#i always feel like im repeating myself in these fuckin tags

[honeymoonjin]

green room - jungkook x reader

A/N: anon request for a post-concert jealous Jungkook. He’s not happy that you were teasing him while he was performing Euphoria, and now it’s time for you to get your just-desserts. Word count 1.8k. Warnings for sexually explicit content: exhibitionism, public sex, unprotected sex, dom!jk, sub!reader, dirty talk, cum eating (does it count as cum eating when it’s hers not his?).

His breath is hot on your neck. “Did you think that was funny, hm?”

“Not here, Jungkook.”

“Oh?” He’s smiling but it’s bitter, harsh. “Is my baby girl making demands now? See, I’m pretty sure when you decided that teasing me out there in front of all those cameras was a good idea, you lost your right to decide where exactly I’ll fuck you.”

You press your body back into the concrete of the stadium hallway, shivering at the way the coldness seeps past your t-shirt. “Jungkook, come on. I was just playing around.”

You can hear the way footsteps echo throughout the area’s backstage area. This hallway is all but abandoned for now, but it’s impossible to not feel exposed when someone could pass through at any moment. Jungkook has one hand propped up on the wall, elbow crooked above your right shoulder as he leans in. Unlike you, he seems completely unconcerned about any onlookers. “Alright, then. You had your fun. It’s my turn to play now.”

“Jungkook, please,” you whisper, but all protests die in your throat as he takes his other hand and slips it without hesitation into your leggings, cupping your heat. He lets out a surprised laugh when there’s no additional barrier between the cotton and your folds. “The panties leave an outline,” you defend, “that was the only reason. I swear.”

His middle finger curls up, slipping easily between your folds and pressing against you. You whimper and writhe against him, thighs tightening around his hand. Although your cheeks burn at the thought of getting caught, you can’t help but wish he would at least sink that digit deep inside you, hitting those spots only he could.

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. I have to watch you sitting on Hoseok-hyung’s lap the entire time I was performing the solo, and now I find out you weren’t even wearing panties? You’re just begging to be punished, aren’t you?”

You swallow hard, shaking your head. “No, that’s not it, Jungkookie. Please.” At this point you don’t even know if you’re asking him to stop or pleading for more. You crack open your eyes, only to see his face hovering over yours, drinking in your reaction.

His tongue darts out to wet his lips, eyes darkening. “You seem to think it’s perfectly okay to tease me in public when I’m trying to work, so surely you wouldn’t care too much if Hoseok himself were to walk around that corner right now and see you with my hand buried inside you?”

You let out a little frustrated huff and throw your head back, knocking it against the concrete. The tip of his finger was circling slowly, pressing down right at your entrance, but never dipping in. Your hands clasp in and out of fists, wishing you could reach down and push him in, but you know if you did that, you’d have far bigger problems to deal with than his jealousy. “Come on, Jungkook, take me to your dressing room. Take me home. I need you.”

The hand is removed from your leggings, leaving you wet and wanting. You watch blearily as Jungkook begins to lap casually at his fingers, licking all your slick off of them with a doe-like expression on his face. If it weren’t for the glint in his eyes and the ache of your cunt, you might mistake it for innocence. “I’ll give you a choice,” he offers, sucking noisily at the tips of his fingers, cleaning them one by one with a pop, maintaining eye contact as he does so. Once he’s finished, his hand goes to the wall so that he’s pinning you to it, not bothering to wipe away the gloss that gathers over the freckle under his bottom lip. “Either I fuck you here like the shameless little girl you are, or I’ll take you home and you’ll get nothing at all. How about that?”

You glare up at him, but he just grins, knowing he’s got you right where he wants you. You hold his gaze for one moment longer, making sure he’s serious, before you come to a decision. “Make it fast,” you mutter reluctantly, hands grabbing at the belt on his jeans.

He lets out a satisfied chuckle, propping himself up as you undo the buckle hurriedly, tugging at his zip to free him from the confines of his black skinny jeans. As usual, you can’t help your mouth from watering at the sight of him. Although the two of you had been together for long enough and were no strangers to the bedroom, his dick really was a statement in and of itself, fitting the man it belonged to so well. Perfectly straight and delicately curved up, it was ambitious in its length and intimidating in its girth. You thumb at the head, collecting the few beads of precum that your grasping of him has produced.

Were it any other time, he would’ve let out that beautifully melodic sigh of his, curled closer into you, but today he masks it with a hiss of air through his teeth, dark brows furrowed. “That’s it,” he makes out through a tensed jaw, “so desperate for cock that you didn’t even care whose it was, is that right?”

“No,” you protest with a whine, taking one last glance down the hallway before you throw caution to the wind and tug at your own waistband, pushing the fabric down under your ass, feeling how wet the crotch is now that its pressed between your thighs.

Jungkook simply shakes his head at you when you go to grab his dick again. “How am I supposed to fuck you like this if your leggings are keeping your legs together? Either take them off or turn around.”

You swallow down your annoyance at him but can’t deny the swell of pleasure that rises inside of you when you turn and lean into the wall, letting your boyfriend widen your stance with his boots pushing at the insides of your ankles. You gasp and jump when an ice-cold hand, the one that had been propped up on the concrete wall, dips down between your legs to gather your slick.

“You know,” Jungkook says conversationally, in an infuriatingly loud tone, “your ass looks so beautiful like this. Bent over for me. But I think it’ll look much more beautiful tonight, after I’ve spanked you raw.” You whine and sway your hips from side-to-side slightly, hoping he’ll take pity on you and hurry up. “Since Hoseok-hyung enjoyed your ass so much, maybe I should send him a picture.” You naturally tense up with anticipation when you feel the blunt head of Jungkook’s cock pressing against your entrance. “So he knows that what he got is fucking nothing compared to this. So he knows who this ass belongs to. Hm?”

You hold back a strangled moan when he snaps his hips, burying himself about halfway inside you, you having clenched too hard for him to make it all the way in. “Oh, god,” you moan out, muffling the noise against your arm.

He laughs condescendingly. “But that might not be necessary. After all,” he stops to punctuate his statement with a thrust, plunging himself to the hilt and grinding his hips against you, “Hoseok and the other hyungs are in the green room right now, just around that corner.” He fucks into you again and your mouth falls into an o, toes curling inside your shoes, and fingernails scratching at the polished concrete. “Why bother sending a photo when I can just make you scream so loud that he hears you?”

With that said, he reaches forward to grab a handful of your hair, and tugs your head back, using his grip to give him momentum as he begins a steady, unforgiving rhythm. The stretch is tight; had it not been for the limits of doing this right where anybody could see you, Jungkook would’ve fingered you properly first, probably brought you to an orgasm to relax your body enough to take him. But with no time for that, the intrusion is making you pant hopelessly against the wall, fogging the cold surface with your breath as each brutal thrust lifts you up onto the balls of your feet.

“Fuck, Jungkook, I can’t-” You do your best to keep quiet, biting your lip, but it’s no use. With your neck arched back, you can’t bury your face properly onto your forearm, so the noises that do escape echo freely around the empty corridor, bouncing off the walls.

“What was that?” He breathes heavily, the hand that isn’t in your hair is curling tightly around your hip, latching onto your hipbone to pull you back onto his cock every time he spears forward. You’re certain it’ll bruise tomorrow, but for now you don’t care. “Are you close?”

“Not- yet,” you puff out, though Jungkook surely knows that. As much as you can feel pleasure all the way down to your toes, you and him both know you can’t cum from penetration alone, certainly not in such a short time.

“Take your time,” he sneers out, “I’m happy to just keep on going until you cum around me. No rush.”

You whine out his name but he just laughs, thrusting even harder with a grunt of exertion. There’s no way anyone near the corridor wouldn’t have heard you; being a concert venue, the sound traveled so well that you wouldn’t be surprised if the sound was echoing all the way around to the green room, like Jungkook said. The thought makes your body sing, clenching around him, but the small piece of sanity inside you cringes at the thought.

“Can I… Jungkookie, can I touch myself?”

“Fuck, yes, touch yourself for me. Good girl.”

You do as he allows, feeling that warm spreading feeling of a building orgasm inside you the moment your fingers, frigid cold from the concrete, massage frantically at your clit. “Oh god, I’m gonna-” You cut yourself off in favor of putting all your effort into cumming, but Jungkook gets the hint, speeding up even more until you’re crying out with every brutal thrust.

Like with any particularly powerful orgasm, you go completely silent; mouth hanging open and body convulsing. Your boyfriend lets you ride that wave, holding himself buried deep inside you as he follows you over the edge, filling you up even more with his cum.

The two of you go slack against the cool wall, panting and sticky with sweat. “Come on,” Jungkook says finally, “unless you want to hang out with the men who just heard me fuck your brains out, I think we should head home.”

[kurtanaaa]

Thank you for your thoughts in the tags. I went super hard cause work was slow today lol. I listen to Halsey when I'm in a MoodTM you know. I had so much fun picturing all of this. Can't believe i still have this many feels about glee all these years later

i SO GET IT I ALSO LISTEN TO HALSEY WHEN IM IN A MOOD™ badlands is just. the Mood™ album for me. also trouble and is there somewhere are genuinely such lyrical bangers to me idc idc!!!

i never know how exactly to explain the weird connection i seem to have formed with glee? i was talking to someone i went to middle school with today about glee (because life is strange and the past comes back to haunt me through my interests) and like. honestly the show is not that great. like objectively? its pretty fuckin bad for a lot of reasons. but (and i think ive said this before) theres something so compelling to me about a bunch of kids communicating through music and finding a family of their own through music, just because music so fundamentally important to the way i think.

and the way that the characters were played... the cast is made up of so many genuinely talented people who gave so many layers to a bunch of characters who may have otherwise been completely one-dimensional. i could see how someone would find any of them boring and superficial had they been played by someone less talented. and its because theres so much potential there that wasnt explored beyond what little the actors tried to give us that keeps me coming back, always. i just keep wanting and hoping that at some point maybe ill find new evidence of the deeper meanings and histories these characters shouldve had, and when i dont find it, i just want to create it myself in my own head.

and that brings me back to the music aspect. this shit goes fuckin full circle. i want to create it myself in my own head, so i turn to all the music ive collected in my silly little spotify library and i crank it and i assign it to the characters and i build up their histories and give them what i think they shouldve had - but only inside my head. but i do it set to music. im communicating my thoughts about glee through music.

im compelled by the characters communicating through music, i stay for the actors giving layers to characters that could be one dimensional, i build off what the actors tried to give us, i think about glee set to music. lather rinse repeat it all comes back around. glee said they were a musical and they made damn well sure they would stay that way even in our goddamn imaginations

i'm talking like ive hit the end of the universe but really im just waxing poetic on a fuckin musical tv comedy. i promise im not high

this is so much more than you expected, im sorry i infodumped about my crazy person brain processes on you. thanks for reading and thank you for the ask!!!!

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part Sixxty Eight/

Word Count:10.9k

A/N: continuation from 67! Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated

Warnings: language, extreme angst, intense therapy sessions, SMUT(bear with me. I haven't wrote smut in a hot minute)

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx​ , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless,, @venus-calum, @justjodeye,  @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland @awesomealmostdopestudent,  @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy,  @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1,  @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe,   @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe​,  @sleepyjunhong @lovemythsworld @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks  @unknownoblivion @siliwanoel @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @kellysimagines @meetthesixxter, @duffshairdye, @xpoisonousrosesx​, @m0rnlngstar, @cranberrirolls, @oskea93, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @minxtruck, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @cruesixxlover1991, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014, @sinningsixx, @motleycrueprincess​

*Nikki's POV*

"Nikki, Vanity is in the hospital. She doesnt want you here but im not taking Arianna to the hospital because I dont waknow what kind of condition Van is in. So, I need you to be here for your daughter, or are you actually the asshole I think you are?"

I stared down at the desk, trying to Process waht was going on, "Nikki? Did you hear me?" My stomach was twisting into knots as my heart felt like it was stuck in a vise grip.

"The hospital? Is-is she okay?" I breathed out the words. You know when you have those moments where it feels as if all time is standing still and you are the only person in the univer? Thats how i was feeling.

"I dont know Nikki! All i know is Arianna wasnt picked up from school. I found her waitin ginside when I left. I tried calling Vanity but she didnt answer and I had a voicemail from the hospital saying she was there and im her only emergency contact she has."

I reached for my water, dowing it until the bottle was empty, "Uh...uh...it's gonna take me hours to get there regardless..."

Clementine scoffed, "Unbelievable, do you not fucking hear me? Vanity is in the hospital!! The mother of your child and so called loved of your life needed medical attention!"

"It's gonna take me hours to get there..." I repeated.

"I don't give a shit Nikki. You have the fancy jet, use it."

I shook my head, "Look, im the last person Vanity wants to see right now. Can't you just send Ari to one of her friends or something.? Can't someone else watch her while you go to the hospital? Clementine, I'm across the country..."

She laughed, "As if I would send her to stay with Jason. I'm her only friend here, Nikki."

I felt my bood boil and my body become tense, "Ja-Jason? She's talking to Jason?" My jaw was clenched as I galred at the doorway, seeing Brandi scowling against it.

"Well Nikki, if you had kept your promise Jason wouldnt be an option." I closed my eyes, breathing through my nose as I shook my head, "He's not a fucking option!!" I yelled back in defense, "He aint even a fucking blimp."

"Are you coming or not? Arianna has already been so upset and stressed out lately. I don't want her to be upset even more. Trust me, Vanity feels the same way."

I glared at Brandi, "Just give me a few hours." I watched as she threw her arms up and shook her head.

"You fucked up this time. I mean it. You can ignore Vanity, but you dont lie to your kid."

"I know! I know! I just...look I'll explain everything whenI get there, alright?" I retorted as I hung up the phone and looked at Brandi, "You! It's all your fucking fault!"

Brandi was appalled, "Me? I did nothing! You were the one who didnt call and kept saying you were too busy! Don't put that on me!"

"I did nothing." I mocked her voice, walking past her and to my bedroom, "As if you didn't fuckin use coke and your body to make stay with you."

I shook my head, quickly grabbing garments from the closet and throwing them on my bed, "Filled my head with bullshit!" I shouted as I threw the duffle bag on the bed next.

Brandi laughed, "Oh come on Nikki. You know who you really want."

I shook my head, trying to rid my ears of her nasaly voice, "Yeah, now I do! Now that I know my daughter has been crying over me and that Vanity is in the hospital! It takes her getting hurt to make me realize it!" I screamed, watching her flich at the loudness, "It always takes Vanity getting hurt to make me fucking realize how much of an asshole I am!!"

God, I fucking hope she's okay.

"Oh my god, she's probably being dramatic! Nikki, please don't go. I just got you back, stay here with me. Please baby?"

"Why?! So you can keep ruining my fucking life? So you can keep going on the lavish trips and shopping sprees?! Fuck you and fuck off! I'm done. If I get back and your shit is still here, I'm burning this fucking house to the ground with you and your shit in it!" I threatened, grabbing my bag and then my car keys right after.

"I'm serious, Brandi. I am done. I'm signing the papers and giving them back to the lawyers."

*A few hours later*

I got out of the rental car, slamming the door as I parked outside Vanit's apartment building. I went inside, repeatedly pushing the elevator button until it opened,. I stood in the elevator, pushing my hair out of my face as I tried collecting my thoughts. I had called Clementine on the plane and she said she was at Vans house waiting for me. I couldn't wait to see Arianna.

The door slid open on her floor as I speed walked down the hallway before I was face to face with her front door. I knocked and waited until it opened.

"Took you long enough." Clementine answered, a bitchy glare on her face as I sighed, "I'm sorry, okay! I am sorry!" I said, almost out of breath as I looked at her.

"I am not the one you need to apolgize too." She snapped at me as my eyes glanced over to Arianna who was staring at me from across the living room.

"Pumpkin.." I got down on one knee, smiling at her, "I've missed you."I frowned when she completely ignored me and walked straight to Clementine.

"I want Mommy." She whsipered, pulling on Clem's hand and looking up at her.

"I'm gonna go get her babe, okay?" I tried reassuring her, but all i got in return was mean glare.

Clementine smirked as I straightened back up, "Good luck, hope you come back in one piece."

*Vanity's POV*

I glared at the wall, sitting uncomfortable as ever with my arm in a sling, dried blood around my nose and six stitches on my forehead. My glare then went to the nurse who entered my hospital room. "Can I just fucking get something for pain?! I'm dying here!!" I yelled at her, they've ignored my requests three fucking times!!

"Hello! Are you fucking stupid or something?!" I groaned, pushing the bed side table towards the nurse as she was standing at the counter.

"And something other then god damn ice chips?!" I shouted grabbing the pink plastic cup and throwing  it out into the hallway.

The nurse turned towards me, "Ma'am, you need to behave. r I will get psych down here to take you to thier side of the hospital. You understand me?" She berated me like a fucking child as I looked away from her and out the window, "I will work on getting you something to drink. Buut I cannot give you any medications." I rolle dmy eyes, pulling my arm away from her touch as she tried to wrap the blood pressure cuff around my bicep.

"Do you have any recollection of what you have put into your system? cocaine and diamorphine were all found in your blood system."

"What the actual fuck is diamorphine?" I qustioned her, rubbing my temples as I felt myself becoming irritated even more.

"Plus, when you came in your blood alcohol contenet was at a point one five and thats three times the legal limit in the state of New York." I looked at the banana bag I was hooked up too, "Diamorhpine is heroin, Vanity."

"Jason..." I mentally cursed him out, "I don't do heroin." I told her as she looked at me with the same look she probably gives other druggies taht tell her the same exact thing.

"Well, we did have difficulty setting up an IV, your veins are shot in both your arms. Luckily, we were able to get the veins in your hands to cooperate or we would have had to do a pick line straight to your heart."

I shook my head, "I don't do heroin. The blow was probably mixed with the heroin. I wouldn't willingly touch heroin. I didn't- I wouldn't."

"You are very lucky the car accident wasn't your fault, but the police will be in touch with you later to get your statement. May I take your vitals now?" The nurse, whose name tag read Margie questioned as I nodded.

"Statement? I don't rember anything. When can I go home? I have a daughter-" I gasped, "I have... i have to call Clementine!" I tried getting out bed but the nused pushed me back gently by my other shoulder.

"Our charge nurse has already conta ted her, now please, relax. I'm sure your child is fine." I took some deep breaths as I relaxed into the stiff bed, "Now, since youre awake and coherent, you dislocated your shoulder and you have a concussion so no blood thinner or it could make it worse. You had a minor laceration on your forehead but the doctor took care of it."

"Sorry to interrupt you Margie, but your patients husband is here." Another female nurse stated.

"I don't have a husband." I told them and right on queue, the blood pressure monitor started beeping eratticaly when I saw Nikki.

"Get out!! I don't want him here!!" I picked up a cup of jello, chucking it as hard as I could at him but he ended up catching it in his hands.

"I thought you said you were her husband?"

"I'd rather fucking kill myself than be married to him!"I shouted at the nurse, her eyes widening at my statement.

"Margie, should I call psych?"

Nikki put the cup of lime green jello on the counter, taking hesitant steps towards me, "I am just here to take you home. Clem called me and I just flew on the jet all the way here. She's with Arianna, she didn't want her to worry."

"You're her ride home?" Nikki nodded, "No! I'm not going anywher with this psycho!" I motioned to Nikki as he frowned.

"Doll, please?"

I pointed my finger at him, "Don't do that to me, Nikki! Don't look at me like that and don't talk to me like that!"

He rolled his eyes, completely ignoring me as he started talking with the nurse, "Can i have her discharge papers, please? She'll be safe with me. She's just a little uh...pissed off at me at the moment. It's nothing new." Nikki tried to laugh as I glared at him and as the jurses looked a bit weary.

"Do you have another ride, Vanity?"

I exhaled in a defeated manenr, "No. I don't."

"Why don't you step outside with our charge nurse while wehelp her get dressed an situated with the sling." Margie explained to Nikki, motioning to the door as he nodded and stepped out.

I pulled up my jeans after they handed them to me followed by my booths. The nurses helped me put my shirt on, with minimal complaints from me about my shoulder hurtinbefore hanging my jacket off my shoulders.

"Van, look, I don't want to be here-"

"You should want to be here, Nikki!" I shouted at him in the middle of the hospital, feeling other doctors and nurses look at us.

"Stop it! Just let me finish! I meant here, in the hospital with you! Clem called and here I am! So i'll take you home and just fucking go back to California if thats's what you want, alright!?" Nikki raised his voice as I stared at him in disbelief.

I vocally let out a "Ugh!" before pushing him to the side, "I can't stand you!"

"Yeah, just keep it coming Vanity. Tell me how much you hate me!" Nikki followed with heavy footsteps as we evenutally made it outside of the hospital, "Fuckin telll me Van! Tell me how horrible I am and how much of an asshole I am! Let's get it out of the way now princess!"

I quickly turned around, shoving him with my free arm repeatedly, "Where were you?!" I yelled, "You bastard! I can't fucking believe you would do this!" I shoved his chest again, forcing him to lean back into the wall as I continued to do so, "i'm so fucking sorry wer're such a bruden to you and your wife!"

"She's not my wife! I was busy!" He defended himself as I shoved him again, "Vanity, knock it off!"

"Busy with what Nikki?! Tommy's been here so don't even tell me it's the band and I highly doubt divorce papers take three months to sign!"

"She tried getting me to stay and-"

"Tried?! Nikki, you did stay! You chose her over me, not even me but your fucking daughter!" I shoved him again, but this time he grabbed my arm and forced it to my side.

"Calm down, now!" He lowered his head, shouting in my face as I fought his grip, "She's getting her shit out while im here! My marriage to her is over! Alright?! Stop acting like a fucking bat out of hell!"

I forced my wrist away from his grasp, "Just take me to my daughter."

"I'm sorry, Vanity. I really am."

I rolled my eyes, opening up his car door before sitting down, "Fucking save it Nikki. You're always sorry."

When we arrived at my apartment door, I unlocked it and tried slamming it in Nikk's face but he stopped it from closing.

"Mommy!" I sighed, trying to keep my tears in check as I picked up Arianna and gave her a hug.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. Mom got into a little trouble and she had to go see the doctors, but im okay now." I smothered her cheeks in kisses, "Pizza and cookies? Wow! Did you tell Auntie Clem thank you?"

Arianna giggled, "We made them for you! And we saved some pizza. Auntie said you would be grumpy and hungry when you got home." I smiled, silently thanking Clementine.

"Boo boo?" Arianna frowned as she pulled on the swing a bit.

I nodded and brushed my finger over her cheek, "Yeah angel, a really big boo boo but i'll be better in no time." I smiled as she kissed my cheek. I saw her then look over my shoulder as I sighed and put her down on the floor, "You should go say hi to daddy while he's here..."

Arianna glared at him before she loooked up at me, "I saw him already."

"Nikki took a few steps before crouching down to her height, "I've missed you princess." He smiled at her and fixed a loose strand of her hair, "Dad's been busy.." Arianna wasn't buying his bullshit either as she walked away from him and went to play with the scattered toys in the living room.

Nikki, the six foot and buck seventy five man that he is, got on his hands and knees and crawled over to her, "You got new toys? Those are pretty cool."

"I want to play by myself." Arianna told him, moving all of her toys away from Nikki and putting them in front of her.

I felt Clementines glaring at me, "I am fine."

"Oh really now?" She laughed a bit, "What the hell even happened Vanity?"

I motioned her to come over to the table and sit down with me so our conversation would be out of earshot from both Nikki and Arianna.

"You cannot get mad, alright? But I maybe snorted a bit too much and drank a little, or a lot. I don't remember crashing, and I sure as hell don't remember getting to the hospital-" I laughed, "And get this, heroin was mixed in with the blow I got from Jason. Isn't that hilarious?"

"Vanity..."

"No worries! It's all good!" I reassured Clementine with a pat on the arm, "I'm fine, I mean kinda. My shoulders dislocated and I have a concussion. They flushed my system, I'm good! I'm great!" I shrugged it off like it was nothing as Clem wore an upset look on her face.

She took off her glasses, rubbing her temples before she looked at me, "Good/" Good until Jason gives you more drugs?"

"I'm not. I'm done. I finished off what he had gave me, I told myself that's all I would do. I'm sorry clem."

She scoffed, "Sorry?" Vanity, you could've been seriously injured or worse. You're wasting money on this crap!" Clementine raised her voice just a tad.

"Well, so what if I am? It's not like I'm broke or poor." i retorted, glancing over and seeing Nikki attempt to get into Arianna's good graces.

"Nice, real nice Vanity." I looked back at Clem, seeign her stone cold glare.

"What?!" I gave her a confused expression, "That was not a shot at you if that's what you are thinking. You're not broke or poor. Your paintings sell and I give you money for being her babysitter."

"I said I wanna play alone!!" We both turned our heads when Arianna had yelled at Nikki, "Give me my dolly!" She yelled again, snatching it out of his hands.

"Princess, I am sorry I've been gone." Nikki spoke with hurt in his voice as he stared at her in shock before he glanced at me for guidance.

"Arianna, c'mon. You can't just ignore me." Nikki smiled before ticking her sides.

I watched as she pushed his hands away from her, "Go away."

"She's as stubborn as you are." Clementine mumbled to me as I nodded.

"I don't want to play with you." Arianna muttered as she moved away from Nikki completely, taking her toys with her but he only followed after her.

"Daddy just has stuff to take care of in California, ya know?" Nikki spoke softly as he laid on his side and tinkered with one of her toys.

"Go back to 'fornia!"

Nikki sighed, narrowing his eyes at her, "Arianna, do not yell at me."

"You lied! Mommy said you lied!"

Remind me to stop gossiping with Clementine while Arianna is within the same vicinity.

Nikki side eyed me before turning his attention back to her, “Babe, I-I didn’t lie. I told you I’d be back and I’m here now.”

“You stutter!”

“Arianna, I didn’t lie to you! Stop yelling at me!” Nikki raised his voice, not necessarily yelling at her but he was stern.

“Liar!” Arianna shouted, throwing her doll at Nikki’s face before she ran down the hallway to her bedroom. I heard her attempt to slam her door but since little tiny fingers and door jams don’t mix well, I had put foam at the top of the wooden frame.

Nikki mumbled as he got off the floor, “Just like your mother.”

“I think maybe you should go…” I told him as his eyes darted over to me.

Nikki shook his head, “I flew all the way out here. She can be stubborn all she damn well pleases, but I’m not leaving.”

“Then you should have called. Kids aren’t stupid.”

I closed my eyes, wishing Clementine had not put her two cents in as I felt Nikki’s anger rise even more.

“Stay the fuck out of it! It isn’t any of your god damn business!” He snapped at her quickly as she rolled her eyes before she stood up and started grabbing her things.

“Clem..” I spoke softly as I watched her shake her head, probably plotting how to murder Nikki and get away with it.

“Not a single fucking thank you for making sure your kid doesn’t know you like to come home high and pass out. That she doesn’t know how much of a fucking asshole her father is.”

I glared at Nikki as he rolled his eyes at me and went to sit down on the couch, “Clementine, I’m sorry. But thank you for making sure Arianna is always safe. I love you?”

She sighed, glancing at me as she looked back at Nikki, “I love you too…just call if you need me okay? Maybe take your mutt to go get neutered, he likes pissing on everything.”

I tried to keep my laughter in, “Bye Clementine, Thank you.”

I closed the door, turning around and leaning against it as Nikki stood in the middle of my living room.

“Can we please talk now? Just you and me.” I watched as he fiddled with his thumbs as I went to the fridge and grabbed my bottle of wine and glass from the cupboard.

“I don’t think you should be drinking if you…” Nikki stopped talking as he was met with my death glare. I sat down on the couch as he sat down next to me.

“You were gone for months, Nikki. You didn’t even call! You barely called at first and then it just stopped. How is that suppose to make me feel? To make your daughter feel?” I expressed my grievances as I poured the sweet red into the glass.

“Vanity, I’m sorry.” He placed his hand on my knee, “I fucked up. I really fucked up. She…Brandi gave me coke and it had me going for a minute. I was an idiot.”

“Blow? She gave you blow? I introduced you to your fucking child and you just run back to la la land because of some fucking dust? Prioritize what’s important to you, Nikki!”

Nikki shook his head, “I thought…I just thought maybe you didn’t really want me back, that it was all just a one time thing.”

That alone sent a knife straight through my heart, “A one time thing?” I stared at him, “After the night we spent together before you left, you really thought that was a one time thing? I wouldn’t of said the things I said if it was just a one time thing.”

“Babe, I was just…she fucking cornered me and it was a moment of weakness.”

I laughed in his face, “More like a moment of stupidity. Let me guess, she offered a few lines to you with her mouth wrapped around your dick again?”

Nikki took the glass of wine out of my hand before pulling me towards him, “I am sorry, okay? I messed up. I listened to the wrong person. I made a horrible mistake. I promise darling, I’m not going anywhere. I’m done leaving. I should have never went back there to begin with, should’ve made the lawyers fly out here.”

I felt his hand wrap around mine as his thumb brushed over my bruised knuckles, “How do I know that Nikki? That you just won’t leave again? That I won’t have to think of some bullshit reason to tell Ari why you aren’t here.”

“Because I’m not going anywhere Van, I swear to god I’m not leaving again. I’m not leaving unless you and her come back home with me. Brandi’s gone, princess. It’s done. She used coke because she knows it’s one of my weaknesses right after you.”

“Why does she have such a hold on you Nikki? I saw the pictures in the magazine. You two looked so happy.” I felt my chest get heavy as tears started building up.

Nikki kissed the back of my palm, “Those pictures were a bunch of lies doll, you have to believe me Vanity. I had to stay at a hotel for a few days after cause I felt so…so fake and wrong. I just wanted to hide and disappear from the world.”

Nikki wiped my cheek with a finger, “Why didn’t you come back to me right after that? You could’ve came here Nikki.”

I saw tears in his hazel eyes, “I-I was scared. Scared that the weeks I spent here with you and her was too good to be true. That all of this was happening again. It’s us Vanity, when are the cards ever in our favor?”

“We have some pretty shitty cards dealt for us, huh?” I laugh as I wipe his tears from the corner of his eye, “Please stop hurting me.” I begged him as I cupped his jaw, feeling the muscle relax underneath, “I’d wait forever for you, Sixx. I’m stupid for doing it, but I would do it in every universe.”

Nikki frowned, “I know. I know. I won’t, I promise. Please…please don’t take me out of yours and her lives. I want to be apart of it.”

“Nikki, that’s all based on your behavior. Not mine.”

He nodded, “Okay, fine. Where…where can I start? What do you want me to do.” He was acting like an attentive puppy waiting for his next treat.

“Can you get Arianna ready for bed?���

Nikki laughed, “How hard could that even be?”

*Nikki’s POV*

I had chased Arianna round the house for the past hour, even tripping and almost falling over rugs and her toys that were every where. I chased Arianna into her room as she laughed her ass off. No, this wasn’t a fun game of chase.

“Arianna, time for bed. Now!” I grabbed her as she started laughing more. I carried her to her bedroom before pulling down her blankets and putting her in bed.

“You aren’t the boss of me!” She said, kicking the blankets off and attempting to get out of bed. I’d be willing to let her but it was already nine at night.

I lightly pressed on her shoulders, putting her Back down, “Arianna, do you want me to use my mean voice? Bed, now. Or you won’t like it when you don’t get any cookies or TV tomorrow.”

Her big brown eyes turned to saucers, “You’re being a poo poo head!” She shouted, tugging the blanket away from my hand.

“Yeah, and you’re being a brat. Go to sleep.” I realized that was too harsh when her bottom lip quivered.

“You’re being mean!” She pouted as she grabbed her stuffed animal and turned on her side and faced the wall.

“Goodnight angel.” I muttered before turning off her ceiling light and plugging in her night light, “Or demon.” I whispered as I stepped out of her room and closed the door.

I walked into the kitchen, seeing Vanity downing some whiskey. She had just taken her pain pills not even thirty minutes ago, “Maybe you need help. Rehab or something.” I told her softly as she shook her head and put the bottle back in the fridge

“Van, you got into a car accident. We’re lucky this wasn’t another Razzle incident….” I trailed off as she stared at me in disbelief.

“Nik, it was just a fluke accident. Plus, the person in front of me was driving like an idiot. I’m fine.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Fluke accident? Vanity, I ended up dying and coming back. If I had someone tell me then I wouldn’t have gone through all that. And you especially wouldn’t have had to find me in my closet after.”

Vanity rolled her eyes, “Literally everyone did tell you to slow down…”

“And did I listen? No, I was too late and I was lucky to come back from it. Don’t you get it doll?”

She huffed and puffed, “You’re being dramatic. I’m not going to die. I don’t over do it like you. Jason just had a bad batch that was mixed with…” I waited for her to say it, “He gave me blow that was mixed with smack.”

”Oh, speedballs. Next thing you know you’ll be freebasing.” I retorted as she let out a gasp, “I would never do that! Listening to you and reading those journals you had were scary.”

I chuckled, “Scary? Well, seems like you’ll be looking for something more intense soon enough. It’d be a shame to make Arianna go through what you went through with me.”

Vanity shook her head, “I would never go out looking for something stronger and I would never do that to Arianna.” She defended herself as this argument was now becoming amusing to me.

“That’s what I said too. You know, you act as if I was never a drug addict. She’s not gonna be able to tell you to stop, she’s a kid Van. I had to watch my mom do this shit.”

She glared at me, “Because I’m not an addict like you Nikki. I’m not hiding in closets and I never do this stuff around her. Yeah, Jason comes over but we don’t do drugs here.”

I shook my head, “A guy you shouldn’t even be associating with in the first place! He’s bad fucking news, Van.”

“What are you? My fucking dad?” Vanity snapped quickly as we stared at one another.

“Fine, do whatever the hell you want. I’m gonna go find a hotel and I’ll be back in the morning.” I grabbed my jacket off the chair as I walked past her, “Goodnight V.” I spat out hastily as I opened up the front door.

I felt her hand wrap around my wrist as I hung my head down low and exhaled, “What? We’re just pissing each other off. You’re on edge because you were forced to detox at the hospital and not thinking rationally. You really want to argue more, Vanity?”

She shook her head as her hand moved to mine, holding it tightly, “I want you to stay with me, please?”

My eyes met hers, seeing the pain and vulnerability in them, “I’ll relax, okay? I’m fine. I just want you to stay with us. You’ve been gone way to long.”

She pulled me inside, walking backwards as she played with the rings on my fingers, “You relax too. I can tell you’re upset.”

I pulled my hand away from her, “Van, why do you think I’m upset? Clementine called me saying you were in the hospital? Do you even have a clue what I thought was wrong? That maybe Arianna would be without a mother and I wouldn’t have you anymore? Do you know how terrifying that is for me? You’ve been the only constant, besides the band in my life. You’re all I have Vanity…and I already had to experience life without you and I don’t want to do it again.” I sat down on the couch as she sat down next to me, her back resting against the arm as she looked at me.

“I’m fine Nikki.” I shook my head, “No you are not. You aren’t fine and you haven’t been fine for a while. Is this…is this because of me? You doing this to yourself. The drugs? The drinking? Hanging around Jason?”

Vanity played with the ends of her hair, picking off dry blood as she looked at me, “I don’t know…” I rested my hand on her knee, brushing my thumb across her skin, “It’s…it’s not because of you. It’s because of the hurt and the pain you cause. I’m high and I don’t think or feel it. It numbs it..”

I laid my head against the back of the couch, “Have you gone to your therapist lately? If you don’t want to go to rehab then you need to be going to therapy.”

“No, I haven’t.” She mumbled as I groaned.

“Vanity, you need too! I’ll make an appointment for you.” I looked at her, seeing her staring down at her nails until I put my hand under her chin to make her look at me, “I think you need to come back home. You live where there’s a dealer around every corner and back alley. You’ll never get clean here.”

Her eyebrows tightened together, “I’m not leaving New York.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want too!” She quietly shouted, “Arianna was born here, this is all she’s known, Nikki.” She expressed her concerns as I listened.

“I understand that, but don’t you think she’d love to see the ocean? Be near me instead of only flying out when I can? She’s a kid Van, she can adjust. I think it’s only you who doesn’t want to come back home.” Vanity looked away from me, wiping her cheeks as I kissed the top of her knee before resting my chin against it.

“Then I’ll fly her out to see you or something. There’s an ocean here too, ya know? You moved around so many times as a kid and look what it did to you. I don’t want that for her.”

“I’m move here, then.”

Her lips parted, “You can’t move here. Everything for you is in Los Angeles, the band, the music. Not New York Nikki, no. I won’t let you do that.”

“Fuck the band, Vanity! I have enough money to not need the band for a while. I want you and I want our daughter, nothing else. I want you.” I told her as she wiped her tears away again and looked at me, “I want you the only way I know you. I want you to be okay again, to be a good mom and to be my best friend. If you don’t want to be my girl just yet, fine. Arianna can just take your place.”

Vanity broke out into a beautiful smile, “The only girl that’s ever allowed to to take my place.” She rested her hand against my jaw, thumb grazing over my cheek, “I still love you Nikki.”

“I still love you more.”

I let out a sigh, I guess we'll save the coming back home argument for another day.

*A few days later, Vanity’s POV*

“Mommy..” I opened up my eyes, glancing over at the clock and saw that it was seven in the morning, “Daddy’s making breakfast and I don’t want to eat it.”

I chuckled, sitting up carefully and resting my shoulder against the pillow, “And whys that?”

She shrugged, “Cause he’s a poo poo head and he’s being mean to me.”

I stared at her, brushing her messy hair out of her face “Quit calling him that Ari. You know, you’re probably hurting his feelings. He said he was sorry, you’re being stubborn like me.”

“I am not stu-stubborn!” She defended herself as she crossed her arms over her chest and gave me the stink eye.

I grabbed her and put her off to the side as I got out of bed, “Let’s go get ready for school and then you’re eating whatever your dad made.” Arianna crawled out of my bed as she started running to her room, “Am not!!” I followed her and went to her closet to pick out an outfit.

“Get dressed and I’ll do your hair after you eat breakfast.” I repeated myself, “No!!!” I chuckled as her tiny hands pushed me out of her bedroom.

I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen seeing Chef Sixx attempting to flip pancakes, “Ow! Fucking piece of shit!” He shouted as the bacon popped oil onto him as he turned it.

“Need some help?” I asked him as he turned around to look at me, laughing as he did so

“Ha! Yeah right! I’m not letting you anywhere near this until it’s done. I’m not eating burnt bacon or doughy pancakes.” He continued to laugh as he started cracking eggs in a bowl before whisking them.

“I’ve learned to cook.” I mumbled as I sat down on the barstool, Nikki handing me a cup of coffee right after.

“Two sugars and a lot of creamer, right?” He questioned a smile on his face as he held up the spatula. I nodded and took a sip.

“How was the couch?” My lips tugged in a crooked smile as he had an unamused expression on his face.

“It was fine. Would prefer to keep your bed warm. But…it was fine.” Nikki exasperated, “I had Arianna’s fairy blanket to keep me warm since you didn’t give me a blanket or a pillow.”

I looked at Nikki, taking another sip of coffee “You didn’t ask for anything last night. So how am I suppose to know?”

Nikki scoffed as he turned towards the stove and continued cooking, “Keep it up and you won’t get any of this.”

I shook my head, “Not hungry anyways.” I smiled when Arianna came out into the kitchen, glaring at Nikki as she climbed up on the barstool next to me.

“Well too bad, you’re gonna eat. You’re too skinny still.” Nikki stares as he put a plate of mini blueberry pancakes, eggs and bacon in front of Arianna.

“Am not.” I told him as I watched Arianna push the plate away from her, “Are too. Your ass is getting smaller.”

Jeez, thanks asshole. As if I can’t see the weight loss when I look in the mirror.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, “Eat your breakfast Ari so we can finish getting ready.”

She stuck her nose up, turning her head away, “I’m not eating that. It’s gross.”

I sighed, “How would you know that? You haven’t even taken a bite yet. Eat, now.”

“It’s gross cause he made it.” She spoke in a matter of fact type of tone, sticking her tongue out at Nikki, “Can I have cereal? I don’t want it.”

Nikki put a plate in front of me, “Look, I’ll eat mine if you eat yours.” I took a bite of the pancakes, moaning as they were good, “Holy crap.” I started shoveling them into my mouth. We’re they that good? Probably not. But I can’t remember the last time I ate something sufficient.

“Can I have yours?” I looked at Ari as she tried reaching for my bacon until I handed it to her, “Babe, you’re eating the same thing as me.” I chuckled as she took her own little pink fork and took a bite from my pancakes.

“I’m gonna go freshen up.” Nikki muttered as he tried smiling at Arianna who still returned a mean little glare towards him. He frowned before leaving the kitchen.

“You know…you can’t be mad at him forever.” I told Arianna as she started eating off her own plate.

“Yes I can.” She stared at me, “…not nice.” She said, mouth full of sugary syrup and pancakes as I shook my head.

“Daddy’s nice and you know it. You’re not being nice to him, calling daddy mean names and not talking to him. He loves you Ari and he’s sorry for what he did.”

“Fine. No more poo poo head.” She giggled before she continued eating. I kissed her forehead before hopping off the chair. I walked down the hallway, yawing as I headed to my bedroom to straighten up and get dressed for the day.

After the morning routine was over and Arianna was ready for the day, she wanted her hair braided with one of her pink bows at the end of it. I slipped on a pair of shoes and slipped a jacket over my shoulders, wincing at the discomfort of putting my arm back in the sling.

“You could ask for help..” Nikki said, watching me struggle before coming over and helping anyways.

“Thanks.” I muttered, “Ari, you ready to go?” I asked her as she climbed off the couch and grabbed her backpack.

Arianna looked up at me and Nikki, “Will you walk me to my class?” She asked Nikki as he smiled at her before patting the top of her head, “Of course I will.”

When we arrived at her school a little while later, Arianna gave me a big kiss goodbye handing her a pink lunchbox right after, “I’ll pick you up later, okay?” I told her as she nodded and grabbed Nikki’s hand, tugging him towards the doors. I got back in the car, sitting down as I listened to the radio.

I glanced over seeing Nikki’s wallet was dropped on the floorboard. I reached down and grabbed it. I looked towards the doors and chuckled to myself. His wallet was stuffed full of cash. He’s such a hypocrite sometimes. He use to give me crap for always carrying around a lot of loose bills. I looked through his credit cards, he’s gotten two new ones that were a nice shiny black. I smiled at his goofy identification card, seeing him try to force a half assed smile. Nikki also had a guitar pick tucked inside the folds. A piece of paper was sticking out, but I realized it wasn’t a paper it was a picture. A picture of me and Arianna that Nikki had took when we spent the day at the boardwalk.

Through the tinted windows, I saw him coming back outside as I quickly stuffed the picture back in and tossed his wallet onto the seat, “Oh there it is. Thought I forgot it at your place.” Nikki grinned as he put his wallet in his back pocket.

“We have some where to be.” Nikki explained as he started driving away from the school.

I briefly glanced over, “Oh yeah? Where are we going?”

Nikki smiled at me, “You, Vanity Blackwood, have an appointment with your therapist.”

The smile fell from my face, turning into a scowl as I contemplated opening the door and jumping out, “You’re joking, right? Nikki c’mon.” I whined as I slumped back into the chair.

“Told you I was making you an appointment sweets. Did you think I was lying? You’re going and I’m gonna sit in there with you.”

*a little while later*

We sat side by side, knees resting against each other as we waited for my therapist to come in. I had my elbow perched up on the arm of the leather couch as I rested my cheek against my fist, watching the clock tick by slowly.

Nikki’s arm was wrapped around the back of the couch, his hand lightly rubbing my shoulder, “What time does Ari get out of school?”

With a monotone voice, “Three.”

I could heard the deep breath of annoyance as he took his arm and hand away from me and places his hands on his knees as he leaned over and grabbed some candy.

My ears perked up when I heard the door open, “Oh! I didn’t know we’d be having guests today. I’m Dr. Lilian Watson. Vanity, it is so nice to see you.”

“Yep, I’m here.” My voice oozed sarcastic cheer as I rolled my eyes, “This is Nikki.” I motioned to him as they shook each other’s hands.

“Oh…the Nikki. Vanity, I see there’s been some progress. What brings you in? It’s been a while since I’ve talked to you.”

I rolled my eyes at both the therapist and at Nikki, “He’s forcing me to be here

“She needed to come and see you.” Nikki butted in as I shook my head, growing more and more irritated.

Dr Watson adjusted in her chair, pushing her glasses up her nose, “Well Nikki, can you tell me why you think she needs to be here?”

Nikki chuckled, “She dislocated her shoulder last week due to driving under the influence of booze and narcotics. Busted her head open and had a bloody nose as well which is why I’m in New York to help her out but she’s not being appreciative of it.”

“Yeah, I see the sling.” She wrote some things down as I side eyed Nikki, “So, were still using?”

I reached for the bowl of candy on the table, “Not since the accident.” I shrugged and stuffed some m&ms into my mouth, “Incase you can’t tell, I’m being watched like a hawk. But I did stop for a while before then and then continued once I started hanging out with Jason again.”

“Who you shouldn’t even be hanging out with after last time.” Nikki butted in as I glared at him.

“I’m sorry? Are you my fucking husband?” I snapped, watching his eyebrows raise in surprise before turning away from me with a light shake of the head in disbelief.

“What happened last time?”

I groaned, “This was a bad idea.” I mumbled, eyes rolling as I sighed, “Jason got physical with me at the bar and Nikki beat him up for it. But Nikki doesn’t have room to talk when he was off getting high with the wife he was suppose to be divorcing when he should have been with his daughter.”

“I’ve gone to meetings in my free time, Vanity. Unlike you who just sits on this guys dick and gets fucking high!” Nikki fought back as he glared at me.

“I don’t do that!” I yelled at Nikki, feeling myself get worked up and by the smirk on his face, he knew it too.

“Okay, okay. Let’s just relax?” Dr Watson took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I don’t specialize in couples therapy, so Nikki in your opinion, can you tell me where the issues root from?”

Before Nikki could respond, “We’re not a couple actually so you don’t need to use that phrase.” I pointed out, my tone was extremely bitchy as Nikki let out a hushed Wow.

“Oh yeah? So I’ve just been hanging out here and taking care of you and making sure you’re good for no reason?” Nikki looked at me, “Seriously, not a couple?!?”

“Well we aren’t!!!” I fought back, “How could you even think we’re together?! Because we almost fucked that night?! You aren’t my boyfriend and you for sure aren’t my damn husband!”

In a raucous tone, “You and your fucking ten million reasons why! I had to go back! How many times do I have to explain myself?! I didn’t want to go back!”

“Uh maybe you could of told her to fuck off like the countless times you’ve told me to fuck off!” I continued to argue, my voice becoming hoarse from all the yelling, “Cause it’s all about me and Arianna.” I mocked his voice before rolling my eyes

“Because it is!”

I scoffed, “What? For a few more weeks until you find some new ditzy playboy?!”

Dr Watson cleared her throat as I sunk back into the leather couch, “Okay, let’s take a few breaths to get rid of some of this anger.”

Nikki reached for a handful of candy, stuffing his cheeks until they turned pink, “I’m not angry.” He mumbled as I scooted away from him.

“How is Arianna?” The therapist exhaled deeply as she looked at us with a forced smile.

“She’s fine, trying to get used to someone-“ I glanced over at Nikki “being around again. She’s in kindergarten now and is doing wonderful.”

Nikki piped up, “She’s a great kid, takes after her mother so wonderfully well.” He shook his head as he glared at me. I attempted to speak but he continued, “Coke angry Vanity and all of her fuckin tantrums don’t need to show up when Arianna is around. I grew up with a mother who used so I know what it’s like.”

“Yeah Vanitys mentioned a thing or two about you and your own addictions.”

“I am still trying to over come them everyday. I go to meetings, talk to my sponsor. I actually try.”

“And here comes the sob story.”

If Nikki wasn’t angry before I said that, then he sure as hell was now, “Sob story?! Are you fucking kidding me!?” Nikki grabbed the pillow I was holding onto and flung it across the room, “Me almost killing myself is a god damn sob story to you?! Fuck you, Vanity! You should know better than that! Christ sake, you’re apart of that sob story!”

“Nikki, I didn’t-“

“Didn’t mean it?! You never mean anything because you never fuckin do anything wrong, right?! Little miss princess Vanity with all her millions and millions of oil money can do no harm because everything about you is so god damn perfect, right?!” Nikki shouted, making me flinch at his loudness.

“What have I ever done to you? Except fuck Tommy more than once? Fucked Slash? What have I ever done to hurt you?” I questioned him as he stared at me.

“More than once?!”

“You had intercourse with Slash?” Dr Watson seemed genuinely surprised.

Through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw, “You fucked Tommy? Again?! When! You said it was only one time!”

“I-I didnt… I didn’t…”

He arched an eyebrow, “Now you’re gonna lie about it?! Did you fuck him again or not? Tell me right now Vanity.”

“Vanity, it’s alright. Just be honest about it with Nikki. It’s always a smart thing to share your past sexual partners with your current one.”

“I’m not fucking him!” I pointed at Nikki, “I don’t want to touch him and I don’t want him touching me! He probably got some fucking disease from his little wife.”

Nikki was more outraged at the fact I would call him dirty then anything else I’ve been saying, “I am clean, Vanity! Unlike you since you like to hop from dick to fucking dick!”

I smacked his arm, “Don’t talk to me like that!”

“Hit me again Vanity. I promise you won’t like what I do.” Nikki threatened as I almost took him up on it.

“Okay! Okay, stop it!” Lillian raised her voice a tad before clearing her throat, “Vanity, just be honest with Nikki. Nobody is hitting anyone."

“I slept with Tommy when he first came to New York, when he found me. I was emotional and he was there for me. You should be happy he was there for me Nikki!”

He laughed, “Happy?! Happy that my best friend stuck his cock in you?! Why should I be happy that you opened your fucking legs for him again?!”

“So clearly the issues run deep..” The doctor mumbled as I stared at Nikki with tears in my eyes, “I am sorry!”

“Sorry for what exactly?! Sleeping with my best friend? Running from me because of what I did? Sticking a needle into your god damn arm? Or keeping Arianna from me out of spite?!”

“Out of spite? None of this is out of spite, Sixx! None of it!” I cried to him as he shook his head, running a ringed hand over this face.

“Really?! So five years you just couldn’t call or write or fuckin mention we have a kid! Had to find out from coming back here and bumping into you out of luck!”

I looked away from him and at the therapist, “It wouldn’t be hard if he stopped fucking up! Do you know how many times I’ve had to deal with his shit! To pick up the pieces of what he’s done!! Maybe instead of shoving shit up your nose and crying over me like Tommy said you were, you should’ve tried a bit harder!”

Nikki was at his wits end with me, “Tried?! I fucking called your mother every god damn day! I wrote a fucking letter to you only for it to be sent back to the house! Don’t tell me I didn’t try! I would’ve gotten on my god damn knees for you! You were the one that didn’t try! You say I tossed you to the side, no! You fucking tossed me to the side! You left me! You fucking left without a trace! Left everything behind! Everything we had together like I was fucking nothing to you!” I watched him as I saw tears falling down his reddened cheek as he continued yelling his frustrations at me.

“You left me, Vanity. I wanted to fix it. You said it would have been better for us if I had just fucking died when I overdosed. Do you have any clue how that made me felt? How that simple sentence ripped my heart to shreds. I would’ve been satisfied with just your siblings or your mom telling me I was going to be a father. You knew how bad I wanted to be a dad, to have a family with you, to watch you carry my child. You chose to be selfish, Vanity.”

Our eyes stayed locked on one another as we sat in a silence that was choking me, “I’m not selfish.”

“Bullshit Vanity.” Nikki croaked as his tongue stuck out to lick away salty tears at the corner of his lips, “It’s always about you and what you want. You wanted to keep her away from me, you said you could keep going as a single parent not that long ago but I’m sure you would just keep paying Clementine to babysit her.”

“I never wanted to keep her from you!” My soft expression quickly turned into a scowl, “Do not bring Clem into this! She’s done nothing but help me!”

“Clementine practically takes care of her half the time while you’re off doing god knows what, Van! Don’t you see that?! I’d love to see how to it would’ve went if you didn’t find anyone.”

My eyes narrowed at him, “I’d be able to do it by myself! I don’t need you or anyone.”

My eyes stayed glued to his before I looked away when Dr Watson had put her notebook down, “I think we might be done with this session…”

“Yeah. That’s enough.” Nikki muttered as he fixed his shirt and grabbed his jacket from the table.

“Like I said, I’m not a couples therapist. But I think there’s a lot that needs to be uh, mended.”

He laughed, “No shit.” I quickly swatted his side, “Don’t be a dick. Thank you Dr Watson."

“Yeah, Thanks Watson.” Nikki spoke gruffly as we both started walking to the door, the therapist closing it right after us.

Nikki quickly grabbed my hand as he pulled me down the hallway. I saw his head shaking as he mumbled my name and profanities under his breath, “Ow, Sixx.” I winced as his rings were pinching my skin, “You’re hurting my hand.” I attempted to pull away from his grasp, he looked at me before opening up a door and shoving me inside, “What the fuck is your issue?!” I yelled as he flipped on the switch and slammed the door shut, blocking me from leaving even if I wanted too.

Nikki stepped closer to me, “You have a lot of fucking nerve acting like that in there.” I took a step back and bumped into the trash can Before I grabbed the counter of the bathroom to balance myself, “Just sitting there talking shit about Nikki and all the bad things he’s done to you.”

“I wasn’t talking shit!” I argued back, “And you started it! I was ready to have a nice peaceful session but no, you had to go and open your fucking-“ I instantly stopped talking when he closed the distance between us, roughly grasping my chin in the palm of his hand.

“There you go again! Blaming everything on me! Maybe if you weren’t such a fucking bitch I wouldn’t have to be an asshole to you! You ever think of that one, princess!?” Nikki forcefully pressed his lips to mine causing me to wince against the friction. Teeth scraping against my skin as I soon tasted a drop of blood on our lips, with a breath being deprived from my lungs as Nikki wrapped his hand around my throat, lightly squeezing as he did so.

I tried reaching for a fistful of his hair, on instinct alone his free hand captured mine in his as he held it behind my back. My nails scratched and pinched at his hand only for him to tighten his grip around my neck. A shaky, girly moan escaped through my lips as he took a step back, hand still wrapped around my throat as he broke out in an arrogant grin. His thumb traced over my bottom lip, wiping away the blood before he took it away and sucked it off himself.

I wrapped my fingers into his hair, roughly yanking his head down to continue the heated kiss. My tongue ran over his lip, before gently tugging on it with pearly whites. Nikki groaned as he placed his hands on my hips before his fingers found the button and zipper of my jeans. I pulled away from him, shoving his hands from me as I attempted to push my pants down. I let out a yelp before slapping my hand over my mouth when Nikki roughly grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to him, holding brunette strands by the root as he tilted my head back and pressed soft simple pecks to the front of my neck, “Let’s see if you remember who the fuck you belong too.”

The deep baritone of his voice sent chills down my spine as well as heat straight to my core. I tried to kiss him again but he refused to let me. His hand found my throat again, needy whimpers escaping. I followed his lips, mere inches from one another as his nose brushed against mine, “Nikki…” a pleading moan came from me as he chuckled darkly in return. His sage colored eyes were making my skin crawl in the best kinda way, knowing he was planning, thinking some of the most dirtiest things. I let my hands wander, landing on a silver buckle as I undid it and let it hang loosely on his hips.

Nikki backed me up until I hit the sink counter. He towered over me. one hand at the base of my neck, forcing me to keep eyes on him. I felt cold rings running down my body as he pulled the thin blue fabric down from between my legs.. An attempt to squeeze my thighs together due to the coolness failed when Nikki brought an open palm down on my ass. I closed my eyes before looking back up at him.

“Look at those pretty eyes just begging for me. Thought you didn’t need me, Princess?” I frowned at his words only for him to let out a laugh. His middle finger traced over my lip as I welcomed it, letting my tongue roll over the rough pad before sucking on the tip. Nikki added another finger to the mix, middle and ring now as I gave it the same treatment, “Dirty fucking girl.” He smirked in my face as he took his fingers from my mouth and placed them between my legs. My head tried dropping to watch what he was doing only for him to yank me by my hair, “Eyes on me. Only me.”

My lips parted when his fingers skillfully invaded my body, knuckle fucking deep. It was abrupt and sudden when his fingers began moving at a fast pace inside of me, fingers curling at just the right spot. The vulgarity of the sound of his palm slapping against my body bounced off the tranquil and zen picture frames that hanged on the wall.

“O-oh my god.” My voice was reduced to a whimper as he finally let his lips meet mine. I rested my hand on his shoulder, fingers gripping the hem of his shirt as I broke the kiss, “Nikki!! Fu-fuck!” I cried out for him, feeling him push another finger inside of me as he poked and prodded at the bundle of nerves inside of me. My eyes screwed shut, feeling them roll into the back of my head behind closed lids as I felt myself fall off the edge of pleasure.

“That’s it baby. Come apart for me, let me get a fucking taste.” Nikki relentlessly abused my insides until his hand was drenched with sticky wetness. I attempted to regain composure, pushing hair out of my face as I watched him suck and lick his fingers clean. Tattooed fingers engulfed themselves around chocolate strands of hair as he pulled my face towards his, warm and soft lips finding mine.

“Still taste so god damn sweet baby girl.” Nikki moaned as he grabbed me by my hips, roughly pulling me away from him before bending me over the counter, hair tangled in a fist as my cheek laid against the cool tile.

I closed my eyes, attempting to catch my breath as I listened to the sound of a zipper being pulled down followed by a sickening slap against my skin. I chewed on my bottom lip as I brought my head up, “Watch me.” Nikki growled as he yanked my head up a bit more. His free hand was wrapped around the base of his cock, giving long and slow strokes to himself.

My lips parted with a silent moan that never tumbled out as I felt Nikki press the tip to my entrance before pushing in. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I felt him fill me, completely. I noticed his bangs covering his eyes, but I could tell he was looking down at the intrusion of my body.

“O-oh fuck, Van.” Nikki moaned, sliding his cock out slowly slowly before sliding back into me “Fuck me.” He groaned, taking his hand away from my hair and digging his fingers into my hip His pace started increasing as his hips smacked against my bottom, fucking me harder and deeper.

Tattooed fingers found themselves curled over my shoulder, nails roughly scraping at my skin. My hips naturally started rocking into each of his thrusts, feeling my insides clench around his throbbing length. I closed my eyes, moans of his names falling off my tongue. An arm of his snaked around my body with a hand dipping underneath my shirt as he grabbed my tits, finger tips pinching and twisting my nipples.

“You feel so good, Nikki.” I breathed out, feeling his hand twist into my hair again. My neck crained back, his lips press against my forehead as he thrusted into me hilt deep. He moved my hair to the side, pressing rough and wet opened mouth kisses to my shoulder before nipping at the soft and delicate skin.

“You still take my cock so well, Princess. So fucking tight and wet for me. So…fuckin perfect.” Nikki breathed into my ear, nibbling gently as he did so. I turned my head just a bit, letting my lips find his before he broke the kiss and pulled out of me.

Nikki dragged me into a stall, making the door bang against the hinges as he sat down and pulled me over his hips.

“This isn’t sanitary.” I mumbled, “Ow!” A rude and sharp slap against my ass cheek ended all complaints I had.

“…don’t give a fucking shit.” Nikki stated in a husky tone as he gripped my hips, fingers digging into the skin roughly. I wrapped my hand around his throbbing member as I hovered over him, slowly sliding down onto it before I gripped his shoulder.

Pornographic moans fell from both of our lips as he buried himself inside of me. I started grinding my hips into his, feeling Nikki accommodate himself in the most delicious way. Nikki Sixx being the only man to ever do so.

Nikki cupped my jaw, pulling my face towards his as our lips touched in a slow and deliberate kiss. His tongue found mine as I tasted the fruity gum he was chewing on. His hips started thrusting up into me at a slow pace, “You feel that baby?” Nikki broke the kiss, his bright green eyes borrowing holes into mine. I nodded my head in a sheepish manner, “That’s all yours.”

I wrapped my free arm around his shoulder, leaning into his chest as I focused on his movements inside of me. He reached between our bodies, fingers dancing around my clit at a rapid pace. I closed my eyes, feeling myself clench around him. I knew he was close too by the way he twitched inside of me.

“Go on baby, cum all over this fuckin cock. Let me have it.” Nikki’s voice was strained as he tried holding off to let me hit my peak first.

“Nik-“ I moaned loudly, only for Nikki to put his hand over my mouth when the bathroom door opened up. My eyes rolled as he continued to thrust into me at a slower pace, smirking at me when I felt myself cum as I moaned into his hand.

“Shit..” Nikki whispered as he pulled out of me, taking his cock into his hand and giving himself a few rough pumps before he hit his end. I sat in his lap still, watching him jack himself off for a few more minutes until he relaxed onto the toilet he was perched up on.

We both heard the water start running as whoever came into the bathroom was singing to themselves, “Look.” Nikki whispered as he wrote ‘V&N’ on the stall with his own cum. I covered my mouth to keep my laughter in as I shoved his shoulder playfully.

“So romantic.” I mouthed before getting off his lap and pulling up my jeans and panties. I stepped out of the stall, the other woman smiling at me through the mirror as I washed my hands and fixed my unruly hair, wincing when my fingers brushed past my scalp. The women was taking her sweet time as she started checking her make up and fixing her own hair so I decided to leave the bathroom and waited out in the hallway.

My eyes went wide when I heard yelling coming from the bathroom, “Sorry!” Nikki yelled back as he stepped out of the bathroom, glaring at me, “I thought she left! Not you!” He shook his head at me as he reached for my hand.

“So, you wanna grab some food?” He questioned as he held the office door open for me and we stepped outside.

I wrapped my hand around his bicep as we walked to my car, "Yeah, I would like that." I smiled up at him, Nikki lowering his head down to give me a quick peck on the lips.

Nikki helped me into the car, closing it as I was situated. He started driving to wherever he decided to take us. He rested his hand on my thigh as I intertwined our fingers together.

I hope this meant good things were coming for us.

[sweets-fanfics]

Homecoming 23

Title: Oh, give me a break

Wordcount: 2725

Chapter summary: Reader needs a fuckin break

Tags: @rollyjogerjones @bubbles2465

AN: Im sorry its late *bows*

_____________

Arthur had woken me up early a few days later to say he, Bea and Jack were going to go a bit down the river and fish. I had barely nodded and said yes before falling asleep again. Arthur had smirked and kissed my forehead before the three headed out for the day.

When I woke up later in the morning I put my arms up over my head and stretched. I glanced at the entrance feeling someone was standing there. And sure enough. My day was ruined.

“What Micah?” He was leaning on the wagon our tent is connected to and had a smile on his dirty face.

“I just thought I’d come to see how you slept, Princess.” The sincere-ness in his voice made me want to gag.

“It was good till I saw your face just now.”

“So… how are you and Morgan?” I eyed him as I slipped my shoes on over my jeans. 

“We are happily married, Mr. Bell.” I retort in a deadpan tone. “Why?”

“Well, I’ve been speakin’ to your brother and father…”

“Oh god..” I mumble over him.

“We think the Morgan may not be the man for you.”

“And since when do I care about your opinion?” I lean in to look in Arthur's mirror to comb and braid my hair. 

“Well… because you and cowpoke didn’t legally get married.”

“Micah. I have stuff I have to do today so spit it out.”

“Calm down woman, I’m gettin’ to it.” 

I roll my eyes and push past him towards the coffee. To my dismay, he follows.

“Your brother and father and I think it’ll be best you be with someone else.” I throw my head back and let out a loud laugh. 

“Since when do I give a damn about any of y'alls opinion of my love life. You aren’t even my family so I, even more, give no shits about you.” I took a sip of my coffee letting it wake me up.

“Well, your father and brother think you should be with someone like me.” I choked on my coffee and spit at him getting his face and shirt. “What the hell is your problem?”

“Why would anyone curse a poor woman to be with you? God ain’t that cruel.” I finished my cup and started back for my tent.

Micah grabbed my arm and yanked me back. “I already got your daddy’s permission.” He smirked.

Before my mind could even register I socked him in the nose making him fall back into the dirt. “Keep your nasty hands off me.” I turned towards Dutch’s tent where he was hiding. “How about you go to hell with trying to marry me off to this fucking asshole.”

“Daughter…” He started but I cut him off.

“No. I’m married. Not only am I married, but we also have a daughter. I’m not going to ever give Micah the time of day.” I turn towards him still on the floor. “Come near me, Arthur or my daughter again I’ll kill you.” As I turned on my heels back to the tent I saw Arthur with his jaw dropped and Bea in his arms. “Come on, Arthur. Let’s go.”

“Where are you goin’ wifey?” Micah asks getting up. “To look at those properties that rich ass is going to give you?” 

I stop for a moment before pulling out my pistol and aiming it an inch from his head. “You fucking piece of shit.”

“What properties?” Dutch asks walking up. Henry is behind him too. 

Arthur walks up with Bea still in one arm and has his pistol ready just in case. “It’s nothin’ Dutch,” Arthur says.

“You used to trust me, Arthur. You used to be my brother!” Dutch steps forward and I can see Henry has a gun out. Everyone else in camp is frozen not knowing whether to get involved or not. “You have become such a different person.”

“I think it’s best you let us go cool our heads. I don’t want to break a family apart but I insist. It’s the best thing at the moment.”

“You Insist?” Dutch says in disbelief. I feel like at that moment he may shoot Arthur right away, but thankfully, he doesn’t. Instead, he turns towards me. “I don’t want you to leave. I’ve only had you and your brother in my life for a small amount of time. I’m just doing what I think is best.”

“What you think is best? Or what this rat says is best.” I push the barrel closer. Micah just smirks at me, never moving his eyes away. 

“I know you and Arthur just want Bea to have a safe life. Arthur probably wants to protect her more since he already lost a child.”

I stumble a bit and glance at Arthur. “What’s he talkin’ about?” 

Arthur isn’t able to look me in the eye. “I… It’s nothing...” 

“Daughter… let’s not hurt Micah. Especially if you want to keep me happy.”

“Not entirely, right now,” I mumble.

“And let’s forget about those properties. Your place is with us.” I let out a groan and put my gun away before grabbing Bea from Arthur and heading towards Suzie. “Where are you going?”

“Away from this damn camp.” 

Bea looks at me confused as I put her on Suzie and climb up. Arthur hurries up and looks at me. “Y/N, hold on. Let me grab Athena and we can go somewhere” 

“Not right now, Arthur. You usually tell people you have a family with that you are already a father.” 

“Y/N, wait.” I roll my eyes and turn Suzie away. 

“I’m going to go check on Charlotte. Maybe you can come to find us when you decide you wanna tell me everything.” 

____________

It was late afternoon when I rode up to Charlotte’s property. I could hear pops of a gun and when Bea and I stopped I saw Charlotte trying to aim a repeater at some bottles. She fired but nothing shattered. There was a soft breeze that was carrying over mist from the giant waterfall nearby. Every time she tried to fire the gun birds would scare and fly away from the trees that surrounded the small farm.

I hopped off with Bea and walked up to her. “Miss Charlotte?” I say to make myself known so she doesn’t get scared. 

She glances over her shoulder and smiles. “Y/N, how lovely. I was hoping you’d visit.”

“What are you up to?” I glance at the bottles all lined up and smile.

“I’m feeling much better after your help so I decided to try my husband’s gun. However, my prey seems very unscathed.” She sighs and puts the butt of the gun in the dirty with the barrel facing up.

I take the gun and flip it around making her smile. “I could show you if you need help.” 

“Oh, that would be lovely.”

I put Bea down and she wanders to look at flowers nearby. “Well first,” I put her arms up and straighten them out to the correct position to fire her repeater. She looks at herself as I put the repeater in her hands and point at the bottles. “Alright stay just like that. You are going to take a deep breath and fire on the release. Always shoot on empty lungs.” 

She adjusts herself a bit and then takes a deep breath before firing and hitting the wooden crate the bottles were on making them shake a bit. “Wow. That’s the closest it’s been all day.”

“Good. Now try again.” I step back a bit and give her some space as she follows my instructions and fires making a bottle shatter. We both jump in delight as we look at the glass. 

“I did it!” Charlotte cheers.

“Great job.”

“How about you try, Mrs. Morgan? I bet you are a great shot.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Arthur is probably better at it than me.” 

She simply smiles and hands me the gun. “Go on, my pride won’t be hurt if you are a better shot than my weak work.”

I huff a laugh and take the repeater in my hands. I look at the bottles that are left and I finally take a deep breath and fire twice making two bottles shatter. Charlotte jumps up and smiles. As I turn and look at her I see Bea is also cheering and dancing. “Oh my! I’m never able to reload the gun that fast.”

“Practice I guess.”

“You know what? I still have some of that rabbit. How about you both come in and have some.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose…”

Bea pulls on my pants leg and gives a soft, “I’m hungry.”

Charlotte giggles, “I guess that settles it then.” I pick up Bea and follow Charlotte inside the cabin. She motions for us to sit at her table before turning to grab some bowls.

“If I may ask, how did your husband pass?”

She stops for a moment and sighs, “He was attacked by a bear, he survived and then passed from his injuries a few days later.” There’s an awkward silence as she places bowls in front of me and Bea. She puts a tiny bit of stew in Bea’s bowl and a bigger serving in mine. 

“I’m so sorry.”

“He was extremely optimistic. So am I, I guess. I thought I’d be a little wife in the garden and writing the next great novel.” She smiles to herself as if thinking of a fond memory.

“That sounds like a nice life. But I’m not sure this area is the place for that.” I take a small sip of the stew.

“I see that now. My husband and I were raised with a silver spoon in Chicago.”

“Are you going to go back?”

“No, like my husband I’m very hardheaded when it comes to giving up. I believe I’ll get through this. Especially now with your help.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re willing to give it a fair shot.” There was a soft knock on the door. Charlotte looks at the door confused and I sigh. “He was faster than I thought,” I mumble.

Charlotte gets up and opens the door slowly. “Oh. Mr. Morgan come in.” She opens the door wider and he walks in while taking off his hat. His eyes look a little red and puffy but he tries to hide at as his eyes land on both me and Bea. 

“Daddy!” Bea jumps from her chair and runs to Arthur with her arms wide.

“Hi, little Bea. Let me talk to your Mama and then we’ll play, okay?” 

Charlotte takes Bea’s hand and leads her to the table. “How about we finish our food while the talk, yes?” Bea smiles and follows her willingly while I step out on to the porch. 

Arthur follows and shuts the door behind him. He takes my hand and we sit on the bench that sits on the porch. There is a long silence before he clears his throat. “After Mary left me I met a waitress named Eliza. I don’t believe we ever had any feelings between us, it was more of a one night stand. She was a young girl I never thought it would mean nothin’. But I found out later she was pregnant. His name was Issac. I tried to step up and be a father. I would visit every month and stay for a few days. Leave them some money... Then one day I arrived and there were two crosses outside the house… And I knew they were gone.” Arthur gets quiet. I squeeze his hand.

“Arthur, I…” I can feel tears starting to build up.

“Don’t say you’re sorry. I should have told you.” His arms wrap around me as he pulls me into a hug. I hug him back and kiss his shoulder. “I don’t want to lose you two like I lost them.”

“You won’t lose us, Arthur…”

The door cracks open and Bea’s little face peeks out, “My food is done.” She mumbles.

“Good girl,” I smile as she runs and sits between me and Arthur.

“Is your talk done?” She asks him.

“Yeah, I just had to say sorry to Mama, I was bad earlier.” She looks at him a bit shocked. “I love you, Y/N.”

I smile and lean over to give him a quick kiss, “I love you too.”

_______________

I refused to go to the camp when Arthur asked. I didn’t want Bea around my father or Micah. Arthur sighed and looked out over the lake we were sitting at. Bea was passed out in Arthur’s lap snoring softly. Her soft dark hair felt like silk as I combed her hair from her face.

“Well, where you gonna go?”

“Maybe Luka’s home… I don’t feel safe around my father and I really don’t think you should go back either.”

Arthur scratches the scar on his chin and sighs, “I have to do that damn job with Micah and Bill.”

“Do you what Dutch is planning?” 

“No… and I’m really worried about it.” We look at each other quietly. “If the time comes you take Bea and run.”

“What about you?” I could see the sadness in his eyes.

“I’ll join you when I can safely get away.”

“Arthur no, if we run we are doing it together. I won’t leave you.” 

He leans in and kisses me softly before pulling back and smiling. “I love you so damn much. But if it comes down to me or you…. It’s always going to be you.”

“Arthur…”

“Don’t Arthur me… Do you understand me? This thing,” He points in the direction camp would be, “it’s all over. We gotta think about how to give Bea her best chance at life, even if that means she’s going to have only one parent.” 

He reaches forward and wipes a tear I didn’t know I had. “Well… let’s just try to get away together, okay?” He smiles and nods before standing and shifting Bea so she was laying on his shoulder. 

I take her and give her a soft squeeze before turning towards Suzie. “Promise you’ll be safe on that job?” I ask once more.

“I will,” He waves towards me as he climbs Athena. “So you’ll be in Saint Denise?” I nod as I get comfortable on Suzie. “Be safe please.”

“I will.” 

___________

I spent four days at Luka’s home. And in those four days, I didn’t hear from Arthur once. I started to get extremely worried until I heard steps on the front porch making me run and swing the door open. 

Arthur smiled as his shoulder relaxed and he pulled me into a tight hug and a long kiss. I instantly melted from his warmth. His rough lips smiled under mine. I wanted to take in his familiar scent but all I could smell was… Smoke? 

I pull back and scrunch my nose. “Why do you smell like smoke?”

Arthur looks away guilty and scratches his chin, “Well…”

“Arthur Morgan what did you do?”

“Well, quite a bit happened over the past few days. I did that job with Micah, I helped Rainsfall again actually twice… and,”

“And?” 

“John and I blew up a bridge…”

“You what?”

“Dutch wants to rob a train.”

“Y’all are too old to be trying to pull that kind of shit Arthur!” He chuckles a bit as he tries to calm me down.

“When are you gonna rob this supposed train?”

“In a few days. Dutch is trying to help the Wapiti tribe.” 

“Why?”

“He says he feels for them, but I think he’s just gonna get those boys killed.”

I sigh, “Where is he?”

“He went to help them mess with some soldiers.”

I groan and turn in to the house. “Luka.” 

Luka peeks out from his study. “Can you watch Bea? I have to get my father out of trouble.”

“Of course.” Before he even finishes I shut the door and hurry for Suzie with Arthur close behind.

“Y/N, these are US Army, I don’t think you should be getting involved.”

“I shouldn’t. But lets at least try to lengthen my father’s inevitable doom.”

Arthur smiles and joins me as we ride off.

[strawberryybird]

Me sees the character songs post, immediately wants to know what character songs you have for the characters and why.

ok so. welcome to the rabbit hole that is my music taste and what is my no.1 most frequently done activity.. plastering emotions i have for fictional characters all over my music taste. I restricted myself to ¾ songs for each character & then to Edie, Hubert, Dorothea, Lysithea & Byleth because otherwise we’d be here all day (and those are the Primary Daydream Candidates rn)

under a rm because as im sure we’ve all seen.. i just don’t fucking stop.. also i got weirdly deep about some of these topics. i don’t know how to tag it. tread careful?

Here are some songs.. welcome to my (notoriously bad) music taste. alsoi go in Very heavy handed about it all. i make only a few apologies:

Edelgard:Everybody wants to rule the word - tears for fears. (ucan go with Lorde’s cover but i prefer the original bc im like that.) i meanit’s pretty heavy handed but it’s such an Edelgard song it !!!! fuels my ficwriting. if it’s not so very Edelgard’s relationship with twsitd then idk whatto tell you. plus it’s an iconic song

Medicine - daughter. (daughter is My Favourite Band. Ever. I cannot articulate how much ilove their (and ex:re’s) music!!) anway. this is a hegegard song & i don’ttake constructive criticism. I’ll reiterate this better in other descriptions,but please don’t take my inclusion of a song about such a topic as adevaluation of it in any way, that’s not my intention. The reason I go so feralfor Hegegard is because im no stranger to watching someone you care about hurt themselvesin a way you can’t stop, and that’s what the AM ending evokes in me. Hence: asong I love that one can read the same story in. And then the lyrics ‘You couldstill be / What you want to / What you said you were / When I met you” just !! parallelsEdge of Dawn’s lyrics about regret & overall I’m very feral about this.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - blue oystercult. this is PRIME Edelgard telling freshly-awokenbyleth she’s been waging war for 5 years. also !!!! “Seasonsdon’t fear the reaper / Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be likethey are” >>> “The Edge of Dawn (Seasons ofWarfare) (フレスベルグの少女～風花雪月～,lit. Girl of Hresvelg ~Wind, Flower, Snow, Moon~)” .. the link is tenuous but coincidence?? is it, fuck.

Seneca - Novo Amor. this is another one of those songs that could mean something different to everyone. very easy to project onto, is novo amor. I like the story of being prepared to run and break ties at any given moment, but ending up - emotionally or physically - in the same place one always was. apart from the glaring tie of how Edelgard returned to garreg mach, this song is a lot of me trying to repatriate Edelgard’s lack of emotional arc in the game by saying . well. this song. 

You can call me Al -  paul simon. am i projecting edeleth thoughts onto my favourite song? it’s morelikely than you think!!! but also i like the chorus and all the exasperating ‘call me el’jokes i can make.. i may be half writing a fic based on this song.

Dorothea:Agnes - glass animals. so i have significant emotions about edelthea at the best of times !! and this song !!! really bloody hits it home !! yes I knowit’s got a really heavy and real subject matter and I’m not trying to devalueit or minimise it.. but the story - about watching someone close to you hurtthemselves/get hurt, and doing so in ways you can’t stop them from - is adamn real one. And a Lot of why I love Dorothea’s character in the gamebecause she’s the one who can’t stop her friends from getting hurt – through exposureto warfare .. or  stopping Edelgard becomingthe monster at the end of the story. Even though she’s one of the healers onthe beagle’s team. And I feel that.

Ex’s and Oh’s – Elle King. So you know that one spn fanvid featuringthis song about all of dean winchester’s relationships? That, but for my flirting Queen Dorothea Arnault. (and I have the dumbest most fun little headcanon thatonce Dorothea and Sylvain derailed a lgbt+ society meeting whilst Edie wastrying to go over the budget by blasting this song and dancing on the table.The idea makes me laugh)

Hold My Girl – George Ezra. The whole thing about wanting just that onemoment to cherish the people you love for one moment more before you have goout face the world? If that’s not the timeskip’d Dorothea Arnault Aesthetic, Idon’t know what is.

(Call Me Out – sea girls. On a much lighter note, this song is fueling the later half of mydrafts of road trip au. And it’s literally because of that one verse. im gayshut up.)

Hubert:Red Right Hand – nick cave and the bad seeds. Is it on the nose? Is itheavy handed? Oh u fuckin bet but that won’t stop me!!! A) it’s a good song. ItIs. B) I like narrative songs. C) Any ‘red right hand’ symbolism in Anycharacter has me love them immediately and also plonk this song in the middleof any playlist about them. sure, the artic monkeys version might be a bit more on hubert’s brand.. but my mileage varies about it lmao

I had fortress by bear’s den earmarked for Hubie, as I think it’s easilyread about boundaries and a one sided intense relationship & that’s! Hubiebaybee! But I can’t possibly cover unhealthy relationships without shoving thealbum Hospice by The Antlers into every which way of it. It’s by no meansdirectly translatable to Edelgard and hubert’s relationship and it’s arguable ifI should even mention it in the same sentence as a bloody fictional character… that beingsaid, I’ve been having emotions about:Shiva – the antlers. This song specifically reads to me to be a really goodarticulation of my own thoughts about Hubert’s perspective of Edie getting experimentedon. heavy but damn. I like that. I just see a lot of what their teen years togethermust have been like in Shiva.

Time – Pink Floyd. Ok so.. it’s like Hubert in parallel bc I think thissong is a lot about searching for a purpose/reason or a quote unquote bloodyred path in life. And I may have been listening to it when I watched Hubert/DorotheaA support & now it’s just permanently associated with it bc it complementedit so well. And I like it. So . it stays. It’s very much a beagles song to meas well.

Lysithea:The Beautiful Dream – George Ezra. Ok so I read this Edelysithea ficwith this on repeat bc the title reminded me of it, and then I stuck it onrepeat because it worked too well and now.. im crying.. and i like the inflection of Lysithea’s bitterness over the titular lyric. (but also, it remains one of my steadfast edeleth songs.. sorry lys)

Secrets (Cellar Door) – Radical Face. Another Edelgard&/Lysitheasong!! I really like their relationship ok. And given the song itself can beread straight or an allegory for whatever you particularly want, but the storyis just too on the nose for me not to mention it here.(also general advocation of listening to the whole of radical face’s musicbecause I’ve loved it for years now & the work is beautiful.) (also it’swonderful for fe awakening projection. Or ur own.)

Oh Children – nick cave and the bad seeds. there’s a million different interpretations of this song, but to try nail a few onto Lysithea.. there’s the harry potter use of making/finding a light in the depths of tragedy & i love that for Lys. there’s the whole ‘the kids aren’t alright’ theme and it’s various depths. and i like narrative lyrics to plaster my large fictional-character-caused-emotions onto, so make of this one what you will.

Marianne (and Lysithea too if you like)Bad Blood – Radical Face. Ok so. This is one of my favourite songs in bloodyexistence, and it’s so loaded with meaning & it has a metric tonne of it. Icould wax lyrical about how much I love Radical Face’s work. I don’t want myinclusion of this song (specifically this one) to in any way devalue it. Butmusic is ofc incredibly subjective, and so is my reading of a lot of threehouses – in case it’s not bloody obvious by now. There’s a Lot of stories onecould take from Marianne’s character (and none of them are More Valid^tm thanany other), and I do see a very personal story in her – as I do in this song. Hgghhghive just spent 10 minutes trying to find an impersonal way to talk about twovery personal and relative stories, which naturally doesn’t work. That, and theway I read her story is Real Fucking Dicey for tumblr.com. so if this song is about accepting rejection because of parts of yourself so deep they’re in your blood, i think.. y’all can see.. where my neurodivergent gay self is going with this..

Byleth:Something to Believe In – Tom Walker. Yeah. You’re bloody welcome. If this isn’ta completely on the nose Byleth song, I’ll eat Dorothea’s hat.

Don’t Let the Man – Fatboy Slim. ~ And the sign said green-hairedpartially possessed emotionally void mercenaries need not apply for aprofessorship at the country’s most prestigious academic centre… ~

Emigrate - Novo Amor. this just fucking Got Me in the ‘actively choosing crimson flower’ feelings. im an emotional wreak but its aight. the lyrics just matched up too well for me to let it go !!!

Alps - Novo Amor. this hit me in the ‘i miss the gremlin child sothis’ feelings one day and now it’s permanently stuck that way.

Make Them Gold – chvrches. (this is very much associated with awakening’sfuture past kids and also the Carmilla series in my mind But!!) I love a story about‘if we’re all falling, we’re going down together’ and the magical power of teamwork, and how it brings out the best in people.. & that’s what this song& Byleth kinda bloody stand for ya know??

woooh.. oh my god . i need another cup of tea.

[yoshi-p]

everyone and their dog is doing it and everyone is absolutely allowed to share their opinions so i want a turn but first let me clarify:

hello im yase, been around since 1.0. I am of turkish and nogai descent and i can speak fluently in tatar, turkish but my english doesn’t hold 100% so i will be all over the place.

Unfortunately this will all be word of mouth and may be taken as vague posting, but I have experienced issues since the release of 4.0 and would like to give my opinions. I want to let this all off my chest this is just a huge vent basically so i guarantee my english will be terrible.

the most important point: NEVER EVER SPEAK FOR ANOTHER CULTURE. NEVER EVER SPEAK ABOUT A CULTURE YOU DON’T KNOW. YOU HAVE SPREAD FALSE INFORMATION AND I AM SO HURT.

another point is ITS A VIDEO GAME GUYS (does not apply to everything but some people really need to take a step back because people are concerned.)

Here’s the hot topic I’ll talk of first: garleans. I personally do not play one as I prefer to play characters that would never be involved in a sense with the political agenda because in real life im too stupid to comprehend anything like that so i wouldn’t even know how my character would behave with the hot topics. I really do think people need to take a step back and see that everyone who is putting in their input is making solid points but personally I would never compare them to nazi germany though I see why people are generalising. I always saw it as tsardom of russia with the use of roman influence as well, something obvious in naming conventions and the way the ranks/monarchy(?) works but it’s not so clear what the main influences of most places in this game if you have a look at the bigger picture. Without like full on spoiling, its weird to have this view to me with the knowledge that ascians are behind this. Are you implying anyone who plays or was influenced by ascians is also under this umbrella? 

Also why THE HELL WOULD YOU TAG SOMETHING KNOWING IT WOULD GET A LOT OF TRACTION AND RESPONSE THEN BE LIKE “you guys misunderstood, I was expressing my feelings” lol no. “ I don’t understand where this is coming from, and at this point, I don’t really want to.” then why did you even fucking bother do it in private dont tag it.

You are COMPLETELY valid to feeling uncomfortable, it is fine because with how much of this world we have there will be aspects some of us don’t like. You are not inclined to involve yourself with someone if they roleplay as a garlean but you do not need to start publicising it in a way that will paint the community in black and white when its truly a wider spectrum.

YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH AND WHO YOU PLAY WITH, PLEASE GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO GIVE YOU NEGATIVE FEELINGS OR YOU’LL SPREAD IT TO OTHERS.

from that initial and very brief tagged post there popped up many others and new discourse is arising, opening discussions about many things which is better then being blind to it all. but if you have personal grievances with someone and you state its over, let it be over. It’s not healthy behaviour. it’s also troubling to see someone complain a lot about the game and continue to play, no one is forcing you or holding a gun to your head. take breaks if you need to and play less frequently. like, real life is so much more important and there are people in this community that prioritise relationships with players etc.

Also, please stop fucking talking about mongolian/turkic/turkish culture like you know things. 99% of the big mouths in this community are americans. like majority are white americans. 

over the course of this expansion i have had many people of varied backgrounds share with me some terrible experiences and i myself have seen some truly stupid shit. 

WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU LEARN OF OUR CULTURE AND WHERE TO CONTINUE DOING SO. DO NOT INTERPRET MEDIA AS ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF CULTURE.

it is absolutely not hard to tag a post and ask around, someone will pop up. I’ve been doing my very best to let everyone i know that i can help with learning about my culture or to find someone who would be more then happy to explain and share with other cultures. But when you go off of a documentary you saw of Genghis khan or only know of the tourist white people scenes of istanbul you as a community say some TRULY dumb shit.

I like to try and be patient because i myself when approaching someone of a culture i admire and am curious about i want that in turn. But if you say to me things like “Ainu aren’t real” or “Tatar people have nothing in common with tribes from the Altai mountains” its hard to do so.

FFXIV regions are not just “Germany” “Turkey” “Mongolia”. If you think this, it’s clear to me you don’t know shit and are too lazy to explore, further just google shit its not that hard. I had someone tell me that my people could never be in this game since its “Straight up mongolia” fucks sake NO ITS NOT. The designs vary and i can see the differences in simple things like words because i actually bother to do research even coming from a turkic culture. There were some beautiful little things dropped that linked to not only my people but others like Uyghur and Altai. The only place in FFXIV i think could only have a singular influence is Kugane, because from a foreigner’s perspective that’s already interesting enough. Many people have grievances and real issues with how SE has handled Doma’s influences and no one ever talks about that. Representation for asia in media has turned into this mess of specific east asian countries, the trio that even then gets categorized into China/Japan with brief mentions of Korean culture. 

Its frustrating. There are people who are happy to teach you. Who are willing to show what is wrong with the picture.

I have read several posts about Turkey/istanbul/Antalya. Yall fuckin weird you guys seem to think its in U.A.E or some shit with how you act. It’s in the Mediterranean/Europe/Asia/Middle East and there is no such thing as a specific looking Turkish person. You claim everyone is specifically white/brown, HELL NO. It’s a mixed nation and that’s the history of the land, if you had ever fucking stepped in turkey and spoke to any person on the street they’ll say their heritage that lead them to there. People claim Ala mhigo’s influences are turkey but i have yet to see that. As someone who has lived there and has heritage there and is strongly connected to that culture, i dont see it. sure the ala mhigan gown had patternings but thats also present in my nogai culture too because parts of turkey’s society descended from the line of the Kayi tribe. Just fucking LEARN TO READ GUYS. None of you guys even know what the altai mountains mean and i could sit and explain over and over again if you let people SPEAK.

Look at Thavnairian items. We have outfits that are completely different, a full length dress and then a bustier. you can’t start generalising things in video games to be one culture you have to realise most places in this game have several influences. We don’t know a lot but everything we have been given has been varied enough to pin point it to ONLY one influence.

I don’t want to just keep going about this simply because im growing frustrated.

The thing with Viera complaints. I think some are valid but some are stupid. For one as I make this post it hasn’t even been confirmed so there is no reason for policing Viera to a severe extent. Considering all the Ivalice content in game has been an alternate universe kind of thing its dumb as shit. But feol viera being made without understanding the knowledge that people who have played rw picked up is quite frustrating. As a community, its important to help people when we have information that others may need that they cant understand the context of.

I know people are worried about them being fetishized, that is my legitimate fear too as a huge ivalice fan. But this is a repeated cycle especially when we consider generalizations like miqo’te especially seekers and belly dancing or when au ra arrived and people thought xaela were genghis khan basically. 

The game is not solid, there are so many holes in the lore and the plots and i know people hate that but we fill the gaps with our own opinions and theories. While I understand some people think we need to move forward in 2019 because “japan is xenophobic”, its a very difficult thing to do. THEY DO HIRE PEOPLE FOR CULTURE ADVISING. THEY TRAVEL OFTEN AND DEVELOP WITH THIS. IT’S NOT LIKE THEY WENT ON GOOGLE AND SAID “yeah a japan land would be fun” they literally have people hired specifically for this stuff. however, at the end of the day its a company that has yet to show it can evolve with the times. Its becoming more and more evident with the recent patterns of main titles in FF and side projects having so many issues in story/lore/management. remember 1.0 basically died being absolute garbage and this is salvaged from that.

its really late and i had a terrible evening so i may not be making the most sense but theres more important things to worry about then to make this game a miserable experience when it could be a huge learning opportunity for everyone. There’s no need to generalise people into categories because of characters they choose to develop but its important to note with majority of people standing up higher on the pedestal are those speaking for the minorities groups that have direct influences in the game.

also lol if you fucking say ainu aren’t real to me one more time i will fucking throttle you

[boxinc]

ask meme

tagged by @sylferino

1. What takes up too much of your time? Video games honestly

2. What makes your day better? Hanging with friends in voice chat and shit, also video games.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? Caught a porygon in pokemon go!

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Minecraft babeey

5. Are you good at giving advice? Yeah I like to think so, took a while for me to feel comfortable giving friends advice and i feel more confident about it now than I ever have.

6. Do you have a mental illness? I think so, got recommended to see a therapist from my physical doctor after he observed i had signs of depression after my parents’ divorce, but i never went. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, hope i never do

8. What musician inspires you the most? Video game music? cant think of any actual genre in particular i listen to a lot

9. Have you ever fallen in love? Had a few crushes, but haven't fallen in love yet

10. What’s your dream date? I have no experience in dating but i think it might be hanging out in my or her house and just hanging out and shooting the shit together

11. What do others notice about you? I dunno, maybe that i’m quiet? (if it’s not my friends), a few strangers have said I have nice eyes though

12. What’s an annoying habit you have? I drink Dr Pepper when I’m thirsty, i need to stop

13. Do you still talk to your first love? See No. 9

14. How many exes do you have? 0

15. How many songs are in your playlist? No playlist really, just listen to shit on youtube

16. What instruments can you play? I can play a few LoZ OOT songs on piano

17. What do you have the most pictures of? Cats

18. Where would you like to go before you die? Maybe like France? or Japan? Heard they’re cool places to go.

19. What’s your zodiac? Libra

20. Do you relate to it? Dont know

21. What is happiness to you? Hanging out with friends, relaxing without anyone barging in, all in all just doing my own thing.

22. Are you going through anything right now? Still a bit worried about my future right now, what im gonna do after college, how im gonna finance living on my own, etc.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? Iunno, probably made a lot of mistakes in the past but whatever, cant change it right?

24. What’s your favorite store? Fuckin Stater Bros near me, can get TWO 6oz filets for $12

25. What’s your opinion about abortion? Pro Choice

26. Do you keep a bucket list? No

27. Do you have a favorite album? I dunno

28. What do you want for your birthday? Some DND stuff, maybe a game I’m excited for

29. What are people’s first impressions of you? I’m quiet, but very passionate about certain topics and can talk longer once i get comfortable with someone.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? I dunno, like, some people think im a little younger? so like 19?

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? On my nightstand, sometimes next to me on the bed if i fall asleep listening to something on my phone.

32. What word do you say the most? It’s either fuck, shit, or um

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? like, 25 or 26 maybe

34. What’s the youngest you would date? I think 20, the idea of dating someone 3 years younger than me seems odd, i’d rather them be close to my age or a little older than me maybe.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? A lot of people/teachers recommend me to look into either engineering or programming, could be a good path

36. What’s your favorite music genre? Video Game

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? Maybe like, Canada? or somewhere in Europe

38. What is your current favorite song? The Glorious Octagon of Destiny

39. How long have you had this blog for? Fuck dude i dunno

40. What are you excited for? FUCKIN HOLLOW KNIGHT SILK SONG BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

41. Are you a better talker or listener? I feel like i can do both good, but with new people initially i listen better.

42. What was the last productive thing you did? cleaning my got dam room!

43. What do you want for Christmas? see No. 28

44. What class do you get the best grades in? Theoretically it’d be math but i never did any fuckin homework, so it’s actually like, art classes since they had no homework and were relatively easy

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? eh like a 7

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? Hopefully in a stable job that lets me pay rent and live relatively financially safely, spending time with friends and shit, maybe in a relationship.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Never been with anyone, but i think the worst i’ve ever felt in terms of romantics was when i was in high school on valentines day and two girls walked by me and one of them asked me out as a joke and ran off laughing with her friend, that shit hurted real bad, especially since i had REALLY SHIT feelings about myself back then.

48. What age do you want to get married? Sometime in the future

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be a game tester, because “play video games for money!” until i learned it was vastly about bug testing and repeating bugs over and over to find out what caused them.

50. What do you crave right now? Crab. I’m always craving crab.

This was fun, if you’re reading this you can say I tagged you

[killapunk]

the weirdest, NO, evilest, person i have every worked for

no real names are used in this piece. i refer to other weirdos and freaks throughout, sorry its a long read (i didnt intend for this) but its one of those things ya gotta settle into and believe me its a wild ride. this saga covers over three years of drama btw.

tw: mental health mentioned (inc panic attacks), chronic illness mentioned and mild sex references 

i am going to single out jess. shes more evil than a weirdo but weirdo nonetheless. pete is a secondary weirdo in this saga.

i work in retail for a long time. a fashion store to be precise. i started out in one store but transferred when i started studying at uni and remained there for the majority of the retail career. during my time there i had three managers, the longest one, who is also a fucking weirdo was pete. now before i worked with pete, before he transferred to our store. i didnt like pete when i started working with him, he annoyed the fuck outta me. but my life circumstances changed and my mental health issues got very bad AND i was diagnosed with cfs so i had to disclose it w him. turns out… he was fucking mental too, very understanding, super chill. we liked the same shit. great boss. 11/10 every time.

he would be my reference for every job ever…

…but. he started gettin involved w jess. now to jess. the main character in this piece.

jess had started at the company around the same time as me and we were always on the same level until the last year or so. jess was a bit older than the average age of staff at the store (17-20) and was 23 when this drama started. she had a college diploma, went onto do something semi-successful but related to her HND. but blew all her money, moved back into her parents and started working at the store part time and then onto full time. she was like…the perfect retail girl? small, cute, slim, bubbly… always looked cool in her uniform. customers loved the fuck out of her. 

jess had a bf when i first started and pete had a longstanding gf. jess and her bf ended things abt 4 or 5 months before pete and his gf. but i remember they started gettin cushy around about this time. im not sure if its cos im v sympathetic towards pete (a true kind soul who i hold v dearly in my heart) but even tho youd be thinking ‘boss abuses his power’ …jess was and still is fuckin manipulative and he has longstanding mental health issues and i just think she sorta got the ball rollin’. pete and his gf didn’t seem on good terms, i dunno the full story but it seemed like they should have broken a long time before the did.

i think the fortnight before pete and his gf broke up they were spotted hanging out together near where she lived. it was this hush hush thing that everyone giggled abt cos there was at the time talk they were fuckin. when it got out, after his breakup jess said she was ‘just being a friend’ cos he was ‘going through a tough time’. 

jess got promoted to keyholder even though she didnt really (at the time) have the skills or confidence to be a keyholder. and then she started to try and fuckin control the work. back during this time, everyone who worked at the store, minus literally 3 people, had worked for the company for at least a year. the store ran very well, we were always in profit. nothing went wrong. but. she started changing processes because it 'made things easier when she was opening’. like. she made everyone tally the amount of people they served in the fitting room in one box and tally the amount of things people left behind so she could make a sales chart. idk if that’s normal in other stores but like? it was just nuts and impossible to do.we always put deliveries away out the package but not folded in a particular way. she made everyone tag and (where relevant) hang items bc she had to pick everything in the morning. 

she became friends w most of the girls, including one of the supervisors. they ruled the workplace. it was a total gossip mill. she gaslit the fuck outta people. one already less-popular girl at work ended up quitting cos she kept blaming her for fuck ups, she kept getting write ups and it was impating her mental health. she spun people against her. less popular girl spoke up and called her a bully and jess acted all defensive and said she wasn’t a bully bc shed been bullied before? jess continued to fuck up the workplace. next she turned on two people in her own clique. one tbh, i think she was jealous of bc jess had always wanted to be a teacher and this gal was training to be one. the other girl was v like jess, just not a bitch… strongwilled, liked control. anyway, drama got to the point where they had to quit. waay too much drama for this textpost. at this point others started to notice n work became hostile. jess moved her girlgang clique to one of the original clique girls, a different supervisor and the other two full time staff members.

pete obv didn’t listen to people coming to him, as store manager being like… hey… there’s this major clique problem and he’d be like ‘nah everyone is just friends, jess is a bit insecure but yno things are good, people quit, its just retail. fuck it.’ jess accused everyone who didn’t get on w her as being a terrible person. those legit words. like. if someone said it was a shame x, y or z left shed rebut, nah they were shit at their job, they were a shit person. honestly. EVERYONE. was a bad person. even the nicest people in the world were the worst person, the worst at the job. she was a good person, she liked the good people. she HAD BEEN BULLIED AND WOULD NEVER BULLY. she threw the anxiety word around a lot.

once we had a staff night out and i got left alone with jess and pete at the end of the night in this terrible lil bar as i waited for someone to pick me up. this is a good point to mention jess was always weirdly jealous cos i was close to pete. fucking ridic considering he was 14 years older than me and you know my fucking boss??? this night, i was sitting right next to pete, we were both drinking, jess wasn’t (cos she likes to be in control, she even said it), he had his arm around me and was whispering something into my ear that was such a non-thing i don’t even remember. she got her phone out, started texting. he excused himself and when he returned he sat beside her. it was fucking nuts. i couldn’t believe my eyes. we had to basically carry pete out of the bar. jess said to me she was gonna drive him home cos it was on the way to hers (spoiler! it was not!). myself and pete did the open the next day. he came in wearing the same clothes. i mean, he could have just passed out and had to rush to work when he woke up. but. this guy went out a lot. he never repeated an outfit. i think jess took advantage of a very drunk him. similarly, on another night out, jess promised to drive someone home. said person got too drunk and thew up. jess refused to take them home and called them embarrassing, she gave the space in her car to pete.

i had a major bad evening shift at work concerning another staff member, kaylee. a gal who just rubbed me up the wrong way, and who didn’t like me. ill never know why but it was just one of those things where anytime i was on shift w her she would nitpick and bitch about me and just… make me feel not v good. she was possibly the laziest and rudest person i had ever worked with but someone got away with it?

i used her as a way to talk to pete about the general problems in the store (jess). and…it was fuckin surreal. i told him abt kaylee. i told him i thought jess was controlling but kinda laid off a bit like ‘i get she thinks shes doing it for good’ etc. i padded it out w a few other rly petty issues abt the store. i was actually really upset, kinda numb from life to properly let out my emotions. and then. he started cry on me. like this full-on grown man having a panic attack in front of me when i was 19, fucked on diazepam i should have never been prescribed. to this day i visualise it. me and pete were v close at this point, and like, he didn’t mention jess too much – asked me about the other girl and other issues when i came to him. we spoke about personal shit, all but jess. i kinda wonder if he didn’t have the panic attack if i would have told him his under the radar relationship w her was not on?

and then. pete sold me out in the name of jess. idk the full ins and outta everything but he had to confront the drama once and for all cos our figures were so low so he decided to blame it all on kaylee. from my understanding of the situ from a lot of ‘he said she said’ bs, pete had this big meeting w kaylee. was like. 1. do ur job right and 2. stop being rude and unapproachable. the thing is, although kaylee is rude shes one of these ppl who most ppl really liked, not in a jess/regina george theyre scared of you way but…like they thought she was a tv character and she was funny and honest. so i think she confronted some obvious allies, and jess told her, according to another staff member, that i complained about her. after hearing this i obvious went to pete and tbh, acted pretty dramatic (cos if you haven’t fucking learned already THIS STORE WAS FULL OF DRAMA QUEENS). as soon as i heard, i started texting him angrily on his day off. i remember folding something in the fitting rooms and he came up to give me a hug and i was like ‘HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TELL OTHER PEOPLE MY BUSINESS’. i confronted jess, in a lighter tone, cos i obv told pete (half) what i felt about her. jess played the fucking innocent role. like, she said something along the lines of ‘we’re both close to pete n he was so worried that when me, you and kaylee did those shifts together that something would go wrong. so he told me to keep an eye on things and that’s all i told kaylee cos she wasn’t sure why she was being targeted when so many people in this store are treating people badly. i didn’t say you reported her or anything, honestly!!!!’ queue more bs.

after this, jess didn’t bother with me but was never explicit about hating me. if there was a convo going on and i tried to join in she scolded at me for being nosey. if i was unwell (i have cfs) shed moan ‘jokingly’ that i always had to be ill. i think she ripped on me once cos i said i was late for a hand-in at uni.

her next real victim, however, was jack, my best friend in store and our supervisor. jack was getting fucked over in his supervisor role bc pete would schedule jess for anything managerial. jess started a rumour that pete didn’t trust jack bc jack fucked it at a meeting w the other stores (semi true but fucking up a meeting isn’t the end of the world). like. anything jack would be, jess would be on him. by this point 50% of the staff that were around at the start of the story HAD LEFT. jess had driven people out and had the new ones all up her arse.

pete quit. it was sudden.

not long later, facebook popped up with a fuckin ‘pete is in a relationship with jess’ status and pete has never spoken to me again. i left shortly after that, although our new manager was lovely i felt like i was working for jess.

jack ended up GETTING DEMOTED, by petes replacement who had no idea what a shitstorm she was getting herself into. the new manager PROMOTED jess and demoted jack bc she was doing all the supervisor jobs whilst jack was only doing midshifts. he didnt get shafted to the lowest pay and was instead given the title ‘trainer and authorised opener/closer’ whilst still doing the same fucking job. he transferred out, cos that shit is fucking degrading and within, like two months he was put back up his rightful position. yay for my forever work bestie. I

feel like this has been going on for too long now. i think this doesn’t do her justice. like…i cant believe someone who is NOW 26 and who got what she wanted after manipulating a mentally ill man caused so much drama and pain and tension in a fucking clothes store.

fucking horrid. im reading this completely exhausted and so i cant say much but i just feel like these people are always the ones who come out on top, and its so fucked up. im really sorry you had to deal with so many unpleasant people, and your friend as well. 

i swear mediocrity and asskissing is what gets you anywhere in this world, and manipulative cunts like this jess woman take full advantage of that. it’s pretty scary, honestly. amazing how far drama can go, huh. this is why i have trust issues.

i still hope she gets her ass kicked by life, though. there has to be some sort of karmic justice somewhere

i also feel like i should say that there’s always going to be people who won’t like you for some reason. even if you don’t do anything wrong and even though everyone else thinks they’re great. no idea why this happens, but all i can say is there’s really nothing you can do. so FUCK EM (in the most metaphorical sense as they don’t deserve you giving them the time of day)

[awfully-sadistic]

Languages.

Because I don’t feel like writing a prompt today doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try writing at all. I actually thought of this as I fell asleep. I’m just... relieved I remembered. Going to switch up my On The Spot tags so I’m not spoiling who the fuck I’m writing for, that’s why they’re under the tag in the first place.

“What are you doing, Sergei?” Dot laughed, amused. “I know you’re not an entire mute.”

Sergei Dragunov’s hands moved; she knew them to be rough and callous at the fingertips. They were large enough to cup her entire face in the palm of his hand, but surprisingly warm sometimes. That must be because he always had them in his gloves. He was signing to her and for some reason, refusing to talk. Their mind link was always an option but there was a deliberate reason he was doing what he was doing.

“What’s he saying?” There was no mistaking the annoyance in Bennett’s tone as he lowered his head and nearly growled in Dot’s ear. Bennett Graves was a very big person in everything, it seemed. Personality, height, build, and attitude. He clearly did not like the fact he was kept out of the loop by Sergei’s swift signing. He didn’t know sign language!

The three of them sat together this morning; Bennett was always attached to Dot in some way as the overprotective father and Daddy to three pups and His very special little girl. And since the pups, he’s only seemed to have gotten worse in terms of his jealousies and possessiveness. The youngest of two elder brothers, the one of which is his very own twin, he was the baby. He was used to getting away with a lot because Aiden never really pulled his ass in line when they were younger and why shouldn’t he had? There was no real reason to curb the destructive path all three brothers were bound. At least, not until a few years ago. Now Bennett found it hard to be his “normal” self breaking old and hurtful habits to trade them in for gentler hands, kinder words because he wanted to know how to be with Dot without seriously hurting her in any way. He was getting used to the fact that he’s not the center of everything. Dot was. But that was more than okay with him and Bennett was content to tell every-fucking-body who listened the same thing. She and the pups were his whole world and he stubbornly, protectively, and possessively held on to his whole world with both hands.

“Tell him it’s none of his business.”

Dot laughed again. “He says it’s none of your business.”

Bennett’s golden gaze snapped to cold, uncaring blue ones. “Why the fuck can’t he tell me that himself?”

“Yeah, why can’t you, Sergei?” Dot grinned.

Sergei’s hands paused and Dot thought she imagined his expression getting harder. If that were anymore possible. Finally, he signed, “It’s a conversation between you and I.”

“Well, that’s true.” Dot admitted.

“...What did he say?” Bennett repeated, moments away from spitting the next thing through his razor sharp teeth.

“He said it’s a--” Sergei signed again and the movement caught out of the corner of her eye.

“Don’t tell him a thing.”

“I don’t know how you managed to make that sound demanding through your hands...” Dot muttered before looking hopelessly at Bennett. “Sorry, Daddy. But i can’t tell You anything.”

“That’s bullshit!” Bennett shouted, nearly jostling Dot as he stood to his feet. Bennett was always a step away from a aggressive punch in the face and it looked like Sergei was managing to hit all the right buttons -- all without saying a word.

Somewhat.

“Perhaps he should have picked up the habit of signing. Didn’t he say he was going to learn?”

“...Yeah,” Dot said, turning from Sergei’s hands to Bennett again. “Didn’t You say You were going to learn how to sign from Lu?”

Bennett blinked and almost immediately, the flame was snuffed out as the subject caused him to think for a moment. He sat down as he asked, “Lu? Yeah. I could have asked him. But then he said somethin’ stupid and I got mad. So, we don’t like Lu right now and I’m definitely not learnin’ anything from him.”

While Dot would agree that her brothers were stupid, Bennett was more likely to get pissed off by something Luvon said that happened to be an observation he pointed out and it wouldn’t entirely be off the mark. But she didn’t say anything after that, she only reached over and gave her Daddy a comforting pat on the knee. However, Sergei was a lot more open to the idea.

“I like Luvon.”

Dot laughed. “Yeah, well, you would.”

“He would, what?” Bennett asked, a little prickly.

“He said he liked Lu.”

Bennett snorted, “babygirl is right. You fuckin’ would.”

“I like Benedict, too.”

“Aww,” Dot sighed, placing her hands over her heart, happy to hear about Benedict in any capacity. But then she paused as she thought over that group of selective men. “Yeah. I bet the three of you get along really well.”

“I don’t need to know sign language to know his ass lumped Bene in there, too, huh?”

“Wow, Daddy, you really didn’t!”

“He’s not as dumb as he looks.”

Dot hadn’t meant to laugh. It was just such a blunt statement and it had taken her off-guard.

“...What?” Bennett asked.

“N-Nothing, Daddy. He asked how Benedict was doing.”

“That is not what I asked, little fibbing girl.”

Dot ignored that particular phrased sign. Bennett was already talking which spared her from looking Sergei in the face to see the matching expression.

“How should I know? The three of y’all hang out so much, it’s annoyin’. Shouldn’t you feel him in your dick or something?”

“I take back what I said about him not being as dumb as he looks.”

Dot breathed in deeply through her nose. “No, Daddy, that’s You and Cavon.”

“...Is that what he said?”

“That’s what i’m saying!”

“Oh. Then you’d be right.”

“We exchange messages through our phones like normal people.”

Dot laughed again and Bennett immediately looked suspicious.

“I really don’t like that I can’t fuckin’ understand him.”

“He just said they exchange texts. Like normal people.”

Bennett’s closed fist came down upon the coffee table in front of them. “THAT JUST MAKES ME AND BRO-BRO SPECIAL. SUCK THAT, YA DEAD LOOKIN’ BASTARD!”

“Daddy, that’s not very nice...” Dot scolded gently, turning to look over at Sergei. He wasn’t signing anymore. But his face certainly didn’t look too bothered. He was regarding Bennett the exact way Benedict or Luvon would -- almost with boredom and he’d let Bennett throw his fit, to let him do all the work of making himself look ridiculous, and getting mad all by himself.

And Bennett caught on.

“GODDAMN IT, THEY DO GET ALONG STUPIDLY WELL!” He threw his hands up, standing. Not as a means to throw a punch at Sergei but he was starting to walk out.

“Where are you going?!” Dot laughed.

“I’M NOT TAKING LESSONS FROM LUVON!” Bennett huffed and growled over his shoulder, “I’M GOING TO FIND YOUR GODDAMN APES AND HAVE THEM TEACH ME!”

“Makes sense he would understand an ape better than any of us.”

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT HE SAID!” Bennett shouted, noting that Sergei had been signing again. He paused before he reached the door, pointing at the both of them. “I’m going to learn my own damn self and then kick his ass for talking shit! BECAUSE I KNOW HE’S TALKIN’ SHIT!”

Dot was laughing into her hands, trying her best to compose herself but the image of Bennett sitting in the middle of all that misty jungle, shirt off, trying to learn sign language with the giant apes was something that kept popping in her head. “Daddy, please, come back.”

“I’M ON A MISSION, BABYGIRL!” Bennett shouted, shutting the door behind him. “I”LL COME BACK WHEN I’M READY!” came his muffled reply before his stomping boots faded down the hall.

“I could have taught you myself!” Dot shouted but Bennett was out of earshot and she knew this because his ass would have come running back, sounding like a rhino. Finally settled back in her seat, she turned to Sergei with a hand lifted towards the door. “Look at what you did.”

Sergei turned her face her again from that uninterested gaze he had kept on Bennett to a softened expression only reserved for Dot. The corner of his scarred lip was faintly tugged upwards in a ghost of a smirk. He didn’t say anything after that but the look on his face said it for him. 

He was entirely proud of running Bennett away to spend the rest of this quiet time with Dot where he can finally put his hands to good use on something, no, someone else.

And Dot realized this way too late as he scooped her up.

[noecat]

10 facts abt me tag

thank u @dotingdamen ! <3 

1.  juice related: i always pick berry and i never enjoy drinking it bc it always has that weird-ass chemical taste like ? i dont understand myself ? do i do it for the aesthetic bc it’s a “me thing” ? in any case, orange juice = master race & apple (esp w aloe vera bits, ew) is the nastiest shit ever

2. sleep related: every single time my schedule is relaxed to any degree i enter a state in which i stay up until the early morning, pass out, sleep all day (forgetting to eat or do anything useful at all), wake up in the evening too tired to do anything besides be on my phone in bed & repeat the cycle. perhaps i have An Problem

3. spoon related: i eat everything w teaspoons! idk tablespoons are too Big, ive never really questioned the reasoning behind this

4. blog related: i started as a bbc sherlock blog (no comment. no comment) before the fandom went to shit so i went pure aesthetic but then kpop happened and then i got into anime and then i ended up w this ..... Blog ...... in which i try desperately to balance the memes with the aesthetic content with the anime in order to minimize the degree to which i piss off my followers

5. writing related: i was supposed to update fish fic half a month ago. kill me, and also dont mention this fact ever again anywhere. fish fic what fish fic.

6. hair related: i wanna cut mine !! i want to bleach it to hell and back !! i want a cute pixie cut but also i want to dye it completely black so it makes me look like i never see the light of day!! fuck, im so excited, can u imagine, im going to take my hair on a fuckin ride the moment i graduate

7. graduation related: i graduate this year. good luck, hair :)<3

8. hobby related: shit i literally have time to do nothing but i am kinda into reading manga lately ?? i rly need to finish watching knb, finish watching haikyuu holy shit, n then watch bnha (only read the manga so far) &&&& then i gotta actually watch the rest of yoi/start on voltron so i can stop feeling like a fucking catfish everytime i reblog smth from those fandoms

9. personal life related: im a complete mess but at least at this point in life i have exactly 0 rivals, 0 enemies of any kind and 0 viable love interests. good ground to improve upon!

X. personality related: it probably doesnt bleed thru bc i so rarely share anything personal on here but im equal parts perfectly willing to make friends and engage in Snarky Banter and (holy shit blease talk to me) && perfectly unwilling to invest any kind of effort in anything at all ! as u can see, it goes very well ! where did everyone i knew go though;;

~ tagging (no pressure, no obligations) below ~

disclaimer this is just me scrolling thru activity n picking mutuals/ppl whose urls i recognize

@wingjk (my wife whomst i love.) @h-y-p-h-e-n-d-o-t-s (i know u were alr tagged but anytime i c u in activity im like !!! wow !! so im tagging u anyway have a nice day) @eviespncer (i hope it’s not weird to tag u asdjfds i see u in my activity a lot & m curious) @whatxiumin (hi hello mutual idk if u do tags but !) @cary0phyllaceae (hi hello !) @actual-606 (hi ! helo) @eggybean (!hi ! hello) @gansaey (i do not Recall when we became mutuals but it seems super long ago but we havent interacted much??) @anti-social-kat (hello!) @ollyhooper (ohoho hi! i rmbr u from the sherlock fandom times :’) idk if u do tags but!) @patrolcus (hello, another mutual i know absolutely nothing about ;-;) @punk-failure (hi!!) @hixtapemp3 (hello!! hi) @lovecitys (omg the colors in ur mobile theme description r so aesthetically pleasing)

ok im tired ;; love u all 

[sol-lar-bink]

TAGGED BY @dailyoddmew A cute and odd lil mew~ (who I wasn’t following apparently MY BAD)

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you would like to know better 2ND RULE: bold the statements that are true

oh okay uhhh @photographerh @kamauster22 @ottiff @banessquik @sometimes-strange-skitty @lovelybug-art @sol-lar-bink And I can’t think of anymore I’m half asleep rn nnnn ;;o;;

((If you’ve done this or don’t want to, feel free to skip it! And if you want to do it but haven’t tagged, justtttt go for it!!))

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7"  or taller (5′03′’ I think) I wear glasses (For long distances only~) I have at least one tattoo (Nupe) I have at least one piercing (no thanks uwu ) I have blonde hair (dark brown sound good?) I have brown eyes I have short hair (I like it short, expose my F O R E H E A D) My abs are at least somewhat defined (what abs) I have or have had braces (N e v e r)

PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people (Kindaa. I’m more nervous and shy tbh but I do like it) People tell me that I’m funny (I think so? I try to be funny at least uvu) Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me (I can try, and I want to help most of the time. But I’m not very good at it.) I enjoy physical challenges (NOOOPE) I enjoy mental challenges (M I N E S W E E P E R) I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it (I have no clue but ima say yes just incase) There is something I would change about my personality (Don’t we all have something?)

ABILITY: I can sing well (Flan said my singing is nice so... I’ma say yes u//v//u ...even if all my songs are S A N I C) I can play an instrument (I suck :3c ) I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (HAH, I can barely do 5) I’m a fast runner (Nupe. Not even sonic’s shoes can save my slow ass) I can draw well (HECK YEA I CAN) I have a good memory (NOPE, I forget things after like 5 seconds) I’m good at doing math in my head (Eeehhhh... basic sums I guess. But if you get your fractions and tangents in then hand me the calculator) I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (I used to be able to. Dunno anymore) I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (Curry in a jar anyone? :B thatdon’tcount) I know how to throw a proper punch (why punch. When K I C K)

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports (Haven’t played any sports in ages) I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else (whatdidIJUSTSAY) I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week (SO LOOK AROUND YOU AND TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY SEE, I’M NEVER ENDING AND THATS THE DIFFERENCE IN YOU AND ME) I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months (why are these hobbies about EXERCISE AND SINGING) I have drawn something in the past month (YEP) I enjoy writing (YEP) FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION (YEP!!!) I do or have done martial arts (I DID, it was p’ fun while it lasted)

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss (S-SOON. I HOPE, SOOOOOOOON) I have had alcohol (I like a rum n cola~ uwu) I have scored the winning goal in a sports game (fuk u sports) I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi (Only like, once or twice) I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day (God I wish. Speedrun Mania or sumthing) I have visited another country (Italy, Spain, France for Disneyland when I was like 5) I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship (Eeeeeee ;;/v/;; Flaaaaan~ <3) I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know (MORE THAN THAT NOW, F L A A A AN~) I have been in at least 3 relationships (when I was a stupid teenager) I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily (Uh, I wouldn’t say so?) I have had a crush on someone for over a year (PFFF, never crushed for a year, w o a h) I have been in a relationship for at least a year (I think I have... I don’t... remember really) I have had feelings for a friend (Yeee)

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” (Best friends have always been a tough thing for me) I live close to my school (I’m 22, do I look like I go to school) My parents are still together (Yee~ happy family here uvu ) I have at least one sibling (MY BROOOO, he’s cool~) I live in the United States (How original of you, meme maker) There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month (AHAHAHAHA, HAHAHA, HAHA, HA...Haaa) I have a smartphone (Is that what they’re called now) I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie (I know, several Jamie’s) I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce (French teacher probs) I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now (SO LOOK AROUND YOU AND TELL ME WHAT YOU REALLY SEE, YOU LIVE A LIE AND THATS THE DIFFERENCE IN YOU AND ME (IS IT FUCKIN’ OBVIOUS NOW) I have punched someone in the past week (MYSELF jkjk) I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life (YEA SURE, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING)

I speak at least 2 languages (I am too dumb to learn 2 languages.)

I have made a new friend in the past year (YEEEEEEEEE, quite a few tbh~)

TIME

TO

TAG

@seth-astral @doodlewill @b-randart, @cinnamon-bat, @im-crow, @theexplodingcelebi @trapmagius, @kawmapkarma, @zyrralex,

@bokurei-san

Holy fuk I tagged 10 people

I have

FRENS

You don’t gotta do the tag if ya don’t want tho uwu

[lunar-pantheon]

TAG MEME COMPILATION

OK so like basically i’m absolute fucking shit at responding to mentions specifically tag memes so i decided to put a few all into one post and i know some of these were from last fucking year but liste n. i’m slow about this kind of thing ok better late than never right ok so

Tagged by: @pansexual-snake

Rules: Answer the questions and Tag 10 Blogs you’d like to know better

Sign: Virgo

Last Thing Googled?: writing topics generator- i had to write a poem for class and didn’t know what to write about lmao

Last TV Show Watched: Grimm or Steven Universe

When Did I Create My Blog?: may 2014!

Do I Have Any Other Blogs?: oh buddy i have many™

Do I Get Asks Regularly?: not lately, but i would love to be sent more!

Why Did I Choose My Url?:because im gay as fuck and love su

Gender: demiboy? boy? nb? its a mystery my guy

Pokémon Team: Team Mystic

Favorite Colors: the rainbow bc im ga y

Average Hours of Sleep: like 5/6

Favorite Characters: oh buddy there are too many just take a single look at my blog youll see

Dream Job: theater technician/lighting designer or animator

TAGGED BY @sucker-for-contrast

RULES: Tell your followers 11 random facts about yourself, and tag 11 people in return! Tag backs are allowed, but you mustn’t repeat any of the facts you mentioned previously!

uh ok so fun fact, ive had pneumonia 4 times bc i was a stressed child with immune system and lung problems -jazz hands-

i realized i was gay as shit in 6th/7th grade

i realized i was trans as shit like last year

my favorite animal is the mantis shrimp

once i was at my grandmas house and like. she had just cleaned one of her sliding glass doors right? and my brother. my fuckenign brother. he zipped his little ass through her house and just fuckign. SLAMMED into the door. it looked like it was straight out of a cartoon i swear to god i couldnt stop laughing

im a straight A (for the most part) student with an absolutely crippling fear of failure and a huge procrastination problem so thats fun

every time i have to go to the bathroom in my tech class my teacher insists that i say something awesome about myself and i never know what to say so i just say some stupid shit that isnt really even that awesome

i basically live in my schools auditorium at this point

i seem like a pretty open person but im actually really closed off and very few people know all that much about me so -jazz hands part two-

i talk a lot (im p sure to an annoying extent but w/e)

idk i like animated movies a lot

thank you for tagging me friendo!!

Tagged by @jjcka

Rules: Answer these questions and tag 9 people you want to know better

Relationship status: dating @father-son-and-the-holy-jarvis <3

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick bc i hate having dry lips but also occasionally like. bright red lipstick bc i look badass in it

Top 3 shows: su, gravity falls, and atla are like my all time favs, grimm is a current fav bc im watching it rn and its pretty good

Top 3 characters: oooooh buddy idk uh. fuck buddy all of em??

Last song I listened to: right now im listening to trapdoor by twenty one pilots bc im an edgy piece of shit

TAGGED BY @thebiggestdoggoenthusiast

rules: tag people you want to get to know better

how old are you: 15

current job/dream job: theater tech/lighting designer or animator!!

what are you talented at: shit idk like. im an ok artist? and i enjoy tech theater but idk if im all that great at it. i guess i can sing some songs p well and write decently?? maybe?? im not good at this kind of thing lmao

what is a big goal you are working towards (or have already achieved): uhhh becoming a better artist/technician and improving my mental state probably

what’s your aesthetic: forests and sunsets/sunrises!

do you collect anything: i like collecting art prints when i can buy them! one of my walls is covered in them!

what’s a topic you’re always up to talk about: tech, shows im into, lgbt shit

what’s a pet peeve of yours: ohh when people assume that they know everything about me and my mental state bc of the very few and limited things ive told them and try to explain to me how a certain thing feels/try to tell me that i couldnt possibly experience it like that gets me so fuckin PISSED you dont even know

good advice to give: i guess like. dont bite off more than you can chew in school and shit? you dont have to work yourself to absolute exhaustion in order to do well/feel accomplished. it’s ok to take a break. if you’re working yourself to the point that if the series of events youve planned in your head goes even slightly wrong you’ll fall apart, you’re pushing yourself too hard.

recommend three songs:

cellophane- sia

before you start your day- twenty one pilots

medicine- daughter

bonus songs because i like a lot of songs ok:

river- bishop briggs

the dream- cirque du soleil paramour (i just saw this show not too long ago and i just love the chords and feel of this song tbh)

bird set free- sia

thank you guys so much for tagging me in stuff!! 

ok so like. im shit at tagging people so like? if you see this and go like “ooo boi i wanna do THAT one” you go buddy live ur dreams and do it and you can do any/all of these do whatever you want but like. i dont think im gonna do a formal tagging of specific people for this one? just show me if yall end up doing one!

[carelessmemories]

I was tagged by @bowiepop to list 6 songs ive had on repeat recently!!

I Think Your Nose Is Bleeding - The Front Bottoms: A song with very compelling lyrics n one i like to sing to myself when i listen (also reminds me of my bf bc he introduced me to them)

My Joy - Depeche Mode: been sinking into sofad lately to compensate for ignoring it for years and this one always makes me feel some type of way

I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters: a fuckin banger and one i love to trot down the street to

Instant Crush - Daft Punk ft Julian Casablancas: one of my all time daft punk faves and im back on a kick with this track

Bad Boys - Wham!: i really love wham's bad boy era they had for their first album and this song is so much fun to groove to!

U.M.F. - Duran Duran: another old fave of mine that im crawling back to bc its GOOD

i tag @cotton-corduroy @seconddoubt and @astro-gnome if you so wish!