#i am extremely unfunny as you can see—

[seokmn]

⠀︵⠀STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MOVIES ⠀◌Ⳋ ✧ ── don't you love when you're a player and your crush has to pull out the ‘10 things i hate about you’ card?

pairing: mingyu x gn!reader wc: 1.2k words warnings: mingyu calls reader doll and gorgeous lua's note: happy late bday my sweetie @mi9yuz :))

ᯓ★ "so won't you smile? i'm shooting a movie"

“So it’s a deal.” Mingyu said as he took a bite of your ice cream.

You looked at him in confusion and surprise. “First of all, that was extremely rude. Don’t you ever eat my ice cream again, okay? Second of all, what are you talking about?”

“If you win the match, I’ll ask you to be mine.”

“So,” you take a bite of your cream while looking at him like he made an unfunny joke. “You’re saying that if I win the next game, we’ll become official?”

“That’s right. I mean, not you you, but if your team wins. I’ll finally ask you the question I bet you’re dying to hear.”

You laughed, and Mingyu smiled. “What? You’re about to tell me that you never wanted me asking you to be mine? I’m sure you already imagined me being your boyfriend, I’m such boyfriend material that you can’t help but think how good I’d be to you, am I right?”

He was right. You did imagine him being your boyfriend- countless times if you have to be honest. You really couldn’t help but think how amazing life would be if you had him as officially yours, if you could introduce him to your friends as your boyfriend and not as the famous long pause as if trying to figure out what to say before saying friend.

“I never imagined that I would hope to lose a match so badly,” you held back a smirk, but when you saw that Mingyu was looking at you like a lost puppy, pouting and clinging to your arm, you let out a choked laughter. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Do you hate me that much? Don’t you wanna be mine? My only one, the one I’ll cherish forever and ever?”

“Dramatic, aren’t you?” You took a large bite from his ice cream and stood up before he could even process your past action. “I have to go now, see you later?”

“Whe-where are you going?”

“Practice for the upcoming match. Maybe this match is the most important one of my life so far, but just maybe.”

Mingyu’s expression softened as he sat still on the bench, looking at you with shiny eyes. “Yeah, you really should go practice. I don’t date losers.”

“Noted. See ya!”

“See ya, potential future lover!”

You chuckled and walked away; your heart skipping a beat at the thought of becoming his significant other. You knew that your team had to win that match in a way or another - Mingyu had to be yours, and you had to be his.

When the day had come, you were listening to your coach’s words, but your eyes were fixated on where Mingyu was sitting with his friends. They were holding signs that showed their support for your team, but Mingyu’s sign wasn’t hyping up your team, it was hyping you up. You and you only.

“Did you hear me, Y/N?” Your coach’s voice made you stop looking at Mingyu and his friends, and that was when you noticed all of your teammates looking at you, worried that you weren’t paying attention to his words and could possibly screw up during the match.

“I did, coach. Don’t worry.”

“Alright then, you can do it. Let’s go!”

As the match started, your focus shifted towards the game and you promised to yourself to give your best, maybe even more than your best.

You watched your opponents and tried to guess their next moves, all that while running and helping your teammates out to pass the ball to each other.

During the breaks, you would look at the benches full of people, but your eyes always landed on them - Mingyu and his friends. Those were the only moments when you could hear their shouts, because once the game started again every sound that wasn’t your heartbeat or your teammates and coach’s voices would fade away immediately.

When the match was over, you were exhausted, but extremely happy; your team had won and your dream was about to come true.

You looked towards Mingyu’s direction with a huge smile on your face, only to be met with only his friends that were shrugging his shoulders and shaking their heads while mouthing that they didn’t know where Mingyu was. You frowned and looked around, trying to find him and failing miserably.

Your heart clenched at the thought of him losing the last minutes of the game, losing the announcement that said that your team was the winner.

Some of your teammates hugged you from behind, congratulating you and themselves for winning and you decided to play along. However, everyone’s attention turned to the crowd when they heard shouts:

“Go get her, dude!”

“Y/N, he’s coming for you!”

Not a minute after Mingyu’s friends shouts, you heard a voice on the speaker singing ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’, it was Mingyu’s voice.

You gasped and started to look around, trying to find him. When you did, he was wearing a dark blue suit and striped shirt; he was holding a small bouquet with white roses in one hand and a mic in another. He looked absolutely stunning.

He walked towards you while still singing. People in the crowd were recording and murmuring about the moment, but your focus was only on the boy in front of you, singing that beautiful song to you and making it seem like it was a moment straight out of the movies.

Once he finished the song, your cheeks felt sore from smiling so much. Mingyu put the microphone down on the grass and handed you the bouquet.

“I can’t believe you really did that.”

“Well, I had some lessons with the best, Patrick Verona,” He smirked and took your hand. “So, tell me. Don’t you wanna be my love? The owner of my heart? The reason why I breathe?”

“Are you always that cheesy?”

“Only when it comes to you. So, yes or no?”

“You know I want to.” Your smile got wider, something that you didn’t even know that it was possible.

Mingyu mirrored your smile and leaned forward to kiss you, but you leaned back and placed your hand on his chest. “I’m sweaty and probably stinky, are you sure you want to kiss me right now?”

Mingyu seemed to think about it for a moment. “I remember talking about not dating losers, not about not dating sweaty and stinky yet gorgeous dolls.”

You chuckled. “You’re impossible.”

“That’s why you love me.” He said before pressing his lips against yours and kissing you in a slow pace as you kissed him back.

His friends and some other people started to shout praises at you. It not only seemed like the final scene of a movie, but it felt like one.

When you broke the kiss, he hummed and looked in your eyes. “Yeah, I’m not kissing you after any of your matches again.”

You hit his chest while laughing, making him let you an “ouch” in a mocking way. “I was kidding, I swear! But how about you go take a shower and then we go out, hm? Our first date as a couple.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice. But only if you pay me an ice cream and do not steal bites from it.”

“Now you’re asking too much, you know that your ice cream always tastes sweeter than mine, but I can try to not eat it if it means that much to you.”

[nepenthesremedy]

PEAR

A horror roleplaying game that drags you out of the comfort of your home.

You can’t even be bothered getting out of bed. 

But, somehow, your parents find a way to drag you to a mental health retreat. It’s cute, small, remote... and the perfect place for a cult to operate. 

Without any cellular signal, you’re forced to socialize, touch grass, manage your dwindling supply of medication, and interact with the otherworldly creature the cult worships. All while not going insane.

And no, seeing an inhuman creature does not mean you’re insane.

Have you ever wished that the classic indie horror RPGs—such as Ib, Mad Father, and The Witch’s House—had a bit more lore? Some character development? Maybe a tiny bit more spice? 

No? My bad, maybe it’s just me then... 

But! On the off chance that I am not alone in this, I would like to introduce you to PEAR—a psychological horror RPG with a heavy emphasis on storytelling. It’s inspired by the aforementioned games and the real life Jonestown; the events unfold in the haunting setting of a deceivingly cozy, (mostly) modernized retreat.

Through interactions with various characters—a cult leader, a doctor, a fallen angel, and Cloverwood’s residents—you discover not only the dark secrets festering in this settlement, but also the hidden truths that reside in your own head.

This game can be considered as an interactive visual novel with puzzles, promising horror, angst, and a sprinkle of unconventional romance.

kira is the creator, writer, and general project manager of PEAR. She loves fictional characters who have more red flags than she can count. (Granted, she can only count with her fingers, so that is not saying much.) She is also trying to be mysterious and nonchalant right now but failing miserably as she enjoys yapping too much. 

noodsies is the co-creator and assistant manager. He enjoys watchmaking, fighting games, noodles, and boats. He is shy so he will be rather mysterious and only slightly chalant. 

nemugyo is the lead artist for this game and also a silly fish enjoyer. She is extremely passionate about bear traps. (No further context will be provided.)

StarPaintAnimus is the assistant artist. Liking blue is one of her personality traits. 

bibi is the editor for the game’s script. She’s obsessed with gambling in gacha games and most things pink. 

Sammy is the marketing consultant for this game. He’s spent years gaining unexplainable traction through unfunny social media posts and to top it off, he is also Bri’ish.

All future updates and announcements will continue being posted on this Tumblr account, @nepenthesremedy. (For those who prefer Twitter, you can click here!) If you’re interested in the game, please follow us here! Additionally, any questions or comments about the game can be submitted in the blog‘s asks. 

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking your time to read this post. We appreciate your support for our work very much! ♡

[spiderfunkz]

✦ RING, RING, RING!

"i think i can really fall in love with him."

word count : 0,9k

warnings : fluff, fem!reader, gwen is mentioned to be readers best friend, harry is mentioned as well, cutesy first dates, peter being just so madly in love & so are you. not proofread!

a/n : inspired by that one scene from 'before sunrise' where celine and jesse pretend to call their friends and tell them about each other :)) also i know i'm late to valentines but it's still february sooooo

if you told yourself a few days ago that you'd be spending valentines day with peter parker, you would laugh at the thought of it.

but right now you couldn't laugh at anything but peter's stupidly unfunny jokes and his cheesy, dry, pickup lines.

you couldn't imagine what valentines would be like with peter parker, but you don't have to. you're experiencing it right now.

he had asked you in a way you've only seen in rom-coms from the 90s. he knocked on your door with a ridiculously large bouquet of flowers, a heart shaped box full of chocolate, and a nervous nerdy smile.

and you accepted it obviously. peter's nice. really nice. out of all the boys in your class, he's a gentleman compared to them.

he's got those big brown doe eyes that make you blush if you make eye contact. that weirdly fluffy hair, that makes you wonder what his hair care routine is like sometimes. the sweetest smile you could ever imagine. and a heart bigger than a size of a lake.

and my gosh, you love him.

he made a reservation at this restaurant. one that you've passed by many times but never seem to stop by. you've always thought it was too fancy for a normal hangout with friends or family, it was always crowded with couples too. it always had a jazz band playing, roses on each table, and you could smell the scent of love from outside.

it was everything you've ever dreamed of. you didn't want it to end but unfortunately, the day got darker and the sun began to set.

"i really enjoyed today, peter." you smile.

"yeah of course. i really enjoyed today too." he replied, there was still a splotch of spaghetti sauce near his mouth.

"unfortunate that the hours went by so quickly, i think i have to go home soon." you pout, peter was still smiling, that spaghetti splotch is not going anywhere.

"or maybe we could still talk, for a bit." he paused for a second before making a hand gesture resembling a phone.

"ring, ring, ring!" he mimicked. you furrow your brows.

"pick it up." he stays smiley.

"okay, beep." you laugh, following his gestures.

peter mouths a 'thank you' before continuing, "oh yeah uh, harry? harry are you there?" he asks.

you knew harry, he's peter's closest friend. they're like two peas in a pod and you could never separate them, not even when harry moved away for years.

you join in his little joke. "uh yeah dude, this is harry. dude." you try to mimic his voice.

"yeah, hey harry! do you remember that girl i was gonna ask out for valentines? the really pretty girl from bio class?" his face became pink.

"oh yeah! the really pretty girl. i know her."

"yeah so, she's with me right now and i am just so happy."

"really? how happy?"

"extremely. she's so fun to talk to. she's so incredibly wonderful and i cannot put it into words how beautiful she is. really harry, you were right. she's an angel."

you smile. "really what else? how did the date go?" your voice rasps, clearly you couldn't really perfect the accent harry has. but peter seemed to like it.

"amazing. the food was great, this restaurant is good, i uh- got the reservation in time so everything has been going perfectly.

she's such a ray of sunshine. i can't stop stealing a glance every time, harry. i dunno what's about it, she's just so- perfect."

peter continues. he's doing it on purpose. well, not really, he was going to call harry and say all of those things. but he thinks it's better to tell you face to face. besides, he loves seeing you smile.

you try your best to blurt out a reply without stuttering. "that's um, that's amazing, dude. i bet she feels the same way about you." you could feel the butterflies in your stomach.

"you really think so?" peter tilts his head.

"i'm sure."

"well, thanks harry. i'll see you later, bye bye." he hangs up, mimicking a beep on the table.

you laugh.

"okay now it's your turn."

"my turn? oh, okay." you gesture your hand.

"dring, dring, dring!" you say, "ugh she's probably studying right now." you explain.

peter picks up, in a voice that will haunt you for years. "hey, girl! what is up!" peter laughs.

it took every cell in your body to not burst out laughing in front of everyone in that restaurant. "hi, gwen. is uh- is your voice okay?" you ask.

"better than ever!" — "oh, okay." you hold your laughter. "um, you know peter? peter parker from biology. the one with fluffy hair and pretty eyes?"

peter smiles, he blushes from his nose.

"yeah so, i'm on a date with him right now. and it feels like a dream. he's prettier up close. he styled his hair, yeah, it's pretty. and he's got spaghetti sauce smeared near his lips." you smile.

peter immediately fixes the splotch, finally.

"he's kind of tall. and he's kinda nerdy too. just my type." you cover your smile, "i like to feel his eyes on me when i look away." you continued.

peter smiles, "what a nice guy."

"he really is. as the date goes on i start to like him even more. i feel like i can really open up to him."

"really?"

"mhm. he got me flowers and some chocolate too. he's funny too, he's got a voice i can listen to for hours. he's like a shot of espresso, you know?"

peter couldn't hide his blush anymore. "a shot of espresso?"

"he makes me feel energized in a way, and he also makes my heart beat really fast." you laugh, "i think i can really fall in love with him."

[guilty-gear-hot-take-hellhole]

i think part of the reason why there’s such a big mischaracterization and flanderization problem in the fandom is because of the overlap between the loreheads and the fgc.

let me explain. slander is part of the fgc. pushing an agenda with to defend your main is part of the fgc. my main is lowtier and honest and your main is hightier and no skill. to the common player a character’s lore is nothing but tidbits of information that can be used for slander. so we’re incentivized to pick up the most out of context and unflattering lore to make your look bad.

it gave us these mainstains such as:

“ky fucked a 3 year old”

“sol gorilla”

“baiken players play one handed”

“johnny chaser” etc etc. these aren’t the worse of it

they’ve no interest in examining their mains as characters within the story which is fine. they’re playing the game.

the problem arises when players that do care about the lore and sees their mains as characters within a story take this slander sincerely. taking the agenda as law. or worse, take it as an accurate reflection of the character. so now the character is completely mischaracterizated by the fandom and the agenda has won because we love repeating the same 3 jokes.

it is pathetically easy to spread misinfo about guilty gear characters. lorewise and gameplay because everyone just believes everything. at least with gameplay info you know you’re being fucked with.

what i mean to say is, when unika drops prepare yourselves for the inevitable, “unika chaser,” and “racist future trunks,” and “may cuck chair” strays if she is cracked. or worse even more bridget slander relating to the ambiguity of unika’s age. because the last 12 years and counting of “ky fucked a 3 year old” jokes were hilarious.

tldr: the fgc is painfully unfunny

This is the most I’ve dared venture into this community and from what I hear the tumblr side is the least extreme.

I am afraid of what the boards on 4chan yap about regarding dual rulers

[daydreamvalley]

October Sunsets (2) - nanami kento

𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧Summary: You accidentally stole Nanami’s phone, unaware about the dire situation he is occupied with in Shibuya.

Contents: Anime-only safe. Angst + mentions of extreme bodily injury & death.

Read part 1

11:36 pm. Way to go. Nanami must think I’m an obsessed freak. One that forces situations to happen, so he’d think about me. You thought to yourself if he didn’t think you were clumsy before, he should now. For the past twenty-two minutes you’ve been goggling at his phone, that had already lost power. Yours, however, could be a saving grace right now. Taking it out of your tote bag you texted Shoko, the only colleague at Jujutsu Tech you were acquainted with. The message was split into multiple inane short texts: Hello. I know you guys are busy right now, but please let Nanami know I’m sorry I took his phone! I promise I only realized, like, right now and-

Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping.

Your mother’s contact appeared on your screen, previewing messages that contained videos. She called right before departing to wish you safe travels and the promise of funny videos to help you stay entertained, so you swipe away her texts assuming they were just unfunny skits from somewhere.

Continuing your imploring to Shoko: Please just say that first. That I’m sorry. Also, he can meet me on Monday, November 5th. I’ll return it then fly back to Denmark. Tell him he’ll get lots of pastries and souvenirs! After hitting send, it did register that the last bit of the message was unnecessary, but the nerves of the situation got to you. Going into your mother’s chats, you see an influx of exclamations. “Shibuya is being destroyed!��, “Are you still in the plane?”, “Answer me!!”, “Your uncle sent me this one”, “Please be safe out there, love you”. You watch a low-quality video, hearing your family member’s voice in the background crying out in fear. A plane was being set ablaze mid-air, hurling a loud roar as it dropped from the sky into Shibuya. The tragedy was clear as day, even though the video is taken at night. Highlighting the combusted object. Your hands tremble. Were you safe? Unable to hold the phone upright, you felt like this was wrong to watch. He’s on call, but where? No. stop thinking like that, he’s obviously saving civilians right now. Nanami’s far too competent to be a victim to that destruction. Thumping tortured your head as you catastrophized.

“Miss. Are you feeling ill?” The flight attendant sounded like she was under a body of water. “Hold my hand and follow my breathing.”

The video continued playing, showing a city turning into hell. The lens turned to reveal the shocked faces of people witnessing the horror. It never stopped playing until a pair of hands whisked your device away from a weak grip, then lightly turned your head so you could meet a women’s calm face.

~

8:00 am, November 5th, Monday, Tokyo. You hug Nanami’s blazer tighter against your layered outfit, when then the breeze enters the cafe. A cold gust sings alongside the crackling sounds of an old espresso machine. Elevating the emptiness and lack of conversation in the room. How could anyone start a conversation? It feels like the moment anyone utters a word; we all expect the events of Shibuya to pour out. No one wants to talk about. At least for a little while. Not while the wound is still fresh. In your peripheral you see the screen of a phone turn on, next to you on the leather couch. The red dusk of the sunset on your friends lock screen includes a notification, telling you its fully charged. You unplug and bring it to your face to have a closer at the photo, but the phone unlocks from facial recognition. Taken aback you immediately turn it off, shutting your eyes. You hold a tighter grip on it, because it’s a reminder of how you aren’t ready.

Not yet.

You decide to lean into the couch, to stay longer at the establishment. The jetlag is kicking in and it doesn’t help that you ran into an unwanted conversation with a coworker when you walked in. The one-sided chat consisting of the only depressing topic everyone is taking part in. It left your coffee cold, and now you needed to rest for a bit. If not, you could walk out of the café without a clear mind. Looking either drunk or sleep deprived. Most likely the latter. The insurance company was next door and the possibility of running into more people is a headache. To call your flight back to the city a miracle, would be an understatement. From October 31st, flights coming in and out of Japan were prohibited, just when you desperately needed to come back home. Only five days have passed since the incident.

For four days, you found yourself alternating between locking yourself up in a Denmark-airport hotel, then running around pleading with the airport’s many front desk’s about when you could leave. Not caring if you’d get fired for abandoning your work trip. Your mothers’ yells across the phone would be a comforting reoccurrence, in which she is begging you to stay in Denmark, since the situation was getting worse back home. For four days, only your mother would call, while you unfortunately entertained the thought of your loved one’s death once you came back. Even as you arrive back, the chaos resumes. No warm hugs from a worried family greeted you.

You colleagues were radio silent, dealing with their own grief. Your mother and uncle were evacuated to a different city. Leaving you with one more fear. No sign of Nanami. Shoko didn’t answer your calls from Wednesday to the early mornings of today, until the dreadful call. The call you had with her just one hour ago, which somehow led you to instinctively catch a taxi to this very café.

Just as you settle into drifting asleep, a ring awakens you. It’s coming from your phone. “Shoko”, displayed on the lock screen, and hesitantly you pick up.

“I can see you from here. I’m crossing the light pole to the café entrance.” Shoko says, as you see her tall figure approach, dressed in a lab coat. She stops outside the door to throw her cigarette into a bin. Chimes can be heard as she walks in. You stiffen. Staying seated on the coach, you can’t help but feel nauseous as she walks up to you. She stops above you, striving her best smile. “So quiet in here. Wish it were like this outside.” She gets comfortable next you on the couch. Making sure to observe the blazer as she continues, “You must have been in disarray; your luggage is here.”

You face her in silence, nodding your head in acknowledgement. The two of you stare at each other, competing to see who will address the matter. Inhaling deeply, you try, “Thanks for meeting me here. Why’d- ‘’

You clear your throat to not get choked up. “No.” You straighten your back to speak clearer, “What were you doing when you called me?”

“Sorry?” Shoko inquires, and you stay silent, reading her eyes. “I was…sitting at the park.” She says pointing in the direction behind her, confused.

“So, you weren’t occupied with something urgent or intense?”

“Not really.”

“You didn’t think to wait for my arrival or ask us to meet somewhere. You were just going to causally call me and tell me that “I’m sorry. Nanami didn’t make it”, hang up on me, then leave me to go with the rest of my day!” You shakily burst out.

Shoko looks at you with widened eyes and observes around the room self-consciously. You two were the only customers in the café, now filling the silence. She places her palm on your shoulder, to ease the tension, but you non-aggressively remove it.

“I admit, you didn’t have to hear it that way. I just didn’t know who to call. Everyone was pestering me. They still are and I couldn’t handle it. I only saw your messages yesterday and the burden of telling you the news was too much. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just…a lot.” Shoko was now tearing up. The pressures of her position were breaking her, as each day passed by, with more wounding alerts of her dying colleagues.

You stand up from your spot. “Let’s talk outside, I’m getting dizzy in here.” You respond half-heartedly.

Shoko follows you into the chill winds hoping for a smoother flowing discussion.

“Please, Shoko. Where is he? I know I’m a non-sorcerer so I can’t even enter your facility, but at least tell me-“

“Even if I could. I can’t let you see that- him I mean.”

“That? Shoko help me out here, please! It’s the least you could do. God, this is so unfair.” You lament to her.

“There’s nothing I can do. He’s- its bad. His lower body is the only remaining part we can recover from Shibuya.” Shoko winces and covers her mouth, shocked by her own blunt words.

You bit your lip as tears marked your face. His lower body. Her mechanical way of describing things made sense in her occupational context, but this was too harsh. With staggered breaths you ask, “Where is he?” You ache as you reiterate. You now know the answer. He was still in there. That hell. It was never a possibility in your mind. Nanami not making it back home. While the world just begun to know about sorcery after the massacre, it wasn’t unfamiliar to you. In detail, he’d go over his workday like it were any other mundane job. The stories of the students he so greatly cared for, the loss of his dearest friend in high school, and all the dangers of the mystique of this world he was in. Never, did you imagine you’d have to worry about his potential death. In his eyes, he is someone who simply strives to do the best he can. You wish he could see himself in your eyes.

Jujutsu Sorcerers are shit. He’d boldly reaffirm that to you with sunken eyebags, every time you two would talk about your workday in the café. Yet, he never left sorcery. Everyday you’d be reassured of how hard-working he really is. That same attitude that you admire in him, is one of the many traits that made you want to be a permanent part of his life. Whether he accepted your affections or not, wasn’t the point, everyone deserves to have such a dependable force in their life. Now, you cannot accept that this is happening.

“I understand him now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I hate how the higher-ups do things. What’s happening right now is showing their true colors.”

“You can do unimaginable things compared to most doctors. The ability to reserve techniques, right? That’s what Nanami told me.” You ask her, not expecting a response. Maybe this was a way for you to cope with the fact that even people as powerful as her can’t fix everything.

“Yes. I know there’s nothing I can do to make you feel better. I can’t even begin to tell you why we can’t save the rest of his body right now. I don’t want to hurt you more. I know how much you mean to him, it’s only right that I informed you.”

You chuckle at her words, “The damage has already been done. No?”

She looks to the ground in defeat. Agreeing that nothing was going to assist the emotional affliction.

“You want to know what hurts more? Is that I’ll never know why. You could try to explain it to me, though I doubt you would. Still, I’m too far removed from it all. I don’t want to know who did it, or what.” Wiping your face, you make your back the door, “I’m sorry for raising my voice at you. Take care.” Not looking back, you head straight for the bathroom. Hiding yourself in one of the stalls, you drop down to your knees. One hand on the stall wall, as the other opens the toilet seat while you begin to hurl. His lower body is still there. It’s an unsettling scene. You hurl and cry simultaneously. The chronic exhaustion was making a physical appearance, yet the object of your sorrow was thinking about how tired he must have been. Meeting his end, without getting to grow old, but by the pressures of his sorcery.

~

7:00 pm, November 12th, 2018, Kuantan, Malaysia. The ocean sends shimmering beams of light into your bedroom. You sit on your bed in a daze, taking in your flat’s perfect view of the ocean’s peaking sunset across the horizon. Now it’s been twelve days since the Shibuya massacre and the beginning of a new era of havoc. Other than frequent check-ins with family, you haven’t spoken to anyone else since your last conversation with Shoko. Most of all, you won’t bother yourself with the current events taking place in Shibuya. This isn’t a retreat. You were abandoning your duties to escape, with the illusion of closure. It made you worse. Your way of grieving is running away to the place Nanami raved on about. Where is the closure?

“Jujutsu Sorcerers are shit.”

His words echo when you think about home, but not in a negative way. You just can’t help but recollect these words because they represent your overall memory of him. Nanami always had this weird way of saying bold and sometimes controversial statements but in a well-mannered way. You miss his politeness. How much of a gentleman he was to you and all women around him. You miss the safety. You loved knowing that your coworkers thought he was boring and uptight, because with you the formalities would drop, and you’d be left breathless from his jokes. You would give anything to hear his dry jokes again. You loved knowing that you saw that side of him. When he was not burnt out by work and had the energy to send you two out and about in town to shop, try food, or take aimless walks in the city. You love him, and he will never know.

I think I’m ready.

You grab Nanami’s cream-white blazer from next to you, to take out his phone. He trusted you enough to be another recognizable face on his device. Claiming he had nothing to hide and whatever he had on it most likely was cleaner than yours. You only used this privilege to take pictures of yourself and make it his wallpaper. Every now and then, those same pictures of you would remain on this lock screen. You think back to when you asked him if he wasn’t worried his sorcerer friends would ask who you are, then he’d reply that they wouldn’t ask, because they already know you. Such memories now cross your mind. That comfortability is now missing.

You used to doubt your importance to him. Having each other’s extra apartment keys and phone passwords was not enough for you. When his reason for these two instances was to ensure you both have someone to depend on in case of emergencies, your mind was clouded with romance. You face the front camera to unlock the phone, revealing a typical home screen. Organized and easy to navigate. Since you’ve been in possession of it you never opened it. Where would you even begin. What was the point. Would you forget him that quickly without his phone? His camera roll consisted of you, screenshots of songs, meals and a substantial number of sunsets. Chime. A reminder displays on his screen. It has two exclamation marks indicating it is high priority. Deciding you didn’t want to go into his apps anyway, you read the reminder:

Send the birthday message on notes tomorrow!!

Tomorrow is your birthday. Without thinking you navigate to the notes. You scroll down completed grocery lists and to-do lists to reach one note titled, “Her birthday plans”. In bullet points he writes: Returns from work trip November 12th. Haneda Airport. Plan A, surprise flowers? Cook dinner for her at my place (might seem pushy if she doesn’t feel that way)?

If Plan A fails, aquarium. Obsessed with stingrays. Early Christmas presents! Christmas plans?

Weeps escape your mouth as you read the notes. These notes started to make you feel less insignificant to him than you thought you before. You didn’t just lose Nanami. You lost a potential future of longer city walks, Christmas dinners, and more nonsense-bred conversations. His relatives probably don’t know what has happened. You may have felt unimportant in the midst of his complex and action-filled life, but this circumstance would force you to introduce yourself to his family in the worst way. You aren’t merely an ex-coworker. You are his dependable companion and friend during an emergency. Those emergencies may be mundane compared to the danger he faced daily, but he still trusted you to follow through.

How would you introduce him to your mother? If he was also merely the ex-coworker her daughter hangs out with. Can she understand this profound grief?

You hang around the note app, noticing one more titled, “For her.”

There is no one else more deserving of delighting in this day than you. You tell me you do not care much for today, which I understand the reasons, but I am grateful for another year of you. Every time you feel like abandoning it all because you’re so tired I want you to remember your birthday. Yes, a reminder of the gift of time. When it all becomes too exhausting for you, there is my door. Waiting for its only other owner to arrive when she’s ready.

We are becoming so much more. I sometimes wonder if I carry this desire of wanting to become more with you, a bit more than you. With the gift of time, I will try to express my feelings better.

You bring ease to those of us around you. You are lovelier and more perfect than tranquil seas. A calming force which the drifting autumn leaves cannot try to compete with.

I love you. Wholeheartedly.

You hug at the blazer on your lap. Staining it with tears. Picking up your cellphone to walk to your bedroom balcony, opening the camera app, you hope. As you take an image of the rosy horizon, you hope. You hope that these memories won’t become such a painful occurrence in the future. With every passing day, signs of a day turning into evening would make it difficult for you to forget him.

The end! I'm sorry like really sorry. I wanted to see a realistic story depicting the aftermath of his death but I couldn’t find any. So I wrote it??

I have a happy story in mind if anyone is up to read it<3

Taglist for the sweethearts who were looking forward to to this: @akstormm @rain-moto @salimahbicharara-comun 💕

[physalian]

Some things to consider when being friends with someone who is autistic

Dislcaimers~ I do not speak for all of us, and it is an incredibly wide and ambiguous spectrum and any number of other neurodivergencies and personal history impacts somebody’s worldview. This is not some step-by-step, catch-all guide here, it’s just things I wish people knew and appreciated about me that I’ve also noticed in other autistics.

1. For some of us, cancelled plans aren’t just about having to reschedule

We get it, shit happens, raincheck. For me, at least, if I have something scheduled, at any point in the day, I am mentally preparing for that event from the moment I wake up. I need my plan, I need the right headspace for socializing, and yeah, I’m getting excited.

So a cancelled or rescheduled plan isn’t just disappointment, it’s a complete waste of all that mental effort. I’m getting better about not taking things like this so personally, but that mental effort “prep work” isn’t really within my control.

Suggestion? The canceller bears the responsibility of at least the attempt at rescheduling.

2. We’re not lacking in emotional intelligence, rather, some of us don’t see why certain things are necessary or important

Or, in the words of Nick Fury “I recognize that the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.” Some behaviors that we encourage as a society are some stupid-ass decisions. Like, laughing at an unfunny/harmful joke so you don’t look like the weird, odd-one out.

Other things, like for me, are things like comforting someone with “it’ll all be okay” or “it’ll get better”. That ain’t a promise I can make or enforce, and hearing those words never makes me feel better. I comfort people by making or doing things for them. That, to me, is helping. Lying because those are the words I’m supposed to say gives me an Error 404 message.

A lot of us also feel things so intensely, all the time, that we’re overly receptive to all the shit that’s happening in the world and have to approach it with some thick walls up, lest we just… curl up in a ball as a perpetually sobbing mess. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I can either act indifferent, or I can destroy my whole week fixating on it, and Problem Of The Day isn’t worth the latter.

3. Some of us are “feelers” and some of us are “thinkers”

I’m the latter, and what this means for me is that I have my little mental rubrics for how a given person with a given “role” in a given setting are supposed to act, including myself. So when I’m met with an argument where my opponent’s basis for their opinion is “because I feel like I’m right” it means absolutely nothing to me, when I’m armed with evidence and hard logic.

I’m not a robot and I do have my passionate emotions-blinded opinions just like everyone else, but I do try to recognize that my opinions are opinions and not absolute fact. “Feelers” can still be on the spectrum, and are the complete opposite. Logic means jack-shit, it’s how they feel, overwhelmingly, and nothing anyone can say or do will matter, logic be damned. Both of us can come across as obnoxious and narrow-minded.

4. “Thinkers” might look a lot more permissive than those clinging to morality

I don’t have any other way to phrase that, righteousness is exhaustingl. What I mean by this is that you aren’t going to sway me on somebody being a “bad person” that we should cancel or boycott or never interact with because they made one bad decision. Death of the author/artist, whatever. I’m going to appreciate their work independent of them as a person.

A string of bad decisions and repeat behavior that they ardently defend and that colors their work is a different matter.

Which also means that I have an extremely high tolerance for dead doves and “squick”, if it’s well-written and makes me think. I don’t give a damn about the intentions of the author or whatever moral transgressions might be happening within the piece when morality is relative and it's fiction. Is the book/fic/piece of art cohesive and doing the job it set out to do? Yes? Great, good work, thumbs up, I’m not the target audience, moving on. **Obligatory fuck the p*dos because of this hellsite, yes I have moral standards, they're just a lot lower and open-minded because art**

5. There are “everything has nuance” autistics and “everything is black and white” autistics

I’m the former. My mindset is kind of like… working with the knowledge that I am not all-knowing (more of an atheistic, scientific perspective) and that there are no absolutes, that everything can have an exception and be an outlier. With that assumption, I don’t handle “X is definitively and irredeemably wrong under all circumstances” or “Y is always good no matter what under all circumstances” well at all. I will usually have a “but” to object with, even if that makes me a devil’s advocate.

Others are not like this. Once they have a rule for how the world works, no matter where it comes from, everything has to get crammed into that rule no matter how distorted it gets. I don’t really understand this mindset so I don’t have much to say on it.

There isn’t much in the no-man’s-land between us.

6. Most of us tend to have an incredibly robust sense of injustice

However, what we deem as an injustice varies wildly, because we’re not a monolith.

Me? Well, I’m atheistic, queer, a woman, and lower-middle class. I am loathe to let the privileged get away with shit and will never forget the slights someone made (even if I’d like to, grudges are exhausting). I had a manager during covid who brushed it off saying we’d be back at work in 2 weeks’ time. I saw him over a year later and the very first thing I said to him was “remember that time you said we’d be back to work?” He was a dick.

Wherever we draw our lines, we draw them deeply and get very distressed when those lines are crossed. It’s something I frankly think we all should work on, but it’s not learned, it just is.

7. We get misinterpreted. Constantly.

I don’t have an explanation for this, and conversing in online spaces over text isn’t helping the issue, but I think it lies in our incredibly strong perceptions of our intentions that should, because they make sense to us, be adopted and accepted by everyone else.

Which is not how the world works.

Either way, neurodivergent or not, you can’t hope to control a) how others see you or b) how others think. State your opinions, hope that they’re respected, but if hearts can’t be swayed, it might not be a failure of your ability to communicate, it’s just how it is.

But with that tends to come panic and extreme care, and frustration, when this shit keeps happening. What might be an innocuous miscommunication to you might be their 5th one this week and it is so not about this moment.

8. What is immediately important to us is important, period.

I’m trying to unlearn this myself, but what I mean is, with the example of my cousin: He loves video games, with a very unhealthy dependency on them, hours and hours doing nothing but scream at PVP. When he wants money for a new DLC or something, it is the most important task in the entire world until it is complete. He will use any means necessary, no matter how dangerous or sketchy, to get what he wants. If he doesn’t get his way, he has a meltdown.

I don’t react with quite that much intensity, but I do have things where I’ll fixate on a new project I want to start, like crafts, and it will not leave my mind until I go to the store, drop a bunch of money on supplies and start crafting. Even if that means being physically twitchy to leave an event or gathering because I need my crafts right fucking now. I just try not to make that everyone else’s problem.

We’re not trying to insult you if we’re distracted. Please understand that.

9. Conversations that aren’t immediately in front of us are less important

I hate phone calls. I hate them. I do not do well having to engage with someone, for hours, that I cannot see. When they’re not physically in my space, that leaves not enough of my mind tied up. I want to talk to them, but also be doing something that I deem productive, but because I have to actively talk to them, I have to stay aware and on top of the conversation, which is frustrating.

Idk how to describe this feeling other than feeling like wasted time, because a phone conversation makes it very hard to multitask and leaves me understimulated. Texting is different, I think, because it forces my hands and eyes to also be engaged, not just my voice.

Don’t think this is everyone but boy do I wish some relatives understood that 3 hours on the phone is hell.

10. Some of us might see relationships as more transactional than emotional

Going back to the thinkers vs feelers and social rubrics. In some social circles, bullshitting and brown-nosing is the name of the game. Nobody actually cares, you’re all using each other, it’s all understood that every act is done expecting something in return.

The problem can sometimes lie in being unable to leave certain social scripts at the door when entering a different environment. None of this, I implore people to understand, is a conscious effort.

I might be able to see nuance in philosophy, but finding the line between “everybody is supposed to be inauthentic, I am socializing properly” and “time to drop the ruse we’re being honest here to socialize properly” can be mighty difficult.

For me, also, growing up being told constantly that whatever emotional hurt I experienced from a relative was irrelevant because “we’re family” learning “people use each other we don’t actually care, we’re doing this out of obligation” is a very, very old social script I have, that is very, very hard to make exceptions to.

11. We are not one size fits all

I have a cousin who is also on the spectrum, and to a layman on the street, stick us side by side and say “find the autistic” they’re going to point to my cousin every single time. He’s *visibly* autistic. He’s loud, violent sometimes, eschews social norms, and, by and large, only cares about what he wants and getting what he needs as quickly as possible, others’ lives and feelings be damned.

But, when he’s not under the pressure of a crowd to perform along his own social scripts, he’s pretty mellow. He’s smart and can have very deep conversations, a completely different person, when you have him for one-on-one time. That’s not the side of him any stranger sees.

We are both on the spectrum, though, and because there are people like my cousin, because I’m more “normal,” when I say “I’m autistic please be kind” I get regarded with scorn and skepticism, because I don’t act autistic enough. Nobody wins.

—

Hope this helps some allies? Bottom line: It is called the autism spectrum disorder. We do not choose to be this way, and we don’t behave this way on purpose to spite you, disrespect you, or belittle you. 100%, social skills can be learned and leaning on the “I’m autistic, I don’t need to put in the effort to learn common decency” crutch isn’t healthy.

This list is just an effort to explain (while praying that I’m not misinterpreted) where some of the subtler signs of autism pop up. None of this was a "I am right and flawless and here's my 11 point thesis on why," an accusation of which I've been hit with recently. This is how I think, and maybe by posting this, I'll find I'm not alone.

So just. Before you presume malintent, from your in-person friends or strangers on the internet, consider that we might have absolutely no idea that we’ve done something wrong until somebody starts screaming at us.

[cruesuffix]

hey anon here!!! im quite not sure how i can even express myself over this, because i know i am a hugeeee fan of mick trust me and i love and adore that fella a lot, but! however.. there was evidence of him sayin he likes 13 year olds…. now im kinda in shocked that i read that somewhere out there, i don’t accept the things he’s done or said especially when he said he’d give an 11 yr old a bath…. that just makes me wanna throw all the bad stuff away but! i know mick wasnt as.. innocent ? i have zero clue i do love mick mars and i do know he has a wicked sense of humor… but.. has he ever done anything bad at all? i’m tryin to learn more about this man and it’s hard when he’s a mystery man 🥀

hi anon! ok i will say at first i was like “what interview were you reading” and then it started sounding familiar and i realized this all comes from this interview:

*i will say something. this ain’t me condoning or excusing anything. when i first read this interview… in all honesty, i wondered if the magazine got the names wrong. there were certain things said by certain band members that i thought didn’t sound like something they would say at all. this was an interview from VERY early in their careers and i wouldn’t be surprised if the interviewer or the editor didn’t know who was who. like for example; when (apparently) mick makes a comment about living in the motley house with tommy and nikki I thought to myself, “well it was vince who lived there with the terror twins, not mick.”

so, that being said: please take this interview with a grain of salt. this is also the same interview where they make pretty gay ass comments about each other. it was very much a joke though jokes they really shouldn’t have been making (ESPECIALLY YOU NIKKI!!). if it was mick making those jokes (which for reasons i’ve just given i very much doubt), he ain’t shit for that and should have just sat in the corner like he usually does!

as for if he actually did that kind of stuff… FUCK NO. you can call me biased but i’m going off of information i’ve read and know about the band. many people have said mick wasn’t really into the groupies who hung around the band (who were all probably underage). plus, he never really hung around the band a lot. the band themselves would say they wouldn’t see mick until it was time to record an album. he was a recluse. sure, he probably went to bars and such, but if he was gonna fuck a woman… they were most likely women. like, yes he’s had a couple of girlfriends that were younger than him… that’s another story in of itself, but they were still adults.

once again, this isn’t me defending what he said (if it was him that said it), but just to explain that while those comments are disgusting (from the whole band at that too!), they were jokes. unfunny, entirely weird jokes. you know, i have a feeling they mixed mick and nikki up because there’s no way this silent ass man is suddenly the most talkative out of all of them. like, the reason you don’t know much about mick, anon, is because he doesn’t do interviews. he’s an extremely private person and for most of the eighties press and magazines would joke about him being a recluse.

(edit: yeah they definitely mixed up mick and nikki. so really, it was nikki who was making jokes about 13 year olds not mick. makes sense when you think about nikki and his history with being weird towards minors. ANYWAYS, sorry this interview is so confusing!! ofc this doesn’t mean mick was the innocent one… my god that guy is crazy! just like all of them. i just wanted to clear this up cause i personally don’t think mick’s the type of be this weird around minors. ofc i don’t know the guys personal life so i can’t automatically assume things but… yeah.)

[thegeminisage]

ok, now that i've watched all of tos (none of the movies yet...) i am going to do the top ten worst and best episodes, according to Me. they are as follows:

WORST EPISODES

10. the savage curtain - idk who thought putting abe lincoln in a cage match with the vulcan version of ghandi against like, ghengis khan and space hitler would be a good idea. but it wasn't. i did like seeing the vulcan father of logic though like "im gonna go sacrifice myself for peace" ok king

9. i, mudd - all of the mudd episodes are bad. he's not charming at all whatsoever. however, this one is better than the other one because uhura gets to pretend to sell out kirk and they're SOOO cute about it. her little giggle when he PICKS HER UP BY HER SHOULDERS and tells her how proud he is. PLEEEEASE

8. charlie x - the entire premise of this episode is that the bad guy is just autistic. and then they make him live on a planet without people because he can't adjust to normal life ???

7. shore leave - obvious racism of this episode aside, the faux-irish jig that played while kirk was being menaced by his extremely unfunny old bully nearly drove me over the edge. we DO love a good mccoy death fakeout tho

6. a piece of the action - if i had any interest in gangster films before this it's all gone now. that being said. i loved when kirk drove the little car. he was so bad at it. he was so happy.

5. mudd's women - like he's literally just selling women?? and the plot twist is that secretly they're ugly?????

4. who mourns for adonias - this is just "what if ALIENS build the pyramids bro" except for the 1960s. nail in the coffin for this one was kirk proudly declaring they didn't needs gods - because they already had the One God, thank you very much!

3. the paradise syndrome - WHY WOULD YOU HAVE NATIVE AMERICANS MISTAKE KIRK FOR GOD. WHY. like i know why but Why. i think the very worst part of this episode was that it had an amnesia plot that would have FUCKED if you had simply removed the people. if there hadn't been people in this it would've been in my top 10 episodes. i think this broke me.

2. the omega glory - this is the same as the last episode except there's no amnesia, and also the "native americans" are white cosplayers who worship the american flag and mistake kirk for god because he can recite the pledge of allegiance yes really. if i had a nickel for every time this happened i'd only have two nickels etc etc at least kirk didn't knock anybody up in this one ig

1. patterns of force - why would you make your two jewish leads wear swastikas and then literally be whipped by nazis. i know he's such a bad person but not even william shatner deserves that. number one worst episode everyone says it's omega glory but it's this one

BEST EPISODES

10. plato's stepchildren - this episode is hard to rank because like it's both good and bad. the torture scenes were genuinely upsetting, especially the ones at the end w/ spock & nurse chapel, because they weren't just violence being inflicted on tied up guys, but they were SUPPOSED to be upsetting, like it was literally the point. and also this episode bears the distinction of THEEE kirk & uhura kiss. literally historic.

9. the trouble with tribbles - i feel like everyone's heard of this but it really is as good as everyone says. sometimes 1960s humor doesn't translate to 2020s humor but it was genuinely hysterical start to finish. also, the distinct trilling sound was so imprinted in my brain i recognized it in the 2009 movie where i had never registered it before.

8. the naked time - aside from the KING SHIT george takei pulled with the fencing this episode also contains the "i am in control of my emotions [sobbing]" moment and kirk & spock LITERALLY having a slapfight. this episode has everything. an absolute masterpiece

7. the empath - i feel like this paired with "the world is hollow and i have touched the sky" really made me a Bones Understander. i feel a little bad about that bc everyone says the characterizations in s3, or actually that the season as a whole, is kinda shaky? but i watched without knowing that and i feel like i Get It now. also, this was the only score i went and relistened to on spotify

6. tholian web - the spock & mccoy episode ever. there's so many things to say about this from the death fakeout to kirk's little space suit but what TRULY got me was the instant and totally nonverbal agreement to lie straight to kirk's face to both preserve personal dignity and troll the shit out of him (while chekov and sulu are like also silently laughing as they listen in no less). what this episode made me realize was that it's a good thing they argue all the time and make kirk play referee because if they were on the same side kirk wouldn't stand a chance. like he'd be finished.

5. the city on the edge of forever - ok, so, this episode made me feel like i was having a mental break. the time travel. spock's little hat. when he watches kirk kiss edith and then goes back into their room to pretend he didn't see anything. mccoy and kirk basically hugging at the end when edith bites it.

4. requiem for methuselah - the first time i watched this i was kinda like :/ because how does kirk fall in love with a woman in FOUR HOURS? that aside the ending scene blew my tits clean off. i paced around my house for like 30 minutes going "what the FUCK was that" because i couldn't simply lie down and sleep after seeing it. rewatching the episode with uh. new context made me like it a little better. but even if it had been garbage the last scene shook me so thoroughly it would still need to be on this list. i'm getting wound up just thinking about it. number one most shocking tos moment.

3. the dagger of the mind - look, i understand that this episode was technically just run-of-the-mill stuff as far as everybody else is concerned but they put james t kirk in a little brainwashing machine. and the machine was shaped like a chair. and it gives people amnesia sometimes. i don't know how i'm expected to behave normally

2. this side of paradise - this is the episode where a flower jizzes on spock and gives him feelings. and look: it's really funny, and there's a lot to love about it. but the ending where kirk hurls verbal abuse at spock for a solid 92 seconds WITHOUT STOPPING followed by: spock beating the shit out of him until he gets his logic back. i have rewatched this perhaps 1,000 times at minimum. what the fuck were they doing

1. conscience of the king - this episode got me into this mess. i don't think i can elaborate further without significant self-incrimination. let's just say what happened was i thought "oh i'll just watch this one tos episode for context for the fanfiction" and one month later i'm writing fic about [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

ok, that's my list. i thought about doing honorable mentions for episodes that had scenes i liked even though the overall episode didn't make it into my top 10. but then i realized that would mean recapping basically the entire series and this post is already too long. i do have to give the pon farr episode a shoutout though because even though so much of it was offputting there was literally a titty window in kirk's shirt. like, it's the pon farr episode. ok NOW i'm done

[avatar-legends-confessionblog]

I've come to vent about my relationship with Rozin of all things. I must warn that this is NOT anti Rozin confession! There's literally nothing wrong with this ship, but...

For a long time I thought it was the only genuinely good and interesting ship out of all ATLA and LOK ships. Despite having little to no screen time, I was nevertheless hooked by Roku's and Sozin's dynamic. And how could I not? Childhood friends turned into bitter enemies with all the angst and heartbreak it entails? *chief kiss* Rozin just had that kick that other ships didn't have to me. I mean it in the nicest way possible, but everything just felt bland and boring in comparison. Most likely because I'm a drama queen who loves screwed up stuff. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin WORSE, I would add things that didn't happen in canon, that would NEVER happen in canon, that would plunge those two into a new dark abyss I made just for them. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin BETTER, I would give Roku and Sozin a chance to reconcile, to learn from one another, to finally have a relationship they couldn't have in canon. I would come up with crazy AUs, one of them even became a baseline for my main crossover story.

I mean it genuinely that this ship was IT for me. And it was like that for 5 years...

Until it just... Wasn't anymore.

The overall ATLA fandom, unfortunately, doesn't share my sentiment. The arts and fics and hell even meta posts that would examine Roku and Sozin's relationship was extremely rare. All those things I did with Rozin privately ? That was basically all that I had. I kid you not, Rozin felt more like a fandom joke, than an actual ship. The ship tag was clogged with the same repetitive "haha, Roku and Sozin were exes" "haha, Roku and Sozin were gay" shit. A joke that was repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. With no changes, no new punchline. It was funny the first couple of times, then it lost the punch, then it became annoying and then... those jokes became enraging. I was becoming SICK of them.

I would much rather have there be no new Rozin posts, than the ship tag being cluttered with. the. same. shitty. unfunny. repetitive. joke. At least the lack of content would motivate me to actually share the AUs and hcs I made in private. It would be a challenge, a drive. But, the fandom is dead set on seeing them as "just angsty exes, lol".

Oh, but that's not why I decided to write here. You know what I'm about to say. The upcoming Roku centric book, that, of course has scenes that are almost hand-crafted to pander to Rozin shippers.

I know I should be excited. I should be happy. My ship is finally getting attention! Getting official interaction since, what? Over a decade of NOTHING?

But, I felt nothing.

At first.

Then, when I realized that I felt nothing I felt... rage? Sadness? Despair?

I used to LOVE Rozin. What happened? I should be excited. Why am I not?

It has been 5 years of that. Of Rozin being worse than nothing. Not even a ship, but an inside joke among ATLA fans. I would've been fine if the book interactions contradicted my hcs, I would just make new ones or change the old ones a little. But, I got tired. At this point, I feel nothing for the ship. Maybe annoyance. I definitely think I don't like it now. And it's sad. It's almost tragic.

I love Roku and Sozin as characters. And I used to love shipping them, as another way to explore and study them as characters. But now, I think, I will just block Rozin tag and dismiss any ship context if I do happen to start posting my ATLA fan art again and people would ask of I shipped them or not. I don't. Not anymore. If you really want a ship content with them, well, I suppose I have my OC x Roku ship, but, I'm certain no one would be interested in that, so I'll just keep it to myself.

Sorry for the long rant. Sorry that it sounds so dramatic or pathetic. But, I feel better after writing everything here. Maybe I can finally leave this all behind.

X

[kalena-henden]

Destined With You Final Thoughts

THE GOOD

Rowoon - Every new role I see him in (Extraordinary You and Tomorrow), I feel like he's grown leaps and bounds as an actor. Here he got to be literally be EVERYTHING. He was an arrogant emotionless jerk, a lovesick puppy who says the cutest most ridiculously things, a serious no-nonsense professional who's great at his job, a man struggling with his feelings and choices, a devoted protective lover, gutted and sobbing over life or death circumstances, respectful patient attentive boyfriend, an impulsive and passionate lover. I know we say ALL THE EMOTIONS sometimes but he literally when through them all.

Jo Bo Ah - Hongjo was a hard character for me because she was so passive and let everyone walk all over her again and again. Her saving grace is she always stood up to Shinyu and eventually learned to stand up to those around her. I could easily be annoyed with this character if it was played by a less competent actress.

Ha Joon - I enjoyed his turn as a suave lawyer who's actually a total dork in his personal life so much so that I started watching his new 50-episode family drama, Live Your Own Life, where he's finally the male lead with his own romance. Jaekyung came as Hongjo's sage guide when she needed him and happily exited when she was settled. Honestly, not a bad arc for a SML.

Shinyu's mom, Shinyu's lawyer friend, Hongjo's Landlady, Uram and his grandfather, and Shinyu's assistant - These characters were alot of fun and added to the depth of the story. I wish we had actually gotten more development from them which would have filled out this story a bit better.

Symbolism & Magic - This show is rife with well thought out symbolism. Love all the flower/plant stuff around Hongjo (Bloom) and Shinyu (Groot) equating to a blossoming and thriving relationship. The magic is actually pretty well explained and is there if you're interested in it.

THE BAD

Dropping the Magic Halfway Through - I am EXTREMELY disappointed in a show billed as a FANTASY ROMANCE that went to painstaking care to introduce the spells and curses to be like oops! don't care if the spells worked or not but we kinda care if the big curse is real cause we want to keep Shinyu in perpetual danger. Like I have ZERO respect that the FANTASTY aspect was dropped (and no the reincarnation plotline doesn't count). I feel hoodwinked and things make even less sense now. It's basically a JJ Abrams Mystery Box level of non-sensical bulls*t which is one of the main reasons I stopped watching most Western shows. It also leaves MASSIVE holes about how and why the Gardener and Nayeon started working together as well how did they learn about and come to believe the curses would even work. It was just she's a backstabbing two-faced bully and he's an insane murderer but zilch on their motivations. I really wanted a mini-montage of the black magic curses that were so well foreshadowed. I'm unsure if this was a writing call or directing call because in Korea the directors have final edit rights, not the writers. What got left on the cutting room floor?

Hongjo's coworkers - Why were they so terrible and unfunny the entire time? They were also irrelevant to the plot. The only good thing was her boss stopping the others from bullying Hongjo. It wasted time that could have been given to the side characters l liked (see above).

Noble Idiocracy & Repetitive Danger - I'm not sure which is worse that they repeatedly put themselves in danger time after time (even when bad things kept happening to them) or they broke up or stayed apart for the other person's 'benefit'. *face palm* If it was a great story, I can forgive some of this but...

The Pacing/Editing - If they had done a big reveal of the magic and other stuff at the end that really brought things to a climax, I would be like yeah it was slow at points but look at the payoff! Instead, I'm looking back at this going, if this is the story you wanted to tell, it could use a serious overhaul in HOW it was told. Even though there was stuff I liked about this drama, I wasn't that emotionally invested.

VERDICT

I would only recommend watching this to see Rowoon act his heart out and be in a ridiculously cute and sexy romance. That's it.

I'm sad because I really loved deep diving into this show. It could have been so much more like Goblin, Doom At Your Service, or Alchemy of Souls.

[eggcheeseham-ster]

I love RyuTeru since I was a child (11 years old) I'm glad to find another artist who likes it, Could you give me your Headcanons? I'd like to see what you think about them.

Pardon my language but holy fuck I thought I'd never find anyone else that likes it as much as me 😭. had to do a double take when I read the ask I legit thought I was hallucinating - anyway! I rmbr having posted some hcs about them before but I'm too lazy to dig it up so I'll dump it here

(bonus tobio and tetsuya crumbs i like to think the 4 of them as a happy friend group):

They are both early birds, but sometimes they sleep in on weekends. 

Teru drinks coffee and Ryutaro drinks tea. Ryutaro dislikes the strong, bitter taste of coffee even when there's a shitload of creamer in it (once Ryutaro made Tobio drink tea and he added soda in it).

Teru enjoys spoiling his loved ones.. Ryutaro often tells him to not spoil him too much. I like to think when they form a family in the future Teru is the parent that drags the entire (reluctant)  family out for shopping.

Whenever Teru falls sick, Ryutaro would use aromatherapy to ail his symptoms such as fragrant incense and essential oils.

Whenever Ryutaro falls sick Teru makes him soup. Granted it's canned soup but it's the thought that counts (i hc teru being an awful cook more lr8)

Teru is absolutely the one that gives really cheesy nicknames and it makes Ryutaro cringe to high heaven. But he tolerates it because he likes seeing Teru smile :) 

Teru is extremely soft (literally). He takes damn good care of himself I just know his hair is soft. Bedtime cuddles are also soft. I can imagine his sleeping robes are super comfy.. Ryutaro has to compete with everyone else for hugs :(

Teru has a sweet tooth and enjoys cafe hopping. Fluffy pancakes with LOTS of maple syrup, ice cream waffles, sundaes etc. The things he orders are enough to give Ryutaro a heart attack, so he just sticks to drinks. Give him a break, his entire diet is just rice and grilled fish. 

Among the dss trio I'd feel like Ryutaro is the least petty but he can be extremely petty when it comes down to it. Whenever he's mad at Tobio and Tetsuya he'd let Teru be in charge of dinner. No one has the heart to say no when they see Teru's eyes light up in joy as he brainstorms recipes to try out.

Both of them are really good at makeup and self care. They do each other's makeup and hair. They also spend an ungodly amount of time in the bathroom. You want to hang out with these two? Waiting time is 2 hours.

Teru is the one to initiate dates and plans them. Their first couple of dates are the usual restaurant/mall/movie dates. But when Teru learns of Ryutaro's dislike of crowds they move their dates to more outdoorsy locations, like parks.  

Ryutaro can be dense. He doesn't pick up on flirting or pick up lines. I feel like the same goes with jokes they fly by over his head and you need to explain the joke to him, which instantly makes it unfunny and awkward.

Tobio and Tetsuya are the perpetual unfortunate third wheelers. They get it, they're single. Can Ryuteru stop holding hands and looking at each other?? They didn't sign up for this.

I can imagine Ryuteru travelling together after battle bladers for a while before bumping into Tobio and Tetsuya randomly. Tobio thinks they're just besties,, until he sees them holding hands and his brain explodes. Mostly from the fact that he can't believe this fortune telling weirdo got on with someone. Someone so pretty in fact??

Tetsuya is usually in his world most of the time and at first he doesn't realise he's third wheeling. But after he catches on he'd be sick of their bs after a while.

Teru would be super sweet to the two,, he'd be very patient with tetsuya and listen to him rambling about his crab friends.. The crabs like Teru as well :) 

I am so deep into delulu that I gave them a fankid. he doesn't have a name actually I just call him blue baby because he's just a mini ryutaro. absolutely nothing goes on in that pea sized brain but his parents still love him anyway <3 if you want I can make a separate post about adult ryuteru and their spawn because this one is rly long alr.

[rescue-ram]

hawktrap, and if someone got there before me, beejhawk

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) TrapHawk ✨

Ship It

1. What made you ship it?

Waugh, the first MASH episode I remember seeing was Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde, and the funny-turns-touching caretaking instantly set off the little shippy bulb in my brain. I love best friend ships, I love the love and affection between them, I love that they're a paired set and the support they show, and I feel like there's a really special quality to their friendship that makes them feel Very Important to each other. Plus they have great chemistry.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Kfksjsj low key got ahead of myself there. But the thing that keeps me hooked is how flexible they ss characters and their dynamic is. I feel like there's lots of angles you can take and lots of scenarios to explore while still keeping the characters in line with what we see in the show. I love that they're in sync 95% of the time, but those little gaps leave just enough room for drama or angst. I love that they're inveterate kinksters AND softboys who care for each other. They're just great.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I mean there are certain common takes on both characters, especially Trapper, that make me cuckoo bananas rageful. The whole Trapper Abandoned Hawkeye and Broke His Heart thing 🔪🔪🔪 I will also die on the hill that Trapper Is Much Softer Than People Give Him Credit For and Hawkeye Is Much Stronger. Trying to think of how to phrase my gripes and opinions such that I don't come off as unnecessarily bitchy lol. But like, it is SO HARD to find stuff for these two that Works for me. I think they're more interesting and complex than they're given credit for.

Annnnd BeejHawk 🍵

Don't Ship It

1. Why don’t you ship it?

I feel like you articulated this at a deep level beautifully in your meta a few days ago lol. I mean fundamentally I am a Trapper Girl TM and TrapHawk is my One True Pairing, so this was always doomed to at best second tier "I like it fine" ship status tbh. But there's just too much friction in the relationship on screen, there's some genuine meanness and anger, they misunderstand each other at key points, and I don't see the chemistry between them. Being extremely petty and subjective for a second, I just don't like BJ as a character very much, I find him frequently mean and petty and annoying and unfunny. Hawkeye can do better.

2. What would have made you like it?

Augh. Okay, I think in a lot of BJHawk interactions that others read as shippy, I see an edgy clinginess that makes me Uncomfy. So BJ being less "repressed neurotic" and a little more ease in their relationship. Also the fundamental biggest barrier to BJHawk is BJ Loves His Wife and Child, and I don't want to like. Get rid of that aspect of his character because it's vital to him, y'know? But maybe more of Hawkeye corresponding with Peg and building up a friendship with her- it could even be comedic, where he's planning a surprise for BJ who's getting increasingly suspicious then is amused/embarrassed/fond when he figures it out, but just like a sense Hawkeye could be included in the family dynamic without being wildly unfair to Peg, or even just BJ being a little more liberated sexually such that it's easier to imagine them conducting an affair that doesn't IMMEDIATELY implode his marriage. I mean, BJ is the deuteragonist for 2/3 of the show, obviously I have thoughts on their dynamic and how it would change with a romantic or sexual element to it, but I frankly don't see Gay BJ at all, I don't see Bi BJ at all, he's sooooo heterosexual to me, so a more sexually ambiguous or chill BJ is necessary lol. Also more BJ taking care of Hawkeye, more buddy vibes and funny coziness! And like this is probably me ragging too much on BJ... IDK it's hard to say how Hawkeye would need to change, he's already trying to be a good friend given the circumstances... I mean, for my subjective ship tastes 90% of my personal turn offs come from BJ, so Hawkeye is not really the problem in this ship for me. I guess something that really bugs me about the BJHawk fic I've tried that turns me off the ship is Sad Sack Hawkeye, so maybe more content with spunky prankster Hawkeye and co-conspirator BJ, or a proactive seductive Hawkeye pursuing BJ, romancing him, making it more of a "I want this because I want you" than a "I'm clinging to this because I need you" thing, which isn't sexy to me.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Jfkdndkdn. Yeah, I guess. It's not like. A bad ship. I get it. They were The Pair for 8 seasons, they have many many moments to build a ship on, it's not without merit or something. They're friends who've been brought together in horrible circumstances, they go through a lot, they're close, there's some great scenes for them. I think you can get some interesting scenarios out of their dynamic, though my brain runs a little darker and angstier than shippy. But it is just so very much Not My Cup of Tea in either the show or in the fan works I've tried. Even fics that were otherwise interesting and well-written and in character, the BJHawk elements were pure 😬 to me. Truly truly "Your ship is not my ship and that's okay" situation.

[autisticdoll]

My sister doesnt like me, she’s extremely mean and she adds to my insecurities AND SHE KNOWS

She makes multiple unfunny cringe jokes about me having no boobs and having a little boys body, to which one day I told her “I am very much comfortable in my body” AND SHE GOT SO DEFENSIVE AND MAD and she said “I was joking geez” and went to the other room all mad and pissed as if I was at fault

To always calling me stupid and dumb for not understanding some simple stuff or EVEN WHEN IM RIGHT she still calls me stupid

I have told her multiple times how much it hurts me, and she knows she’s a bad person and she says “OH but I can’t help it blah blah blah”

Why can I help it? Why don’t you see me get angry at you? Is it that hard not to make me want to have no self respect and want me to end up dead?

She is also never grateful for the stuff I buy her and how much I spend on her

I love my sister because we are blood related, but you cannot make me like you anymore, not after how many attempts I’ve tried to make you realize how much you’re hurting me, you’re not stupid, you just don’t care about me

To you I’m probably the sandiest and the person you pity the most, you look down on me, and that’s probably you can sense I’m autistic

I can’t wait to go to college and make friends and completely lose touch with her, I want you to become memory

[shruggingcutely]

Felt like doing another rambling rant post

Been on HRT for like 10 years now (I don't really keep track) and if you're wondering if it helped, well, I am alive and sometimes even a person, so probably, yeah. It's funny how girl pills just let me not care about gender anymore, I can be girl-adjacent agender and not care about gender presentation and it's much more comfortable to exist, even though I live in a society that doesn't think non-binary genders are real and doesn't even have good pronouns (hate you too, German language)

I barely use any social media anymore (i.e. it's just my posts here) and that has many upsides because getting bombarded with News is extremely stressful. Activism burns me out very quickly so it's not like hearing about it does much for me besides stress me out when I'm already very low energy. I also just, don't like talking to people I don't know online or wading through stolen AAVE or never-ending unfunny memes or weirdly aggressive young people

Downside is I barely talk to anyone ever now and I don't get to see the queer art. I miss the queer art (despite already reading yuri manga a lot). Social media sucks for that anyway because I just wanna see the art and not also see the weird opinions of the artist the whole time, or constantly see good fan art of works I'm not at all familiar with, or see people constantly praise artists (or media) I don't care about, because I am very normal and definitely not spiteful about always feeling alienated. Pathological demand avoidance is very attractive

Don't think I've ever really been part of a community and maybe that would be good for me, but it's difficult because see above and also because I wanna talk about the anti-authoritarian art collective in Blue Period or how the increased friction in Vintage Story makes it feel so much less like you own the world compared to Minecraft, and not about how the world is on fire or how the world is not on fire because actually we have a conservative neoliberal government now instead of a right-wing one and somehow that's enough and we can relax now and ignore the rise of fascism

The internet as a whole is just exhausting, but I guess it's all I have

[cranialisotope]

just thinking about being an Extremely Picky Enjoyer of Media today. it's honestly really exhausting.

i don't know about you guys, but i actually am very frustrated with myself when i don't enjoy things. in fact, i think i end up taking that frustration out on whatever i'm seeing/hearing a lot of the time, because it's really pretty rare for stuff to be so genuinely bad that it deserves the negative response i often give it. and it's not even necessarily because i think i SHOULD enjoy it because of its content or something like that, but just because... so many other people seem to enjoy a lot of things of varying quality and subjects?? and i am very very selective about what i enjoy, even casually??? and it kinda mega-sucks????

(stupid ass essay incoming)

i want to like things! i want to hear a song for the first time and go "haha nice" and add it to my Fun Songs Playlist instead of wrinkling my nose! i want to i want to see people talking about a show a bunch and go "huh interesting" and put in on my non-existent watch list instead of waiting for some secret thing about it to be so compelling that it finally passes muster! i don't want to feel obligated to express to those i love that i don't care for that song/show/meme they just shared with me, because i worry that if i do pretend to like it they'll keep showing it to me solely because they think it pleases me and then eventually, inevitably, it'll slip that i Don't Actually Care At All and then everybody feels bad about the whole thing!! i want to like more things!!!! life would be easier and i'd feel better if i liked more things!!!!!!!!!

but some people are just wired the same way i am, and it is what it is. it's not a flaw or a thing to be ashamed of as long as you're not a jerk about it. not that i was always or ever perfect—i was a teenager and an angry young adult, once—but i'm older now, and i have deliberately spent time learning things like this about myself so i can keep a better handle on them. i'm still not perfect, but i like to think i'm kinder now, and better at just going "not for me thanks" instead of gritting my teeth and building idle resentment or immediately spouting off every time about why i don't like something.

if you're like me: it's okay to not like a lot of things. some people just come out with a strong sense of their personal taste (neutral) and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. but it's imperative to focus on what you DO like. if you keep seeing things on your feed that you don't give a shit about and it's getting on your nerves, filter the tag. unfollow the person who posts about it. no hard feelings, you're just curating your timeline, and that's better for both of you. don't make comments about stuff you don't like just because the subject pops up, either IRL or online. no, your Valid Critical Opinion On Why It Isn't To Your Taste isn't needed. save that for things you actually do want to engage with in good faith and keep scrolling. fill your spaces with things you enjoy, even if those things are few, because it's pure brain poison to stew on inconsequential things that bring you no joy. as long as you're not obstructing anyone else's ability to enjoy what they want to enjoy in the way they want to enjoy it, you're okay. don't be a little asshole.

but also... pick your battles. sometimes you just have to give an unfunny joke a little chuckle. sometimes you just have to let someone you care about infodump about their blorbos that you couldn't possibly give less of a shit about—and if you can't manage to do that for them, you'd better not fucking expect them to do it for you. fair play if you don't have the bandwidth to commit, but treat the people you love with the same respect unless they specifically ask you to engage with them differently about the things you like.

if you're not like me: i'm sorry. honest to god. i know it's a pain in the ass to deal with people who have a hard time engaging with Things At Large the way you can (enjoying most things as a baseline?? what's that like) but please know that i'm not doing it on purpose or to be contrarian. i don't dislike things because you, specifically, showed them to me. i'm not not-following you because i don't like you/wouldn't rather be mutuals. i'm not irritated with you for liking or sharing or engaging with that thing you enjoy. i don't think less of you for liking lots of stuff; in fact, good for you. i'm just inclined to be discerning to an irritating degree, and many things don't pass my stupid little mostly-irrational sniff test. keep liking the stuff you like, and if we overlap on something we both enjoy, then fuck yeah, babey!!

anyway. i feel vilified by my own brain a lot because i was born a Certified Hater against my will, so if you feel the same way, just know that i see you. and i also probably can't manage to give a fuck about that new thing everybody's on about, but i'm glad they're having fun, too.

[officeobject]

(Half-related vent to Tumblr, no need to read, not recommended to read, nothing personal, etc):

Why am I still being recommended an account of a person I'm never gonna meet anyway, when I thought my interests (aka myself), and my fears (aka teens), were made very clear, as well as what triggers my addiction. It's great that this person is having birthday, but I wouldn't know that, if Tumblr would stop recommending them. I'm not gonna block them, as that's extreme, and I have no reason to, and they're welcome to talk to me, I just expected this to go away on its own. I know how this person is, coming back isn't a welcome - it's like coming back to school, aka an arena full of teenagers - as they have, like, a BILLION notes every time, especially compared to me, and, what, I'm supposed to praise them as well?! What am I supposed to do?! You want me to see their posts?! FINE, I'll SEE their posts, but don't come YELLIN' at ME when I vent in them or whatever! I have a hard time enough ignoring things as it is, and then there's half this person's posts, which are presumably about some other hormone-having thing - and as blockable as I am, I don't wanna be RUDE or anything (even though romance and other stuff should be tagged and I don't tag all my posts almost every single time, just to end up reading stuff that makes me side-glance my damn addiction), and like, good for them ... what now though? And WHAT ABOUT ME? Isn't my ACCOUNT, about me? Like, PLEASE, can we focus on the one I have regular contact to (aka ME), who DOESN'T have a thousand MILLION notes at my feet at each vent or each unfunny post, and who I NEED, to focus on, because "just don't think about things that trigger your addiction", and, "think about things that make you happy, not scary teens!" - and like, I didn't WANT, to be back - TO A PERSON WHO REMINDS ME OF PEOPLE I WISH I NEVER MET BY THE WAY - but anyways, in order for this to not just be a roasting session (that's later today, with marshmallows, and not with the flesh of some hormone-container), I do wanna add some compliments, because I don't hate this person, but I do fucking hate my fucking life, right now: they seem nice, nice positivity or whatever when they're being happy and positive for no reason, nice cohesive memorable Picrew, grammar not bad except for lack of capitalization, points for honesty, paragraphs are nicely spaced out (not relatable LOL - shit I didn't even space THIS one out) - pretty Picrew person, and that's all I guess. I don't wanna come off as rude (after I just came off as very rude), and yes they don't need to know that, but like ... actually, it's not like my choices in life always make sense, or are always nice or anything - I don't know why I just don't or what is wrong with me or why I just DO, but it's in my personality, and I have a weird tendency to follow that, which contrasts with what my addiction even is.

i dont know why im doing this, but

hi, my name is rin.

you might know me already, seen me in passing, hate me or know nothing about me.

you may also know me as batman, or ria, or ren or even sometimes raf.

i like a lot of stuff, like music and poetry and writing.

I love my partner. a lot

i do some sports, like archery and rock climbing, but thats not really my thing. i also write songs, play flute and ukulele.

i like math, and design, i enjoy reading and writing essays, i got gifted kid burnout but i love doing stuff too much to stop.

sometimes, i feel rather old. but im just a kid in this fucked up world and sometimes that makes me sad.

im depressed, and have anxiety, and a slew of mental health issues. i'm also probably neurodivergent.

im not very normal, in a lot of regards, but i think that adds to my character.

im trans, specifically genderfluid, but im getting to a stage where im starting to not give a shit.

im aroace, aroflux technically. but as far as im concerned i like my partner and i dont really know what else.

i do a lot of stuff, i consume a lot of media, you will never catch me lacking cus im really chronically online and just a little bit insane.

my birthday is soon, which i suppose is why im writing this, but i thought i should reintroduce myself to me. as i age i've managed to be the same person, in a lot of different ways. i dont always recognize the person in the mirror, but i think thats ok.

i hope its ok.

and ive come to realize maybe i dont need to be fixed. im definitely not normal but i've never wanted to be either.

id like to be someone who does cool shit, and someone who makes and advocates and does what i love. but normality is simply not for me and i really rather be a crazy bitch in the middle of the woods than a normal bitch in the suburbs.

so yeah, i'm rin, welcome or welcome back to my shitshow of a brain.