#i am actually posting this like a week early but I dont think anyone from my club follows me here

[thewisestdino]

Character Design club from this month - we had to base it off a song and he is based off CHEEZY STREET by Louie Zong and Dante NK

He is a y2k pizza deliveryman who a cyber-vigilate by night > : O He also would do much better than Breakdancing in the Olympics than Australia

[orcelito]

I got 7 reactions to the post I made on this app 8 whole days ago (when most ppl in my area got 2 or 3 at the most). & Several messages I haven't responded to. Tbh I haven't bothered since that first day, bc I got what I wanted out of it (decided to try a hookup and accomplished it 3 days after deciding it), and...

We've still been texting. Sometimes about things that aren't exactly typical of what you'd think for a hookup (emotionally intimate, I guess?). Today we got on the topic of hiking and I mentioned my fav state park & she said she was planning to go there over spring break and said she'd love to bring me with her... which That is a level of accepting me in her life that I think is not typical of just a one-off hookup kinda thing.

So like... idk if we r skirting around the possibility of a relationship?? Or if we r setting up to be friends with benefits?? Would it be exclusive??? Open??? Assuming there's any kind of relationship at all??????

Idk. It feels like there's Something there. I don't know what she wants out of it. I kinda don't even know what I want out of it. But it'd feel a little weird to pursue smth else when we're in this nebulous area... it wouldn't be cheating bc it's not like we're dating, but I'd also hate it if we Did end up dating (exclusively) and then I'd have to give up someone else........

Idk. I wasn't expecting to hit it off with someone like this. I'm still pretty burnt out on serious romance, so I don't want to just jump right into a new thing. I just know that I like talking with her and I'll probably want to sleep with her again. Beyond that...

I dont know. It's all so confusing.

[mai-mai-lim]

"What do you wish for?"

An all-dialogue birthday work for Ashley Jang.

A/N: yup, i am.... very late on this. It was supposed to post a week around her actual birthday (July 20th) and what day is it today? ... yeahhhh

and because im actually proud, here's the post that only has the artworks.

--- “Saengil chukha hamnidaaa~”

“Happy birthday Hye-chun! Make a wish yea? What do you want?”

“I-i want-”

“Shh, dont say it out loud, or else your wish wont come true!”

“Alright, do it like this. Close your eyes and say your wish, not out loud. And then blow it all out.”

“You did it!!! Now we can eat the cake!!”

“Yaaayy!! Cake time!!”

"Alright, here give these to the elders first, these should be enough.”

“Oh look who’s coming for the cake!! So eager, its not your turn yet, Seung-jae.”

“Aw.”

“Auntie!! Have a cake!”

“Its alright, you can give it to Seung-jae.”

“Bleh, he has to wait! Mama said so!”

“Hey!!!”

“Haha, kids these days…”

--- “Do you like your lunch here?”

“I love it!! I’ve never been to a buffet here before. It’s quite nice!”

“Glad you love it. Also, we ordered a slice of red velvet cake for you. Happy birthday my girl.”

*gasps* "Thank you!!”

“So do you wanna make a wish? I mean, we can ask for a candle-”

“No need, I can just wish in my heart and just, eat the cake you know?”

“Oh yes yes. Haha, you are growing up, don’t feel like doing that anymore isnt it?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Hm? What’s wrong, dear? Are you ok?”

“Oh, it’s just…, I was thinking of the old times back then. There was a time when Uncle Ethan brought us to the island for my birthday years ago! It was really fun.”

“That was years ago? Time sure flew fast… ” 

(How long… did the accident happen? Hold on, this year is… oh. They were gone… for more than a year…)

“...I, I actually miss them, it’s just not the same anymore…”

“Y-yeah, I miss them too.”

“*sighs* let’s not think about that today, alright?”

“Sorry, I sort of brought down the mood on my own day.”

“No no, dear, you didn’t. It’s understandable. Come on, the cake’s not gonna get eaten by itself, no?”

--- “Heeeeeeyyyy!! Happy 21st Birthday Ashley!!!”

“There it is, the magic number!! Now can fully do whatever you want liao!”

“Whoa, you guys…”

“21 leh! I see people always make 21 years old extra special one, so we also made it like this for you, with balloons, deco, food, also matcha cake, one of your favourites!”

“T-thank you.”

“Wait, actually back in your home, you are considered 22 is it? Must be confusing.”

“I mean, I’m studying here, may as well follow how you guys count.”

“Well, fair enough. Also I just noticed you got your hair dyed! Looks pretty!”

“Thanks, been wanting to do that for a while.”

“So, any wishes you made?”

“I dunno man, I just wanna survive another school year, then it’s off to… wherever we go after grad-”

“Shush!! Too early to think bout the future! Let’s just celebrate your day, afterwards we go for karaoke, k?”

“It’s more like, are we gonna stay in touch after grad?”

“Like I said, it’s too early to think that! Course I hope we stay in touch, but who knows?”

“Ok ok fine, soooo, I heard karaoke just now~”

“The cake can wait then, let’s go!!!”

--- “Hey, you guys actually know Ashley’s birthday is coming up soon?”

“Wait really? Huh, never knew that. She didn't really tell anyone that.”

“Ooo, why dont we gave her a lil’ surprise then?”

“And that’s what im thinking about! Let’s start planning…”

- “Haaaaaaaaaappy birthday girlypop!!”

“Heard today is your special day, gurl! We planned this few days ago just to give ya the best of the best!”

“... oh my god…”

“Yup, I asked around and got your favorite cake flavor too!”

“Red velvet, eh, I guess it’s alright…”

“*whispers* He found it from the finest cake shop and stole it.”

“What the- Don’t tell her that!!!”

“There are also presents given from some of us who couldn't come, but they wished ya too."

"I... I didn't expect this, all of this really. T-thank you, all of you..."

"Aw, don't mention it! You are one of the coolest people I met here, may as well returning the favor. By the way, did you wish for something?"

"Bet it's gonna be loads of plushies- ow, hey!!"

"Uh you are completely wrong. I'm not telling you all then."

"BOOOOOO"

. . .

(Besides, that wish had already came true, and they are right in front of me.)

---

Formatted text for whose speaking: Pink - Ashley, Blue - Seungjae, Orange - Brutus, Green - Cameron, Non-colored text in part 4 - Jinjer

[bluebirdlester]

notes & thoughts from philm club 10/19/15!

THIS IS SOOO NOSTALGIC TO ME this is the era where i was catching most younows live! i am 95% sure i saw this live at 15 years old! i am 24 now! i have included a vintage phanniecore image from the time period! lets reflect!

dan ripped his jeans at tatinof leeds. so the wad time wasnt the first time

anahita mentioned omg where is she now. with her 20 trillion younow bucks or whatever that stuff was

“you know what i mean” and fluffing his hair in that one specific way is 2015 dan’s “what can i say” while checking an invisible watch

friendiversary. oh babes......

“we’re pal creators” :)

another thing dan used to say: “this guy” while staring into the camera and gesturing at phil. nowadays he just screams

“went to sheffield, that was lols” dan loves to say shit

WHAT DID DAN WHISPER. INFURIATINGLY ALMOST AUDIBLE. LIP READING EXPERTS ?

“ive had the fire on” potential gas leak stream, love you london apartment 1

WHY DID IT TAKE THEM 30 MINUTES TO MENTION THAT APPARENTLY TABINOF HAS JUST COME OUT?

‘as if you guys have coffee tables for our book’ WE DO NOW BITCH, WE'RE OLD! (i dont. actually.)

instantly calling it the bible. well that hasnt changed. the phible

OH MY GOD I HAVE SUCH VIVID MEMORIES OF TAKING AND HAVING PICTURES OF MYSELF WITH THE INSIDE COVER OVER MY FACE LIKE THAT. BUT I JUST SPENT LIKE 20 MINUTES LOOKING AND ABSOLUTELY CANNOT FIND THEM!!!!! lost media.

i did find this though: a relic of the time. 2015 snapchat face swap filter, anyone? [i do want to post this accursed artifact bc its funny but not without having directly next to it: im a grown man now, dont she/her me]

dan describing phils eye color i could never think you were straight my 2015 king

"well done phiw" words i remember deep in my soul

not directly related to anything happening, i just thought about it: i saw a post the other day about how dan and phil spent their 20s being silly for the enjoyment of 12 year old girls on the internet and have been thinking about it ever since. i just wanna hold space for a moment of appreciation for that. idk if it was yalls experience but i got a lot of misogyny based shame of my interests because of the whole societal "anything a teen "girl" likes must be inherently ridiculous and made fun of mercilessly" thing [especially related to dnp watching] but they never had any sort of resentment for that position never did anything but be patient with us and love us and give us nice things to chew on. thank you danphil <3

"get over it. get over it. get over it. get over it. you cynic. get over it. right right right right so what? he enjoys a themed drink from a coffee chain thats everywhere. get over it, get over it." dan relax. why do i remember this specific part so vividly. was this in a vyou1 compilation that i watched over and over like cocomelon

dan on evan peters in AHS: "id be his victim" i see you

47:30 PHIL IMITATING DAN'S HAND GESTURES WHILE HE TALKS ABOUT THE WALKING DEAD I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS CLIP A FEW WEEKS AGO BUT HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE TO GO LOOKING FOR IT!!!!!!!

god this was the era of free and haikyu real ones remember dans body pillow

pop culture of 2015 reviews

"phils got an agenda!" why do i rememeber posting "phil has the gay agenda" after he said that. we were so annoying in the 2015 times

chair quiz all depends on the first question. if im hungry its cheese and i get purple. if not its trees and i get green

phil "sneaking in" a "phil and dan" hes so cute

them snorting at each other "that was a deep sinister pig" they have never changed

(THIS POINT ONLY) TIT PRESHOW PLAYLIST SPOILERS IF ANYONE GIVES A FUCK the way they loved our singing to toxic so much that they make sure to give us a big singalong right before the show on every preshow playlist now.... hot to go <3. i heard a recording of an early show where it was good luck babe and thankfully i think they realized that good luck babe is really hard to sing and made it hot to go ever since then

time to get parasocial dan used all his phone data so he had to use phils hotspot. surely they just have the same phone plan now

WAD foreshadowing my boy is talking about the apocalypse

phil is going to go cook dinner??? an era before deliveroo??

dan talking about uploading on dinof it was a different time

ok those are my thoughts!!! im a newish phannie blog (not really. i had one on my old account in the 2015 era which i dont want to use anymore cause i was 15.) so welcome feel free to hang out etc

[sankttealeaf]

some band au ruetash thoughts bc i am obsessed with their fucked up dynamic :3

they have matching tattoos. rue has little rue flowers along her collarbones. gortash has a little flower where ever i can remember to draw it (its looking like his upper arm or maybe behind his ear. somewhere hidden)

rue also has gortash's handprint on her arm and he has hers somewhere else on him, a little bit smaller and more hidden away. dont look too deep into the meaning of that

hooked up a few times weeks before rue signed up to be under gortash's management. and then a few months into that professional relationship she moved in with him (it was cheaper than paying rent for a shitty studio apartment when she could use that money to put back into her singing career)

she has his card details memorised. want pizza? no worries, it's on gortash

rue also has a few songs she's written about gortash (some nice, some not so nice) that will never see the light of day because theyre "too vulnerable"

gortash was in a band in his 20's. he has scrubbed all knowledge of that from the internet because if anyone found out he would be cancelled so many times

(also fits the lyric from motion sickness by phoebe bridgers "and you were in a band when i was born" bc unfortunately... age gap ruetash in this and thats a song i think rue would sing in this au)

rue jumps between genres a lot. gortash tells her its a good idea to do early in her career so she can see what performs best and use that. she enjoys showing off how she's good in any genre she sings in

in some of her early songs recorded under gortash's management she gets him to do backing vocals. its kind of sweet, actually

rue has a draft of what she would post if she and gortash were to ever break up. lines include "he took advantage of me at my most vulnerable" and "i am so upset at how i was treated, both as a client and as a partner". she's unsure if she should drop this as a notes app message or film a video using it as a script so she can pretend to cry to really sway public opinion into siding with her

on the opposite side, gortash has several emails drafted and ready to send to big magazines and news outlets documenting rue's anger issues and her treatment of workers/techies/the general public, so he can smear her name and ruin her career

they love each other really :)

[zuureleena]

i drew the mercs, miss pauling, admin, and my tf2 oc on the plane to uni 😭

i did all of these a week ago and completely forgot to post them HAJAHAH miss p, the admin, and a rlly simplified ver of my tf2 oc miss lynn!! (zoey lynn hehe + js rambles abt her) under the cut

IM ACTUALLY REWORKING HER DESIGN RNNNN bcs i made her on the sims 4 LMAO and realised how much better and concise she looked, but i really wanna try and make her look like someone you'd js see irl? sooOOo tryna make her also recognisable from silhouette alone and blahablahblah tho she isn't the kind of character that would rlly make too much of a difference in the tf2 universe

i js wanted to make a loveable character LMAO who'd have more of an impact on the relationships and kinda the story?

i liked the idea of miss p having an extroverted bestfriend who's also her wingwoman bcs miss pauling is obvs an awkward lesbian mess who needs help in the love department, and vice versa bcs zoey is into scout and miss pauling is js so glad to have him move on n realise that they r better as friends!! and that he needs to be with someone who isn't annoyed by him 24/7 (IM SORRY, LWNAKS MY SELF-INSERTEDNESS GOT IN THE WAY HAHAHAHA I CANT HELP IT) also, i haven't rlly thought of any orientation for zoey... i'm thinking of her js being a het woman or js whatever u wanna interpret her as!! cuz her sexuality isn't a core thing abt her

she's an absolute harbinger of chaos who'd do anyt for money and some company (this girl has been hella lonely n stressed out of her mind and i'll explain why in an oc post🤭🤭) and even tho she never outright admits it, she does enjoy the freedom of violence she gets to have as a mann co assistant 😭 (which will ALSO make sense when i explain her background to u guys later on)

and bcs of her long experience w shady bosses and asshole customers she's had to deal within all the jobs she's had, she catches onto the administrator's whole thing with the australium fairly early into the job, but she's in tooooo deep now and is like "damn. do i get myself out of this fucked up job (that i am fucked up enough to actually enjoy) or do i stay bcs i literally have everything i've ever wanted....shit." like,, she did say she'd do anyt for money but at the cost of what 😭 [also MAN i wish we got that final comic so i can js make zoey's suspicions make sense??!?@ but in a way it js works bcs it's js this massive mystery that we don't even know of ourselves???? so likeee, im js assuming its smth rlly dangerous or smth bcs helen literally goes to the most insane lengths to get australium and finish off her final... thingy.. that uh DEBT is it... i forgot what she called it BUT WHATEVER BUSINESS SHE HAD TO ATTEND TO B4 SHE DIED QOABJASH]

OH AND YEAH, zoey hates how bossy the admin is and is an ass abt it at times, and the admin wants zoey gone so badly bcs shes an annoying little shit (which she is and honestly, her and scout can be annoying shits tgt <3) but miss p always convinces her to keep zoey BAGAHAHA and they do get things done much faster w zoey there sooOoOOo 🌝🤭

i mean she does try to kill both miss p & l anyway but still, she can't deny that they r both good at what they do

BWOSBQJS BYE I DONT THINK ANYONE IS GONNA READ THIS AHAGAH BUT THANK YOU IF U DID 😭 I HAVE SM ABT ZOEY AND I RLLY WANT HER TO BE LOVEABLE AUGHWGS

[rah-nee-yah]

i literally planned to post this like two weeks ago but i was scared people would think im delusional (i am, actually)

BUT im on a high rn after that vi clip and im just bouncing off the walls and im actually so excited and after linkin park was finally announced to be part of the ost i really wanted to post this…

but what if chappell roan is the mystery artist on the ost…

I KNOW WHAT UR PROBABLY THINKING BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT DUDE (this is a joke pls dont take this seriously 🙏🙏)

HERE IS MY EVIDENCE:

i made a post of how chappell and jinx have a joan of arc inspired getup

this one is obviously a very big stretch because anyone can reference joan of arc, so i would like to turn your attention to her vma performance.

first off, the obvious reference is she has two braids for jinx. but lets observe the prop she has in her hands. a crossbow headed for a castle…almost a parallel to an ultra mega death rocket hitting a certain council building…

when she shoots the crossbow, spark effects form an X and the lighting turns BLUE, not an expected red or orange, again another reference to jinx.

i think what really made me start developing this theory is this pose chappell does. she does it twice during the performance. i think it might be a reference to jinx’s obsession with guns and this little moment. also why tf would she go out of her way to make this pose?? when she’s singing in this part, she isn’t saying the lyric “shoot another shot” (which is when u would expect her to make this pose).

this may also explain why track ten has been hidden. around a year ago, when someone from arcane said they were in contact with a big artist, which im assuming is linkin park (theyre ranked like 34 on spotify), chappell wasnt a huge celebrity yet. it wasnt until around april that she really started to gain popularity, and i mean A LOT of popularity, probably to almost the same degree as linkin park. at this point, the team prolly just decided to hide her song for shits and giggles like they did with the linkin park song.

anyways this is the part where my theory is based off pure no evidence speculation and personal indulgence, but if this ends up coming true, i hope her song ‘subway’ is the one for arcane cuz it fits caitvi so well and i need that banger released NEOW. not to mention, if it is track ten, it would be played in the middle of the season, which is during the speculated caitvi divorce arc. (also, im pretty sure chappell started performing the song in early june and yk what else came out early june?? THE ARCANE S2 TEASER)

either way, it probably isnt chappell roan (EVEN THOUGH I WOULD LOVE IF IT WAS). im dying to know who the track ten song belongs to. why is it still hidden?? is it somehow an artist bigger than linkin park?? someone mentioned rihanna since fenty worked with riot on mel’s design, and i really like that idea (although it is DEF not happening rihanna is too big of an artist). now that i think about it, i would love a song about mel…

anyways this is a complete shitpost (that i spent WAY too much time on) if ur reading this and somehow put up with me yapping about my delusions, thank you ur a real one 🫡🫡

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

And that... Is the end of Flawed.

Or the one I hosted for my silly event here anyway.

[ TL;DR under read more: The lack of interest and stress I got from irl matters led me to drop the event and ending it early, but! I have a blog made for the sake of continuing/restarting the event.

Please vote on the poll if you want it to be catered to the reader or stick to Yesterday, and be unbiased, too. Vote what you want, and I'll try and make it happen.]

CONTEXT UTC:

So, I know you guys have a lot of questions, and I can't blame you. I know the biggest one in your mind right now, which is:

Why did I end Flawed early?

The reason why I ended Flawed was actually multiple. Please keep in mind that these are for my observations, and overall I'm not blaming anyone for this. I just noticed it and thought I should bring it up lol.

1. Writing for days burnt me out.

Although Flawed is a passion story/project of mine, writing so much burnt me out. And by a lot. There were days I struggled to think of writing because I have other commitments to do, and sometimes its why polls came out super late or super early. I tried to compensate for it by posting 1 poll a day, but when it didn't work, I pushed myself to make more for 1 day.

I wanted so badly for the whole event to flow like a CYOA because by next month (April), I won't be free to host this as I used to with OLC. However, in that process, I burnt myself out to the point I needed to take longer breaks/forget this event.

It sucks. I would not recommend doing this if you think you want to (because it is NOT worth it).

2. Interactions were... Lacking.

This event is interaction heavy, and the reason why is because you guys control the story that Yesterday and others are in. Naturally, this also affects the characters and how I shape Flawed from start to finish. I have a plot line for it, of course, but the interactions were... Not there.

I noticed the usual ones from my mutuals, sure, but there were moments that I felt like I was simply posting to no one. It was unfortunate during the time with Diluc, where I had hoped that some of you would go, but due to complications (ahem, the votes weren't able to decide on going when the deadline was up), I had to write how it's supposed to go with some... Changes.

It also made me feel sad to see that there weren't much (if at all) interactions to Yesterday. Tinuvion received a fair bit, which is nice because he's a little shit (please bully him lol), but Yesterday after the first week and a half just... Didn't get any. At least, in my records.

I'm not saying this to guilt you guys to interact more, but I am saying this because it feels sad for me to see that unlike OLC, this... Flopped. I had a lot of responses + moments planned if it took off that much, but... Oh well. There's always that one story that won't hit for everyone.

And finally:

3. Maybe you guys wanted it to be catered to you, not to an OC.

I had a feeling that, from the start, Flawed may not take off.

Unlike One Last Call (which was a matchup event + story), Flawed was a CYOA but you guys aren't the main focus/MC, Yesterday (my oc) is. I was hoping that with this method, you guys get to play the omnipotent voice and see how far the story can go until it's conclusion.

However, as I hosted the event for the next few days to weeks, I realized that it was simply too difficult. Maybe I wasn't prepared to host this type of format, as ambitious as it is, but I realized that maybe, you guys don't deserve this format and I should've made it catered to a reader insert instead.

It was hard for me to swallow the pill that this event may not be fun for the majority. I knew that having an OC be the MC + canon characters interact with them may be flaky at best (esp the whole OC x Canon being... well. very much a huge "oh dear"), but seeing minimal interaction/interest than my friends were (and people I admire, too. Hi Harmony! o/!!) and realizing that maybe I shouldn't have done this just... Made me regret it.

For that, I'd like to say:

I'm so, so sorry that this event failed. I'm very sorry if you guys expected it to be like OLC: about the reader/reader insert format.

I know it's not right for me to apologize, but I feel that I have to. I let all of you down, and I don't want you guys to be disappointed in something that you all don't like to see in this blog.

So I decided that I'll run this event in its own blog, but here's the thing.

I don't know if I should keep Yesterday in the blog.

I have to open up a poll for this, so here's the options you guys have for it's fate:

If you guys want it to be a reader insert game (aka you are the main star, not Yesterday), I will set up a menu to BUILD your personal darling.

This means that you guys get to decide how darling will look, the gender, their preferences, and even their job. However, this will be for your darling, and if darling dies, you can't use them anymore.

PROS: This is catered to the reader, and thus, you guys are the ones to choose your own destiny. I won't be the one to decide this time, and if the majority agrees on a specific option, your darling will do just that. This is also more open for variety + reader/canon interaction because I know some of you would have a lot of fun being able to see yourselves in the story.

CONS: When your darling dies, you get the chance to restart. However, the game will continue on with a new darling you guys will have to make and the stats reset to zero. The characters will also mention your past darling, and you'll have to restart from scratch. I still need to tweak this, but just know that it is VERY tricky for you if your first darling dies.

If you guys want it to stay the same (Yesterday is the MC), the format will remain the same.

This means what you witnessed here in the blog WILL happen on the other blog.

PROS: You guys get to either continue or restart with Yesterday's story, and with newfound knowledge, you get to choose more options that were previously unavailable. This also opens up to you all being able to essentially shape Yesterday's outlook + what'll happen to them, because you are the one guiding them to their happy ending.

CONS: This one does not offer a restart like the reader insert (one try only), and this could result to another "this'll flop because many people aren't interested". We've seen it happen here, so please decide wisely.

If you guys want BOTH, the format will be different as you have the option to build a darling (reader insert) or stick to Yesterday's story.

This means there will be a new system for both options to be available, alongside new menus!

PROS: You guys get to have a chance of an 'easy route' or 'hard route' and all of you can use your experience/s to get your desired ending for either one <3 go crazy lol

CONS: If you choose one of the two options for both, the latter will be locked. That's the only consequence I have for this one tbh.

So yes, I'd like to say thank you, and sorry for the fail of Flawed on this blog. I wish I could give you all the quality like in OLC, but there were... Too many things to consider. Sobs.

If you guys still want to continue, please lmk. I worked hard on Flawed and I still want to continue, but this time, its a permanent event and will be on my own pace.

Thank you for your support. Again. And I'll see you guys next time (be it a random fic or the next event <3)

[spacesymbol]

heyyyyy. crazy month and a half, am i right? 😅

my sincerest apologies for the truckload of reblogs.... plus even more sincere apologies if i reblogged a very old post of yours that you forgot about 😭

ive had those sitting in my drafts for a WHILE so that they wouldnt get drowned in my likes.... but i have some weird mental hangup about posting here without also posting a Life Update..... but i kept procrastinating actually writing a Life Update..... so here we are!!

anyways. that being said. LIFE UPDATE TIME!!!!! (no cut since theres actually some very important stuff in here)

first and somewhat foremost, i submitted SEVEN college applications exactly a month ago. for context, my entire applying list (as of right now) is only nine schools. and i procrastinated SO HARD on the application materials.... it was soooo bad. basically mid october to early november was the most stressed i have ever felt in recent memory 😁👍 and i coped with it soooo well, as i historically always do (sarcasm)

the fall play(s) also recently came and went!!! the rehearsal process wasnt that bad, it was moreso just anxiety provoking since i was constantly saying "yeah it (the show) will come together eventually" even when opening night was a few days away... but the show(s) did come together!! at least, my two scenes did. i honestly can't speak for anyone else, but my scenes both went fine during all three performances with minor errors, if any

although, the week of performances and the last few days of tech was so very brutal. i had to be in the theater until 8pm or later every single day of that week (november 18th to the 23rd), which meant i was in school for over twelve hours each school day. i had to put a lot of things on the backburner to focus on the show (and not losing my mind) that week, and schoolwork was one of them.... so i am currently once again in overdue assignments hell. my classes have been fine other than that though!!!

my mental, emotional, and physical health also definitely have been on the backburner for a WHILE now.... a wonderful example is how i havent seen my therapist in two months now, and for context, im supposed to see her once a week!!! so im clearly doing fine (sarcasm). its weird though, the play honestly wasnt that distressing for me, since i had already hit mental rock bottom earlier that month because of college applications

my physical health has also Not Been Good at all.... one of my scenes in the play (the gay one) involved a shit ton of stage falls.... and our stage is made of polished wood. we took all the necessary precautions to protect my bad knee (knee pads), but that didnt do much to prevent the ridiculous amount of bruising all over my body that i still have a week after the final show.....

eating has also been Bad. but i wont go into details about that 🫶 ive been able to keep having regular appointments with my dietitian, so genuinely dont worry about that. i will be fine!!

ive also been like. mentally checked out for a while, i guess. like i mentioned, ive been doing some research into dissociative disorders and symptoms to get more clarity on if im a system or not (which i do have an answer on btw), and i think the best term to describe it is depersonalization?

and uh. okay this is actually really important. about the system thing, i came to the conclusion after a LOT of research and self reflection that i do not think i am (or ever was) a plural system. i dont think i should post the entire esaay i wrote on how i came to this conclusion (because i dont think most of you want to read all that). but if any mutuals want, i am MORE than happy to dm the whole explanation, since i know it might raise some eyebrows that i suddenly dont identify that way anymore

however, the tldr is that im pretty sure i have dissociative amnesia instead, because i never once experienced amnesia between the personas that i thought were alters, and these personas were never really that separate from me, moreso extensions of me in terms of personality, if that makes sense. there were also some.... quirks of how my "system" operated that also made me suspicious, like how i was basically always frontstuck, and how my "frequent fronters" ALWAYS aligned with my interests at the time. i honestly think that i only arrived at the conclusion that i was a system in the first place because of the environment i was in at the time (the majority my friends at the time had the system realization and were talking about it), and the fact that no one ever really questioned me being one. which im NOT saying that i wish people had, since thats rightfully a very rude thing to do, but i definitely would have benefited from someone kindly calling all that into question, yknow?

the biggest takeaway though, should be that i didnt know until very recently. there is a world of difference between intentionally lying about being a system, and unknowingly being wrong about being a system. the MOMENT i started to suspect that i was wrong, i made it known here (in the previous Life Update) and on twitter, and i refrained from using any system terminology for myself until i came to a definitive conclusion, which i only did recently. additionally, i recently removed the system section from my pronouns dot cc, and my simplyplural account is still up, but obviously not in use

ummm. other personal updates.... im hopefully going to start legal and medical transition soon?? my stepsister (also trans) has been pushing my mom and stepdad for it as a result of the election, which sparks the conversation for me by extension

as you can probably tell by the majority of the recent reblogs, the release of season 2 reawakened my dormant arcane hyperfixation 😭 it somehow came back even stronger??? if any of you happen to remember my jayvik posting from november 2021, you deserve a spacesymbol elders discount....

what else..... oh um!!!! i had an awesome joe cool (snoopy) costume for halloween this year that i made extremely last minute :)

okay. okay!!!!!!! in terms of the future!!!! im on thanksgiving break right now until this tuesday and the break is Extremely welcome.... the spring musical (aka my final high school theater show) has already been announced, and its curtains, which should be exciting, but i dont have to think about that for a While....

in terms of like Immediately upcoming things, my schools robotics team has our first qualifier coming up so im gonna have to lock in on preparing for that soon.... for college stuff, i should be getting two decisions fairly soon (one from my early decision school and one from a rolling deadlines school), and i have two more applications for early january, but all i really have to do for them is finish writing their supplements..... so HOPEFULLY i should be slightly more active on here??? i feel like every time i say that i end up jinxing myself for inactivity, though. so honestly, who knows!!! but i dont really have as much of a Pressing Reason to not be active here, i guess

thats all.... jesus fuck i wrote a lot. my bad!!! no wonder i procrastinated writing this GODDAMN!!!!

[clatoera]

In a world where they celebrate christmas in panem, would you have any Christmas headcanons for arwbftb au?

OH BOY DO I EVER. first of all sorry this took so long I have had a wild few weeks (months) at work and simply have done nothing but sleep and work but I have a lot of conversations on this website and I had EXTENSIVE conversation with @districtonekisses about this exact topic and so many of these come from our lil messages back and forth okay i'll put under a cut incase these get long!

This is obviously like a late ARWBFB like post war because I dont think pre war thats really something they'd have the option of celebrating. Glimmer and Cashmere and Finnick would be sold as Capitol Christmas gifts. It would be bad it would not be holly jolly.

Okay so Christmas as a concept is a D1 holiday. It is those D1 girls who go hard with the decorations. They Floor to Ceiling decorations. I think Cashmere is very white Christmas very glamor very white and silver sparkles not a lot of color. Glimmer I think has pastels mostly pinks and golds. It's giving like glamorous gingerbread house if that makes sense. But yes those D1 girlies they go hard and frankly they compete, if one has four trees the other has six. I think Cashmere has fake trees though because she hates the needles but Glimmer has real ones because she likes the size differences and the smell.

Glimmy looooves christmas. She loves it, it's absolutely her favorite holiday. She decorates so early and falls into actual depression when its time to take it all down again. It's just so cozy and comforting to her to live this so feely. In fact, some of the best sleep she gets all year is when there are multiple trees with soft white lights in her living room while she curls up on her couch.

Glimmer wins when she claims having Christmas celebrations at her house. Cashmere hosts a lovely, sophisticated Christmas Eve party. Glimmer wants the holiday itself. She wants the magic.

Cashmere is the best at gift giving.

It would make sense for it to be in D2 because they are in the mountains and have significant snow and cold weather EVERY year like clock work. D1 also gets that, but not to the same level of D2. That being said, if it were in D2, nothing would get done because Cato would see snow and a hill and he, Marvel, and arguably anyone else with half a brain cell would be sledding on plastic lids.

...they do it in d1 anyway. Someone gets a concussion or a broken wrist. Happy Holidays!

Clove doesn't like the cold weather, not only does it remind her of the games, but it absolutely hurts in a post war life. That being said, Clove has never had a good experience of holidays or birthdays. it was never her thing. Noone celebrated her ever, her grandmother certainly wasn't finding any joy in the world without her daughter. She is fine relinquishing it to Glimmer and just..going to D1.

That being said...Clove still has to cook. Glimmer has her over a day or two before where she like mass preps. She tried sending Marvel and Cato to do the grocery shopping once or twice. That ceased by the third time they came home with living lobster which wasnt on her list at all.

Cashmere tries to hire catering, this DEEPLY offends clove. She absolutely loves to Cook and more importantly she is cooking for her family and noone can do that better than her.

The wine drunk christmas eve party means noone wakes up until like..11 am on Christmas day.

Glimmer is big on the matching pajamas thing-- no one indulges her but Marvel and Cashmere. By extension they can rope Gloss in. Enobaria is a firm no, even to Cashmere's big sad eyes, which is a rarity.

The Christmas cookies go hard, likely imported from Peeta. Gloss gets physically sick from how many gingerbread houses he eats one year.

Cato LOVES Christmas, he is soo tis the season about it, him and Glimmer weirdly go mutually hard for this holiday.

Speaking of Glimmer, she enlists (requires) Marvel and Cato to put up her decorations on the tallest points of her house. She gives big sad teary looks and reminds them how sad she was in the war and they're like..okay glimmer yes glimmer anything for you glimmer.

As with most holidays, it highlights how important Clove is to these people who have become her family. It's a life she never would have imagined having as a little girl.

[ryuubff]

I saw your post about headcanons about Solomon, so what are your favorite headcanons for him ?

IM SO SORRY I JUST SWW THIS BC MY NOTIFICATIONS ARE ABSOLUTELT FLOODED but here are some of my current headcanons that i like to think about!!! FEEL FREE TO SEND ANY HCS OR EXPAND ON MINE !!

- you know how he constantly says Im kidding whenever hes flirting or being romantic with you … me thinks hes just trying to convince himself that those interactions are simply just that because the thought of actually falling in love with mc means that he would ultimately end up watching someone he loves Actually grow old and pass on while he still remains

- household chores between you both sre split into sol doing the cleaning and purchasing of groceries while you do all the cleaning and while he prolly grumbled abt not being able to cook for you early on in the early days of your cohabitation he ends up enjoying it bc he gets to eat your cooking this time !! AND NOT THE BROTHERS!!!

- he prolly has a lil self esteem issue bc one thing i absolutely love is that he realizes himself that you have no reason to pick him because youre surrounded by literal powerful beings and ultimately hes just a human …… because what could he offer you ? (my poor sol 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

- AGAIN i have posted this before but he would literally burn down the whole world for you HELL its canon that he started a war before in the devildom for a week to the point that it got turned into a date now celebrated every year + (SPOILERS FOR LESSON 11) he almost straights up murder lucifer using the grimoire and is willing to fight against them even though it could very well mess up the future timeline

- whenver you have a nightmare you go to his room and he comforts you by holding you close and telling you one of his stories until you fall asleep!!! he also gives you a lil forehead smooch

- other than the cafe visits and spoiling you with gifts from stores that dont exist in the og timeline, his ultimate favorite is being able to come home to you at the end of a long day

ok thats all i can think of and even then my writign is not very articulate in this one because ifs 3 am and my brain is fried….. but thank u for asking omgg id love to hear anyone’s hcs for our lovely magic man sol 🥹

[twistedastrology]

🪐 my take on the outer planets 🪐

---------------------------------------------------

saturn is constantly given a bad rap just because it does its job- saturn's placement in your chart isn't always a bad thing- it can signify difficulties in that area of your life, yes, but it can also tell you what you have unwavering resolve in (especially if you're saturn ruled or saturn is positively aspected)

for example, my saturn is in my 1st house in leo (cancer rising) and I've seen people say that saturn in the 1st house can indicate a fear of growing old or being lonely, whatever- my personal experience with this placement is, ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you i am fucking petrified of losing myself- losing my mind, losing who i am and dying early are my worst fears (dreams in which im dying are NOT the best ive ever had 😮‍💨)

but as a result of this, i know myself SO well. i do think saturn in the 1st house can indicate issues with finding yourself IF it's afflicted, which mine isn't (thank god 💔💔💔)

im also very scared of growing out of touch with the world around me- dont get me wrong, i love being a hermit, but if im ever that old man that can't understand trends or whatever and is overly cynical of younger generations... dawg- take me the fuck out 😕

uranus i LOOOOVEEEEE and i think it stands for so much more than just rebellion- my uranus has a LOT of power in my chart (so does my neptune but they're in mutual reception 😮‍💨) because my moon is cusped (1° pisces, but i feel both pisces and aquarius influence 💔), and it and my mercury im pretty sure are why i think backwards as fuck- (fun fact, my mercury is FIRMLY direct but it likes to act like it's in retrograde 💔💔💔💔)

but!! more interestingly, i have a very specific mental process where whenever im goin thru it, i cant stay goin thru it for a while- if my brain is fucked up for a little too long and i start getting pissed about it, my uranus takes over and legitimately propels me through the pain in almost an instant. i could be going through something for weeks and once i start getting pissed about it or legitimately bored of it, the next day it's like nothing ever happened BUT i still learned from it

ofc I have to do something to trigger that effect, which is where my mars in cancer comes in and i do a workout to tap into the physical catharsis and BOOM, go to bed and wake up the next day a new man 🙏🙏🙏 god bless 🙏🙏🙏

neptune Ok i am not entirely sure what made whoever said neptune is the higher octave of venus think that but I've never been able to see it. this might be controversial as hell but neptune is the higher octave of the moon to me and jupiter is the higher octave of venus. THAT BEING SAID-

neptune is an absolutely fascinating planet to me lately and im not sure why- i do have a couple transit aspects with it right now but ive wanted to write about it literally all day now- U KNOW i might love it so much bc it's in my 8th house actually that would make sense- ANYWAY-

neptune to me is the source of all the visions from god i get, especially my creative ones- (source: it came to me in a vision from god.) the moon is a very creative placement in my opinion (i have a WILDLY different idea of the moon that i can go over in another post), so neptune follows a similar current, but neptune is higher creativity, higher emotion, etc- it's the planet of spirituality and the absolute depths of our subconscious, like to the point of past lives, that's the kinda shit neptune fucks with

but because it's also the higher octave of the moon, to me it can absolutely represent addictions and vices, everything garbage- personally, my neptune isn't very afflicted at all but i also have a major lack of earth in my chart so i Do find myself experiencing classic neptune-based paranoia sometimes- fuck dude i went neurotic for a week at one point, that was some serious neptune delusion- But my uranus/saturn pulled me back from it, because like i said, saturn makes me petrified of losing myself, so those two joined forces like "ya this shit ain't cool actually take it out back and shoot it"

i might make a post on specifically neptune stuff soon and/or right after this bc the hyperfixation is hyperfixating 💔💔

pluto i FUCK with because it's such a soul searchy planet (my 8th house is very active so ofc i fuck with pluto) in the darkest ways and i love that shit- jonathan davis has his pluto in a fucking mastery degree (29° virgo) and i am to this day like 😦 over it- and it makes SO much sense for him to have PLUTO of all planets in a mastery degree- and i have mine in 26° sag so like im not that far behind... 💔

but dude that's mastery of some SERIOUS transformative powers- that's mastery of the wildly darker shit in life and that is so fucking tight to me- i value that kinda stuff more than anything dude- probably why korn is my fav band (been listening to them as i write this 😭😭)

one thing abt pluto that i DONT agree with tho, and this is more of a scorpio thing BUT i know everyone loves to say scorpios are the sexy signs but dawg... it's cancers... i swear 2 god it's cancers- i will write an entire fucking post on cancers and why i HATE everyone's interpretations of them bc everyone's like "cnanncers are cRYBbaueiis and tHyeyre the most emOtIknal siGnsns 💔💔💔" Bro. Bro. Bro dont do me like that for the love of god. that shit made me hate my rising sign for SO long and also not relate to it!!!! then i started doin my own research and found out "Oh fuck nvm im totally a cancer"

BUT if you look at pluto like the actual God- nowhere in his mythology (that I read anyway- i could be wrong i dont wanna act like i know everything) does it say anything abt him ruling over sex or sumn like that- but everyone says pluto rules over sex!!!!!! Where!!!!!!!!!!! dawg they said he was a god of abundance bc he ruled over the underworld and gems and stuff were found underground 😭😭😭

i do think pluto fucks with taboo shit though But back in the ye olden days when astrology was being developed, sex was not taboo at all, that's a new development that i think uranus fucks with more because uranus is a very future focused planet in my humble opinion

i could definitely keep writing but i think this is already a novel SO- to specify tho, this is all my opinion of the planets, ive read PLEEEEEENTY of books and stuff so by no means do i not know how this shit works, but my uranus makes me rip everything apart and make my own take so 💔

[destinyc1020]

sorry destiny, i am huge tom fan believe me, but i agree with what the anon said, i understand that u can like a movie that others dont thats not what i am saying but out of the MCU and throw in uncharted, tom's acting skills aside because we both hes fantastic, his projects have been misses, in terms of overall quality, reviews & numbers, TDATT, CW, Cherry, TCR. yes u may have liked some of them but numbers were bad, in a sense they flopped. most of these projects he chose when he was still pretty young and green and the only project he chose post covid was i think TCR and it was amazing but people weren't patient and it was slow at first. and i think since then he has grown a lot more and u can tell, its obvious the way he views things and the way hes picking his projects are diff now so hopefully things go well for him in the future in terms of success outside popcorn movies.

I mean, we can all have different viewpoints on films or actors, and that's fine! 🤷🏾‍♀️ I don't think anyone doubts that Tom is talented.

I understand some fans haven't enjoyed his projects in the past several years. I know for me personally, I've enjoyed 90% of Tom's films....whether they were successes at the box office or NOT. Most of his work I didn't even see in theaters. I saw at home.

The only films of Tom that I've actually seen in theaters are The MCU films (of course), The Current War, The Impossible (before I even knew who Tom Holland was lol), Uncharted (of course lol), and Spies in Disguise! Everything else of his, I've seen at home.

RE: TCR....

I actually enjoyed TCR, but if I had one critique, I would say that Akiva took a little TOO long to get to the point and kind of treated us as viewers like we were too dumb to get the "twist". Most of us knew or got the twist w/in the first episode lol. He really could have spent more time focusing on other things imo. Don't get me wrong, I actually think Akiva had a very ingenious, sympathetic, and creative way of showing what's actually going on when someone suffers from DID (and why they may end up having it), and it was done in a way I'd personally never seen done onscreen before. But I just feel like he should have given us as the audience a little more credit. We could have known from the very beginning that he suffered from DID, but maybe not know who exactly his alters actually were. There were many things that could have been done differently. And I think some of the critics purposely gave TCR LOW reviews to spite Akiva, because apparently he didn't even want DID or "multiple personalities" to be written in any of the early reviews coming out for the series, in order to preserve the "twist". But umm.... Everyone saw it coming a mile away bro lol 😅

So...I really think his tactic of trying to keep the audience in the dark felt a bit laborious after a while, and it's like, "WE GET IT man... we've already figured it out!" We didn't need several episodes prolonging things. But hey, I still enjoyed TCR Summer last year lol, and it was very enjoyable to watch Tom in a series (for a change) every single week! 😊

[iced-souls]

Alright, so I’ve had the actual thing finished for like a month or 2 now, but i decided to just wait until after artfight to post cause mmmm.

BUT now that theres like a day left in that, imma post this now for time or something

SOO ANYWAYS THE THING—

As you may possibly already know, i enjoy making the characters. But alas i dont always got the ideas or the want to have to worry about remembering them all the time.

SO! If you would like, you and i can make an exchange.

It’s basically like a character generator but instead of ai it is infact me—

So in my askbox or something, you can just say pretty much whatever you’d like, and I’ll use those to make a character.

Heck if you want you could describe your own character or some other character you like and when i make my version you could compare—

AND THEN. If your like “but iced, i would submit something, but i can’t really think of what to put on the spot.” And then you asked “could you give me a form or something to fill out mayb—“

BADINGBING BADABOOM DO I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU—

I—I made a form…. So feel free to go bonkers apeshit on that—

If you use it then the last question i just asked for your @ or something just so when im done i may credit. But if you dont want me or anyone to know feel free to just put “Anon” or something.

And i double checked and so it shouldn’t collect your email if you are wondering—

So hopefully i dont die from sending this out—

If you want some examples, i tested this out (only asking people to give me objects and stuff tho) on this other app, so here:

Sooooooooo yeah. Enjoy? Have fun? Use your imagination? Submit whatever if ya want? If you do submit when will i finish? Well im posting this a lil early just to let it “pile up” maybe, or simply just to be aware its around. So ill probably start later this week, and then further on whenever i am feeling up to it. So i dunno—

Alrighty. Have a good day!!

[jenanddomo]

6.28.23

11:39pm

hey, its been a long time since i actually put something!

lets start w love life

so i got w my bf lol in early april! he so sweet n cute. he fr has the best version of me he so lucky

the reason y i say he so lucky bc i fr try my hardest not to be ugly or mean to me, he doesn’t deserve that. me n him r doin well :) prob bc it jst the beginning still but even then i tell him everything lol , i told him my darkest secrets n stuff (i thought he was gon be a stranger) but we always havin convos. i sleep w him once a week sometimes two, he so comfortable to sleep with.! i love to be ard him, we do little cute dates n i drove us to the movies to watch elemental it was so cute! so rn thats good

i treat him super good, im super honest w him n i jst cant lie to him:( i tell him the truth eventually. i only lie to him to mes w him like sum stupidddd

but thats that

mentally

i have been doin great actually! i dont feel miserable or depressed, empty, like im so happy now! life is great, i love everyone ard me :) every1 so great their hasnt been anyone so negative uk? im also very real to myself i accepted n jst found peace within myself

so thats good

pets

my two og cats died my spooky n kingking:(

i miss them very much i miss my black n orange cat they were like ying n yang . i miss their cute little personalities they were the best

but now a general

post

lets talk abt what i think and stuff

so i moved on lol as i said i found peace within myself , lookin at the old posts,, gosh who let me cook,,, i saw old posts, messages, and everything n its so crazy how much i changed in 5 months really. lookin at how immature i was , i was so clueless and stupid and lookin back at it now it likes been there uk? it was never a good thing from the get go:) i accepted that, i also accepted i used to be a bad person to but ik i got so much better, the guy im w he makes me want to be a better person.

eating? i dont eat anymore lol, i still eat below like 1000 cals , like every 2 weeks i will eat above it butttt idk! honestly in only this month i lost 8-9 lbs:) so now im 142 yippe yayayay my goal weight is 120-130 so in total i lost 38 lbs which is crazy. when my bf met me i was above 155 so im pretty happy w that

my life been so peaceful and im jst so glad alot of ppl left my life this year before i graduated, n im thankful for those ppl too without yall i wouldnt be who i am today uk? yes i was mad, childish and everything, that part it jst sum i still need to work on bc i do have anger issues. but even then i dont like arguing anymore or jst fightin in general, yea thats what i learned what to do but its not worth it uk? on my insta reels i see some relatable posts that i relate to so much im jst like awh:3

im glad im jst not how i was before uk? rn im jst so calm, i dont feel empty no more , i actually starting to feel motivation to do sum, i want to do sum w my life and i want to help others ard me.

when it was my last day of school, it was supposed to be “sad” but i was so happy bc i donated blood n my blood helped someone:D i was so happyyy like jst helpin other ppl makes me ecstatic.

i also quit smoking so im proud of myself for that:) i do have moments where i wan do it n stuff but im like no drugs bad n the only bad thing i do is drink, but even then im trying to stop that too bc their was one week were i drank everyday but i told myself i dont wan be like my dad so i kind of stopped.

my music taste is different then it was 5 months ago.

i have 2 new cats gizmo n walter.

im jst so happy rn lol i dont know what to say:3

but im glad for what happened to me , im glad i went through stuff when i was a kid, im glad i finally even opened up abt it to someone im jst so glad everything happened bc i jst wouldnt be who i am now

i guess

im just tryin to be a bigger better person

i dont want to be childish no more i dont want to fight i dont want to hit or argue or cause shit on purpose

lately i been emotional but i think

i jst need it bc im jst so glad how open i am w all that stuff rn

i also finished king of the hill lol i dont know if i put that

[sparklehoard]

hear ye hear ye

I am asking you to answer 64-73!

Aaaaaaaa I forgot about this one!! Sorry!!!!

64. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?

Homie that happened 2 whole weeks ago and it'll definitely happen again!

65. Have you ever copied someone else's homework?

Yup. But I've never done it without permission from anyone.

66. Are you the type of person who likes going out or staying at home?

Right now I've wanted nothing but to stay at home. But usually I like going out!

67. Do you automatically check your phone in the morning when you wake up?

Yeah. I wake up early everyday but my one day off. So first thing I see is my alarm. If I didn't check my phone I'd probably fall back asleep.

68.have you ever stayed up all night on your phone?

Not on my phone but it's kept me up pretty late a lot.

69. Could you use some sleep right now?

...I dont think I could use anymore. I'm tired but not physically

70. Are you going to have a baby by the time you're 18?

18???!?!? GOD IM 27 AND I CANT EVEN IMAGINE HAVING ONE....I mean...I mightve...if I had had a partner who could take care of himself. And others. Oiuyhggg that's a whole can of mess I don't want to open on this post ☹️🤢

71. Does it bother you if people hide stuff from you?

Secrets? Yeah sure everyone has those but actual physical things? Please don't.

72. What's your favorite color?

⭐️💛🐤🏵🌻🌼🍋🧈☀️✨️🎖🧽 yellow!

73. Have you ever slept in the same room as someone you liked?

Yeah I used to live in a house with my boyfriend. Same bedroom. Not anymore though.