#i am feeling good about this week but thinking about the texts i've sent. the things i've said. the number of times i've asked for a hug

[leguin]

'what's wrong with a little dignity' is still such a mood. like, well, there's an obvious answer. but as someone who has forsaken every shred of my dignity this week, and most of it for the last year, i do really get where steve is coming from there.

[httpuckdrop]

ashes – day 101

"i can't believe you, jack."

several weeks had passed since you last saw him. it had taken you a few days to even answer his texts; you refused to reply whenever he brought up this thing going on between you two or wanted to meet you, but you felt too guilty not to answer him when he asked how you were doing and how school was going. you knew he genuinely cared for you, and even if you wanted to just disappear into thin air, you felt too bad to do it.

you told him when you aced your recent exam, and he told you about how bad his games had gone. the conversations were never long, nor filled with much emotion, but at least it was something to jack. he missed you like crazy, and of course you missed him, too. and you felt horrible for pulling away, but this was how it had to be.

it hurt so much – but that pain was nowhere near what you felt when you got sent that video yesterday.

a video filmed by a friend of yours at a night club in town, of a girl and a boy dancing – well, of a girl rubbing her ass up against a boy's crotch, with the boy's hands on her hips holding her close. when the video zoomed in, and the couple turned around a little, the face of the boy was suddenly clear as day.

of course it was jack, and of course he looked like he was having the time of his life. of course you'd never even seen this girl before, and of course she looked hotter than supermodel.

you never before thought you'd be capable of yelling at him. you usually were never one to raise your voice, and jack was such a kindhearted soul that even when you'd had little arguments before, everything had always been calm. but now, it was all just too much, and all of your emotions from the past months – screw that, years – came crashing down at once.

jack leaned back against the counter behind him, his hands digging deep into his pockets. "what is it you can't believe? why are you so worked up over this?" he asked. "i'm not even your boyfriend."

you shook your head. "still, jack. it hurts. we spend so much time together, we kiss and we fuck and-"

"and i'm still not your boyfriend!" he exclaims at this, followed by a groan. "i'm sorry if i sound harsh, but it's the truth, isn't it? besides, you haven't wanted to see me in weeks. don't go around acting like i can't do what i want to do."

you paused, having no idea what to answer. he was right, you knew he was – so why was it so painful?

jack spoke up again. "i think it's great that it hurts, because it shows that you care." your eyebrows shot up. "i want you to care. because i care about you." he stepped forward to where you were sitting on the chair by his kitchen island; a big, warm hand landing on your shoulder. "you know i what more than what he had. i want to be your boyfriend, there's never been a doubt in my mind about that."

you looked down at your feet dangling past the footrest, a deep sigh leaving your lips. "i… i can't."

"please, just give me a chance. i won't disappoint you."

you never thought you'd have someone like jack hughes – the tall, rough, muscular sports type of man – holding you by your shoulders and begging for you to love him. maybe that was a part of why you felt this way? because it all felt too surreal, too good to be true? because you knew there was something else lurking in the shadows?

"it doesn't work like that." moments ago, you were practically bursting with emotions, yelling at him and cursing him out in your mind. but now, you felt empty. your voice was so quiet he could barely hear you. "i've been with guys who made promises to me, who still hurt me and broke me, and-"

jack couldn't help but cut you off again. "but none of those guys were me! haven't i proved to you what kind of man i am?" he sighs – he's worked up, too, but he tries his best not to let his feelings take over. "it doesn't make any sense."

it wasn't until his hand landed on your cheek and he tilted your face up to look at him that you snapped. "i know it doesn't make any sense, and i know it's not rational, but it's who i am." a tear slipped down your cheek before you could even register that your eyes had started welling up. "i'm sorry but i can't control it, and i hate it. i hate how every time i get close to someone, i pull away. i hate how every time you look at me with that lovestruck expression, i feel like i don't deserve it. i hate…"

jack's thumb brushed away a few of your tears and traced along your features, and the action had you falling even further apart.

"i want to do it. i want to just dive straight into it, head first," you took a deep breath. "but it's so scary."

"well, shit, i'm scared too! it's not like i'm some super experienced relationship expert. but we'll have each other." now his other hand reached for your face too, cradling you as he stared deep into your soul. it was like he wanted to convince you, like he wanted to prove to you that everything will be fine.

but despite all of his efforts, you still couldn't find it in yourself to promise him anything. you weren't sure if you could stay true to your word if you said that you could give him what he needed, what he wanted, what he deserved. "jack, i-" the pain crashed through your body in yet another heartbreaking wave as you pulled your face away, slipping out of his grasp. "i can't."

he didn't bother following after you when you retreated to the hallway; he knew it was to no avail. he hadn't moved a single inch when you looked back into the kitchen after having slipped into your coat and shoes, and you couldn't find it in your heart to say anything. no apologize or consolation could be enough to soothe the burning sensation in his chest.

[crazyk-imagine]

Mean

Pairing: Paul Lahote x Fem!reader

Characters: Fem!reader, Paul Lahote, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Jared Cameron, Embray Call, Tiny Tim (made up)

Warnings: Reader knows about the supernatural, implications of dead parent, ex's inspire people, Sam and Emily are adorable, am I making them my favorites bc of the way I write them lol, Paul and Reader are adorable, Paul is a little shit, so is Embry and Jared, no one can act normal around a sassy person

Word Count: 1,231

A/N: Was I listening to Mean by Taylor Swift? You can't prove anything

I've had this ready for a week, but shit kept happening at work man ughhhhhh

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was meant to be, or so you thought.

You blink, staring at the ceiling not sure why your ex came to mind.

He was partial to the reason for your move the gloomy town (which you enjoyed more than the sunny state you were in) but not the entire reason.

If only your mom could see you now, working hard and still keeping true to who you are.

You push yourself out of bed, needing to get started on your day.

-

You finish up and jot down another line, knowing it's slowly turned into a "revenge" song.

You exit your place and hop in your truck, heading down to your favorite person's place.

"Emily, your other honey is home."

Sam lets out a dry laugh. "Funny as always."

"I know, it's one of the perks of being my friend."

"Are going to do..." You snatch a muffin from the tray. "Sam things?"

The couple glance at one another, curious if you know.

"Yeah, we won't be back till later-" He doesn't finish as the boys burst through the door. Almost all ignore you, not aware of your presence.

You mumble, "now I know why you're ready to feed an army."

The boys freeze, all conversations stopping. "Uh-"

"Who's the girl?" Jared asks, snaking a muffin.

You raise a brow, picking at the muffin, breaking it into bite size pieces. "What a question."

"Who's the sassy girl?" The same guy asks.

"How do you deal with idiots?"

Emily snickers, scanning over the pack for their expressions.

"Good thing Paul's not here or else he'd flip a lid," Embry mutters.

You push yourself off the stool and grab your bag. "Later, Em. Bye bye, Sammy."

You wave them off before glancing at the group. "Such an interesting... gang you have here."

You spin around, smirking to yourself, not wanting to let the cat (wolf) out of its bag. "I heard there's going to be a full moon tonight."

Or maybe you don't care if they know you know.

"Does she-"

The door slams shut.

You shake your head, smirking to yourself, proud of your teasing. You bump into a body, not entirely paying attention. "Sorry." You pass by the person and hop in your car, not realizing the electricity he felt in that simple touch.

You look up after putting your keys in the ignition, only to find a dark pair of eyes on yours.

The subtle feeling through your body alerts you.

"Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap." You have to force your gaze away from his. "Please don't be able to read lips. Oh, crap. They can hear." You start pulling out and make it back to your house.

-

Weeks go by and you screen another one of Emily's calls.

"I'll call her when this passes," you mutter, writing another line. You slam your pencil down, "who am I kidding? It's never going to stop."

You don't want to answer her and send another lie.

Boo Thang #2 <;3

'Sorry, not feeling good. Will text later.' 2:59pm Sent Read

A knock on your door surprises you.

You carefully make your way to the door, scanning through the peephole. Your back's flat against the door. "Why the hell is he here?"

"We need to talk."

"I don't think so."

"You know more than you let on."

"So?"

"We need to talk."

"Can I just call you?"

"No, Emily's been trying for days, and it hasn't worked. Let me in."

You scoff, "not with that attitude."

He growls under his breath, "fine. Please let me in?"

"No."

"You're testing my patience."

"Go test it out with someone else."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it."

"You gotta be more specific bud."

"I don't like that name."

"Bud?"

"Stop it."

You smirk, "bud."

He knocks on your door with more force, trying to get one of your neighbors to come out so they can tell him to stop and make you let him in.

You snarl as the door swings open, "stop it you, idiot." You yank him in, earning a confident smirk from him.

"I don't like this look on you. You think you've won."

"Who says I haven't?"

"Me. I am the one who decides since this is my place."

"Living here alone? Really?"

You shrug, "parents died."

"Oh," he clears his throat, "sorry."

"It's fine. Not your fault."

"So, uh- what do you know?"

"I used to visit when I was a kid and heard the stories because of my cousin."

"You know?"

"That we happen to be united forever essentially, kind of hard not to, not gonna lie."

"Are you upset?"

You furrow your brows, "what do you mean?"

"Your imprints with the hothead. The one with "anger" issues. The list goes on." His brows furrow in annoyance, the pout on his lip making him look... cute.

"Who?"

He shocked you don't know who he is. "Lahote?"

"Paul?" You ask, not entirely sure if you got the right name or not.

"Oh, so you do know."

He sighs, "great."

"Barely, I just remember your guy's names from the elders at the meetings."

"How long has it been since you were in town?"

You shrug, "few years. I haven't been out of the house as much since my life went to crap," you offer a sarcastic smile.

"I feel like I've brought the mood down, do you- do you want to go out? I know this one place with uh- with decent music." He tells you the name and it takes all of you to not smile.

"Let's go, but we take my car."

He lets out a dramatic sigh, "fine."

-

You two arrive half an hour before you have to go on stage.

You make up an excuse and say you're going to be right back, needing to use the little girl's room.

"Next up, is one of our favorites," the mc, Tiny Tim (your favorite guy there) announces.

You walk across stage, confusing Paul but not Emily and Sam (who told him to take you there if he got far enough). They cheer you on while listening to your song.

All you are is mean And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

You make it back to your seat beside your wolf.

"Where'd you learn to do that?"

You shrug, not liking the attention on you.

"That was- that was amazing."

"It was nothing."

"No- no, that was really good." Emily sneaks up behind you. "And that's saying something, Paul doesn't like to use his words to express his emotions."

The man frowns. "We get it. We get it."

You roll your eyes, "stop it, you two."

-

You two make it back your place. "I should at least drop you off."

He shakes his head, "I'm not that far from you."

"I don't know if I believe that."

"Then believe ne when I say I can run and not get tired."

You narrow your eyes before turning your head to hide your chuckle. "Get out of here, you idiot."

You hear him close the door and stare into the woods, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

The only wolf standing between the path of trees sticks out and you know it's him.

You shake your head, going into your home. "Idiot."

You swear you hear him huff.

[withleeknow]

letters i didn't send to you.

pairing: ot8 x reader (ot8 in the sense that there's no name mentioned so you can imagine whoever you want. imagine the whole kpop industry if you want lol) genre/warnings: established relationship, long distance relationship au?, angst, fluff if you squint. unedited bc i am insane word count: 0.7k note: trying something new here! dunno how people are gonna like it but i don't feel terrible about it 🤷‍♀️ a product of my emo hours and i needed an outlet and i thought oh hey why not just project this into a fic lol

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation / masterlist / ko-fi

3:29am, i've been dreaming about you for years. stars and moons and cotton candy clouds on fire at sundown. the whole universe resides in your eyes, it's almost unfair. sleepless nights because you're not here; restless days because i can't wait for you to be back. the clock stops ticking when you're not with me. the magnetic pull gets stronger during the witching hour somehow. i've always been drawn to you, even before i knew who you were. you're the only home i'd leave all my haunts for. it's summer solstice in most parts of the world but not in our bedroom, not when the only way i can have you is through a phone screen on your pillow. your voice is trying to lull me to sleep. it doesn't come close to replicating one tenth of your warmth. to love is to endure.

-

i'm halfway through the day, and you must be dreaming of where you belong, by my side on a bed that's far too big when i'm the only occupant. or at least, i hope you're dreaming of me too. 1:19pm, i'm six hours ahead but days and weeks and months and years behind, still stuck in that airport where you left me for the first time. some days, my eyes get misty at lunch when i think about your alarm going off and your irritated groan as you roll over to make your phone stop screaming. other days, i don't have an appetite at all, not with you on my mind and the reminder that there's still oceans between us. when are you coming home? i know when you're coming home, and yet i ask anyway, as if it'll shorten the distance and make the time pass more quickly. to love is to wait.

-

saturday morning, but i can't stay in bed past 7:12am. missing you a lot tonight, was what you had sent while i was asleep. that's a little cruel for a good morning text, don't you think? it's not your fault. i blame it on the oceans, on the time, on the distance. the coffee is still brewing, just enough for one steaming mug but it would've been nice if i got to make two. can we go back to new york? we always say we would, but can we do it now? i'll meet you halfway if you let me. there's nothing that ties me to this place. you're always on the move. my home is always on the move. we were happy on that trip, right? my fondest memories of you. skylines and the high line. to love is to risk it all, and i would risk it all for you. take me home, will you? let's go back to new york.

-

the clock reads 8:18am, but the date is all wrong. you should be landing any minute now, but not for another two days. two more days until you're home, ten days that i get to be in your arms. and yet, all i can think about is your departure, about coming back to an empty apartment after you're gone again. i think about you leaving before you even return. the drive back after i've sent you off, it never hurts less no matter how many times we go through it. i can already picture the scene, it's almost routine at this point. your sparkling eyes when they find me in the crowded airport, your relieved sigh when i run to you, your hands clutching me so tightly like you don't want to let go either. it's always this damn airport. we should stop meeting like this. when the buzzing of my phone snaps me out of it, i know who's on the other end of the notification. a photo of your new polaroid camera, then a promise to make more memories to keep with us when you come back to me.

to love is to willingly weather this with you a million times and more. even if it hurts. maybe especially if it hurts. you're the reason i keep going. you're the reason why the sun rises in the morning. let's talk about new york when you're here.

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 02.07.2024]

[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"I THINK YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL"

I wrote another fic with Dave 🖤

I hope you like it! (this is probably one of the cutest fics I've written with him lol)

Dave had been talking to you online for several weeks. You lived two cities apart, so you'd never met in person.

It all started as a joke from his friend Todd, who told him he was too scared to install a dating app on his computer.

Of course, he did. He installed one and started chatting with you on the social networking site.

At first, Dave thought you were just a typical single mom looking for a young man to warm her bed at night, but it turned out you were the same age and liked almost the same things.

You both read comics, hated puzzles, and hated the riddles on the back of cereal boxes. They seemed like stupid things, but they meant a lot to both of you.

Then everything changed. When you talked that day, you told him you'd decided to take the bus to meet him in person. Dave's breath caught in his throat for a moment before he sent you a text with his address and a timid "I'll be waiting for you" as a final flourish.

Two long hours passed.

Two hours in which Dave thought you had lied to him, and that you were laughing at him.

Then he replayed your conversations in his head, and even though he hadn't met you in person, he knew you wouldn't do something like that.

The front doorbell rang. Dave's heart skipped a beat in his chest, and he looked at the most recent message on his computer screen.

"I'm here," you said.

He quickly went downstairs, and after adjusting his hair a bit in the hallway mirror and taking two deep breaths, he opened the door.

And there you were.

For a few moments, neither of you was able to say anything. You watched him, and he watched you, still not quite believing that this was real, that it was actually happening.

"Hi," he greeted, flashing a shy smile as he stepped aside, "please come in."

He closed the door as you entered, and you took in the house. It was pretty and very bright. He followed your gaze for a moment before heading into the kitchen.

"Do you want something to drink?" —he asked, opening the fridge— I'm afraid I only have orange juice and water

—Water is fine— you chose— It's horribly hot out there— you complained, fanning yourself theatrically with your hand, making him laugh—

—Yes— he agreed, pouring the water into a glass and handing it to you— It's cool— he warned— It'll do you good.

—Thanks— you murmured, taking a sip before placing it on the stovetop— It's a pleasure to finally meet you, supermanisthebest58— you laughed, saying his username. You'd never shared your real names before— What's your real name?— you asked—

—Dave— he introduced himself— And you?

-Y/N -you smiled shyly- He mimicked your gesture.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just can't believe this is finally happening," he confessed. "That you're actually here in my house." He tilted his head toward you. "It feels like a dream."

"Am I what you expected?" you asked under his scrutiny. He blushed all the way to the roots of his hair at the question.

"I… yes… no…" He took a deep breath for a moment to organize his thoughts. "I think you're beautiful," he finally said, making you smile before sitting down on the living room couch. "We can watch something on Netflix, if you want. There are several documentaries about serial killers, and just as many about UFO sightings in Nevada," he said while browsing through the platform's catalog.

He noticed you looking at him and slowly turned his head toward you.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" "He murmured shyly."

"You're just as I expected, Dave," you said, smiling.

A silence settled between you for a few moments, before, without knowing exactly what he was doing, he lowered his gaze to your lips, and you did the same.

You moved a little closer and gently placed your lips on his. He closed his eyes, and you did too, before he began to move slowly. You kissed for a few more minutes before you slowly broke away.

"Maybe it's unexpected," he murmured, "but I think I love you."

You smiled before kissing him again.

"I love you too, Dave."

[wingedjellyfishflight]

A Forgotten Birthday

"How old is y/n then?" The new recruit is always trying to flirt with Soap by asking him gossip and facts about the team.

"Twenty-six." He answers her so easily. It feels like a stab to your heart all over again.

"Twenty-seven." You correct, voice conspicuously devoid of emotion.

"No, your birthday isn't until May, and it's..." His face pales. He whips around to look at you. "We missed it. How did we miss it?" You shrug, not meeting his eyes.

"Some things just aren't important." Your food tastes like sawdust. You give up trying to eat and toss it in the trash on the way out. Maybe hitting the gym will help. No, you know he's going to tell everyone, and you don't want to deal with their pity-filled stares and questions about making it up to you now that they've finally remembered.

Running the trail system near the base is a favorite of yours normally. Today, it isn't relaxing, but anger-inducing. You were on a mission in a forest just like this across the world for your birthday. It was almost two weeks after the day that you got back, and you eagerly waited for the surprise party that Soap, Gaz, and Price always set up for each person's birthday, but... nothing. After three weeks, you gave up all hope for one and steeled yourself to give nothing away. Can't let them see you hurt over a stupid birthday. Can't make the team lose focus or lose your own. You're an adult, after all.

Zoned out, you don't realize how far you have run until it's nearly too dark to see the path. Sitting on a stump, you give in and have a cry about the whole thing. Self-pity taking you over for just a few minutes. Wiping your eyes, you startle when a hand touches your back. You leap up and move to a defensive crouch only to see Ghost's balaclava looming out of the darkness at you.

"Luv, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing. Just, I don't know. Needed a cry, I guess. Didn't think anyone would see me."

"You certainly didn't see anyone. I've been running behind you for nearly five minutes. I could have been anyone. You need to be more aware of things." Your hurt and confusion turns to anger at the lecture he is spouting off.

"Ya, I guess I do need to be more aware. Clearly, I am the problem." You stomp away from him, starting back to base, muttering to yourself about transfers to other teams who might care more. Ghost wraps his hand around your arm and pulls you to a stop.

"What, I make one comment, and you're just going to quit on us? What is actually going on, pet? Someone piss you off or something? Do I need to knock teeth out?"

"I... everyone forgot," you mumble. Ghost glances around to ensure you're alone and tugs you against his chest, rubbing your back. "I was in the shit and when I got back, nobody remembered my birthday." He freezes, hands cradling you.

"They forgot? How could they forget? Your birthday is always at the beginning of the mission season. I thought you guys had it when I was down range. I was gutted to have missed it. Sent you flowers as a sorry." His grip tightens to an almost painful level, and you grip back, remembering the beautiful bouquet that had been left for you without a note. "We will just have to make Soap and Captain pay for forgetting then." You glance up and see his eyes glimmering at you in the moonlight.

"We should probably find our way home first."

"Home, that sounds good." His phone suddenly goes off, making you jump. "Group text. 'SOS emergency meeting. Do not tell y/n.' They ain't even tryin' to be subtle at this point." He guides the two of you down the path, walking quick and assured. Within minutes, he is getting an avalanche of phone calls and texts to the point that he is tempted to throw it into the woods around you, but you turn it off and slip it into his pocket for him.

"Last time you threw one and broke it, Captain said he would glue the new one to your hand, and I'm pretty sure he was serious." Ghost ruffles your hair.

"That was a private meeting, Luv. How did you hear him say that?"

You scoff. "You'd be lucky if the entire fuckin' base didn't hear him tell you that with how loud he was shouting." He just chuckles and guides you both home. He drops you off at the women's barracks and storms into the team meeting, slamming the door into the wall.

"Finally you show up! We forgot y/n's birthday and we are planning a party to make up for it."

"No. You are not."

"What?! We can't just ignore it. We forgot! It's been months!"

"You're not going to force her to accept a pity party to make you feel better about what you did."

"Ghost, I know you hate parties, but she still deserves to know we care."

"So, show her. Before she makes good on transferring out. But no party. I will handle her party from now on since you fucks can't be trusted to remember." He walks out without another word, the room behind him in chaos.

"Why is he acting like he didn't forget, too?" Gaz asks incredulously.

"Because the bawbag didn't. He sent the mystery flowers that made her cry. It was right after he got back from down range. Can't believe I didn't catch it earlier."

Price stubs out his cigar. "So, no party. And she is thinking about leaving. We really cocked this one up, boys." He stands and walks to the door, pausing on the threshold. "No flowers, no gifts. Make it up to her. And Soap," he turns to look the Scottish man in the eye, "sleep with one eye open. Ghost is absolutely going to make us pay for making her cry." He walks away, no pep in his step, now.

"Cry? How does he know she cried?" Gaz seems baffled by the Captain's surety.

"Course she cried. Everyone does when they are forgotten or abandoned."

"Ghost doesn't, though. We never celebrate his birthday."

"We being the key there, mate. Remember last month when she shoved a new set of gloves and a mask at him? Told him the ones he was wearing were manky as fuck. That was his birthday gift." He runs a hand through his hair. "Anyway, I'm off. Need t'think about how I'm gonna beg forgiveness from both of 'em."

[puptoy]

Denied cunt / Anal training diaries <3

I haven't been allowed to touch myself or cum all month... He wants to make me wait until he comes to visit, weeks and weeks....

I begged and begged, and then I started doing really slutty stuff to get his attention.

I sent him pictures of my tits.

I sent pictures in my cute pink lingerie -- I wore it to school under my clothes.

I'm not allowed to touch my cunt. I'm not allowed to edge. He says I don't have the self control, and I know he's right. I've just been aching and feeling myself get so wet while I watch him stroke his big cock and cum whenever he wants. He calls me up just to make me listen, sometimes.

He makes me shove fingers inside just enough to check how wet I am -- not allowed to move them, not allowed to feel good -- and then lick them clean.

I shaved my pussy, shorter but not to the skin. Makes it easier for him to see how pink and wet it gets on the video call. I spread my legs for him, just so he can see. I can't touch for my own pleasure, just his.

Finally, I asked if I could train my ass for him.

He liked that, for some reason. He said, "Good bitch! That's a great idea. You get so smart when you stop getting distracted touching your stupid little cunt."

Background: we've always wanted to try anal, but he's really big... Like. 2-inches-diameter thick, 7.5 inches long. It already hurts my pussy, and my ass is so tight. The one time we tried, I could only last for like, a minute. I think I came a little though.

I need to do a lot of training to work up to it, but we always just get impatient and distracted 'cause my pussy is so convenient.

One night, he told me if I can cum with my ass, he'll let me cum. But I'd already taken my sleeping pills, so by the time I worked up to the 2nd plug, I was sooooo tired. I didn't even wanna cum, just wanted to rub my tits and get him off.

...I've worked up to bigger and bigger plugs. Every few days, I stretch my hole for him.

Last night, I finally got to cum with my ass. I started all careful and tentative, just rubbing lube-slick fingers around my rim. Dipping in ever so slightly, tugging at the little knot of muscles. The lube is water-based and thick, smells like cloves. It makes my hole feel all warm and sensitive.

I slowly worked up to the second plug, third, fourth... About 1.75 inches in diameter. I got used to pushing it out to the widest part and then relaxing and letting my hole suck it back in. If I angled it right, I could feel it putting pressure on my g-spot. It felt just like touching my pussy, but the familiar arousal is mixed with the strange sensations of continually stretching and tightening my asshole, a weird fullness, the clinical feeling of wearing nitrile gloves and being careful where I touch.

By the end, I could feel slick gel lube and my own dripping cunt rubbing against the sides of my hand through the glove. I pressed my thighs together and fucked the plug in and out, faster, harder, losing the pretense of medical detachment and just using my hole for pleasure. I thought about him holding me down and fucking me like this - harder, thicker, using my tight-stretched rim to stroke his cock at his own pace. Thought about him grabbing my hips and driving in deep, filling my ass with his cum. Wanna feel every twitch and spurt.

So, squirming and sweating and fucking myself on a plug, I finally got to cum. And then I did it again, 'cause it wasn't enough.

I texted him to say what I did, say thank you thank you thank you, and then I fell asleep. Can't wait to do it again. <3

[heavyhitterheaux]

Ghost Part 2

AN: 🤭🤭🤭

Synopsis: Jack makes it known to you that he wants to do right by Ace, but you still have hesitations in the back of your mind. It isn't until he decides to do something drastic that lets you know you had been right all along and that you will do anything to protect your son.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Read Part 1 first

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

After that night, Jack kept trying to call you to apologize, but you were steadily ignoring his calls. The next step was him texting you to plead with you to talk to him, but you were not in the mood to put up with him and didn't want to hear anything that he had to say.

Jack- Y/N, please talk to me. I'm sorry about what happened. It's been almost three weeks since I talked to Ace

Jack- I promise to make it up to Ace and to you if you'll let me 

You- Ace told me that he didn't want to talk to you right now and why all of a sudden are you making it a priority that you talk to him? Any other time you wouldn't care

Jack- Did he say that or did you? And he's my son so obviously I want to talk to him

You- Look, Harlow. I am protecting MY son at all costs and if it has to be from you, then so be it

Jack- But he's my son too

You- Okay and he's only your son at your convenience. You have basically ignored him just about his entire damn life and then get in your feelings when he called someone else daddy. Are you really even upset about not having a good relationship with him or is it your pride that's hurting? I think it's the latter

Jack- Y/N, please. I get that I've messed up but I want to do better

You- We'll talk to you when we're ready

For the rest of October, it came and went without any more incidents from Jack which you were surprised by. Because you were sure by now he would have pulled something.

It was as if he was trying to be better for you and for Ace. But you still weren't sure and still had your hesitations. Why would you trust someone who has given you every reason in the world not to?

One morning you woke up and checked your banking app to see that he not only sent money to pay for daycare, but an extra two thousand. Thinking that it was a mistake, you quickly sent the extra money back, but within twenty minutes it was back in your account and that's when you finally sent him a text.

You- Why did you send me an extra two thousand? I sent it back, but you sent it to me again

Jack- I remembered you mentioned to me a while back that Ace needed some winter clothes so I sent it. Get something for yourself too.

You- Jack, I don't need this much and have you suddenly switched places with someone else? I usually have to beg you to even send money for daycare and half the time you don’t even remember to do it

Jack- It's for the two of you so keep it and no I haven’t

You were simply taken aback and didn't know what to say or make of it.

You- Well, thank you 

Jack- Um do you think I can get him this weekend?

You- the entire weekend?

Jack- Well yeah. If you don't have anything planned this weekend that is 

You- I will see what he says and then I’ll let you know

Jack- Okay

You guess he was trying to make up for lost time, but you were still at the point where you wanted to be done with him. But if he did decide to be in his life, would it be for the long run? Because the last thing you wanted was for Ace to get comfortable with him being around and then he suddenly disappears.

You usually had to beg him to pay for it and remind him every month, but this time he did it without even a word needing to be uttered from you. And he was a week early with sending it to you.

After that incident between Jack and Clay and Ace seeing it, Ace stopped asking to call Jack before his bedtime and it was eventually replaced with Jack calling him and you were surprised by him checking on how you were too.

The last time he did that was before Ace was born. However, you kept it short and sweet and gave him one word answers because at this point, you were tolerating him and nothing else.

There were a few times when Jack first started to call that Ace didn’t want to talk to him and that made Jack's heart sink and he knew that he had to do better. He was now on the receiving end and didn't like the way it felt knowing that this was how Ace felt when he didn't answer the phone.

You didn’t understand where this new attitude and changes were coming from, but you were in no way, shape, or form complaining about it because of how happy Ace was. 

He had taken Ace out a few times with Jack after apologizing properly to the two of you spending the weekend with him and Ace always came back home to you so happy that he was finally getting to spend time with his dad, so the last thing that you were ever going to do was ruin it. 

You take it that it was Clay yelling at him and Ace not wanting to be around him that served as his wake-up call to get his shit together. 

One night after Jack called Ace to say goodnight, he quickly said that he wanted to talk to you once you were back in your bedroom by yourself. 

“Yes?”

“Uh, how are you? Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine and no.” You were trying to keep this conversation short and sweet so you could go to sleep. Unless it had to do with Ace, you didn’t feel that there was a need to talk to him. 

“Umm, would the two of you want to come to NPLH? It’s December 18th. Ace has never seen me perform before and… neither have you. At least I don't think you have.”

When you were quiet and didn’t give him an answer, he spoke up again.

“I.. Y/N, I’m trying to do right by the both of you and it shouldn’t have taken this long. But I am trying to change and be the best possible version of myself for both of you. I'm tired of the disappointed looks that I get from him as well as you.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, just him. I’m used to being disappointed in you, so my expectations regarding anything having to do with you are in hell. Ace is only three so he’s quick to forgive and forget. However, I am not.”

“I… deserved that. I do need to worry about you because you’re his mother. So what do you say? You would be backstage with all of my friends and family. Safe from the crowd, because I know Ace doesn’t like them.”

Now this had you doing a double take because you had no idea that Jack knew that Ace didn’t like crowds. 

“Don’t look so surprised that I know that. Now does that sound okay with you? I can get him those headphones too to protect his ears since I know he hates loud noises. I’ll come and get you both myself before the show starts.”

“And you don’t think anyone will say anything when they notice that he looks just like you? I want to keep him protected from the life that you live.”

“We can deal with it when the time comes. I mean they’re going to have to find out eventually anyway, right? So what do you say?”

“I guess, but I need three more tickets to give to my best friends who actually help me take care of Ace even though they don’t have to and do it because they love him just as much as I do. Even though Ace let it slip to them that you were his dad and they probably have a grudge against you now, they still like your music… at least I think they do.”

“Of course, whatever you want.  And are they going to say anything? Do I need…”

“They don’t need to sign NDA’s and I didn’t even break mine. So, you’re going to make your own son sign a NDA? He’s the one that said it.”

“Well, no. I guess not.”

“Then we’ll be there.”

The day had finally come and Jack had been nervous from the time that he had woken up. He was now eating breakfast with Urban who noticed that his best friend kept fidgeting. Last night he had sent you the three extra tickets which you immediately sent to Nadia so that she would have them.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked while sliding his orange juice closer to him.

“I… Y/N is coming tonight and she's bringing Ace. I’m actually going to get them before the show and bring them to the arena.”

“Oh, the baby mama and son that you act like don't exist. Got it.”

All Jack did was roll his eyes.

“I deserved that, but I'm trying to be better moving forward. I don't want him to grow up and despise me because at this rate, that's exactly what's going to happen.”

“Like bro…. Your parents don't even know about him. And he's what? Almost four?”

“I was going to also ask her if I could take Ace to see them on Christmas. They might be less mad? I mean they’ll see him tonight, but I don’t know if that’s the time or place to drop that on them.”

“I… Jack….. what? Is he supposed to be their Christmas present? You should have told them when it first happened.”

“Either way it looks bad and they're going to want to kill me so I might as well get it all out in the open.”

“So, you went on and on about how she trapped you, but now you're suddenly all in? What changed?” Urban curiously asked.

“Hearing that he called Clay ‘daddy.’ That's me and I’m the only one he needs to be referring to. And the fact that for about two or three weeks after that happened and I tried to call and talk to him, he wouldn't come to the phone. I've been a shitty person towards Y/N and been a shitty father to my first born.”

“Maggie and Brian are going to kick not only your ass, but Clay’s too.”

“At least Clay has been there since he was a month old. I can't say the same thing.” 

“Just do better moving forward, but do you want a relationship with him or are you just mad about what happened with Clay?”

“A little bit of both, not going to lie. When Y/N sent me that in a text, I was pissed but there's no one to be mad at but myself. And truth be told, I don't even know Y/N like I should. I hardly know anything about her for that to be the person that I have a child with.”

“Does Neelam know any of this? Did Y/N sign an NDA?”

“She doesn't and Y/N did when we first started messing around and if she really wanted to come for me and how I've treated Ace….”

“Deadbeat baby daddy.”

“URB! I was going to say that I'm surprised that she didn't break it.”

“Well you have to think, she's protecting him and herself. And the fact that she lives in Louisville too?”

“I just want us to be able to get along and raise Ace.”

“That's literally all that she probably wants but you were making it hard as hell.”

“I know and I can only imagine the looks on my parents faces.”

It was now around 4 PM when you heard a knock on the door and Ace immediately ran towards it and started to reach up to open it, but stopped once you had scolded him.

“Ace! Baby, get away from the door and wait for mommy to open it.”

“But mommy it's daddy! Hurry up please!”

You had to laugh at him telling you please and opened the door with him right behind you to see Jack staring at you.

“Uh hi.”

“Hi.” You responded flatly, but Ace immediately ran and climbed onto him. He figured at least one person was happy to see him.

“Daddy!”

“Hey bubs. You all ready to go?” 

He eagerly nodded, but all you and Jack did was laugh.

“I think you need shoes first though, it's a little cold.”

Once all three of you arrived at the arena, Jack hopped out of his Jeep and opened your door which you were surprised by before going to get Ace out of his car seat. 

All three of you made your way inside and backstage where a lot of his friends and family had already gathered waiting for the show to start. 

There was a variety of different snacks and drinks on display backstage and you noticed two other little kids running around who you knew were Nemo's daughters and Jack's goddaughters.You immediately saw Clay out of the corner of your eye and he came over to hug you before hugging Ace who held onto him tightly.

“Hey, I'm surprised you actually said yes to coming.”

“Not going to lie, me too. But I really did this for Ace and not me. Everything I do is for him.” You said as you pinched Ace's cheek who smiled at you. You noticed that Ace was now a little more quiet and reserved since he was now around a crowd of people that he didn't know and this was typical. It took him almost a month to not sit by himself in daycare and get more comfortable.

You then saw Jack's parents make their way over to you, but just as you were about to speak to introduce yourself as well as Ace, Jack quickly intervened which surprised you and the last thing that you thought would happen did.

“Mom, dad, this is Y/N and her son, Ace.” You did your best to try and hide your disappointment while Ace was being held by Clay next to you confused. Urban was behind Jack and simply shook his head.

So much for saying that things would be different moving forward. 

You talked to his parents for a little while before Ace mentioned that he was hungry and Clay proceeded to grab him something to snack on. Before long, it was time for Jack to do his set and he had given you the headphones for Ace so that the two of you could watch from the side of the stage. 

But what you didn't notice was the rest of PG whispering to Urban.

“Uh, why does that kid look like a mini version of Jack? And who is she?” 2fo asked Urban who tried not to have a startled look on his face.

“Jack can answer that better than I can.” Was all he said before Neelam quickly inserted herself in the conversation.

“So, you know something we don't know in other words is what you're trying to say, correct?” 

“Look, it's not my place. He'll tell you when he's ready.”

“All I need to know is if I'm going to have a problem out of her.”

“Neelam, she's not like that. At least from what he told me.” 

“Well, you can never be too sure and I need to be prepared. I'll ask him about it later. He's worked entirely too hard to just have someone come and mess it up. Matter of fact I need to make sure she signs an NDA.”

—-

It was around one in the morning when all of you had finally gotten back to the apartment and Jack volunteered to put Ace to bed. The car ride back was a little awkward and of course the two of you didn't want to say anything in front of Ace. Once Jack had tucked Ace in, he came back out to the living room where you were and you noticed that he looked nervous.

“Y/N, I want to keep the both of you safe so that's why I didn't say that he was my son tonight.”

“But from your family and friends? What sense does that make?”

“I… Look, just hear me out. Can he spend the day with me and my family on Christmas day? And he can be with yours on Christmas Eve? I just figured that it wasn’t the time or the place to tell them about the two of you.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you tried not to show how you were feeling on the inside. Christmas had been your favorite holiday up until the time that you were nine. Since then, Ace is the only reason why you started back celebrating it but it still didn't feel the same.

“The time to tell them was four years ago.” You quietly muttered and didn’t say anything after that. 

“Y/N?” Jack called out to you because it had been a few minutes and you had yet to give him an answer.

“Um, you can have him in the afternoon.” That way he could at least open the presents that you had gotten him in the morning.

“But are you going to see your family? I don't want to inconvenience you or keep you from them.”

“No, so it's fine.” You kept it short and sweet and hoped that he would drop it and let it go since you agreed to let Ace go with him.

“Wait, why?” he curiously asked and you couldn’t even blame him for doing so.

“Because I can't see them. And why do you suddenly care so much?”

“Do they not know about Ace too, or?”

“Jack, my family is dead. I literally only have Ace. If I want to visit them, I have to go to the cemetery. So can we drop this now?” You asked while trying to avoid eye contact with him. 

All Jack did was a double take before looking at you with wide eyes.

“Wait… so you’ve…. been by yourself basically this entire time?”

“I don't need your looks of pity. I'm fine.”

“But….”

“Jack, please. I don't want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay um, I'll drop it for now. But, that means that I'm getting both of you on Christmas morning to spend the day with me and my family and you aren't saying no.”

“Just take Ace, I'll be fine.”

“Y/N, you aren't spending Christmas by yourself.” 

“What difference does it make? This is my normal. Being a mom and then being by myself.”

“Well that stops this year. I do not want you to be by yourself. My family will love you. And you have me so there's no reason for you to be alone.”

“Hmm, yeah the baby mama you kept hidden for almost four years? The Only Fans model that you accidentally got pregnant? And I have you? Really? I had to beg you to even show our son an ounce of attention. And not even going to add in the fact that you thought I was lying about the entire thing and treating me like absolute shit.”

“Our kid is not an accident, Y/N. And I promised you that things are going to be different now. I apologize for how I acted towards you because that wasn't right. I was just scared and instead of telling you that, I ignored it until I created an even bigger situation that ended up hurting you, Ace, and myself.”

“He isn’t to me, but for you when I first told you he definitely was.”

“Please Y/N, us arguing is not going to solve anything. I'm going to tell my parents about you and Ace properly. Don't you think he deserves to know his grandparents?”

“Of course I do. I just never thought that I would see the day where this would become a reality. Not going to lie, when Ace got to be around 7 or 8, I was going to leave and move back home.”

“And where is that?”

“Philadelphia. I just needed to be near people that I could trust while he's this small. I was in D.C. since that's where I had gone to school and that's where I had him so I just stayed there until Nadia wouldn't take no for an answer and made me come down here. At least in Philly, I can hopefully buy the house that I grew up in. It's been on sale for some time and I've been saving up for it or at least trying to.”

“Wait, so you still want to leave Louisville?”

“I mean there's nothing here for me. It's not like I grew up here like you did and have a family that I can see whenever I want. The rest of my family didn't want me so there's that.”

“Well, I want you and Ace close to me. We can't do that if you move away.”

“According to you, I was stalking you, remember?”

“Y/N, can we just hold off on discussing that. One thing at a time and once again I'm not here to argue.” 

All you did was cross your arms and sigh as you then heard Jack’s phone go off.

He looked down to see that it was Neelam and she was asking about you.

Neelam- Who is that girl and her son and why does he look like you? Start explaining IMMEDIATELY 

Jack- I'm with her now, I'll text you later

Neelam- Um, no. Explain now.

Jack- His name is Ace and he's my child and his mother's name is Y/N and he's almost four.

Neelam- What in the actual FUCK?

Jack- I'll call you when I leave. 

“Then it's settled. Both of you are coming with me. I have a shitload of presents for him and they’re all at my house so he can open them hopefully before everyone gets there.”

When you didn’t say anything, Jack simply grabbed your hand, startling you.

“Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you, but we need to get one thing straight.”

“What is it?”

“You need to be all in with Ace because I refuse to let you break his heart for the millionth time.”

You were on facetime Nadia, Liv, and Blaire trying to figure out what to wear. It was currently Christmas Eve, and you had already put Ace to sleep when you decided to rummage through your closet for something decent to wear for tomorrow and meet Jack's family properly. 

“What about the one that makes your boobs look big?” Blaire asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Blaire, they’re already big and I’m meeting his PARENTS!”

“Well technically you already did. They just didn't know who you were.” Nadia said as she was examining the black sweater dress that you were holding up.

“And I wonder what they're going to say when Jack tells him tomorrow.” Liv added as she was mixing up the batter for her Christmas cookies.

“They're going to be pissed, I already know. But what am I supposed to say when they ask how we met?” You asked as you were now looking for a pair of shoes to go with the dress.

“Wait, how did yall meet? Because we don't even know.” Blaire curiously asked.

“Nadia knows.” You quietly answered and you simply heard her sigh. 

“Well are yall going to spill it or what!?”

“He was a subscriber to my Only Fans.” You quietly said as you pulled out your red and black knee high boots to go along with your dress.

Blaire spit her eggnog out that she had been drinking and Liv was simply looking at you with her mouth hanging wide open. 

“Um, come again? No pun intended. But… WHAT?” You heard Liv yell and all you did was sigh.

“It happened right before my senior year and I've basically been a single parent ever since.”

“Well at least he's trying to do better for the both of you.”

 “I don't care about me. That ship sailed long ago, the only person that I'm concerned about is Ace.”

“So even if Jack does get his shit all the way together and asks you to be in a relationship so yall can start with a clean slate, you would still say no?” Nadia curiously asked and it made you stop and think for a second.

“Yes.”

“Can we ask why?”

“I have seen the absolute worst in this man and how he treated me before was unacceptable and it will always be in the back of my mind. Instead of owning up to what he did, he called me a liar, a gold digger, claimed I was stalking him when I moved here and got mad when Clay wanted to have a relationship with Ace. How could I date someone like that?”

“He’s changing for the better, Y/N. You never know. But, your reasoning is 100% valid. I didn't know he had done all that.”

“Like he’s trying to be all nice to me all of a sudden and asking how I am or if I need anything but if it doesn't have to do with our son, there is literally no reason for me to talk to him. The conversations are awkward and it's like pulling teeth because he knows that I want absolutely nothing to do with him. Like he has to understand how bad he hurt me and the fact that I didn't have my family or anyone around me at that time to help me when he was born. I was scared shitless. There were some days when I couldn't eat because I had to pay for diapers because he refused to. I had to apply for government assistance until I found a better paying job. I have one now, but yet I’m still struggling. I don't think I will ever forgive him for that. My standards for him are in hell and I told him that the other day. I expect absolutely NOTHING from him. But, I would never talk bad about him in front of Ace. At the end of the day, he's going to be taken care of if it's left up to me. Him, I’m not so sure.”

All they did was simply nod at your response.

“I hear everyone talk about him in such a positive light, but that person that they're referring to? I’ve never met him. I’m on my guard because I just have a feeling that he's going to try and pull some shit.”

It was around noon on Christmas Day and Ace was busy playing with his new toys that Jack had gotten him while you along with his parents had congregated in the corner of the living room to discuss Ace. Jack figured he might as well before the rest of his family started to arrive.

“So, we have something to tell the both of you. And we wanted to tell you before everyone else got here.”  Jack started to say while you were sitting next to him and trying not to fidget. You knew that this wasn't going to go over well and there was nothing that you could do to stop it. You were suddenly now more interested in your bracelet.

“What? What is it?” Maggie asked with concern showing on her face.

“Umm, Ace is my son.”

“Daddy, up!”

And right on cue, Ace yelled for Jack and was soon climbing all over him as he picked him up and started to play with his earrings while you were trying to not have a panic attack.

“Your….. what?” Brian quietly asked as Maggie still hadn't said anything. All she was doing was staring at Ace and finally seeing the resemblance between the two of them. Ace didn’t look like you at all.

“He's mine and Y/N is his mother.”

“How old is he?” Maggie asked as you could tell she was trying not to yell.

“Almost four.”

“WHAT?! And you're just now saying something?”

“Because at first he thought I was lying and only after his money which wasn't true and said that I trapped him. Once the paternity test confirmed that Ace was in fact his, he still wanted nothing to do with him. However, Clay did and he's known him since he was a month old.” You confessed as Jack looked on with wide eyes.

“But, we're in a better place now.” Jack quickly said while chiming in attempting to make himself not sound like a complete deadbeat.

“Hmm.” Was all you said in response as you looked down at your nails.

Before they had a chance to respond, Jack's front door opened and in walked Clay with a bunch of gifts in his hands which you assumed was for Ace since Clay had told you previously he had gotten gifts for him.

The only thought in your head was where you were going to put all of them in your small apartment.

All eyes were on Clay and he quickly got a confused look on his face before having a moment of realization.

“Oh, so he finally told you two about being a deadbeat?” He asked as Ace slid off of Jack’s lap and immediately went over to Clay who was setting the gifts down. When he was finished, he quickly picked him up.

“Seriously?” Was all Jack did as he sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes.

“I… people are going to start to be here soon but we'll finish discussing this later. Y/N, you seem like a sweet girl and I commend you for taking such good care of Ace when you didn’t have anyone to help you.” Was all Maggie said before eyeing her oldest son and she stood up to head into the kitchen while Brian just sat there in disbelief.

It was a few days into the new year when you had gotten a call from a strange number on your way home from work as Ace was asleep in the backseat. At first you declined the call, but when they called three more times in a row, you finally decided to answer.

“Hello?”

“Y/N? This is Katrina.”

“Katrina, who?” You asked confused and wondering how the woman that you did not know suddenly got your number.

“Your Aunt Katrina.”

At that moment all you saw was red. She was the one that refused to take you and decided to place you into the foster system since your mother and her had a long outstanding beef that you had nothing to do with and you didn’t even know what it was about. Yet, you were the one that felt the consequences from it. 

“What do you want and how did you get my number?”

“I… I can explain later, but how far away are you from Philly right now?”

“Why?”

“Your grandmother. They’re saying she has probably weeks or even days to live and ever since they told her that, she has been persistent on us finding you.” She quietly said and it took everything in you not to drop your phone. 

“Finding me for what? Yall didn’t want me remember?” You shot back as you pulled into the parking garage of your apartment building. 

“Y/N, please. It wasn’t that simple. But how soon can you be here? She said that there is no way in hell, her words not mine, that she was leaving this earth without seeing you.”

“I… just have to pack my things along with my son. I’ll drive and I should be there by the morning if I don’t make a lot of stops.”

“I’ll text you the details.”

As soon as you hung up, you were in somewhat of a daze. As many years that have gone by, you thought your grandmother would have passed away already. If you did your math right, she had to be close to 100 by now. You felt that your grandparents were the only other people in your family that truly loved you and would have done anything for you besides your parents and older brother. 

You carried Ace inside while taking off his jacket and laying him down on the couch as you ran around the apartment and trying to pack the essentials of what you two might need. You didn’t plan on staying for very long, but more than likely you were going to stay for her funeral. You figured that it was the least you could do.  And get an explanation on why Katrina had given you up so easily.

A quick text was sent to Nadia, Blaire, and Liv telling them that you were headed back home for a family emergency. All they did was tell you to keep them updated as you were now finishing packing your car for the ten close to eleven hour trip. It was around seven at night when you finally got on the road and hit the highway hoping to get to your grandmother before it was too late. You did your best to keep your tears from falling because you felt that you had been robbed.

All these years, she was alive and you had no idea.

It was true that you could have looked for her if you wanted to, but you had it in your mind that they wanted nothing to do with you.

It was around ten at night when Ace had finally started to stir and noticed that the two of you were still in the car and looked around confused.

“Mommy, where are we going?” You heard him say as he startled you.

“We’re going to see the place where mommy grew up. Or sort of for that matter. It’s going to be a long drive so you can go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Was all he quietly said and you soon looked back in your rearview mirror to see that he had drifted off.

Once you had hit Philly, it was around six in the morning and you decided to find a hotel for you and Ace to stay and actually lay down in a comfortable bed. At least for two hours until you went to go and see her. Being back there was something out of a dream and you made it up in your mind to get a cheesesteak before the two of you left to go back to Louisville since when you get it out of state, it doesn’t quite taste right. 

After getting some much needed sleep, you and Ace set out to your grandmother’s house since that’s where Katrina said she was on hospice as much as you didn’t want to believe her. Once you pulled up to the house, you wanted to cry. It looked the same exact way and it still had the swing set in the front yard that your grandfather built for all of his grandkids. You grabbed Ace out of the backseat, reminded him to mind his manners even if he didn’t need one and proceeded to knock on the door.

You were startled to see your Aunt Katrina open it and it took her a second to notice that it was you seeing as the last time that she was you, you were only nine years old.

“Y/N.”

“Katrina.”

“And who is this little one?” She asked as she stepped to the side to let the both of you in.

“My name is Ace! I’m three, almost four. What’s your name, ma’am?” Ace piped up and said which you were surprised by seeing as anytime he was around new people, he would hide behind you. 

“Well, aren't you cute? Named after your uncle, I see. That makes me your great Aunt Katrina.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Ace added while holding his hand out for her to shake and you couldn’t help but to laugh.

“She’s upstairs.” Was all Katrina said to you and your legs instantly felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. You nodded towards her and started to make your way up the steps while holding Ace’s hand. Once you got to her room, the door was open and you could hear the sound of the television that was currently on The Price is Right which made you laugh to yourself. When you were at home sick that’s what you would watch.  You walked in to see that her eyes were closed, but you quickly heard her voice.

“About time you showed up. Took them forever to track you down and find you.” Was all she said as her eyes opened and smiled at you.

“My sweet Y/N. My youngest granddaughter.”

That was the moment that you immediately burst into tears as you sat on the bed and hugged her.

“I….” You started to say but she quickly shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re here now and that’s what’s important.” She comforted you as she held you tighter.

“Now, who’s this young man?” She said when the two of you finally broke apart and she now noticed Ace standing next to you.

“Your great grandson, Ace.”

“Ace, I love that name. You know you’re named after one of the sweetest boys that I ever knew.” She said as Ace climbed up to sit next to her.

“Really? My mommy always tells me that I’m named after someone really special.”

“That you are.”

Your grandmother had sent Ace downstairs for Katrina to watch him as she wanted to speak to you alone and now you were suddenly nervous.

“First off, never think for a second that a day went by and I didn’t think of you. Or that I didn’t do my hardest to try and find you after you had gone into the system. Katrina was dead wrong for how she handled it because of a simple grudge, but also more wrong in telling those people that me and your grandfather didn’t want to take you. Instead I spent years trying to track you down with no luck. I wanted you and wanted to keep you, but you had moved around so many times that eventually, the state lost the file that tracked where you were leaving me no leads. I looked from the time that you first went in to try and get you back, up until the time you turned eighteen.”

“You… wanted to keep me?”

“Of course I did! Left up to me, there was no way in hell one of my grandchildren was going to be put through that, but… I’m just happy to see you alive, well, and thriving. That son of yours is beautiful and he has your smile. He has the best mother that anyone could ask for and I know it.”

“So, all this time?”

“It wasn’t until my diagnosis about a month ago when I said, no, demanded that Katrina find you. It was the least she could do for what she did. She started to feel guilty where it started to look like I would never find you about the time you would have been fifteen. I figured if these are going to be my last few days here, I need to see Y/N. I wanted to tell you how much I love you and that I have a little surprise for you.”

“I’m just happy I got to see you and that you got to meet my heart outside of my chest and reason for living. What is it?”

“I know how much your parents and your brother meant to you and that you don’t have many things to remember them by. So, I noticed that the house all of you used to live in went on sale….”

All you did was gasp and your heart started beating a mile a minute having an idea about what she was about to say.

“And I bought it. And put the deed in your name. I know that you’re in Louisville right now, but whenever you’re ready, it’ll be here waiting for you.” She said as she opened her bedside table and handed it to you.

“I… I literally don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. That’s the least that I could do for you. I hope you can accept that as my apology and you have to promise me that you’ll pass it down to Ace so it can always stay in the family.”

—

Your grandmother passed the very next day and knew that she only held on long enough so that she could see you and make sure that you were okay. At least you now knew that she never stopped trying to find you while you were in the system and wanted to keep you so that she and your grandfather could raise you themselves. You were currently at your hotel with Ace as he was playing with one of the many toys that Jack had gotten for him when your phone suddenly went off. You had been in such a daze for the past forty eight hours that you had forgotten to even look at your phone or tell him what had happened for that matter. Your only priority was getting here safely before it was too late. Because you knew that you wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if you didn’t. 

“Hello?” You tiredly said as you glanced at the clock on the nightstand that read 11 AM. Soon it would be time to head over to your grandmother’s house to start planning the funeral.

“Where have you been? And why haven’t you answered my calls? Where is Ace?” Jack all said in one breath and you quickly got annoyed. You had enough to deal with at the moment.

“Well hello to you too. I’m okay, thanks for asking.”

“Where are you and why haven’t I heard from you? I went by your apartment and you weren’t there.”

“I’m in Philly. I’m back home.” Was all you could get out before Jack immediately started to raise his voice and not letting you explain the reasoning for you actually being there.

“And you took my son with you?”

“Uh? Why wouldn’t I? He’s my child and I wanted to show him where I grew up and don’t you have a career to focus on? You were going to keep him the entire time I was up here?”

“So, that’s the game we’re going to play now, huh?” He said and you couldn’t help but to be confused. 

“Jack, what are you even talking about? Who is playing games?”

“That was your damn plan the entire time. Move back home and take Ace with you.”

“Jack, that’s not…”

“Okay, I got something for you too. Expect me to file for full custody once he’s back across state lines.”

He immediately hung up and you were left speechless. 

You knew it.

You fucking knew he would pull some shit like this.

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[homoeroticfisticuffs]

WIP Wednesday - Sambucky Sickfic

Been working on this one on and off for a few weeks now whenever I've had the free time and I keep forgetting to post a WIP!! So here it is finally lol... working title is "There's No Need to Be Brave," from I Will by Mitski :] Once this is finished I'd like it to be maybe closer to/over 10k like the rest of my more recent fics, and I will only be posting the finished version to my AO3 because I just prefer to only post WIPs on here ;w; anyway Sambucky

Word count: 4.1k

He hadn’t even spent two weeks back in Brooklyn before he got the text; not from Sam, no, from Sarah, which made this whole situation all the more hilarious.

“Hey Bucky, I really hate to ask you for yet another favor after all you’ve done for my family, but my stubborn jackass of a brother got himself real sick with a bad cold somehow and I just don’t have the time to take care of both him and the boys. Would you mind maybe coming back down here to stay and watch over him for a bit? I think you’re the only other person he’d let see him like this.”

(The fact that he was actually checking and responding to his texts now was a new development for him, one he was glad Dr. Raynor wasn’t around to see. He really didn’t need to see her sarcastic grin or hear her smug ass voice giving him an “I told you so” or “see how easy it is” or whatever the hell she’d have to say.)

He smirked to himself as he saw Sarah’s text; it was timestamped at 6:47 AM, probably sent out of exasperation while trying to get the boys ready for school and also having to deal with taking care of Sam. The thought of Sam Wilson, the famous Falcon and now the brand new Captain America, lying helpless and miserable in bed was admittedly a little funny. He was probably wrapped up in a bunch of blankets right now with a bulky ice bag sitting atop his head and a thermometer sticking out of his mouth. It really was comical when he thought about it.

“No worries, Sarah. I can come help out.”

He genuinely didn’t mind going back down there to offer his help, and he would have done it either way to help the people he cares about, but he also loved being a little sweet on Sarah because of how mad it made Sam.

He also needed to get out of Brooklyn, as much as he hated it. After offering closure to Yori, things just hadn’t felt the same. It didn’t really feel like home anymore. Part of him wished he could just stay in Louisiana; and maybe he could. The thought wasn’t so bad. 

He sighed for a moment, looking down at his duffle bag that he never really got around to fully unpacking in the first place from his last trip. He could use the travel, really; it’s not like he had any other plans anyway, and it was always a nice treat to visit the Wilsons. Plus, this would give him a lot of ammunition and blackmail to hold over Sam’s head for a good long while. He smiled at the thought of bantering and bickering with him as he packed, looking forward to getting to see him again, though he’d never in a million years admit it out loud.

-

The sun was starting to set over the water in Delacroix, the last few rays of sunlight beaming in through the windows and casting a warm glow over the living room. Sam laid exhausted on the couch, hopelessly flipping through different TV channels in hopes of finding something other than the countless shitty movies and reality shows that litter the guide on the screen. He sighed in defeat before giving up and leaving it on a channel showing a cheesy eighties action flick, tossing the remote aside and curling further into his blanket.

“You feeling any better today?” Sarah asked from the kitchen, starting to cut up some vegetables to prepare dinner for the night: a nice and hearty vegetable stew.

“No,” Sam groaned softly, his voice weak from illness. “If anything, today’s been worse.”

She sighed, and he felt a stab of guilt at the sound. He hated putting all this on her. “Well, we’ve just gotta make sure you’re taking meds at the right times then and try and stay on top of that fever. Plenty of rest and fluids, it’ll be gone in no time. Can’t keep Captain America down for too long.”

He chuckled, knowing she was giving him shit for his new title. It was still taking some time for everyone to get used to, especially himself. No one had exactly seen it coming. 

He hated this, all of it. He hated feeling this sick and miserable, and he hated being so useless and unable to help Sarah out around the house and with the boys. He knew she managed just fine on her own in the years that he was gone, but part of him will always feel a need to help and protect her whenever he can. She had gotten used to having him around lately, and had shared some of her responsibilities with him so that she wouldn’t be so overwhelmed with the workload. Now that he was unable to help take some of that weight off her shoulders, she’s been a lot more noticeably stressed out since he got sick.

His phone rang then, and he lifted it to see that it was Joaquin video calling him. He reluctantly hit the accept button; not because he didn’t enjoy talking to Joaquin, just that it was a little difficult to talk at all in his current state.

“Hey man!” Joaquin greeted him through the phone. “Oh, shit, you don’t look so good. You alright?”

“Yeah, just got a cold,” Sam responded quietly. It hurt his throat a little to speak, but he was fairly sure he could handle a brief phone call for now. “What’s up?”

“I was just checking in to say hey. You mentioned not feeling so hot so I just wanted to see how you were doing. Anything I can do to help? I could DoorDash you some soup or medicine or something.”

It earned a good laugh from Sam, possibly being the only real smile he had cracked yet today. “Nah, man, I’m alright. I doubt any sane Dasher would come this far out, anyways.”

“Well, offer’s still on the table if you end up changing your mind,” Joaquin said earnestly. “I’ll let you go for now, though. Rest up buddy, and take care! I’ll be thinking of you. Hope you heal up fast!”

“Yeah, me too,” Sam replied, exhaustion clear in his voice. He was on day three of the cold now, with no sign of it improving. He was starting to get really tired of it. “I’ll keep in touch. Thanks for checking in.”

“No problem, man. And seriously, rest up, you sound like shit,” Joaquin laughed. “Okay bye, talk soon.”

“Seeya.”

Once the call had ended, Sam finally let out a couple of coughs that he had been holding in and took a big long sip of his water; engaging that much in a conversation, even if it was short, had rendered him a little worse off than he was before he took the call. Saying a couple short sentences a day was one thing, but his throat was seriously sore, and he sounded absolutely miserable with how nasally his voice was from being so congested. He let out a deep sigh before unwrapping yet another cough drop and tossing it in his mouth, closing his eyes and leaning his head back on the couch.

Suddenly Sam heard the sound of a motorcycle approaching the house. He was a little too fatigued and feverish to connect the dots immediately, but he lifted his head and squinted his eyes at Sarah in confusion, wondering who or what the hell it could be before it finally clicked in his head after a few too many moments.

“You didn’t,” he said around the cough drop, unable to believe what he thought might have happened without him knowing.

“I had to!” she responded, her hands going up to defend herself from Sam’s criticism that she could already tell was coming. She moved quickly around the kitchen, trying her best to get dinner done in a timely manner and avoid getting any more grief from her brother. Sam noticed now that she was preparing five bowls instead of four, and he heard the motorcycle outside turn off.

“You really didn’t,” he said, exhausted. He tried to stand up slowly, grumbling to himself in the process. “Now I’ve gotta deal with his ass. Can’t just have my damn stew in peace.”

“Would you calm down? This is a good thing,” Sarah chastised him, getting irritated with his attitude. “Having an extra set of hands around here will be a big help. Not that you’d know what accepting help feels like,” she added, the last sentence being said under her breath, but still loud enough for Sam to hear.

Dumbfounded, Sam opened his mouth to hit her with another smartass reply, but he was interrupted by a knock at the door. 

Sarah quickly dumped a chopped up onion into the pot of broth on the stove before going over to the door, unlocking it and opening it for none other than the one and only James Buchanan Barnes to enter the house with a bag slung over his shoulder. He moved his sunglasses to rest on top of his head before he smiled at Sarah, and she went in for a hug. Sam could feel his fever rising as his blood boiled at the sight of it.

“Welcome back!” she said excitedly, looking him over. “I’m glad you could make it! Do you need help with your bag or anything?”

“I am too,” Bucky replied through a smile, his voice dropping lower than it needed to. “And no, I should be alright, thanks. Whatever’s cookin’ smells real good, what’s for dinner?” He freely carried himself throughout the space as he responded, and his familiarity and comfortability with the house made Sam feel a little funny.

“Just some stew, nothing fancy,” she said as she went back to stirring the pot and starting to chop up more ingredients. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Bucky drawled casually, walking over to where Sam was standing by the couch. He set his bag down and got a good look at him, head to toe. “Not looking so hot, Cap. Feeling a little under the weather?”

“Something like that,” Sam rasped before a cough broke through involuntarily. He sat back down on the cushions, grabbing for his water bottle, but Bucky was faster; he handed it to him gently, and Sam eyed him, annoyed, before reluctantly taking it from his hand. “Thanks.”

“Yeah,” Bucky responded a little quietly, pursing his lips. Sam knew his annoyance with the gesture didn’t go unnoticed. “You’re welcome.”

A door opened down the hall, and Bucky heard them before he saw them. “Is that uncle Bucky?!” Cass yelled excitedly, and both boys ran towards him as fast as they could.

“It sure is!” Bucky beamed back, reaching down a little to meet them halfway, picking them both up in each arm and swinging them around the living room with a big smile. Bucky had always been a natural when it came to the boys, and Sam found himself feeling a tinge of fondness seeing them all get along so well. Bucky used his vibranium arm to lift AJ up onto his shoulders, still swinging Cass around in a circle. “I’m playing doctor for uncle Sammy this week, if you can believe it.”

“No way!! A whole week? That’ll be so awesome!!” Cass exclaimed, as Bucky started to set them both back down on their feet.

“Yeah,” Sam groaned, barely audible. His voice dripped with sarcasm and with dread. “So awesome.”

“Could you pick me up from school one day this week so that everyone will see that I’m friends with the Winter Soldier and think I’m super cool?” AJ asked quickly, looking up at him expectantly. 

Bucky laughed nervously, looking over towards Sam for help. Seeing him look so lost and unsure what to say was endearing and funny enough to make Sam crack a bit of a smile.

“Actually yeah,” he said. “I’m usually the one who picks them up. They’ve had to carpool the past couple days.”

“Well, uh,” Bucky started, “my bike can only really fit two, and I don’t wanna try and stick ‘em both on there. Could I borrow your car?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just get ‘em on time.”

“Alright boys,” Sarah interrupted from the kitchen, stirring the stew and turning the stove down. “Dinner’s ready, come get it.”

Sam went to stand, but Bucky gently put his hand up to stop him.

“Stay put,” he said, “I’ll get you some.”

Sam found the charity somewhat irritating at first; but he couldn’t deny that he really did not want to get up to get his own bowl. So to have Bucky bring one over to him was… nice.

The boys both ran over to the kitchen, grabbing their bowls and waiting patiently for Sarah to be done serving herself before they stepped in to get their own stew. As they did, Bucky moved to the other side of the kitchen and got out four glasses from the cabinet, opening up the fridge to get out the pitcher of sweet tea, filling them all up with ice before pouring the tea in. Sam furrowed his brow in confusion; he remembered Bucky being obsessed with Sarah’s sweet tea the first time he tried it. Why wasn’t he having a glass?

He set three of the teas at the table, then brought the last one over to the couch. He then, though, set the tea down on the coffee table, not in front of Sam but a good ways beside his water bottle, right in front of the other seat on the couch. 

“You don’t need the sugar,” Bucky deadpanned preemptively, already seeing Sam’s glare and knowing he was about to complain. He picked up Sam’s water bottle, making his way back to the kitchen.

“I don’t remember you being a doctor,” he shot back anyway, challenging him with an angry stare.

“Sam,” Sarah firmly chastised from her seat at the table. “Quit it.”

Bucky chuckled, and looked back over to him with a mischievous grin. “Yeah Sam,” he said with raised eyebrows, continuing his trek to the kitchen to get their dinner and fill up Sam’s water.

Sam grumbled to himself, wanting to argue yet again but choosing instead to just grind his jaw and crunch up the remains of his cough drop so that he could eat. With the way things were already going, he swore to himself that he’d kill Bucky before the week was over.

-

Like every night before, Sam’s symptoms got worse once night fell. Blowing his nose every ten minutes and barely able to speak, he was popping cough drops constantly, putting in a new one almost as soon as the last one faded away. He didn’t feel up to doing anything other than laying his sorry ass on the couch with his blankets and flipping through the channels on TV, and he really, really just wanted to be alone; but that wasn’t an option right now, seeing as Bucky had to be here, sitting on the opposite end of the couch. He was at the very least thankful that he was being silent (it was easier that way to pretend he wasn’t even there), just reading one of his books while Sam lounged comfortably though unable to engage in conversation. He doubted he would want to even if he could.

He was tired, exhausted even, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night. He never could when he was sick; each night he’d fall asleep, rest for an hour or two, wake up coughing or choking on his own spit, stay awake for an hour, fall asleep for another two hours or so, and repeat until he gave up on sleeping once the sun finally rose. It was miserable, and after several days, he was starting to feel the effects of sleep deprivation as well as the cold.

An alarm went off on Bucky’s phone then, startling Sam out of his thoughts.

“What’s that for?” he croaked, instantly regretting it when he felt the dull swollen ache in his throat and heard how pitiful his voice sounded.

Bucky looked at him with pursed lips. “Your medicine,” he said. “It helps to keep you on a schedule.”

Sam huffed in annoyance, but he was too tired to argue.

Bucky put a bookmark in his book and stood from his spot at the couch, taking Sam’s lack of protest as acceptance. Wordlessly he made his way into the kitchen, sorting through the medicine cabinet because he knew just where everything was, and Sam decided to ignore yet again the way that made him feel. He was tired, that was all. That’s why he was overthinking the way Bucky occupied the space like he belonged there, surely. That was all it was.

Sam turned his attention back to the TV, choosing to focus instead on the rerun of Bar Rescue that was currently playing, even though he had been watching this same damn show for hours now and he had kind of lost interest in how much alcohol this particular bar was wasting every month.

Bucky returned after a few minutes, longer than Sam expected it to take to pour out a little dose of cough syrup, but when he did he saw it was because he was also holding a steaming hot mug in his other hand.

“Made you some tea,” he said, setting the mug down on the coffee table in front of Sam. “Should help you sleep.”

Sam just stared up at him, feeling frustration bubbling up in him at the feeling of being constantly coddled like this, but he was too exhausted to put up too much of a fight. He could manage a little bit though.

“I don’t like tea.”

Bucky sighed, irritated but not surprised by Sam’s resistance. “Just drink it.”

Still glaring, he wordlessly reached for the medicine in Bucky’s hand and downed it like a shot, not wanting the taste to linger. His nose scrunched up at the flavor anyway and he reluctantly reached for the tea, blowing on it for a moment before giving it a sip. It actually wasn’t too bad; he could taste the lemon, honey, ginger, and…

“Is that whiskey?”

“Yeah, it is,” Bucky replied, beginning to walk back over to the kitchen to put the medicine back up. “It’s a hot toddy. You’ve never had one?”

“No. Sounds old.”

Bucky chuckled a bit in response. “I guess it is. I used to make ‘em a lot back in the day, they work real well, trust me.” He then came back over to stand by the couch, looking down at where Sam was laying.  He thought for a moment, and his eyes squinted just a bit. “Do you wanna sleep out here or in the bedroom?”

“I’m fine here,” Sam replied, his voice barely registering above a whisper. The drink was helping, though, as much as he hated to admit it. “You can take the bed.”

Bucky nodded, sitting back down in his spot at the end of the couch and picking his book back up. “‘Kay.”

Sam kept sipping on his mug, drinking on it slowly until the last of it was barely warm. He felt his eyes slowly getting heavier as well, also due to the nighttime medicine making him drowsy and sleepy. It wasn’t long before he couldn’t fight to stay awake any longer, finally letting his eyelids fall shut and stay that way, curled up into his blankets.

-

He woke up with a sharp and fearful intake of breath, sitting up straight as quick as a bullet and immediately starting to cough up the phlegm that had tried to choke him in his sleep. As soon as he did, Bucky was at his side in a moment’s notice, kneeling beside the bed and gently rubbing his back while he held Sam’s water bottle in his other hand. It took Sam a few tries, but once he properly cleared his airways, he took several heavy and labored breaths to try and recover from the anxiety of it all and to return his breathing to normal as much as he could. Having Bucky there was definitely a help; whenever this would happen while he was alone, it took him a lot longer to calm himself down, nerves running rampant with the fact that he could have almost died from asphyxiation (or so he convinced himself).

With one last deep breath, he looked over at Bucky, who was closer to him than he expected him to be. He squinted in confusion as he huffed, and looked over to see a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor opposite the coffee table.

“You slept on the floor?” he whispered.

Bucky pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah. I sleep better that way.”

Sam understood the sentiment; he remembered having a talk with Steve about it when they first met. Sam also understood but didn’t comment on the fact that it was probably also so that Bucky could keep a better eye on him this way. He decided yet another time that he didn’t want to explore how he felt about it.

Bucky handed him his water bottle, and he drank greedily. He needed to clear some of the thicker saliva out of his mouth so that he wouldn’t choke on it again, at least not for a while. The coolness of the ice-cold water made him sigh with relief as it eased some of the pain in his throat on the way down.

“Lean up a bit,” Bucky spoke softly, his hand leaving Sam’s back as he stood to grab another pillow from the other end of the couch. He slotted it behind Sam, stacking it with the pillows that were already there. “You gotta stay upright.”

Sam leaned back into the new pillow arrangement, and it felt all wrong. He didn’t know if he could sleep sitting up, and when he tried to rest his head, his neck bent at an awkward angle. He scowled and scooted down the cough enough to get comfortable, trying his best to stay as vertical as he could.

“There,” Bucky said, standing up and stepping back. Sam noticed he was only wearing a pair of lounge shorts, his dog tags dangling over his bare chest. “That should help.”

“Why are you doing all this?” he heard himself say, not entirely intending to speak his thoughts aloud. His voice was soft and slow with sleep as the question fell out. “Going through all this trouble just for me?”

Bucky took in a breath before responding. “Because you’re my friend, and I care about you.”

Sam would be lying if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat at that; getting Bucky to admit literally anything about his feelings (in any form other than a complaint) was no small feat. He smiled a little at the thought of being the reason for it. “Thank you, Buck. It’s mutual.”

“Good,” Bucky huffed, his discomfort palpable. He clearly was not used to this kind of talk. “If you tell anyone I said that, I’ll deny it.”

Sam huffed out a small laugh. “Of course. Can’t have people knowing the Winter Soldier’s gone all soft.”

“Exactly. I’ve got a reputation to keep.”

Sam laughed again and pulled his blankets tighter to him, getting as comfortable as he could in his new sleeping position. He turned his head to the side and let his eyes drift shut for a moment. “Aren’t you nervous about getting sick, though?”

“Perk of the serum. Haven’t been sick since the thirties.”

“What makes you so good at all this then?” Sam asked, his voice becoming less and less audible as he felt himself start to get sleepy again. “The caring stuff.”

Bucky paused and looked down at the floor for a moment before gathering himself. “I used to care for Steve a lot when he’d get sick. Which was pretty much all the time, so I learned a few tricks along the way. Glad they’re coming in handy.”

“Me too,” Sam mumbled, the words barely coming out. “He was… real lucky.”

Sam didn’t stay awake long enough to hear the way Bucky’s breath hitched at the comment, or see the way his eyes watered ever-so-slightly; but when he fell back asleep, he slept through the night for the first time all week, knowing that Bucky was right there next to him.

Would love initial opinions/critique on this if you have any !! And again this is only a WIP, I'll probably keep posting more WIPs as I work on it and I'll make a little announcement post whenever I finish it and post it on my AO3. Just wanted to get a little bit of it out there after talking about it for so long. Anyway thank you for reading I hope you have a nice day :]

[myfairkatiecat]

The Katielife Soap Opera™️

Here's the drama that's going on, all in the past 24 hours! I kid you not. 24. I almost said 48 but then did the math and realized it really was 24. This day will never end

Part 1: The Roommate Saga

Making this one short bc I've told you all about it, but long story short: my roommate in the first semester was seeing this ugly ass guy and she was on and off with him in this awful situationship. He ended up giving her mono (which he knew he had) and she still went back to him. Eventually she ended them for good--until she was drunk at a party last weekend! Okay but seriously they're done for good now.

Don't believe her? Yeah, neither did I. You can read all about it in my past roommate saga posts, which have been made. But now there's ANOTHER guy! I found out bc last night he slid a note under our door telling her to send him a cute pic! She spilled the tea and it turns out he's a player but he's cute so she's going for it anyway! Technically he's Christian, so she's like, "he doesn't break The Rule!" But... he's... he's a fuckboy... I am floored by her poor decision making.

Part 2: The Mr. Friendtoallwomen Saga

Mr. Friendtoallwomen has been making friends with a lot of women at this college. He's a genuinely nice guy and even made friends with me and my best friend. But here's the thing... he always has a crush on a new one of those women. He's always asking girls out. He hangs out with all these girls one on one. He's just desperate.

Desperate, but genuinely nice, so my friend doesn't want to STOP being friends with him.

Then it became increasingly obvious that he liked her.

And she began to catch feelings for him, but we all warned her it was a bad idea and she agreed. She eventually, after an agonizing week, managed to lose feelings for him.

He was being super touchy feely with her the other night, but then abruptly switched on the same night to being touchy with another of our friends. Afterwards, he told my best friend that he liked the other friend. (The other friend already had been asked out by him and rejected him.) My best friend cried about it before remembering that she didn't like him or want to date him.

Mr. Friendtoallwomen got stood up by the other girl, and is now back to liking my best friend. But my best friend has bigger problems now...

Part 3: The Urgent Care Saga

For you see, then my best friend got very very sick. Incredibly sick. Her roomate and I were incredibly worried about her (even her roomate, who is an overall terrible person and always mean to her, which is how you KNOW something is wrong). (Oh I should do a tea spill session on why we hate her roommate on another date.) So I went to get my car to take her to urgent care but found out my key was broken. Awesomesauce.

I have an old car with a manual key insert though, so it was ok and I was able to get my car working.

I take her to urgent care. We sit in the waiting room for 40 minutes while she's about to puke, trash talking the people working there in Spanish because they weren't doing their jobs? Like they just sat there gossipping while they had her id and insurance card.

She eventually gets in, sees a male doctor, the male doctor figures out she's on her period and dismisses her entire illness as symptoms of Being A Woman. When she pointed out that she had a fever, he considered that it could be an STD. She said no, it's not that, I'm not sexually active. He considers pregnancy. She again is like did you not just hear me. By the way, if you're wondering what her symptoms were and why he was assuming THAT had to be the cause? WHO KNOWS?! major nausea, involuntary shaking, fever, hot cold flashes, inability to move, fuzzy vision, wheezing, coughing up green chunks, and being unable to think definitely seem like your average womanhood symptoms.

He gave her some nausea meds, referred her to a gyn (????????) and sent her home. (???????????????????)

Part 4: The First Breakup Saga

Today, I get a text from a friend from home who said he broke up with his boyfriend. This was major news. The two of them have been dating for two years. Even worse, all of their friends are the same people.

Now, I knew their relationship wasn't going to work out. The guy I was friends with first just has some quirks about him that meant he and this other guy, who I also liked a lot and is a great person, were never going to be able to work out long term. It's complicated and I don't want to get into it, but I just knew.

I still felt awful for him, though. So when he needed someone to talk to, I was there for him and let him explain the story. Apparently the guy did it in a few text messages out of nowhere after a week of silence. A+ communication, folks. My friend said he's not even angry, he's just sad and still loves him. I jokingly told him to put on SOUR.

Basically, my friend was broken up with (for the exact reason I figured would happen) and I texted my family (who was close with these friends and who also were worried their relationship wouldn't work out) and told them it happened. I needed somewhere I could say "I'm glad they broke up sooner rather than later" without seeming insensitive, and that couldn't be my friend group. But I really did feel for my friends.

While I'm on this call, I get a text from my brother saying he wants advice on how to break up with his girlfriend.

Part 5: The Second Breakup Saga

I leave the call with my friend to talk to my brother. He's fifteen, he's in a great, healthy relationship with a girl he was close friends with, and I'm like, HELLO??? They were a fantastic relationship. They were good friends, grew closer and closer until they were obviously going to date, and then they started dating and everything was great.

And then my brother texts and basically says the same thing my friend's boyfriend said about their relationship. I was like, this cannot be happening.

I grilled my brother for reasons, making him articulate his feelings (he's a 15 year old boy. he's scared of emotions. I get it.) He basically says the vibes feel weird and he wants the friendship back. My heart is breaking for his girlfriend because they're so cute and sweet and she loves him so much, but I agree he shouldn't string her along, no matter how sad it is. So I tell him to not do it over text, and he agrees.

He wants to do it in person, but it isn't going to be an option, so we resolved he would do it over facetime and I coached him slightly on how to talk to her about it gently. I mention the breakup between my friend and his boyfriend.

My brother goes oh yeah, about that....

Part 6: The Accidentally Starting a Rumor Saga

Turns out, remember how I texted my family? Here I'll copy and paste that part: I texted my family (who was close with these friends and who also were worried their relationship wouldn't work out) and told them it happened. I needed somewhere I could say "I'm glad they broke up sooner rather than later" without seeming insensitive, and that couldn't be my friend group. Yeah so remember how that happened?

Turned out, my brother opened that message sequence while a mutual friend of us and the boyfriends who broke up was looking over his shoulder. That friend took the phone and read over the whole dang exchange, seeing me say that I was secretly glad it happened. It looked really really really bad.

He went into basically shock, because no one thought this couple was gonna break up (EXCEPT ME!!! BECAUSE I KNEW MY FRIEND REALLY REALLY WELL!!!!!) and he was really attatched to them both. He found out simultaneously that the two of them were officially over AND that I never believed in them in the first place! And now he's probably going to spread that around! Which is great!

I texted my friend to let him know that this happened and told him I was so sorry. Well... I told him about the "this guy found out by looking at my brother's texts" thing. I didn't tell him the whole "I never thought this relationship was going to work" thing, and I am PRAYING that doesn't get spread around. But this guy is in high school, and high schools are breeding grounds for atrocious rumors.

THIS WAS ALL IN 24 HOURS

THIS DAY WILL NEVER END

[mimihasmotionsickness]

Home Again

(unedited)

II.

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Y/N was an anxious mess at the moment. When she felt her anxiety kicking in, which happened often, she would just surround herself with her two friends and her family. That wasn't a choice for her now. It was Saturday and she was going to a new college in two days, and she was also in a completely different state from her family and friends. She kept thinking to herself how this change was necessary. She knew she needed this.

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She awkwardly stood outside her new apartment and fidgeted with her car keys. Her roommate was named Sarah Cameron. A girl who seemed to be the complete opposite of Y/N. Y/N had already sent a text to her saying that she arrived, so she didn't want to knock. A couple seconds later, a girl her height opened the door. “Y/N?!” The girl exclaimed with a bright smile on her face.

Y/N couldn't help but smile and giggle. “Hi Sarah!” She responded as she was pulled into a hug.

“I'm so excited you're here! I've been waiting for this all week. Oh my god, how was the drive here? Are you tired? Do you want some water? Come in!”

Y/N followed Sarah into the apartment and responded to her multiple questions. “It was good, but I think the people that drive around here are a little insane. I'm kind of tired, but I did chug 3 Redbulls, and yes some water would be nice.”

Y/N leaned against the counter as she watched Sarah pour her some water. “It feels so unreal that I'm actually back in the Outer Banks,” Y/N said as Sarah handed her a cup.

Sarah gave her a confused look, “Wait are you from here??”

Y/N nodded her head in confirmation. “Yup I moved to Georgia when I was like 13, but I decided to come back here. I hated it there. I tried college down there my freshman year, and it was awful. Never again,” she said as she shivered remembering her first year of college.

All Sarah could think about was her earlier conversation with JJ, Pope, Kie, and John B. This was the same Y/N that they were talking about. She was quickly snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a voice call out to her. “Uh Sarah? You good dude?” Y/N asked as she took another sip of her water.

Sarah nodded her head, “Yup! Just peachy! I just zoned out for a second, but anyways I can't believe that you used to live here. Are you excited to see people you used to know?”

“Hell no. I'm praying they don't remember me. I actually don't think they would. I look a lot different from 13 year old me. I’m not gonna lie to you, I was kind of odd when I was a kid. I had this whole anime phase. It was pretty bad.” Just the thought of it made Y/N want to die. She thought naruto running was the coolest thing ever at the time💔

“It's okay you were cringe, but free I get it. I used to have a bad One Direction phase. I was reading Hobama and Kidnapped by One Direction fics on Wattpad,” Sarah admitted as she hung her head in shame.

Y/N bursted out in laughter. “Holy shit dude we’re basically the same person, but in different fonts.”

Sarah joined in on laughing, but then she remembered the party. “Oh Y/N! Do you want to come to a frat party with me and my friends tonight?” Sarah asked.

“Hell no,” Y/N immediately said, “Wait, that was kinda harsh, my bad. Don't get me wrong I want to meet your friends and hang with y'all, but I've never really been a party person. Plus I still need to unpack, and then sleep. I've been up since 4 AM.”

Sarah pouted, but she didn't protest. “It's okay I'll drag you to one with me eventually <3 Do you want help with grabbing your things from your car?”

“How did you do the heart thing? Actually, never mind! Help would be nice yes please,” Y/N said as she grabbed her car keys. The two headed out to grab all of the things Y/N brought with her from Georgia.

An excruciating painfully long hour later, both of the girls decided that they were pooped and took a nap in their rooms. Y/N knocked tf out as soon as she put her bedsheets on the bed. When she woke up again it was already 10 PM, and the she checked her texts.

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Twt time😈

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NOTES: CHAPTERS TWO YAY!!! i literally have class in 6 hours i need to go sleep bye

@bloodofadoll @amterasuu

[mi-co-uk]

coming clean

blue!reader x saviour!matt

─── blue readers past has caught up with her just in time to rescue her when she needs it the most - childhood best friend and saviour matt wants to help every step of the way.

WARNINGS: mentions of abandonment, very vague mentions of trouble eating and sleeping, alcoholic / deadbeat parents mentioned. the series itself will contain heavy angst , fluff and smut 𖦹

I've never written a fic before so any feedback and support is appreciated !

p.s the grammar is wrong but I like it that way coz it feels like a diary entry but if it's distracting I can change it :3

pls enjoy <3

MASTERLIST

prev parts: intro // 1 // 2

CHAPTER 3 - "im sorry"

MATTS POV

I watch as she looks at herself in the mirror with nothing but dead eyes. it's unbearably painful to see her like this. she's just so broken.

it's been a week of this now. I remember nick and chris coming home, telling me they'd seen her, and how they were petrified for her. nick recalled her tugging down her sleeves, set tight against her arms in a failed attempt to hide the bruises. chris mentioned how she wouldn't move away when her boyfriend edged closer to her - but her arms twitched instead - as she radiated pure anxiety.

I'd never got FOMO from my brothers leaving the house without me before, usually id appreciate the empty house and time to myself. this time was completely opposite. It made me sick to my stomach hearing them replay everything that happened when they ran into them in the record shop, not to mention they just let her go.

if I had been there, I don't care what I would've had to do to protect her from him but I would've done it. no matter what.

she steps closer to the mirror, poking at her face and examining it.

he's had her for way too long. he's never getting her back again.

I've been trying to stick to a routine for her sake. I know how much she struggles without one, and despite how much safer she is now to before, I know she needs just a little extra sense of security to feel like she actually is safer.

she's been staying in my room. I was initially planning to take the couch but when i began to leave on the first night, she tugged on my shirt, pulling me down into the bed with her. I think she just doesn't want to feel alone. we keep a distance between each other, having a conversation just through eye contact before her eyes tend to weigh down on her and she drifts off to sleep. each night I make sure to ask if she wants me to stay, just in case she changes her mind. so far, she's kept tugging me into the bed, sometimes falling asleep still gripping my shirt.

I don't always fall asleep when she does. I feel like a creep sometimes but I watch her breathe slowly in her sleep, finally seeing her in a relaxed state. thats when she looks exactly how I remember her.

before her staying here, I would scroll on my phone for hours before getting a restless night of sleep. her body radiates warmth, which is weird to think about considering how cold and empty she looks like she feels inside.

the nightmares weren't a surprise in the sense that I assumed they would happen. I feel a little guilty when they do though.

the first night she shot up, her breaths heaving with some strain, sounding like they were scratching at her lungs due to her injuries. I simply turned my head over to look, not wanting to move too much and scare her. we locked eyes as we always do. there's this slight look in her eyes as if she doesn't know who I am for a second, but it passes too quick for me to be able to tell if that's actually what it is. but I think that's a good thing.

the night she texted nick replays in my head regularly. they had to persuade her boyfriend heavily to give him nicks number so they could catch up at some point, him only agreeing probably to shut nick up. she sent a whole paragraph the same night from her boyfriends phone explaining how she was scared for her life and was hoping we could pick her up. she's never been one to ask for anything. at the end of the paragraph she even put "it's okay if you can't help me."

she also said we couldn't respond as she was going to delete the message so he wouldn't find out. per her request, we had to wait for midday to ensure he would be at work and not come back randomly because he forgot anything. it was fucking awful waiting for so long. it was made even worse every time I remembered she felt like that for the whole two years she was with him. she probably felt even worse than that. I can't even imagine everything that's happened to her.

when it comes to me, I tend to lean towards flight as oppose to fight. I struggle a lot find motivation to do anything. ever since I met her I knew the lengths I'd go for her. I always thought about how I'd do anything to keep her safe. but I did a shit job of that.

nick and chris called me pathetic to how I reacted when she disappeared a couple years ago. I think they just felt sorry for me though. I've never been good at making or keeping friends - that was my brothers. but she made it so easy. conversations were easy, being around her was easy and just loving her was easy.

then then one day I parked outside her house, and she didn't come out. everyday for school I picked her up. she was a year below but just walking into the building with her made everything easier. I knocked on the door on the second day. I didn't even care that her fuckass parents that hated me could've answered the door. i needed to check.

her dad did answer it.

"what? no she's not here. fuck off. none of them are."

her sisters had got a plane to the UK, where they were born and grew up until she was about 10 years old. she'd always said how much she wanted to go back, but she'd miss me too much. she made it clear that she wouldn't get up and leave me. then there i was at 18 years old, stood outside her house, getting told by her drunk piece of shit dad that she'd left with her boyfriend. he didn't know where they went. for all I know he did and didn't want to tell me or he just didn't listen because he was too self absorbed to try and pay attention to her.

school got even harder. eating and sleeping got even harder. worse than it all was before her. I had the YouTube career to focus on but it just reminded me of her. because doing YouTube was her idea in the first place. I only tried my best because I wanted to make her proud. which made me feel especially pathetic when I think about how she ran off with some asshole.

I tried everything to find her. I think her phone was broken because nothing would send through. her boyfriend picked up his phone, telling me to go fuck myself each time till about only the 4th phone call which is when he blocked me. her sisters didn't know where she went either. her older sister told me that she tried to convince her to go to the UK to escape their parents all the time but she was adamant about staying for me. she said it was a shock when she woke up to a note telling her she had left, leaving two plane tickets to England for her and her younger sister. they had to leave the same day.

sometimes I'd get really angry at her. but I'd have to force myself not to think about her face, because as soon as I remembered how she looked at me, how she smiled, laughed and sounded I just couldn't bare it. then I just hoped she was happy.

I'm suffocating now in this feeling of guilt. why would she have been happy? she wouldn't leave her sisters and me unless she was forced to. I shouldve known that. I shouldve found her and taken her home. I shouldve done more or at least just done something.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I realise she caught me staring.

I'm leaning against the door frame to the bathroom. she spends a chunk of time each day just looking in the mirror. I'm not really sure why. I can't tell if she feels insecure or what but it's become a part of her routine. she still can't talk, I don't know if she tries to in secret but it doesn't matter too much as we manage to make it work.

she steps a little closer, just staring up at me. I've really missed just being able to see her. I think she's even more beautiful than i remember.

"you okay?" I somehow manage to say without stuttering. she still has the ability to make me as nervous as she did years ago. she must think I'm a fucking moron.

she hesitates but nods. the question itself is probably stupid as if you round everything up, she clearly isn't okay. I hope she knows I'm not trying to mock the fact that she couldn't really be fine after everything that's happened to her, at least not fine yet.

she reaches her hand up slowly, using her index finger to tap on my face, indicating towards my eye.

"I was staring?" she nods at me. "I was just checking on you."

her face doesn't change, still in the same expression as she just shakes her head 'no' at me.

how do I tell her what I'm thinking without sounding pathetic?

"missed you a lot, kid."

I sound fucking stupid and I don't think she likes that answer any better.

she walks around me, heading towards the fridge - the whiteboard

'I'm sorry :(' she writes. God I'm an asshole. something we have in common is how we both constantly blame ourselves for everything. I shouldve known she'd blame herself for leaving me. I hope she knows that i don't blame her.

"hey no it's not your fault. I'm just glad you're here now, alright?" I try and reassure her, though it looks like something else is on her mind now.

she looks down at the board and sniffs. shit, is she crying? I made her fucking cry.

she quickly wipes the board, tears starting to run down her face. rushing to write something new down.

she shows me the board.

what. the. fuck.

next part ->

𐙚🧸ྀི

a/n , I tried to write it a little differently since it's matts internal monologue instead of blue's so yeah but I hope it doesn't sound awful lmao ALSO hope yall don't hate that I made her from the UK ☹️☹️ I couldn't figure out how to word it without naming the place they flew too so I just wrote England :(( if yall hate I can change it lol

let me know what you think !

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ - mi

tags: @pair-of-pantaloons

[bunny-jpeg]

You’re dating Canadian Simon? I’m so jelly even though I’m not a Ghost girlie. Tell me more. How did you guys meet? Sunflowers… so sweet! 🥹💗👍🏻

ah thank you! he's a real sweetheart!

i am a couple of years older than him, but he's almost a foot taller than me (more so when he wears his army boots) - we saw each other a few times before he went on deployment for eight months. which technically hasn't even started yet because he's in training on the east coast of canada till june.

it hasn't been particularly easy for both of us, given that we hadn't been seeing each other for a long period of time prior. during my last visit to see him, he actually wanted to break up with me to save me from the pain of him being gone for at most fourteen months. he thought it wasn't fair that i got roped into it, but during our weekend together we had many conversations (some drunk) about wanting to stay with each other. and he could tell that i was as committed to staying with him through it as he was with me. so he changed his mind. he saw that this wasn't some simple, short fling before he fucked off for a year. i was serious about this and he was serious too.

(more rambling under the cut)

we actually met by accident on an online messaging service before we moved to discord and then eventually to texting! we live roughly in the same part of the country, there is a reliable, cheap train service that takes me from my city to his area and then he has a car to drive from the train station to the smaller down he lives in. during our first date we got all you can eat sushi in the city where the train station is just in case i didn't feel comfortable or safe and wanted to go home asap. (he didn't want to make it feel like i was being kidnapped). we saw a movie together afterwards (venom 3) and sort of made out the entire time. - the movie was really bad.

a couple of times afterwards i've come down to see him and we mostly hang out around his home. the last time i saw him, i got to help him get ready to go to base in his town for paperwork and he told me that he rarely ever speeds but when he was done for the afternoon, he was quick to get into his car to drive home to me.

yeah he's a former football player when he was in school and he's really strong as well. he likes to kind of just pick me up. he's the kind of guy who walks on the outer part of the sidewalk close to the road. he pays for dinners even though i try to fight him to it. he's just kind of a big blond guy who is quite monotone in his speech. but he's gotten better and kind of (as we call it) laying it on thick, which usually means him saying or texting me sweet things because he knows how much i love it (and my reactions are really funny to him).

also the only time he smiles in selfies is when they're sent to me, only to me.

he's coming back to our area of the country in may-ish, so i'm taking a week off of work to go see him so we can make up for lost time. if that doesn't work out, we're splitting the cost for me to fly to base to come visit him for the same amount of time.

it's hard some days because the chaos of being on base can be a lot sometimes and he can't really text me. but he tries really hard to at least get a good morning and i love you in so i don't forget that he loves me and is thinking about it. it's just taking it one step at a time.

his goal is to complete deployment and my goal is to finish my final class of university. so we're both busy guys! - he did also get drunk once and call me about how he wants to marry me before i made him get water and lie down in bed... i think about that sometimes.

(i think for anonymity sake, i'll refer to him as cottontailI)

[arroganceisherfavoritecolor]

I will take ANYTHING with colin and/or rodrick (#I'm desperate i've read everything twice) Sorry if thats vague, but I'm like a garbage disposal and will take anything atp. Thank you if you look at this, have a great day/night!

Something about whats-her-name

"Mr. Heffley, whats got you daydreaming away in my class, hm?" Rodrick snapped back to reality, the brittle voice of his teacher shattering his thoughts about- wait... what was her name again? Oh, that's right, Y/n. Y/n L/n, how could he have already been in his 3rd year of high school and barely notice her? "Oh, sorry, it wont happen again" Rodrick said, like an idiot. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and went back to the lecture. As the teacher was talking, Rodrick went back to thinking of Y/n. Since they had just came back from winter break, Y/n must have moved her schedule around and ended up getting put into his 4th period English class. The seating chart app must have been on Rodrick's side when it was determining the new seating chart for the remainder of the year, because it had placed Y/n one person above him, but still in the row next to his, giving him a perfect view.

She was more than just gorgeous, more than ethereal, more than any word that Rodrick's pea-sized brain could come up with. She wasn't like all the other girls Rodrick had liked in the past, most of them quite prissy and rude. But Y/n? Y/n was cool, stylish and you could tell she was NOT just another brick in the wall. Although she was seen hanging out with Heather and her goons sometimes, you could tell she was nice. Rodrick knew she had an amazing personality, and he wasn't just saying that because he was totally head over heels for her. Every time he saw her from across the campus during lunch, she had that gorgeous smile of hers on her face. When he had asked his friends about Y/n, they had only good things to say about her. After a few weeks, Rodrick decided he HAD to get to know her, so he set up a plan.

Rodrick had came to the conclusion that he was going to throw a party that weekend. Since his parents and youngest brother would be gone, Rodrick felt it was the perfect (and probably only) opportunity to throw a sick ass party and impress the girl of his dreams. He sent out a group text in his schools group chat, which soon got screenshotted and posted on various social networking's. Most of the time, Rodrick didn't give a damn about what his peers thought of him. He had gone through all 11 years of school being seen as a dorky, emo weirdo. But now that Y/n was in the picture, Rodrick gave every damn and a bag of chips. He knew this kickback of his had to be off the hook, it was really his only chance to get Y/n to fall for him.. because y'know, he cant just go up to her and ask for her number or something... boy logic.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The Heffley household was PACKED. Teenagers coming in like ants marching. 30 minutes after the party started, Rodrick chose to stop answering the door, and just leave it wide open. People were drunk, some partying it up inside the house, and others passed out in the yard. As he surfed through seas of people, Rodrick made his way to the backyard. There, he saw Y/n sitting on the porch, alone. He opened the sliding glass door, feeling the fresh air on his skin. Y/n turned around, eyes widened. They soon softened when she saw Rodrick. He stood there, looking down at Y/n. She smiled, scooting over to make some room for Rodrick. He smiled, sitting down next to her. Finally, he broke the silence. "So... am I interrupting something? Or are you only out here 'cus my party's lame?" Y/n smiled, Rodrick swore he could feel his pupils dilate. "Nah, of course not. It just really stuffy in there, needed a breath of fresh air." She broke eye contact with him, looking down at her drink. Rodrick saw it wasn't even beer, it was Coke. As he continued to stare at her, Rodrick realized that Y/n is even prettier up close. She turned her head to look at him, which made Rodrick snap out of his trance. "Is there something wrong?" Asked Y/n, her head cocked to the side. What kind of question was that? Of course there was something wrong. Rodrick is sitting outside with the girl hes been damn near stalking, ALONE, and he probably creeped her out because he can't keep his eyes off of her for two seconds. "No, nothing wrong. You're just.." Rodrick couldn't find it in himself to spit out what he so badly wanted to say. "I'm just what?" Y/n's eyebrows were furrowed, a confused expression on her face. "You're so beautiful" Oh shit. It just slipped out, he didn't even mean to say it. Her eyes were wide, her once confused face now turned surprised. "Oh- oh my god. I'm.. i-i'm so sorry Y/n i ju-" Rodrick's stammering of nonsense was cut off by Y/n's soft lips kissing his. Her hands found his face and thumbs gently began to stroke his cheek. Y/n pulled away, a sweet smile on her face. Rodrick's mouth was hanging open, speechless from what had just happened. "Whoa, okay uh, alright." Rodrick said, which made Y/n giggle, eyes scrunching up and sparkling. "I don't wanna sound conceited, but I know everything Rodrick. I can feel you staring at me during 4th period, I notice how you purposely walk by my table during lunch, I even see all the profile views you leave on my socials." With every word that came out of your mouth, Rodrick could feel his face getting warmer and warmer. "O-oh my god Y/n, I'm sorry." He covered his face with his hands, trying to hide the blush. You laughed and softly grasped his wrists, uncovering his cute face. Y/n looked into Rodrick's eyes, deep and dark and desperate looking. "I don't mind at all, Rodrick." She said, eyes switching from looking at his eyes to his lips. "Why didn't you ever talk to me sooner, Rodrick?" Oh lord, hearing his name coming from your voice sounded like music to his ears. "Well I mean, you're just so... I cant even think of a word. I guess I've just been intimidated by you, I didn't know how to approach you." Y/n's eyebrows raised. "Oh, is it because i'm just sooo scary and discouraging, that it took you 6 months to have a conversation with me?" Rodrick laughed, feeling the tension wearing off. "Well, I guess you cant be THAT scary since you just ate my face" Y/n rolled her eyes, gently slapping his arm. "Seriously though, I really like you Y/n, I know i'm a wuss for not talking to you sooner." Y/n smiled at him as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Kiss me again, Rodrick."

And so he did.

A/N: THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK GUYS! Lowkey rushed bc school stuff lol (i'm dying inside) PLEASEEE request more stuff!! thank u so much for requesting @my-sibling-wears-a-muumuu !!

[allofmytoxicity]

hey, I saw that your requests were open and I wanted to ask if you could write a comfort fic with tony dinozzo.

I am a person who doesn't make friends easily nor do I fit in social situations easily. When I am out with friends and other people my age, i find it diffcult to fit in, I feel like I don't belong. So using this as an outline, could you write something where the reader went to an afterparty for an event her company hosted and she felt left out and that she didn't belong there and tony comforts her.

Hope this isn't too long or stumps your creativity. I just needed some comfort after the week i've had.

What was I made for?

a/n: okay, no. 1, sorry I pretty much dropped off the face of the earth for months (life is hard, okay!?), no. 2, when I got this ask in, I felt seen. Yes, people may see me on here, think I have it all put together. I don't. And many people like me don't. This piece of writing sparked the creativity I needed just now and getting this ask felt healing after the year I've had, because to cut a long story short, there has been a lot of crying because I didn't fit in. no. 3, I looked at your profile, I am also a McLaren and Ferrari girlie (sadly not max) but, if you want to send me a message after COTA that would be fine! Anyway, enjoy!

Summary: At a work after party you find yourself questioning why you're there until a certain NCIS agent comes along.

Word Count: 1.4k

TW: shit coworkers along with some tooth-rotting Tony comfort fluff while I anxiously sit and wait for formula 1 results.

Why on earth did you think this was a good idea?

Why? Just why?

Your work had decided to put on an event launching something you'd been working on, with an afterparty at the office later on in the night, and even though it was an optional thing, you'd still decided to come.

But even with the hustle and bustle though of the evening, you were stood in a corner, questioning why you'd even come tonight, because there you were, standing in a cinnamon coloured halter-neck dress with a lemonade in your hands beside a plant pot you'd bought years ago for the office.

This plant pot, like your current self, had gone unnoticed by everyone and was left to wither in the background as everyone got on with their lives.

It wasn't even as if it wasn't the norm for people to bring things in to brighten up the dull grey scale office walls, bar the slight accents of burnt orange on things like the company logo on the walls. Around the same time you'd brought in the plant, Anne-Marie round in marketing had brought in a painting that she had hung just outside her office and ever since she'd been complimented on it, whereas your plant? People acted as if it had always been there, but never watering it.

That's what it was normally like for you. There, but never seen, haunting the halls as everyone worked, your existence ghost-like to everyone around you.

It was what made it all worse. You had no work friends, no acknowledgement, not even regular emails because you were just missed out on projects. Sometimes you did literally think about working from home, but that, of course, would be the one time when someone actually needed you.

Taking a sip of the lemonade you were holding, you double tapped your phone as a notification ping came through, the bright light from the sudden action making you squint, before you gazed down at the notifications from your husband, very special agent Tony Dinozzo.

The string of messages that had been sent through, that as you read them, sound like Tony was just texting what had first come into his head. It ranged from texts like 'Sorry I missed dinner, Gibb's has got us working on a stupid case' to 'Are you okay!? The house is empty and I expected you to be home!' to finally 'oh wait you're at that work thing aren't you?' which were all sent in the space of a couple of hours.

Through the regret of turning up tonight as well as the feeling of not belonging, you smiled and breathed out a laugh at the array of emotions playing through the texts.

After a few seconds and quick typing you shot back a reply, 'I'm at the work thing, but I'll be home soon. Not exactly feeling like I belong here.'

The next notification ping about a minute later was Tony's reply, him clearly having just typed it up, 'Good job I was coming to get you anyway, huh?'

You actually, properly, laugh for the first time that night send back just a love heart before moving away from the withering plant in the corner, but not before you donate the last of your lemonade to it first.

After that, you walk towards your desk, just a couple of metres away from the potted plant, but beside where a few of your coworkers were talking, as well as where you'd hidden your coat and bag, grabbing those along with your laptop just to catch up on any emails, or even resign like Tony had been telling you to do for years.

Making your way back through the crowded sixth floor of your office building and making it to the elevator, hitting the green G and let the doors close, slipping your laptop into your bag while they do so.

Quickly putting you bag down on the ground after, you stick on your coat as the elevator moves, not wanting the cold October air to catch you out with a cold as you wait for Tony, so you make sure to fully zip it up as you pick up your bag just as the doors open.

Walking briskly out of the building, you spot Tony standing outside of his car, his scarf and gloves on with his hair perfectly gelled, and begin to rush towards him.

You had walked to the launch party part of the night as it was only a couple of blocks from your apartment before the walk to the office building which you were all taken to by car, so at least your feet weren't too sore, but you were sure not to wear heels tonight jut in case Tony got off work really late.

As you get closer, you smile and Tony reflects it back and it isn't long before you're crashing into his arms, letting a relaxed sigh out into his neck.

"Hey." Tony says quietly, letting you go and kissing you in the middle of the dark car park.

"Hi," you respond, looking him in the eyes. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Tired, but good." Tony replies, looking at you with a smile.

"Why don't we go home?" You ask and Tony nods, opening the right-hand-side car door to let you in before running around to the other side for him to get in the car.

Reversing back and getting on the road, Tony multitasks and takes his gloves off as well, sticking them in his lap before putting a hand on your thigh, not wanting to freeze your leg to death in the short drive.

"How did it go?" Tony asked after a short while, not taking his eyes off the road, but clearly listening.

"Okay. I nearly didn't go tonight. Probably shouldn't've" You reply, looking towards Tony with your head against the leather headrest.

"Why?" Tony continues, flicking his mind away from driving for one second to look at you.

"You know, you've seen the messages. I... I never fit in and I'm always forgotten." You whisper, tears starting to brim against you eyes.

As Tony turns into your street and parks up, he turns in his seat to look at you, before asking one very important question.

"Why do you not just quit?"

You left out alight scoff, letting a few tears fall before you give Tony a reply.

"Because, I don't know what I'd do. It seems all I was made for is to work there and be a pencil pusher. I have no other goals in life. I was left by my childhood friends, I have a useless degree and my coworkers ignore me." You say sniffling, letting more tears fall as you play with the rings that the very special senior agent gave to you all those years ago.

Tony sighs and looks at you before taking your left hand and holding it, rubbing his thumb against the back of it, brushing by the gold bands encompassing your ring finger.

You both sit there in silence for a moment before Tony clears his throat and looks directly at you.

"Quit and I'll get you a job." Tony nearly whispers and your head shoots up from where it originally was facing in your lap.

"What?" You ask, almost in disbelief at what he was saying.

"Quit and I'll get you a job. NCIS will have to have somewhere you can work, and put your degree to use. The team loves you, even Gibbs- which I still don't get- but anyway, you'd have somewhere where people love and respect you." Tony rambles while you start to feel hot tears of pure joy at the fact he was sitting there, telling you that he would work his butt off to find you somewhere where you could be you and be happy.

"You're really doing this? You really want to work with me?" You ask, using your free right hand to wipe your eyes.

"Honey, I think there's a reason those rings are on your hand," Tony says and you laugh. "Yes, I want to work with you, and to be fair, so does Abby. She's been begging me to do this for months."

You giggle at the sentiment and as Tony releases your hand, you both get out of the car and start walking up to your apartment, hand-in-hand, you have a soft smile on your face, knowing that even if you were forgotten by everybody else, there was at least someone fighting in your corner.

Even if they could be a little shit sometimes because they've eaten all the brownies you'd baked the day before.

a/n: there you go! I really hope you feel better after this (also, sorry it took so long to write this). This was really actually therapeutic for me, so I'm glad I wrote this.

requests are open!

[inklore]

after a year and a handful of months of debating on if i should, or wanted to, do commissions (and with some convincing and hyping from friends) i've decided why the heck not!

so to everyone whose ever complimented me and hyped me up for my themes and graphics thank you and you're definitely another driving force in this decision.

making graphics is therapeutic to me and i take a lot of pride and joy in doing it, from seeing everyone loving the things i create. and i want to share that pride and joy even more, sooo if you've ever struggled with making a good theme, feel too lazy to make one, need a banner for a fic or masterlist, a header, or just need someone to help your graphic vision come together; i'm here to provide!

before you commission something, or just want some examples, please check out my past work and portfolio!

PORTFOLIO | PINTEREST | ART TAG | GIFS

PLEASE THOROUGHLY READ THROUGH THE RULES!!!!

✶ all payments will be made through kofi or fiverr depending on what you're commissioning. if you'd rather go through paypal that is also a valid option just message me.

when it comes to commissioning anything details matter!!! i need complete details of what you want to be created. i will not accept something like 'floral vibe' or 'something with browns'. that gives me nothing. i need a vision, i need as much information as possible, examples (but do not take them from other creators please i will decline your commission), you can take inspo or examples from my own themes, or go through my pin board. the more details the better. the greater i can make your vision come into view. this is important!!!

i will not use other peoples art. do not ask for it to be included in whatever project i am creating. everything i make is for personal use only.

you will get two redos for me to change something you don't like about the theme. a preview of the finished product will be sent your way and you can ask for something to be completely re-done, but after that no changes will be made.

please include your user or where you want me to send your graphics within your request.

there's not a time span in which you have to use the theme or graphic for, but a week would be complimentary.

you can commission as many times as you wish after i've finished the first one.

for my own personal reasons minors are not allowed to commission things.

we do not have to be mutuals, nor do you have to be following me to commission something.

you don't have to outwardly give me credit but please do not claim my creations as your own.

if you have any questions before commissioning something my messages are always open and there is never a dumb question. please feel free to ask!

✶ fandoms i will not accept commissions for: anime, supernatural, our flags mean death, good omens (because i am not in them nor have enough knowledge on how to make the vision really suit said fandoms).

a full theme includes: a navigation banner and a header.

when commissioning a theme there are a few things that need to be mentioned and answered, so please include them in your request!

what kind of navi banner do you want? (refer to my portfolio for this, or if you just want something simplistic, big, small, medium, extra, messy, chaotic, etc)

what vibe are you going for? (dark academia, greek myth, ocean, dainty, horror, etc)

colors? (a must ok i need to know, if you give me none then i'm going to do whatever and choose what i think looks best and that's also fine if you want me to have complete creative liberties)

whats your overall vision? (can be included in the vibes section but giving me more detail is better)

text. (what do you want included on it, words, titles, information, quotes, etc)

examples. (like i mentioned in the rules examples are encouraged but do not take them from other creators on here and i will not copy, or make them look like someone else's work)

what kind of header do you want? (a simple png that goes along with the navi colors and vibe, a whole other banner-esk graphic, none, etc)

✶ see the add ons section below if you want more things included in your theme.

now these add ons are only for themes. if you commission a header only, or gif, they will have their own add on options.

$1 - for dividers that match your theme in color and vibe (if you want symbol, graphic, or anything that's not color then the price goes up a dollar)

$1 - three+ icon options (want the perfect icon to fit your theme and don't want to do the searching yourself? i got you)

$2 - content warning + minor dni banners (i'll make theme specifically to match your theme, with your user, and whatever you want them to say or look like etc)

$3 - layout + navi formatting (aka i'll come up with a completely new layout format for your navigation post + your bio)

$4 - a gif header or a gif included within the navi graphic (this is the highest price because finding clips, extracting scenes into caps, making the gif, coloring it to match the theme, blending, etc, is a lot lol)

a header commission includes: only a header. it is not a theme, just a mobile header, or a header for a masterlist, or fic.

the information needed for this commission are as listed below.

what kind of header do you want? (aka what is it for. this is important because the look is dependent on this information)

colors, vibes, vision. (more detail the better)

text. (if you want text on it, what do you want it to say, so title, etc)

examples. (not needed but a plus)

gif commissions include: gifs for your fics or masterlists. not for themes or headers.

depending on how you want these little moving pictures to look you gotta give some details.

fandom, character, scenes. (don't just say 'any scene' unless you truly want me to choose whatever scene lmao)

how many? (the current cut off is six, if you want more then there's an add on)

coloring. (you can completely leave this up to me but if you want them to be a certain color then please let me know, i'll also check with you before making all of them to make sure you like the coloring)

text. (want them to say anything? a title? subtitles? dialogue from your fic? your username on them? etc)

add on: blends. (want two characters or actors from different angles, scenes, or fandoms in the same gif? i got you)

add on: textures. (if you want added details such as a texture on the gifs then this will be extra, but i need to know what kind of texture / details you want added)

fic commissions: are only done through fiverr or paypal. if you are interested in commissioning a fic or any kind of writing then please refer to my fiverr and inquire over there or message me on here. thank you!!

✶REMEMBER TO MESSAGE ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE BEFORE COMMISSIONING, NO MATTER THE TIME OR SUBJECT, I ENCOURAGE IT!

contact info: on tumblr, or discord: toldbylaur.

where to commission: kofi or pm me!