#i am and have always been avatar garbage

[sword-and-stars]

I’m a simple bitch with simple needs, and one of those needs is Fire Lord Zuko dressed like a harlot with his fire lordly titties out a la Wei Wuxian.

[starres-stuff]

Yesterday I watched something that had been part of my XIV life for three years fall apart. There was a mixed well of emotions that bubbled and boiled inside of me the good, the bad and the downright ugly. It was hard to watch this as the people inside of this place were there when Covid hit, many prayed for me when I was hospitalized last year and almost lost my life. It wasn't always the best, it wasn't always the nicest but it was a huge part of my life something I didn't actually consider until I watched it all fall apart.

Change comes and change goes. Memories are ghosts that haunt the mind. In the end it was people who brought it there not because they were tired, not because they were burnt out but because they were malicious and cruel.

One thing that stuns me is how easy it is to forget there are people on the other side of the screen. No you can't see them, you can't drive on by for a visit most of the time but these are real people. They are people who touch your life with their stories ic and ooc. They are people who are there when your life goes to hell and who are there to celebrate with you when things go great. They are as real as that person you can reach out and touch. To those of us who are empaths and energy workers we even learn that the spirit can transcend the physical form and far away is only as far as you make it.

We laugh with these internet friends, we cry with them. We stay up all night even though we have a busy morning to make sure they are okay. We think about them when a song comes on the radio or when we think of two of ocs and their ship. We love these people in many different ways and many different seasons.

But yet.. so many treat these internet friends like they aren't important, like they are disposal, like it is okay to toss them aside or okay to hurt them because "they aren't real" the thing is they have a heart beat just like you and somewhere they are sitting in the dark wondering what they did wrong.

The XIV community can be hell to navigate and I don't just mean the RPers, the Modders or even the Raiders. I mean the whole thing. Every day I see someone calling out someone else or someone pulling screenshots out of their ass to use in some narrative they concocted.

Stop..

For five minutes just stop look at the people who have touched your life in game. Those people who send you messages every day to see how you are feeling or compliment you on your latest gpose. Those people who eagerly wait to rp with you again or want to hear about your stories for your ocs. See those people? Their avatars on your screens or in your pictures. Those are real people sitting in a chair somewhere in the world wanting to make friends and be accepted so life feels just a little bit better.

It's okay to love them you know, or admit that you need them in your life. What's not okay is treating them like garbage to the point that they have been treated so poorly they quit the game all together and never plan to return.

Betrayal is not okay. Weaponizing something someone tells you in confidence is not okay. I don't care if it is offline or online. It is not okay to use people's life stories to hurt others especially when you called them friend for so long.

Today I am sad. I don't like change. I don't like when the friend that has been there for years suddenly leaves my life to start another path and I certainly hate lack of closure for it leaves a hole to fester inside the mind and the heart that is never filled no matter how hard you try. Today that place I knew for so long is in shambles. People have left, I have left.

Please just be a little kinder to those internet people around you. It doesn't matter how far apart we are when we look out the window we see the same sun, the same moon and the same stars. We are all people in the same place. Distance means nothing but hope does. These are real lives and real people. Be a little softer, a little kinder and a little gentler.

[lalazeewrites]

Ahhh, thank you so much for tagging me in such a fun quiz! I am LOVING reading everyone's answers! All of you make me smile so much 😍 @stocious @shinygalaxyperson @energievie 😍

what are some movie / tv quotes that you quote often?

"Keep it secret, keep it safe!" - LOTR (any time I hand anybody anything) "What, like it's hard?" - Legally Blonde A million quotes from Arrested Development, Seinfeld, and Simpsons, because I'm annoying.

what is your favorite flower?

Iris, tulip, daffodil, bleeding hearts.

if you were in avatar: the last airbender what element would you want to bend? earth, fire, water or air?

Water!

what was your first job?

An ice cream shop where I had to sing full length songs about ice cream and also sing every time I got tipped.

what is your favorite breakfast?

Difficult! I'm a breakfast PERSON as a LIFE RULE. I eat breakfast food often more than once a day. Maybe a giant waffle with all three of the fruits. Although my local place does a waffle with bacon and chocolate that I love. But when I say that, I miss meat. You see my problem. Scottish square sausage is the best sausage.

what’s a meal from childhood that you love?

Going fishing with my dad, he'd clean the fish outdoors (or have me scale & gut them), and then he'd fry them til super crisp over the fire, cooking in a pan with masses of butter and salt.

what’s your favorite joke to tell?

My kid is the joke-teller, I'm funny on the fly/in banter.

what’s your favorite animal to see at the zoo?

The reptile & amphibian house!

what’s your go to quick meal to cook / make at home?

Packet ramen that I load up with egg, meat, veggies etc. Chocolate chip pancakes. Omelets with whatever filling is in the fridge.

what’s your go to meal to cook someone to impress them?

Shrimp red curry from scratch, lamb & okra curry (recipe from my Pakistani ex-father-in-law), lasagna.

what’s something you want to do better?

I don't know. I try to be kind to myself and not give myself expectations that may fail, and rather try and work toward a general goal. Like, I would like to continue to learn and grow in handling my PTSD, triggers, and symptoms in a healthy way.

if you’re working do you like your job?

Yup! I love it! I haven't been able to work in 6 months, because of my spine injury, but I'll be back once I heal from surgery. I work at my daughter's grammar school as a recess and lunch monitor, so I get to see her every day, as well as her friends. We have a good time!

do you collect anything? what?                                              

I of course collect all my concert tickets. I collect horror movies, like I have hundreds of horror DVDs, a lot of them obscure (and many of them not). I've been collecting different editions of Anne Rice books since I was 11yrs old.

if you were trapped in a kids tv show, what show would you be okay with being trapped in?

Sailor Moon!

an adults tv show?

God, all the shows I watch & love are all so fucking fraught with Horrors LOL Can I be on Supernatural as long as y'all promise I don't end up like all the other women on the show?

what kind of job did you want as a child?

I wanted to be a garbage lady!!! I wanted to actively help save the environment lol. So, I was always really happy when the garbage people came along to take away the trash and recycling. Later, I wanted to go into zoology. (Didn't do any of those things, I got a scholarship in Theater & Arts lol)

do you follow any sports? what team do you root for?

GLASGOW CELTICS MON THE CELTICS

if you could be any animal what would you be and why?

I've always wanted to be a sea turtle! Drifting and dreaming through the pretty seas and having a million lovely beautiful babies.

if you could be any mythological creature what would you be and why?

Probably like a pan. Y'know, with the goat legs, playing music all day and getting drunk, partying with the other forest fae.

what’s the most obscure thing you’ve had to google for a fanfic you were writing/reading?

I was definitely googling how nuclear power reactors function for Star Trek fic and learned more than I imagined I would lol.

what milkovich do you identify with most?

Ooof, of course Mickey. Growing up terrified of a severely abusive father who would snap at the smallest thing, having an eastern european immigrant family, growing up with anger issues but being excessively soft on the inside, and hey, my parents are chicago born-bred folks (first generation american).

which one are you actually like the most?

ughhhhh. . .Why I gotta decide?! Mickey lol.

what gallagher do you identify with most? 

Fiona. She had to deal with Frank the most. My dad is a lot a lot a lot like Frank (narcisstic alcoholic genius level asshole who is happy to abandon their kid & make them feel bad about it instead of taking responsibility), to the point where I will sometimes get triggered by his presence in an episode and have to stop watching for months at a time when I was first watching the show. She's always trying her best to be everything for everyone, usually to the detriment of her own personal identity and happiness. She's absolutely easily the most like me.

 which one are you actually like the most?

No, still Fiona lol

[weareuniqueandimportant]

Winx Alone Is Very Interesting.

I Feel Like Other Things Are Interesting Together Instead.

Btw I Despise Cartoons For Some Reason. Everything Cool Is No Cartoon They're An Anime.

Avatar The Last Airbender Is No Anime They're Indeed A Garbage Cartoon All The Bigoted Things Abuser Waste Garbage And Completely Boring.

Only A Bigot Would Like Them.

Both Katara And Azula Are Secondary Therefore Inferior To Ang Zuko And Ozai. Yet They're Praised By Evil Abuser Bigot Waste All The Bigoted Things Garbage Evil.

To Be Honest I Feel Bored. I Notice Other Things Are Interesting Together Instead Of Alone.

Attack On Titan Characters Are So Boring And Badly Written I Am Superior I Will Always Be Superior... To...

Isayama. He Is Nothing But An Abuser Bigot All The Bigoted Things Evil That Doesn't Know How To Write. And A Nazi.

Most Are Killed. Wasted. Immeatedily. They Could've Been More.

Then Barely Any Die Despite The Stakes Getting Bigger. Because There Are Barely Any And That Would Waste All The Depth They Now Have Gained.

To Be Honest Even Deaths Like Erwin Weren't All That Satisfying. He Dies With A Bunch Of Nobodies That Could've Been More.

In An Unsatisfying Arc. That Only Serves To Set Up Another. Despite Being The Last Time The Real Cast Is Alive Together.

Why Wasn't Eren's Squad A Real Cast? Or Levi's? So Many Dead People.

Eren's Squad Could've Been So Interesting. Their Energy Is Completely Special And Different.

Games Like Legend Of Heroes Trails Of Cold Steel 3 And 4 We Played Them They Will Always Be More Interesting In Cast.

That Cast Is So Cool Omg. Altina Is One Of The Best Characters. Juna And Musse Aswell. Thing Is Kurt And Ashe Don't Suck. Rean Isn't Ass Garbage. But Is Still A Male.

That One Handled Everyone So Well. 4 Gets So Much Hate But That Wasn't Bad At All At Everything Else At All. They Could've Straight Up Fucked In Many Ways They Didn't.

But Those Past Protagonists Were Almost Unnecessarry. I Don't Know What They're All Even Talking About. Not Even Flashbacks. But The Cool Continued. That Was Nice. Soon Everything Made Sense Again.

The Fake Ending Was Such Ass. But The Main One Exists To Set Up Another Sequel...

Even Then That Was So Cool. That Opening Song Is So Fire.

Best Part Was To Be Honest In Act 1 When You Fight Rean. That Is Crazy He Goes From That To The Ending Rivalries. You Almost Forget Where He Started... In The Game.

Wow An Actual Script For Once!! But That Could've Been So Much More...

However An Abuser Bigot Wouldn't Know. They Know Nothing Only I Can Know Something. Only I Can Know Anything Nobody Else Can. Only I Can Be Trusted I Am Special. Nobody Else Can.

Only A Bigot Would Gasslight This.

[books-and-catears]

It's me snow, (finally got mammon on a leash again), I had a random idea. What abt a MC that LOVES Solomon's cooking and HATES/DESPISES Barbatos's cooking (ik they has horrible taste). How would the dateables and brothers react to this?

This is ...This ask is ... PRICELESS! ABSOLUTE CRACK HEADCANON YES! I shall write about this with great love thank you for this!

Lucifer

Are human tastes always this peculiar?

How very strange and bewildering

Liking Solomon's food was one thing, MC but not liking Barbatos's food is simply bizarre-

Are you pretending? Is this some sort of joke Satan and Belphie are asking you to play?

*shakes in head in utter disapproval*

No? What a disaster. Now he has to cancel all the dinner dates he was planning to take you to-

Mammon

HUMAN WHAT THE HELL-

He is 1000% sure Solomon must have cast some dark magic over your taste buds

MC, you can't be serious? Is this a human thing? For real?

What do you mean he's crazy for not like Solomon's food!?? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S CRAZY FOR LIKING IT!

You won't even taste Barb's food? The SMELL bothers you???

Is also slightly jealous of Solomon so he sneaks in the kitchen to steal his recipes.

Leviathan

Now what kind of normie behaviour is this?

It's one thing to have bad taste in forms of entertainment but to have LITERAL BAD TASTE-

MC, are you sick in the head? Did Solomon do something to you?

Wow you actually gobbled up Solomon's dish within minutes and you won't even look at Barbatos's dish...

Is 90% convinced he's fallen into some parallel dimension where you apparently have disastrous taste.

Satan

This...is rather peculiar. But also interesting.

Turns you into his research guinea pig and makes dishes of varying degrees of bad to see exactly what your taste is

Is rather pissed off when you say Solomon makes it best

Fine then he'll conjure up the most vile and disgusting he can-

Is somehow both satisfied and confused when you say it's his best work

Why are you like this MC...

Has Solomon perhaps cursed the food so that only humans like it?

Asmodeus

MC, how can such a pretty face have such ugly tastes?!! It just doesn't add up!

Solomon what did you do to MC?! Undo it immediately!

But look at Barbatos's food MC!! It's just as pretty as it tastes and Solomon's on the other hand-

This doesn't sit well with him at all. He simply can't tolerate this MC!

Takes Beel's help in trying to find something that might truly better your taste buds.

Beelzebub

*suprised Beelkachu face* :O

MC, he is literally the Avatar of Gluttony and he can't even have it-

MC, you will get really really sick please for his sake don't have Solomon's food-

He's glad you give him your share of Barbatos's food but he feels so guilty for letting you eat all of Solomon's food

Like the only thing he leaves untouched in the fridge is Solomon's food and now you are finishing that up too?!!

Belphegor

It's been a long long time since he last mingled with humans but he can bet his sleep they weren't this strange.

MC that is straight up repulsive, it's making the flies and rats go away, MC no-

Tells Beel to snatch the plate away from you, but you simply won't budge.

Works with Satan to try and improve your taste using magic but it's no use-

You better not cuddle with him before you wash off the smell of that food.

Solomon

After all these years, he's finally found his soulmate.

This man simps for you harder than anybody else. Noone else appreciates his creativity like you

Sneaks into your room at night with his latest and bizarre creations

Blushes and supresses his urges to marry you right there when you smile and enjoy his food with such excitement

Lucifer, I am taking MC to Purgatory Hall. No this is not a request.

Barbatos

Oh this demon is scared of you. Yes all the powerful time controling demon is scared of you.

You're like a giant rat who feasts on garbage in his eyes

He cannot hate you, you're too nice for that but he despises Solomon and your corrupted taste buds with a passion

Just for the sake of experimentation and impressing you, he tries to make one of Solomon's dishes but-

NEVER AGAIN

Diavolo

*enter Diavolo's laugh track*

This is so hilarious to him. Who knew humans could be this interesting?!

Becomes very observant of you and Solomon and your spectacularly peculiar tastes.

How can you both gobble up something that looks and tastes that cursed?

Wonders if this is how all humans are?!

He actually notes down Solomon's recipes for other humans that he might invite in the future, while Lucifer and Barbatos plan to steal those notes and burn them-

Simeon

Dear Lord above, give him strength not to lose his sanity over these two humans

MC, who corrupted you this way, give him names, he will punish them generously

He thought it was selfless of you to want to taste Solomon's food so the others didn't have to but now-

MC you might have a kind heart but he's afraid you'll be damned for your tastes

Makes excessive amounts of Celestial food along with Luke to change your tastes

Luke

*traumatized Chihuahua noises*

*holds up a cross while crying meme*

Tries to give Solomon divine punishment twice a week

Prays to Michael for MC's sake

How is MC's taste worse than DEMONS?!!!

[srbachchan]

DAY 5088

Jalsa, Mumbai                    Jan 22/23,  2022                   Sat/Sun  1:02 AM

Birthday - EF - Subash Vaid .. Sunday, January 23 .. and wishes for this birthday to you from the Ef family ... ❤️🙏

❤️ , Tomorrow .. Jan 23rd .. is the birthday of the ever caring and one of the gentlest souls in the Extended Family .. Ef Subash Vaid .. who always remembers the anniversaries of everyone .. and ever wishes everyone well .. in the true Spirit of the Ef ..

No there is no wish no desire .. just a need .. and the need to be in the company of them that love and show gratitude .. and many wonder why do I do this connect and how has it lasted for so many DAY’s .. and I tell them to ask you ..

reply then to them and respond ..

the semblance of documentation and bringing order to the disorder in the general conditions about and around me , have been most prominent .. and the intent to condition it , record it , file it , digitise it, and whatever else is the suggested technological formulae in these rapidly changing inventions, is a bother .. for what may be relevant today is becoming irrelevant for tomorrow .. and the morrow and the morrow and the morrow ..

spending some time with those that are in the knowledge of inventions and the latest thought contraptions , one discovers so many aspects of where the world is travelling that it frightens the mind ..

the eventuality is that the human shall eventually be inconsequential .. its avatar shall be in existence that shall be the be all and do all of ourselves .. meaning that an avatar shall be built about that shall do and perform and live like the individual it forms its avatar from .. so the real shall evaporate , and the unreal avatar shall be the recognised real ..

time limitations shall ever prevail .. and in time all shall suddenly become prevalent .. 

I had neglected a bag of buyings that were recent and on in the time of the time .. but on opening it today, found not a single item that was needed or did not have an exceedingly wasted presence .. 

pertinent beyond value when it was acquired .. impertinent now ..

the gadgetry that some have collected through the years , including myself, in its obsolete form does not need requirement at all .. and a shame because they were so needed and valuable then .. and now other invents fat go past them , and thus making them worthy material for the garbage .. !!

and the learning from this is that whatever needs to be obtained in gadget, needs to be used fullest for a period of three months and then replaced , thrown out or just kept on the streets for the garbage van to collect ..

It shall not be long before this form of mine .. the AB .. shall find itself on the pick up queue , because the avatar shall have taken over .. 

love and good night .. from the me .. me AB .. 

just confirming before you start to think the other has taken over ..

Amitabh Bachchan       

DAY 5088(i) translate in Arabic

جلسة، مومباي       السبت/الأحد       ٢٢/ ٢٣ يناير ٢٠٢٢          الساعة ١:٠٢ بعد منتصف الليل قد يكون من غير المنصف أن أسميها رغبة أو تمنيا .. فهي ليست كذلك .. بل هي حاجة في داخلي .. الحاجة تفوق الرغبة وتفوق التمني .. وأنا أحتاج أن أكون معكم وبصحبتكم ، أنتم الذين تمنحونني الكثير من الحب والعرفان .. أنتم ، أفراد عائلتي الكبيرة ، الممتدة بين ربوع الدنيا شرقا وغربا ، شمالا وجنوبا .. الكثير يسألنني لماذا أقوم بكتابة المدونة بشكل يومي ، وكيف استطعت أن أستمر كل هذه السنوات دون انقطاع .. وأنا أحول أسئلتهم إليكم ، حتى تمنحونهم الجواب والدواء .. إن محاولة توثيق ، وضبط ، وتنسيق الأشياء المبعثرة من حولي والتي تفتقر إلى النظام ، هو ما يسود الحالة العامة هذه الأيام .. أحتاج لتنظيم الأشياء التي تخص عملي وتخصني شخصيا .. فلذلك هناك عزم على ضبطها جميعا وفق نظام يسهل العودة إليها ، ثم تهيئتها ، وتسجيلها ، وحفظها ، ورقمنتها ، والعمل على جعلها متاحة في كل الصيغ التكنولوجية الممكنة ، وفي جميع ما يتم اقتراحه .. إلا أن الاختراعات تستمر في التغير بسرعة كبيرة .. ففي كل يوم ، بل في كل لحظة وثانية ، هناك ابتكار جديد .. وعلي أن أعترف أن هذا أمر مزعج .. فالذي قد يكون مهما اليوم ، غدا يصبح غير مهم على الإطلاق .. وهكذا يكون الأمر بعد غد ، وبعد غد ، وبعد غد .. لتفقد ، في النهاية ، كل الأشياء التي نعرفها أهميتها .. إن قضاء بعض الوقت مع أولئك الذين هم على اطلاع بآخر المستجدات في عالم الاختراع والتكنولوجيا ، قد سمح لي بأن أتكشف على العديد من المجالات ، وأكتشف نحو ماذا يتجه مستقبل العالم .. مستقبل ، أقل ما أقول عنه ، أنه مفزع ومخيف للعقل .. فالذي يحتمل حدوثه أن الكيان البشري في نهاية المطاف سيصبح عديم الشأن .. وسيحل محله الكيان الرقمي ، أو الأفاتار .. وهذا الأفاتار سيصبح هو ”الكل في الكل“ ، وهو الذي سيقوم بكل شيء نيابة عنا .. بمعنى .. أن الشخص عندما يقوم بإنشاء أفاتار في العالم الافتراضي .. فذلك الأفاتار سينوب عنه في فعل كل شيء ، سيعيش مثلما هو ، ويتصرف مثلما هو .. فيتبخر الكيان الحقيقي ويختفي وجود الإنسان .. وتصبح الشخصية الرقمية غير الواقعية هي الحقيقة المعترف بها .. !! .. لابد أن ندرك أن الوقت محدود .. وأن لكل شيء أجل .. هذه حقيقة يجب أن نسلم بها .. فإن لم نفعل ، فسنجدها فجأة واقعة على رؤوسنا .. منذ زمن مضى ، ولكنه زمن ليس ببعيد ، اشتريت أغراضا كانت أحدث ما تم إصداره في ذلك الوقت .. وضعت تلك الأغراض جميعا في حقيبة ، ثم أخذتني الحياة ، ونسيت تلك الحقيبة وأهملتها .. اليوم ، عندما عدت إليها وفتحتها ، وجدتها جميعا قد أصبحت بلا قيمة وبلا فائدة تذكر .. وجدتني لا أحتاج لها .. وقد كانت جميعها تشغل مساحة كبيرة من الغرفة بلا طائل .. كان يمكن استغلال تلك المساحة في شيء أكثر نفعا بدل تضييعها بذلك الشكل! .. لقد كانت ذات أهمية بالغة عندما تم الحصول عليها .. ولكنها الآن لم تعد مهمة .. إن الأجهزة الإلكترونية التي قام البعض بتجميعها عبر السنين ، ومن بينهم أنا .. الآن وقد أصبحت بالية ، فلم يعد لها أية ضرورة .. وهذا أمر مؤسف .. فهذه الأجهزة كان الطلب عليها مرتفعا جدا في وقتها .. ولكن والآن وقد حلت محلها اختراعات أخرى أكثر ”دسامة“ .. فهذا قد جعلها مادة صالحة للقمامة .. !! .. والعبرة التي نتعلمها من كل هذا .. أنه .. عندما تقتني جهازا جديدا .. فيجب عليك أن تستخدمه وتستهلكه بشكل كامل في مدة لا تقل عن ثلاثة أشهر .. بعد ذلك عليك استبداله ، أو الإلقاء به ، أو تركه في الشارع لتجمعه شاحنات القمامة .. لن يمر وقت طويل قبل أن أجد نفسي في طابور الإعتقال .. فحينها قد يكون الأفاتار ، أو تجسدي الرقمي ، هو من استبدل تجسدي البشري ، وتولى زمام الأمور .. لكم حبي .. وتمنياتي بليلة طيبة .. مني أنا .. أميتاب .. فقط أؤكد .. قبل أن يبدأ البعض منكم ، أو ربما جميعكم ، في الاعتقاد أن الآخر ، أقصد الأفاتار ، قد استولى على المدونة .. ولكن قبل أن أغادر .. أحب أن أضيف شيئا .. .. هناك خبر أود أن أشاركه معكم .. .. وإنه لمن دواعي سروري ، أن أعرب عن فخري الكبير بالإنجاز الذي حققه ولدي الحبيب ، أبهيشيك .. حيث ، أنه حسب حسب آخر سبر آراء قامت به مجلة الأنباء ”الهند اليوم“ ، فإن أبهيشيك قد تم تصنيفه نجم المنصات الرقمية الأول في الهند .. وسعادتي لا حد لها .. قد أخجل وأمتنع عن مدح نفسي .. فهذا ليس من شيمي .. ولكني لن أتأخر أبدا عن مدح من هم خاصتي ، والذين ينتسبون لي ، وأنتسب أنا إليهم ، دما وروحا .. فلذلك ، ولدي الحبيب ، أمام كل الدنيا أضمك ، وأغدقك بكل عبارات الثناء والطراء .. تذكر أن دعواتي دائما معك .. من كل قلبي وروحي .. محبتي للجميع ،أميتاب باتشان ..

[kittydemon9000]

The Beginning of Heatstroke, aka Red's Villain Origin

* crashes down from the ceiling * I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED ONE OF MY 5+ CURRENT WRITING PROJECTS! BEHOLD, A WRITTEN VERSION OF THE 'Red's Villain Origin AU', also known as RVO / Heatstroke AU

To summarize the AU for SPBNR for those that don't now it: 

“Who'd be the biggest conspiracy theorist out of the M!Ninja? The one who drinks 5 hour energy at 3am and spits off the craziest theories and then actually gets it right but nobody gives the theory any merit because the rest of the theories are too crazy?”

The answer: Red / M!Kai

Red: Okay hear me out: Smith is actually an alternative version of one of us sent here from another dimension.

The other M!Ninja: You’re just saying that because Smith’s cool and you want him to be your counterpart

Based on the M!ninja making red cork boards trying to figure out ‘What Is Up With Smith’: Red gets increasingly accurate and nobody will believe him (all pre shogun reveal) and he eventually snaps and takes up a secret villain persona to fight Shogun like 'if they won't believe me I'll do it myself' and it gets awkward when he accidentally does too much damage and catches not only Shogun's attention like planned, but also the rest of the Ninjaforce, and now he has to keep his own identity a secret

So, without further ado, I present... Heatstroke

------------

Red blamed the 5-hour energy coffee blend at 3:00am for this.

It was no surprise that between ‘Operation: What’s Going on with Smith’ & the sudden appearance of Shogun that the resident Bounty red-stringed ‘joke’ cork-board doubled in size and seriousness. It also was no surprise that Red had a corner all to himself and that his theories were… in the words of the others, ‘wildly inaccurate and implausible’.

But this time, he was sure he’d gotten it right.

Smith is Shogun sent here from another continent/planet/dimension with the goal of protecting Ninjago City.

The latest string of laughs and scoffs at his theory was the last straw. He’d show them. He’d prove it!

Which was why he was currently standing on the roof of a noodle house, awkwardly adjusting the spare motorcycle helmet he’d ‘borrowed’ from Nya and painted black and orangey-yellow (red had seemed too obvious). He’d exchanged his Ninjaforce outfit for a soot-burned cross between a bomber jacket and a leather jacket. Down his back jutted a row of flames like the spines of a monster, courtesy of one of Nya & Jay’s unfinished inventions Red had modified- surely nothing bad would come of that!

For tonight, the Red Ninja was off-duty. For tonight, it was Heatstroke’s turn.

He fiddled with one of the weapons he’d ‘lent out’ from Master Wu. It resembled a small arm canon, like a smaller version of the Ultimate Weapon. The plaque under its post had read ‘Elemental Focuser’, which, in cryptic Wu speak, probably translated to ‘you can use an elemental power like something out of Avatar: The Last Airbender’. So far he’d only figured out how to activate a focused jet of fire. Well, at least it was on brand. He hoped it would help him catch Shogun’s attention so he could unmask him.

He’d tried confronting Smith at school, of course. But there were only so many ways of saying ‘are you the new vigilante helping the ninjas’, and Smith has a genuine talent for dancing around the topic. Red could confront him with the name Shogun to get a proper reaction, but that would mean explaining how he knew the name and outing himself as the Red Ninja.

So fake villainy really was the only way.

His plan was to use the Elemental Focuser to cause some minor petty damage, just enough to attract the new vigilante. Perhaps set a trash can on fire, block an alleyway with rocks (if he figured out how to change the setting from fire to earth), small things that could easily be repaired.

Of course, plans were never actually stuck to. One way or another, something was always improvised.

Red’s improvisation just happened to involve him accidentally setting the entire alleyway on fire.

He’d only been aiming for one dumpster, honest! And maybe he’d spotted a couple fliers for a SoG meeting on the ground and happened to burn those too. And a newspaper article blaming Lloyd for the recent Garmadon attack, again. And an article about those ‘Damn Ninja Menaces’ by a S. Sonah Sameson. And-

Okay, so maybe Red had aimed the fire at a few small targets. But just a few! And with good reason and good care, but…

Well, fire liked to burn. Give it enough kindle and it’ll continue to grow, stretching like reaching branches towards each other to join in a massive bonfire. 

So now the entire alleyway was on fire, and Red was panicking. 

He’d luckily chosen an abandoned part of town near the beaches where Shogun sightings seemed most frequent, but with the stupid Elemental Focuser not switching from fire mode to water mode or ice mode or something that didn’t have the potential to burn Ninjago City to the ground, Red had no way of stopping the flames.

And more flames meant more destruction which meant a bigger audience.

Which was why his previously muted comm suddenly flared to life, the only warning Red had before Nya’s water strider mech slid around the corner.

Red scrambled onto a roof as the mech drove past, spraying water at the bonfire to dose it. His sigh of relief was just as quickly dosed as Lloyd’s voice came over the comms; “Status, Grey?”

“Flames are out,” Nya replied. “Pursing the joker that set it ablaze.”

Uh oh. Red took off across the roof, leaping from building to building. Tiles creaked, pebbled and dust scattering underfoot. The sounds of the mech’s engine roaring behind him echoed through alleyways below to create the illusion the mech was everywhere at once. 

As the chase grew on, more mechs started to join in. Red ducked into a narrow avenue to avoid Zane’s tank, then under a cafe overhang to throw off Jay and Lloyd. His heart hammered in his chest and he groaned, filling the inside of the motorcycle helmet with steam. Saying this was going ‘bad’ would be the understatement of the century. 

What had he been thinking? Oh wait: he hadn’t. Seriously? ‘Oh I’ll just pretend to be a villain real quick, that should get Shogun’s attention and not the attention of literally my entire team of fellow ninjas!’ Stupid, impulsive, this was why everyone was always calling the red ninja the ‘hothead’ when he really tried not to be- Lloyd’s voice over the comms snapped him from his thoughts. “I can’t catch them! It’s like they know our every move!”

Red winced as he climbed up a banister and leapt from balcony to balcony. Sorry, Lloyd. 

He didn’t miss how the others asked Nya where Red was. And how she made up excuses the others bought so easily- granted, he’d told those excuses to his sister before setting his plan into motion, but still, ouch. They acted like he was simply being at best too busy and at worst lazy and selfish.

He just wanted them to know the truth! Why couldn’t they at least try to believe him when-

Of course, that was when Shogun dropped out of the sky and tackled him.

Red shouted with surprise as he tumbled down from the second floor, slamming into a few softer bags of garbage to break his fall before rolling and slamming into the unforgiving concrete. A crack formed in his vision as the visor of his motorbike helmet smacked into the concrete ground. One of the fire jets on his back sputtered and sparked, sending a thin wisp of smoke into the air.

Shogun pinned his wrists to the ground and growled. “Who are you?”

Red tried to break free, agony turning his muscles and bones to fire with the movement after his fall, but the vigilante was too strong. Damn, how often did this guy train?

“Who am I?” Red said, a nervous tinge to his voice. He quickly smoothed it over with faked confidence. “Who are you? Who are all of us, really?”

Shogun narrowed his eyes behind his hood. “Did Garmadon send you? Or someone else?”

Red sputtered. Really, the nerve! Garmadon? The thought turned his insides to disgusting mud. “Nobody sent me!”

“Then why are you here?” Shogun spat.

“Why am I here?” Why was he here again? Oh right, the bright idea on how to reveal that Shogun was Smith. “It’s, uh… a valid reason! That I don’t have to tell you!” He tried for a villainous laugh. Stay in character, don’t blow your cover, you got this!

Shogun was unimpressed. “Nearly burning down my home was a valid reason?”

“Well, I wasn’t trying to set everything on- wait, WHAT?” Uh oh. “You LIVE here?”

Now it was Shogun’s turn to look uncomfortable, though the expression was quickly wiped from his face. “Nothing wrong with this district.” 

Red nodded. “‘Course not. Uh, sorry about that… wasn’t my intention, I swear.”

Shoot, he could hear Jay’s jet getting closer. He had to get out of here, but Shogun, annoyingly, didn’t seem to be in the mood to simply let him go. “Then what is your intention?”

“Well, for starters, it’s getting out of here. This really isn’t going to plan and I’d rather just be home right now, or even inventing a time machine like in that book ‘Hands of Time’ to slap my past self in the face for even thinking about this stupid idea in the first place-“

Jay wasn’t the only one that could ramble under pressure, it seemed.

Shogun leaned closer. “What idea?”

Red shrugged as best he could with how he was pinned to the ground. “Well, for starters, I just wanted to prove to my friends that you’re Smith, and things just kinda escalated from-”

The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he said. 

Shogun lurched back, letting go of him. His eyes betrayed a kaleidoscope of emotions; surprise, worry, suspicious, hurt, fear, realization. 

“…Kai?”

Well, f!ck.

“I-“

Red was about to badly attempt to bullsh!t his way out of his identity reveal before it suddenly dawned on him that Shogun had not denied his theory. 

Which meant Shogun was Smith.

And it also meant Smith instantly recognized him as Kai, which, considering his disguise, was aptly concerning. Sure, he was the first one in his group of friends people would think to do something this extreme but give him some credit! Zane was a regular detective, he’d do the same if it meant answers! Or, well, at least something similar. And Nya could be an adrenaline seeker. And Lloyd- well, maybe not Lloyd. Or Jay, either. Cole had his head just enough on his shoulders that he probably wouldn’t do this either.

But come on, instantly guessing it?

Well, at least Smith/Shogun didn’t know Kai was the Red Ninja. That would be a catastrophe.

Right. Back to the current catastrophe at hand.

Shogun- Smith- still had a look as if he’d been slapped, and Red hated it. He hadn’t meant to hurt his friend. Shogun… Shogun hadn’t wanted them to find out his identity. And then Red had gone and done it, just to prove that he could be the smart one, or a leader, or the protector so they didn’t get hurt, or literally anything but just the ‘hotheaded one’. 

…And he’d done it in the most hotheaded, impulsive way possible.

He really was an idiot.

The cracked helmet hid the look on his face, a twisted mess of distraught and shame. But it didn’t help hide how he took stumbled to his feet and away from Smith, nervous that any second he’d spill another mistake and mess up again, like how he always freaking messed up on everything. Don’t pick this fight, interject there instead, no, not there, idiot, there, FMS why are you so useless-

Focus, focus.

Lloyd’s voice, sharp in the intercom and full of static from his tumble, snapped him from his thoughts. “Anyone got eyes on the arsonist?”

Red caught Smith’s eye as he raised his hand to his own communicator. He was so screwed, so busted, so doomed… Smith would report it, and the others would know, and they’d think he was just messing around in an alleyway with some stolen devices and weapons out of curiosity or rage, - and-

“None yet, still looking.”

…What?

Smith stared at him, gaze searching. He looked shaken, more so than Red- who’d just taken a fall from a second story, mind you, it was a miracle he wasn’t more injured than a couple small scrapes and some future bruises-, yet everything from the set of his jaw to the softening of his furrowed brows suggested a change in emotions. Well, not quite change; more like repress and replace.

“You wanted to prove yourself, didn’t you.”

Red flushed, hand instinctually clamping into a tight fist at his side. The still-working fire jets on his back ignited without him pressing any buttons; faulty activation from the fall or something. 

Palms up and hands raised, Smith silently asked to defuse the situation. “Didn’t mean it as an insult. This wasn’t about venting some anger, was it.”

Red’s lack of response only confirmed it. Smith continued. “I won’t say anything about this if you don’t tell anyone my identity. Deal? I know finding it out was important to you, but-“

“Deal,” Red interrupted. Guilt ate away at his core, like a wave of water dousing a candle. “Smith, I-“ He swallowed hard and stared at the alley floor. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… to…”

Smith’s hand was suddenly on his shoulder and he flinched before relaxing as Smith didn’t move further, nor did the grip tighten. “I’m a little hurt, you’re right. But I’m not mad. And I won’t tell the others, so you can relax. But you better get out of here and get yourself an alibi. We can talk at school or something.”

Wow, he was handling this rather calmly. Red was struck by the sudden memory of- what did Jay call the word? Right. Compartmentalizing. That… wasn’t healthy. But at the roar of Lloyd’s mech somewhere nearby, he didn’t comment further. Instead, he shot Smith a grateful nod and ran down the alley, sticking to the shadows and blind spots of the flying mechs and the tight alleyways where the land mechs couldn’t reach him. 

When he got home, miraculously without further incident (though Shogun leading the others on a wild goose chase over the comms certainly helped there), he ditched the outfit in a bag hidden beneath a loose floorboard in the shed. He’d return the weapon to Master Wu’s ship later, and… well, hope Nya never searched for the missing supplies. There wasn’t a way of fixing it without involving her or Jay, and neither was an option.

Heatstroke was back off duty, and so was the Red Ninja.

For now, he could just be Kai Smith. And there wasn’t any issue with that.

…

Right?

—————

yooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

THIS IS AMAZING REHJJGFHDESFXJVZ

and ah yes, good ol trauma and compartmentalizing, we love to see it

[mollrat101]

Hacks Appreciation Week

Day 1: Favorite Scene

I would have to say the scene that most made me want to stand up and cheer and felt the most satisfying every time I watched it was Deborah demolishing Drew on stage in episode 8. 

After all the heartbreak we, as an audience, now know Deborah has been through (including all the sexual harassment and assault she’s had to face) it’s incredibly satisfying for Deborah to finally have her moment to say “you know what? no more. fuck this shit.” and rightfully destroy this piece of shit man who thinks it’s in any way acceptable to joke about drugging a woman and sexually harass other female comedians and just generally be a garbage, talentless human being. 

Deborah has usually just kept on trucking regardless of how much things bothered her or unhappy they made her, but this is the moment she breaks. When she’s done just powering through shitty treatment. Great character arcs are usually defined by them realizing that the power they had to change their life was always within them. Deb is there now. 

For so long, Deborah has bit her tongue about the terrible sexist treatment she’s experienced in this industry because, understandably, she doesn’t want to paint a target on her back, again. Even to the point that she perpetuated sexist jokes herself. 

To me, this moment, is Deborah fully coming back to herself. The Deborah that showed up in that club was similar to the woman we saw in the unaired late night pilot but this time sharper, more shrewd...and this time, she’s not alone. 

But it’s also the fact that that this scene isn’t just Deborah’s alone that also seals it for me. The intense intimacy of Ava starting to realize that Deborah took what she had to say to heart and her being the first one to realize what’s going on. It just again speaks to the intimacy of the relationship between performer and writer. There’s something special about being the person in the audience who knows where the joke comes from. I also think this is the moment in which Deborah fully became someone Ava truly admires. 

Something I will maintain to my dying breath is that Ava Daniels is a good person and one of the things I most admire her is her concern about justice. It’s obvious, even though she like everybody else isn’t perfect about it, that she wants to do the right thing. She’s sensitive, empathetic and compassionate. Ava reminds Deborah of her moral values and how she could maybe use her art for good too. That is incapsulated in this scene. 

I think in a more wider sense though this was the first scene that it really hit home for me that Ava and Deborah’s relationship might not just be good for them personally and their close circle...but that it might also be good for the world. Some of my most favorite couples, one that practically transcend into something even greater, tend to be ones that seem to have or had a potential for a great destiny: Jamie and Brienne from A Song of Ice and Fire, Zuko and Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Couples who’s shared values and commitment to doing the right thing in a world full of injustices make them become legendary. People would remember them, sing songs about them, their stories would become myths. 

Am I saying that Ava and Deborah are on that level? 

I think they could be something like that and this scene explains why. 

It was the devastating look on Deborah’s face right beforehand realizing that her individual success was admirable, yes, but unfortunately systemic sexism is going to continue if people in the industry don’t speak out. For so long, Deborah was so vulnerable but now she’s clawed and fought for the success and power she’s gotten and she finally realizes maybe she can use it for good. Just like she had wanted to do in 1976. Her dream didn’t die then, it was just delayed for a long time. 

But Deborah can’t do it alone. And I think along with being artistic soulmates, they may just truly be soulmates (romantic or not, in the end) in that the two of them together have almost a greater life purpose that they can only achieve together. To me, this is the moment that I feel might genuinely be the most Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner moment they’ve had so far. Two complimentary halves of an artistic soul who use both of their strengths to both entertain and to promote their values in their work. 

Ava is the set up and Deborah is the punchline. Ava has the strong moral compass and writerly insight, and Deborah has the confidence, the experience and the wit to be able to get people to listen. 

It is this scene that made me realize they maybe Ava and Deborah’s future as a couple (fingers crossed) might not be confined to just personal fulfillment...but to greatness. It is this moment that I think we see the best potential for Ava and Deborah to become comedy legends. 

Will that happen? 

It remains to be seen and maybe they won’t, but this scene makes a damn good case for what could be possible. 

[sword-and-stars]

This is all you need to know about chapter six.

[doctorstarlock]

Mighty Nein characters according to me, a person who’s never seen any of Campaign 2, based soley on my impressions of them from fan posts:

Nott — teeny little goblin trash woman with a drinking problem. But I guess now she’s not anymore and she looks like a regular person again? And also she was reunited with her husband, idk where he was though. The real message here is that Sam likes to play as tiny people

Beauregard — blue lesbian monk who wants to make out with every woman she meets. All the fanart I’ve seen makes her look like Sokka from Avatar? I must know if Marisha thought of that when she was first designing her character

Yasha — goth lesbian barbarian. Looks like if a member of KISS went feral and lived in the woods for awhile and then returned to civilization to become a medieval women’s wrestling champ. But apparently she’s got a secret Soft Spot. Her wife died? Or something? Idk everyone’s just happy that Blindspot ended and Ashley can play her every week now.

Fjord — sad green cowboy pirate. I think he’s got some terrifying sea monstress or something for a sugar mama and she made him change his accent cuz she didn’t Approve. Also she almost killed him. Overall probably deserves better

Caduceus — Cow Man. Goat Man? Goat Cow Man? I have no flipping idea. But he looks like his ears must be velvety soft and his pink hair smells good. He drinks tea and everyone thinks he’s wise (though I suspect he’s actually just pretty and dumb.) He’s like if Uncle Iroh was a cryptid. Pretty sure flowers spring up in his footprints wherever he walks.

Jester — blue angel princess baby! Just a Little Girl who must be Protected! Even though she’s got, like, an insanely powerful god as her patron and he gave her a tonnnnn of super strong magical abilities and I think she’s maybe the most powerful person in the group? But no one notices cuz they’re too busy being disastrously in love with her 24/7

Caleb — another Sad Boi, but I guess it’s valid cuz he burned his whole family to a crisp #yikes. He’s got some other issues and basically when he tells you he’s not a good man he’s right, that’s why his only friend is a cat. But of course that makes him a hundred times hotter than if he was just a regular good guy. Don’t bother with your self-inserts though cuz he’s hopelessly in love with Jester and I don’t even watch this show but I am HIGHLY invested in this ship

Mollymauk — I’m sure he was cool, but I get the feeling he’s just cooler now cuz he died. Purple tiefling, always spangled and bedecked with jewels, probably had a sugar daddy in every major city in Tal’dorei. Has slept with every member of the Council. Used hedonism to cope with his soap-opera-grade amnesia, I’m just using my imagination here but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually the smartest person in the party before he died. He would’ve been the Hot One except he’s a little too exotic and intense.

Trent Ickythong? — that name is an aptonym. Slimy piece of garbage whose standing with the party is KOS, but I don’t know why.

The Traveler — trickster god who only obtained his status because a little girl Believed in Him. Before that he liked to shape shift and mess with adventuring parties just for tricksies. Has kind of settled down now that he’s basically a parent but I still don’t know his angle

Essek — Hot. Morally grey/openly evil. Drow. What more do you need to know

[biot08]

Avatar

Ysayle took to her feet, startled, as she heard a loud metallic thud behind her. As she turned, she caught sight of the source of the noise.

One of the knights of Ishgard, judging from the heavy armor and the shield and the way they moved. The mysterious interloper was a tall Elezen, with purple-highlighted short-cropped hair and light brown skin. And just this moment, they were standing up next to the startled sentry who was supposed to be keeping an eye out for that sort of thing.

Not that the sentry could be blamed, really. Nobody could have anticipated that even an adventurer would be fool enough to jump from the cliff face that made up one side of their encampment, but they had, and there she was. Ysayle frowned. Such a loud entrance for a single person didn’t make any sense. Surely they would know that any advantage of surprise such a maneuver would get them would be swiftly blunted by sheer force of opposing numbers.

The sentry had been startled, and was only starting to recover their wits, reaching for a spear. The knight did not give them any such chance, as she rose from her crouch and drove the shield into them, bodily slamming them up against the cliff wall. With a pained noise, they dropped their spear. Seeing their quarry still conscious, the knight proceeded to follow up by slamming her shoulder into the back of her shield, hard. The sentry’s head slammed back into the cliff, bouncing off of it, and the knight helped them finish their journey to the ground by hitting them in the now-exposed back of the head with the pommel of her sword.

The sentry sunk to the ground, unconscious. The knight looked down at them for a long moment, then carefully stepped over the unconscious sentry, walking towards Ysayle, shield up, but sword pointed downward.

Next to Ysayle, another guard, who had been helping her take account of the crystals they had gathered thus far, edged forward cautiously, spear in hand. Ysayle held a hand out towards them as though to bar their way, and shook her head just the tiniest amount. The person looked up, a questioning look on their face, but they halted, and waited.

“Hail, knight of Ishgard,” Ysayle called out, her voice as clear as always.

“What? Oh. Oh! Right. Sorry, no. Just an adventurer. Adventurer-type. I’m from the Scions. Former knight though. House Vauban? We held one of the minor outposts near here for generations.”

The adventurer was calm, conversational. Ysayle found herself momentarily off guard at the brashness, but outwardly, her composure never wavered. She frowned, clenching a fist.

When she spoke, her voice contained velvety venom, and obvious disdain. “And what do you hope to gain here, former knight? Are you hoping to regain your title through glorious combat? Blood to water your supposed honor with?” Ysayle shifted the arm she was holding up to signal her guard to stay back, preparing to give him an entirely different signal.

“One week.”

“…what?”

“Yeah, sorry, wanted to get that bit out fast before you had your man there start in with the jabbing. About a week, that’s what I’m hoping to gain here. That’s how long Lord Drillemont thinks he’ll need to get the place fully evacuated. Snowcloak’s a lot of territory. Well, actually, he wanted two, but you people seem really good at getting crystals together.”

Former knight Vauban swept her gaze around the camp, looking at the boxes of crystals that Ysayle and her followers had already gathered. “… really good. Wow, that’s, what, a quarter of what you had last time? Already?”

Ysayle waved her hand at the remaining guard, dismissing them. The guard frowned in response, but did not question her, placing their spear on their back and walking away, leaving Ysayle and the adventurer alone. “… you are not among those who I faced last time.”

“No. Sorry. But we talk to each other, you know. It’s different, outside of Ishgard. People are less guarded, we talk to each other more. Our particular gift is not common, but it seems it’s maybe not extremely rare, either? You know. There’s a number of us. Small, exclusive club. Some of us are kind of tight knit about it. Sorry. I’m rambling. Anyway, I asked to take point on this one. So here I am.”

The knight found a box of crystals that still had its lid on it, and helped herself to sit down on it, resting her hand on the sword hilt with its tip in the ground. Still holding her shield.

Ysayle regarded the knight cooly for a long moment. “So what is the point of all these theatrics, then? If it is not blood you seek, then what? Parley?”

“Sure, let’s go with that. I mean, sort of. Well, not really. Part of it was I wanted to prove I still knew the area as well as I thought I did. You and your people have done a good job, exploiting the tunnel and ravine network. I’m impressed. Though, uh, that route that your caravan with the latest load of crystals is taking to get here? It’s so smooth on top because it’s just an ice sheet over what used to be a river ravine. Fast to travel over, generally.”

The knight leaned her sword against the box for a moment to dig around in a bag. Finding what she wanted, she pulled out an alchemical flask, and rolled it on the ground towards Ysayle.

“… Hearth’s Warmth.”

“Yeah. Common enough. You know the sort, right? Good replacement for a campfire if your wood’s garbage or you can’t find any tinder. Nice, gentle heat, spreads everywhere, scales up well. Make the right batch and arrange it right, you can heat an entire fort for a sennight. Place it in the right place in some underground ravine tunnels, and you can really mess up an ice sheet.”

Ysayle’s gaze snapped from the flask to the former knight’s face, clenching a fist and beginning to take a step forward. “The caravan-!”

“Is fine. Will be fine. Unless they’re a lot faster than I think they were. They’ll have to go around, though. It’ll take some time. Few days. Maybe even a week.”

Ysayle’s glare was fit to melt the ice the adventurer was talking about all by itself. Her hands were in fists, now. Violence seemed like it would almost be pointless. She could always summon the guard back, and all of the guard’s compatriots that would be elsewhere in the camp. For her part, the adventurer did not see to be very much bothered by the fact that she was, in fact, sitting in the center of a very dangerous position to be in.

“You said ‘part’,” said Ysayle, slowly, annunciating each word for a kind of emphasis.

“Oh yeah. Other part. I should let you know, while we’re just talking, I’ve got friends behind me, and a little thing in my back that’ll make it easier for them to travel the streams to get here. I… I don’t think I want to fight you though, Lady Iceheart. It is Lady Iceheart, right?”

Ysayle stepped back out of combat stance, standing tall, statuesque. “Lady Iceheart. Yes. I am the leader of the heretics, if that is who you seek. As I am certain you have heard, I harbor the spirit of Shiva, reborn, if that is what you came here to ask me.”

The knight was quiet for a long moment, and turned her gaze away, to look down at the ground a little bit away from her. She rubbed her fingers idly, seeming to be suddenly uncomfortable.

“You seem to be a lot of things to a lot of people, you know. Of course you know. You’re more than just a person. Even more so now, that you’ve demonstrated that neat trick with the Shiva manifestation or … whatever you want to cal it. I don’t want to argue about that, let me have that, never mind that. The point is, you know… you’re a symbol. People believe in you.”

“They are right to do so. I accept Ishgard’s tired and weary and unwanted all in kind. I accept those who want to see an end to this pointless bloodshed. Know this true, former-knight of House Vauban. I will see an end to this war.”

“Yeah? And the tired and weary of Stormcloak?”

Ysayle took a deep breath in, and let it out slow. “Unfortunate but necessary.”

The knight looked up at Ysayle, and then gestured at the place where the guard used to be. “Noticed you sent the guard away. If you hadn’t, we might not be having this conversation at all. But you did.”

“I do not spill blood needlessly, nor let it be spent on my behalf without cause, adventurer. Not every problem needs to be solved with your kinds’ particular brand of overwhelming violence. And if it does,” and at this Ysayle stood up a little taller, “I am capable of delivering it myself.”

“Yeah. Admirable, I guess,” said the knight. She still looked uncomfortable, and had not stopped fidgeting.

“…my cousin looked up to you. I don’t imagine you’d know him from anyone else, but he looked up to you. I first thought he was just lovesick again. You know how they are when they’re young. He would go on about your beautiful hair, the way you held yourself. He was careful, of course, none of us knew he was talking about you, specifically, the leader of the heretics. But it wasn’t just infatuation. No, figured that out eventually. He was a true believer. Tried to share his views with the rest of us. We didn’t listen, of course. I still think he was wrong. You haven’t exactly convinced me otherwise. But… but he believed.”

“And the Inquisition found out, and they cleared your house, and they executed some of your people? I am familiar with the tale. I do not control the Inquisition, knight, and while your misfortunes -are- unfortunate they are not from my hand.”

“Oh. I know. Not where I was going with that. I mean, you’re right, but I don’t blame you for what happened to my house. The Inquisition happened, and maybe one day there will be a reckoning for that, but that’s not your problem. No, I… I guess, what I really wanted to know, is… my cousin. Your people. You take care of them, right?”

Ysayle frowned. This adventurer was an odd sort. Certainly, she was not used to one who talked so much before getting around to introducing the pointy end to whatever problem they thought needed it.

“So you are not here to join my forces, and you are not here to eliminate them. You… just want to know… that your cousin is all right?”

“No. I mean, yes, but I don’t expect you to know that, and I know what it’s like out here, I’m not naive. I want to know… that you’re taking care of them. All of them. You lead, that’s obvious. I get that. But… do you really truly believe you’re going to end this war? And for what? For the dragons? For yourself?”

The adventurer was obviously leading the conversation to an obvious point, and Ysayle so no reason not to let them. It helped that it would be true.

“For all of us. For every Ishgardian.  And for the dragons, as well. That every drop of blood spent will be the last.”

Ysayle stood tall. Resplendent. Snow crystals floated down gently through the camp. The knight sat, continuing to fidget, slowly. Ysayle was a pillar in the storm. She always was.

She always would be.

The knight nodded to herself before slowly standing to her full height. As much a pillar as Ysayle, tall, imposing. The two faced each other in the silence of the cold winter night.

“The delay in the crystals getting here, I think that buys three, four days. Fighting you here would drain the crystals you already have. I figure that buys another two, three days. That’s a week for Lord Drillemont to fully evacuate Snowcloak. One week.”

The knight twirled her sword in her hand.

“So. We wanna do this?”

~~~

Zoissette returned to the base camp, her hair a mess, her expression tired, and her movements belying a deep exhaustion. She waved away several squires that stepped forward to offer to help, making her way to center of the camp. She dropped her shield unceremoniously into the snow next to the central fire that was burning, and then landed bodily with a thud on the ground next to it. She fought her sword belt for a few moments, and then, growing frustrated, she growled viciously at it and began to bite at the straps holding her gauntlets in place instead.

“Enjoy your climb?” said Y’sthola, barely looking up from her tome.

Zoissette stopped chewing her armor’s straps for long enough to answer. “Invigorating,” she said, before returning her teeth to their task, managing to wrest the strap free of its latch. She waved her hand in the air, trying to shake the gauntlet off rather than try to take it off properly.

Y’shtola sighed, setting her book aside, and got up, coming around the fire to grasp the gauntlet.

“I swear, you are like a child, and one I did not ask to look after.”

“Thanks for the help, mom.”

“Hnh.”

“Help me with the other one?”

“…if you insist.”

Zoissette gave Y’shtola a broad exaggerated smile, and Y’shtola rolled her eyes at Zoissette’s antics.

“You are older than many of us. Must you act like you are half that?”

Zoissette shrugged with the one shoulder. “It’s fun.”

Y’shtola got the other gauntlet off with little effort, and set it down neatly on the ground next to the first one. “Please tell me you at least managed to track down our elusive quarry.”

Zoissette’s playfulness evaporated, and she seemed to fold in on herself a bit. “Yeah. Found the crystals, too. It’ll be a problem again eventually, but for now… we can tell Lord Drillemont that he has his week.”

Y’shtola looked at Zoissette’s face with a frown. “And the Lady Shiva?”

“Handled.”

Y’shtola sat, crouched in the snow next to Zoissette. Zoissette, her hands now free of their gauntlets, set about unlatching her sword belt instead. She decided not to push the matter.

“Well… very well. We should return once you are rested, then, and inform the others.”

Zoissette just nodded. Finally free of her sword belt, she set it and its sword aside, and leaned back slowly into her shield, looking up into the sky. Y’shtola turned her gaze upward as well, and watched as snowflakes fell gently into the camp.

[devildom-dedicated-daydreams]

Cheating Bastard and Puppy Brother (Cheater!Lucifer x Reader x Mammon) Part 4

Part 3

WARNING: Offensive language, sexual themes, dubcon

Diavolo had thousands of request forms to oversee and approve for the upcoming school festival, he called over Lucifer to help him segregate the doable from the impractical, but while Diavolo already finished half of his share, Lucifer was only on his seventeenth request form. He kept glancing over his D.D.D. resting on the corner of the table, which was odd, Diavolo thought, because Lucifer usually kept his device on silent and tucked away in his pocket. 

Diavolo called him but Lucifer didn’t respond.

“Lucifer,” he repeated. Again, it was like Lucifer was deaf.

Diavolo sighed and then snapped his fingers, sparking red lights in front of his aide.

Lucifer drew back in surprise, almost shifting into his demon form before calming down and facing Diavolo. He cleared his throat, “Did you need something?”

“No, but it seems like you’re preoccupied. Too preoccupied to do your work,” coming from Diavolo, the words weren’t meant to reprimand but to console. It has been years since he has seen Lucifer stressed to the point he couldn’t do his work.

“Maybe you should take a break, Lucifer. Finish the paperwork tomorrow,” Diavolo suggested. He may be the Crown Prince of Hell but even demons valued friendship.

Lucifer was going to decline but then his D.D.D. buzzed. Not wanting to appear too eager, he gracefully gathered the remaining paperwork and sorted them in the rightful drawer before bowing to Diavolo and leaving with his phone.

Once he was out of the office, Lucifer checked the new message but was disappointed that the sender wasn’t who he was expecting.

He opened Asmodeus’ message, thinking that it was yet another complaint about one of their brothers stealing his beauty products, but was surprised to see that it was a link to the campus newspaper’s website.

His D.D.D. was almost obliterated when he read the headlines:

[RAD DEMON AND HUMAN EXCHANGE STUDENT DATING!?]

Beneath the bold text was a picture of Mammon and you eating dinner at a human-food restaurant. When you dated Lucifer, he made it clear that he didn’t want to make the relationship public and Asmodeus’ flirtation with every living being (including you and fellow human, Solomon) did not count as dating, so this was the news of the century.

Lucifer didn’t understand. Were you doing this on purpose? Were you trying to get on his nerves?

He thinks back to that fateful night at that restaurant and wonders when everything went to hell.

He ran a hand through his hair and marched out of the academy. He needed to talk to you, and he was going to shove Mammon into a freezer for what he did.

***

Lamia checked the comments on the discussion board beneath the news article. Demons made fun of humans for being too nosey and judgmental but her species was just as bad. Harsh criticisms on both Mammon and that human garbage flew in one after another.

The True Pazuzu: Did that moron brother officially lose it?

I Am Roth: An idiot demon and a human -- they’re perfect for each other!

Hari_ng_Aswang: I can’t believe that human had the audacity to seduce one of the avatars. What a slut!

rosemarysbabe: What’s more shocking is that Mammon actually fell for her.

DwendeBoi: @rosemarysbabe How could you possibly know if Mammon actually likes her? She could just be a plaything for all we know!

Mammon’sClubPresident: @DwendeBoi That’s right, no one deserves Mammon but me!

Lamia wondered if this piece of news reached Lucifer. Surely, this coupled with that one, glorious night she and Lucifer shared should finally end his relationship with his human whore. She has had her fair share of human flesh, often breaking marriages and sometimes even tempting men of faith away from their God.

She chuckled and thought back to that night …

*

Lucifer tugged on his tie and breathed. Tonight was supposed to be a very personal, very special occasion but before he could go home and celebrate with you, he had to deal with Devildom’s entertainment industry.

He was Diavolo’s proxy in this pseudo-formal gathering. Pseudo-formal because this party had nothing to do with Devildom politics and everything about rising stars finding potential benefactors. Asmodeus would’ve fit right in with this crowd, Lucifer thought.

He glanced at his pocket watch. The party was supposed to end two hours ago and he should’ve been back at the House of Lamentation giving you your one-year-anniversary present.

While he debated with himself whether to stay or not, a familiar figure slithered towards his side. Lamia wore a slinky silver dress that was treading between sinful and tasteful, a human man and even the average demon would sell his soul for a single night with her. But Lucifer was immune to her so-called charms. The only creature that could tempt him was you.

To her every attempt at conversation, he merely smiled politely or nodded tersely. Sometimes he gave no reaction at all, finding the desserts on the buffet table more interesting.

Lamia, the rising star of Devildom’s film industry, did not take too kindly to being ignored. She’s never been one to chase after her partners (it was always the opposite) but she has always been fascinated by the seven brothers, especially the oldest. The fame and glory of having him would secure her position as a celebrity. She only came to this stupid party because she heard he would be coming as the royal family’s representative. But now he’s like this?

Throwing caution to the wind, she decided to up the ante and tried to press herself against him as she spoke. “Hey, Lucifer … I’m actually feeling a little lonely, would you perhaps -- ”

Lucifer gracefully stepped away before they could touch and she almost stumbled. He cleared his throat, “I beg your pardon, I think it would be best if we don’t start any rumors by acting like we’re close friends.” He wore his practised smile but his tone was firm. He then turned around and went to the balcony.

Lamia was left on her own, clenching her hands tightly and cheeks hot-red from anger and embarrassment. Suddenly, one of her competitors approached her, snickering.

“Don’t even bother. Lucifer never pays anybody attention, especially now that he has that human for a lover.”

Hearing this made Lamia a hundred times more bitter. She bit her cheek so hard she drew blood, but then she quickly composed herself and gave her rival a sneaky smile. “We’ll see about that,” she declared before turning on her heels and approaching the buffet table.

She reached into her shell-shaped bag and pulled out a small glass vial. It was a little gift from a witch fan of hers, the girl was not her type but she had talent, particularly with aphrodisiacs and Lamia asked for this special brew just for tonight. Just for Lucifer. She didn’t actually think she had to use it but it’s a good thing she kept it in her purse.

She poured all the contents in a single glass of blood-spiced wine. She then picked up a glass of crystal water and then followed Lucifer to the balcony.

“I want to apologize for my earlier behavior,” she said, handing him the potion-laced wine.

Lucifer glanced away from his D.D.D., gave her a small smile and took the wine.

“I know we just met and I’ve made a terrible impression on you so I thought we could start again.”

He nodded, but she caught his eyes when they ever-so-slightly rolled towards his D.D.D.

He was definitely distracted.

Lamia raised her own glass, “To new beginnings.”

*

Lamia grinned. With this, she can kick Mammon out of the entertainment business and get Lucifer for herself.

Part 5

EDIT: Lucifer didn’t cheat. Lamia tricked him using an aphrodisiac, i.e. she raped him. Now, I don’t want to get too pedantic or political because that’s not what this blog is for, but I will like to clarify that non-consensual sex is never okay. I don’t want you guys to think that just because Lucifer more or less takes the incident in stride that I take female-on-male rape lightly in real life. Do remember what this fanfic is truly about (for angst-inducing entertainment involving two demon brothers and not a sociological or political commentary) and that it is literally about thousand-year-old demons.  

[myngxy-sue]

What Friends Are For

A friend comes to help Lucifer after his disastrous marriage seemingly breaks him.

Pairings: Sue x Lucifer Word count: 2096 Chapters: N/A Genres: Angst, hurt/comfort Warnings: Implied self-harm, alcoholism and referenced cheating

She let out a soft gasp, slowly eyeing the bedroom Lucifer once effortlessly kept in immaculate condition be in a state of disarray, a room that reeked of alcohol and heartbreak. Bottles upon bottles were scattered all over the floor, all clearly from the most elite brands. There was a photo album amongst the bottles that was soaked in wine, clothes jumbled on the sofa and a wedding ring discarded on a table.

As her eyes rested on the bed, she saw a man whose very presence struck fear into those who uttered his name reduced to nothing more than a broken person trying to shield himself from the pain by cocooning himself in a blanket.

The sight of it all gave Sue a pained feeling in her chest. Sure, she may be Lucifer’s self-proclaimed rival but that didn’t mean she was heartless towards him. Their constant bickering and opposition was nothing more than harmless fun. She never wished to see Lucifer suffer, especially not like this. 

She approached the bed slowly, making sure to watch her step and not slip on one of the bottles. If it was the Lucifer she knew, he would’ve noticed her presence by now. Hell, he would’ve noticed long before she even opened the door. But that Lucifer was gone. When he’d return, Sue wasn’t sure. 

“Luce?” Sue muttered, not really sure how to start the conversation.

“What are you doing here?” Lucifer whispered, not even bothering to turn to her.

Sue tightened her grip on her handbag. “I just wanted to check on you after… You know… What happened between you and Carmen… But if you want me to leave then I’ll just-”

“You can stay here if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…”

Sue nodded, looked around awkwardly before spotting a nearby chair and bringing it over next to Lucifer’s bed.

“So…” Sue trailed as she sat down. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“What can you do for me?”

Sue shrugged. “I dunno… Just anything you want me to do, I guess…”

Lucifer shifted in his blanket, changing his position so he could face Sue. He exposed his face.  He looked like a mess. Too many strands stuck out of place, his eyes were red from all that useless weeping and the dark circles underneath somehow got even darker. His aura was stale. Then he hid again.

"There's no need to trouble yourself over me…" Lucifer said. "I'll take care of myself just fine."

"Lucifer, all you've been doing is drinking and staying locked up in your room." Sue pointed out.

"Do you expect me to do anything else?"

"Just anything but this…"

Lucifer let out a heavy sigh, probably wanting to say something but he remained silent. 

"You haven't been taking care of yourself, have you?" Sue fiddled with her fingers right after asking, knowing that it pretty much goes without saying.

"I just want to drink my sorrows away…"

Sue bit her lip before speaking again. "How about you just let it all out instead of drowning it in alcohol?"

Silence.

"You should just cry and vent your frustrations. It won't magically solve everything but it'll help you feel a little better."

"I cried enough when I kicked her out," Lucifer deadpanned.

"Are you sure?" Sue questioned quietly.

Lucifer curled himself up into the fetal position. "Why do you even care? Isn't this what you wanted? I'm at my lowest point, you should relish in it."

"I can't…" Sue admitted.

"Why not?"

"I just can't…" Sue said at first.

There was yet another moment of silence between them. Sue didn't want it to be like this but there was really nothing she could do. She'd probably say something wrong if she tried to break the moments of silence.

"I don't really hate you, Lucifer…" Sue said. "I don't think either of us do… I actually care about you a lot… I wouldn't be here if I didn't care…" She smiled weakly.

"Sue?"

"Yeah?

Yet another pause. "You won't mind holding my hand, would you?"

When he stuck his hand out from under the covers, Sue held it without hesitation. She noticed a fresh set of scars around his wrist but she didn't bring them up. Maybe another time, she thought to herself.

"You know what it's like to feel betrayed, right? Betrayed by the very two people you put most of your trust into?" Lucifer asked.

"Not really," Sue answered. "I mean, I know what betrayal feels like but it's nothing compared to how you're probably feeling."

"I can't help but feel like all of this is my fault…" 

"Why would you say that?"

When Lucifer didn't answer right away, Sue held his hand a little tighter, just as a way to tell him that she was all ears when she couldn't articulate her words.

"You were always my harshest critic. You should know what's wrong with me. But I can only do so much self-improvement with this sin of mine. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that I didn't change at all. Maybe that's why she started seeing Diavolo. He's everything I'm not, the perfect partner."

"It's not your fault this time," Sue assured him. "And even if it was, they'd still be at fault. There are just some things that can't be justified."

"And you say all of that despite knowing who I am?"

"Luce… You're not the man I used to know when I came down here…"

He peeked from under the covers.

"Back then, I didn't think my words would get to you at all. I mean, you are the Avatar of Pride and I thought your sin would make you blind to any sort of criticism, especially from a human like myself. But the moment you pulled me aside for my advice, I knew at that moment that you had what it took to be a better person."

"..."

"Diavolo and Carmen may have taken it for granted but everyone else took notice of your self-improvement. We're all proud of you, Lucifer. I don't know what your relationship with your brothers was like before the fall but it's better than what I was introduced to when I first arrived at Devildom."

Lucifer tightened his grip on Sue's hand, nearly crushing it, but he softened his grip after feeling her flinch in response. He began to shudder under the covers. Sue rested her free hand on his just so she could assure him.

"I broke my back for both of them, sometimes I put them above my own family, we made promises to each other and then they do this to me!" Lucifer finally wept. "Is loyalty something beyond their grasp? Fuck no, it isn't! They knew what they were doing to me, I'm fucking sure! Putting my trust into Carmen was one thing, but I've trusted Diavolo for thousands of years!"

"Yeah, I'm mad at them both but Diavolo disappointed me the most." 

"I wish I'd never made that promise to him! I wish I'd never met her! I shouldn't be hurting so much over them yet here I am!" He continued. 

"There's nothing wrong with feeling hurt. You've put your trust in them. They broke that trust. So, I say you can cry about it as much as you need to."

"God, I wish I could say more but I don't know what else to say… I just hate them! I hate them both!"

Sue nodded. "You can just cry about it."

And cry he did, releasing so much raw emotion that he would’ve kept to himself. Every once in a while, he had something to say. It wasn’t much but Sue listened regardless. It was usually him expressing his resentment towards Diavolo and Carmen. She just sat there, stroking his hand assuringly and taking in all the feelings he pours out. Time went by sluggishly. After a while, Lucifer stopped, finally freeing himself from his self made cocoon while still holding onto Sue.

Sue smiled at him weakly, pondering what to do or say next. “So, did you remember to drink any water?”

Lucifer shook his head quietly, looking around in disbelief. He too was shocked at what had become of his own living space. 

“I’ll bring you a glass,” Sue said as she stood up. “I’m guessing you haven’t eaten anything either.”

He shook his head again. “I didn’t feel like eating at all.”

“You should at least nibble on something, as a start.” 

Sue got him a tall glass of water and a cookie. She had to prevent the demon from drinking all the water too quickly lest he make himself sick. 

“You should wash your face too,” Sue suggested. 

“I think I’d rather try and take a quick shower.”

“Are you sure?”

Lucifer nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Do you want me to get you some bandages when you’re done?”

“Sure,” Lucifer said, looking at his scarred wrist and cringing.

“I’ll be outside if you need me,” Sue said as she took her leave.

She went straight to the common bathroom where they kept all their medical supplies and took out a roller bandage and an antiseptic for good measure. The wounds were still fresh. As she went about this, she felt her phone buzz a few times. When she checked, she saw that Carmen and Diavolo were sending her messages. She deleted the notifications and shut off her phone. Now wasn’t the time to confront them.

But in her head, she rehearsed the many things she wanted to say to them, the many words to shame them. She’d never truly forgiven them, not after bringing Lucifer to such a low point. She wanted to toss them like garbage. To her, some things could never be justified, never forgiven. She was all too familiar with cheating. 

She wanted to break them, see them crumble beneath her feet and beg for mercy. But that was all just a stargirl way of thinking. The damage was already done. Trying to get Lucifer back on his feet was more important. After all, she didn’t know them as well as he did.

“You ready?” Sue called after knocking on the door. 

“Yes.”

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, sleeve already pulled up to his bicep, arm resting on his lap. Lucifer kept his eyes on his wounds as Sue sat next to him. Lucifer’s hand only twitched a little as she cleaned his cuts, his pride returning somewhat to prevent himself from showing pain. Then she wrapped his wrist.

“Good job.”

Lucifer turned to the human only to find her with a soft smile on her face. “For what?”

“For trying,” Sue said.

It took a moment for Lucifer to process. He didn't quite get how something as trivial as trying was worth praising. To him, his best was the only thing worth it. But he wasn’t going to act like he didn’t enjoy getting complimented for something so minimal. 

They shared a quick, quiet chuckle with each other until settling into silence for the umpteenth time that evening. Their smiles slowly faded away. Lucifer supposed he felt a little better even with the images of Carmen sleeping with Diavolo plaguing his mind. His heart was still heavy over that. But when he told himself that there was a life beyond them, he believed it. 

He did just fine before they came in. There was no reason why he couldn’t do much better without them. Even when he fell, he wasn’t alone.

“Sue?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming down here,” Lucifer smiled. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“Oh… Um… That’s just what friends do, you know.” Sue smiled sheepishly, not really expecting Lucifer to say anything like that. “We should probably do something about this room sometime soon. But not right now, if you don’t want to.”

“No, we should clean it up right now. I don’t think I could stand another day living in this.”

Together they gathered bags and threw away what needed to be thrown away. Clothes were sorted out, with the clean being put away and the dirty being set aside for washing. The photo album, which was dubbed unsalvageable and contained nothing but pictures of Carmen and Lucifer was thrown into the freshly lit fireplace. 

At that moment, Lucifer understood how Sue felt about the note she wrote some years back, a note only the both of them acknowledged. It was nothing more than ashes now, something to be forgotten about. His marriage to Carmen and friendship with Diavolo would follow suit.

It didn’t take long for Lucifer to decide what to do with the ring. As he and Sue carried out bags of bottles, they ran into Mammon. After a relatively short conversation about Lucifer’s wellbeing, the demon handed his little brother the hoop of fine gold.

“Take it. Do whatever you want with it. Keep it, melt it or sell it for some ungodly amount. I don’t care. Just do what you like.”

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Dobbear! SYAC: The Master Review 6

I am so going to ruin someone’s childhood with that now, but...

guys, it had to be done!

Dashing and daring…

Courageous and caring!

Faithful and friendly…

 With stories to share!

 Doesn’t at all apply to this one artist…

Lesbian obsessed and  each nerddom’s nightmare!

Dobby BEAR!

Whinning here and there and everywhere!

Making claims that are beyond compare…

This is our Dobby-Bear!

Yeah, if you can’t guess, around now is the time I am going to put down the kids gloves and will really dig into why SYAC is garbage. And a huge factor into this, is in part Dobson’s self insert past 2012.

The existence of the blue bear as Dobson officially calls it (or Dobbear as most people call it) is in my opinion rather baffling already in terms of design choices.

I get e.g. that Dobson wanted to distance himself of his past humanoid self inserts as much as possible. But why of all things a bear?

The fact I am focused on that may sound weird, but hear me out for a bit. For starters, I know that Dobson likes western animation. And seeing how western animation has for the longest time been dominated by anthropomorphic animals, I can understand why he would redesign himself as a funny cartoon animal.

But there are at least three things that feel weird about it. First, Dobson had made it clear in the past that he hates furries. So him actually redesigning himself as an anthropomorphic animal is kinda weird

In fact, Dobson himself acknowledges that realization in one of his strips shortly after his fursona took over.

Second, of all the animals to choose from, why a bear? This question is in so far valid, as that bears are not necessarily one of the first to go animals, furries or western animators tend to go for when designing an anthro. And before any furries or anthro enthusiasts are calling me a hater, let me make one thing clear: I like anthropomorphic cartoon and comic characters too, and am okay with most furries. As long as you don’t have a diaper fetish, are a pedophile  or hurt actual animals, you can do and enjoy whatever you like.

But I am also aware enough of furry culture to know, that bear based anthros are most of the time hyper sexualized and muscular, connecting them to how the term “bear” is used in real life gay culture. Which is okay, I think it is just a funny coincidence that Dobson choose an animal, that most furries associate with a life style that Dobson is deeply afraid of, even if he claims to be an LGBT ally.

And as stated earlier, bears are not necessarily the go to animals for animators.

Don’t get me wrong, we all know some cartoon bears like Winnie the Pooh, Yogi Bear, Poh and the main cast of TaleSpin (btw, Kit Cloudkicker fan for life). But lets be honest here; ducks, mice, rabbits, canines, felines, equines and any other “easily to domesticate” animal in the real world tends to make better for easily recognizable cartoon characters than something that can reach a size of 3 meters tops and weigh over 500 pounds.

Truth be told, the pool of cartoon bears is so small, these are the first two things that came to my mind when thinking what may have inspired the Dobbear

And wouldn’t you know? According to Dobson, the Carebears were supposedly the main inspiration for his design.

 Unfortunately, this is also more or less the most I could find of Dobson addressing what went into the creation of the character.

Which kinda brings me also to the third issue as why I think the bear redesign is weird; It is too sudden.

One day Dobson draws himself as a shaved 20 something, the next day he is a fedora wearing Carebear clone, likely created and then rejected by Care Bear villain No Heart, as part of a plot to create a mole when conquering Care-A-Lot.

… and now I need to reevaluate my choices in life, that I was able to make such an elaborate Carebear joke.

It is just a change of design that in my opinion should have been addressed either outside of the comic or in context of it. Which it kinda is, but isn’t.

See, this is the first strip with the blue bear

And then only 13 strips or so later in something called “Continuity” is Dobson more or less willing to address the change…

And he does so in a passive aggressive manner, with Persistent Pam as a stand in for those asking him what is going on, while Dobson just dismissively continues working.

On one hand, you can argue that this is just the joke. The change happened, don’t bother with it, just enjoy what is still to come. And you know, I don’t want to make a rope out of everything Dobson ever posted, including that comic.

But then you have also to account for the fact, that Dobson would eventually associate himself with the blue bear so much, he made him his avatar and icon for his comics and online accounts. In fact, that one comic I posted WAY BACK in the first Master post of Dobson reminiscing how he started SYAC?

For reasons that are a bit confusing to me, he redrew himself (badly I have to add) as the blue bear in one of his earliest strips ever. The one where he belittles the manga fangirl for drawing manga. So I have to ask, what is going on here? Has Dobson increasingly decided to reset his past? Does he want to destroy any traces of his “human” self in his work to create the illusion to any new readers, that he never was as controversial of a person as he was and that there never was a need for him to reimagine and reinvent himself? Is this 1984? And how many of you realize that this paragraph is just me going conspiracy nuts for the sake of entertainment?

But still, it is kinda weird that he went to the bother of redrawing his human self in that one background sketch as a bear. Plus, I honestly think Dobson never even attempting to “explain” the change in the pages of his comics is a wasted opportunity for some decent jokes. Like every time Dobson tries to explain why he is a bear now, something interrupts him or we only get fragments of a story that if we put them together would be as ridiculous as the entirety of “Trapped in the Closet”.

I mean, the dumbest joke idea I have in mind is that Dobson went to build a bear to get a present for a family member. Instead he was build into a bear and later on successfully sued the company, which explains why he can afford to live despite not really working on comics anymore but lecture people badly about the evils of nerd culture.

So yeah, three major things about the design choice that more or less confuse me.

But here is the thing: Confusion is nothing compared to feeling genuine disdain for the design at hand. And compared to Dobson’s earlier human designs, Dobbear is just utterly unlikable.

A lot of that boils down to the following three facts:

1. From a certain point in time on (which I will cover in more detail later on) Dobson uses his bearsona primarily as a soapboxing mouth piece to talk about “politics” in nerd culture. Or at least what Dobson perceives as politics, coming off like a condescending jackass who believes among other things that white people are inherently incapable to identify with black people…

 … or that comic book shops have radicalized nerd culture, essentially calling them terror cells.

Which btw are so inherently offensive to me, I promise I will cover these two separately. One even sooner than the other.

2. If Dobbear is not talking about politics, he will tend to be a smug asshole to other people (most of the time strawmen) or their interests in one way or another. Being e.g. used by Dobson to express his disdain for criticism…

 or to mock legit criticism he had gotten by exaggerating things.

 All while also tending to make his critics look like inherent assholes.

These two facts, combined with Dobson’s average erratic behavior online on platforms such as dA, twitter and tumblr over the years, pretty much assured such a close association between the two, that a separation between artist and creation was not possible anymore, condemning them.

And for the record; Dobson was always a bit of a whinner who liked to act as if he was a better nerd than the average comic book fan. Otherwise, we would have not e.g. gotten Danny and Spot out of it.

But as the years went by in the last decade, Dobson turned from someone in his mid 20s, desperate to be seen as a “quirky” and likable internet persona (like certain internet reviewers), into a virtue signaling, lesbian obsessed asshole who likely regrets his life choices.

… Like certain internet reviewers.

But seriously, Dobson turned into someone who would flip the lid at something as ridiculous as Cheeto flavored chicken fries…

 While also being just the worst type of condescending nerd….

All while losing his mind about politics. Especially after Donald Trump became president

And just as Dobson became a radicalized left winged jackass who saw politics in everything he consumed, so did by default Dobbear, because Dobbear was not a character with his own personality, but a mouth piece.

Something I am about to get into detail in the near future. But till then, I want to cover in the next post the following third and final fact about Dobbear that really makes him unlikable to me: The fact he can’t be happy.

[belpheroo]

Take Your Human to Work Day

Rating: M, non-explicit. (I AM TERRIBLE AT WRITING SMUT so all ya get is a lewd) Pairing: Mammon x F!Reader (mc) Summary: Mammon convinces you to join him in a photoshoot but neglects to mention exactly what type of attire you’ll be modeling. Prompt: “Why do I get the feeling that you’re about to tell me something I really don’t want to hear?” “...Experience?”

ACCEPT MY GARBAGE FIC OFFERING. It’s my first time, so it’s probably not very good, but alas, come and get ya Mammon juice.

If there was one drawback to a human living in Devildom, it was the nearly perpetual night. Granted, there actually were many drawbacks for a human living in Devildom, including but not limited to, being surrounded by demons—but as one who enjoyed the beach and the sunshine, it was the biggest drawback for you.

You had been supplied with two decently sized happy lamps when you had informed Diavlo that it was necessary to keep you from getting, as you had eloquently put it, “funny in the head”. This along with having your skin sallow and your hair fall out. That last one might have been an over exaggeration, but he got the point. 

The lamps weren’t the sun, that was sure, but one extra long power extension, a towel and your favorite bathing suit later, you were laid out in the yard and nearly convinced they were.

A shadow cast over you and you huffed a sigh, tipping your sunglasses down briefly to make out the silhouette before resettling them in place.

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re about to tell me something I really don’t want to hear?”

“... experience?” Mammon said after a pause and you could hear the smug smile in his voice.

“You’re in my light.”

“As if these things could compare to basking in my presence!”

“Can I have both?” you said, stretching your arms up towards him beckoningly. A victory, you could hear him sputter, stumbling over words as he stepped back and took his shadow with him.

“Sheesh, why you gotta say stuff like that… anyway, I gotta job coming up! Model gig. Except they are talkin’ bout canceling it cause the girl who was supposed to pose with me dropped!”

“Tragic.” you said, turning onto your stomach. The swimsuit dipped low in the back and you swore you could feel Mammon’s eyes on your skin in the breathe pause that followed. He composed himself in short time and said indignantly,

“It is! If I don’t get the Grimm from this gig I’m gonna be in the red! The red red.”

“Mammon… you’re always in the red.”

“Planned red! This ain’t planned!”

Realizing your relaxation time was most likely over, you sat up, sitting back on your knees and flicking off the lamps so you could see Mammon properly. It took a moment for your eyes to adjust, but you thought for a moment you saw a distinct flush on his cheeks. You would have loved nothing more than to tease him, but something in his eyes said this was a serious subject.

“You want me to take her place, is that it?”

“Yeah! Wow, brains and beauty, you really are the whole package!” Mammon said, the false flattery distinguished by the fact he managed to get the entire complement out without stammering.

“Shoulda buttered me up before I laid down to cook.” you mumbled to yourself.

“Eh?”

“Nothing. S’long as I am modeling clothes, then… I’ll help.”

As if it ever was in doubt that you would help him. Mammon could be ridiculous, but somehow the Avatar of Greed had managed to light up a warm spot in your heart. He’d pay for this later in some way, you told yourself, something fun. You’d need to consult Asmo to come up with the perfect restitution for your help.

“C-course we are modeling clothes, what else would we be modeling?” Mammon said, eyes averted. You had a strange feeling that somehow he was being duplicitous, but then again, that could just be his own hidden shyness.

“Alright alright. When is it?”

Mammon turned back to face you and grinned, “Now.”

---

The moment you looked at the clothes laid out in the dressing room of the studio, you knew you had been had. “Clothes” could barely describe the variety of undergarments. There was lace and frills, leather and satin with bows and one silk robe you imagined was an attempt at modesty, even with how short it was. You wondered how Mammon’s own wardrobe looked and silently vowed revenge if he came out in anything less revealing.

None of them were really to your style, but that was easily done given the circumstances. You borrowed from two outfits, a lacy white bralette that covered clear to your middle and a pair of frilly bloomers with red ribbon. It was the most covered of any of the outfits and the result was pretty cute. You took a moment to admire the cut in the mirror in the dressing room and decided to finish up with a pair of white knee highs with ribbon that matched the bloomers. To your chagrin, you noted the bottom of the socks feet had little kitten paws printed on them.

A few female demons came in, awe’ing and ooo’ing at your combination, though obviously a little perplexed by the attempt at modesty. They did makeup to match, simple and cute with ample amounts of rosy blush and highlighter with what you were pretty sure were actual gold flecks. They showed up like glitter freckles across your cheeks.

“What kinda clothing line is this even?” you asked, closing your eyes halfway and looking down as they applied mascara.

“A luxe lingerie! Each outfit caters to one kind of ideal. Mammon always models our newest line.”

He was a dead man. Dead.

---

You would have paid someone for a longer robe, holding the silk covering tight across your body as you stalked out of the dressing room. Mammon was already out in front of the lights, talking to a lady demon with a camera around her neck.

He wasn’t even wearing the damn robe, but instead had some very tight looking boxer shorts and a white shirt, held with a garter that was meant to keep it from coming untucked. The buttons near the top of his chest were undone and you found yourself more distracted trying to see further down the v of his shirt, rather than let your eyes drift to the way the shorts hugged around him in a way that left nothing to the imagination.

You snapped your thoughts and your eyes back up.

“Mammon.”

He knew that tone, tensing immediately and turning with a grin towards you.

���H-Hey! You uhm— you look nice! You ready to do this? Gonna be fun!”

“Mammon.” you repeated, tone rising as you undid the robe and pulled it open, displaying the outfit,  “What the hell is this!?”

He flushed from the top of his cheeks to the base of his throat, a breath caught in his chest before he swallowed hard, throat bobbing.

“... cute? I mean— Yeah! Cute!”

The other demons and camera crew had fallen back, clearly not wanting to get in the way between Mammon and what you planned for him.

A sly smile of your own tugged at your lips.

“So you ready? Just a couple pics and then payday!” Mammon said, attempting to look anywhere but at you. Your smile only sliced up higher and you put on your best cheery yet somehow still icy smile, already planning your revenge.

“Oh, I’m ready. And you’re right. This is gonna be so fun.”

Mammon’s eyes widened, startled and apprehensive, but clearly not enough to keep him from following you in front of the bright stage lights. There were few props, just a bed (of course) and a velvet backed chair. Everything was done in lush reds and golds.

“It’s real simple, all you gotta do is pose—”

“I have a Devilgram account, Mammon. I know how to pose!” you said, slipping in close. You put a hand behind his neck and bent a knee, pressing your thigh against Mammon’s hip. Instinctively, he cupped his hand under your knee, keeping you balanced. There were several flashes. Mammon hardly had time to compose himself when you pulled free of him, turned and leaned into his chest, hand reached behind to grab his hair and the other tracing down your chest.

Mammon was practically trembling, words forming and sputtering out on his tongue as his brain short circuited.

You turned to face him again and with a smirk, put both arms around his neck and hopped up, trusting Mammon again to catch you.

“What’s wrong? ‘All you gotta do is pose.’” you whispered chidingly, pressing your cheek to his ear. 

“Y-you… The Great Mammon knows how to pose!”

You laughed, smiling brightly as he tossed you down onto the bed. Mammon was much more bold in his “model” mindset, all hesitation gone as he took the lead from your own approach and being rather aggressive. The camera crew, the lights… it all faded out until you forgot about the flashes and the encouraging remarks from behind the brightness.

It was easy to play the role of the breathless damsel, because you were feeling quite breathless. You whimpered when Mammon pulled your leg up around his waist and rolled his hips down, not touching, but the intent behind the motion clear.

Sex sells, even in Hell.

One camera demon came up for a close up of your face, flushed and eyes hazy. Mammon took the opportunity to gently place his hand around your neck for the shot and you arched your head back to accent the pose further.

“...sheesh.” you heard Mammon say beneath his breath, “You don’t gotta make faces that good.”

“Faces like what?” you said, turning to meet his eyes. You were pretty sure blush and highlighter were not a viable excuse for the color and sheen on his skin.

“Like that!” he grumbled, turning your head firmly, but gently as he leaned down and bit your earlobe for the camera.

The sound you made had nothing to do with modeling and in retaliation you pinched him high on his thigh.

“Ow!” he hissed and you took the chance to knock him to the side and claim a spot on top of him. All protests died in his throat as you brought your hands up through your hair, messing it further before sliding your hands down your face, your neck and then over the soft curve of your breasts, tugging the hem of the bralette up slightly to expose your ribs for a tease before pulling it back down with a wink to the cameras.

“Hey!” Mammon said, giving your thigh a pinch of his own to draw your attention back to him, “Don’t play it up to them!”

“Why? You wanna get paid big right?”

“Y-yeah, but… don’t want all those demons thinking it’s for them…”

“What’s for them?”

“You know what!”

You hummed, taking his wrist and pressing his hand flat against your hip, drawing his touch down until his palm snagged on your bloomers and began pulling it down, exposing the faint crease of your thigh.

“Hold that!” a voice said, coming around to take another close up photo, Mammon looking perfectly debauched while you appeared in complete control. You’d love a copy of it just to admire his expression more.

“We got our cover shot! That’s a wrap, people.” the female demon said, clapping her hands together. It was all such a whirlwind, the photos and then getting shooed off the set as they all started getting ready for the next shoot.

“Nice girl. Amateur, clearly, but....” the female demon produced a card, handing it to you, “Call me if you want to get more experience dear. Human skin is a commodity here and I think yours will sell magazines just fine.”

Before you could decide whether to be flattered or insulted, someone was tossing your silk robe over you and pulling you away. 

“Eh? Mammon? Wha— slow down!”

Mammon said nothing, jaw tight and his eyes fixed forward as he pulled you off the set and into your dressing room, taking the time to shut and lock the door. You laughed, pulling the robe on correctly and tying it shut.

“Hey, this was your idea, remember? You could say thank you.” you said, but Mammon was continuing the silent treatment, finding your clothes and tossing them to you.

“Just get out of that get up,” Mammon finally said, “It’s like you wanna drive me insane!”

“Well...maybe I do.” you cooed, tugging the robe open just slightly to give a bare glimpse of your cleavage.

Mammon flushed a whole new shade of scarlet.

“I think it’s fair! You knew it was a pervy underwear shoot and you didn’t tell me!”

“I thought you’d say no!”

“I mighta said yes, you didn’t know! So next time you better tell me first! Or better yet, next time you wanna see me in some cute lingerie, just ask.”

Mammon huffed, unable to maintain eye contact with you anymore, as if not looking at you meant you couldn’t see how much your words were affecting him.

 “Yeah well, I’m almost glad you were here... you did an okay job. Not amazing! Not like me! But… I had kinda hoped uh… you’d be the one flustered.”

You raised an eyebrow, “You’d need to take off a lot more to get me flustered.”

“Eh?! I… I could still do that! Don’t tempt me, human.”

“Aren’t demons supposed to be the ones who do the tempting?” You said, taking a step forward and letting your robe slide off your shoulders.

“I’m not Asmodeus…” Mammon said with a scoff, shrinking back at each step of yours until he had nowhere left to go. You reached up, playing with one of the buttons on his half opened shirt.

“No, you definitely are not.” you said, slipping a hand passed the fabric to touch his skin. He took in a breath, chest raising into your palm. His skin was so warm it radiated outward, coaxing you closer, “I wouldn’t...have worn anything like this for Asmodeus.”

“I’m startin’ to think…” Mammon started, hands coming up to brush over the skin of your shoulders, pushing the robe off in one fluid moment. He grinned wolfishly, “...you should come to all my shoots.”

[pietropatrol]

Marvel High (Part 4)

Read Part 3

A/N: Happy Fic Fri--Saturday! Had this most of the way written up yesterday, but my daughter has not been going down at her bedtime very well so I didn’t get it done before bed! But here I am now, posting as my husband is now trying to get her to go back to sleep. Babies, I tell yah.

Welcome to Marvel High, where being the new kid wasn’t the worst. Your homeroom couldn’t be weirder though; your teacher wears an eye patch and is always shouting for some reason, and a group of dysfunctional teens calling themselves the “Avengers.” Probably the weirdest thing is their insistence that you join.

Pairing: Pietro x Reader Warnings: language, sexual innuendos, teenage substance abuse Words: 1,300ish

The dynamic of the group was odd to witness. They all had drastically different personalities, something you had already gleaned from the bickering during the school day, but under the influence of alcohol, it became even more obvious. It was as if the group was comprised of smaller groups. 

The Maximoff twins were obvious. Natasha and Clint were a pair, that you were sure of. The way they shadowed each other and communicated in their body language was hard to ignore. Either they had been friends for a long time or something was going on between them. Though you felt it would have been inappropriate to ask. Tony and Bruce seemed close, from what you had overheard from their in-depth science conversation at lunch earlier. You could always find Steve, Bucky, and Sam together, but Bucky seemed annoyed whenever he was left with just Sam.

Thor was an outlier and seemed to bounce around all of them seamlessly. His cockiness rivaled Tony’s. Thor appeared to be about six beers deep and enthusiastically telling a story about how he wrestled some unnamed beast in is home country.

“Where is Thor from again?” You turned to Pietro who was watching the group from a distance with you. Though you had felt him watching you when you weren’t looking.

“Some Scandinavian country… we think.” Pietro shrugged. “You sure you don’t want another drink? Nat makes a mean cocktail.”

“I’m sure she does, but I should probably keep my wits about me and not smell like I’ve been drinking. My dad is like a bloodhound with that stuff. One beer was already a risk.”

“So, what is up with your dad anyway? He seems…” Pietro struggled to find the right word.

“Hella protective?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes, hell-ah protective, as you so put it.” Pietro inclined his head in your direction, closing the small gap between your bodies.

“He means well. I haven’t made the best choices in my life. And trouble seems to follow me wherever we go. It’s only a matter of time before it finds me here.” You were being intentionally vague. It was a can of worms that someone you just met shouldn’t have sprung on them.

Pietro furrowed his eyebrows but didn’t push. “So, you set fire to your previous school?” He guided you back to the group and you sat next to Wanda on a loveseat, Pietro perched on the arm.

“Fire? Is Y/N talking about setting her school on fire?” Tony had been making his way to the bar when he heard the word fire. Another lit cigarette dangling from his lips.

“Yes, but don’t even think about sitting next to us with that lit.” Steve waved his hand to the offending object.

“It’s my house,” Tony guffawed.

“Rule eleven, specifically made for you, is not smoking within the group circle, because not all of us are trying to get lung cancer before twenty-five.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“I think it’s unfair that we have rules specifically aimed at me. But fine.” Tony dropped his cigarette into his glass and joined the group.

“Rules?” You echoed.

“Top secret,” Tony winked, “Back to the fire, what did you do?”

“It wasn’t anything crazy. I was in wood shop and got bored, wondered if I could burn in a design on a plank with my lighter, and it was highly flammable, apparently. It didn’t take long for the rest of the shop to start on fire, the air was basically half saw-dust.” You shrugged, honestly, it wasn’t the stupidest thing you’d done. It was also an accident for once.

“It only went as far as the home-ec classroom. No big deal, aside from being expelled." 

"Lame!" Tony yawned. "Let's play truth or dare!" 

Everyone groaned and threw empty solo cups at him. 

"Why do you always insist on playing?" Nat looked to him, incredulous. "We've been friends long enough that it isn't fun anymore. You just want us to do stupid shit." 

"What's wrong with stupid shit?" Tony insisted. "Besides we have a newbie now!"

  You looked at your phone and saw it was almost ten o'clock. Had it really been two hours already? "Sorry, but I have to head out. Curfew." 

"And here I was thinking you were a trouble maker," Tony smirked. 

"Oh, I am. But I don't want to be grounded for eternity. Great party though, Tony. Thanks for the invite." You made to leave with Pietro and Wanda on following behind you when a young boy, probably about 14, came running in, out of breath. 

"Alright, who invited the freshman?" Steve rubbed his temples. "We agreed, no freshman." 

"Parker isn't going to cause any trouble, the kid's a saint," Tony argued. "What's going on?" 

"Some--oh hi," the freshman saw you. "I'm Peter Parker. You must be new."

"I'm Y/N. You okay, Peter?"  

He was still trying to catch his breath. "Oh yeah! There's a bunch of Hydra High douche-bros who snuck in. They're by the pool." 

"Fuuuucccckkkkk." Bucky cursed. "They're definitely here to start some shit." "Alright, is everybody sober enough to deal with them?" Steve looked pointedly to Tony who was rolling up his sleeves, already looking ready for a fight. 

"We should probably go, you don't need me and Wanda, right?" Pietro looked to Steve. 

"Umm... if you're parked in the driveway, you won't be able to get out. They blocked it with their own cars." 

"Looks like you're going to be late. Sorry." Pietro frowned at you. A heavy sigh escaped your lips. 

"Nah, it's not your fault. How quickly do you think we can scare off these guys?" Tony held up his hand, gaining everyone's attention. "I might have a solution. Let me go down to my basement, and I will meet you out there." 

The group made their way down to the pool. Your other classmates had crowded around, keeping a distance from Hydra.

  Hydra was raiding the outdoor bar and the scariest student among them was lounging on a wicker chair, sipping lazily on a bottle of vodka. A small voice in your head said he was the leader. Maybe it was because everyone else was at work nabbing whatever they could and he was already enjoying their spoils. You just knew. 

"Avengers!" he called out, happily. "Great party!" 

"Avengers?" You whispered to Pietro. 

"I'll explain later." 

The leader's eyes narrowed in on you. "New recruit?" 

The hair stood up on the back of your neck as he stood up and stepped closer to you. He looked you up and down, perplexed. "Do I know you?"

"Doubt it." Pietro pulled you behind him, breaking his line of sight. 

"Maximoff onto a new toy already?" 

"What are you doing here, Keller? I thought we told you not to come near this place again?" Steve pulled the attention to him. "The message was pretty clear when Thor cracked open your forehead." 

"We heard about the dope ass party, Rogers. Thought some of your classmates would want to have a little more fun--" 

"We don't want your shitty drugs." Peter piped up. "Like weed is cool and stuff, but--" 

"Your shit is garbage." Tony sauntered through the group, a contraption strapped to his arms. "And calling it 'Candy Andy' is kinda lame." 

A light emitted from Tony's palm and beam jutted out and shatter the bottle of vodka in Keller's hand. Tony hissed from the hot metal burning into his palm but stood his ground. 

Keller remained calm and held up his hands, though you could see a slight look of terror in his eyes. "Alright, we'll see you around another time then. Good to see you again, Y/N." He winked at you and they took off. 

You froze, you didn't know him, how did he know you?

****

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