#i always love when they have guest VAs too

[j-esbian]

i don’t even know if we caught walrusman adventurezone’s name but i absolutely adore this concept for a villain and henchperson duo. walruses eat shrimp and im imagining like. that’s literally what was happening and then they both got transformed

[barblaz-arts]

I know that pilot was gold!!!! The only thing that kept me alove was the promise of more and Helluva Boss!!!

But yeah their interactions, Vaggie OMG i love this idiot face every time Charlie feels too much and get too excited is GOLD.

It is always refreshing to have a well established couple since the beginning that work thors issues together. I might live for a good slowburn, but the fluff woth a dash of angst around them was enough to get me feed.

And the songs... the songs!!!!!

Exactly! There were so many moments where Vaggie is stressed about something but then she sees Charlie being her theatrical adorable self and she just immediately melts.

She loves her so much 💗

And i know what you mean. I get it when people dont take much interest in an already established ship because I'm like that in a lot of cases, but something about Chaggie got me so invested even tho they're already dating for years now. People complain that they don't act like a couple, not being all over each other and shit, but their behavior with each other is my ideal portrayal for couples i write. As great as seeing physical chemistry is, i love it when a couple just shows how much they enjoy being with each other even more. And just... Like each other as a person yanno?

And oh my gosh the songs. They were so good, i applaud their song writers. And the fact that most of their voice actors were theater actors in a lot of musicals i loved really made it even better. This is a long shot, but since Nifty was the only one who didn't get to sing more than two lines in a song, i hope they get her to sing more next season. Nothing special, just a fun musical number that maybe welcomes a new sinner in the hotel. Like a Be Our Guest kind of thing. Otherwise casting Kimiko Glen for her would be suuuuch a waste.

(for those who don't know her, this is Nifty's VA)

[soleilnmity]

MEDIA - ラジオCD「20th ANNIVERSARY ペルソナラジオ」 [JP/ENG]

Title: Persona 20th Anniversary "Persona Radio" Download Link

The Persona 20th Anniversary Radio was a weekly broadcast featuring various voice actors from the Persona series, and it then got released in CD format for the 20th anniversary!

I was always curious about Koyasu's thoughts regarding P2 and his inclusion on this CD because it was the first time he was called out for something anniversary-related, so I comissioned a translation of his radio appearance!

The translation has been done by the wonderful @currytantou so all kudos to her! The video is long and heavy so tumblr doesn't let me attach it directly uhsdfkj

Some things of note:

Koyasu likes Trinity Soul (likely because he voiced Kanzato Ryo www) and wishes others gave it a chance, not to erase it's existence.

Koyasu is a huge Megaten fan and he started with Mainline and Devil Survivor. He was also in other (old?) Atlus streams as well.

Koyasu has also played Megami Ibunroku Persona, and his favorite character there is Nanjo. He wanted to voice him.

Tatsuya's voice was always meant to be deep. Koyasu was told several times to actually deepen his voice when recording for Tatsuya.

Koyasu's favorite option for Tatsuya is Lisa. He immediately replies "Ginko" without a doubt lmao.

He loves Tatsuya very much, and complains about Atlus "removing him when they're coming up with something". He wishes he was more relevant and that he could voice him again.

Additionally, here's congratulatory messages of all members that are featured on the CD

Koyasu Takehito:

Nova Cytheeeerrrr!! Persona 2 Innocent Sin/Eternal Punishment is a work that'll be forever in my heart, so I was very happy to have been able to participate this way. I'd love to do it again (lol) That's all!

Akira Ishida:

Thank you for listening to the 20th Anniversary Persona Radio. I can only express my gratitude to all of you who have run alongside me in this 10-year marathon of “Persona 3"

I'm confident that this is content I can present to the new fans who will support us for the next 10 years. I hope you will continue to support the Persona series"

Hikaru Midorikawa:

I'm glad to have been able to participate as a guest this time. I wonder if this will be my last work related to "Persona 3"? But I had a lot of fun talking to Ishida-san♥

Namikawa Daisuke

It's been a while since we last spoke, but once we started talking, it didn't take long for us to get back to the atmosphere of that time. It was a fun time! I hope I was able to deliver it in style…

Kanda Akemi

It was fun!! It's been a while since I've had the "Persona" feeling, and I really loved it. Thank you!!

Kappei Yamaguchi

It didn't feel that it's been that long! The cast of "Persona 4" are all good friends, so I would be happy if we could do something for the 20th again♪

Fukuyama Jun

This is Jun Fukuyama, playing as P5's protagonist! I was supposed to tell you about the charms of P5, but I ended up focusing on the fun stories of each character, but that's alright!!

Aoi Yuuki

Eh!? No way Fukuyama-san is a cheater…! Eh!? To think Fukuyama-san could do something like that…! Eh!? Fukuyama-san…! It was a lot of fun to hear this side of him…(lol) Of course, we're talking about P5☆

Unfortunately, not *all* of the CD is translated (I would die x_x, these interviews are so fast paced and like 40 mins each!!!). If you want to know the 345 side of the interviews, you can trust curry for a translation~

But to compensate, this has nothing to do with the 20th anniversary, but I also comissioned an additional message that appeared in the somewhat recent 25th anniversary as well! This is one of the first instances of Maya's VA, Akiko Yajima, to have been invited to an anniversary-related event too!

I'm mostly a p2 blog so I wanted to take the opportunity to post this during Tatsuya's birthday as well. So please enjoy!

[sonicjustbecause]

My opinion on voices (Sonic and Shadow mostly), both official and fan VA

Sonic - the official

The voice I'm most fond on is the one of Ryan Drummond in the Adventure games, while I didn't appreciate much how he sounded in Heroes. It was the first time I head a convincing Sonic Voice, after years of hearing Pietro Ubaldi in Italy (Pietro Ubaldi is known to dub cat characters. All male cats in anime were dubbed by him in the '90s'. If Big the cat was in Sonic Satam, I think the Italian VA would have been Pietro Ubaldi. His voice didn't work much on Sonic, indeed right now Sonic Italian VA is Renato Novara, a lovely voice for him).

I was happy Sonic had his voice too, like Mario. Ryan's natural voice is very deep. Deeper than RCS', I was surprised hearing him talk naturally. But he made Sonic sound like a loud and cheerful teenager.

Jason Griffith was also a great Sonic. Not so great in Sonic X, but in videogames he had a strong reminescence of Ryan. Maybe he even sounded more natural. Unlike Ryan, Jason's natural voice is not so deep and i think his voice sounds cute at times. To be honest, I can't choose between the two.

My opinion on Roger Craig Smith's voice is not that great. I don't like how he sounds, not even in Frontiers, his voice is too deep and too serious for Sonic. Some suggested that he should dub Shadow, they even did videos with Shadow with RCS voice when he dubbed more mature characters. But, personally, I think he is a bad Sonic and would make a bad Shadow.

Hearing Deven Mack in Sonic Prime was a big relief. His voice is very goofy and lively, yet gentle and soft, I think it was perfect, it portrays Sonic's personality and emotions, is versatile and I hoped for him to became the new Sonic voice. Unfortunately we got RCS back.

Fan VA

As for fan VA , the first that comes to my mind is Pixelrush. I was surprised that a goofy voice would sound so good on Sonic.

LittleGameBoy5 sounds very dark. I can't say I hate his voice. He dubs the gloomy Sonic from Idol Amy, so it suits. He is also capable to be goofy when needed.

PatchToons, (Sonic and Amy Squad) dubs all male Sonic Characters but Tails. And Mario who is the guest, making all of them sound recognizable as their own. For Sonic, it seems to me he is referring on RCS, because the voice he uses is quite low.

Shadow - The officials

I've read more than once that Shadow's voice is supposed to sound beautiful.

Anyway, My favourite VA for Shadow is David Humphrey, and his interpretation is fairly different than the others that followed. He dubbed Shadow in his debut game and in Heroes. I think the first thing that I noticed is the low volume of his voice. This underlines a thoghful personality. He also spoke very clear. The voice sounded youthful and smooth and the range of emotion was large, Shadow was a grieving kid, but he was also mischievous, and you could clearly hear that. David sounded so good because that was his natural voice.

I also like Jason Griffith. He's not David and he makes Shadow sounds too mature at times, but he clearly captures his melancholy. Like for Sonic, he may sound cute. Many complain about Jason's voice being wispering/breathy when he does Shadow, but I like that. I think it underlines Shadow's quietness. Although I know some taciturn people who are loud talkers, usually when you aren't use to talk, your voice loses strenght.

Jason's Shadow can also sound playful. In Sonic Zero gravity Shadow is having fun and you can hear that.

There is not much from Ryan Drummond as Shadow. He had to imitate David, so I don't know what his take would have been, but unlike many I think he didn't sound like Kirk.

Now is better to restrict myself because what I think about Kirk Thornton's voice is... how to say? Kirk's voice is... uhmm, not very beautiful. I don't complain about the pitch but I can't stand the raspiness, he makes Shadow sounds always angry and murderous even when he is not supposed to sound like that. The famous 'You got this Sonic!' sounds angry when it shouldn't have had. The voicelines I heard on YT were at best embarrassing.

In first episodes of Sonic Prime, Ian Hanlin didn't made a good impression. He was so loud. But when Shadow had to talk for long (longer than he ever talked) in the episode 9 and when he appeared in the following episodes, I coul hear the voice I was used to, soft spoken and soothing. He shouted in the first episode for a good reason.

Fan VA

The first that I think about is Crazy Greg. He dubs in Idol Amy and has his own Youtube channel and is active for a while. Clearly he bases his dubbing style on Jason Griffith, but his voice is very iconic, powerful and feels so Shadow-like, many think SEGA should hire him.

Another VA I like has a unequivocal username... Shadow the Hedgehog, known also as Julz. He is normally a loud talker and has a goofy voice. I was surprised when he started to write serious stories with Shadow as protagonist, played them in cinematic VRchat and dubbed him... his voice suddenly sounded so soft and sad... and still recognizable as his own.

SimitarchVOs is interesting... his voice is quiet but also raspy and deep, certainly not beautiful... and yet is charming and fun, a bit sad, it sounds like somebody who went through a lot of tragedies in his life and is now trying to find peace. He mostly dubs with Pixelrush.

Shadow759 and Vindo (Both dub for Sasso Studio, but Shadow759 has his own page with his own videos) sound natural. They just speak calmly but they don-t go too far from theri natural voices, a bit like David Humphrey. This make them sound really smooth. Shadow759 also makes a good Silver. He is alittle less convincing as Sonic though.

Last, PatchToons from Sonic and Amy Squad, with his soothing, quiet and slightly breathy interpretation of Shadow. Interestingly, for Sonic he refers to RCS. But for Shadow he makes him sounds like a mix of David and Jason.

There are so many fan VA around, both good and bad. I choose to talk about those that i like most, but there are so many good fan VA around. Too many to be mentioned.

There is no point on talking about fan VA I don't like.

[fragiledewdrop]

Isn't it amazing how, when you are exposed to multiple languages, it changes the way you think about reality?

I don't even mean when you learn a language well and it starts merging with your native tongue. More like...

...there are so many words for "apple" in this world, but to me the apple's truest name will always be "alma", because my Hungarian grandmother used to make me say it over and over and was sad that I never got the pronunciation exactly right. She was my "nagymama".

The first time I fell in love, it was with a girl of Chinese heritage, which means that, deep in my soul, the sweetest way to say "I love you" is 我愛你, both in Cantonese and Mandarin.

I was around German speakers a lot as a child, and I thought it was very funny that "sorry" was "Entschuldigung", so that's what I think every time I bump into someone on the street. I had a seizure at a hospital once, and when I came to the nurse started asking questions to see if I was all there. She showed me a pen and asked me what it was, and my immediate answer was "Kugelschreiber". She was so confused, but it took me a while to remember the Italian word, because "Kugelschreiber" has always been much more satisfying to think and say than "penna".

My Polish friend says "kurva" every time she swears (which is quite often), and so I have started saying that too.

Although, since I began studying French, my instinctual swear word is a very classy "putain de merde". When I am really happy, I am "aux anges". How are you? "Ça va". There is a game of cards that can be called many things, but to me it's "bataille corse", because I used to play it a lot with a French coworker in Ireland.

When I was little, I played almost every day with a girl who came from Venezuela. We could understand each other just fine, but once she asked me to pass her the "pajaro" and I didn’ get what she was saying. Eventually I understood she meant our Barbie's little blue plastic bird, and not a sparrow, which is what the word sounded like to me. So when I see birds in the trees? "Pajaros en las ramas". I had another friend whose surname was a play on the Spanish word for sunrise, which she was very proud of, and one of my favourite verses by Garcia Lorca is about the "breaking cups of dawn". When I watch the sun rise, the first word that comes to mind is "madrugada".

As a teenager, I read "Poor Folk" by Dostoevsky and there was a letter in which the protagonist wrote to his lover and called her "golubchik". I still think that's the sweetest pet name- along with "honey" in English.

After coming back from Japan, my brother has started slipping idioms in his speech when he is distracted. I couldn't understand them at first, but I thought it endearing, and now "wait a moment" is "chotto matte". He is my "ototo", "little brother".

A Romanian lady helps take care of my grandfather. Ever since I have met her, known her, helped her pick out gifts for the kids that she can see so rarely, taught her recipes and learned recipes frome her, "thank you" to me has become "mulțumesc".

A person I don't know is "ξένος (xénos)", the Greek for "foreigner, stranger", but also "guest, host, friend".

There are many more. I am a mosaic of the voices of the people I have met, the people I have loved. My own language is beautiful and it's home, but even its ancient, melodious poetry is not enough to encompass the beauty and tragedy of this world. And if I dream in English, curse in French, think of my former Christian God with a Hebrew name and of holiness as the prayer in Arabic over my sick bed that fell from the lips of a Malian refugee who had become a family friend, maybe I can come closer to grasp it.

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

While I read that the next episode next week will be a special compilation, a recap, of all the things that happened (from episodes 1 to 13) complete with behind the scenes and the audio commentaries of the voice actors of Yukiya (Matsumi Tamura), Asebi (Rina Honnizumi) and Hamayu (Hiroki Nanami), I came across an article from NHK that came out early this month, an interview of Miyu Irino (Wakamiya/Nazukihiko) and Eiji Takeuchi (Sumio).

The recap, some people hate it bc it is a filler, I think, is necessary as it signals that we are probably going to move on to another arc. It means they will also possibly animate the other key points of the other volumes in the novel series.

These are only excerpts. (Like always, a very rough translation.)

What kind of person was played for each role?

Irino Miyu (hereinafter referred to as Irino): Wakamiya is a mysterious man. I look beautiful and am smart, and I don't have any favourites. But I am also called "utsuke" (a fool) by the people around me. Wakamiya is a man who calculates that much that he's showing that he's a good person, or that, he thinks he can be.

Eiji Takeuchi (hereinafter referred to as Takeuchi): Sumio is a person that takes on the role of a "worker," who safeguards Wakamiya alone.

Irino: He’s the perfect person and a perfect escort for Wakamiya, so at first, it runs flawlessly with only these two people.

Takeuchi: Moreover, there is an underlying reason there is only one escort.

Irino: The only reliable person for Wakamiya is Sumio at the beginning, so when Yukiya comes in as Wakamiya’s new servant, a change in the dynamic is born.

How did Yukiya, who is both noisy and loving, capture the changes caused by his entry between these two?

Irino: I feel that Yukiya is the best partner for Wakamiya. Especially as the story progresses, Yukiya brings out the good in Wakamiya, and Wakamiya brings out the good points and potential parts of Yukiya. In the case of Wakamiya, it is while driving Yukiya into a rough pinch (laughs). I felt that it was interesting to play the way the good points were brought out by the synergistic effect.

Takeuchi: From Sumio's point of view, I think he was very happy that Yukiya came. I think there was only one escort for Wakamiya, or rather, only one person could be placed. Meanwhile, Wakamiya recognises and trusts Yukiya's ability so much that he wants to install him as his kinju. On the other hand, I think Sumio was just happy, and considering that Yukiya is there too, Wakamiya doesn’t need to be the only one with Sumio, who is fine that Yukiya comes along too. Of course, he should be there as support for Yukiya.

Irino: Wakamiya and Sumio are the types who keep their thoughts to themselves with a reason, but Yukiya is the type who drives by his emotions.

Takeuchi: That's right, his position and personality are different from the two of us.

Irino: I'm excited to see the three of us becoming a team by making up for each other. I want you to look forward to this dynamic because it will also be an element that moves the story.

…

Irino: As the story progresses, all the characters will change more and more from the first impression. That's one of the charms of this story. Each relationship will change greatly, so I want you to look forward to that change. " This character was actually like this!?" It's full of it.

…

Takeuchi: From Sumio’s point of view, Wakamiya seems to be quite changing.

Irino: Really? Is that so? (lol)

Takeuchi: Especially when I see you interact with Yukiya. In the beginning, Wakamiya was only saying the facts, so if you say, ‘I won't change….’ Sumio is not the type to put out his thoughts, so I don't think you can feel much change, but please look forward to what will happen there on.

Today there are a couple of events before the 13th episode screening where the VAs of Yukiya, Matsuma Tamura, and Asebi are radio guests and Hamayu’s VA, Nanami, as a guest of Yuki Kaji for a radio play.

And yesterday they unveiled the first batch of merchandise!! Yayyayyyay!

[mariatesstruther]

okay WAIT an eloise at christmastime x tlou au in which tommy and joel miller work at the plaza hotel to support their niece sarah, who gets to live at the plaza in exchange. ellie lives there too, for the same reasons—anna is working there as a line cook, and the plaza’s owner has allowed both of them to stay for as long as they need. tess is their general manager, and maria is the owner’s daughter, a law student at columbia who stays at the plaza to help out her father when she has the time

the plaza is owned by hank moreau, a hotel mogul who made a legacy being the first black man to own and manage the plaza through his longstanding hospitality company. he employed anna, joel, tommy, and tess at the plaza when he took-over, both as a thanks and as recognition for their hard work at his other hotels for years

okay so the actual plot: maria is coming back in town because she’s engaged and set to be married at the plaza, but her fiancé is actually a douchebag and tricking her into thinking he loves her so that he can steal her and hank’s money. sarah and ellie find this out somehow, probably hear him bragging about his plan to his buddies over poker as they sneak around in the adults-only area if the hotel. and theyre like!!!!!!! absolutely!!!!! fucking!!!!! not!!!!!!! we NEED to stop this guy!!!!!

exposition and maria/tommy first meeting under the cut 🫶🏾

sarah and ellie have known maria for years, since they were both little girls that had just moved into the plaza and maria had invited them both up to her penthouse suite for snacks and movies. she told them all the best places to hide, the best days to get free food from the banquet and the days to avoid, as well as who to go if they ever need help—including her, tess, and her father. point is, the girls love maria. they’ve always loved maria. so theyr’e Not Fucking with this Fiancée Asshole or this farce of a wedding

they also know that tommy is in love with maria, has been basically since the moment the two met, which was just a few weeks before that first sleepover. sarah and ellie were there to witness it all: they’d been messing around with tommy’s tool cart as he went through rooms and lame parts of the hotel to fix shit. sarah had sent ellie flying down the hall with it right as maria had been walking around the corner—ellie crashed into maria so hard, she’d been knocked into the wall behind her, the folder full of papers she’d been holding flying all over the place

tommy, sarah, and ellie had all winced at the crash. at that point, they were all new and nervous to be there, and they knew who maria was by name but had yet to meet her. still, without knowing who she was, all of them knew fucking around in front of the guests was the number one way to get kicked out of the plaza.

“jesus, girls. mira por donde vas!” tommy had immediately gone over to where she was on the floor, offering her his hand, expecting her to be pissed and for his and joel’s chance to give sarah a better future to go straight down the drain he’d just fixed.

but then he’d heard her start to laugh. and it was the most glorious giggle he’d ever heard. maria smiled up at tommy from the ground, papers fallen around her like snowfall and bringing out the sparkling white of her teeth—he’d fallen head-over-heels in love with her right then and there.

“ma’am, are you alright?” he asked, reverently taking the small, perfectly-manicured hand she’d slipped into his and pulling her up gently. “i am so, so fuckin’ sorry for that—i mean, uh—i apologize for them. think the girls got a lil’ too carried away.” the last part had been expressed pointedly over his shoulder at ellie and sarah, who were standing shyly by his cart with childlike embarrassment on both their faces.

“no, it’s fine, i’m just fine. no need to be sorry,” maria’s still laughing by the time she gets up, smiling right up into tommy’s face and—wow, is she beautiful. he doesn’t remember ever being stunned by anyone this much in his whole life. she’s got long, beautiful locs with loosely-curled hair at the ends, falling long down past her waist like rapunzel. wearing a short pink blazer dress and matching heeled loafers, she’s a confusing yet dazzling combination of intimidating and adorable. tommy feels the heat of her hand in his even after she lets go. “i may have needed the laugh, honestly. thanks, girls.” she directs the words to ellie and sarah kindly and genuinely, and tommy feels himself immediately warm to her as he watches the anxiety on their faces ease from over his shoulder.

“sorry for knocking the shit out of you, lady,” ellie says, and he cringes.

luckily, it only serves to make maria laugh once more, and the woman lifts a hand to wave away the apology. “i wasn’t watching where i was walking, anyway. my fault,” she insists kindly, then turns her attention back to tommy. he finds he likes being under the weight of her sharp, pretty brown eyes. “the real problem here is that i don’t recognize you guys, and i recognize everyone. are you new? i’m maria. maria moreau.”

“oh, shit,” tommy can’t stop himself from saying. he feels sarah and ellie both turn their eyes to him, instantly picking up on his nerves. he can see the amusement on maria’s face at his clear and shocked recognition. he immediately goes down to start picking up her fallen papers, hands fumbling as fast as his words. “we really are so, so sorry, ma’am, and didn’t mean to disturb your day. we don’t do this often at all, i promise ya. i just needed to watch them the girls while i took care of an emergency repair, so—,”

“jesus, cowboy, calm down,” maria cut him off immediately, voice amused and her smirk melting into a pleased, charmed smile. to tommy’s surprise, she drops right down to the floor next to him and starts collecting her papers beside him, uttering a small thank-you as he passes her the ones he’d already picked up. “i told you already, i needed a laugh. don’t worry about it.”

“so i won’t have to worry about your father comin’ to my door and firing me for nearly knockin’ the head off his daughter?” tommy’s tone is joking and light, but there is clear underlying anxiety in his voice as he asks. the quip is said low enough that neither sarah and ellie hear, the girls talking behind them as they pick up the few tools knocked from tommy’s cart in it’s collision.

“not if i have anything to say about it,” maria says, her tone light but serious. she gives him a long, pointed once-over that he can’t help but interpret as flirting, a blush heating up his face before he can control himself. “i really don’t recognize you at all, cowboy. i was right about you being new, wasn’t i?”

“yes, ma’am.”

“what’s your name?”

“tommy,” he responds as they both get up. at first, they end up just a tad too close, so he takes a polite step back as he hands her the last of her papers.

“tommy,” maria repeats back to him, and he feels a rush of something shoot up his spine, forcing him to stand up straighter and taller, at the sound of his name from her lips. she must notice, because she smirks at him knowingly as she holds her messy folder to his chest. “you don’t have to worry about a thing. i think i’d like to keep you around.”

and she had—well, her father had, technically. but maria had remained close friends with the millers and the williams for years, always treating sarah and ellie with gifts, stopping by the halls to talk with joel while he fixed pipes or by the kitchen to hang with anna while she did her prep—and always speaking, joking, and flirting with tommy every chance she got. they never became anything official; mostly because, according to joel and anna, tommy was always too chickenshit to ask her out. by the time maria finished her ADA training and moved out of state, tommy was surely in love with her but equally determined not to hold her back. he always wanted the best for her and believed she deserved far better than the maintenance man at her father’s hotel, so he held his tongue. she left. then she comes back with a complete douchebag of a fucking fiancée, set to be married at the plaza on christmas

and it’s up to sarah and ellie to stop the motherfucking wedding

for my mariatommy lovers, specifically @ameerawrites @bumblepony @clickergossip and @liveandletcry23

[aether-link]

Howdy, hope your day is goin well! ❤︎ Ty for the ask ~ I could literally talk about Sasuke all day!! Same goes for Atla! I agree I love the water tribes, their culture is so fascinating and the sub bending is awesome- tho I do love me some fire benders too! if you don't mind my asking, do you have an Atla au for any Nart characters and or OCs?👀

Sasuke positivity squad!! YES. Started recently getting back into atla, there’s nothing quiet like it these days. THANK YOU FOR THE ASK! AH, VERY APPRECIATED✨

I’ve always genuinely liked water theme things (I blame pokemon). The others are just as cool too, they all have there good and dark sides, what makes it interesting to me. Even the podcasts with korra’s va and Dante zukos va, they do interesting stuff that I like to listen to :’). One of their recent eps is about sub classes from the main types and one was of cause blood bending. Everyone thinks dark thanks to the shows, but the guests they had up brought up a good point. You can or could use it for good things, to also save lives like normal water bending healing. (I to could legit talk about this for hours!!)

And YES, fire benders are wonderful! As quoted from Dante nearly all the time “THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE IN THE FIRE NATION🗣” he’s precious for that. From watching the og series once again, I STILL think it’s a crime that zuko’s fire not being rainbow from the masters. (My crime list grows) I just think that be neat. He’s a bean in my house along with sasuke.

I do have OCs yes! And I remember when I was making them, one of my main ocs, I remembered Iroh and lowkey applied hes wisdom/vibe to her. Her name is Minami Uchiha. She’s now elderly now, I had to redraw her due to someone stealing my oc and making her…well…bad. I also have Suzume, Kano and now my new oc named Malice. Suzume is a yokai sparrow, while kano her son is half yokai who is a water spirit. Malice is also half yokai and shinagami. Kano and Malice fathers are Tobirama and Madara 😭 (their lore is all over the place and too long).

I haven’t got any atla au yet but, if my oc where benders, Suzume - air. Kano - water. Malice- fire. Minami - fire.

-

I do have a hc for Zuko having a baby lion turtle after war. (They’re my favourite hybrid animal other then turtle ducks). The new fire lord is a bit baffled for this creature being in the royal pond with his duckies!

[flowtus143]

VA-11 Hall-A Fan Fiction: Bedtime Story

Some #va11halla fan fiction I wrote a while back. Don’t know what to do with it, so I’ll post it here. Hope you enjoy!

#va11halla

#va11halla

#va11halla

After re-establishing their sisterly bond, Jill and Gaby have been spending a lot of time together. They both wish to support each other through the grieving process and, in the long term, play a larger role in each other’s lives. Jill thought it would be great for Gaby to meet some of her friends and invited Alma and Dorothy to hang out them at her apartment. Alma was excited at the idea of hanging out with Jill and meeting Gaby for a second time and arrived early. The three are chatting the night away when the doorbell rings. Jill answers the door…

???: “And the crowd goes WILD!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

???: “And she haven't even taken off her shoes yet!!”

J: Oh, hey Dorothy. Glad you could make it.

J: You can leave you shoes at the door, with the others.

A: Dorothy! Hey girl!

D: Party’s here!!! Hey honey, hey Alma! Hey, uh, umm…

G: …

J: Right, you two haven’t met before. Gaby, this is Dorothy. She a regular at Valhalla and-

D: A REGULAR!?!? JUST A REGULAR!?!? 

J: Relax. Anyway, Dorothy’s a regular and a really good friend of mine.

A&D: Aww, Jill!!

J: S-shut up. Dorothy, this is Gaby. She's my ex’s little sister…and kinda like my little sister too.

G: ...nice to meet you.

D: Hey, Gaby! Nice to meet you, too!

D: Oh, and I'm sorry for you loss. Jill and Dana told me about your sister a few week ago.

G: …it's okay.

G: I mean, it's not okay. I'm doing the best I can, but it's been hard. It goes without saying but…I miss Lenore.

G: Reconnecting with Jill has been really great for processing my sister's passing.

J: …

J: …yeah, same for me.

A: Wow, you were right, Jill. She is really smart, especially for someone so young.

J: Yep. Always has been. She got it from her sister.

A: Don't you mean sisters? 

J: … *blush*

D: Well, I'm glad both of you guys are starting to feel better! Gaby, let me know if I can do anything for you! I'll be more than happy to help!

J: I don't think she'll be needing your kind of help.

D: Hey!

G: What’s that supposed to mean?

A: …really, Jill?

D: I wouldn't offer that kind of help to a minor anyway!

J: Gaby, forget I said anything.

G: Umm, what kind of help?

D: The kind that…makes lonely people feel a little less lonely!

J: Just forget about it, Gaby.

G: …

G: So, you're a prostitute?

J: …dammit.

A: Like you said, smart girl.

D: W-well, yeah. But I wasn't offering those services to you! Really!!

D: I just wanted you to know that I'm here to support you!

G: …thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

A: Jill!! Time for you to offer drinks!

J: We’re not at the bar.

A: But we are guests in your home. Soooooo…

D: I'll take a beer!

J: …fine.

A: Same, since that's all you have around here.

G: Umm…I'll have some water, or…?

J: We're all having water since there's an underaged person hanging out with us.

J: (That was a one-time thing, Gaby.)

G: (Oh, okay…)

J: Four bottles of water, coming right up.

G: Thanks Jill!

D: Thanks, honey!

A: Yeah, thanks Juli-

J: Finish that sentence and I'll make you wear that water.

D: Booby hacker…dripping wet…

???: (Yeah, throw it on her. Maybe she'll take her top off. Don't you want to see her body in all its curvy glory?)

J: (…is that…?)

D: Yes, I'd love to…

J: Huh!?

A: Haha okay, okay, Ms. Stingray. I would tell you to calm down, but I know my presence, my aura, is flustering.

J: You wish. More like frustrating.

D: Honey, I've never seen you get so bothered before! You're always so calm and cool.

G: She was the same way with Lenore. Nobody could get under Jill’s skin the same way Lenore could.

A: Do I remind you of your ex? Does that mean…

J: Alright, enough…

A: Oh, sorry…thanks for the water Jill…

J: My pleasure.

A: …hug?

J: I’m okay. You’re fine, Alma.

D: Group hug on Jill! Sandwich her with love!

J: No, really. I'm fine. Next subject.

G: What do you want to talk about?

D: OH, I KNOW!!!

D: So, I have an INCREDIBLY story to tell you all!

J: Is it a story from work?

D: Yes!

A: A different type of bedtime story, huh?

J: Pfffft.

G: …

D: There's lots of rope involved too!

J: Well, tell us after Gaby goes to sleep.

G: No need to wait, I'll excuse myself. I don't think I want to hear that kind of story anyway.

J: No, don't leave. We want you to hang out, too.

G: It's fine. I'll just go to your room with Fore for the next 30 or so minutes.

“F”: But I want to hear the story too!

G: …

A: ...

D: …

J: …

“F”: …

G: …we’ll be back soon.

J: …

A: Soooo…about that rope story…

D: *ahem*

D: Saturday, January 7th.

D: A lone woman leaves a bar to meet with a peculiar client. 

D: It was a blistering cold walk through the streets of downtown Glitch City. The flickering lights of overdue MegaChristmas decorations and the hum of the neon signs were the woman's only companions.

D: She receives a call. It's the client.

D: “Hey! I'm heading towar-”

D: The client interrupts the woman before she could even finish her sentence. So rude!

???: “Be discreet. I don't want anyone seeing us meet.”

A: Oooooh, meeting with a big shot?

J: Can you get to the point?

D: But I wanted to add some drama and flair to the story!

A: Jill isn't the type to enjoy foreplay.

J: Nonsense. I play with Fore all the time.

A: And you talk for him too, apparently.

J: …

A: Sorry, Jill! As long as we're friends, you'll never live that down!

D: ANYWAY, BACK TO MY STORY!

D: Skipping ahead a bit, we arrive at his place. It's quite fancy. Maybe a bit gaudy too. Huge bottles of alcohol, giant television screens, massive Texas king-sized bed.

J: Texas? I thought king-sized was the biggest.

D: I did too until I saw his bed. But that's not the most interesting part. He had ropes and harnesses fastened to these giant frames.

A: Listen, I've had my fair share of experiences with shady guys in shady places. But this is severe red flag territory. Weren't you scared? I would've got THE FUCK outta there.

D: I was a little tense, but considering who he was made me feel a little more relaxed. Plus, finger guns.

A: Right…who was he?

D: I don't kiss and tell!

A: Jill, you ask her. Maybe she'll tell you.

J: I already know who it is, I think.

A: Ugh, fine.

D: Back to the story. I was like…

D: “Umm…what are the ropes and stuff for?”

???: “For you, of course. Rope bondage. And you're the bunny.”

D: “I-I don’t think I’d make a good ‘bunny.’ I'm not into overly submissive types of play.”

???: “Don't worry about it. We’re not fucking, if that makes you feel better.”

D: My heart was really starting to race at this point. I’ve never shot anyone before, but there’s a first time for everything.

D: “…then, what are we doing?”

???: *sigh* “Everybody has a price. Here's my offer.”

???: “I’ll explain everything I want and I’ll give you an extra 25% on top of your normal rate. Willing to hear me out?”

D: “Sure…”

???: “Smart choice. Ever heard of shibari?”

D: “No…what's that?”

J: Shibari? Interesting, I've seen it before. It's the Japanese art of rope bondage. The rope is beautifully wrapped around a person's body and-

D: Jill! This is my story!

A: Neeeeeerd!

J: …please continue, Dorothy.

???: “I want to use these ropes and harnesses to bound you, pose you, and suspend you in midair. I want to take pictures too.”

???: “Here are some photos of my other work.”

D: “Wow, this is beautiful!”

???: “You can do that, can’t ya? We can get some really good shots with those extra flexible Lilim limbs. So, you in or out?”

D: “In!”

D: At first, I was terrified. I was completely naked and submitting myself entirely to a stranger.

D: But he was shockingly good at applying bondage so, my fears melted away pretty quickly. It didn't hurt at all!

A: Did you get some good photos out of it?

D: Yes! We did four different poses and got dozens of good shots. I'll show you if you don't mind seeing me naked.

A: Ehh, I don't mind. That was an interesting story, Dorothy!

D: Thanks!

J: Yeah, I was half expecting the story to be “this guy had a really weird dick.”

D: Well, that's not interesting at all! That's just my average Tuesday.

D: But yeah! That's my story! The end!

A: *clap*

J: Okay, Gaby, you can come back now!

G: Okay!

G: Shibari sounds really cool.

J, A, & D: YOU WERE LISTENING!?

G: …

[ayyy-imma-ninja]

I'm glad the Bloodmoon twins are dead. They were both annoying.

I want them to stay dead because it's become such a monumental moment in Sun's current arc. I didn't mind them as characters, I liked their chaotic energy at times, but if they were brought back, it would make Sun's development meaningless.

I'm pissed that they killed Lunar, but I highly doubt he'll stay dead. He's too loved by too much of the fandom.

I'm certain Lunar will return. Especially if Monty brings up the "as long as one nano survives", it leaves possibilities open.

Both Sun and Moon should get reset. However, they should also regain their memories and be held accountable for the things they've said/done.

I disagree. Neither of them should be, and Moon shouldn't have been either. Both brothers have made mistakes yes, that they need to make up for. Especially Moon, which is why I am banking on that 2%. He's got a lot to atone for. Plus having them both be reset to just regain their memories feels a little redundant.

I don't like what the writers have done with Sun's character. I can't even remember the last time we've seen him genuinely happy in a lore episode (at least for more than five minutes). Sun always sounds like he's one minor inconvenience away from snapping, even after he actually snapped.

Sun has not had a single break ever since this all started. Dealing with Eclipse, fighting for control over his own body, being put in perilous situations, trapped in his mind for a whole month. I don't need to mention the physical pain he endures because of it. He's had his own concerns and opinions pushed aside, everyone acts like they don't care about his emotions, nor does anyone listen. He's constantly reminded of his screw-ups. He's been called an idiot, useless, worthless, a coward, weak. Over and over. Even if people say it's a joke, Sun has made it clear that their words still hurt. No one takes him seriously.

Killing Bloodmoon, constantly being told what he *should* be, eventually hallucinating BM as the shock wore off, unintentionally trapping Moon in his mind after blowing up the bunker in a rage, fumbling with the magic circles, the BM hallucinations taunting him with his own darkest thoughts. The unaddressed trauma has built up for so long and now the dam is crumbling. The healthiest thing he could do at this point is have a breakdown. Multiple, in fact. But that's just me.

Moon is not a great brother. To be fair neither is Sun but at least Sun's trying to be better.

That I can agree with. Moon has made many empty promises, and he's not really made any effort to do better. He said he'd be better but he falls back on old habits. Especially with how he treats Sun. He is a selfishly selfless martyr who is stuck at his own occupant-of-one pity party. He always reroutes conversations to be about him and his woes. He doesn't take into consideration how his actions affect those around him, especially Sun. Which is why his choice to let KC live bothers me.

As for Sun, yes he isn't perfect, but he has been the one trying to make this whole thing work. He has had to accommodate everything to Moon's needs and wants. The show was his idea, to try and spend more time with his brother.

TSAMS desperately needs more female characters. All we've had this far are Earth and Roxy sometimes (not counting guest appearances).

I'm honestly fine with it just being Earth. Makes her more special in my opinion. I liked the concept when she was first introduced and was excited to see what the VAs would do. And I love her so far, and I'm eager to see what more they do with her.

As for Roxanne, still iffy about her. I don't watch her and Gregory's show.

Monty should have just assumed Eclipse was lying about letting Lunar live.

I had also suspected that Eclipse was going to just blow Lunar up anyway. I mean, it's perfectly in-character. But in Monty's defense, all he was focused on was helping Lunar get safe. He wasn't thinking about anything else.

Unpopular (?) Opinion Time: The Sun and Moon Show Edition!

I'm glad the Bloodmoon twins are dead. They were both annoying.

I'm pissed that they killed Lunar, but I highly doubt he'll stay dead. He's too loved by too much of the fandom.

Both Sun and Moon should get reset. However, they should also regain their memories and be held accountable for the things they've said/done.

I don't like what the writers have done with Sun's character. I can't even remember the last time we've seen him genuinely happy in a lore episode (at least for more than five minutes). Sun always sounds like he's one minor inconvenience away from snapping, even after he actually snapped.

Moon is not a great brother. To be fair neither is Sun but at least Sun's trying to be better.

TSAMS desperately needs more female characters. All we've had this far are Earth and Roxy sometimes (not counting guest appearances).

Monty should have just assumed Eclipse was lying about letting Lunar live.

@garbagechocolate & @ayyy-imma-ninja thoughts?

[coffee-prince-kyungsoo]

My Monarch Butterfly (1/?)

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

warnings: None

word count: 1.7K

summary: Eddie and reader just chatting, jason being an asshole and robin and reader talkin. Not much :)

(Gif not mine- Credits to owner @gaiath )

AN: I hope you guys enjoy the first part of this story, I don't normally write alot of FF but I couldn't help myself with Eddie Munson existing. Have you seen this man. If you like it, let me know! If you have any recs on what should happen next, be my guest to comment about it! hope you enjoy the first part!!!!

Masterlist | Part 1| Part 2 | Part 3 |Part 4

Hawkins high, the most agitating place for anyone who wasn’t a popular cheerleader or basketball player was a breeding ground for the socialites to chat, bond, and even date. HHS had its little clicks and groups. You had the cheerleaders who didn’t really care for anyone outside their little friend groups, which quite frankly was getting pretty old. And of course, you had the jocks. Who quite frankly were the most annoying and obnoxious out of all the groups. Y/N on the hand was one of the only people who didn’t belong to a single group, always floating to different groups. She was what everyone called a kind soul. It didn’t matter who needed help it was always Y/N to reach out and help people. If not, others would approach the timid girl. For her it wasn’t always this easy. Being a Mexican was something that caused a lot of bullying growing up. She always lived in Hawkins but attended a school near Hawkins due to her mother being a 4th grade teacher. Her father had passed away due to cancer when she was only five. She didn’t really remember much of him but had little snippets of him and even dreamed of him. She would cry at times when she thought of her father. Because she couldn’t tell which of her memories was simply that or a dream, they all seemed to blend in. But it mostly sucked for her mother. Her mom Amanda went through a phase where she would barely speak or eat. At eleven, Y/N took care of her mother. They had been living off her dad’s life insurance for the time being after her mom was fired due to not showing up or being completely disinterested when teaching. This all stopped when a family friend got into an argument with Amanda, because of this argument, Amanda had gotten her act together. She applied to different school around their area. After multiple rejections, her last interview she was desperate that she spoke nothing but the truth. Y/N, her child was the reason she needed this job and that she needed to get her life back. The school accepted her on the spot, principal Howards understood her struggles and gave her a chance. That was in sixth grade. Now a senior and just turning eighteen she was able to finally able to semi relax, aside from final exams and deciding to stay in Hawkins or going to college.

“Y/N! Levántate por favor! ¡Se te va a hacer tarde! I won’t drop you off this time if you’re late! I swear to sweet baby Jesus you won’t being going to the mall this weekend if that’s the case! Y/N!”

“Ya voy! I’m brushing my teeth!”

“No me conteste así! Apúrate”

The door slammed shut as Y/N’s mom rushed to her car, her engine could be heard throughout the whole street.

“Jesus, she needs a goddamn exorcist.” Y/N giggled as she was packing up her things getting ready to head out the door.

“I didn’t even answer in a bad way, she wasn’t even gonna hear me in the bathroom with that loud ass vent, right Leo.” Y/N rubbed her cat’s fur and gave him a peck in-between his green eyes. To which he purred.

As she started to bike her way to school, she listened to some classical music. It was something she did know her dad loved; he would often put her to sleep with some Vivaldi, his all time favorite. She was pushed with a gust of wind from a van barreling towards the prison that kept most of Hawkins for four years. It was a hard world. The van was blaring black sabbath, she knew all too well who drove the van, Eddie Munson. She wasn’t going to lie; she did have a small crush on him since middle school. But always pushed those fantasies to the back of her mind due to the age and grade gap. Now it changed when Eddie was help back not once, but twice. She would sometimes dream of him, both being in an embrace or just simply enjoying each other’s company. But she was just being silly.

Eddie was drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, simply enjoying his alone time before being berated in the halls of Hawkins high. It didn’t bother him anymore but still, who wanted to hear insults being thrown at them early in the morning. As he was speeding through the almost empty roads, he spotted Y/N on her bicycle with her Walkman. As he sped, he looked at her through the rearview mirror, she had a little smile. Seemed like she was enjoying her alone time as well. Eddie would always see her in the halls. She was always so quiet, seemed to never be late to any class, never spoke in class unless someone asked for help, or if the teacher needed her to answer a problem on the board. Eddie had always thought she was cute. He would never admit it, but he did. Growing up he would see her around the town. He knew her dad passed away. He felt sorry, he knew what it was like to not have your father present. He at least had his uncle Wayne, his father figure, but from what he knew, she didn’t.

You didn’t know when you got on school grounds. You guess it was just muscle memory and the lack of attention you pay when you’re on your way to school. As you got off and started to walk to the bike rack you noticed smoke coming out of Eddie’s car, which wasn’t parked far from where the staff stood. You don’t know how you were able to keep your heart from coming out of your chest but some how you did, it was a complete mystery to you. Three knocks on Eddie’s van window was all it took for Eddie to acknowledge you.

“Hi, just wanted to let you know that the staff is out today and it’s pretty clear that you’re smoking. Just a little heads up.” After a little pause Eddie smiled in your direction. With the number of butterflies fluttering in your body you were surprised you didn’t float off.

“Thanks Y/N, can’t have any write-ups before graduation, can I?” With a simple nod, you walked off to your first class.

 “Thanks Y/N, can’t have any write-ups...” God, that was the best I could come up with. Jesus Eds.”

Eddie mocked his response as he lowered his head on the steering wheel. Eddie had gotten his things ready and walked off to class before the first bell.

Eddie walked into his first class of the day, one of the only classes he didn’t have with Y/N.

“Thank you for joining us this fine morning Munson.” Sighed Ms. Wilks.

“Of course your grace, my chariot seemed to be on the slow side today.” Eddie bowed with his arm extended out.

“Obviously, have you seen the piece of junk you drive you freak.”

“Jason…. How does it feel to touch balls all day?”

“Boys enough, or the both of you will stay for detention, Munson to your seat.”

The room seemed to be filled with snickers after the little scene both boys caused.

“Please turn to pag-“

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr. Johnson wanted me to hand you these papers Ms. Wilks.” Y/N softly spoke after knocking and interrupting Wilks.

“Thank you, can you please set them down in the basket at the back of class please. Okay class, turn to page 36 of the work book and answer..”

As Ms. Wilks continued to give instructions Y/N walked to the back of class to drop the papers in the basket, the basket that was right behind Eddie.

“Hi Y/N, guess today’s your lucky day, you get to see a whole lot of me.”

Y/N lowered her head down and let out a soft giggle.

“Pay attention Eddie, can’t have you getting any write-ups, can we?”

Eddie continued to watch her as she did what she was told. Not aware of a certain pair of eyes looking at the whole interaction.

“Munson, pay attention.”

“Yup no issue Wilks.”

‘Oh my lord baby Jesus, his smile is to die for!’ was all you could think! As you made your way out the class and headed back to your own lecture a small wave made its way to Eddie. The boy couldn’t help but let out a wide grin. You swear on everything you love that this crush was something but puppy love, you didn’t think he could be interested in you, there was no way.

“Thank you for leaving the papers Y/N”

“It’s really nothing sir.” You made your way back to your seat, next to the only person in the school who you could consider to be your only friend. Robin.

“You look…. I don’t know, you just look like you’re happy, but also in a deep thought. Care to share?”

“It’s Eddie, recently we’ve been crossing paths and talking more frequently. For example, when we were at the market, he just came up and started talking to me. We stayed in the same two isles for over an hour, I guess my butterflies are acting up. It’s stupid but- it’s nothing, it’s not like he could be interested in me. Truly I’m just speaking out of craziness.”

“Well, my sweet little sugar plum, you never know. I mean when was the last time anyone was ever approached to have a friendly conversation with Munson, aside from being recruited into hellfire. I’m not gonna say he likes you; I don’t want you to get over excited over something just for me to be wrong, you know? But it doesn’t hurt to keep talking to him.”

“I know, but knowing me, I’ll start to get over attached and get my heart broken over something that would never happen. Plus, maybe he just needs a friend. Not saying his other friends are bad but- I don’t know. I just hate how everyone is so mean to him. He doesn’t deserve that. No one does. Maybe Jason and his pack of idiots and their rude girlfriends, but still, I just wish they weren’t so mean to him. He’s really sweet, well from when we were talking.”

These little heart to hearts was something normal between you two. It was a good thing this was the only time robin knew how to whisper without having the whole class listen in to the whole conversation. It was easy for Y/N but maybe she’ll learn to be outspoken, it was all Robin tried to do after being in a friendship with this girl for years.

[whirlybirbs]

               (   another gif by @unearthlydust​ from this beautiful set !   )

✪   —   VACANT MIRRORS  ;  B.B.  |  3/?

summary: you find out about bucky’s past, he finds out about yours. 

pairing: bucky barnes / f!reader

tags: set before & during tfatws, friends to lovers, therapy positive, trauma healing techniques, ptsd mentions, the normalization of anxiety disorders, and a good ol’ slow burn

word count: 6.4k, va va voom

a/n: oh look out here comes the plot, charactization, and growth between to pals who are maybe starting to feel a little something begin to take shape. but ignore that, there’s danger afoot. no spoilers for tfatws here!

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“You know I have to ask these questions. It’s part of the check-in.”

“Yeah,” you fire back, flat enough to warrant Dr. Hart’s scowl to grow. You can’t see it over the phone, but you know the way her words whip around you means she’s upset, “I know.”

“If you’re not following the action plan set out by the judge,” she begins, leaning forward as her tone drops into a scalding hot sort of seriousness on the other end, “You will go to prison. You know this. So, do you want to spend ten years of your life behind bars? Are you trying to get yourself locked up? Come on.”

You can’t look up from your computer’s screen. Or maybe you can, but right now, there’s a dangerous mixture of anger and guilt and frustration boiling under your skin.

“I’m trying.”

“Trying isn’t good enough for the GRC,” Dr. Hart snaps, “You know this. They’re giving you a chance — they know you’re talented. You have the ability here to go straight, to earn a living, to finally make up for those years of blackhat work.”

“Everything I did,” you fire back, ripping your eyes up to meet Dr. Hart’s, “Was for others. I didn’t get a fucking penny.”

“You’re not Robin Hood,” she shakes her head as her tone softens, “We all make mistakes. But, everything has a consequence. You know this. And this conversation isn’t even considering the other charges.”

“You know the extortion case would never hold up in court.”

Dr. Hart sighs raggedly. “And I don’t intend on ever seeing it play out in court, because you’re going to follow the conditions of your pardon.”

“The GRC is a bunch of fascists—”

“Enough,” she snaps, “If you want to go and appeal your case with the judge, be my guest, but I can almost guarantee you’ll be perp-walked out of that Federal courtroom in cuffs.”

She’s right.

Dr. Hart is right.

Your knee is bouncing, up and down and up and down. You’re wound up around yourself, arms crossed tight, brows knotted. With a shaky exhale, you just nod. You breathe, and you remind yourself that she’s right. She’s right, she’s right, she’s right. It’s not worth it. Dipping yourself back into that world, the layer of the web beneath the surface, isn’t worth it.

The GRC is your way out.

Just be a good little girl and do as you're told.

“So, I’m going to ask you again,” Dr. Hart begins, pen clicking alive on the other end of the phone call, “...Have you engaged in any illegal activities online in the last seven days?”

                                                       ◦   ◦   ◦   ◦   

Inessa Sidrova’s photo stares up at him from its place on the speckled marble counter, stacked neatly next to his notebook where her name is scrawled in chicken scratch — between two other names: Zemo and Henrikson.

His laptop, technically on loan from the FBI, sits beside both.

(When Barnes had agreed in that closed doors meeting to the conditions of his pardon, a certain FBI agent by the name of Jimmy Woo had been rather insistent that Barnes needed a personal computer in order to carry out his portion of the conditions insofar as tracking down the remaining HYDRA pawns in the States. Woo had also insisted, to the agreement of Dr. Raynor, that a personal computer would help better acclimate Barnes to the new world he’d been dropped into.

Woo was even nice enough to take an hour of his own time to show Bucky enough to get started — but was whisked away for some investigation out in New Jersey.)

Bucky rubs the cold vibranium of his left palm into his eye, then exhales long and slow.

He’s done all he can. And still, no leads on the woman.

Rounding the kitchen island, he digs his cell from his pocket. He goes back to staring at that text — the one he’d laughed out loud at the moment it lit up his phone — and he can feel that ol’ bite of anxiousness creep into his arms. His fingertips tingle.

On the television, a laugh track plays over a clip of The Three Stooges. Blue eyes flick upward, and he partially wishes a ladder would put him out of his own self-induced misery.

Outside, the antics of a Saturday night in Brooklyn roll on.

In the last few days he’s parsed through his thoughts enough to realize it’s not telling you that scares him — no, it’s telling you the truth. The whole truth. All of it. After all, the good comes with a lot of bad; the sort of bad you chain in a chest and sink in the ocean. And Bucky finds that, even still, the good is questionable at best. The good is… small. Microscopic. Completely and totally tainted by the fuckin’ decades of brainwashed, war dog bullshit.

He groans and drops his head back against the wall.

He tries, for the next twenty minutes, to formulate some sort of reply to your text message. But, half the battle is figuring out what to say, and the other half is actually typing it out. This whole flip phone purchase was really starting to sting like regret — and as much as Bucky loved technology back before the war, and all the magical possibilities it held, he can’t help but feel like an ornery old man now.

It’s the change. Steve was right. Too much change.

He can’t find the space button and he can’t figure out how to delete the random 3 he’d accidentally punched in — so, with a grumpy huff of disapproval, Bucky simply dials your number.

You pick up on the third ring.

“Don’t you know it’s Saturday?” your voice is a welcomed sound, “The History Channel is running a bunch of old war documentaries you might enjoy, grandpa.”

Bucky snorts, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie. “What makes you think I’d wanna watch that shit?”

“Everyone knows that old men like two things,” your voice is light, half-distracted from the sounds of it, “World War Two, or grilling. And honestly, you don’t strike me as the grilling type.”

“I like a good burger.”

“Yeah?” you snort, and Bucky can hear you shift your phone from one ear to the other, “Is that why you called? To hint at being hungry?”

“No,” he exhales, looking out the window, “No, I was trying to reply to your text but I can’t find the fuckin’ space button. Calling is easier.”

“Oh my god—”

“Shut up,” he barks with a laugh, sitting up, “Don’t even start — are you hungry?”

“Almost always, why?”

“Got any plans tonight?”

“... You do know who you’re asking, right?”

Bucky grins, a little boyish and a little tired. “Good point. Loser.”

“Oh, shut up. You’re the one calling me to hangout,” you snort, leaning to prop your feet up on your desk and lean back. Your chair wheels backwards, far enough for you to get a good look down the street. It’s a nice night, cool enough, and it seems like the whole borough is awake, “But, I’m only hanging out if you tell me what the fuck is up with court mandated therapy. I can’t wait another three days.”

Your anxiety has been pricked the last few days over it.

“... Do I get to pick the place?”

You roll your eyes. “Fine.”

“Great,” he exhales tightly, “I hope you’re in the mood for sushi.”

                                                       ◦   ◦   ◦   ◦   

Izzy’s is busy, but there’s privacy in the bustle.

Bucky had buzzed your apartment’s ringer and you’d flown down the stairs, looking… alive. The sort of alive that was new — like a fresh bud beginning to bloom in spring. It had made him grin, and he’d watched you push a tress of hair behind your ear as you decided it was warm enough for no jacket tonight. The light of the crosswalk sign lit you up like a star.

He was sweating.

Dr. Raynor was right — that was it, of course it was — that it was getting too warm for his usual outfit. So, he’d settled on the next best thing: a sweatshirt that was big enough and black enough that he could bury himself in it. His hands are tucked neatly into the pockets.

No gloves tonight.

He feels naked.

He shoulders the door and holds it open with the toe of his boot as you duck towards the back of the restaurant. There’s a booth in the back by a large bamboo plant — you weave through the place with a new found confidence. There’s anxiousness in your shoulders but it melts when you look back at Bucky. Like a watchful guard dog, he nods.

You settle into the booth, toss your jacket in the corner, and smirk.

“I get out sometimes,” Bucky remarks before you can even say anything. He shifts in the booth and reaches up to scratch his cheek with his right hand, “Not often, but I do.”

“I didn’t say anything...”

“You were going to,” he nearly smirks back, his brows raised as he adjusts the chopsticks on the table, “I know that look.”

You snort, nudging his boot under the table. That works a huffed little laugh out the man across from you. Almost immediately you can sense anxiousness rolling off him — it’s the tightness in his mouth that gives him away, the way he’s fussing with the soy sauce dish and trying to get it to line up perfectly with the marbling on the table. Worry flashes in your eyes.

“Bucky.”

He raises his head.

“You alright?” you ask quietly.

“You have to promise not to flip out.”

Your brows knot tightly — but before you can even question what the fuck he means, he’s casually dropping his other hand onto the table.

And you almost don’t notice at first. Your brain fills the gaps in, figuring it’s his glove. But, then you blink and his hand catches the light and you realize it’s not leather. It’s glittering obsidian, garnished with gold, and it’s moving. Flexing. Seams bending and warping and there’s a gentle hum coming from the appendages and you squint because he’s tapping his fingers on the table and there’s a metallic tik-tik-tik that meets your ears.

Then, your eyes jump to his face.

He looks pained.

You’re confused.

And then you’re not.

“You’re —”

You slap a hand over your own mouth. You have to promise not to flip out. Your eyes are eighty miles wide and your jaw is falling open and you’re leaning forward, whispering in a rushed tone because what the fuck.

“You’re that Bucky?!”

Oh, you feel stupid.

The hostess appears, suddenly. You snap backwards in the booth, Bucky tucks his hand away, and you both muster forced smiles to the waitress. She’s young. Pretty. Her name-tag says Sarah.

She asks about drinks.

Bucky gets a beer.

Slowly, you knock your knuckles against the table and drop your head into your hand. The look on your face is exhausted. “Do you guys have Mai Tais?”

The answer is yes. And you’re glad. Because you’re going to fucking need it.

The two of you are quiet until the drinks come — avoiding one anothers gazes for completely different reasons. Bucky is sheepish, a bit mortified, like he always is when people recognize him. It’s why he shaved his fuckin’ head. It worked well enough but… the arm was usually a dead giveaway.

Meanwhile, you’re wondering if you could shave your own head and disappear. Because there’s no easy way to explain the weird elation swirling in your chest right now.

Bucky’s first to speak. His beer is in his good hand. He inhales quickly, eyes darting to you as he leans forward and whispers incredulously. He speaks quickly and his words are pointed with an edge of curiosity.

“...What do you mean ‘that Bucky’?”

“Y’know, I knew there was a reason you acted like you needed a senior citizen discount. And you know exactly what I mean,” you rush out all while waving your Mai Tai and jabbing the side with the umbrella towards him, “Listen, this is a lot to take in, Mr. Avenger.”

“I am not an Avenger—”

“You helped reverse the Snap. You’re the Winter Soldier. That makes you an Avenger—”

Bucky’s shaking his head, eye screwed shut tightly because the sudden equation to his past self being considered a hero is like being socked in the mouth. He stutters over his words and shakes his head more vigorously, like he’s trying not to hear what you’re saying.

“I am not the Winter Soldier. Not anymore. And it’s not like I’m not on the fuckin’ roster, doll—”

You hold a finger up, stopping him there, and take a long sip of your sunset colored drink. You swallow. You exhale. Bucky swigs his beer.

“One, don’t call me doll,” you say curtly, then raise a second finger. You lean in and squint, “Two… Christ, the haircut really makes a big difference, doesn’t it?”

“That’s what everyone keeps saying,” he sighs raggedly, dismissing your scrutiny.

You puff your cheeks out and exhale. Leaning back in the booth, you try not to feel so fucking insane.

“...I can never have you over now.”

Bucky’s brows narrow quickly and his eyes snap to yours. “What?”

“I can’t have you over,” you explain slower with your eyes rooted to the soy sauce in the corner, “Because I don’t think I could ever handle you seeing my signed and framed Captain America poster from his USO tour in 1943.”

Bucky’s face is deadpan. “You’re kidding.”

“I really wish I was,” you gripe, “It’s an original.”

“...You’re a Cap girl,” he says suddenly, leaning back with this look in his eye. It’s less of a question. You can’t pin it down. It looks like he's damn near traumatized.

Bucky thinks — honestly — that this is the cherry on top. Every girl back then was a Cap girl, too. It figures, now, in this new century where he’s making new friends that… as per usual, Steve gets the cake. That fuckin’ pint sized bastard.

He’ll have to tell him about this.

You yank your eyes up to Bucky’s face. His mortification is shifting to surprise to amusement. You’re fast to sit up, mouth opening to fire a retort — but Bucky’s suddenly really enjoying the look of pure horror on your face at the insinuation. He’s smirking. Plain as day. He swigs his beer.

“No, no—” you raise a finger, “No, stop it. Don’t make it fuckin’ weird, Bucky, it’s not like I have his name tattoo’d on my ass. And I knew a girl in college who did.”

His brows rise sharply and you’re finding you’re regretting everything that’s coming out of your mouth.

“Stop looking at me like that,” you guffaw, gesturing for him to show you his hand again, “I wanna see.”

Bucky sighs and plucks his hand from his hoodie pocket.

With a sort of tenderness Bucky wasn’t prepared to handle, you take his metallic hand into your own. There’s an immediate twinge — one that’s procured by flashes of violence from years of being a walking weapon. He breathes, and he reminds himself that this arm is not the same that tethered him to HYDRA all those years ago.

This arm is his, it is not him.

The sensation is different. He isn’t used to anyone touching him like this; he’s used to the feeling of flesh on the other end of a punch, or a throat caught in his palm. Not the gentle pass of your fingers, delicate and purposeful, over his knuckles.

You turn over his hand, eyes alight with curiosity — and Bucky, desperate to stamp out the hotness growing in his gut, moves quickly to flick your nose.

“Ow—”

“Don’t stare,” he says coyly, “It’s rude.”

The waitress is back. His hand is tucked away, and you wrestle the stupid expression off your face long enough to order a plate of assorted maki rolls and some fried tofu. Bucky orders what seems like his usual — shrimp tempura and spicy tuna rolls.

The waitress, Sarah, disappears with a smile.

You’re grinning.

“So… Does this make me the sidekick?” you whisper playfully.

“Shut up,” Bucky laughs, his lips almost darting into a smile.

You cock your head, pushing your chopsticks across the table with a horribly coy look on your face. It’s comical. “...I think this makes me the sidekick.”

“It — stop it — it does not make you the sidekick,” Bucky says slowly as he sips his beer and pins you in the booth across from him, “I’m not a hero. You’d have better luck asking Cap on that one.”

You grow silent. There’s a question hanging on your tongue. You’re wrestling with yourself — Bucky can see that much. He frowns.

“Spit it out, Goose.”

You blink. “Was that a Top Gun reference?”

“You wanted to be the sidekick.”

You wave it off, blinking into your Mai Tai. Your voice is quiet. Even as you speak, there’s a hesitancy akin to walking on eggshells. “What happened to Cap? Is he… alive? He’s gone off the grid. It’s, like, this massive conspiracy theory online.”

“He’s upstate.”

You blink.

“That’s ominous.”

Bucky shrugs. “Someday I’ll take you. It’s… nice.”

You go quiet. You freeze, drink halfway to your mouth. Bucky can’t help but smirk at that. His laugh is more of a scoff than anything.

“Relax, Miss America.”

“Shut up — do you mean that?”

“What, that I think you’re in love with Captain America?”

“No, you bastard, that you’ll take me. To meet him.”

Bucky’s words are easy. They roll off his tongue without a second thought. He feels… okay. Like this part is okay. Not as bad as he thought it could be. His anxiousness isn’t as heavy now. He feels like he isn’t losing you. But then again, he hasn’t gotten to the bad part yet.

“He’s my best friend,” Bucky explains plainly, “And so are you.”

The admission is warm. As easy as breathing. Two months in the making.

“Your only friend,” you say quietly, offering the joke as a cover for the softening tone that dances over your words. It’s affection, you realize, as you mimic his shrug, “But, go on.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” Bucky chirps, “But, yea, I mean it. He’d like you.”

You raise your chin, wiggling a bit in the booth. It’s pride — and as much as Bucky likes the look of it, he can’t handle the ridiculousness that comes along with it. But, it’s sort of comforting. He knows this playfulness, this easiness, it’s all because he’s him. You trust him. In.a way, it strikes Bucky with guilt. There are wall of his still built up high. Maybe they’re slowly coming down, but… he’s like a stray dog, slow to trust.

“Safe to say,” you breathe, “I have a few questions.”

“I figured as much.”

You sip your drink and swallow. You raise a hand. “But — I wanna know the boundaries. I don’t want to… I don’t want to pry about shit I have no business knowing, alright? It’s your life and even if we are friends, I don’t need to know everything.”

The relief is almost immediate. He thumbs the label of his beer.

“Ask anything. But I can’t promise I’ll be able to give you the answers.”

“And I’ll leave it at that,” you say sternly, propping your elbow up on the table and offering your pinky finger, “Until you want to talk about it. Promise.”

He crooks his pinky in yours, squeezing gently. You smile.

Sarah comes back with the food, and then Bucky offers his usual half-exhausted, half-amused smirk.

“You get three questions now. Then, we shut up and eat.”

You fold your hands neatly over themselves, eyeing your food as you try your best to sort out what questions come up with the most urgency. There’s… a lot. I mean, everyone knew about the Avengers — and everyone had their opinions. The Sokovia Accords, Lagos, the Blip… and SHIELD. Years of bullshit culminating around those who were considered the heroes. The kickback usually ended up on everyday citizens like you. After the initial amazement, the reality of it all set in.

But, to Bucky’s point, he wasn’t really an Avenger.

Nowadays, there really wasn’t a team at all. No up-state compound, no leader, no Stark and no Rogers.

You’re sure the GRC will try — that the military will try. Morale and hope and blah, blah, blah.

You narrow your eyes. “How old are you?”

It’s quick. “One hundred and six.”

“How’d they keep you alive that long?”

There’s a wince that flashes across his face like he’s been stabbed with a white hot poker in the ribs. You see a twitch of irritation bubble across his lips. Not with you. No, it’s that this question is still hard for him to answer. Bucky exhales sharply.

“Next question.”

You feel a pang of guilt flare in your chest. You move along.

“Who kept you alive that long?”

“The Russians. HYDRA, if you wanna get specific.”

You exhale and settle on the fact you now have more questions than answers. But, you nod and snatch up your chopsticks. Enough of the twenty questions game.

In all honesty, it’s not like Bucky’s existence was common knowledge. The Winter Soldier was known mostly, sure, to those who had floated in the same circles as him when he was nothing but a rabid cur on a choke chain. He can’t help but be a bit thankful for the minor erasure of his new self — sure, in the eyes of the U.S. government he was a high-level threat to be reintegrated as soon as possible and surveyed at all times. But, to the average New Yorker, he was just another person. Everyone was so used to seeing the heroes in their costumes with their bigger than life personas and…

Bucky was just Bucky.

Even he didn’t really know who that was. He was starting to.

His pardon had come with some flak from some of the more political news outlets but… somehow, the details of the Winter Soldier’s exact crimes were being kept silent. Probably to avoid panic. And, even then, the connection between the newly alive James Buchanan Barnes and The Winter Soldier hadn’t been made yet in the public eye. He was glad.

The haircut definitely helped.

It’s like he was a walking classified redaction.

Bucky has a sushi roll in his mouth when he finally speaks. “For such a Captain American fan, I’m surprised you didn’t recognize me.”

“Oh, you’re really not gonna let that go, huh?” you say as you chew, covering your mouth. You swallow and waggle your chopsticks at him, “Listen, it’s been a while since I’ve… y’know, had my Avengers phase. That was years ago. It was at its peak when I worked for SHIELD. And besides, you’re kinda new to the whole superhero scene.”

Bucky frowns. “You worked for SHIELD...?”

“For a year,” you say tightly, “Back before the collapse.”

“Only a year?”

“It was for my graduate program,” you wave it off, “I won out on the most competitive internship NYU had to offer. I was working within their cybersecurity division. I will say I spent more time trying to sort of email phishing scams than anything else, though. I’m sure they saw my record and wanted to keep me away from the juicy stuff.”

Bucky squints.

You offer a sheepish shrug.

“I got into trouble when I was younger,” you sip your drink and sigh, “I always liked computers. I used to spend all my time on forum sites just… reading and talking to people and figuring out how these sites actually worked, so learning how to write my own code was just the next step. When I was fifteen, I learned how to tap phones. At sixteen, I was hijacking my neighbor’s internet conenctions and remotely controlling his laptop.”

“Sounds like a good time.”

“Yea, well, he was a sitting Senator who was having an affair with the nanny,” you mutter, “And I was stupid enough to try and blackmail him for cash. I wish I could say I learned my lesson.”

Bucky exhales long and hard at that, like he knows where that snap of misguided judgement goes. It’s not like he’s passing judgement onto you, but… like he knows the feeling. And you manage to not feel so small, then — telling him this is easy. It’s not your favorite part of your life by any means, but Bucky is listening. Really listening.

He fiddles with the paper wrapper of the chopsticks.

“So, less a Goose and more a Kevin Poulsen type, huh?”

You snort. “For an old man, I’m surprised you know who that is. But, I wasn’t hacking into the Pentagon at seventeen. I was too busy doing community service.”

“HYDRA had their eyes on him in the 90s,” Bucky mumbles through a bite of spicy tuna, the memory popping into his mind and flying out before he can stop it, “I remember… I thought his username was stupid.”

“Oh, you didn’t like Dark Dante?”

“Like I said,” Bucky chortles, “Stupid.”

“You wouldn’t have liked mine, then,” you smirk lightly, “It’s worse.”

Bucky raises his brows, somehow doubting that entirely. “Really?”

“...I was hackrabb1t for a long time. Y’know, with a ‘one’ for the ‘i’,” you cringe, “People kept thinking I was a furry.”

There’s a pause. Bucky’s face is set in an unreadable emotion. It’s confusion mixed with amusement mixed with… something else. When he speaks, he clears his throat and tilts his head.

“It’s clever. But,” a pause, “What is a furry? I’ve been seeing that word all over PlentyOfFish.”

Your jaw flies open. You raise your hands as your head reels around. Bucky has a look on his face like he knows, he knows he shouldn’t have asked and he definitely shouldn’t have given you enough context to know where he’s seen that phrase before, because now you’re looking at him like he has seventeen heads and they’re all on fire.

“Y’know what, nevermind—”

“—Oh, no, no, there’s way too much to unpack here,” you lean forward, “You’re on PlentyOfFish?”

“ChristianMingle wasn’t really my speed — stop laughing.”

“Shut up — stop it, stop — this is too much,” you say with a high voice, “If you get catfished, I’m not helping you track the person down…”

“—What the hell is a catfish?” he nearly cries, raising both hands in a desperate shrug, “I don’t even know what any of these words mean.”

“Oh, you sweet, naive, innocent, man—”

“No, no, no, no,” he chirps, raising a finger with a deadly look of seriousness on his face, “No, I am not naive or sweet or any of the above. I’ll take ‘cute’, sure, but none a’ those.”

“Is that what the furries call you on PlentyOfFish? Cute?”

He drops his head back against the booth and stares at the ceiling.

“Our friendship was a mistake, rabbit.”

You choke out a laugh. “Shut up, you walking claw machine.”

You’re both laughing now — quieter but sustained and everytime you think you’ve calmed down enough to sip your Mai Tai, you just have to look at the distraught, scruffy man across from you to break into another fit of muffled laughter. Finally, after what feels like forever, you both manage to calm down enough to finish the plates in front of you.

There’s a warmth that’s settled in Bucky’s chest — it’s eaten away at the usual jitter in his legs, the anxious twitch of his fingers. It’s a different emotion. Acceptance, maybe. Comfort. Affection.  

Then, while you’re piling the last bit of sushi rice into your mouth when your phone, set on the side of the table, begins to go off. It hums erratically, dancing in a circle, and all you do is stare at the name flashing across the screen. You’re smiling, hugging her. It’s from Jaimie’s wedding — out in some big, wide open orchard with the sun setting behind you. The picture there is old; you were both different people then.

Before… everything.

MOM Morristown, NJ

You scowl and stare.

Bucky blinks.

“You gonna get that?”

Quickly, you snap out of it. You reach and silence the buzzing with two quick taps. Quietly, you offer up a somber sigh.

“I never do.”

Bucky frowns again, this time with a worried look that digs deep into his eyebrows. You ignore it on purpose, pushing your plate away and leaning back in the booth. He knows what you’re doing — you’re avoiding his gaze, and therefore his own questions.

“Rabbit.”

“Oh, is that my new nickname, then?”

“It fits,” he chirps before crossing his arms, strategically hiding his metallic hand, “What’s up?”

You grow quiet — then it spills out.

“I can’t talk to her.”

“Why?”

You chew your lip. You bite your tongue and you hold back on the finer points of your anger — ones dredged up by the still present sting of your check-in with Dr. Hart this afternoon.

Here it comes.

“As a part of my pardon, I was ordered no-contact with my family,” you exhale, controlling the level of your voice, reciting the court papers you’d read over and over and over, “It was deemed that further contact would impact my progress towards reformed behavior and judgment.”

Bucky’s eyes are wide. His jaw is tight.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘pardon’?”

It’s your turn to cross your arms now, to ignore the sting of his look. It’s the kind that screams disappointment more than anything. You hate that you’re getting it from Bucky of all people.

“Like I said, I didn’t learn my lesson when I was a kid,” you shirk, “Last year I was arrested on a number of counts — I’d been evading the FBI, CIA, all of them, for years. I was doing it all for people like me. The ones who got left behind.”

Bucky’s tone is flat. It’s serious. His next sentence is less of a question, more of an order. The cadence is rhythmic and it reminds you of your brother the night he found out about the first time you’d been arrested; you decide, then, that Jaimie and Bucky would have gotten along.

“What did you do?”

“Whatever I could,” you wave your hands, “Identity theft, falsified documents, insurance fraud. Anything. There were people, like me, that in a blink, lost everything. Accidents, deaths, evictions and no one did anything for us. The insurance agencies wouldn’t cover damages related to The Snap. Life insurance policies, social security… It all got snatched up by people at the top while the system collapsed around us. I had to pay for my brother’s funeral out of pocket. And there were hundreds of thousands of people just like me, just trying to get by. And everything failed us.”

Bucky is stuck in silence. It’s like mud, dragging him to the bottom of a pond — the sort that’s dredged with misery. In an instant, his veins are on fire with an anger he hadn’t felt in a while. It manifests itself in the tightening of his jaw. He rubs his face and props his elbows up on the table.

“Why won’t they let you see your family?”

You fiddle with your napkin.

“My brother… His wife was on maternity leave when she disappeared in the Blip,” you mutter, “She came back to no job, a dead husband, and no home. Their apartment complex had been abandoned. She’s trying her best to make ends meet. She lives with my Mom in our old home. Neither of them can find work. They… The court thought that I’d be influenced to do something if I was around them.”

“What, like help?”

“They see me as a criminal,” you manage, “But I’m useful, so they’re keeping me around.”

Silence falls between the two of you once more — and the sad look on your face makes Bucky’s chest tight. He can see anxiety beginning to spill over; you’re wringing the napkin, fiddling with the edges. Suddenly, Bucky realizes you’re feeling exactly how he was an hour or so ago.

Your voice is soft. “I’m sorry. I was going to tell you.”

“Looks like we’re two birds of a feather,” he says, knocking the toe of your sneaker with his boot, “Listen, we all do stupid shit. I’ve got a lot worse weighing me down. I get it.”

You look up, sadness glistening in your expression like sun off a lake. It’s harsh. He wants to look away.

He doesn’t.

“... So, that means you’re good with computers?”

                                                      ◦   ◦   ◦   ◦  

That’s how you find yourself in Bucky’s Brooklyn apartment at almost midnight, wandering behind him in the long halls and watching curiously as he digs his key from his pocket and shoulders the door open.

It’s a small apartment. One bed, one bath, a kitchenette and that’s really it.

For its size, it’s hardly lived in.

You suppose it makes sense — Bucky didn’t have a lot of personal belongings, and with the hints he’d dropped about his life before The Blip, you were beginning to understand that he may have never really had that much to begin with.

There’s a blanket on the floor by the television and a single couch pillow. It’s tucked in the corner, behind a small sofa. There’s a chair in the living room, one from an old dining set. At the kitchen counter, there’s a stack of papers and a single laptop. Even though all the kitchen’s wares are older models, the bones of the apartment are good. Bare, but good.

You stop in the doorway to the bedroom and stare at the untouched bed. The sheets are tucked tightly in the corners — there’s something militaristic about it. Across the hall is the bathroom. It’s small. You can see a few amenities scattered across the sink’s top.

Being in here feels something like an open wound.

It was lonely. Quiet. Cold.

“We need to make a trip to HomeGoods,” you mumble as Bucky flicks on the lights, “I get the whole minimalist thing, but sheesh.”

“I don’t have a lot,” he says, kicking off his boots by the door and shrugging off his jacket, “And I don’t need a lot either.”

You watch as his shoulders sag a bit, like he can finally let down his guard just a little in his own space. It’s endearing. You perch yourself up on the kitchen counter as your eyes follow him; he moves to fling open a cabinet and grabs a mug. Then, he hesitates.

“You want tea?” he asks over his shoulder.

“Tea?”

“Dr. Raynor said,” Bucky reaches for a container of tea bags from the top shelf. His henley lifts enough to flash a bit of skin along his lower back and you swear you see a scar, “It would help with my anxiety.”

You swing your legs a little. “Then sure.”

“You can use my Captain America mug,” he chirps, laughing a little to himself, “Seeing as you’re such a big fan…”

“God, I regret even saying anything to you,” you spit as you hop down and lean around him to get a look at the mug, “Did you seriously buy that?”

“It was a gift.”

“Bullshit.”

Bucky snorts as you shake your head and wander backwards, eyeing the rest of his apartment with a bit of astonishment. It’s really nothing impressive — but, you suppose it makes sense. Whatever meager disbursement that the government was willing to give Bucky for his efforts in fixing the Snap was better than nothing.

Your gaze hangs on the blanket in the corner.

He watches you; and he notes the sore sadness that dissolves your posture at the sight of the nest in the corner. A bit of shame colors his cheeks as he heats up the water. When Bucky speaks, it’s slow.

“The bed was too soft. I couldn’t sleep on it,” he shifts from foot to foot and focuses on taking the tea bags out and methodically wrapping the strings around the handles, “Dr. Raynor said that’s a typical thing for soldiers to experience when they come home from war.”

You’re quiet for a while after that, only speaking when he rounds the counter with your tea. He offers it up with a tilt of the head.

“You never got to come home, though, right?”

“No,” comes the short reply as you both watch the lights outside the window, “No, I didn’t. Not until now.”

You nudge his arm with yours. You lean a bit. Bucky leans back.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he manages after a sigh and sip of the tea, “I can’t just feel sorry for myself anymore. I’m trying to fix the wrongs I did — and that’s why I need your help.”

You quirk a brow. He reaches around you and grabs the stack of papers on the counter. With a steady grip, Bucky presents the photo of a woman who looks strikingly familiar. You can’t place her face, but there’s something about her that feels like a slap across the cheek. She’s young here, in a faded photo with tattered edges. Beside her is a man who is laughing. The photo is candid, and they’re both beautiful. They’re both  wearing a uniform — but you can’t place the era or location.

You turn to Bucky for answers.

“Back in the 70s, at the height of the Cold War, HYDRA was working in tandem with the Russians to spy on American forces,” he offers easily, staring out the window, “The American HYDRA cell hadn’t yet been planted. This man, Andrei Kuznetzov, was a spy. He was feeding the Americans information on the Russian nuclear program. His wife, the one in the photo, was ordered to kill him. She refused.”

Bucky’s fingers twitch.

His words are soaked through with pain.

“I,” he continues, “killed him.”

You hold your breath. Then you spare him a mournful look.

“Inessa Sidrova went on to help form the same HYDRA cell that ended up taking over SHIELD here in America,” Bucky mumbles, “She’s dangerous. There’s others like her, ones who I helped create, all over the world. But, she’s my top priority. I just haven’t had much luck tracking her down.”

“That’s why you need my help.”

“I’m 106 years old,” Bucky deadpans, “The microfiches at the library were getting a little tedious.”

“But,” you chirp with a sly smirk, “You figured out how to set up a PlentyOfFish account?”

He shoulders you again as you sip your tea and laugh.

“Shoulda never said anything,” Bucky grumbles, “Dr. Raynor thought it was a good idea. Y’know, to get back out in the world.”

“I can promise you,” you say with a stern shake of the head, “The metal arm will get you plenty of chicks and dudes in due time.”

“Good to know,” Bucky replies as his words lilt with a playful sort of questioning that you purposefully ignore. You’re not feeding his ego today. Maybe tomorrow, after you take a crack at figuring out where this woman is.

It’s going to be a long night.

[whydoyouwantmyname]

One year later (Part 5)

Masterlist

-A year later, you were standing at the counter, coffee in hand as you enjoyed the quiet bliss of your apartment. The sound of the door opening and closing bringing you back to reality as you looked towards Sam, his body covered in the grey sweatsuit, and sweat rimmed the collar as he looked at you, “How was your run?”

“Great.” He stated, almost sounding out of breath, as you put your coffee down and turned towards your fridge, pulling out his bottle of orange juice and tossing it towards him, his hands lifting to catch it with ease. Before opening it, and taking a sip he continued, “So you know how I was telling you about the blonde hunk dude that has been lapping me every day this week?”

“Yeah, did you finally lap him?”

“No but I found out who he is.”

“Is he the new love of your life?” You joked

“No, but he is Steve Rogers.” You paused, coffee in hand again as you looked at him in surprise, “You have been having a foot race with Captain America for the past week?”

“Yeah, and I invited him to come to the VA, maybe sit in on a meeting. Told him I needed him to make me look good to one of the female counselors.”

“Oh really, bet she is a real classy girl. However, maybe you should have invited him to dinner, less people to question him about his life.”

“I don’t think that the guys will harass him too much, do you?”

“No, but you have failed to take into account that Melody has the biggest crush on him, and loves to ask a million questions.” You smiled, before taking a sip, the realization slowly coming to his face.

-That evening he opened the nightstand drawer, and glanced at the box that was sitting there. You both knew it was there, and you were sure Sam wouldn’t care if you just one day took the contents out and put it on your finger, but you didn’t want to take the moment of him asking you away from him. It wasn’t like he was scared to ask you, but you had both been so busy in the last year that it always slipped his mind. Besides, it wasn’t like you didn’t love him, because if that was true, you wouldn't still be living with him, or sleeping in his bed. 

-He never told you about the bed

-When he came to the VA, Sam looked at him, and said, “I have someone I want you to meet.” 

“Is it the girl you want to impress?”

“Yeah, she is in her office right now, if you got a minute we can go.” 

“Sure.” He replied, thinking he meant office in the building, Sam scooping up his keys and jacket as he led Steve to Dagger. The drive was quiet, and upon arriving Steve questioned, “I thought you said she was at her office?”

“I did, my guess is my dining room table is covered in her notes.” He smiled, as Steve raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t mention you were living with the girl.”

“I guess I left that part out, guess it might be a good time to mention I plan on marrying her one day.” Sam responded as they exited the car. 

“Honey, I hope you’re decent, I have a guest.” Sam called as you turned around, and looked at the two men.

“Well, I hope he likes Nova and chicken marsala.” You smiled as you approached Steve, a hand outstretched as you continued, “[Y/N] Bardot, it is a pleasure to meet you Captain.”

-Steve stayed most of the night, all of you crammed onto the couch with bowls of popcorn as you acted like old friends. Steve couldn’t help but feel comfortable as you and Sam joked with him. Finally at midnight Steve looked to you both and stated, “Well I better get back to my place.”

“Do you need me to give you a lift back to your bike?” You asked, as Sam put your empty bowls in the sink, Steve smiling as he replied, “No ma’am, I will just walk…”

“Nonsense, give me two seconds to grab my keys, and my jacket.” You replied, rising to collect those two items from the bedroom as Sam looked at him, “Did I forget to mention she doesn’t like the answer no?” 

-On the car ride back he asked you something you hadn’t been asked for years, “Where did you grow up?”

“New York City, by the Metro-General hospital. My dad was a neurosurgeon there, so he wanted to live close to his work.” 

“Were you two close?”

“Not at all, however I am slightly glad about that. If I had a healthy relationship with him, I probably would have never moved here, and I would have never gotten my masters as quickly as I did, and I wouldn’t have met Sam.”

“How long have you all been dating?”

“2010.” You smiled, your car slowing as you pulled up to the building and looked at the blonde super soldier, “Now, I am hoping to see you again soon, Sam needs some friendly competition in his life.”

“Well I am sure you offer enough of that.”

“Not when it comes to athletics, but there is a reason we are no longer allowed to play chess at the apartment.” 

-When you got home, Sam was waiting for you, “I see you didn’t run off with Steve.”

“Never, he is too muscular for me anyway, besides I have the perfect man right here.”

-The next morning when you woke up to Sam making coffee you quietly asked, “Did you at least get his number, that way you can invite him to dinner next week?” 

“No, but my guess is I will see him on my run today, I can invite him then.” 

“Good, and while you are at it, can you please find out what his favorite dish is.”

“Why?”

“Cause everyone deserves their favorite home cooked meal Sam, even 95 year old super soldiers.” You smiled, before taking your first sip of coffee.

-A few days later, you woke up to chatter in the living room, and pulled yourself out of bed, the smell of breakfast drawing you into the space. Standing there was Steve and a red haired woman, with a Russian accent, and for some reason, she was wearing your clothes. Her eyes shined as you replied, “Steve, you didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”

“Sweetheart,” Sam said, his voice serious as you looked at him with a slight tilt to your head, “If anyone comes to the door, don’t answer.” 

“What?” 

“Call into work too, you are not to leave this apartment.” He remarked, before going to leave with the duo

“Or what? You will have me evicted?” 

“Just….” Sam looked at you, “Please, for me.”

“Fine, but I swear if you come in with bullet wounds, I am not digging those bullets out with the silverware.”

-“I like her.” Natasha remaked as she left your house, Sam smiling as they descended the stairs, “Well if this all works out, maybe I can schedule you two a coffee date.” 

-You closed all the blinds, and made sure all the lights were dim, as you sat in the darkness of your living room, you had your phone opened, and waited for the alerts to start. And when they did, your gut told you Sam was there, or maybe it was just because you pieced it all together when you saw the Project Falcon file, laying beside the framed picture of Riley. 

-When Dagger crashed on the bridge Sam muttered, “[Y/N] is gonna be pissed.” 

-When Sam got to the hideout he asked Hill to go get you, and then he called you, “I need you to get in the van, Bardot.” 

“Okay.” You answered, grabbing your duffel bag, which you had packed earlier with clothes for you both, the ring box and the Project Falcon files. 

-When you arrived, an agent took you to a room within the bunker, they said nothing to you as they left. You were there for almost an hour before Sam walked in, your back was leaning against the headboard as you looked to him, “Promise me one thing?”

“Anything.” 

“You will come out of this whole.” 

-Later that night Steve invited you to the table with them, where you met Hill and Fury, and officially got Natasha’s name. As you all sat around, Sam looked at you, “Hey babe, if anyone would know this, it would be you.” 

“Yes?”

“Why would Stephen Strange be considered a threat to Hydra?” 

“No idea, unless Shield is in need of a good neurosurgeon, or they made him an offer that he refused. Personally I can’t see Stephen Strange’s ego allowing him to help anyone on either side, unless they offered him an opportunity he couldn’t pass up.”

-Later when it was just Sam and Steve, Steve looked at Sam, before glancing at you and Natasha, who seemed to be getting along quite well, his voice a whisper, “You aren’t going to tell her are you?”

“No, not until I know exactly why Sitwell listed her as a threat to Hydra.” He replied, Sitwell’s words still ringing in his head

“We used it to keep track of all threats to Hydra, Bruce Banner, Stephen Strange, [Y/N] Bardot…”

-Steve pulled you aside, and was asking you different tactics he could use to get through to Bucky, you gladly replied and helped Steve figure out how to best get through to him. 

"What do I do if I can't get through to him though?"

"Well Steve, you are going to have to do whatever it takes." You replied, before he just nodded

"You know, if you were around back in the 40's I think you would have fit right in with Buck and I." He replied after

"Oh really? Why is that?" 

"Cause you don't seem to give up on people." He replied, the thought of how you gave up on your old life haunting you, however you just smiled, and nodded. 

-While they were taking down Shield you were in the bunker with Nick, as he waited for the chopper, his eye fixed on you as you cleaned the kitchen. Finally he spoke, "So Miss Strange, care to enlighten me on why you changed your name?" 

At that name your eyes met his, widening as he continued, "I am a level 10, former Shield director, I have my sources. Don't worry though, I won't tell anyone."

"And how do I know I can trust you, don't get me wrong sir, but I…"

"Have no reason to trust me, I know. However after this your boyfriend will probably be offered a position on the Avengers, and I am sure he won't be leaving you behind, even if he doesn't know who you really are. Meaning I need to know to protect my team, if having a Strange in the facility will be a problem."

"No sir, just a girl running away from her daddy. However I have to ask, the data you are about to release…" 

"There is no evidence of you in either of our databases, you are still just a Bardot, and I will make sure to keep it that way."

"Thank you Fury." You smiled, before you heard the chopper, "Have a safe flight Director."

-When the agents took you to the Hospital to check on Steve, you immediately ran into Sam's arms, his body wincing as you tightly gripped him, before pulling back, "Thanks for keeping your promise." 

"Thanks for not squeezing me to death." He chuckled out.

-While sitting beside Steve, you looked at him, "Do you think you got through to Buck?" 

"I don't know, but I do know that I need to find him." 

-When they discharged Steve he stayed in your spare room for a few days, each morning you would walk up and make them both a big breakfast, and coffee for after their runs. 

-On the first night he was there he offered both you and Sam a home at the Stark Tower, and even stated that Fury talked to Tony, and told him to allow you to be the Stark psychologist. You looked at Sam, and thanked Steve for the opportunity, before adding, "However it is Sam's decision, not mine." 

-The next day you called into work and terminated your position, you spent the whole day packing up the small home you had both made. A smile on your face when both boys arrived home, and offered to help. 

-On the last day you were in your now empty apartment, you made a special request at one of the finer dining establishments, and as you all sat on the furniture you were leaving behind, it arrived. In the Styrofoam containers were large pieces of lasagna, and homemade garlic bread. As Steve looked at it in disbelief you muttered, "Peggy was nice enough to include that you loved lasagna in one of her journals, so I figured why not."

"Thank you." He whispered before you all dug in, the rest of the night filled with laughter.

-Before leaving you all stood in the cemetery, looking at Nick Fury's grave. Each of you glancing at the figure who joined you as he offered both Sam and Steve spots on his European adventure. When they denied he shook both their hands and then used his other hand to shake yours, a crumpled piece of paper hit your palm, along with a smooth, metal. As his hand slipped from yours you grasped the objects and shoved your hand into the pocket of your black leather jacket, and smiled. Neither Sam nor Steve noticed an exchange even occurred. 

-"You two don't have to come with me." Steve stated as he looked over Bucky's file.

"We know, when do we start?" Sam replied

"As soon as we get you moved into your new home." Steve replied, as he closed the file and looked towards you both. 

-You and Sam drove Baloo all the way to New York, Steve not far behind on his bike as you sang off key the whole way there. 

-Upon arriving at the Stark Tower, Hill immediately led you and Sam to a room that was bigger than your apartment back in DC. "Welcome home."she replied, "[Y/N], tomorrow Tony should have your new office all set up. I hope you don't mind but we took the liberty of setting up your books in there."

"Not at all, thank you Maria." You replied, as Sam gripped your hand. 

-Once she left you both took in the space, a sudden wave of familiarity washed over you as you looked at the condo, which had an identical layout to other condos in the city. As the sun lowered however you heard a soft knock on the metal door, and turned to see Steve walking through, "Hope you both like it." 

"Mr. Stark went above and beyond with these rooms." You replied, as Steve chuckled, "Well you can tell him that yourselves, he has requested that we have a small party to welcome you to the team."

"He certainly does love his parties." You answered, as Sam looked between you both, before stating, "How long until…." 

"He told everyone to arrive at 8, so my guess is be ready by 7:30."

-When he left Sam immediately went into the shower, leaving you alone to figure out what to wear. However as soon as he closed the bathroom door you withdrew the crumpled piece of paper, and the hard drive. As you uncrumpled the paper you saw Fury's handwriting slanted along the page, 

Bardot, 

I called in a few favors, and had all evidence linking your new identity to your old one permanently erased. This harddrive contains the only copies of your existence as Miss Strange.

Hopefully this is enough to show that you can trust me. 

Fury

-Under his name he had scribbled his phone number, just in case of emergencies 

-Your eyes started to water, and finally a wave of relief washed over you at the thought that you no longer needed to be fearful of someone finding out who you really were. 

-When Sam exited the bathroom he saw you wearing the black dress he had bought you for your birthday, and the silver heels he purchased to match your royal blue dress. He couldn't help but smile as he watched you applying your red lipstick in front of the vanity mirror. 

"Take a picture, it will last longer." You replied, noticing him staring through the mirror. 

"I just might one of these days." His response caused him to move towards you, his chin landing against your shoulder as his nose was met with the light notes of your bath and body perfume.

"We better get down there, and meet the team." You replied, taking his hand within yours before leading him to the elevator.

-A small gathering for Tony Stark meant at least a 100 people were in a room, a fully stocked bar and pool tables decorated the room, along with millions of seats, both in the space, and on the balcony. The balcony had several fire pits set up, along with a small rectangular pool with pool floats, and color changing LED lights. Thankfully since you arrived early, you were able to meet the team, and then were taken aside by Natasha. "You spend too much time with Wilson anyway, what do you say we just do shots?"

"Yes please." You replied, before taking the first 2oz glass from Clint, who was pouring, and poured the clear liquid down your throat. 

-At some point Tony walked up to the three of you however, and touched your back, drawing your attention, "I need to speak with you." 

"Oh can't it wait Tony?" Clint asked as Tony smiled, "Sadly it can not." 

"Sure Tony, whatever you need." You smiled as he led you from the room, and into an empty room down the hall. His lab was visible as you looked down the hall, and then to the door he was unlocking. As he turned the knob and turned on the lights he revealed a furnished office, all your books sorted by colors on a shelf behind the desk, two comfortable looking couches decorated the room, along with a chair that was positioned towards the window that overlooked the city. A framed photograph of you and Sam sat beside a brand new laptop. As you took in the office Tony replied, "I hope you like it, Miss Potts put quite a bit of thought into the design of the room.

"I love it, I will make sure to thank her when we return to the party." 

"That's why I have pulled you aside, we aren't going back to the party, at least not for another hour."

"Why are we staying away from the festivities for an hour?" Your eyebrow raised as he looked towards the ground, "Cause that is typically how long Dr. Stephen Strange stays at my parties. After an hour of photo ops and networking, he grows bored, and will leave without so much as a farewell. I don't blame you for leaving, he seems like a real ass."

"How do you…"

"Who do you think wiped your files Bardot?" He asked, taking a seat on your couch, "Unfortunately I forgot he is normally listed on our guest list, and when Happy made a joke about the fun sucker coming up, that is when I realized my mistake. Thankfully I only advertised the introduction of Mr. Wilson, whom I am sure Strange has no interest in speaking to, but I don't want to cause you any discomfort." 

"Thank you." 

-For an hour you and Tony sat in your office, and after several moments of silence, you decided to spark a conversation with the Millionaire playboy. This conversation lasted longer than an hour though, and by the end of it you and Tony were laughing to the point of tears. 

-At 1 in the morning you both decided it was time to go to bed, and due to how new you were, he escorted you back to your room. Looking at him you stated, "Thanks for tonight Tony, I really appreciated it."

- After exchanging goodnights you opened the door to find Sam and Steve seated at the dining room table, all Intel on Bucky spread across the plaid tablecloth. Both of them so fixated on the papers they failed to even notice you as you kicked off your heels and started towards the bathroom. 

-After you changed, you went straight into the king sized bed, sinking into the marshmallow mattress as you pulled the comforter up around you. 

-The next morning you hid the flash drive in your office, in a small trinket box beside all of your Stephen Strange studies.

-Tony often found himself in your office, and sometimes you would end up just talking about nothing, and other times you were the only one who could ease his mind. You were one of the few people that he would talk about the NYC attack with. 

-You were the one that proposed using a string of phrases to calm Hulk down, Natasha volunteered to do it, which you said would probably be the most effective method. 

-You, Clint and Natasha were always seen in the common area together when they weren't training. Normally you would be seated in the floor, in front of the coffee table, looking up at the two, Clint’s hands always twirling an arrow, while Nat rolled her eyes. 

-On occasion, you would fellowship in Nat’s room, and leave there slightly stumbling due to too much vodka. Upon entering the condo, Sam couldn’t help but crack a smile at you.

-Nat always wanted to go to the expensive stores with you and look at the clothing section. She always thought it was comical that you would wear your hair up in a ponytail that stuck out of the back of the baseball cap that Tony bought you, eyes always covered by your round, purple sunglasses, and your outfit not to revealing, even on the hottest summer days, you insisted on wearing one of Sam’s hoodies and your baggy jeans. She had no idea it was because these were the stores you always occupied as a child, and feared the employees who once knew you by first name would recognize you. 

-Twice a week you would make poptart runs, always picking up new flavors to try, and returning with them to stock the pantry for the God of Thunder.

-You were the only one, other than Thor, who knew where the stash of Asgardian Ale was.

-Thor adored you, often when you were deep into a book he would sit beside you, and once he noticed you had finished your chapter, would engage in conversation. Soon the book would be discarded and his booming laughter would fill the small space as you shared comical details of your life with him. 

-He always talked with you about Jane. And finally one day you looked at him and whispered, “Sometimes Thor, it is best to wish the toxic people well, and let them go.”

-Clint loves teaching you how to shoot a bow, and often would decorate the target with Sam’s photographs. You normally missed, however you never shared that you were purposely aiming for the backgrounds of the photos.

-You knew about Laura and the kids, Clint told you one day when it was just the two of you in his room. You were sitting on the counter of his kitchen while he cooked leftovers, the smell of the food intoxicating. You looked at him and replied, “I never knew you could cook more than mini wheats.”

“I can’t, Mrs. Barton on the other hand….”

“Wait, I thought your parents were partying it up in the ghost realm ?” You joked as he agreed, “They are, but my wife is a young queen, currently raising two jesters.”

-He showed you pictures after that, and one day even took you with him and Natasha to visit them, the kids instantly loved you. 

-You and Nat left before him, both of you agreeing to pick him up in a few days, on the ride back, you sat in the seat, legs over the arm of the chair as you looked towards Nat, “Do you think that’s going to happen to me?”

“What?”

“I am going to end up in a safe house, raising the kids on my own, while Sam runs around and saves the world, even after he has retired.” 

“No, mostly because I don’t think Tony would ever let him force you into the domestic housewife role.”

-Bruce likes having you around in the lab, since you and Tony were so close, he loved to show you how to create in the lab, making it so that Bruce saw you extremely often. He was fearful you would look at him as a psychological test subject, who wanted nothing more from him than the answer to what makes the big guy tick. However he quickly learned that was the wrong thought process, since you never brought the big guy up.

-Rhodey often joked that you were replacing him as Tony’s best friend, you were quick to rebuttal, “Never, I could never handle him like you do.” 

-One day when you wandered into the lab, you found Tony and Bruce bickering quietly, and quickly took your place at a computer, looking for a file you had emailed yourself to show Tony for a future invention idea. However as soon as Tony noticed you he piped up, “Bardot, just the woman I wanted to see, tell me, do you think creating AI would be a good idea?”

“It depends what you want the AI to do.” 

-That’s when he told you the plans for Ultron, and you looked towards Bruce, “What do you think B?” 

“I think it is doable, but the electronic system we would need to create in order to make a AI system as lifelike as Tony is invisioning has never been done before.”

“But it can be done, we just need someone who has a vast knowledge of the human brain, and understands what makes humans behave in a helpful, protective, justifying manner.” He stated, turning towards you, as you asked the question, “You mean like a psychologist?” 

“No.” Tony answered, “I need the psychologist who got her masters at 21, and can function at the same genius level that Banner and I can. Also she needs to already know how to best communicate with us, and can clearly articulate her ideas on how to get this system up and running.” Tony answered

“Where do I sign then?” You asked as Tony smiled wide

-Tony always kept tabs on your father for you, that way exposure to him and the possibility of him exposing your born identity were very minimum. However when you would hear he was attending a gala, or going to the same brunch the Avengers were expected to attend, and Sam would ask you to be his plus one to the free buffet, you were left to come up with excuses.

-There was one week where they had so many events to attend in that one week alone. Every event scheduled allowed a plus one, meaning that you were destined to be Sam’s. However you kept telling him you were feeling nauseous, and couldn’t attend, since your father would be attending everyone as well. At the end of that week, Sam came into the bedroom, and tossed a small, pink cardboard box onto the comforter, your eyes lifting from your laptop to look at it, “What’s that?”

“A pregnancy test.”

“I can see that, what I meant by that was more of a why did you feel the need to buy…”

“You said you were nauseous almost every night for the past two weeks, so this way at least we have all our bases covered.

-It came back negative, which you already knew. That afternoon you looked up new excuses for not attending the events, since you didn’t want to pee on a stick for the rest of your premenopausal life just because you wanted to avoid your father.

-Steve was at your place every night, all three of you leaning over the files you had dug up, searching for any clues that could point you in the direction of Bucky, and every time being unsuccessful. 

-One morning after training Steve came up to the office alone, opening your door he saw you furiously typing the keys on your keyboard, trying to describe the next groundbreaking electronic you and Tony would create in the lab. His smile wide as he lightly knocked on the open door, “You got a minute?”

“For you Steve Rogers, always. What’s up?”

“Want to go get coffee?” 

“Sure.” You smiled, closing the laptop and raising to follow him into the autumn weather. 

-As you walked around Central Park with the warm beverages Steve asked, “Do you ever think we will find him?” 

“I honestly do, I mean we have to try at least. You even said it seemed almost like you got through to him, meaning there is still a scrape of your Bucky in there, and it is because of that we have to try.”

-Steve has a spare bedroom in your condo, Tony meant for it to be a spare office for you to work “at home” but you asked Happy to help you move all the stuff out after a week, and bought all new vintage bedroom furniture to decorate the room with, along with found pictures of Steve in the present, and put a sepia filter on them before printing and framing them. The shelves were filled with all the classics, and a few modern books you thought he might enjoy, along with several, blank sketchbooks, and a whole new pencil set.

-Sometimes when they weren’t looking for Bucky, Steve would do a still life of you, his hand always moving in short strokes across the page as he looked at you. Sam occasionally would be the subject of a drawing as well, but normally you were the easiest thing at his disposal to draw. Plus you unknowingly sat still for a very long time, making you the perfect model. 

-You came up with the name Veronica, Tony wanted to name the suit Ruby, and Bruce was in favor of HEDI (Hulk’s Emergency Defense Isolation). 

-At least once a week, you were insistent that everyone eat dinner together in the common area. You would spend the whole day cooking, and then after hours of dealing with the heat, steam, burns and grease, you would serve up a plate for everyone and tell Jarvis to summon them. 

-There was one night after your weekly group dinner that Tony suggested playing a game, which you all agreed would be doable for that night, since none of you really had plans for that evening, or the following day. The game he suggested was Never have I ever, and as he proposed it, he pulled out the shot glasses, and the deep amber liquid.

-It started off easy, Tony asked first, “Never have I ever cheated on a test.” This resulted in most of the team taking a shot, while you, Tony and Steve just watched, “I am scared to know what kind of test Thor cheated on.” You replied as the Asgardian looked at you, “I will gladly tell you all about it later Lady [Y/N].” 

-You hated that he called you Lady [Y/N], but he did it still because he found your annoyance at the formality cute. 

-other than Thor’s cheating story, whenever asked to explain a story, everyone complied and told the story that went with the question. Your personal favorite was when Bruce asked, “Never have I ever woken up in bed with a stranger.”

Tony took a shot, and as he placed it down he replied, “If anyone was wondering it was 5 strangers, and I had no idea how I got there. Was still drunk too when I woke up I think.”

-At around question 10 or 11 however the questions got a bit harder to answer, “Never have I ever stolen?” 

-As you took a shot, Bruce piped up, “Now I have to hear your story, Bardot.” 

You didn’t want to tell them how you stole money from your father, so you smiled and replied, “I steal Sam’s clothes daily, so I think that counts.”

-At question 37 though they kicked it up a notch, Nat looked at you and said, “Never have I ever had someone call me Madam in bed.”

-You took the shot, and could see Sam turning red across the circle from you, as you lowered it you muttered, “Never telling you anything again.” 

“Never have I ever called someone madam in bed.” Clint followed up, as Tony and Sam took shots, everyone looked at Tony confused and replied, “Well what else am I supposed to call the Madam Secretary.” 

-At question 67 however, you looked at Tony, slight panic in your face as Steve asked, “Never have I ever lied about my identity outside of a mission.” 

-His goal was to get Natasha, but before she could answer you politely asked, “Oh shit, what time is it?” 

“9:30.” Bruce replied

“I have to go do a phone conference with Pepper, I’ll be back though as soon as it is over.” You answered, before hurrying to the elevator, no one had a second thought. As the doors closed through, and the elevator rose slightly, you pressed the stop button, head going into your knees as you sank to the floor, tears slowly slipped from your eyes. When you made the decision to run away from the Strange name, you never thought you would ever feel bad for withholding the information from people, but for some reason withholding it from the Avengers, the people you were starting to consider family, just felt wrong.

-“Miss Bardot, Mr. Stark would like to know if you are okay?” Jarvis asked, as you lifted your head and looked at the small camera in the corner, “Please tell him I am perfectly okay, and will come rejoin the game in a moment.” 

-However you soon heard metal boots hit the top of the elevator and looked up to see the top tile of the roof get removed, before Tony dropped down carefully. He sat beside you and didn’t say anything, until finally you leaned over and gently placed your head on his shoulder, triggering his arm to go around you.

-After a while he softly whispered, “I am so proud of you.”

“Why?”

“Because you could have ended up like me.”

“A playboy millionaire who woke up one day after a night of partying to 5 probably drop dead gorgeous strangers ready to have sex with you?”

“No. Emotionless, arrogant, sarcastic, you could have pushed everyone away, been prideful, rude, and honestly just acted like a pompous ass.” 

“I don’t think you are a pompous ass.” You whispered

“Trust me kid, I definitely am. Besides at your age I definitely had never been in a 4 year, healthy relationship, or been as humble as you. If I were you, I would be boasting to everyone about having earning my masters at the age of 21, or about working for one of the most distinguished, new age tech companies in the world, or that you live with the avengers, and are dating one of their newest members, who was also in the military. You genuinely don’t seem to care about any of that though, you just present yourself with grace and ease, and smile to everyone no matter who they are.”

“Thanks Tony.” You whispered as he pressed a light kiss on your temple, before whispering, “Never feel bad for getting out, because getting out made you a better person.” 

-After that day you guys always played a game after group dinners.

-Since Sam was normally helping Steve, you were left to play video games alone, however you noticed a lot of self improvement during this period. 

-The only day Sam and Steve would pause the search to watch TV with you was on Nova Wednesday.

Masterlist

[lumpiya]

ALRIGHT. THE DWELLING IS COMMENCED. BABE AND ANGEL OCCUPATION HEADCANON.

voice actor babe

they voice hori (horimiya), shinobu (demon slayer), rosaria (genshin impact), moroha (yashahime), naomi (my own tokrev oc B)), lady nagant (upcoming mha), power (upcoming csm), aoi (tbhk), yumehara (saiki), ikuno (ditf), hina (wheathering with you) and more… those are just the ones i thought of-

ash is a rosaria main. cause babe voices her and she’s hot asf. he has like 13 diff builds for her.

babe is best friends with most the genshin cast but mainly zach aguilar, aleks le, khoi dao, laura stahl, erika harlacher and jenny yokobori

every time babe has to attend a convention, ash most of the time goes. a good 70% of the cons that babe was a guest to, you see a dood in an ash ketchum costplay with them.

at babe’s first convention when they started dating, ash couldn’t attend but they got him an ash ketchum hat and now wears it every single convention.

the elevator where ash and babe met was where babe’s agency was. they were going down to meet some va friends for lunch but obviously got stuck.

before babe and ash met, ash never really watched any anime besides pokemon (for obvious reasons) but when they started dating, ash assigned a mission to himself that he was gonna watch every single thing or play every game that babe is in. babe has told him many o time that there is literally not enough hours in the day to do that but he didn’t care and vowed that he would.

babe installed their own studio in ash and their apartment. ash really likes going in there when babe isn’t on the clock and just messes around with the sound board and makes cute little lyrics about the most random things. although, when babe is on the clock, if they didn’t lock the door ash will try and sneak a peek at what they’re doing even tho that can get babe in hella trouble-

pediatrician angel

angel works late sometimes due to their boss needing last minute paperwork for kids finished. paperwork meaning more organized notes for each appointment.

angel. loves. kids. during pack meetings they’re always playing with the kids and making sure they’re okay if something happens. if the kids were playing too rough, angel knows how to patch them up quick. despite them being not human ofc, they know how to make them feel better and/or feel more confident/cooler with this big all scratch on them.

angel def carries candy’s in a bag during pack meetings. they’re good at praising them if something goes right or if someone gets hurt and it’s like a little feel better treat. davey steals. just sayin.

if it was a bad day at the clinic davey gives them lots of loving and cooks them their fav. that’s canon tho-

in the pack, the kids consider angel a healer. healer for physical pain? not really. mental pain? DUH. the kids don’t realize it but that’s really what happens. angel is really good at distracting the kids from their pain that the pain suddenly goes away. so when the kids tell their parents about angel the healer? the parents are like how tf can an unempowered person be a healer-

—————

sorry there’s not a lot for angels side… i didn’t really know how to add details to them but yah… and also the only reason why i have so many ideas for babe is cause i mainly listen to asher’s audios and i relate to babe the most- i wanna be a va and shi soooo

[pastelpaperplanes]

Hey tfcon annon from before, youtube Team TFNation, saturday stream, 7:44:28 - 8:44:06 - 9:50:47

AYOO thank you very much!! And seriously thank you so much for the time stamps of all three parts

(anon is referencing THIS ask)

oh the reading was so GOOD 😭😭 rip a full season 4 I cry, ohh what we could have had. it went full circle. PLEASE 💀

spoilers under the cut!

I rly like all the references that the writers built into the episode! The eternal flame for sure (poor Op, just let him do his job the publicity and souped up looks,,leave him alone ajdjsk) and especially the little nod to mnemosurgery. morbid. but hey Megs survived and then some AHHH

I will admit. knowing far too much fanon vocabulary being used in canon—granted for ENTIRELY different functions and intentions— still had me chalking. I still need a moment cuz was very alarmed oh my fuck

Sentinel was about a stupid and awful as I expected him to be, yes I’m still in love with him. no I can’t explain myself when I don’t even know why, he looked v sexy in his suit. added beef is always appreciated in both tastes and looks and TASTES. AYOOO okay I’m done stop THROWING things at me I’m just so sad he roped poor Bee into all the publicity shit :’) Oppy was so good to him after all of that, I love how it took a reassuring little invite for Bee to perk up again AW. Genuinely disappointed Sentinel didn’t try to run w Rattletrap’s janky photoshop Megop pic. AHHH. I would have killed to have Op confirmed SPUTTERING over that nonsense my heart is throbbing pls let me imagine a senario where instead he goes ‘WAIT. HOW DID THEY FIND THAT’ Megs would have wined and dined his plucky nemesis STOP BOOING ME

ngl when Megs started tossing his goons into the power cell I wanted to DIE knowing who would come next, unless my brain literally shut off for those lines and chose not to listen to it—I don’t think Blitzwing was executed??? I have hope for my boy??? If I’m wrong pls don’t tell me lemme ride this HIGH. Rip lugnut you stupid himbo king, I worry for Strika though oh no how would she take it yikes

Jazz was such a pure soul my heart goes out to him idk how he’s such a LIGHT in the whole damn squad when he’s put up w so much. Him speaking in Prowl’s memorial service was sweet, but tone it down on the goovies and jives good god son. Jettwins? Flawless. Outstanding. All 3 lines of them. Could not have asked for better boys were they. sharing a milkshake at maccadams?? literally my heart is dying and crying that is the cutest I love those bros sm it physically hurts me

#JusticeForBeachcomber all he wanted to do was smoke weed and deliver his damn energon. No he does not get paid enough to get maimed on the job. The VA had me wheezing, my mans was so nonchalant absolutely literally getting manhandled then MURDERED 10/10 line deliveries alsjdlaskdj

Bulkhead getting a whole lot of time to shine I was so happyyyyy and ooo getting to see him reunite on the farm granted it ended piss poorly was so cool!! My boy is so valid and I’m so proud, he deserves some stickers over his battle scars

Ratchet,,hbhhhbbb snffnf :’) and Acree :’DDDD AHHHHH theyre too damn cute I need me a sweet little fic with that much needed quiet night

Absolutely fucking THRILLED to find out that Sari is likely gonna live forever seeing that she doesn’t need to sustain herself like, at all. Her upset about Burger Bot oml ajsnksw girlie can you still taste?? do you chew and spit now I’m sobbing real tears for her

Optimus has got to be my fav little journey out of the whole entire reading. He is SO tired and doesn’t like the attention or swanky vanity upgrades, please get him a vacation after Mags was like ‘you. you are my successor. why are you crying and sobbing and shaking your head no I know I literally crushed your spirit saying youre not a hero to your face but aha—‘ and then fucking dies. VACATION. STAT. Technically he gets one being stranded on Earth again. Now I need to draw an Op where it finally dawns on him that yes, YOU are the Magnus by rite of passage—and has a sleep-deprived conniption CRYING fit in his big scary clunky suit. the absolute epitome of Looks Like They Could Kill You, Is a Cinnamon Roll

Overall 12/10 the whole cast and guests absolutely crushed it. Literally couldn’t have imagined the s3 aftermath kicking off any better this was a TREAT!!!!

[pearlfacts]

Thoughts. on Bismuth (the episode) 😮

hmm I have a bit of a love hate relationship with it, I think it is a fun watch for the most part with a good amount of past exploration/suspense and I absolutely adore bismuth the character. I also really like the way the episode developed rose's character a bit more, and I think it was a very neat way to introduce a new-old crystal gem into the mix. howeverrr it definitely spiralled into uncomfortable territory in the second half. also I, as many have, have also always been unhappy with the way they just... bubbled her again and didn't speak of it for a whole two seasons. like realistically she had every right to be lost and angry and confused and it took the crew far too long to bring her back or have anyone hear her out (especially after like.. the political implications in the ep?). it bothers me even more that a lot of other side characters got a lot more initial attention, or were otherwise "redeemed" in the same amount of time bismuth had when they absolutely didn't deserve it not to bring up andy again, but I absolutely mean andy

I know uzo was a guest VA so they probably couldn't have her in consistently but nonetheless my girl deserved soooo much better