#i am heartbroken rn no one talk to me

[secrescaryat]

was going through my videos and went through the five stages of grief all over again

one of the saddest details in chapter 6 imo is how after doing missions w lots of action arthur will have to sit down to rest and you can literally hear how his breathing and coughing gets worse and worse each time :(

[pxrplepolkadots]

💔

[mclqren]

ME AND MY BROKEN HEART ★ CL16 ( & MV33 )

PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!ex girlfriend!reader ; max verstappen x fem!reader

SUMMARY ✦ when charles leaves you heartbroken, you end up letting a certain red bull driver help mend your broken heart [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ reader is a model for dior. for the timeline of this, reader & charles broke up in august 2023 and he got with another woman (choosing to leave her unnamed because there will be NO alex slander) in september 2023. as per request, the fc i've used is hannah harrell, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are closed at the moment.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

liked by yourbsf, anyataylorjoy, and 691,221 others

yourusername had to learn that the hard way 👎

view all comments

user1 THE LAST SLIDE WHAT.

user2 NO WAY ARE HER AND CHARLES BROKEN UP NOOO

user3 MY FAV COUPLE 💔

user4 the way im so upset rn is not healthy.

user5 real like THEY WERE PARENTS

user6 okay but y/n is still glowing??

user7 righttt!! enough about the guy who drives in circles all day, lets talk about HER 😍

user8 he fumbled.

user9 realll!

yourbsf making that cake was wayyy too much fun 😋

yourusername breaking it apart was even better 😉

anyataylorjoy 😍😍

yourusername who needs a man when i have you 🩷

liked by yourbsf, maxverstappen1, and 651,212 others

tagged yourbsf

yourusername greek air to cure the breakup blues 🇬🇷💙

view all comments

user14 OKAYYY MISS Y/N YOU ARE SERVING AS PER!!

user15 she's living her best life and im HERE FOR IT

user16 her and her bsf are actually everything to me

user17 so trueee i need a friendship like theirs!!

user18 NOO I WAS JUST IN GREECE I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED YOU

user19 NO I WAS AS WELL I WAS SO UPSET WHEN I SAW THIS

user20 bet charles is missing you rn!!

user21 who cares abt charles? she's literally getting over him rn, he's so yesterday's news 😴

user22 what part did you go to?? im planning on going over the holidays in october, and i desperately need some recs!! 🫶

yourusername crete!! it was so so beautiful, can confirm 🩷

user23 one driver out of her likes, another (max verstappen) in her likes

user24 okay but they'd be such a good couple??

yourbsf GIRLS TRIP WAS THE BESTTT

yourusername NEXT ONE PENDING FOR SUREEE

mariloublg_ absolutely gorgeous gorgeous girlies 😍😍

yourusername MARILOU MY ANGEL 🩷

user25 i came here from the instagram gossip website and can i just say in that interview you SERVED

user26 REALLL

user27 wait what are you guys on about?? im so lost HELP

user26 go on @/f1wagnews and you'll see!

liked by user28, user29, and 871,291 others

f1wagnews NEW: Y/N L/N breaks her silence on the circulating paparazzi pictures of Charles Leclerc & his apparent new girlfriend. When asked by the media what she thought, she said: "Charles being in a new relationship not even a month later is naturally a shock, seeing as I assumed he would treat me and the times we shared over the past three years with the same dignity and respect that I am treating him. I don't know, I guess these sort of memories aren't as priceless to him as they are to me. Still, I hope he's happy in his new relationship."

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user28 OKAYY MISS Y/N IS BACKK!!

user29 THIS is what i was waiting for.

user30 she is actually handling this really maturely to be fair to her!!

user31 realll!! i wish i would've been like this with my ex

user32 okay so a lot of the comments are saying she handled this w grace or whatever but is it just me who disagrees? like she's literally being rude to him and his new girlfriend, and you're all hyping her up?? like huh??

user33 honestly this comment makes no sense to me; she didn't say anything rude about charles in this, she simply said that she was shocked to see him in a relationship when they were together for three years, and honestly she's valid for that! i don't think many girls would enjoy seeing their ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend all over the media, and so y/n is honestly handling this so well.

yourusername

( caption one: crazy huh 😉 | caption two: compensation acquired ✅ + tags )

liked by mariloublg_, maxverstappen1, and 667,891 others

tagged mariloublg_

yourusername america with my girl 🩷 (& her boyfriend...)

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user37 THE CAPTION LMAOO

user38 Y/N REMAINS HILARIOUS

user39 ASTON MARTIN SWITCH UP HELLOOO??

user40 I KNOWW marilou and her are so cute though i loveee

user41 it's so weird to see her in green after having seen her in red for the past three years

user42 i knowww but she looks like she's happy now and that's all that matters tbh!!

lance_stroll thanks so much for the shoutout y/n, appreciate you too i guess

yourusername listen stroll if you hurt her i'll be at ur doorstep.

lance_stroll im actually sort of scared of you at times y/n.

yourusername good! 😊😊

maxverstappen1 so you liked seeing me win then?

yourusername you've been winning since like the prehistoric ages mate i think ive gotten used to it by now 🙄 (yes)

user43 so like is it just me or is this flirty...

mariloublg_ MY GIRL FOREVERRR 🫶

yourusername 🩷🩷

liked by yourbsf, maxverstappen1, and 702,192 others

tagged maxverstappen

yourusername second slide is me when i finally manage to get my shit together

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user44 OKAY BUT ARE MAX AND Y/N DATING ORRR

user45 MAYBEEE!! honestly they'd be so cute i just KNOW he'd treat her right

user46 y/n you are my everything.

user47 the flowersss?? did miss y/n get herself another man?

user48 has to be max.

maxverstappen1 the second slide was uncalled for. ☹️

yourusername I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING IM SO SORRY IT WAS HILARIOUS 😭

maxverstappen1 the flowers 👀👀

yourusername yeah!! wonder who got me those 😍

anyataylorjoy you have a man now? ☹️

yourusername nooo ur the only one i need baby i swear 🩷

liked by mariloublg_, user49, and 921,933 others

f1wagnews NEW: Y/N L/N is a WAG again...but for a different driver on the grid! In a recent interview during the Las Vegas Grand Prix, Max Verstappen confirmed to the press that he and Y/N had entered a relationship a couple of weeks prior, after pictures circulated of the two in his car in Monaco: "Well obviously she came to the COTA grand prix and I had already known her before and we were good friends, so we fell right back where we left off, and here we are now! [...] Yeah things are going great, she's truly one of the best people I've ever met."

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user49 Y/NSTAPPEN LETS GOOOO

user50 MY GIRL IS A WAG AGAINNN I LOVE

user51 is it just me who misses charles and y/n ☹️

user52 yeah. 😊

mariloublg_ ❤️❤️

user53 MARILOUUUU?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!

user54 ONE OF Y/N'S BEST FRIENDS AND FELLOW WAG COMMENTING OH ITS SERIOUS.

user55 they are seriously adorableee 🫶🫶

yourusername

( caption one: third time's the charm? 😬 | caption two: wtf is this man thinking about now. )

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 934,219 others

tagged maxverstappen1

yourusername MR WORLD CHAMPPP!! so so proud of you maxie, my winner always 🩷

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user59 Y/N AWWWW

user60 i have a feeling this one's working out idk

user61 oh absolutely

user62 so happy to see you happy again y/n!! 🫶🫶

user63 lost some race driver and came back with a world champion 🏆🏆

user64 ADORABLEEE

mariloublg_ MY CUTIES

yourusername OUR BIGGEST FAN

mariloublg_ well as your fairy godmother it IS an obligation to be ur biggest fan ever 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

maxverstappen1 love you ❤️

yourusername my champ 🏆

charles_leclerc so happy for both of you ❤️

yourusername thank you so much charles, hope ur doing well w ur gf 🩷

user65 charles and y/n are talking again, i can officially sleep in peace.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[love-belle]

mi corazón mi alma mi amor !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their relationship is finally in the light.

or

for when you find your soulmate. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // carlos sainz x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - pretty big carlos fic coming soon!! i hope u like it, thank you for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, carmenmmundt and 799,415 others

yourusername usually i don't like men but this one is ok

7,628 comments

username MOTHER?????

username NAHHH NOT MY WIFE TRYING TO SOFT LAUNCH A MAN

username the way i gasped and fell to the floor

username i NEED to see nando react to this like NOW

lewishamilton i thought you liked me??

-> charles_leclerc yeah y/n what is this.

-> pierregasly i'm heartbroken

-> maxverstappen1 truly disappointed

-> landonorris i see how it is :///

-> danielricciardo and here i was, thinking i was your favourite

-> yourusername i find u all equally annoying

username ATE SO HARD

username idc about him but can he fight????

username the way im in shambled rn

fernandoalo_official llamame ahora mismo ( call me right now )

-> yourusername mi teléfono está roto lo siento papá ( my phone is broken sorry papa )

username no bc if i was that dude i would be SHAKING like nando is so protective when it comes to y/n

username i would do ANYTHING to be a speck of dust near y/n and nando whenever they talk about this 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

username we can talk it out babe just come home ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

carmenmmundt missing you sweetheart 🫶🏼

-> yourusername u NEED to come and see me rn ❤️‍🩹

username it's one of the drivers i SWEAR

-> username nah bc nando would actually go crazy like

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 812,425 others

carlossainz55 dias de verano y amor ( summer days and love )

7,927 comments

username HELP THE SECOND PICTURE????

username hahahahahaha im SO normAl aboUt thIs sO normal

username god i am not your strongest soldier

username my parasocial relationship 💔💔💔

charles_leclerc hope you're both having fun!!

*liked by carlossainz55*

username not to alarm anyone but that looks suspiciously like y/n alonso

-> username who

-> username y/n alonso????? founder of aesthete the brand????? fernando alonso's daughter????

-> username who asked

-> username damn leave my wife and our parasocial relationship alone y'all

landonorris tell her that her cat hates me

-> carlossainz55 tell her yourself???

-> landonorris can't bc i've been blocked since the day i called her cat "whatever pandora let out of her box"

-> carlossainz55 she says that she hopes that casserole bites you

-> landonorris wow.

-> username ISN'T Y/N'S CAT NAMED CASSEROLE????

-> username CARLOS EXPLAIN YOURSELF

-> username im just gonna ignore this for the sake of my sanity!

username not carlos exposing their relationship in the comments omg 😭😭😭

username somewhere right now a grandpa is pulling out his car to run over carlos

yourusername i like the view

-> carlossainz55 you did huh??

-> yourusername yeah the sea's pretty cool!!

username they're in love my lord

username not a driver snatching my girlfriend like the fuck.

fernandoalo_official carlos call me right now.

-> carlossainz55 uh

-> yourusername this is so funny

-> fernandoalo_official both of you actually, i'm setting up a zoom meeting.

username NOT A ZOOM MEETING TAKING PLACE

username NANDO'S ABOUT TO SQUARE UP WITH CARLOS OMG

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by ihearty/n, f1wags4ever, sainzsaints111 and 56,826 others

paddock.club formula one driver, carlos sainz jr. and y/n alonso, businesswoman, activist, philanthropist and model spark dating rumor after being seen together in monte carlo. these two were seen on alonso's yacht along with a few of their close friends including charles leclerc, pierre gasly, kika gomes and others. this is not the first time rumours flew about the pair as at the starting to this year's season, y/n was seen at the ferrari garage, a change from her usual spot with aston martin. we wonder what fernando alonso, y/n's father and a fellow driver of carlos thinks about this pair. click on the link in our bio to know everything we know about their relationship.

2,278 comments

username OH MY GOD

username no bc they'd be so cute together

username y/n lives to give her dad grey hairs and i love her for that

username im already in love with them hello????

username no bc the way they both talk about each other

-> username "he's like such a nice person that you can't help but feel comfortable around him and he's always making you laugh and making you smile and he can make your day better by just his presence and i love that about him"

-> username "she's like this ray this sunlight that everyone desperately needs, she's everything and im so grateful to know her cause she's truly a blessing"

username THEY'RE SO PRETTY

username alr sainz me and u mcdonald's parking lot. u need to pay for stealing my wife

username i would give ANYTHING to know of nando's reaction to this omg

username quick! everyone act shocked!

username we been knew 🥱🙄

username nando on a mission to kill carlos after seeing this like

username IM CRYING THEY'RE SO PARENTS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username gone died dead deceased six feet under decomposed decaying

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, fernandoalo_official, lilymhe and 897,627 others

yourusername mi corazón mi alma mi amor ( my heart my soul my love )

tagged carlossainz55

8,628 comments

username OH MY GOD

username i mean we knew but OSHAHAJAJAHAKA

username THE CAPTION IM DEAD.

username MY HEART MY SOUL MY LOVE

lewishamilton so glad the secret's out!! so happy for you guys 🤍🤍🤍

-> yourusername we love u lewis 🤍🤍🤍

username RUE WHEN WAS THIS ⁉️⁉️⁉️

username idk who to be more jealous of

charles_leclerc get a room

-> yourusername we ARE in a room and ur on the couch sir please move

-> username not charles being in their room 😭😭😭😭

username i need nando's reaction to this

username no bc the way im scared for carlos like

fernandoalo_official happy for you both ❤️ but tell carlos to remember what we talked about on zoom

-> yourusername im pretty sure u traumatized my bf

-> carlossainz55 i will never be recovering

-> username I CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT NANDO SET UP A ZOOM MEETING FOR HIM AND THESE TWO

username my man really wifed up the only daughter of a fellow driver and then exposed their relationship and i respect that so much

lilymhe he better not be taking you away from me

-> yourusername im always yours gf

-> carlossainz55 oh

-> alex_albon well this is awkward!

username the caption has me on the floor and sobbing and crying my heart out

username HER INTERVIEW YESTERDAY WAS SO CUTE I DIED

-> username OH MY GOD I MISSED THAT WHAT HAPPENED

-> username basically the interviewer asked about her relationship status and instead of confirming or denying anything she just said "im in my happy place with someone who makes me the happiest and that's all i could ever ask for"

-> username STOP OH MY GOD

carlossainz55 el más afortunado de ser amado por ti ( the luckiest to be loved by you )

-> yourusername eres dueño de mi corazón ( you own my heart )

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, fernandoalo_official and 898,728 others

carlossainz55 yes she stole my pancakes but it's okay cause she's REALLY beautiful

tagged yourusername

username the way BOTH of my parasocial relationships are in shambles rn like

username need someone to be my bf rn i swear i'll feed u cookie dough

username MOTHER OH MY GOD

username she's so pretty im

carmenmmundt the most gorgeous person 🤍

-> carlossainz55 i agree

username where can i get a carlos??? asking for a friend :)

username mother is mothering as always

username can u fight.

username SHE'S SO AHHSJSJSJSJKSSK

username just one chance pls 🙏🙏🙏

landonorris gross ❤️

-> carlossainz55 we don't care ❤️

username they're my parents your honour

username i just know that nando regrets introducing these two

username someone a man is having a breakdown over his daughter dating his colleague ⁉️⁉️⁉️

username they're such a GORGEOUS couple like

danielricciardo when u smack the shit out of me for eating your food :///

-> carlossainz55 she's an exception of course

-> yourusername my love ❤️

-> danielricciardo brb need to throw up

username the difference in their captions is WILD

username LITERAL PARENTS

fernandoalo_official one wrong step and she'll be using a brush to sweep you off the ground

-> carlossainz55 noted

-> yourusername papá stop threatening my boyfriend

-> carlossainz55 boyfriend 😏😏😏😏😏🔥🔥🔥🔥😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

-> charles_leclerc what the fuck is he doing?

-> yourusername he does this every time i call him my bf, it'll pass

username carlos is down SO bad and it's SO understandable bc i would be too if y/n was my gf

username pretty gf 🤝 obsessed bf

yourusername i hate u for choosing the second picture

-> carlossainz55 you hate me huh? that's not what you said last night

-> landonorris just gonna leave now fernandoalo_official

-> yourusername NORRIS

-> fernandoalo_official sainz run.

[kalki-tarot]

A conversation between you and your future spouse – timeless pac 💌

Disclaimer : this reading is for entertainment purposes only and does not guarantee any possible outcomes. Tarot is not 100% correct all the times. Your life is in your hands and you are responsible for your own actions and decisions.

Pile one 💫

This situation seems like some third party is affecting your relationship. The third party can be anything from people to things to addictions etc. You assumed thay future spouse may have lied to you about something which caused a fight between you guys. Remember that fights are normal in a relationship. And can be resolved with proper communication and understanding.

Your fs : See, I'm too disappointed with this situation and i deeply regret it. But you see, it's not entirely my fault..

You : I'm completely heartbroken because of you

Your fs : I clearly left and ignored that woman when she approached me darling, I walked away! I don't even know that woman!

Your anger calms down when your fs explains themselves. And you feel relieved. You may have insecurities about your fs leaving you for some other woman, so you got angry.

You : You know that I'm scared of you leaving me alone for someone else

Your fs : I know that, and i will never leave you sweetheart! Do you get that!? Don't get insecure about anything. I'm always yours. You are my better half and you are the only one with whom i feel at home, at peace.

Your fs comforts you and tells you how much you mean to them and you need not worry about anything or anyone. They also hug you and rub your back for sometime. This situation may take place while you guys are on a trip or traveling somewhere.

Pile two 💫

Wow, this conversation will take place when you are getting married or about to get married to your fs. You are happy and excited but you are also having racing thoughts and a restless heart. You are just feeling nervous about the whole thing, some of you guys actually suffer from overthinking and anxiety. And you are having intrusive thoughts at this moment.

Your fs : Hey honey ~ why are you standing there all alone? Come! Have fun with all our friends and relatives. Let's have a drink together ^^

You just stand there silent and say : Umh, I'm actually kinda scared.. to get married i guess..? This all seems to fast to me. I'm having intrusive thoughts, my mind is thinking of all the possibilities ahh! I'm getting frustrated... this feels like a big change for me. It's not that i don't want to get married with you it's just.. too fast for me!

Your fs : Hey hey hey! Calm down! I'm here for you. This may feel too fast but think of how joyful you were when we first decided to get married! It's a new beginning for both of us, i can understand you. You just need to relax. Don't worry about anything, I'll take the lead and do everything for you. You just take a deep breathe and calm yourself.

Your fs calms you down and assures you. You feel better when you hear them talk about taking care of you well. And you know from the deep corners of your heart that they will make a good spouse. Your anxiety feels relieved. And you are happy to have them in your life as a counterpart.

Pile 03 💫

This conversation can happen when you are going through a tough time in regards of your career. You are struggling between work and deadlines. You are completely exhausted but you are still working hard. Even people in your workplace may not appreciate you enough and you feel disappointed with yourself.

Your fs : hey nerd ;) where your eyes lookin' at? Come let's have some fun, take a break would you? Let's go out somewhere shall we?

You : Can you please not disturb me? I'm doing something important rn. And I'm not going anywhere till i finish this !

You frown and continue with your work. Your fs notices that.

Your fs : what happened dear? Is everything alright ? Are you stressed about anything?

You : yes! I am! Anything to do with you?

Your fs : why are u getting mad sweetie? 😋

You : AHHAHASAHAH, I'm so f**king stressed about this damn work i have to do. no one even notices my hardwork and patience! I'm sick of this!

Your fs : I appreciate you, your family appreciates you and you should change your godamn job if it keeps you hurting all the time yk? You have so much money already you should start some business or smth.

You : You know what! You are absolutely correct. I should start something of my own.

Your fs motivated you to leave your toxic work environment and start something of your own.

[starbabyg]

Can you do a smutty jack Hughes (like juraj and arber) ??

Jack Hughes smutty thots

you don’t gotta tell me twice to write about my baby daddy!!

Jack has such boyfriend energy when it comes to sex

Like that boyfriend you have in college that you experiment with and the two of you have a lot of firsts together

He loves having sex anywhere and anytime

He’ll drag you into the locker room before a game

“Come on y/n, no one’s in here they’re all on the ice for warm ups. It’ll be quick.”

You’re always so hesitant but somehow he always convinces you

He spends a lot of time beforehand just staring at your naked body

Hands running down your chest and stomach, “Fuck, you’re just so perfect”

Ohhhh how fine he looks as he bites his lip

Sometimes he forgets foreplay, that horny boy just wants to get straight to fucking

So you talk him through a lot

“Am I doing it right?” He’ll ask innocently as he’s going down on you

He’ll always look up at you while he gives you head, always trying to make sure you feel good

The fingering and clit sucking combo he does is immaculate

Once he gets the hang of it he’s perfect

He hits juuuust the right spot with his index and middle finger while swirling his tongue around your rose bud

When you squeal in pleasure he can’t help but laugh while still attached to you, chuckles reverberating through you

Much more of a receiver than a giver, he’s selfish with sex (he’s such a spoiled brat but I can’t help but love him)

He just lovessss how good you look while choking on his length

Holding your hair in a ponytail, he nods in approval “mmhmm just like that. Keep going and I’m gonna cum babe”

I feel like his dick is so pretty

Like it’s cut and the tip is a cute rosy pink. It has a single vein that just runs up the underside.

He either keeps is nice and trimmed or has a small bush, not too much tho cause he’s a manscaper lmfao

He has a lil happy trail that leads from his v-line downwards

It’s not a thick happy trail but it’s visible

He’s a biter

He loves to leave sloppy kisses along your tummy that end in tiny lil bites

It just leaves shivers down your spine

I feel like he loves a good hair tug

you give him the slightest bit of pressure when you tug his locks, ouuu it sets him off

He’s a freak for public sex

Has a list of places he wants to do it. This includes a beach, the movies, while he drives, and on the private plane (which are all going to be smuts soon wink wink lmk which one to do first)

He also has a voyeurism kink,,

Like he loves to fuck your loudly while his friends are over

It’s like he wants all of them to hear you screaming his name

“Mhmm, let ‘em know who’s making you feel this fucking good”

He’s just always so horny

He has to fuck you like five times a day

He wakes up, wants to fuck, before practice, wants to fuck, right before bed, wants to fuck

It’s insane that his skinny lil body has all that stamina

He loves to cuddle afterwards

He keeps a rag/baby wipes by the bed so he can clean you up as fast as possible because he just wants to lay in your arms

He honestly just loves being [half] naked with you

Little to no clothes is his favorite

He loves when you just wear one of his t shirts and your panties

It’s easier to access, just bend you over and fuck you wherever you are

Sex with him is just fun and cute

It gets hot and heavy

But it’s like young love sex

It’s romantic and silly and something you just remember forever

God I’m getting heartbroken cause I can’t fuck him rn!!!!

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 5

CW: dubious consent, mentions of NON CON, neteyam yearning for reader, angst all over, you can see the sexual tension with your naked eyes, possessive neteyam, feelings of general and sexual confusion, mentions of sexual fluids, talks of being sexually aroused, sexual content, tsaheylu is mentioned, reader is still scared of Neteyam but she longs for him too, fear kink (if you squint), mentions of blood, size kink (if you really squint), primal [hunter/prey] kink (if you squint HARD), crying, strong language, the word "harassment" is mentioned, MAY BE TRIGGERING to some people, mentions of exophilia, indecisive reader, heartbroken Neteyam, heartbroken reader. Please, tell me if I missed anything important!

I slept a lot during the day yesterday and was up until late with my bf having dinner, watching YouTube etc and, when he went to sleep, I was restless, still didn't feel like sleeping so, I decided to edit and finish this chapter that was being kept in my Docs for way too long, it was getting dusty 😂 So, I might have stayed up until morning in the zone editing and finishing this 👀 I'm REALLY sleepy and exhausted rn, so, if some parts of this chapter don't really make sense, try to have empathy for my poor tired being and forgive me <3 I'm aware that I'm a hot mess who has insomnia and needs to get a grip and not put her art above healthy sleeping habits but what can I do? I'm one of those chaotic artists who have a hectic, unstable life and feel the most alive when they're immersed in their craft, running away from their problems, pouring their whole soul into their works 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not proofread. Me. too. tired. 💤  I'll do it ASAP! hope you guys like this. 🤍😘 comments will ALWAYS be incredibly appreciated.

Chapter 4

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

From lashes to ashes and from lust to dust

In your sweetest torment I am lost

And we sense the danger but don't want to give up

It's heartache every moment, from the start 'til the end

It's heartache every moment with you

Heartache Every Moment (HIM)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You stared at Neteyam, at his big face, covered with stripes and fascinating bioluminescent freckles, leaving unique patterns all over his blue skin.

Even though he was kneeling down, doing everything he could to seem smaller and not so scary, to make you feel less intimidated by his size, his face was still way above your eyes, you still felt your neck hurt a little when you had to look up - straining your muscles, already sore from working too much - to gaze at his eyes.

"Oh, paskalin" (honey) "I could make you feel so good, you don't even know..." he was now even closer to you - you didn't even think it was possible but there he was, his massive frame making you feel smaller than ever. Fear of him snapping at you, in case you did something that didn't please, and hurting you was taking over your mind. You didn't know that Omatikaya boy, how could you trust him? "Give me a chance, be my mate and lemme show you how much pleasure I can give you, how I can make you feel safe and fulfilled in my arms after we make love. Like no fucking human male could ever do. Not like I would." Neteyam's fangs got prominent at that moment, and you could tell he was restraining himself from hissing at the thought of a human man having you in his arms. God, that had a name...

"Obsession." you thought

Despite those horrible feelings you were experiencing, his foreign accent still sounded weird but strangely fascinating to your ears, simultaneously. You hated yourself for feeling drawn to Neteyam, even though he was clearly stepping over your limits. You didn't know if maybe it was a na'vi courtship behavior for the male to get this close to the female, even if she hadn't shown any signs of wanting him to. But Neteyam wasn't exactly courting you, you thought. It was more like... straight up harassment, at least in human culture.

Your breath became heavier inside your oxygen mask when you thought about him using his fangs to draw blood from your skin in case you were able to be fast enough to go past where he was kneeling down next to you, and, tried to run away. With his incredibly slender, toned legs he could easily catch up with you in a millisecond and grab you, being free to do whatever he wanted to your small, defenseless human body. That thought made you feel like someone was knotting your intestines tight.

"Eywa... You're just so fucking pretty, even in this demon form, that I... I wanna do to you, right now, all I've been dreaming about, since I first saw you and you made my blood run hotter through my veins, such a fire you ignited inside me, syulang..." (flower)

Neteyam's breath was so heavy once out of his nostrils, clouding your mask, like he's controlling his urges, trying to hold back from touching you. You felt your knees weaken, fear and tension being the reasons why.

"Y-you don't want me, Neteyam. Not really. You just think you do. You're only intrigued by me because I look different from the girls you're used to. The na'vi girls." You didn't know how but you dug deep inside your chest and found the courage there to say that, looking into the alien's eyes.

Neteyam chuckled faintly, air coming out of his nose, in disbelief

"How can you say such thing, hì’i?"

"Hì..hì?" You tried to pronounce what you had just heard, in vain. You had no idea what that na'vi word meant. It's not like you knew that much of the na'vi language, anyway. You only knew the basic stuff that you had to study and learn to be able pass one of the tests that would determine if you were ready to get an Avatar body from the lab

"Hì'i." He corrected you, smiling wide and laughing quite a bit. "You're so silly and cute. Hì'i means "small in size" in my people's language. You are small, in this current physical form. But, let's talk about what's most important: what makes you think I don't really want you?"

"Because I am a demon to you, as you said. I am a human girl, not a na'vi girl." you said, rage slipping through your eyes. Why the hell was that crazy na'vi guy calling you a "demon", saying that he wants you sexually and calling you pet names, all at once?

"But you have an Avatar body. Nothing is preventing you from having your consciousness transferred for good to that body. If my father did it, so can you." The alien said, full of confidence. You wondered if he was going insane.

"And what makes you think I wanna do it?"

“My tawtute," (human) "I can smell you. I know you want me too. You're wet for me. Don't forget my senses are way sharper than what you're used to" Neteyam smiles calmly while enjoying the way your scent hit his nostrils. You felt your face flood with color, so much blood going directly to that part of your body as you felt incredibly embarassed when you heard those words. You had just realized your panties were soaked. "And, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you… Your juices smell so fucking delicious. You're driving me insane right now, yawne. I think that, at the end of the day, becoming my mate and making tsaheylu with me wouldn't be such a horrible experience for you."

Your thoughts cursed at you like crazy: "Damn it!! I must be kidding my own self!! Having a slight crush on him is one thing, getting fucking wet for him is something totally different! Do I have a fear kink, a rape kink or am I just into freaking exophilia?! For real, girl... There's gotta be something extremely wrong with you for you to be this turned on by the thought of this alien guy taking you by force."

"You're crazy! I'm not gonna be your mate! Just fucking let me go!" You wondered if you had just lost your mind to say and do that to Neteyam, being currently in your human body (if you were Dreamwalking it would obviously be safer) but you couldn't take all that was happening at that moment anymore. Your heart was beating too fast, like you were about to have a cardiac arrest. It was too much. You were overwhelmed.

You caught Neteyam off guard, the words you shouted stinged him so hard it left his very heart wounded, the muscles throbbing in pain. You noticed he seemed hurt, the sides of his mouth curled down faintly and his cat like ears were pointing towards the ground.

You felt bad for hurting his feelings. Even though he was disrespecting you, there was still enough empathy inside you to make you feel bad for making him suffer. You did not enjoy hurting people.

You inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm your nerves and, finally, you said:

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, even though you honestly deserve it. There's no excuse for what you're doing. You can't force me to be your mate. I'm not even na'vi! And don't start with that "You have an Avatar body" thing, please!" You breathe in deeply and let the air out slowly "I'm not your dad and I don't intend to follow his steps. I know very well I could die if I tried to go past Eywa's eye. Even if I wanted to get my consciousness transferred forever to my Avatar form, it's too damn risky. Plus, what makes you think I'd ever do it for you? I barely know you." You sighed, exhausted from it all. "Let me go back to my room. Please…?"

Neteyam looked tired and he was starting to feel defeated, like a soldier fighting in the front lines of a war who was losing his stamina after shooting way too many enemies in a very short period of time.

"I just wish you could…" it's like the words felt too rough against his throat, like it was too hard to talk at that moment "... could see that I won't hurt you." He sighed again "I know it feels weird and I'm big and scary, like you say…" His heart hurt at the reminder of your tough words "But I promise you - and I take promises very seriously. My parents taught me to do so, ever since I was old enough to understand their words - I would never lay a finger you." The expression on his face looked utterly serious, like he truly meant it. "Ever."

"You're hurting me with your actions, your words... the way you talk about me, about my body. I don't know about your culture, but it's pretty disrespectful in mine. I feel violated. I do think most of what the human race considers right or wrong is just bullshit, dumb society rules made up by even dumber people. But I have to agree with them on this one." You said

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, hì’i tawtute." (small human) Neteyam looked down at the floor and there was shame all over his face

"Opening my window for you was a mistake."

Neteyam looked at you with eyes filled with sadness

He got back on his feet and stepped away from you, staying now arguably a good amount of steps away from where you were standing.

"Please, don't say that…" Neteyam pleaded with tears in his eyes

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

༊⁀➷

Once you got back to your room, took your oxygen mask out of your face on autopilot and closed the window, you stared for a while at Neteyam's oddly tall figure, still standing in front of your room.

You looked at him and your heart broke. He looked so hurt. His big yellow irises shone insanely in the dark of the eclipse. But his eyes were tainted with tears. His dark braids fell onto his shoulders perfectly. He was incredibly beautiful. But why could you only let your guard down when he was away from you? When you were behind a glass and he was standing on the other side? It broke your heart to do that. But you also knew he was being too much. Too eager. Stepping over your limits and making you uncomfortable. But what if that was just his na'vi nature? You had heard before that the na'vi were humanoid but still animalistic. Maybe it was just… his primal instincts to find a mate. You wondered if maybe you were being too harsh on him. But you still felt like you could not and should not trust him. Even though you wanted to. 

You watched him walk away, his shoulders pointing downwards, his posture showing he knew he had lost that battle.

You wondered if he would come back or if he would give up on you. You felt so idiotic. Why did you want him to come back? He was not treating you the way he should be, with respect for your boundaries.

You felt so confused. There was a lump in your throat. You felt like you were about to cry too.

Your hands were cold and you were feeling anxious and your chest was filled with angst. You wanted to scream Neteyam's name and ask him to come back.  But you did not. You knew you shouldn't. It could awake someone. It could be dangerous. You should not trust Neteyam, you kept repeating in your mind.

Your feet started to move, almost as if they did it on their own, because it felt like your mind was somewhere else, like your brain was occupied with something else other than sending a message to your feet and tell them to take you back to your bed. You were lost in your thoughts. Dazed as hell. 

Once you laid on your bed and covered your body with the warm sheets, you felt a sinking feeling of sadness and guilt bruising your chest. Hot, painful tears streamed down your face and the lump in your throat intensified. Why were you crying? And why were you thinking about Neteyam Suli while you cried?

You wondered if he could imagine that you were now crying, just like he was when he left.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life

[dellinah]

I am heartbroken and frothing at the mouth that I have yet to see anyone on Tumblr mentioning the YT animation Bun hunting: overture

You'd think a furry animation inspired by 30-60's cartoons with a lot of fanservice would be popular here (for one reason or another)

It's barely 3 minutes long but I'm IN LOVE

with the animation style. Yeah

I wish I was in the mindspace to talk more about it bc this animation made me happier than I can say rn and it deserved a ramble but anyway

There's just something about seeing the old (obviously(?) Song of the south-inspired) Disney 2D animated style done SO WELL in this era that made me really happy and even so short it seems so cute and promising and all of it is SO WELL DONE

I would give anything for this to be longer but I'm so happy with what we got. I hope Piti Yindee and the team get to do more with it eventually

[filmbyjy]

hi its me, the one who asked u for the exam prep fic w jay.

i want some angst. Its because im going through that rn. HE FELL FIRST BUT SHE FELL HARDER, where jay gives up on their "friendship" because the reader was too busy denying her feelings for him. (u can end it w some fluff if u want heh) Doesnt necessarily havw to be with jay btw any member from enhypen u think fits best for this works.

its alright if u dont want to!!

a/n: oh hi anon☺️ oh my god but this request phew😮‍💨 prepare the tissues bc I feel like i’m gonna make this too angsty. of course, i’m gonna end it off on a good note. my heart can’t handle not getting a happy ending.

pairing: park jongseong x fem!reader

genre: angst but fluff towards the end

warning: talks about cutting/self-harm and depression (do proceed with caution). mentions of dead parents. I believe I made this too angsty so i am sorry. you do end up with jay though so that’s the good part. i did also change up a bit bc i believe that i have triggered someone with jake like ‘slut-shaming’ you. i am so sorry for that part.

word count: 1.5K words

taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo

our friendship

10 years of friendship.

down the drain just like that. all because of your selfishness. you couldn’t forget the way jay’s hands trembled as he voices out his feelings.

you felt like the villain for not believing him. denying your own feelings for him. you couldn’t love him. it was impossible, not when jay was for someone else. you couldn’t provide him with the affection he deserves. you were a broken record.

“why did you hurt him?” sunghoon asks.

— placing this in case the read more messes up —

“i didn’t mean to.” you nonchalantly say. the boy sighs.

“i know you didn’t mean to but I know you’re just hurting yourself too.”

“i’m not hurting myself.”

“when was the last time you ate properly?”

you kept quiet. jay usually made sure you ate on time, even if you didn’t have enough money, he made sure to buy you a meal. your life wasn’t the best. your dad did drugs and was absent most of your life. your mom ran off with a foreigner. you were left alone to fend for yourself. no family member to care for you. you matured quicker than most kids because of that.

sunghoon places a carton of milk. your favourite. one that jay usually buys for you.

“take this. you haven’t had lunch.”

“it’s alright. I don’t like this flavour.” you lied.

“that’s a lie. both jake and I have seen you happily drinking it after jay places it on your desk.”

“well, i stopped liking it.”

“after jay left.”

“well, he left for a reason.”

“because he was heartbroken.”

“his mom wanted him to study in america. that’s his real reason.”

“he would’ve stayed for you, (name).”

“i don’t want to hold him back, sunghoon.” you glared at the boy. sunghoon sighs.

“you aren’t holding him back, he just loves you.”

“well, i don’t love him!”

“stop being in denial. you love him just much as he loves you. actually no, you love him way more than he could love you.”

“you’re bullshitting, sunghoon.”

“you’re going to regret saying this (name).”

you left sunghoon. you didn’t want to hear what he was saying because if you stopped denying, you’d hurt yourself. falling in love with your best friend was something scary. falling hard for your best friend was the worst.

it had been years since you graduated from high school. you haven’t heard much from sunghoon, jake or even jay. you had fell out of that friendship ever since the talk. for some odd reason, your old classmates had organised this get together since it had been a while. you were not preparing yourself to meet your friends from high school.

“(name).” heeseung yells out. you gave him a little smile.

“class president.” you say. he chuckles.

“it was for 1 term, (name).”

“you were still our class president.”

“the best one.” jake slings his arm around heeseung. heeseung groans as he attempts to push jake’s arms off.

“it’s been a while, (name).” jake says. his voice laces with venom which wasn’t how he was normally and how he was back then. you nearly wince at how his tone sounded.

you could feel a shiver creep up and you were actually scared of jake.

“uh, yes. i-it’s been a while.” you say. afraid of saying something wrong to get jake angry. honestly, he had a very good reason to get mad at you. you hurt jay. one of the first few people jake cared about.

after you hurt jay, jake had followed jay to America. where they both continued their studies to together. sunghoon visited them and eventually moved there a little to spend time and possibly study there too. eventually, all of them moved back here to continue college since they missed Seoul.

seeing jake in a long while, you realised you missed him and the friendship the both of you had. jake was sort of like a brother to you. he was the closest to you but of course he clearly chose jay. you wanted to walk away but jake grabs on your wrist. heeseung leaves, he could feel the heavy tension.

“I see you’re happy with how your life turned out.”

“what?”

“cut that bullshit. iseul told us. you go to parties and have fun as if you didn’t do anything wrong! it’s disgusting, after you hurt your own best friend’s feelings?”

“jaeyun-”

“don’t call me that. we aren’t friends anymore.”

it fell silent between the both of you, the sound of EDM playing in the background. tears prickling at your eyes. someone comes to pull jake off you. you knew that familiar cologne.

“jake, you shouldn’t fight here. just leave her alone.” jay says.

“she hurt you, jay. how could you just ignore that? she’s been living her life happily while you cried everyday back in America.”

“don’t.” jake shoves jay’s arm and walks away. jay turns to you. he attempts to touch your wrist but you moved back.

“(name).” the way he says your name was perfect. it felt right but you shouldn’t.

you shook your head. tears falling down.

“jay, please.”

his eyes caught sight of slashing marks. they seem pretty recent. he knows you were never one to harm yourself but what exactly happened?

you left the place that day. it was when you started to really close off. you see, after jay left. a whole series of bad luck just dumped onto you. your dad got into car accident and died on impact. your mom was diagnosed with cancer and she died months later. you were left alone having to work hard to earn your own money.

you could feel the burden of living alone just pile over you and you couldn’t take it anymore. everything was overwhelming. too overwhelming. even the feeling of pain wasn’t as immense as the burden you felt. which was why you started self-harming yourself. you loved the feeling of the blade cutting your skin, it was numbing.

“(name), could you please tell me the answer?” the lecturer asks as you were daydreaming. you easily answered and the lecturer hums.

the bell rings soon after and students start pouring out of the class. you tugged onto your hoodie arms, hoping the hide the latest cut. it was itchy and it started bleeding again when you went to pick on it. you simply placed a bandaid over it.

you were packing your things when you felt a tap on your shoulder. you looked up.

“hi.” sunghoon says. you looked away, you couldn’t let him see you like this. you shouldn’t associate yourself with your old friend group. you walked away quick but sunghoon was fast. curse his long legs.

“(name).” he stops you and pulls back your hood. that’s when he realises the bloodshot look you had. he gasps a little.

“what happened to you?”

“didn’t sleep.”

“you look like you got hit by a truck.” he winced.

“maybe I did. what’s your problem?”

“look about what happened that day with jake at the reunion…”

“I forgive him. I deserve it after all.” you walked away but sunghoon tries to catch up to you.

“yeah but that doesn’t account for what he did to you.”

“he didn’t punch me. he just talked to me.”

“(name).”

“please, sunghoon. i don’t want to live in a world with guilt. I’ve already hurt jay enough and I don’t want to hurt jake too.”

“yeah but like I’ve said a long time ago. you’re hurting yourself too. I heard that you rarely ever go out besides actually spending time in school. you’ve gone from a social butterfly to an introvert.”

“what’s wrong with being an introvert.”

“it’s just not who you are (name).”

“so what if I am not who I was. people change sunghoon. i think it’s best if I stayed away from jay. we should have never cross paths.”

“but you like him.”

“yeah, I do. what will happen? hmm? jay doesn’t like me anymore, I know it. he’s probably already dating someone hot. someone that suits him. someone who isn’t me.”

“you are someone that suits me, (name).” jay voices out. you shook your head and turned around to jay.

“I am not right for you. you wouldn’t want an emotionally and mentally broken girl. I already lost my parents, I don’t want to lose anything anymore.”

“your parents are gone?”

“they’re dead. it’s been a year or two. after i graduated from high school…”

“(name).”

“jay, i’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my feelings but it’s too late. i am too broken.”

“you know I wouldn’t care if you’re too broken. I would’ve held you tight and cared for you.”

“jay, I just think we were on different levels. you were someone popular, smart and good looking. i’m just whatever this is.”

“I never cared about the stereotype. I loved you for who you were.”

“love is a strong word to describe how you’re feel about me.” you say. jay holds you close.

“but I do love you.”

“you wouldn’t understand, how much I feel for you.”

“then show me.”

“I can’t. not in public, where sunghoon and jake are staring at us.”

jake rolls his eyes, “go ahead and kiss. this idiot has been rooting for the both of you since high school.” he smacks sunghoon.

“what’s so wrong for hoping they’d get together. I thought they fit each other.” sunghoon glares at jake.

jay pecks your forehead, “we’ll take this slow until you feel better, hmm?”

and he did make you feel better.

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[websterss]

GOT THE ONE THING THAT I WANT — WES BENNETT

SUMMARY: You want to hate her, but hate that you can't blame her. She has Wes's heart something you’ve longed for.

WARNING(S): purely angst

WORD COUNT: 2,088

PAIRING: Wes Bennett & fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed! Also, Olivia Rodrigo has a hold on me bad rn. Inspired by 'Lacy'.

MASTERLIST

You couldn't pinpoint when exactly you let yourself be heartbroken for a boy, a boy who didn't even know just how much you longed to have his heart. To want him to see you and look at you like he did at Liz. Like you hung the stars in the sky. But he never did...he wouldn't cause his heart beat for her, and there was nothing you could do but let him go.

"What are you doing out here?" You look up to find Wes making his way over to you.

"Trying to understand why prom is considered this penultimate high school rite of passage..." You blow a raspberry.

"And?" Wes plops right on down beside you.

"It's not. If anything it's overhyped. I mean hours spent poring over makeup tutorials, fingering elegant ball gowns at the mall until you find the right one, and visualizing how the night will potentially play out. It's overwhelming. And don't get me started on the obnoxious public proposals in front of the whole school. What rite of passage is it? We're conditioned to obsess about how we look, how our hair is done, how our nails are shaped, and whether we'll have some eye candy on our arm when we walk through the front doors. They make it seem like if you don't attend you miss out. Well, I'm here...what am I missing?" You gesture to the double doors. Wes frowned, his head dipped as he looked over to meet your clearly broken expression. You were troubled, he could tell by the way you overthought about something, this something being prom.

"Can I give my two cents?" He wanted to test the waters. Not wanting to further ruin your already bad mood.

"Will it contradict my running argument about Prom?" Your voice comes out softer than you imagined it to.

"It might, but I won't if it'll upset you again." He admitted.

"You can proceed..." You mutter anxiously.

"I don't see it as this rite of passage okay? Coming to prom, I didn't have this structured idea in mind that I was gonna become this new person. If anything's overhyped it's thinking you have to have sex on this one night. Certainly not what I was aiming for tonight. If anything...I'm just happy we all got to be in the same room one last time. Things haven't been so great within the group, but tonight, for just this one night, we all let our guards down and are spending it together. We're surrounded by all our friends whom we love, and having a great night. Well, not everyone..." He smirked, nudging you with his elbow gently. You rolled your eyes at him. "You wanna tell me the real reason you're sitting out here alone and not inside." This makes you scoff in shock. You let your shoulders slouch forward in defeat.

Of course, he read right through me.

“What gave me away?” You hum in amusement.

“You’ve been planning for this night since second grade after your mom told you about it.”

Oh right. That she did.

“If we’re being honest about how this night has been for us.” You exhale deeply. You rub your hands up and down your calves. Your skin feels cold to the touch. “You may not have had a structured idea in mind, but I did. I played out this ideal visualization of how the night would potentially play out, but turns out obstructed ideas just stay that…silly little ideas.” You laugh out nervously. “It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows for me tonight, and it’s not going to be.”

“Can you tell me?” The edges of his mouth curled downward once more. You made it your goal to never have to see him frown again right then and there.

“No.” Your saddened smile was written with a taste of acceptance. Sitting with him, talking to him, and gracious for his attentiveness. The way he always listened and never interrupted you, or anyone for that matter. Made you realize that you’d never have his heart wholeheartedly, only momentarily.

“Why not?” He gave a shrug. The laugh he released weighed heavily against your ears.

“Cause it’d change everything.”

“Change everything? What do you mean?” His brows furrowed.

“N-Nothing.” You started fidgeting with your fingers. Finding it difficult to let your gaze fall on his this time.

“Hey, don’t do that.” He pushed. Not wanting you to close off on him.

“We should head back inside the group is probably wondering where we are?” You looked over your shoulder. Yet the grab of your shoulder brought your attention back onto him.

“What aren’t you telling me?” His brows were knitted in thought. Wondering what the hell you meant by it’d change everything.

“Nothing. I said everything I wanted to say.” You smile but it does nothing to convince him, especially with the bullshit of an answer you just gave him.

“Y/n, I’m serious-“

“Hey, you two. There you are, been looking all over for you!” Your heads whip over your shoulder. Liz standing against the pushed door. Her smile was as radiant and pretty as the white gown she dawned for this evening. The moonlight made her red hair stand out against her pale skin. She looked ethereal. Seeing her stand there, made you immediately realize the real reason you came out here in the first place. Your envy and admiration of her took control of your mind and if you stayed inside any longer than you did, you would have given into every impulsive decision, good or bad. You turn your head and let your eyes lock onto his. You hoped he hadn’t noticed the shift in your demeanor. The way your eyes lost their light in them. You forgot how to breathe for that mere second your eyes met. You would have risked it all. Confessed all your troubling insecurities and hopes and desires. Yet for the sake of your own sanity, for the sake of not wanting to get in between them, you looked away and averted your attention to the redhead waiting on you. You mustered up your courage and stood up.

“Hey, Libby Loo. Just needed some fresh air. It was getting kind of hot in there.”

“Oh tell me about it!” She agreed. You walked over to where she stood, taking over holding the door. “What were you two talking about?” You heard the underlying tone of her insecurities build up. You found it within the nervous laugh she emitted.

“Debate over whether prom is this rite of passage or a total waste of time.” It fell past your lips so easily, that it shocked you. Liz physically relaxed. The roll of her eyes made you ease up. She didn’t think you and Wes were having a moment just then. Phew.

“Of course you were. Well all-knowing, obviously a rite of passage, right?”

“Yeah…obviously, been planning for this since second grade. Not a waste of time…at all.” You smirk. You let your gaze linger back to Wes where he caught you in your own lie again. Shaken by his disappointment. You exchange spots with her. Liz now lingering out the door, and you, ready to run away again. You weren’t a stranger to her newfound affection for the jock standing a few feet away with his hands in his slacks. It took her long enough to fall for him, but Wes was willing to wait this long for her…and now he was finally getting her emotionally and physically. And you, you were losing everything you’ve never had a chance to have.

“I’m gonna head back inside now. Do you know if there’s still any punch left?” You begin to excuse yourself.

“I think one of the boys spiked it.” Liz made a face.

“Great…” You sighed. “Well, I’ll see you two in there.” You playfully nudge her, stepping past the threshold and beginning the dark trek to the gym.

“Hi…”

“Hi.”

You didn’t even want to spare them a second glance, knowing just how your heart would shatter in an instant and you knew you wouldn’t recover from it.

You let the quietness embrace you like a hug. It let you hear just how loud your thoughts were going. It gave you a moment to recollect yourself before you had to face everyone again and pretend that you weren’t in a demise because you didn’t go after what you wanted. You were about to turn the corner when the loud pull of the metal door opened behind you. You would have kept walking were it not for the rapid footsteps booking it down the hall. And you wouldn’t have frozen in place were it not for the exclaim of your name.

“Y/n!” Your breath hitched hearing his voice. “You didn’t turn around, too scared, not wanting to bear whatever he came after you to tell you. “You didn’t answer me. What would change?”

Your shoulders grew rigid and tense, then and only then did you slowly turn and face him. Expectedly and curious eyes he had.

His shoulders slumped seeing a tear fall down your cheek. He still pushed for an answer. He gives for anything really.

“What would change?”

Us.

You would have answered, you’d have given him an answer. You would have given him a reason, but your burden had walked in a minute after he did. You go to speak but your mouth stays open, at a loss for words, to cross the line of friendship you’ve been straddling for years. Wes follows your line of sight and there she is. Everything he’s ever wanted, right in front of him, yet as he looks back at you, you stare at her like she’s anything but his everything. Then you stare at him and it’s like he’s your…He knew that look, all too familiar of sporting it when he tried to help Liz get with Michael. A hopeless feeling that you can’t have the one person you want most. The frown happens before he speaks.

You pick up on the way the air feels a lot more tense. The way he straightens up and the shift in his eyes as he looks between you and Liz. The line was crossed and you wished to have stayed on the opposite side of it.

“Y/n…” He sighs heavily.

“Please don’t.” You give a tight-lipped smile. The tears spilling out faster than you can wipe them away. “Please don’t…I’m okay. I know…and I’m aware. So please for my sake just don’t.”

“Can I give my two cents?” He pleads.

“No.” You smile again. Shaking your head, closing yourself off, and wishing you could be under your bed covers right about now.

“I’m so sorry.” He says defeat was written over his face.

“You guys enjoy your night okay.” You nod and begin walking backwards.

“Y/n are you okay?” Liz finally walks over. Her concern warms you and makes you want to punch her in the face.

“Yeah Libby Loo, just feeling a bit under the weather. I think I'm gonna head on home.” You laugh out loud nervously. Still walking painfully slow, and backwards.

“Well hold on, we can give you a ride.” God you really wanted to punch her.

“No Libby it’s okay. I’ll make do. Really? I’ll be fine. Like always…” You say the last bit quietly, yet they don’t miss it. Wes looks on the verge of crying and Liz concerned about your well-being is starting to make you really feel sick.

“You sure?” She frowns. Not at all convinced with the way your smile isn’t even reaching your eyes anymore. You weren’t even hiding it.

“Y/n-“ Wes tried again. But you shake your head.

“You kids have fun okay.” This time your smile does reach your eyes and then you turn around and make your leave. You can’t even be mad at Liz because she didn’t do anything wrong and you hate her for it.

“Y/n!” Wes yells after you but you don’t react, nor do you turn around. The effect he has on you starts wearing off and the ache in your chest slowly diminishes into nothing the further you get from them. And you can’t even be mad about it.

“What did you do?” Liz smacked him. He didn’t even flinch. “She was fine a few minutes ago!”

“No…she wasn’t.” Wes watched solemnly as your figure finally rounded the corner and you were no longer in his sights.

[darlin-collins]

Mmm I love angst :)) Is that something that should flag concern? Possibly. Am I going to address that? Nope!

Anyways, could I please get CFHINUZ from the angst alphabet 🥀 for Claire and Ranger? thank you!

marry me rn./p

C - crying (do they cry easily? what causes them to crack? how do they cry?)

claire is hard to cry, imagining losing someone dear to em would break her, it's mostly silent tears w some sobs here n there w the occasional break down

as for ranger,is easily to for their eyes to water,they can even do it at command, but you won't catch them dead crying,lying to them will make them cry for obvious reasons ,if they do cry , they're a messy crier

F - fights (how do they argue? how quickly do they start an argument? are they patient with their S/O's feelings?)

Claire is louns and demanding and blaming whoever she's arguing with,she doesn't start a fight fast (unless it's w knight) bit if it does break out it's a disaster,she tries to talk first tho,she is patient w ranger's feelings

ranger,is the "hoarse voice,red eyes" kind , they also don't start a fight easy,but they are not very patient

H - heartbroken (have they had their heartbroken before? does their S/O have the power to break them?)

Claire,no,not romantically at least, she had the occasional situationship here n there nothing broken worthy tho, when she's mates w ranger theu can break her obv

ranger, losing Izaiah was their breaking point, they're never became the same after it, Claire can break them but it won't be as bad

I - Insecurities

Claire,yes,her scars ,she tells herself that she hides them from others but deep down she's insecure about them

ranger,their personality,how they became after losing Izaiah and regaining their memories,they hate themselves, slightly

N - nightmare (what's their worst fear?)

Claire,not being strong enough to protect the people she loves (she still feels guilty that knight got injured that day when they get a flare up or limp early in the morning, knowing full well that is the like,the only price to bay, that that's the best outcome,that if she wasn't there they might be dead, that they're still alive because of her,yet she feels guilty that she didn't provent more from happening)

ranger, vampires they don't show it,and definitely can't say it or knight wiuld literally skin them alive and hurt evie,and they're such a hypocrite for being friends w her,but they don't mind being a hypocrite for her,vampires makes them uneasy after Izaiah was killed by one

U - urges (what's something they want but cannot have? or something they lost and can't get back.)

while Claire is happy w her life rn , she does yarn for her simple "just a pack member" life,no alpha, almost no responsibility, being the reckless little girl she was again

ranger, trust,they can't turst again,not fully.

Z - zero (what would they do if they lost everything?)

Claire would probably kill herself after a long depressive episode of thinking that it was her fault and she wasnt enough to stop it

ranger already lost everything before and picked back up,a think they can do it again

[according2thelore]

Your beta Dean idea has me FERAL. I desperately need more if you're willing to provide more ideas. THE INSECURITY. THE PURE HURT/COMFORT POTENTIAL. UGH.

Also omega "about a boy" Dean and alpha sam? I NEED. I'm definitely going to check and see if anyone has written any fics about that because UGH. SO MUCH POTENTIAL. If you ever decide to expand on that idea please tag me I'd love to read more about it!

Now I'm even thinking about the es/ls verse and how abo would effect THAT already messy dynamic. Two alpha sams butting heads?(and making the deans very protective/horny) Two omega deans trying to mother the sams?(and making the sams very competitive and horny) Pure chaos lol

Love hearing you abo rants because I too am a big abo fan

Also omega lactating Dean? Yes please. I mean *cough cough* nothing who said that?

EEEE thank you!!!! i love talking about all of them and will do so right now on this ask 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ (this ask is in reference to this recent ask here!)

EXACTLY!!! beta!dean&alpha!sam is so good bc not only does it undermine dean's position in their established hierarchy, i think it makes sam's willing emotional/fraternal submission to him very good and delightful!!!!

and as mentioned in the previous ask, and as you've addressed here, the POTENTIAL IS INSANE!!!!! beta!dean expecting sam to actually and genuinely leave him behind any second to be with an omega, because dean literally cannot give sam the "normal" that he wants so badly. dean crosses his fingers and buys lube and imitation omega slick. he has to mix them together because sam the look on sam's face when he found the original omega slick bottle in dean's back was enough to terrify dean into never bringing it up again.

he won't let sam touch him without an hour of prep beforehand, almost sticking his whole hand up his ass just to make sure he's lubed/loose enough to be "omega" passable. sam tries to initiate morning sex one time and dean flips the fuck out on him, biting back furious and exhausted tears in the bathroom as he fucks himself back on four fingers.

dean flirts wildly because it's not like it matters, and when sam--one too many beers in--corners dean into their booth at the bar and coats dean in scent, teeth closing around the slanted muscle in his neck, dean's agog. sam growls at people that get close, and dean is equally blissed out and heartbroken, because sam is treating him like an actual mate. that's nice. it's really fucking nice.

dean won't let sam mate him. he knows sam'll regret it. he knows sammy loves him, but there's gonna be a nice, small, wet omega that'll walk into a diner or a grocery store or a gas station and something in sam will click and he'll start to resent dean or even worse he'll stay out of obligation.

sam thinks part of dean still doesn't trust him. after all they've been through, sam knows his brain must be scrambled eggs, and being mated to that can't be easy. or maybe dean doesn't trust sam's biology to not turn on him. he hates his presentation, wishes he was an omega or beta, like dean clearly wishes he was.

GAHHHHHH ABOUT A BOY SALMONDEAN GRAHHHHHH

because like !!!!!! fourteen/fifteen-year-old omega!dean who's all big eyes and sharp tongue and he's never been this small in his life!!!!! to sam, even though he was an omega, he was larger than life. he was protection and safety and home, and his scent alone makes sam break the bathroom door straight off of the wall.

while dean is telling him what happened, sam is slowly inching closer and the entire room reeks bc sam desperately wants to SO BAD scent dean before anyone else can smell him like this because this is a BABY!!!!!!! AND PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE WEIRD ABOUT HIM!!!!!!! not sam though, he's perfectly chill, just look at the wavelength he's vibrating at rn, he's doing great.

dean's pissed when he picks up on what's happening bc "don't patronize me man, c'mon!" but grudgingly lets sam rub his wrists all over dean's hair/neck when sam points out the potential security risks.

dean shivers when they get outside, and sam turns right back around and comes back out of the motel room with three of his own flannels and a jacket, just to give dean some variety. he looks confused, like he's not sure why he's doing it, and shrugs, wide-eyed, when dean yells at him for it.

(dean ends up picking one of sam's oldest flannels, by the way, and the collar is so tall on dean that he's swallowed by it, and can't stop the quiet purr that rumbles out of his throat as they drive. sam almost swerves them into oncoming traffic.)

they go to fight the witch and sam is practically feral, just snarls and teeth and eyes so dark they look demonic. he breaks the fender off a car in the yard with his bare hands. he throws hansel against the ceiling. dean goes down and sam is crouching over him, and no one knows what the fuck to do bc dean is swearing and cursing and has never seen sam like this ever, has never seen an alpha do this.

the reversal spell doesn't work right away, and they trudge back to their motel after letting tina go. tina--also an omega--doesn't affect sam at all. he shrugs and shakes her hand and offers her money, which she gratefully takes. when they finally get into the motel room, sam keeps presenting dean with clothes to make a nest with, and dammit--fine, okay, it's nice, dean's man enough to admit that, as he grouchily punches sam's clothes into submission on his bed.

ES LS VERSE LET'S DISCUSS!!!! YOU ARE SO CORRECT!!

omega!LS!Dean gets furious when omega!ES!Dean very demurely sidles up to LS!Sam, nudges under his chin in what could very well be familial but it's NOT!!!! LS!Dean goes into hyperdrive trying to provide/protect/prove himself to BOTH sams because ES!Dean smells fresh and looks fantastic and his joints don't creak and LS!Dean's always kind of been a broken omega so who the fuck would pick him over this guy?

ES!Sam cuts his finger on a ceremonial dagger while cataloguing one of the storage rooms and LS!Dean swoops in and cares for it and ES!Dean is incandescent with rage because !!!!! that's HIS job !!!!!!

ES!Dean praising LS!Sam for finding some lore and ES!Sam locks in at a heretounforseen-by-mankind degree and pulls out the most obscure hard-to-find lore because yes !!! praise me as well !!!! and now the sams are caught in a death spiral of trying to provide for the deans because their bodies aren't used to there being a competing alpha that guns straight for dean every time.

LS!Dean's jealousy and hurt kickstarting his heat to pull his mate in, and now LS!Sam & ES!Sam are fighting to the death in the hallway because ES!Sam KNOWS the smell of his distressed brother in heat and there's some foreign alpha that wants him while LS!Sam is just matematematemate and completely senseless to anything else.

ES!Dean tries to step in and knock them out of it but they're both also technically fighting over him, and his legs get all wobbly and weak and he's pouring sweat and leaking slick like a goddamn fountain and it ramps the sams up even MORE because now there's TWO distressed/horny omegas and they both smell like "MINE"

and ES!Sam is kind of flabbergasted because LS!Sam has been a wilting flower the whole time he's been here but now he's literally trying to rip ES!Sam's throat out with his teeth because protecting dean is one of the only things LS!Sam has no qualms/morals/hesitation about. he does not fuck around about his mate, and i think this would give him more grudging respect for LS!Sam because he's 230 pounds of a wall of muscle and--for the first time since this whole shitshow started--actually acts like an alpha.

(one of the deans later getting knocked up and no one knows which sam is the father)

and yes, while we're here, i think omega dean lactating is kind of great. it's just his biology kicking into overdrive and trying to be useful/take care of sam in a way he couldn't when he was a child. dean's humiliated and frustrated but like...when sam finds out he can't stop looking at dean's chest JUST SAYING

thank you SO MUCH for this ask!!!! if you couldn't tell, i love and adored this one, and love getting to ramble about omegaverse samdean for 45 minutes 🙂‍↕️ <3

-lizzy

[starheirxero]

Xero…Xero heLP- THESE LAST FEW LORE VIDEOS HAVE RENDERED ME SPEECHLESS-

I AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND CLAWING OFF MY WALLS LIKE A WILD ANIMAL-

I swear to god, I don't have words to describe, what this arc is making me feel/pos-

Moon is seemingly completely losing his grasp on reality, causing him to become more violent. He's becoming reckless, because nothing feels real anymore. He doesn't care anymore, if he's playing the villain, and has actively decided to lean into this role, as a matter of keeping control!

Sun is breaking down, because he lost his brother. Again. The Moon in front of him is nothing more than a shell of who he used to be, and he's struggling to keep his head above water.

Monty is planning on bringing old Moon back! I adore old Moon, but I care for New Moon just as much. What will happen to him, once his old self is back? Will he be trapped? Will he die?? Killing him would be unbelievably cruel, especially in his current state!

EARTH IS GODDAMN KIDNAPPED AGAIN- Another thing to point out to it, is what was said. Eclipse wondered, how she can still be so kind and positive. Earth has threatened Ruin and Bloodmoon to kill them, if she has to. If she were to kill them in self defense, I worry, what it'll do to her mental state!

And Oh god, our two villains, Jesus christ…

Ruin is Ruin, as he is. He fascinates me-

Bloodmoon, on the other hand, is simply heartbreaking. He's actively talking and arguing with himself, because his brother isn't there to reassure him anymore! He's desperately trying to fill the silence…

Another thing I found really interesting was Puppet's talk with Foxy! What makes a person? What makes a creature? What makes one good, and what makes one bad?

It's just so fascinating, I don't even have words!

This is, by far, one of my favorite arcs yet!!! It's so twisted, it's so intense, it's everything I could wish for!!!

-Stardust

YWHQYEYAYAYYAYYAA!!!!!!!! IT'S SO MANY LAYERS OF JUST, HOLY SHIT.

The whole. vague hand motions. Everything with Moon has me intrigued beyond belief but also SO HEARTBROKEN ON SO MANY LEVELS. The one time he absolutely needs his family most, he's lost all of them AND he'll potentially be killed ?!?!! I'm personally hinging my hope that it'll be more of a merge than killing one to replace the other. but I'm also terribly worried that, instead of being leveled out, it just makes everything so much worse HDJSBD

AND WITH EARTH, GOSH, YEAH. I know that yesterday's episode had a fascinating title and I haven't watched it yet, but it has me WORRIEDDD 😭 Exactly like you said, even if its in self defense that she kills someone, I am soso worried about what that'd do to her mentally.

And stars yea the two villains rn.... Like u said, Ruin is fascinating as per usual, but Bloodmoon is just out here KILLIN' ME ☹️ He's been trying his best to cope with his twin's death and it is just DEVASTATING 2 me ☹️☹️☹️ AND YEA OMS DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FOXY N PUPPET'S CONVO I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ON IT FOR REAL AHAKAHSKD

It almost makes me think of how Earth almost always call Bloodmoon some variant of "little creature", how that may make it easier for her to hurt and/or kill him. Yk?? Ahsjsbd its all just SO FUN. I am frolicking around HEJAHAJ

[jaegerisim]

It's exaggerating because "handing out stickers" will make a person look more evil than he is than just the fact that his friends own them. Rachel and Moti are influencers who were the ones posting with the zionism is sexy stickers. They posted the stickers being sticked on walls on their ig story but they didn't get half the lashings that Noah did. Noah didn't post shit that show the stickers. Again, I don't agree with him but if you really care, then get your facts straight and give the same energy to Rachel and Moti who are definitely much more evil than Noah is and if you aren't in the twt fandom, even st stans who hate Noah to death agree that these two people especially Moti contributed to the Israel propaganda indoctrination of Noah since he never spoke any shit about politics before the birthright trip. Moti is posting much worse stuff rn both on ig and twitter, he' an influencer but he doesn't get half the lashings when he deserves it too

searched up who moti is. u r talking about moti ankari, aren't u? he's some model or fashion designer and there were rumours of him and noah dating... never cared for the guy and legit dgaf abt who "rachel" is lol

do u know why noah got more consequences? cuz he is more famous. he has millions of YOUNG followers (many of them jewish and/or queer) who admire him. "moti and rachel" don't have half as many followers as him. he was an idol to many, including me.

I went to my birthright trip too, I am not a zionist. in fact, I came back horrified and distraught. kids begging for scraps in the street and mothers looking at me in horror for being jewish. i was heartbroken to see what my ppl were doing. i donated, i bought them food, gave them some of my clothes, tried to show them that these monsters didn't represent my faith.

If noah let the birthright trip brainwash him then he is stupid and dumb. just bc he went to 5 star resort and didn't see the horrible things Israel was doing well, then...

I hope he grows and realizes that what he is doing is racist and hurtful. i really hope he does, but by then the damage will already be done. millions of Palestinians will be slaughtered or displaced. lives stolen and dreams shattered. the damage would already be done.

[strongheartneteyam]

[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to @cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems 

Part 4

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: sexual language, angst, past relationship trauma, touching in a sexual way, commitment issues, mentions of sex, trust issues, neteyam is head over heels for reader, fluff, a bit more about when neteyam and reader would see each other around before the beach party, mentions of drinking too much, reader is allergic to romantic feelings (but it's actually just her trauma talking), confessions of feelings, yearning, sexual tension, some funny vibes, heartbroken neteyam. Not sure if there's more. If there is, pls, tell me <3

Hi, hunny bunnies 💕 I'm really tired and sleepy rn (as I always am, right? lol) but I got inspo and finally got a break from my writer's block so I just rushed to wash the dishes as fast as I could and as soon as I finished it I ran to finish writing this chapter (a part of it had been sitting on my Google Docs for a while lol) and now I'm posting for you guys 🥰 Hope y'all like it and I'm so sorry for any mistakes or some parts that might not make total sense (if there are any lol who knows). I'm so sleepy that idk if I'll be able to proofread it completely now. But I will soon! Leaving comments down below will make this writer as happy as a kitten drinking milk teehee 😸 I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH kiss kiss ‼️💌

Slightly proofread.

Part 3: I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

𓇼

My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

Midnight Rain (Taylor Swift)

𓇼

You woke up with a ray of sun shining way too bright directly at your eyes. You realized with a startle that you were in Neteyam’s arms and as you slowly became aware of your surroundings and your memory became clear… oh, shit… You had sex with him last night. No, no! Why did you drink those three glasses of champagne last night? Everytime you drank too much you ended up doing something stupid. Of course last night would not be an exception.

You could feel his slender, soft but toned legs intertwining with your much smaller ones. You felt his warmth, his strong arms holding your tiny in comparison figure, helping you stay warm even if the ocean breeze was chilly so early in the morning in Awa'atlu.

Neteyam's heart was big, very big when compared to the one of a human male, so, as he peacefully slept while embracing you, you could hear his heartbeat extremely clearly. It was soothing, though. A little louder than the human guys you had been intimate with previously and had slept by their side but it was calming. His embrace felt comfortable, like a place you could… call home…?

You felt a stab in your heart. Anxiety. Nervousness. Almost like a fight or flight feeling. No, you could not be getting attached.

His scent was good, cozy and you could easily get used to having it all over you, to wake up to that, to smell it on your clothes so very often.

And that thought scared you. Saying you had commitment issues was an understatement.

You felt Neteyam moving behind you. He was slowly waking up.

"Morning, oeyä sevin syulang" (my beautiful flower) His voice was hoarse as he had just woken up and he had a heavy na'vi accent when pronouncing the "R" in "morning". His accent lured you in way more than you liked to admit. 

You hated how much Neteyam could make you feel vulnerable. You did not like the feeling of vulnerability.

Everytime you let a guy get on your vulnerable side before, you ended up sobbing while sitting on the floor, listening to a stupid, sad break up song and, sometimes, stuffing your stomach with chocolate, ice cream or pizza. And that was when you were able to eat. Sometimes the lump in your throat was so big you couldn't even swallow without being reminded of the pungent ache in your heart.

"Morning." You said nervously. It sounded dry. You did not mean to sound rude or distant but you ended up sounding exactly like that.

“Did you sleep well, tawtute?” Neteyam asked, his eyes still half lidded and he was smiling tenderly at you

Damn, you had to admit he was freaking cute when all sleepy like this. Just like a house cat waking up from a good deep sleep…

Ok, stop it!

“Uh… yes. Yes, I did sleep well. Thank you.” God, how awkward was that?

It seemed like Neteyam was too mesmerized by you to even notice your awkwardness.

“You’re beautiful. My sevin tawtute.” he said

“Wait, what?! Yours?!” you protested, a frown on your face

“Yeah.” Neteyam smiled, a bit sheepishly “Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” his expression looked like he was being sincere

“It’s okay.” it was all you said

“I wanna tell you something.” Neteyam said, smiling softly though he was afraid of your reaction once he said what he wanted to say

“What in hell could he want to tell me? Oh, God…” you thought

“I…” he hesitated for a while. Was he getting shy? “I’m in love with you, (y/n).”

“You’re what?!” You sat up on the hammock in a swift motion

“See?! I should have never come here to meet him in the first place. That’s what you get for following your instincts and not your rational brain.” those words ran through your anxious mind

“Hey.” Neteyam said as he sat up too, trying to calm you down as you truly seemed alarmed. He smiled but you could tell there was tension all over him too. “Hear me out, please.” He pleaded. His tone was as calm as he could manage to keep it. “I just didn’t want to tell you because I could tell you’re afraid of falling in love. I’ve heard you talking to your girl friends about boys, about your lame ex boyfriends and how they made you want nothing to do with relationships anymore.”

“Were you spying on me?” You said, incredulous

“No, tawtute!” Neteyam chuckled at your accusation “It’s not like we’ve never been close to each other before the party. I know you’ve seen me before when you came to my tribe to conduct your scientific researches. I always made an effort to be around you, I just never approached you but I never tried to hide the fact that I had a crush on you. I was always staring at you. And I know you noticed!” He chuckled “One time you caught me staring from afar and met my gaze but you soon looked away and after that I started feeling like you were avoiding looking in my eyes again. Was I right?” he questioned, with his brows furrowed but he still didn’t seem to feel defeated. Even after you had reacted like you were afraid of his words, Neteyam still had his lips curled up in a slight smile.

You looked at him with eyes that let him know you were trying to conceal your embarrassment. You did know Neteyam had noticed you had been trying to avoid him at all costs as soon as you noticed he seemed to be attracted to you but having him throw that fact in your face felt surprisingly uncomfortable and your cheeks did get a little pinkish.

“Maybe I was.”

“Of course you were. Everybody noticed. Lo’ak even made fun of me for that.” he shook his head from side to side while chuckling at the thought of his younger brother teasing him

"I'm sorry." You couldn't help but laugh a little bit

"Don't apologize. It's fine. I like a challenge." He smirked at you in a flirtatious way

"Neteyam, I think we should-"

"Just let me tell you everything I need to, please!" He interrupted, almost begging you

You sighed "Okay…" You sounded tired and a little annoyed

"After I got a good chance to talk to you last night, at the party, I fell for you. Hard. It's not just a crush anymore." His pretty face looked happy while he confessed his feelings for you, even if there was a little bit of angst inside his chest "I didn't bring you here to my hammock just to fuck you. I brought you here to make love to you. It wasn't just sex for me. I wanna ask you to be my mate. I hope you don't run away scared now… 'Cause that would kill me, my sevin tawtute. You're so perfect... I wanted you last night and I know I will want you forever. Please, please, let me be your mate. Or your husband, as you humans say. I know it's unexpected and it seems too soon, but this is our way. My people don't necessarily have to know someone for a long time before choosing them to be their mate." He explained to you "I don't want to ever be away from you. I couldn't. Not now that I have talked to you, laughed with you, laid next to you…" He brushed his warm hand through the outer part of your thigh, moving it upwards "Felt your pussy around my cock, so soft and inviting, so warm and wet inside, all for me..." Neteyam's breath was a bit labored, his hand still touching your skin, while he whispered those dirty words to you, remembering what you two had done while it was still eclipse "Please, be mine." 

"It'd be great." You said. Neteyam smiled widely, not being able to grasp the real meaning of your words "But it could never work. Not between you and me. Not between a na'vi and a human. I'm so sorry. I have to go. My friends must be worried about me. I didn't tell Adeline where I was going before I left last night. She must be worried sick. See you around. I guess..." You said, as you got out of Neteyam's big hammock, as fast as you could, feeling the warm beach sand covering your toes as soon as your feet hit the ground, leaving Neteyam confused, still trying to wake up from his wishes and touch reality.

He knew you were afraid of committing to a lifelong relationship but he thought that maybe you would say "yes" to what he was proposing to you. Or that you would at least ask for some time to think. Neteyam did not think you would reject him so fast and bluntly like that. Especially since he was used to having girls crushing on him and throwing themselves at him all the time. Not only na'vi girls, there were many human girls who tried to seduce him as well but even though he did feel attracted to some of them, he felt that there was always something missing. Neteyam did value personality a lot, even if he was just going to mess around with the girl, and none of the other human girls had a personality that he truly liked. But you did. And of course you would be the one to reject him. His ego was screaming like a spoiled little brat at that moment as he laid back at his hammock, throwing his body with full force against its surface and exhaling strongly in frustration.

There was a lump in his throat and his heart was hurting like never before. No girl had ever made Neteyam feel that way. All he wanted was for you to accept him, to want to be with him.

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003 (you left a cute comment on the last chapter so I figured you'd like to be tagged ♡ lemme know if I'm right in the comments pls lol)

@lala-1516 (you also left a nice comment on the last chapter so I'm tagging you baby <3 lemme know if u want me to keep tagging u)

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa