#i also went to build a bear
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Bought some new friends today!
Look at all the ones I managed to thrift! The webkinz signature rhino and the BAB rainbow smallfry are a real treasure. And the bear with the hearts!!!! I've been wanting one of them. She needs a bath. I might unstuff her for that and bring her into my local store to get restuffed.
Speaking of my local store, I went into BABW today to ask if they'd be getting pumpkin kitty, and if so, when. The employee said she wasn't sure if the store would ever get it. I thanked her and decided to browse after that. Maybe I shouldn't have, because I decided to build this cutie
I had no idea that the devil bear was brought into stores! I'd been eyeing pictures of them for a while, and knew I had to buy one when I saw them. I was super nervous tho because I went to the store alone, so I didn't do a heart's ceremony (he still has a heart tho!) Anyways, this is Dameon
#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#webkinz#build a bear#bab#beanie babies#viti's plushies#plushie: crystalmoon#plushie: cherry blossom#plushie: hank#plushie: lil rainbow#plushie: calliope#plushie: dameon#I went thrifting because my datemate had told me about the rhino and I git extra lucky#the devil bear was an impulse buy because today is a depressing day for me (my dad's birthday)#but making him brought me a lot of joy and he's already such a huge comfort. I had the employee make hin a bit soft so he's good for hugging#also its technically not an impulse buy because I had been considering ordering a devil bear#Im really happy I got to pick one in store tho
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#babybun#I went out today with my partner for their birthday#we also went to build a bear#and the rainforest cafe#it was a lot of fun#jellyfish#jellyfish aesthetic#color aesthetic#aesthetic#jellyfish gif#trippy#trippy aesthetic#dark aesthetic
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i got all 4 of the beast manga for my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! im so happy!!!!
#the autism is winning today#yipppeeee#i also got money from my sister and someone else which i plan to use to buy stormbringer 15 and wan#which is alot of books so i rlly hope i have enough money#i also went to build a bear which is unrelated but omg i love build a bear#i got a bear and his name is wilson b edwington#he is wearing green and blue dino onesie pjs and an orange dino birthday shirt on top he also has a black and grey baseball cap#he also has a halloween bowtie to top off the look it is purple with candycorn and bats and eyes on it#so in other words i spent like all my money that i have ever had on build a bear#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd beast#bungou stray dogs
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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
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Our kitties have been sitting out to make jerky for us and I figured I'd get a shot of my "twins" since they were both there. >.>
I was working out the exact spot for our water pen and found a little level 15 friend. Soon as Kel came down to see her it was decided she would join the otter pack. XD
Today Aras started our Base Basics event so I went out to obliterate the diplo population and found a 154 dire bear! Since our current bears are kinda low I brought him home, and while waiting for him to tame I spotted this 159 parasaur with stupidly high melee and figured why not.
And I've been having a single-player itch and wanted to get a pic of Center!Cooper so. He's not quite the right shade of blue, but he's close enough I'm happy.
#ark survival ascended#ark aras cluster#made some great progress on the new deinosuchus breeding so \o/#and i got rusty over here so working on my own black bird now#plus i found a /gorgeous/ black and blue argy so doing more color breeding with them too XD#will get pics of the new birb colors next time \o/#the bear had really nice stats too#also went after mushrooms in the swamp and found a 154 deinosuchus with 39 melee#but he was giga-chomping quartz at the time so i had to kill him to save my wyvern :'(#and i kinda died a little inside >.<#ark the center#i want to build my big perma-base but i can't decide on a spot help#there's too many good places >.>#did finally get all of his gatherers at least#found a nice anky and then nabbed the twin babies from a 140 mammoth#so at least i will be ready to build once i /do/ pick a spot
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Actually companies need to stop making pride products because nothing they make will ever come even close to this:
This is the peak. The ideal.
#build a bear#frog#rainbow frog#pride#lgbtq#build a bear frog#plush#plushies#frog plush#rainbow plush#i want one so BADLY#what if we went to build a bear and got rainbow frogs#and then made them kiss#and then we also kissed#and we were both girls#and the frogs were also both girls
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Ddy took me 2 the mall and we went to build a bear! This is Cinnamon :)
#my post#sfw#agere#daddy mention#build a bear#got sum cute stuff I will post later!#also we saw the new exorcist movie it was alright#also we went to the zoo and saw the animals!!#I love my daddy so much he is the best<3
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sometimes i forget i live in itaville usa and i go outside and see a gaggle of high school girls in the tackiest taobao prints ive ever seen.... but then i remember i also was pretty damn ita in high school so i continue on in peace.....
#shut up luci#delete later#literally this town is full of lolitas. huge comm but honestly a good amount of lonelitas#as a lonelita myself ive ran into quite a few who have no interest in joining the comm for a variety of reasons#im being meannnn but i did see a gaggle of baby itas at the mall today and almost had a stroke#also this is probably a veryyy local problem. like local to my neighborhood not even the city. high asian and weeb population round here#i wasnt even the only daily/lifestyler in my high school. but note i wasnt rly friends with any other lolitas at my school we just smiled#at each other in the halls#anyway i got a new phone case its pink. not the reason i went to the mall but i did impulse buy a new case#also kuromi build a bear. i failed at being a good adult today.....
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fuck it. my plushie squad
#Bean Text#from top left to right we have:#my fucked up probably counterfeit kaito plush thats falling apart at the seams#my sleeping vaporeon plush i got around 2017/2018 when i went into manhattan#an umbreon plush i got with vaporeon#the kirby plush ive had since i was like. 9 from my mom on valentines day. its 10 omg#(the kirby plush also was in a container under my dads former house for years and he found it when he was moving)#a penguin plush i got recently (its really soft)#jolteon i got with the rest of the eevee evos#miku natrual plush i imported from japan because it was ridiculously cheep#kiyoteru plush i cherish with my life (also from japan)#owl squishmallow ive had since freshman/sophmore year of highschool#this dessert thing i also got really recently#teddiursa build a bear i got literally less than a week ago#another squishmallow (i got this one because i liked its story of wanting to fly despite not being able to)#soggy seal i got about a month ago when i went to an aquarium in brooklyn#and an axolotl that i got from my grandmother for christmas
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I didn’t wait until the weekend I went to build a bear yesterday and it was great and even better is the online order I put in ages ago got here SO I DELIGHTEDLY INTRODUCE YOU TO…
Jim!!!!!! My most precious boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
#starlight personal#starlight fandom#I’m DYING HES SO CUTE IT’S PERFECT HE WAS BORN TO WEAR THIS#james t kirk#build a bear#I saw the Star Trek uniform on the bab site and wanted it immediately of course#but like; no bear fit with it imho I didn’t like the Star Trek bear and there just wasn’t one that felt right#UNTIL POCACHO POCCACHO OR WHATEVER THIS SANRIO DUDE’S NAME IS#he’s PERFECT#he’s SO JIM SHAPED#HE’S A LITTLE PUPPY HE’S A SILLY LIL GUY HE’S ADORABLE#he was born to be named Jim and the uniform looks amazing on him and I’m Full of Love#the lady at build a bear was so sweet too she was an older lady and we talked about loving teddy bears for 20 min#I genuinely cannot express how delighted I am at how great he looks in the uniform I’m so fucking pleased rn#the phaser is also cuter than I thought it’d be but it Makes Noises so he won’t hold it all the time#but the BOOTS I was skeptical when these are the boots they recommended go with the outfit#but they’re adorable and perfect and GOD HES SO CUTE#I love silly harmless fun things like yes I’m 27 and yes my entire week has been made by making this lil teddy bear guy#also I went yesterday b/c Snapchat reminded me that it was the 1yr anniversary of Me Not Going to the Psych Ward and also Me Not Offing Me#and I was proud and happy and wanted to celebrate how I made it through the Worst Year Ever and am on a brighter path after a lot#A LOT A LOT A LOT of hard work#like I was gonna wait until the weekend b/c I knew his outfit wouldn’t get here until today or tomorrow but I really wanted to go#and I did! I went I got a cute Lego set and a Cinnabon and bubble tea and JIM#so if anyone reads this it’s your sign to get a little treat and celebrate b/c 1-31 is now a holiday for me personally#JIM I LOVE YOU YOU’RE GONNA GET HUGGED SO MUCH
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Its official, I went thru my plushies. There's so many of them I decided to keep 😭 3 boxes and 2 trashbags worth (ran out of boxes). And there's 2 trashbags full of plush that are going to be resold/donated.
Also these guys are getting a home with my friend
#it felt good to go thru them all#didn't realize there'd be so many I'd keep#a lot of them are larger sized plush tho which is why so much space was required (bunch of 10-20in ones)#there's also a bunch of stuffed animals that I didn't touch because they're definite keepers and are on display#like most of my thrifted build a bears and my jumbo pokemon#I definitely need to take a trip to my storage unit cause I don't really have room for the boxes and bags#but haven't done so yet cause I just went thru the collection and its 11pm where I am#I might go Tuesday#if not then Thursday#maybe. we'll see. the sooner the better tho#in unrelated news echo was promoted to bed plush cause I didn't want to pack her away or leave her on display anymore. she needs cuddles#so thats about it#yay#it was kind of overwhelming to do ngl. all the stuffed animals everywhere. and theres sooooo many of them#its insane#anyways#stuffed animals#plushies#viti's plushies#viti shoosh
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i had a dream i was at a half priced books or something and they had borderlands figures and i knew most of them were bootlegs because there were ones of characters that never got official figures but there was one of rhys so i was like oh what's all this then and the body looked really professionally sculpted but the face was so fucked up every time i picked up the figure to look at it i couldn't stop laughing
#pers#after that i went to what i knew was a build a bear but it looked nothing like a build a bear. i bought a polar bear though#i also had a dream i was at my old high school but a fucked up version of it i only visit in my dreams. it's the same every time
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Feeling autistic I was at a game/pop culture store and one of the employees said they really liked my kaiba keychain and omgggg that was so fun . I think I smiled :333
#hehehehehehe happy rn#ALSO I went to build a bear and got a small plush#AND i got candy#and manga..
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just saw a big man... thinking about making vincent chunky now......
#sammy says shit#you know as a fat bitch myself i dont have enough fat ocs#i think it would be good for him#both literally and metaphorically#since obviously he and v share the same past#but he healed and thats always been canon#as much as you can heal from it anyway#and having a different build would also seperate him from v on a more meta level#... yeah i think im doing it#if you are a fat man reading this: i love you#vincent really went from skinny twink transmasc to chunky bear transmasc huh#LMAO
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So went on a date and we made build a bears and then named them after a pairing we both like and I just!!
Screams
15/10 would recommend dating your best friends
#it was amazing#we got boba#and then went to build a bear#and yes we named the frogs Yun Jin and Shenhe#and its adorable#and then and then#they held the frog the rest of the weekend and i just 😭#my heart#also i know youre probably going to see this#i can't wait for our apple fest date#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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cosmo wanda i fucking wish students understood that universities have limited reach and that public silence does not automatically mean no action is being taken internally and that the decisions of collectives / institutions do not reflect the decisions of all of the people within them (e.g. all faculty staff and administrators within an institution) etc etc. god DAMN it to hell. you people (not anyone reading this im saying this as if im talking to the student body at my school) look so fucking stupid @ing the social media accounts of distinct departments like that’s actually going to do anything. you think they ARENT doing anyrhing????? that’s probably ALL they’re focusing on rn and they’re spending days carefully gathering information so they can share it. and shit is hitting the fan in MULTIPLE areas rn if you haven’t noticed and also it’s winter fucking break so no one is even supposed to be working anyway. so what is wrong with you. why are you fucking making demands. getting a college to finally post an update about something is not the same as cancelling someone on twitter and the fact that so many of you think it is is indicative of how SICK our society has become. PLEASE calm down.
#purrs#literally about to start screaming. people have been so fucking stupid this year. that is all i am going to say.#and ik this bears a weight being a staff member here now but i was a student 6 months ago and years ago i used to do the same stupid shit an#and then i went to the retreat and learned that universities are communities made of people and that i can change the world by talking to#stakeholders and being strategic and patient and having civic courage and building relationships. and now i spend my life trying to teach#other ppl how to do that. so seeing students WHO I KNOW ARE AWARE THAT THIS ISNT THE WAY doing this makes me want to start SCREAMING. like#it was all for nothing. the HOURS of workshops you went through learning how to actually make change and ‘demand’ change and now you’re#engaging in this edgy bullshit. i want to curl up in a ball and/or jump out the window rn. sorry#delete later#work tag 2#this is literally the 5th or 6th incident in 2022 and i know it’s more complicated than that and yes there are genuine wrongdoings the#school / depts and individuals within it have committed. but also the knee jerk reaction of students to instantly turn into a mob and start#saying u*** does nothing u*** doesn’t care about it’s students is like are you KIDDING MEEEEEEEEE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. how about you talk to#x person who i know firsthand is trying to navigate this issue and suppprt students. how about you join x committee that just made progress#in this area. how about you get offline and go touch grass and realize your COMMUNITY isn’t out to get you!!!!#institutions are not inherently bad lol. institutions are communities. communities are POWER. if i could send one message to everyone on the#planet i think it would be that or at least include that bc i would also want to say stuff abt how we are real and human and alive together#etc etc. but that is like. something so many ppl do not see. being part of a university is POWER. being a student is POWER. so use it for#good!!!!! join committees! set up meetings with admin!!!!! join student gov!! this learned helplessness of @ing the school is NOT THE WAY#not when you have tools and relationships at your disposal to actually make a sustainable long term difference. what are you waiting for! th#the whole world is yours!! it’s at your fingertips! do you feel it? do you see it?
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