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thehollowwriter · 6 months ago

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I think we should talk more about the mysgony when it comes to parents in media, and how fathers are favoured and praised for the most the most basic shit while mothers are demonised for making mistakes or being bad. This is gonna be a long one, buckle up.

I hate Mrs Rosehearts as much as the next guy, but it's unfair that Mr Rosehearts is not given similar criticism for allowing his wife to treat Riddle the way he does. I hardly see people bring him up apart from mentioning that Riddle's parents probably have an unhappy marriage, and some people say something along the lines of "poor Mr Rosehearts, struggling with a wife like that".

Of course, we don't know enough about his character to gauge how Mrs Rosehearts treats him, bit it's clear he just passively stands to the side when it comes to whatever Mrs Rosehearts wants to do with Riddle. That itself is very harmful and it's own form of abuse, imo.

The same applies to Alador Blight from the Owl House. He's praised for being a wonderful dad that finally came through and stood up to his "horrible wretched bitch of a wife" (who, if she was a guy, would probably have more people analysing her and trying to find ways to sympathise with her just saying)..

And while, yes, he did stand up to her and that's a good thing, the general consensus is he was a brilliant dad from the start that was held back by his wife's wicked ways. But... that's not true? His first appearance is him telling Amity to stop being friends with Willow. He ignores his children constantly, and, like Mr Rosehearts, stands passively to the side when Odaliah treats her children like her property.

He's a neglectful parent at best and just as concerned with image and status at Odaliah at worst. But... that stuff is just forgotten. Most people just say "we thought he was bad but it turns out he was manipulated by his wife". He is HIS OWN PERSON. You cannot just blame everything on his "evil manipulative wife" (which is also smt that sometimes happens irl when both parents are abusive). He is still fully capable of making his own decisions.

And again, it's unfortunate, but if Odaliah were to be given his treatment or if Alador were a woman, the general response would be "That's sad but not an excuse! I can't believe she was forgiven!"

The worst I can think of atm, is Silco and Vi from Arcane. Now ofc they're not married. But the circumstances are similar.

Silco is praised to the high heavens for being one of the best dads in animation (#1 goes to Doofenshmirtz ofc, which I agree with) and the reasons for this are because he... shows his care, puts Jinx first, and loves her. Wow. Fucking groundbreaking am I right. The bar is soooo high/s

The thing is, Jinx is a child soldier. She works for Silco, protects his shipments of Shimmer, takes out the enemies that need taken out, etc. He found her as a young child, and when we cut to the present, she's murdering people without so much as flinching, even delighting in it, and suffering badly from trauma and hallucinations.

Obviously, Jinx was not given the care she needed, and was instead trained to assist Silco.

Am I denying Silco loves her? Of course not! He clearly does. But that's just not good enough. He's a loving dad, but not a good one. He's not the father that neither Jinx nor Powder needed.

Meanwhile, we have Vi. Vi loves Powder, protects her, cares for her, tries to keep her out of harm, stands up for her, and so on. She cares so deeply for Powder, and you can see it. The moment she got out of prison, her first goal was to find Powder.

However, because she hit Powder once, and shouted at her, she's apparently an abusive monster who never cared about Powder. Reminder, she hit Powder because her entire family was killed in front of her and then she learned Powder was the reason that happened. She was like... 14? And she immediately left to calm down. She did not abandon Powder, she left to take a breather because she realised she was too angry. And when she came back, she was drugged and arrested.

Silco is a grown adult who purposefully flooded the streets of the Undercity with a highly addictive drug, turned Powder into a soldier, and is generally a terrible person, even if he is a three dimensional amd well written antagonist.

Vi started the story as a teenager suffering poverty and discrimination just like Silco, had to deal with her own parents death, then her adoptive family was killed in front of her, and then she was forcefully taken from her sister. And yet, people are convinced Vi is a terrible and abusive sister who never loved Powder?

The only example worse than this, methinks, is Stella and Stolas from Helluva Boss.

Stella is a shitty mother who ignores her daughter, which the the audience is shown via a scene were Octavia is having a nightmare and she tells Stolas to deal with it. She frequently screams and swears at Stolas and throws things at him, with no regard for her daughter's presence or feelings.

This is pretty terrible, right? Of course! Everyone knows Stella is a horrible mother.

Stolas on the other hand, is praised for being such an loving and caring father, who tries his best. He even has a song with Octavia!

Well, he also: openly talks about having sex with Blitz and how much he likes it while she was right there, told her people want her money and her body, generally doesn't pay much attention to her either bc he's wallowing about Blitz not loving him back, and doesn't give her feelings much regard.

And yet, the misogyny extends beyond just Stella because people generally agree that Octavia is ungrateful and doesn't appreciate Stolas enough. They get mad at her for disliking the fact that Stolas is cheating on her mother with an imp who's been nothing but rude to her and ruining their family further, and even mock her for feeling unloved. Hell even Brandon, one of the creators, has allegedly recently called her a "cockblocking slut" which, frankly, is a disgusting thing to say about a 17 year old girl.

Idk man I'm just tired.

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the-curious-butterfly · 27 days ago

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Merry UnBirthday to You.

My Dearest Daughter,

I am sending you this letter for it has been too long since I saw you last. Yes, I know you'll groan out how it's only been two months, but time moves rather quickly for an old Queen. Literally, I had to run just to keep up with him, perhaps I should stop going to his castle and have him come to mine if it's really so important. He has been going on and on about something rather odd concerning cupcakes and paradoxes lately, but I digress. The matters of Time are not for the concerns of youth.

What is of concern however is your birthday coming up next week. Oh, I've just been so excited I already had the frog and fish butlers start planning it despite not knowing if you'll even be able to attend. I do hope you can and will, you can even bring that little friend with you, the one you fancy so much. Chloe Charming. You know, Ella really knew what she was doing when she raised that girl, lives up to her name in every way. Unlike Charming himself, no matter what Ella claims he was all face, personality speaking he was a mess. I was definitely the better choice.

Ahem, I probably shouldn't have said that. Wait, oh quill, please don't write that either. Drat, I really should get into the habit of writing my own letters instead of dictating them out to stationary. You know how feathers are, no mind for things that really should be omitted. As straightforward and as honest as an ostrich. Please do not show this letter to Chloe, I would hate for her to know what I think of her father. He really was good to Ella.

Anyway, I'd love to hear back from you soon, with confirmation that you and the young Charming will indeed be capable of attending. Oh, it's going to be so much fun, and don't worry. I'll have something special planned for the two of you. You can always count on your mum.

With warm regards,

Bridget of Hearts

The proudest mum in the world to have you as a daught-

Wait, no no no you don't have to write that last par

Long after they finished reading it Red and Chloe, whose head was on her shoulder, could only stare at the letter in Red's hands. It was certainly a letter to say the least. Though what had both of them glued to its contents were vastly different things. For Chloe, it was the confirmation of seeing that Bridget did indeed once have a crush on her mother (perhaps still did) and harbored a mini grudge on her father for being the one she chose instead. Couldn't blame the Queen of Hearts for that though, her mother was a catch and deserved only the best. Even if her younger self was a little difficult to be around sometimes.

For Red it was learning the fact that she has a birthday now. Something she never had before since her mother from her original timeline outlawed them long before she was born. Though the letter didn't specify the day apparently it's in October, and also she's getting a party.

A party just to celebrate her existence. Something other children in other places got but she could only ever dream to have.

...

"Wow, I didn't know your birthday was so soon."

"I didn't either." There wasn't really much else to say but the truth, though if Chloe understood the nuance she didn't bring attention to it. "Should we ask Principal Uma for permission to leave?"

Red nods then shakes her head, finally folding up the letter but still holding onto it. "I don't know."

Which is fair so Chloe gives an understanding hum in response. "We'll have to find some way to figure out what day it is first, so you can think about it in the meantime. Just so that you know it's whatever you decide, Red, no one is going to make you."

Red wants to say she knows but "She's already planning it, Chloe, how am I supposed to say no."

"Of course she is, she's excited and she's missing you. But, I also know that the Bridget I remember would never hold it against you if you decided you couldn't show. She loves you too much."

Red wants that sentiment to mean something she really does, but the Bridget she remembers also managed to turn into the one they left behind.

"I'll give it some thought."

"Great, oh and Red."

"Yes, Chloe?"

Chloe takes one of Red's hands and brings to back of it up to her lips. "Happy Birthday, my princess."

This did indeed manage to bring a hint of a smile back to Red's face, just as Chloe had hoped for.

"In Wonderland it's Happy UnBirthday if it's not the right day. I really do have to find out what the right day is, so that you can do this again on the correct one."

"I'll do it every day for the rest of our lives if that's what it takes."

Clocks, that was so cheesy how was Red not supposed to shove her away.

#glassheart #red of hearts #chloe charming #rise of red #red x chloe #curious things

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milevenstancyendgame · 1 month ago

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Eleven And Ableism

So I've been seeing recurring awful ableist views on El, all the way from old s1 posts to recent post-s4/s5-anticipating posts, and I won't have it.

People talking about El as though she was stupid. Because she barely spoke in s1, and in the following seasons still speaks like a child sometimes. Because she didn't learn a whole lot of things that children usually learn in our society, because she's lacking social knowledge.

This hurts me in a very personal way, because I have complex trauma too, with similar adaptations as El, and I've experienced the same discrimination, and still am experiencing it profoundly by the ableist welfare/medical system.

El doesn't talk much in s1, because she's traumatised, both in general, and freshly re-traumatised after being forced into the tank, encountering the demogorgon, opening the gate, fleeing the lab, seeing the first kind person to help her getting murdered, and then being bombarded with a ton of questions and unknown terms by a group of boys, the majority of whom don't seem very friendly towards her at first, but react to her like something abnormal/disgusting (wow, that's a lot) .

And she obviously was horribly abused during her whole childhood; objectified as a weapon and taught to not take up any space. She was just told what to do all the time. To only speak when spoken to.

She finds herself in a completely new environment full of strangers. Can you even imagine her level of fear, as a child who never was given any emotional safety, going outside for the first time and encountering strangers for the first time?

Of course, she doesn't talk much! Her whole life experience was a nightmare, why would she act like other kids?

Also, she has developmental arrest, meaning that due to the extremely unsafe surroundings she was born into, her brain couldn't develop as much and in the same way as that of other children, making her developmentally and emotionally younger than her physical age.

The crucial thing about human beings is that we need love to grow and thrive. Emotional connection creates new neural pathways in our brain. Learning is a social thing.

That is why she sometimes talks or behaves like an infant. Parts of her personality/brain are literally still that young.

Humans (and other animals) also do this thing called dissociation. It's a survival mechanism that makes you disconnect from your sensations and emotions (going internally numb).

Children who are repeatedly traumatised in infancy, rely heavily on dissociation, because a baby/toddler can't fight or run away.

A dissociative trauma response will paralyse (freeze) you or make you go limp (collapse). It also shuts down the verbal part of your brain (and other cognitive parts).

We see El going into freeze a lot in s1 when she's scared, but since it's fiction, it never lasts long, because there's no time.

And since El has been raised to be a weapon and therefore forced to fight, she taps into this trauma response frequently too.

All of this trauma-info-dump, just to give you a tiny glimpse of how incredibly intelligent El/her body/her brain is.

She went through all of this torture since she was a baby, no one loved her, and yet she survived, and yet she is still a whole person, a unique individual, a child who despite everything, is still capable of forming attachments and her capacity for love fully intact.

But people see a quiet/mute child, or a non-responsive child, and assume they are "stupid". I think it's pretty obvious who is the stupid one in this equation.

#Stranger Things meta #El Hopper #Eleven Hopper #Mileven #Elmax #Sorry not ship-related but people who have her in an otp tend to appreciate her more from what I've seen on tumblr #Leave El alone #Sadly that needs to be a tag 🙄#stranger things #My meta #Eleven #Meta #Complex trauma #Ableism #all oppression is connected

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annabelle--cane · 8 months ago

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I got into tma in 2022 on a road trip with no internet and then only tangentially interacted with the fandom (light hcs, fanart) and I am. so compelled to understand what the fandom was like in 2020. what were the takes. why was it so awful. does it explain why every time I try to look into protocol I get a rancid Vibe and jump back 5 feet.

to preface: on scale, it really wasn't any worse than your average fandom, it just A) got Very popular over a short period and B) that period was during a time of particularly high stress where many people suddenly could only experience a social life online. tma is also a fairly political and progressive work, which inevitably leads to certain kinds of Takes. it also got Very popular right at the point where the episodes were reaching their peak of explicit social commentary and sustained morbid tone, which, especially combined with point B from above, drew out some really visceral reactions from a lot of people. nothing was actually inherently rancid about 2020-2021 tma fandom, there was just a bit of a perfect storm of factors.

having said that. some common discourse themes:

the perennial shipping discourse. georgie is the only one of our leads to have never killed a person, but really, I pinky promise that your ship between two unrepentant serial killers is 100x more problematic than my ship between two unrepentant serial killers.

asexuality: how dangerous is it? on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being "mostly" to 5 being "completely," how humiliating is it to be asexual? what is the singular true asexual experience that is unproblematic to write about?

wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this episode, what gives him the right to--oh he said it's directly based on personal experiences? so sorry, my bad, I'll learn for next time. wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this epi--

I did not like this episode. this is obviously a direct act of violence against me. why would an episode be Not Good when there is, in the world, Sadness?

hello, I have sorted all of the characters into a simple chart that clearly delineates which of them are completely irredeemable monsters with no interiority or motives and which of them are perfect angel victims who have only ever been nice and never hurt anyone, ever (and if they did hurt someone then that person deserved it). if I see you adding nuance to any of my rulings, I will kill you. this also extends to the podcast writers. #ilovebinaries.

the characters... are queer... and maybe even other marginalized identities as well... and yet, they do bad things? there's not even a single completely morally innocent character? by god, did they not think about the implications this might have!

web!martin. lol people are so stupid for thinking that the theory is at all plausible, media comprehension much? that would lichrally imply that a queer, poor, mentally ill character might be capable of badness. what do you mean we are currently listening to an arc where he's an accomplice to serial murder.

#transmasc-wizard #answered #tma

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dark-frosted-heart · 4 months ago

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Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 11

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

I got promoted from dogsbody to pet and Roger gave me a nice collar—or choker.

However, on the same night, I did a thing that was just a short step away from something lovers would do, and am now in the midst of self-reflection.

(Wah…Roger never fails to drive me mad)

Ale: Arf arf arf.

When I raised my head from my depressive state, I saw Ale running toward me.

Kate: Ah, Ale. Haha, you’re awake? Good morning.

Ale: Arf…arf?

He looked at me in confusion as if sensing my distress through his animal intuition.

Kate: Hmm. Today, I still have to write my Fairytale Keeper report. After that…

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger: Would it be good or evil to make curses disappear from this world? You don’t have to answer me now. When it comes to you, let me know.

~~ End flashback ~~

Recently, the almost lovers act between Roger and I wasn’t the only thing on my mind.

(The question Roger assigned me that day…)

(Currently, I don’t know enough about “Cursed Ones” to answer it)

Kate: I’m going to have to ask your owner about this, aren’t I?

Ale: Arf.

After submitting my report to Victor, I knocked on the lab door with Ale in tow.

Roger: Oh, why’re the two dogs together?

When I approached him, he tried to pet both mine and Ale’s head, so I ducked away.

Roger: Oh, rebellion.

I ignored him and bowed my head.

Kate: I have a favor to ask. Please lend me some of your research material on “Cursed Ones”.

Roger: Hmm, my research material? These documents are like my life. Let me hear what you plan to do with them first.

Kate: Currently I don’t have enough knowledge to find the answer to your question. Even if I’m only here for a short time, I’ve met Crown and would like to take this seriously. I want to know if it’s good or bad for Crown to be cursed. I wanted to come up with an answer myself and record it as Fairytale Keeper.

Roger: …You’re the kind of girl who’s considerate of the minority.

Roger turned around and collected all his research material on Cursed ones from his desk and bookshelves—

Roger: Here. I don’t mind leaving these with you.

Books, files, and even slips of paper were all placed in my arms.

Kate: Wow, thank you so much! …But, is all this okay?

Roger: What, all that boldness earlier was just for show?

Roger smirked as if to challenge me, provoking my competitive spirit.

Kate: No way. I’ll get through all this in no time!

Roger: Hmm, then I’ll add to it. Here.

Kate: Ugh…

He dumped more materials and my arms started feeling heavy.

Roger: Broadening your horizons by learning what you don’t know is also a of strength. If you can get through all that, I’ll promote you from dog to assistant. Well, maybe the naive lil’ lady will get her heart broken…

Don’t underestimate me +4 +4

Are you trying to make me mad?

I’m capable

Kate: Please don’t underestimate me. Promise me that.

Roger: And promise me that you won’t get your heart broken. Don’t come cryin’ to me about it later.

(Geez…)

I stumbled out toward the exit with a huge stack of material in my arms.

Roger: I got high hopes for you, Kate.

Kate: …

I glared at Roger as he opened the door and left the basement.

Ale: Arf!

Ale had followed after, but then stopped and looked at his owner.

As if to say, don’t be a bully.

Ale: …

Roger: …He probably thinks Kate’s one of his own.

As he closed the door, Roger’s shoulders shook with amusement—

After leaving the basement, I headed toward the garden.

Kate: Let’s read outside for a change of pace, Ale.

Ale: Arf.

I sat down in a chair and started to go over Roger’s research material.

(If I remember correctly, Alec’s research materials were confiscated by the police)

(That means all of this was done by Roger)

The huge amount of material in Roger’s handwriting showed the life he spent doing research.

Kate: …I’ll read this all carefully.

And so I turned the first page on the research materials—

(A “Cursed One” is someone that’s been cursed since birth and has nothing to do with genetics)

(And I believe it’s innate, not acquired)

(Meaning, I believe that being cursed is an “individual” mutation)

There was a huge amount of material based on hypotheses and testing, and results based on those tests. Every time I turned a page, I was surprised by new facts.

As I looked over everything so as to not miss a thing, one sentence caught my attention.

Kate: …A “‘Cursed One’s’ tragic fate can’t be altered. In the past, there have been no exceptions.” Huh…?

There was something scribbled on the edge of the document.

“The more I learn about curses, the more ridiculous it gets.”

“It’s like God’s whim and it makes me sick.”

This scribble among the clinical data brought forth Roger’s true feelings. For a moment, I stopped breathing.

He had begun his research on Cursed Ones as a child, and to this day, still hasn’t found a way to erase them.

(It’s…so absurd)

His way of life was quite like being in the dark, walking alone without knowing what lay ahead.

Ale: Arf arf.

Suddenly, I heard Ale’s barking and looked up.

Kate: Woah. What’s wrong, Ale? Is it Roger?

When I looked in the direction he was barking at, the owner of the footsteps appeared.

Ellis: Sorry, not Roger.

Kate: Ellis.

Ellis: I thought I’d give Ale a treat. Roger told me he was with you.

He offered a steaming mug to me.

Ellis: Hot milk for you.

He wrapped my hands around the mug and the warmth I felt seeping through the ceramic brought a smile to my face.

Kate: It’s warm…Thank you for your concern, Ellis.

Ellis: I wanted to make you happy.

Saying what he’d always say, Ellis patted Ale’s head.

And then—Ale’s paws were clapped together.

(Ah, Ellis’ Briar Bushes ability…)

Ale: Arf?

Ellis: Sorry, I’ll unbind you. “That’s enough”.

(Ah…)

~~ Flashback ~~

Alec: …Thank you. —”That’s enough.”

~~ End flashback ~~

In an instant, the images I had pictured in my head overlapped across time.

(Alec’s and Ellis’ abilities…are the same?)

(That means—)

I thought back to a sentence I read in Roger’s research materials.

(“Even if a Cursed One dies, the curse itself doesn’t disappear”)

(“After the Cursed One dies, the curse will reappear after some time”)

(“Humans with the same curse can’t exist at the same time”)

(If that’s the case…Then the one with the “Briar Bushes curse” after Alec is Ellis?)

As I thought over it, a finger poked at the space between my brows.

Ellis: It’s the first time I’ve seen you make a face like that. Kate, you’re starting to resemble Roger a bit.

Kate: Huh…?

Ellis: Hehe, your expression was like his just now.

Kate: What kind of face?

Ellis: Like a child completely absorbed in their thoughts. I heard from Roger that you’re studying about Cursed Ones. Is there any way I can help?

Ellis leaned forward and looked at me.

Kate: Then…Can I ask about how you and Roger met?

Ellis: Sure.

Ellis’ twilight-colored eyes wavered a bit.

Ellis: …I met Roger before joining Crown. I was already working as Jude’s assistant, but even back then, he attracted a lot of resentment from all sides. One night, Jude got stabbed with a knife and was brought to Roger’s father’s clinic. Roger was helping out at the clinic at the time—that’s how we met. So, back to the story. At that time, Jude asked Roger instead of his father to perform surgery.

Kate: Why?

Ellis: The reason for Jude’s injuries was so dangerous that the average doctor refused to treat him. However, Roger wasn’t licensed at the time and was looking for hands-on practice.

Kate: Um, so…a mutual convenience?

Ellis: Mm, pretty much.

(M-meaning he performed the procedure without actually being licensed at the time—)

(Let’s just pretend I didn’t hear that)

Ellis: Jude got injured a lot, and after that moment, Roger would secretly treat him… So I started going back there often. Roger looked really happy when he found out that we were Cursed Ones.

(No doubt he was as happy as when he met Alec)

My chest tightened as I thought about the boyish smile he’d sometimes have.

Ellis: It happened on a night Jude got injured… While Jude was asleep, Roger and I were making small talk. That night, I was listening to him talk about the time when was investigating whether Al was cursed or not.

Ellis stared off into the distance like he was trying to recall a memory.

~~ Flashback start ~~

Ellis: So this “Alfons” made you eat shoe polish cream?

Roger: Yeah, it was an illusion. That’s when I realized he was a Cursed One. But in exchange… Every time I eat cake, I remember the taste of shoe polish cream.

Ellis: Hehe, that’s a pretty big price to pay.

While they were laughing, Roger suddenly looked at Ellis.

Roger: That reminds me, I haven’t seen your power.

Ellis: Ah…maybe? Then…I’m sorry if it surprises you a bit, Roger.

Ellis touched the top of Roger’s head.

Then…his hands were clapped together as if in prayer.

Ellis: This is my ability. As for Jude, if he pokes your forehead—

Roger: …O_O …Alec.

Ellis: Roger?

Roger: Ah, it’s nothing. It’s been a while since I last had an ability used on me so I was surprised. Ellis, you have the “Briar Bushes curse” don’t you?

(...Alec and Ellis really do have the same curse)

Ellis: …Why did Roger look so sad when he learned about my “Briar Bushes curse”? Not only that, sometimes he’ll make this face when he sees me.

(...It’s not my story to tell)

Kate: Really now.

Ellis: But I don’t want him to look sad, so I never asked about it. I want to make Roger happy too.

Roger had seen what would be Ellis’ last moments with his own eyes, so that’s why he doesn’t want him to go down the same path as Alec.

(I can’t say that avoiding that ending will be easy)

Roger: I wanna make curses disappear from this world.

The voice in my chest resurfaced, gripping at my heart.

Kate: …I’m certain just talking with you will make Roger happy.

Ellis: Really? Enough to kill him?

Kate: Y-You can’t!

—Ellis’ curse seemed extremely complex.

Over the next few days, I finished reading through the huge amount of material Roger had given me.

(I’ll go and borrow medical books this time after getting changed)

(Some medical knowledge could help me understand Cursed Ones better…)

That’s what I thought at the time.

Roger: Kate, I got good news. A new Cursed One may have been found!

#ikemen villains #ikevil #ikevil jp #ikevil translations #roger barel #ikevil roger #ikevil roger route

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thesensteawitch · 11 months ago

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How Does Your Spirit Guides See You?🤍👁️‍🗨️

Pick A Pile

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello Senstea Souls!

In this reading, you'll learn how your spirit guides see you and what message they have for you. Feel free to pick more than one pile if your intuition says so. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Feel free to message me in case of any tarot reading related questions :⁠-⁠)

Booking Form|My Rate Card|Tip My Jar

Pile 1

The color your spirit guides associate you with: Yellow

My beautiful pile 1, there's a very strong message coming from your spirit guides which I would like to spill first. They want you to know that they see you as someone rare. You are one of a kind. To them, you're one of the most attractive beings on Earth. They love you for your grounded spirit. They love your brain. You may look intimidating to others but from within you're such a child. I sense strong Sagittarius and Libra placements. Your spirit guides are very protective of you. They see you as someone who will never let the scales go imbalanced. They see you as someone artistic with the capability to fill the souls of the world with art, metaphors, and colors. You're so strong to them that no matter what happens they know that you can turn your hurt into an artistic masterpiece. I am getting a strong victorious vibe from the pile. They adore how no one can ever take away the kindness that you possess. No amount of pain can make you empty of love. Wow, beautiful! One day you'll hold a prestigious position in life all on your own. That's where you are headed and that's where your spirit guides are helping you get to. Who says we come empty-handed? You are walking this Earth with a bag full of something to give to the world. Surprisingly, it's never empty. It never fails to give. They see you as someone who learns from life no matter what. You consider yourself to be the eternal student of life. Your pieces of advice are precious. Your spirit guides see you becoming a great teacher or inspiration for others. This is unusual but they love your colored hair. And if you don't have your hair colored then take it as a sign to get them colored. It would suit you. Some shade of blue or pink. Your spirit guides want to tell you that nothing is set in stone for you so you can always change your path and you'll only learn something new that will eventually help you in serving your greater purpose. I hear, “And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear. Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close?” Wow! What a beautiful message. Some spirit guides may be lovers from your past lives or loved ones who have passed away. They love you very much!

Pile 2

The color your spirit guides associate you with: Blue/Green

Hello my beautiful pile 2. The straightaway message from your spirit guides is that they know that you know what you are doing. Your spirit guides see you as a very aware and alert being. They love that you know what you wish for and what is the intention behind the wish. They see how hardworking you are and you don't take your achievements for granted. You recognize them and give yourself credit for your own hard work. They sometimes see you getting tempted by worldly matters but at the same time with your strength, you pull yourself back from the hell hole and can balance things out. They see that you are emotionally attached to your materialistic achievements. They see you as someone who has no shortage of ideas. Great and achievable ideas keep coming to you. Because of your strong mind, you can manifest the desired outcomes. Your spirit guides know that you don't know when to stop. You'll probably keep working till the end of your life and will keep achieving things. In their eyes, you are an overachiever. Your spirit guides sometimes test you to see if you'll fall into the temptations of materialistic pursuits. They want you to learn detachment from the results. Because in life you'll get disappointed. And they don't want you to struggle when you receive a rejection or a failure. They want you to cherish the work you put in. Because they adore the quality in you to rebuild things and take care of the minute details in every project. They love how you make sure nothing misses your sight. They see that there is an air of mystery around you. You don't show every side of yours to everyone. If someone knows one then the other knows another. You've come a long way from feeling small to feeling accomplished. Your spirit guides want you to know that you are not alone they are always with you. They want you to be honest and not hide your true self from the world. Don't block your emotions thinking that they don't exist. Don't let work distract you to the extent that you forget why you even started in the first place. Don't let your emotions be the price you pay to get your thirst quenched. They know you can achieve anything you put your mind to but your spirit guides are only asking you to not ignore your social life. Take it as a sign and call an old friend.

Pile 3

The color your spirit guides associate you with: Gray/Red/Orange

Hello, my dear pile 3. Your spirit guides feel so sorry for you. They have been sending messages to you. They see that you have choices but you always choose the road that is going to bring suffering you. You burden your soul with the decision you have been consistently making. They see your fear. They see you getting overwhelmed and losing hope. You say that you are committed to something but over and over again you have been making a terrible choice. A choice that seems easier but is heavier on your mind, body, and soul. It's pure torture. You are choosing to take the responsibility of the world on your shoulders. You are performing takes which are impossible for a human being to carry for their whole life. You are trying to achieve everything at once. They see your wishes and they too want them to come true. But they want you to take one thing at a time. You are ignoring the fact that the tasks you think can be managed can't be. They want you to know that you can do ANYTHING in your life but not EVERYTHING. Especially not all at once. There's no doubt that you work so hard but they want you to put that hard work only on one goal or a maximum of two at a time. Not more than that. They are going crazy trying to tell you this. Now you have brought havoc in your own life. Through chaos, you will learn. They see you as someone very stubborn. All these qualities are of an achiever. The only problem is that you are not focused on one task or else you would have achieved a goal by now or at least would have seen the desired outcome. They see that you are indecisive and are afraid to take a decision. You need an adventure or a break to find your true purpose. Currently, your spirit guides see you as someone with so much potential and they don't want it to be wasted. I hear, “I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It's me Hi, I am the problem it's me.” They know you can do it. Your spirit guides want you to know that they stand with you during this test of time. They know you can make it through it.

#spirit guides #spirit guidance #message from spirit #pick a pile tarot #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #tarot tumblr #tarot reader #tarot cards #tarot reading #signs from the universe #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #message for the collective

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timeforsomethrillingheroicsblog · 1 year ago

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Syd/Richie Fic Recs

WIPS

Corner - Syd and Richie get sent on a roadtrip to pick up a new stove for The Bear, but they might get more than they bargained for along the way (Chapters: 3/?. Characters: Sydney Adamu, Richie Jerimovich, Carmen Berzatto, Neil Fak, Natalie Berzatto, Original Male Characters. Word Count: 8,510)

Loser Bitch (All The Way Down To The Bones) - Loster. N. A person or thing that loses or has lost something, especially a game or contest. (Chapters 2/3. Characters: Sydney Adamu, Richie Jerimovich, Carmen Berzatto, Marcus, Tina, Angel, Gary Woods, Natalie Berzatto, Eva Jerimovich, Emmanuel Adamu. Word Count: 7,623)

MULTI-CHAPTERED WORKS

In a New Light - Syd likes Richie a lot more than she initially thought she did. The only problem is that she isn't sure they're capable of liking each other without drawing blood. (Chapters: 5. Characters: Carmen Berzatto, Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 24,871)

SERIES

It Happened One Night - Sydney learned a long time ago to take her anger out on something she can’t hurt. (Works: 2. Characters: Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Characters: 13,449)

ONESHOTS

All Good Here - The only times that Syd and Richie had ever managed to get along were in fleeting moments, seconds that never lasted long enough and were always brought to an abrupt end with a sarcastic or scathing comment. (Characters: Carmen Berzatto, Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 3,599)

As Long As You're Here - Sydney has had a really, really long month and now she's 5 second away from throwing a glass at an annoying bartender. (AU. Characters: Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 4,508)

Bone Broth - It’s a gray Monday afternoon when Sydney rounds a corner at the grocery store and sees him at the other end of the aisle. (Characters: Sydney Adamu, Richie Jerimovich. Word Count: 10,020)

Chill Out - “You’re cold.” “Am not.” (Characters: Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 2,141)

I Close My Eyes and the Flashback Starts - "D'ya like Taylor Swift or not, Syd?" (Characters: Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 2,410)

I Feel For You - The thing with Richie was an accident; as much as going down on a man in your boss’ office after work can be an accident. (Characters: Carmen Berzatto, Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 3,318)

The Horoscope Today Said Things Would Go My Way - "What happened to 'rules are just unhelpful suggestions' and 'let go and live a little, Sydney'?" (Characters: Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu, Tiffany Jerimovich. Word Count: 1,909)

Tough - "Thanks," Syd said. "Mike, right?" "Berzatto," Mike said. He grinned, lopsided, and said, "It's a family place." (AU. Characters: Sydney Adamu, Richie Jerimovich, Michael Berzatto, Carmen Berzatto. Word Count: 13,737)

I'll Sleep in the Rain Under Your Headlights - “Wow, Richie, that’s so charming. You’re so fucking charming.” “Yeah, sweetheart, you could learn something.” (Characters: Carmen Berzatto, Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 6,407)

Mindfuck - "Alright, just checking. Because yesterday, you didn't even like me." "Well, whoop-de-fuckin'-do, I changed my mind," Syd said. (Characters: Carmen Berzatto, Eva Jerimovich, Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 25,232)

Sheets to the Wind - Sometimes you just want to be kissed. Sometimes you just need to feel somebody. Sometimes you have like, ten beers and you’re both there and bad tension is still tension so you make out. (Characters: Richie Jerimovich, Sydney Adamu. Word Count: 3,318)

#i just think they're neat #the bear #sydney adamu #richie jerimovich #richard “richie” jerimovich #richard jerimovich #sydney x richie #sydrichie #fic rec #the bear: writing

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andmaybegayer · 1 year ago

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What are some of the coolest computer chips ever, in your opinion?

Hmm. There are a lot of chips, and a lot of different things you could call a Computer Chip. Here's a few that come to mind as "interesting" or "important", or, if I can figure out what that means, "cool".

If your favourite chip is not on here honestly it probably deserves to be and I either forgot or I classified it more under "general IC's" instead of "computer chips" (e.g. 555, LM, 4000, 7000 series chips, those last three each capable of filling a book on their own). The 6502 is not here because I do not know much about the 6502, I was neither an Apple nor a BBC Micro type of kid. I am also not 70 years old so as much as I love the DEC Alphas, I have never so much as breathed on one.

Disclaimer for writing this mostly out of my head and/or ass at one in the morning, do not use any of this as a source in an argument without checking.

Intel 3101

So I mean, obvious shout, the Intel 3101, a 64-bit chip from 1969, and Intel's first ever product. You may look at that, and go, "wow, 64-bit computing in 1969? That's really early" and I will laugh heartily and say no, that's not 64-bit computing, that is 64 bits of SRAM memory.

This one is cool because it's cute. Look at that. This thing was completely hand-designed by engineers drawing the shapes of transistor gates on sheets of overhead transparency and exposing pieces of crudely spun silicon to light in a """"cleanroom"""" that would cause most modern fab equipment to swoon like a delicate Victorian lady. Semiconductor manufacturing was maturing at this point but a fab still had more in common with a darkroom for film development than with the mega expensive building sized machines we use today.

As that link above notes, these things were really rough and tumble, and designs were being updated on the scale of weeks as Intel learned, well, how to make chips at an industrial scale. They weren't the first company to do this, in the 60's you could run a chip fab out of a sufficiently well sealed garage, but they were busy building the background that would lead to the next sixty years.

Lisp Chips

This is a family of utterly bullshit prototype processors that failed to be born in the whirlwind days of AI research in the 70's and 80's.

Lisps, a very old but exceedingly clever family of functional programming languages, were the language of choice for AI research at the time. Lisp compilers and interpreters had all sorts of tricks for compiling Lisp down to instructions, and also the hardware was frequently being built by the AI researchers themselves with explicit aims to run Lisp better.

The illogical conclusion of this was attempts to implement Lisp right in silicon, no translation layer.

Yeah, that is Sussman himself on this paper.

These never left labs, there have since been dozens of abortive attempts to make Lisp Chips happen because the idea is so extremely attractive to a certain kind of programmer, the most recent big one being a pile of weird designd aimed to run OpenGenera. I bet you there are no less than four members of r/lisp who have bought an Icestick FPGA in the past year with the explicit goal of writing their own Lisp Chip. It will fail, because this is a terrible idea, but damn if it isn't cool.

There were many more chips that bridged this gap, stuff designed by or for Symbolics (like the Ivory series of chips or the 3600) to go into their Lisp machines that exploited the up and coming fields of microcode optimization to improve Lisp performance, but sadly there are no known working true Lisp Chips in the wild.

Zilog Z80

Perhaps the most important chip that ever just kinda hung out. The Z80 was almost, almost the basis of The Future. The Z80 is bizzare. It is a software compatible clone of the Intel 8080, which is to say that it has the same instructions implemented in a completely different way.

This is, a strange choice, but it was the right one somehow because through the 80's and 90's practically every single piece of technology made in Japan contained at least one, maybe two Z80's even if there was no readily apparent reason why it should have one (or two). I will defer to Cathode Ray Dude here: What follows is a joke, but only barely

The Z80 is the basis of the MSX, the IBM PC of Japan, which was produced through a system of hardware and software licensing to third party manufacturers by Microsoft of Japan which was exactly as confusing as it sounds. The result is that the Z80, originally intended for embedded applications, ended up forming the basis of an entire alternate branch of the PC family tree.

It is important to note that the Z80 is boring. It is a normal-ass chip but it just so happens that it ended up being the focal point of like a dozen different industries all looking for a cheap, easy to program chip they could shove into Appliances.

Effectively everything that happened to the Intel 8080 happened to the Z80 and then some. Black market clones, reverse engineered Soviet compatibles, licensed second party manufacturers, hundreds of semi-compatible bastard half-sisters made by anyone with a fab, used in everything from toys to industrial machinery, still persisting to this day as an embedded processor that is probably powering something near you quietly and without much fuss. If you have one of those old TI-86 calculators, that's a Z80. Oh also a horrible hybrid Z80/8080 from Sharp powered the original Game Boy.

I was going to try and find a picture of a Z80 by just searching for it and look at this mess! There's so many of these things.

I mean the C/PM computers. The ZX Spectrum, I almost forgot that one! I can keep making this list go! So many bits of the Tech Explosion of the 80's and 90's are powered by the Z80. I was not joking when I said that you sometimes found more than one Z80 in a single computer because you might use one Z80 to run the computer and another Z80 to run a specialty peripheral like a video toaster or music synthesizer. Everyone imaginable has had their hand on the Z80 ball at some point in time or another. Z80 based devices probably launched several dozen hardware companies that persist to this day and I have no idea which ones because there were so goddamn many.

The Z80 eventually got super efficient due to process shrinks so it turns up in weird laptops and handhelds! Zilog and the Z80 persist to this day like some kind of crocodile beast, you can go to RS components and buy a brand new piece of Z80 silicon clocked at 20MHz. There's probably a couple in a car somewhere near you.

Pentium (P6 microarchitecture)

Yeah I am going to bring up the Hackers chip. The Pentium P6 series is currently remembered for being the chip that Acidburn geeks out over in Hackers (1995) instead of making out with her boyfriend, but it is actually noteworthy IMO for being one of the first mainstream chips to start pulling serious tricks on the system running it.

The P6 microarchitecture comes out swinging with like four or five tricks to get around the numerous problems with x86 and deploys them all at once. It has superscalar pipelining, it has a RISC microcode, it has branch prediction, it has a bunch of zany mathematical optimizations, none of these are new per se but this is the first time you're really seeing them all at once on a chip that was going into PC's.

Without these improvements it's possible Intel would have been beaten out by one of its competitors, maybe Power or SPARC or whatever you call the thing that runs on the Motorola 68k. Hell even MIPS could have beaten the ageing cancerous mistake that was x86. But by discovering the power of lying to the computer, Intel managed to speed up x86 by implementing it in a sensible instruction set in the background, allowing them to do all the same clever pipelining and optimization that was happening with RISC without having to give up their stranglehold on the desktop market. Without the P5 we live in a very, very different world from a computer hardware perspective.

From this falls many of the bizzare microcode execution bugs that plague modern computers, because when you're doing your optimization on the fly in chip with a second, smaller unix hidden inside your processor eventually you're not going to be cryptographically secure.

RISC is very clearly better for, most things. You can find papers stating this as far back as the 70's, when they start doing pipelining for the first time and are like "you know pipelining is a lot easier if you have a few small instructions instead of ten thousand massive ones.

x86 only persists to this day because Intel cemented their lead and they happened to use x86. True RISC cuts out the middleman of hyperoptimizing microcode on the chip, but if you can't do that because you've girlbossed too close to the sun as Intel had in the late 80's you have to do something.

The Future

This gets us to like the year 2000. I have more chips I find interesting or cool, although from here it's mostly microcontrollers in part because from here it gets pretty monotonous because Intel basically wins for a while. I might pick that up later. Also if this post gets any longer it'll be annoying to scroll past. Here is a sample from a post I have in my drafts since May:

I have some notes on the weirdo PowerPC stuff that shows up here it's mostly interesting because of where it goes, not what it is. A lot of it ends up in games consoles. Some of it goes into mainframes. There is some of it in space. Really got around, PowerPC did.

#computer stuff #vlsi

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lullabyalikpoptarot · 2 months ago

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BTS Healing Messages

I felt pulled to this one, since most are in the Military, and that process tends to be a difficult one, although being an idol is difficult in itself.

Jin (Snake spirit)-The first things that comes to mind is that he has some healing to do from his enlistment. This is a time for him to work through the things he went through and figure things out. He has become a new person through this experience, and it is time for him to shed the old parts of himself that hold him back. He might want to take things slow regarding coming back into music, although he may not have a choice, but baby steps are what he may need. This card urges him to practice self- care and self-acceptance, and to forgive oneself and others of past deeds. It is a time to step into a new way of being.

Suga (Koala Spirit)-When I see this card I just think meditation practices would be advised. This is a time of reflection for him. A time to chill and relax. To learn to take things step by step. It is not a time overdo things at all. The card talks about someone being easily distracted or using distractions to avoid the uncomfortable. As I try to type this, I keep missing keys, it is hard for me to type, this indicates he is distracted, confused, and out of sorts energetically, legit I am struggling to type here, this is crazy. This may indicate a need for him to slow down, as I am trying to slow down typing this. He might need to work on dealing with his struggles, although very hard, learn to face it whatever is going on, rather than avoiding it. I will stop here, because I am struggling to type here. Positive vibes sent his way right now.

RM (Ant Spirit)-This is a time for him to work on collaboration. To learn to work as a team with the people he is with right now. Wow, the difference in typing here, his mind is clear and sharp I see. Typing speed back to normal here, that's crazy, anyway. This card just indicates for him to be a team player. To learn not to do things on his own. More people are better than one. He might want to do things on his own, claim his independence, but this is a time for him to accept help and support from others and work together to build a strong sense of community with the people he is surrounded by in the Military. Not too bad of a message here.

Jhope (Squirrel Spirit)-It is a time for him to gain confidence in his ability and skills. He has all the tools to get where he needs to be. There may be some confidence issues right now. He may be uncertain about his capabilities to do things, but this card tells him he's got all he needs. He is strong, powerful and capable of handling whatever comes his way. This card urges him to look back at all he has overcome, and recognize he will overcome this, like he has done before.

V (Mouse Spirit)-It is a time for him to take things small, simplify his life. To tend to the small details in his life right now. This isn't a time to overdo things, or overwork himself, little by little. Just do things bit by bit and eventually he will reach his end goal. He should learn to not try to do all things at once. This card urges him to focus on the little details around him, his energy seems a bit distracted as well, since I am also having a bit of difficulty typing here again, but it feels more like he is trying to do too much. He might be trying to perfect everything. He might try to do things on his own, rather than seeking help from others. Man, strong Cap energy there, I feel him on that as a Cap, but this card urges him to slow down, and take things step by step, it would lead to less stress in the long run.

Jimin (Horse Spirit)-The time is his, it is a time of liberation and freedom. Why do I feel free himself from the constraints of his mind. He may feel he is limited, but he is as free as he wants to be. This is a time to release control of the mind. He might want a bit more freedom regarding his life right now. But although the situation may be stifling, his mind constrains him more than he is. This card tells him that life is an adventure, no matter the circumstances, learn to adapt to the situation at hand. He is not as stuck as he thinks he is, but clinging to the past can leave him that way.

Jungkook (Dolphin Spirit)-This sucks, but this is how I grow, comes to mind when I see this card, yeah Military sucks, but there can be some good that comes out of it. It can be bad, but also be good. There are bad times and good times, both are true. Life is a duality, sometimes a contradiction. Working with the flow of life is needed for him right now. Learning that things are not as black and white as maybe as he used to be. Maybe he is questioning beliefs' he may have had before. This is a time for him to open up to new beliefs, but still hold his own, both can be true, but also can be wrong. There is sometimes no right or wrong, but different perspectives, maybe he is learning this lesson now.

Alright, interesting messages, this may be my favorite reading to do. I kind of find these reading pretty comforting.

#kpop tarot #bts tarot

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tubchunk · 1 year ago

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me spitting out all my thoughts here as i watch tubbo's vod

"YEP innocent" "innocent to me" yeah like qtubbo doesnt give a shit if fred is bad, he will burn it all down to find her

"its time for me to step into the sun, you know? and who cares if everyone else burns?" HOLY FUCKKKKKKKK TUBBO??????

"this is more than a villain arc, this is a lifestyle adjustment" oh qtubbo you are going to fly so close to the sun and youre going to burn and i am here for it all

"you wrong me? you're not gonna be around to tell the tale" HES SODHDJDBFBFJ QTUBBO ENJOYERS WE ARE SO BACK

"this is not a story of villains and heroes, this is a story of revenge" WHAT WAS IN HIS FOOD TODAY WHAT WAS HE ONNNNN LINE AFTER LINE IS HITTING

qtubbo knowing the server underestimates him and is now ready to show what he really is capable of YOU GO BABYGIRL

"this is a conflict where there arr no winners, just mutually-ensured destruction" goddamn he is on it today

GIRL 26 STACKS OF TNT?????????

"anything to get the upper hand, am i right?" AND THEN MENTIONING THE FED OFFICE WARP PLATE IS ACTIVE OH MY GODDDDDDD FED QTUBBO ERA????

"in my own experience, the members of the islandhave been much worse to me than the federation ever has been" oh my gOD YES QTUBBO FEELING THE FED PUNISHMENTS ARE STILL "JUSTIFIED" CUZ THERE WERE RULES BROKEN BUT THE ISLANDERS HAVE BEEN POKING AT HIM FOR THINGS HE CONSIDERS UNNECESSARY OH VILLAIN ARC TIME IS REALLLL

HE CALLED FRED "THE ONE PERSON I CARE ABOUT ON THIS SERVER" IM SICK TO MY STOMACHDBDBFGBDBFJFJ

qtubbo deciding that morning crew doesnt need to know about what hes gonna do, cuz theyll always be his boys :(

"i think we show them a healthy does of regret" his qcellbit is coming out !!

just imagining qtubbo with his airpods in as he is dramatic, bumping classical music

"the suit stays on until he's found, safe and alive" thr fact that qtubbo does all this, still in thr suit for his date GOD its so sad

that post that said qtubbo, a machine guy, tearinf every block down by HAND is important cuz that shows how genuinely furious he is. cuz he needed to feel the catharsis of tearing it all down himself.

why did he research warp plate mods to figure out where fred is😭😭 gay love stories are getting out of hand

"i made a promise today. i said i would break every block he has ever placed. *i* will break. fire wont break. tnt wont break. *i* will break." holy fucking shittttttttt he got possessed by qtubbo

FIT LMAOOOOO

qfit noticing and asking why qtubbo was at quackity's but as qtubbo askes him to leave him be, he did. he knew qtubbo would come to him when he wanted to.

COY PISO INTERMISSION!!!

qtubbo's action plan just being pushing qquackity over the edge that is so fucked up and i am here for this downward spiral !!

"i could mentally destroy him until hes a quivering ball of tears and regret on the floor" HOLY FUCK???????

"youre trying to turn me against the federation while actively doing thr same exact thing they're doing, the fucking hypocrisy" GOD i think qquackity is justified in his reasons BUT QTUBBO ISNT WRONG HERE!!!! IN HIS EYES, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THEYRE BAD AND THEN DO THR SAME THINF AS THEM???

him still saving all the stuff qquackity got from the eggs and others cuz "those seem important" GOD

"he doesnt need a hoise, cuz home is where the heart is. and i feel like thats a lesson he ought to learn. too bad that his is dead and cold" QTUBBO HOLY?????

"its like you never existed at all. thats my mission" girl youre speedrunning that descent into insanity and evil and i love you for it

"youre crazy. maybe i am! i dont give a shit!" wow hes so aware

"i didnt have a purpose before. but now its to make sure quackity never has a mark on this server" he didnt have a purpose and now, after losing fred, his purpose is to make qq pay holyyyy

"i never said i was morally grey, i said i would fuck up all his shit" LETSGO BABYGIRL

HIM GOING TO THE FED OFFICE TO PoSSIBLY SNITCH, CUZ THE ENEMY OF HIS ENEMY IS HIS FRIEND

NOT THE SERVER RESTART STOPPING HIM LMAOOOO

him literally saying he doesnt care and the enemy of his enemy is his friend yoo

qtubbo not being silly and walking into fred's office and just quietly moving on STOPPPPPP

NOT THE LORE SPOILERSSSSS LMAO

RETURN OF CUCURUCHO OFFICE PODCASTTTTTTTTT

"if youve become as bad as the thing you are trying to destroy to destroy it, yourr not better. youre just a replacement" BARS 🔥🔥🔥

qtubbo's voice instantly softening looking at fred's office and the desk plant he got STOPPPPP THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

him replacing the flower on fred's desk with a poppy :(((

QTUBBO REPLACING THE WARP AT HIS HOUSE TO THE FED OFFICE OH I CAN FEEL HOW THIS GOES DOWNHILL

"why do i bother making anything to help the server? this is the thanks i get" oh yeah he is fully turning against everyone soon

oh god convo with qfit

oh i know qfit is concerned hearing qtubbo talk this way but theres nothing he can do to make him change his mind, so he just stays by him

"just to watch him. not say a word. just watch him" WATCHER QTUBBO??????

oh qtubbo is actuslly scaring me rn

"theres an old sayinf that 'if youre on the quest for revenge, dig two graves" "thats alright. i dont care if i burn as long as he does as well. maybe ill dig 3 graves. maybe ill take some other people along with me on the way" HOLY FUCKCJDJFJDJFJFJDJFJ QTUBBO YOURE INSANE I LOVE YOU SO BAD

"so i take there was no date?" "i was invited on one. it was real to me" GODJDDHFB IM GONNA END IT ALL

qfit still reassuring qtubbo that fred is okay, he still cares for qtubbo so much thats someone he has grown to care for

TUBBO SHOWING FIT WHAT HE DID TO QUACKITY'S HOUSE AND SAYING "like i said. like he never existed" AND THEN JUST BOUNCED????? GIRL.

qtubbo gaslight gatekeep girlboss

"is it more satisfying to destroy a person. or watch them destroy themselves?" AND WE ARR WATCHING AS QTUBBO ALSO DESTROYS HIMSELF BIT BY BIT OOOOOOOOH

his ass spoiling stuff again😭😭

snack break!

PHIL HOUSE TIME

qtubbo instantly leaving when he sees quackity joined and fred joined god

the curse of bad nees bringer tubbo about to strike again with wilbur LMAO

distracted to spy on wilbur so real

QUIRKYDUOOOOOO

qtubbo just carrying thr flower from fred's office in his offhand im sick

qtubbo warning qpac that he may hear some stuff about him that isnt true i. coming weeks, and qpac saying he trusts qtubbo 100% MORNING CREW MY FAMILYYYYYYY

PAC MY BELOVEDDDDD

not pac and tubbo arguing over who has to break the news to wilbur lmaoooooo

qtubbo qquackity's biggest hater rn

damn im sad tubbo crashed before the event but that laptop was hanging by a THREAD

#q!tubbo #qsmp #qsmp tubbo #qsmp liveblog

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inbarfink · 1 year ago

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Okay, the thing is that I’ve seen some people speculate about the Winter King’s backstory and past assuming, like, that he’s always kinda been Like That. Like, that this version of Simon Petrikov has always been an evil heartless bastard or at least just a little less caring and loving than Mainworld Simon and that’s what led him down the path of the Winter King.

But speaking personally… I think this is a less compelling story as it relates to Simon’s character arc. I think it’s a lot more interesting if the Winter King was indeed ‘once just like’ Mainverse Simon.

That he used to be that selfless, dedicated and loving man - and he still managed to stoop this low. I mean, well, Simon seems to have come to the conclusion that this version of him was just ‘messed up’

and that was mostly part of a trend of him in these last two episodes just kinda going

You know, like, I don’t think that the lesson he should’ve learned from his adventures in Winterworld is just “wow, that one specific alternative version of me sure does suck!”. Farmworld, via its version of Finn, was a reminder for Simon of just how much of a traumatic experience the Curse of the Magic Crown is. Winterworld should’ve reminded him of the torment and indignity he was trapped in and how often he was a danger to himself and others

And of the truly fucked-up and terrible things he was capable of doing due to that torment and desperation of the Curse.

The Winter King is like a Whole New Exciting Way for Simon to lose his identity due to the Magic Crown, preserving his mind and memory by destroying the love and dedication and care that the Magic Crown never quite managed to fully burn away - his actual ‘immutable essence’. And this doesn’t work if the Winter King was always just Intrinsically a significantly different and worse person than Mainworld Simon, y’know?

And remember, we know the Winter King was in full on Ice King mode when he ‘conquered the crown’ (AKA cast that terrible spell to condemn Princess Bubblegum to the same terrible fate he’s been suffering).

And Mainverse Ice King was absolutely capable of trying to perform some fucked-up mind-altering spells of his own.

The only thing is that he was never quite that successful.

The main thing I am still unsure of with my favored reading/interpretation of how Winterworld Simon became the Winter King is…. There’s like, two different mutually-exclusive readings of what happened after the Curse was cast on Peebles and Simon regained his lucidity that are both very appealing to me from a thematic perspective. And I’m really not sure which one I like best.

Because the real issue was never ‘would Ice King be willing to cast such a horrible immoral spell?’, especially as one could easily imagine that whatever lucidity would allow Ice King to understand how his Crown is harming him and devise such a complicated spell would not necessarily extend to enough lucidity to fully understand the consequences of his actions. The issue is Winterworld Simon Petrikov, having regained his clarity of mind, choosing to maintain this spell for a hundred years. There's a reason why that's the thing Mainverse Simon fixated on when he figured out what's going on.

My first thought (and that’s something I went into more detail in a previous post) was this: Ice King’s madness was never wholly separated from Simon’s personality. Like, yeah, it was the Crown’s Magic that drove him so Mad and Sad - but it was also the trauma of losing Betty and surviving through the Mushroom War and feeling forced to abandon his beloved Marceline.

And that Madness was based on Simon’s psyche. Ice King’s loneliness and romantic obsession and Princess-nappings are all based on how much he loves and misses Betty

And now, Princess Bubblegum has been forced into a mirrored recreation of them.

The Candy Queen isn’t suffering from just the Magic Crown’s madness in general - but specifically from how it was shaped by Simon’s heart. And since you can’t actually separate this manifestation of Ice King’s Madness from Simon’s love for Betty - the Winter King ridding himself of one also rid himself of the other.

And since so much of Ice King’s Madness was interwoven into Simon’s psyche and especially his love and his kindness - throwing away all of this Madness into someone else also decimated these aspects of his personality. Princess Bubblegum already paid the ultimate price for Winterworld Simon’s sanity - but in a way he also paid a grave cost as well; becoming an unrecognizably different person he would previously find morally disgusting - even morso than Ice King.

Because the lines between Simon Petrikov and Ice King are always going to be a bit blurry and messy, and because Simon can’t probably live a life totally free of his Madness and Sadness but he’s gonna have to accept it for an actual mostly happy and sane life as someone who is recognizably Simon Petrikov.

Buuuut… that still basically means that casting of that Curse just kinda irrevocably transformed him into a Heartless Bastard. And that’s maybe not as compelling as if this change from kind and dorky Simon Petrikov into Evil Brian David Gilbert was done of his own free will

Hundreds of years of the Magic Crown eating away at his sanity and memories couldn’t truly destroy Simon Petrikov’s ‘immutable essence’. He still missed Betty more than anything even as this longing was twisted into something horrible, and still loved Marceline like a daughter even if he didn’t understand it. The one thing that could truly destroy this love that is so core to Simon’s being is him choosing to become selfish and cruel and uncaring.

And since he was in Full Ice King Mode when he cast the spell… I dunno if I can actually call it a fully-conscious act of cruelty. Deeply fucked up? Yes. But it’s hard to say how much Winterworld Ice King actually understood what he was doing. And while I think it’s much more emotionally compelling if the Winter King started from the same place as our beloved Mainworld Simon. The only difference can’t just be the pure luck that Mainworld Ice King was just never lucid or focused enough to successfully cast a spell that would transform him into an equally terrible person.

For this angle to work, this decision to continue doing the bad thing has to come from a lucid Simon who is still kinda recognizably Simon and still chose to continue perpetuating the Curse Ice King cast on Princess Bubblegum.

This might seem unthinkable, especially considering how obviously disgusted Mainworld Simon was at the Winter King’s actions. But you have to consider just how much Winterworld Simon would be desperate to not be Ice King again, Mainworld Simon was once willing to die then live the rest of eternity as IK. The fact that he’s so willing to throw away his sanity again now is so worrying because it shows just how badly he’s being doing - because at first, Simon was fighting so badly to avoid diving back into this pit of madness. And that Spell must've seen like the only chance he was gonna get.

And, yes, Simon Petrikov is a character full of kindness and love and selflessness - but that never meant he was the sort of Cinnamon Roll incapable of ever hurting anymore and especially not when he’s desperate or lashing out. That’s kinda the fallacy Simon himself fell into when he had that total identity crisis in the second episode. He just couldn’t find a way to join his previous identity as the patient and fatherly man who took care of Marceline

With the fact he made a little girl cry.

But yes, both we the audience and Simon himself have to face the fact that despite possessing such strong fatherly instinct and a desire to help children - Simon can also lash out in his trauma in a very cruel manner that goes against all of his own values.

And by the end of the fourth episode, he was tempted to let himself die - even though that will also utterly destroy a whole universe of sapient beings living in his head. It was brief thanks to Fionna knocking some sense into him and obviously the Literal Suicidal Depression involved was also seriously clouding his judgement. But that is still Simon nearly dooming a whole realm of other people because he was feeling absolutely desperate.

Not to mention him kidnapping someone and forcing him into a terrible experiment for the sake of trying to summon GOLBetty.

A desperate attempt to reconnect with his lost love (and in a way, a missing part of his identity as Betty Grof’s other half). Which I mean, yeah, ‘it’s just Choose Goose’, but also last time GOLB was summoned it nearly fucked up all of Ooo and the only thing GOLBetty could do about that is get herself as far away from Simon as she can. And now Simon is gonna try and summon his Eldritch GF again in the middle of a major population center.

And of course, Winterworld Simon and Mainworld Simon are never going to be fully exactly the same person because ‘Simon Petrikov’ is not some immutable unchanging concept and we know that they’ve had different experiences. It was really so sweet to see Mainverse Simon pay forwards the kindness he’s gotten from his loved ones when he was stuck as the Ice King towards the Candy Queen

But it also reminded me that the Winter King himself never got that sort of kindness and grace in the first place. The Curse was cast one hundred years ago. Back then, Marceline was still avoiding him because she couldn’t stand to see what he had become, Finn and Jake were not his friends on account of neither of them being born yet and… they also directly or indirectly helped him get his entire rest circle of friends.

So Mainworld Simon emerged from an Ice King who was not absolutely free from misery and loneliness… but has also experienced happiness and friends both from people who just loved him for who he was at the moment

And grace and kindness from those concerned for his condition and honestly doing their best to make sure he’s doing his best in his current state and trying to bring out whatever of Simon was left in him.

While Winterworld Simon emerged from Ice King at his worst and his most miserable.

And while the Winter King’s callousness about Betty would kinda always be a worrying testament to how much Simonness he has lost - it is extra disturbing for the viewers and Mainworld Simon because they have seen Betty sacrifice her entire being for his sake. That would just reinforce his own love and dedication to her in his mind… not always in the healthiest of ways.

But the Winter King has experienced nothing of that sort. He was not freed in a self-sacrifice fueled by love that literally defied time itself. Wintdrworld Simon only regained his lucidity because of a deeply fucked up and selfish action he has taken as the Ice King. And as far as he knew, that was his only choice except death or the eternal despair of being the Ice King.

And so maybe Winterworld Simon managed to convince himself that he can stay like this for just one day. Just one day of enjoying both lucidity and Magic and then he’s going to undo it because obviously he knows that it’s terrible what the Ice King did! I mean, yeah, Princess Bubblegum and the rest of the Candy Kingdom are suffering but they’re also going to suffer when the Ice King comes back so it’s really a lateral move for them. For just one day!

And then by the next day, Winterworld Simon finds one more excuse why he can wait until tomorrow to bring everything back to normal. And day by day it becomes just a little bit easier to justify perpetuating something so terrible. Day by day he gives up a little bit more of his morals and his selflessness and his love. Until he finally finds out that he just doesn’t care anymore about being a selfish heartless bastard.

The same way the Magic Crown took his sanity and identity gradually - he’s now so desperate to cling to them that he chose to tear away at what was once the core most parts of himself

Until he became just as unrecognizable.

Both of these ideas are really compelling to me but they’re also kinda opposite. Maybe there’s a way to balance them both in a way that preserves what makes them so interesting for Simon’s character in the first place??

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aishangotome · 3 months ago

Text

Roger Barel: Chapter 11

Chapter 10 Premium Story

♡———♡

From errand girl, I was promoted to pet dog, and Roger gifted me a lovely collar – I mean choker.

But that same night, I did something that was almost like being lovers, and now I'm holding a grand self-reflection meeting all alone.

(Ugh... Being with Roger always throws me off balance.)

Ale: Woof woof woof!

When I lift my downcast face, Ale comes running.

Kate: Oh, Ale. Hehe, you're awake? Good morning.

Ale: Woof. ... Woof?

Ale looks up at me with a puzzled look, as if sensing my troubles with animal intuition.

Kate: Hmm. Today, I have to write the overdue Fairytale Keeper report. And then...

*flashback*

Roger: Is removing the cursed from this world good, or is it evil?

Roger: You don't have to answer right away. Tell me when you have the answer within yourself.

*flashback over*

It's not just the almost-lover act with Roger that's been occupying my mind lately.

(The "homework" Roger assigned me that day...)

(With my current knowledge, I don't know nearly enough about the cursed to answer the homework question.)

Kate: This is something... I can only ask your master about, right?

Ale: Woof!

After submitting the report to Victor, I knocked on the research room door with Ale.

Roger: Oh, what are two dogs doing together?

As I approach, he tries to pet Ale's head with one hand and my head with the other, so I quickly dodge.

Roger: Oh, the rebellious phase?

Ignoring his words, I lower my head.

Kate: I have a request. Please lend me your research materials on the cursed.

Roger: Hmm, research materials, huh?

Roger: These materials are like my life. First, let me hear your intentions.

Kate: To find the answer to the homework you gave me, I don't have enough knowledge as I am now.

Kate: Also, since I was lucky enough to meet Crown, even if it's for a limited time, I want to face things seriously.

Kate: Whether being cursed is a good thing or a bad thing for Crown.

Kate: I thought I wanted to think about it with my own head and leave a record of it as a Fairytale Keeper.

Roger: ...You're the kind of person who cares about the cursed like that, huh?

Roger turns his back and starts gathering research materials on the cursed from his desk and bookshelves...

Roger: Here you go. I don't mind lending them to you.

He dumps a whole bunch of books, files, and even scraps of paper into my arms.

Kate: Wow, thank you! ...But, this much?

Roger: What, are you only brave at the beginning, lil' lady?

Roger's lips curl up in a challenging smirk, and I, the competitive fool, am easily provoked.

Kate: Don't be ridiculous. Absorbing this amount of material is a piece of cake!

Roger: Oh really? Then here's some more. Take this.

Kate: Ugh...

He dumps even more materials on me, and my arms grow heavy.

Roger: Learning new things and expanding your knowledge of the world is also a form of strength.

Roger: If you can read through all of this and absorb it, I might promote you from pet dog to assistant.

Roger: But, a sweet lil' lady like you might break under the pressure...

--CHOICES--

Don't underestimate me.

Are you trying to provoke me?

I'm quite capable, you know.

---------------

Kate: I'm quite capable, you know. More than you think, Roger.

Roger: Oh really? Now you're talking. Live up to my expectations.

(Geez...)

I stagger towards the exit, burdened by the massive pile of materials.

Roger: I'm counting on you, Kate.

Kate: .............

I glare at Roger as he opens the door for me, and then I leave the basement.

Ale: Woof!

Ale chases after me towards the door, but then stops and looks up at his owner.

As if to say, "Don't be too mean to her."

Ale: .............

Roger: ...That guy probably thinks Kate is one of his dog friends, not a human.

As the door closes, Roger chuckles to himself.

I leave the basement and head for the garden.

Kate: Let's change the mood and read outside, Ale.

Ale: Woof!

I sit down on a chair and start going through the research materials on the cursed that Roger lent me.

(I'm pretty sure all of Alex's research materials were confiscated by the police, right?)

(That means all of this is what Roger researched himself.)

The vast amount of material is all in Roger's handwriting, representing the days he spent on research – the time he's lived.

Kate: ...I'll read them carefully.

And with that, I turn to the first page of the research materials.

("The cursed" are humans who have been cursed since birth, and it is not related to genetics.)

(And I believe that it is not acquired but innate.)

(In other words, I believe that the cursed are "individual" mutations.)

The vast amount of material is made up of hypotheses, verifications, and resulting conclusions, and with each page I turn, I am surprised by new facts.

As I read through it carefully, not missing a single detail, my eyes are drawn to a certain sentence.

Kate: ... "The tragic fate that the cursed suffer cannot be changed. There are no exceptions in the past," huh?

Kate: Wait...?

In the blank space at the edge of the research material, I find scribbled writing.

"The more I learn about the cursed, the more absurd it is."

"It's like God's whim, and I don't like it."

Only that scribble, mixed in with the numerous research data written without emotion, revealed Roger's heart, and for a moment, my breath stopped.

He started researching the cursed since he was a child, and even now, he hasn't found a way to remove the curse.

(...How... daunting.)

His life is like walking alone in the darkness with no end in sight.

Ale: Woof woof!

Suddenly, I look up at the sound of Ale's voice.

Kate: Whoa. Ale, what's wrong? Roger?

I look in the direction of the voice, and the owner of the footsteps appears.

Ellis: Sorry, it's not Roger.

Kate: Ellis.

Ellis: I thought I'd give Ale a treat.

Ellis: Also, Roger said you were with Kate.

Steam rises from the offered mug.

Ellis: Hot milk. This is for Kate.

As I wrap my hands around the mug, warmth from the ceramic spreads through me, and a natural smile appears on my face.

Kate: It's warm... Thank you for your kindness, Ellis.

Ellis: I just want to make you happy.

As always, Ellis says this while petting Ale's head.

Then --Ale's hands stick together with a snap.

(Ah, Ellis' thorn ability...)

Ale: Woof?

Ellis: Sorry, I'll undo it right away. "It's okay now."

(Ah...)

Alex: ... Thank you. – "It's okay now."

At that moment, the images I had in my mind overlap, transcending time.

(Alex and Ellis' abilities are... the same?)

(That means...)

What came to mind was a sentence I had just seen in Roger's research materials.

("The curse itself does not die out even if the cursed person dies.")

("After the cursed person dies, it reappears after an unspecified period of time, but")

("People with the same curse do not exist simultaneously.")

(Then... does that mean Ellis became the "Thorn Cursed" after Alex?)

As I ponder this, fingertips touch the space between my eyebrows.

Ellis: I've never seen you make that face before.

Ellis: Kate, you're starting to look a little like Roger.

Kate: Huh...?

Ellis: Hehe, because Kate, you were making the same face as Roger just now.

Kate: What kind of face is that?

Ellis: The face of a child who is absorbed in something and desperately thinking about it.

Ellis: You're studying the cursed, right? I heard from Roger. Is there anything I can help you with?

Ellis leans in and peers into my face.

Kate: Then... would you mind telling me about how you and Roger met?

Ellis: Sure.

Ellis' twilight-colored eyes waver slightly.

Ellis: ...I met Roger before joining Crown.

Ellis: I was already assisting Jude with his company, but even then, Jude was resented by many.

Ellis: One night, Jude was stabbed with a knife and stumbled into the clinic run by Roger's father.

Ellis: Roger was there, helping out at the clinic – that's how we met.

Ellis: And, to get back to the story. At that time, Jude asked Roger, not his father, to operate on him.

Kate: Why?

Ellis: Because the reason for Jude's injury was always shady business, so ordinary doctors were reluctant to treat him.

Ellis: But Roger didn't have a medical license at the time and was looking for practice subjects for his surgical skills.

Kate: So... it was convenient for both of you?

Ellis: Yeah, that's right.

(So, he was performing procedures without a license back then...)

(I'll pretend I didn't hear that.)

Ellis: After that, Jude was often injured, and each time, Roger secretly treated him...

Ellis: That's how we started visiting him so often.

Ellis: When he found out we were cursed, Roger was really happy.

(I'm sure he was as happy as when he met Alex.)

Remembering the boyish smile he sometimes shows, my chest tightens.

Ellis: It was the umpteenth night that Jude was injured...

Ellis: We were having idle chat, Roger and I, beside Jude who had fallen asleep.

Ellis: That night, we were listening to the story of when Al was tested to see if he was cursed.

Ellis gazes into the distance as if recalling a memory.

Ellis: That "Alfons" guy. He forced you to eat shoe polish?

Roger: Yeah, he showed me an illusion. That's how I realized he was cursed.

Roger: But the price I paid for that was...

Roger: Every time I eat cake, I'm reminded of the taste of shoe polish.

Ellis: Hehe, that's a pretty big price to pay.

As they laugh together, Roger suddenly stares intently at Ellis.

Roger: Come to think of it, I've never seen your ability.

Ellis: Oh, is that so... maybe?

Ellis: Well then... I'm going to surprise you a little, Roger, sorry.

Ellis touches the top of Roger's head.

Then... his hand sticks, as if in prayer.

Ellis: This is my ability. If you poke Jude's forehead...

Roger: .....................

Roger: ...Alex.

Ellis: Roger?

Roger: Oh, no. It's just been a while since I've had an ability used on me, so I was surprised.

Roger: Ellis. You have the "Thorn Curse," don't you?

(...So Alex and Ellis have the same curse after all.)

Ellis: ...I wonder why Roger looked sad when he found out I had the "Thorn Curse."

Ellis: And sometimes he looks at me with the same expression.

(...It's not my place to tell him.)

Kate: Is that so?

Ellis: But I don't want to make him sad, so I don't pry into it.

Ellis: I want to make Roger happy too.

Roger witnessed Ellis' eventual demise, and that's why he doesn't want him to follow the same path as Alex.

(I can't easily say that we can avoid that outcome, though.)

Roger: I want to erase the cursed – from this world.

The voice that resurfaces in my chest tightens around my heart.

Kate: ...I'm sure just talking to Ellis like this makes Roger happy.

Ellis: Really? Even enough to kill for?

Kate: Th-that's not allowed!

--Ellis' curse seems quite complicated too.

After a few days, I finished reading the massive amount of material Roger gave me.

(Maybe I'll go borrow some medical books after I change.)

(If I have medical knowledge, I'll understand the cursed even better...)

That's what I was thinking when...

Roger: Kate, good news. We might have found a new cursed!

Chapter 11 Letter

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