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nad-zeta · 3 years

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Mitsuhide- The Blind Date

Fandom: Ikesen

Pairings: Mitsuhide x Reader

Genre: Modern Au

Warning: Alcohol

Words: 1800+

Comments: Eeeeep, guess what time it is???? Whooop Whooop! //dances around ❤❤❤😳🥺🥺😳❤🌈 This week gonna be funnnnn!

.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’ .*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ:。’･ﾟ｡.*:・’ﾟ: ｡.*:・’ﾟ:｡.*:ﾟ･’ﾟﾟ

How in the high heavens did Mitsuhide allow this to happen. Had he truly lost his mind—gone entirely insane— or perhaps he had been drugged, yes, for there was no other logical explanation as to why on earth he would humour his friends so.

Sitting on the high stool at the bar, he checked his phone, 8:53— he would give her seven more minutes and then he was going to yeet out— that way, at least he could tell the other that he ‘tried’. After all, that was all he promised his friends— that he would show up—nothing more, nothing less.

Tracing his finger along the rim of the whiskey glass, Mitsuhide contemplated the events that transpired leading to this rather unfortunate present day.

All his friends were either dating or married—tragic really—and for some or other reason, they felt the need to pry into his personal life. “Don’t you want to share your life with someone,” the mother of the group started, which inevitably only caused the rest of the group to latch onto the idea and turn the once serious board meeting into a game of matchmaking. It certainly didn’t help that he agreed to a blind date willingly— well semi willingly, anything to get them off his back— adding a condition of his own, that the mouse would have to agree to it from her side without intervention from theirs.

He was confident she would refuse, from the words of friends, she certainly sounded like someone of likewise thinking— a fellow workaholic with no time for dating. But she — to his great surprise— accepted.

It made no sense to him. What made even less sense was why his friends thought the two would click, as personalities and hobbies certainly didn't seem to gell well— at least not in his mind.

Not that any of that mattered as time was ticking away, and she had one more minute to show up before he would call it a night.

A myriad of texts illuminated his phone, and Mitsuhide could only release a dejected sigh from the latest of messages plaguing the group chat. “Be nice and behave yourself,” the mother hen had said.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” came the instigation from Masamune, followed by an array of winking faces and smirk emojis. Now you can only imagine the chaos that unleashed upon the group chat with each member laying their own little egg and nugget of wisdom.

“M-Mitsu?” a soft unsure voice spoke up from beside him, tapping him gently on the shoulder.

Switching his phone off, he plastered a snek-like smile across his features before turning his sharp eyes onto the unfortunate little victim of his company.

“My, you must be the little mouse I’ve heard so much about," came the sly words from his mouth as he gestured for you to take a seat beside him.

With a slight smile shot his way, you took up residence on the tall barstool, “In the flesh,” came your cheeky voice as you shrugged off your jacket and placed both elbows on the table to rest your chin upon your hands.

“And you must be the detective?” you quipped back.

Mitsuhide smiled at that, eyes taking on a mischievous glint as he leaned in closer to drop his voice to a dangerous whisper, “of sorts,” he quickly looked behind him — to add to the suspicion— before returning his attention to you, “and you, my dear, have unfortunately been set up and caught in the foxes trap.”

He kept your gaze in all seriousness.

He was sure you had heard the rumours of his interrogation methods, being no secret at all in the little town you occupied, people, unfortunately, liked to gossip — and whether the rumours of his wicked ways of getting information out of suspects had been spread intentionally or not, people tend to move with caution around him. It was, unfortunately, the nature of his job, and as such, led him down this long lonely road.

You narrowed your eyes at the man, silence befalling the pair of you as you held his gaze before responding in an equally intimidating voice, “have you now, or is it you who has been caught in my trap.”

After another pause, you threw your head back in a burst of laughter without a care in the world. 'He seems fun,' you thought, shooting a wink in the direction of the bartender in thanks for the whiskey on the rocks. You picked up the crystal glass and swirled the liquid around before taking a long sip. It had been a long day, so much so that you almost wanted to stand the poor man up, yet you came anyway, if only for a stiff drink to ease the tension of the day.

“So, Mr fox detective, sir, what’s wrong with you that your friends felt the need to set you up on a blind date, and with me of all people! Do they hate you or something?" you asked, tilting your head to the side in curiosity.

In the dimly lit bar, you gave Mitsuhide a quick once over— he was handsome, in a dangerous, mysterious kind of way. He reminded you of a creature of myths— a kitsune— with his white hair and golden eyes accompanied by that razor-sharp smile. Perhaps that is why the rumours surrounding him were all so believable to the simpletons of the town who had nothing better to do than gossip— cause heaven forbid they do actual work for a change. Relatively speaking, you had not paid the gossip much mind. Instead, you were in the business of judging a book for yourself and not by what others rated it as.

“I could ask the same of you, little one?” he returned the question back to you, resting his chin on his hands.

“Well, to put it simply, my friends don’t know the difference between being alone and being lonely,” you said with a sigh, taking another sip of the drink in front of you.

Mitsuhide nodded in response, long fingers tracing over his glass thoughtfully with a hum of acknowledgement as you continued. “I knew if I refused to come tonight, they would just pester me until I agreed, so, in the name of some peace and quiet, here I am,” you ended off with a laugh and shake of the head.

Perhaps that was not entirely true; sometimes, you wondered what it would be like to find love— to have company to attend the various friend’s weddings with— after all, you were forever the bridesmaid and never the bride.

On the other hand, he knew the struggles of meddling friends all too well, and of course, the endless headache that accompanied the refusal of their ‘help’. He lifted his glass towards you, features softening as eyes crinkled at the seams in a semi genuine smile, “to meddlesome friends.”

You smiled brightly at that, clinking your glass with his as a comfortable silence befell the two of you—it looks like you had more in common than just your workaholic ways.

After a couple of minutes had passed, both your phones lit up at the same time, with an array of nosy friends asking about the ongoing date. And the two of you couldn’t help but burst into laughter and shake your heads in unison, “Unbelievable,” you spoke, taking another sip, an idea forming in your head to get them off your case for a little while longer.

Mitsuhide raised a curious brow at you as you silently lifted your phone, scrolling between the apps before landing on the camera. You shot him a mischievous smile before throwing your arm around his shoulder to pull him closer to you, “What do you think they would say if we sent a selfie,” you said, looking into the camera smiling brightly as finger spammed the little circle capturing a dozen or so photos before Mitsuhide even had time to rebuff. You never did mind creating a bit of chaos, and what better way to do so than, god forbid, you actually hit it off with the man.

“I wonder,” was all he said with a sly smile, and to your surprise, Mitsuhide actually smiled in a handful of the ones captured.

You quickly edited the picture, posting it onto the group with a cheeky caption; however, before locking your phone once more, something in the image caught your attention—a little sticker on Mitsuhide’s trench coat lapel. Your brows furrowed as you zoomed in to inspect it before they lifted to the man beside you, to see it in person. With a curious smile and finger pointed out to the little fox sticker, you couldn’t help but ask, “What’s with the little fox?”

“It’s a long story, my dear,” he said with an air of mystery, but you persisted, leaning closer to get a better look.

“Well, I have time,” the words fell from your mouth, followed by another round of drinks ordered.

“You truly wish to know, little one?” he replied with glowing eyes. And that was the beginning of the end.

The origin story of the fox sticker led to another, that, then led to another and then another. Until a fun game started between the two of you— a story for a story— each new tale accompanied by a new round of drinks ordered.

It was now your turn to tell yet another exciting story, this time about your childhood of all things, however, time had quickly slipped away, and before you knew it, your eyelids started to grow heavy with sleep, words coming out slower and slower until finally your head fell and landed on Mistuhised shoulder.

“My, my little one, you should not let your guard down so easily with a man like me,” the tender words were spoken; it was one of those rare occasions Mitsihide dropped his foxlike mask and wore a genuine smile.

He looked over to see you sound asleep, and it seemed that his fingers moved to their own accord, reaching up to twirl a strand of your hair between his fingertips. After a moment or two, he shrugged off his trench coat and draped it over your shoulders to keep you warm and protected from the cold night’s chill.

“Come along, little mouse; I believe it is time for sleepy mice to go to bed.”

He then proceeded to gently hook his arm around your legs and waist, picking you up bridal style and cradling you to his chest.

“You truly are a troublesome little one, whatever shall I do with you,” he spoke fondly as he carefully loaded you into the passenger seat of his car before securing the seatbelt around you, while you, completely unstirred, remained fast asleep.

You awoke the next day in your own bed, splitting headache nagging at your temples as unfocused gaze locked onto a glass of water and aspirin left by your bedside. Sitting up, you wasted no time taking the hangover cure, memories of the previous night flooding your head.

“Shit shit shit shit,” you curse under your breath, throwing yourself back and covering your head with a pillow— how very uncool of you to just pass out in front of a stranger like that, never mind how unsafe.

Your phone buzzed on the bedside table beside you, cutting your groans of embarrassment and cringe short, replacing it instead with a broad smile upon reading the text from your mysterious date.

#akechi mitsuhide #ikemen mitsuhide #mitsuhide fanfic #mitsuhide #mitsuhide x reader #ikesen akechi mitsuhide #Hehehe is a new birthday bash afoot?#i wonder?

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gagmebucky · 4 years

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hiiii i wrote this awhile ago but took it down because i was 👉🏼👈🏼 embarrassed about it (because i do not have the skill to pull off peter parker) and sorta still am but everyone’s been so nice to me about it i thought the best way to repay the kindness by posting it for those who did like it 😅 (originally inspired by spider man 2 with andrew garfield but loosely set in the 2018 issue of the amazing spider-man.)

in which the guys are making fun of peter and accidentally see a video of him fucking you. (includes avenger!peter x girlfriend!you, peter’s pov, voyeur!steve and voyeur!bucky, a sex tape featuring d/s dynamics, bondage, praise kink, exhibitionism, unprotected sex.)

do not repost.

—

Despite being twenty-one years old; a proper adult who lives with his high school sweetheart, a photographer doubling as a seven-year veteran vigilante in the dangers of New York, Peter Parker is still considered as a super-powered amateur to his seasoned peers.

Nonetheless, given his success in countless battles in the state, country, world and even galaxy-wide, he more than qualifies to hold the title of Avenger; it’s official now. A laid-back induction ceremony and his very own identity card: a sturdy rectangle, shiny with full clearance and all. Yet, as an official member, his teammates still treat him like he’s that same goofy, out-of-his-depths sixteen year old.

To be fair, yes, his style of heroism isn’t the most serious. He favors levity in the face of danger, a cheeky flare with smart quips and an infuriating grin. Even after taking a beating from the worst of foes, his demeanor never wavers because in the end, he wins. The villains are slayed and the people are saved, even comforted by the boyishly confident way he works.

But beyond that persona, he has grown into a skilled warrior. On that note, he wants to be regarded as such—at least, to a certain extent. The jokes and teasing, poking fun at his age or the shenanigans he gets himself into, don’t bother him. No, his playful wit handles it with relative ease, and he’s a good sport about it. The only thing that he’d want to see change is some recognition that he isn’t a naïve kid anymore and is fully capable of taking charge when needed.

With his recent acceptance into the gifted pantheon, he’s intent on making that known. The jesting can continue but he wants it to be with an understanding of his capabilities. Luckily, a perfect opportunity has presented itself to showcase his abilities: a training session.

He’s late. And yes, he knows that’s probably not a good impression to make.

In his own defense, it isn’t technically his fault. He forgot that you, his personal alarm clock (amongst other things), left early this morning because you volunteered to help his aunt move. Four years of mornings and nights, he’s gotten used to—and prefers—your languorous wake-up call.

Without your reminder, he regains consciousness fifteen minutes after the scheduled time and ends up scrambling to the compound. In a flurry, he throws on his suit—unknowingly backwards, he realizes later—trips at least three times over his own footing before he finally springs out of the balcony with webbed bursts.

When he reaches his destination, Captain America and the Winter Soldier are unimpressed; mid-simulation, it powers down. Both super-soldiers whirl around to face him, fixing raised eyebrows at his disheveled arrival.

He adjusts his now front-facing suit and shuffles forward into the space with as much confidence as an interrupter can have. “H - hey, guys,” Peter greets sheepishly and manages what he hopes is a charming smile, absentmindedly fidgeting with his phone. “Lookin’ good for a couple of geezers.”

Unfortunately, Steve Rogers is not charmed or disillusioned from the tardiness. “You’re late, Parker.” His arms fold, and he shakes his head when punctuating his disapproval with an echoing, “Again.”

Thankfully, to his right, more relaxed and cool, Bucky Barnes steps up. “C’mon, Stevie. Y’can’t be that surprised,” he chimes in matter of factly, contrasting against his friend with amusement sparkling in his blue eyes. “What’d you expect with Parker?” He gestures at the younger superhero. “Kid’s gonna be late to his own wedding.”

(Beside the point, but worth noting, he will not be late to meeting you at the altar. That is, of course, if you accept when he pops the question. Which is going to happen relatively soon, considering he has the ring in his nightstand drawer.)

The consult seems to relax him. “Yeah, I guess you’re right and—Peter, you—seriously, man?!” Steve sputters the last bit when he glanced over to see him blatantly check the notification that’s vibrated in his hand (on the device that is ruled to be stowed away during training). “Now the phone?!”

Even though he shouldn’t, being on thin ice with Cap and all (pun not intended), Peter’s gaze flickers down to see your contact name appear on the screen, and he can’t resist. While Bucky guffaws a laugh at his audacity, he’s swiping up to pull up your text thread.

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:37AM: spider boyyyyy you’ll never guess what i found in a box labeled ‘peter’s junk’ ;;;)

peter, 10:37AM: those magazines are NOT mine and i don’t know how they got there.

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: not quite but close, naughty boy

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: for a man who depends on keeping secrets and a penchant for home movies, you might ought to keep a lock on your phone unless you want someone to see me like this...

> you 😛❤️🥰, 10:38AM: (video attached)

Immediately, he recognizes the pornographic thumbnail. One glance, and he’s remembering the first couple of times you guys explored the exhibitionism side of things. It was at the end of his freshman year of college and taped on a phone he thought he had lost. But he must've forgotten it at his aunt’s house, and she tossed it in the box until you came along.

Although there’s been plenty more made, he recalls that one being a shared favorite, his especially. When long-distance duty calls, it was his go-to media. The angles, your face and body beneath the lights, the sounds it caught, you once asked if he considered switching to cinematography instead of photographer

Subconsciously, his teeth run over his bottom lip, feeling that blazing spark of desire igniting in the pit of his gut, partially at the memory and partially at what’ll happen once you guys can re-watch it together; his thumbs start typing away with that message.

“Peter!” Steve’s exasperated voice snaps, but to no avail—the real gall of the youngster, or the effect of you. His weight shifts toward his best friend, and he nudges him with his elbow. “Kids these days!” The hundred-something year old’s gaze cocks a brow back over. “Is that why you were late? Blowing off training to text your girlfriend?”

The text delivers with an audible bloop. Finally, his concentration gives, and he can look up, though his expression is clueless from the last minute. “Huh?” His brain registers what he missed, and he winces. “Sorry, Cap. My bad.”

Bucky chuckles. “Give him a break, Steve,” he faux comes to his defense, a teasing quality underlying his tone. “He’s young and in love. It’s not his fault he’s pussy-whipped.” He cracks him an antagonizing grin as Peter rolls his eyes. “He can’t go an hour without sending those little weird pictures with heart eyes, or she might not know he’s thinking about her.”

“As if you know anything about romance, old man,” he fires back and presses past them with squared shoulders, correcting him quite seriously: “And they’re called emojis, by the way. But that’s not what I was doing, if you want to know so bad.”

The brunette tilts his head thoughtfully, and small hackles arise for reasons he doesn’t understand, or pay attention to. “You know, I do want to know really badly,” Bucky decides and poses a question to his left, “Wouldn’t you, too, Steve? Aren’t you curious what his girlfriend sent that was so much more important than training?”

The blond mimics his actions and clicks his tongue. “Yeah, I am.”

Peter’s eyebrows pinch while his skin tingles and the hair on the back of his neck stands straight up. “What—” Before his senses process it, one of the super-soldiers plucks his phone out of his hands and darts back beside his best friend. His jaw drops as he tries to follow after him. “Bucky, you asshole—”

“Some spidey senses, huh?” The Winter Soldier lifts it high over his head, utilizing his six-foot stature against his five-ten like elementary school bullies do and older siblings to their juniors. “Haven’t ‘cha heard about sharing with the class?” He laughs and practically stiff-arms him to squint up at the screen. “Aw, he can’t wait to see her. What’s it been, more than two hours since you two saw each other last?”

Conceding to the height difference, Peter stops his physical efforts and diverts it to someone reasonable. “Cap, you gonna help me out here?” he addresses the entertained onlooker in the most friendly voice he can manage.

“The kid’s got separate anxiety not just from his girlfriend but phone too, Buck,” Steve drawls with a lopsided curve of his lips. He side-steps Peter to stand next to Bucky, and for a second, he thinks he’s on his side despite the tease, but he simply adds a stern, “So be careful. You don’t want to break it, or Parker will have a fit.”

Peter crosses his arms and scowls. “Ha, ha,” he retorts dryly, only somewhat amused by their banter. He tilts his head up at them, and the duo look thoroughly pleased with themselves. “You know, you guys are kind of dicks.”

“No, we’re your mentors, kid,” Steve corrects with a wink and rests his arm on his friend’s shoulder. “This is a lesson. No phones—” He jabs his thumb back in reference to the device’s unlocked screen: “—when you’re supposed to be training.”

“Yeah,” Bucky chimes in upon glancing up from his phone. “And a little advice, women don’t like clinginess. Try being a little more stern and see how that works for you. If you’re able to manage that. But I won’t hold it against ya if you can’t.”

“Uh-huh,” Peter patronizes with a bob of his head, biting back a response pointing out the hundred-something year old’s inexperience. Instead, he focuses on the electronic readily loaded up with some private content. With that, he decides to do the rational and mature thing and ask nicely. “Noted. So, uh, can I have my phone back now?”

To his shock, Bucky merely flashes a smirk and his thumb scrolls half-heartedly over the thread. Thereafter, he leans toward Steve and raises his cell for him to see. “Oh, look, it’s a video,” he teases. “What could Y/N send that would take priority of training?”

There’s an unspoken let’s see then a metal finger taps the play button. Before Peter can think, much less react, Captain American and the Winter Soldier are watching how he effortlessly renders his pretty little girlfriend into a cute nonsensical yet eager mess—

In his point-of-view shot, the ratio holds in portrait view in a bid to capture every bit of you. Above you, the camera focuses on you and your beautifully debauched state beneath warm lighting where it’s unalienable that the camera was made for you.

Your eyes are dilated brightly, desperate with desire as your lashes flutter up at him. A sheen coats your features and glistens like glitter at the highest points of your face while the shape of your face is framed by your stretched arms.

Your wrists are bound over your head, splotched with expertly sprayed strong, white webs. The mesh sticks them together in a criss-cross, comfortable but nearly impossible to break out of, fixed in place atop his headboard. The tautness tugs a mild strain on your figure so your breasts are jutting out like an offering, and it’s obvious he’s taken advantage of it. Darkened marks adorn your glowing complexion, peppered across your décolletage with imprints of his teeth; including your nipples, sucked swollen and tender.

The angle trails down until it reveals the sight of him mercilessly pounding inside of you. His better-than-average girth is sliding in and out of your tight channel; slicked in shared translucent essence, creaming around the base, your inner walls visibly clinging to his cock with every backward stroke. His hand splays on your mound, using his thumb to abuse your engorged clit. He easily keeps the sensitive nub pinned under his control despite your wildly twisting hips.

Like the display, the soundtrack is equally obscene. Loud, your stuffed depths gush and squelch as skin slaps rhythmically. Your breathy, wanton moans overshadow both, drawn out whimpers, almost nonsensical other than the syllable of his name. A melody of neediness, you sound so fucking pretty, (depraved, like a whore, you once told him during your little film marathon with a sly smile), and for him specifically.

The frame pans upward and confirms you look just as good. A perfect mess, unhinged by the skilled ministrations of your boyfriend. Passion beads on your forehead like reflections off of a diamond. Panting, your lips are plumped from kissing parted with mewls of pleasure.

“P - please—I need to—can I - I please—” You’re begging like the sweet little thing you are, incoherent babbling the result of his excessive edging. Of course, you know better than to give into the sensations ravaging you; instead you ignore your visceral desire and ask him for your release. “Peter, please!”

A deep chuckle vibrates behind the camera as his big hand slides into view, trailing over your jiggling tits to the slope of your throat. “Maybe,” he says breathily and grasps the line of your jaw between his fingers. “Open your mouth first, babe.”

No more preamble necessary, you follow his direction, your pink tongue flat over your Cupid’s bow. Immediately, a long string of his saliva drips into view and onto your taste buds; the vulgar act is accepted with a swallow and a quivering moan of, “T - thank you.”

“Good girl,” he praises huskily, and the voiced approval has you visibly shivering. “Alright, then, pretty girl. Make it good for me, and c’mon—”

Before your otherworldly reckoning washes over you and his teammates can watch your bliss immortalized in film, Peter snatches his property back.

Not much force is necessary as Bucky’s grip has been stunned loose. A dark expression permeates on young hero’s face but not because of embarrassment; if he was still nineteen or eighteen, he would’ve been mortified that his titular superiors caught a depraved glimpse of his sex life, on both his and your behalf. Rather than, there’s just a flit of annoyance when he folds his arms.

“Shit,” Bucky is the first to speak, exhaling the swear raggedly. His blue pupils have widened in obvious attraction, dilated dark, blinking rapidly as if it’ll help calm him down from the clip of you, his innocent seeming girlfriend, all ruined and begging. “Parker, fuck, I - I didn’t know you got down like that.”

There’s a swell in his chest, pride beating steadily while he remains reticent-faced. He prefers you keep your bedroom activities secluded there. Yeah, he likes to be in control and you like to be controlled but it’s only in a sexual nature. Yet, their reactions—stunned, embarrassed and viscerally affected—surges smug satisfaction he’s never known before through his veins.

Even the prestigious Captain America is bothered, though he may try to hide it. He clears his throat, a flustered pink coloring his cheeks. “Peter, uh,” he says, barely maintaining the confidence to look him in the eye after witnessing his girlfriend like that. “We - we shouldn’t have invaded your privacy like that.”

“Uh-huh,” is Peter’s response, a hint of a smirk curling on one side of his lips. “Why don’t you guys call me after you’re finished with your cold showers, and we can actually train. Until then, I’m gonna go to my girl who’s more than eager to handle mine.” He pauses. “Maybe if you guys ask nice enough, I might let her show you how well I’ve trained her.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #marvel smut imagines #spiderman x reader smut #marvel smut #heh I am going to pass out #I..#goodnight im off me ass sjdjjsxj

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korgbelmont · 4 years

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Newsletter 22/01/21

In the midst of the difficulties and uncertainties happening around the world, we're pressing onward to produce books we hope you'll fall in love with. As we continue to support one another within our studio, we can truly say that your thoughtful feedback has encouraged us during these challenging times. While we can't predict what'll happen next, we hope our 2021 books will provide you an outlet to smile, laugh, and relax during these times...

Book Updates

Without further ado, we wanted to take the time to update you on the various books to expect in the coming year. Hopefully, these will answer your most pressing questions!

With Every Heartbeat

Aching for another heartfelt Choices story? We're releasing this VIP book to all players at the end of the month. (Eagle-eyed fans might notice we've even updated some of the main character hairstyles!) Be sure to follow our official social accounts for more previews...

So It looks like WEH MC will have some new hairstyles, I know for a fact that this book SOOOO good, can’t wait to see peoples reactions to it.

Open Heart, Book 3

This February, make the most of your third year at Edenbrook and reunite with your favorite medical crew in Open Heart, Book 3! Will the heart of Edenbrook remain the same in Leland Bloom's hands?

So it looks like they are setting up the plot to have Bloom as the villain and the gang finding a way to get rid of him whilst keeping Edenbrook open. I am still wary of this book, but will see it through as I do believe it is the final book of the series.

#ChoicesCookbook

Calling all food lovers! Our team is whipping up a new dish of choices in the kitchen. Get your pots and pans ready for this exclusive Choices VIP book! We'd love to see you all participate with recipes of your own... What delectable dish can you make with these ingredients? Let us know using #playchoices and #ChoicesCookbook.

So this is a part of their branching out into new genres, I have no clue what to expect, I will keep an eye on it. and see what it’s like

Laws of Attraction

Bring your A-game to beat out the competition in this brand new title set in one of New York’s premier law firms. With high-profile cases and a hard-driving, mysterious boss, you’ll be in for dramatic days… and steamy nights!

So it looks like we are getting another book that’s potentially gonna be on the more... mature side. I am curious to see how this will play out and what the premise is going to be.

Crimes of Passion

We’re hyped for this book, and although it won’t be out until later this year, we couldn’t resist sharing a little peek at what you can expect from this thrilling, unpredictable, and jaw dropping mystery book.

So I haven’t exactly been quiet about my excitement for this book, and this image gives off some SERIOUS culty vibes. Crimes of Passion is definitely my top book for this year to keep an eye on.

The Nanny Affair, Book 2

Book 2 of The Nanny Affair is in the works and will be releasing later this year. Can't wait to find out what's going to happen next? Here's the latest hint:

"We have a lot of exciting plans in the works for The Nanny Affair, Book 2 (and trust me, the art team is outdoing themselves). We don't want to give away too much, but let's just say, you may not be the only nanny in town this time around..." - Megan

As I said before, I enjoyed book 1 and am looking forward to book 2. I am curious as to how it will all play out, by the sounds of this, maybe Sam gets another Nanny in whilst they and MC work to sort out the fallout from the wedding??

Zombies

We know plenty of you have been dying for a zombie book. (Yes, we see those tweets and messages!) Until now, we were only able to share a zombie emoji… But we can make this official: zombies will be taking over Choices later this year, so stay tuned!

So I’ve been playing a lot of Resident Evil recently, and the creatures on the right give me serious RE vibes. I am now curious as to what the premise of this book will be and how it will all play out.

The Royal Finale

As mentioned in our last Choices Insiders email, the final book of The Royal Romance series will air later this year. Here's a quote from the Book Lead to tide you over until then:

"In The Royal Finale, you'll uncover new secrets, unravel old mysteries, and experience new heights of royalty with your family!" - Olivia

I hope the “unravel old mysteries” is in part, reference to what part Jackson played in Liam’s mother’s second child. And with the whole secret society thing, who knows what’s gonna happen.

Queen B, Book 2

You just can’t get enough of us, can you, newbie? Enjoy that high of being Queen B… Because what goes up, must always come down. - Kisses, the T.

Oooh, we're excited! Writers Chelsa and Maya have sent us this cryptic message:

🤫🙈✉️👑🐝🔥❌🎧🐍💋

What do you think it means?

Emojis and I have a terrible history so I ain’t gonna try and decrypt that (leave a reply if you do). As for the book itself, I am looking forward to it, aside from the forced Kingsley romance, I enjoyed book 1. I looking forward to the mystery element and hopefully seeing Zoey get her proper LI treatment, and hopefully see Veronica & Carter become LIs.

More New Books in the works!

We are continuing to work on more multi-gender books, including Blades of Light & Shadow 2 launching 2022.

More books. Yay (in theory (depends what they are))

News about Other Sequels

Many of you have asked when or if your favorite books would continue. We want to make sure we inform the community with confirmed and finalized details regarding sequels. To explain a little more in depth about how Choices sequels are decided, our Head of Content Max took some time to give us that insight:

After a great deal of consideration and discussion, we have decided that officially these series will not be getting additional books: Most Wanted, Hero, Nightbound, the It Lives series, The Elementalists, Distant Shores, and Ride-or-Die.I know this may be disappointing to hear, and the truth is, we’re always disappointed when we have to make this decision. I’d like to share a little bit of our process to help you understand why this happens.

Whilst it is a shame, it is nice to have clarification, especially with Most Wanted & Hero. I was surprised to see that Ride or Die won’t be getting a sequel, but sometimes these things happen. As for It Lives, Distant Shores, Elementalists, and Nightbound, I knew they wouldn’t get sequels, but it is a bit of a heart punch to see some personal faves get an official status of concluded.

About once a month, I, along with a small group of Pixelberry's senior staff, make the hard decisions about which books will be written next. Deciding whether or not we make a sequel is an evolving process that we've refined over the years. But even today, it remains ever-changing, and it's never simple.

So I don’t really know what to say here, it’s rather self explanatory. So, yeah.

Sometimes, we want to do a sequel but the Lead Writer is no longer available because they’ve moved onto another project or even left the company. We've tried changing Lead Writers in the past, only to watch sequels struggle, losing sight of what made the original great. This is what happened in the case of Ride or Die; we simply don’t have the team now with the passion and vision to give fans the sequel they crave.

I saw a post by @thefirstcourtesan that OH and ROD share a book lead and after what happened to OH2, it is understandable what happens, and sometimes these things will happen. As for ROD, it works as a standalone, and I am okay with there not being a sequel.

Sometimes a book is a critical darling, beloved by both fans and Pixelberry staff... yet the player numbers aren't there to justify doing another one. This is what happened, for example, with Nightbound, Most Wanted and Distant Shores; while these books were beloved by their players, simply not enough players were starting them to begin with. And these are the ones that hurt the most. We genuinely love these books, but if they haven’t found enough of an audience with our players, then it’s very hard to argue for making a sequel. Believe me, I can't think of a single writer on my team who isn't passionate about their book, but ultimately we are one company in an extremely competitive space, and we have to do whatever it takes to keep running well. If a Book costs significantly more to make than it brought in, it’s very difficult to justify a sequel.

Again, I don’t really know what to say here, again it’s rather self explanatory. Given how long it’s been since Most Wanted, it was safe to say BK2 weren’t happening.

Other times, everyone online seems to hate a book, but the numbers disagree. It's hard to believe, but your most loathed book -- the one that you feel no way deserved a sequel -- might actually be the one that's keeping the lights on for us. And without those books (and those players!), half a dozen other beloved titles may never have existed. We're thankful for sequels. They help us fund future books and projects to try new things. If it weren’t for the success of sequels to books like The Royal Romance and America’s Most Eligible, we would never have been able to try a risky experiment like Blades of Light and Shadow.

This comes across a tiny bit boasty, but it is kinda true, their more generally released romance books are why we get the big ones such as Blades, and I know people diamond mine the quicker released books for the big ones. So, yeah, I don’t really know how to say it, sorry.

We love our online fandom, and your passion, creativity, and art. At the same time, the most visible parts of the fandom sometimes represent a smaller percentage of our players, many of whom might have completely different taste. We have a vast varied player base, and our job is to try as hard as we can to create interesting stories for all of them.

Finally, saying no to one book almost always means saying yes to something new. And without new there is no Pixelberry. When we said no to Most Wanted, much of that team went on to write Endless Summer. When we decided to stop making sequels to Rules of Engagement, that team went on to create The Royal Romance.

With every new book we create, I hope against hope that it'll be our next hit, the start of a ten-volume series that fans will love and support! Some of them are. Some of them aren't. Either way, I hope you stick with us. Sequels are great. So are new things, and I hope most of all that your true favorite Choices book is still out there, waiting to be written.

The fandom is going to make up a small section of it and at the end of the day, they are a company, so the numbers are gonna be what counts. And in saying no to a sequel, it means they can go on to experiment with new story ideas.

Looking Forward

Internally we've been working on the representation promises that we made in June 2020. We've implemented some new Black hairstyles into With Every Heartbeat, and will continue to add more new hairstyles in our upcoming books. We plan on posting a representation blog in the coming months to share a full update of our progress.

So I am curious to see how VIP players would react to updates to With Every Heartbeat, but I am glad to see representation being shown and that they are working on it.

Last but not least... We appreciate you <3

We’ve seen a rise in constructive criticism in our social channels and want to personally thank you for all of your honest feedback. We read all of your concerns and continue to evolve our thinking and processes based on your feedback. At the same time we take our responsibility of crafting stories very seriously. Sometimes we disagree with suggestions or due to constraints can’t enable changes we agree with, but we do try to improve over time and learn from your feedback.

We also continue to ask that you communicate with each other respectfully. And keep in mind that just like with other parts of the internet, just because someone posts something doesn’t mean it’s always true. To everyone who helps keep our community a safe place to freely share your thoughts, opinions and love - thank you. Your respect and kindness goes a long way, and we are looking forward to spending more time with all of you in the coming year.

We’re looking forward to a great 2021 with you!

Finally, I’m glad that they’re reading what people are saying, it is understandable that there will be disagreements with suggestions, that’s just life, it’s human nature. I am curious to see what will be released in the coming year and how they will play out.

In summary

I had a feeling that books they said won’t get sequels weren’t, especially Hero and Most Wanted. It is sad to see that It Lives won’t be concluded, and I knew Nightbound & Distant Shores weren’t going to get sequels (unfortunately).

Glad to see them making more multi gender books, hopefully we will get more like Foreign Affairs with the different pro-noun options.

I am curious about Laws of Attraction and very much looking forward to seeing how Crimes of Passion will play out. I will post my thoughts and theories as we get new information

Stay safe everyone :)

#playchoices #thoughts and theories #very long post

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karukos · 3 years

Photo

Mirrors: FFNet || Ao3

Waking up normally was not the most exciting thing in the world. Normally, it was the exact opposite. No matter how well you slept, no matter how disciplined you were and no matter at what time you awoke... nobody woke up and felt like jumping out of their bed with a summersault and whatever else boundless energy would make you do.

Izuku Midoriya might be the exception. At least for now. It was going, relatively normal really. The alarm went off, he groggily opened his eyes, trying to resolve himself to rise up early, as he did every day. Normally, this was the part where he would grab his phone, scroll through various sites for a few minutes before getting up... This time however...

He would not even dare unlock his phone, not even turning on the screen. Lying in bed like a statue frozen in place he looked at one thing and one thing only. That little light at the corner of the device that steadily blinked like a heartbeat... He got a message... or maybe worse... he might have gotten a reply!

Anxiously he stared at the blinking light, his hands feeling like they would start shaking any second, if they weren't already and he didn't notice until now. For some reason that was even more nerve wracking than typing the actual message. Like getting an exam back, not knowing how well you did on it...

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. In the end, it was just a text message. Nothing serious... right? So he unlocked the phone... and almost locked it again. Regardless, he could feel the heat rise into his head as he threw himself onto the other side of his bed, pressing his face into the pillow.

He hadn't really been able to read what was written, but he had gotten far enough. There was the reply. The sender was Toga. And here he thought he was prepared. He thought. He was wrong. There was a sound that wanted to press itself out of his throat but he kept it under wraps. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up the whole dorm with his inhuman screeching, because he got a text message back.

So with all the pressure mounting in his chest, he unlocked his phone a second time, opening the text messenger and just read:

"Hi Izu~! 😘"

He looked at it. He stared at it. Somehow, he shouldn't be surprised. Somehow he actually was. He had gotten a reply and it was... It was too early in the morning to use his brain. The message had shocked him awake, yes, but that didn't mean in any way that he was functioning right about now.

If anything now he somehow felt lightheaded, incredibly tired even though he had just woken up. There had been a weight on his chest that had been lifted. It was not much but it was definitely there!

Then it dawned on him. Slowly. Surely. Inevitably. That meant he still had to reply. He didn't even really start a conversation. He just sent her a message.

Aaaand there was the weight again. It was one thing to start a conversation when nervous when you were PHYSICALLY next to each other. A totally different thing, however, when you both were only in that nebulous space that was the digital world. What the hell was he supposed to talk about with her? Maybe just how are you? He typed it out for a moment... then deleted it. That sounded... off. Too formal, but not really that...

Maybe...No. Asking how she got her number into his phone? That would... probably sound way too angry for what he was going for. Although... Did he mind? This was, after all, exciting. Even if it was somewhat wrong.

He pushed that thought to the side quickly instead choosing to maybe write up another question. Even if he asked, there was no way of knowing if she was lying to him. She could certainly. He didn't want to give her the chance or the need to. He was curious but he didn't want to know. Instead he wanted to focus on the fuzzy feeling it was giving him instead.

Now he kinda wished he could ask somebody for advice. He had no experience writing with anybody like that. Especially not with all the baggage that was coming with their current situation. Normally, he would not even feel that uncomfortable asking either Tsuyu and Ochaco for help, maybe Mina if he felt like he could handle the teasing, but right now... no this was probably not really an option he had.

With a sigh of frustration, he locked his phone, rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. Maybe he would need to sit on this for a while. He was not sure how fast Toga expected an answer so... he was taking his time. Patience was a virtue after all. A virtue that he had to practice not only with other people but himself, on occasion.

So he got up, looked around, made his bed, sorted out the clothes for today and... then looked back at his phone. There was no way for him to ignore the phone really. He was going through the motions, but really it was circling around to that thing. He needed to respond, didn't he? It was rude to leave somebody on read...

So there he was, sitting there with his phone in hand, looking at the greeting words she had written. And now to reply:

How did you get this number? Delete. What are you doing? Delete. This IS Toga, right? Delete. Delete. Delete. What am I even writing? Delete.

The last one brought in some catharsis, having written out what he was feeling, that little bit of frustration that needed to be let out otherwise it was starting to clog up his thin pipes. More than his nervousness already did.

With a little sigh, he looked down. The first choice would be the best in the end. A response was better than no response, right? She would hopefully take it the right way.

"How are you?" Sent.

That was it. Right? That meant he could go about his day now. At least it felt that way in a way. It was at least enough for him to get up and actually start his day off properly. Getting washed, brushing his teeth, getting dressed properly before he got back into his room and a familiar blinking light.

"🤭 I’m doing just fine! Wbu?!"

This was... so much easier now for some reason. It was just a hurdle he had to climb at the beginning it seemed.

"Good. Getting ready for the day."

That felt like it was vague enough to not feel like he was saying too much. After all this... was still all kinds of weird to him. Not the writing itself but who he was writing. That everything was comparatively normal did not help that fact either probably.

He sat down on his bed as he immediately saw the sign on the screen. Toga was already typing back at him, clearly having waited for his response.

"Ooooh~ what's the plan?"

He was not quite sure how to reply at first. There was a strange bit of noise in his head that wanted to make him sound interesting. A little bit of a whisper that lying for that end might not even be bad. A stern reminder that embellishment is better because it was still the truth, before he consciously shut down all of those ideas.

"Going to get breakfast now. You?"

That seemed more truthful as he got up from his bed, sliding the phone into his pocket as he was about to leave the room, when he felt it vibrating against his thigh. While opening the door he looked down towards the text.

"Occupying my Izu~"

That felt... weird. Like a blush without the heat in his face, almost like it was stuck in his stomach for a moment, before the feeling passed, refusing to be introspective or identified.

"... is it working?"

With his phone still in his hand he made his way downstairs, watching the small dots jumping up and down as she was typing, hoping that he would not find a wall in front of his face or a distinct lack of floor underneath his feet when he started taking the steps.

"You tell me ;PPP"

Needless to say, he almost fell down the stairs at this point as his foot was gracing the edge of one particular step. At least it wizened him up to at least wait until he was at the bottom of the staircase before he replied, his heart still thumping up into his head... mostly from almost tripping.

"Works phenomenally."

It did not even take half a second for her to reply to that.

"😘🥰🥰"

Walking towards the fridge he started making himself some breakfast, meaning, mostly cereal with milk, eating it slowly while he thought of a reply, a smile plastered on his face, while he sat there, alone. He was, after all, the early bird of the dorm. For the better really. What would happen if they saw him sit there with his phone, grinning like an idiot. Speaking of getting up...

"Why are you waking up early?"

If he would focus, he might be able to hear the slow footsteps of Iida and Kacchan getting up. Not many people were used to being awake this early. Or so he thought. The sun hadn't even properly risen yet.

"I haven't even gone to bed yet 🤗"

For some reason, and he couldn't help himself, he just felt laughter rise in his throat, something he had to fight down hard, lest he would choke on it or spit all that milk over the table. Neither sounded too much fun. Somehow, he should have expected that response, yet he walked right into that.

"Aren't you tired yet?"

"Nah, I got a bit more juice to keep me going"

"You should probably go to sleep though..."

He tried to put his worried tone into the text the best he could. For a moment, he thought about adding an emoji, which was not usually his style, but he was already far out of his comfort zone with the... underlying emotion of this conversation so might as well try? In the end, he decided against it.

"Awww... don't you wanna talk with me anymore?"

How did she jump to that conclusion? Although she might be just teasing him. He was not quite sure. Either way, he probably should disarm that situation a little bit. His thumb raised over the keyboard as if speed mattered in the response:

"Of course I do... just want you to stay healthy."

If she was still awake, though, that probably was a nice sentiment but also probably a bit late. Now that he thought about it, she did have a bit of bags under her eyes every time he had seen her. Before she could even add a reply he asked:

"Are you staying up this late often?"

"Yeah. Are you up this early this often?"

"Yeah."

"Shouldn't you try and get more sleep?"

Ah, okay now she was turning this around on him. For some reason, he got the feeling of both concern and mischief from her side. On the one hand, she could definitely enjoy having used her own argument against him... on the other, of course there was always a bit of physical discomfort for getting up so early and if that was healthy was also up for debate.

"Touché :P"

"What are you even getting up so early for?"

For a moment, he thought about not really explaining it. What if he was giving intel, what if they learned he was up this early already then... but then it occurred to him, that it was neither really good intel, nor that it really mattered either way. He had already decided to trust her to this degree. She already knew he was awake. He was writing with her.

"Getting breakfast, waking up well before school and having time to work out a little bit."

"Every day?"

It had been... pretty much every day, for the last couple of months... probably up to a year or longer now. Ever since All Might dropped into his life, at least when he did so in person.

"Pretty much yeah." was his only response there. It was that after all. There was not really a way around it in this way.

"This feels like talking to an alien. How?! 🤣"

The fact that she sounded somewhat excited about this somehow was putting a smile on his face. He knew of course, that him being up so early was a bit weird for a teen, but come on, she was taking it a bit too far! And somehow he couldn't help but love it. Somehow it felt almost like a compliment in that sense.

"Just getting up... get yourself an alarm. You will manage."

"I can't get up at 12 PM with multiple alarms. And people say I am the crazy one."

He was just about finished with his breakfast for now, just smiling as he was texting Toga back. Slowly Iida and Bakugo started to enter the room, sleep hanging over their faces like a cloud as they tiredly greeted him. It was at least a sign for him to get up and start training, bringing his bowl to the kitchen and washing it off before making his way outside.

Here and there he would feel the vibration of his phone, quickly texting Toga back before sliding it back into his pocket, feeling a little bit happy each time. A small smile was like permanently carved onto his face, no matter how hard he was pushing himself.

It was then, when he was about to go to school that Toga finally wrote her final:

"Keep thinking about me, Izuuuu~ 😍"

Before she went to bed, leaving Deku to feel strangely... empty. As if to say goodbye to a friend at the end of the day. Like Bakugo used to when they were small... that thought just added a little bit more punch to the feeling... Even if maybe it was a tiny bit different.

For a moment, he pondered on it, trying to understand what was going on inside himself before he just slid the phone into his pocket and made his way back to his room and went about his day from there.

It was probably not the best idea to train now, that his mind was racing still from the interaction he just had, but he couldn't exactly skip today either. By the time he was finished with the training and got ready for school, his workout wasn't the only thing left that kept a healthy red glow on his cheeks.

At least a quick jump into the shower, helped him cool down a little. As shocking as stepping under the cold shower was, it did wonders for his mind. From there it started off as another day at school. Another day of challenges and studying... And a little distraction in his pocket that Izuku couldn't wait for.

And the question most prominent in his mind: Would that start being a daily thing?

#BNHA #My hero academia #Boku no Hero #Fanfic #Deku #Toga #izuku midoriya #Toga Himiko #my writing

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skytressmc · 5 years

Text

Horrortale!Sans x Reader || Memories

A little one-shot idea that came to mind. I am working On chapter 3 of How Can I Help You? But I wanted to get this idea out before I forgot! Hope you enjoy. (This hasn’t been proofread so if you find a mistake please let me know!)

Description: You’re gone to a meeting and Sans misses you. He decides to watch some videos you made for him.

Sans as always had problems with his memory.

Ever since the incident, he's memory comes and goes. Simply things like what day it was were hard for him.

So imagine how hard it is to remember stuff in a relationship. Things like birthdays and anniversaries slipped his mind so often. But you never got upset.

You were always forgiving towards him. No matter what you never were mad at him. And he loved you so much for that.

But the memory thing was starting to annoy him. Every day was a struggle for him, and he hated it. But you came up with an idea that could help him.

It was a silly idea but he loved it cause you thought of it. Every time you two would do something special, you would record it, and then send him the videos to him on his phone.

And here he was now, looking through those videos and photos. You were out doing monster ambassador things, and he missed you. He hated it when you went out in the world alone. Even though he wasn't in the underground anymore, he still had that fear.

So he was hoping to cheer himself with some videos of you.

He pressed his thumb on a video playing it. He felt himself smile as he heard your voice. It was a date you both went on.

It was a Fair, the only reason he went because of the greasy food there. You were eating some kind of deep-fried treat, he couldn't remember what it was.

"Sans! You got to try this!"

"heh ok"

He watched himself take a bite of the treat, then grab the whole thing from you making you laugh.

"Sans!"

"This is mine now"

The video ended. He swiped to another video, pressing play.

You were wearing a blue two-piece swimsuit. He felt himself blush. You've been together for almost 2 years now and he still was a mess when you showed some skin.

You were looking at the water smiling.

"Isn't beautiful Sans?"

"I'm looking at something more beautiful."

You turned towards the camera, face red.

He chuckled. That was his favorite video.

He spent a few more minutes watching videos, his worries fading away.

He jumps a bit feeling his phone buzz. You sent him a message. He goes to his messages.

You: Hey sugar skull. Miss you soooo much. And I know you must be worrying too. So here's something for you.

It was a video. He presses play curious.

You were holding your phone towards yourself as you walked down a hall. You were wearing a blue dress. Nothing fancy but it still made you look cute. "Hey sweetie, we're taking a little break. Meetings are going well but I really wanna be home with you, eating junk food and watching bad movies."

Sans smiles at this.

"But one more meeting and I will be home tonight!" You smiled "And we can cuddle and kiss and do whatever you want."

Cuddles and kisses? You knew how to get him going for sure. Yeah, you both had a sex life but simple things like kisses always made him melt.

"And this will be the last meeting for a long time, so we don't have to be far apart again. Now I have to go. I love you with all my heart and my soul."

San felt his soul do flips. What do you have to be so cute?

He pulled out his camera and took a breath, he pressed the record button.

"H-Hey dumpling. Got your message." he rubs the back of his neck "You don't know how happy that made me. I miss you so much and it makes me feel better that you're safe."

He looks towards the camera "As for cuddling and kisses? Count me in" He grins "Love that dress too. You should wear it more often." He chuckles.

"And I love you too" His red eye light shivered forming into a heart in his eye socket "with all my soul. Come back home quick ok? And safely."

He ended the video and sent it to you with a simple heart emoji.

Now all he had to do was wait for you to come home.

A nap wouldn't hurt.

________________________________________________________________

Sans snorted awake hearing the door open. He looked up seeing who came in.

He saw you hanging up your jacket and quickly as he could, got up and took long strides to you.

He wrapped his larger arms around your small body and held you close. You giggled "Hello there." He hides his skull in your shoulder and let out a muffled "Missed you."

You kiss his cheekbone "As did I sugar skull. Now guess what I got you?" He lifts his head and looked at your raised hand holding a Grillby's bag. His mouth watered "I love you so much" He mumbles out.

You laughed "I know now, let me get in my pj's and we can eat greasy food and watch tv." You wiggled out of his hold and set the bag on the coffee table before running upstairs.

He loved you so much. He couldn't be happier.

You came back downstairs wearing your fuzzy pj pants and a one of sans shirts. You flopped on the couch and patted the spot next to you. Sans sat next to you and grabbed the bag pulling out the food and handing your burger to you.

You switched the tv on and took a bite out of your burger.

"So." You swallowed your bite "What did you do while I was gone?"

Sans rubbed the back of his neck "Well uh, watched some videos."

"Oh? what kind of videos?"

San's cheekbone turned a dark blue "uh.."

"Did you watch naughty videos?"

Sans choked "What?! No!"

You laughed "I joking!" He glares at you still blushing.

"I was watching the videos you send me." He says taking a bite of his burger.

"The memory videos?" You asked. He nods. "Awww!"

Sans blushes and looks away.

"I'm glad you like this sweetie."

"They help." He mumbles.

You smiled and kissed his cheekbone "I'm glad they do. I'll keep making more for you."

He smiles "Thank you."

You guys go back to eating and watching tv.

"Maybe I can make so naughty ones for you."

Sans chokes on his food.

#undertale #horrortale #sans #sans x reader #undertale x reader #horrortale x reader #horrortale sans x reader #fanfic

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derangedroyalfae · 3 years

Text

Sunday, April 18, 2021 - 10:00pm

{mostly taken from a conversation with my best friend, Jem - there were some bits that I thought were worded well}

Royal (2:26 PM): Sometimes I think about taking antidepressants again if only to numb the pain. And then I remember how it made me too numb and to everything, so then I think about drinking or doing edibles, but then it still sounds awful and could possibly amplify those feelings (as alcohol usually does make me feel more upset). And that’s sometimes why self-harm becomes a substitute, because it ether distracts from those feelings or even makes you feel like your receiving punishment for whatever you’re upset about. But I know self-harm turns into a loop of guilt and shame and worrying about worrying others.

Jem (2:27 PM): I haven't heard the same about edibles that I hear about alcohol

Or marijuana in general I suppose

Royal (2:28 PM): Weed scares me. Like I’m worried I’ll have a reaction because whenever people smoke or cook it around me, I get super sick feeling. I also know Kitty had a bad reaction to edibles, like gave her ultra anxiety and hallucinations or something like that.

Jem (2:29 PM): Ah, gotcha I myself am allergic so I can't say I've tried it myself either

Royal (2:29 PM): I think I might be allergic and I don’t wanna find out the hard way

When people smoke/cook it around me, I get nauseous and a headache

Jem (2:32 PM): Yeah, I used to have two roommates that both smoked weed in our tiny apartment I used to have near constant headache until I moved out the next year

Royal (2:33 PM): I wish I could just remove those negative feelings I have: anger, sadness, jealousy, dysphoria, etc Put them somewhere far away so I wouldn’t have to deal with them, and wouldn’t have to hurt others because of them

(I tend to use dysphoria for myself as an in general term, not just with gender dysphoria, btw)

Jem (2:34 PM): Aah, yeah, I get you

Royal (2:38 PM): But even though I’m scared I’ll have a bad reaction, I’m mighty tempted to ask Hummingbird if I can try one of her edible gummies rn...

Jem (2:41 PM): I wonder if there's a way to try it in a safe/monitored way

Royal (2:41 PM): Well, if I do just one gummy

With their supervision

So if I have a bad reaction, they can watch over me or drive me to the urgent care

I love how it’s called urgent care but usually has like an hour or longer wait

Jem (2:43 PM): Ah yeah, that'd be the best way to do it Keep the phone handy too

Royal (2:45 PM): Hey, at the very least, doesn’t look like it has any interactions with my cholesterol medication

Jem (2:46 PM): That's good to know

Royal (2:50 PM): I don’t think I’ll actually follow through with it or anything, just my mind thinking of solutions

I’m feeling calmer now anyway

For now

{And then proceeded to draw this (it’s an idea I’ve had this idea for a long time now, especially since the first time I experienced extreme jealousy with Capy, but never had the courage to follow through since I’ve never done inking and rarely traditional colour, but I finally worked up the motivation to try, and honestly, it’s perfect timing as it was therapeutic to draw)}:

Royal (8:09 PM): Random question, I’m curious your thoughts on this: do you think it’s insensitive to joke about getting with other people when you’re in a relationship, especially/at least in front of your partner (at least if the two of you haven’t established a non-monogamous relationship), and even more so if you know your partner is dealing with jealousy issues?

Jem (8:12 PM): I’d think so, yeah

It's definitely odd

Unless it's like, I donno, a celebrity or something

But even then, it'd make me wonder why someone would say that if they knew already their partner was having issues

Royal (8:12 PM): Like someone they know/knew or met in the past, but 100% out of the picture now

So it’s def not a celeb

Jem (8:14 PM): Yeah then even without the jealousy issues, unless that's some sort of pre-established shared humor, it's kinda weird

Royal (8:15 PM): K, I was curious what you’d think

I agree with that too, it just feels really insensitive, at least if you’re monogamous

{Whilst I never told Jem what it was about, it has to do with something similar that had happened earlier today - though I am not technically in a monogamous relationship, so the above can’t fully apply to me. But to explain this better, I’ll have to jump back to something that happened in December 2020.

Capybara had told me about how there was this really attractive lecturer he met in the past whom if I remember correctly, spoke Greek, so his friend got him a Greek dictionary to help him try to impress her, but he never really ran into her again. I had made a comment that you know, guess it worked out for the better because then we would have never become a thing should he have actually succeeded in getting with her. And he made a joke that wasn’t the case or a joke that brushed off what I said as almost nothing. I knew he was joking, but it was kinda a really emotional time for everyone and I’m still even to this day working through my newfound romantic/sexual jealousy issues, so I took it kinda harsh at first and then eventually told him that same night how that kinda made me feel shitty.

Well, today, we were gaming with one of his friends (super great, hardworking, and nice lad) that we often play Sea of Thieves with and it turns out that was the same friend who got him the Greek dictionary, so it somehow got brought up in conversation…and just…they were joking that Capybara was Odysseus and this other woman was Odysseus’s wife and they’d find each other again one day. I can’t remember which character they assigned the friend but they were saying I could be one of the gods, and I’ll be honest, didn’t handle that situation the best, so I made a off hand comment of something like, “Guess I can be Athena or Aphrodite since they’re the jealous types, guess that works pretty well.” Don’t know if they picked up the hint. I don’t know if they were at all thinking about how this was something awkward for me, cuz I’m pretty sure the friend is aware that I’m dating Capy and is supposed to assume we’re monogamous as Capybara doesn’t really feel comfortable letting his friends or family know I have other partners. It just also happened to be a sore topic for me, cuz when Capy made that joke, even though I knew it was nothing more than a joke, it made me feel like nothing and replaceable, which I already see myself as.

Just to kinda let Capybara know that I’d prefer the topic to be dropped, I messaged him privately: “So I just remembered, it was you talking about that Greek dictionary thing to impress that girl and making a joke that like, meeting me wasn’t for the better cuz she’s still out there that kinda made me feel like shit even though it was a joke”

To which he responded with: “she's a lecturer my dude 😂 she's like in her 40's - don't worry”

And I replied with: “No I know, but it was more of the joke that followed that rubbed me wrong. At the time”

And he just sent these two emoji’s in response: 😧 😕

Immediately after our messages, as we had still been playing, he went dead silent and so I noticed this (not sure if the friend did at first) and I at first just tried to silently apologize in DM, cuz I hadn’t meant to upset him, but he still remained silent. So shortly after, I asked if we should call it quits even though it was early. I felt so guilty and I immediately sent him more apology messages and even an apology voice memo, but I assumed he turned his phone off by that point.

Once again, my jealousy got the best of me and I hurt the person I love most in the world and made a fun time involving friends go awkward. I was having a good early afternoon/late morning with him at first, and then I ruined it because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and my jealousy under control. I’m such an asshole.}

Royal (8:22 PM): Off topic, but still on the issue of jealousy, I feel like when I have jealousy issues myself at the point I’m at, it’s like a double headed snake due to me being in a polyamorous relationship - one head are just the pre-established toxic/venomous things that come with jealousy and the other head is the guilt and shame of feeling I have no right to be jealous when I have two other partners myself thus making me feel hypocritical (and being ignorant of any potential jealousy from other partners)

It feels like those two snake heads could eat me alive with just a few bites each if I let them in

It’s such a viscous cycle and honestly, the basic head of jealousy is enough of a problem that turns my stomach, but the second head just makes me want to surrender to the earth

Jem (8:28 PM): I get you It's a lot

Emotions are hard

Royal (8:28 PM): Especially when they revolve around something or someone you already have such an emotional attachment with

And then those feelings, like feelings of jealousy, only end up making you hurt the ones you love

Making them feel guilty or annoyed or like you don’t trust them or something

Jem (8:31 PM): Tbh, as someone who generally struggles with a lot of jealousy type issues, I get that (not necessarily romantic jealousy even, but just there's undercurrents of it that are always there and present in every relationship)

I don't think it's something that can ever be fully dealt with and just I guess has to be accepted and worked around At least for me

Royal (8:33 PM): And it makes you wonder if you truly care for those if you’re so easily jealous of them, since they tell you that shouldn’t feel that way if you really love someone, that you should be able to love them blindly and trust them, and it’s not like I don’t trust, but I feel so easily discardable by those who I could never even fathom of turning my back on

Royal (8:34 PM): Honestly, I’ve even felt some jealousy toward you in the past - not romantically - but it was something I worked on

Jem (8:34 PM): What if I were to say same though haha

Royal (8:34 PM): You seemed to be doing so well with you VN and you picked up art so fast

Jem (8:35): Aah for me it's always revolving around

My need for attention tbh

Royal (8:35 PM): But I told myself, “you just need to keep trying. Feeling negatively toward someone success is selfish and gets you nowhere. Improve yourself and you can also feel that success. He’s not succeeding to hurt you in anyway - you should be happy for him.”

Or like, probably not those exact words, but ya know, that idea

Royal (8:36 PM): Yeah, I understand that too, especially growing up in a family of 6

That kinda happened the other day with Kitty (whom at this point my feelings are pretty platonic) - for over a week now I’ve been telling the girls about a game (For the King) I’ve been interested in playing with them, and the other day, Hummingbird went on a social distancing date with Crystal, so I asked Kitty if she’d like to play with me since it’d be just the two of us and she agreed. However, she had a headache, so we thought it’d be best if she napped first and if she felt better later on then we could play. When she woke up, Lapis hit her up for some gaming and Kitty decided to game with her instead and forgot she agreed to game with me...

Jem (8:41 PM): Ah, that kinda thing really sticks with me

Royal (8:41 PM): And so I’m just getting to a point where I feel like I should just stop asking them if they wanna game with me, because it’s not the first time something like this has happened (at least they don’t follow through, not a matter of them deciding to do something with someone else)

Like, I made the Murder Beans server so Capybara and Kitty (and Hummingbird if she ever decided to get Among Us) could game with my friends in the CSR Creations server, and that was back in fall...the girls never joined a game even when showing express interest and saying they would

Kitty also once went and bought Lapis like the whole Halo Master Chief Collection for Lapis cuz she was broke and wanted it, and the proceeded to play it with her and Hummingbird...and like...I also would have liked to have played Halo with them if given the opportunity, but I was never asked

Sheezus, don’t even get me started in my family and how invisible they made me feel

But yeah, I’m at a point with the girls that I don’t think it’s even worth bothering to ask anymore, at least about gaming

Hummingbird’s confusion and migraines are also coming back, so she has a legit medical excuse and I can’t really bother her about it

Jem (8:48 PM): I get you, yeah

All of those things would really bother me too They have in the past

I remember when I first joined UCSD, I started hanging out often with the girls that lived around me in the dorms And we all started watching Orphan Black together

And then I literally had no idea when they finished the show because after the first couple sessions they forgot to invite me

Royal (8:51 PM): Oof, yeah, that’d bother me too, or at least tell me how they felt about me in my mind

I don’t think with my jealousy, it’s a matter of not trusting my partner or friends or whomever, it’s just a matter of feeling such low self-worth that I feel easy to discard, and when I get brushed to the side or have someone joking along the lines as how dating me wasn’t for the better when someone else is out there, it furthers those feelings I have about myself, those feelings of self-worth and how I’m replaceable or not worth shit

Jem (8:54 PM): I get you I know mine stems from feeling forgettable

Royal (8:54 PM): I know I’m an annoying person, I know I can be a lot and emotionally draining, I know I can be hypersensitive - so I know it feels like it’d be better to be rid of that sort of force if you can find someone better who doesn’t make you feel the way I’d do

(In response to feeling forgettable) Yeah

If you remove the fun hair, piercings, and tattoo, I’m actually quite a boring person

And I’m quite isolated. If you don’t include my partners, there’s only really two people who come to mind that I’d consider close friends that I can talk to: you and someone else (you’ve never met her)

I’m getting to a point where I have a hard time talking to the girls due to the guilt I feel about me more or less wanting to be platonic with them, and then Hummingbird is constantly having a medical crisis and I’d feel bad burdening her further

So really, I’m isolated down to two people, primarily you, + Capybara, and yeah, that’s my own fault

I feel easily exhausted by my other options at this point, where I feel like I can only take Candy in small doses (which feels really hypocritical of me) and my other VA friends or gaming friends, I don’t know if I’m close enough to have those kinds of conversations with, especially the VA friends since I tend to be their boss

For the most part, the other people I’d sometimes talk about these issues with are on servers that are primarily dead, so it feels awkward to hop back in only to bitch about my life

Besides, I hate seeming like I’m only spewing forth toxicity and negative emotions over and over again

Which I worry I do too much with you as is

#mood journal #mood #depression #jealousy #envy #guilt #shame #polyamory #nonmonogamy #non monogamy #monogamy #love

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makeste · 5 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 246: Plot Whiplash

Previously on BnHA: Hawks handed Endeavor a copy of Re-Destro’s NYT bestseller and was all “ಠ_ಠ READ THIS!!” He then flew off back to the PLF and was all “hey guys just got back from handing out free copies of Destro’s book to everyone in a 1000-mile radius, which absolutely nobody asked me to do, well anyways you can thank me later” and they were all “SWEET.” Back at the Endeavor HQ, Bakugou got all fired up to BUST SOME HEADS but Endeavor’s sidekicks were all “WAIT FOR THE PLOT YOUNG MAN.” Meanwhile in his office, Endeavor discovered a secret code in the book Hawks gave him, which basically read “HEY WHAT’S UP THE LEAGUE HAS TAKEN OVER THE MLA AND HAS AN ARMY OF 100,000 PEOPLE” and Endeavor was like “!!!!” And then we cut to the League and Toga was all “IN FOUR MONTHS TOMURA IS BLOWING THIS SHIT TO KINGDOM COME” and then the chapter just ended. Sometimes it be like that.

Today on BnHA: Tomura sits down with Ujiko who monologues a bit about Quirk Singularity and then starts some sort of quirk-upgrading process which will apparently take four months to fully set in. And also he’s like “oh btw let me tell you about One for All” so THAT’S A THING NOW, GREAT. We then cut back and forth between Endeavor and Hawks, who both somehow come to the weird conclusion that THE INTERNS ARE OUR ONLY HOPE NOW using logic that is hard to explain on account of THERE ACTUALLY ISN’T ANY LOGIC BEHIND IT, SHHH. But anyway, so Endeavor figures out the rest of Hawks’s message and he knows that Hawks is trying to figure out what the League is up to, and something something that’s why the internships are so important. Like, I get that the Terrible Trio are future legends in the making, but these guys are seriously like “well okay let’s just go ahead and rest all our hopes on them” out of the blue, and Hawks has this big monologue about how “THINGS WON’T GO ACCORDING TO YOUR PLAN, VILLAINS” and okay then!! And then the last two pages are basically just DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME HYPE with more shit going on than I can possibly sum up so I won’t even try lol. But damn.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.)

okay guys, I’m feeling kinda under the weather today, but I know this chapter’s gonna be good so lesssssss gooooooo. bring me back to life Horikoshi

(ETA: lol well there sure was a lot happening in this chapter, that’s for sure. my head hurts.)

oooooh it’s a sexy Jump cover celebrating season 4!

I really need the anime team to step up and give Ochako and Tsuyu some more screentime in the Basement Arc since the manga did not do them justice. there’s only like a 20% chance of that happening, which is depressing, but it’s 2019 and the winds are slowly changing, albeit at a geriatric pace. so I’ll allow myself to have some hope. you never know

YEAH SON LOOK AT THIS COLOR SPREAD Y’ALL THIS IS RAD

hello I love everything about this. the colors, the focus on our best girls, Deku’s bizarre-yet-awesome assorted sci-fi accessories (Deku do those headphones let you communicate with space or what), and of course, the five million TVs in the background which for some reason all appear to be from the 70s. all of this to remind us to TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE LONG-AWAITED SEASON 4 DEBUT. I will definitely tune in! the first episode is just gonna be the usual half filler/half clip show, but honestly season 3 was so good that I could sit through a whole hour of nothing but highlights and still be thoroughly entertained

anyway let’s move on because there are GAMES AFOOT, and we’re hopefully about to learn which direction this arc will be headed in!

OH SHIT OH FUCK

yep, that’s him. Shigaraki “destruction incarnate” Tomura. I see we’re getting our weekly dose of “just a reminder that WE ARE SCREWED” even earlier than usual this chapter, huh

so does anyone else get a chill up their spine every time Ujiko makes an appearance, or is that just me? like, god. he may honestly be even creepier than AFO. he’s just completely soulless, this guy. he’s got like this Mengele vibe to him (though that may be kinda dicey to compare horrific real-life atrocities to fictional ones in a shounen manga, but I’m just trying to explain why I find him so disturbing) and it really freaks me the hell out, ngl. anyways so him wearing a surgical mask and standing in front of this weird examination chair is pretty much the last thing I need right now. go away Ujiko

so Tomura is all “I want it cuz you promised, so pay up jackass”, and like. fair, though

I really like this new art style Horikoshi’s been using for him since his Awakening. kinda curious how it’s going to translate to the anime, or even to a color spread. but at the very least in black and white it looks siiiiick

smh look at this little punk trying to downplay how insanely freaking overpowered his quirk currently is

okay first of all, “President Baldy” is only alive because you left him alive. and he also had to chop off his own legs to stay that way. like, what kind of argument is this, Tomura? “this power is far from invincible, all my enemies have to do is amputate their own limbs and then they’ll have me right where they want me.” you know what, just go on and destroy the world right now kid. you’re getting greedy now and it could be your undoing

that is a nice parallel between him and Deku there, though. now I’m craving some Symbolic Artwork of them standing back to back each holding out their scarred right arms. maybe with their respective mentors in the background. here at BnHA we prefer our parallels nice and dramatic

sdskfjlaskdj

son of a bitch. I really wish he wouldn’t say that with such utter certainty. “the next conflict will be our last.” cue me flipping through the BnHA table of contents and trying to determine just how far along we actually are here, because this is veering dangerously close to Final Battle signaling, and like, ALREADY?? TOMURA ARE YOU JUST BEING THEATRICAL OR ARE YOU FOR REAL OMG. motherfucking DARK LORD’S LIPS curling into the WICKEDEST FUCKING CRESCENT I’VE EVER SEEN, fuck me

(ETA: it occurs to me on readthrough #2 that “the next conflict will be our last” could be interpreted to mean him and All Might specifically. like, the last conflict between the two of them. and that might very well be true, and would not surprise me at all. shit.)

fjsgk now Ujiko’s talking about research. and quirks!! glkjlkl

fully expecting the camera to cut to some NOUMUS any second now oh my god. also trying not to think about how crazy ominous that fucking chair looks. and how many people this maniac has probably strapped down to it and done god knows what to them. hey Horikoshi you know what, I’ve had just about enough of this dark shit, can we please cut back to my kids now I’m feeling too unsettled. goddammit

anyhow of course we are NOT cutting away, and Ujiko is continuing to talk about quirk evolution, and now segueing into a speech about that quirk singularity thing. -- which he apparently named?? wow

is he actually going to do something to Tomura? holy shit?? this whole time that they’ve been talking about this “power” I’ve just been assuming it was something external, like some other handy dandy villain resource that AFO’s just been sitting on or something. this is not where I expected things to go. didn’t he just get an upgrade??

anyway so here’s a brief summary I just wrote up of The Past Six Months of BnHA:

Deku: [gets a new quirk]

everyone: bruh. Horikoshi really out here giving Deku AFO Powers while Tomura just sits around starving to death on a couch. what the heck

Horikoshi: [powers up Tomura to the point where he can destroy anything just by it being in contact with something that Tomura happens to be touching] [has Tomura use this power to level an entire city]

everyone: -- oh. okay, you know what, never mind --

Horikoshi: [gives Tomura an army of 100,000 people] [also gives him command of 11 extremely lethal and nigh-unstoppable killing machines, just one of which was almost enough to take out the number one hero, LITERALLY THE STRONGEST GUY THE GOOD GUYS CURRENTLY HAVE IN RESERVE]

everyone: okay we’re sorry we get it you can sto --

Horikoshi: APOCALYPSE IN FOUR MONTHS!!!

everyone: WE GET IT WE’RE SORRY PLEASE

Horikoshi: [GIVES TOMURA ANOTHER POWER-UP]

everyone: [curled up in fetal position sobbing]

starting to think the mangaka might be the actual final villain here. hmm

anyway. so I guess we have four months until Tomura ascends to Actual Godhood and proceeds to rain hellfire down upon the world. what are you all gonna do with your four months. I personally have a lot of stuff to binge, but knowing me I’ll probably just waste all my time reading fanfic while youtube videos play in the background which I’m not paying any attention to. what am I doing with my life

oh were we not done hyping him up? there’s more??

(ETA: I got so caught up in the OFA comment I didn’t pay attention to Tomura becoming a beautiful decayed butterfly in this exquisitely creepy panel here. but damn.)

-- HOLD THE FUCK UP. does Tomura know about One for All??? because I was under the impression that AFO hadn’t told him? this would change a lot if he knew this entire time, holy shit?!

aaaaaaaaand exactly one panel later Horikoshi is all “no he didn’t know calm the fuck down” lol

okay then. so he didn’t know, and he’s only just finding out now. well tbh that’s still worthy of a smiling crying emoji face though :’) this is fineeee

shit here we go oh shit

-- WAIT, SO WE’RE JUST CUTTING AWAY FROM THEM? NOW YOU CUT AWAY? YOU GET WITHIN INCHES OF CONFIRMING THE FUCKING ALL FOR ONE FOR ALL THEORY AND THEN IT’S JUST “ANYWAYS HERE’S ENDEAVOR” YOU KNOW WHAT, HORIKOSHI, I --

just. come on dude. AFOFA 2019! let’s make it happen! dammit

sigh, so looks like it’s back to the admittedly-still-epic “Hawks passes down secret information about the villains to Endeavor” plot. I guess we’re not exactly hurting for good plots all around. I may complain but honestly we are spoiled

so Hawks is saying that he actually doesn’t know the specifics of the villains’ plans yet. well shit

apparently his feathers can only pick up sounds from short range, and the villains keep escorting him away whenever they get to talking about the good stuff. well at least that explains that potential plot hole from last week. Hawks’s feathers may have a short range, but Horikoshi’s plot hole caulking gun can fill in leaky plot holes from fucking miles away. amazing

ffffffff

don’t mind me I’m just sitting here fretting about Hawks continuing to be in mortal danger and risking his life to gather information in a race against time against the end of the world. Horikoshi out here piling up stakes like a freaking vampire hunter

but in the meantime, everyone please stop what you’re doing for a moment to look at this absolute unit of a bellhop slash security guard

apologies Lord Vader he was just trying to get to the dining hall. my bad. as you were

and holy shit I hope you enjoyed that light comedic break because two seconds later Re-Destro has dropped in to fixate Hawks with one of those Lightly Menacing Smiles he’s so infamous for. so that’s just fucking great!

HAWKS WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FINGERS

omg. imagine, a showdown between the two stealth murder MVPs of the series, Yotsubashi “Sleeper Hold” Rikiya (yes I did have to look up his real name just now) and Takami “Tag Em And Bag Em” Keigo. true, RD may no longer have legs, but he didn’t need them to choke out our little mouse buddy now did he? anyways speaking of which I just remembered that I fucking hate Re-Destro and I honestly hope Hawks does kill him. it’d be pretty easy to fit him into a bag too. he’s basically just a torso and arms now

oh sure Horikoshi go ahead and spring this on me after all of that ranting why don’t you

by the way does Re-Destro have Robot Legs now, or

looool he does

I will say this for Horikoshi, he knows my weaknesses. more robot limbs please. either badass or memeable ones, either is fine

meanwhile I skipped over this panel of Hawks and Twice being buddies in order to get to the legs, and shame on me for that. let’s go back

Twice is a genuinely good guy and I hope Hawks can tell. I wonder how fake this smile is. I feel like it’d be easy to relax around Twice regardless of how tense you are about your secret spy mission which could go south at any time. anyways this is wholesome

and now we’re cutting back to Endeavor who is taking his sweet time reacting to this whole thing. Endeavor can you fucking chill with the poker face already geez

okay wait, what

are you serious?! I fucking can’t with this lady. “now make sure to throw these children directly into the line of fire! it’s good for them and builds character!” I’m sorry, I thought this was the Hero Public Safety Commission, not the Putting Juveniles Directly Into Harm’s Way Commission?? at least change the acronym to something more appropriate then. Heinous Pathetic Soulless Cowards. just a suggestion. jesus

anyway so for a moment I got confused as to whether this was implying that she’d told Endeavor about Hawks’s undercover mission. but it seems like he’s still unaware. shouldn’t be too long before he puts the pieces together though at this rate

lol in the very next panel, even

meanwhile you’re just sitting on your ass reading a book! FUCKING DO SOMETHING ALREADY, ENDEAVOR

so he’s thinking that the “preparation” part of Hawks’s message is referring to the interns. let me back up a sec and write down the entire message as he’s read it thus far

“four months from now / rising to action / until then / will send / signals / in case / of failure / preparation / numbers”

...read like that, it really does sound like Hawks is advocating to get as many soldiers ready as possible. even if that includes actual children. including Endeavor’s own son. shit. I mean, I get that they don’t have much of a choice, but that’s still so fucked up. sure, we as omniscient readers know that Deku is their one and only hope, but they don’t know that. as far as they know these are just a bunch of teenagers with less than a year’s worth of experience that they’re propping up on the front lines. and the plan is then... what? hope they don’t die too quickly?? fuck

Hawks is out here having an argument with me in his thoughts. you wanna play it like that, Hawks? fine

I don’t know what kind of “but” you can tag on to the end of that paragraph that could possibly win me over, dude, but go for it I guess

and we’re finally cutting back to the kids in question now! with Burnin’ casually trying to crush Kacchan’s hopes and dreams

okay but I love how both Deku and Shouto are like “easy there buddy, we got you” and trying to keep Kacchan from having a fucking aneurysm sob. JUST TRY AND HOIST HIM ONTO SOME DUMB SIDEKICKS, LADY. YOU’VE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY HERE TODAY

oh shit

oh my god. are we going to get our first actual interaction between the three of them that doesn’t consist of them grumbling annoyed introductions at each other and then running off to fight an old fortune teller omggggg

I love how Deku and Bakugou look weirdly intimidated by him lol. Bakugou where did all that “YOU’RE KIND OF A JERK” confidence go all of a sudden

YESSSSSSS

GODDAMMIT, I’M STILL SO MAD AT YOU GUYS FOR BEING ALL “LET’S JUST MAKE THE CHILDREN DO IT,” BUT DAMMIT THEY KICK ASS THOUGH SO I CAN KINDA SEE YOUR POINT

NOW HAWKS IS METAING ABOUT THEM AHHHHHHH

DAMN STRAIGHT THEY WOULD HAVE. BRING ON TOMURA AND ALL OF HIS STUPID POWER-UPS. WOW I’M WEIRDLY HYPED UP ALL OF A SUDDEN WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME

AND FUCKING LOOK AT THIS TWO-PAGE SPREAD AHHHHHHHHHHH

MOTHERFUCKER [WHIPS OUT PEN AND NOTEBOOK] TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BITCH

so Ochako and Tsuyu did indeed go back to intern with Ryuukyuu again! makes sense, she is a top ten hero after all. who’s that with them, though? almost looks like Yanagi from the hair and the mask, but the costume looks different? hmm

I CAN’T BELIEVE IIDA WENT BACK TO INTERN WITH FUCKING MANUAL AGAIN. THIS GUY IS THE BRAN CEREAL OF HEROES. though I fucking love him though so yeah it’s fine

JIROU AND SHOUJI TEAMING UP WITH GANG FUCKING ORCA AW YISS BOYS THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT LET’S GOOOO

KOUDA AND MANGA TEAMING UP WITH WASH OMG. MANGA IS THE ONLY ONE ON THAT TEAM WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING SPEAKS. IS WASH’S SIDEKICK SOME SORT OF BROOM PERSON OMG

A WHOLE FUCKING ACRE OF KIDS HAVE ALL GANGED UP ON THIS CAVEMAN-LOOKING FELLA I DON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE. WHO ARE YOU. DID YOU CROSS OVER FROM THE FANTASY AU

KIRI BACK WITH FG AND BROUGHT TETSUTETSU ALONG FOR THE RIDE HELLS YEAHHHH

KAMINARI AND SERO WITH KAMUI WOODS AND EDGESHOT I’M HYPERVENTILATING AHHH. AND SHIOZAKI TOO!! I’LL JUST PRETEND I DON’T SEE MINETA THERE IN THE CORNER. MIGHT BE TIME TO DUST OFF THE OLD “CANCELLED” STAMP AGAIN BUT WE’LL SEE HOW THINGS GO

WHO ARE MOMO AND TOKAGE AND MINA AND AOYAMA (WHICH BTW IS THE GREATEST HERO TEAMUP OF ALL TIME HOLY SHIT) TEAMING UP WITH!? TELL US. AND PONY AND MONOMA. GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI

whew! anyway. they’re all still screwed, but by golly that was nice to have that little invigorating breather of life and hope

LOL OH SHIT THERE’S ANOTHER ONE

okay, SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WHAT ALL MIGHT IS LOOKING AT OR I’M GONNA LOSE IT. holy shit. he was researching the past users of OFA, wasn’t he? WHAT DID YOU FIND OH GOD. he’s not just upset, he looks one step shy of fucking crying?? did he learn about what happened to Nana’s son and his family, maybe? shit shit shit

so Yanagi is interning with Kendou then? so who was that with Hadou and Ryuukyuu and the rest. one of Ryuukyuu’s sidekicks?

IS THAT FUYUMI (SPOILERS FUCKING YEAH IT IS) AND WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE’S FUCKING PRAYING OMG. it looks like she’s kneeling at a family altar?? like saying a prayer for someone who is PRESUMED DEAD, maybe?? LIKE MAYBE A LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER OH SHIT OUT OF NOWHERE THE HYPE DON’T STOP!!

AND WHY DOES NAO HAVE HIS HAT OFF AND CLUTCHED TO HIS CHEST LIKE HE’S TELLING SOMEONE BAD NEWS. GOD WHAT THE HELL EVEN ARE ALL OF THESE PLOT THINGS HAPPENING ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK NEXT

KUROGIRI AHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ERI’S HORN!? DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS?? AIZAWA??? HELLO!?!?

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, TEAM OT3. TIME TO FUCKING SUIT UP. APPARENTLY. WELL ALL RIGHT THEN. [JACKET ZIP] [GUN COCKING SOUND EFFECT] LET’S GO PUNCH ‘EM IN THE MOUTH

y’all. this chapter was like plot whiplash. this went in so many different directions and hinted at so many different things that I’m at a complete fucking loss as to what to process first. but I guess the interns are gonna save us all, somehow. lol okay then

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 246 #shigaraki tomura #hawks #endeavor #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #horikoshi: [makes tomura sexy]#everyone: okay that part is fine I guess #horikoshi: [tells tomura about one for all]#me: :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') welp

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icarialex · 4 years

Text

📱 Via Discord

Text Messages: Noelle & Chloe @chloevara

When: The night before their auction date

Topics: Just cuteness and Chloe talking about some changes she’d want between them for balance.

Chloe: Hey! It's me. Chloe. Unless you know another Chloe. How is my named saved in your phone, anyway? These are important questions!!

Noelle: You are so friendly and peppy even through text message. It’s impressive. I actually changed your name in my phone while I was in the hospital. Is the suspense of knowing to what eating away at you?

Chloe: 😦 😦 😦 😦 Impressive could mean something negative too. YES, the suspense is 100% eating away at me. Did you spell my name wrong at first?? There's no K anywhere in my name

Noelle: You should assume that I’m not saying something negative about you from here on out. If I point it out, I usually think it’s so you that it’s cute. That was an unnerving discovery for me. Who spells it with a k? No, I changed it from Chloe Vara to Chlo.

Chloe: As long as you like that you think I'm cute, right? ...Mostly the Kardashian lady spells it with a K. But I don't. Oh, so now we're in the nickname phase? I could change your phone name but maybe not to what you'd expect.

Noelle: I do like that I find you cute. It was just an adjustment for me to feel that way for someone else for so long. Usually it wears off after a week or two. That family is odd. I don’t get why they make so much money. I suppose? Your first and last name sounded too — distant. Oh? To what then?

Chloe: Now I'm really hoping that doesn't wear off, because I really do like you. Oh! I don't watch that show either. My dad says it's too real and fake at the same time. On second thought, maybe I'm not going to tell you what I changed it to?

Noelle: You like saying how much you like me now since seeing how I didn’t freak out about it at the hospital, don’t you? But since I like you too, I think it’s safe to say I’ll keep finding you cute. Thank God. If you tried to make me watch that, I’d have to hide. Wow, you’re rude. I told you when you asked. 😒😔

Chloe: Yes! It's so freeing to be able to tell you that you're great, and sweet, and careful, and, that I like all of that. :3 Fiiiine. You're Elle 🐘 . Emoji included! I was thinking of Elle-phant but that would make me laugh every time I opened the phone, so I didn't.

Noelle: I’m glad that it makes you happy. I’m not great at accepting praise or compliments, but I’ll work on it. I approve of that. The emoji is also adorable. You know, you’ll probably still say Elle-phant in your head and laugh right?

Chloe: Not enough people told you how great you are, clearly!! ...And yes. How did you know that was going to happen? You're the one who gave me nickname permission, after all.

Noelle: Clearly. If you ever get to meet my parents, you’ll get a full picture of that. I guess I’m starting to learn enough about you to figure out some things you’ll do. I did I did. Btw, how did it feel to have Noelle and Noel fighting for you at an auction?

Chloe: I'm still cross with your parents. Oh nooooo. Am I too predictable? Should i mix it up? Agh. It was a little confusing, but I just thought you forgot how to spell your name :/

Noelle: You don’t have to worry about them. I doubt they’d step foot on this island. You’d only meet them if you wanted to go to Hawaii. I mean, you could, but didn’t you want us to get closer so we knew more about each other? That would just be confusing. Nope, I was trying to make things easier for you. I never thought you’d bid on me though.

Chloe: I don't really want to go to Hawaii for a lot of reasons. I didn't want to see you have to date someone else. And it meant that you have to go on a date with me, which I wanted so much. Which is the first thing on my list of proposals. I want to be able to go outside with you sometimes and have it be a together activity.

Noelle: What are those reasons? Now I’m curious. I didn’t want to date anyone else, and I wouldn’t have. I would have gone for coffee or something. That’s simple enough. I am okay with that. Are you okay with part of our first date not being out and about? I just didn’t want to do dinner at a restaurant. It’s too cliche for a first, real date date. Plus, you’re kind of the first, official one for me.

Chloe: Colonialism, your family, I don't leave Icaria if I can help it. I don't mind it not being out and about always. But sometimes I want to show you off a little. Get a change of pace is most of it! You're going to do amazingly, I promise. It means a lot to me

Noelle: Those are all good reasons. I love Hawaii because it was home, but I never actually stay at my house. Show me off a little, huh? I can’t say I blame you. 😉 Plus, I would like the chance to brag about you too. Alright, dates outside of the house together is something I’m very comfortable with. It — it means something to me too.

Chloe: I'm not averse to going, but it isn't on my list of vacation spots. And yes! You're quite a catch. I do like a quiet night in more overall, but I don't want that to be the only option. Plus you can probably only handle me trying to cuddle you so many times

Noelle: I’ll make sure to send you lots of pictures next time I go then or video call you. I stay on an animal sanctuary when I visit, so I can send you cute animals too. I am not. I’m very difficult to be with. Try to cuddle me? I think you succeed, Chlo.

Chloe: That sounds so nice... You have the coolest job, you know? Maybe, but I'm not very good at stopping what I'm doing because it seems difficult. Like cuddling, apparently. It's nice, okay??

Noelle: Yeah, I’m a big fan of it too. Playing with animals all day is the best part of my job. I’m glad that you aren’t that good at giving up on things. I mean, it may take time, but depending on your patience this could end up being worth it. Hey, I’ve complained less about it lately, haven’t I? I don’t even tense up when you do it anymore.

Chloe: Oh, it's not dealing with the animals' parents?? Yeah 🙂 But let me know if you ever just... don't want me to touch you or anything. I don't want you to be anxious just because I think you're super snuggly.

Noelle: Well, flirting with parents of the animals was my go to activity when I wanted something easily accessible, but I’m not really looking right now which I remember thoroughly surprised you. Oh, you wouldn’t make me anxious. I’m just not used to being touched, but it can have it’s benefits. Kissing is one I think very highly of.

Chloe: I was wondering how you met folks... But yeah. It really did surprise me. I like the kissing. And being close in general. I think I like almost everything. Did you want me to run more of the suggestions I had in mind by you now or on the date, by the way?

Noelle: Either through the hospital or just around. I mean, I found you didn’t I? That’s good to keep in mind even though I think I picked up on that. Which would be more comfortable for you? Do you like being able to read things before you send or seeing my facial expressions?

Chloe: But I talk to everybody... Anyway, there are some things I would like to say in person but other stuff? I know I want to tell you one part in person, but otherwise, I'm all for good communication.

Chloe: Like I want to hold your hand sometimes. Not a lot. Just sometimes.

Chloe: To be able to tell my dad about you, and maybe work our way up to having you meet him. I think he'd like you a lot

Noelle: Okay, so I’ll wait until our date to hear that part. You just tell me when you’re ready.

Noelle: Holding hands? Okay I can do that. I mean, that’s simple enough. Will you get upset if it takes me a bit to initiate that? It’s just not something that usually crosses my mind, and that’s not because I don’t like you. It’s just new.

Noelle: Your dad is very important to you. You think — you want to tell him about me? I mean, you’re more than welcome to. As for meeting him, eventually, would this be virtually or in person?

Chloe: I appreciate that! I'm sorry to keep you in so much suspense. I don't expect you to initiate it if you don't want to. I just.... really want to sometimes and I was afraid to tell you.

Chloe: Yes? Eventually virtually. He just got a new phone, so he's probably too distracted by that anyway. Trust me, he's one of the easiest dads to meet ever. He hasn't liked all of my exes, but I never knew until afterward...

Chloe: THAT WAS THE WRONG THING TO SAY

Noelle: It’s okay. I mean, this is new territory for me. I’ve never gotten to a point where I’ve wanted to compromise with someone or cared so much about them being happy. It’s not that I’m selfish so much as I didn’t think I was the person that could be the one to make someone happy, If that makes sense?

Noelle: I’m sorry you were afraid to tell me, and thank you for telling me now. Reach for my hand when you want. Now that I know you will, I won’t pull back or anything out of surprise.

Noelle: Comforting, Chlo. 😉 If this will make you happy, then okay no problem. How are you going to introduce me though? Or is that what we’re waiting for the date to discuss?

Chloe: I don't relate to it, but I am making an effort to understand it. At this point, we really aren't on different pages. I think you would make me happy once we get everything to make a bit more sense. I know that I'm touchy. Like abnormally touchy. Being close as much as possible is the best????

Chloe: It would be fine to hold off on meeting him for a while, so we don't have to talk about that right now. I haven't talked to anybody about you, though, and it's kind of killing me.

Noelle: I guess that’s where you’ve surpassed my expectations of people. Instead of just writing me off as cold or unfeeling, you try to understand. So, I’m trying back. Okay touching. I can initiate kisses when I think you’re cute. I just didn’t know how you felt about PDA.

Noelle: Why haven’t you told anyone? That’s not fair. My brother knows about you. Well, Noah. Oh, yeah I have another one. But yes, and I’m sure more know after the auction or suspect.

Chloe: I love PDA. Hold my hand, kiss my cheek, use me as an armrest. Whatever you want besides pinching is probably great in my book.

Chloe: Because I don't really enjoy talking about how I really like someone who I thought just saw me as a booty call. But then I couldn't talk about what bothered me. Also everyone was busy with parents week or really stressed about the minotaur, so I didn't want to burden them

Noelle: Who in the world would pinch you to show affection? Really has this happened to you?

Noelle: To be honest, you started out as a booty call. Well, you can talk about me to people if you want to. I’m a part of your life, and I don’t like policing what you do. I want you to be you, and I’ll be me.

Chloe: I have really, really, really, really bad luck when it comes to relationships. Even the good ones had something weird or wrong. I didn't think you were a booty call at first.

Chloe: You were really pretty, and interesting, and you didn't tell me to go away or anything, and I thought you wanted the same things I did. It's embarrassing.

Chloe: I haven't talked about you, or that super messed up thing with my neighbor that I'm trying to avoid, and it's like I'm about to explode.

Chloe: But I'd like for you to be a part of my life. Very much. I look forward to what you have planned.

Noelle: It’s not embarrassing. I mean, it’s working out pretty well for you now, right? You mesh with me better than I thought you would. You’re not high maintenance to be around, and you’re calm.

Noelle: By the way, you’re gorgeous. I don’t say it nearly enough, but you should know that.

Noelle: Well, talk as much as you want about this, okay? I’m private but not controlling. I only care about what I share or who asks me questions because I can be prickly. I think you’ll love it. Just tell me when, but give me like a day notice.

Chloe: I don't want to be anything but really self-sufficient. But emotionally needy. I'm going to be that.

Chloe: Thanks!!! It drives me a bit crazy how beautiful you are sometimes? Like I just think about it, and then I forget how to be a person.

Chloe: Okay. I really, really, really want us to talk more. Another list item. Could that day be tomorrow or the next day? I don't know if I can wait too much longer.

Noelle: Chlo, thanks for telling me stuff. I don’t make it easy, but at least I understand more now.

Noelle: You’re very silly. Do we need to take pictures together for you to stare at? Or will that just worsen the problem?

Noelle: That’s easy. Talking I can do. It can be tomorrow. That gives me enough time. I’ll be ready by 7 to pick you up.

Chloe: : )

Chloe: Uhm. We should take pictures. That would be really nice. I'd like that lots. Yes please

Chloe: 7... PM right? I'll be awake either way, but I do have to check.

Noelle: We can do that. I have my Polaroid too, so you can even get hard copies.

Noelle: Yes PM. I mean, I will be too, but that’s prepping time. So tomorrow, 7 PM. Dress cute but comfortable.

Chloe: You have a Polaroid???? Why didn't I know this?

Chloe: I can do the thing. Have a good night, okay Elle? I can't stress how much I'm looking forward to seeing you

Noelle: Um — I don’t know? I have scrapbooks too of all the places I’ve visited.

Noelle: You too, Chlo. Me too. Sweet dreams.

#noelle ft. Chloe #chloe

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ghostofvixx · 5 years

Text

Coffee dates |MKL|

When you get stood up but some random classmate is right there to see you embarrass yourself.

Requested by @sweetie-yoongi7: Hi can I request a mark lee imagine where you’re both at a restaurant and you’re there to meet a date but you get stood up and he notices and decides he’s not gonna let you be alone :3 and fluff :3

Words: 2.4k

Genre: fluff

Warning: op idk if this is what you were looking for but I looove writing about Mark and,,, things got carried away lmaoo. Let’s say that y/n gets stood up not once but twice to make it more interesting jsj

You take another sip of your coffee and look at your phone once again. What is taking him so long? Your drink is getting cold after waiting for an hour straight and you start to think that he’s actually not going to appear. He won’t pick up your phone calls and he’s not answering your messages either.

“Is he going to make me wait for much longer?” You think to yourself.

Then, it hits you. Of course that Xiao, the cutest, funniest, and nicest boy ever is standing you out, he’s not appearing right now, and he won’t appear. It is a shocking moment, and you don’t know what to do apart from calling your best friend to ask for a second opinion, even if you know her answer.

“How’s your date going?” She asks in a flirty voice.

“I’ve been waiting for him for at least an hour.” You explain, louder than what you were expecting. “Please, don’t tell me that Xiao has stood me up.”

Your look around. You weren’t expecting to speak as loud, but you can’t believe your one year crush isn’t going to appear to your date, you are so disappointed. The icing of the cake is when you realize that Mark Lee, a boy that is on Xiao’s group of friends, is looking at you discreetly from the counter.

“An hour?”

“An hour.”

“And he won’t appear?”

“He won’t.”

“What an asshole!” Your friend shouts.

“I can’t believe I’ve been waiting so long for this. I’ve been crushing on him for a whole year! What do I do now?” Your friend sighs.

“Leave it all to me. I’ll find you a date one of these days.” You don’t trust her, not even a bit, but at least she’s trying to help.

“Fine, I’ll leave it all to you, I’ll talk to you later okay?” You try not to sound sad, but your friend knows you way too well.

“I’ll go to your house with ice cream and stuff okay?” She asks in a sweet voice. “Let’s talk later y/n!”

You feel some people talking behind your back. It’s Mark and the bartender, who seems familiar to you too, so you decide to shut up, pick up your things and leave with the little dignity you have left. However, before you’re even able to grab your bag and your headphones, someone is sitting in front of you.

You raise your sight to find no other than Mark Lee. You can feel your cheeks burning, he must have heard everything, after all, he wasn’t far away from you.

“Can I help you?” You decide to take the initiative.

“I was just casually here since my friend works here and I happened to listen to your conversation.”

“Oh, great.” You feel like crying now, can you be more embarrassed? “Well now go ahead and tell Xiao, the situation can’t be worse, maybe he’s laughing at me right now.”

You know that you shouldn’t be telling this to Mark, he’s Xiao’s friend! You see that little smirk? He’s probably laughing at you too!

“That’s why I’ve decided to talk to you.” You look at him, angry but curious at the same time. What on earth do you have to do with Mark Lee? He’s your classmate, Xiao’s friend, that’s it. “Well he— I know he looks like a very outgoing and flirty person, but he actually has a lot of trouble when it comes to dates.”

“Oh really?” You don’t believe a single word.

“Yes! He’s not very good with girls, I’m surprised he even accepted I mean, have you seen him dating anyone at this point?” You then take a look mentally at Xiao’s historial with dates… None… Absolutely none, he hasn’t dated anyone since you know him. To Mark, you must look astonished and confused, because he immediately adds something else to break the silence. “I’m sorry you have to go through this, I’m not telling you to keep trying but it’s just that he’s going through a tough time. I’m really sorry, I’m sure he’s feeling sorry too.”

“Ah no I- I should have realized sooner.” You say, even if you don’t know how on earth you realize about something like that. “I guess I’ll really get going now, uhm, thank you for telling me?”

“Oh! No problem, I had to wash my friend’s name… I guess.” You turn around and leave the restaurant you were at, thinking how awkward your first encounter with Mark Lee, that shy cute boy in Xiao’s group, has been. Then, you hear your name being called.

“Let me invite you to a coffee.”

“Oh Mark that’s very nice of you but I have to get going and I don’t want to bother you.”

“Don’t worry Y/n, is fine. I was craving for coffee and I think you need a hot one too, the other one got cold, right? We can have it while I accompany you home? What do you think?”

You smile, finally not awkwardly, Mark is a very sweet boy, a walk and coffee with him won’t hurt you, right? Maybe he can tell you something else about Xiao on the way too.

“Okay, sounds cool.”

And that’s the reason why you end up with Mark’s phone number on your phone (“Just in case you need it sometime”) and the feeling of having met a nice person, classmate, and now friend at the end of such a horrible situation.

However, that doesn’t stop you from crying your heart out once you’re on your own, because even if Mark has given you a version of what happened, you know that Xiao’s just not interested in you, and you’ve spent a year and an intense week thinking how it would be to ask him out only for him to turn you down.

***

It would be an exaggeration to say that now Mark and you are the closest. Yes, you talk a lot sometimes, in that little walk to your house you’ve discovered that you have a lot in common thanks to his attempts to distract you from what happened weeks ago, so now overall music and college are your only topics, but it’s just that.

You still see him as a schoolmate, a very cute one though. You had never noticed Mark, maybe your crush on his friend was the one thing that had your mind occupied, maybe you just never paid attention to his not talkative personality. But now that you get to know him just a little you realize just how wrong you were.

Xiao’s Mark (1)

Yoo have you heard Drake’s hotline bling?

To: Xiao’s Mark

Mark,,, is 2019,,, u ok mate?

Xiao’s Mark (3)

Lmaoo I can’t have an excuse to talk to you now?

:((

Pls like me.

You laugh out loud, Mark is always joking about these things and maybe you do like the fact that someone is giving you that type of attention. It feels nice even though you know he’s not even interested.

Suddenly, a call from your friend distracts you from your previous conversation.

“Y/n, have you heard about Xiao lately?”

“Not really, why?” You fear your friend’s answer.

“Haechan has just told me he’s dating someone now, some of our classmates have seen them walking around holding hands. I felt it was my thing to tell you.”

You feel your heart stops and you begin to sweat. Xiao dating a girl? How? When? Wasn’t he horrible at dates and girls?

“Thank you.” You feel you’re losing your voice, and your first reaction when you hang up your friend’s call is to send Mark a message.

To: Xiao’s Mark

Wasn’t Xiao like awful with girls and dating?

Xiao’s Mark (5)

He was I promise!

I’m his friend but idk what has happened.

Suddenly he’s dating? Yesterday he couldn’t even talk to the cashier.

Suspicious.

How are you?

You blush when you realize that Mark is worried about you and making the situation seem pointless. He is making you feel at least a tiny little bit better.

To: Xiao’s Mark

I’m cool don’t worry.

You, in fact, feel a bit hurt, but you’re obviously not going to tell him. You haven’t completely moved on, but you’re sure that you didn’t like Xiao, you just had a crush on him, so holding onto the possibility of ever dating him was more exciting than the fact of dating him itself. Now that you know he definitely won’t date you or even talk to you to apologize about standing you up, there’s only disappointment left.

Xiao’s Mark (3)

Okay, we’re not friends and stuff but.

Xiao has been a bit weird lately and I don’t know what’s going on in his life.

If you ever want to talk about it here I am, I promise I won’t tell.

You reply a simple thank you with a smiling emoji. Even if you won’t tell Mark your deepest concerns, you know he always acts genuinely and with the purest intentions, so you may actually talk to him more, after all, he’s a nice guy, right?

He deserves to be known for Mark Lee, not Xiao’s Mark after all, so it’s time to erase Xiao’s name from another person’s name.

Your phone beeps one more time, you unlock it right away, thinking it may be Mark talking about another topic of his, but your smile fades when you see a very weird text from your best friend.

Loser💜 (2)

K I’m not leaving you like this.

Get ready one of these days I’ll make you go on a blind date, okay?

You roll your eyes, you don’t know what your friend is planning or what she thinks you’re going through, but she definitely doesn’t expect you to be fine since she wants you to take part in another crazy plan of hers and make you go on a blind date.

The truth is that you don’t really need it, you’ll never go on one of those dates.

***

A couple of months later, you find yourself sitting in the same restaurant you were supposed to meet Xiao that time. You’re looking at the clock in your mobile phone and tapping the table with your fingers as you wait impatiently.

However, this time is different, first because you’re not even a tiny little bit interested in the person you’re meeting -yes, you’ve ended up going to a blind date your friend organized you-, and second, because the person you have a deep crush in isn’t the one you’re meeting.

Morcus(2)

Have fun on your date!

I’m jealous, I should be there with you instead.

It really hurts you every time you read these types of messages, mainly because Mark has always been like that to you, flirty but always joking, but your feelings for him have changed. Oh, how they’ve changed.

To: Marcus

Dw boi, we can get some ice cream soon.

Marcus(1)

Soon as in when?

To: Marcus

Soon?

I’ll tell you later okay?

Marcus (3)

Okie!

I’ll look forward to it, you know it right?

I want to see you already.

You blush in a few seconds, just how you’ve been doing ever since you’ve realized your feelings for him.

Again, an hour goes by and you still don’t have news about the guy. You can already see your friend’s face when you tell her, but the first thing you do is calling Mark to finally spend some time with the one you want to spend some time with.

“Where are you?” You ask when he picks up.

“Why are you calling so soon?” He asks.

“I’ve been stood up, again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” But, unlike when it happened with Xiao, he didn’t seem to be sad about it at all. “Should we get ice cream first?”

“Of course!” You know you’ve sounded way too excited, but the thought of seeing Mark just makes you react like that. You really have a huge crush on that boy. “Where are you?” You ask again.

“Why don’t you turn around and find out?” Suddenly, his voice sounds much closer to you, and when you turn around he’s standing right there.

“What are you doing here?”

“Lucas works here.” You open your eyes wide and he laughs. “I’ve been watching you for like an hour, waiting for that ass to appear, but as he didn’t I’ve decided to show myself.”

“Oh.” How haven’t you realized? You hear your name being called behind the counter and you see Lucas waving excitedly. You wave back, ashamed, and hit Mark.

That’s why his face looked familiar all this time.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were here? I’m so ashamed!”

“I didn’t know you were here! And I didn’t want to react to save you right on time.“ Your heart skips a beat, as usual, at his honesty. He may be very awkward sometimes, and he’s also very careful with words, but with you, he’s never given a second thought to his pick up lines, did he really mean them? Were they genuine? Are you overthinking?

“You’ve saved me on time, again.”

“You’re welcome y/n.” Ah, how he makes you feel.

You walk around a bit, he’s trying to be super funny to distract you, but you don’t know what is he distracting you from, you’re not even a bit bothered by the fact you’ve been stood out again.

“If I had a crush on nice people this wouldn’t happen.” You comment when he brings up the topic by accident.

“Oh well I know a nice guy, one day I’ll introduce him to you.” It’s like a bucket of cold water. He really won’t take a hint right?

“Okay.” You mutter.

The conversation keeps going and you change the topic, but he won’t let go easily.

“You’ve said if you had a crush on nice people that wouldn’t have happened, right?” He asks out of the blue.

“Uhm, yes, why?”

“I’m nice.”

“And’“ Then it’s when it really hits you. “Hold up are you perhaps saying that I should date you?”

“It’s a suggestion, I mean, I’ll gladly do it.”

“Will you? What?” You’re shocked, to say the least.

“Of course, I’ve always only flirted with you.”

“That’s the way you flirt?”

“Why are you asking so many obvious questions?”

“Damn it Mark I’m shocked my crush likes me back, how do you want me to react?” His lips form a smile when he hears the word crush.

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s an I’d love to go with the person I like on a date without being stood up.”

“It’s an obvious yes, then.”

And you hold his hand. You’ve held it a lot of times before, but you feel like everything is different now.

#mark #mark lee #mark lee scenario #mark lee imagine #mark lee au #nct #nct mark #nct 127 #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 au #nct 127 imagine #nct u #nct u au #nct u imagine #nct u scenario #nct dream #nct dream scenario

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theexecutionerssong · 5 years

Text

I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb!

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥

#gaelle parle #im so damn overwhelmed by all this #every time i want to quit you're there being so kind and i don't know what to do with myself #nice people tag

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kaiunkaiku · 5 years

Text

Welp, I wrote a fic | Ao3

Summary: Bakugou has a shit morning. Kirishima is a ray of sunshine. Aizawa does his duty as the unofficial father figure of the class.

Warnings: Implied PTSD, mentioned vomiting and nightmares, dissociation, chronic pain, my dialogue writing, also chaotic students. Some talk of trauma and therapy, reference to Todoroki’s bullshit family life

Enjoy!

Morning classes are no one’s favorites, except for perhaps Iida’s, but Aizawa, for all his hatred for the concept of doing anything before noon, doesn’t remember encountering this kind of a situation while teaching his current class. Mornings are, of course, in general quieter than the rowdy afternoons when the kids are fully awake, but he’s not quite used to the lack of annoyed grumbling, the occasional yell or the muffled, tired shushing that’s probably supposed to be discreet.

Instead, there’s only quiet whispering throughout the classroom, and a few glances thrown at the two empty desks. Aizawa is curious himself, and possibly a tad bit concerned, but maybe the kids are late.

The dorms being a five-minute walk away should have taken care of that problem, though. Of course he understands that sometimes students are late because of traffic or something he can conveniently put in the same category, but the dorms fixed even Kaminari’s perpetual lateness for the most part, and the majority of the class usually arrives in two or three groups.

If his memory serves him right, Aizawa doesn’t remember a single case of a student being absent and nobody bothering to notify him in the entirety of his teaching career. His students, especially in their first year, tend to be properly terrified of him at least enough not to skip class.

Then again, he still hasn’t expelled a single student from this class (although if it wasn’t for the current, inconvenient circumstances, Mineta would have been at least suspended a while ago for inappropriate behavior. He regrets not doing that at the beginning of the first year).

Right now, the empty seats of Kirishima and Bakugou seem to be glaring at him. It’s way too early for this, and maybe he could chalk it up to the boys being young and hormonal and in love, but Bakugou, despite his attitude and personality, is an exceptionally diligent student when compared to most of his peers.

But the possibility of them being late still stands, so Aizawa decides to give them a few more minutes to appear with a proper explanation and goes on to read Jirou’s argumentative essay on foreign language studying in elementary school.

He has three pages left, because this girl has opinions, when out of the corner of his eye he sees a shock of blonde hair approaching him with what looks suspiciously like a smartphone instead of a textbook or a notebook. Judging from the way Kaminari’s fingers fidget around the device and the slightly terrified look on his face, he’s well aware of the fact that phones are strictly banned in the classroom with the sole exception of searching information concerning an assignment, and this could very well end up with his phone in Aizawa’s desk drawer for the remainder of the day.

Aizawa does recall seeing Kaminari fiddling with his phone earlier, too – in fact, he can just as easily recall at least Sero, Ashido and Midoriya doing the same thing, with several of their classmates occasionally checking their phones. Maybe he should have done something fifteen minutes ago, but if no one falls asleep thanks to the blue light they keep staring at, he’ll forgive them before nine AM.

Looking at Kaminari’s anxious expression as he walks to the front of the class like he probably would to an executioner that hasn’t been given an order yet, Aizawa is starting to be fairly sure he won’t be seeing Kirishima or Bakugou in his classroom today. Behind Kaminari, a few other students are nervously glancing around and furiously tapping at their phones. Several phones vibrate simultaneously, telling Aizawa with certainty that they’re all screaming in their group chat. He briefly wonders what the thing is currently named, because he knows for a fact that at one point it was called Adopted by Aizawa and another Is nobody in this goddamn class straight (that one, Aizawa wonders himself, too, at times, but considering that he’s been in a relationship with a man for well over a decade, well, he supposes he doesn’t have much to say to that).

Kaminari’s phone buzzes, too, but he doesn’t even look at it, which leads to the logical conclusion that whatever the reason is for him to be bringing a phone to Aizawa instead of an exercise, it’s more important than what’s undoubtedly obnoxious, emoji-filled caps lock mess of “what the fuck are you doing” directed at Kaminari.

Deciding to give the kid a break, Aizawa sighs and looks up at Kaminari. He makes sure not to glare, because that would be counterproductive in this situation and just slow things down, and instead schools his expression into a neutral one.

“What is it?” he asks, not quite managing to keep the sleepiness from his voice. Kaminari glances down at his phone, the light of the screen briefly reflecting in his eyes, and then focuses his eyes on Aizawa’s face.

“Um,” Kaminari starts, already stuttering on the one syllable. “I, uh, well,” he mumbles, and his eyes wander somewhere behind Aizawa and then to the desk. Aizawa raises one eyebrow as Kaminari glances at his phone again. The rest of the classroom has gone silent – even the constant buzzing has stopped.

“Kirishima says Bakugou’s sick,” he then mumbles, words leaving his mouth fast and surprisingly quiet. “That’s pretty much all I can get out of him, but, I mean…” Kaminari drifts off, glancing nervously around again, and Aizawa is starting to suspect that he’s more afraid that Bakugou will blast through a window or a wall and continue on to blow up his head for even trying to suggest such a thing than he is of Aizawa confiscating his phone. “It’s gotta be pretty bad if he’s admitting it, right?”

Inclined to agree, Aizawa nods.

Kaminari is quiet for a moment, hands still fidgeting with his phone, and Aizawa looks at him expectantly. It’s still too early for this, and he’d like for Kaminari to continue if he’s going to. It takes way too long for Kaminari to take the hint before he clears his throat.

“So, uh, I figured I should probably tell you, since you’re the teacher and all, and, uh, yeah,” Kaminari continues, fidgeting. Aizawa almost feels sorry for the kid.

The rest of the class stares as Aizawa stands up from behind his desk. It’s unbelievably quiet, and while Aizawa appreciates them worrying for their classmates, he doesn’t really care for how obvious they are about it. They’re kids, of course, yes, but they’re also future pro heroes who should not look this concerned over what probably doesn’t warrant that level of concern.

It crosses his mind that he might not know something he probably should.

He straightens himself, taking note of his stiff arms – they’re always stiff, these days, and sore, and sometimes he can’t bend them properly – and sweeps his gaze across the classroom. Kaminari is still standing in front of him, fingers curled almost protectively around his phone.

“Iida,” he starts, and said boy snaps into attention immediately. “I’m stepping out for a second. You and Yaoyorozu are in charge.” Iida vocalizes his understanding and Aizawa knows he’s going to come back to absolute chaos because that’s what his class is. “Kaminari, back to your seat. If I see your phone again today, I’m confiscating it,” he remembers to say, and Kaminari scrambles back to his seat so quickly he almost trips over his own feet.

According to the security system in place at the Heights Alliance, the building is mostly empty, with the notable exception of two people in Bakugou’s room. The system is connected to his phone, as it is to the phones of all the staff members that deal with the students on a daily basis, and this is so much better than having the bots inform him of everything back when the dorms were still brand new. The bots are bitchy.

He sends a quick message to Hizashi to please go check on his class if he can find the time, and tells him to take every cell phone he sees even though he knows Hizashi won’t do it.

The walk is short, and Aizawa soon finds himself in front of Bakugou’s room. He knocks three times and hears footsteps from the other side, and then he’s facing messy red hair, wide, red eyes, and sharp teeth, making up one Kirishima Eijirou, who has no socks on and hasn’t styled his hair up.

The visible tension in Kirishima’s shoulders drains away as he recognizes who he just opened the door to, and his whole frame slumps in relief.

“Sensei,” he breathes out, before Aizawa has time to say anything. Then his eyes widen. “Oh, crap, I’m so sorry, I swear we didn’t mean to skip and we’re not doing anything stupid during school hours,” Kirishima starts, and suddenly he’s rambling in a slightly panicked way. Aizawa decides Kirishima isn’t in trouble for this.

“I just, I couldn’t just leave him here alone,” Kirishima continues, eyes flicking to where Aizawa knows the bathroom is. Then he freezes, and Aizawa cranes his neck to see what Kirishima is looking at.

There’s a digital clock on the nightstand, and Kirishima manages to whisper a soft “fuck” before he turns back to face Aizawa, eyes wider and now looking decidedly scared. “I swear I didn’t realize it was already almost nine,” he says in a meek voice, and Aizawa finally raises his hand between them to silence him. Kirishima’s mouth snaps shut.

“You’re not in trouble,” he says, and Kirishima relaxes. “Just tell me what’s going on. You told Kaminari that Bakugou was sick?”

Moving away from the doorway, Kirishima starts explaining as he lets Aizawa in. There’s a massive All Might poster staring at him.

“Yeah, uh, I don’t actually know what’s wrong.” Kirishima moves his hands helplessly. “He had a nightmare, which is nothing new, really, he has those, I have those, I’m pretty sure everyone has those," and oh, that's probably what Aizawa should have known but didn't, "but he was really out of it after, and now that I think about it he may have had a panic attack. And he was feeling sick, and so we’ve been camping in the bathroom since then. I think it was like five in the morning. He’s thrown up a few times,” he explains, hands fidgeting, as he nudges the bathroom door open with his foot.

Bakugou looks absolutely miserable.

He’s curled up to himself, hugging his knees to his chest, leaning on the wall next to the toilet, and he doesn’t even glance at the door when it opens, instead staring at a fixed spot in front of him. He’s wearing what looks like a Crimson Riot hoodie that’s a little too big on him, and his knuckles are white. The room reeks of sickness.

Kirishima sits down on the floor next to Bakugou, moving softly, and presses a kiss to his temple. “Hey there,” he murmurs. “I came back, you’re fine,” he continues, fingers settling to Bakugou’s hair, and on some level he reminds Aizawa of Hizashi. Bakugou doesn’t react.

Crouching down sends a twinge of pain from his knees to his hips, because today is apparently a shit day pain-wise, but Aizawa does it anyway. Being on eye-level with Bakugou, the kid looks even worse; his eyes are bloodshot and lips chapped, and he looks very pale. A quick check confirms that Bakugou isn’t wearing his hearing aids, so he digs his memory for sign language – he hasn’t seen Hizashi’s parents in a while, so he hasn’t used it in a while. He’s not exactly fluent in JSL, but Bakugou can hear something, so he’s going to make this work.

“Bakugou,” he starts, and fuck, the kid flinches. But the vacant look in his eyes clears, if just a bit, and Bakugou turns to look at him instead of the wall. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

Bakugou stares at him for a moment, a considering look in his eyes as if he’s trying to figure out something, and then swallows thickly. Kirishima hasn’t stopped running his fingers through Bakugou’s hair, and his previously free hand has slipped to hold Bakugou’s.

“I feel like shit and I want it to stop,” Bakugou croaks, tone detached and emotionless.

“Okay,” Aizawa replies, even though that did not answer his question. But Bakugou is clearly not lying, either. “I want to check if you have a fever, which means I’m going to touch your forehead,” he explains, trying to emphasize the words with a few key signs he doesn’t think he botches. He reaches a hand forward, but Bakugou interrupts him.

“I’m not sick,” he says, still without any emotion, but he sounds surprisingly convinced of this considering the unhealthy pallor of his skin and the fact that he’s been throwing up. Aizawa quirks an eyebrow.

“I’m going through some bullshit trauma response,” Bakugou continues, clutching Kirishima’s hand, “and it won’t stop.”

Which, okay, Aizawa can understand, because he’s been there, right down to describing the post-nightmare haze as bullshit trauma response when reality didn’t feel like reality and his body didn’t feel like his body. He can’t even imagine what it must be like to go through that at seventeen, because at the very least Aizawa himself was a proper adult and an actual, full-fledged, licenced hero with several years of experience when that particular brand of bullshit trauma response first hit him. Bakugou, on the other hand, is still a teenager, a student, a kid, and so is Kirishima.

He’s throwing Bakugou back to therapy starting tomorrow.

After the incident last fall, Aizawa made sure to force every single one of his students to sit down with a counselor. That lead to a few of his students agreeing to start therapy, and Aizawa keeps careful tabs on who’s going and how the rest of them are doing mentally; Bakugou quit at the end of the school year, Iida, Midoriya, Asui and Kirishima all sat a few sessions, Todoroki is still going, and if Aizawa is being honest, he doesn’t think Todoroki will ever get out of therapy. In any case, he does not need a repeat of a student having a mental breakdown and trying to kill a fellow student.

Looking at Bakugou now, Aizawa doesn’t think he’ll resist the idea too much.

Somehow, standing up is even worse than crouching down was. His knees protest, his ankles protest, his hips, his back, everything. It doesn’t matter, not right now. He’s an adult, and a teacher, and on duty.

“Here’s what we’re going to do,” he starts once he’s straightened up. Kirishima’s eyes snap up to him, while Bakugou continues to stare where Aizawa’s face just was. “I’m going to call the nurse’s office, and they’re going to send someone here to give Bakugou something to calm down. You’re both excused for the day,” he adds, because he figures Kirishima wouldn’t be able to concentrate in class anyway.

“They’re gonna sedate me,” Bakugou states bluntly, and there’s still the detached tone to his voice.

“Not if you don’t want to– “

“I don’t.”

“– but they’re still going to check you up to see if there’s something else wrong. Do you still feel sick?”

Bakugou nods slowly, and Aizawa resists the urge to sigh. The poor kid is in for a long day.

XxX

Aizawa stays with the boys until a nurse whose name he doesn’t remember determines that Bakugou is dehydrated, exhausted, and indeed going through some bullshit trauma response; he’s damn near tachycardic, and apparently he’s been dissociating for hours. He won’t talk, so Kirishima provides information where he can – Bakugou still doesn’t seem to have a full grasp on everything that’s going on around him, not to mention what has been going on for the past few hours besides feeling horrible and confused.

In the end, the nurse gives him something to help with the nausea, and convinces him that a mild sedative is a better idea than continuing to feel like shit because he’s too wound up. Getting Bakugou up from the floor turns out to be the most difficult task, because he’s stiff as all hell and shaky on his feet. He doesn’t want to be touched, which is understandable but inconvenient, and once upright he wobbles and almost crashes into Kirishima.

Bakugou seems to fall asleep the second his head hits the pillow, and the nurse gives Kirishima some general instructions like keeping him hydrated and trying to get him to eat something, and tells him to call immediately if Bakugou starts getting worse or if his condition doesn’t improve in a few hours.

Finally walking back to the main building after reassuring Kirishima that yes, taking today off is fine and no, they’re not in trouble for not showing up to class, Aizawa swallows two painkillers dry and prepares himself for the mess that his class is likely to be when he returns.

XxX

As expected, Aizawa comes back to absolute chaos.

Kaminari is draped over Sero in a vaguely disturbing angle. Midoriya and Todoroki are hunched over the former’s desk in what decidedly does not look like studying. There seems to be a dance party at the back of the classroom, attended by Ashido, Aoyama and Hagakure, with Jirou providing music. Iida and Yaoyorozu are both sitting at their seats looking defeated.

There’s a nice couch in the teachers’ lounge. He can take a nap there. It’s fine. Hizashi can do something about his class.

#fanfiction #bakushima #kiribaku #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #sickfic #my writing

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the-canary · 6 years

Text

Starlight - B.B (4/6)

Summary: Mysterious, but life changing things always happen if you just let life take its course – you decided to try it for once. (Modern AU!Reader/Bucky Barnes).

Prompt: Emily Dickinson: XXI

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

A/N: This is for @abovethesmokestacks ‘s Summer Writing Challenge. Revelations! And me using that certain type of knowledge.

Feedback is always welcomed.

It starts off timid at best, a good morning here and hello there throughout the day between the two of you though while taking into mind that there is a 3 hour difference between the two of you, as Bucky moves from Arizona and into California. The first step of more interaction is a bit before that when Bucky decides to sends you a series of photos from the Grand Canyon late in the afternoon. A huge smile is on your face for the rest of the work day that even Wanda couldn’t help but notice, as she shakes her head at your brightening attitude. You are slowly getting back into the rhythm of things and while it hurt just a little, you were used to your mother not talking to you once more.

It’s such a drastic change from a few months back that one day Wanda can’t help but ask.

“Are you seeing someone?” she asks during one uneventful lunch break, as you look up from your phone, looking away from the wildflower trail pictures that Bucky had sent you earlier in the day. Her brown eyes are curious as you look at her, but there is also a huge grin on her face -- waiting for your answer.

“No,” you manage to say, but the next thing that comes out of your mouth is a bit bitter as you aren’t sure what the hell Bucky is to you at this point, “I’m just chatting with a friend who’s traveling.”

“So, you wouldn’t mind if I asked you?” she quips with a hopeful tone, as you raise an eyebrow though a little bit fearful about what your sort-of work friend wants from you, but you would always be kind enough to listen to anyone out at least once.

“Ask what, Wan,” you ask cautiously, as she gets up from her seat and moves to sit on your desk and as much as you enjoy her company, you can’t help but lean back like a frightened cat.

“I am going on a double date in a few nights with my boyfriend Viz,” she explains and you watch her carefully from your corner of the cubicle, “And I actually needed a date for my brother. ”

“Wanda--” you say in annoyance as she puts her hands up as if trying to defend her idea.

“He’s a good guy. I think you could hit it off,” she gives you a sweet smile and deep down you know she is trying to look out for you in a certain way. Wanda is the type of person that wants to see everyone happy and in her own way and that means is she’s together with someone, she wants everyone around her to be happy together as well. It was a little annoying, but you could tell she was coming from a good place not unlike --

No romantic life either, what good are you for anyways?

“Could I think about it?” you give her the most vague response possible. Her smile wanes for a moment before she agrees since she sprang it up on you last minute before going back to her side of the office. You take a look at your phone for a moment before ignoring it for the rest of the work day, uneasy over what had just transpired and feeling like you were doing a disservice to Bucky as well.

It’s been awhile since Bucky has had a “bad episode” as he moves from Arizona into Southern California and he is sure that it is from the easier transition and travel he has been having since entering the state. However, as Sam liked to point out in his most recent phone call -- Bucky also had a new connection to the world around him, someone that supported him in on this new journey. He wasn’t short changing Steve, as his lifelong friend, or Sam, who had been helping him since they meet at the VA. However, with you there wasn’t any old standards to uphold nor was there any coddling because of what he was facing. You knew a different Bucky and while he had been scared to show you the side that was scared of the dark, that had nightmares or heard voices sometimes -- you didn’t turn away. You didn’t put him under an x-ray, but gently accepted him at his own pace and that’s the most Bucky had ever gotten from anyone.

It had help that you had shared a bit of yourself during those days back in Arizona, and Bucky wholeheartedly took in everything you had shared and kept it in a corner of his heart. It also wasn’t helping that every time he sent you a new set of pictures, you were ready and waiting with a cute comment even if some of his pictures were a bit blurry -- Bucky wasn’t as good with his phone camera as he was with his carry-on one. He knew that this wasn’t healthy: how he looked at your very first picture together in the front of his journal, how he wrote to you sometimes in it, how he missed your warmth in the middle of the night and the sound of your laugh when he had something funny to say.

“Have you thought that maybe you’re sweet for her, Buck?” Steve finally breaks the ice that Bucky has been avoiding during the call between Hemet and Death Valley National Park. Bucky can’t help but want to deny it, but his oldest friend knows him better than anyone else. Bucky remembers the flower trail he had just sent you a few hours before, wishing that you had been there with him smiling and laughing at just how blurry his pictures tend to come out -- but you can only do that through emojis.

“Maybe, Stevie,” Bucky’s voice breaks towards the end, as he comes to another realization, “But, I don’t think I deserve her.”

The voice rings loudly in his head one more: He’s no good. He’s no good for anybody.

Death Valley National Park, CA

Neither you nor Bucky have contacted each other in the past few days, what with you trying to convince yourself if you should go on the date as Wanda had asked and Bucky dealing with his own turbulent emotions at the prospect of falling for someone he barely knew. Yes, he knew you lived in New York just like he did, you had a growing love for astronomy and mythology from all the old stories that you read up on, and that you have anxiety plus a strained relationship with most of your family. But, he also knows that you laugh at the strangest things when he says them in just the right tone, you carry a book everywhere you go, and that you enjoy lazy mornings more than anything else.

Bucky just thinks that it’s a case of meeting someone at just the right (or bad) moment and getting attached to them. It had happened to him all those years ago with a redhead in college -- one that he had been hopelessly in love with and couldn’t see the dangers of until it was almost too late. Looking out at the vast desert wilderness, Bucky wasn’t sure what to call what he was feeling towards you -- it was deeper than an infatuation but not quite that l-word yet, but he knew give time it could be. How could this have happened to him?

My grandma always said that the universe will guide you to what you need.

He remembers you saying that with a fondness in your voice, and he wants to believe that with all his heart. He takes a seat on the steps of the small VR that Tony, Steve’s good friend and the designer for his prosthetic, had let him use for the time being -- the man was loaded and though they’re weren’t on the same wavelength all the time, Tony knew when someone needed a breather and would gladly helped one of his friends if need be. Blue eyes stare out at the darkened sky with a drink in hand and the soft melody of a familiar song not too far away from him, as he finds the stars that lovers destined to only meet once a year -- their time having already long past them.

Vega and Altair.

And thus Bucky sends a message, desperate and lonely, not really caring about what time it might be on the other side of the coast, just hopefully that he can hear your voice once more.

Can I call you?

Truth be told, it takes you awhile to see Bucky’s message because it’s the same weekend night that you are having your double date with Wanda, her boyfriend Viz ( it’s a nickname , she swears), and her older brother Pietro. And while he could be sweet and rather humorous, it just didn’t feel right -- it felt like you were trespassing into a tight group that had known each other for years and were trying their hardest to make you feel included. It didn’t help that deep down you couldn’t help but compared the track star to Bucky because while one was lively with grand gestures, you were more used to the reserved silence of someone else.

Both you and Pietro know that there isn’t going to be a 2nd date, but he is happy to meet the person that his sister talks so much about and you are happy to have a new potential friend, since he seems more like a sibling that won’t stop annoying you after everything is said and done. It’s nearly 10pm when you finally see Bucky’s message and as you lay down into bed, you hope that he still wants to talk -- because oh how you miss him.

Hey! I was a little busy, but if you still wanna call I’m all ears.

You’re in bed already, trying to read by lampshade as you try to get a bit sleepy but are too anxious about Bucky’s call. While there had been several messages and pictures traded between the two of you, this would be the first time you were actually going to have a phone call. It wasn’t that you hadn’t wanted to, but you didn’t want to bother Bucky at an odd hour or if he was enjoying the moment somewhere else. You jump at the sound of your phone ringing, as you pick up to see a picture of Bucky from that weekend -- hairy sticking all over the place with a bright smile and eyes, as he laughed over something off screen which had given you the chance to take said picture. You take a deep breath before answering.

“Hey, stardust,” he breathes out as a greeting and you can’t help the goofy smile on your face.

“Oh, that’s a cute nickname,” you giggle out.

“Well, I’m glad you like it then,” he admits, his voice not showing that he was actually quite nervous over how you were going to take said new nickname, but your reaction made him joyful, as he took a nervous gulp of water before resting on the doorframe of the RV.

The two of you trade pleasantries for awhile going over how you were doing at work and what he had seen since you had left him, though less about the details and more about he had been feeling. It should have been just like talking with Steve or Sam, but Bucky couldn’t but notice how more open he was about his feelings and you never deterred him from talking about anything that came to mind. Your laugh sending a warm feeling through his chest and he couldn’t help but get dragged into your stories over work or just random little moments in your daily life -- wishing he was there to share them with you. Eventually, you both run out of things to talk about as the clock reaches midnight and that’s when Bucky decides that he has to ask you -- to see just exactly if there is any inkling over what you might actually think of him, if he might have a chance with the star that has been shining so brightly in his life.

“Do you think everyone feels lonely when they fall in love?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Wow, that’s deep, Bucky,” you murmur with a soft laugh that catches his heart as he stares at a familiar constellation, as you admit the last part a bit more bashfully, “But, I can’t really tell ya about that, I’ve never been in love before.”

“Never ever?”

“Not that I can think of. I mean there have been dates and stuff, like tonight,” you say without much thought and Bucky swears he stops breathing for a moment, though a little sad over the idea you had never been in love before, but he could understand from what he knew about your past, “But I have never been crazy over someone like that, but maybe that’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

“You went on a date?” Bucky says as calmly as possibly, already waiting for the utter defeat of realizing his feelings too late, that you had already been taken away from him, “H-How did it go?”

“Hmm, he was all right, but I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again,” you state, as Bucky lets out a sigh of relief trying to mend together his bleeding heart, though he can’t help but be a little envious at the mysterious man that you had gone out with, “So what about you, have you ever been in love?”

“I think I was once,” Bucky explains, though clearly confused himself, “I think I am now, but it’s not the same feeling?”

“Oh, what do you mean?” you can’t but ask.

“Have you ever heard of Vega and Altair story?” Bucky explains, giving a bit more detail before going on and you can’t help but let out a sigh, though you aren’t sure if it’s due to the story or how he talks about this woman, “They’re only meant to meet once a year. It’s maddening, doll. Sometimes, it feels like she’s a dream, something I came up with in my head until I hear her voice or see her messages. But, I’m scared -- that if I tell her or if she learns about the past me, she’ll disappear and I’ll never seen her again.”

“Bucky Barnes, you listen to me,” you exclaim, jumping in momentary anger from your bed as you let out a tirade at this mystery woman, “Any gal would be lucky to have someone like you, if she doesn’t return your feelings, then it’s her damn loss. And I know it’s hard, but don’t you ever lower yourself for another person, ya hear me?”

“You’re a little scary right now, doll,” Bucky exclaims, as for a moment your fierceness over him reminds him of Peggy, though if you only knew it was you he was talking about. It’s ironic, but he still appreciates it either way, “But thank ya.”

“Just stating the truth,” you state confidently, as Bucky shakes his head on the other side of the phone.

The conversation swings from there to all the things, mainly constellations, that Bucky can see from the outside of the RV, and you can’t help the smile growing due to the fact that it isn’t bothering as much as before, something you had worried about when leaving Arizona. A smile can’t help but appear on your face as you close your eyes and just imagine yourself being there with him. His voice, deep but soft, slowly easing the tension and anxiety you went through just a couple of hours ago being forgotten as you started to fall asleep.

“--If I turn a bit more, I can see Lupus,” he remarks offhandedly, turning to the right for just a moment though he is surprised as to what you have to say next.

“Hmm, that one reminds me of you,” you state with yawn, remembering the talk from some time back that only made you wonder now if you could be like Cassiopeia in his eyes as well.

“And why would you say that, stardust?” he says with an easy laugh that makes your heart sped up for just a moment, as you turn on your bed and can’t help but think that’s it’s missing a mass of warmth you had gotten too quickly used to. You cuddle closer to your largest pillow and let out a sigh.

“Wolves get a bad rep, but they care about each other,” you explain and Bucky is happy that you aren’t there to see the massive blush reaching down to his neck in that moment, “Loyal and protective, it all reminds me of you.”

“That’s really sweet of ya,” is all he can manage to say through his embarrassment, as you hum in response. With that Bucky comes to the realization that you are falling asleep and while he wants to spend the whole night talking to you once more, he knows that it is late in New York with the 3-hour time difference.

“It sounds like you’re falling asleep on me,” Bucky remarks with teasing quip as all you do is give him a hum in response, “Well, I should let you go then. Sweet dreams, doll.”

“Sweet dreams, Buck,” you response in kind, the tiredness and ache of tonight and not being near him dragging you somewhere where you can be -- at least for a few hours, “ Love ya. ”

And with that you leave a very confused Bucky Barnes on the other side of the phone, unsure of what you meant with your words, but with a hopeful beat in his heart at the possibilities he hasn’t felt he was worthy of for years finally flourishing around him. And for a moment, he wishes he was back home -- back in New York where he could be close to you, but for now he had to keep playing at being Altair for a bit longer.

Part 5

#piassummermadnesschallenge #james buchanan barnes x reader #james bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes traveling au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fan fic #bucky barnes fanfic #series: starlight #fabiola trying to write

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rksomiin-blog · 6 years

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*.☽ .* 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧' 𝐬𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜

( disclaimer !! i’m still working around learning what’s canon & what’s not, so i didn’t put the artist's names to be on the safe side !! if they’re canon, they’re canon !! if they’re not, you can assume they were made by some other npc group !! and if they’re planned to be used in the future just….replace it with another song you can conjure up in your imagination!! <3 )

- - -

“can they see me? am i on? is the camera on?”

curious eyes, dyed a silver that makes her seem less than human, peer at the camera in curiosity as she checks for any errors. the twenty-two year old is dressed in more seductive dance attire than usual, a choker surrounding her neck, as the silk of her cocktail dress hug her waist. despite her safety short’s and awareness of her outfit choice, somin just knew someone would comment on her outfit of choice. it didn’t seem like onlookers were being too understanding of her, either. being in the middle of a grimy train station, she was certainly getting some odd looks, but by the confidence she was exuding it was hard to tell if she knew eyes were on her.

“alright. hello, everybody!” the woman greets, as she waves to the camera. she watches as people rush into what would be her instagram’s first live blog, posted on her story for a small following to see. with luck, this would be what would set her a little above the popularity she’d had as of yet. truthfully, she couldn’t be bothered to produce a full, edited video for youtube, so decided it’d be best to just do a broadcast of her own.

it’s unknown what the dancer is doing in such an odd setting for a video, the sound of passing faces and halting trains diminishing her voice to just barely above a whisper, although she was projecting to the best of her ability. “you know, i’ve seen a trend going around lately - this or that, type of thing?” as she tends to do, her hands idly toy around with the ring she always wore on her left index finger. “anyways, i figured it wouldn’t hurt to try that today. so...today we’ll be playing a little game called my followers choose my dance routine! it’s similar to the trends i’ve sure you seen, but with a bit of a twist - i must dance, and it has to be in public. it’s up to you how i perform!”

somin was willing to sacrifice her pride for the sake of the challenge, it wasn’t like much of her confidence would be compromised, after all. she was sure of herself, and knew that end of the day she could perform well, so as long as she was getting some notoriety she didn’t mind embarrassing herself a little.

“let’s start with something a little easy, yeah?” she asks, to get the ball rolling. “okay, min-mins,” she calls, the nickname she’d given her followers months prior as if she had a true fanbase. sure, she’d gathered a small following over the dance videos she’d appeared in enough to become known, but nothing quite as significant to already have a fandom name. but - this was jeon somin. “here’s your choices - likey, or…. russian roulette! it’s up to you guys, what should i do?” instead of the typical voting system she’d seen, she stays on the live, using her visual cues to decide which was winning. both songs were outside her typical comfort zone, as of late she’d preferred dancing to american songs, particularly those that allowed her to perform hip hop styles she’d begun to fallen in love with. although the latter was her favorite, her phone floods with requests to perform likey.

standing up from the crouching position she’s been in, somin pulls out her phone she used at the dance studio to play songs and such without having to leave her main one around. as the viewers look on, she backs up, though there’s not much space in the bustling train station. after pressing play, the familiar intro comes on and it’s like somin transforms. cuteness was always a charm she’d had when she was young, but had somehow lost as she’d matured and favored a sexier image. however, she’d realized over the past few months she needed to be more versatile if she truly wanted to be signed anywhere, so had been getting back into softer dances. with a grin on her face, her movements light and bouncy, she signals a heart to the screen.

“렌다 me likey!” she sings rather bubbly, though she’s sure not to take herself too seriously. her singing’s definitely not up-to-par with her other skills yet, and the last thing she wants is for her chance to be recognized discarded because of a sour note. following the familiar motions, people cross her, some smiling and joining in momentarily while most others, such as the older generations, look on with both utter confusion. “but that’s not all!” she says to the camera as she continues dancing. while it’s partially for fun, she hopes her technique does show through, the product of years upon years of dancing under numerous studios. “let’s make this a little more fun! it’s up to you all to decide - should i try continuing with my eyes closed, or scream the lyrics, in front of all these people?” she asks, gesturing to the crowd behind her. a sort of observation rink forms, a few feet from her as they look on curiously. with dancing, though, somin was in her own world. no one, even those staring her down right beside her, could sway her from what she was doing.

after tallying the votes, she clasps her hands together, getting a rather unanimous answer. “screaming it is!” she announces, and though she’s not one to get flustered she feels her palms sweating in slight anticipation. “alright, let’s do this.” clearing her throat, she cups her hands over her mouth, as to call attention to herself by amplifying the noise. “did you hear me, hongdae university station? i said, 렌다 me likey!” like that, she begins yelling the lyrics to the best of her ability, trying as hard as she can to keep her voice stable as she runs through the dance motions.

“BB크림 파-파-파,

립스틱을 맘-맘-마,

카메라에 담아볼까, 예쁘게!

이거 보면 웃어줘,

그리고 꼭 눌러줘,

저 밑에 앙증맞고 새빨간... heart heart!”

just as the girl approaches the bridge a second time, she huffs in exhaustion, her body deflating as she stops the song. all around her, people are looking on in utter confusion, and she’s even summoned a guard to look at her angrily. but what’s better than an audience, right? the comment section is on fire, laughing emojis and further request flowing throughout the chat.

trying her best to hide her exhaustion, which was extremely difficult considering the extremity of her task, somin presents the next two options. “alright, alright. next two - lullaby, or the 7th sense?” two entirely different options, ones that get the comments in a heated debate. while some wish to see her charisma and sharp choreography in the first, the others hope to get a glimpse of her attitude and stage presence with the second. the woman sees some comments questioning her options, asking why she hadn’t chose a male song. “why, am i not able to dance to a boy group’s song, too?” she asks, her tone rather polite and teasing, while her anger flares inside her - the true, emotionally-leading somin threatening to spill out. “let’s see about that.” finally, deciding to break up the debate on her own, she decides on the 7th sense and puts herself in a starting position.

this dance is taken a little more seriously, truly showing the extent of her abilities. able to control herself, she locks her body into the desired movements.

“감싸주지 나를, hate is on me-” she decides to sing along, glaring at the camera as she sends an indirect message to the user who had questioned her abilities. was she being too menacing? it seemed the look had gone over as alluring, rather than rude, and hearts and emojis showing shock cover her phone screen. rolling with it, she decides to give the dance a sexier vibe, allowing it to appear more feminine than the original had. her movements are as sharp, but hidden between them are enchanting looks and slow, almost taunting movements. as she decides to pop as the beat of the song drops, she catches a rather angry older woman walk past her with a look dripping in disgust, cursing the teenagers of this generation. “somin-unnie, you look so cool?” she reads, letting out a laugh as she approaches the bridge, looking over to her phone. “thanks, iloveconvextodeath24!” she replies, finding it hard not to chuckle at the cheesy username. my group’s name will be on someone’s username too, someday, she promises herself, though the dream seems anywhere but close.

“now, like last time, it’s time to switch it up. would you rather me add aegyo, or try the rap?” either provided her with an incentive that’d be valuable to her - showing off her duality, or putting one of her developing skills on display. finally, after a brief moment of indecisiveness, the growing viewers decide on the rap - and just in time. just as she hears the familiar part approaching, she readies herself, putting the dance on pause as she steadies her body.

“uh, 여전히 어딘가로,

이름 모를 지역에, 난 이름 모를 hall 로,

몇 밤을 자도 편치 않은 어딘가 에서도,

결국 대부분 내,

시간을 보내는 explorer…”

by now she’s just getting curious looks, the crowd seeming to adjust to her odd behavior. to be fair, it wasn’t all-too-rare of a sight in hongdae, seeing that much of her time on the street meant passing my busking teens and hopeful trainees showcasing their talents. somin was no outlier.

“uh, and that’s a long ass ride!” she finishes, bursting into a fit of laughs as she collapses onto the ground, covering her legs to prevent her dress from riding too high up. the satisfaction of successfully finishing the rap without stumbling too bad was genuine, and she let out a cheer of victory at the accomplishment. the live had been going fairly well, and though she had a few slip-ups both her and the viewers seemed to enjoy themselves.

it was getting fairly late, however, and somin knows she’d better wrap it up soon if she wanted any chance at ending things before it got too dark out. “okay! mission two, complete. this one’s the last one, min-mins, so don’t disappoint me!” a thumbs up of encouragement is given before she finally speaks again, urging the remaining onlookers to share their opinion. “ko ko bop, or….” before she can say the last choice, a man’s enthusiastic voice can be heard in the back, and only when she looks behind her does she identify them as one of the people in the station who’d grown interested in the randomly timed performance.

“latata!” he calls out excitedly, no doubt a fan of the song by his tone. somin can only grin, and with a shrug she turns to the viewers. “well? you heard it here, what’ll it be, then? ko ko bop, or this lovely gentleman’s suggestion, latata?” turning, she puts on one of the smiles she’d rehearsed to use in situations like this, a romantic undertone as her hands twirl around to wave. whether it be for their genuine preference or keeping the man in mind, latata wins by a landslide. for the final time, she rises to her feet, setting the song up.

“let’s kill it!” she hadn’t been truly prepared to perform the song, but somin was glad she did. months ago, she’d picked the choreography up from a dance workshop. her lack of practice afterward was evident, and there are some parts in which she blanks on the upcoming move or had to rush to her next position, but tries her best nevertheless to save herself by way of charisma and improvisation. the song itself was perfect for her aura, the playfulness and sexiness she had inherited working together to produce an entertaining performance. just for kicks, she turns to the man who was looking on with excitement, mouthing the words “everyday, every night, latata,” before popping back into the powerful chorus. by her confidence, someone would swear she was someone of influence, though her skills didn’t yet match those of an idol.

“last challenge!” she calls, not stopping to check the comments this time around. “your call - should implement ballerina moves, or do everything at 2x speed?” for once, she’s surprised by the result, expecting the second to win due to its popularity on variety shows. however, ever since she’d mentioned her background in dance she’d by asked by some to post a video displaying what she could do, therefore over sixty percent of the comments favored the ballet. “so i guess you prefer somin the ballerina over me tripping over my own feet! okay, then, let’s do this.”

to be completely honest, somin was incredibly scared. she hadn’t practiced ballet in quite a while, let alone go on pointe. she decided to keep it rather simple, using a routine she’d learned when she was younger and somehow modifying it to resemble the rhythm of latata. échappé, pas de chat, and trying her hardest to finish the song by nailing a grand jeté. perhaps she’d been too ambitious, for the second she tries to land it she stumbles until crashing onto her feet. ouch. she’s using every name in the book, cursing herself for being so careless. was it the lack of training beforehand? or the dress? by now, it was basically a shirt, the shorts underneath protecting her from any potential exposure. nevertheless, she felt vulnerable enough as it is, as some concerned peers rushed over to ask if she was okay. breathe, somin. there’s no way you’re going to look phased by a stupid fall on camera. “i’m fine, i’m fine.” shooing them off, the dancer adjusts her appearance before flashing a smile of assurance to the flurry of worried comments. “i’m fine, i promise, everyone. but i think that’s my cue to stop.” while it is followed by a laugh, somin knows she’s reached her true limits, and perhaps had exceeded them in her attempts to impress everyone.

“so, i think that’ll be it for now! thanks for following my journey of dancing in public!” while she knows she’s not a true professional yet, and shouldn’t take it so seriously, there’s a visible tinge of disappointment as the girl deflates right before the viewer’s eyes.”anyways, this has been my followers choose my dance routine! i hope you’ve all had fun, and let me know if you’d like to see more of these youtube-style type of lives!”

and like that - with an air kiss, and a wave - she’s gone. the tapping of a button and the black screen marks the end of the live, as somin let’s out the biggest exhale she’s held in during her entire life.

#❝ solos. ❞#sorry i wanted to get this out yesterday!!#but my laptop wasn't posting anything rip #rkvlog #❝ points. ❞

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Twist Of Fate - Ch05 - (Trixya) - katyahzamo

A/N: Fake instagrams for Trixie and Katya were made because I am that extra: click here for Trixie and here for Katya.

A reminder: Trixie is a hairdresser and Katya is a struggling photographer slash yoga instructor. Lesbian AU. Read the chapters on AO3 and/or come hang out on my tumblr katyahzamo. Comments are welcome and encouraged!

“I didn’t see you like this in a long time. Are you sure that last cup of coffee wasn’t too much for your skinny ass?”

Violet is sitting on Katya’s old couch, legs tucked under her elbow propped on the back, watching Katya come out with the fourth outfit that evening. It’s almost time to leave for the event and she has nothing to wear.

“Oh shut up. How long did it take you to look like that before you came over?”

Katya’s best friend is sitting there looking like a goddess, as always. Even in long, loose black pants her legs look amazing, and the emerald corset clings perfectly to her thin torso. With her hair pulled back in a ponytail, she looks effortlessly beautiful, and Katya doesn’t know whether she wants to bang her or envy her. Maybe a little bit of both.

“I literally just put on the first thing I found. But no, I’m serious bitch, since when are you obsessing over the color of your dress?” There’s a gasp then, making Katya turn away from staring herself in the mirror and back at Violet.

“Wait– do you have a date? Did Katya Zamo finally meet someone? You never go to these things. Is a girl making you go?”

Typical Violetta. She’s been set on finding Katya a girlfriend ever since they stopped dating each other in college, and at the same time discovering no one Katya dated was good enough for her. Violet was four years younger and they met in one of Katya’s art classes, hitting it off immediately. Their relationship was short, mostly sexual, and it ended up evolving into a friendship based on mutual understanding and never-ending support.

Violet believed in Katya when she went to rehab for her alcohol addiction post-college, believed in her when she had one dead-end, low-paying job after another, supported her when she finally bought her first professional camera and insisted Katya take all of her pro shots, despite photographers lining up to work with her. She was the first one who told her Sharon was a piece of shit who did not treat Katya right, and the first one who came running in the middle of the night when Katya called her after Sharon packed her bags and left.

Despite being hot-headed, arrogant and a bit of a narcissist, all qualities many people find off-putting, Katya loves her very much and knows her big ass heart is in the right place. Even though she’s not in town five months out of the year, she’s been Katya’s rock throughout the last year of her and Sharon’s relationship, and after it ended, too, even more so than Ginger.

“Fuck off, I don’t have a date. I just—I don’t know. I miss being around people and loud music. I miss going out with you, bitch, even though you always leave me for a threesome whenever we do.”

Katya wishes she had a date with her hot hairdresser, but wouldn’t say that out loud, for fear of having Violet on her case about it for the rest of the night. She’s already had issues not blushing when she told her that Trixie’s back and is the main reason her hair and bangs are short again.

Violet’s face falls in disappointment at the answer but takes a sip of her mojito and shrugs, not looking sorry at all.

“Girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. There’s going to be a lot of agency girls you know tonight, Fame, Shea, Naomi. They’re all coming to see Pearl’s set. She’s like this, huge DJ from the West Coast. I heard she even toured around Europe and Australia. The lesbians go insane wherever she goes.”

Katya laughs, discards another black dress and fixes her hair instead. She’s been walking around the apartment in her underwear for an hour and a half now, ever since she got out of the shower and blow dried her bob straight.

“You know lesbians love hot DJs, Vi. Didn’t you date one last year?”

“Yeah, I still have fond memories of her ass when I get lonely.”

Katya wheezes and smacks Violet’s knee as she passes by her and disappears into the bedroom again.

“Wait, I know!”

She hears Violet yell after her and hears her shuffling as she gets off of the couch and walks into the bedroom, pushing Katya a little bit to the side to take a look at her messy closet.

“Oh god.” Katya laughs, but lets Violet dig through her clothes and sits on the bed instead, watching her. It doesn’t take long for her to find what she was looking for, and soon enough she’s holding a lace bralette Katya hasn’t worn in years and a pair of black shorts to match – she is fairly sure Violet was the one who bought this for her birthday ages ago.

“Here, put that on. Do you still have those red shoes? You should get them and— this.” She pulls out a black lace see-through button up and puts it on the bed gingerly, grinning.

“You’re going to look smoking hot in that. Now hurry up, we’re going to be late for Pearl.”

The line outside of the club is huge – it stretches out for an entire block and Katya thinks that lesbians (and gay men, and everyone in between) are going insane over this Pearl girl. She’s curious to see her now and to hear her set, and at the same time nervous because Trixie is going to be there. When Violet went to the bathroom to touch up her makeup while still in her apartment, Katya spent five minutes staring at her own abs from all angles, exposed through the see-through shirt. She thanked yoga for keeping her in shape, and was actually a little impressed at how long her legs looked in the outfit Violet chose.

Once they parked the car and headed for the entrance, Violet saying they would let her in once they recognized her, Katya’s phone buzzed and she dug it up from the little purse Violet made her carry with her.

Unknown: Hey Katya, it’s Trixie :D

Unknown: We’re already inside, table reserved close to the bar

Unknown: Bob put you and Violet on the list so just tell the bouncers

Unknown: See you soon!

The message is followed by a string of flower emojis and Katya showed the message to Violet, who grinned.

“Bob coming through as usual, I love that guy.”

Katya is too excited to tell her that it was probably Trixie who insisted they were put on the guest list, and says nothing until after they are let through.

“Violet! Katya! Finally!”

Pairs of hands grab each of them by the wrist in the dimly lit room, purple lights flashing to the rhythm of the music Katya has never heard before, and it takes her eyes a moment or two to adjust. She really should have just gone with glasses instead of her contacts, but Violet insisted. Katya is sure that her friend wants her to get laid tonight.

Two pairs of hands that stopped them belonged to Shea and Courtney, both from Violet’s modeling agency, both tall and gorgeous, and Katya is suddenly glad she dressed the way she did. They take turns in hugging both of them; complimenting Katya’s hair, Violet’s outfit and telling them they arrived just in time for the party.

“We were late because Katya took forever to decide on an outfit, so I ended up doing it for her.”

“Girl, you did an amazing job. Katya, you look stunning!”

She doesn’t remember Courtney having an Australian accent, mostly because they met only once, briefly, when Katya did a job with Violet and Fame several weeks before. She remembers Shea better, because Shea insisted on Katya joining them for lunch, saying she reminded her of her Russian girlfriend, Sasha, who was on a world tour traveling with her theatre troupe. Shea is the one complimenting her now, leaning back a little to take a good look at her outfit.

“Court’s right, you’re definitely giving me a Black Widow spy realness here. You should be in the photos with us next time.”

Katya’s laughing and waving her hands in protest.

“Hell no, I’m the one making art happen and I’d like it to stay that way, thank you very much.”

“I’m not sure about that, I bet you’d be a great model.”

“In Russia, maybe.”

“Well you know, you gotta start somewhere.”

They’re all laughing and for a moment Kaya forgets that she’s supposed to be nervous about Trixie. It doesn’t take them long to reach the bar and order drinks, cocktails for the three of them and a soda for Katya.

“Vi? I’m going to find Trixie and her friends, thank her for letting us know about the list. You coming?”

“I’ll come by later. Pearl’s set is starting soon and I really want to see her up close. If you know what I mean.”

Katya wheeze laughs, and Shea and Courtney join her too. Violet is known among her friends for having a thing for DJs and musicians in general, so having her at least flirt with Pearl sometime during the night would hardly come as a surprise to anyone.

“You can try, girl, but I hear she has a girlfriend she met on the road this year. Apparently they’ve been together since January.”

“Shea, since when has that stopped her from getting laid?”

Katya can hear them bantering about Violet’s sexscapades even after she walks away, making her way through the crowd, looking for one particular blonde head, her drink gripped firmly in her hand. She sees her before Trixie even looks her way, and reluctantly has to acknowledge the butterflies acting up in her gut again. Sweat is already forming on the back of her neck and she’s blowing the bangs from her eyes, praying that she still looks semi-decent, despite the stuffy air and nerves.

“Katya!” Their eyes meet just when the host walks on stage to announce Pearl, and Katya knows she has a very small window for conversation before the place erupts. “You made it!”

“Yeah, I tried! How are you?”

“I’m great, yeah. Katya, these are my friends, Shangela and you know Adore, right?”

Adore, yes, that’s the name of the girl who took the photo of her haircut back at the salon the week before.

“Hey girl, looking fine!” Adore yells over the host’s voice when she pulls Katya into a hug, which surprises her a little but she hugs back all the same. She looks young, younger than Trixie, and gives off a grunge vibe that Katya approves of immediately. Her voice is slightly drawn out; just as she remembers from the first time she met her.

“You too!” Katya says, aware that Trixie’s eyes are on her.

“Oh you’re the Atomic Bland girl they put up on Facebook, right?” Shangela hugs her next and Katya reciprocates. She is a tiny, compact woman with a blindingly beautiful smile and hair that reaches past her waist. Even in heels, she is smaller than Katya, but her energy definitely makes up for her height.

“Is everyone calling me that now?” Katya asks, eyes wide and grin wider, glancing over at Trixie.

“Hey, you came up with that yourself. I’m giving your brand the recognition it deserves.” Trixie shoots back, and Katya isn’t nervous anymore. This feels right, and easy, and she has not been this relaxed in a public setting in a painfully long time.

Any other attempt at communication is drowned by the crowd once Pearl walks on stage, and the club explodes with girls (and boys) everywhere shouting her name and whistling, making Katya wonder how on earth she never heard about her before. Not that she was necessarily immersed into the pop culture that much, not even the LGBTQ+ one, sticking to the 70s, 80s and early 90s obscure music, but every single person in this place seemed to know exactly who Pearl Liaison was, making Katya, once again, feel like a grandmother. As soon as the music starts playing, everyone rushes to the dancefloor, and judging by the genre, it’s easier to pinpoint why she didn’t know about her in the first place.

She left her tolerance for electronic music go when she graduated college and stopped drinking, but even she has to admit that Pearl is good. She commands the room so easily, and the way she holds herself reminds of days when Violet preformed burlesque, full of confidence and full of love for her audience. It helps that she is hot as hell, too, platinum blonde hair tied up into two buns on top of her head and makeup so good even under the harsh clubbing lights. It’s no wonder whatsoever why she’s so loved by every single girl in this place.

“Holy shit she’s good!” Katya yells over the music, leaning over to Trixie and Trixie nods, sipping on her vodka soda (or so Katya assumes), her hips swaying to the music a little bit.

“Girl, I wanna dance!” Adore yells from the other side of the table and Shangela agrees, taking her hand and pulling her into the crowd that’s somehow even bigger than it was five minutes ago. Katya wants to ask Trixie to dance too, but she is somehow still unsure how Trixie will react if she suggests it.

“Do you want to dance?” Trixie seems to be reading her mind again, and a slight shiver goes down her spine when she feels those pink lips so close to her ear, and Katya’s nodding without a second thought. They leave all of their things with the bartender that Trixie seems to know (who does Trixie not know, Katya wonders) and head to find either Adore and Shangela or Violet and the rest of her gang, Katya’s goosebumps permanent when Trixie takes her hand and tugs her along.

They don’t find any of their friends and after a while they stop looking. This close to the stage Katya can barely hear herself think, which might be a good thing after all, seeing Trixie’s cleavage up close like this, pale, soft flesh glistening with sweat as she dances right across Katya with her eyes closed, feeling the music with her entire body.

Katya dances too, but her eyes don’t leave Trixie’s face looking angelic under the strobe lights that pulse with the music and the bodies moving all around them. She can feel the beat in her ears, her throat and deep behind her ribs, thinking briefly about how good dancing to this music must feel to people who took things stronger than alcohol tonight. It makes her sober ass exhilarated now; though Katya’s sure it’s not just the music making her feel this way.

Trixie’s long, blonde hair is suddenly in her face as she turns her back to her, hips swaying and slightly grinding against Katya’s front, and she has the urge to howl. There’s no reluctance in her fingers that move to grip Trixie’s hips, letting them guide her own steadily, and just when she thinks she might die and ascend to heaven, there’s a voice in her ear, yelling.

“Hey bitches, having fun?”

Trixie pulls away from her immediately, her face beet red from what Katya assumes is the heat, and Violet is grinning that teasing, shit-eating grin Katya recognizes very well.

“Where the hell have you been?” Katya yells back as loud as she can while Violet hugs Trixie, trying to appear fine and not turned on at all, but the look on Violet’s face tells her that she’ll have to go to the washroom and fix her face as soon as possible.

“Up front!” Violet yells back, her glare drilling inside Katya’s head, as if mutely asking what it is she interrupted just now. Katya blinks at her innocently, so she rolls her eyes and continues. “Fame and Naomi were asking for you, do you want to join us?”

Katya is tempted to say no but she doesn’t want to prompt Violet to ask more questions than she undoubtedly will the moment she catches her alone, so she looks at Trixie instead. Trixie is looking at Pearl who just switched the songs and smiled at the crowd, dancing to the beat of her own music, and then looks back at Violet.

“Sure! I have no idea where Adore and Shangela are, I’ll have to find them later!”

“Adore, the blue-haired chick? Yeah, they’re with us, she did Shea’s hair for the photoshoot this week!”

They make their way to the larger group, with a little bit of trouble, when the beat changes to something softer and easier to dance to. Naomi and Fame pull Katya into a hug and are introduced to Trixie. Soon after they are all dancing together, making Katya think how much she missed being surrounded by a lot of girls. A lot of friends, too, just having fun and not thinking about anything past that night. Trixie doesn’t come as close to her for the rest of the set.

At one point during the night and towards the end of Pearl’s set that has lasted more than two hours, half of the group breaks apart to get more drinks and retrieve Trixie’s, Katya’s, Shangela’s and Adore’s things from the bartender and move them to the models’ booth, half remains to hang around on the dancefloor, and Katya goes to pee and fix the makeup that is undoubtedly melting off of her face at this point.

She is aware that everything will hurt from all the dancing in the morning, but her mood has been at the all-time high for hours. She happily recalls a moment when Naomi wrapped her arms around her neck and danced closer to her than even Trixie did, and the way Trixie’s eyes followed their every single move, and the way she quickly looked away when she noticed Katya looking back.

Katya feels like she’s deaf once the ladies’ bathroom door closes behind her, and can feel her own pulse in every inch of her skin. Once in the stall, she hears the door open again and finds herself wishing it’s Trixie.

It’s Violet.

“So when were you gonna tell me you’re in love with Trixie Mattel?”

Here we go.

Violet’s perfectly shaped eyebrow is quirked, arms crossed on her chest as she leans on the bathroom counter, watching Katya wash her hands.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh bitch, you’re telling me that dry humping and eye fucking the entire night was nothing?”

Her words are slurred and Katya realizes that for those two hours she has forgotten that other people drink. Not needing to drink to have fun seemed like a possibility for the first time tonight after years of dreading of going back to places where she’s the only sober one. Trixie has been drinking the entire night too, even stumbled over Katya’s foot as she headed back to the bar.

“We’re just friends, Vi, it’s not that serious.”

“When was the last time you danced like that with me, your best friend? I call bull. shit.”

Katya laughs at the whining tone and shakes her head, turning to face the other.

“Oh that’s what this is about. You’re jealous.”

She should know better than try to deflect. Violet probably knows her better than Katya knows herself, and is currently having none of it.

“Whatever makes you sleep at night, honey. But I’d say you should definitely go for it. Now give me a hug.”

Katya holds the embrace for couple of moments longer and Violet squeezes her back before heading for one of the stalls.

“Are you okay by yourself in there?” Katya calls when she hears Violet fumbling with her pants on the other side of the door.

“I’m fine! I’ll go backstage to look for Pearl, she’s almost done. You go be with your girlfriend!”

Katya wants to protest but that’s a futile battle with a tipsy, determined Violet, so she just pushes the door and goes to find the rest of the group.

Almost everyone is sitting at the private booth, some of them on their phones, others talking to each other, and Fame is on some boy’s lap, laughing at whatever he’s saying in her ear. It takes her one look to notice that Trixie is not here, or Adore for that matter, so she sits next to Shangela who pushes a new bottle of Coca Cola her way.

“You okay, girl?” Shangela looks up from her phone and at her and Katya nods.

“You?”

“Oh yeah. I’m texting Adore’s girlfriend, Bianca, she’s on her way here to surprise Adore.”

Katya looks around to see that the majority of the crowd has gone back to their seats, only a handful most persistent ones still on the dance floor. DJ Pearl’s spot on the stage is empty now, the music coming from the speakers probably a part of a club’s regular playlist.

“Isn’t she a little late for the party? Where’s Adore anyway?”

She actually wants to ask where Trixie is, but if Violet saw right through her immediately, she doesn’t want one of Trixie’s friends to clock her too.

“Bianca’s a stand-up comedian, traveling around the country a lot this time of year, and Adore had no idea she’s back, she just flew in this evening. That’s why it took her forever to come here. Adore’s probably outside, smoking. She’s found her weed friends so…”

Shangela motions dragging a smoke from the blunt and Katya laughs, thinking how she could use a cigarette too. She decides to stay to see where Trixie is and get her to go outside with her so they can talk properly.

Trixie doesn’t come back for a while, and Katya uses the time to talk to Shea who comes to sit next to her when Shangela goes to the bar to wait for Bianca. Shea talks to her about her portfolio, Shea’s girlfriend Sasha and her theatre troupe, yoga and everything in between. She has no idea how much time has passed when she sees Violet running in her high heels across the dance floor and hears a group of girls’ delighted screams when they spot Pearl coming from backstage right after Violet.

“That bitch.” Shea shakes her head, looking at Violet’s face when she struggles to pass through a group of Pearl’s fans, her eyes landing on Katya and she darts her way.

“Did you bang her backstage you fucking sl—“ Shea starts but Violet cuts her off with her hand raised as she squeezes into the booth besides Katya, sandwiching her with Shea on the other side.

“You’re never going to believe who Pearl is dating.” She says, but Katya isn’t listening or looking at her.

Katya is looking at Trixie who’s on the dance floor now too, phone in her hand, taking a photo of Pearl and two girls, all three of them raising two of their fingers in a ‘peace’ sign. The girls take the phone from Trixie’s hand and giggle, then walk away, and suddenly Pearl’s in Trixie’s personal space.

Katya doesn’t want to register what Violet is saying as she sees Trixie’s arms wrap around Pearl’s neck, she doesn’t want to acknowledge Trixie’s lop-sided smile or the way Pearl’s arms hug her small waist and pull her close. She feels heart (or is it bile?) rise up her throat when their lips meet and a round of ‘awwwwww’s erupts from the onlookers. She only barely registers Fame who came back and took a spot next to Shea and Katya looks away only when she hears her speak.

“Am I the only one seeing Pearl Liaison kissing Trixie Mattel right now?”

Katya is outside only moments later, and she hears a startled yell from her right, only to realize she’s probably banged the back door open. Outside, away from the music, it must have been loud.

“Katya, you scared the living hell out of me!”

Adore’s bambi eyes are big, and blood shot, but she’s smiling at her anyway and comes over to hug her tightly. Katya hugs her back hesitantly at first, but relaxes a little bit when Adore continues hugging her drunkenly, and for a full minute Katya thinks Adore might have fallen asleep on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Katya rasps, surprised she didn’t throw up instead, rubbing Adore’s back gently and trying to blink away the image of Trixie kissing the most beautiful DJ in the world.

“Oh yeah, ‘m fiiiiiiine. A lil’ drunk.” Adore draws out and finally pulls back, the lack of her body heat leaving Katya shudder, and not entirely because of the chilly night air.

“You sure?”

“Mhmm. Just had a smoke with some people and had to stay, fresh air, all that. What about you? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“I’m okay, I just needed a smoke.”

Her hands are shaking as she lights up the cigarette after Adore refused one for herself, and her breath is shaky as she exhales the smoke, trying to remember any of the breathing exercises her past therapists taught her.

“Is Pearl done?” Adore asks, and Katya feels her stomach drop to her ass at hearing the name.

“Yep, just saw her with Trixie and the fans.”

Adore nods and blinks once, twice, and then her eyes widen in a delayed reaction. If Katya wasn't as pissed, or as miserable, she would have laughed.

“Ohhhhhh, right. You sure you’re okay?”

Several things happen in Katya’s head then. Adore is Trixie’s friend, she realizes, so she probably knew all this time that Trixie had a famous DJ for a girlfriend. It’s probably the reason all of them are here, because she knows Trixie doesn’t listen to electro, and Adore definitely doesn’t look like she listens to anything but Nirvana. They’ve all come here to support Trixie’s girlfriend, and Katya has made an ass out of herself, flirting with Trixie, and holding her hand and dancing close to her to the music Trixie’s girlfriend was playing.

The way Adore looks at her now makes her think that she has somehow clocked her feelings, because if Violet has done it, everyone else must have too, and now Adore feels sorry for her and Katya can’t stand it.

“Yeah, I’m good.” It comes out a bit sharp, and she feels bad about it immediately.

Her hand reaches out to squeeze Adore’s wrist gently, knowing the younger girl will forget all about Katya’s trouble as soon as she sees her girlfriend who’s somewhere inside, waiting to surprise her.

“You know what, Shangela was looking for you by the bar, she says she has something urgent to tell you. I think you should go back inside.”

“Really?”

“Yep. It’s good, I promise.”

Katya manages a grin and even a laugh as Adore hugs her one more time and practically runs inside. She’s a good person, Katya thinks, and good people deserve good things happen to them. What was that bad that she, Katya, put out into the universe for it to treat her this way, she has no idea.

Katya: I’m going home, I’m tired.

Katya: Can you pick up my stuff and bring it over tomorrow?

Violetta: heu btch, f cuorse

Violetta: r u k?

Katya: yeah, just tired. You ok with taking an Uber?

Violetta: ys

Violetta: gna go with Fame n Shea

Violetta: I’m sry

Violetta: fr Trxiie

Katya: Good. Talk to you tomorrow. Text me when you get home

Violetta: u to bitch

Violetta: love yuo

Katya feels like she will definitely throw up once she gets home. She fights to hold it back the entire drive back but once she gets back to her small, shitty apartment, all she can do is take off her boots and put her almost-dead phone to charge. She texts Violet only when she’s in bed, an hour later, having smoked half a packet of cigarettes and still fully clothed, staring at the ceiling and assuming she will never sleep again.

Katya: Got home safely. I love you too.

#trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #trixya #trixya fic #katyahzamo #lesbian au #cisgirl au #slow burn #mutual pining #twist of fate #rpdr fanfiction

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