#i am cut out for literacy

[seneon]

why do you not do smaus? you only have like one smau posted

because i am dry in text and i cannot convey another soul's persona

[ninesugars]

if you claim that you like the vinsmokes and don’t ever talk about reiju i’m stealing something out of your fucking house!!!!

[minakoaiinos]

Animating this season like you can't have the slightest bit of jest and god forbid jesting about yaoi

[magiefish]

This post is making me increasingly realise that people on the Internet are terrible at understanding over-exaggeration, so I'm just going to clarify: I'm not actually that mad, I just thought it would be funny to write a text post pointing out a character's very flawed but human decision in a disproportionately aggressive way wherein the joke itself was supposed to be the unwarranted anger towards a fictional person. If people don't get the joke, that's on me, maybe I'm just not that funny: on the other hand I feel like the 'clown' at the end should've tipped some people off? Anyway, what I'm saying is that people can stop sending me snarky replies to this post acting like it's a real "gotcha" to notice that the tone of this post is, indeed, quite aggrieved while missing the fact that if it's that obvious, it's probably a joke.

I’m honestly so mad at Alice right now. Like, yeah, okay, I get that you really care about Sam, but when Collin CALLS you on a PHONE in the MIDDLE of the NIGHT to BEG you for HELP, you DO NOT proceed to FUCKING IGNORE HIM and go chasing after the guy who ALREADY HAS SOMEONE ELSE WITH HIM and can just LISTEN TO YOUR VOICEMAILS. YOU CLOWN.

[sweetie147]

Do people like... check where their information online is coming from? Oh wait why would they it's the gd internet 😐

Just saw someone with a post that claimed a hospital in Canada was unveiling plans to allow minors (so under 18 years of age) with terminal illnesses to consent to medically assisted death (allegedly) with the caption: very evil-hearted.

This is already setting off massive alarm bells just from the wording alone, so I do some minor digging, and what do I find? They ID as a born-again Christian.

Now look. I have nothing against religious people in general, and not all religious people are socially conservative, but like...

You do realize they're probably just stirring the pot with ragebait, right?

Especially considering the OG article was a poor-quality screenshot AND there were no links to said article in the OG post.

Most posts about controversial topics that I've seen making legitimate points on Tumblr always have a link to the article, clear and good quality screenshots of pertinent points in the article, and a long caption that explains the article more in-depth.

This had none of the above. And oh boy, does it smell fishy 🤔

[blueycarpenter]

little star

Ever since Cairo submitted her midterm assignment, things haven't been the same between you two.

fandom: MILLER'S GIRL (2024) content: x reader a/n: i had posted this on a previous account, in case it looks familiar

Cairo hadn’t been herself lately. You two had talked for hours for the past couple of weeks. You had grown closer and more intimate with each other. Then, all of the sudden, everything changed.

Cairo wasn’t around anymore. She never called or wrote. It was ever since she turned in her midterm assignment for Mr. Miller that ties had been cut. Due to her tight deadlines, you two had agreed not to see each other until after she had finished the midterm, but it had been 3 days since the due date… She had been a ghost.

You called Winnie that morning—the dawn of the 4th day after. She explained the discord that had accumulated and how Cairo had taken the beating to heart. But she was the strongest person you had ever met. She couldn’t be broken.

Could she?

Winnie had said a lot of things. 

Cairo was emotional. Cairo was resentful. Cairo was heartbroken. Cairo was alive, at least.

No more alive than the works she’d create from a blinking cursor, the lead of a pencil, or the ink of a pen, though. She’d masterminded such beauty that reflected nothing but the world around her. Though when she had unlatched the door to let the monsters in, the rain poured and the lightning struck. 

You weren’t as talented a writer as she was, but who could be? Between those paragraphs of literacy and media was blood. It was a rich kind of blood that lured you to Cairo Sweet in the first place. It was reckless and mysterious, but you’d never felt more grounded before you laid eyes on her. Heard her speak… Learned her heart… And you missed that more than everything.

Was there Sweet to her name anymore? Or was there just Cairo? 

Winnie said Cairo had been alone. She said she had wanted to be alone.

But alone meant misery and displacement. Defeat and loneliness. Longing and torture. And Cairo didn’t deserve that. You didn’t care what she’d done or what she didn’t do. She was your north star. She shone brighter than anything you’d ever known, and therefore, nothing could ever change that.

So, you showed up to her house after that 6 AM phone call with Winnie Black. You needed to see her. Not just because you missed her more than anything, but because you couldn’t bear the thought of her discouraging her potential and honesty. Not in her wondrous existence.

Cairo didn’t fear anything, you’d learned, so you let yourself in and found her sitting in the darkness of her room, three cigarette butts on the floor and her journal open on the bed. Through the shadows, you found the top of her head over the other side of the bed. “Cairo?”

She didn’t move a muscle, but she did answer. “If you’ve come to talk, don’t bother. I’ve heard enough, and the sincerity I’ve expressed has been more than society is willing to tolerate. Honesty is feared by many. It’s tragic and hateful, yet it’s a quality that etiquette claims to be most valuable.” Then, she managed a wry scoff. “Hypocrites.” 

“Cairo, I don’t care what happened,” you replied. “I haven’t heard from you in days. I just missed you, and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

She actually gave a laugh this time. “Aren’t I?”

As convincing as she may seem to other people, you had learned her better than most, because you had to figure her out the hard way, through phone calls and communication of words, not expressions. You didn’t have to see her face to determine how she truly felt. You could hear it. Dare you say, you could feel it. 

There was a tear in her voice as she spoke. And it led you rounding the bed to find her knees up, while she stared at the wall ahead. Those beautiful eyes were slow, like shards of obsidian as they raised to meet yours without a blink.

“Y/N…”

You dropped to your knees and pulled her into a hug. She didn’t reciprocate, but you held her for everything you were worth. You rested your cheek against her head, your fingers gently pulling the small tangles from her hair and your other hand corralling her back, clutching her shirt like she was going to disappear into the darkness. “Cairo, listen to me…” you whispered. Her warm breath filtered through your shirt. “I don’t care what anyone says. About you… About me… About anything… You are the greatest soul anyone could ever dream of having in their school, in their class, in their life, in anything.”

A warm, damp feeling found its way to your collarbone, and you knew it was tears. And all of the sudden, her weight was recognizable against your embrace. She felt so small in your arms that didn’t even hold all of her. It was the first time you realized just how petite she was for an 18 year-old girl with an extraordinary personality. “You know, to me… you’re above everything in this world. I’ve only seen people wander the earth, dreaming of what it’d be like to fly, but you… you fly, Cairo. You’re that star in the sky everyone dreams of being.” Your chest ached from how serious those words coming from your heart were. You then lifted your head to place a loving kiss to hers, because just holding her wasn’t enough anymore. 

Cairo sniffled, but didn’t say anything. However, she had managed to unbend her legs to hold you against her. And when you gently pulled away to have her look up at you and you, down at her, the wet streaks against her cheeks shimmered in the halflight.

You wiped them away and gave her a small smile. “Beautiful…” You kissed her forehead. “Magical…” You kissed her cheek. “Wonderful, you are.” The next place you were dying to heal with your lips caught your eyes, though it was merely small motions of your irises. Instead, you brushed her hair aside and pressed your foreheads together. Her eyes shut and for a moment, she looked peaceful as you finished with, “Yes, you are…”

She opened her eyes, now only tainted with a thin gloss. But then she managed the smallest, sweetest smile you’d ever seen. Her Cairo Sweet smile. “Thank you,” she said, her voice only a little above a whisper, mostly steady but with the slightest crack.

“It’s true,” you whispered back. Seeing her small smile was enough for you to give her your own, though yours was out of admiration, pride, and love. She truly was a star. 

She was your little star.

Then, her smile faded and she glanced away. It was almost shy, which surprised you. “Y/N?” Her voice grew a little stronger.

“Mm-hmm?” Whatever she wanted was hers.

“Kiss me.”

There was no hesitation as you granted her wish. Little did she know though, it was your wish too. You had wished upon a star, because that was the old saying. Wishing on a star was a chance that didn’t come often, especially when that one star was a shooting star. Yet, it hadn’t passed you up, and there was no way in hell you were going to pass it up.

Cairo’s lips were soft, but you could tell there were stories imprinted on them. They weren’t ex-stories, per se, but they were mysteries that you wondered how hard they would be to solve. How many pages would you have to read to uncover them? How much would she have to write to reveal them?

Only time would tell. But every journey starts somewhere.

And the best had a star to guide them.

[bimbolita]

I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

[katyspersonal]

Guys oh my gosh hgbghgg I am a GENIUS! I've finally figured an explanation for, at the first glance, unreasonable vitriol towards Godrick in the fandom! I should have became a psychology professor for this one but don't let me get ahead of myself ok so:

Like.. This can't be the fact that Godrick literally steals peoples limbs to attach to himself, right? Rykard does a similar thing - consumes people and makes them a part of his body, as all those arms sticking out of him are those of his victims. Also both of these characters appear hard to take seriously upon introduction; "i cOmAnD tHeE KNEEL" and "tOGETHAAAA" are equally silly xd But Rykard is really loved, right?

The difference between the two might happen because Rykard is that cool badass rebel against oppressive system, whereas Godrick willingly perpetuates it. But that can't be this piece, and this also can't be Tarnished-hunting. Because another character who simps for the Golden Order and is racist Tarnished-hunts is Morgott, who is also very loved. Adored, even!

I thought maybe Godrick hit the 'disrespecting women' nerve upon insulting Malenia, which is already a sore topic in the fandom? 🤔 But this is likely not true. Not only he himself is definitely not an incel, since Grafted Scions (his children) exist, but also it is all likely an insecurity. Godrick had that line where he called Malenia and Miquella "rank and malformed" when Godrick himself could be considered a disgrace ( 🥁 ) for the Golden Bloodline with his frail, weak build. He has large insecurities that he takes out on other discriminated people, so that certainly wasn't her gender. Again, many other loved characters also disrespect us for who we are, he isn't outstanding. Nor it is him being "pathetic" for escaping the battle he could not win in disguise or kissing Malenia's feet in apology: the 'pathetic old man' is ABSOLUTELY one of the favorite men types on Tumblr and Twitter! The girls (gender neutral) LOVE the 'pathetic old man', that vibe could not have provoked the hate.

Finally, it can't be the authors intention. Miyazaki confirmed Godrick to be a sympathetic character. So, you should feel bad for his situation of continuing the glory of that imposing bloodline that he is not fit for, and NPCs that dislike him are either within their own right to do so, or straight up hypocritical (like Kenneth). Subtexts, media literacy and so on can't be used as an arguement for why Godrick would be intended as repulsive character.

So... Yeah, it seems like there is no real reason for why Godrick should always be singled out, only brought up as a laughing stock, always brought in negative and mocking context in polls and headcanons compilation and bring his fans being seen as weirdos by an effect, right? Whatever reasoning might be the first responce is very easy to debunk! I think I've finally found an actual reasonable and sympathetic explanation as to why fandom dislikes and bullies him so much more than any other character that explains EVERYTHING! I am going to go under cut as this is the result of long, meticulous thinking and this post is already getting long, so here it is:

💫🌺 S K I L L!!! I S S U E!!! 💕🔥💫

[stupidlittlespirit]

Cutie patootie again 🥺🥺

Lmao I'm sorry I'm always bringing Ford discourse but like !!!!! You're one of the only people online who like sees the bad in every character!! So many fans have been saying how Stanley has never done wrong and fuck Ford but like it's only cause Stanley is a guy who shows very obviously he loves his family and we got 2 whole seasons with the guy

This is probably why I really am hoping Alex gets the go ahead with a sequel! Stan and Ford show to flesh out their relationship more. Like I know Stanford really shows his feelings in the journal but I swear most of people's literacy is fucking dead 😭😭😭 showing will probably be a lot better than telling

I guess I feel really bad for Ford cause he's a victim who isn't uwu I am traumatized. Like there's NOTHING wrong with traumatized people being very teary eyed and soft spoken individuals. Fuck it honestly that's me to a fucking t. But other victims are rude and they do get angry easily. Ford reminds me a lot of Steven from the Haunting of Hill House. They just express their grief and trauma in a much more anger and sarcastic emotional response than others. And like it pretty much confirms in the Book of Bill that Stanford was gonna keep the book a secret also!! He says at first it's to protect his family but later admits it's because he still feels shame in having Bill trick him. In believing all of his lies. He still feels shame for almost causing the apocalypse and letting his pride separate from his brother for 40 years at this point!! Idk idk I'm rambling again but I honestly really love characters like Ford that show that victims don't always act the same but they deserve just as much respect and love all the same. They deserve a second chance and they deserve to be happy. 💜

No it's okay anon! I love having these conversations! I'm sorry it took me so long to answer, I've been really busy.

I have no idea if any of this makes sense but I hope it does because it's taken me like 2 and a half hours to write....

TL;DR - In my opinion, the entire show is about cycles of abuse. Ford and Stan are both imperfect victims for different reasons. They suffered abuse differently. Don't look at and judge them from the place that they start at: Do it from where they end up.

TW: Abuse, suicide, discussion of personal irl abuse.

All below the cut:

You're right about us having more information to work with with Stan v. Ford, but I also think people have a tendency to put Stan on a pedestal because he is, ultimately, the more relatable twin. Not many people are on Ford's wavelength in the sense of intelligence (I'm certainly not) and I would venture to say not many people fell through a portal and spent 30 thirty years in different dimensions running from/trying to defeat their arch enemy....

Alongside that, the twins experienced abuse and reacted to it very differently, and it can be hard to examine those differences fairly, and to see why both types are as bad as the other, especially because one is more obvious and likeable than the other.

They remind me a LOT of my familial situation in interchangeable ways.

My life ran parallel to Stan's for a long time (ironically enough Gravity Falls came out when I'd just been kicked out of home) and I had a sibling who was the 'golden child' for my family. I was the screw up black sheep and they were the one with potential.

That designation is neither mine nor my sibling's fault. It's the fault of my family for putting those labels on two kids who really had no chance, right from the day we were born, but who were forced to adopt them regardless. I think Stan and Ford are the same.

Where I suffered more direct abuse (physical, psychological etc) because I was reactive and was left in the firing line as the scapegoat (Stan), my sibling was held close by my parents and 'protected' because they were seen as well behaved and offered my parents what they wanted: Someone to control and push for success (Ford). They were still abusing my sibling, just in a different way.

I spiralled and went on to live a life where I was only ever in danger and at risk. I made my peace very early on in life (I think maybe before I was about 10?) that the people who were supposed to love me unconditionally, couldn't stand me, valued me as lesser than my sibling, and didn't want me. But I wanted to Be Somebody and prove my value and worth to everyone else to make up for that, which meant I fell into the wrong hands and did all I could to try and be that ideal for others in the hopes they wouldn't see me as my parents did.

I separated from my family early and went off alone, despite really always being alone, and was 'okay' with that (spoiler, I was not!). I also suffered abuse in the way Ford did and my sibling in the way Stan did to varying degrees too. We're all rarely aligned with one specific character because abuse is, unfortunately, incredible versatile.

My sibling, however, stayed with my mother (our whole family abused us, but I'll stick with parents now because it's most relevant. Our parents divorced when we were young and my dad was our 'primary abuser', but only because he was more blatant with it) and my sibling went to an excellent school because my family saw their potential and submissiveness as an opportunity. A meal ticket.

Their career and life was facilitated because I suppose my family also wanted them to 'make up for me' and get the kid they'd always wanted out of my sibling, which is a lot of pressure to put on a child. They went on to be successful (still are, I'm very proud of them) whereas I couldn't/can't keep a stable job and turned to sex work to survive (there is nothing wrong with sex work blah blah but being forced into it at a young age does have negative consequences, no matter what anyone says).

My sibling was emotionally and psychologically manipulated but also treated in a way that could be misconstrued as being loved. I would think that for them, that was hard to understand that that wasn't truly the case. I think Ford was the same in that respect, especially when he craves acceptance so much.

Those are both types of abuse but in different ways. My sibling lives with the guilt and shame of being 'the one who didn't get it as bad', and can't quite accept that they were never really loved (which is embarrassing to admit and I think/hope they will come to terms with that one for their own sake), and I live with the childish resentment of them being 'the one my parents never wanted' and with the absolute hatred of how unfairly I was treated by people who were supposed to love me unconditionally.

You can see where this is going, right?

Stan and Ford suffered equally in that same way, all throughout their lives in varying ways, and in my other response to you we talked more in depth about how Ford specifically was manipulated his entire life. I think Ford was made to be responsible at a young age and forced to carry this weight on his shoulders, and then as an adult had that insecurity worsened and coaxed by Bill.

Stan deep down knew his father hated him, and despite still wanting his love, eventually knew he wasn't going to get it. I mean, no one even came to his fake funeral for god's sake. Image how that must feel?

Stan grew to spot the signs of abuse and avoid it to the best of his ability. He was still vulnerable of course, but he was more street smart and clued up after a while. He didn't fall for Bill's flattery because he looked at Bill and saw his father. He recognised abuse.

Me and my sibling are the same.

Now, because of the differences in our abuse, my sibling and I turned out to be very different people. They still interact with my family (although they don't enjoy it but do so out of a sense of guilt and duty, and that they have to take care of them). I have nothing to do with any of them because fuck 'em.

I'm very emotional and can be unstable or rude (I have BPD), but love deeply and am sometimes overtly considerate of other people's feelings to my detriment because no cared about mine. I struggle with needing to be loved and being a chameleon who adapts their personality to those around them in order to be most liked and maximise that. I don't have a real identity, just the one I craft in the moment. I even worked/work in sales because having that ability makes it easy to pick up on people's emotional state and manipulate it, for better or worse. I have also done bad things and been cruel to others, I've also had an inflated ego and sometimes still do. I'm the Stan, for the most part, but I've experienced Bill-like abuse too and been the Ford.

My sibling can be spiteful and often acts like the things that happened me didn't actually happen the way I think they did and they minimise my feelings. They struggle to apologise and also behave in a way that is similar to my abusers, but I don't believe they do that maliciously. I think they don't know any better and haven't had the space to mature and come to terms with that. They have a bit of an ego, too. They're the Ford, mostly.

(This isn't to say I'm none of those things, because I can be and my sibling can be all the things I am at times)

I have to remember that they're still in contact with our abusers and were heavily manipulated against me growing up. They still get the Wormtongue treatment, as we said about Ford. They're still affected. They are also the only person I still see because we're in this together and they genuinely love me (as I do them). They're funny and cool and they love as deeply as I do.

My sibling and I, and Stan and Ford, were both raised in the same barn and we're from the same stock; of course we have the traits of our parents. It would be impossible not to. My sibling and I just learn to smother those parts as best we can as we mature and the process of doing so never really ends. I would say I'm a little better at it than my sibling is, but I'm also older and realised my abuse far sooner than they did. I've had longer to come to terms with it, like Stan did.

Stan was aware of his father's abuse much earlier and although I think he struggled to accept it, he eventually realised much sooner than his brother that he was being abused.

Ford wasn't able to mature because he was so busy working and then surviving. He eventually was forced to come to terms with his abuse by both Bill and by others, and it must have sucked to have that realisation so late in life. I have another family member that that exact thing happened to, and the shame we all feel at being taken advantage like that is immense. That's why post-portal Ford is so different in my mind. It breaks or makes you and it is very embarrassing to accept.

But both of them exacted their resentment and sadness and insecurities out on others: Stan literally scammed people out of their money because he wanted to be rich and committed other crimes That's a really bad thing to do!

Yes, Ford was manipulative and tough on others because he'd been taught to be, and I think he truly believed in his youth that he "turned out fine!" (a favourite one-liner of mine from people who are in denial about their abuse) because he couldn't accept it.

It was wrong of both of them to do the things they did, and there is no excuse for it, but we can understand where that behaviour came from if we examine them both fairly.

What matters is that eventually both Stan and Ford matured into people who recognised why they were in the wrong. They stopped that cycle of abuse by finding love and forgiving one another, and by finding their their family.

Stan and Ford were able to redeem themselves. They both have a plethora of faults but an absolute encyclopedia of positives, too. It just took them a long time to unlearn and they have to continue to unlearn those until they die.

All victims are imperfect victims because there's no such thing as a perfect one. Victims carry shame, victims can be aggressive, victims can repeat the mistakes of their abusers no matter how much they think they don't. Maybe they don't respond to their trauma 'the way that they should' (which is bullshit, by the way. There is no right or wrong way to be a victim).

When I suffered (a different, non family related) major trauma, I wasn't believed (by that same friend I talked about in the other ask) because I hadn't, in their opinion, reacted in the way I supposed to react. I wasn't sad enough or traumatised enough, when in actual fact I was all of those things but was too ashamed and afraid to show it to others until it got so bad that I couldn't hold it in anymore. I protected myself through jokes and being blasé about it.

Ford is a great example of a more obvious imperfect victim. He is a product of his environment and he protects his vulnerabilities with egoism. The most egotistical of us are the most insecure.

Stan is also an imperfect victim, just more obviously so. He was portrayed from the start as likeable and funny, but he is the same as his brother.

Initially Stan was as cantankerous and mean as he was silly, remember. But he changed over time. We get to see the toll his abuse took on him because he learned to come to terms with that shame and told the audience about it through his actions and behaviours. We actually saw his backstory in detail and saw how he learned to love the kids. We saw his vulnerability whereas Ford refuses to and struggles to lower that guard and show his soft spots.

Ford is portrayed in a very specific light that I think does him an injustice at times and contributes to the misunderstanding of his personality.

Ford's vulnerability is hard for him to reveal (to those around him and the audience) because he couldn't afford to be vulnerable during his time in the portal or with Bill. Vulnerability kills when you're not showing it to the right people and when he did show his vulnerable side to Bill (he didn't have the answers he thought he was so capable of having and had to swallow that bitter pill and ask for help), he was betrayed and hurt really awfully.

Ford then went on the exact same journey Stan did when Stan was kicked out of home, except Ford was 30 plus and in an interdimensional nightmare instead of the USA. They both suffered. (And also, the US might as well have been a different dimension for Stan at his young age because it was just a foreign to him as space was to Ford. Earth is cruel no matter where you are).

Anyway.... All of that is to say, nobody comes out of abuse clean.

Some of us become unlikeable and unfriendly, and sometimes even abusive ourselves. A lot of us learn to survive in any way we can and sometimes that is at the detriment of others.

But what really matters is how we unlearn those behaviours and how we grow.

Don't look at and judge Ford or Stan from the place that they start: Do it from where they end up.

I'd also like to add that just because you might be a dick, it doesn't mean you deserve to be abused and I see a lot of people say that Ford deserved what he got, and that pisses me off so fucking badly.

Again: disclaimer these are just my own feelings do not come for me thank u

[itsanotheridiot]

Alrightly as someone who owns LiS, BTS, LiS 2, and TC. I also had given the benefit of the doubt to DeckNine but after seeing multiple clips and leaked information about development from a confirmed ex employee of DN I am officially not buying double exposure.

For anyone in the unknown or don’t want to read my long rant. TLDR: Life is Strange felt victims to Corporation greed ruining game franchise and character alienation

Also side note I do have to be vague about specific of the leaked content due to post with it getting taken down. Also DO NOT HARASS THE VOICE ACTORS OR DEVELOPERS BLAME DECKNINE, SQUARE ENIX, NARRATIVE TEAM AND EXECUTIVES

First thing first the narrative team did not give a fuck about the game from the starts and didn’t do any research and never attempted to understand the characters or their stories so yup just bringing max back for one big old cashgrab and due to their egos of a executive producer and the lack of media analysis and literacy from the narrative team they decided to cut Chloe from the story all together but should we be surprised this is coming from the DN the company that had a controversy about one of their developers trying to sneak into racist symbols into the game and DN who fought against their team from having Alex be the first confirmed bi lead in LiS (saying this cause it’s obvious the male love interest Warren, Elliot ,and Finn was there to appeal to audience but their interest with the lead isn’t as flesh out as the women love interest Chloe, Rachel, and Cassidy)

Anyways How did they write Chloe out you may ask? They had Chloe tell max “she can’t move on so I has to go” and broke them up like that is the most OOC shit ever Chloe the girl who journal entries from 5 years in the form unsend letters to Max. Chloe who canonically in the comic waits 2 years for max to come back to her.

There is a reason they are called partners in time their relationship is crucial to the story and their characters arcs they are linked to take away one of them fundamentally breaks the story because the relationship is at the center of it all

Now I am aware some argue the sacrificing Bae is the moral choice but canonical max by the time of episode 5 wants the town to burn and everyone in it she doesn’t care anymore max is more fucked up then people allow her to be cause she is quiet but while we would sacrificed the bae. Max would never. And trust me this is from someone who also sacrificed Bae but I still understand how important Chloe is to Max’s character

These are a few canon max journals entries these ain’t even all the evidence max has dialogue expressing disgust and hatred for Acadia Bay.

While yes LiS handles heavy topics and tells stories about children with supernatural powers that’s what it is a story and what makes a good story is characters relationship that’s what we connect with not the that’s what makes these heavy topics more personal or easier to handle

LiS wouldn’t be what it is without Chloe and Max’s relationship

LiS 2 wouldn’t be a good story without the wolf brother relationship

BTS expanded the amberprice relationship to make the reveal in the original game hit harder

TC was a interesting case because Alex didn’t have any connects but throughout the story she builds some

LiS is about outcasts craving and finding connect in extreme situations chaos was happening but love still prevailed (romantic, platonic, familial) 

Now away from all the shipping stuff for the moment. The writing in DE from the footage I seen is something like the way they try to make the game seem mature is by making sexual jokes targeted at max but it feels like they are trying to be adult like it feels like jojo siwa’s rebrand the being super sexual because that’s adult like no that’s not (also I’m aware people who experience sexual violence could become hyper sexual due to the trauma but from what I seen in the leaked footage this ain’t it) The pacing is also wonky from what I seen stuff that needed time to set in didn’t get that or they breeze by quickly.

Like comparing DeckNine’s LiS games (BTS and TC) to DONTNOD (LiS and LiS2). BTS to me kinda feel like a fanfic they had a whole game to build off of and expanded on the complexities of the Amberprice relationship which I did really enjoy while having Rachel father be a DA was definitely a writing choice it was vague enough where we can ignore it and it didn’t break the base of LiS too much just made little plot holes Now TC I do think TC is a decent game but is also the blandest out of the LiS games there was a lot of missing potential I feel like they could have done but it does work enough and gave us some nice lore like explaining why Steph and Mike wasn’t in the original game they were out of town or wasn’t at the school. Nice little story moments without stepping on the original too much.

Making a sequel with a beloved character like was a super risky choice one they could have achieved if they had actually cared about the stories and characters. I genuinely thought DeckNine was just hiding Chloe and we was going to get the memorable detective duo again and we could have had a very interesting story about a traumatized max regretting her decision all those years ago and exploring different timelines to revalue if she made the right choice that could have been a good way to expand of how the OG story effect the characters while still respecting both ends but also respecting who the characters are at their core

My last point is also how disrespectful the oversexualized and axing of pricefield is. I would like to remind you that LiS came out in 2015 this was around the time female gaming and female characters in video games were started to be taken seriously JMax and Luc even revealed how at the time Square Enix who gave the game a chance with a female lead that looked like a normal teenage

Also because this game came out in 2015 It was a massive achievement for the LGBT+ community a video game with explicit queer content at the center of the story won 3 categories at the game awards. At the global game awards it won 2 categories and came in second for globe game of the year. life is strange won 6 awards at the golden joystick. That was massive process in 2015 especially since LiS came out January 30, 2015. Gay marriage wasn’t even legal then gay content was barely anywhere this was a important game to people at the time and still is. It’s hard to imagine that now considering how much progress and content we have now.

Double exposure had so much potential I feel like there was so many interesting ideas the fandom has only to learn the game never stood a chance from the start because of a bunch of greedy egocentric executives that would rather destroy the hearts of their story than make a good game

I guess the only bright side is that alternate universe exist in life is strange in a different universe we didn’t get this shit cash grab game we actually got a game that how real love and care put into it the characters weren’t alienated and the heart wasn’t torn out in alternate universe pricefield is thriving after everything romantic or not

[joe-spookyy]

nothing makes me more evil than seeing someone misinterpret daniel “oz” osbourne of buffy the vampire slayer fame. this is deeply unfortunate because it seems to be all everyone knows how to do. the amount of people i’ve seen dogging on him for things he did not even have control over is crazy. if you have issues with him read on. he’s the best character and i will die on that hill, so fight me on this one. i dare you. season 4 spoilers under the cut sorry to my friends. also him and tara could have been best friends but this isn’t really about her. just had to say it.

FIRST of all. he did not cheat on willow. veruca took advantage of him. i don’t even get how there’s grey area there - it’s clear that in both situations the wolf has control over oz, but not over veruca. so not only was HE not choosing to have sex with her or even aware that he was doing it, but SHE was aware and was taking advantage of him. this is not in ANY way his fault??? now yeah. he coulda been a little more defensive about himself when he was talking to willow and buffy but it’s oz. he’s already worried about hurting people when he’s a werewolf. if everyone’s telling him he’s bad and wrong for this he’s gonna believe it even if it isn’t true. and he didn’t have to scram and go full no contact after that. but again. he was SCARED! he didn’t wanna hurt willow any more than he already had. he made a snap decision based on what he felt he HAD to do. and if you’re one of the people who says just because he brought veruca into the cage that means he Wanted her to do that to him. i am going to get you. that’s victim blaming. he just wanted to make sure she didn’t KILL anyone. it makes sense that he would pick risking her taking advantage of him again over letting people die. did he handle it perfectly? no. that does not mean he wanted her to do all that. he loves willow and says that so many times explicitly. literally left to make sure he was good enough for her. he did not want veruca. jesus.

and SECOND. even worse is the people who are saying he comes across as homophobic for having a negative reaction to finding out about willow and tara. like. hello. did we watch the same scene. not once does he say anything negative about the fact that they’re both girls. he’s clearly just upset that willow didn’t tell him she was involved with anyone else, and with his whole new controlling the wolf thing, there’s gonna be a lot of pent up emotion and probably anger. so when he got extra upset when tara wouldn’t tell him anything more and eventually ended up wolfing out, it’s clear that it’s because he’s upset that he trusted willow but she didn’t give him all the information about where she was at and whether or not he had a chance with her again. which makes sense from her perspective of course, and tara’s reaction was valid too, but we can’t act like he suddenly hates gay people just cause he got mad that someone he cares about wasn’t totally honest with him. and he warns tara so he doesn’t end up hurting her by accident. and at the end of the episode all he wants to know is whether willow is happy. and she is. and so he’s happy for her and accepts it. i don’t even know how people are getting any other perception of the situation. god. sorry.

big idea is if you think oz is in the wrong for either of these i am going to hunt you down and beat you up evil style and maybe sit you down and have a talk about media literacy.

[wroteclassicaly]

All these people in the gator and fargo tag complaining of people thirsting over gator, calling him a nazi and how dare people find the humanity in him but praising joe for his great job like he didnt find the humanity in this character and played him to be someone you feel for. 🤡

Then being pro munch like he doesnt have problematic traditional values either

Honestly so tired of these people virtue signaling and having no nuance or media literacy for the sake of internet points, its exhausting and they just look annoying and stupid

Okay, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to answer this, because I’m trying to stay out of things. But I’ve gotten several messages like this, and I’m writing for Gator, so I feel like I owe my take on him, which had a major influence on my choice to continue.

TW below the cut, discussing Gator and his issues:

I live in a Midwestern, republican town. Everyone here owns flags like Gator’s, has blue lives matter flags, etc. If you’re raised into that life and it’s all your family knows/the people around you know - you will likely adapt to that way of thinking as well. I was fortunate enough to be able to break away from how the people around me thought and felt, forming my own opinions and expressing my disgust for the blue lives matter crap and the flag, etc. My parents are heavily republican (carry all that side’s beliefs) and so is my brother.

It’s an incredibly suffocating and confusing environment to grow up in, especially if you have no way to safely think and form your own opinions. Again, I’m grateful I could break away and think for myself!!!!

Now, discussing Gator. I just want to say that it never said he was a Nazi! Roy was. Gator was misogynistic and racist.

I’m going to compare Gator to a character called Mickey Milkovich (now this will probably upset people, due to Mickey’s character being a gay man), but I’m mostly comparing fathers/environments. Mickey and Gator were raised by two dangerous and horrific men, who beat and brain washed their sons into one way of thinking - theirs. Products of their environment, (Mickey used slurs, had flags like Gator, weapons, drugs, and even had nazi items on his wall) and what is called ‘learned racism’. They have no safe way to think for themselves, no other people around to show them love or kindness, help lead them towards a different way. Mickey found that with Ian and was able to develop and fully nurture the kindness/goodness that was in him, and he had over ten seasons to grow!

Gator only had Nadine and 10 episodes. When she left he began to let his warped devotion to the only person he had a blood connection with - flood him, outweigh his own personal goodness. Dot said it herself when she said his need to be like Roy outweighed the goodness inside. He was a product of the father and the environment. He didn’t have his own way of thinking, not really, he clung to what was beat and brainwashed into him, trying to find love and approval from his abuser/only blood relative/only person he was around (very common).

Am I excusing that? Absolutely not! Gator was not entirely a good person, and he knew that as well! He made choices he knew were wrong, to impress and gain affection from a sociopathic, demonic man. Gator was responsible for what he did, so this is not me trying to excuse or argue that!!

The only way for him to become free of who he was molded to be (he has no clue who he is, just a weak prototype of what he tried to be, hardly anything that is his own), was for him to become blind in order to see, and start serving his time. They left his ending open, which is a great way for those of us who choose to write for him - to explore his mental freedom and further nurture the soft/good side of him!

We don’t know how Gator would act or think (he was immediately apologetic to Dot and didn’t hesitate to give Roy up when he saw he wasn’t loved or cared for, so he didn’t need to protect his father), now that he is away from the environment and the man that molded him into the character he was on the show.

Gator was still a child trapped in a man’s body in some aspects; his temper tantrums, his knee jerk reactions, his hot headed plans without thought, his bedroom items (the toy cars, the sneakers, etc), his blinding anger towards Dot for leaving him behind (not even faulting her, because baby girl needed to get out and I’m glad she did). The show also alluded to the fact that he might have been addicted to some kind of substance he was stealing, as well.

Feelings on Munch are that he’s got just as much issues, lol. And we hardly knew much on him, tbh? What he did in the past, other than what he said.

Anyways, that’s my take on Gator.

We all have the right to feel how we feel!! Hate or love Gator, see his humanity or not. Some of the things his character represented effect a whole lot of people, so they have a right to be upset! There’s a lot of different factors and feelings involved!! I only look sideways at you if you thought his torture and eyes getting burnt/cut was what he deserved, because that’s just gross!

But at the end of the day, none of us who do love Gator/write for him — condone Gator’s actions! Seeing the layers and humanity in a character Joe put his all into, is perfectly normal/okay!

Sometimes there’s areas in between, and it’s not just either/or.

But I will say that not everyone who feels this way is just doing it for internet points! A lot of people have valid points/feelings about the dislike of Gator, to which I will not/have no business arguing, you know? There’s also other people that make callout posts for clout and false superiority, without even recognizing what Gator actually did and they just pull stuff outta their ass, lol.

If you don’t like Gator fans or writers, then just scroll!! It’s easy, I promise! No one is hurting anyone or being malicious!! ❤️

[justice-flonne]

Twitter and the death of Media Literacy

As the original post now has reblogs turned off before this post came out of the queue, looks like I have to make my own

Lemme tackle picture number 2 first. Number one, what the HELL do you mean "normal mentally ill [woman]"?? There's no such thing. There's not even such a thing as normal non-mentally ill. Everyone is different and has different reactions and symptoms. and number two: where the fuck do you get off calling the author a sex pest for the "crime" of exploring her options in brothels (well, i guess maybe it is a crime, i forget how japan's laws are, but still. i better not hear you demanding more rights for sex workers while indirectly demeaning their jobs, ya nitwit)? Being gay (or even just non-conforming, and that's not even just about gender) in Japan, while not as bad as say, the Middle East, is not exactly a walk in the park. She probably at the time of writing didn't have many options, and everybody explores their sexuality in different ways. It's really messed up that you're calling the author a sex pest for describing her life, especially since she did nothing wrong (as in, her encounters were all consensual. again, don't fully know the laws regarding brothels there. i think it's a "we'll pretend we didn't see that" scenario)

This also kinda ties into the downright dangerous idea that an lgbt+ person, lesbians especially, can only be an innocent pure being. that kind of thinking can and HAS gotten people into horrible abuse scenarios

As for the "incest"... whoo boy, this is gonna be long:

Now, I have actually read this manga, and I can cite the pages with the supposed "incest" mentioned in the first pic. I'd elaborate, but I'm admittedly quite bad at that, so I'll let the comic speak for itself:

(forgive me if there's any errors in the alt text. it's late 😭)

As you can see, the author does not LITERALLY want to fuck her mother. She has childhood issues from not enough affection (elaborated elsewhere in the book, but I'm tired. read it yourself. i got these pages from a definitely legal website, so can you), and wants to be held and coddled. She even straight up says what she feels is abnormal and yearns for a woman NOT RELATED TO HER to do things with. She KNOWS what she feels is strange and wants to (and eventually DOES) grow from this. I could post more images, but i'm probably pushing my luck as is

Point is, you "adults" really, REALLY need to learn that depiction is not the same as endorsement. Not everything is as cut and dry as the Marquis de Sade. This is, as the damn title says, the author's experience with loneliness as a result of growing up with an emotionally distant mother in a society that is markedly different than America

please, PLEASE, learn to think critically, and i mean "critical" in a "english class analysis" kind of way (for lack of a better term), not a "this thing you like is bad and it offends me" "critical." It's alright to be uncomfortable with things and even to not like things, hell I myself am a HUGE hater, but please, don't throw a tantrum because a real person wasn't a smol bean like you hoped

holy shit i need to go to bed

[feelbetterlove-books]

Oughhhh okay first of all, I am SO happy to see Bucktommy back on our screens and I WILL be mass reblogging things about them soon, fair warning! I took a bit after the ep to stop jumping up and down about how good it was, but then I came across the subject of this post and so first, to get it out of my system: a rant! It's not about the episode, probably not of any interest to most people, especially Bucktommy fans trying to protect their peace, so feel absolutely free to ignore this, I'll put it under a cut, I just have to get it out. I've been holding my tongue where bobs are concerned for the most part because I don't want to be mean/have a bunch of negativity on my blog/have any of them find and come after me like they're known to do, but idc rn.

So, there's this author I follow on insta, have followed for years, have read a few of her books and had the rest on my tbr. The ones I've read weren't mind-blowing or anything tbh, but for contemporary romances (not my usual genre) I had fun with them. What I really liked about her was that she is so outspoken about all of her books having bi characters: f/f and m/f. Bi4bi m/f, bi woman x straight man, bi woman x lesbian etc. I love to see bi rep and her efforts to make bi characters visible are great, I respected her for it and I found out last season, she's also a 911 fan! A Buck fan! Cool! She ships B*ddi3 but usually idc ship and let ship, I didn't think she was a Bucktommy hater.

That is, until tonight when I went on insta and saw her post. Bee cupcakes as the first pic, I went oh cute, for 911!! But then I scroll through the post and find this bingo card, the more I looked at it, the more I was like 😬 oh so she's a bob, huh? She only cares about Buck and his bisexuality if he's with E**ie? I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but then there's this in her stories (edits by me to highlight what I'm on about):

And I've blocked a LOT of blogs to try and avoid Tommy/Bucktommy hate so getting blindsided by this when I was in such a good mood enjoying our favorite guy's scene sucked. I literally felt sick about it for a while afterwards and I've decided to unfollow her and unhaul the books I own without reading more. It's not the first time I've stopped supporting an artist I was a fan of, granted this reasoning may seem dumb or petty to other people but I just can't get over it, I mean-

You're a romance author with 5 books published, I didn't think it was a stretch to assume you at least had some decent media literacy and appreciation for a good story/a sweet, queer, rom-com inspired ship. But you hate Tommy just because he's in the way of your ship? You champion bi characters, but will hate on the gay boyfriend of one who is breaking stereotypes and making people feel represented because you think his straight best friend would be a better match? Seriously?

And it's not only these two things, I looked her up on tw*tter, which I'm never usually on, but had logged into today to look at Lou's posts, and I found that she follows multiple people who I know to be particularly nasty Tommy haters/bobs. So. Yeah. I'm out of there, I just can't look at her the same anymore, not to be parasocial or whatever but she always seemed cool, I liked her, I wanted to support her work, I HAVE supported her work personally and as someone who works as a bookseller, I've pointed people to her books and sold them.

But now I just have a bad taste in my mouth. There has been SO much hate towards Tommy, Bucktommy, and worse, the real people who ship them, Lou, and even Oliver over the last few months, because it's constantly being stirred up by this kind of B*ddi3 shipper. I would feel sorry for them for how desperate and bitter they are if not for the fact that I simply cannot stand them anymore. They are miserable and determined to make Bucktommy shippers miserable, too.

I just don't get why people can't stay in their fandom lane and leave others alone?? Like, getting mad that Buck's ESTABLISHED BOYFRIEND and E**ie's FRIEND, WHO HE LIKES, was in one (1) scene, when it narratively made sense for him to be there to remind the ga of him, is pathetic. Tommy came to support E at the virtual birthday party of his estranged teenager, and make a heavy scene lighter and you're acting like he's some kind of monster. I can't even, I'm done!

I hope all the bestie boos will start to leave the fandom soon, when Tommy sticks around, because tbh they only care about one thing that's never going to happen and they don't even seem to have fun on their side of the "ship war". They're too busy being nasty all the time, can't talk about their ship without dragging ours down.

Anyway this rant is becoming more generalized than what I planned to say about that person and has already gotten sooo long, so I'm just going to post it to throw all my anger and frustration out there with it and then bury it with happy Bucktommy posts!! If any Bucktommy fan for some reason actually reads this 1. Oof. Sorry! 2. I 💙 you, Bucktommy fans are the best and I'm so glad to be in this fandom despite everything!!

[rosesloveletters]

help me find my way back.

pc: x

Pairing: 1971 Willy Wonka x Reader

Word Count: 1,912

Warnings: Nudity, depictions/mentions of anxiety and depression.

Summary: ‘When it’s storming’, Willy would often say, ‘the last place you want to have your head is in the clouds.’ // Reader and Wonka bathe together, while Reader reflects on their own difficulties as they fight to determine whether true love is strong enough to make them not give up on themself.

Author's Note: This story was born from a long walk taken on a cloudy autumn day. All I had were my thoughts and that was enough. I never would have anticipated I'd be writing for this character, but life works in mysterious ways. I am just pleased to be writing again. Enjoy.

Edited.

divider created by @/saradika on Tumblr.

You knew when it became real love. 

It started with a breath of fresh air you imagined taking, because you were so stifled there beneath the false canopy. You loved the sanctity of the factory, but just once would you have delighted in the feeling of warm sunlight sinking into your skin instead of the fluorescent lights recessed into the ceiling above your head. You missed having your head in the clouds instead of gazing up at artificial cirrus and synthetic cerulean blue. 

You could have left any time you liked, but that would have been too easy. Some dreams were worth chasing, even if it came with certain sacrifices. You could make do without a lungful of outside air, but you couldn’t take a chance on losing out on yourself. 

There was a time when you were the cause of the crushing weight on your chest; you would reclaim that time proudly, which coincidentally was the very heart of the problem. 

If the heart knew what it wanted, then yours must have lost its way a long time ago. Perhaps that was why you’d been experiencing palpitations lately. 

This would not be the first time your heart led you astray. 

Even so, you hoped that this time might be different. 

‘Could this be enough?’ you asked yourself. ‘Could he be enough?’

Your mind had been cloudy enough to make up for the lack of them in here. You felt trapped inside a mind and body that were not your own; you could not control your own brain and no longer could manipulate your thoughts. You hesitated when you spoke because your train of thought kept derailing. 

It wasn’t enough to keep trying to save someone who was already lost.

That was, until the echoes of him came to exist within your very pulse. His cornflower blue eyes – you’ve been pining for that same shade of blue sadness for far too long – were reminiscent of ones you laced within your own hair as a child. His literacy reignited your hunger for knowledge and how you used to devour each page of the books you loved. His sarcastic wit reminded you of how you’d painstakingly perfected the art of elocution and used it to your advantage time and again. 

He bridged the gap between your past and present and in the death of your disunity, you fell in love, both with him and with yourself. 

His presence in your life cut through the fog in your mind like headlights glistening through the haze. You still had miles to go, uncharted territory to map out, before you could lie down and rest comfortably within his arms, but even though you had a long way to travel, he’d take every step with you as if the journey were his own. 

Never would you cry yourself to sleep alone, feeling the weight of your misery pressing down on you rather than the warm body of your beloved. 

You had known love before and felt it, deep within the presently vacant cavity of your chest. You knew it existed and, yet it came and went, changing like the seasons, traveling like a storm. 

If love were meant to be that violent, then why was his embrace as warm as springtime sunshine? Why were his eyes clear blue like that of the sky after it rained? Why did his heart beat, not like thunder, but like undulating ripples of a quiet pond? 

He filled your mind with poetry and it came spilling out of you now. 

If you were to take the form of a golden leaf, nature’s waste discarded upon the ground, would your beauty be unique enough to make him pick you up and put you in his pocket? If you were a clump of moss growing steadily upon a concrete pillar, would you be able to feel the graze of his fingertips along your plush foliage? If the two of you were coffee rings left by two overflowing mugs staining the mahogany, would you overlap? 

It was no question as to what had changed to make you think this way again; as often as you’d tried to fill the void in your chest with someone else’s heart, he made you realize the one you must nurture first is your own. 

You would sink into yourself again, the same way you were about to sink into the bath you’d just run for you and Willy. 

You reached for the faucet and turned it, shutting the water off, and watched the last few drops cling to the cold steel, then fall into the bath. You reached out and let your fingers delicately graze the surface of the water as you tested the temperature. You were delighted by how easily calm waters turned rough; Willy would say you’re halfway to a metaphor there. 

Once you had deemed the water warm enough, you got off your knees and turned to face your lover as the bathroom door was opened. 

He stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him, turning around to meet your loving gaze. 

You both undressed in the comfortable silence of the small bathroom. The air was thick with steam and drops of condensation clustered on the mirror above the vanity. You had lit several candles which smelled of honey and warm sugar and placed them strategically throughout the room to aid your vision without an onslaught to the senses. 

With your clothing out of the way, you let Willy settle into the bath first. 

Your eyes raked over him in the low light accentuating the curves and supple accents of his body and you took in the way the water rose several inches when he sank down into it. He extended an arm to guide you into him once he was ready and you gingerly lifted one leg over the side of the bathtub, letting him take hold of you by the hand as you eased your way towards him. 

You lover’s warm hands were gentle as he helped you sit in the bath with him. 

When your back connected with his front, you let out a soft sigh of pleasure at both the warmth of the water and the closeness of your bodies. 

You both basked in the intimate glow permeating the darkened room and you felt the gravitational pull between your two forms. Your future was constellated, a string of stars wrapped around your hearts, connecting one with the other. 

You were uncertain whether you believed in soulmates, but if you were asked to put how you felt for him into words, you would have said that you were sure you were made of dust from the same star. 

“Are you comfortable, dear?” 

The sound of his voice overwhelmed you with emotion and you turned to look at him. You met his strikingly blue gaze and the first thing you thought was how much you missed him. 

You missed him, yet he was there with you. 

You could feel the warm press of his body against yours, much warmer than that of the water because you knew what you were feeling was him.  

It did not make sense to say that you missed him, but perhaps that tightness in your chest and the clenching fist around your heart and the tears that were burning the backs of your eyes were caused by the same culprit; it might be impossible to miss what was right in front of you, but you had somehow found a way, because it wasn’t Willy whom you had missed with all your heart – it was yourself.

You had lost yourself in the search for something better and you could have cried till you ran out of tears, screamed until you had no voice left. 

The processional of time had not been kind to your brain. You were riddled with anxieties you did not remember developing and those rotten, malevolent thoughts were taking up space where your lover used to be. His face was shrouded in mystery not of his own doing. 

You had taken him away from yourself before you’d been honored the pleasure of calling him yours. 

You couldn’t see the forest for the trees because you had let yourself grow complacent.

When you recessed into yourself too far, Willy coaxed you out again. He would help you return to the person you once were and find yourself again in this changed world. 

You nodded peacefully at his question, “yes. This feels lovely, thank you.” 

His only response came in the form of a gentle hum and you felt yourself sink into him at that, his body, your vessel, and his love, your anchor. 

Beneath the surface of the water, his arms encircled you, fingers linking together as he held you within the comfort of his embrace. He could sense that though you were quiet, your mind was loud and without hesitation, he began humming a tune. His melodious voice silenced your mind almost immediately and the only resounding thought inside your head was how lucky you were to experience a love like this one. 

Willy hummed the verses to ‘Pure Imagination’ while the two of you laid in the bath. Though you had heard him sing the words too many times to count, there was something different about it this time, like he was trying to communicate with you about something important but lacked the right words. 

Willy Wonka was in possession of one of the vastest vocabularies you’d come to know in the mo, so that wasn’t it, but in your weary heart, you knew what it was. 

You needed a reminder that your mind was a great tool, not just one that tormented you. 

And, if your own mind became too much for you, he would let you get lost within his for a while, where you would be free, if you truly wished to be. 

That was enough to send one tear tumbling down your cheek as you nestled into him, hoping he would not notice, but he did. His hold on you tightened and his chin now rested on the top of your head. Arms that had previously been locked around you parted and his hand found yours under the water. He held you tight, keeping you on the ground with him. 

‘When it’s storming’, Willy would often say, ‘the last place you want to have your head is in the clouds.’

There would be plenty of time to lose yourself in imagination. For now, your attention was his.

He continued to hum to you, held protectively in his arms until he could sense that you were calm. 

There were times when Willy questioned his own mind and the things it did to him, never quite understanding where the thoughts came from, which were dreams and which were nightmares. He had mistaken one for the other on more than one occasion and needed to be brought out of his racing mind. With you there to remind him of that, he was able to differentiate. 

If he could help you to better understand yourself, he would. He would travel the world over, do the impossible, think unthought of things and invent a way to return you to yourself if he could. 

But, above all else, Willy wanted you to know that he loved you, fiercely, passionately, completely. 

Perhaps this love would be enough to make you want to keep fighting to save yourself. 

[nerves-nebula]

just helped two literal babies print from their macbooks for the first time here are my takeaways

i dont mean this is a disparaging way but I was shocked by the lack of computer literacy like they didnt know where their screenshots saved to or if downloads saved to the download folder or "if they just saved to google" (not a thing that can happen as far as i'm aware? i believe they were referring to the fact that when a pdf download finishes it opens in chrome and you can view it there)

like seriously neither of them had any experience downloading any kind of driver or software where they had to go through a setup wizard. to me a setup wizard is like, yeah, that's the thing you gotta go through to set up the download easy peasy right?? i don't consider myself super tech savvy but if most people don't know where their downloads are saving or how to find the screenshots folder i might be more computer literate than i previously assumed

i am only a few years older than them but one of them was here for the pre-college program and she was a baby. a child. tinyyyyyy. oh my god. i've become increasingly aware of how small (not physically but emotionally) teenagers are and it's just. wow you guys are kids huh. and im barely not a kid anymore. fuck.

the monitor who trained me wasn't lying when she said most of this job is gonna be walking people through downloading the software... i can't imagine most ppl are gonna be doing super complicated printing and it took a lot of time just to talk them through it. I can see how that's gonna be most of the job if everyone is this clueless (again not passing judgement i just genuinely thought more people knew this stuff)

although i havent worked on an apple computer for years i can still generally figure out my way around them which is good cuz i think most ppl are gonna have apple computers.

this part is literally not important at all but: oh my god they were compiling images to print in google docs. that hurts my SOUL to see but it worked for what they needed so i didn't push it ;_; they aren't doing graphic DESIGN here they're just cutting out REFERENCE IMAGES but still. ouchhh.