#i always think about yoongi saying being a fan is living with love

[literalsunhobi]

hobi meeting j cole is always just in love noises

[redrose10]

This was a request for fake dating with Jungkook and prompt #40 I think I have always been in love with you for @yoongznme. I hope you like it!

< Lemonade >

Warnings: Hints of body insecurities

#40 “I think, I have always been in love with you.”

*******************************************************

“I’m sorry what?”, you asked them to repeat themselves for the third time still not believing what you were hearing. When your boss asked to have a word with you about a promotion you thought it would include a few extra responsibilities and hopefully a much needed raise because being a makeup artist for an award winning kpop group did not really pay as well as you’d think.

You never expected to be told that you would be pretending to be Jungkook’s girlfriend though. It was some crazy plan that the company’s PR team came up with after he had recently gotten some bad press over something dumb and out of his control but at the end of the day it was still bad press effecting numbers which effected profit.

They thought that it would be a good idea to make it look like he was a loving, sweet, devoted boyfriend who could do no wrong. Somehow or another your name got thrown in the mix because you yourself were nice, polite, and you had this kind of the good girl next door thing that they were looking for.

You were nervous to say the least. Jungkook was attractive, no one would deny that. He was also always very kind and thoughtful when you interacted and you definitely had a small crush on him but you were a professional and knew not to let your emotions get in the way of your work plus there’s no way a global superstar would ever actually want to date a struggling makeup artist.

However you agreed, though you had the suspicion you really didn’t have a choice anyways if you wanted to stay employed, and they told you to be back at the building tomorrow night at 8pm.

So you did just that. You were in the dress one of the stylist left for you and you’d done your makeup and hair. Jungkook was styled perfectly as usual and he smelled so warm and comforting as he gave you a hug, “You look really nice Y/N.”

“Thank you.”, you whispered hoping he couldn’t see you blush.

The plan was to drive over to a very well known hotspot for dinner. Idols frequented the place constantly so there was also a stream of paparazzi and fans trying to catch a glimpse.

When you arrived the amount of people shocked you. As soon as Jungkook appeared there were earth shattering screams and so many flashes of light you couldn’t see a foot in front of you.

“Y/N, just stay close behind me.”, he said taking your hand and helping you out of the car while making sure to block the view of the cameras so you could get out comfortably in your dress.

Once you were in view the screams got even louder although maybe angrier. The camera flashes definitely increased though giving you a headache. The bodyguards began to push through the crowd with Jungkook close behind, his hand tightly gripping yours as you tried to keep up.

Inside, the restaurant was significantly calmer which you appreciated. Jungkook sipped on his beer while you stuck to a lemonade.

“I’m sorry the company is making you go through this.”, he said finally after a bout of silence.

“It’s okay. They’re paying me quite a bit so it’s worth it.”, you chuckled not noticing the slight grimace on his face.

The rest of the dinner went smoothly. Jungkook was a great guest and you relaxed enjoyed hearing about his travels and all the funny stories he had, especially the one about Yoongi tripping and falling face first into a cake that Namjoon had decided to leave sitting on the living room floor for some strange reason. He showed you a picture of Yoongi’s face covered in frosting and you couldn’t wait to tease him about it when you saw him next.

After dinner the crowd outside had died down a little bit was still enough that you had to put on an act. Jungkook pulled you close against him as he took you outside and right into the waiting vehicle where he continued to hold you against him even as the car sped off. It sent a wave of emotions through you so you made sure to create a little bit of space between you both just to remind yourself that none of this was real.

It looked like the plan was working perfectly because the next morning there were several headlines questioning who was the cute woman Jungkook was photographed with last night. The fans were also loosing their minds over it, posting over and over about speculations and rumors. You did your best to try and avoid most of them because while a good chunk were generally in favor of the relationship there were still many, mostly fans, that were not happy about Jungkook possibly being in a relationship. This resulted in you seeing some hurtful words about yourself m before deciding to log out of all of your social medias.

The next several weeks were filled with much of the same. Various stages photo ops took place so that fans and photographers could catch moments between you both. When the rumors finally started to become out of hand the company released an official statement confirming the relationship between Jungkook and you, a sweet, down to earth makeup artist that he had fallen madly in love with. The media and fans lost their minds.

You went into this whole thing thinking it would be easy. You were getting a big payday to basically hangout with Jungkook and let your photo get taken. You didn’t expect for your crush to grow into being full on in love with him but it was hard not to fall. He was so incredibly thoughtful and sweet. He was always ordering you lunch or bringing you a coffee even when the cameras weren’t around. When your cat needed an unexpected emergency surgery he paid for it in full after overhearing you cry to one of your friends about how you couldn’t afford it. He was always telling you how pretty you looked or complimenting your clothes with a slight hint of a blush on his cheeks. When you were visiting a friend and missed the last bus and you called him as a last resort hoping he could ask the company to send a car he drove over an hour at 2am to personally pick you up himself while staying on the phone with you the whole time so that you wouldn’t be scared.

After a few months of this it was getting harder and harder to remind yourself this wasn’t real.

Up until this point things were going great. Your relationship was doing exactly what the PR team had hoped. People pretty much completely forgot about his previous scandal and were focused on how he was a sweet and generous boyfriend. His image had never been better.

Then there was an incident. Jungkook was very protective always keeping you close to him. Even when the bodyguards reminded him that they were there for your protection as well he still insisted on personally seeing to your safety.

So one morning you were set to board a flight to New York. Of course the entrance to the air port was packed full of paparazzi and fans all screaming and trying to get photos and videos of you two. The airport had put up barriers but with the amount of people all pushing and shoving some of the barriers got knocked down allowing the crowd to surge in.

Security did their best to surround you guys and get you through the crowd but they were greatly outnumbered.

Thanks to the loud noises and flashing lights and amount of people surrounding you it all became too much and you began to panic. You held onto Jungkook, squeezing his hand that was interlocked with yours to try and ground yourself and remind yourself that you were okay.

“It’s okay Y/N. I’ve got you. We’ll get through this.”, he said trying to comfort you.

The crowd surged forward again. Thanks to your blurry vision and panic you aren’t sure exactly what happened but somehow you tripped ending up on the floor. You were trying to get up fast before you got trampled on but you kept getting pushed and shoved down until you felt someone grab your waist and pull you up. Instantly you recognized the familiar cologne and tucked your face into Jungkook’s shoulder as he quickly pulled you through the rest of the airport.

On the plane where it was quiet and safe you started full on crying. You felt so silly but you couldn’t hold it in any more.The fear and anxiety became too much.

Jungkook came over handing you a bottle of water and some ice for your bruised knee. He rubbed soothing circles on your back as the plane took off, “It’s okay Y/N. It’s okay. You’re safe now. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you.”

“It’s not your fault. You did everything you could.”, you whispered starting to feel a little better.

After a while you managed to fall asleep and take a small nap. When you woke up Jungkook was still sitting next to you. He was staring intently at your face.

“Stop looking at me. I’m always so ugly when I wake up.”, you chuckled feeling much better than earlier.

“Impossible. You are never ugly Y/N.”, he whispered.

He was fidgeting with his shoe lace. Something you had picked up on being a nervous habit of his.

“Hey Kook, is there something on your mind?”, you asked.

He waited a moment before nodding, “When we get back from New York I’m going to tell the company that we need to end this fake dating thing. I can’t do it any more.”

You felt like you wanted to cry again but you swallowed it down because maybe he thought you were too weak or why would he want to be with the girl who tripped an embarrassed herself and himself, “O-Okay. It’s up to you.”

“I just…I’m so selfish”, he chuckled, “I’m not going to keep putting you in danger though. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you Y/N, especially if it was my fault. What happened back at the airport…that was a wake up call. I’m sorry I ever suggested this.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion., “What do you mean you suggested this?” You were under the impression this was all the companys PR team but now it seems like he had a part of it.

His cheeks turned a bright red before he ran a hand through his already messy hair, “Well I guess I might as well come clean now.”, he turned his body to look at you fully, “Y/N when the company suggested this fake dating thing I was against it at first. But then…then I thought maybe I could use it as an excuse to spend more time with you. I’ve always thought you were really cute and sweet and kind and I had a bit of a crush on you. So I convinced them to get you to be the woman I fake dated. I was too shy to ask you to hang out so I thought it was a way to spend time with you and get to know you better.”, he made eye contact with you for a brief moment and you could see the fear in them. He continued, “I think I have always been in love with you. I love you more and more every day.”, your heart was practically beating out of your chest at his confession. You tried to stop him but he continued, “And that’s why we have to end this. I don’t want you getting hurt because of me. You don’t deserve this.”

He looked as if he was about to cry and it made you want to just cuddle him and make everything go away. Instead you chose to grab his hand and hold it on your lap, “Jungkook I love you too. I have for quite a while. Honestly, I didn’t think you would ever see me like that so I thought this was all your company’s idea.”, his shoulders seemed to relax a little at your words so you went on, “I know that dating you comes with lots of hardships but I think the positives greatly outweigh those negatives and I don’t mind going through them. If…if you want to I would like to continue to date you, but maybe actually date and not fake date anymore.”, you chuckled.

That got a big smile out of him too which warmed your heart. “I would love to keep dating you Y/N.”, he nodded. You cuddled in closer to him spending the rest of the flight talking and laughing and enjoying each other’s presence.

When the plane landed he had already arranged for a car to pick you up straight from the tarmac so that you wouldn’t have to endure the stress of walking through the airport with him again.

When he finally made it out front and jumped into the car he smiled at seeing your face, “I missed you Y/N.”, he then leaned in and kissed you like it was nothing new. “You already got into the lemonade didn’t you.”, he chuckled after tasting it on your lips.

“Kook we were only separated for like ten minutes and of course I did. You know lemonade is my favorite.”, you giggled.

He leaned over and rested his head on your shoulder, “Doesn’t matter. It was ten minutes too long.”

You gave the top of his head a kiss as the car sped off to your new destination.

[sunnebeam]

"this is our territory."

A 'PERKS OF BEING A HOUSEHUSBAND' DRABBLE.

pairing: min yoongi x reader

plot: the (mis)adventures of retired gangster min yoongi as he leaves behind the life of the mafia and navigates the way of the househusband.

warnings: the way of the househusband au, marriage au, crack, domesticity, there's only one (1) bastard that can defeat yoongi 😟

masterlist + disclaimers.

note: the fact that my top 2 fics on this blog w the most notes/engagements are both yoongi fics,,,, the power he holds!! 😤 as always, hope yous enjoy this cute drabble and let me know ur thoughts!

You love the weekends.

No work. No stress. No bosses nagging at you to work overtime. No files waiting for you to sort through.

Just you, your poodle, and your husband.

There's absolutely nothing that can ruin your weekend. Nothing except—

"YOU BASTARD!"

You jolt upright from your bed, eyes wide in alarm when you hear your husband's normally calm voice shouting profanities from the other room. Luckily, Holly remains deep in slumber on Yoongi's side of the bed even as you're scrambling to the kitchen.

You almost trip on your own two feet when you see Yoongi on the kitchen floor – shirtless, sweaty, and looking absolutely defeated.

"Yoonie?! What happened?"

He's wearing a pained expression.

"I didn't see him coming."

"Who?!"

"I'm sorry, darling," he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I let him get away."

What? Is there a burglar in the apartment?!

"Yoonie, what are you—"

"He's in the living room."

With anxious heartbeats, you and Yoongi head to the living room area. Fortunately, your apartment is tiny enough that every room is next to each other so it only takes a couple of steps for you to near the entryway to the living room. Craning your head, you take a peak to find...

"There he is."

...a cockroach.

Wait—

A cockroach?

You scream, clutching your husband as you hide behind him.

"There are roaches in this building?!" you screech, disgusted when you remember how the landlord conveniently left this little detail when you both first moved in.

"Stay behind me, darling," your husband orders and you look down to see him holding a pest repellent spray in his hand. "I'll handle this."

Your knees quiver when he takes slow steps toward the roach.

"You bastard," he continues, "you think you can just come breaking and entering?"

He's a few steps away.

"This is our territory," he growls as he positions the repellent and his finger hovers over the nozzle. "Die, you bastard!"

He sprays.

Nothing comes out.

"Shit," Yoongi mumbles. "I'm out of ammo."

And then the unthinkable happens.

"Yoonie, it's fucking flying!"

The cockroach flies. Higher. And higher. Then it descends.

"No," you whisper, horrified. "Please, no."

It lands on Yoongi's bare chest.

"Darling," your husband calls out to you, his body frozen but his voice shaky. "I need you to kill it. Even if you get me, too."

"No, no, no. This can't be happening."

You're hysterical.

"You can do it, darling," he assures you, his head jerking to gesture to a spare newspaper laying on the floor. "I know you can."

"But—"

"We have to protect our turf! Do it!"

A tear falls down your cheek. Without any other choice, you take a deep breath before getting the newspaper and folding it in a fan-like pattern.

Once it's all folded, you straighten up. You look your husband in the eye, and all you see is love, pride, and acceptance.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

And with the newspaper in your hand, you scream, swinging your arm back and running towards your husband, before you whip the newspaper forward and slam it on his skin.

You miss.

"I'm sorry, Yoonie," you mumble, head down as you eye the reddening mark on his forehead where you accidentally hit him.

The cockroach is long gone now, having flown out the opened window when you tragically missed it and ended up hitting your husband instead.

"Don't worry about it," he tells you, chuckling.

Yoongi shakes his head at you, endeared. He reaches out a hand and caresses your cheek lovingly.

"You did well, darling."

COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[jeonscatalyst]

Damn, after your last few posts with anons, it just became clear to me how much stuff Tae doesn’t know until he finds out in the group chat. And I’m sure it’s not like the other members are hiding it from him specifically (except maybe when JM didn’t ask him to go to Jeju because he thought Tae was too busy with solo promos). I’m sure all 7 have so much going on that it’s hard to keep up with the schedules of each member all the time.

But Tae’s the only one who bothers to show up (or arrange to be included) after finding out about a certain schedule? Whether it’s AYS or Suchwita or a Weverse live? Is it always and exclusively for JK?

I’m not a Tkkr, I promise. I’m very much in the Jikook camp. But I just cannot decide what to make of Tae’s behaviour. I still don’t know if he is a narcissistic attention-seeker and loves to feed the cult or if he is majorly misunderstood and just has intense fomo and JK is his only dongsaeng so he can get away with popping up unannounced.

Every time he went on live for two minutes seemingly just to drop JK’s name makes me think the former.

When he said to Jimin that he was hurt Jimin didn’t tell him about the Jeju trip, it makes me think the latter.

But then when he pops into a random ARMY chat to drop a selfie, it seems like he’s being self-centered again.

I just can’t figure him out.

Hey anon,

“But Tae’s the only one who bothers to show up (or arrange to be included) after finding out about a certain schedule? Whether it’s AYS or Suchwita or a Weverse live? Is it always and exclusively for JK? "

I think one would only come to this conclusion if they limit things to chapter two and this is also a sort of cherry picking or tunnel vision because before chapter two, we never ever really saw Tae show up for anything of Jk’s and he did show up for other members like Jhope and Namjoon when they had their solo shoots.

I think in chapter two, Tae was trying to do things differently. During seasons greeting 2022, he said his gift to members was going to try to spend more time with them more because that is something he didn’t really do before. Before the solo era Tae mostly spent his off time with his friends outside of work and his wooga members so I guess he wanted to do things differently in chapter two and that is why we saw him actually taking the initiative to spend time with members. He invited Jk to hang out with his friends, also invited Hobi to hang out with his friends, went to support Yoongi during his concert, made time to hang out with Jimin and invited him to his fanmeet and also joined Jimin in his video for CTT. I think he also visited Namjoon or something because he posted some shoes that were Namjoon’s or something so in my opinion, Tae was making a concious decision to actually spend time with his members which is something he didn’t do before.

Yea maybe he seemed a little more focused on Jk maybe by chance or design but it clearly doesn’t mean anything more than that he loves and wanted to support his friend because if they were together, he wouldn’t constantly have to find out about Jk’s schedules from the groupchat would he?

“But I just cannot decide what to make of Tae’s behaviour. I still don’t know if he is a narcissistic attention-seeker and loves to feed the cult or if he is majorly misunderstood and just has intense fomo and JK is his only dongsaeng so he can get away with popping up unannounced.”

To be honest with you I can’t say I know either but I don’t think he ever had any alterior motives. Maybe it was just something as simple as him wanting to spend time with Jk or maybe he is just misunderstood. I also think that some of his actions when it came to Jk were intentional but not because he was trying to feed the cult but maybe because he wanted to show that he and Jk were in a much better place. I think Tae cares about how fans perceive his relationship with the members and how fans see him as a person. I mean he admitted to going into a fan group chat, pretending to be a fan and saying bad things about himself to see what the fans would say. He also spends a lot of time within fan spaces as over the years, he has posted memes, pictures and fanarts that he could have only seen by being neck deep in fan spaces so I think it is clear that he is very aware of the things fans say so maybe he wanted fans to know that him and Jk were in a much better place after their talk on ITS. I could be wrong about this but that is how I interpreted some of his actions.

Also if you know Tae, you know that he has moments when he tends to fixate on particular members. There was a time when his fixation was Jimin. He would go on fancafe and talk about Jimin alot, make posts that could be viewed as romantic about Jimin and then immediately delete them, his weverse is packed with pictures and videos of Jimin, he responded to fans who were asking about Jimin etc. What he was doing with Jungkook in the solo era wasn’t new tbh because anyone who has been in the fandom long enough and paid attention to Vmin, knows that Tae used to go crazy lol.

He is an enigma and could be very difficult to read sometimes but I don’t think there is ever any malice behind his actions.

[beautifulfuckup99]

May you please write a Yoongi imagine, doesn’t matter what the premise is, I just want a fluffy husband Yoongi<3!!!🫶🏼

Sure Thing!

Title: I've Got It From Here

Rating: G

Warning(s): Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Yoongi's Accident, Talks of PTSD, Anxiety, and yes there will be FLUFF.

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoy! Keep the requests comin!

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He doesn't know what triggered it, really. Maybe it was sleeping on it wrong? Maybe it was the cold weather of Seattle, where he was touring currently? Maybe it was performing so hard every night?

No matter the real cause, this morning Yoongi woke with a stiff shoulder and a tightness in his chest like he usually got when experiencing this pain. It's like with the pain came the memories, came the flashbacks of the tire...

Yoongi shuts his eyes, wanting to push the image away. Days like this convinced him that he, indeed, was not over the past. But he had to be. For the fans, for the sake of the tour, and more importantly, for you.

You had finally gotten a free schedule to come visit your husband on tour and Yoongi would be damned if this trip was ruined by his damn shoulder. Damnit.

And so, with a deep breath, and slight wince, Yoongi got out of bed and proceeded to get ready to meet you at the airport.

********************************

It's all a rush of cameras and screaming fans and the flash, God the flash. It was broad daylight, why the hell did they need the flash on?!

And then as quickly as it's all too much for him, it becomes background noise the second your arms wrap around him. And he bears the pain so he can hold you back as you laugh in pure delight at being back in your husband's arms.

"God, this feels good..." You laugh happily as you snuggle more into his chest, kissing his shoulder softly as usually, and Yoongi bites back a soft hiss.

"Tell me about it..." He sighs softly as he puts his face in your hair, breathing in your scent with a deep and full whiff. You'd never know how much he needed this. Needed you. He felt calmer already.

"Let's go! I've been looking forward to this for weeks!" You laugh as you hold his arm while bouncing towards baggage claim. Yoongi stiffens and shuts his eyes. You pause instantly. "Baby?" You ask in concern.

"I-I'm good." He says fast. "Didn't get enough sleep last night." He says. You'd been hard at work these past few months while he's been gone. This was your vacation. And he was not going to ruin that. He could take it. He could endure. The smile on your face would be worth it.

********************************

As soon as you're settled in the hotel room, you're dragging Yoongi around the hotel and find a display of activity brochures. You gush over the different restaurants, museums, and live concerts they have this week. You playfully hold up a 'Folklore Concert in the Park' pamphlet. "Maybe you'll get inspiration for the next album..." You joke and he smiles a thin lipped smile.

"Maybe. Do a whole country folklore album. Hat, boots, and horse." He teases along and you giggle as you nudge him. He holds his arm when you're not looking and when you gasp, he straightens up.

"Festival! Winter Festival! Happening tonight. We can go, right? It's ok?" You ask hopefully as you look up at your husband with the same big eyes that always get him.

He looks you in the eyes. Getting lost in them was better than any coping mechanism. You were the best distraction and anxiety reducer. How could you not know how much those eyes meant to him? He finally hums. "I think we can stop by, look around..." He gives in softly.

"This is gonna be the best vacation ever!" You giggle and hug him tightly. He squeezes his eyes to stop the tears. "I love you!" You giggle and he lets out a soft sigh. "I love you..." He whispers.

****************************

Later that evening, you're led into the Winter Festival that was taking place at some park by a river. Families, couples, and groups of friends of all ages are running around. Christmas lights adorned the trees, and the freshly laid snow on the ground looked like something out of a movie.

You're wearing a casual outfit with your sweater and one of Yoongi's leather jackets with fur inside of it on top. Layers were the most important thing in the winter, so you didn't mind the wool hat and scarf you were nuzzled in. Yoongi holds your hand to the best of his ability, but the cold weather and the heavy winter coat was not helping. And the scarf around his neck felt like a noose.

And, oh my god, was he breathing? When was his last breath? This coat was so damn heavy. He couldn't focus on what you were sayin-wait. You were speaking?

He finally blinks, trying to focus on you as you joke about the huge inflatable decorations. "They'd look good in front of our place. Of course, I think if we ever posted our house looking like this, Taehyung would be the first to mock us for it." You giggle as you enjoy the 'Winter Wonderland' aesthetic.

Yoongi hums and you eye him a bit. Something was wrong with your husband. You could feel it in your heart. He'd been quiet the whole day. Barely eating, barely laughing. He was deep in his own thoughts. Something that only happened when he was either thinking of a new song, or when his anxiety got really bad.

You grip his hand a bit firmer to try and ground him, but he barely reacts. You finally move in front of him and stop, causing him to bump into you. He curses at the suddenness, and you watch him in concern.

"Yoongi..." You try as you make him look at you. "I'm fine." He says fast. "You want... Decorations." He says to prove he's been paying attention, but his voice comes out in soft pants. His skin is pale, his lips are trembling, his eyes show the panic in his head.

"Baby. Stay here, I'm gonna get you something to drink." You say fast before you walk off, pulling out your phone to check the time and to see if you could text the driver to come around for you two.

You're busy on your phone and Yoongi watches you walk away but is thrown further into his panic when he sees a black car swerve around the corner to enter the parking lot. The same parking lot you were about to cross to get to the refreshments table.

Flashes of that day runs through his mind as he takes off after you. "Y/N!" He screams in horror. You stop in your tracks and turn fast to face him with wide eyes. He grabs your arm and yanks you out of the street as the car full of teenagers speeds past.

"What is the matter with you?! You didn't see that car?! It could have-" You cut Yoongi off as you try and get him to focus, but he continues his panicked rambles. "I won't lose you. I won't lose you." He repeats fast, over and over again as you grab his face hard.

"Baby!" You say finally and his bottom lip begins to quiver a bit as he looks at you. His walls, his prideful stubbornness, his 'don't worry about me' attitude... it all crumbles down right in front of your eyes. You stroke his cheeks gently. "What's wrong, baby?" You whisper as tears slowly slide down his puffy cheeks that are pink from the cold.

"It hurts." He finally admits and your heart breaks as the realization dawns on you.

"I've got you, baby..." You sigh and carefully pull in his 5-foot 9 frame like he's the smallest thing. "I've got you..." You sigh as you nod at security to lead you two away.

****************************

"Ah... Ah... Ow!" Yoongi groans as you focus on putting some muscle relaxer cream on his shoulder and then wrapping it, so the lidocaine cream doesn't get anywhere else.

"Why didn't you tell me? You could've really made the pain worse..." You whisper as you carefully lay him back on a pile of pillows to hopefully help him rest.

"This was supposed to be your vacation..." He whispers and you sigh deeply. "If you weren't already hurt, I'd hurt you for being so dumb. This was our vacation. And it's not a good one if you're in pain. Marriage is a give and take game, Yoongi." You say.

"Yeah, 50/50..." He mutters and you roll your eyes. "No. Not 50/50. Sometimes it's 70/30. Sometimes it's 40/60. But the whole point of this arrangement is we take turns. You're always all in. Give me a chance to show I can be the 80 in this relationship and go down to 20." You say as you stroke his hair out of his face. He shuts his eyes at that.

"I don't want you getting tired of carrying me around..." He whispers and you stroke his soft skin before leaning in. "These shoulders can carry whatever your shoulders can't. Gladly. Any day of the week..." You whisper as you gently nudge your nose with his.

He looks into your eyes, his eyes teary. "You're not there anymore..." You whisper, knowing where his mind was. He closes his eyes, saying nothing, but nodding along.

You play with his hair a bit more and watch as he slowly starts to relax. "Rest, baby. I've got it from here..." You promise gently as he drifts off to sleep.

*****************************************

Hope you liked it!

[slaaverin]

I love that last ask, and your reply.

Just one thing I’ve wondered since the ending of the show myself…

So, I was thinking hypothetically, that even if it was the case that jikook didn't see each other for months, if they are ‘just friends', why on earth did they need to carve out time to travel together? They could have literally just hung out in Seoul when eventually free, had dinner, drinks, gone to a gig, (I mean they did, when they went to D-Day, they hung out with Yoongi as Jimin said), like they do with others, like Jimin going to an art gallery with Joon (who he also didn't see much of in 2023).

I mean seeing as how busy they were, especially as the schedule was fit into JK's already very busy schedule (and literal release of his first solo single) squeezed in, why would it matter?

Because if they are just friends, they are no more just friends than any of the other member, or any of their other friends?

I know they made it work, by having it filmed, and had to bc of MS, and that this was planned and executed by the company, and sold to Disney as we know. It was obviously part of their chapter 2, I think spearheaded by Jimin, but it is such a major thing to do.

But, again, if they were only friends, why?

I say this also because in a majorly loud way, it marks them as different to the others. The why of it all. Why they wanted/needed to do this with each other, and only them (as was intended). Jimin spent half of 2023 saying the only members he saw were Hobi and Yoongi - which in turn made other shippers think that they are finally ready to show the world their relationship (and I mean that literally, I saw a thread about it yesterday, that in 2023 Yoongi was fulfilling Jimin's words in 'Serendipity'). I digress… but he also supported Hobi at Lola and Yoongi in Newark.

If we think about it, in real time we did not know what they were doing in NYC, and we only got fan stalker pics, nothing from them. Nothing on social media, no live. Why? Jimin went live with Yoongi, and posted pics of them on Instagram, also with Joon when they went to the art gallery. Why didn't they post or go live even if it was just him supporting JK in NYC, like he did Yoongi, and Hobi. It makes no sense if they are 'just friends, as to me, again, it marks them as different?

I can’t wrap my head around it if they are just friends (I know they aren’t in my gut), because it hits different to me.

There was another thread going round on x about unpopular opinions on them. Ridiculous thread, some comments were downright ridiculous, homophobic ( coming from supposed supporters) and typical they broke up: have never been together: are just bros… blah blah. Again, from jikookers. However there were some good takes shouting back. Especially when it comes to MS.

The enlistment then hits harder. That is so damn loud. The only idols to ever use the buddy system. To me the whole laying low in 2023 makes sense in that context. We didn’t know about the show until after their enlistment had been secured. We saw them at Yoongis concert but that was fine bc he is a member, they were with Tae. They were in NY we didn’t know why, until we got that infamous back selca, we had nothing. Then boom, what followed a year ago in 10 days is something none of us saw coming. The fact they left everyone behind but each other, is loud. It’s so loud it’s hard tk believe it’s real. Again, to me in this scenario and with them being who they are, this was so meaningful. If they were ‘just friends’ why? There was no need. Especially seeing how again, from our perspective and the fandom at large they were distant in 23, didn’t see each other, then bam. They enlisted?

What in the world?

It should be lorded over, protected too, and shouted from the rooftops. But I know, like you said, it’s safer this way. For us who see it to protect them. To celebrate them quietly.

You see that's something that has always been striking to me.

The fact that Jimin or Jungkook have no trouble sharing some of their outings or interaction with other members but somehow when it comes to the two of them it's always a bit more "hush hush" meaning they don't really show it and we often have to learn it from other people.

Why the need for this kind of privacy if they are just friends? It's doesn't make sense.

It seems that their time together is something precious to them, something they cherish. You cherish the things you love.

So that's very telling.

Once again with enlistement it's everything we need to know.

To discuss that kind of commitment you have to see each other and communicate a lot, plan, think, talk. It's not a small things. So god knows how many times they have seen each other without anyone knowing.

The fact they don't really need us to know it shows it's not really about public image or their colleague realtionship. It was a deeply private and personal decision.

As I said before all of them are friends. They could have enlisted with anyone in the group, or alone, but they didn't.

It shows the strength and commitment to their relationship, which is obviously more deep that what's going on with the group and the public.

Honestly even if we were pretty sure about jikook since all these years for me there was still a bit of healthy skepticism you know like "maybe we're just...wrong?" 😂 but damn when the annoucement for enlistement came it just comfirmed everything in a very solid way. The way it all played out, it was clear that their feelings run deeper than simple friendship. It's way, way more. Because this is simply a huge decision to make.

And the way they talked about it in AYS "I'm not worried about us fighting" do you get the level of connexion to make a statement like this? Once again, huge.

Ah I simply have zero doubts in my mind. Like, they did everything, they told everything that show the amount of love and commitment they have for each other.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and take care 💜

[i-am-baechu]

Summary: Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. Y/N and Jungkook love each other but when familiar and new faces come into their lives, things get complicated. On top of that, a surprise that truly shakes their plans for the future. Will their relationship push forward or will Jungkook lose his fangirl once and for all?

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Thirty: The World Of Being An Idol

→ Genre: Idol au, established relationships, girl group stan au, social media au, K-pop fan page au, romance, angst, comedy, and smut

→ Main pairing: Idol! Jungkook x Fan girl! Reader 

→ Side ships: Yoongi x OC & Jin x OC

→ Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, alcohol usage, anxiety disorder, stalking, and obsessive behavior

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

Y/N stared at her phone and sighed. She tossed it on the bed as she sat on the edge with a worried face. Today was the interview and she knew it needed to be done but now that the day has come, it's scary. The whole world knows about her and they keep asking about her. She saw the tweets that were accusing her of using Jungkook to meet the girl groups she loved and how she wasn’t in love with him. She knows the truth and that's all that matters but it still made her feel so small. Jungkook opened the door and frowned when he saw her looking at the floor with a blank expression. He slowly walked up to her and sat next to her. She looked up and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “Are you okay, babe?” 

“I’m not sure. I think I’m just nervous....I saw what people were saying about me.”

He glanced at her phone and then back at her, “Don’t listen to them. They don’t know about us.” 

“I know...it just hurts.” 

“Ignore them. I know it's easier said than done but I’ll be here for you.” 

She looked up at him and nodded his head, “Do you think they will accept me?” 

“The real fans will. I love you and only you. If they support me then they will love you. If not for you, I wouldn’t sing and if not for you, I would be in hell. You’re my ending and my beginning. My wife. We will get through this together, no matter what.” 

He pushed some hair away from her forehead as she let a tear escape, “I love you, Jeongguk.”

“I love you, Y/N. Let’s go before it gets darker.”

“Okay.” 

She stood up and glanced at the mirror with a worried look. She looked at Jungkook with a frown, “Is this okay?” She was wearing a simple black dress that showed off her shoulder and around her neck was the necklace that Jungkook gifted her for Christmas. She looked beautiful in his eyes.

Of course, he was matching her and leaned down placing a kiss on her forehead, “You look perfect.” 

“Do I?” 

“Always.” 

The car ride there happened so fast that Y/N couldn’t even process anything. She didn’t even realize she was at Bighit’s building until Jungkook rubbed her thigh, “Babe, we're here.” 

She looked away from the window and nodded her head, “Okay...we’re not doing pictures right? Like no photoshoot?” 

“No, photoshoot. It’s just going to be us talking. It’s going to be a video but it's not going to show your face and in the magazine we have. That’s it.” 

“Is my face going to blur out?” 

“It’s just going to be our voices like how you wanted. Don’t worry I made sure they followed your requests. No surprises.” 

She nodded her head and leaned forward placing a quick kiss on his lips, “Okay, thank you for everything.” 

“Anything for you babe.” 

The hallways were quiet and the only sound that was heard was their shoes echoing. She held onto Jungkook’s arm tight as they made their way. They stood in front of the door and he glanced down at her, “Are you ready?” 

“Yeah...are you? You're going to get asked so many questions now because of me.” 

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned down placing a kiss on her forehead, “I’m okay with that. I can talk about my wife to the whole world.” 

“Are you going to tell them that-”

“Yeah, I'm not hiding anymore.” 

The door opened and one of the Bighit staff smiled at them, “Are you guys ready?” 

“Yes.” They both answered at the same time causing them to look at each other with a smile. They walked into the room and her nerves disappeared when she saw the room semi empty. It made her feel better. They sat down as Jungkook placed his hand on top of hers, rubbing her knuckles gently. 

The interviewer smiled at them as he settled in, “Hello, my name is Park Minho and I will be doing this interview. Thank you for trusting me to do this interview.” 

Jungkook smiled at him and nodded his head, “Thank you for coming.” 

Y/N smiled and looked down at the table, “Thank you for taking the time out to do this.”

Minho smiled at them and took out the equipment. She placed the headphones on her ears as she looked at Jungkook who was giving her an encouraging smile. Minho opened his notebook and rubbed his hands together, “Alright, my name is Park Minho and I’m happy to say I am interviewing Jungkook and Y/N. Y/N, this is your first time coming forward and I’m sure it was scary for you. How is everything settling in?” 

She swallowed some spit and moved forward to the microphone, “I-It was nerve-wracking. I’m just a normal person and there’s nothing really special about me.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and leaned forward, “She’s extraordinary.” 

“Jungkook...stop.” 

Minho let out a small laugh, “You guys have been together for a couple of years now. How would you explain your love story?” 

Jungkook glanced at Y/N with a soft smile, “Fate. Meeting her changed my life and I’m so faithful that I met her. She’s the greatest thing that has happened to me.” 

Y/N felt her face get hot and she nodded her head, “I would say fate too. Honestly, it was meant to be because I got his photocard...I remember it like it was yesterday.”

“No one introduced you two? You guys just met by accident?” 

“Yeah, I was shocked when I met him. I was extremely shy and I kept to myself. He actually came up to me.”

Jungkook let out a laugh and nodded his head, “I was curious about her. She was so shy that I had to try to talk to her. Even if she pushed me away, I wanted to try at least.”

“You were determined, weren’t you?” 

“Of course I was. I heard bells the moment I saw her.” 

“Kook, stop.” 

Minho turned the page and glanced at Y/N, “In your note that you posted, you mentioned that you've been through a roller coaster. If you're comfortable enough, can you touch on that?” 

She nodded her head and looked over at Jungkook who gave her a small smile. She glanced at Minho with a frown, “I saw the rumors on Twitter. It actually made me sick because some of the things were true and it was scary to see that someone knew it that wasn’t in my inner circle. On top of the rumors, I was getting stalked and harassed in my real life. It was too much and...I had to go back to my mom in America. I never felt so...scared.” 

“I would be scared if someone knew things about me. I’m sorry you went through that. Is this the main reason why you wanted to come forward?” 

“Yes...I had to be one step ahead of them somehow. I also wanted everyone to know that I love Jungkook with all my heart and I’m not hiding anymore...well hiding my face because I’m not ready for my face to be known. Still nervous about people.” 

Minho nodded his head and glanced at Jungkook, “I saw that you posted on Weverse about everything. Did you feel good to post about it?”

“It felt good to let everyone know that I won’t stay quiet on this matter. When it comes to Y/N’s safety, I will do anything. It was a big moment for us.” 

“I saw that you kept talking about your future. What are your plans for the future?” 

The couple glanced at each other and Y/N nodded her head. Jungkook turned towards Minho with a wide grin, “Y/N, is my fiance. We’re planning on getting married.” 

“Oh wow!? Congrats! Is this the first time you're announcing it?” 

Y/N glanced down at her ring and nodded her head, “Yeah...it’s kind of crazy to do it where the whole world can know it. It felt nice to be so open now.”

The rest of the interview was really easy and it felt second nature for the couple. When everything was done, Y/N was mentally tired. Jungkook smiled down at her, who was leaning her head against his arm. They were on the roof of the building wanting fresh air before heading home. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling okay. It feels weird to have everyone know that I’m your fiance.” 

“They need to know. I’m so proud of you.”

She glanced up at him and smiled, “I couldn’t do without your strength.” 

“Can I take a picture?” 

She raised her eyebrow, “For what?”

“I just wanted to show us off and after that interview, I want to show everyone my love for you.” 

She rolled her eyes, “They’re going to be sick at the way you talk.”

“I love you and I don’t care. Just one picture.”

“Fine. After that, can we go home? I miss Bam.”

Jungkook set his phone up and glanced at her with a small glare, “Your fiance is right here but you miss him?”

“I miss our son...I also want cuddles with soba.” 

“Whatever my wife wants. Now picture.” 

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Tag List:

@agustdpeach @mdavt @aloverga @drissteele @xngelsau

[jmdbjk]

Episode 2: Adolescence 

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

They begin by conveying how important concerts are for them. Concerts. Not performances. Concerts.

They thought they “made it” in 2016 when they booked the Olympic Gymnastics Arena for a concert. It was the dream venue for idols at the time and are amazed they are performing there and never imagined they’d have a concert that big.

During the interviews where they are expressing their thoughts about what performing during concerts means to them, we see footage of different concerts illustrating what they are trying to explain. 

Hobi harkens back to their first concert in October 2014 for The Red Bullet tour, at Seoul’s AX Korea with 6,000 in attendance. He says they didn’t care about how many hundreds or thousands were there, they were just so thankful for the fans who came to see them.

Attendance rose at each progressive concert. Their fourth concert in 2015 had 13,500 in attendance at the Seoul Olympic Handball Gymnasium, and their fifth concert in May 2016 at the Olympic Gymnastics Arena, mentioned at the beginning of this episode, had 25,000 in the audience. They were in awe at how huge it was when they first arrive at that venue, looking out at the empty seats before they began rehearsing.

They were always so emotional during their ending ments, so thankful for what they were experiencing after knowing how hard they’d worked from debut up until the end of each one of those concerts.

In the early years, the hearts of those young men were bursting with passion and to see so many fans supporting them had to be an overwhelming relief, its no surprise their emotions overflowed.

Though they finally saw their hard work being appreciated, the joy was tempered with having to deal with pushback.

One of the things I noticed that was not mentioned yet in Episode 1 was how much pushback, bullying, negativity and hate they received from their peers and other fans outside their team and company from the very first day.

Working their asses off to fulfill their dreams while being faced with all that makes it even more amazing that they stuck with it. 

It was them against the entire kpop industry. We all know how much BTS is hated by other kpop fandoms. We see it daily on the X timeline. The jealousy is real, it's destructive and it's dangerous.

BTS is untouchable now but in 2013, Jungkook was 15 years old. A CHILD! Jin was 20! BigHit had no money. There was a point after debut when they were asked to move out of the dorm because the company couldn't afford it anymore. Underdogs is an understatement, truly what the hell did they think they were doing up against all these established kpop groups, their fandoms and the big 3 companies?

Now, in Episode 2, we start to hear how the guys handled all this. For some of them, they did not handle it very well. Namjoon talks about his panic attacks and how he avoids the internet and going online during a song/album release. 

In Episode 1 we saw Hobi and Jin so thrilled and excited, anxiously waiting and monitoring online their very first album release at midnight on June 13, 2013 and for Namjoon to tell us now he can’t enjoy the thrill of that is so devastating to me. 

When an artist sends their art out into the world, it is like a living part of themselves, an extension of themselves that they lay bare to the world. The visceral reaction of panic when seeing people hate you for it…and the amount of courage it takes to ignore that and keep going and make more art to release into the world…I challenge anyone to show me they have THAT amount of courage.

And I implore you to understand the depths these guys LOVE their fans ESPECIALLY BEFORE THEY WERE BIG to keep doing it in spite of the hate.

Yoongi was incredibly diplomatic when he says “we had a lot of unreasonable controversies.” I would have said "we had a lot of total fucking bullshit that meant nothing thrown at us by a bunch of stupid butt hurt people." There, I fixed it for you, Yoongi.

They had a ludicrous amount of people gunning for them, hating them for being successful, hating them for being different. Jealousy drives people to do the most hateful things.

Jimin says, “having to deny the bad rumors was always so upsetting.”

Namjoon recieved death threats during the Red Bullet Tour. Early on they were accused of chart manipulation because they sold so many albums. This is the company had no money, there was no money to spend on chart manipulation!

They were accused of plagiarism and brought to court and were exonerated because it wasn't true.

Jimin received death threats at the end of the Wings Tour.

Being the humans that they are, with feelings and emotions, Yoongi says they and the fans were getting desperate and spiteful in the face of all this backlash and hate. 

The fan song “2! 3!” was an anomaly. It is somewhat somber for a song dedicated to fans. Most fan songs are light and cheery. But this song fit the emotions BTS was experiencing and bonded them closer with their fans and was again, another instance of the members being sincere and genuine in their expressions. 

The emotional scenes of BTS standing on stage, Army singing the lyrics back at them, waving their purple plastic bagged Army bombs, has to be one of the best memories for them. A truly bonding moment between artist and fan.

December 2016, Mnet Asian Music Awards, they win Artist of the Year. It is their first major award. Yoongi says “in a movie, the ending credits are supposed to roll at this point.”

They’ve reached the top… as they knew it. End of story... 2016? Nope.

Early the next year while they were on the Wings Tour, they were told they were going to the United States for the Billboard Music Awards. No other Korean act had ever done that before. They had no expectations for that trip. They had no idea what they were supposed to do when they got there.

It’s kinda cute seeing them prepare and wondering what to expect. They are so young and you can tell they are trying to figure out if they’re supposed to try to emulate the image of a western pop star.

When they get out of the van at the red carpet event, they all look around the back of the van to the other side of the street and see the fans screaming at them. They knew who the real fans were and they wondered what everyone else thought: perhaps people were just curious about who they were. 

Namjoon wonders how different it may have been had they, the members, been a little more culturally proficient, meaning at that time, they were inexperienced, naive and ignorant about the impact they were making. It was all a big wonder to them at that point. They were thinking “do they even know who we are?” 

Then they win Billboard’s Social Artist award, not a major award but still, it had been won by Justin Bieber for many years prior and now it was BTS’ opportunity to kick in the door. And they did. With all seven pairs of feet. Western artists began to take note and wanted to collaborate with them. The thorn in the western music industry's side had arrived in the form of this team of 7 and their fans.

Yoongi thought it was a one-off token award, but then they were invited to perform at the AMA’s. They can’t believe they’ve made it that far. 

They are soaring and going places they never imagined they’d go. Everything seemed like a fairytale, the success, the adulation, the global attention…

But it was happening too fast, their young minds, their emotional development and sense of self never had a chance to mature and catch up to their work load and the pressures and expectations their image and success placed on them. They never had a chance to stop and assess themselves personally and consider if this level of fame was something they even wanted.

Literally, they never. stopped. working. When they say "we just kept running forward" that is not a euphemism, it is literal.

As soon as one event, concert, appearance, fan meet, photo shoot, shooting Run BTS, music shows, whatever was over, it was on to the next one...from plane to hotel to venue back to hotel back to plane, to be repeated over and over.

In mid-2017, by the time they talked about resting for a while, it was perilously close to being too late. They still had the rest of the Wings Tour to complete through December. Some of them had already considered quitting. Some did not possess the confidence to endure the burden. Some of them wondered if pausing was the right thing since they were doing so well. 

They were confused by how they could be feeling like this after they’d worked so hard to get to this point.

The title of this episode is "Adolescence" and it pertained not only to the members who were just emerging from it and their careers that had gotten past the starting line and now riding an almost out of control rocket to stardom. It also was a point in time for the company trying to get its feet under it, for its leader Bang PD trying to steer this team, to figure out how to manage this worldwide sensation they'd created.

Bang PD had to learn how to deal with his team's enormous success as he watched them begin to burn out. He embraced a philosophy of focusing on the importance for an artist to have autonomy and be happy as a person which was not a thing in the kpop industry at that time. He was worried about their mental well being and their happiness. He suggested a break.

They knew there was an "end" coming eventually. End of contract, military... et al. They pondered the inability to enjoy the fruits of their hard work and that it couldn't "end" with them being unhappy.

We know in 2018 they renegotiated their contracts. 

For a group as close as they were, as committed as they were to their careers and to each other, they had to come together and discuss how they were feeling while being burned out, they had to admit to each other they wanted to quit. We don’t know the nitty-gritty details of how it went down but they worked through it and re-committed to each other and their team.

They didn’t give up and that tells me not a single one of them are quitters.

My own personal thoughts are that they recognized they needed to stop at that specific point in time and regroup. They knew enlistment was coming eventually and the typical life-cycle of a kpop group had been about 7 years when idols aged and younger ones took their place. But they'd reached places in the stratosphere that none other had before. I think they paused, recalibrated and actually let themselves seriously think of a future after enlistment that would allow them to keep up this level of success, to keep pushing boundaries...and therefore they re-evaluated what was in that contract to include things that ensured their well-being so they could grow. That new contract was set to expire this year, well after Jin was supposed to be back from the military and most likely all of them. I am curious to know what that original 2018 contract planning included...

Anyway, I accidentally rambled a lot adding extra context and my own thoughts while watching this episode.

Review of Episode 3 next…

[floradinterlunium]

When Rationality Becomes Irrational

The number one reason people refuse to accept or admit the obvious nature of Jikook’s relationship is not because of Homophobia or Taekook, it’s because of excessive rationality--Jikook can’t be in a relationship because of the risks.

We’ve all heard the rationalizations:

1. Why would Jikook risk their careers and their bandmates careers over what could potentially amount to a fling? A break up would destroy the group! Jimin and Jungkook are too professional to take such a risk.

2. Hybe would never allow them to be in a relationship. BTS is their number one money maker and Jimin and JK are two of the most popular members. Let’s forget break up, what if they’re outed...that would destroy the group and with it HYBE’s number one source of revenue. So anything that looks suspicious has to be fan service because its financial suicide to allow Jikook to be “real.”

And I will admit all the above is true! Jikook being in a relationship is a massive risk! But this is where rationality can start to impede on our logic.

Yes, it is “irrational” to enter into a relationship with your same sex bandmate in a homophobic country when you are at the peak of your careers...but it was also unavoidable...

Let me explain:

Imagine falling in love with your best friend that you not only happen to work with but also live with. To make matter worse, let’s also imagine that your friend also loves you too. A physical relationship at the very least is bound to happen because at no point are you ever able to escape your feelings...you are with the object of your affection 24/7.

In my opinion,  It is more logical to expect a relationship to blossom out of that, regardless of the risks, then to expect these two individuals to have more self control than a Buddhist Monk. 

It is not rational to expect people to Always behave “rationally.” Thus, whether or not Jikook being in a relationship is rational or not should play no role in whether or not one thinks they are. Because there is no doubt that them being a couple is a risk...no one is arguing against that. All we are saying is risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because things like GCFT happened:

Jungkook planned and paid to take Jimin to Tokyo for his birthday--A city he said he wanted to spend his free time in on multiple occasions. He then spent a lot of time researching and constructing a romantic vlog of Jimin in Tokyo  set to the tune of a romantic song. No normal unbiased person walked away from that video thinking anything other than this video was made by a man in love with Jimin. 

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because they say things to, and about each other like, “I promised him I’d go even to the moon with him,” or “he’s my I am you, you are me,” or “I want to spend a long time with you” or “my favorite thing is waking up and seeing JK.” These aren’t things Just friends or even best friends say to each other in normal conversations. These are words lovers speak to each other.

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because instead of just flying to Hawaii from Europe, Jimin chose to fly back to Korea, get JK a birthday cake, and plan a birthday party to surprise Jungkook. He didn’t just wish Jungkook a happy birthday like any just “friend” would do, he made it a point to never miss celebrating Jungkook’s birthday with him. That is something a boyfriend or husband would do for their partner.

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because whenever JK looks at or talks about Jimin he has stars in his eyes. Jungkook comes live a lot and he spends the vast majority of his lives either live reacting to Jimin content, talking about Jimin, or becoming like a kid at recess whenever Jimin makes a point to comment on his lives. How can anyone watch JK’s recent lives and not conclude that, that man is in love with Jimin. His behavior is not normal friend behavior. Hobi’s support, and Yoongi’s support is normal friend behavior. They show up for him, cheer him on and even fan girl. But JK takes the cake. He spends huge chunks of time just gushing over JM, Why? Because he loves him.

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because when sick the only person JK doesn’t mind accompanying him or staying in the room with him, even when he’s being stripped naked is Jimin. When RM asked if he wanted them to leave for privacy...JK said yes but no one made JM leave because it’s understood that JM is not like the rest when it comes to JK. That’s a high level of closeness...to allow someone to see you so vulnerable, in a state of helplessness and be okay with it. 

Risk aside there is no way they aren’t in a relationship because they are always together. Band members, staff, they themselves admit this. They are always together on and off break. JK said when they were on break the only members he spoke to were Ji-hope. When members mention them they confuse their names, or talk about them in unison...Jk and Jimin did this or JK and JM are always up late! They are a package deal. We may not see them much now days but we know they are still together a lot because of the way they speak and other’s speak about them as if they are used to seeing them together “JM will come (box) when he gets off.” “JK make ramen for me when I come over.” “JM come eat chicken with me-” JM responds I will come when done. 

Risk aside...Their closeness defies normal friendship closeness. Jikook are human with human impulses and feelings. If they started having feelings for each other there was no avoiding a relationship...regardless of the risk...regardless of Hybe...regardless of the band! No normal human being would be able to stop themselves from entering into a relationship with a person they loved if they were under the same conditions. Every day i grow more sure of the fact that they are together because when I look at them I look at the abundance of footage BTS footage, fan sightings, JIkook statements and I conclude that even though they are well aware of the risks they took it because they knew there was no other option.

Jungkook is more superstitious then Jimin he believes in things like Destiny and from the way he looks at Jimin and behaves towards, protects him and sometimes treats him like porcelain it is clear that this man sees Jimin as his Destiny. Jimin while self admittedly doesn’t believe in things like fate and destiny, he does believe in committing oneself to someone for life and I truly think he sees JK as his life partner...which is why, as careful of a person as he is, he has taken the risk...because JK is his person.

[marengogo]

came across this thread today, the op was saying how Army don’t stream for the members equally, and that we all should love all their music.

I’m lucky I do, and I don’t agree necessarily with the thread, but is there some truth to it? Have the company sabotaged the members? Do they care about their solo careers?

I get the feeling they do and don’t. As in, they respected the decision for them to go solo but only to a degree, bc I can see there was some errors, or fumbles along the way, and each solo fan base that’s come along be it Army or vile solos, has a gripe.

Is it bc the members just want to be in the group? To me they keep saying it, Jimin said it to Yoongi, so you have him being so successful in his solo debut, and gaining awards and records left and right, but to Yoongi he says the group comes first. Obviously solos ignore this, are demanding pjm 3 already, think he’s going to act next, and want a world tour next year. Are they going to be disappointed? Or will Army?

How do you think this will look next year and beyond?

The one thing I do agree with the person about it getting them to do weird things when the come back, maybe not Run but kinda, the childish things surely should be left at the door? Not bc they weren’t good, but they are all nearly 30 plus.

Dear Anon,

Thank you for stopping by with this Ask 🙏🏾. There’s actually been many, very interesting Asks that have been sent, which deserve an answer but this one has topics I’ve been meaning to talk about since June but business and laziness have been reigning supreme in my neck of the woods so … with regards to; How I view Chapter 1.5. Cause you see, we call it Chapter 2, for obvious reasons, but I am almost certain that on an episode of Suchwita one of the boys mentioned how their coming back together as a band would be what they consider Chapter 2, which you could be thinking “Tomatoh, Tomahto”, but I think it is a very distinctive chapter in the story of their lives, which deserves its proper nomenclature.

So, thanks to you, I am basically going to be ranting, educatedly as always, and because I have been seriously frustrated about many points within your Ask, I will be probably be at an all time sarcasm, but I want to say this now, please rest assured, it is not directed at you at all mainly at majority of the people on the blue Bird App 🤡. I will do my best to obviously answer all your questions in the process, however, if I were to fail in doing so, please feel free to write back and say “Yo, you pansy-ass Marengo, you did everything but answer my questions, where my answers at?!” 🫰🏾💜. 

And that’s it for my preface disclaimer, now, may the rant commence!

CHAPTER 1.5 WAS MEANT FOR ARMY

There is a disconnect. 

There is a massive disconnect between the Tannies and many ARMY, which was created due to our future’s uncertainty, mixed with dreadful tales from the past. One thing we tend to forget, sometimes, is that these boys are de facto from South Korea. In the past couple of years, no matter how global they get, the way the Western Music Industry has been “dealing” with them nominating them for grammys, but never winning, not wanting them to be on radio, etc, added to the way they are treated in their very own home worse than criminals upon making mistakes, only good for trophies and tourism, etc has heavily emphasised this fact for me.

And then the biggest one of all; SK’s Conscription aka Compulsory Military Service. Few have been given exemptions, based on having done waaaay less than our boys many a politician son is within this as well …, and there was a period between 2020 and 2021 where I wished they could be exempted. My opinion changed since then, but in all honesty, regardless of what the government would decide, or what Koreans felt about it, deep down, both them, as well as ourselves, knew that they would be going. That being understood, it was now a case to be confronted with the sad history that idols who go for their service tend to be forgotten and can never really make a successful comeback. Hence, as Korean men, they must have worried about this like crazy, 18 months are, after all, a lot of days to ask for someone to wait in their case it was a total of almost 3 years.

Blue Bird ARMY: B1tch! I’d wait even 10 years for the boys, what the hell are you on about?! … Yeah well, it wasn’t just waiting for us though, was it? hyb3 is going through its fair amount of sh1t, and random nugus and their mamas keep trying to smear the boys’ name every other business day. It’s been hard AF for us going through it, and I am sure for them as well, not being able to be here with us while we go through it. Missing each other has been a major issue as well, but, speaking about missing, let’s go back to the disconnect I was talking about. Here is the situation:

Tannies - “I don’t want to leave ARMY, I’m so scared they will forget me, but at the same time, I need some time alone, so perhaps this is a good time as any to wander alone, for a bit, while providing ARMY with something they can remember me by, hopefully appreciate, and mostly enjoying, just while we are apart for a while. Basically, I get to explore and have new goals, before having to serve but all the while I’ll keep my lovely ARMY entertained: WIN-WIN!”.

ARMY - “I don’t want the Tannies to leave but they have to, so, somehow, I have to show how much I appreciate them and how there is no way in hell I could ever forget them- BUT HOLD ON … he got a concert, but my bias didn’t … global superstar? What is my fav then? Chopped liver? … Jazz?? Why the hell should I listen to that, when we have a great pop song … The company doesn’t care about my fav, why are they even here, they should leave! … Family? What family, they never wanted to be together to begin with, as soon as the military is over, each one will go their separate way, mark my words … 🤡.

We are on completely different mental and emotional planes.

I am sure the boys are super happy with all the goals and achievements they made while being away, and I am positive they didn’t think any of this was possible while they were not around, but if even it were to happen, they probably thought ARMY would do it like they always have, together. Instead, forget about antis and boycotters for a second, we presently have to deal with solos and shippers within our fandoms, who have taken it into their own hands to redefine this chapter as a time of belligerent independence, instead of creative, and peaceful, waiting. 

I think the boys didn’t want us to try and free them from the very environment they are basically responsible for creating, I think they wanted us to still be here united in said environment, while enjoying 7 different trips along the way, but yeah, some of us completely misread the map, some of us are lost as hell within one of the 7 trips, and some other just didn’t go on the journey waiting for the boys to be back on the “initial” path.  

IT’S NOT ABOUT LIKING, IT’S ABOUT SUPPORTING

If rap is not your cup of tea, it would be ludicrous to ask you to suddenly become an aficionado. Nobody is asking that. Take for example a close friend of mine. They are an OT7 who didn’t like one of the solo albums that were released this year, regardless, they streamed it so hard you’d think the person was their fav. They might have put extra emphasis on their bias, but they were never below par when it came to all other 6 members, because they understood the assignment, and they respected the “teachers”. 

875 is a group composed of 3 rappers and 4 vocalists. Within this subdivision there are pop lovers, jazz lovers, dance lovers, alternative & indie lovers and epic production lovers. This isn’t a novelty, it’s always been like this. They’ve never hid it, it was always all out in the open, so what’s different now? Why are people acting surprised at Jin choosing the happy route or Hobi focusing on dancing? Blue Bird ARMY: “But they are also individuals, they deserve to shine in their individuality” Well, yes. But if all we do is being too busy fvcking up the only environment that allows them to freely be said individuals, where the fvck else are they going to do that?! I mean HYB3 may be the devil incarnate, but it is always better the devil you know the world out there is seriously fvcked up; SERIOUSLY FVCKED UP. 

Furthermore, let me tell you another giant problem about being a solo, shipper, or one eyed fan; you can’t see the bigger picture. The bigger picture is not important because just because it is pretty, like sure, trophies and accolades are great and all, but we are here supposedly for the music, but also because we think these 7 young men are just exquisite. Blue Bird ARMY: “And what if you think that only 1 is and the others should disappear?” And this is the part I’m gonna "spell out":

That 👏🏾, my blue birded ARMY friend, is 👏🏾 exclusively 👏🏾 your 👏🏾own 👏🏾 fvcking 👏🏾 problem 👏🏾.

Not everything is a fvcking conspiracy, the Tannies have said time and time and time again how they want to be together on stage, so what’s with all the forced narratives, uh? And you see, people who didn’t watch Suchwita wouldn’t know it, people who didn’t watch Are You Sure wouldn’t know it, people who don’t watch Run Jin wouldn’t know it, heck people who only watch their fave WEVERSE live wouldn’t know it. No matter how much you want to surround yourself of just your fave, it is fundamental to understand that this boys are surrounded by each other, because in reality, they can truly only trust the 7 of them. Period.  

So when you are blocking out Tae, because you are a jkker, know that you are also blocking out a part of jkk. When you are ignoring the rapline, because you like the maknae line only, know that you are also ignoring a part of the maknae line. When you are disrespecting 6 members because you are just a JK solo, know that you are also disrespecting JK. This is a paramount concept to understand, for real, we should never be forced to like, but we need to learn to respect and properly support, because supporting each member makes it easier to help each of them reach their goals, as they won’t have to worry about one another.

OF BEERS, LEGOS AND WHATEVER TF YOU WANT!

Now, I'm not sure what Era ARMY people are nowadays, I was today years old when I found out that there are Yoongi Incident Era ARMY like damn fam! But if you were a 2022 Festa ARMY you probably watched a WEVERSE live or two. The most memorable, to me, are probably Jungkook basically staycationing, with drinks at all, and Jimin making things out of LEGO. 

JK is the type who has nothing to hide, but at the same time will not tell you things he doesn’t want to talk about. Period. He drank in his house in front of us, did laundry in his house in front of us, watched movies in his house, cooked in his house, had guests in his house, showed us said house itself, but you know one thing he’s never shown us? Jimin in his house, yet we know for a fact JM was in his house at least twice. And it definitely wasn’t for lack of trying! The hyung line, minus Joonie, also did several lives, all very informative, some playful and carefree and then there is Joonie. His were emotionally all over the place, and we couldn’t quite understand, at the time.

What I’m trying to say here is that in everything, from their lives, to their private time, to their projects, the boys seemed to have absolute freedom in the actions and choices they made: THEY ARE BTS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! If they can’t, in SK’s entertainment who can? You see, hyb3/BH/g3ffen etc all messed up, a lot, for all of the members and that’s a fact. Some g3ffen really have no clue what the fvck they are doing, some others hyb3/BH have had a lot of other fish to fry mhj, k-media, and company, but I do believe that there never was any real malicious intent why shit where you eat??? I do think though that there was real disorganization. Why? because our boys are unprecedented.

The steps they take, the records they break, the achievements they make are all unprecedented in their environment. There is no blueprint as to how to handle a band like 875, because they are the blueprint. Hyb3 artists have much more freedom than any of the artists in the big 3 could ever wish for, or even comprehend, and this notion is completely lost with the likes of a certain girl group 🙄, like, the very fact that they can go around blabbering the way they are, is a result of the fact that they are part of a company whose environment was mostly moulded by our boys and hence allows that.

All of this is to say that if JK was drinking live, it isn’t because the managers told him to, it is because he wanted to. If JM was building lego live, it isn’t because the managers told him to, it is because he wanted to. If Jin started asking ARMY directly what they wanted him to do, it isn’t because the managers told him to, but it is because he wanted to. The most managers can currently ever wish to obtain from these boys is to please please please not spoil sh1t 🥹even that, some of our boys, struggle with, sometimes … okay, many a time 😬.

ARMY have certain expectations from the Tannies. Some Tannies do as well, and some others have no idea what to think and, once again, here is indeed where the problem lies. For example, Blue Bird ARMY: “Jin, I want you to be an actor” but Jin doesn’t want to, he’s said it so many times; so where do we go from there? You think doing PG-13 rated things is not good for JM’s image but he was comfortable only doing that at the time, because maybe he was going through he’s own private issues; so where do we go from there? And by all means I would like him to feel comfortable to express mature concept in ways other than dancing, but that would depend on him or us asking in a no-pressure, mature, manner.

I think there has to be a conversation between ARMY and the Tannies, kinda like what Jin suggested when he asked us what we wanted from us, and then it was up to him to decide, because, as the own person that he is, there are some things he doesn’t want to do acting in a k-drama and sometimes he was very happy to do participate in variety shows. It has always been about the two of us, Tannies & ARMY. It was always a love and respectful bond between the 7 of them and our fandom. But now it feels like solos and shippers are about to run a platform we never subscribed to. 

I know that Red is such a passionate color and Orange is playful as hell, Yellow is such a happy colour to me like it can do no harm! Green is so calming and pretty, Blue has depth and can be a bit scary at times, Indigo is dreamy and promising, and Violet, well violet is sexy AF. But aren’t Rainbows simply amazing? I think they are, and you can only have rainbows with all 7 colours.

Each color can exist on its own in nature, but rainbows need a space and light to be reflected on, the sky's the biggest area where you can reflect a rainbow, and just because we know the sky is not a limit for us, it doesn’t mean we are okay to ruin it. Let’s have a perfect sky ready for the boys when they come back. ARMY is the name they gave us to support and protect all 7 of them, let's find a way to unite each other again and find a new plane where we can both, Tannies & ARMY, meet once again 🙏🏾.

Always respectfully yours 💜,

Marengo.

PS - I apologies to all the other great asks as well, the cold weather makes me lazier than usual 🙇🏾‍♀️

[soraviie]

you compare yourself to him 2.txt

━ type: bts x f! reader ━ navigation ━ part I here

━ about: angst atop of angst and some fluff

━ a/n: Bacchus here is a reference to a Korean energy drink in Yoongi's part. Jimin's part is my own favourite one :)

━ previously posted on soraviii

NAMJOON: The world is...beige. Since when? Blinking away the heavy grogginess, you reach to touch the material on your face before removing it. Looking around one might think you'd slept through the whole warfare as every surface is covered in clothes. Amidst the maelstrom like a blur in the wind is Namjoon, tossing everything he could find all around. You reach to hook a finger around a silver chain necklace inexplicably dangling on a bedside lamp. You remember this one. You'd gifted him this in Tartu on a whim of being overwhelmingly lovesick for his dimples.

"Are you fleeing the country?" you rasp, voice falling gruff from the disuse. It had been...hard to talk after the gallery. Or look at yourself in the mirror. Or leave the bed.

At the sound of your voice, Namjoon whips around, accidentally pulling along with him a lightbox. Dimly you watch it clatter on the ground.

"Baby! Hello! Did you sleep well?" he asks with an eagerness of a zealous labrador and you frown.

"Well enough. Have you gone mad? Perhaps?"

He laughs as though this simple remark was the finest joke in the land.

"No, I'm very focused and logical," he chirps and your frown deepens. No way his brain was not harmed somehow. This was...suspicious to say the least.

"Listen, I'm going to be on the TV today -"

"You always are," dryly you point out but then he crawls on the bed and practically sticks his face into yours, so close you go cross-eyed.

"Make sure you watch it, okay? It'll be a live. Starts at 3."

"Okay," flustered you comply and as his breath fans your face the suspicion surges. "How many energy drinks have you had?"

"Nine!"

Your eyes pop open but you can't do much about it as he glimpsed down, finds the necklace glimmering between your fingers and lets out a jubilant cry.

"I've been looking for this thing! Thank you!" he begins leaving rushed kisses all over your face, graciously ignoring any protests. "Thank you, baby! My moon and stars!"

Was he drunk as well?

Pulling back just as haphazardly he glanced at the clock, breathing a horrified gasp.

"Oh, shit, I'm late! But the mess..." he tosses a guilty glimpse at the destroyed closet before you push him.

"I'll..I'll clean it, just go."

You had little to do anyway, not like you could go to a gallery to have worldly people fun. At that, a natural scoff worms upon your face.

"Thank you! I love you! I love you so much!" he yelps and presses himself fervently against you, capturing your lips in a sloppy, frantic kiss. The taste of energy drinks spills onto your mouth. The next you know, your boyfriend becomes Sonic and is out of the door leaving nothing but destruction in his wake.

Typical.

You're still folding some pants when reluctantly the weight of the promise burdens you too much and end up switching the TV, knowing in your heart that seeing him in his role as an idol, you'll only feel more distant. What sort of girlfriend tunes into the TV to see their boyfriend not just call them? What sort of girlfriend were you at all? You frown at the leg of the pants, bunching it in your palms before releasing it. A lame one. You were a lame girlfriend.

It couldn't be said that this interview was anything else that you hadn't seen and heard hundred times before but one thing does stick out like red in a sea of mourners. Namjoon looks like a goddamn patchwork game. You can squint and frown, an action which is done by many, including the interviewer, his band, and the camera operator probably as well. The look presented makes it seem he was blind, drunk, and high when choosing his clothes and also made that choice in a closet belonging to a crazy person. Green baggy pants, a red turtleneck, a white, little scarf, a beret and the necklace proudly laid to glisten in the middle of his chest which that turtleneck is giving it all to protect.

Was this his way of saying he needed a break?

"Uh, Namjoon, to address the uh...elephant in the room," the interviewer begins, pulling the collar of the shirt aside, under pressure to both ask and be very polite about it. "Are you experimenting with new fashion these days?"

"No," he beams back, suspiciously innocent and wide-eyed. "These are my favourite clothes! They give me comfort and remind me of being loved whenever I go."

You think back and start piecing together, a patchwork of your own if you will, that these were all things you got him. Some you had forgotten - the joke beret, the necklace but the red turtleneck was an impromptu Christmas present while the green pants he wanted but didn't have the time to go out and buy himself.

"I see," the interviewer drawls. "To segway off what you said, as k-pop idols, love is certainly a big part of your songs, may I ask how you view love on your own? Is it something you share with your image or is it completely different?"

"Well, I-" Taehyung begins but is immediately interrupted by Namjoon whose eagerness makes him look like a complete maniac. Poor Taehyung can only blink owlishly and then let the matter be.

"Thank you so much for asking! I've thought a lot about love, I always made it complicated in my head, but now I know better. Love is being understood," his eyes snap straight into the camera and you flinch as you hold eye contact. "It's to be comfortable and feeling heard. Most of the time you know people say you have to be of similar interests, that then you'll be able to bond better but that is simply not true. People are not bonded together by their diplomas, how many stamps they have on their passport or how many painting meanings they can discern."

Your cheeks flush.

"They are bonded because they share one another and that's what's important not the trivial nonsense others may push upon them. The world is made of perspectives and whenever our loved ones express their thoughts it becomes a better, more interesting place. And I think we ourselves as well. What matters is not how many, let's say, artwork meanings they get but how much of us they get."

"And do you feel..."get"?" the interviewer asks awkwardly and Namjoon splits into a broad smile.

"Very much so. I need nothing of no one else."

YOONGI: He stands there menacingly. A (not so) tall shadow cast over your bed at the very break of the dawn.

"You slept well?" he asks. Menacingly. Cause that's what he was. Menacing. Even the package in his hands is...menacing. You scurry to press yourself against the headboard. There's a determined gleam in his eye, one that says he was up to something and will see the fruits of his labour even if it kills him.

"Umm it was okay. Why are you cosplaying as the boy from the Grudge?"

He whines and the sinister aura disappears. You had hoped to avoid him for some days. Despite your best intentions, the words that you were only charity to Yoongi repeated their heinous loop over and over in your head.

"It was meant to be cute," he pouts. "Like watching over you in a guardian sort of way."

"Ended up with Brahms," you mutter and then erupt in a fit of coughs, dryness in the throat making it hard to speak.

Yoongi's face sours in an instant.

"Did you fall mute again?"

You shrug. It's easy not to talk when you don't exist. He sighs but doesn't prod, knowing full well he can't force things to be alright.

"Would you be up for dinner? A fancy one?"

You incline your head to the package and he hands it over. Inside sits dinner wear made of the finest quality.

"Why?" you rasp. "You don't usually like dressing up."

He shrugs and something about it has your eyes narrowing.

"Just wanted to do something different," he replies a bit too offhand. "Are you up to it?"

"I-" another cough interrupts the sentence and Yoongi rushes to get a glass of water. "Thank you. Okay. We can go to dinner."

Another dinner, yey, you think to yourself dryly but he seems for some reason excited and it would be no good to be a curmudgeon to him as well.

"Thank you, Bacchus," he bids softly and leans to kiss the top of your head.

You snort at the nickname.

But the dinner extravaganza didn't simply end there. With every passing second, the mystery tightened like an Agatha Christie novel. Yoongi insisted on you taking the car he ordered, tinted windows to add, to an undisclosed restaurant and with the driver oathed to not speak a word of it. Your phone he asked to shut off as well. Not put it on mute but turn it off entirely. You partially wondered if he hit a psychotic break of sorts and/or has unfortunately turned into a murderer. Mulling over the heartbreak that would be if your honey boy would turn into a killer, you were stunned to see a familiar face when climbing out of the car. Your mother.

"Mom? What are you doing here?"

She was dressed to the nines as well and seemed rather shocked to see you climbing out of the car. Around her neck sat a pearl necklace one you don't recall her having and she was nervously twiddling with it in front of the restaurant's host. A restaurant that you very purposefully avoided as one of its managers was none other than that annoying, grating, stick-so-far-up-her-ass-its-practically-impaling-her cousin of yours.

"I don't know," she replied, glancing around. "Your boyfriend asked me to be here."

Before you could answer anything, the host urged you to enter into a private area as was the case when you dined with someone who needed absolute security at all times. The group wasn't all that large, consisting of yourself, your mother, your aunt, the aunt who wasn't as cool as the first one her weird husband and their dog even, who was sporting a fancy bowtie for the occasion. By the table sat Yoongi and though many would say he appeared stoic you knew exactly what that sly, scheming son of a biscuit had done this evening. He raised to stand, politely bid welcome to all your relations who as always didn't know how to act so they settled on an ungainly silence, and then gave you flowers before kissing your cheek. By the bar, her eyes glinting like two wildfires, sat your cousin gurgling her own poison most likely.

"I'm so going to choke you for this," you discreetly whisper into his ear but he only smiles.

With alcohol loosening much of the knotted tongues, the dinner progressed smoothly. Yoongi occasionally coquettishly leaned in, so unlike him, and brushed his nose against your cheek. All, of course, a part of an elaborate apology.

"But you were afraid of my mother," you argue, walking hand in hand back home. Where your cousin went you did not know but it was unlikely she would be present at the next meeting.

"Still am," he chuckles but even then there is an undercurrent of fright running deep. "But after you hung up I called her and she relayed that you looked like a ghost for the rest of the evening. And I know I said this a thousand times but I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not always there for you, I'm sorry for being absent, I'm sorry if anyone ever made you feel like you're invisible," he sighed, stretching he tie looser from his neck and you adjusted his hair, mussed by a strong gust of wind.

"Still you don't need to do all that," softly you say. "It's enough for you to just show up sometimes and be awkward in the corner."

"I know," he kisses the top of your head pushing the doors open. "Just wanted to show that you're the only one I see."

JIN: In a fashion that probably millions of other people did before him he pretended everything was fine. That it was all fine. What was it? Fine. Normal. Nothing was happening. Everything's usual. The same old. And then he cried in the bathroom stall for ten minutes, before forcing it to all stop and pretending that it was all fine.

But as your things became scarcer and two lives that he meant to unite forever were separated, clinically and detached like a scalpel of a surgeon, the less he could pretend it was fine.

It wasn't fine. It was over.

Jin was never one for relationship theatrics to say that his life was over as well but now he realized that it was - the life he wanted at least and possibly could have had in the future - was dust.

But there is some truth to the idea that sometimes loving someone was leaving them, letting them go in a wind, like a migrating bird, away from the winter of discontent and into the summer of ease.

And you assure him it's nothing he had done. Perhaps that's the most infuriating part, it's nothing he'd done so he can't correct, he can't change the world for you even if he wants to oh so bad. But harder still is to watch, watch you be a hollow shell, driven to a point of insecurity so high you ill. No jokes of his, no smiles, no well-meaning words of his can change the sentiment.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't handle the world you live in."

Even if he wouldn't be an idol, it's a world Jin has always lived in. He knows how to not buckle underneath the waves of judgment cause he had swum in them since but a bare-bottomed infant.

"You can always crash here or call me if you need help," he offers, trying to sound as light as possible while helping you pack the last boxes. Such a strange thing to help the love of your life leave you but despite all Jin has always wanted to take care. So he takes care one last time.

"That's not how it works," you laugh. It's dry and humourless and he wonders how long will it take for you to move on. The love is not lost it just couldn't conquer all as lovely as that would be.

"Yeah, I guess so," he scuffs his slipper against the floor. The home is empty now. It feels physically wrong and Jin hopes to himself this would all be a bad dream. That this is the same night he got you from the police station and this was a concoction of the mind, wormed and plagued by guilt.

"Eat well, okay," he reminds. There's so much he wants to say but he lets himself choke on those words. Why? He doesn't quite know but the last thing he wants to do is make you feel any worse. That's not what a good partner does. Even if he's soon to not be one.

"I will," you promise. "Remember to stretch once in a while, you play too many video games, they can make your muscles tense."

He doesn't trust his voice so Jin nods. And just like that, it's over. A thirty-second walk to the elevator is all he gets instead of a whole life he'd been so certain of. But even now he thinks that better you be happy than miserable by his side. The elevator dings and he's buying seconds, he would put his entire fortune for just a minute.

"Where will you be travelling exactly?" he asks.

"I don't know. Somewhere warm, somewhere cold. Find myself again," you reply, pretending it's all fine as well. If you acknowledge the reality for just a second, you'll break and so you delude yourself. For just a bit.

Jin nearly says to send him a lot of videos but then bites on his tongue. The elevator opens and you climb in, a suitcase behind you, a carton box in the crook of your arm. Jin smiles.

"You know, life is strange. Should we suddenly cross paths five years later who knows how it'll turn out, right?"

It's, of course, a hopeful delusion, a length of rope many have tied around their necks with a smile on their face but he can't stop. He doesn't want to stop. If the movie has a hopeful ending, it's a love story, if not - it's a tragedy and Jin was never one for tragedies.

Be that as it may, you open your mouth to say something, anything, but the elevator closes and the rest is silence.

HOSEOK: He glowers. Hoseok is not known for glowering but he does so to his earnest. The foot tapping the floor nearly makes a dent in the material as he waits. Waits for you like a disappointed parent or a hunter lying in an ambush. Hoseok himself doesn't particularly care what he is as long as he gets what he wants which is you at home.

She's not cheating, she would never cheat, he tells himself but isn't that what all poor bastards of the world thought. The hallway is dark and you stumble freely, assuming he's not here and then nearly crack your skull open when seeing him stand stoic like a statue in the dark.

"Fucking hell!" you yell and he jumps, somehow startling himself by the loudness of your voice.

"Welcome back," he greets you cooly, turning on the lights. "Hoped I was out?"

You stand squirming in guilt and avoiding his gaze exactly like a cheater would but there's no cologne on your blouse or a hickey on the neck. The only thing you carried was a plastic bag with snacks. Cheap, cheap snacks.

He takes it away from your hands and peers inside. Ramen, cotton buds, chocolate chips, and seaweed for some reason.

"I don't understand," he breathes out. "You're...all this time...every time you're not home you're doing grocery shopping?"

You don't answer anything and his brows furrow in confusion.

"_____________, I don't understand. Please, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing wrong per se," you brush off. "It's just I..."

"I?" he urges.

"It's where I feel like I belong."

For a while, he leans into the wall and then it clicks together.

The store was perhaps the most normal thing possible with people going about their day, hardly any limelight. Hardly any luxury.

"You're with me, I love you," he sighs. "My world is your world."

"Yeah," you brush off, clearly lying. "I know."

And perhaps it's the stress or perhaps the fierceness with which he's ready to tie himself to you, a move he never thought he could wholeheartedly make, he has none of it. Which brings him back to a party, one in his name once more just a tad more covert.

"I don't know about this," you stammer, trying to pull your hand away from his.

"Just trust me. Don't you trust me?"

"Not with that tone," you whine crossing the street. "Listen, I'm happy your album is a success, couldn't be prouder -"

Hoseok's ears flush to this day when hearing any praise from your mouth.

"Thank you."

"- but you can, you know, have fun and I'll chill out somewhere else."

He whips around.

"Is it something someone said?" he confronts and you awkwardly glance away.

"They don't need to say it, it's apparent. I'm sticking out like a sore thumb in these places."

"I don't care for them and neither should you! If these parties are about me, then you should always be a part of them. I invite all the guys, all the time -"

"Yeah, you all work in the same field," you roll your eyes and he lightly flicks your forehead.

"Dummy, they're my family, you're my family and my family is with me in celebrations."

You gaze at your intertwined hands.

"Obviously, I can't and shouldn't force you to be here but trust me and maybe I can make you feel a little bit better."

You draw a heavy sigh, bemoaning to yourself about the sacrifices of love and with gritted teeth step into the enemy territory. It's loud and bright with many strangers surrounding you like flies around honey. You notice Jin and Jungkook tucked away neatly in the corner and they offer knowing nods of the head. You frown at them and turn to the stage where there's a podium and a magnificent chair like a throne behind it. Hoseok sits you, confused, down in it, sort of in the background but always present like an overarching symbolic presence and if people look then even faster they swerve away in guilt. Hoseok's smile is bright and polite but there is no question about it that the line "let's be friendly" means no one so much as opens their mouth to toss a curt comment or swerve their eye your way in an inappropriate manner. In between Hoseok frequently checking back and Jin pulling you into a nameless 1v1 phone game, you forget of the crowd, their judgement and your need for their opinion. Whenever you glance up, Hoseok is there giving an encouraging smile and you realize the one opinion that matters the most will never waver from always being in your favour.

JIMIN: The money spilt all across the counter as Mari yelped, startled when the door was simply kicked open.

"I-I'm sorry but we're clo-"

"What is this?" Jimin's voice comes with a sharpness you'd never ever heard before. It makes you swallow nervously, eyes lingering on the paper slip clutched in his palm.

"I...I explained what it is," you squirm anxiously and Mari's head is a blur, switching to left and fro in between you both.

"We..we have to keep closing," she whimpers, shrivelled small by the register squeaking in a barely audible tone.

Jimin's eyes snap towards her and she immediately withers underneath his rage.

"Just go home," you order her, tired, and she doesn't have to be told twice. Only a second passes before she's scurrying to the door. Momentarily, you can see that she recognizes the masked stranger but that makes her eyes only hang lower as she desperately tries to not be remembered, probably counting the sum of his displeasure in her head. When the bell rings to announce her exit, the air presses down with tension.

You twist the towel in your hands, pulling a deep breath to speak a string of words that cut your heart open.

"Jimin, I want...I want to break up."

"No."

A pause.

"No?" stunned, you echo.

"I'm not breaking up with you."

He has pulled the mask off his face and his eyes are crazy. They're rimmed red. He's been crying.

"You can't just -" you begin to object but he quickly interrupts.

"Do you still love me?"

The question takes you by surprise but he's not content with silence.

"Do you still love me?" he reiterates with more strength and you nod, voice catching in the throat.

"I do, but -"

"When we got together I said it would be hard but we promised, you promised that we would work through our problems together."

"I'm sorry," you murmur.

"Not accepted," Jimin snaps and you flinch. "What was this - "I'm sure in time you'll find yourself a more appropriate partner with whom you'll feel happier." With all due respect, ______________, you do not get to dictate what or to whom I should feel something. I'm dating you because I want you, not a model, not an idol or whoever you think is "good" for me. I want you."

"But what if I begin to resent you?" glaring at your shoes you listlessly argue but Jimin's face doesn't differ from the hard scowl with which he barged here into.

"I'm not going to part with the love of my life on a what if," he sneered throwing your breakup letter decidedly into the trash.

"But I'll just be a burden-!"

"Oh for the love of!" he throws his hands into the air. "You're not a burden for asking my help. I want to do it, you understand? Me! I want to help you, I want to provide for you, that's what I want not what you force me to do," completely worked himself into a heated tirade, he barely took a breath before pelting the words one after another like hail upon your shoulders.

"We're going to go home, talk about our problems and then live happily ever after, god fucking damnit!"

You stand mutely, hunched in yourself quite like a berated kid. Exhaling slowly through the nose, Jimin's rage seems to abate, if a little bit, and for a lingering pause, there's only the rhythmic ticking of the wall clock filling the air.

"I still need to close," you shuffle, sensing the familiar sting in the eyes.

"Fill out the documents," he replies stiffly but at least not sneering anymore. "I'll do the rest. You must be tired."

You comply without a question sitting down to fill out the proper numbers. Jimin's ensnared with dusting the countertops, mopping the floor, and gathering the trash. An unsightly, lowly work that a national star like him shouldn't be doing but he does. He does it all.

TAEHYUNG: He keeps thinking that it can't simply end like that - on a slammed door in the silence. But it does. It's inevitable like seeing your favourite movie with a sad ending over and over again, always hoping that the familiar reel will somehow change, that the world will be a better place than it is but the movie is set and the ending is set and everything is set in stone. Taehyung's role is set to play the irredeemable villain and be ruined by his own actions.

"This..you know...big city...but lovers find their way," he slurs in a bar with only Jimin to keep tabs on him. He's angry, untalkative and quite upset as Taehyung lost the love of his life and he lost a good friend all in one fell swoop. It's only because of Jimin's curt text of "way to miss your girlfriend's birthday, prick" that he came to his senses. He'd rushed home all at once though it did no good. The apartment was empty, the neighbours vouched for you moving out and in the trash, he found a single, crumpled note. It began and ended with only one word - V. Not Taehyung the one he's always been to you but V. There was nothing after it but he kept it still.

"Lovers...they find each other in every life right?" he asks but Jimin remains obstinately quiet yet when comes the time to weep he reaches out to pat his friend's back.

"It's just a scarf!" he yells into the stylist's face. "It's just a scarf! What's the big deal? It fits the theme, right? Just let me keep it!"

Namjoon having rushed to the room inspects this strange friend of his, backed into the corner with an expression so vicious he fails to recognize him. He doesn't know what happened but he knows the way Taehyung hugs the scarf to his chest, to protect, to cradle it like a kindling flame. He knows grief when he sees one.

"Just leave him alone," he orders the stylist and Taehyung is let on the stage with a scarf on his neck, one he doesn't stop touching throughout the entirety of the event. It was the only thing left besides the note, otherwise, you'd been very thorough, combing your life free of him in all conceivable ways. World as always goes on and Taehyung hates it for it doing so. Rather it'd stop, rather it stand completely still so he can mould himself into time itself and stop existing. He sees fractures of you in scenarios of happy strangers, of hands intertwined and smiles shared, a life lived together as he always wanted to. He intended to with such certainty it's like the very basis underneath his feet is crushed. He never assumed it'd go so wrong.

Largely he keeps this obsession to himself, of fear of being judged, of being called crazy, only Jimin knows and in his neverending love for his friend, he tolerates it. Partially in the happier moments, Taehyung tries to romanticize the situation. In any good love story, one person meets another and they are split apart by circumstance only to end up together. Forgiveness always wins and love prevails. That's what he was told since being a baby. This was...this was his term of punishment, a way to apologize for his actions but nothing of the sort is of course real. The reality which Taehyung was never too fond of was much more sterner and cutthroat. You didn't love him anymore = you left. The End.

The End.

He lives in dreams and he lives in love that now is just an echo.

But the wronger still comes the day when your scarf splits at the seams. It can't be fixed, it can't be brought back, it's just ruined and gone and it sits in Taehyung's hands - useless. Still, he shoves the threads in his pocket, fully aware that there was a line, a fine line to be drawn but he can't bring himself to draw it. If he stops hoping, just for a second, his movie will end like it was always meant to be.

JUNGKOOK: "Please come home."

"No."

The begging had been going on for almost half an hour. Both attempts were fruitless, his - to get you back, yours - to get him to leave.

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't accidentally step on my foot! You told me my entire life is useless. That I'm wrong for being not like you."

He licks his dry lips and runs a hand through the messed-up hair. Unwillingly, you notice that his knuckles were faintly bleeding. The temperature had dropped suddenly overnight. He must have forgotten to lotion them. Not that it mattered now. Though he had quite a lot to argue about that.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what I said. I was stupid, petulant and..." he sighs, staring at the floor. "Jealous."

"Over what?" you tilt an eyebrow.

"Yoongi. You get along with Yoongi. He gets you and I was scared so I lashed out."

"It's not an excuse," listlessly, you frown at his figure lodged halfway into your friend's apartment. A safe haven, he somehow managed to find out about. One couldn't argue with how driven Jungkook was. A quality you did not appreciate much right now.

"What do you want here? That I'll spring back into your arms, magically find some sort of passion and suck you off in gratitude?!"

"No!" he objects. "No! It's not like that!"

"Then explain! Explain for us lowly, dispassionate losers what is this all about?!"

He begins to twiddle with his thumbs, tongue playing with the back of his lip ring. It wasn't often that a 1.79m, tattoed muscle mass known as Jeon Jungkook could possibly appear small but he appeared as such in this very moment.

"I just want you back. Want to eat my words," when you open your mouth to tear him a new one, he hurries faster. "But I know I can't. So I am asking, I'm begging to give me a chance. Not forgiveness, just a chance to start over. As...friends...if you'd like. I'll get to know you anew, open mind this time. Be as you are. That's all I'm asking."

"Friends?" you parrot, part scornful, part impressed. He used to drone on and on about how he always wanted to be more than friends, how that name was like a lightless void to him, an unshakeable role in the distance he was desperate to breach so to hear him offer that very role so eagerly was if anything a symbol of truly wanting to listen. If he could be trusted.

You assess him sternly, tucking away the feeling of a girlfriend far way.

"If we do it, if!" you emphasize yet his eyes gain a hopeful tint. Retribution. "I want to be able to cut ties without you throwing a fit, tracking me down and doing this because this," you wave over his crouched figure. "Is not cute. It's annoying. One strike and you're out! And we start as friends!"

He's not deterred in the slightest on the opposite his face is glowing.

"I'll get to know you as I should have," he promises. "No judgement."

You let out a prolonged, irritated sigh.

"I hate you."

"I don't," he replies, nose scrunched in happiness. "Not in the slightest."

© soraviii/soraviiie 2022-23

[joyswonderland1108]

Please take time to read this

Hello, i’m ranting again but ffs Army are infuriating i simply cannot.. I’m making this post for my queer people but also for my non-queer people but who support the LGBTQ community. Again sometimes i’m really bad with words, i really don’t know how to put shit out there correctly but please bear with me. 

So i’ve been on tiktok and that lovely girlie’s video popped up on my fyp (the same girlie i posted yesterday), basically the caption on the video was “Me watching homophobic “armys” throwing a fit bc queer armys find comfort in Jimin’s queercoded lyrics”, me being me i checked the comments and i come across shit like this 

The way people are so very against any of BTS members being anything but straight and like to throw the “don’t assume” stupid comment, that “they never came out” “they never said it themselves” yada yada, bitch do you even know what queer coded means? Do you know what a code means to begin with? 

People seem to forget that these men are in an environment that doesn’t allow them to just “come out” they can’t just fucking shout to the world that they’re fucking gay Patricia! 

 It’s the fact that Jimin has been dropping hints here and there to HOPEFULLY people can understand, can get the fucking message, but people are still out there wanting him to just say it as it is, they don’t understand the effort it take to fucking come out in a homophobic country in a God forsaken industry with entitled fans who can’t accept idols being non-hetero. 

It’s like people are trying their best to break Jimin’s effort in trying to “set himself free” as he fucking just said from all this bullshit, from holding back, from “HIDING” bitch he literally said that wtf do you think he’s hiding from? The monster under his bed? The muffin man in his closet? Wake the fuck up! You’re stanning a man but refuse to understand him, refuse to give him a chance to express himself without having to put himself in a tough position.

I remember sharing before this one video from a tiktoker who made a joke about how queer celebrities deal with dating questions when they didn’t necessarily come out or weren’t intending to but still were trying to drop hints :

(Matt Taylor)

It is already hard enough for queer people to be accepted in this society and people keep on making it harder for them. People saying that your own personal interpretation shouldn’t be imposed on what Jimin means, if y’all keep on acting this way when the fuck are we ever going to understand him? Are we always going to put his efforts in vain? That man simply CANNOT COME OUT and you know what? He doesn’t HAVE to either, why tf do people think he will just trust such an entitled fandom to come out to them? 

Bitches be really quick to deny the fact that they’re simply homophobic but Jan, could you please enlighten me on why tf do you get so fucking defensive whenever anyone mentions the possibility of any of these men being queer? Them assholes aren’t even ready to accept that Yoongi, the man who ACTUALLY said it, is queer let alone making effort to understand Jimin. 

I won’t say this enough, i will obviously not repeat it enough but THIS is why Yoongi said that FANS, MOTHERFUCKING FANS will understand not Army cause y’all only hold the fandom’s name nothing more. So fucking entitled and want everything handed to them on a silver plate. Now the narrative is that queer people aren’t “supposed to look a certain way” aka members who look “manly” are surely not queer. Yesterday again i came across a tiktok of a dude doing a prank to his BOYFRIEND, here’s what they look like : 

Now don’t bullshit me on “this is not what i mean when i say manly” cause i know perfectly that this is the exact image some people picture in their head for how men looking like that can’t be gay. You want Jimin to feel comfortable enough to come live often, to share things with us, to see him perform, bla bla bla but how tf can he be comfortable with your sick asses when he can’t even be given a chance to be understood, to not put him under the projector? 

People assume that you just gotta tell the world about your sexuality and that’s it, easy peasy lemon squeezy, such a happy world and everybody will be accepting yey

You don’t know the struggle of fighting to let yourself known to others without being put in a risky situation as a common person let alone as a celebrity in a very unforgiving industry, people tend to forget that it can be career threatening, so just for your own comfort you’ll have these men risking everything just so you can have that verbal validation? 

I’m going back to the term “Queer coded” It’s called that way because there are “CODES” used by a person to hint to their sexuality and if your illiterate asses could spare 5 mins to google what that means y’all would’ve been 10 times smarter. 

If you can’t support Jimin, or any member really, the right way, please see yourself out these 7 men really don’t need no more of these people as part of this fandom, it’s already hard with straight up haters and now they have to deal with supposed “fans” who can’t do shit correctly. 

So please for my queer people, let's do our best to support and let our boy know that we understand we get it and we are sending him all of our love and for people who support the community and still understood Jimin and are supporting as well, thank you, thank you so much for being amazing, thank You.

[jung-koook]

Hot take: Jungkooks Alternate version without harlows rap is the best version. Jungkook killed 3D. That is the worst rap I've heard from Harlow and considering he did a good job in lil naz s feature I was super disappointed. Also his lyrics were creepy. The only good line was the I am on that Jungkook. I am hoping in his album we just get Jungkookie no features (unless it's ot7 yoongi jimin ect.).

I'll be honest with you. I didn't like the version with jack harlow either but I really like the alternate version. I like mainstream pop music and that's what jeongguk has always liked too and that's what he's going after now. I'm literally in love with the 3d choreo and his adlibs there. I'm very eclectic, musically as in other things. I'm a person who likes rap/hiphop music too and you know that this genre is not so respectful towards women most of the time, so sometimes I listen to songs that I don't agree with the lyrics but I listen to them because sonically I like them. so for me it's really that I didn't like his rap that much but I don't think it's the worst thing I've heard in a song.

but I had to stay quiet about this subject "3d" because I'm physically and emotionally exhausted with everything that's been happening with jeongguk. It's disgusting, it's disturbing what people are doing to jeongguk. I'm stressed and mad. and every time I get angry and want to say something or reply to something I need to take a deep breath and not bring attention to negative things. I just report whenever I have time and I ask you armys to do that too. please stop paying attention to these people just report them to bighit! please! I think people are using 3d and this new phase of jeongguk to show how much they never liked him. most of the time, it's literally because jeongguk got tired of living for these people who call themselves his "fans" and who never saw him as a human being but a doll. jeongguk decided to live for himself. doing what he wants with his life and his songs. being a fan is not about loving everything your artist does or releases, no. It's okay, you don't like the music he's been releasing. but people crossed the line. people are criticizing things and doing things that have nothing to do with being someone's fan. jeongguk is here for us as an artist, jeongguk says he is here for us as our "best friend" but as an artist who wants fans to respect him as a human being too! however, this never gave people the freedom to cross the line and interfere in his personal and private life. and the fact that all members have already shown that they KNOW everything that people are talking about them, no matter if it is in south korea, japan or anywhere else in the world. they know what people are talking about them. the fact that I know this makes me even madder. jeongguk already said that he knows he would receive negative and positive reactions with his solo. he was already expecting that, but people ended up crossing that limit into something increasingly worse. I just hope he's okay and that he doesn't watch what these disgusting people are doing on the internet. and that he's with people he loves beside him and that he's focusing on the positive things that his solo is bringing to him, that he's archiving with all of his success. constructive criticism is always good especially from fans as singing artists also sing for their fans, but disgusting people are crossing the limits.

in his interview here, I didn't quite understand if he was referring to the old songs or the new ones on his album, but he mentioned namjoon and I think there's a chance that namjoon will be part of his album at least for something like producing or writing? 👀

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP I love Jimin but the autotune is bad. 😔 I don't know how to feel about it. I wish Jimin did a song like Promise or Serendipity it wld be better for more people right? I hate how pdogg ruined Jimin's debut. We should admit it. Nobody is even streaming it on youtube. Armys are pretending it's a good song but kpop fans are right BPP, the song is bad.

*

Ask 2:

Hi BPP,

I hope you are well.

I have read and continue to read your blog. You seem to think so highly of the rap line which is wonderful. My post isn't about them but I do like them more than the vocal line. Please note I am not trying to be negative with my question below. I am more curious because this has been observation lately..

I am not trying to be negative but I was wondering if you could help me understand this. Being in K-pop for a while, I knew I would come across BTS at one stage in my life. I have always known they are popular. I would have to be living under the rock to think otherwise. But one thing I have always heard is a discourse around Jimins popularity. Even before I got into BTS, I would hear Jimins name thrown here and there. I knew BTS had a guy named Jimin but recently I have been thinking that perhaps he isn't as popular as I had assumed. I would have thought his music video would garner million and millions of views easily but it's not even at 15 mil. How could that be? Similarly, people aren't purchasing his songs on iTunes. I see people begging them to buy the songs on twitter. My understanding was that he is the most popular member of BTS but looking at his views compared to the rest of the members, I am thinking he is on the lower side of popularity. I am surprised to be honest. I know popularity doesn't mean everything but wouldn't he need that to be a successful artist outside of BTS?

I am also not sure if the new song is good. The autotune feels too jarring. The video is nice but the song in itself doesn't do it for me. I would have really liked to minimise autotune. It would have also been nicer if his song was more on the lines of lie. I feel there is too much focus on visual representation rather than the quality of the song. People will listen to the song more than watch the video so it's disappointing. It's also not doing that well. I mean Taylor's re-released songs are beating him already. I am worried his album won't be successful. I was hoping they would use this solo era to gather more fans but I don't see how Jimin could possibly garner more fans with a song thats so jarring to listen to.

***

Sigh, y'all should never say I didn't allow room for other perspectives in this space because I'm humoring this talking point far longer than I honestly care for. Not trying to be rude, just honest.

Hi Anon(s),

So... um, let's see. Please remember y'all are talking to someone who thinks UGH is the best song in BTS's discography. My playlist order for Set Me Free Pt 2 is:

Arson -> SMF Pt 2 -> UGH -> What Do You Think? -> SMF Pt 2

I mix it up with As I Am by JB and Khalid, Indigo, NewJeans, On The Street, and Smoke Sprite. For playlist switches I rotate between rock albums, hiphop, and lofi.

So, that's my taste. Usually.

What do you notice in all the songs in the first sequence? Think about it for a sec. With the exception of What Do You Think? to some degree, they all use autotune. A disgusting amount of it, and I love those songs so hard I would fuck them if I could.

I'm not sure if people understand what I mean when I say I'm a fan of BTS's music, that I'm an ARMY. I mean I actually love their sound and have reached this conclusion recently after following them since 2014. So PDogg's stylistic choices are ones I like most times.

Yoongi and Jimin are very similar. In my opinion. And there is no member who embraces autotune and pitch distortion more than Yoongi. He is also the only member who blatantly and unapologetically displays his alter-ego in his music - in Agust D - and that's not a coincidence. Jimin does the same thing or at least tries to create the same effect in SMF Pt 2 by using autotune. Pitch distortion is the easiest way to other yourself in a song, to create a secondary personality. Tyler Joseph does this a lot with a shadow personality within himself that he calls Blurryface in his music. Jimin in SMF Pt 2 is done playing games. That man has rage buried inside of him and somehow, he has transcended it. Yet he expresses that rage in his first song as a solo artist, through a secondary voice. The one that voices the animal in him. That Jimin is telling y'all to come correct or fuck off. And he calls out his opps. Yeah, his opps. It's Aave and yes it's sometimes unfortunate when k-pop idols use it, but sometimes it's not. Think of 'finna'. And none of the people up in arms about Jimin using that word give a rats ass that XG, a rookie group, have used it more often than Jimin to no issue, but yeah it's impossible for the idol so targeted by death threats the Texas police got involved, to say he's got opps. But I don't really care either way.

I digress. My point is the audacious and offensive use of autotune is the point in the song. It's aggressive. It's supposed to annoy you and if you happen to be a weirdo like me, it's supposed to tickle your brain. Like, this song seriously has me fucked up. I like it a lot and it's just a testament to years of discipline that I'm not looping it on Spotify.

Anon in ask 1, it's possible Jimin would reach a wider audience with a ballad, pop track like Promise/Serendipity, or a more conventional hiphop song. I'm sure he thinks so too, maybe. And yet that's not how he wanted to express himself. He chose the harsh autotune and I happen to think he sounds incredible with it.

Now Anon in ask 2, Jimin is one of the most popular members in BTS, and BTS is of course still popular. We both know that. But it's also true BTS has become less popular within k-pop spaces in general, but that's predictable given how the industry runs, and it's possible that was all you were experiencing Anon - an environment where BTS and by extension Jimin, just isn't that popular.

If that were even possible. Because like, this is Park Jimin we're talking about here.

For the people apparently begging others to buy the album, I guess they are simply people who strongly want Jimin to do well on the charts and are trying everything in their power to make it happen. I'm yet to see any of that personally though on my side of ARMY twt, what I'm seeing is organized and spontaneous purchases done out of love for the artist and his art.

*

You both mention YouTube views/streams so let me just say something on it. Personally, I don't care. I mean I care enough that we at least try to meet the goals and I genuinely love the video so I've watched it multiple times today, but not really beyond that. All this to express the extent of my interest in this matter. But even I know YouTube changed their view-counting algorithm in 2021 to increase a migration of users to their paid platform, YouTube Premium. Views today are harder to count and so one way k-pop agencies have worked around to gaining views, is to buy ads on YouTube. Perhaps it would be great if BigHit was as involved as other agencies in helping that way, but they haven't been so far except for the Pandemic English Trilogy (PET), and ARMY has more reason to stay engaged. All this to say, the views we currently have are one of the best records the fandom has ever achieved for BTS, no matter how it stacks up to the others because there are too many people who love SMF Pt 2, are talking about it, re-watching it, too many of them to not be significant enough. For YouTube we're doing fine and enjoying it at our pace.

Also I don't know what y'all want me to say about how a white American woman performs on US charts, relative to BTS members. I'm curious, did you check for their relative performance on Korean charts? Since you're so interested in the question.

You don't need to be worried about Jimin's album not being successful. It already is.

[fearlessword]

I’ll meet you in my dreams - Chapter 2

Summary: You dreamed of the boy who played piano before you knew who he was. Humming the melodies you heard in your sleep brought BTS into your life and you thought it was just meant to be.When you finally have the chance to see him perform live, you realize that the dreams you have are more than a coincidence. You hope he dreams of you too.

Slow burn/ Slow build/ canon divergence/ d-day tour / soulmate- ish

Pairing: Idol! Min Yoongi x Reader

Ongoing

Masterlist

Author’s note: Hi tumblr! I’ve been wanting to post this fic here for such a long time! Seriously! I can’t believe I actually did it! I’m so excited for you to read this chapter! I post on AO3 first, but it’s nice to share my work on this platform too! Please send me your thoughts on this chapter, I’d love to hear it. I’ll come back in a few days with chapter 3, but if you want to read it before that, you can find it here. I hope you like it! Thank you for being here!

Chapter 2

February 2023

“…So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this, and this gives life to thee…” you read.

“This is one of my favorites, and one of the most famous Shakespearean sonnets. You guys already know how much I love words but in this sonnet…” you pause with a sigh. “I feel so happy reading it, it took Shakespeare only 14 verses to explain how powerful and everlasting words are. Can you imagine how extraordinary it would feel to be the muse of a piece of work like this? I don’t want to go crazy over this, but how beautiful is that? And to see that he was indeed right, the poem does give life to his beloved muse, it makes me want to cry. How beautiful is that? Just think about it?!”

“Ms. _______, you are fangirling over poetry again” one of the students says.

“Well, it is my profession after all! I am also a fan of so many things, it’s the way I function!” You laugh. “But you guys need to agree, it’s beautiful. You should think about writing a sonnet like this to your Valentines next year… Does anyone want to comment on their first impressions of this piece before we go deep into our analysis?”

The students were ready to give their opinions when the bell rang, announcing your lesson was over and stopping the discussion from happening. The backpacks and chairs in the classroom combined in a messy, hustled melody created by your high schoolers. It was the end of the school day, after all.

“ Well, it’s nice to end the day with a hook. Please read Sonnet 18 one more time and write a short comment about it in your reading journals. We’ll discuss it in the next class. Enjoy your Valentine’s day, everybody!”

One by one, the students left the room, leaving you alone with the mess of the classroom. As usual, you organized the desks and chairs for the next day, erased the white board, turned the electronics off and put away all of the supplies in the cabinet. You only left out your pencil case and the piles of assignments to grade. It was Tuesday, but the faster you start grading, the easier your Friday will be. Even though being a teacher means that you eventually (or always) take work home, you made yourself a rule that you’d avoid working during your weekends. Also, no teacher wants to grade anything on a Friday afternoon. It’s not like you have anything to do on Valentine’s day, either way.

You directed your attention to the desk and a huff left your body as you thought about the few hours of unpaid work you had ahead of you. You didn’t know if the gray Tuesday made your situation worse or better. You tried to see it with a positive attitude: at least you wouldn't spend the next few hours inside, admiring a perfect sunny day through the windows of your classroom.

Before sitting down to start grading, you got your phone and your airpods in your bag, you didn’t bother to turn the airplane mode off, and, to be honest, that was probably the best option if you wanted to really focus on your work. A playlist of your favorite songs is the one selected for the occasion. You put your phone away, grab your green pen and start.

When The Truth Untold started, you were halfway through grading. You couldn’t help thinking of how unlucky you were. BTS came into your life only during the pandemic, which meant no concerts, but lots of content and late night meme videos and Korean lessons that distracted and helped you when you needed the most. When the concerts finally happened in the US, you were out of the country to complete part of your Masters in Literature in England. It was more than a dream come true, from visits to the Globe to visits to the lakes and all of the places your favorite authors and characters saw long before. It felt bittersweet. The timing was just wrong, and now, it felt like the chances of seeing all seven of them just escaped through your fingers. All you could do was wait. Wait until the seven of them come back, and trust them. It was hard, but was there another option?

Just fans understand how hard it is.

Alright, you need to focus on the grading.

The playlist kept going as you corrected and graded and wrote comments in each of the papers, carefully analyzing the work of your students. Every once in a while, you’d laugh at how they expressed their opinions on their essays. How fun their snarky comments were! The piles of paper were organized into folders. Thankfully, in less than three hours, the work was finally done, (until the next time, which will probably happen sooner than what you want.) It’s half of the week, and finally time to go home.

Winter was unusually warm this year. Still, the short walk from the school to the subway station felt longer because of the cold air. It wasn’t too cold, but it wasn’t comfortable either. The hot mass of air that embraces you as you enter the station is welcomed, at least during the colder seasons. The station was packed, it’s always a struggle when it’s peak time, but on days like this, when the busy people of the city go out to dinner to celebrate the existence of their love life, it is just the worst. When the train came, you found a spot where you could stay, close enough to the door so you could leave it three stations later.

You hope there is a seat for you in the Q train that will take you to Brooklyn. Deep down, you know it’s hopeless. At 6 pm Times Square station is filled with both New Yorkers and tourists. You could differentiate them easily, from their clothes to the kind of demeanor they have. The empty eyes were usually the giveaway whether someone was a New Yorker or not. You hoped you had the same curious eyes you had when you first moved to NYC for college, but you understand that, as much as you love the city and all it means to you and your journey, routine takes some of the magic away. Right now, you bet your face gives away your exhaustion too, if there’s someone watching you, you’re sure they know you live here.

People watching was your favorite pastime during your commuting time: imagining what each one of those people was like, their dreams and hopes, if they had any. Today, you could see a considerable amount of bouquets in the train, and it makes your imagination go wild imagining what expects these people once they get to their destination. You try not to get caught while you look at them for the next 30 minutes, then, you leave the train and walk home.

You were fumbling in your bag in a failed attempt to find your keys when the door of your apartment slammed opened.

“Where the hell were you?” Your roommate demanded.

“At the school, Cami.” You answered as you took your shoes off and went inside.

“ Why weren’t you answering your phone? I called so many times.”

“I was grading papers”

“On Valentine’s Day?”

“It’s not like I have a date”

“______ you seriously need to do a better job at answering your phone” she huffed. “I was freaking out here”

“Is everything okay? Are you okay? Is my family okay? It was in airplane mode and I just didn’t care to check it after I left the classroom.”

“Everybody is okay. Well, emotionally I’m definitely not okay. I’ve been freaking out here since I got home from work. Seriously, we need to communicate better so we can actually leave school together, we can grade here! Why do you have to stay there so late anyways? I needed to talk to you and You. Weren’t. Answering.” She paused. “Why am I freaking out? It’s not like it’s something I care about. Oh my God! Maybe I care about it because you care about it." Camila pointed at you. "What is happening to me?! Am I literally freaking out on Valentine’s day because of a tour of a guy that I’m not even interested in? I promise I won’t be alone for Valentine's day next year, I need a date to look forward to instead of getting crazy over a K-pop man. This is the worst day of my life!” Camila rambled while pacing in the living room

“Did you say tour?”

“Seriously? That’s all you heard?!”

“You were saying so many things”

“Alright, sit, and please, I am begging you to turn the airplane mode off”

You do as she says, and as soon as your phone connects to the wifi, hundreds of notifications pop on your screen, including notifications from the Weverse app. Your heart jumps. One of the members of BTS on tour? You opened the app.

SUGA | Agust D TOUR

“What?” Your voice was so low you could barely hear it.

“Why are you so calm? Isn’t he the whole reason why you are a BTS fan?” Camila pauses to massage her temples. "Why am I freaking out? Isn’t he the guy you dream about all the time? ”

Yes, he is. You thought. The one and only Min Yoongi. The reason why you became an ARMY in the first place.

Turns out, the mysterious guy from your dreams back in 2020 was real. You've dreamt of him so many times before finding out he was actually a living person and not a figment of your imagination.

After the first time dreaming about him, you were washed with a sense of comfort you couldn’t quite understand. The crying over your ex had gotten better with each dream, simply because the feeling of seeing him in your sleep made you feel happy the whole day and forget anything else.

You could see him… Writing, laughing with the most precious smile, reading, recording at the studio, and at last… playing the piano. A real piano. The first time you heard him, though, he looked younger, but you could still see the same focus and the same passion as he played each note so beautifully. That morning of quarantine, almost a month after the first dream, you woke up with the urge to cry from how mighty the scene was. The warmth of the presence of the boy in the piano was already a familiar feeling, but actually listening to his music? Ah, you wanted to stay in that scenario forever. You hummed the song throughout the day, you asked Camila if she knew that melody, just so you could listen to it again. You thought about that the whole time, until you remembered how technology existed and you could just hum the melodies to your cell phone.

It was a BTS song.

And so you listened to that sweet piano melody, and heard him rapping for the first time. And searched for the names of the guys in the band. And finally, you saw the face of that mysterious man on your phone screen. It was weird that you dreamed of an actual person that turned out to produce music before knowing the person actually existed, right? Why you were dreaming about a korean idol and why it made you feel so content was a mystery to you. You tried not to dwell on that, realizing this was the way the universe sent BTS to you, when you needed it the most. And slowly, moving on from your trauma was easier. Letting your ex-boyfriend go was getting simpler each day. You finished that letter (Was it a letter or a novel? With the amount of pages you wrote, you didn’t even know anymore) and just let it go. Yoongi helped you, the boys helped you, and they didn’t even know.

Sometimes when you watch stuff, you get washed with the sense of deja vu. But it is what it is. Yoongi keeps popping in your dreams from time to time, you started to write about him and you irresistibly became an ARMY. How could you not?

“Earth to ______'' Camila snapped her fingers in front of your face “ I thought you’d scream! For God’s sake, I did! Why aren’t you freaking out when I am? You are the fan!”

“Sorry, Cami, I just don’t know how to react. You know how much they all mean to me. But with him… I just can’t believe I’ll finally have the chance to see him” your eyes burned filled with tears.

“Oh, amiga… We will try all we can to get you the best tickets. You will see him play the piano in front of you. I know how much this means to you, how much you changed after you became a fan. I will make sure it happens. I promise.”

You looked at your friend, sitting by your side on the pink couch you insisted on buying for your living room.

“You can’t control that, Cami”

“I can’t, but I will sign up for the pre-sale with as many email accounts as I can. I will even buy the membership thing.”

“ You sound like a fan”

“Well, if he helps you so much, maybe I should be a fan, do you think one of them could visit me in my sleep too? I bet it would be fun” She jokes.

“I wish I could talk to him, even in my dreams”

“When you go to the concert, he will look at you and you guys will fall in love”

“Cami, this is not fanfiction”

“Are you really quoting me right now? Well, I will create my own fanfiction if I want to. Nothing’s impossible. It would be great, then next year you won’t be alone for Valentine’s day. Maybe we can go on a double date, cause next year I’ll definitely have someone.”

“I’m not alone, you are literally in front of me”

“You know the kind of alone I’m talking about. Now, let’s make our Galentine’s dinner. I saw this recipe of spinach gnocchi that seems very easy. I want to try it tonight. Then, we’ll have a date with Mr. Darcy.”

“Camila, have I told you that I love you?”

“Te quiero, amiga, but you better answer your phone next time”

🪷🪷🪷

After squealing during the entirety of “Pride and Prejudice”, you called it a night and went to your room. It was late, but you couldn’t stop yourself from checking all of the details of the announcement and texting your ARMY friends back.

It felt surreal. That your bias will go on a tour. That you’ll finally have the chance of seeing one of them. Excitement was an understatement. You could feel your heart beating against your ribcage. You needed to sleep now, but your whole body was already buzzing with anticipation of going to the concert, of seeing Yoongi in front of you in real life.

Instead, you open the Weverse live and watch it. You pay attention as he talks about Slam Dunk and shares about Fashion Week. You worry when he said he hasn’t eaten, you smile with him once you see his reaction to the tour announcement coming out. You are washed with a wave of love for the artist on the screen.

“It’s not good to be delusional, _______” you say out loud. But you are not sleepy enough right now, and it was indeed Valentine’s day, so your imagination starts making up alternate realities of what could’ve been. You get your dear journal and write a poem, a confession.

“Let’s see each other in person, Yoongi” That’s what you hope and pray for.

🪷🪷🪷

Yoongi POV

Yoongi woke up on that Wednesday with that fuzzy feeling on his chest again. He knew this was getting too weird for his own good, there was no way dreaming about a random person he had never seen in his life was a normal thing.

Three years ago, he thought seeing a woman crying while writing was just a way his brain found to deal with his own creative process and the frustrations coming with it. But the story was getting too complex, the scenes were getting too detailed. There’s no way he knew sonnet 18 by Shakespeare by heart to create that kind of scene. He didn’t even know it by heart in Korean!

He couldn’t complain. He was nervous about his solo tour and his album and seeing her in his dreams gave him a warm sensation of calmness. He hasn’t heard her voice many times, so listening to the teacher in his dreams reading that poem with such devotion made him happy. He closed his eyes, still in bed, trying to replay it in his mind. The big smile and kind eyes shining so bright while talking about the sonnet with so much passion… His heart shrinks a little, the good kind of pain, he wishes he could see her for real, if she’s real. She must be. She has to.

He knew that feeling wouldn’t leave him, even if he tried, the warmth, the pull and the want to see her one more time. This would follow him for the rest of the day and he was getting used to it after such a long time.

He didn’t know what to do. Yoongi knew people would say he’s crazy if he dared to talk about this out loud. So, he resorted to his old friends, the yellow notepad and the pencil. And just like the other times she followed him in his mind, he wrote her another song.

To be continued.

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[taekookielove0130]

Slowly, Unintentionally.

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How is he so cute and hot at the same time!? Fjkdheidbf (Jungkook is my bias, I swear🤕)

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Pairing: Idol!Min Yoongi x Nerd!Reader

Summary:

Y/N and Yoongi are two individuals in completely different worlds who collide due to an arranged marriage. What happens when there’s somebody else living with them too?

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Author's Note:

Part 2 is here! The love I got for Part 1 helped me a lot! But please don't be a silent reader. I beg you. If I can not tell what you guys liked about the story then how am I supposed to know what to write about next? Please. Please tell me what you think *pout pout*

Part 1

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Looking back at that night, I can see that he had just made me realize how my life after marriage was going to be. We've been married for a little over a month, and all he has ever spoken to me about is my family or his work. It's always about something that my father wants us to do or something that his fans expect.

We share the roof, but apart from that, nothing else. I cook for him, and we eat together for formality's sake. That's the only time we see each other at home except for the scarce few times he decides to grace me with his presence since our parents requested it.

I'm broken out of my reverie as I hear the sound of a car being parked in our garage. I look at the clock and see that it's 8 pm. Frowning, I recall that he works till 10 pm usually and he's early today. Shrugging, I move to the door and open it to find a shocking sight...

My husband is standing right there with a bag slung over his shoulder. What surprises me though, is the pair of feminine legs I can see behind his. I look up at him and see the warning in his eyes not to say something I'm going to regret.

So instead of saying anything I look down and move aside, letting the pair in. Yoongi enters followed by a girl who looks about 9 or 10 years old. She's holding his arm tight and looking at me with wide, untrusting eyes. I watch as Yoongi softly pries her hands away from his arm and pulls her to stand in front of me.

I give her a soft smile which she doesn't even try to return. He watches her expressions carefully and then slowly turns towards me.

"Y/N, this is Ae-Cha. "

He says and then turns to face the girl.

"Ae-cha, this is my wife. Y/N, Ae-Cha is going to live with us hereafter. "

The way he is looking at me makes me think he is waiting for my reaction. So I give him a reassuring smile and kneel to meet the girl's height.

"Hello, Ae-cha. "

I say and tuck a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.

"HI."

She replies and waves her hand shyly at me.

Giving her a soft smile, I turn back to Yoongi and say, "Why don't you freshen up? By then, I'll show Ae-cha to her room, and she'll freshen up too so we can eat dinner?"

I can see the surprise in his eyes for a second before he masks it up with indifference once again.

"Yeah, sure. "

I wait till he leaves and then turn back to the little girl. I smile at her before I stand and extend my hand toward her, "Let's go."

A few minutes later, Yoongi and Ae-cha are seated at the dining table while I am serving food to Yoongi. As I turn to place the food on Ae-cha's plate, she puts her hand up to stop me.

As I eye her with a questioning look in my eye, she says in a loud voice, "Rice has too many calories. Don't you have something like broccoli or boiled peanuts?"

I open my mouth to tell her I can make something she wants, but Yoongi cuts me to the chase saying, "Here, you only get to eat what's available. Now, don't make a big scene and just eat it."

Frowning, I think about why Yoongi is acting a bit rude to the little girl.

"No way! Are you trying to make me fat? You know that I want to be a model when I grow up right? " she argues, and I try to control my laughter at the look on Yoongi's face. He looks like he's trying so hard to control his anger.

"Ae-cha, just eat what has been made."

He says in a low voice.

"You don't even know what food is to be consumed at what time. You have zero knowledge!" She shouts at him, surprising me by leaving the room.

"B-bread?" I stutter and sigh before running right behind her. I enter the guest bedroom and see her sitting on the couch with headphones on.

She has an irritated look on her face, and I don't know what to do other than stand and see her for a few seconds. Just as I am about to approach her, I hear Yoongi's phone ringing. Though I don't mean to overhear, I can listen to the conversation clearly from here.

I identify the other person on the line as Hoseok, another member of their band and one of Yoongi's best friends. He was his best man at our wedding besides a few other friends. Hoseok shouts in a loud voice I've only heard him use when he's too angry with someone,

"Who was that girl I saw with you earlier? Why are you taking her to stay with you? Did you ask Y/N if she's fine with it?"

I wait to hear Yoongi simply say, "She's Ha-joon's daughter."

Hoseok shouts again, "WHAT! Why's that woman now talking to you? And why the hell has she sent her daughter with you!? Has she decided not to let you be happy?!"

I feel tears prick my eyes and stream down my face as I recall bits and pieces of information I had gathered about the woman my husband is still madly in love with.

Ha-Joon is the girl Yoongi dated for about three years. They were introduced to each other by mutual friends, and they instantly started dating.

But fate had to play a cruel joke on Yoongi when she cheated on him with his secretary and he had to find the pair entwined on his bed.

Apparently, she only ever dated my husband because of pressure from her family and loved his secretary. She had finally decided to elope though she knew her family would disown her.

I mean, I knew these types of things did happen in the upper tier families but I was still shocked to know my husband had to face that.

Yoongi, who had fallen head over heels for the girl was unable to move on from the heartbreak that I still see him struggling with. It saddened me to no end that fate had always managed to spoil this good man's life, keeping him away from all the happiness in the world.

The fact that he doesn't even want to accept my help has made me stay away from him except for necessary times.

Though I do the household chores while he takes care of the shopping and other stuff, we both have an unsaid agreement not to disturb each other's personal lives. I started listening to their songs and within a very short period of time I've become a dedicated fan. Lately, I've been binge-watching some of their concerts and though I don't mean to be partial, I feel my eyes stray and linger on Yoongi a lot subconsciously.

Now, though, I am shocked out of my shaken state when Yoongi says,

"Hyung, they're both dead."

With widened eyes, I turn back to look at the girl and immediately feel bad for her.

Though I do not know the feeling of not getting enough love from your parents, I can sympathize with her and my husband as I had heard from Yoongi's friends about the rough upbringing he had.

From the little bit of research I had done about him before our marriage, I knew that his parents had died in a car accident when he was a child.

After that, his uncle was the only person who took care of his upbringing. Being a busy man in his primes, Yoongi’s uncle was unable to give him a taste of familial love and care. And soon enough, Yoongi had grown and had to leave his home for his dream job.

He had been accepted by a company and had to stay and work in The States until his debut. Now, I know that anybody would mistake my feelings towards him to be sympathy or the common urge to show him what being loved feels like.

But to be honest, what I feel towards him is the primal instinct of love and protection. In the past week I've come to know so much about him either through his friends or by just observing him. Without meaning to, I've started to notice the tiniest of details. Like, how he never forgets to deposit his used clothes in the laundry or how he always drinks a glass of water before going to bed and right after waking up. The knowledge I have gained about him makes me want to spend the rest of my life showing him love and all it entails.

I do know that cannot happen. Sighing, I wipe the tear strains from my eyes and turn to look at the girl. I kneel down so we're almost the same height and then remove her headphones.

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Yoongi’ s POV

I didn’t know what I expect earlier in the day when I received a call from her dad but it sure wasn’t to be told that she and her husband were both no more with us and their daughter couldn’t stay with him since he’s traveling abroad and he was getting too old.

I decided to bring the girl home, speaking of which...

I sigh and run my hand through my hair realizing I took out my frustration in Ae-cha. Pushing my chair back, I decide to find her and apologize properly. I thought I was prepared for whatever happens but nothing on earth could have prepared me for the scene there.

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Y/N's POV

I smile at her before holding my ears with both my hands saying,

"What do you want for dinner? "

She looks at me with widened eyes and I pout at her.

"Please forgive me for not asking earlier. Pwetty pweaasee" I say with a babyish voice and she hums, thinking for a while.

"Okay, I'll forgive you. On one condition. "

I widen my eyes and nod eagerly, asking her, "What is it? "

"You should always ask me what I want to eat. Do you think you'll be able to do that."

I smile and nod at her saying, "I'll never forget after this." She folds her hands and pretends to be a tough person as she says, "Mhmm. So now you've learnt your lesson."

"Yes mam. " I reply cheekily and smile with satisfaction as I watch her giggle cutely. "Okay, can we go eat now? I feel sooo hungry " I ask exaggerating the "hungry" part and stand up extending my hand to her. "Yes, let's go." she says gleefully and hops down holding my hand.

We both turn to go and I am shocked to see Yoongi standing there. He's got a gummy smile and he's looking at Ae-cha with adoration in his eyes. I think he should smile more. It makes him look so cute! I have seen his concerts and heard girls gush about it, mind you. I just never realised how cute it was...

Ae-cha suddenly pushes my hand aggressively away and folds her hands again. She puffs out her cheeks and turns her head away from Yoongi, a frown marring her forehead.

I watch as Yoongi flinches and scratches the back of his head, something I've noticed he does when he's guilty. He slowly walks towards her and kneels down, whispering

"I'm sorry. I was a bit rude to you. It's just that I don't like when someone says no to food. "

Ae-cha hesitates a few seconds before giving up.

She slowly faces him and says, "But you could have said it softly. You know, my grandfather often says that what you say can make a big difference in the other person's life. "

She looks at Yoongi with her wide eyes sparkling with innocence in them and I see him regretting what he did. For some inexplicablereason, he looks at me. I see emotion lurking in his dark orbs. It resembles guilt but even before I can try to figure out what it is, it's gone.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again. " he says and she replies with a smile, "I'm sure you won't. "

Yoongi silently pulls her into a hug and shuts his eyes tightly.

I know exactly what he's going through right now. Trying to guve the child her fair bit of familial love she deserves being the reason why he brought her home, he has realised that raising his voice at her has only hurt ans scared the poor child.

I watch the interaction with tears in my eyes and am surprised when Ae-cha pulls me. She holds my hands and pats Yoongi on the shoulders.

They break the hug and Yoongi stands. He looks at me for a moment with an unreadable expression and a cold face.

I sigh and turn to Ae-cha. I don't know what I expected, really. Though I know that nothing’s going to change between us, I keep hoping for something good.

A small sign from him that he's ready to accept me would be enough. Though I can't ever forgive or forget him for the words he threw at me on our wedding night, I still feel like I should give this marriage a chance.

But everytime I do something good for him, I only witness him chip a part of my heart away. At the end of the day, I only keep getting hurt... ___________________________

To be continued...