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hospitalterrorizer · 19 days

Text

diary350

9/4-5/24

wednesday - thursday

listening to dna on dna.

it's been forever since i've heard this.

or i guess right now i'm going through tracks cuz i've gotta go to bed soon, but here's one:

youtube

very fun music, to me, i remember this blowing my head off in hs, and doing a bunch of fucked up acoustic guitar recordings, and since i wasn't and still am not very good at guitar (though much better now ofc, i can play write songs on guitar now...), i'd just thrash it, scrape the strings a ton, it sucked kinda because i had no good way to play amplified, so i was trying to do this sort of thing, just unable, now i can kinda get there on the computer but arto lindsay does a lot of things that are just impossible through synths, and that's okay cuz his super rhythmic method on a lot of these songs isn't exactly what i'm interested in though i should keep it in mind, some of his ideas, i use some of the stuff he does with modulating picking speed in very intentional ways in my playing, plus thinking up strange rhythms and doing totally atonal moves could be good, or idk, i already seek out lots of atonality, i think. but it's still fun. really i should see if there's any tabs for any of this, and try and learn from that as well.

here's something i was looking at today, from those old mag scans i found on that forum:

from vogue japan... just really love these. i would really like to be 'like that', whatever that means... to anyone... to me it just means being cute and stuff i guess. and also looking kind of freaky. freaky meaning... aloof i guess, and scary because of being skinny and that making you seem colder naturally. i guess. i like being cold + cute.

tonight i was reading some of marie calloway's book, i'm on the story about tao lin, where he is renamed 'jeremy lin'. it's hard to put how her stuff makes me feel into words. a strange feeling. digesting words, not getting words out, just some silent feeling, stuck inside, a marble beating on a diaphragm, producing sound, but never getting loose, going elsewhere. that's a good way to put it, the marble, transparent and shining, reforming the world through the glass as well. she is a good writer, and is good at, at least seemingly, putting her thoughts down, her insights about the ways certain people will/can be, that kind of thing. particularly men.

i did work on the soundtrack today, as well, got another little tiny scene down, tomorrow i would like to get one more out and then send that over, then get to work on the rest if i can get roughly the first half of music down, i'll be happy.

i also worked on my own music tonight a bit, one song, i just didn't like the drumming on part of it, so i messed with it, i want it to be a bit more... odd, i guess, the drumming i had down was stompy in this way i began finding very unpleasant, it was like... too nine inch nails almost? i dunno. not that it really was but it felt like too much. what i have now is looser feeling, which is definitely the direction i want it to go even if this isn't the final idea for the drums, but i need to wait a day or so to go back and listen to see if this is really what i want/need.

i really like how annoying and stupid craig kureck is on drums on arab on radar, i would really like to get some of that sloppy nonsense drumming down, more. plus the wonky rushing disco sound of some other songs i like.

youtube

i found something funny, i looked up craig's name on google, found a blog that reviewed their album soak the saddle 9 years ago or so, and found that since then, this person has been writing poetry on this blog, might be worth flipping through more but here's a funny one:

forget society when there's universe.

what a strange person. hope they are well.

today was stressful, it was errand day, next week we'll be seeing her mom twice to stock up on stuff, we'll go to sam's club... i wanna get the food court pizza... it's so yummy, to an idiot like me.

i also wrote today, somehow errands day is so stressful it always makes me write, never writing that is good for my longer narrative work, although i did some of that earlier today actually, i thought of something that might happen in an exchange. it's interesting how a scene can expand, i wonder if there's some way i can get at the non-time in writing, i guess if i catalog each detail which comes to me, that sounds interesting in some way, i'd also like to reach a point where it doesn't feel narrative. it's not that i want to get away from narrative work... i keep thinking about abstract stuff, what they can do, the abstractions in say early games, early film, i'm interested in getting at that in my writing, which i something i get to do w/ the poetry/freakproseassemblage stuff i do on days like this but i'd like to go there in 'stories', make them... it's like how life feels, to me, it's less joined, so there's these visions we have, of waking motion, of waking life modulated by the past, far off fantasies, desire, failure, all this is lancing us all at once, we do not travel through it, so much as, it's pain, i guess, so that pain of living, it's an expansion of everything, expanding to the next moment, a contraction here or there, it's a stumble, so i would like for my writing to have more of that inside of it. sometimes i am there, i do like expansion/contraction as a method, it expands into poetics, maybe, i wonder how i could make it fall apart different though.

would you believe me if i say that this has something to do with pac man and dig dug?

what is any of what's on the screen here, really, it's so strange, that and its soundscape... it's all inspiring to me.

i have to sleep now, though,

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Youtube

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buttercookiesncream · 1 year

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September 06,2023

Hi, It's me again, muli akong sumusulat sa nag iisang takbuhan pag wala na akong makausap at mapag kwentuhan. Today I'm writing habang inaatake ako ng anxiety.

I'm currently on work. 7:00 am ang duty ko, pero past 08:00 am na iyong utak ko nilalamon ng kung ano ano. We're currently working from home kaya hindi nila nakikita kung ano ang ginagawa namin, we can eat, lying on bed, watch movies or kdramas. on duty ako pero ito, nagpapatugtog ng high volume music ng Maroon 5 na kantang Won't Go Home without you lol.

for the past few months, naguguluhan ako kung tama ba ang ginagawa ko. nag rerelapse ako sa mga pangyayareng ayaw ko na pero binabalik ako ulit. nalalabanan ko siya pero may times na malulugmok at iiyak na lang ako talaga.

especially today, ang sakit ng dibdib ko. akala ko sa coffee lang na iniinom ko kahapon kaya hindi ako uminom ng coffee pero nag try akong huwag uminom pero iyong sakit ng dibdib ko nandito parin, so inshort hindi ako nag papalpitate, mabigat iyong dibdib ko for the past few weeks, months days and years.

Aminado ako, hindi heal iyong inner child ko, at hindi ko alam sino ba dapat iyong sisihin ko sarili ko ba insecurities ko or iyong environment ko.

At first my father died before I graduated elementary, at before he left, ang sabi pa niya sakin, hintayin ko siya dahil sabay kaming magpapahinga, pero ilang years na ang nakalipas hindi parin niya ako binalikan pero tuluyan na siyang nagpahinga. ang sakit kasi at my very young age, nakita ko siyang umuuwi ng lasing at kahit mabaho at amoy alak siya, kasama at katabi ko siyang matulog. but after niya mawala, all of that memories at pahingahan ko nawala rin. is that a reason na hinihintay ko siyang bumalik kasi alam kong siya pahingahan ko pero alam kong hindi na siya babalik kaya hindi ko na alam ang salitang pahinga? Papa's girl ako. kaya kahit umiihi na siya dahil sa kalasingan niya nandon parin ako, katabi niya. years have passed wala akong kinausap about don. maski iyong mga kasama kong naiwanan. pero habang tumatanda ako at nakaka kita ako ng complete family nakikita ko kung gaano sila kasaya, habang ako naiinggit kung anong feeling na may sasalubong sakin umuwi. kasi iyong pahinga ko umalis na, nagpahinga na sa malayong lugar. :)

Hindi naman ako totally naiwanan, may nanay at ate pa ako na mas ahead sakin. pero totoo nga iyong sinasabi nila everybody moves on ako na lang siguro itong kumakapit sa memories, hindi ko alam kung ano iyong sakit na pinag daanan nila pero alam ko na may napag kwentuhan sila, since dati pa close talaga sila. kung mabasa nila itong vlog kong ito, ang sasabihin nila ang drama ko pero gusto ko ng matapos iyong sakit na ito.

My Mom found a new lover, against ako to be honest, kasi alam ko nung nandyan si papa may iba na siya, dahil nung kami pa lang ang nandito natuto na siyang mag sinungaling kaya may trust issue ako dahil sa kanila din ito nag simula, sa environment ko mismo, sumaya ako ulit nung nagkababy sister ako. nag aaway kami pero super love ko siya. kaso may attitude din siya talaga hahaha.

so fast forward hindi sila nag work kaya months or years later may bago ulit si mama, nagkaka edad na ako at nakakaramdam na ako ng kakaiba, hiniling ko sa kanya na huwag na ulit mag focus na lang siya sa bunso naming kapatid pero ang reason niya iiwan din daw namin siya pag nag asawa kami.

narealize ko kung tama ba iyong reason niya? kasi ilang beses kong nilaban iyong paniniwala ko, na baka pwedeng kami muna pero mas gusto niyang siya na lang muna.

ending, inuna niya iyong siya na lang muna laban sa amin. pag hindi sila okay, magagalit siya. mababadtrip siya, magkakasakit siya so kaming mga anak niya, mag aalala since nanay namin siya need namin mag alala.

paulit ulit iyong ganong scenario, hanggang hindi na healthy iyong relationship ko sa family, dahil kung ako ang tatanungin mo? hindi ko na alam kung anong memories iyong nakasama ko siya na sobrang saya ko. I'm 25 years old already pero uhaw ako sa attention magmula kay mama, hindi ko na matandaan kung kailan kami huling nag uusap ng hindi kami nag aaway. dahil ang kailangan malakas ako pag nag aaway sila ni ate, kailangan middleman ako. pero napapagod din ako, naiinggit ako sa relationship na meron si mama sa partner niya, aware siya sa ginagawa ng partner niya pero never siyang nagtanong kung kamusta naman kaming tatlo na mga kapatid ko :)

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deanaddicted2 · 3 years

Text

Ride - Dean x Y/N

Soooo this is my first fic. I wrote this a couple months ago when I was bored out of my mind and I was listening to 67 (Winchester) by Reyna Roberts.

All mistakes are my own. I do not own the characters or the song, they are simply my inspiration.

Read Part 2

Pairing: Dean x Y/N

Warning: sexual inuendos, pre-smut, Dean being a total goof

A/N: I am thinking of doing a part 2 to this. Let me know what ya think :)

Dean Winchester was not the easiest person to buy for. You could only buy him so many porno mags and guns before it got weird. No, it was his 40th birthday in a couple of days and you wanted to do something special for him. Something that would bring a smile to his face. You and Sam noticed that he had been moping around the bunker for the last week, mumbling under his breath about how old he was going to be. You knew that he hated that his body didn't ‘work’ the same as it did 20 even 10 years ago, and although you liked teasing him, calling him old man once in a while, you felt for him. You were all getting older, so you sympathized.

You sat on the floor of your old bedroom, abandoned after moving into Dean’s, guitar in your hand and papers scattered around you. The door was shut in hopes of keeping the birthday boy oblivious to what you were up too. It wasn’t uncommon for you to be in here like this. You loved writing music, but you didn’t like to share this talent with the boys, your songs never being perfect enough for the ears of others. But this was different.

You wanted this to be perfect. So there you sat, trying to figure out how to describe your perfect boyfriend in well, the perfect way.

You had worked out the chorus pretty fast, the idea hitting you a couple of days prior. You and Dean were in the bunker’s garage, giving the cars a clean when you noticed some of the water had soaked his shirt, making it cling to his chest. You bit your lip at the sight, thanking Chuck for the beauty standing in front of you. Dean, entranced by his Baby, was muttering confessions of love to his car.

“There you go, you look as sexy as ever! That’s my baby.” You chuckled lightly

“She’s not the only one,” You said to yourself. And that's when it hit you.

Back in your room, you shake your head lightly at the memory, cheeks burning slightly.

“I like your 67 chevy ride, tell me will you let me drive it all night,

Or sit me on the passenger side? Yeah what a sight!

‘Cause you're as sexy as that 67, mmm! and I’m looking for a ride!” You sang quietly, strumming your guitar to give you the tune.

You giggle at the amount of sexual innuendos already in the song. But with you and Dean, you wouldn't expect anything different. You already had most of the song done, only a couple of lines left to polish. You were hoping you would get away with a couple more hours before curiosity dragged the cats to you.

Quickly you got back to work.

---------------------Dean’s POV--------------------

Sitting in the war room, on his phone, he scrolls through the news, seeing if anything odd was popping up, looking for a case. With his big birthday just around the corner, he needed a confidence booster. He let out a sigh and continues reading.

Dean hears the door slam and Sam walks in carrying some grocery bags.

“Pie?”

“Pie...” he stated

“Yes!” he says, giving his brother a thumbs up. “You’re the best!” pointing at him.

Sam rolls his eyes and places the grocery bags on the table in front of him.

“Why is it so quiet in here? Where’s Y/N?” Sam asks looking around.

“She locked herself in her old room, said she had inspiration for a song and she needed total “alone time” to write. No interruptions. I love her man but it's been like 5 hours. And of course we won't even hear what she's writing because she’s Y/N. It’s never perfect.” He whines to his brother who gives him an annoyed yet sympathetic look.

“Dude you know how she gets, if she’s in the zone and you get in her way, she will hit you, hard. Personally, not how I plan on going out.” He puts his hands up in defense. “I try staying clear of her like that, she’s kinda scary.” He chuckles.

Dean let out a laugh, agreeing with the last statement. He and Sam had fought the scariest of monsters, gods, demons, and things that go bump in the night, but Y/N, angry, was the scariest of all.

“I’m gonna start cooking dinner, it shouldn’t take too long. I’m just throwing a pizza in, you should go drag her out of there to eat, Chuck knows when she ate last.” Sam suggested.

He doesn't hesitate to get up. You're more likely to get away from your music, peacefully, if food is involved, and he missed your pretty face.

He makes his way down the hallway to your old room. As he approaches he hears your guitar strumming and he stills, trying to listen. He loved this, when you were playing and had no idea he was listening. He loved your music and your voice, he could listen to you sing all day.

“He’s pretty as a lie, but he got the devil in his eyes

I wanna know your name, and tell me the secrets you hide.

And god is my witness, you gon get me in trouble,

But I kinda like it, Ain’t no point in fightin’.

You got them blue-jean covered thighs,

Leather-jacket collar-high - hoo baby.

Texas sunlit eyes, and the maple whiskey sighs

I’m gone.”

He steps closer to the door, seeing it open a crack. You are sitting on the ground strumming away lost in the moment.

“I like your 67 chevy ride, tell me will you let me drive it all night,

Or sit me on the passenger side? Yeah what a sight!

‘Cause you're as sexy as that 67, mmm! and I’m looking for a ride!”

He takes a breath. The song’s about him. You wrote a song about him. Intrigued, he leans into the door, accidentally pushing it open.

------------------------Y/N POV--------------------------

You had finally finished the song and were singing it through to see how it flowed. As you finished the first chorus you heard the door creak and jumped at the sound turning to find its origin.

You see Dean standing in the doorframe with the biggest grin on his face.

“Is that about me? Did you write a song about me?” Dean asked giddy, stepping into the room toward your creativity nest.

You sigh, “it was supposed to be your birthday gift you little shit. Why must you be so curious sir?” you shake your head and look down at your pages.

“Y/N it's amazing, please finish the song, I wanna hear the rest of it.” he looks at you with the same damn puppy eyes that Sam has, and you realised he must have learned it from his older brother.

“Dean I…. fine I guess because it is your birthday gift.” You pat the floor next to you and he happily sits down and puts a kiss on your temple. “You may listen but shush as I play.” you stay sternly

“Yes mam.” He salutes you.

You roll your eyes and turn your head back to your pages, beginning again.

“I love that Zeppelin Rock and Roll,

And for a night with you I'll trade my soul. This is getting dangerous,

And I haven't had enough of it.

I like that pendant round your neck and that tattoo on your chest,

With that five o’clock shadow.

Let’s put this engine to the test, travel on, travel west, and get going again.”

“I like your 67 chevy ride, tell me will you let me drive it all night,

Or sit me on the passenger side? Yeah what a sight!

‘Cause you're as sexy as that 67, mmm! and I’m looking for a ride!”

“They don’t make em like you anymore,

Winchester wild.

You are the Wayward son, oh Sweet Child.

Ohhh Winchester Wild.

Ohh ohh ohh!”

“I like your 67 chevy ride, tell me will you let me drive it all night,

Or sit me on the passenger side? Yeah what a sight!

‘Cause you're as sexy as that 67, mmm! and I’m looking for a ride!”

Your strumming came to a slow stop as you finished your song.

Your eyes met Dean’s who was looking at you with such intensity it made you shiver. He seemed lost in something. You? The song? You weren't sure.

“So what do you think?” you ask, a little worried.

“I love you so much! That was amazing! You actually wrote that! What the fuck Y/N?” He yells/says to you grabbing your face between his hands, staring into your eyes. No one had ever spent this much time on him, for him.

“You are my muse Dean Winchester, what can I say?” you giggle at him blushing under his intense stare.

Suddenly he grabs your guitar and sets it on the floor next to him. He stands up at lightning speed and grabs your hand pulling you up with him. He starts dragging you out of the room and down the hallway. You pass the library, Sam’s room and are headed to the end of the hall.

“Dean what are you…” You start but are cut off by Sam appearing in a side hallway.

“Hey, are you guys gonna come eat or what?” He asks slightly confused at what he was seeing in front of him.

“Nope,” Dean says walking towards your shared room, “Y/N’s got some riding to do.” He winks at Sam before pushing you into the room and slamming the door shut.

#dean winchester smut #dean winchester #supernatural #jensen ackles #sam winchester #spnfamily #dean x reader #ride #chevy impala #reyna roberts #spn fic #fanfic

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leah-bobeea · 3 years

Text

Magazine Girl; Steve Rogers

You ever start writing a fic about a journalist reader at two am who’s eventually gonna end up doing steeb, over his desk, biting down on his expensive leather belt?

❀ ❀ ❀

Warnings: CEO!Steve x Journalist!Reader, Angst, Steve’s a little mean, Bossy Steve, Shy/Anxious reader, Dom!steve, mentions spanking, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, coercion (a little teensy bit), Bad writing lol

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: Terrible writing w/ a terribly rushed ending. Written on my phone, in my notes app, not beta read, and barely proofread.

❀ ❀ ❀

Yes, your hands were busy. Not busy typing out a rough draft of this stupid article on Steve Rogers, not busy calling his secretary to set up a meeting with the man, or the closest to him you could get, not busy doing their job at all. They were busy tapping your pen against the glass tabletop of your desk, successfully annoying Wanda, who sent you an aggravated look from across the room.

“Seriously, Y/n?” Wanda moved from where she was at her desk, clearly not making a breakthrough on her article for this month's issue either. You could only shake your head in reply. Throwing your head back to stare at the ceiling, you starting explaining. “Maria gave me this huge article, Wanda. Cover! And, trust me, I know she’s testing me and doesn’t think I’ll actually be able to do it so she can fire me, or belittle me, or- or something! I don’t know what to do, help me, bestie.” As you finished rambling you looked up at her with your best puppy dog eyes, hoping for some of that amazing advice she gives.

Wanda laughed and pulled a chair over from an empty desk, sitting down and haphazardly throwing her feet on top of your cluttered tabletop. “She wouldn’t give you an article you couldn’t handle, she loves you, Y/n. If it’s truly as difficult as you’re making it out as that means that she knows you’re ready for it, and you’ll do amazing. Who’s it on anyway?”

She was doing such a good job at easing your nerves until she brought up the topic. You whined high in your throat and threw your head to the side before uttering, “Steven Rogers,” you turned your body back to Wanda, “What more do I need to say?” Her eyes widened just a little. “Sheesh...I’d start making phone calls, and praying, maybe?”

❀ ❀ ❀

“Hello, Miss. Carter, um- this is Y/n L/n with Shield Mag-“ “Please hold, dear.”

You pulled the phone away from your head and let it rest on your naked thigh, quickly pressing the speaker button. It was times like this when you were grateful that you let your grandma convince you to buy a house phone. Peggy Carter was the fifth person you’d contacted trying to get an interview with this man and she was the second lady that humored you enough to at least pretend like she’d get back to you.

She’s his main assistant so you might have better luck this time...

Thirty minutes later you had your head inches off the ground and your toes wiggling in the air. Humming the annoying hold music to yourself, you braided, unbraided, and re-braided a single strand of your hair. At thirty-nine minutes you were ready to give up until you heard a click on the other line.

You scrambled to turn off the speaker and press the phone back to your ear.

“Miss. Carter I was hoping to set up an interview with Mr. Rogers, over the phone, in person, or through email, if that’s possible?” You asked, hopeful that she wouldn’t shoot you down immediately like everyone else.

“Well, Magazine Girl, I only do in person. But I am a very busy man, so I need to know right away, what’s in it for me?” Your breath hitched and you almost fell and cracked your head open from how startled hearing his voice made you. Then, you nearly gave yourself a head rush from how fast you sat up.

“Well, um, Sir, you would get a headlining article, and uh, a cover on the June issue of Shield Magazine. That’s um, that’s if you want a cover- you don’t have to be on the cover if you don’t want to, just the interview would be mentioned on the cover, but-“ His chuckle was gritty and vivid, effective in stopping your babble. “I’ll see you Friday around noon. Goodbye Magazine Girl.” He hung up on you before you could even comprehend anything but that captivating laugh.

You rubbed at your eyes and grabbed your planner and pen. “Friday at noon...”

❀ ❀ ❀

The next day you were back in the office, sitting in Wanda’s stiff chair with twin caramel lattes sitting in front of you. That was the thing about you, you’d come to work early bearing gifts just to tell your closest friend your good news. You’re sweet like that.

When Wanda arrived it was fifteen minutes later and your latte was halfway gone. Hearing her black stilettos click on the glossy linoleum made you perk up immediately. As she approached, you stood, handing her the latte and wrapping your arms around her lithe body.

“I got an interview!” You squealed, rocking your bodies side to side. She stilled you and smiled. “Gosh, that’s great, Y/n. How’d you get it?”

“Well, I called, like everyone, and he picked up, Wanda! he picked up! I’m scheduled for Friday, and my Lord, Wanda, his laugh, it's like honey...” You trailed off, sighing at the thought of him. Your head was rested on her shoulder, a faint smile on your face. “You’ve got a crush on him!” Wanda exclaimed, grabbing your shoulders and holding you an arm's length away to get a good look at your bashful face.

You gasped, “No I do not! That would be totally unprofessional!” The cackle that erupted from her made her sound like the wicked witch of the west. And honestly, under her stare, you felt like Dorothy stuck under that house.

When Wanda was finally done laughing maliciously she let you go, plopping down in her desk chair and sipping her latte. She pointed over and your desk and gave you a look. “Better start drafting those questions... we wouldn’t want you to blank on your crush.” “Wanda!”

❀ ❀ ❀

The days leading up to Friday were excruciatingly long, yet the hours until twelve flew past all too quickly.

It seemed as if your wardrobe was never ending, full of clothes that you deemed inappropriate for a meeting with the CEO of American Enterprises. You threw yourself back onto the bed, hair and makeup done but body still wrapped in a fluffy white towel. “Oh Milky, what am I gonna wear?” The soft white kitty glared at you from the pillow she was perched on, meowing at you aggressively.

Ten thirty blinked on the clock and you sat up, glancing at all of the clothes that were scattered on the floor. “I guess this will do.” You picked up the same emerald blazer you had chosen originally and layered it over some basic Levi’s, and gray low cut blouse flowing over your form. A belt was necessary, so you grazed over your options. Brown wouldn’t go, even though it was your only fancy belt. The only black one you had was old, the leather cracked and worn, but it had to do. You slipped on some pretty black heels, lucky that you painted your toes a similar color to your blouse. After accessorizing you sprayed your signature perfume, the one that got you your first college-aged boyfriend, and the same one that you were wearing when you got your first real job.

By the time you were on the Metro, it was eleven o’ six, and you were worried. If you were late you’d lose this chance, and probably your job. The car stopped around eleven fifteen, giving you fifteen minutes to make your way to the building, check-in, and try to not seem so nervous.

Finding the building wasn’t difficult at all, after all, it is the second biggest building in New York City, competing with Stark Tower. The “A” at the top wasn’t illuminated, but it still stood out against the other buildings, cowering over them.

You found that the doors were heavy and if you denied Wanda of going to those burn boot camps you would have extreme difficulty prying them open. The inside was classy, just as you expected. The lamps had blue shades and the front desk lit up with a design that resembled the American Flag, but with less curved stripes and only one large star.

The receptionist was one of the women who shot you down immediately when you called and was a little surprised when you checked in. “Hello, I’m here for Mr. Rogers, twelve o’clock?” She searched for something on her computer, clearly trying to see if the appointment was legitimate. When you were proven correct, she handed you a temporary security badge and a sharpie to write your name on it. “Have a seat over there when you’re finished. I’ll call for you when Mr. Rogers is ready for you.” She smiled, it was fake, but it helped you feel more comfortable.

The red couch was stiff and small, clearly not meant for long periods of sitting. The badge was clipped onto your blouse, not your blazer, and the weight of it was pulling at the already low cut neckline. You thought about moving it, but your attention was quickly turned to the coffee table, where your magazine sat, opened to an article you wrote. Your hands were a little shaky as you went to close the magazine, but you were interrupted before you could grasp the bent pages.

“Miss. Y/n? Mr. Rogers is ready for your interview. Head up to floor thirty six, the door on the right.” Miss receptionist sounded bored, her eyes never left the monitor in front of her. “Thanks.”

Some of the others in the waiting area looked up to you after hearing where you were going, causing you to blush.

You felt lucky to get the elevator to yourself. Thirty-six floors is a long way to go, yet you got there in under three. In the elevator you adjusted your outfit and flattened your hair, hoping it wasn’t frizzy.

The door on the right was clearly not just a meeting room but an office, which you thought was odd. You also found it odd that no one was in the room, you expected to at least be met with his assistant or secretary, if not Steve himself.

Your eyes scanned the room to make sure it was completely empty before taking a seat on the leather chair on the opposite side of the big desk. You opened your notebook and got out your lucky rooster pen before going over your questions once again, hoping he didn’t think they were stupid.

You waited fifteen minutes for him, growing increasingly irked as the minutes built up. When he walked through the door you felt like your heart stopped.

Six-four build covered in a black suit and tie, white undershirt pristine. Blonde hair disheveled and a perfectly manicured beard. The door slammed shut and you heard the clinking sound of a glass being set down. Steve lifted his head and you snapped yours to the front, hoping he didn’t catch you checking him out.

The room was silent besides a rustling coming from behind you. You busied yourself with your notebook, highlighting the questions you wanted to ask most.

“You’re a very patient girl.” He observed. Steve made you wait on purpose. He knew from the first person you called that you wanted an interview, he was friends with Maria Hill after all. But he wanted some entertainment, and after looking into you, he knew you were the right girl. So far he’s made you wait an hour and fourteen minutes for just a smidge of his attention.

“Yes, Sir.” You mumbled, accidentally stopping the highlighter too soon, pressing it down, and letting the pink ink bleed to the next page. He hummed in approval as he rounded the corner, drink in his hand, coat jacket discarded, sleeves rolled up, first couple buttons loose. Finally, Steve sat in the big chair, keeping eye contact with you as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the mahogany table.

“Give me that.” Your eyebrows furrowed at his statement, “What?” You asked, putting your pen down on your lap. Steve motioned for your notebook, and you opened your mouth, starting to stumble over your words. “Oh? um- Okay?” You handed it over to him and he relaxed back into his chair. A question bubbled in your throat, but you didn’t let it escape. Instead, you watched as his eyes scanned the papers, blue cursive, and pink highlighter, little stars and flowers drawn in the corners. “Mr. Rogers, are you ready to start the interview?” You tapped your watch, twelve twenty four.

He nodded, “Yes, I’m ready.” You cleared your throat and went to ask for your notebook, but he beat you to it. “Miss. L/n, is there an achievement or something that you’ve contributed to me that you are most proud of?” Why was he asking you your own questions? “Sir, I-“ He cut you off once again. “Answer the question, doll.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “I- um, no. I haven’t contributed anything to you that I should be proud of, Sir.”

“Is there a particular moment or memory of building this relationship that stands out to you?” He continued with the questions, tilting his head to the side. Why was he twisting the questions onto you? When you didn’t come up with an answer he chuckled, sounding sickly sweet like molasses dripping straight from the sugarcane. “Patience finally wearing thin, honey?” You nodded eyes staring at his chest, you couldn’t quite muster up the courage to look him in the eye.

He snapped your notebook closed and slid it towards your side of the grand desk. “You couldn’t answer my questions correctly, Y/n.” You nodded, eyes now downcast, admiring the pattern on the blue carpet. You felt like you were going to cry. This big scary man was mean and just wouldn’t let you conduct your interview and you didn’t know why. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

“I know you are, doll. But, if you can’t answer my questions how can I answer yours? You have nothing to offer me.” This was it, you were losing your chance. “Business wise, that is.” Your head shook, and your hands were clasped together, your left thumb rubbing your right nail back and forth. “I don’t understand, Sir.”

“I’m friends with Maria, Y/n. If you’re able to get this article done and get me on the cover you’re gonna get a promotion, you want that, right doll?” Your eyes went wide, “Yes, Sir.” Now, he stood, coming around to the front where you are and leaning against the desk. “She said to make it difficult, but I don’t care enough to do all that. So, doll, I’ll answer your questions. They’re quite good actually. And I’ll do a little photoshoot for the cover, but you’ll need to pay me back.” You gulped, hands suddenly sweaty, you felt like a little chihuahua, trembling under his gaze.

“How? Um, how do I pay you?” Gosh, even your voice was shaky. “Stand up. Lose the blazer.” Steve commanded, slowly unbuckling his belt. You could faintly tell from the buckle that it was Hermès. You stood and took off your blazer in a rush, folding it poorly and setting it on the arm of the chair. “Atta girl.”

He placed his hands on your shoulders and then ran them down to your hands, giving them a little squeeze before he hooked his index fingers into your belt loops, pulling you closer. So close that the tips of your shoes were touching. He leaned down to kiss your neck and you stiffened, but when he grazed his teeth over the bruised spot he just created you melted into him, your hands grasping at the pristine white button up, letting out a little whimper.

Steve pushed you back a little and took in your form, then he pulled the little security badge off, tossing it to the side. Like a little kid, he pulled at the neckline of your shirt. “Off.” You would’ve giggled at him if he didn’t look so scary right now. His blue eyes were piercing into yours, left hand so tight on your hip you thought he might leave bruises.

By the time your shirt hit the floor, he was pushing at your shoulders, hinting at you to go to your knees. “Sir, I don’t know-“

You started, knees hitting the carpet underneath you. He shushed you and guided your head to look up at him. “It's okay, baby, you don’t have to know how. I’ll do all the work, doll. Now, undo your bra.” As expected you did as he asked immediately, fumbling with the clasp until it fell down your arms. It ended up next to your thigh as you watched him pull his belt through the loops.

Steve walked around you and kneeled down, belt in his hands. “Put your hands behind your back.” You nodded immediately, so submissive, completely at his mercy. “Yes, Sir.” Steve loved how polite you were. He made quick work of restraining you, tying your hands to rest against your jean clad ass. The metal felt harsh against your skin and the soft, expensive leather snaked up your arms.

When he was back in front of you he sighed and shook his head. “I should’ve had you unzip me first.” Hearing Steve say that finally brought you to the reality of what was about to happen. You watched with big eyes as he undid the button and then the zipper, the sound making you tremble. His dress pants puddled on the floor and you were in awe as he massaged his bulge through his boxers. Slowly, he pulled them down to the middle of his thighs. His cock bounced up to hit his abdomen and he hissed as he stroked it a few times. “Open as wide as you can, honey.”

As always, you did as asked. Your tongue stuck out a little, wetting your bottom lip. He grasped the back of your head and leaned you forward a little, then you felt his blunt tip on your tongue. You gagged and spluttered when Steve was about halfway seated, he pulled out and leaned down, kissing you sloppily. “Breathe through your nose, baby. Don’t forget.” Then he was back at slowly entering your throat. “Fuck...” he grunted, finally fully seated in your throat, your nose pressed against his nicely groomed pubic hair. He caressed your throat then, rubbing the bulge in your throat, resisting the urge to press down and have you choke on his cock even more. “So good, Y/n.”

Steve started rocking into your throat, slowly fucking it as spit leaked from the corners of your mouth. After minutes of abusing your throat, he finally pulled out, adoring the way tears ran down your cheeks and how you hiccupped, wanting to desperately rub at your raw throat to soothe it. Your hands pulled at the belt and your eyes begged Steve to undo it. “Up, doll.”

He hoisted you up from your armpits and bent you over the desk. Steve pressed kisses down your back and reached in front of you, unbuckling your belt and throwing it somewhere to the left of you, then he unbuttoned and unzipped your pants, tugging them down with fervor.

Steve undid your restraints and left more kisses down your back until he reached your ass, spreading your cheeks to reveal your tight hole and glistening cunt. “I’d love to see this ass all bruised and red, but I’ll have to save that for another day.” His index and middle finger ran circles on your clit, your back arching to press into him more. “Sir, please!” You gasped, your hand flying out to the edge of the table and nearly knocking over the glass of whiskey he left on a coaster when Steve finally pushed two fingers into your aching hole.

“Gotta open you up first, doll, get you all sloppy and ready for my cock.” You cried out as he hooked his fingers, rubbing the magic spot inside of you. “Please, Steve, please.” He cooed at you, pulling his fingers out, and instead traced his name over your clit. “You gonna come, baby? Huh? You gonna drench my fingers, little girl?” You were moaning in wanton, hips humping his hand desperately. He brought his other hand down and started fingerfucking you again, giving you just enough to push you over the edge.

Your moans were breathy, your legs twitching, and you were panting by the time your orgasm faded. “I hope you know I’m not done with you yet, doll, I still haven’t come inside you.” That made you whine high in your throat and you tried, to no avail, to slam your legs shut around his hand.

Steve’s right hand fisted his cock a few times, making sure he’s rock hard and dripping with pre-cum, while his left kept your lips spread, showing him your gorgeous pussy. The blunt head at your entrance shocked you, and you yelped at the intrusion. “Sir!”

He leaned his head down and spit where you were joined, trying to make the glide even easier. “Shut up, doll.” He snapped after you cried out. Once he was as deep as possible inside of you he reached for his belt, looping it over as if he was going to spank you, and stuffed it into your mouth. “Bite down,” Steve demanded, a hand snaked around to the front of your neck where he was applying light pressure.

When you tried to push back against him he held your hips down against the wood steadily and started snapping his hips at a fast speed. Each thrust pushed you down onto the table, letting your clit rub against the mahogany wood.

Your vision felt spacey like you could black out any moment as he choked you. Your orgasm washed over you and you had to use all the strength you had in you to keep biting down on the belt. You didn’t want to know what would happen if you disobeyed his and let it go. Steve’s hips harshly snapped against your ass a few more times before he stilled inside of you, filling you with his spunk.

Before Steve cleaned you up and let you leave his office he had to finger his cum back inside of you, making sure none of it went to waste. Then, he made sure you had a way home, and a way to contact him, because, “Now you’re no longer Magazine Girl, but My Girl.”

@lo-bells

#steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve smut #steve rogers smut #dark!steve #dark!steve x reader #marvel #avengers fanfic #captain america #ceo!au #chris evans #leah-bobeea

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f1nalboys · 3 years

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i’m glad you have suck lovely followers/anons that make you happy!i feel that all writers/creators of art need to know what that we care about them even more than the work and they matter! i was going to request some plain old headcanons about dating (maybe with someone who got off the plane too with, like a mutual friend that he always thought was cute of something?) or nsfw? whatever sounds the most fun to write too you! and don’t stress about getting this done asap, you have a life too! hope you enjoy writing whether one of these you choose! (also my anon specialty is writing incorrect quotes for pieces i request, so keep an eye out for those whenever you finish!)❤️❤️

GOSH ALEX ANON I AM SO SORRY IT'S TAKEN ME THIS LONG :( I recently rewatched FD and fell back in love with alex <3 I forgot how much I loved him and Ian from FD3 omg. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this and I really hope you love it :)

WORD COUNT: 827

WARNINGS: nsfw under the cut, gn reader

Ah, Alex my beloved

Not even gonna lie, I rewatched the movie because of this request and I forgot how much I loved it

Anyways, onto some headcanons!

This is going to be a weird non-canon type thing? Like the plane accident happened, he saw and the people who left the plane did, but there’s no ‘death is coming for us’ aftermath

Okay lets go

I can see Alex getting crushes super easily

Like he could see someone and go ‘okay I’m going to end up with them.’

But talking to said crush is a different story

He is kinda shy, especially if Todd isn’t with him, so I don’t seen him automatically going up to someone he finds attractive and talking with them

Now, if you come up to him??? You’ve caught him off guard and now he’s stuttering

“Oh! Hey, hi, what's up? How're you? I’m good, you? I already asked that, didn't I.”

That type of shit

Very cute in my opinion because he’d get all bright red and be rubbing the back of his neck because he’s just so damn nervous

The longer the conversation, the more relaxed he’d get and eventually he’d ask you on a date

He seems to be the type to want a more,,,, traditional first date? If that makes sense? Like he wants to do a dinner and a movie, maybe take a walk in the park and end the night by giving you a goodnight kiss on your cheek

After that he is hooked and he’s not leaving you alone (well, as long as you don’t tell him to fuck off)

Every time he talks about you, whether you’re around him or not, he gets this big goofy smile on his face

He gets made of SO much but he doesn’t care

His love language is definitely words of affirmations and physical touch

Constant compliments, says ‘i love you’ pretty early on and then everyday after, talks to you about his day and wants you to tell him about yours, and he really listens to you

Like, hangs on to your every word kind of listens

And god does he touch you! Always holds your hand, rests his head on your shoulder, wraps his arms around your waist from behind, plays with your hair.

When he’s touching you he’s definitely more relaxed and able to focus more than if he wasn’t able to

Now your first time with him??? Very important to him

He builds the night up in his head a lot and will plan it out to the letter so he may freak out if something happens that he didn’t plan for

He’d have candles lit, relaxing music playing in the background, that kind of stuff

GOD HE IS SO ROMANTIC DURING IT TOO

Now, the first time is probably not going to be the best for you LMAO he’s a virgin and it’ll be his first time. His only experience with sex is porn mags and talking with Carter which… I won’t even get into it lol

But if you talk him through it, he’s a fast learner, just saying

He’ll lay you on your back and kiss you, real soft too, and his hands gonna trail down your chest to your jeans

And his forehead is gonna rest just above yours so he can watch your face when his hand slips in your underwear

“Does that feel good, baby?”

“God, you sound amazing,”

Very into praise, I don’t see him wanting to degrade anyone but maybe the longer you two are together the more willing he’d be to try it

He’s cumming early idc, the minute your mouth is on his cock he’s goneeeeee

Get’s all embarrassed and is literally close to tears because shit thats the worst thing he could do

But just tell him it’s okay and keep going, maybe have him go down on you, and he’ll be ready to go in just a bit

Sex with Alex is very intimate and sensual, lots of kisses and praises and pet names

It’s also kind of awkward the first few times but like,,, a loving and cute awkward

That honeymoon phase lasts a very long time

His affinity for touching you gets more perverted the longer you’re together because he can’t help himself

Won’t do anything TOO out there, won't go down on you or shove his tongue down your throat in public but he’ll absolutely grab your ass and whisper filthy shit in your ear

Speaking of, this man lovessss dirty talk especially if you’re giving it to him

Tell him about how you can’t wait to choke around him, how you love when he fucks you because he fills you just right and you’ll have him hooked even more than you thought would be possible

Basically he is the perfect person to date idc <3333333

Y’all don’t even know what I’d do to kiss him gently in the rain :,(

#final destination 1 #final destination 2000 #final destination #alex browning #alex browning x reader #alex browning x y/n #FD 1 #final destination franchise #slashers #slasher #slasher x reader #slasher x y/n #slasher oneshot #slasher headcanons #f1nalboys masterlist #f1nalboys writing #f1nalboys works

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westywrites · 3 years

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Writing goals for 2022... is it really already 2022?

@erinnharper tagged me in her writing goals, reminding me that I've been working on this post and really should try to get it out during these first few days of January while it's still relevant haha

A quick summary of my goals for this coming year:

write a short play for my university's theatre festival

continue with the next drafts of The Corvine and the first draft of Cypress Ascending

start the first draft of The Corvine book two

edit and ~do things~ with some already written pieces

write some short stories, poetry, etc for fun!

most importantly, be kind to myself

Before I go into more detail on those, let's start by responding to my goals from last January and see how I did in 2021.

Review of 2021:

-SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED!- 2021 writing goal one: do a final round of editing on my play for the 2021 theatre festival before directing it in February

This virtual play went really well! It's even available on YouTube now and forever :)

-ABANDONED - goal two: write & host a virtual murder mystery

Unfortunately, due to the so many other things happening in my life (and everyone else's), I realized pretty quickly this one just wasn't gonna happen. If the stars align again someday, maybe I'll give it another shot, I miss the murder mystery parties I did before.

I had mixed success on my other various goals (write more short stories & flash fiction, use haikus as writing warmup, effectively use my free time to actually write, update and interact here more often). Life loves to throw all it's got at us, huh? Sure makes finding the time to write difficult.

- PLANS CHANGED - Now. The Big Goal from 2021 was to get The Corvine ready and out for beta reading - I kind of succeeded? I changed my plan and decided that instead of doing public beta reading after draft two, I wanted to do a private round of alpha reading with some close friends & fellow writers. So they're finishing up with that as I'm starting to get ready for draft three!

This brings us to this year's goals!

Goal one: write a short play for my university's theatre festival

I have the idea already (playing around with the ideas of deus ex machine/god from the machine and fate). It'll be good fun, just gotta get it written and edited before February.

Goal two: edit and ~do things~ with some already written pieces

I want to edit through the jukebox musical I wrote for funsies and because I really like it, I am considering actually sending it to Cosmo Sheldrake himself and seeing what he thinks of what I did with his songs. Who knows what will come from that lmao.

I'm also looking at editing some of my favourite short stories and maybe submitting to lit mags for publication, so that's something that might happen this year.

The Big Goal(s): continue with the next drafts of The Corvine and the first draft of Cypress Ascending & start the first draft of The Corvine book two

As I mentioned above, I have some alpha readers looking at The Corvine - they all told me they'd be done and fill out the questionnaire I sent them by mid-January. Soon, I'll be working on the third draft (I already have some ideas on how to fix the most pressing issues). Hopefully, after the third draft, I will actually be offering it up to a broader public for beta reading!

In an ideal world, I would also finish the first draft of Cypress Ascending this year, but the BEd program owns my ass, so who knows what will happen.

I'd also like to finish up the outlining and start drafting on the second book of The Corvine (current working title is The Vulpsin, idk if I've mentioned that here)

Otherwise, I also have informal goals to write some more short stories, poetry, etc and post more here for fun!

But, most importantly, my ultimate goal for 2022 is to be kind to myself.

Life is hard. I'm a student in teachers' college. I've got acting projects and other extra-curricular things. I've got a job. I want to read and do other art things. I've got a girlfriend and roommates to make time for. However much writing I can fit in is a good amount of writing.

I need to remember all that I'm facing and realize that. Writing is my passion. But so are so many other things as well. Any writing is a good amount of writing. It's okay, whatever I get done or don't.

---

I'll tag some people who I'm curious to hear what they have planned! If you've already made a post, feel free to tag me in a reblog. Also, of course, no pressure at all to do it, I'm just curious! @radley-writes @ratracechronicler @drowsy-quill @cwritesfiction and @yvesdot

#west rants #amwriting #writers of tumblr #writerblr #writing goals #the corvine #cypress ascending #hooo boy #so many things i want to do #so little free time...#wahhhh

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jennsmischievousmind · 4 years

Text

Chaos Therapy

Session #2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Summary: You were assigned to a field mission, with particulars co-agents, Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes. One mission turned into multiples. After each missions you are debriefed by a therapist, Dr Noach just as Sam and Bucky. Thing is, they don’t know that you are much more than an agent.

Warnings: pining, bit of angst, Buck/Sam bickering, violence (fights against enemies), mild swearing (still real bad at warnings)

Published: 2021-02-21 Completed: 2021-03-30

Mumbling your floor to the AI, you tried to relax but the door not closing triggered you. Hearing voices coming your way you understood.

“I don’t get it tincan, you got the new arm, the new haircut loosen up,” Sam Wilson came into view followed by Barnes, you would have never thought yet you got star-struck by his intense gaze when it locked on yours – Wilson got oddly silent for a second his look bouncing between the two of you until Barnes looked away and faced the door.

Wilson snorted “Guess we won’t talk about what just happened,” a smirk growing on his face.

Rolling your eyes you resumed your attention on the elevator transparent walls. Until you caught yourself glancing at Bucky’s back, inevitably your look followed his left shoulder to his metal well, vibranium arm, unfortunately, you could only see his wrist and hand. It’s not like you had studied all of the late Mr Stark’s researches on his previous metal arm and Wakanda’s report on the new appendage... The few golden lines you could see were mesmerizing, fingers itching to trace them you quickly shook your head remembering where you were. The elevator finally stopped at your level.

"Meeting at 6, briefing in the jet." You declared trying to focus on the mission at hand, accidentally brushing Barnes' left arm as you exit.

You were about to apologize but Sam intervened "Okay boss"

Smiling you lifted an eyebrow "I'm not your boss, but keep that in mind just in case."

You kept your eyes on Wilson who was nodding at your answer appreciating your repartee until the door was inches too close your eyes shifted to Barnes'. His eyes already on you.

“Fuck! You’re a professional for Stark’s sake, get a grip!” getting angry at yourself you head for the cave.

"Can you tell me more about the actual mission you had?'"

"It’s classified."

"Alright," she smirks "I see here that you had to use your field agent training? "

“Affirmative ma’am!”

"Weren't you supposed to assist and use your shadow IT skills,"

"Also, affirmative,"

“So, what happened?”

Tactical gears, the best part of field missions, hands skimming the gears sprawled out on the metal table, you couldn't wait.

‘You won’t be wearing that actually," the technician kicked you off your reverie, you frowned "Casual clothes, Kevlar under it, one gun, that’s it.”

The deceive expression didn’t escape the attention of the techs around the table. “It’s not always big guns and expensive gear”

“Yeah, I get that. Great…” you grabbed the gun and the Kevlar. Ready to meet your co-agents at the hangar. They were by the jet reviewing things with the techs.

“Agent Wilson, Agent Barnes.” You rearranged your top over your kevlar,

“Ok, hold on, please call me Sam,’

“Alright, then call me Y/N or boss.” he chuckled at your saying.

“This is tincan,” his thumb pointed to Barnes

"Uh" squinting at Sam, surprised by the verbal jab, you were unable to form any words.

Bucky sighed, throwing his bag in a corner of the jet “Your record is scratched, Wilson”

“Newsflash. We don’t use records anymore Buck!”

You stayed silent watching them bicker on the jet's ramp, taking mental notes. Bucky's jaw clenching every now and then, the never-ending smirk of Sam. How and why did anyone think it was a good idea to team them up?

“I already miss my cave.” You mumbled and passed by them, they both looked at you as you made your way in the tactic jet.

The briefing went smoothly, oddly, although seeing Barnes in tactical gear didn't leave you indifferent. Your mind yelling to get a grip while your eyes roam his geared up body. Now you had a full view of his vibranium arm, he caught you once or twice looking intently at it, each time you felt bad you didn't want him to feel uncomfortable or anything.

Few hours later, spent meditating and reviewing the mission in your head, avoiding the guys, avoiding Bucky, you ended up on one of the New Singapore islands. The tactic jet retreats back as soon as you three touched the ground.

“I go first, you come in after I made sure the target’s in, Buck in standby”

“Yeah, we know,” Bucky spoke, you could hear the exasperation in his voice.

Sam smirked at Bucky before rounding the corner leading to the underground club. There you were alone with Bucky Barnes.

"Are you two always like that?" you leaned on the concrete wall behind you.

He was standing straight, hands on his tactical belt "What'd you mean by that?" you tried not to stare as his look remained forward.

"Tough love and all.." your teasing voice made him glance your way. He hid a smirk and fully turned to you taking a step forward. “We’re working on that,” it was your turn to hide a smirk, and you thanked the dark alley for hiding the dusted red that had reached your neck at his closeness.

Minutes later Sam had called in the comm. Getting through the crowd you reached the bar where Sam was, clubs, forsaken places. He nodded at the back of the club where he had seen the target get out.

Making your way to the hidden office in the back, the dark and the loud music were your allies, scanning the room with one of the few gadgets you were allowed to have you were relieved to find it empty of human forms.

“Ok, 15 minutes” you called out in the comm’. Forcing the door, you look behind you before sliding it shut. Rummaging the all room you finally find the old metal case.

“I got the codes,” you were supposed to analyse them on site and then destroyed them but when you didn’t hear any of them answered you stopped “Sam?” silence “Barnes?” a distant crash followed by howls caught your attention.

“Y/N GET OUT!” Bucky's voice rang into your comm' not missing a beat you grabbed the case, slide the door open ready to run to the backdoor. “Oh!” you stopped dead in your tracks, a large man about 6 feet tall blocked the door. He eyed the case in your hand, you shrugged.

Pouncing on you, you easily dodged him as he was so slow, you ran to the main room instead, only to find Sam and Bucky fighting against a bunch of dudes.

“Subtle mission my ass,” you muttered to yourself, Watching them, you were genuinely interested in the two Avengers' fighting skills, missing the big guy coming behind you.

Grabbing your middle, trapping your arms against your body he lifted you as if you were a feather. Quickly refocusing you hooked your feet to his calve, balancing your weight against him he started to wobble backwards, his arms slipping up past your chest allowing you to elbow his floating ribs multiple times. He finally let go groaning, you took this time to kick his knee, he whaled staying down. Seeing the boys were still fighting and enemies still coming in you joined them. Back to back with both of them holding your ground.

“Buck you wanna clear the path” Sam snickered.

"Sure if you've got a great idea in mind involving your chicken wings go ahead," Buck retorted earning a death stare from Sam.

"I'm really deliberating leaving you here with them right now," you checked your gun’s mag.

"And how do you plan on getting out?"

“Close your eyes” the boys followed your request without any doubt.

You activated your anti-flash lenses with a press on your temple. Launching the tiny flashbang on the ground it exploded blinding everyone around you. Since the guys couldn’t open their eyes yet and you could clearly see the path you grabbed them both by the wrists and pulled them out, they ran behind you blindly for less than a minute until you reached the outside, stopping in the nearest alley.

The place was loud with cries, smokes evading the place brushing the neon lights creating a halo of blurred colours. Lost in the moment, the adrenaline rushing out you felt your right hand becoming colder in an instant, a low whirring and vibration coming from the vibranium wrist you were holding soothed your racing heart.

Sam had already escaped your grasp to check on the escape route. Quickly removing your hold you glanced at Bucky to make sure he wasn't uncomfortable but his face showed a different emotion. His gaze remained on his wrist where a second ago your warm hand was, brow knitted yet his look was soft, he clenched his fist and released it, he snapped out of it when an explosion occurred in the club. Time to run.

“If I knew we were about to run so much I wouldn’t have worn my best suit!” Sam argued, your lips curved into a smile at his annoyed voice.

In the jet safe and sound you tried to work on the codes but the two supposed-to-be grown-ups you work with were arguing about how the mission went wrong. Eventually, you tuned them out and send the files to the intelligence.

After giving back your gear to the assistant waiting for you in the hangar you turned to your co-agents.

“That was fun!” Sam tossed his suit jacket upon his shoulder “we should team up more often”

You scoffed “I don’t know about that”. Bucky came down the ramp his gear in hands, your jaw clenched at the way he looked so effortlessly good, it ignited something in you and you thought why the hell am I fighting this.

“Sam, Barnes,” you bowed your head slightly heading to the quarters' area, already writing the reports in your head, before needy thoughts cloud your mind.

“Bucky, it’s Bucky,” he called out, you spun fully, walking backwards “Bucky,” you spoke softly, the corner of your mouth quirked up, eyes entirely focused on him, his didn’t waver either. Rounded a crate disappearing from their view you bit your lower lips.

Sam nudged Bucky’s shoulder "When I said to loosen up, I didn't imply crushing on our new teammate,"

"Shut up,"

“And it was the first official mission with them?”

“Yes ma’am, … the intelligence thought the mission was a success, somehow. Against what I thought, they decided to team us up again,”

She nods, your answer exactly what she wanted to hear, she cuts the recorder.

“All is going well then” she closes her tablet, undoing the first button of her shirt feeling stuffy.

“I’ll be able to give you something more tangible in a few missions,”

SESSION #3

MASTERLIST

Published: 2021-02-21 Completed: 2021-03-30

I will be tagging Chaos Therapy now, since some of you might filter the TFATWS tags to avoid spoilers.

#tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #Bucky barnes x reader #Bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #tfatws imagines #Chaos Therapy

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natromanxoff · 3 years

Text

Queen live at Elland Road in Leeds, UK - May 29, 1982 (Part-2)

Fan Stories

“We got a coach from my home town (about 2 hours from memory) and drank an ocean of lager on the way, by the time we got there we needed the toilet so badly we could have exploded! We got into the stadium and waited for the first band of the day. Soon enough a not very well known (to me) American band came on called Heart. They weren't bad but did nothing for me. Then came The Teardrop Explodes who tried and who I reckoned did quite well despite the flying bottles of liquid being hurled at them from the crowd. After them was Joan Jett complete with Blackhearts who got the crowd going with "I Love Rock'n'Roll" mainly because Brian appeared at the side of the stage with his daughter to have a look. Eventually after a long wait the stage lights dimmed and a strange cranking sound started up and then you were suddenly aware of the drum beat to Flash thumping out and spotlights chasing around the stadium. This went on for a minute or so and the excitement was unbearable. All of a sudden in an explosion of smoke, lights, guitars, drums... Brian, John and Roger are there blasting out the opening part of The Hero. Seconds later in a gleaming white leather jacket out runs Freddie and it begins... A moment I will never forget along with many others from Queen shows since and before it. I can't say which show was my favourite as I loved them all but that moment WAS Queen, the sheer power, the anticipation, the fantastic musical ability and above all else the way they gave people what they crave more than anything... wonderful memories.” - whiteman

“29th May 1982 - a really nice warm day. We only lived a few miles away so walked down to Elland Road - I can't believe it - Queen live in my home town at the home of the greatest football team in the country (well maybe not now!). Got to the ground early and were allowed in by security, such a relaxed atmosphere. Saw band's soundcheck - great! So hot sun, never went behind stadium roofs. Got best suntan I have ever had! Heard Teardrop Explodes - not bad. Then you are aware of the beat of flash thumping out around the stadium, the smoke rises and bang - they are on! The greatest gig I have ever seen from the greatest live band in history. God bless you, Brian, Roger and John. Rest in peace, Freddie - we will never forget.” - Michael Quine

“This was my second ever gig, the first being Rory Gallagher the year before (I am sure I once read that Rory was one of Brian May's favourite guitarists). Anyway, being only 14 and not yet in the habit of getting off my face at gigs,I can remember that day very clearly. I am convinced I saw someone throw a hamburger at Julian Cope (Teardrop Explodes were going down like a lead balloon), and just as Julian was opening his gob to sing, he CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH. A huge cheer went up, then they stomped off. Somebody, possibly Queen's manager, came on and told everbody to behave. I also remember a fan getting on stage and Freddie expertly rolling him off the stage. I didnt like the Hot Space album much but was chuffed they were still a hard rock band. I bought the next edition of Kerrang mag and the write up of the gig said STUNNING. Great memory.” - Edwin

“I was 15 years old in 1982 when I attended my first ever concert. Fortunately for me, it was QUEEN's show at Leeds AFC ground in the North of England. I remember when my ticket arrived in the post, possibly 2-3 months before the concert, as was often the case in those days. I stuck my ticket on a cork notice board in my bedroom and could barely contain my excitement over the coming weeks. Every morning, I would wake up and look at the yellow ticket, wishing the days away. I imagined everything that could go wrong would. Queen would cancel the gig, I would break my leg, the family pet would die on the morning of the concert and it would be too insensitive of me to go, the transport wouldn't turn up or would break down, there would be a pile up on the motorway, I'd lose my ticket en route, etc, etc. As it turned out, May 29th 1982 was a hot and sunny day, perfect weather for an outdoor gig. I was CRAZY about Queen and had been since the age of 9 but I really didn't know what to expect on that day. Myself and three friends took a coach organised by my Dad's company from Lancashire across the M62 motorway to Leeds. Our excitement began to really take a hold when we arrived at the football ground and we followed the droves of people towards the turnstiles. To me, this was something on a really big scale and I could already hear the hum of the crowd inside. Not really believing that we were actually about to witness a Queen concert, we found our seats on the West Stand, offering a great view of the stage. I remember marvelling at Queen's new lighting rig and the equipment that adorned the stage, shining in the afternoon sunshine. The ground was almost full at this point and the pitch was heaving with people. The atmosphere was relaxed as people bathed in the sunshine. I remember two guys climbing the fence from the stand and attempting to get a better spot by running into the crowd and losing themselves on the pitch. Their efforts were in vain however as they were quickly located and ejected back into the stand by two security guards. We bought some black Hot Space tour shirts (I wore mine with pride until it literally fell apart) and a programme from a vendor inside the ground and waited for the first band to take the stage. A guy near us shouted and punched his way through Heart's set and then left just as they vacated the stage. Obviously not a Queen fan! The Teardrop Explodes suffered at the hands of the Queen congregation and found themselves battling against a shower of bottles and assorted missiles. Other than that, I don't really remember much about the support bands. I think that Bow Wow Wow were billed to play (an odd choice) but I can't recall if they actually turned up. No matter, we were about to witness what is still one of the best gigs I have ever attended.

As the dusk descended upon us, the giant floodlights were extinguished one by one and the memory of the roar that followed still sends shivers down my spine. Dry ice drifted across the heads of the crowd on the pitch as the intro tape of Flash thumped out of the PA and the strange 'grating' noises added to the recording created a foreboding atmosphere. Two of our party were on the pitch and to this day remember their chests thumping in unison to the powerful rhythm. A sea of hands clapped in perfect time to the beat. To me, this was already an amazing experience. And then the big moment. Freddie, resplendent in dazzling white made his entrance to The Hero and the blaze of the lights. An apt number to start with. Before he had even sung a note, the audience were locked tightly in the palm of his hand. Such an entrance, such a showman. "You're a F***in amazing crowd", he exclaimed after the first rush. The beginning of the gig is, in truth, my strongest memory of the show itself. In particular, the "Flash!!!" vocals cutting through the night air with so much volume. I recall being shocked at the sheer power of Queen's performance and the clarity of the huge sound they harnessed. Morgan Fisher's keyboards during 'Action This Day' sounded bright and hypnotic. Freddie's intro to Fat Bottomed Girls caused quite a response too; "the bigger the t*t the better it is!". I also remember the follow spots darting wildly over the crowd during 'Tie Your Mother Down' and everybody going crazy. Oddly enough (and this is something I still swear by to this day), I was in a Maths lesson at school the following Monday and I swear I had a flashback of this and could actually 'hear' the music being re-played in my head. It was a weird moment and life was never quite the same again. We talked endlessly about our experience for months to come and one of my biggest regrets is not jumping on a train to attend the filmed Milton Keynes show a week later. Having been to so many gigs since, I can honestly say that there is nobody who has been able to top Queen live; I was lucky enough to see the band five times between 1982 and 1986, including Wembley Stadium and their last show at Knebworth. I think that my personal favourite was their performance at the NEC in Birmingham on 'The Works' tour in 1984. People were literally stood there with open mouths, unable to believe how good they were. Leeds is definitely up there too. I recall Brian May stating that he thought it was one of their best performances ever. I can't argue with that Mr May. I've often wondered if an audience shot cine film or even just photographs exist from the Leeds gig. It would be a dream come true to see my memories come to life again.” - Keith Lambert

“I can't believe it was 30 years ago that I attended my first ever gig at Elland Rd Leeds in 1982. I was 17 years old at the time, I was into Queen when I first heard seven seas of rhye, which was so different to all the other stuff around at the time. I'd heard them live on tv, and had Live Killers. Also I used to buy bootleg cassettes of all of their tours from 74 onwards. But nothing could prepare me for that day. They should have played this gig at Old Trafford Manchester, my home town, so I was gutted when the residents opposed it. Tickets were very easy to come by, believe it or not, cos Queen were not seen as a relevant band at that time. Also touring the Hot Space album didn't seem to excite anybody. So, Billy no mates had to go on his own, haha. My memory is a bit hazy, but I will try my best. I got to the ground about 1pm, and was lucky enough to have a pitch ticket. I got right to the front, well about 10 yards from the stage, slightly off centre and to the right. If I told you I never moved from that spot all day and never spoke to anyone, would you believe me? One of the reasons for this is the rivalry between Manchester and Leeds, also I was only a kid, haha. Not sure who was first on, probably Teardrop Explodes, Julian Cope, I remember while they were throwing bottles at him, picked one up and started hitting himself with it and stretching his arms out saying he was an Argentinian bomber or something. It was during the Falklands war, remember. Then Heart came on, not really my cup of tea, and I had a lie down on the tarpaulin and tried to go to sleep. Then Joan Jett, who was better than the rest, but not really exciting. During the band changes, I remember the roadies polishing Roger's drum kit and climbing up ropes and those threepronged lights, which before I saw them move I thought they were cameras. Queen took ages to come on. From my recollection and I might be wrong, they didn't come on until 10pm and went off around Midnight. I heard later that they got fined so much per minute for being late on stage but they wanted to wait until it was dark for the lighting rig to take effect. If you watch the Bowl DVD you will notice it was light when they came on stage there. But that was being filmed by Channel 4. But it was absolutely pitch black when they came on stage at Leeds. Then the floodlights went off, smoke started to appear and strange noises started, which I can't describe, sorry. Then Flash's Theme started, it was loud, very, very loud. I knew they were supposed to be loud and this was the part that scared me. The ground was thumping, the bass just pumping away. The these 'cameras' flicked into life, with men on them. The intro seemed to last for a very long time. Then BANG Brian appears with the first chord of The Hero and a flash of the biggest white light I've ever seen and will never forget and the absolute loudest noise I have ever heard just hit me. The intro was quite in comparrision to this. When I play Live at the Bowl, I tend to repeat the intro and The Hero, virtually every time, because it was definitely a life changing experience for me at that moment, just incredible. Then Freddie appeared in brilliant white again, I was that close, I swear His hair seemed blue because of the mass of white lights. His voice, so loud, so clear, honestly, I can't describe that moment properly. I heard Freddie swear, saw Roger spitting, quite a lot, over his drum kit and onto the stage, I was bewildered.

When they did Play The Game and also Somebody To Love, when Freddie was doing the intros for them and it will sound strange to those that weren't there, but I didn't know what the songs were. I thought they was new unreleased songs. The reason was they was so loud, It kind of deafened you and then kind of sunk in what they were about to play. Then the rest of the gig flew by and I was singing my head off. Everyone was, but you could only hear Queen. Again my memory may be wrong, but I read afterwards that Queen had paid for residents to move out of their homes for the day. These houses were monitored and they said that the sound was like Concorde flying 10 feet over your head... Yep I will buy that. For all that and for all the bad things said about it, The Works tour, which I went to all the 4 origional England gigs they had planned, was the best tour they ever did. The set list was fantastic and the lighting rig was incredible. Not as loud, I also add. I also saw them in Manchester, 86. They had to be off stage by 10pm and noise levels had to be adhered to. I was too far awy to see them and the screens didn't come on because it was too light. Also I couldn't here them properly. I've watched the mMagic Tour gigs on DVD etc, but for me, that was the poorest tour they ever did. So that's it, hopefully some of you can confirm my bad memory, or say I'm wrong. Hopefully not bored you all. But it was the greatest musical experience I ever witnessed and I am proud I was there.” - Paul Wakefield

Part-1

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#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #queen concerts

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totheblood · 2 years

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heyyyy star ! Congrats on your 800, you deserve it so much, sweetie! i'm greedy, sorry

ships. hmm, hey, you already saw my face. but : short girl (5"01), blue eyes, brown hair "bob haircut", eternal child, love food (a lot), marvel, watching disney, love singing musicals, doing craft for work and free time, a bit naïve and childish, love playing board games, always doing too much for work (like dressing as a pirate, creating a whole treasure card, wearing Minnie mouse ears) blurbs. “ what else did you break? “ peter parker being a dork? free compliments - any works of mine you want (fic). Really i just want to have your opinion (yeah, you know me: low esteem). rant/vent. : i'm glad we "met" on this server and i wish i could get to know you better, you seems so sweet and kind and fun to talk !

hi mags!

ships. can i be completely honest? i really see you with thor. he's fun loving and warmth and i feel like you and him would compliment each other nice. i feel like he is also a bit naive and childish and he could be someone you just have a lot of fun with. i also see him being the type to dress up with you, or just really like it when you dress up and hype you up!

blurbs. i will be writing this in a separate post and will dedicate it to u!!

free compliments. i read let the rain pour on you and your writing is so good! you are so descriptive and capture emotion really well! also i love the header and graphics for it!!

rant/vent. i am also glad we met! you are the sweetest and always fun to talk to. it's truly a privilege to know you.

#star's sleepover

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feanorianethicsdepartment · 3 years

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🏅 😭 ✏️ 💕

-@outofangband

[an ask game about the fic writing life i reblogged forever ago]

🏅 what is the fic you’re most proud of?

at the moment, probably this drabble collection i did for another fandom? i’ve not completely finished rewriting the notes, but the main text is done. it’s not that i think it’s a masterpiece, but i said i was going to write thirty-one 250-ish-word conversations, and i wrote thirty-one 250-ish-word conversations. feels like an accomplishment

😭 have you ever made yourself cry writing a fic?

i... don’t think so? i’m not someone who cries much in general, it’s just how i am. have written several fics that make my heart clench, usually because they’re related to big fancy musical numbers i have a lot of emotional investment in kinou mo kyou wa seiten de~ for this fandom, i’d say a sky full of stars fits that bill perfectly, writing it was a huge emotional rollercoaster. so was homecoming, for different, worse reasons

✏️ what is your fave fic from another writer?

asddfhdghr what a question! i sincerely don’t think i can pick one, i’ve just got a big pool of fic i really like and reread whenever i dive back into the fandom. there’s a significantly higher proportion of the really good stuff in this fandom too, it’s wild. but here, have a selection of three out of many:

the everlasting song series, by @amethysttribble. it feels almost too obvious to put on the list, this was one of the first fics i found in last november’s fanfic binge and i’ve been eagerly awaiting updates ever since. it’s simultaneously one of the best crossovers i’ve ever read and the isekai i’ve been looking for all my life and and a fully-planned-out novel series i’m eager to see unfold. i started rereading asoiaf just to keep up with the other half of the crossover, it’s great, and i can’t wait to see it complete

never a monster he couldn’t love, by luteoflorien (who i don’t think has a tumblr?) i haven’t been keeping up with the harry potter franchise since before the last movie came out, but i loved this fic anyway. it’s very calm, very detailed, very well-written, and it has a soft boy!mags i can actually buy! i love the way he gets characterised, how he interacts with the other characters, it’s never easy but they’re all trying, it feels so real. it hasn’t been updated in over two years, which is a damn shame, but what is there works very well on its own. it’s a fic i reread when i’m having a bad day and just want to feel better

the heart hides unimaginable things, by softshark (almost certainly not the tumblr user of the same handle.) you guys all know i have Opinions about elrond’s relationship with his parents, and this fic is one of the best takes on his reunion with elwing i’ve ever read. elwing is so painfully scared, elrond is so painfully understanding, it reads like two people who’ve never met trying to forge a personal connection despite everything, and i love that angle. the line ‘As Sauron had reforged Maedhros in his own image, and Maedhros had reforged his brothers just the same, perhaps her sons, too…..’ haunts me, the terrifying au it inevitably spawned lingers in the back of my head. a+ fic

💕 what is the wip that you are most excited about?

i’ve already talked about the songfic songfiggorath several times on this blog and haven’t worked on it since last spring, rip so instead i’m gonna gush about the Big Silm Project i’m actually making progress on, the kidnap-dads-all-the-way-down fic!

the basic hook of this thing is that those jokes about maglor being a serial child abductor are hilarious, but you know what’d make them better? if all of his brothers were like that, literally all of the time. acquiring children under dubious circumstances, raising them with their particular brand of love and care, turning them into treasured little killing machines... they are legitimately good dads. terrible people, but good dads

it’s one of the first of my trademark stupid fëanorian aus, and i’ve put way much more effort into fleshing it out than it probably deserves. you know those fëanorian child ocs i bring up every so often? this is where they’re from, and while only a few of them have names several of them have, like, personalities and sketched-out character arcs and stuff. we’ve got celebrimbor’s younger sisters, maglor’s horrible only daughter, caranthir and haleth’s son-by-adoption-on-both-sides, the original orc culture hero... i have a family tree, it’s wild

i’ve had the bones of this whole au sketched out for... coming up on a year now, but due to various distractions i’m still on the fifth scene of :counts on fingers: nineteen for the first introducing-the-verse fic. that fic is a zoomed out sweep over the boys’ time stealing children in beleriand, with a few flashes forward and back for contextual purposes. i have some other fics i wanna write within the au - something about nerdanel, something about [SPOILERS] - but i wanna get this one done first. it’s very directed at my personal tastes, but i’m having a lot of fun writing it, and i do wanna get it out there!

#ask #i guess i do ask games now #outofangband #post nyanyannya askbox clearout #...should probably change that tag to 'post uni askbox clearout'#heya! not completely done with coursework - i got a sinus infection in the middle of term - but teaching is Over!#i could probably go on for hours about my third gen feanorian ocs #(don't worry they (almost) all die)#still refuse to give them names until i absolutely have to #stupid old man and his stupid conlangs #the elrond-and-elwing fic ain't the most technically polished but the ideas more than make up for it

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frienderbender · 3 years

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hey frienderbender is it ok to ask for some lore/information on your magpickles 🥺 I’m very invested in those goods ( off the topic but can I just say I am in LOVE with the way you draw Skwisgaar my heart is just fluttering to fast when I see him 🥺💞 Anyways muah you’re wonderful artist thank you have a lovely day/evening )

oh sure! first off thank you so much for the sweet message! that made my night :'] i love drawing skwisgaar and im glad you like how he looks in my style haha

anyways im assuming youre talking about my general lore for them in the canon timeline, so ill talk about that under the cut

i think they first met some time in the late 80s while pickles was still with snb. they met after a show specifically. magnus introduced himself as a fan, and that was true! but (quick tangent for some general mag thoughts) it brings up something that ive always thought about when i look at mag. magnus definitely gives off the vibe of being the guy who was always just Around in the music scene, especially in the rock and metal scene of this era. like, hes a mysterious dude but he has connections. he will play with random bands sometimes. he knows so many fucking people in this industry (not saying hes friends with all of them though); what im trying to say is. Everyone Has A Magnus Hammersmith Story. hes the type of guy that gets talked about in podcasts decades down the line. ok all that to say he was able to get backstage because he just Knows People. and he introduces himself as a fan blah blah pickles and magnus drink and do some drugs and honestly i wouldnt be surprised if they at the very least made out with each other the first night they met.

so pickles is like, pretty into him right off the bat. magnus was too, but i think on his end INITIALLY he was more just interested in hooking up but they exchange info and keep in touch and all that. so. this is RIGHT before snb implodes. and theyre still meeting up fairly regularly and becoming closer and doing a lot of drugs and drinking a bunch. typical rockstar stuff.

but pickles had been on a steady downward spiral at this point (he was already like this before he met magnus), and in one night snb is no more. having burned all those bridges in his band (for now), pickles turns to his only friend left: magnus. and i think its at this point, when pickles comes to him, wrecked by the dissolution of his band, that magnus kinda starts to realize he might actually feel something for him too? seeing him like this, seeing pickles from fucking snakes n barrels, so raw and real and not at all like the fiery redhead he met that night after their show...it just feels different somehow. like yeah he was attracted to pickles from snakes n barrels, but he realized he had grown to care about pickles from tomahawk wisconsin. he liked that one better, there was no bullshit. no hiding beneath layers of glam makeup and hairspray.

so its the two of them against the world. its the early 90s at this point. on a whim, pickles decides they should leave LA and just drive. wherever. just away from the city because LA fucking sucks. he takes all his money and he and magnus get in his car and just start driving. they end up in florida eventually, because its the other side of the country. or something. they get an apartment, and for a couple of months they live together and its. kinda nice. its different, for sure. but not bad. magnus and pickles both always kinda skirted around the topic of their relationship. they never called the other their boyfriend. but i feel strongly that they did tell each other that they loved the other, once. and they meant it.

so heres where things get tricky for me. how did dethklok form? what was the order? who met who first? i dont know!! i wish i knew! its something i have a million scenarios for and i wish we got a canon order of the members joining at the very least so i can model my headcanons around it haha

with that in mind though, i do think magnus and pickles were a bit of a package deal. like, whoever joined first was able to get the other in. so. yeah. they joined dethklok some time in the early to mid 90s now.

they have a pretty decent few years. theyre still.......something....even in their new band. like they arent open about it and hook up when the other guys arent around and all that.

its around this time though that i think magnus is really starting to go through it. combination of feeling frustrated because of the bands status at this point, general untreated mental health, etc. anyways i think the stabbing incident occurred some time in the mid 90s, probably like '95 or '96 or something. so.....he gets kicked out. obviously. and those are the terms they end on for awhile.........

but uh. you see. pickles never completely cut ties with the dude because. well. what do you do when this happens to someone you care so deeply about. and i think probably a month or so later, magnus actually contacts him for the first time since the stabbing incident. and maybe i have a comic script and thumbnails about this encounter what about it. magnus tells him he wants to see him, so pickles slips out that night to meet up at an old bar they used to go to a lot. may or may not be the depths of humanity uhhh anyway. theyre talking for awhile but it just kinda devolves into honestly more one-sided arguing on pickles end. hes frustrated and sad and confused because fuck! magnus! why would you do that? why, when the bands just starting to take off? it becomes this whole like. you arent the same guy i knew. and in that moment it quietly hits them both that like. we arent who we were, and we dont know what to do about that. magnus asks if pickles would want to join him and leave the band, and pickles tells him to go fuck himself. and thats the last thing he ever said to him.

and thats where the magpickles lore/relationship timeline ends. i realize it really did kinda turn into a timeline but also i did write a timeline during a slow day at work once like two months ago but. anyways. this is basically that.

but uh. yes. i love them. they make me sad but in a good way yknow. its like. its one of those situations where i feel like under different circumstances, they probably couldve made it work in their own weird way. they have such a specific dynamic, whether in their background together in the canon timeline or just me fucking around with AUs and being like hmm what if i actually gave them a scenario where they could have the time to develop AS an actual couple. im rambling but i just love these two so much. this is so long.

i feel strongly they wouldnt get back together in any sort of canon capacity, but i do think they still have feelings for each other in that way you do when you remember people you loved in the past. old friendships that dissolved with no resolution. the person you still have things you want to tell them, even though you know you will never get the chance.

#IM SO SORRY THIS IS MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE #asks #dicksoutformtl #IF YOU WANT. AU LORE. just lemme know and i will happily talk about that!

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onestowatch · 3 years

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Lexi Jayde Sings Her Truth on “hate to be you” [Q&A]

Photos: Weslee Kate

hate to be you.

In Lexi Jayde's new single, “hate to be you,” she once again hits the proverbial nail right on the head.

hate to be you” is a lyrical story that artistically breaks down the process of healing after a painful betrayal. The song holds the perfect degree of petty mixed mixed with a healthy dose of honesty, balancing the whole narrative. The track builds up into a cathartic crescendo while never losing its soft and delicate core. It highlights the sadness and denial that builds up through a breakup while on the hunt for closure and peace.

Jayde’s performance leaves little to be desired as it is awash with raw emotions that are kept in check by her controlled vocals. Her soft voice brings an intriguing juxtaposition to the biting lyrics throughout the compelling track.

“hate to be you” seems to be the next song in an emotional progression after the heartbreaking “drunk text me.” In comparison, “hate to be you” is full of radical acceptance, as petty as it may be. It is an empowering and much-needed song for the hurt and broken-hearted. "I'd hate to be you" is truly an anthem for anyone working to heal a broken heart, a reminder that they will be okay in the end... and that the person who caused the damage is stuck knowing what they lost and why they lost it.

We had the pleasure of chatting with Lexi all about the process of working on this single, the emotions surrounding it, and much more.

Ones to Watch: How are you doing today? How are you feeling?

Lexi Jayde: I’m doing incredible! I’m in such a great place in my life and so excited for the year ahead.

“hate to be you” is incredibly emotional and raw. What was the writing process like for this track?

The writing process was so much fun. I wrote it with this amazing writer Mags Duval and producer Nick Ruth. I’ve been wanting to write an angry break up song for a while now, so when we finished writing it I was thrilled. Coming up with these lyrics was so much fun and we had a lot of laughs and screams during the process.

Do you find therapy in the writing process or by the time you put something into song have you already processed the emotions behind the story?

I always find therapy in the writing process with all my music. Even if my feelings have already been processed, it always gives me a sense of closure when finishing a song. I think even after a song is released it still continuously is therapy for me, especially when I scream it in my car. Every song of mine tells a story of either something I went through or explains the emotions I’m feeling, so with this new music it’s kind of a mix of both. Writing about what I went through actually helped me get over the pain.

Your single “drunk text me” was a massive success, how did that feel to experience as a new artist?

Honestly, it was and still is so surreal. I will never forget the release process for this song and every little moment I’ve got to experience so far. I could cry just thinking about how grateful I am for all the love it’s received. It really makes me the happiest girl to know that I’m able to make music about these experiences I go through and help so many people around the world!

You recently toured with Adam Melchor. How was the tour experience for you? Did you learn anything new about yourself as a person or as an artist through the experience?

Going on tour with Adam was one of the best experiences of my life. I will never ever forget it. I definitely learned how to take care of my voice over a long period of time and self-care in general. It’s hard to be away from home for a long period of time, but that’s all worth it when you’re on stage and meeting fans. I love performing so much and touring is just one of the most amazing feelings.

What inspires you, something you go back to time and again when you feel stuck or need to re-center?

I love to hang out with my friends, do something fun. Maybe go on a drive and scream some songs, take a walk around my neighborhood. I think being surrounded by people you love always brings out the best in you! So for me, being around my friends always inspires me and pulls me out of a bad headspace.

What do you hope people take away from “hate to be you”?

I think this song is very empowering in a lot of ways for women. So many people I know get cheated on, or go through awful breakups with their ex. I want every person that hears this to know their worth and know how amazing they are. Heartbreak is very painful, especially when the heartbreak comes from betrayal. Just know you're better without that person in your life and you will meet someone one day who will show you love that you’ve never known before. We’re all in this together!

Most people who go through a challenging relationship and breakup never get to let people know how they really felt once things are settled and done. Is there an excitement in getting to speak or rather sing your truth?

There is definitely excitement because I never got to say what I needed to say, but on the other hand there’s also a sense of nerves. I think saying your truth no matter what is always a little scary. But I’m very proud of it, and I think it’s going to help so many girls who have had similar experiences heal.

The production and vocals on your singles is always stellar. How many revisions do your songs typically go through before you are happy with the final mix, and how do you decide when a song is done?

Honestly, it really depends! “hate to be you” I think went back three different times to the studio to re-record/write/fix vocals. My team and I are a little bit of perfectionists so we always want to make sure we can get the best version of my songs possible. I know a song is done when I can’t stop hitting replay in my car lol. It’s the best feeling getting a final mix back, especially after going back and forth with different versions.

Anything else you would like to share?

All I have to say is 2022 is going to be an incredible year and I’m so excited for the world to hear what I’ve been working on. So much to look forward to, and I’m just so insanely grateful for the love I’ve been and continuing to receive on my music. Thank you to every single person who supports me on this journey! I love you <3

#lexi jayde #interview #singer songwriter #hate to be you #pop

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