#i am Stanford Pines.

[starry-eyed-lord]

Alright here's angsty Stanford headcanons because I need to cope

He really struggles to empathise with people, which is why he moved on so quickly from asking about Mabels emotions when he was "taking away" her closest friend for an apprenticeship. He can't comprehend people feeling, and he really struggles to empathise with them unless they remind him of himself.

He always needs to be the best, and he'll do any petty little thing to make sure he's better than the people around him. "Grammar, Stanley." He genuinely couldn't let himself give Stanley that win, he NEEDED to be better than him, no matter how petty it was. He saw an opportunity to correct Stanley, and didn't hesitate to take it. He didn't care how it affected Stanley, and he wouldn't understand his emotions anyway, but he just needed that little ego boost of "I'm still smarter than you" even after Stanley had finally gotten his win.

He'll just take constantly in relationships, he won't think of how it affects people. He'll use little manipulative tactics like "are you sure?" In a grateful tone to make people think he appreciates the gesture, but he really doesn't care. He doesn't recognise the value of gifts. "I love it when people give me gifts!" He says, but not for the emotional value of someone getting you a gift, but because he's a kleptomaniac that likes getting things.

Superiority complex!! He looks down on everyone, except Dipper. Because Dipper reminds him of himself when he was young, and because of that, he sees Dipper as a sort of equal.

He'll have ego crashes every now and then, where he's fully convinced he's just the worst. "[...] causing him to ride and endless see-saw between dizzying ego, and plummeting insecurity." Said Bill. So Ford will usually think of himself as better than most people, like, he really looks down on everyone, but there will be periods where he's just manically depressed and he hates everything about himself and views people as better than him.

He was genuinely confused when Dipper turned down his apprenticeship. 1, he views it as a tremendous honour to be able to work alongside such an intelligent man, and 2, he can't comprehend that Dipper turned down the opportunity to potentially go down in history. "Can you seriously tell me you don't feel you were destined for more than this?" That's both subtly trying to manipulate Dipper into saying yes, and also, him genuinely being confused about Dipper not feeling a need for greatness.

He's very quick to refuse blame for most things, and turn it around on other people. "I'm selfish, Stanley? How could you say that after costing me my dream school!!" He completely brushed off Stanley's points, and emotions, and turned the situation into one where he could be angry at something Stanley did, so that he was the "good" one in the situation.

He doesn't act honestly, like ever. He masks so much of his personality, and now it's not even intentional. He's just such a dick, and people used to point that out, that he's picked up subtle ways to manipulate people into believing he's nice, things to say, things to do, etc.

He constantly does favours for people and is such a handyman, but it's usually just because he likes it when people praise him, or, to make himself look better. Like when he made that new lightbulb, and Mabel said "Are you seeing this? This is what a hero looks like!" That's EXACTLY why he did that, not because he wanted to, he probably expected someone would buy new light bulbs. He just wanted the compliments. And, branching off of that, he noticed the light bulbs that Stanley was holding and immediately clocked where he had been, but he still said "So, where were you?" Less as a question, and much more as a taunt, because it boosted himself even more.

He apologises a lot when he doesn't mean it. He'll do something that made someone upset, and apologise, but he doesn't actually feel sorry at all, nor does he understand why they're upset. "I really am sorry, is there anything I can do?" And things of the sort, he doesn't mean it at all, but he's literally perfected his acting skills. He can act so so genuine.

One of the only times he ever genuinely felt sorry, was when he burned Stanley's back. Up until he was pushed through the portal, he viewed Stanley as someone he loved and respected. Not "on his level", not an equal to him, but it was his brother and he genuinely did love him. So when he kicked Stanley and scolded his back, that was one of the few times he's ever genuinely meant the words "I'm sorry".

(His apology in Wierdmagedon was NOT genuine he just wanted Stanley to join in because they needed him)

Acts like he knew things he didn't know when people tell him about it, and acts like it was an obvious fact, solely to put them down

Some sick part of him takes pride in his history with Bill. No matter how much he hates Bill, there will forever be a section of his ego that's proud of the fact that he was the one to be chosen by Bill. Bill is one of the most powerful gods in the universe, in the MULTIVERSE, and he chose Stanford. Ignoring his intentions, it was still Stanford that he needed. And Ford takes slight pride in knowing he was needed by such a powerful god

He uses manipulation tactics without even realising he is

[telebeast]

unoriginal joke

[thecoolestcowboy]

i like ford because he is strange and off putting

[kate-bot]

billford comic i made while i was hungry >:3

[arrimorr]

The center of the galaxy

[mejkosmos]

whichever madman pointed out that the new rift on bill's body in the theraprism is meant to parallel ford's cracked glasses after he emerges out of the portal,,,, MY SOUL IS YOURS TO TAKE ANYDAY MY GOSH

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bonus !!

ford about bill:

bill about ford:

[viveela]

Toxic exes and twink form canon? What a time to be alive...

[socvincjpeg]

bonus

[cartoonsinthemorning]

The Most StanTwins Coded Meme ever to exist, and no one went for it yet? Absolutely untolerable, I had to do it myself.

[typona]

I couldn't get this scene out of my head after reading the book!

[digitalfishwish]

And for both we find out just to what degree, only in the post-show material lmao

[artsymeeshee]

Sometimes a hug is all that’s needed

[squidflavoredsoup]

mad bill n billford

[taccoman]

Standees ♡

[starlystudios]

So, when going over the Book of Bill for another time, I had a sudden thought…

So, in the end it seems that Ford did help Bill Cipher hunt down the destroyer of his dimension, for vengeance. Alex Hirsch, you and your dramatic irony.

[void-dude]

I’d love to see more of your “what if Tad Strange was canon and helped Stanley”, especially how it would change the turn of events with Bill since he thought everyone he knew was dead from the accident

Ok so you might not like this but it’s kinda part of my au called “ Shapes and Pines “

I got a comic in the works for the start of it and a BUNCH of drawings and doodles! I wanted to hold off on it until the comic is done but I’m weak! So here have some lore, jokes and doodles! I’m scared!

Most of these ARE jokes but uhm… idk if I’m gonna make them kiss but wouldn’t it be funny? A little? No?

Part 1 | Part 2