#i am feeding you guys so well rn

[sapphothetical]

‘Two Women Kissing in Nature,’ an illustration from ‘Le Poison Des Pierreries’ by Georges-Antoine Rochegrosse, 1903

[skitskatdacat63]

Timeswap!Vettonso(I blame @ayceeofspades for this)

Thoughts:

References HEHEHEHE:

So the dynamics would be: STR!Seb x Aston!Fernando and Post-Retirement!Seb x Ferarri!Fernando(~2011-2012)

The former would be a Seb who is very hungry for Fernando's attention, but now he's with a Fernando is actually now very willing to give him that attention. Fernando is constantly repeating in his head: "Don't fuck the twink don't fuck the twink don't fuck the twink", but every time they end up on the podium together, Seb always ends up being all over him and "accidentally" groping him. So Seb is still a brat but is with a Fernando who's not gonna just be cold to him but will indulge him instead 🤭

The latter is more angsty AAAHHH!! Cause its a Fernando who is in Ferrari hell and Seb who is post-catharsis. And to quote C, Fernando is like "why are you so happy??? Did you win!?" and Seb responds: "no :)" But also I am not immune to Seb being coy and playing with Fernando. He now understands why Fernando was the way he was back then because he's now gone through the same thing with Ferrari, but also wants him to stop being so gloomy and angsty about it.

Don't ask about how these AUs work, just know that they have knowledge of what their original counterparts were like so it's weird for the younger versions to get to see what ends up happening to the other, and then allows the olders to gain a new perspective instead of their biased memories(i.e.: "you're not who I was villainizing you as in my head" = both of them realize that they were building the other up as such an antagonist in their head but then, oh, he's just like me fr)(but for younger Seb, Fernando realizes Seb just wanted to be friends :( and so now he's trying to be more of a mentor.)

[itsalwaysdark]

aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .

[theonottsbxtch]

Can we get part 2 of secret sister by any chance? loved it

Secret Sister Part Two | OP81

a/n: i need you to know that i sat in my bed giggling and kicking my feet when i saw this and i’m currently sat in the airport at 6:35 am giggling writing this 🤍

fc: sophia birlem & pinterest photos

requests: open

ynnorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourbestfriend, mclaren and 1826 others

hungry for hungary 🦁

*tap to load comments*

yourbestfriend: that caption gave me the ick

ynnorris: you love me

yourbestfriend: i really don’t know why i do

userone: shes going to watch the gp!!!

usertwo: begging for cute oscar photos

userthree: look at her watching quali 🥹

logansargeant: first gp?

ynnorris: yessir

logansargeant: enjoy!

userfour: why is oscar holding her upside down?

oscarpiastri: dragging her away from build a bear

ynnorris: you and i are not friends anymore

landonorris: there is NO way i just found out you’re coming to the gp VIA INSTAGRAM

whatsapp

f1wags

liked by userone, usertwo, userthree and 9,782 more

new spotting in the paddock! lando norris’ newly revealed sister and oscar’s girlfriend👀? lando introduced his sister to the world on her 21st over 8 months ago for safety and privacy reasons. her and her brother’s teammate hit it off quite quickly after that, making his first move in norris’ comment section. the two of them keep their relationship as private as they can but we can’t deny that when they do feed us the crumbs, we love all of it. according to yn, this is her first ever gp. can’t wait to see oscar and her together!

*tap to load more comments*

userone: has anyone checked in on lando?

yourbestfriend: he’s throwing up in the toilet rn

usertwo: it’s nine months of their relationship in a week plz😭

yourbestfriend: he still complains

userthree: ahhh cant wait to see her!

userfour: hopefully i meet her 🙂

userfive: the IT couple

ynnorris

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 8,462 more

so so proud of my boys <3

*tap to load more comments*

oscarpiastri: love you 🤍🧡

userone: someone tell her she’s gotta pick a side

usertwo: mclaren did lando so dirty

userthree: guys she can support both her brother and boyfriend

userfour: dickrider

landonorris: love you lil sis x

userfive: how can you post this knowing mclaren stole a win off your brother and gave it to your boyfriend

*comments have been disabled*

oscarpiastri

liked by ynnorris, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 16,837 others

my first f1 win, couldn’t have done it without a lot of people but my pr manager said i had to keep this short and sweet

*tap to load more comments*

ynnorris: congratulations my love 🤍🧡

landonorris: congrats mate!

userone: you were done so dirty oscar

usertwo: lando deserved that win

userthree: fuck mclaren

maxverstappen1: well deserved!

userfour: lol

*comments have been disabled*

landonorris

liked by ynnorris, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 19,268 more

well deserved win for osc, spa next 🔜

*comments have been disabled*

phone call between lando and yn

l: yn? are you okay it’s 3am?

y: lando i’m scared

l: what’s wrong? are you in your hotel room?

y: i’m in oscar’s but i don’t want to wake him up, i’m in the bathroom

l: what’s wrong?

y: i keep recieving really mean messages and even some death threats, i should have listened to you and not made my account public i’m so sorry for not listening to you lan-

l: yn it’s okay, it’s not your fault, unfortunately this is what comes with this sport.

y: i’m scared

l: listen i want you to wake up oscar and tell him how you’re feeling right now. he’ll be able to comfort you right now, tomorrow morning we’ll speak to our pr and see what they say but try and get some sleep, wipe your tears and wake osc up okay?

y: i’m so sorry

l: you didn’t do anything wrong, i’m sorry you’re feeling the brunt of our stuff.

y: love you lan

l: love you ynn

oscar’s hotel room 3:17am

Picking herself up off the floor, yn glanced at her reflection in the dimly lit mirror. She wiped away the tears that had been streaming down her cheeks, wincing slightly at the redness that had set in. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself, and attempted to make her face look presentable. With a final sigh, she opened the bathroom door and stepped into the dark bedroom. Her eyes softened as she took in the sight of Oscar, lying peacefully in bed, his face serene and calm.

Despite the turmoil inside her, she couldn't help but smile at how adorable he looked, lost in his dreams. Pushing her guilt and insecurities aside, she made her way over to his side of the bed. Gently, she reached out and tapped his shoulder. "Osc."

Oscar stirred slightly, his eyes remaining closed. "Yeah?" he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. "You okay?"

Yn hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to begin. "I..." she faltered, then continued, "No, not really." Oscar opened his eyes just a fraction, enough for her to see the concern etched in his sleepy gaze. "I saw what people were saying about me online, and—"

Before she could finish, Oscar reached out and pulled her into the bed beside him. She sat at the edge, struggling to hold back more tears as he gently took her hand, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. He let out a soft, disappointed sigh. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"It's not your fault," she replied, shaking her head.

"And it's yours?" he countered gently. The way he said it made her realise how misplaced her thoughts had been. "Come here." He pulled her into his arms, and she nestled against him, feeling the warmth and safety of his embrace. Oscar held her tightly, as if trying to shield her from the cruel world outside.

"They were really mean," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"I know," Oscar murmured, his breath warm against her bare shoulder. "Unfortunately, it's something we drivers get used to, but it's always rough for someone new to the world of F1."

She let out a small, breathy laugh. "Talk about being new to the world, quite literally." A faint smile tugged at her lips. "Lando said he’d talk to his team tomorrow."

"We'll talk to the team tomorrow," Oscar corrected softly. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into her eyes. "Hey, how about you tell me about your new project? You haven't mentioned it yet." His tone was gentle, encouraging, as if trying to distract her from her worries.

Yn looked at him, her heart swelling with love. The tears that had threatened to spill moments ago were now replaced by a shy, bashful smile. "Have I ever told you I love you?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Oscar's eyes sparkled with affection. "Once or twice, I'm sure, but definitely not enough."

A warm, contented feeling settled over her. "I love you, Osc."

He smiled, leaning in to kiss her forehead tenderly. "I love you too, more than anything." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and added, "No matter what anyone says, you are amazing, and I'm so proud of you."

ynnorris

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 8,172 others

this past weekend was tough on both mclaren drivers, decisons were made and oscar and lando are both excellent and talented drivers. lando is my brother and oscar is my boyfriend and best friend, there will never be a day where i chose between the two of them when they’re on a podium. i love them both so deeply and i will never pick a favourite.

*comments have been disabled*

oscarpiastri

liked by ynnorris, landonorris, logansargeant and 19,632 others

spa next weekend and summer break with this one

*only some users may comment*

landonorris: good riddance, she’s driving me up the wall

yourbestfriend: why are you always carrying her like that?

oscarpiastri: she can’t be trusted with money

ynnorris: love you 🤍🧡

[thatbitchery]

The way to stand on business is to have hard rock values and hobbies. A lot of you suffer because you're pathetic little chameleons that learned to survive their childhood by blending in and masking (I'm looking STRAIGHT at the autistics and daughters of strict dads right now. 100% straight shots being taken) and have nothing to stand on PLUS you just- don't have a life. Of course you tolerate bs you have nothing to do all day. Some of us have jobs and horses to ride and paintings to make where will I get the time to be taking BS hun I have work to do? Bark at the void or something. You have all the time in the world so you are accessible enough for people to know they can simply just- cancel plans and your spineless wet tissue ass back will give in. If you are always available why would anyone prioritize you? Get a job and hobby so you also cancel plans and make them earn you like a woman with a working mind. Get busy.

Back to the main point- you can't stand on business because yu are nothing and have nothing to stand on. I'm not trying to degrade you- mind you- its just I kinda have no choice but to look down on you when you are on the floor. What am I even on rn?

Well. The first sign someone grew up middle class is lack of a spine and intense masking. The one thing the lower class and upper class have in common is the inability to give a fack. Lower class because they have nothing to lose & upper class because they are, in fact, better than you. In a capitalist society money is a marker of status = position don't even attempt moral police me. Elon Musk can say whatever bc wtf will you do? Tweet about it? The homeless will say whatever they want, too, because what will you do? Cancel him and make him lose the job he doesn't even have? What is the worst you can do and what makes you think he won't survive it. It's the middle class that's the breeding ground for snakes because they have a shit ton to lose and do not have enough resources to avoid the consequences of it. All the doormats and snakes and chameleons and wet tissues and untrustables are in the taxpaying bracket.

The first sign someone is elite is their level of idgafness. Not fur. Not that black American express. Not Patek Phillipe. IDGAFness. The princess and the pea absolute queen princess downright refusing to sleep on a bed with a pea is elitism. On tiktok they call it black cat energy. My way or no way. The way men know what to do with you isn't how much Chanel you're dripping in is how much you will not only not take bs but how willing you are to start sheet if you need to. Conflict avoidance is middle class behavior. I know this drop dead gorgeous reeeech man that's pining for the most average a little overweight by western standards (which are world's beauty standard, don't gaslight yourself) probably a solid 3 on a good day because the left him mid date after he said something she didn't like, blocked him on all platforms and went on another date with some other guy a week later. I have seen the women that chase after him but she's the prize. Doesn't give one single F. Last I heard he booked a helicopter and she just- didn't go. Tried the guilt tripping got blocked. Tried the talking sheet and she just- moved on and made him look like an idiot. When I say the man is piniiiiiiiiiiiing like there aren't magazine cover models that would throw it back in every angle. She is the elite one here because she just doesn't care. She stands on business. Queen behavior. 10/10, I'm also very in love with her and have officially joined the competition.

You can't be elite not because you're broke and ugly but because you can't stand on business because you don't have business to stand on. A lot of you just- aren't anyone so you become everyone. Chameleon behavior. Because you are afraid of conflict. A cat scratching you knowing full well you are what feeds it is elitism. Cookie Lyon (EMPIRE) is elitism. The I will burn this building down if i need to is elitism. And I don't mean randomly picking up fights 24/7 that's being ratchet, elite women are polite and well mannered. I mean standing on business. I mean sending the order back when it's not what you ordered. I mean just not paying your stylist when they don't do what you asked. I mean stating- clearly- where your boundaries are and not taking a single step back. I mean when a man tries isht with you downright calling them out on it loudly instead of trying to hash it down or laughing your way out of it. I mean not trying to buy approval by self sacrifice. I mean letting that one coworker know actually no I will not be doing that because it's your job not mine. I mean not answering any work related calls on your day off. I mean taking all your paid leaves. I mean shaming back the people that shame you as loudly as they are trying to shame you- probably more. I mean crossing every line the second one of yours is crossed. elitism. Standing on business. Boundaries. Whis is where you end and I begin, you cross this I cross you.

[csainzoperator]

yummy: LN4 ☆

summary: y/n is a chef in the mclaren hospitality who is famous for her fabulous recipies. everyone is head over heels for her recipies, and a certain someone is most definitely more than head over heels. but not just for the food.

(lando norris x fem!reader)

read more under the cut!

itsmey/n has posted!

another day at work! for the british gp, their special "sticky toffee pudding" was a success :)

tagged: landonorris and oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton and 76,123 others.

landonorris it was so yum (she fed us the so called desert forcefully after giving us a 4 course meal)

- oscarpiastri you're such an ungrateful brat. it was great, bestie itsmey/n

- itsmey/n thank you pastry, and lando...i might leave you to starve to death.

lewishamilton i would kill for a pudding rn! you should drop by merc hospitality y/n!

- mclaren look at you trying to steal our goddamn chef....

f1wagsss oh my god you're so pretty

landonorris has posted!

P2 AT HOME RACE BABY!! so proud of the team to be finishing at P2 and P4. also special thanks to y/n for feeding us well :)

tagged: oscar piastri and itsmey/n

liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55, itsmey/n and 872,182,283 others.

landonorizz are we gonn ignore the fact that y/n just made it to a lando post???

lechaaair OH Y/N FEEDS US TOO. SHE SERVES ALL THE DAMN TIME. MOTHER 🙏🏼🙏🏼

itsmey/n its literally my job tho...?

- oscarpiastri some people are bad at their job. he's appreciating you for being good. (lando you fr have no rizz man)

carlaando lando are you trynna make a move GN

- landonowinss BROS PROBABLY REGRETTING RN 💀

(time skip!)

it was the hungarian gp. you were in the mclaren hospitality. the mclaren kitchen was quite big, and your co-workers were extremely sweet. you mainly cooked for the drivers and mechanics, while guiding the others. you were tasting a dish when you feel a presence behind you. you immediately recognise who it is.

"what is it now, lando?" you ask with a knowing smile on your face. he sits down on the counter beside you and watches you as you work. "i was wondering if you would like to, maybe, just maybe, come outside with me and sit down and talk and get some food you know?" he blabbers

"are you asking me out on a date?" you tease him. "well, yeah. only if you want it to be. its okay if you say no" he says with a sad smile on his face. you cup his face with one of your hands and give his cheeks a squeeze. "ofcourse i'll come, dumbass. now shoo, let me work. you're too distracting"

the smug smile he has on his face makes you blush. "so i am distracting huh? what else am i? you can give me details when we go on that date" he winks at you and walks off. you just simply shake your head in amusement.

the date goes well. to be honest, more than well. you both have the most fun ever. lando is everything that you craved. he was the sweetest boy. day by day, meal by meal, both of you started talking more, discovering each other. one fine night, in his apartment in london, where you taught him how to bake his favourite cake, he surprises you by asking you to be his girlfriend. you say yes without hesitation. you knew he wasn't going to play around with your heart.

it was the brazilian gp. lando had placed P2 again! you were the proudest girlfriend to exist, and the happiest. you were just so incredibly proud as he was doing so good this year.

itsmey/n has posted!

brazil you were brilliiianttt <3 liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, landonorris and 92,233 others.

f1wags HOLD UP. SOFT LAUNCHING????

oscarpiastri yuck i hate being around the hospitality now.

landonorris 🌟

- carlandodod PLS IM NOT OK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

- leclercvc oh. my. god. guys. i think its lando and y/n.

f1gosssip apparently some people saw looking for his "girlfriend" after the race, and some people even saw him kissing a girl in the mclaren garage! we hope its y/n 😫

y/nfannn MOTHER WHO IS THAT

landonorris has posted!

brazil with bae. thank you team for making the P2 happen! more to come.

p.s i don't believe in soft launches. she let me hard launch after 8 races 🖐🏼

tagged: itsmey/n and mclaren

liked by mclaren, itsmey/n, charles_leclerc and 827,123,12 others.

oscarpiastri GAG

carlandooo MAMA Y PAPA

carlossainz55 finally mate! congrats :)

maxverstappen1 lando isn't a kid anymore

f1wags OFFICIALLY OUR FAV WAG (with lily obv)

itsmey/n i love you, baby! super proud <3

- landonorris i love YOU. so much. so much.

paddockclubb 8 RACES?? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON OMG

the end ♡

[tinycoffeeroom]

end of beginning | carlos sainz

face claim: none ᡣ𐭩

requests: here !

tags: angst, break up (rebeccarlos ily pls this is just for the story)

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

september 2023

👤 carlossainz, charles_leclerc liked by carlossainz, chares_leclerc and 70,385 others

y/nstagram boyfie won another race but looking at the second pic, i may be the real winner ❤️

carlossainz princesa, contigo a mi lado, siempre soy el ganador (princess, with you by my side, i'll always be a winner) ↳ y/nstagram stop you'll make me blush 🤭

charles_leclerc stop being gross and in love on my feed ↳ y/nstagram carlossainz should we kiss in front of him again xx ↳ carlossainz sin duda ❤️ (definitely) ↳ charles_leclerc i hate it here

user1 i want to be y/n when i grow up (i am 2 years older than her) ↳ y/nstagram then it should be i wanna be user1 when i grow up 😘 also where is your top from in your pfp, i love it!! ↳ user1 ??? im in love with you ??? it's from this little boutique near my house! i can send you one!!! ↳ y/nstagram omg i will send you the money!! 🫶

user2 this is why we stan y/n, a true girls girl ❤️ ♥️ y/nstagram

francisca.cgomes even the back of you is gorgeous ↳ y/nstagram kiss me. ↳ francisca.cgomes come here 😘 ↳ pierregasly i miss when my girlfriend was only My girlfriend ↳ y/nstagram not my fault she upgraded x ↳ pierregasly i will take carlos out on the first corner don't try me ↳ carlossainz you'll have to catch me first hombre

january 2024

liked by kellypiquet, francisca.cgomes and 39,495 others

y/nstagram bed rotting but make it 🎀 aesthetic 🎀

user1 she still watches f1 y/nsainzers there's hope ↳ user2 she hasn't been to a race in months :((( hope is dwindling

user3 the bear i'm gonna scream, cry AND throw up ↳ user4 what's the significance of the bear?? i'm new to f1 :) ↳ user3 carlos got y/n the bear when he joined f1 so she would have something to remember him by when he went away on race weekends ↳ user4 and she still has it?? it must have been like 10 years ago?? ↳ user3 roughly around that!! 2015 if i'm correct...

kellypiquet i see the red bull on your screen 😉 would love to have you back with me in the paddock, P misses her bestie ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram P saw me last week when i spoilt her rotten in the mall but i may take you up on that offer ❤️

user2 y/n in the red bull garages??? y/nsainzers i fear we've lost her... ↳ user1 carlos may be moving to red bull don't give up hope best friend!

march 2024

liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari and 924,495 others

carlossainz P1 in Australia :) thank you for the well wishes guys, maybe my appendix was what was holding me back 😉🎉

landonorris booking the surgery rn ↳ carlossainz you still wouldn't win muppet ↳ landonorris wow carlos... low blow

user1 the last pic... pls say it's y/n PLEASEEEEEEEEEE acc on my knees rn ↳ user2 i'm down there with you best friend

iamrebeccad congrats mister!! next up: the world championship ♥️ carlossainz

user3 ^^ um guys ↳ user2 don't ↳ user1 don't.

charles_leclerc i'll get you next time... ↳ carlossainz ok charlie, i believe you

scuderiaferrari forza carlos! congrats on P1, not even surgery could keep you down 💪 ↳ user5 you bitches don't deserve to celebrate

maxverstappen1 strong fight there mr sainz! looking forward to japan where i'll be back on top! ↳ carlossainz fuck you This comment has been deleted

user3 UM GUYS??????? ↳ user2 do not look at f1wagupdates i'm being so serious ↳ user1 well now i have to FUCK

liked by user8, user9 and 93,283 others

f1wagupdates Carlos Sainz seen kissing Scottish model Rebecca Donaldson following his Australia GP win. He was previously linked to long time girlfriend Y/N L/N but the pair haven't been seen together since December last year. We guess this marks the end of their decade long relationship.

user2 carlos sainz i'm in your walls.

user1 man, fuck carlos sainz

user3 3 months ?? if that ?? glad his appendix burst ↳ user2 reports (twitter) are saying R + C were first seen together in January... ↳ user3 the c*rlos s*inz voodoo doll is being made as we speak.

user4 all men do is lie. what happened to "until the end of time"... i don't believe in love anymore

user5 i feel so bad for rebecca, y/n's so loved by the paddock and the fans ↳ user3 obvs no hate to rebecca, she's gorgeous and i'm sure she's lovely, this is solely carlos hate ♥️ user1, user2 and 19,349 others

user6 bro fumbled the bag with y/n man

👤 kellypiquet, maxverstappen1, landonorris, redbullracing liked by landonorris, kellypiquet and 58,395 others

y/nstagram different point of view 💙

redbullracing pleasure to have you back in the paddock y/n! see you in japan? 👀 ↳ y/nstagram i'll be there best friends (pls stock up on coconut red bulls) 🫶 ↳ redbullracing 🫡

kellypiquet the last pic?? i love you so much?? ↳ y/nstagram y'all are so cute i couldn't stop myself 🤭

maxverstappen1 thanks for coming y/n! i've missed seeing you around ↳ y/nstagram missed you too maxie! P says she wants me to come to every race so you may be stuck with me this year! ↳ maxverstappen1 just please don't steal my girlfriend ↳ y/nstagram she may be your girlfriend but she's My wife ♥️ kellypiquet

francisca.cgomes why didn't you tell me you were coming!! i would have ditched pierre :(( ↳ pierregasly everyday i wake up ↳ y/nstagram unfortunately ↳ pierregasly bro...

landonorris you got the champagne shot in action! missed seeing you around bug! ↳ y/nstagram had to see it with my own two eyes! congrats on the podium lan, you so deserve it ❤️ ↳ landonorris let's get dinner tomorrow, it's been too long ↳ user1 mr norizz shooting his shot on main damn ↳ landonorris 🤷‍♂️

carmenmmundt all the girls are getting together for dinner and drinks, you coming babe? ↳ y/nstagram i'm having dinner with kelly, max and P but i'll join for drinks after ❤️

user2 goodbye goodbye y/nsainzer's you were brighter than the whole sky ↳ user3 y/n deserves the world, if That Man couldn't give it to her that's on him.

june 2024

👤 kellypiquet, carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes, alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 58,029 others

y/nstagram healing ❤️

Comments on this post have been turned off.

[f1byjessie]

HE LIKES MY AMERICAN SMILE ━━ OP81.

love is a wild ride, and logan sargeant's sister is about to find this out the hard way.

( oscar piastri x sargeant!reader )

━━ part two.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, williamsracing, and 17,349 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername from a little boy meeting his heroes to a young man racing alongside them, getting to see all you’ve accomplished throughout the years makes me the proudest sister in the world. 2024 better watch its back, because sargeants always come back swinging.

view all 2,863 comments

logansargeant we pack a mean punch too 👊

↳ yourusername the meanest 👊

user wait no cuz this is actually so cute omg??? i want a sister to make cute posts about me

user definitely can’t wait to see more y/n at the races in 2024

williamsracing It was lovely having you in the paddock this season Y/N! We’re already looking forward to seeing what 2024 has in store!

↳ yourusername it was a genuine honor to be there! plus i look great in blue 😉💙

↳ user wait does this mean logan is re-signing??

alex_albon me and lily would love to have you both come round during the break if schedules align! 

↳ yourusername awwww alex!! speaking on behalf of logan, we’d love to!!

user i’m living vicariously through the sibling bond that the sargeant twins have

INSTAGRAM.

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 426,972

tagged: oscarpiastri

mclaren Some of our favourite meme-worthy images of Oscar from 2023! Which is your fav?

view all 2,632 comments

oscarpiastri guys…

user mclaren admin knows what the people want

↳ user mclaren admin feeding us well on this fine day

user these are actually so funny omg mans ain’t got no face filter

landonorris yea so this won’t be necessary for me pls and thx

↳ mclaren We already have the pictures ready! 👍

user i’ve made all of these faces at my tv this year

yourusername oh to be a rubber ducky in oscar piastri’s ice bath

↳ user OH? MY?? GOD???

↳ user UMMMM

↳ user real

INSTAGRAM.

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 835,781 others

tagged: oscarpiastri

landonorris papaya pals! looking forward to another season with you mate

view all 6,264 comments

user going into cardiac arrest

user damn oscar looking caked up

↳ user i’m glad i wasn’t the only one thinking it

oscarpiastri of all the pictures

↳ landonorris i giveth thy people what they want

↳ yourusername and we thank you for it sir lando 🫡

user MANIFESTING MORE PODIUMS FOR 2024

mclaren Looking forward to another year, boys! 🧡

danielricciardo you’re only posting these to show off your ass

↳ landonorris and if i am?

INSTAGRAM.

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 11,263 others

yourusername i can still recall our last summer 

view all 926 comments

logansargeant it’s december 1st???

↳ yourusername it’s summer somewhere

user i wish i lived in florida

user MAMMA MIA REFERENCE

oscarpiastri ☀️

↳ yourusername 🌊

user i’m so delulu about what this could mean

↳ user it’s probably just an aesthetic caption?? y’all are fr crazy

↳ user no cuz it’s literally winter rn in the states so why would she post about summer?

↳ user bc she lives in florida?? where the weather is like summer all the time??

You lower your phone and look back to the dark waters crashing against the shore. Logan’s time in Formula 1 has meant you’ve been traveling around the world, getting to experience so much more than you’d ever imagined you would in your lifetime, but nothing compares to the familiarity and comfort of Florida— of home.

And your friends.

“So,” Sophia bumps her shoulder against yours, eyes alight with mischief when you turn to meet her expectant gaze. “Come on,” she teases, “tell me about him.”

You’ve been friends with her for a few years now, ever since moving back to the United States. She was born and partially raised in Belgium, so after spending so long in Europe, she’s the only one who understood the minor culture shock of moving back. You both clicked, and you’ve been stuck together ever since. You’ve learned, however, that if there’s one constant about her, it’s without a doubt her need to gossip about anything and everything— but specifically boys.

You huff out a laugh, “There’s no ‘he’ to tell you about.”

She hums into her glass of wine, eyeing you skeptically.

“There isn’t!” You laugh, shoving her lightly.

She gasps and feigns falling back onto the blanket spread out beneath you. She’s dramatic, too, and that’s another reason you matched so well. She feels like the sister you never had, which makes moments like this feel even more special.

“This back and forth with a certain OP-eighty-one suggests otherwise,” she sing-songs back at you as she sits up, making kissing faces and cackling when you shove at her again.

“I’m not sure how you even know about that,” you grumble. “You don’t even use Instagram.”

“Maybe not, babes,” she casts her gaze out across the ocean, “but I have my sources. So come on, between us girls and us girls only, tell me what’s going on.”

You heave a sigh, gulp down the last mouthful of wine in your glass, and then pour yourself another while she waits. You’re not getting out of this, and part of you does really want to talk about things. On top of being your brother and therefore way more protective than he needs to be, Logan is also Oscar’s best friend and you’re not sure what “bro code” is exactly, but you imagine not dating your friend’s sister is part of it— so he’s out of the question. You’d go to Dalton if you were sure he wouldn’t tell Logan, but they’re loyal to each other and have some sort of unspoken pact when it comes to your love life. You joked once that instead of your dad, it’d be them waiting at the door with a shotgun if you ever brought a guy home, but you’re not sure it was a joke at all with how they act sometimes.

“It started in Bahrain,” you begin, rolling your eyes when she wiggles excitedly and turns her undivided attention to you. “I’ve known him for a while because he and Logan have driven together since they were young, so I messaged him after the race to say that it sucked he had to retire so early into it.”

“And?”

You shoot her a look. “And, we kept talking. One thing led to another and we met up for drinks…” You fiddle with the rim of your glass, glancing back out to the water. You can’t tell if the heat on your face is because you’re embarrassed, or from spending so much of your day under the Floridian sun. “That’s it.”

“That’s it?” She asks incredulously.

“Well—” you purse your lips. “We kissed. Once. When he dropped me off at the hotel. But it was probably just the alcohol or something. I don’t think he wanted it to mean anything. I bet he just wanted to have fun but couldn’t because he had to leave early in the morning.”

She sends you a look. “He was sober enough to drive you back… but you think it was alcohol influencing his decisions? And he kissed you, even knowing he wouldn’t be able to ‘have fun?’ Right. Didn’t mean anything at all.”

You shake your head and huff. “He was upset because he’d had such high hopes for his first Grand Prix and it ended poorly, and I was there to comfort him, so maybe that’s why. He got caught up in the moment, or something.”

“Y/N, I love you. I do. You’re my best friend and you’re like a little sister to me,” she cups your face in her hands and turns you to look at her. “But you can be so dense sometimes, do you know that?”

“Then why hasn’t he brought it up?” You ask, your voice garbled slightly from the way her hands squish your cheeks together. “We saw each other again in Melbourne, to celebrate him getting his first points, and he didn’t say anything then. Or Miami, or England, or Japan.”

She gives you another look and lets your face go. “It’s a two-way street, babe. Why haven’t you brought it up?”

And… that’s a good point. You technically could’ve brought it up, too. You’d just been so afraid of how he would’ve reacted that you’d chosen to keep quiet, preferring uncertainty over rejection. It’s the same reason why you so rarely pursue the things you want. A fear of rejection stands in your way, and you realize suddenly that you could’ve ruined things with someone you genuinely like just because you were afraid.

“You know, like, Schrodinger’s cat," you start meekly. "If you don’t open the box, the cat is dead and alive, because you don’t know. So I never brought it up. Because not knowing is better than him telling me it was nothing.”

She reaches out and wraps her arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her side. When she speaks again, her voice is calmer, less accusatory, a murmur against the ambiance of the hissing tide— “But what if he tells you it’s something?”

You groan. “He probably thinks I’m not interested.”

“Y/N—”

“Oh God!” You pull away and bury your face into your hands. “I ruined it all!”

She pries your hands away and looks you in the eye. There’s a sparkle in her gaze, it’s the look she gets when she has a plan.

“You haven’t ruined it. We just have some work to do.”

━━ tags: @f1-is-lovely-33 @chasing-liberosis

━━ a/n: i am overwhelmed by the amount of love on the first part of this! genuinely did not anticipate it at all, and i'm so thankful. so here's the second part! i hope it does justice to the first!

[tofupixel]

Hello! I randomly came across your art on my feed, first of all its absolutely fckn amazing. You’re are very talented and all of it is so beautiful, but I’ve also seen that you’re creating art for a game, and/or making a new game in general. Really curious as to what game, if you’re able to tell me! It looks amazing! I’m a sucker for indie farm/fantasy type games! Tysm ♥️

thank you!

oh yay i get to talk about sprite festival

its set in a fantasy world where these little 4 legged creatures are spirits that come in many varieties. they are based on a species my friend/the creator made called chowlings but other species will be in the game.

it's a sandbox / rpg game where players will be able to customize their home/plot of land and even their own character with an editable spritesheet. there will be fighting, battling and farming elements as well.

base sprite vs customized one

there are a few artists working on it, not just me, but i do most of the exterior tileset, specifically the natural stuff

RN i am working on an inner forest explorable biome which will be more ancient, with densely packed giant trees and ruins and stuff.

the little walking guy i was working on today is based on this concept by the creator:

no page yet for the game but we are aiming for kickstarter this year. i will post more about it when i'm able!

here's a video of the UI test as a treat! i dont have a lot of nice looking stuff to show off cos it all gets put together by someone else in the engine so lol

thx for asking !!

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (3) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n some band dynamics and a mini reunion in toyko

masterlist | last part | part 3 | next part

INSTAGRAM

emptybottlesbar

liked by cameliazzz and 99,284 others

emptybottlesbar Hey! Our awesome lead guitarist turned 23 today AND it's on the first night in Jakarta 🫨 Be sure to give our boy some love! P.S. we couldn't find old birthday photos without Lina (1: Kas' 23rd birthday, 2: Kas' 17th birthday, 3: Kas' 14th birthday) tagged: emptybottles_official, lukaszhang and selinabui

selinabui i'm sorry i was like his only friend growing up?

28kaslina24 kaslina 🩷❤️🩷❤️

emptybottles_official Beach City International Stadium

liked by lukaszhang and 299,726 others

emptybottles_official Snaps from Jakarta, you guys were an amazing crowd, we hope you had as much fun as we did 📸 📸 next stop: Tokyo, Japan

cameliazzz kas and aid both need haircuts why did i not notice this ↳ selinabui @ cameliazzz maybe bc ur behind them all the time

TWITTER

lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h in honour of the next stop of the 'twelve more days' tour being tokyo, here's the best thing to come out of the 'overtime' tour (before it got cancelled):

↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h look at kas serving in that polka-dotted scarf

↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h the greatest discovery was that kas and aid shared rooms the whole tour

↳ 🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 2h did we ever find out about the sushi train thing? ↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 2h lina and cami went to an all-you-can-eat sushi train and almost missed night 2 because they were throwing up backstage ↳ li(n)a @meliabelrose · 1h why is this giving "pam and i feed off each others energy..." "she said that?" energy 😭😭 ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 1h can't believe this was 4 years ago???

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris and 109,182 others

oscarpiastri Still not over this weekend

selinabui see you soon stranger 💖 ↳ pastry81 HUH LINA WDYM SEE YOU SOON???

zhouguanyu24 the last picture 👀

landonorris great to be home, eh?

emptybottlos papaya stuff, papaya stuff, papaya- lina??? ↳ piastri_lina @emptybottlos gagged us all WHERE'S THAT COMMENT THAT SAID OSC DIDN'T CARE FOR HER

logansargeant "I did great at my home race" "the fans were amazing" "also I got to watch my girlfriend's sold-out tour's opening show" ↳ oliviafufu @ logansargeant OPENING SHOW??? HE WENT ON THURSDAY AS WELL?

selinabui Tokyo, Japan

liked by eb_jonno and 118,972 others

selinabui in the daytime (and early evening)

oscarpiastri Well, that's a completely flattering angle of me, thanks :D ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri omg i think so too 🥰

jemma.wren lina as linabell oh she's so cute <3333

2cami4lina serious question here, does he wear anything other than orange? ↳ cameliazzz @2cami4lina from when i've seen him? no

aidan_ebass Who won billiards? ↳ selinabui @aidan_ebass ur kidding right? don't you know how amazing i am? (kas did) ↳ 28kaslina24 @ selinabui kas was there? oooh osc*lina never beating the pr relationship allegations 🤭

oscarpiastri just posted to their story

TWITTER

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 17h OSCAR PIASTRI WHAT THE HELL??? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 17h i need to know what he said pls what did he say for her to react like that ↳ june @linafesting · 17h "mr piastri why are you wilding rn" HAD HER USING PROPER 'YOU'S??? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 17h "Wdym 😇" he's sick for that now we all want to know what he meant

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2d if my math is right... we could get lina supporting oscar in suzuka ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2d last tokyo show: friday, april 5th suzuka gp: friday, april 5th to sunday, april 7th first sk show: friday, april 12th BONUS: osc's birthday is april 6th 🥸

conNUH @chickenbirch · 39m idk what world im living in anymore ↳ conNUH @chickenbirch · 38m lina pls... he's just another pasty white guy i--

↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 18m oh shit im realising my 'im totes interested' face is lacking ↳ president linami @ linaminami · 16m AHHH??? ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 1h HELP i didn't realise she was totally blanking out as kas was yapping ↳ june @linafesting · 1h she truly looks like she'd rather be anywhere else ↳ camilina gfs fr @ drummergf · 2h kaslina stans realising the new kaslina content is this 🤡 ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 1h first pic is the exact same way i look at my brother (sheer 'stfu' energy)

BONUS : the unedited insta dm

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification

[justtwotired]

Hello ! I hope you’re doing well. I was wondering if I could get an ask for Sam and Colby. Maybe reader (female or gn neutral pronouns are fine !) is invited to go with SnC exploring an abandoned place but she’s been struggling with body image (I’m kind of in the slumps rn :/) so she’s cut back on food. Through the trip they notice her lagging behind and getting tired easily. She ends up fainting due to exhaustion and lack of food and they take care of her when she comes to. Preferably Colby pairing and lots of angst ! Only if your comfortable writing about this thank you xx 🫶🏽

Why hello there, I am so sorry for posting this rather late, I wrote a part of it, then got busy and forgot about it and just finished and edited it, so hope it’s alright!

I really like this request! Mostly because I can really relate to reader, this is always chill because then I can write five that actually make sense ya know.

I did write some angst but not LOTS, because angst is one of those things I still find difficult to write, but I hope you still like it<3

“What’s up guys it’s Sam and Colby!” Colby started. “Today, we are at an abandoned manor in the woods right behind us. It is quite a walk, but I think we will survive!” Sam told the camera.

“Also, we brought someone with us,” Sam then pointed behind him where I stood rather awkwardly, wearing a huge hoody that I may or may not have stolen from Colby’s closet.

“This is Y/n, you guys know her of course, we had lots of questions to bring her back to the Chanel, so we did of course.” Sam explained before turning the camera fully on me.

I sucked in an unnoticeable sharp breath. Did I look alright? Was that pimple I hid under makeup this morning still invisible? Did the hoody hide my body enough?

“So, N/n, are you excited?” Sam asked and I gave the camera a genuine smile. “I am actually, this place is not too far from my home town and I’ve been wanting to go here for a while, but I didn’t want to go alone, so now I have these two idiots to come along.” I joked and Sam pointed the camera at Colby.

“Did you hear that, dude?” He said in fake sadness. “I thought you where coming with us?” Colby said also jokingly hurt. “I’m still stuck on the fact she called us idiots.” Sam said and pointed the camera at himself.

“Seems like we have to change the channel name to ‘Y/n only’ because she is taking over.” He said and I chuckled. “Oh yeah, definitely, and I’ll give them weekly uploads instead of your monthly shit.” I said and Colby grinned.

“What you’re going to the conjuring then? Staying a week there?” He asked and I pursed my lips. “Well I didn’t say that.”

The two laughed and Sam shut off the camera. “Heading to the forest, then?” He asked and we nodded. Suddenly my stomach made a growling noice and they stopped.

“We could get something to eat first?” Colby suggested and I shook my head. “Nahh, it’s fine, I’m not that hungry really,” I waved it off and kept walking.

“Are you sure? You haven’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s almost two in the afternoon,” Colby said and I just chuckled.

“I’m fine, really,” I smiled at him and kept walking, not missing the look the two of them exchanged before following me.

Truth to be told, the last time I ate would be the crackers from the day before, as I had just a bit in the afternoon after almost passing out.

Colby walked in the back, having taken over the camera from Sam and he recorded as we entered the forest.

I knew the walk would be about 20 minutes, so it wasn’t that bad, but I felt myself stress out when I became light headed.

Oh no, please, please not now.

Passing out has become normal now, the lack of food I’ve been consuming has been taking a toll on me. I never tell anyone, it’s my little secret, I didn’t need them to worry about me or feed me lies of how I was ‘beautiful’ because I know I’m not.

I stumbled and almost fell but steadied myself. “You alright there?” Sam turned around with a small grin and I gave him one back. “I’m fine,” I lied and we kept on walking, Cole shutting the camera off.

When the building came in sight he started it up again, and of course, as if fate had planned it, I fell and I noticed my consciousness slip away.

The last thing I felt was two arms around my waist and I was out.

I heard someone calling my name from afar and my eyes slowly opened.

“Oh, thank god, Sam! Sam she’s opened her eyes!” Colby called out. I slowly sat up. I was laying in the grass and I noticed Sam jogging over with his phone in his hands.

“Are you alright?” I looked at Colby who had a concerned look on his face and I nodded, trying to stand up but he put his hands on my shoulders.

“Woah, lets keep sitting down for a minute, love,” he said and I sat, rubbing my head. “How long was I out for?” I asked and Colby looked at his watch.

“Five minutes at least.” He told me. “Yeah, I tried calling for help, but there’s no service,” Sam said and I gave him a weirded out look.

“What help did you try to call?” I asked and he shrugged sheepishly. “Your mum, I thought maybe this had happened before,” he said and I sniffed.

“It happened a few times, but my mum doesn’t know, and don’t even think of telling her,” I said and the exchanged glances.

“You know what’s happening then?” Colby asked and I sighed. “I haven’t eaten in a moment, that’s probably it.” I confessed and Colby sighed.

“I told you that you should it this morning- when is the last time you ate?” He questioned. “Uhh, yesterday, some crackers,” I said and he clenched his teeth slightly.

“A decent meal,” he clarified and I bit my lip thinking back. “Tuesday, I think?” I said a bit uncertain. “That’s five days ago, Y/n!” He scolded and pursed my lips.

“Sorry,” I said in a small voice. Sam got his backpack of his shoulders and started to rummage trough it, pulling out an apple.

“Eat this,” he said and I took it from him, frowning at it a bit. “N/n,” he said and I sighed taking bite.

They made me sit for about ten minutes, and demanded I tell them why I wasn’t eating. With a bit of reluctance, I told them about how I felt, how I hated how I looked and that I felt like I was to fat.

The next twenty minutes where spent with them telling me all the things they liked about my look and my personality, giving me reasons to eat and demanding we go to a restaurant after this so I could eat a decent meal.

They also demanded I ate a desert, encouraging me to continue eating and not worry about my looks, because in their opinion, I looked beautiful.

At the end of the conversation, I had tears in my eyes, and I wiped them away, and I reassured them that it’d be fine to still film the video, as we all wanted to continue.

[kairiscorner]

ok but imagine miggy with a perfectionist/overachiever/burnt out gifted kid reader

(tw: mentions of light self-starvation, keep yourselves fed babes, you deserve to eat)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

...

summary: you really wanted to keep your number one spot, but at the cost of your well-being? miguel refuses to watch you do this to yourself any longer and takes matters into his own hands.

word count: ~1.7k

it was 2 in the morning, and you were still burning the candle at both ends. you were hard at work memorizing concepts, diagrams, easily mispronounced words and acronyms you'd never use or find useful ever again in your life unless you were on a trivia gameshow.

you were hard at work trying to understand what little was entering your mind already, a little overwhelmed by the concepts flooding your brain, but not ready to get to bed yet, out of fear someone will push you off your throne as one of the top students of the class.

you were intelligent, you had a gift; you heard those words all your life, every tine you came home with a new certificate, medal, trophy–or all three at once. you couldn't help it, school was just too easy for you back then; you could take the tests with your eyes closed and without even studying the night before.

but soon, it got harder for some reason. you originally didn't mind, you still passed with flying colors and with minimal effort–but at the cost of your sleep schedule and eating habits. you convinced yourself it was fine, it was okay, so long as you were on top.

that was all you could think of, "i just need to stay on top, then i'll be fine. nothing's better than showing them all i'm better, i'm smart, i'm... worthy of this, all this."

your mantra worked, but it worked too well that it backfired horribly.

hence, here you were, on an empty stomach that was growling, begging for you to fill it with sustenance, as the clock soon ticked to 2:15 am. the constant ticking of the clock irritating you, and thoughts of getting a digital clock to lessen distractions filled your head–ironically becoming a distraction in itself.

you groaned, you had to face it, you weren't going to get anything done at this rate. you decided to check your phone for something that might help stimulate you, maybe motivate you, even, to get back to studying.

you went online for a little, laughed at a few videos, got interested in some rabbit hole videos, found yourself singing along to some songs that you clicked on from your feed. it was peaceful.

but soon, you were greeted by a flurry of messages from your concerned friend, miguel o'hara.

you opened your latest message notification from him and read it as soon as it flashed on your screen. "what is so important that you should be up right now?" he asked.

you bit your lip as you tried to think of what to say. you knew miguel was the unyielding type of person, if you gave him a bullshit answer, you were going to get bullshit from him. you typed, erased, retyped and re-erased your message over and over again. but you finally came to the conclusion to type out, "why are you up rn?" you texted, sending him a duck emoji afterwards. he hated when you did that.

"it's 2:20 am," he argued. "correction, 2:21 in the morning," you responded. "are you even doing anything worthwhile right now? maybe rethinking which direction your life's headed before graduation?" he texted back, to which you giggled.

"you didn't answer my question," you replied, with a duck emoji again. "i was up because i saw your online status. don't think you're slick, you didn't answer my previous questions, either." he replied. "and what relevance does the duck serve in this conversation? i seriously don't understand."

you laughed aloud at his blunt answer, and in your half-tired daze, you accidentally pressed the call button. it wasn't until you heard his voice on the other end that you realized you accidentally called him.

"hello?" rang his voice from the other end, a little groggy. "um, hi." you responded as he groaned. "why the... shock are you up?" he asked, a little irritated. "we have our finals tomorrow." you replied curtly. "so? that doesn't answer my question. why are you shocking up?" he asked in a more annoyed tone as he shook off the grogginess in his voice.

"por el amor de Dios..." he muttered under his breath. you were a little taken aback by how... captivating he sounded when sleepy. a little grumpy, yes, but you felt like you could listen to his voice be like this every day. maybe you would stay up a little late just to hear him like this.

"go back to bed." he told you, trying to sound commanding. "and why would i ever do that? you know how important the finals are." you remind him. "...and how important being the top student is for me." you murmured out that last bit, to which he raised an eyebrow at.

he breathed a sigh. "i seriously can't believe you'd prioritize being a top student over giving your body a much needed break." he berated you as you hunched your shoulders, a little disappointed that he had a point. before you could say anything to retort, your stomach sided with miguel and let out a deep, rumbling whine.

the sound of your stomach complaining about how poorly you've been keeping it fed alerted miguel as he sighed yet again. "what time was it when you last ate?" he asked you, his voice soft as he tried to keep himself calm and composed.

"ah, well, maybe around... i forgot." you answered honestly. "you forgot?" he asked in a concerned voice. "you really can't live without me, huh?" he asked as you heard the shuffling of bed spreads and his big footsteps as he walked around his room. "what are you doing?" you asked him.

"more important question is where i'm going, and if you must know, i'm headed to your dorm right this–" and before he could even finish, there was a rapping of knocks on your door. you got up as you wondered if the person knocking was who you feared it was.

"–my phone died." he said in a low voice. "hope it rests in peace." you joked in a straight, nonchalant tone as miguel sighed at the bad joke. he entered your dorm without another word and set on your table the big white plastic bag he brought with him.

he didn't change out of his white shirt, dark and light blue striped pajama pants, and wore the jacket you bought for him on his birthday. "sit down." he commanded in a soft voice. "what is th–" "sit. down." he repeated himself in a more solid voice, which shut you up and got you to sit down immediately without asking any questions.

before you could get another word out of your mouth, miguel handed you an empanada. it was a little soft and limp, but it was warm. you could tell this wasn't made by just anybody. no, you recognized this style of empanda wrapping, the way it was golden brown on one side, slightly browned on the other–the abundance of meat in the filling with hardly any vegetables, just the way you liked it.

the only person who knew how to make it this way was...

"well damn, miggy, didn't think you were gonna make me anything." you said as you took a bite of the empanada. he shrugged. "i was going to give them to you today, but you were holed up in the library all day. if not the library, then in your dorm, locking yourself in your own misery." he said as he ate his helping.

you chuckled. "hey, don't laugh. i worried about you all day." he scolded you lightly with a half-full mouth. "oh. is that why you were online earlier?" you asked him, eating your empanada to satiate your starving stomach.

"i... i couldn't sleep." he admitted. "why not?" you asked him. "...a part of me thinks it was because i couldn't stop worrying about you. i didn't see you the whole day and i really, really wanted to know if you were okay. you know it kills me every time when you don't talk to me, let me know if you're alive, at least." he said as he looked up at you, his expression softening.

"oh, mig, i'm... so sorry." you said as you realized the weight of your actions, how it affected not only you, but miguel, and possibly other people who cared about you. miguel put his non-greasy hand on your cheek. "you should be." he said promptly. "but don't beat yourself up over it, you've been beating yourself every day since you were on top, not wanting to lose." he went on as he rubbed the side of your face.

"it's admirable, but please don't lose yourself over it. i think you're good enough already at second, third, or even no place at the top. you'll always have a place in my heart, that's the only thing no one can take away from you. that's the only place you'll always be number one in." he said with a small smile. "please promise me you'll take care of yourself, even if you can't accept losing once or twice or many more times in your life to someone else. i'd rather see you lose at everything but yourself. but i know you're good enough already, you don't have to overdo it anymore, okay?" he reminded you, to which you nodded and rubbed away at your eyes.

tears formed and rolled down your cheeks as he spoke, tears you never realized you were holding in, which suddenly came flooding right out when miguel talked to you. "ah... sorry." miguel apologized as he wiped away your tears with a napkin. "i promise, miguel." you sniffled out. "i'll... i'll try to take care of... myself." you promised as miguel held your face in his hands. "and if you can't... i'm right here for you. i've always got you, no matter what." he said as he kissed your forehead, a gentle and loving reminder that you can be number one at everything all you want, you already are his number one, but never forget that you have to be number one for yourself, first.

a/n: I NEEDED THIS WHEN I WAS 1 POINT AWAY FROM A 98 GENERAL AVERAGE ON MY CARD I SWEAR /cries HOPING YOU BABES LOVED THIS

tags !! @miguelswifey04

[naivegh0ul]

ABSOLUTELY SPLENDID (also omg hiii! Pain buddies ♡♡♡)

If its ok could you do Gn!Reader at least? Since im just a gay lil lad. (I'm a guy but I feel a lil rude to ask for masc!Reader 👉👈)

Anyway! Reader with a cane and chronic pain and EDS related issues (like hypermobile joints) and ghost being so kind about it especially since reader is young and "looks healthy"

Always anxious about using their cane because of certain people making comments like that. Like they can walk without it a bit but will be so sad and achy cause their legs and back hurts and so many places just do NOT have enough seating. (Often ends up sitting on the floor even to rest even though its such a hassle to sit down or push themselves up)

Scary dog privilege ghost being such a good emotional support, being so gentle with reader to use their mobility aid while also being so scary to someone if they try to say something or give a look.

Ghost being like a human reminder to take breaks, fix posture (you know with hypermobility and 'knee locking'), take your cane, pain killers for more busy days etc. Cause he just cares so fucking much and wants to make sure reader is in the least amount of pain possible.

Probably would carry reader if they asked

Just!! Need soft ghost comforts cause im such a sad achy boy rn.

(Also a lil unrelated to chronic pain but I need him to lay his full body weight on my small body cause I am the autistic and I crave that pressure and also feel like it would do WONDERS for my back)

how and why are you so relatable!!!! also don't ever feel rude or awkward ab requesting masc reader, pls request whatever you want <333

Ghost understands your chronic pain, after all, he's getting shot at on the daily so he's pretty achey all over. He's always reassuring you whenever you're having one of your bad days, cuddling you close to him when you sniffle and sob into his chest from the pain :(

He's such a sweetheart about it and always carries a spare cane with him wherever he goes. People don't question an older veteran carrying around a cane so you don't have to worry about people giving you weird looks about it.

And if it's one of those days where you're really feeling anxious about using your mobility aids in public, Ghost will just carry you. He doesn't want you sitting on the hard, dirty floor so he'll have you on his back or holding you bridal-style.

He calls you his little backpack when he's carrying you on his back. Sometimes people look at him weird because why is Ghost carrying a full grown man on his back? Ghost just glares at them, gives them a 'don't say anything bad about my partner or I'll kill you' type of look.

He is like a human alarm clock sometimes, pops up behind you and whispers "Have you taken your meds?" in your ear before magically producing them, pulling them out of his pocket. (and an entire water bottle??)

I need him to lay me too, dude. After a long day of you using your cane, he'll feed you and make you take your medication before laying you in bed and putting his entire body weight on top of you.

This man will become a heated, weighted blanket in an instant. He'll have you lay your head on your wedge pillow and will flop on top of you, nuzzling his face into your neck and praising you for how well you did today and how you took all of your meds and used your mobility aid when you needed it instead of trying to push through the pain.

[danothan]

i am female manipulating you….tell me about your hyperfixations and special interests…..

!! well my biggest hypfix rn is arcane and my most pressing special interest is dc, so i’ve been trying to find as many similarities as i can between my respective faves (aka jayce talis and barry allen). no other reason than self-indulgent crossovers and categorizational satisfaction U__U

i’ve done this before, but now i’m also adding a visual component by comparing screenshots/panels! here’s a taste:

[s2e1 spoilers below cut]

i was thinking abt what i said abt their compartmentalizing tendencies, which led me to think abt the different ways jayce confides in his loved ones and how that plays into his inability to see the bigger picture. after his partner viktor nearly dies in the councilroom attack, jayce confides in mel (gf) for emotional support but tells caitlyn (family friend) what he’s actually thinking. when mel asks how viktor’s doing and jayce responds “he’s still breathing,” it feels defeated but leaves room for hope. when cait asks the same, he tells her “honestly, i don’t even know if he’s still in there,” like there’s less stakes to have to hide behind optimism

that’s not to say he isn’t vulnerable w mel ofc, he lies his head in her lap and allows her to comfort him thru his survivor’s guilt. however, this only reassures his emotional unease (sm to be said abt this x his argument style, but that’s for another day). with cait, he’s definitely not confiding for comfort lmao (i still think it’s funny and so very little sister of her to ask jayce how his dying partner is doing and then immediately start venting abt her own problems). instead, it’s more like jayce is trying to process, even if it’s just to be honest w himself

all of this to say, the ppl in jayce’s life have specific roles, which means he goes to them for specific things. this is a normal thing that pretty much everyone does, but in jayce’s case, his compartmentalizing feeds into his tunnel vision + influenceable disposition. having specific ppl for specific things is great for not burdening any one person w all of your problems, but it makes it harder for him to see the bigger picture outside of himself. there’s a reason why jayce is notorious for his recency bias; it’s easy to get lost in the details when you can only see what’s being reflected at you in a given moment

this tendency to compartmentalize is a trait jayce shares w barry “i try not to blur the lines” allen. if anyone is going to have specific ppl for specific things, it’s gonna be the guy that splits his life into two personas (that he refuses to overlap yet can’t exist without the other, but hey, who’s keeping track?). barry does it a little differently tho; whereas jayce is very external in his emotions, barry is internal, going so far as to use his powers to speedrun his grief alone so he can be there for other ppl instead

they’re both very intense in their emotions, but barry bottles his up until they reach a boiling point. if he confides in someone, there’s a calculated secrecy that jayce doesn’t have. for example, barry’s best friend hal (who knew him first as the flash) usually has to force barry to admit his feelings abt smth, while his gf/wife iris (who knew him first as barry) feels like she’s pulling teeth to get any information out of him. “flash is flash, barry is barry”; he tries not to blur the lines, and this extends to the ppl that know him

it’s not that barry wants to hide himself (in fact, his love language is to understand and to be understood), he just has a hard time letting any one person know all of him. he’s social and sensitive but selectively vulnerable. it’s like he scatters fragments of himself so that everyone can have a piece, but no one has the full picture. it’s no surprise he isn’t able to see the big picture himself

between their compartmentalization, their short-sightedness, and their audacious idea of protecting their loved ones, i think the jayce-to-barry pipeline was inevitable for me lol. but interestingly enough, i never realized how different they were in their similarities until i wrote it all out here! i hope this makes sense if you aren’t familiar w the characters, it’s definitely been enlightening for me ^__^

[suusoh]

(repost because the og was bugging out ToT)

girlie are you are one of the top mommy johan fans rn and i am HERE for it!. Anyways have 13-ish paragraphs of me rambling why calling a man "mommy" is revolutionary and hot actually.

(tw: mommy kink, forced mother-daughter dynamics, infantilization-ish?)

the obvious ones of course being he does everything. I mean everything for you. Bathes you, brushes your hair, dresses you up by himself, hand-feeds you, etc. Will not let you do anything for yourself if he can help it. Even recreational activities, like watching TV or reading, he is finding a way to make it with his intervention such as holding the remote and he reading the book for you.

not an exact point where this stems from, but I have a small vision of Johan curiously played with one of his sister's baby dolls one time, or growing up with a mother and a sister (in some alternate universe where miss vera cerna got to raise the twins by herself), so maybe some of those things have passed onto him without him knowing.

You are his baby. that goes without saying. He'll call you baby from time to time, but not in a cutesy-couple petname way that one would imagine your average boyfriend would say it. He'd recite it like a healthcare nurse would. Won't be used as a common petname, it would come out when he feels especially a bit more motherly. other examples:

- clinical mutterings to himself ("baby needs to rest, they've been crying all day.") - maternal reflex and musings ("hm? no it's alright. baby doesn't need to worry about that, okay?") ("and why is my baby feeling sad today, hm? tell me.") - accidentally being condescending ("baby, you know that's not good for you.") - the last one is so weird to hear from him because the way he says baby isn't lighthearted or lover-y at all. it's so blank and emotionless. 💀

I think the tendencies are gradual. I love to headcanon that it starts out as your friend johan being a bit too doting at times. you even joke about it, groaning and calling him "mom" when he's being a bit too overbearing. Over time he becomes your boyfriend, one that coddles you a lot to an almost concerning degree (that's... normal right? people always fuss over their loved ones...). Next thing you know he's lulling you to sleep, conditioning you to to associate your sleepy time with his lullaby.

I don't think he's being fully delusional about it? He knows damn well that he's a grown man and you're a grown adult as well, unrelated with each other, and you guys are nowhere near any semblance of a mother-daughter. But that doesn't mean he won't impose the dynamic on you anyway. Thinks it's beneficial enough for both of you: he gets to care for you and you get to be taken care of. It works so well that it might as well be your permanent dynamic. (Or so he says. You crying and feeling yourself slowly lose a major part of yourself tied with your autonomy is just a natural part of sudden "changes".).

So he won't infantilize you to the point of actually getting baby stuff for you lol. he just wants to be your mother <3 and mothering also includes maybe discussing some topics over tea to see what your beloved daughter has learned today and seeing what you made today; a new painting? a new crochet project? making another science diorama? tell him. tell mom what you're proud of these days <3

WOULLDDDD wear the blonde wig maybe at times. Not that he associates long hair with motherhood. but it's just a thing he tries from time to time. maybe he's trying to emulate his mom to get more in-tuned with motherhood? Norman bates style? hot.

has a set schedule for you. reading time, feeding time, daylight time, etc. Though he can be flexible, your bedtime and eating time is a non-negotiable. you need your sleep and your food. Though I think he'd love it if you can't think for yourself and depend on him for everything, I think he'd still try to enrich your brain. So there's a time of day for mind exercise and studying: Reading together, watching documentaries, little games and puzzles to bond over like a good mother-daughter <3

speaking of food: endless spoiling duh. I think he'll even love it when you gain a few pounds from how well he's feeding you. it's another sign that he's taking care of you well. From takeout, to cooking for you, to filling he pantry full and giving you a snack every hour or so; he is stuffing you until you're full and sleepy. Will never let you go hungry. ever.

nsfw:

maybe.... maybe makes u latch onto his nips. breastfeeding and all that. hehe. will train you to start sucking on his nipples as a habit for you to calm down. Lets you suckle on his tongue as well if it'll help you go calm down <33 it's his substitute to a baby bottle. it's mortifying to you when you're sad and upset then you suddenly get the tingling on your tongue to just... orally fixate on something. it means it's working.

WOULD absolutely research how to induce lactation in men lol <3

loves loves loves using making you cum over and over again to leave you dazed, soft, and unable to be feisty. I think sex will definitely become a means to fix you whenever you become a bit too... "fussy" for his liking. Makes you cum over and over again until you're crying and pleading for no more, until you're passing out and unable to move your legs. He decides how many orgasms is enough already or if you need another round. And from what he sees? baby needs another leg-shaking orgasm from how cranky they were this morning.

overstimulation his beloved <3 thoroughly believes that sex is a form of taking care of you and making you feel good. and why wouldn't he want his baby to feel anything but good?

WILL fuck to sleep every night. sees it as the best way to get you to have the best sleep over (aka: you passing out to the point you might even wake up in the late afternoon). Vibrators are his best friend.

cockwarming. cockwarming. cockwarming. aaaaaaand- cockwarming. all while he's cradling you into his neck. will playfully rock his hips into you from time to time to enjoy the feeling of you squeezing around him for more. further proving you're always craving for his care.

~ that's all i got so far hehehehheeh hope u enjoy!

[ibrowjo]

Kind of Like a Mother

a/n: I've been wanting to upload my writing for a while now, and I just finished editing this one (maybe, it's late so who knows how it looks rn), so I thought 'why not?' I've been writing a lot of self-insert fics that have to do with things I've been through myself or with family members, and that's what this one turned into by accident... oops. so be free little bird lol.

Warnings: fighting, angst, language, brief mentions of death and violence, talk of menstruation and infertility

Word count: 3829

“I’m home!” I called, returning from my late night shopping trip. No answer came as I carefully stepped down the metal stairs of the bunker, trying not to drop the bags of groceries layered up my arms. Nobody home to help me. Nobody home to see the bag full of candy bars and cream-filled cakes I intended to keep stashed in my room. Perfect.

The truth of the matter was that I didn’t eat a lot of sweets, but when Castiel discovered Jack eating breakfast cereal in the dark in the middle of the night to hide from Sam and his healthy habits, I took it upon myself to empty one of my dresser drawers and keep it stocked with treats instead. Cas knew about this, but we both agreed Dean couldn’t. Not that he’d try and stop Jack like Sam would, but the angel and I both knew the stash would disappear without anyone having seen Dean try. Besides, I never used the room anyway, so it was the perfect hideout.

Once my heavy boot met the stone floor at the bottom of the stairs, I hurried down the few steps into the kitchen, prickling sensations shooting up and down my right arm from the weight that the woven, recycled plastic straps were carrying. I had gotten good at packing groceries into my reusable bags, but feeding a house full of hungry men meant seven heaping bags at the end of every weekly shopping trip. And I’ll be damned if I had to make more than one trip.

I heaved my progressively numbing arms up over the table and plopped the bags down, freeing myself from the tangle of bags. “Atta girl,” I whispered to myself, shaking my arms down by my sides to get the blood flowing again. Once the warmth worked its way back into my fingertips, I jumped right in, going first for the two bags stuffed with cold items. Footsteps sounded behind me as I was busy buried in the fridge arranging the fresh food around Sam’s various flavored protein shakes. I turned quickly just in time to see the Green Giant approaching the bags, reaching out to grab one and help.

“Hey,” Sam started. “You’re back. I wanted to talk to you ab-”

“STOP,” I roared, my hands reaching out in front of me as if the action alone could repel the 6’4” giant.

He raised his hands up in front of him in surrender, a look of concern spreading across his face.

“Woah, sorry,” he said as I lowered my hands. “What’s going on?”

I thought up the best lie I could as I rushed to the table and started discreetly looking through the bags, searching for the sugary gold mine.

“Girl stuff! I have…stuff…in one of these bags. Sorry,” I lied sheepishly.

“Okay…” he responded in confusion. My lie was stupid. Sure they were guys, but I’d never been one to shy away from asking them to pick up some tampons when they were out. They didn’t even need to ask what size to get anymore. When it was Dean’s turn, he’d not only show up with the tampons, but some condoms and a bunch of my favorite fruit as well.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, finding the correct bag and pulling it off the table, hugging it to my chest. “I’m just going to put this in my room and I’ll be back.” I went to walk away, but Sam called out gently.

“Hey, are you okay?” I turned to face him again, smiling at him sheepishly.

“Of course I am,” I replied curtly.

“You’re acting a little…weird.” I stared back at him in silence trying to think of something to say to get him off my back, but before I could, he walked closer to me and lowered his voice to continue. “Are you hiding…like a…test or something? Because if you are, I promise-”

“No!” My eyes widened as it hit me what Sam was insinuating. “No. Not at all, Sammy, no.”

Sam’s question threw me off, and I spaced out. He had no way of knowing. Not unless Dean or Cas told him, which I knew would never happen. My best friend stuffed his hands into his pockets, staring me down waiting for an explanation, but my mind instantly flew back.

I thought of the searing pain in my abdomen for the third night in a row, of myself telling Dean it was probably residual pain from an injury on our last hunt, of him declaring it bullshit and praying to Cas to come help me. The diagnosis echoed so loudly with the angel confirming my fears. It wasn’t an injury.

“Hey,” Sam interrupted, pulling me from my painful thoughts with a wave of his hand in front of my face. “Are you with me?” Concern melted from his face and morphed into some form of frustration, his jaw clenched as he waited.

Things had been tense between all of us, what with Jack’s soul being restored, Dean’s subsequent anger, and Chuck’s looming wrath. Not even the good-natured Sam was exempt from losing his cool, meaning this conversation could turn bad rather quickly unless I turned it around.

“It’s girl stuff… for Dean and I. Just figured I’d save you the mental images.” I laughed nervously.

His response was immediate. “Oh, God. Thanks…for that,” he said as he looked up at the ceiling, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, okay. So is there anything else in these bags I should be worried about?”

“Nope,” I promised. “Knock yourself out.” I twirled on my heel and took off down the hall, still hugging the junk-filled bag to my chest.

Once the contents had been emptied into my drawer and I’d kicked my boots off, I threw myself backwards onto my unused bed, my thoughts drifting back to that night months ago.

At first, I kept telling Dean I was fine aside from the pain, which Cas was able to ease when it showed up. We weren’t planning on a kid anyway, and even in the future, it would be dangerous and just plain wrong to bring one into our world. We didn’t have to worry anymore. 

Except he saw through me like I was made of glass. No matter how hard I tried to swallow my grief down, he knew I was shattered on the inside. The doctor’s visits, disguised as date nights to Sam and Jack, were squeezed in between hunts, and the new birth control pills to help manage my ruthless cycle had their own spot in my bag next to my blades and gun. It was a new normal. One that Dean saw my daily struggle with. Even with everything he had going on, he was there for me every single time.

Now, my periods were regular and not at all a burden. No pain and no heavy bleeding.

And, as crushed as I was about it, no children.

With a cleansing sigh, I sat up and looked around my room. A thick layer of dust covered the nightstand I had emptied out immediately after I started sleeping in Dean’s room. Dragging a finger through it, I created a dark stripe, exposing the wood underneath. I inspected the dust on my fingertip for a moment before standing and retrieving an extra towel from another drawer in my dresser.

With that towel, I set to dusting the nightstand, along with the top of my dresser and the surface of my desk, lifting stacks of hunting notes and photos to file away in the attached filing drawers. Finally, I pulled the corner of the covers on the bed to straighten out where I’d rumpled them.

Satisfied and decently distracted, I returned to the kitchen to find the groceries put away, and Dean and Cas had joined Sam at the table with a couple of beers.

“There she is!” Dean grinned, holding his arm out to greet me, his gruff expression softening a bit. I walked over to him and he wrapped his arm around my waist as I placed my hand on his back. He turned and kissed the inside of my arm and said, “You are a sight for sore eyes, sweetheart. Want a drink?”

“No, I’m good, thanks baby. Where’s Jack?” I asked, gently scratching at the back of Dean’s neck.

Cas cleared his throat. “I believe he is in his room.”

“Yeah,” Dean piped up. “Kid didn’t want to come out for dinner.”

Sam cut in. “To be fair, Dean, he’s having a hard time, and you aren’t exactly helping the situation.”

Here we go.

“Hey, I’ve been nice. I’ve been doing my best, but I can’t just suddenly drop everything that happened,” the older brother responded matter of factly.

“Dean-” I started, untangling myself from his grasp. My frustration grew, as did my familiarity with this conversation.

“He’s a kid,” Sam defended, cutting me off. “He didn’t have his soul. And he loved mom. He’s devastated.”

Cas spoke up as well. “Dean, you have trusted me for years, yet you still refuse to believe me when I say Jack is good. He’s heartbroken over Mary.”

“Son of a bitch, Cas, don’t say her name. You know I’m trying.” Dean’s voice raised slightly, and I dreaded what was about to come next.

Heart sinking and uneasiness rising, I backed away from the boys as they continued to argue back and forth, and I left the kitchen, pacing through the halls to Jack’s room. I reached his door and noticed the soft light coming from underneath it.

I gently knocked. “Jack? It’s me.”

No answer.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing okay. And let you know that I still care, and I’m worried.” I paused, waiting to see if he’d open the door or say something, but nothing happened. “Just…let me know if you need anything. I know it’s been tough.” I sighed as silence filled the hallway. “Goodnight, Jack.”

I padded away from his door and towards Dean’s, tired and ready to start settling in for the night. The room I’d been sleeping in for a few months now invited me in with a smell that was so irrevocably Dean.

And right now, it annoyed me.

I’d been back and forth with Dean so many times about the poor nephilim. I was exhausted. I tried so hard to be a constant for Jack, to let him know he wasn’t a waste of space or time, but after everything with Jack’s soul and Mary’s death, things changed. His confidence in himself had been destroyed. I didn’t know how to lift him up.

I stomped over to the bed, grabbing my bottle of pills and my phone charger, then yanked a tee shirt and sweats from off the floor just as Dean walked through the door.

“What are you doing?” he asked, less as a question and more as an accusation.

“Sleeping in my room tonight,” I answered, not even looking him in the eye.

“Really? Sweetheart, come on.” He grabbed my shoulders to stop me as I started leaving.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply before letting the air out through my mouth.

“Dean,” I started as I looked up at him. “I don’t know how many more times I can have this ‘Jack’ conversation. I love you so, so much, and I really hope you know that-”

“I do,” he interrupted. “But-”

“Stop,” I commanded. “Just… stop. It’s my turn. I’ve tried to keep it all together because I know that everything’s been shit lately for all of us. It’s like one thing after another, and we’re all family, so we deal with it as a family. But seriously, I’m over the dramatics of it all. You’ve given Jack exactly zero chances since the day he was born, and considering he’s a toddler’s age, I’d say he’s doing pretty fucking well with the hand he’s been dealt.”

“Okay, first of all,” Dean started, his voice turning from irritation to rage. “My mother’s dead because of him, and there wasn’t even a body to burn, so fuck that. Second of all, don’t you dare tell me I’m being dramatic when you’re the one stomping out to sleep somewhere else without having a conversation with me. I walked in here and you immediately jumped into this. That’s not on me.”

“Sure. Yeah, tell me I’m the one losing patience here when you’re the one who just spent the last few minutes telling off your brother and your best friend for reminding you that someone else besides you has feelings!”

The two of us stared at each other for a moment before Dean exhaled sharply. “You know what,” he started, his voice returning to a normal volume but still sounding antagonistic. “I came in here to go to bed and sleep this shit off. So do whatever you want. I don’t fucking care.” He dragged his feet past me and to the bed, where he stripped down to his plain shirt and underwear before pulling back the covers and climbing in, turning so his back was facing me. “Get the light on your way out.” 

Once in my own room, changed and exhausted, I plugged my phone in and turned out the lights before settling into my own bed for the first time in a while. I felt a bit colder lying there alone, so I pulled the blankets up over my nose and twisted onto my side, curling myself into a ball to keep warm.

The silence was deafening, keeping me awake and tossing and turning as I struggled against the lack of Dean’s heavy breathing and light snoring. I drummed my fingers against the mattress, trying to lift the weight of the quiet room, but my attempt was futile, as the silence had lent a hand to the copious amount of thinking I’d forgotten I could do so late at night.

I thought of Dean and how gut wrenching it was to see him harden his already tough exterior after Mary’s death. After everything he’d been through in his life, the stages of grief only consisted of anger for him. At the beginning, Sam and I exchanged worried glances every time the anger would rear its ugly head, but after all this time, it refused to let up, and we all became a bit impatient with each other as the hellish world kept spinning. Yet every night, Dean and I would still wrap up in each other and let it all go for a moment, and I looked forward to that every time the sun began to set.

Thoughts of missing Dean turned to thoughts of concern for Jack. What was I supposed to do next? I’d hardly seen him the last few days. I didn’t know if he was eating or if he’d left his room or if he was even alive. 

I was at a loss, and I sighed, feeling dejected and rolling back and forth a couple more times before hearing my door slowly open. The light flicked on and I whipped my head around, sitting up slightly to see who it was. Before my very eyes, the young tortured nephilim jumped when he saw me and began to wiggle his fingers down at his sides anxiously.

“I am sorry,” Jack said lowly, his voice gravelly and heavy.

I pulled myself up to sit against the headboard. “Jack,” I said, blinking to adjust to the light. He stood in place, not wanting to move further into the room, but not making the decision to walk back out. “Why are you still up?” I asked, looking at the time on my phone. 1:13 AM.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came to get a snack. Sugar always makes me feel better.” The boy looked at my dresser out of the corner of his eye. “I thought you were with Dean. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“You didn’t, Jack.” He continued to stand still but relaxed his shoulders a bit at my reassurance. “Grab a couple things and come have a seat,” I said, patting the bed next to me.

I watched patiently as the slender kid slouched, curling into himself and staring at the floor as he found the knobs on my top drawer and pulled it open. His eyes widened a bit when he saw the new selection, and he rummaged for a few seconds before pulling out a king-size chocolate bar and an individually-wrapped cream-filled chocolate cake.

“Sorry I didn’t restock the nougat. I know that’s a favorite of yours.”

“That’s okay,” he reassured, sitting down next to me and swinging his feet up onto the bed. “I like chocolate.”

I smiled at him. “Nice socks,” I said, gesturing down at the many faces of Scooby-Doo on his feet.

“Thank you,” he responded without smiling back. “They are Dean’s. Sam gave them to me when I was born.” His eyes went wide. “But he said not to tell, so forget I said anything.”

I laughed quietly, reaching up and wiping Jack’s hair away from his face.

“I’m glad you have them.” I watched the corner of Jack’s mouth twitch up a little, but I could see in his eyes how troubled he was as he watched his feet wiggle back and forth, lost in his thoughts.

He finally breathed in, as if nervous to speak, but let his thoughts out anyway. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Well,” he started, taking another breath. “I have a mother, but I don’t get to see her. And you take care of me, so you are kind of like a mother. And, well, my mother told me I was special and good and that I would change the world, but I don’t know what she would say now with everything I have done. And,” Jack paused as he fiddled with the chocolate bar wrapper. “Do you think I’m bad like Dean does?”

Jack’s words pierced my heart. I closed my eyes and swallowed, contemplating how afraid he was and how devastated he must be thinking I felt the same as Dean. My mind flashed back to Dean’s gun pointed at a kneeling Jack and the look on the boy’s face. He thought he deserved it.

I grabbed my pillow from behind me and set it down on my lap, patting the top of it as an invitation for Jack to lay down. He hesitated for a moment, but slid forward and rested his head on the pillow. I pulled the corner of my throw blanket out from underneath him and spread it over the top of him as he clung to the unopened chocolate sweets. While one hand rested on his shoulder, my other combed his hair back.

“Jack, I want you to listen to me very carefully,” I said, encouraging his attention. “There is not a single person in all of creation who knows you better than your mother did, including me. When she said you were good, she meant it. Before you were born, she knew she wouldn’t survive, but I’ve never met anyone with so much hope in the future, and that was because she knew the future would have you. You’ve got to believe that. You’ve got to cling to that. Okay?” He nodded in response.

“Now, you know I love Dean very much, but that doesn’t mean I always look the other way when he’s being a bonehead. He’s in a lot of pain, and he may blame you, but Jack, it is not your fault.” I looked down to see Jack squeeze his eyes shut, and a tear escaped over his nose and towards the pillow. The sight brought tears to my own eyes, and my voice wavered a bit as I continued speaking to him. “You and I, we’ve both unfairly lost out on things, but I’m glad we have each other. I’m always right here if you need me.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“I love you, kid,” I whispered back.

He kept his eyes closed, and I stroked his hair to sooth him as we both silently cried together. Soon, his breathing became heavier, and his grip on the sweets loosened. I propped the pillow up as I slid out from underneath it and gently laid it back down. He didn’t stir, so I took the chocolate bar and cake out of his grasp and moved them to the nightstand for him to see when he woke. Then, slowly and quietly, I walked to the door, looking back at Jack once more before turning out the light and leaving the door open a crack.

My mind racing, I wandered aimlessly through the bunker, passing bedroom after bedroom, jealous of the others for being able to sleep. I found myself first back in the kitchen, where some beer bottles still stood on the tabletop. I gathered them, emptying the remaining contents out, and tossed them in the trash. I grabbed a wash rag from a drawer and soaked it under warm water from the sink before wringing it out and using it to wipe down every surface in the room for good measure.

If only I could turn back the clock, maybe I could change something, and Jack wouldn’t be falling apart like this. Or maybe I’d know how to help. Or maybe, I could’ve stopped what happened to Mary to give Jack a fighting chance in this family.

I kept wandering, straightening things in a few of the rooms I entered, until finally, I dragged my way into the ‘Dean-cave.’ This room, too, was littered with beer bottles, and I noticed a couple of used plates stacked on top of each other leftover from the pie I had shared with Dean a few nights ago.

Dean.

The all-familiar feeling of fatigue washed over me as my mind reacted to the peaceful thoughts of the elder Winchester. Still slightly upset as I was, I knew the only way I’d get to sleep at a time like this was if I were next to him.

Without bothering to clean up the mess, I turned and found my way back into Dean’s room. He faced the wall and snored lightly, but the light from the hallway helped me see that his shoulders were tensed under his shirt. I sighed and tiptoed toward him, pulling back the covers and sliding into my side of the bed.

Dean’s light snoring halted, and I heard him swallow before taking a single deep breath.

“Sweetheart?” he inquired in a whisper.

“No, it’s Sam,” I joked sarcastically. “Duh it’s me.”

He rolled over and sighed, his hand finding my arm and running his lazy touch up to my shoulder. He moved his thumb back and forth and said, “Hey.”

“Hi,” I greeted in return, shifting closer to him. He wrapped me in a tight embrace and breathed a sigh of relief. 

“You alright, baby?” I asked.

“Better now.”