#i am ... having some thoughts right now who knows if i will ever make them coherent

[ariestrxsh]

dealer!chris x dealer!reader

💸 content warning: smut/angst (in later chapters; this one's mostly just suggestive), mentions of hard drugs and guns, enemies to lovers, slow burn

💸 summary: you and chris spend the night hanging out on his roof after your first day of making sales together.

there will be several parts to this story, and they will contain sex, drugs, violence, use of weapons, and a lot of things that could be triggering if you've ever been apart of the drug world or loved someone with an addiction. i don't mean to glorify drug use, selling, or anything like that, but i wanted this story to be realistic, so it does appear like a somewhat "glamorous" lifestyle to chris and the reader in the first few parts. i want to make it very clear that when you get involved in the drug world in real life, you usually end up in one of two places: the ground or prison.

WHEN SPARKS FLY

chapters: | intro | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

The sun sank slowly below the skyline, and the evening turned to nightfall as you and Chris finished up your last deal of the day. You'd been showing him all the stops, introducing him to your customers, and teaching him the way you did everything.

He got into your passenger seat and sighed as his head fell against the headrest, really wishing he had a joint right about now. "Damn, ma. I can't believe how much money we made today," Chris mumbled, slouching down into his seat. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the wad of cash he'd made for the day.

"I know, and we're only a third of the way through the product," you smiled back, doing the math in your head about the potential profit. "I could never work a 9 to 5," Chris sighed, sifting through the $100 bills. "Can't believe I just made in a day what it would take some sucker to make in two weeks at some office job."

You fastened your seatbelt and turned the key in the ignition, admiring Chris, who brought his fingers to his lips and slowly licked them as he separated the crisp hundreds. "What are you thinking about, ma? My tongue or my fingers?" Chris flirted, catching you staring out of the corner of his eye and giving you a seductive smirk as he ran his tongue along the pads of his fingers again, flitting through his money.

You squeezed your thighs together as you bit down on your lip. For a moment, you were thinking about both at the same time. You hated the effect he had on you, the way he knew how to get inside your head, intrude on your thoughts, and invade your sexual fantasies. "You're fucking gross, Chris," you replied, rolling your eyes and trying to hide how turned on you were.

He responded with a chuckle, knowing that he was getting to you even if you wanted to deny it. "So, am I dropping you off at your girlfriend's house?" You asked, reminding him that he had one. "Nah, can you drop me off at my place? I'm staying home tonight," Chris requested. "I can do that. Just tell me where to go," you replied, your eyes darting around between the road in front of you, your side mirrors, and your rearview.

"So, have you told Daisy yet?" You asked, your gaze flickering over at Chris, who was shaking his head. "I'll tell her, ma, when I'm ready," Chris grumbled. He knew you were right. He knew he had some things to work out, like telling his girlfriend the real way he made his money or dealing with the fact that he was finding himself sexually attracted to his new business partner. He stole another glance at you from your passenger seat as the fantasy he'd had the night before flashed through his mind, praying you wouldn't notice the tent forming in his jeans.

When you pulled into Chris' driveway, he thanked you again for the ride. "I can't believe I've been sober for eight hours," Chris mentioned, bouncing his leg as you parked. "No wonder you've been so uptight today," you teased him. "Maybe you should come smoke with me since you're always uptight," Chris smirked, nudging you in the arm with his elbow, but his offer was genuine.

You gave him an annoyed look, but you couldn't hold back the smile that spread across your lips. "I don't smoke weed, Chris. I haven't since I was a teenager," you replied, fidgeting with the material of your black steering wheel cover. "Why not?" Chris wondered, surprised by your admission. "I like being clear-headed. I don't like feeling out of control," you shrugged.

"We're on a floating rock in space, ma. The idea that you have control over anything is an illusion," Chris laughed, reaching for his door handle. "C'mon. Come inside. Do you drink? I've got a beer with your name on it if you wanna hang out with me for a little."

You were quiet for a second. It wasn't often that people invited you to hang out or just do something fun with them, and for a moment, you thought maybe you could use it. "I could stay for one beer," you responded hesitantly, nervously rubbing the back of your neck. "That's what I'm talking about, ma. Let your hair down once in a while," Chris replied, beaming with a smile.

You trailed behind him, staring down at your shoes as you followed the pattern of the stepping stones that led to his front door. "Oh, shit. I forgot my house key at Daisy's place," he sighed, running his finger through his hair. You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. "Do you need me to take you to Daisy's place after all?" You huffed, slightly annoyed at the situation.

"Nah, it wouldn't do any good anyways. She's at work. Plus, this won't take long," Chris said, pulling a pin out of his pocket and fiddling with the lock. You nervously looked around, worried someone was going to see him picking his lock and call the cops or something, but in a matter of seconds, you heard a click, and you watched as he turned the knob. His door creaked open, and he glanced back at you with a mischevious smile.

"Okay, now you're just showing off," you replied, raising an eyebrow. "What can I say, ma? I'm good with my hands. Gotta show you my skillset somehow," Chris playfully winked at you. You scoffed, biting back a smile. A part of you liked the way he couldn't keep himself from making sexual innuendos and flirting with you.

"If you need me to pick a lock on a deal, though, you're splitting the money 50/50 with me," Chris told you, stepping into his living room. "What kind of shady shit do you think I'm up to, Chris? I'm just selling coke. Not robbing people," you joked, following him in. "You never know," Chris peeked back at you over his shoulder with a smirk on his face.

"This is it," he announced, raising his arms to present his place to you. It was a dimly-lit, relatively small place, but it had a safe, cozy vibe to it. "I like it," you told him, your eyes scanning them room. You noticed his sprouting marijuana plants in the corner sitting beneath his grow lights and an old shelf beside it that was littered with comic books and novels you'd never heard of.

His house faintly smelled of weed and sandalwood, like how Chris always smelled, and you found the familiar scent comforting as it wafted through the air. He directed you over towards his couch and motioned for you to sit. You sat down, awkwardly perching at the edge of the couch cushion.

"C'mon, ma. You can relax. Kick your feet up," he told you, heading over towards his fridge to give you that beer he promised you. You exhaled and slowly leaned back into his sofa that was much softer than you imagined it would be. Chris twisted the cap off the bottle and handed it to you. The red and white label that read Stella Artois stared back at you, and you hesitantly reached out and took it.

Chris plopped down on the couch beside you, and you watched as he sprinkled a bit of ground weed into his rolling paper. You peered down at his rings and his fingers at the way they skillfully handled the joint, tucking the paper in and folding it in on itself.

His gaze flickered up at you as his tongue darted out, and he licked a long, slow stripe across the edge of the joint. His lips curled into a suggestive smile as he noticed you watching him, but you acted unamused, pulling your eyes away from his. You held the bottle up to your lips, taking a small, refreshing sip, the bubbles fizzing against your tongue as you relaxed further into the comfy couch.

You peered down the hall to an open door at the end. The room was dark, but you imagined it was probably Chris' bedroom. You found yourself wondering what it looked like, how comfortable his bed was, and how hard it would be for you to keep your hands off of him if you ever found yourself alone with him in there.

"You coming?" Chris asked, pulling you out of your thoughts and standing to his feet as soon as you'd gotten comfortable. "Coming where?" You wondered, giving him a perplexed look. "To the roof. The view's great up there," Chris responded, making his way towards the back door.

You hesitantly followed him back out into the cool air of the backyard where he had a ladder propped up against the side of his house. "C'mon, ma. I'll hold your beer. You start climbing the ladder," Chris told you, extending his arm to take your bottle from you. "Yep. Just smoking and drinking on a roof. What could possibly go wrong?" You muttered under your breath as you wrapped your fingers around the cold, metal rungs.

"Don't worry, ma. I'll be right behind you, so if you fall, I'll catch you," Chris' breath tickled your neck as he pressed his warm body into yours. Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. It was the closest you'd ever been to him. You were just glad you were faced away from him, so he couldn't see the unmistakable look of desire written in your expression as heat radiated off his skin.

You cleared your throat and regained your composure. "Is that your gun, or are you just happy to see me?" You snarked at him, peering over your shoulder in an attempt to take control of the situation again. Chris chuckled, but he didn't answer you, leaving it up for interpretation. You started to hesitantly climb the ladder, and Chris followed closely behind, keeping his promise to not let you fall as he held your beer in one hand and the unlit joint between his lips.

The two of you made it to the roof, and Chris handed you your beer once the two of you got settled. The star-filled sky hung overhead as you looked out at the horizon. You saw the tops of the other houses, the city lights scattered across the skyline, and the waves crashing on the beach shore off in the far distance. You brought your bottle of Stella Artois up to your lips and took another sip as you took in the view. There was something about this perspective that made your problems feel smaller and less pressing.

"Pretty cool, isn't it, ma?" Chris asked beside you as you heard the flick of his lighter sound as he held the flame up to the end of his joint. You quietly nodded, surprised by how much you could see from Chris' roof. "So, ma. What do you say we get to know each other better and play your favorite game, twenty questions?" Chris smiled over at you with the lit joint pinched between his two fingers.

You rolled your eyes, but you didn't have an excuse this time. There was no work to be done, and there was nowhere to go to avoid his questioning, so you took a deep breath and another swig of your drink. "Okay, fine. Hit me," you finally replied after a moment of hesitancy.

"Where do you go to clear your mind?" Chris wondered, his gaze locked on you. "The beach. I like the waves. The sounds of the seagulls. Feeling the sand between my toes. It's peaceful," you shrugged. Even though the question wasn't a very personal one, you felt vulnerable answering.

"What about you, Chris?" You wondered aloud. "You're looking at it," Chris said with his joint tucked between his lips. He didn't need to explain anything further. You could tell why this was the place he went to sort out his thoughts.

"Alright. What kind of music do you listen to?" You blurted out, not sure of what to ask him next. "Anything, really. But I prefer indie over everything else," he told you. "Okay, play me your favorite song," you told him, gesturing towards his phone he had sitting beside him. He picked it up, staring back at you as he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he responded, scrolling through the saved albums on his phone until he came across AM by Arctic Monkeys. No. 1 Party Anthem started playing through the speaker of his phone, and you nodded in approval as the melody filled the space between you.

"If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose?" Chris asked, turning off his phone screen and letting the song play softly in the background of your conversation. You thought about it for a moment. "See, I wanna say Pablo Escobar or something, but I think I'd want to have dinner with one of those druglords who flew under the radar so well that we don't even know their names," you replied. "Damn, ma. That's a good answer," Chris mumbled with the joint hanging from his lips.

He glanced up at you as if silently reminding you it was your turn to ask a question. "What did you think of me when you first met me?" You wondered aloud. You gave him a look like he should be careful about how answered this question. He cracked a smile, remembering the first time you'd approached him and threatened him for selling his weed on your block and trying to steal your customers. "I thought you were tough. Not the kind of woman you want to mess with. I also thought you were super hot," Chris admitted. You blushed, hoping Chris couldn't tell in the glow of the moon.

"What's one thing you don't leave the house without?" Chris asked you, pulling a long drag from his joint. "My keys," you sharply responded, subtly teasing him for having to break into his own place earlier. He let out a laugh. "And my gun," you told him. You sipped on your bubbly drink, noting that the song had changed.

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High started to play as you glanced back over at the blue-eyed man beside you. "If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?" You asked, peeling the label off your beer bottle. "Nothing," Chris smirked over at you. "Nothing?" You reiterated, furrowing your brow. "Nothing," he repeated. "You're a little cocky, aren't you?" You shot back. "I prefer confident," Chris chuckled before he pulled from the joint again.

"What do you think the most important quality in a friend or partner is?" Chris asked after a few seconds of silence. "Honesty and loyalty," you said without hesitation, and Chris nodded in agreement. "You?" You asked. "Probably just someone who isn't going to bail when things get hard," Chris sincerely responded.

"What's your biggest fear?" You asked him, the questions getting deeper and deeper. "Losing the people I love," he answered, staring down at the build-up of ash on the cherry before flicking it off. "How about you, ma?" He returned the question. "Trusting the wrong person and getting hurt," you responded almost immediately. "I get that," Chris answered, his gaze still fixed on you.

"What's your guilty pleasure?" Chris asked you, his luscious lips curling into a smile as he awaited your response. "Probably those dumb reality shows," you admitted, your cheeks growing warm. "Really? Never took you for a girl who likes trash TV," Chris teasingly nudged your arm. "Daisy loves that shit, too."

"What's one of your guilty pleasures?" You asked Chris. He bit down on his lip as he looked you up and down. He knew what he wanted to say, but he knew it would be crossing the line of just playful flirting and venturing into uncharted territory, so he came up with something on the spot.

"Watching the trash TV with her. I'm always making fun of her for watching The Bacholorette and shit like that, but then I find myself watching it with her and getting all invested," Chris confessed.

"I totally get it. Like, I started watching it as a joke at first, and then you get to know the people. Then you start wanting them to end up together," you said, glancing up at him, and his eyes met yours. The song changed again, and you listened as the lyrics came through:

🎶 If you like your coffee hot, let me be your coffee pot. You call the shots, babe. I just wanna be yours. 🎶

The two of you stared at each other in a comfortable silence for a moment, Chris taking a puff of his weed as you took a swig of beer. "So, what does Daisy think you're out doing all day when you're working?" You wondered, raising an eyebrow at him. "As far as she knows, I work in sales, which isn't totally a lie. She just doesn't know about the drugs," Chris shrugged. "Yeah, she doesn't know about the most important detail," you scoffed, tapping on the glass of your bottle.

"Why are you always judging me for that, ma? I've got my reasons. Why are you so pressed about it?" He asked, sounding a bit defensive. "I had an ex who kept things from me, like how much money he owed certain people. He put me in a lot of dangerous situations. Don't want to watch you do the same shit to Daisy," you murmured, letting Chris in more than you had up until this point. "I didn't know, ma," Chris said, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder and relaxing his jaw. "You know, I'd never intentionally hurt her. Or you."

"It doesn't matter, Chris. You can be the most well-intentioned person in the world and still hurt the people around you," you responded. He was quiet for a few minutes, mulling over what you said.

"Your ex? Alex?" Chris wondered, blowing out a cloud of smoke against the night sky as he recalled Joe using that name earlier. "Yeah. My dumb fuck ex. He got himself killed because he owed the wrong people money," you said in a dry tone. "Holy shit. Ma, I'm so sorry," Chris whispered. "Don't be. He deserved it," you muttered under your breath.

"Hey, I have a question. Why do you always call me ma?" You chimed in. "It's just a sign of respect. That's all," he shrugged. "Why? Does it bother you?"

"No. It's fine. I don't care what you call me. You gotta stop looking at me like that, though. Looking like you're gonna kiss me or some shit," you accused him, following his gaze that danced between your eyes and your lips as you took another drink of your beer. The song changed again.

🎶 How many secrets can you keep? 'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow, and I play it on repeat until I fall asleep. 🎶

"I'm not looking at you any type of way! Maybe you're projecting because you wanna kiss me," he shot back. The sexual tension between the two of you was thick, and for a moment, you each thought about it. The temptation was there, and it was strong. You wanted to pull him as close as you could, passionately press your lips against his, and tangle your fingers in his soft, brown hair, but you didn't want to ruin your business relationship with him.

Chris thought the same, wondering what it would be like to kiss you, but he didn't want to screw up what he had with Daisy, and he didn't want to give you the wrong impression. He diverted his eyes, glancing down at his joint that had burned down to the roach, and he put it out. "Get enough of the view, ma? I'm getting kind of tired," Chris chimed in as you admired his profile in the moonlight.

For a moment, you forgot he was talking about the scape of the city from the roof. "Oh, right. Yeah, of course. I should probably go," you said, fiddling with the empty bottle in your hand. "You can stay the night if you need to," Chris motioned towards the alcoholic beverage you'd finished off, but he knew he was playing with fire the moment the words left his mouth, inviting you to stay the night.

🎶 Do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways? Sad to see you go, was sort of hoping that you'd stay. 🎶

The two of you exchanged a look like you both knew it wouldn't be a good idea. Even with you both sleeping in separate rooms, you each knew deep down that a closed door wouldn't be enough to deter you two from the temptation. "It's cool, Chris. It was just one beer. I'll just grab a glass of water, sit on your couch for twenty minutes, and I'll be fine to drive," you told him. Chris picked up his phone and paused the song. "I got you, ma. I'll help you down."

You felt elated once you were finally sitting back down on Chris' couch, sobering up. You weren't sure if it was a buzz from the alcohol, an adrenaline rush from being on the roof, or just the way you were starting to feel around Chris.

Chris gave you some crackers to help "absorb the alcohol," because he had "heard somewhere that it does," and even though you'd only had one beer, it was sweet that he cared enough. You also both just knew that you had to sober up, because staying the night wasn't an option unless you were both prepared to give into the force that was pulling the two of you together and end up doing something that could hurt Daisy or hurt your business relationship.

So you were munching away on Ritz crackers on Chris' couch after your single beer, and once you felt like the effects of the alcohol had worn off, you made a comment about how late it was getting and about how you should probably get going.

You left, following the same stepping stones you'd used when you walked up. When you approached your car, you reached into your empty pocket for your keys just to remember you'd left them on Chris' coffee table. "Shit," you whispered, realizing you were going to have to do a walk of shame back up to his front door after giving him shit for forgetting his keys earlier.

Chris had already started to get ready for bed, shedding his layers and slipping into a pair of flannel pajama pants when a soft knock sounded at his front door. He peeked through the peephole to make sure it was you, his heart racing and secretly wondering if you'd come back to kiss him or confess your feelings for him, his mind swirling with half a dozen possibilities.

He turned the doorknob, and when you saw him, your eyes were immediately drawn to the fact that he was shirtless. "Uh, sorry. I forgot my keys," you told him, unable to conceal your smile at the irony of the situation. "Oh, you mean, the keys you don't go anywhere without?" Chris asked, leaning against the door frame and indulging in the fact that you were doing nothing to hide the fact that you were checking him out.

"Yeah. Those ones," you smirked, biting down on your lip. "I'll go get 'em, ma," Chris chuckled at you as he turned to retrieve your keys. You found yourself holding your breath as your gaze danced over the definition of his back muscles in the soft lighting of his living room.

He handed them to you, and as you took them from him, his hand brushed against yours. You both exchanged a look that was heavy with the words unspoken between you, but you also both silently agreed it was for the best. "Okay, goodnight," you said, unconsciously batting your eyelashes at him. "Goodnight," Chris smirked, eyeing you up and down as you turned to walk away before closing his door again.

As soon as you made it to your car, you reflected on the way you acted and how stupid you must have sounded, silently kicking yourself. You didn't harp on it for long, though. Your embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by the intoxication and bliss you felt from being around such an attractive man who was beginning to make you smile more than he made you roll your eyes.

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[back2bluesidex]

To Be Popular - JJK [Chapter 2]

Pairing: Social Media Influencer! Jungkook X Marketing Manager! Reader ft. Yoongi

Summary:

You love everything about social media - apart from the ever-growing number of social media influencers. You don't understand how these people gain followers and admirers just by installing a camera and doing very basic things in front of it. And you despise how some of them can do anything to gain fame, to be popular - even if it includes uploading their bedroom scene in pornsites aka people like Jeon Jungkook. But when your company launches a new product and your department head tasks you with signing Jeon Jungkook up as an endorsement partner - you have no choice but to chase him like the corporate slave that you are. However, things turn worse when you embroil in a dating rumor with him and have to keep the game going for the sake of everything. is it really for the worse or things will turn in a way you never expected it to?  

Theme: Strangers to lovers au, fake dating au, kind of enemies to lover au, angst, smut, fluff.

Full Series Word Count: 26k

Chapter word count: 6.4k+

Warnings: flirting, argument, kissing that's all.

Masterlist | Patreon (For access to the complete series)

Minors, I am not responsible for what you consume online. So, act more rationally and stay away.

Chapter index: -

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |

Drabbles: Imposter in the club,

Or read the full series right away on Patreon!!

Only twice in your life did you have the need to sign contracts. 

First time was your employment contract, the second time was your house lease contract. 

The third contract turns out to be something that you didn’t even have the wildest dreams about - a dating contract. 

That too, with a person you seemingly get irked by very often. 

You have gone through the documents almost every day this past week, so much so that now you can recite the terms and conditions as fluently as your phone number. 

The contract is pretty standard if you are being honest. There is only one term that you added: “Kisses are not allowed”. And it seems like both Seokjin and Jungkook have no issues accepting your only term. 

However, your hands feel clammy all of a sudden when you are about to sign the papers. The thoughts of being under the limelight scares you. 

And being Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend means a lot of limelight in social media. 

“You okay?” Kim Seokjin asks, perceiving your hesitation in signing the papers. 

“Yeah.. I am just.. You know… don’t know what to expect from all these.” you voice. 

Seokjin places an assuring hand on top of yours, with a little squeeze he says, “you can trust me, Y/N. I will do my best to keep your private life private. Jungkookie is not a bigshot anyway but yes I know there are risks of privacy breach, which will be my department to handle.” 

You feel an odd sense of relief injected by the man’s silver voice. 

But it seems like you spoke too soon because, “what’s up you two?” Jungkook appears from nowhere. He eyes the place where Seokjin has his hand on top of yours and narrows his eyes at you. 

“You are late.” Seokjin directs his authoritative voice towards Jungkook. Jungkook sits down on the chair beside him and starts chugging down water. His Adam's apple bobs like a sin. 

You distract yourself from the scene by signing the papers finally. 

“Now it’s your turn.” Seokjin extends the paper towards Jungkook, who without a second thought takes it and signs it. 

For a moment you wonder how he manages to stay disconnected from every worry? 

You are as much of a stranger as he is to you. But still, he didn’t hesitate to sign like you did. Maybe this is another reason why you dislike Jeon Jungkook? Because he gets to be care-free while you have to care for every single move you make. 

See for an instance - once you dared to pull an act of bravery and it landed you on a dating deal with Jeon Jungkook. 

How fucking funny!

Your fingers tap on your laptop keyboard as you open the email sent by Jungkook’s agency. It’s a full fledged schedule for your and Jungkook’s first month of appearance. 

And that starts tomorrow. 

As for tomorrow, you will have to visit a cozy cafe with your supposedly boyfriend and get caught by paparazzi. Once you become talk of the media then the company will go ahead and publish an official statement. 

Things will continue like this for five months. During the sixth month your appearances will slow down and at the beginning of the seventh month, the agency will confirm the break up. 

Sounds pretty clean. 

During these seven months Jungkook will be done with the endorsement deal with your company as well. Hence, there is no need of working with him afterwards, which is a pleasant news to be honest. 

So now that you are already in the mess, you should as well taste the water and see what it brings for you. 

“You sure will be okay with it? Do you want me to tag along and keep an eye?” Jimin’s concerned voice rings in your ear. 

You are so thankful that the universe gifted him to you in the form of a best friend. From high school till now, there was hardly a day when Jimin didn’t text you, asked what you were up to, let you know what he was doing. 

He is that one friend who never got away. 

“I will be fine. Don’t worry. Go and enjoy your time, do something fun.” you add. No matter how tempting his offer is, you don’t want him to ruin his Sunday to look after you while you are on a playdate. 

“But Y/N-” 

“Jimin, I will be fine! I will keep updating you, okay?” 

He sighs on the other side making you chuckle. “Okay. but do keep me updated.” 

“Yes. appa. Yes.” 

You check yourself once upon cutting the call.

Yeah, you look presentable. Hopefully paparazzies won’t have any issues with your sober dressing sense. 

Once again your head bobs in the direction from where Jungkook’s car should be emerging. But you find none. 

He is late. 

Great. Another reason to hate Jeon Jungkook. 

Just when you are about to pluck your phone out and throw a text towards him, you hear the rumbling sound of an engine. 

More specifically the sound of Jungkook’s bike. 

He comes to stop where you are standing under a bus stop shade and extends a helmet towards you. 

You are way too busy grasping that you miss the object being offered to you. 

“Do I have to ride this with you?” you point at his bike. 

“It’s called a bike. And yes, you are going to ride it with me.” Jungkook thrusts the helmet towards you again. 

“Thanks for letting me know what it is called. But are you sure I will be in functioning condition by the time we reach?” 

“Don’t worry, my dear girlfriend, I will take care of ya.” he gives you a cheesy grin. 

If something flips inside your chest, then it’s better to put off the subject and focus on the fake date ahead. 

So, you put on the helmet, hop on his bike, and place your hands on his shoulders. 

“Be careful, it's hot down there. Spread your legs a little more.” Jungkook warns. 

You know, it’s about the bike but the implications of his words sets your face on a battle of blush. 

Managing your gut and composure you reply with an affirmative sound. 

“Did you… cut your hair?” Now that Jungkook has stripped off his helmet and is sitting relaxed before you, you can see the difference in his hairstyle from what you saw yesterday. 

“Yeah. All by myself. I even live streamed it. How do I look?” You can see Jungkook’s face lighting up as soon as you mention his new hairstyle. 

“You look like a twelve year old. Cute.” and you are genuine with your words. He looks less mischievous and certainly not like someone who would fuck on camera.

The tip of his ears turn pink when he registers your compliment. 

Clearing his throat a little he says, “what should we order?” 

“A flat white for me. And that cheese cake, strawberry one.” you say, awkwardly peeking at the menu, which is currently under Jungkook’s scrutiny.   

You hear him chuckling and when you follow that sound, you find him staring down at you. His crinkled eyes, baby-like fringe, bunny-teeth on display and that beautiful smile makes him look like a completely different person. 

He doesn’t look like the Jungkook you used to dislike. 

And that spreads something warm under your skin. You start smiling at him without noticing yourself. 

“Isn’t that Jeon Jungkook?” a second female voice comes from a little distance. 

“Oh my god. Yes. and who is he with? Isn’t he dating that bully girl? Doona or Dana?” 

“What? No. didn’t you see his viral videos from the club? That girl is his rumored girlfriend. They seemed to have a fight that night but I guess they are good now?” 

“Oh really?” 

Even though the spectators are trying to be discreet and silent with their gossip, they are anything but. 

When you look in their direction, your eyes lock with one of them. She quickly turns away and types something on her phone. 

Something reaches out for your hand that is placed on the table top. 

It’s Jungkook’s own hand. 

He wraps his big palm around yours and interlaces his fingers with yours. With a sickeningly sweet smile he says, “the act has started, we should jump into characters now.” 

You tighten your fingers around him and reply, “of course we should.” 

However, you are still unsure about where you will be after six months of this play. Will you be friends with Jeon Jungkook? Or will you end up being more?  

“But how did you let Kim Doona come between you two if you were seeing each other?” 

By the time you and Jungkook managed to come out of the cafe that day, it was already a mess. At least ten different people were trying to get your face properly, five others were trying to get a shot of your and Jungkook's intertwined hands and others were clicking pictures not-so-secretly. 

By the time you were home, your photos were all over Jungkook’s fandom’s insta profiles. 

And when the bomb (aka the official statement from the agency) dropped, your phone flooded with questions after questions.

You didn’t answer any. 

Nonetheless, the questions reappeared, this time directly, as soon as you stepped into your workplace on Monday. 

And this question in particular - it was the mostly asked one and you were ready for it. 

Your colleague nudges you again, “come on, tell me, why did you let him fuck the other girl if you were dating him?” 

“I wasn’t dating him back then.” you reply confidently, of course you had your own share of practice. “We used to be friends. But you know… friends with feelings. So yeah.. I was kinda pissed at him.” 

She makes an O shape with her mouth. 

“Is that why you lashed out on him during the meeting? I mean I heard that you…” she doesn’t end her sentence. 

These people really work less and gossip more. You nod. 

“Who confessed though? You or him? Oh- wait! Did you confess at the club? Is that why you two were seen fighting?” she throws her rapid-fire questions at you. 

But you are pleased. It worked out the way you wanted. You didn’t have to tell the story, she completed it all by herself. 

“Yup.” you popped the ‘P’ very enthusiastically. 

“Wow! You are living a fan-fiction, girl, a proper friends to lovers au.” she squeals in her seat, “mind if I post the story on my insta? I wanna use my colleague privilege card.” 

You think for a moment. If she spreads the story herself, it will be better for you. You won’t have to recite it all again and again. So you murmur a little “go ahead” and let her click a selfie with you. 

Your computer dings with a notification from Yoongi. He is asking you to come to his cabin. 

Great. Another round of interviews. 

“I just checked the campaign schedule. It’s efficient as always. Good job, Y/N.” Yoongi’s praise brings a smile to your lips.

You murmur a little thank you with a small smile playing on your lips. 

Every time Yoongi praises your work, your insides flip. But sometimes you wish for those praises to come as ‘you look good today’, ‘your dress looks nice’ and stuff like that. 

Even though that brings a sinking feeling temporarily, that doesn’t stay for long. 

“By the way..” it’s coming, it’s coming, “how did you and Jeon Jungkook end up together? As much as I can assume, you two met each other during the meeting for the first time.” 

This. This is not what you prepared yourself for. 

You didn’t think Yoongi would be too interested in knowing your relationship history, so you wouldn’t have to explain anything to him. But not only is he interested, he seems to be pretty observant of things as well. 

Now you can’t tell him the fake story you just told your colleague nor can you tell him that the entire thing is fake. 

So you clear your throat, “it just…. Happened.” 

“Just happened? You seemed to be pretty livid about his existence that day?” your cute manager gives you a lopsided smile. 

“But then you sent me behind him, to convince him or whatever. And things happened.” you turn your confidence up yet again. 

He quirks a brow at you, “things happened after that club incident, huh?” 

He is right. But not the way he is thinking himself to be right.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” you reply, as you collect the files with the details of the campaign and proceed to leave his cabin. 

“The photoshoot starts next week, don’t be lovey-dovey on the set.” he teases you on your way back. 

You only roll your eyes at the door. 

Second fake date is: hanging out at a bar after work. 

But you don’t drink on weekdays. 

So that lands you on a negotiation and the date is fixed on the Friday of the same week. 

You wait for Jungkook at the entrance of your work complex, a place where people would be able to see you getting on his bike very clearly. A strategy to make things public. 

But what comes to pick you up is not a bike but a car. 

A sleek black car that makes heads turn as it comes to stop in front of you. 

For a moment, you think the driver is mistaking you for someone else. 

But then the diver’s door opens and Jungkook comes out, wearing a black buttoned down with a pair of ripped jeans. 

Your eyes are now the size of saucers. 

You once gulp as you see Jungkook smiling brightly at you. 

“Hey baby. Sorry I’m late. Let’s go.” he says sweetly. And you wonder how good of an actor he is. 

“H-hi. It's okay. Yeah, let's go.” you reply in haste, trying to school your dumbfounded expression. 

You let him lead you inside the car with a hand on the small of you back. He lets every passerby see his face, under the street lights, as if he is very proud showing you off. 

Fake. It's fake. You remind yourself. 

“You know, you are a good actor.” you voice your thoughts once Jungkook settles inside the car, 

He chuckles, “yeah? Learned from Jin hyung. He used to be an acting major. Have been seeing him acting to be polite with his shareholders for all the years.” 

The fondness in his eyes at the mention of the other male is so clear. You can’t help but smile. You have perceived the same glow on Jin’s face too. 

“You two really adore each other, don’t you?” 

“Yeah. You can say that. I would be wandering around the streets of Busan if it wasn’t for him.” you hear the underlying darkness in his voice and decide to poke no further on this matter. 

“So, you are telling me that you made this story all by yourself? And this actually ended up making sense?” Jungkook is pointing at his phone, which has your colleague's insta post plastered on the screen. 

“I told you. I am good at my job. Moderating success stories is a part of our marketers’ job.” you shrug. Your shoulders are already a lot loose after a few drinks. 

Your head is on the cloud. 

You feel good. 

And Jungkook is being less cocky today, which is helping you relax even more. 

Jungkook hums, “Great. The act is going well so far.” 

Jungkook starts scrolling on his phone again, focusing on something very hard. After a moment of silence he says, “I won’t lie, we look good together.” 

There is a smug smile playing on his lips. 

You groan, “I thought you quit being cocky for this evening.” 

“Hey! I am not being cocky. Look at these photos.” he protests, poking his phone towards you. 

“I have seen those, Jungkook. And I don’t think I look good with you. You and I are totally two different individuals, from every single aspect. You match with someone like.. Like Kim Doona.” 

Jungkook’s eyes shut for a second, “there is no point of saying this now. I missed my shot with her because someone decided to barge in my perfectly comfortable and peaceful life.” 

“Wait. You had a thing for her?” you sit up straight on your chair. 

“I still do.” Jungkook empties his glass in a sip. 

You would have fought him and told him how you saved from a prolonged controversy, but you are feeling light-headed. You are feeling good. So you will be nice for just once. 

“Well… I am sorry then. I know how it feels to have an unrequited crush.” you sigh, recalling Yoongi’s pretty face, “sorry.” 

Jungkook seems to be caught off-guard with your changed demeanor. 

“It’s okay.” he adds, “you have a crush on that manager, don’t you?” 

The fuck? 

“How the fuck do you know this now?” your eyes go big for the second time today. 

“Come on, Y/N. Anyone with eyes can tell. The way you stiffed when he caught you and me at the parking lot.” he giggles. 

“Ok. That's enough. Let’s go home. I feel sleepy.” you stand abruptly from your chair, swaying a little (thanks to the alcohol in your bloodstream). 

Jungkook stands up too, wraps a hand around your bicep and mutters a small ‘careful’ in your ear.

“By the way… don’t you think you have to call a designated driver?” you ask on the way out of the bar. 

“Jin hyung has us covered.” he shrugs. 

On the way back home you look at the fleeting landscapes out of the car window. For some unknown reason… you feel upset. 

You had a pretty good evening. No matter how much you hate to admit it, Jungkook is a fun company. 

You two would bicker endlessly, then would slip into serious topics like economy and politics, and then all of a sudden you would talk about your favorite drinks. 

He really doesn’t seem like that Jungkook you used to dislike. 

But there is something that’s bothering you. And you can’t put a finger at it. 

The car comes to a stop in front of your apartment. You wave a quick goodbye to Jungkook, who has been busy on his phone all the way back, and climb out of the car. 

As you take small swaying steps towards your entrance, you hear the car door shutting loudly and then in turn Jungkook’s voice, “won’t you give me a goodnight kiss, girlfriend?”  

You don’t know what possessed you. It can be the alcohol, can be your bad judgment, can be the sinking feeling in your chest and the desperate need of feeling something, anything - that makes you turn around. 

You march towards Jungkook without thinking twice, standing chest to chest with him. 

All the mischief drains from his face when you grab him by the collar of his shirt and smash your lips on his. 

It should have been over in a second or two. 

But what's worse is that Jungkook is pulling you close by your waist and deepening the kiss already. 

Hope you don’t regret this when you are sober. 

There were twelve terms in your dating contract. 

You added one. 

And you breached that very one. 

The screen of your phone goes blank as you groan again for the nth time. Every time you open Instagram, all you see is you kissing Jungkook standing on the damn fucking road! 

You two were being followed by the paps that night, which was obviously a part of the plan, and you, being clearly too drunk to think straight, kissed Jeon Jungkook on his lips! 

And now those photos are circulating like wildfire. 

Jimin texted you, asking for a clarification. 

Seokjin texted with three teasing thumbs up. 

And Jungkook texted with probably a thousand of ‘ㅋ’s. 

All you want now is for the ground to split in half so that you can jump in there and die. That’s the best possible solution for whatever the fuck is going on in your pathetic excuse of a life. 

Your phone dings with another notification and you swear to turn it off if it’s another mention in another insta post or another threatening DM from Jungkook’s crazy fans. 

But it seems like the universe is trying to be even more cruel with you, because it’s a reminder of your schedule for the day - which is another date day with the root of your problems - Jeon Jungkook. 

And today, you will have to spend time at his home, click pretty selfies and photos together highlighting how domestic you two are and post those in social media from both ends. 

When you are about to go back groaning, you receive another notification. 

It’s a text from Seokjin, “the car will be there in an hour.” 

“Welcome to my home, girlfriend.” Jungkook grins stupidly as he spots you at his door. You really want to grab a frying pan and bang it on his stupidly round head. 

“Don’t call me that when there’s no one to hear.” you reply grumpily walking inside Jungkook’s luxurious apartment. 

You really want to know how much these influencers make monthly to afford an apartment like this. 

“I call you that for you to hear, baby.” His cheesy remarks are just too much to take, so you just roll your eyes at him. 

“Do you want anything? Tea? Coffee? Juice? Or maybe a kiss?” there he goes. 

This is what you were dreading! The moment you were sober enough to judge your actions, you knew Jungkook will be having a field day the moment he sees you. 

And here you go. 

But but but - you aren’t alone in this. You definitely kissed him first but he, too, kissed you back. So he needs to go down with you. 

“Oh why not, you definitely liked kissing me a little too much.” you bite back. But your words don't affect Jungkook at all. The smirk that he was sporting doesn’t go anywhere. It only grows more sinister. 

“Of course I did. Are you telling me you didn’t?” 

Now this is another thing that you were dreading to admit - that you actually enjoyed kissing him. His lips felt good on yours. 

But you have been trying to convince yourself that it’s because of the alcohol swimming in your veins, even though you know it’s nothing but an excuse. 

“Shut up!” you huff, hoping that Jungkook doesn’t notice the sudden rush of red on your cheeks, “let’s take some photos so that I can leave.” 

“What?” Jungkook is now genuinely confused and you can see it on his face, “Do you really want to leave? I thought we were cooking together? I decided to live stream it.” 

“Me and live stream? Are you kidding? There was no mention as such on the schedule plan?” you are sure all the colors of your face have drained with just one mention of a live stream. 

You hate being the center of attention. 

“Yeah but I improvised just as you did last day by kissing me.” Jungkook shrugs. 

Where the fuck is the frying pan? 

“Okay. I am leaving. Bye.” you haste towards the door. 

Jungkook giggles like a baby, grabbing your wrist and stopping you mid-tracks. 

“Okay okay. I am sorry. I promise not to tease you anymore if you say yes to the live stream.” 

“You promise?” you quirk an eyebrow facing him. 

“I promise.” 

You don’t even know if saying yes to Jungkook’s improvisation was a good idea or a bad one. 

There are reasons it’s both good and bad. 

Good because Jungkook is not teasing or unnecessarily being smug with you anymore. Bad because he is hovering way too close to your body for you to keep being sane. 

The kitchen is big enough, but half of the space is being used to put down cameras and a laptop. On top of that you two have to be crammed in a small space where both of your figures are being perfectly visible to the viewers. 

You are mostly quiet, playing your part, cooking as you are supposed to. 

But Jungkook is in his element. 

He is so natural in front of the cameras that it feels as if he was born to do so. 

Jungkook interacts with the viewers, reads their comments once in a while, smiles, laughs, and makes jokes. Under the light and darkness of the kitchen - he looks so youthful, so radiant that you feel a weird coil in your chest. 

Whenever he brushes past you, you get a whip of his perfume - an earthy, woody tone with a hint of citrus. 

His hair falls on his eyes - unmade - unlike all the other times you have seen him. 

This - whatever this is - you don’t like it. 

“Why is your girlfriend being so silent?” Jungkook reads a comment from the laptop. You pay half mind to him, occasionally smile a little. 

But within a moment, Jungkook slides behind you. 

He puts his big-ass hands on your waist, places his face on your shoulder and says, “baby, why are you being so silent?” 

If you are seeing things right then his lower lip juts out while he tries to coax an answer out of you. 

Your heart starts beating abnormally fast. 

“O-oh.. I- It’s my first time being in a live stream… so yeah.” you proceed to flip the omelet, focusing on the food and food only. 

“You guys heard that? She’s nervous. Don’t scare my girl away.” Jungkook fakes anger. 

You release the breath you were holding when he finally removes himself from you. 

You are now seriously afraid of the outcome of this fake dating contract of yours. 

“Hate to say this but” you take in a deep deep breath “this is actually very delicious. Good job." You point your chopsticks at the carbonara that Jungkook prepared. 

“Really?” he seems to be taken aback with your compliment “Thanks. Glad that you like it.” 

“By the way, you remember you have a shoot with us tomorrow, right?” you change the topic to a more serious one. 

“I do. Will your crush slash manager be there too?” his eyes stay boring in the carbonara. You honestly don’t know why Jungkook is curious about Yoongi all of a sudden. 

“Probably. Why though?” 

“Will try not to piss him off while acting.” he shrugs. 

You scoff at that “he won’t be pissed. He doesn’t reciprocate, you know.” 

“Are you sad about that?” Jungkook’s tone is a tad bit softer now. 

“Not really. It’s not that I am in love with him or something. It’s a stupid crush, and will go away with time.” 

“Have you ever tried asking him out?” 

“Not really.” 

“Then, have you ever asked him to hook up with you?” 

You choke on your omelet. 

“What- the fuck” you cough “no! Why would I ask him something like that?” 

“Why won’t you though? Don’t you want to have sex with him? I mean you like him, it’s only natural.” Jungkook explains matter-of-factly. 

“No. it’s not natural for me. I need to be at least friends with a person to have sex. And I am not friends with Yoongi. We barely even talk out of work.” 

“Oh.” Jungkook thinks for a moment “So that guy friend of yours - what was his name again… Jimin? Is he your…” 

“Oh my god, Jungkook! No! I am not currently sleeping with anyone. I have not had sex for like eighteen months.”  It's your frustration which is speaking now. 

“What? Wait! What are you? A nun?” Jungkook’s eyes go wide at your admission. 

Embarrassment eats you away, like you were eating the carbonara a few minutes ago, “I- I mean. I am not that horny.” 

“Then… Do you want to sleep with me?” 

At first you think you misheard it. So you stare at Jungkook with big eyes. 

His expression is rather serious and you hate how it affects you. 

“What did you just say?” you finally let your voice be heard. 

“You heard me.” 

“Jungkook, please stop kidding. This is not funny.”

“I am serious.” he sighs. 

“Look. I can’t go around and sleep for fun since we have an act going on here. You, too, seem like you need to blow off some steam. And honestly, tell me where is your benefit from all these? It’s your company that’s ripping the fruit, not you.” 

Jungkook’s words register in your brain. He makes perfect sense. You have no benefits whatsoever from all these. 

“It’s just an offer, you can decline it if you want but… we can- we can have some fun like adults. No one has to know, nothing will get fucked up since we are not even close to begin with.” Jungkook reasons. 

He is right. You have nothing to lose if things go down and this won’t be the first time having casual sex with someone you know. There is absolutely no risk, no feelings on the line. 

Should you really consider the idea? 

The scenes from that grainy video start clouding your brain. 

A tiny voice in your mind says, “why not?” 

“Then… Do you want to sleep with me?”

“It’s just an offer, you can decline it if you want but… we can- we can have some fun like adults. No one has to know, nothing will get fucked up since we are not even close to begin with.”

Jungkook’s words go round and round in your head. Things have been like that for the better part of the time following your departure from his apartment.

You don’t even know why are you thinking so much, you should have just bad-mouthed him, tell him to fuck off and go fuck himself but something has kept you from doing so. 

He was suggesting something genuinely and there was a point in his proposition. And above every logical expression - it’s true that you are touch-starved. It’s been way too long with you and your dildo only. You need a living object inside of you now. 

Also, Jeon Jungkook is just so hot and he fucks well - that much you know from that unsolicited video. So yeah… you could probably accept his proposal. 

The only thing that is keeping you from doing so is your heart. You don’t know what will you be left off with after you are done fucking with for five to six months. Getting attached to people easily is one of your biggest weaknesses. 

And getting attached to your fuck-buddies, that too to someone like Jungkook, won’t be too glorifying of a thing to do. 

A hand comes and sits on your shoulder blade, scaring you off of your own skin. 

You almost hit the intruder with your laptop. 

“Calm down, it’s just me.” Yoongi comes to your view. 

“Fuck! You scared me!” you finally calm down, put your laptop on the table as it was before. 

“Well it’s not my fault. My shoes were pretty loud against the floor you know? You were too lost in your head that you didn’t even hear me coming. What’s up?” He comes to sit down beside you - way too close to you. 

In other times you would start blushing right away but for some reasons, you don’t. 

And honestly you don’t even want to find out the reasons. 

“Nothing. Just rechecking the schedule and all.” you murmur, forcing your attention on the laptop screen. 

Yoongi hums, “Your boyfriend will come in time, right? Hope he is not one of those snobbish celebrity types.” 

Your boyfriend … The mention stirs something inside your heart. 

“He tends to get late but he is not snobbish.” you defend Jungkook and your actions shocks even you. 

“Oooohhhhh” Yoongi makes an amused noise “love really changes people, huh?” 

You don’t reply to him- everything is fake anyway. 

“There is a rumor going around that you two were acquaintances before? But you told me a completely different story. May I know what’s actually going on?” 

You sigh. You knew this was coming. And you prepared your answer. 

“Well, what I told you was right. But his agency urged me to make up those stories for, you know, reasons. So yeah that’s it. And I will trust you with this secret.” narrowing your eyes on him for the last part of the sentence, you emphasize your point. 

“Okay okay.” he heaves a laugh out of his chest. 

“But why is Min Yoongi suddenly so interested in my love story?” you are genuinely curious about his curiosity. He never pays any mind to any office gossip but now that it’s your turn he seems to be interested in every little detail. 

“Maybe I have reasons you don’t know?” he shrugs. 

When his words register in your mind your eyes widen. 

“W-what reasons Yoongi?” you finally voice seeing him getting up from the chair and heading towards the exit. 

“That’s useless now. Maybe I will tell you sometime in future, maybe I will never let you know.” his voice trails and then morphes into air as he leaves the room. 

Something sits in your chest uncomfortably. Is he hinting at something you wanted all along? Was this fake dating a mistake? Did it cost you something real? 

A migraine forms just before the shoot. 

“Annyoenghaseyo.” Jungkook greets the entire crew sweetly as he stands at the entrance of the studio. There are two other men with you, who are holding big bags, probably full of snacks and drinks. 

“I have brought some snacks for everyone. Since the shoot is going to take long, I hope you all have something to munch on. Also, hope you forgive me each time I make a mistake.” he flashes his bunny smile as he bows and gestures to his men to distribute the snacks. 

You can hear the crew oohing ahhing for his sweetness. You only roll your eyes - only if they know how big of an asshole he is.   

“Darling.” He comes close to you and stands before you, measures your expressions before enveloping you in a hug. 

Another round of oohhs and aahhs echoes in the studio. 

You fake the hug too. 

But obviously your body had to act weird around him. Your nipples pebble as his chest comes in contact with yours. 

You silently thank the pads of your bra. 

“Do I get an answer today?” he murmurs in your ear. His hot breath grazes your earlobes, erupting goosebumps all over your body. 

You clear your throat before pulling yourself out of his embrace.  

“Let’s get into work.” 

One credit you will give Jeon Jungkook is that he knows how to work. He is professional - nothing like what you expect from typical influencers. 

He reads the scripts attentively, takes suggestions from the PD-nim and the director, gives his input and doesn’t do re-takes after retakes. 

He makes things go smooth and easy and the shoot leads towards a culmination within the five hour mark. 

You need to update Yoongi about the shoot’s progress - so you take out your phone but just then, Yoongi walks in with another human being attached to his side. 

It’s Im Semi, Yoongi’s rumored girlfriend, also the heir of the company you work for. 

For most of the time you don’t pay any mind to her existence - that’s simply something having nothing to do with your business. 

But at times like this when she is attached to the man’s side, you supposedly have a crush on, you can’t quite ignore. 

Yoongi marches towards you, with that damned smile on his face. You force back a smile. 

Your mind reels back to Yoongi’s confusing words earlier. You must have made a mistake in analyzing. What a fool you are. 

“How’s everything going?” he questions. 

“Very well. Jungkook is doing a great job. In fact we are done with the shoot, they are only reviewing the shots now. As soon as that’s done, we can’t pack up for the day.” you keep your tone professional. 

“That’s great.” Yoongi chimes in, “You can clock out after this. Good job, Y/N.” 

“Thanks. Are you clocking out too?” you ask, eyeing Semi, who is busy staring at her phone. 

“Nah. I got a meeting.” Yoongi informs, “Gotta go back to the building. I can drop you on the nearest subway, if you want.” 

Semi’s head springs up as he regards Yoongi for a moment and then looks at you with a fake forced smile. 

You know she doesn’t like the idea. 

“It’s o-”

“Don’t worry, I will drop her.” Jungkook appears from nowhere and cuts you off. 

For the first time ever, you are actually grateful to him. 

“Ah yeah. He will drop me.” you shrug. 

“Cool. Should we go now, yoongi?” Semi speaks breaking the thin layer of tension that settled on the air. 

“Yeah. I guess. Bye. See you tomorrow.” Yoongi leaves you and Jungkook behind. 

“You okay?” Jungkook enquiries, once Yoongi is out of earshot. 

“Yeah, Fine. Are you done? Let’s go.” 

“So… I have thought about your proposal and it.. Doesn’t sound too bad.” Your eyes are downward, because if you are honest, then you are extremely coy right now and you don’t want Jungkook to witness that. 

You mulled for the entire ride back home. You thought and thought about what to say, how to say it. 

Now that Jungkook is standing before your apartment entrance, you took a chance of making it short. 

“Fuck really?” Jungkook sounds so shocked as if he didn’t expect you to say yes, “didn’t think you would accept it for real. But I am glad that you did.” 

You finally risk a glance at him. He is smiling. Your heart flips. You hate it. 

“So ah..” your ears must be red by now “do you- do you wanna come in?” you place your invitation. 

Jungkook’s smile vanishes. His face takes up a much darker expression. You know what it is. 

“I’d love to.” His voice dips an octave lower than the usual tone. 

 Now you gotta pray that you don’t regret this decision of yours. 

read the full series right away on Patreon!! (Start from part 8)

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Patience: ~Honey's three bitter days!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: Honey gets a cavity and it threatens to tear apart his relationship with Mori ➼ what to expect:  "Oh I thought we were being honest" ➼ warnings: none ➼ Part Eleven | Part Thirteen

"We may have to consider renting costumes for the sake of storage of them all." You mutter as you and Kyoya look over plans for the next month. Kyoya's face scrunched up at the idea. "Rent?"

"Do you want to put part of the budget to building an additional closet for all the costumes?" you raise an eyebrow, taking a sip of coffee. "Or is there another abandoned music room that I don't know about that we can occupy?"

"...I see your point"

"What? You idiots!" Tamaki's yelling from the other side fo the host club caught both of your attentions. "You're the ones who bumped into it, right?"

"Only because Haruhi was running away" "We were trying to catch her 'cause we wanted to have fun and dress up in cosplay"

"So what? We cosplay all the time!"

"We weren't going with the usual Host club costumes" "We want to see Haruhi in bunny cosplay, disguised as a girl"

You raise an eyebrow "Disguised as a girl?" you hold back a laugh at the look on Haruhi's face. "You'd like to see it, too, wouldn't you?" Tamaki turns more red by the second. "I'd definitely want to see that. What am I thinking? There's no time for stuff like that now! I know what you're up to. You're trying to distract me from the mess you've made! Get away from Haruhi you punks!"

"No way"

"let me go!"

"Excuse me. We don't have any guests at the moment, so I don't mind if you make a racket, but please, be careful. You don't want to wake Honey-Senpai" Kyoya leans over to inform them. Tamaki and the twins freeze up at the mention.

"He's a third year who still takes afternoon naps? Well, we're gonna have to tell him about the bunny at some point, let's just wake him up and apologize" Haruhi, rather cluelessly, approaches where honey is napping.

"No wait! Don't get any closer to honey-senpai! Come back, it's safe over here!" Tamaki and the twins call from the couch they are hiding behind "What are you talking about?"

"Honey-senpai wakes up in a very bad mood after napping. Now it may just be a rumor but the Haninozuka family once visited a US military base to give combat training. Supposedly, Honey-Senpai slept through most of it because of his jet lag. Then a soldier came in and carelessly tried to wake him up since he had been sleeping for so long. On that day, he wiped out two entire platoons of soldiers and not just any soldiers, green berets! And i've heard we've had diplomatic issues with America ever since that day"

"How terrifying"

"And we've got a bigger problem. Usa-Chan was hand-made for Honey-Senpai by his deceased grandmother you've seen the way he carries it around. That little bunny is his most prized possession. I can't imagine how he's going to react when he wakes up and sees that his precious Usa-chan is ruined!"

"He's gonna do to us what he did to those green berets!"

"You're exaggerating, it's impossible for that story to be true, i mean come on"

"It is, and there's other evidence that honey-senpai has an evil side to him, listen to this. his blood type is AB how about that"

"yeah so what?"

"But Haruhi, that mean's he's the same blood type as Kyoya"

Haruhi jumps back in shock, clearly convinced. the group slowly turning to face the two of you "What's the matter? Do you guys have a problem with my blood type?" you sit up "Hey I have AB blood type, what's wrong with that?"

Honey shifts in his sleep, distracting the rest of them "This is bad, we have to do something quick before he wakes up. Hikaru, kaoru" Tamaki snaps his fingers. The twins slide in "Sir!" They whisper, saluting.

"Go get your folks' cessna. Fly to Osorezan and bring back a medium, we'll channel his grandfather, and she can guide us through it. We can make a new Usa-chan for Honey-senpai! Here take this map of the Aomori prefecture with you and don't forget to bring back apple juice, apple jam and nebuta souvenir dolls"

"But we don't have that much time" "We're used to you crazy plans but you should come up with something more practical"

"Alright, how about this? We'll send usa-chan to the cleaners. haruhi! You're going to have to wear the bunny suit"

"yeah good idea boss!"

"Forget about it! I'm not wearing that stupid bunny suit! It's not gonna work he'll know it's me!"

"No he won't he won't be able to tell the difference if he's just waking up from a nap!"

"Well then why don't you wear it senpai!"

The two of them descended into a series of incoherant arguing. Clearly forgetting that Honey was asleep nearby, who was now waking up.

"He's awake! We'll have to use a substitute! We've got no choice!" Tamaki sneaks a stuffed bear onto the sofa where Honey was waking up, who as he finally becomes aware of his surroundings picks up the bear and throws the bear to the floor.

"No! Not my teddy bear!" "He's gonna come after us next!""He just spotted his bunny rabbit!"

Honey sleepily stumbled to the table where Usa-chan laid, picking up the tea soaked rabbit. "Who's responsible for this? Who got Usa-chan dirty"

The twins and Tamaki break out into screaming its "Someone, help. Mori-senpai, don't let him hurt us!"

"He wanted tea, so usa-chan decided to have a drink"

The club falls silent, holding their breaths in hopes the explanation worked.

"I see. So that's why his face is all dirty, isn't it? Hey do you think he wants some cake too?"

the boys fall to the ground with relief.

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Honey's three bitter days!

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"You can't keep eating nothing but sweets all the time. You know you're gonna end up with a cavity"

"Oh don't worry. I always brush my teeth" As honey bite into the piece of cake on his fork he freezes up, curling in on himself in pain,catching the attention of the entire host club. "Honey-senpai is it?"

"It's nothing, kay?"

"Let me just take a look in your mouth"

"Hole still" "Honey-senpai please quit squirming"

"There's nothing wrong! Quite messing with me! Leave me alone!"

A large shadow casts over Honey, causing him to look up with a gasp. Mori lunges forward, taking Honey’s hand in one of his own and gripping his chin in the other, pinning him to a nearby sofa in one quick motion, despite sounds of protest from Honey.

The guests around to watch all scream in unison, Renge among them. “Yes! That’s it, that’s it! That’s what was missing. It’s… moe~!”

She wiggles in anticipation behind them. Mori presses his fingers on either of Honey’s cheeks and prompts him to open his mouth. Honey allows his jaw to fall slack despite firm protest, and Mori catches sight of the cavity plaguing one of Honey’s molars.

Tamaki peeks over the sofa to get a look, “So, is it… a cavity?”

“Yeah,” Mori replies plainly.

“It’s alright. I’ll be okay.” Honey whimpers unconvincingly.

Mori turns to face the leader "Tamaki" he manages to somehow convey his entire point in one word "Yes, you're right i'll take care of this"

Tamaki stepsto face all the guests and the host club, clearing his throat "Until honey-senpai gets over his cavity I'm afraid he can't have sweets. Therefore, we'll be supportive and ask that you kindly refrain from eating snacks in the club room until this ordeal is over"

Honey starts to tear up "no! No, don't Takashi. Please don't take my snacks away, you can't, don't do it. What'll I do without them?" Mori picks up a nearby slice of cake, moving it away "I can handle it! Please don't take away my cake!"

"No more cake"

Honey falls to the floor whailing.

"And that’s how it all began. One little cavity, and suddenly Honey-Senpai’s life became a living hell.”

You and kyoya's heads fall to the side simultaneously as you watch the scene unfolding. "Well, that's our small clothing budget issue fixed-ow!" you elbow him in the ribs. "You were thinking the same thing"

"Yes but I wasn't going to say it out loud!"

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As you are walking towards the host club you spot mori and a girl standing together in the hallway. You don't mean to eavesdrop, you really didn't. but there was no way to get through without interupting them so instead you hide behind a pillar.

"I just can't hide it any longer. I have to get this off my chest, i need to know what your feelings are towards me, and if you'll accept my love" Mori remains as stoic as ever.

"Will you, please? Unless of course, there's someone else. Please tell me. is there someone else who's dear to you?"

At the non-reply the girl sighs "There is isn't there? Huh I should've known" The girl runs off.

"You can come out now Y/n"

You awkwardly step out of your hiding place, you should have known that Mori would've picked up on your presence. "Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop- i just-"

Mori sighs, shaking his head. "You don't...have someone else...do you?" You ask, looking back to where the girl had ran off to. Mori looks back at you with a stern look. "Relax Mori-senpai, I am not the others, you can be honest with me and I won't jump into an insane scheme"

"No" You could tell from the look on his face that there was more to what he was saying. "But your heart is elsewhere anyway?"

You smile "You know Mori, you've been really vigilant on making sure Honey stays healthy" he remains silent, staring off in the distance. "Not all love has to be or is romantic" he still remains silent as expected.

"Perhaps, you feel that there is someone else that has your heart because someone else does, just not in a way that would make sense romantically, and that's okay" you give him a half hearted smile, starting to carry on down the hallway "Is that how you feel about Kyoya?"

You freeze at the question. "What?" you turn back to him "You love him, don't you? is that romantic love or something else?"

Your jaw hangs open, inhaling as you shake your head. Do you love kyoya? surely not, but....no- no of course not, that would be mad. "I- Kyoya and I are just- we...."

Mori's chin picked up "Oh I thought we were being honest" your face fell. "Mori!"

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Honey-Senpai’s 'get sweets’ strategy #1: Use the cute

With an adorable giggle, Honey prances toward Mori in nearly a slow-motion-like way, “Look, Takashi! My cavity is all better now!”

Unbothered, reading his novel, Mori sits at an empty table, one leg crossed over the other, “… you sure?”

“The swelling has even gone down!”

“… has it?”

“So~ Do you think I can have a piece of cake? Just one? Please?”

With a carefully calculated trajectory, Mori shoves a popsicle made of pure ice into Honey’s open mouth, resting against each and every one of his teeth.

Honey’s reaction proves his assertions otherwise- He gasps, yelps, and shivers, holding his swollen cheek with his hands and putting pressure on it.

Flourishing the popsicle, Mori strides away, unfazed, “You’re not fully recovered yet.”

Honey-Senpai’s 'get sweets’ strategy #2: The indirect method

Two unsuspecting guests enjoy their complimentary tea and finger sandwiches peacefully, unbothered. But, a threat soon makes itself known.

Honey hovers around them like a shark waiting to pounce, humming innocently, but his intentions indicate otherwise.

He turns and makes eye contact with them, to which they immediately avoid guiltily.

“What are you ladies drinking?” Honey waddles up to them.

“Um. Darjeeling tea, it’s really good!” The first guest cringes nervously.

“Yeah? What’re you going to have to eat?” Honey pries, getting closer and closer to his desired topic for conversation.

“Well… I was going to have a sandwich.” The second guest admits.

“Ahh. You know what you need? Some sweets! That tea would go well with something… sweet! Like, maybe some cake! C'mon, whaddya say?” Honey wiggles in anticipation, glancing back and forth between each guest.

One guest sighs, “Well… it would be good with cake…” She sighs.

“It sure would…” The first guest groans.

The girls exchange edgy looks, and they know what they must do.

A beat of silence passes, and they each stand up abruptly, slamming their cups of tea on their respective saucers in procession, and dash off in the opposite direction, each unwilling to face the confrontation.

“We’re so sorry, Honey!”

“But it’s for your own good!”

“B-b-but wait!” Honey reaches for them, teary-eyed. He hangs his head with a prominent pout.

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Honey-Senpai’s 'get sweets’ strategy #3: Pulling at the heartstrings

You stand with perfectly straight posture, arms folded behind your back as you observe the club processions quietly, finally off duty for once.

You hear a deep sigh and glance to your side through your peripheral vision. You find Honey, trudging in your direction with his head hung shamefully, sulking.

“Honey-Senpai?” You glance at him. He lets his head fall onto your upper arm and grips your sleeve tightly.

“y/n-chan… am I a bad person?” Honey lifts his head, revealing his glistening eyes. You almost flinch, lips pressing into a thin line at his show of emotion.

“I just don’t understand why God hates me. What have I done?” He whimpers pathetically.

He has definitely succeeded in pulling harshly at your heartstrings. As a result, you feel your chest ache.

But, you have an escape plan- metaphorically hiding behind someone whose heartstrings are pulled taught enough that nearly no one can pull.

“Um… let me just… go… ask Kyoya something.” You laugh nervously, stepping away from Honey and scurrying toward Kyoya at the other end of the clubroom.

Honey should have known better- everyone knows you to retreat to your safe place when you feel put on the spot… and that happens to be, unfortunately for him at this moment, Kyoya. He sighs, knowing you’re never coming back to confer with him.

You reach Kyoya and grip his sleeve. He’s facing away from Honey, so you position yourself in front of him and peek at Honey from afar. Kyoya’s brows furrow, glancing over his shoulder. You quickly stop him.

“Shh! Don’t look back over there! Pretend you need me,” You whisper, pleading.

“What are you-”

“Honey-Senpai’s giving me the eyes for sweets… I can’t let him find my stash,” you whine.

“You have a stash?” For some reason, Kyoya’s not all that surprised.

“Just a few… sweets in my book bag.” You should have thought this through- you’ve left your bag at an empty table. And, if Honey had a sixth sense for sweets, he could find them easily.

Honey pouts as he watches you talk to Kyoya and glance at him every now and then. Finally, Kyoya catches Honey’s eyes and makes eye contact with him for a split second before turning back to you, pushing up his glasses and seemingly asking you a question.

Honey chose the wrong person with the right connections.

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Honey had been broken down to menacingly pacing up and down the host club. The rest of you sat at a table nearby "He's gonna break"

"Would somebody please talk to him. He's scaring me" the door slams open, causing Hikaru to stand up "He's headed for the candy!"

"No need to worry, we emptied out all the sweets"

"Kyoya-senpai, you seem really chipper today"

"It's because he's won a debate on whether or not we should start renting costumes, that and because I stopped bringing my stash of candy to school" you muttered, not bothering to lift your cheek from the palm it was resting on.

Honey pulls out Tamaki's teddy bear, throwing it to the floor "Ah! he keeps doing that to my teddy bear!"

Honey falls to the floor "Well, there he goes"

"Three days and he gives up"

Tamaki slides over "Um, Honey-Senpai?"

Honey jumps to bite at Tamaki's arm "Ah! Somebody help me! He's eating my arm off!"

Mori stands up silently, walking over to him "Mitskuni, don't take this out on other people." Honey cuts out of it, letting go of Tamaki "You saved me, I thought I was a goner"

"It's disgraceful"

The word seemed to trigger Honey-Senpai "Takashi"

He throws him to the floor "You idiot! A little bit isn't gonna hurt me! You're so mean! You're such a hardhead! That's it I hate you! I hate you Takashi!" Honey runs off and out of the club room. "Hey, Mori-senpai" "That was harsh will you be alright?"

Mori stands up, stumbling about before falling to his knees, taking a table with him "Wow, senpai, it looks like he really got to you" "I don't know what's going on but it seems like you're self-destructing"

"Maybe honey-Senpai wouldn't hate you if you hadn't been so hard on him in the first place"

"It was on purpose" The realisation dawned on you that Mori may have misconstrued the conversation the two of you had in the corridor.

"hm?"

"Mori-Senpai, by any chance have you been acting like this because you're trying to get Honey-senpai to hate you?"

"Why would he do that?" "It makes no sense that would be like the end of the world for Mori-Senpai"

"Why would he do it on purpose?"

"Well maybe, because he was trying to punish himself....I'm right aren't I?"

"Yeah you are, this was my fault. Mitskuni has a cavity because I'm careless.twice before his Nap time I forgot to make him brush his teeth"

"But that's not really your responsibility. He should know better"

"But if Mitskuni has to get false teeth, it'll be my fault"

"Uh...don't worry that's not gonna happen"

"Wow what a pessimist"

"I wouldn't be able to live with myself right now if he hadn't thrown me down"

"Because he felt at fault, Mori-senpai wanted some sort of punishment from Honey-Senpai to make up for his failure"

"Well...while that certainly makes a nice story and everything" "It was just a little cavity, right?"

The door opens to reveal Honey and Tamaki "Well there you have it Honey-senpai. What will you do now?"

Honey wells up, running across the room wailing to get to Mori "i'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Takashi! I promise I won't forget to brush my teeth again! I won't forget!"

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“A few days later, Honey-Senpai recovered from his painful cavity. So the host club decided to lift their ban on sweets, and Honey-Senpai can greedily stuff his face once more.”

Seated at a single table in the back corner, Kyoya clutches a group of receipts in one hand and a calculator in the other. Overwhelmed by numbers, he sighs, slouching in his chair defeatedly.

“What’s with Kyoya-Senpai? He looks depressed about something.” Haruhi observes.

“Honey-Senpai’s back to eating sweets; the prices of those snacks add up and can get overwhelming,”

"Here" you approach him with a piece of paper. He appears tense as he looks up at you "What's this?" he takes it from you. "I reworked the budget to account for Honey's sweet influx but without having to sacrifice the costumes"

"What?"

"I knew this was going to end eventually, and when it does Honey's sweet consumption was going to skyrocket. I thought I'd save you the headache"

"That's very...thoughtful...and efficient. Thank you"

"Well...it's our job isn't it?"

Kyoya tilts his chin up, and for a moment you could have sworn you saw the beginnings of a smile. "I suppose it is"

Next time on patience 'Y/N in wonderland!'

Tag list (reply to be added): @skottch @cgmajor @rebirthbunbun @bbybubbles @blueberry19000 @katgirl05 @smellslikelovinglies @veras-fanfic-reblogs @sadprimrose @mirtalikesdr @sleeplesssskeleton @ritzes28 @crackpeole @rory-cakes @renjunniex @II-kita-san-II @angelicwillows @missbrebre1012 @sleep-7372 @strawberrbitch @reticent-writer @eternal-dokja @meme848

[meansevika]

— this fandom has a vast misogynoirist problem and, yes, this also applies to YOU reading this right now; a post filled w unsorted thoughts you should read if you genuinely want black fans to feel safe in fandom spaces with you

i am going to preface this right away w how disappointed i am in some of the people who follow me, who will occasionally like a post calling out misogynoir but only if its comfortable and only if its worded nicely and only if its against someone they dislike and not someone they do like. i am directly talking to my non-black followers because i do not expect black fans to expose themselves to this kind of hatred and thinly (and not so thinly) veiled racism we are faced w on a daily basis. some of you have a big following and a big portion of that following is white and YOU have the opportunity to use your POWER (and, yes, even in fandoms there are different power dynamics because logging onto twitter dot com does not remove the burden of blackness within overtly white spaces, this too is a space where having white privileges will get you places) and talk about these issues that have been becoming more and more prevalent.

our voices are not heard and when they are heard they get twisted by white and non-black fans who prioritize their love for shipping and their male centeredness over racism within fandom and more importantly: racism that is perpetuated by them. a very loud portion of this fandom has painted an image of "angry black women" without ever actually calling them black women because they are socially aware enough to know that it is racist to say so. instead they say it in different ways: they call us rabid, they call us delusional, they call us homophobic straights and love to strip us of our queerness in the same breath, they call us ableists even though this fandom has had several conversations about this, they call us aggressive, they say we are jealous of a mlm ship, they say we are irrational, they call us everything but the one thing we are: black. yet the painted picture is very clear to me and surely every other black person who has ever engaged dominantly white spaces: the big black bully! this is the easiest way to "aggressive black woman" your way through genuine critcism without ever saying it w those words nor acknowledging the thing you are criticized for.

and it becomes even more obvious when you read-over and over again-those attempts at demonizing an overtly black part of fandom (which mel/meljay fandom is and which i will come back to later) while NONE ever mention the things black people ARE saying because whenever you get ratioed for cuck art, whenever you get asked why you erase mel from the story, whenever people ask where mel is in arcane character group arts, whenever you mischaracterize mel for a mlm ship, whenever you strip her of her feelings, whenever you make her an abuser, whenever you dehuminaze her, whenever you deify her, whenever you cry that you cannot criticize her yet dont ever criticize her outside of that ship you so like, whenever any of this happens black fans HAVE and WILL tell you that this is antiblack, its misogynistic, but most of all-since a word for this phenomenon already exists-it is misogynoir. you are participating in misogynoir. your every like is supporting misogynoir. the active erasure of a black woman in fandom is misogynoir. whenever you strip black fans of their credibility to speak out against racism bc we are just "crazy shippers on an agenda", that is misogynoir too. people who arent in this fandom have been clocking this. they see us saying this. they avoid watching the show or engaging w this fandom because the misogynoir is so prevalent here and it is unchallenged by everyone but black people and a few allys who actually mean their shit when they talk about allyship.

the rest of you barely skim our texts or just go "well im not racist so this doesnt apply to me" instead of listening to us trying to explain what the issue is. you guys are so sure that you are a good ally, that you arent racist, that nothing you do is ever misogynoirist, yet you dont even realize that you dismiss or even silence black voices you dont like by villainizing every black fan who wants to talk about this and uplifting every black person who says the things you want to hear. to the point that a black user here can use the hard r and white people are trying to educate black people why that is okay or isnt okay. all while that person even apologized and had to tell you guys to not speak over black people in defense of them. do you not see that you are tokenizing the black voices you deem comfortable while ignoring every voice that asks for a little bit of accountability in your contribution to the horrid antiblackness on arcanetwt?

but, no, no, rest assured this doesnt just apply to the fans but to the character in question too after all there is a reason why meltwt/meljaytwt is so outspoken on this. it isnt about her partner being shipped w someone else, most of us dont even care for the ship, our issue is the constant attempt at erasing her from the relationship she was in and those are two completely different things even if you blatantly choose to look the other way and fabricate lies. mel medarda, despite always being spoken about as beautiful and complex and such a great character, so far even that people say they want her to leave jayce so they can have her for herself, has a very small following. she has less fics on ao3 than the others, barely any x reader ship despite so many people claiming to shipping themselves with her, she gets less solo art and even less w other people or her canonical ship. she is constantly being othered. just recently we had someone exclude her from group art and saying she was the teacher while her same aged peers were drawn as students. to many she simply doesnt exist and if you care about mel, if you actually do like her, if you seek out her content, this becomes abundantly clear real quick: mel does not exist as a main character to arcanetwt.

she is a side character to many of you. she is a side character like any other black women in fiction because you as fans were conditioned by young age to view black women as that. you are surrounded by the sassy black best friend, the angry black woman, the disposable black girlfriend who will always just be a temporary love interest, side character a and side character b - you grew up in a world where you view black women like that. that is why her fandom is so small. just like any other black female characters are small. no other main character gets this type of treatment other than her. and that her fandom is so small is just another indicator for that. and that it mostly consists of black fans is another indicator too because those very often are the only ones capable to see a black woman as a character in herself and not just a nice compliment in a sentence in between. this, too, is misogynoir btw and saying "well i just prefer this and this character" only works so many times before you gotta put the work in and question your racial bias and i am telling you YOU HAVE TO to OVERCOME that and i am telling you that because i too used to not care about black female characters.

i grew up in a very white society and was one of those kids who were trying to be as white as possible to cater to white ppl and i had to actively unlearn to ignore dark skinned women in any media and woah let me tell you once you do you realize there are so many beautiful characters to obsess over and so many new people to meet and it WILL change your view on a lot of things in fandom and it will make you AWARE and that is a good thing. you should be woke. being woke is a good thing no matter how many people say it isnt. its just nobody can do this for you but you yourself. you will see the mistreatment of fans and you will get angry about this and you will get uncomfortable too bc you might be nonblack you might even be white but that is just what it is and how its going to be and i appeal to you to be loud w us as well, to fight for a fandom space where white fans arent the only ones who get to enjoy sillies and whimsicals, where we can move and have fun w/o being confronted w unchallenged racism and people being too proud to work on their biases or even take any critcism, i beg you to not gaf about aesthetics and what you want your blog to look like and i beg you to not gaf about what your peers might think of you bc trust me you do not want to be the person belittling antiblackness for the sake of getting a few likes on an art piece where two people you like smooch.

this affects real black people even if arcanetwt wants to say we arent real or dont care about black issues. this is a black issue just like it'd be w any recreational activity

[jessicaloons]

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince:

Chapter 11

Masterlist - Previous - Next

Miss Americana

"Maman!" Charles said in a hushed voice but his mother only grinned, her eyes darting between her son and her young assistant.

"What? You did talk about her…" Pascale just shrugged her shoulders "Where is my gorgeous, little Ava?"

Lauren just then noticed the stroller behind Charles.

"You were right, by the way…" he said, looking at her.

"Umm-…?" Lauren was confused.

"I gave her a warm bath later on when she was still a little restless." Charles replied and she remembered their conversation again "She had a little cold back then… but she’s umm-… she’s better now."

"That’s good to know, I’m glad." the girl smiled at him, watching Pascale gently picking up Ava from the stroller, giving her the chance to see the little girl from close up "She’s gorgeous."

"That she is…" Pascale cooed.

"Yeah, she really is…" Charles agreed, although his eyes weren’t on his daughter but on Lauren, who didn’t seem to notice.

"Are you done with everything? Ready to close the salon for the next 3 weeks?" Charles asked his mother and Lauren looked at Pascale with big eyes.

"Oh god. I totally forgot to tell you… I’m so sorry!" the hairdresser gasped.

"Oh… umm okay… well yeah, I mean, I was wondering why I couldn’t set up new appointments for the next weeks although the calendar seemed to be empty, but I thought you blocked them because of our little project." the young girl smiled at her boss who sighed.

"No, it’s not okay… you could’ve planned something beforehand for the next weeks and now I leave you behind and all alone just like that…" Pascale said sincerely.

"It’s really okay Pascale. I probably wouldn’t even have planned something. Just stayed here… also, I scheduled the delivery of the new sinks and some other supplies for tomorrow, so yeah, maybe it’s better when we’re closed!" Lauren tried to reassure her "You go and enjoy your holidays with your family. I take care of the delivery tomorrow and then I watch over the salon… maybe I start with the remodelling…"

"No! We’re closed due to holidays! I cannot let you work while I do nothing… and I can’t let you be here all alone when they deliver all this new stuff tomorrow!" Pascale shook her head.

"You can and you will. Please let me handle this, Pascale. After everything you did for me…" Lauren meant what she said, looking at the other woman hugging her granddaughter close to her chest.

Pascale sighed, looking at her young assistant, the girl that got so close to her heart over the last weeks. She didn’t want to leave her all alone. Especially not in her makeshift bedroom in the storage room. The thought of Lauren all alone in the dark room with only one tiny window made her heart clench and she shook her head.

"Charles, how about you come in tomorrow morning and help Lauren with the delivery? We’re not leaving before noon so there’s enough time for that…" she smiled mischievously at her son "I would feel bad if I’d let poor Lauren handle it alone…"

"That’s really not necessary!" the girl in question protested but was shut down by just one look of the older woman.

"You know how these delivery people are! They will drop the stuff right at the entrance and you have to carry around those heavy packages all by yourself! So no, Charles will help you, right?"

"Of course! Yeah… Maman is right, you shouldn’t carry all of that alone. That’s- umm no, I’m coming. Just tell me when I should be here…" Charles said hastily, looking at Lauren.

"Umm-… the mail said they’ll be here at around 8 am so… yeah at 8?" she replied shyly and Charles nodded.

"I’ll be here then."

"Perfect!" Pascale clapped her hands gently, making Ava giggle.

Lauren was tossing and turning, not able to fall asleep. No matter what she did, when she closed her eyes she saw Charles blueish-green eyes and his dimply smile in front of her. His loving eyes whenever he looked at his daughter. Ava. The most gorgeous baby girl she has ever seen. She had her father’s eyes and dimples. A cute little button nose, chubby cheeks and a bright smile that was giving her father’s a run for its money. Lauren was nervous meeting Charles all alone. No Pascale to bridge the awkward silence. Only the two of them. Alone. She didn’t even know why she was nervous. Just that she was. Which was weird. She never felt that way before and she didn’t know if she liked it or not.

"Get yourself together, Rachel." she mumbled into the dark room, sighing after a moment "Lauren. I’m Lauren."

She checked the time and groaned. 1 am already. She turned on her side. Closing her eyes taking a deep breath, Charles face in front of her immediately. But this time she ignored it. Yes, he was attractive. Yes, there were some weird feelings stirring inside of her. But it didn’t matter. He was Pascale’s son. He had a daughter which probably meant he had a beautiful girlfriend or wife as well. Out of her league. Not that she even thought about anything like that. She already had a long enough list of problems. A crush on an unavailable man who’s also the son of her boss wasn’t going to make it on that list. And still it was Charles face she saw when she fell asleep. Unfortunately it wasn’t his face that made her wake up. Sweaty and heavy breathing. Heart racing. She had a nightmare that her father and even worse Tony had found her. Taking her back home against her will. Threatening her life and everyone who was kind to her if she wouldn’t come back. Lauren felt sick. It wasn’t the first time she had a nightmare like this. The first one or two weeks after she ran away were filled with nightmares. But since she arrived in Europe, brought a whole ocean between her and her old life, the nightmares were gone. Or at least she thought so. Lauren sat up and grabbed her water bottle, gulping it almost down in one go. With one hand she was brushing her hair out of her sweaty face, with the other she was searching for her phone to check the time.

"Fuck!" Lauren let out, scrambling out of the bed. 7:58 am. "Why? Why last night? Out of all nights I had to have a nightmare last night!" she mumbled.

Lauren left the storage room, her heart sinking when she saw Charles waiting through the storefront, talking with what looked like the delivery guy.

"I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t hear my alarm!" Lauren unlocked the door, pulling both sides wide open "I hope you didn’t have to wait too long…"

"Oh no, it’s alright..." Charles began with a big smile "We didn’t even wait for…" his smile faded immediately and worry was etched on his features "Are you okay?"

"Huh?" Lauren turned, looking at him.

"You’re awfully pale…" he replied and she just waved him off.

"Oh-… umm… of course. It was just a little stressful when I realised that I’m too late!" she tried to reassure him and then quickly turned to the delivery guy "But now I’m here and we can start…"

"Sure." he nodded and started to unload 3 big and heavy looking packages, dropping them off at the entrance, followed by a handful of smaller packages "That’s all, I need you to sign here… and here…"

"I didn’t even know that Maman planned on remodelling the salon…" Charles said after he sat down the last of the 3 big packages.

"We talked about it and well one thing lead to another…" Lauren shrugged, opening one of the smaller packages "We made a mood board, looked up some stuff online and then we already ordered it…"

"Wow, my mother usually isn’t the spontaneous type. She takes her time making decisions, thinking everything through. You must have made quite the impression on her."

"I told her that the salon looks amazing, there is nothing that needed to be changed!" Lauren quickly replied "I didn’t tell her that she should do it…"

"No! That’s not-… I didn’t mean it like that. Umm- like you talked her into it! I know her, talking her into something doesn’t work. I just meant that the ideas you had must’ve been amazing, otherwise she wouldn’t be on board that quickly!" Charles looked at her with wide eyes.

"Oh. Well, she knows what she wants. And I was just lucky enough ti find the perfect stuff online…"

"Can I see it?" he asked "The mood-board?"

"Oh? Sure…" she searched through her phone, handing it over to Charles "That was the vision…"

He didn’t reply immediately, looking at the design, the different textures and colours.

"Wow…" Charles let out, looking at her "I understand why my mother agreed. It looks amazing, Lauren."

The way he said her name made the girl shiver, taking her phone back.

"It’s nothing…"

"It is. Really. You have an eye for details."

"My mother and I, we used to watch HGTV all day long. The home renovation shows were our favourite. It was either nurse or interior designer for me…"

"Why did you choose being a nurse then?" Charles asked curiously.

Lauren was silent for a moment. Thinking about the best way to answer his question.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry…" he added but she shook her head.

"I wanted to help people. People that got hurt or are sick. So yeah… nurse it was." Lauren replied, swallowing hard.

The truth was, she wanted to become a nurse because she saw what her father and his line of work did to people. A part of her was hoping she could get rid of the guilt she felt over the pain they’ve caused. Another part always had to think back at her mother and the night of their accident. How helpless she felt.

"Lauren?" Charles soft voice made her flinch "Are you okay?"

"Hmm?" she looked at him confused.

"You were a little- umm… absentminded…" he took a step closer, looking in her eyes, noticing the tears gathering.

"Yeah…" she replied, her voice hoarse.

"You sure?" Charles asked when a single tear rolled down the girls cheek and without thinking about it he gently wiped it away with his thumb, cupping her cheek.

"I was just thinking of something…" Lauren breathed out when the door to the salon opened and Pascale walked in, followed by a boy carrying Ava, making Lauren taking a step away from Charles, looking at her boss.

"Are we interrupting something?" the boy, who looked a lot like Charles just younger, asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ferme-la, Arthur!" Charles hissed, making Arthur held up his hand.

"Lauren, this is Arthur, my youngest son… and you know little Ava by now…" Pascale introduced Lauren to Arthur.

"The famous Lauren. I’ve heard so much about you already!" he grinned at her.

"Hopefully good things?" Lauren said nervously.

"Only good things, no not even good, my mother was praising you. Basically everything about you… but saying you’re a really pretty girl was a total understatement…" he winked and Lauren felt herself blush.

"Stop it, Romeo!" Pascale rolled her eyes but had to smirk at the look Charles was giving his younger brother "I brought some breakfast for my little hard workers."

"I’m starving!" Arthur exclaimed.

"I wasn’t talking about you. What did you do besides carrying your niece around? Right. Nothing." Pascale put down a paper bag and two cups on the counter "This is for you two." she smiled at Charles and Lauren.

"That wasn’t necessary!" the girl mumbled.

"Don’t think I didn’t notice how little you eat! You really should’ve accepted my offer and move in with me instead of living in the storage room with no way to cook an-…"

"What? You sleep in the storage room?" Charles made big eyes, looking at Lauren "But-… that room is tiny! And dusty! Is there even a window?"

"It’s fine! There is a window. It’s not dusty. The bed is comfy. It’s just until I got my feet on the ground…" she replied hastily.

"Yeah and you could’ve done that at my place just as good…" Pascale sighed.

"Maman is right! This is just a salon! It’s not safe! Do you know how often there has been break-ins here in the shops?" Charles said, his voice laced with worry "It’s dangerous!"

"This is Monaco… not Nice!" Arthur laughed but stopped as soon as his brother looked at him "But still. Yeah. Dangerous. Living in a shop."

"It’s fine. Really. As soon as my French is better and I can do my qualification and start working as a nurse I’ll look for a flat! Until then, the store is just fine!"

"I don’t kn-…" Charles got interrupted by his phone and he pulled it out of his pocket "Hang on a minute, I gotta take that call…" he groaned groaned, stepping out of the shop.

"Arthur? I need your height!" Pascale voice came out of the storage room and he got up looking around.

"Could you hold her?" he looked at Lauren.

"Of course!" she smiled and took Ava out of Arthur’s hands "Hello, pretty girl." she cooed at her, making the little girl smile "Aren’t you adorable!"

Ava looked at Lauren with her big, bright eyes, cuddling into her chest, making adorable sounds that made Lauren’s heart swell. The little girl was grabbing the strings of her hoodie playing with it, happily chortling.

Outside of the salon Charles ended the call, sighing frustrated when he looked through the storefront, seeing his daughter smiling brightly at Lauren. His heart skipped a beat and his insides began to warm up. Holding Ava looked so natural to Lauren. Like she never did anything else in her life and Charles smiled. He quietly opened the door and walked inside, leaning against the wall, watching his daughter and Lauren. She cooed at Ava, gently caressing her cheek making the little girl snuggle up into her arm, happily giggling. Like in trance Charles watched the scene in front of him, not able to interrupt it.

"Oh wow, look at that, she loves you! Normally she’s super fuzzy with strangers! But with you? Charles, I think you have some competition…" Arthur laughed, walking back in and Lauren looked up, spotting Charles leaning against the wall.

"Yeah… I think so too, she seems to like you a lot…" he replied, looking at her with an intense gaze, making her blush slightly.

"She’s a perfect little girl. It’s easy with her…" Lauren smiled at Ava who yawned a little.

"A tired little girl. Come on sweet girl…" Arthur began, holding out his hands, but Ava turned her head away, snuggling even more into Laurens chest "Hey! You stole my niece from me!"

"I’m sorry." the girl chuckled and looked down at Ava.

"Don’t be… he’s just jealous. Ava has good taste in who she likes, that’s all…" Charles pushed off the wall, walking over to the two girls and his daughter lifted her head, hearing her fathers voice this close.

"But no one beats her dad…" Lauren smiled right as Ava held her hand out for Charles and she carefully handed the little girl over "Understandable…" she whispered underneath her breath.

After a few moments of silence, Pascale came back from the storage room, seeing Charles with Ava in his arms standing close to Lauren while Arthur sat on the counter, scrolling through his phone.

"Alright, I guess we’re done here…" she began "We just have to figure out where Lauren will stay…"

"Here! Like I said. I’ll be fine!" the girl in question protested again.

"No. I should’ve insisted when you moved here in the first place! You’re coming to my place!" Pascale said with a finality in her voice.

"But you won’t even be here for the next weeks! I can’t possibly just move into your apartment without you being there! That’s not right…"

"How about Lauren joins us at our holiday and you can figure out where she stays after? This way she’s not all alone for the next weeks. The house we’ve rented has enough rooms!" Arthur suggested and Lauren looked at him with big eyes.

"What? No-… that’s no… I can’t! This is family! I can’t intru-…" she stammered but stopped when Charles looked at her, a soft smile on his lips.

"You know what Arthur? I think that was the best idea you ever had!" he winked at his younger brother who shrugged his shoulders.

"Then it’s settled. You’re coming with us. No discussion… now come on… let’s pack!" Pascale excitedly clapped her hands together.

Lauren stood in front of the big yacht. Sedici. Sixteen. She turned to Charles, eyes big.

"How rich are you? Renting an entire yacht this size? That must cost a fortune!" she said shocked and he laughed.

"Now imagine how rich someone has to be to own it…" he winked and held out his hand for her to take.

"It’s yours?" she whispered shyly, carefully walking over the gangway.

"Yeah… I bought it last summer…" he nodded.

Lauren was at a loss of words, standing on board of the beautiful yacht. She knew that people in Monaco were richer than usually, it was Monaco after all. But she didn’t expect people to be that rich to have yachts like this. Or at least not normal people. Celebrities? Yeah. Millionaires? Of course. But Pascale had a hair salon. She knew that she wasn’t making a ton of money with it. So she didn’t think she was part of Monaco’s high society, so why would her son be?

"Lauren?" Charles gentle voice coaxed her out of her thoughts and she shook her head "You want me to give you a little tour?"

"Yeah. Sure…" she replied and followed him inside.

The yacht was beautiful. Simple, yet elegant. Everything shiny and sleek. The sofas looked soft and comfy. The beds in the cabins even more so. The upper deck with the steering wheel was her favourite place tho. It had a padded sundeck from where you could overlook the entire yacht.

"We’ll arrive in Ajaccio tonight and tomorrow in the morning we head to Olbia… or rather near Olbia…" Charles explained the route and Lauren looked at him "Don’t worry, I’m a pretty decent captain." he laughed.

"I’ve never been that long on the water…" she mumbled.

"Don’t worry, in the first aid kid we’ve got something against seasickness."

"That’s good to know." Lauren smiled when Arthur climbed up the stairs next to them.

"Everyone on board, we can take off." he said and Charles nodded.

"So, Lauren, will you be my co-captain for the day?" he asked her in a serious tone, too serious, and the girl laughed, a sound that made his heart flutter.

"It would be an honour, captain!" she replied and Charles smiled before he started to explain her the different buttons and displays on the dashboard.

Lauren watched Charles steer the yacht out of the marina onto the open sea with ease, a soft smile on his lips. It didn’t take long and the coastlines of Monaco and France were long gone behind them and after a while there was only the Mediterranean sea on the horizon. Lauren was fascinated with how at ease Charles was, almost as if he wouldn’t do anything else in his life then sailing the oceans. The light breeze in his hair, the dimples on his face, it made him all look even more handsome.

"Alright, we’re on the right course now…" Charles checked the displays and got up from his seat "Let’s go downstairs, meet the rest of the group."

"Yeah… sure…" Lauren nodded and followed him down the stairs.

She was nervous, meeting the rest of the family, Ava’s mother and Charles’ best friend, as he told her would be here as well, but she put on a brave smile and entered the cabin.

"Ahh there you are, we were just getting everything ready for a little lunch!" Pascale smiled at them "I was about to send Arthur up to come and get you…"

"I’m starving!" Charles said, kissing his mother’s cheek "Where’s Ava?"

"Charlotte is changing her diaper." Arthur replied when he walked in, a pretty girl following him "Lauren, this is Carla, my girlfriend. Carla meet Lauren."

"Hi, it’s nice to finally put a face to the name!" Carla smiled at her, pulling her into a light embrace "Pascale talked a lot about you!"

"Yeah, I heard about that…" Lauren replied, smiling at Carla.

"Oh don’t worry, she only said good things about you!"

"There are only good things to say about her!" Pascale added, smiling fondly at her young assistant, making her blush.

The door to the cabins downstairs opened and a breathtaking beautiful young woman walked out, cradling Ava to her chest. Lauren was sure that she must’ve been her mother. Ava didn’t look particularly like her, but just from how beautiful she was, her big smile, she was sure.

"All clean again!" she said in French "Oh, sorry! Hi, you must be Lauren! I’m Charlotte." she switched to English and smiled at her.

"Hi, nice to meet you." Lauren replied.

"Enzo will be out in a minute he had to change, this little one here peed on him…" she chuckled.

"Not funny!" a young man, Enzo probably, said, walking through the door "Hi Lauren! It feels like I already know you from how much Maman was talking about you! I’m Lorenzo, or Enzo, the older brother."

"The oldest. It’s just us…" Arthur whispered.

"Anyways. It’s nice to finally meet you in person!" Lorenzo smiled at Lauren.

"Nice to meet you too." she replied and watched how he gently slung his arm around Charlotte’s waist, pulling her to his side.

The movement felt intimate, lovingly, and Lauren wondered if her assumption, that Charlotte must be Ava’s mother and therefore Charles girlfriend, was right. As if Charlotte sensed her confusion she smiled at her.

"I’m Lorenzo’s girlfriend."

"Oh, okay… I thought that… umm- never mind…" Lauren said hastily when Ava turned her head a little and the moment she spotted Charles and Lauren she began to happily babble.

"Oh, sure, you see your dad and the rest of us is long forgotten…" Charlotte joked and walked over to Charles, but right when she wanted to hand him his daughter the little girl held her hand out to Lauren, chortling "Ohhh look at that…" Charlotte handed Ava over to Lauren and she immediately snuggled into her chest, sighing contently.

"Ouch… looks like you’re not her favourite any-…" Arthur laughed but stopped when Charles looked at him.

"It’s like I said… she has good taste in who she likes…" he smiled, gently brushing over Ava’s cheek "Really good taste."

"Sorry…" Lauren replied and he looked at her confused.

"For what?"

"I don’t know… she umm- she probably wanted to you… not me…" she said quietly and Charles began to laugh.

"Oh stop it, really." he smiled "She likes you, that’s not a bad thing!"

Lauren nodded slowly, feeling relieved and then looked down at Ava, half asleep.

"Oh wow, look! She’s almost asleep! This fast! Lauren, you’re a natural!" Arthur said impressed.

"Who’s a natural?" a dark haired boy walked inside, a plate of veggies and a basket full of bread in his hands "Ohhh the famous Lauren is here! I was wondering when Charles would finally come down and let us all meet you! He wanted you all to himself as it seemed…"

"Very funny, Joris…" Charles rolled his eyes "Lauren, this is my best friend, Joris. He thinks he’s funny… which he’s not…"

"You’re right… I’m not funny, I’m hilarious!" Joris wiggled his eyebrows and smiled at Lauren "It’s nice to meet you, Lauren… these boys went crazy about you, from all the things Pascale has told us about you!"

"Okay, okay, stop now! Leave her alone. That poor girl has to hear from all of you how much I talked about her all the time and feels uncomfortable if you people can’t tell!" Pascale stepped in and Lauren blushed a little "They are right, dear, I told them about you because I wanted you to meet them all. And now that that happened, let’s stop hogging at her like that, will you?"

Everyone mumbled in agreement and Lauren smiled shyly.

"It’s okay…" she said, looking down at Ava who made a little sound, but was still fast asleep.

"Here, you can put her down…" Charles lewd her to the side where a little crib stood and Lauren gently placed the little girl in the middle of it.

"She’s really gorgeous…" she whispered, loving the way Ava’s nose was scrunching up a little.

"She is…" Charles agreed and smiled at the way how Lauren looked at his daughter "Now come on, let’s eat…"

Lauren sat on the deck, stargazing when a shadow to her left caught her eye and she watched Charles making his way onto the deck.

"I guess I’m not the only one who couldn’t sleep then?" he said quietly and she nodded slightly.

"Yeah, I guess I first have to get used to the rocking of the boat while sleeping…"

"Oh. Yeah. That takes a few nights…" Charles chuckled looking at the girl next to him.

Lauren wore shorts and an oversized sweatshirt, her hair a messy bun on top of her head, but to Charles she looked breathtaking and he had to force himself to look away, to not keep on staring at her.

"Can I ask you something?" her voice hesitant.

"Sure."

"It’s really private and you don’t have to answer if you’re uncomfortable."

"Ask me." he knew the question already.

"Umm-… where is Ava’s mum?" Lauren looked at him and he kept his eyes trained on the dark horizon.

Lauren knew that she went too far, Charles was too quiet and right when she wanted to apologise he sighed, tilting his head to look at her.

"She’s not in our life. She never was… she didn’t want to be a mum, didn’t want to keep Ava, so I decided to take care of her alone. As a single dad…" there was some bitterness in his voice "It was a one night stand. A stupid mistake I made and when Ava’s mother came to me for help we wanted to give her up for adoption right after she was born… my life… my job, it’s hectic, stressful. I’m never for long in one place. Always on the road… I had to focus on my career, being a father didn’t fit into my lifestyle. And she didn’t want to be a mother. Not to a child with me at least. She’s from a religious and conservative family, they would’ve disown her if she was pregnant unmarried. Not in a relationship with the child’s father… so yeah, we had a plan…"

"But then you saw Ava and couldn’t do it?"

"No… it was even earlier… I saw her heartbeat on the ultrasound screen and I knew this little thing was mine… and I would do everything for it… flash forward and I have this beautiful little girl…" his voice wavered a little when he held up his phone that showed Ava sleeping in her crib.

"I would say you made the right decision. Ava… she’s wonderful…" Lauren smiled at him.

"Yeah… I know I made the right decision, but it’s hard… being away so often… leaving her behind all the time…"

"Okay, I have to ask this, what do you do for a living?" Lauren looked at him and Charles made big eyes.

"You don’t know?"

"No? How?"

"You’re living in Monaco?"

"And?" she was confused.

"And? Maman? She didn’t say anything?"

"No…"

"Okay… umm- well I’m a Formula 1 driver… for Ferrari…"

"Oh. Wow. That’s cool… I guess?"

"You guess?" Charles snorted and Lauren looked at him sheepishly "I guess you’re not into Formula 1 then?"

"No- not really… some of my family were but I never cared for 20 guys driving in circles…" she shrugged and Charles looked offended.

"Driving in circles? We are not driving in circles!" he gently nudged her shoulder "Ouch. That really hurts!"

"I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!" Lauren chuckled, a sound Charles loved to hear.

"Yeah I can hear that! Unbelievable…" he shook his head laughing "Driving in circles… unbelievable… thank god you’re cute, otherwise I would’ve thrown you overboard!"

"Now you’re exaggerating!" Lauren laughed, although she felt her cheeks reddening.

"Absolutely not!" Charles shook his head.

"I’m very sorry for not knowing who you are, what you do and how big of a thing it is. Please accept my sincere apology." Lauren smiled at him.

"Apology accepted… but I’m coming back to this conversation and then-…" he began when Ava’s faint cries were heard from his phone "She saved you. For now…" he laughed and got up "You should also try to get some sleep…" he held out his hand and Lauren sighed, taking it.

"I guess I have to try and get used to the waves…"

"You definitely have to. We spent a lot of time on the water… and as part of the Leclerc clan, you will too." Charles smiled at her and when Lauren climbed into her bed, she couldn’t stop smiling, thinking about Charles words.

She was part of the Leclerc clan?

Lauren stepped off the dinghy onto the dock, looking at the big house in front of her and she gulped. Never before did she see a house, no mansion, like this before. It was huge. Beautiful. The pool alone was bigger than in some hotels she’s been before. The lawn looked so fresh, green and soft, she just wanted to lay down on it.

"What do you say?" Charles asked her and she tilted her head, looking at him with big eyes.

"I have no words…" Lauren replied and he laughed.

"I take it that’s something good?"

"It is… it really is…"

"Wait until you’ve seen the inside!" Carla took her hand and pulled Lauren with her "When Arthur showed me the pictures I was just… I was speechless!" the younger girl was excited and didn’t stop until they stood in the big living room and Lauren looked around.

It looked straight out of an interior design magazine. Everything was in warm shades of cream, beige and white. The huge windows let in the bright sunlight. The sofas looked like they were made out of the softest of fabrics. But what caught her eye was the big book shelf that spanned across the entire wall. It was like a library, from Shakespeare over Emily Brontë to The Lord of the Rings, a wide variety of different books were to find and she couldn’t stop herself from carefully pulling out a book here and there that piqued her interest. She completely forgot about where she was, or how long she was already looking through the books when Charles voice behind her made Lauren flinch and she turned around.

"What do you say?" he repeated his question from outside again.

"Wow…" was all she could say and he smiled.

"Wow indeed…"

"I was already saying to your mum that I need to find a bookstore so I could buy a book or two because… well this vacation was on such short notice that I didn’t have anything to read… but I guess that won’t be necessary anymore…"

"Nope, there are enough books for you to read…" Charles replied "Ready to see your room?"

Lauren only nodded and followed Charles through the house when he lead her to a hallway with 3 doors on each side. He opened the middle one on the right and walked inside, Lauren right on his heels.

"And this is your room…"

"Always when I think it can’t get any better this place surprises me even more…" she let out and walked over to the big French doors that lead onto the terrace with a beautiful view of the pool and the sea.

"My room is next to yours. I let you unpack and get settled… if you need anything, just let me know." Charles smiled and turned around, ready to leave the girl alone.

"Wait!" she went after him and when he turned around again Lauren hugged him "Thank you. Really."

"You don’t have to thank me!" Charles whispered, gently stroking her back.

"Yes I have to. You didn’t have to take me here with you…"

"I told you last night. You’re part of the Leclerc clan now…" he chuckled and Lauren pulled away a little, looking into his eyes.

"Well… then thank you for that…"

Lauren stood in front of the mirror, pulling the flimsy fabric into place. When she bought the bikinis a couple of weeks ago she didn’t think that she would spent a family vacation with her boss and her sons in Sardinia. But now that she looked in the big mirror in the bathroom she wasn’t sure if going out with what she was wearing was appropriate. She groaned frustrated and tried on the dark red bikini, that covered slightly more but still felt too exposed. She could hear some commotion outside at the pool and carefully pushed the curtain to the side, looking outside. She saw Charlotte sitting on a lounger and she wished she could see what she was wearing and if she was worried for nothing.

"Where’s Lauren?" she heard Carla’s voice from somewhere and stepped away from the window "Lauren?" she knocked on the French door.

"Come in…" Lauren replied.

"You’re missing out on all the fun!" she said when she stepped into the bathroom "Everything okay?" she was looking her up and down.

"It’s inappropriate, isn’t it?"

"What do you mean?" Carla asked confused.

"The bikini, I saw how you looked at it…"

"What? Oh god… no…" she laughed "It’s a bikini? What’s inappropriate about it? I was just thinking that I have the same one, but in a different colour."

"Isn’t it like a little too revealing?"

"And what am I wearing? Half of my ass is out!" she turned around showing Lauren the tight fit of her bikini bottoms "It’s a normal bikini. Were you hiding in here because of that?"

"I… Pascale is my boss… that’s her son’s out there… there’s a baby!" Lauren blushed and Carla gently patted her arm.

"It’s cute that you’re this considerate, but don’t worry. It’s all good! And now come on!" she pulled Lauren with her and together they stepped outside.

It was easy to fit into the group of people and it didn’t take long for Lauren to truly believe into Charles words, that she was a part of the Leclerc clan now.

As the sun was slowly starting to set over the horizon, Lauren stretched a little, soaking in the last rays of sunshine when she decided to have a quick shower before dinner. Only Arthur and Carla were still at the pool, the rest was already getting ready for dinner.

"See you later…" she smiled and got up, making her way over to the terrace, walking straight into, what she thought, was her bathroom. She didn’t notice the lack of her toiletries on the vanity, or the dark swim shorts that were hanging over the towel rack. She only wanted to wash the day off of her and pulled off her bikini top, then stepped out of her bottoms. She stepped inside the shower, starting the water stream and closed her eyes, relaxing. Her skin was hot and dry and she knew that she needed to moisturise her whole body after her shower but for now she just enjoyed the spray of the water. After a couple of minutes she grabbed the bottle of body wash that was provided, lathering her whole body up, it smelled masculine, pine wood and bergamot, but the scent was somehow familiar. She washed the last remaining bubbles off her body and grabbed one of the towels from the shelf, wrapping it around her, before she stepped outside of the bathroom, colliding with a warm, muscular body.

"Oh shit… shit… oh my god… I’m so sorry! I- I must’ve taken the wrong door outside… oh god…" Lauren’s face was flushed, her breathing ragged. She clutched the towel tight to her body, hoping that everything was covered "I’m- I’m so sorry!" she repeated.

"It’s okay… really! Umm- I- I didn’t even look, I didn’t see anything! I mean how? You’re wearing a towel! Do you say you’re wearing a towel? Sounds weird, no?" Charles rambled nervously, turning around and feeling all his blood rush down between his legs, just like when he saw Lauren stepping out in her bikini for the first time earlier today. That damn red bikini that made him feel like an aroused pre teen.

"I just grab my bikini and then I’m leaving! I’m so sorry, Charles…" he heard her walking back into the bathroom "I can’t believe it, this is so embarrassing…" she mumbled.

"Please, don’t be embarrassed! It’s okay, nothing happened…" Charles tried to reassure her but she didn’t reply, after a minute of silence he turned around, Lauren was gone "Damn…" he groaned and let himself fall into his bed, taking a deep breath.

It was only the first day and he was already wondering how he should manage to contain himself for the next two and a half weeks.

"This will be funny…" he sighed.

Chapter 11 - it’s summer break ☀️🕶️🏝️ and the family + Lauren need a little time to relax. They deserve it… and what can I say, Charles will have a hard time watching this gorgeous girl fitting into his life so effortlessly wearing nothing but cute bikinis… more next week 🤭

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@glitterquadricorn @lottalove4evelyn @janeh22 @itsjustkhaos @mariclerc @fangirlforever2000 @guaaafiiburg

[crescenthistory]

hello carinaaaa !!!!! happy 2k :) u are one of the sole reasons for the resurfacing of my love for the marauders and i owe you my life for that truly…

could i request an argue for b5 with marlene mckinnon x reader? been thinking about bartender marlene far too often oh my lord… do you see my vision… reader who comes in once and marlene is teasing them all over the place and reader is like oh ok. i guess i am never drinking anywhere else ever again !!

one of the sole reasons?? baby that makes me so happy to hear, thank you so much for sharing<33 i most certainly see your vision and i'm in love with her

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

i will ARGUE for prompt 5 "bar au" with marlene mckinnon

carina's 2k celebration

✶・•・✦・•・✶・✶・•・✦・•・✶

cw: fem!reader, use of y/n, alcohol (all characters of age), modern muggle au, flirty!marlene, somewhat shy!reader, background pandalily

wc: 1.2k

You could quite honestly kiss Lily for suggesting going to this place instead of the regular pub at the end of your neighbourhood.

It was quite typical that an all-girls bar would open up in your area and you wouldn't hear of it before months had passed, but alas, you were grateful to finally be in the know. Lily had stressed that it wasn't a sapphic bar officially, but that was often what developed once no men were allowed in.

Safe to say, you were giddy.

When you walked in with Mary, Lily and her girlfriend Pandora, who you were enjoying getting to know at last, you were expecting a fun night filled with giggles and perhaps a bit of flirtation. You were mostly just hoping to spend time with your dear friends and let loose in a safe environment that wasn’t one of your crammed flats. 

Which was exactly what you got, until it was your turn to head up to the bar. Pandora had gone for all three of you the first two rounds, whispering something in Lily’s ear afterwards, and when they turned to you with wide smiles asking you to head up, you honestly just thought it was the usual rotation. It’s only fair to share the burden of shouldering in through past all the tipsy girls strewn across the bar. 

Lily waved goodbye to you as you walked away with your list of orders in your phone, turning to giggle into Pandora’s side. You chalked it up to the first few rounds of pornstar martinis getting to your notorious lightweight of a friend.

You turned away from Lily with a smile on your face – and immediately collided into a solid yet soft surface. You almost stumbled at the impact, but two warm hands came up to stabalise your upper arms. 

“Whoa, hey there pretty girl.” In any other bar, the collison and that sentence might have instilled fear in you, but now you just looked up to be met with a wicked grin on the most beautiful blonde girl you had ever seen. She was close enough that the baby pink streaks in her hair splayed across your own shoulder, almost tickling you. She only smiled wider when she saw you staring. “You in a rush or something?”

“I’m so sorry, I was just on my way to the bar, but was looking at my friend over there instead and I–” 

You were rambling, cheeks increasingly heating up as the woman hadn’t stepped away from you. She looked over your shoulder where you had pointed and let go of one of your arms in favour of waving. “Your friend over there, Lily?”

Through any embarrassment and confusion, you perked up. “You know Lily?” 

“Yeah, we shared some classes in uni.” She looked back to you, smile taking on a lopsided quality. “That would make you the best friend, Y/N, right?”

You had to swallow your reaction at hearing her say your name. “That’s me,” you breathed out. Before you could continue with anything, she squeezed your arm and let go of you, stepping backwards.

“Well, princess, I’m Marlene. You wanted something from the bar?”

To your horror, when she steps away you see her wearing a bar shirt uniform, one of the tight black ones with the logo embroidered over your heart. She swept up some empty glasses on the way, looking over her shoulder to beckon you to follow after her. 

She had to know what she was doing to you as she floated away with you on a leash like this, but your head was too cloudy and heart beating too fast to care all that much to resist it. You just followed with a dazed smile, leaning on the bar as she slipped behind it. 

There were people lined up all around the bar, but when Marlene ducked behind it and put the glasses aside, she only looked at you.

“What can I get you then, beautiful?” 

She had this ability to look right into your sould and you had to bite your lip to keep your smile from exploding too obviously. Still, you had teh decency to look side to side a bit shyly. “Is there not a line I should be getting into?”

Marlene leaned in closer to you, giving you a conspiratory smile. “I’ll excuse it this once. Payment for knocking into you.”

You murmured something under your breath about “I think I was the one who bumped into you”, but you read the “humour me” plea in her eyes. You could probably read her every last thought with how close she was, and you couldn’t find it in you to mind.

“Lily and Dora wanted some pitchers for the table. Blue Lagoon and Purple Summer?” 

Marlene wrote the order down on a little notepad on the bar before her without ever taking her eyes off of you. It did funny things to your stomach. 

“And you, darling?”

“Could I get one of the house cocktails? The Midnight Princess?” You had no idea where this shyness in you was coming from, but for once it didn’t feel so awkward. It almost gave you some sort of rush.

Marlene grinned at you. “A princess for a princess coming right up.”

It was a marvel to watch how she moved about behind the bar, grabbing all the ingredients and mixing them together as she went. Expertly avoiding her colleagues as she snuck around, it was almost like watching a figure skater in her element. If her biceps flexed beneath her shirt as she shook the mixers, you didn’t take notice of course.

When Marlene placed your drink on the bar, she kept the two pitchers in her hands. Without a word, she pushed the bar open with her hip and passed through it to come over to you.

“Oh, Marlene you really don’t have to–”

She cut you off with a laugh, clearly endeared by your protests. “Oh but I want to. Believe it or not, it’s not every day I meet a girl as pretty as you.”

With warm cheeks and a dry throat, you made your way over to your table where you saw Lily and Pandora grinning widely at you already. Marlene followed close by, you could feel the warmth radiating off her body and heard the swooshing of the pitchers she held.

“Lils, Panda,” Marlene greeted as she placed the pitchers down on the table. She had stopped right beside you, almost as close as when you ran into her earlier. “Here’s your pitchers. You’ve got great taste.” She winked at Lily in a way that felt knowing, conspiratory.

Marlene then turned to you with a pleased smile. “Lovely meeting you, princess. Come up to the bar anytime you need me.”

With a quick press of her lips to your cheek, she was off. You stared after her for a second before letting your fingertips come up to ghost over your cheek.

When you turned to Lily’s hopeful smile, you were placing some pieces together. “That wasn’t normal service now, was it?”

Lily shrugged, as if she had no idea what she was talking about. “Told you you’d like it here.”

[pixiedurango]

If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate a letter from Illario to Lucanis that is basically him wondering how the hell his awkward cousin managed to attract a hottie like Rook De Riva. (Bonus points for it being my Rook, Adava. I've posted a couple screenshot archives of her.) Thank you very much! This is such a wonderful and fun thing you're doing for the community!

Ding Dong. Another special delivery from the Antivan Postal Service.

We all know Illario is a yapper... this may be the reason why this letter is so crazy long. It's a bit more than just the one requested topic, I hope you don't mind, but I felt, that even Illario would not just kick down the door and starts asking awkward questions about his cousin's love-life. I honestly can't figure, how Lucanis would even answer this letter... Anyway, enjoy!

Transcript:

Cousin, I hope you don’t mind me, bothering you. I know the new First Talon is still saving the world and has probably not the time and even less patience to read from a despicable criminal anyway. Even (or rather because) said criminal is your blood and the closest thing to family you’ll ever have. Beside of course our dear Caterina, who naturally sends her regards (because this way she’s excused to write a letter to you herself. Which of course she would never confirm, and I would NEVER even think. Huh, who wrote that?)

I spend my time doing paperwork for the Diamond recently, since Viago could not be bothered to supervise me all day and night (which I don’t take offensive, I would not want to be my watchdog, either.) Of course no one gives me a contract anymore, maybe there are some with my name on it, but I fear, you’ll find that name in an unfamiliar spot there. No wonder, Viago is paranoid, that something might get out of hand. Which would make him fail his first ever contract from the new First Talon by losing his ward (that would be me).

Not that I wish for this to happen, but then, what is life without the roofs of Treviso in the moonlight, its markets and cafés. The canals and gondolas and the beautiful people in the streets. While I am stuck in the belly of the Diamond. Copying inventory lists.

Anyway, how’s your days? And I mean the parts we don’t get to read in the gazettes or war reports. Allow me to live a little through your new life. I want to know about hat Lighthouse you’re residing in. Living in the Fade is such a weird concept on its own – but being there stuck with a bunch of non-Antivans who are each so different and unique, but you’re still all on the same contract - that sounds like an interesting experience. And they are all so stunningly beautiful and exciting personalities.

Speaking of exciting: Send my kindest regards to that divine but harsh Tevinter detective if you don’t mind, my brother. I’d be very intrigued to get to know other Tevinter people. For a wider perspective, maybe if you want to call it that?

And no, I’m not trying to make a joke here. Or try to push a shady agenda. I just feel that my choices of people from the Imperium was not the… most educated one.

You know what? Never mind, you shouldn’t have to bother with such silly requests and why I feel to ask them from you.

Better we hold onto our words about the things past until we can exchange them in person.

But, you are aware that I simply could have made up a story to make you introduce me to her, right? Or, even better, I just could have written to your Tevinter friend right away, instead of asking you to give my regards…

Speaking of friends. Must be all new and awkward for you, cousin. I can’t remember you having any close acquaintances ever, at all, when we grew up. I would never have thought, you’d have that in you.

Of course now, this all new YOU will not have any more use for your poor cousin - who’s fallen from grace, to do all the nasty ice breaking and socializing for you. And we were such a successful double like that.

Remember that wigmaker job? Vyranthium, I guess. It got you your, moniker, right? Demon of Vyranthium. Just like a creepy foreshadowing, don’t you think? Anyway, what was I talking about? Ah!

You did all the bloody work back then, I happily give you that, but without me? Way more complicated it would have been, I dare say. And even more dangerous as it was already.

Cousin, just think about it. We could rule Antiva together. Or just retire and be the rulers of our own court, whereever that may be - and do what ever we please.

Or did you eventually make peace with being the one in charge? First Talon! So much responsibility. And so large boots to fill.

May Caterina continue to live and rule on for many many more years to come. So you don’t have to step up entirely. Letting her continue to draw strings in the shadows, while you being the representative and handsome young face of the Antivan Crows. That was a clever move from the old girl. Or was it yours? Either way. She could have all that with less drama and an even prettier face, far more willing, to put up with her and her attics. But, well, here we are.

Sorry, I fell back into ramblings about things again, that should be topic for us talking in person. Forgive me. How did I get there in the first place… I have no idea. Maybe this gives you a hint, of just HOW boring the paperwork is, I get to do here. I start yapping. In a letter.

Before I end this pointless lament, cousin, brother! I want to congratulate you. Honestly. Of course, only if it's true, what’s going round within the Diamond and probably the salons of Treviso’s nobility, too. That the new First Talon, known to be the chastest of all Crows, finally decided to seriously court someone. And not only that. It’s even reciprocated this time, as we hear.

A strategic bond with the House of the 5th Talon? I hear that not few people are taking it this way.

But I know you better, cousin. You’d never engage into such an endeavor, when it’s not playing out like in your silly romance novels. (Yes, of course I know what you always hid between your textbooks and under the mattress. Kitsch!) But well, to each their own, I guess. You the books and me the real experience. But you seem to finally getting there, as it seems. Tell me everything, brother! I’ve witnessed you yapping about coffee and kisses goodbye and smarmy stuff like that. You were really into that de Riva girl, right from the start. There goes my last hope, that Adava had, or would ever discover, a soft spot for me behind her wall of professionalism and all business. Just joking, of course, I’m happy for you both. I mean it.

Just don’t let your heart and your… midsection get into the way of a contract. Which in your case would very much unfortunate for all of Thedas. But who am I to give you advice of matters of the heart… (or the midsection) My latest choices weren’t the smartest, either.

Before I end up filling a journal here, I’ll end now. If you want, write me back, I really want to hear about your life and could use any distraction. We’re family, after all. - Illario

Find the other letters here

[pomp-quio]

Thank you to @catos-wound for enabling this but the period between Pharsalus and Philippi feels like a fever dream because it is a fever dream. Rome should have died at Pharsalus but Cassius continues to drag the body around in the belief that it can be revived, the Republic can be saved but everyone else can see the corpse for what it is. Cassius, we're just delaying the inevitable because of your lack of genre-awareness.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

preemptively sorry for how fucking long this is it is YOUR FAULTT THOUGH!!!! large bowl of seeds for u. it is almost 2am sorry.

SO. there are. two ways to assign the prime defenders powers etc. the first way is just, like, categorize their existing powersets within the prt framework, & the second is to give them entirely new abilities based on the way worm works. delightfully, all the powers they Do have work really well for the most part, so even that doesn't require a ton of shuffling.

categorizing their pre-existing powers:

wiwi-- breaker w/ a shaker subclass. neither of them rated very high, but that's already a rare and versatile enough combination!!

dakota-- brute babeeeey!!! brute/mover its so straightforward. hell yeah babey. i don't know what he'll end up looking like post-heart removal & stuff but my guess is that'll end up looking more like a mover/striker.

vyncent-- now THIS one gave me trouble. i... hm. to say this without talking about stuff that i don't think has come up much already, (hey!! you're at that clockblocker pov! directly related to what flechette says!) i'd call him a grab-bag cape, irt the greats at least. post-greats-- again, i don't know what his powerset will look like after this arc! but if he's going all in w/ the fire magic, that would for sure be some striker shit! :]]]

giving them new powers... man i'm reining myself in so hard from five more paragraphs on Why exactly i'm saying all this.

wiwi still breaker for sure, maybe breaker-master, maybe master-stranger. yknow. powers are fluid, the prt categories are pretty rigid. i... don't know. enough about his situation yet to be clearer than that vague idea yet-- i really like the idea of him just. ditching his body & using a noncorporeal form but he still has to keep an eye on his body i think that's great. the noncorporeal form would b able to change its visibility but still b limited by proximity to the body. & fluctuating energy shit powered by fluctuating amounts of recent-death in the area, maybe probably also limited in that it's only accessible in his breaker form.... also i think u will appreciate this style note from the [UNNAMED PARAHUMANS TTRPG] i'm referencing a lot here.

dakota--in this situation he probably would not. have that mechanical heart and shit. he' would still be a mover/thinker-- thinker rating is for faster mental processing + senses imminent pain for the people in his immediate vicinity. not danger, just pain; it immediately registers ambiently & can be generally traced back to whoever it is. no he can't turn it off ever, it manifests as feeling a similar level of pain, yes it works on himself. + mover-- he can fucking fly. no super strength, just very fast flight & the general "won't splat himself flying into something" capabilities, which meshes well w/ the faster processing & reflexes. i'm split on how exactly this would work mechanically but i will NOT go into that now. i am also not going into the 15k discussion in my brain on why dakota 'notoriously bad at thinking about things' cole would be a thinker but u gotta trust the process ok??

vyncent-- trump!!!! somehow this is the only straightforward one to me? he can copy powers at the full strength or ability level of the original for an unspecified amount of time that's usually 1-30 minutes by touching the cape. crucially, he doesn't have any edge on how to use these powers + can easily misuse or become extremely overwhelmed by them. he's easily the most powerful out of the three of them <33

ashe-- ashe is NOT HERE currently and also it's 1:30 am so i gotta go fucking sleep soon BUT they would be a master. easy. :o) they can make some lil guys n do stuff with them!!!!

in general these are pretty fucking cracked abilities, all of them would b oosely above a seven or so in a number rating once they're really settled in their powers-- this is mostly because i'm assuming that they would still be heirs-apparent to the prime force equivalent, which would b the triumvirate :]] anyway. good lord. this is like the cliff notes edition of what i've been thinking and scribbling in the notes app for the past several hours. sorry if it's fucking incomprehensible. gn!!! <333

AAAAAH FUCK YESSSSSS OKAY OKAY OKAY my response is probably going to be equally as long. so it's fine. oooouh buddy.

I KNOW WHAT BREAKER MEANS NOW !!! I dontttt think ive learned shaker yet. breaker is like.... breaking the laws of physics/shifting planes or whatever. PERFECT for william hell yes. for putting them actually in worm world ... ughhhh breaker/master william is REALLY cool. I havwnt learned stranger yet but i think he would develop a complex over being classified as stranger <3 (like how weld doesn't like that he's classified as a brute even though that's not exactly what it means, he just doesn't like the word) . GODDDD just thinking abt putting pd boys in worm is fucking me up haven't they been through enough. I want to see them all in a fit of despair. william ditching his body is SO good I miss when he would do that, also the powers being limited by how far away he is AND THE AMOUNT OF RECENT DEATH IN THE AREA. holy shit. that's so fucking good . im sure he would not overthink at all the fact that he is stronger when more people around him have died . I'm sure he'd do awesome in the leviathan fight for sure for sure .

DAKOTA BRUTE <3 DAKOTA BRUTE/MOVER I LOVE THIS A LOTTTTTT hellbyes. awesome. it's so perfect for him <3 worm world I'm SURPRISED u didn't stick with brute for him. eyes emoji. I trust your judgement but now i am Thinking... Hmm..... YOU BRING INTO QUESTION something I have been thinking about. and I'm going to probably get derailed a little here but stay with me. how the way powers manifest directly relate to the trigger event. because for a WHILE before we learned taylors I was like "OH i bet the powers are going to be directly related to what traumatic thing happened to them" and then we learn about taylor and grue and a couple more and I kind of lost that theory because while you can. technically draw relations between their powers and their events it seemed like too much of a stretch to do . HOWEVER now my thinking has changed AGAIN and I think the powers ARE related to specific trigger events but it's not as straightforward as "oh something scary happened to you with bugs so now you have bug powers" I think it's gonna be more complicated than that. WHICH. THE WAY THIS RELATES. BACK ON TOPIC NOW. to DAKOTA . assuming his trigger event is still he and katori falling off the building I think it's AWESOME that his powers would manifest as FLIGHT for one. and the fucking. pain sense thing. fuck me up. dakota extreme hero complex cole would be so fucked up by a power where he ambiently senses pain from the people around him at all times and cannot turn it off. I'm sure he would feel so normal about being around william chronic pain wisp 24/7. also I can SO CLEARLY imagine how this power specifically would lead to him getting super overwhelmed in chaotic situations like he does in canon. and just fucking. bolt out of there because it's too much. again. he'd have such a wonderful time in the leviathan fight

I AM AT CLOCKBLOCKER POV !!!! actually technically I'm on kid win pov now but I haven't finished his chapter yet. vyncent grab bag cape..... yeah... I think it would be EXTREMELY funny imagining the PRT in pd world trying 2 classify vyncent like. what the fuck does this kid do . what do we do with him. hes got other guys in his head that give him powers. is he a master??? no he can't fucking control them. is he a striker??? only SOMETIMES. is he a blaster?? AGAIN ONLY SOMETIMES. cannot classify him bitch!!!!!!!! giving him worm powers though.. UGH. being able to touch someone and COMPLETELY copy their powers but only for a short period of time???? I fucking love that a lot. he WOULD be the most powerful out of them!!! I can hear taylors inner analysis dialogue about him now and it's very similar to the clockblocker "DONT LET HIM.TOUCH YOU" panic. loooove imagining this playing off of the rest of pd,,, i know there was AT LEAST one time where he had william sort of transfer some of his ghost powers for a minute? I think it was during the lich fight in the theatre but i just remember vycnent floating and going intangible and NOT KNOWING how to control it or anything. loveeee that. in world dynamics I feel like vyncent would be a late addition to their team (instead of coming from another world maybe he just. had his trigger event happen way later than the other two..or something.) and not trusting them as much at first/being REALLY shaky using either of their powers but after a while being really comfortable in a fight with using either Williams or dakotas powers in a fight. Just like. imagining the fluidity of how they'd work together in a tense situation assuming they're not being complete dumbasses <3333 UGH it's really good

AAAASHE ASHE ASHE IM SOOO SO GLAD YOU INCLUDED ASHE IN THIS I miss him.so much every day. from what I know so far master involves having/making/controlling some sort of minion (cannot think of a better word than that rn) AND I THINK THATS REALLYYYY perfect for ashe. i assume he would actually work pretty closely to canon in that his limitation would be the book? or if he doesn't have the book maybe his limitation would be a) having only a few different types of things he could summon (the big hand, the water fairy, duck etc) and/or b) only being able to control them.for a short amount of time after they're summoned so he has to be quick about dismissing them. can't keep the demon hand around for too long or it might start picking things up and throwing them at random. putting teammates in danger bc he can't control it anymore etc etc. alsooooooo in clockblocker pov they VERY briefly mentioned the possibility of having secondary trigger events (?!!!!?!?!) and you know I locked onto that SO FUCKING HARD. ashe being born with powers and then his secondary trigger event being his mom's death <3 im.NOT even going to attempt to talk about how the trickster would work in worm world/if it would even exist in this setting bc i don't know enough about the types of powers and things yet..but just know. I am keeping this in the back of my mind "this is a fun surprise tool that will help us later" style

[arolesbianism]

I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman

[jikigo]

you ever just see a post and just

. 😭

.⬅️🫀⬅️

[zemnarihah]

hm. my dad is now aware that i have slept over at eriks when i visit him.

[savage-rhi]

I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.

[mobpd]

I'm such a coward. tried to at least get deep enough as a preparation to slit my wrists but I couldn't even get to the second layer. and it's not even like i don't like to hit styro, i'm just being a little bitch about it

[jadedbirch]

Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:

- shorter time between periods

- irregular periods

- hot flashes and/or cold flashes

- fucked up sleep

- OMG NIGHT SWEATS

- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert

- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants

- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times

This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.

Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:

- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.

- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.

- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.

- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.

- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀

- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)

- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).

I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.

Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)

Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I think the reader's response to this post is probably going to either be "That's incredibly minor" or "Holy shit YES I'M ALSO PROUD", depending on people's personal experiences with academia, but:

Today I am incredibly proud of one of my students.

In the interests of disguising identities, let's call them Ceri. Ceri is one of my third year undergrads (meaning their final year, for anyone unfamiliar with UK uni systems.) They transferred to us last year, and within two weeks I was giving them the contact info to get to Student Services and get themself screened for ADHD; they have some mental health struggles, but I clocked pretty quickly that they STRUGGLE with procrastination, and punctuality, and attending 9am lectures in particular. Naturally, as is the way of my people, it took them a further four months to remember to go to the screening. Lol. Lmao. Rofl, in fact.

But, they did it eventually! Their screening lit up like a Christmas tree at the ADHD section, and they got a free laptop and optional one week extensions and a study support worker named Claire. This has helped tremendously, and although mental health + until-then-unsupported ADHD meant their academic profile had slid sideways somewhat, with the new tools available and a couple of resits they passed the year and hit this year running.

Until, that is, the last fortnight.

Now, I take them for a Habitat Management module that has two assessments: an academic poster presentation before Christmas, and a site-specific management plan in May. Naturally this means we are at that happy point in the year for the poster presentations. I give out the briefs at the start of the year, so they've had them since October; I've also been periodically checking in with them all for weeks, to make sure they don't have any major burning questions. The poster presentation was to pick a species reintroduction project, pull the habitat feasibility study out of it, and then critique that study; Ceri chose to look at the hen harrier reintroductions proposed for the southern UK. All good.

Which brings us nicely to today! Ceri's presentation is scheduled for 2.30. At 11am-1pm, I am lecturing the first years on Biodiversity, while Ceri is learning about environmental impact assessment with a colleague I shall call Aeron. This means we are separately occupied during those same hours.

Nevertheless, Aeron messages me at about 12.

"I think Ceri needs to see you after your lecture," he writes. "They're panicking, I genuinely think they might cry. I'm worried. Are you free at 1?"

I say I am. At 1, I get lunch and sit in the common area; Ceri comes to see me. To my personal shame, imagine all of the following takes place while I stuff my face with potato.

Now: this part is going to be uncomfortably familiar to anyone who has ever tried higher education with ADHD, especially unmedicated. It certainly was for me. All I can say is, I never had the courage to take the step here that Ceri did.

"I have to confess," they said quietly, and Aeron was right, they were fighting back tears. "My mental health has been so, so bad for the last fortnight. I've left it way, way too late. I don't have anything to present."

"Nothing at all?" I asked.

"I've been researching," they said helplessly. "I found loads on the decline of the hen harrier. But it wasn't until last night that I finally found a habitat feasibility study to critique. Generally... I've been burying my head about it, and it just got later and later. I thought I should come in for Aeron's lecture, and I should at least tell you."

This part is a minor thing, right? But honestly, I remember being in the grip of that particular shame spiral. I never did manage to tell my lecturers to their faces. I just avoided. I honestly can't imagine having the courage it took them to come in and tell me this, rather than just staying home and avoiding me.

"I think..." they said hesitantly, "I know I can submit up to a week late, for a capped mark. I think I need to do that, and apply for extenuating circumstances. But then I'll have both Aeron's assignment and yours due at the same time."

Which meant they would crumble under the pressure and likely struggle to pass both; so me, being as noble and heroic as I unarguably am, stopped eating potato and said, "Let's make that plan B."

(It was good potato. I am a hero.)

So, we made plan A: I moved their timeslot to 4.30, giving them three and a half hours. The shining piece of luck in this whole thing was that this was the crunch time assignment - if it had been Aeron's, they'd have had to try and write a 3000 report in that time. But for me, all they had to write was an academic poster, and those things are light on words by design. We found them a Canva template, and then we quickly sketched out a recommended structure based on the brief: if it's habitat feasibility, look at food availability, nesting site availability, and mortality risks in the target release site. Bullet point each. Bullet point how well the study assessed each. Write a quick intro and conclusion. Take notes as you go, and present the poster itself at 4.30.

"You think I should try?" they asked doubtfully, looking like I'd just asked them to go mano-a-mano with a feral badger.

"If you run out of time, so be it," I said. "But your brain is trying to protect you from a non-existent tiger. That's why you've procrastinated - it's been horrible, and you've been shame spiralling, and your brain is trying to shield you from the negative experience; but it's the wrong type of help for this situation! So while you're sitting there working on it, hating life, every time your brain goes 'This is hopeless, I can't do it', you think right back 'Yes I can, it just sucks.' And you carry on. Good?"

"Good," they said. "I'm going to mainline coffee and hole up in the library. Enjoy your potato."

And then, of course, I had to go and watch the other students' presentations, so that was the end of me being any help at all. I spent all afternoon wondering if they were going to manage it, or if I would be getting a message at 4.25 telling me they'd failed, and would have to submit late and hope for an EC.

And Tumblrs

Tumblrs

Let me FUCKING tell you

They turned up at 4.15, fifteen minutes early, wearing a mask of grim, harrowed determination and fuelled by spite and coffee, and they pulled up that poster and started presenting and yes, okay, I'll admit their actual delivery was dramatically unpolished and yes, they forgot to include the taxanomic name for the hen harrier on the poster and yes, fine, I admit that there were more than a few awkward moments where they lost their place in their hastily scribbled notebook but LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU -

They smashed it. It was well-critiqued, it had a map, it had full citations, it had a section on the hen harrier's specific ecology and role in the ecosystem, it had notes on their specific conservation measures. They described case studies they'd read about elsewhere. They answered the questions we threw at them with competence and depth. There was analysis. All that background research they'd done came right to the fore. They were even within the time limit by 15 seconds.

You would never have known they'd produced it in three hours, from a quivering and terrified mess fighting the bodily urge to dehydrate via tear ducts. After they left, the second marker and I looked at each other and went "So that was a 2:1, right?"

I caught up with Aeron downstairs and he was beaming. Apparently Ceri had seen him on their way out, and had gone over to talk to him. Aeron said the difference between the Ceri of this morning and the Ceri of then was like two different people; in four hours, they'd gone from their voice literally breaking as they admitted the problem, ashamed and broken, to being relaxed and happy and smiling.

"I reckon I've passed," they apparently told Aeron, pleased. "Maybe even a 2:2. There's things I wish I'd had the time to do better, but I'll be happy if I passed."

They won't know until late January what they got, because we're not allowed to release marks until 20 term days after hand-in, and the Christmas holidays are about to hit. But I'm really hoping I can be there when they're released.

But mostly, I'm just... insanely proud of them. I cannot tell you how happy I am. And I know, I know, obviously this is not a practice I would want to see them do regularly, or indeed ever again, and it only worked because they were fucking lucky with the assignment format, but like... when life is just punching you in the face, and you hit a breaking point... isn't it nice? That just this once, you pull off a miracle, and it's fixed? The disaster you thought was about to ruin you is gone? To get that relief?

Anyway. Super super proud today.