#2nd note: i was in a relationship. well it wasn’t official it was more of a situationship. it was a good one that kinda ended on a slightly

[pianostarinwonderland]

Hello hello guys!! I participated in the Octazinelle zine 😳👉👈 and this was the fic I wrote!

Link of the zine is found in the notes section. I really hope you enjoy!

graduation [octazinelle: high tide fic submission]

in the few months they have before getting ready to leave for internship, floyd and jade go through the turbulence that future uncertainties bring: where will they go, what will they do, but most importantly... what will happen to their relationship with azul?

ft. floyd leech, jade leech, and azul ashengrotto

╰┈➤ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hello hello!! i participated in a zine titled octazinelle: high tide! you can find the full zine through here~ this was a very fun project and i'm so excited to post the fic i wrote for you guys ^^ i really care about this fic so much, so there will be additional notes that i will leave somewhere :3c don't worry, they won't be hard to find fufufu

“Floyd Leech.”

Said student is just climbing down the steps of the lecture room when he hears his name being called in an austere manner. Any remaining students in the classroom cast Floyd that ‘oh boy’ look as they leave the room. Floyd looks to the teacher’s table where Professor Trein stares at him sternly. He returns the stare with a miffed look, but he approaches the professor nonetheless.

“This is the second time this week that I have caught you sleeping in my class,” Trein rebukes. “This may be your last semester in Night Raven College before you go on your internship, but that doesn’t mean that you can be negligent in my class.”

“Uh huh.”

“Don’t give me that attitude, Leech. I do not want to give any penalties so late into the semester, but if I catch you sleeping one more time, I will. Do I make myself clear, Leech?”

“Yes, sir.” 

“You may now go.” 

Floyd steps out of the classroom with the same expression as he wore when getting called out. Damn Professor Red Squid, if you don’t wanna give detention, then just don’t, he thinks to himself. Meh, oh well. I don’t feel hungry at all, should I even go to the canteen? But where do I even wanna go? Everywhere’s so noisy. 

He walks for a bit, hands in his pockets.

Ah wait. 

There’s the supplies arriving today for Mostro Lounge. 

Floyd barely notices his frown growing ever so slightly deeper, but students walking along the same path as him instinctively step aside. Nobody in their right mind would dare interrupt a disgruntled Leech twin. 

I’m not going to help out with those. Azul can suffer with those all he wants.

“Floyd! There you are!” 

Floyd stops in his tracks. He does not look at the classmate who briskly walks up to him, but he already feels the annoyance rushing to his head. 

“Floyd, we got a paper due in two days,” the classmate yells. “We just need your part, and we'll be done! When are you gonna send it in the gc?”

“Go away.”

“Hah? Don’t give me that!” The groupmate’s voice raises in anger. “We have a literal group paper to submit, and we just need your part so that we can submit it earlier!”

Floyd faces him finally, but this time, his eyes are dilated, teeth are displayed, and brows are furrowed. An all-too familiar menacing expression. “I said go away.”

“Eep!” The classmate takes a step back, expression immediately shifting to fear for his life. “O-ok ok! Just- just submit before the 11:59 deadline in two days! That’s all I needed to say, ok!”

And right after, the student runs away.

Floyd huffs. He has now made up his mind on where to go. 

Jade is wiping the sweat off of his face in the locker rooms when one of his Octavinelle classmates approaches him. “Hey, Azul’s calling for you,” he says. “He’s by the gates right now.”

“Oh?” Jade looks up in confusion. “I thought Floyd was supposed to be with him right now.”

“Well, he’s not there now,” the classmate replies while scratching his head. “They need more backup and Azul’s calling for you.” 

“Ah, I see.” He smiles. “I shall be there, then.”

The classmate leaves the locker rooms, leaving Jade all by himself. The rest of the class has already left, eager for lunch. 

Jade slows down in cleaning himself up.

Azul’s name brings back a rip that’s been tearing at his heart. It burns in the way that electricity probably burns, maybe to a lesser degree: his body stops working the way it usually does, and his chest still reels from a shock of pain. It’s not physical by any means, though by the Sea Witch, he wishes it was. It would have been so much easier to deal with. He’d be shipped to the best hospital, all bills easily paid for, and he’d be recovering well back in Octavinelle. Or if he dies, then that is that. No more pain to feel.

No, it’s a harder kind of pain. It’s the kind of pain that makes him want to tear flesh and bone with teeth and claws, the kind of hurt that urges him to destroy a ship, the kind of ache that makes him want to burn his already burning eyes. It’s the kind of pain that won’t go away even if he does all three.

Jade breathes in. Hold it. Breathe out. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out. Breathe in… breathe out…

He cannot afford to lose himself now, whether by wrath or by tears. 

He packs his bags, changes back to his uniform, and leaves the lockers. His light footsteps are overshadowed by the sounds of enthusiastic jogs to the cafeteria in the corridors. Jade takes a moment to breathe in the afternoon sunny air, letting out a bit more of his worries out of his lungs before he walks down the stairs and through Main Street. 

And soon, he finds himself nearing the tall gates of the school, where a group of students are gathered around large boxes. 

It annoys Jade that the gleam of silver hair stirs mixed emotions. On one hand, his troubles are dashed completely from seeing the very person he keeps close. On the other hand, it is the same person who’s making him go through hell.

He swiftly shifts his focus to the situation in front of him. Some of the other boxes should have been on the way to the Mostro Lounge by this time, yet there are still several of them that the other Octavinelle students have to carry. It isn’t surprising—after all, they decided to upgrade a few things, in preparation for the next dorm leader. Supplies that a simple run to Sam’s shop won’t cover, no matter how much he claims to have it all in stock. 

“Be extra careful with that. That tableware costs us quite a fortune.” Standing by the boxes with a clipboard resting on his arm, Azul watches his dorm mates as he writes notes on the clipboard. He has his dorm leader facade on, serious and stern, but even from a distance, Jade can see his slightly nervous gaze towards the supplies. 

As another pair leaves with a heavy box, Azul looks at them before his eyes fall on him. “Jade, good you made it on time.”

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets. “I thought that Floyd was supposed to help with the supplies.”

“Well, he’s not here now,” Azul answers, frowning from annoyance. “I was wondering if you had any idea as to where he is right now.”

“I don’t. His history class should have ended 10 minutes ago.” 

“Hmph, nevermind. We need to get all of this into the lounge.” He gestures to the boxes. “All the boxes are complete, and we’ll do a final count of all the supplies once everything has been moved there.”

“I see.” Jade nods. “Will you need me to assist you?”

“No, you may enjoy your lunch break after helping us move these boxes,” Azul answers. “I’ll be making my next successor do that. It’s a part of his learning, after all.” 

“Ah. I see.” 

It annoys him to feel that same shock of hurt returning to his chest. 

A bemused look crosses Azul’s face. “Does that offend you,” he teases. “I never took you for one to be tilted by that.”

Jade blinks. “Why Azul, whatever makes you think I’d be offended over that?” He smiles, with a bit more effort than he’s used to. “You must be imagining things from how little rest you have in passing on your position to the little siren.”

“You exaggerate.” He keeps his clipboard and pen into his bag. “We need to move. Jade, carry that box over there.” He points to one of the smaller boxes, marked with the word FRAGILE, and picks up another box. 

And wordlessly, Jade follows, carrying a box that must contain brand new tea sets. New tea sets that remind him that a new dorm leader and manager of the Mostro Lounge will take over. 

That his term and Azul’s will end because they’ll move up to 4th year and go their separate ways. 

Jade resists the urge to break them. He’ll carry these then find Floyd. 

Back at home, the schools of fish would band together, staying close until Floyd swam past them, splitting their perfect formation. Together, apart. Together, apart. 

Together. Apart.

Separation was not new to Floyd at all. In an “eat or be eaten” world, fish and merfolk alike live with the thought that the people closest to them may be gone the next day. Floyd has hunted before, has fought before. He’s even the one who said goodbye to his parents when leaving for Night Raven College.

But he said goodbye with the promise of seeing them again after school is done. 

He stares down at the river that runs below the bridge. This spot is rarely ever frequented by students at lunchtime, if only because everyone else is either eating in the canteen, having meetings, or just being with friends, and the bridge is on the other path away from the Hall of Mirrors. Besides Octavinelle, it feels the closest to home on this campus: here, he can watch the current flow, and the fish that live below its clean stream. 

Home, huh? Floyd wonders if home will still feel like home once he returns from Night Raven College. 

It will be the same dark passageways and bioluminescent lights, the same faces but all grown up. Except that he isn’t a child that can pick fights with anyone and nab their scales as a prize, he is to be stuck with running the family business of making deals, expanding connections, beating up people who betray their trust. Pretty much like what he already does with Azul now. 

Except that the boss that would stand with him and Jade is not Azul at all. 

The fish in the river swim with no obstacle in their path. They may split apart to avoid the occasional rock, but they would be together again. Together, apart. Together. In the small space that they share, there is no vast ocean that opens up new paths for them to split ways. Not until they swim down the cliff and into the open sea. 

Floyd has never envied river dwellers until now. 

Jade walks behind Azul going to Mostro Lounge. It’s something of a routine that started in Night Raven College. When Azul walks, he and Floyd follow him from behind. He doesn’t remember how or when it started. Probably started to make Azul’s image look powerful: he is in the front, wearing a coat that imposes authority, and Jade and Floyd standing at the back makes him look almost impossible to touch. 

Regardless of the hows or the whys, it’s a position that has always given him comfort. From behind, Jade can watch Azul. He can see if Azul is pleased with something by the bounce in his step, or if he’s pissed by the clack of his heels. And from the front, Azul can’t read Jade since he’s always looking forward, and that lets Jade startle him with a random brutal teasing remark. 

Right now, though, he wishes to not look at Azul. 

Azul appears to be beaming, and Jade knows exactly why. He’s found the perfect successor for not only leadership of Octavinelle but also manager for his prized restaurant. He’s gotten accepted in all the places he applied for his internship. 

He’s gotten accepted already into the university that he aims to go to.

Jade vividly remembers the way Azul grinned from ear to ear when he received the email. He remembers the audible, “Yes! Yes, I got in!” that almost sounded teary-eyed. He remembers Floyd saying that they should celebrate over some drinks. He remembers smiling to the best of his abilities while saying congratulations for being accepted. 

That was two weeks ago. He’s said many fake things in his life, and he would never say sorry for them. But until now, the heartless congratulations weighs heavily in his conscience. 

It’s simple, really: Azul has been working hard all his life to achieve his dreams. And Jade was there to witness the journey, from the ideas to the headaches to the defeats to the victories. It’s a huge milestone for Azul to get to stay on land and study in a place where he feels he will thrive. So it’s unfair really, to not be able to celebrate such an achievement happily. 

And yet, Jade can’t bring himself to. 

Their relationship started as something transactional. Tweels keep his secrets, Azul lets them in his plans. Tweels support him, Azul entertains them. And if Azul fails to entertain, then they will drop him like plastic to the chute. There and done. That’s supposed to be their relationship. 

So why then does it hurt to hear that Azul got accepted? Why does it hurt to think about how in a few months, he won’t see Azul as much as the present? Why does it hurt to think about the uncertainty of when they will see each other again? 

“Jade, you can put down the box over there.”

Jade blinks. He’s at Mostro Lounge. Has he been so deep in thought that he didn’t realize when he arrived?

Schooling his expression, he puts down the box on the counter that Azul gestures to, unaware of the concerned expression on Azul’s face. 

Floyd doesn’t know when he started staring into nothingness to gaze at memories, but he’s now seeing the stone stage from middle school, where his younger self is playing drums to his brother’s bass and someone’s piano. 

He remembers, he was getting irritated with the piano melody, and at the time he couldn’t pinpoint why, except that it lacked something. Now that he thinks about it, it’s because that pianist’s playing had no life. No vigor, no passion, just technique that wouldn’t get anyone dancing. “Next,” he had said and stopped playing. The pianist was protesting. Floyd forgot what he said, just that he protested that he wasn’t done playing, but he didn’t care enough to hear about it.

“Everyone sucks, Jade,” he threw his sticks to the ground. “No one’s good enough to be part of our band. Let’s just go.” And he and Jade—who was bigger than him at the time—left the small auditorium of their school. And it’s a blur, Floyd doesn’t remember why he and Jade didn’t go home right away, but he remembers very well the syncopated melodies coming from the piano they forgot to close. 

And he remembers the gasp he made, the way his heart was stirred from how alive the music sounded. 

And he remembers how quickly he swam back inside to see who’s playing, and his wide-eyed gaze when he spotted the familiar octopus.

“Hey hey, that was so cool,” he said to the flustered Azul. “Play some more, play some more!” 

“Huh? No way, I have to go soon!”

But he didn’t let him go. He insisted he play the piano as he picked up his sticks and played a beat. “Come on, just one song! Then you can go!”

And he started his beat. And when it was just him for a long moment, Floyd had wondered if Azul left. But the sound of an E minor reached his ears, and the next moment, Azul’s playing was matching to the beat of the drums. And his music had heart. It had spirit, it had technique, it had passion. 

And the best part? Azul matched his rhythm when nobody else did. 

“I knew I’d find you here, Floyd.”

Eyes turning away from his reflection in the water, Floyd looks up to the face that he’s known since birth. Jade, impeccably presentable despite having PE class earlier, walks towards Floyd, leaning on the railing of the bridge he stands on. But he does not go near him. 

“What do you want,” Floyd asks. 

“We had a new batch of supplies arrive at the Lounge today,” Jade answers. “You were supposed to help out with the unpacking.”

He only answers with a curt hum before turning back to the water below. 

He hears a sigh. And footsteps approaching.

“You’re thinking about last last week, aren’t you?”

Floyd turns again to Jade. He’s by the bridge railing now, same side as him, but he continues to keep a respectable distance. Jade doesn’t look at him directly either, his gaze directed at the horizon ahead of them. 

He’s thinking about it too.

“Yeah, you could say that,” he answers. “It’s just, really ass, y’know?”

Floyd believes that in spite of their identical genetics, they are two people with different identities, dreams, and beliefs. And don’t get him wrong, it is a lot better that way to have individuality. But deep down, there is a comfort knowing that Jade probably feels the same feeling that leaves Floyd dizzy with frustration, that binds his chest with a mix of anger and sadness. And Sea Witch knows, Floyd needs that comfort now. 

“‘Ass’, you say,” Jade repeats. “Tell me about it.” 

A beat of silence passes between them. 

“It’s just that. It takes half a fish brain to know that Azul’s got grand plans after graduation. Get into the best business school, build his own corporation, build another company, and a third company. And I’ve known this for Sea Witch knows how long, and it was all fine, I didn’t care that much, but then…”

“...But then the letter came in.” Jade fills in. 

“Yeah,” Floyd emphatically answers. “That damned acceptance letter from whosit business university came in. Like, I don’t know why, but it just made everything feel… real. That Azul’s really gonna go somewhere else. And I hate that it’s been hitting me like this for the last two weeks. I can’t focus well, I’m pissed off, Trein’s told me off about sleeping. It’s so ass.”

The silent air between the twins weighs heavier. Floyd’s eyes briefly look at the fish in the river again—the damned fish that he wants to throw a rock at so they separate too—before he turns to Jade. “How ‘bout you? Was it also the letter?”

Jade doesn’t answer right away. Floyd understands; in moments like these, Jade hesitates to speak his mind, even to him. It’s part of their nature to be cowardly, after all, just that Jade exhibits it more between the two of them. 

“... Somehow, yes, but if I were to think about it… it’s actually been a while now,” he finally answers.

“Eh? Really?”

“I knew down the line that there would be farewells to be made,” Jade says. “Like you said, Azul has already made plans for himself, and he invests in those plans, years in advance. But there’s always that part of me that wonders… if there’s space for us in those plans.” 

Floyd finds himself inhaling sharply at those words. 

“I see his goals coming to fruition, and it pains me to say that I can’t even properly support him. The letter, the new supplies, the little siren he’s going to appoint… they’re all reminders that it will all change.” Jade smiles, but in pain. “Azul won’t be the dorm leader, I won’t be the vice leader, and we won’t do the things we used to do. And we won’t see each other until perhaps the next VDC. And when we graduate… would he call an end to our agreements? Would we grow so busy that we become strangers again? We would always say that our relationship is merely transactional and that we would leave him if we get bored, but…”

Jade stops, and the air weighs even heavier. Floyd feels taken back to the first day on land, when breathing with lungs felt heavy and difficult. 

Suddenly, Jade laughs. “What clownfish have we become?”

Floyd too joins his twin in mirth. “Can’t help it, Azul makes me feel understood.”

He raises a brow. “Is it gonna be about the first time you played together with him?”

“I mean, it’s how it started,” he answers. He doesn’t realize the small smile that settles on his face as he remembers once more. “Like, back then, everyone just kinda avoided, y’know? And that’s fine, at least, I thought it was. ‘Twas fun and all to be intimidating. But no matter what I’d do, Azul always matches me. He knows exactly what to play to my rhythm. And even in how we work, he knows what’s the stuff I’d like to do or the stuff I’d do well in. It just feels nice.”

It feels too nice. 

Too nice that if it disappears, it will leave his heart bound tightly by melancholy. 

“…Hey, I can’t be the only sappy one here.” Floyd eyes Jade. “C’mon Jade, share too what’s made you appreciate Azul.”

“I already shared a lot earlier,” Jade says defensively.

“Heyyy, be fair at least. I know you have your own thing.”

“What else is there to say? You already said everything.”

“Liar. I know how you started reading your books more after meeting him.” 

“So? Those were lessons that we had to learn as well.”

“Uh huh sure. Then explain why you’ve only gotten better in everything you do after meeting Azul.”

Jade glares at him. 

Floyd grins in response. “Gotcha.”

A beat of silence, then Jade sighs. “If he makes you feel understood, then he makes me feel capable.”

“How so?”

“One reason.” He puts up one free hand, with one finger up. “He’s demanding.”

Floyd chuckles. “That’s an understatement.”

“You’re right.” Jade grins, teeth flashing. “He’s exigent. Making us run around the school to do 5 things at once, on top of schoolwork. Even before NRC, he was just like that. I assumed he was insane. Until now, I still think he’s insane.”

“You say that, but you don’t look like you’re complaining at all.”

“Because thanks to that, I wasn’t pretending to be good at something anymore.” His next smile is closed. Softer. “I went from barely comprehending a textbook and barely lifting a seashell with my magic to understanding contract language and unlocking my unique ability. He made me do things, and I planned to just make someone else do it and pretend it was me.” 

“Ohhh.” Floyd’s eyes widened with remembrance. “And then he caught you.”

“Yes.” Jade shakes his head at the thought. “And I was expecting him to laugh at me, but he didn’t. All he did was sigh and teach me. Magic, studies, law, something about the way he taught those things clicked something in me. And even the things that he didn’t teach but always talked about, like culinary and how people behave, I was able to absorb things and got better. Dare I say,” a smirk forms on his face, “I’m better than Azul in some things.”

“Like flight class.” Floyd grins.

“Like flight class,” Jade repeats smugly. 

And they stop talking. Jade turns his gaze to the distant horizon, looking at something farther than the blue of the sky. Meanwhile, Floyd glances back at the river. He understands that Jade is done talking personal. But it’s fine for him. He can almost hear the unspoken thoughts. Once Azul leaves, who’s going to be the pianist in their little band that makes their every day exciting? Once Azul leaves, who’s going to tell them that they can do it? 

Once Azul leaves, who’s going to understand them?

“So this is where you two are.”

Simultaneously, Floyd and Jade whip their heads around. Floyd swears his heart almost leapt to his chest when he saw those familiar blue eyes. 

One hand in his pocket, Azul stands on the threshold of the bridge. He and Jade fully turn around as he walks towards them until he’s directly in front of both of them. 

“Hello, Azul,” Jade greets, like the conversation a while ago never happened. “How was teaching your next successor what he has to do?”

“Went well,” he answers. “His prior experiences already reassure me, but he’s also demonstrated that he knows what he’s doing. Currently, he and our other dorm mates are taking care of the supplies.”

“Weird that you’re not being so strict, considering how much you value your restaurant,” Floyd comments. “You’re not even gonna be there to make sure nothing’s going wrong?”

“I trust that things are going well with my new successor in charge. I’ve taught him very well enough,” Azul says. “But more importantly… I have matters to discuss with the both of you.”

He turns his head to look at Jade. “Jade, you’ve been out of focus lately. Just a while ago, when you were bringing the box of teacups to the lounge, you were so deep in thought, you didn’t look like you were aware of where you were going. And even during work hours, you haven’t been as sharp as you usually are. A few professors have commented on your slouched posture as well.”

Jade’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“And Floyd.” Azul turns to look at Floyd. “Professors have reported to me that you’ve either been asleep during lectures or interrupting class with an outburst. You’ve also been moodier than usual, and it shows in your cooking and your behavior. I’ve heard a few students rant about you in group projects.”

Floyd briefly remembers the group mate that approached him earlier. 

“So what are you getting at exactly, Azul,” Jade asks. “Even we have our off days as well.”

Azul casts him a pointed look. “Off days for two weeks straight.” 

He receives no quip in reply. 

He crosses his arms. “Jade, Floyd.” His neutral serious tone changes. It quivers slightly. He’s worried. “I know you two well enough that there’s something going on. Is there something that happened?”

Floyd looks away. Jade does as well.

Floyd hates the concern in his tone. It makes him want to break. It makes him want to be upfront about his feelings and how it’s been bothering him. 

But how can someone like him really tell someone like Azul that you’re afraid to lose him somehow? How can he retract all the times he said that their relationship is all transaction and no emotional connection? How do you even start bearing something so vulnerable? 

They must be the same questions that Jade is grappling with now. Jade, who’s usually good at worming his way out of any conversation, has nothing to say to leave this topic. 

Azul sighs, breaking the long silence. “Is this something that has to do with me?”

The twins stiffen. 

Floyd can feel Azul’s gaze towards him. 

A tense moment passes. 

“... I had a feeling.”

He finally looks at him but in confusion. Jade is also facing him with wide eyes. 

Azul exhales through his nose. “You don’t have to tell me anything about what you’re feeling right now. If at all.” He turns around, preparing to leave. His head is bowed down, not letting either twin see his expression. “But I just want to let you know, I’m always here if you need me. Not just for this, but for anything, even if in the future.”

Floyd’s breath hitches.

“Do you… really mean that?” Jade asks, almost meekly.

Azul looks at Jade in puzzlement. “Why wouldn’t I? You two have been with me for all these years, even in my weakest hours. It’s not like I’m going to leave you even after we graduate.”

“Really,” Floyd asks. “Even when you get really busy with university and we’re running our family business?”

“Well, I won’t deny that we will be busy,” he answers. “But I’m not letting go of you two just because of that. You know me too well, after all. And you’ve supported me all these years, it would be embarrassing to leave that unpaid.”

“You mean that?”

“Have I ever broken a promise? If you want, I can even put that on a contract and have you sign it.”

In one single breath, the binding sadness and worry that tightened Floyd’s chest leaves. 

Without thinking, he moves towards Azul and wraps his arms around his slim frame. He ignores the surprised gasp as he buries his face on his shoulder. His breathing feels lighter than it has ever been the past two weeks. 

He feels Jade joining in, hugging Azul from the other side and burying his face on the other shoulder. His breathing sounds even to any person, but to Floyd, he can hear a slight quiver, like Jade is trying to hold back tears. 

“Is… is this what it’s been all about, all this time,” Azul finally asks. His hands move to pat their heads, a motion that always comforted the twins. “You two are strange for worrying about this type of thing.” 

Despite his words, Floyd can hear the smile in Azul’s voice.

[writingfool001]

Our Little Secret

Author’s Note: This prompt reminded me of someone’s Malleus x reader quote where the shirt that Malleus wore said, I’m cute, while Reader's/MC’s said, “I’m fucking cute.” Malleus thought it was an emphasis on his lover’s cuteness, but it wasn’t. I thought about that while writing this.  

Prompt: Reader's mom/dad/parent gives reader and Twist Character very cheesy, matching shirts/sweaters/scarfs. Twist Character does their very best to pretend that they love it.

Pairing: Epel X Gn! Reader

Warning: Fluff, gn! Reader, 2nd POV, Short

You were going about your day as you would on the Felmier farm which you were happy at the Felmier farm, carrying a crate of apples back to the house. You decided to spend your summer with Epel and getting to know more about his family as well as seeing Epel without having to worry about Vil being around.  

His family was very welcoming when you both showed up on the first day and were interested in getting to know about you. They heard so much about you from Epel and heard about some of the things you did. They thanked you for looking out for Epel and wanted to get to know you more.

Within the first week, you learned more about Epel from his family and some embarrassing childhood stories while Epel tried to stop them. You reassured him that his younger self was cute and told him some of your embarrassing childhood moments when it was just you two. You had to adjust to the sleep schedule, but it wasn’t too hard, considering you spent many hours not sleeping due to Crowley.

Speaking of Crowley, you got a package from him with a note that said that he got a shirt from Sam and thought about Epel and you. You pulled out the two shirts, laying them on the bed, and immediately cringed at what it said on them but laughed a bit as well once you read what they said.

“What did Crowley send you?” Epel came in before putting down new sheets on the bed.

“Crowley sent us shirts,” You laughed a bit before handing him one, “They’re bad.”

“They can’t be that bad...” He stared at it before cringing hard, causing you to resist the urge to laugh.

“You don’t have to wear it,” You reassure him as you watch his left eye twitch. “We can send them back or get rid of them, saying they got lost or damaged.”

“No. No. No, I’ll try it on,” He went into the bathroom as you sat on the bed before you started to scroll through your phone a bit then heard the door open. A smile immediately decorated your face as you saw your boyfriend, standing in the bathroom doorway, while being a bit flushed. His expression showed something opposite of yours, officially done with the shirt.

“You didn’t have to put it on,” You reminded him before getting up and kissing his cheek. “But it is quite striking on you.”

“Can we please not wear this around my family, who knows what they may not say. I’m not embarrassed of our relationship, but I absolutely hate this shirt.” He sighed, relaxing against you.

“It’s okay to not to like the shirt, I just want one pic of us both, that’s it.” You asked, hopefully convincing him for one picture.

He agreed, after a while, and you both posed in front of your camera with the horrible shirts that Crowley sent. You promised Epel that you would keep it private to yourself and tell Crowley that the shirts got lost on the way back. His family asked what got sent to you and you just told them that it was just some clothes as well as some other misalliances stuff.

Every now and then, you look at the same picture of you two whenever you need a small pick me up through the day. He gets a little flustered whenever you quietly bring it up between you two before silencing you with a kiss on the lips.

[russadler]

All That Remains: Chapter Two

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

A look back to happier times and a defining conversation

A/N: Hey lol once again sorry I took so long. This chapter is relatively shortish (?) because it was originally part of the next chapter, but I decided to split it since it was getting long lmao. The next chapter will actually be coming soon I promise I was like almost finished but decided to publish this section since it was done and yall need to get fed.

Also another note I guess? I refer to Russell as “Adler” even though its third person Sophie centric. I believe since they came to know each other through work, Sophie only initially heard/knew of him by his last name and will still refer to him in her mind as such. I didn’t do this much in the first chapter but I thought about it and also it felt weird calling him Russell all the time LMFAOO

August 2nd, 1980

“…I’m surprised you never had kids.” 

It’s more of a question than a statement, and an admittedly nosey one. They’re currently in the midst of a very picturesque picnic in a field of their choosing, the pair of them eating lunch while sprawled across a spare blanket pulled from the back of Russell’s car. The man in question is currently laid on his side, chewing a strawberry and peering up at her with a curiously cocked eyebrow making an appearance over the rim of his aviators. 

Sophie wriggles under the scrutiny, a blush rising to her cheeks as she redirects her eyes towards her leather boots with a timid huff. They had been together for more than enough time by now, enough time for the lustre of having Russell Adler as her boyfriend to have worn off. Yet, even all these months later, a mere glance from the man was enough to leave her flushed and stumbling over her words. 

“I’m sorry —“ She rushes to apologize, sandwich suddenly forgotten as she picks sheepishly at a loose thread on her dress. She had meant to word things a little…differently, but who was she kidding? it wasn’t her place to ask such things in the first place.

With Russell, the more you pressed him, the further away he pulled. His trust came with patience and time, a small price Sophie didn’t mind paying. There were things he held close to himself, his marriage being one of them. It was obviously a sensitive topic, or at least one he didn’t enjoy talking about. She hadn’t intended to interrogate him about the fact he didn’t have any children despite being married for a little over a decade, it was his business. Only recently had he begun sharing that part of his life with her, and it was a sign of his trust that she deeply valued.  

And here she went, utterly obliterating that carefully constructed confidence because she seemed to lack a brain-to-mouth filter.

“You’re fine, kid.”  Russell soothes, interrupting her scattered thoughts. The woman manages to to will herself to look at him again, where his enlivened grin signaling he was more amused than offended by the statement. 

He sits up, and one of his hands moves to rub at her thigh in reassurance. “I admire that you’re always pretty straight to the point.” He notes lightheartedly, subtly pacifying her current flustered state.

The woman huffs, self conscious despite the comforting words. "It gets me in trouble way too much.” She confesses, biting into her sandwich a bit too harshly. It was true. She had a terrible habit of being too honest for as long as she could remember, and it had made for some terribly awkward experiences throughout her life.

“I’d argue telling the truth is a pretty good thing to get in trouble for.” Adler remarks in return, his hand remaining on her thigh as he continues with his lunch. She could tell he was making a point of appearing relatively unconcerned about the whole thing, likely in a bid to provide her some sense of consolation. The man was leaving little room for her to feel upset at herself. 

Sophie releases a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and relaxes, shoulders loosening as she finishes the last of her sandwich. 

There’s another beat of silence, and then it occurs to her that Russell had managed yet again to wriggle his way out of talking about himself. It was a common pattern, nearly every time she attempted to make conversation that centered around him, he would artfully steer the conversation away from himself and find a way to redirect the topic towards her. 

He was annoyingly good at it, too, and she was just starting to catch on that he was doing it in the first place. 

“Wait! You didn’t answer the question!” The brunette gasps, exasperated. “You always do this!” 

“Do what?” Russell retorts, behaving as if he were completely ignorant of what was the matter. He always acted as if he didn’t know.

“You always find a way to not answer me! Every time you change the subject and then hope I forget!” The woman laughs, failing miserably in her attempt to come across as annoyed. His behavior was maddening, but Sophie often found she was less irritated and more awestruck that the man was so artful at playing people. 

“I’d never do that, you’re just making things up.” Russell quips, mouth twisted with a lopsided smile as he continues the playful banter. “I love talking about myself, actually. Could do it all day.” 

Adler just keeps smirking, stuffing a strawberry into his mouth as he does. The younger rolls her eyes, because as much as she loved him, the man could seriously be a pain. “You don’t actually have to answer the question if you don’t want to. ” She adds, humor now absent from her voice as she quietly rearranges the bundle of wildflowers she had picked.

“I said it was fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry about it.” Russell tells her again, his voice calm and even as he continues to rub circles into her skin. There’s a brief pause, and suddenly the hand on her thigh stops moving. “Wait, do you want kids? Is this your way of asking?” He asks, his head suddenly shifting to level her with a steely gaze. Despite the presence of the aviators on his face, she can feel the intensity of his stare. The man’s demeanor had grown suddenly serious, alert even.

“No! I mean…kids are nice and all and I don’t mind them…but I’m not really dead set on having them.” She explains, her own hand darting to grasp Russell’s larger one. From one moment to the next, it had suddenly become her turn to offer reassurance. “In all honesty, I feel I’d quite rather do without them, really.” She returns the man’s heavy gaze with one of her own, both in search of his reaction and in the hopes of communicating her honesty. "I was just…curious.” She admits shyly.

It was the truth, she wasn’t one of those girls whose ultimate life goal was of being a housewife with the white picket fence, apple pies, and endless kids. There was nothing wrong with that ideal per say, but it wasn’t something she saw herself wanting. 

The woman wasn’t really looking to make children a part of her life. If it happened, it happened, but she could go without them and feel just fine about it. 

Russell, on his part, seemed relieved. Accepting her answer with a nod, his gaze moves towards the sky above as he gives her hand a short squeeze.

Then to her complete surprise, he decides to answer the question anyways. Sophie turns to look at the taller as he begins to speak, shifting to lay on her left side and face him as he leaned back on his hands. 

“Well...there’s a lot of reasons, really. First, my job.” Adler then pauses to spare her a brief glance, as if to ensure she understood what he was attempting to convey. It was no secret that Russell was often away, leaving her for weeks and sometimes months on end. She was never allowed to have any hint of what he was doing or even where he was going, all that she could know was that his work was very important and very dangerous. 

Sometimes she found herself sitting at home and just hoping he was still alive. Confirmation that he was okay only came when he either called her to say he was coming home (which was rare) or until he appeared out of the blue. It wasn’t a feeling she liked having, and a sentiment Russell hated subjecting her to.  

It was just the way it was, the way it had to be. Their relationship would always come second to work, Adler had made that very clear from the start. She was either in or out, and he made sure that she knew the price that she would be paying in being with him.

Russell sighs, the exhale sounding deep and tired before he continues. “It would be unfair to do that to a kid, they wouldn’t understand why their dad was away all the time...And it would have been unfair to my ex, she would have had to essentially raise them all on her own.” 

Sophie nods silently in understanding, the living scenario was on she had come to understand personally. The periods of absence would be difficult on both mother and child for various reasons, and it was good that the couple had weighed the risks.

“Some of the guys at work are okay with that, and have wives that were okay with that, but for us..?” He continues, voice even as he grasps one of the flowers she had stuffed into the picnic basket and begins rolling the stem between his thumb and pointer finger. “We didn’t want kids that bad. We were okay, just it being the two of us.”

“You both ended up going your separate ways, too. I could imagine if you had kids that would have been a nightmare.” She adds, a relatively astute observation but one that she felt was worth mentioning. They had made the right choice after all, it had seemed. 

“God, I’m thankful we didn’t for that reason especially.” Russell replies with audible relief, thankful that children hadn’t been something to consider in their subsequent divorce. 

There’s a moment of silence, and she thinks he’s finished speaking, especially seeing that he officially answered her question. 

But then he sits up properly, clearing his throat before speaking once more. “And all these years later my feelings about it are the same and I don’t regret it.” He tells her, sounding confident and assured as he rips most of the stem away from the main portion of the flower with a powerful yank. “Even if I wanted them now, I’m a bit too old to be a dad. So that ship has long sailed.” 

Sophie nods. Russell was a man of very few regrets, and his sense of judgement was one she had come to trust wholeheartedly. He turns to her, an arm reaching out to tuck a few locks of her hair out of the way before placing the remainder of the flower behind her ear. 

The woman smiles so hard her cheeks ache. Russell Adler was a romantic, despite the fact he vehemently denies it. It was true and no one was going to believe her ever. “I don’t think you really missed out, everyone I know who has kids just complains about them.” She states, still smiling.

The taller’s chest rumbles with a chuckle. Having carefully maneuvering the food out of the way, he then wraps an arm around her shoulders, he pulls her down to lay at his side as she lets out a surprised squeak. “Have we been talking to the same people?” He asks. 

“If one of them is named Jason Hudson, then yes.”

Russell laughs then, and it’s music to her ears.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for dating Daniel LaRusso

Daniel LaRusso x reader

warnings:

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Hi!! Could I request some headcanons of what dating Daniel LaRuss (The Karate Kid) would include, please? Thanks so much!!”

he was a classmate in your first period

you were actually exhausted from an all-night study session and passed out mid-lecture

so when you didn’t wake up at the bell, danny took the liberty of waking you up himself

“seems like someone had a good night’s sleep” -danny

“...hm?” -you

“you slept through the whole class but i couldn’t just leave you here, teacher’d probably give you detention” -danny

“oh...thanks” -you

“i might as well ask...would it be okay if i walked you to your next class?” -danny

you weren’t opposed

he was quite the gentleman, too

carried your textbooks and everything

“you don’t have to do that, you know” -you

“no, i know, i know, i don’t mind” -danny

okay no you were already falling for him it had only been 3 minutes

“thanks for keeping me company” -you

you thought about him all of 2nd period

okay but he walked you to third period too

you guys started talking to each other more during school

maybe a little too much...

“mr. larusso, mx. l/n, i won’t tell you again. no talking in my class” -teacher

“sorry, sir. wont happen again” -danny

“doubt that” -you

soon you couldnt function at school without him. every lunch you sat with him, every class change you walked with him, you met him at the school gates, you met him at your locker, you met him before you left for the day

danny loved talking to you about karate tbh, which didnt bother you at all

“mr. miyagi’s been teaching me kata, it’s a form of karate. you’ve gotta let me show you sometime!” -danny

“yes please!” -you

speaking of mr. miagi he gushes abt u to him

“daniel-san, you should let them know how you feel” -mr. miyagi

and surprise!!! when you opened your locker at the end of school one day, he’d left you a note!

“y/n, hope it’s okay if i pick you up at 8, how about a golf n’ stuff date? my treat. -danny <3”

okay if that wasn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever read you didn’t know what was

so you waited for him and he was right on time in that...interesting convertible

“like the ride?” -danny

“love it, haven’t been in anything like this before” -you

“really? well, mr. miyagi actually gave it to me for my birthday” -danny

“no kidding!” -you

your date was actually really exciting!

you played a little mini golf but were WAY too distracted by each other

“so you’re from jersey? you like this place any better?” -you

“well, not at first, but now that i met you im starting to rethink that” -danny

“smooth one, larusso” -you, poking him with your golf club

that date actually did not end with a kiss lol

you guys didn’t get the chance because as soon as you got home your parents practically ambushed you

“aw! how was it! let me take a picture! hope you two had fun, but not too much fun or else i’ll have to do something about it” -your parents

your parents actually kinda liked him

so he started picking you up for school

which was sick bc you didn’t have to take the bus anymore

you guys decided to make your relationship official after danny took you to the beach and showed you a little karate by the oceanside

“kiss me” -you

“huh” -danny

“you heard me” -you

“i sure hope i did, because this next part’s gonna be embarrassing if i didn’t” -danny

~~~official~~~

you guys were a liiiiittle lovey-dovey at school

he freakin loves holding your hand

but some teachers are very against “pda” so you’d have to obey their rules occasionally

lunch dates on weekends

which are usually packed lunches that his mom makes

oh my god his mom loves u

“i can tell you’re a good one, y/n. daniel’s got good taste” -lucille

“aw, thanks mrs. larusso” -you, moments before she wraps you in a giant hug

picnics!!!

and karate!!!

and car rides!!!

and swimming!!!

and golf n’ stuff!!!

okay you guys didn’t have a lot of cool and romantic ideas but you were also like, content

especially when the two of you just laid next to each other and watched the clouds in the sky

“i love you, y/n” - danny

“i love you, too, danny” -you

“you know, i’m really glad you fell asleep in class that one day, even if you did miss the whole lesson” -danny

“oh yeah? well, at least i got a good grade on that test i sacrificed my sleep for...and an amazing boyfriend” -you

and finally, school dances

he was so excited to dance with you in front of everyone and pretend like it was just you and him out there

and although he didn’t have the greatest luck at school dances, he wouldn’t let that get in his way

“wow, y/n...you look stunning” -danny

“right back atcha, babe” -you, doing finger guns

you loved seeing his smile and hearing his little chuckle!!

teasing him about skipping the dance all together

“no! no, i wanna dance with you. i’ll make it the best night of your life, i promise” -danny

“whatever you say, dannyboy” -you, kissing him on the cheek

okay but the baby blue suit? what an icon

i BET everybody envied you two

bc ur obviously so in love and happy

they WISH they had what you had

danny requested a slow song to dance to with you

“think it was a good choice?” -danny

“anything is if it’ll get me closer to you” -you

going back to mr. miyagi’s dojo right after to hang out for a bit

and play some silly games

“how was dance, love birds?” -miyagi

“couldn’t have been better”

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove //

[fanfiction-collection]

I had to wait til I was back from holiday to reblog this properly but it was so good! I love how much Ingrid always cared for Sol even when it was still officially their parents' responsibility. Their relationship is really really cute 🥹

further thoughts had to go under the cut bc there were just too many

[sol is 8 in this, and ingrid is 16] - to start with, I appreciate you putting the ages... even if I didn't read it and instead spent a good 5 minutes trying to work out how old 2nd grade is 😭

[The light clicked on, and your sister sat up in her bed, hair all messy] - this whole paragraph really stands out as well written, there's so many details to help fully picture the scene without being overbearing or anything >>>>. Also the idea of a 16yo Ingrid who could have been irritable about her sleep being interrupted, actually just being concerned and comforting to her little sister 🥹

[This was where you undoubtedly felt safest, and it wasn’t surprising when the bad feeling dulled, just a bit.] - this is making the rough patch they have in future hurt a little bit more 😭

[but your biggest bully lived at home with you] - absolutely devastating line

[“Mamma won’t come get me.” You murmured] - equally devastating that she already knows her mum won't prioritise her by 8 years old

[she’d been a bit sad; it was your first day of school, and neither of your parents seemed to care very much] - at least Ingrid gets it :(

[making a mental note to cancel the plans she had with various friends] - she cares about sol so much 🥹

[you were already awake, staring at the ceiling with tears falling from your eyes] - I'm sorry this is all I could think of 😭

[“Look what you’ve done!”] - blaming an 8yo child for a minor accident. oh, the 'fighting sol's parents' tally is going to be long for this one

[“I don’t have time for this.”] - not even comforting said child either??

[You walked into the school like you were heading for your own funeral] - can't even lie, that's how I used to walk to school so I'm with sol on this one

[He didn’t even ask to talk to you on the phone. Not even when he heard what happened] - sigh. tally #3, and that's just for her dad

[Privately, you hoped that you’d never have to do much without her. Ingrid was your very best friend, and best friends were supposed to stay together.] - 🥹

[Mamma came home, who fussed over you right away] - it really says something about how bad her mum usually is that this line is shocking 😭

[Quit saying that! It’s not true] - get 'em Ingrid

[We’ll take her to see someone, if only so you stop stressing yourself out about this] - at least Ingrid knows how to weaponise her favourite child privileges

nerves

sol's masterlist ☀️ 2nd grade shouldn't be as scary as it felt, but sol was quite used to things feeling scarier than they seemed to feel to other people. even if her parents weren't worried for her growing anxiety, though, ingrid was. [sol is 8 in this, and ingrid is 16] warnings: descriptions of anxiety + symptoms of anxiety.

------

Your chest felt tight, tears falling quickly down your face as you sobbed into your pillow. Fear was gripping you, making it so that you couldn’t breathe right. It wasn’t a new feeling, it was one you’d experienced before, though you couldn’t quite put a name to it. You felt sick, sicker when you remembered what the following day was. You’d only been able to get a few hours of sleep before the feeling woke you up, and soon after, you were trembling in your bed, clutching tightly to Snø. 

The feeling was becoming overwhelming, and you were suddenly worried you were going to throw up or stop breathing or something. It was this terrifying thought that had you pushing the covers back, and creeping out of your room. You went down the hall, passed your parents room as quietly as you could, before you pushed Ingrid’s door open. 

“Ing?” You whispered, the low volume of your voice not disguising how shaky it was. The light clicked on, and your sister sat up in her bed, hair all messy. She blinked at you groggily, and you took a tentative step closer. “Ca-can I sleep in here?” 

Your sister seemed to wake more, concern replacing the sleepy expression on her face. “Of course you can.” 

She’d barely gotten the words out before you were scrambling forward onto her bed with her. Ingrid’s arms were already open, and you curled into her, allowing her long arms to wrap around you. This was where you undoubtedly felt safest, and it wasn’t surprising when the bad feeling dulled, just a bit. 

“Solstråle, you’re shaking.” Ingrid murmured, frowning at the quiet whimper you gave in response. “What’s wrong, huh?” She wondered, tucking your head under her chin and rubbing your back. 

You were sniffled, hiding your face in her neck and gripping her shirt in your fist as you snuggled even closer. “‘M Scared.” 

“What are you scared of?” 

Only here, in the dark and curled up against your favorite person, could you admit what was really terrifying you. “Don’t wanna go to school.” 

“School is scaring you?” Ingrid wondered, not knowing you to have struggled with this in the past. 

You nodded, the steady thumping of your sister’s heartbeat in your ear grounding you. 

“Why?” 

A shrug, this time, with you only speaking when Ingrid tried to extract your face from its hiding spot. “Don’t know. Just scared.” 

You really didn’t know. No matter how much you tried to figure out why you were so terrified, nothing came to mind. There was no explanation. All you knew was that this feeling was sticking around, and you’d do just about anything to get rid of it. 

“Is someone at school bothering you?” Ingrid asked, her voice dropping to anger at the mere thought. 

“No.” You weren’t lying. Sure, the kids at school could be mean sometimes, but your biggest bully lived at home with you. You dealt with her every day, and the mean kids couldn’t hold a torch to your mother when she decided she’d had enough of you. The social aspect was a stressor, for sure, but it wasn’t the cause of the pit in your stomach. “It’s… it’s new. It’s different.” 

“It’s not new, not really!” Ingrid tried to rationalize. “It’s the same school, you’ve been there before. You know how everything works. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” 

“It’s still new. A new year and a new teacher and a new class and new people and… I don’t wanna go. I want to stay here. Please.” You looked up at your sister, eyes wide and watery, and her heart truly broke. She hated that you were so upset, and she hated that she didn’t have the power to tell you that you didn’t have to go. 

“School is important, Solstråle. You’ll be okay once you get there, I promise. It’s just the anticipation that’s causing you trouble.” Her voice was encouraging and kind, but you were merely puzzled, the word being unfamiliar to you. 

“What is anticipation?”

“It’s like the waiting before something happens. It’s always worse than whatever actually happens.” 

“What if it’s not better once I get there?” Ingrid was the person you trusted more than anyone in the world, but even she couldn’t put your nervousness to rest with just a few words. It was too intense for that to work. 

“You go to the nurse, and you tell them you don’t feel well, and they’ll call Mamma. She’ll come get you, and we can try again tomorrow.” Ingrid explained rationally, believing herself that you’d be completely fine once you got to school. 

“Mamma won’t come get me.” You murmured. At this point, Ingrid was used to the tension between you and your mother, and she knew that, likely, you were right. “She has a meeting with your manager. Pappa’s taking me in the morning because she’ll be gone all day, and then he’s going to work.” 

Your sister remembered now. She was supposed to pick you up after school, because no one else would be home. When her mother had told her, she’d been a bit sad; it was your first day of school, and neither of your parents seemed to care very much. 

“Then I’ll come get you.” Ingrid promised, making a mental note to cancel the plans she had with various friends, and the lunch date she was supposed to go on. If no one else would be there for you tomorrow, then she would make sure she was.

“Really?” You asked quietly, glancing up at her hopefully, and then looking away quickly, as if your hope would jinx it. 

“Promise. You promise me to try your best to go and stay, and if you don’t feel better by lunch, I’ll come get you.” 

Until lunch was a long time. A whole morning with the icky feeling in your stomach didn’t excite you, but Ingrid was already going out of her way to help, so the least you could do was accept her deal. “Okay. Promise.” 

“Good. Now it’s bedtime, okay?” 

“Kay.” You mumbled, closing your eyes tight to appease your sister, though your tight grip on her shirt didn’t relent. Ingrid turned the lamp back off and settled back under the covers, this time with you held close to her. She hoped that would be the end of it. When she woke the next morning, though, and you were already awake, staring at the ceiling with tears falling from your eyes, she knew it wouldn’t be. 

-------

Your hands were shaking as you brought the little spoon to your lips, and your tummy twisted at the thought of putting food into your mouth. You’d managed a couple mouthfuls of cereal, but suddenly, it felt like another would make you sick that instant. Putting the spoon down, you reached for your glass of water, only your hand was still shaking, and the glass slipped from it, shattering back down onto the table. You jumped, startled. The water quickly ran off the table and down onto your father’s lap, as he swore. You shut your eyes tightly, awaiting the inevitable yelling that was sure to follow. 

“Shit!” Your dad shouted, pushing his chair backwards and rising from his seat. His pants were soaked with water, and you knew he was wearing a new suit for an important meeting he had today. 

“Sorry!” You cried, grabbing a napkin and weakly trying to mop up some of the water. “Sorry, Pappa.” 

“Look what you’ve done!” He shouted, looking down to glare at you, only softening slightly when he saw your tears. 

“It wasn’t on purpose.” You mumbled, shrinking into yourself in your seat. If you’d felt sick before, you felt like you might just curl up into a ball and die now. 

“It doesn’t matter. You need to be more careful. Now I have to change, and you’re going to make both of us late.” Your father scolded, apparently oblivious intense distress. 

“What’s all the yelling for?” Ingrid wondered, walking past her father as he stormed upstairs to change. You were crying silently, cleaning up the water as best you could. You didn’t respond to Ingrid’s question, though your dad did stop and turn to address your sister. 

“Your sister is being clumsy, again. Can you take her to school, Ing? I have a meeting and I’ll be late if I take her.” 

“Yeah, I can.” Ingrid agreed easily, still looking between you both with uncertainty. 

“But… you’re supposed to walk me to my class and help me find my cubby. It’s my first day. Mamma said, you’re supposed to come with me.” You whimpered, your lower lip wobbling. 

“I don’t have time for this.” Your father sighed, turning around and walking out of the room without another word. 

“Pappa,” you called after him, really starting to panic now at the thought of having to manage everything all by yourself. Your Mamma had promised that Pappa would come with and help you get to class. It was the only thing that had stopped the absolute tantrum you’d thrown the day before when she told you she had to go to a meeting instead of taking you. You started to cry, for real now, bringing your hands to your face and instinctually trying to swallow your tears, to no avail. 

Within a few seconds, though, there were hands on yours, pulling them away from your face, and you opened your eyes to see Ingrid kneeled in front of you. Unlike your father, Ingrid was deeply concerned with the way you were acting. It seemed to her to be more than just the regular first day butterflies; you were properly panicking now. 

“Don’t want to go, Ingrid, I can’t do it by myself,” you sobbed, leaning forward until your sister wrapped her arms around you and pulled you into a nice, tight hug. 

“Shh, shh.” She soothed, running her fingers through your hair, noting that your father hadn’t even bothered to put it up into a ponytail like he was supposed to. “You won’t be alone, I’ll take you in. We’ll find your cubby, and meet your teacher, and everything will be fine, Solstråle.” 

Leaning back, you looked at your sister skeptically. “Really?” 

“Of course!” Ingrid said with a smile. She wiped a few tears from your cheeks, and straightened your shirt. Checking the clock, on the counter, she made an executive decision. “Let’s get your face rinsed off, and your hair braided, and then I’ll take you.” 

With your hand in hers, Ingrid brought you to the bathroom, and for the first time that morning, you thought that things might be okay. 

------

You walked into the school like you were heading for your own funeral, trudging along and dragging your feet next to your sister. Ingrid stuck by your side, though, as she’d promised to do, but the time for her to leave came all too soon. Seeing the tears welling in your eyes as the teacher called for everyone to say goodbye to their parents, she took your hand and led you over to the corner of the classroom. She knelt down in front of you, trying to seem relaxed and calm, hoping you could pick up on it. 

“I’m gonna go now, Solstråle, but remember our deal?” 

“I remember.” You mumbled, scrubbing your fist over your eye, desperate not to cry in front of your classmates. 

“Okay. Just try for me, yeah? Until lunch, and if you’re still feeling nervous, go to the nurse and have them call me.” You nodded dutifully, leaning forward for a hug. Ingrid gave you one, squeezing tight. “Just try your best for me. I know you can do it, yeah?” 

“Okay.” You didn’t think you could do it. In fact, you were almost sure you couldn’t, but disappointing your sister wasn’t an option, and surely she’d be disappointed if you didn’t hold up your end of the deal. 

“I love you. I’ll see you soon.” Ingrid said, kissing your forehead and giving your hand one last squeeze. 

“Love you too.” You watched your sister leave, feeling the lump in your throat grow as she headed out the door. You sat back down at your desk, fiddling with your pencil case instead of talking like your classmates were doing. 

Pausing in the door to look back at you, Ingrid had to force herself to continue to walk out of the room. You looked so small, sitting at your desk all by yourself. Too shy to talk to your classmates, having found yourself in a class with none of your friends this year. There was nothing Ingrid hated more than seeing you crying, and she’d have been lying if she said a few tears didn’t slip down her face on her walk back home. 

------

As it was, Ingrid hoped deeply that she wouldn’t get a call from the school. When she did, though, it wasn’t a call that she was expecting, aside from the fact that it was still hours until lunch time. 

 The nurse called your Mamma first. She didn’t answer, and then the nurse called your Pappa. He answered, quickly instructing the woman to call your Mamma again, and then Ingrid if she didn’t answer. He couldn’t come get you, he explained. He didn’t even ask to talk to you on the phone. Not even when he heard what happened. 

It was your worst nightmare come true. The horrible feeling had just grown and grown and grown. You just wanted to go home. That was all you kept thinking, repeating it over and over to yourself. 

Your teacher was going around the room, having each student introduce themselves and say a fun fact. You knew what to say. Your name, and then your fun fact, which was that your favorite color was green. Only, when the teacher called on you, and you opened your mouth, it wasn’t words that came out. 

Instead, you leaned over and threw up all over the ground. The class gasped around you, and a few of the boys began to laugh. You were mortified, sure you’d never been this embarrassed in your entire life. The teacher was trying to quiet the class back down, while walking over to you. Getting sick hadn’t made you feel better, either. You felt just as icky, and even more embarrassed. The assistant teacher led you out of the classroom, your gaze fixed intently on your feet as you were sure everyone was staring at you. 

You’d resigned yourself to silence once you arrived at the nurse’s office, only answering her questions with nods or shakes of your head. If you didn’t talk, you wouldn’t embarrass yourself further. All you could think about, as the nurse called your Mamma and talked to your Pappa, was that you hadn’t done as Ingrid asked, and waited until lunch to go to the nurse. You hoped she wouldn’t be too disappointed; you’d tried your best, it just hadn’t been good enough. 

Finally, your Mamma answered, telling the nurse that she couldn’t come get you either, but that your sister could. You breathed a sigh of relief at that, because you knew Ingrid would be the nicest of anyone, even if she was mad that you hadn't made it till lunch. 

Your sister practically ran the few blocks to the school as soon as she hung up with her mother, feeling absolutely horrible for you. She only felt worse when she made it to the school and walked into the front office, seeing you through the doorway, curled up in a chair in the nurse’s office. She couldn’t tell if you were ill or not, but you had a sickbag next to you, and you still looked very pale. Quickly, Ingrid signed you out, before she made her way over to where you were waiting for her. 

And though you were too old for it, the second you saw Ingrid you were launching yourself into her arms, wrapping all of your limbs tight around her body. 

“Oh, liten.” Ingrid sighed. She’d expected you to be upset when your Mamma had called to tell her what had happened, but her expectations didn’t prepare her for how completely broken you seemed. You sobbed quietly into her neck, holding on so tightly she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to get you to let her go.

“I think we might have a case of nerves on our hands. She doesn’t have a fever, or any other symptoms, and her teacher said she seemed very teary all morning until she was sick.”

At the reminder of what happened, you cried harder. Ingrid shushed you gently, her hand soothingly circling your back. The nurse continued, a sympathetic expression on her face. “I tried to explain to your mother, but as soon as I said I thought it was nerves, she didn’t seem to be very worried.” 

“And we should be worried?” Ingrid wondered, sounding much older and much more concerned than a 16 year old should sound. Exactly how worried the nurse had expected your mom to sound, though she’d been disappointed. 

The nurse nodded. “This is more nervous than an 8 year old should be for school. I think having your sister evaluated might be a good idea. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but anxiety can be hard for a child to deal with if they don’t have the tools to do so.” 

Ingrid agreed, internally, but knew it would be a challenge to get your Mamma on board with it. When it came to you, Mamma always seemed to be doubtful of the truth of any issue you might have. If it had been Ingrid, the older girl knew she’d have had the first available appointment with the best psychologist in town. But because it was you, and Mamma seemed to have so much less patience with you, Ingrid knew it would be a challenge to convince her there was a real issue here. 

“Ing?” You whispered, still attached firmly to your sister. She hummed in response, leaving a kiss on your temple. “I wanna go home.” 

“Let’s go home, Solstråle.” Ingrid agreed, moving as if to release you and stand up. You were having none of that, though, and Ingrid smiled despite herself, lifting your small body easily into her arms. You couldn’t bring yourself to care if your classmates saw you, if your teachers saw you, being carried by your sister out of the school building. 

Although school was only a few minutes walk away from home, you could feel the icky feeling coming back as you got closer and closer. Your Mamma was going to be so mad at you for not making it through the whole day, you just knew it. She was going to be mad, and yell, and Pappa was still going to be mad about when you spilled on him, and he was going to yell too, and home didn’t feel like the place you wanted to go anymore, though you’d been wishing for it all morning.

You knew it was going to happen again, this time trying to give your sister some warning. 

“Ingrid,” you whined, trying to breathe deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth, coming to a complete stop on the sidewalk only a block away from home. “Feel sick.” 

Your sister looked down at you in alarm, your face alarmingly pale as your lips pressed together tightly. 

As quickly as she could, Ingrid grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards the grass. 

You retched onto the ground, though there wasn’t much to come up other than bile that burned at your throat. You were crying again as Ingrid rubbed your back, handing you your water bottle when you were done. “Sorry.” You managed in between small sips, feeling guilty for probably embarrassing your sister by throwing up on the street. 

“Don’t say sorry.” Ingrd frowned. “Maybe you are sick, huh?” She brought her hand up to your forehead, not finding it any warmer than normal. You shrugged, not sure how to convey your fears. Ingrid seemed to pick up on your unease, though. “Are you still nervous?” 

You gave a small nod, slumping into your sister when she stood and pulled you in for a hug. 

“Why? We’re going home.” 

“Mamma and Pappa are going to be mad. About school and about spilling the water and for interrupting their meetings when the nurse called, and making you come get me and-” 

“Slow down, slow down.” Ingrid told you calmly, crouching down once again on the sidewalk, uncaring that several people had had to cross the street to avoid your traffic jam. “No one’s mad, Solstråle, you didn’t do anything wrong. Mamma’s coming home from the meeting early to check on you, she just wants to make sure you’re okay.” 

“She’s not mad?”

“No.” Ingrid promised. “We’re gonna go home, get comfy on the couch, watch a movie, and wait for Mamma. And then we’ll figure out how to make you feel better, okay?” 

You liked that. The ‘we’ Ingrid used. Sometimes it felt like you could do anything if she was with you. Privately, you hoped that you’d never have to do much without her. Ingrid was your very best friend, and best friends were supposed to stay together. 

She was with you when you walked home, did exactly as she promised and got all bundled up with you on the sofa and put on your favorite movie. She was with you when your Mamma came home, who fussed over you right away, only scolding you lightly for working yourself up so much that you were sick. 

It felt nice to be cared for by your Mamma, even if she seemed a little exasperated with you. Really, when was she not? After that comment, though, Ingrid decided to wait to talk to your parents until you were in bed. She was more sure than ever that getting you the help you needed would take a lot of convincing, and she didn't want you to have to hear her argue with your parents on your behalf. 

The raised voices coming from downstairs woke you, however, only a short time after you’d been put to bed. Intrigued, you’d followed the voices, freezing when you overheard your name. 

Sat on the top step of the stairs, you listened as Ingrid talked to your parents. Your head was swirling with contradicting and confusing emotions. On one hand, it felt good to hear Ingrid stand up for you. On the other, though, it felt like a punch to the gut everytime one of your parents said something that completely dismissed the issues you were having. 

“She is just nervous, Ingrid, don’t stress about it. All kids get like this, she’ll be alright.” Your mother sighed, annoyed with having to repeat herself; Ingrid just wouldn’t let up. 

“No Mamma. It is not normal! You didn’t see her last night when she came to me having a panic attack, and you didn’t see her today when I went to get her from school. She needs help, this isn’t fair on her. She shouldn’t have to struggle with this.” 

“Ingrid, there is nothing wrong with your sister. She just likes the attention.” Your father cut in, repeating something he’d heard his wife say over and over whenever you got into arguments with her, and ran off to him in tears. 

At the same time that tears began to well in your eyes, Ingrid snapped, her voice raising. “Quit saying that! It’s not true. She’s shy, she doesn’t like attention, and she certainly didn’t want the attention of her classmates while she was getting sick in front of them. Mamma, please. She needs help.” 

You could imagine your parents exchanging looks with each other, a silent conversation being had. 

“Alright. We’ll take her to see someone, if only so you stop stressing yourself out about this. I don’t want you to worry about your sister, Ingrid. She’s fine, we’ve got her. You need to focus on football.” 

Ingrid rolled her eyes. She’d never put football over you, never. It was her passion, her favorite thing, and while it messed with her social life and made things complicated, she would never let it tear her from you. Not when you needed her. 

“I will stop worrying when a doctor tells you that there is no problem.” 

“We’ll take her, Ingrid, I promise. Everything will be fine, your sister will be fine. If she needs help, we’ll get it for her.” 

You wondered if they were doing it for you, or if they were doing it for Ingrid. Like everything, like always, it was probably just for Ingrid. You were used to that; being less important than your sister. And as much as you wanted to be angry with your sister, you just couldn’t. Not when she was the only one who did things for you. 

Once, Ingrid had promised that she’d always be on your side. So, while you weren’t sure your parents would ever be on your side, or if they ever had been, you knew you could count on Ingrid. No matter where she went, no matter what you did, Ingrid would always have your back. She’d promised, after all. 

------

it's been a while! hope everyone hasn't minded the long wait, and enjoyed this sol installment 🫶🏻 she really is my favorite to write for.

[tell me if you see typos okay byeeee]

[unknownwriting]

Summary: Some hcs with Zhongli and his lover who is also a history nerd

Character(s): Zhongli

Warnings: None :)

Notes: I either simple for a 7000 year old daddy or a 3000 year old femboy, there’s no in-between 😤

━━☆⌒*.

Little back ground

Growing up, you’ve always been obsessed with the ideas of archons and visions. You weren’t really sure why or how they caught your interest, you just know that you were fascinated by the idea. So of course, after spending your whole childhood reading about archons and visions, the first thing you did when you go older was get a vision. You weren’t sure how you would get a vision all you know is that you needed to be recognized by the an archon. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to get recognized and earn your vision. The first step for learning all about visions and archon was complete

The 2nd step was actually going to a place that had a god. Up until now you lived in Mondstadt, which was an amazing place by itself. The people were so sweet, the food was delicious, the whole place was homey. With no god, the people were able to live with freedom and no grand traditions, however it wasn’t enough to satisfy your desire to learn all about gods. With your vision out of the way the 2nd thing was to now go to a place that is still influenced by a god. And what better place than Liyue. It’s somewhat close to Mondstadt and it is still heavily influenced by Lex Rapis, even if he has passed on. 

The first thing you did in Liyue was trying and befriend at least a few people so you weren’t alone. And along the surprisingly many you ended up befriending, one seemed to stick out like a sore thumb. Zhongli, a funeral parlor attendant.

He was a weird man, good looking man but weird. He looking no older than is late 20s yet he spoke and acted with the grace of someone with many years of experience. And yet, you found it to easy to talk to him. His vast knowledge of information it just what you were looking for when you came to Liyue. Not only was he surprisingly good eye candy to enjoy but he also helped you learn things that most of Liyue historians don’t seem to know

Dating Zhongli

How the 2 of you started to date is kinda basic. You had already spent so much time with him that it hardly felt any different. But of course, Zhongli being a gentleman and all he at least wanted to make it feel official. So he booked dinner at one of Liyue famous dinner spot.

Now we all know Zhongli is very big on traditions and order (hehe lil joke there 🤧) but yeah. So don’t be surprised when Zhongli shows up in a suit and tie holding a huge bouquet of glaze lillies. Now you loved the whole set, the flowers were gorgeous and Zhongli in a suit never looked better but that doesn’t mean you don’t tease him about it. Normally when the 2 of you were together you would also tease Zhongli about being old because he knows so many things and he would just sho it away but this time he actually seemed flustered. A small blush covered his cheeks. Your we’re definitely gonna to be remembering that for years

Now that date went say planned and the 2 of you officially started dating. Although it didn’t feel like things changed much, in a good way. Zhongli was still as old and as wide as ever and you were just as passionate to learn. However, it would’ve been nice to know that Zhongli is a very passionate lover too. A modest, but passionate one. Always giving kisses on your hands, buying you little things, and just doing everyone a gentleman would do. It was kinda overwhelming at first but just like the rest of him, you came to love it.

Library dates, library dates, library dates, library dates, library dates 🥺

The 2 of you definitely end up doing nothing but hanging out at a library, drinking some tea and listening to Zhongli’s stories about the old days. It was not different from before you 2 were dating but seeing how the 2 of you were committed to the relationship now Zhongli would tell you everything in great detail.

Things you probably never even heard of her talks about. It’s not that he didn’t trust you, well yeah, he didn’t trust you at first but he had a good reasons. Coming across something like you is rare nowadays, being so passionate and honest, so he wasn’t sure what you were doing with the information until he solidified his relationship with you.

Definitely has your own theories about your older lover. Like him being a time traveler or maybe a vampire or zombie. It’s kinda childish and kinda stupid but Zhongli knows things not even the oldest in Liyue know.

Picnic dates during a bright Sunny day. Zhongli will prepare his favorite snacks and tea then bring you to another really ancient spot that seems like a stop out of fairy tale. there he’ll tell you about what’s going on at work and what’s he been up too and just random trivia about the area.

He’s very talkive when it was just to 2 of you. That’s when he’ll let it slip that he’s Rex lapis, or something that gives it away. He doesn’t even seem to notice until you practically jumped up and called him out for it.

You definitely had a heart attack when he tell you that’s he’s like 7000 years old. And now that his biggest secret is out of the way, how he knows everything makes sense.

Although it’s not like you cared, you still fell in love with him and maybe even more. I mean it’s not everyday you get the date a god. Definitely a big confidence boost knowing that you were able to win over a god’s heart.

It took you a while to learn and even realize it but Zhongli is a lot more depressed than you thought. You can’t blame him tho, he’s lived for over 7000 ish years and had to watching everything be created and destroyed. Including his contacts and relationships.

So there will be a lot of moments where the 2 of you just cuddle in silence, with you relaxing and maybe catching a few z’s while Zhongli will just simply enjoy your company.

In moments like these, he’ll always have a hand on you, whether it’s on your hand, on your thigh or playing with your hair. He feels so much comfort in holding you and feeling you.

It doesn’t take you long to figure out that Zhongli is a very passionate lover when it comes to everything. He also gives the best. Kisses, hugs, dates...even more suggestive things 😳

But it only gives you all the more reason to fall in love with him.

[shesawriter39049]

|7 DEEP| M| MASTERLIST|

SMUT/ANGST/FLUFF/POLY AU 

AU SUMMARY- Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with! This is a candid in-depth look at the rollercoaster ride that is your life!

ALSO LOWKEY A RAGS TO RICHES STORY.....

Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, Tae, Hoseok, and Jimin, all already work with the OC and Joon, Kookie comes in later one as a new hire...and the possible final piece…

DISCLAIMER: Obv this is a poly so the boys are Bi..but outside of kissing and dirty talk I have not YET ventured into physical MXM….

NOTE- As long as this keeps getting support the initial plan is 7 one-shots, one for each boys. Everyone installment will have smut as well as a overall storyline, one that not only ties into your job, but also the OC’s (AKA YOU) special dynamic with each individual member. The last one-shot (7th) will be the first and maybe only one where smut wise it’s all 7 of them, it will finally address how they all came together, and will be partially a flashback sequence. HOWEVER, there will be bits and pieces of the “Characters” lives and what not sprinkled within the “drabbles” too...so those will also be worth reading especially, as the story developes....or at least reading the summaries! 

Kookie will make appearances throughout, however, he is NOT as involved off rip as the other boys…

ONE-SHOTS SO FAR :

AFTER-HOURS- NAMJOON X OC (Tae comes in at the end) - 

ABOUT- Your husband and business partner find you up way past acceptable work hours for the 3rd night in a row! So, daddy has to step in and remind you that’s not something we do in this household. You come before work, in every sense of the phrase!

OR-You're in desperate need of a 2nd videographer/editor, because Yoongi’s in over his fucking head! So here you are, up at 1 AM scrolling through resumes because your that boss that hates to overwork her employees so she overworks herself!

AKA- “MEET THE KIMS” 

PRETTY PLEASE- TAEHYUNG X OC - ( Joon comes in at the end)

About- Tae fucks you on top of your receptionist's desk before you fire her…

Or- Tae’s feeling a little needy...and somewhat high-key self continuous about you possibly hiring a new production assistant...AKA...Jungkook. It seems as though Mr. Kim takes pride in being the youngest within the office! It seems as though your baby boy just needs a little..reassurance…

JIN & CHOCOLATE- JIN X OC (FT A lil Seok at the end ) - 

(5K SMUT WITH A SIDE OF PLOT! NOT JIN’S INTRO CHAPTER) 

About-You suck Jin off…and brownie batter may or may not be somewhat involved because why the fuck not. Oh, Hoseok comes over to drop off weed…and welll….doesn't exactly leave

Or- His assistants birthday is tomorrow and she’s insisted on him making his infamous “Dizzy Brownies” AKA…pot brownies and Jin being the perfectionist he is, scrapes the first batch. You however, think they’re fine and if he’s not gonna bake with said  batter you’ll find use for some of it…..Then Hosoek stops by to bring the missing ingredient…weed and his dick…

TOUCH ME , TEASE ME- NAMJOON X OC 

(5K, IN COLORATION TO THE EVENTS THAT WILL TAKE PLACE IN “GOT ME LOOSIN’ ALL MY COOL)

About- Namjoon eats you out the minute you walk in the door because well…that’s the kinda husband he is!

Or- Jimin text’s Namjoon to brace him for the mood you’ll more than likely be in after a day full of drama and finally firing the front desk receptionist! Which essentially red for him to make you come hard AF and then feed you….OH, and You guys invite Yoongi over to talk about the Tae and Kookie “Thing”

PRIVATE SHOW- TAE X OC (NEW) 

(5k, Holiday esque one-shot however for the 1st time it does dive into the downside of being in a poly relationship that’s essentially a secret in the publics eye) 

About-Just a casual lunch outing where Tae’s trying to do his job and your trying to get him off under the table with your shoe...nothing new!

OR- Tae and yourself are grabbing lunch at 71 Above, after checking out the last couple of venues for the company's end of the year Holiday party. While at said restaurant, it becomes a humbling reminder that the most important people in your life are essentially a secret...cute!

 UP AND COMING: In no particular order! 

MUTED- YOONGI X OC (SIDE JIN)- HIATUS

Note, this is more of a smut drabble though it will be around 3k...this is NOT Yoongi/Jin’s official “Introduction” if that makes sense….(SNEAK PEEK IS LINKED) 

About-Yoongi goes down on you in the back seat while you’re on a business call….Jin’s driving, lowkey watching..and being a little shit the entire time…

Or- You’re on the phone with a dick of an investor and a second away from losing your shit and calling off the entire deal…however…your boys decide to “distract” you. Give you a little something to keep you at ease so you don’t blow this 6 figure account…

MAKE ME PROUD- JIMIN X OC (ALL THE MEMBERS ARE IN THIS BRIEFLY)

About-  Jimin and yourself take a trip to get a sneak peek at “Filter” before it opens… and Jimin fucks you on top of the bartop…

Or- Jimin’s ready to make his first solo big boy investment….AKA...opening up his own Gay club in WeHo...and the new business venture also reopen’s old wounds about his past. Both good and bad..but at the end of the day he remembers he wouldn’t the version of himself that he’s oh so proud of...without a little someone named “Y/N” 

 “PARTY FAVORS”- YOONGI X OC- 

About- You and Yoongi get a little one on one time while in Amsterdam, IE getting completely stoned, and attending a sex show..hell maybe even joining in on a sex show...shit just get’s wild in the Dam!

OR- You and your boys jet out to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate 16 AVN award nominations (AKA THE TONY’S/GRAMMY’S OF PORN) and while high and in a country where nobody knows who you are...(which means Yoongi and yourself are free to do as you please even in public)....Yoongi admits for the first time that sometimes he feels a type of way that HE wasn’t the one that married you considering the two of you were a thing FIRST....

“CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS” - JIN X OC (Side Namjoon)- NEW 

About- Jin says he's coming over to discuss business over brunch, champagne, and a nice Jacuzzi bath…which, of course, leads to more than just talk about “Finances and portfolio expansions” 

OR: Jin’s the eldest, he loves control, he needs control, hints why he’s the finical controller..always has been...even in the domestic sense. Jin’s also shit at feelings he’s used to being the shoulder to cry on not needing the shoulder..he’s not used to feeling vulnerable...so it’s not to easiest for him to admit that he misses being the one you all come home too...misses being “needed”! He’s used to being the one that has his shit together, being the glue that’s held you lot together during your worst times..so this...is completely out of his comfort zone!

“ALL EYES ON ME”  - HOSEOK X OC (FT OT7)-  NEW 

About- Hoseok and yourself have sex in a very questionable place while at the launch party for ‘Spectrum” I.E. your newest business venture...sex toys…your man deserves a little…”Thank you” for all the work he’s put in...including planning this party!

OR- Hoseok’s in over his fuckin head, he’s the one essentially spearheading the launch of “Spectrum” which is obviously his job as the head of Marketing, tactical ETC, however, this is just..different...he’s literally the one steering the boat. He’s good at what he does he knows this, he’s fucking made for it...but...it;s still’ bringing out some old, nasty insecurities...reminding him how he's his own worst critic...a perfectionist to the fault. Reminding them of those days where he never thought he was good enough...and it would absolutely break him if he lets you lot down! 

“GOT ME LOOSIN’ ALL MY COOL) -KOOK X READER | JIMIN X READER (SMUT) FT- YOONGI & TAE

About- Jimin and yourself take Jungkook shopping for a new suit to wear to the “Spectrum” launch party! OH, and Jimin fucks you in the backseat of your truck in the parking garage of the mall…..

OR: You know Kookie still in that “Broke college grad” phase only being with the company barley a month, and you don’t want him to feel self-conscious at the event! You’ve also been too busy to really check in with him to see how he’s adjusting! So, you thought something like this, in a more laxed atmosphere, would be a good solution! Oh and Jimin, honestly he’s just nosey as fuck and inched himself along, like nobody really invited him he invited his damn self! Also Jungook can’t underatand why the fuck your all so damn attractive...like...why!?

AKA-MEET JUNGKOOK JEON

SNEAK PEEK 

***

THE “FINAL” ONE-SHOT,  IS NOT FULLY OUTLINED YET

******

FINAL NOTE-

This series is open to request...for one-shot/ member scenarios/drabbles.

The initial 7 one-shots are done to get the dynamic and I guess you could say “Plot” set in stone...however, once that’s done and in-between I’m open to random scenarios as long as it somewhat coincides with the “Universe”

This is a story that follows normal day to day life in a sense....they just happen to live a very exciting one!

Anything from them going grocery shopping and making dinner...all the way to the OC and one of the boys fooling around on set...as long as it fits the vibe. I’m down!

   *** To clarify as well...publicly ( And in the workplace) the world just knows your married to Namjoon....the whole poly situation is not something blasted on your Wiki...at least not yet....***

(Optional)

***POSTIONS’S WITHIN THE COMPANY*** 

(Obv things are spread out now and they have other employees but they all STILL oversee multiple jobs...It’s a habit now. For so many years they couldn’t afford the help! So, now that they can they’ve just become a little...protective of said job duties..) 

Y/n Kim(26)- CEO/Founder/HR/Storyboard/Content  creator/Directory/Scriptwriter/Talent scout/ALL OF THE ABOVE (Set design, DVD author, 2nd Location manager, etc)   

Namjoon Kim (26)- CEO/ Founder/ Director/ Content analyst/ Lead scriptwriter/ Sr Production manger/ ALL OF THE ABOVE (IT, web design, outreach, etc)

Yoongi Min (27)- Head digital producer/ Program/site Planner/Production manager/Sound engineer/Production scheduler

Taehyung Kim (24)-Executive Assistant/ Content admin/ location manager/Wardrobe assistant/backup talent scout & health liaison

Seokjin Kim (28)- Senior Accountant/ Sales manager/ Financial controller/Logistics/Operations

Jimin Park (25)- Head talent scout/ Model Liaison/ Wardrobe/ Hair & Makeup coordinator/ Onset assistant/Health Liaison

Hoseok Jung (26)- Social media/ Streaming manager/Tactical marketer/ Advertising/event manager/PR

NOW HIRING: FOR A VIDEO EDITOR/IMAGE PROCESSOR/SOUND EDITOR/SECONDARY PHOTOGRAPHER AKA-

 “PRODUCTION COORDINATOR“

....WELCOME TO ONYX!

[noyasboxdye]

Let me love you- MatsuHana

*******************************************************************

Notes: I’d been sitting on this idea for a while bc I didn’t know how to attempt it but it’s here now :)

Pairing: Matsukawa & Hanamaki

WARNINGS: cursing, mentions of sex, tiny make out scene (its like 2 sentences though), toxic relationship 

*******************************************************************

Hanamaki was so deeply in love with Mattsun he couldn't help it, he truly couldn't he wished he could but when it came to things like this the universe was never on his side. He and Mattsun were technically in a relationship, but it wasn't the kind that he wanted, nor what he would typically go for. To put is simply they were fuck buddies. It had been like that since March of their 2nd year. After a full year of pining after each other they had finally gotten together if that's what you could even call the course of events.

Hanamaki had talked to Mattsun about how he wanted to be in an official relationship several times before, but it was always the same answer which was that he wasn't ready. Which wasn't entirely true. He wasn't ready for a relationship with him he didn't want a boyfriend- not that there was anything wrong with him having one he just didn't want one. Especially not Makki.

Makki didn't know about this. He thought that everything he was saying was true. So, he gave him time, and more time, and more time, and more time. He was more clueless than the new kid in a friend group who's been friends for years making an inside joke from 3 years ago.

His friends would always try and tell him to get out of the relationship. He was always being told that Mattsun was using him and that he was nothing but a good fuck or a way for Mattsun to get his dick wet, but he would always brush it off and give the same excuse that Mattsun would give him. "Oikawa it's fine he's just not ready for a relationship, stop worrying so much!" he would say as an attempt to calm the boy's thoughts and suspicions, but excuses like that can only work so much.

It would always be the same routine one of his friends (usually Oikawa) would tell him to leave the relationship, he would give the excuse, the words would get to his head, him and Mattsun would fuck, he would ask, and then get the same excuse he's been getting for almost 2 years now. "I'm sorry love I am, but I'm just... not ready for a relationship. I hope you can wait for me though because I really do want to be with you." Mattsun would say with those same sad yet amused eyes and that same pity filled face.

Hanamaki was walking down the halls of his high school heading towards the gym after grabbing his clothes for practice when he noticed Mattsun standing near the classroom door doing what looked like laughing and talking to someone, which he assumed was Iwaizumi. Oh, how wrong he was, he felt kind of- who was he kidding really dumb after seeing the boy of his dreams kiss his classmate. Her name was Yayoi she was the epitome of Mattsun's type short, brown hair that wasn't too long, blue eyes and perfect skin, an hour glass figure that most girls would die for.

He looked so happy with her he was basically glowing. "He never smiled like that with me" Hanamaki says tears threating to spill. Pulling himself together he blinked back his tears and walked down the hall after giving Mattsun a few minutes to say bye and start walking towards to the gym too. Noticing that he was going to be late he rushed towards the gym doors and ran into the locker room.

"Hey Makki where were you." Mattsun said grabbing the attention of a certain fluffy haired 6'0 captain. "Sorry my locker was jammed haha." Makki said awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Oh okay." Mattsun said going back to changing Hanamaki taking notice of the arrangement of hickeys going down his neck all the way down his body his eyes stopped at his first row of abs, he couldn't bring himself to look further down knowing that if his heart would probably beak even more than it already was.

"Alright come on we're already late coach is going to mad at us." Oikawa says grabbing his water bottle and heading out the door, dragging Iwaizumi and Hanamaki out with him. "What are you looking like that for Makki?" Oikawa says, "I'll tell you later- we're still going to your house after practice, right?" Makki said noticing Mattsun walking towards him and shifting as he becomes uncomfortable. "Yeah- Iwa-chan wants to come though- is that okay?" Oikawa said noticing Hanamakki's discomfort. "Yeah it's fine." the pinkish brown-haired boy said.

**Timeskip**

"Matsukawa can you go get the broom please." Iwaizumi yelled slightly. "So, can you tell me now?" Oikawa said to Hanamaki as they were walking out of the gym to fill up their water bottles. "Tell you what-", "From earlier Makki how did you forget already." Oikawa said his tone becoming slightly impatient and whiny. "Oh! Yeah uh it's not really anything big just Matsukawa doing the same shit he's been doing for months now." Makki said brushing off the event he saw take place.

"What do you mean like he rejected you again or something else." "No uhm I was walking to the gym and I saw him with a girl and... and they kind of... kissed." Makki said tilting his head up to try and stop the tears from falling down his face. "What do you mean they kissed?! I thought he told you he was gay!" Oikawa said his voice raising more and more as he spoke.

"Uhm yeah heh he did but I guess he just lied or something. Honestly, I could just be misunderstanding the situation... I didn't stay to watch the entire thing." The boy says trying to coax Oikawa into calming down. "Well are you going to talk to him about it?" Oikawa says a look of sympathy on his face taking notice to how sad his friend looked.

"No- I don't really have a reason to Oikawa. We're just fuck buddies it's not like we're together or I'm even in a kind of place to asking him about that." The boy said. "Makki you can't keep letting him walk all over you like this." Oikawa said his heart starting to feel heavy as he saw the tears threatening to slide down his friends' cheeks.

"Oikawa it's fine! I'm fine, he's fine, everything... is fine." He said the tears finally making their way down his cheeks despite his efforts to stop it from happening. "Well obviously it isn't fine if you're crying Hanamaki!" Oikawa said as anger started bubbling up inside him at the thought of someone hurting his friend.

"Hey what happened?" An all to familiar voice said from behind the crying boy. "Mm look what the cat dragged in..." Oikawa said giving Matsukawa a sour face. "Oikawa don't. I said it's fine." Hanamaki said as he tried to wipe his tears away in a way that the taller boy wouldn't notice.

"One second Makki come here. Now." The shorter boy said sounding like a mother scolding her child in a store. "What Oikawa.", "Okay one don't act like that I'm not the one who broke your heart. Two talk to him about what happened. And if he brushes you off again leave him." The skinnier boy said crossing his arms. "And if you don't do it then I will for you because this crying everyday bullshit you're doing is getting old. Now go!" he said pushing his friend towards the earlier left boy.

"Hey, sorry he dragged me away uhm did you still want me to come over or no." The darker pink haired boy said rubbing his arms in discomfort. "Yeah sure. I'm ready now so we can leave if your ready." The slightly tanned boy said. "Yeah I'm ready, and when we get to your house can we talk about something please."

**Timeskip**

Matsukawa and Hanamaki both enter the house as it finally dawns on Hanamaki that he has to do this, he needs to leave Matsukawa. Not because Oikawa said to do it or because Oikawa would do it for him but because he finally realized that it isn't healthy what they're doing especially for him.

He's constantly giving and giving to Matsukawa and he never gets anything in return other than a quick fuck and he's tired of it. He's given Mattsun chance after chance to give him what he wants and needs but he just won't do it. It's draining to give everything and get nothing back in return.

Walking into the tanned boy's room and sitting down on the bed putting his bag down next to his feet he takes a deep breath trying to mentally prepare himself for what's to come knowing that the other boy won't take it well.

Mattsun sitting down next to him and giving him a kiss Hanamaki immediately loosing control over his body and kissing back. "Mmm I missed you." Mattsun says turning his head to deepen the kiss not even giving Makki the chance to respond.

"Wait- wait we-... we can't. We need to talk first remember." The smaller boy said trying to compose his self and catch his breath. "Alright what did you want to talk about.", "Do... do you have girlfriend?" he said finally getting a hold of himself.

"What do you mean." The taller said before getting cut off by the other. "Stop it Matsukawa. You know what I mean do you need me to actually explain it to you?" the pink tinted haired boy said the frustration and anger finally starting to settle in after months of dealing with his behavior. "Well yeah I don't know what you're talking about."

"The girl! Matsukawa the fucking girl you were with her before practice before you even try it. You both kissed and maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation, but I don't think I am considering you smiled at her after you did it." Anger seeping into his words the more he spoke. "Why?" the later said rolling his eyes.

"What the fuck do you mean why? We're fucking practically everyday and you ask why I'm worried or caring when I see you kiss another person?! A girl at that!" Makki says his voice slightly cracking as tears threaten to fall down his cheeks once again. "That's all you're worried about really? No, me and her aren't dating Makki. Now come back on the bed I missed you." Matsukawa says trying to change the subject once again.

"No, Mattsun it isn't just that. It's everything-you." Makki said the brunettes smirk faltering as he feels his heart drop. "What do you mean me.", "I mean you Mattsun! It's you, I can't even fathom-... look I don't want to argue with you because I still want to be your friend, but I refuse to let myself continue to be toyed with by you." Makki said grabbing his bag not really wanting to be in his room much less his home any longer.

"How have I been toying with you Makki?" Hanamaki face going sour looking at the boy with disgust. "How have you been... maybe lets start with the fact that we've been doing this... what ever this is since last year and it's become basically a routine at this point for me to ask you out and tell you I want to be with you and you tell me you aren't ready for a relationship! You're toying with me and I'm over it I'm leaving if you're going to continue to try and fuck me then lose my number."

Makki finally walking out of the door his head held high as tears stream down his face. Biting his down on his bottom lip to stop the sobs from making its way past his lips. Speed walking down the road and turning the corner to his house as he quietly wept to himself.

Entering his house and taking off his clothes as soon as he got in his room heading straight for the shower. Turning on his playlist after texting Oikawa that he did it, turning on the do not disturb for the rest of the night.

Taking time to himself the entire night doing a face mask and whitening his teeth while he finished remaining homework. Finally laying down and coming to the realization that he would never get Matsukawa the way he wanted and felt he needed. Crying for a few hours before falling asleep for the night wishing the boy would let him love him the way he wanted. His worries all going away in that moment waiting to sneak up on him the next morning.

[mcustorm]

45 M/M Gay Movies, Ranked

The other day I bit the bullet and decided to watch Brokeback Mountain for the first time. All I knew about that movie was that it was basically the CMBYN of yesteryear and somebody got killed with a tire iron. Anyways, so I finish the movie and realize that I’ve seen a *lot* of gay movies, especially in the last couple of years. So here are my rankings according to nothing but my personal preference. I won’t write about all of them, but you can ask about something if I leave it out.

I wish I could give you a rubric for this. The reality is, there are some radically different movies on this list with different tones and intentions. There’s buddy comedies, tearjerkers, small indie features, big theater releases. So trying to rank them all is TUFF.

The Way He Looks - Such a beautiful coming-of-age movie. Maybe the 2nd one I saw on this list? Perfect length, perfect characterization, simple yet compelling, clever. And nothing feels better than reaching a happy ending (for once, because some of these movies’ endings-- SHEESH) that’s been earned. It just hasn’t been topped.

2. God’s Own Country

3. Pride

4. Kanarie - Yea, we don’t talk about this movie enough. It’s one of the most recent that I’ve seen. Beautiful. The way that it references apartheid and the war to reflect the protagonist’s feelings? Flawless.

5. Jongens - The first movie that I saw on this list, gets many a bonus point for that.

6. Moonlight - Yes, I am black. Yes, I understand this movie may be too low. Moonlight kind of scares me. In general, there’s not nearly enough discourse surrounding this one for me. But while it’s not exactly a popcorn-muncher, to me it’s the most personal movie on the list. When I look at Chiron and all that he’s been through, I can’t help but draw parallels to my own story up to this point. It holds a mirror up to me in a way that no other movie on this list does. That makes me uncomfortable.

But it is so poetic. Have you guys seen the script for this? The directing, the SOUNDTRACK, the acting. Phenomenal. 

7. Weekend

8. Call Me By Your Name - Yes, I am aware of people’s beef with this one. Yes, I understand a lot of people may feel this one is overrated. While I do think this one gets worse on rewatch, the truth is, it’s not really *that* overrated because hot take: most (meaning over half) of the movies on this list range somewhere from “just okay” to “painstakingly bad”.

It’s the score, the cinematography, the subtext in most all of the dialogue, the acting, the way that you can smell the apricots through the fucking screen. People who say this movie is a vacation ad are fucking CORRECT. One of my biggest gripes however is that it’s too fucking long. And uh, that age difference...

And Armie Hammer’s a weirdo...

9. Dating Amber* - Dating Amber has one of those “Duh” premises that sounds like it could’ve been done like 30 times before yet I can’t think of any other examples of it. So what you’d think would be a wacky premise actually turns out to be a frankly poignant movie with an emotional story arc for the main two characters.

10. Hello Stranger: The Movie* - This movie, which is the first sequel (sorta) on the list, frankly had no business being as good as it was. Even though the web series is required viewing, I felt the movie fixed like all of the series’ issues: pacing, lack of compelling drama, the awkward quarantine format. The drama and stakes are there without us having to visit Angst City. And the theme and the ending reprise is HEAT.

11. Uncle Frank* -  Uncle Frank is like The Help of gay movies. Like The Help, it’s *overall* a short, sweet and fluffy movie set decades ago. Like The Help, you’ll still come out of it feeling pretty good even though it has some dark moments. Also like The Help, you’ll wonder after the fact if the central white girl absolutely needed to be so...well, central for this story to be told. Bonus points for Paul Bettany and Character Actress Margo Martindale.

12. Brokeback Mountain - Tragic.

13. Moffie - Set during the South African border war, same as Kanarie. You even hear the word “moffie” throughout Kanarie. Anyways, this is a war movie for the gays, and a very intense watch. I liked that it was a much more realistic view of what a soldier endured during that period, and of course on the flip side I thought it was more thorough in its depiction of the rampant racism. I gotta find a good book on this era.

14. A Moment In the Reeds

15. Get Real - Maybe the most out of place movie on the list. I need to rewatch it. I do recall absolutely loving the score, however. Like, I fucks with this:

16. Freier Fall - When I finished Brokeback I was like, “Wait, wasn’t that just Free Fall with extra steps?” And yea, it kinda is. But even discount Brokeback is still pretty good.

17. Beautiful Thing - There are few things to like about this one, the relationship between the two guys, the mother’s love for her son even though it’s not all rainbows, that nice little final scene. I did not care for the dark-skinned woman being portrayed as, you know, the drug abusing, school dropout, gossipy, butt of jokes neighbor. But that guy really looks like Tom Holland tho.

18. Love, Simon - It’s at this point that I move from “Yea, that movie is good, you should watch it!” to “Look, you may like it, you may not.”

19. The 10 Year Plan - This movie is so fucking cheesy that there was cheddar coming though my speakers. But when I think of “Hallmark/Lifetime, but for the gays” this is the crown jewel. There’s some other movies on this list that could’ve taken some notes.

20. The Christmas Setup* - The trend of fluffy-white-gay-cable-network-movie continues and in good form. It’s not deep. It’s not really thought provoking. It’s cute. Fran Drescher is there. You should watch it.

21. Giant Little Ones

22. Hidden Kisses

23. Alex Strangelove - In a unique twist, the emotional core of this one is arguably between Alex and his girlfriend. All that ends up happening, however, is we the viewer keep wanting more Alex/Elliott scenes; those are the most electric in the whole movie. The end result is a hot yet endearing mess.

24. Fair Haven

25. The Thing About Harry - Freeform’s attempt at making a cheesy rom-com for the gays. It’s...okay. I personally feel like the main character’s friend is highkey trifling but it’s whatever.

26. Your Name Engraved Herein* - So I guess I’ve decided I officially hate angst. I mean, I get how it’s often necessary to tell an effective story, but I’m just not here for 2 hour indie angst fests that get passed off as “high art” anymore. I cannot do it. Somehow this is Brokeback’s fault...there just has to be a better way to tell gay stories in the 2020′s. Anyways, the last song was fuego.

27. The Perfect Wedding - Easily the most bizarre movie on this list. It’s so bad, I liked it a lot.

28. Naz and Maalik - The first half of the movie with the two leads just riffing is some pretty great stuff. The back half starts throwing plot developments that are just less than interesting.

29. My Best Friend

30. The Curiosity of Chance

31. Being 17 - Boring. Angsty.

32. And Then We Danced

33. Center of My World - Has some of the most trifling characters EVER. I was so angry. This movie for me has *0* rewatchability.

34. Just Friends

35. 4th Man Out - This movie was basically “a bro/Hangover-style movie, but for the gays.” I absolutely love the intention, but the execution was a little shoddy. One day we’re gonna get a flawless movie that nails what this movie was going for. I hope we remember this movie whenever that day comes.

36. Latter Days - So fucking preachy. 

37. GBF - Another bizarre one, but at least this movie gets how wacky it is.

38. Beach Rats

39. Shelter - I’ve noticed a lot of people like this one. To that I say...yikes. Remember that scene from Family Guy where Peter says he doesn’t care for The Godfather? I did not care for Shelter. It insists upon itself (not really, but still).

40. Handsome Devil

41. Esteros - It’s at this point of the list that we shift from “Movies that are the definition of ‘ight’ “ to “These movies are bad. Bad. BAAAAAD.”

42. Monster Pies

43. Were the World Mine - I couldn’t even finish it. Wanna watch a better musical? Go watch Kanarie. Wanna watch a better Shakespeare adaptation? The Lion King is the movie for you, or even fucking She’s the Man.

44. North Sea Texas - So boring. I actually think this one may need a rewatch, because I swear it shouldn’t have been as terrible as it was.

45. Salvation Army - I have no idea what this movie was going for. I understand that it is autobiographical, however...it simultaneously barely has any plot or character developments. This one has shades of Beach Rats, but it’s significantly worse, and I didn’t even like Beach Rats that much.

So that’s it, thanks if you made it down this far. I guess I’ll update the list as I inevitably watch more of these. I would love movie recommendations! 

[its-bound-to-get-loud]

If Walls Could Talk lyric analysis

I’ve been fascinated with If Walls Could Talk from the moment I started realizing what the lyrics said. I had to look them up, because it sounded a lot like a song about closeting to me. After reading the lyrics that thought was solidified in my brain. I’ve talked about it with @full-of-lonely-people (aka R) and she agreed with my ideas. Back in July, she actually wrote me an analysis. I read it and agreed with a lot, but somehow forgot about it after that (shame on me). Now that I’m working on an Ashton is not straight masterpost, the song came up again. I decided to write down some of my thoughts, but once I got into a flow it quickly became an analysis that needed to stand on its own. After showing R my analysis she brought the one she made in July back up. After taking a look at it, it quickly became clear to me that we shared a lot of the same thoughts and that we completed each other’s thoughts quit well. So I decided to add her parts as well, because I think it’s good to have multiple voices sharing their voices. That’s all for my intro, time to move on to the song.

First, let’s take a look at the description on the genius website about the meaning of the song:

“If Walls Could Talk” discusses the secrecy and intimacy of a relationship that is best kept private. This song is comparable to other 5SOS songs such as “English Love Affair” and “Greenlight” which also have suggestive lyrics.

“If Walls Could Talk” hints toward the romantic occurrences in the bedroom; the walls between rooms are the only thing to conceal the true events of a shared night, as well as witness them.

 It’s hard to see on the desktop website, but this is not an official description. These are submitted definitions. The only artist commentary the song has on genius is Ashton tweeting it’s one of his favorite songs of the album and everything the band said in the cocktail chats.

At first I figured that the song was probably about Muke. That was the obvious choice, since I already believed they aren’t straight. When I checked the writing credits I was surprised to see that the only 5SOS members credited are Ashton and Calum. Which sorts of excludes the possibility that it’s about Muke, unless Ashton and Calum wrote it about them. Which is not impossible, but it seems unlikely. As I’ve mentioned before, I do not believe in Cashton as a couple at this moment, so I don’t see this as a song about their relationship. I’m not entirely sure if I think Calum is straight or not. It’s not something I exclude. I just haven’t seen much evidence to back up any side to be fair. So this song could really be about either of their experiences.

In the cocktail chats all 5SOS members speak about the song from a musical point of view, but what stands out is that nobody speaks about the meaning of the song. So we have no official explanation about the song. Let’s take a look at some of the lyrics and how we interpret them.

“Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard” C: The song starts with the mention of secrets. This could be about a relationship that for whatever reason you prefer to keep a secret. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be about a relationship. In the chorus the narrator does say “we’d fall from grace”. But that we could also mean the band, it doesn’t have to be just 2 people.

So if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word C: This sounds like a very urgent call for someone else to keep it a secret. It sounds like it’s very important to the narrator to keep the secret. “Don’t say a word.”

R: I think maybe listening to the first lines instead of simply reading them takes away from how assertive they are – some things are meant to be secret almost implies that it's in their nature to be secret, and violating that is far heavier than simply spilling some secret; consequently, if I tell you just keep it, and don't say a word

Yeah, when the doors are all closing, it's bound to get loud C: Doors are closing, now this could be the doors to a bedroom. Loud could be a reference to activities in the bedroom. The doors could also be a reference to a closet. Closeting (for those who might not know) is a term used for hiding the fact that someone is not straight, either forced or by choice. If you look at the next line, loud doesn’t have to be sound or noise. It could also be considered loud in actions. Defying those who may inforce a closet on the narrator, by maybe making some references about not being straight.

'Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound C: Bodies can be taken literally as people, but if you look at it from a closeting point of view, bodies can also be skeletons. Having skeletons in your closet is a saying about there being something people don’t know about a person, having secrets perhaps. To quote Wikipedia: “Skeleton in the closet or skeleton in the cupboard is a colloquial phrase and idiom used to describe an undisclosed fact about someone which, if revealed, would damage perceptions of the person.”

I’d say the information that a 5SOS member is not straight could definitely be considered a skeleton in the closet. It can damage the perception fans have of the band or some of its members. While a lot of fans would probably be supportive if it turns out any of the 5SOS members are not straight, there could also be backlash from some people. The people on their team (management, people at their record label, etc.) could consider it damaging to the 5SOS image to have them open up about their sexuality and therefore force them to hide their sexuality. There’s always a possibility that whoever this is about has chosen to stay closeted voluntarily, but that’s something we can’t really know for certain.

R: On a first read it almost sounds like what is being described is some kind of party – once the doors close, you can turn the music up, and “cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound” could be a reference to the party goers. But given the context of the song, it seems more appropriate to interpret this in a metaphorical way: “when the doors are all closing” could be a metaphor for privacy – as in, “when every way to access my personal life is blocked”, hence why I find the “all” interesting; it would make less sense if it wasn't a metaphor. “It's bound to get loud” could be a reference to the fact that once you become more secretive, or more private, people tend to talk more, probe more for information. “Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound” could mean, sticking with the metaphor, a comment on how nowadays people become quite literally obsessed – addicted, you could say – with every bit of information they can get on others; interesting the use of “bodies” to indicate “people” - it almost strips them of their more “human” side. This, coupled with the first two verses, would suggest that it's not merely privacy we are talking about – it's things even deeper than that, not the simple, blanket right to privacy.

Pre-chorus: Oh, not everything is so primitive Oh, but I'm giving in

Primitive means something is in an early level of development or at the beginning of a process. A word related to it would be simple. It sounds like the narrator is either saying it’s not that simple to give up what he has going with someone, so he keeps giving in. Or it could mean that things are getting complicated because there’s pressure to hide to hide the secret, so he’s giving in to those who force him to keep the secret.

Then on to the chorus.

If these walls could talk, I'd hope they wouldn't say anything Because they've seen way too many things 'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling Yeah, we'd fall from grace

C: “If these walls could talk” is a pretty common saying which speaks for itself. If the walls could repeat what happened in a room there could be serious consequences. So if the narrator would be seen with a male partner or heard speaking to someone about their sexuality, this could have consequences for their image/career. They could “fall from grace” as the song describes. An important note to make is that the narrator is saying we would fall from grace. They’re not referencing just themselves. This could mean another person they are seeing. Or maybe even the band, because if one member of the band would come out/get outed that could have consequences for the whole band.

R: This song seems to alternate metaphors to very direct lyrics, such as these: “Not everything is so primitive, but I'm giving in” seems to describe a very specific situation, possibly the one that is meant to be secret, and not to be heard. The idea that “not everything is so primitive” almost suggests the need for a justification: the writer seems to be saying “most things aren't as primal as this, but this one thing is”, and it seems to recall the idea that “if these walls could talk, we'd fall from grace”: the writer might be justifying this that is, in fact, primitive, and that they're giving into it, but it's not everything, but they know that it would be enough to make them “fall from grace”. “Not everything” could be referring to “everything that is behind closed doors”, i.e. everything the writer wants to hide, that is not meant to be heard. “Not everything that I'm hiding is so primitive”. I think it's quite obvious this is referring to sex.

Let’s take a look at the 2nd verse.

I love your hair in your face I wouldn't dare let you down Don't let that glass go to waste Oh, you're a queen but uncrowned

C: This seems to talk about more stereotypical feminine things. Hair in your face reads like long hair, which is often associated with women. Although this could just as much be about a man. Queen is obviously a reference to a woman. One mention of a woman doesn’t just make this a song about a heterosexual relationship. Being closeted means you sexuality is a secret to most people. This means that a closeted songwriter will write songs referencing women even if the song isn’t about a woman.

The exact definition of this part is something I still struggle with a little. It seems to me like it’s appreciating the other person for who they are. An uncrowned king or queen is someone who is good at something, but who hasn’t had any sort of official acknowledgement for it, like a title or a crown. So this could be about keeping a relationship a secret. I want to be with you, but we can’t make it official to the outside world, because it would have consequences.

Uncrowned king/queen: A man or woman who is considered to be the best, the most famous, or the most powerful in a particular area of life, especially when they do not have an official rank or title.

R: The alternating between metaphors and direct lyrics becomes tighter: “I love your hair in your face”/”Don't let that glass go to waste” are very tangible situations; “I wouldn’t dare let you down”/”You're a queen but uncrowned” aren't referring to a specific situation, and are more metaphorical. The fact that this is how they should be paired could be underlined by how they rhyme. “I wouldn't dare let you down” could be a statement for the person “behind the walls” with the writer – so, out of metaphor, also meant to be kept a secret. It could also be a statement for the people on the other side of the wall – let's not forget the writer thinks that “if these walls could talk”, if their secret were to be let out, they “would fall from grace”, but it doesn't seem like the writer himself shares that sentiment: the writer doesn't think that what they're doing behind closed doors, as primitive as it might be, deserves to make them “fall from grace” - furthermore, one could argue no human being should even be seen in a position of “grace”. I lean towards this second explanation more because of how almost flippant the position of the verse makes this statement – which, by itself, could be a deep promise; however, once it's thrown in the middle, between “I love your hair in your face” and “Don't let that glass go to waste”, it loses value. Also, the addition of “dare” almost makes it sound like the writer is mocking this promise. “You're a queen, but uncrowned” probably alludes to the fact that whatever is kept secret, behind walls, loses some sort of shallow recognition because it is kept secret. “You are still a queen, but you haven't been crowned, you haven't received public recognition”.

C: I’m writing this after finishing my own analysis. Now that I’m reading R’s analysis there’s one specific thing that stands out to me, that I think is important to point out: “One could argue no human being should even be seen in a position of “grace”.” This feels so on brand for Ashton specifically. Just today I listened to him being interviewed for the podcast The Green Room with Neil Griffiths. On there he mentioned how he has trained himself to not see himself as “famous” or a “celebrity”, to keep himself grounded. Reading R’s words on the same day I heard Ashton speak about these things really blew me away. It further settles my belief that we seem to be on the right track with our analysis.

C: The bridge of the song repeats the lyrics of the first verse. Which I don’t think is a common thing in many songs. It seems to repeat, once again, that there is some sort of secret that the narrator is afraid that if it comes out, it could mess up a lot of things. Hammering down that this secret has to stay hidden.

This is our full analysis of If Walls Could Talk, I hope you found our takes interesting. Personally I’m very glad R brought up her theory again, because it fills in my gaps so nicely. If you have any suggestions or questions, feel free to send me an ask. Please keep in mind that this is just our personal interpretation, we are not stating this as fact. Lyrics often have a lot of meanings and ours may be part of that or not at all. A big thank you to R for writing and bringing up her analysis, I’m so glad we can share ideas back and forth.

Lyric source: genius

[negasonicimagines]

Want U Back ; “A Resounding Yes” (1)

h request: Does “could we get an ellie x reader fic?? doesn't matter what it is, we just miss you!!” count? I guess “!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?Could I request literally anything with angst and hurt/comfort!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?!!!!!?!?!!!!??!?!!?!?!!!!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!!?” fits, haha!

synopsis: Ellie knows she fucked up the second she sees Yukio’s lips on yours. She knows your relationship will never be the same, but can she still regain what she took for granted?

author’s note: hey! sorry for being the worst! Also, do you guys prefer the selectively-omniscient 2nd person POV, or the rigid 2nd person POV that sticks to the reader’s thoughts? I played with Yukio’s original backstory in this, let me know what you think! Just so y’all know, this is only divided up because it’s suuuuper long! I have more to write, but I still plan to finish it soon!

warnings: emotional cheating, break-up, unhealthy relationship (that gets fixed), angst, if there’s anything else let me know! Also, this isn’t really a trigger but this fic will explore a lot of Ellie’s flaws and features her being a Not Very Good Girlfriend in the beginning, so if you really don’t care for the idea of her being a sucky gf, you might wanna skip this one. Also, TROS spoilers

“What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?”

“You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish,” Yukio responds with a giggle. 

“Damn it!” Wade told you the joke that’s so bad it rounds back to good earlier, and the first person- after remembering Ellie would probably just glare at you, of course -you thought to tell was Yukio. 

“Wade told me that one, too,” she explains. 

“One of these days, I am going to beat him to a joke,” you declare, looking to the girl with a smile and cluelessly stealing her breath away.

Maybe she should give you a hint, she thinks. The two of you are close enough already, sitting together on the floor in her room making shrinky-dinks for earrings. She could just grab you and… 

Well, now she’s blushing, thinking of a lot more than just kissing you. 

“Hey, ‘Kio, did you hear me?” She didn’t respond to your next attempt, one of many this evening alone. 

“Hm?! Oh, no, I didn’t, sorry…”

“No worries,” you chirp, and after a few beats of silence, Yukio asks:

“Aren’t you gonna say what I missed?” 

“Oh, it was stupid, anyways.”

“No way,” Yukio argues. “Go ahead.”

“What do you call a donkey with a million eyes and a million legs?”

“Ooh, I haven’t heard this one. What?” The genuine curiosity; the hope for a clever answer… It’s a little too much to take without letting out even a snort, but you manage.

“A monster,” you say, in your most deadpan expression possible, which happens to be a stupid grin at Yukio’s chuckling.

The smile fades, but not completely- never completely, not when you’re around -before she leans in, just a little. But, you know what she wants. A part of you wants it, too. 

You put a finger to her lips, gently stopping her.

“I- I haven’t broken up with her, yet.”

“Yet?”

“You and I have been getting a lot more close. Even closer than before, which I didn’t even realize was possible, but too close for me to have a girlfriend who doesn’t know about it. And I… If I’m choosing, I’m choosing you. I should have before.”

“Before? Y/N, one of my favorite things about you is that you usually aren’t this vague,” Yukio remarks, and you scoff. 

“Can you blame me for being a bit nervous to confess that I’ve liked you as more than a friend for a long time? Like, ‘the only reason I even ended up with Ellie was because I really like both of you and she asked first’-a long time?”

“Not at all,” Yukio admits. “It’s getting kinda late, maybe you should head back… Do you want me to walk with you?”

“I’d rather she didn’t blow up on both of us,” you admit. Yukio’s your official roommate, but the potential for Ellie to level the house in her sleep has perks, including her own room. You sleep there, and your bed in Yukio’s room has been replaced with a futon. Guess it’s time to pack your bags. Should you start doing that before or after you tell her you’re leaving her for her other best friend?

“You’re doing it tonight?” She wonders, surprised as you scoop up the scrap plastic and throw it away. She picks up the scissors, and colored pencils while you put your markers back in their case. Tomorrow, the two of you can heat up your creations. 

“You’ve emboldened me… You usually do,” you tell her. She makes you feel like an equal when you’re together, and since she’s pretty damn great, your self-esteem gets quite the boost. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Yukio replies, blushing. 

“I sure hope not,” you tell her in lieu of a goodbye, and once the door is shut behind you, Yukio squeals in delight. 

As you head to Ellie’s room, the nervousness in your stomach starts to boil. You knock. 

“Y/N?” she questions. 

“Yeah.”

“Come in.” 

You enter awkwardly, but she doesn’t seem to notice the way you fiddle with the door to make sure it closes perfectly quiet, after that one time she got onto you for closing it too loudly. 

“Why do you even knock, anyway?”

“Just wanna respect your privacy. It’s your room.”

“I’d say it’s yours, too, but you don’t really spend a lot of time here anymore.”

“Never thought I’d see the day you were passive-aggressive,” you remark. Normally something like that would be teasing, but now it just feels biting, to both of you.

“I guess you could say love changed me,” Ellie retorts. Love. As if she loved you. The only sign she might is when she mumbles the words back to you. She never says it first, never holds you without you asking, only really kisses you when she wants to-

“I was just hanging out with Yukio,” you admit, snapping out of it. 

“Maybe she should be your girlfriend instead, since you like spending so much time with her.”

You know she’s probably just hurt, or jealous, or… Well, that’s irrelevant. It’d be a fair criticism if she wasn’t such a bitch about it. 

You take your chance: “Maybe she should.” 

And then you grab your go bag from the closet, as well as your other suitcases, the ones you used to move your things here in the first place. You start packing.

“Wait, what? What the fuck are you doing?”

“I said, ‘Maybe she should.’ As in, maybe this relationship has run its course and I’m better off with someone else.”

Ellie blinks. That’s a first, she usually doesn’t allow herself to be phased by the things you or anyone else says. 

“Well, let me clarify for you. That maybe is a resounding fucking ‘yes,’” she retaliates. Ah, that’s what it was. She wasn’t bothered in the least, she just needed time to come up with a good comeback. That’s your Ellie… Well, not anymore. 

It feels like it takes longer than it does, but eventually your things are all tucked away in your bags. 

“You’re not gonna take Gerard?”

“Why would I? You got him for me,” you tell her in lieu of a goodbye, heading back to Yukio’s. 

She opens the door before you even knock, but seems surprised to see you there. 

“I was worried she might try to chase you down,” she explains before you even ask, ushering you in. She takes your bags and sets them down on the futon. 

“As if she’d ever fight for me,” you assure her, but it just puts a frown on her face. She’s already wearing pajamas, so you figure you should change into yours. 

You swiftly do so, not even bothering to tuck yourself away in the bathroom. After all, the two of you have changed in front of each other countless times. 

Yukio’s stunned expression implies this time might be a little bit different, though. You can’t help the twitch of a smirk that graces your lips before you do head to the bathroom, taking the contents of one of the external pockets of your suitcases with you and completing your nighttime routine. 

“Can I kiss you, now?” Yukio asks as soon as you reach her. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, and she asks the question like she’s asked it a million times and you’ve said no to every single request. You realize that maybe she has asked, in some subtle ways. A hand on yours to comfort you, a longing look in her eyes when you turn away… Maybe she’s been asking you to kiss her all this time, and you just didn’t see it. 

That maybe is a resounding fucking yes, you remember Ellie’s words from before.  

You lower yourself and press your lips to hers. She freezes in surprise before responding, tangling her fingers into your hair and you can feel in every motion how badly she wants this, wants you, like no one ever has, or at least not in a way they’ve communicated. Yukio kisses you like she loves you; she loves you. You smile into the kiss and she pulls away to see it, to see you.  “Wow…” you both sigh, before giggling. 

“Are you sure this isn’t too soon?” Yukio wonders. The fact that she cares to ask is enough to send the butterflies already in your stomach into a fluttering frenzy.  

“You of all people should know that relationship was over before I went to that room this evening,” you remind her. “That this one started before I kissed you, even.” 

You do feel a bit guilty about that part, but it just… Happened. Yukio was there when Ellie stopped being there, bored of you but unsure how to say it, you’re sure. 

Yukio nods, kissing you this time. It’s gentle, she’s gentle, but it’s still loaded with all the feelings you’ve been too ashamed to express these past few weeks.Yes, all of them. You pull away while you can still stop yourself, and nearly topple over with nerves. Yukio pulls you onto the bed before turning the lamp on and afterwards clapping to turn the lights off. 

“That’s new,” you note, still a bit breathless. “Hope you don’t mind me being a tease, but it is a little too soon for that.”

“You’re not a tease. We did what we were both comfortable with. If you’re not ready, neither of us are. Did you and Ellie ever…?”

“Oh, um, yeah. A lot.”

“Right, I guess I should’ve figured that out when you stopped complaining about being a virgin,” Yukio chuckles. 

“So, now we just… Sleep?” You wonder.

“I guess so, but…” The two of you meet eyes. Despite the agreement that you shouldn’t go farther than kissing, there’s still excitement buzzing in the air from the “new” relationship. 

“You can go ahead and transform, if you want. Might help you get in a sleepy mood.”

“Transf-? Oh, right… I don’t really do that anymore, not when I’m sleeping.”

“Why not? You told me it makes you feel safer.”

“Takes up too much space on the bed,” you mumble. “Plus, what if I accidentally claw something up in my sleep?”

“Did- Did Ellie say those things to you?”

Yukio is a sweet girl, but not nearly as bubbly and innocent as she pretends to be. There’s a dark side to her, one just like yours. 

“Yeah, but… You’re probably taking it a lot more serious than she meant it. She’s not like us, Yukes. She has normal parents, went to a normal school before all this. Doesn’t understand.”

“Doesn’t try to,” Yukio complains. “Would it help if I said it makes me feel safer?”

You give a noiseless chuckle. 

“I mean it. Think about it, wouldn’t you feel safer with a guard leopard sleeping next to you? A mamushi curled around your arm ready to strike any intruder?”

“I guess you’re right. Couldn’t you just Rey Palpatine the shit out of anyone who tries to attack us, though?”

“Remind me of that travesty of a movie again and you’ll have to worry about being Rey Palpatine’d yourself. But, uh, yeah, of course I’m right. And Ellie’s more of an idiot than I thought she was,” Yukio says, and you can see her adorably smug smile shining bright in the moonlight. 

“Hey! She’s still our friend!” 

“Yeah, once she gets over me stealing you,” your new- oh, wait, you should probably ask what you are, you realize -remarks.

“Something tells me you’ll figure out soon that there isn’t much to get over. Uh… What are we, now?”

“I’d be honored to call you my girlfriend,” Yukio tells you. “Now, will you please transform into a cute creature for me to cuddle?”

“Didn’t think you were this much of an animal-lover, Yuks,” you remark. 

“I’m a you-lo…” She trails off, realizing what she was saying. “-ver.”

You slip under the covers to strip back down, afterwards beginning the transition. You feel your hands shift into paws, feel even the barely visible hairs on your skin thicken and darken as the features of your face shift and contort into something else entirely. You pop your head back up and Yukio laughs, smoothing the ruffled fur on your head and face. 

“You are so beautiful,” she tells you. You’d thank her, but it’s a waste of energy. You were taught how to push your thoughts into the minds of others like speech by some of the most powerful telepaths ever, but as you have no more psychic energy than even a non-mutant, it’s tiring to use that ability; therefore, any other form of communication is preferable.

You choose to nuzzle her hand, and she’s grinning ear to ear. It’s not every day she gets a real-life teddy bear, well, before now. You’d be happy to do this every day, though you might get bored of the bear aspect.

Yukio bear-hugs your neck, pulling you close. You really do feel more relaxed, tired from the transformation and comforted by her embrace. You give a low grumble, nervous to fall asleep on top of her, even a little bit. She looks inquisitive before seeing your point and releasing you so that you can lay back. You turn over, and she spoons you, nuzzling her cheek against your new fur. 

Your eyes slip shut, and your breathing slows to match hers as the two of you fall asleep.

[mysterylover123]

Does Bones have a BKDK ‘agenda’?

mysterylover123 

The speculation I’ve seen so far about why Bones cut the flashback from the TodoBaku scenes in Chapter 164/Episode 79 is because they were ‘so preoccupied with BKDK in the new movie that they forgot about Bakugou’s development with Todoroki”. Which does raise the question, does Bones indeed have a BKDK shipping agenda of some kind?

The idea of an anime studio preferring a pairing and adding in tons of extra material to bias fans towards it is an absolutely founded suspicion. Clamp putting out official homoerotic art of Suzaku/Lelouch, that foot wash scene Madhouse added to Death Note between L and Light, Pierrot pretty obviously liking SasuNaru and Naruhina and throwing in tons of extra material for both; Studios do do this. They prefer certain pairings and they play them up. So does Bones have a BKDK agenda? 

The answer I’ve found on examination is a resounding “YES”, but Ive preserved my ‘let’s find out’ tone of writing for the rest of the examination.

Well, let’s start with the OPs and EDs, the first original contributions Bones was able to make in the adaptation. “The Day” does indeed have a long sequence focusing on them, but it’s not unreasonable given the content of S1. “Peace Sign” doesn’t include anything in particular, nor do ED1 or 2. ED 3, “Sora Ni Utaeba”, does have a scene of Kacchan meditating about Deku and getting mad, then blasting towards him at the end and the match-cut with his eye. But this is pretty minor, and fits episode 2.24. ED3, “Datte Atashi No Hero”, is the first time an OP or ED appears to have an agenda of shipping these two, hardcore. LiSa’s song is, according to her, about their relationship, and the Fantasy AU ending has the mutual understanding shot at the end. But it also has smiling prince Shoto, Dragon Kiri and Uraraka greeting Deku, so other ships get a nod too.

“Odd Future” has very little, though one could interpret the snow behind Deku as meaning something romantic. “Update” does include the lines ‘love’ over and over again in the final shot where they stand together watching the stars, but others are there as well, like Shoto and Ochako. Aside from the symbolism of DVK2 in OP5, the rest of S3’s ops are pretty light on BKDK, as was Polaris and ED6, and our current OP too. However, ED7 did have those mirror shots of them brooding in bed, and growing up.

So yes, the OPs and EDs do have a lot of emphasized shots between them. But nothing too crazy. Let’s get into Filler, movies and changes to episodes now.

Season 1 features no filler and no overt tweaks to any episodes; the only bit of added on BKDK I can think of is Deku blushing as a kid during the flashbacks in DVK part 1. Nothing too dramatic in Season 2 either, as the filler ep is about Tsu and nothing is particularly altered from the manga, besides throwing in the Kabe-Don in Katsuki Bakugo Origin. OK, that’s a big besides, given the sexual implications of that in anime culture. Season 3’s filler ep has Bakugo challenging Deku to a swimming contest, but there’s also a bit of TodoDeku and KiriBaku and IiDeku extra teasing there, so again, nothing like a pure bKDK-based agenda.

The 2nd filler ep of S3 has a little BKDK, as does the film, but nothing overt. The film has a bit of KiriBaku agenda, given all their scenes together, and throws in extra TodoBaku (the first bit of extra TodoBaku, alongside Episode 58, that they tossed our way). S4 gave us Deku’s soft smile at Kacchan’s antics, and contemplating on the retake arc last ep, indicating that Bones is indeed including little nods. And now there’s Heroes Rising, though that one was Hori’s idea.

My theory is that Bones does kinda like the ship, but that they have started including more and more BKDK because of how popular it’s getting. Winning the Tokyo Tower contest for the film, the 12,000+ fanfics, the unceasing winners of the Popularity Polls….my guess is Bones knows how popular BKDK is, so they’re adding in more fan service of it. But they were adding in little bits since Season 1 (The cherry blossoms, the smol Deku blush), so saying they have a bit of a BKDK agenda might…not be inaccurate. They do throw in a bit of Fanservice for other ships too, like Izuocha, KiriBaku, Tododeku, and even TodoBaku a little.

But aside from the popularity of BKDK…I think it’s also the key relationship of the series. Everything at it’s core is about them, they’re the main characters and the main focus, so it doesn’t seem too silly to slip in lots of them. But they’ve never had trouble tantalizing other pairings before this, even if they always added more to BKDK than the others. So I don’t think they cut TodoBaku’s scene just because they like another pairing better. I mean, that wouldn’t make much sense anyway.

But that is what started this discussion, so now we come to the real main question. Is Bones downplaying TodoBaku for BKDK? Certainly, BKDK is the only platonic pairing in canon that they’ve slipped quasi-romantic fanservice into in the anime (the blush, the cherry blossoms, the kabe-don, all things that have more romantic implications than anything done with Tododeku or Kiribaku). This needs another closer look.

In Season 1, Bones doesn’t especially play up Todoroki, or his future significance. No extra glances that aren’t in the manga, no closeup shots on him when he’s not the subject of a scene, etc. S1 is pretty much a straightforward adaptation of Chapters 1-21, no filler added, no noticeable agenda either way. In S2, that remains the truth for most of the season. I did notice that Bones makes some small changes in season 2 to the framing on Bakugou in a few scenes, like In Episode 25 where he’s made to look especially menacing Pre-last match, or Episode 27 where Jeanist physically restrains him (not in the manga). I’m not sure what agenda that might push, if any, as far as the ships go.

The season added in a scene of Bakugou tutoring Kirishima, which is in one of the Light novels and not the manga. They also, of course, as I mentioned above, added in the Kabe-don in Katsuki Bakugo Origin, as well as that entire alleyway sequence. The filler episode has a small scene between Deku and Todoroki that could be read as shippy. But yes, in S2, Bones doesn’t add in any extra, non-manga Todobaku.

The drama CDs and Smash, interestingly enough, do. Neither seems to have a lot of Todo/Deku, but they sure like slipping in TodoBaku subtext. There’s 2 drama CDs where they get stuck together by villains who want to scandalize them with compromising photographs, and multiple Smash comics joking about how their heated interactions come off as sexual tension. Of course, Smash has fanservice for pretty much every ship at some point.

In S3′s filler ep, Bakugo does yell at Todoroki “you too” after challenging Deku. It’s pretty minor, but it’s new stuff. Everything for the rest of the Training Camp arc is manga-canon and straightforward, as is the hideout raid. No real playing up of any one pairing over the other. The PLE arc adds in some filler that does seem to be hinting at a slight Todo/Momo agenda, since it has her wonder ‘what would Todoroki do’?, and indeed if Bones has a Shoto Ship leaning in any direction, it’s probably that one. But nothing extra added to BKDK or Todobaku that wasn’t in the manga already.

Episode 58 and the movie, however, do add in TodoBaku scenes. Their same usual dynamic from before, of course. Bones seems to see TodoBaku as essentially, how a lot of the fans see them: Bakugou antagonizing Shoto and Shoto’s reaction being an unbrideled ‘meh’. They do depict them working together in the film, and having a secret grin - though that grin has to do with BKDK a little. In context, Baku is being soft that Deku and All Might won, Shoto sees it, and smirks, making him tsun-tsun. 

S4 did add an extra scene in Filler ep 3 where they talk about their future plans. There’s an adjusted reaction from Deku in the next ep, where he smiles fondly at Katsuki. The new OP also doesn’t show Todoroki and Bakugou together, alone in any of the shots of them; they’re always separate, brooding about their own problems, when this OP could’ve been a good time to show them together.  Outside of crowd shots, they don’t share the screen.

So yes, all in all, the conspiracy theory idea might not be so far off. Bones definitely does include little nods to BKDK that make it even shippier, and does seem to be downplaying TodoBaku a bit, at least more so than the Drama CDs. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, since at least unlike Naru/Hina vs Naru/saku, it’s unlikely to actually influence the series’ content - there is no actual love triangle here to be played up or played down, just fanon ships. Still, it is noteable.

[ohwereusingourmadeupnames]

Young starker going skinny-dipping for the prompt thingy :)

I Don’t Really Like Myself Without You

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark  Rating: Mature (M) Word Count: 4.3k Notes: I had a lot of fun with this one - it was cool to put them in a background that has lots of room to be explored.  Warnings: They’re both 17, so there’s that. Also pool nakedness and a little bit of NSFW stuff.  Summary: 

Peter and Tony grew up playing baseball together and were good friends until going to different schools got in the way of that. Buying into the rivalry was well and good until pesky feelings come into play. 

do the thing, send in all the prompts 

Peter had an interesting history with Tony Stark. Growing up, they went to elementary school together – much like Peter, Tony was a brain and got to be in all of the gifted and talented classes. When Peter skipped from 2nd to 4th grade, he wasn’t surprised to see Tony right there with him.

At that point in their lives, they got along great – Peter and Tony played selects baseball together and spent many summer weekends huddled into one of their teammate’s hotel rooms watching whatever game they could find. Since selects brought in people from a few different towns, Peter was always grateful to have Tony around – at least he knew someone and had a familiar face to look to in those nerve-wracking social situations.

Middle school brought the divide between them and turned their relationship into something a little more – unusual. Since Springfield was so spread out, two middle and high schools catered to either side of the town. During the school year, Peter went to North Springfield and Tony went to South. As expected, the schools were rivals and the divide between them was very apparent in the way the two sets of students interacted with each other.

When they played against each other in school, it was all about being better than the other. Tony, in his coveted catcher position, taunted him behind the plate – he cat-called and talked about all of the shitty strikeouts he’d been around to see in Peter’s early playing years. In return, Peter threw all of the pitches he knew that Tony couldn’t hit – especially the curveball that just barely kissed the edge of the plate; Tony swung and missed it. Every. Time.

During the summer, however, it was like no barrier existed between them. There were practices every day of the week and they spent their weekends in hotels playing in tournaments and traveling around their little section of Pennsylvania and the surrounding states. It was easy to fall back into the pattern of being best friends and enjoying the game they’d grown up spending every second of their lives talking about and playing. Tony framed his pitches the best and always had a calming effect on him right before he stepped to the plate.

Their relationship existed on two planes and for the longest time – it worked.

Until it didn’t. The older they got, the harder it was to keep up the façade of not being friendly. With absolutely no surprise at all, Peter fell into a deep sort of love with Tony during their summers together. The friendship between them seemed more than that – especially after the last summer that they spent making out with each other every chance they got and admittedly not thinking about baseball; that was an astounding first for them both.

Heading into the summer before his senior year, Peter was more than ready to finally make things official between himself and Tony. Hometown rivalries be damned – they’d been beating around the bush with each other the entire year. Peter never felt so frustrated by text messages and the very rare times they were able to meet up with each other. The mythical reputation thing that was stopping them in the first place wasn’t worth missing out on each other – Peter was more than sure of that.

It didn’t happen as easily as he imagined it would, however. It took the usual couple of weeks to get back into the routine of playing ball with someone that was an “enemy” for so much of their recent playing time. The comfortability inevitability came back around and sunk into the game – Peter probably hadn’t ever pitched better in his entire career. Things with him and Tony, however – they were still in a hesitant sort of stage.

Peter remembered the text message conversation before the first select team practice – he’d been so excited to finally get out of the stuffy North Springfield High uniform and step into the Panther’s jersey he’d been sporting since he was 8 years old. Tony was too, but a little hesitant about expressing it. In the last couple of years, Peter noticed Tony’s reservations and wondered the part of his life that he was missing out on to recognize where they came from. He figured once they were face to face, Tony would loosen up.

To Peter’s dismay, the first travel trip came and went without the clutch of hands and desperate kisses he’d been expecting. They spent a lot of time together and exchanged the hungriest of looks, but there was something stopping them. For the first time, there was an air of acceptance that hadn’t existed before – it made the anticipation for whatever the inevitable ice breaker was that much heavier; almost enough to choke Peter out.

The week leading up to the next trip was too busy to fret about what he and Tony were doing – the team was heading to a college showcase that several of them were hoping to be seen at. Peter and Tony were both contacted by University of Arizona’s program; scouts would be in the stands getting a nice thorough look at the 5-day, 8 game series they were about to embark upon.

A couple of days later, Peter kissed May on the cheek and hopped in the car with Maria and Tony – they’d be getting on the bus with the rest of the team in a few minutes with Tony’s mom following behind in her car. His aunt and Tony’s mom switched off trips and provided the parental guidance every other baseball excursion. Maria gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek and asked him everything she could fit in the 20-minute time span it took them to get to the bus drop off point.

Every so often, he’d meet Tony’s eyes in the rearview mirror and return the shy grin he always found on plump lips. Peter remembered the way they felt against his own and looked away when Tony recognized the blush on his cheeks. That was a start – at least Tony was actually acknowledge the flirtatious energy between them.

Getting onto the bus, Peter walked straight to the back of the bus to take the seat closest to the window on the right side of the aisle. For the past 2 summers, they got to claim the back-seat honors and it felt amazing – being one of the big dogs had its benefits. Tony sat down on the seat next to him and hefted his bag under the seat in front of him. When he sat back up, he had his AirPods in his hand, the left one being extended in Peter’s direction a couple of seconds later.

“What do you have this time?” Peter asked, his fingers slipping the headphone into his ear. He adjusted the way he was sitting in the seat and relaxed back. They were close enough together for their thighs and shoulders to brush – the tease of the caress almost enough for Peter to say, ‘fuck it’ and take Tony’s lips with his own right there on the spot.

Tony letting his hand slip between their pressed together thighs pulled a gasp from him – his leg shifting into the touch in hopes of prolonging the contact. Peter felt the backs of Tony’s fingers press into the bare skin exposed by his shorts hiking up ever so slightly. Settling more firmly into the chair, Peter was as against Tony he could be while still sitting in his own chair.

Peter cleared his throat and turned his head to look at Tony, the molten heat he saw there surprising and hot – so hot, in fact, he had to clench his free hand into a fist to stop it from reaching over and fisting into the front of Tony’s shirt. His tongue poked out to run along the seam of his lips, the surface of his skin there suddenly dry. The satisfaction he got from watching Tony not look away once gave him just enough control to sit there and play whatever this game actually was.

“I thought we could try and make it through Bowie’s Heroes album on the way up and then Young Americans on the way back. I know you said you weren’t the biggest fan when I brought him up last time, but I really think this will change your mind,” Tony said after a while, the sizzle still there between them, just not at the busting point like before. He turned on the music right around the time the bus rolled out of the parking lot and Pete let himself get lost in the music.

About halfway there, they stopped at a gas station to refuel and pick up snacks for the hotel stay. They went with Maria the day before to get their own stockpile, so Peter snagged a Gatorade and a Snickers and made his way back onto the bus. Tony was already sitting in their seats and instead of getting up, he flicked his eyes to Peter’s in a soft of challenge.

Looking around, Peter didn’t see any of their team mates anywhere in sight – so, he gripped the bag in his hand tightly and climbed over Tony’s thick thighs; the years of baseball were evident in the density of the muscle he felt there. Bravely, he let his leg linger a little longer than necessary before hiking himself up and turning until he could sit in his seat by the window. Letting out a long breath, Peter took a second to collect himself before looking back at Tony, his eyebrow arched.

Footsteps coming down the aisle stopped Peter from reaching over and grabbing the back of Tony’s neck so he could finally kiss him. Biting into his bottom lip, Peter wordlessly grabbed the headphone Tony handed him. He didn’t miss the shit eating grin on Tony’s face, either. It seemed as if the shy act was over; Tony sent the signals out and Peter was more than ready to finally return them.

----

The bus dropped them off right at the field – their first game was a couple hours later and the short span of field time they got before up pre-game minutes was already ticking down. Peter warmed up his shoulder and threw a few pitches from the mound to get used to it. The rubber strips were different everywhere they played – he felt the need to grab some comfortability before getting up and working his magic.

When Tony stood up and pulled his mask off, Peter took a deep breath and tried not to moan – he hoped he’d be able to focus later when the other was in the tight gray pants of the night’s uniform. He sent him a shy smile and grabbed the ball when Tony chucked it his way. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but keep it up – pitching like that is going to win us some games, Petey,” Tony muttered lowly, the smear of dirt on his cheek from his mask almost enough to distract Peter from the kind words coming out of his mouth.  

Getting close enough, Peter bumped his shoulder against Tony’s, the hard parts of the catcher’s vest for some reason grounding. “Thanks, T – I’m feeling good right now. There’s something in the air.” Peter shot him a smirk and took a couple of steps in front of him. He turned until he was walking backwards to keep Tony in his sight. “We’ll celebrate when we win later.”

Peter felt the blush rush over his cheeks when he turned himself around and started walking forward again. That was the most forward he’d ever been – and it was perfectly clear to see that Tony understood his meaning. The smooth brown eyes he’d come to really appreciate were washed away with a deep black Peter knew to be excitement and arousal. For the first time in his entire baseball career, Peter already wanted the game to be over – the endgame waiting for him was more enticing.

Luckily, the game went off without a hitch. By the sixth and final inning when he felt his shoulder starting to get to its breaking point, Tony turned to the umpire and called a quick time out. Watching him approach, Peter felt himself take a calming breath – their eyes caught a couple of steps before Tony was within a respectable talking distance. “Need me to call it, Pete?” Tony asked outright, his glove covering his mouth so no one else could see what they were saying.

It took him a second to process the question, Peter felt the exhaustion of the day weighing his thoughts down, making them harder to get from point A to point B. “I think I’ve got it in me. Give me one more batter – I’ll hand it over if I can’t get it under control.” Peter looked at him with pleading eyes and let out a harsh breath when Tony nodded.

“I trust you. Send one right down the pipe on this first pitch back. This guy sits on his back foot too much – it’ll catch him off guard.” Tony pressed the lip of his glove against Peter’s chest and let a slow smile spread across his cheeks. “Let’s finish it.”

Tony’s presence and the slightest boost of confidence his last words gave him pushed him through the last out – he hobbled off the mound with a huge smile and another win in his pocket. The catcher’s glove that landed on his sore shoulder brought Tony right against his side – the smell of dirt and sweat making Peter’s heart rate pick up. “Knew you could pull it out, Parker,” Tony said softly, his eye crinkling with the wink he sent in Peter’s direction. “What’s on your mind for a celebration later?”

They were in the dugout by the time the question rolled off Tony’s tongue, so Peter took his time putting his glove in his bag and taking off his cleats before answering. There were several things he had in mind – many of the consisting of a very naked Tony Stark against him. However, he wasn’t able to get those words out – the virgin-ness of his tongue wreaking havoc on the many wants he could obviously see being fulfilled.

“Late night dip in the pool for old time’s sake, probably,” Peter answered finally, his brain running wild with the idea of a wet Tony within arm’s reach. Even if he didn’t get around to getting Tony’s pants off, he’d be happy to have the vision of this Tony, the one with a bit of facial hair and long messy locks, wet and smiling.

Without hesitation, Tony nodded, looking pleased. “Maria mentioned that they have a really nice outdoor pool and hot tub. Might be able to just sneak through the fence,” Tony replied, his hands busy putting the multitude of catcher’s gear into the big bag he lugged around. Peter zipped his own bag and went about helping Tony – their hands brushing with every piece he handed off.

The energy on the bus on their way back to the hotel was electric – it always felt nice to start off a long game streak with a win. Each of them knew that this would be the only real time to enjoy the hype – they played two games the next day and unfortunately landed in the back to back slot right in the dead of the afternoon. Coulson already told them that he wanted them in their rooms before 10:30PM. He threatened room checks, but the lull of red wine at the hotel bar always stopped him from following through.

Team dinner consisted of total silence while they all piled food into their mouth’s. The warm Italian food hit a certain spot after a long time out in the hot summer sun. Maria passed out push pop ice creams before everyone headed back to their rooms. Tony dug an elbow into his side and flashed the two extra red ones he managed to procure. Looking in Maria’s direction, she shot him a wink and nodded towards the door.

Despite not having a great relationship with is dad, Peter knew that Tony loved the hell out of his mom. She’d been the only one to support his love of baseball and seemed to understand him like no one else did – well, besides Peter. They’d spent too much time together over the years to not be familiar with each other; good and bad sides included.

In an attempt to cut down on the tension that continued to bubble between them, Peter pulled Tony into his arms when the door clicked shut behind them as they entered their room. Knowing Maria, she’d be at least another 20 minutes, the perfect time period to press Tony up against the door and devour his lips. He used the grip he had on the thick muscle surrounding Tony’s hip to guide him back until he was trapped between Peter and the heavy wood.

Tony met him halfway in a hot kiss – their lips slotted together and rode the wave of exploration. Every gasp and moan they pulled out of one another brought a certain depth to the kiss. Peter let Tony trace his tongue around the roof of his mouth, the warm touch the slightest bit ticklish. He tangled his own tongue with Tony’s when the desire became too much. The taste of tomato and Coke were alive in the exchange, Peter happy to categorize every flavor if he were able.

The inevitable click of the door trying to unlock had them separating – Peter retreated into the bathroom to tuck the stiffness in his pants into the waistband of his boxer briefs to at least be presentable in front of Tony’s mom. Catching his reflection in the mirror, Peter blew out a huff of breath; he looked absolutely wrecked, the flush of his cheeks just the start of the problem. He ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times before deeming it a lost cause and walking back into the room.

If anything were amiss, it was apparent. Maria patted him on the shoulder and took his place in the bathroom. Tony shot a look his way – the glance filled with amusement and gratefulness; despite how accepting she was, the last thing either of them wanted was for Maria to walk in on them doing – well, just about anything.

Settling onto the bed they were sharing, Peter flipped through the channels until he found The Dark Knight – he leaned against the headboard and let a grin slip across his face when Tony moved into his personal space and rested against him. It didn’t look like they were trying to play it completely cool – and Peter couldn’t say that he wasn’t glad.

----

It took a solid 90 minutes for either of them to feel comfortable sneaking out the door with a sleeping Maria right by it. It was 11:30 by the time they were down on the ground floor, tiptoeing towards the pool’s fence. Trying the door, Peter let out a laugh when it opened without much of a tug at all. He herded Tony in and tried to be as quiet as he could shutting the gate. Grabbing Tony’s hand when he felt secure, Peter pulled him until they were close to the edge of the shallow end.

“Any qualms with doing this without clothes?” Peter questioned, his hands already moving to pull the tank top he put on earlier off, his fingers letting it go, the fabric landing in a heap on the ground. It was risky to even think about, but Peter was hungry and if he didn’t get his hands on Tony soon, he might actually starve. A hand on his chin forced him to look up, his eyes immediately caught by Tony’s.

“Just take your pants off, Pete,” Tony said, his eyes once again completely taken over by the darkness of his dilated pupil – the hunger there apparent and clearly contagious. His cock shifted in his pants with each lick of Tony’s words across the surface of his skin. It didn’t take any mental prodding to get his hands to the front of the shorts he pulled out of his bag to act as trunks for the evening.

Before he could think himself out of it, Peter dropped them from his hips and walked to the stairs that led directly into the water. He walked lightly until he was submerged up to his hips – the distortion of the water somehow making his nakedness more apparent.

Tony wasn’t nearly as quick about it – the black swim trunks Peter recognized from the summer before hit the ground, the fabric colliding with the concrete audible in the stillness around them. He waited until Peter’s eyes roamed across his skin and settled on his own before starting towards the water. The whole thing made Peter’s skin tighten, his cock stiffening with every step Tony took.

Eventually, Peter was pinned between Tony’s arms on either side of him - the side of the pool cool against his back. Just their lower halves were submerged completely in the water. Peter watched some of the rivulets of water on Tony’s skin drip down his neck and long muscly arms, his tongue darting out as he imagined tracing its path with his it. 

“I don’t want to pretend to hate you anymore. Is that okay?” Peter mumbled when Tony moved to narrow the space down between them. His hands wrapped around Tony’s middle to help with the closeness – the bump of their cocks against each other a delightful extra. “I want you, Tony.” He reiterated that fact by using his grip to pull them closer still.

Peter could feel the pulse of Tony’s cock against his own before liquid fire engulfed his mouth and spread from there down. He got his nose out of the way and deepened the kiss – the muscles of Tony’s arms framing his head tightening with every brush of their tongues against each other.

It was a little desperate, the way they attacked the connection that was finally being completely acknowledged between them – Tony chased his lips every time Peter tried to pull away to suck in a breath. The collective of it was too much - all the things Peter thought to want all wrapped up in a Tony sized packaged. Eventually, he couldn’t stand the burn of his chest and pulled away completely – the dazed look on Tony’s face was worth the desperate little sound he made.

Though he needed to take a break, his hips didn’t – Tony set a pretty decent rhythm in the roll of his hips and Peter thrust up against him to keep the contact. Peter let his head rest against the edge of the pool and his hands wander up and down the length of Tony’s back; the muscles there pulling and flexing with every move of his hips.

Tony’s lips came to rest on the soft skin of his ear, his forehead pressed against the edge of the pool, too – the move bringing them impossibly closer. “I don’t want to act like you’re not the person I’ve been in love with since we were kids,” Tony whispered against the shell of Peter’s ear, the answer to his question more than he ever thought he’d get.

Nudging with his head, Peter got Tony to pull back enough so they could see each other again – he knew that the other could feel the increased beat of his heart against his chest, but he wanted to make sure he saw it, too. “Same, Tony – let me love you, instead,” Peter uttered, his lips already making quick work of taking their place against Tony’s.

There wasn’t any more talking after that, Peter dropped his left hand between them and grasped their lengths between the circle of his thumb and fingers. Tony cupped Peter’s cheek and used the touch as leverage to move his hips a little more thoroughly. 

Between the panted kisses and fumbled strokes, Peter hit the peak of the best orgasm he’d ever experienced with Tony shuttering against him. The sharpness of Tony’s teeth dug into his bottom lip and pulled another round of orgasmic shudders through him. He loosened his fingers, a whimper slipping from his lips when the warmth of Tony’s cock left him.

----

They ended up splashing around for a while more after coming down and finding the ability to move limbs in tandem again. Peter enjoyed every moment of Tony trying to dunk him and the retaliation he got when he’d pull his ankle and brought him under. The shared kisses between huffed out laughs and water splashes in the face made the disappointed face of Maria they walked into the room to a little while later totally worth it.

She must’ve been tired because she didn’t stay awake long enough to admonish them with whatever lashing they totally deserved. Peter took advantage of her back to them to pull Tony into the bathroom with him – the shower stall more than big enough to accommodate the two of them. It was quick business, but Peter enjoyed every single second of it.

The next morning, Peter felt a firm hand on his shoulder shaking him awake. “It’s time to wake up, you two,” Maria said loudly, her ‘no shit’ voice easily recognizable.

Blinking to wake up a little bit more, Peter noticed that Tony was completely spooned up behind him, their legs tangled together in a way that screamed intimacy. His hand gripped the one slung over his hips and shook it frantically.

Tony pressed a kiss to the back of his neck before realizing where the fuck they were. He popped up, his bed head from going to sleep with wet hair more out of control than usual. His eyes opened owlishly at Peter and then over at his mother, the sleepy haze of confusion clinging to him even still.

“Don’t worry – it’s about time you two finally got together.” Maria gave them both a pointed look, grabbed her purse, and walked out the door.

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Bailey!

You have been accepted for the role of ROSLALIA CLEARWATER with the facelaim change of Im Jinah! We were so excited to see someone interested in Rosalia. We think she’s such a multi-faceted character and you really brought her in life in your application. We cannot wait to see how her appearance back to the Order will change the dynamics here! Welcome to the roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME & PRONOUNS: Bailey - she/her

AGE: 26

TIMEZONE: CST

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I work full time so usually I’ll be on in the evenings and weekends. If I had to wager a guess, I’d say I should be able to get on around 3 times a week.

ANYTHING ELSE: triggers - animal abuse/cruelty/torture.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Rosalia Clearwater

AGE: 30 - December 12, 1951

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Female | She/Her | Bisexual

BLOOD STATUS: Half-Blood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: Requesting a FC change from Jamie Chung to Im Jinah

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

 (tw: minor self harm)

PERSONALITY:

You know those girls you hear about - the ones that grew up with scrapes on their knees and branches in their hair, with wild smiles and honey sweet laughter? No concept of fear, the kind of girl who embraced everything the world threw at her with her feet planted firmly on the ground. Rosalia was once that girl - always ready to speak up and defend those that need defending, quick to fight and just as quickly settle down into a discussion.

She liked to have an understanding of those around her, how they thought and what drove them. It was maybe a more Ravenclaw trait but she found most confrontations didn’t escalate to the same extent if she heard someone out.

Not that she didn’t have opinions - she knew what she believed in and would do research to help support her ideas. Sometimes she’d get fixated on one idea and hold fast to it, that Gryffindor stubbornness settling into her veins. It would take examples and sources to change her mind at that point, not just an opinion. Of course, when it’s the minority (half-breeds and muggle born) there aren’t always the official resources to back up their experiences - biases run rampant throughout history.

She is a natural born leader and teacher - being the eldest of 4 definitely helped her develop those skills. It showed in her classes too - the ease with which she answered questions and how she would help others around her who were struggling, usually regardless of house. The Slytherin’s usually didn’t ask for help from her but if it happened, her answers were usually a little more clipped and there was a distrust in her eyes that wasn’t present with other houses.

Rosalia could definitely be rash in her decisions, jumping into a fight or conversation without knowing all the details. Most of the trouble she landed in was because she didn’t look before leaping.

She has learned over time to not only listen to what people are saying, but what they are not saying. Gaps in information and missing links usually mean something is fishy and she will never hesitate to prod a little if she feels there’s more to be said.

What do they struggle with?

As a child, she would ask question after question, regardless of how appropriate they were and without any regard for tact. The teachers in her muggle schools tried to train her out of it but it wasn’t until she went to Hogwarts that she truly began to see people from all walks of life and how her questions might affect someone. It was also the first place where her punishments stuck - detention in the muggle world would never compare to scrubbing out cauldrons for hours on end or polishing trophies until her hands were red and raw.

Over time, those relentless questions turned into a love of debate and she would eagerly

argue wixen politics or the rights of certain people or why the colour purple was clearly superior over all other colours. It was fun and it always felt like a contest and she did have a love of winning.

Her biggest struggle came around after she was hit by the curse. It wasn’t like breaking a bone, where the pain was immediate and overwhelming and recovery was slow going but the healing was obvious. No, this curse was more insidious - a dark mark forming on her bicep and over time spreading down to her fingers until her veins were dark and her fingertips black.

Slowly losing the mobility of her wand arm was debilitating - the magic thrummed in her veins but she wasn’t able to cast it, to release it to the world. And then one day, she woke up and couldn’t feel anything where the darkness was - no fizzy thrum of magic, no pinpricks of her sewing needles, not even the sensation as she dragged her sharpest knife along her forearm.

After fleeing Britain and the war, it took a very long time for Rosalia to be able to sleep through the night without dreaming of the night that sent her life into a tailspin. Even now, after all the work she put into her rehabilitation, a big part of her still doesn’t believe she will be able to be of use to the Order. What good is a wix with one good arm and unresolved trauma to an organization that is trying to save the wixen world?

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

Growing up, she never knew her father. Her mother, Vanessa Clearwater, rarely talked about him other than to say that he was a muggle and they were better off without him. It was the same with the rest of her sisters - all of them had a different father, always muggle, and never present. Any time they would ask after any of their absent fathers, Vanessa would snap and send them off to do chores until they were exhausted.

It was a strict upbringing but not unpleasant by any stretch of the imagination. Vanessa instilled in each of them a sense of worth and confidence that would be hard to shake. Magic was intermittent among the girls: Rosalia was magical from the age of three, Violette didn’t manifest anything until her 8th birthday, Alysum was the late bloomer of all of them - her letter came as a surprise and her first year was a struggle, but she did manage to manifest magic. Her magic was always the weakest. And Poppy never showed any aptitude for magic. This meant that her entire family doted upon her and did their best to include her whenever they could, but there were some times that Poppy was excluded despite their best efforts.

Vanessa Clearwater: Mother

Rosalia Clearwater: Eldest

Violette Clearwater: 2nd born

Alysum Clearwater: 3rd born

Poppy Clearwater: 4th born

OCCUPATION: 

Rosalia doesn’t currently have an occupation. Before she fled Britain, she was a full time member of the Order and devoted all her time to the cause. Once she was set up in Brazil, she picked up a waitressing job in a muggle restaurant to pay for her rent and food. Now though, as she steps out into the familiar gloomy atmosphere of London, she has nothing. No occupation, no home - she’s not even sure if she’s still a member of the Order.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER: What is their purpose in the Order? How do they feel about the organization within a failing war? Remember, the Order is also an illegal vigilante organization and that can be difficult for characters to navigate.

It was her home. She was a defender, a light against the evils of the world and now she was nothing. A burden to the people she once called family and a liability if she were ever caught. The guilt haunts her - knowing the risk her actions and memory could have.

And still…some part of her wants to be welcomed back, to rejoin the people she loves. Time is short and survival isn’t guaranteed - the gut wrenching article she read in the Prophet confirmed that. The darkness was spreading and she had to get back out there on the front lines…even if it meant her death.

Penance by sacrifice - could she ever make it up to the Order for leaving? If not..she would give her life for those that hadn’t fallen. She would do all she could to pass on what she’d learned to other members of the Order but, as far as she was concerned, her life was tainted and although she was ready to fight, she knew that her life wasn’t worth the same as someone like James Potter.  

SURVIVAL: 

She fled to Brazil and for a while, could not practice her magic at all. Each spell was a fight and every time she reached for it, it felt tired and lethargic. She got set up in a muggle beach side town and started working in a restaurant to make enough to live. She’s going back to Britain now and to be honest, doesn’t intend to survive. Her survival is no longer on the table - the survival of the Light is all that matters now.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Fragile, non-existent, shattered - coming back, she doesn’t expect any sort of warm welcome. She misses them all though, her heart aching every time she thought of back home, thought of sending another owl, of just picking up and going back to the friends and family she once knew. But her dreams are haunted by their scorn, by their betrayal and she finds herself cowering away in her small bachelor room.

Moody - he was her friend, suspicious and rough and always on edge but someone she could trust with her life. And now….well, if he didn’t hex her on sight, she would think it was a miracle. If she could just talk with him, explain why she left how she did…maybe he’d at least give her the time of day.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: 

Note that there are no planned endgame ships set in this roleplay. There are a few characters who are in romantic relationships at the start of the game, but it will be up to players to decide if those relationships can survive the war. This question does not guarantee that any ship will happen, it is merely for fellow players to see where your interest might lie.

Really, anything organic. Will have to work through trauma - doesn’t intend to survive war - why make long term commitments? Open to old flames/exes as well, if we want to establish something from Hogwarts time or from before she fled the country. Could be almost anyone in Hogwarts time and after that time, anyone who was part of the Order. Would never have a relationship with a known death eater - I am down for twists and subterfuge and betrayal though along those lines.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Rosalia definitely has some biases that she got while attending Hogwarts. Competitive by nature, it only made sense to her that of course Gryffindors were better than Slytherins. You only had to look at how the Quidditch games went or where the Slytherin common room was located - the dungeons were creepy and gross and those thoughts just translated over to the students who lived there.

As time went on and she slowly had smaller courses with more classmates from different houses, her immediate disgust and distrust began to go away. She was more likely to treat her fellow Slytherin classmates with respect and even joked around with them, but if she ran into unfamiliar Slytherins in the halls, her gaze would harden and that suspicion would filter back in.

She’s grown a fair bit since her school days and having travelled, does understand that you can’t judge someone based on how they were sorted or who they were at a young age. Still, there are some microaggressions she can’t shake and it takes a purposeful thought process to correct herself when she notices them.

Muggles - Rosalia has two different trains of thoughts when it comes to non-magical folk. The first one is based on Poppy - the baby of the family and someone who needs to be protected. She doesn’t have the luxury of magic to rely on and she struggled a little more compared to the rest of her family. If Rosalia had to compare, she would say it was most similar to seeing a puppy on the side of the road in a box that needed a home.

The other train of thought stems from what Vanessa has told her about her father. How he didn’t want to be a part of her life, how unreliable he was, how much better off they are without him. It’s normal for muggle parents to be absent from their child’s life and Vanessa didn’t want that for any of her kids.

Living among muggles hasn’t warmed Rosalia’s heart to them. If anything, the resentful side of her has grown - working in a customer service role has shown her the worst side muggles have to offer.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 

Honestly, I was looking around different roleplays on tumblr and I really loved the premise of this group. I also liked how the plot drops really incorporated all characters involved and seems to include everyone.

I’ve also kept thinking about this group after I messaged the main a month ago about the potential FC change. I literally couldn’t get Rosalia out of my head.

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

I really like the idea of exploring the trauma and PTSD that Rosalia has and how this will affect her return to the Order. I also like the idea of her not succeeding when she initially returns and forcing her to deal with some of the trauma she’s been avoiding.

I also love the idea of getting her to a place where she can produce a full bodied patronus again as she hasn’t been able to since she was hit by the curse.

[inescapcble]

This isn’t really an intro as much as an UPDATE featuring a biography and some changes I’ve realised as I’ve gotten to know Leah’s character better, but given that I’d still recommend y’all give this a once over. Thanks to everyone for getting involved with her and my other characters, and I’m excited to do so much more with her. <3

BASIC INFO ;

Name: Leontine Artemisia Morgan

Nicknames: Leah (by select friends & family only), Madam Prez (slang)

Gender & Pronouns: cis female, she/her pronouns

Age & DOB: Forty | 14 February, 1980 | Anchorage, Kentucky

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Orientations: Bisexual / biromantic (with a lean towards women)

Relationship Status: In a ( secret ; open ) relationship with Princess Ivana of the Netherlands ( @ofivana​ )

Nationality: American

Religion: Agnostic

Neuroses: Undiagnosed Asperger’s syndrome (note: I, the mun, have diagnosed Asperger’s!)

FAMILIAL ;

Hometown: Anchorage, Kentucky

Father: Kenneth Morgan, CEO of Morgan Financial

Mother: Candace Morgan (d. 2019)

Siblings: Bocephus ( @hxll-0​ ) and Elise ( @ofchampagnetears​ ) Morgan (b. 1992)

OTHER ;

Languages Spoken: English, Latin, French, Italian, German (incl. Swiss, Austrian and Bavarian German), Spanish, Portuguese

Educational Background: Institut Le Rosey, Harvard University, John Hopkins University

Occupational History:

1. Intern / Political Assistant at Capitol Hill (2002-06)

2. Representative for Maryland’s 2nd District (2006 special election — 2010)

3. Junior Senator for Maryland (2010-2016)

4. 45th President of the United States of America (20th January, 2017—)

Achievements: Youngest and first female president of the United States; shortest initiation in Society history. If I listed her political achievements we’d be here a while, folks.

THE SOCIETY ;

Codename: Adrasteia 

Meaning: Adrasteia means “the inescapable,” which I chose as her label. It’s another name for Nemesis, the goddess of divine retribution, which i found quite fitting because she’s always managed to rise above people and attain what she wants, even if it is through using her parents’ money and power to her advantage at least in part. And now she’s the defender of the free world, in the most powerful office in the world — don’t make an enemy of the inescapable, for the inescapable will always get you.

Traditionalist or Reformist: Leah struggles to shoe-horn herself into either camp, but she supposes in general due to her own ideas that she’s some kind of reformist, even if that reform doesn’t include party islands and hedonistic displays. She prefers more power for women within the Society; more space for non-established families and for people to get in on their talent alone.

Goals In The Society: Her own advancement. To make her rowdy siblings see their own potential, and perhaps find a bond with them that feels less like she’s that cousin you don’t see often and don’t know very well. Ultimately, to be the Grand Archon, where she can make the most positive change. To use the Society to get rid of the Twenty-Second Amendment so she has more time to create further equally positive change for America. 

Opinion On The Society: It’s something she was always meant to be part of, but something that needs to be tweaked to fit the time that it’s in. Some people’s definition of ‘tweak’ is too far, but ultimately the most important thing is that she’s in it. Certainly she values it as an honour.

PERSONALITY ;

MBTI: ENTJ-A

Enneagram: Eight, with a Seven wing

Temperament: Choleric

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Inspirations: Birgitte Nyborg (Borgen) | Kidz & SOS (Take That songs, inverse) | Peggy Carter (Marvel Cinematic Universe) | Official Secrets (film)

Tropes: The Ace, Armour-Piercing Question, America Saves The Day, The Chessmaster, Contemplative Boss, Married To The Job, Workaholic, Badass In Charge, Brainy Brunette, Deadpan Snarker, Iron Lady

YOUR MUSE AS ;

A piece of art: The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

A song: Under The Ladder by Mélovin

A book: How To Use Your Enemies by Baltasar Gracián

A movie: Official Secrets

A TV show: Borgen

A historical era: Ancient Greece if she had to choose one, but she’s more one to look to the future than the past.

A historical figure: Artemisia of Caria

A colour: Royal blue

An animal: Lioness (she’s got the name for a reason.)

YOUR MUSE’S DREAM ;

JOB: She’s sat in the Oval Office, folks, she’s doing it.

VACATION: Leontine doesn’t have time for vacations, especially not if she’s attending Society events, but if she did, she’d like to go to the Acropolis.

DAY: One day where Bo and Elise are calm; getting to go on a real date with Ivy and be proud of it.

AS A CHILD: To be President of the United States.

LAST NIGHT: I can’t tell you, because she didn’t sleep long enough to reach the appropriate stage and dream.

THAT THEY GAVE UP ON: She’s never given up on a dream. Never once, not unless she realises it was wrong in the first place. She’s not someone who gives up.

THAT THEY HAVE RIGHT NOW: Constitutional change; getting her siblings into the Society

BIOGRAPHY ;

TWELVE years — that was how long Leontine Artemisia was the sole daughter of Kenneth and Candace Morgan, but also how long it took them to forget why. Through generations of the Morgan bloodline the same issue had persisted; a work-ethic that was either partly or entirely based upon an unattainable ideal of perfection. 

Which, in itself, led to relationships like the parents’ own. Lacking in healthy emotional expression ( particularly on the side of the born Morgan, less so in his softer-hearted wife ) and with at least some business element regarding a ‘practical’ or ‘advantageous’ match. It wasn’t an arranged marriage, not quite, as they had found each other — mostly — alone, but neither could it be said to be a ‘love match’ the likes of which fill the daydreams of any hopeless romantic. 

And then, from there, they hadn’t realised how it would impact any child of theirs until it was too-little, too-late to do anything about it. When the nifty Morgan motto had already taken hold, dug itself into the young girl, going deeper with every comment Kenneth made about how she could be ‘better,’ or ‘how do you expect to be like me or your grandfather?’ 

It became Candace’s — being the far more empathetic parent, the one who was there when Leah fell and who had attached herself to her first-born in a way she would not attach quite the same with inevitable additions — goal to get her as far away from her husband’s influence as possible, so that she might have half a chance at coming fully into her own. Except, prior to achieving that goal, the terrors ( I’m sorry, the twins, but they were, and are, terrors ) came into the trio’s lives, and Leah was both no longer alone, and more alone than ever.

Which suited her fine, or at least she said it did. After all, she was still her mother’s favourite, anyone could see it. Could feel it, where Kenneth had turned his attention to the young babes to see which child would offer him the legacy he craved; because Leah’s goal — politics; the highest seat in the land, even then, regardless if she had to claw her way up there with her nails or not — didn’t particularly interest him at the time ( Morgan Financial needed an heir, and he was consistently frustrated at his eldest daughter’s disinterest ) and would interest him even less after she came back with European ideas from her next destination: the Institut Le Rosey in Switzerland, where she would meet a whole host of future A-Listers and members of the Society, including one Étienne de Polignac.

When she returned from Le Rosey at the age of eighteen, her next destination was already settled: the famed Harvard University, to study political science. Of course, she could be nothing but the hardest worker, something she would not let her university boyfriend — as much as she loved him at the time — get in the way of; it was clear Kenneth’s message had gotten through to her ( too well, as she would never feel good enough, always striving to impress him, when it was impossible ) when she chose career over her love life upon graduation. 

Because from a young age she had set her eyes upon the White House desk, organised her life around that ultimate dream; pursued law and civics, and abandoned the healthy social lives of others her age. While other members of her family could have been considered high-society socialites, all she knew was her own ambition. Quickly Leah herself became the pedestal for her siblings to follow — except, not her politics, as Kenneth would indicate by sending the twins to Phillips Exeter rather than Le Rosey — and was a point of pride when her parents decided she ought to go to public events; after all, she had to learn how to relate to people, didn’t she? Her first motto, and a tattoo she has that’s always hidden by her clothing, is: change your stars, if you try, you’ll succeed.

Leontine moved to Maryland after Harvard, where she worked as a political advisor at Capitol Hill for one of the Democratic representatives ( whilst balancing a second degree, in international relations, at Johns Hopkins University due to its proximity to Capitol Hill ) until she was of constitutional age to stand for election in the House. She won Maryland’s second district — rather than standing in her birth / home state of Kentucky — and then, upon turning thirty, became the junior senator for the state; however, these early political years were all overshadowed by one event: the war in Iraq, with which she vehemently disagreed, and which has continued to influence her strong anti-war stance throughout the rest of her political career.

‘The rest’ of her political career including her run for President in the 2016 election, resulting in the thirty-six year old defeating Republican nominee Donald Trump in the most resounding fashion since the Nixon landslide. And even then the opponent managed to win Massachusetts; not so here. 

She grew up privileged, of course she did, and she’s found her balance between being at peace with and being very aware of what led her to where she is today: the Oval Office, the young trailblazer wherever she went. Leah Morgan’s ‘brand’ is record-breaking, perhaps ( after all, she very quickly charmed people to her favour to admit her into the society as a 25-year-old initiate, a Societal record that still to this day stands. ) 

Leah’s mother Candace, however, was killed in a ‘car crash’ last Thanksgiving, a tragedy which she has not processed; she hasn’t any understanding of how to deal with grief — none of the Morgans do — so, at some point, it’s all going to come back to her.

But she was raised on ‘this is good, but you can always do better,’ and that shows more than anything in this woman with a lot of dreams and even more ambition.

[a-wandering-ghoulette]

MyRock ; issue n°44 (Jan/Feb 2017) A Nameless Ghoul from Ghost interview.

Photos: Manon Violence Interview: Mark Renton

2017 has been the year of all records for Ghost! After an exceptional concert at Hellfest, a nicely lead Download Festival (despite voice problems) and a France tour still in minds, the band then launched a triumphal American tour. Meanwhile, the satanic clergy also draw its awesome “Popestar”, EP lead with drums beating by the heady single “Square Hammer”. Telephonical talk with one Nameless Ghoul to take stock on the past, the present and future of this definitely fascinating band.

//Before continuing, note this issue is still available for international orders on their online shop. Direct link to this issue’s page in source! Don’t be surprised by the first cover shown there, it’s litteraly a two covered mag… The mag is meant to be read in 2 time: you start by one side, no matter which one, and when you reach the middle, you have to close it and flip it then tadaaa you have more to read on the 2nd side!//

(Read the full interview under the cut and feel free to point out mistakes!)

Hello, who’s calling? Nameless Ghoul: Hello! I’m one of the Nameless Ghouls.

Which one? Which instrument do you play in the band? N.G. : I’m our clergy’s official spokesperson. I’m also Ghost’s founder, main composer and, most of the time, I play guitar.

How do you feel at the approach of Papa Emeritus III’s end of reign? Because there’ll certainly be a new Papa Emeritus soon… N.G. : You’re right, we’re close to the end of a cycle. Personally, I always saw change as a good thing. It’s stimulating. We still have a lot of concerts to give in 2017, but I think I can safely say that at the end of the next year, all Nameless Ghouls will be tired of Papa Emeritus III! It’ll be nice to see a new leader coming to guide us.

How would you describe the personality of Papa Emeritus III compared to his predecessors? N. G. : First of all, Papa Emeritus III is an entertainer! He loves projectors, he loves the public, and he loves success. The first Papa Emeritus was someone very rigid, very strict, and very solemn. A real son of a bitch! (laughs) To be honest, we don’t miss him at all! Papa Emeritus II was a pervert a little bit sadistic, and, in hindsight, I think he wasn’t very at ease on stage. He wasn’t a showman, unlike Papa Emeritus III! Him, he’s the guide we missed to rise up the quality of our shows, to reach the step above and communicate with our fans. We will be eternally thankful for his work. I believe he have paved the way for his successor…

Precisely, what are you waiting from the future Papa Emeritus IV? N.G. : Well, I want him to be scary. That he bring back something more tenebrous, while remaining spectacular. Broadly speaking, I want the next album to come back to a gloomier atmosphere.

Fueled by ego

On a more personal viewpoint, what is your relationship with your character? N.G. : What’s exciting me the most with Ghost, it’s that the project is a real challenge for the individuals involved. Everybody is on an equal footing. Furthermore, there’s something really thrilling to embody a character which is a part of yourself, but never totally you. Traditionally, rock stars always reach the point where they fuse with their creature. In the end, rock’s always been fueled by ego. Even if you’re part of a fully honest and underground band, you’ll always have this desire to be under the spotlights, to be recognize, famous and loved. Those pretending the contrary are liars. Roughly, no matter the music you make, you all secretly dream to be a kind of Justin Bieber. (laughs) To be masked is something very different. It’s a kind of anomaly in the entertainment system. Because every day, you never receive the admiration you deserve. When I’m not on stage with Ghost, I’m going back in anonymity. It’s very positive for me. I would say, my character brings me some stability in my daily life. But I’m aware my case is a bit special since I’m Ghost’s main composer and thus I’ll always be linked in a way or another to this project. But being in the obscurity is sometime more complicated to manage for the other Nameless Ghouls…

This mystery surrounding Ghost inevitably attracts the fans curiosity. This year, some of them started a vast quest to discover your identities. We imagine it’s part of the game, but what are you feeling regarding it? N.G. : From the beginning, we knew it’ll be impossible to keep the secret until the end. It’s already a miracle we held this long. (laughs) Personally, it doesn’t matter. I think the work accomplished pays its own way. I mean, our albums, our concerts and our universes are that strong they succeed to supplant the reality. Today, people don’t care to know who’s under Papa Emeritus’ hat. When they come to see us play, they want the real Papa. It’s a bit like if our creature ended up escaping us to live its own life.

2017 has been a successful year for Ghost, with appearances in huge festivals, a colossal American tour and the worldwide success of the EP “Popestar”. How did you live that? N.G. : This year has been amazing on every points, really! We’ve been able to see how much the band has grown by federating more fans. However, I’m not someone who contemplate our success and congratulate myself. The past doesn’t interest me. But the future does. When we take a step forward I always try to have in mind the next one. 5 years ago, we played at the Olympia supporting In Flames and Trivium. It happens that on 11 April next we’ll come back, this time as the headliner. But instead of rejoicing, I like to tell myself: “OK, it’s cool, but what I really want to do is Bercy!”. And if one day we make it to Bercy as the headliner, I know in a corner of my head there’ll be the Stade de France. I’m ambitious. (laughs)

I come from extreme metal.

Ghost is one of the rare bands to link metal to the general public. Do you think it explains this popularity? N.G. : I think, yes. We see more and more diversity in the public at our gigs. Of course, there are metalheads with long hair and battle jacket, but there are also hipsters, girls who usually listen to pop music, and alternative rock lovers. I find it fantastic. You know, musically, I come from extreme metal. It’s been in my genes since my teenage years. I listen to many other things, but it’s where I come from. It’s my identity and it’s what forged my mentality. At the point that, when Ghost began to be successful, I started to feel guilty. I had that feeling I transgressed underground metal’s tactical rules, which are systematic rejection of success and popularity. It took me a lot of abnegation to understand success isn’t nefarious, on the contrary, it’s the reward for an hard work. And deep down I think I was scared to be rejected by my own community, to be treated like a sellout.

Have you ever been confront to animosity from fundamentalists metalheads? N.G. : Oh yes, mostly now! On internet, some start to let their hate flow on Ghost. But it’s OK, I understand. Myself, if I wasn’t in the band, I think I would hate Ghost. (laughs) Because in metal, once a band makes money, they’re sellout. It’s like this and I accept it. It’s also an old metalhead’s thing. People who were here during the rise of the extreme genres grew up with a certain code of conduct, with a more rigid thinking. By the way, I’m going to tell you a secret: some of my best friends abhor Ghost. They hate the band. They don’t understand what we do, they think it’s crap. But it’s nothing. They can. They stay my friends after all. (laughs) It’s different with kids, they are more open minded. But in hindsight, I’m figuring out that me too, in my daily life, I’m an old fart. (laughs) I listen to a small amount of new things. Nothing give me more joy than a good old “Master of Puppets”, a “Seven Churches” by Possessed, or a King Diamond, my hero!

King Diamond & Merciful Fate.

Would you say King Diamond was the biggest inspiration for Ghost, in terms of theatricality? N.G. : Indeed! As far as I remember, I’ve always listened to King Diamond and Merciful Fate. At home, my mother listened to a lot of 60’s and 70’s classic rock, like Beatles, Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin. My brother, him, listened to harder stuff like AC/DC, Sex Pistols, Rainbow… I liked all of this, but when my neighbor introduce me to King Diamond I had the feeling to be someone special. I was listening to this crazy stuff that no one else knew at home! I was 8 and, at this age, as you can imagine, I was very marked by his albums’ visuals. King Diamond is the one who open me the door to this gloomy universe which is now find in Ghost.

Kid from the 80’s.

We also guess an interest for the 80’s! If previously you made a cover of Depeche Mode, your EP “Popestar” offer us covers of Echo & The Bunnymen and Eurythmics. N.G. : I’m a kid from the 80’s, it’s the soundtrack of my life. I think it’s mostly thanks to the radio, which was always switch on at home. I like all classics: Mike Oldfield, Nik Kershaw, Eurythmics, Midnight Oil… When I was a teenage, I kind of liked to show of and act like a thoug one who only listen to extreme metal, but secretly, in my bedroom, I listened to Duran Duran, Spandau Ballet and Bronski Beat. (laughs) And, in the end, Ghost is exactly this: a mix of Kiss, Depeche Mode and Merciful Fate with a bit of Pink Floyd over it, especially “The Piper at the Gates of Dawn” and “A Saucerful of Secrets”.

On your last EP, there is the heady single “Square Hammer”. It’s the first time you embrace that clearly pop’s codes. Is this song representative of the sound you would like to have on the next album? N.G. : You know, album after album, each time we ask ourselves how far we can go. It was already the case with “Infestissumam”. At the time, we wondered if the song “Ghuleh/Zombie Queen” wasn’t too much. After a moment of hesitation we were like “Fuck! Black Sabbath made ballads so why not us?”. On “Meliora”, we wondered if there weren’t too many ballads. Then, when we composed “Square Hammer”, we found the title too direct, too effective. We were scared our fans wouldn’t understand. We’ve always had this metalhead consciousness tugging us. But in the end, we thought a good song is a good song, no matter the shape. So to answer your question, I think our next disc will wander further more into these melodies, indeed.

You have a break until the resumption of the tour, on March. Will you write the new album while you’re at it? N.G. : Of course! I’m already on it, I have some new songs…  And a good idea where I want to go with this album, but it’s too early to talk about it. The problem is the 2017 tour will extend and I’m not sure we’ll have the time to finish the recording before going back on the roads. I think we’ll finish it in late 2017, with a potential release in 2018. Earlier seems difficult to me! All I can tell you is that visually, the next album’s imagery will come back to something way darker than “Meliora”.

What can we expect for your next date at the Olympia, on 11 April next? N.G. : I saw today that our concert is sold out, it’s amazing! It’ll be very alike shows we gave in the USA this year. We have a stage structure more sizable compared to the last time we came in France. Visually, the show will be impressive, but we’ll also play some rare titles. The only deception is we won’t have the pyrotechnical effects, because they aren’t authorized at the Olympia. So it’ll has to work doubly hard! You know, we love to play in France. We are always very well hosted here. Moreover, what I most loved since the release of “Meliora” it’s to play again and again in France. I really saw our public grow out there when it comes to Hellfest or Rock en Seine. To feel appreciated like this is the greatest reward. Furthermore, the food is succulent in France, people are lovely and you have this attitude a bit impertinent which is rather close to that of Ghost. France, it’s our second home. We’re eager to be back at the Olympia and to party with you! (Translator note: Ooooh you and your sweet like honey words~ We love you too, dear.)

Bonus anecdote:

(Almost) naked with James Hetfield! Our new friend Nameless Ghoul is an ultimate fan of Metallica. Before becoming friend with James Hetfield, he met him in circumstances rather… embarrassing: “Metallica, it’s the greatest band in the world! I hadn’t have time to fully savor their last album but I’m so happy to know they’re alive and in great shape.  It also means they will tour, and thus we’ll get the occasion to meet on the road. James Hetfield has been one of Ghost’s first supports. I had the chance to meet him several times, and since we often message each other. The first time he’s been introduced to me, the situation was rather… surrealistic. We were in our lodge, changing ourselves, and here come James Hetfield suddenly appearing by the door to say hi. And you know what? I was in underwear! It was the most embarrassing situation of my life! I was there, in underwear, in front of my greatest idol! How embarrassing!”