#i always wonder what wouldve happened between them if she would have stayed :(
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ER 6x19
#er#er nbc#nbc er#eredit#carol hathaway#luka kovac#otpsource#tvfilmsource#julianna margulies#goran visnjic#i always wonder what wouldve happened between them if she would have stayed :(#im hardcore doug/carol but these two were also really cute :((((
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Actually, here is an alternative thing for you to occupy your time with, and a question I have been meaning to ask you for a while. I have finished 911 finally! So I'm ready for the new season. And I wonder, realistically, what do you think the roadmap would be for a buddie endgame?
I absolutely see how their story has been framed and filmed in a lot of parallels to how a romantic storyline would be set out. But there has been no outright mention of either of them being bi - although the conversation about Maddy setting Buck up with whassisface was very casual and could very easily have been an example of canonically bi Buck - and they are both at the end of season 4 in 'relationships' with women.
So, in your estimation, what's the timeline? What's the transition? How do they go about this and how long does it take? I wanna know your thoughts 👀
okay yes i have lots of thoughts on this and it's actually one of my fave questions i get asked. I've always watched a lot of tv shows so I'm just estimating on what I've seen before and what I would personally do. IMO this love story is a slow burn. We only have four seasons so far and only three of those seasons have Eddie in them. This unsurprisingly got long so ill put it under the cut.
So I'll go by seasons bc to me its important to look at everything that has happened so far by seasons and by love interests and not as a whole. Its the best way i can form a timeline that I think would make the most sense and why
S1: So we don't get any hints at Buck being anything other than straight and I think this is because he was supposed to be. They hadn't planned for Eddie yet and they definitely hadn't planned for the chemistry Oliver and Ryan were gonna have. S1 Buck was this reckless kid who didn't take anything serious. He was definitely super immature. Then he meets Abby and he starts to get serious about his job and his love life. I'm not gonna say "Abby changed him" because she didnt. He saw the person he was and the person he was becoming and decided on that change himself.
S2: Eddie!!!! So we get introduced to this army medic turned firefighter in the least heterosexual way. Then Buck is angry because Eddie is hot and really good at his job. they work together and Eddie compliments Buck and now they're smiley bffs. Seriously wtf was all that? Anyway this is all sus bc from what ive seen before in other shows when a main love interest leaves and a new main character replaces them, that means something. JLH replaced Connie Britton as far as big name actress but i really believe Eddie replaced Abby as far as importance in Buck's life. Do i think they brought him in with the intentions of turning him into a LI? No but they sure fueled the narrative from the get go. I think they saw fans reactions and started testing the waters.
Moving on to LIs in this season. We find out Eddie has a kid and the mother is not in the picture (eddie made sure buck knew that right away). Then later on we find out he's technically still married. shannon comes back and we get Eddie finally getting to confront this head on. He tries to get his family back together for the sake of his son. Its big for Eddie's character bc all he does and all he's ever done is for his son. Then Shannon asks for a divorce then she dies bringing this arc to an abrupt end and leaving eddie heartbroken.
meanwhile Buck is still waiting for Abby. Then he finally accepts that shes not coming back and decides to move on. He goes right back to being "Buck 1.0" with Taylor and feels bad about himself because that really isnt him anymore. He wants a real relationship. So then Ali calls and asks him on an actual date and he agrees. This is his first try at a relationship after a heartbreak. in tv these don't usually work out but are used to develop the main character's growth. We don't really see much of her but she breaks up with him so.
S3: This is Eddie finally dealing with his feelings/guilt season. This is also the season I think we really see how important Buck is to the Diaz boys. S2 had cute buckley-diaz family moments but those could still be interpreted as a best friend and his best friend's kid. This season though... after the tsunamic episode was when i really started to fully believe buddie was going canon. This season is solidifying their bond not only as Buck and Eddie but as Buck Eddie and Christpher. As I'm writing this I realized neither of them really has a love interest in this season do they? Ana is introduced but then is clearly presented as definitely NOT the right choice for eddie and especially for Chris. Then they counter that with Buck helping Eddie build a skateboard for Chris that he can use as opposed to Ana's ablest remarks about how he can't do it so just move on to something else. Then we get Buck's reaction in Eddie Begins. Buck has seen his team his friends his family get hurt on the job before but he has never reacted the way he did when it was Eddie in danger. Again solidifying just how much these two mean to each other. Don't even get me started on this season being when Eddie changes his will offscreen. Anyway we get Abby back and Buck finally gets the closure from that relationship that he needs to move forward into a serious relationship.
Now S4: jfc s4....IMO this is the only logical season to get the ball rolling on Buddie and they sure did that with 4x14 despite everything else. So i never thought they would be the first serious relationship for each other after the heart break theyve both experienced. It wouldn't be fair to their character developments. Buck tries dating Veronica and that clearly doesnt work but we know hes now open to dating again. We get Buck Begins where we see why Buck is the dare devil he is. The only way he got his parents attention as a kid was to put himself in danger. They bring back taylor and how to they ultimately get together after she friendzones him? She thinks hes in danger and suddenly wants him. As much as i hate it this is really gonna be a relationship where Buck finally stands up for himself and sees his own worth and realizes he deserves more. He deserves someone who sees him and loves him for who he is. He deserves to be chosen, something Abby Ali his parents dont do and what i think taylor wont end up doing. I feel like shes gonna choose her career over him. Maybe not in a "I'm breaking up with you" way but maybe she takes a new job and want to do LD (hes tried that twice and it didnt work for him. hes not gonna want that) or she could ask him to go with her but he wont. His family is in LA. His job is in LA. Eddie and Chris are in LA and he won't leave them. Then we have Eddie finally deciding to move on and try dating again so they bring back ana. To me it's not gonna work out so I'm not bothered at all lmao. It's interesting that they'd choose her though. Someone we already know Eddie doesn't trust with his son. There's also more buckley-diaz family scenes of them being coparents. The hildy episode, Chris running to Buck when hes mad at eddie, Buck being the one to tell Chris Eddie got hurt, then Buck staying with Chris and taking on the guardian role without him even knowing just how much that role really does belong to him. He didn't do it out of obligation. He didn't do it because he was asked to. He did it because he thought it would be best for Chris. Finally to 4x14. This is by far the biggest "Oh shit this is it. This is the beginning of buddie". We find out Eddie changed his will a year ago and has just been sitting on this info. I think Eddie knew back then what it meant but he wasn't in the right mindset to accept what it means so he kept it to himself. I think he finally started allowing himself to go there during treasure hunt. The man was jealous yall. Carla coming back and her comment about doing whats best for him and not chris is his oh shit moment. I think he wouldve broken up with Ana a few days after that if he had the time lol. He gets caught up in the mother/son sl then this poor mf gets shot by a sniper. The way that whole scene was filmed btw was not in a bff way. That was a lover watching his beloved almost die in front of him. Buck again puts himself down and Eddie decides this is the moment. He needs Buck to see how important he is. He wants buck to know how loved he is. So he sits there talking himself up to it and finally lets Buck know just how big of a part he is in Eddie's family. Buck's previous scene is him saying he wants someone who wants him back then here is Eddie saying he needs him...Chris needs him. wtf.
So with S5: I think Eddie knows and Buck has a feeling but he's not sure so what i would do is spend s5 with Eddie basically showing Buck his feelings but not exactly getting in the way of Buck's new relationship because Buck has to be the one to make that choice. Id also have chris feeling the different shift with buck having a gf like he did with Eddie. This newfound info wasnt just dropped on us for a "Aww so sweet" moment. This will business is gonna be a part of a bigger storyline. I'm hoping its with Eddie's family during maybe 5b.
So what I think would be the best timeline for canon buddie is 5a eddie already having either broken up with ana or is gonna break up with her, Buck choosing himself and ending things with Taylor by midseason finale, them bringing in Eddie's family in 5b and maybe then being when Eddie confesses his feelings for Buck. Then 6a we could get them walking on egg shells around each other not really knowing what to do bc this is all so new for both of them. This could bring just the right amount of comedy and angst especially them awkward and flustered around each other at work. A big blowup can happen between them for added angst (maybe an arguement before one of them or both of them is put in danger) then a midseason finale kiss. Then trying to find the balance between their personal relationship and their work relationship during 6b.
I don't know how long Fox shows last but procedurals can last a long time. I'm not sure thats gonna be the case for 911 especially with all the main cast staying that long so i think this would give us at least a whole season (S7) of canon buddie.
As far as then being presented as straight, there's been more seeds planted about buck being bi. A few i can remember off the top of my head: all of 2x1 lmao, maddie's comment about bucks boy crush on eddie, buck hinting at thinking eddie is cute when he thinks maddie is talking about him, the christmas elf, the comments on the instagram livestream, idk if youve watched it or not but TK's comment to Buck in the crossover episode, and like you mentioned Maddie's casual comment about setting him up with Josh. All we really know about Eddie's love life is he married Shannon when they were young and is trying with Ana so it could turn into a whole storyline for him.
I'm so sorry this is so long and took forever but i I hope i actually answered your question and didnt just get lost in rambles lmao.
#oh god that took me way too long lol#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#911onfox#is this meta?#wtf even is that#buddie meta#??#idk
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The Surfer And The Siren
Chapter Two:The Blondes,The Dog and The Girl in the Woods.
Chapter One
@kelsiejayy designed this mood board :)
“Why is it always the blondes?”Richard asked.You shrugged,folding the snack bag closed. “They remind me of him.”You answered.Richard just nodded,pulling the strings of the bag tight. “Will you tell him stories about me when im gone?”Richard asked.You pouted. “You’ve still got a few more years,Rich.”You mumbled.He just chuckled. “Lets get going,weve got thirteen hours to go.”he locked the door as you walked out.You two got into his older car,driving down the bumpy roads to his house.You ran up the small grassy hill and up to the front porch,kneeling to pet Blue on his stomach.You then ran inside,jumping onto the couch and holding your favorite pillow to your chest.Richard let the dog in,going into the kitchen to show you that he had already set out your favorite cookies.ayou ate seven before you ran into the backyard to see how much taller the sunflowers had grown since the last time you had been over to the house.You rolled in the grass,lifting yourself into a tree and giggling loudly.
It felt like it had been a long time since you had even touched a tree.Probably because it had been.Richard placed his phone on the outdoor table,allowing your favorite songs to play.There was some Queen,some Disney,some instrumental and some early 2000’s music.You got down from the tree,telling him you were going to take Blue for a walk.Richard nodded,standing up.He wasnt as fast or energetic as he had been 60 years ago.He couldnt give you piggy back rides anymore or play soccer in the middle of the woods.It didnt really matter though.He was still good old Richard with his shitty jokes and his big grey hound.You grabbed Blue’s leash,clipping it to his collar.RIchard shouted to you to let you know that you could go without him.You ran down the street,racing the large dog all the way to figure eight.You ended up on the beach behind the kook mansions.You had watched as they had been built all those years ago,wondering what kind of rich straight white dudes were going to move in there.
You were unaware of the camera watching you from a tall tree,oblivious to the notification that was sent to Rafe Cameron’s phone.Blue leaned against you,laying down at your feet.You sat indian style,allowing the dog to rest in your lap. “Are you a handsome baby?”You grinned,tapping the dogs nose.He sneezed,moving upwards to look your chin.Rafe came up behind you,his eyes focusing on your hair.He hadnt been prepared or even thought about what he was going to say.He just didnt want to miss you. “Hello?”You called out,feeling someone looking at you.He inhaled sharply and his fists clenched. “Sorry,sorry-I didnt mean to scare you.”He spoke awkwardly.Blue sat up,staring him down and growling.You looked over your shoulder,grip tightening on Blue’s leash.That wasnt Ward.Ward was a normal person,he aged.You had watched him age. “Ward?”You asked,not calling off Blue.Rafe shook his head,not being able to form words.You dragged your fingers along the back of Blue’s neck to calm him.The dog leaned into your touch,slumping against you.
“Um...Im Rafe-Rafe Cameron.My dad’s name is Ward,though.”He answered.You nodded,standing up and brushing the sand off of your clothing.He looked just like Ward when he was in his early twenties.Ward had always been a bit of the sketchy type but never too bad.He wore his long sleeve shirts rolled up to his elbows,socks and sandals and always had some sort of fancy watch clinging to his wrist.You had been to the Cameron’s dock countless times just to check if Ward Cameron was still alive and walking.You wrapped Blue’s leash around your wrist so he wouldnt go too far. “I like your hair.”He spoke,pointing to the blue curly mess.Your eyebrows fell over your eyes,Blue sensed the tension and licked your fingertips.He glanced up at the tree where the camera was hidden before looking back up at you. “Okay.”You mumbled,not wanting to continue the conversation.He didnt have good intentions.It felt like you were talking to Ward,In fact,you could remember Ward telling you the same thing.Rafe sucked in a big breath,looking down at Blue and trying to ease his mind.
“Is this your dog?”He asked,gesturing towards the greyhound.You gulped,glancing around the beach for other people. “Friend’s dog.”You answered,your voice hitting him like a wave.He stumbled a bit,deciding to just sit down.His legs couldnt hold his weight and it seemed like his head was full of wet cotton.He felt exhausted and not just from running down the road.He nodded,hands in his lap. “I will see you around,Rafe Cameron.”You spoke softly,allowing the power to sink into the air.It was probably enough to enchant the boys inside houses across the whole neighborhood and more than enough to cause Rafe to fall forward with his eyes closed.You grinned,biting down on your lip and holding back a chuckle.Men were just too easy.You jogged back up the sand and to the street,seeing a boy asleep on his lawn.It only made your smile widen as you ran back to the cut,Blue panting as he sprinted with you.When you got to the cut you were a sweating and panting mess,laughing at the feeling of pain in your kneecaps.
You kept running,savoring the sore feeling at your ankles and heels as your feet smacked the cement.When you got back to Richard’s Blue had dragged himself up the stairs tiredly to drink some water.You went inside the house,leaving the door open for Blue and laying down on the couch.Your cheeks were flushed,your skin damp from sweat. “Did you have a good run?”Richard asked.You nodded,sitting up. “I didnt know that Ward Cameron had a son.”You frowned,pushing the blue hair from your face.Richard gulped,sitting down in his reclining chair. “You saw Ward Cameron?”He asked nervously.You shook your head. “Just his son.Strange looking boy...kind of like Ward with moist hair.I didnt tell him my name,just Blue’s.He’s asleep on the beach as of right now.”You explained.He nodded,opening a bag of skittles.You giggled. “God,do you remember back in 82’ when those things first got to the store?”You asked.He nodded. “How could I forget?I was trying to get you a bag but the buggers were sold out.The rich boys were mixing them with vodka and throwing up on the streets.”He let out a wheeze like laugh.You grinned at the memory,holding your pillow to your stomach.
“The boy...JJ.Do you know him well?”You asked.Richard raised his eyebrows,shaking his head as he poured skittles into his palm.You sighed,leaning back. “He looks like him...I saw them while I was out today.JJ and Pope,I mean.They were with another boy and a girl.The other one….I forget what he’s called.He looks like an Adam,though.He’s very terrible at surfing,I had to rescue him during a storm.And the girl...she was diving near the caves to clean up trash that had sunk.I feel drawn to them like im supposed to be part of their group.It was that feeling I had when I saw you on the beach on the night we met...I knew it would lead to something good.”You tried your best to explain your feelings.He nodded,reclining in the chair and stretching out his sore legs. “I understand,(Y/N).But I dont know enough about these kids to let you go around them.Im not trying to control you,Im just concerned for your safety.You’ve seen it all before where your kind gets involved with the wrong human folk and winds up dead or trapped in a tank.You cant let that happen,I cant let that happen.I’ll learn as much as I can about them,okay?”He asked.
You sighed,watching as Blue slowly walked in and sat by the door. “I wouldve felt if he had bad intentions or anger,he didnt.When I was out for my swim they tried to find me again to make sure that i was okay.If they were bad they wouldnt have done that.”You mumbled.He nodded. “But they didnt know who you are and what you are.Maybe if they had they would act differently but I dont exactly want to find out.Let me learn about them first,alright?”He asked.You nodded as he turned on his television. “Netflix has new films this month,why dont you flip through them until you find something you’d like to watch?”He offered,leaning forward and handing you the warm black controller.You grinned,biting your bottom lip as you watched the preview for H2o Just Add Water. “Hey-hey Richard.”You laughed.He looked up at the television,holding back a laugh as his nostrils flared. “No-nope.”He shook his head.You laughed,looking through the episode titles before snorting. “Siren effect!”You giggled.He sighed,pinching the bridge of his nose. “If that is what you want to watch than go for it.”He grinned.
You shook your head,going back to the home page.You settled on a show called I Am Not Okay With THis.You werent really paying attention because you were too busy thinking about all the things you wanted to do in such little time. “It really sucks that we cant go into the woods like we used too.”You sighed.Richard frowned,nodding in understanding. “You know that its not safe for you out there alone.”He reminded you.It was dangerous for anyone to go out at night especially young girls.The Cut had some pretty dangerous places that became even more dangerous at night. “Do you think I could go if Blue came with me?”You asked.Blue’s ears perked up at his name,his mouth falling open in a dog smile.Richard nodded hesitantly. “Alright.Dont go too far and stay away from the graveyard.”He leaned back in his seat.You grinned,standing up.You didnt bother with the leash,hopping down the front steps excitedly with Blue right behind you.You didnt think you’d ever get used to the smell of grass and the feeling of dirt between your toes.Your hair got caught in a few branches but you couldnt care less.
You could see the faint green glow of fire flies a few feet away. “Why do I always have to get the firewood?They’re perfectly capable but no,no of course theyre just too high to do basic things.”A feminine voice ranted to herself.There was no way of telling exactly how far away it was but you assumed it was pretty close when the fireflies dispersed.Blue barked softly,a growl coming from her throat. “Hello?”The voice called upon hearing the noise.You huffed,silently thanking the gods that you wouldnt have to speak to yet another boy. “Hello.”You replied,finally seeing the owner of the voice.Her dark hair was tied into a fancy french braided bun that probably took years of her childhood to master.Her skin was the color of werther’s chewy caramels.She wore a white and black hoodie that was large and a bit baggy on her small frame along with a pair of light shorts.You knew she probably couldnt make out your features in the dark.That was one of the advantages you were grateful for.You had always been able to see close to perfectly in the dark which definitely helped with your insecurities when you knew for a fact that others couldnt.
“Why are you in the middle of the woods?”She asked.You held onto Blue’s collar so he wouldnt lunge at the pretty girl. “The dog needed to pee,what about you?”You asked.She giggled,playing with her fingers nervously as her legs got a tingly feeling. “Oh-um-firewood.What’s your dogs name?”She asked.You slowly let go of the collar.Blue walked forward eagerly to sniff at the girls shorts,hands and shoes. “Blue.”You answered.She kneeled down to pet the large dog as he sat down in front of her,licking a slimy streak on the side of her face. “And what’s your name?”She asked,directing the question towards you.You grinned upon realising that this was her.This had to be a sign. “(Y/N).”You answered,watching as her face fell and her mouth fell agape.You were the girl JJ spoke so fondly of.She could absolutely agree with him about your voice.She had never heard one quite like yours with that weird accent.
You could probably make some really incredible ASMR if you wanted too. “Do you….by any chance have blue hair?”She asked.You smiled to yourself. “That would be me.”You confirmed.She blushed,biting her lip. “Im Kiara.I think you know my friends,JJ and Pope.”She muttered.You hummed,swatting a mosquito away from your face. “I met them briefly.”You told her,snapping your fingers by your side to get Blue to come back to you.You rubbed the back of his left ear,seeing Kiara stand up straight again.The original blue was missing part of his left ear after getting into a fight with a rat the size of a puppy.That was definitely in the top ten scariest moments of your life.You and Richard had been inside the house baking a cinnamon peach cake for his mother when she came home from a long day of work.You had started to smash up butter in a large bowl that you had actually made for them when you heard a mix of screams,hisses and whimpers coming from the backyard.
He had grabbed the broom,ready to break up a fight between two young children.You had both ran outside,screaming in shock at the sight in front of you.Blue had been shaking his head back and forth,trying to get the rat of of him.You had to tackle the poor dog,ripping the rat off and practically suffocating it.Richard had ran inside to grab one of his old dirty shirts,running it under the cool faucet water before running back outside and holding it to Blue’s damaged flesh.You had thrown the rat down the hill as adrenaline coursed through your veins.He had gotten the bleeding to stop,the red liquid had stained the already dying grass.You used your bandana to hold his ear down and bandaged.That had happened only a few months before you had lost your ring and became pretty much completely confined to the ocean.Since then Richard had tried his best to keep everything the same.When the first Blue died he was quick to find a similar looking grey hound from an animal shelter.He’d created a raft out of branches and grape vines and fitted sheets so he could float out to your cave.He put newspaper into plastic wrap so you could keep up with things going on in the land.He didnt go anywhere outside of North Carolina without telling you first.Pretty much his whole life revolved around you.
“Cool,cool.So are you visiting from somewhere?”She asked.You had gotten used to that question. “No,actually.I kind of just stay under the radar,you know?”You asked.She nodded. “So are you a kook or a pogue?”She asked.You shrugged,scratching your nose. “Um...I’d say its complicated.”You answered.She hummed. “Yeah,I get that.So where do you live?”She asked. “Between friends,I suppose.I should probably get this handsome baby home before he falls asleep.It was great meeting you though.”You grinned.She nodded. “Ill see you around,(Y/N).”She smiled.You walked back through the woods the same way you had came,eventually coming back out outside of Richard’s house.
You went through the back door,the dim kitchen light making you realize the scratches on your ankles.It brought a smile to your face.You felt like a normal teen girl for the time being and you knew you only had so long. “(Y/N)?Are you back?”Richard called from the living room. “Yep!”You shouted back before heading to the bathroom.You looked in the mirror,smiling at how dry your hair was.It was dry and hanging at your shoulders,not flowing in the water or getting pushed into your face by currents.The small slits behind your ear were covered with skin and you could move your feet in circles.You werent sure which part of your life you preferred.You turned on the faucet,staring at the water that flowed out of it.You turned it off,looking back up at the mirror angrily.Your sisters never had to deal with everything you had gone through.They were all dead anyways and only god knows how many others there were out there.Hell,there could be some walking around Outer Banks right now with their rings keeping them safe.The shit you would do to get your ring back was ridiculous.
At this point you might even kill for one. “Are you okay in there?”Richard shouted.You flicked the light off,coming out of the bathroom with your hand sin the pockets of your jeans. “Rich,I just met the girl.”You told him,standing in the doorway of the living room.He say up straight,placing his bag of skittles down. “What girl?”He asked.You sighed,sitting back down on the couch indian style. “The girl.The girl from the group I saw earlier today.Ive encountered all of them now,that cannot be a coincidence!”You exclaimed.He shrugged. “Well,lets not jump to conclusions now.You say the Maybank boy looks a lot like him,yeah?”He asked.You nodded. “Well then maybe he’s related to the fella.You still have your old photo albums in the caves?The ones I laminated for you?”He asked.You nodded,waiting for him to continue. “This might be jumping to conclusions but what if Jesse is related to him?”He asked.
You sighed,shaking your head. “No,no he never had any kids.”You answered.He grinned. “Yeah,he didnt.But that doesnt mean his older sister didnt.Linda,I think.Wasnt it something like that?”He asked.You gulped. “Linden.She died in 55’ though.I dont know if she ever had kids.How would we find that out?”You asked.His eyebrows knit together,the bags under his eyes seeming darker. “We have google now.Hand me my phone,please.”He requested.You grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter,looking at his screensaver.It was a picture of a sunset taken awfully close to your cave system.You remembered that sunset in particular because of how bright the pink and purple hues had been.You didnt remember him taking the photo though.You tossed it to him,the strange object falling into his lap. “Hey siri.”He spoke to his phone.A ding came from the device. “Show me all information on Linden Silslip.”He requested.A few articles came up so he handed the phone back to you for you to scroll through.It wasnt until you got to the very bottom that you found an article about “The Sea Monster of OBX” with and interview from Linden.You looked through the article,pressing down on Linden’s name.A whole page of information came up.You couldnt believe what you were seeing.
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my thoughts on the croods 2 so far
based on literally NOTHING but the trailer so even i’m taking all this with a grain of salt
the art:
GOOD: the colors are gorgeous. TC was always a vibrantly breathtaking movie and luckily the second seems to be the same
BAD: i’m disappointed with the clothes. at the end of the first movie, the croods excluding guy got huge wardrobe changes to highlight they were not the same people they were in the beginning. but sadly the sequel seems to have??? cut that out entirely as the family are in their caveman clothes again.
GOOD: i like how the faces are more...... refined? the eyes look more natural and have neater lines. and i also like that the face shapes have been tweaked a little too. those that needed sharper features (eep’s face in the first movie was literally a circle) got them, and those that needed smoother and more rounded features (guy used to have the Anime Triangle Jaw) got them too.
BAD: this also comes with a negative though. as someone already pointed out, although their faces look neater, they also look a little too neat. all of guy’s blemishes are gone. actually, everyones blemishes are gone.
BAD: also, their hair! in the first movie, everybody’s hair is messy. it’s the wilderness! they don’t have combs. but in the trailer, guy’s hair looks like it was literally put into a straightener. and this is before he went through the betterman transformation. a side by side of what they did to guy (they butchered my boy!!) is in the post i already linked. it’s nuts
GOOD: another thing about the character designs i DID like was ugga. most of the girls/women’s faces in the first movie were round, soft, and wide eyed. ugga’s face in the trailer now has more variation to it. she has high, sharp cheekbones, her eyes are narrower, chin more pointed. the women do not just have “soft” facial features anymore. i like that theres more variety between them.
GOOD: i love the farm and domesticated animals. the wildlife has always always been one of my favorite things about the world of the croods and they deliver on it once again (black and white furry elephants!!!)
BAD: there’s a downside to this part too tho and i will direct all of that towards douglas. WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO HIM?!?!? he looks completely different in a bad way. he looks simple. i look at douglas in the trailer and see an easy-to-make toy. the colors are simple and no longer ombré, his teeth are more rounded and claws nonexistent. he doesn’t look anything like a tiny crocodile creature anymore, and more like a toy store plushie come to life. look at him in the trailer and then look at him in a pic from the first movie and then look me in my eyes and tell me they didn’t ruin my boy.
now about the actual plot:
BAD: why are the croods “searching for a perfect place to call home”? why is guy so eager to stay at the farm?? yes, guy is an inventor so new technology would interest him, but he was way more focused and concerned abt making it to Tomorrow. at the end of the first movie, they all agreed to become nomads and stay on the move, following the sun. a theme they explored was that home was not a place/“a cave”, and is actually just about being with the people you love. so why would they want to..... settle all of a sudden? eep ofc still wants to get out and grug doesn’t like strange things, but the others are like in love with the place?? i have to say with all these things so far it’s almost like they’re trying to scrap the end of the first movie entirely and just base the sequel off the beginning to middle sections. which is kinda disheartening since the end was so beautiful and made me tear up.
GOOD: i like that there’s another family, especially a mom, dad, and a daughter. i LOVE the fact that eep now has a friend her age and it looks like they develop a great relationship!! i desperately hope the same happens with ugga and the mom, and maybe grug and the other dad can bond too. all 3 of them, while having extremely different lifestyles, have very similar roles, and could confide in and relate to one another.
BAD: again, my biggest concern is the backtrack. in the trailer, grug is wary and upset with his family for growing attached to strangers. just like he was in the first movie with guy. “i don’t know if cave people belong in a modern world” they’re not cave people anymore. they’ve already developed past that in the first movie. “this place is changing everyone” grug is still afraid of change?!?? he got over this in the first movie too! so not only have they backtracked with the clothes, but also with the character arcs. this is a little worrying. how loosely connected is this sequel??
GOOD: nonetheless, i do think the croods encountering farmers is interesting. so far, they’ve only known that you can either be a caveman or a nomad. being neither is an entirely new concept to them, and it will be interesting to see how they deal with this third lifestyle.
BAD: WHAT HAPPENED TO RIDING THE SUN?!? i’m sorry, i’m just struggling to wrap my head around why the croods would be so ready to settle down. they had a plan. they were gonna follow the sun until they “caught it” and then ride it to Tomorrow. so what happened? especially with guy?!?!? that was literally his life’s most important goal. sooo.....????????
GOOD: while i was busting a lung, one of my friends suggested that the plot this time could be about “remembering one’s roots”. like how the theme for the first movie was that change and moving forward is good, so the sequel could now be about how, although progress is good, it’s also important to remember where you come from. i think this could be an interesting storyline if they do it right.
extra thoughts:
BAD: where are the other pets? the owl bear? the liyotes?? the land whale??? they didn’t go extinct bc the croods rode off into the sunrise with them. so Where Are They?????? did they get erased to?
GOOD: i definitely like the revamped betterman designs. apparently they looked completely different before and i very much prefer their looks now. i’m tired of the “blond, conventionally attractive character(s) think they’re better than others” trope. the bettermans look more like regular people and take pride in the technology they’ve created. i especially like how racially ambiguous they are, as i know this was one of the points the first movie got praised on too. (i do think goth!dawn wouldve been a cool contrast to eep’s bubbliness tho)
NEUTRAL: okay so this is based on both the trailer and fan theories. ive seen a few people wonder if the bettermans are actually guy’s long lost family since they look a lot like him, especially with their affinity for technology. while i don’t think this is a bad theory, i don’t know if i’d want it? idk it’s hard for me to explain but it feels like we’ve already covered guy and his family’s past. can you even imagine the convo lol. guy: “omg you guys are alive!!? i thought you’d been gruesomely drowned to death by tar!!!” / them: “oh no we just hopped right out of that. so anyways” like?!?!??? idk it would just feel...... idk. i think it’s unnecessary. (the theory that dawn is their adopted daughter and is actually guy’s last remaining relative/sister is interesting tho)
conclusion:
good total -> 8 points
bad total -> also 8 points
final thoughts -> so yeah. all in all i’m excited for this!! i love the croods and the themes and subtle little touches they had in the first movie, and am interested to see what they do in the second. unfortunately, it looks like a few things got retconned which is very concerning. i both like and dislike the new art/designs, and am very interested in the dynamic between the bettermans and the croods.
and reminder: i’m taking even my own first impression with a grain of salt (a very, very tiny one) since we’ve seen literally only one trailer so far. these are just my thoughts based on what we have. they might change as more things get released, or they might stay solid. who knows! anything goes until the movie actually comes out.
(also pink!belt will be the death of me)
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A bit of a strange question, but as the queen of AUs, what do you think wouldve happened to the course of ASOIAF events if robb had instead been a woman?
Thank you! I’ve actually debated doing a ‘Robyn, eldest child of House Stark’ fic multiple times, but I don’t think it will be occurring any time soon because once I’m done with Haunt/Hunt it’s going to be a while before I want to touch anything set during the War of the Five Kings timeline. assuming literally everything else stays the same, and Catelyn simply happens to give birth to a daughter at Riverrun instead of a son: (WARNING this is just me talking off the top of my head, I am not an acclaimed ASOIAF theorist or scholar haha) I honestly have no idea what Catelyn would name her. We don’t know if she and Ned even discussed potential names for their children in the two weeks they had together before he went back to war, so it’s really anyone’s guess. I *don’t* think Catelyn would have felt comfortable naming her Lyarra or Lyanna or Branda without Ned’s explicit approval, and she certainly would have wanted to give her daughter a Stark or northern name, especially since the child was born in Riverrun and we’re assuming she’s redhaired and blue-eyed like Robb in canon. Robyn was historically a Ryswell lady who ruled as Lady of Winterfell after marrying Jonnel Stark (although the marriage produced no heirs) and it’s also close to Robb, so if it were me writing the fic I’d probably just go with that. There’s also just the always ‘safe’ name choices of Jeyne or Alys/Alysanne, which Catelyn might have felt were very inoffensive names no one could have an issue with. Berena or Arrana or even Serena or Sansa could be other options, but if I was writing this AU I’d want to keep the name change as simple as possible so as not to confuse anyone. So Catelyn gives birth to a little Robyn Stark. I am sure she adores her daughter, but I think she would be feeling a bit crestfallen and insecure that she hasn’t given House Stark a male heir while Ned is off to war- especially since there has never been a Lady of Winterfell ruling in her own right- a lot of fics like to portray the North as being much more egalitarian than the South, but the canonical evidence for that is... shoddy. I think the first big issue is obviously going to be Ned bringing Jon back to Winterfell. Catelyn shows up with her infant daughter Robyn- already a stranger in a strange place, likely feeling insecure and uncertain of her relationship with Ned, which is nonexistent, and surprise! There’s a bastard son literally sitting in the nursery. So I think we can take Catelyn’s canonical feelings of ‘why the HELL would you RAISE your ILLEGITIMATE SON WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU alongside OUR CHILDREN and EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY WITH THIS’ and magnify that by about 10? I would say Catelyn and Jon’s already rocky dynamic is going to be that much worse in this AU, especially since Catelyn then does not have a son until the birth of Bran in 290 AC. That’s about 7 years where Jon is the only male child of Ned’s at Winterfell. 7 years for people to wonder if he might be legitimized if Catelyn doesn’t have any sons. Unless Ned takes some proactive steps to reassure Catelyn that Robyn could inherit his seat and he wouldn’t put Jon in front of her, I think the relationship between Ned and Cat is going to be quite tense. Hateful and toxic to the degree of Robert and Cersei? No, but frosty and distant. Maybe it would improve with the birth of Bran, maybe it would improve if Ned caved and agreed to send Jon to ward somewhere nearby, such as with House Cerwyn or House Hornwood or even the Tallharts, but I do think we would then see a Ned and Cat at the start of 298 AC who are not as close and deeply in love as they are in canon. That’s not to say I think they’d loathe each other but it would be different. Anyways, I would still say Robyn has a pretty happy childhood. I think her personality would be reasonably similar to Robb’s in canon- she’s loving and protective of her siblings, looks up to her parents, is proud of her Northern heritage but worships both the Seven and the old gods. I think her and Sansa would be quite close, and I think since Robb is pretty much the ‘ideal’ if young and sheltered male heir in canon, Robyn would pretty much adhere to the gender norms of Westeros. I don’t think she’d be a tomboy to the degree that Arya is, although she might quite enjoy hunting, hawking, and riding, and I think she’d have some close friends in say, the Manderly sisters or Alys Karstark (I like to write female friendships, anyways). But one major difference is, of course, that Robyn is not considered Ned’s heir. Bran is. This changes Bran’s personality a bit. I think he is overall still his sweet, curious self, dreaming of becoming a knight, but I think that is tampered some by the pressure to grow up and become a worthy successor to his well-loved and respected father. So we might see a bit of a more ‘mature’ Bran or just one who doesn’t really have much time to be scampering about Winterfell- he’s busy with his lessons or training. Robyn I think would love both Sansa and Arya and be a good intermediary between the two of them, although Arya might still be very insecure about not being as feminine or graceful as her two popular older sisters. I do think Robyn would help abate some of her insecurity and feelings of worthlessness, though; she could keep Sansa and Jeyne in line from being bullying or just derisive of Arya’s wild ways, and she could also maybe show Arya some of the value in things like needlework and a lady’s traditional duties, etc. The big question here then becomes, when Robert shows up, does he want Joffrey betrothed to Robyn instead of Sansa? We can assume Robyn and Sansa both look quite similar, but Robyn is the elder sister and was born around mid-283 AC, while Joffrey was born in early 286 AC, I think that age difference would be seen as completely acceptable. So I’m inclined to say yes, there is talk of a betrothal between Joffrey and Robyn. Is Robyn as charmed by Joffrey as Sansa is in canon? Eh, she might not hate him right off the bat, but I can’t see her really having much of a crush, either. Does this influence Ned to think differently of agreeing to the betrothal, if Robyn expresses no interest in wedding Joffrey and becoming queen someday, or does he put more value on not offending Robert? If I was writing this AU my personal solution would be to have Robyn already betrothed by 298 AC, thus averting the problem of having her just ‘replace’ Sansa in her own plot. It would also make sense in that as Robyn would be a 14 year old girl at the start of the story, it would seem like there might be more pressure to figure out a betrothal for her than there was for Robb. Given Ned’s desire to shelter his children and keep them close, I think he and Catelyn would want Robyn either marrying into a Northern house or a Riverlands house where they would know what family she was marrying into well and know what to expect. Just in terms of negotiating this betrothal, the North might be more convenient for everyone. Cley Cerwyn, Daryn Hornwood, Harrion Karstark, Jojen Reed, and Smalljon Umber would all be options. Robyn would be considered a very appealing choice in wife in order to get influence with the Starks, so lots of houses would be vying for her to marry into their families. Obviously Robyn being betrothed to a northern lordling sort of sets her up to be left behind as acting Lady of Winterfell when all the shit starts going on, with Catelyn trusting her to look after her little brothers and keep the castle in order. Does Bran still fall in this AU in the first place? I guess it really depends. He might have less chances to sneak off with him being expected to spend time around Joffrey and Tommen as Ned’s eldest son. If he does fall, that is an even bigger blow to House Stark in the eyes of their allies- Ned’s heir is crippled, what now, would probably be the major thought. Rickon is just 3- it will be at least a decade before he’s ruling anyone. This might provide an opportunity, plot-wise for Robyn to step up to the plate and maybe the North winds up being steered in the direction of ‘we love Lady Robyn and her betrothed, *insert Daryn or Harrion or Cley, etc!*’. If she ends up being the one to call their banners... who knows. Obviously she wouldn’t be fighting any battles, but I think Catelyn would see nothing wrong with her daughter leading and making battle plans. That’s kind of all I got at the moment but it’s definitely an interesting concept! How does Theon view her? What is her relationship like with Jon? Does she still name her direwolf Grey Wind? How does her relationship with Catelyn develop as she grows into a young woman making serious political decisions, not all of which her mother agrees with? Does she feel differently about suing for peace with the Lannisters and trying to save Sansa and Arya at all costs, being a woman herself?
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Obedience
Jacob Seed/F! Character
Description: She had been reluctantly taken into Jacob's training as a Hunter, she was strong, but needed to learn her place and obey commands. Jacob had tried everything, there was only one other way to teach her.
A/N: I don't write much Jacob stuff, but figured I'd give it a go.
Warnings: Smut, NSFW, dom/sub undertones
Jacob paced the room, he wasn’t sure if he was angry or worried, he decided to go with both. He hadn’t heard from her in hours, he told her not to do anything but of course she was stubborn and constantly trying to prove herself. Suddenly the door opened, he stopped, his heart pounding as all of the worst scenarios ran through his mind. He was set at ease when he saw her walk in.
“I told you-I told you not to go, but you went anyways? You disobeyed a direct order.” He stalked towards her, anger seething through him.
“I-I was doing it for the Project, to help.”
“It was too dangerous to do alone and now I’m going to have to go and fix your mess.” He stopped a few inches away, glaring down at her.
“But-I did it. I secured the outpost.” She stepped back trying to get some distance from his obvious rage.
He blinked at her confused for a moment, how could she have secured the outpost on her own? With no backup?
“You did it? By yourself?”
“Yep. No problems or anything, Sir.” She gave him a weak smile, hoping he’d be grateful.
“You still went against my orders. You’ll have to pay for that.”
She wasn’t fond of Jacob’s punishments, he was always so creative. She had been under his training for a few months now, she desperately wanted more with him, but knew her feelings weren’t reciprocated in any way. Jacob was all work and no play, completely closed off from any emotions or affection.
She shivered outside in the rain as she held the large rock over her head, her arms trembled, ready to give out if she let them.
“Why don’t you just put the rock down? Come inside where it’s warm?” He said as he paced around her.
“No, Sir.” She responded, keeping her gaze forward.
“Just put it down, it’ll be fine.” He continued to try and persuade her.
“N-No, Sir.” She shivered.
“Are you disobeying my orders?” He circled her like a predator circling his prey.
“N-No, Sir. You told me not to put this rock down until the sun came up. That’s what I’m going to do.” Her arms continued to shake. She’d sooner drop it on her head than put it down and disappoint him.
“Have it your way.” He said as he went back inside.
She could no longer feel her fingers, she was pretty sure they were now permanently attached to the rock. The rain let up a little, but she was soaked to her core, there was no way she’d get out of this without getting pneumonia. Jacob returned with a hot bowl of soup, he stood in front of her and got a spoonful, blowing it gently in front of her face. She instinctively licked her lips, she’d give anything for some food right now.
“Oh, I’m sorry, are you hungry?” He furrowed his brow as he looked at her.
“Y-Yes, Sir.” She didn’t look at the soup, she held her gaze to his.
“Come inside and get some food. There’s plenty.” He placed the spoon in his mouth and made the most ridiculously pleased face.
“N-No, Sir.”
“You sure? It’s delicious.” He took another bite.
“Y-Yes, Sir.” This was the only time in her life she ever denied food and it pained her to do so.
“Guess I’ll just give the rest to the Judges then.” He left her once more.
6 hours, 6 hours had passed, she only knew because she could see the sun peaking over the horizon, she continued to wait though, determined to hold out until Jacob gave her permission to come inside.
“Oh, you’re still out here?” Jacob stretched and yawned in front of her.
She nodded her head her body trembled, she no longer had the energy to speak and her mouth was pretty much frozen shut.
Jacob didn’t say anything, he grabbed the rock from her and dropped it to the ground. Her arms immediately fell to her sides, they felt like cooked noodles. She moved to step out of the mud, but her legs gave out and she fell to the ground. Who knew standing in the same position for 6+ hours would cause your legs to become stiff and buckle the second you tried to move? She pushed herself up on her hands and knees, took a deep breath and tried to stand back up, but it was no use, she fell back down to the ground.
Jacob sighed as he watched her feeble attempts. He was initially reluctant to take her on as a Hunter, but she persevered through his training and had proven herself worthy, she still had a stubborn streak that needed to be broken though. He rolled his eyes before he leaned down and picked her up, cradling her in his arms.
“S-Sir?” She looked at him surprised.
“Jesus, you’re freezing.” He said as she shook in his arms.
He carried her inside and passed the shared quarters for the Hunters, he continued walking down the corridor to his quarters, she’d glanced inside but had never fully been in it before. He placed her in his bed and covered her with the thickest fleece comforter. He left for a moment before returning with two more blankets, piling them on her. She continued to shake under the warmth, but the feeling was coming back into her extremities slowly. Jacob stood over her as she shivered, her lips almost blue, he knew she needed more heat. He kicked his shoes off and pulled the covers back, lying down beside her and covering them both back up. He pulled her close to his chest.
“S-Sir, you don’t have-“
“Shut up. Your body temperature is too low. Why did you stand out there so long?” He scolded her.
“B-Because you t-told me to, Sir.”
“If you had followed my orders that closely before then you wouldn’t be in this situation.”
Although it was a bit awkward, she actually enjoyed her current situation, not the freezing to death part, but the being in bed close to Jacob part. His body heat was helping warm her up quicker though, she had stopped shivering as she laid next to him. Jacob tried his hardest to remain completely unfazed by her closeness, he couldn’t deny he’d desired her for a while now, especially in watching her strength and determination increase over the months. Now, as she lay so close to him, he wasn’t sure how much resolve he had to resist her, one glance wouldn’t hurt, would it? He looked down to see her asleep against his chest, breathing softly. He brushed a piece of hair off her face, he panicked slightly when she stirred, but relaxed when she continued to sleep.
She stretched across the bed to find Jacob had left her, she wondered how long he stayed with her? Her arms were still sore and weak as she left the bed, she wanted to seek him out, to thank him, but she decided to return to her quarters instead.
“Heard you got quite the punishment yesterday.” One of the other Hunters commented as she entered the room.
“Lasted longer than you did though, how long did you stay out there before you’d pissed yourself?” She smiled smugly.
“You’re right, I didn’t last long out there. Maybe if I had then Jacob would have shared his bed with me too. But I guess we can’t all spread our legs for special treatment.”
She wanted to lash out, but she refrained, she knew Jacob wouldn’t be happy if she started killing off his Hunters. She ignored the comment and gathered her clothes to go take a shower. She let the hot water warm her still semi-frozen bones, her fingers and toes still felt somewhat numb. When she returned to the shared room the man was still there, he glanced up at her, but she ignored him. Before she knew what was happening, he was behind her, pressing her against the concrete wall.
“Just want a taste of what Jacob gets.” He said into her ear as his hands travelled down her body.
She would have screamed but it wouldn’t have done any good, Jacob would have come to save her, but it would’ve only made things worse for her. She let him get distracted by her compliance, he let his guard down for a moment, she threw her elbow back into his face as hard as she could. He yelled out in pain as he stepped back from her, holding his nose.
“Touch me again and I’ll slit your fucking throat while you sleep.” She turned around to face him.
He was about to say something, but Jacob entered the room, “What’s going on here?” He crossed his arms as he glanced between the two of them.
“Nothing, Sir.” She feigned innocence.
“The blood pouring from his nose tells me it’s more than ‘nothing’. What happened?” He looked at the man.
“I-I tripped.” He said as he continued holding his nose.
“Is that so? Maybe you need more agility training then, clean yourself up and meet me outside in 10.”
The man left, glancing back at her, she held her gaze on Jacob. She didn’t want to tell him what had almost happened, she was worried he’d see her as weak.
“There something else I need to know?”
“No, Sir.” She shook her head. He looked at her for another moment before leaving the room, he was certain he knew what had happened and he didn’t plan on taking it easy on the guy.
“Jacob? Hello? Anyone?” A voice rang over the radio, she looked over at it, Jacob was still outside.
“Yes?” She pressed the button and answered, knowing she should’ve just gone to get Jacob.
“We need help! We’re under attack here at the Elk Jaw Lodge, by the Resistance, there’s too many of them. Send help!”
She stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what to do. She knew she could get there quickly and help, as well as prove herself to Jacob, but he was so furious when she’d done the same thing the other day. She made her decision, she grabbed her guns and headed out. There were a lot more Resistance members than there should have been, by the time she got there it was almost too late, there were only a few followers left. She ran in, guns blazing, taking out anyone and everyone she saw. Her adrenaline was pumping so fast she didn’t realize when she got nicked by a bullet as it tore through the skin on her arm. When it was all over, she had either killed all the Resistance members or they had run away. She helped the remaining followers get patched up until reinforcements could come. She decided it was best if she headed back to the VA Center, hoping Jacob had heard about her success.
She walked in the door, half expecting to see Jacob waiting for her again, but he wasn’t there. She walked down the corridor further until she reached his quarters, she peaked inside but didn’t see him. Suddenly she felt someone grab her arm and turn her around.
“Looking for someone?” Jacob asked as his eyes bore into her.
“N-No, Sir.” She tried to pull free of his grasp, but he held firm.
“Heard you were down at Elk Jaw Lodge.”
“Yes, Sir. They needed help so I-“
“So, you disobeyed a direct order, again, and went to play hero?” He clenched his jaw as he glared down at her.
“Sir, I-“
“What’s it going to take to break you, hm? To get through to you that you don’t call the shots around here?” He narrowed his eyes at her.
She stared up at him, genuinely worried about what he would do. She didn’t think helping would be such a bad thing, but she did go against him, and she had made a habit of it recently. Jacob held her arm as he pushed her into his room, slamming the door closed behind him. She trembled slightly as she stood in front of him, not knowing what he was going to do to her. He grabbed her by the back of her neck, pulling her hair back, forcing her to look at him.
“You’re going to learn how to obey commands.” Before she could register what was happening his lips crashed into hers, kissing her forcefully.
He shoved his tongue into her mouth, she welcomed the intrusion and swirled her tongue around his. She fought for dominance in the kiss but was quickly reminded of her place by a hard pull on her hair and a sharp bite on her bottom lip. He pulled away from her abruptly, leaving her breathless and wanting.
“Clothes.” He commanded.
She didn’t need to be told twice, she quickly rid herself of her shirt and unbuttoned her pants. She paused momentarily when he grabbed her arm, looking over the wound she had, bringing her attention to it as well. He let out a heavy sigh at the sight, but knew it wasn’t anything life threatening, deciding to leave it for later. She returned to her task and removed her pants, remaining only in her panties in front of him.
“Still don’t listen.” He said as he grabbed the waistband of her panties and pulled them until she heard the fabric stretching and then ripping apart.
She shifted her legs, feeling her wetness already soaking her thighs and he hadn’t even touched her yet. He tossed her underwear to the floor with her other clothes and circled her, just as he had done before, like he was a predator and she was his prey. She jumped when his hand landed hard on her bare ass, sending shivers over her body at the contact. He moved forward, pressing his body against her back, she could feel his hardness on her ass, she instinctively reached back to palm him through his pants. He let her for a moment before giving her another smack on her ass. She pulled her hand away from him immediately. He remained there, his hands on her shoulders pulling her back against him, he loved the feeling of her body on his. He trailed kisses down the side of her neck, biting into the flesh on her shoulder. She moaned instinctively and reached back for him again, needing to touch him. The second her hand touched him he spanked her again, harder this time. She withdrew her hand once more.
“Desk.” One word was all she needed, she walked over to his desk and bent over it, waiting.
He remained where he was, admiring her from afar as she waited for him. How he wanted to take her now, on every surface in the room, but she needed to learn her place first. He didn’t move for several minutes, she began to wonder what the hold up was, she turned her head to look at him.
“Something wrong?” He asked.
“No, Sir.” She turned her head forward.
He moved closer, his fingers tracing down her spine lightly, she felt goosebumps form across her skin as his fingers moved down further, barely touching her ass. She pushed back into his hand, hoping to coax him into touching her more, the only thing it earned her was another hard smack on the ass, adding to the already reddened skin.
“Patience.” He growled.
He knelt behind her, bringing his face directly to her center. He smirked at how wet she was already, completely soaked. His hand started down at her ankle, lightly moving up her leg, to her thigh. He spread her open wider, but never touched her where she wanted it most. She whined after a few minutes, shifting her legs. It was taking all his will power not to fuck her over this desk right this instance, but he held back. He leaned forward and pressed his tongue flat against her, starting at her clit and licking up to her entrance, tasting her. Her eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, finally being touched where she needed it. He pushed one finger into her opening, feeling how tight she was.
“This is going to hurt.” He said as he withdrew his finger and stood up behind her.
She furrowed her brow for a moment, what exactly was he talking about? It didn’t take her long to figure it out after he’d unzipped his pants and pressed his tip at her entrance, pushing into her completely without warning her first.
“Wait, fuck…” She squirmed, trying to adjust to his size as he stretched her out, but he grabbed her hips and held her still, not letting her move.
He pulled out almost completely before sliding back in, at this point she was glad she had gotten so wet before he’d done this, if not it would have been a lot more painful. She tried to control the pace by moving further up the desk, but he caught onto her quick and grabbed the wound on her arm, causing her to yell and stop all movements.
“Please, Sir…” She begged as he tightened his grip on her, still thrusting in and out of her slowly.
“Begging is another way of trying to control a situation.” He laughed at her attempt.
He released her arm and gripped her hips once more, thrusting harder into her, causing her to lurch forward on the desk. She was finally getting adjusted to him and moaned each time he dragged against her walls as he pulled out. His pace had increased as did the pressure in which his fingers were digging into her hips. He groaned as he pounded into her, reveling in her tightness, the way she writhed beneath him and under his grasp. She began to tighten around him as she felt her imminent release approaching.
“No.” He said as he slowed his pace back down, bringing her back from the brink.
She panted and wanted to argue, but knew it was no use, he would just continue to drag this out if she did. She remained silent as he started moving faster again. He smiled at her obedience, she was learning quickly, even if she wanted to complain, she wouldn’t. He slowed his pace again, but thrusted deeper inside her, hitting that perfect spot that made her knees weak. She moaned loudly each time he hit it, he knew she was getting close again, as was he. He thrust into her harder and faster again, the desk banging into the wall, if no one had heard it before they definitely did now. She whimpered at each thrust and felt herself tighten around him again.
“S-Sir?” She asked, he knew what she wanted.
“Alright, Darlin’” He said through gritted teeth.
A few more thrusts and she came undone beneath him, her body shuddered her orgasm hit her. Her walls clenching around him pushed him towards his own release, he had no plans of pulling out of her either. He remained inside her, making sure she got every ounce of his cum. They both began to come back down, he finally pulled out of her, she remained on the desk, unable to move.
“You belong to me now.” He leaned down and spoke into her ear, placing a kiss on her shoulder as she lay there.
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Say No To This (Eliza Version/Role-Reverse)
Disclaimers: LONG FANFIC!!!
Theodosia POV
Another warm summer night engulfed the city NYC where I began yawning and realizing it was already past ten o'clock. Deciding to wrap things up by going through one last files one last time before going home. Knowing Aaron would be worry sick that I stay longer at work than I’ve intentionally. Oh well, at least I can have my handsome holding me in his strong arms. Just thinking about me make me blush and giddy all shyly, which I know it’s stupid for a grown woman to be acting like a teenage girl again. Hey, that’s love for you especially being married to the man or women you’ve been for more than a decade. It’s a magical experience when you created the wondrous memories as a married couple. There’s going to be ups and downs and which is part of life and you just have to accept it. Even when you’re in complete denial. Which I could say for a certain I know that writing completely non-stop at the office next door.
You see, my old friend my dearest Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton is working her ass off to the brink of exhaustion. I worry about her but knowingly how stubborn and hard headed she can be sometimes. I often worry about her physical and mental state. I hope she doesn’t scare me like last month when she was buried alive under all those paperworks. That woman is seriously gonna give me a heart attack one these days. Anyway, as a good friend basically the mother friend of our group. I always tend to check up on her before leaving the office. Knowing that her answer will be that she’ll be spending another night here at the orphanage. I wasn’t going to argue with her about it but still at least take one day off. Then again it has taken her husband almost a decade to finally take a break from work. Well, like wife, like husband as some may say.
I see her with papers scatter around the desk with multiple profile of some the new orphanages we receive from other states. Lightly knocking on the door which caught Eliza attention which she given me her usual soft smile.
“Yes, Mrs. Burr. Is there anything you need?” she asks
“No, I’m letting you know that I’m heading home now. It’s already past ten o’clock so Aaron is probably worry sick about me”
Eliza chuckle lightly before understanding that Aaron is a bit overprotective of me but in a cute way. Deep inside her heart she was longing for the company of Alexander but he and their children were at Upstate. Apparently, visiting her father until catching up with Lafayette mid-way through the journey to South Carolina. They wanted surprise John with a visit of their own unannounced. I can understand her loneliness but she made the choice to stay behind for the orphanage and for me. We share our goodbyes before taking my leave as I left the door to be locked. Since I didn’t want any strangers or psycho manic having the intention to murder my innocent friend. Anyway, during my walk on the way I notice a tall male with a noticeable black eye. I whine on the inside feeling that he either got it from a bar fight or from his wife.
Domestic abuse isn’t uncommon sadly and seeing the abuse victim walking toward to our orphanage is heartbreaking but brave as well. What weird about him is that he’s wearing a large black hat with a long black coat. Perhaps to cover the bruises and the scars he received from his spouse. But that one thing stood out from his outfit was a tight red shirt that would grasp on his muscular chest. Ignoring my appearance despite me waving at him to be polite but I didn’t care. He continue to walk toward the direction of the orphanage before looking at the window in which located Eliza office. It made my heart skip a beat just for a moment but there wasn’t I couldn’t do since I’m off work.
Walking away from the scene as I pray deeply that this doesn’t become that I think would lead to. I hope that Eliza doesn’t do something stupid that would cost her marriage. Then again, our Lord works in mysterious ways than beyond our imagination. I simply shrug and ignore the tangles of knot that bewling with one gut to another.
Theodosia Sr
There’s nothing like summer in the city.
Someone under stress meets someone looking sexy
There’s trouble in the air, you can smell it
And Eliza is by herself....
I’ll let her tell it
Eliza POV
I was left alone in this semi-huge orphanage just by myself working on each of the children files. Just the ones that I’m assign to but that wasn’t enough. By that, I mean the only ones here are the servants on night shift. They look after the kids making they’re sleeping peacefully. Or looking after the ones that were deeply sicks and so they manage their medication from here and there. Sighing to myself out of despair as I thought about my darling Alexander and my friendly Lafayette. They decided to go Upstate in order to visit my father since the children dearly misses him. Along with the midsummer is when they’re going to visit Laurens in South Carolina since it been so long since they last met. Mulligan is going to meet on the middle part of the journey since it would be nice to create a surprise visit for John. It’s nice to know that they all have each others but Angelica and I are separated from miles apart. Not to mention...I lost Peggy from the war after she was shot..from a signal gunshot wound. Sacrificing her life for an innocent child that had nothing to do with it. Except being a daughter of a sl....I can’t bring myself to say it. But yes, that event change me and Angelica a lot especially toward my father who clearly cherish her since she is one of his beloved daughters.
Leaving behind her husband and beautiful son behind but we still visit them but enough of the depress thing. I harshly rubbed my eyes as I been here at my office for a week. Brushing my fingers into my semi greasy hair and thought I should go home as well. Packing my things up as I thought about Alexander just holding in his arms. As we share the bed we slept in together. Or having Lafayette just escorting me around the city while trying to make me laugh. His corny jokes somehow manage to make me laugh from here and there. Just would’ve been nice to have one of them here by my side. Until I heard a knock from downstairs.
Eliza
I haven’t slept in a week
I was weak, I awake
When I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall
Longing for Lafayette, Missing my Alexander
I heard a knock on the door, I knew it wasn't my husband That’s when Mister James Reynolds walked into my life He said:
Walking downstairs before opening the door to see a tall man with a large black hat and long black coat. Quite an odd outfit but I brush it off. I notice the black eye on his face which aches my heart. Knowing that this black eye must’ve come from his abusive spouse. I offer him some tea as we discuss in the living room before introducing himself to be Mr. James Reynolds. Which he announce his reasonings of why coming to the orphanage so late at night.
James Reynolds
I know you are a woman of honor
I’m so sorry to bother you at home
But I don’t know where to go
And I came here all alone...
Eliza:
He said...
James Reynolds
My wife been doing me wrong
Beating me...
Cheating me...
Mistreating me...
Suddenly, she up and gone
And, I don’t have the means to go on
I felt extremely upset to know about this poor going through an abusive marriage. Not to mention that he has a young daughter only about five years old. Wondering how could I help this man and his daughter as well. Giving me the facts that she comes and goes from three days to weeks, lead to months from on end. Decided to give him some extra crash that I’ve stock away in her desk drawer. Pulling out approximately about thirty bucks which is quite a lot back then. Thirty bucks could’ve equivalent to like a hundreds. Then again it’s the 1700s, so it wasn’t an issue trying to store a few extra cash. Giving, Mr. Reynolds the money to see that he’s very grateful that anyone would loan him such a large amount of money. Wiping the tears of joy away before leaning his arm to hold onto. Well, I didn’t see a problem for a woman to escort a find young man home.
Eliza:
So I offered him a loan, I offered to walk him home, he said
James Reynolds:
You’re too kind mam
Eliza
I gave him thirty bucks that I have stock away
He lived a block away, he said:
James Reynolds:
This one’s mine, mam
Surprisingly the the orphanage isn’t that too far off from where Reynolds live at. Then again, he live only a block away so it was only a short ten minutes. I would stand outside just letting the kind man to enter inside his house safe and sound. Hopefully, his wife is either asleep or isn’t home at the moment which brought a tight knot in my stomach.Then, i could go home and take a long hot bath and probably take the day off tomorrow. Since I haven’t slept nor bathe in a week. So, I probably smell very sticky which isn’t very ladylike of me. Turning away as I started to walk in the direction of where my home was. About to take my leave I felt James hand grabbing my own with a light blush on his face. Veryly confuse, as I didn’t prepare myself of what was about to happen next.
Eliza:
Then I said, “well, I should head back home,” He turned red, He led me to his bed Place me between his legs and said:
James Reynolds:
Stay?
Eliza:
H...Hey...
James Reynolds:
Hey...
Not even knowing what just till the last second is when I’m between Reynolds legs. With his arms around my waist as I lay on top of his bare. Apparently, I must’ve believe that he unbutton his red shirt during the time I went blank. Feeling my entire body heating up and my face turning into cherry red. Wasn’t sure how I magically escape from the grasp of his arms but that wasn’t the case. As a married woman and Reynolds being a married man shouldn’t doing something so sinful. Not to mention, I have Alexander and can’t let myself be the one to break his heart. Reaching toward the door but before getting the grasp on the knob. Reynolds held me from behind just my heart accelerating and my body hitting once again.
Feeling his lips just leaving butterflies kissing across my neck to the my bare shoulders. Barely knowledge that this man has strip my dress off my body. Leaving me in my closet and others underclothing just leaving me to shiver. Turning me around as I face this man in the eyes but adirmating his bare chest. Lightly breathing heavily but soon I mentally slap myself. Telling myself that I have a husband and children nevertheless. This devilish man has this sinfully smirk as he place his chest just feeling his heart beating.
Eliza: That’s when I began to pray:
Lord, show me how to
Say no to this
I don’t know how to
Say no to this
But my god, he looks so helpless
And his body’s saying “hell yes”
James Reynolds:
Whoa...
Eliza:
Lord, show me how to
Eliza/ Ensemble (Aka the fandom): Say no to this
Trying to put my dress back on and get the heck out there but Reynolds has other plans. Holding me closer to him as our lips were just meter aparts just barely brushing each others. The grids in my mind were grinding wildly just telling me “Get the hell out of there”. But I couldn’t feel my body, didn’t have the courage to pull away. That wasn’t the case...I didn’t want to push myself away from this find man. Turning my face away for a moment. Until, I felt him lifting my chin up just meeting my gaze to his before leaning. His lips against my own just made everything I have thought just few out the window. Before he lead me to the once again.
Eliza: I don’t know how to Eliza/ The fandom Say no to this Eliza: In my mind, I’m tryin’ to go The Fandom: Go! Go! Go!
Eliza: Then his mouth is on mine, and I don’t say…
Throughout the entire time I spent with this stranger of man just letting him pleasure. Just forgetting Alexander, Lafayette, Angelica, the kids. Basically just everyone I’ve ever knew as he and I done it in his bed. At his house, where his wife could’ve walk in on us but I didn’t care. I was alone and longing for companion. But my mind is screaming me with rage literally scolding for doing a cruel act. Letting myself get involved in adultery that I’ll soon regretted later on.
The Fandom:
No! No! Say no to this!
No! No! Say no to this!
No! No! Say no to this!
No! No! Say no to this!
Third POV
Unaware by his wife adultery with another married man, Alexander Hamilton a proud father and helpless husband. Smiling happily while looking at the pendant that his late younger sister- in law, Peggy gave to him. It was originally a birthday gift but the widely woman decided to give this little gremlin as a wedding. Chucking by the memories of the late Peggy but blush while smiling a little. It was a picture of him and Eliza on their wedding day which brought warm memories to him. That day brought heartbreaks to both Lafayette and Laurens. As the French general has fallen deeply in love with Elizabeth Schuyler but given her up for his brother. While John is in love with his best friend but was already marriage and have a daughter of his own. Still, they wanted to see this Caribbean immigrant keeping a beautiful smile while basketing his love for Eliza.
The Hamilsquad has finally reunited after being seperated from the war for far too long. Which has been nearly a decade or more since the four men last saw each others. Apparently, Burr is suppose to meet up with the others at Lauren house but wasn’t able to at the last minute. As his daughter has gotten ill which is terrible for a child to be sick during the summer. Anyway, nearly getting side tracked as the four males were playing around with the children. Dancing with them, playing with them, and etc. As the children run around Alexander pull his pendant. Staring at the picture at his beautiful as he felt helpless once again after all these years during their marriage.
Alexander / The Fandom:
Helpless!!
(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)
Looking into your eyes
And the sky’s the limit
(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)
I’m helpless
(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)
Lafayette saw his brother smile weakly while spinning around like the lovesick puppy that Hamilton is. Walking away from the immigrant as the French male heart tighten a bit knowing fully well that Eliza will never be his. He has come to terms with it but still heartbroken after all these years. Now, married with another woman in France with children of their own. Yet, Lafayette still loves Eliza and that would never change. Even that meant marrying someone else. As one brother is smiling happily with hearts flying around him as the other brother was staring out the window. A single tear rolled down his caramel skin before brushing it away in order not to let others know.
Alexander/Lafayette
Will she ever be satisfied?
(Down for the count,
And I’m
Drowning’ in them)
She will never be satisfied
Back at New York is where both men were unaware that Eliza is sleeping with another married man. But also growing mutual feelings for him as well. As Eliza woken up from his bed in shock and disgusted with herself for letting this happen. Trying to break it off and made sure this was a one time only moment. Well ain’t that fantasy that Eliza suddenly ask for too much. As the guilt and regrets will arrive years later and she won’t even how the affair being leak out. Though she didn’t care and immediately left the house luckily, no one was around to started ridiculous gossip. Heading straight home to take a bath and sleep hopefully this is the final counter she’ll have with Reynolds. Or so she thought.
Eliza: I wish I could say that was the last time I said that last time. It became a pastime A month into this endeavor I received a letter From a Mrs. Maria Reynolds, even better, it said: Maria: Dear Madam, I hope this letter finds you in good health And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth In the pockets of people like me: down on their luck You see, that was my husband who you decided to Eliza: Shhhh—
A month past by and her affair with Reynolds continue and escalated to him spending multiple night at her house. As they slept on the same bed that she with her darling Alexander. No matter how many time she wanted to call this affair off. Reynolds always seduce her back into his arms by that charming and charismatic attitude of his. Those methods always make her legs jelly and wobbling. It lead them to exchanging tiny little love letters from here and there. Until one day, at her office Theodosia brought her letter which was sent from Mrs. Maria Reynolds. Feeling her blood run before locking the door. Reading the telegrams which is promptly by none other than Reynolds wife. Claiming that she knows about the affair and herself as well. A large lump began to form in his throat as she continue reading the paper. Feeling that dark presented behind Eliza back just feeling Maria mocking her for sleeping with her own husband.
Yet, that not even the worst part.
Maria: Uh-oh! You made the wrong sucker a cuckold So time to pay the piper for the dress you stripped And hey, you can keep seeing’ that piece of shit If the price is right: if not I’m telling your man
Straight up blackmailing the young wife that if she doesn’t pay in the correct. This other wife would spill the details to her Alexander. In pure anger, she races out of her office but not without leaving confuse looks on her coworkers face’s. Nearly running toward Reynolds house as she proudly let herself to slam the door shut harshly. Racing toward upstairs as I saw James right before myself as I proceeded to slap him hard across the face. Shock but also hurt by this reaction as Eliza shove the letter in front of the man’s face.
Eliza: I hid the letter and I raced to his place Screamed
“How could you?!”
in his face He said: James No, Mam!!
Eliza:
Half dressed, apologetic. A mess, he looked
Pathetic, he cried:
James:
Please don’t go, mam!
Not caring if this man was even half naked or half dress in front of her. This affair is officially over but Reynolds grabbed Eliza’s hand. Not wanting to lose of what they have during the entire period of summer. Pulling herself away from this man with a look of anger spreading on her expression. Whimpering on the inside as Reynolds never saw this side of Eliza before. She was so kind and thoughtful toward him. Never forgetting her generosity to donated a large sum of money just for his daughter Susan. Holding Eliza in his arms once again but this married woman firmly pushes herself out of his reach. Tears were streaming down his face before on his knees. Betting this kind hearted woman to not leave him alone with his wife. Despite not knowing either he was serious or was all of this an act.
Eliza:
So was your whole story a setup?
James:
I don’t know about any letter!
Eliza:
Stop crying
God damnit, get up!
James:
I didn’t know any better
Eliza:
I am ruined...
Frantically pulling her hair while her own tears flooded her face. Realizing that consequences of what this affair leading to. This could ruin an entire innocent happy marriage and another marriage leading to a divorce in court. Both of them panicking as Maria has full control of them especially Eliza. Since she did indeed fallen trip into their spider webs of lies. The married man tries to persuade to stay with in his arms. Work before and show work again. Doesn’t need any other woman but her at the time being. Even it may cost him his life. Holding her into his arms once again while wiping her tears away with a soft touch.
Eliza / James:
Please don’t leave me with her, I’m helpless
(I am helpless—how could I do this?)
Just give her what he wants and you can have me
Eliza:
I don’t want you
James:
What?
Eliza:
I don’t want you
James/Eliza
Whatever you want (I don’t...)
If you pay,
You can
Stay!!!!
Eliza wanted to pull away but didn’t have the strength nor the energy to do so. Letting Reynolds cherish her one last time. Clinging onto him before letting the small kisses into full on make out. Which them on the bed once again. Just like how the first night when they first met. Eliza feeling regretful but yet a bit satisfied about this affair. Not sure why...she didn’t even know her self. They just want the pleasurable moment for one last time.
Eliza
Lord, show me how to
Say no to this
I don’t know how to
Say no to this
Cause the situation is helpless
And his body screaming “hell yes”
Lord, show me how to
Say no to this
Eliza/James
How can I say not to this?!
Eliza:
There is nowhere I can go?!
When his body on mine I do not say
Sharing a kisses from here and there from the lips, neck, and other sort etc. James notice a matching pendant around Eliza neck. Open by itself to see the man that Eliza is currently married to in made him freeze for a moment. Just staring at the picture on the day on this woman married her husband. Shaking lightly before shutting it quickly just wanting to get this over this. That picture suddenly began mocking him. Feeling this affair might put a tired on Eliza marriage with Alexander. Which he praise that doesn't happen. Which it's rare to have this emotions that he never had before.
Still both Reynolds and Eliza mind were screaming at them.Telling these two adults that “NO! This isn’t right” basic stuff. That both of them knew but decided to ignore it.
Eliza/James/The Fandom
Yes (Yes!)
Say no to this!
No!
Yes (Yes!)
Say no to this!
No!
Yes (Yes!)
Say no to this!
No!
Yes (Yes!)
Say no to this!
After this finally orderal, Eliza slowly and shamefully getting dressed as Reynolds lay in bed. Not looking at each others seem to be the best choice at the moment. Eliza wiped a few tears feeling so dirty and disgusted with herself. Her actions. Hopefully that she can put this in the past. And forget that it ever happen in the first place. Pulling out two envelope from the pocket of her dress. Both fill with crash.
Eliza:
Say no to this...
I don’t
Eliza/James:
Say no to this
Eliza:
There is nowhere I can go
The fandom:
Go, Go, Go
Right before her stood Maria Reynolds at the doorway with a little girl by her side. Apparently, this is their daughter that James mention before. Wearing a beautiful red dress that seem to share the same color and color of her husband shirt. Having a smug look on her face full aware of what just happened since this bedroom. But she could care less since its the money she need for a lawyer during a divorce court. But sweet little Eliza doesn’t need to know about that.
Maria:
So?
The other married woman sigh in defeat as she place the two full envelope on Maria hands. About thousands dollars in total. Looking down as the child stare at in confusion and curious of what was happening. But her innocent must be protected and so for that. The deed has been done and all of this affair is just hush hush. Racing out of the house in a rush with tears threatening to leave her eyes. Returning back to the orphanage in an hour as Theodosia, Martha, Dolley didn’t notice her return. Until hearing you close the door to her office and locking it. Her back was press against the wood before sliding down as she held her knee tightly. Tears spring down to the fabric of her dress before quietly whisper to herself.
“Nobody needs to know”
Nearly given up writing this fanfic but I made myself to finish. But yeah.. hope y'all enjoy
#hamilton#hamiltrash#Hamilton fanfic#Say no to this#elizabeth hamilton#Alexander Hamilton#John Laurens#Lafayette#Hercules Mulligan#romance#affair#drama#guilty#regrets#james reynolds#Maria Reynolds#Role-Reverse
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Madness | Chpt. 5
Requests are Open
Chapter Title: “Thunder in the Rain”
Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character
Word Count: 7,968
Warnings: angst (I mean, when is it not angsty?), new character alert, also some kissing :*
Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”
A/N: Y’all are my favorite people in the universe. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc. I love you all so much! Also, please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning.
Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)
As I walked away from him, a part of me hoped to hear some kind of regret in his voice or anything at all, even. Instead, I heard nothing. He was silent. Maybe I had to do what everyone had been telling me to do all along: let him go. In my heart, I knew what would have been best for me. I knew that I would have been safer and filled with less grief if I let him go and went to Midgard to be with the Avengers and her. I knew that she would undoubtedly fill the void in my heart that Loki left there, as she had been the one to fill it ever since he fell. Still, I felt responsible for him as well as the Nine Realms. I saw the damage he had done to the world we knew as our second home. His suit was black (the absence of light), gold (what had once been my favorite color), and green (his favorite color-the color of my eyes). He attacked the part of Midgard we had last been to together. It was a night of laughter and happiness for both of us and a memory that was now clouded with pain and darkness. He still used the daggers I had given to him before he left for a battle with Thor-a battle Thor talked the Allfather into keeping me out of, as I was still recovering from the last one.
A piece of me wondered if he had a reason. Maybe he truly didn’t care for me anymore, maybe he lied to me all those years, but for what? What did he have to gain from an orphan girl? He was a God, and I was just another Asgardian. There was nothing extraordinary about me. If he wanted to manipulate someone for so long, why wouldn’t he choose someone with more power? I had to believe that it was more than that. I had to believe that there was something else that I just wasn’t seeing clearly. He was still in there. The man I knew was still holding on and fighting back this new version of himself. I didn’t know what happened or what made him turn on me so quickly, but I had a few theories of my own. Perhaps he found out about my secret from Odin that day, but I still didn’t even know how Odin would know in the first place. Maybe he fell out of love with me quicker than I had ever anticipated he could. I didn’t understand, but it wasn’t for me to try to figure out in the middle of the night when I was still sick from the ale that evening.
I made my way up to the training grounds, casting the illusion just long enough to make it past the guards. Once my eyes were dried, I dropped the illusion, finally visible again. I lifted a dulled sword from the rack and walked over to one of the training dummies before taking out every ounce of anger, frustration, and pain on it. I didn’t need to build my skills with the sword anymore. However, I knew to practice regularly to stay nimble. Tonight, however, was simply to hit the dummy as hard as possible to make my muscles sore. I just wanted to make myself tired enough that I could fall asleep for the rest of my life, and if I couldn’t achieve that, I at least wanted to be tired enough that when I laid down in bed, I could fall asleep immediately. I didn’t want to think of his harsh words or the way he glared at me like it was my fault he fell in the first place. I didn’t want to think of the mistakes I had made or the grief I felt over the loss of a man who meant so much to me.
Listening to the loud crack as my sword hit the dummy over and over again helped drown out the sorrow in my heart and the voices in my head that were even more cruel than Loki could ever even hope to be. As I growled, I thought of every moment in my life that I felt anger, every moment I felt alone, every moment I felt weak. I thought of the night he told me he hated me, the fall, when I saw him on Midgard, when I left her, when Tony Stark shed a tear for me, when she cried. There were so many moments, but they all came rushing back as the wall I had built up to keep them away finally broke down and crumbled into nothing. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack and opened my eyes to see that my last swing of the sword had been too successful, as the blade lay broken on the ground.
“For a woman as peaceful as yourself, you sure like breaking swords when you’re angry,” Thor’s voice rang out from behind me.
I whipped around, surprised by his presence. I hadn’t heard him coming, and I certainly didn’t feel him because of my clouded thoughts. As soon as I looked at him, my mind quieted once more. He was a peaceful soul with eyes as deep as the oceans. He leaned against one of the pillars with his arms crossed over his chest. His robes cascaded over his broad shoulders, and he wore a slight grin upon his lips. I shook my head, dropping the handle of the sword, which would be of no more use, “I apologize if I woke you,” I murmured, attempting to walk past him. I was in no mood for speaking as my frustration had not been washed away completely.
He caught my arm before I could pass him, and as my chest continued to heave, he spoke, “you did not wake me, Lady Eva. I figured that after you visited Loki, you would come here,” he said, hinting at the fact that he already knew what I had been up to that night. My mouth gaped open as I searched for any possible explanation other than the one he proposed. Before I could lie, he continued, “my brother has been playing tricks on me since we were children. Do you not think I can tell? Plus, I’ve known you since we were children, and I knew you would go down to see him at some point,” he shrugged.
“I had to. You can be mad, you can tell the Allfather, you can do whatever you need to do, and I won’t be upset. All I ask is that you continue fighting for him the way I have,” I said, straightening my shoulders, “I will accept whatever punishment my King sees fit.”
“Your King will never know,” Thor replied in a hushed but stern voice, “I will not be speaking a word of this to my father. You did what needed to be done, something he doesn’t believe is worth the time or energy. You’ve looked out for my brother since we were kids, and I would’ve been ignorant to believe that you would just stop because of what happened on Midgard. You still see the good in him, and I admire that because I still love him just as much as you do,” he added, “how was he?”
I stepped back over to him, and he released my arm from his grasp. I motioned around the training grounds, “well, I’m out here, so it didn’t go as well as I had anticipated. He’s still hurting, and it continues to break my heart every time I see him. I can feel his pain just as I could before, but it’s amplified.I just don’t know if I can keep doing this to myself, Thor. I don’t know if I can keep trying to save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. It would kill me to abandon him like this. His mind is chaos. He needs a moment of clarity, of peace, but...maybe I can’t give that to him,” I answered the best way I could.
“Who better to show him that moment of clarity than you?” he asked, gazing down at me with eyes that shined like the sun on my darkest day. While every other love I felt paled in comparison to that which I shared with Loki, Thor brought something else into my life, something more beautiful than life itself. He reminded me that life was not about power or status, it was about living. He had a love for all living things that matched my own, and I loved him all the more for it. Thor never pushed me away, “you have done so much for him, Eva. You may not think you’ve done enough, but you’ve done more than everyone else put together. You have sacrificed more than anyone else. All I know is that you need to take fate into your own hands sometimes. Maybe you find that you don’t want to wait for cooperation from Loki or the Allfather. All I know is that you have allowed others to control your destiny for too long, and it’s time for you to take your control back,” he added, “and if you need to talk or cry or scream, you know that I’m always here.”
My eyes filled up with tears, and I pushed them back, having cried more than enough over the situation. It felt like I couldn’t stop since the fall. It was that moment that I made the promise to myself: I would be weak no longer. I would weep over my situation no longer. I could mourn for the man Loki once was or give him no other option other than to accept my help. As my chest continued to heave due to the unchecked frustration, I grabbed the back of Thor’s neck and attacked his lips with my own. It was the only thing that felt right. It only lasted for a second before the shock forced him away from me, and he held me at a short distance. He cleared his throat, color filling his cheeks, “why did-what are you...we can’t do this when you’re still a bit drunk, Eva. I don’t know if this is you or the ale from earlier, but...you aren’t in the right state of mind for this right now,” he noted, chuckling to lighten the mood.
“Does that really matter anymore?” I asked, closing the space between us once more, and he allowed me, “I want this. Do you want this?” I asked, gazing up into his eyes.
He sighed, “you know I do, and you know I’ve wanted this for a long time. There’s a reason I haven’t done anything since we were young, though, Eva. You belong with Loki, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I love both of you too much to ruin what you have,” he whispered, his arm snaking around my waist, telling a very different story than the one spilling from his lips.
“What do you think you would be ruining? The rubble of our love? Do you think you can shatter heart we shared anymore? Could you kill a flower that was already dead?” I asked, realizing that, while I loved Loki more than life itself, he loved me no longer, “I will love your brother until the day I die, but he has hurt me so much, I think I deserve a moment of happiness. I deserve to remember the sweetness of love, which is something I have forgotten the taste of for so long. Remind me...please,” I begged, grasping onto his robes in a desperate attempt to let him know that I would not hold anything against him.
He searched my eyes for any hesitation that could have been lingering there, but he found none. He found only loneliness and grief. Perhaps he felt sorry for me, or perhaps he was giving into urges that had lain dormant since our childhood. Either way, he kissed me. I threw my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist, grunting lightly when he pressed me against the pillar he had been leaning on only moments ago. His lips were smoother than I had remembered them, and I could feel the areas he bit when he was nervous. As his left hand grasped my thigh, offering me an extra level of support aside from the pillar, his right hand steadied my face as he kissed me with more passion than I’d ever anticipated.
To my disapproval, his lips departed from mine, and he began to sprinkle kisses along my jaw and down to my neck, a place Loki always loved. As I squeezed my eyes shut, I forced the thought of him from my mind and focused on Thor. When he grazed his teeth against my neck, I arched my body into his, feeling a shiver run through me. As I arched into him, his arms wrapped around my body, squeezing me against him hard enough for me to feel every muscle and every crease even through the clothes. For the first time in such a long time, I felt small in someone’s arms. Aaldir, Hjalmar, and Loki always made me feel that way, like I never needed to worry when they were around. However, she had the opposite effect on me. I was the one to make her feel small, the one to protect her. Ever since her, I had not felt like the small one until now.
With one arm still draped over his shoulder, balancing myself, I grabbed his face with my other hand and turned his head so that he was looking into my eyes. I saw joy and desire and so much anticipation. I pressed my lips to his once more before pulling away and trailing kisses along his defined jaw and down to his neck. His hold on me tightened as I ran my lips along a sensitive spot. As I kissed him, he walked us down the hallway toward his chambers. He opened the doors with his back and shut them with his foot. When we were finally in the comfort of his room, he peeled me off of him and pushed me down onto the bed. I chewed on my bottom lip and laughed as his eyes scanned over my body.
Before I could react or speak, he joined me on the bed, nestling his body between my legs and proceeding to kiss me once more. As soon as I felt his warmth, Loki’s face flashed behind my closed eyes. I tried to blink away the tears in my eyes, but it was like he could feel my hesitance. He pulled away from the kisses and pushed himself off of me in an attempt to figure out where he had gone wrong. I shook my head, trying to collect myself, but I was failing miserably. The promise I made to myself such a short time ago was already being broken as I began to cry, “I’m sorry, Thor. I’m sorry,” I broke down, hiding my face in my hands. I felt so much guilt in that moment, so much anger at myself for being so stupid as to believe that I could just replace the love I received from Loki.
As soon as I began to cry, Thor crawled over to me and wrapped me up in his strong arms, “I know that you don’t want to hear this right now, but as your friend, I need to say it,” he stated as my body quivered and trembled in the arms of the man I wished I was meant to be with. If I was destined to be with Thor, my life would have been so much easier because he would have loved me from the very beginning until the very end. I wouldn’t have felt this pain. Maybe I was just cursed, though. Maybe it was my fault that Loki was hurt the way he was. Maybe I was at the center of his pain. Before my mind could continue down the darkened trail any further, Thor spoke, “I love you, Eva. I have loved you since before I can remember, and I’ve never stopped loving you. For a long time, I wished that you chose me instead of Loki. I wished that you would find happiness with me, but I always knew that you two were meant for each other. Even though it kills me to say it, you and I don’t belong together. You belong with Loki. You always have. And I can’t let my love for you ruin your relationship anymore than it already has,” he said, grief clear in his deep voice.
I shook my head, wiping my tears away as I found the strength to gaze up at him, “you didn’t ruin our relationship, Thor. You had nothing to do with this,” I murmured.
He sighed, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
*Thor’s POV*
I had been more surprised that she stayed after I told her the story of that day, more surprised than I was that she didn’t try to hit me. Instead, we shed tears together, and I sat with her until she fell asleep. After I told her what happened and apologized profusely, she lessened my guilt by being adamant about how it wasn’t my fault. Still, I could see the pain the truth brought her. She was heartbroken, and she went to sleep that way. A piece of me wished I had kept it from her, but it had been two years of her questioning why Loki turned his back on her, and I knew the truth.
Unable to sleep, I found myself with Heimdall in the Bifrost. Though even looking at the Bifrost brought Eva a sense of misery, she spent much time in the very spot I was standing, and I knew that it was because the her fear and sadness over that fateful day paled in comparison to love she had for the Midgardians and...her. She asked about them often, and Heimdall would always fill her in on the health and well-being of each of them. She was always the most concerned about Tony, the two of them having a special connection that I could not understand. Steve also held a special place in her heart, which I could understand much more. He was a soldier and always put the needs of everyone else above his own. He didn’t like to fight, but he did so that others could know peace. Eva did the same.
As I stood next to Heimdall, staring out at the stars, I felt his gaze shift over to me for a fraction of a second, “you told her,” he noted, clearly having cast his gaze upon us when he felt her distress. The two of them were connected the same way her and I were connected. It paled in comparison to Loki’s connection to her, but we could feel when something wasn’t quite right.
I nodded my head, “I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t keep it from her any longer. She deserved to know the truth,” I insisted, feeling guilty that I brought her to an even deeper level of grief but feeling hopeful that it would help her see the truth, that she had done nothing wrong, “she’s become far more destructive since Hjalmar’s death, and I sensed that she was spiraling. She’s lost so much. She blames herself for Hjalmar’s death, and she blames herself for Aaldir’s sorrow. She blames herself for Loki’s turn and believed it to have been her fault, like she could’ve stopped him from wreaking havoc on Midgard. She had every right to know the truth,” I added
“You are not wrong,” he stated, gazing back out at the stars, “she sacrificed so much for Loki, but I fear that she will now try even harder to free him, even if it means committing treason. She has no reason to show the Allfather anymore respect, for she now knows that he played a pivotal role in pushing your brother over the edge,” he added, and I gazed over at his solemn expression. He lowered his grief-stricken eyes, “I fear for her safety if she tries to disobey the orders of the King.”
“You have my word that I will do everything in my power to keep her from doing anything reckless, but she has never listened to me the way she listened to Hjalmar,” I said, thinking of one of my dearest friends, “how is he?” I asked, hoping for some words of comfort about Hjalmar’s new home in Valhalla.
Heimdall sighed, “I...cannot see him,” he confessed, hesitant to speak the words to me. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused as to how the gatekeeper and the guardian of the Nine Realms could lose track of someone. Before I could ask any questions, he turned his haunting gaze upon me, “I have searched for him, hoping to regale Eva with some stories of him when she came; however, I have not found him. I have searched every realm, every planet, every moon. I have searched the entirety of Valhalla, and I even looked for him in the Realm of the Dead. Still, I have found nothing,” he said, turning back to the stars, “I suggest keeping this between us for the time being. There is no need to put her through anymore pain right now,” he stated, strongly.
I nodded my head, “but what if she comes to you and asks about him?”
He frowned, the mere thought of it bringing a sour taste to his mouth, “then I will be forced to break the heart of a princess.”
*1 week later*
After another night spent watching over Eva and getting barely any sleep, I found myself standing beside my father, the man who was the cause of so much of her grief. She knew it now. She knew what he had done, and while I was surprised that she didn’t hate me for the role I had to play in Loki’s downfall, I was unsure of how generous she would be with my father. The two of us watched her as she practically danced around the training grounds with Sif and Ephinea. She hated fighting, but there was a side of her that came out when she fought that I had never seen before. She was skilled in battle the way no other man or woman could ever even hope to be. She blocked the attacks from each of the goddesses, and the two of them pulled no punches. Sif and Ephinea never went easy on Eva, so for Eva to hold her own against the Goddess of War and the Goddess of Strength, respectively, said so much about her skills.
As gracefully as she blocked what would have been a “finishing blow” from Ephinea, she began to take the offensive, swinging the dulled swords and moving like the ocean. I had gotten the chance to see her on the battlefield so many times throughout my life, and it always left me in awe. She had a plethora of her own weapons, many of which Aaldir had crafted for her or helped in the crafting process. He had given her two short swords that she used on occasion, and he also gave her the greatsword she used most of the time. Loki had gifted her a set of daggers, which were delicately crafted but stronger than anyone could anticipate due to their beauty. She danced around Sif and Ephinea, fighting both of them and successfully knocking them down and finishing them. After her success, she helped them back up onto their feet before starting again. I glanced over at my father, “she has grown far more skilled in the art of battle than even you could have anticipated,” I smiled, gesturing to her.
He nodded, a faint smile tugging at his lips underneath his beard, “if this is how you plan to sway my mind on the matters she has brought up time and again, it will not work,” he reminded me.
I shrugged my shoulders, “it wasn’t my intention, but it would’ve been nice,” I stated, gazing upon the girl who was so strong but so broken, “she has a point, you know...about Loki,” I murmured, wanting my words to be between us. I watched as his eyebrows raised in shock, which was understandable as I had always been fairly quiet on the matter, never explicitly taking anyone’s side, “I don’t believe you to be delusional, which is why I think you know-as well as she does-that Loki doesn’t belong in the dungeons. He is far more dangerous around people who think like him. His mind was corrupted far more after he fell. Even if we could get him back to the way he was before, when he was only trying to take over the throne, instead of killing hundreds of innocent people on Midgard, it would be better than leaving him down there,” I explained, hoping that he would listen to me with an open heart and open mind, unlike when he listened to Eva make the same case about Loki.
He gazed over at me, the icy blue eye as solemn as ever, “so, you are proposing the same thing? I release Loki into Eva’s care, knowing that he is a weakness for her? Knowing that she could never do what needed to be done if it came to it?” he asked, “I simply implore you to think through every scenario,” he added, sensing that he had offended me.
I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing that he was not completely sincere, “no, you are asking me to doubt her. You are asking me to trust her less, but you don’t know her the way I do. You didn’t see her on Midgard the way I saw her. You have no idea what she has done-the sacrifices she has made-for the good of the Nine Realms, for the good of Asgard. You don’t see what she has given up, but I have,” I growled under my breath, angry that he would try to plant the seed of doubt in my mind.
He shook his head, “I do not wish for you to doubt her, but I do wish for you to look at this from a place of objectivity. If you did, you would have the same doubts I do,” he replied, a voice as calm as the breeze that morning.
“I can look at this objectively, and that’s why I believe she could take on this task. While we cannot go back and rewrite the past, she can turn the tides in our favor. If she were somehow able to turn Loki back to our side, think of what our strength could be with an ally like him! We would be much stronger with him as our ally than with him as our enemy,” I exclaimed, gesturing out at her, “look at her, Father! Truly see her for what she is! She’s no goddess, but she possesses the same skills as one. I don’t think this is coincidence. I truly believe that she is meant to be much more than another Asgardian woman.”
“You have much to learn about her, my son,” he frowned, trying to force a smile and failing. I watched as the look in his eye became distant, like he was revisiting a memory that brought him pain. He tried to push it away, but it lingered there.
I shook my head, “I know all there is to know about her. I know her better than I know myself most of the time,” I chuckled, gazing out at the woman I was in love with. For a long time, I fancied Ephinea and Sif. The two women were stronger than anyone gave them credit for, but I couldn’t talk to them the same way I could talk to Eva. Eva was just...special. I knew every little thing about her, even though I was sure my brother knew far more, things I couldn’t even imagine. I glanced back up at my father, “there’s nothing I don’t know,” I assured him, thinking of the many secrets she had hidden from him, secrets he would never even know.
“There is so much you don’t know about her, so much that you need to know,” he said, a sad smile spreading across his lips as he gazed out at her once more before stepping away from the railing and turning to face down the hallway, “walk with me and learn,” he motioned, and I obeyed, falling in step with him and casting one final glance back at Eva. Once we were far enough away from the prying eyes and ears of everyone else, he began speaking, slowing his pace, “before you or I, before my father and his father before him, Asgard was created. Where once there had been nothing, we received a land of beauty, peace, and salvation. This was the place where the Asgardians could call home, a place that was more beautiful and rich with life than any other, and we took it all for granted,” he explained.
“The land began to dry up. Where there had once been lush forests and beautiful mountains in the distance, it was barren. The Asgardians who lived her long ago took from the world but never thought to give back. They built this city upon her natural beauty, hiding the plentiful gifts she bore to them. The creeks and streams began to dry up. People believed that it was the world’s way of grieving. She had always provided for them, always gave more of herself than they could possibly take, but they did not rejoice as their ancestors once did. They took the gift of life for granted, and they took this realm for granted. They did not thank the world for her blessings, and they did not live their lives the way we were meant to,” he continued.
“The drought of the world continued. Food was more difficult to come by, and we were running out of fresh water. We began sending people to various realms to acquire what we needed and bring it back here. We had already stripped our world of all she had to offer, and we were doing the same with as many others as possible. Life was dwindling, and we were unsure about the future of Asgard,” he said before letting out a long sigh. When I cast my eyes over to his face, I saw that he was reliving a memory that haunted him, and a sadness came over him that I hadn’t seen before, “I had an older brother growing up, a man I’ve never spoken about, a man no one speaks of anymore,” he confessed.
I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering how it could be that an entire piece of Asgard’s history was lost to me, “I forbid his name to be spoken, and there are not many who remember him, not the way I do,” he frowned, “Cul was older, stronger, and much more capable than I was. He believed himself to be the rightful King of Asgard, and when my father-your grandfather-died, Cul took the throne for himself. My father had groomed me to take his place after he died, but my brothers and I allowed Cul to rule because of his promise to keep us as his close advisors, a promise he broke shortly after his coronation. He picked from a group of his loyal followers to be his advisors. It wasn’t until he took the throne that we saw just how twisted he was, how his desire to rule festered into a madness we had never seen before.”
As we walked into the throne room, he stopped and stared up at the golden throne for a long moment, “he ordered that we strip the other planets of their resources, and if we were met with hesitation, we were to take the resources by force. He wanted to make it clear that no one would stand in his way. A part of me wants to believe that he had good intentions, that he wanted to show the Nine Realms that Asgard was still a powerful seat. However, the more he took from other planets, the faster ours was dying, so my brothers and I did what needed to be done. We stopped him,” he said, frowning at the memory. I could tell that it brought him so much pain even recalling it, so I couldn’t imagine the pain he went through when he lived it so long ago, “there was a bloodbath in this throne room. My younger brothers fell that day along with so many others, and it came down to just Cul and I. He had sent his followers away to spare their lives because he knew I wouldn’t kill him, that I would spare his life because of the ancient rules, rules he never followed but rules I couldn’t break,” he explained, glancing back over at me.
I furrowed my eyebrows, “but you broke them on that day?” I guessed, hoping it to be true.
He shook his head, a few strands of white hair falling out of place, “I couldn’t, and it wasn’t because of the ancient rules. I couldn’t kill him because he was my brother, he wasn’t the King of Asgard, not to me. I couldn’t kill him because I could still remember running around the palace with him and getting in trouble for fooling around for too long when I should have been studying battle techniques. Instead, I banished him to the Realm of Death, hoping that Death would be able to do to him what I could not bring myself to do. It was where he belonged. He delivered so many souls to Death that day alone that he deserved to face them all once more,” he said, glancing back over at the throne and narrowing his eyes, “but if I could go back with the knowledge I have now, I would have killed him when I had the chance because-”
Before he could explain his reasoning, a booming voice caused the entirety of Asgard to quake beneath our feet. It was the first time in my life I saw pure fear in my father’s eyes, “Odin!”
*Eva’s POV*
I stood in the courtyard that overlooked the Rainbow Bridge. Thor and Odin stood side-by-side in front of Sif, Ephinea, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, and I. Behind us were members of Odin’s kingsguard. While I had not wished to even wake up at all that week-let alone see the Allfather-I stood there out of the love I had for Asgard and my willingness to protect the people from any intruder, including the one that stood before us with his battleaxe strapped to his back. He stood the same height as Hjalmar once did, only slightly taller than the God of Thunder himself. The man before us all held himself like a King with his shoulder straightened and his head held high. He looked massive, like he was a force to be reckoned with. I had never met him, but he looked so oddly familiar to me, like a face I had seen only once before.
Dark brown hair that matched his short beard fell in waves nearly as long as mine, but he pulled the strands from his face and fastened them behind his head to see clearly. Even from our distance, I could see myself clearly in his piercing green eyes. Those eyes were filled with so much anger, so much hatred, but they were still so beautiful and pure...a green that matched the colors of spring. My breath hitched in my throat, and it felt like I was going to suffocate. I knew those eyes. I knew them from somewhere, and when he spoke, I began trembling with unchecked fear, “I am Ezra, son of Cul, and I have been sent here by my father, Cul, son of Bor, the rightful heir to the throne of Asgard. I have been instructed to deliver a message to the usurper, your false king,” he spat out, grimacing at Odin. I was shocked by his words, unsure whether or not they were truthful. I had never heard of Odin having any brothers aside from Vili and Ve, and neither of them had any children of their own. It was clear by the looks on the faces of my comrades that I was not the only one who was confused by his claims.
Even if he did, Odin was our King, and for an outsider to show up in Asgard and insult the throne, it was unacceptable. While I was angry at Odin for justifiable reasons, I did not hate him, and I would still fight to protect Asgard and her people. As I made a motion to step forward, Ephinea put out her hand to hold me back. When I tried to pass her still, she grabbed my arm, making her movements as small and unnoticeable as possible to keep from gaining the attention of the the outsider. She gave my wrist a gentle squeeze, trying to remind me without words that this wasn’t the right time. The small motions still pulled the attention of Ezra, and he glanced over at me in particular. His green eyes scanned over my body, and he smirked, “you’re just itching to kill me, aren’t you?” he asked before glancing back at Odin, “I see why you keep some of your best warriors chained up in the dungeons-like your son. It must be terrifying to have this one roaming around,” he said, gesturing to me.
A fury erupted in my chest as he mentioned Loki. I gritted my teeth, my chest continuing to rise and fall at an alarming rate. Still, I remained silent, not wishing to escalate the situation. Odin spoke up, “did you come here to discuss the population of Asgard’s dungeons, or do you have another motive?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. He was pulling a page out of Loki’s book, smiling in the face of danger. It was one of the things that made me love Loki even more, and it made me see Odin as so much more than I had been willing to in the past. In that moment, he became so much more three-dimensional than ever before. While he had forsaken Loki in the past and made his own mistakes, there was a piece of him that still loved the young trickster. When I saw him find his confidence the way Loki did, it made me think of the impact Loki’s actions must’ve had on the Allfather. While I wished to speak with Odin about it, I knew that this was neither the time nor the place for such discussions.
Ezra cast one more glance over at me with a smirk that made me sick to my stomach, but he turned his attention back to Odin when I grimaced at him, “my father sent me with his demands. In his exile, he has been building allegiances with many people within the Nine Realms and beyond, and I can assure you that none of them are particularly fond of Asgard. They would be willing and able to tear Asgard apart at my father’s command, but he is willing to go about this peacefully,” Ezra stated in a menacing tone.
“And what does Cul want in return for his promise of peace?” Odin inquired.
Ezra chuckled, stepping forward, “he wants the throne back, the throne you stole from him,” he growled, pointing a finger at the Allfather, “he demands you hand over the throne of Asgard, and in return, you will be exiled to the Realm of Death just like you did to him. As I see it, you have two options: you can surrender and meet his demands, which will lead to a peaceful life for your people; or, you can resist, which will lead to our return and the subsequent bloodbath that will take place. Either way, we will take the throne of Asgard, but your decision could save thousands,” Ezra said, offering Odin the ultimatum as if he was in any position to do that. He came to Asgard with no supporters behind him and threatened a King with the entire Asgardian army at his disposal.
Odin smiled at the man in front of him, and I saw the condescending undertones, causing me to smile as well. While I harbored some ill will toward him upon recent news, I could not bring myself to hate him or declare that he was a poor king. He held himself with strength and dignity, which was something that would not work in the strangers favor, “you forget the third option,” he smirked, and Ezra cocked his head, clenching his fists, “it’s where I let your armies come, and I defeat Cul just like I did all those years ago. I had no problem doing it then, and I won’t fail now. You do not look for peace, but I pity you if you try to fight us. We know much about what must be sacrificed to maintain peace, and I do not wish for a war. However, I will do what needs to be done should your father attempt to wage a war against Asgard and her allies,” he explained, “so, you can tell my brother that his proposition was met with resistance.”
Ezra chuckled, stepping even closer to Odin. As soon as he was too close, the entire army behind us drew their weapons, but Odin raised a hand, wishing to entertain the boy for even longer. I listened to the warriors lower their weapons, but they did not put them back in the sheathe. I glanced down at Thor’s hands that were balled up in fists. Ezra leaned in close to Odin and spoke, “well, I came here for your surrender, and I’m not about to leave empty-handed,” he murmured before stepping away from the two of them and pointing at me. Once more, his eyes trailed along every piece of my body before locking eyes with me, “I’ll take that one,” he dictated, closing the space between the two of us.
Before he could stand directly in front of me, Ephinea stepped between the two of us, “try to take her, and I will rip you in half with my bare hands,” she threatened, rage clear in her voice. She had always been like an older sister to me, so it didn’t surprise me that she would react like that to someone who was threatening my safety.
Ezra glanced over at her but then back at me, “call off your dog, pet,” he instructed, cocking his head to the side with a smile filled with false admiration.
I scowled at the nickname he decided to give me, and I felt a chill run down my spine at the thought that I could be traded off to ensure peace, even if that peace would be short-lived. Odin’s stunned silence was not helping ease my troubled thoughts, but I had to act with strength and grace just as I always tried to, just as my father taught me all my life. I raised my hand and rested it upon Ephinea’s shoulder as I stepped out from behind her. She gazed over at me, horrified and flustered because of my actions. She had no idea what I was planning to do or why I was planning to do it, but I offered her a short glance that I hoped would set her mind at ease. When I stepped between her and Ezra, he didn’t break eye contact with me. He smirked, one of his eyes twitching ever so slightly as he narrowed them at me.
He searched my eyes-for what, I didn’t know-and when he didn’t find what he was looking for, he grabbed my chin and brought his face impossibly closer to mine, “tell me, what is it you want, pet? Do you wish for acceptance? Strength? Power? A real family? A place where you belong?” he asked, “I’m sorry to break your heart, but you won’t find any of that here, not with the current ruler. And, what about Loki? I’m sure you want him back, too, don’t you?” he asked, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. How did Ezra know about Loki? How did he know about my deepest desires? As I stared up at him with wide eyes, terrified that he was able to pick me apart so easily. He raised his eyebrows, sympathy crossing over his face, “you have so much to learn, beautiful, and if you cooperate, we’ll give you the answers you seek and the opportunity to live out the rest of your life with Loki,” he murmured before grabbing a fistful of my hair and pulling me even closer to him, “but should you fail, I will find your girl on Midgard and tear her apart in front of you just for fun!” he growled, my heart twisting and shattering into a million pieces before he pushed me down onto the ground.
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Thor’s loud voice boomed, almost like thunder itself. I could barely think of anything aside from Ezra’s threat. I was paralyzed with fear at the very idea that enemies of Asgard knew about her, that they could use her against me. Thor spoke as I tried to collect myself, “you are sorely mistaken if you think we’ll just hand her over to you. Now, we have entertained this madness for long enough. If you try to take her, you will not live to see another sunrise,” Thor promised, glancing down at me and nodding his head. I knew that I would have nothing to fear with Thor by my side. Even if Odin, for some reason, wanted to send me away, Thor would betray his father just to keep me safe.
Ezra chuckled again, laughing in the face of the God of Thunder, “I haven’t seen a sunrise in nearly 300 years,” he confessed, and a piece of my heart broke for him. I couldn’t help but see small pieces of Loki in him, the anger, the pain, the hate. I had nothing to compare Ezra to, though. I knew the man Loki used to be, so I knew that pieces of him were still alive. Still, everyone could be saved, and that included the enemies of Asgard. Ezra continued, “no matter! I’m used to taking what I want by any means necessary, and I don’t lose,” he said before unsheathing his axe in one swift motion and swinging it down toward Thor.
In the split second it took Ezra to begin the attack, I jumped up to my feet and drew Hellbreaker, one of the many swords my father had helped forge for me. Right before his blade could graze my prince, I stepped in front of it, catching the handle of his battleaxe with the blade of my sword and stopping him from hurting Thor. His eyes widened in clear astonishment. I was sure someone like him didn’t anticipate anything extraordinary, especially not from the person he nicknamed “pet” only moments prior. I pushed him away from the Thor and I, “you don’t lose?” I asked, grinning up at the intruder, “well, neither do I!”
#loki#loki imagine#loki imagines#marvel#marvel imagines#marvel imagine#imagine#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston imagine#mcu#mcu imagine#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#ofc#original female character#original character#oc#angst#fluff#love#thor odinson#thor ragnarok#madness fic#fanfic#fic#long fic#marvel fanfiction#madness
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i already have a question was that jessica lucas playing an extra or just like... her twin lmfao
this whole game is so stupid i cant deal with this like we get it ras, you saw jumanji
the scene hasnt even started but alice already being pregnant is stupid. ras is stupid. alice is stupid. madchen is stupid cuz she ultimately led us here and i will never forgive her
also alice is an unreliable narrator and nothing she says is fact except for all the gay fredsythe shit. thats canon
why are we doing 80s when theyre in the 90s god..... i hate this show i had a whole soundtrack ready in my mind. it was mainly nirvana but ... its what fp wouldve wanted
alice had no friends gee... i wonder why...
IS THE WRITING THAT BAD OR IS IT CAMIS DELIVERY WHAT WAS THAT
lmfao fp blew alice off ok ya know.... im dying that they try so hard to set up flice as some epic romance meanwhile they could not give two shits about each other. obviously my boy was going around fucking every girl how else was he supposed to convince his dad he wasnt getting plowed by fred on the daily
alice and penelope.... gay. lesbians. gay lesbians. in love. always. OH COME ON YOU HAVE THE NERDY BITCHY CHICK WITH THE ASSHOLE FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? HELLO???
fp would bring up his arm being in a cast for literally no reason what does that have to do with streaking fp? hes always been a dumb bitch at least thats consistent
IM NEVER IN MY LIFE GETTING OVER FRED APPEARING OUT OF THIN FUCKING AIR TO A MEETING OF A SPORTS TEAM HES NOT EVEN FUCKING ON JUST TO RUN NAKED WITH FP ARE YOU..... WHAT..... GOD...
fred really just wanted to get detention with fp so they could have a date im cry
ras really loves his saved by the bell references huh
alice no one wants to hear your hoe stories unless theyre gay or with hal
is fp asleep with his hand over his face lmao ok thats my son
of all the time i spent talking about fp carving his initials all over the school... and they give it to alice.... fuck you. anyway riverdale high is littered with fj + fa in a heart thanks for coming to my tedtalk
tom and sierra did not date in high school. but also thats not tom so
penelope would love heathers ok.... thats my mom
and shes in love with sierra wow we stan
wow fred the gay just keeps jumping out
fred really went to look at fp before talking about how he wanted to stay in riverdale his whole life.... god he already had their wedding planned i know it
ok fred literally had no reaction to hermiones hand on his knee so... guess the feelings come later? or its bad acting idk
oh... hmm.... so... was fred too living on elm street at this time? or is it just coincidence fps dream life takes place on the street fred will eventually settle down on.... we dont know..... either way... gay
also alice exposing fp? BUT YALL GONNA SAY THIS IS ROMANTIC OR TRAGIC OR WHATEVER BULLSHIT LIKE NAH SON. ITS JUST MEAN
yall + alice think her life wouldve been better if she married fp and had chic but like... even she herself is saying fps gonna end up a drunk like his dad so ???? next
ok so like.... on the one hand fp wanting to be the first jones to go to college makes me emotional but like .... forsythe senior being a serpent? makes no sense.... i mean... i guess? if we’re rewriting history. but uh.... literally last season fp said he joined after his dad threw him out but i guess that never happened now so whatever. but why as an adult would he want to go back to the serpents? i get desperate times blah blah but.... and then to lead the gang? idk.... and then to have your own son lead it? nah
so sierra been knew about the sisters and never did anything?? ok
ok i will say this level of stupid drama is right up there with 90s soaps so like... kudos to that lmfao
fred gave fp half his sandwich just like julia and i have been saying get... out... :’)
alice carved fp and freds initials next to each other lmfao even she knew! bitch!
fred draping himself over the desks is gay culture
i literally cannot handle all the subtle fredsythe happening in this episode ras really came for my whole fucking scalp
FP AND HERMIONE FUCKED IM SORRY I DONT MAKE THE RULES
penelopes so fucking gay... so fucking gay. good for her
fp and hermiones season 1 interactions are suddenly making so much sense they... were in love we just need to accept this and move on with our lives
hermione: so fp what went down between you and alice. fp: not me thats for sure!
fp putting on the crown and fred immediately going into a sword fight... so anyway they fucked!
they really trying to force this heterosexual nonsense down our throats like im sorry its too little too late fred and fp are gay i can never buy anything heterosexual interaction again. besides the ones i deem appropriate. i am the gatekeeper.
WHO IS PENELOPE FIGHTING WITH THAT STANCE
why are they in the same outfits all the time ???
michael sounds so much like his dad but like just with maybe a deeper register. i love baby hiram hes the only son i claim. besides gay fredsythe. but the flice and fremione scenes are when theyre dead to me. ok i can forgive fremione. kinda
FREDHEADS DIDNT EXIST TIL SENIOR YEAR I WILL KEEP SHOUTING THIS FROM THE ROOFTOPS AND FRED AND FP WERE THE ONLY MEMBERS EXCEPT OCCASIONALLY TOM BUT IM HAPPY TO KNOW MY BOY FP WAS ON DRUMS THATS CUTE AS HELL
interesting how fp was supposed to tell alice freds dad died. fp had to console his boyfriend he didnt have time to call alice ok
penelope and alice, fred and fp, sierra and hermione sitting across from each other. these are riverdales endgames.
also i know fp was running his foot up freds leg soothingly under the table dont play with me. he couldnt do much more than that they were in public he had to comfort his boyfriend somehow
penelope essentially: WE TAKE THIS TO OUR GRAVE!
fp..... honey... no.... spit is not necessary
everybody wants to rule the world is a fucking bop tho so ill forgive them this
ok but fred HAD THE BAND SENIOR YEAR HELLO
hermione spent the whole episode talking about how she wanted hiram and now at the end she gets with him but doesnt want it? lies
FRED AND FP ARE ROMEO AND JULIET STOP TRYNA SAY EVERYONE ELSE IS. BITCH
also fp.... won them the state championship senior year so.... he... didnt give that up omfg i hate this
yall.... they did hal so dirty i cant believe. i mean... ugh whatever i dont care
but fred and hermione went on a date senior year.... ok
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either it was a case of a) ignoring obvious context clues or b) forgetting outright statements in the books or most likely c) both, but i didnt Get that lucius malfoy had been the like head death eater pre-voldemorts quasideath. it makes sense obviously but it makes everything even more ironic? poetic? whatever that basically voldemorts handling of the malfoys was one of the most dumbassed things he did, both by complete accident/coincidence/luck and by voldemorts own crappy choices which make it infinitely easier to off him like i hadnt really thought about it in an organized fashion before knowing that lucius used to be #1 but i guess that just made it more beautiful or something. because its in part all great and heartwarming and stuff that the good choices of good people doing their best does lead to direct successes, but its also great when things that arent supposed to be important or even relevant come into play and small undignified things end up being as crucial as the more grand and dramatic stuff. plus, dumbledore is representing the Man With A Long Con Plan, and he sucks. whereas harry is always just playing by ear and doing all the real work out here anyways it all also makes sense why draco malfoy remains so prominent throughout the series, even in say, book 4, where he truly does nothing impactful save tell harry he sucks and be transfigured into a ferret by a death eater. he's in the top ten characters per mention re: the series as a whole, and even stays in the top twenty chars by mention in dh, where he's hardly even around. i know this from trivia games. and he's like the first hogwarts peer harry meets, right. but the point is despite being introduced as a rival who seems to be heading towards simply being a nuisance, his tangential arc is not only important even when he's only being an annoying dumbass but also voldemort's own bullshit causing his own demise like firstly, it was useful that lucius malfoy was Death Eater Man The First because he essentially raised his child in a cult in an attempt to pretty much clone himself, which sort of worked until like, book 6. which, a fun fact if you overlook these kinds of connect-the-dots clues in the books like i do, means it makes sense why draco made an attempt to befriend harry in the first place and why that attempt was so blindingly crappy: that pre-voldemorts return, former death eaters thought harry potter might turn out to be the next mega evil wizard, so it was probably a lucius-endorsed maneuver, what with it being repeatedly established that lucius's strategy in things is to associate himself with powerful people and try to gain influence and protection that way. but when harry was like fuck off with that, draco realized that harry was just an sjw, even though technically antagonizing hp was not lucius-endorsed. and the cult thing comes into play both in the worst friendship offering of all time and in draco wanting to knock harry down a peg at all times, in that not only was draco brought up on the belief of wide concepts like wizpremacy and blood purity and a voldemort renaissance would be amazing and death eaters are the best, but also the concept that as a pureblood and a malfoy they had an elitism that would be recognized anywhere, so not only should harry have been interested in befriending him and recognizing him as top quality but so should the whole god damn school, neither of which happened, so he takes it all out on harry on account of being jealous and a little shit but maybe that self-appointed rivalry wouldve died down if harry hadn't also been drawn into the pettiness of it all, thank god for it, because it is a) vital to murdering voldemort and b) pretty funny sometimes, when thats the context of the situation, on account of draco's role fluctuating between harmless annoyance to actual threat/antagonist even within the same books. e.g. how in poa, he's sort of indirectly causing real problems via hippogriff executions, but at the same time the part where he shows up and has snape make ron and harry do his potion for him is a little hilarious. i think ron hit him in the face with a crocodile heart in CoS, maybe. potions is where its all happening. but anyways, the point is that harry kind of drags draco along in remaining relevant because theyre both dumb as hell, and immature. like, draco's relevant in the first book because all the little things are more relevant to harry then and he's presumably not happy about once again being hated for no good reason. and in the second one, the trio think draco is the heir of slytherin for a while. he has the buckbeak thing in the third book, in goblet of fire he's really just there in the background being annoying, unhelpful, racist, etc, as per usual but its all so unimportant i barely remember half of what he's even doing in that book. but anyways, like with the other books, despite being outstripped as a real "threat" in harry's world by that point, its still important he's relevant in the fifth book as well, because he's obviously important in the sixth but in a way that started in the fifth book, which means by extension its a way that started in books 1-4 as well because in book 5, even though for once he has some mild direct form of power besides the really powerful yet indirect factor of having a rich dad involved in politics, malfoy still doesnt really manage much. until he manages the fairly major victory of raiding dumbledores army. which didnt turn out to be important since they got out of that tight spot, but it was important because it introduced draco to the room of requirement the 6th book is like, its funny that the reason harry suspected malfoy so much besides seeing a sort of suspicious conversation or two, is mostly just that he's got a grudge against him and also is wondering why draco seems to have gotten a hobby besides annoying him all the time, which is funny because its just accurate. and also relies on their history in all the previous books. but what was really up was that, again, voldemort was ruining everything for himself. on account of deciding to make an example of the malfoys as a way of punishing lucius for totally botching the dept of mysteries thing. like, thats great and all, but it kind of backfires in the whole death-eater-cult thing draco had going on in that he was seeing evidence that being a death eater actually was the worst and everyone was jerks, and that the guy he was modeling himself after was now the lowest amongst them, and voldemorts a dick and his return is actually shitty, and again that they arent seen as The Best for being malfoys, and things arent The Best because voldemorts back, but instead it is bullshit and theyre considered the worst for being malfoys. and the whole Cult Teaching Style really backfires in that sense since when parts of it get disproved to someone the whole thing is now liable to collapse too. and his execution mission was Useful in a load of ways. including that besides the regular voldemort stress there was the stress of malfoy figuring out he wasn't actually up for murder re: katie bell and ron almost dying in the crossfire. which you'd think he mightve thought of before voldemort returned with all his murder agenda, but maybe he really did just assume he'd make a great stone cold killer. presumably there wasnt a lot of thinking shit through about taking on the whole mission in the first place anyways, then the room of requirement is important because he needs it to actually succeed, which apparently none of the masterminds behind the whole thing (voldemort, dumbledore, snape) accounted for. and that whole deal on the astronomy tower just did the important stuff of a) proving to draco that he can't actually kill anyone and b) showing harry that draco disarmed dumbledore, for the whole elder wand business and then the other reason that voldemort inadvertently turned the malfoys against him was that, by sending their son off to die while simultaneously antagonizing them at all times, of course he made the situation such that by the 7th book even bullshit lucius is really mostly interested in their family making it out alive, which as per usual means doing whatever it takes with whoevers on top to do so. total #malfoys, ttly slytherin. but anyways? honestly? there were such infinitely better ways to use the fact that the malfoy family actually gave a shit about each other besides "you did this wrong so i'll kill your kid as punishment." on account of that just gives them reason to resent voldemort, would have left them with a lot less to lose should draco have actually died (did voldemort expect dumbledore to actually kill a 16-yr old who was one of his students or something? he sucks but hes a lot more passive in his negligence towards his student body), it was a waste of draco's potential use on account of he was clearly not only more competent than voldemort expected but also? he had been raised from birth to think voldemort was the best and his rule would be the best and being a death eater would be the best. and voldemort not only threw away a would-be useful death eater to die but also basically disillusioned draco of all his ideas about what life w voldemort around was like. and then theres the fact that, since voldemort knew lucius and narcissa cared enough about draco to suffer at his death, why wouldn't he have instead essentially used draco as a hostage to have their motivation be centered around that rather than gaining or maintaining status. its not like there were that many powerful death eaters at his disposal. i mean, narcissa is probably on the level of the best of them yet her abilities are really never called upon. like, she was ready to kill or die for draco, when she gave draco her wand it meant both she and lucius didnt have a wand at that point but she wasnt fucking around. and voldemort considered draco throwaway anyways and thought the best card he could play was to kill him? when he was that valuable to such powerful people? okay pal, sure. i mean probably he really didnt realize the extent to which the malfoys (particularly narcissa lbr, the saving grace of moms theme) actually cared about draco as their kid and not just like family honor shit or whatever, since thats a theme with him and then of course, besides voldemorts wasted opportunities there, draco's whole suicide-mission-that-actually-worked-out came into play when the trio gets caught by death eaters in dh and brought to his house and draco doesn't narc harry over to voldemort. on account of its fairly established to him by that point that he's not about killing anyone, even if it would moreso redeem his family to turn him in or be kind of anti-voldemort not to. this is useful when a) it means voldemort doesnt show up and murder harry a few times and b) it means harry's also alive to bust out and get some wands from draco. which he would also need for the elder wand business and which he would recognize as a crucial advantage because he'd witnessed draco disarm dumbledore because voldemort was a dumbass and gave him that mission and he could do it via the room of requirement which he found because of antagonizing harry during year 5 because of the longstanding feud he and harry had maintained ever since the hogwarts express ride before year 1 when their interaction stemmed from draco's dad being a major death eater player and then anyways despite kind of getting in harrys way again in the room of requirement which is a whole bit that feels almost nostalgic in that situation, with the battle being elsewhere and the broomsticks and everyone just taking a moment in the hall afterwards to be like jesus christ i need a gatorade. but it was useful in harry saving draco from dying then, which was funny with ron's line about if we die for them i'll kill you, but yknow harrys spontaneous heroics and neither him nor malfoy being interested in the other actually dying or anything. and then them saving malfoy again from some random death eater, which was an even more optional life saving maneuver. technically harry couldve lied i guess, but it was relevant when his life depended on telling narcissa that draco was alive in hogwarts as far as he knew. i dont think he realized why she was asking and what the effects of his answer would be until after he'd actually done so, so i guess its not as though he had the chance to weigh the option of lying anyways. plus, all that spontaneous heroics stuff and harry not being a particularly good liar and the thing that i cant remember if its canon or inferred theory that narcissa is a really good occlumens/legilimens, whereas harry is bullshit at that. but anyways, what was really important there was The Theme, aka that moms keep saving the world via the sake of their kids. and for that to happen in a literary sense draco had to be alive, even though maybe the intent wouldve counted, who knows, whatever anyways and then of course its relevant again when harry doesnt kill voldemort with his own twin wand even though that would be the dramatic and strategic thing to do, but with a wand he happened to snatch on improv of some rando bullshit student in his year who voldemort tried to have killed off because he's a wipe and terrible at everything, which is also how the horcruxes thing played out. and he keeps underestimating everyones mom. and thats how draco despite seeming largely useless for most of the series winds up being so useful he's mentioned in the final confrontation with voldemort right up to the point of harry actually killing voldemort. and its all because of death eaterdom doing itself in and voldemort doing himself in too and because draco and harry happened to have a mutual stubborn pettiness going on, but not so much so that they were going to let the other get killed. what with them being 17 and everyone having some god damn sense, particularly malfoy with his sense-gaining experience of the year prior and the whole not being twelve factor tldr the themes are: harrys spontaneous heroics, voldemorts self-destructive lack of comprehension of Love, your mom, and being a petty shithead and having a few ridiculous happenstantial encounters are whats important
#long post ////#harry potter ⚡️#dunno why lucius's highrankingness made this all seem more relevant but it did#i guess its because voldemort really blew it even more than if it was just some middling death eater rando
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Forbidden Fruit: Part 15
Pairing- Yoongi x reader (ft all of BTS and some of Got7)
Type- Mystery, supernatural and angst here and there and i guess some fluff
Warnings- Swearing n’ stuff + violence and blood
Word count- 2,260 ahahahah I’m so nice to you guys.
A/N- I think i’ve got hay fever or something because my eyes have been bloodshot for like 3 days now. Whilst writing this i kept squinting because my vision kept going blurry and i was basically writing blind most of the time, even right now I can barely see lmao. I wouldve finished this earlier but I’ve been a lil busy redoing my room n stuff, how fun.
| Part 14 | Part 15 | Masterlist |
Yoongi guided you through the front door and swiftly down multiple flights of stairs, not worrying if you were struggling to keep up or not. You were both finally on what seemed to be the last floor that also happened to be a garage parking lot. There were very few cars, you recognised one of them as being the car they brought you here with, but then you looked at the cars around it that also looked identical. You scrunched your brows and looked over at Yoongi questioningly.
“Are all those cars yours?” you pointed up and down the row of neatly parked identical vehicles. He glanced at you and confirmed with a hum, acting as if it was no big deal.
“If they all look the same they’re less recognisable, so if we ever had to be stealthy or we were being followed, we could just send multiple out to confuse anyone tailing us.” He moved his hands into his pockets as you both approached the exit and began walking down a street.
“Try to walk like a guy; people will start asking questions if someone saw a woman leave our building. We don’t wanna draw attention to your presence…” he spoke without looking at you as he kept his pace casual.
“How does one walk like a guy?”
“I don’t know? Imagine you have two balls between your legs or something?” he replied in a frustrated tone.
You looked down at your legs as you walked and then spread them further apart a little. Imagine two balls? Confusion painted your face as you began to stiffen your arms and turn your elbows out a little. You added a little bounce to your step and made your walk look heavier. “Like this?”
He looked over his shoulder towards you and he quickly began to scowl. “What the fuck are you doing? I said we don’t wanna draw attention. Right now you look like someone who just shit their pants and has a slight limp along with some muscle problems in their arms.” You quickly dropped back into your normal walk and frowned.
“I feel like your description was unnecessary.” You mumbled as you felt a little hurt.
“Just try not to stand out at least.”
After a few turns around some corners you soon found yourself walking up to a small warehouse hidden behind a rundown building. It looked old and forgotten with its shattered grey windows that had no chance of letting light in. “Stay right here. I’m gonna quickly go in a pick something up.” He ventured inside the building before you could reply. You stood patiently as you bobbed from side to side as you curiously gazed around your surroundings. It was deathly quiet. Boredom began knocking at your door as you started making popping noises with your mouth to fill a little bit of the silence surrounding you. He didn’t lie; he was actually pretty quick as he left the building with a small brown packaged box in his hand. He nodded his head to the side, indicating for you to follow him.
“Whats in the box?” you piqued.
“Stuff.” it seemed that was as much you would get out of him.
A ten minute walk later and you were both walking into a clothes shop. It was plain and well organised and you wondered to yourself how hard it must’ve been to keep it that way seeing how huge the place was.
“Get anything you need, you’ll be staying with us for a while so keep that in mind. And don’t worry about the price, I’ll pay for it.” He said as he dropped down onto a cushioned seat with a huff while crossing his arms and closing his eyes, seemingly preparing for a nap. “Just come get me when you’re done.” He trailed off. You wanted to object about him paying, however at this moment he didn’t look like someone you wanted to question or bother. Awkwardly you made your way further into the shop. You picked up a few shirts varying in styles, some joggers that fit, jeans, jumpers, socks, underwear and bras along with some other essential items. You made sure you had a minimum of two of each thing so you always had something to wear. The shoe area was next on your expedition and you left it with a pair of trainers and slippers. You looked over your filled baskets one last time before confirming that was all you needed. Timidly you walked back towards Yoongi’s sleeping form. You held multiple baskets in your arms, so you used your foot to nudge his leg to get his attention. It seemed to do the trick as he opened his eyes with a sleepy glare aimed at you. He took out his phone and looked at the time. “Oh, you were quicker than I thought you’d be.” He stated groggily.
He helped you carry half of your haul after paying as you walked back to your new temporary home. Once you both got inside, you put your bags in his room and quickly got changed into one of your new outfits, a pair of jeans and a plain sweater. It seemed that no one else was home yet, so you and Yoongi both exchanged looks, knowing he still had something to do.
“Seems you still have to come along with me.” He sighed, visibly frustrated by the inconvenience as he clenched the parcel in his hand.
“I really don’t mind staying by myself, I’ll be fine.” You insisted.
“I’ve already told you why that’s not possible.” He groaned and grabbed you by your arm whilst he pulled you back out and down the stairwell. This time as you left the building he guided you the other way. You felt sorry for him having to drag you along, especially since he didn’t seem like the social type, and definitely not with strangers. You noticed how he still had his hand wrapped around your arm even though by now you were matching his stride and there was no need for him to pull you along.
The area that came up began to look oddly familiar. Soon you began to realise where you were when you found yourself on the fifth floor of an apartment building, and in front of a single ghostly white door alongside rows of plain wood doors. Who would’ve thought that you’d end up back here?
Yoongi raised his fist and harshly knocked three times. His eyes were locked on the handle with displeasure as we waited for it to open. It slowly creaked open and revealed the inside of the room. Just like last time, it was still cluttered, but somehow it seemed to have gotten worse. As you walked into the room with the scent of rosemary smacking you in the face, the sound of someone rummaging made you turn your head. There crouched on the floor was the same woman you had met days back. She was digging through a pile of books and jars, although she soon stopped to stand and greet her guests.
“Ah well aren’t you two the pair.” She smiled humorously. “Looks like you were both fated to be.” She hummed dreamily.
“I’ve got you the goods.” Yoongi spoke up; brushing off the peculiar statement she greeted you with.
“Oh thanks.” She curled her finger at the box and it went flying out of his grasp and straight onto her palm. It opened itself up expertly and revealed its contents. Inside laid a fine silk pouch. She took it out and carelessly let the empty box drop onto the already cluttered floor. She then open it up carefully and put her hand inside, daintily pulling out a sample of a fine golden powder that ever so slightly puffed up into the air like mist. She smiled gratefully “I can always rely on you to get me the good stuff. I’ll send you the payment through the system tonight.”
“Then we’ll be going now.” He began to pull you towards the door, but he paused just before leaving “By the way, I’m still mad about you being a pain in the ass last time!” she only smiled back in response and waved you both farewell whilst giving you one last glance.
The sun was already beginning to set as you both walked back. The streets were unusually quiet and lacking any life. You became uneasy as Yoongi walked in front of you, but almost as if instinctively he pulled you closer to his side as he moved his hand to grab hold of yours reassuringly. A shadow in the corner of your eye caught you attention and made you alert. You looked at Yoongi and began to whisper “I’ve got a bad feeling, we should hurry up.” you clenched his hand tighter. He seemed at ease on the outside, but his body was tense and his palms were sweaty, he was just as unsettled as you were.
Before you knew it, someone had jumped out from the shadows of an alley way and stood meters in front of you. Yoongi didn’t stop, but he instead pulled you in the other direction. However, another figure stood in your way and soon enough you were surrounded by five of them. He held you protectively as you both assessed the situation. It seemed they were armed with knives and other various weapons. Yoongi’s expression remained stoic as your opponents circled you.
“Be ready to run” he calmly spoke to you, not taking his eyes off the people in front. “These are Hunters and they won’t hesitate to hurt you.” you subtly nodded your head, too afraid to speak. He tugged your hand lightly in the direction he wanted you to start running. In a split second he was pulling you after him as he rammed into one of the Hunters to create a gap, multiple grunts escaped both Yoongi and the Hunter as you continued to speed past them whilst pulling Yoongi straight after you, unwilling to leave him behind. You desperately pulled him along as he kept a step behind you. The Hunters were close behind and slowly catching up. You turned round numerous corners and sped down multiple streets. The adrenaline in your body kept building up and pushing you forward as you could hear imminent death running behind you. You could feel Yoongi struggling to keep up, but you didn’t have the chance to worry. Another corner came up and you didn’t hesitate to turn. As soon as you made the turn another one came up and instinctively you took it before your chasers caught up and saw. A single dumpster caught your eyes and willingly you ran up to hide behind it.
You crouched down and desperately tried to catch your breath all while somehow staying quiet. Yoongi slumped down onto the ground; he looked weak and exhausted as you looked him over. His face contorted with pain as he brought his hand to his side. Blood. The all too familiar crimson liquid you wished you never had to see again soaked his shirt and continued to spread further. He was losing so much. “Oh my God! Why didn’t you say anything!” you quickly jumped forward to press your hands on the fresh wound and he winced in return.
“Well I don’t know if you noticed, but we were busy running.” He retorted.
“We have to get help. You’re gonna pass out if we don’t get you treated!” you panicked. Who would you even call? The group or an ambulance? He swore out loud as he began to cough. “What if they got your vitals? You could die!”
He looked up to distract himself as blood began to drip onto the ground. “My phones in my left pocket, call Jhope, he’s closest.” He gritted his teeth. You didn’t hesitate as you moved his hands onto the wound to replace yours and you quickly shoved your shaky hand into his pocket to pull his phone out. You looked through his contacts and pressed the call button for Jhope. Silently you waited for him to pick up while you bit your lip uneasily.
“Hello? Yoongi what’s up-”
“He’s bleeding really badly, we need help!”
“Oh god, where are you guys? I’ll be there as soon as possible.” He didn’t bother asking for other details.
“We’re 4 blocks down from June’s place in some alley close to a road. I think we’re next to one of the tallest buildings in the area.” Yoongi rasped out.
“Did you catch that?” you asked.
“Yeah I’ve got it. If he hasn’t already… tell him to take his ring off and don’t let him object. I’ll see you soon.” He ended the call and you slowly looked up at Yoongi.
“What did he say?” he groaned.
“He’ll be right there and that you need to take your ring off…” you placed his phone on the ground beside him. He looked at you worriedly, clearly not wanting to do so.
“Yoongi. Take your ring off.” You sternly repeated. For some reason you felt anxious as you waited for him to comply.
Reluctantly you reached forward and grabbed hold of the ring, he didn’t object but he didn’t dare look you in the eyes either. You proceeded to slide the ring down his finger until it finally came off. You held you breathe as you finally looked up at him. His eyes locked on yours as your mind filled with questions.
“Stop staring.”
A/N- why am I sweating so much rn, I think Im dying or something lmao.
*me while trying to proof read this blind*
#yoongi#suga#taehyung#jungkook#rapmonster#namjoon#v#jhope#hoseok#jin#jimin#bts#kpop#bangtan#bts x reader#yoongi x reader#suga x reader#bts au#yoongi au#suga au#kpop x reader#kpop au#yoongi scenario#yoongi imagine#suga imagine#suga scenario#bts imagine#bts scenario#got7#fanfic
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2 days off in a row.
this is my first day off without Lance here. I’ve been with Lance since 2017. we havent had the easiest of relationships. a lot of drunken fights. break ups and make ups. everything got ok when he got since and we both stopped drinking. just a warning for those who drink. please be aware of the damage it can do to your liver and your life. Lance is so sick that he cant even get out of bed. Which is why he finally wanted to go to the hospital. dont get me wrong. he’s been in and out of the hospital since he got sick. but they really couldnt do anything to help. we were waiting for his appt in phx. but since this virus hit, it was canceled and we were told to wait til september. which i didnt want. cause he was getting worse everyday. so on tuesday i finally took him to the clinic and they took him to the local hospital where has been staying. due to the virus i am unable to see him. and that sucks. but he has his phone, switch and his tablet to keep him occupied. thankfully he can keep in touch with me via texts. he seems to be doing better there. which is nice because I wanted him to be watched and taken care of by people who know what their doing.
i love Lance. and i wouldnt abandon him. even though there has been many fights about it. he wanted to break up with me so I wouldnt have to deal with him. but i told him to stop. i will not leave him during this time. i know we’ll get through this. but emotionally i have left. i sought out Shea. lance isnt the emotional type. we never really talk about our feelings. which is why i was overjoyed when Shea actually listened to me when I spoke to him. and it was easy to talk to him and not have him pass any judgement. im stuck in the middle right now. it feels like anyways. but if i take a step back its a no brainer that i should be with lance. shea flat out said nothing will come of us. but theres a part of me the believes the opposite. it sucks not working. cause i just sit and all these damn thoughts go through my head and my heart and i get overwhelmed fast. and i have no one to talk to about this. i promised shea i would tell anyone. so i wont. its friday. which means sheas off for the weekend. so im hoping he will sneak away and talk to me. i understand he cant always say anything to me. but then again you can make time for someone. send a quick text saying maybe “i miss you” or “im thinking about you” it doesnt take much to make me happy. his wife isnt at work with him. so i dont understand why he cant send me a message while hes there. i legit took 2 different naps today. its that boring. theres nothing to watch. at least for me to stay interested in. usually i talk to lance or im making him something to eat or to drink. now that i dont have that, i feel bored. theres nothing for me to do. im usually getting my clothes ready for work, but this week surprisingly i have 2 days off in a row. which i was hoping that shea would take advantage of. but he did it the other night which i wasnt ready for. i guess it just sucks when you want that to be a daily thing, but gotta wait for when hes ready. i hate waiting. i really do. im very impatient. OMG i am so tempted to go to circle k to buy something to drink. like maybe 3 shooters. i wanna get a little tipsy. but do i really wanna ruin my sobriety because im bored?? what else is there for me to do?? nothing. i have no friends and even if i did. we couldnt do anything cause everyones social distancing. tbh i was surprised that shea wanted to see me. i would be afraid to see anyone other than the 2 people i live with. i take this virus seriously. when shea told me he was in trouble yesterday. i wonder in what way. did his wife know he was with me? does she worry if anything will start up again between us? could she smell that he had had sex in the car? or on him? could she smell me on his shirt? i have no idea. i have her blocked on my facebook and instagram. and that was before i even started talking with shea again. i have a lot of stalkers on the interwebs and its just better off if i block them off the bat. i have nothing else to really type out and get out there. i cant stop thinking about shea and wondering if he’ll text me. thats what broke me the last time this happened. he basically ghosted me and thats when I got mad and told his wife. i dont wanna do that. i wanna keep this going. for as long as i can. some people look at shea and she a dork. hes almost a redhead. with glasses. freckles. he has a dad bod. a little belly but i like it. he has tattoos. an amazing smile. his voice is probably the favorite thing about him that I love. im getting wet just picturing him in my head. i think its funny when we make out, our glasses hit together and they get smudged up as well, lol. when I sat in his ride. i was shy. he told me to stop it. and said “are you gonna hold my hand or what?” i took his hand. and as soon as i felt his warm strong fingers curl up and close around my hand. i felt so safe. i missed his touch so much. in that moment i felt like a year didnt even pass. the only thing i didnt want to hear was him ask me why i did what i did. i told him i didnt know. and that i was sorry. he wasnt upset with me anymore and he made that clear. he told me he wanted to keep this going with me. he said if i didnt say anything. we couldve still been together. and a year wouldnt have had to pass to do this again. but all that didnt matter anymore. we were there in that moment. and he said to make the most of it. i fucked everything up. so i cant be mad about it. i want a whole day with him. i wanna cuddle and feel safe again. Shea, if you ever by change find this blog. dont be mad. i just needed a place to get my thoughts out. Im madly in love with you. you have no idea. it sucks that life brought you to me so late. so so so late. sometimes i wonder what wouldve happened if i met you first or sooner. anyways. i think its time for me log off. already got myself emotional and dont wanna feel sorry for myself. see ya tomorrow blog. pretty sure nothings going to happen tonight.
laters.
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August 3rd, 2017 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on August 3rd, 2017, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on The Cat, the Vine and the Victory by wnqs.
Featured Comment:
Chat:
RebelVampire
Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning. Today we are discussing The Cat, the Vine and the Victory by wnqs~! (https://tapas.io/series/The-Cat-The-Vine-and-The-Victory) For those new to CTP, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer so pay them no mind if you wish~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! Each chat a top comment will be picked and featured on an ad for this chat, so let’s have a great discussion~! With that said, let us begin with this first question~!
QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?
wnqs
Woot!
RebelVampire
lets see lets see thinks cause im never prepared for this question
wnqs
Do I answer it, too? :P
RebelVampire
youre welcome to if you want ;3; i wont stop you. and i know there are people here who enjoy getting the creators perspective too
wnqs
heh...I gotta think about this one, too :-=
RebelVampire
well of more recent scenes i really enjoyed the cat and sugar comforting vine and telling him nah bro, you are a guardian its okay bud. i thought that was really sweet and it was really nice to see vine legitimately upset by something like that.
mathtans
I'm here! Shipping Mysa and Tarow so haaaaaaaaaard.
RebelVampire
yes ;3; i loved Tarow dramatically switching to being like "omg she is my princess" the expressions are priceless ;3;
mathtans
Got through five chapters. I think my fave scene is still when Enne first hears who Victory is from the announcement, and he gets that LOOK, and then you're all OMG what's he gonna do and it's not what I thought.
wnqs
The Mysa/Tarow dynamic is a lot of fun to draw and explore ^_^
RebelVampire
yeah i liked enne's expressions when he first finds out the truth. they were kind of unsettling considering he was so nice
nice boy enne
wnqs
RebelVamp: Vine's probably one of the least developed characters from a reader's viewpoint up until these pages (which is on purpose).
mathtans
I'm so freaking impressed by the output by the way, like, so much comic and relatievely little time.
wnqs
mathtans: Enne had a lot of conflicting thoughts back then.
mathtans
I like how Vine's the Guardian, who in most cases is the old wise mentor type, but he's the comic relief. He's still "Vine The Loon" to me.
True, true. Enne's been through a lot. I wonder, with the chalkboard, was that always planned or just a decision that he needed more of a voice?
wnqs
mathtans: I draw so much because they keep doing stuff in my head and I have to put it on paper...Mysa is especially difficult to rein in....She just does her own thing...
Yeah, Vine's still comedy central for the most part :P
mathtans
That's awesome, that they're so alive in head. I can see that for Mysa. Gotta be careful she doesn't draw her own comic or something.
RebelVampire
if mysa drew her own comic itd probably just be about her and tarow having some princess knight fantasy
and vine will be toad telling tarow her princess is in another castle
wnqs
The chalkboard was planned to give him a voice, but he will never have 'thought' bubbles in the series. So if he can't write something down, he gestures.
ahahaha! Mysa would totally do that...
mathtans
Ooh, that's an interesting choice. I remember thinking about thought bubbles when I saw some for Victory in a scene with them. Yeah, the gesturing and actions with the stars works for me. He still feels dynamic. And tall.
wnqs
Enne is tall, but Tarow is taller than Enne by an inch or two.
mathtans
I liked when Enne was called the "walking undead" or whatever. Hee.
RebelVampire
yeah i really like the gestures cause i think it captures some of his personal struggles with communication even tho he has the chalkboard
mathtans
Actually, I liked all the nickanmes. I'm so bad with names.
wnqs
Ah, yes...Maltor being rude about him and everyone:-=
mathtans
Maltor, yes, that's the guy! ^^ (So bad with names!) Poor guy, he's been through a lot too. Though Mysa fired back.
Rebel: Good point about the communication struggles.
wnqs
Maltor is kind of an ass, don't feel too sorry for him :P
RebelVampire
i actually really like maltor tbh. like i appreciate his gritty realism compared to everyone else cause it brings a lot of balance to the group. since the others didnt even think about setting up a watch. so despite it all maltor is a good guy keeping everyone breathing.
wnqs
RebelVamp: I like him too, since he's based off my brother (shh)....
mathtans
I can't help it, like the bit where he's all 'these idiots have undone years of training', it's just, how the mighty have fallen. He's cool that he keeps going along with it.
Yeah, balance.
Every group needs a sort of jerk character. ^^
wnqs
Maltor knows quite a bit about what's going on because of his relationship with Mysa's dad.
So, he's just rolling with it right now.
mathtans
Cool, cool. (I think I'm not quite there yet, they just met the dad.) Looking forward to it.
RebelVampire
ah youre missing out on a lot still math. although i dont think youll be disappointed
mathtans
I'm a slooow reader. I can't binge, I need processing time between chapters. Are the other elements all revealed already, or is that speculation? (Like, infinity power? I wonder about that one.)
RebelVampire
noelle reveals what her element is and the earth guardian makes an appearance
wnqs
Not everything's revealed, so no worries!
mathtans
Coolness. (What about kitty? Kitty is suspicious. Is kitty fire?)
Pardon me if I speculate on stuff that's already well known.
wnqs
mathtans: Kitty is fire
RebelVampire
how dare you accuse kitty of being suspicious. kitty is precious, kitty is life.
wnqs
Kitty is uber suspicious
mathtans
Pffft. One can be precious and life and still suspicious.
Hee.
RebelVampire
well if the cat is like "lets go take over the world" im joining the cat. just so its out in the open.
mathtans
I'm only doing it if there's Mysa/Tarow ship involved. I know, I know, I'm so one note, but they're cute together, more than my usual yuri amusements.
wnqs
Cats just need thumbs. If they had thumbs, they'd be our overlords
mathtans
Speaking of evolution, basing a society on evolution from dragons, damn, that's so unique.
Is Mysa a Japanese Ryuu?
RebelVampire
i really like the individual details to their horns and tails. like if you look at the tails they have have unique sort of shapes at the end and idk, it just gives them all this unique characteristic.
wnqs
I love dragons and I was always disappointed as a kid when something had "dragon" in the title, but had nothing to do with dragons
RebelVampire
ah man i know those feels. or the other feels when something has the dragons it promised but they appear for 5 seconds and then its like "whoops they are late for the dentist"
QUESTION 2. For some reason, Victory is able to use the power of the guardians to cause both miracles and great destruction. Why do you think she’s able to do this? Is she some chosen one or was it happenstance? Relatedly, what do you think happened in Narrot all those years ago that caused Victory to destroy it?
wnqs
Mysa does have similar characteristics to a Ryuu, but for the most part, the evolution part of their species is similar to ours with apes.
mathtans
So interesting.
I'm having to think about that question. Every time I come up with a theory, I'm like, wait, there's a contradiction.
wnqs
I always thought of Mysa's horns being kinda like a reindeer's since her dad has stag horns
mathtans
Like, if she was related to the dragon, why would it kill her? Hmmmm.
wnqs
mathtans: ....
mathtans
Mysa's a Rein-Dear!
wnqs
ahahaha!
mathtans
I mean the big dragon, not just any dragon, waaaagh, I'm so bad with names.
wnqs
I know you meant the main dragon ^_~
I cannot comment on your theory because spoilers :-=
RebelVampire
of course. you get to listen to me and math speculate and you can mislead if youd like
wnqs
I could, but that seems mean :P
mathtans
Okay, uhm, uhm... Victory is, ahhh, she's the daughter of two Guardians, how 'bout that.
Eh, I'm fine with "no comment" as an answer.
RebelVampire
for me where i get torn on theories is whether its a chosen one thing or happenstance. albeit with the latter i like picturing the cat showing up, dropping the talisman and then victory absorbing it. and then the cat is like "well crap this is my life now."
wnqs
mathtans: no, she isn't the daughter of two Guardians, although that's a cool idea!
mathtans
As to what happened in Narrot, I think she somehow absorbed the fire talisman. Like, saw it on the ground or something. That's why she can belch fire, and why the kitty's stayed with her all this time.
Rebel, so yeah, pretty much on the same wavelength as me.
wnqs
RebelVamp and mathtans: both theories about the first talisman are pretty close
mathtans
You've gotta be careful denying ideas or when we get to one you don't deny I'll think I'm right.
OOH! What if Victory herself is a talisman? Like, that somehow gained sentience, and can absorb the others?
RebelVampire
yeah i think at the end she wouldve had to absorb the fire talisman or something related to it. its just a question if thats what caused the explosion or w/e happened. or if the explosion was a later cause someone freaked victory out. since her fire is triggered by her fear usually.
wnqs
No, Victory isn't a talisman, but it's another fun theory! :D
mathtans
I feel like Victory wasn't solely responsible. Either she was surprised, or attacked or something.
wnqs
Narrot's going to be explained in the next chapter (9), but they need to do some shopping, first, and learn more about the Guardians
mathtans
Actually, the people who end up working for Dragon, from Enne to the others, they all had tradgedy befall them... I think someone maniuplated them to end up working for Dragon. Someone set Victory up the bomb.
Mysa shopping, oh dear.
wnqs
Sir, we get signal
mathtans
That reminds me, the pillowcase aside thing was funny. ^^ There's a reason I never have my characters change clothes.
wnqs
Now I have that song stuck in my head...
RebelVampire
math did it. evil plans completed.
mathtans
Also, seems like a few pages have been randomly coloured? Was there a pattern for it, or just a had the time thing?
wnqs
I've gotten a bit better at drawing clothes :-=
mathtans
Oops, sorry.
Like anything I imagine it comes with time.
RebelVampire
i like you say better but ive always liked their outfit designs. like theyre that right mix of details but not overly complicated
wnqs
Going back to the talismans, there's always been a reaction when Victory touches them, but the water and earth ones aren't destructive powers, so nothing happened
That's because I have trouble drawing clothes with too much detail ^_^'
mathtans
Yeah, no, it works though, I don't tend to notice tons of detail.
Ahh, play with fire, you get burned. Or get everyone else burned.
wnqs
mathtans: randomly coloured pages are due to time restraints. It takes me a long time to colour pages and I've been going back and colourizing some B/W ones
RebelVampire
ooooh. i like color. albeit B/W is goo too and i really like your B/W
mathtans
I hear that. I'm still impressed at how fast you get content out.
wnqs
I pictured the disaster in Narrot similar to Pompeii
mathtans
Yeah, the being inside a forge thing made sense as the only way to make it. (Which makes kitty more suspicious!)
wnqs
I like colouring because I know what they look like in my mind, but that's hard for readers when everything's in black and white
mathtans
I'm usually fine with artists who just do some colour on cover pages, but I've seen it elsewhere too. It's nice, but not necessary by any means.
wnqs
I had a fun discussion with my farrier about if a child could fit into a forge and how well it would protect them
RebelVampire
ooh thats some detailed research then
mathtans
It didn't feel... forged.
wnqs
:P
RebelVampire
hmm well considering the guardians seem to be hiding their talismans maybe the cat was like "ill hide it in this child (ie victory) fool proof plan who would look in a child."
mathtans
"I shall put it in her sandwich."
wnqs
LOL :P
I don't think the cat ever thought about hiding it. He's not afraid of anything.
mathtans
Okay! So, Victory was born under a full moon during the harvest month when the talismen were in alignment in a star pattern around her. Something like that.
wnqs
I love these theories! :D
The cat is rather complacent, though...
mathtans
I'm glad, since I enjoy theorizing. ^^
RebelVampire
XD i should not have rewatched girlchan in paradise the other day cause now i can hear anime like voices explaining that XD
wnqs
:P I love it when animes do that, like how Gunbuster had the chibi forms of the main characters explaining the science behind each episode
mathtans
Speaking of chibis, Tarow seems to have this cute form she morphs into sometimes. Too adorbs.
OH, the Sakura gag in the Q&A was hilarious.
New theory! Victory is actually the essence of the Dragon God. The actual Dragon totes forgot he expunged all his goodness, and left it in a vial somewhere, and it became Victory. So named because she can defeat her evil half, once she levels up.
RebelVampire
i liked the Q&A question about the transformers because of the picture of vine riding on grimlock
wnqs
The questions for the Q&A were a blast to answer :D The Transformers one hit a soft spot in my heart since I grew up watching it ^_^
mathtans: another well thought out idea! Now I'm thinking a Scott Pilgrim kinda Nega-Victory situtation :P
RebelVampire
QUESTION 3. Something happened in the past that caused the guardians to abandon the Seven-faced god. What do you think happened between everyone back then? Speaking of which, what exactly is Noelle’s goal? Does this have anything to do with the reason everyone abandoned the Seven-faced god?
mathtans
Oooh, I wanna see Tarow defeat Mysa's evil ex-es.
It was probably a family reunion back then. Those never go well.
wnqs
I believe she'd obliterate them :-=
RebelVampire
Tarow could probably defeat the evil ex-es in a day. Unless one of them was Tagh which would be really funny.
mathtans
Hee!
wnqs
How many loonies and twonies would Tagh be worth, I wonder..
mathtans
Noelle's goal just seems to be as mean as possible towards Malt-man. Not sure what the goal was before him... doesn't seem to have abandoned like the others though.
thinks Maybe he wouldn't let them play with their talismans any more.
So they took their toys and went home.
RebelVampire
"Malt-man" OMG
mathtans
Or maybe there was a prophecy... there's often a prophecy...
I am so bad with names.
RebelVampire
no i like it
i accept this name
noelle's goals at the very least i dont think line up with tagh's. since noelle is trying to just get out from tagh's oversight
mathtans
He did have nicknames for the others.
I don't think they line up, but they're not at cross purposes, or at least not yet.
RebelVampire
im going to go with the occam's razor theory that tagh was good, then went power hungry and was like "rawr i am powerful cool dragon." and then most everyone was like "welp see you"
wnqs
Noelle and Malt-man HATE each other :P
More on their relationship is also to come
mathtans
Oh no, I got you doing it.
wnqs
I like Malt-man, it works better than Malt-chan :-=
RebelVampire
but part of me wonders if noelle had something to do with everything. maybe noelle was like "man you know whatd be great? more power. lets corrupt the seven-faced god. thats fun."
well
i now have imagery in my head of maltor in a girl's school uni cause of malt-chan(edited)
cannot unsee that
mathtans
thinks Maybe it was just having all the talismans together in one place for too long was a corrupting influence. Which may bode badly for Victory.
wnqs
RebelVamp: ooooh....some of that's pretty darn close...not power hungry, though,
mathtans
Tarow lends Malt-man her clothes. ^.^
"Disguise!"
wnqs
Noelle is playing a long-term game. She did something to cause all of this, yes.
mathtans
Noelle is Victory's mom!
wnqs
NO! :P
mathtans
....dad?
wnqs
no ^_^'
mathtans
Second cousin once removed?
RebelVampire
long lost cousin twice removed?
wnqs
:P Pet dog in a past life?
mathtans
I'm glad you went with a cat over a dog, I prefer the kittehs.
Actually, is the name Noelle significant? Or Vine?
wnqs
I think only a cat can really embody the kind of aloofness needed for this story
mathtans
Truth.
wnqs
Noelle because she's white....are you disappointed? :--
Vine Garoon means "whip scorpion"
mathtans
Nope! Tough to disappoint me.
Oh wow, that's such a cool name, in what language?
(I still can't unsee 'Vine The Loon' from Mysa though.)
wnqs
http://www.torontozoo.com/ExploretheZoo/AnimalDetails.asp?pg=452
mathtans
That's legitimately terrifying.
RebelVampire
im glad that vine is more adorable, less scorpion shivers and looks around paranoidly for scorpions on the wall
mathtans
Nodnodnodnodnodnodnodnod.
Also, wow, are you from Toronto?
wnqs
Ahem...at the age of 15 I literally flipped through the dictionary and I stopped on the page that said "Vinegaroon"...and I saw the comedic possibilities for that name
No, Alberta :P, but in BC right now
mathtans
You were writing from a young age, nice.
Okay. Just curious since I grew up in that area. (Elsewhere in Ontario now.)
wnqs
I was born in Ottawa and we moved out west
mathtans
Pfffft, and guess where I am now. Anyhue.
wnqs
Are you in....Florida? :-=
oh, wait, you said Ontario
mathtans
I like to think I'm not a scary person.
Not that eveyrone in Florida is scary, but I hear stories.
wnqs
Florida is scary
RebelVampire
everyone knows the tales of florida man
wnqs
and hot. I would melt.
mathtans
Oh, setting! Setting of the comic. It's sort of medieval.
With the knights and swords and all. Do they have legends like us, of Robin Hood and the like?
wnqs
Yes, pre-industrialized.
RebelVampire
well the seven-faced god stuff in itself is kind of a legend. since i mean theres even text mistranslations. its just a true legend sort of
mathtans
Or the Romans? I dunno, I'm wondering about history now.
Rebel: Truth.
wnqs
The knight/princess stuff is more Tarow's fetish , but there is a hiearchy ^_^'
mathtans
Sudden distraction...
wnqs
The plot's been so complicated that I've only briefly touched on society
mathtans
Actually, Mysa was pretty cavalier about the whole thing. I guess yuri's not a weird element for them.
RebelVampire
hey to be fair, i think the knight/princess stuff is also kind of Mysa's fetish XD
wnqs
They'll have to go into town now, so more of how society actually functions will be explored
mathtans
And I don't think society necessarily needs to be touched on, I haven't noticed the absence or anything, just started musing here.
Oh, neat.
Shipping Mysa/Tarow soooooo haaaaaaaaard.
wnqs
Rebelvamp: heh, this is true! :D
mathtans
I mean, Victory/Enne is nice too.
RebelVampire
yeah i think the story is presented in a way im not dying for world knowledge which is a good thing. i mean id definitely like to know more about the world. im just not distracted by the fact theres lots of mysteries
wnqs
Relationships in this world are more open to being varied, and Mysa knows what she wants...
RebelVampire
i liked that one pose victory did that made enne flustered but idk if you got to that part math O_O
mathtans
whispers ...so hard...
wnqs
ahahahaha!
sexy dragon
mathtans
I don't know either? There was the bit where she thought Mysa was coming up and it was actually Enne, and he's coughing, that was nice.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 4. Enne, though fairly nice and pleasant, is plagued by the events of Narrot. Despite growing attached to Victory, Enne remains a bit torn on what occurred in the past. What do you think will ultimately happen in regards to Enne’s feelings? What will Enne’s role be later on in the story considering he’s been trained as a swordsmith?
wnqs
Super embarassing for them both at that moment...at least he can make some noises..
RebelVampire
ok no the moment of im thinking of is chapter 6
wnqs
Question 4 has some things answered when they get to town in Chap 9! :D
mathtans
ok, I'll see it after then.
RebelVampire
found it way faster than i thought i would
so many answers coming up
wnqs
Chapter 6 got way out of control for page numbers....^_^;
mathtans
(I only just started 6 earlier today)
RebelVampire
https://tapas.io/episode/494287
thats the page in specific its not really spoilery so its safe
wnqs
That's what I call her sexy-velociraptor pose
There's so much stuff coming up @_@
RebelVampire
thats exciting tho >v>
mathtans
Hahhahah, nice.
RebelVampire
my dream is enne forgets all about revenge and they all go live happily ever after. and enne makes the most badass sword in history
mathtans
Yeah, I see Enne having to make a decision about Victory versus maybe killing someone else and having to do the latter. It'll be tragic.
Also, there's that sword they got out of burned town, that's gotta factor in too, if it hasn't already.
wnqs
mathtans: yeah..the god-slayer sword...
mathtans
I wonder how Enne got hooked up with the Dragon crew anyway?
Right, that one. Which can only be wielded by gods and slayers.
wnqs
mathtans: boys gotta eat and earn a living, and his skills were very useful
mathtans
I was still thinking about Victory so my mind went to the wrong places on "his skills". >.<
wnqs
RebelVamp: or he just needs to fix a badass sword...
RebelVampire
yeah i wondered how he wound up with the dragon crew but at the end i assume its just he had nowhere else to go really. needed that roof over his head.
wnqs
mathtans: ahahahaha...he's good with his hands, I'm sure
mathtans
Yeah, does make sense.
RebelVampire
i hope we get to see the badass sword they already have again. cause they really went out of their way to get that thing.
mathtans
Was Enne's scar explained? Like, he didn't get that from the town burning, did he?
wnqs
Enne's scar is from when the town was destroyed. He was injured and couldn't speak afterwards
mathtans
Oh, okay, I was trying to remember if it might have been later. If he had a nemesis or something. rejects theory
RebelVampire
maybe enne does have a nemesis anyway
hunger is his nemesis
mathtans
As to using swords, we've seen a chimera, presumably there's other monsters out there for target practice.
wnqs
Enne's base story is fairly straight forward: Town was destroyed when he was 10, he was injured and can no longer talk, but has his mother's skills as a swordsmith and worked at the mountain after Yababa healed him to make a living. He was repairing swords and metal digging tools
mathtans
Bet Victory can't wait to see his... sword skills.
wnqs
PFFFT!!! RIGHT WHEN I TOOK A SWIG OF WATER!!!
wiping off laptop....again
RebelVampire
rip laptop
i wonder how much hes been able to interact with other ppl. or if ppl were like "hey boy i need this repaired and this" and then enne nodded and nobody spoke ever again
mathtans
Btw, was nice that Maltor didn't try to involve Yababa in things. Helped to show cleverness too.
wnqs
I think his conversations were limited to head nods/shakes.
mathtans
Possible raising of the middle finger?
wnqs
Maltor's got a lot of pride in his line of work, even if he's a merc, and won't involve innocents if possible.
RebelVampire
see good guy maltor
mathtans
There's a whole family pride and history thing there.
wnqs
I'm sure life on the road is so much better than life was at the mountain.
mathtans
What with not getting paid and all.
wnqs
Yet another thing that will be talked about, Maltor and Tarow's family. Guess which town they're from originally? I believe Tarow started to say it in chapter two before being hushed by Maltor
mathtans
The town of Florida?
wnqs
Maltor's not out of money. I won't say where he's been getting funds from if you haven't read past chapter 6
mathtans
Oooh, more to look forward to then, okay.
wnqs
:P yes. The hurricanes took their home away...and the gators ate their family
RebelVampire
thats explains everything
maltor is florida man
mathtans
Heh. Seriously though, it makes some sense that it would be the fire town, only question is why Tarow and Maltor weren't there at the time.
Malt-man.
wnqs
Tarow was there, Maltor was not. Maltor kinda didn't like Tarow back then...
mathtans
Younger siblings can be problematic. (I say as the oldest...)
RebelVampire
speaking of tarow and maltor, i laughed a lot at the fact that after tarow broke her tail, maltor was like "nah itll be fine ill just tie it to your ponytail."
mathtans
Yesssss! Very clever, yet also kinda silly and funny.
There's lots of little "oh, hey, so funny" moments.
wnqs
Solved the problem of it dragging on the ground, so yeah, totally fine!
I'm glad what I think is funny is actually funny ^_^'
RebelVampire
it actually made me want to research bones not healing right cause im really curious if the tail could heal properly if they rebroke it after so many years
not that i think thatd be a pleasant experience for tarow
mathtans
Funny to me anyway. ^^ I'm not too normal.
Hmmm, could they break the tail again, then have Victory heal it? Or would it just heal back to what it looked like last week?
wnqs
Oh...we can't answer that
mathtans
Oooooh.
wnqs
Since the tail is just an extension of the spine, rebreaking it might be dangerous.
mathtans
Mysa wouldn't mean it, it's just, hanging from the chandelier was a thing to experiment with.
wnqs
falling princesses?
RebelVampire
yeah thats a good point about it being an extension
maybe when victory lvls up with powers shell become a super master healer tho
mathtans
Ok, final theory. Victory was genetically engineered using magic, to take down the Dragon, but then her mother died in childbirth and no one knew what had been done.
RebelVampire
haha ppl may not even know tagh is still around being trapped in that mountain and all that
mathtans
Princesses just wanna have fun.
mathtans
Oh, that's a good point too.
wnqs
Ah....you are correct. No one actually knows the dragon's in the mountain.....yet...
RebelVampire
Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party is now complete~! Thank you everyone so much for joining this week’s chat~! That being said, if you would like to continue discussing the comic, we encourage you to do so~! We want to give a big thank you to wnqs, as well, for volunteering The Cat, the Vine, and the Victory for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support wnqs’ efforts. If you have questions, concerns, or suggestions about CTP, please feel free to PM me, or e-mail me at [email protected].
With that said, next week’s Comic Tea Party will focus on ABDUCTED by Mike Battle. Please use this week to read as much of the comic as you would like. Hope to see you next Thursday (August 10th) from 5PM to 7PM PDT~! Until then~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/abducted
#ctparchive#comic tea party#comicteaparty#ctp#comics#webcomics#indie comics#comic discussion#bookclub#comic club#the cat the vine and the victory#wnqs
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lol im gonna talk about how sucky my life used to be under the cut so pls dont read if you dont want to this is like a stream of consciousness thing because im feeling Depressed
this is honestly so extra but ive never really said all of this out loud or written it all down. I had a diary when i was 11 and i said some of this stuff but she found it and ruined me for it so i dont ever talk about it. i think i just realized why i dont talk about it by writing that out wow. but anyway,
my parents got divorced when i was six. i was sad at the time but honestly? i wasnt that upset in the grand scheme. i found out later it was bc my mom cheated on my dad with my current stepfather lol. but before they told us that was happening my mom just disappeared for three months and my dad was sad all the time. i remember that was the nicest my dad has ever been to me; he used to carry me down for breakfast every morning and id watch tv on this big round chair in our old house. when my mom came home i wrote about it in my little journal at school and i dont think my teacher thought anything of it.
my mom moved to an apartment and my dad kept the house. since we were so young we’d spend the first half of the week with one parent and the second half with the other. i think we switched to an every other week arrangement when my dad got remarried.
my parents never liked to tell me when they went on dates but i always knew. they were probably worried about upsetting me but i wouldnt have been. i understood that my parents were broken up and i didnt want to change it, because i knew it was a grown up thing. they would always try to explain to me in a non direct way what was going on and i always hated it. i was intuitive for my age and i never really liked the skirting around the issues. it seemed important to my parents that i knew i could ask questions and be upset but i genuinely didnt feel that way.
my dad dated a really nice woman with two little girls my brother’s age for a little while. i sometimes wonder what wouldve happened if he married her instead. i see her at church sometimes with her two girls. i don’t think she ever remarried.
my dad met my step mother after her. i really liked her. she had three daughters that were younger than me, an older daughter and an older son. they were all nice. i would go to their house whenever i would be staying with my dad and i would have sleepovers with her younger daughters. i always loved going to their house because they had so many things to play with and a big backyard. now that i think about it i think my dad asked to marry her after only like nine months. thats never really enough time to get to know a person. i was so happy though. i had been praying for a little sister for so long and then i was going to have three! my dad married her during the summer on a beach in florida. we all travelled there together and stayed in a nice beach condo. i was excited to be the flower girl in the wedding and to wear a pretty dress that matched all of my sisters.
things started going south that weekend. I went to the grocery store with my younger siblings and my stepmother on one of the first days, and i was messing around as kids tend to do. i wasnt doing anything wrong. it was 10 years ago, i’ll give, but i do remember feeling surprised because i had never heard my stepmother speak to me this way. she told me that if i didn’t shut up she would spank me, which shut me up quite quickly, but it felt weird.
this is the part of the story where i feel like people will stop listening and tell me im overreacting, but i know that was when i realized something wasnt right. it was the tone of voice that tipped me off, thats something i cant really convey. I rly hate how right now i feel like i have to defend that her telling me she would hit me is wrong. but it is. i’ll leave it at that. im not spoiled, i was hit plenty of times after this comment. none of it was right, but it happened. my point is hitting children is wrong, it was wrong when it happened to me and its wrong now.
but anyway, the wedding happened. things got progressively worse for me that whole weekend. i remember sitting on the stairs in the condo playing with my dollhouse absentmindedly because i had gotten yelled at earlier. after the weekend was over, my granparents picked me and my brother up so that they could go on their honeymoon. i remember laying on the bed one morning in our hotel room thinking that something wasnt right.
dammit i was just a kid i just keep thinking about that i was a kid i was little why didnt she like me
a lot of my childhood is a blur now because of her. there was a lot of yelling, some hitting, her generally just making me feel like shit. there were good moments too, and i tried so hard to like her and get along with her but i just couldnt. she terrified me. she would look at me in a way that made me forget how to speak, i was so scared of her.
she made me feel stupid, that was one thing she did a lot. me and my brother were really smart kids and that made her so mad. i never understood it then but i do now. she would look for ways to make us feel stupid so that she could have a moment of superiority. over an 8 year old of all people. thats what made her so vile.
i was a really emotional kid. i still am emotional, to be fair, but when you’re a kid, you never really know how to control that, you know? I was always made to believe i had done something wrong when my stepmom was around, and it showed. i clung to my dad a lot, and she hated that.
the moment that i flash back to the most, the one thing that i think makes me hate her so much, is the time when i was 8, probably less than a year after she and my dad got married, i was sitting with my dad on the couch watching tv, and something inside her snapped. idk what it was that tipped her off, but she started yelling at me, saying that i was avoiding her, and that i was being selfish and rude and awful. i was confused and upset and just plain scared mostly. i argued that i wasn’t trying to do anything to her, i was just watching tv with my dad. there was no way i could be avoiding her because that wasn’t even a thought that occurred to me. She wasn’t having it. I knew that this encounter wouldnt end without her hurting me. i dont remember how it got to this point, but she got so mad that she just stopped talking to me, went to the dining room and pulled out a chair. she dragged me off the couch and made me stand behind it. she told me that i had to stand behind this chair and think of why i was avoiding her and why i was being mean to her, and then when i had an answer i had to sit down and tell her. i stood behind that chair for hours while her and my dad fought out of earshot of me. i dont remember how long it was, but i remember it was long enough for the sun to set and for all my siblings to go to bed. i genuinely tried to think of things to say to her, but they weren’t real, and i didn’t want to lie. i couldn’t think of anything because i didn’t know what i had done wrong. after a few hours, i resolved that i could just stand behind that chair for the rest of my life, because i was in the church choir and i took dance class, and i was used to standing for long periods of time. she came back when she was done fighting and when she saw i wasn’t sitting down she snapped again. she hit me over and over and over and between each time she would ask me what my reason was for a avoiding her. if i didn’t say anything she would hit me. if i made something up she would hit me. this went on until she got tired out and left. i hung over the chair and cried. my dad came to get me and i told him i didn’t do anything. he said he knew, and that if i just apologized to her, she would leave me alone. i didn’t want to, but he said even if i didn’t believe it, it would make her stop. i told her i was sorry and that i wouldn’t do it again, whatever “it” was, and she said “whatever”. i went to bed after that and cried myself to sleep.
the next morning we went to church and afterword the same thing happened. she was mad that i was “avoiding” her in church. instead of hitting me that time, she pulled out a notebook and wrote down two questions: “why did i hesitate from holding [my stepmother]’s hand in church?” and “why did I ignore [my stepmother]?” (i cant quite remember the second one, but it was along those lines.). she told me that if i were “smart enough to be in gifted classes at school” that i was “smart enough to answer those questions in essays”. she left me alone and made my siblings go play outside. i sat there stumped for a while, she would come and check on me and make sure i wasnt falling asleep, and would tell me to start writing something. my dad came in later and just told me some crap to write so that i could be done and go play with my siblings. she was upset that he told me what to write, but let me go anyway. i went to see my siblings and they asked me what happened. i told them and they shrugged it off.
you know, people say that abuse makes your brain block out memories, and i used to think that my memory was pretty ironclad. now that im actually thinking about it, i can only remember a few isolated moments. all the rest of it is just a blur where i know that she was awful to me and i was miserable but i have no idea the specific circumstances.
im also thinking about how my dad didnt try to stop any of it. he would help me through it, and he would empathize with me, but he didn’t try to stop it. sometimes he would join in and that made it worse.
i’m gonna list the isolated incidents that i can remember just so that its written down.
I found out that santa and the easter bunny and their affiliates were not real the first christmas after my dad remarried. i told my little brother and sisters that i didn’t believe in it right after my revelation, because they were my best friends and i told them everything. my dad and stepmom found out and i got in so much trouble. but it didnt make sense to me because i didn’t know that what i did was wrong. didn’t stop them from hitting me.
i was playing with my little sister and slapped her on the back. i did it too hard and it hurt her. she was wearing a swimsuit top and he had sensitive skin so it left a handprint. i apologized, it was an accident (and just as a side note she hit me first and i was retaliating. not that it matters.). she told my dad and stepmom and they called me to the kitchen. said “you know what we have to do now” and hit my bare skin as a punishment.
took me to a rollercoaster park knowing that im scared of rollercoasters (about 9 or 10 in age at the time) got in trouble for being afraid of the rollercoasters. my dad pulled me to the side and told me that i was gonna get a beating when we got home. we went to the waterpark section of the theme park and they wouldnt let me go swimming because i wouldnt ride rollercoasters. i had to watch my siblings go swimming without taking my eyes off of them to underscore that the reason i wasnt swimming was because i was being selfish and spoiled because they paid money for me to come there and i was afraid of the rollercoasters
i’m just gonna stop for now bc this is a lot and im tired.
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im kind of bummed because I really wanted to see one of my best friends from high school but I dont see it happening because im leaving in two days and i have my sisters bridal shower. We were supposed to meet up earlier in the week and she sort of never got back to me/it never happened. And i mean we’re close, but its frustrating that we’ve grown apart from us both being busy and so far apart.
She’s gotten really close over the past couple years to two girls who used to be my best friends in middle school and part of high school. things ended badly between us, and its absolutely behind us but its still unpleasant to think about. it hurts losing my friend to people who treated me so badly. granted, i was upset and young and there was one or two things i shouldve handled better. but these girls made my life a living hell and out of nowhere completely blacklisted me.
i lost almost all of my friends my sophomore year of high school because of these two girls. From my understanding, the one got jealous that i was becoming so close to the other. the same thing happened with two other girls in our friend group before me. when it happened to me, they were basically like “yea, me too”. D and R have been friends since elementary school, so once someone got too close to D, R got jealous and they both turned on them. I found texts calling me a bitch, they made a video calling me a dyke, they excluded me from everything, pulled my friends away from me, and straight up ignored my existence at times, save for when they made fun of me. i used to sit with them at lunch and they would literally turn away from me and when i spoke, act like nothing happened. i got close to other girls, including my current friend J, because D and R treated me so awfully.
my sophomore year where they suddenly cut me off was one of the worst of my life. my grandpa died two days before christmas and my grandma had died the year before. i was dealing with severe depression that i had never experienced before and didnt know how to manage. i was suicidal and self harming. i was experiencing anxiety and panic attacks for the first time. my dads alcoholism was taking a massive toll on my family.
but no one, save for a few people, ever believed me because D and R were so well liked. i went for years with people thinking i was this bad person who ruined something when honestly, and its sort of pathetic to think of it now, i was desperate to win them back and hold onto our friendship. I wouldve done anything and i was essentially begging for an explanation or some kind of closure. D and i were so incredibly close. we wanted to play music together, go to college near each other. she was the closest friend ive ever had in my life. she was the first person i opened up to about my home life and my feelings of depression and anxiety.
i have been lucky enough to make great networks of friends in every place ive been. there are still people i talk to and see from high school. im still very close with people i met in ireland. i still have many friends from scranton. and ive made a lot of amazing friends in wilmington.
but looking back at the friendship i had with D and R, man. something about that still hurts a little part of my heart because they both meant so much to me. Ive seen R and shes acted pretty civil to me and ive hung out with D through J when ive been home a couple times and its been nice. but its very obvious that there is still a little bit of tension there, realizing that we used to be so incredibly close and it ended so badly, and for horrible reasons. i sometimes wonder if they ever regret what happened and how it happened. i remember torturing myself for years wondering, and wanting to just confront them and ask WHY once i graduated. but i never did.
so i cant help but get anxiety when i see how close theyve gotten. it makes me feel inadequate. it makes me feel the way i did in high school, where my character was questioned and i was outcasted by my friends.
ive had a hard time with anxiety regarding my friendships because im so far away. i love where i live and want to stay there, but im always scared of losing what i have up north because im not present.
i live 10 hours away in north carolina. theyre all up here. D, J, and R all just went to LA together and honestly i just feel like a bad person and friend. when im home, its not for long and i usually dont have a car. J is always going to be a close friend of mine, and we’ve talked about how we stay close even when we arent always in contact and its fine. its just that deep rooted anxiety and memories that are associated with situations like this and these people. i guess i go on the defense.
i havent ranted on tumblr in a while and i needed it. just some mindless rambling, just because things in my life have been so uncertain and catapulting between amazing and crap. im just trying to find some stable ground
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