#i am ... so sorry apparently shes pissy

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing dmc1 with my earbuds in (but on low volume bc they're being weird) while my roommate and her shitty bf argue. i feel like i'm recreating the very specific experience of some child of divorce out there

[idontcare4urmom]

wrong || matt sturniolo

stepbrother!matt x fem!reader

summary: where your dad found a new woman on his life after one year of your mom's death,so you are forced to live all together after a lot of pressure,but what you didn't know yet is that her son is a total temping being that will send you over the edge..in many ways.

warnings: smuttt,unprotected sex,not proofread,porn with plot,dirty talk,eating out,pet-names,suggestive,scratching,tits sucking,etc.

a/n: my first language is not English,this sure has some grammar or other errors so i am sorry<3

."🎀".

"what the fuck you mean we have to move in with her?" you were basically shouting on your dad,and you weren't sure if you were more annoyed at the fact that he had moved on so far already or cause he didn't even cared to ask you if you acknowledge with it.

"i told you too many times that this is a very big and important step to me honey,besides her place is absolutely flawless,you will love it" his words only made you angrier,but you decided not to push it anymore since you knew deep down it would be waste of time,he had made his decision.

--------------------------------------

the days passed quickly,and you found yourself holding your suitcase in front of a captivating building that would change a part of your life for many years,at least your dad did not lie,it was trully more than luxurious,so with a deep sigh you walked until the doorway with him,your anxious levels on high.

after a few knocks the door opened to reveal a surprisingly tall,appealing woman standing there,with brunette silky highlights and a pretty good enough shaped body,the sight made you furrow although you could tell why your father had fallen for her.you were caught off guard when you were the one she even pulled into an embrace first and seemed in general eager to meet you.

"oh sweetie your dad has told me many things about you,i am Lana,come in,come in" you didn't had much time to process because she was pushing your hand gently inside,your eyes widening as you took in the house with your eyes,it was for sure bringing vibes of a cozy,modern place.

you didn't want to be in your normal pissy mood for the reason that she was treating you politely for now,so you made a small comment "wow,the decoration is really nice"

"oh thank you,i want you to be comfortable and feel welcomed here,you can go check the guest room that will be your own,is down the hall,if you need any help just call out my name" you nodded a little and began making your way towards the apparently new space you will probably spend most of the day at.

but,without realizing a sudden unrecognized human figure appeared in front of you while making it's way to another room,making you leave a small yelp from your lips "who are you?"

the blye eyed boy raised an eyebrow once he heard the question,letting a sarcastic laugh as he spoke "very ironic for someone to ask when they are the one in my house" oh? well he had sure attitude for the few seconds you had met him. you were about to say something in response even so he continued, a sheepish grin forming on his lips when he examined your presence through his dark eyelashes "wait..you must be my stepsister"

"huh?" was the only word you could express,you were incredibly confused--who was he? "i am Lana's son, Matt,no one informed you about me?" it was like he was able to read your thoughts,it only creeped you out more.

"no..my father must forgot to announce your existence to me" the words snarked out of your tongue as you were trying hard to act sassy,but for a disguise,cause shit the more you were observeting him the more perfect he got.

he had the necessary amount of beard to sense in case he ever trailed kisses down your body,his blue orbs seemed like they could stare deep into your soul yet in a enjoyable way,and hell those fingers were too distracting for no reason,especially with those silver rings that were practically begging for attention.just any of his facial features were ideal--however you weren't supposed to fall for him,it would be wrong.

you snapped out of your thoughts when there was a sound of a familiar voice snapping across the end of the hall,approaching the both of you excitedly,even though she was addresing specifically to you "i see you guys met,sorry darlin' i forgot to have a quick chat with you about that i have a kid..anyway he may be a pain sometimes but i am sure you will get along well with him"

--------------------------------

two weeks have passed,and she was completely wrong.every day the urge of smashing a bottle on top of his head is only increasing,he would suddenly barg into your bedroom searching for his own belongings,asserting that he often lost things by accident since he is being here from time to time--why? his set-up pc is on your area for years now.

despite that,his own bedroom is just a few steps away from yours,you have been struggling with sleeping peacefully cause he would blast music on his speaker at 2-3 am,you are almost confirmed that he must be doing it on purpose--and it doesn't end here,there is worse.

you are aware of a guy having 'needs' so the occasional echo of moaning could be heard to you from the thin paper walls,you swear that it's music to your ears and you feel like your mind is sabotaging you.he is annoying,that though didn't stopped you from having a weird desire rising in you for him,a pang on your chest with guilt for possessing the most unholy fantasizes whenever he would roam around in just a pair of sweatpants.

with all this being said,you produced a baffling bond with Matt,signs showing that he is on the same page as you,which leads you to today.laying down on your bed with your phone on your hands,stressfully ignoring his presence a few meters away.him entirely concentrated on his screen computer playing--God knows what--video games,with the controller on his hands.the silense more than unbearable.

you were determined to prove to yourself that maybe you can spend some time with him,you took advantage of him not wearing any headphones and lightly tapped his shoulder,pointing towards the black console afterwards "can i try?" you anticipated for his response,silently hoping that he doesn't mind.

Matt was kind of surpised by your request,nevertheless he had finished the round so he nodded "umh..sure" he slid off from the gaming chair while handing you the controller,your fingers barely brushing with his yet enough to make your head spinning.

you rested your body on the mesh fabric as he sat on the bed,and with a glance of the buttons you were clueless of the task in hand,not having any idea on how to participate in the online game.luckily,he noticed the confused look written on your face so he came next to you and started to make a fast learning lesson,

he taught you how to jump,how to run,how to kill,and other features you require to have in case of a proper match.as he did so,you caught him taking a few glimpses of your chest--it's not like he could help it,your crop top was exposing a certain amount of your cleavage,making it hard for him to focus.

a devilish smile curled to your face when you noticed,feeling bold enough to adjust down the shirt such as leaving only your breasts covered--matt could feel his heart beat raising,the temperature of the room turning thick once he stopped talking.

"can you show me how to jump again? i don't think i get it" you spoke,a hint of suggestiveness leaking from your tone--and he didn't want more than just to devour you right there, your father and his mother had left for shopping,so you were both totally alone which sent shivers down your back,

the tension bloomed into a insufferable feeling between the two of you,causing your breath to hitch around your throat,especially when you felt his fingers starting to touch yours fully in attempt to answer your previous 'request'.a hushed gasp breaking out from you when there was a unexpected hand gesture tracing your thigh in a agonizingly pace--screw this.

with a smooth shift of your face and waist you palmed his cheeks,bringing his lips to yours into a fiery dance.he didn't hesitate to shove his tongue in your mouth,impatiently exploring your taste before nipping down your bottom lip,eliciting a moan from you that get's shallowed against him,

the sound you made vibrated through matt's whole body,landing directly straight to his core and he could feel his jeans growing tight around his crotch,he didn't ever remembered himself getting hard from just a making out session--he craved more,he needed more,and so did you.

his hands started travelling their way to your stomach,crawling upwards until he squeezed your nipples over the fabric of your top and reaching to lift it up, "is this okay?" you nodded desperately at the question,he didn't wasted time by taking it off over your head,unclasping with one motion your bra afterwards to shower your bare chest with open-mouthed kisses,

your hums of approval soon turned into whimpers when he wrapped his mouth on the flesh of your left breast,swirling his tongue around it while his hand pinched the other between his free fingers,he repeated his actions by giving the same treatment to your right one after.

with a loud pop he pulled away,slowly reaching under the gaming chair so he is on his knees,his eye pupils half-lidded and fluttering over your face before he yanks off your shorts with panties,exposing your already wet dripping pussy to his hungry gaze,

"fuck you are soaked,how long have you been dreaming this? have you been waiting for me to finally pleasure you sweetheart?" you could him mutter cooing through gritted teeth,licking at your thighs in a intractable speed as he itches towards the arching spot in between your legs,lavishing his attention there as he made a long stripe up on your clit,making you buck your hips against his face shamelessly,

your nails found his hair,gripping and tugging on it for support,dragging a hiss from his mouth as he began to lap on your juices like you were his last meal,you started riding his face while whining pathetically,the obsence resounds filling the room as he continued to satisfy you.

his index finger rubbed your entrance,letting you shaking for more and barely hearing his gagged whispers "you taste so fucking amazing,such an intoxicating cunt",your lower abdomen started quivering into the familiar knot,reminding you of your approaching release,making you clench uncontrollably around his mouth,

"come on,finish all over face baby" matt sneered out when he sucked on robs of your pre-cum, your lips forming a perfect 'o' shape in the same time you swirled your digits on his roots so his head is forced to be still there,with a long pornographic moan you erupted,spurting thick,white jets that made your legs glistening.

after pulling away he swooped you into his arms,carrying you bridal-style on the mattress of the bed,him laying down firstly before grasping your sides stronly,helping you to be on top of him as he guided your hips so you can push against his clothed erection,the sensation maddening for the both of you.

your still sensitive heat grinded back and forth,feeling his cock poking under you so your hands progress to tug the zipper of his jeans down,sliding them down along with his boxers to his ankles in a way of exposing his throbbing tip,you usually didn't liked how dicks looked but matt's was different; a needy tenderness to have it deep inside you,he adjusted with ease the head down your folds,and with no doubt you sinked down on his length.

a unbidden squeal slipped from you as he grunted repeatedly,his grunts turned into loud groans of pure filthiness as soon as you started bouncing yourself,your tight walls squelching him, sending him closer to the edge even though it hadn't passed a minute of you riding him,his back arching forward which gave you the opportunity of scratching down the skin of his behind shoulders,

"such a good girl,fucking yourself on your stepbrother's cock, such a whore f'me" his words actually made you feel pitiful yet encouraging your movements to speed up their pace,his hips thrusting up to meet yours so he can pound into your hole frequently, "c-close" you panted out,your second orgasm increasing through you as your walls clinged around him,the actions driving matt insane "going to fill you up,do you want that? do you want me to cum inside you?"

you miserably sobbed in bliss and let a ''hphm'' of approval,before you knew it matt had busted,his climax exploding extremely hard into your pussy,following suit after him with your head throwed back and stopping after a minute so you can pull yourself out of him,both of you being a panting mess,

"that was incredible" "i am never letting you to even enter my room again"

------------------------------------

evelyn speaks!! thank you so much for 250 followers jixijcmjg,my last post with Matt got more than 800 notes likeee insane,thank you ALL for the support it means everything xoxo🤍🤍

tags! @writtensturn @pixiespax @verywonderlandpolice @itsnotmariahh @user9383738392 @monroesturnns @badussybumper @nwlluvsturnsstars17 @shadowthesim

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 7

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

Synopsis: A chance encounter in a tiny Madrid cafe with the newest superstar of her fav club. The two couldn't be more different, yet both feel the pull toward the other. Would this girl be the one he finally falls for? Would she make him change his ways? Even though she resists him every step of the way, would he fight all odds (& her) to have her in his life? Or would life come in the way of these star-crossed lovers?

.............................................................................................

Wednesday morning started off on a foul note for Jude. The team landed after a red eye flight & below is what he saw at 6:30 am. 

Ananya: Heyy. Listen, I am so sorry but I can’t make it tonight. NY office just got back and we have tons more to do. All hands on deck. Will be MIA most of today & tmrw. Hope you put something on your bruises. Take care & see ya soon! 

He groaned in frustration. Yesterday had been horrible & he was really looking forward to seeing her tonight. It was his primary motivation to get through the day. But the universe seemed to be conspiring against him.

He stayed in a pissy mood for a bit but sanity prevailed some time later. 

Jude: Heyy, it’s fine. Work is work. Go kick some ass. Lemme know if you get done soon ya?

His message remained unseen till 10:30 pm. She hadn’t come online. He knew, since he had checked more than a few times.

He was about to crash when his phone buzzed.

Ananya: Still in office. Will be a long night. How was your day?

He perked up immediately & grabbed his phone. 

Jude: Talk for a few mins?

Ananya: In conference room with folks, can’t step out.

Deflated, he fell back on the bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. All he needed was some attention from her tonight. For her to fuss over him like she had done yesterday. But alas. 

Jude: Day was ok I guess. Debriefed on the game, lads were being extra nice which was irritating but had a good chat with Boss. How was yours?

Ananya: Hectic, but this deal is so cool it’s blowing my mind.

Jude smiled for the first time today. Her ambition & drive was relatable. Admirable. And so so attractive. 

Ananya: Ok gotta go now. Ciao.

And just like that, his smile faded. 

Jude: Ciao. Eat something. C ya soon!

He twisted & turned in bed a few times. Finally, exhaustion took over and he drifted off to sleep.

Next day was worse, if that was even possible.

He again woke up irritated. The UK tabloids were going to run a trashy story about him & some girl. His team had been contacted for comments & the decision was to not entertain them at all. The story could drop any time now - that was the heads-up he had gotten.

Great, just what he needed.

The message that he wanted to see was not there. Not a single peep from Ananya. He scrolled through the previous messages, re-reading some. And then he froze.

She was going to see the article too. 

Such gossip pieces on him were not uncommon but he mostly ignored them earlier. As did his team. 

But this time, it was different. Because of her. 

He had to get ahead of the situation.

Jude: Morning dove. I know you are busy. Quick heads up - you may see a tabloid piece today about my ‘girlfriend’. It’s all bull ok? I will explain when we talk. 

Burying himself with work seemed like the best solution today. He went extra hard in the gym, pushing himself more, & then some. Letting his irritation be sucked out through sweat and sore muscles.

He was extra feisty in training, didn’t joke around & was super competitive in duels, earning all the applause of the coaching staff and some jeers from his teammates.

Cama and Vini teased him about his new girlfriend who he was apparently smitten by - the article was splashed all over social media by now. He evaded them after engaging in some superficial locker room banter.

Still no reply from her, even though she had seen the first message. 

Jude: (Link) - This is what I was referring to. Like I said, it’s bull. How’s your day going?

When the messages were still unread after 2 hours, he started getting jittery. And did something he wouldn’t have done had he been thinking with a clear head.

He called her, knowing fully well she was dying at work today.

The number was unreachable. He tried again. Same message.

The jitters got stronger. Of the zillion things he was capable of doing to mess this up, this shouldn’t have been it.

It was one of those moments when the house looked emptier. Felt lonelier. He missed his home in Birmingham. He wished his mom were here with him.

She had called him earlier today to check on him, & could tell something was off in his voice. She didn’t push, knowing that he wanted to be left to his own devices.

Boy, he could do with her hug right now.

It was 8:30 pm. He had done everything he could for the day. There was nothing else to busy himself with. His friends from the team were all otherwise occupied tonight. He had no other real, normal friends in the city - ones he trusted/liked enough to hang out with. 

He didn’t wanna talk to his Birmingham friends either - didn’t wanna bring up the article or the match. Wanted to block those out. Jobe was busy with his training too. 

So he gulped his dinner while watching some random episodes of The Great British Bake Off. Something that used to be a family ritual back home.

Still no word from her. It was 10 pm.

It wasn’t fair. He hated feeling this restless. That’s why he stayed away from the complications of attachments - too much fucking drama that he absolutely didn’t need in his life right now. As if the pressures on him weren’t enough already.

His treacherous messed up self didn’t comply with his brain though.

Jude: Don’t overthink this. Talk to me once.

10:30 pm. Still nothing. 

He was about to get up from his couch & drag himself to bed, when he saw the blue ticks started coming on her chat. She hadn’t blocked him then?

He grabbed his phone & dialled her number, shoving his pride aside. She picked up in two rings.

‘Heyyyy Judeyyy.’

She slurred on the line. Jude was stunned. Was this for real? 

He channelled all his inner calmness - wanting to get the facts first.

‘Ananya - are you drunk?’

‘Siiii. We just downed half a bottle of tequila in three sixty minutes. No thirty-six. I meant thirty-six mins.’

He took a few deep breaths, as she giggled on the line. 

‘Tell me where you are. I am picking you up.’

‘I am in a moving car - how will you pick me up from a moving car?’

‘What the fuck do you mean you are in a car? Who are you with? And why the fuck are you drinking in a car?’

He lost his patience despite his best efforts.

‘Yikes why the screaming? Hurting my ears Jude. So rude. Heyyy, that rhymed.’

He nearly pulled out a few of his flawlessly trimmed hair in frustration. When he spoke next, he broke up each word like he was talking to a child.

‘One step at a time yeah? Send me your live location.’

She managed to do that after a few failed attempts. Relief flooded over him when he saw she wasn’t too far from her home & on the right route.

‘Good girl. Now, are you alone, or is someone with you?’

‘I am in a limo. A black limo. Like in the movies. Can you believe it?’

‘That’s great. Not what I asked though. Is someone with you, Ananya?’

‘Roma. But she’s passed out. Wait let me see again? Yup - passed out.’

‘Was it such a smart thing to drink so much that you pass out in the back of a car? When you are alone?’

‘Hey, she passed out. Not me. Pls - my capacity is legendary. Ask me the square root of 1576 & I'll tell you.’

He was amused but had to remind himself that he was still mad. 

‘Where were you today?’

Somehow, from her broken sentences, he gathered that the MD of their team lived on the outskirts of Madrid and there was a presentation of the final work at his mansion today. It was his limos that were dropping the team home. And the girls found the tequila in the car & just went for it after the grueling last 48 hours of work.

He also understood that her phone was on airplane mode most of the day. So she hadn’t seen his messages. Hadn’t seen the article either. 

Suddenly, there was some commotion on the line.

‘Roma is hitting me to talk to you. Putting you on speaker.’

‘Heyyy lover boyyyy - finally.’

This time he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

‘Well hello to you too.’

‘You should know that you owe me. I convinced Ananya to go to the match. And, most importantly, I convinced her to GO WITH YOU after the match.’

‘Oh, I thought she came because of me. How sad.’

‘A little coz of you. But mostly it was me.’

‘I see. Then I definitely owe you one, Roma.’

‘Remember that when I ask for signed jerseys of the WHOLE TEAM. And Zidane. And of course our one true love Ronaldo.’

‘Ahh you too.’

‘Of course, we share a common love. But Ananya loves him more.’

‘Believe me, I know.’

The car swerved to their street soon after, stopping outside their apartment building.

‘Girls, focus now, ya? - watch your step, go inside, lock the door. Ananya - call me after. I am waiting.’

‘Sir yes sir.’

‘Byeee lover boyyyyy.’

Jude groaned as they hung up - staring at the phone for it to ring again. Praying that they don’t trip & fall on their assess. 

The wait was excruciating. He got to his room, changed into his sleeping shorts, paced around, still nothing. How fuckin irresponsible. Finally, after 13 long mins, she called.

‘What took you so long?’

‘Code wasn’t working. Had to call neighbors to buzz us in.’

‘Wasn’t working or you forgot it?’

‘Pretty sure it wasn’t working.’

He shook his head & let it go, understanding how it was a lost cause. 

Then he started blurting out some instructions to her like ‘re-check the door’, ‘grab some water’, ‘tell me you ate something before drinking’ etc.

Ananya followed them diligently, and the slurring reduced as the liqueur settled down. Still quite out of it, but he could hear the girl he knew in there.

Knowing she was safe now, his mood improved, and her antics even started looking cute. 

‘Facetime?’

It felt like forever since he had seen her last. Held her last. 

When he finally laid eyes on her, all his frustration & anxiety of last two days started to evaporate.

‘Hey you.’

She waved back happily, snuggled into her pillow, still in her work clothes. All dopey from the alcohol. 

‘If I fall asleep on you tonight, don’t take it personally. Haven’t slept in 2 days.’

‘But you kicked ass though didn’t ya? 

Her face brightened, despite the exhaustion.

‘Kinda did.’

‘Knew it. Proud of ya.’

He really was. She could tell. She was starting to learn how to read his bright, expressive, goofy eyes. Tonight, they were deep & sincere. And a little anxious.

‘How’s your mood now?’

20 minutes ago he would have had a very different answer. 

‘Now? All fine, dove.’

She was about to tease him, call him cheesy & sickly sweet but he doubled down with his big brown doe eyes.

‘Missed you.’

Again, the sincerity hit her square in her heart. Throwing her off guard. He seemed different tonight. Vulnerable. The trademark blend of cocky flair & casual nonchalance not at the forefront. 

‘Missed you too.’

She sighed, as her eyes fluttered shut. Not that she had had much time for any active thought the last few days. But seeing him like this just reminded her how much she was looking forward to meeting him last night.

As she gathered herself, he took in her surroundings. The baby pink pillows amused him the most; somehow he hadn’t associated that with her. 

‘Can’t believe this is how I get to see your bedroom. On FaceTime.’

He didn't realize he had said it out loud. She giggled at his groans, batting her eyelashes at him. The vixen.

‘Yeah? What else did you have in mind?’

Jude shifted uncomfortably in the sheets. 

‘Don’t tease. Not tonight.’

‘When’s a good time, then?’

‘When I am in touching distance of you, tease away, by all means.’

‘I am not stupid, Jude.’

‘Never thought you were, dove.’

Challenging each other was kind of becoming their thing. Neither liked backing down & both loved the dynamic.

But she was tired. Ready to drop dead anytime.

‘Gimme 2. Need to change out of these.’

‘Cool, I’ll stay here.’

She placed the phone on the bed. Then, on second thoughts, she covered the phone with her blanket. Suddenly, his screen was filled with baby pandas.

‘Seriously? I was facing the ceiling, what was I gonna see?’

‘Don’t trust you & your peripheral vision.’

Jude groaned audibly, facing the disorienting pandas, starting to seriously dislike the otherwise adorable creatures.

He could hear her bouncing around her room, humming something in a foreign tongue, heels clicking on the floor. Still quite buzzed, clearly.

And then, a loud thump.

‘What happened? You ok?’

‘Zipper got stuck in heels. Knocked over a carton. Am fine.’

Jude turned & buried his face in the pillow, trying very hard to drown out the thoughts of what she was doing right now.

He couldn’t afford to let himself wander, since they hadn’t yet discussed the matter at hand.

But it was hard, he nearly bit the pillow to rein himself in. 

That’s how she found him when she returned in her tank top. The same one she had on that night, when he kissed her. Great.

‘What’s with you?’

She eyed him curiously, and he recovered quickly, game face back on.

‘Need to talk about something.’

‘Go on.’

Something had shifted in the environment. In him. Putting her on the edge.

Ripping off the band-aid quickly seemed like the best strategy to him.

‘A tabloid piece came out today about me & a girl, saying she is my girlfriend and we have been dating for 2 months. Which is not true. Never dated her. No idea how they came up with this. Wanted to give you a heads-up. Sent you the link in chat earlier today.’

He got it all out quickly. Then zeroed in on her face to gauge her reaction.

Her face had hardened like she was preparing for something unpleasant. Expressions too neutral, too blank for his liking. Almost cold. A more agitated reaction would have been less unsettling.

Ananya had a feeling it was something like this. The shield was up. Plus she was too spent to give any kind of outward reaction. 

She replayed his words in her head, and read through the article, while he waited patiently.

Her insta feed was also full of this now. This was everywhere. She found the ID of the woman and clicked on her profile.

‘She is pretty.’

This was not the first thing he had expected to hear. But he had the good sense to know that no response was the best response. Both confirmation and denial would have been scoffed at. 

‘You say you didn’t date her, but you do know her, right? Didn’t hear you deny that.’

Her tone was matter-of-fact, business-like. As if she was slicing & dicing a work project.

‘Yes. I do.’

‘Elaborate.’

‘Met her through insta. Liked some pics of each other. Chatted on DM. Then, met in person. Once.’

‘When?’

‘Two months ago.’

So the article had gotten at least something right.

‘Slept with her?’

Both were surprised by her cutting to the chase like this. The alcohol had lowered her inhibitions significantly plus she wasn't in the mood to entertain any nonsense.

‘Yes.’

‘Why only once?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Why not again? She is pretty.’

‘Umm…she is not from here.’

That wasn’t a good answer, he knew it the moment he said it. It wasn’t the complete truth either. But the damage was done.

‘Any exchanges after?’

‘Not from me.’

The unsaid hung heavily in the air. She chose to not address it. 

Mindlessly, she kept scrolling through the girl’s profile and the details in the article, not wanting to say anything more immediately. Not wanting to look at him, while his eyes were glued to her face throughout. 

Eventually, he couldn’t handle the silence & spoke softly.

‘Remember, this was in the past. Nothing has happened since we met. Nothing will happen.’

The deep baritone was back, trying to lull her into a sense of security. 

She smiled wryly. If only it were that simple to believe. If only her mind was not filled with images of him frolicking at his home with this woman, as was so definitively stated in the article. 

He felt the chasm widening between them, pulling her further away.

Some core truths, albeit crude, needed to be said out loud now. 

‘Ananya - I’ve never lied to you. Never not answered anything you threw my way. Never painted a false picture of my lifestyle. We’ve discussed these encounters before. Yes this put a face to it & I get it’s hard. But that doesn’t change the fact that I was single, and both consenting adults always knew it was just sex, nothing more.’

Her eyes shot up at him at the last line, which he was expecting. But he stood his ground.

‘I can see you are judging me hard, and them too. Look…’

She cut him off sharply.

‘THEM? Who are they to me? Why should I judge women I don’t know anything about?’

‘And me?’

‘YOU? I am TRYING to understand you. Your DECISIONS. It is NOT EASY. Not something I ever imagined dealing with.’

‘I get it.’

He really did. She didn’t hear what he said though, still stuck on his previous words.

‘And THEM? Seriously how many are there? How many such GIRLFRIENDS should I be prepared for?’

He blanked & panicked simultaneously. How was he supposed to answer that? Thankfully, she intervened.

‘You know what? Scratch that. Don’t answer that, I don’t ever wanna know. I don’t care.’

She jerked her face away, trying to compose herself.

But he couldn’t stop staring at her. The usually calm, jovial features a picture of irritation & exhaustion right now. The need to hold her close & comfort her paralyzed him.

‘Can we do this in person? I can be there in 20-25 mins.’

‘NO.’

It was a firm, decisive no. Leaving no scope for discussion. He figured it was also her showing him he wasn’t just gonna get his way with her, that she wasn’t like the others. 

But he knew that already. That’s what had fascinated him so about her. She was unlike anyone he had been with before. How he wished she could see that too.

For the first time, the silence between them was not comfortable. Or comforting. 

The silence was interrupted by constant pings on her phone - two calls followed by a few messages. He saw her eyes go wide as she focused on the screen.

It was 12 am. Jude had a sinking feeling who it could be from. Last two days, he had really behaved himself. Despite knowing she would have spent every waking minute at work around that insufferable colleague of hers. Sticking to her like a leech. Pinging her at odd times. 

But, in a grand display of restraint, Jude hadn't uttered a word to her. It was her work after all. 

‘Jude I’m gonna need two mins.’

She muttered urgently, getting up from the bed.

‘I will stay online if that’s ok.’

‘Fine.’

She was already out the door, leaving the phone, leaving him behind.

Jude found himself facing the ceiling of her room again. Seriously, what the fuck just happened? Could this day get any more rotten?

She returned in a minute. He could hear her but not see her yet. Bile rose in his throat when he realised who she was talking to.

‘Hey Arjun, yes I found it. It’s with me now. Thank you so much for letting me know, this could have gone anywhere. You are a lifesaver.’

A pause for a few seconds, in which Jude plotted getting that cockroach permanently banned from the Bernabeu (Ananya had mentioned how big a fan he was), and then her voice again. Filled with genuine gratitude. Jude wanted to puke. 

‘Yeah all good, thanks again. Good night, see you tmrw.’

If her intent was to hurt Jude, then someone should hand her the Balon d’or immediately.

Ananya hung up, came back to the bed, and realized her phone was not on mute. She couldn’t find it in herself to care though, not right now.

‘All ok?’

Jude would have put monks to shame at the evenness he was able to muster in his voice.

‘Roma was drunk-texting on our work group. Some questionable stuff. Hv deleted the texts, will keep her phone tonight. Glad Arjun alerted me.’

And just like that, evenness went out the window. Replaced with sarcasm, laced with disdain.

‘How sweet of him, what a gentleman.’

Ananya turned the full force of her glare at Jude, which he met head on. Fire dancing in both their eyes. 

‘Would you GROW UP? Not everything is about you. And yes, he IS a gentleman. Your petulance will not change that.’

‘A FUCKIN TWAT is what he is. Always interrupting us. Always trying to cozy up to you. Even when he doesn’t have a shot. Classic small-dick energy. Quite fuckin LITERALLY in his case.’

Ananya could punch him through the screen. The insufferable, entitled, derisive prick that he was being. So full of himself. He needed to be put in his place. 

‘Yeah? Maybe I should verify that.’

The bodyblow landed as intended. Making him double over with pain.

Jude felt like someone had kicked him in the gut and in the nuts at the same time. His throat went dry and his hands turned clammy.

The numbness hitting his brain, then his body. The rage dissipated & he realised he didn’t have a leg to stand on, given how they had gotten here tonight.

Plus she would never do the thing she hates the most. She would never cheat, he was convinced.

His tone went down several notches, as did his attitude.

‘I know you are angry. I know you didn’t mean it.’

‘Oh no - I really do want..’

‘ANANYA PLEASE. Please. Slap me if you want to, smack me all that you like but NOT THIS. Please.’

The distress in his choked voice made her stop. Knocking the fight out of her. 

Her voice lost its edge, coming out in a whisper.

‘A hypothetical scenario broke you. Whereas….you…..you have actually..’

She didn’t finish the sentence. But the message was well understood.

‘I know it’s unfair. Even hypocritical of me. But I can’t help it. Can’t handle even the idea of you with anyone else. I want all of you. All for me. All the time. I’d go nuts otherwise I swear.’

This moment, she saw a young, sensitive, insecure boy in Jude, not the mature, articulate, sorted, in-control grown man known to the world. 

She found it strangely healing; a distinct warmth seeping into her skin and settling into the pit of her stomach. 

It was 12:30. Two emotionally charged hours they had spent on the phone. Dead tired from work. Yet, the idea of hanging up & calling it a night never occurred to either. 

Just then, her doorbell rang, making her jump.

‘Don’t be alarmed. Answer it.’

She eyed him curiously, checking his background again. He was still in his bed. 

‘What did you do now?’

‘Answer the door & you’ll see.’

Huffing, she got out of bed & walked out. Leaving him facing the ceiling again. Third time that night.

When she came back, he finally saw a ghost of a smile on her lips. And the light returned to her gorgeous soft eyes.

She was still gazing at the bouquet, stroking & smelling with contentment.

‘White Tulips for dove. Thought it’d be fitting.’

‘Jude.’

She sighed deeply, and buried her head in the flowers, letting the strong scent drown her senses.

This was never going to be easy, she knew that from the start. But every time she got wobbly, he steadied her. Every time doubts pulled her away, he clawed his way back to her. Lack of effort was definitely not something she could hold against him. 

Maybe he means what he says. Maybe it is different for him this time.

She turned to look at his smiling face, still leaning on the flowers.

‘How did you even find these in the middle of the night?’

‘To be fair I ordered them in the evening, when I thought you blocked me.’

‘Blocked you?’

He just shrugged in response. Slightly embarrassed but trying to not show it.

She laughed at the absurdity of it all, and he finally let go too, letting himself relax. The sound of his little giggles bounced on her ears, doing things to her.

‘You are such a loon.’

‘Wanna be your loon.’

She was starting to melt now and wanted to arrest the fall. So she switched gears.

‘Tell me - what was the plan if I had blocked you?’

There had to be a plan. He wasn’t the kind to take things lying down. 

‘Cheesecake & churros from our cafe tmrw morning. Along with a letter stating how a 20-year-old boy has the same psychological maturity as a 15-year-old girl. Therefore you should cut me some slack given women are far smarter biologically and also coz you are you. I’m not saying it, science is. Facts.’

‘Reallyyyyy? So a 20 yr old boy lacks psychological maturity, but somehow that’s not a problem when he fucks half the world with impunity? What does science say about that? No disadvantage there?’

Jude’s mouth opened and closed like a fish, still trying to process how his attempted humour had backfired in about 50,000 ways.

To his credit, he recovered fast.

‘See? A smart person would not have walked into that hole like I did. Exhibit A of how dumb I am. This just proves my point.’

‘How come the world fawns over your intelligence & maturity then?

‘They don’t know me. It’s a scam. Trent says I should still be in diapers. He said that to Jobe once & the little scoundrel agreed.'

He had done it again. Pacified her without her even realising. Yeah, she wasn’t buying the dumb act. This boy knew his power & used it unabashedly, to his full advantage.

It was 1 am. She yawned while checking the time & Jude suddenly got hit by pangs of guilt.

He would let her go soon, just needed to hear one thing.

‘We ok? 

He barely blinked till she responded.

‘I guess so.’

She shrugged, realising she wasn’t mad anymore.

He figured that’s the best he would get tonight. But soon, when they are together, he’ll make up for this mess.

It was time to let her get some well deserved rest.

Jude leaned in, eyes firmly locked into hers, and kissed his phone screen. He had never done that for another girl before. But this one, she made him do this twice in a span of 2 days.

She followed his movement closely, meeting his gaze. Somehow feeling his lips brush her skin. 

‘End my misery and meet me soon?’

She nodded, and he flashed her a trademark ear-to-ear Jude smile. Crinkling eyes n all. Making her heart leap in her chest. 

‘Now go, get some rest. And since you won’t let me come over, hug the flowers instead when you sleep tonight. You’ll feel me around.’

‘Bye Jude.’

‘Bye dove.’

Goes without saying, she did hug the flowers as she slept that night. 

...............................................................................................

This chapter was very different in my head when I posted the previous one. But then, stuff happened the last few days & I felt like writing about it.

As always, would love to hear your thoughts / comments / feedback. Hope you are liking the story & these two, lots more to come :)

[sunny-ssunset]

Honest south park dating headcanons🔥💯

dividers by pinterest

♡Im writing so much bc i literally have nothing else to do so enjoy 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯

♡Anyways honest headcanons about how i think the main 4 would act in a relationship with you (all aged up) mostly gender neutral but there is like mentions of boobies :)

TW Mentions of s*x, dr*gs and v*mit

Stan

•Honestly you wouldnt have to put much effort in to get with him

•Mother fuckers desprate for love

•Hes actually a bit of a wreck once you date him

•Crying because he is scared you'll leave him

•You are defo a rebound

•To be fair he'd start to fall for you though

•And because of that he'd throw up all over you

•He'd break up with you if wendy said she missed him

•In his eyes theres always someone better

•And im sorry but he moves on fast

•If wendy breaks up with him again though

•Expect a drunk call at 3 am saying how much he misses you and how he fucked up and if you can get back together

•Its your choice if you get back with him though lmao

Kyle

•He is extremely awkward

•Kyle has high ass standards so when he sees someone that meets those standards he'll fall hard

•This man cannot talk to people he likes

•If he doesnt like you he is the rizziest rizzler ever

•And 0 rizz if he does lmao

•He'd start SWEATING

•He would be stumpted for words

•Then when you leave he'd blame someone else for 'fucking up his chance'

•If however you did start dating him (god knows how)

•He'll probably dump you over the smallest thing

•If you vape or smoke though its a big no no

•And like you would argue over the smallest thing

•He'd rant and rant and rant and rant about something cartman did that day

•Probably would put work or school before you

•He forgets your his s/o sometimes

•He'll treat you like a therapist

•However he is really fucking good in bed 😩😏

Cartman

•This man would always be looking out for no. 1

•Genuinely would not give a fuck about you until you show any value to him

•Kyle has a s/o? DAMN GUESS WHO ALSO HAS ONE NOW

•Always trying to prove he is better than everyone else (especially kyle)

•He listens to alpha male podcasts

•Andrew tate supporter

•To be honest despite him also being plus sized

•He wont date someone who is also plus sized

•Its because andrew tate said he can do better

•He is delusional and doesnt believe you when you say he is fat

•Its apparently just baby fat

•He would let you in on his schemes and let you tag along but would also throw you under the bus and say it was all your idea if he gets caught

•Manipulative as fuck

•Would get pissy if you said no to anything he asks you

•He'd leave you because "He can do better"

Kenny

•He fucking stinks

•Its either he'll stink of zaza or just plain stinkyness

•He like never showers even when he had the opportunity to

•He'll have a huge crush on you and you'll find out through other kids

•Cartman probably spread it around

•He'll always be staring at your boobs or ass

•Says word like "GYATT DAMN" "WHAT THE SIGMA"

•He doesnt have tiktok only youtube shorts

•Has a shitty cracked iphone 6 in rose gold with no case

•He'll be very loyal like he would never get with someone else

•However always staring at someone elses boobs or ass if not yours

•Will compare you to 'attractive celebrities'

•Hes done many many dr*gs

•Him and his mates probably made a list of all the hottest people in the school (god knows where you are on it)

•He has no rizz at all because hes extremely shy

•Probably only got with you bc of how big your gyatt was

•Hes always really h*rny

dividers by @k1ssyoursister

[tennessoui]

Congratulations on getting into grad school!!! YAY! 🎉 Same anon who read through all the KUSWK tags backwards lol. I almost never read incomplete fics because my adhd could never handle, but I ended up reading a more perfect union and just... 🥹🥹🥹 I now just need Vos to show up and for Anakin to throw the biggest hissy fit in the entire galactic realm while padme makes the am I a joke to you face (sorry padme) I am refreshing your ao3 page approximately once every 8 seconds not even kidding

ahhh thank you for taking a chance on this wip!! i am not where i want to be on the progress, but hey, it's the holidays--i still want to get this finished in december, so i'm doing a lot of writing on my phone during family time lol - here's a little bit of the beginning of the next chapter, ft. a lot of anakin being pissy but unable to understand why he's so upset

Padmé’s frown deepens. Her eyes are kind still and soft, but she looks confused and wary in her confusion. “Perhaps…” she says this carefully, drawing out the syllables like she is wrestling with herself already. She rests her hand on Anakin’s chest and takes several steps closer until she must peer up at him from under her eyelashes. “Perhaps it is for the better.” “What.” “Not that Master Kenobi is apparently—upset with you,” she is quick to add, splaying her fingers out and stroking down his skin. She has started to wear her wedding band. It flashes bright silver in the morning light. It had been her mother’s, thank the Force that they’d given Padmé a set of heirloom rings, given that Anakin had had no idea where to go for that sort of thing. Nor the funds to purchase them. He hadn’t even known what sort of jewelry Padmé preferred to wear, gold or silver. Apparently these things are important. “He has locked—” “The Jedi Council has given you leave to be my husband openly,” Padmé interrupts. Her voice is laced with steel, impatience hardening into something like ire. “You could move here, you should move here! I’m sorry that Master Kenobi’s actions have hurt you, and you will need to clear the air with him, make sure his upset was temporary. I know how…important he is to you—but perhaps we can look at this situation as for the better. The impetus you needed to make this change.” Anakin blinks rapidly, head spinning. His caf had been too strong this morning—he’d been unused to Padmé’s machine, added too many grounds or used the wrong setting. “Move here?” he repeats, eyebrows furrowing automatically.  “You already spend at least half your nights on Coruscant here,” Padmé points out, her tone level but with some strange and unrecognizable note to it. “I am simply asking for a wife’s due—that you spend all your nights with me.” “I…you know I spend most of my time aboard star destroyers, angel,” Anakin looks away, cutting his eyes to that damned vase behind the damned couch.

[tarisilmarwen]

Ahsoka "The Jedi, The Witch, and The Warlord" Liveblog

Woo boy, there were certainly some Choices in this.

Yeah yeah, I'm late and spoilered to hell I know, look, I have been Going Through It out in realspace and my priority has been finishing Whumptober fics, cut me some slack.

Anyway.

Lars Mikkelson continuing to crush it as Thrawn.

"Even I fell victim to the... heroics of a single Jedi." Looooooool another bit for my collection of Pissy!Thrawn moments.

We're not going to get an explanation for why the Nightsisters and Thrawn are so tight, are we?

Morgan looks a little bit trepidacious about all of this ha ha.

All right, a point in this show's favor, this look at Nightsister rituals and culture is interesting.

And the flaming sword is cool, I'll admit.

Ngl, the editing really needs to be tightened up in this scene, we really only needed the one or two establishing shots before cutting into the interior.

Eman continues to be the perfect Ezra. I love him. 10/10 no complaints.

Ngl, this is sweet on the surface that Ezra's new saber has pieces of Kanan's buuuuuuuut *waves Green Saber Ezra Supremacy flag*.

Sabine, let him borrow y'all's lightsaber and YOU build a new one.

Ah goody, an Exposition Reveal.

-_-

This... doesn't actually explain Baylan's "Your family is dead because your Master didn't trust you." line btw. JUST SAYING.

I don't even know what the narrative wants anymore re. Sabine's choice to gamble Thrawn's return for Ezra.

Aaaand please not to be reminding me of the Wrong Jedi arc kthnx.

Oh good an action scene.

Ezra and Ahsoka being cool Jedi together, nice. Could be more emphasized and staged even more coolly tho.

Well poop, I guess that's the reason why we had to risk stowing away on Thrawn's ship.

Oh good! This holomap thing is exactly the kind of plot device I actually needed for one of my Sabezra Week fills.

Lol Thrawn be taking NO chances lololol.

Oh hello finally some of Thrawn's theme in the score here. Thrawn using the men's loyalty and fanaticism towards him personally to achieve his goals, fits the culty vibes, sure.

I am liiiiiviiiiiiiiiiiing for the subtle nervousness in Ezra's voice when talking about Thrawn finding the Dathomir castle and waking the witches. PLEASE CAN I HAVE A THOUSAND WHUMP AND ANGST FICS ABOUT THE IN-BETWEEN BEFORE EZRA'S ESCAPE FROM THE CHIMAERA?

His arms are so comfortably around Sabine awwwwww.

Thrawn be all srs bznss and I'm loving it.

Yeah no, Jedi!Sabine is REJECTED, she did not have any kind of necessary mental or emotional breakthrough, she wasn't shown calming her mind properly, sorry Dave THE LEGWORK AIN'T THERE, Imma fix this to be Ahsoka in the inevitable rewrite/fixfic that I've apparently decided I'm doing.

Oh Ahsoka is helping too, well I'm still not having Sabine be able to do it.

HAAAAAAAAAA THAT PISSED LOOK OF THRAWN'S OH MAN THE SNARLING LIP CURL, THE RAGE, YES PLEASE MORE.

The struggle to recompose himself OH MAN.

This is peak Mirrorverse!Thrawn and I'm here for it. I love seeing my headcanons playing out onscreen.

Aaaaaand this would have been the perfect scene to have Ezra and Sabine sharing the Our Lightsaber, meanwhile Sabine should be fully kitted out Mando style.

*simmers*

STAGE THIS DIFFERENTLY SO THAT SABINE'S BESKAR IS NOT CONSTANTLY LITERAL PLOT ARMOR PLEASE.

Aahhhhhhh Ezra my love! <3

Should have either let him use the Our Lightsaber or continued with the Force martial arts though, pick a lane. Or have a conversation about why they need to actually get him another saber.

Eman is... waaaaaaay better at this than Rosario, sad to say, lol.

Look at him GO THERE'S MY BOY.

I love him.

Oh what are we doing now?

Ohhhhh the zombie!troopers!

Lol Ezra must have left before the Nightsisters could show Thrawn their zombie techniques.

Eman makes this look flawless, I am in love.

Battle Couple Sabezra moment, awww.

"I missed you."

FAKSJHFAKJFHHKKHHHFHFH OKAY DEAD.

DEAD AND DECEASED.

LIKE THE ZOMBIES LOL.

Aaaaaaaaand I'm gonna adjust this in the fixfic, because right now it looks like they were waiting to actually dock.

And my typing is being slowed down hang on a second.

Still dumb.

Okay back.

Thrawn basically telling Morgan, "Right, so you're going to have to go fight the Rebels and stall die for me, mmkay?"

She's looking like she might regret all of this now lolol.

I do like how the finale is making it very very easy for me to fix later lol.

Like here. Morgan should have attempted to stop Ezra and Sabine. Just a small attempt, and then blocked by Ahsoka, and Ezra and Sabine run around and outmaneuver them.

BATTLE COUPLE SABEZRA. :D

Aaaaand final trailer shot accounted for.

Okay, can there be a little more effort on the choreography there please?

Oh no Sabine, EZRA SAVE HER.

Or we could retcon Sabine into actually legitimately being Force Sensitive and have her pull the Our Lightsaber.

SIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHH.

*grumbles, takes down notes about how to fix this in my rewrite*

Oh come on Ezra, you can jump that.

Catch me melting at the sheer and utter trust Ezra has in Sabine's abilities.

(But also, screw this, she's getting a jetpack in the rewrite.)

Aaaaaaaaaand I do hate that they got separated again, screwing alllllll of that.

Nice of the troopers to just politely stop shooting.

Yeah so, this is basically gonna be a 1 v 100 for Ahsoka when I rewrite it, let my girl have a hard fought climactic battle, she can take it.

"Your friends are dead." Uhhhh nah they ain't what does this bit of dialogue even connect to?

Lol Ezra gets to put on the big boy stormtrooper armor.

The vaaaaaaaaaguely panicky twitches that Thrawn has here. A+, excellent, no notes.

No kill like overkill LOLOLOL.

Thrawn, internally: Shitshitshitshitshitshitshiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Ah Thrawn is going to try Break Them By Talking. Ezra tanked this let's see if Ahsoka can do the same.

Nope, she's Affected.

Aaaaaand he out.

Bye Thrawn!

Hmmmmgh, yeah no, because in my rewrite I'm axing the entirety of Sabine actually becoming a Jedi it's going to be better that she goes with Ezra on the Eye of Sion instead of stays with Ahsoka, if she stayed a Jedi then yes that's what the conclusion should have been that makes narrative sense now that I see it.

But also again, I Do Not Like That Plot Point so--*grumblegrumble mumble*

Hi Morai!

Bandit queen Shin? I could dig it.

Baylan chilling with Mortis god statues.

I STILL DO NOT SEE ANY SOLID EVIDENCE THEY'RE GONNA DO ABELOTH GUYS, SORRY.

And Thrawn is setting up base on Dathomir. Lol wait til he finds out that there's basically nothing there anymore lololol.

Those uh... those be a lotta dead troopers. Probably most of the Chimaera crew.

...Cripes did they die naturally, did Ezra kill them, or did Thrawn pull some kind of Jonestown thing in order to enact his eventual revenge?

Oh maaaaan what if it's that last one, that would fit with the cult-like chanting in his intro omgghghhhggkajsfkjh.

Frick man, Thrawn fixing to unleash an undead army on the GFFA that can really only be taken out by lightsabers.

Oh come on, you're telling me Ezra was on the Eye and didn't pull some last minute shenanigans before he left?

Didn't screw Thrawn over one last time for nostalgia's sake?

(He and Sabine are blowing up some engines before they skedaddle, in the fixfic.)

HERA AND EZRA SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALLOWED A HUG, FILONI.

The attempt at bookends here is cute but no. LET HERA HUG HER SON.

THIS DOESN'T EVEN REALLY WORK AS A BOOKEND.

YES THE PART WHERE CHOPPER RECOGNIZES HIM IS CUTE BUT THIS IS WASTED DRAMA. THERE'S NO REASON FOR THIS.

LET HERA HUG HER SOOOOOOONNNN.

This whole scene just doesn't work because we're trying to shoehorn it into being a bookend for the opening, it doesn't wooooooooooorrrrrk.

THEY SHOULD HAVE HUGGED.

*furiously taking down notes on how to rewrite this scene*

*grumbling*

Blah blah Sabine can feel Anakin there but Ahsoka can't? blah blah blah.

Aaaaaaand closing us out with "As The Sun Sails And The Moon Walks"

Well.

Where do I begin?

Okay so... final verdict... I DO actually like this show.

THAT BEING SAID.

There was soooooooo much about the execution and so many of the narrative choices that I just NEEDED to be better and it frustrates me. Because this show by all rights should have been a spectacular emotional thrill ride like Kenobi and it just wasn't.

A lot of the problems and nitpicks I had with Kenobi are exacerbated here, especially under Filoni's brand of, "I didn't care for what Lucas did with the Prequels, here let me fix it." NO FILONI IT DIDN'T NEED FIXING IT WAS FINE! HOW THE FORCE WORKED WAS FINE! THE JEDI WERE FINE!

But there's such GOOD STUFF in here that I can't discount it all fully like I can with the Sequel Trilogy. (Which, believe me, I have attempted to workshop and fixfic but ultimately gave up on.) The purrgil lore! The Ancient Dathomiri! Another galaxy! Whatever Baylan was up to! Sabezra being adorable! Thrawn!

Soooooo yeah, basically join me sometime in the future for when I inevitably create a fixfic AU for this show like I did for Aldnoah.Zero because unfortunately I can't give up on this show I need to fix it, just hand me the characters and story and I can fix it.

Can't do much for the camerawork, choreography, and occasional stiff acting (Not you Eman, Natasha, Ray, Evan, and Lars, you're all great.) but I can at least salvage that part lol.

Ultimately... mid. Excellent premise and cool concepts brought down by subpar execution and some frankly baffling narrative decisions. But gimme like a week and I will workshop a Fanon AU that I can be completely happy with.

Hopefully we get a Season Two? Maybe? Or resolve everything in the Mandoverse movie?

Peace out, y'all.

[tobiasdrake]

To Marunomon District. Investigation team, away!

Yeah, my dude. What did you think "flooded" meant? This is why I've been talking about Icardi being the only person who can navigate this space conveniently under these conditions.

Though my eye is currently being drawn to that big-ass life raft. Not necessarily relevant to our case; A lot of people would have had to evacuate, and anyone could have left this behind. But it sure is convenient that it's lying here.

But if it is relevant to our case, then that would be a strike against Icardi being our culprit. Icardi wouldn't need this.

No, Bestie, that's not--

...hold up. Hey! I promised you the ocean. This is not it, but it is a large body of water accumulating under the rainfall. So we're like halfway there.

Ocean's way more majestic, though. You'll see it one of these days. Unless all of the Master Detectives die in the final ac, which is still highly plausible.

That checks out. Kurumi knows what's up. So that means we have little to fear from corpo-cops ruining our investigative good time.

Sometimes video games throw lines in just for the sake of blowing smoke up the player's ass. People will like your game more if it stops to tell them that they're the most special person ever.

No, ladies, I am not amazing. I am slowly navigating these treacherous waters because I do not, in fact, know how to pilot this boat. At least not comfortably. And I am also crashing us into everything that's blue (which is a lot) and jamming the A button repeatedly. Because the Vivia Bauble "Floating Peacefully" is definitely talking about this place.

We are slowly and clunkily making our way to our destination while slamming into objects on purpose and jerking around wildly. These are not 'You are so amazing, I love your boating skills!" conditions.

That's not the same safe. Though she couldn't open it, Kurumi confirmed that the Resistance safe is still in their command center. But we sure do recognize that design, don't we?

...hey. Uh. Amaterasu? The fuck are your safes made of, that allows them to float? Cardboard? That thing's supposed to be thick, heavy steel. It should sink like a rock.

What? No. That can't possibly be....

*google*

...fucking hell, reality is weird. Apparently air is supremely strong. Way stronger than metal.

Okay. Point to Kurumi. I was pissy about her solo investigation but now I am so glad she's here because I would have read that situation completely wrong without her. I learned something today.

Thank you so much and I'm sorry for making fun of your crush.

That's super interesting, now that you mention it. The flooding seems to be coming from the hydro-electric plant but it's not interfering with the plant's ability to generate electricity and power the city. The central hydro-electric mechanisms seem to still be functioning despite the flood.

We all should, Bestie. It's inspirational if you think about it.

I know! I know. ._. Calling me right the fuck out. I'm sorry, okay?

[gregoftom]

dfhgjd I decided to rewatch the suits pilot after sending that marvey ask and got jumpscared by my girl Karolina!!!! sweetie hiiiii. I think she's only in the pilot but omg I didn't Know it was her. (and lawrence too! but karolina <3)

also I forgot it's actually a really solid pilot?? AND I didn't realise the fucking. harvey being pissy that mike's "playing footsie" with a paralegal and then harvey immediately next scene being like I wasn't gonna let you come to court with me "but then I thought it'd be cruel not to let you witness my greatness" was in the pilot and that's soooo tomgreg 3x7 ken's birthday coded when tom's jealous of greg going after comfrey and then being like "I'm enjoying very much thinking about myself and my own various skills and abilities" like. it's so. 'I'm great look at me and how amazing I am. not her.' (and in that courtroom scene mike has his hand on his mouth just like greg would sdfhhjk)

and also. I swear. harvey's so bi coded. from "if that's too pansy for you" at the beginning; to using two men in an analogy about a sexual relationship and basically being like 'why not? the uniform's a turn on'; to, listen, him and his suit guy have fucked, okay, I'm e x t r a p o l a t i n g, what with the suit guy's reaction and it also being stated harvey's fucked his female PI, too, and is obviously promiscuous and able to "close" anyone. and. like. the double meaning of continuing to flatter his female boss by answering "really hot" to a question he's apparently not listening to but that Question was how his new associate's working out, so like, it's as if he's actually calling mike really hot.

and omg the adoration of his new Play Thing (mike) in this episode ALONE. he finds him so funnnn already (dodging the bullet scene my beloved <3) and he's already fucking possessive of him! and proud! and the fucking. pats. he loves this boyyyyy. (and this boy is playing back!!!)

sorry for coming into your ask box ranting about a ship that's not yours dgfhjs and there's absolutely no pressure to watch at all (I Can shut up) But I just Know you could eat this up so deliciously and tear up any drop of subtext and all the little moments sgfhj from the way you talk about tomgreg

marvey and tomgreg are truly holding hands I think they should double date <3 and maybe hire them

oh my goooood!!! that sounds so good!!! no no don’t shut up please!!! when i watch it i can liveblog it, if you want 🥰 i will absolutely do that i love to analyse stuff like that so much!! YES gawd i agree <3

[cecilsucksass]

ok so. i have a certain people list with certain people and if i dont talk to somebody on that list for at least 5 minutes every couple hours i go insane. anyways, i was joking around with two people on my certain people list and i was oh. cool. we started doing a bit. we continued with this bit for a while. eventually, somebody NOT ON MY CERTAIN PEOPLE LIST comes up and is like "uhmm what the fuck." i try to explain that it is a bit while still being in bit mode. more people not on my certain people list show up. we include them in the bit. because we dont like to exclude people around here. these assholes. they're like "what are you talking about..." so i give them context. they play intot he bit for like 2 seconds. and then one of them says "ok stop it this is super annoying." their buddies follow. "this shit is so corny" "im sorry its actually really annoying" "guys she said stop" so im like. alright. sure. fine. ill stop. one of my certain people come back. they have did. they switched. they are like "what is going on i just got here." i do the bit. once. to kind of vaguely explain it to them without actually explaining. because that would be funny, right? apparently not. one of this guys goons says "DUDE SHE SAID STOP." and they just repeat that. for like 2 minutes. the certain person is like "sorry i guess i switched and wanted to know what was going on??" theyre like "yeah but we said stop." ok dude. we stop. i have not heard from my certain people in like. 30 minutes since these cornballs arrive. im screaming internally. i explain my certain people system and say that i am heading to dream land instead to kind of vaguely say i do not like these people. cool. they say alright. cool. they probably do not like me either then. i dont speak to these people. they dont speak to me. i dont particularly care about shit like that. awesome. i come back for a minute to rant about a paranoia hallucination thing i had. nobody had said anything in like 10 minutes. i go surely either one of my certain people or one of these guys i dont like will say something. and even if they dont. i dont really care that much. this motherfucker comes back to reply to something somebody said 10 MINUTES AGO and then doesnt say anything. and they continue their past conversation. am i an asshole? or am i just autistic? i dont care at this point.

TLDR: some assholes i barely even know called our bit stupid and then completely ignored my paranoia hallucination shit and now im pissy about it.

[my-evil-brain]

I'm so tired of all of this it's not even funny.

It's 2024, and i was promised a bright technological safer better than the past world. Instead, i live through a world of greedy, power-hungry, mean uncaring, ignorant assholes and fuckwads. Growing up was tough enough dealing with 12 years of pokes and jabs, and no one was listening or paying attention. Then suddenly, I'm an adult, and zero shits changed. In fact, it's worse. Now im 40s, friendless , depressed and lonely. I always thought i had friends. But they all proved themselves not even worthy and worthless. I can't even trust people to confide in or be a friend anymore. They all either have ghosted me, lied, cheated, or stolen. I could never share feelings and deep thoughts because so far, so-called friends always used the info to take jabs against me as a joke or not caring in general. Not that people have ever truly listened to me anyway. That always pisses me off. Decades of repeating myself over and over, and eventually, when I'd get upset about it even a little, im being an asshole and unreasonable. My best friend from grade school, I don't even want to know anymore. I'm sick to death of his misogyny and drunkenness hitting on women I'd liked. His knack for insulting every woman I've been with ( to fat, bossy, ugly for his taste) plus how he treats the women he's been with. Blaming everything on his drinking (A.A. is lame so..no). I left for Tennessee after an awful break-up years ago. Everyone I knew ghosted me years ago. It started with them or me asking how things were going. After i responded, days, weeks, months before a response. Which was usually a "how's it going " text. Eventually, i stopped trying, and nobody even noticed. I've had one good friend visit me out here. After 2016 he gets pissy at our friend group because he can't take the trump bitching and hes got a gf he's got better things to do. So that whole dichotomy broke apart. Fuck, my own fucking parents only visited twice in 13 yrs....11 yrs ago. Then suddenly moms sick and 6 months later shed dead. I say suddenly but she just didn't go to the doctor and 2 yrs later the pain was so bad she couldn't take it and that's how we found out she had stage 4 cancer (it wasn't stage 1 when she found out). Surprise motherfucker! I'm so fucking tired of not being able to trust anyone and being the weirdo because my intrests aren't sports and hunting and other perceived manly things along with misogyny and loving a lieing rapest facist traitorous fraud who was president. So sorry I'm into philosophy and art and science and history and the paranormal and freedom to be and not facism. That excludes me from so many anythings when I'm around people. Not that I want to be around that, but its so fucking lonely a way to exist. It's depressing as fucking hell. And yes I've done something about that after 2020 broke me. I even tried therapy. That was useless. The doctor kept insisting I'm not acknowledging some trauma in my childhood at home. When I clearly stated what was bothering me. 12 yrs in public school, nobody listening to me when I speak, and everyone proving to be untrustworthy and mean dicks. It's not that I'm suicidal, I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to participate in any of this worlds bullshit and that's all the world is now. I'm watching the environment colapse, the poor get poorer the rich n politicians not giving a fuck and hatred and greed everywhere. And I get laughed at and dismissed by all around me all the time everywhere I've been, because I'm apparently stupid for believing it's that bad. It is that bad, its worse. The bad is totally out pacing the good in life. I just want everyone to feel as hurt as i am as pained as i am, but that's wrong. So i play nice dont jab back and be just as petty. On the off chance i do, or at least stand up for something, I'm suddenly a problem, and I'm inappropriate. Everyone else, perfectly fine when they do the same. I'm so fucking tired of all these people, this world, being ignored, not being considered, the greed n hatred. It's god damn depressing and lonely as fuck.

FML

[deviantartdramahub]

Sooo, just coming back again real quick bc Tri alerted me I've been name-dropped. https://www.deviantart.com/ron-fnf/status-update/The-fluctuation-of-posts-after-1047546425

Just gonna copy-paste my response I messaged her, and give some additional thoughts after. Anyways here's what I said to Tri: "Hellpp the fact his salty ass is clinging on desperately to this stupid drama and isn't even making any sense, then tells me to get a life? Lmaoo what a loser, I don't even post in the group much anymore."

So yeah, I'm not really able to make much commentary out of his post besides that bc I'm missing context and/or Ron's going on some short, insane vague-ramble just spouting out salty insults bc the minor he wanted to harass blocked him MONTHS AGO. Don't know who I'm kidding, bc it's obvious the latter is the case, but it could very well also be the former, so who knows.

So yeah as I said, I don't even post here anymore, so why are you calling me out of all people? I mean, I'm glad no other person really has to deal with your BS, but you really that salty, sweetie? You support that buried-in-the-ground troll group who's desperately trying to crawl out of their grave, but can't handle me standing up for myself? Or me laughing at the pathetic absurdness of Mod-S's latest post? Why of course ya do hon, you're a brain-washed attack-dog devoted to your master, and will blindly attack anyone she does, despite the fact she apparently no longer has time for any of you sorry asses. That's WHY I don't post much in the group anymore! because she abandoned you guys, and is pretty much no longer making any posts for me to call out, lmaoo!

Anyways I'm gonna go back to chilling and doing my own thing as Ron foams at the mouth and seethes at the fact I'm not letting myself be a voiceless victim. And it'd be greatly appreciated if someone tells me about whenever this loser name-drops me again, because no way in Hell am I gonna obsessively check his account 24/7 to see for myself. :3

(And if anyone's curious, I simply logged out of DA to be able to look at his post. But Ron deary, don't try getting all pissy about that and accuse me of harassment or block-evading, or whatever-the-fuck, since you're the one who name-dropped someone who blocked you in the first place! ^w^

The sad probability is they're likely acting on association.

[kingofanemptyworld]

I can't wait for Sukuna to tell Nobara soon at 3 am

Itadori, already in the kitchen with his bowl of soggy cereal because apparently even switching bodies doesn’t make sleeping come any easier: What happened to you?

Nobara, eyes bloodshot, looking more than a little feral, pink hair a mess, pajamas askew: Your parasite is a goddamn asshole

Sukuna, speaking from the mouth that appears on Nobara’s cheek: When I take over the brat’s body for good, you’re next on my list, right after the Six Eyes fool

Nobara, so far past fear she’s circled back to pissy anger: Where’s my hammer

Itadori: …yeah he does this, sorry, should’ve warned you

[mariana-oconnor]

OK, I've done it. I've reached beyond the point in BG3 where I was in my first game.

But I've got a question about after the tiefling party. Spoilers under the cut.

We did the tiefling party, I was unnecessarily horny with the wizard because my only other option was diminishing his relationship with Tara and I would not do that. She's clearly his best friend, I'm not going to call her 'just an animal companion,' excuse me. So sure, I guess my Tav is just that forward when she's had a drink.

I may also have accidentally flirted with Halsin because apparently thinking it's funny that he'd sing and declare his love for people means I now have a dialogue option about hoping I didn't come on too hard last night... Whoops? Sorry? I don't consider that coming onto someone. There should be tone indicators.

None of this is the question. The question concerns goblins.

Because now I am wondering a thing because I didn't get this far last time. So... I killed the three leaders, then I immediately went to camp and then fast travelled to the grove. BUT when I go back to the goblin camp to search for the Nightsong are the goblins still going to be there and angry at me? The ones in the Blighted Village are still there, but they still seem pretty chill. I guess no one told them I murdered the cult leaders?

(Also, people who were saying how you should put your ranged fighters in the rafters for the Dror Ragzlin fight were absolutely right. I managed to pick off literally everyone in that room other than Dror himself without everyone even joining the battle. Gale just firebolted them into oblivion and no one even noticed him? Genuinely he was MVP of that fight. Still not sure that wasn't a bug because Astarion got dragged into initiative after his first kill. Sure, Gale was pissy about all the stealthing and the heights, but sometimes when you're a squishy wizard with low HP you've got to be practical about these things.)

But yeah

tl;dr now there's maybe still an entire camp of goblins who are maybe kind of mad at me and I need to get back in there at some point? So are they still there? Am I going to have to clear them out anyway?

[lukeevangelista]

hiii hope you're having a good day/night, I was wondering if you could do one request based with the song stay stay stay by taylor with jack Hughes? 🥺 Lots of love and good vibes ❤️

hi baby, i’m so sorry for the delay for this!! thank u for being so understanding! but at last, it is finished and here you go!! if you don’t like it, please message me and we’ll get it rewrote!! 🤍🤍

PLEASE DO NOT FORGET MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

———————————————————————————

“i’m pretty sure we almost broke up last night.” you said as you took a bite of the pasta you had ordered. you were currently at dinner with a couple of the other girls.

you laughed as you watched nico’s girlfriend choke on her bread, “wait what?” she asked, all the eyes going to you causing you to shrug, “no ma’am. you don’t get to blurt that out and not explain.”

“i saw some stuff.. on my phone about him. i got pissy with him and i might have tossed my phone at the wall.” you said, holding up your newly cracked phone, “i couldn’t help but be upset. he doesn’t understand how it is to be his girlfriend when he has so many female followers.”

a couple of the girls nodded, clearly understanding your frustration, “did he stay?”

“he did. he never left. he slept on the couch after i suggested we should talk about it later.” you started, “ya know, because apparently you’re not supposed to leave a fight unresolved, according to something jack read. he literally refused to leave. i told him to go stay with ty, but he refused.” he continued, “but he did come in wearing his helmet.” you laughed, “i guess he thought i was going to throw something else this morning.”

the girls let out a chuckle at this as you told the story of that morning.

————

“i’m not leaving!” jack shouted at you as you tried to shove him out of your apartment, “i’m not leaving this unresolved and i’m damn sure not going to bed with you angry at me baby.” he said as he crossed over to you.

“jack, shut the hell up.” you whispered as you finally had enough of him talking before you let out a scream, tossing your phone at the wall, “why did i have to fall in love with you?” you asked as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

“i don’t know baby.” he whispered as he fell to his knees in front of you, “but i am glad you did.” he admitted.

“you know, I’ve only ever dated manipulated assholes before you, someone who took their anger and frustrations out on me.” you admitted to him, “i expected the same from you, but its so different. like i feel like you could never hurt me.” you started, “like my god, you carry my backpack and my damn groceries in, just so i don’t break a nail.” you laughed, “and that. you always have some sort of joke to keep me smiling and laughing and i just don’t understand. i don’t understand how you stayed with someone like me.”

“well baby, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i think you’re the funniest when you’re upset with me, even though you hate it. and i hate it too, but god, you’re the cutest and i can’t help but love you all the time. you took the time to live out my fear, hopes, and dreams with me and i couldn’t thank you enough for that.” he said as he pulled you into his chest.

“no one will ever love me like you do.” you stated, “no one.”

“i’ve been loving you for quite some time now and i don’t plan on stopping anytime soon.”

“i think it would be best if you stayed.”

“glad were on the same page baby.”

—————

you had finished explaining the fight before showing off your left hand, the new jewelry adorning your ring finger.

“oh my god, he didn’t!” they squealed as mile’s girlfriend grabbed your hand, her eyes scanning over the rock, “it’s beautiful.”

“he did such a good job!”

“definitely a keeper!”

“i one hundred percent agree.” you smiled, “even though we were upset with each other, he never left and that made me realize i never want him to leave, even if i’m the maddest i could ever be at him.”

it didn’t take long for you to start into the proposal and how it all went down.

———

“baby, look at me.” he whispered, lifting your chin up to look at him, “i need to talk to you.” he said as he stood up, pulling you up with him.

you watched as his eyes scanned your flushed face. you had calmed down after your fight, but jack knew how to push your buttons and he had caused your blood pressure to rise.

he let out a laugh before cupping your cheeks in his hands, “god, you’re the cutest.” he grinned.

“stop.” you muttered, placing your hands on his wrists, holding on.

“i can’t,” he started as he took a step back, “i really hope you’ll let me do that forever because i want to do that as long as were both alive.” he stated as he knelt down, “y/n, I’ve been in love with you for a long time now and some how, you agreed to be my girlfriend, which the boys still don’t know how i managed that,” he joked, “its like you said, no one will ever love me or understand me like you do. i’ve been loving you for a while now and i want to do it forever.” he continued as he stuck his hand in his pocket, pulling out a navy blue velvet box, opening it to reveal a gorgeous ring, “will you marry me?” he asked as he watched your face change through the emotions.

“yes.”

[phoebe-delia]

could u write a drarry oneshot inspired by sweet creature of harry styles? :)

Hello Nonnie! I absolutely can. This is a great suggestion, I love this song for Drarry. I hope you enjoy it. Warnings: injury, drinking, attempted sexual assault that is VERY QUICKLY STOPPED and NOT H/D!!! Thank you to @apr1cots for the beta!

3 Times Harry Brought Draco Home...+1 Time Draco Brought Harry Home

1.

The first time, Harry found him in the cafe near their flat.

He sat down in the chair across from Draco, who glared at him over his cup of tea. "I thought I told you not to follow me."

"I waited three hours. I figured that would be enough time for you to come to your senses, but you didn't come back, so I got worried."

"I can handle myself, thanks."

"I know you can. But you didn't tell me where you went."

Draco's eyes flashed. "That was for a reason, you imbecile."

Harry shook his head. "Flatmates don't do that—disappear for three hours after a fight without saying where they’ve gone."

"I'm an adult. And you're not my father or my boyfriend, so back off."

"No, but I am your friend. And your flatmate. And I don't want to be worried sick for three hours when you fuck off to Merlin knows where because you're feeling pissy!" Harry snapped, letting his anger creep into his voice.

Draco sighed. He took a moment to sip his tea, and then he looked at Harry. "I'll tell you what. If we fight, and I don't return, send an owl, Floo or contact you in some way within six hours, you can send out a bloody search party."

Harry shook his head. “I will give you three hours.”

“Five”

“Three and a half.”

“Four and a half.”

“Four is my final offer.”

Draco scoffed. “Is that so? What are you going to do, show up with half the Auror department?”

Harry pursed his lips. “Not if I don’t have to. But I would.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“Care to find out?”

“You’re mental.”

“Maybe,” Harry shrugged. “Trouble is, I don’t care. Now, will you be here for a while, or are you coming home with me?”

“I suppose I'll go, but only since I've already finished my tea,” Draco said with another sigh, which Harry ignored as they both rose from their seats. While they walked to the Apparition point together, Harry replayed in his mind the flicker of emotion on Draco’s face when he said “home.”

2.

The second time, Harry’s glass nearly shattered in his hand from how firmly he was gripping it.

He ignored Hermione’s knowing gaze and Ron’s eye roll as he unabashedly stared daggers at the bloke practically groping Draco at the bar. Harry saw Draco’s eyes widen imperceptibly, noticed his smile falter and his cheekbone twitch.

Yes, he observed this from across the room. You get to know a bloke after living with him for almost a year; besides, Harry was very perceptive—constant vigilance and all that.

Speaking of being an Auror, Harry was pretty sure this prick was breaking some sort of public indecency laws by the way he was sliding his hand further and further up Draco’s leg. Draco gently pried the man’s hand from his thigh, only for the stranger to laugh and reach over again, gripping it even more firmly.

Harry didn’t think beyond getting up from his seat and striding toward the bar, quickening his pace when he saw Draco’s eyes widen in panic. He barely registered the look of horror on the stranger’s face when he grabbed the hand gripping Draco’s thigh and pinned the man face-down on the bar.

“He said no,” Harry said through clenched teeth, ignoring the man’s grunts and protests.

“We were just talking!” The man sputtered, his cheek pressed against the counter as he twisted and wriggled to get free.

Harry tightened his grip. “Conversation’s over. If I catch you trying to ‘talk’ to him again, I’ll make sure you have a nice chat with the Wizengamot about sexual assault. Now, apologize.”

“But—”

“Apologize!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry.”

Harry smirked. “Good.” He released the man’s arm and let him right himself. The man froze, looking between Harry and Draco expectantly.

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Leave. Now.”

The man nodded, scurrying out of the now silent bar, the bell attached to the door tinkling behind him.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know.” Draco’s face was blank other than a raised eyebrow.

Harry shrugged. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not. But I am glad you’re okay. You are, right? He didn’t hurt you?” Harry’s chest tightened at the suggestion.

But Draco shook his head. “No, I’m fine. But I think that’s my sign to head home.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m fine to Floo.”

“I want to.”

“What about your friends?”

Harry cringed and turned back to face the table to see Ron and Hermione looking at him, expressions full of nausea and amusement, respectively. He held up a hand in a small wave. Hermione shook her head and smiled fondly.

Harry grinned and turned back to Draco. “They’ll be alright without me. C’mon, let’s go home. I’ll make us some tea, yeah?”

Draco hesitated at first, but he nodded. And if Harry let his hand linger lightly on Draco’s back when they headed toward the Floo, they could both chalk it up to a safety measure.

3.

The door to Pansy Parkinson’s flat swung open before Harry could knock.

She took one look at him and rolled her eyes. “Could you have taken any longer to get here?”

Harry bristled. “I was—”

“Don’t care. Get in here, he’s on my couch.” She turned and walked away purposefully, and Harry trailed behind her.

“I thought you two were just going for drinks?”

Pansy sighed. “We were, but then we came back here for a few more, and he got into my tequila when my back was turned.” She shook her head. “Tequila is his one weakness—well,” she smirked. “One of them, anyway.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth to respond when a shout sounded from the living room.

He looked over to see Draco sprawled across the couch, an empty glass in one hand and the other nearly touching the floor, his leather-clad legs spread wide.

Draco grinned at Harry. “Harrryyy!!! Come to join the party?”

“He’s come to end it, more like,” Pansy crossed her arms. “It’s time for you to go home, love.”

Draco let out a high, keening whine and burrowed himself further into the couch. “Don’ wanna. Tired. Stay here.”

“No, Draco, we’ve got to go home,” Harry walked up to the couch. His breath caught when gray eyes blinked wide and pleadingly up at him.

Draco held out his arms. “Up.”

“Er, what?”

Draco jerked his arms up and down, keeping them in the air. “Up! Help me up, you great oaf!”

Harry sighed and bent down, taking Draco in his arms and nearly stumbling when the blond let his body weight fall into him.

Draco smirked lazily. “Oops,” he said with a grin in his voice. “Guess you gotta carry me.”

Harry scoffed, looking to Pansy for appeal.

She waved a hand dismissively. “He’s your problem, now. Just get him out of my flat and back home intact, will you?” She didn’t wait for him to respond, walking away into another room.

Harry sighed. He wasn’t sure about the safety of Apparating or taking the Floo with someone in your arms, and the twists and turns of the Knight Bus could make a sober person sick up. With a grunt, he hoisted Draco up and into his arms bridal style, and the other man yelped and then giggled wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck.

“Home,” Draco said softly, and affection spread through Harry’s chest.

“Okay, Draco,” Harry whispered as they made their way out of the flat. “I’ve got you.”

+1.

Harry woke to the sound of muffled voices shouting at each other and the constant beep of a monitor.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, wincing as a sharp pain exploded in his side with the effort. Memories came rushing back: the raid, turning his back for a split second to shout something at Ron, blinding pain, then darkness. He tried to sit up in the hospital bed, but he let himself lie back down when his side throbbed once more.

Suddenly, the door was opened and then promptly slammed shut. “Honestly, the nerve of these people. If he needs bed rest, then where is better than his own bed? Is my Healer degree rendered meaningless the moment I’m off the clock?” Draco muttered, running a hand through his hair as he paced the room angrily.

“Draco?”

Draco jumped and turned to Harry with wild, startled eyes that made Harry laugh, and then wince in pain.

“You’re awake, thank Merlin,” Draco approached the side of the bed, relief replacing the shock on his face.

“How long have I been out?”

“Two days. You were hit with a rare curse that caused an ever-bleeding wound in your side, and the healers had to put you in a magically induced coma to reverse it.”

“That sounds good. Do Robards and—”

“Yes, Ron gave Robards the full briefing. You’re not expected in the office until a Healer permits it.”

“So, can I go home?”

“Yes, now that you’re awake, you can go home. I’ll monitor you from there.”

Harry frowned. “You don’t have to.”

Draco let out a short, humorless chuckle. “You were in a coma for two days, Harry. The only reason they’re discharging you is that you’re going home with a Healer.”

“But you don’t actually have to stay and watch me all day, right?”

“What part of ‘I’ll monitor you from there’ don’t you understand?”

“But I’m fi-!” The last word was cut off as Harry hissed through another spark of pain.

“Fine, are you?”

“Shut up.”

Draco smirked. “Not likely.”

Harry scowled, eliciting a real laugh from Draco, who moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Flatmates don’t do this, y’know.”

Draco’s eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“Take several days off of work to care for the other when they’re injured. I’m not even sure friends do that.”

Harry noticed Draco’s jaw tighten. He ached to reach up and relax it with a gentle touch, but he kept his hand at his side.

“What are you saying, Harry?” Draco asked, his voice low and even.

“I’ll tell you what,” Harry swallowed. “I won’t argue about you wasting days away from work if you let me take you to dinner when I’ve recovered.”

The beginning of a smile curved Draco’s lips. “And what will we do in the meantime?”

Harry waggled his eyebrows. “I can think of a few ways to pass the time.”

Draco chuckled. “If you think I’m missing work just so you wind up back in here because you restarted bleeding during sex, you’ve another thing coming.”

Harry pouted halfheartedly. “Apparently I won’t be coming at all.”

Draco mimicked his petulant frown. “Aww, ickle Harry, being waited on for days by his flatmate-turned-boyfriend.”

“I’ll tell you what—”

“Didn’t we already make a deal?”

“I’ll tell you what: I won’t argue about you missing work or not having sex until I’m recovered if you let me take you to dinner once I’m healed and if we can snog as much as we like.”

"What makes you think I’ll agree to those terms?”

Harry shrugged. “If you don’t like those terms, I can come up with more. Now that I’m on bed rest, I’ve got plenty of time to think.”

“You’re not supposed to strain yourself,” Draco smirked when Harry glared at him.

Harry huffed. “You need to work on your bedside manner, Healer Malfoy.”

“I’ll get plenty of practice this week, then, won’t I?”

“Yes, you will. Now, can we get out of here? I want to start my healing regimen right away.”

Draco laughed and laced their fingers together. “Alright, Harry. Let’s go home.”

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[southsidestory]

Can't Afford Love on Minimum Wage

"Do you have lavender-infused non-dairy macrobiotic sorbet?"

Sasuke felt his left eye twitch. "All sorbet is non-dairy. That's what makes it sorbet."

The customer flipped her long, blonde dreads over her shoulder, which disrupted the dreamcatcher resting on her pale forehead. "Whatever. Do you have it or not?"

Sasuke pointed toward the blackboard behind him. "Is it on the menu?"

Cultural Appropriation Barbie's eyes narrowed. "Shouldn't you know what's on the menu?"

"I do."

He could recite all twenty-six ice creams listed on the board, along with their primary ingredients, any allergens, a short description of their flavor profiles, and suggestions for which ones paired together best. Sakura had drilled all of that info into his head during his first two days at Jeni's.

Sasuke really wished he could go back to memorizing flavor facts.

"Then why are you asking me what's on it?"

"Because apparently you didn't read it," Sasuke said.

The customer gaped. "Where's your manag—?"

Sakura swooped in before she could get the question out and said, "Hi, I'm the shift leader! I think what Sasuke is trying to say is that we have some great options you might like. For a similar flavor, we have a wildberry lavender ice cream—"

"I don't condone enslaving cows for their milk."

Sasuke gestured toward the end of the freezer. "How do you feel about goats? We've got a goat cheese one down there."

"Sasuke, why don't you take your break?" Sakura said brightly.

"Sure."

As he headed toward the back, he heard Sakura describing their newest vegan flavor, a refreshing, bright sangria-style frosé sorbet, made with pear, strawberry, and watermelon.

Sasuke took a seat on a cardboard box filled with jars of fudge, butterscotch, and caramel sauce. He checked his phone. Only one message. From Naruto, naturally.

Good luck on your first day dealing with people. Try not to get fired this time lol

Sasuke could hear Sakura telling the vegan customer that her four-scoop cone and a pint of frosé sorbet were on the house and that she was very sorry about the employee who had been so rude.

"He's still in training."

Might have fucked that up already.

Dude. You've only been there three days 😂

Shut up

Do you know what macrobiotic means?

Macrobiotic? I think that's like the stuff they give you when you get syphilis

Sasuke rubbed his eyes. He must have gone temporarily insane to think Naruto would know the meaning of a word with more than three syllables.

That's penicillin you moron, a kind of *anti*biotics

"What the hell was that?" Sakura asked.

Gtg get fired ttyl

Sasuke put his phone in his pocket. "Sorry. Guess that was a little rude."

"A little? I'd hate to see your version of being very rude."

Sasuke waited for the verdict. On the one hand, Sakura was only a shift leader, not a manager, so she might not have the power to fire him. On the other, this was his third strike in as many days, so he had to be on thin ice.

Sakura ran a hand through her chin-length pink hair, and he had the stupidest thought: her hair is the same color as the frosé sorbet.

"You obviously need some guidance on how to give quality customer service. Have you ever worked at a place like this before?"

Sasuke had spent the last five years caught in a revolving door of food service and retail jobs. So he wasn't being entirely honest when he said, "A couple times, yeah."

"Okay, well, whoever trained you before must not have done a very good job," Sakura said. "I'll try to teach you how to deal with difficult customers with more… grace. And patience. And better manners. And—"

"I get it. I suck with customers. Can't you just stick me on the waffle cone station or make me clean shit?"

"As often as I possibly can," Sakura said flatly. "But sometimes you're going to have to scoop or run register, and your pissy attitude will break the tip jar. Half the money I make here is in tips, and I am so not letting you gut my paycheck."

"Wait, what? Half?" Sasuke asked. "You make seven bucks an hour in tips just for scooping ice cream?"

Sakura smirked. "Closer to ten, actually. And I make good tips because of my excellent customer service skills. Watch and learn, unless you want to live off minimum wage."

He could more than double his paycheck by being nicer to customers?

"Okay. I'm all yours." Sasuke held out his hands. "Teach me how to not be an asshole."

Sakura hid her smile behind her hand, giggling. Damn, her laugh was as pretty as the rest of her.

"I don't make any promises to improve your personality," she said, her voice teasing. "But I'll teach you how to fake it."

Sasuke doubted that. Chances were, he'd cuss out an annoying customer before the end of the week and be job searching again by Monday.

Until then, at least Sakura would keep him company.

.

.

Author's Notes: Here's a sneak peek at my SasuSaku romcom! Yes, you read that right, I'm writing comedy. It's based on an absolutely hysterical tiktok by Scott Seiss (which I'll link to in a reblog later, bc for some reason tumblr hates links). Many thanks to @birkastan2018 for inspiring the first line of this fic! And this is entirely @toondoon1010's fault for giving me the idea for this story.