#i am an empty s he ll

[metranart]

“I'll be sweet...” Hawk's spelled, as a soft but covetous kiss fell on your right cheek, “gentle,” another at the side of your eye, “trustworthy,” now your forehead, “a good provider,” your left cheek was next, “you´ll be my number one priority..... just be MINE-”

ft. Hawks centered, Hawks x reader, Slight! Bakugo x reader, Slight! Dabi x reader (in future chaps)

Hawks x UA Student! Reader (Part 10)

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Warning tag: obsessed! Hawks, possessive! Hawks, naive! student reader, violation of trust, dubious consent, mating cycles, rut response, obsessive behavior, uncontrollable thirst for reader, manipulation, forced, thigh riding, hormonal minds out of control, sexual content, first time, cock riding, teenage fuck, Dabi's toxically interested in you, Bakugo bestie yet secretly inlove wit you, love confessions, cock-drunk, Hawks trying to be good but failing miserably, gaslighting, HEAVY plot, lots of smut.

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Your little brother burst inside the room, drawing in hand and his eyes widened in frenzied amazement and wonder upon finding his favorite hero in your room. You had to kick Hawks in the calf to get away from him, the only thing you didn't know is if you did it in time.

“HAWKS!” Toji screamed excitedly, “One-chan, it’s Hawks!” Toji was about to explode with excitement, and you felt your stomach churn.

“Toji, how many times have I told you not to enter any room like that?” You reprimanded, but he wasn’t listening, jumping up and down on his little feet. “I´m your biggest fan, Hawks!” he voiced way too loud, savagely clinging from Hawks hands to entice him to hold him up in his arms.

“Hello Toji, it’s such an honor to meet my biggest fan.” Hawks said, smiling widely and jovial to the euphoric kid, “—but you should really listen to the advice of your one-chan.” He said, and the boy nodded excitedly, Keigo side-glanced towards you and you just mouthed 'kiss ass' to what he merely grinned apologetically. 

Keigo crouched to be at Toji´s eye level and the boy rushed to touch the fluffy collar on his jacket.  

"(Y/N) told me that she was my number one fan," Hawks continued making small talk, anything to stay a little longer near you. Toji denied his head, vigorously. "It's not true, she just thinks you're the cutest and she wants to touch your feathers—" 

"Toji, shut up!" 

Hawks laughed, genuinely. "Is that so?" 

"Yep, but I AM your biggest fan, Hawks." The little one, assured very confident. His intrusive hands grabbing wherever it could, curiosity about the hero driving him closer and closer and closer....

“—Toji!” you kneeled at his side, catching his little hands in yours, “Hawks needs to go on patrol, say goodbye to him and-” 

“NO!” The boy yelped, releasing from your grasp and rushing to hug the Hero. “He hasn't even had dinner-... you can't fight criminals with an empty tummy.” Toji stressed, clinging from Hawks. “Tell her, Hawks.” 

His innocent eyes searched for support from the winged hero, who smiled kindly and ruffled his hair. “I’d love to stay for dinner-…. If your mommy doesn’t mind.” Hawks said, dodging your hot glare like a pro. He knew that if was up to you, he’ll be far away by now but maybe plead Toji’s request would buy him some time. He could easily detect you had a soft spot for the small child.

“Peanut—…” You tried to sweep him into your arms, but the boy was too infatuated with the Pro hero to let you, instead he raised his arms towards Hawks who lifted and cradled him in his to then straightened up. "No, mommy won't mind, she made a lot of food to spoil (y/n) ....so, will you stay?" The boy pleaded.

This time Hawks turned to look at you, waiting for your verdict, he knew that he had you against the wall once again, this time it hadn't been exclusively his fault... even so, he had a feeling that it wasn't how you would see it. So, he waited, gulping a pang of guilt under his breath at seeing how you had to suppress the tears that welled up in your eyes and say in a clenched jaw, that looked almost painful. 

"S-Sure, peanut-…" you swallowed down a sob, “but first go tell mom."

The boy cheered hugging Hawks one last time to then wiggle out of his hold and run downstairs, screaming. "Mommy, Hawks is staying for dinner!"

Even from the second floor, you could hear your mother’s perplexity at the strange news but were swiftly distracted when felt Keigo’s knuckles cleaning a rogue tear from your cheek. 

"Don’t touch me," you unpleasantly mumbled batting his hand away but this time he didn’t let you; he was done with the tantrums for the day. 

“Please, don’t do that.” He soberly requested, keep on running his knuckles through your cheek, gently, so gently. “Mates shouldn't be rude to each other~”

“I'm NOT your mate—” your fit was cut midsentence by his teeth digging at the tender skin in the inside of your neck. 

You squeaked more in surprise than in pain, he had dug his head, so his teeth set on your skin threateningly, something edging primitive to force you to stay put and listen to him.

“Don't you ever say such an untrue statement in front of me-” Hawks lowly vocalized, slowly letting go, “Ever-” predatorily bent closer until his body dwarfed yours. Crimson huge wings outstretched to make him look even bigger. “-Again.”

Your breath trembled out of your lips. You couldn’t find your voice. So, the infatuated Hero kept going. 

"I can be- I WILL be... the most generous and patient partner, baby bird.” Disregarding the smell of fear that intoxicated the hallway, raised his head to be at eye level with you. “I'll be sweet...” a soft but covetous kiss fell on your right cheek, “gentle,” another at the side of your eye, “trustworthy,” now your forehead, “a good provider,” your left cheek was next, “you´ll be my number one priority,” his three hundred and sixty degree kiss tour stopped when you saw his eyes fixed on your lips, “and a thousand times worthier than any man that could ever think that you can be his-" smoothly declared, a brush away from your lips.  

Those lovely cherry lips were getting on his nerves and his imagination played with the odds, feeling a delicious twinge run down his crotch at the possibilities. Oh! Maybe he could indulge just a taste before dinner.... you won't mind, right? .... Keigo leant invasively close, cocking his head watched your lips like the Hawk he was, ready for the kill, your lips were his claim…. He felt SO tempted, just a breath apart from glory— 

“I-…...I need time....” The words left your mouth without your permission, plunging him out of his daydream. You just needed space, to be away from him… All of these was too sudden, too intense, too overwhelming.... Keigo was all of that potentiated to a thousand, so you said what you thought would satisfy him, and you were right, he looked vastly thrilled.  

Perhaps, this could buy you enough time to think of something.... or had you doom yourself?......whatever it was, it was too late to take it back.

Hawks felt unprepared for that twist. You needed time...So, you were actually going to think about it, right? That's what that meant... Holy shit! Not everything was lost.

Not a gasp, not a sound escaped your mouths for a long minute until his lips quirked up and pleased eyebrows rose with an unexpected possessive vibe recently seeded inside him by you. If before hadn’t completely decided your fate, this had sealed it.

The Pro Hero broadly smiled, feathers vibrating with contained excitement to then regain a docile and soft state again. “It´s all I ask for.”

Your gaze stood rooted to the floor, clenching and unclenching your fists, jaw tight and tense. Her jaw is going to hurt, Hawks meditated worried.

"We should go down—" He mumbled, and you nodded mutedly, genuinely troubled by your own decisions and even more troubled by Hawks deranged possessiveness, which you honestly thought belonged only to Keigo while in rut, at least he wasn’t humping you—God! Everything was so confusing. 

Your frame spoke miles of how conflicted you felt. Thankfully, you didn’t have to push him off you, he was already away, tidying his feathers to look presentable, taming some wild locks of golden hair behind his ears, subtly surveying you from the corner of his eye. You looked conflicted, and he thought about giving you some space but that thought did not sow fruit.

"How long do you think you’ll need?" The blond chirped, chastising himself the minute the question slipped out more rushed that he intended.

You didn’t answer, just turned around and started to walk away. He followed. 

"Don’t look so abashed, kiddo" he noted, trying to cheer you up, slowly following you downstairs. “We don't want to worry your family.” 

There was no bite in his words, he was being one hundred percent goodhearted about his worries, even aimed to pat your shoulder reassuringly when you dodged him with a swift drift, glancing back through your shoulder to spat aggressively. 

“DON´T.”

Hawks sighed, pulling his hand away and lifting it in mock surrender. “‘Just trying to play my part, baby bird.”

"You are unbelievable cynic for a Pro Hero." You scoffed. "—What you did was a crime, you know?" poisonous spatted, spinning around a bit to face him, aiming a moral punch beneath the belt. You wanted to see his smugness melt down. 

"I know.” He admitted, flatly. “I can smell it, remember?" he smoothly replied, tapping his nose lightly making your eyebrows nit. “You came hard and unrelentingly while I did it… part of me still slides down your thighs, baby bird.”

Your breath stirred and a severe blush spread till your neck, Hawks almost tripping you at your sudden stop. Seeing you paralyzed in the middle of the stairs, offered. 

“If you want, after dinner we can go to the police so they can arrest me.” He said without giving it much importance, as if he was talking about the weather.

You remained silent and stunned, and he wiggled his eyebrows prompting you to continue walking. Closing your gaping mouth with a finger under your chin. 

“Right now, only happy thoughts, baby bird.” He advised, mimicking a wide grin for you to copy.

“Sure-e,” you managed to find your voice, “—I'll think of you behind bars.” 

He chuckled, shaking his head to then sassily smirk. “So nice, I’ll be thinking of YOU as well.”

Your heart fluttered way too wildly, you hated when he made you feel other thing than disgusted by him, you didn’t want butterflies in your belly, not for this...this monster. So, your body reacted aggressively, a fist whipped at his face aiming to wipe that smirk away, but Hawks was a Pro, trained and sharp. He caught your fist in the blink of an eye, as if nothing. 

“Oh! Sorry, baby bird.” He murmured sheepishly, as if he had awfully wronged you by not received your punch in the face. “These damn reflexes, I swear won't happen again-” He grinned, “Go on, throw me your best shot.”

He let go of your fist tapping a finger at his cheek, playfully. You felt like kicking him in the balls, the patronizing mother fucker! He was so fucking lucky your mom´s call had interrupted. 

“Mr. Hawks, it's such an honor to have you as our guest.” You sweet mom politely bowed, and Hawks nimbly skipped the rest of the stairs to gently land in front of your mother, making a polite bow before reply.

“Oh, no, thank you for inviting me— and please just call me Hawks, let's keep it casual.” The hero jovially insisted. 

“Ahh… yes… o-of course, Mr.—… Hawks.” God! Was your mom blushing?! He was truly a magnetic force of a man, no doubt, he knew how to sell himself. The handsome bastard! He´ll be SO popular in jail. 

“…Sweetie, why didn't you tell me earlier?” Your mom asked, wrapping you in her warm arms. "You hadn't visited us for months, we missed you." Your eyes filled with hot tears, you’d miss them as well, more now that you really needed someone to talk to. 

You got a lump in your throat, and swiftly Hawks cleared his to help you out.

“Oh, that’s my fault. (Y/N)- she’s doing an internship at my agency, and I asked her if I could drop her some important papers-”

Your mother looked at him and gently unwrapping you from the hug, smiled at Hawks. “Oh, I understand. Hero’s job is 24/7—…we are so glad you could take time out to stay for dinner…” Toji ran up to Hawks, arms in the air demanding to be carried and the Pro Hero immediately conceded.

“Toji!” Your mother chided at him, sweetly and Hawks shook his head before assuring that there was no problem. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Hawks—” 

“Just Hawks, please.” The hero insisted with a winning smile, turning your mother into a leaving tomato. “Sure-e, please take a sit wherever you like, dinner is ready.” 

“Thanks! it smells delicious.” Hawks blurted out, bouncing Toji in his arms. 

It all felt so surreal, you merely observed the whole scene play from your spot. Less than five hours ago this same man had you down on the filthy, hard concrete of an alley way, savagely fucking the virginity out of your young body while demanding you to call him Keigo, and now he was the star guest, all politeness and smiles. Like if nothing. You felt like throwing up, you felt sick, and it must have shown on your face.

“—(Y/N), you look pale, is everything alright?” Your dad called. 

You hadn’t seen him sitting in the living room working on his laptop, and before you could answer, Hawks was already on you, placing his palm on your forehead.  

“Breathe,” he whispered softly, “happy thoughts, love—” he continued for your ears only, carrying Toji in one arm, the boy distractedly playing with the feathers of his wings. The cool skin of his palm cooling you while he traveled his knuckles down your cheek. 

You stepped away quickly before anyone could see, and Hawks frowned, lightly. 

“I’m fine, daddy, I just felt dizzy for a moment-” 

“I hope you’re not trying too hard at school,” your mother said, worriedly.

“Hero work can be exhausting, let's hope working under hero number two isn't too much for you." Your father teased, and your knees felt weak at his choice words. Then he respectfully introduced himself to the Hero. 

“Please take good care of our daughter, Mr. Hawks.” Your father politely requested, and Hawks wildly grinned. Excited. 

“I will! She is precious to me—” Hawks couldn’t contain himself, but quickly added “t-the best trainee I’d had under my command.” Your father smiled, not suspecting anything, “I’m already planning on keeping her to myself-” Hawks was swiftly playing at the double meaning word game, “my agency could really use someone like her.” His golden stare fell on you, gauging your reactions to see how far he could go before you snapped at him.  

He knew your cold shoulder was coming for the next few days and it would be torture for him, so maybe having your family hostage at dinner could help him force a little sweetness out of you before you turned fierce on him again.

“She can heal you with hugs and kisses like recover girl!” Toji excitedly shared, playing with a crimson feather on his small hands. 

Everyone laughed except for you. You were at the verge of exploding of embarrassment, anger and frustration. You could still feel Hawks cum slip down your thighs while he played family with your parents.

This guy, this Hero which you used to idolize was really a fuckin psycho! Or could someone actually be that wickedly cynical, like God level!... Either way, you could only suck it up, your family was the priority and the last thing you wanted was to give them a hard time or worse…. 

“—I’m starving, what did you make, m-mom?” 

Your attempt to change the subject worked and heading towards the table, Keigo's free hand landed and freely sprawled on your lower back, taking it as far as to slide under your shirt to feel the warmth of your skin, your gazes locked when you glare at him, and he uncaringly mouthed 'happy thoughts'.  

Hawks took the seat next to you, your parents in the front with Toji at the head, since he refused to move away from the winged Hero.

Once seated you expected this to stop but it only got worse.

“I really like your daughter, she’s so much useful for society being under my wing, I know exactly how to potentiate her quirk—…” Hawks shared, and you had to bite down a snort at his boldness. 

“Then you should keep her, Mr. Hawks. We will feel so much better knowing that you are the one taking care of her.” You blushed at your father’s words. He was being one hundred percent honest and innocent, but you knew Keigo wasn’t. 

“I’m planning on it, after she graduates, I’m offering her a permanent residence under my watchful eye.” He explained and both your parents gasped in awe. On the other hand, you felt like throwing up. Was he really planning on to keep you for himself?! Was he joking? —

“That would be wonderful, wouldn't it, (y/n)?” Your mom asked excitedly, and you gulped down a big mouthful of rice, so you didn't have to answer, just feigning happiness.

Hawks grinned, gauging your effort to ignore him. After this, your parents felt so comfortable around him that they turned very chatty, telling him about various incidents they had seen on television, and of course, the hero gave them his undivided attention. Feigning interest and answering their every question, slowly wrapping them around his little finger. 

Meanwhile, you reduced to eat…. and that's when you felt it.

Something brushed your knee, you stood still and waited, but before you could feel relieved at what you assumed was your imagination, it happened again. This time you glanced discreetly at Hawks to see if he revealed anything, but his attention was irrevocably on your parents, keeping a fluent conversation as if nothing.

You felt vile creeping up your throat when your lack of reaction drove him to become bolder. Something had indeed touched your knee and now was scratching the soft skin over your kneecap rhythmically, long fingers opening and closing in a jellyfish motion, designed that way to send chills up your body. 

Unable to suppress fast enough the shivers that raved your skin, goosebumps bloomed under his palm, and you could swear you glimpsed him, smirk. 

Huffing quietly, you yanked your knee away which turned out worse, since you only helped his hand take permanent residence up your thigh where unashamedly stole a solid squeeze. The fat on your thigh spilled among his strong fingers making you choke on your food.

The blond had to stifle a chuckle as he gently patted your back.

“Small bites, (y/n)—… Keeping your daughter safe is a full-time job.” Hawks openly joked, and your parents loved every second of it. 

You just wanted to punch him, pluck him and kick him out of your house, even so, you couldn’t… and when you thought you were safe from his intrusive caresses. His palm abandoned your back to hide under the table. 

You gulped, growing anxious. 

“—Have you told your parents about this evening’s Nomu attack?” Hawks glanced at you asking, his expression not betraying anything. 

“Oh my God, Sweetie!”

“Mom, it's okay-” You reassured, seeing both your parents pale, “Nothing too bad happened… Endeavor arrived just in time to save me—”

“—I flew her out of that scorching mess right on time.” Hawks added, sending you an honest smile. Like if he found out that specific memory fond. Making you wonder what kind of scenario was running through his mind in that exact moment. Those tender eyes and dreamy smile could give anyone diabetes. 

“Thank you so much, Mr. Hawks.” 

Your parents started, and your gaze locked with Keigo’s just a moment, more than enough to distract you under those gloriously golden orbs that look like had light of their own. You focused on those rich pools of honey, missing the way his crimson feathers subtly wrapped around your ankles and knees, strapping you to your chair in less than a glimpse. 

Something wickedly playful shone behind that same stare, and you realized too late your mistake. 

“No problem, and please, just call me Hawks.” He requested again, so politely, so charming, so deceitful. 

COMING SOON PART 11....

⭕️ In my PATREON you will find NSFW art of this story and more spicy MHA NSFW art and exclusive smut fanfiction. ;)

@wtvbabes @dreamlessnight @naomi1247e @alicecil87 @geniejunn @justanerd1

[firsttimewriter92]

Schilling for your thoughts Part 1

König x f!reader

Summary: You meet a peculiar man at your favourite bookstore and after talking to him a little bit, you wonder if you´ll ever see him again

Part 2 here Part 3 here

Word count: 2.538

Warnings: bit awkward, lots of fluff, German speaking, light cursing, pining König, military talk

Authors note: Yes, I am one of those who believe that König is a ginger, freckled, mighty sweetheart. (I was trying to find this amazing fanart I saw of him that basically started this fic, but I can´t find it again!! I´m sad; It´s so good) Only slightly awkward but he knows how to let someone know he´s interessted. He´ll only unleash the beast on the battlefield, that´s it. I will die on this hill!! Social anxiety, yes. But he´s not completely incapable of interacting with a person<3

Happily you skipped through the door of your favourite little bookstore. Bell chiming over your head, you saw the owners head appear from underneath the counter, instantly smiling at you.

“I just put them on the shelve,” she winked at you. “Shelve 12, row 10.” Rushing by her you squealed a thank you in her direction and hurried into the back of the store. You had been waiting for this book for ages. When you found out your favourite author was releasing a new book after almost 6 years of abstinence, you immediately let Lucy the owner know. This morning she called you excitedly, telling you the book finally arrived.

You made your way over to the back of the store. It was packed with ceiling high shelves, little tables and armchairs scattered across the room, most of them in front of the three large windows. You loved spending your time in this controlled area of chaotic furniture choices, colours and smells of coffee, old and new books and slightly dusty air.

Usually you favoured this establishment not just because of the atmosphere and Lucy´s motherly warm nature but also because most of the time, it was pleasantly empty and quiet. Quiet it was this time as well but you couldn´t help but notice the man sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the windows. A huge volume in his hands, his face almost buried in it. Something about the way he was sitting seemed odd to you. Not being able to put your finger on what it was exactly you shrugged mentally and made a beeline towards shelve 12.

Grumbling a little you remembered the row number Lucy gave you. 10. Great, you thought. You didn´t have to hide them that well so I could be the first one to get a copy, Lucy. Craning your neck you looked for the bright red and silver book back you knew your newest little treasure would have. There! You grinned and hopped a little as you whipped your head around the room, looking for the step ladder you knew Lucy kept here somewhere. Not being able to find it immediately your impatience took over. With a little grunt you began pushing one of the armchairs towards the shelve. “Damn it, Lucy. Why do you have such an obsession with antient furniture?” You cursed quietly under your breath. “So heavy!”

“You need help with that, Miss?” A quiet voice asked behind you. You whipped around and saw that the man you noticed before had lowered the picture book and was looking at you curiously and maybe a little amused. You weren´t that short but it was undeniable that you wouldn’t be able to reach your object of desire unless you managed to move the heavy chair. Grinning a bit flustered you stopped pushing the piece of furniture and sheepishly you answered. “If you wouldn´t mind. This chair is really heavy. I don´t know where Lucy put the ladder and without it, these books up there are out of reach.”

The man’s eyes twinkled for a second as his gaze fluttered upwards towards the last row. “Not necessarily” he said with a friendly, tight lipped smile. The next moment you found out why you thought his sitting looked so odd in the plush chair. He bent his knees to get up and they definitely rose above the angle of his hips. You tried not to stare, really, you did, as the man rose, rose and rose higher and higher until a massive body unfolded from the chair, standing, stretching for a second and then slumping in on itself almost comically. His shoulders hunched and head slightly bent downwards he made his way over to you, observing your reaction with a careful glance. You understood why immediately. 6´10. That was your best guess. With a warm feeling in your belly you noticed that he was trying to make himself smaller.

Don’t comment on his height, don’t comment on his height, you thought and tried to school your features. He´s probably heard it all!  He seemed to appreciate your silence and little smile.

As he stood next to you, you noticed that your head didn´t even reach shoulder. He was looking at the books at the highest point and you got the chance to observe him a little closer. His hair was a fascinating colour. A rich auburn glow leaning heavily towards red. He had tied it into a low bun at the base of his neck. Little whisps of it escaping and curling against his temple and forehead. Fascinated you saw that his eyebrows and even his long lashes were the same shade. They framed slightly droopy eyes the colour of…Blue? Green? You couldn’t really tell from your angle. His nose was long and slightly curved, accentuating a full upper lip and a strong, stubbled jaw. He had an almost regal look to him. That was if he didn’t stand there slouching.

You hadn’t realized while appreciating his features that he had slightly turned his face towards you. Smiling shily he quirked an eyebrow, seemingly waiting for one of the comments he was definitely used to. When he realized you weren´t going to comment his smile stretched into a boyish grin you just had to reciprocate. Doing that you quickly noticed two more things about him. His canines stood out sharper than you had ever seen on a person, giving him a bit of a wolfish look that for some reason made you heart stutter in your chest. The other thing was a faint white scar reaching from his plump upper lip up to his nostril. You recognised the scar of an early on fixed cleft lip and knew that they tended to pull the lip slightly upward on one side. In his case though, especially when he grinned like that it wasn’t that noticeable. It gave him character.

He cleared his throat a bit awkwardly and snapped you out of your little stupor. Catching his eyes you saw how an adorable dust of pink covered his cheeks and the tips of his ears, making the scattering of freckles around his nose even more enticing. Stop. Staring. At. Him.

He nodded his head towards the books and reached out one of his surprisingly bulgy arms. A long finger tapped the back of a black and grey one. Looking down at you questioningly and not saying a word he quirked an eyebrow. Biting your tongue and smiling mischievously you shook your head. He nodded and studied the books again, his finger gliding over the spines of them. Halting again at a brown, faux leather bound massive copy, he again gave you a quick questioning look. This time however with a playful smirk pulling on the corner of his mouth. Liking his little game more and more you crossed your hands behind your back and began to lean back and forth on your heels, again shaking your head. He hummed and huffed in mock annoyance making you honest to god, giggle. You weren’t the giggling type! What the hell was going on?!

You had already realised that he wasn’t a man of many words so you played along for another two attempts of his until he finally tapped on the spine of your desired book (he damn well knew which one you wanted from the start). You nodded excitedly and he chuckled deep in his throat awakening goosebumps all over your arms as a result. He pulled the book out and slowly handed it to you. You took it in your hands carefully and full of awe, eyes sparkling as you brushed your fingers over the name of your favourite story teller. “Thank you very much” you breathed and gave him a brilliant smile. Again the tips of his ears went bright red but his voice was strong when he said “No worries. Happy to help you.” Only now you noticed the slight accent. Interesting, you thought.

Pressing the book happily to your chest you looked up into his face. “I see you like medieval blacksmithing” you said and pointed to the huge book that he left on one of the tables. He stood a little more erect and nodded his head quickly. “Yes” he said excitedly as you both walked over to the pair of soft chairs. “It´s so fascinating. Hardly believable what they accomplished without modern technology. Beautiful craftsmanship too. Look here”, he opened the book and pointed at the depiction of a beautiful Viking sword. His enthusiasm warmed your body and something in your chest began to pull yourself towards him. Without realising it, you both had sat down next to each other, the huge volume in the middle. Turning page after page, he showed you many more fascinating facts and pictures, all the while talking animatedly.

It seemed like you had to revoke your statement from before. He was a talker. Once he was comfortable.

Time seemed to stand still. From time to time you glanced at him as he spoke softly about different types of iron compositions. Although his height was intimidating, he was far from that. At least here with you. You guessed he was in his late twenties or maybe early thirties. When he showed you a particular picture he moved the book closer, leaning over the arm of the chair closer to you.

He smelled divine. Musky, yet sweet. Earthy and somehow crisp. A serene scene developed behind your eyes. An early spring morning, wet with dew clinging to sweet smelling crocuses. Only the heavy fog wafting over the ground an indication that winter was still holding on. And while you looked at his profile your skin erupted in pleasant chills as you imagined the first clear rays of sunshine breaking through said fog, illuminating the delicate process of nature’s awakening.

It was like his presence and voice opened the floodgates of your own imagination. You felt yourself becoming helplessly attracted to him. The pull in your chest becoming stronger by the minute.

Suddenly you weren’t looking at his profile anymore. He had turned his head, looking into your eyes. Silence spread between you. A comfortable one. Enamoured you tried to figure out the colour of his eyes. Blue, you noticed. With a hint of green. Seafoam. Or maybe not? Jade green with a dusting of light blue. Maybe that was it. You found it impossible to look away. And so did he. His gaze was on you. Your eyes, your nose, your mouth, your eyes again. They looked curious and gentle.

None of you realised how much you had leaned into each other. With your noses almost touching, a blaring alarm suddenly made both of you jump back into your seats, hearts hammering wildly. Almost panicked he fished through the pockets of his jeans until he pulled out his phone.

His eyes went comically wide and in a flurry of powerful limbs he clambered upright. “Oh verdammt, verdammt” (damn)he cursed as he pulled a worn leather jacket over his broad shoulders. Your heart fluttering when you recognized the words. “I´m so sorry. I´m terribly late. I have to go.” You felt your stomach drop in a weird way. Walking towards the front door he gave you an almost pained look full of hesitation. You stood there almost as helpless, not wanting him to leave.

“Wie ist dein Name?” (What´s your name?) you asked a little hesitant. His jaw went slack and he gave you a look of surprise and pure adoration before showing you his lovable canines again in a grin and answered. “Du kannst König zu mir sagen, Maus.” (You can call me König, mouse)

You gave him another beautiful smile, touched your chest and gave him your own name. He rolled it around on his tongue and you were sure he could see the tremor in your hands. Your face felt like it was on fire, your knees weak. With a lift of his hand and a small wave he opened the door to the store and turned around one last time. “Ich hoffe wir sehen uns wieder, ___ -Maus.” (I hope we´ll see each other again, ___- mouse)

True to the little nickname he gave you, you squeaked beyond flustered but nodded your head enthusiastically. His eyes blitzed happily and then he turned and began jogging down the street in a hurry.

Your mind an absolute mess and head swirling you turned towards the counter and swallowed.

One elbow parched onto the wood, her head leaned into her hand, Lucy tapped the acrylic nails of her other hand slowly on the counter giving you the most shit eating grin you had ever seen on her.

“Don´t” you said with a sigh. She blew a disbelieving raspberry and started laughing. “Are you kidding me?! Of course I will!! What in the shit was that!? Since when do you speak German and who´s horse was that?!?!?! My sweet child, you two were so into each other you didn’t even notice me over here!” Her wide brown eyes stared you down while you tried to hide your flustered expression.

Walking over to her you leaned over the counter and lay your head on it. Lucy still tried to control her giggles. “I don´t know, okey? He was just…he got my book off the shelve and then…medieval blacksmithing…Grin...EYES!” you groaned out almost exasperatedly.

“Oh deary, I noticed. You were back there for almost two hours. I thought for a moment you ditched me without paying.” You stood up straight again and gave her an unamused look. “You know I´d never do that.” Lucy nodded good naturedly. “Of course I do but seriously, how is it you speak German?”

“I don’t speak that much, honestly. Most of it is self-taught. I just…like it” you shrugged. “Well, HE obviously did too” Lucy winked, her impossibly white teeth shining. You groaned again but couldn’t hide the massive grin.

“You need to come into the shop every day now in case he comes back” your friend said while pouring you a cup of coffee.

With a huff your heart sank again. “I can´t,” you said in a small voice. “I don´t have any more vacation days this year and they really need me on base.”

Lucy tutted and looked a bit miffed. “You know, one would think that a military base would have more than one chief mechanic for their helis and shit.” You snorted at her offended tone and your heart grew several sizes for your friend.

“Tell you what” she said in a determined voice. “Next time he comes in, I´ll give him your number. NO buts!” she held her finger in your face and swirled it, crunching up her adorable button nose. “It´s not like he´s easy to overlook.”

You grinned and nodded your head in defeat. It wasn’t like you didn’t want him to have your number. Of course you did. But with all your duties on base, you didn’t know if you would have the chance to give it to him personally. So you just hoped that the man named König would somehow stumble into your life again. As adorably as he did this afternoon. 

_________________________________________________________

Weeeeeeell? What do we think? Part 2? I do have an idea for a mini series so let me know if you woul´d like to read that ;) There will be smut if you like. Let me know if you´d like to be tagged and check out my account for more spicy and fluffy stories.

Thank you very much for reading <3 If you´d like please interact with this post. Comments, liks and reblogs always make my day. Your opinion matters greatly. Only with feedback can I improve :) I´d also like to thank TikTok for feeding me König content so religiously that I had no other chance than to write this

[skiiyoomin]

ʚEasy ┊Satoru Fucking Gojo (the series)

previous chapter

⤑Listen to the following songs while reading : Who´s That Chick? - Rihanna; Long Way 2 Go - Cassie (follow the playlist)

Parties, the peak of the university experience. The cramped spaces reeking of alcohol and drugs. The bodies grinding against each other. The music so loud it's deafening. So much so that you have to scream over it until your throat is sore. Satoru Gojo can proudly say it's his thing. His place. He can't resist a good party. Like the one he's currently in.

The start of classes after summer vacation means parties to welcome new students lucky enough to wander into the University of Tokyo. New students like yourself. Gojo has to admit he´s especially thrilled to attend this party. Because it's his first party as a second year he tells himself. Not because you - the pretty foreign student - are going to be there, definitely not because of that. 

“Satoru!” He snaps out of his thoughts. Suguru, his closest friend, calls him over. “Hey man” He smirks, dabbing him up. “Come join us” Suguru leads him to a corner where his friends are standing with the best view of the dancefloor. Perfect. Just the spot for him to pick his fun for the night.

He slings his arm around Sugurus' shoulder. “You see anyone yet?” Suguru chuckles, jutting his chin in someone's direction, your direction. “Pretty girl has everyone at this party hooked. Can't blame them, she´s got moves” True to his word, you are giving it your all. The sway of your body in sync with the rhythm of the music can only be described as sinfully sensual. You´re feeling yourself, and everyone can tell, warranting many wanting gazes. There´s nothing more attractive than confidence, and you´re brimming with it.

Out of his own will, Gojo´s mouth goes dry. Whatever drink is in his cup feels like a thousand needles when he pours it down his throat. The swing of your hips is downright criminal. He's never seen someone move the way you do. With such grace and allure, you put sirens to shame. He's no better than a pirate, willing to dive into your waters with the drop of a hat.

But he's not the only one. The blinding lights are shining down on you and everyone else is nothing but mere spectators waiting for the opportunity to get a taste, to be close to you. Idiots. He thinks. Unlike every fool in this cramped room, Satoru Gojo does not wait for an opportunity to present itself. If he wants something, he takes it. He doesn't ask, he demands. And right now, he wants you. Seems like he found his fun faster than expected.

He smirks. You´re going to be so easy. He´ll flatter you, and make you feel like you´re on top of the world. Only, after he has some fun with you, he´ll leave. It´s a vicious cycle that earned him his name as the universities biggest playboy. He doesn't regret it.

His sly grin widens when you step out off the dance floor and head to the backyard. Well, this keeps getting easier and easier. “Hold this for me” He mutters, handing Suguru his cup without looking away from your retreating figure. 

The air is fresh when he steps into the backyard, the chilly breeze snipping at his overheated skin. The porch is empty, aside from you, and now him. Easy. The wooden floor creaks under his polished trainers. You snap your head in the direction of the sound, startled by the eerie noise. You´re not sure if you should be relieved when you recognize the sudden presence of Satoru Gojo. The hungry look in his gaze is unmistakable. You´ve seen it enough times to recognize it. It does nothing to soothe the unsettling feeling swirling at the pit of your stomach. Or is it the alcohol? You´re not too sure anymore. 

“Having a good time?” He steps closer, close enough that you can catch whiffs of his cologne when the breeze sweeps by. “I am” His eyes flick up and down, unashamedly checking you out. He flashes his famous charming smile “I could tell. You had everyone eating out of the palm of your hand” The smirk on your lips is mischievous, it's knowing. “It's safe to say I got your attention too didn´t I?” You know the effect you have. He has to admit, your boldness impresses him. A chuckle slips past his lips “Guilty as charged. It's hard not to when you're dancing like that” Ah. It's obvious where he was leading things. You'd be damned if you let him get to you that easily. He's an idiot if he thinks so otherwise. 

“You´re quite conceited if you seriously believe I´m here to entertain you” Out of his own will, his eyes widen for a split second. No one ever stood up against him. No one ever dared to. His icy blue eyes narrowed as fast as they widened, almost making it seem like his surprise was a hallucination. The smile on his lips is sickeningly sweet, a bad combination with the cold glare. That´s no good. “Oh, come on. You can drop the act. I know you´re eating this up”

You bark out a laughter of disbelief and mild amusement. Just how conceited is this guy? “Don´t get ahead of yourself. You´re not the first to try your luck” You really are a match for him. He´s not sure if he likes that. “I'm sure I'm not. But I can guarantee you, sweetheart, I´m the best you´ll ever see” The temptation to roll your eyes was nearly painful. But somehow you manage to control it.

“Don't put yourself on such a high pedestal” Huffing in surprise, his upper lip curls into a scowl “Aren't you a treat?” Got him. “I´m sorry if I ruined your plans, but you´re a fool if you think I'm falling for your trap so easily” The sweetness in your voice is fake, he knows it. The grin taunting him, waving his fail in his face. When was the last time a girl rejected him?

He doesn't like it. Doesn´t like you, but damn if you aren't a temptation. He watches you head back inside, the image of your hips swaying as you walk away replaying in his mind. “Fuck” This was not going to be so easy. Though he´s not determined for nothing, he never gives up, especially when he wants something. Satoru Gojo does not back down from a challenge. And you're the biggest challenge he may face.

tag list ੈ✩‧₊˚ @chilichopsticks, @pnkoo

[maggyme13]

Moving above the Underworld (4/?)

Ellie just moved into a new flat. Introducing herself to her downstairs neighbor with a cake she did not realize what the future held for her and him. And what had an asshole coworker to do with it?

AN: Part 4 :) Well... hope you are ready for some angst and spice ?

Don´t like-> Don´t Read, Minors DNI

Warning: forced marriage, Dubcon, angst, smut

Wordcount: Around 2.3k

Masterlist

Series-Masterlist

Part 3

Another two weeks later, her boss called Ellie into his office. “Remember the villa you were at? The customer called and ordered for you to get your ass there and repair something you must have messed up the last time. Pack your stuff. And if you don´t manage to do so, consider yourself fired.”, he sneered mad as hell. She grabs her tools and leaves with the driver sent to fetch her. He did not say a word to her, so they drove silently. With every passing minute, her anxiety rose and when they finally drove through the gates, she was a mental wreck. “May I ask what I broke?”, she whispered to the man who greeted her. He was big, bald, and tatted everywhere. “No. Now enter that room and strip to your underwear. I will search you while someone else looks through your stuff.”, he grinned, an evil glint in his eyes and Ellie shuddered. She felt dirty when he was done and at the edge of tears with how strung her nerves were.

“Got her Boss. Searched and confirmed clean.”, the man with her announced and motioned for her to enter the room. It was filled with around a dozen men that screamed “I will kill you if you even think about looking at me not the right way.” Next to a grey-haired man behind the big office table stood her neighbor, looking mighty pissed in their direction.

“You are one of the woodworkers that build this office?”, the man at the desk stated, his voice and demeanor demanding submission and respect. He must be the one in charge. “Yes, Sir. What is wrong if I may ask.”, she asked with a gulp. “There is a hidden compartment built into the desk. I believe you are aware of that.”, he continued raising an eyebrow ever so slightly. “Yes, Sir. I was the one who built it.” “Good. I cannot open it and need what is in there NOW. The Table was expensive and I am sure you can get to it without destroying my purchase.” “Ye-Yes, Sir. I only need some room and someone to help me. It might take half an hour to an hour.”, she admitted, hoping he would be alright with that testament. “Better get to it then.”, he ordered, and Ellie grabbed her tools and made her way to the table in question, “And don´t even think about looking at what is inside. Or it will have consequences.” A threat she was sure to remember. Taking out all the drawers and the two doors she worked towards the hidden compartment. Loosening one screw after the other the woodworker was almost at her goal when she noticed the reason for the trouble: The drawer had wedged itself against a small branch that had risen due to the working of the wood. It should not have happened and she frowned, that was a beginner's mistake, and she was no beginner. Not able to dislodge the drawer with the way it was stuck, she instead chose to unscrew the slide it was moved on. She had just unscrewed what should be the second to last screw on either side when the whole drawer fell onto her. The Bastard Solomon hadn´t assembled it the right way. Ellie had to crawl into the desk to be able to reach the drawer, and so it had emptied itself on her body. Now she was covered in two guns, three magazines, a lot of money, and two bags. One with something white and powdery in it, the other one with dried leaves. She had not been able to realize what had just happened when she was pulled out by her legs. “It´s free, sir.”, she mumbled not knowing what else to say, pretty much it was a shock she later believed. The Boss just quirks an eyebrow at her, almost amused. “I´ll take care of her. Make it look like an accident.”, the one who had searched her before stated. Panic immediately burned through her veins and her eyes flickered to everyone she ´was able to see. “Sad but necessary. I fear we cannot allow you to leave after you saw what you saw. I really like your work though.”, the boss hummed, his eyes cold, “Get her to a secured room. We will take care of it after business is finished. She still has to put my desk back together after all.” He had just waved his hand, when two of the men stepped forward, grabbed an arm of her each, and escorted her back to the room she had been staying in. It felt like hours she had to wait sitting on the bed under the never-blinking eyes of the two guards until she was called back to the office. Ellie felt like fainting. This time only half of the men were there. “You may repair my desk now.”, the man in charge ordered and she got to work. Within the hour she had repaired the table. All the while trying to keep in the tears of fear that threatened to fall.

“Your table is repaired Sir.”, she whispered with a small hiccup, not daring to look anyone in the eyes. “Good. I hope it will not misfunction again.” “It should not.”, Ellie admits flinching with the innuendo of what it meant for her: Death. “Good. I assume you understand that I cannot let you leave like this after you saw what you saw. After you saw our business.”, the boss stated, his voice neutral and hands resting on the desk between them “Yes, Sir.”, she mumbled. “Good. Now sign this paper.”, he orders sliding her a stack of papers that were open to where her signature was needed. She hesitated. Why did they need her signature? “What do you think this is?”, he hummed after a few seconds without reaction on her side. “A testament? Suicide note? Something like that.”, Ellie whispered “Why would you think that?” “The -the one that searched me- said, said he would make it look like an accident earlier.” “He did. But no. It´s a marriage contract. You will marry my best and most loyal enforcer, move in with him, give him an heir, and leave your job. Everything you do will be under surveillance and if you even think about telling anyone about what you know. Your husband will take care of you. You will do what you are told when you are told.”, he continues with a stern voice, “Now sign before I do make my men kill you.” With trembling fingers and tears running down her face, Ellie signs her fate. “Good. Captain take your new wife to your room and make this official. You have the next two days off.”, the boss clapped his hands with a huge smile on his face. A strong and giant hand closed around her upper right arm and she followed without resistance or looking at her new husband. He led through the villa, past ´her´ room, up a flight of stairs, and along a corridor. The room she was pushed into was simple but not sparse and held in dark colors. A giant bed stood against the right wall, opposite two rooms that must lead towards a bathroom and closet. A sob shook the woman´s body as she was pushed into the adjoined bath and handed a towel. Her new husband had ordered her to shower without addressing her. If she was glad about it or not she wasn´t sure.. The bathroom itself was decorated in the same style as the bedroom. A black bathtub stood in the right corner of the room, opposite to it was an open walk-in shower. The toilet was situated behind a small screen and opposite the also black sink and large mirror. Not daring to take too long and anger him in the process she hurried to get out of her work clothes and into the shower. Who knew what he would do to her otherwise? Ellie might not have been involved with crime at any time in her life but was an avid watcher of true crime and knew that enforcers were the most brutal men within the underworld. She feared his reaction, she had not shaved her legs in a few days (her long trousers covered her legs most of the day either way) and for months not between her legs, she was single after all and why should she spend time and effort for something that would bring her nothing apart from work and itching for the first few days? And then there was her body itself. She was not obese, but she was not thin either. Her work had left her with some muscle, muscles that were covered by some fat that gave her a small tummy and some wider thighs and arms. Anxious and wrapped in the offered towel she returned to the bedroom not daring to look up from the floor. What if her new husband was a sexual sadist?

“I- I am finished. Wh- what do you want me to do, Sir?”, she announced, fear evident in her voice. But she was greeted by silence and she thought she might have been left alone. However, her hope was crushed when soft fingertips moved along her shoulders, exposed spine, and neck. Surprised Ellie jerked together and clutched the towel even more to herself. Soon the fingers were exchanged for lips while hands moved to her hips, guiding her forward towards the bed. At the bed, he moved his hands and pushed her body forward so her Backside was exposed and no longer covered by the towel. With one hand between her shoulders to keep her from moving away he moved the other one between her legs and played with her pussy. Silently she sobbed into the covers and her husband stopped for a split second before continuing with playing with her nether regions. His fingers circled her clit, moving between her folds and dipping in and out of her wet and wetter becoming chanel. Slowly she felt an orgasm approach and soon her breathing hitched and her body trembled in ecstasy. She had just come around her unknown husband's fingers. There would be no time for her to relish in that feeling, just seconds after she was finished she felt his dick enter and he started fucking her. A whimper left her. Not because he was brutal in how he was taking her, but because she simply did not want him to do so. However she did not want to die, so having sex with someone she did not know or want was a better option. Maybe one day she could enjoy her husband taking her. Her new husband had even waited for her to adjust to him before fucking until he came. He did not leave her then. No. He stayed within her as deep as possible and played with her until she came around him once more

Ellie felt him lean forward to place a soft kiss between her shoulders before stepping back and leaving her in the process. She wondered what would happen now. Only to jerk together when his hand returned between her legs, this time taking the towel she was still wearing to the overly sensitive area. He was cleaning her. When he was finished, she noticed him stepping back and waited for any new orders. But again no orders were given verbally, instead, he threw her a shirt to wear to bed as well as a pair of his boxers. Ignoring the fact that she was being watched Ellie got dressed in the offered clothes and slipped beneath the covers that were held open for her. Still not daring to look at her new husband she thanked whoever was listening that he did not force her to. Laying there she tried to stifle her still ragged breathing. She was not alone in bed after all and did not want to anger her new husband because he could not sleep. There was no need for her to worry though: almost understanding he drew circles against her back before pulling her against his chest in a reassuring manner. It had something comforting to her and after hours of mental and physical stress, exhaustion took over and she finally fell asleep. When Ellie awoke the next morning the sound of a running shower was the first thing she heard. Washing away her hope that it all had been a nightmare. Of course, she had not been that lucky. Staying in the warm comfort the covers were giving her, she thought about everything that had happened the day prior and decided to take a look at her husband earlier than later. Pushing unwanted things back to do later was never a good idea she had learned a long time ago. And so, when the water stopped running and the door opened not too long after, Ellie took a deep breath and looked up. There in the open doorway, with only a towel around his hips and water still running down his muscled body, stood her former neighbor, now husband. He was part of the underworld, an enforcer at it, and now married to her. What did she do wrong for this to happen?

Part 5

AN: Thank you all for reading:)

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@kingliam2019 @identity2212 @toooldforobsessions @secretdream2

[jessysapphireblue]

One Piece Advent Calender Door 17

Door 17: Getting the Supplies

“A date with my beloved Goddess”, Sanji almost flew behind you with hearts, while you looked at the shopping list. “Sanji, your creepy side shows” “Ah, sorry sorry”, he stopped and went to you. “How should we do it?”, you asked. “If you want we can go together!!!” “But it would take double the time, and you´re already busy as it is”

The cook swore, he nearly died when you said it in a soft, concerning voice. “MY GODDESS~~~”, he swooned loudly and hugged you close, praising you like there was no tomorrow, and people began to look at you both, some snickering, some cooing.

“S-Sanji” “Oh my beloved! You light my day like an angel, carry me away with your love to the Garden of Eden, just the two of us! No one else~ I´ll be your slave for all eternity~” “S-Sanji, please” “Ah, my beloved you-” Picking his nose, he yelped shortly and let you finally free. “Thank you, Sanji. Following. You do half of the list, I do the other one”, you swiftly folded and ripped the list in half. “There! You take care of the meat we need, and I get these things like cabbage, fruits and everything else. Does that sound ok to you?” “B-But the date”, he looked so depressed.

“URGH!”, you groaned. “If you get protective over me because some store clerk or ANY guy that talks to me, I am gone and you do it yourself, understood?”, you said serious and Sanji´s nose already began to drip. “Y-You mean-”

You started walking. “You comming now or not?” “OM MY WAY!”, you swore he used soru or anything similar, how fast he was by you.

Walking from store to store you both bought the stuff needed, and Sanji had to bite down his jacket whenever a male talked to you, no matter the age. Even if it were little boys from the Christmas cards you did few days prior asked if Soma was by you again.

“Do you seriously got jealous of the children?”, you laughed softly. “My Goddess! A male is a male!” Laughing more, he began to swoon again from your laughter. “Ah, you´re simply perfect~” “Me? I´m not perfect! Nobody is...so” You spotted an empty bench and went there with Sanji. “Sanji, stay here for a bit. Rest your arms from all the grocery shopping, I come back soon, Promise”

He sat down and watched you run away, his heart warmed. You were always so kind to him, gentle and a big help in the kitchen, even if it was just simple serving of the food. “Damn Luffy. If you break her heart I will break you...”, he growled a little as you came back. “Thanks for waiting. Here. I got you some hot coffee and a crepe. What would you like? I have Banana and chocolate chips with peanuts or with some hot cherrys and vanilla”

“You-thank you” he said and took the coffee. He didn´t wanted to admit it but he did needed something hot. “I saw how you began to freeze and I thought you could use something warm. So what would you like?” “Oh, the banana one” Smiling, you handed him the crepe before taking a bite out of yours.

“This is nice”, he said and you looked at the blond cook, his smile genuine and soft. “what is?” “This. I had a lot of fun shopping with you” “Sanji, I already told you that I join you. Can´t you get everything alone! It isn´t fair...” “But still- Thank you” “Of course. But dont worry about me. I can defend myself...I have the higher bounty than Zoro” “Haha! Mosshead got overthrown by a girl”

“Oh why yes! Want a bite from my crepe?” “I-I-Indirect-” An indirect kiss with his Goddess?! Sanji was freaking out. Leaning to it, his mouth began to shake as “UH! YUMMY!”, Luffy appeared from behind the bench and took a big bite from it. “LUFFY!”, both of you shouted. “HOT! HOT HOT HOT!”, he said with full mouth as you laughed a little, Sanji felt depressive yet again. “You runied my indirect kiss with my Goddess”, Sanji fell into the snow. “What´s wrong, Sanji?” Luffy was confused. “Uh! Hot choco!” “Here, take a sip”, you smiled and handed him your cup as he drank but put his tounge out. “No. Your´s is better”

“Because I spoiled you...why are you even here?” “HEHE! I got lost”, he stated proudly “This is not something to be proud off, Capatin” “No? well then” “Ok, let us go back to the sunny, we have everything now” “Yes please. I´m getting hungry and have no money”, Luffy whined loudly.

And with that, Sanji, Luffy and you went back to the Sunny, the boys carrying the supplies while you drank your hot chocolate slowly to an end.

[skijumpingf1]

WAG duties (D. Prevc x D. Tande)

Hello guys! I am finally done with my Planica story of Domiel. Sorry it is very long. I already cut some stuff but maybe I´ll do a separate oneshot for Peters Gala and the afterparty since I kinda want to write this. But I finally wanted to finish this, so I left it out here. You can read it independently but this time I would recommend to read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. I hope you enjoy it and if you have more ideas what i can write, feel free to send them to me.

Trigger warning: talking about Daniels fall (more feelings about the fall then the fall itself but i wanted to give you guys a heads up)

Wordcount: 7713

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Quali wasn’t what I hoped for. The new inrun doesn’t really suit me. But today only one person matters, and it is not me. It isn’t my older brother either. Nika is the only who is import today. She will get her more than deserved crystal globe in a few hours. “I bet we are more nervous than her.”, is Cene speaking. The wait between our quali and the girl’s competition is way too long for my liking. Peter and I are the only ones who stayed from our team to stay at the hill after our jumps. Together with Cene and Daniel we are sitting in the VIP tent, that is mostly empty right now. Hopefully a lot of the spectators return for tonight. Nika deserves a full stadium. “She already won it, so most of the pressure is gone.”, Peter says. He is the only one who can really answer that question since he knows this feeling. The feeling we all want to experience. “Are you jealous, Domci? Everyone thought that it would be you who brings the next globe home.”  I shoot a deadly look in Cene´s direction. Daniel puts his hand on my thigh. We exchange a small look and I roll my eyes what makes Daniel press his lips together, so that he doesn’t smile.  “Shut up Cene. Of course, I am jealous but don’t pretend that you aren’t. But if one of you guys deserves the globe than it is Nika.” I saw how Nika worked her ass of since she barely could stand on skis. She always wanted to be better than us and now she finally is. If it was Cene or even Peter again, I probably wouldn’t sit here so relaxed. I admit that. But it is Nika that we are talking about. My little Nika. Of course, I am jealous, but I am a thousand times happier.

Friday is an afternoon competition, which is strange. Planica and the morning, that belongs together. That’s why I wake up at six in the morning even when my alarm isn’t set for before eight. Daniels arm is loosely slung around my hip and his head rests on my shoulder. Our legs are intertwined. He is still sleeping, and his face finally looks relaxed and peaceful. In the last couple of weeks, the stress of his bad jumps and the whole Alex drama, kept him up at night. He desperately needs rest. Sadly, this year our vacation would fall a bit short. My team still has a million press things to do before we theoretically could go on holiday. My home city didn’t want to be excluded in the whole Peter Prevc goodbye ceremonies and throws a massive thing for him. With mandatory attendance for everyone with the last name Prevc. Daniel would stay in Slovenia for the whole time, and we could finally discuss a few things in depth. But a real vacation would be hard to get this year. So, moments like this are even more important. I feel a bit bad that he doesn’t get to take a really holiday because of my schedule. According to him it is more important to spent time together and I agree but I still feel shitty. Maybe I could take him to Italy before easter. Just us two in a tiny house near a beach. That would be enough. Even if it is too cold for actual swimming in the ocean.

“Stop thinking.” A mumble from my boyfriend gets me out of my thoughts. Carelessly I stroke a blonde strand of hair out of his face. His eyes are still closed but a small smile is plastered on his face. “Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.” His hand moves from my hip to my chest, where he gently strokes my bare skin. Danny is barely touching me, so light is his trace. I still get goosebumps from it. “Peter?”, he asks, eyes still closed. “You. I always think about you.” Now he opens his beautiful eyes and looks up to me. I run my hand through his hair and stroke his cheek. “That was cheesy.”, he laughs a bit and presses a kiss on my shoulder. “But it is true.” “And what specifically have you been thinking about me?” The sun is starting to rise outside of my bedroom. We didn’t close the blinds and the first few sunbeams are falling through the window. A nice way to wake up. “That you need a vacation and how we can make it work.” “A vacation would be nice, but I don’t need it.” I let my forehead fall onto his head. “We all need a vacation after this season. I certainly do.” We shift a little so that we are face to face, my hand still on his cheek.

Daniels eyes observe me closely for what feels like a minute. “How are you doing after the falls yesterday?” I open my mouth and close it again. Where is this coming from? We didn’t even trade a word about the falls yesterday. Of course, it makes sense that the falls are on his mind, but the timing is weird. And why is he asking me how I am doing? He is the one who experienced a fall like that. “How are you doing?” “I asked first.”, Daniel laughs dryly. A small smile is on his lips, but it is not a happy smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes. It looks almost pity. “I mean I hope everyone is relatively fine of course but I didn’t really think about it much.” I am not lying, not completely. Obviously, I thought about it but not as much as I assumed I would be. Seeing Sergei´s fall made the feelings from three years ago definitely reappear, not going to lie. But it is manageable. “Don’t lie to me, Domen. And for god’s sake talk to me about my fall. Normally you are always so open about your feelings but with this, you always shut your emotions away.” The Norwegian scopes a bit closer to me if it is even possible. Our whole bodies touch. His head rests against mine. I close my eyes for a few seconds, and I just take him being in my arms in. His scent is surrounding me, and I take a deep breath.

“I hate to even think about it. It was the worst day of my life. So, yeah, I hate talking about it with everyone but especially with you since you are the one who actually got hurt.” Daniel sucks in a breath. We talked about the fall before. Something would be very wrong in our relationship if we didn’t, but we always talked more about him. How he felt going back to the hill, going back to Planica. He asked how it was for me, but I shoved it down. Apparently, this won’t work anymore. “Maybe I got physically hurt but you got emotionally hurt. Gosh, I know how hard it was for my team I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you. That you even found the courage to get up the hill again. If the roles were reversed, I would have freaked out.” Our eyes meet and I can see that his are a bit teary. My mind wanders to the conversation I had with Cene back then. We were sitting in one of the empty cabins and I cried my eyes out. He was the one who said I should jump for myself and for Danny that day. Ultimately, he was right. Going back up, helped my calm my nerves. I let my hands run through his hair. “I freaked out as well. I didn’t see the fall, but I knew that something happened. The atmosphere changed. Everyone just kind of went in shock, I guess. At first, it didn’t even occur to me that you could be the one who fell but then someone told me, and my world just stopped. Then I heard from Lovro that the fall was bad bad. Somehow, I ended up in an empty cabin. God, I cried so much in there and then Cene came, and I cried even more. The worst part was the not knowing. Nobody knew about us. For all I could have known you could have been dead, and nobody would have told me.” It was probably half an hour in which I was truly unsure if he was alive. That feeling was just unbearable. Cene was so confused when he found me. I just had to tell him why I was so upset. I had to tell him that I love Daniel so that he would understand why I sobbed so hard I could barely breath. Yesterday after Sergei´s fall, for a moment I was back in that cabin, crying into my brother’s chest. “Thank you for telling me, Domen. Really. Your emotions regarding the fall are as important as mine and I am sorry that you feel like they aren’t.” “Honestly, it isn’t that bad anymore. The falls were scary, but I know you are okay. That calms my nerves.” Daniel takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. “But please if you think about the fall, please just talk to me about it.” I nod hesitantly. My gaze wanders to the window. The sun is nearly fully up now and shines onto the Slovenian alps. “I think it is time for breakfast.” Daniel groans and lets his head fall onto my chest. “Gosh, why are you so bad at changing subject?” I roll out of the bed and reach my hand out. He takes it and I pull him out of the bed. With a step he is in front of me and pushes me against the white wall behind me. Daniel lets his lips sink onto mine. “Good morning.”, he whispers against my lips and then he kisses me again.

“Are you coming?”, my brother asks me. Peter is standing at the door already fully changed into his suit and ready to go up the hill. I, on the other hand, am late. The fans are crazy today, and I took too much time giving autographs. While stepping into my suit, I close my backpack and step into my shoes. Today is not the day to stress my brother with being late. Also, I know that this could be the last time that we go up a hill together and I want to enjoy that with him. Of course, there is a chance that we are close in the standing after the first round today or on Sunday. But if one of us messes up this could be the last time. After many, many years of training and competing together this could be the last time that we sit next to each other in the waiting room or that we share a lift. “Almost done.”, is my response when I tie my shoes. “Would you mind grabbing my skis?” Peter groans. “Nothing changes with you.” I can hear a bit of a sentimental undertone in his annoyed voice. When I first got into world cup Pero had to do stuff like this all the time for me. I was constantly late or forgot things. Without him I would have messed up so often. I bet I am not the only one who thinks about this now.

Even today the atmosphere is exceptionally good, and I know it will just get better. Peter and I are quiet until we get to the lift. We both just let everything sink in. “A podium would be nice. Like old times, you know.” In the last couple of weeks, I came to the conclusion that I took the shared podiums with Peter for granted. I blame my teenage self on it. With seventeen you don’t really think too much about stuff like this and especially that it can end. “Who do we have to sacrifice to make it work?” Peter jokes and gets me to laugh. “Definitely Cene.”, we say in unison. We share a look and start to fully loose it in the little lift that is too small for both of us with our stuff. Up here we are just two brothers joking. “I will miss this.”, I speak up when we both calmed down a bit. Pero closes his eyes for a moment and leans against the back of the lift. “Yeah. I will miss this too. To be honest, it was one of the only reasons why I had second thoughts about the retirement.” In surprise I raise an eyebrow. “Why did you never tell me?” “Because I am not good at that brotherly stuff, I think. Cene and you have such a good relationship for you guys it is easy to do stuff like this. I don’t know how to talk to you half of the time and I am sorry that I never put in more effort. Especially when you joined the world cup.” Who would have thought that Peter and I would have one of our rare hearts to hearts in the lift in Planica on his last weekend? Not me certainly. “It always takes two in a relationship, and I certainly wasn’t easy. I am sorry for that too.” “Since when are you so wise?” We are almost up the hill, and I sort my stuff out so I can hop from the lift. “Daniel´s fault.” Peter grins at me knowingly. “He is so good for you, Domen. Please keep him forever.” “I am plaining on it.”

 In total disbelief, I look at the big screen in the outrun. Around me everyone just explodes. An unreal noise reaches my ears. Pero just won. He fucking won. In Planica. At his last weekend. How on earth did he do that? When I turn around to Pero, a million people already surround him. Lovro is on the verge of tears and this time I can’t make fun of him for it since I need to swallow hard as well. Everyone is running to my brother and congratulate him. Like it is an automatism I start to move in his direction as well. “What the hell, Pero?”, I whisper in my brother’s ear when I wrap my arms around him. “I love you too, Domci.” My brother pats my back and smiles down at me. The next person is already waiting to congratulate him, so I take a step back. Still in shock I shake my head. My eyes scan the people around me to find the one person I want to share this moment with. It just takes a few seconds until I spot him. He is standing next to Silje, the social media manager of team Norway. His gaze is already on me, probably for a while already, and a wide grin is on his face. When our eyes meet my heart stops for a moment. Smiling him is my favourite version of Daniel. “I love you.”, my lips form silently. He repeats it and holds his hands in front of his chest. I allow myself a few more seconds than I turn around. Someone has to parade Peter around and this person has to be me. Not just because the press and then fans will eat it up, rather because I want to share this with my brother. Even though Peter is a mystery me half of the time, I know that he feels the same.

“Lovro, come on.” I drag my teammate on his elbow into the direction of the outrun. Pero already nods in my direction. He had the same thought as me. “What?” “We are going to celebrate with Peter. Lift him on our shoulders. Can you do that or are you to emotional? I don’t want him to fall.” Of course, I am joking. Lovro would never let Peter fall. Even when his face is red like it is now from crying. “What? Why me? Wouldn’t be Timi better or Anze?” Instead of giving him an answer, I pull on his arm until we get to the outrun. Pero is directly behind us. The crowd is getting wild again when Peter steps out in their sight again. God, how can anything ever top this? “We all know it means the most to you. So now shut up and enjoy it.”

 In full disguise Danny is standing next to me. He is wearing a Beanie from Peters merch that covers his blonde hair, a normal jacket, and cheap sunglasses. Not his sunglasses though, these are on my face. Until now nobody recognized him, and we try to keep it that way. It is risky that he is standing here next to me and Peros family, watching him go out for the provisional podium. But I want him to be there, so he is here. “Unbelievable.”, Daniel mutters under his breath. “Just perfect Peter Prevc can do this.” Before my boyfriend gets a shoot at saying something again, we get interrupted by Oscar. My nephew is currently in the arms of Minas brother, but he is getting fussy. Probably the loud atmosphere. He hates noisy things. Without thinking much, I stretch my arms out for him, and he leans over to me. “Come here.”, I grab him, and he settles in my arms. Oscar is cuddling his face in my chest and a quite laugh escapes me. “I know it is loud, but it is happy loudness. Okay? Everyone is happy for your dad.” Daniel runs his hand over the little boy’s hair. “Everything is alright.”, he speaks in Slovene to my nephew. The first podium ceremony was over, and they are already starting to build the real podium when Peter comes to us. He gives his wife a kiss and rubs over Ludvik´s hair, before turning to me. “Do you want to go to Dad?”, I ask Oscar. He nods and I let Peter take him but not without squeezing him first. “I love seeing you with kids.”, Daniel whispers and steps a bit closer to me. Over my shoulder I shoot him a funny look. “What is that supposed to mean?” My boyfriend shrugs. “Nothing in particular.” From his face I can tell that he has something particular in his mind and God in moments like this it is on my mind too.

Saturday begins with a shitshow. The conditions on the hill are slippery to say the least. A lot of falls happen during the first round. Not falls like Daniels fall but still. Sadly, Timi is also part of the club that fell. A little moment without concentrating was enough for him to slip. Apparently, he is relatively fine. Just his shoulder is hurt but thank God not his knee. A torn ACL from Timi is the last thing my team could need after Peros retirement. Apart from the falls the wind suddenly got gusty during the break and now I am sitting outside on a little railing with Lovro waiting on a decision from the jury. I let my legs swing a bit fully aware that a cameraman is just meters away probably filming us. “No way they let us jump again.”, my teammate states while he tries to flick a strand of hair of his face. With the gusts of wind his hair just won’t stick out of it. I can’t hide the laugh and I lean over to rub him over his head to fix his hair. “Here you go honey.”, I mock him. “Wow so gentle. Thank you so much.” The cameraman takes a step in our direction and Lovro waves. “And I bet you just did it to give the fans a show.” Before I can answer, Peter is coming up the hill. Still in his trainings cloths. That can only mean one thing. “Competition cancelled?”, I scream over the loud wind. My brother nods and comes closer. “We are second. So, a Podium.” Our eyes look for a few seconds, a small nod. Both of us are not too sad about the cancelation. Without Timi we would have no chance of keeping a podium spot. Now we get a shared podium. An individual podium would have been better but tomorrow we will get another shot at that. “Have you heard from Timi?” “It is not too bad. Just bruised but he will go to the hospital after the podium to get his shoulder checked out.” I hop from the railing, while Lovro groans. “That means he will miss the Planica party.” Peter rolls his eyes at our teammate. I can guess what he thinks now. We should be thankful that he is relatively fine and not be disappointed that he won´t celebrate with us. It is still shitty for Timi that he won’t be there. The Planica party is legendary. Every year after the team competition on Saturday everybody gets together and celebrates the end of the season. The best thing about is that we get a chance to talk to the athletes from the other nations longer than just five minutes in between the chaos of the competitions.

20 minutes later we are standing in the outrun of the hill. The organisers didn’t want for the fans to wait longer, so I didn’t even have time to talk with Danny. But at least his sunglasses are covering my eyes from the bright sun today and in a way his on the podium with me. In typical Planica fashion the nations are pretty mixed and some of the Norwegians speak with Lovro. Pero is talking to Kraft about God knows what. That leaves me with Timi. He has a provisional sling on his arm. “So, no jumping tomorrow as well?” My teammates shrugs with a smile on his face. The atmosphere is so spectacular that even an injury can´t erase the smile from one’s face. “No probably not but at least I can enjoy Peters last competition then.” I look at my brother who is talking to the Austrians, who beat us today. He is fully relaxed as if this couldn’t be his last podium ever. I shallow hard. God, I didn’t think it would be so hard. “How are you doing? It is probably good for you that Daniel is here this weekend.”, my teammate tries to get my attention back. “I am good. He is my brother I will see him often enough outside of ski jumping.” Timi is tilting his head. “Really?” I get rescued by Marius Lindvik, who takes a step in our direction. “I think I know those sunglasses. Danny´s, right?” I can feel how my cheeks get hot. Even after all this time Daniel still gets me to blush. “Well now there are mine.”, I laugh and Marius nods knowing. “That’s why you have been running around with them like a manic. I was wondering.” Lovro pads me on the back. I roll my eyes. “They are just sunglasses.”, I say even though for me they aren’t just sunglasses.

The air is filled with smells of different foods from all over the world. The village is prober full. Everyone is here. Even other athletes than just Daniel that aren’t even jumping this weekend. Loud music comes from a speaker that the Norwegian brought and Marius, as the DJ he is, plays a few tunes. I lean against Daniel, who is standing behind me and has an arm slung around my shoulder. He is talking to Artti about the, nicely put, disgusting looking food he brought. My boyfriend is polite enough to take a bite, but I can tell by the way he stiffens behind me that he hates it, so I don’t even bother. “It is not that bad, Domen. Really, you should try it.” “Sorry but I still have to jump tomorrow.” And I really don’t want to witness Peters last competition from the toilette. Daniel tightens the grip around me, but I shake my head. “Nope. Maybe next year.” I release myself from his arm. A half small is on Dannys face, when I turn around to him. “Do you want a sausage? I bet the German, or the Polish will grill some.” Daniel takes my hand again, as if he couldn’t stand being away from me too long. The best thing about this party is that nobody from outside is allowed in. Everyone knows about us and when the social media managers or other jumpers put content out, we don’t have to worry about being featured. It feels freeing and already makes me exited how things will be when we are finally fully out. “Is your team making waffles?” My boyfriend waves to Artti, who is just shaking his head at us, and pulls me into the direction of the music. “You guys are so in love, it is gross.”

The typical Norwegian waffle makes my day even better. A few of the Norwegians are already a bit tipsy. “What is your teammate doing?”, I ask after I finished the food. Sindre has a Norwegian flag in one of his hands and is apparently trying to climb up on one of the cabins. “Hopefully he doesn’t brake is neck.”, is Daniels only comment. “How much did he have?” Robin Pedersen is just raising his shoulders as an answer to my question. “Not much but you know how it is. Three beers and a shot and you can get crazy.” A benefit of being a ski jumper and the low weight is that the bill for alcohol is never high. “On that note do you guys want a beer?” I exchange a look with Daniel. He raises an eyebrow at me. An unasked question. “Not for me today. But Danny wants some.” “No, I am fine.” While I bend down to the cooler, I roll my eyes. “Don’t even try. Enjoy a drink with your teammates. Just because I don’t drink doesn’t mean you can´t.” I put a can of beer in his hands and open it for him. Now he is the one to roll is eyes. “I hate that you know me so well.” I shrug. “If that is our only problem.” With the can still in his hand, he puts his hands around my neck and gives me a short kiss. A nice warmth is spreading through me. “You know I love you, right?” I let my hand wander in his hair and let the soft strands run through my fingers. “I love you too.”

A click of a camera lets us flinch. “Oh, shit sorry. It was an instinct to shoot that pic. I can delete it if you want. Obviously, I wouldn’t post it anyways but if you want, I can delete it.” Constantin Schmid cheeks turn very red while he chatters. The German looks at the screen of his camera and smiles shyly. “But the pic got good.” Daniel takes a sip of his beer, one of his hands still around my neck. I give my boyfriend a small nod when his gaze wanders from the German to me. “No, it is fine as long as you don’t post it. But I would appreciate it if you could send it to one of us.” “Of course.” Consti is nodding relieved. For a second, he considers staying or walking away but he chooses to stay. “It is weird being here without jumping, isn’t it?” Daniels hand is sliding from my neck to my hip, and I lean into his side. “It is part of my WAG duty, so I am a bit used to it.” Constantin bursts out into laughter and my boyfriend chuckles as well. Irritated I look up to Danny. “What is WAG?” Now Daniel is also fully laughing and his throwing his head back. “I forgot that you are chronically offline, sorry. A WAG stands for Wife and Girlfriends, and is used for partners of famous people, well men. But the male version is BAH or HAB, so I keep WAG which sounds way better.” “People make up terms for that?” Our colleague is rubbing the back of the head. “There are all kind of terms on the internet. Some are really funny. You should check it out.” “I am trying to convince him on getting a TikTok account for years, but he just doesn’t want to.” A scream from Sindre, who came down the cabin again, is interrupting us. We all turn our heads in the direction. The Norwegian flag is now towering over us on the cabin. “Are we sure he just had a few beers?”, I raise an eyebrow. “That is just him, I fear.” Daniel takes another sip of his beer. I knew that he wanted some. That idiot would really rather please me then himself.

Stephan Leyhe steps next to us. “Excuse me interrupting, but I need to borrow Consti.” “Oh, the team photo?” Stephan nods and points behind him, where team Germany already builds a formation for a pose. “I will send that pic as soon as I am back in the hotel. And no posting I promise.” With that the Germans leave us alone. “That poor boy really was scared for his life. What did he think we would do?” “Don’t you know that the whole field is scared of you.”, I joke but Danny still pulls a shocked face. “What?” “Relax. Nobody is scared of you. You are the definition of sunshine.” An audible breath comes from my boyfriend. “But the better question is why do you want that photo?” “I like photos off us. Also, we need good material for the eventual Instagram posts because as soon as we go public, I will be spamming my Instagram with your face.”

Subconsciously both Peter and I decided to stay in the hotel the night before the final competition. The wakeup call is earlier than usual and the trip from our respective homes would push it even further. Also, it felt kind off fitting sharing a room with my brother for the last time. Not that we spent much time in the same room during our shared part of our careers. The trainers noticed fast that a bit of separation between us helps to keep the peace. But of course, here and there, especially at the beginning, we shared a hotel room. It was always messy and most of the time one of us was mad at the other one at the end of the weekend. But knowing that this will never happen again, makes me want to do this one last time. This is the first time my brother isn’t complaining that my stuff is all over the floor and I don’t groan annoyed while he calls Mina, even though they saw each other just an hour ago. In the dark both of us roll around our beds. Both unable to sleep. My hand wanders in the direction of my phone a couple of times. But Daniel and I wrote each other good night a few hours ago and he will be asleep. And if he is not, he won’t get any sleep tonight knowing that I can’t sleep. After what feels like an eternity Peter rolls over and turns the light back on. I need a few blinks until my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness. Surprised I sit up in my bed and glance at my brother. He looks tired but his fingers are tapping onto the edge of the bed. Untypical for him. “Are you regretting it?”, I ask because it is the only thing that comes to my mind. The only reason why my stable and happy brother wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. For a moment I hope the answer is yes. That it all just was a big prank. But my brother shakes his head. “No, I am not but it´s still strange that tomorrow is the last time that I ever going to jump. It feels unreal. Intangible.” “It is unimaginable for me too. You ski jumping is one of the only constants in my life. But we will adapt to it. You will miss it but then you will look at Vik and Oscar and it will be worth it.” I can’t remember a time where Peter wasn’t going to training after school or to a local competition on the weekends and now it is over. I shallow hard. Maybe Daniel was right. I would cry tomorrow. How could I not? “Cene said it hurts less when we do good. So please do great.” I let myself fall back onto the bed. “I always hate – hated – it when you guys were better than me.”, I admit. Being compared to my brothers is the thing I hate the most in the world cup circus. Nobody sees us as individuals. Nobody sees me as Domen, just another Prevc. Nobody except Daniel at least. He was the first to see me as me. A reason why I fell in love with him. “I know and that is okay. Your career built up so different than mine and with the pressure you got since you were a literal child every other reaction would be forced.” Peter shifts in his bed until he lies down again. “Why couldn’t you sleep?” I shrug, knowing that he can´t see it anyway. “Tomorrow is a big day. I always sleep bad then.” Especially when Daniel isn’t there. “Are you really considering moving to Norway?” “Yes. I mean it would be the obvious choice. I love Norway and I speak Norwegian good. Why wouldn’t I consider it?” The light gets turned off. Complete dark is surrounding me. “Because of us. I see how you are with Nika and Ema and with the boys. You would miss it. Maybe too much.”

Peter is as calm as always sitting in the room waiting for his final flight ever. I, on the other hand, cannot sit still. Lovro repeatedly shoots concerned looks at me. I clear my throat and stand up to get a water from the refrigerator. Just to get something in my hands to fidget. Normally in situations like this Daniel would hold my hand to get me to calm down or he would let me play with his hair. But he is not here so a water bottle must do. “Do you have a moment? Or do you want to focus on the second round?” I can’t help the small wince when Peter suddenly stands next to me and speaks up. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice that he followed me. “Outside?” I am already wearing my boots, there are not tied but it is still uncomfortable walking outside. Peter has the same problem, and we stop just a few meters away from the waiting area. “Is everything okay?”, he asks. A small chuckle comes from me. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Maybe because in one hour I will be the last active brother and all the pressure will rest on me. Maybe because I will feel alone next year because my team includes me because of him. Maybe because I can’t even witness his last jump properly. All good reason why I am not alright right now, but I will say none of them to my brother. This day is about him and his career. “Domen, I know you. Something is up.” “It is just that the one time I was wanting you to perform better than me you didn’t. It bugs me that I won’t witness your last jump with the rest of our family.” Instead of celebrating him I will have to concentrate on my own jump. Peter puts a hand on my shoulder. “I think it is kind of nice that you have beaten me so far today. Feels almost poetic like a handover. And we can celebrate together when you jump on the podium.” The problem is just that I can´t even concentrate on my jump and I won´t get on the podium. I lean against the railing and breathe deeply. “Next season, when I need something, will you pick up the phone? When the others don’t take me on their little trips exploring the city we are currently in? Or when I feel like I am not good enough?” “Oh Domen, of course. I am always just one phone call away. It doesn't matter if it is ski jumping or your personal life. You can count on me.” Without hesitation Peter wraps his arms around me and I do the same with him. “You can do this alone, Domen. I promise. Without me you will become even better.”

A little cough is interrupting us. We part and I look over my shoulder. Lovro is standing there with his skis already in his hands. “I am sorry, but we need to get going.” All three of us a practically jumping back-to-back at least. Just Stefan Kraft is parting Peter and me. I nod at Peter. “Let’s do this.”

Peter is the first to run into the outrun when I land. Apparently, he was in the middle of changing since he is running around without shoes or socks. On snow. “Are you crazy?”, I question when he pulls me into a hug. “You are crazier. A podium today is mental.” I look behind me at the screen and indeed I am first. Since there only two more jumpers left, I would be at least third. A grin is slowly appearing on my face, when I high five my other teammates. Even Timi came with his sling around his shoulder. “What about you guys?” I turn around to Pero and Lovro. “Nah right now it is your time to shine.” For about ten minutes until the podium is over. Then there will be the Peter Prevc show. I follow the other guys out of the outrun to give the poles time to celebrate. When I step through the gate my gaze immediately goes to Danny. He is standing next to the leader box with my sisters and Cene. A big smile is plastered on his face. Cene pats me on the shoulder when I step next to them. “Good job, Bro.” Without asking Daniel takes my skies. I shoot him a thankful smile. “Finally, I can see you on the podium as well.”, Ema states and hugs me from the side. I run my hand over her head and mess up her hair a bit. She dunks out of the embrace. “Forget that I was ever nice to you.” Nika takes her place and hugs me now. “That was a beautiful jump.” The best compliment I can get, so my smile widens even more. I look up to Daniel, Nika still in my arms. His raising his eyebrow at me. Slowly I nod. Right now, I am doing good.

During Peters goodbye celebration I am not doing super well, and I am so glad that I have sunglasses on my nose. Mina next to me is full on crying and I can’t blame her. They really went all out. Daniel was really right. How could I ever think that I would get through this day without crying? Ema, who is standing next to me, is clinging onto her flowers to give her hands something to do. Yesterday my bouquet went to Daniel but today my it was my little sisters turn. She is also in tears and Cene has an arm slung around her. The only person that is missing is Daniel. He didn’t want to get more attention on us than he needed today. That he was in the mixed zone again, was risky enough. Still, I would love to cling onto him now. Just a few weeks and we could do it. Then the hiding would be finally over.

Nika is grabbing my hand. “Is everything alright?”, she asks. Of course, it is Nika who is the most collected in this situation. “Not really. It finally sinks in now. How about you?” “Well as long as you don’t decide to retire and leave me in the near future, I am good.” She looks already so grown up and behaves even more like it than I am. It makes it easy to forget that she just turned 19. She is barely even an adult. With her big eyes she looks up to me. For her it was easier that Peter is leaving. Nika probably knew that she would spend the majority of her career without Peter in World cup. “Hopefully we get a few more shared world cups next season and mixed teams.” Jumping in a team competition with Nika would be a dream come true. A goal that I can still achieve if the FIS is rational and brings the mixed teams back. “And think about the all the mess we can make during training now that Peter can’t get mad at us anymore.” Slowly I raise my head and squeeze her hand. “You and shenanigans?”, I question after I swallowed hard. Maybe I would leave her in the near future. If I would live in Norway I would leave her. I haven’t spoken to her about the potential move. Damn. I am the same as Peter. We both don’t consulate the siblings that are most effected by our decisions. “Ok I would support you in your shenanigans.” My gaze wanders to Peter, who is standing in the middle of a dance number. A small smirk appears on my face. He probably didn’t imagen this when he decided to retire. I take a deep breath. “Nika, there is the possibility that I am not spending my whole career in Slovenia. You know that, right? At some point Danny and I want to move further in our relationship and a shared life is a part of that.” That at some point could mean this year is a conversation that doesn’t need to happen right now. Not when Peter has his grand moment. Nika opens her mouth and closes it again. Over her shoulder she looks into the direction of Daniel, who is watching the ceremony with his teammates still in the mixed zone. He made them wait so he could watch it without raising concerns. “But Daniel could come to Slovenia, right?” “He could but I could also move to Norway. That is something we need to discuss.” My little sister runs a hand through her locks. “I haven’t thought about that to be honest. I men I get it, but it would still suck.”

“When do we have to leave again?”, Daniel asks while snuggling into my bare chest. After the competition we went straight home to celebrate my podium. I would love to spend the whole day and night with my boyfriend in bed, but Peter has a gala planed for tonight. “In an hour or something like that.” Daniel grunts. “Couldn’t he plan the gala for tomorrow?” I run my hand through his beautiful blond hair. “You always say, you want to see me dressed up nicely. Now that you can, it is also not right?” My voice is teasing. My boyfriend hates the fact that I run around with my team wear basically the whole winter. In the summer it is different of course. But I don’t bring more stuff then necessary to competitions, so my private stuff stays at home. “You got me there.” Daniel raises his head from my chest and probs himself on his elbows to look at me. The sun is still out and shines into my bedroom. My flat isn’t as cozy as Daniels in Oslo. No comfy rugs, no plants, no warm wood. When I moved in, I thought it looked cool. Nowadays I miss the cosiness of his home. If he should move to Slovenia, I would let him redecorate my whole apartment. God, this decisions on who is going to leave is going to be so hard. I was set on leaving home but now I am not so sure anymore. “A penny for your thoughts?” Danny is putting a hand on my cheek to gain my attention and I lean into the touch. “The moving stuff is just on my mind. I talked to Nika and Peter the last couple of days and now it is getting harder and harder to think about leaving.” A wide grin appears on his face. “I knew it. You were too fast on calling that you could leave Slovenia. Honestly what were you thinking? You love your family so much and you would hate it, being so far away from them. Think about Oscar today. You were so in awe of him.” Peter and Mina put me at babysitting duty after the whole goodbye celebration. That means a lot of playing with my little nephews. Ludvik, Ema and I played a bit of catch and then I tried to make Oscar laugh for all the photos. It were a nice few moments.

I sit up a bit and lean against the headboard of the bed. “Peter said something, and I fear it might be true. He said I would miss my family too much. I can see what he meant there. On the other hand, I don’t want to force you to leave your family.” “You wouldn’t force me. I am offering it. Also, it is not like I am not seeing them again. Realistically speaking I would be back in Norway at least once a month. You know that I don’t spend that much time with them anyway, apart from Mom.” Slowly I open my mouth and close it again. He is right. Danny is close with his family, but they don’t see each other as often. They were more the face time family. You could do that from here. “You should sleep a few nights over it before you call it.”, I finally say. Daniel robs closer to me and put his hands onto my shoulders. “I already have but you need to sleep about it a few nights. I fear. And now I want a second round of whatever you did an hour ago.”

[stonedporcupine]

Past Due

My Ao3 acc is taking a while to come in so we gotta stay patient;

Warnings: some violence, action

Ch 1 Ch 2 - p. 1 Chapter 2 - Part 2 Ch 2 - p. 3 Ch 2 - p. 4 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

.- The Next Morning-.

Y/N´s PoV

The sun shining through my thin curtains wakes me up. Fuck, my back is killing me. I slowly get up from the couch as I roll my head around, checking how dense my neck feels. Couches are better than floors, I can´t complain about that. Plus, less space, less money they demand! I yawn stretching my arms over my head as I look over at the clock. 7am, spirits it´s not exactly early, but I can make it in time for class. I head over to the kitchenette and open the fridge. It´s practically empty ignoring the orange juice on the door, and a few apples. It´s not like I´ve got money for groceries…Spirits, do I need this Detective money. I take a sip from the juice straight from the bottle and grab an apple as I take a few bites. Placing the juice box back in the fridge door. I go back over to the sofa as I open the small window next to it while I shove the thin and tore curtains aside. I´ll never get tired of waking up to this. I think to myself as I continue eating my apple, looking out at the stunning rise of the sun. The early morning fog covering the low city, as skyscrapers tear up the clouds, standing high and proud. I can see part of the headquarters as well. Toph Beifong´s statue standing in the center of it all. I finish my apple throwing it out and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth, scrunching my hair a little and applying some perfume. I put on a black sports bra and over I put a dark red corset with shoulder straps, that comes down to my waist and, on my back, it goes down to my knees. A black belt tight on my waist and black baggy pants with a few red highlights on the sides. I put on my boots and grab my helmet as I take one last look at the clock. 7:45am perfect timing, I just might arrive early today! I smile to myself as I go down the elevator.

As I´m on the busy streets of the city I decide to take the emptier path, through Triple Threat Triad territory. Sure, it may be a little riskier but I´m a future Detective and what better way to check on your people then go where the danger is at. I slow down a little as the roads become a little narrower, full of little shops on each side. I take a moment to enjoy passing by all these different stores. Wait, what is that? I squint my eyes as I come to a full stop. I pull the visor of my helmet up and lower my right leg to the floor. As I look, I see what seems to be a girl in a water tribe getup, alongside a big white polar bear dog, confronting three other guys. Oh no, I know those three! They are Triple Threat Triads thugs. Shit. I have to go help her! But before I can start up my satocycle I see the guy in the middle get knocked back with ice encasing his head, stumbling around as he goes forward against her. I see the girl step back and high kick him straight in the head, sending him against their badly parked car and breaking the ice on his head. Oh shit?! I park my satocycle on the side as I take off my helmet and rush towards her. Only to see her- Earthbend?! She waterbended AND earthbended…No. She can´t possibly be. I see another Triple Threat Triad thug fly off, hitting a hanging power line, then awooden sign, followed by the tent hanging on top of a shop. The buoyancy of it throwing him forward as he tries to hang on to a large red flag only for it to rip as he falls on top of a cart of food. Smashing it as he finally falls to the floor. I run towards what seems to be the Avatar as I see the last Triple Threat Triad thug charge up a ball of fire on his hand. Not today pal. I quickly swipe the floor with my leg, fire coming off my foot throwing him off guard as he stumbles back, the fire in his hand shooting upwards towards the sky. Just as I am about to finish him off, the Avatar grabs his two hands as she swings him around ,as if they were dancing, and throws him with full might and strength against the glass of what seems to be a shop full of clocks, as some get knocked down by him. Spirits, this is going to get us in trouble. The thug is knocked out on the floor, shards of the broken glass all over the floor as I walk towards the Avatar. I look at her smirking as she speaks to the thug “Got an idea about who I am now, chumps?”. “Yeah, I don´t think he heard that…” I chuckle catching her attention. She quickly raises her hands, fire on her hands as I raise my arms in the air. “Woah woah! I´m not a Triple Threat Triad thug, I´m a Detective. Take it down Avatar. I did just help you back there.” Well technically I´m not a Detective…Yet! I laugh as I see embarrassment fill her face. “Oh, right…sorry! I´m Korra, the Avatar but I think you already know that…” she smiles at me a big smile. “I´m Y/n!” just as she´s about to speak, the Triple Threat Triad´s car speeds in our direction. “Look out!” I yell at her pulling us both away from its path, as the thugs help each other out, speeding away. I look over at Korra only to see her already running after the car, “You´re not getting away!” I hear her yell. I quickly run after her as I see her earthbend the car as it flies and rolls around in the air. Coming down to the ground and making a sharp turn to the right as it goes right inside a shop. Spirits the amount of damage this girl has caused already!

[intothegenshinworld]

give your moots a valentine's day ship?

✦ Ahh!! I was away when I got this ask but I’m still in time for Valentine's so it’s alright!! XD Thank you for sending this to me as well anon!! I’ve been seeing it a lot on my dashboard and it’s fun being included :D ✦ I’m totally taking this chance to interact more with my moots because I’m way too shy otherwise XDDD (ALSO!! If I missed anyone, I was afraid to tag you TuT I’m not sure who is or who isn’t my moot so lmk if you do consider me one!!!) ✦ Couldn´t make everything 'Valentine's day' themed so I gave ya´ll general tropes, hope that´s alright too!!!!

@zhongrin // Zhongli (Reincarnation AU)

Your first meeting isn’t your first meeting, you realize. For an immortal, it’s hard to fall in love with someone who is a mortal. But somehow you make all the pain worth it. He’d wait a thousand years just to see your smile again, and he’d wait a thousand more just to have you in his arms. ✦ You can’t help but fall in love with Zhongli over and over again. No matter his form, no matter the era, it’s as if fate tied you two together a long time ago. (I am so sorry, my mind has brainwashed me to ship you with Zhongli forevermore) 

@watatsumiis // Capitano (small sunshine & big gloomy)

The Fatui soldiers can’t help but wonder why you’re holding hands with the big intimidating Harbinger. You’re so friendly and welcome to everyone, and he’s… Y’know. But little do the people know how Capitano melts in your company. He loves listening to your rambles, your stories, and he loves holding you close. Please don’t break his heart!! He’s a bit awkward but he loves you so SO much!! He’s just unsure how to show it to you :(  ✦ The Fatui soldiers will notice Capitano’s feelings for you when they realize he’s much softer when you’re near. If someone messes up, they’ll choose to tell Capitano when you’re around as well, hoping the punishment will be less severe that way. (Capitano lifting general up WHEN??? <- the real content we're waiting for)

@cherry-froggie // Kaeya (childhood friends)

You’ve known each other for many years now. You were there when Kaeya’s world came crashing down, and you’re still here after everything. He’s a joy to be around, he tells you all his secrets and brings you with him on expeditions outside of Mondstadt so you can see the world with him. Recently your chest seems to grow tight whenever you spend time together. Could you be falling in love with him after all these years?! Funny enough, he’s loved you since the first time meeting you. ✦ Diluc knows. It’s one of those things he can’t stand about his brother. Those nights when Kaeya invites you to drink with him in Angel’s Share? Archons. Diluc can’t understand how you’re both so oblivious to each other's feelings. (So soft for KaeyaxCherry for some reason. Childhood friends is just the perfect amount of angst and trust for a Kaeya trope imo, BUT DW!!! Eventually you both realize you were meant to be together all along and it’d be so cute TUT)

@dustofthedailylife // Alhaitham (coffee shop AU)

It’s the exam period and you see a lot of students fill the spaces of your usual cafe. One day, a handsome guy from your school takes the empty seat across from you. He doesn’t ask for it either- he just… sits. But honesty, you can’t complain! You spend your time with him in silence, sketching his concentrated face (his frown is low-key adorable), before he abruptly stands up. You’re a bit confused, but the note he left behind has a clear message for you (and his number?!) ‘You’re good company. Call me when exams are over.’  ✦ You’re the only person Alhaitham would voluntarily spend his free time with. He’s not oblivious either, he notices the way you’d glace at him when he’s focused on his work. And while it’s distracting, he somehow doesn’t mind when it’s you who distracts him. (Mutual pining until Alhaitham figures out how he feels. Amazing 100k+ slow burn fic!!! Honestly so wholesome TuT)

[fllagellant]

OC asks 15, 34, 40 for Giilvas and Zezil, H for you?

YAAY of course :33

questions here !

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

Answered here for Zezil !

Giilvas is . Very much running his mouth . He thinks very little about what he is going to say unless it is Life or Death . He relies on the fact that he is Pretty Good at speaking and makes up for strangeness in his speech with being likeable upon first glance . He’ s also just . Generally pretty crass as well so he just says things and sees what happens !

Rarely will he be quiet if he thinks of something he wants to say or wants to bring something back up to finish his discussion . Also very much the guy that blurs out what he’ s thinking . Vocally very reactive

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Even with their .. commitment . To mourning . Zezil is rather skilled at dealing with and overcoming feelings of guilt , semi- in part due to their permanent ‘ in mourning ‘ thing . They need to be able to accept it and move forward , so they can mourn the right things for the right reasons , and not just because they feel bad …

Giilvas is best friends with guilt and will let it live in his home forever . If he is guilty , then he cannot forget why and for what reason . If he lets go of guilt , then it will happen again . It doesn’ t affect him too much , but it is always there .. just lingering

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

Zezil knows their flaws . Like well aware of what they are and how that affects their relationships ( distant , off putting enough for it to be verbalized , rather loose with ideals of good and bad , just as likely to make an empty promise as they are to fulfil it , known to put safety above the idea of self , etc etc ) but they also … don’ t really strive to change them too much . Like , they’ ve managed fine with this set of tools , and see very little reason in trying to change them to something “ better “ to be liked more , if that would be the outcome . You can point out any issue or flaw and they’ ll nod like yeah ! But I am fine with it .

Giilvas is .. he’ s aware of more surface level flaws , like being stubborn and being crass , but anything deeper he doesn’ t really register or see as flaw . He’ s not competitive with others it’ s just being friendly , he’ s not self isolating he just likes being alone , he’ s not violent he’ s just protective … like he sees them solely as good traits to have when they can and are seen as .. not the best .

H. What trait do you admire most?

Ohhh my beasties … for Giilvas . Hm . I think I admire his stubbornness , honesty ? Like . He is very much head-strong in what he wants and what he believes in , so he will constantly push for it and chase it and believe in it , even if he’ s being told no , or that it isn’ t worth it ..

For Zezil .. they are still developing but the trait I think will stick no matter what is their tranquility ? They are good at keeping calm and , by extent , keeping other a bit more calm . Also , they care little about what others may think or feel about them and their behaviours .. just very calm to the world ..

[duskwoodgirl4life]

⚠️Trigger warning contains alcohol and overdose ⚠️

Chapter 4

Later that night MC had gone home early. Jake had offered to take her home but she told him she would be fine. When MC got home she closed the door behind her and sank down to the floor. Every kind of emotion was rushing through her head not knowing what to do or think. MC got up off the floor and went and grabbed a bottle of vodka from her drinks cabinet.

Half way through the bottle MC picked up her phone and dialed Jake's number, stumbling about as the phone rang.

Jake: MC? Are you okay?

MC: You hss to come. walk. ibg into ,y life you and youe hottness, now I find out what happenEd tjat night. Why did you a ll have ti tell me? I was doing perfectly fine

Jake: MC are you drunk?

MC: UE. S!! I'be haad it with all of uouu I can't dO tgis annymore goodbyr Jake

Jake: MC!! NO!!!

MC dropped the phone to the ground and went into the bathroom, Jake could still hear her trying his best to get her attention. Nothing was working so he raced over to her apartment and kicked down the door. Jake went into the bathroom and found MC lying on the floor next to an empty bottle of pills. Jake pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed 999.

The ambulance soon arrived and they took MC to the hospital, they pumped her stomach and gave her something to help keep her comfortable. Jake sat by her bedside all night holding her hand not letting go for a second as he watched her sleeping.

The next morning Jake had fallen asleep with his head on the bed still holding MCs hand, MC started to wake up not knowing where she was. As she started to wake Jake's eyes opened sitting up he held onto her hand stroking her face.

MC: Jake? Where am I?

Jake: it's okay MC, your in the hospital

MC: What happened? I don't remember much

Jake: You called me last night in a pretty bad state, you dropped the phone on the floor. I could still hear you but nothing was working. So I rushed round and found you on the bathroom floor

MC: oh god, Jake I am so sorry I never meant to….

The tears started to fall. Jake sat next to her on the bed and just held onto her until she calmed down. Jake stayed with MC until she was allowed to go home but before she was allowed the doctor had set up some appointments to see a psychiatrist. Once that set up Jake took MC home.

MC: Jake? Can I ask you something?

Jake: sure, you can ask me anything

MC: can you stay with me for a little while I don't think I can handle being on my own just yet

Jake: sure, I can do that don't worry MC I'm always here for you

Jake and MC arrived back at her apartment luckily the door had been fixed, the apartment was a bit of a mess but at this point MC didn't care. Jake suggested ordering Chinese for dinner and watching a movie which MC jumped at.

Hannah's POV

What am I going to do? I can't risk everyone finding out what really happened, the accident was 10 years ago. The more I think about it the more part of me is glad MC found out the truth but the other part wished she never had found out.

I need to think of something and quickly I pull out my phone and send a text to Amy so we can come up with a plan. She agrees to meet up at the dare house, my mind is racing a million thoughts are running through my head.

I arrived at the dair house a little early. I think I have finally come up with a plan, I just need to run it past Amy and if she agrees maybe this whole mess will finally go away.

Amy: Hannah, are you okay? I am not okay with MC finding out

Hannah: I think I've got a plan we pretend to be the man without a face and kidnap MC

Amy: How are we going to do that? Jake is always with her these days

Hannah: I've thought of that while he's at work we grab MC on her way to work

Amy: But won't people see?

Hannah: Okay how about this, I've got a burner phone I can send Jake a text pretending to be MC. We ask him to meet up with us but we won't be there we will be getting MC

Amy: I like that plan a lot better

Hannah and Amy finished putting the finishing touches to their plan before they headed back home. They agreed to meet back up at the date house again tomorrow morning so they can go over the plan one more time.

The Chinese takeout had just arrived MC grabbed the plates while Jake took out the food from the bag. The movie was all set up so all the MC had to do was press play. They both sat back and enjoyed their food and the movie.

The next morning Hannah and Amy arrived back at the dair house and went over the plan one more time. The plan was set Hannah pulled out the burner phone and sent a text to Jake.

Hannah: hey Jake, can we meet up later there is something I would like to talk to you about MC xx

Jake: Hey MC, sure I can meet you after work around 4pm?

Hannah: That's perfect see you then

Hannah put the phone away and went to start the next part of the plan, Amy had been watching MCs apartment so she knew she would be in at this time. They both entered the building and went to MCs floor knocking on her door. She opened the door and was grabbed by both of them and a sack put over her head.

MC tried to fight to get out of their grasp but nothing worked, MC felt her body fall to the ground she was losing what little vision she had. When MC woke she was tied to a chair. She was in a dark room with only one candle as light.

She tried to break free but it was no use the rope was tied to tight, there was nothing she could do. The door started to open and in came Hannah and Amy still wearing their masks.

Amy pulled MCs head up and gave her some water, Hannah had pulled the burner phone to check the text from Jake. Hannah made a video call to him when he answered he was shocked to see MC had been taken.

Jake: MC!! Are you okay? Please say something I will get you out of there I will find you

Hannah: You think you can save her? Nothing and nobody will save her!

Jake: What have you done to her? Who are you?

Hannah: I am the man without a face your worst nightmare hahaha

Hannah ended the video call and put the phone back in her pocket, MC looked on with tears in her eyes knowing that she is trapped with nowhere to go.

[anncanta]

‘Sherlock’. Family is always difficult

I`d never thought I`d said this but here I am.

The third and fourth seasons of BBC`s Sherlock are underestimated and misunderstood.

I just re-watched them and you know what? It`s beautiful. Genius. So deep. So big. So tender.

But maybe I should start from the beginning.

When I watched the 1st and the 2nd series of Sherlock there were a great fandom and a lot of stuff around it already. So when I joined, it was kind of becoming a part of a family, if you understand what I mean. That was more than reading a text, in a sense. That was sharing of an experience. This had some good and bad sides, of course.

One of the bad sides was that we all had such young adult feelings about the series. And, therefore, our expectations about the coming seasons were.

That`s why, when the 3rd season was out we were so shocked and disappointed so much.

You see, when an adolescent watches a TV show, hears a song, or reads a book, he or she wants a standard. That`s a rule, and it`s quite normal. By the way, it`s normal for adults, too. But what is interesting, some texts, and their authors, as if knowing this, are tricking us.

Sherlock, from the very beginning, was – from the outside, at least, – a superhero story. It started with the meeting of the strange, beautiful, and strong man, and continued with showing him and his adventures, building up tension with every episode and story until it comes to Reichenbach. To the zenith.

That is exactly what the young adult audience needs. The hero, the standard, which can be its reference and its hope (‘I believe in Sherlock Holmes’). The sun in the zenith.

But what next?

Let me get distracted for some time, and remember one theory about Sherlock that I love very much and totally support.

This theory says that Sherlock is, actually, a solar hero, a hero who is an icon of a dying and resurrecting god. There are a lot of clues about this point in the text of a series, and it is a theme for another post. What we need to know right now, is that Sherlock is a story about a god.

That`s what the first two seasons showed us.

That`s what we were ready to.

To which we were not ready was the continuation.

Because the continuation turned out to be a story about a god and people.

It all started at the beginning of episode one of the 3rd season.

Sherlock returned. That was the main theme of the episode. That was the main theme of the season.

So we thought. And we were wrong.

I wouldn`t name now all the beautiful details of the first episode and explain them. I`ll just say that most of them are more a decoration than a center of the story because that`s what this story is about – the difference between decoration and reality, the thoughts and the sense, the farce and the actual drama.

You see, most of us thought that we were shown a story about the return of Sherlock. But we were shown the story about the alchemical furnace stopped.

Remember when John, after a long time going to Baker Street, comes into the living room? Remember the dust in the air when he opens the door? Remember that golden light and slowly dancing dust in the empty room?

It`s not dust. It`s ash. It`s ash in a cold, cooled-down furnace, which is empty now.

Baker Street. The place where the miracles are real because there is one certain Baker there. He uses his furnace to bake people, souls, and substances; the flame in the furnace is part of a great flame of creation. When this flame is gone, the magic leaves the world.

What we see in episode 1 of season 3, the most important thing, is the world without magic. The empty world.

And what could save this world is the empty hearse.

He, who left his hearse, returns and returns the flame with him.

And that`s the point.

Moffat and Gatiss, old alchemists, were not so stupid to show us the return of a superhero. They said, ‘It`s time to become an adult.’

What does the adult need?

The adult needs a partner.

There is an idea in Jungian psychology that God learns in a relationship with people as much as we do. I think that`s exactly what happens in the 3rd and 4th seasons of Sherlock.

It looks like the first and second seasons were kind of stories of the Old Testament and the third and fourth ones – the stories of the New Testament. The God of the Old Testament is the God of power. The God of the New Testament is the God of love.

Of course, it is all told in a complicated metaphorical way. But – in full and without any sentiments. Like, you know, I just realized that the 3rd and the 4th season are among other things about the Holmes brothers trying to pretend they are people. Well, they are successful even – for a while, until it is clear that such games have a very high cost for those very people they want to be with. It is what John`s reproach to Sherlock in the finale of episode 1 of the fourth season is about. That look, when Mary`s dead. It`s not about ‘you killed her’, it`s about ‘why haven`t you warned me that we are not immortal, like you?’. That`s it. He hasn`t. He forgot. The gods who try to be people forget.

But they learn, as Jungians believe and as Sherrinford proves.

And yes. I like Mary now.

But that is the theme for another post.

[ricecooka]

Newsletter 10/30

Today is the day before Halloween and honestly I´ve just been spending the whole day processing the last two days.

Yesterday was my last meet of the year, Districts. I forgot to take my inhaler before the race so I ended up in last place, it´s okay my girlfriend was there for me to cry on.

And the day before that, Friday. I went to a bubble tea shop and went shopping with my XC team.

The guy I like, Octagon, let´s call him. He bought me a Calico Critter play set. He said I didn´t even have to pay him back. I think I´m in love.

I´ve felt so empty today.

What was a big part of my life for two months is gone, for now.

I´ll be back next year but it will never quite be the same. I love my team, and I will be coming back for them next year.

I feel like I´ve been grieving.

Like I just lost someone.

But, this is good right? I can focus on other things now, get my grades together, join the drama department, try newer things.

I guess at my very core, I am simply afraid of change.

[iantoscoffee]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers <3 dw abt answering its okay if u dont feel like it btw <3

i’ m not sure i have so many but

one: i like philosophy. studying in general actually but because of my bad mental health and some incompetent teachers i had in high school i can barely focus for five minutes :,)

two: i absolutely love the 1700s, 1800s and 1900s clothing. the royal / high status families, the aristocracy, the working classes, the poor. everyone wore something that i simply find interesting and “aesthetically appealing”, wether it is a complex and super detailed dress for a ball or a ripped, ruined pair of shoes; probably it is because every piece of clothing has and tells a story, it is a piece of its owner and it differs so much from the present-day-overconsumption

three: i have a plushie since april 2019, it is a pastel blue koala with a pastel purple nose and its name is koya (i didn’ t come up with this name, koya is one of eight members of a plushies “group” known as bt21, each representing one member of the kpop group bts). whenever i had a difficult time at school or at home i hugged this plushie, especially when i couldn’ t speak or was triggered i felt safe with iy in my arms ++ i’ ll bring it with me when i’ ll leave tor uni (in about ten days)

four: i love my dog. he was gifted to me when i was nine years old and now - after ten years - he is still with me. he lives with my grandparents and my aunt took care of him most of the time (fuck high school, it ruined my teen years) but despite my absence i was still able to bond with him. i love him so much: he always jumps and wiggle his tail when he sees me, we go on walks together and he is always so calm when it’ s bath time. he might be just a dog but he was and is the only one who has ever been able to distract me from my family arguing twenty-four-seven and the realisation that i’ ll be over 1.200 kilometres from him (bc of uni) made me cry in the bus a last week (luckily for me the bus was almost empty)

five: finally the last one: i like the window in my bedroom. i have this window that is pretty big and when open i can go on the balcony. the front and right view are some old houses but the view on the lett is the street and the sky — a beautiful sky, which is probably one of the few things i’ ll miss the most. no matter if it is winter, spring, summer or autumn the sky is always breathtaking. in the night the bedroom is almost pitch black, slowly the darkness turns into a light blue and i can see the dawn, then just before the sunset the sky is either a plain celeste that despite being common has always me holding my breath but if i am lucky the next day the sky is a colourful palette: light blue, pastel pink and orange or even pink and pastel purple and let’ s not forget that at dawn and early morning i can hear the birds chipping. i love that window, it is almost like a door to the sky.

bonus: a few pictures

first: me, trying to replicate the various styles i love. second: my dog, the most precious soul in the entire universe. three: my emotional support plushie (i took the pic now, at two am). four: my bedroom window

[cookiejarsandbrokenhearts]

My ????!!?!?? Therapy - Last Minute

I think about that night, more than you can imagine, for the first time we were together, alone. I wish I you had told me how you felt, I could have looked back in those moonlight eyes of yours and told you, Well, there′s no going back, this is the pride before the fall.

I have always liked those cheesy movies, and I have always hoped that my life might be an iridescent reflection of the couple that dances in the downpour, with only their love flowing within their veins. I would have taken you by your hand with The rain drops on our back, tonight we're dancing in a storm

I think about that night, when it was just us and if I knew you had hid tears in your eyes and the truth in your heart, I would have told you that I’d stay and that I′ll be the one that will make you smile. That I will be beside you and hold you in my arms, away from the footsteps, despair, dust of old memories, and we'll Collapse in the darkness as we wait for a while. 

Honestly I should have waited, that you meant more to me that the time I’d lose. All I cared about was For you to get better so tell me now. Just tell me, and I will listen, tell me everything, all of the remembrance you keep in the box beneath your bed, the rage that you hold in your palms, tell me, All the breakdowns you've restrained.

Well, Oh no I ruined my life again, I guess this is my fate, to repeat the mistakes that make up who I am till none remain. I’d hoped you would have changed me, but who am I kidding, I know the miserable mess I am. For someone so broken, I didn't think I could have this much pride and I won't lie, won′t admit I am broken.

And For the weirdest reason I have just been thinking about you so much these past few days. It was probably because I saw you again for the first time in a while. Seeing you, everything came back to me, and I knew it as This feeling I can't resent. I know I may not have the privilege of loving you in this life, but grant me the hope that it may not be written in stone. At the end of the day, It's your call, I'm right here, just standing by.

When will you ever learn that, no matter how much love you give, Everything is wrong, you're not enough to save it all. So do it all for you, but you would tell me that there is no such thing as reasonable selflessness.

Well, here we go, I will spend this life of mine, counting the Skylights on New York Rooftops, The stars under the skies of Khatib, the number of cans Deanna has left, the cigarettes I have lit in honor of Renjin, and the tears stained in sorrow of Katherine. I will welcome death’s embrace and tell her all about the sorrow within the beauty that I have seen in your eyes. 

You live life like a fantasy, All the stupid horoscopes keep telling me. If you ever asked me why I try to achieve so much, the answer will always be to give you that. Isn't so pathetic, that I come up with insane business plans, commit tax fraud, take all of the disrespect,  have a will to live, just so that I might be able to give you the life that you deserve one day, so that I may be the one to see you for who you are and love you anyway?

Won't it be such a waste? To try so hard, that the only thing that pushes you is something that doesn't exist? Sometimes in my heart, I know no matter how hard I hold on, no matter how many moments I get from the sidelines, I know I'll never live to see the end. So many have tried to prescribe me God, they tell me that theres a plan, but where was he when I begged for hope, when I only knew nothing but the blood held within the jeans I tore that summer night, so tell me how can I believe that God sent me to a world of mistakes. 

And before I go ahead and do it all over again, I think about what Renjin tells me, that all of this, the carpark rooftops, the empty badminton courts and the laughter that I don't hear anymore, it was all meant for me, 

because, as he would put it, 

This is my fucking therapy

[yhwhrulz]

Morning and Evening with A.W. Tozer Devotional for July 9

Tozer in the Morning BEYOND EMPTY PROFESSION

Preaching from the pulpit about the Christian "deeper life" does not automatically produce a deeper life church and congregation. The profession of men and women that they believe in "the deeper Christian life" is no assurance that their fellowship is actually a deeper life church. The deeper spiritual life many people say they want is not a message; it is not a sermon; it is not a profession. I am a pastor and I think I major in telling the truth. It is true that it is about time we stop coddling and apologizing for congregations that have reputations for being deeper life churches. The deeper spiritual life is not something just to be talked about - it is a quiet enjoyment of daily blessing and peace and victory that is lived day by day; beyond empty profession and without any two-faced circumstances!

Tozer in the Evening God Encounter

It is fear of falling into the hands of God that makes us so eager to get things reduced to a formula. We feel that if we can learn the ?secret? of salvation or the ?steps? into the blessed life, we can control our future and (though we would not admit it) control God Himself to a large degree. This saves face and preserves our self-confidence, but it also mutes the voice of power in the gospel and weakens the operations of God in the soul. Only the despairing heart can know the inward witness.

In the final analysis, no one can lead another to God. All he can do is to lead the inquirer to the door of the kingdom and urge him onward. Between God and the returning soul there is a zone of obscurity through which he cannot see. It is the light that no man can approach unto and past which no one can go on his feet or by means of reason or theological knowledge. There faith must make its leap of pure trust into the arms of God crying with Job, ?Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him? (Job 13:15), or with Newton, ?O Lord, I trust in Thee completely, and if I go to hell I?ll go down standing on Thy Word.?

It is this utter desperation that brings the witness, and yet I cannot tell anyone how to reach such a state. All I can do is to urge everyone to repent and believe on Jesus Christ. If the repentance is genuine and the faith real, all human confidence will come crashing down and the humbled soul will be forced to make its leap of faith alone.

The reader that cannot find his way from here is in all probability still impenitent. And let him beware of seeking cheap comfort from a text jockey who will cry ? `Peace, peace,?. . . when there is no peace? (Jeremiah 6:14). He had better by far take his Bible and retire to the secret place to seek God alone. If there?s hope for him, he?ll find it there. But he?ll find it nowhere else.

Copyright Statement This material is considered in the public domain.

[yhwhrulz777]

Morning and Evening with A.W. Tozer Devotional: July 9th

Tozer in the Morning BEYOND EMPTY PROFESSION

Preaching from the pulpit about the Christian "deeper life" does not automatically produce a deeper life church and congregation. The profession of men and women that they believe in "the deeper Christian life" is no assurance that their fellowship is actually a deeper life church. The deeper spiritual life many people say they want is not a message; it is not a sermon; it is not a profession. I am a pastor and I think I major in telling the truth. It is true that it is about time we stop coddling and apologizing for congregations that have reputations for being deeper life churches. The deeper spiritual life is not something just to be talked about - it is a quiet enjoyment of daily blessing and peace and victory that is lived day by day; beyond empty profession and without any two-faced circumstances!

Tozer in the Evening God Encounter

It is fear of falling into the hands of God that makes us so eager to get things reduced to a formula. We feel that if we can learn the ?secret? of salvation or the ?steps? into the blessed life, we can control our future and (though we would not admit it) control God Himself to a large degree. This saves face and preserves our self-confidence, but it also mutes the voice of power in the gospel and weakens the operations of God in the soul. Only the despairing heart can know the inward witness.

In the final analysis, no one can lead another to God. All he can do is to lead the inquirer to the door of the kingdom and urge him onward. Between God and the returning soul there is a zone of obscurity through which he cannot see. It is the light that no man can approach unto and past which no one can go on his feet or by means of reason or theological knowledge. There faith must make its leap of pure trust into the arms of God crying with Job, ?Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him? (Job 13:15), or with Newton, ?O Lord, I trust in Thee completely, and if I go to hell I?ll go down standing on Thy Word.?

It is this utter desperation that brings the witness, and yet I cannot tell anyone how to reach such a state. All I can do is to urge everyone to repent and believe on Jesus Christ. If the repentance is genuine and the faith real, all human confidence will come crashing down and the humbled soul will be forced to make its leap of faith alone.

The reader that cannot find his way from here is in all probability still impenitent. And let him beware of seeking cheap comfort from a text jockey who will cry ? `Peace, peace,?. . . when there is no peace? (Jeremiah 6:14). He had better by far take his Bible and retire to the secret place to seek God alone. If there?s hope for him, he?ll find it there. But he?ll find it nowhere else.

Copyright Statement This material is considered in the public domain.