#i am capable of learning things wow

[touchlikethesun]

it's nice when you realise that you've like... learned something idk like, i was just looking for a book on a database, and i scrolled past one and immediately thought "oh that's a grolier binding isn't it?" and it was!!! i'm so tickled that i can just... recognise a specific binder now... and if pressed i think i could tell the difference between a wotton binding and a grolier binding and idk i think i can be proud of that!

[girl-bateman]

Sleepless night </3

[badjokesbyjeff]

What Pets Write in their diaries 

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary.........8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...Day 983 of my captivity....My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid. The bird has got to be an informant.I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now.

[pianostarinwonderland]

Hello hello guys!! I participated in the Octazinelle zine 😳👉👈 and this was the fic I wrote!

Link of the zine is found in the notes section. I really hope you enjoy!

graduation [octazinelle: high tide fic submission]

in the few months they have before getting ready to leave for internship, floyd and jade go through the turbulence that future uncertainties bring: where will they go, what will they do, but most importantly... what will happen to their relationship with azul?

ft. floyd leech, jade leech, and azul ashengrotto

╰┈➤ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hello hello!! i participated in a zine titled octazinelle: high tide! you can find the full zine through here~ this was a very fun project and i'm so excited to post the fic i wrote for you guys ^^ i really care about this fic so much, so there will be additional notes that i will leave somewhere :3c don't worry, they won't be hard to find fufufu

“Floyd Leech.”

Said student is just climbing down the steps of the lecture room when he hears his name being called in an austere manner. Any remaining students in the classroom cast Floyd that ‘oh boy’ look as they leave the room. Floyd looks to the teacher’s table where Professor Trein stares at him sternly. He returns the stare with a miffed look, but he approaches the professor nonetheless.

“This is the second time this week that I have caught you sleeping in my class,” Trein rebukes. “This may be your last semester in Night Raven College before you go on your internship, but that doesn’t mean that you can be negligent in my class.”

“Uh huh.”

“Don’t give me that attitude, Leech. I do not want to give any penalties so late into the semester, but if I catch you sleeping one more time, I will. Do I make myself clear, Leech?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“You may now go.” 

Floyd steps out of the classroom with the same expression as he wore when getting called out. Damn Professor Red Squid, if you don’t wanna give detention, then just don’t, he thinks to himself. Meh, oh well. I don’t feel hungry at all, should I even go to the canteen? But where do I even wanna go? Everywhere’s so noisy. 

He walks for a bit, hands in his pockets.

Ah wait. 

There’s the supplies arriving today for Mostro Lounge. 

Floyd barely notices his frown growing ever so slightly deeper, but students walking along the same path as him instinctively step aside. Nobody in their right mind would dare interrupt a disgruntled Leech twin. 

I’m not going to help out with those. Azul can suffer with those all he wants.

“Floyd! There you are!” 

Floyd stops in his tracks. He does not look at the classmate who briskly walks up to him, but he already feels the annoyance rushing to his head. 

“Floyd, we got a paper due in two days,” the classmate yells. “We just need your part, and we'll be done! When are you gonna send it in the gc?”

“Go away.”

“Hah? Don’t give me that!” The groupmate’s voice raises in anger. “We have a literal group paper to submit, and we just need your part so that we can submit it earlier!”

Floyd faces him finally, but this time, his eyes are dilated, teeth are displayed, and brows are furrowed. An all-too familiar menacing expression. “I said go away.”

“Eep!” The classmate takes a step back, expression immediately shifting to fear for his life. “O-ok ok! Just- just submit before the 11:59 deadline in two days! That’s all I needed to say, ok!”

And right after, the student runs away.

Floyd huffs. He has now made up his mind on where to go. 

Jade is wiping the sweat off of his face in the locker rooms when one of his Octavinelle classmates approaches him. “Hey, Azul’s calling for you,” he says. “He’s by the gates right now.”

“Oh?” Jade looks up in confusion. “I thought Floyd was supposed to be with him right now.”

“Well, he’s not there now,” the classmate replies while scratching his head. “They need more backup and Azul’s calling for you.” 

“Ah, I see.” He smiles. “I shall be there, then.”

The classmate leaves the locker rooms, leaving Jade all by himself. The rest of the class has already left, eager for lunch. 

Jade slows down in cleaning himself up.

Azul’s name brings back a rip that’s been tearing at his heart. It burns in the way that electricity probably burns, maybe to a lesser degree: his body stops working the way it usually does, and his chest still reels from a shock of pain. It’s not physical by any means, though by the Sea Witch, he wishes it was. It would have been so much easier to deal with. He’d be shipped to the best hospital, all bills easily paid for, and he’d be recovering well back in Octavinelle. Or if he dies, then that is that. No more pain to feel.

No, it’s a harder kind of pain. It’s the kind of pain that makes him want to tear flesh and bone with teeth and claws, the kind of hurt that urges him to destroy a ship, the kind of ache that makes him want to burn his already burning eyes. It’s the kind of pain that won’t go away even if he does all three.

Jade breathes in. Hold it. Breathe out. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Breathe in… breathe out…

He cannot afford to lose himself now, whether by wrath or by tears. 

He packs his bags, changes back to his uniform, and leaves the lockers. His light footsteps are overshadowed by the sounds of enthusiastic jogs to the cafeteria in the corridors. Jade takes a moment to breathe in the afternoon sunny air, letting out a bit more of his worries out of his lungs before he walks down the stairs and through Main Street. 

And soon, he finds himself nearing the tall gates of the school, where a group of students are gathered around large boxes. 

It annoys Jade that the gleam of silver hair stirs mixed emotions. On one hand, his troubles are dashed completely from seeing the very person he keeps close. On the other hand, it is the same person who’s making him go through hell.

He swiftly shifts his focus to the situation in front of him. Some of the other boxes should have been on the way to the Mostro Lounge by this time, yet there are still several of them that the other Octavinelle students have to carry. It isn’t surprising—after all, they decided to upgrade a few things, in preparation for the next dorm leader. Supplies that a simple run to Sam’s shop won’t cover, no matter how much he claims to have it all in stock. 

“Be extra careful with that. That tableware costs us quite a fortune.” Standing by the boxes with a clipboard resting on his arm, Azul watches his dorm mates as he writes notes on the clipboard. He has his dorm leader facade on, serious and stern, but even from a distance, Jade can see his slightly nervous gaze towards the supplies. 

As another pair leaves with a heavy box, Azul looks at them before his eyes fall on him. “Jade, good you made it on time.”

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets. “I thought that Floyd was supposed to help with the supplies.”

“Well, he’s not here now,” Azul answers, frowning from annoyance. “I was wondering if you had any idea as to where he is right now.”

“I don’t. His history class should have ended 10 minutes ago.” 

“Hmph, nevermind. We need to get all of this into the lounge.” He gestures to the boxes. “All the boxes are complete, and we’ll do a final count of all the supplies once everything has been moved there.”

“I see.” Jade nods. “Will you need me to assist you?”

“No, you may enjoy your lunch break after helping us move these boxes,” Azul answers. “I’ll be making my next successor do that. It’s a part of his learning, after all.” 

“Ah. I see.” 

It annoys him to feel that same shock of hurt returning to his chest. 

A bemused look crosses Azul’s face. “Does that offend you,” he teases. “I never took you for one to be tilted by that.”

Jade blinks. “Why Azul, whatever makes you think I’d be offended over that?” He smiles, with a bit more effort than he’s used to. “You must be imagining things from how little rest you have in passing on your position to the little siren.”

“You exaggerate.” He keeps his clipboard and pen into his bag. “We need to move. Jade, carry that box over there.” He points to one of the smaller boxes, marked with the word FRAGILE, and picks up another box. 

And wordlessly, Jade follows, carrying a box that must contain brand new tea sets. New tea sets that remind him that a new dorm leader and manager of the Mostro Lounge will take over. 

That his term and Azul’s will end because they’ll move up to 4th year and go their separate ways. 

Jade resists the urge to break them. He’ll carry these then find Floyd. 

Back at home, the schools of fish would band together, staying close until Floyd swam past them, splitting their perfect formation. Together, apart. Together, apart. 

Together. Apart.

Separation was not new to Floyd at all. In an “eat or be eaten” world, fish and merfolk alike live with the thought that the people closest to them may be gone the next day. Floyd has hunted before, has fought before. He’s even the one who said goodbye to his parents when leaving for Night Raven College.

But he said goodbye with the promise of seeing them again after school is done. 

He stares down at the river that runs below the bridge. This spot is rarely ever frequented by students at lunchtime, if only because everyone else is either eating in the canteen, having meetings, or just being with friends, and the bridge is on the other path away from the Hall of Mirrors. Besides Octavinelle, it feels the closest to home on this campus: here, he can watch the current flow, and the fish that live below its clean stream. 

Home, huh? Floyd wonders if home will still feel like home once he returns from Night Raven College. 

It will be the same dark passageways and bioluminescent lights, the same faces but all grown up. Except that he isn’t a child that can pick fights with anyone and nab their scales as a prize, he is to be stuck with running the family business of making deals, expanding connections, beating up people who betray their trust. Pretty much like what he already does with Azul now. 

Except that the boss that would stand with him and Jade is not Azul at all. 

The fish in the river swim with no obstacle in their path. They may split apart to avoid the occasional rock, but they would be together again. Together, apart. Together. In the small space that they share, there is no vast ocean that opens up new paths for them to split ways. Not until they swim down the cliff and into the open sea. 

Floyd has never envied river dwellers until now. 

Jade walks behind Azul going to Mostro Lounge. It’s something of a routine that started in Night Raven College. When Azul walks, he and Floyd follow him from behind. He doesn’t remember how or when it started. Probably started to make Azul’s image look powerful: he is in the front, wearing a coat that imposes authority, and Jade and Floyd standing at the back makes him look almost impossible to touch. 

Regardless of the hows or the whys, it’s a position that has always given him comfort. From behind, Jade can watch Azul. He can see if Azul is pleased with something by the bounce in his step, or if he’s pissed by the clack of his heels. And from the front, Azul can’t read Jade since he’s always looking forward, and that lets Jade startle him with a random brutal teasing remark. 

Right now, though, he wishes to not look at Azul. 

Azul appears to be beaming, and Jade knows exactly why. He’s found the perfect successor for not only leadership of Octavinelle but also manager for his prized restaurant. He’s gotten accepted in all the places he applied for his internship. 

He’s gotten accepted already into the university that he aims to go to.

Jade vividly remembers the way Azul grinned from ear to ear when he received the email. He remembers the audible, “Yes! Yes, I got in!” that almost sounded teary-eyed. He remembers Floyd saying that they should celebrate over some drinks. He remembers smiling to the best of his abilities while saying congratulations for being accepted. 

That was two weeks ago. He’s said many fake things in his life, and he would never say sorry for them. But until now, the heartless congratulations weighs heavily in his conscience. 

It’s simple, really: Azul has been working hard all his life to achieve his dreams. And Jade was there to witness the journey, from the ideas to the headaches to the defeats to the victories. It’s a huge milestone for Azul to get to stay on land and study in a place where he feels he will thrive. So it’s unfair really, to not be able to celebrate such an achievement happily. 

And yet, Jade can’t bring himself to. 

Their relationship started as something transactional. Tweels keep his secrets, Azul lets them in his plans. Tweels support him, Azul entertains them. And if Azul fails to entertain, then they will drop him like plastic to the chute. There and done. That’s supposed to be their relationship. 

So why then does it hurt to hear that Azul got accepted? Why does it hurt to think about how in a few months, he won’t see Azul as much as the present? Why does it hurt to think about the uncertainty of when they will see each other again? 

“Jade, you can put down the box over there.”

Jade blinks. He’s at Mostro Lounge. Has he been so deep in thought that he didn’t realize when he arrived?

Schooling his expression, he puts down the box on the counter that Azul gestures to, unaware of the concerned expression on Azul’s face. 

Floyd doesn’t know when he started staring into nothingness to gaze at memories, but he’s now seeing the stone stage from middle school, where his younger self is playing drums to his brother’s bass and someone’s piano. 

He remembers, he was getting irritated with the piano melody, and at the time he couldn’t pinpoint why, except that it lacked something. Now that he thinks about it, it’s because that pianist’s playing had no life. No vigor, no passion, just technique that wouldn’t get anyone dancing. “Next,” he had said and stopped playing. The pianist was protesting. Floyd forgot what he said, just that he protested that he wasn’t done playing, but he didn’t care enough to hear about it.

“Everyone sucks, Jade,” he threw his sticks to the ground. “No one’s good enough to be part of our band. Let’s just go.” And he and Jade—who was bigger than him at the time—left the small auditorium of their school. And it’s a blur, Floyd doesn’t remember why he and Jade didn’t go home right away, but he remembers very well the syncopated melodies coming from the piano they forgot to close. 

And he remembers the gasp he made, the way his heart was stirred from how alive the music sounded. 

And he remembers how quickly he swam back inside to see who’s playing, and his wide-eyed gaze when he spotted the familiar octopus.

“Hey hey, that was so cool,” he said to the flustered Azul. “Play some more, play some more!” 

“Huh? No way, I have to go soon!”

But he didn’t let him go. He insisted he play the piano as he picked up his sticks and played a beat. “Come on, just one song! Then you can go!”

And he started his beat. And when it was just him for a long moment, Floyd had wondered if Azul left. But the sound of an E minor reached his ears, and the next moment, Azul’s playing was matching to the beat of the drums. And his music had heart. It had spirit, it had technique, it had passion. 

And the best part? Azul matched his rhythm when nobody else did. 

“I knew I’d find you here, Floyd.”

Eyes turning away from his reflection in the water, Floyd looks up to the face that he’s known since birth. Jade, impeccably presentable despite having PE class earlier, walks towards Floyd, leaning on the railing of the bridge he stands on. But he does not go near him. 

“What do you want,” Floyd asks. 

“We had a new batch of supplies arrive at the Lounge today,” Jade answers. “You were supposed to help out with the unpacking.”

He only answers with a curt hum before turning back to the water below. 

He hears a sigh. And footsteps approaching.

“You’re thinking about last last week, aren’t you?”

Floyd turns again to Jade. He’s by the bridge railing now, same side as him, but he continues to keep a respectable distance. Jade doesn’t look at him directly either, his gaze directed at the horizon ahead of them. 

He’s thinking about it too.

“Yeah, you could say that,” he answers. “It’s just, really ass, y’know?”

Floyd believes that in spite of their identical genetics, they are two people with different identities, dreams, and beliefs. And don’t get him wrong, it is a lot better that way to have individuality. But deep down, there is a comfort knowing that Jade probably feels the same feeling that leaves Floyd dizzy with frustration, that binds his chest with a mix of anger and sadness. And Sea Witch knows, Floyd needs that comfort now. 

“‘Ass’, you say,” Jade repeats. “Tell me about it.” 

A beat of silence passes between them. 

“It’s just that. It takes half a fish brain to know that Azul’s got grand plans after graduation. Get into the best business school, build his own corporation, build another company, and a third company. And I’ve known this for Sea Witch knows how long, and it was all fine, I didn’t care that much, but then…”

“...But then the letter came in.” Jade fills in. 

“Yeah,” Floyd emphatically answers. “That damned acceptance letter from whosit business university came in. Like, I don’t know why, but it just made everything feel… real. That Azul’s really gonna go somewhere else. And I hate that it’s been hitting me like this for the last two weeks. I can’t focus well, I’m pissed off, Trein’s told me off about sleeping. It’s so ass.”

The silent air between the twins weighs heavier. Floyd’s eyes briefly look at the fish in the river again—the damned fish that he wants to throw a rock at so they separate too—before he turns to Jade. “How ‘bout you? Was it also the letter?”

Jade doesn’t answer right away. Floyd understands; in moments like these, Jade hesitates to speak his mind, even to him. It’s part of their nature to be cowardly, after all, just that Jade exhibits it more between the two of them. 

“... Somehow, yes, but if I were to think about it… it’s actually been a while now,” he finally answers.

“Eh? Really?”

“I knew down the line that there would be farewells to be made,” Jade says. “Like you said, Azul has already made plans for himself, and he invests in those plans, years in advance. But there’s always that part of me that wonders… if there’s space for us in those plans.” 

Floyd finds himself inhaling sharply at those words. 

“I see his goals coming to fruition, and it pains me to say that I can’t even properly support him. The letter, the new supplies, the little siren he’s going to appoint… they’re all reminders that it will all change.” Jade smiles, but in pain. “Azul won’t be the dorm leader, I won’t be the vice leader, and we won’t do the things we used to do. And we won’t see each other until perhaps the next VDC. And when we graduate… would he call an end to our agreements? Would we grow so busy that we become strangers again? We would always say that our relationship is merely transactional and that we would leave him if we get bored, but…”

Jade stops, and the air weighs even heavier. Floyd feels taken back to the first day on land, when breathing with lungs felt heavy and difficult. 

Suddenly, Jade laughs. “What clownfish have we become?”

Floyd too joins his twin in mirth. “Can’t help it, Azul makes me feel understood.”

He raises a brow. “Is it gonna be about the first time you played together with him?”

“I mean, it’s how it started,” he answers. He doesn’t realize the small smile that settles on his face as he remembers once more. “Like, back then, everyone just kinda avoided, y’know? And that’s fine, at least, I thought it was. ‘Twas fun and all to be intimidating. But no matter what I’d do, Azul always matches me. He knows exactly what to play to my rhythm. And even in how we work, he knows what’s the stuff I’d like to do or the stuff I’d do well in. It just feels nice.”

It feels too nice. 

Too nice that if it disappears, it will leave his heart bound tightly by melancholy. 

“…Hey, I can’t be the only sappy one here.” Floyd eyes Jade. “C’mon Jade, share too what’s made you appreciate Azul.”

“I already shared a lot earlier,” Jade says defensively.

“Heyyy, be fair at least. I know you have your own thing.”

“What else is there to say? You already said everything.”

“Liar. I know how you started reading your books more after meeting him.” 

“So? Those were lessons that we had to learn as well.”

“Uh huh sure. Then explain why you’ve only gotten better in everything you do after meeting Azul.”

Jade glares at him. 

Floyd grins in response. “Gotcha.”

A beat of silence, then Jade sighs. “If he makes you feel understood, then he makes me feel capable.”

“How so?”

“One reason.” He puts up one free hand, with one finger up. “He’s demanding.”

Floyd chuckles. “That’s an understatement.”

“You’re right.” Jade grins, teeth flashing. “He’s exigent. Making us run around the school to do 5 things at once, on top of schoolwork. Even before NRC, he was just like that. I assumed he was insane. Until now, I still think he’s insane.”

“You say that, but you don’t look like you’re complaining at all.”

“Because thanks to that, I wasn’t pretending to be good at something anymore.” His next smile is closed. Softer. “I went from barely comprehending a textbook and barely lifting a seashell with my magic to understanding contract language and unlocking my unique ability. He made me do things, and I planned to just make someone else do it and pretend it was me.” 

“Ohhh.” Floyd’s eyes widened with remembrance. “And then he caught you.”

“Yes.” Jade shakes his head at the thought. “And I was expecting him to laugh at me, but he didn’t. All he did was sigh and teach me. Magic, studies, law, something about the way he taught those things clicked something in me. And even the things that he didn’t teach but always talked about, like culinary and how people behave, I was able to absorb things and got better. Dare I say,” a smirk forms on his face, “I’m better than Azul in some things.”

“Like flight class.” Floyd grins.

“Like flight class,” Jade repeats smugly. 

And they stop talking. Jade turns his gaze to the distant horizon, looking at something farther than the blue of the sky. Meanwhile, Floyd glances back at the river. He understands that Jade is done talking personal. But it’s fine for him. He can almost hear the unspoken thoughts. Once Azul leaves, who’s going to be the pianist in their little band that makes their every day exciting? Once Azul leaves, who’s going to tell them that they can do it? 

Once Azul leaves, who’s going to understand them?

“So this is where you two are.”

Simultaneously, Floyd and Jade whip their heads around. Floyd swears his heart almost leapt to his chest when he saw those familiar blue eyes. 

One hand in his pocket, Azul stands on the threshold of the bridge. He and Jade fully turn around as he walks towards them until he’s directly in front of both of them. 

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets, like the conversation a while ago never happened. “How was teaching your next successor what he has to do?”

“Went well,” he answers. “His prior experiences already reassure me, but he’s also demonstrated that he knows what he’s doing. Currently, he and our other dorm mates are taking care of the supplies.”

“Weird that you’re not being so strict, considering how much you value your restaurant,” Floyd comments. “You’re not even gonna be there to make sure nothing’s going wrong?”

“I trust that things are going well with my new successor in charge. I’ve taught him very well enough,” Azul says. “But more importantly… I have matters to discuss with the both of you.”

He turns his head to look at Jade. “Jade, you’ve been out of focus lately. Just a while ago, when you were bringing the box of teacups to the lounge, you were so deep in thought, you didn’t look like you were aware of where you were going. And even during work hours, you haven’t been as sharp as you usually are. A few professors have commented on your slouched posture as well.”

Jade’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“And Floyd.” Azul turns to look at Floyd. “Professors have reported to me that you’ve either been asleep during lectures or interrupting class with an outburst. You’ve also been moodier than usual, and it shows in your cooking and your behavior. I’ve heard a few students rant about you in group projects.”

Floyd briefly remembers the group mate that approached him earlier. 

“So what are you getting at exactly, Azul,” Jade asks. “Even we have our off days as well.”

Azul casts him a pointed look. “Off days for two weeks straight.” 

He receives no quip in reply. 

He crosses his arms. “Jade, Floyd.” His neutral serious tone changes. It quivers slightly. He’s worried. “I know you two well enough that there’s something going on. Is there something that happened?”

Floyd looks away. Jade does as well.

Floyd hates the concern in his tone. It makes him want to break. It makes him want to be upfront about his feelings and how it’s been bothering him. 

But how can someone like him really tell someone like Azul that you’re afraid to lose him somehow? How can he retract all the times he said that their relationship is all transaction and no emotional connection? How do you even start bearing something so vulnerable? 

They must be the same questions that Jade is grappling with now. Jade, who’s usually good at worming his way out of any conversation, has nothing to say to leave this topic. 

Azul sighs, breaking the long silence. “Is this something that has to do with me?”

The twins stiffen. 

Floyd can feel Azul’s gaze towards him. 

A tense moment passes. 

“... I had a feeling.”

He finally looks at him but in confusion. Jade is also facing him with wide eyes. 

Azul exhales through his nose. “You don’t have to tell me anything about what you’re feeling right now. If at all.” He turns around, preparing to leave. His head is bowed down, not letting either twin see his expression. “But I just want to let you know, I’m always here if you need me. Not just for this, but for anything, even if in the future.”

Floyd’s breath hitches.

“Do you… really mean that?” Jade asks, almost meekly.

Azul looks at Jade in puzzlement. “Why wouldn’t I? You two have been with me for all these years, even in my weakest hours. It’s not like I’m going to leave you even after we graduate.”

“Really,” Floyd asks. “Even when you get really busy with university and we’re running our family business?”

“Well, I won’t deny that we will be busy,” he answers. “But I’m not letting go of you two just because of that. You know me too well, after all. And you’ve supported me all these years, it would be embarrassing to leave that unpaid.”

“You mean that?”

“Have I ever broken a promise? If you want, I can even put that on a contract and have you sign it.”

In one single breath, the binding sadness and worry that tightened Floyd’s chest leaves. 

Without thinking, he moves towards Azul and wraps his arms around his slim frame. He ignores the surprised gasp as he buries his face on his shoulder. His breathing feels lighter than it has ever been the past two weeks. 

He feels Jade joining in, hugging Azul from the other side and burying his face on the other shoulder. His breathing sounds even to any person, but to Floyd, he can hear a slight quiver, like Jade is trying to hold back tears. 

“Is… is this what it’s been all about, all this time,” Azul finally asks. His hands move to pat their heads, a motion that always comforted the twins. “You two are strange for worrying about this type of thing.” 

Despite his words, Floyd can hear the smile in Azul’s voice.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Concept:

“Oh Kunikida finds out Dazai was a Port Mafia member and thinks less of him for it.”

Booo! Boring! Uninspired and factually incorrect.

The worse kind of incorrect.

Give me Kunikida learning Dazai was not only a Port Mafia member but an executive at that. Have him slowly turns to face his partner eyes shining with barely concealed rage.

“So you mean to tell me…that you’ve been fully cable of being a competent employee this WHOLE TIME!”

And watch as the light slowly leaves Dazai’s eyes.

Because oh they have an alliance now and naturally Kunikida made it his mission to learn the inner workings of the Port Mafia.

So that he could better coordinate things between them. And oh oh he learned that there’s many things they have in common.

And in any case one isn’t given such highly ranked position so lightly.

Mori starts bringing up the old Demon Prodigy and Dazai’s trying to kill him with his mind as Kunikida inquires about what responsibilities that kind of role requires.

Chuuya (because oh no the I know your every move goes both ways and revenge is sweet) instantly perks up and is more than happy to regale Kunikida in what it means to be an executive.

And now Dazai’s trying to kill him with his mind too because nooo Kunikida was never supposed to know I am fully capable of doing my job.

Because that’s the real reason he kept it a secret for so long.

Granted Kunikida always knew he was capable but now he has proof.

And so he keeps guilt tripping him into doing his job because “oh I see the Port Mafia has earned your work ethic and respect and I have not, no no it’s fine I see I am below even them.”

Everyone else instantly gets in on it like wow Dazai that’s kinda fucked up and they’re guilt tripping him and it’s cruel and evil.

And possibly working.

“Im serious I can’t do this report. It’s just yet it’s sooo difficult you know so maybe someone else should do it 🥺?”

“But if I was Mori Ougai you’d have completed your reports, wouldn’t you?”

“…I’ll have it done by the end of the day…”

“Thought so.”

[mediumgayitalian]

"You can go first."

"Are you sure?"

Nico smiles. "Yes, Will. It'll be fine."

There is something unbelievably sweet about the hunch of Will's shoulders, the too-tight grip on the handle of the practice sword. He even stands differently, on the sand of the ampitheatre, unbalanced and unsure. He chews on his bottom lip and Nico wants nothing more than to drop everything and tug it from his teeth, soothe away the worry lines with the press of his tongue.

"I don't want to -- hurt you."

"You won't."

"I -- could!"

"I know you could." Nico steps closer, his own practice sword held loosely in his hand. "But you won't."

Will shifts his feet, looking at the shortened space between them and swallowing. A cloud passes over the sun and his eyes darken, fluttering blond eyelashes blinking away the sweat beading on his brow.

"Will," Nico says again. He closes the final foot of space between them, wrapping his free hand around Will's wrist. His pulse hammers through his palm. "You are going to swing, I am going to block. Nothing is going to happen. Right?"

Will breathes in, then breathes out. He repeats, closing his eyes. The buzz of his heartrate slows, ever so slightly.

"Trust me, Will."

"I trust you."

It is automatic and speedy. Nico's breath catches in his throat, and he pushes it back before Will's opening eyes can track it, can track his slack jaw and sharp breath.

"Good," he says hastily. He steps back, clearing his throat. "Okay, like we talked about. One foot forward. Drop your center of gravity, that's it. And then swing.”

Will follows his instructions quickly and determinedly, and, finally, when it comes time, swings — he grips the sword in two large hands, tendons rippling over the handle, and arcs the heavy thing cleanly over his head, broad shoulders sparkling in the midday sun.

Nico almost does get hit. He yelps and lunges away at the last second, heart racing.

“Oh my gods!” Will shouts, dropping his sword to the ground like it had burned him and rushing over. “Oh my gods, are you okay, did I slice you —”

Nico shifts slightly away, trying not to groan. For fuck’s sake.

“We’re done,” says Will, pressing light-hot, glowing palms on his shoulders, his back. Nico shivers. “You’re okay, thank the gods, but that was way too close —”

Nico is going to go back in time and kick his own ass. He needs to learn to focus, apparently; he’s not sure when exactly his brain liquified and melted out of his godsdamn ears but he has a feeling it was sometime around Sunshine Smile #1.

“This isn’t over,” Nico says weakly. His chest still flutters. All he can feel is the heat of Will’s skin, and he is overwhelmed by the gentle scent of lavender. “We’re gonna — uh, we’re gonna. Come back to this.” Will’s eyes are just — wow, this amphitheatre is hot. Nico clears his throat. That’s a lot of blue for one person to have, right? It’s not just him? “This isn’t over, Solace.”

“It sure as shit is,” says Will firmly. He kicks his practice sword in disgust, sliding his oh gods oh gods oh gods wide palm across Nico’s shoulders, hovering on his neck. “Lemme check you over, okay? Just for my own peace of mind.”

“Your lessons,” Nico tries.

Will waves a hand. “Bah. I appreciate the effort, Nico, but I’m hopeless. You’ll protect me, anyway.”

He is not hopeless. He is strong. He is strong and he is quick and he is observant, maybe more than anyone Nico has ever met. He is new in clumsy, sure, but that doesn’t mean he is not capable.

He opens his mouth to say so. But there is a look in Will’s eye. So he holds it, and smiles, and leans into his friend’s touch.

He will protect him.

Even if it’s from his own disbelief.

[alpaca-clouds]

Monotheism is not quite what you think it is

So, you have been told that in the Abrahamitic religions (meaing, Judaism, Christianity and Islam) there is only one God. The big one. Adonai, YHWH, Elohim, or Allah. The one big guy. Chances are, that if you are one of those people sent to a religious school or dragged to chuch, you even have been told it there. Heck, you might have learned the Ten Commandments - a version of which exists in each of the scriptures - starting out with "there is no other God but Me" (meaning the one guy).

What would you do, if I told you, that this is actually a mistranslation and that in fact the old versions of the texts do reference a variety of other gods not as demons or devils, but as just as real as the one guy?

A couple of weeks back I talked a bit about the background of Lucifer, how in the Hebrew version of the text this character was not called Lucifer but Halel. And Halel is not an angel or anything, but he is another god in the pantheon that Elohim was from. A god associated with beauty. And back when the Syrian myths were still a thing, the story went: "Halel thought he should lead the pantheon because he was more beautiful than all the other gods and for this was punished to spend some time mortal wandering the earth." While most of this myth did not survive, for some reason some parts did, with Halel not really getting explained. But yeah, he wants to overthrow Elohim and gets banished. And because the European audience for whom it was then later translated into Latin would now know Halel, the translator put in Lucifer, who like Halel was a male god associated with beauty and the morning star (aka Venus).

But this is not the only god that gets outright referenced in the text. Several others do, mostly from the Canaanite and Syrian pantheon - as those are where YHWH ended up for a long time. Some Egyptian deities also get mentioned. And no, none of them are said to be demons or devils or anything like that.

The core of this is the translation of that one sentence in the Ten Commandments. It gets usually translated as "There is no God but me", or "You shall not have another God but me". But what it more clearly says originally is: "You shall not pray to another God but me". And there is the thing. The "you" is not a "you" of "anyone", but actually means a very specific people. And for this, we need to once more go back to the origin of YHWH.

Now, mind you, given that we are talking about stuff that is about 4000 years in the past, so the sources are not capable of filling up all the questions. But we have a somewhat good idea.

See, something that in todays discussions about anti-semitism gets kinda overlooked is, that the Semites were not just the Jewish people, but a whole culture of people living in the east of the Mediterranean, which includes Akkadia, Phoenicia and Ancient Syria. Those were an "advanced civilization" too, but one that rarely gets talked about as much as Greece, Rome and Egypt - despite later Roman history being heavily connected to it and sharing several deities.

Not to put on my conspiracy hat, but I am rather convinced that part of the reason we talk little about it, is, that if everyone knew about this mythology, people would look at the Bible and go: "Oooooooh!" Because while we can absolutely see those similarities with other mythology as well, because of the common background, if you compare the old Testament to Akkadian, Phoenician, and Persian myths, there is a lot more commonality there.

But yeah, these cultures had also a lot of cultural exchange going on with both Egypt and Greece at this time - 4000 years ago. Which at the time with everyone being very polytheistic meant that alos a lot of gods god exchanged. Basically like if you are doing a trading card game. "Oh wow, you have a really cool harvest deity." - "Trade you for your fire deity." - "You got a deal!" And while we are not 100% sure, we are fairly certain that in all that a harvest and/or weather deity named YHWH got taken over by those semitic people doing their own desert civilization. Some of them had like actual cities, some were more normadic.

Either way, YHWH was taken into that pantheon and for some reason he at some point got fused with Ba'al, a war deity, who also had weather aspects. And this fused deity at some point for one tribe then also fused with Elohim, the highest of the gods. A good old typical Sky Daddy.

And then there was this one mainly normadic tribe, who at some point were like: "Yeah, actually, we do no longer care about the other gods. It is all Sky Daddy YHWH-Ba'al-Elohim for us now!" However, they did not deny the reality of the other gods, it was just that this tribe decided to exclusively pray to this one deitiy, because in their understanding, this deity had promised to protect them and what not.

Yes, this one tribe were the Israelites.

And that brings us back to "You should not worship any god but me". Because that "you" was meant for them only. The Israelites. And if you real the whole scripture - at least the Hebrew one - there is absolutely no doubt about this. Heck, even later in the Greek stuff (so Jesus-related lore) we are very clear on that. This was not a religion for anyone. This was a religion for the Israelites, and nobody else.

Jesus at one point explicitly says: "I have not come to deliver anyone BUT the Jews".

Now mind you, technically this is mainly an issue with the scripture in Judaism and Christianity. Because they mainly kept the translated versions of the old Hebrew texts, even though a lot of people who read them lack the historical context of who wrote these texts and when and why. But the fact that Jesus is very clear on who he is there for does remain.

Islam does not have this issue as much, as the Qur'an did not just take the Hebrew stuff, but basically retold all the stuff in a very shortened version. Which for the most part also keeps out the references to all the other deities - and does not involve anyone going: "This religion is for this specific group only."

To me these days it is really weird, that most of the times when I am talking to Christian religious people, they are not engaging with those parts of the bible however. Usually, if you note those parts, they will outright deny them.

Personally, given how much violence was committed in the name of the one guy who was so very much against violence, I find it almost sad that this violence was then committed by people who that one guy explicitly said he had not come for.

And the entire rivalry between religions... Back in the day, people just accepted that all the gods were real to some degree and let other people pick their favorite god in peace.

Oh, and before I forget, because a lot of Zionists get super angry about this one: Actually, Arabs are Semites too. So if we want to be really technical abotu words, anti-muslim sentiment (which tends to be just a cover for anti-arab sentiment either way) is actually anti-semitic, too. Because, yes, the term anti-semitism came from a time where it included all those semitic groups, and not just the Israelites.

[crk-kr-to-en]

Now that I've added the En transcript for the last post

Kr/En Comparison time!

Happiness is so difficult. Even though it's very close, we often miss it without realizing it.

What is Happiness…?

Happiness is like a butterfly, I try to catch it but it escapes from my hand.

The meanings are so different and lost. Damn.

A cookie with such an empty heart, even though countless other cookies' hearts are pointed at it~! But don't worry~ Your empty heart can be filled with love too!

Countless Cookies love and care for you, and yet… your heart is void and empty!

But don't worry, heh! Even a heart like yours is capable of finding love!

Kr line is cute because the character sticks to his cupid arrow theme.

Hollyberry keeps on running away from reality. Why are you making her find love?

"Filled with love" could mean to try and over flow it... Hmm.

Welcome to our Sugar Paradise. I am the one who cultivates this paradise that spreads happiness.

Welcome, welcome to the Garden of Delights!

I am the Bringer of Happiness to this paradise of Joy~

Paradise is more fitting name for a place "opposite of reality", but "Garden of Delights" also reference "Garden of Eden".

I think that Eternal Sugar's (uncorrupted) title in Korean is "Cultivator of Happiness". It's not exactly mentioned yet so we'll have to learn more from the Korean story version as soon as it's release.

It's been a long time since I've received such kind and considerate treatment… Thanks to this, the dough powder doesn't fall off anymore…

Wow… They're tending to us with so much love and care…

Ahh, I feel so much better…!

Straight up disappointing.

Forget about the complicated things that keep you from filling your mind while you are here. How about thinking only of you? Just me… Only you.

Please try to forget your worries and troubles, and for the first time in a long time, allow yourself a moment to rest. Just for you alone~

Just for me…?

Just for you.

"Only you" is more homoerotic than "Just for you"

Kr Suga isn't even telling her to try. Straight up forget everything girl!

"While you are here" and then the next lines are a warning about how they'd never leave.

"Hearken you who have stepped foot on this land, do not look back and get out of this land Before the devil comes in the sweetest form." What does the sweetest look mean?

"O trespasser, heed these words. Turn back at once, and go no further."

"Before the demon arrives, cloaked in its sweetest guise."

"…It's sweetest guise" …What could that possibly mean?

Not so different in context, but Korean is more simple.

[whispersbetweenchapters]

Never in my life did I think I would be defending the Prim Reaper. But here we are. I cannot believe all the mischaracterisation of his I'm seeing, and some of the hate. Yes, he can be disliked, I don't really like this mf, but people calling him as bad as snow is WRONG. Ahem. Right. ONE. Let's take a moment to remember that Gale was also a child, who was also learning it live. I'm not disputing that some of his actions were wrong, but you gotta be realistic, he was a dumb teenage boy. Yes, he needed lessons on empathy and compassion, but he was learning, in possibly the worst environment (which, wow, surprised that it didn't do too well).

TWO. Um, why the hell are we calling him a toxic trad husband? He is not. Trad husbands want their partner to be inferior while they shine and boast. Gale was never insecure that Katniss was a better hunter than him or a better shot, her fell in love with her for it, for how capable she was.

THREE. The statement that 'Gale would kill Katniss in the Games', uh personally, no. I do not think that Gale would kill Katniss in the games, because just like Peeta, he was also in love with her. I think that they would team up together, until the 'endish' before splitting up, hoping they wouldn't have to kill one another. I don't think Katniss would want to kill him either. AND if it came down to the two of them, I think Gale would sacrifice himself. He would make Katniss promise to look after his family before killing himself, so Katniss wouldn't have to do it. And if it were the other way around, he would make sure Katniss's family was well looked after. I'm just so over people making him out to be such a 'bad guy' when he is just a traumatised child.

FOUR. Everyone respects Beetee for blowing up people, but Gale is the worst person alive for it? Yeah, sure, Beetee went through hell, yes, it was probably more than Gale. But that cannot be the REASONING ON WHY GALE WAS BAD FOR IT. Just because his trauma was 'less' does not mean Beetee is any better. It's double standards. If we're being real here, Beetee is a mature adult, and Gale is a deranged, not fully formed teenager boy who has just been through the most traumatic events in his life. Beetee has already been living with his for years. Gale just watched his home, friends, and life be destroyed. Why would he care about anyone on the 'enemy' side at this point? His rage was not just from that, by from losing his father, from being oppressed, from watching so many children die in those games (hmm sounds familiar? Just like Beetee). Realistically, MANY people would do the same thing, make the other side suffer just as they have made you suffer. Not everyone is compassionate and sweet like Peeta, and that isn't 'wrong' or 'bad but you can't hold expectations to a child like that. Gale had every right to react the way he did. AND BEETEE IS NO BETTER. He knew what he was doing, don't cover his ass for it but hate Gale at the same time. Gale provided the idea, and Beetee made it. At ANY moment, he could have gone, hmm, nah, this is too much. But he did not, because he was just like Gale and wanted that revenge.

FIVE. Gale was also groomed by Coin, just as Snow was by Dr Gaul. Coin used his anger, his pain, for her benefit. Because, as we tend to forget, Gale was still just. A. Child. He was never told the bombs would be used against his own people; he was told they would be used against the Capitol, the people whom he was targeting. He was literally on the front lines. Did he want to blow himself up? No. Now, let me propose a question. Did Beetee know? Because someone had to operate that bombs, someone who knew how they worked, someone who wasn't on the front lines. It's an interesting thought, and maybe that's why Beetee says no to the Capitol children's hunger games because he already killed half of them with the bombs.

Now, just to clarify to am not on 'team gale',  I hate Gale for the way he lacked an understanding for Katniss when she returned from the games. For how he saw everyone as a competition and in love with Katniss, but as I said before, not everyone is great and compassionate, and that's okay because everyone is DIFFERENT. I just believe it's become a 'fad' to hate on him now for stupid things. You don’t have to like Gale. I don’t, he's annoying and a teenage boy brat. But hating HARD on him without context is lazy — and y’all are smarter than that.

[fervent-adoration]

Okay so 👏👏 F/O INTRODUCTION PACKAGE YEAAAAH

Gestures. Some Krueger selfship art.

And here we go!! More to learn below the cut.

My ship template filled out here...

So random fun facts:

He was my favorite character when I was younger to the degree that my family and friends knew him as "Krue's guy". Like. If you wanted to buy me something? An easy bet was to buy something Future Trunks based, and I'd fuck with it heavy.

One of IRLs that I've known forever... we bonded over DB and he drew me Trunks a good few times GDGDGDGSGS. Y'all that really was the "guy ever" for me back then...

Uhh he's not on my official f/o list because I've always felt sorta odd about it. Like. Does he really belong there? Plenty of people probably have him, he's popular. People like him quite a lot. But, I've shrugged that off in favor of embracing that at the very least, I love him and should tell everyone that regardless of his popularity 🧍‍♂️

DB is one of my HUGE GINORMOUS fixations. Since I was like 6. So I am passionate about everything to do with this stuff sighs

Uhh but yeah! I genuinely love this guy a lot. He's so, SO sweet. Yet super capable! And. Sorta shy?? Fuck he's cute. Head in hands. He'd take me OUT emotionally dude. His polite demeanor and determined general behavior... He's goal focused. Feels passionately and cares so deeply. He's always trying his best and he wants to do well for the people he loves and cares for.

We could heal together, him and I. He's been with me through the roughest points in my life, and I think he'd be proud of my growth. In my selfship lore, we just?? Sorta age together. In DBZ we (the audience) see him at like 17 and the last time he pops up is when he's in like. His 30s. So I can easily slip myself into the timeline PROPERLY. weow. So cool :)

Sighs. Wow I love him. He sorta fills me with a gentle warmth. Contentment. I want to share all the kind things in life with him, and I want to be there for him when he's struggling and needs a place to be grounded. Also. Bite him a little bit. Yknow as a treat /hj

Anyway. Gestures. That's it. That's the current ramble. THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

[cultkinkcoven]

One of the big breakthroughs that both Lord Lucifer and Lord Hermes have really helped me understand is the idea of sensing energy in objects.

So often we talk about sensing and observing energy, but to beginners, our vague descriptions can be confusing or miss the point entirely.

When we talk about sensing energy in objects, people, crystals for example, remember that we’re not searching for some hypothetical mystical thing that “only REAL witches can see”. Every single person is capable of observing energy.

Lord Lucifer really helped me understand that energy is not just this mystical imaginary thing that we’re trying to tap into. You are very used to observing energy, you are already a pro at it.

Light, sound, touch, texture, solidity, surface tension, color, yes, all of these things are also energy, information. So many times I have seen practitioners in crystal shops waving their hands around the rocks, feeling them in their hands, staring into them deeply, even putting them to their ears, and I always thought “WHAT is it that they are sensing that I am not sensing?”

It wasn’t until I found myself in a crystal shop waving my hands above the crystals to feel which ones felt like they were radiating heat that it clicked for me. When Lord Hermes tells me to feel the crystal in my hand, he’s being very literal. When he asks me why this crystal is reflective, he is asking me why light interacts with this object the way it does. What does this tell me about the structure of this object? This feedback that my body is telling me is not just mundane, it is inherently telling me vital information about the object and it’s composition. These are universal truths.

Why do I see pink inside the quartz structure of a rose quartz? Why does angel aura reflect rainbows the way it does, why is obsidian shiny and onyx matte? Why is Sapphire a different shade than Opal and why is Opal different than Opallite? What makes all of these things different than lavender and water? Why are these things different from fire and sand?

What you are seeing in the mundane is not just an object. You are seeing a reflection of its attributes, quite literally. You are also hearing, feeling, even tasting these things as well. Sensing energy, feeling the vibration of a crystal, is not this talent that some people just have. You have it too, you just have to learn how to make sense of the information you’re already receiving. Those witches that seem so experienced aren’t waving their hands around the crystals because it looks aesthetically pleasing. They are actively trying to understand the structure of the object and how that relates to its energy.

Good magic takes root from good observation. I can feel that my friend is troubled, perhaps because of the vibes their ethereal aura is emitting, sure. But also because their quietness can be observed across multiple spectrums, through their appearance, through the rhythm of their breathing. My subconscious brain understands all of the billion subtle cues a body can produce before I can. I trust it.

When I approach my friend and say “hey, your hair actually looks great” and they go “wow! really? How did you know I was nervous about that?” , I might reply saying that I sensed it. What I actually mean is that I saw it, I heard it, I felt it on my skin, all at the same time. And before I even understood all of these things individually, I knew that her vibe was somewhat off. I don’t need mystical powers to understand that. Everything from the sweat on your brow to the sound of your voice is an energy and vibration. The way your hair falls tells me how damp your scalp is. The way your face looks indicates to me how you tongue is sitting in your mouth. All of these things I can sense, not through super powers, but through the basic information that is also available to you.

My friends constantly tease me and say that I can “read minds” because I constantly finish people’s sentences or know what they want to tell me before they can even form the words.

“how did you even know to ask me that?”

“woah wait I haven’t even told you that yet”

Im a terrible person to buy gifts for because I know what everyone is going to get me before they can buy it. Am I a mind reader? Do I have superpowers? Probably not. I have simply gotten so used to interpreting subconscious information that I’m just a little bit quicker than usual. I see someone’s gaze shift, I see their forehead wrinkle which implies that they are about to speak. I see their arm subtly move in a direction, I see in their eyes that they want something. We’re standing in the hallway. Yes I can close the door, no problem. How did I know you were gonna ask me that? For the same reason I know that amethyst heals. Energy reveals itself through context.

edit: Lucifer gets real quantum with this idea. There’s a concept that dark matter- which is matter that does not interact with light- still affects matter, and therefore what cannot be seen can still be revealed in what can be seen. Coming to intuitive insights means access the ability to see what is hidden, to have prophecies and all that jazz. These effects are subtle, so you have to focus, but they can be seen.

Obsidian is not just protection because it has some innate fantasy quality that is only found in obsidian. Your brain understands black obsidian as black and sharp for a reason. That translates both literally and symbolically.

You’re reading right now, right? You see squiggles on a screen and yet you completely understand these concepts I’m presenting. A whole message has been communicated to you through nothing more than lines and squiggles. This form of transferring information is not limited to words. This thing that you’re doing right now occurs every single time you observe anything. A whole message, understanding and idea is communicated through the texture of Labradorite in the same way that it is in this post.

The next time you try to feel a vibe or energy, don’t just try to feel with your soul. That is a super important step, yes, but also make sense of the information your brain is already great at interpreting. In fact, I’d argue that as soon as you stop thinking of magic as this fantasy thing that some people just have, your abilities will absolutely explode.

[bloodchapell]

castle of sand — senku i. 17: visage of time

brief summary: all the things in the dark that light brings out

what to expect: slight (barely noticeable) deviance from canon, failed attempt of a kiss 💀

your sword's note: THIS WAS SO CUTE TO WRITE KILL ME NOW, all past and future parts + playlist of this series available on my mistresslist

"Ominous feeling in the environment, can't operate." You sat by the doors of the hut, resting your arms on the edge and looking outside. Senku took the hammer from his pocket and smacked you very softly and methodically with it, repeatedly, as if he was actually doing something. 

"Elaborate?"

"I have no elaborations." You sighed dramatically. "It's this feeling, like a hunch, but is based on nothing."

"Well some purple minion arrived from Tsukasa, that's ominous enough." 

"This is not about Gen." You interrupted immediately. "I am aware of Gen's ambiguity but I get him like a cup of water, he is no danger for us, he will be on our side in due time. This feeling is uncalled for, hence." 

"Well sorry, I can't help." A shrug from Senku. 

The iron bar was ready, sitting idly in the hut. Senku had found Chrome's copper and had melted it into a wire, which wrapped around the iron, confusingly, seemingly pointless. The only thing needed was lighting, which seemed somewhat primitive and fanciful, so you were all waiting for a storm. Suika was sitting beside you, looking around the hut, she was singing children's songs which you had taught her, clapping around while doing nothing. Senku looked at her, following along in his mind the lyrics of the songs he had learned in kindergarten with you. 

"I am thinking of cutting my hair..." You mumbled taking the strands away from your face. 

"Why?" 

"It is too hot, it gets annoying." 

And so, Suika grabbed a sharp blade and sat behind you. Senku pretended to do something else, but observed closely. 

"All done!" Suika said, walking around you to see. 

"You look like a perfectly diagonally slashed pineapple from Fruit Ninja." Senku laughed at you, putting his hand in an angle. 

"You can always be a perfectly diagonally slashed pineapple." You smiled. "I don't care that much about my appearance, especially in this stone world, but do not insinuate that my haircut —which my child did— is bad."

"Wow, a death threat, how innovative." Senku rolled his eyes. "It is okay, if you ignore symmetry and conventions of our society, but indeed Suika did her best so it is actually not bad at all."

He grabbed your face, turning it around to examine it, shrugged and let it go, to go back to his chore.

"I am somewhat bored, this is the perfect afternoon for doing so many things that are actually nothing, maybe watch a long YouTube video, or karaoke, or changing up my hair only to realize I don't like it... there is not much entertainment in this world..."

"Right!?" Gen said from the stairs. "So what is the gossip in this world? Why were you the first revived?" He climbed into the house, you were still wary of him, but in a boring world he was welcomed.

"Thinking capability...?" You asked, looking back at Senku, he nodded. 

"I don't think there is anyone else that thinks as much as she does, aside from me, for sure. If the catalyst for reviving someone with sheer willpower and nitric acid is thinking, no one else came to mind. And it worked."

"That is so sweet!" Calculated but swift, Gen knew what he was saying. Senku looked at you, you looked at him, then both sets of eyes went to Gen, a grimace lacking emotion, judgmental even. 

"No." You punctuated and that was it. 

"Sooo, how did you two get to know each other?" Gen asked with a cat smile. 

"Why is this relevant?" You asked.

"I am bored too." Gen noted like it was a simple statement, but you could see the traces of evil behind his facial facade. 

"Piece of shit." Senku nodded with a bothered smile. "We have studied together since we started studying, lived in the same apartment complex, what else...? That is about it." 

"And where does that lead us now?" Gen asked. 

"Full-time roommates, associates, archenemies even." Senku explained with detail, completely sure.

"Seems flawed." Gen said thinking. "What about this unnamed thing?"

"I'll kindly ask you to quit." You mumbled. Gen and Suika looked at each other, Suika shrugged. 

Senku avoided thinking about it, at least in that moment when he was inventorying Chrome's rocks; he had thought about it, enough, and he would think about it too once night fell, there was no point in losing neurons over the same concepts: familiarity, survival, attraction, instinct. He did not want to admit that he was also plagued, just as plagued as Chrome, as Gen, probably as Suika who in her eternal wisdom held her silence about the topic, but he was. He was plagued when he would inevitably hold you tightly in his arms when sleeping, his face pressed against your chest or vice versa, when he would glance at you and just know that even if a deity came down from heaven and made you bald, he would still find you attractive, when he would wonder why you lacked ambition when it came to romance, that was a big one. 

Factually, Senku had spent his time before conciliating sleep the last nights wondering about it; yes, he was against relationships and he thought love was illogical despite being science, but it bothered him that you were not paying attention to it, he would have noticed if you were, he would have seen your eyes flutter away from his gaze if you were getting flustered with his presence, or he would have heard a very reconditioned ramble about your feelings as a metaphor, but he did not. From your side, nothing had changed since the acknowledgement, you held him as close as before, you treated him the same as before. He wondered, and wondered, and wondered, why you didn't care for reciprocation? Or why you were fine with things being like they were? He wanted to know, but he did not want to ask. 

A loud thud from the sky. 

The villagers were talking about hiding from the wrath of the heavens, you laughed, after all lighting could kill and they were simple minded people. There was something comforting about thunderstorms. For some reason your mind wandered away as you all walked towards a mountain as per Chrome's guidance to catch some lighting. It had been a year before petrification, when Senku still hated you —allegedly not—, despite that he still crashed at your place to use your telescope, it was 3am or so, and you were watching a meteor shower together, he rambled about Leonids and you rambled about the feeling of the sky falling upon you, and then the clouds obstructed the lens and the sky roared in thunders; your words diverted to talking about the storm, and oddly, probably because of the sleep deprivation, Senku stayed quiet and listened to you. 

When you came back to reality, the rain had ceased and you were at the top of the mountain, with newly acquired strong magnets. The walk back to the village was full of chatter, Senku explaining to Chrome what to do next, Ginro mocking Kinro for the loss of his gold spear, Kohaku threatening Gen, it felt nice, but in that moment you missed the simplicity of modern life, at least from that Leonids thunderstorm.

"Still like thunders as much as ever?" Senku elbowed you softly to get your attention, it took you a second to process, but you nodded. "Tell you after?" 

"M'kay." 

He wanted to talk, chat about something stupid only you could understand, probably something modern, maybe Gen could understand too but he was still in a gray trust area, but he was busy. 

Melting more copper for the discs took some extra exploitation that thankfully Gen and Gan'en took care of. Making the generator was oddly simple, Chrome flattened the copper with corundum, Kohaku and Suika polished the edges and you covered the wire with lacquer. 

"Aren't you allergic to lacquer?" You asked, holding Senku's face. "You are going to die... and with that utterly ridiculous appearance after all! Years of farming charm, for nothing!" 

"I won't die, my farmed charm will remain in my inventory."

The generator was probably one of the easiest projects completed, forgetting the hellish iron baking and the life-endangering lighting chasing, but alas, it was done. Gen tricked Ginro and Kinro into powering the generator by insinuating that electricity could make gold and silver spears. So while they practiced, Senku and Chrome ran off to make something off bamboo while Suika, Gen and you cooked the lunch that Kohaku brought. Lunch was boring and you took a nap with Suika on the floor for an hour or so. 

The big reveal happened when it got dark. Chrome and Senku climbed to the top of the hut. You stood watching beside Gen and Kohaku, with Suika in your arms so she could see better how the light turned on once the bamboo filament entered in contact with the wires. It was a dim light that barely illuminated the thickness of the dark, it was nothing compared to neon or led lights from the city that would blind everyone, but it was so bright, it was like a star of its own realm, a star you all had built from nothing, a star to defeat the horrors of darkness, a spectacle of the world you used to know. It engulfed everyone's attention, rightfully so, even Kinro and Ginro looked at it in awe as they kept spinning the generator, and for a while everyone was silent, admiring it. Senku looked back at you, a grin of pride in his face, of accomplishment, one you reciprocated back with watery eyes; his eyes then darted to Gen, like telling you to look at him, and you did, the mentalist in complete shock, or fascination, or both. 

Everyone diverted to their own minds after that. Chrome entered the hut, Kinro and Ginro rested, Suika jumped to talk to Kohaku about it, Gen sat by a tree. Senku stayed on top of the hut, and you sat by his side. 

"That was dazzling." 

"I thought of the Leonids thunderstorm earlier." Senku said it straightforwardly. 

"Well, a rather interesting coincidence, me too. Nice memory, right?" You smiled at each other, and the silence sat with you for a while. "The light."

"What about it?"

"It's like a visage of time. Sometimes I feel like it is impossible to truly bring back civilization... not saying at all that I doubt you, but it seems so complicated in my mind. In the old world, advancements were made from things that already existed, and progress was a gradual process; we are working with nothing... it feels like it is impossible to bring back everything despite the science being there... and of course, it would not be the same, Heraclitus said it."

"The old man did, 'No man steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he is not the same man.' You are right... scientifically speaking at least, the only constant in this universe is change." 

"Well, look at you." You smiled at him. "Quoting an old master." 

"Don't get it twisted." His grin held a softness unusual to it. Your eyes followed his face, dimly with the light of the stars and the bonfire. 

"I'm proud of you." You cheered. "Not for quoting Heraclitus —well maybe a little—, but for everything; we all contributed to this, but without you it would have been a lost cause from the beginning."

"I don't care for gratification."

"Don't get it twisted, I am not thanking you for anything." Your clarification bothered him, you were right after all. "You don't need to act all cool and heartless with me, accept my words or perish, I know you have a heart buried somewhere between those science facts and witty remarks."

"Excuse me?" He asked baffled. "Unlike some others, I prefer to stay smart." 

"I think I am my own way of smart." You shrugged, pushing him sideways with your shoulder. "I am not neglecting my emotions in prowess of being cool."

"Oh you are not? Then what is up with us?"

"Refer to 'in prowess of being cool' now." You giggled. 

"Then in prowess of what?"

"Never imagined you wondered about it." A shrug from you, the night breeze blew on your asymmetrical hair. "I am fine with this. I think I have good levels of self control. I don't need anything."

"Where is your ambition?" Senku shook you, without much force.

"I don't think I have something like what people call a crush, I don't need to go on a date or hold your hand, I simply love you, it's simplistic. Regardless, it is not like you care, so...?"

After making sure to look around a few times and see that everyone was focused on their own matters, Senku nodded, but evil Senku did not stay satisfied so he pressed his hand on top of yours and leaned in close to your face.

"My! What a lovely—" Before Gen could complete his purr of nonsense, you moved away from Senku so harshly that you lost balance and inevitably rolled down from the top of the hut, falling ungraciously to the ground. 

"I'll assume that the person who fell from the slide with about the same height as a kid when we were in pre-k is fine and alive..." Senku mumbled as if his heart was not about to go out of his chest, not only because you fell but because his double-triple checking missed Gen. 

"...Alive." You mumbled too. Suika and Kohaku ran to check on you, Kohaku lifting you from the ground and sitting you up very softly. "I always thought I had dreamt falling from the slide... turns out it was real... it doesn't compare to this unraveling, but it is unassociated with the fall itself."

"Ah! I see, I know why, dear." Gen smiled, a little concerned though. 

"Gen, come here." You signaled and he knelt down, so you whispered something only audible for him to his ear and he stood up and ran to hide behind Chrome. 

"Witness aggression program, I love coercion into silence." Senku praised as he sat by your side, checking you better than his double-triple checking of the area. "Well the fun is over Kingdom, reunion now in the headquarters... Gen stays out like the family dog during a stormy night for being an asshole."

"No fair." Gen pouted.

"Sorry, animal rights have not yet been invented." Senku shrugged and walked to the hut, holding your hand. "It's for stability goddamnit, my patient here is idiotic and fragile." Senku pointed at you. 

"God dam mint." Suika repeated after Senku. 

For maybe 20 minutes, Senku talked about Gen's ambiguous moral standing to Kohaku, Chrome and Suika, while you rested defeated, too done with everything to participate and honestly drifting into sleep. You closed your eyes and heard Chrome trying to convince Gen to join because science was bad, Gen denying, Kohaku intervening, another explanation on morals that Senku butchered and you could have done better... that until Kohaku heard a noise and everyone rushed outside. 

"What happened..." At the edge of the entrance of the hut you asked. 

"Our family dog was mugged and is now dead." Senku summarized. 

"Oh." 

"Never fucking mind he is alive, we don't have to worry about explaining to Suika that not all dogs go to heaven after all." Senku sighed, logically happy that Gen wasn't dead. 

"Oh, good."

Kohaku brought Gen to the hut, and after laying him down, you saw how beaten he was. Senku prepared some herbs and placed them around his wounds and that was about it. Since Gen was too weak to give his testimony, Suika decided to go to the village to investigate, you told her to be careful and so the night ended. 

Kohaku and Chrome stayed over, just to check up on Gen, eventually you fell asleep but you felt Kohaku lying down beside you, so you instinctively hugged her. And as petty as Senku was, he laid down in the other side and pressed his back against yours very firmly just to remind you that he was there and he felt betrayed. 

Suika came back in the morning, and you all stood up at different times as if it had been a slumber party. 

"Magma...!" Suika said fidgety. 

Kohaku explained what had happened at their generational event and how she beat Magma to marry Ruri, and Suika pointed out how Gen had mislead Magma during the magnet's thunderstorm and he probably believed that Gen was the "sorcerer" that had arrived to the village. 

The day was slow, Kohaku trained with Ginro and Kinro, who agreed to join the kingdom, Chrome and Senku discussed who-knows-what and you brushed Suika's hair and talked to her about different things you considered she should know, like a basic lesson on language like the abc and showing her how to write her name. 

At night, everyone went to their huts, you walked Suika and Kohaku to the bridge and said the usual goodnights to them, then walked back to the hut. Senku was preparing some more ointments and Gen whispered something, so he leaned in to listen.

"Pfttt, fujoshis would have eat that up back in my time." You giggled pointing at them. 

"Shut up." Senku was quick to bark, but then signaled you to come closer and whispered to you. "We have a deal, all over cola."

"Ew." 

"I mean, whatever tickles his tickles." Senku shrugged and you laughed at his appropriation of your mannerisms. "Next thing we are making is glass."

"For the bottle, of course!" You said and Senku looked at you with a questioning face. "...And science-y stuff."

"Suika can't see very good, right?" Out of nowhere, Senku asked. You nodded, bothered by the fact that the small problem hindered her self worth so much. "First thing we are making is glasses for her." 

"Senku..." Moved to almost tears you said with tenderness.

"N-No don't even try it!" He said immediately. "It's for efficiency, if we level her up she will do a better job." 

His lame attempt for excuse did not permeate far and you knew the truth, so you thanked him, but at his refusal and denial of caring you launched yourself to hug him, imprisoning in your arms both as a joke and as a genuine act. 

taglist: @thelonestarinthesky, @bookworm-center, @iheartpieck

[milevenstancyendgame]

Eleven And Ableism

So I've been seeing recurring awful ableist views on El, all the way from old s1 posts to recent post-s4/s5-anticipating posts, and I won't have it.

People talking about El as though she was stupid. Because she barely spoke in s1, and in the following seasons still speaks like a child sometimes. Because she didn't learn a whole lot of things that children usually learn in our society, because she's lacking social knowledge.

This hurts me in a very personal way, because I have complex trauma too, with similar adaptations as El, and I've experienced the same discrimination, and still am experiencing it profoundly by the ableist welfare/medical system.

El doesn't talk much in s1, because she's traumatised, both in general, and freshly re-traumatised after being forced into the tank, encountering the demogorgon, opening the gate, fleeing the lab, seeing the first kind person to help her getting murdered, and then being bombarded with a ton of questions and unknown terms by a group of boys, the majority of whom don't seem very friendly towards her at first, but react to her like something abnormal/disgusting (wow, that's a lot) .

And she obviously was horribly abused during her whole childhood; objectified as a weapon and taught to not take up any space. She was just told what to do all the time. To only speak when spoken to.

She finds herself in a completely new environment full of strangers. Can you even imagine her level of fear, as a child who never was given any emotional safety, going outside for the first time and encountering strangers for the first time?

Of course, she doesn't talk much! Her whole life experience was a nightmare, why would she act like other kids?

Also, she has developmental arrest, meaning that due to the extremely unsafe surroundings she was born into, her brain couldn't develop as much and in the same way as that of other children, making her developmentally and emotionally younger than her physical age.

The crucial thing about human beings is that we need love to grow and thrive. Emotional connection creates new neural pathways in our brain. Learning is a social thing.

That is why she sometimes talks or behaves like an infant. Parts of her personality/brain are literally still that young.

Humans (and other animals) also do this thing called dissociation. It's a survival mechanism that makes you disconnect from your sensations and emotions (going internally numb).

Children who are repeatedly traumatised in infancy, rely heavily on dissociation, because a baby/toddler can't fight or run away.

A dissociative trauma response will paralyse (freeze) you or make you go limp (collapse). It also shuts down the verbal part of your brain (and other cognitive parts).

We see El going into freeze a lot in s1 when she's scared, but since it's fiction, it never lasts long, because there's no time.

And since El has been raised to be a weapon and therefore forced to fight, she taps into this trauma response frequently too.

All of this trauma-info-dump, just to give you a tiny glimpse of how incredibly intelligent El/her body/her brain is.

She went through all of this torture since she was a baby, no one loved her, and yet she survived, and yet she is still a whole person, a unique individual, a child who despite everything, is still capable of forming attachments and her capacity for love fully intact.

But people see a quiet/mute child, or a non-responsive child, and assume they are "stupid". I think it's pretty obvious who is the stupid one in this equation.

[kgirlgroup-stan]

Trying Pt.1

angst/fluff, g!p reader

Y/N pov

Its funny how everything has changed. I have always been alone. It was always me, myself and I. But what's so different now? Everything. 

I'm an idol now. Honestly, i didn't think i'd make it. The only reason i decided to do so was to keep myself busy. But now here i am, debuting with a group of girls under the name of Le Sserafim.

With me being alone for so long, it has made me a bit reserved, cold, untrusting, and it's been somewhat of a struggle with now being surrounded by these girls.

They do what they can to get me involved or just try to get along with me. I know they dont mean any harm and for the most part i reciprocate what i can but they know my boundaries, and they respect them.

All expect....

"Y/N!!!", I was sat on the couch lost in thought when it was interrupted but they yell. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back with a soft sigh leaving my lips. "what is it Eunchae?"

"whatcha doin" i heard her steps come closer and bounced right on to the empty seat next to me

 I opened my eyes and looked at her in a bored expression. I scooted a bit away from her since she was a bit to close to my liking. "nothing just here. thinking."

"About what?" she moved closer to me again. 

"nothing" i got up and went to my room. I didnt mean to be rude, i just didnt want people getting close to me, or me get close to them.

One of the main reason is because i was different. I hated that I was. I was a girl with a penis, and once people find that about everything changes. Growing up wasnt at all easy so why would i think now that im an adult it would be.

I dont want to get to close to the girls because if i do and they end up finding out my secret, i know my heart wont be able to take it and i dont want all those feeling and bonds to go away.

Maybe its selfish but i'm just trying to protect myself.

I still show my appreciation to the girls in anyway i can. I help Kazuha study Korean, Yunjin loves to make me learn English, I play video games with Sakura, I help relieve stress off of Chaewon by picking up after the girls if they dont listen to her, and well Eunchae.....

Eunchae stresses me out. I do try to put up with her sometimes and do things for her but she always tries to get close to me in every possible way. 

After collecting myself in my room for a couple of seconds, i decided to make some food for the members. Eunchae often times calls me heartless, i dont think i am. I just have a very hard time expressing my feelings out loud but i try to show i care through actions.

I was again lost in thought and moving mindfull but still somehow preparing the food. I didnt notice Eunchae pull up a chair in front of me and was just watching me.

I started cutting an onion and my eyes started to burn, making a small single tear slid down my cheek.

"wow it takes an onion to make you cry. didn't know you were capable of that" she giggled with a teasing smirk on her face. 

"ha ha" i rolled my eyes, sarcastically. I turned around to put the onion in the pan and moved around the kitchen to finish the meal.

Noticing that i was finishing, Eunchae got up to call the girls to come and eat. I placed the food down, once they sat i served them and gave them their plates. thank you's and compliments on the food left their mouths as they started eating.

I went back to the kitchen and drank a cup a water while leaning against the counter. Chaewon came to me and noticed my energy. 

"everything okay?" she looked at me with concerned eyes while stopping in front of me.

" yeah, i just need to clear my head for a bit. Enjoy the food, imma go out for a walk." i gave her a tight light smile.

"okay, well be careful, come home safe, dont be out to late the suns already setting." she gave me a small pity smile in return then leaned in and peaked my cheek and went back to the table.

I grabbed a hoodie, mask, a hat and left the door. Walking where-ever the wind took me.

Eunchae Pov

My jaw tensed but when i saw y/n leave after Chaewon kissed her cheek.

"what was that about?" i looked down and began to play with my food once Chaewon sat down with us.

"dont worry, im not taking y/n away from you." she mockingly pouted at me and poked my cheek.

It was no secret that i had a crush on y/n. But it was a challenge to get to really know her when she pulls away even more. 

I pouted even more. "not like she would pick you anyways." i mumbled before clearing my throat, "where did she go though?" 

"Okay, rude. She just went to clear here mind for a bit." she went back to eating her food.

I hummed in response before hesitating on what i wanted to do next. I took a fork-full of food and stood up. "im going to go find her." i grabbed my stuff and went out, ignoring Chaewons screams.

**Time-Skip**

I roamed around thinking where she could have gone. Right when i was going to give up i remembered a certain place.

I made my way there and sure enough, she was there. This was the very same park that not much people knew about, it's the same place where she took us after a very harsh training day. The perfect place to relax, breath and clear your mind.

Smiling at the sight of her. I walked up to the bench she was sitting on and sat next to her. 

"why do you always follow me?" her voice was low, soft even. It made my heart start beating a bit faster.

"because i care." i looked at her. Her gaze was forward, starting at the open field of flower, watching the sun start to disappear.

"why care about someone who you call heartless?"it came out in a lower tone. when i called her heartless it was meant as a little jab. But now i wouldnt have said it at all if i would have know it affecting her in this way.

"y/n, i know your know heartless." she moved her gaze from the seneray in front of us to look only at me. "i just say things to make you smile, laugh or just get some type of reaction out of you. i just want you to feel like you can get close to me"

"well, your going to have a trouble time doing that." she looked down and picked at her fingers.

 i grabbed her hand and held it in mine. She looked at me and i couldnt help but lean in and let my lips touch her cheek. "Thats okay but i guess that means i'll just keep trying." i leaned my head against her shoulder, watching the sunset together.

[thehollowwriter]

I think we should talk more about the mysgony when it comes to parents in media, and how fathers are favoured and praised for the most the most basic shit while mothers are demonised for making mistakes or being bad. This is gonna be a long one, buckle up.

I hate Mrs Rosehearts as much as the next guy, but it's unfair that Mr Rosehearts is not given similar criticism for allowing his wife to treat Riddle the way he does. I hardly see people bring him up apart from mentioning that Riddle's parents probably have an unhappy marriage, and some people say something along the lines of "poor Mr Rosehearts, struggling with a wife like that".

Of course, we don't know enough about his character to gauge how Mrs Rosehearts treats him, bit it's clear he just passively stands to the side when it comes to whatever Mrs Rosehearts wants to do with Riddle. That itself is very harmful and it's own form of abuse, imo.

The same applies to Alador Blight from the Owl House. He's praised for being a wonderful dad that finally came through and stood up to his "horrible wretched bitch of a wife" (who, if she was a guy, would probably have more people analysing her and trying to find ways to sympathise with her just saying)..

And while, yes, he did stand up to her and that's a good thing, the general consensus is he was a brilliant dad from the start that was held back by his wife's wicked ways. But... that's not true? His first appearance is him telling Amity to stop being friends with Willow. He ignores his children constantly, and, like Mr Rosehearts, stands passively to the side when Odaliah treats her children like her property.

He's a neglectful parent at best and just as concerned with image and status at Odaliah at worst. But... that stuff is just forgotten. Most people just say "we thought he was bad but it turns out he was manipulated by his wife". He is HIS OWN PERSON. You cannot just blame everything on his "evil manipulative wife" (which is also smt that sometimes happens irl when both parents are abusive). He is still fully capable of making his own decisions.

And again, it's unfortunate, but if Odaliah were to be given his treatment or if Alador were a woman, the general response would be "That's sad but not an excuse! I can't believe she was forgiven!"

The worst I can think of atm, is Silco and Vi from Arcane. Now ofc they're not married. But the circumstances are similar.

Silco is praised to the high heavens for being one of the best dads in animation (#1 goes to Doofenshmirtz ofc, which I agree with) and the reasons for this are because he... shows his care, puts Jinx first, and loves her. Wow. Fucking groundbreaking am I right. The bar is soooo high/s

The thing is, Jinx is a child soldier. She works for Silco, protects his shipments of Shimmer, takes out the enemies that need taken out, etc. He found her as a young child, and when we cut to the present, she's murdering people without so much as flinching, even delighting in it, and suffering badly from trauma and hallucinations.

Obviously, Jinx was not given the care she needed, and was instead trained to assist Silco.

Am I denying Silco loves her? Of course not! He clearly does. But that's just not good enough. He's a loving dad, but not a good one. He's not the father that neither Jinx nor Powder needed.

Meanwhile, we have Vi. Vi loves Powder, protects her, cares for her, tries to keep her out of harm, stands up for her, and so on. She cares so deeply for Powder, and you can see it. The moment she got out of prison, her first goal was to find Powder.

However, because she hit Powder once, and shouted at her, she's apparently an abusive monster who never cared about Powder. Reminder, she hit Powder because her entire family was killed in front of her and then she learned Powder was the reason that happened. She was like... 14? And she immediately left to calm down. She did not abandon Powder, she left to take a breather because she realised she was too angry. And when she came back, she was drugged and arrested.

Silco is a grown adult who purposefully flooded the streets of the Undercity with a highly addictive drug, turned Powder into a soldier, and is generally a terrible person, even if he is a three dimensional amd well written antagonist.

Vi started the story as a teenager suffering poverty and discrimination just like Silco, had to deal with her own parents death, then her adoptive family was killed in front of her, and then she was forcefully taken from her sister. And yet, people are convinced Vi is a terrible and abusive sister who never loved Powder?

The only example worse than this, methinks, is Stella and Stolas from Helluva Boss.

Stella is a shitty mother who ignores her daughter, which the the audience is shown via a scene were Octavia is having a nightmare and she tells Stolas to deal with it. She frequently screams and swears at Stolas and throws things at him, with no regard for her daughter's presence or feelings.

This is pretty terrible, right? Of course! Everyone knows Stella is a horrible mother.

Stolas on the other hand, is praised for being such an loving and caring father, who tries his best. He even has a song with Octavia!

Well, he also: openly talks about having sex with Blitz and how much he likes it while she was right there, told her people want her money and her body, generally doesn't pay much attention to her either bc he's wallowing about Blitz not loving him back, and doesn't give her feelings much regard.

And yet, the misogyny extends beyond just Stella because people generally agree that Octavia is ungrateful and doesn't appreciate Stolas enough. They get mad at her for disliking the fact that Stolas is cheating on her mother with an imp who's been nothing but rude to her and ruining their family further, and even mock her for feeling unloved. Hell even Brandon, one of the creators, has allegedly recently called her a "cockblocking slut" which, frankly, is a disgusting thing to say about a 17 year old girl.

Idk man I'm just tired.

[theambitiouswoman]

My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me because he said I was too busy for him. It stings and hurts because he wanted a future with me and talked frequently about marriage, but is now acting all sorts of crazy after the end of the relationship. After only a few days, he started going after younger girls still in college (we’re in our mid 20s). He was insecure when my career started picking up this year.

I’m not going to change the ambitious, determined, bad bitch I am for any man, even if this breakup hurts like crazy. I work a demanding 9-5, own my car fully paid off, and even work freelance gigs to explore my creativity. I travel internationally regularly and pay for everything myself. I have a beautiful group of girlfriends that I love and I’m even thinking about going back to get my masters degree now post break up.

This isn’t going to break me, even if I feel so sad. Do you have any tips or thoughts on how to get over a break up?

As I read this I thought to myself wow she sounds amazing! It’s clear that this breakup hurts, but it also reveals how grounded you are in your values. Love this for you

What you’re going through also brings up something important... relationships require alignment, not just love. It’s about emotional maturity, values and how power dynamics play out. It sounds like you were more emotionally evolved and further along in life than he was, not just professionally but personally. And instead of growing with you, he got insecure. It’s clear he needed to feel dominant in the relationship, and when your light started shining brighter, he dimmed himself instead of rising beside you. That’s not your fault, nor are you going to water yourself down or settle, but it is useful information

Now, as for healing... take the time to grieve. We often think that just because something wasn’t our fault, we should be able to brush it off, but healing comes from letting yourself feel everything. Grieve the future you pictured, the version of him you loved and even the part of yourself that hoped he’d show up differently. Once you’ve felt it, learn from it. Take the wisdom with you, not the wound. Then focus on becoming even better and stay true to your potential and your own capabilities

I will say, and maybe this should be a separate post all together, but I would try to also understand why you chose this person, what your attachment to them was, and their overall qualities. I would also make a mental note to cover these type of things early on with the next person, so that you don't fall in the same situation. Like I said.. there is always something to learn about ourselves even if it was not our fault

Some breakups break the illusion that someone was capable of loving you the way you deserve. Let this be a chapter that reminds you of your resilience, not your ruin. You don’t have to make yourself smaller to be loved. The right person will match your pace and there are so many men in the world that can, will and absolutely will love you the same way you love