autisticdoll - Tumblr blog

[autisticdoll]

When I was younger, in middle school and high school, every school night i would feel so anxious about school, so before going to sleep I would watch children shows such as “Ben and Holly”

[autisticdoll]

me

[autisticdoll]

[autisticdoll]

Me and you, we’re not the same

You’re burning calories

I’m burning the sins of my body

[autisticdoll]

There is just one thing I’ve wanted to say before I died

I am going to write somewhere my whole life and struggles and I want everyone in the world to know how much I’ve struggled I don’t want to die and my damage to be nothing

Before I kill myself im gonna tell people and write letters

I am finding it so hard to breath but somehow I have the straightest face

[autisticdoll]

I’m so stupid to have thought me and him could have been something

Now I really wanna die and feel nothing, I will probably commit suicide in 2025

I find no joy in anything honestly, being an adult and just living honestly is too draining

I can’t even cry bc I’m so numb

I’m so unlovable and just take space

I wish I could die and people would go in their lives like I never existed

I am thinking of making my death seem accidental, I hope my parents get over it soon and just everyone in general

I don’t wanna live I don’t wanna live I don’t wanna live

please someone help me I don’t know what to do

[autisticdoll]

I’m the most disgusting element in human form

Ugly check fat check stupid check useless check no self respect check dirty check obsessive check unlovable check

Losing weight won’t make me confident nothing can help me

[autisticdoll]

I was at a higher math level, but since I didn’t do well in my math placement exam I got down some or a level idk

This completely destroyed my day. Math is something that gives me confidence when I’m the smartest in the too

I really love math so much I’m actually crying bc I wanna be soooo good at math please god give me strength and passion to be happy and healthy this year and remove all my suicidal thoughts please and please make me very smart too please I dont wanna let my family down and I wanna make myself proud

[autisticdoll]

I feel so alone, no one can help me and I’m also so tired of having suicidal thoughts everyday and idk why. I was so excited for school and now I’m just stressed with everything. I cry every night and everything irritates me. I have no shoulder to cry on, if I told my parents that I’m very stressed about school they would just tell me “that’s life” or that I chose that major.

If school becomes too stressful I might just kill myself. I hope god will be forgiving with me when I commit the sin of suicide and also he forgives my other sins

I am not even shocked about how I feel, I’ve been suicidal since I was 9 probably. Crying myself to sleep every night to googling how to fake an accident that could kill me so that “suicide wouldn’t be the reason I died”

Tbh I feel like people just don’t like me, idk why.

What would make me extremely happy and make my life easier would be a diagnosis

[autisticdoll]

I'm autistic and I currently feel like shit checklist

Hi there. Are you autistic? Do you currently feel like shit and don't know why? Try this checklist to see if you can Fix The Problem!

When was the last time you used the bathroom? If you answered "I don't know" or "at least 3 hours ago", go now!

Do you need a drink? Go get one if you don't have one in front of you.

When was the last time you ate? If you haven't eaten yet today, consider eating A Meal, or perhaps A Snack. Something is better than nothing, eat whatever you feel able to!

Is there something in your immediate surroundings that is bothering you? If the light is too bright, turn it off. If there is an annoying sound, make the sound stop or reduce your ability to hear it (earplugs, headphones, etc.). If your clothes are bothering you, change them.

Is your space messy? Pick one area of your room and clean it up as best you can. Clean your whole room if you have the energy!

When was the last time you did An Activity? Scrolling on social media doesn't count. Try actively doing something fun! Play a game you like, read a book, make something, or go for a walk.

When was the last time you Spoke to a Person? Consider talking to a person you like if it has been a while.

How long has it been since you did something Special Interest related? Make some time to do that today. Infodump to a friend, have a nice long research session, look at related images or gifs, make art about it, whatever works best for you!

Try stimming actively! Put on some music and dance, spin in circles, go to the park and use the swings!

If you still feel like shit after trying all of these things, you might be tired or sick. Go to bed early and get some rest. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow!

Hope that helps :)

[autisticdoll]

I’ve been feeling extremely depressed and tired lately, I cry almost everyday and idk why I feel this way. I have lost the joy to meet new people and to dress up as a doll. I just wanna be healthy physically and mentally

[autisticdoll]

It shocks me how many people don’t realise that the autism spectrum isn’t this:

That is in fact a very outdated and in many ways insulting…

THIS IS WHAT THE SPECTRUM IS:

And it is actually incorrect to say “well everyone is somewhere on the spectrum”

Someone may show traits that are associated with autism but that doesn’t mean they are on the spectrum but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are autistic,

Just like someone who is autistic may show traits of people who are neurotypical.

When I am speaking to friends who may use incorrect language or may have outdated information of what the spectrum is, I explain to them why it is important to change how we view and talk about being neurotypical. None of them are intentionally being offensive and are often happy to get a better understanding. It’s always important to be open to changing how we view something so that everyone is able to feel accepted and understood; therefore if there is any information or something I’ve said that is offensive, incorrect or even if you have a different perspective than me, please let me know as I only want to be respectful of others and am always willing to see other people reasons for their views.

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

[autisticdoll]

My sister doesnt like me, she’s extremely mean and she adds to my insecurities AND SHE KNOWS

She makes multiple unfunny cringe jokes about me having no boobs and having a little boys body, to which one day I told her “I am very much comfortable in my body” AND SHE GOT SO DEFENSIVE AND MAD and she said “I was joking geez” and went to the other room all mad and pissed as if I was at fault

To always calling me stupid and dumb for not understanding some simple stuff or EVEN WHEN IM RIGHT she still calls me stupid

I have told her multiple times how much it hurts me, and she knows she’s a bad person and she says “OH but I can’t help it blah blah blah”

Why can I help it? Why don’t you see me get angry at you? Is it that hard not to make me want to have no self respect and want me to end up dead?

She is also never grateful for the stuff I buy her and how much I spend on her

I love my sister because we are blood related, but you cannot make me like you anymore, not after how many attempts I’ve tried to make you realize how much you’re hurting me, you’re not stupid, you just don’t care about me

To you I’m probably the sandiest and the person you pity the most, you look down on me, and that’s probably you can sense I’m autistic

I can’t wait to go to college and make friends and completely lose touch with her, I want you to become memory

[autisticdoll]

I'm wishing a very Happy Pride Month to all the queer people who:

are disabled

are chronically ill

can't celebrate for health reasons

disability gets in the way of their gender representation

disability got in the way of a relationship

don't have anyone to celebrate with

have homophobic caretakers

Happy Pride Month to all disabled queer people

[autisticdoll]

[autisticdoll]

Palestinian activists get their message across on Londons iconic Tower Bridge landmark- one of the cities most historic buildings. We need a ceasefire now.

[autisticdoll]

me looking at photos of myself when i was literally 8 yrs old: ugh fvck you sk1nny b!tch