#i am going to lose my goddamn marbles holy FUCK

[braisedhoney]

btw nobody will ever understand me the way the people screaming in the tags of my doc ock narry post understand me. YOU GUYS. YOU GET IT. DON’T WORRY I’M MAKING MORE. BLESS.

[t0ast-ghost]

Welcome back to me slowly losing all the marbles in my Star Trek infested head! This is my thoughts on episode nine (Miri):

- *sighs* I miss McCoy…

- OMG MCCOY!!! He don’t need to be here, he’s just standing

- literally sooo normal about them being in the same episode together again

- Jim: picks up random object for no reason. Ah yes give it to Spock

Spock: curious what do I do with this? Ah yes hand it to Bones he’ll know

Bones: what the fuck? Guess I’ll look at this now

they are all sharing a braincell in this moment

- OOPS BONES GOT TACKLED

- Kirk not afraid to slap a bitch (multiple times)

- “of course somebody will fix it” Bones comforting the guy who just attacked him, he’s so fucking caring wtf

- HES DEAD JIM MOMEN- oh never mind he said “it’s dead” false alarm

- goddamn those boots (I want a pair so bad)

- this

- uh oh he’s sick? Oh they’re all sick. But not Spock

- “the bugs have no appetite for green blood” “being red blooded obviously has its disadvantages”

- “spare me the analysis, Mr. Spock, please” THEY ARE LITERALLY MARRIED

- Bones getting called old once again

- the folder against his lip in thought

- NO SHE DOES NOT LIKE HIM

- “eternal childhood” sounds like Peter Pan to me idk maybe

- KIRK BACK THE FUCK UP

- idc if she’s 1000 years older what the fuck are you doing?

- okay I like this group of kids the costumes are well done

- Kirk getting attacked. yippee sounds play.

- “and I do want to go back to the ship, captain” then they smile at each other WHAT

- Hehehe

- “you two can recreate the thinking” bones gives him the ‘who the fuck do you think I am face’

- shittiest photo I’ve ever taken but-

- Jim hugging Janice was honestly kinda sweet

- Jim yelling “where’s Janice” was done so well

- JIM ABOUT TO THROW A CHILD

- Jim your speeches don’t work here

- THE OLDEST CHILD LOOKS LIKE TOMMYINNIT HOLY- I am so sorry

- “I’m a grup… and I want to help you” well delivered

- “bickering is pointless” Spock is sad to see his friend slowly becoming more agressive and scared- I- they- I love them

- MCCOY NO no!

- thought he yelled “fuck” but no just “Spock” I think bones should be allowed to say fuck

- Kirk’s ripped sleeve is so fucking slutty

That’s where I’m leaving this one cause the ending bridge discussion once again makes me so uncomfortable…

All in all really loved this episode. Yes it was cause I got Bones, Spock, and Kirk.

Other episode reviews :)

[cupcakegal25]

so i beat totk

and holy fucking SHIT it was good!!!!! i actually kept a record of my thoughts as i played it, so i'm gonna be posting that now just for funsies. major major MAJOR spoilers under the cut!!!!!!

RAURU OCARINA OF TIME??!?!?!?

why do i have to do the wholeass tutorial with no shirt. completely tits out

purah :eye: :eye:

love my horsies

2 eponas [accidentally summoned epona before linking stable accounts]

damn we were right about the time travel [dragon tear 1]

TEBA THE ELDER?!??!?!?!????!

the flying ship is vah medoh idiots /hj

revali’s gale 2 electric boogaloo [tulin's tornado]

damn is this what it would be like to fight the blights with the champions because if so :sob: :sob: :sob:

if revali finds out about this his impostor syndrome will only get worse istg

SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES SAGES

SAGE OF TIME ZELDA MY FUCKGINH BELOFVED

what were the original sages named please

HOLY FUCKING BINGLE PHANTOM TULIN

ring :o

frozen lookin ass cutscene

REVALI’S LANDING (this is your fault hope)

great eagle bow……

did link just give the champion’s weapons back goddamn

VOW OF TULIN SAGE OF WIND <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

is sidon gonna have to sneak out to help me with this /hj

zelda has parents now love that for her <3 [rauru and sonia]

i was heading for gerudo town and now i’m in kakariko i do not know how this happened please send help

CHIEF PAYA???!?!?!??!??!??!?

made it to zora’s domain on accident. welp

WHERE DID MIPHA G O GET MY GIRL B A C K HERE [sidon statue]

WHO THE FUCK IS SIDON GETTING MARRIED TO WHAT

i would like to give sidon a hug please and thank you

WATER MANIPULATION SIDON GO AWOOGA

KING SIDON KING SIDON KING SIDON [dorephan and muzu]

sidon trauma arc [mipha come home :(]

ma’am i knew mipha [he doesn’t want to lose anyone else]

THERE SHE IS THERE’S MY GIRL [mipha]

sidon sage of water please? please nintendo? please sidon sage of water?

oh god oh fuck SIDON LOOK OUT [sludge like]

what the FUCK is up with the gravity here what the hell

oh god oh fuck water temple (i kinda figured this was coming but still)

CHAMPION PICTURE IN MY H O U S E THANK YOU KASS

link and zelda roommates :)

mucktorok is dancin

wtf is that a shark?

holy shit that’s like a zant looking death [mucktorok]

thank you sidon for my life [water shield]

wait that mask looks like vah ruta. wait

ma’am mipha is right there [my kin etc]

secret stone is kinda a dumb name i think

that’s LITERALLY the lightscale trident MA’AM [sage of water’s weapon]

i still love sage of time zelda. btw

dear god i NEED to know these people’s names this is becoming SUCH a problem

gonna take a detour to look for the dragon’s tears i think

sidon sage of water!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

i fucking adore him so so so much i love him SO much

another disney lookin ass cutscene but not as pronounced

KING SIDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i’m so proud of my boy

vow of sidon sage of water………

i love dorephan’s hat it looks silly

well guess i’m doing the gerudo quest last cause here i am in goron city

probably for the best given. history (thunderblight) (riju I’m sorry)

yunobo what the FUCK are you doing

i’m sorry i hate this outfit also what the hell

god daruk would be so upset :(

well this seems. bad [yunobo being mean]

oh yeah that’s really not good

CLEARLY NOT HIMSELF JHGKLASJGLKJAG [boss subtitle]

goodbye ugly mask!

did she just trap us in the cave with this stupid fucking rock [zelda and marbled rock roast]

oh it’s not just daruk's protection again that’s interesting! [yunobo’s charge]

yeah i one million percent guarantee that that isn’t zelda

what the FUCK am i looking at

moragia??? alright

god that was HARD to control what the fuck [wing]

holy shit the atmosphere in here is INCREDIBLE [death mountain crater]

damn is this dungeon going to be underground instead of in the sky? swag

woah the fire temple is the gorondia that i’ve heard about in side quests? pog

oh this is really interesting! big spirit tracks vibes [mine carts]

three whole boss fights in this section wow [yunobo, moragia, marbled gohma]

GOHMA?!?!??!???!??!?!??!

there she goes! why was the second phase easier than the first though that’s my main question

alright so the masks on the sages are definitely the divine beasts

i should wear my vah naboris mask for the last one lmao

yunobo is confused. dw bro i have played many games in this series and also seen two other cutscenes nearly identical to this

wait are the vas the same for the sages and their descendants and thus the champions. wait

well not the sage of water but that just supports my argument more i think. mipha voice actress real?

how did zelda fucking GET here how many fucking fireproof elixirs did she need to USE [fire temple]

elixir wears off as the sage is doing his little speech and zelda bursts into flames lmfao

hi it’s me, the swordsman link. nice to meet you [gorons will help swordsman named link]

daruk would be so proud of yunobo and mipha would be so proud of sidon and i guarantee urbosa would be so proud of riju (i haven’t gotten there yet) but revali would just be really jealous of tulin LMAO

yay sage of fire yunobo!!!!!!!!!! i like daruk better i’m sorry

AW FISTBUMB THAT’S SO CUTE FUCK YEAH

i know it’s just the secret stone but yunobo fucking looks like he’s on fire gkhlsakgjlagk [giving the vow]

wait this is on my thumb? that’s gonna leave a finger leftover what the hell [rings/vows]

i’m gonna like recruit riju and then all of us are going to storm hyrule castle together somehow LMAO

oh shit the rock roast was made of gloom? that makes sense actually

i love the gorons :D

BLUDO NO YOU’RE GOING TO THROW YOUR BACK OUT AGAIN [yunobo’s apology]

vow of yunobo sage of fire :D

actually fucking going to gerudo town know istg

slightly untrue actually i’m going to make a detour to activate the last three towers but two of them are on the way so it’s probably fine [forest, gerudo, wasteland]

rauru knows ganondorf is evil and is keeping him close to keep an eye on him so he’s already many many steps ahead of the oot king

also did no one notice how ganondorf was commanding the moldugas in the last cutscene. what

alright made it to kara kara bazaar! how the FUCK am i supposed to get to gerudo town though

also thank fucking god they put a shrine here i Need it

these guys think they’re gonna be liked enough to be allowed into gerudo town. They Won’t

okay thank you tulin for helping me get here i still have no idea where i’m going but i can work with it thank you

OH FUCK GIBDOS. TERRIFYING

going to avoid fighting those at all costs i think! Yikes:tm:

made it to gerudo town after many many detours! hooray!

wait hold on where IS everyone

THERE’S A GIBDO IN THE TOWN

okay made it to a. guard. this makes sense

alright so there’s people behind this wall but i cannot get in i am not allowed

where’s the dialogue option to tell this guard i’m nonbinary /hj

i have broken into the sanctuary and i think i’m gonna die

BULIARA DEFENDS ME???? AIGHT

okay heading out to find riju my beloved <3

PATRICIA!!!!!!!!!!

oh she grew up so pretty i’m so proud of her

yay she did it yay!

oh god that’s viscerally horrifying jesus christ [gibdo swarming kara kara bazaar]

oh that’s AWFUL i HATE the way they spawned

we did it yay!!!

that’s probably not actually zelda lbr

alright I’m back i was busy cooking

sage riju let’s fucking goooooo

just realized this is a new ganondorf (unless this takes place after fsa) absolutely wild we have had three of them and like ~20 links and zeldas

okay i’m as prepared as i can be i think let’s go

terrible horrible fucked up i hate it [gibdos]

oh god oh fuck oh shit she’s so COOL [riju]

alright i was terrible at that! fantastic [defending gerudo town]

whatever at least i won

ooh mural? let’s take a look

just realized i completely forgot about akkala lemme activate that tower

alright got sidetracked into doing a thing for josha. fought a frox. terrifying shit

but i made it here to the great abandoned central mine

why are there people here

oh that bitch is DEFINITELY a yiga

okay that’s an interesting new power [autobuild]

don’t wanna do this for them but here goes

alright, who’s the “master”

MASTER KOHGA??????

oh my god he fell into a pit maybe he’s been alive this WHOLE TIME

I WAS RIGHT

i cannot fucking believe this shit i’m so happy about it

great twist actually i deadass wasn’t expecting it

oh i love that so much

man are you planning on ripping my arm off. probably yes actually

alright boss time!

done! god that was so fun

i hope there aren’t any more misunderstandings in regards to his death though that would suck *cough @ofstormsandfire's absolutely fantastic fic no one ever mentions fear cough*

HGKLSAJGLKASG JUST FLIES OFF THAT’S SO FUNNY

alright that was a great detour and i am very happy i did it

back to josha!

i. completely forgot about faron. just a minute

climbed up totori rock. mistakes were made

back to riju. that puzzle was way too fuckin annoying [red pillar riddle]

ooh temple on the ground?

lightning temple… interesting. wasn’t sure if it would be lightning temple or thunder temple (maybe like sand or desert but i didn’t think so cause that didn’t seem like it would be a fitting sage title for riju)

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT [queen gibdo]

am i just going straight into the boss fight??? no dungeon??? what the hell

ohhhhh it retreated. so i do still have a dungeon!

finally made it into this fucking place!

five bucks says this place is the token creepy dungeon. should’ve made that bet earlier tbh

oh that voice sounds JUST like urbosa holy shit

i like how the rooms in this place have like. names and stuff

alright boss time!

OH GOD THAT DID SO MUCH DAMAGE [queen gibdo]

holy shit this is gonna be a ROUGH one

FINALLY that took me 30 goddamn minutes

just realized i forgot to put on the vah naboris mask. oh well

ooh pretty earring

so the only ring missing is my middle finger. sure wonder why that is /s

oh man am i finally gonna be allowed in gerudo town without crossdressing? swag!

vow of riju sage of lightning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alright, let’s go talk to purah. after we check in with her i’ll probably go looking for the rest of the memories

why is there a blood moon in the middle of the day. that seems really bad

okay time for dragon tears!

SONIA NO [sonia gets stabbed]

god that’s gotta be AWFUL for zelda since now she’s lost 3 separate moms :( [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia]

oh god he looks damn near identical to demise [secret stone ganondorf]

oh fuck lynels look so terrifying now i hope i never ever have to fight one

thank you zelda for having braincells and leaving

rauru going to his death a better father than rhoam EVER was [zelda telling rauru about dehydrated ganondorf]

FI!!!! [fi chiming]

zelda??? zelda honey??? what are you doing?????  [dragon tear 11]

zelda??? Is that you??? [light dragon]

ZELDA NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [dragon tear 12]

god fuck I’m actually crying

heading to korok forest. i fucking hate this

oh jeez what’s up with the koroks? what’s up with the DEKU TREE?

FUCK GLOOM HANDS

i do not know how i killed them honestly

what the fuck PHANTOM GANON

okay that’s cool as fuck thank you totk for bringing back multiple great characters/enemies

alright i’ve got the master sword and i’m sobbing my eyes out thanks nintendo!

fucked around for a SUBSTANTIAL period of time i’m going to finally do the hyrule castle thing now i think

WHOEVER THAT IS SHUT YOUR SLUTTY MOUTH I KNOW BETTER YOU AREN’T MY GIRL [zelda voice]

i hate this so much i hate this soooo much stop looking like my girl and summoning monsters and let me fucking kill you please god

yknow this cutscene would probably hit different if i didn’t already do the dragon’s tears [sanctum cutscene]

alright i died to the first hit which is just excellent

FRIENDS! :D [sages showing up]

yknow if nothing else at least he didn’t make me fight a lynel

i love how tulin is just sitting on yunobo’s back after ganon’s thing. btw

oh, the champion’s tunic! thank you zelda i love you zelda

okay i love the conversation with harth and tulin. hope you were right about the polycule goddamn

i just noticed: link is BARELY taller than tulin holy fucking bingle

missing sage? :o

i bet it’s paya. i hope it is at least that would be cool i think

MINERU???? [voice]

oh god I’m in the ground MINERU WHY

MINERU!!!!

sage of spirit mineru pog!!!!!!

i was CONVINCED whoever it was would be the sage of shadow ngl but this works!

i have built a robot. this is apparently mineru now. i’m down for it tbh

she lost her secret stone? oh fuck that’s not good

I CAN RIDE AND DRIVE MINERU???? FUCK YEAH

oh what the FUCK is that [seized construct]

is there a dungeon here or just a boss fight? hold up

oh my GOD it takes NO DAMAGE i HATE that

wait fuck i slammed it into the fence that works thank fucking god

okay i stun locked it into the second phase which is excellent

done! that gives me big koloktos vibes actually i really like that

also really really helpful that i didn’t have to rely on my battery charge things during the fight i would’ve been FUCKED

MINERU WAS IN THE PURAH PAD????? THE WHOLEASS TIME???? SINCE MILLIONS OR WHATEVER YEARS AGO WHEN ZELDA SHOWED UP?????? i'm shook

actually the more i think about it the more her being the sage of spirit makes sense since she can like separate her soul from her body or whatever i'm pretty sure

there’s the last ring there’s the middle finger!

i do think that should've been riju though for. reasons

ma’am i swear to god if you tell me what i ALREADY KNOW about what happened to zelda

goddammit she is telling me that isn’t she

she’s the older sister? makes sense actually the vibes track

oh she’s explaining the murals from below the castle at the very very beginning! funky fresh

oh geez this is how he got dehydrated! or at least the start of it i guess

yeah, mineru, I KNOW WHAT SHE DID

MINERU WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN WHY DID YOU LET HER DO THAT

god like i understand that you’re dying and there was no other choice but FUCK this hurts

vow of mineru sage of spirit……. fuck

purah please i KNOW you’re smarter than this you GOTTA put the pieces together so i don’t suffer this knowledge alone i fuckin REFUSE

well there she goes but no fucking reaction makes it worse, thanks

oh god oh fuck oh no LYNEL

i am ZOOMING past that fight holy shit

OH NO I ASCENDED INTO THE LYNEL ROOM FUCK

“the power of the sages cannot reach you” thanks! i hate it!

fuck. back here again. game’s almost over huh [zonai mural room]

oh the last three murals….. fuck [sages v ganondorf, zelda and master sword, light dragon]

the fUCKING TORCH ON THE GROUND THAT’S ZELDA’S FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

alright. let’s end this

FRIENDS! SAGES!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

okay i died pretty fast there so i left, made a bunch of food, used most of my sundelions, and i’m back to try again

alright that went much better! or at least the first half did i guess there’s lizalfos now

ah fuck gibdos

aaaaand moblins. please let this be everything

alright! i did it!

ah fuck bosses. hate that a lot thanks

nevermind! hate that more! [separated from friends]

fuckin. did you really need to seal me in. bitch

eyyyyy there he is! he’s rehydrated!

HE CAN PERFECT DODGE???? GODDAMN

alright. one health bar down. no way it’s the last one

OH GOD OH FUCK SECRET STONE

WHAT THE FUCK KINDA HEALTH BAR IS THAT IT GOES OFF THE S C R E E N

SAGES :D

okay the health bar doesn’t go off the screen but still THIS FEELS EXCESSIVE

just saw tulin soar past me teba and saki are GOING to have my head

don’t fuckin crook your fingers at me like that

y’know if nothing else i’m getting really good at perfect dodges

HE CAN DODGE MY FLURRY RUSHES NOW???? bullshit. unfair

back to ganondorf, i left to get a fuckload of sundelions make a bunch of sunny dishes

first phase done. that went really well, actually

HOLY SHIT HOW DID I PULL THAT OFF I JUST BACKED HIM INTO A CORNER AND I HAD ONE HEART AND BARELY ANY SHIELD LEFT WHAT THE HELL

oh my god is he doing what i think he’s doing

VENGEANCE FOR ZELDA. FUCK YEAH

oh that’s terrible i hate the eyes

that’s literally the calamity [demon dragon]

who?? called my name??? who was that???

also how the hell am i supposed to kill an immortal dragon or whatever

i am looking at the calamity right now istg [demon dragon]

okay nevermind that’s a dragon but STILL

demon dragon…. kinda slaps

oh i’m stuck in his jaws i’m DOOMED

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK DAD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO CALL NOW FUCK YOU

oh thank GOD i have my hearts back

i see a couple big fucked up eyes that’s probably the weak points

thank you zelda love you zelda :) [she catch me]

damn this is gonna go pretty easy it feels like like i’m not gonna jinx it but this is going really well so far

i fuckin fell off

zelda sweetie i think you caught me wrong for a sec i almost fell off the side

FUCK UP THAT SECRET STONE LINK HELL YEAH

there he goes! probably hopefully idk for sure

i don’t feel so good mr. stark -ganondorf probably idk i've never watched marvel [death]

destroy ganondorf, complete……

glowy hand?

i am in the void. with the zelda

my glowy hand is goin towards her

oh! rauru and sonia! hi!

wait is this zelda and sonia’s time power. wait

are we bringing her back?!?!?!??! like i didn’t think nintendo would leave her like that forever but still please please please

ZELDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my beloved baby girl she’s BACK

my shirt is off and my hat is off but i’m still wearing the royal guard pants. weird

bye sonia!!! bye rauru!!!

question. how are we gonna get to the ground

ZELDA NO!

dive to zelda… i love that actually

I CAUGHT HER THIS TIME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

if that is the last gameplay in the game i would be so happy with that actually. the last thing i do is a parallel to the first thing i couldn’t

zelda :D fi :D

WAAAAAA I LOVE HER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am going to give her a hug. where’s the hug button nintendo

nintendo that’s nice that she felt like she got a hug but i want to hug her

SHE’S HOME!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

find princess zelda complete!!!!!!!

oh! post-credits scene!

me and zelda and sages and purah! :D

oh… bye mineru…. ilu….

i can’t believe zelda lost 6 separate moms (gender-neutral) over just 2 games (sorry) [unnamed bio mom, urbosa, sonia, mineru, rauru, daruk]

oh that’s so CUTE thank you sages

the end :D

[cherrycreamsicle]

venus i'm going to fucking lose my goddamn marbles i'm so mad i cant even articulate it properly. this just feels like they're throwing shit in the faces of all the artists and writers and voice actors who worked on the original film and going "it wasn't ''''REALISTIC'''' and ''''GRITTY'''' enough bc it was ANIMATED" and holy fuck i could kill someone. i could. oh my god.

they couldve fucking done an adaption of the books!! it's only been 14 years since the original movie!!! what's the fucking point if they're just going to do a shot by shot remake!!!! i know it's bc they want nostalgia money and they'll fucking desecrate the already desecrated corpse of this franchise for it and people are going to fucking watch it anyway because it's got the corpse's name on it but FUCK dude i'm so mad!!!!!! god. sorry

Don't ever apologize for being a hater in my inbox I love this shit.

I haven't seen the uhhh trailer(??) Footage?? Whatever that has caused such an upset but just like?? Idk i agree that there doesn't need to be a live action remake?? The animation holds up, the story holds up like it seems unnecessary. I thought that, for a movie aimed at younger audiences, the first httyd was very grounded and realistic. It didn't pull any punches and I felt like it was very respectful of the kids watching it and their ability to understand a story. It seems counterintuitive to make a more """adult"" remake of an already pretty "mature" story (again in the realm of children's media).

I am fascinated by your point about "the already desecrated corpse" though. Care to elaborate?

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.

lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one

(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)

-- fff why did I laugh

it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME

also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks

blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?

AHHHHHHH

PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS

HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD

(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)

oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news

wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN

so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads

oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it

COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO

MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever

WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII

WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA

YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF

(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)

GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT

dsflksaldkh;l

that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders

“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense

well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance

and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol

anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or

NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS

OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG

“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET

LMAO

“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me

YAY THEY SAVED THEM

but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them

goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here

oh my god

is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT

OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD

“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though

...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god

omg finally something interesting is happening!!

look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme

MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH

I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE

OH MY GOD

MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK

THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --

I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!

HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??

......

HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM

FUCK

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS

FUCK

GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI

AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!

AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU

NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”

AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・＿・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped

p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway

(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol. 

so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)

shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters

(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)

and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit

so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol

ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting

so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what

OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH

Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here

OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC

“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith

UM

 ( •̀ へ •́  )

that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite

GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT

let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out

is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what

anyways. your turn to what??

:’) excuse me what

hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay

so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg

but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol

meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit

anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

What a Time to be Alive - Diego Hargreeves x reader Season I

Chapter 7- The Day That Was

Summary: Five has popped in from nowhere, yet again. Now you, Diego, Five, and Allison are on the hunt for an important file.

Masterlist - where all the other chapters are⚔️

Tagged: @sambucky8 @white-wolf-buckaroo @2cuteforyourlies @la-vie-en-amour1 @fandomoverlord221 @thatfandombitcch @alonewolfsblog @starrrybarnes @winterboobear11

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?” Questions Diego, bewildered at the random insignificant name Five just handed Allison on a folded piece of paper. Five glances up at the six of you, who are all gathered around Allison in various states of befuddlement. He lets out a short huff before taking one more sip of coffee, promptly chucking it behind him where it soars across the room forgotten and out of sight.

“I don’t know...yet. But I know that he’s responsible for the apocalypse. So we have to find him. And we have to do it now.” Explains Five, setting up a new plan of attack.

“How is he connected to what’s gonna happen?” Wonders Luther doubtfully.

 “I don’t know.” Answers Five, Diego cutting in with his own questions, “Wait so you just know his name? That’s it?”

“That’s enough.” Assures Five to the rest of you. You let out a snort, amused by his ready-to-go vagueness.

“There are probably dozens of Harold Jenkins in the city.” Adds Diego, making a compelling point, how are you guys supposed to find one guy within the giant populous of the city?

“Well, we better start looking, then.” You deadpan, not thrilled with the idea of playing a game of Where’s Waldo.

Five then goes on to fully explain the reasoning and valuable information about how he came to the conclusion of Harold Jenkins causing the apocalypse. Further diving more in depth about his former employer and what the Commission is, as well as what it does, which is to protect and maintain the timeline. It’s a large informational dump, but it does clear up more about who Hazel and Cha-Cha are. As well as what they do, so they’re timetraveling assassins who help keep the timeline in order. And you already thought your life was weird enough.

Five finishes his little rant, the rest of you all beginning to speak out at once, rambling on with more opinions and unnecessary questions. Allison commenting on how completely insane everything he just said sounds. Five’s head snaps up at that, “You know what else is insane? I look like a 13 year old boy. Klaus talks to the dead, Y/N can get shot in the head and come back to life, and Luther thinks he’s fooling everybody with that overcoat. Everything about us is insane. It always has been.” You nod at that, Klaus adding his two cents from his spot laying on the couch, “He’s got a point there.”

“We didn’t choose this life, we’re just living it. For the next three days, anyway.” Five ends with, hoping everyone will see the importance of sticking together. “But the last time we tried to stop it, we all died. Why is this time any different? Why shouldn’t I go home to my daughter?” Worries Allison.

“Because this time, I’m here. We have the name of the man responsible. Guys, we actually have the chance of saving the lives of billions of people. Including Claire.” Replies Five, a new determination pushing him forward. Allison’s eyebrows furrow in thought, “You know her name?”

“I do, and I’d like to live long enough to meet her.” Five tells her honestly.

“All right. Let’s get this bastard.” She agrees, walking closer to Five. “You had me at Gerald Jenkins.” Says Diego, you roll your eyes, Five correcting him “Harold Jenkins.”

“Whatever it is. Too many people have been killed his week, let’s not lose anyone else.” You add, walking towards the door.

“You, Luther?” Five says, surprised that Luther hasn’t joined the band wagon yet. “Yeah, you go. I’m gonna stay and go through Dad’s files. I still think this has something to do with why he sent me to the Moon.” Luther tells all of you, his mind still dead set on the Moon and why he was sent there. You roll your eyes, Diego speaking up at Luther’s unwillingness to help, “Seriously? Now you wanna make the end of the world about you and Dad?”

“No. “Watch for threats.” That’s what he told me. You think that’s a coincidence? This all has to be connected somehow.” Luther explains while looking to each of you expectantly. “No, we should all stick together.” Allison reasons, trying to get Luther to see the light. “We don’t have time for this.” You groan while reaching out to touch Diego’s arm, you just really want to leave and get on with things.

“Let’s roll. I know where we can find this asshole. Klaus, you’re with me and Y/N.” Beckons Diego, nodding for him to follow. 

“Yeah. I...I’m good. I think I’ll, uh...I think I’ll pass,” He says from the couch while waving him off, “I’m feeling a little under the weather, so..uh...” He trails off, getting up and walking past you, Diego, and Five.

 Diego and Five look to you for an answer as Klaus walks away and out of sight, you just shrug your shoulders, “The worlds a rainstorm and he’s but a tiny rain forest ant.....I don’t know, lets just leave.” You tell them with a sigh as you start walking towards the front door, the two of them following.

“When did you get all metaphorical?” Says Five.

“Since today.”

“That’s right my babes a smart one.”

“Someone has to be...and Diego it’s not gonna be you.” Five lets out a choked laugh at your teasing comment.

“I’ve missed you guys.”

——

Surprisingly enough, Diego had the right idea when it came to finding this Harold Jenkins guy at the police station. They have all the records of almost everyone in the whole city, so Jenkins record has to be here.

Diego pulls up to the side of the building, while you look out the window at the bustling city life, thinking to yourself about how none of these people could even begin to dream of the life you live. They’re all blissfully oblivious to that fact that the actual apocalypse is supposed to be coming in a couple days. None of them have a goddamn clue. They don’t know what it’s like to die, or what a heartbeat sounds like in the chest of a terrified teenage robber. They’ll never know what it feels like to look at their own reflection in a bullet, as it flies past their head. When it seems like time is rolling in slow motion, and you’re the only one fast enough to react. They have no idea, and they’ll never carry the memories of taking another humans life. But no life you have ended was ever innocent, and the world can sleep a little easier with the loss of another rapist or murderer gone from the streets.

You stay silent as Diego and Five start talking about this Jenkins guy. “I know this Jenkins dude has to have a record. We gotta get our hands on his file.” States Diego, but you do wonder how he’s gonna pull this off.

“And your plan is to what? Waltz in there and just ask for it?” Sasses Allison, doubtful about Diego’s confidence.

“I know the station like the back of my hand, sis. I’ve spent a lot of time inside.” You snort at that, “Behind bars or handcuffed.” He glares at you through the front mirror, you just smile sweetly at him.

“Whatever. Here’s the plan.”

“Plan? I’m just gonna blink in and get the file.” Five says matter-of-factly. Diego shakes his head, “No, that’s not...You don’t know the ins and outs of this place, okay?” Diego jabs defensively.

“I literally just did this yesterday.”

“What.”

“My yesterday, not your yesterday. It’ll take me two seconds. Why don’t I just go?” Argues Five clearly confused as to why Diego is being difficult about this simple task.

“Listen to me. You are not going in there. I made a call. That’s what a leader does. He leads.”

“Okay then Mr. Leader, get the damn file.” You grumble, wanting to get on with the day, considering there’s only three left. He gives you another fake mirror glare, before opening the door and getting out.

——

While Diego is off and away, getting that file, you’re currently leaned against a marble wall of some giant building, Five doing the same to your left. The both of you listening to Allison’s attempt at calling Vanya, who doesn’t appear to want to answer. Finally Diego walks around the corner, “So?” Asks Five pulling himself off the wall.

“You’re welcome.” He says while Allison snatches the file out of his hand. Suddenly her eyes go wide, “Holy shit.” She exclaims, taken aback by whatever she’s looking at.

“What?” You question, leaning in closer to see what the big deal is.

Allison turns the file around so the three of you can see the photograph of a man, “Harold Jenkins is Leonard Peabody.”

Your brows furrow in confusion, “Am I supposed to know who the fuck that is?” 

——

It feels like you’re playing a game of clue or something of that nature, the file leading the four of you to Harold/Leonard’s house in some suburban neighborhood. You all get out of the car, making your way up to the front porch. “Be careful, okay? We don’t know what Peabody’s capable of.” Warns Allison in that concerned motherly tone of hers, it’s almost comforting.

“Yeah, he didn’t seem dangerous when I first saw him. Looked kinda scrawny.” Replies Diego taking the lead up to the house.

“Yeah, well, so are most serial killers and mass murders.” Allison adds, you laugh at the irony. “Exactly, I mean look at Five.” You tell them, Five gives you a half offended look while muttering a short, “Thanks.”

Five and Diego continue their way up and onto the front porch, slowly walking towards the door. As they’re doing this, Allison goes to the right, heading for the back entrance. You pause on the sidewalk, right in front of the house, while looking up at the roof where you spot a window into the upstairs bedroom, bingo. Crouching down ever so slightly, you spring up, hurling your arms upwards for more momentum as you launch yourself onto the roof. And she lands a perfect 10, outstanding, you think chuckling to yourself. Both Diego and Five completely unaware of yours and Allison’s absence, you continue to the upstairs window. The window’s locked but like that’s going to stop you, you grip the bottom of it and push up, snapping off the lock as you lift it. Giving yourself access into the house, you stick a leg in, ducking under as you make your way inside. It’s clean enough, and best part, there’s no house alarm. You have a look around at your current surroundings, nothing seemingly out of the ordinary that would raise any alarm bells, in fact the place is kind of a bore if your being honest.

Walking down the wooden stairs you see Allison and Five making their way towards the front door to unlock it for Diego. A second later Diego comes bursting through the glass, crashing into the floor and making a nice mess in the process. “Subtle.” Comments Allison looking down at him. Five walks over to the door handle, turning the knob and opening it, “You know, the door was unlocked.” He tells him. You make it to the first step, watching in amusement as Diego picks himself up, “Dramatic, as per usual.” You quip, Five and Allison snickering as Diego just grumbles, “Yeah, well, my way works just fine.”

He stands up, flicking loose pieces of glass stuck to his jacket, “Spread out. Yell if you, uh.... you know, you’re in trouble.” He sighs, walking away and into the living room.

“Ah, inspiring leadership.” Comments Five bluntly. “One of the greats.” Adds Allison as the three of you watch him limp away.

“If we ever have kids, I hope they’re not that stupid.” You mutter, Allison lets out a loud laugh as she turns to you, her face breaking out into an amused smile. Five just shakes his head with a tiny smirk lacing his boyish features, he then moves to walk away and into another room.

You shrug, walking back up the stairs, Allison trailing behind you. She searches in some guest room, as you slowly walk down the short hallway, your nose catching the scent of something odd, you look up. The attic door, “Well this has never let me down in any horror movie. There’s gotta be some creepy shit up here.” You mumble to yourself, incredibly curious as to what you may find. Reaching your arm up, you grab the dangling handle, firmly pulling down the retractable steps. Letting curiosity take the better of you, you march up the wooden step-ladder, only for your eyes to land on the entirety of the Umbrella Academy in its prime. All your faces scratched where the eyes should be, plus a multitude of figurines, some of which are broken and melted. Definitely not weird or anything, totally normal.

“Guys, you’re not gonna believe the weird-ass shit I just found!” You shout down to them, excited about your creepy horror movie like find. You can hear the thumping of their shoes as they all race to where you are from their various spots in the house. Allison peaking her head up first, the others following suit. They all stand around behind you, taking in their peculiar new surroundings.

“All our faces are burnt off.” Says Allison, freaked out and bewildered by this wild discovery.

“Well, that’s not creepy. This guys got some serious issues.” Mumbles Diego, who’s leaning down to get a better view of the damage.

“I was hoping our breaking and entering would lead to something interesting, I didn’t exactly have weird-man-child-obsessed-with-childhood-heroes in mind.” You muse, picking up a half melted figurine of yourself. Your face scrunches up into a grimace at the ugly sight, you then turn to face the others, gaining their attention.

“Look. Mine even has orange eyes. Special Edition Number Eight.”

“That’s nice Y/N. Mine doesn’t have a head.” Retorts Diego.

“Five you still look like your figurine, it’s like a freaky spitting image.”

“My hair looks better.”

“Amen brother.”

“Y/N I can’t say the same for yours..ah don’t hit me I’m kidding.”

“This was never about Vanya. This was about us.” Exclaims Allison, getting more disgusted by the second as she quickly gathers the attention of the three of you. 

Without warning Five falls to the floor, making a loud thud. You all turn in concern, “Five. What...” Allison trails off, getting down on her knees to better assess the situation, you set your half melted Special Edition self down on the shelf, turning to do the same but on Five’s left. Your eyes catch a deep red stained to his fingers. A subtle whiff of blood dissipating off of Five.

You lift up his uniform shirt to better see the damage, he’s got a nasty piece of metal shrapnel stuck in his side. “Jesus, Five.” Whispers Diego, concern lacing every word.

“Five what the fuck, I was wondering why I could smell blood on the way here.” You glance at Allison for a fraction of a second, she thankfully doesn’t catch what that glance was implying, you’d be laughing at the thought if not for the current situation. Five just groans, “You have to keep going. So...close.” He whispers, passing out once again. 

“Five. Five!” Allison shouts as the both of you try and shake him awake. It’s no use, he’s to exhausted.

“Well, shit.” You add dryly, positioning yourself to lift Five’s unconscious body up.

——

Diego holds open the Academy’s door as you quickly make your way inside, holding a barely conscious Five in your strong arms. Allison and Diego right behind you, “We should have taken him to the hospital.” She whisper yells.

“A kid with a shrapnel wound might raise some questions.” Five mutters tiredly, as a stream of blood runs out the side of his mouth.

“Yeah, well, so does the murder shrine in Harold Jenkins’ attic.” Presses Allison, making a solid point. You finally reach the living room couch, laying Five down as gently as you possibly can.

“He’s still losing a lot of blood. What do we do? We gotta get the shrapnel out.” Worries Allison, looking to you for guidance. Diego randomly walks past the two of you, seemingly abandoning ship, nope he’s just found Grace who’s apparently fixed and about to walk up the stairs.

“Diego, where are you going?” Allison calls after him, but he completely ignores her.

“Fuck Diego, we don’t have time for this. I’ll get the medical stuff...just uh...keep the old guy awake. I’ll be right back.”

——

You’re leaning against Five’s wardrobe as Grace puts a fresh bandage on his wound. Your mind flashes to the times when she would have to do the same thing to you, after countless dangerous missions. Although she would actually just be painfully dislodging the shrapnel, doing her best to be as gentle as she possibly could. Those metal and glass pieces would have left you for dead, if not for your miraculous healing capabilities.

Diego leans against the door frame as Allison walks up behind him. “Anything?”

“There’s no answer at Vanya’s place. And the receptionist at her music school said she was a no-show for her lessons today.” Replies Allison, nervous as to where her sister could be.

You turn around to face them, as they both walk into the hallway. You keenly notice how Diego’s face looks almost slightly startled to see Grace up and active after what he did.

“D, you okay?” You whisper walking closer to him and Allison. “Yeah. I don’t know, it’s just surreal seeing her. I just wanna tell her that I’m s...” he doesn’t let himself finish, not wanting to reveal any important details that Allison is unaware about, “We don’t have enough time. We gotta go.” He says, turning for the stairs. “I don’t know, Diego. Five is laying there, unconscious. We need him.” Pleads Allison, holding Diego from taking off just yet.

“We can do this ourselves.” He says, his voice laced with determination. Crossing your arms you take a deep breath, “We did that already, remember? Long story short, we all died.” You sass, also wanting to stay and wait for Five.

“I’m thinking I should go back and see Claire before...” Starts Allison, Diego cutting her off, “You can’t run away from this, Allison. That’s what started this whole mess in the first place.” Diego pauses for a moment sighing, “Luther was right.” He admits, both you and Allison giving him a look. She scoffs, surprised, “I didn’t think I would ever hear you say those words.” He gives an apprehensive smile, “Yeah, well... we gotta stick together.”

You nod towards him, “Alright, hot stuff. Where do we start.” You ask him. He flashes you a small smile, “There’s no other addresses in the file, but there is another relation listed. Jenkins’ grandmother. She lived near Jackpine Road.” He explains turning to walk down the steps, you and Allison following suit. 

“You think he took her there?” She wonders.

 “I wouldn’t mind a late night drive, it’s a good enough place to start anyways.” You conclude as the three of you make your way through the Academy and out the front gate.

Continuing your way into the street, “Nope. Come on, this way.” Diego says, pulling you in the opposite direction of two police cars sitting further down the street. “Wait, but the cars back that way?” Allison says, troubled as to why Diego refuses to go in that direction.

 “Trust me, okay. Come on.” He quickly says, walking briskly away from the cruisers, you lightly touch his right arm, quickening your own steps.

 “What’s up with the cops?” You whisper, he doesn’t look at you.

“They think I killed Patch. Because of all the evidence and all my finger prints were on everything.” He mumbles, your brows furrow in frustration, “What the hell? But I was there too? Guess I didn’t touch anything.” You state puzzled, just as blue and red lights begin flashing behind the three of you.

“We’re gonna have to split up, okay. I’m in charge. Remember Vanya needs you two.” He tells you, his face showing deep worry. Why must things always go wrong?

You grab his hand, holding it tight, “Don’t say or do anything stupid, okay?” You warn him, as Allison turns to quickly flee the scene. You squeeze his hand, “I love you.” You whisper quickly, before jogging away from the cop cars, as you hustle after Allison. You can hear him mumble a quiet “Love you too” as the police cars speed into view. You glance back, your heart stinging when handcuffs are forcefully placed on his wrists. Guns drawn on him, you’d love to kick those pistols right out of their grasp. But alas, you push onward, getting into the passenger seat as Allison starts the engine, taking off down the avenue and towards this house out in buttfuck nowhere. This whole evening has had quit the turn of events.

[martelldoran]

Ave Maria

Title: Ave Maria

Fandom: MCU

Ship: Steve/Bucky

NSFW: No

Summary: 

And Bucky loved him.

It was clear to him now as he sat, head bowed, at his bedside. He had almost lost him, could lose him still, and if that were to happen, he knew that he would lose the very best part of himself.

“How am I supposed to live without you?” he whispers, daring to take Steve’s hand in his own.

Steve has only gone and got himself hurt. Again. So, Bucky keeps a watchful vigil over his friend and struggles with newly realised feelings.

Written as part of @hogwartsonline‘s Dialogue OWLs from the prompt, “How am I supposed to live without you?”. Thank you to @stevenroguers for beta-ing. <3

Read on AO3 or Keep Reading here

Steve’s face is ashen and he looks like death is courting him. Bucky should be at school but he can’t face it. Not when Steve almost died.

He’s kneeling on the floor, the bare wooden boards digging into his knees.

“ Ave Maria, gratia plena ,” he mutters, tracing unwilling fingers over his pa’s old rosary.

He doesn’t think it’ll do much good. When has God ever listened to him? But he considers, maybe he’d listen to him today. Or if not him, then maybe his Holy Mother in all her mercy. If only they’d save Steve. Steve, who is good, Steve, who doesn’t deserve to die because he was trying to do the right thing.

“Please, please don’t die on me now. I’ll do anything, give anything .”

The woman who found him bleeding on the sidewalk said he’d sliced himself open trying to vault a fence after running from some asshole with a shiv. She didn’t know why he was being chased, but Bucky could hazard a guess. The guy woulda been ragging on some dame or a skinny, knock-kneed kid and Steve woulda seen and thought, “Not on my watch.”

Bucky didn’t need to know the details because there have been plenty of other assholes Steve has insisted on putting in their place over the years. It didn’t matter that he was barely scraping 5’4” or that he weighed about as much as a Raggedy Ann doll, the boy loved a cause.

And Bucky loved him.

It was clear to him now as he sat, head bowed, at his bedside. He had almost lost him, could lose him still, and if that were to happen, he knew that he would lose the very best part of himself.

“How am I supposed to live without you?” he whispers, daring to take Steve’s hand in his own.

It feels much too small and his skin is cold and clammy. Bucky’s afraid he might break him if he grips too tight. He strokes his thumb across Steve’s knuckles and imagines what it might be like to walk down the street holding this hand. But, as quick as the thought surfaces, he pushes it away, pushes it far down, where no-one, not even he, can see it.

Bucky swallows with a shudder and grips his rosary once more.

“ Ave Maria, gratia plena ,” he prays, a tremor running through the familiar words. “Holy Mother, don’t let him die. Have mercy on his soul. Take mine instead even if it’s only worth half as much. The world needs more people like him.”

Steve is meant for more than this, Bucky knows it, has known it for years. All he has to do is make it a few years further, until he's grown, and can take the entire world by storm. And Bucky will stand by his side through it all if Steve will  have him.

“ Ave Maria, gratia plena . You’re not so cruel to take him just yet. I pray thee intercede on his behalf, it is not yet his time.

“ Pater noster, qui es in caelis . Will talking directly to you work better? If you damn me, will you save him? Do you hear me, Father? It’s a fair exchange, isn’t it? Take me because I tell you this, I’d let you do it - a thousand times over.”

“James, darlin’? Won’t your ma be wonderin’ where you’re at?” Sarah Rogers’ voice reaches him from the door. Bucky starts. He hadn’t heard her approach. She is silhouetted against the light from the hall but Bucky can see how her worried eyes flicker over her son’s prone body.

Bucky scrambles to his feet, knees protesting after too many hours spent kneeling.

“No, she knows I’m here. I phoned her from the hospital before we left,” he says fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “Please, I’d like to stay. If I can?”

“Of course. Stay as long you like,” she says and enters the room fully.

Sarah looks tired, Bucky notes. Her face is drawn and she won’t stop wringing her hands. She approaches the bed and perches at Steve’s side, pushing back his fringe from his sweat soaked forehead. He moans in his sleep and tries to lean into a touch that was barely there. Bucky averts his eyes, it feels like a private moment.

“Are you hungry?” she asks him after a moment, voice tight and tired.

He shakes his head, not wanting to be even more of a burden than he already is even though it has been hours since he’s eaten anything. He hopes that the yawning hole in his stomach won’t give him away. With a heavy sigh, she raises her eyes towards him. It seems as though she might cry.

“I have to work . . .”

“I won’t leave.”

She nods, placated. At least there would be someone with him if the worst was to happen. Bucky shoves the thought away.

Steve’s breathing is shallow and ragged, rattling around his chest like a marble in a beaker. Sure, it rattles at the best of times but this feels different. Death is wet on his breath and her pale fingers are on his cheek.

Bucky resumes his vigil.

“ Ave Maria, gratia plena .”

Bucky wakes, hours later bent over the side of the bed with a crick in his neck and strain up his left side. Blinking, confused and with aching knees, he struggles up. Darkness has enveloped the room in a cool embrace and it’s deathly silent.

A horrible thrill of panic shoots through him and he’s climbing across the bed, holding a hand over Steve’s face.

“No, no, no,” he moans, holding very still. “Please be breathing.”

He is. It’s faint but it tickles across his palm like a welcome breeze on a hot day. Bucky sags, his head coming to rest on Steve’s thin chest as he offers up another prayer.

Oh, if only Sister Catherine could see him now. She’d probably piss herself with joy. Finally, the Lord’s good teaching had come home to roost. She’d think he was a proper good Catholic boy in this state, reciting all his prayers nice and proper. But none of this is for her benefit, the Lord’s benefit or even Bucky’s benefit. No. It’s all for Steve. Steve who’s too doped up to pray for his own immortal soul.

So, it’s Bucky’s responsibility to offer up the right words and make sure whoever is listening knows exactly who Steve Rogers is. He couldn’t care one jot about himself. As far as he's concerned, there is nothing waiting for him on the other side but he won’t condemn his friend on his own misgivings.

He settles next to him on the narrow bed, trying not to jostle his still healing body lest he bust open all those neat stitches. There’s a murmur and Steve scoots closer, a frown pulling at his already pinched features. It just about breaks his goddamn heart. With gentle fingers, he pushes Steves’s hair away from his forehead and lets out a low, long breath.

“ Ave Maria, gratia plena .” And so the cycle begins again.

With every new repetition, he tries to put as much feeling, as much concentration as he possibly can into it but his mind keeps wandering. He’d never been much good at praying. His ma would scold him for fidgeting during Mass and Becca would get all prissy because she knew the prayers better than he did. It wasn’t his fault. His mind couldn’t stay still, so it always wandered off someplace nicer than the badly lit, stuffy chapel they found themselves in every Sunday.

Usually, it was only bearable because Steve was there too. Half the time his ma was working so they took him, crammed him onto their pew shoulder to shoulder with Bucky who would try his darndest to distract him. Of course, ever the good, god fearing and pious child, he’d swat him away with a reserved smile even when Bucky would pinch the backs of his legs just to get a rise. It never worked but he liked it, relished it, even, because it made him feel important. It made him feel seen.

Well, it’s a damn good thing no-one can see him now with his rumpled shirt, bleary eyes, and hedgerow hair. He is a mess and he’ll be a mess for days to come. He doesn’t plan on going home until he knows Steve will recover. He will. He has to. Bucky will make him. He can do that, right? Because if he can’t, then he’s not sure if he can face what his life will be otherwise either.

He works his way through the rosary again, rubbing each bead with renewed fervour, as if the pressure he exerts correlates directly to how much holy power he can divine. Steve snuffles in his sleep, hooking an arm around Bucky’s leg.

“ Salve Regina, mater misericordiae, vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve. Ad te clamamus exult- exsus - ex- No? Shit.” He could never remember this one.

Fuck the Salve Regina. It was his least favourite prayer.

“ Exsules filii Hevae ,” rasped a thin voice by his side.

“Stevie,” Bucky breathes, dropping the rosary into his lap as if electrified. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. They flutter for a moment before one settles on Steve’s back. His pajamas are soaked through and he’s shivering, hands trembling something terrible as he tries to push himself into a seated position. “No, no. Don’t try and sit, you’ll bust your stitches, you goon. Lay back.”

With a groan he does as he’s told. He only ever seems to do that when he’s at death’s door but Bucky takes the victory, small though it may be.

“Water,” croaks Steve. His lids hang heavy, obscuring the blue of his eyes and he can’t seem to focus on anything but he gropes for Bucky’s hand, giving it a squeeze before Bucky pushes off the bed to fulfill the gasped request.

“Here, you go.”

Bucky holds the glass in one hand, supporting Steve’s head with the other as he takes tiny kitten-like sips.

“Sister Catherine would beat your ass for not knowing the Salve,” he tells him when he’s finished, voice breathy as he leans back against the pillows, eyes closed. The faintest hint of a smile curling across his lips.

“Well, it’s a good thing Sister Catherine isn’t here then, isn’t it,” Bucky retorts, rising easily to the bait.

Steve sniggers which turns into a cough which turns into a wince that has him clutching at his belly. Bucky frowns, hands hovering above his friend’s stomach, unsure. Closing his eyes, he takes a breath and chews on his bottom lip, considering his options. He needs to check his stitches and, really, he should get him something clean to wear. If he keeps on shivering like this then it won’t just be the threat of infection they’ll be fighting. Another bout of pneumonia and then the writing really would be on the wall.

That settles it.

With quick, deft fingers, head now feeling blissfully clear, Bucky strips off Steve’s pajama top. The stitches are holding, thank God, so he redresses the wound and then redresses his friend. His chattering teeth still but now, he's keening. The pain meds have worn off and the full, fiery pain down the length of his belly has returned.

Bucky attends to him as best he can. He gives him water and what little food he can bear eating but mostly he sits by his side, serving as an easy distraction. At Steve’s insistence, he squashes into the bed alongside him, letting him rest against his side while he talks. He doesn’t know what he’s saying half the time– he’s rambling ceaselessly to take Steve’s mind off the pain. He tells him about Dorothy, the redhead in his class who’s been making eyes at him, the neighbour’s dog who keeps yapping at all hours of the night, and that he thinks Becca will make a great nurse one day.

“Just like your ma, Stevie,” he says in hushed tones. “Maybe they’ll work in the same hospital. Wouldn’t that be grand? She might be her mentor.”

Sometimes, Steve grunts in response, but mostly he stays silent, breathing still shallow but looking a bit more peaceful.

As he speaks, Bucky’s voice quivers, straining under the pressure of remaining calm and in control for his friend. It wouldn’t help anybody to have him falling to pieces - at least on the outside. Inside, he feels like he’s breaking, like he’s being torn apart piece by grizzly piece. The shock of almost losing him is wearing off now; it’s still rocked him to the bone, but Steve’s ribbed him, tried to make jokes, he’ll be fine. Of course, he’ll be fine. He has to be fine. No, it’s the realisation that the very axis of Bucky’s world now revolves around the boy curled into his side that keeps his mind occupied throughout the night’s steady march towards daybreak.

People out there would have some helluva strong opinions if they found out. He knows what happens to boys like him. Pressing his lips together, Bucky stares up at the ceiling and blinks back the tears that have gathered at the corners of his eyes.

No, he won’t cry. Not about this. Love is supposed to be a glorious, wonderful thing. Didn't Jesus die out of love? Wasn’t God supposed to be all loving and forgiving of all sins?

Except this didn’t feel like a sin.

It felt like salvation.

“ Ave Maria, gratia plena . Have mercy on my soul.”

[meanwhileinthebroomcloset]

Mhm...  This post was meant to be much shorter, honestly. Not to mention it got super personal, which was not my intention. It actually made me a bit teary-eyed and I’m usually an emotional constipated dumbass. 

Am I ready for the potential backlash this is going to cause? Eh, probably not. Am I going to engage in the discourse this can cause? Ah, you wished. I have more to waste my energy on. I didn’t write this post to argument with anyone, anyway. 

Gonna risk it, still.

-----------------------------------------

Isn’t it kind of ironic that it was witchcraft that made me fully return to Catholicism?

I mean, I kind of never left, hence the ‘’fully’’ in that sentence. But now I really know who I am. Although I don’t think Catholicism is the most accurate label (Christo-pagan, perhaps?) it’s the one I grew up with, and the one that comes more naturally to me.

Studying the beginning of it all, the commentaries of Pagans and Jewish writers at the time are just so fascinating and honestly beautiful.

Then everybody started chasing and killing each order, and it sure wasn’t fascinating anymore.... ‘’Stop being murderous revenge-driven assholes’’ I angrily mutter into my book, while frying my brains for High Middle Ages exams.

And then it split into Catholicism and Arianism (not that Arianism! The no-holy-trinity-on-my-watch one), and that was a totally different can of worms. Then Rome got pissy and the Orthodox Church officially became a thing that existed.

Man, why is religion so messy?

Faith is such a strange thing. So much power, so much potential for good and evil and everything in between. I started losing mine some years ago. 

Contrary to some horror stories you may hear, especially from people who are now no longer Christian, I was raised in a pretty open environment.

‘’Don’t be mean, have faith, give second chances... Here are the commandments. They’re perfectly acceptable, see?’’

‘’Yes, there are different religions, but you should always respect them and the people that believe in them. Remember, Jesus was Jewish. Here’s some historical context... ‘’

‘’What the hell kid, nobody here is going to hell. Also, you’re five, there are no children in hell. No, the cops also won’t... Lord give me patience... Are you sorry? Did you apologize? Are you going to try to not repeat it? Great! Then it’s all fine and dandy!’’

‘‘Man, we are definitely all going to hell... At least since we’re all gonna be there, we could form a basketball team. The devil can be the referee. He will be an awful one, but hey, we’re in hell’‘

‘’I know the bible says the earth was created in seven days, but when that story was written, people didn’t know dinosaurs were a thing. Science is cool, and we are not in the middle ages. ‘’

‘’Blind faith is dangerous, kid.’’

‘’Thinking thoughts and acting upon them are two very different things.’’

‘’Yes, the second mom in that Solomon story was willing to see another kid die for the sake of an argument... sometimes people are that bad.’’

‘’God is perfect. People aren’t. That’s the world we live in and it’s okay.’’

‘’There are people who do terrible things in name of religion or say they’re doing it because the bible says so. Don’t believe them. There’s no excuse for murder and abuse.’’

‘’Yeah, Portugal is very enthusiastic when it comes to Catholicism... ’’

Pretty good summary of religion in my childhood.

Still, I found my faith waning. I didn’t really know why and I’m still a bit iffy talking about that.

‘’What did witchcraft do, then?’’

 Well for once, it reinforced my ideas on how faith worked, and how strangely powerful it can be. Being skeptical is healthy but completely closing yourself off because something isn’t completely clear is too radical and you're just doing the equivalent of closing your eyes to the less brighter lights.

My god, I can hear the hardcore atheists coming...

Can I remind you there are more things in life that will not provide the proof you want, but that won’t mean they aren’t there? Relationships. Relationships are too complicated to have straight answers, a lot of the times. People hide their feelings, they fake them, express them and react to them differently. There are so many things we don’t understand or know about yet, like space and organisms that live on this Earth.

Sometimes what you need is a different approach to see they exist! It’s one of the things I learned with witchcraft.

There was also the religion itself. As I worked on my magic, I started seeing magic around me again. Not just with gods I had never considered and the one I was leaving behind, but with the faith I had always known.

The affection when someone says ‘’Our Lady’’ when talking about the Virgin Mary, my family calling upon Saint Barbara when thunder comes, children screeching excitedly because the Compasso has arrived to give us the news that Jesus has come to life again in Easter, the marble cemeteries, the comforting prayers, the masses I couldn’t ear because the local church’s echo is terrible, those boring long-ass weddings (oh my god, how many blessings do two people need?!), the loving dedication I see in every saint carved, my church's priest’s good humor... I never owned a rosary, but I always like the ones my aunts and grandparents keep.

I found Christian and Catholic witches on this site and I finally got to my conclusion. It’s really there. I just needed a different approach to it!

These things made me believe again, but also in new things.

‘‘But you can’t do that! You can’t combine magic and christianity’‘ 

Oh, watch me. And also watch the centuries of cunning women and witches in European history and those still alive today. The women that make ‘’mezinhas’’ and other types of favors in Portugal sure as hell are doing witchcraft, but you can bet your ass they don’t think they’re any less Catholic than anyone else. They don’t care about your opinions and I will hopefully do the same.

Relationships with deities are personal, and my relationship with God, Jesus and all of them is no different in that regard. I am a witch, I am human, I am catholic. I’m a follower, not a fucking mindless sheep.

You know what? I always compared God to Aslan. The lion wasn’t always there for Narnia, he wanted his people to solve their problems on their own. Get their independence, as a good parent does. They both don’t come up all mighty, that’s a posture reserved for evil and people who need a good slap in the face. They come to your level. God may come through one of the less eldritch abomination looking angels, though...

‘‘Well, if you have god, you shouldn’t need anything more. He's everthing. Why are you also a witch?’‘

Excuse me, do I look like a goddamned saint to you?! What part of human did you not understand?

And before you bitterly start quoting the Old Testament, let me remind you that it’s Old for a reason. Christ came to this earth to give us new rules since he technically saved us and things became different. That’s why Jewish people follow the Old Testament, for them, the messiah hasn’t arrived yet. Not to mention that to them that testament is not Old, it’s just the Torah.

You can keep quoting the bible to me all you want. But in my short twenty years of life, I was thankfully able to learn a few things. One of them is that the world isn’t black and white. Yes, I know this sounds obvious but there are some really dumb people out there. Also, this is the hellscape that we call tumblr.

Anyway, as I have mentioned several times before, I’m a never-ending knowledge seeker I found the world beneath my feet is not pure myth and I want to explore it. Look at me go.

I keep a critical mind with everything. Faith and religion are not an exception. I’m not overly skeptic about faith itself, but I am of its writings, interpretations, translations and etc... I study history, it’s a skill you naturally develop.

And there’s quite a few plot-holes, characterization differences and much more. It was written by humans that couldn’t do a cohesive collaboration even if their lives depended on it. Godphones sometimes don’t get a good reception. There’s a ton of cultural context to unpack. I hear people saying all the time that taking the bible’s words literally is one of the most stupid things you can do.

And when I say people, I mean priests, clergy, theology students, etc... I didn’t hear this from my drug dealer in the street corner..

...... I don’t have a drug dealer.....

Anyway...

There are many problems with the catholic church. There are many problems with a ton of catholic and christians out there. I will never deny that. Shit needs to get fixed and maybe even chucked into the trash.

But I still believe in God, I still believe in the saints but I also still believe there are more gods and spirits out there. And those things are separate.

I have no interest in converting you. I’m just yelling into the void.

If you are one of those that no longer is a christian, or catholic because some dipshits banged self-hate onto your head, I’m really sorry. I hope you heal well and get the help you need in your new faith or lack of it. Banging the ten commandments back onto their heads repetiedly and tell them to actually read the damn book is optional, though.

In the end, if you are (or are trying) to be good, you deserve respect and freedom to worship whoever or whatever you want. You don’t need to be perfect, you can just strive to be the best you can be in your situation.

--------------------------------------------

And now back to our schedueled programing.

[faunusrights]

‘AFTER THE FALL’ - LIVEREAD II

Part I (prologue to chapter three) here!

According to other people reading this alongside me, I have yet to even see the true extent of how, um... interesting some of the characterisations are? So, we can only do one thing: keep reading, even though I’m relatively sure the corpse of a sizeable moth was batted onto my copy :I

We’ve reached chapter three, and only now do I realise what a considerable chunk of the book that is? Blimey.

CHAPTER THREE

/gets six lines in /shuts the book

Look, I said I wasn’t gonna say it because we know I hate it but ughghghgh I hate canon Velvet soooooo muuuuuuuuuuch she’s SO boring I’m SO sorry but GOD--

Okay. Okay. Moving on. Yatsu is our narrator now so let’s hear how he sounds!

“Ash started crying and crying and crying--”

I know it’s inevitable that most names I picked for OCs will crop up elsewhere but... Ash? You tryna take Ash “Bottom Energy” Scarlatina away from me now? Can’t I have anything?

So, it was mentioned that apparently a recurring thing I’ll be seeing in this novel is Yatsu and Velvet being hitched together on the character development front, and honestly, I can see it happening here. They’re being made into one sort of unit and Yatsu keeps calling attention to that, which isn’t... great, ‘cause I’m kinda hoping we’ll see more individual development? But the current consensus is that It Ain’t Happening, so we’ll See, I Guess,

Okay, I love that Velvet makes spreadsheets on her Scroll. I deeply enjoy her making chats to keep track of stuff, because honestly what a mood that is.

‘Yatsuhashi whirled around in confusion, but Velvet was gone. He didn’t like losing sight of her; what kind of trouble was she getting up to now?’

Predictably, I don’t like Velvet being babies in any sense of the word, but I do like that Yatsu’s first worry is what trouble can she possibly fucking cause now? Velvet and her high chaos energy, whomst I Adore,

Also what the fuck is a breadfruit.

‘Professor Greene’s Stealth and Security class--’

UGH I wish we knew more about the classes they took in Beacon. Do you know how hard it is to write an AU in which the Fall of Beacon never happened and having to pull classes outta your ass? It’s HARD, Y’ALL,

Yatsu’s Semblance is... making people forget things? That’s. Weird but alright??? Sure??? Whatever???

Me, every time Velvet snaps: why is it I only get the Velvet I’m after when she’s being such a bi-- oh wait I have a type sorry continue as you were,

But actually God I miss chibi!Velvet pour one out for the cancellation y’all

“This is bad,” Yatsu said sadly.

Me to myself: I know it’s not good writing I know and you know but don’t say anything just move on--

Okay before I move on, I’m definitely seeing a lot of that Yatsu/Velvet hitching, and makes me Nervous because I love Yatsu and I love Velvet but I also love them separately so I’m holding out hope that they get split up at Some Point because they really have been written together pretty much the whole way, huh? 

CHAPTER FOUR

OKAY CHAPTER FOUR LET’S GO LET’S GO

It’s Fox time, and we’ve got an introduction to Copper, Fox’s mentor (someone mentioned it’s totally a 'The Fox and The Hound’ reference). And-- ah, he’s dead. That was quick.

‘Velvet sometimes let her feelings get the best of her, Fox thought.’

You think that’s bad? You should meet murpverse!Velvet, that bitch has never held a thought in her head for more than five seconds.

I’ll confess I’m now reading pretty far ahead before I have any commentary of note. I’m enjoying Fox’s narration far more than anyone else’s by a pretty considerable margin, and it’s probably ‘cause Fox -- despite saying literally nothing in canon -- saw a lot of people reach the same conclusion to his character? So this one is much easier to settle into. Also, maybe it’s ‘cause he was such a blank slate that the writing works better for him. I dunno.

Story-wise: Edward is-- okay, actually, side-tangent: Edward? We seem to really jump in and out of the colour scheme, huh? Anyway, Edward’s a shady mfer and LET VELVET DO SHIT ON HER OWN!!!!!! LET HER BE A DUMBASS OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

‘That was the last time he;s underestimate [Velvet].’

Told ya, dipshitte.

Ooh, everyone’s Angery about Everything. Seems like the Mood Bombs are also more passively AOE than just being a Sudden Boom, because everyone’s got a MUCH shorter temper? Then again, mine would be Non-Existent in a desert to begin with, so maybe they’ve all got sand up their butts. Also, Gus is to blame for the Mood Bombs anyway! That’s a big F, kiddo.

CHAPTER FIVE

Flashback to the dance!

Awh, Ruby made her own outfit and cape. Li’l seamstress! Oh, dang, do you think Summer taught her? Or, at least, showed her how her cape was made? Aaaaa--

Lien remains... weird. I thought it’d be closer to a currency rate like Yen to the dollar (so thousands are worth much less), but the implication here is that twenty Lien is more like $20? The currency here is very weird and even I’m at fault for flip-flopping on it, but I honestly expected it to be more like Yen. Huh.

Coco likes Ruby’s outfit look at that senpai GO.

Oh, okay, so they met at the dance? For some reason, I thought they’d already been acquainted? I thought they mentioned that team CFVY were away in the show (and therefore knew them at least in passing) but apparently not.

Okay, so Coco’s dialogue is... weird? I’m not totally down for the voice the author’s chosen to give her, and the more I see of it the more I’m starting to notice it. That said, I can’t believe Coco has reeled off Ozpin’s whole speech for Ruby. I’d have forgotten three words in.

Still jumping back and forth on Coco’s dialogue. I’m not sure if I like it. Moving on.

Weiss is Big Bitch Supreme, I see. This flashback is striking me all wrong for some reason, but I cannot for my life of me say why.That said, Weiss unironically saying besties is the funniest thing I’ve read all week, so there’s that.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH TIME FOR VELVET AND RACISM UGHGHHGHGHHHHGHGH IM GONNA GO GET LUNCH FIRST--

WAIT BLAKE’S THERE

WAIT NO I’M GETTING FOOD FIRST EVEN IF BLACK VELVET IS RIGHT THERE--

Okay I ate too many calories and walked my dog let’s do this before I have to take said dog to the groomer. On that note, I’m like halfway through the book already? This really is short as heck.

“You had something to say to me?” Velvet asked. The boy clamped his mouth shut.

Do ya? Bihh.

Also I LOVE that highlights from the initiation are playing so that Blake literally looks a thousand times more intimidating. I wish we’d seen more of that kinda thing in the show, with RWBY being the new hotshots and the dynamic they had with Beacon as a whole. But that would have involved not blowing Beacon up to fuck and then having the writers go ‘uh, what do we do now?’ so what the hell do I know.

OOUGH THIS BLACK VELVET,,, HHH,,,, MURPHY’S OTP IS HERE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“What should we do with him?” [Blake] looked at Velvet.

Kill him... and then... kiss....................................

“I don’t believe in fighting prejudice with violence,” Velvet said.

I wish y’all could have heard the sound I made at that. Canon Velvet you’re just so... soggy bread about this.

Blake shook her head. “that’s not how we deal with people like him where I come from.”

Blake yr so HOT... hey you should teach Velvet how you deal with people like him and then kiss. That said, are they talking about Menagerie there? Or the Fang? If it’s Menagerie, that’s even funnier because I love the idea of an idiot running their mouth and then having five families and a baby wail on them.

Blake hates dog-ears in their books. Bad news, asshole, it’s the BEST way to mark PAGES bookmarks are for the UPPER CLASSES who don’t realise BOOKS are TOOLS of EDUCATION--

Anyway. Moving on-- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG.

Yang beat the assholes up anyway I love her!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER SIX

Back with Velvet. Blessing or curse? Who knows.

Edward and Gus make for an. Interesting duo. This plot hasn’t captured my interest crazy well, and if I didn’t know this was RWBY and such I’d probably pass on it ‘cause it’s pretty... eh, but I do like their Semblances and this could’ve been a pretty decent side-plot thing in the show! Such as in My Hero Academia with, uh, whats-his-name... Eraserhead. I dunno. I’m thinking this was a good idea that hasn’t had enough space to breathe.

Emotions are Flying High and Whomst will be the first to crack like Egg? I am liking the method of raising tempers because everything’s a little sloppier and unpredictable! Also, that’s the end of chapter si-- what? Wait, chapter six was only ten pages? Yeesh.

For all in-tents and porpoises, I am tryna keep track of OOC moments, but having everyone be out-of-sorts is making is pretty hard to track. Rip.

CHAPTER SEVEN, I GUESS?

We’re with Yatsu again, and he’s talking about his Semblance to... make people forget shit! I still don’t know why this is his Semblance, or the use of it anyway, but whatever! I’m in this cart and the horse ain’t stopping until M+K says so!

I’m with Velvet here; why is she constantly being relegated to the backseat? Coco needs to fuckin’ get her shitte together on this front. Even Fox said earlier than he has to stop underestimating her, but they’re still doing it now.

OH MY GOD THERE’S A GRIMM JACKALOPE??? Holy shit I’m losing all of my marbles shouldn’t these guys have, like, other names????????????? No??? Okay!!!!

Battle scene. I’m not hot on combat in writing because I find it. Kinda boring. But it is what it is so I’m speed-running it.

And so ends chapter seven. I’m gonna stop here because. I want to! I feel like this story is very short and it could’ve already had more to it than this faffery in the desert, but that’s just me!!!!!! I guess!!!!!!!!!!! Next time: another flashback to the goddamn dance.

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: The Assassin’s Blade, Ch 28-29

A great way to start your first year in college is reading shitty YA novels.

We open up with Celery and some other assassins helping Ilias and the Master.

A few sniffs revealed that the wine had been laced with a small amount of gloriella, just enough to paralyze him, not kill him. (...) How had he not noticed it before he drank? Perhaps he wasn’t as humble as he seemed; perhaps he’d been arrogant enough to believe that he was safe here.

I am going to lose my shit. I am actually going to go insane.

You didn’t fucking notice either Celery you goddamn waste of space piece of shit!!!!!!! You were drugged the same as him, you don’t get to act all high and mighty!!!!! Fuck you, Celery. I was considering snarking the rest of the series but Jesus Christ this is actually making me fucking exhausted to the point where I don’t know if I can handle it.

The next few pages do that shitty thing where each scene is only a sentence or two long and they have to use the scene indicator a million times and it looks fucking ugly. Look at this.

Shit’s ugly, man. Anyways, Celery lets Ansel go even though she murdered innocent people and generally fucked everything up because of reasons, I suppose.

The Master calls Celery into his room later to talk (yeah, he can talk now) to her about how poor Ansel lost her family. Yeah, still doesn’t justify her murdering Mikhail and other people who considered her their friends.

He walked to a latticework hutch, as if he were giving her the time to regain her composure, and pulled out a letter. By the time he returned to her, Celaena’s eyes were clear. “When you give this to your master, hold your head high.” She took the letter. Her recommendation.

I wish the Master was in a better book, he truly deserves it.

He also gives Celery a bunch of gold to help pay off her debts, and even though I hate Celery and she doesn’t deserve it, the Master is too pure, too good for this world?

Sunlight gleamed on the gold inside, reflecting through the room like light on water. All that gold … and the piece of Spidersilk the merchant had given her … she couldn’t think of the possibilities that wealth would open to her, not right now. “When you give your master his letter, also give him this. And tell him that in the Red Desert, we do not abuse our disciples.

I think I stan him now? Yeah, I stan a minor character whose never gonna appear again. That’s how shitty the cast is in this book.

With that, that brings this shitty, shitty story to a close. I hate this one the most so far; horrible writing, horrible characters, Celery continues to grow even more unlikable, and there wasn’t even any Sammy in there to cling onto. Let’s just start the next one.

The next story is called The Assassin and the Underworld. Ow the edge.

The cavernous entrance hall of the Assassins’ Keep was silent as Celaena Sardothien stalked across the marble floor, a letter clutched between her fingers.

And we’re starting off with another Celery POV. Joy. At least The Healer short story allowed us tiny breaks with Yrene. Will I ever get my beloved Sammy POV?

So Celery marches into Arobynn’s study and tosses the letter at him, growing immediately pissy when he doesn’t open it.

She looked at the exquisite red carpet beneath her feet. Someone had done a splendid job of getting all the blood out. How much of the blood on the carpet had been hers—and how much of it had belonged to Sam Cortland, her rival and co-conspirator in the destruction of Arobynn’s slave agreement?

Good lord SJM, we know who Sammy is, stop info dumping us about shit we already know.

“If I could take back that night, Celaena, I would.” He leaned over the edge of the desk, his hands now forming fists.

So Arobynn pulls the abuse shtick of apologizing again and again for abusing Celery, and I hope to god she isn’t stupid enough to fall for it.

“Every day,” he went on. “Every day since you left, I’ve gone to the temple of Kiva to pray for forgiveness.” She might have snorted at the idea of the King of the Assassins kneeling before a statue of the God of Atonement, but his words were so raw. Was it possible that he actually regretted what he had done?

I swear to fucking god if I have to read Celery forgiving her abuser and handwaving his abuse away I am actually going to Kermit

Father, brother, lover—he’d never really declared himself any of them. Certainly not the lover part, though if Celaena had been another sort of girl, and if Arobynn had raised her differently, perhaps it might have come to that. He loved her like family, yet he put her in the most dangerous positions. He nurtured and educated her, yet he’d obliterated her innocence the first time he’d made her end a life. He’d given her everything, but he’d also taken everything away.

I am actually cringing so hard right now this is a major Yikes. Regardless of how many presents he buys you or if he acts nice sometimes, he’s still an abuser! He still beat the shit out of you and threatened to kick you out of your home if you didn’t get what he wanted!

So yeah Celery decides “oh well I’m not telling him about the gold I have and my plans to leave him” so fuck the Mute Master for giving you all that gold, I guess? Fuck you, Celery, just fuck you.

“Benzo Doneval is coming to Rifthold,” Arobynn said. Celaena cocked her head. She’d heard of Doneval—he was an immensely powerful businessman from Melisande, a country far to the southwest, and one of Adarlan’s newer conquests

Another boring fucker like Lord Berick who probably won’t even make an appearance? Seems likely.

Doneval is friends with a queen of Melisande that surrendered her crown to the King of Adarlan and he’s here to discuss building a trading road to help get some wealth rolling in Melisande.

Doneval also wants to set up a slavery trade in Adarlan, so Arobynn has been hired to take him out. Great. More of using slaves to prop Celery up, I see.

She was beginning to see where this was going. Doneval was practically wrapped in a ribbon for her. All she had to do was find out what time the meeting would take place, learn his defenses, and figure out a way around them.

I cannot wait to see how she fucks up this supposedly easy mission.

And even though there was no excuse in this world for what he had done, Arobynn was all she had. The history that lay between them, dark and twisted and full of secrets, was forged by more than just gold. And if she left him, if she paid off her debts right now and never saw him again …

Yeah, you read that right. Celery forgives her abuser because he raised her. Holy fuck, this is very uncomfortable for personal reasons I’m not going to get into, but just because someone raises you doesn’t mean you owe them shit. Fucking hell, SJM, do you know how humans function? Do you read your own shitty novels before you send them off to be printed?

Celery peaces out of there after lowkey forgiving her abuser which is. sjkhakdhkadhjk.

A passing servant bowed his head, eyes averted. Everyone who worked here knew more or less who she was, and would keep her identity secret on pain of death

But like??? Just???? Why?? Why is this a thing why why why why.

She clenched her hands into fists and was about to whirl and stomp back down the stairs to tell Arobynn that she was leaving and that he no longer owned her, when someone stepped into the elegantly appointed hall. Sam Cortland.

THERE HE IS THERE’S MY BOY THERE’S MY BOY

I missed Sammy so much holy shit, I can’t believe I’m actually excited to read this book for once. Sammy deserves such a better series.

No missing limbs, no limp, no indication of anything haunting him. His chestnut hair had gotten a little longer, but it suited him. And he was tan—gloriously tan, as if he’d spent the whole summer basking in the sun.

I’m so happy in fact, I barely did more than roll my eyes at the tanning thing. Sammy is here and he’s not maimed or harmed! No doubt that’ll change by the end for Celery’s angst but let me have this while it lasts.

“Are you hurt?” Sam asked quietly, taking another step closer. It took her a moment to realize that his imagination had probably taken him to a far, far worse place when she said someone had held a blade to her throat.

Please tell me that wasn’t a casual reference to sexual assault. Please tell me.

He was now looking more closely at her, at the almost invisible white line along her cheek—another gift from Ansel—at her hands, at everything. His lean, muscled body tensed. His chest had gotten broader, too.

I love how Sammy was implied to be an average sized dude until SJM decided Celery needs to thirst for him, and then BAM instant broad shouldered buff hottie. This series is so fucking ridiculous we are reaching Twilight levels.

“Sam!” a dark-haired, green-eyed young woman chided, laughter on her lips. “There you—” The girl’s eyes met Celaena’s. Celaena stopped smiling as she recognized her.

Oh great, more fucking girl hate. Listen, I’m not gonna pretend all women are perfect delicate angels who do nothing wrong and that all women get along 100% of the time but I’m sick and tired of all girls in YA not getting along. Why can’t girls just... be friends? Be civil and kind to one another? You know, how it mostly is in real life?

“Lysandra,” Celaena echoed. She’d met Lysandra when they were both ten, and in the seven years that they’d known each other, Celaena couldn’t recall a time when she didn’t want to beat in the girl’s face with a brick.

Oh great, it’s Lysandra to boot. Those who read my E0S know she was a decent character, certainly one who deserved better than to be a love interest for Assdion. Can’t wait for Celery to slut shame her a million times in this novel!

Apparently Lysandra and Celery cat fight all the time and one time Lysandra stole a fan from Celery so she beat the shit out of her. Lovely.

“[Arobynn] invited your future clients here?” “Oh, no.” Lysandra giggled. “This is just for me and the girls. And Clarisse, of course.” She used her madam’s name, too, like a weapon, a word meant to crush and dominate—a word that whispered: I am more important than you; I have more influence than you; I am everything and you are nothing.

Literally nothing that Lysandra said implied any of that, but go off on how important you supposedly are, Celery. She doesn’t have the brain power to comprehend people’s lives don’t revolve around her.

Lysandra lifted her chin, looking down her delicately freckled nose at Celaena. “My Bidding is in six days. They expect me to break all the records.” Celaena had seen a few young courtesans go through the Bidding process—girls trained until they were seventeen, when their virginity was sold to the highest bidder.

I know shit like this happened in real life, but the fact that Lysandra is excited about it is.... bleh. I already know SJM is gonna be super fucking tasteless about serious topics like this.

“Sam,” Lysandra went on, putting a slender hand on his arm, “has been so helpful with making sure all the preparations are ready for my Bidding party.” Celaena was surprised at the swiftness of her desire to rip that hand right off Lysandra’s wrist. Just because he sympathized with the courtesans didn’t mean he had to be so … friendly with them.

Oh, fuck you, Celery. Just because you have a crush on Sammy doesn’t mean he owes you shit. If he wants to be with Lysandra, that’s his right and he has no obligations to return your feelings!!! But no, use it as an excuse to slut shame Lysandra. You fucking piece of shit.

Though Lysandra’s virginity was unquestionable—it had to be—there were plenty of other things that she could still do. Things that she might have done with Sam …

This fucking bitch I swear to god.

1. Way to slut shame and portray it as a good thing if the girl “‘deserves it”“, SJM!

2. So what if Sammy and Lysandra had sex with each other? Sammy has no obligation to like you back or save himself for you. Jesus fucking christ.

Celery runs off to have a cry and literally nobody gives a shit. The end.

[stormecloudyy-blog]

Amor Proibido

The inspiration for this story comes from two of Shawn’s songs I am currently very obsessed with. Based upon Roses and Treat You Better, this is the story of a 24 year old journalist encountering 19 year old pop sensation Shawn Mendes. Super awesome shoutout to @nothingholdinmeback for helping me better focus my thoughts. This is going to be a series so I am excited to see where this goes. Please enjoy and I gladly welcome all feedback, good and bad!

“We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us.”- Francois Rabelais

“…and this kid is going to be fucking huge and you are the one who gets the honor of writing the story for the cover!” My boss exclaims, throwing his hands up in some semblance of jazz hands to convey the excitement I am supposed to be feeling at being told such “amazing” news.

Instead, eyes narrowing and twisting a strand of magenta tipped hair around my finger, I ask him flat out, “What the fuck is wrong with the kid?” I bite my lip, searching for the give away about why I was given the story and not a more senior writing. As far as writers go at the music magazine I work for, I am at the fucking bottom. Most of the time I am writing blurbs about albums no one else wants to listen to or fetching coffee. There is no way I am getting such an honor without there being a big catch.

My boss clears his throat, hands lowering to his side as he lets out a long sigh. “He’s just… well, we have heard he likes to have some fun with the ladies so we thought it–”

I hold up a finger. “Stop the fuck right there, Brice. Shut your mouth before I do it for you. You cannot actually be telling me you are giving me the story because this kid wants to look at a pair of tits while I am supposed to be asking him interview questions. Because that would be sexist as fuck, and I know no one here is about that. I would rather pass on doing a cover story if it means I am getting it based on what’s between my legs. Fuck that.”

Brice laughs. “And that is why we want you to write the story. The sass and wit you possess. There is no one else who can go toe to toe with this Mendes kid the way you would be able to. When we landed the chance to score him for the cover, yours was the only name I would utter because I knew you were going to be the best one for the job. Because you are a goddamn amazing writer, and you won’t deal with this kid’s shit.”

I chuckle. “So you want me to write a story about some popular pop musician but do it with sass?” I raise my eyebrows, not sure I am hearing him correctly. I am still twisting my hair around my finger, heart pounding in my chest. Holy shit. I am going to be finally writing a real piece of writing… it’s exactly what I have been waiting for.

Brice leans on the edge of my desk, crossing his arms against his chest. “Play your cards right with this one, and you could be looking at assistant editor before you are even twenty five.” He holds up a hand before I can respond, adding, “Do not fuck this up though, or you’ll lose your entire writing career.”

No pressure, right?

Being escorted into a hotel room by a security guard shouldn’t feel weird. I have been around famous people before. This kid should be no different. Albeit I had to jump on a plane to do this interview because he is travelling, but I don’t mind. It is all part of my exciting job as a writer. I went to school for this. I have worked my ass off. I have earned this completely. But I still can’t explain why I have the nervous flutters in my stomach. Could be because this is such a big deal…but the more experienced writers I work with say it should be akin to breathing. But right now I can’t breathe, and I wonder if I made a mistake to just throw on a simple black dress with a grey cardigan. Maybe I should have dressed sexier… but that isn’t me.

“Hey.”

I look over at he’s just sitting there, watching me with these deep hazel eyes. A smirk plays at the edge of his round lips. And he has this mess of curls. Like he just runs his hands through them constantly and doesn’t care about how haphazard they exist upon his head. His phone is in his hand and he taps it against his knee, clearly waiting for me to speak.

I glance to my side, realizing the security personnel now stands by the door and not next to me. I got so lost in my thoughts for a moment and… no. This is work. He is just some fucking musician. He is younger than for me, for fucks sake. I need to stop being so damn nervous.

“Please sit down,” he says gesturing at the leather couch across from the one he is perched on. He is still smirking at me, watching my every move and I can feel the fluttering still running rampant in my stomach. Probably should have skipped the wine on the plane…

I walk over and extend my hand, introducing myself to him. My face remains neutral, the epitome of professionalism. Then I sit down, taking my bag off my shoulder and placing it next to me.

“I’m Shawn…” he says, waiting until I take my digital recorder and iPad out of my bag. He is staring at me with curiosity, I can just sense it. He reminds of the boys from high school who would stare at me just because I was “pretty” suddenly. They used to make fun of me, and then when I grew into my looks, I was suddenly worth their time. It is sad to see the male species never changes.

I hate how he affects me. It is like he knows how good he looks. I can appreciate someone’s aesthetics, and Shawn is just dripping with them from every being of his existence. He has this sharp jaw line, these taut muscles, and he is probably really good. In short, he looks fucking good for only being nineteen. But he is a kid, and he is fucking cocky about his looks. I can just tell by the way he smirks, like he expects me to fall at his feet. But that is going to happen when hell freezes over.

I just need to get the start of this interview done because I am going to be doing a whole story on him so I get to interview him multiple times before putting together the final piece. Not to mention, I am sure there is going to follow ups since he is going to be the next big thing or whatever Brice said about him. None of that matters, I am here for a job. The end.

His phone buzzes and he responds to a text, fingers flying across the screen before he puts the phone face down and looks at me. “So you are the one who is going to be writing the story about me. I thought they were going to send someone more…”he rolls his wrist, trying to search for the right words. “More male, I guess. I thought they wouldn’t want to send a woman after what happened during the last interview I had.”

I almost drop my iPad, not wanting to know what he is talking about. I was warned vaguely about Shawn, but I didn’t think he was going to talk about it to me. I am going to be recording and writing about him. You would think he would want to make a good impression. “Excuse me?” I demanded, daring him to elaborate as I turn on the digital recorder.

Those hazel eyes twinkle, watching my hands turn on the recorder and place it on the table between us. He raises an eyebrow and leans in closer, “You heard me just fine.”

“I am here to do my job, not listen to you tell me about unimportant moments in your life,” I say, opening up my iPad to the app I use for all of my note taking so I can create a cohesive piece after I listen to the audio as well. I notice there is a little bit of edge in my voice, more than I was anticipating so quickly.

“Isn’t your job to hear all about my life though?”

“Yes, but I have a purpose when I am going to be asking. I don’t need like some random commentary about things no one else gives a fuck about related to you. I am interviewing you for a music magazine so I am going to ask you about music. I don’t think it is that hard to understand,” I snap, my eyes meeting his with a challenging look.

“I can talk about music just fine,” he states, chuckling. “I was just telling you I was surprised about their choice. Of course, I am not going to complain at all. I am grateful they sent-”

“Stop,” I cut him off, not wanting to hear a bunch of bullshit lines. “Let’s just do this preliminary interview so I go back to my own hotel room and eat some fucking food because I am hungry and tired, and I am wasting my time right now listening to you change the subject over and over.”

He bites his lip, looking at me with those eyes and he smiles. It isn’t a sardonic smile either. It is a genuine smile, like he finally understands I am doing my job. It as though he sees me finally, and it causes all of the air to escape from my lungs. Those fucking eyes.

“Sorry,” he says, holding up his hands in surrender.

“Thank you,” I acquiesce, feeling calmer and wishing the air would return to my lungs. I hate the way a kid can make it so I am not able to breathe. He is younger than me, and this is my job. No more, no less.

“Usually everyone they send to interview me is old enough to almost be my parent… how old are you anyway?” Shawn questions me, leaning back against the couch and letting his mouth let go of the smirk I thought was going to be etched into his marble like face the whole time.

I blush, knowing he is going to think I am old once I tell him my age. “Um. I am twenty four. So…uh…not old enough to be your parent haha,” I force out a fake laugh, feeling my palms start to go sweaty. What the fuck is going on right now.

He raises an eyebrow. “You’re young.”

I sigh. “Not compared to you, Shawn.”

He shakes his head at me, looking at me as though I am crazy. “No, you are young. And I know you must be talented to be doing a story on me. Not to sound conceited, but I know your magazine is very well known and the cover story isn’t just handed to someone without good reason.”

Is Shawn Mendes complimenting me? Is this happening?. Fuck. There goes the air in my lungs again and my palms aren’t faring much better.

“I am okay, I guess,” I say, not wanting to talk about myself.

“You must have some type of talent to be working for such a good magazine and doing this interview. You should try and give yourself more credit sometimes. It can be good for the soul to admit you have talent.”

“Can we just do this interview so I can go eat? This is about you, not me,” I say, scanning my notes for the questions I have ready to ask him. “So… what makes this album different than the others?” I keep my eyes on my words, refusing to look at him so this can end sooner.

He is silent for a moment, eyes flickering as he wonders why I won’t elaborate anymore. Then he shrugs, not saying a word.

Goddammit.

Shawn looks at me with the most intense gaze, knowing he is getting on my last nerve. There is something about him which gets under my skin.

I don’t need this in my life. I just wanted to do my job and be done. I had to get on a flight right after work, and I am so tired because I did not sleep last night. I don’t need Shawn Mendes to test my patience anymore. I just want this over.

“Can you answer the question?” I prompt, tapping my fingers on the edge of my iPad. Waiting.

Shawn shrugs again, the smirk returning in all of its glory.

“What about inspirations for this album… are there any particular ones you want to talk about?” I ask, sighing for a moment and wishing I was eating a pizza and soaking in a hot bath alone.

“I am always inspired by those around me..” he trails off, leaning closer with his elbows resting against his knees. The couches are close enough he could reach out and…

“Inspired by those around you..” I echo, taking quick notes and noticing how dry my mouth is. I lick my lips nervously and keep my eyes away from him. He can’t know what he does to me or this is never going to end.

Shawn nods, taking the time to let me write down some more thoughts before he decides to elaborate more on his answers. “In the past year, I have learned a lot more about who I am as a person. As in, how I am no longer a kid. I am growing up, and I think my music reflects who I am becoming and shows where I have been. It is a journey, as I am sure you know. You’re a writer too…we grow and develop. We learn who we are…what we like…what we want..” he looks at me as he speaks, hazel eyes intensely gazing at me.

“I want to be happy,” he says with a shrug, his words heavier than he will detail. “Just like everyone else.”

[zhalar]

so basically im losing my marbles

...this won’t be comprehensible. call down the hawk -spoilers and Much More up ahead

ffffFFFFFFFFFFUUUUCKVGBFJGCCCCK

FUCK????? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! I DIDNT . FKING SIGN UP TO TH E APOCALYPSE THO!!!!!!! THIS SHITS FUCKING TERRIFYING actually i love it but like rtegrfhg mom holy fuck

i dont. i dont have any idea how to construct these feelings im experiencing. fuck you ronan lynch i love you so so so fuking much this is TERRIBLE . MY DUDE!!!!!!! 

haghf huhffgh. how does Stiefvater keep doing this??? how am i literally in love with every fukcing character who matters???? HOW????

Liliana and Carmen are. Lesbians. That is my thought and i hope with all of my goddamn soul that theyre gonna team up with the DReamer gang(tm) . And also move together to that fking cottage which i was promised. God!!! those ladies are in love!!!!! good for them!! Im so invested in both their characters its . Its real bad scoob, im gonna end up hurting my heart arent i.

MATTHEW MY BRO!!! the part about him wait how the fuck did it go. Not having a drivers license and being fine with that bc “if i dont have enough friends to drive me places im living life wrong” HFYTDRTHIU I LOVE YOU WHAT THE FUCK

Adam and Ronan have NO RIGHT TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS MUCH ABOUT PARTNERSHIP AND DATING FUCK.... OFF.................  if the next book doesnt open with adam answering to ronan :) im gonna cry. im WORRIED.

i could yell about TAMQUAM ALTER IDEM for EONS :) "As if a second self." Cicero used the expression, "as if a second self", to describe a completely trustworthy friend; such as, an alter ego, "other I" or alter idem, "another self" both of which are considered to be one's inseparable friend." OH I ACTUALLY HATE IT HERE.

Adam Parrish and the crying club........... this bitch actually did it.. he did what im dreaming about. He went to college and got himself a gay group of friends thru the means of empathy where can i Sob. Where Can I Sob.

the gangsey -dynamics in this one tho.. ooooooo grace. ooo grace. oh. My God. i love you blueganseyhenry youre a goddamn good ... good fkcing bunch. tho i dont recall if Henry was mentioned at all but pshh we all know hes there, it’s just a lil confusing to start explaining all that midst this story.

Absolutely crying about Ronan’s “hell” in that one chapter you know the one. the :))) his friends leaving to a year’s trip without him can you Tell that I am sensitive about friendships and RonAn loving his friends and being so fucking upset about not being able to live like that :):):)  im also sorta laughinf at how we just .. glossed over the trauma of seeing gansey’s body after he d-worded in TRK because we dont have time to unpack all that,

declan really did it. he made me fall in hey-bro-i-feel-you-and-all-your-worries-are-hitting-a-lil-too-close-to-home -love with him. i dont recall ever realllly hating him, but now i Definitely understand him better (as was probably the point). the Lynch brothers brothers Lynch I WOuld Kill For The Three Of You. they care about one another? Oh i love that que the waterworks

time for a random though. in the Opal -short story there was that random lady who got to the barns and snooped thru ronan’s stuff and looked at a pic of Niall and Aurora and says “damn you” and im not saying that she could be a big sister but im saying. That she could be a big sister. dark hair pale skin blue-almost-white eyes... :-) this was my first thought on the matter when i made the possible connection: OH MY GOD THOSE BASTARD BROTHER LYNCH'S HAVE A SISTER DONT THEY

Ronan at the beginning of the story... s i  g h s he was so fed up he was SO FED UP with the routine with the way his life was forced to roll out the lack of change i FELT THAT IN MY HEART OF HEARTS....... HJHHHHHHH

JORDAN AND HENNESSY AND EVERYONE ELSE MY GIRLS MY G I RL S

THIIIISSS IISSSS UPSETTTIIIING I LOVE THESE GIRLS . jordan wanting to live her own life to be her Own Person... i want her to have everything and more........ Jordan is so good and talented and she believes in the world and so yeah i may be biased but what Fucking Of It.

Hennessy you messy b can i Blease give you a hug. ive never wanted to hug more in my life i swear. This series has some good. as. hell. female characters.

Hennessy’s and Ronan’s dynamic im kissing my fingers like a french chef, on god we’re gonna make both of you bestfriends and cure both of you of nightwash and youre both gonna prosper so much theres gonna be gardens from here to mars. Ronan making the whole “i dont wanna be the only dreamer”-thing such a point im crying over my desk as im speaking, yall really just be insecure and scared and all that huh, fkcing lemme hold yall real close for a second, please,

Bryde frightens me. Not gonna lie! not gonna lie. I feel like there might be a chance of him being secretly after the end of the world but i... i dont know. i dont trust him but. maybe things Can be nice sometimes. The Lace + the visions of future make me feel the heebiejeebies tho, definitely :)

im real fucking terrified of ronan becoming somehow corrupted thanks to bryde, now that i read a post about bryde being an absolute creep ertghfd i cant do this 

aesthetic-wise i feel like i liked the raven cycle a tad more than cdth! literally just a matter of forests vs big cities, but the vibe from these two series’ was almost confusingly different when i started to read this one... it fits the story better for sure, but if i can prefer one i definitely lean more to the deep green forest of ancient legends and kings. what a cool thing to have separate your stories tho :0

ok. ok.. okokok. God! Damnit!!

[allfoolsinluv]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Holy shit I'm losing my marbles rn

Ok so first off this might be the hottest smut I have ever read. Javi is a goddamn MENACE but in the best possible way. Tags said multiple orgasms & I thought "oh neat, Javi's gonna give her a few good ones" and OH BOY DID I UNDERESTIMATE THAT. Decided to keep a tally of how many they both got during the night, and these were my findings:

Cielito: 10

Javi: 3

How both of them were able to walk by the time they got out of the shower is beyond me but ya know what? Good for them.

Speaking of the shower.... oh my god. First the body worship that Javi DESERVES & then he edges her until she can barely stand then fingers her into oblivion? *chef's kiss* 100/10 excellent scene.

Ok and second, I am OBSESSED W THESE TWO 😭🥺💗

I love how into each other they are. They're so sweet together and i love that Cielito is like "this is kinda crazy I've only known him 3 days but I think im almost in love w him?" but then it turns into a "when you know, you know" thing. Ugh warms my heart, they both deserve to be happy w each other 😌💕

I think my favorite soft part is when Javi calls her his girl & she's like "I'm your girl?" And he says yes, if she wants to be. That whole little scene of them talking about going steady was so fucking cute I thought my heart was gonna beat out of my chest. I love them!!!!

Learning to Live Part 4

summery: Javier Peña wanted to wait three dates before fucking you—his way of trying to do things right. It’s sweet, very sweet, but you’re horny. You’re both horny. The two of you know how this third date will end, you’ve just got to get through dinner and a movie. You can wait a few more hours, right?

rating: E (18+!!! THIS IS SMUT. With a sprinkle of plot. Unprotected P in V (wrap it up), creampie, oral sex (m & f receiving), vaginal fingering, praise, edging, squirting, body worship, dirty talk, multiple orgasms (so many), spit mention, teasing, (1) light bite to Javi’s buttcheek, spanks (playful), aftercare, post-sex smoking, so much kissing, Soft Javier Peña, fluff, softness.)

pairing: Javier Peña x F!Reader

word count: 11k+ (I apologize.)

A/N: The third date got out of hand and I’m going to split it into 2 chapters. (Sorry!) This first part is reader POV. I love the response to this series so much! Thank you for reading! I’ve outlined more chapters and some one shots, with a pretty good idea about where I want things to go. I always welcome asks and dm’s. This is, as always, dedicated to my bestie and inspiration @juletheghoul and shoutout to my beta @invisibleismyname who I love with all of my heart. Thank you again for reading and commenting!

Comments and reblogs appreciated!

Part 3 - Part 5 - Series Masterlist - Masterlist

Cielito.

My little heaven.

My little love.

When Javi had said the last three words, you’d sucked in a breath, eyes widening as your mouth made a perfect ‘O’, taken aback for a moment by the reveal. He told you it was a term of endearment similar to sweetheart or darling, but your mind was focused on those three simple words, shining bold and bright in your brain like a blinking marquee in Time’s Square. Knowing the translation made it seem much more intimate than something like honey or sweetie, and he’d bestowed it upon you on the first date, as if he’d determined right away you were special to him—that you’d be someone special to him. The words, the knowledge, it made you feel like you were going to melt into a puddle, your whole body just overcome with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

There was another reason it was getting to you, this man calling you something so sweet. With everything he’d gone through—before, during, and after Colombia—the horrors you knew he’d witnessed firsthand but didn’t talk about, he had somehow managed to keep a bit of softness; he hadn’t let all he’d experienced turn him into a hard shell of a man. You wouldn’t have blamed him if it had, but then he wouldn’t be your Javi.

Javier Peña was a sweetheart, and he felt comfortable enough with you to let his guard down, letting that bit of softness shine bright and encompass the two of you. You were falling hard for him, finding yourself more and more enamored with the man each day, and you knew the feelings were mutual. You were two people taking a risk, both jumping headfirst into the deep end, and you knew without a doubt you’d make it to the shallows together—there’d be obstacles to overcome, that would be expected, but in your heart, you knew it would all be worth it—that he was worth it.

You’d recovered quickly after the initial shock, the two of you talking for a little while longer, not wanting the conversation to end just yet, and when he said, “Goodnight, Cielito,” your brain translated what he really meant, falling asleep with a smile on your face and your heart happy.

When you got up the next day, you had a mental list of things you wanted to get done before the date. You’d changed out your bedding, made sure your bedroom and adjoining bathroom looked decent, you’d gone to the grocery store to pick up supplies for apple pie, and put together two when you got home. Throughout all of your tasks, a smile was prominent on your lips, your mind constantly thinking about Javier and the plans for the evening. You were elated, the feeling constant and growing stronger as the clock ticked closer to six.

You took one of the pies next door to Mrs. Hernandez's apartment, the older woman delighted by the baked good, thanking you profusely for being such a kind and thoughtful young person. You just hoped she’d feel the same way the following day.

By the time five came around, your apartment was spotless, and you started getting ready. It was the same routine you’d done the day prior—shower, hair, makeup, perfume—putting on a white sundress printed with red flowers all over, and the bust dipping to show some cleavage.

You were excited, very excited, already feeling your underwear becoming damp with arousal. As it got closer to six, you sat on your couch, trying to pass the time with your favorite book; well worn, and read so many times you practically had the words imprinted in your brain, but your mind kept thinking back to the phone call. Thinking back to the promises that were made, and your pussy clenched at the thought of them, of Javi fucking you. The anticipation was almost unbearable, and you weren’t entirely sure how you would make it through dinner and a movie without him touching you—would he touch you? You thought about the things that could happen in the darkness of a theater, and your breath hitched in your throat, feeling your body get hot at the idea of his fingers slipping under your pretty dress, moving up your thigh, remembering the way they felt in his truck as they moved closer and closer to your—

There was knocking on your front door, jolting you from your thoughts. You got up from the couch, quickly bookmarking your spot and setting the book on the coffee table, body hot and vibrating, thinking it couldn’t possibly be six already. You checked the clock on the wall, noticing it was five minutes till the hour, and you giggled that he’d arrived early. You looked at your face in the mirror by the front door, seeing your pupils dilated, cheeks burning, breaths coming out a little harder, realizing you clearly looked aroused as your heart beat rapidly in your chest. You hadn’t even looked at the man, and already he had this effect on you. You smiled, smoothing the invisible wrinkles out of your dress, quickly unlocking and opening the door.

Javi was standing there, a bouquet of roses in his hands. His hair was neatly combed, a navy blue button-down under his open leather jacket, and wearing his signature tight jeans. You saw his eyes move along your body, taking in your dress, and when they met yours, you noticed they were more black than brown, a flush creeping up his neck, and the realization hit you that you affected him just as much as he affected you and it made arousal burn in your belly and your pussy throb with need.

You both stared at each other, not speaking, as the events from the previous dates came to mind—his fingers on your cunt, your hand on his dick, his tongue down your throat, his words from last night. You both knew this night was going to end with him between your legs as you screamed his name, and suddenly all of the pent-up tension and need for him to touch you and ease the ache between your legs, was too much. You watched his throat bob as he gulped, and you knew without a doubt that he was thinking the exact same things.

“Fuck,” he whispered, breaking the silence, and that was it.

You moved forward, grabbing hold of the lapels of his jacket, pulling him into your apartment as his lips crashed against yours. He kicked the front door closed once inside, tossing the flowers onto a table in the entryway, and then his hands were free to cradle your face, pulling you closer to him as his tongue slid into your mouth with a groan, you answering in a moan.

It was desperate, tongues and teeth, noses bumping, and your hands started moving, pushing his jacket down his shoulders, his hands leaving your face to shrug it off as he toed off his shoes, your mouths never leaving each other.

He started walking you further into your apartment, your fingers working open the buttons of his short-sleeve shirt.

“Need you,” you moaned as he kissed along your jaw. You got his shirt open as he walked you backward.

“Need you, too, baby,” Javi rasped, lightly nipping at your chin. You tried to lead him to the couch, too impatient to walk to the bedroom, his lips on yours again, but he corrected your destination, heading towards your room. “No, Hermosa,” he said between kisses. “Bedroom. I’m eating your pussy.” You moaned at his words, your hands touching the newly revealed skin of his chest, one of his own on your breast, the other grasped tightly on your hip, while his tongue tangled with your own, making whimpers escape your mouth.

You were panting when you finally made it into the bedroom, separating from his mouth to sit on the end of your mattress, Javi’s waist at perfect level with your face. You palmed the prominent bulge, looking up at him through your eyelashes as he groaned. You licked your lips, the thought of getting him in your mouth overwhelming as you started undoing his belt. He stopped your hands, looking at you with lust-blown eyes.

“Let me taste you first,” he said, voice low, sending a tingle down your spine.

“You’ve made me wait three days. I’m sucking your dick.”

He let out a deep groan, head falling back as his hands left yours, signaling it was okay for you to continue. You got his pants open quickly, pulling them down a little to free his straining cock, it bobbing in front of your face, and your mouth watered at the sight—long, thick, cut, curved in a way that made your pussy throb when you thought about it filling you. You grabbed hold of it with one hand, pumping him, seeing the precum dribble from the tip.

“Such a beautiful cock,” you praised before leaning forward and sucking on the tip, relishing in the salty tang of his arousal. Javi moaned, hips pushing forward, and you smiled. You came off him, licking a stripe up from the base, swirling your tongue around the head, as he gasped out a “Fuck.”

You finally took him fully into your mouth, using your hand to work what didn’t fit, his cock heavy on your tongue, as you started working him in earnest, hollowing your cheeks. You were so turned on, core dripping as you swallowed him down, reveling in his gasps and moans as you took him deeper, and deeper, until he was in your throat, and tears were streaming down your face, trying not to choke. You knew you looked like a mess, mascara smeared, and spit dripping down your chin, but you didn't care—you were enjoying yourself too much as his hand landed on your head, guiding your movements. He looked down, your gazes meeting, and you came off of him with a ‘pop.’

“Fuck my mouth,” you said, voice hoarse from the dick in your throat.

His eyes widened.

“Fuck, Cielito,” he groaned. “No, I’ll blow my load. Don’t want to come yet.”

He moved back from you, leaning down and into your space, his big hand lightly wrapping around your throat, tilting your head up as he kissed the breath right out of your lungs, tongue slipping inside to taste you, and making you moan. After a moment, his hands moved under your thighs, mouths parting, as he pushed you up the bed, taking up space on his stomach between your legs, pushing your dress up your hips, mouth kissing up the inside of your knee to your thigh, his mustache tickling your skin and making you shiver. You were panting, quickly wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, as he went to the other leg, giving it the same treatment, your cunt clenching painfully around nothing as the anticipation swelled inside you.

You wanted him to touch your pussy. Wanted to feel his mouth on you, and right when you were about to beg, his fingers grabbed hold of your underwear, him leaning up to tug them down and off your legs. He finally touched you where you wanted him, and your brain short-circuited, a gasp leaving your mouth as you felt his fingers spread open the lips of your cunt.

“Such a pretty fucking pussy,” he said. You looked down at him, his eyes on your wet heat. “You want me to lick you, Hermosa?” Your gazes met. “Want me to make you come all over my face? You want that, baby?”

“Yes,” you gasped. “Please.”

You watched as he let spit drip from his mouth and onto your cunt, making you moan loudly as he dipped his head down, licking from your entrance up to your clit. It felt incredible, electricity flowing through your body, as he groaned against you, his arm moving to hold down your waist as he started licking and sucking, expertly building you up. You’d known he’d be good with his mouth, but you hadn’t anticipated how quickly he’d have you careening towards an orgasm, making you babble things you weren’t even sure were words, writhing under him. You were close, so close, and he latched onto your clit, and that was it. You were coming with a shout of his name, fingers digging into the blankets on the bed.

“Good fucking girl,” Javi said while you caught your breath. His mouth worked you through your high, and you figured he’d gotten his fill, but his head came off of you. “One more on my tongue, baby, then I’m going to fuck you. Give you what you want.”

“Fuck, Javi,” you moaned.

He dove back in, relentless with his mouth. He pushed in one thick finger, making you gasp, and then there was another, and you clenched around his digits, loving the feeling of something inside to ease the ache. He worked his mouth and fingers, pumping them, before curling them, searching for a moment. Your back arched when he hit something blinding, his name falling from your lips as pleasure coursed through you. He focused on the spot, his mouth around your clit, and all of it combined had you falling off the edge once more, coming with a wail. You felt like you were floating, body tingling as the aftershocks radiated through your body, Javi helping you through it all. You were breathing hard, chest rising and falling as you caught your breath.

You were leaning up, pulling on his shoulder, when you could finally think, not able to wait any longer.

“Need you inside. Please, fuck me,” you begged.

He smiled at you as he crawled up your body, his open shirt brushing against you as he pushed his pants down his legs just enough to move better.

He braced himself with an arm beside your head as he kissed you hard, kneeling between your thighs, using his other hand to rub his cock through your folds, getting his dick wet before notching himself at your entrance.

“You ready?” He asked against your lips.

“Yes,” you breathed.

He slowly pushed in, both of you moaning. You felt like his cock was splitting you open as it carved out space inside, your wetness easing his way. He’d worked you open with his fingers, but there was still a little pinch with how big he was, and it took your breath away.

“You’re doing so good, Hermosa,” his voice strained. “Taking me so well.”

He gave you a second when he bottomed out, and you whimpered at the fullness, the way Javier was stretching you open, loving the way he felt inside, so big and perfect, filling you in a way that made your soul sing.

“You feel so fucking good,” he said. “So warm. So wet. Fuck, I don’t know how long I’ll last.”

“Move,” you moaned.

It’s like a switch flips at your go ahead. He pulled almost all the way out, before pushing back in, setting a hard, steady pace that had your mind blanking out from the pleasure wracking through your body. He was railing into you, grunting, your moans stuttered from the way he was pounding into you, and you felt the coil winding tight in your belly.

The sounds in the room were obscene; the headboard hitting the wall, the wet sound of your pussy taking him, the moans, grunts, and groans. You’d wanted this for literal days, wanted to feel him inside of you, and all of it was so much better than you could have ever imagined, as his cock filled you over and over again, quenching the burning need.

He pulled down the top of your dress, freeing your breasts as his mouth enveloped your hard nipple, making you cry out, your hands landing in his hair, tangling your fingers in the thick strands. He sucked at it, then at the flesh, his thrusts never waning as he moved from one breast to the other, littering them with sucks and light bites, marking them with his mouth. It was almost too much; you were close, could feel your orgasm just in reach.

He pushed your legs up higher on his hips, changing the angle, rubbing against that blinding spot that made your toes curl and your breath hitch. He snaked a hand between your bodies.

“I’m not going to last,” he grunted. He was looking at you; lips kiss swollen, mustache still glistening with your slick, eyes so dark they were practically black, face scrunched up almost in pain as he concentrated hard. He started thumbing your clit. “Need you to come for me, Hermosa. Give me one more. Come.”

Everything came to a head, Javier leaning down to crush his mouth against yours as you came, swallowing your moans. You gushed around his cock, clenching as his hips stuttered.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted against your mouth.

You had the presence of mind to speak.

“Come for me, Javi. Fill me up.”

A groan bubbled up from his chest, so deep and guttural, his strokes getting quicker and harder, until he pushed in deep, coming with a gasp of your name. His hips continued to grind into you, fucking his spend as deep as possible through the oversensitivity, grunting with each thrust, until finally, he collapsed on top of you, his head between your breasts, breaths coming out hard.

You rubbed your fingers through his hair as you both came down from your highs, comforted by his weight on top of you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but nice, grounding you back to Earth.

It could have been seconds or minutes before either of you spoke.

“Hi,” Javi mumbled against your breast.

You laughed.

“Hello.” You played with the hairs on the back of his neck, making him let out a content sigh and sink even further into you. “We really skipped the whole greeting part and went straight to sex. Our self-control needs work.”

He chuckled, and you felt his chest rumble on top of you.

“I’m not complaining. Wish I had a smoke.” His voice was still muffled.

You hummed in acknowledgment.

“If you’re capable of getting off of me, I can make your wish come true,” you replied.

He moved his head, resting his chin on your chest to look at you.

“You’ve got cigarettes?” He asked, sounding hopeful, eyes big and round.

You nodded. “Yeah, in that drawer,” you said, pointing at your bedside table.

He looked longingly at where you pointed.

“Give me a second,” he said. “I came so fucking hard I don’t know if I can move.”

You laughed.

“We’re in the same boat. My arms and legs feel like jelly.”

He looked back at you, a smug smile on his face.

“Yeah?” He asked.

You playfully hit his shoulder.

“Don’t look so smug. You know for a fact you made me come three times. No man has ever done that before.”

“That was only the first round.”

Your eyes widened.

“First round?”

“First round,” he said with a nod. “The next one, I’ll strip you naked and see if I can beat three.”

“You weren’t kidding,” you gasped.

His eyebrows furrowed.

“About what?”

“Fucking me until I can’t walk.”

“I never joke about sex, Cielito,” he said in an amused tone. He moved then, pulling out of you with a hiss as he kneeled between your legs. You watched him bring a hand to your pussy, spreading you open. “Fuck, that’s pretty,” he said, watching himself drip out. His eyes met yours. “I can do this all night? Over and over again?”

You clenched around nothing. “God,” you moaned. “Yeah,” you nodded. “You can.”

“Shit, I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”

He kicked off his pants and removed his socks and shirt before crawling up the bed beside you completely naked, leaning in to give you a sweet kiss, and ending it with a peck on your nose.

“Do you want me to clean you up first or have a smoke?” He asked softly.

“Mmm, smoking after great sex sounds fantastic,” you answered.

He smiled, quickly kissing you before turning on his other side to pull open the bedside table drawer. He grabbed the ashtray, set it on the surface, then got the cigarettes and lighter out, sitting up on the bed with his back against the headboard. Within seconds, he had a lit cigarette between his lips, taking in a drag and sighing on the exhale.

“It’s been so long,” he mused.

You moved onto your side, propping your head on your hand as you watched him, the light from the lamp bathing him in a golden glow, and he looked content, happy, a soft smile on his lips, his face more relaxed than you’d seen it in all the time you’d been together, and it warmed your heart. You didn’t mind the state you were in, chest bare and dress all askew; you were comfortable, running your free hand along his bare thigh, feeling the muscle underneath his warm skin.

“Sex or smoking?” You asked.

He looked at you, adoration shining in his eyes as he brought the cigarette to your lips, letting you inhale, before moving to flick the ash into the tray as you exhaled away from him, the wisps of smoke filling the air in silvery tendrils.

“Both,” he answered, taking another drag.

“It’s the same for me,” you replied, happily accepting when he brought the cigarette back to your lips, repeating your previous actions.

He looked at you with those big brown eyes, a little vulnerability shining through. “I quit after I left the DEA. Did the whole nicotine gum thing. Fingers still itch like a bitch sometimes.”

Your hand stilled on his thigh, eyebrows knitting together. He held the cigarette near his face, it slowly burning towards the filter, the thin paper and tobacco turning to ash before your eyes.

“Was this a bad idea?” You asked, looking at it.

“No,” he reassured. “An occasional one is fine—fucking nice, really. Just can’t make it a habit.” He looked at it, then back at you. “You want the last bit?” He asked, moving it towards you.

“No. You go ahead,” you said with a shake of your head.

He nodded before bringing it to his lips, the glowing embers brightening before he stubbed it out in the ashtray, letting the smoke slowly escape through his mouth and nose with a long sigh.

You smoothed your hand over his soft belly, feeling the hairs of his happy trail before moving it up his chest. He lightly grabbed your hand in his larger one, admiring it, his eyes scanning each of your fingers before your gazes met, and you watched, sucking in a breath as he kissed your fingertips. It was soft presses of his lips, gentle, tender.

“I’m sorry our third date was a bust,” he rasped, breaking the silence.

It took you a moment to respond, caught up in the softness and the overwhelming feelings you were experiencing at how much you adored the man.

“It wasn’t a bust,” you finally responded. You smirked. “The come dripping out of me says it was a big success.”

Javi groaned, eyes closing for a second before opening up again. He kissed your palm and let go of your hand so he could tip your chin up, leaning down to slant his lips against yours in a searing kiss.

“Christ, you’re perfect,” he murmured against your mouth as you parted. “Let me clean you up.”

He quickly kissed you as he moved to get off the bed. You watched as he walked through your bedroom to your en suite with zero care for his nudity, and it made you smile, your eyes taking in the line of his back and his cute little butt. His jeans really didn’t hide anything from the imagination, and you couldn’t wait to touch it.

The night was going better than you ever could have dreamed. It didn’t bother you that you skipped the dinner and movie; you knew the two of you wouldn’t have been able to focus and enjoy yourselves, too focused on how the night would end. Really, all you did was skip to the part you were both excited for. The wait had been worth it, and Javier had more than delivered.

Your eyes widened as you had the dawning realization that you were ruined for all other men.

How could you ever go back to subpar sex where maybe you got an orgasm? You thought you had it bad for Javi before, but now you were pretty sure you were halfway in love with him, which was crazy.

You’d known him for three days.

Except you’d learned so much about each other in those days, your own weird version of speed dating that you had to admit was effective, and you knew in your heart that, without a doubt, there was some kind of future for the two of you. Maybe it wasn’t crazy; maybe it was just a little scary and new, falling for someone so quickly.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the bathroom door opening, Javi walking back towards you, and you took him in, admiring his body.

God, he was beautiful.

You wished you could burn the image in your brain, the messy hair, hickey on his neck, strong arms, ridiculous shoulder to waist ratio, and adorable softened tummy. You wanted to get your hands all over his tanned skin and touch as much of him as possible; your eyes went back to his face, and he had a knowing smirk on his lips as he crawled onto the bed next to you.

“If I weren’t already naked, I’d think you were undressing me with your eyes,” he quipped, setting the washcloth on the mattress next to you before rubbing his hand up your naked thigh.

You smiled.

“Hate to break it to you, babe, but you’re hot. I’m going to check you out any chance I get.”

“Yeah?” He leaned forward, hands grabbing the bottom of your dress that was rucked up around your hips. “I’d like to check you out. Up,” he said.

You complied, sitting up a little as he pulled it over your head and arms, tossing it to the floor.

His eyes were roving over all of the newly revealed skin, making heat rise up your neck as you worried your lip between your teeth.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he said, slightly awed, and any doubts you had about yourself vanished as your gazes met, and you could see the hungriness, the want, so clearly evident there in the coffee-colored pools. He picked up the washcloth. “Can I?” He asked.

You smiled, nodding in answer.

It was sweet that he wanted to take care of you. Normally guys gave you a dry towel or, on one memorable occasion, a Wham! concert t-shirt to clean yourself up with, so this was a nice change of pace.

You were surprised the cloth Javi used was warm and wet, realizing he took the time to make sure it was a comfortable temperature. When he finished and discarded the dirtied washcloth, you tugged him by the arm on top of you, kissing him hard as he chuckled against your mouth. This was when you gave in to your desires, touching him all over—his arms, shoulders, back, moving lower until you were grabbing handfuls of his ass, his mouth never leaving yours in open-mouth kisses. He had a hand on the back of your head, the other skating along the skin of your side, moving from your hip, up your rib cage, before palming your breast. The two of you were lost in the touches and kisses, not parting until there was a need for air, and then you were sharing panted breaths, foreheads resting against each other.

“I need to get up,” you said with a frown.

“That’s a good idea,” Javi replied, not needing you to elaborate and understanding. He pecked you on the lips, getting off you and out of bed. “I’ll get you a glass of water,” he said, looking at you fondly.

“Wow, hot towel treatment and complimentary water. You’re spoiling me, Javi.”

He smirked.

“Only the best for my girl,” he said, winking.

Your eyes widened.

“I’m your girl?” You asked softly.

“You’re my girl,” he said with a nod. His eyebrows furrowed, looking unsure. “If that’s okay with you?”

You grinned.

“Of course it’s okay with me. Is this your way of asking me to go steady? Be your girlfriend?”

He said the night before that you were the only person he was seeing, and all he needed was you, but you still had a tiny twinge of doubt that maybe it was too good to be true.

His hand was on his hip, a smile on his lips. “I guess it is. Yeah.” He ducked his head, scratching at the back of his neck with his free hand. “You, uh, wanna go steady with me?” He looked at you. “Fucking feel like I’m a teenager again, asking the prettiest girl in school if she’d be my girlfriend.”

“What did she say?”

“No,” he replied with a humorless chuckle. “Shot me down and made sure I knew I’d never have a chance.”

You frowned.

“Her loss.” You moved, getting out of the bed and standing in front of Javi, his hands immediately landing on your waist as you looped your arms around his neck. You looked up at him, his eyes on yours as you smiled. “I’ll happily be your girlfriend. You don’t have to ask me twice.”

The smile he gave you was beaming and boyish, eyes crinkling and dimple showing. His evident joy made you light up just as much, and then he kissed you hard, your eyes closing as you melted into it.

When it ended, he kissed your forehead, and you opened your eyes to find him looking at you with a hungry gaze.

“I’m going to get you water while you take care of yourself.” His voice went deeper, hands moving to grab your naked ass, pulling you closer to him, his cock half-hard against your stomach. “And then I’m going to make you come so many times the only coherent word out of your mouth is my name.”

“Fuck me,” you whispered.

“I will,” he said, quickly kissing you. He slapped one of your asscheeks, making you jump and gasp. “Go. I’ll be right back.” He kissed you again before heading towards the bedroom door. You watched him walk away, staring at his ass.

When he was out of view, you finally made your way to the bathroom, taking care of your needs. You looked at yourself in the mirror as you washed your hands, noting your appearance had a clearly just fucked look to it, and it made you smile. Your hair was a bit wild, makeup a mess, and lips puffy from all of the kissing. When you finished with your hands, you cleaned the makeup from your face. There was a delicious ache between your legs, and Javi’s promise had you wet, wanting him again. That seemed to be your constant state around him—wet and wanting, and now that you knew how his dick felt, it’d only worsen.

When you went back to the bedroom, there was a glass of water on the bedside table, and Javi was across the bed from you, standing at your window, his back towards you, looking through a little gap in the blinds outside. You picked up the cup, drinking half of it in one go, Javier turning to look at you.

“Please, drink the entire thing,” he said.

You held the glass in your hand, eyebrow lifting.

“Serious about hydration, I see.”

He huffed out a breath, smiling, his hands on his hips, weight to one side.

“Don’t need you becoming dehydrated.”

“It’s the fact that there’s a chance I could get dehydrated from having sex with you that’s really doing it for me.” You raised the water towards him. “To multiple orgasms and cream pies,” you said with a grin, Javi chuckling as you downed the rest of it. After setting the empty glass down, you crawled onto the bed, lying on your back with your head on a pillow. The bed dipped as Javi joined you, ending up with his hips between your legs, his body over yours, face hovering near your own. He was bracing himself on one arm, the other hand cradling your face as he looked at you with soft eyes.

“Hi,” he said, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek.

You smiled.

“Hello.”

He kissed you softly.

“Figured I should get the greeting out of the way,” he murmured against your mouth.

Your laugh turned into a moan when he nipped at your bottom lip, soothing it with his tongue. He kissed you softly again and again, but the need, the want, became too much, and soft presses of the lips became more fervent and consuming, his tongue sliding into your mouth. Your hands were in his hair, pulling on it, making him groan, as he trailed his hand down your neck and chest, massaging your breast and plucking at your hardened nipple, shooting jolts of pleasure to your pussy. You could feel your arousal dripping from your core, and his hard cock against you leaking against your belly.

“Touch me,” you gasped between kisses.

“Patience,” he responded, kissing along your jaw and biting at your chin. He moved lower, sucking at your throat hard enough to leave a mark, and that’s how he continued, moving down your body, licking and sucking at your skin, marking you with love bites and making you moan. He focused on your breasts, sucking at your nipples, jolts of pleasure shooting to your core. He went from one to the other, lightly biting at them, your pussy throbbing, body hot, as you whimpered.

He came off your nipple with a ‘pop.’

“Love your tits,” he said. He looked at you, hand on your breast as he fondled it, pinching at the bud. “Will you let me fuck them one day?” He asked. You suddenly had the image of him doing just that, and you moaned out a yes. “Not today,” he said. “Want to bury myself in your pussy and pump you full of me.” His mouth latched back onto your skin as he continued his path down your body, kissing all over your belly, his hands smoothing across any skin they could touch. You felt like he was worshipping you, each kiss and touch an offering, and it was driving you wild. You were overcome with it all, panting, wanting, needing him to touch your center.

“Please,” you begged when it became too much.

He looked at you.

“Patience,” he said again, and you groaned.

He bit at your hip, and then his head was between your legs, and hope swelled in your chest that he’d finally touch you. He held your thigh in his hand, turning his head to kiss the inside of your knee, moving upwards, kissing and biting at the skin hard enough to leave marks, getting closer and closer to your dripping core. You were pent up and needy as his face hovered over your cunt; feeling his hot breath as he inhaled and exhaled, close enough that if he stuck out his tongue, he could—he turned his head, mouth latching onto your other thigh, making you whine, fingers digging into the blanket as he sucked hard on your skin.

“Javi,” you whined.

He hummed in acknowledgment.

“Need me to touch your pussy, Hermosa?” He asked.

You nodded. “Yes.”

Finally, finally, his hand was on you, spreading open your glistening lips.

“Look at how wet and puffy you are.” He started thumbing your clit with his other hand, and you jolted at the sudden spark of pleasure, a moan slipping from your throat. He leaned in, swiping his tongue from your entrance up to his thumb, groaning. “Fuck, you taste good.” His hands left you to push your thighs open wider, opening you for him, and then his mouth was descending, licking up the length of your seam, speeding up with each pass of his tongue. It felt amazing, the coil winding tight in your belly, toes curling as he dipped his tongue inside, fucking you with it, driving you wild, gasping out breaths. He went back to licking through your folds, groaning at your taste, the sound vibrating against you. He grabbed your hands from the bed, putting them on his head, and you tangled your fingers in his hair. Your clit throbbed each time he passed it; you were sweating, panting, and when he latched onto your nub, your back arched, gasping his name as you finally came, Javi drinking down your release.

He worked you through it, letting you come down from your high gently, and when your breaths evened out, he went to work again. He’d somehow mastered your body, knowing exactly what to do to have you heading towards another orgasm, and his expertise shook you. He pushed two fingers easily into you, already stretched, making you moan at the intrusion as he sucked on your clit, and when he found that spot inside you that made your brain blank, you bucked your hips against his mouth and pulled his hair. Javi held down your waist with his arm as he pushed you towards release, rubbing that spot in earnest as his mouth worked. The overwhelming pleasure overtook you, Javi’s name falling from your lips as your grip tightened, needing something to tether you to Earth, as you felt like your body was floating away.

Javi kissed up your body, hands rubbing along your sides, until he captured your lips in a heated kiss that had you moaning as you tasted yourself.

“Your mouth,” you said between kisses.

“You like it?” He asked, you feeling him smiling against your lips.

“Yes. Need you inside now.”

He chuckled at your neediness, moving back to kneel between your legs. You watched as he grabbed his length with one hand, the other on your thigh as he rubbed the tip against your clit, before he was pushing inside, his eyes on where he was feeding himself into you. You both moaned as he sheathed himself in one thrust, the feeling of fullness overtaking you, making your cunt throb.

“I can’t get enough of this,” Javi said, voice strained. “You take me so well, Hermosa.”

He felt so fucking good inside, stretching you open, filling you perfectly, and you didn’t think you could ever tire from the way he felt. Javi started with slow thrusts, watching himself move in and out of you, making you whimper, before he pushed your knees up your chest, changing the angle to have him rubbing against that blinding spot that had your mouth falling open. You were moaning loudly, your orgasm building, setting your body aflame, as he sped up, hard slaps of his hips against yours, grunting with the exertion. You were so lost in the sensations that it caught you off guard when you hit your peak, gasping out his name in surprise as you came around him.

“So fucking good for me,” Javi groaned. “You get so fucking wet when you come.”

He suddenly pulled out of you, using his strength to flip you onto your stomach, pulling your hips up, smoothing a hand down your spine until it was holding onto the back of your neck as he entered you again, making you moan.

You’d told him on the phone you’d wanted it face down, ass up, and here you were as he went for it, giving you exactly what you asked for. He was relentless, pounding into you, your moans stuttered by each hard thrust, the hand not on your neck kneading the meat of your ass.

The room was filled with a soundtrack of your passion; the headboard slamming against the wall, the rhythmic slapping of his skin against yours, the grunts and moans. Anyone would know what was going on; the two of you, unashamed with the noises you were making, lost in each other, enjoying one another.

You were overwhelmed by the onslaught, loving every moment, his cock pistoning into you, punching the breath from your lungs. You were blissed out, drooling as you took it, feeling yourself racing towards another orgasm, knowing it was coming.

“Come for me, Hermosa,” he grunted. “Let go.”

Half a dozen more thrusts, and you were falling over the edge, moaning incoherently, as you clenched hard around his cock, making his hips stutter.

“That’s it,” he rasped, voice deep. “That’s my good girl.”

You felt like your legs would give out, the orgasmic haze coming over you. Javi’s arm wrapped around your chest, pulling you against him, holding you up as he ground his hips into you. You put a hand on his larger one placed over your heart, lacing your fingers together, as your other grabbed his hip behind you.

His lips were against your ear, hot breath and mustache tickling it, as his free hand moved to the apex of your thighs, fingers working against your swollen nub.

“One more, baby,” he grunted. “Give me one more.”

You didn’t think it was possible, your body already coursing with so much pleasure, waves upon waves of it flowing through you. The only thing your mind could focus on was Javier and how he was surrounding and filling you, chanting his name in breathless moans like a prayer. He was grinding into you, the push and pull of his cock along with his fingers building you up until you shattered, the dam breaking, coming hard, as you dripped around him.

“So fucking good for me,” he groaned deep against your ear, drunk on pleasure. “Fucking perfect, mi amor.”

His hips sped up as he chased his high, breath panting against you before he was pulling your head to the side, lips crashing on yours in a desperate, open-mouth kiss. He was close, thrusts becoming erratic, and then he pushed in deep, spilling inside with a groan against your mouth. You could feel him pulsing inside you, the warmth of his spend filling you as his hips continued to grind.

You had a sheen of sweat all over your body, the two of you sharing hard breaths as his hips finally came to a stop, his body flush against yours, his arms the only thing keeping you upright.

You both stayed like that for a minute, Javi gently kissing your mouth and rubbing a hand down your ribcage to your hip and back up again, comforting touches to help ground you.

His head moved away from yours as he laid you both down on your sides, still joined, his cock now soft inside you. You were content, comfortable, mind still feeling floaty as you basked in the afterglow, not wanting to move. He pushed the hair away from your neck, kissing at the skin of it and your shoulder, his fingers drawing circles on your hip.

It was minutes before either of you said anything. You heard him say something, but your mind didn’t process the words.

“What?” You mumbled.

“Can you walk?” He asked, sounding amused.

You frowned, opening your eyes.

“Can I—” You trailed off as you did an inventory of your body, realizing your legs were shaking, and Javier was definitely aware of this fact. “You are a menace.”

He laughed, pressing a kiss to your neck and hugging you against him.

“Yes, laugh at the poor woman you incapacitated with your dick,” you said.

He snorted, pulling out of you and moving to have you laying on your back as he laid on his side beside you, hand cupping your face as he looked you in the eyes.

“I’m sorry, Cielito,” he said, not looking the least bit apologetic.

“No, you’re not.”

His lips tipped up. “No, I’m not.”

You sighed wistfully. “It was really good, though.”

“You think so?” He asked with a raised brow.

“Yeah. Is it… is it always like this?” You asked, curious.

You’d never been with a man so determined to make you come. If the guy was decent, it was once, maybe twice if you were lucky, but Javi came out of the gate with three and only went up from there.

“Is what?” His eyebrows furrowing.

“The multiple orgasms. Is this a thing you always do, or is it just because it’s our first night? Which would be fine,” you said quickly. “I mean, I hoped for one, and you definitely exceeded my hopes and dreams.”

“Depends on how much time I have,” he said.

“I’m going to need you to elaborate.”

“Quickies? I’m going for two. If I can take my time, then there’s really no set number,” he said it so matter-of-factly, with such confidence, your mouth fell open, and he had the audacity to smirk.

It made your blood heat at this new piece of knowledge, but what else could you expect? He’d proven over and over and over again that he was very intimately familiar with the female form, and there was something about the competence and expertise that really turned you on.

“That’s good to know,” you said slowly. You paused, a thought coming to you. “You’re really into getting your partners off, aren’t you?”

“Makes me hard as a fucking rock.”

That made you giggle.

“Great guy with great dick game; I must have done something right to luck out so much.”

He had a thoughtful expression on his face, eyes softening, his thumb stroking your cheek, making you melt into his touch. “You help people,” he said softly. “Are selfless—caring and sweet, funny as fuck and sexy as hell, and you make me feel like I’m a good person even when I doubt it. You’re fucking perfect, Cielito, and deserve some good dick, and I’ll happily provide it anytime you ask.”

You took in his words, feeling your chest get tight, warmth radiating through your body as you processed them. This gave you a glimpse into how he saw you and what he thought about you, and it was a little daunting, but also sweet. You’d never think of yourself as perfect—you knew you had flaws just like everyone else—yet Javi saw the best in you. He was precious, and you were now positive you were definitely halfway in love with him, and the thought didn’t scare you like it had before.

“Are you saying dick on demand?” You asked.

“Anytime, Cielito,” he said, leaning in to slant his mouth against yours, kissing you, then ending it with a nip to your bottom lip, making you gasp. He pulled back, eyes moving to the clock on the bedside table. “We missed the movie, but we could get dinner?” He asked, looking at you questioningly.

You knew your answer without even thinking. “I could make us something? I’d much rather stay here with you.”

“I don’t want to make you cook on our date,” he said.

You waved away his concern. “I want to cook for you. It’s no big deal.”

He didn’t look convinced. “What if I help?”

You smiled. “You can help. Now that we’re talking about food, I’m realizing I’m hungry and also in desperate need of a shower.”

He looked hopeful.

“Can I join you?” He asked.

“Yes. Absolutely.”

He smacked your thigh lightly. “Let’s go,” he said, getting up from the bed, and making you giggle as you did the same, happy when your legs didn’t give out as you stood.

Javi was at your side instantly, and you grabbed his hand, pulling him into your en suite.

You’d lucked out with this apartment—a decently sized one bedroom, one bathroom with a spacious walk-in shower, and a bathtub. Two people could easily fit inside the shower stall.

You let go of his hand to open the door to the stall and turn on the water, the sound of the shower spray filling the room as it cascaded from the showerhead to the tile below.

Javier was at your back, his lips on your shoulder and arms wrapped around your abdomen, making it hard to focus as you checked the temperature, waiting for it to get warm enough. You sighed when his mouth made it to your neck, eyes closing as he kissed up behind your ear, making your core clench as a tingle went down your spine.

“Keep that up, and we’re not going to make it into the shower,” you said.

He chuckled, the warm breaths hitting your skin.

His lips were at the shell of your ear. “I’ve never fucked on a bathroom floor,” he purred. “I could bend you over the counter, and you could watch us in the mirror.”

“Fuck, Javi,” you moaned, imagining the scenario in your head; him railing you from behind, seeing both of your faces, the pleasure, the build, the climax. Your pussy throbbed, your body heating up. You opened your eyes, quickly checking the water with your hand, satisfied it wasn’t too terribly hot.

You turned in his embrace, putting your arms around his neck, and leaned up to smash your mouth against his. You pushed your tongue into his mouth when he groaned, swallowing the sound. He was holding you as you pulled him into the shower, and under the spray, the water prickling against the sides of your bodies. You were both breathing hard when you parted, pulling back to look at each other. His hair was wet and sticking to his forehead, and you couldn’t help yourself when you pushed a hand through it, feeling the soft, thick strands under your fingers, his eyes closing and throat bobbing at the touch.

It hit you then that he was completely naked and standing in front of you, and suddenly that urge to touch his body—explore it—became overwhelming.

“Can I touch you?” You asked, voice just loud enough to make out over the roaring water.

His eyes opened, head tilting.

“You can do whatever you want to me, Cielito.”

The sincerity in his words blanketed over you, making you warm, and a smile turned up on your lips. You leaned up to quickly peck him on the lips, and then your hands were on his shoulders, rubbing them and marveling at their width.

“I’ve never been turned on by shoulders before, so this is new,” you said, and it made him smile.

“My shoulders turn you on?”

“Oh yeah. It’s the broadness, just something about it.” Your hands moved down his limbs, squeezing his upper arms. “I love your arms, too. The way you easily manhandled me? So sexy.” You reached behind you to grab his hands from your body, bringing them in front of you. You rubbed your thumbs over his knuckles. “Will you put your hands up? I wanna look at them.”

He did as you asked, putting them up, palms facing you. You set your own on his, taking in the way that they were so much bigger than your own, dwarfing them almost. And the thickness of his fingers.

“I could write a dissertation about your hands,” you said truthfully, making him chuckle. You moved your own, leaning in to press a kiss to the center of each of his. “They’re very talented,” you said. You laced your fingers with his. “They’re strong and rough, but you do such gentle and tender things with them. I dream about your fingers,” you said with a wistful sigh.

He had a look on his face that you couldn’t quite pinpoint, his eyes rounded, eyebrows lifted a little bit, lips slightly turned up. You watched as he brought your joined hands to his face, turning it to kiss its back, one hand then the other, making that feeling of adoration burn brightly in your veins.

“I like your hands too,” he said.

You softened at the look on his face. “Really?” you asked with a smile.

“Yeah.” He nodded.

You untangled your fingers and set his palms on your hips. Leaning up on your toes, you kissed the taut skin of his neck at the base of his throat, leaning back to look at him, his eyes watching you curiously.

“Your neck?” You said as a question.

His adam’s apple bobbed.

“You like my neck?” He said, sounding unsure.

You ran a hand up his chest, to the side of his neck, resting there, feeling his pulse thrumming under your fingers quicker than a normal heart rate.

“It makes me wet,” you said.

He puffed out a breath.

“You’re joking.”

“If I didn’t have your come leaking out of me, I could show you the proof,” you answered with a wink.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

You giggled, smoothing both your hands along his chest, feeling the muscle of his pecs. You couldn’t help yourself, leaning in and sucking on his nipple, making him jolt and gasp out shit.

“I’ll remember that for later,” you said. “I feel the same way about your chest as I do your shoulders.” You went lower hands over his ribs, to his tummy, and you bent down, pressing kisses all over it, feeling Javi suck in a breath. You were close enough to his cock to know it was half-hard, which delighted you. You lightly bit at his belly, looking up at him to find him watching you. “I love your stomach,” you said, kissing it again. His eyes were rounded again, pupils getting wider, lips slightly parted. You nipped at his hip, hands on his thighs. You brought your face in front of his dick, panting your breath over it, watching it get harder, before turning your head and sucking his inner thigh hard enough to leave a mark.

A strangled, “Cielito,” fell from Javi’s mouth, and you smiled against his skin, coming off it and looking up at him, hands working up and down his thighs.

His eyes were no longer chocolate brown but black with desire—hungry—full of unsaid promise that had your cunt clenching as you gulped.

Maybe you were playing with fire, but you were curious what would happen, how far you could go without touching him where he wanted.

“Patience,” you said sweetly, and his eyes narrowed.

You knew he was watching you as you moved again, bringing your head in front of his now straining cock, bobbing from his hips. You ghosted your breath over the tip, dipping lower, and right when it was about to touch your lips, you moved your head to his other thigh, sucking another mark into his skin, making him whine.

“Your thighs are sexy,” you said, kissing up his inner thigh, grabbing hold of his hips, and making him turn so his back was to you. You stood up, putting your hands on his shoulders again.

“What are you doing?” He asked, and you could hear him frowning.

“Admiring your body,” you said, smoothing across his shoulder blades. “God, you have a nice back.” You pressed a kiss to his spine and felt him shiver. You kept your hands on his skin, warm and supple beneath your palms, moving lower and lower until you were getting at eye level with his ass. You grabbed handfuls of it, massaging it.

“Cielito,” he said, in a way that was almost a warning, and it made you smile.

“I’m admiring,” you said. You squeezed before quickly replacing one hand on his asscheek with your mouth, biting lightly and sucking hard, making Javi jump.

He turned suddenly, your mouth detaching from him, as he pulled you up by the arms, backing you against the shower wall as he crushed his mouth against yours in a hungry kiss. He had a hand lightly on your throat, the other squeezing your hip, as his tongue invaded your mouth when you moaned.

This was one of those times where the unbridled passion was overflowing, igniting a flame in your belly that you knew would build into something uncontrollable and consuming. You matched his intensity, hands pulling on his hair, as your lips, tongues, and teeth clashed. His hand on your hip moved between your legs, Javi immediately spearing two thick fingers into you easily, making you gasp against his mouth, arching into him. His thumb worked your clit, as he pumped his digits, the come inside you making his fingers glide in and out.

His mouth didn’t leave yours as his digits worked, swallowing your moans. The flame was building, and your mind focused on the sensations—his mouth, his tongue, his fingers—all of them combined, fanning the flames, scorching you from the inside out. He crooked his fingers, and you swore you saw stars when he hit that one spot that only he could find. You were on the precipice of your body being consumed by an inferno, right on the edge, cunt beginning to spasm when his mouth and fingers suddenly left you. You were shocked as your pending orgasm slipped away, eyes opening and a whine escaping your throat.

You only had a second to look at Javi before his hands were on your body, turning you, and pulling your body flush against his front, feeling the hard line of his cock pressed against your lower back. His hands were roaming all over your front, touching any available skin on your abdomen, massaging your breasts, and plucking at your nipples, making you whimper, your eyes closed.

His breath and mustache were tickling your ear as he spoke. “I’ve got you, Cielito,” Javi said. “I’m going to make you feel good. Do you trust me?”

You nodded quickly, replying yes because you did trust him. You knew that whatever he was going to do would be worth it.

“Good girl,” he purred, lightly biting at your neck.

He had one hand tweaking a nipple while the other moved down your front, your body still on edge, his touches sending sparks down your spine. When his fingers landed on your swollen clit, you moaned loudly as your knees went weak. Javi’s arm held you up and against him as his other hand worked your sensitive bundle of nerves with practiced motions, making you mumble and moan, your body vibrating with sensation as your climax came back into view very quickly.

“Tell me when you’re about to come,” he rasped against your ear. “Can you do that for me, baby? Please tell me.”

You had Javi caging you against his body, enveloping you in his warmth, his hard cock against your back, fingers on your pussy, and breathing in your ear. The air was thick with steam as the hot water rained down on you both, and the only thing your brain could focus on was the impending orgasm—craving it, needing it.

You were so caught up in the building pleasure you barely had time to warn him.

“I’m coming,” you moaned. “I’m coming.”

His fingers left you immediately, making you gasp at the sudden loss, your hands grabbing onto his thighs and squeezing. Your whole body was tingling, goosebumps on your skin, nipples hard, and feeling like there was an electric current coursing through your body that had the potential to explode. You were panting out breaths, pussy throbbing with need, and you’d never wanted to come so bad before.

“I know,” Javi said, kissing the shell of your ear. “I know. You’re doing so good for me, Cielito.”

You didn’t think you could take anymore.

“Please, Javi,” you begged. “Please let me come.”

“Okay, baby,” he said. “Such a good fucking girl.”

You moaned loudly when he easily pushed two fingers back inside you, pussy obscenely wet. His arm over your chest was the only thing keeping you standing, with your legs feeling like they’d give out. His thumb was on your clit as he pumped his fingers, rubbing circles against the sensitive nub.

You were so pent up, so on edge, that the flame in your belly was roaring, your body burning with pleasure. You were babbling incoherently, fingers digging into the skin of Javi’s thighs for purchase, as he worked you over. He pushed in a third finger, and you moaned his name, hearing the wet squelch of your pussy taking his fingers over the sound of the shower. Gasping moans left your lips, and when he crooked his fingers, rubbing furiously over your g-spot, that was it, you erupted, the orgasm exploding through your body—vision whiting out, screaming Javi’s name, a wave of warmth gushing over his fingers and out of you.

You slumped in his hold, body completely relaxing, as you caught your breath. You were in a state of euphoria you’d never been in before, not even sure if you were still in your body. You could feel Javi’s mouth kissing your shoulder and neck, an arm holding you up, while his free hand rubbed comfortingly over your body, his lips whispering words against your skin your mind couldn’t comprehend just yet.

You weren’t sure how long it took before you could stand on your own. Your eyes opened, your brain finally working again.

“I think my soul left my body,” you said, voice hoarse from screaming.

Javi laughed against your skin, arms hugging you against him.

“That happens when you squirt,” he said.

Your eyes widened, moving to look over your shoulder at his face. He was smiling, eyes crinkling at the edges, and pupils blown wide.

“Excuse me. I, what?”

“You heard me. You drenched my hand, and it was so fucking hot, I almost came.” He brought a hand up to hold the back of your head as he leaned in to kiss you on the lips. “Did so good for me,” he said against your mouth. He pulled back, looking you in the eyes. “Are your legs shaky?” He asked.

Your eyes narrowed.

“I’m asking for a reason, not because I need validation,” he quickly added with a chuckle.

“Surprisingly, they’re fine now,” you said suspiciously, curious about his intention. “It was touch and go for a minute.”

You could see the want in the depths of his eyes and feel the hard line of his cock against your back, wetness on your skin from his arousal.

“Can I fuck you?” He asked.

Your cunt clenched painfully hard around nothing at the question, and even though minutes before you were having the most mind-blowing orgasm of your entire life, the thought of having his dick inside you sounded amazing.

You nodded. “Yes,” you said. “Please.”

He smiled, kissing you quickly, then he grabbed your hands from his thighs, turning you towards the opposite wall of the showerhead, bending you forward, and putting your palms on the wall.

He curled over your back, his mouth at your ear, blocking the water from hitting you.

“My greedy girl.” He lightly bit your shoulder. “Always hungry for my cock.”

"Yes."

He moved back, stroking his hard length through your wetness, coating himself in it before pushing in, the two of you moaning in unison as he filled you in one smooth stroke.

He paused when he bottomed out, and your body was awash in pleasure over the way he felt inside, stretching your walls, and filling you to the brim. You clenched around him, gasping out breaths, as you savored the feeling, loving every second.

“How are you this warm and wet?” Javi groaned. “Can feel your pussy fluttering. Fuck, it feels too fucking good.”

His hands were grasping your hips tight enough to leave bruises as he pulled almost all the way out and thrust back in, knocking the wind from your lungs. He knew how you liked it, setting a steady and hard rhythm, his hips slapping against yours.

Moans and grunts could be heard over the sound of the raining water, and it surprised you when you felt an orgasm building with each crash of his body against yours, taking you higher and higher, panting breaths and moans, winding you up until you were on the edge.

You were almost there, could feel it just in reach.

Javier got his hand at your front, circling his fingers over your swollen clit.

“I know you’re almost there,” he panted. “Come for me, Hermosa. Let me have it.”

His fingers were what did it, the stimulation making you crest with a gasp, pussy clenching around his hard cock.

The pleasure rippled through your body like a wave, softer than your previous orgasm, and welcome as it flowed through your limbs and made you tingle all over, enjoying the feeling washing over you.

“Fuck yes,” he grunted.

He chased his own high as you came down, his thrusts speeding up until he pushed in hard, painting your walls with a deep, rumbling groan, hips grinding his come deep inside.

He fell forward, blanketing your back with himself, feeling his chest rising and falling in hard breaths against you.

“Shit, that’s good,” he slurred, face nestled between your shoulder blades.

“Careful. You’re going to become addicted.” You giggled.

He huffed out a breath. “Too late. I’m already addicted to you.”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“I was talking about cream pies,” you said.

“Addicted to those, too.” He kissed your back and stood up. “Sorry for falling on you.”

You snorted. “It’s okay.”

He pulled you up against him, hugging you to his chest. “Knocks me on my ass when I come inside you. The best fucking thing.” He pulled out of you with a hiss and turned you in his arms, tilting your chin up so he could look you in the eyes. “You okay?” He asked, a soft, sincere look on his face.

You smiled, warmth swimming around in your chest.

“I’m wonderful.”

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Yes.” You leaned up and kissed him. “Let’s clean up and go eat,” you said when you parted. “I need energy if you’re planning on more of this tonight.”

“Water, also,” he smirked. “I’m serious about hydration, remember?”

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[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz/dbo 22.05.17 lb

holy shit this legit took me like 3 hours to complete. fuck meeeeeeeeee. i’m very smol and tired, i can’t handle this amount of drama on the daily yougaiz. fairly sure this week of episodes IS GOING TO KILL ME DEAD. 😥😥😥

plain text version here. 

FOR FUCKS SAKE SOMEONE GIVE RUDRA NEW CLOTHES, KAB TAK IS COCKROACH KA KHAAYA HUA TSHIRT PEHNE HUE GHOOMEGA???? HE’S AN OBEROI. THEY’RE RICH. KUCH TOH IMAGE KA KHAYAAL RAKHO! 😒😒😒

…how is NT rich enough to arrange for a BOMB? like… that stuff costs money. also specialised labour to put it together. 🤔🤔🤔

yeah you’d know what the chakkar was if you bothered keeping in touch with your poor older brother who’s handling EVERYTHING alone. hmph. 😑😑😑

such tadi, much style, waaah. 😎😎😎

5 minutes for dramatic posturing. while sahil is in danger. praan jaaye par swag na jaaye. 😏😏😏

shivani has transferred her buri nazar to kunal these days, by now putting HIM in these awful boxy vest waistcoat things, that make him look like he has a winnie the pooh body. COME ON MAN!!!!!! LAANAT HAI TUMPE FOR MAKING MY HANDSOME BOY LOOK LIKE THIS. 😩😩😩

for once, shivaay called a brother for backup. FOR ONCE. matlab itne bhai paal ke kyun rakha hai, agar kaam na aaye? 🙄🙄🙄

PICK UP YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. RUDRA HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😣😣😣

yuppppp, these vans are desi kidnapper vehicle of choice. to this day i’m terrified whenever i see one. 😕😕😕

OMG KHANNA ACTUALLY USING HIS BRAIN??? OH HAPPY DAY. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

… of course, shivaay ignores him on that one day. 😒😒😒

um, if you die, who tf is gonna save sahil? honestly shivaay, you’re so damn stupid sometimes. 😑😑😑

great, not one, but both are being stupid today. 

but i’ve come to expect it of om after how he’s been just walking into havelis with ppl who wanna kill him and just getting lured into cages and shit. you used to be the smartest boy, om. oh how the mighty have fallen. 😔😔😔

GOD FORBID KHANNA ACTUALLY DO HIS DUTY AND OPEN THE FUCKING VAN HIMSELF!?!?!?! 😒😒😒

ok they were still waaaay toooo close for them to be uninjured by a whole van blowing up. 😶😶😶 

also what if sahil was IN the fucking vannnnnnnn you motherfucking idiots?!!?!?!?! god i am so angry at all of you rn. DON’T BE PLAYING WITH MY CHILD’S LIFE LIKE THIS!!!!! 😡😡😡

oh. nowwww he thinks about if sahil was in it. ekkkkkkk jhaap mein… 😤😤😤

ugh return of the insufferable shivaay of yore. NO. WE DON’T LIKE THIS BOY. WE LIKE NEW SHIVAAY™. SOFT AND SELF AWARE SHIVAAY WHO TALKS IN FIRST PERSON. 😌😌😌

i’m sweatingggggg like cray just looking at the SWEATER kunal is wearing. shivani, y u hate my boys lyk dis? 😟😟😟

oBro hugzzzzzzzz. better than drugssss. 😊😊😊

is this same basti where they did poster hunt? 🤔🤔🤔

anika got her game face onnnn. 😏😏😏

oufffffff, NT is starting to get on nerves now. khatam karo yaaar yeh track. 😠😠😠

anika’s playing real estate agent in own house. best. 🙄🙄🙄

BITCH WHAT YOU SAYYYYYYY ABOUT SAHILLLLLLLLLLL 😡😡😡

look at SHIVAAAAAAAY SINGH OBEROIIIIII take the help of unsavoury looking members of public! 😧😧😧

11 saal??? how the f did sahil age 4 years in these few months??? 😯😯😯

if this lady is just a parent of some friend of sahil’s, how would she know sahil has taken SPECIAL CHUTTI from boarding school???? 🤔🤔🤔

behenji ki battiiiiiiii jali. 💡💡💡

BAAD MEIN PHONE KAROGI? HELLO, WHAT ABOUT AKSHAY???? HE HAS TO CUT HIS BIRTHDAY CAKE!!!!!!! 🎂🎂🎂

mmmm cake. i could use some cake rn. 😋😋😋

she hasssssss the magic powerrrrrr of THOUGHT. 😒😒😒

you know NOWWWWW. abhi gila shikwa karne se kya faida? 😐😐😐

“tum ro kyun rahi ho??? roti hui bilkul achchi nahi lagti.”

OH UM MAYBE COZ HER BROTHER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED? I THINK IT’S PRETTY APPROPRIATE TO CRY. 😒😒😒

ALSO WHO GIVES A F ABOUT KAISI “LAGTI HOON” WHEN MY FUCKING BROTHER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED?!?!?!? FUCK OFF WITH YOUR BS STANDARDS OF BEAUTY BRO! 😠😠😠

ohhhh hoooooooo, redemptionnnnnnnnn track. 😏😏😏

… how did he just convert a regular phone call into a SKYPE video chat??? 🤔🤔🤔

OMG. HE’S IN THE PAANI. BECAUSE OF NT KA TAAAAIRNE WAALA STATEMENT. 😧😧😧

…. ok suddenly its NIGHT now? 😐😐😐

snort, om came home and instantly got caught up in his own issues. sahil who? bomb blast what? 😂😂😂

why does jhanvi have oxygen cylinder and mask just… lying around in her room? 🤔🤔🤔

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THE F THE FAKE SVETLANA IS? LIKE… IS SHE A KAPOOR OR NOT? AND HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN IN THIS DISGUISE? WAS THIS FAKE ONE THE ONE WE SAW FROM THE START IN IB, OR DID SHE REPLACE THIS ONE SOMETIME IN THE MIDDLE? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONSSSSSSSS AND NO ANSWERS!!!!!! 😩😩😩

why is real svetlana dressed like an airhostess? 😕😕😕

“main shaadi-shuda hoon. mujhpe dore daalna bandh karo." 

svetlana’s BITCH PLEASE face at that lmaooooo. 😂😂😂

pft, you’ve been failing at EVERYTHING for the past 3 months, om. leave the smug overconfidence to your big bro who actually does get things right occasionally. 🙄🙄🙄

why the f should there be FOOTPRINTS on marble/tile flooring????? 🤔🤔🤔

fauxlana is (relatively) smart. i like. 😌😌😌

pft, don’t be making awaiiiii ka regret face for red herring purposes. we know you got him. you wouldn’t return otherwise. 🙄🙄🙄

damnnnn, reyhna is so fucking gorgeous. i am in loveeeeeeee. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

lol ok real-lana’s bholi bhaali way of talking is kinda throwing me off. 😆😆😆

amazing how she’s been comatose in a freezer for god knows how long, but her memory and muscle function and all are A-OK! 😊😊😊

meanwhile, i struggle to move my goddamn limbs and form a coherent thought without even having been thrown in a freezer. 😖😖😖

aaaaaaaaaaand gauri is out. 😐😐😐

glucose daale bina hi, magically the glass of glucose paani got made. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 

this outfit of gauri’s looks pretty much like that white salwar of anika’s that she sleeps in these days, no? 😗😗😗

LOL FAUXLANA AND THIS FREEZER OF HERS. 😂😂😂

the scene changes are too fucking abrupt ok. 😕😕😕

come on, this child is not 11. look how tinguuuuuu he is. my little cupcake. i could eat him up in just oneeee bite. 👶🏽👶🏽👶🏽

WHATCHOO DOING JUST STANDING THERE, GET IN THE HUGGGG, BROOOO. 😚😚😚

YAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!! 😊😊😊

LOOK AT MY LITTLE FAMILY. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO PERFECT. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

wow, she just gave it away instantly WHERE gauri is. 😐😐😐

… what temperature range can a FREEZER have that a human being can stay alive in? science side of tumblr, please help. 🤔🤔🤔

"tumhari biwi JAM KE mar jaayegi" 

lol idk why that sentence is making me lol. 😂😂😂

why does he care about gauri all of a sudden now? he was perfectly fine leaving her to die/be raped and tortured at kali thakur’s. 😒😒😒

ok fauxlana is LOSING it. 😬😬😬

arre waah, fond flashbacks. apna bhai pighal raha hai. 😏😏😏

ok and what did throwing that bottle even accomplish? also how did fauxlana move before he even threw it, if she was super engrossed in her badle ki bhaavna waala lecture? 😒😒😒

arre idiot, if you had a gun, pehle hi istemaal kar deti uska. 🙄🙄🙄

amazing how both the omkara waala scene and anika waala scene are supposed to be happening in the SAME LOCATION of oberoi mansion (the foyer in front of the main door), but… nope. 😕😕😕

it’s really like they exist in some different realms or something. 😐😐😐

pfffffffft. “angry aur young” hone ka bas tune theka le rakha is ghar mein? 🙄🙄🙄

why did they show a smoking disclaimer when no one is smoking in the scene?? 🤔🤔🤔

heaaaaaaaavvvvy foreshadowing that shivaay isn’t pinky’s beta. 🙈🙈🙈

ouffff oh, this idiot still doesn’t know of mummeh’s involvement. yaaaaaar, by the end of this week at least? please? 😩😩😩

also kaaahe ka mahasangam???? bas IB and DBO ka episode has been edited together into one video instead of two different ones. none of the characters are interacting aapas mein beyond that one oBro scene. the rest of the week better not be like this is2g. 😠😠😠😤😤😤

roleeeeeeeeee playinggggg. againnnnnn. this man is incorrigible. 😏😏😏

bewakoofi toh yeh february se hi dikhaata aa raha hai.  matlab kuch dino ke liye shivaay ki nazar isse hatti, aur isne bas apna hi nahi, SABKI life ki OH MY MAATA kar rakha hai. 😒😒😒

paanch minute? timer says 1 minute and few seconds though? honestly. why wouldn’t you pay attention to shit like this, production team? 😒😒😒

BUAAAAA MAAAA TO THE RESCUE. 👵🏽👵🏽👵🏽

lmao gauri developing freezer burn like she’s a bag of frozen peas. 😂😂😂

WHERE DOES FAUXLANA KEEP PULLING THESE MULTIPLE SYRINGES FROM?????? 😟😟😟

ok the timer on that thing is def broken. 😐😐😐

lmaoooooo fauxlana’s impatience and side-eyeing om’s uselessness is so me. 😂😂😂

ALSO GIRL YES, YOU HAVE A GUN, WHY THE F WOULDN’T YOU JUST SHOOT HER?????? LIKE… 🤔🤔🤔

ABBE OHHHH HERO, APNI BIWI KO BACHA. NOT THIS RANDOM FREEZER GIRL WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE YOUR FATHER’S MISTRESS. 😑😑😑

… lol whatever om, you think she gives a rat’s ass about you? your ass will die first then. 😂😂😂

JUST SHOOT HIM FAUXLANA! 😫😫😫

lol idek what team i am on anymore. i’m just all the teams i guess lololol. 😂😂😂

LMAOOOOOOO JAANE NAHI DENGE TUJHE AGAIN. THE FUCKKKKK, HOW MANY TIMES WILL THEY USE THIS SONGGGGGGGG? 😅😅😅

they should have just played ‘saathiya’. it’s more hearttttwrenching than this stupid song. 😐😐😐

please note: her freezer burn is magically gone. 😗😗😗

pffffffffft, CPR as kissssss scene is coming up. MAJORRRR eye rolling happening here, but also some involuntary squeeing. because despite all logic and sane thinking, dil toh hai dil, dil ka aitbaaar kya kiiiije. 🤐🤐🤐

lol uske beech mein fauxlana - buamaa theatrics. could you ppl let me focus???? 😑😑😑

lolllllllllll they had time to script and film this with real-lana in the middle of all this. amazing. 😑😑😑 

buamaa toh badi shaatir nikli. maybe shivaay gets it from her? 😊😊😊

oufff oh, iska abhi tak GAURI UTHO GAURI UTHO ka jaap hi chal raha hai. abbe jo karna hai, kissy wissy jo bhi hai, kar na. awaiiii ka time waste. 😒😒😒 

i could be watching shivaay/anika going about their kinky roleplaying in this time. hmph. 😤😤😤

first of all, is om even trained in CPR? like… why does HE have to give it to her? buamaa seems knowledgeable about it, why can’t she do it? 😕😕😕

lmaoooooooooooo omg fauxlana leaning to the side to see better as om approaches gauri. 

when your otp are about to kiss. #relatable 

ok are you ppl aware that the actual important part of CPR is the chest compression bit, not the mouth to mouth? in fact, people who aren’t trained in CPR are recommended to use ONLY chest compressions. 😐😐😐

but i guess asking for a scene for omkara "feeling up” gauri’s boobies (because you know, that’s what this whole scene is all about. the physical intimacy. 😒😒😒) is TOO MUCH for indian television. 

GOD OM DO IT ALREADY. DUS GHANTE LAGAAYEGA KYA? 😤😤😤

fauxlana getting jelly. does she have realllll feelings for omki shomki? girl, you shoulda focused on tapping it when you had the chance, instead of wasting time in all your other udddd-shud harkatein. 🙄🙄🙄

riKara shippers be like AGAIN!!!!!!!! MOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!! 😘😘😘

haaaaaaye, what a sight to wake up. ohhh to be gauriiii kumaaariiii ssssarma in this moment. 😇😇😇

ok my heart is doing tinglyyy things seeing his happy lovesick eyes. what a puppy. despite everything i’ve been yelling at him today, i love this boy so much. my omki shomki. 😍😍😍

heinnnnn, what was he raising his hands up to do? 🤔🤔🤔

yeah that means bye bye time for you now, gauri. 😐😐😐

at least you got two “kisses” out of your time, girl. udhar anika bechaari kabse pyaasi ghoom rahi hai. despite being “real wife” and all that. 😔😔😔

bloody shivaay. kuch seeekh apne chote bhaiyon se. 😒😒😒

… is it necessary to have this conversation IN FRONT OF THE POLICE AND FAUXLANA? 😒😒😒

btw, why are they still here? why hasn’t the police taken her yet? what are they waiting for, christmas? 

om be like “idk having a wife worked out good for shivaay. maybe i should keep this one? 🤔🤔🤔”

HER NAME ISN’T SVETLANA THO? LIKE WHAT IS HER REAL NAMEEEEE????? DOESN’T ANYONE CARE WHY SHE TOOK REAL-LANA’S FACE AND DID ALL THIS???? WHY AREN’T YOU PPL ASKING FOR EXPLANATIONS????????? 😩😩😩

oh hoooooo “kisiiii ne mujhseee kaha tha” and all… 😏😏😏

ok, actually physically dragging her out is unnecessary???? 😕😕😕

why does this girl wear her dupatta like a geriatric watchman wears a kambhal tho? 🙄🙄🙄

ouffff, dialoguebaazi bandh kar aur chalta ban. awaiiii ka naatak. 😒😒😒

god shrenu is soooo fucking pretty though. i can’t handle just how pretty she is. 😍😍😍

lmaoooo, gauri’s managed to get on bade bhaiyya’s radar. 😄😄😄 bade bhaiyya’s gonna make errrrything alrightttttt! #championOfOberoiBahus 😊😊😊

[benevolenterrancy]

@bitchycollectionfury-78be5e8b here ya go, thanks, this was fun to write ^-^ nice to write about people being dumber than you are to make yourself feel better

-

McCree was...

He was...

Well, he was definitely not panicking, that was what he was not doing, because Jesse McCree was one cool customer that could take things as they came and laugh it off.  He'd survived the foster care system and his weird adopted father and his overly intense adopted sister.  He'd survived losing his damn arm, alright, and everything that went down that made it necessary to bundle a young Jesse up and whisk him away to the houses of strangers rather than leave him at home.  And by the end, he'd survived everyone that had thought they could make judgment calls about him without even trying to get to know him, every teacher that had shaken their head and decided some idiots couldn't be helped, every classmate that had turned their nose up at his accent – a vestigial limb left over from a childhood in the south – or his manner of dress or his sense of humour.  After all, it hadn't been as bad as all that.  He'd wound up with a great family (he'd die for Gabe and Sombra), and plenty of friends.  He'd learnt to let people go.  Some people just would never see past his shaggy hair or his loud mouth or the cowboy hat he refused to “grow out of”.  Fuck 'em, that's what Jesse had learnt.  Shrug your shoulders, turn your back, and go find people that matter.  There had been a time when he couldn't do that.  There was a time when he'd been living back with his birth family that every disappointed look the teacher had sent him when he'd acted out in class had been like a slap and every report card returned home had been... well, not just like a slap.  There'd been a time when he'd hated everything about Gabriel Reyes, but mostly the fact that he was forcing him to confront a brand new school with people that stared and laughed and huddled among themselves in the cliques they'd formed years back, no space for a new, pushy, desperately loud kid.

Then things had changed.  Then he'd made friends, real friends, and found out what people could be like – what he could be like.  And suddenly the people turning their nose up didn't matter any more.

...R-ight.

And so that was why, as Jesse McCree sat in school library across from Hanzo Shimada, he definitely was not panicking at all.

Even if Hanzo Shimada was hot as sin, with long, dark hair cascading down his back, the most intense eyes Jesse has ever seen, and holy fuck those biceps.

The guy did archery apparently.  Archery. Who the fuck did archery unless they were preparing to run off in some goddamn fantasy movie?  Jesse had never even really given archery much thought as a thing people did – it only really existed in historical documentaries and the Olympics – but now when it was nearly thirty degrees outside and Hanzo Shimada was sitting two feet away from him in a tank top, Jesse was really, really thinking about archery.  And how it must take a lot of strength to constantly be drawing and holding a tense bowstring if you wanted to aim with any degree of accuracy.  And how that sort of strength made it look like your arms and shoulders had been carved from fucking marble.  Especially when one of said statuesque arms had a sleeve of vibrant, blue tattoos running all the way down it.  Jesse could get lost in a bicep like that, with or without blue dragons staring back at him, but the dragons definitely didn’t hurt.

The thing was though, it wasn't just that.  Jesse had met hot kids before that were out of his league and it generally didn't really trouble him.  Whatever, laugh it off, move on.  No, of course it had to be more complicated than that.  When Jesse had first entered this class he'd wound his way through the filling seats until he'd found himself sitting next to a boy whose name he would learn was Hanzo.  Jesse had then immediately had his smile met by a flat stare, and he'd figured, oh well, here was an uninteresting asshole.  A hot one, maybe, but an asshole all the same.  It hadn't seemed important at the time because he'd already turned to the person on his other side – a girl named Angela who apparently wanted to be a doctor (or a researcher...? Something like that, which involved more of the human body than Jesse wanted to think aobut).  She was friendly and laughed easily.

Everything would have been so much easier if Hanzo had just stayed an asshole. The guy was quiet, sure, but Jesse sat elbow-to-elbow with him three times a week and he slowly began to realize that underneath the prickly, don't-look-at-me-don't-speak-to-me aura the guy projected, there was something far sweeter down there.  The guy chuckled at every single one of the prof's bad jokes and Dr Winston had a lot of them, and they were always nonchalantly that most of the class didn't realize they'd happened... heck, Jesse usually didn't realize they'd happened until he heard a soft snort next to him.

(And yes, it was a snort. Absolutely and completely undignified and it made Jesse stare at Hanzo until he'd been glared back into submission by the man, who'd seemed flustered that someone had heard him.  How do you tell a guy that may or may not hate your guts just for existed that you thought his silly snort-laugh was cute?  The answer was you did not do that and focused back on your own notes if you value your life.)

As for Hanzo's notes, well, they were painfully neat and precise.  But amid the sharp ballpoint and careful diagrams, Hanzo Shimada apparently had a habit of making snide details about the lessons in the margins (Jesse knew this because it was a two hour long lecture and sometimes watching your neighbour writes notes out of the corner of your eye was better than trying to listen to a prof drone on at the front of the class for another hour and a half).  It made Jesse start fantasizing about taking out his own pen and writing a little comment in the corner of Hanzo's page.  Made him think about getting into some sort of stupid note-passing conversation with him like they were eight year olds rather than college kids.  Made him think about getting to have all those weird, witty little comments directed at him, and then seeing where the conversation took them.  (And, occasionally, it made him think about continuing that conversation out of class, possibly down towards a pub he knew for a chat and maybe, oh just maybe, a date.)

Jesse, however, did not dare try – to write the note, that is, entertaining anything else would have been madness.  Hanzo looked like the sort of person that might try to tear your head off if you messed up his notebooks.

Then, just to top it all off, during their lecture breaks, Hanzo often got calls from what Jesse could only assume was a brother.  And, against every expectation, Hanzo Shimada was sweet. Well, still a bit of a deadpan asshole, but no one who's a hundred percent bad uses his ten minutes of free time to talk with his brother every single day.

“Don't look at me, I am not playing wing-man for you in a class I need to ace if I wanna keep my GPA up,” Angela had said.  Jesse had pouted at that – he hadn't even gotten a chance to ask her, had just glanced at her with maybe a slightly-too-hopeful gleam in his eye during one of the breaks Hanzo had left the room to talk with his brother.

And then the fateful day of the class project had arrived.  Winston had told them just to group up with someone sitting beside them rather than running piecemeal through the class.  Jesse had, of course, turned to Angela only to find she had turned around in her seat and was quickly making plans to team up with a girl sitting behind them named Mei.

Frantically Jesse had spun around, but everyone else was making groups with the people to their left or right who they had been getting to know since day one.  With Angela breaking the system, that meant he had only one person left sitting next to him.

Hanzo Shimada was watching him with an unimpressed face and an eye brow raised.

Traitor, he mouthed at Angela.

You're welcome, mouthed Angela, the Stealth Wing-man.

And so here Jesse was, sitting in the library with someone who presumably hated his guts and thought he was – what, loud? Obnoxious? Lame? – but who Jesse still pathetically, wistfully wanted to impress.  Life, sometimes, was enormous unfair.  At this point Hanzo hadn't even given Jesse the time of day, he'd been sitting at one of the study tables since before Jesse had arrived, nose an inch from his phone as he texted someone.  Presumably someone cooler than Jesse McCree.

Jesse wanted to groan.  Or shove his pencil in his eye just so he could get out of this project.  Instead he mechanically started pulling out his books and waited for Hanzo to be ready to start on the project with him.

-

Hanzo Shimada: ... WELL??

Obnoxious Little Brother: oy give me a sec some of us are still in class and don't want our phone to be taken away again besides i'm trying to tell zen about how i, the lowly highschooler, am helping my university-bound brother pick up boys

Hanzo Shimada: Don't you DARE

Obnoxious Little Brother: too late he wishes you luck by the way and says he has complete faith in you goes to show which one of us  knows you better eh? not him!

Hanzo scowled down at his phone before he gaze flickered briefly up to the person who had sat across from him.  He'd been painfully aware of Jesse McCree since McCree had arrived in the library and pulled back the chair with a scrape that had made the hairs on the back of Hanzo's neck stand on end.  So far McCree had made no acknowledgment that there was another person at this table, another person he was going to be forced to work along side for the next two weeks.

Hanzo didn't know whether Zenyatta had faith in him or if Genji had just been trying to wind him up, but Hanzo certainly did not have faith in himself, not about this.  He had never been good at... people. He made, in Genji's words, “seriously just the worst first impressions.  Like wow.  So bad,” which just wasn't fair because when it came to a professional setting, when it was about work or networking, he was fine.  He could move effortlessly through the crowds, introduce himself, chat, plan, negotiate.  He'd been dogging his father's footsteps since it had been decided he would one day take over the family business and he was a devoted student.  But as soon as it was real people in real life Hanzo may as well be carved out of wood; somehow he always managed to put his foot in his mouth.  Which was why he had fallen so low as to turn to his baby brother for advice, because at least Genji, if nothing else could be said about him, was good with people.

Too good with people, if you asked their father.  Genji was a social butterfly who wasn't so much a butterfly as a housefly, flitting about around everywhere and getting where at lot of people would probably wish he wasn't and really not caring who he chatted with or what they thought about him.

Obnoxious Little Brother: look, just don't do the Hanzo Special and you should be fine

Hanzo Shimada: Excuse me??

Obnoxious Little Brother: u kno, your patented Grunt & Growl ™ technique don't do that and assume other people can actually understand you bc they can't

Hanzo wanted to snap back that he did not grunt or growl, thank you, he was a mature adult unlike Genji, but he found his fingers hesitating on the keys.  Frantically he scanned his memory to figure out if he had grunted or growled at Jesse McCree.

God help him he probably had.  He had almost certainly stared stupidly at him.

McCree... glowed, though, and Hanzo wasn't sure what to do with that.  He spoke so easily.  All it had taken was one glance from McCree on the first day of class for him to apparently decide that Hanzo was a lost cause.  Before Hanzo had managed to scrounge up a single coherent, reasonable thing to say to the sunshine bright, smiling boy who'd sat down next to him, said boy had turned his attentions to the much more receptive form of Angela Ziegler, the girl sitting to his right.

McCree was loud and raucous and ridiculous and he wore the stupidest hat Hanzo had ever seen but god help him he wanted to see McCree smile at him, rather than catch glimpse of it from the corner of his eye while he laughed with someone else.  He wanted to have McCree attention at some point other than when he'd made a fool of himself with his ugly laugh or by seeing McCree stare judgmentally at his notes.

Obnoxious Little Brother: at the risk of sounding too much like a disney movie have you tried just.... being yourself??? (this was zen's suggestion btw i'm personally pretty sure being someone other than yourself would be a step in the right direction but you never know maybe disney knows whats up)

Hanzo thought about what McCree had looked like when they had been forced to choose partners.  He had wanted to be anywhere than with Hanzo. The look he had shot Ziegler when she had found a different partner... the helpless, defeated look when he had accepted that the only person nearby not taken was Hanzo.

No, being himself was definitely not going to help him here.

Hanzo Shimada: Never mind I'll figure it out

What he was going to do was pretend that Jesse McCree was just some other random student, keep his head down, get this project done with the least amount of fuss, and move on to his next set of class next semester and hopefully forget that McCree existed.

“Shall we get started?” he asked briskly, pocketing his phone and pulling out his own book.

McCree's face was despondent and it sat like a stone in Hanzo's gut.  He would rather be anywhere than here.

“Might as well,” said McCree.

[fcking-writing-geek-blog]

Death of a Bachelor

Ryan and Luke were engaged to get married. Why? Because they loved each other, dipshit. There was a catch, though. They would both die. Happily ever after, at the expense of the death of a bachelor. Everything would be perfect. Of course, they were both worried for weeks. Ryan lost weight, Luke drank his worries away, and then they'd fall asleep together. Well, almost. Ryan would lay awake and listen to Luke's breathing, head filled with thoughts. Memories. Worries. The things that made him go into an existential crisis. If he was still awake, or if he moved too much and woke up Luke, he'd always get reassurance that they'd be fine - that nothing would get between them and they'd be happy. They'd end up talking and falling asleep again. ♡♡ About a month before they were to get married, no one could find Ryan or Luke. Jonathan and Evan looked in one place, Tyler and Craig somewhere else, Brian and Brock and Marcel stuck around their place to see if they'd come. Ryan simply sat by a fountain and cried. He was scared. Scared of dying, scared of losing everything he had, and scared of the future. "Ryan, over there," Evan whispered to Jonathan, nudging his boyfriend and pointing to him. Jonathan gave a small nod and walked over to him. "Ry'? You... You need a hug?" "I... No, just... Go away." "Can't. If I lie, they'll find out and Brock'll punch me." "You are a horrible liar...." "Exactly. Any idea where Luke is, though?" "Can't help you there.... But.... Can I tell you something? You can't tell anyone else, though." Jonathan gave Ryan a smile, nodding. "Got it." Ryan took a deep breath. "I'm just... it feels like my heart is going to burst. Like... Like if you're alone at a table for two and just really want to be served. It's stupid, though. Don't worry." "Tyler and Craig always tell me that after the wedding, you'll be so happy and have a shoulder to cry on and-" "That's my problem. I'm..... what if he stops coming home? Just stays out and drinks until I have to go find him? I.... Am I being paranoid again? At least I have a choice." "Those are perfectly fine feelings to have, Ry'. Don't downplay your feelings and worries because 'someone else has it worse'. Your feelings are-" "Your feelings are valid because you're a goddamn person," Evan yelled, starting to laugh. Ryan jumped and fell back, Jonathan screaming. "..... Bad time?" "Fuckin' Fong, scaring us! Bad Evan! Go home!" Ryan slowly started to laugh, it was gentle and quiet but there. "God, you two are dorks...." ♡♡ The day of the wedding was the one that had Ryan all worked up. They were split up, so Ryan had some of their friends and Luke had some. Ryan had Lui, Jonathan, Tyler, Brian, and Marcel, while Luke had Evan, Craig, David, Brock, and every few minutes Jonathan too. Jonathan just really wanted to kiss Evan and tell Luke how awesome the ceremony would be. ♡♡ Of course, Jonathan also decided to drag Evan when they were allowed to get food. Evan just followed quietly, staring at Jonathan's bum. Craig and Tyler followed behind them, chatting about cake and wine. Brock, Brian, and Marcel laughed at everyone and everything, Lui and David looking around. Ryan and Luke were last. Ryan was staring at his ring silently, Luke telling him about Jonathan and Evan. After a moment, he just... stopped. Stopped walking, talking, and breathing. That, of course, made Ryan look at him. As soon as hazel eyes, which were dark from worry, looked at the other, they widened. Luke fell to the ground, which summoned the attention of Lui and David. "Holy shit," David yelled, the three ahead of them turning to see. As if summoned, Jonathan ran out. "What happened?!" Ryan covered his mouth, Lui rushed to him and tried to calm him down. Craig and Tyler ran over, Evan close behind. They all bent down beside Luke. Lui grabbed one of Ryan's hands and started to walk, sighing. "Come on." "N.... No! My husband just passed the fuck out!" "Ryan, worrying about it will make you feel-" "How am I not supposed to worry?! I've been worried ever since we started dating that he'd... he'd get taken away from me and it's happening! I can't fucking breathe!" Lui stopped and grabbed the side of Ryan's face. He cleared his throat. "Listen here, Ohmwrecker! You are an awesome and amazing and you're going to get through this! Don't worry," he yelled in his squeaker voice, making Ryan smile. ♡♡ He'd gotten the bad news on Valentine's Day. The one thing he feared most, the thing people told him wouldn't happen. Luke was gone. Nothing could fill the void inside of Ryan's life, no friends, no family, and no amount of alcohol could change the unbearable truth that the love of his life was ripped away from him. If he died, so many people would notice, but how many people would care? A lot, chances are. All of his friends. He ended up missing Lui's party because of his crying. Even after everyone had come to check on him, he couldn't shake the feeling that they simply didn't care. He knew he was being irrational, but it hurt him too much to think of living without Luke. So he took action. He went to the top of an apartment building, went to stand at the edge, and took a deep breath. This was it. This was the only thing separating him and his love. He never took off the ring. He couldn't. He didn't bother to look around, he took another deep breath and closed his eyes. He started to fall. He heard screams and shouts, he didn't care. When he opened his eyes, darkness surrounded him. He had done it. Ryan had committed suicide. He heard someone familiar sob before getting wrapped in warmth. He noted that it was quite cold. "Oh my God.... baby...." It was Luke. The one person Ryan wanted to see. And suddenly, everything was visible. The stairs, the marble walls and floors, the paintings, and the servants. Everything in full color, as well. The light was back in his life. He was happy again. ____________ I hope you had fun reading this, I had fun writing it. Did you cry? I bet you cried. Jesus this was fun. xxx - little_blue_bi