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Brainiac - I Am A Cracked Machine
#brainiac#i am a cracked machine#tim taylor#john schmersal#juan monasterio#tyler trent#garage punk#art punk#noise rock#hissing prigs in static couture#1996#Youtube
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They left church shortly after
Based on this :
#Help those are supposed to be simple doodle why am I putting more and more effort into those kfkrkr#batim#bendy and the ink machine#alice angel#miss twisted#The âworkâ was originally a typo but then I thought about it and#yeah no Miss Twisted would still be 100% still doing crimes as a regular hobby so present it is#bendy crack up comics#my art#sketchbook#my art 2024
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#arcane league of legends#viktor arcane#viktor the machine herald#viktor#viktor lol#i am trying to recover from act2 when i havent finished the series yet dawg ik im goofy as hell#arcane crack#arcane fanart#goofy times#dtiys#please someone recreate my vision istg
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Lofty crack 'theoryâ (?) idk, itâs more along the lines of the
'I connected the dots!'
'You didnât connect shit' Meme
Everytime MK barely touches something and it falls apart? That's the good olâ Harbinger of chaos touch. Destruction is just woven into his very being and marks his every action.
(Like how he barely touched the pinball machine and it fell apart. And how the crate containing the weird vegetable babies opened up despite the fact that it shouldnât have been possible with how heavily secured it was)
Also the way he accidentally alters the world around him ('summoning a scary monster forest through stress'- still one of my favorite things heâs done tbh. Heâs just such a funny guy. My favorite little disaster.)
Of course- very possible that that this is just cartoon logic. But I think itâs just a funny concept. XD
It's so hard because LMK is teetering on the edge of being SO tight. We just have to acknowledge a couple things from s1/s2 (the key, the 1x01 seal, LBD ''undoing the memories of the world) and then the show has a potential to go from a 9 in my book to an 11.
And like, here's what I mean.
So with 1x03 and the pinball machine you mentioned:
Sandy: "Uh, maybe a little more tape?"
Azure Lion: "All you had to do was wait. After this was over I was going to release Sun Wukong, help him see reason! That is now impossible! Not after what you've done!" Pigsy: "But...we can get him back right? Sandy: "We can fix it! Maybe we can find some magic tape!"
MK: "No noâI broke it. Part of being a hero is owning up to your mistakes."
MK: "Monkey King's a hero he wouldn't just-" Azure Lion: "You saw it with your own eyes! His betrayal his brutalityâhe took the only friends I had from me!"
Sandy: "There ain't nothing a bit of tape can't fix!" (And this is said in an episode titled "A Lifetime of Mistakes")
MK: "We can't fix everything. We just need to leave it a little better than we found it. As long as we stay true to that? We can deal with whatever comes next."
-
SO. LISTING ALL OF THAT TO SAY:
Destruction being woven into his being from s1 is just so plausible. But it's also like, I'm still not a 100% sure about itâbut ALSO, the fucking "No noâI broke it. Part of being a hero is owning up to your mistakes." line is insane. Especially since it's after MK had just broken an object of value in half. Like, look:
SO I JUST DON'T KNOW MAN. Cartoon logic or narrative foreshadowing. I never know with this damn lego show
#I am stuck in this fucking hell forever#but there is for sure a crack motif in this gosh dang show#stupid ass pin machine being split down the middle. stupid ass fft being split down the middle#STUPID ASS STONE#AUGHGHGHGHG#asks#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk parallels#lmk theme: hurt#lmk crack motif#lmk breaking motif#lmk MK#lmk Sandy#thinks about the Sandy line ''why do I break all the things I love'' just a bit too hard
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Can you draw Cuphead on a unicorn đ„ș
You mean like this?
#digital art#babtqftim#cuphead#drawing#fan art#original art#sketch#babitim#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#bendy and boris the quest for the ink machine#quest cuphead#heâs a prince now#fight me#unicorn#wtf am i doing#wtf is going on#like wtf#what the actual fuuuuuck#crack art#funny art#the inky mystery#quest for the ink machine#pretty boi#prince au#? i guess#what am i doin with my life#my art#answered asks#should i do more of these?
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naurrr its my birthday bro...imagine a world without me thatd be so sad LMAO luckily i was born /J
celebratory wip for u guys bc MEOW mcmg
#hapi borfday to me đ
đ
#i can already feel my bones cracking#idk if i wanna state my age bc i feel like so many ppl would be so shocked that theyd riot but#fun fact i am not an adult yet HELP#sighhh close to being one tho UGHHHH ew ew#idk what to tag this as folks#punkoween yaps#mcmg#motor city machine guns#wip#wwe#birthday
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wip wednesday
i have not been very productive lately and i'm frustrated about it so i'm sharing a little snippet of some more valentine whump for fun. she's alive but she's not happy about it. post devil-ending (canon-divergent)
content warning: severe emotional distress, voluntary medical sedative
âAlright. How about you just listen?â another pause. âI came here to talk with you, because I think youâre reacting very reasonably to something very unreasonableââ
grin wide. grimace. laugh like a bullet on pavement.
ââI suppose thatâs a bit of an understatement. But you donât have to be ashamed.â
âFuck you.â
like that, rapid fire. she was burning hot, all over, like molten metal. she was supposed to be dead. now she was a husk. empty. discarded.
âI mean that. I know youâre not feeling much like yourself, and that is not an easy thing. Not easy at all. And you were very careful not to hurt anyone else, Valentinaââ
âNo.â
âYou were very careful, V. Youâre a problem solver. But no one has told you what is happening, and thatâs why Iâm here. Do you understand?â
as if there was any doubt to what the problem was. a problem could not solve itself. just twist inward over and over until it was worn through, until it could be put out of its misery, the miseryâ
no weakness, not here. sharp tooth, silver tongue, smile like a dog about to snap.
âYes.â
âAlright, the first problemâ stay with me, Vââ
teeth creaking like bone: the problem was, the problem was, the problem
âThe first problem, V, is that everything has been thrown at you too quickly. We need to slow things down. This is going to help you feel a little calmer so we can talk. Here, now, I need you to look at me, because Iâm going to show you how it works.â
it was bait for a trap but there was nothing sweeter than oblivion. nothing. (sharp and bitter and sweeter than honey. a body can learn to crave the knife. sharp and strong and quick, don't hesitateâ)
the doctor was smaller than her voice suggested. plain-faced with the most dizzyingly blue eyes âlike the sky, the sky, the badlands sky endless aching gone gone goneâ mercifully professional, as though she were giving a recorded lecture and not facing some huddled scrap of wretched humanity. she was holding a mask, demonstrating the little canister attached, speaking in a buzzing drone, giving assurancesâ
the performance was unnecessary. the mask was light, soft, comforting against the bruised flesh of her cheek. a muzzle for the aching, snapping teeth of despair.
in and out, in and out, in and out.
all the sharp edges of reality filed down to something soft and smooth and tolerable. (you don't get it, but you will. you will. you don't get it, but you will. you don't get itâ)
âFeeling better?â
the doctor did not smile. did not frown. what she felt she kept tucked up and behind her breastbone, her face smooth like the surface of a pond.
âYes.â
no visible vapor in the word, and yet it still thickened the sound. finally, her soul unclenched. she wanted to cry but could not.
she could not. she could notâ
âVery good. Now the second problem, V, is that you donât know whatâs going to happen. Do you want me to tell you?â
despite best effort there was always a time other than now. (still here. Still Here. itâs alright. stop looking.) her eyes were heavy. they could not ask for anything more than sleep. it was all she had to give. perhaps they would realize their mistake, let her slip under and never come back up. there were worse things than death.
there were worse thingsâ
there were, the doctorâs eyes were saying, things that still needed to be done. must be done. would be done.
ââŠyes.â
#wip wednesday#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 fic#just because some feral ai papered over all the cracks in your soul with a dead rockerboy doesn't mean you can call in to work#you can't even leave work actually because they're studying you to see what happens next#i am once again thinking of the allhands call where i and all of my coworkers were casually referred to as human capital đ€Ą#it's a real term but using it to describe people you're ostensibly speaking to sure is a A Choice#anyway who doesn't love making a difficult mental and emotional recovery in the belly of a machine designed to crush your spirit#valentine#experimental style
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i actually love doing dishes i cant relate to the dish washing haters my hands get to be warm and i always have huge epiphanies while doing them somehow. like u know how some writers say their best ideas come to them in the shower. its like that for me but Dishes
#HAND WASHING DISH FANCLUB RISE UP. down with dishwasher machines btw (am scared of those beasts)#BUT YEAH I FIGURED OUT A BIG THING FOR MY TMM FANSERIES!!!! i was like. mentally debating ever since the end of new if i should#incorporate any elements from it or not bc the entire story was based on the old anime for the most part#(drawing bits from la mode and the video game heavily too but not a lot from the og manga yk)#i LIKE some stuff from new and some i dont super love. but the main thing i was debating was a Big Thing#and oh i fucking cracked the code bigtime on how to do everything i need to include while explaining some of the other stuff and AHH!!!#SO PLEASED THANK YOU DISH GODS (THE TINY GODS THAT LIVE IN DISH SOAP BUBBLES)#going insane bc its so fun but idk how to explain it w/out majorly spoiling tm2 LOL#ANYWAY PLEASE CLAP EVEN IF U DONT UNDERSTAND BC THIS IS GOOD FOR ME. enrichment.#sanchoyorambles
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ash just leans over, and starts slowly nibbling on deanâs arm.
â« DEAN doesn't understand what's happening, but also doesn't stop it. Green eyes dart around the room, but if there's anyone there, they don't notice what's going on. "Ashley? You uh- You okay? Hungry?"
#grcccvy#â: dean winchester#one of those quarter fortune machines; asks#i say more dumb things before 9 am than most people talk in a day; crack#he's like??? i mean go off ig but what's going on
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I am trying to write a post and yet nothing is coming to me. I don't think there is anything left to be said. Massacres-food shortages-polio epidemic of Gaza, I have talked about it all in an effort to fundraise for my friend Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 ). Mostly because this is what his life has come to, despite not having any say in it at all. A settler colony willed to destroy Gaza and because of that for almost a year, Siraj and his family are:Â
having to live in a tent, where there is no relief from either heat, cold or rain
where sand mites and insects keep pestering the family all day long
causing a breakout of infections amongst Sirajâs sons, and putting the rest of their cousins at riskÂ
since right now all of Sirajâs extended relatives ( 23 family members)Â are currently living with him after being displaced in an IOF attack
I have talked about this and more. I have talked about how every day Siraj has to take risks and go to Deir al-Balah just to get a steady hotspot connection so that he may campaign for his fundraiser and how after all this he gets harassed online because he is a journalist who gives us his daily updates. Beyond this I do not know what else to say to you so that you may donate to Siraj and help him cross this last lap of his fundraiser.
Recently Siraj posted an update about the massacre at al-Mawasi camp and it hits you hard when you realize that this camp is just 2 km away from Sirajâs own. Everyday when he sends me a message, I breathe a sigh of relief because after all these months- from our first tentative hellos to now when we crack jokes after a machine translated chat goes wrong, there is always a fear that maybe this might just be our last interaction. I know these thoughts have nothing to do with the fundraiser in itself, but my point is, as a friend, Siraj has requested that I help him reach 82k and right now this is all I can do. So please donate even if it is $3 USD ( $5 CAD). The fundraiser has trickled to almost a crawl and this makes Siraj worry. At least the gfm reaching its goal would be one less burden on him. He has fought so hard for this, please do not let him down now.Â
Currently at $78,248 / $82,000 CAD. Only $3752 CAD left to reach his goal. That is approximately 2.7k USD.
Please donate and get Siraj to his goal by this Monday. You got him this far, do not abandon him now.
Vetting 219
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I hate ribbon cables so much
#My 3ds isn't even turning ON I am so tired of taking out her back plate and then the 8 screw hell middle plate#To adjust TWO TINY ORANGE THINGS#To screw it all in and turn her on#AND IT JUST DOESN'T WORK. BABYGIRL#I know this is 70% the fault of whoever had this thing before me for having the worst 3ds caretaking possible#Screws were missing. Everything is coated in gunk. L and R buttons not working#Screen border cracked and falling#My original 3ds is still a perfect machine#Border fully attached. No gunk (dust inside the screen though)#All buttons working. Screws present#The shield on the SD card reader isn't broken#She's so much more well-taken-care-of than the blue one#I've had her for... sometime around a decade...?#Lost the stylus though#RIP stylus (it's probably a good thing I've played two ranger games with a softer; duller replacement and the screens still going strong!)#UNLIKE MY BLUE ONE WHEN I MESSED UP THE RIBBON CABLES#no touchscreen. what do you even do to ruin a touchscreen#Nintendo's website was all âjust go into other settings: (:â#WITH WHAT TOUCHSCREEN#I can't abxy lr circle pad + pad start select my way into the other settings#Holy shit that's a lot of tags
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SUSIE.
AGE: teenager.
VOICE CLAIM: tba.
FACE CLAIM: herself.
PRONOUNS: she/her.
FANDOM: deltarune*.
VERSES: main.
DESCRIPTION: susie is the team's tank and heavy hitter. violent tendencies (but is secretly a softie). purple reptilian monster. diet consists of chalk and her enemies' faces (joke).
TAG SOURCE(S): herself & one (1) reference to the deltarune ost.
* jax has yet to play chapter 2 somehow.
//she has so many good options for crack tags. im considering "Create a Machine to Thrash Your Own Ass."
#. . . am i late? .á.á susie#i... um... don't do puzzles. .á.á headcanons (susie)#you don't have to say anything. .á.á dash comm. (susie)#vs. susie .á.á music (susie)#if you tell me what to do. . . i'll listen to you. .á.á musings (susie)#what good can i say about someone trying to kill us? .á.á starter (susie)#please keep body tackling the soda machine. .á.á crack (susie)#beast? what beast? .á.á visage (susie)#it even looks kind of fast! .á.á aes (susie)#you know he's bad at mazes right?! .á.á dash games (susie)#synopsis .á.á bios
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tag dump
#â | ooc | stars above that we can't see |#â | queue | wish there was time for me to find another way |#â | saved | i can't pretend that i'll forget |#â | wishlist | paint a picture for me. where the sky's forever blue |#â | memes | something to show for the nights i'm awake |#â | promo | if the world is gonna burn everyone should get a turn to light it up |#â | self promo | a rising sun at daybreak |#â | dash games/comms | when you're talking to yourself |#â | open starters | to find a hell inside your heart |#â | starter/inbox call | indulge in the sirens' call |#â | asks | i've been answering machines all night |#â | drabble | empty urban legends |#â | crack | unmotivated. inconsistent. bored. |#⊠| in character | i smile beneath my mask and take a bow | âŠ#⊠| headcanons | only when we lie to ourselves can the truth of our souls be revealed | âŠ#⊠| musings | resounding applause. the audience gives a complete standing ovation. | âŠ#⊠| aesthetics | pretending is not hiding me...what did i do? | âŠ#⊠| visage | a mirror appears before me and offers me its hand | âŠ#âș | main verse | smile for the crowd. be what they came here to see |#âŒïž | focalors | are you my reflection? or am i yours? |#keeping ooc/non muse specific tags the same between blogs if only so i dont clog up my quicktags lmao
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Princess Treatment - LADS HCs
Premise: You spoil him rotten, giving him the true princess treatment whenever he least expects it. Based on this request. Pairing: reader x Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus (Seperate) Note: Reader and the men are in a relationship. This is pure fluff and I wrote these as headcanons on how the MC would spoil the lads men.
XAVIER
Tying His Shoelaces: Xavier, perpetually lost in thought or too sleepy to notice, never realizes his shoelaces have come undone. Youâve taken it upon yourself to stop him mid-step, kneeling down without hesitation to tie them up for him. "Y-you donât have to do that,â he murmurs, his ears tinged red as other hunters in the UNICORNS squad snicker or raise eyebrows. Despite his protests, he secretly loves the care and attention you give him. Sometimes, heâll glance down at his laces before heading out, secretly hoping youâll stop him again.
The Crumb Crisis: Youâve come to notice that Xavier is always getting crumbs on his faceâwhether itâs from a snack he didnât realize heâd left out or a meal heâs rushed through. Youâve made it a habit to carry a handkerchief with you, and whenever you see those crumbs stuck to his cheek, you gently take the cloth and wipe them off. Heâs always caught off guard, sometimes even stammering, "I'm fine, really!" but the quiet appreciation in his eyes is unmistakable.
Homecooked Comfort: After grueling missions, Xavier is too drained to do much beyond collapsing on his couch. And given his well-documented kitchen disastersâhe once managed to burn soupâyouâve made it a point to spoil him with hearty, homecooked meals. From comforting stews to his favorite snacks, you make sure heâs well-fed and taken care of. The first time you did it, his sleepy eyes widened in surprise. âYou⊠made this for me?â âOf course. You deserve it.â He savors every bite, and though heâs not great with words, the way he quietly finishes everything on his plate is thanks enough.
Fuck the machines: Claw machines are Xavierâs mortal enemy. Youâve watched him struggle time and again, his focus no match for the slippery claws, even when he uses his Evol. So, youâve taken over as his claw machine champion. "Which one do you want this time?â you ask, cracking your knuckles as he hesitates before shyly pointing to a particularly adorable plush. You win it with ease, handing it to him with a triumphant grin. âFor you, Your Highness.â He laughs softly, his rare smile lighting up his face. âYouâre too good at this.â
Bedhead Boy: Xavierâs perpetually messy bedhead is endearing, but sometimes itâs just too much for you to resist smoothing down. With a quiet hum, you gently comb your fingers through his hair, fixing it without a second thought. âHeyâŠâ he starts to protest, but he always lets you finish, his ears pink as you pat his head affectionately.
ZAYNE
Door Dash: Zayneâs disdain for hospital canteen food is no secret, and youâve made it your mission to ensure he eats something wholesome during his grueling shifts. You send him meals carefully packed in insulated containers, often including his favorite dishes. Occasionally, youâll slip in a small dessert, knowing his secret sweet tooth. He doesnât say much when he gets them, but youâve caught a glimpse of the faint smirk he wears when he opens the package. âYou know I can survive on vending machine snacks, right?â heâd quip over the phone later, but the fact he finishes every bite says otherwise.
Sticky notes: Zayne isnât the type to expect grand gestures, so you leave small, thoughtful surprises instead. A note tucked into his hospital coat pocket with a cheeky, âDonât overwork yourself. I still need my heart surgeon around.â Or a sticky note on his dashboard that reads, âDrive safe, handsome.â Once, he found one in his mail that simply said, âStop glaring at everyone, I know youâre secretly nice.â He pretends to be unfazed, rolling his eyes or muttering something sarcastic like, âAm I being stalked?â but he keeps every single one in a drawer at home.
Spoil me, rotten: Zayneâs wardrobe is filled with impeccably tailored long coats, a staple of his polished appearance. Youâve taken to buying him accessories like elegant brooches, leather gloves, or even scarves that perfectly complement his collection. He always protests when you present them, narrowing his eyes and saying, âYou do know I can buy these myself, right?â But the next time you see him, heâs wearing the latest item with an almost imperceptible look of pride. You tease him about it, and he deadpans, âItâs just practical. Donât overthink it.â
Doctor's Day Out: Knowing how chaotic Zayneâs schedule as a top surgeon can be, you take charge of planning the weekends so he doesnât have to lift a finger. Whether itâs booking a cozy dinner reservation, arranging a quiet getaway, or even planning an at-home movie night, you ensure everything is set. âAll you need to do is show up and look stunning,â you joke, and he raises an eyebrow. âWell, Iâm halfway there already,â he retorts dryly, but the way he leans back and relaxes during those weekends tells you heâs more grateful than he lets on.
Massage therapist: Zayneâs hands are his lifeline, and after long, intricate surgeries, theyâre often sore and strained. Youâve made it a habit to take his hands in yours and gently massage them, working out the tension in his fingers and wrists. He pretends to be indifferent at first but notices that your skills have improved. After all, youâd put in the effort to learn different techniques to aid him and his skilled hands. âI hope youâre not charging me for this.â He jokes. But as your thumbs press into the tight knots, his usual stoic demeanor falters. The sharp lines of stress around his eyes soften, and his shoulders, once hunched from exhaustion, slowly unwind.
RAFAYEL
After you: Itâs no secret Rafayel enjoys being the center of your attention, and youâre more than happy to oblige. Wherever you areâbe it a cafĂ©, an art gallery, or even your own homeâyou always make it a point to open the door for him. Without fail, he pauses, waiting for you to complete the gesture. Itâs not that he canât do it himself, but he loves seeing that soft, proud smile on your face when you hold the door just for him. Of course, heâd never outright admit it. Instead, heâll quip something bratty, like, âTook you long enough, Cutieâ but the faint curve of his lips tells you he secretly adores it.
Color Splash: Rafayelâs world revolves around his art, and youâve made it your mission to fuel his creativity. Whether itâs hunting down rare pigments, finding unconventional materials to create new textures, or gifting him innovative tools, you never miss an opportunity to surprise him. When he first discovers your thoughtful additions to his collection, heâs practically radiant, eyes gleaming with inspiration as he eagerly experiments. Of course, heâll nonchalantly mutter, âI couldâve found this myself, you know,â but his excitement is undeniable, and you know youâve made his day.
Cheater, Cheater: You pride yourself on your competitive streak, but when it comes to Kitty Cards with Rafayel, you canât help but let him bend the rules. He catches on every time, glancing at you with a knowing smirk as he casually switches out cards while you pretend not to notice. He knows exactly what youâre doing but plays along with a sly grin. Winning always means he gets to name his prize, and without fail, itâs more time with you. âYour competitive streak is slipping, cutie,â he teases, already pulling you closer. âGuess youâll just have to pay for it with another evening by my side.â
Passenger Princess: Whether itâs the car or your motorbike, Rafayel is always the passenger princess with you. Heâs perfectly content letting you take the wheel, whether itâs navigating through traffic or cruising down open roads. Heâll sit back, casually tossing a playful comment your way, his relaxed demeanor making it clear he has no interest in taking control. But even more than that, he loves the attention you give him. Heâll rest his hand on your shoulder or his head against the seat, basking in the comfort of being close to you. Itâs his way of enjoying the rideâand youâwithout the fuss.
Creative Clean up: Rafayelâs studio is a whirlwind of creativity, but itâs also a constant mess. Brushes, paints, papers, clothesâeverythingâs scattered around like a storm wrecked his living space. Coffee cups would double as pen holders, and brushes would be left lying around like they were an afterthought. But no matter how chaotic it became, you never complained. Youâd roll up your sleeves and clean up every single time you visited him. Heâd give you a cheeky grin, the same one he wore whenever he was being a brat, and say, âYou know you donât have to do this, right? I like my space just the way it is.â But he never stopped you, and in the moments when he didnât look, his eyes would soften, and a hint of appreciation would slip through his normally playful mask. He knew you cared for him in a way that no one else did.
SYLUS
Product Placement: Sylus was used to getting what he wanted, whether it was luxury items or rare finds. He had his preferences, and he wasnât one to settle for less. But when you made it your mission to keep his favorite, expensive brands stocked in your homeâwhether it was gourmet food, skincare products, or niche equipmentâit didnât go unnoticed. The first time you did this, Sylus had been caught off guard. Heâd teased you, of course. âI donât need you to be my personal store, kitten. Iâve got everything I need.â But when he came over and found everything perfectly laid out just the way he liked it, the teasing turned into a more meaningful smile. He would let you spoil him just enough to acknowledge your effort, but never enough to let you feel like you were getting the upper hand. That was the Sylus way.
Rare Rhythms: Â Sylusâ love for rare records was well-known, and so was the fact that he had an extensive collection of limited-edition vinyl. But you didnât mind diving into the world of obscure, indie artists just to get him something new for his collection. It wasnât easy, though. It took long hours of scouring flea markets, searching online auction houses, and talking to music enthusiasts who knew more than a thing or two about underground talent. It was often a challenge, but for you, it was worth every second. Sylus didnât say much, but you could tell by the way he listened to every single one of them, that he was genuinely impressed. "Theyâve got potential," he'd said, before you knew it, that same artist was suspiciously rising in popularity, and youâd smile every time Sylus mentioned them. âYou really know how to find a diamond in the rough, donât you, sweetie?â
Spoiled Stubborn: Sylus was always the one taking the lead, always the one orchestrating the grand gestures. Spoiling him? Not so easy. He didnât make it easy for anyone to do that. He would never outright refuse, but it was clear that when you tried, he preferred to return the favor rather than let you take charge. But you were stubbornâprobably even more so than he was. You wanted him to be spoiled just as much. You wanted him to experience the kind of care he gave to everyone else, and you had just the way to do it: Planning dates where he couldnât take over. Once it was picnic in the woods. You went all outâyour best blankets, his favorite snacks, wine you knew heâd likeâand most importantly, you took care of every detail so that he couldnât take charge. The other time, it was a movie night at your place where everything was set: Popcorn, soda, the projector and candy. âYouâre stubborn, you know that?â he remarked softly, but there was affection behind his words. "I want spoil you... but youâve managed to spoil me instead." You smiled, the warmth in your chest spreading, knowing that in these small moment, you had made him feel cared forâsomething he usually avoided letting others do.
Sylusâ Salon: Sylus had always been a little gruff, his rugged demeanor giving off the impression of someone who was clinical and composed. But you knew him better than that. One of those moments was when you washed and dried his hair. Heâd never asked for it, but youâd begun doing it without thinking. Maybe it was the way his silver hair shimmered under the water, or maybe it was the way he looked so disarmed when he let his guard down, letting you comb through his hair with graceful  fingers. Youâd always notice how his breath would deepen, how his eyes would close just a little longer than necessary. "I know you like doing this," heâd say, the faintest hint of a grin playing on his lips. "But youâre making it hard for me to act all tough with you fussing over me like this." Youâd laugh softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead before continuing to dry his hair. It was an act of tenderness, a side of him that no one got to see.
Touch Starved: Sometimes, it wasnât the grand gestures that mattered. It was the little touches. âa soft brush of your hand against his cheek or the fleeting warmth of your fingers tracing his jawâhe couldnât help but pause. Heâd find himself rewinding moments of you brushing his hair out of his face, or simply wrapping your arms around him when he least expected it. Heâd tense, but only for a moment, before letting the warmth of your embrace dissolve his guarded exterior. âIt seems like a certain kitten cannot keep her hands to herself.â Sylus would tease, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips as you snuck in another kiss, letting him know that youâd spoil him with your touches and kisses, even if he wonât admit it loudly.
AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#l&ds zayne#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#lads drabble#l&ds sylus#l&ds rafayel#l&ds xavier#l&ds#zayne#xavier#rafayel#linaisdelulu
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how the hell do you lose a hard drive
#do they not send new dell desktop pcs with hard drives anymore.#sorry having a crisis at work bc i just cracked open this new machine to do a hardware check. um.#theres no hard drive. AM I STUPID AND ITS HIDING ORRRRR
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homesick
a cowboy like me one shot
oh, i missed these two. here's a little check-in on my favorite morally irresponsible outlaws.
pairing:Â dbf!joel miller x fem!reader
summary: you spend the weekend back home in austin with joel.
warnings:Â age gap (early 20s/late 40s), twinge of angst, piv sex in the shower (beware of slippage). you know the drill with these two. part of the cowboy like me universe, but can probably be enjoyed as a standalone.
word count:Â 6.3k
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âThis is Joel Miller. I canât come to the phone right now, so leave a message and Iâll get back to ya.â
You wait for the beep, pacing along a wall of steel cylinders. The laundromat is stifling, the machinesâ drumming deafening. Itâs eighty-something degrees out, and itâs only six oâclock.
âPick up, Miller. Hello? Hello? I know youâre there. Canât come to the ââ you clear your throat, strum the twang in your vocal cords, ââ Canât come to the ph-owww-ne right nââ
The line clicks as he picks the handset up.
âDid you call just to make fun of me, kid?â
You halt, spinning on your heel. âSo you were screening me?â
He scoffs. âDidnât notice the time. Iâve been out back with Tommy.â
âOh,â you mellow, tongue curling around your ice cream, âWe donât have to call right now, you know. Iâm just doing laundry.â
âIt is six there, right?â
âYeah, but donât let me keep you. Go hang with your brother.â
Joel sighs as he sinks back into his couch. âKeep me. He knows you were calling tonight. Heâs probably outside fraternizing with the neighbor, anyway. Wonât even notice Iâm gone. Laundry, huh?â
âMhm.â You suckle on the lip of the waffle cone. âItâs a beautiful night, and Iâm stuck being force-fed Mötley CrĂŒe and watching a steel drum shred my panties.â
âSounds like a good time to me.â
âEnough, cowboy.â
âI like Mötley CrĂŒe,â he chuckles. âThey got some hits under their belt.â
âName five.â
âFive,â he says. âYouâre asking a lot there, darlinâ.â
âOf Mötley CrĂŒe or of your memory, old man?â
Joel hums. âShouldâve seen that one coming, baby.â
You boost yourself up onto one of the dryers, swinging your legs. If there were anyone else in the laundromat, youâd care to hide your fluster â but youâre here on your own, and the man just melts you. All girlish and giggly, you feel his words swirl around your stomach like sweet honey.
âTell me about your day,â you say, covering the flutter in your voice with another mouthful of ice cream.
âWell,â Joel says, âweatherâs fine, workâs fine. Almost done with that renovation for your favorite clients.â
You gasp. âThe old couple with the cats?â
He grumbles. âThatâs them. They still hate me, by the way.â
âThe couple, or the cats?â
ââŠJuryâs out.â
You snicker.
âThen, uh, I called Sarah, had some dinner, and now here I am talkinâ to you.â
âHm. Iâm your favorite part, right? Iâm your favorite part of today?â
Joel pauses, breathing for a moment. Slow, quiet, but sure, he says: âYouâre my favorite part of every day.â
The smile on your face cracks, crumbles into something more pained. Your heart sinks.
Itâs been three months since you were last home. Technically, itâs been seven weeks since you were in Austin â but Joel was out of town for the weekend, and you spent four days cleaning your dadâs gutter and watching westerns.
Itâs been three months since you were last in Joelâs arms. In his house, in his clothes, in his bed. Three months since you heard his voice not through the crackle of a thousand miles apart; since you smelled him on your skin, not on the flannels youâve stolen from him.
Three long, tough months.
And it means nothing, anyway. All this missing each other. So you tell yourselves, and so you tell everyone else. Youâre not together, youâre not committed. Youâve been seeing other people, so has Joel â even if heâs only been on two dates in the nine months since you moved away.
Spending a casual weekend together here and there is enough to get you by. Itâs easier this way, right? Itâs cleaner. There are no crossed wires, no strings at risk of becoming tangled.
Only â your entire relationship is woven in tangled strings. Messy, knotted, twisted around your fingers and threaded through your ribs. A summerâs worth of weaving yourselves closer and closer together, only to be pulled apart come fall.
It didnât take long to prove that when a knot is pulled, it only binds tighter.
It only binds sorer.
âAnyway,â Joel says, âyour turn. How was your day?â
You gulp, slipping down from the dryer to check on your wash. If you speak, youâll break, and if you break, youâll sob.
âBaby? You still there?â
âYep,â you croak. You wipe your eyes with your sleeve and shake your head. âI â uhâŠYeah, my day was fine.â
The line quietens.
âYou sure? Everything okay at work?â
Your reflection blinks back at you in the window of the machine, warped and molten. She opens her mouth and replies, âAll good.â
He can read you even three states apart. âLet me call you back. Hold on.â
The call disconnects before you can protest. Over your shoulder, another regular shuffles into the laundromat.
She smiles, skin supple and sun-spotted, looking but not looking you in the eye. She slides her full basket over one of the machines on the other side of the room, and tosses her clothes into the drum.
When your phone vibrates again, you pass by her and out onto the street.
Joelâs pixelated living room stretches across your screen.
âJoel,â you sniff, âJoel, itâs ââ
âCan you see me?â
âNo, you gotta flip your ââ
ââŠnever know why the damn thing donât ââ
âThe button with the arrows. The camera button, Joel, itâs ââ
His coffee table flips, and in place â straight, dark brows drawn tight in a frown. Crows feet, scar across the bridge of his nose. Peppered hair a little longer than the last time you called, beard a little thicker.
The only person in the world who can weaken your knees and splinter your chest, in one fleeting glance.
âHi, baby girl,â he whispers, expression softening. âLook at you.â
You slump against the warm wall, sliding down. One sight of him, and your knees give. âOh, my God, I miss you today.â
Joel laughs. His head cocks, smirk tugging at his lips. âI miss you every day.â
âYeah, thatâs â thatâs what IâŠâ you sigh, ââŠThatâs what I meant. Itâs just â some days, you feel a little further away.â
âToday one of those days?â
You nod. A car soars by, whipping hot air from the road which pours over your bare legs. âItâs justâŠbeen a day. Thatâs all.â
âWe can talk about it, if you want. Youâre hell of a lot smarter than me, darlinâ, but Iâve had my share of bad days before. Never does any harm to get it off your chest.â
He smiles. It breaks your heart.
He works ten hours straight, some days. Out at the crack of dawn, home with only enough time and energy to nuke something in the microwave. Somewhere amongst that, he fits in beers with Tommy and ridiculous DIY jobs your dad elicits his help for.
And still â he sets aside an hour or two every few nights, specially for you. He collapses into his couch, decaf in his mug, and puts the world to rights with you on the other end of the phone.
The meaningless work dramas, the paper building up on your desk. The commute, for the love of God â the traffic jams you swear will one day be the death of you. The last thing Joel needs is to listen to your problems on end, and you tell him so.
âBullshit,â he replies. He shakes his head, takes a sip of his beer. âI asked, didnât I? Talk to me. Tell me whatâs goinâ on.â
You groan. âI justâŠI wish I could turn my brain off. Just for a little while. No meetings, no call times. No helping my dad trim the trees in the yard when Iâm home for the weekend.â
He laughs. âHe rope you into that one too, huh?â
âSure did.â You tense your fist, wince at the memory of splinters you were still plucking from your palm even weeks later.
âI got nothing to complain about,â you tell Joel, âI know that. This job isâŠitâs right where I want to be. Just â sometimes, I miss being back in Austin, following you around Costco and hiding from my dad. Itâs like life was simpler then.â
Joel chokes. âI guarantee you,â he coughs, thumping his chest clear of beer, âlife was not simpler. Not by a long shot. Goddamn.â
He swings to his feet and wanders across the room to his kitchen. Past his armchair, past the guitar mounted on the wall. Past the dining chair he always hangs his coat from. You know the anatomy of his home better than your own, it feels like.
You sure as hell miss it more than your own.
âLemme seeâŠâ Joel squints over his phone. He leans over his kitchen counter. âWhatâs next weekend look like for you?â
You shrug. âMy weekend off.â
âNothing planned?â
âNothing yet.â
He nods. âIâm meeting a supplier on Saturday afternoon, but if you can stand to be without me for a few hours, thenâŠâ
His eyebrows lift.
So do yours. âThenâŠ?â
âI can look at flights,â Joel says, âget you booked tonight. Pick you up Friday, drop you off Sunday. Spend the whole weekend with your brain shut off, if thatâs what youâre lookinâ for.â
A wave of warmth floods through your chest. Relief, maybe â or simple adoration for the man on the other end of the phone. Most likely, the way it always seems with Joel, itâs both at once.
He loves you. Enough to break every rule in the book. To go behind his best friendâs back for an entire summer. He loves you enough to let you go, watch you follow your wildest dreams, and then be the safety net at the end of each long day, each hard night.
He loves you enough to scratch everything off his calendar for a few days, just to make sure youâre okay. Just to hold you in his arms, heart beating a rhythm he knows better than his own. Just to sing you to sleep, and wake you up with burnt toast and runny eggs.
You pull the collar of your shirt over your nose and weep into the material. âI ever tell you how much I love you?â
He smiles. âNot half as much as I love you.â
âGross.â
âI know.â
The laundromat door flings open.
Face now flushed and hair scraped back, the woman clocks you immediately and throws a pointed finger in your direction. âAre you coming to get your panties or what, little girl?â
She clicks her teeth and disappears again. The blind hanging over the door rattles with the force it slams closed.
âGuess thatâs my cue,â you whisper, heaving to your feet. âBetter go get my panties.â
âWhy?â Joelâs making his way back outside. âAinât like youâre gonna need âem.â
You scoff. âTalk later, cowboy.â
Austin welcomes you back with a delayed flight, a screaming seatmate, and a raging headache.
The airport is busy. Loud busy. All chittering couples, hordes of kids with nauseatingly bright backpacks. You drag your suitcase through to arrivals, careful not to trip over the wheels of the stroller ahead.
When you spot his tall, dark figure weaving between bodies, the gate hushes. You move towards him by instinct, parting the crowd as you go. The magnet in your chest senses its partner drawing nearer, and nearer, and nearer.
And nearer, until heâs reaching out. Heâs close enough that his hands land on your waist, and itâs the first time in three months that youâve felt this weight â his weight, the way only he feels â all around you.
Joel pulls you in to his chest. He locks you in, resting his chin on your head.
âHi, honey.â
You inhale his scent, breathe in the comfort of him. âHi,â you exhale.
Tears prickle at your eyes. It feels stupid. He looks down at you, thumb swiping across your cheek, and a salty droplet spills.
âHow was the flight?â he asks.
âGood.â
âYou okay?â
âPerfect, now.â
âYou look perfect,â Joel grins, âLook like the sun.â
And you could swat him away, could shrug him and his flirting off. The sun sure as hell doesnât look stewed in three-hour plane, too tired to move and too clingy to unhook from her dadâs best friendâs arm.
But thatâs not what heâs saying, is it?
You do look different. You feel different. You feel brand new. Golden â just like the sun.
These days, it feels like there are two versions of you. One, youâve spent the better part of a year polishing off â electric and vibrant, eyes wide and head spinning, moving through her day like gliding on air and then collapsing in a heap come nightfall. Chaos with a clipboard and call sheet.
And the other â slower. Steadier. Surer on her feet, simpler in her ways. Dust under her heels and a Texan shine in her smile. Honeylike; moving where her body tells her to go, drinking up the world as she pleases.
Thereâs a moment, stood under the fluorescent lights of the terminal, where you feel the first give way to the second. Safe now, in Joelâs arms, to slip back into her old, worn boots and shutter her mind â even just for this weekend.
âCome on,â he whispers, wrapping his hand around yours. âLetâs get you home.â
And there never seemed like a better idea than that.
He keeps your things in his shower caddy.
Bottom basket, strictly yours. Shampoo and conditioner and bodywash and a loofah, all exactly where you left them last time you were here. He says it as he cranks the handle, holds his palm under the flow until itâs just right.
âThe strawberry stuffâŠ?â Joel nods to the bottle, face screwed.
You gasp. âYou donât like it?â
He shakes his head. âLike it on you. I smelled like a fruit farm for a week, baby.â
âMakes a change from wood trimmings,â you mutter, peeling the shirt from your chest.
Joel glares over his shoulder. âYou wanna say that a little louder?â
âNo, sir,â you whisper, and step into the cubicle.
The water pours over your head and down your spine, breathing life back into your body. You close your eyes and let it wash down your face. LA feels so distant, so lost to the steam and serenity in Joelâs ensuite.
He lingers in the doorway, watching as you turn under the shower. He smiles when you hold your hand out and flick your fingers.
âSoap, please.â
âYes, maâam,â he says, dropping it in your palm.
You slip the velvety bar over your skin. The soap lathers in thick, milky bubbles, cascading over your chest down to your hips. Your hands lift from your navel to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples between soft fingers.
Joelâs jaw ticks. He crosses his arms, shoulders tensing. âEasy, darlinâ. Dancing with the devil here.â
It burns low in your stomach.
You pass him the bar back. âMaybe I want to dance,â you murmur. âMaybe he does, too.â
His eyebrows lift. âMaybe he does,â he agrees. He trades the soap for shampoo, tapping the bottle against your hip.
The heat grows under your skin. Having him watch, his close eye on you as you wash the suds from your hair and slick bodywash over your skin.
His eyes drift from your chest to your waist, looping up to your soaked eyelashes and dripping bottom lip, diving again between your legs.
Hungry. Starved, even.
Three months of secret photos and sexy phone calls to get you both by. Three months of imagining you, fist around his cock in the dead of night, coating his stomach just with the thought of you.
And right here, right now, in his shower: the real thing. The forbidden fruit. Body hot and skin soaked, just as desperate as he is. Just as needy.
You step forward, reaching for his shoulders. Arms around his neck, dampening the collar of his shirt, you pull him closer.
âDance with me,â you whisper against his lips, stealing a kiss.
Joelâs gaze darkens. He takes your jaw and tilts your head back. Voice like thunder rolling over you, he warns, âI told someone weâd be somewhere.â
You smile, tugging on the hem of his shirt. âWeâre running late. Somethingâs come up.â
His arms lift and you pull the cotton over his head, tossing it to the floor. Heâs the same solid sculpture as always. Strong and wide, torso scattered with hair which thickens across the span of his chest.
He rids himself of his boots and jeans, kicks his underwear off, and joins you under the water. So big that he corners you, so tall that he has to adjust the showerhead.
Pressed up against your body; warm, manly scent raining over you. Heâs hard, tucked right by your hip, rutting gently as he steals kiss after kiss.
Heâs addicted to it. To you. Has been ever since that first night, the first taste of poison. Has been, probably, since that first glimpse of you last summer. For all the wrong reasons and in all the wrong ways, for better or worse â
You break him open. You make him weak.
Joel groans when you wrap your hand around him. That familiar weight in your grasp. He glances down to watch your slow strokes, fighting back a filthy smile.
âMissed you,â he breathes, voice lost to the patter of the shower. He slips a hand between your legs. âAinât gonna last long, are you?â
âFuck,â you hiss, grinding into his palm. You toy with his bottom lip, nipping at the edges of his smirk. âWe got all weekend. Just â just fuck me.â
He hikes your leg over his hip and lines up. A blooming ache when he notches at your hole, tip teasing your entrance.
Your back curls. You wrap your arms around Joelâs neck, whimpering into his chest.
ââs alright,â he kisses your neck, âJust take it nice ân slow. Get her used to me again, baby.â
He pushes inside, two heavy hands on your waist. Always in control, always easing you in. He holds you delicately, moving inch by inch, watching the twist of your brow and bite of your lip before sinking in further.
He reaches up and tilts the downpour to the wall. Lifts your fragile body, split in two on his cock, and pushes you against the tile.
Your cunt aches as he slides out. She clamps around his tip. It hurts â but you donât want to let him go.
âStay,â you cry, nails digging into his shoulders. âStay inside me.â
He hums and presses his lips to the hinge of your jaw. âI ainât goinâ anywhere, baby. Iâm right here.â
His hips move forward. Your cunt opens for him the deeper he moves. Like welcoming him home, remembering the way it feels to be this full. The stretch of taking him, the air stolen from your lungs. The love you can never find the beginning nor the end of.
And then heâs moving quicker, sharper, one arm wrapped around your neck to cradle your head. Hips snapping against yours, slowing to a roll when you yelp.
Whispering sweet nothings in your ear â how good youâre taking him, how tight she is. How much heâs missed this, missed her, missed you. Never wants to let you go, never wants to be anywhere except right here, feeding you his cock and watching you come undone.
âMade for me, huh?â Joel grunts. He presses his forehead to yours and slips the words across your tongue. âAll mine.â
âAll yours,â you echo, weeping under him. The flame catches and curls around your stomach.
The missing piece to the last nine months. The dead-end dates, the hazy hookups. Awkward good mornings, and goodbyes that never seem to come quick enough. Sneaking off home to shower the scent of it away, to replace it with something sweeter.
Him.
Because none of them are him.
They donât make you laugh and they donât make you come. They donât see you, donât hang on your every word. They donât â they canât break your world apart and paint it something new. They donât know your every move, donât understand the most fleeting glances.
You could spend forever circling every bar and every diner; what do you do for work and where did you grow up. You could chase the tail of every flannel shirt, search all over for that twinkle in his eye.
Theyâre not him. Theyâll never be him.
Joel coaxes you where he needs you. He fucks you until youâre quivering in his arms, head rolling across his shoulder. His thrusts begin to stall, breathing turns to panting, teeth sink into any part of your skin he can find.
He moans into your neck. The sound nudges you towards the edge.
âIâm close, baby,â he grits, ââm so close.â
You look up at him through tear-soaked eyes.
Three months. Since the last time he touched you, kissed you, fucked you like this. Since the last time he lost control, came deeper inside than anyone before, or anyone since.
Three months since the last time you held him in your hands, lined your lips with his, and begged him to stay in you.
Joel laughs. âDangerous little game, darlinâ.â
But heâs fading. Heâs falling under, same as you are.
You want it. You need it. Need to be full of him â that ache when you walk, the warmth leaking down the inseam of your thighs. The feeling of being his, all his; ruined and wrecked in the sweetest way.
âStay â inside,â you plead. âI want you to â want it so bad.â
âKeep begging, honey. Sound so cute when youâre desperate.â
âPlease, Joel,â itâs getting harder to hold, âJust wanna feel you in me ââ
âI know, I know,â he shushes.
You tense in his arms, gasping. âIâm gonna â come ââ
âSo,â Joel smirks, âcome.â
And it snaps.
You scream into his chest. Your climax pulls you under, drowns you in a heavy wave of pleasure. Your hips lock, legs clamp around his waist as you cry out.
He plants a hand flat against the tile to steady himself. He holds you still as his own orgasm rolls through, pumping your swollen cunt with each rush of warm release.
You collapse against his body, bubbling and mumbling something incoherent.
He hears you, though.
He shuts the water off and rocks you back and forth. His cock slips from between your legs. âShh, shh,â lips to your temple, ââs my girl. Such a good girl, baby. So good for me.â
You hum in response and pull yourself upright. You trace the shape of his beard, soaking wet and soft under your touch, following the droplets of water to his chin.
He kisses the tips of your fingers. âI love you,â he says. Chants it like a prayer, leaning closer and closer until his lips are against yours. âLove you more ân anything.â
You giggle. âYouâre tickling me.â
Joel nuzzles his nose into your neck. He wriggles his fingers under your ribcage. âCanât get enough of you,â his tongue swipes across your hot skin, âSwear to God, baby, youâre killing me.â
âJoel,â your head falls back with a clap of laughter, âJoel, stop â oh, my God, you have to stop, please â Joel!â
He hoists you onto his hips and turns. Hands still exploring, still pinching and squeezing everywhere they shouldnât be, he carries you out to his bedroom and drops you onto the mattress.
âHere,â he chuckles, wrapping a towel around your body. He knots it over your chest and rubs your waist, before flopping down onto the bed with a sigh.
You roll over on top of him and fix the dripping hair from his forehead. âMissed you,â you whisper, trailing kisses along his collarbone.
He smiles. His heart flutters beneath yours. âMissed you more,â he says.
His semen drips between your legs. Heâs softening against the inside of your thigh. The bed is soaked, sheets thatâll need changed before you sleep tonight. Youâre tired, spent, pussy throbbing from the loss of him â and itâs all so perfect.
Being here, with him. Seeing him, feeling him on your body. In your body, for crying out loud. Holding him, kissing him, loving him up close.
Itâs fucking perfect.
âWhat are we running late for?â you ask.
Joelâs eyes flutter open. He cocks his head, frowning.
âYou said we had somewhere to be,â you clarify.
âOh,â he winces, âUh, your dadâs. Heâs havinâ us for dinner.â
âOh,â you echo. âWhen is he expecting â?â
He glances at the clock. âHalf hour ago.â
âNice.â You push yourself up, slipping from his grasp. âWell, this is about to be awkward.â
Joel folds his arms behind his head. He tracks your flurried movements: lugging your bag across the floor, tearing through it for an outfit that doesnât scream, Your best friend just fucked me senseless in his shower.
When you straighten and lift your arms, eyes wide, his lips turn.
âYou said you wanted to dance, baby. I was just following orders.â
The sun filters through the leaves, breathing back and forth with the sway of the trees.
Youâre horizontal in a deckchair, feet in Joelâs lap, blanket around your shoulders. Full on burgers and baseball talk; if it werenât for your dadâs riveting conversation about his new lawnmower, youâd probably be asleep.
âRide-on,â he tells Joel, nodding. It makes gardening a real thrill, apparently. He flicks a hand over the span of the yard. âWhole thing done in less than twenty minutes. Hank says heâs half a mind to make an investment himself.â
Joel purses his lips. He strokes your ankles soothingly. âSounds like a good buy,â he placates.
Your dad drums on his armrests, admiring his yard some more. He mumbles something about raking the leaves, painting the fence, then â with a vigor that makes you jump, he taps your arm.
âHowâs work, kiddo? Still rockinâ ân rollinâ?â
Your eyes flash across Joelâs. The hell does that even mean?
The corner of his lip twitches. Your guess is as good as mine.
âYep,â you lie. âLiving the dream, Dad.â
Joel says nothing. He hasnât told your dad why you came home â hasnât even mentioned the tears outside the laundromat. Your secret is safe with him, you know that. Some puzzles are easier to figure out, the less eyes that are on them.
He hasnât even brought it up with you yet. Granted, youâve been home all of four hours, and a solid quarter of that time has been spent naked with him back at his place â but heâs waiting for you to make the first move.
This weekend doesnât have to be about work. Hell, it doesnât even have to be about you feeling homesick. It can be as simple as you hadnât seen your dad for a few weeks, or you heard the news about the damn lawnmower and just had to pay a visit.
Itâs what youâve always loved so much about Joel. Itâs what reeled you into him in the first place.
He just lets you be. No questions, no pressure, no worries. He knows youâll figure it out â you always do. And if he knows that, then it makes you believe in it, too.
Dad sinks back into his chair with a sigh. âWhatâs on the cards this weekend, then?â
âJoelâs down San Antonio way tomorrow,â you yawn, âSome supplier meeting.â
âYou donât feel like a road trip?â
Your eyes roll to Joel. Heâs already staring back. You cock an eyebrow, smirking into your glass.
His shoulder rolls in a shrug. âYour call, chief,â he says, tipping his drink to you.
The minute he mentioned the meeting last week, you knew youâd be tagging along. Two hours each way and an hour in between is too big a chunk of your weekend together to miss out on.
That â and youâve missed Joelâs front-seat singing.
It doesnât matter what you planned on doing â rolling around his bed for three days straight, driving to San Antonio and back. Hell, trimming your dadâs trees and cleaning his guttering.
As long as youâre doing it with Joel, itâs enough.
Itâs what you came home for in the first place.
The drive passes quickly enough. Joelâs truck doesnât have Bluetooth, and he only keeps three discs in his glove compartment: Don McLeanâs American Pie, a Guitar Classics compilation album, and a blank disc with SARAH MILLER, SECOND GRADE scrawled in Sharpie.
He whips it from your hands when you fish it out of the compartment.
âListen, listen to this,â Joel says, slotting it in the tray. âFound it a couple weeks ago. I listen to it when Iâm drivinâ to work.â
Her squeaky, seven-year-old voice punches through the cabin. âWelcome to my presentation ââ she roars into the mic, pausing when a voice picks up in the background. âHuh?â Sarah asks.
âYouâre holdinâ the mic too close,â Joel murmurs, almost fourteen years younger. âFarther. Farther,â he says, and then â âAlright. Go.â
âWelcome to my presentation on Amelia E-Earhart,â she resumes, clearing her throat. âSheâŠOh, Daddy, we gotta restart. I forgot to tell âem my name.â
Joel covers his laughter with his fist, reciting it line for line. âTommy said heâs gonna make her a copy for her birthday,â he says.
âOh, my God. Sheâs gonna hate you guys, you know that, right?â
He nods. âIâm countinâ on it.â
Sarah rounds off a few facts about twentieth century air travel before Joel swaps her for the radio. He hands you the disc and you place it safely back in the glove compartment.
You curl up in the passenger seat, swinging your legs over to his lap.
He rubs your calves and glances over, smiling. âYou okay over there?â
âIâm more tired than I was when I landed,â you reply, and he laughs.
You havenât had much of a chance to catch up on sleep. The second you made it home last night, your dress was on the floor at the foot of Joelâs bed. He woke you this morning with his lips on your thighs, your underwear around your ankles.
He was midway through cooking breakfast when you floated into the kitchen to return the favor. The toast burned, the eggs shriveled to a crisp, and your knees bruised.
Fuck it, right? Youâll miss him when youâre gone. When all thatâs left are the memories, and the sound of his climax through speakerphone.
An afternoon spent on the road is good recovery time, then, for all thatâs waiting for you when you make it back to Joelâs tonight.
A few off-key covers of fifty number ones from the last fifty years later, youâre pulling into a barren lot headered by a beige trailer. The supplier springs out â a beefy guy with a full head of thick, white hair. He crosses the lot as Joel parks up.
Joel rounds the truck, pausing when he spots you lingering at the tailgate. He curves a hand around your neck, thumb circling over your pulse point. âYou cominâ?â
You twist the hem of your tee around your finger. âMaybe Iâll stay out here and wait. Itâs a nice night, and you ainât gonna be too long, right?â
He shakes his head. âBe as fast as I can. If it gets dark out, you come inside, alright?â
You shuffle into his embrace. âPromise.â
He kisses your head and steps back. âHere,â he slips the flannel from his shoulders, âIf youâre sittinâ out. Got my phone if you need me.â
He disappears inside and the door falls closed. A cluster of moths twirls around the light on the trailerâs side. You hop up on the bed of the truck, crossing Joelâs shirt around your frame, and nestle against the back window.
The sun pulls down towards the horizon, sending dregs of daytime in ripples to the stars. Sheâs still alight just beyond the trees, still burning a hole in the sky. She winks at you from a distance.
The world looks different from Austin. Bigger, like the view from your bedroom window. Thereâs always more, just beyond the horizon. There has to be more, right? More than four pink walls and a chest of drawers. More than Salâs store, more than Ritaâs cross stitch.
You chased that more halfway across the country â only to realize it was in your hands the whole time.
Him and his lazy smile, sarcasm as thick as the accent he speaks it in. Rolled up sleeves and messy collar; a half-empty cup of coffee and a cracked watch face.
Heâs all the more you could ever need.
Youâre still perched on the tailgate, staring skyward, when Joel finishes up.
He swaggers across the lot, tan arms speckled with dry dirt, boots kicking up dust. He tosses a fistful of papers in the front seat, then drifts around to settle between your knees.
âHi,â he whispers, tucking his nose under your jaw.
âHi.â
He plants his hands either side of your hips and kisses your neck. âHome time, sweet girl.â
You glance over your shoulder.
This time tomorrow, youâll be on your flight back. Row twelve, seat C. Joelâs flannel over your shoulders, slowly forgetting the scent of him, mile by mile. Youâll sleep with it tucked under your chin until it no longer smells like oak or pine, or the mint bodywash he uses.
Youâll miss it the way youâll miss him. Holding onto every last moment. Deep morning voice, warm, safe embrace. The rumble of a laugh in his chest, the glimmer or mischief in his eye. The touches he saves just for you; the words he whispers when the lights turn out.
You wrap your arms around his neck.
âCan we go watch the sunset somewhere?â
Joel glances off behind you. His eyes flit back to yours, sunlight catching their ochre and setting him ablaze.
âGet in,â he pulls you down, âI know just the spot.â
Itâs almost dusk by the time you reach the outlook.
A twisty dirt road which opens up between some trees, halfway out of the city. Joel reverses the truck and parks in the clearing. The two of you slide onto the tailgate, sharing a bag of fruit gums he had stored alongside Sarahâs CD.
The stars turn one by one, dotted across deep indigo. The last of the dayâs blush still lingers where the city meets the sky. Tucked between trees and twilight, it feels as though youâre the only two in the world.
Joel holds the bag out, and you pinch a couple pieces of candy. âHow you feelinâ?â he asks, looking out to the skyline.
âOkay, I guess,â you mutter. âThis has been a nice reset. I wish I could take you back with me.â
Joel laughs. âI donât.â
âNo?â you suckle on the sweet fruit, âI think youâd fit right in.â
âOh, Iâm sure.â He shakes his head, pinching your chin. âNaw, LA is yours. Itâs something you did, all by yourself. I am so proud of you, honey, do you know that? I mean, I miss you like hell, I really doâŠâ
He glances back down, rustling the bag in his hands. Heâs hiding, you know him well enough. Staring at his lap instead of in your eye. When he looks back up, thereâs a glimmer along his waterline.
ââŠBut the way I feel any time you call, and I knowâŠI know youâre out there doinâ something you actually give a shit about. You ainât stuck here, too big for your own bedroom, too comfortable for anywhere else.â
He slips a hand over your knee and squeezes.
Itâs infuriating, how right he always is. Youâre working your fucking ass off, and for good reason. Austin was always too small for the world inside your head. Missing each other is a price youâre both willing to pay, for the luxury of not missing out on every dream youâve ever had.
But â
âWhat if it keeps getting harder?â you sniff, âWhat if I need you more?â
Joel clicks his teeth. ââs always gonna get harder. Thatâs life, darlinâ. But the hard times wonât last forever. And when it feels real tough, and you feel like you canât do it no more, you call me. You jump on the next flight. You switch your brain off, and you let me take care of you for a little while.â
You shake your head. Tears break loose, rolling down your cheeks. âI canât ask that of you, Joel, you got your own shit to worry about ââ
âBaby.â He sighs. âIâm old. Iâve done everything I think I oughta do. You know, the days I know youâre gonna be callinâ at eight oâclock â itâs all I can think about. Iâm at work checking my watch every five minutes.â
You giggle, turning into the crook of his arm.
âItâs true,â Joel snickers, âIâm like a goddamn teenager. Thatâs what you do to me.â
He catches you and pulls you against his chest.
âWhat Iâm saying is â there ainât nothing that matters more to me in the world than you. My own shit to worry about? You mean â you?â
âShut up,â you scoff, spitting tears into his shirt.
âYou call,â he says, resolute, âand Iâll be there.â
âIâm calling,â you whisper. âIâm always calling.â
âThen Iâm always here.â
You sit back, bracing yourself on Joelâs thighs. He wipes the wet from your cheeks and fixes his shirt over your shoulders.
âYou know, one day,â you tell him, âyouâre gonna get a call, and itâs not just gonna be for the weekend.â
He smiles. âI know.â
âOne day, Iâm gonna come home forever, Joel.â
âI know,â he repeats. âAnd Iâll be on the front porch waitinâ.â
#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#the last of us#tlou#tlou fic#joel miller smut#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#fic: cowboy like me
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