#i am but a small colorful gay in need of attention

[calliesmemes]

YET ANOTHER ROUNDUP OF ASOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to be a bit silly <333

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

❛ I am not merely a clown; I’m the entire damn circus! ❜

❛ I will bite you if you continue this behavior. ❜

❛ Being a dramatic ass bitch isn’t a personality trait; it’s a lifestyle! ❜

❛ Trauma? Oh … you mean, my lore? ❜

❛ why must I cite sources? is it not enough to just say ‘trust me, bro’? ❜

❛ sorry for being a perfect sweetie and a genius it will likely happen again. ❜

❛ forget about touching grass; I need to touch WATER I NEED TO GO INTO THE OCEAN I NEED TO DIVE INTO THE SEA!!! ❜

❛ I’m attracted to men with muppet energy and no i will not be explaining. ❜

❛ you want me to make friends with people? the thing that killed julius caesar? ❜

❛ what’s your birthstone? mine is rock bottom. ❜

❛ I absolutely hate that I’m not bioluminescent. Pathetic. ❜

❛ ohhhhh my god i have got to stop mourning the past or whatever. ❜

❛ you expect me to act like a normal human being? I’m wearing a turtleneck! ❜

❛ i don’t struggle with same sex attraction I’m actually very good at it. ❜

❛ unfortunately i often find out without even getting the chance to fuck around. ❜

❛ I’m bisexual which means that I’m attracted to anybody who can defeat me in physical combat. ❜

❛ all anyone needs to know about me is that i’m a dumbass and i love women. ❜

❛ sorry but philosophers aren’t impressive i came up with stuff like that when i was 12. ❜

❛ I pay my own bills; I can cuss all I want! ❜

❛ I don’t have rizz; I have sad eyes and a weird presence. ❜

❛ my demons are chasing me and they’re doing the Naruto run. ❜

❛ honey we are ALL doomed by the narrative. it's not that serious. have some fun with it. ❜

❛ dating me is like interviewing a psych ward patient. ❜

❛ being a girl with very large brown eyes comes with great responsibility. ❜

❛ i’m autistic in ways that you can’t even begin to imagine. ❜

❛ being a loser may be a phase to you but its a lifestyle for me. ❜

❛ entering a magical portal in the woods would fix me. ❜

❛ I’m lonely but not in a hot mysterious way; more like in a pathetic way. ❜

❛ life is so unserious just say womp womp and move on! ❜

❛ you’re vibing? In this economy? ❜

❛ just because I’m small doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass. ❜

❛ my primary motivators are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ❜

❛ sorry about the chaos; I needed attention. ❜

❛ WHAT IS UP GIRL you look foreboding and malicious! ❜

❛ baby i can be your problematic bi wife. ❜

❛ i don’t think any of you understand how important i am to the plot. ❜

❛ what if we are both red flags? what then? ❜

❛ any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ❜

❛ my hobbies include being right, being gay, and being a hater. ❜

❛ i have a phd in Loving The Color Pink And Also Glitter. ❜

❛ being a menace to society is a full time job and I am dedicated. ❜

❛ my life has been a bouquet of oopsie daisies. ❜

❛ i survive on spite, anxiety, and blasphemy. ❜

❛ if you’re not obsessed with me, why would I wanna be with you? ❜

❛ the hottest thing a man can be is a little afraid of me. ❜

❛ my love language is being a hater. ❜

❛ i don’t get enough credit for acting far less insane than i actually am. ❜

❛ the A in my name stands for always right. ❜

❛ Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and I will continue to be rebellious until he does so. ❜

❛ I’ll see a man with long hair and then remember that I’m not above temptations of the flesh. ❜

❛ i’m going to be honest with you I’m not going to be honest with you. ❜

❛ stop asking me if I’m ok I’ll literally make out with you. ❜

❛ part of my masculine charm is that I’m literally insane. ❜

❛ are you sure those are demons bro? or are they consequences from the choices you made? ❜

❛ i do not identify as a boy or a girl. i identify as a nuisance, an irritant, a fool, and a problem. ❜

❛ praying on someone’s downfall isn’t enough i need to participate in it. ❜

❛ we all need to chill. i won’t do it first but it’s something i noticed. ❜

❛ not to sound like a Victorian woman suffering from hysteria but going to the sea would fix me. ❜

❛ the silly goose convention called; they asked if you could be their keynote speaker. ❜

❛ i deserve unrestricted access to old castles and old churches i want to know all the secrets. ❜

❛ doesn’t matter if you’re cringe or based we’re all just here to suffer. ❜

❛ I’m no longer comedic relief I’m now serious panic. ❜

❛ this is getting difficult to romanticize. ❜

❛ done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness needs a sword. ❜

❛ i am God’s silliest experiment. ❜

❛ i’m very vulnerable right now if anyone wants to take advantage of me. ❜

❛ sorry i overshared do you still think im hot? ❜

❛ I can yap for days and still maintain my air of mystery. ❜

❛ good luck sending me mixed signals; I don’t even understand normal ones. ❜

❛ not all of your life decisions have to be smart. some can be purely for cinematic value. ❜

[the-hydroxian-artblog]

There's something about your art style that digs it's nails in my mind, I'm not sure if it's the monochromatic nature occasionally broken by sharp bright colors, the lines that get more wide and shaky as they become less "important" or the fact that every part of your drawings feels busy, maybe it's all of them

Not to mention your character designs my god your good at this shit I love all your goobers especially Victor I love that stupid ass gay bird toy game demon I need to kill him

Thank you! I need to kill him too

A lot of it is that I practice for the sake of efficiency. Hilariously, I hate "illustrating". I have a brain for animation but no actual patience for animation, so I like having designs that get ideas across very quickly and require an uncomplicated process of just Drawing the Damn Thing. Once i have to actually color i start to cry. So everything only has like 5 colors to it at most. It's an inherently "lazy" style, but it also means I can stay focused on just the drawing and not worry about other choices to make about rendering or whatever.

I am the kind of person who plays one build in a game, and practice it and only it to the point of mastery, until everyone else playing the same game is like "wow what a weird playstyle. Is that all you do" "yes" "How are you making it work" "my attention span is too small to learn how to do anything else" "christ"

[yearningagain]

it's enough (to make a girl blush): chapter two

HELLO!!! welcome to chapter two! i'm amazed at the traction that this has gained with just the first chapter, and it's giving me so much motivation to continue this!

i've also decided to open up my ask box for suggestions for rambles and ficlets, so please shoot me a message if you feel so inclined!

and of course a huge thank you to @kayleeofcamelot for betaing and helping me so much!! without further ado!

also on ao3!

total wc: 2.6k | wc: 1.4k | rating: e (18+) | pairing: steddie | cw: none | tags: a/b/o, alpha eddie munson, omega steve harrington, modern au, baker steve, famous eddie, getting together, gay eddie, bi steve, soulmates/true mates/scent mates, side buckingham

part one | part three

--------------

Steve loved Robin more than he thought he could love anyone. She was the peanut butter to his jelly, the rock to his roll, the yin to his yang. He doesn't know how he managed as long as he did before meeting her, and he frankly doesn't know what he would do without her now. 

That being said, sometimes she does make Steve want to give himself another concussion. 

Lunch at the deli had been uneventful. They had eaten their sandwiches while nestled in the window booth in the back corner, turned to look out onto the streets of Chicago. Most of their conversation was driven by judgmental comments about passerby’s, ranging from jabs about interesting color choices on someone's tracksuit to monologues about wearing a faux fur coat with cheetah print leggings (“It’s the principle, Rob! You wouldn’t get it”).

After finishing their meals, the pair made their way across the street to the record store. Upon entry, Steve was surrounded by deep earthy scents, old vinyl and incense mingled with the fresh flowers growing in pots littered about. And that brought them to their current situation.

Robin was making a complete and utter fool out of herself. She was bright red in the face, and Steve couldn’t tell if it was from pure mortification or her complete lack of breathing for the past five minutes. As soon as a little blonde omega, introduced as Chrissy, emerged from the shelves to greet them and show them around, the alpha had not been able to stop her mouth from running and running. Now, normally in these situations, Steve would insert himself into Robin's one sided conversation and slow her down, purely to rescue the other person from being roped into a woven tale of at least six subjects at once. But after one look at Chrissy, and the adoration and attentiveness in her expression, he decided to leave it be. 

At the back corner of the shop was a small gathering of armchairs, a loveseat, and a small wooden coffee table. Plopping down into the comfiest looking chair, leaving the girls to their own devices, Steve pulled out his phone to start tackling the sea of messages he had received during the night. 

Dusty

12:58 AM: STEVE

STEVEN

12:59 AM: STEVEN HARRINGTON

STEVEN LOUISE HARRINGTON

1:01 AM: do you even love me anymore

1:08 AM: if i were dying i'd be dead by now

1:14 AM: ☠️☠️🩸🩸

1:27 AM: okay whatever goodnight steven text me when you’re  alive again ig 🙄

11:39 AM: Jesus Christ kid

That’s not even my name

11:40 AM: Did you die?

11:41 AM: no

11:41 AM: So what was so important?

11:43 AM: before i say anything i want to remind you that  i know all of your secrets and also you love me sooo much  and you’re the best babysitter ever and you owe me for  letting my mom hire you at the shop

11:44 AM: Dustin. What did you do.

11:44 AM: nothing!

i didn’t do anything i swear on my mother

11:45 AM: Okay…

So…?

11:46 AM: my favorite band is playing here next month but its an 18+ show

mom would never come with me, she’d have a heart attack i think

so i need you to take me

11:48 AM: i can pay for your ticket if you want!

11:50 AM: steve?

A loud crash echoed from within the shop, followed by an extremely disheveled Robin popping her head into the nook. "I need your help."

—

Leaving the girls was both the best and worst decision Steve could have made. 

In the ten minutes of inattentiveness, the alpha had managed to talk for seven of them consecutively. After realizing she had been talking herself in circles, she tried to reign it in, which ultimately ended in her accidental confession of attraction towards Chrissy. That then led to a kiss-turned-make-out, in which Robin had tried to push the shorter girl against a wall for more leverage. However, blinded by her circumstances, she pushed the omega into one of the shelves, effectively knocking it and its contents to the ground. They were old antique shelves that had been modified with basket-drawers to store records and other miscellaneous objects, they were heavy . 

Steve would be upset, but the dark blush and lovesick smile never quite left Robin's face. 

With that mess dealt with, he was finally able to respond to Dustin. He shot a quick 'Sure. Just LMK the deets ' text and slid his phone back into his pocket. Chrissy led them both back to the nook, bustling about and making sure they were comfortable.

"Steve, I am so incredibly sorry about that! Please sit here, let me go grab something and I'll be right back!" She dashed off down a small hallway towards the back of the building.

Steve shook his head at Robin, sighing loudly. "Couldn't keep it in your pants?"

The alpha huffed and looked away. She huffed again, this time more of a sniff. And then again. 

"Steve, are you fucking with me or something?"

Furrowing his eyebrows, he followed suit in her actions by taking his own sniff of the air. "What? What's going on?"

She continues sniffing, seemingly following the scent. Standing from her spot on the loveseat, laser focused on tracking, she walks right over to Steve.

"Your scent, it's changing. I knew it was different this morning! I know what you smell like, dingus. And you don't smell like you anymore. Well, okay, you still smell like you! But it's like you're roasting apples in the woods on a camping trip. And you've always smelled like apples, so I'm glad that's the same, but now it's different. Has anything weird happened lately? Have you felt different at all? Do you have a fever?" Her curiosity morphs into concern and she starts placing her hands over the omegas face, seeing if she can tell the temperature. "I've never been good at this. Should we go to the doctor? Do we need an ambulance? Shit, did you get poisoned?"

Steve grabbed her hands firmly, guiding them to his chest and taking a deep breath. "Breathe. I'm not dying, Robs. I think I'd know if I was." He takes a few more measured breaths, pulling her down into his lap for a hug. 

After he was sure she was calm, he relaxed his grip, but didn't let go. "I was actually meaning to ask you about something. Nothing bad, I promise! I just... I had this really weird dream last night and I woke up convinced it had actually happened. I was so convinced there would be physical proof, but there wasn't any. But I could smell the alpha in my dream. Have you ever had a dream where you could smell the other people?"

Robin looked at him calculatingly, a crease forming in her brow at the thought. "No, never. I didn't think it was a thing that happened."

"Exactly. I could smell him, birdie. I could feel him. It was real . Until it wasn't. I woke up heartbroken. For no real reason." He sighed once more, lowering his gaze to his fingers rested in his lap.

"Okay, I am so sorry once again, and I had no intention to eavesdrop whatsoever, but I want to help." Chrissy emerged from the hallway with a plate of mini cupcakes, a sheepish expression. 

Steve waved her off. "It's all good. If you don't think I'm crazy, I don't mind suggestions."

She set the plate of cupcakes onto the coffee table and sat down on the loveseat. Robin quickly scrambled off of Steve to sit next to the other omega, shooting him an apologetic glance. 

"So, basically, I read this book once, out of pure curiosity, that was about fate and the universe and all that. It had a whole section about how, years and years ago, alphas and omegas were randomly going through what seemed to be second presentations. It started with scent changes, and apparently a lot of people experienced some sort of initial mental connection. These changes were way less severe, and oftentimes not noticeable until a random heat or rut was triggered. When that would happen, it was always a pair at a time, one alpha and one omega. The moment they would smell the other for the first time is the moment their respective presentations would complete. They'd come out the other side bonded and, most often, pupped. Their bodies were preparing."

Steve stared at Chrissy, mouth agape. "Preparing for what, exactly?"

"Their soulmate!"

[b4tracha]

How You First Met SKZ

Stray Kids OT8 x Male! Reader 

(My First Fic, Bare with Me..)

Bang Chan: Chan was known for the amount of friends he had in the industry. You happened to have mutual friends with another idol and you met at a hangout. His first impression of you was how gorgeous you were. Chan never really thought about his sexuality until that moment. Men were cute to him, but you were just on another level. He was too busy staring at you to ask for your number.

“Can I have your number?”

The moment you spoke those words, he felt like he could faint. 

Lee Know: Dori had trouble finishing her food and Minho decided to go to the vet to see if anything was wrong. You had a little kitten in your arms and he was immediately interested. A hot guy that liked cats? He felt like he won a grand prize. He asked about the small little baby in your arms and found out he was orphaned by his mother and you decided to keep him. Soon Dori was ready to go but before you could say goodbye, he asked for your information.

“You should give me your number, just incase you need help taking care of him..”

But everyone knew he just wanted your number.

Changbin: Changbin was a known gym head and would go any time he could. He decided to go to a different one after his usual was closed for renovations. He was struggling to figure out why the equipment wasn’t working correctly, until you spoke up and helped him out and fixed the machine. His eyes shot up to your face to thank you, but his voice seemed to stop in his throat. How can someone be so perfect? 

“I know this thing can be a pain sometimes. I use it every day and it still gives me trouble every now and then.”

If he was going to see someone as beautiful at the gym, he might as well switch his membership!

Hyunjin: You were the only working staff at the art center. He was going for some new water colors, but Hyunjin didn’t know what brand to go with. He came up to you and asked about it which one would fit his style of art and you immediately gave a long explanation on which one and why. In the middle of your long answer, he turned out. He could only look in your eyes as it lightened up with passion of art that only felt like he saw in the mirror. With a soft smile, he thanked you and asked you to ring it up for him.

“You must be passionate about art. I want to see your own one day.”

He just wanted to see the cute boy at the art store again.

Han: Jisung didn’t want to go out at first, but he decided to go out in nature and take a walk in the park to clear his head. It was a beautiful day with a nice breeze to cool the air as the sun beamed down on everything. He looked around at the trees, relaxed until a strong force hit him and knocked him over. Jisung sucked in a sharp breath as he braced for the impact of himself hitting the concrete yet it never came. He opened his eyes to see a man holding him up. Your eyes were worried, apologetic for knocking him down. Jisung could barely let out words when apologies tumbled out of your mouth. Was this the “gay panic” people kept talking about?

“I am so sorry, can I get you an ice cream as an apology or something? It’s only down the trail.”

He never felt more happy that he wasn’t paying attention until now. 

Felix: As Stray Kids got more popular, he got invited to more and more brand events. Sometimes that meant that he also had to go to afterparties. He was uncomfortable with the environment, just people watching. At one point, he caught eyes contact with you from across the room. You winked, causing him to blush and look down at the drink in his hands. He looked back once a pair of black shoes were right infront of him, waiting. He glanced up and realized it was you.

“You seem a little bored. I’m (M/N).”

By the time you both stopped talking, his managers were begging him to hurry up and end the conversation. 

Seungmin: Seungmin usually didn’t have time to go the coffee shop before going to the JYP building to start his day. However, he decided to stop by the one that just recently opened on the same street. The place was the norm for an average coffee shop, but what every other place didn’t have was the man behind the cash register. Seungmin felt his jaw drop at your visuals. How were you not an idol? He licked his lips and ordered his drink, trying not to be obvious. Once his drink was called for, he immediately left out of embarrassment. Once he was able to sit down, he looked the receipt and saw some writing. 

“I think you’re cute. Come see me again? -(M/N)

Seungmin went back the second his vocal lessons were over. 

I.N: Jeongin loved shopping, going from store to store with his manager helping him carry all the bags he had. He decided to go to one more store before heading back to the dorms. He looking around before someone tapped his shoulder. He hummed and slowly turned, thinking it was just his manager. He was shocked to see you right behind him with a bright smile. Your smile could easily go against Felix’s. It made him a little nervous until you handed him his wallet.

“You dropped this, also your style is cool. You should give me tips.” 

You didn’t say much before leaving, but it caused Jeongin to freeze where he was. He was coming back to catch a glimpse of you next shopping spree..

[augment-techs]

Had weird thoughts about Dino Thunder after marathoning it and had to write it down.

Tommy: Black, Red, White, Green Grid compatible, but could also probably carry on like a strobe light if given half the chance, because he is The Special, so I'm not getting into the meaning.

Conner: Red Grid compatible, but, like, how ROCKY was Red Grid compatible. Is better in a small group, so they can share the burden. Kind of wish they'd done more with him in Beyond the Grid than just that one panel with Terona.

Ethan: Blue Grid compatible, but the entire time I watched the series my brain kept thinking a very stupid thought in that--should he be? Given all of the stuff all of these teens went through in equal measure, he seems to be the one to get in over his head or have shit tossed at him almost as much as Trent. I kinda feel like he would make a very good Green.

Kira: I get why she's Yellow. Yellow needed someone as sassy and in the moment/down to earth as her to ground the boys. I get it. But she should have either had a different Dino Zord or been given Pink as a secondary color. It kinda pisses me off.

Trent: They should have made his clone earlier to have made the secret keeping bullshit draw out and actually mean something. I'm happy that he's a White Ranger with a PAST that is not all sunshine and rainbows and is clearly mentally ill due to the strain and whatever was happening the entire time with Anton and Mesagog; but also I feel like he could have pulled in extra attention from Hayley, Devin, and Cassidy--because he's the member of the team with that vibe and it was SO wasted.

Hayley: Everyone has already said this, but I'll say it too. She should have been gay and hooked up with Elsa at the end, but more than that, she felt WAY more like an additional SPECIAL Ranger than most other tech support in PR. She would have been lovely in Gold or Silver, just sayin'.

Cassidy: They CODED her Purple. They coded the shit out of her and it pisses me off that it never went anywhere. She is regal, bossy, go in or go home; but more than that she has the Purple indicator of The Planner. A lot of her plans didn't go anywhere, but some of them DID and that feels important to a member of a comedy duo. Although I am a little grateful that this wasn't obvious because her hooking up ONCE with Ethan lead to--

Devin: Ethan was actually friends with this little softie who is so incredibly Orange coded that it makes me want to cry. Cass might be the Planner, but Devin is the DOER--he questions, he hesitates, but he gets the job DONE. And when we get to the end of the season, somehow unsurprisingly, he is gamer buddies with Ethan in a way that works for both of them. The Blue/Orange dynamic that could have been a building block for MORE to come. All these thoughts basically just boil down to my BEGGING the universe that when the comics get into the Dino Thunder series, some things get addressed that were missed on. Please.

[cuntylouis]

i am this close to go into conspiracy territory, since we already know amc intervened with the season why wouldn't they even more so with the promo, because there is just no reason not to have the two actors who this season revolves around not have a shared interview. the articles that are getting published talk about their dynamic, the fans talk about their dynamic, ep 5 has catapulted the show to new heights, and yet the actors who are responsible for that still don't have a single interview together? wtf?!

I think one the problems is that amc seems to be trying to cater to the book fans first and foremost with its marketing. When adapting any piece of media is always a good idea try to get the goodwill of the original fans but you can't also rely on those fans, you need expand your fanbase. Tvc fandom is also relatively small, and a significant portion of it dislikes the show and will not change their mind no matter how many times you show them Lestat, and those who like the show are already on the board, they don't need further convincing. Much of the marketing is conducted like there's an assumption that viewers only care about few specific things that are the most popular among book fans (Lestat, loustat, Devil's Minion...) when actually most of the show fandom aren't book fans, and they're wasting opportunities to draw more people in. I don't think that they've realized that most viewers find other characters and relationships in the show as interesting as Lestat and loustat and they do in fact have patience to wait for a few episodes to see Lestat again. Iwtv being a gay horror show will probably never be a huge mainstream hit but there's still a big potential audience that hasn't been tapped into that might not even know that the show exists or what kind of show it really is. Like people who simply appreciate prestige television, horror fans, romance fans, black people and other poc who're excited to see well-written characters of color in lead roles. Like my mom would probably like this show if it's ever released here! Amc needs to start paying attention what kind of things are actually popular and talked about by viewers, and start trusting the talent of their writers and actors

[emeryhall]

prompts: hot, humid, water & sweat

CW: bordering on explicit

Remus Lupin had ceased to be shocked by words. Bodies comprised of crooks and holes and ridges wrapped in skin that stretched and breathed—that could overwhelm him. But words? At 36 and publisher of the gay poetry zine, Assonance, he thought he had read everything. He had printed poems about blond boys in bathhouses, public masturbation, the slick sound the handle of a heavily vaselined whip makes as you work it into your lover’s ass. What he hadn’t read—that is until this morning over breakfast—was a poem about himself. 

His top floor apartment was silent and still. He could hear his bare footsteps on the kitchen’s hardwood floor. The flick of the button on the coffee maker, the drip of coffee hitting coffee, the pop of ready toast. 

He sat at the table and placed his mug on the most recent submission to Assonance, where it left a damp ring. A perfect circle around the poem’s title and dedication: 

Palm in Neon For R.L.

It was not the “R.L.” that caught his attention. R.L. could be any number of people’s initials. No, it was the title. His reaction to it was visceral. He could feel the press of a hand against his stomach. 

Summer in San Francisco is cool 50s, but thinking about that skin against his and it was the very tip of a New York summer, the slow end of August 1971. 

He took a sip of coffee and read: 

What are you thinking?

I am thinking of August on asphalt. I am thinking of fire hydrants split and spilling. The cigarette butt pulled from your lips, a tiny fire that sizzles in the crook of the curbed river streaming to the ready drain.

You could fry an egg on the sidewalk, you said. And I think of a delicate shell cracking against cast iron. Later a pool of viscid liquid. Your stomach hard asphalt, hot iron.

We clung to subway poles, touching sweat to metal, but not each other. Shuddering with the clatter and the seconds suspended in blackness released to the blank eyes of underground animals. Yours on me though, glassy with trust and alcohol. Remarkable that you would come home with me.

We ascend into New York’s silence. The mumble from stoops, glass shattering the air at 2 a.m. no different than the air at 2 p.m. in its murkiness.

The street lamps wear wet halos.

My palm leaves a damp print on the stairwell wall as I kiss you into graffiti under a dying bulb.

In my room, it is too hot to speak of touching so we drag the bare mattress. You backwards, me burdened. Still wordless. Wordless with laughter, laughter at our clumsiness our need our risk our hope. Our corner of the roof and sky.

Your skin a sunset, gold and glazed in pink and purple. I place my palm in neon against the flat of your abdomen. Hot asphalt, hard iron, sperm smeared and hazy in your sweat. It fits perfectly in pink boundaries. My wrist dispersing light.

We should not be here come morning, but we are. Folded into our corner the way you fold against my chest. Laundry flickers dull colors above us. A shirt sleeve lax in the still air. I feel you stir as I stir. The stiff fabric of starched jeans pinned on the line. I hold you motionless. It is too light for this. And yet if we are silent. Wordless. The slight shift of your leg. The sheet barely rustles. And I need nothing more.

What are you thinking?

You asked. Of our future. Is what I did not say.

— S.B. 

The mug slipped in Remus’s hand. He wiped his palms against his pajamas. He could feel the sheen of sweat on his stomach, at the roots of his hair, like his body wanted to relive the words. 

He’d met Sirius Black at a bar in Greenwich Village. Some kids must have unscrewed the outlet of a fire hydrant because water poured down the street. He’d accepted a cigarette and leaned against the brick wall feeling like it was too hot to have even this small blaze near his face. As they walked to the subway, he flicked the butt into the rush of water flowing between the street and sidewalk. 

Everything was there. The subway ride, the kiss in Sirius’s stairwell. The stifling heat of his Upper East Side apartment, so oppressive that they couldn’t bear to have their bodies next to each other, so they’d drunkenly dragged the mattress up a flight of stairs. When they emerged onto the roof, they weren’t alone. Several other mattresses dotted the tarpapered landscape, each with bodies sleeping restlessly. They’d hesitated, but found a far corner tucked behind an outcropping of chimneys. Someone had strung their drying laundry between one of the chimneys and an antenna pole and they lay beneath it. 

He’d come on his stomach from Sirius’s hand wrapped around him, and as he lay there naked and sticky, they’d realized that the building next-door had a neon sign in its window. A pink palm, purple script above it reading Psychic, Know Your Future. From that angle, the sign’s illumination left a glowing palm on Remus’s belly, and Sirius placed his hand within the outline, fitting it perfectly, the base of his palm resting in the pool of come. 

They were naked under a thin sheet on a shared rooftop when they woke the next morning, and they knew they should dress quickly, hurriedly drag the mattress back to Sirius’s bedroom, but instead they’d had sex. Spooning, barely moving, trying not to make a sound. The very stillness of it a pressure and a release. 

“What are you thinking?” Remus asked. 

Sirius said something about the heat. Neither of them mentioned the future. Remus boarded a flight back to San Francisco, never got a phone number, but he left his card behind: Publisher, Assonance. 

* * *

@wolfstarmicrofic

word count: 1000 (exactly!)

I wanted to write a fic about gay poetry zines post-Stonewall (real thing) and New York before AC was common. Then it turned into a poem.

[chewwypepsicola]

can i ask for any color gang + purple specific headcanons? ALSO what did u think of episode 30 :)

RAAAHHH i love sharing hcs okay here we go, ill limit myself to 6 per character so this doesnt get overwhelming or boring heheheh

General stuff, oldest to youngest i see them like this: green, purple, blue, yellow, red, second. i HC that stickfiguresfighting.dotcom is actually a job they all had and that was the way they met (before second), Yellow wanted independence, Green overall just needed to start making money, Red wanted to really fight other people and he dragged Blue along Following up, Blue and Red are siblings, Blue being the oldest and often looking after Red when they were small.

WITH THAT OUT OFTHE WAY.

GREEN: - AUTISM - Oldest of the group but actually a middle child in a very loud household, he loves his family but he's very likely to have wished for a more comfortable space so thats why he moved out rather quickly and got that job - Noise cancelling earphones yesyes - genderfluid any prns pansexual icon - He HATES PDA (public displays of affection) this is a running joke i have that has developed into a proper HC haha, he always makes faces and gagging noises when YellowBlue are being gay in his general field of vision -Following up, despite hating PDA, he's super super affectionate in private when in a relationship, when in public or out of the confiness of his room he's more subtle like knees bumping against eachother under the table or soft looks across a room, THIS IS OF COURSE ALL IN REALTION TO PURPLE, SORRY, I AM A GREENPURPLE ENJOYER.

PURPLE: - My baby my baby youre my baby say it to meeee, thats not HC thats just my honest to go reaction to anything purple avm - Boy might be dog shit at fighting but he's so good at everything else i swear to god, he's super flexible and has a great amount of body strenght since we see him doing all sorts of stunt and gymnatics plus we see him being reasonably good at parkour, which in turn i have decided to take as "oh okay so he kicks ass at parkour he's the best and no one would ever be able to beat him noted." - I think he's decent at cooking but terrible at baking. Not even minecraft cakes come out right when he makes them. - They/he transmasc ourple sorry woa who said that?!?! (also mlm)

BLUE: - ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME woa who said that?!?! what! - These are just canon but stoner epic skater girlfriend material she's so cool and epic - she/him bigender lesbian WOAH! - Alright you got me i'll elaborate on the eldest daughter stuff. SO BASICALLY. in my mind palace since i have decided that he and red are siblings Blue ends up being the oldest of the two, they have a singular parent so this makes Blue go thru the epic /s experience of having to take care of his little brother and their parent, giving up on childhood and dealing w responsabilities she shouldn't have. You might ask where the fuck did this come from and ill reply I HAVE NO CLUE THEY WRITE THEMSELVES OKAY!? - Blue is doing better now if you wanna know how fucked up that syndrome is just google it real quick you will be hit with the force of three trucks, shes an epic stoner gamer girl that likes to now play pranks on his little brother and be a menace. he's still a caretaker at heart and thats why he mostly tasks herself with doing most of the cooking. - THIS ONE IS BASICALLY STOLEN FROM THAT OTHER TUMBLR USER BUT UHH chronic pains after the lava incident yes brilliant send tweet

YELLOW: - Youngest child in a normal nuclear family, has an oldest sibling, relationships w family are not terrible but he always wished he would get more attention and always felt left aside when he tried to talk about his passions and interests - this guy is autism for sure! - he/him transmasc lesbian sorrey bleh - insomniac i share this hc w everyone else in the fandom this guy is just crasy insane and needs blue to remind him to take his sleeping pills and go to bed - after the LAVA incident and blue struggling to walk down the stairs of their house i think everyone agreed to rearrange the rooms and let blue have the bottom one, those two since they are a couple decided to just share a room and yellow made his old room a sort of study or overall "work" room so that he would not bother blue at night

RED: - ADHD (EXPLOSION GIF) - not a single thought behind those eyes but somehow still so smart and just as capable as everyone else OUGH - fisically strongest, not saying he's the best at combat he simply can pack the hardest punch but he might not be doing it the right way and thus hurting himself in the process - SPEAKING OF, ISNT IT FUCKED UP HOW FAR HE PUSHES HIMSELF?! now that we bring up 30 and everything that came before it i just could Not help but notice the way red passed out like three times during that whole battle, that boy had multiple broken bones and was running on pure adrenaline fighting w his own body to not give up, despite being the one more battered and bruised he kept standing back up and throwing himself right in the line of fire he makes me so sad OUGH -he/him transman realness mlm PHEW - i think that second and he passed out on the couch they moment they all realize they were out of danger you could not wake up those two up for a week they needed the rest SECOND: -trying my best to not run out of ideas here cause i know i have many hcs relating to them but also ive already wrote down a phew a while ago let me think uhhh - youngest. baby of the group, but for some fucked up reason he has decided to take on the "im the more responsible one here i need to look after all of you" role like a DUMMY - it makes very sad to think of him worrying himself so much w the safety of the others cause he has seen first hand that they are way more fragile than him, he doesnt know WHY he endured so many of Dark's attacks in ShowDown but he knows he did and he remembers vividly seeing his friends fight for their lives right in front of his eyes, of course he is going to be burdened with that weight. - Second has terrible separation anxiety that's not even a HC thats basically canon he can not be at ease until everyone is together and he is reasssured that they are okay OUGH (sounds of crying) - Little guy has awful nightterrors that leave him just sitting at the edge of his bed staring off at nothing until he falls asleep again, Green caught him one night and was like "hey you good why are you sleeping sitting like that?" and Second had to explain and Green offered to sleep w him so he would be more comfortable, Second now tends to ask green or red to keep him company when it happens smiles

OKAY THATS ALL!!! as usual i shall share a doodle, please forgive any grammar and spelling mistakes english isnt my first language we are doing the best we can over here hahah, here's the doodle! with my family headcanons for the colors and an extra "family photo" for the hollowheads haha

[alumort]

Ao3 - Prev - Next

update!

It was time to go home, and the rest of his team had gone to their houses already; Lee walked alongside his mentor, who allowed him to stay in his guest room until he could solve his problems with his mom.

… although it would be hard that, after three long years, Jazz suddenly decided to let him go home out of nowhere. Nonetheless, Gai liked having his student close by, being more like a father to him. Lee always saw him being joyful alongside Kakashi, even more since they wore an identical golden ring on their fingers; they had a small ceremony shortly after team Gai was formed, and afterwards they spent most of their time glued to each other.

If anyone knew about love, it was him!

“Gai, can I ask you something?” the boy mumbled, not knowing if he would be heard by anybody, but his companion still turned around.

“Of course you can, Lee! Ask me whatever you wish,” he exclaimed, slowing down to not leave his student behind. “If I don’t know the answer, I’ll research it!

His determination always gave Lee hope; there was nothing Gai couldn’t do! At least, not in the boy’s eyes.

“It’s just… I think I like someone. We are very close, and he even lets me hug him sometimes,” Lee started, looking at the ground as he talked, for he could feel his cheeks warming up already. “I do not know how to tell him, or how he might react. He is a bit serious… Do you know what I could do?”

Even if no specific details were given, it was obvious who he was talking about and perhaps that's why his mentor’s smile had widened. The boy received a warm embrace as a response before any word could be heard.

“Lee! Love is something beautiful in any and all stages of youth, and I’m happy that you decided to talk about it with me. I think it’s better to talk with Ne– him directly, about your feelings,” Gai said, doing a thumbs up as he talked. “I’m almost completely sure he won’t mind at all. He’ll be happy to know such a kind boy is in love with him!”

That was all Lee needed to find courage, already determined to speak with the brunet about his love; all he needed to do was wait for a reunion, or maybe visit him…

He would need a gift that would show how Lee felt about him, even if Neji always said material things weren’t important; the black haired boy wanted to give him something that his rival could keep no matter how the confession went.

Lee had the rest of the day to plan about his present and so, for the first time in a while, he decided to not do his late afternoon training just to find something for his crush. Something small; Neji didn’t like to be the center of attention, not even when he had to look for someone in a crowd.

There weren’t many stores open at that time, apart from a restaurant and… Ino’s flower shop. She would be happy to help! Although, it wasn’t his friend who attended that day; her father was in charge of the shop at that hour, and gave him a small smile at seeing him enter.

“Hello! I am looking for some flowers, but… I do not know which to buy,” the boy exclaimed, looking at every plant with all of his attention.

“That depends who you want to give the flowers to. A girlfriend, maybe?” Inoichi wondered, and Lee almost chuckled at hearing his words. “Maybe they’re from yourself. Those are the things you have to consider.”

“Well… I want to confess my love for someone! I know he likes sunflowers, but I wanted to surprise him with something new.”

Inoichi got up from his seat and walked towards colorful flowers, looking for specific ones without saying much… until he found what he wanted, in different hues of red and pink.

“I think some tulips might help. They symbolize love just as roses, but those are pretty common gifts,” the man commented, making a small bouquet and giving it to his companion. “They grow even if you cut them. Giving these to him is like saying ‘my love for you is eternal.’”

A huge smile appeared on Lee's face that didn't disappear even after exiting the shop. It was perfect! All he had to do now was find the best moment to give the bouquet to Neji, but…

If he waited too much the tulips would die, and he didn't want that. So Lee decided to do what any ninja would do: sneak into the Hyuga Compound, making sure Neji would receive his gift no matter what.

[d3l3t3d-deactivated]

random niche inner turmoil ahead (tw: sh)

When I started doing drag 3 years ago, I was a horribly depressed, anxious, lonely, cis lesbian who was getting out of a bad relationship. I spent half my time living in a dorm with a roommate who didn't like me, and the other half with my parents who abused me. I viewed drag as a outlet for my anger, an alternative to self harm (while still having really self destructive practices in drag), a way to express my queerness & masculinity, and a personification of the villain I had been made to feel like I was my whole life up to that point. I was deeply sheltered, and had a fascination with what I knew of raves & nightlife from comics and the internet, however had never actually experienced it firsthand being under 21. I developed a character who was this aggressively straight, washed up, gay for pay, dirty scumbag scene guy. He was womanizing, unhinged, & violent, deeply inspired by my own struggles with relationships, abuse, & suppressed masculinity/queerness. The man was a ghost, constantly dying/on the brink of death, because I myself wanted to be dead. Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Dot Dot Curve, Brokencyde, like, every Wes Craven movie, basically anything hilariously violent and grotesque was my inspiration. This was Shean King.

Over three years later, So much has changed. I've learned to manage my emotions, the anger, the anxiety, the depression, they are still battles I fight every day, but I've learned to cope and regulate myself, and would consider myself a pretty happy guy. I've come out as trans, and live life every day as a gay man who loves drag. I've got friends, weird queer friends who I love for who they are and they return that love a million times over. I've moved away from my parents, rarely speak to them, and am learning to recognize abuse and cut the people who hurt me from my life. I club, I travel, I pursue what makes me happy and abandon what makes me suffer, and am living my life in a way 19 year old me couldn't have ever imagined. Basically, I'm a completely different guy now, and the outlet that Shean King was is obsolete. The hurt, the loneliness, & the suffering I faced during that time will never stop being a part of me, but that part is so so small now, that I don't need this punching bag imaginary friend to cope & build confidence. I've coped, I'm confident, so what now?

I feel like I'm at such a transitional point in my drag. Shean King is no longer a character I play, he's just me. My friends don't call me Nat, they call me Shean! The character of "Shean King" has become something totally different, and I'm trying to figure out what I want out of an alter-ego. I want to explore fashion, I want to be the biggest faggot I possibly can be, I want to make weird, balls-to-the-wall art, I want to feel affirmed in my gender while still exporting parts i don't get to in my day-to-day life, I want to be a force of nature, I want to be a figure in this incredible community, I want to be beloved, and show my art to the whole world, I want to feel like a fucking drop dead beautiful supermodel rock star. My art is now about joy in being trans, joy in being part of a vast, loving community, standing up for myself and others, and being a crossdressing freak and loving every second of it. My character is young, fresh, larger than life, colorful, faggy, and still inspired by the early internet age, absurdist humor, and the comedy of clout-chasing-attention-whoring, but not defined by it. Early in my drag I thought of myself as a black-and-white horror comic antagonist, but today I think I'm like a CGI popstar or something. I'm some kind of vocaloid, I'm daft punk, I'm the Cresendolls, but like the next generation of this idea. I'm tired of living life in black and white.

All this being said, I wonder if the label of "drag king" still fits for what I'm doing. Lately I've been being invited to all king group chats, collectives, shows, hangouts, and the likes and feeling like the odd man out. I've been being referred to as an "AFAB performer" as a synonym for "Drag Kings & Bio Queens" which I have to say I HATE. It's well meaning but nonetheless poor langue that just makes me feel like shit. These "all king" spaces are exactly that, well meaning but make me feel like shit. A lot of drag kings are trans masc, and a lot are queer cis women as well. This makes "all kings" spaces unintentionally segregated by genitals, the EXACT OPPOSITE of what drag should stand for. Why would I want to be in a space void of drag queens? My boyfriend is a queen! Many of my best friends are queens! Are we segregating a space by style of artwork, or assigned gender at birth? I'm deeply uninterested in recreating the gender binary but ~opposite~, and additionally, I do NOT want to be thought of as a "woman dressing as a man". I am a man in drag. I love drag queens, and kings, and things, and DRAG. Being a drag queen feels so open as well, there's bearded queens, and monster queens, and there's something affirming too about the idea that as a man, when i'm in drag I'm a queen. My drag as it is is already such a femme portrayal of masculinity, I'm some faggot-ass scene guy, I'm a supermodel, I'm an experimental artist, if the "character" of shean was in drag he'd be a queen. I had to ask myself, If I were to start drag tomorrow, what would I be? And if I started drag tomorrow, I'd be a queen.

So why can't I start drag tomorrow? A core foundation of my art is to be free, to experience joy and do whatever I want. I've told myself over and over that as soon as drag stops being fun, I'll quit. Well, being the sad, lonely, washed-up scene guy has stopped being fun, so I quit! I want to have my art be as vibrant and full of life as I am. I've built up a bit of a legacy for myself already, I've hosted shows, won 3 competitions, gotten big bookings, and made a name for myself! Myself, Shean King! But the fears holding me back from making this switch are loosing the legacy I've built up for myself, loosing the weird horror-comic style that made me unique, and not being taken seriously as a queen-- being seen still as that cursed term, "an AFAB performer" or just "experimenting with queen drag". The thing is, I don't expect my drag to change all that much as a result of this new label. I expect my drag to change and grow with me, and I expect myself to become more seasoned and skilled with makeup, costumes, and performance as time goes on, however the core of it all (ME!) remains the same. I'm still designing the costumes, making the mixes, writing the poems & captions, everything goes through the filter that is me. Additionally, I don't really express an exaggerated version of ANY gender in drag I think. I'm just a guy in weird costumes, I do draw on a shitty little mustache, but that's about it, and I don't plan to stop. Really all that is changing in my mind is the label, the presentation of it all. A label that feels more open and less dysphoric for me. A label I won't have to explain to people. I guess another fear of mine is people feeling like I "betrayed" kingness in a way. I know there are younger kings who look up to me as a drag king, and I know there are older kings who look upon me with pride, knowing they paved the way for me to be there. And that's true, they did, and I love and loved being a drag king, but above that I love being a drag artist and a trans man, and I want to do what's best for me in and out of drag, not just in it.

[starringkarter]

excuse me did you see rainer dawn hanging around palmwood studios? oh no, that was karter kinecaid, the twenty-one year old who plays joshua gilly on the vampire books. yeah, you know rumour has it they’re manipulative and vindictive , but their fans all say they’re selfless and charitable. the soundtrack to their life would probably be conceited by sza, and when i think of them, i think of plaid buttonups, polaroid film, designer sunglasses . ( male, he/him ) ( sunset, he/him, 21, cst)

under the cut is a full breakdown and introduction into the self-proclaimed heartthrob of the vampire books, karter kinecaid. i am open for plots and interactions as well. if you want to plot, don’t be afraid to message me.​

full name: karter kinecaid

nicknames: kart, cade, the x factor

age: twenty-one

gender & pronouns: cismale. he/him

face claim: rainer dawn

sexuality: homosexual

eye color: blue

hair color: dishwater blonde

height: 6′0″

date of birth: june 26th, 2001

zodiac sign: cancer

occupation: actor

relationship status: single

notable exes: none

hometown: los angeles, california

"yo, it’s karter here, you might already know who i am since i’m on your tv every week as joshua gilly. you know, the vampire books, the only show worth watching. you’re a fan, i know. anyway, since you’re here and you obviously want to know a little more about me . . . let’s talk about the most important person on this planet  — me. if you didn’t know, i was born and raised right here in los angeles. i had a pretty dope upbringing, man. my mom and current manager was this kick-ass lawyer and we had this house on the beach that had a beautiful view of the ocean. i’d wake up to the smell of seasalt and eggs. my mom is an amazing cook, you should try some of her sushi  — it’s out of this world. anyway, i didn’t always want to be an actor but after i got this standing ovation during an elementary school play, she insisted that i didn’t waste my talent. i started doing bit roles and commercials while attending high school. as you can imagine, people started treating me like shit cause i was quite popular. so, i got into my fair share of fights and won a good bulk of them but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t get my ass handed to me a few times. after a while, my mom pulled me out and homeschooled me so that i could focus on my career.

i ended up landing this reoccurring role on this small teen drama as the boyfriend of this one male character and that was how i found out i was gay. i dated my co-star for a few months before we ended things due to me leaving the series. i guess you could say he was my first experience in dating in the industry. it was fun but he was the star of the show so you can imagine all the tabloids and media attention. he was a sweet guy but i didn’t want to well-known for being someone’s boyfriend. i needed my own spotlight. after that, i did a few more bit roles until i graduated high school. it was shortly after that my mom managed to get the script for the pilot for the vampire books and the rest is history. working at palmwood is definitely interesting . . . it’s not for the faint of heart. if you don’t have a passion to be the best of the best, you will not last. oh . . . the rumors, you want to talk about the rumors. well, i can confirm anything or my mom will have my head but i am a wild child. i do whatever i feel like and fuck the consequences. it’s put a bit of a target on my back but you only live once, right? anyway, it looks like our time is up. thanks for stopping by for this exclusive interview. make sure you watch the vampire books exclusively on the palmwood studios app.”

- He is somewhat stable but does have moments were his temperamental and will lash out at anyone.

- He likes to think that he’s the topic of every conversation and doesn’t like to be told otherwise.

- Has a habit of staring at others while dating and has a hard time being faithful, though very good at hiding his indiscretion.

- He has a bit of a strained relationship with his mother due to him wanting to expand his resume and her preventing him from doing so.

- He can be very friendly and sociable, but he has a very dark, calculating, and dark side to him.

[briamichellewrites]

73

Dave was exhausted by the time he arrived home from San Diego. Mike inquired about his recent visit with his brother's family. He responded that he had a good time, for the most part. He had driven out there to settle their mother's estate. She distributed everything evenly between them, Joe and Anne, as well as the grandchildren. They would not argue about anything. After visiting the probate lawyer, they ate lunch before he drove home. How did it go hanging out with Bradford?

It was quite interesting. He asked what he meant. Was there any gossip to spread? Yes, there was. He was the first person to learn about it. That gave him an advantage over Joe. Dave was interested in hearing about the gossip. He sat down at the kitchen counter, anticipating.

"Rob and Bradford are dating. That is number one. Number two is Bradford got a girl pregnant. He is going to step up and accept responsibility as a father."

"Oh, my God! We all knew Rob admired him! Of course, they would start dating in secret! What does that mean?”

"Rob identifies as gay. Knowing him, he will not tell us unless he believes we should know. Bradford considers himself bisexual. When we get back together, he will come out."

Bradford was not the type of person to have a one-night stand. Long-term relationships were more appealing to him. He did not make this decision while intoxicated. Instead, it was a moment of weakness. He had forgotten to wear a condom. What was her name? Elisa Boren. He had met her at a vegan restaurant. They sat down at a table together and began talking. She invited him to her house.

That is where things got heated up. He received a call from her stating that she was pregnant. They met at a cafe, where she showed him proof of her pregnancy. She was six weeks. He had no idea what to say as he took in the news. The first thought that came to his mind was responsibility. He was not going to walk away from his baby. He was determined to be a good father. She cried tears of joy and relief because she expected him to leave.

No, he was better raised than that. Rob did not want children, but he understood that Bradford was going to be a father.

“A vegan restaurant?” He joked, "That is where I should have looked."

"You are not helping."

"Taking care of a baby is probably more difficult than taking care of a kitten."

"Yes, you want to trade?"

"I am okay. I was considering getting a kitten."

Mowgli was interested in learning more about the kitten. He approached his human and sat beside him on the couch. Hopefully, the kitten and he will get along well. He meowed, offering his opinion. Instead, his head was scratched. It was not what he wanted, but he was content with it. Bradford was briefly distracted by the mention of a kitten.

Stay in the present moment. This was Rob's advice. It significantly reduced his anxiety. He occasionally found something small, such as a picture on a wall. He paid close attention to the details, such as the shapes and colors. Until he began to feel calm and relaxed. If he appeared to be "zoned out," that was exactly what he was doing. Bradford remained speechless as he reflected on what he had said. Yes, that is something he would have to try. He thanked him because he would never considered it.

“You’re welcome.”

When Dave heard the gossip, he could not help but laugh. It was exactly what he needed after a long day. Joe would eventually find out. He was so quiet, they frequently forgot he was in the room with them. That allowed him to hear a lot of gossip within the band. When he found out, everyone else did too! They jokingly dubbed him a "ninja". Congratulations, Rob and Brad!

They were not sure how their relationship would work once the baby arrived, but that was between them. Brad returned home looking as if he had had a bad day. They inquired as to what had gone wrong. What happened in the hospital? He could not discuss it because he was still processing it. That did not sound good, but they chose not to ask any further questions. Instead, they fed the animals that were begging at their feet. He sat down at the counter and observed everything.

It was a difficult day, no doubt, but it had nothing to do with Bria. He was suspicious that his ex-wife was going to the tabloids and discussing their marriage. She denied it, and he could not prove it. What exactly was she saying? She was accusing him of making it appear that she did not want children. That was not true. They tried but were unsuccessful. She had multiple miscarriages.

"She is photographed in the tabloids holding her stomach, as if she were pregnant."

"You think she is doing it for attention?" Dave asked.

"Yes, I do. She is aware of the cameras' presence. There were times when I thought she was calling the paparazzi because they seemed to follow us everywhere. People adore her, and I am despised because I requested a divorce."

He apologized for venting about his ex-wife. They told him not to. They wanted to know what was going on with him. He sighed before thanking them. He was cautious when he first started hanging out with Bria because he had no idea what she was up to. Then, he saw that she was nothing like Jennifer or Gwyneth Paltrow, an undiagnosed and out-of-touch narcissist. They shared a laugh.

Bria was a genuine woman. That is why they adored her. Speaking of Bria, she finally broke down. She was reminded of the shooting. She remembered the sound of people screaming and the smell of blood. A social worker from the hospital approached her and spoke with her.

"She stated that during trauma, the mind goes into fight or flight mode. Even after the trauma is over, the mind needs time to process that it is safe. After that, it begins processing what occurred. It could take several hours or even days. During that time, the victim may act normally. It is a late response. She believes this is what happened to Bria.

"That makes lots of sense. I had never considered it that way. We assumed she was simply handling the situation differently than we would. When she gets home, I will have her schedule a therapy appointment. She already has PTSD, and I do not want this to exacerbate her trauma," Mike explained.

“When you wanna give up, and your heart's about to break. Remember that you're perfect, God makes no mistakes” – Bon Jovi

Today, I burst into tears as everything came back to me. I remembered hearing screams and smelling blood. Brad and I spoke with a hospital social worker. She was extremely helpful in explaining how trauma responses can be delayed for days, weeks, or even years following a traumatic event. When the mind senses danger, it enters fight or flight mode.

During that time, it prevents your mind from remembering what is going on. After a traumatic event, it may take some time to recover from fight or flight. For some people, it happens right away. When a person is certain that they are safe, the mind begins to function "normally." That is when you have to face your trauma. I will be returning to therapy, as recommended by the social worker and Brad, to help me through this. I cannot self-medicate with heroin. I need to "woman up" and deal with this situation.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

6.8.24 Saturday

7:10 am

Still,have windblow...

Just woke up few minutes ago coz nana called me to hold Neko coz Jerome ( one of the siblings of Aunt Karen) will get the trash can coz the track collector was there outside awhile ago...

Before I forget, Uncle DD and Aunt Karen are not around with their car this am...

Drinking my coffee this am... I will tell something important here coz I was really religious and I wasn't fake....

But I don't wanna hide my true emotions deep inside me...

7:28 am

Just scanning the general hall as always and read about this Dr. MARK SCHERZ a herpertologist. It is just fun to read his piece about reptlies and amphibians... What do you think of yourself? If you need to choose between reptilies and amphibians? Hmm.... I think I wanna be a crocodile or aligator which you can be the king of the water, I think so... Or to simply eat bad human beings... About the frogs, well I think I need to search for different kinds of frogs before I can actually tell which one, I'am...

I suddendly remember a sanrio character that is a frog it is "Kero-Keroppi" I also like it but my favorite was "Hello Kitty".

So, probably I can say I'm kind of "Kero-keroppi" frog originated from Sanrio Land hahah... I told someone that I was a frog coz of being poorish but I actually came from Sanrio Land.

♡♡♡

This phrase from: GOOGLE--Facts about Frogs.

"In general, frogs have protruding eyes, no tail, and strong, webbed hind feet that are adapted for leaping and swimming".-- google

Hmm... It is good to describe yourself as a frog sometimes coz its eyes is protruding like an owl eyes but sometimes it is just sad coz it has no tail??? I want tails in a way... But frogs got a backbone... Good thing!

Webbed hind feet, I can basically swim but my feet are supposed to be for leaping... But I'm stuck here just for nothing... Sad thing now...

Supposed to be I'm going to share my religious heart back then... But I always check the general hallway here and it caught my attention the post of herpetologist even his life experience...That he is enjoying his "field kitchen"... He loves documenting. Good for him...

On the other side of the world. I wonder where is my bestfriend or my best gf during college ( mitch-mitch )... I wonder where where is she? I always love her and always want to bring her inside the Sanrio Land.

In Sanrio Land you will always be colorful and gay and something special whatever you are...

I also want art and planning to be an artist... I aged for nothing and I don't wanna be ugly,fat and wrinkled and nothing...

But I miss you Mitch... I don't know... Hoping we can be on screen??? I don't know Dr. Mitch???

9:23 am

Uncle DD is here just telling nana that they will clean the terrace... They will throw our old rattan sofa coz it is already damage there on the terrace as well as my bike exercise machine, my punching bag and my abs equipment... So sad that I have to buy again... I have to have my own place hoping and praying. I wanna exercise so much and feel fit and pretty at all times coz I'm aging... I miss going to gym and I wanna have my own space in the house as well where I can always do stretching.

Our house here is really old but spacious but barren, in a way...It is sad I wasn't able to save my exercise machines here... Our terrace is open space, I mean there is no roof there... I put my exercise machines, it rained from the previous months and years...

Uncle DD, Harvey, Jerome and Kuya Bong are clearing the terrace now...

Harvey has teeth braces, another brother of Aunt Karen. I wanna go back to dentist again,angels... I feel self-pity coz I wanna redo my teeth coz of my amalgams. Good thing, I'm not smoking...

9:44 am

The reason why, I switched to yoga mat exercise lifestyle... It is helpful and effective... The cardio is so good while having small spaces... You can still be healthy...

But I still have my punching gloves...

11:50 am

Done,eating lunchie... Uncle DD's gang gave us a monggo...

Thank God for the food but I wanna go back to have plenty of food and I wanna do some healthy food.. I feel super self-pity and will tell more about my religious and envious heart, in a lil while... I need to have coffee...

12:28 noon

Few seconds ago...I just remind Uncle DD that Neko doesn't have a water inside her cage coz I care for Neko... Uncle DD said that he will be the one to take charge of Neko.

Still,thinking of money and I don't know how to pay my creditz???

It's 3010 pesoses already on Ely,a bit more before the singing part if I can't pay him...

GoodLick or Goodluck on my Tala Loan...

1:10 pm

Still,have windblow...

Still, thinking of money & job and waiting for account on Teleperformance....17 years of being unfairly flatten... How I wish I can be famous and have some money and get breast implants and nose perfection and I wanna feel pretty and adored,these are some parts of my deep inside.

I posted awhile ago that I will share my religious and my envious heart here. Since I was a kid I was born inside the "Church Of Christ",I was active but on my adult years that I have this windblow,they didn't even care about me...

Time that I was on my teenager years, specifically when I turned 13 here and got by my adoptive parent's or I was passed by here, by my biological mother on her younger sister who is married to a japanese... We were both became active in the choir of "Church of Christ".

Being a choir member and active inside the "Church of Christ" it doesn't mean that I'm an angel or a perfect piece of flesh there at the top of seats inside the church. Or I think we seated at the top "benches" inside the chapel or church.

I mean I have to clean my heart everytime we will sing there at the "top benches" ... I know I was cute and always a muse since I was a kid but there were days that I accidentally blackened my skin and some days that our lives were like hellish time that I was with my biological mother but I was as well spoiled on material stuff.

To make the explantion clear, time that I blackened myself, time that I need to recover, my adoptive mother or Aunt Teresa wanted me to pray and embrace my choirmates or churchmates. Gets?

I remember this particular choirmate that I had with named Ate ( older sister ) Joy, I think she is just 2 years older than me. We just met in the church of christ chapel in area 1 here before we had have the chapel in area G.

A lot of our choirmates were saying something negative about her behaviour. They actually spied on her whenever she couldn't attend the church choir service. Joy is taller than me, skinnier than me, prettier than me and she is already an adult that time that she was 18 or 19 and I was still a child like 7 though I'm already 17...

But we first met when I was 13,my skin was black and I was not yet aware of my looks coz my life wasn't perfect before that....So, for a couple of those years,I was black but then active in the church and singing beside Joy who was and still pretty until now... Some people in the church were rolling their eyes on her coz she was pretty and a mature teenager who got dates and going out with men and friends... Time that I was still an innocent child, that I also see her a pretty girl that some of our churchmates hated her and I was quiet and being supportive on Joy to wear skirts above the knees... Stuff like that those were the issues... I always pray beside her coz she is somehow stubborn but I'm a fair person not only being religious but mainly my aunt Teresa told me to pray and embrace my churchmates and never fight with Joy. I also had the tendency to feel that jealousy on her but I always pray whenever she is beside me that "Oh! God please balance my heart though I'm starting to feel the monster inside my soul, please remove any hatred in me on Ate Joy whenever the evil is here with me.Make me pretty one day and I need to whiten my skin again and prettify myself and make me rightful in your eyes oh! God, in the name of Jesus, Amen".

That was part of my prayer whenever Joy was with me in the church.

I told Joy that it was cool for me if she is wearing a mini-skirt not actually mini-skirt but just above the knees, for me it was still fine and decent coz it was just "above the knees". Ate Joy/ Joy was perfectionist during her teenage years like 17 to 20.She has nice skinny legs and nice smooth skin. In fairness she told me that she wanted to remove her scar on her hand it was just really small but I was just smiling at her coz she was vain.

In reality, I was just allowed to fix my skin on my face I used to do some facial routine in "dermclinic" when I turned 14 until college,then I bleached my skin every now and then, I just bleached it then I returned my skin into white again,just like these days but I can't afford to bleach but hoping I can still buy Kojic soap most specially the Beauche brand. Then, I need to fix and brush my teeth as always and Aunt Teresa told me not to smoke. Just take care of my armpits and my hygiene but she never actually guided me on any hidden parts coz I was supposed to be a doctor. My adoptive mother / Aunt Teresa always check my teeth and my skin on my face and my hygiene. Just be fit, exercise if I hate being fat... Stuff like that... Joy was really a skinny, tall girl, and pretty as well... Joy was perfect on her physical aspect even on her inguinal part and butt...

But now, I truly became conscious and I'm 17 but 45 and I wanna be on a different angle of being a mature woman.... Now, I feel irritated and conscious and fat and ugly and old for nothing...

See, it is so difficult to be religious. But I've learned yin-yang and I have to know everything and balance and fight fairly...

2:18 pm

Still,have windblow...

Life is a case by case...Now, I wanted vanity and I will fight for it... I want to have a different twist this time... I wanna be a more mature woman...

Allow me angels to have a ticket for it, for you to have it as well....For those guilty who took my 17 years... I really wanna do "nose perfection" and if I can get breast implant, I wanna have it...

2:41 pm

Still, have windblow...

Now, I'm longing to have moment that people will see me that I'm pretty...But I need a job and money...

I feel self-pity... I do feel ugly and fat and I wanna travel...I need money...

11:30 pm

Still,have windblow...

I feel bitterish... I feel hurt and still hating ManaloZ group, I sense an unfair thing... I just don't like the thing that I don't have a position that I was the genuine child of God. I hate being a supporter or simply a fan for 17 years that I didn't get any spot for me to be known or get some fair spotlight...

Bittersweet on Church Of Christ... Some things are meant to end coz they hurt me so much!

[lebenspurpur]

AN: Helloo, I am not dead!! :3

Pairing: Vincent Sinclair x reader

Summary: You enjoy the domestic life with the boys.

Warnings: None, I think, I didn't proof read this, and it's also bad.

Wordcount: 1278 words

🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

40s music echoes through the small cinema, happy swing that you can just imagine your grandparents dancing to. It's a bizarre contrast to the corpses, the people encased in wax. Their happy expressions would never be able to showcase the pain they felt during their last few moments.

The latest one is a man. He's tall, taller than you anyway, with dark hair and soft eyes that would melt any person's heart. Well, not anymore you guess.

You and Vincent always called him Jake during his creation process. Not only did he look a typical Jake, he also had the demeanour of a Jake. With that you mean, he played football, he liked to go on frat parties, and he thought hugging his friends was gay. Being gay was the biggest sin ever, at least to him.

Vincent had fun with him anyway. He was ecstatic during the work process, only really leaving the workshop to pass out for a few hours of sleep and then gulp down a can of coffee and an entire pound of grapes.

You helped him carry Jake up to the cinema. Not that he needed help, but you always like to watch him place the latest tourists. He always looks so proud, like a dad sending their kid to school. It was nice seeing Vincent happy and somewhat confident for once.

Right now you're watching your tall lover fret over a small scratch in the wax. It's adorable, seeing him fuss over his art. Vincent is always so focused, so caring when it comes to his work. It's inspiring to see how much work he puts into what he does.

He fixed the scratch already, and is now walking backwards, hands extended to immediately save his new baby, should it randomly fall.

It looks slightly amusing and you giggle at his concentrated expression. Hearing the sound, Vincen turns around. Thanks to the "Phantom of the opera" kind of half-face-mask you made him wear, you can see the proud but exhausted smile on his face and man, it fills you with pure excitement.

'I think he's gonna do well here.', he signs as he walks closer, fingers shaking a bit due to the excitement of another long project finished.

"He looks great!", you compliment, "He fits very well to Lizzy."

You point to another statue, this time a young woman, dressed in a pink dress that matches her pink bag, and the collar of her little dog friend. Vincent spent whole days on that dog, trying to get every single hair look good. It frustrated both, you and him, and you still remember the huge relief upon finding out he finished it.

'Yeah, and the light falls very good here, it makes him look intimidating in a way, strong, and you know, the color of the curtain matches well with the green blazer you chose, I didn't think it'd look that convincing but it's really aesthetically pleasing and-'

You can't help but grin as Vincent keeps rambling about the piece, nearly exploding with motivation and excitement. His signing is unusually rushed and shaky and you can feel him vibrate with pride as he skips over to you.

Your hand finds his arms and you lovingly squeeze the muscle as he arrives next to you.

"It looks really, really good, Vince. I'm really proud of you, if that means anything."

Apparently it does. Vincent grins, it's so bright it nearly blinds you. Man, you can't describe how happy that makes you.

He turns around a last time, eye shining with seldom seen pride before he absentmindedly takes your hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly.

"How 'bout a snack, hm?", you ask, knowing that if you stay here any longer, you'll never get away.

He nods, you know he hasn't paid attention to a word you just said, and you tenderly drag him out of the room, step by step.

It takes a few seconds but soon, he realises what you want and chuckles while gripping your hand tighter.

You nozzle closer into his side while your steps boom through the echoey space of the foyer.

"I'm really glad it turned out this good. You know how much I love it when you allow yourself to be proud.", you mention, eyes watching him cautiously.

Vincent's eye finds yours and he nods, adoration visible in the azure. You know he'd like to sign an answer but one of his hands is captured by yours, so he settles with another sweet squeeze of your fingers.

It's silent while you walk up to the house, there's no need for words. Vincent's still astonished about the success of his latest accomplishment, and you're busy admiring his concentrated expression, framed by a few silken black strands of hair that escaped his hair-tie. The usual.

The door is open when you arrive, you can hear Bo's radio running inside. It makes Vincent chuckle next to you, before he leaves your side, most likely to tell his twin about his latest success.

Smiling, you close the door with a thud. Last week, Bo threw a tantrum and threw it shut and ever since, it doesn't close properly. A damn shame. Especially because you know no one is ever going to fix it.

Shrugging your thin jacket off, you make your way to the kitchen. You're greeted with the sight of Vincent excitedly signing to his twin, and Bo looking rather disinterested inside his beer can.

Grinning, you greet him, and his expression changes to a surprised one before he sends a genuine smile your way. A year ago, that would've been a reason to celebrate. You're really glad Bo has decided to warm up to you.

"Boys..?", Vincent's signing halts and he sends an angry pout your way. Trying not to laugh, you raise your hands in an apology, "You can continue in a second Vinny, is pasta alright with the two of you?"

Vincent just nods and shakes his hand in your direction - a dismissal.

Chuckling, you start working on the food, soon the twins across of you are forgotten as your mind wanders off... - and comes back just as fast when two icy hands slide beneath your shirt.

Gasping loudly, you turn around and are faced with a shit-eating grin.

"Vincent, I swear to god.", you lightly slap him with the towel in your hand, "One day I will accidentally stab you."

Vincent just laughs your statement off and retreats to lift himself onto the counter.

The two of you are interrupted by Lester, who is now home too, and excitedly skips over to press a chaste kiss on your cheek.

"Honey, I'm home!", he grins and lifts the lid of the pot on the stove, a aromatic smell immediately fills the small kitchen, "Naw, sweet cheeks, ya didn't have to cook. You're treatin' me like a god, sugar."

"Welcome home, Les.", you grin at the younger brother while Vincent rolls his eyes theatrically, "Care to put some plates on the table?"

"Anythin' for you, sweetiepie.", he winks and skips out of the room while you chuckle at his adorable behaviour.

A few minute later, the boys are all seated, and all eyes shift to you, carrying the pot inside and setting it down on the table.

"Here ya go, boys..", you shrug off the oven gloves and thankful smiles are sent your way as the brothers dig in.

While they eat, you look around, letting your gaze wander over the men you started calling family. A familiar warm feeling of nostalgia and gratefulness bubbles in your stomach and you can't help but grin.

You feel home.

[euovennia]

Decisions - C. C. Imagine

summary: in which carlisle faces the wrath of his former lover after abandoning her

pairing: fem!reader x carlisle

word count: 5,314 (can you tell i got carried away?)

request: could you maybe do one for carlisle where the reader and him have a massive argument like proper slamming doors shouting and he asks edward to help him (with the mind reading and that) with making up with the reader? i hope that makes sense hahah😂i’m in LOVE with your writing 🤩

---

“Thank you for dinner tonight, Eugene. It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve been out like this so I appreciate it.” The woman spoke softly, the edges of her eyes crinkling slightly due to the smile that adorned her face. “It only feels like it’s been a while because it has been a while, Y/N.” The man teased as he looked down at the woman beside him. Her cheeks tinted a light pink color and it was at this moment she was thankful for the darkness of the night that enveloped the car the two were sat in. “Right. Look, I really am sorry about all of that. I was just,” She let out a sigh as she looked down at her hands, “I don’t really know actually.” She finished quietly. The man’s lips pressed into a thin line as his grip on the steering wheel tightened ever so slightly. Letting out a small sigh he responded, “You were just heartbroken. It’s normal, especially after something like that.” He muttered, his tone noticeably more annoyed causing her to frown. “Yeah. I guess that’s what happens when you’re thrown to the side like trash.” She muttered, a small smile tugging at her lips despite the pessimistic thoughts that began to infiltrate her mind.

Pulling into her driveway and parking the car, the man rested a hand on her thigh as he looked over at her once more, “You’re not trash, Y/N. You didn’t deserve what he did to you. He made his choice to leave….Now you just have to make your choice to get back out there and take your life back.” She let out a small sigh as she rested one of her hands on top of the one that was on her thigh, “I know, but it’s still hard. I mean, some days I feel like I’m completely fine and that I can take on the world but other days…Other days I can’t help but feel like he dodged a bullet leaving the way he did. Who knows, maybe he saw something wrong with me that I can’t see and decided it was too much for him.” Hearing her dejected tone the man only frowned, “I won’t lie and say I know how you feel because I honestly don’t. What I do know is that you can’t let his choices dictate your life. He made his decision and it’s about time you made yours. I just want what’s best for you, everyone does.” The woman began to chew on her lip as she allowed the weight of the words from her friend to sink into her mind. “I guess that’s fair. Maybe I have been sulking around a bit longer than I should be.” “It’s been five months, Y/N. I think you’ve done more than enough sulking for the year.” She nodded silently before pulling her hand away from his and tugging her purse up to rest on her lap. “I’m pretty tired so I think I’m gonna head to bed now. Thank you again for dragging me out of the house tonight, Gene. I really did enjoy everything. Maybe we can do it again sometime soon,” She suggested, a small burst of confidence bubbling in her chest. Eugene’s face lit up with a smile as he nodded eagerly, “Definitely. Just let me know when you want to go. I’ll be waiting.” She smiled as she leaned over the console to give him a brief hug before pulling away and promptly exiting the car. She closed the door and gave the man a small wave before making her way into her small house. She dropped her belongings at the door and kicked her shoes off before dragging herself to her bedroom and throwing herself onto the bed as she immediately tugged a warm blanket over her body. She laid still for a moment as she stared blankly at the ceiling before rolling over and digging around in her bedside drawer before her hand came into contact with a familiar piece of paper. She hastily pulled it out and sat up as she began to unfold the paper and skim her eyes over the words that were elegantly written onto the paper. My love, I am writing this letter to you with a fearful mind and heavy heart as I am not quite sure how you will react. It is without a doubt that you are the one who has stolen my heart and who I will love and cherish unconditionally for the rest of my existence which only makes writing this even more painful. Even with this burden, I must carry on. It’s come to my, and the family’s attention, that our presence in Forks will only bring nothing but pain and suffering to both you and Bella. It is because of this that we must leave. Believe me when I say there is no other way. This is for your and Bella’s safety. My only regret is that I will not be able to hold you in my arms and gaze into your loving eyes one last time before we leave, but I know if I did I would only stay and I cannot do that to you or my family. I hope to meet with you again, my love. Yours forever, Carlisle “Yours forever.” She spoke, a bitter edge mixed in with her tone. She let out a scoff as she flicked the paper over the side of her bed, not bothering to check where it landed. She fell back onto her mattress as she once again began to stare aimlessly at the ceiling above. If only forever actually meant something.

Three Months Later

“Thank you for taking time out of your day and meeting with me, it truly means a lot,” Y/N spoke, a bright smile on her face as she shook hands with the mother who was holding tightly onto her child beside her. “Absolutely! You already know I’m more than happy to meet up with you at any time. Thank you for reaching out. I’ll make sure everything gets taken care of as soon as possible.” Y/N nodded as she looked down to the child who clung tightly to his mother’s side, “I’ll see you on Monday, kiddo. Have a great evening!” The child gave her a timid smile as he spoke up, “You too Ms. L/N!” The woman’s smile only widened before bidding the pair a goodbye. Hearing her classroom door close, she took a seat in her chair as she leaned forward to get a closer look at the classwork of her fourth-period class. Letting out a small sigh, she grabbed her blue pen and began her daily routine of monotonous grading. After what felt like an eternity, she heard her classroom door swing open causing her to look up from the stack of classwork that seemed to significantly lower in height since starting. “I figured you’d still be here. I got us some Chinese!” Eugene spoke as he held up the bag of takeout like a trophy in his hands. “Thank goodness. I really didn’t want to get home and have to cook. It’s been a long day.” The woman groaned as she pushed the stack of paperwork to the side as Eugene placed the styrofoam container into her hands. She quickly opened up the box and began to eat to her heart's content as she watched Eugene struggle with his chopsticks. “I’m not quite sure why you get those if you haven’t figured you how to use them after nearly two years. I think you should just give up.” She remarked before taking a bite of veggie roll dipped in duck sauce she’d expertly acquired with her own pair of chopsticks. Eugene let out a scoff as he turned to face her, “Well sorry I can’t be perfect at everything I do. Not my fault no one taught me how to use these things.” He muttered with a frown on his face. She let out a hearty laugh, “I’ve offered to teach you numerous times, you just refuse to let me help you out.” “I refuse because I’m a strong, independent man. I don’t need to rely on no woman.” She smirked, “If I didn’t know you were gay, I’d think you have some vendetta against women.” “Vendetta? Against women? Please, a woman could spit on me and I’d apologize for bothering her.” He scoffed. Her eyes glinted with mischief as she stared at him with a brow quirked up, “Good to know. Very good to know.” He rolled his eyes before throwing a packet of soy sauce at her, “Oh be quiet. You know you could never do that to me. You love me too much.” “Sadly. Now, hurry up and finish eating. I wanna get home already.” He shook his head as he closed the takeout container, “I’m actually not all that hungry tonight so we can go now.” The woman only nodded in response as the pair began to clean up and gather their belongings before heading out of the classroom and over to his car. --- Pulling into her driveway, he put the car into park as Eugene turned to look at the woman beside him. “I know we just ate dinner together, but you wanna grab something to eat tomorrow?” She pondered for a moment before nodding with a small smile, “Yeah we can. You know I love being with you.” “Everyone does, they just don’t want to admit it.” She rolled her eyes playfully before reaching over the console and giving him a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Text me the details. I’ll see you later, Gene.” He quickly returned her affection as he nodded, “I will. Have a good evening, Y/N.” She gave him a smile before getting out of the car and closing the door behind her. She gave him a parting wave as she watched him pull out of her driveway and away from her house. With a content sigh, she walked up to her front door and twisted the knob, shock coming over her features as the door swung open with ease. I never leave the door unlocked. Feeling a sense of unease beginning to creep up on her, she tucked her keys between her knuckles as she slowly stepped into her house making sure to rake her eyes over every little detail in her home. With small and quiet movements, she set her bag on the ground as she silently shut the door behind her. She carefully crept into the house as she made sure to keep both her eyes and ears peeled for any suspicious sign of an intruder. Walking into her living room, she continued her slow and cautious movements before her eyes settled on her couch where a hauntingly familiar piece of fabric was strewn across the top. Gulping, she stalked closer to the couch and picked up the dark grey jacket. With shaking hands, she slowly began to unfold the jacket, her heart clenching as the familiar scent invaded her nostrils. Eyes widened and heart pounding, she whipped around to find him standing there in all his glory. “Carlisle.” She gasped out. She stared with a sense of horror and despair as she took in the sight of the man who stood only a few feet away from her. Her eyes raked over his tall, slightly muscularity and lean build that was dressed in a light blue collared button-up that was neatly tucked away beneath a sweater vest that was a shade darker than his button-up. It was paired with a pair of black jeans she had gotten him as a gift along with a pair of dress shoes that she had a feeling were new. She sucked in a sharp breath as she dared to bring her eyes up to his face that radiantly shone against the dim lighting in the living room, his golden eyes locked onto her figure that seemed frozen in place as the pair stared each other down. Neither one of them dared to break the silence as a tense feeling overcame the both of them, more specifically Y/N. Swallowing the last of her pride, she found the courage to speak first. “You’re here.” As if sensing her hesitance, Carlisle slowly nodded before gently speaking out, “Yes. There was a change in our living conditions.” Not quite knowing how to respond, the woman only nodded as she suddenly became all too aware of just how small the living room truly was. Taking in a small breath, Carlisle took a step toward her causing the woman to immediately take a step away from him. This reaction caused him to shrink back into himself as he felt a pang of hurt course through his body. I deserve that. Shaking off the rejection he opened his mouth, “Love-“ “Get out.” His eyes widened at her harsh tone as he took a moment to stare at her face. It didn’t take a genius to know that her expression was one of extreme anger and discomfort, but to know that the person who had once promised unconditional love and care for you aimed that deadly glare at you, it was disheartening, to say the least. “Y/N, I can explain-“ “Now you want to explain yourself? What, you think you can break into my house and expect everything to just be alright? Do you have any idea what you put me through just leaving like that? I spent months trying to convince myself that I still had a life worth living and you expect me to run back into your arms? I don’t think so, Carlisle.” She spits, a certain fire he had never seen burning into him as she glared at him. “I know I hurt you, but it was what the family needed. I’m sorry it came to it, but we had no other choice. I had no other choice.” She let out a scoff as she threw the jacket to the ground before walking up to him with fury in her eyes before stopping directly in front of him, “And you couldn’t tell me that in person? You had to leave a fucking note? Are you kidding me? You knew what I would think and you didn’t want to face that so you took the easy way out by tossing me to the side like trash-“ “You’re not trash-“ His sentence was once again cut short, not by her words this time, but by the sound of her hand smacking against his stone-cold cheek. Startled, Carlisle stumbled a bit as he looked to her with a look of shock and hurt visible on his face, “Did you just-“ “Yes. I slapped you Carlisle and if I’m being honest, I should do a hell of a lot more to you right now with the nerve you have showing your face around here after what you did.” He let out a sigh of annoyance as he took a step back from her, “I did it to protect you. You really think I would intentionally hurt you?” “If that was the case, you would’ve talked to me and not just left a lousy note!” She yelled. “I was protecting you, Y/N! I did what I thought was best at the time and I’m sorry if you can’t see that but I don’t regret what I did for even a second!” He yelled back as he felt himself feeding on her own anger and frustration. “If you don’t regret it then why the hell did you come crawling back here?! You should’ve just left another note on my bed and left me alone, God knows you’re great at doing that!” Carlisle let out a humorless laugh as he bit back, “What? So you can be alone with Eugene? God Y/N, if I knew how easily you could move on from me I would’ve just found some other woman to run off with!” “Don’t you dare try to blame this on me, Cullen. I wasn’t the one who decided to walk away from a perfectly good relationship-“ “Maybe it wasn’t a perfectly good relationship, Y/N! Maybe that’s why I left in the first place! Did you ever take a moment to think about how much of a pain you can be to deal with, especially as a human? How much it took to take care of you? You drive me absolutely insane and leaving you behind was probably one of the best decisions of my entire existence!” He roared out harshly. At his impassioned revelation, Y/N’s face quickly became void of all emotion as she straightened out her posture. He watched helplessly as she clenched and unclenched her jaw, a habit she did when she was trying not to lose control, especially during an argument. Feeling a pit grow in his stomach at the weight of his words, Carlisle’s face fell as he gulped. “Y/N, you know I didn’t mean-“ “I’m going to my room.” Carlisle looked up at her as his eyes slightly widened at her choice of words, “What?” “I said I’m going to my room and I won’t bother coming out until morning. If I come out and you’re still here, I won’t hesitate to call the cops and tell them about your breaking and entering stunt,” She spoke lifelessly. “Please don’t-“ “Goodnight Carlisle,” She spoke quietly before stalking off toward her bedroom. Carlisle watched her figure disappear behind the walls of her house, a sharp flinch interrupting his still frame as the walls shook from the force of her slamming her door. In all his time of knowing her, he knew she was a woman of her word and so with a heavy heart and a guilty conscience, he picked up his jacket before leaving her residence as he tried to get the sound of her heartbroken cries emitting from her room out of his head.

Next morning

Slowly stirring awake, Y/N reluctantly opened her eyes. Immediately being blinded by the light shining in from the window she regretted her decision as she screwed her eyes shut, rubbing away at her eyes with her hands as she tried to dull the stinging sensation. Once soothed, she opened her eyes once more. Furrowing her brows together, she sat up as she took a moment to sniff the air. Lips pressed into a thin line and annoyance already coursing through her veins, she shot up from her bed as she swung her door open and stormed over to the kitchen. “I told you I was going to call the cops if-Oh.“ Her sentence quickly faltered as she caught sight of Edward watching over the movements of Bella as she moved around the kitchen with a grace that Y/N could never quite master due to the fact that she was more than happy to live off of take-out than take the time out of her day to make a homemade meal for herself. “What are you doing here?” She got out, her voice suddenly feeling very small and hoarse. Edward turned to her, crinkling his nose slightly at the overwhelmingly large amount of thoughts that flooded through her head. Shoving away his own distaste for her mind at the moment, he spoke. “Carlisle said you’d call the cops if you saw him in here when you got up. You never said anything about seeing me or Bella,” At the mention of her name, Bella perked up as she turned to face the older woman with a shy smile and a small wave before turning back to the pancakes she was in the middle of making. Y/N let out a deep sigh as she rolled her eyes, “Damn him and his loopholes.” Edward gave a small smile toward the woman. While he had strong feelings about human involvement in the family’s rather odd lifestyle, it was obvious to anyone that he had grown a soft spot for the woman who had effortlessly stolen the heart of his adoptive father. While he looked to Carlisle as a father figure, it was Y/N who he saw as a mother figure. “Come on, Bella already fixed you a plate. Why don’t we sit down and talk for a bit?” By the time the words had left his mouth, he was already dragging her to the couch in the living room shoving the plate of food into her hands as he sat on the couch opposite to her. “Yes, make yourself at home.” She muttered sarcastically before stabbing her fork into a sausage and shoving it into her mouth. “Y/N-“ He started. “Why are you here, Edward?” She asked once she had finished chewing. "Alive had a vision of what happened. I just wanted to check in on you." She let out a bitter laugh as she looked up at him, "Well I'm doing just fine, Edward. Feel free to leave. Bella can stay though, these pancakes are heavenly," The woman remarked as she stabbed a fluffy pancake with her fork. "You're still in your clothes from last night and your eyes are red and puffy. Believe me when I say you look horrible." He observed. "Well your eye bags are becoming more prominent, but you don't see me rubbing that in your face now do you?" She remarked,  patience slowly beginning to wear thin. "Well, I can't exactly sleep it off. I'm literally dead." "Excuses, excuses." She waved off. Edward let out a small sigh of frustration as she continued to brush off his efforts. It was no surprise she was upset with Carlisle especially after some of the things he had said, but the disregard she had for her own feelings was annoyingly frustrating, especially when he could see right through her act just by digging into her thought. While it could very well be seen as an invasion of privacy, Edward felt it was critical at this moment. "You can't just ignore this conversation, Y/N. You've gotta talk about it at one point or another. I know you're hurting." "You don't know anything, Edward. You can't just waltz in here and think you know how I feel." "I can make a pretty good assumption based on your thoughts." She rolled her eyes as she pushed the plate of food away from her, "What is it with you guys and taking the easy way out? First, you leave Forks because of an accident. Then Carlisle leaves me with a note for his goodbye and if that wasn't enough, you have the nerve to sit here and read my thoughts instead of talking to me like a normal person would. It's getting pathetic honestly." She finished off with a huff. Edward's lips turned into a frown as he leaned back into the couch, "Then tell me how you feel." Y/N let out a deep sigh as she stared down at her hands, "I'm just hurt. When you guys came into my life, I wasn't expecting to get so attached, and when I did...God, it felt like the best thing in the world like I was flying. Carlisle knew it, you knew it, everyone knew it. And then you just leave? It's one thing to leave me here by myself, but the fact no one even said anything to me? I would've preferred being left alone in the woods like a sack of meat because at least then I'd know you cared enough to see me one last time, but I didn't get that and it hurt." Edward silently watched her for a moment before speaking, "Your thoughts are all jumbled together...What are you thinking about?" She let out a sigh as she began to play with her fingers, "When you guys left, I felt useless. I felt like dead weight and it showed. I could barely bring myself out of bed to go to work and the days I manage to bring myself to work, everyone just wanted me to go home because they were so worried. It was like the only thing I wanted to do was sleep and eat my days away, but I couldn't even do that because just the thought of eating made me want to puke. As for sleeping, I couldn't do that without waking up and driving over to your house like it was some bad dream. Hell, it took five months for me to even get out of the house and get some semblance of normality back into my life, then it took another three months for me to finally feel normal again. And just like that, you guys come back without a care in the goddamn world expecting a warm welcome after everything. Especially with the things he said? It was one thing to have him come back out of literally nowhere, but for him to say all of those things too? It hurts and I don't wanna go through that again, Edward. I can't go through that again." Edward nodded with a frown settled on his face as he reached out and grabbed her hand, "You can't avoid him forever though, especially if you're both in the same town." "Should've thought about that before he left." "You're right, I should have." The pair both look toward the main entrance where Carlisle stood in the same outfit he'd worn the night before albeit a tad wrinkled and disbelieved with his normally tame hair sticking out in different directions. Her face grew into a scowl as she crossed her arms, "What part of "I'll call the cops" don't you understand? I don't want you here." Carlisle turned to stare at Edward and gave him a small nod. Obviously picking up on something Y/N couldn't quite understand, he stood up and walked out with Bella awkwardly trailing behind him making Y/N wonder just how long she was standing there watching her pour her heart out to boyfriend. Shaking away the thoughts, she looked to Carlisle. "As much as I hate you right now, I'd rather not see you get dragged away in a pair of cuffs so please just go." Carlisle only shook his head as she slowly began walking toward her, "You know I can't do that, love." "No. You don't get to say that. You don't get to come in here and act like you still care." At this, Carlisle stopped his advances as he stared her down. "I'll always care about you. I know I have a weird way of showing it, but I was only doing what I thought was best. For my family, for you." "I know that Carlisle, I could care less about the fact that you left. It's how you left and how you came back. It was just so sudden, there was no warning and you just sprung it on me. Then yesterday with how upset you got with me when I didn't immediately fall into your arms that you thought you could say such horrible things...How did you expect me to react?" As she listed off all these wrongdoings, Carlisle felt an overwhelming sense of shame and embarrassment creep onto him as he looked down at the wooden floors beneath him. "Y/N, I know there's nothing I could ever do to make it better, but I truly am sorry for all the pain I've caused you with my absence. You're absolutely right when you say the way I left was awful. I did take the easy way out, but I knew if I did it in person I wouldn't be able to stop myself from leaving you. I knew the family was counting on me and I couldn't risk my own emotions overpowering what they needed me to do." "And yesterday? What the hell was that?" Carlisle sighed as his frown deepened, "Like you said, I came back expecting you to fully accept me once again. I thought you'd be blinded with joy that you wouldn't care about me just showing up and when you didn't I just...It was painful. Having you yell at me talking about how you didn't want me around was hurtful. I didn't know how to react so I gave into my anger and I said terrible things that I didn't mean. There is no excuse for my actions or the words I said last night, but please believe me when I say that I didn't mean a word of what I said. I was angry, frustrated, and admittedly a bit thirsty. I acted like a monster and I don't expect your forgiveness, but I hope you understand just how sorry and regretful I am." At his long admission, Y/N let out a sigh as she ran a hand through her hair. "God I hate you." Carlisle looked at her, pain swirling around in his eyes as he tried to ignore the pang of hurt that made its way through his chest. "You should. I don't-" "I hate that you left. I hate that you couldn't be a fucking man and tell me yourself. I hate that you came back out of nowhere and said all those horrid things to me. I hate that you had the nerve to take advantage of your child for your own benefit. I hate how you're still here even after I threatened to call the cops on you and I hate that I still need your touch," She managed to spill out in a long, desperate breath as the salty tears began to prick at her eyes once more. Carlisle sucked in a breath before using his enhanced speed to get to the woman who's strong resolve was slowly cracking for the man who had caused her so much heartbreak. He slowly and softly brought his hands to rest on either side of her head as he gently craned her neck to look up at him as she gripped onto his arms with tears now freely streaming down her face. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead as she continued to speak, "I hate how relieved I feel now that you're here," He then pressed his soft lips to the tip of her nose "I hate how I feel like I can finally breathe," Another kiss was pressed to her cheek "And I hate how much I just want you to kiss me already." At her words, Carlisle's gaze darkened slightly before he pulled her body close to his and pressed his lips to hers. Her arms threw themselves around his neck as she jumped up onto him, his strong arms immediately catching and supporting her weight as they desperately moved their lips together as if it were the last time. She tightened her hold on him as she ran her hands through his golden locks, the familiar feeling of love and adoration filling her heart as she did so, lips still moving feverishly in sync. After a few more moments, they pulled away with Y/N breathing deeply from the lack of oxygen while Carlisle stared at her with his loving eyes. Once her breathing returned back to normal, she stared into his eyes as she spoke, "But most of all, I hate how much I still love you." Carlisle let out a sigh of relief and happiness as she pulled her even closer to him, the tiniest of spaces between them being closed as they embraced each other. "I love you so much, Y/N. So so much," He spoke as he buried his face into her hair as he inhaled the scent of her sweet shampoo. "I love you too but if you ever leave me like that again I promise I won't hesitate to hit you harder than I did last night." "I wouldn't dream of it, my love. I'm yours till the end of time."

[winterfireice]

Marelinh week 2022 prompt 1 soulmate

@xanadaus @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss

Link to ao3

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My eyes linge on the sunflower tattoo on my wrist. The petals have a slight yellow tint like they've had for the last two days indicating that my soulmate is close by. I’m fighting the urge to take my highlighter and scribble it in like an empty coloring book. I look back down at my homework, the lines blurring together signifying that I have been at this for too long even though I only have half of the page filled out, and that's only the first of seven pages. I shake my head and close the textbook “Hey dad i'm going to go for a walk be back in a little bit.” I hear something muffled that I'm going to say is agreement and step outside pulling on a light jacket before hedging out to the woods behind our house, following the worn trail and passing the occasional old fairy house that I made as a kid. When I see the bright flowers around a fallen tree I know I reached my destination, its a little clearing not to far into the woods I use to come to as a kid when my mom was having a particularly bad day. I hear a branch crack and turn around seeing dark hair and taking a step back tripping a falling straight into a bed of flowers, “Oh my god are you ok?” a light voice comes from above me and I open my eyes seeing black and silver hair covering a girls face “Yeah, just think I fell onto a rock” I say and the girl puts out her hand helping me up “Thanks, I guess” I say now that she's not leaning over something with gravity against her I see she has a really pretty silvery eyes with very kissable lips. “You guess?” she asks with a hint of annoyance “Well I mean if you weren't here to surprise me I wouldnt of fallen and wouldn't need help getting up.” I state smiling “Oh well i'm sorry I didn't know I needed to announce my presence in the middle of the woods.” she chuckles “Well maybe you do who knows but better safe than sorry we don't want anyone falling on rocks, so what's your name?” I ask “Linh, yours?” “Marella” “I like that Mare,” I usually hated it when people gave me nicknames but she made it sound so nice and warm “hey is back ok it seemed like a pretty painful fall?” Linh reaches over to my side and I flinch away her hand retreats “Sorry I shouldnt of,” “No no it's fine you were just being sweet, um im good will probably have a small bruise but nothing a balm cant fix.” I laugh awkwardly wanting to get past the last few minutes. “Well at least you fell in some really pretty flowers I mean look at that pigment.” Linh kneels down to examine a flower closer and it's the first time I actually am paying attention to them but Linh's right. They are beautiful and that yellow color is gorgeous. It's just like the one on my tattoo but brighter. They're actually just like my tattoo not just the color but the shape a thin stem with wide petals I look down and gasp “What's wrong?” Linh asks “look at your arm.” I say my eyes still trained on my wrist “Oh my” I hear her breath I look over at her and she has the same thing, our tattoo aren't just outlines anymore there in full color with yellows and orange green on the leafs and even some brown at the bottom and behind it are streaks of blue and purple that look like someone took a paintbrush to my skin. “So maybe its good you caem here.” I say and look at my soulmate “Maybe” she laughs and all of a sudden I am too. We stay there just talking for another hour, I talk to her more than I think I talk to my best friends but there is something about her that makes me just want to open up and its not just because she was my soulmate there is just something intoxicating about her. I learn she has a twin brother and is adopted by a nice gay couple and she has an adopted brother her favorite falvors are lemon and cherry. I could talk to all night but as it starts to get dark we realize we should probably get going and extrange numbers before turning in opposite directions to head home. I found out she lives on the other side of the woods and were we met in almost exactly in the middle. I look behind me and see Linh doing the same thing we share a smile and I have a feeling that im not going

to be able to sleep much to night because of her and im perfectly ok with that.