#i also wish jensen and misha saw some of the stuff on here about destiel and spn

[angel-fruitcake]

sometimes i really wish all the people who ever worked on supernatural saw some of the genius spn/destiel takes and posts on this godforsaken hellsite. lord knows this fanbase has always understood those characters better and more intimately than any writer could ever dream of knowing them

[estrel]

Hi ely, I've been following you for a long time, and I know before the finale you were pro dabb and now you don't like him, and like I was pretty much on the same page so I thought you would be the right person to ask. So I saw this post today that had an excerpt of an interview with dabb from like early 2020, and he talks about how the ending won't be a full circle thing and that he thinks that would be invaliding for the the story.

I just don't know what to think anymore, everything is so conflicted. Like what do you make of this? I've been pissed at Dabb and I get that there was also probably some network stuff going on but that's not stopped me from being pissed. This just sort of turned the tables on me and I don't know what Dabb did and didn't do

ohhh here's the thing. (also sorry for just now seeing this??) dabb wrote. like. a Lot of destiel episodes/content. let me just...dig up the hope vibes masterpost real quick...

here are some deancas eps he wrote (and a list of all the eps he wrote) in addition to 15x01 and 15x10 which were...you know... eps that drove forward the destiel plot for the season. he gave cas generally good plots, (like he literally wrote hunteri heroici and would make sam and dean allude to cas or speak on his behalf if he wasn’t in an episode) he wrote the widower arc prayer scene in 13x01 which i (and many others) thought would mean that he would like. show dean’s grief a lot more post-15x18. 

so really, honestly, the cards all lined up for dabb to not let us down in 15x20. you could argue that his mention of cas was fulfilled by the stupid scene with sam and dean and the pie (wherein dean basically goes “yeah, whatever” at the mention of cas and jack) or bobby’s “cas helped” but...this is the guy who. this is the guy who wrote “you’re gonna bring back cas, you’re gonna bring back mom” (HELLO?) and “he’s in love........with humanity” AND, like i mentioned before, 15x01 which was the beginning of the season’s deancas arc and last but not least,,

15x10 the heroes journey. which i have talked about quite a bit but oh my god. garth’s story was the example, the standard to live up to. he was breaking the cycle, and in this episode sam and dean learned this from him. dean admitted he could be capable of having a happy life/relationship. not to mention that the episode is called. The Heroes Journey. sam and dean are literally established (ALONG NEXT TO GARTH) as the heroes in this story. like point blank that is what is stated in this episode. then they tell you that hunter heroes like garth can get happy endings. (and might i remind you this is also the episode with “why lamp.”) so anyways, if dabb wrote this episode it would seem obvious that he didn’t want sam and dean’s story to go full circle and that he wanted them to ..like...complete the heroes’ journey. duh. obviously.

and yet, according to multiple sources and jensen’s overall dislike of the finale, dean’s death was always going to happen. so. personally, i think it might come down to the omitted scenes (which, okay, have not yet been verified but. think about how short that episode was. especially for the season finale of a fifteen year long show. then wipe that covid excuse straight from your mind as i point you to the bridge scene. yeah, covid my ass. anyways,) and what was pointedly left out of them. especially that mention of “if cas was here...” “he’s not.” like. if that shit is REAL? i think it might have been--on a meta level--dabb’s/the writer’s commentary on the fact that cas was not there if he was actually intended to be. 

i mean. if dean dying was always the ending, and dabb wrote 15x10 the heroes journey and all the very obvious parallels between dean and garth, then why lamp, AND “this baby keeps looking at me weird” “so kind of like the real cas?,” and ALSO stated he didn’t want their story to go full circle...well. then my thoughts lead me to believe that yeah, cas was at the very least supposed to be in dean’s heaven ending. 

misha confirmed the draft with jimmy novak was Legit (in a recent m&g iirc), but i feel like even this would have been a last ditch effort as a response to not being able to have cas in dean’s heaven bc homophobia that would have then been played off as a tragedy when dean doesn’t have cas there (this also opens up a whole ‘nother can of worms of like. “if dean’s heaven doesn’t have cas...then is it really Heaven at all?” but alas), if that makes sense. because the other puzzle pieces are matching up except for one and it’s infuriating to not just Know everything that went on because i’m sure there are lots of layers to it but all in all my opinion is that i’m Frustrated and Confused. 

signs point to cas being in the finale. then he wasn’t. the fanfiction gap lies in the in-between of those two sentences, and i wish i had the answers, but i don’t ...which also means i don’t know who to blame. i wanna blame everyone <3 but i do think the network had a bigger role in the caslessness of 15x19 and the finale

[thetiredstuff]

oh same here, I've blocked dozens and dozens of destiel blogs over the last few days. basically anyone wishing death or other horrible things on jensen (and jarpad, I mean, I dont like the guy either, but that is going way too far), anyone fantasizing about and plotting ways to make jensen suffer, anyone claiming he is a rabid homophobe, anyone hoping to destroy his career... and all the people gleefully celebrating that "everyone" has turned on jensen now because they've always hated jensen and always knew he was a horrible person etc.

I absolutely cannot stand that kind of gross mob mentality and I find it hilarious that they all think they're the most woke and progressive people in this fandom, when they don't have a shred of kindness and consideration between them. they're the ones who would have called for people to be burned at the sake in the middle ages (and I've literally seen them wish for exactly that for jensen and jared) and they don't even realize it.

Yeah exactly this! I also agree about the wishing (severe) bodily harm. My stance on my presence online is: would I say it to their face? And I would absolutely say all of what I've said to jp's face. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I wished bodily harm on someone. I'd rather they see some consequences for their actions.

Although, I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't disclose that I definitely sometimes wish for people to step on Lego or maybe fall down some stairs. Not badly but ya know. But that's the bad person in me.

But yes people have definitely gone off the rails with what happened this past weekend.

And I am sick of people coming for Jensen every chance they get. The loved calling him "fruity", which already irked me to death because that is an insult that is still not been reclaimed by the queer men it's been used against and almost all of the peopel using that insult as a "joke" had no business using it in the first place.

And then when he doesn't dance exactly like they want him to, they turn on him in an instant. Literally everyone says stuff they are not supposed to say, or puts their foot in their mouth, or encounters situations where they should have said something but didn't. Because we aren't perfect. Humans are not perfect.

But seeing how humans react to missing the mark, to putting their foot in their mouth, to not standing up when needed, to saying something they shouldn't have, that is incredibly important. And the context.

People keep coming for Jensen over his "open for interpretation" but guess what? He literally cannot confirm nor deny how Dean feels about Cas. Why? Because we never saw in the show how Dean felt.

The contracts that they signed basically boil down to: the show has ended so you cannot add to the existing material. You cannot add something of dialogue, or feelings, or stories about your character. You cannot speak in the name of your character. Which is why Misha had to stipulate during his panel "THAT THIS IS NOT CANON" He yelled it very loudly before answering about Cas in Heaven.

So technically, yes, Jensen can answer the question if he stipulates that what he is about to say is not canon. But it could jeopardize any projects with WB or in the SPN universe down the line. And it could jeopardize his potential career if he doesn't take contracts seriously.

What counts to me is that over the years, there have been so many queer fans who shared their interactions with Jensen and all of them have been positive. Haven't seen a negative one yet. Besides that, we've heard about his commitment to LGBTQ+ organizations. He doesn't do it for PR because the only reason we know about it is because those organizations or those in attendance reveal it later on.

And now he's started up a company with someone who is making waves for LGBTQ+ talent in Hollywood. Moreover, in every article mentioning Chaos Machine, it mentions the LGBTQ+ efforts of this person. A press release only ever reveals the most important information. The fact that her LGBTQ+ efforts have been mentioned in every single article means that this was not only in the press release but was high up in it as well because the information higher up in a press release is the most important one.

And about progressiveness: you cannot progress if you are not given the chances and space to do so. Being progressive is learning and unlearning. It is messing up constantly and trying to do better and educating yourself.

From the tidbits we've heard of Jensen, he genuinely seems like a nice guy. A little too nice towards jp if you ask me because he should have been facing consequences a long time ago but it is what it is because Jensen isn't the only one who is around jp's orbits so that responsibility shouldn't be solely placed on him (especially not since it seems like he no longer considers jp a friend)

Jensen has shown his willingness of learning and has altered his answers before after learning new information. People also seem to forget that he is shy. Like he might sing on stage and be an actor but he is a shy dude. He doesn't like solo panels, although he has clearly gotten a lot better at, but if you don't like solo panels, you also don't like due panels because the problem isn't being alone on stage, it's that he is shy and seems to get anxious.

Having to be perfect while being shy or anxious is literally an impossible situation. And I'm really fucking sick at all the Jensen-is-a-homophobe stuff.

When I got into this fandom, the Jensen-is-a-homophobe-stuff was so omnipresent, I genuinely thought for a second he was and it gave me just a ton of sadness. Not because I parasocialized with him but because I loved the show and I don't want homophobic actors play my favorite characters.

Jensen just can never catch a break. People are just lying in wait until he puts a toe out of the perfect mold and then the minefield they've layed around him explodes with the most vile stuff you can imagine. I'm sick of it. Also hilariously hypocritical how so many people are saying the most vile stuff about Ackles when a ton of them keep on following someone who is phobic against at least two queer identities within the LGBTQ+ community.

sorry this is so long, i kinda pop off when it comes to this subject lol.

[samwinchesterism]

Jared really gets under these minions skin 😂 honestly if my fav was misha and I had to watch Jared employed, being the main spn character, having Jensen move across the country to be beside him, have more fans, money, another job lined up, being adored by multiple people in the industry that aren't just spn cast, starting yana first etc. Its not Jareds fault that God blessed him with such luck and prosperity babes, he can't help that everyone around him seems to adore him.

ok i guess we’re doing actor drama today! full disclosure, when i came back to spin i wanted to focus less on the actors bc i’m a grownup now and despite being very in love with jared padalecki as a teenager i was like i will keep only a healthy distant respect and fondness for them, BUT after seeing my boy jared be so unfairly and constantly hated on in 2021 spn hell, i can’t help but be in his corner bc it’s so ridiculous and also maybe i’m in a parasocial relationship with him but it’s fine i’m allowed to have one!! but mainly, the way his every single move is scrutinized and interpreted in the most laughably dramatically bad ways is just not sitting right with me bc i just don’t think he’s a bad dude? lol

i honestly don’t even think it’s jealousy, i don’t know what’s going on sometimes lol. i think many of them have convinced themselves that he’s in fact a very bad person who deserves constant vilification (and yeah he’s done some stuff that i don’t necessarily endorse, but most of it is a long time ago and so have the other spn cast members lol and it’s not that deep? like, he’s hot, he’s on a show, i watch it, like, who gives a shit about any of this). anyway i think they think that because of his supposed evil, and because of this narrative that has persisted in the spn fandom for so long because of the reign of dean and destiel that jared is a lesser actor and less talented than jensen and misha, and less important or critical to the success of supernatural (or at least to its longevity), that he doesn’t deserve any “success” that he gets, if they choose to recognize it as success anyway. 

like back in my day, there was enough jared hate going around even back then, and there was a vibe among them that jared simply wouldn’t have a career post-supernatural because he was only being buoyed by the superior talent and higher popularity (in their minds) of jensen and/or misha and whomever, and wouldn’t succeed independently, so i think that narrative falling apart given that walker is quite successful hasn’t been easy for them to digest lol? i saw people legitimately thinking that his career was in trouble and i’m like babe, love him or hate him or don’t care for him, oppose or support his new show, he’s the #1 actor on the #1 show on his network currently, he’s not hurting at all at the moment lol. 

but yeah, he seems to be thriving all around and good for him, honestly lmao

and then the supernatural finale and jared’s comments on it (since nobody wanted to acknowledge jensen’s comments on it, which were also positive) really i think broke their minds lol. first of all, the finale being so deliciously sam-centric and reaffirming sam as THE main character was never gonna be something they would let slide (but GOD the vindication as a long-suffering sam stan!!! i’m still glowing about it!!!!), not with how much this fandom has hated and diminished and sidelined sam, and jared has always been a good scapegoat for their weird conspiracies, since they seem to think he’s the only actor not mistreated by the show or network 

and then jared talking about it... like, he just became a full villain for them at that point lmao, under the guise of “he doesn’t care that dean’s death was traumatic blah blah” (girl how is he supposed to know yall are doing this much over a fictional character) and “he contributes to the erasure of a Deaf character blah blah” for saying that sam shouldn’t have ended up with eileen (a super correct opinion, but that’s a whole separate post lol). so it’s all couched in spurious nonsense that has a cloak of false legitimacy, but i really wish they’d just admit it was about their wretched ship lol. it was always gonna be jared who was gonna be the scapegoat, and idk if this is controversial, but jared being much more widely hated than other cast members is linked to the spn fandom’s longtime marginalization of sam, b/c he, as sam’s actor specifically, was already someone they saw as unimportant and expendable to the show and their enjoyment of it, and many only pretended to care about him/his character so that they wouldn’t be the “bad guys” and would be able to declare themselves the arbiters of all things supernatural since they do care about sam and jared actually even though they diminished him constantly if not outright hated on them both!! so if the opportunity presented itself, they’d be much more willing to throw him under the bus than the other two 

like all this to say, i guess you can hate him all you like, i can’t stop you even if i was inclined to, but like, it’s just a bit much at this point like it’s just wild out here, man 

[secretly-a-nerd]

Destiel is bad for mlm. An essay with comebacks.

CLARIFICATIONS BEFORE I START: DESTIEL FANS DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS OF COURSE!!! Btw, I am mlm, I have a loving boyfriend who acts like Castiel while I act like Sam a lot... so yeah, I'm a Sastiel shipper so this post may come off as a little biased but I want to help other shippers who are against Destiel.  So if you're not a Sastiel shipper, still, don't leave- I'm not forcing you to ship it. That's wrong to force someone to ship. I'm also anti-Dean person.  In this post, there will be spoilers for Supernatural.

Ight let's put this show on the road... first off...

WHY DESTIEL IS BAD: -Yes, the ship is mlm and if canon, will be a mlm ship... but it’s bad rep. Why? Because if you want good representation, you gotta have a good relationship and not be queerbait for about 12 years. Dean literally beat Castiel up multiple times (even without the Mark of Cain). Let me ask you this fellas in a relationship... do you beat your partner? Bark commands at them 24/7? See them as a monster at times? I don’t think so.

-Stepping away from the ship itself, the fans are toxic and normally straight cis women who think they know what’s good for mlm or fetishizes mlm. (However, I’m not saying everyone who ships Destiel is straight and a cis woman) Also, the Destiel shippers will often times force others to ship that ship with them.

-What is mlm fetishization? People who solely love mlm ships- they barely have any wlw ships or straight ships. Just... mlm... or forces two males together, even if they are straight. They are or the equvialent of asking a gay male to be their 'gay friend'. That is very toxic. Destielhellers... get a new hobby, something healthier than reading/watching sexual assault, emotional abuse, and physical abuse.

COMEBACKS:

-When Castiel raised Dean from hell, he didn’t do it because “he loves Dean!” It was because Castiel is a soldier, a perfect soldier too, created by God to obey orders without question. When Castiel was first introduced to the show, he didn’t understand human emotions nor actually feel them so how could he quickly love Dean? Castiel also raised from Sam from hell.

-“#Theysilencedyou” on Instagram... the CW didn’t silence you, no one did. It was never canon in the first place. If Destiel was canon in the first place and Dean says “I love you too” OUT LOUD to Castiel, then killing Castiel off and NOT GIVING Dean a happy ending would be a “they silenced you” moment. But did that really happen? No. In the end, Castiel and Dean got a happy ending, just not together. And WOAH WOAH WOAH DON'T PULL CHARLIE INTO THIS. The show does a good job of giving her a lot of screentime about her sexuality and whatnot. She got a girlfriend multiple times. Her first death... she died in a Joan of Arc kind of way too which is awesome to me- but that's not the point with Charlie. She didn't come back in the finale because of covid and it's heavily hinted that everyone in the alternative universe place did go to heaven. I bet you anything she's in heaven right now.

-Castiel’s last words were the words he said in 15x18. He was dying. The empty was getting him. Those were his dying words, if he had said those while not dying, I would understand “they silenced you” there too. But Castiel didn’t say it while NOT dying, right? Also, there are different types of meanings behind "I love you" such as the friendship kind, which I say "I love you" to a lot of my friends, there's the family kind, and yes, there's the lover kind. Castiel most likely meant it in a family way since he said- same with Dean- that the Winchester brothers were like family to him.

-The CW writers aren’t homophobic. Here’s a list of the lgbtq+ characters from their other shows:

-Sara Lance (Arrow) -Alex Danvers (Supergirl) -Clarke Griffin (The 100) -Nyssa Raatko (Arrow) -David Singh (The Flash) -Anissa Pierce (Black Lightning) -Toni Topaz (Riverdale) -Teddy Montgomery (90210) AND MORE.

Granted, there aren't many gay men in that list. That's because they haven't found an actor who would feel comfortable playing a gay man... toxic masculinity happens guys... Reminds you of a certain character in Supernatural?

-“Kill Sam/Jared!” Sadly, I’ve seen that comment. Firstly, if you kill Jared... that’s literal murder and... dude that’s so extremist... you shouldn’t wish death upon anybody. Secondly, Sam is a main character in the show. He’s Dean’s brother. If Dean was left alone with Castiel, it still wouldn’t happen. Why? Because like we saw in the finale (15x20), Sam was mourning after Dean and it left him to FOREVER remember his brother. Dean would be the same if Sam were to die and go to heaven. Dean’s and Sam’s brotherly relationship is the glue that keeps it all together in the show. One brother is very rarely without the other in screentime.

-“Sam is Destiel’s number one cheerleader!” Okay, no, I get where they get it from... the episode, Fan Fiction (10x5). But Sam was messing with Dean because he knew how squirmy he’d get. Dean sees Castiel as a brother... and imagine being shipped with your friend that you see as family. Horrible, right? because it’s getting rid of the aspects of your relationship? Sam even shipped himself with Castiel in one of the scenes. So how would that make him a cheerleader of Destiel?

-Destiel fans admitted to being queerbaited, which is bad and can lead to other shows in the future doing that. I’m gonna add the definition of queerbaiting: "a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation." -from Wikipedia. I'm sorry but there was little queerbaiting with Destiel... because Dean would CONSTANTLY be a jerk to Castiel then we'd have like... one scene where Dean wasn't a jerk to Castiel in the episode, then never see a scene where Dean was kind to Castiel until two episodes later.

-"Dean isn’t straight!!!" Yuh he is straight, have you seen him with a man? Let alone, feel comfortable with one romantically? I'll type up all of the episodes in which he was passively homophobic later on... AND don’t push Sam into this saying some stupid stuff like “he’s homophobic!”

-“Jensen is homophobic!” I actually used to believe this until I woke up and did some research on that. How that started was by Dean, the character Jensen plays, not saying "I love you" back to Castiel/Misha. They're practically forcing the ship to happen. Jensen was just following the script, same with Misha. They're under a contract guys, they don't have much say in it. However, there have been some rumors saying Jensen is homophobic even before 15x18. I cannot confirm this but I've heard that Jensen did decline a fan's request to hold a pride flag... but there's not much context behind it because the fan themself could of been weird and creepy and harassing Jensen, or forcing Jensen to say Dean is something so he needs to hold up that pride flag. Or... yes, Jensen was lowkey being homophobic...

-Destiel fans are signing stuff to change the ending... like??? That won’t work. The cast's contract with CW is done. Also, this like the equivalent of Trump’s “STOP THE COUNT!!” and “I won the election!!!”.... changing stuff to make people believe you are right. That's hella manipulative. -[Insert that one shot of all of the crew together at the end of 15x20.] Destiel fan: "WHY WASN'T CASTIEL THERE?!! WITH DEAN IN HEAVEN?!?!!?!?!" Okay, firstly, Jack wasn't there too and he's now God, covid happens and the writers really wanted Bobby's actor to be there ((I forgot why, I'll add it in later!!! BUT THERE'S A REASON)). Mary and John Winchester could of been in that finale... there are so many characters that could of been in that finale guys, but COVID-19 happened. The lack of characters was for the actors' safety. I don't know about you but some show isn't more important than my own safety. Besides, the contract is about to be lifted, and they had other shows to act in.... Jared with Walker... Jensen with The Boys...

-"How is Destiel bad for mlm...? It's gay ship..." I already answered that question, but I just wanted to remind you guys that Destiel fans WILL ask this. But I'll sum it up for you guys: it's fetishization because you're pairing up a toxic man who sees that other person as another brother/best friend. Also, that 'toxic man' isn't bisexual. He always has been with females and makes lowkey homophobic remarks. On top of that, Dean has beaten Castiel up sooooo many times, both physically and mentally. ***This essay is a WIP... and I take constructive criticism. However, if you are a Destiel fan and write about this, I will ignore you.

[coplins]

(1/3) Thanks for responding. I totally see the queerbaiting/kill your gays criticism - it's clear from Misha's comments after the fact that he really thought he was doing something supportive and didn't get how it was the opposite. I wasn't upset with ignoring Eileen because that whole plot was so badly written, and I didn't mind blurry wife because that was a story they'd never have time to tell, so leaving it to be your choice of wife/co-parent (Jared's words) worked for me.

(2/3) I don't see Dean's lack of reciprocation as a problem because Jensen and the showrunners have continuously said that is not their intent in writing/acting that character, so anything folks read into it is subtext. Again, Misha thought it would be better rep than it was. It was a bad call. John isn't canonically a child abuser, just a lousy parent. Both Dean and Sam have done so many crappy things as well that honestly, they shouldn't be there by that metric either. 3/4) But I don't think the finale (awkwardly written as it was) cancels out their character development at all. They are different people - back at the starting point, but not the men they were when they started. Dean is emotionally open; he's dropped acting tough and can talk about his emotions. He can be alone and be okay. Sam is no longer afraid of his blood or turning into John; he can be a good dad. I wish we'd seen Jack and Cas, or heard them at least wish them well, even just a prayer. (4/4) But even though that was crappy to leave out, I don't think it negates the show or the characters. 19 added Cas and Jack's names to the table, and I can be happy with that as the final episode. I was prepared to pretend it didn't exist before it even aired. I AM really glad you're anti-harassment. The shit that even folks like Kripke have been getting on their pages has made me so sad. Dabb posted something about baboons and folks even thought it was about them, not his new show! (Also, sorry to dump like a huge text thing in your inbox. It's totally fine that we disagree on things. I've just seen so many crazy things like people blaming Jared and saying the episode was an ad for Walker and to boycott Walker - a ton of Jared hate in general, really. Or saying Jensen "Destiel Isn't Real" Ackles is secretly a heller who's been viciously silenced by the powers that be for years. And now Misha's getting dogpiled for trying to interact and understand how he fucked up.)

It's fine, Nonnie. :)

Okay, so, just to make one thing clear. If you enjoyed the finale, then I think it's great. For everyone who didn't get their joy sucked out of them, that's awesome! I got to see the Wincest side of my Tumblr dash go apeshit from happiness and I'm happy for them. I've since had to unfollow some of those blogs when they turned bitter and hateful towards those of us who didn't like the ending. I curate my Tumblr (internet in general) experience to avoid seeing hate thrown at ships, actors, characters, fans, or people in general. I unfollow people if they post too much toxic stuff no matter if they're Destiel shippers, angel fans, or whatever part of fandom they're in.

I try not to reblog too much angry/bitter crap either. There are a lot of posts on my dash that I wholeheartedly agree with but don't belong on my blog. And I've written my share of wank and rants over the years but seldom hit post because I don't want to ruin someone else's positivity. When I do hit post I tag it "spn wank" so it can be avoided. If I need to angry-rant I do so in chat. Sometimes I mess up. There are undoubtedly some less than nice posts in the Buckleming wank category on my blog.

Generally speaking, my M.O. is disengaging and/or vote with my wallet. I will never condone cyberbullying. No matter how famous the person, or how nasty they are, harassment isn't okay. Actions have consequences and I try to think of what they are before I act. If I vent hurtful opinions about an actor, it'll be kept in chat, with someone who understands that particular frustration. (Not related to the current situation.)

When it comes to canon, it doesn't matter what showrunners or actors tell us about how it's meant to be interpreted or how they meant to act it. Canon is what's shown on screen, period. As curious as I am about what the actors have to say about things, it isn't important regarding canon at all. I'll stan my boys no matter what their characters get up to on-screen. <3

Yeah, I've seen the theories and the dogpiling. Luckily, I've avoided seeing the Jared hate but I knew it would be there because the internet is a cesspool of people lashing out aimlessly or misdirecting their anger. Even IF they wrote the finale in a way that they thought would put a spotlight on Jared's upcoming series, HE was nowhere near a position of power to make that decision and should be left out of it. I just figured, if it was true that that's what they thought, then the Wincest bunch was their target audience for the new show. *shrug*

Interesting to hear your take on the finale. If I follow people who have your take, they're not vocal about it, or I'm simply missing it because I don't stalk Tumblr. All it takes for me to stop scrolling and go back to my writing is 3 unknown anime posts in a row or one reader-insert fic and I'm nope-ing the hell out of here. X)

I'm not going to argue against any of your points. It's great that you saw it that way. Fuck, I wish I did too.

I kinda feel like I need to address the child abuse comment I made, though. Some separate neglect and abuse like those aren't the same, some only count physical abuse, others include verbal abuse. Too many of my loved ones (both close friends and family) have experienced all three of those categories and the one who was left alone to care for her little sister as a child, definitely has a lot of mental scarring from it, so I'm counting neglect as abuse. That said, I fucking love John Winchester. So it might be Jeffrey Dean Morgan's charisma, so sue me. But John canonically neglected the hell out of his sons. We got proof of that even in this season when John drops his son off for days in a town where kids have gone missing recently. So, yeah... But, on the other hand, of course both he and Mary should end up in Heaven. Like, that wasn't even a question.

I think my strong reaction against it was how every part of the found family the Winchesters had gathered over the years was erased from the narrative as soon as Dean died. The only one who is shown as important is Bobby, a found-family member that initially was connected with John, not someone the brothers had found and connected with on their own. Bobby is also the only non-Winchester in the photos Sam has over his bed when he's dying. I don't know, man, "Everyone's here," simply doesn't do it for me.

"Family ends with blood" like the finale implied, only works if the greatest monsters in life haven't been family members, and my best friends (twins) growing up, just like my mother, were abused, mentally, physically, and sexually, by parents. I've seen the aftermath of those hellfires, how long it takes to assemble the fractures of your being and become, if not whole, at least functional and happy. For them, it was the friends they made along the way, those who loved them when they couldn't, who really mattered.

And that was one thing I really loved about SPN (and still do). Team Free Will. Wayward Sisters. All the people that they met along the way and connected with. I've loved to see Sam and Dean develop their bond by taking it from unhealthy, destructive co-dependency to step by step with several setbacks become their own individuals with lives outside of each other, yet still having the strong bond full of brotherly feels where the love they had for each other was rooted in respect for each other's differences and not who they "were supposed to be for each other". And unlike you, I can't see anything but regression in how the finale played out.

Okay, I gotta stop talking now. ^^ I have one scene my betas told me I need to rewrite in my next chapter, and another chapter half done, and I'm itching to post so I need to get on with it.

I hope I didn't put too much of a dampener on your enjoyment of the finale. My opinions don't matter. We all come from different life experiences and therefore find different things compelling and important. I don't begrudge anyone their happiness. <3

*Hugs*

[go-diane-winchester]

Why I stopped liking Misha after eight years.

I loved all the guys at one point.  I don't stan anyone.  Some people may think I am crazy about J2 only.  Well, yeah.  I loved everyone, once upon a time, until they gave me a reason to hate them.  Now only the Js are left and despite being flawed [like every human being on earth] they are still decent human beings.  They are not manipulators or provocateurs.  They are just flawed.  So my admiration has gone back to season 1 to 3, when it was just J2 and they were enough.  With some side order of John.  I like all the Winchester boys, but not blindly.  Even if one of my boys do something wrong, I will acknowledge it.  I wont ignore it, or make excuses for it.  Nor will I dog him down for it.  Unless he is a repeat offender, like Misha.  Misha is not one of my boys.  He is barely a man.   

Before I started to really hate Misha, I had a soft spot for him.  I didn't ship him.  I don't ship.  I mix and match according to my mood.  That is how classic slashers used to do it.  Because pinning your happiness on one ship, when the are a bevy of beauties out there, is a silly thing to do.  I was going to write an epic story for Jared and Matt, where Misha was going to play a pivotal role as Matt's brother because I always felt Matt and Misha had similar fraternal features.  It was going to be an epic.  I was also going to do a suspense-ish story with Jared and Misha, where the epilogue was going to be Misha brutally killing an old woman, but he was the hero of the story.  That story was actually close to my heart.  Unfortunately I got sick, and didn't write anything for years, which is a good thing because I would have regretted wasting such a nice story on that leech. 

I was going to write a Cockles story about two years ago, with Jared, JDM, Gil McKinney and Tahmoh playing supporting roles.  I am meh! about destiel, but never begrudged others who liked it.  Hey, different strokes right?  Its all fantasy anyway.  Or so I thought.   I heard some canon talk on YouTube, here and there, and thought that ''this girl doesn't understand slash''.  How was I to know the majority of them don't understand slash.  Then the hellers started to really misbehave in YouTube comment sections, on Twitter and at cons.  You had to blind not to notice it.  And I was shocked.  I said, ''I wish I could meet Misha.  I will tell him about these fans.  They are giving him such a horrible name.''  I liked him and thought he would make everything better.  How stupid I was. 

Then I realized that everyone else is a either a jerk or leeching off J2's fame.  I realized that Speight was a Trump supporter and that put me off.  Misha blurted it out on a panel and Richard looked angry about it.  Its the first and last time I appreciated Misha having a big mouth.  At that time though, I still liked Misha.  I realized Matt was following a heller on SM, who was bashing Jared continuously, so he can get lost.  Osric was nice and I paired him with Jared mostly, because the big and small thing does something to me.  Sevin was my jam.  This was my honest thoughts when I encountered Kevin zig-zagging and outrunning Sam "Oh, let this cutie be Sam's pairing.  Poor Sammy is so left out because of destiel.  At least now he will have his own stinking cute pairing''.  Not even knowing how I was going to come to regret supporting destiel.  

I felt sorry for Misha, because he was poor and lived on handouts.  I remember him saying that Random Acts was inspired by a woman who bought gifts for him, his brother and mom on Christmas Eve when he was very little.  I felt sad that he cut himself, because he was a bullied teen.  I was furious when he got mugged.  I wanted those pigs caught.  ''Ok, fine, steal his stuff, but there was no need to hit him''.  In other words, I believed everything he said.  I was a sucker.  And I was livid when I realized that he played me and all his other fans. 

The first thing he did, which I didn't like, was bashing the Bible.  I am a Muslim and found that very offensive.  That made me think back on that lady who showed him kindness as a child.  Why would he bash her beliefs when she was so nice to him?  But I thought, first time offence, and let it go.  Then I realized that he was too provocative on stage.  Whether it was swearing or talking abut sex, he didn't care whether children were in the room or not.  I am fairly sure he curbed his language when West was on stage with him.  I cant remember though.  When it came to slash, I was always baffled at why he was talking about it at cons.  As far as I knew, slash-related questions were banned.  Later I realized it was because he was breaking the rules, which was essentially making Jensen look bad. 

Once there was a heartfelt complaint from a minion that fans were asking Misha very sexual questions in a panel.  I was angry.  Why are fans being vulgar with an actor?  He's not your boyfriend.  Later, when I checked for myself, I realized he was being provocative too.  He also made some blasphemous remarks.  Later he complained to one of the handlers ''I didn't know where to draw the line''.  I forced myself to give him the benefit of the doubt even though, that incident stayed with me for all these years.  So he creates the environment that he is complaining about, to make himself look like a victim.  Well sow it and reap it, hypocrite. 

Jaxcon 2017 is where I started to pay attention to Misha and his hellers, and Jibcon was where my mind are fairly made up.  It was only when I looked into Travis Aaron Wade's case that I fully made up my mind, that Misha might be a shadier character than I thought.  Misha has said some very scandalous things about Jensen and Dean followed by ''oh, I am going to get a phone call about this.  I just know it''.  If you have been told not to do something, then why do it?  It was Jensen's death threat that made me really hate this guy.  When I first heard about it, I thought, ''Misha is going to give them a stiff kick for threatening Jensen''.  Months went by.  When Misha kept on pandering and pandering despite the abuse online, that is when I realized that this man is a manipulative, heartless creep who only thinks about himself.  I regret my Misha admiration and I feel a little ashamed that he suckered me.     

Edit:

A reader added this and it thoroughly surprised me:

Agreed on all, but one point I think is off and I’m almost certain I’ve heard that Mishas kids actually swear and he’s ok with it; jokes about it in his panels. I saw a clip once where J2 and MC are on stage and he talked about it and J2’s reactions were almost comical.

If anyone knows which panel that was, please let m know.  I want to see J2's reactions.  And what Misha said. 

[askforimagineoroneshot]

Love on the set (Richard Speight jr. x Reader)

deliciouspeanutstudent said: HI can you write SPN imagine? With actor Richard Speight jr where the reader is a young and beautiful actress. They fall in love on set but he has self-confidence and she thinks she is not enough. Other actors know and are trying to make them confess their love? Thanks. Love you

No warnings. Sorry for mistakes, English is not my first language.

*gifs are not mine. Imagine is!!*

Fluff.

MASTERLIST 

Reader's pov

I was driving to the set of supernatural. We started filming of season 14. As a member of the cast but also of production I had a lot of responsibilities. I had coffee for Richard and Rob. I was almost there when my phone ring. 

“Oh, come on!” I laughed for my self. I wasn't mad or something. 

I press a screen next to the wheel. “Yes,” I asked. 

“Hi, this is Jared are you at work already?” I heard my friend throw the radio in my car. 

“No, I am not. Why?” I kept asking. 

“I have a problem with my car. Could you pick me up? If not I will find away.” I didn't let him finish. 

“I am on my way. Wait a moment.” I turned the car around. 

“You're an angel.” I heart him smile. 

“Yeah sure. I will be there in a minute. Wait at your house.” 

Richard's point of view

“Do you know where is Y/N? She is late.” I asked Rob. 

We were standing by the printer. We needed some stuff before we start filming scenes of season 14. 

“No. I didn't speak to her since the last time we worked on the script. That was last week I think.” Rob answered.

I took my phone out of the pocket of my jeans. I looked for a message from her or call. This is not something she would do. She is never late. Always soon. 

“You already worry about her?” Rob started. 

When I looked at him he was smiling. I knew where is he going. 

“What? Something could happen.” I tried to keep the conversation away from where it was going. 

“Or maybe you are just jealous. No?” He was looking through my eyes into my soul. 

I Couldn't hide it. Not in front of him. He was closest to me. He really knew me. 

“I, well, maybe I just worry about her way too much.” I put my phone away and took papers out of the printer. 

“Or you should just tell her what do you feel for her.” I heard him behind me. 

I started walking to set. I didn't look at him. 

“Why? So I can lose my friend. No thank you.” I walked outside to met our team. 

“Why lose her? What if she feels the same way.” he almost runs to me. He made me laugh. 

“Look at her and then at me. Can't you see.” Now I was desperate. “She is full of life. Everyone loves her. And way not to?”

I turned to face him. I wasn't whispering but not shouting anyway. I didn't wanted to somebody hear us. 

“That is why you need her. She makes you live again.” he put his hand on my shoulder. “After your life in marriage, you forgot what it means.” 

“Yeah, well.” I wanted to continue but Y/N's car pulls over. 

“Hi, guys.” She smiled at us. I got her bag out of the car and went over to us. “I got you coffee but someone's car broke.” She gives us what she brought us. 

“Hi Angel, thanks,” I said. 

“Hi.” Rob smiled as well. “You didn't have to,” he said when she gave him coffee. 

“Well I wanted to.” that was all she said. 

“Hi, guys. Sorry for running late. Car broke.” Jared appeared behind her. 

“Yeah, we heard.” I simply said. I kept looking at Y/N. She was smaller than me. Her Y/E/C was bright and big. Smile make my knees go weak. 

“I think Jensen was looking for you, Jared.” Rob makes wake up from steering at her. 

“Thanks.” Jared disappears as quickly as he showed up. 

“Let's get to it.” She said and I gave her her script to her role as Winchester sister. 

Evening - same day

Reader's point of view

The room was filled with laughter. I loved moments like this. I felt wanted, loved, I felt like I belong somewhere. 

“Y/N what do you think?” Jensen laugh. 

My head snapped up. I didn't really listen to them.

“What?” I asked. I felt the blood rushing to my face.  

“She is not even listening.” Jared laughs and I joined him. 

“There is Castiel and Dean's ship, and What I think there should be Gabriel and Sam shit. What do you think.” 

Everybody was waiting for my answer. It was weird. 

“I agree.” I smiled. “Jader is the number one fan of Destiel. I am the number one fan of Sabriel.” 

Then everybody lost it. I was so happy. I make them laugh for the rest of my life if I can and they will let me. 

“I am ready to create that just for you,” Richard said to me. 

I got up and hugged him.”Thank you.” I smiled. I love the way he smelled. I love him.

Since the day I met him. He went through a lot. Rob told me about his wife. He was just divorcing. I told him I am here for him anytime he needs me. He knew it. He was the most important person in my life. 

“I am (your character and Gabriel) number one fan.” Rob started. 

I didn't know what to do. I was embarrassed. Not because of Richard. I didn't know Rob knew about my feelings for him. I didn't expect to tell it in front of everyone. 

I looked up in his face since I was smaller. He was not happy. Shit. I looked at his friend like he was about to kill him in the spot. 

Misha tried to play it off but the mood was killed. 

I took a step away from Rich and looked around the room. Jared was looking at me. I know what he knew. As my best friend. He told me in the car to speak about my feelings. But I couldn't. I am not brave enough. 

“I think I had enough today.” Jensen started. “I go to bed. You guys enjoy your time without me.” He got up and said his goodbyes. 

“Well, I am gonna head off to. I am tired.” I smiled at everyone. 

Richard looked sad for a moment. I was so confused. Did he like me as a sister or more? 

“Goodnight.” I went to my trailer. 

Richard's point of view

“You ruined it.” Jared laughs at Rob. “Didn't you see them? They were cuddling.” 

“So you told him.” 

Now I was really angry. I didn't expect him to act like this in front of Y/N or tell anyone what I felt for her. 

“He didn't have to. Everyone sees it.” I smiled at me. 

“Well.” I took my jacket from a chair. I wanted to close myself into an empty room and never come out of it. 

“Goodnight, boys,” I said and went off. 

“Wait,” Rob screams at me outside. 

I ran to me but I kept going. I didn't have a mood for this. 

“I didn't mean to do it to make you guys uncomfortable. I just wanted to make you make a move on her. I am sorry.” he makes me stop and look at him. 

“I know but it is just no meant.” I smiled and hugged him. “See you tomorrow.” 

I went to my trailer and saw her there. I didn't know what to do. What to say. I just kept looking at her. 

“Hi.” She said. 

She was sitting at my stairs. “Care to join me?” She smiled at me. 

“Join you?” I didn't get it first. 

She offered me her hand and I took her. She makes me sit next to her. I could smell her hair. I had to hold my self. I wanted to hug her. 

“Look at the stars.” She looked up. 

I repeated after her. She was right. The night sky was beautiful. Not as she is. But still. 

“I wish things are easy and people love each other..” She said when she saw a star fall from the sky. 

“Well said.” I agreed. 

“You must think I am crazy.” She looked at me. I could saw tears in her eyes. It broke my heart to see her like this. 

“Of course I don't. Never say something like this.” I took her in my arms and she let me. 

She needed a hug? I am always here. 

“Who told you that?” I asked her. 

“Noone.” She looked me in the eyes. “I.” She confessed. 

“Why?” I didn't understand. 

“I don't know. My mind doesn't make sense.” She put her face on my neck. 

Thank Chuck there was dark. I was blushing like an idiot at hight school. 

“It doesn't have to make sense to be beautiful,” I said. I tried to look in far so I don't make her feel uncomfortable. 

“You are an amazing person, you know that right.” I could feel her small hands on my back. She was trying to get closer to me. Maybe she was cold. 

I reached for my jacket to put it on her but she took me by surprise. She pulled away and looked me deep in the eyes. And then it happened. She put a hand on my neck and kissed me. Her soft lips were on mine. 

I kissed her back. I had to. It was instinct. 

“I am sorry,” I said when we pulled apart. 

“Don't be.” She was still looking in my eyes. She was so close to me. “I wanted to do that since I meet you.” 

Her confession makes me smile. “Really?” I didn't believe it. 

“Why are you so surprised?” She asked. 

“Well.” I wanted to be honest with her. “Look at you and then at me. I am getting old. I am not like Jared or Jensen.” I put her hair away from her face. 

“You are not like then, but that is why I want you. Maybe I am stupid but.” I didn't let her finish. 

“You are not stupid. You are far from that. You deserve the world and I am afraid I can't give one to you.” 

“You still don't get it, do you? You are my world.” She smiled. 

I couldn't hold myself anymore. I took her lips with mine again.

[katymacsupernatural]

Whiskey River Chapter 2

Dean Winchester x Reader

1500 Words

Story Summary: 

Catch Up Here: Prologue, Chapter 1

Warnings: Mentions of torture, some dark themes, getting to the good stuff now!

The torturing of Dean went on for days. Sometimes it was just the two of you, his emerald eyes void of any emotion as he stared your way. Many of the times you had your eyes closed, not wanting to see the talented hunter torn down a peg.

Each and every night Alistair would greet you as you left, smiling gleefully at the blood covering you and your torture devices. Making you tell him every little detail, clapping his hands together with the news.

“I think you have broken the famous hunter,” he exclaimed. “Soon, he will become the torturer beside you.”

A part of you hoped that wasn’t the case. You wanted him to resist no matter what you did to him. You wanted him to fight, to show you that steel backbone you knew he had.

Walking past Alistair, you made your way to your tiny little room, knowing that tomorrow would be exactly the same as today.

With the smell of sulfur stronger than ever, you made your way down the hallway. Things seemed more frantic than normal, screams louder against your ears. “There’s something in the air,” one of the Demons muttered as he walked past, and you had to agree. Something was going to happen today, but you weren’t sure what.

Alistair was nowhere to be seen, and you were relieved. Taking the blade from the stand, you quietly walked into Dean’s torture chamber. He was already hanging on the rack, dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders slumped. “Hello Dean,” you spoke, the blade hanging heavily in your hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Like you care,” he mumbled, never looking up.

“Dean…,” you started, not sure what you wanted to say. You were a Demon. You should be laughing in his face, ready to stick the knife through his blades, feeling the warmth of his blood against your fingers. But there was something about him that had you hesitating.

“Dean, I know you don’t trust me. And I don’t blame you. I’ve tortured you, every way I could think of. But that’s because I have no other choice,” you tried telling him.

He finally looked up, his emerald eyes rimmed in red, full of distrust and hatred. “I call bullshit. You always have a choice.”

You continued on as if you hadn’t heard him in the first place. “There’s something different with today. I don’t know what, but we can all feel it. Do you feel it?”

“Yes,” he answered, dropping his head back down. “I have no idea what it means.”

“I think it has something to do with you,” you admitted, laying the blade down on the ground before gently grasping his chin and tilting his head up. At first he fought your touch, trying to pull away. But when you made no move to hurt him, he stilled, his eyes searching your face. “I think there’s some powerful being that is mad that you’re down here.”

“I don’t know anyone powerful,” he grumbled.

“But you do have a reputation,” you insisted.

“So what if they’re coming? You know, and you’ll stop them before they get very far.”

“What if I don't?” You thought out loud. “What if I make sure they can make it through to you?”

“Why would you do that? You’ve tortured me every day. You’ve used my Dad and my Brother against me. This is just another trick of yours, and I’m not going to fall for it. So pick up that blade, and do your worst.”

“No, I don’t think so,” you told him. “Alistair’s gone, and he’s been the one ordering me. Today we will watch. And wait. For what, I do not know. But something big is going to happen.”

Leaving the blade on the ground in front of Dean, you went back towards the door. The air current was so thick it almost crackled with electricity. The brimstone and sulfur burnt at your nose. Souls screamed for forgiveness, to be saved, even louder than normal. Demons ran back and forth, lost and confused. Nothing was like normal, and even you felt the pull of chaos.

Suddenly the lights vanished. Pitch Black filled your vision as screams picked up even louder than before. Your eyes struggling to get used to the light, you could hear other Demons muttering about, before that was gone, much like the lights.

Knowing your prediction had come true, you shut the door, turning back to Dean. Only his outline was seen, his head up as he struggled against his chains.

“Dean, they’re here,” you told him, searching the room for something to break him free of his chains. Sure, releasing him would mean your life, but you couldn’t help yourself. Dean Winchester needed saved to go on and do better things, and you would die happy knowing you had a part in that. “We need to get you freed!”

“Why? Why are you helping me?” He asked, stilling as you came closer.

“Because you don’t belong here. You belong topside, where you can save people from monsters like me.”

Picking up the blade, you smashed the heavy handle against the shackles, wishing that you had stolen the key from Alistair. With your Demon strength, it took only a couple of minutes before the lock cracked under the pressure, and Dean was free. By this time the entire building shook, the screams eerily quiet.

Dean was weak, almost falling out of the shackles and into your arms. Holding him up, you slowly made your way to the door, the sound of rustling wings heard outside. “Y/N, you’re a Demon,” Dean started, his words no doubt meant to hurt. “Whatever is out there to save me will no doubt kill you.”

“I don’t care,” you insisted. “Dean, I’ve lived a long time. I’ve tortured a lot of souls. I will die happy knowing that I finally did something good.”

“You are different than the Demons I have met,” he stated. “I hate to think of you dying because of me.”

“I can put you back on the rack,” you sassed at him, knowing that time was growing short.

“No!”

“Then let’s get you out of here.” With him finally able to stand on his own, you opened the door. Peering outside you saw bright glowing eyes right in front of you. Much taller than you, their wings spread, they were a sight to behold, even in the dark.

“Demon,” one spat, his voice rough and deep. “Meet your death.”

“As long as Dean will be safe,” you pleaded, stepping to the side to show Dean free from the rack.

“A Demon worried about a soul?” The strange winged creature muttered, turning to his friends. His eyes were an icy blue, bright in the dark.

“Worried about this soul,” you corrected him. “He needs to be free. Topside where he can save people.”

Moving faster than light, one of the creatures had you pressed against them, a cold blade pressed against your neck. “Don’t!” Dean exclaimed as the blue eyed one held him up. “She helped me!”

“She tortured you!” They argued.

“True, but she also knew you were coming. She released me. I think we should do the same for her,” Dean argued.

You could see the creatures considering his request, the blade still tight against your neck. “Angels don’t usually offer plea bargains to lowly Demons,” he muttered. “But because you asked, we will. This once!”

“I can show you the way out,” you tried as the blade slowly moved away from your neck.

“Lead the way. Any funny business, and you will be dead before you blink.”

Shakily, you turned down the hallway, taking them to the seldom used tunnel in the back. It led out to one of Hell’s gates, one long forgotten. They could escape that way, and you could as well. Because there was no way you would go back to face the wrath of Alistair.

“How far?” The blue eyed Angel asked you, making sure to keep Dean behind him.

“Not much farther. This exit isn’t used much,” you explained. Rounding the corner, you came to it. Nothing more than a sliver in the wall, barely big enough for you to squeeze through. But it was freedom, and that’s what you needed more than anything right now. “There it is. You still have to fight to go topside, but you’ll be out of Hell.”

Reaching behind him, the Angel placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean cried out in pain as the Angel floated through, Dean in his grasp. The others followed suit, and as soon as they were gone, the lights came back on. Demons yelled throughout the hallway, and if you didn’t vanish now, you never would be able to.

Jumping through the sliver. You closed your eyes, feeling yourself falling. Time seemed to freeze, and you had no idea how long you had been falling before you landed on your rump. “Where am I?” You asked. Surrounded by trees, the sun beat down on you. It had been decades since you had been topside, and you wondered what had changed while you had been gone. Knowing you had no choice, you began walking, looking for some sort of landmark. All the time wondering what the Angels had planned for Dean.

Dean/Jensen Tags: @acreativelydifferentlove @adoptdontshoppets @a-girl-who-loves-disney @akshi8278 @anokhi07  @biawol @bebravekeeponfighting  @brindz30 @colette2537 @crusadedean @dean-winchesters-bacon  @haelyn @ikeneasul11 @imascio08 @its-not-a-tulpa @just-another-winchester @keikoraventeller @lauren-novak @librarygeekery @mlovesstories @msimpala67  @michirutenshi @pisces-cutie @ria132love @ruprecht0420 @sassymoose07 @shadowhunter7 @sizzlingbearpolice @sleep-silent-angel @sortaathief @superseejay721517 @thegrungequeer @thewinchestergirl1208 @torn-and-frayed @wonderfulworldofwinchester

Whiskey River Tags: @earthtokace @wolfhardsxbbg @newtospnfandom

Forever Tags(CLOSED): @16wiishes  @alexwinchester23 @algud @amanda-teaches @andkatiethings @andreaaalove @angelsandwinchesters @anspgene @artisticpoet @atc74 @be-amaziing @bemyqueenofdarkness @bohowitch @buckysmetalgoddamnarm @bumber-car-s @brooke-supernatural16  @brunettechick @camelotandastronauts @captainradicalpassion @chelsea072498 @clairese1980 @darthdeziewok @destiels-new-girl  @dont-you-dare-say-misha @dslocum89  @docharleythegeekqueen @emmazach @emilicious-7 @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008  @esoltis280 @essie1876 @generalgoldfishldrm @goldenolaf25 @growningupgeek  @heyitscam99 @highfunctioning-soiciopath @hms-fangirl @hobby27 @horsegirly99 @ichooseeternalplaces @imboredsueme @internationalmusicteacher @ithinkimadorable-67 @iwriteaboutdean  @jayankles @jensen-gal @just-another-busy-fangirl @justsomerandomarchangel @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @keelzy2 @leanbeankeane @lifelovelaughangell123 @li-ssu @littleblue5mcdork  @lowlyapprentice @luciferslucille @maui137 @mellowlandrunaway @mogaruke @nanie5 @natashacamillaus @newtospnfandom  @offbeatwriting @percussiongirl2017 @pilaxia @pizzarollpatrol @plaid-lover-bay25 @roonyxx @ronja-uebrick @rosegoldquintis @roxyspearing @samanddeanmyheroes @sandlee44 @shamelesslydean @sillesworldofwriting @sgarrett49 @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @smoothdogsgirl @spnbaby-67 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spnwoman @sunskittlex @starry-chaos @superbadassnatural @thebikiniinspector @theflameontheinside @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @tina8009 @totallovelesson @tunadean @vvinch3st3r @walkslikesummeractslikerain @whimsicalrobots @wildlandfox @winchesterbrothers-inc @winchesterxtwo @winchester-writes @worldwidehansum @yourvoiceislikearose @zombiewerewolfqueen

[found--family]

Possessed!Dean, s13 finale?

This awesome Q+A about what might happen with Dean at the end of s13 is amazing. Go read it, get your speculative juices flowing. 

I wanted to share a few thoughts on what might happen with Dean and the events at the end of Season 13. Here we go!

First off, I intitially thought Cage!Michael would be the best character to bring back to ‘posess’ dean (if that actually happens) and would be best suited to the kind of uncharacteristically ‘Dean’ clothes we’ve spied Jensen wearing on-set.

Our Michael is pissed and wanting revenge / redemption of his own, surely: 

He might take on AU!Michael to redeem himself (or simply lend his Archangel grace to the boys’ spell?) or maybe he’s just so far gone (as Chuck may have mentioned back at the end of season 11) that if he were to get free of the cage and hear about the portals etc, he would be willing to team up with his alter-self and break down the barriers of reality, just for shits and giggles.

Super-twisted double-Archangel badassery—? I’m here for that.

I’ve also seen a few posts around the place pointing out why Alastair would be a good ‘possesser’ for Dean since a big theme this season is ‘facing your abusers’ (Sam + Lucifer, Rowena + Lucifer, Cas + Naomi..) But where would he fit in to the storyline and how? Since he’s a (dead)Demon he would be coming back from The Empty.

Though that does bring me nicely to the main attraction..

The linked Q+A at the start of this post points out a brilliant little thing that may or may not have been specifically touched on in the show: Heaven is failing, yes. But Hell is also without a caretaker, remember. So who’s to say the cage isn’t broken or unguarded? Who’s to say Cage!Michael hasn’t already escaped/been busted out/kidnapped to be used somehow?

I thought Cage!Michael would be the best option to possess Dean (if possession really is where the story will lead). Especially considering evil AU!Michael trying to fuck up the universe - I think it makes for an awesome parallel. 

BUT— The Entity, guys! OF COURSE!

For such an epic character / realm to be introduced and not revisited would be wasteful - because there is so. much. potential, but also why bother dangling it in front of us in the first place if they won’t go back to it? (again, as is stated in that linked Q+A). 

The Empty + Dean + Jack were all catalysts for Cas’ character growth commencing early in the season (climbing out of his depression slump and into the light of self-worth, bit by bit). If Jack and Dean are still around and still playing important roles in Cas’ story, can The Entity really just be cast aside never to be seen again? It feels like a loose thread. Especially since Cas is the only being to EVER awake in The Empty - no doubt that faceless dude wants answers (which he totally made a point of saying to Dead!Cas).

And then there’s Billie, aka, Ms. Death. 

She knows something we’re jonesing to know. Dean is important, Death needs Dean — but WHY? What for? What does she know / what are her plans? She’s not happy about the walls between universes breaking down, we know that much. And with God M.I.A. it kinda falls on her to be caretaker of reality, doesn’t it? She’s the last line of defence — or forewarning. 

She has spoken of The Empty in the past, revealed she can throw a Human soul in there if she so wishes (and that was back when she was just a lowly Reaper), and yet The Entity told us that ‘Angels and Demons’ come to rest in his domain - no mention at all of Humans. So was it just an idle threat? Or is it actually possible for Human souls to enter that realm, and it took God himself and the creation of Heaven and Hell and the divying up of souls therein to cancel out the need for Human souls to go there?

((—I’ll come back to this in a minute..))

And let’s not forget there’s more than just parallel worlds converging at stake: Heaven is about to crumble and let loose billions of souls to spill out over the Earth, but add to that the comments about Rowena futzing with fate causing a Butterfly Effect - who’s to say her actions haven’t set into motion dangerous consequences that will come to a head in the finale, whatever they may be..?

As for the expected themes of Season 13′s finale:

There has been a long line of beginning-and-end mirrors for previous seasons that would work well with season 13, too - i.e. start with someone dying (physically or otherwise), then bring them back near the end, or vice versa. We had Cas resurrected at the start and met The Entity, so maybe the end will see someone else ‘die’ (in some manner) - i.e. Dean - and welcome back The Entity as a kind of ‘living embodiment of death’, able to walk in the mortal realm by inhabiting Dean.

TheEntity!Dean — I’m here for that. ((—and that theory continues below..))

What would be The Entity’s intention, though..? I don’t know. Maybe it has no choice in the matter and just has to ‘make the best of it’? As for Heaven and all those souls and a lack of angels, I do have a theory:

Ms. Death will open a gateway into The Empty (a bigger hole than she may be accustomed to?) and deposit all the souls from Heaven into that dark abyss for an eternal slumber. Heaven will cease to exist, and perhaps those last remaining Angels will lend their power to Billie in order to open that portal. So: no more Heaven, no more Angels (bar a few, like Lucifer, Jack, Cage!Michael, and perhaps Gabriel and Cas). 

Dean somehow helps Billie accomplish this, perhaps by distracting The Empty? Sam and the others help too, but basically we end up with Dean’s soul trapped in The Empty (along with billions of sleeping, distant Human souls from Heaven). While The Entity is either forced out or sneaks out of his realm, stealing Dean’s body on the way and wearing it around Mortalville (I like this idea, because remember Misha’s creepy-awesome Entity voice?! There was a distinct Transatlantic 1940s accent mixed in there, and that would suit Dean’s strange vintage-esque wardrobe perfectly).

But there’s still more to deal with: Lucifer, at least one (bad) Michael, and the portals between universes. Sam, Rowena, Jack, Mary, Cas and our Apoc!world buddies would play into this battle of closure: who will die? Who will kill who? Who will end up where? How will they close the rifts for good? What will become of Jack and Cas and their Angelic grace? Will Apoc!World be made a paradise by certain folks choosing to sacrifice themselves or choose to stay there..?

So. Many. Questions.

I like my Ms.Death-Dean-Entity-Heaven theory for the ending of the season though — Dean ending up where Cas had been in the beginning. 

As for Destiel and the hopes of it coming into the forefront, how about this:

The Entity is forced out / accidentally falls out / escapes The Empty after wrestling with Dean on some interdimensional level. Dean is trapped in The Empty (dead or not dead, awake or not awake, and maybe the others realise it or maybe they don’t) and The Empty walks free. But during their tousel, The Entity’s consciousness (or whatever it is) melds and mixes with Dean’s: Dean sees what The Entity sees — or rather, what it saw, its memory of digging into Cas’ memories, thus, Dean sees Cas’ memories — all of his thoughts and feelings. Suddenly, Dean knows truly what Cas thought and felt - secrets about Angelhood and Humanity and Dean himself, all his yearnings and fears and unspoken truths. 

Maybe that’s the last scene of Dean this season, or maybe not. But reserved for Season 14 is how Dean deals with discovering all those truths about Cas (among other things, since being trapped in The Empty with no ride out is kinda big deal) — unless he represses them because it’s TOO MUCH (kinda like Rose with the Tardis inside her or Donna being a Timelord). But I swear to Chuck if they really do something like this and then make Dean flat-out deny it like it couldn’t possibly be true and The Entity was just trying to torture or trick him, I WILL explode. 

One more thing ..

That beautiful stuff about Dean’s soul and Cas’ grace (which exists mostly in meta and fanfiction, not sure they’ve mentioned it on the show?) would be an amazing addition to the finale this season. 

I haven’t mused on how this would weave into the plot and work with battle plans and other characters and all that jazz, but I think it’s something way worth exploring and the timing is kinda perfect, right now. 

Ok, maybe one little theory..

The nine Angels use their grace and all of their selves to help funnel the billions of souls through the portal into The Empty, which Dean is helping Ms. Death keep open, somehow. Gabe is manning Heaven with Cas and keeping the portal open on their end as the souls exit. Once they are all gone and the other angels along with them, Heaven will close — or rather, cease to be, and as it collapses in on itself and disappears into nothingness, Gabe goes with it. With his last remaining bit of strength he pushes Cas free of the collapse. Cas survives, now graceless, and the souls are safely in The Empty. 

But Dean is gone. He tousled with The Empty, got sucked in during the madness..

Dean awakes in The Empty — not of his own accord, but because something inside him wakes him up — its Cas’ grace. And that will be his way home, somewhow. 

Wow.. Okay.. never really done a mega spec-post before, but this was fun.

Please add your thoughts and anything I’ve missed. Also please feel free to yell about your own awesome theories below.

^o^

[santamadredidios]

About Cas

I’ve already talked about some of this in other posts, but I feel that after his recent unfortunate events (to quote Misha Collins), Cas deserves a proper post. Also there’s just so much stuff I haven’t mentioned yet.

While his death was certainly a massive shock for everybody (I’m still not done processing), I refuse to believe that it was simply for shock value and a good cliffhanger into season 13 (but boy, this is one heavy cliffhanger). Cas’ character arc is far from finished, and it is so heavily tied into Dean’s and the narrative of the entire show, that it can only make sense when he comes back. I say WHEN, not IF, because I was always positive that he’d come back, and now thanks to SpoilerMoose Padalecki we know for sure that he’ll be back :) That being given, his death, as painful as it is, fits into the narrative in two very important aspects, and those are Dabb’s happy endgame and endgame Destiel, in which I both stive. If anything, this painful, emotional finale only makes me believe in it stronger. To understand this, you need to look at the entire show like one very very long movie. We are now at the point 20 minutes before the happy ending: we were already going towards that (season 11 finale, early season 12), but in order to make it meaningful, we need to fall into a deep black pit of desperation beforehand (season 12 finale). From then on, when we think all is lost, the story will continuously walk towards this happy ending that we all (and especially the characters) deserve. Right now we’re in the deep black pit of desperation: Crowley is dead, Kelly is dead, Lucifer is unfortunately still alive but locked in another dimension with Mary, the Nephilim/Jack is not an innocent baby but a very creepy looking young adult, Cas is dead and Dean is heartbrokenly kneeling next to him, his world shattered. Both the narrative and Destiel are at their very low (especially Destiel), but in the end, everything will turn out alright (this means Cas comes back, because canon or not, Destiel is key to the story, and his reunion with Dean will be very gay).

Now, to me it seems most likely that the Nephilim/Jack (still hope this won’t actually be his name) will bring him back; either because he chose him as his protector or because of some other reason, because I don’t see any other scenario that has been speculated about play out. I like the idea that only his angelic part died and he will come back human (it also fits with what Misha said about Cas’ death transforming him somehow, but as the writers only returned to work last week, I don’t think he’d know), but unfortunately it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, because after all Cas was stabbed with an angel blade and they kill humans too (human!Cas was killed with one in 9x03). On the other hand, the transformation could be an emotional one that has of course a lot to do with the Winchesters (and mostly Dean) and their reunion (which will be very gay, in case I haven’t said that yet). Because I tend to imagine the worst, another thing that could happen is that after Jack resurrects Cas, he snatches him away from the Winchesters, OR he snatches his dead body away to resurrect him later and this destroys Dean even more. (Don’t imagine Dean taking the mixtape from Cas’ dead body)

This is not totally unlikely, because however this plays out, Cas’ death is meant to further their relationship and to make Dean really face his feelings for Cas (and hopefully, admitting them). (Seriously, if Dean wasn’t ready to do that before, you bet he is now, because he still hasn’t reciprocated Cas’ “I love you”, and now Cas is dead and will never know how he feels, so when he comes back, it will be very gay, even more so than usual.) But in order to do that, their separation needs to last a bit; Cas can’t just come back to Dean after 2 minutes like in 9x03. Despite that, I hope it won’t last too long, for various reasons. A) I want our Cas back as soon as possible, and I want him to reunite with Sam and Dean, B) having lost Cas, Dean will be a walking shell until he gets him back, and I don’t think I can stand that for more than 2 episodes. Now to the reasons that don’t just display my hopes and wishes. Taking a look back at previous seasons, this is the third time Dean has lost Cas where he didn’t come back immediately, the first time being in season 7 (”death” by Leviathan), the second time being in season 8 when Cas was presumably dead after Dean lost him in purgatory. In season 7, Cas came back after 15 episodes, during which Dean was mourning him despite that fact that he betrayed him and Sam right before he died, and their relationship wasn’t as profound as it is now. I’m almost 100% sure that we won’t have to wait that long this time, because we already know Misha (and therefore Cas) will be in 13x16 (the ScoobyDoo ep) which will be a MotW episode as it was written several weeks ago and by two writers who have never written for SPN before. Also, back in season 7, the writers actually wanted to kill off Cas for good, but it backfired, the ratings went down to a dangerously low level so they had to bring him back. This time, they won’t keep our favourte angel away from us long. In season 8, Cas returned for good in episode 7, but we saw him in flashbacks in eps 2 and 5. In the snatched-by-Jack-scenario, getting our Cas back after 6 episodes seems reasonable, but I’m still struggling with the Dean issue here. 5 years ago, they had a very profound bond (though not as profound as the one they have now) and Dean was visibly hurting in all of those episodes, and now... no doubt, this time losing Cas was worse than any other time (especially after 12x22, when Dean was finally being honest with himself about his feelings and performing!Dean finally crumbled), and so Dean’s emotional state will be worse than ever. We saw this in his reaction at the very end of 12x23, when he fell down on his knees next to Cas, his world shattering around him, not caring about anything else while Sam ran off to deal with the Nephilim. According to Jensen, Dean’s full reaction had to be cut due to time restraints, and we will see more of it in season 13. Where was I going with this? Oh, right. To sum it up, Cas has to stay dead (or presumably dead) long enough for Dean to really let it sink in, to really face his feelings for Cas and to be ready to admit them (honestly I think that’s the whole point of Cas’ death), but not too long so the pain is still very fresh and present (also not to lose viewers, and to give Misha a reasonably high episode count). Personally I hope we’ll really have Cas back by 13x03, but I might also be wrong with all this, and it freaks me out that we’ll have to wait till OCTOBER to find out.

[ncdover1285]

Birthday Boy Blues

Jensen/Misha

If you like it check out my ao3 ncdover1285

Jensen was out on stage, he loved doing these conventions. The fans were always amazing and being around the guys was always something he loved. Yeah, Danneel was cool with the relationship between him and Misha, but he still enjoyed the alone time the conventions afforded them, with no kids around and the girls back home he could relax into Misha in a way he wouldn’t allow himself at home. She had been a little surprised when he brought it up to her, but she had been open minded to the idea and even embraced it once she saw how happy he had been after he became comfortable with his feelings toward Misha. Jensen had never thought of himself as anything other than a red blooded heterosexual american male, then Misha had came along and changed all that. He still wasn’t interested in other men, although he could admit whether or not someone looked good, this was something he had always been able to do. He wondered if he would have been as accepting if Danneel had come to him asking for a relationship with someone else, even if it was someone they both knew fairly well. He wasn’t sure, but he hoped he would never have to find out. Misha and Danneel flirted around a little bit and had even both been with him at the same time. Misha had never been with her alone though at least not all the way. They were best friends so they would goof around and sometimes after quite a bit of alcohol they would get handsy but that’s usually when one or the other would call Jensen to join in.

Jensen was brought out of his thoughts by a fan addressing him with a question. Misha smiled a little amused at him when he realized he hadn’t been paying attention. Usually when he would space out like that he was remembering something they had gotten into in the nights before the panel, or even thinking about what he wanted to do or have done to him. Misha laid a hand on his shoulder, looking at him now with a little concern and Jensen just smiled and shook his head. He looked in the audience to the fan and asked her to please repeat her question, determined to pay attention this time. “So, Jensen, you have a birthday coming up. Don’t think we could ever possibly forget.” At this the entire crowd began cheering and Jensen felt his face flame up. “Yeah, I do. I seem to have one of those every year, I just don’t understand it.” The fan giggled a little bit but seemed to focus back in on her question. “So how does it feel to be almost half a century old.” Jensen spluttered a little at this comment and turned to Misha as if to ask did she really just ask that? He eventually got himself together enough to respond to the fan after the crowd had died down. There seemed to be just as many boos as there were cheers at the question. “Well, I’m only turning forty, but I guess it is closer to fifty than it is zero, but I still feel thirty so I’m not too sure.” The crowd seemed to notice his discomfort and allowed him his time to process what he was feeling about the question. Misha was answering what questions he could and deflecting the ones that were directed towards Jensen. This was part of the reason he loved doing panels with Misha. He truly understood what Jensen needed and worked extremely hard to make sure he got it. He did manage to answer a few more questions as the panel went on but the fans seemed to avoid bringing up his age anymore and Misha kept giving him sympathetic looks like he completely understood what he was feeling right now, about the mini melt down that Jensen is having in his head right now.

Then again Jensen thinks, he might just understand. After all Misha is even older than Jensen is. He forgets about that quite often. Misha is so outgoing and full of life that Jensen sometimes forgets that he isn’t some twenty something year old running around set being a goofball like the rest of them. Speaking of Misha, he keeps giving Jensen these looks, like we are so talking about this when we get back to the room. The guys on set of course know about their relationship, but they keep it pretty private because all the fans would go nuts, I mean they already have hundreds of blogs and thousands of fanfiction accounts dedicated to cockles, which he found out recently is a “ship” between him and Misha. Now that doesn’t include all the ones for Destiel, but these are based on them, the actual actors and not the characters and this makes him just a little more uncomfortable. While they are in the green room with only a few fans around because they have to sell tickets back here as well, no time for the actors to actually unwind and turn off their public persona, Misha comes up and lays a hand on his shoulder gently rubbing his thumb over the spot where his neck and shoulder come together. Jensen doesn’t really mind the fact that the fans are back here normally, but this has hit him hard and today he would really like to just curl up next to Misha for a few minutes before autograph sessions begin.

“Hey big guy, what’s going on? You still upset about that one fan’s question?” Misha always seems to know him so well. “Nah, well, yeah just a little. I guess I just sort of forgot that I was that old. I don’t really feel like I should be ‘half a century old’ but I don’t know. Do I act like it to you? Do I look like it?” Misha looked around and noticing that the only fans that had been back there had already been lead back out to the main room of the convention, sat down on Jensen lap. This of course made Jensen laugh and those little laugh lines that Misha was so in love with showed on his face. “First of all, she said ALMOST half a century, and second of all, you definitely do not look or act like an old man. I should definitely know since, you know, I am older than you. Also, because well, I don’t think old men would be able to do some of the things we do in bed.” This last part was said in a whisper against Jensen’s ear and sent a shiver down his spine. Misha would need to behave or they would be late to autographs. As it turns out that wouldn’t be a problem as Jared came bounding around the corner and plopping his long frame down onto the couch next to the couple. “Hey hey, none of that now, someone might see you, because you know, you guys are so awesome at keeping this whatever it is between you both secret. Oh, so get this, I saw something online the other day about you two. It was one of those fan story things but it was about you all not Dean and Cass.” “Don’t tell me you read those Jared that’s a little scary since, you know, you actually do know us and don’t have to just make up some stuff to post online.” Okay, so maybe Jensen was not in the best mood today, sue him. “No for real, some of them actually sound like they KNOW you. There was one I found it was called something about Cockles and it had stuff in it I swear they had to have had cameras because it was so true. That or maybe you guys just don’t keep as good a secret as you thought. Anyway just wanted to let you know, oh and I was told to let you know autographs were supposed to start about three minutes ago. Okay bye!” With that Jared bounced right back out of the room leaving it so much quieter than it had been only seconds before.

“You know those people who write the fanfiction seem to get his personality down pretty good too. He really does seem like an energetic puppy sometimes. Thank god he doesn’t pee on the furniture though.” This made both of them laugh and Misha just shrugged like he hadn’t just been talking about their friend peeing inside, just ew. Jensen and Misha then stood up to make their way to autographs and Misha stops him and leads him around the corner into a room that was just a little more private. “You know that whatever they say, you are still an amazing person and someone I want to spend the rest of my life with right?” This made Jensen blush and smile so big he thought his face would break. These are the smiles that Misha loves and the sparkle in Jensen’s eyes that he hadn’t seen much of today was slowly starting to come back. “You are such a cheese ball you know that? Of course I know that though, even if I share you with the ladies, I still love you and you keep me sane sometimes when I think I would lose my mind otherwise.” Misha gave a thousand watt smile back to Jensen and then kissed him starting around the corner back through the green room they were really late now. “Yeah but you like this cheese ball.”

So finally when they made it to autographs they were separated again, Misha had a table off to the side with Mark and Alex. Apparently they were playing up the two dads thing at this convention. Jensen of course was in the center with Jared who was waiting with his dopey grin already on display. “Have fun?” He quietly questioned as Jensen slid into his position behind the table. He just looked at him as if to say really? You want to talk about us keeping quiet? But instead he just rolled his eyes at the big puppy and started talking to the first fan in line. This was going to be a really long day. The autograph session actually went faster than he thought it would at first. There were fans there who were helping the different actors with their respective charities. He thought this was pretty awesome and actually wished he could talk to the one girl a little longer. She was the one who started it and while they were named after a certain blue eyed angel they still helped all the different charities supported by the cast. She had a beautiful pendant for him and a book. The book was a compilation of notes from different fans describing what he meant to them. This made his eyes get a little damp and he had to put that away for later, couldn’t be crying in front of everyone again.

After autographs they went to photo ops. These were always his favorite, well most of the time, because the fans always had some really out there ideas for how they should pose. He looked over to see Misha talking to Alex and waiting for their photo area to be rearranged. The photos they were doing now were the ones with him and Jared both in the pictures and believe it or not they actually had puppy ears for the big dope to wear to make him really look like a puppy. The fans in this op had also brought a net and instructed Jensen to be the dog catcher, he was sure there was some meaning behind it that he wasn’t going to think too hard on. He knew that not everyone “shipped” him and Misha and that there were quite a few who thought him and Jared were together as well. Those he didn’t understand at all. He could see that maybe he and Misha acted like they were more than just friends on occasion, those occasions were blatantly labeled on youtube, but he and Jared had only ever been friends. Granted they were best friends, on the verge of brother type of friends but lovers? No way even the thought was hilarious to him and he started grinning. The girls eat that right up, commenting on how his smile made him look so much younger. This however caused the real smile to slip right off his face and caused him to have to put the fake one back on. He really didn’t want to think about his age anymore today. His birthday wasn’t even for another few days and already he was dreading it. Finally, the photo ops with Misha came around. He definitely preferred these to the ones that he had to do with Jared and the ones with him and the fans alone. The fans usually wanted something cute with them holding hands or acting like they were kissing and he always had to act like he thought it was horrible, when in fact, these were the best. They were able to be close and semi intimate without anyone saying anything about it. Yeah, he could definitely see where they got him and Misha being together. Oh well, it was too much work to try and hide it any better.

Photo ops finally finished and away from the prying eyes of the public, Jensen was standing in the bathroom of his and Misha’s motel room. He was just standing there looking into the mirror like it held the answers to all his questions. Questions such as where did all the time go? What happened to the young guy who started out on this crazy show fourteen years ago? Hell, where was the guy that was so flustered over the cute new quy that he couldn’t remember his lines and all the other guys gave him grief over? He was starting to wonder what made Misha still want to be around him. He definitely wasn’t the attractive young actor that he used to be, and with the kids and wife at home he wasn’t able to devote very much time away from work and conventions, not nearly as much as he had once been able to. Speaking of kids and a wife at home, Jensen needed to call Danneel and let her know that his head wasn’t completely in the game tonight so if he seemed distant in his text messages that was why. She would worry about him otherwise. He really did have an amazing family. He had three great kids that thought he hung the moon and stars, an amazing wife who loved him more than anything on the planet, and Misha. Misha was a part of his family that he had never expected, but he wouldn’t know how to function without him in it now. Misha had introduced him to polyamory when Jensen had never even thought to know what it was. Why would anyone want to share their relationship with anyone else? Well it turns out that you can love more than one person without it taking away from the other. When Jensen was at home with Danneel they had family time, which sometimes included Misha and even Vickie, and these were some of Jensen's favorite times. He was able to have not only his wife and kids but Misha with him, his kids and Misha’s kids didn’t see anything wrong with all of them getting to spend time together. Holidays especially were a big thing to Misha, so they all got together and had big celebrations for even the silliest holidays.

There were times when he and Danneel would need a reset, some time just for them or for them and the kids. These times Misha never seemed jealous of, he understood because he and Vickie needed these times as well. When they were away from home however, like at work in Vancouver or at the conventions, that was Jensen and Misha’s reset time. They always stayed together while they were away, going so far as to have a place in Vancouver where they both lived while filming. Of course with Danneel being on the show there were a few weeks where they had to share the house in Vancouver but it had definitely been worth it. This had been one of the funnest times during filming recently, not only did he and Misha get to pick on her on set but they made it all better when they would return home at night. Jensen wasn’t jealous at all watching Danneel with Misha. It almost felt like home, the two people he loved the most loving each other and responding to him together, that was why he found the whole polyamory thing to be their best relationship choice yet. Jensen realized he had been off in his own head again while standing in front of the bathroom mirror as a strong set of hands made their way around his waist and up under his shirt to rest on his chest. Misha rested his head on Jensen’s shoulder and continued gently tracing the muscles on his chest. He had kept his figure because, well, Dean was a hunter. Dean was a hunter who for some reason enjoyed going topless, so Jensen kept his physique quite nice. Even for an old man, he quipped in his own mind.

“Quit that, I can tell you’re doing it again. Don’t let it get to you. You aren’t that old, and I’m not the only one who finds you sexy as hell. No, I’m not talking about Danni either, even though that’s true she does also. No, I’m talking about the hundreds of fans that came to see you today. They waited in line for hours for the photos and the autographs, even just a chance to speak to you one time for a couple of minutes. That made their entire lives.” Jensen raised his hand and placed it on Misha’s through his shirt. “God complex much?” Misha laughed and nuzzled even closer into Jensen’s neck. “Nah, just a little character bleed. Remember, Castiel was like god for a while.” This made them both laugh and Jensen was once again reminded that Misha was perfect for him. “I was about to go call Danni want to come with me out of this bathroom, I mean I know they are actually pretty clean but I just realized that I’ve spent way too much time in here tonight.” Jensen started toward the bedroom pulling Misha by the hand and when Misha pulled him to a stop and pushed him up against the wall between the bathroom door and the one that lead out into the hallway he easily fit between the smaller man and the barrier behind him. Misha unbuttoned his shirt while Jensen kept his mouth attached to Misha’s neck, just below the collar line. This was his area, the part where no one but himself, Misha, Danneel and Vickie ever had access. If they ever did a shot where misha didn’t have a shirt on they would have to cover the slightly varying shades of bruising left from Jensen’s skilled tongue and lips, but for now he wasn’t worried about it at all. They were starting to let their bodies carry their minds away as Jensen heard a sound from further into the room. Misha groaned as he leaned back to look Jensen in the eye. “That’s her ringtone isn’t it? We were just getting started.” He put on a pouty face that Jensen knew was just for show. Misha enjoyed talking to the girls as much as he did, but it wasn’t Danneel’s ringtone going off. “Nope, that’s Vickie’s new ringer on my phone. Now, why pray tell would your wife be calling me at a convention?”

Misha honestly didn’t know so he just shrugged and stepped out of the way to allow Jensen to get to his phone which had been dropped on the nightstand when he came into the room before his long stay in front of the bathroom mirror. By the time he got there it had already stopped reading and as he picked it up it beeped signaling an incoming text message. He held it out for Misha to see what had been written.

Hey sorry if I’m interrupting your all’s guy time, but have you seen my husband? I can’t seem to get him to answer his phone. Danneel was wanting to see if we could all get together after this convention and do something for your birthday. Maybe invite Gen and Jared too. It’s been forever since we all had the chance to hang out, and Sarah agreed to watch the kids for us so we could all have a few drinks and be adults instead of just parents for once. Well, anyway if you see him please tell him to call me. Thanks.

    “That actually sounds like a great idea. We should totally all get together and have a huge celebration for your birthday. Might make you realize that you do still have people who care about you, and I have no idea where my phone went, if Jared took it I’m going to kill him.” Misha then went off to supposedly look for his phone so Jensen figured he’d go ahead and message Vickie back.

Sorry, he has no idea where his phone ran off to, and you can message me anytime, you know that. As far as the party, that sounds great whatever you and Danni want to do is fine with me. As far as Gen and Jared, well that will probably depend on if he took Misha’s phone or not. If he posts anything else on Misha’s twitter I’m not sure the fans are going to believe him when he says it wasn’t him.

    He put the phone back down on the nightstand while laughing at his friend and boyfriend’s silly antics and went to his bag to get some fresh night clothes out. While he was getting dressed for the night his phone began ringing again. Guess people really do love him. He laughed out loud at the silliness he was feeling after spending a little while with Misha. This time it really was Danneel, she was calling because Jared told her that he may need some special attention. Jensen rolled his eyes at this, yeah that sounded like something Jared would say. He explained to her what the fan had asked him during his and Misha’s panel that afternoon and how he felt about it. She calmly sat and listened and gave support where it was needed. God he was one lucky man. He was laying on the bed still talking with Danneel when Misha came back into the room. Apparently he had found his phone as he was furiously typing away at the screen as he walked through the door. “Stupid Jared, so help me he is nothing but an overgrown child. He doesn’t have any respect for other people’s things. Can you believe this? He did it again. Why does it have to always be something stupid on my twitter feed?” Finally Misha looked up from his phone when all he received from Jensen was a low snicker. He mouthed it’s Danni as Misha sat down on the bed beside him. “Oh sorry, hey Danni! I miss your beautiful face!” She giggled at Misha’s silly comment, “miss your ugly mug too,” and he continued to type away as he stuck his tongue out at her when she clearly couldn’t see it. Jensen did let her in on the response though. He finally hung up the phone and Misha finally finished explaining to his minions about Jared’s stupidity, AGAIN. “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?” Jensen asked laying his head on Misha’s chest. “Don’t know, but I feel like the lucky one most of the time.” He wrapped his arm around Jensen and they just laid there enjoying the quiet and each other while Misha’s phone was chiming continuously in the background.