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youregonnagofaar · 2 years ago

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happy ending myth; a steve harrington story

chapter 5. just a little bit of tenderness

chapter 1 chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4

pairing: best friend!eddie munson, close friend!max mayfield, slowburn!steve harrington

a/n: this took a long time to post despite me having it written and edited thanks to me getting a three week sinus infection. i’m going to start releasing these on mondays from now on and i’m still not sure how many chapters this will end up being. i changed my url and have made sure to edit all links so they work properly for everyone wanting to start from the beginning. thanks again for the support and as always i do enjoy feeback ha :)

summary: steve and you have a conversation about the night of the halloween party, max and you hug it out, the gang visits the creel house, you witness that steve and nancy do still have a tiny spark, robin does her best (as always), you have your first injury, and robin witnesses flirting behind the wheeler window.

warnings: mild violence, curse words, anxiety, an injury near an eye takes place, pls let me know if i missed anything

word count: 6,315

tag list: @evansflowers

Steve held your hand tightly as the both of you braced the chilly air outside. The sudden rush of cold felt wonderful on your body but also made you aware of all the places you were sweating. In embarrassment, you let go of his hand and giggled. “I really wish Max had warned me about how none of us are able to shower when facing these monsters.” Steve looked at you with a grin and nodded his head in agreement. Despite going through this a few times he had never remembered to just bring deodorant with him. However, over the years his smell had gotten worse. Probably due to so many punches to the nose since this, all started. The sun was just about to rise and the grass had frost on the tips. If someone had told you in High School that King Steve would be holding your hand on a morning like this, you’d laugh in their face.

“Oh, it's been worse than this. Last time it was summer and I had a decent amount of the kids in some random car. Robin and I had just been beaten up by some Russian spies who were pissed we ruined their plans. So it smelt awful for the first few moments until my nose went numb.” Steve hadn’t realized how much he was saying until he saw your face fill with worry. There was so much you didn’t know about their past endeavors despite him feeling like you had been here all along. He placed his hands in his pockets and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry if that was too much.” It still confused him at how easy it was to tell you anything. Even though you looked at him in shock you still weren’t calling him stupid for saying so much at once. The comfort you made him feel scared him to his core.

“No, no it’s not too much. I just didn’t realize all the things you’d been through. I am now getting the Halloween costume…uhh Risky Business!” You smirked at him big cause you were excited your brain could remember such a small detail of life before The upside down. The joke was also kinda bad since this was clearly more than risky. Thinking of that night made his cheeks warm for all the wrong reasons, but then he saw the face you made and felt a whole other warmth. It then hit him that he wasn’t sure if he had ever seen you at this party. He had eyes for only one person and drank far too much that night. What part of the night had you seen him? How many times had he already embarrassed himself in front of you?

“Yeah, umm, what part of the night did you end up witnessing?” He was beyond nervous about your answer. Either way, it was probably a weird sight for you. He either only had eyes for Nance or was a total jerk in a terrible mood.

You began to really think because for you the night wasn’t all that to remember. You left early because you were bored. Eddie had only shown up at the party to sell some drugs and then was ready to head out once the deals had been made. However, you did remember seeing a sad Steve getting a drink at some point in the night. He seemed upset but he looked so pretty and that made no sense to you at all. However, before you could even think of walking towards him, Tommy and Carol appeared. Not wanting to even hear her remarks about your costume you ended up leaving shortly after. “ I saw you getting a drink and looking like the saddest boy in the world.” You gave him a soft smile and shrugged. “Even if I had gotten the guts to walk up to you, it would’ve been horrible to do that in front of Carol.” You shook your head and made a noise of disgust, “She is one person I will never miss.”

Steve let out a laugh that felt genuine and it scared him for a moment. “Well honestly, I’m glad you didn’t talk to me that night.”

You took this moment to sit down and pat the frosted grass next to you. Steve took your cue and sat down, his shoulder touching yours, causing a warm tingle to rise in your spine. The whispers of Nancy breaking up with Steve for Johnathan were all around school after that night. It was no secret to all of Hawkins High that this was a huge blow to King Steve. The bruises and cuts on his face days after were further proof that something big had happened. Little did you know that he was fighting his own demons along with real monsters.

“So umm, who did you dress up as that night?” Steve looked over at you with a smile wanting nothing more than to change the route of this conversation. That night no one understood your costume. Eddie had to cheer you up after he gave you a joint and finally cried about it. The night didn’t mean much to you the way it meant so much to Steve.

“Oh, I dressed up as Ellen Ripley from Alien, but everyone thought I was just some mechanic.” You shrugged remembering the outfit that Mr. Munson had given you. It was from his old days as a mechanic and it worked perfectly. You had made your own name tag and everything, but the idea was lost on everyone there.

“Dustin’s mentioned that movie a lot, but I haven’t been able to watch it.” Steve looked over at you and the way his eyes twinkled in the rising sunlight made your heart skip a beat.

“Well, maybe one day I can show you the movie.” You weren’t sure if a time would ever come when the world would be calm enough to watch a film again, but the idea of showing Steve a favorite movie of your’s made you excited. You wanted so badly to curse your hormones but the way you felt around him covered you with a type of joy you couldn’t explain.

“I’d really like that.” As he spoke the two of you just smiled a cheesy grin. A calm clouded your senses as the two of you looked into each other's eyes. Both of you were lost in the idea of how this date night would go.

For Steve, you came out of nowhere. However, you had always known of Steve Harrington. No one who went to Hawkins didn’t know about King Steve. He was the typical pretty boy who was always going to be Prom King. You had found him to be good-looking, but the thing was, so did everyone else. He was all girls talked about and at one point in your teenage angst, you had found him absolutely annoying. The thing was, this wasn’t King Steve anymore.

You were lost in thought until you heard the sliding glass door open from behind. Both of your bodies turned quickly as if there was something no one should see going on. The reaction caused Robin to stifle a laugh.

“Hey, lovebirds! We gotta go! Nancy figured out that we need to go to the Creel house!” Robin's raspy voice filled the once-quiet air causing Steve and you to look at her with wide eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have drool on my face?”

You and Steve looked at each other before rolling your eyes. “No, Robin there is no drool on your face.” You got up slowly and rubbed your sweaty palms on your jeans with a smile. “I’m going to see if Max needs me at all.”

Steve watched as you walked away his heart feeling different than before. Maybe it was the way you listened to how he spoke or how your eyes lit up when you brought up things you liked, he wasn’t sure but he knew he was in for it. Robin was giving him a look that he knew would lead to questions he had no answers for.

“So…what did I just interrupt?” The smirk on her face made Steve roll his eyes and wince.

“She wants to watch that movie Alien with me. If all of this ever ends.” His shoulders slouched forward as he attempted to walk back into the Wheeler house.

“Wait a minute, Steve, talk to me, I can see how you look at her. I see the way she looks at you. Are you actually going to make some type of move?” Robin was frustrated watching Steve aimlessly flirt with you but then she saw the look he gave her from the question and sighed. “Okay, no moves need to be made, but could you at least fill your best pal in on what is happening here?”

“I like her Robin, a lot, but Nance.” He let out an annoyed sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. Steve liked you more than he cared to admit, every time he spoke with you it felt like he was actually being heard. Yet, this was the first time in so long that he had Nancy smile at him again and that feeling sometimes overpowered all his senses. Even when he knew it wasn’t right because Nance had moved on.

“Steve, you need to get over Nancy. She has moved on and you should too. Just like her, you are allowed to like someone else and I haven’t seen you look at someone like this before. Just do yourself a favor and try it out. Maybe Y/N is the right person for you to move on with.” Robin placed her hand on her best friend's back and smiled. “Can you just follow my advice for once in your life?”

“Yeah, maybe I can.” He shrugged and looked at Robin with a soft smile before walking into the Wheeler household. His thoughts only on you and how badly he wanted all of this to work out. Before you, he would dream of Nancy as the mother of his children. They’d travel the world and he would raise them with love and care. Make sure that they knew they were loved and never leave them on their own for stupid business trips. But last night, he had that same dream but instead of Nance, it was you. You were in the passenger side of that big trailer as they traveled the world. He grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and placed it on his left eye, praying that his thoughts would settle for once.

You had already made your way down to the basement, Max had been down there for a bit just trying to plan out the mission to the Creel house. When you caught her eye she gave you a weak smile, because she knew that there was so much to explain. “Do you have a minute? I just… umm…need to talk to you about all of this.” Max felt she had pushed you into this life by just accepting your friendship. Everything felt doomed when a being with mind control could alter the course of your life in an instant.

“Steve told me some stuff about last year in the mall. I guess he got beat up by some Russian spies?” Despite being confused, you knew that everything would not be explained. A decent amount of this was still a mystery to even the people who were deeply involved. “Max, listen you don’t have to explain too much to me. I know all of this isn’t really something that has the right answers.” You paused trying your best to come up with the right thing to say. “All I care about is keeping you safe. So wherever you go I’ll be there, okay?”

Max almost broke down at that moment, because you were asking for nothing in return. It made her so angry that she had let you into her life. She felt she knew the risks and still allowed you to get close despite the warnings of danger. No one else was around so she quickly hugged you tight, letting only a few tears fall. “Thank you.” Her words muffled as she tried to gain composure back.

Soon Dustin and Lucas were yelling at the two of you to come back upstairs. Max backed away, you fixed her hair and sighed. This was her typical reaction when displaying public affection. To distract her from the threat of someone seeing her vulnerable, you spoke up, “So off to the Creel house?” The Creel house was an old abandoned home that held its own lore of why it looked that way. As a child, you heard some kids saying it was because the man who once owned it, killed his whole family. Now that you had more information, it appeared it wasn’t that clear-cut.

“When Vecna had me, I got to some area that he didn’t want me to see. I couldn’t sleep last night so I started to draw what I could remember. Turns out, Nancy has seen the door before.” As Max spoke you tried your best to connect the dots. “Oh and after all of that, we have to bring Eddie some food. He must be starving.” She rolled her eyes when bringing up Eddie's hunger. That problem seemed so small compared to the one she was facing. Of course, you agreed but you still worried about Eddie. He was the only constant in your life and this had been the longest the two of you had been apart.

Despite not understanding everything, you nodded your head and made your way upstairs. Everyone was ready to go as they rallied into the car. You ended up being seated with Dustin and Steve in the back, in an area where most people kept their luggage or an extra tire. The two boys let you in first and you did your best to take up a little room. Once everyone settled Nancy began to drive to the Creel House. Steve had decided to take the space next to you and Dustin was sitting right in front of you. You decided to place your legs against your chest, wanting to take up the least amount of room but also to control your breathing. As you tried your best to get comfortable you tried to connect what you could. Hawkins was built on some weird fault line for the supernatural. A young girl named El was the reason all of this happened but she appeared to have never meant this type of harm to anyone. Barb and Will seemed to be the first two victims but Will managed to survive. Each year something new would emerge and it was more hostile than the creature that came before. Somehow all of it was connected to the game Eddie loved to play, Dungeons and Dragons. Despite them telling you about it all days ago due to the violent events, it was hard to understand.

“Dustin, you sit with Eddie at lunch right?” As you spoke Steve glanced over at you. Trying to figure out what was going on in your mind. Dustin nodded and you furrowed your brows. “Did you see him with Chrissy that day?”

“Nope, I’ve never even seen those two interact before so it was weird to hear he was with her.” As Dustin spoke you began to pick at your cuticles. This was an anxious habit that you had never seemed to break. The uncertainty of it all would randomly rise in your chest, making it feel as if it was hard to breathe. You had two big fears in life which were: the unknown and ending up all alone. Somehow it seemed the Upside Down had both those fears intertwined.

“He must’ve met with her in the woods after school. Vecna must’ve been really messing with her if she ended up needing drugs.” Steve watched your nervous hands after being caught up in the adorable wrinkles that formed on your forehead and realized that you would end up hurting yourself. He placed his hands over your’s and it caught you off guard for only a moment. Once you looked over and saw his warm eyes and soft smile your shoulders seemed to relax once more. A soft smile soon formed on your lips just from the comfort he brought. Dustin watched with confusion but he was also very intrigued. If anyone wanted Steve Harrington to move on, it was Dustin Henderson. The curly-haired boy watched his best friend pine over many people before. It had gotten worse since Steve got a job at Family Video. So to witness the man finally make moves was a sight to behold.

Dustin cleared his throat and began to speak trying his best to get more information out of you. “Y/N, why haven’t I seen you at the D&D campaigns?” His tone was somewhat accusatory but you could tell from his smile that he meant no harm. A new type of smile covered your face before you looked back over to Dustin. Despite hearing Eddie and his friends talk about you, you had never shown up at a campaign. You knew what he was trying to do because it was clear that he and Steve were close. From what you heard about him from Eddie and the fact that he was close with Max, it was obvious he was trying to get as much information out of you as possible.

So you smiled at the question and shook your head no. “I suck at that game no matter how many times Eddie has tried his best to teach me. However, he has yet to read a Jane Austen novel so I guess we have always been even.” Eddie was told to read Emma just once and in return, you would attempt to join the game but he could never do it. Since it wasn’t for the lack of trying, you did let him explain the rules once but you couldn’t grasp it.

Dustin let out a laugh as the image of Eddie reading Jane Austen came into his mind. He seemed like a really nice kid and you could tell why Eddie had grown attached to him. Due to your work schedule, you were never able to meet Dustin before. To meet him now under these circumstances made you feel uneasy. Soon, Nancy had reached the Creel House causing half of the group to get out of the car. Dustin unlatched the back and made his way to Max and Lucas’s side. You and Steve sat there for a bit longer looking at the house you were meant to enter.

“So I’m guessing this is the least terrifying thing you’ve seen since getting into this mess?” Your voice was soft as you looked at the boarded windows.

“Umm no, this is still just as terrifying to you as it is to me.” It was some cosmic curse how comfortable you felt next to him despite all the scary things happening. His fingers ran over your’s before he spoke again. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Steve squeezed your hand before helping you out of the back. Max had her eye on the two of you as you both walked closer to each other before standing in front of the house with everyone else.

“Yeah, that’s not creepy…” Steve spoke up and Robin gave him a knowing look before he made his way up to the door with Nancy. As they began to take the nails off the boards on the door he looked at Nancy. “What exactly are we supposed to be looking for in this shithole?” His tone was different than how it had been in the car. He sounded confused and annoyed about the situation.

“We’re not sure. We just know this house is important to Venca.” Nancy was focusing on trying to get the boards off the door. Even though she looked tiny, she was strong. Your eyes would trail from Steve to Nancy watching as they worked together.

Being the newest member of a group of people who had so much shared trauma was difficult. Everyone knew each other and the banter between them all seemed to flow naturally. It felt lonely, during these times you wished Eddie was around. You missed him and the way he was able to calm your nerves with his horrible jokes. You began to get lost in thought as the rest of the group was focused on getting into the Creel house. It wasn’t until you heard the loud thud of the boards that covered the door that you were sent back to reality.

The door thudded onto the concrete, causing you to jump a bit. You watched Max as she looked at the single red rose stained into the glass. Her whole face had changed into something more serious. Steve was rattling the doorknob “It’s locked. Should I knock and see if anybody's home?”

“No need.” Robin chimed as you all faced her. She was holding a brick in her hand. “I found a key.” She smirked before throwing it straight into the glass part of the door. The hole it created was big enough for Steve to reach in and grab the handle from the other side. As the door opened, you held your breath, unsure of what this house would look like after all those years abandoned. The group of you entered in a single file line. It was dark and dusty, typical for a house that hasn’t had a tenant in years but there was something bad about this house. You heard Lucas talk about the electricity but your mind was racing as you tried to understand why this place felt so awful.

“Hey, guys…” Max was now in front of an old grandfather clock, her flashlight shining on the dirty glass. “You all see that right?”

Dustin and Steve answered her with a yeah, but Nancy looked at her. “Is this what you saw? In your visions?” Max only nodded her head yes in response and you got closer to her just in case.

“I mean it's… just a clock, right?” said Robin as she began to get closer to the clock everyone was gathered around. Her hand wiped the dust off the glass. “Like a normal clock.”

“Why is this wizard obsessed with clocks?” Steve was confused and you could see his eyebrows furrow as he spoke. “Maybe he’s like a clockmaker or something?”

“I think you cracked the case, Steve.” Dustin was clearly being sarcastic causing Steve to give him a glare that made you smirk.

“All I know is the answers are here… somewhere.” Nancy was sure of something and none of you could deny the feeling you all shared. Something happened in this house, something important. “Okay, everyone stay in groups. Robin, Y/N, upstairs.” As Robin saluted you nodded your head. You gave Steve a little wave before he let out a sigh that made Dustin roll his eyes. The two boys began to banter as the rest of you made your way to different areas of the house.

As you looked around the creaky house, you felt a sudden rush of sadness. It looked like the whole family had just up and left. They didn’t even take family photos. You picked up one of the picture frames and it showed a once-happy family. Because of how you grew up, you knew what it was like to have your world shifted in one moment. Nancy and Robin had noticed you looking sad and made an effort to get your attention.

“So, Y/N, do you still work at the bookshop in town?” Nancy’s voice caused you to break out of your sadness and smile softly at her.

You placed the photo back where it was and turned around to face Nancy. “Yeah, I’ve been working there since graduation. I think I saw you there once, dropping off the school newspaper.”

“Oh yeah, it’s normally…” Nancy’s voice trailed off as she began to think of her dead friend. The look on her face caused you to try and change the subject quickly. You couldn’t imagine losing the friends that Nancy had. First, it was Barb and now it was someone she sure didn’t spend a lot of free time with but they worked closely on the paper together.

“Umm… so what happened to this family? Did you get any information from that visit to Pennhurst?” The question broke Nancy out of her sad trance. If there was one thing you remembered about Nancy Wheeler it was her ability to always know more than anyone. Robin, Nancy and you were all walking up some stairs as she was about to explain Steve burst out in front of her with a look of distress covering his face.

“Whoa, Woah! What’s wrong?” Nancy looked concerned as Steve started to dust himself off frantically.

“There was a spider.” He was out of breath as he spoke.

“What?” She looked both concerned and confused at the same time. Of course, there were spiders, this place had to be filled with them.

“It’s a black widow” He quickly ran to the handle and slammed the door shut. “Don’t go in there.”

“Oh, oh. Wait just..” You watched as Nancy began to pick at Steve’s hair he was acting frantic about a possible spider in his hair. He kept moving forward and Nancy had to tell him to stop several times until he finally listened. You watched her take a web out of his now messy hair and his whole face lit up as she did so. The whole scene made you feel nauseous and Robin could tell.

“If there is a spider in there you won’t find it till it lays eggs and the babies spill out.” As she spoke, she looked over at you trying to get you out of whatever mood you were now in.

“What is wrong with you?!” Steve said his voice filled with annoyance and Robin’s only reply was a chuckle before grabbing your arm and leading you away from the scene.

This left Steve to begin babbling to Nancy letting her know that Robin and he were just friends. Which made you feel even sicker because if he was telling Nancy these things, it meant he still loved her. You understood if he was, it just hurt that for a moment you had actually believed he could possibly like you. When Steve and Nancy began to date everyone talked about it. The two seemed to be the perfect couple, the brains and the beauty.

“Platonic with a capital P!” Robin who was now several feet ahead of Nancy and Steve spoke up, giving you a little poke on your side to cheer you up the best she could. She wanted to punch Steve for being such a dingus when it came to Nancy but she knew he needed to really figure that out himself.

“Yep, thank you.” His voice had never waivered still full of the same annoyance he felt earlier. Nancy was still getting the rest of the dust and webs out of his hair.

You couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation since Robin had done her best to pull you away from it. Robin could sense the uneasiness brewing inside you so she led you a little further away before finally speaking. “You know, Steve, he thinks he still loves her.”

The words hit you with a pang in the chest. You turned to look at Nancy and Steve before looking back to Robin. “It looks like he’s pretty sure about it.” There was no way you could get between that and maybe there was no need for you to even try. Sure, maybe he did like you but how were you sure that it wasn’t just all the excitement of meeting someone new? Yes, he made you feel comfortable but that didn’t mean it was going to be anything more than friends.

“Well, Steve Harrington has always looked to be many things….and well a lot of it he isn’t.” Her words were soft and you could tell this was a more meaningful conversation. Robin was getting at something deeper but at the moment it didn’t quite make sense. There was far too much on your mind right now both Max and Eddie were in danger.

“Those two have a history I can’t really compete with. Max, she’s in danger and Eddie is framed for murders. Plus I don’t want to get my hopes up.” The last words caught you and Robin by surprise. You did like Steve a lot but there was so much going on right now and if he did like Nancy maybe that’s just how this is meant to be.

Robin was about to say something but then suddenly Max yelled from below. Since being on high alert with anything Max related, it didn’t take you long to run down the steps to where she was standing with Lucas.

The sun had set now and all of you were now in the living room of the Creel house. The chandelier was turning on and off again as if it were a heartbeat. “It’s like the Christmas lights,” Nancy spoke and you realized there was another thing you had missed in this journey.

“The Christmas lights?” Robin decided to ask the same question you had on your mind.

“Yeah, when Will was in the Upside Down, the lights… came to life.” Max was whispering and it caused you to feel uneasy.

Lucas then spoke up. “Vecna’s here…in this house. Just on the other side.” Soon the light stopped buzzing causing all of you to look around to see if anything else was glowing.

“I think he just left the room.” Robin blurted out. The house was much darker now causing you to get closer to Steve who happened to be right next to you. It wasn’t that you were afraid of the dark, it was just this dark was something else.

Max began to eye the room with a bit of fear. “Did he hear us?”

“Can he see us?” As Steve spoke, he got closer to you in fear of what was around him. It seemed you both felt the same way about being close. How it offered the both of you a type of solace that was hard to find anywhere else.

“Headphones,” Lucas ordered looking over to Max. It didn’t take long for her to quickly place the headphones back on her ears and turn the volume up as best she could.

Nancy looked like her brain was going into overdrive before finally speaking. “Wait, wait, everyone turn off your flashlights and spread out.”

“We’re not going to be able to see if we turn off our flash… lights,” Steve muttered. “Jesus Christ.” You grabbed his hand quickly and squeeze it as if to say that you were there and it would be just fine. It caught him off guard and he was never able to settle into the feeling.

“I got him!” Robin walked into another room that was close to the stairs. Her flashlight flashed the same way the chandelier had earlier. “I had him!”

Steve’s flashlight began to go off causing both of you to let go of each other's hands. However, you never left his side as you began to journey up the stairs. It wasn’t until he reached the landing that the light died back down. “Shit, I lost him”

“No, you didn’t,” Max chimed in, still able to hear everything despite Kate Bush blaring from her headphones.

Everyone was walking so closely that it was almost as if you had one mind. As everyone walked further up it became clear the source of this was in the attic. Robin was already cursing the idea of this because, of course, the creepy things happening had to be sourced from the attic. Dustin was soon muttering but curiosity took over every sense in your body. There had to be some key as to why this place showed up in Max’s trance. Even though it scared you deeply, it was far more important to keep Max safe. The attic was dark and smelt of rotting wood, the only source of light was a giant window that made the house look menacing. This was a scene out of a horror movie and everyone had seen enough of them to know that the ending wasn’t going to be ideal. There was only one light fixture for the space and it began to turn on and off at the pace the other lights had done before. Everyone stood underneath it watching as it began to make a buzzing noise that grew louder over time. An uneasy feeling washed over you as the noise grew louder, you hadn’t been this scared since seeing Max levitating in the graveyard. Something was here but no one could see it, yet each one of you knew it was Vecna. Suddenly you heard a pop and the glass from the flashlight shattered into tiny pieces all around your face. Luckily, the sound caused you to pull your head back so you only had a few cuts on your cheeks. Max and Steve both looked at you with concern until it began to happen to the rest of the group.

It became clear at that moment after the flashlights were broken and the light above burst that Vecna was drawing a lot of power. As everyone walked down the steps and back into the car you began to rub your flannel on your cheek. A few of the cuts stung and Steve kept telling you to keep your pressure on the cut so it would stop bleeding. Despite the group being tired each one of them noticed how he was so concerned about your well-being. In the back of the car, he took the time to check for any lingering glass that could infect the cuts. Dustin was his assistant nurse holding a flashlight up so Steve could get a good look. The way Steve was dotting on you would’ve normally caused you to be embarrassed but your body felt heavy and your mind was fuzzy. So instead you watched him in a daze as he cleaned and sanitized your wound. This reaction would’ve worried him years ago but he had suffered enough from this world to know that it left shock. The kids were too tired to enter the store so the older members except for you decided to go in real quick and grab some food for Eddie. Robin, Nancy, and Steve all insisted you stay in the car and watch over the kids. By the time they had gotten back, the kids were fast asleep in the weirdest positions but you watched Max as she rested.

On the ride back, everything in you began to process what had just happened. Steve kept looking at you trying his best to figure out what was going on in your head. Steve had no idea you saw the way his face lit up when he was with Nancy. He didn’t even notice his face had lit up that way in the first place. Yet, the way Robin was so sure about Steve not loving Nancy confused you. The main thing you were worried about wasn’t Steve Harrington, it was Max Mayfield. The summer the two of you met was so life-changing. For years, it felt that you were just doomed and it wasn’t possible for someone with so much damage to help anyone younger. Max had proved you wrong and you wanted to do everything in your power to keep that safe. The cuts seemed to become numb as time went on, it was possible that you just already gotten used to the pulsing pain. When Nancy finally made it back to her house everyone piled out of the car without saying a word. Except for Steve who had pulled you aside as the rest made their way to achieve some sleep.

“Hey, are you okay? You seemed kinda lost in the car and, listen I get that feeling. This world involves a lot of shocks and you also just got some nasty cuts from that flashlight.” Steve had this habit of rambling even when comfortable. There were just too many thoughts going through his mind all at once and so little time to get them out. Taking a deep breath you looked at him, his face covered with genuine concern that made you understand how he got the title Mom from the kids.

“Steve, I’m fine, just worried about Max. Thank you for cleaning me up in the car. Dustin and you really would make a fine pair of nurses.” As you spoke his eyes grew wide as if he was confused until it hit him and he let out a small laugh. Once he finally laughed, you giggled and smiled at him. “Don’t worry about me, I’m tough I promise” He knew that you could handle yourself, and yet he still felt the need to stand in the way of anything that could cause harm. Before heading inside, you placed your hand on his shoulder and gave him another warm smile. He watched as you walked into the Wheeler house and ran his fingers through his hair. A sigh of relief left his lips as he realized that Robin hadn’t been there to witness that interaction. Then he heard a loud bang on the window and saw Robin giving him a thumbs-up causing him to roll his eyes.

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sodapops0lstice · 6 months ago

Note

(For Context)

Macaroni and Cheese, Eggplant, Cotton Candy, Atomic Tangerine, Night Owl, Cosmic Cobalt, and Periwinkle.

Macaroni and Cheese: hmmmmmmm.. I'd say the smell of chlorine, it always reminds me of when I was younger and would go on holiday with either my maternal or paternal grandparents

Eggplant: my url was meant to be twotimeTurnover but I found out two time meant adulterer so I decided to change it to something that has the same flow/feeling and which included my nicher hobbies (soda bottle collecting and astronomy) my avatar was MEANT to be for April only (since I change my pfp monthly) it was my 413 art but... My laptop went kaput so I've been stuck janeing it up

Cotton Candy: all of them >:3c

I have the biggest sweet tooth possible lmao but if I had to choose............ Maybe cookie dough? My local place does one that's biscoff flavour which is like... Divine

Atomic Tangerine: probably pressure, I'm kind of a procrastinator but some well placed pressure tends to get me into work

Night Owl: oh my god it HAS to be the Jane dream. I can't remember specifics nowadays but the main plot was the Dirk had killed himself in jade's house (which was also my local leisure centre for some reason) and had hit Jane really hard, I happened to be chummy with all the alpha kids and I remember being in a room on the floor rubbing Jane's back as she sobbed. It made me appreciate Jane more as a character. It was like tik tok shifting

Cosmic Cobalt: I'm a Leo! If we're talking regular shemegular astrology then nahhhhhhhhhhh. I have like 0 room presence nor confidence I'm a nervous wreck but in Homestuck terms, I feel quite Neppy so maybe (I still feel more pisces/fuchsia tho)

Periwinkle: Definitely cards. Christmas or Birthday cards always mean so much to me that my parents force me to throw them out. I still have some from my birthday 2 years ago :')

#neighbouring stars #fizzes #defaultoptions #long post #ask game

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spikedru · 1 year ago

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3 20 36 43 46 47

3. do you leave the window open at night? NOO i am always nervous about things getting inside my room i have wildlife coming right up and taking a peek at me while im trying to sleep and i dont think a flimsy screen would get in the way of something that rly wanted to get in so no. <3

20. do you say soda or pop? soda!

36. how many times have you changed your url? on this blog? i think only the once. i was sunnyhellcalifornia previously

43. what’s your take on spicy foods? i like spicy food! my tolerance isnt like. the greatest per se but i do like foods on the spicier end of things. food just tastes bland otherwise. i adore all kinds of peppers

46. favorite holiday film? for halloween i always like young frankenstein. childhood classic <3

47. what was the last message you sent? i was asking my mom about when i can stop putting gauze in my mouth lmao

from this ask game

#thank u sm!!#asks

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st4r5sh4rdzxx · 1 year ago

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my website (neocities)

i realized i never talked about my website on here and i wanna change that, so here :)

i made it beginning in like march for a class because i basically just was interested in coding. because of all of my life, it always just seemed like some kind of magic. like how can you just type equations and the computer does all kinds of cools stuff?

granted i still dont fucking understand anything but im trying VERY hard. i researched python for a month and decided i was not getting anywhere because no matter how much time i spent dedicating myself to the tutorials, i still felt confused and lost, despite it being one of the easiest programming languages apparently.

so i went with html because hey ive seen people make their tumblrs look cool before so why not? it also feeds into my nostalgic interest for old web, back when the internet was free from corporate manipulation.

if ya wanna listen to me ramble on about coding more, read below the cut. and if you are desperate to share your site but have almost no one to share it with (like me :,D) feel free to reblog/reply with your url!

i think it's basic to assume that any built-by-hand website is going to be a work in progress- under construction, if you will. same with mine. for a project in a different class, i utilized my limited coding skillset to actually make a game, and i still dont understand how i did it. i just remember spending at least a few days zoning out in my school's library, a tutor or friend sitting in front of me who would remind me to eat and stand up and walk around a few times each day. it was exhibited in a gallery for a weekend and it was truly insane.

for some background, i myself am an artist, currently pursuing my bachelors degree and i work multidisciplinary. i've had stuff exhibited in shows since i was in high school, granted they were small, or free to enter youth art shows. at this time i had grown pretty accustomed to gallery nights and my anxiety about it waned. but this was the first time in several years that i was genuinely so nervous about people's reactions to my work. i kept creeping back to where my work was displayed, anxiously watching people react to my game. in my personal opinion, it feels somewhat self-centered to stay by your artwork on gallery night during group shows- and yet, here i was displaying this bad habit.

working on games and websites is something i never planned to do. its honestly exhilarating to come across this new interest i never had before. i feel that my art is now able to take a new direction that im seriously excited to continue doing :)

#neocities #old web #web revival #websites #2000s web #web developtment #game development #webdevelopment #html game #gamedev #web nostalgia #web graphics #y2k

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marlasomething · 2 years ago

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(my) Mag a Week: Pressing Messages

Hello there!

I am participating in the "a mag a day" idea by @a-mag-a-day which is BRILLIANT and I decided to do "statement a week", rolling dice with the characters and fears that were ftw that week in the episodes I have listened. This is week I am pretty late AGAIN: I AM SO SORRY, REAL LIFE (this time mainly helping out my mom) GOT IN THE WAY.

For today I rolled Archivist!Jonathan Sims (so the change is that I go with Sasha and Tim "swapping" roles) and The Buried (Eps. 113-120).

As usual, please do forgive my quick tipper and non-native speaker mistakes, Marla

Allons-y!

CW: anxiety, manipulation of sorts, swearing, entrapment in more than one manner

Also: worth noticing the reason this one is shorter is that I almost had an anxiety attack myself writing it.

Also on AO3!

Statement of @arthemispersonaldevil, regarding why she had to make this statement via mail.

Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, err…The Archivist, apparently?

Statement begins.

Another three emails had entered since I opened this tab to begin writing to you. I don’t know for how long I will be able to keep this up without going insane, but I have to answer, if I don’t…well, what if one of them is the actual important one? What if it has been sent a bit later than expected and then the time-period to answer ends just as I am about to answer?

I out to, I must keep the mail open, and pay attention…just keep answering…

Sorry, I know this is rather insane. At a logical, cerebral, level, I get it: I shouldn’t be getting worked-up by it. I should just close the computer and even, maybe, give myself a few days off-line. If only for eyes to rest and stop being so blood-shot I would have sworn the irises where starting to be tainted by the blood effusion.

It is not so easy to actually do it, though. The moment I lock the screen, my chest starts hurting and my brain spirals into all the possible messages I might be missing due to my lack of interest. My selfish stupid lack of interest. After all, didn’t I open this account on my own free will? Wasn’t I the one that payed actual real money so I could access to all the advantages for a “ more immersive experience ”?

It is bizarre: simultaneously knowing that what you are doing is destroying you and being certain is the only good option you have going for you. However, let’s not begin in the present (and, unless I actually manage to force myself to get something to eat and/or drink, also the End for me), let’s begin at a very good place to start.

Even before this whole personal crisis began, I had always been the kind of person who needs to be sure they had done everything possible with their time. The one that stays behind to check the gas twice and the door thrice; the one whose only failings in exams came from the block provoked at the thought of, well, getting something wrong.

Many, many times I felt as if I was a fish swimming in a far too big see while still being stuck in a far too small tank: everything was hard to achieve but everything was far too close , so immediate.

This also applied to emails, and how badly email platforms have always worked when I am the one manipulating them. This caused me extremely high levels of distress, especially as I waited to see whether I got a place in the Master’s Degree I was interested in. By the point my workmate proposed this to me, I had been nervous for so long, lost in my own thoughts, that I had bitten my finger until the very flesh and bone where more than visible and my fingertips tasted rather metallic.

The boy (something with a T…Tom? Maybe, it was just the most common name imposed over the most common of faces) said that it looked as if I need a breather and handled me an URL written down on a sheet of paper. He said that you could use it to make it astonishingly easy to organise your mail and that that relaxed him, maybe it could help me too.

I shrugged, trying to look unaffected (I have an issue with searching for help...that might explain a lot, come to think to it); wondering how curious it was, almost funny, that he had to offer an optimizer-organizer to help me relax when it was the only thing I was usually able to do when I had to release stress.

I should have guessed something was off the moment I entered the page at home. First of all: what kind of email-focused company has a hearse as their logo? Whose funeral was it supposed to be the one the owners were mourning, or celebrating?

However, curiosity killed the cat, so I’ll be dammed. I made an account and everything was wonderful, exactly as I have always wished for: I could get the precise notifications I wanted with an over-the-top mill-metrically calculated filter and I would never miss an important mail ever gain.

I felt as if a weight had been lifted from me…

…until I made a mistake, and let an email be muted due to my extremely selective criteria.

One of a personal matter, so I won’t discuss it beyond saying that it was one that hurt like Hell to read when I knew nothing else could be done.

That was the moment things turned…well, as they keep being right now.

I first cut off one of the silliest filters I had put on, something about mentioning “cat food” (since I am allergic to cats and only have owned birds as far as I can recall and can prove with childish pictures taken by people I haven’t called “parents” in a very long time took of me centuries ago), but then, in a very nicely formulated text, the platform itself wondered that, if I suddenly wanted those mails not to be automatically muted, there were at least another three tags that should also appear again…or I might lose an important email (just for my knowledge, of course).

At the end of the day, all mails made my screen shine like a Christmas tree.

Now, the thing is, as days passed, I started to get lazy. Yeah, I got very obsessed about having to answer to every single message that popped into my dash, but life imposed itself and I ought to cut down something, so in emails it would be. Or at least, that I tried.

Every time I was about to reach the phase of sleeping in which you cannot be awakened (don’t ask me the name, please, it is completely out of my wheelhouse), an email appeared, and it was always something ever so slightly relevant and quite urgent in what the timing for answering was concerned.

Because, apparently, I had received them before but chose not to pay attention, so now I was losing sleep and maybe failing people I cared about. Failing in my studies and professional life…

…that couldn’t happen. So, since that night up to this very moment, I chose to always have my email account open. The pressure for having to answer is still there, but at least it allows me to breath…for now. There is…something off with my fingers…it’s kind of the other reason I had to email this to you…

…I think my fingers and the keyboard…

…maybe it is for the best.

Statement ends.

Well, if Elias wanted to prove that these powers that Leitner spoke about were influential in all aspects of our lives…point for him. Only thing he has done right up to know. That, and cooking quite remarkably for an evil villain; if I wasn’t perpetually stressed out by the chance of police mauling this bloody three stories apartment, I might have already gained quite a few pounds since he extorted me into staying here to be taught.

Eh, well, at least, I haven’t lost even more…Dear Lord, I look like a corpse, which sounds suitable, since I am becoming a monster…

…at least, as long as I keep learning from Elias, Sasha and Martin will be okay…God…they had to face Not-Tim…I…I cannot imagine.

I just hope that, since Grace didn’t say her name on the statement, perhaps, if she is still alive, I won’t also dream of…fuck, I know her name.

Never mind.

End recording.

#a mag a day #a mag a week #mag horror #statement #original statement #the magnus archives #fanfic #tma #magnuspod #jonathan sims #jarchivist #elias bouchard #alternate season 3 #fic #the burried

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outeragent4 · 2 years ago

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*stranger who just sees you on the street* whats wings au.

@zikadraws

Ahh I can't believe I forgot to turn asks on when I set this blog up!! They're enabled now :'') I'm gonna try to splat two squids with one roller flick here, but if anyone is interested I'll probably be doing another art post on the subject very very shortly !!

It's pretty much as it says on the tin-- it's Splatoon but with wings! The thing you can't see on any of the doodles I've done for it so far is that in swim form, they manifest like flying squids! And also I have to assume that feathers change with ink color for most, with some exceptions probably

It's pretty much everyone, but it just so happens that alot of my doodles of this AU are of Agent 4 cause I have some pretty heavy favoritism towards her if you can't tell by the URL :')

Below the cut is a couple doodles of the other playable agents designs (not color wise, those refs will be up shortly I hope!) with some conus thoughts! Warning; it gets sorta long, sorry about that!

Both of the traditional doodles are super quick and messy, so you'll have to forgive me on that, but full-color refs for these designs are upcoming!

3's wings are much more battered and worn down than most's, but it's honestly mostly because whenever they're nervous / stressed, she picks at them. It didn't used to be as bad, because she used to be too busy with the full-time heroing to get too much downtime to worry about things. These days though, with slightly more downtime, their mind tends to wander. This is in stark contrast with...

AGENT 4!!! You're probably here from the original post, but here's her design again anyways! Her wings are visibly pretty small, and always very neat. The thing that alot of people don't realize though, is that she actually grooms herself whenever she's anxious (which is quite alot). Alot of people express praise or envy towards her about how her wings just seem to be naturally well kept, and she cringes basically every time. Also, color note, the back of her wings are that same goldenrod-yellow color. That brings us to...

Agent 8! When people compliment how her wings just seem perfect, those compliments are actually accurate, because she seems to have to put in extremely little effort to keep them neat for whatever reason. She does not understand why people are jealous

#hmmm yeah I'll put this in the Splatoon tag JSKDKDKFJ #Splatoon #Splatoon 2 #Outer Art #sure why not #sorry‚ this is pretty rambly !!#agent 4 is the special girl so i focus on her intentionally or unintentionally alot 💔#I'll probably do idol refs at some point #the wing au

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joanna-lannister · 5 months ago

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JC Fancast Anon here! 👋

Hi! How are you? How’s it going? I hope you’re doing well and have gotten a good lil treat recently! I (I’m in the US) got lavender lemonade at a lavender farm booth at the farmers market and am obsessed! I hope you’ve had a good week in general☺️

I LOVE YOUR NEW ICON 😍😍😍 ngl I had a moment where I was scrolling and (not reading any URLS) went “wait I’ve scrolled a lot where is Jo?” Sorry I call ya Jo not Marie since I don’t actually know you 😅😅 I hope you don’t mind, if you do I will remember and try to stop! anyway it’s a super cute icon 💕

I wanted to update you on my coach umbrella! It mostly works 😂 it is very much for light rain, or short walks/runs from the car to my job when it’s a heavy rain. It been a HIT on sunny walks 😉 3 compliments at least now!

Also! I watched 1 (just 1 so far 😅) Sofia Coppola film, Marie Antoinette! I LOVED IT! The costumes! The colors! The vibes! 😍😍😍😍 also young Jaime Dornan omfg had no idea he was in it! What a hottie!

Are you excited for S2 of HOTD? I’m kinda nervous about it cause it was made during the strike but a part of me hopes GRRM helped improve it a bit??? Idk I THINK I’m excited!

Anyway just checking in with ya, summer is coming up so I hope you can stay dry and cool (we get stupid humid in the summer hope you don’t suffer that!)

-❤️ JC Fancast Anon

HIIII! Sorry for the late reply, as I said last night my meds were kicking in and my brain was like "Time to fall asleep!" 😂

I'm fine as I can be, still struggling with sleep and depression tho, but I'm writing which helps a lot and keeps me busy. Lavender lemonade? Didn't know that existed but that sounds delicious 👀

AAAAH I'M GLAD YOU LOVE MY NEW ICON! ❤️ It's giving me modern au Cersei summer vibes. And I don't mind you calling me Jo! it makes a lot of sense actually. And it's kinda funny because that's how I nickname JC's daughter in my fics 😂😂 But I'm still getting used to the change of this new icon, I feel a bit weird about it because I was so used to the red lips lmao

I'm glad your umbrella mostly works! AND YES COMPLIMENTS! It's always nice to get some 😌

YES MARIE ANTOINETTE! IT'S MY FAVE! I'm so glad you loved it, the aesthetic is pure pleasure to the eyes. And yes, he's a hottie! You should try The Virgin Suicides next (and if you can, read the book too). I have Priscilla on my laptop that I need to watch, but I keep procrastinating 😬

About HOTD, I'm kinda both excited and scared at the same time! I hope the storylines and the writing will be handled way better than in S1, but we won't have any time jumps (I think the quality of the first season suffers from those time jumps) so I have some faith it might be better? Also, I keep looking at the spoilers and leaks, I can't help myself 😂😭

And yes, summer is coming up! I hope we won't suffer a heat wave but ugh, I have little faith in that 😭 I hope but it will be a nice summer tho, and that you can stay dry and cool too!

#jc fancast anon ❤️#anon #answered

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whistl-stahp · 2 months ago

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not to get too sappy in the middle of the nnight when i haven't actually posted anything real on here in like 6 month but god where would i be without scp

i've always obsessed long and hard so i can like. Literally count spans of my life with what i was obsessed with at the time. i don't know if it's hypercixating but if it is, some people hyperf ixate short but I Do Not. and my last big one before scp was bad and it was a bad game by bad people with bad fans and everhytime i thought about it i got upset to the point where i was like I acrually need to stop thinking of this game for my mental health. and after that i wasn't really into anything like i floated between some shows and stuff but i wasn't Into Anything like i always was and it Sucked

+ i had know m about scp even when into the game and then i started casually reading it in school after a while of not being into anything and then got really into it and. i knew about some wopap stufffor a while. but then i stumbled upon 5156 by complete accident and was Hooked it was Amazing. i came back to it like 3 times afterwards and then figured out oh this isa cqnon and then oh man i already like some of these scps and they're all connected?. and then bam that's what i latched on to.

i read everything in the series page and then the 43 system tag and then while rereading the mxtape after getting more into scp and actually knowing what awcy is i was like haha bet that url is open. and it was

and then Awesome news! barely anyone on social media has posted about this! Ever! so i was just making 0 note text posts for nobody for ever?! and then other people started posting it and i don't know if they would have done it on this site specifically if i hadn't started posting but who cares holy shit they like the obscure stuff i'm into?!?!?!! and we're talking and shit and i'm getting some of them to read the other serieses i like?!??!!!!!!?????!!?

and just taking a step back like. wopap getting me to actually read again was such a good thing for me because i was scrolling social media way too much or playing games in class instead of other productive stuff. spending hours reading instead was really good for me. and mxtape. i. don't even think i can put into words how big of an impact mxtape had had on my life im like crying ish writing this it was and is genuinely life changing

i know scp authors and artists are just People. but it was so scary and exciting to have cool people sometimes pop up in my notifications like do you know i admire and study your work... do you know some of you have genuinely changed my life....... i never ever expected some of the creators whose works i've posted about to ever see the stuff i say. i know they like hearing that stuff but i'm always so nervous i'm being annoyin so i don't dm them my text posts or anything. i've only talked about 43 and mxtape but holy hell admonition and no return and everything all so amazing you're all so talented do you all know th at!!!!!!!!!! yes even you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!maybe even if you haven't posted to main site and we've just left each other a message in tags or something a bunch of times or once or never i still love you!!!!!

i'm probably gonna start posting again once deadlined starts releasing. which means i'll have the motivation to look at all the cool admonition art that released when i've been obsessing over undertale yellow (im always be an undertale girlie at heart) and maybe will post some art if im brave enough? did i mention how much scp stuff i drew all the time it was a problem. i don't even care if i post it and it gets 0 notes that's how it goes baby. if you send proof of donating to my pinned i'll draw u something too just don't expect something elaborate

the moral of the story is be really fucking annoying about stuff you like all the time O.K. i have learned that moral from this blog and taken that moral into everything and now i have friends. god this post got really long i don't have an actual conclusion. i love scp you guys are all so nice!!!!! you're all so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

god i lve scp so much holy shit

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tinyjeanmarco · 4 years ago

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jean relationship hc’s!

greetings! i realized my url name includes jean and marco and i haven’t written anything for them, so i’m gonna write some jean headcanons here and then post some marco ones later! i love these men so much. (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) jean’s character arc has to be one of my favorites, it’s just so lovely how much he changes and grows.

jean x gn!reader

warnings: minor manga spoilers for chap 127, mentions of marco’s death, kinda angsty?

okay so, first off, this man would get into fights left and right with eren about you. he would always make comments about how hot you are, and eren would be like, “dude, shut the fuck up?”

you were never around when he made these comments, so eren, being your good friend, would get mad at jean for being creepy.

he never meant for it all to come off weird to everyone else. he just has a mega freaking crush on you.

everyone also thought he had a crush on mikasa too, so it was even more annoying.

one day though, eren was just real mad at jean, getting into fights as they usually do, and eren decided to fuck him over.

he went up to you after dinner one night and told you about jean’s raging crush on you. this took you by surprise, but you were kinda pleased.

when he saw you all flustered about it, eren just got even more angry.

“you’re telling me you like that stupid horse face back?!” and you shyly nodded.

he just threw his hands up in exasperation and walked away.

now, you had to go find that stupid horse face and tell him you like him too.

you found him still at the dinner table with connie and sasha, so you asked him if you guys could talk alone for a second.

cue connie and sasha cat calling because they’re those kind of friends.

jean tells them to shut up, but as if that would do anything.

he follows you to an empty hallway and asks you what’s up, cuz he’s a bit worried. he’s never seen you so nervous before.

then it hits him that maybe you know about his crush?

“whatever you heard, it’s not true.”

“o- oh. it’s not?” you visibly deflate and he’s quick to pick up on this.

“maybe?” cue you telling him that if it is, you return the feelings and this boi is dumbstruck and confused because his crush is admitting feelings for him. he does a mental fist pump. or maybe an actual one and you’re just like “wut.”

after you two talk it out more though, he officially asks you to be his s/o to which you say yes to.

lemme tell you, jean boy is a clingy one. he hangs off you any time he’s around you now that he has the ability to do that. always pressing kisses to your lips and wrapping his arms around you.

you two actually get in trouble a lot for sneaking off to make out, which is always jean’s fault. he just can’t keep his lips to himself, okay?

always pet his hair or he will throw a fit and become cranky. he loves when you scratch his head while petting his hair. it really helps him fall asleep when you guys are cuddling.

when jean decided he wanted to grow out his little mullet that he has, and grow some facial hair, you hopped on that train so HARD. like uhm, yes sir, please do. you look good already but the new hair will be some EXTRA hotness.

him rubbing his stubble on you to tickle you when you both are just relaxing together. he takes any chance he can to rub it on your cheek or neck. it’s just so funny to see your reaction to it.

post time skip jean is really tired of all the fighting, so i think that he sometimes just has to take a break and he hides himself away from everyone for some peace and quiet.

you usually find him wherever it is that he decides to hide that day, and just sit next to him, pulling him into a comforting embrace.

you’ve learned that talking to him about it doesn’t really help, and can sometimes make him feel even worse, so you just sit there, giving him your warmth to remind him that not everything is quite so bad. you have each other.

he’s really grateful to always have you at his side, and he never fails to tell you so whenever the mood strikes him. he just loves you so freaking much and doesn’t know how he got so lucky to have you.

he breaks the silence you two have when you’re sitting together to tell you about his daydreams where you two live together, have a nice home and started a family. that those thoughts are what keep him going and give him strength to fight.

please hold him tight when he breaks down crying, telling you that he can’t ever lose you because you are his whole world. sometimes you start crying too and both of you become a giant mess.

when you guys look up to the stars, you both like to talk to marco, hoping that somewhere out there, he hears you guys and misses you two just as much.

when he found out the real reason why marco died, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him from beating up reiner, tears also pooling in your eyes. after he stalked off, you walked silently after him, pulling him into a tight hug. you both cried, leaning against a tree, holding each other until you fell asleep.

moving awaaaay from the sad stuff, jean loves spending money on you. he goes into town? buys you food from the market he knows you love.

his favorite things to buy you are those little fruit pastries from a bakery. he loves buying them because he also gets to eat them, and the flavor just reminds him of being with you since you were the one who introduced him to them.

definitely hard to sneak them around sasha, but you two manage.

whenever you guys have a day off, he’s so excited to go on walks with you outside the walls now that they’re free of titans. of course you still gear up and bring horses just so you two don’t run into any bad situations, but he loves spending his days off with you.

give jean love, okay? he deserves it after all the shit that’s happened to you all on paradis. hug him a ton. kiss him a ton. just make the boy happy. (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

#jean kirschtein x reader #jean x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #jean kirschstein #jean kirschtein headcanons #aot headcanons #attack on titan headcanons #aot #snk #snk x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirstein x reader

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awritingtree · 3 years ago

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The Glistening Sun and The Glowing Moon

Remus Lupin x Hufflepuff!reader

Summary: Remus Lupin has finally gotten a chance to spend time with his long-term crush but he messes up. Will she forgive him? Will he ever build up the courage to tell her how he feels?

@slytherinquill’s writing challenge: Prompt 16. ***A: *In a conversation with B* So… What do we do now?C: “In the other room* What did they say?!A: Stop eavesdropping if you’re not even going to be good at it!*** The prompts have been bolded :)

Someone please tell me if they know the new url because I never know when people change it

Words: ~3.3k

Warnings: scars, self-deprecation/hate, body issues, slight bullying about appearance, pining, fluff, tiny bit of angst,

A/N: so I tried my best with how having scars and everything feels. I’m posting after ages because I'm really busy studying for my med school exam and tbh I was lazy. But I finally posted!! I hope you enjoy this xx

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Remus Lupin often found himself pondering what he had done to receive a cruel fate. What had he been thinking when he fell for Y/N Y/L/N, the girl that brightly lit up every room she entered. The girl who was not only smart but kind and modest too, the girl who excelled in her lessons with hard work and perseverance. The girl that was so beautiful, she was a walking masterpiece.

They could not be more different. While Y/N spoke to almost everyone, had friends in every house, Remus could only call seven Gryffindors his friends.

Remus cowered in fear; made himself look much smaller than he is to hide away from the rest of the world. But Y/N Y/L/N; Y/N would walk around with her head held up high, wearing the scar that stretched from the beginning of her right eyebrow, down across her nose and cheek and to her left jaw proudly. Remus had always noticed her around, she was good friends with Lily but she had never interacted with any of the Marauders. Well not unless you count the times she'd tell them to be quiet when they were causing a ruckus during class.

Remus had spoken to Y/N once, on a complete accidental note. He’d heard her complaining to her friends about how she was nervous about the upcoming Potions assignment as they waited for Professor McGonagall to allow them into her classroom. He had blurted it out thoughtlessly like a complete and utter fool.

“I could tutor you!”

His eyes had widened, his face flushing as she turned around with a confused look on her face, wondering who’d spoken. When her Y/E/C eyes fell on his blushing face she’d smiled softly.

“Really?” she had asked with a hopeful glint in her eyes.

Remus’ hair had flopped everywhere as he had nodded vigorously, stuttering out a quiet yes. Her friends had giggled at his flustered behaviour causing his scarlet face to redden further. But Y/N, Y/N had taken no note of his embarrassing behaviour and thanked him for his offer saying she would talk to him soon. The hope in his chest had blossomed like a sunflower under the spring sun.

But that had been a week ago and Remus had not yet held one conversation with her. He’d often witnessed her walking around the corridors with her friends who seemed to always start giggling when he passed by them, probably laughing about their previous encounter, one he believed he had completely humiliated himself in. The only interaction Remus had with Y/N in the past week was the smiles they shared whenever they saw each other and so, his hope dwindled.

“Why don’t you just ask her out, Moony?”

Remus snapped out of his daydream at the sound of James’s voice. He blushed as Y/N sent him a smile, realizing he’d been caught staring. Sending a shy smile back he looked away.

He slammed his head against the wooden table groaning, “Kill me. Just kill me, Prongs.”

“I thought Padfoot was supposed to be the dramatic one,” Peter commented.

Remus lifted his head to send his friend a glare as Sirius exclaimed in protest.

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Lily asked kindly.

Remus leaned against his arm, the heel of his palm tucked under his chin as his hazel eyes drifted back to the girl sitting on the Hufflepuff table.

“She’s just so beautiful, intelligent, kind and I’m just… me.”

He sighed, placing his hands on his laps and playing with them, his blond hair falling onto his forehead brushing against his eyelashes whenever he blinked. All his friends frowned at his insecure thoughts, they hated the way he saw himself. They desperately wished that their friend could see the way they saw him, the way everyone saw him, but himself.

“That’s not true-”

“Hello, Remus.”

Remus' head snapped up at the sound of the sweet voice, the voice that sounded like tiny bells chiming in the wind to his ears.

“Hi- hi. Hello Y/N.”

Y/N giggled slightly at his stuttering but in a manner that didn’t make him feel like she was laughing at him.

“I was wondering if it would be alright if we met up at the library today?”

Remus let out a sound, flabbergasted. Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly proceeding to justify her request.

“I mean you said you’d help me with the upcoming Potions assignment! I thought I would take you up on the offer,” she said in a hurry.

Remus stared at her in disbelief. Only when a sharp pain shot through his shin did he open his mouth.

“Oh um. Yes. Alright. Of course. Today. Library. Potions. No problem. Okay. Yes.”

Y/N relaxed, smiling at him gratefully.

“Thank you!” she said, bouncing slightly in place, “Is after classes alright?”

Remus mutely nodded, dumbfounded, his mind still processing what was happening.

“Great. See you then!” Y/N said before heading back to her group of friends who were watching the entire scene play out at the Hufflepuff table, walking with a newfound skip in her steps.

“You are pathetic,” said Sirius as he watched his friend slam his head back onto the table.

It would surely leave a mark based on how loud the smack sound was.

He had once again humiliated himself in front of Y/N and this time he believed there was no way to redeem himself. There was no chance in hell that she didn’t believe he was a complete moron.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Remus had been hyping himself up the entire day, barely concentrating on any word that left his professors’ mouths. He spent the full day preparing himself to not make a fool out of himself again.

He took a deep breath and shook out the nerves from his body before walking into the library at the end of the day towards the table where Y/N was already sitting.

Her Y/H/C was pulled back into a low ponytail, a few stray strands framing her gorgeous face. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she scanned the book open in front of her. The scar on her face was light, standing out prominently under the bright sunlight streaming in through the window she was sitting next to. In her hands was a quill which she was twirling around absentmindedly as she looked for information in the pages before her.

Remus stood afar for a while, admiring her simplistic beauty, one that never once managed not to take his breath away.

He slowly strode up to the table once he realized he had been staring at her for an amount of time that was borderline creepy. He quietly placed his bag near the foot of his chair as he sat down on it, slouching.

Y/N jumped in her seat at the quiet greeting he whispered. Her startled Y/E/C eyes relaxed as they landed on his figure. She pushed a strand of hair out of her face.

“Sorry,” she muttered, “I was a bit startled.”

Remus smiled endearingly at the sight of her crimson cheeks, “It’s all right. I should’ve used a better method to make you aware of my presence rather than scaring you.”

Y/N quickly pulled out her Potions textbook from her bag, removing another spare piece of parchment along with it.

“So where shall we begin?” she asked with a small grin.

The two got to work; Remus explaining the assignment and what was required while Y/N sat and listened. The sky outside began to change colours, the blue fading into an ocean of orange, pink, purple and red. The sunlight switched from a bright to a deep shade of orange.

Y/N admired Remus’ face as the setting sun cast shadows on his features. His light brown hair resembled a golden halo at the top of his head in the sunshine. His green-coloured eyes mesmerized her; she had always loved the colour of his eyes. They reminded her of the vast forest standing out at the edge of Hogwarts, the luscious grass, the mint that gave her the morning mint tea. Remus held the colours of budding spring in his eyes; ever-young, bold and beautiful. Y/N’s eyes trailed the shape of Remus’ eyebrows, the sharpness of his rosy cheeks, the prominence of his jaw. She outlined the curves of his mouth, his tongue poking out every few minutes to wet his pink chapped lips.

“Hello? Y/N?” Y/N blinked, almost comically, as Remus’ deep voice brought her out of her daydream.

Her cheeks unwillingly burned under his stare, ashamed that she had been caught daydreaming about him, not that he knew that in particular.

“Yes, yes. Sorry,” she said.

Remus peered at her through his eyelashes, “It’s okay. I know it can get a bit boring.”

Y/N paid no mind to his words, frowning as she noticed his slouching body, trying to make himself appear shorter than he was. His head was hunched over, his neck never fully straight, concealing his face from the world.

Y/N ignored the worried look on Remus’ face and reached forward to brush the hair covering his dreamy eyes out of his forehead. His hair was soft just like she’d had dreamt it would be.

Remus stared at her, his lips slightly parted in shock. The feeling of her smooth hand running through his hair putting him in a daze. Her hand trailed the side of his face, stopping under his chin lifting his head to stand straight up. Remus’ eyes dropped to the chipped wood on the tabletop as she whispered a question.

“Why do you hide yourself?”

Before Remus could respond, a band of Slytherins passed by their table snickering.

One of the members spoke, “Look what we have here. The scarfaces are friends.”

The group burst out laughing. Y/N went to stand up, enraged and ready to give them a piece of his mind but a hand pulling her back down stopped her. She turned to look at Remus confused as to why he was stopping her.

“Leave it,” he whispered, “Reacting will only make it worse.”

The pit of snakes walked out of the library yelling out other taunts and not quietening down even as Madame Pince shushed them.

Y/N gazed at Remus who could not seem to meet her eyes. Upon hearing the rustling of papers, Remus looked up to see Y/N packing her bag, upset.

“Y/N, wait!”

“I’m sorry Remus. Thank you for your help but I need to go,” she said before hastily making her way out of the library without giving him a chance to reply. Remus watched Y/N’s retreating figure defeatedly until she disappeared. Remus sighed, burying his face into his hands.

‘Why can’t you do anything right?’ he scolded himself.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Another week passed by. During this week, Remus did all he could to apologize to Y/N but she would not give him the time of the day. She avoided him like the plague; leaving the Great Hall when he entered, sitting as far away as possible in the lessons they shared, took different longer routes to her lessons through which she knew there would be no chance of bumping into him. She even went as far as spending all of her free time in the Hufflepuff common room, never once stepping foot into the library.

Others didn’t know why she was so upset. No one knew what it was like to live with such imperfections displayed on their face for all to see.

Y/N understood that Remus didn’t like others to see his scars but that did not mean she didn’t. She had worked so hard to build her confidence up to what it was. She had put a lot of effort into priding herself on how she looked, not to be ashamed. She had taught herself not to cower away from her reflection or due to the weight of others’ whispers and stares. So when Remus, the one person she had expected to understand, had stopped her from standing up for herself, for them, she felt hurt.

It may be an overreaction and Y/N should’ve forgiven Remus by now but when he had told her to sit back and quietly listen to the horrendous opinions others had about them, she felt annoyed, offended, hurt. But most importantly she felt disfigured.

Remus knew he had messed up. He had messed up big time. He had never been satisfied with how he looked, the scars marking his face making him feel ugly. But that was until he had seen Y/N in their second year. The Hufflepuff girl with a scar similar to his, who wore the scar like a brave warrior.

Remus had believed he was helping her when he’d stopped her from fighting with the Slytherins but it seemed he had made things much worse because by not speaking up against their vile words. He had in a way confirmed their words, confirmed that the scars were ugly, a thing to be ashamed of and disgusted by. He had unintentionally said that he believed their words to be true, that he thought he was hideous, that Y/N’s face was repulsive.

“Talk to her.”

“What the bloody hell do you think I’ve been trying to do this past week?” Remus asked, annoyed as he shoved another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

It was his third chocolate bar of the day and it was only noon.

“I mean corner her. Give her no means to escape then she’ll have to listen,” Sirius shrugged, moving about their shared room to fall face-first onto his bed.

“Bad move. She’ll hate you even more,” James said, his voice muffled by his pillow.

“What other option does he have left?” Peter spoke up as he ate yet another piece of cauldron cake.

“I should just leave her alone,” said Remus quietly, playing with a loose thread on his sweater, “It’s clear she wants nothing to do with me.”

He gazed at the thread for a bit, his mouth turned down.

“I think I’m going to go for a walk. Clear my head,” he said, getting up and leaving.

Sirius lifted his head from his head to look at his two best friends, “I think we know what to do boys.”

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

After a long walk through the grounds of Hogwarts, Remus was making his way back to the Gryffindor common room, his head in a much better mindset than before. The corridor was surprisingly empty but he guessed everyone must be in their rooms, catching up on some much-needed sleep or doing the humongous pile of work they’d been assigned.

Remus paused and looked around the corridor thinking he had heard some footsteps. He shrugged and continued on his way when his eyes saw nothing but armours and portraits. Suddenly a push forced him into a classroom, the door locking behind him.

Remus stumbled before starting to bang on the door in a panic. “Hey! This is not funny! Open up!”

“Don’t bother,” a silky voice cut his shouting short, “I’ve been trying that for the past few minutes and no one is opening the door.”

Realization dawned on Remus. He turned around to face Y/N, a guilty look on his face, “I think I might know who is responsible.”

“Your friends. I know, it became obvious when you were shoved into the door.”

Remus smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry. I don't know what they were thinking. They shouldn’t have-”

“Remus,” she stopped his ramble, “It’s okay. I know you weren’t involved in whatever they planned.

“You never seem to be,” she shrugged.

Remus looked at her curiously, “What do you mean?”

Y/N looked down at the feet, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks as she realized what she seemed to have admitted.

“Your pranks. I’ve noticed you usually don’t participate in many of them.”

Remus raised his eyebrows at her confession, “Yo- you’ve noticed me?”

Y/N looked up and gazed into his eyes, “I’ve always noticed you.”

Remus gulped, lost on what to do next, “Why?”

Y/N smiled at Remus walking up to him.

To Remus, Y/N may glisten like the sun but to Y/N, Remus glowed. He glowed like the moon hanging in the night sky taking attention away from the billions of twinkling stars. He glowed to bring light on the darkest of nights.

Remus’s eyes closed in pleasure, suppressing a shiver as she traced his scars endearingly.

“Why?” she whispered.

Remus let out a shaky breath at her proximity, her breath fanning his lips.

“Because I find you to be exquisite, Remus Lupin.”

Remus gasped as Y/N’s lips touched his. His eyes fluttered shut as their lips moved against each other slowly and clumsily, testing the new waters they found themselves in.

Y/N pulled away and began to press soft kisses against his scars. In between each sentence she spoke, “You are intelligent. You are kind. You are caring. You are beautiful.”

She cupped his face in her hands looking directly into his teary eyes, trying to make him believe that she meant every single word that fell from her lips from the bottom of her heart, “You are perfect Remus.”

Remus pressed his lips firmly against Y/N’s, encircling an arm around her waist bringing her closer as his other hand cupped her face and tilted it allowing him to deepen the kiss. Y/N’s hands left Remus’ face and buried themselves in his hair, tugging at it. Their lips moved passionately against each other, their senses overwhelmed with the amount of serotonin coursing through their veins.

They pulled away from each other with giddy smiles on their faces. Remus tucked her hair behind her ear before trailing down to admire the crescent moon necklace that hung around her neck, the metal cold against his warm fingertips.

“So... what do we do now?” Remus asked insecurely.

Y/N was stopped from answering at the sounds of rustling and whispering, “What did they say!?”

Remus sighed in exasperation before shouting, “Stop eavesdropping if you’re not even going to be good at it!”

A thump of a body falling against the floor and a few curses later, the sound of receding footsteps echoed through the otherwise empty corridor and classroom.

Remus smiled lovingly at the sight of Y/N trying to hush her giggles by covering her mouth.

“I’m sorry about them,” said Remus after her giggling died out.

“They are not much different from my friends,” Y/N reassured him, “They were chaperoning our study date last week. I’m surprised you didn’t notice them.”

“Study date, huh?” Remus questioned with a smirk.

“Well yeah,” Y/N shrugged, looking at her hands nervously fidgeting with the hem of Remus’ sweater, “At least I hoped it was.”

Remus chuckled, glad to not be the one who was flustered for once. He placed two fingers below Y/N’s chin to lift her gaze to his.

“Actually, I was hoping I could take you out on a proper first date tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? But it’s a-”

“Sunday, yes. But my plans don’t involve Hogsmeade.”

“That’s only if you have the time. If you want to,” Remus quickly added, hoping it didn’t look like he was forcing her into anything.

Y/N smiled lovingly, “I would love to.”

In Y/N’s opinion, the consequent radiant smile that overtook Remus’ face outshone the sun, moon and stars combined.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

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