#anyway I think it’s an unlikely scenario anyway

[goodluckclove]

I inadvertently created probably the funniest character in my life while watching xkcd's What if series and I want to try and communicate him to see if it's actually funny or if I'm just insane.

So on its own the video series is very funny. Every short episode is answering an earnest hypothetical submitted by a viewer ("What if everyone on earth went to the same location and jumped at the same time?") and Randall Munroe gives a pretty thorough scientific answer ("extinction-level catastrophe - but not for the reason you might think!").

Somewhere along the lines Riley and I started creating an unlikely hero we obviously had to name Tony. Tony is thrown into apocalyptic scenarios befitting a Will Smith or Mark Wahlberg. Tony, however, is aggressively New Yorker. Like comically, pretend New Yorker levels of New Yorker-ism.

So everyone on earth gathers in the same place to jump at the same time, observed their combined efforts had no tangible results, and then promptly realized that collecting virtually everyone in one place at the same time is actually a terrible idea because it's nearly impossible to get everyone back to where they came from. People are devastated, but Tony - being a True New Yorker - is cool as a cucumber.

"Only in New York!" He declares. "We're a true melting pot, ya know? The American Dream!"

He scans the despairing mass of the rest of his species. Shaking his head in bemusement he thinks about people never figure out the best way to walk down the street.

But Tony knows. It's just what happens when you live like he does. Born a New Yorker, you die a New Yorker. Born a Texan, you die a New Yorker. Born in The Democratic Of Congo, you die a New Yorker. Badda-bing!

One of many fractured groups approaches Tony and says they're going to try and make it across state lines since traffic has made driving impossible.

"You don't got what you need here?" Tony questions. "Whaddya talking about? It's New York, Baby! The Big Apple! The whole CITY'S your coffin!"

Anyways I love Tony and whenever I hear about world-ending scenarios I'm going to imagine him reading with cool nonchalance. He also got a best friend named Pizza Rat. Pizza Rat is a person but they used to work the suit in Chuck E Cheese so that's why Tony calls them that.

[meteorites-and-forest-fires]

Since rt has done some more Minecraft stuff recently I’ve seen a number of posts that hypothesize if there’s a possibility of him joining up with other mcyts or not and thinking realistically, I really couldn’t see him committing to a long term smp like hermitcraft or anything else, just because he doesn’t tend to stay in one place very long. I COULD see him joining the life series though, or other short series like that. He could commit to something for 8 weeks, that’s reasonable enough, maybe less even!  But now that I’m thinking of the ‘what ifs’ of that scenario I’ve encountered a specific problem

Rt isn’t a mcyt. He’s a /streamer/. The life series isn’t designed for streamers. So scenario one, he’s forced (forces himself) to conform, and record then edit without live chat. But that’s not really his medium, though there are other people there, and he gets along with people fairly easy, maybe he pushes through. But personally I prefer scenario two- he is the only streamer in a group of YouTubers. Everyone else is talking to themselves, but RT is talking to an ethereal, ineffable, HIVEMIND that only exists for him, but can tell him information that he wouldn’t know otherwise (other lifers past vids, which Dan wouldn’t watch because of spoilers). 

Already isolated from not having the same history with everyone that they have with each other, now he becomes even more isolated because he is constantly talking to himself, and responding. Not ‘I’m talking to you (the audience) in the future’ but ‘I’m talking to you, and you’re talking to me’

Not to mention the natural implications for watcher lore. After all, the watchers are the audience. Dan isn’t one, but he can communicate in real time with them? Changes the game a touch, doesn’t it? Not to mention the reign he has on his chat compared to some streamers. Imagine rt telling off the watchers in front people who have been trapped by them for so long. ‘No, chat, I’m not going to kill so and so just because you asked. And if you keep spamming me, I’m turning comments off. Okay fine, I promise that if I don’t kill anyone today, I’ll buy you McDonald’s’ 

[grand-line-shenanigans]

Schrodinger's Igogusa. Or something

[acidicpenumbra]

they get to dance. or. whatevers up with them. this was already sketched like right after finishing the last art wirh the two of them so i had to finish it. i think the dynamic idea is interestinf actuallt irs a shame that like. nothing fuckinf exists but alas i have tje power to create and boy did i do that. erm. hey guys. more infinadow before i fixate on another pairing i suppose

[countercharmda]

💜

[hopeswriting]

#it makes sense for Vindice to monitor the Underworld and for the Rings to be in the Underworld #because that seems to be where the flame people are hanging out #but statistically if its only 7 people in the world #even with flames morebeing common in the Underworld they SHOULD be mostly civilian or civilian adjacent #it actively benefits Checkerface to keep them away from each other and the underworld until the main event in many ways too- less resistanc #also their being tricked makes more sense in context of very competent people with a ridiculous learning curve

#it does confuse me a bit why Verde isn't considered to be civilian prior to the formation of I prescelti sette? he's a scientist #I know most people read that as like mafia scientist but why? isn't it funnier if he isn't? #but this interpretation of I prescelti sette is hilarious because like. Reborn comes in to this meeting of super professionals and finds #a) an oracle Donna known for her Flame strength. cool and normal #b) the Italian military (okay?) #c) a very talented fighter- even if reborn hasn't heard of him #d) a scientist. he does machines? oh weapons? no?? #e) a stuntman whose poster Reborn's seen a few times. what #f) some random emo child who works part-time at a florist #lmao I bet viper just pretends to know what's happening for like 3 days before someone figures out that they are just making shit up

via @in-asterism

I see your “Skull was the only civilian among the Arco”, and I raise you “Reborn and Luce were the only mafiosi among the Arco”

Okay so this is two third crack, but hear me out, the one third left is pretty solid:

Keep reading

[vitiateoriginator]

Yesterday I went for a routine checkup with my obgyn and the first thing she did was say to me 'have I told you you have a large thyroid?"

Anyways now I gotta make an appointment with a primary doctor to see what all that's about

[realcube]

— SAIKI RELATIONSHIP HCS

☆ very hesitant to hug you/hold hands bc he is afraid he might shatter all your bones. prefers kisses, less can go wrong

☆ except that one time he kissed you and was so flustered that a whole galaxy exploded

☆ but it was one of those really distant, useless ones so he moved on

☆ or that time you held his hand and he literally started levitating ??

☆ finishes exams in two seconds then spends the rest of the time annoying you

'i don't mean to disturb you but i noticed you put the wrong answer for question four' 'get out of my head!'

☆ i already wrote a drabble about this but he morphs into different objects to 'prank' you

☆ you always want him to shrink bc what's the point of having a psychic bf if you can't carry him around on your person like a polly pocket

☆ he's very apprehensive about it, however one day he finally agrees to it because you have a shift at work and you really wanted him to join you but it would be weird if he just showed up to your place of work unannounced so he shrunk and you carried him around in your back pocket

☆ that is until you almost sat on him!! and when he dived out to avoid being crushed, he fell onto the sticky work floor covered in dust

☆ still hasn't fully recovered 😿

☆ omg if you are insecure about a physical feature of yours , instead of using his powers to change you, he will use his mind control on the entire world so that your insecurity is now the beauty standard (similar to what he did with his hair)

☆ he doesn't use mind control on you though bc it's rude

☆ in fact he tries to avoid using his powers on you all together bc it would only cause trouble (with the exception of telepathy bc he likes to speak to you.. unlike he does with most people)

☆ and he's very strict with that ethic of his

☆ which is nice and all, and really easy until he does something super embarrassing in front of you

☆ like you see him scream at a cockroach or smth

☆ and he is SO tempted to use memory alteration on you so you could just forget that ever happened

☆ but he just can't bring himself to do it

☆ OR when your birthday was before his so he got you a present but didn't do that much else, but when it was time for his birthday and you went all out, he so wanted to either go back in time and do better or just alter your memory so you think he went all out too

☆ oh and passive aggression doesn't work on him ofc

☆ if you are ever mad or upset at him for whatever reason, you can't be like 'hmph i'm not gonna tell you what you did wrong, you just have to know :<' bc he can.. y'know.. read your mind

☆ and he also knows exactly what to do to make you feel better and forgive him, every single time

☆ plus you can never stay mad at him for long anyway bc he's just too cute!!

☆ too shy to admit that he wants to spend more time with you so he will use his powers as some sort of excuse

as you're about to leave saiki's room, he lies, 'wait. don't go. i have had a precognition that something terrible is going to happen to you if you do.' 'really?' you raise an eyebrow. 'and what might that be?' he wasn't really ready for any follow up questions so he stutters and thinks of the scariest scenario he can 'toritsuka.' ... 'toritsuka is going to do what? jump me?' 'no. just toritsuka.'

☆ for your birthday or anniversary he does something you call the 'saiki special' where he duplicates himself to give you a full body massage

☆ it's what dreams are made of !!!

☆ but yeah it's a lot of effort so he saves it for special occasions

☆ he would so love to watch trashy reality tv shows with you

☆ but he so uses it against you

☆ like if you are ever studying and are like 'why am i working so hard when you are psychic and can literally set us up for the easy life 😫'

☆ he'll be like.. you know who else never worked hard a day in they're life.. the kardashians!! do you really want to end up like that??

☆ and when you say yes this is the face he makes 😐

☆ dw though bc as i said before he will be in your head during exams so he can help you a little

☆ his love language is actually spoonfeeding you food and desserts

☆ and yes he actually uses his hands opposed to his mind to control the spoon, just to show you that being a psychic doesn't mean he gets to cut corners!

[kirsctein]

~

[ancnymcnzjy]

Dating or Not Dating?

Pairing: Lee Heeseung x f. reader

Genre: Fake dating, best friends to lovers, fluff, subtle angst, romance

Warning: Explicit language, smut

Synopsis: You don’t answer your friend’s call because you’re hanging out with Lee Heeseung, your guy best friend, whom you haven’t seen since you were nine.

Too occupied with the video game you're playing and since your guy best friend is using your phone anyway, you ask him to text your friend for you.

He sends a message saying, "She can’t talk right now. What’s up?" which makes her freak out and ask lots of questions.

Your lack of response leads her to interrogate your other friends—now they think you're dating someone.

Taking advantage of your friends’ confusion, you wonder: What’s the worst that could happen if you randomly soft-launch your guy best friend to get a reaction out of them?

Word Count: 2,545

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You suddenly became the topic of discussion among your friends in the days following you posted a picture of Heeseung on your Instagram story.

They didn’t necessarily believe that you suddenly had a boyfriend, since you’re always open with them about what's going on in your life.

It also seemed unlikely that you would start dating someone without first telling your friends how much you like them.

However, your friends bought it, using your recent absence due to illness as an excuse and a canvas for their imagination.

You kept quiet, hiding your amusement as they speculated and came up with absurd conclusions for your recent absence.

They also started examining the picture you posted, trying to figure out who it was.

Suddenly, you were glad Heeseung turned away just as you took the picture. Although his side profile was visible, your friends wouldn’t have a clue who he was since you became friends with them a year after he already moved away.

As school ended, your friends began leaving the campus.

They asked if you'd like to come to the mall, but you declined, saying you had somewhere else to be.

On any normal occasion, you’d head straight to your car.

Today, however, you stayed at the entrance of your university, leaving your friends puzzled.

Soon, it dawns upon them that you’re getting picked up.

You wave goodbye to them as you head over to Heeseung’s car that’s just pulling up.

You couldn’t help but laugh at their shocked expressions as you get in Heeseung’s car.

Wanting to get more reactions out of them, you give Heeseung a peck on the cheek before buckling yourself in.

As Heeseung drives off, you glance back at your friends, who are now exchanging looks and trying to make sense of what they’d just witnessed.

•••

Back at your place, you and Heeseung spend the rest of the day hanging out in your bedroom.

While Heeseung plays video games on your PC, you're contemplating how this whole fake dating idea will play out.

"Hee, do you think our idea will work?" you ask, beginning to doubt your spontaneous plan of soft-launching him on your socials before revealing to your friends who your boyfriend is.

"I don't see why not. Your friends already believe you have a boyfriend—especially now that they saw a glimpse of us together earlier in my car.

The worst-case scenario is we stop, and you tell them the truth, saying it was a joke all along."

With truth in his words, you remain quiet, choosing to silently ponder the outcome of this whole thing.

Not liking your state of overthinking, you distract yourself by watching him get his third kill in his game.

Your eyes wander to his wide eyes, twinkling with concentration. His bottom lip is tucked beneath his teeth, and his hands skillfully click the keys on your keyboard.

The way the computer screen illuminates his figure stirs something in you.

On any other occasion, his matching pajama pants with you and the random shirt he's wearing would have you laughing and teasing him about how silly he looks. But the way they perfectly fit his body has you hitching your breath and swallowing your nervousness.

As if sensing your stare, Heeseung looks at you when his game ends.

He removes the headphones from his head and makes his way to you.

Before you can move to make space for him on your bed, he quickly shifts and hovers above you, holding himself just above your lying figure with his arms.

Him playfully trapping you beneath his arms is common, yet the way he cages you in this time feels different.

You look up at Heeseung, who stares down at you with adoration.

"What's wrong, Hee?" you ask, curiosity etched into your furrowed brows.

He's quiet as he observes every delicate detail on your face.

You stare up at him as his eyes trail from your eyes and down to your lips.

You let out a surprise gasp when he suddenly kisses you, and let out more similar noises when you feel him press his body against yours.

You feel the bulge in his pants become more prominent, and you subconsciously start moving your hips to meet his light thrusts against your core.

While your hand is tangled up in his hair, his own hand is against your cheek keeping it steady so he can slide his tongue into your mouth.

As you let him explore your mouth, a little voice in your head reminds you that friends don't kiss. Friends don’t shove their tongue down each other’s throats, and friends especially don’t have their hands exploring one another’s body as if their life depended on it.

So ever since you and Heeseung agreed to fake date, have you been able to call one another just friends?

Heeseung pulls away from the kiss first.

His eyes mirror your lustful gaze as his eyes trail down to your chest. 

At the sight of your erect nipples poking through your shirt, his eyes darken and a smug smile is plastered across his lips.

He makes direct eye contact with you while lowering his head down to kiss each of your breasts, savouring the soft feeling he’s met with. 

He eyes the hem of your shirt and bunches it up in his hand. 

“Sit up for me quickly, angel,” Heeseung asks you while kissing your cheek. 

You do as he says, lifting your arms up as well to let him take your shirt off.

Not liking how you’re the only one exposed, you ask him to take his own shirt off as well. 

Catching Heeseung by surprise, you latch your legs around his waist and flip the both of you around so he's laying down and you’re straddling him from the top.

You peck his lips before showering his neck and collar bone with feather light kisses. 

Your hand gets busy exploring every inch of his exposed skin. 

When you reach his chest and abdomen, you drag your fringes across them teasingly. 

Heeseung shudders at your touch, instantly gripping your wrists in warning of the game you’re playing. 

Growing up together, you’ve come to learn all his sensitive spots. When you were younger, you exploited that knowledge to tickle him when he wasn’t expecting it; now, you use it to get the reactions you so badly want from him.

You smile teasingly at him while your fingers move lower until they reach the band of his sweatpants.

Slowly, you pull it down along with his boxers, making his hardened dick spring out onto his stomach.

With your fingertip, you trace the prominent veins along his length and swipe over his red, sensitive tip that’s already spilling precum. 

You smile to yourself, knowing you're the cause of his uneven breathing and trembling body—both the result of anticipation.

While kissing up his body once more, you notice the silver necklace dangling around his neck. 

You pull on the angel charm that’s attached to bring his lips to yours. At the same time, you wrap your fingers around his length. 

He’s already wet from precum, but he’s not as slick as you want him to be. 

You pull your lips away from Heeseung, a string of saliva following you as you hover your face above his. 

“Sit up and spit on your dick for me, baby.” You ask Heeseung sweetly while stopping your strokes along his length.

He does what you ask, though biting his lip and leaning his head back in amusement immediately afterward, since it's not quite registering in his brain that you, his best friend, could ever say such words.

You’ve been shy since you were young—you spoke shyly, too. But now that you're both older, it’s clear that some things have changed.

Heeseung watches how his precum and spit smear all over his length as you move your hand up and down. 

He lets out a subtle groan when you lower your head, kissing his tip teasingly before licking down his length to reach the base of his dick. 

You take him in your mouth, bobbing your head slowly while using your hand to jerk off the rest of his length that couldn’t fit in your mouth. 

He fits your mouth perfectly. Each thrust has his dick hitting the back of your throat, where Heeseung praises you with compliments that have you moaning around his dick as a result of making him feel good.

You look up to see his chest heaving desperately. Wanting to make him feel even better, you go to pick up your pace when Heeseung suddenly stops you. 

“Come up here, pretty,” he says out of breath. 

He watches as you release him from your mouth, then holds out his hand to help you move up to his lap. 

You lift yourself up so Heeseung can remove your shorts and underwear. 

You place one hand on his shoulder for stability, and the other around his length to line it up with your entrance. 

You glide his tip along your pussy, grinding your hips simultaneously to cover his dick in your arousal. 

Slowly you slip his tip inside and move yourself down until his dick is halfway in. His thickness and length has you stopping abruptly to get used to his size. 

While you tilt your head back in pleasure, Heeseung’s breath hitches as he gets accustomed to your tightness. 

You bring your other hand to his shoulder just as Heeseung squeezes your plush thighs to stop him himself from cuming too quickly. 

Once you’ve lowered yourself completely on his length, Heeseung’s hand moves up to feel the prominent bulge on your stomach. 

He looks into your eyes and asks smugly, “Am I too big for you, angel?” 

You nod, closing your eyes and biting your lip to contain the lustful moans daring to spill from your lips. 

He laughs softly at your reaction before kissing down your neck to the swell of your breasts.

His tongue circles around one of your nipples while his hand fumbles with the other. 

Heeseung picks up on your approaching release, moving his hand from your breast to your clit.

You let out a surprised moan at the same time that your thighs jerk from his sudden movements. 

“I’m close, baby,” you tell Heeseung. 

Your eyes roll back when you feel him thrust his hips up to meet your bounces. 

“Me too, angel,” Heeseung replies before kissing you on the lips. 

He grips your hips tightly, keeping you steady as he thrusts faster to reach your desired orgasms.

His grip on your thighs leave red pleasurable marks that have you biting your lip and digging your nails into his skin. 

At the sounds of your headboard banging against the wall and your skin slapping together, you’re brought over the edge simultaneously.

You let out an obscene moan as Heeseung fills your pussy to the hilt with his cum. 

After bouncing on his dick one last time, you lie your body against his.

You and Heeseung lie in silence, both catching your breath and coming down from your high.

Heeseung gently massages the skin he marked while also pressing soft kisses on your shoulder and neck.

“Wait here for a second," Heeseung whispers softly in your ear, lifting you off him and onto the bed so he can stand.

He walks over to your ensuite bathroom and turns on the faucet in your bathtub. You watch as he waits for the tub to fill up with water before adding your favourite bath products.

Heeseung walks over to you and lifts you into his arms. He carries you to the bathroom and gently places you in the bathtub. Afterward, he climbs in with you.

You sit still, allowing him to smother soap all over you–letting his original plan of cleaning you both up work for a bit. 

Once he feels your ass grinding against him and your hand slowly trailing down to his length, all of his previous plans vanish as he responds to your smutty motions just beneath the water’s surface. 

•••

You wake up the next morning on top of Heeseung’s sleeping figure.

Your arms are loosely wrapped around his shoulders, his hands gripping your waist, and your legs are intertwined with his.

Looking up slightly to see Heeseung’s face, you can’t help but trace the outlines of his features.

You drag your finger from his soft, wavy black hair to the outline of his ear, then down his jaw and chin. Your eyes shift to his lips, and you can’t help but touch them softly, too.

Heeseung stirs awake from your movements, and his eyes slowly flutter open.

He tenses, his brows furrowing for a second, wondering who is touching him. He only relaxes when he sees that it’s you. 

“Morning, pretty,” Heeseung says, his voice raspy. He smiles at you before grasping your hand and pulling it from his face to place it on the pillow beside him.

With the same hand, he gently holds your face and gives you a soft kiss on your lips.

You return it, but with urgency, propping yourself to sit upright afterward. 

“What's wrong?” Heeseung asks, concern filling his voice at your sudden change in mood.

Your back straightens, and your eyes wander around the room—a nervous habit you have that Heeseung knows all too well about.

He brings his hand to your exposed leg, running his thumb back and forth on your thigh encouragingly.

“About last night...that was a mistake. Friends don’t have sex—hell, best friends don’t either! We also can't blame it on the fact that we're dating because our relationship is fake.” You explain to him.

Silence meets you, and you keep your head down, staring at his hand, too nervous to look up at him.

While your mind races with the worst possible outcomes, Heeseung interrupts your train of thought by holding your chin and making you face him.

“Look at me, angel.”

Your eyes flicker to his, meeting his solemn stare.

"You're right, we took things a bit too far considering this is just a fake relationship.

But what if I don’t want it to be fake? I enjoyed our intimate moment, and surely, so did you." Your flushed cheeks give him an answer, making him smile fondly at you.

With his voice soft and his face much closer to yours, he admits,

"I’ve spent so long hiding the fact that I like you. You gave me the opportunity to be your boyfriend these past couple of weeks—even if it’s been fake—and I took it!

I cherished you, took you on dates, gave you gifts, and showed you off to my friends and family just like a real boyfriend would." He pauses, his eyes searching yours for a reaction.

"I want to call it quits on our little game. I no longer want to be your boyfriend just for the sake of our fake dating agreement, but rather your boyfriend in an actual relationship, so I can officially call you mine."

"So what do you say? Are you in?" Heeseung asks, staring intently at you.

When he sees a smile slowly grow on your lips, he lets out a smile of his own.

"I’m in."

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[sunnysilver8]

The lost OceanGate "sub" is especially horrifying to me, because I actually went into the Titan itself while it was on land. At the time it had only been used for research, but while talking to the OceanGate staff they said they had plans to take civilians down to see the wreckage.

It's not a submarine, it's a tiny, virtually featureless tube. You cannot stand. You can barely sit without touching knees to another person. There is one teeny tiny peephole to see the ocean, and a few screens. And you get locked in it from the outside. It was terrifying, and I was only in it for ten minutes. As someone with thlassophobia, I could never imagine someone would willingly entering the Titan to go to the depths of the ocean, even for research purposes.

I've seen people saying those on board deserve what happened to them because they decided to pay to visit/desecrate a grave site. Let me be clear- I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemies. One of the people on board is a TEENAGER. I desperately hope the vessel will be found on the surface and the people will be able to be rescued, but I think it is unlikely. This tiny 22- foot craft would have had to been able to surface, and then it will have to be found in a vast ocean within 2 days now, or else everyone will suffocate. Even if they're found at the bottom of the ocean alive, getting them to the surface within the current time limit will be near impossible.

Spending four days in the Titan, knowing rescue is unlikely and you will choke when oxygen runs out, would be hell on earth. To me, it would be preferable to die instantly in a depressurization scenario.

Anyways, that's just my two cents. I'm open to questions about my personal experience with OceanGate, but obviously be respectful in regards to the people currently stuck in the Titan.

[chosobeee]

Sukuna is secretly a sap for soft domestic moments with you. Even if you can never get him to admit it, he doesn’t hide it as well as he thinks he does. 

He’ll never admit how cozy he feels lying on the couch with you as you read a book. The crackling fire is a soothing lullaby as the time passes, a warm and fuzzy heart beating in his chest as he gazes down at you in his lap. Your eyes wide with anticipation, impatient finger tapping the edge of the book, until you’re finally able to turn the page again, just as enthralled with this page as the last. He’ll never understand your love for reading, but he won’t complain when it’s essentially a free pass to hold you all throughout the night. 

He’ll never admit how much he loves it when you ask him for help—in any scenario really—but especially the little domestic things people don’t often think of. Asking him to reach a dish up high, to unscrew the lid of a jar that’s too tight, to grab you a towel when you forgot to bring one to the bath, to help you find your phone charger that you’ve lost for the millionth time that week.  The pout on your lips and the almost timid way you ask makes his heart flutter in his chest, he feels a swell of pride knowing he’s the one you come to for help. Sure, he’ll grumble and huff and roll his eyes, but as soon as his back is turned to you his face burns a bright crimson red at the butterflies in his belly.

He’ll never admit the warm feeling in his chest when you come home from work exhausted and grumpy, just to kick your shoes off and silently curl up in his arms on the couch. No words are needed, he knows you just want to be held, and he’s more than happy to deliver. His hands offer you comfort, one stroking your back, while the other brushes through your hair. He’ll give you soft kisses to your temple, lingering for as long as he can between each one, savoring the moment. If you’re lucky, he’ll hum a soft tune, his chest rumbling against yours, lulling you to sleep. Being your safe space is an irreplaceable feeling, one he wouldn’t trade for the world. 

He’ll never admit the amount of fun he has decorating your shared home for holidays and events. The way your face lights up at the cute new decor you found at the store, asking him where he thinks the best place to put it would be. He’ll give you a shrug and an, “I don’t care,” but his eyes will point over to the empty space on one of the shelves of a cabinet you had yet to fill. Using a step stool to hang up lights or banners has him chuckling and teasing you, knowing damn well he could help you do it without the cursed contraption. He just thinks it’s cute that even with the step stool you have to stand on the tips of your toes to reach where you need to be.

He’ll never admit the peace he feels as he does basic chores with you, like doing laundry, washing the dishes, tidying your living space, making the bed, etcetera. He acts like it’s the end of the world, whining and complaining the whole time, but he’ll do most of the work anyways, without being asked to. He just wants to be in your presence. Something warm erupts in his belly when he notices you eyeing him from the kitchen counter while he scrubs a cup with a soapy sponge. He’ll tsk and ask, “What’re you lookin’ at?” and when you reply in a loving tone, “You,” his saliva gets stuck in his throat, damn near choking him. 

Sukuna isn’t a soft or even a kind person, but something in him feels different whenever you’re around. He feels almost normal, like he’s being seen as an individual with his own likes and interests, and not just the king of curses. In all his years he’s never met someone who makes him feel as at home and as safe as you do. The emotions that stir in his heart whenever you speak, whenever you look at him, hell, whenever you breathe; they’re unlike anything he’s ever felt before. 

It’s a soft, gentle, and domestic kind of love, one that can’t be easily replaced or replicated. One that runs deeper than flesh and blood, deeper than even the soul can reach. He would give anything to continue to have days like these with you, forever until the end of time.

He knows he’s in deep, and he wouldn’t want it any other way. But he will never admit that.

wc: ~800

i cannot get this man out of my head, help me.

[pomefioredove]

hey so can I possibly have a scenario where Azul reveals his octopus form to his s/o and s/o is surprised, but doesn’t mind it. When he keeps being unsure and hides under water, s/o just dives into the water right next to him and kisses him under water? They can’t breathe under water unlike Azul being human.

this is so sweet!! I hope you don't mind, I did a fic instead of headcanons cause it felt right to me

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ "I'd owe you"

summary: in the context of a first kiss type of post: short fic characters: azul additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, established relationship

It's not that Azul is nervous.

Of course not. He's long gotten over the "crush" phase of your relationship. No more butterflies or blushes when he sees you, and for the better.

You're... a part of his life now.

He's not a fool, though.

He knows that each phase of the relationship comes with a different test to pass. And he has passed; the butterflies, the blushing and stammering, the confession, the first date, all with flying colors and his usual bravado.

Now, a month in, he knows the next is imminent.

He is NOT nervous!

He wants to... to be prepared, that's all. But he can't put it off forever.

"Is this strange for you?" he asks, neck-deep in the water.

You, beautiful, effervescent in the moonlight, are sitting on the dock, kicking your legs back and forth. It's high tide, and dark. "No,"

Somehow, in his mind, he thought this would be fine.

"Are you certain? We could go back to school, if you'd like," he says, hopeful you'll change your mind.

"I'm sure," Damn it.

"You haven't let me see you yet, anyway."

Damn it, damn it. Was being in the water in his natural form not enough?

Azul curses himself again. He did agree to this, foolish as it was.

Hesitantly, he lifts one, just one tentacle out of the water. He's trying very hard to keep calm, but he feels like he's being crushed.

You don't react. At all. No teasing, sure, but no reassurance, no smiling, not even that look of awe you so often have. He suddenly feels much colder than the water, and, without thinking, goes to hide.

Again.

The last thing he sees are your eyes, widened in surprise, and then he's underwater.

Azul knows he'll have to come out eventually. He can't just leave you alone on the dock. And he has an exam first thing in the morning, anyway.

But for now, he'd like to wallow. And so he will.

Of course, he should have known better than to think he'd get away with that. In seconds, the surface tension of the water breaks, his calm interrupted by you, you, of course you, suddenly with him.

Azul wants to say something, he wants to hide, but before he can even move, your hands are on his cold cheeks. And then, as if it were the easiest thing in the world, you're kissing him.

The world stops.

For the first time in a long time, he doesn't know what to do.

So, he lets you lead. It's... sort of nice. In a way. Then it sort of feels like you're holding your breath, which is a little- oh, right.

He comes back to his senses, grabs your shoulders, and swims you to the surface.

"Look at you," he sighs. "You're shivering. We need to get you back to school before you catch something."

You say nothing. You're smiling.

Azul sighs again. It's like you hadn't heard a word he said. "Too late for that, then. What are you staring at?"

"You're beautiful,"

His hearts stop. He doesn't respond; if he tries, he knows he'll just make a fool of himself.

Of course. After he was so confident he'd left this awkward phase behind, you manage to give him butterflies all over again.

Finally, he clears his throat. "...Thank you,"

"...But don't think that'll excuse you from drying off and getting warm. I won't have you sick on my behalf. I'd owe you."

Your smile warms with something he recognizes, but can't think of now.

"I think you already do,"

[spookyboywhump]

The thing that I feel like people need to understand about whump is that it’s inevitable that some people are gonna be into it sexually and it’s inevitable that for some people it’s also a kink and it’s inevitable that some people fantasize about whump scenarios. And that’s fine. There ain’t nothing wrong with that, if that makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to interact with those people, there is a block button for a reason.

But just because it makes you uncomfortable don’t mean it’s wrong or bad. You can’t come to a community for weirdos, that runs on art and writing made by weirdos, and then get all upset when hey! There’s weirdos around here! The person who writes whump because they think it’s hot ain’t more weird than the person who writes whump because it helps them vent, and that person ain’t any weirder than the person who writes whump just because they think it’s neat. By the standards of most people outside the whump community, we’re ALL weird for enjoying it at all, so there’s no sense in getting all high and mighty because you believe you enjoy whump in the most pure and moral way possible, unlike those “degenerates” so to say. And honestly, if you aren’t mature enough to understand the simple fact that just because someone likes something in fiction, or just because someone likes to fantasize about something, that absolutely does not mean they want it in real life, then you probably aren’t mature enough to be having these discussions about whump/kink and whether it’s “okay” or not if someone gets off to it anyway.

[tubbytarchia]

Doc and Jimmy brainrot part 1 lmao oh no

Basically "What if Doc was in the Life games and Jimmy triggered his parental instincts again". You guys will see my vision. I don't care what it takes. You will see this very specific vision I have god damn it if it's the last thing I do

This is all I have to use as propaganda right now but some ideas and justification below cut!!

Been imagining a lot of Doc/Jimmy interactions both in a traffic and HC context, both of which I'd love to draw for but obvs this for now is 3rd life and I want to draw a little something for each Life series. You'll see!!

The general idea is inspired by a moment from one of the Decked Out streams in which Jimmy calls for Etho and Doc's all "you're triggering my parental instinct... I wanna take you into my hand and take you to a safe place" yep that's it that's the whole inspiration!!

Jimmy deserves love and he does get it to various degrees ofc (Tango, Bad Boys etc) but man... It's so fun to me to imagine Doc in traffic, I think he claimed that he didn't want to be part of the life games because he was afraid of being too competitive (or so I heard), but god it's so fun to imagine big scary mad scientist goat man in that scenario and him probably going at it on his own a lot of the time, but this god forsaken mf Jimmy knows exactly how to unintentionally trigger his parental instincts. I want Doc to subtly take Jimmy under his wing especially as Jimmy keeps dying first. So maybe Jimmy is a bit incompetent and loud as far as he knows, but he sees that he's trying his best and the dad in him can't help but intervene just a tiny bit (and I do mean just a tiny bit) as the games go on. Yes I'm just gonna shove Doc into the Life Games just because I wish this dynamic could have happened and I beg you to put up with it!!

For the above drawing specifically since, sigh, I'm slow and that's all I have to offer rn... it's of course 3rd life, starting off. I imagine Jimmy's wings sprouting during that, because the whole "canary curse" began with the Life Games etc. And this post isn't about FH but just for context as I imagine it, Scott who doesn't like unpredictability convinces him to clip his wings (thanks Bree) because Jimmy's not a proper avian (unlike Grian who has a more "airborne" body, bird feet etc rather than just... wings) and he'd never be able to take flight anyway, those wings would only encumber him. (And then Jimmy keeps clipping them himself until DL Ranchers but cough this post isn't about that). I imagine the avians (for my specific roster, just Grian) have their wings magically clipped anyway just enough to prevent flight and make the games fair. Doc ofc isn't avian himself but he knows that Grian greatly frowns upon the act of willingly clipping wings so when he sees that Jimmy's quickly growing wings have been clipped as well, he can't help but ask, because why would that be necessary while his wings are so small anyway? And Jimmy's response triggers a wee bit of fatherly concern in him but thats it for 3rd life woo

For the rest I just wanna draw more tiny moments of interaction until I get to Secret Life, I guess!! The brainrot is really fucking strong guys

[bloodmoonmuses]

come back to me | mark lee

summary: your boyfriend, mark, drunkenly recounts the day the two of you met. (mostly to prove to haechan and johnny that love does, in fact, exist. even in the most unlikely of places.)

genre: mark lee x reader, established relationship kinda... but, like, also a meet cute? young love and all that jazz lol

It’s cold outside, the beginnings of winter trickling in with bitter fervor, yet you’re warm. Or rather, being warmed by the illusion of heat that courses through your veins: liquid courage. Now on your second bottle of soju, your form feels pliant, watery even, as you sway in the wind of your friends’ joy. 

In a booth (the leather of which is crackling at the seams) that forms a sort of semi circle, sits you, Mark, Johnny and Haechan. The wooden table before you is littered in plastic shot “glasses” and fried chicken wings that have been picked clean, and the bar is quite lively despite it nearing one in the morning. You lie your head against Mark’s shoulder, lost in the feeling of his muscles tensing and relaxing repeatedly beneath it.

“You good?” Mark whispers to you, shimming slightly as if to jostle a response out of you.

The words that escape your mouth feel fuzzy on your tongue, staticky around the edges. “Never been better.”

For some reason, the night has taken a nostalgic turn, fueled by the alcohol in everyone’s system. Haechan and Johnny have been arguing about their love lives for the better part of an hour. It never fails to amuse you how much they like bickering simply for the sake of it. You tuned out about ten minutes ago when Haechan brought up Johnny’s commitment issues only to be met with a rebuttal about him using humor as a coping mechanism. Both comments clearly strike a nerve in the men respectively, deciding to psychoanalyze their exes in chronological order in an attempt to disprove the validity of one another's assertions. 

“I don’t like that we can’t make fun of Mark right now,” Johnny confesses when he’s finished talking about an ex who turned out to be a closeted sasaeng, turning his attention to you and Mark.

Haechan scrunches his nose, gazing upon you as well. “Look at you two… All cozied up- it’s disgusting.”

“Hey man,” Mark starts, “don’t blame me for the lack of love in your life.” You punctuate his declaration with a kiss on the cheek, giddy and lovey-dovey in your drunken state. “See?” 

Johnny pretends to gag.

“How’d you meet anyway?” Haechan asks, “-so I can avoid any scenario involving… that.”

“Mark hasn’t told you the story in, like, excruciating detail?” you scoff. “He’s told everyone.”

Haechan shakes his head. 

“Oh God, don’t get him started,” Johnny groans. Mark sits upright, effectively knocking your head off of his shoulder, ecstatic with the chance to relay the way you met each other in its sappy glory.

“Spring,” Mark starts. “I was seventeen, so I had just debuted a year before, and-”

The cherry blossoms. They were stunning, you remember. Glistening and quivering under the weight of all the raindrops that had accumulated on them. The sheen of puddles scattered on the roads and sidewalks... You took the bus to work, a little cafe job you worked while finishing up your requirements at the international school you attended, and during that time of year, those bus rides were some of the most peaceful times in your day to day life. 

You think back to your youth, bright eyes aged only seventeen years, and how the world then seemed filled to brim with possibility. One day in particular, a chilly one towards the end of spring, you remember watching Mark enter the bus, his boyishness evident in his untied shoelaces and clunkily carried guitar case. On his back was a spiderman backpack, you remember vividly, and his hair is frizzy from how light he’s bleached it. He comes off a bit frazzled as you watch him stumble into a seat, precariously balancing a flimsy pair of headphones on his head, and settle in it with his knees bent. 

Once he’s gathered his bearings, he takes off his backpack and retrieves a notebook and pen, placing it on his knees, and begins to write frantically- like if he doesn't put pen to paper in this exact nanosecond, the idea will leave and never return. In a world of sloth and languidness, you’re fascinated by his urgency. You take off your own headphones to hear how he sounds in the context of silence, it is seven in the morning after all, and it only draws you in further. The scratching of the pen against the paper, orchestrated by the humming that just barely escapes his lips lulling you into a state of hypnosis.

Periodically, he furrows his brows, tries out a different melody, then writes some more- over and over again, until the pattern becomes more fluid. More succinct. Like the beginnings of a fully fledged song. He’s smiling now, and you find yourself unknowingly mirroring his joy, the fuzziness of it spreading up your neck like a campfire consuming its kindling. You’re enraptured. 

You want to live inside his head. What a superpower to have; to breathe life into written language. And then suddenly, he’s stuffing his notebook into his backpack as quickly as he had taken it out. His stop must be coming up soon, you had thought to yourself. 

After putting his feet back on the ground, he gingerly places his palms against the bus window- as if to test its temperature. When deemed cool enough, he exhales against the glass, quickly etching a heart onto its foggy surface with a squeak. His fingers are calloused, that much you can tell even from across the bus, and he’s tired- if the bags under his eyes are any indication. Then, the bus crawls to a stop, and he stands. Again, you’re mirroring him instantly, body moving before your mind can catch up. It’s not your stop, yours is another three down, but you exit nonetheless, too enthralled by the boy in front of you to let him out of your sight.

You walk about a block, maintaining about a ten foot distance between the two of you, and watch him hobble down the sidewalk with his huge guitar case. He grunts occasionally, adjusting and readjusting his baggage when the weight becomes too much, humming all the while. Until, of course, he turns around, tearing the headphones off of his head, and asks, “Are you following me?!” in a frustrated huff. 

You stop in your tracks. Oh wait, you had thought, you are sorta following him. Well, the cafe is in this direction technically but-

“You’re not one of those people with a fansite, are you? Look, dude, I know we debuted last year, but I want a normal life just like-”

“I’m not a fan. I mean, not yet, I guess. Well- no. I was just… I’m not following you. Mostly.” you stammer. 

Mark scratches his head. “Then, what are you doing…?”

“You were writing a song on the bus,” you look at the ground, staring at your shoes in search of some solace, reprieve from the then stranger’s prying eyes. How did you think this would turn out any other way? “I thought maybe, you could… sing it. Like, out loud.”

Mark sighs. “Look, dude, I have practice and-”

“Right. I’m sorry for being weird, you just looked… Nevermind. Have a nice day- sorry to bother you.” You turn on your heels, in the complete opposite of the cafe you’re supposed to be going to, and make a break for it. As you trek up the hill, you shatter your reflection over and over again, the splashing of puddles beneath your feet the only sound tethering you to reality. 

“It’s not finished-” Mark starts, voice cutting through the rustling leaves and bustling city with piercing clarity.  You’re frozen, still facing away from the hypnotist behind you. “-but I could show you the idea. Because that’s what it is right now. Just an idea.”

You turn to face him. “Um. Sure. If that’s okay.”

Haechan interjects Mark’s storytelling, words warbling from his completion of a third bottle of soju for the night. “No way you actually sat down and played the song for-”

“Shh!” Johnny says, “This is the best part.”

“See, I knew you secretly loved this mushy-gushy stuff,” you say. 

Mark giggles. “So, like I was saying-”

You sit on a bench freckled cherry blossom petals and just-dried droplets of dew, knee bouncing nervously when Mark plops down beside you. Mark sets his guitar case down, flat in front of him, and opens it. Retrieving his notebook from his backpack once again, he places it on your lap, surprisingly enough. Wordlessly, he puts his guitar in his lap, throwing the strap over his neck and shoulders, and cranes his neck to re-familiarize himself with his feverishly scrawled ideas. Just before he strums the first note, he says, “Just an idea. Keep that in mind.”

Then he sings. A mix and hesitant laments of love lost, then found, yearning for the past, but hopeful for the future. But other words are not words at all. They’re more, like, messily sung runs. Like he’s sketching lightly, so he can erase later. He’s got a hook. He sings it three times, and the way his Adam's apple bobbles is now permanently etched in your mind. When he’s done, he opens his eyes slowly, assessing the damage done. He almost looks surprised that you’re still sitting there.

You whisper, voice whisked away in the gentle breeze, “I never asked your name.”

“Mark. Just Mark.”

“Nice to meet you, ‘Just Mark’.”

“What do you think? How do you feel?” Two entirely different questions, both of which hit your ear in a way that makes your stomach leap- or maybe it’s the gravelly timbre of his voice and unsure eyes.

“Good,” Mark’s eyes spur you on further, silently asking you to elaborate, “The song sounds good and I feel good.”

“Is that the only adjective you know? ‘Good’?”

“I know a lot of adjectives. I’m just… nervous. So, yeah.”

Mark grabs his notebook and returns it to his backpack, packing up his guitar as well. As he stands to leave, he turns and says, “Your name.”

“What?”

“You never told me your name.”

“_______,” you reply meekly.

“And your hand,” he urges, “give it to me.” You extend your arm and Mark delicately grasps your wrist. Then, Mark nervously scrawls his number on your palm, pen digging into your skin slightly. 

You can hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

“If you have any thoughts beyond it being ‘good’, gimme a call.” And just like that, he’s gone, running down the hill to make it to practice on time.

As Mark ends his retelling of events with a wistful hum, Haechan chortles. “Yeah. You two disgust me.”