#i am dedicating my life to him
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"Hearing his voice over the radio, that was the first time that I didn't feel scared shitless."
Robert 'Rosie' Rosenthal in Masters of the Air | 1x06
#the amount of rosie content in this ep is my new purpose in life#masters of the air#mota#robert rosenthal#rosie rosenthal#nate mann#hbo war#userbbelcher#tvedit#cinematv#filmtvdaily#motaedit#mine#yes i am aware that i've pretty much only giffed rosie from mota but i simply do not care#i am dedicating my life to him#also i absolutely made 10 gifs from this ep so stand by for another set
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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I support girls but NAH THIS IS REACHING “if you look carefully LIKE REALLY CAREFULLY 🤓☝️”
#the same people who would shriek like the witch of the north melting her skin off if I tell you haikaveh / kavetham isn’t implied because#if you actually look into our culture they’re being normal and not everyone having rivalry and caring about each other means they’re 💅#in fact Arabs are some of the worlds most hospitable people alhaitham letting kaveh live with him#is the most Arab thing I’ve ever seen#heck if kaveh was a stranger it wouldn’t be unusual for an Arab to let him in their house ☠️#goddamn#“if you look in the internet you can see how they’re implied!🤓☝️”#maybe if you had any respect for my culture or any desire to be educated when I’m handing this to you for free you wouldn’t be your mistake#your mums greatest mistake 🤗🤗🤗*#dora daily#if only ppl dedicated this level of detail to actual culture compared to pulling out their microscope at level 100x magnification lens to#observe robins spots under her eyes the world would be a better place 🙀#let me tell you btw this whole I hate you meh meh meh ( I’m so in love with you ) trope is the most whitest booktok millennial plant growing#basement dweller nonesense I have ever heard in my life don’t do that to my pookies ☹️#( the pookies in fact were 11 and 9 years older than her respectively )#guys my dad is the straightest man alive ( oh the trauma lowkey wish he wasn’t ) and he legit was putting his hand on his best friends lap#LMAOOO even I as a very logical person was like bro this is so zesty rn I am SO uncomfortable#anyways live laugh love boothill x Baizhu they’re the most canon things I’ve ever seen in my life#<- this is a joke btw it’s an ironic ship I saw on tiktok ☠️
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we need to stop characterizing misako as a terrible mom and instead hate dr julien for deadbeat and leaving echo in that damn lighthouse
#this is /hj cause i mean echo was written#after he was gone from the narrative so like. not his fault later seasons would make him look bad in retrospect#but also that’s interesting for angst purposes#ALSO I AM MISAKOS BIGGEST DEFENDER.#yeah abandoning lloyd was shitty but she CANONICALLY deeply regrets it and#was just trying to prevent lloyd from hating his dad and having to fight him#and then she dedicated her entire life after that to trying to save him from fighting him#OVERALL her story is SO MUCH more interesting when you consider how tragic it is#also ppl act like she and llpyd hate eachother for some reason which makes no fucking sense#canonically she and llpyd have a good relationship (a better one than post oni trilogy lloyd and garmadon…)#anyway. i love misako she would’ve loved never love an anchor by the crane wives#ok rant over thanks for coming to my ted talk#anyways#ninjago#lego ninjago#dr julien#misako#echo zane
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Since rt has done some more Minecraft stuff recently I’ve seen a number of posts that hypothesize if there’s a possibility of him joining up with other mcyts or not and thinking realistically, I really couldn’t see him committing to a long term smp like hermitcraft or anything else, just because he doesn’t tend to stay in one place very long. I COULD see him joining the life series though, or other short series like that. He could commit to something for 8 weeks, that’s reasonable enough, maybe less even! But now that I’m thinking of the ‘what ifs’ of that scenario I’ve encountered a specific problem
Rt isn’t a mcyt. He’s a /streamer/. The life series isn’t designed for streamers. So scenario one, he’s forced (forces himself) to conform, and record then edit without live chat. But that’s not really his medium, though there are other people there, and he gets along with people fairly easy, maybe he pushes through. But personally I prefer scenario two- he is the only streamer in a group of YouTubers. Everyone else is talking to themselves, but RT is talking to an ethereal, ineffable, HIVEMIND that only exists for him, but can tell him information that he wouldn’t know otherwise (other lifers past vids, which Dan wouldn’t watch because of spoilers).
Already isolated from not having the same history with everyone that they have with each other, now he becomes even more isolated because he is constantly talking to himself, and responding. Not ‘I’m talking to you (the audience) in the future’ but ‘I’m talking to you, and you’re talking to me’
Not to mention the natural implications for watcher lore. After all, the watchers are the audience. Dan isn’t one, but he can communicate in real time with them? Changes the game a touch, doesn’t it? Not to mention the reign he has on his chat compared to some streamers. Imagine rt telling off the watchers in front people who have been trapped by them for so long. ‘No, chat, I’m not going to kill so and so just because you asked. And if you keep spamming me, I’m turning comments off. Okay fine, I promise that if I don’t kill anyone today, I’ll buy you McDonald’s’
#rtgame#Basically his relationship to chat is so different from the life series lore#that I’d love to see them collide and how it gets reconciled#I was hoping to keep my current hyperfixation away from my dedicated rt blog#but there is some reasonable overlap#anyway I think it’s an unlikely scenario anyway#but I am fond of the way rt is often portrayed with chat at his side#in a way that seems unique to him#or maybe I don’t watch enough streamers
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something something having a new hyperfixation and now having several new WIPs about it AND just starting to draw certain characters from it just yesterday uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah-
#something something UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I fell into the lifesmp hole#and so now I'm very attached to Scar as a character because man. Man he's got me so fucked up#also that headshot reference is very much referenced from a drawing of Ru's that the public has not seen cause I am feral over it- it was a#very good starting point of how I wanted to draw Scar and like yeah#am I saying these are 3rd life designs? I mean they're on my 3rd life doodle page and Scar definitely has a lilac soooooo#WHICH GOD LILAC SYMBOLISM IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#anywho I can be normal I swear#also vaguely Flower husbands because Jay may have gotten me a little attached to them slightly#just wait til I draw Tango and flood you all with Flower Ranchers it'll be over for everyone#the minute I draw more scar I think it'll be over for everyone#dangthatsalongname#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#goodtimeswithscar#fanart#life series#life smp#traffic smp#trafficblr#should I technically be drawing Scar shirtless? Yeah but I did not wanna deal with muscles for a base reference drawing#so like hey he gets a shirt for the moment- If I draw any canon 3rd life stuff I'll draw him shirtless#I'm also watching Bdubs's pov of the Life series because one of my friends recommended it and like god he's a little chaotic#good on him! He tried to fight a wither with Etho in last life! And died from falling! Again! This man can not stop dying from falling#someone needs to make sure he has a water bucket in his inventory at all times because he died by falling in 3rd life and died by it in las#life so if he dies by falling in double life I'll lose it#also I just like the idea of Jimmy in Overalls no one can stop me from drawing him with them okay okay#I dedicate these doodles to Ru Hatt and Jay because they have to share in my insanity of me losing my mind over this silly series#Madi's art :>#OKAY I'M STOPPING NOW I GOTTA PUT THE LAPTOP AWAY
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love how the older skaters in the senior division give Yurio encouragement and that each time it pisses Yurio off. JJ is intentionally condescending so that makes sense, but with Viktor and Yuuri they're not even being condescending. Yurio's just dialed in on being a hater... and i love that for him <3
#'plot twist i LOBV you' -Yuuri#'i am going to skin you alive' -Yurio#yuri on ice#sometimes he is a teenager#he's got so much fury in his tiny body. and yet he is also just an earnest lad. i find him sooo funny silly#which he would hate me for!!#I recall a meta post about Otabek being the first one to verbally recognize how hard Yurio devotes himself to skate and I really dig that#like I think Yurio's frustration is justifiably rooted in how little others take him seriously despite his life-consuming dedication#I DO think he is over the top and i enjoy this; for it is entertaining.#but i also think his feelings are genuine and he is a complex little guy.#i'm thinking of him sharing his grandpa's food with Yuuri and being emotionally vulnerable with him at the waterfall#Yurio is a hater on his opponents (and Viktor) but I think on some level he recognizes the genuine care Yuuri+Viktor show him#I think Yurio doesn't understand how they can be encouraging to him while also taking him seriously#Cuz Yurio is so wary of his elders dismissing him#so older skaters being friendly translates in his head as 'they dont think i can beat them / they dont see me as an equal'#But I think when these relationships are removed from that competitive atmosphere Yurio DOES see how they care and he appreciates it.#It would be so sweet to see an older Yurio reflect on this time and realize that Viktor + Yuuri + others DID take him seriously#and just because they were fond of him it doesnt mean they didnt appreciate his talent.#tbh being a young athlete must be such a mindfuck and idk how these bitches do it. send tweet#yuri plisetsky#yoi meta#queue#my words#AWW right after writng this i watched the part where Yurio starts yelling encouragement to Yuuri#who internally tells himself 'i got more stamina than that fuckin Yurio mf' (paraphrasing lol)#they switched love languages <3 cheerleader & hater role reversal
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Raymond Reddington
In Season 4 Episode 2 - Mato
#james spader#raymond reddington#the blacklist#reddington#red#raymond red reddington#blacklist#tbl#my screenshots#screenshot edit#photo edit#edit#OH GOD GUYS THIS EPISODE FUCKED WITH MY EMOTIONS#i mean fUCKING RAYMIND FUCKED WITH MY EMOTIONS FOR SHOOTING KAPLAN!!!!?!?!?!??!!????!?!?!??!?!!? I AM STILL FUCKING FURIOUS#i know she is still alive and is with some weird guy#BUT I ACTUALLY HAD A “FUN” THEORY SOME EPISODES PRIOR THAT KAPLAN WILL TURN AGAINST RED KXJKCJFK👀👀 WHAT IF THAT HAPPENS NOW OH GOD#BUT i also think that maybe she tries to either team up with that weird guy who helds her hostage or that she will either try to call Red#somehow to get help OR try to reach out to Tom and Lizzy and get help and if she does she helps Lizzy and Tom and slowly tells her more#about Red and whats happening#or she realy fully turns against Red as I once said “as a joke”#funny is that a lot of my theories i say as ajoke to my fandom friends actually turn to be right sooo i cnat wait to watch more eps tonight#and see what Kaplan will do oh god#also FUCK YOU RED YOU FUCKING SHIT ASSHOLE KAPLAN DEDICATED HER LIFE TO YOU AND YOU FUCKING SHOOT HER#i can kinda understand why red did that like 3% THE ITHER I JUST WANNA FUCKING PUNCH HIM ARGH#BUT ANOTHER THEORY OF MINE IS red is like a super soldier with his weapons imo and he could have EASILY shot her in the middle of her head..#so WHY SHOULD HE SHOOT HER “ONLY” AT THE SIDE OF HER HEAD?????! he could have easily realy killed her...or was he “unfocused”? what i cant#imagaine for Red handling a weapon#so maybe Red wanted to give her a chance?????#AAARGH DIS SHOW CONFUSED ME SO MUCH MAKING ME COME UP WITH THE WILDEST THEORIES#I LOVE IT
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when i say i am obsessed with him
#'indescribable insolence' <3333#dumas writing aramis in '20 years after':#i am going to create a character that is so egdy sarcastic provocative and irritating to everyone around him#and im gonna make stirring shit being an asshole and gruesome murder his favourite hobbies#and he did just as he said. bless him.#most character ever#and what makes him even better is the contrast between 20YA!aramis and t3M!aramis. its hilarious.#my man really went feral. midlife crisis some call it. i call it character development of all time. i call it serving cunt.#aramis as a musketeer a soldier a man in a profession where you're literally paid for killing people:#sweetness and mildness personified writes poetry and theology essays in his free time never gambles dreams about dedicating his life to god#aramis as a priest: whooo boy i hope i get to fUCKING KILL A PERSON TODAY >:D#anyway. i love him a normal amount or something.#the three musketeers#alexandre dumas#anyway. i reread this scene and the charenton battle today because it's definitely in my top 3 aramis moments#also the english translation on the gutenberg page omits two lines of dialogue that i remembered from my polish translation#and it goes something like#de Chatillon says 'i think you're looking for a fight sir' to which Aramis basically responds with 'oh nooo you *think*? Imao'. iconic.#(and its even funnier cause that makes athos immediately go 'aramis stfu plz' and aramis just goes 'no <3' im obsessed with them)#vingt ans apres#do i have a#twenty years after#tag?? not sure tbh i think i dont but tagging just in case ig
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im going to be so annoying all week
#agghagahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HYYESAAHHHH#★ arin rambles#BRO BRO PLEASLE#PELASE#my apology for everyone. I have to make it now . Sorry. If youre following me destroy that notif button you dont wanna hear how worse i will#get#actually no just Unfollow entirely#ITS THE ADHD#PLEASE. HE IS SO . COOL. his trailer is so awesome IVE REWATECHED IT 3 TIME SNOW.#I LOVE HIMMMMMMM SO MUCHHHHH#I LOVE HIM SO BAD I JUST ADORE HIM PLEASE#HES SO PRETTY. JAW DROPPING. ICONIC. LIFE CHANGING. THE TEARS IN MY EYES. GENUINELY SOBBING RITHT NOW IT S SO OVER#aventurine likers hold me. Nobody understands. Everyone is scared of me im too crazy#actually its everything wrong with me . Hes ruining my life#i dont struggle as an aventurine liker i actually excel at this its my full rime job now#‘9 to 5’ no i work 9 to 9. Every hour is dedicated to him#im glad uguys agree with me thannk uou i was starting to think i was a freak#Well i am but im glad someone else agrees hes cool#Hes so pretty im so happy#I CAMT WAIT RILL WENDENSDAY PLEASE IM GONNA FREAKIFN BLOW UP#I LOVE AVENTURINE. I LOVE AVETURINE.#i get so happy when i see him i get a little violent its unsettling .#like im like shaking my hands and jumping around my room and then u blink and im bashing my head against the floor#its carpet. Im ok. But like not but i am#DUDE. I LOVE. THIS GUY. EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM#i needto. Just. Okay brb gonna watch ir like 20 more times ill see u guys next year im going into a Aventurine induced coma#this makes me realize people read my tags. Oh dear. Sorry everypony#i apologize for my behavior. I will get so much scarier.#HES SO COOL. HES ACTYALLU SO COOL. LIKE HOW CAN SOMEBODY BE SO COOL.#oh god OH LORERDRDRDDDDDDD WHEN I GET YOU BOY WHEN I FIND YOU. WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT I WILL GET YOU.
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Something something Wren saying he'd propose to Kiawe with the Ring of Fire.
#I think I am so genius for this#Was writing some shitty poem and wrote “the Ring of Fire would be around your finger.” WOW KIND OF SURPIRSED MYSELF WITH THAT ONE#It's so kiawren becuz the ring of fire is known as where there are many volcanoes and there's a tectonic reason behind it#Not only is it a 'ring' but if I say that I mean it with all the desire and dedication of the volcanoes of the world#Reminder that he loves volcanoes#Kiawren#I love kiawren#I don't care how this would work in the pkm.n world#He will be subjected to my reality becuz I can ground our love to so many larger things like mythologies and this kind of stuff#HOW IS HE NOT REAL I NEED TO SAY THIS TO HIM I WANT TO KNOW HIS REACTION FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE#Wren chirping
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My toxic trait is that I like how my incomplete drawings look better than the finished things
#im sorry i cant be her (my searching lines)#i cant stop thinking about this drawing i have a sinking feeling that im gonna be very unhappy when its done#or. not unhappy. but not as excited as i feel about it now!#i only worked in two short chunks on it but both were pretty productive#i have a feeling that when i take the time to really dedicate myself to it im gonna fuck something up#like i can see areas i need to/can improve already but the glaring flaws are ok! bc it's not finished!#it OVERALL looks cool and LOOKS like it has the potential to turn out well#but will it... WILL IT??? WILL IT EVER?#i have never been so totally completely satisfied w any finished drawing ive dedicated myself to fully.#tales from diana#this is also only the second time ive done a really deliberate self-portrait that wasnt in some for or another. practice#like of course ive drawn my face before. not that often actually. but since yes i do draw. i have drawn myself#i probably should've drawn myself more times for how often i think id like a nice picture of myself#but then again its not gonna be so 'nice' if i make it and am not totally happy w it?#see one of the ppl who inspired me to learn to draw is ned @sneez my dearest. he's spoiled me before#and drawn me very beautifully on several occasions and it's very much a thing to move one's heart#to see someone dedicate their talent to depicting YOU.#and i might say HE has made me look more beautiful in art than i think i'll ever look in the flesh#which is not to say he drew me inaccurately. but he's so talented that his art is more beautiful than life.#and i dont compare myself in skill to him bc he's been doing it for YEARS and way more trained than me in the visual arts.#like it simply wouldn't be fair so i only compare myself to myself. naturally#but i used to think. very VAINLY i might say. that if i could draw like him id draw beautiful pictures of myself all the time#well ce n'est pas ca mon ami. since learning to draw i've found im much more interested in drawing ppl i find beautiful#rather than myself. im not art. not through my own eyes at least.#i should really draw ned sometime. i really should.#actually somewhat embarrasingly i tried to draw him like 5 or 6 years ago. and i NEVER tried to draw then#i did show him tho and he thought it was very impressive but that's probably just bc he loves me. xoxox#maybe ill post that someday as a throwback just for the hell of it. lol. thatd be cute
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me laughing at the same jokes i’ve heard 1000 times every time i listen to/watch a recording of phantom
#and i swear it gets funnier every time!#was dying while listening to an audio today#(it was specifically nehal joshi during the il muto ballet)#(i could not stop laughing and i couldn’t even SEE him it was just his delivery)#(ugh he’s so funny i love him)#poto shitpost#also side note im about to go on a tangent#but my phantom hyperfixation runs so deep and i have so many thoughts about it#i have at least 100 posts in my drafts about it and i’m not exaggerating#they’re mostly silly memes but it’s still like an overload of posts about phantom#and i’m like. insecure about how much i think about it???? and how much of my headspace i dedicate to it????#so i keep the bulk of the memes/random posts in my drafts because i just feel weird about posting so much#i really could post about it 24/7 if i didn’t have to be a Person with Tasks#and idk i think im just hyper-aware of how i present my interests in daily life while offline#i am someone who hyperfixates and obsesses and while i could talk about phantom for years i am terrified of annoying people with my interest#i’m worried about being perceived as weird so i kind of flatten myself to make myself more palatable for others#which has me being insecure about the things i’m passionate about and how deep that passion runs#and these feelings have bled online to the specific space i have created as an outlet for my passion#like it’s my blog i shouldn’t be censoring my love for a thing that brings me joy#but my fear of being othered is like. overtaking me. because there are many things that i can’t change about myself#that categorize me as an ‘other’ (sexuality identity mental health etc)#and this is something i can control. i can control how i portray my personality#so i flatten my personality to compensate for the other (perceived) weird things that can’t be changed#idk i just shouldn’t feel the need to do that here bc pretty much everyone on here is super passionate about something#like obsessive about it#and that’s what i love about this site with all its faults. like this is a space for people to come and Be Weird and Act Strange#and everyone just accepts it#and also the phantom community in general#why should i water down my love for phantom in the one place where people can understand it and relate to it???#hit the tag limit but i’ve come to multiple revelations while typing this lmao
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can i just say that Longing For Acceptance Already Given is STILL rotting my mind? its tooth-rotting-ly sweet but its not straight fluff and my brain goes haywire everytime I read the line "They settle instead for a soft rippling in the Light; the feeling of tucking a sleeping other’s hair away." bc oh my GOD what possessed me when i wrote that. holy shit
Look. i know "pining" is usually used in a romantic way, but i think Wolf is just generally pining. Like anything they touch could shatter or wilt in their hands at any given moment and they hate it and they hate themselves but they're too tired anymore for there to be any real fire behind it and they want so badly to reach out but its tiring and dangerous and do they even deserve it?
If, by taking this hand, theirs would be cut off? Are they the offered hand, hiding a blade, claws? Are they capable of dulling their edges, of meeting gentleness with gentle hands?
Which, while it's not the highest quality, Against Better Judgement (ch2 of One Mirror, Two Reflections) comes back to this in that brief misc Wolf POV. Their sort of amazement/realization/mild crisis that they're holding something, wrapped in their hands, and its warm and its alive and it's not trying to run from them and- Its someone who trusts them, implicitly, not to hurt him.
It's the hand they're so afraid of and they can't figure out if they want to hold on to it and never let go or if they want to run, just keep running, and never let anyone so close ever again. Maybe he should be afraid of them, actually, maybe that terrifying hand is really theirs and their claws are going to cut him open when- if they try to hold on.
And the question of "theirs or his?" after calling the touch a lifeline... "Did that even matter?"
and the line "This quiet destruction– progress?" back in Longing? oh dont get me started.
hi helloo i am Not crying over my old writing. this is a perfectly normal thing for me to be doing. hi hey hello do you hear me. i did NOT mean to write a wholeass essay here it was just supposed to be reminding people about that one line, how did we get here. and anyway the very fact that i barely mentioned Ghost here isnt really a crime bc he's almost an extension of them. another piece of their soul. that softness comes so natural with him, another limb, and he responds in kind, and they both know the other is fragile, and they both know its in two so very different ways and yet they just get it. There's no one else like each other even if they both need more friends. theres nothing more important than each other and they're all they've got and and and-- if you know whats good for you, you will NOT read these tags
#orb rambles#the forsaken exile#SMITE ME NOW#PLEASE JUST SMITE ME#romantic or platonic who CARES they Just Are and they all need one another. help me#the dynamic between you and the guy who killed you when they're the only other one who understands the burden on your shoulders#and understands being treated as a weapon. but you know that what happened to them is why your trainers (formerly theirs) are so distant#and hesitant to know you more. and you know these people did it to themselves and your killer didnt deserve any of this. betrayed by family#and left for dead and maybe youre even scared it might happen to you too. everyone's scared you might become your killer even as they becom#your best friend even they dont want you to become like them but you already are and it wasnt by choice. for either of you.#and then the dynamic between you and the guy who gave the other half of his soul to give you a new life.#forgiven of whatever the past one was. and maybe he even IS your soul not just the other half and it doesnt really matter either way#because now you're both in so deep and maybe there never was a surface to swim to but there is a landmass and that landmass is (you) (him)#and you've already been doing this for so long now. dedicated to each other (before he even found you) (but you had a bigger burden to#shoulder that kept you from holding him) so it wasnt even a great change between you and him to just latch on again. so maybe#you already drowned but youre breathing the water fine (but youre not) so maybe itll be okay one day (it wont have the chance to be)#ANYWAY im fine yeah. the crow says hello and the wolf stays by your side right#dont know what just possessed me (TFE itself maybe. or maybe Luna yeah lets blame Luna actually)#[big red text saying LIAR appears over my head]#(I AM ILL)
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lucian makes a 3 note tumblr post and suddenly everyone wants to put his ass on trial for every grievance the family has against him. okayyy what if we all killed ourselves
#fuck off..im serious like what is this. is anybody fucking seeing this#and nobody wants to speak for themselves it all comes down to one person having to relay the whole laundry list of my crimes#as if i ever get more than one check in a year. as if they know anything about me or who i am#beyond what apparently gets looked at on my blog and relayed to my mother. living in the fucking digital panopticon apparently#i hope everyone is happy! lucian is the problem! he’s always been so ungrateful and inconsiderate! let’s all make him feel trapped.#no wonder i had to get out of there. years of my life i dedicated to enduring my mother so that i could be near my sister#and every time crucify lucian day comes back around it’s everyone’s turn to tell me how i failed her as if i dont fucking know that#i dont need them leveraging her over me like a sick kick in the gut every time they speak to me. like they know how much i love her#burning bridges. fuck off. ive been chased back across the bridge every time.
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Hey I made Tokoyami and Dark Shadow playlists if anyone wants to listen to songs that remind me of them (these are in YouTube music btw)
#I am so nervous#my taste in music is so bad and random#please give lullaby for a princess a chance ds is a Luna kinnie I know it#some of these are just me latching onto one line and going Yeahhh that’s him#specifically a few of tokos songs are about how he has dedicated his whole life ds#I love their toxic codependency~#also if y’all have any recommendations TELL ME!!#bnha#boku no hero academia#tokoyami fumikage#dark shadow
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