#i also want to slam my head against his tiddies

[hanniedream]

photos that unequivocally destroyed my entire life and what little was left of my sanity

[battydora]

masterlist | rules | pinned post

synopsis: they lose a bet and they have to take a shot from your breasts (inspired by: this tiktok)

cw: suggestive, drabbles, modern au, human hantengu (i refer to them as demons anyways lol), gn. reader (afab), written with a chubby reader in mind, reader has big breasts, pet names, consensual, mentions of alcohol, drinking games, teasing, + sekido's confession

note: i saw that tiktok and can't stop thinking about it, so i decided to do it with hantengu clones, self indulgent because i want to stop feeling insecure about my chest and i need them to drink a shot from my tiddies, yeah that'll do it. i wanted to do this only with sekido but the others can join too bye im so gross about these four (btw sekido is my favourite so his part is longer, i'm not sorry) btw karaku is shamelessly dirty lmao i love him

UROGI

"haha! you lost, urogi!" karaku's voice yelled as he jumped from his seat on the ground, throwing his cards to the table out of excitement.

"ah, screw you, karaku" the joy demon complained, also throwing his cards to the table aswell looking rather annoyed, side eyeing you. he hid the fact of actually being excited about losing a bet, i mean, with a bet like that who would like to win? whatever's the case, he remained calm and collected despite everything.

"oh that's a shame" your voice spoke, sarcasm asserting presence in your tone, you were obviously not against the idea, you agreed this from the very beggining because, come on, how could you not take the chance of any of these four to bury his face into your chest?

you grab the little glass and the bottle of vodka from the table and start serving a shot. the four demons dagged their glares at you as you unbottoned a... suggestive amount of bottons of your shirt, a little smile growing on your face as you -tried to- hide your excitement for the upcoming events. you grabbed the glass and stuck it between your breasts, your hands pushing both of them together so the glass didn't pour. urogi, sekido, aizetsu and karaku looked at you a bit astonished, sekido glares away quickly, aizetsu stares for a few seconds before also looking away and karaku looks at urogi with a devilish grin, almost encouraging him. urogi didn't hesitate and, with a wide smile, walked towards you and knelt infront of you.

"okay babe, are you ready?" he asks, clearly full of confidence, he seemed excited, like a small child who just got gifted a candy.

"i was born ready" you teased pushing your chest closer to him, he flinched slightly, his eyes widen just as his smile in response, however, he was no chicken. his hands were about to hold your waist but karaku stopped him instantly, a grin on his face.

"ah, ah. no hands!" you both look at him, then at eachother. you smirked once again and winked at urogi, challenging, he only chuckled as a response and, with his hands well hid behind his back, he buried his face in your chest. he missed a few times before actually getting to the glass, his tough lips made contact lightly with your chest, making him laugh just a little bit, you bit your lower lip with a grin as you saw him struggle. you giggled as he took the glass out and threw his head back drinking the liquid within the glass, now grabbing it with his hand.

he sighed out a laugh after, shaking his head due to the alcohol burning his throat. he looked directly into your eyes with a wide smirk.

"now that was fun!"

KARAKU

"oh man, come on!" karaku throws his head back as his hands slam the table, grunting at loosing to aizetsu "you cheated!"

"you can't accuse me of that, you cheated in the first place" aizetsu protested, putting his cards down calmly "stick to the consequences"

"yeah, you're no one to speak, karaku" your teasing voice said, as you crossed your arms with a grin, karaku's annoyance dissapeared in less than a second when he shrugged and smiled back at you.

"ah, as if the consequences were so terrible anyways. let me see 'em babe!" he was shameless while asking, you laugh at him before unbottoning your upper buttons, exposing your bare chest only covered by your bra, his eyes and smile widen in excitement, he looked like a puppy.

"you will excuse me" he added taking the bottle and glass to fill it himself and stuck it between your boobs, you laughed at his lewd and fun look on his face when he stared at your chest "cheers!"

those were the last words you heard from him before he buried his face in your breasts, purposefully staying in place for a few seconds wrapping the glass with his mouth to have you close for a little longer.

"get it over with, karaku!" sekido was the one to scold the green eyed for staying there for more time that he should have, not that you minded tho.

so, just to tease both sekido and karaku, your hands pushed your boobs up just so karaku would sink in them even more, his laughter was muffled by his mouth being busy with a glass to then finally pull it away and drink the alcohol within. he took the little glass and chuckled with his precious laugh and looked at sekido.

"in your face, sekido!"he mocked and the red eyed just grunted, looking away. karaku then looked at you "sorry babe, i'm tempted, can i give any of your buddies a hickey?" he shamelessly asked, your eyes widened as you saw from the corner of your eye how sekido and aizetsu grossed out at him, which only made you laugh out loud.

"yes baby boy, go ahead" you heard an annoyed 'oh come on! you're disgusting!' coming from sekido aswell as you heard urogi laughing at the whole situation, granting you some sort of satisfaction, this was fun.

"man, cheating was so so worthy!" karaku cheered to himself before putting his mouth to use again.

SEKIDO

"this is ridiculous, i'm not doing it." sekido is the first one to make an objection against the bet HE accepted.

"oh no! you're not backing away like a coward!" urogi laughs at him, shaking his head.

"yeah, man, you can't bet and then not confront the consequences" karaku backs up urogi, laughing at sekido's face right now, man's infuriated.

"shut up both of you!" he states loudly, crossing his arms, avoiding any sort of eye contact with you, he is denial... and embarassment.

"you accepted the challenge, sekido. don't be a pussy" you say now, your elbow resting on the living room table, your face is one of amusement and your eyes locked on the anger demon. he does not answer to you so karaku speaks again.

"if you're not gonna do it, i will" his grin is devilish, he tries to touch a nerve in sekido. the red eyed demon turns to him absolutely furious, more than he normally is.

"fine, shut up, let's get this over with" he grunts and sighs, karaku laughs at him.

"that's the attitude, i knew you weren't so stubborn to let this chance pass by" urogi teases now, you laugh at all the teasing to the poor sekido and serve the drink in the small glass. the red eyed simply groans and decides to ignore them, now putting his attention solely on you.

he kneels infront of you, his knees glued to eachother and fists sitting on them almost shyly, he frowns at you but then looks down, avoiding looking at you, only for a second until he notices you begin to unbotton your shirt, then is when he becomes nervous, he tries so hard to not look at your chest, he is already so embarassed for doing this and can barely look at you. he can't avoid it any longer and eventually lifts his gaze and takes a look at the glass sitting between your big breasts, a beautiful black bra cupping them so prettily. the view is arousing and makes sekido actually thirsty. you stare at his astonished look and make him snap back by pressing your chest lightly.

"what's the matter? gonna try to chicken out again?" you tease in a playful and sweet voice, making the blush on sekido's face grow wider. he gulps and responds.

"of course not, i'm no coward"

he builds up courage from his own words and leans to your chest, his face flushes in dark red when his skin touches yours as he tries to catch the glass with his mouth and pull it out as soon as possible to end this embarassment. his hand lands on your thigh for support (yeah, support...) squeezing softly before finally pulling out the little thing out of your chest, throwing his head back drinking the alcohol in it. the hand touching you takes the glass and slams it to the table.

"done." yep, you definitely enjoy when he's upset like he is in this very moment, his fanged grimace remaining on place as he returns to his seat, avoiding eye contact with you for the rest of the night, because he knows you're looking at him with that look, that exact look you make when you want to tease someone. not that he feels disgusted, he just doesn't want to lose himself infront of his friends.

later that night, you stay over at the hantengu's place, karaku, urogi and aizetsu went to bed a little bit tipsy from a fun night and you're about to do the same until you come across sekido in the hallway, he is dressing the loose t-shirt and shorts he uses as pijamas, his angered expression looking strangely soft right now, or maybe you are imagining it, the hallway is dark and the alcohol in your system is not entirely gone.

"hey, i just wanted to say, i wouldn't mind taking another shot from that chest of yours anytime" he states confidently but in a low voice, the statement surprises you but you play along, whispering some words in response.

"oh yeah? what changed your mind? you seemed vexed carrying out the bet earlier" you look directly into his deep red eyes, he frowns before answering.

"i don't like being watched, those bastards were putting a lot of pressure, i didn't enjoy it as i wanted to"

"aw you're adorable" you say, smiling playfully. you walk to him, standing only a few centimeters away from him, your hand landing on his muscular chest and going down, teasingly "how about we go to your room and try again? bet you'll enjoy it accordingly this time" his angered expression changes for an instant when a teeth showing grin appears on his face, nodding in agreement.

"i would love to rip off that pretty black bra after"

AIZETSU

"do i really have to do this...?" the sorrow demon asks, as if he could back away now that he is kneeling in front of you, chest on full display, a glass of vodka already waiting for him.

"i mean, can you really chicken out now?" karaku says, chuckling to himself.

"yeah, you have to do it" urogi follows, giggling knowing aizetsu has the fattest crush on you and that this was definitely not in his plans.

"i guess i don't have other choice..."

his lips are twisted in an awkward grimace, his face is red as sekido's eyes, he is so ashamed and embarassed right now, he just wants to end this.

'why do i get myself in these situations...' he thinks to himself, trying not to panic as he leans forward, his hands are shyly sitting on his lap.

he is a sweetheart, he loves you (and desires you) deeply but he will do anything in his power to have the littlest touch with your breasts as possible, even if you consented to this. he is very respectful of you no matter the circumstances. however, he kinda fails his commitment because the glass is unfairly buried in your chest (you did that on purpose to tease him, poor thing) so he had a hard time getting it. after some hard work, he finally manages to pull the glass out and drink the alcohol within, his face is red as ever and his eyes avoid yours at all costs.

"d-done, i'm going to my room now, excuse me"

"oh, aizetsu, man come on! it's okay!" urogi tries to cheer him up but the blue eyed already headed to his room, you start to feel lowkey bad for him, what if he didn't like it?

"i feel bad now... was that really okay? he seemed upset" you say with a guilty tone, furrowing your brows, thinking you might've ruined the night for aizetsu.

"no babe don't feel bad! ... i'm not sure if we should tell you this but-" karaku begins to talk but is soon shut by sekido interrupting him.

"the dumbass has a crush on you, it's so dang obvious" he grunts crossing his arms, his revelation actually surprised you, i mean aizetsu kinda hit on you in past situations but you may not have noticed it because his signals were a bit subtle, so it wasn't so obvious for you, maybe to them it was because they're his closest friends.

"oh... is that so?" you ask, still a bit shocked.

"yeah" karaku speaks again "so, if i were you, i would check on him" he smiles rising a brow at you with a smug smile, clearly suggesting you should have some alone time with the blue eyed.

"yeah! we won't bother you" urogi chuckles, winking at you.

"just don't make too much noise or i'm kicking you out" sekido adds, frowning.

you try to hide your blushing face laughing amusingly at them, you loved these dorks so much, supporting you in this whole thing, maybe the night isn't exactly ruined, more seems like it just begins.

thanks for reading!

[ewanmitchellconnoisseur]

"Illusion" (Final Part)

A/N: This is short :/ but it's a cute ending and I like it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Trying to speed run through my WIP's. Anywho here is the final part of Illusion!! Also sorry it took long, I'e been going through some stuff 😚

I do also want to mention that this isnt my best work. Because im finishing what past me started it was hard to make sure this came out good so...dont read to much into my shitty writing!

Summary: After Osferth saw you working at your night job you start avoiding him, embarassed about what he saw. He manages to get you alone and you both have a heart to heart.

TW: Virginity Loss, Smut, P in V, Alochol, Osferth being bold, Tiddy Suckkin

←  Previous Part

Mortified.

That was the only way to express how you felt. You were utterly mortified.

Just when your life was getting better and things were looking up. It's almost as if the universe couldn't let you have a moment of peace.

Your brain ran wild as you drove back home. He would never see you the same again after this. There was no way he'd still want to go on that date. And you couldn't possibly go to his birthday party and face him.

You are quick to run up to your stairs when you finally arrive home. Not noticing the small boy in the living room who stayed up waiting for you to get home.

You didn't have work. You traded your shift the same day he asked you to go with him to his party. Your brothers had plans with friends from school and your mom was working all day.

You spent the first half of the day cleaning your room and the rest of the house. Not cause you had to but because what else was there to do.

For once in your life you had the house to yourself. And the only thing you wanted to do was sit on your couch with a fat tub of ice cream and maybe a hot pocket...or two.

So that's what you did.

Sweatpants, sweatshirts, and slippers. Ice cream, chips and your hot pockets were all you needed as you snuggled on the couch.

You binge-watched your favourite show you've seen way too many times, trying your best to push everything out of your head. You managed to get halfway through the first second season before someone rang the doorbell.

Crawling over the back of the couch miserably and walking over to the door while still keeping your eyes on the TV you open the door.

When you finally tear your eyes away from the screen to look in front of you Osferth is standing there.

Without thinking you slam the door shut in the face. You stand there staring at the now-closed door when the doorbell rings again.

Taking a deep breath and wiping your face with the sleeve of your sweater you open the door again.

Osferth turned back around as he heard the door open. He walks back towards the door.

"Osferth liste-"

His hand is quickly holding on to the side of your face as his other pulls you flush against him. He dips down to kiss you silencing any objections.

You had always thought him to be too timid to do something like this. Too kind and gentle to kiss in such an intense way. When he finally pulls you away he doesn't let you go, continuing to hold you close.

"I shouldn't have approached you the way I did...I wasn't angry, disappointed or even disgusted..."

His fingers gently brush your cheek. His eyes take in all of your face as he's able to see you up close for the first time.

"I was jealous, I think, all those men looking at you I guess just got to me. Maybe I was also confused but that's all. I didn't mean to scare you off." Both his hands move to rest on your waist.

"I was just scared. Worried you would be. I should have heard you out instead of running. I was embarrassed."

Osferth listened to you as he rubbed circles on your waist comfortingly.

"And you had just invited me to your birthday, I was so scared tha-" You cut yourself off as something crossed your mind. "Wait- your birthday! What are you doing here? Your party started like an hour ago."

"I left...I couldn't celebrate without you there. I had hoped you would still come. When you didn't I asked around to find out where you lived."

"You have to go back! Everyone is there for you!" You tried to remove his hands to usher him back to his car but he held on to you tightly.

"I barely know half the people there. Plus, im not going back without you. I don't care if you strip I'm sure there's a reason you do it. And I won't ask if it's not something you want to talk about."

You contemplate telling him. It's not as if you didn't trust him but rather it was a pride thing. Most people wouldn't want to tell people about their family's financial struggles. Then again, if he was willing to overlook the fact that you danced half-naked for money to other men he deserved to at least know why.

"My dad had a gambling addiction. When he died his debts were passed off to us." Osferths hand held on to your lower back rubbing slowly in a soothing manner. "Loan Sharks came by a week after his funeral demanding their money. We paid them all we had in the bank but we still owe more. That's why I dropped out. That's why I strip."

"How much do you owe?"

"...not much left. I'll be done by the end of summer." Osferth nods. "Are you sure you're okay with the fact I strip? I know most guys-"

"Im not most guys. I get your situation. I just wish you had told me."

You smile softly. There is a moment of silence in between you two before Osferth leans back down for another kiss. This one is slightly different it's hungry and more aggressive. His hands slide down from your back to your butt giving it a playful squeeze.

Osferth walks you backwards into your house and uses his foot to close the door. As the kiss continues you soon notice a taste on your tongue, tequila.

You giggle against his lips, Osferths brow raises as he pulls away.

"What's so funny?"

"Did you drink before coming here?" His face flushes the tinniest bit as a smile creeps on his face.

"I took a shot in my car...liquid courage." It definitely gave him plenty of it. "I want you...so badly." He kisses the side of your face making his way down your neck, you tilt to the side giving him more access. "All of you."

You had never had someone say that to you. That they wanted you. Somewhere along the way you came to terms with the act that you could possibly never hear those words. But here they were, coming from the lips of the boy you least expected to say them.

"W-we shouldn't-" You pull your head back. You didn't know much about Osferth but you did know his family's religious standing.

"Yes-" He kisses you again before leaning down more so he can lift you up. "We should."

"Thought you were the wait until marriage type." Osferth smiles as he lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist. He carries you over to the couch sitting down with you straddling him.

"I can always repent." His hands roam up under a sweatshirt. "How about we take this off." You help him lift the shirt over your head. He takes a second admiring how good you look in your bra before reaching behind you to undo the clasps.

Once undone he flings your bra off to the side. He marvels over how perfect your tits fit in his hands. Gently rolling your nipples between his fingers before taking one in his mouth.

He sucks eagerly before releasing your nipple with a lewd pop and giving the other the same attention.

You could feel him getting harder below you, his cock straining in his jeans. You grind down on him as he gently grazes one of your nipples with his teeth watching your face for reactions.

You help him take his shirt off before leaning down to kiss him. Osferth was beautiful, despite the somewhat nerdy and shy look to him his body looked like it belonged to another man.

"Are you sure?" You understand like anyone giving your virginity is a big step. He nods and meets you the rest of the way pulling you against him into a soft kiss. He holds the back of your neck keeping you close as he continues rolling your nipple between his fingers.

He pulls away only to help you take off your sweatpants and to shimmy out of his jeans. You can only now see just how hard he is, the tip already leaking.

You reach in between you want to touch him but he gently grabs your wrists.

"I've wanted this for long I can't wait any longer." You lift your hips as he lines himself up. His face is fixed on yours as he lowers you unto his length watching every facial reaction, studying you.

Osferth's fingers grip your hips as you fully sit down. his breath coming in short pants as he leans his head against your chest.

"D-dont move yet. I want this to last." It takes him a moment before he starts to guide your hips to move slowly. You enjoy watching the pleasure plastered on his face.

You let Osferth take control as he pulls you against his chest planting his feet on the floor to gain leverage. You're taken off guard as he picks up pace not giving you a moment to breathe.

Motivated by your moans Osferth keeps going wanting to make you feel good, wanting this to be good for you.

"Osferth~" You rest your head on his shoulder his moans filling your ears. Those are the only sounds besides the crude sounds of his balls hitting your ass with every thrust.

His arms wrap around you holding as close to him as possible wanting to feel all of you inside and out.

"Does it feel good love?" his voice is sultry and only makes you clench around him. You nod back and can feel him smirk against your neck. "It must. I can feel you dripping down my thigh."

He stopped as he moved you both around laying you on your back, one leg over his shoulder and the other wrapped around the back of your thigh.

His eyes marvelled as he watched himself slowly slide in and out of you glistening with your arousal.

Seeing your body covered in a thin layer of sweat your eyes glazed over had his cock twitching within.

"I don't think ill be able to hold back much longer." He began moving once more picking back up in pace. The new angle had him hitting a spot within you that you had not known was there.

Osferth let go of one of your legs and has his hands found a way to your clit rubbing it gently. He could feel you tightening around him, your body writhing beneath him.

He watched as your orgasm washed over you. Your back arching off the couch, the way your eyes roll back slightly and you moan his name.

In his eyes, you looked like a goddess.

The view brings Osferth his own release he pulls out his cum painting your stomach.

You both sit for a moment minds racing to comprehend what just happened between you two.

"..how about we go shower then head to the party?" He stands up offering his hand, and you take it getting up off the couch.

Despite the doubt that crawls in your mind about if he's truly ok with your profession, you can't question one thing. He makes you feel loved and safe, a feeling you have not felt in a while.

And that there was no longer a need for an illusion.

A/N: AGAIN IM SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK IF ANYONE STILL CARES. AND SORRY FOR THE SHITTY WRITING.

[etherealluminescence]

I’d like to request nsfw hc’s of the brothers reacting to a thicc!fem!MC that’s really sweet and caring to others but they see her matsurbating in her room and they decide to dick her down after getting her consent

Interesting request- and I wanna do this first because it made me laugh. I have a few more headcanon requests after this, and then finally the fics!! I swear I’ll get to the fics eventually. I honestly feel like my headcanons are longer than my fics though.

Also whoever requested the buff cat one, you know who you are, I love and thank you I thrive off Buff Cat content.

I also know this said in her room, but I only changed Mammon’s to his room! I felt like it fit better.

Brothers react to Thicc!Fem!MC.... masturbating? NSFW

Lucifer

You had always been a responsible and kind person, no matter how annoying someone got, you were always patient, and you knew how to deal with the brothers, which was something Lucifer was absolutely thankful for.

He saw you in this bright light as something innocent and sweet, someone who was more of a big sister type, that liked to take care of people and nothing else.

That was until, he caught you red handed in your room, masturbating while clutching his jacket. At first, you didn’t notice, and continued on to pleasure yourself. You were too occupied with finger fucking yourself, that you didn’t hear the door opening and closing.

Lucifer stood and watched. He understood immediately what you were doing, but found it better to gaze at you until you noticed. He watched the sweat drip down your face as your lips parted, moaning his name. He watched as you clutched and shoved your face into his jacket and finally came on your bed.

It wasn’t until another minute that you finally noticed him. You came down from your small high, and were about to clean up when you turned and saw him looking at you with a smirk.

Unable to do anything but blush, Lucifer takes the initiative and places both hands on your thighs, and gives you a chaste kiss. Before going any further, the avatar of consent asks you if you’re okay that he’s going to fuck you.

You nod your head up and down eagerly, wanting the real deal. You could only ever dream of fucking him, but now that it’s a reality, you would gladly take him up on the offer.

Pulling you in, he went for your lips and bit down, forcing you to open up for him. He shoved his tongue in and easily won dominance, exploring every bit of your mouth, saliva parting when you two had to breathe for air.

He proceeded to push your back down on the bed, and went down on his knees He then placed your thighs on his shoulders. Giving them a good squeeze, and sucked. He was glad you hadn’t cleaned yourself yet, as he was going to suck you dry and make you scream his name all night.

Mammon

Mammon had been away for a really long time, in order to pay off the debt he got himself into. This caused you to feel lonely, as he was your favourite brother.

Having the smart idea that he wasn’t going to be back for a few hours, you went into his room and straight to his bed. You jumped on it to take in his smell, and intended to just sleep. But you couldn’t hold it in.

He wouldn’t be back for awhile, right? This was the perfect opportunity to take care of yourself. No one would go to his room, he’s not here, and you’re surrounded by his scent.

With two fingers, you placed them in your mouth and began to suck. With your other hand, you slipped off your skirt/pants and then your panties and put them underneath you, as a way to not get cum everywhere on his bed, you hoped at least.

When your fingers were went enough, you pushed them in, and began to slowly fuck yourself. You leaned over with your face shoved into his pillow, and began to slowly moan his name.

As soon as you did that, however, Mammon returned to his room. Apparently you can’t steal from customers while you’re paying off a debt. How sad.

As he went to his bed, he found you midsession getting it on. At first he was blushing like mad and was going to ask what his human was doing, but then he heard you moan, quite loudly, his name.

Getting his cocky self back, the great Mammon laughed and said “Of course you were getting it on to The Great Mammon.” Hearing this, you immediately turned your head to the side and looked at him, with enlarged eyes.

You were sort of scared. Was he playing it off? Will he judge you? Weren’t you the quiet and nice type? Does he hate this?

Your worries wash away soon after when he says he could fuck you, and you almost immediately agree. Mammon was slightly taken aback by how soon you agreed, but played off his blush as he was very hard at work today.

You were about to change positions when you felt a hand slap against your ass, and heard a loud thud. Leaning down, Mammon whispered, “I’m going to fuck you doggy style.”

Leviathan

Everyone was busy today, and it was perfect. You finally finished helping everyone out, and could relax and attend to your own needs, your very personal needs.

Sitting down on your bed, you undress yourself and begin to suck on your fingers, getting them warm and wet, when you finished, you pushed them into your core, excited to finally be able to masturabte again, it having been months since you’ve been able to.

As one hand was fucking yourself, your other hand squeezed at your chest, and twisted your nipples. Any extra stimulation would do, as long as you got to cum.

Things went south however when you began to moan Levi’s name. You were visualizing someone, and your favourite brother and crush came to mind.

Levi was on a snack raid, and planned to invite you to watch the marathon of the new anime with him. However, as soon as he got to your door he heard your loud uncontained moans. Of his name.

This made the otaku drop all the snacks he was carrying, and blush. He was shaking outside your door, as he heard things that sounded like moans, but couldn’t be, right? After all he was just a gross yucky otaku. Maybe he misunderstood. You were a kind, sweet and innocent girl! You wouldn’t masterbate to him, right?

However, he couldn’t hold back his curiosity and checked, and the sight before him nearly made his nose bleed. There you were laying naked on your bed with a bit of cum dripping out, touching yourself with both hands calling out his name.

He gave himself away by squeaking, unsure what emotion to be having. As soon as you noticed him, you hastily wiped the saliva away from your mouth and removed the fingers you had inside of you.

Both of you were unsure what to do, until Levi asked if the Levi you were moaning out was him, and not some other demon named Levi.

This caused you to laugh, and the tension on your end, at least, soon broke. You told him that yes, it was him, and that you’re alright if he’s disgusted with you now that he knows that you lust after him.

Not wanting to lose his Henry, someone he both admired and had a crush on, he quickly said no, that wasn’t it! Which caused you to take it as an indirect confession.

“So, do you want to finish this for me, then?” You originally meant it as a joke to lighten the room and see him blush, but Levi shut the door behind him, finally, and made his way over to you.

His hands were shaky and so was his breath. He wasn’t sure what to do, but he nodded his head and gave you a kiss. It was sloppy and awkward, but he pushed your back down and put his face between your thighs.

He had always wanted a big tiddy thicc thigh anime loving gf who calls him pogchamp.

Transforming into his demon form, he lets his tail coil around your breasts, gently, as he begins to tongue fuck you. His tail proceeds to enter your mouth when you give a rather loud moan. With his tail fucking your mouth, and his tongue fucking you, you proceed to squeeze around his face and feel a knot in your stomach.

With the pleasure you gave yourself earlier, it didn’t take much to make you cum. After you came, he licked all off and proceeded to unbuckle his pants. You were in for a long and semi-awkward and sloppy night.

Satan

It had been a long day, and all you wanted to do was masterbate. Satan was unbelievably sexy today as always, and you felt as though you could still remember his touch when you two brushed hands, earlier.

Entering your room, you slam the door shut and got to work. You disgarded your bag wherever you could, and shoved your fingers into your core, dry. You didn’t care. So long as you came, that would be enough.

Satan however, heard you slamming your door. You immediately left the brothers when you came back from RAD and immediately went to your room. He was concerned since it wasn’t like you, and wanted to check up on you.

When he got in front of your door, he heard moaning. His name being moaned. That was such a turn on.

He had always dreamed on squishy your plush thighs or spanking your ass as you were under him. Or even your pretty lips wrapped around his thick cock.

He entered immediately and closed the door behind him. You weren’t trying to hide it, so when you noticed him, you invited him to actually join in and fuck you. This, he agreed to and started to strip.

When both of you were naked, you two shared a passionate and rough kiss, both of you fighting for dominance. However, you soon lost, and felt a squeeze on your nipple.

Satan didn’t take his time at all, and let his hands roam wherever they wanted. He pushed you into doggy style and smacked your ass as hard as he could, not caring if anyone else heard. Actually. It’d be great if Lucifer heard.

He was going to play with you all damn night.

Asmodeous

Bold of you to assume he didn’t know you masturbated. He could sense it, especially if it came from you, someone he loved dearly.

It didn’t matter anyways if he could sense it or not, as he raided your room and found all of your toys, how exciting, you were such a kinky little girl for someone so cute and sweet.

Asmo purposely found you masturbating in your room. You though you were alone and took out your vibrator, but starting your session. But before you could get far, Asmo barged in.

“I finally caught you! Don’t you dare think you can start this without me.” He winked as he closed the door behind him.

Both of you wanted the other person, it was obvious. You didn’t reject his advances when he made them, and he didn’t flirt with as many people other than you anymore.

No words really needed to be said, as he stripped himself, and assaulted your neck with his lips. Your fingers lost themselves in his hair, and tugged at them as he started to leave hickeys.

When he finished with all his love bites, he gave you a long and deep French kiss, saliva dripping from both of you. He could feel your lust and desire, and gave the bare minimum of prepping, sucking his fingers and pushing them in, stretching you a bit for his size, and calling it good enough. Neither of you wanted to wait.

Thrusting himself in, he started to suck on your breast, and toy with it with one hand, the other supporting him. Your moans only fueled him as he went faster and rougher, in and out.

It’s like your vocabulary was erased, and the only words you knew were “Asmo, Rougher, Harder”. This was going to be a long night, because neither of you will be satisfied with one round.

Beelzebub

You couldn’t take it anymore. You wanted to quit being Beel’s work out buddy. You gave him zero explanation and ran away, but you just couldn’t resist anymore.

You wanted him to fuck you, hard.

The way sweat dripped down his face, his immaculate abs, the way he smiled and encouraged you when you worked out, telling you how great you were doing, as he gently touched your thighs to help you sit in better form. You loved it.

Which is exactly why you ran away. When beel asked you to join him, you of course accepted. Why would you decline such a sweet offer? You two were just friends who liked to work out!

That didn’t end well, obviously so, as you found yourself in your room, clothes thrown wherever, and your fingers deep inside of you, moaning out Beel’s name.

Your door was locked, and you just wanted to finish your sinful activity, embarrass at your own actions. You never thought you’d be doing this.

Beel was worried, however. Did something happen? Did he do something wrong? What’s the matter? He got even more concerned when he found out your room door was locked.

Were you sad and it was his fault? He was calling your name, but you couldn’t hear it. You were way too distracted. Finally, he resolved to breaking open your door, because he was so worried. What he found, however, was you on your bed on all fours moaning his name.

Ah. He got it.

Walking over to you, he asked if it were okay if he took over. You were slightly shocked and broke out into a wild blush. How did he get- oh he broke the door.

You didn’t want to show him this side of you, but now that you had, you weren’t letting this opportunity slip. You nodded and squeaked out a “yes”, and waited in anticipation.

You were finally going to get his big thick cock rammed into you. Beel however, took a gentler approach. He started by prepping you with his fingers, and kissing your neck. When you came, he pushed you on your back, and wrappped your thighs around his torso.

He unbuckled his pants, and slowly pushed himself in, as to not hurt you. When you finally adjusted, he slowly moved, and never increased his pace unless you specifically asked.

You were going to have a passionate night with this gentleman.

Belphegor

You had just woken up, and you felt excited. There was no reason, it was just one of those days where you felt horny, and it just happened to be after you had woken up.

Good thing for you, there was no one around, or so you thought. You slipped your hand into your panties, and quickly fucked yourself. You didn’t want to spend too long getting off, and figured that if you imagined your crush doing it to you, you’d cum faster.

Moaning Belphie’s name, you roughly and quickly fingered yourself, and threw your head back, saliva slightly dripping from your mouth, as you were feeling really good.

Just as you came, Belphie arose from under your bed, and smirked, asking you if you wanted to fuck, as you were such a naughty girl. Acting so innocent, but then getting it off to him when you thought he wasn’t around.

Obviously, you consented. You wanted him. You also made a mental note to start checking under your bed in the mornings in case Belphie fell asleep there.

Belphie lazily threw off his shorts and didn’t even bother with his top, if you wanted to see, you take it off.

With you already dripping with cum, he shoved himself in and kissed you. It wasn’t very dominant, and was kinda sloppy, but you’d take it. When the kiss was over, he made his way to your breasts and left hickeys in between, and occasionally sucking on your nipples.

His pace was not too fast or slow, but rough, he just wanted to hear you scream. Scream his name so Lucifer could hear it and knows to fuck off.

Let’s just say it didn’t end with round one. Not until he actively heard Lucifer yelling for you both to shut up.

——————-

Someone please play minecraft with me, thanks. I’ll work on the next post in a few hours, as these take me around an hour to write, each!

[minyoongiest]

What’s Poppin’, Girl? || KNJ (M)

• pairing: Namjoon x reader

• rating: MA/18+

• type/genre: smut, fluff, idol!au, established relationship

• word count: 5k

• summary: After writing a lengthy term paper, some alone time with your fresh-out-of-the-shower boyfriend is a good way to destress.

• contains: explicit sexual content, explicit language, oral (both receiving, not simultaneously), vaginal sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, post-sex cuddling

• note: This is essentially a commission I did (but for free) for my good friend who loves Joon. It was a little strange to write since I’m much more comfortable writing about Yoongi, but let me know if you like it. (Translations are at the end.)

|| ao3 ||

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I glare at the little number at the bottom of my screen reminding me again that my grad paper is still ten words short of the required word count. I release a slow breath and start rereading it again from the top, trying to figure out where I could possibly fit another sentence, even though I can’t think of a single thing left to say on this subject. I mean, it’s psychology, so there’s plenty to say, but my brain is fried, and I would like to be done now.

I let out a frustrated noise and shut my eyes.

“Gwaenchanh-a?” Joon’s deep voice asks distractedly from above me.

“What if I just quit?”

I tilt my head back on the pillow I’m leaning against, which is resting against Joon’s thigh, and look up to see him frowning at me, his attention stolen from the book in his hands.

“What?”

“This is…stupid.” I glare at my computer screen. “I mean, it’s important, but I’m so done.”

“How much more do you have?” He squints at my paper so far.

“Ten words.”

“Ten words?” His eyes widen, and then he slowly shakes his head. “You can do ten words.”

Suddenly, the pillow I’m leaning on shifts, and I jerk upright.

“Where are you going?” I twist on the couch as he stands and sets his book on the coffee table.

“To take a shower,” he looks back at me with his arms stretched behind his head.

“But you were helping me,” I complain instantly. “Don’t leave.”

“You’re doing homework.” He gestures to my computer. “I didn’t think you needed me for that. I figured when I get out of the shower, you’ll be done and we can do something together instead.”

I’m still a little annoyed he’s abandoning me, but he also piqued my interest.

“What kind of ‘something together’ are you thinking of?”

He grins, and I hate it because it’s beautiful and dimply and way too sexy for doing homework.

“Just finish your paper.”

I open my mouth to argue and then freeze when he pulls his shirt off giving me an eyeful of his bare back.

Before he disappears into the bedroom. It takes a second before I can turn back to my homework, my body even less interested in this damn paper than earlier.

“Asshole,” I mumble, even though I don’t actually think that at all. “He could’ve just waited until I wrote the last ten words.”

Then again, if I finish fast enough, he’ll still be in the shower, which has lots of potential for doing “something together.” Something that involves orgasms, so a very good something.

Except.

I still have to come up with ten words for this paper. For fuck’s sake, since when has ten been such an impossibly large number? Setting my computer next to his book on the table, I get up and go into the kitchen for a Ramune soda. Maybe if I take a break for a second, I’ll be able to finish this paper from hell.

The soda helps, but it still takes me a million years to finish the paper. (Ok, fine, half an hour, but still.) When I’m done, I check over it one last time and make sure my sources are cited and formatted right before saving and submitting it. Then I put my computer down and twist my legs over the side of the couch to stand up.

It turns out half an hour is plenty of time for Joon to shower, because as I’m walking into the bedroom I hear the water go off. I had been planning to get in with him, but too late for that, which sucks because shower sex with Joon is always highly enjoyable.

Instead, I turn to the pile of clean clothes on the bed. Since we’re not doing it in the shower, and I’m still planning go have sex tonight, we’re going to need this to be laundry free.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” I turn toward the bathroom.

And then a miniature earthquake happens in every part of my body, it’s epicenter right between my thighs.

He’s wearing a thin white towel around his waist. His hair is damp and sticking out everywhere, and he’s grinning again.

Oh God. I can’t feel my legs.

“Wha–” I brace myself on the mattress. “What do you want?” I whisper.

His grin GETS. BIGGER.

And then he flexes his pecs.

FLEXES THEM.

WHILE HALF NAKED AND RIGHT IN MY FACE.

“Fuck,” I hiss as wet saturates between my now-trembling legs.

They’re about to give out, but that’s probably fine, since I’m already getting on my knees anyway.

“What are you doing?” the smile in his voice fades into confusion as I drop down next to the bed.

“You started this,” I look up at him, raising my eyebrows. “Do you want me to suck you off in that doorway or do you want to sit down?”

“Wait, what?” he blinks, and I move closer to him, reaching up to grab the flimsy fabric at his hips.

“I’m gonna blow you now,” I explain softer. “Which is what you were asking for when you popped those giant tiddies like that.”

His face starts to get red and he shakes his head.

“I was just–”

“Don’t make excuses,” I cut him off, tugging on the towel, which falls free easily. “You knew what you were…”

My sentence dies as my eyes land on his hard cock. Fully erect, lined with veins—the thickest one running right up the underside—the pink tip glistening with precum, tan shaft visibly throbbing… Fuck, I can practically feel the heat coming off of it against my face.

My mouth is literally watering. Shutting my eyes—even though the image of it is seared into my eyelids—I swallow and lick my lips before opening them again and reaching out with one hand.

“You know you don’t have to–”

I pause and look up at him, my hand hovering less than an inch away.

“I want to,” I tell him firmly, “and you want me to, don’t you?”

He coughs out a hoarse, “yes,” which is all I need to hear.

Brushing my fingertips along the feverish length, I lean forward and kiss the side of it close to the base. He grunts, and I see him brace an arm on the doorframe out of the corner of my eye before I look back at what I’m doing. I curl my whole hand around his shaft and begin sliding my fist up and down, kissing his leaking tip.

His hips buck suddenly, and he groans out my name, which is my cue to move things along. Letting go of him, I lean in again and start licking him all over. One of my hands goes to his hip to steady myself, while I use the other to tease his balls and run the edge of my fingernail up and down his shaft. When he’s slick all over, I sit back and blow a faint stream of air over him.

“Fuck, baby,” he bites out. “Oh God.”

I look up at him, meeting his eyes as I take his bulbous head between my lips. I suck on it gently before taking a little more, releasing some, and then taking more. I repeat it until I’m sliding almost all of him in and out of my mouth.

“Take it all, baby,” he gasps, and I wince.

I can’t take all of it or I’ll gag, which won’t be sexy at all. To make up for what I can’t fit, I take the remaining inches in my hand and start squeezing and twisting my fist as I begin sucking on him.

“Ssibal!”

His free hand slams into the doorframe, which he’s now gripping both sides of as I swirl my tongue around his swollen tip. Releasing him for a second to take a breath.

“Don’t stop,” he winces.

Nodding, I guide him into my mouth again before sliding my hands around his thighs to grab his ass.

He swears through his teeth, and I look up to see a vein popping in his neck. Warmth spreads in my chest, knowing I’m making him feel good. It also spreads in other places since having his dick in my mouth makes me feel good too.

I start sucking again, gently, dragging things out. Using his ass for leverage, I slowly begin taking more of him as I slide him in and out between my lips.

“More,” he whines at the same time his cheeks clench in my hands, forcing his cock further into my mouth.

I let out an involuntary moan around his thick shaft, and suddenly his hand is in my hair, holding me still as his hips jerk. My legs almost give out as I suck on him while he fucks my mouth.

Fuck. It’s so big. My eyes are watering.

He stops suddenly, pulling out, and I gasp in surprise.

“Why did you do that?” I hiss.

“You’re crying.”

My eyes widen, and I glare at him. “So?”

His face, twisted with arousal, turns into a frown.

“I’m gonna hurt you.”

“If you take this dick away from me, I’ll show you crying,” I snap at him.

“What?”

I sigh, and stroke the skin of his ass.

“Joon, just let me finish you off. I know you’re close.”

After a second, he nods, and I instantly pull him against me again, taking all of him in that I can before sucking deep.

“Son of a bitch!”

I continue sucking as I slide him in and out. He only lasts a few second before his cock twitches and suddenly hot streams of fluid are hitting the back of my throat. I focus on the heat and on swallowing it all, my hands holding on firmly to his ass as his hips jerk. When he’s spent, I release him slowly, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand.

“You okay?” I ask softly, climbing to my feet on quaking legs.

“Ne,” he murmurs. “Better than okay.”

“Good.”

“Now it’s your turn.”

I blink and, before I can ask what he means, my back is in the bed on top of the clean laundry.

“No, we can’t have sex here!”

“What?” His face twists with confusion. “This is our bed. This is where we have sex.”

“There’s clean clothes all over it.”

“I can fix that.”

And then before I can stop him, he’s shoved all the laundry onto the floor.

“Kim Namjoon!” I scramble to stand up. “Are you kidding me?”

“What? Now they’re not on the bed.”

“Now they’re dirty! Again! I just–”

The sudden smack surprises me, and I gasp looking over my shoulder.

“Did you just spank me?”

“Yes.”

The heat of it slides between my legs, and I bite my lip, turning my head to hide my blushing face.

“Did you like it?” he asks quieter.

“Mmhmm,” I nod, avoiding his eyes.

“Get on the bed, baby.”

I let out a shaky breath, forgetting the clothes on the floor, and climb back onto the mattress.

“It’s your turn,” he repeats his words from earlier. “I just came, so I’ll need a few minutes before I can go again.”

“That makes sense.”

“So until then, I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“First, I gotta get you naked,” he says in a deeper tone that does fantastic things to me.

“I can help with that.”

Rising up on my knees, I pull my top over my head and throw it on the floor. He reaches around to undo my bra, while I start pushing my leggings down past my waist. He flips me suddenly, and I let out a sharp cry as I land again. Taking the band of my pants in his large hands, he removes them and my underwear all at once.

“Goddamn, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs, and a kaleidoscope of butterflies erupts in my belly.

His eyes travel over my nakedness, and I look away, afraid I might cry if I see the look of awe on his face a moment longer.

The kiss surprises me. His soft, perfect lips on mine. He does it again, and this time, I kiss him back, sliding my fingers in his wet hair, holding him to me.

He moves away, and I reluctantly let him go.

“Okay, come here.”

I blink as I sit up, watching him lie back on the pillows.

“What are you doing now?”

He leans forward and grabs me under my arms, hauling me over him until I’m straddling his waist.

“Like I said. It’s your turn.” He flicks his eyes up toward the headboard before meeting mine again, and a shiver runs down my spine. “Knees in the pillows, baby.”

My heart trips in my chest, and I take a quick breath before rising up on my knees and moving up the bed. His large hands slide up my thighs as I move over his shoulders, my skin immediately breaking out into goosebumps. Finally, my knees sink into the pillows on either side of his head, and I rest my hands on the headboard.

“How’s this?” I ask, looking down at him.

“Perfect,” he says softly.

One of his fingers trails through the wet between my legs, and I start panting. His large hands move to the outside of my hips, and suddenly I feel his hot breath moving over me. Oh God. A fresh ripple of heat tears through my pussy and I feel his eyes watching it. My fingers flex around the wood slats, and I whimper. Fuck, he hasn’t even touched me yet, and—

His lips brush my lips, just for a second, and I let out a soft whimper. Then his fingers are there, teasing and pulling at me, making me squirm above him.

“Joon,” I whine at him, my voice threaded with need.

“Patience.”

I can practically hear his dimply, sexy grin.

“You ready?” he asks as his fingertips curl in, brushing the insides of my thighs, every word sending a rush of air over my most sensitive place.

“Y-yes,” I whisper, but the word is barely out of my mouth before his hands lock on my hips and pull me down, my drenched sex pressed right against his face.

I gasp at the feel of his lips on me, his damn grin touching me right there. He kisses me, his soft lips puckering against my wetness, before his fingers slide around to my ass, which he grips firmly, and then his tongue is on me. I moan at the immediate heat of it, lapping at my soaked slit and toying with my clit. I barely resist the urge to grind on him.

“Fuck me,” he groans against me, making me moan, “so fucking sweet.”

“Don’t—Don’t say that,” I pant. “It’s cheating.”

He’s not allowed to be sweet during sex because I’ll cry, and crying during sex isn’t the stuff orgasms are made of.

“Mmm.”

Two of his long fingers slide into my pussy, and I feel my legs quake. He twists them as he removes them, causing my walls to squeeze acutely.

“Joon, please…”

“Baby, I got you,” he murmurs.

His hand moves back to my ass where he squeezes both of my cheeks in his palms. Suddenly, his lips part against me and he sucks deep. My back arches and a whimper tears out of my throat.  

Then he’s just sucking. On everything. My lips, my clit, my thighs. His fingers dig into my ass, and I feel heat gathering in my belly. His teeth scrape against me, and I breathe his name like a prayer, leaning my head against my hands.

I can’t hold out much longer.

My hips move on their own, rocking against him as he sucks and licks, his fingers flexing around my ass.

I’m feeling too much. It’s everything all at once. Everywhere.

His tongue dips in for a split second, and I whine. I feel him smiling again.

“Kim Namjoon, this is–”

And then his tongue is filling me. Thrusting in and out while he continues biting and sucking. The fingers of one large hand slide around to toy with my clit. I can’t stop it. My control shatters, and I press down against him, grinding against his gorgeous face. He grunts again, this time inside me, and I cry out. Two of his fingers find me, and he doesn’t miss a beat, blending the thrusts of his tongue with those of his hand. His teeth scrape over my lips at the same time his fingers roll my clit, and it’s over.

I’m coming in his mouth.

My entire body locks up as I shout his name. I grip the headboard so tightly my knuckles go white while the massive orgasm rips me apart. He doesn’t stop his perfect torture until he’s sucked every drop of pleasure out of my body, at which point he eases me up onto my knees, where he leans up just far enough to place one kiss on each of my thighs and then one last one against my sated lips before pulling me off of him and settling me down on my back in the space next to him.

My heart is racing, and I still haven’t caught my breath. With one hand I reach back to feel the skin of my butt.

“I think you bruised my ass,” I announce softly.

“What?”

He jerks up in the bed and cranes his head to see my backside.

“I’m not sure, but…you were squeezing pretty hard.”

“Oh my God. I didn’t–”

“Don’t apologize,” I cut him off. “I liked it. It was hot.”

He blinks, and sits back a little. “Oh.”

I press my lips together at how cute and sweet he is when my eyes catch on his dick. It’s hard again. Clearly, he enjoys having his mouth on me as much as I do. God, it’s all swollen and heavy and begging to be touched.

My pussy clenches, and I feel myself getting wet again instantly. I need it inside me.

“Joon,” I murmur, my voice sounding strangled.

“Ne?” he looks up at me and then his eyes follow mine down to his mammoth cock.

His eyebrows rise, and he looks back at me.

“See something you like?”

“I see something I want,” I reply softly. “Are you gonna give it to me?”

“Absolutely.”

He grins and reaches for me, sliding his arm around my waist and turning us in the bed so I’m on my back, my head in the pillows, with him hovering over me. I open my legs for him automatically, his hips falling through, his feverish dick grazing the skin of my thigh.

I gasp, my hands reaching up for his shoulders as his head lowers to my ear.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, his lips gliding over the skin of my neck. “I love touching you like this.”

His hands slide from my knees up my thighs, making me whimper as his fingertips graze my swollen lips before moving to my hips and up my sides, over my ribs.

“Joon…”

“I love this…” His mouth kisses a trail over my jaw. “And these.” Both my collarbones. “And…these.”

His large palms slide over my boobs, my nipples puckering against them instantly as I moan. His thumbs drag over the erect points, and my back arches off the bed.

“I love how sensitive they are,” he goes on, his mouth kissing down the line between them. “Especially when I do this.”

His lips close over the peak of the left one, and my body goes rigid. One of my hands grabs a fistful of the sheets, while the other clasps his head to me. I moan, and feel a rush of fluid between my legs, trickling down my thighs. He sucks gently before releasing it only for his tongue to dart out, the tip swirling around my areola before the flat of it laps at me. He leans back, and I start panting as the cool air against the residual heat of his tongue only makes my nipple tighten more.

“And this one.”

He moves to the other side and repeats everything. My heart is pounding when he sits back, and I’m so wet I think there’s probably a wet spot on the sheets, but I’m way too turned on to check.

He reaches for them again, his thumbs aimed for my painfully hard nipples, when I reach out and grab his wrists.

“I’ll come,” I wheeze at him.

“What?” he blinks.

“If you keep playing with my nipples, I’ll come. I’m serious.”

“Really?”

I jerk my head forward in a nod, and his eyes widen.

“Fuck, baby, I knew you were responsive, but I didn’t realize you were that responsive.”

“Just…put your damn dick in me already,” I huff, pouting.

“Oh? You mean this dick?”

Leaning forward, he puts an elbow in the mattress, taking his weight, so his face is hovering inches from mine. He reaches the other down between us and takes himself in his hand, carefully moving the engorged head between my lips.

“Yeah,” I choke out. “That’s the one.”

He presses his lips to my temple as he slowly moves the tip along my dripping slit.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” he mumbles against my skin.

I start to tell him to hurry up when he catches on my entrance. I stop breathing as he begins to push in, my fingers on his shoulders digging into his skin.

Oh God. He’s so big. I twist my head to the side and squeeze my eyes shut as my pussy stretches around him.

“Damn, you’re tight,” he groans.

He sinks in another inch, and I bite down on my lip, but a tiny whimper still slips out.

“You okay?” he asks softly, and I turn to look at him.

“Yeah,” I murmur breathlessly. “I’m good.”

“You sounded like you’re in pain.” He frowns. “Do I need to pull out and finger you some? I thought you were wet enough, but–”

“It’s not that.” I shake my head. “Your dick is just so big,” I remind him.

“Oh…yeah. Right.” He smirks, and I see him try to hide it. Dork.

“Is…Is it in all the way?” I try to see, but his giant pecs are in my way.

His smile fades, and he looks back down at me. “There’s a little more. If you can take it.”

“I always take it, Joon,” I remind him softly. “I just need a few minutes to adjust to it.”

He nods and strokes the skin behind my ear with his thumb.

“Tell me when you want more.”

“Okay.” I shut my eyes for a second, before I tap his side. “I’m ready.”

He pushes in the last few inches, and I moan at the feel of him filling me completely. His thick, hard shaft inside me, his balls kissing my lips.

“Still okay?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Keep going?”

“Yeah, just go slow at first.”

He kisses my lips before he carefully pulls out and slides back in. I hiss at the feel of his turgid, veiny flesh dragging against my sensitive walls. My knees come up on either side of him as he does it again. And again.

“Faster,” I whisper.

His hips rock against me, steadily increasing in speed, my pussy squeezing with every thrust. My arms slide around his shoulders, and I lift my lips to his ear.

“Fuck me, baby.”

“You sure?” he groans.

I lift my legs and curl them around his back. “I’m sure.”

His restraint snaps, and I cry out as he begins pounding into me, my arms automatically locking around his neck. He starts thrusting fast and hard, his balls slapping against me. My body rocks with his rhythm causing my breasts to slide against his pecs, the friction sending tiny bursts of pleasure through my nipples. My moans get louder and longer each time his giant cock enters me.

Suddenly, his free hand slides under my ass, lifting me, enabling me to take more of him.

“Namjoon!” I scream at the feel of it, my head flying back against the pillow.

Oh God. Everything he’s doing is so intense. I feel like my pussy is going to explode. I’m so close to coming I can almost taste it…

“Baby, I’m close,” he grunts.

“Yeah.”

“Need you to come.”

“I…I…”

He drops my ass and his fingers slide around between us, one of them going straight to my clit.

My lungs lock up and my entire body bows off the bed as my orgasm crashes into me. My legs squeeze tight to his hips, my heels digging into his ass, as shocks of pleasure run down my thighs, through my belly, and into my nipples. My pussy is spasming uncontrollably as his thick shaft continues to drive into me.

“You coming?” he asks hoarsely, his hand between my legs still rubbing against me.

“Mmhmm,” I whimper, still in the throes of it, but he must understand me because immediately his hand disappears, going to my hip where he grips me tight as he begins slamming into me even harder than before.

“Joon!” I moan, my orgasm rolling over into a new one.

Suddenly, his thrusts get erratic and he lets out a long groan, his head flying back as his cock jerks, spurting inside me as he comes. When he’s spent, he collapses on top of me, my body still trembling from the ferocity of my own climax.

After my heart stops racing, I drop my legs from around his waist, and run my fingers down his spine.

“I can’t breathe,” I whisper against the skin of my chest.

“Sorry.” He lifts up slowly, and I reach up to slide my fingers into his hair.

“Don’t pull out yet,” I murmur.

“No?”

“I like being full of you,” I whisper. “And I don’t want to give that up yet.”

“Hmm. Okay.”

His fingers run along the edge of my jaw, and I tilt my head to the side.

“Do you feel good?” he asks gruffly, his hand sliding behind my head, his thumb stroking the side of my neck.

“I feel fantastic.”

“Choayo.”

Then he lowers his lips to mine, and I inhale the taste of him. My fingers slide into his hair as I kiss him back. I will never be tired of this, the feeling of his perfect lips moving over mine, his tongue sliding against mine, the taste of him… it’s everything.

He keeps kissing me until we’re both out of breath, and he’s starting to get soft inside me.

“Gotta pull out now,” he mutters.

“Mm.”

I bite my lip as he slides out, my pussy suddenly feeling strange after being so full for so long.

“Are you tired?” He looks down at me as he shifts into the space beside me.

“Not really. Sated for sure, but not sleepy.”

“We can watch something on Netflix if you want.”

“The Good Place?”

“Sounds good.” He grins. “Let me just get a rag to clean you up first.”

“Please and thank you.”

He leans down as he climbs over me to kiss my lips again before exiting the bed and going into the bathroom. He comes back with a warm washcloth and runs it gently between my legs and over my sticky thighs before tossing it in the sink and getting back in bed next to me.

“Give me the remote?” He looks over at me from where he’s fixing his pillows behind his back.

“Here.” I grab the one from my nightstand and hand it to him.

He switches it to his left hand and starts pushing buttons to get to the show while his right arm hooks around my waist and hauls me against his side.

“Miss me already?” I whisper, as I snuggle against him.

“I always miss you when I’m not touching you,” he mumbles without looking at me.

“Oh.” That was sweet.

His hand slides down my back to curl around my ass, squeezing one of my cheeks between his large fingers.

Okay that’s less sweet. But I’m not complaining.

He sets the remote down, and I press my cheek to his chest, sliding my arm around his waist. He clears his throat, and I glance up at him before looking back at the T.V.

He doesn’t move for a whole minute, and I frown and look up at him again.

“Joon, are you okay?”

“Fuck this.”

I blink and stare at him as he suddenly slides out of bed and goes over to the pile of clean clothes he threw on the floor.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting, uh…aha. Here.” He throws something at me, and I flinch before catching what appears to be his favorite Kapital blue t-shirt.

“What is this?” I frown.

“A shirt. Put it on.”

“Why?”

“You’re…distracting.”

I raise my eyebrows at him. Standing there naked and sexy with muscles everywhere. And somehow I’m the one who’s distracting?

“Just put it on,” he sighs.

“Okay.” I slip it over my head. “Doesn’t this have matching pants?”

“Yes, but you don’t need those.”

“Oh? My ass isn’t distracting you?”

He immediately grabs the pants off the floor and steps into them.

“They’re for me. So you won’t be distracted.”

I look down at where his dick is barely hidden behind the soft fabric.

“I’m not sure how effective those are going to be.”

He sighs, and I press my lips together.

“Your ass,” he says in a low tone as he climbs back on the bed, “is very distracting, by the way.”

“Then why–”

“But regardless, I still want unrestricted access to it.”

His arm slides around me again as he leans back against his pillows, his giant palm returning to its place on my ass cheek and grabbing a handful.

“Okay,” I murmur, shifting my knee over his thigh. “You should start this episode over because I missed all of it.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

He grabs the remote again and goes back to the beginning while I relax into him, the softness of his shirt and his steady breathing making me feel calm all over.

“Joon,” I look up as he pulls the sheets up to our waists.

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” I whisper.

He blinks before bending his neck to kiss my forehead.

“I love you, too, baby.”

Then he slides his free arm around me, and I melt into him a little more before settling in to watch our show.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Translations:

Gwaenchanh-a – okay

Ssibal – fuck

Ne – yes

Choayo - good

[wonderlustlucas]

four - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt They say good things come in fours. Who? Couldn’t tell you, but they especially do during Christmas. Maybe that’s just Saint Nick. ⇢ pairing hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 11.7k ⇢ genre fluff ⇢ warnings swearing. mentions of alcohol & s e x. teenagerz being teenagerz. insane amount of fluff & stupidity. kind of ends w a smutty cliffhanger. ⇢ summary After suppressing how you felt about Hyunjin back in high school, you thought you were done going back on your feelings. Turns out, a little time apart, the spirit of Christmas, and an accidental nap is the perfect cocktail for falling in love with your best friend.—friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n hello & merry christmas! here is a gift for you all on this very merry day. also, thank you for 1,000 followers! that in itself is one of the best presents i could ask for. thank you for all your kindness & support on my blog & for following me in the first place! it truly means so much to me. i hope you enjoy reading! ♥︎

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Sorry! I just woke up

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Whats wrong fool

big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇[now] Did u rlly think 12 texts were gonna wake me up?🤦🏻‍♂️ godt damn u on some WACK shit

You roll your eyes in time with each consecutive text that Hyunjin sends, waiting for the lock screen of your phone to blacken after reading them. He’s about as useless as pedals on a wheelchair, you think, ignoring the texts and forcing the device into the snug back pocket of your jeans before transferring the last two excessively packed grocery bags into the trunk of your car with an exhausted huff. Christ, if the bagging lady put one more item in those bags, she would be the one to blame for six cans of soup rolling about the parking lot.

The license plate rattles when you slam the trunk lid closed before hurrying around to the driver’s side and anxiously hopping inside to start blasting the heat. It is obnoxiously chilly for the first of September. Well, not really. Your body is just beginning to get used to the ungodly wrath of summer’s sweltering heat leaving you in a constant state of sweat and nausea for the past three months. Not that you’re complaining, of course. You nearly did somersaults of joy when the morning news reported a temperature of sixty-one degrees with some wind gusts and welcomed the beginning signs of autumn with open arms.

You would never admit to Mom who told yo uon the way out to change out of a tank top or at least wear a jacket, but yes— you are, in fact, cold. But now you have godsent warmth blowing from the vents and the seat warmer on its highest setting beginning to thaw away the goosebumps painted on your skin. Giving your arms one last rub, you lean up enough to retrieve your phone and open the conversation with Hyunjin.

[2:37 PM] YN: please. smell my balls

[2:37 PM] YN: nothings wrong btw. i was GOING to ask if u wanted any specific snacks for tn buttttt someone didn’t answer

[2:37 PM] YN: and excuse u i called too. i may be an idiot but im not stupid

[2:38 PM] YN: ik u would never hear a text when ur having wet dreams of yeji

You stop there with a smug smirk when the three dots on his side appear, knowing you’ve hit his funny bone with this one.

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Bruh

[2:38 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇 :I’ve literally never have had a wet dream ab Yeji pls stop

You cannot fight your shit-eating grin, thumbs circling over the keyboard in thought as he apparently deletes whatever other text he was going to send when the three dots disappear.

[2:38 PM] YN: mmhmmmm

[2:38 PM] YN: because last time you slept over you weren’t whimpering her name in ur sleep

[2:38 PM] YN: sureeeee

You decide to end your teasing there and continue once you’re home. It is starting to get late, after all, and Mom will begin to worry that the creepy employee always in aisle sixteen has abducted you. Plus, you’re cruel and like to watch Hyunjin suffer. Switching the ringer off, you throw your phone into the cupholder and drastically lower the heat and turn off the seat warmer. It’s starting to feel like a sauna in here, and not in a fun way. Can’t understand how anyone enjoys hanging out in a sauna to begin with anyway, but to each their own, you guess.

In the five-minute drive it takes until you are pulling into the driveway, Hyunjin calls three times. He is incredibly peeved at your lack of a response to his distressed texts and still wound up from your text about Yeji. As if! You’re already a clown not realizing his ever-growing affections for you, but to think he had a crush on Yeji? You’re the whole damn circus!

By the time he calls a fifth time, now sat up on his elbow in bed and strumming an annoyed beat of his fingers at his thigh because he really just wants to yell at you for being the most annoying person alive (and maybe to hear your voice, too), you have brought in the last of the bags and look to Mom who has started to put the groceries away and expects you to half-heartedly do the same.

“It’s Hyunjin. He’s having an existential crisis because I haven’t answered his texts,” you explain to her, unenthusiastically holding your phone as it vibrates against your palm. Half of you wants her to ask to finish putting everything away first just so you can torture him even longer. Alas, such extravagant wishes are denied, because when it comes to Hyunjin, your parents would undoubtedly throw you under the bus just to keep that boy happy. And so, just like any other time, Mom’s undying love for Hyunjin has her dismissing you from the kitchen with a hearty laugh.

“Jesus Christ! What?” You hiss, halfway up the stairs when you tap to answer his call on the last ring.

“Wow! Look who finally decided to answer!” Hyunjin shouts back, the swoosh of his sheets once he finally falls back against his pillow again rustling all too loudly through the phone. “I was driving,” you spit, marching into your bedroom and collapsing against your bed, the same rustle of your blankets sounding loudly into his ear. “There’s a thing called the speaker, ___. Ever heard of it?” He retorts, evidently shutting you up and he knows he won this round if your silence is anything to go by.

“Whatever,” you groan, using all your toe strength to kick the sneakers off your feet by their soles, “what was so important that you couldn’t wait and had to call me five billion times?”

“I had a question. And you hurt my feelings.” Well, shit. You can practically hear and see his pout through the phone and your heart positively swells in your chest at how undeniably, unjustifiably cute he is. You sigh.

“I’m sorry for making fun of you about Yeji. I’m going to do it again but next time I promise I won’t pull the wet dream card,” you apologize frankly; because, in all honesty, it would be worse to say you are not going to do it again when you most certainly will. Bullying Hyunjin is fun, what can you say?

Hyunjin heaves an exasperated breath from his lungs because he knows there is no point in arguing with quite possibly the most sarcastic human he knows and that’s the best form of an apology he’s going to get. Whatever. He’ll make sure to wipe his morning snot and droll on your shirt in the morning. “Anyway,” he grumbles, in the background you hear Kkami bark from a few rooms over, “I was going to ask if you wanted to come over my place instead? I know your parents probably want to see me and stuff but mine are out of town for the night so we can sleep in my bed until like three without Mom waking us up to force feed breakfast.” You roll your eyes. Of course your parents want to see him.

“Plus, Mom just put that grey comforter I know you really like on my bed so we can cuddle all night and watch stuff on YouTube,” he quickly adds as a convincing afterthought. He’s really got his sales pitch going on this one. Truth is, you have only slept in his bed with that stupidly soft blanket twice last winter break, but it’s still sweet that he remembers how much you loved it (aka how quickly you fell asleep and how grumpy you were being woken up because it’s just that darn cozy). Either way, you would never pass up an opportunity to snuggle up with Hyunjin in the comfort of his own bed with his citrusy, floral scent on the pillows luring you to sleep.

“My Mom is going to be heartbroken, Hyunjin,” you tease, “but who cares. You had me sold at sleeping until three. Do you still want me to bring the snacks I got?”

“Oh, thank God. I love your Mom’s cooking but I haven’t left bed all day and I really want to keep it that way. And yes, please. I’ve been eating dry cereal for the past two hours.”

“Hyunjin, have you brushed your teeth yet?”

“No. Didn’t you just hear me? I said I’ve been in bed all day. Eating cereal. When would I have brushed my teeth?”

“You’ve officially taken breakfast in bed to a whole new level, Jin. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and please, you have no concept of personal space so make sure you brush your teeth before I come over.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Love ya, bye,” Hyunjin promptly hangs up, probably eager to get back to binging whatever drama he’s watching before you lecture him about his hygiene again. Not that it matters, anyway; chances are, it went in one ear and right out the other and you’re going to drag him out of bed later to brush his teeth.

Damn. You didn’t even get the chance to say love you back. Not that it matters.

It doesn’t, you quickly shut down the pesky thought that keeps you up at night and force it back into the storage part of your brain labeled ‘Deal with Later,’ because, really, you’ll have to think about that later. It’s not that you don’t want to think about it yet… you just don’t have the time to stop and really figure out what your feelings toward Hyunjin actually are. Yeah. That’s it.

And now isn’t the time, you tell yourself, scooting up the mattress in order to bury your face in the pillows to suffocate the pounding throb in your head. Hyunjin is nothing special.

Well, no. That’s a lie. Everything about Hyunjin is special. Anyone with eyes, ears, even a nose can sense that. You had quickly found out just how wonderful he is when you met him freshman year of high school. At the time, he was everyone’s sweetheart by the first day, but it just so happened his eyes were all on you.

He was obviously adorable, and every class you had together he always made a point to talk to you and returned your sarcasm with an impressive level of expertise. So, when it came to him asking you to the first homecoming, the answer was yes without a second thought. But during the last slow dance of the night, with his hands gently holding your waist, he at last listened to his conscience and revealed that as much as he liked you, he truly did not want to date in high school. Or right then, at least. And honestly, you were glad; Hyunjin was quite possibly your favorite person you had met thus far, and you would have rather kept him as a friend than commit to a relationship the second month of school and risk losing him later down the road.

And boy, keep him as a friend you did. As it turned out, Hyunjin grew to be your truest, best friend in high school. Sure, you each had your own friend groups, but the two of you were the iconic pair everybody knew. But strictly platonic, despite the rumors and wishes that went around for the next four years. You like to think that neither of you ever developed feelings past what everyone feels toward their best friend— an innocent, wholesome sort of love.

But when had things changed? Hormones, as always, were definitely a big part of it. Hyunjin was always a cutie, but it wasn’t until he grew into his own skin and developed a newfound confidence did you start to see him differently. Until everyone saw him differently. Neither of you missed the way people stared him down, pupils dilating every time he ran his fingers through the black tufts of his hair, hearts aching for some sort of interaction. Or when you started attending parties, groups of girls would fling themselves at him in a blundering disarray, most of which he would turn down with a gentle dismissal that flew over their heads, too drunk to actually care.

But then there were times his dick made the decision for him, desperation and deprivation weighing in on him and you’d watch with a tight jaw as he’d leave the room with the pretty girl of the night skipping after him. You never realized it was only on those nights did you wind up in the back seat of Han Jisung’s car.

But even after the physical attraction sizzled out over time, things were not the same. Hyunjin wasn’t your hidden little treasure anymore. All eyes were set on him and it took more than a glass of water to swallow your jealousy. But why? Why were you so resentful all of a sudden?

It’s hard to share Hwang Hyunjin, you decided. Once established that you were his main hoe and he was yours, it became a significant burden watching others try and get in between. Not that they did it with a malicious attempt to separate you, but it still hurt. You’re selfish, and you admit it— Hyunjin, quite frankly, is the love of your life. Romantic or not, nothing could change your feelings toward him. It goes beyond his unfathomable beauty and spunky personality. Everything about him from his nose to his hands, to his distaste for onions and the way his face scrunches up when he lets out that giggle of his and even to the way he prefers to sleep against the wall but will force you to when you’re over so he can “protect you in case there’s a monster” all mount into this big, giant section of your heart set aside for Hyunjin.

So despite your efforts to ignore the pang of jealousy each time he would find a potential someone or the joy whenever he’d find his way back because “they kept wanting to hang out in the morning even though I said I don’t wake up before noon,” this Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart seems to only grow the longer you ignore it. Kind of like every medical condition out there: the longer you ignore it, the worse it gets. So, basically Hyunjin is your heart disease.

Yikes. Sounds a lot worse when you try putting it into words.

Well, he won’t be your heart defect for long if he keeps ruining those pearly whites of his by only brushing once just before bed, you chuckle to yourself, rolling to your side at the sudden lack of oxygen between your face and the pillow. There’s a fleeting moment without thought when you unconsciously reach for your phone to check for any notifications before the fattest revelation of them all falls from the ceiling and smacks you right upside the face.

Shit. Looks like you’ve gone right ahead and totally dissected each and every fiber of your feelings for Hyunjin.

Blinking up at the ceiling, the weight of your emotions isn’t as heavy as you expected them to be. Instead, it’s more of a breath of fresh air, as if you have finally accepted the way things fell instead of ignoring them. Your feelings for Hyunjin have always been there. It just took a little effort to get them out.

Nevertheless, it is going to be difficult hanging out with him in a few hours with your exposed emotions still needing to be processed. Especially when he will pull you to his side and keep you nestled there the entire night. Rubbing your temples, you realize it will take some serious self-control to put everything on the back burner and just enjoy the time spent with Hyunjin.

Sighing, you check the time on your phone again. 3:21 and a text from Hyunjin asking if you could bring green tea.

“Mom!” You yell, defeated. “You were right!”

You used to think Hyunjin lived far away. Truthfully, he’s only fifteen minutes away if you go ten over the speed limit. But the only way to get to his house entails driving through the chaos of the mall and town center, which adds an extra ten minutes sitting through traffic no matter the time of day.

Now, Hyunjin’s college campus is two hours away. Well, technically five from you, since you’re almost three hours away in the opposite direction. So you’re lucky if you get to see him once a month with how hectic school becomes and how difficult it is trying to plan to come home the same weekend. Fortunately, it has worked out this semester. And while you should spend this time with your families, they know how much you crave one another’s company as the weeks drag on. The twenty-two minutes it takes getting to each other’s homes is totally worth it.

You expect Hyunjin to tell you to use the key hidden underneath the resin meditating frog statue in the front garden to unlock the front door when you text him you have arrived, but to your utmost surprise, he’s there, awake, to open the door for you.

“Stinky!” You yell, dropping your things on the floor to burry yourself in his embrace, standing on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck in order to really get the full experience of hugging your favorite giant. “Poopy!” He shouts in return, long arms winding tightly around your waist and even going so far as to lift you up a few inches. God. Hate when he does that.

“Why are you up? I thought I’d have to let myself in with you sleeping all your problems away,” you ask, smiling gratefully when he bends down to pick up your bag. “I realized Kkami hadn’t been out all day, so I came down to let him out and find actual food,” Hyunjin explains as he makes way into the kitchen, opening the back door to let said dog back inside. “Aw, poor thing,” you pout, squatting to scratch at Kkami’s neck when he zooms faster than the speed of light to you, “does that mean you brushed your teeth?”

“I did, actually,” Hyunjin snorts right back, scrunching his nose at you before turning away to open the fridge. Sitting on the floor with Kkami in your lap, you take the opportunity to finally get a good look at Hyunjin now that he’s distracted. And of course, he looks good. Really good. Last time you saw him he still was a brunette, a look he rocked during the spring and summer months. This is the first time you’ve seen the freshly dyed black hair in person. Even though he always looks handsome, something about Hyunjin with black hair completely changes his aura. Brings back memories of how badly you wanted him in high school. You shiver at the thought.

And, to top it all off, how he manages to stay in such disgustingly good shape despite his atrocious eating habits never ceases to amaze you. Like, come on. The boy eats worse than a raccoon seven days out of the week, lives off boba, works out maybe five times a month, dances in his free time and still keeps his body in tiptop shape. God, you hate him. His pediatrician probably hates him, too. You even go as far as to sniff the fries in your dining hall and you gain five pounds.

Even now, he looks unnecessarily regal in the baggy material of his sweatpants and flannel. And the warmth of his kitchen’s ambient lighting does nothing to suppress the heavy thumping of your heart. So casual is his dress, yet how immaculate he looks rummaging the cabinets for a snack.

“Are you hungry?” He asks, the familiar softness of his voice shaking you from your daze as he closes the refrigerator door after his unsuccessful search. Here’s the thing: you really aren’t hungry, but Hyunjin clearly is, so if you say no then all he will be thinking about is food until you decide that you are hungry. “Yeah,” is what you say, nudging Kkami off your crossed legs to stand, “I brought green tea and a few snacks, but we could order Chinese food or something. The place near Dunkin’ and the gas station makes bubble tea now, too.”

Hyunjin’s brows shoot up, flashing his boxy smile. “Is it good?”

“I mean, I’ve only had their pork dumplings and mango tea before, and it was pretty good. I don’t know about their noodles or anything, though,” you shrug, moving to stand beside him at the kitchen island. Distracted by Kkami trying to jump onto the sofa in the living room, you don’t look to Hyunjin until the poor dog is successful in doing so. Startled to find him already gazing down at you, your heart truly is not prepared for him to go right ahead and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Totally not freaking out or trying to overthink his need to constantly cling, you justify his actions by quickly recalling the time he said, “My head is too godtdamn big for my godtdamn body.” More like his head is too heavy because instead of a brain it’s just a chunk of cement up there. He just needs to rest his head sometimes.

Yeah.

“Mm, I don’t know,” Hyunjin hums, swaying your body with his to an unheard tune. By now, any coherent thought has dissipated into thin air and all you can do is melt against him. “Why?” You manage.

“’Cus if we order anything that means I’ll have to get up and get it.”

“Oh my God, Hyunjin, really?” You laugh. Your hands naturally glide to where his are linked at your stomach, pressing to interlock your fingers overtop his. “If that’s the only reason for your uncertainty than I could always come get it, idiot.”

“No! It’s okay,” Hyunjin says, jumping back before you can even process it, “I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“Ohhh ‘kay,” you laugh breathlessly, whiplashed by the whole thing. Good thing you aren’t hungry, because when was the last time Hyunjin turned down food? Blinking at him precariously, he doesn’t seem to notice until one too many seconds of silence pass by.

“C’mon,” he demands excitedly, jumping back into reality, “my roommate told me to watch this anime called Soul Eater but I wanted to watch it with you.” Once again, before anything can even register past every single That Was Cute™ alarm ringing in your brain, Hyunjin is grabbing your bag and reaching for your hand, leading you out of the kitchen and upstairs.

You and Hyunjin binge aforementioned anime until he falls asleep first around 2 AM, only stopping to order food an hour in (he’s an indecisive man indeed), to get up to retrieve it, and to actually eat while catching up. For most of the night, you are able to forget the way his heartbeat against your back mirrored your own in the kitchen. But then, a little while after you fall asleep yourself, Hyunjin unconsciously shifts closer and you spend another hour blinking at his relaxed hand twitching against your abdomen, trying to keep the hurricane inside your heart at bay.

You can’t make it home October. Hyunjin texted you to let you know he was going to be the third weekend in, and you tried desperately to manage your time in order to make it work. But one group project in chem lead to another paper in psych and before you knew it, your roommate was listening to you sob over a boy and curse out your classes.

September left you emotionally wrecked, to be totally honest. You hate Hyunjin and you hate the way he makes you feel and you especially hate how realizing you have a crush on him makes you unsure if everything he does is his way of hinting he feels the same or if he’s always been this touchy and you are just now recognizing it. So, missing a month of seeing your favorite human being essentially means missing another day of trying to decipher which actions of his go in the Friend list, and which go in the Questionable list. And that, my friend, is unacceptable.

You absolutely cannot not go home this month. November is the calm before the storm (the storm being exams looming the second week of December), and while it would be beneficial maybe staying on campus to continue preparing, you tell yourself going home will be just as helpful. Mental breaks, and stuff. Totally not just to see Hyunjin.

Either way, Hyunjin asks you if you would join him on the seventeenth to go to his second cousin’s christening and you absolutely cannot say no when you know how bored Hyunjin gets at family events when they aren’t for him. And so, fast forward to the third Sunday of November and you are ready to pass out ten minutes after entering the church.

“I’m so happy for you two! I always knew you would last into college,” one of Hyunjin’s aunts exclaims, pinching your cheeks but the only pinch you feel is that of your heart.

Clearly she is misinformed, or just prone to jumping to conclusions but yet again, you can’t really blame her with how couple-y you and Hyunjin are. Past the single tunnel vision of your gaze, you watch her smile falter when Hyunjin goes rigid beside you and oh my God this is the most embarrassing moment of my life, his whole family thinks we’re dating and here we are still stuck in each other’s friendz—

“I’m glad you think so, imo,” Hyunjin suddenly picks up, sneaking an arm around to rest his hand on your hip, tugging you close, “I don’t know what I’ll do if she ever decides to leave me.”

It’s nice to think that he means it, to imagine that you are here not as a tag-along but to join him in a family ceremony because you are part of the family. The thought turns your blood to sugar and everything surrounding you falls apart; you listen to the rest of their conversation without processing it, the precise detailing in the marble pillars blurs into a mass of white, and you still feel his strong hold on the curve of your waist yet you are lost in the swam of possibilities.

How lovely it would be to live up to her assumption. To ‘last into college’ as a couple, not as best friends. To be able to call him yours even when you’re not together, to come home and kiss his lips, to sleep in his bed and it mean more than the laziness of blowing up the air mattress. At some point, he leads you into the third pew to sit beside his parents, and when you greet them with a hug all you can think about is them viewing you as more than their son’s friend.

God, you hate it.

You’re not as religious as Hyunjin and his family. But for the first time in years, you find yourself looking to the crucifix during the service and praying to whoever is up there to give you some strength and patience, because Lord do you need it.

Hyunjin is a funny guy.

Or so he thinks.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. It’s just— compared to your friends Minho or Changbin, he isn’t at the top of the list. When you think of Hyunjin, the first words that pop up are soft, loud, and dramatic.

It’s not that he isn’t funny. He’s just weird.

Insanely, ridiculously weird. For example, the time he called Jeongin a vitamin. Or the time he slapped half a bottle of sunscreen on his face. Or his random bouts of dancing at inappropriate moments. Just to name a few.

After the Baptism, Hyunjin acted like nothing happened. Didn’t even bring it up. Not even a joke. After the ceremony, you joined his family for a luncheon, which just involved the two of you being weird and making peculiar dancing videos on SnapChat with the swirly filter and complaining about school for a few hours until he drove you home. Obviously you stopped for food again on the way.

But that was it. Things went on as normal, and you returned to campus later that night and forced the whole experience to the back of your brain. It was officially grind season, and grind season meant studying for exams. No parties. No boys. And certainly no Hyunjin.

You both were home for winter break in the blink of an eye. And in normal Hyunjin style, he sort of vanished for the first week. Probably catching up on his strict sleeping schedule, you presumed, and accepted the fact that it was going to be a few days before you saw or even heard from him. The only anticipation you felt was wanting to give him his Christmas gift.

After what seems like an eternity away from Hyunjin, you get out of the shower on this fine Saturday before Christmas to find a slew of texts from him.

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Aloha mamacita

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: How do u feel about getting froyo tn

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can get fat and then u can sleepover aaaand

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: We can stare at the wall for a few hours

[5:52 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: And

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: *cough*

[5:53 PM] big tiddy jinny🍯🧸🌟🖇: Exchange Jesus gifts

See? Weird. Who wants froyo when it’s thirty degrees out?

[5:53 PM] YN: “aloha mamacita”

[5:53 PM] YN: uHmmmMMM

[5:53 PM] YN: im down mr president

[5:54 PM] YN: why do u want ice cream in winter tho. don’t u want like

[5:54 PM] YN: hot chocolate or seomthing

Obviously not. Two hours later, Hyunjin arrives to pick you up for froyo despite all your efforts in convincing him maybe you could take the train to the city and watch a light show, or simply drive around and swoon over the rich people houses and their Christmas decorations. He didn’t budge. This leads you to your second question of the day: why is it that when you threw on sweats for the occasion you called yourself a hag, but upon entering Hyunjin’s car you make a mental note of how hot he looks when he’s wearing the same exact thing? You groan at the thought. It’s because it’s Hyunjin, of course.

“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” he greets, flicking your forehead once you settle into the seat of his Subaru WRX because he’s a hotshot and likes to flex that he can drive a manual. Not really— the car is absolute garbage by now, having been his Dad’s old car (his Dad likes to flex too, apparently). However, Hyunjin takes care of it enough for it to seem five years old instead of ten, and, either way, watching him work the stick shift is unexplainably hot.

You swat his hand away. “Drive, bitch,” you huff, twisting to buckle yourself in. Once he’s reversed out of your driveway, you glance back to find him fighting against a devilish smirk.

“So,” you start once he has navigated out of your neighborhood. His brow twitches up. “Are you taking Hawaiian and French at school? You’ve been throwing quite a lot of languages at me recently.” Hyunjin shoots you an unamused look. You return it with a wrinkle of your nose.

“Anyway,” he ignores your teasing, pausing to switch gears for whatever reason so he can make it through a yellow light, “how did your exams go?”

“Well, you know…” You trail off, looking to your window. It feels a lot later than eight o’clock. With it getting dark so early in the evening nowadays, it feels as if nighttime is always following you.

“You know… what?” Hyunjin interrupts your daze, concern laced in his voice. “They were fine. I passed everything, I’m just worried about my major,” you explain sadly, barely glancing at him before you are turning back to the window to stare at the moon. Must be nice being a moon. Just get to hang out in the sky watching everyone and being watched.

“I mean, if you want to switch, now’s the time. Better do it now before the second semester,” Hyunjin advises, wise as always. Not really, but he’s right. “What are you thinking of going into?”

Yikes. He’s going to kill you.

“Nursing,” you blurt.

“Oh my Lanta, ___, are you serious?” He groans, stopping at a convenient red light presenting the perfect opportunity for him to smack his forehead on the wheel. Dramatic. “How are you gonna manage that? You’ll practically be two years behind everyone else!”

“I know,” you sigh, throwing your head back on the headrest, “that’s the problem. Bio just isn’t doing it for me. I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life in a lab watching mitosis. I need something more rewarding, so theoretically nursing is a perfect start. I don’t know, though.”

“Why don’t you switch to interior design or something? We could get our own HGTV show, ___,” he says, but you don’t meet his gaze when he glances over because beneath his words, you can sense some serious hopefulness. Interior design would be cool, but you’ve never considered that as a career choice. You once helped your parents pick out everything when they redid a bathroom at home and that turned out great, but as a major?

“I don’t know, man. I’ll have to talk to my counselor about it, I guess,” you shrug, pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head and tightening the drawstrings until the material covers your eyes, “why can’t you audition to be a K-pop star or something? I could be your manager. Heck, even your makeup artist. I’ve done your makeup before, remember?”

Hyunjin laughs, loud, and the sound sinks deep into your heart and makes you feel warm all over. Stress? Gone.

For the next few minutes or so, the ride is comfortably quiet. At some point, he turns on the radio and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” floods your brain and reminds you to look forward to exchanging Christmas gifts later. God, you hope he likes it. You really went out on the sentimental gifts this year.

Hood shielding your vision, you jump when his large hand suddenly comes to grab the top of your head, squeezing hard and you imagine he’s trying to press some hopefulness into your brain. “Hand on the penis stick, Hwang,” you bark, blindly reaching for his own head across the way and pulling his ear when you do so. Good Lord, you hope no one can see into the car because… what.

Hyunjin lets out a giggle this time, reaching to pull you into a headlock and even though he’s got your head shoved up against his sturdy chest and goes on to give you a noogie, you’re stuck being all high and loopy on the sound of his happiness. And hey, it’s nice to know you’re the cause of it.

“We’re literally parked, idiot. If you had your hood down you would’ve realized,” Hyunjin snickers, releasing you after watching you struggle for a few seconds. Jerking away from him, you swiftly pull back your hood. “Oh,” you laugh, reading the flashy Yogo Factory sign above the building in front of you, “you could’ve just told me instead of watching me bask in misery.”

Hyunjin suitably ignores your moaning and groaning by getting out of the car and standing in front of the car, illuminated by the headlights. Why? Why must he look so scrumptious in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants and four-year-old white Nike sneakers? He has no gosh darn right!

After fixing the mess he made of your hair, you at last join him outside the car, shooting him another glare and moving ahead of him to open the shop’s door without waiting for him. “From now on, we have to start texting each other what we’re wearing before we go out, ‘cus this looks a little ri-donk-ulous,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear as you make your way to the cup selection, trying to ignore all the stares you— no, he is getting along the way.

“What do you mean?” You ask, plucking two medium sized cups up before turning to look at him. Then you look down at yourself. Oh. Looks like you’re both wearing the hoodie from junior spirit week. “Nice.” Just Couple Things™!

Back to Hyunjin being weird— why did he drag you all the way out here just to get a cup of chocolate frozen yogurt and maybe half a scoop of peanut butter chips?

Meanwhile, he watches in absolute disgust as you blow through your own dessert. Vanilla yogurt with probably every topping offered because you physically cannot make a decision, especially when they have chunks of cookie dough up there.

“So,” Hyunjin starts, trying not to look you in the eye considering you look like a goblin shoveling globs of diabetes down your throat, “have you talked to Jisung recently?”

You choke on a Fruity Pebble at his inquiry, prompting him to reach across the table and slap your back a few times until your esophagus is cleared. “Ugh,” clearing your throat one last time, you take a few sips of water while shooting him a glare. Jisung? Really? “How dense are you?” You hiss unintentionally.

Hyunjin raises his hands in defense. “Just a question.”

Yeah, just a question. Dumbass. “I mean,” you laugh awkwardly, “not really. We have a streak on Snap and sometimes we’ll talk occasionally but I don’t text him every day or anything. How about you?”

He shrugs, concentrating instead on stirring his yogurt into a goopy mess. “Eh. We still use our group chat a lot but that’s it. He’s too busy making music in Malaysia.”

You chuckle at this, picking out the boba from your own cup and leaving the rest now that it has started to look like something sold at the Chum Bucket. “That sucks,” you offer, not the best at giving him consolidation, you opt for linking your feet around his own in some weird act of intimacy, “isn’t he coming home for the holidays, though? I’m sure you can all have a reunion soon.”

“Yeah, he is,” Hyunjin hums, suddenly too focused on trying to escape your trap under the table. Annoyed Hyunjin is cute. “Stoooop,” he whines, kicking at your shins before breaking into boisterous laughter at your relentlessness, “I will not hesitate to throw this cup at your face.”

“Yeah, right,” you scoff, “I’d like to see you try.”

At this, Hyunjin drops his stupidly long arms beneath the table and easily captures your foot by the ankle, pulling hard enough for you to slip down your side of the booth. “Hyunjin!” You shriek, panicking slightly at your sweaty hand’s insecure grip against the leather. You’re going to fall. You’re going to fall flat on your ass underneath a table at a frozen yogurt place because the boy you like pulled your foot too hard. Fantastic. Ignoring you, he starts to wiggle your shoe off your foot no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his relentless grip. “Stop trying to eat my toes in the middle of Yogo!”

Finally, he releases your foot, letting it fall limp against his thigh.

“God,” you huff, breathless as you squirm back up your seat, cheeks burning ferociously, “you are such an ass.”

Behind the playful smirk he fails to hide, something darker glints in Hyunjin’s eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat. Then, “We should go.” The suggestion makes the heat of your blush scorch even hotter down your neck and you instinctively turn away, only to find the customers on the other side of the shop watching you with just as perturbed looks. Fantastic, part two.

“Okie,” you squeak out, blinking after him in complete and total bewilderment as to what just happened when he gets up to throw his trash away. Whatever. Following after him, you too toss your cup out before quickly finding your hand engulfed by his larger one as he leads you back outside, the sudden sharpness of the cold air bringing tears to your eyes. You desperately want to ask him what that was about, or why he’s acting so sneaky, but you stay silent, too afraid your voice will come out shaky and vulnerable. Instead, you let him tug you into his side and try to keep up with him no matter how badly your knees threaten to buckle with each glance you sneak up at him.

It’s silent when you enter the car, watching warily as he reverses out of the parking spot and maneuvers through the lot. Your heart rate seemingly cannot slow itself down, adrenaline taking the place of oxygen the longer you stare at him, at the concentrated scrunch to his face, at the cute tip of his button nose and at the swell of his lips and you distantly wonder what would happen if you pulled him into a kiss at the next red light.

In the midst of your daydream Hyunjin clears his throat, bringing you back to reality and you realize with a startle that he has caught you. Jesus Christ! What has gotten into you? You mentally smack yourself upside the head, instantly turning away from his cocky little gaze and staring straight ahead in search of something else to focus on. “___,” he sing-songs, slow and sensual and entirely demolishing the walls you have built around yourself. It is at this red light you wish to simply open the door and run.

“Yes?” You manage, wincing at how small your voice sounds and while looking out his window instead of into his eyes, you notice him grip the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white. The tension is insurmountable, weighing in heavily on your chest and you desperately wish to arrive home, even though that means having to survive the next twelve hours with him. Anything is better than the small confines of his car.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks, cool as a cucumber. You pale. It is a dangerous question and you do not know if he realizes that. “Um,” you cough, scooting to sit up straight, “whatever you want.” You whisper the last part, genuinely petrified because you have absolutely no idea if your brain is twisting everything to make it seem like Hyunjin is flirting or if things are totally normal. No idea.

“Hm,” he offers, tilting his head in thought, “we shall see.”

Yeah. We shall.

The rest of the ride is quiet, comfortably or uncomfortably you cannot say because you are too busy trying to calm the Spongebob burning office scene occurring inside your own head, hopelessly telling yourself that everything is fine, Hyunjin’s fine, you’re fine. Just pretend like nothing happened, you tell yourself when Hyunjin pulls into his driveway with practiced ease. “Ugh,” he groans after retrieving your bag from the back seat, and you watch with a raised brow as he skips up to his porch, yelling, “I have to pee!”

“Begone with you, piss boy,” you tease, holding the screen door open for him as he struggles to unlock the storm door and pulling on one of his hoodie’s drawstrings just to annoy him. “Stop,” he growls, low and playful but nevertheless sending a swarm of butterflies to your tummy. You ignore him. Finally unlocking the door, Hyunjin shoves the keys into his pocket and seizes your wrist, yanking your arm down with enough force to nearly topple you into him. “Why are you being so annoying tonight?” He frowns at you, nose and brows scrunched in irritation and it is only because of his proximity do you finally soften up.

“Sorry,” you pout back, bringing your other hand up to boop his nose, “I just missed ya.”

“Ew,” he snorts, stepping past the threshold and kicking off his shoes. You follow suit, closing the door behind you and clicking the lock into place as Kkami comes sprinting over. “B-R-B,” Hyunjin announces, presumably bouncing away to the bathroom.

“Oh, boy,” you huff, squatting to pick up the fluffy little dog and hugging him close to your chest, “your dad is making my life very difficult.” Pressing a quick kiss to the top of his head, you put Kkami back down and grab your bag before heading upstairs, knowing Hyunjin is going to take his grand old time and probably take a shit while he’s at it. Plus, you’re impatient and dying to take your bra off.

Aside from what light his Gudetama nightlight offers, Hyunjin’s room is ultimately left dark. Here’s the thing: he used to have a lamp on his dresser, but then he took it with him to college and only brings it home for summer because he’s lazy and sleeps the majority of the time he’s home, anyway. Instead, he put up his little remote-controlled Christmas tree in addition to the lava lamp he has beside his bed. Perfect. For Hyunjin, at least.

Switching both of these on, their subtle glow offers just enough to keep you from banging your toe against something. It’s happened one too many times. Hyunjin’s room isn’t messy— he really isn’t a messy person to begin with, but he will reorganize the furniture in his room fifty times a year and you never know where the crooked leg to his bedside table will be to ambush your pinky toe.

Setting your bag onto his bed, you excitedly fumble past all your layers and unclasp your bra, maneuvering out of it with a delighted exhale just as Hyunjin begins his ascent up the stairs, steps creaking loudly under his heavy trudging. “I’m an idiot,” he grumbles, leaning against the doorframe to catch his breath.

You don’t bother to look at him, opting to quickly retort instead, “We been knew.”

“Ugh,” Hyunjin groans, exasperated, and you finally turn to him after successfully jamming aforementioned undergarment into your bag, “anyways. I don’t know why I didn’t just come up here, because I have to wash my face anyway and you do too and now we’re both going to have to share a sink.”

“Aw,” you coo, tone dripping with sarcasm as you pat his arm, “poor baby has to share the bathroom.”

“I’m actually going to strangle you,” he sighs, nevertheless following after you into the bathroom.

“Kinky.”

Hyunjin glares, unamused as he opens a drawer for his pink bow hairband and your striped pink and blue one that he bought for you, but keeps here for sleepovers. Yeah. He throws it to your face. “Sorry,” you offer, pulling the soft headband up to hold your hair back, “I’ll try to stop. I’m just so used to annoying you.”

“Clearly,” he scoffs, flashing his stupidly cute teasing smile and in your head, you imagine raising a white flag in surrender— he’s got you, he’s won, it’s over. Time to call it quits and head home. Evidently shut up (for now), you offer him a roll of your eyes before turning on the sink to wet your hands before pumping out some of his scrumptious watermelon face wash. Maybe if you scrub hard enough, you’ll manage to rinse away all the overwhelming thoughts of the night, too.

Barefaced Hyunjin is immaculate. Well, Hyunjin is immaculate twenty-four hours out of the day, but barefaced, freshly washed, hair messy, ready for bed Hyunjin is immaculate, and you are one of the few people lucky enough to see this eighth wonder of the world as often as you do.

Now, maybe it has something to do with the unexpected ambiance the light from his laptop, Christmas lights, and lava lamp have created together that makes him look so unfairly beautiful at this given moment. Or, you’re just insanely pussywhipped and looking for an excuse. You try not to think about it.

“Why are you so squirmy tonight?” He asks, frustrated enough to interrupt Kermit singing ‘Shawty I don’t mind’ playing from his laptop. “I’m not,” you defend, a weak argument indeed, given that you have just finished adjusting your position beside him for the umpteenth time.

“I mean, four female Ghostbusters? The feminists are taking over! I’m an ad—”

“___, you’ve touched my dick like four times. Don’t try and tell me you’re not squirmy. What’s wrong?” Hyunjin interrupts a second Vine, and even goes on to talk over ‘I have the power of God and anime on my side!’ like a lunatic. Oh Christ, you have? Surely you would have noticed. “Sorry,” you mumble, embarrassed as you bury your face into the curve of his pectoral and instinctively move your leg settled between his away, “I’m just hot, to be honest.” Technically, it is not a lie. Hyunjin’s family definitely keeps their thermostat at a higher temperature than yours and you always manage to sweat your ass off every time you come over. This time, however, you are certain it has more to do with the assault your heart is facing rather than your sweat glands.

At the sound of his tap against the spacebar to pause the video, you wordlessly and reluctantly sit up from your comfortable spot beside him in order to rid yourself of your heavy sweatshirt. Now, here lies the problem. Sweatshirt: off. Nipples: out. Realistically, Hyunjin has seen your boobs a number of times over the past few years, and even if he hadn’t, he probably wouldn’t even bat an eye. But right now, your heart is on the line, you’re embarrassed and you’re trying to play it extremely safe.

You toss the hoodie to the floor and nestle right back where you were anyway, slinging your right arm over his torso and ignoring his sharp intake of breath when you snuggle closer. “Better?” He asks, voice strained and it literally makes you nauseous. “Yep.”

He resumes the video. You had started early in the night watching Pom Poko, which unsurprisingly ended with the two of you crying at the bittersweet ending, then moved to TikTok compilations on YouTube to cheer up before moving on from them and onto the classic Vine compilations. You paid good attention for the most part, chuckling along with him to ‘What up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen and I never fucking learned how to read,’ ‘Bruh chill, I don’t know why you in a big time rush,’ and all the other absolute comedic masterpieces. But after the fourth or fifth video of the same six second clips with an occasional rare one, you began to grow bored and decided to do what you do best: admire Hyunjin.

Sure, ‘Come get yo juice!’ followed by the loud smash of the oven made you smile, but you found the flashing lights casting shadows beneath Hyunjin’s eyes and lips much more fascinating. Of course, this is not the first time you have been held so close to him. But it is, however, all too easy to get lost in the sight of him and you’ve noticed recently that you are in desperate need of a map. Whether it’s due to your time away from him or simply an appreciation for untouched beauty you do not know.

Even now, your gaze flickers to his laptop once you hear ‘Get to Del Taco,’ but having already watched it five thousand times you tilt your head upward to catch Hyunjin’s silent giggle at ‘free-sha-voca-do.’ It’s a vicious cycle, really, going back and forth between wanting to simply enjoy the night and realizing enjoying the night lies totally in Hyunjin’s presence. And so, you continue to fall into this trap each time until you pay no mind to the videos at all, basking in the brilliance of Hyunjin’s joyous smile and the warmth his happiness makes you feel. It is this thought that slowly tugs you to sleep, a fight to keep your heavy eyelids open lost until finally, you give in to the comfort and allow yourself to drift off to the sound of ‘Step the fuck up, Kyle.’

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

“___,” the softness of Hyunjin’s voice at the crown of your head eases you from the clutches of sleep and you stretch your locked limbs before curling further into his side. “We didn’t open presents.” Even though you can’t see him, you can hear his pout, and you realize you must be awake to hear the disappointed words caught sluggishly between his lips so vividly. You hum, hesitant to open your eyes because you really want to go back to sleep. Just for a little while. And so, you ask, “What time is it?”

“Just past two,” he whispers.

You hum again, trying to formulate a sensible sentence in the parts of your brain still asleep, “We can… wake up at four. And open gifts. Okay?”

“Okay, weirdo,” Hyunjin chuckles to himself, sliding lower down the mattress after shutting his laptop.

You think you are dreaming.

You think.

You can’t remember ever falling asleep facing each other. But yet again, your brain is clouded beyond capability and now, you know for certain you are dreaming. Hyunjin never faces you.

Blinking slowly, it takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust to the impenetrable darkness and you struggle to make out the features of Hyunjin’s face. You know you are dreaming, and so you tug him closer, throwing a leg over his thigh and an arm over his waist. Even in your sleep, you feel the sadness pricking at your heart, for even it knows this is only what dreams are made of. You like to make the best of it.

“You know I love you, Jinnie, right?” Your voice comes out funny, drawn out and mumbled like your tongue is numb and you fight the urge to feel for yourself.

“Of course I do. I love you too.” His reply surprises you. You thought he was asleep and, either way, hearing such fond words from him puts your heart at ease. He must be misunderstood.

“No. I mean like… I like you, love you. Like I want to kiss you… kiss you good morning and before bed love you. Send you hearts and take stupid couple pics and… go on dumb dates love you. You know?” Your words feel garbled and incomprehensible the longer you go on, trying to express how you feel when nothing is real proving to be increasingly difficult. God, if only you could do it when things are real.

You start to feel yourself slipping as he mutters a reply, mind in free fall and fuck, fuck, fuck, he’s whispering and you can’t hear him but you are too tired and helpless to wake yourself up to hear it. No, too lost in the next dream to go back. You can’t tell what is real and what isn’t. Christ, were you awake? You can’t tell. All you know is that you are warm, so, so warm and letting sleep take over you once more is the best answer to all your questions.

Hyunjin always says he hates waking people up. Because he’s normally the one needing to be awoken, whenever the roles are swapped he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

This time, however, he takes it upon himself to repeatedly smack your face with his pillow. Not a fun experience when it’s coming from someone who fails to recognize his own strength. “Jesus, fuck! Okay!” You hiss, the cloud of sleep abruptly ripped away from you with the slap of his pillow against your skin. Arms raised defensively in front of you, you catch his next swing and tear the pillow out of his grasp to shield yourself all before you have even opened your eyes. When you do so, with the blatant intention just to find where he is and hurl the pillow at him, you are met with the harsh light from his ceiling fan and have to squint past the stinging white light to see his shit-eating grin.

“Was that necessary?” You groan, undeniably annoyed and wanting to glare at him more but needing to rub the ache out of your eyes. “Yes,” is all he says, reaching for your bag and catapulting it to you. He is incredibly lucky you are quick enough to catch it before it thumps against your head. What has gotten into him? Did he eat an entire bag of Pixy Stix while you were asleep? You watch, still dazed from sleep and reeling from the whole pillow smacking attack, as he flings open his closet door and turns back around with two neatly wrapped boxes. You squint to make out the dancing Santa T-rex wrapping paper.

“Oh,” you chirp, understanding, and you unzip your bag to retrieve the large box taking up the majority of space, “thanks for waking me up. I’m surprised you remembered. Did you stay up?”

A rosy blush burns its way across his cheekbones. Odd. “I, um— yeah. No, actually,” he stutters, really odd, given he was bouncing off the walls not even thirty seconds ago, “I set an alarm. You made me sleepy.” Hyunjin sits beside you once you have scooted over, leaning against the wall and crossing his long ass legs. He keeps his eyes trained on the boxes in his hands. “Oh,” you hum, looking to your own gift and suddenly wishing for the mattress to swallow you up, “sorry. I haven’t gotten as much sleep as you on break so far.”

“I don’t think anyone ever has,” he jokes and you finally look to him, sharing a cheeky smile before he gets all shy again, tongue darting out to wet his lips, “um, Merry Christmas, ___.”

It’s a simple phrase, but it makes your heart swell. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hyunjin.” Leaning over, you wrap your arms around his shoulders in an awkward side hug, but still end up feeling all drunk and loopy on love when he eagerly returns the gesture, arms curling around you.

“Okay,” you huff, sitting back, “me first.” You dramatically hold your gift out to him, jittery and nervous all over. Buying for Hyunjin is always hard. He’s just so easy to please, but when you want to do more than just please him it’s a constant battle trying to decide how far out you are going to go for him each year.

You watch impatiently as he tears the wrapping paper open first, and then finally lifts the flaps of the box up. “Aw,” he whimpers, pulling out the quokka plushie and attached certificate, “you adopted a quokka for me?”

You grin when he hugs the soft stuffed animal to his chest, the weight on your shoulders partly lifted from his positive reaction. He reaches back into the box, brow scrunched in thought as he regards the framed picture. “The First Day…?” Hyunjin asks, perplexed as he reads the title above the constellation poster. You scoot closer, leaning over to look it over once more. “This was the constellation of stars on our first day of freshman year. The day we first met.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin sniffs, “that’s really awesome, ___. Thank you. This is coming with me to school.” At this, he hugs you again, probably to hide the tears you know are threatening to spill because Hyunjin is Baby and cries every year. “Anything for my favorite fake Aussie,” you smile, leaning your head on his shoulder as he reads through the quokka adoption letter.

“Okay! Your turn!” He exclaims, setting his gifts back into the box and passing you the smaller one of his. He catches your curious glance to the second one he keeps by his side. “We have to open this one together.”

“Christ, okay. Looks like I’m gonna be crying tonight, too,” you sigh sadly. “Ooh,” jumping ahead of yourself, you wiggle your eyebrows at the white box before you, “Hyunjin if you bought me a Fitbit… I swear to God. How many times have I said I am not working out with you?” However, once you finish tearing open the wrapping paper you find it is not, in fact, a Fitbit.

“It’s not a Fitbit, idiot,” Hyunjin scoffs a second too late, waiting for you to slip the lid off the box. “They’re bond touch bracelets.”

“Explain,” you murmur, enamored but confused at the two little house arrest looking bracelets.

“So basically, we each wear one,” Hyunjin starts, taking one of the bracelets out and a burst of color blooms across its small screen at the motion, “and if you touch it, mine vibrates and I ‘feel’ your touch.” As he explains, he buckles it around your wrist, twisting it so it lies correctly. You silently take the second one and help it on him, brain too caught up to actually say anything.

“Try it,” Hyunjin whispers, suppressing his excitement.

You gingerly bring a finger to the little screen, tapping it once, twice. Nothing happens. Frowning, you try again, tapping and holding, then a second time, and finally— a strip of pink light appears and the bracelet gently vibrates as you tap and hold a random pattern. In response, the bracelet on Hyunjin’s wrist lights up blue, buzzing in the same pattern.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you sniffle, fighting back your own tears because you refuse to let yourself ugly cry in front of him, “this is amazing. Now I can annoy you year-round. Thank you so, so much. I love you so much.” He hums, pulling you close when you turn to give him a proper hug. To your utmost surprise, however, instead of letting go he curls one fist into your side and helps swing your legs over to straddle his lap. “Oh.”

“___,” Hyunjin sighs thoughtfully, fingers playing with the sleeves of your tee, “I love you, too.”

You nearly spit up your coffee. If you were drinking coffee. Instead, you’re left with a dry mouth and a slack jaw at his words. Huh?

Glancing to the constellation picture peeking out of his box, and then to the matching bracelets you both wear, you find your mind reeling trying to make sense of it all. Yeah, you say the forbidden L-word to each another all the time, but most certainly not with you on his on lap and his lips mere centimeters away. The answer is so obviously clear as day you have trouble believing it.

“Fuck,” you laugh all of a sudden, as soon as the realization hits you, “I wasn’t dreaming, was I?”

Hyunjin lets out a joyous giggle, hands linking behind your back. Unable to hide his smile any longer, he clarifies, “You were not, madam. We literally just finished talking about when we were going to open gifts and then I got ready to sleep. Two seconds later you dumped your heart out to me, but when I answered, you were asleep.”

“Bruh,” you wince, hiding your face with your hands, “I am so sorry you had to deal with that.”

“No, don’t be,” Hyunjin comforts, reaching to tug your hands away. Your gut does somersaults when he intertwines his fingers with yours. “I was actually, uh, planning on doing some sort of confession to you anyway, but then you went right ahead and did it for me. So thanks for that.”

“Wow,” you chuckle, trying to wrap your mind around it all, “does that mean you, ahem, perhaps like me too?”

“No, I just got us really couple-y long distance relationship bracelets, pulled you onto my lap, and kissed you because I just want to be friends.”

“You didn’t kiss m—”

The sly little fucker interrupts your retort by quickly dipping down to press a fat smooch to your lips, missing miserably and you don’t know if he did it on purpose but you quickly fix the problem, releasing his hands to cradle his jaw and tilt his head the right angle. Finally, finally you kiss him, breathing in the smell of him like some sort of aromatherapy and whimpering into his mouth when his tongue swipes against your own. It is like nothing you have ever experienced, the taste and feel of him making you tremble and igniting a burst of electricity through your veins. You could kiss him forever, you think, sucking on his plump bottom lip greedily until he finally pulls back, desperate for air or trying to reel himself in you can’t say.

“You have to open your other gift,” Hyunjin reminds, chest heaving, and your gaze follows his long fingers as they comb his hair away from his forehead. Automatically, as if kissing Hyunjin once grants you some kind of free pass to do the same, you brush a few stray strands away from his face before leaning back to admire him. “Stoooop. You can’t do that and not expect me to kiss you again. Open. Your. Gift.” Hyunjin whines, squishing your cheeks and turning your head away.

“Okay, don’t blame this on me,” you huff, reaching for the second box before jabbing a finger into his chest, “you, sir, need to stop being so beautiful for like, two seconds.”

He scoffs, helping you rip off the wrapping paper, “You’re the beautiful one here.”

“Ew,” you wrinkle your nose, most certainly not used to Hyunjin dishing out such compliments, “this is too Hallmark Christmas movie for me. Let me open my gift in peace, ugly.” This box, unlike the bracelets’, is simple cardboard and when you lift open the lid, a brown leather book looks back at you. “You remember Up?” He asks.

On the leather, it reads Our Adventure Book in mismatched colors. “Yeah,” you whisper, flipping open the cover to find two baby pictures glued on the paper, one of Hyunjin, and one of you. At the top, it’s labeled ‘Before Shit Went Down.’ You laugh.

On the next page, there are random photographs from middle school, and then finally each other’s eighth grade graduation portraits. Then, written at the top is ‘Here It Begins,’ followed by a selfie he randomly took with you a few weeks into school freshman year, and then some from homecoming. Silently flipping through the rest of the book, your tears flow freely now, touched beyond comparison at all the photographs and all the memories accompanying them. Some are from large events like prom, others from random moments you don’t even remember, but each and every one comes together to form a special mold fitting perfectly into that Hyunjin-shaped hole in your heart.

The last picture is from the christening last month. Of course, it isn’t one of the nicer photos his mom took of the two of you, but a SnapChat selfie with the flaming sunglasses filter. He’s mid-laugh and you’re pressing a kiss to his cheek. Funny thing is, you don’t even remember taking it.

The page next to it is blank, aside from what’s written at the top of the page. “Togetha Foreva,” you read aloud, voice choked up and God, you cannot fathom how gross you look right now. “What the fuck, man!” You sob, punching Hyunjin’s shoulder before wiping your nose and cheeks with the back of your hands. “I didn’t sign up for this cock and ball torture.”

Hyunjin laughs loudly at this, pulling you into a hug and giving you a few seconds to recover. “Hyunjin, this is like… seriously the best thing anyone has ever done for me, holy shit. God, you Pinterest son of a bitch, this is such a good idea,” you groan, flipping back through the pages and getting teary-eyed all over again, “I can’t express how much this means to me, Jinnie. Thank you, really.”

Flashing that toothy grin of his, Hyunjin tugs you to lie back down with him and tilts your head up to press a much more accurate kiss to your lips. “I meant what I said before, ___,” he murmurs, “I don’t know what to do without you, and I know we only get to see each other once a month but I can’t keep living as just friends. You’re so much more than that. And I hope all the pictures we add from now on will show this new chapter of our lives. If not, well, then I guess I’ll just burn the book.”

“Are you asking me to be Kkami’s official poop-picker-upper?”

“Yes. Wait— what? No!”

You break into a fit of laughter, only to be interrupted with him pinching your side and causing you to let out a yelp. “Hey!” You bark, jumping closer to him and away from his hand until, finally, you give in to your self-indulgence and go right on ahead in swinging a leg over his hips and pinning him beneath you.

“You ruined my serious love speech, ___,” Hyunjin pouts, face scrunched up at you.

“I’m sorry, baby, go on.”

You pause, blinking slowly at him. He blinks back, the silence in the air weighing in heavily as both of your two brain cells bounce around trying to figure out what did you just call him?

“Never mind,” Hyunjin says, voice a low rumble of thunder as he reaches for your hips and easily flips positions, “I think you’re on the same boat.”

You laugh, tilting your head back and eyeing him indignantly. Fuck, he looks unfairly delectable hovering above you.

“Okay, how many more times do I have to tell you I love you for you to formally ask me to be your girlfriend, stupid?” You scowl, bringing your hands to cradle his neck, thumbs brushing delicately against his jaw.

“Call me baby again and we’ll see about making that happen.”

You raise a brow, tugging his face closer by the chain of his necklace. “You’re lucky it’s Christmas, baby.”

[xonxsm]

pastel || bnha x male!reader

---》 two 《---

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

class went on normally, with a few glances occasionally being thrown at the [h/c]-male, to which he never noticed- he was too busy daydreaming about kermit and pepe the frogs' forbidden love.

'mi amor,' [m/n] thought to himself with a weird voice, looking at the "man" he formed with his fingers, imagining it as kermit. setting his head on the desk he made kermit kneel in front of pepe, with kermit holding out imaginary flowers.

'i cannot hold this inside me anymore... my beautiful boyfriend, dear pepe, my love, will you marry and run away with me?'  pepe let out dramatic tears and nods aggressively, [m/n] about to make both hands 'kiss' before aizawa brought him to his attention.

"we will be choosing a class rep today."

almost everyone started talking at once, mostly about how much they wanted to be class rep and why them people should choose them; until iida shushed everyone by saying they should choose by voting. [m/n] looked lost.

bruh. i just started, like, two hours ago. i don't even know anything about them- wtf lol-

sighing, he doodled the poop emoji with hearts and flies surrounding it before folding it up and submitting his 'vote'.

midoriya and momo ended being chosen as class president and vice president respectively, while iida sulked in a corner. bakugo- an ash-blonde boy started shouting about the people that voted for broccoli while explosions went on around him.

:o boomboom be handsome tho, me hearteu umu

the bell rang right after that. [m/n] stretched, excited for food, but quickly slouched as he realised he had no idea where the canteen was. he decided to just follow the others, and grinned when he arrived, quickly running to the line to get food.

<<>><<>><<>>

PROBLEM, TwT.

holding his tray he walked around, hoping to spot an empty table. there were many empty seats, but [m/n] being the little antisocial bean he is he refused to walk up and ask if he could sit. he was about to leave the lunch room and go eat in the bathroom AlOnE before he spotted a pink-haired and skinned girl frantically waving him over to sit at her table.

grinning he strutted over with his tray, his tail flicking slightly as he sat down beside an electric blonde. "heyyyy-"

"hey! i'm mina. this is kaminari, bakugo, kirishima annnd sero." mina gave him a big smile while he munched on his sushi rolls.

"yoe." [m/n] mumbled with his mouth full of rice, waving. quickly finishing his rice balls he was about to reach for his banana milk when suddenly loud alarms started blaring. [m/n] let out a soft whimper as he massaged his ringing ears. confused voices and shuffling of students filled the lunch room.

"warning: there has been a level 3 security breach. this is not a drill." an upperclassmen stood up, screeching about how this hasn't happened in three years and everyone ran out of the lunch room, [m/n] somehow getting caught up in the crowd. he could feel tears building up, slowly getting harder and harder to breathe. just as he was about to collapse on the floor- a hand grabbed him and roughly pulled [m/n] to the side, slamming him against the wall.

waht. oh shiddy tiddies I'm being pinned against de wall. a flustered [m/n] looked up into curious red eyes. "uh- thankz."

kirishima only grinned, showing off his sharp teeth. [m/n] shyly fiddled with his tie, looking behind kirishima when he heard a familiar voice shout. he looked over to the floating dude shouting about the breach caused by the 'press'. everything was sorted out, everyone stopped running and went back to what they were doing before. [m/n] yeeted himself outta the corner, quickly walking back to the cafeteria with a still grinning kirishima in tow.

walking back to the table where he was sitting before the breach he dramatically dropped to his knees to where his fallen tray was, his food splattered on the ground. "Noooo... me love, me zalmon roll, me banana milk." clutching his chest with a sad look he picked up the fallen tray and food before casually dumping it in the trash can, a happy look immediately on his face as he let out a smol burp, setting his phat ass on his seat.

kirishima only stared at him like he was the most unmanly thing in the whole universe. BiPoLaR MuCh Ay-

"E." [m/n] stated as he stared at the approaching group he sat with before, munching on a bag of chips he pulled out of n o w h e r e.

realising he was probably blocking the standing group from getting into their seats he stood up in shy, his ears lowering as he stepped aside for them to pass and sit down. mina, sitting in the middle immediately pulled him down next to her, giving him a smol noogie before successfully stealing [m/n]'s last chip.

"beach." [m/n] sulked, throwing the empty potato chip bag in her face, to which she somehow dodged and it smacked bakugo square in the face.

"HEY YOU LITTLE-" [m/n] shrieked, quickly retrieving the empty bag, placing it on the side as he shifted away a little. bakugo only huffed and continued eating his food, while [m/n] sipped on a banana milk that magically appeared.

uncomfortable silence filled the table as [m/n] shifted awkwardly in his seat, feeling like he was the cause. he was about to get up, using "i wantz some more banana milk" as an excuse before mina pushed him back down.

"hey, are your ears and tail part of your quirk? ooo wait CAN I TOUCH THEM? THEY FLUFFY 🥺"

a certain green-haired boy across from them listened in, hearing the word 'quirk'.

"yez! me tail and earz are part of my quirk. i can alzo zhift into a wolf, and like, run really fast. and zure you can touch me earz," [m/n] replied, lifting his ears a little as mina pet his ears like how you would pet a dog- as he let out really soft purrs from his throat.

and scribbling intensifies for midoriya.

"you talk weird," kaminari blurted out, his ears immediately turning a little red. "not that its bad or anything-"

"yeh, itz juzt me long azz tongue, it makez it kinda hard to form wordz- zadly i can't control itz length."

but, i have good tongue technology. [m/n] let out a soft giggle before cringing at his own voice, pouting slightly as he felt mina stop petting his ears. IMMEDIATELY turning red when he felt something poking his tail.

"ZLKDFJNKZ WOMAN!" he quickly jumped up, shifting his tail to cover his growing um... area before shooting mina a glare. "DON'T TOUCH ME TAIL!"

then he dashi ran outta the lunch room to the bathroom, feeling his whole body turn hot as the others stared at his disappearing figure confused.

<<>><<>><<>>

[m/n] boredly stared on as midoriya decided to give iida his position of class rep. not even bothering to continue his story of pepe and kermit, he laid his head down on his desk again, yawning a little.

"psst!"

sero and kaminari poked his ears as he looked over. "dude, you ok? you just zoomed outta there."

[m/n] coughed, slightly embarrassed as he moved his tail closer. "yeah, totally finez."

totally did not get a boner because someone touched my tail. ahem. he was grateful for the fur on his ears, feeling them heat up as he buried his head between his arms.

[m/n] was still groaning internally as the others cheered for the new class president, the one and only iida tenya.

<<>><<>><<>>

"for today's hero training we will be having three different instructors; with them being me, all might and another person you will meet later." aizawa droned on about the training, holding out a card with the word 'rescue' with all caps written on it. he pointed to a rack full of suitcases where the costumes were put. [m/n] rushed over after aizawa told them to get ready- he was quite excited to put on his costume which was shipped to japan after it was completed in [your country]. grabbing a suitcase with his name he skipped to the changing rooms, humming.

[m/n]'s suit was rather child-like, but also kinda revealing. short-sleeved [h/c] shirt with a long v-neck that was tucked into a pair of black pants that folded in mid thigh- and of course a hole in the back so he could comfortably tuck his tail out. then some bandages that acted as gloves and socks, and black boots. to top it all off a [f/c] cloak that reached his knees.

he checked in the suitcase, hoping to find a collar but was disappointed to find nothing.

well i didn't order for one to be made, i guess-

he stuffed the suitcase and collar into his locker and quickly ran out to where the bus was, lining up as iida told.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

word count: 1536 words

ahem.. no, [m/n] isn't in heat.

from what i read from other uh more mature fanfics hybrids have sensitive ears and t a i l s. so yeah [m/n] isn't in heat. it's gonna be weird if he is already in heat after he joins yuuei for like five hours.

the pepe and kermit part gave me inspiration, so I'm going to be writing a whole book dedicated to their forbidden love.

. . .

just kidding lol no-

unless~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[tiny-cloud-dragon]

Random Bits: FF7 03

I’m actually not sure I’ve already posted this here or not, so I’ going to post it (possibly again)

[Setting - Cloud finally finds out what gets under Zack’s skin.]

[Location - the streets of Midgar Edge - noon.]

A disembodied Angeal Head floated across the velvety black screen of Cloud's memory, bouncing slowly in random directions like the ghost of an old Windows Logo screensaver. 

"Go take a walk!" it commanded with each ricochet.

It was joined by a Zack Head, which also began bouncing randomly around and repeating "No, don't eat him!"

Cloud scowled to himself as the memory flickered unbidden across the backs of his eyelids.

*woowoowooscenetransitionwoowoowoo*

1st Class SOLDIER Timothy Titsworth burst into the conference room with the force of an angry soccer mom who has just found out her little angel was allowed to watch a PG-13 movie. Known as "Tiddy" (because there was no joining an army without acquiring some kind of weird, cool, humorous, or downright embarrassing nickname that you either loved or hated), Timothy showed great promise as a SOLDIER, but he was overly ambitious, and more than a bit egotistical.  

"What the hell, Tiddy!" Angeal barked, rising from his seat at the conference table, where he had been discussing plans for the upcoming Games with Zack, Cloud, and President Rufus Shinra.

"What the hell, indeed, Sir!" Titsworth snarled, saluting as an afterthought. "I want to be assigned to a higher level training mission-!"

"No." Cloud said firmly as Angeal apologized to Rufus for the interruption. "I already told you that you aren't ready. Get out, now. I am in the middle of a meeting, and you are out of line, Private Tiddy." he continued, deliberately stressing Titsworth's rank as an unspoken reminder of who he was speaking to, and unintentionally making a pun that caused Zack to make a very un-General like snorting sound.

Titsworth looked at Zack like a miffed child hoping that Daddy might say 'yes', even though Mommy  had already said 'no'. 

"General Fair, I-!"

The room was suddenly full of angry dragon. Papers scattered, people made exclamations of surprise, chairs tipped, and someone laughed as Cloud Shifted into his ELIETE form and, with mouth gaping, lunged across the desk at Titsworth. 

Zack jumped on Cloud's long neck, landing just behind his head, and managed to grab the long, whisker/tendril/moustache/feeler thingies trailing from the sides of his snout and hauled on them like reins while shouting "No, don't eat him!"

Massive jaws with long fangs snapped shut inches from Titsworth's face and Cloud goose-honked in pained surprise, pulling his head up and back, twisting it from side to side while backing up as he tried to relieve the sharp pulling on his face feelers.  He Shifted back to his normal shape, leaving Zack sitting in mid-air for the length of an eye blink before gravity caught up with reality and he crashed to the floor.

Zack immediately bounced up and grabbed Cloud by the arm before he could lunge at Titsworth again.

"Go take a walk, "Angeal snapped at Cloud, who was all scowls and hisses. 

"But what about-!" Titsworth began from where he had fetched up against the wall. Like a terrier with a rat, he was not about to let the argument go, out of either a poor sense of self-preservation, or out-right stupidity.

"Shut up, before I tell General Fair to let him go, and we end up having to send your mother an 'In Sympathy for Your Loss' card!" Angeal snapped with that tight-lipped, angry-eyed expression that most teens didn't even have to see to know it was being made. It was an expression that had its own sound. 

Titsworth huffed, but closed his mouth. He remained on the floor, sitting very still as Cloud stormed out of the room. Dragons were like cats. They would go after anything that moved, so it was best not to draw their attention.

*woowoowooscenetransitionwoowoowoo* Cloud shook his head at the memory, causing the Heads to bounce violently around and collide with each other with a double "ouch!" before they faded away. He was only mildly annoyed by now, having walked several blocks, but he couldn't help but feel unjustly put-upon. It wasn't like he'd chosen his ELITE form, and he couldn't help that it would sometimes take over.  It wasn't his fault that dragons had a very simple idea of what constituted 'conflict resolution', and that it mostly involved eating whomever caused the conflict. 

Go take a walk...

Cloud would have rather gone out for a nice long flight. It was much more fun, and relaxing, but it did tend to stir up the city's inhabitants. There was just something about a black winged shadow passing overhead that would send people screaming in panic. Old instincts died hard, and deep in most the primitive part of their brains, people were still just small, soft-bodied squeaky creatures hiding under leaves and flinching at shadows.

He turned a corner and continued walking briskly along the shop lined street, noticing that other pedestrians were trying to avoid him without looking like they were avoiding him. It might have worked, if it had been one or two individuals. There is just nothing subtle about an entire crowd suddenly crossing to the other side of the street.  

Cloud found himself completely alone on the sidewalk. That was fine with him. At least he didn't have to feel like he was in the middle of a school of salmon during their running season. 

The ponderous growl of a heavy engine pulled Cloud from his musings. He paused and turned just in time to watch one of the army's humvees pull up to the curb beside him.

Zack, grinning from ear to ear, leaned toward the open passenger side window and said, in his best Creepy Witch Voice, "Need a ride little girl?"

Cloud hissed at him and resumed walking, forcing Zack to drive slowly along beside him.

"Come on, Spiky! I'm sorry I pulled your face feelers!"

Cloud pointedly ignored him.

"Don't be salty,"

Cloud kept walking.

"Don't be like that-!" Zack steered around a parked car and rolled back along side Cloud. "I'll let you work my stick-shift!"

The offer was met with an icy side eye and frigid silence.

"I'll pay you," Zack venture playfully, with a cheeky grin.

"You can't afford me." Cloud replied curtly.

Zack's grin froze, then shattered into an open mouthed gape as the comment hit him like a cast-iron lightning bolt. The hairs on the back of his neck rose at the feeling that a white-hot icicle had just been fired through his brain.

"I...did...did you...just...?" he stammered, the humvee stalling as he briefly forgot how to drive. Well, I'll be dipped in shit! Now I know how Dr. Hyansen felt! Zack thought after he recovered enough from the unexpected sarcasm that he was able to get the vehicle restarted.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Zack called as he caught up to Cloud and parked. "Just get in, okay? Look," he said, holding up a brown paper bag, "I brought shrimp yum yum sitcks!"

Cloud's eyes were instantly glued to the bag. The scent of shrimp and vegetables in a crispy wrapper covered in toasted sesame seeds hit him straight in the olfactory receptors. He struggled with himself, pushing for Caution, while the dragon part of him drooled all over Common Sense. 

It's obviously a bribe, Cloud warned the dragon.

Shrimp yum yum sticks!

No, he's using food to-!

Shrimp yum yum sticks!

But, listen, he-!

NO! SHRIMP YUM YUM STICKS!

Cloud's stomach growled, and he gave in. As he climbed into the passenger's seat, he had to laugh at himself. Hey little boy, I've got some candy in my van, he thought with a wry snort.

"What are you laughing at?" Zack asked.

"Nothing." Cloud said slightly irritated at how he would do almost anything for those stupid sticks. It was a good thing Zack hadn't brought canned cat food... Cloud snatched the bag from Zack and took a big bite out of one of the sticks while the dragon part of him happily chanted Shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp!

"You can still work my stick-shift if you want," Zack offered jokingly, patting the shift handle. He completely missed the slight tightening around Cloud's eyes, and the tiniest of upward curving at the corners of his mouth. 

"I'll pass," Cloud replied, the words coming out slightly distorted as he shoved another yum yum stick into his mouth. "Your knob is too small."

"Wha-!" Zack all but yelped, a full body cringe slamming down his spine as his body tried to physically force the word 'knob' back out through his ears. 

"The knob," Cloud repeated as Zack cringed again, "It's, too small so it makes your hand hurt on long drives."

Zack shot him a suspicious look, but it merely ricocheted harmlessly off the look of genuine sincerity and yum yum stick crumbs on Cloud's face.

"Maybe I should put in a request for bigger knobs..." Cloud suggested, "Bigger knobs would fit more comfortably in your hand and make them easier to manipulate for longer periods of time, right?"

Zack flinched and Cloud could almost see his brain shudder as it tried to use its own stem to tear out his eardrums.

"Stop it!" Zack snapped.

"Stop what?"

"Saying...'knob',"

"What's wrong with the word 'knob'?" Cloud asked, his eyebrows pinching together in confusion while Zack cringed.

"You saying it. It's just...wrong,"

"I'm saying 'knob' wrong?"

"NO! Just stop saying it!"

"There's nothing wrong with knobs," Cloud chided. "Lot's of things have knobs," he continued while Zack cringed  and flinched along. 

"Like radios. Radios have knobs. And tv's have knobs. Dressers have knobs. Oh, and cabinets have knobs. Beds have knobs, and you can put a knob of butter on your toast. Trees have knobs too, and hands can get knobby, and even people have knobs! My mom had knobs and she said that when I annoyed her I was 'twisting her knobs'...or was that 'pushing her buttons? I forget-!"

"Stop saying 'knob'! Zack wailed, hands clamped protectively over his ears.

"Why are you getting so bent out of shape over the word 'knob'?

Zack bristled at the word, his hair lifting like the hackles of an angry wolf. It was then that he noticed the slight crinkling around Cloud's eyes.

"You dick!" Zack snarled, annoyed. "Play Backwater Dummy with me, will you?" He leaned in close, and with a malicious grin, started wiggling his eyebrows.

Cloud recoiled, Shifting into his half-form and hissing shrimp yum yum stick all over Zack's face as memories of a certain Inspector's rather mobile eyebrows rose up to haunt him like a greasy meal at 3am after six beers. 

Unperturbed by the macerated mist, Zack continued wiggling his eyebrows, laughing evilly, "How do you like that huh? Say 'knob' again, you little turd!" He reached out to playfully poke Cloud. 

Out of pure reflex Cloud bit the offending appendage.

Zack yelped more out of surprise than pain, and snatched his hand away, retreating back to the driver's seat to inspect the damage.

"Not cool, man, you gave me a noodle hand!" He said with a pout, illustrating his grievance by flapping his now numb hand around on the end of his wrist.

"I didn't mean to,"

Zack started using his left hand to rapidly and repetitively smack his right arm against his thigh. 

"You want a rag...or... something?"

Zack paused, eyeing Cloud suspiciously. Almost afraid of the answer, he risked asking "For what?"

"So you won't be walking around the rest of the day wearing that  shrimp facial."

"Oh. Yeah." Zack replied, realizing that the remnants of shrimp yum yum sticks were quietly getting crusty on his skin. He took the napkins Cloud fished out of the crumpled bag  on the floor boards and awkwardly used his left hand to wipe his face.

"How's your hand?" Cloud inquired, a note of guilt hovering in his voice.

"Hanging in there," Zack replied with a lopsided grin.

Cloud signed into his hands in mild irritation at Zack's penchant for making jokes out of everything.He felt Zack patting him on the shoulder. There was something awkward about the gesture that had nothing to do with the current atmosphere. 

Looking up, Cloud saw Zack using his left hand to hold his numb arm up by the elbow and slap the appendage down on his shoulder. He imagined that this was exactly how it felt to be patted by a zombie. Cloud snorted in reluctant amusement and shoved the dead arm off his shoulder. The limp limb bounced off the back of the seat and slithered down the armrest to swing loosely at Zack's side.

Both men stared at the arm mutely until it stopped swinging like a slowly winding down clock pendulum before looking at each other.

Zack arched an eyebrow and said, "What? You like the angle of the dangle?"

Cloud rolled his eyes so hard he almost became the first person to find out what the backs of his own eye sockets looked like.

Zack laughed and started the vehicle.

"What are you doing?" Cloud asked in alarm, "You can't drive like that!"

"Sure I can. I'll drive, and you can work my stick!"

"Move, I'm driving."

"Fine. Killjoy.Want me to shift your stick?" Zack asked as Cloud settled into the driver's seat.

"No thanks, I can do it myself."

"Riiiight!" Zack drawled, doing a single finger gun.

"Do you want two noodle arms? Because that's how you get two noodle arms."

"Okay, okay. It's gone, see?" Zack pretended to chuck the offensive appendage armament behind him. 

"You know, it's a good thing we aren't too far from Base." Cloud said as he pulled out into traffic. 

"Why?"

"My hand won't have time to cramp up because of the--!"

"Don't say it--!"

"Knob."

Zack's distressed cry of "Stop saying 'knob'!" rang in the air before dopplering into silence as they drove away.

End.

[classic-rock-roller]

1. It’s really hot out and Bonham is outside doing yard work when Kevin comes over. She’s out back when he says, “Watch this, it’ll be funny.” Before you can stop him, he turns the hose on full blast and sprays her back. You both expect a startled reaction, but because it’s so hot, you see her flinch a bit before yelling out, “Fuck, do that again, this time on the front.” How do you two respond?

Me: Are you sure? You may get cold. 

Kevin: Hey, you don’t have to ask me twice. *sprays Bons again*

2. You, Bonham, Randy, Kevin, Rudy, and Crue are playing Never Have I Ever, and the subject of how many people you’ve all slept with comes up. You’re going around saying your numbers when Vince pipes up, “I’ve pulled more tail than the slow kid at a petting zoo.” How do you, Kevin, Randy, Bonham, Rudy, and the rest of Crue respond?

Me: Yes, which is why you’ve had to get more penicillin shots in the ass than anyone else. 

Nikki: And stuff your dick in a burrito to mask the scent 

Tommy: Works every time 

Randy: You guys are nasty

Kevin: That sounds like a good idea...

Bonham: Don’t get any ideas or I’ll whoop your ass 

Rudy: Yeah because you know BabyCarrot’ll kill you when she finds out. 

Mick just shakes his head 

3. Kevin’s driving you and Bonham and Randy somewhere, and somehow she ended up in shotgun with you and Randy in the back. At one point, you hear him yell, “Oh shit, hold on!” and he slams on the brakes. Instinctively, his arm flies out toward the passenger seat (since that’s where you normally are) and due to the inertia of the sudden stop, he ends up accidentally groping Bonham. How do each of you react?

Kevin, pulls hand away really fast: Oh Bons I am so sorry. 

Randy: At least you know you’ll protect the person up front 

Me: Yeah, even when it’s not me. 

Bonham: Hey that’s ok. It’s not like you tried to cop a feel on purpose. 

4. You’re with Bonham and Randy and Kevin one evening and Bonham’s mouthing off because she’s had a bad day. At one point she says something and Kevin asks her, “I beg your pardon?”She just gives him a look and says, “Then beg.” How do you, Randy, and Kevin respond?

Kevin: On please beautiful smart one. What did you say?

Randy: ...Kiss ass 

Me: Jeez Kevin 

5. Bonham has been hanging out with you and Kevin more and more after the plane crash. One night while Kevin’s rehearsing with Carlos and Co., you two end up super drunk back at the house and end up kissing. Kevin comes home and sees the whole thing, and he’s beyond pissed. After you two wake up in the morning, you see him sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. “We have to talk about this.” What happens next and what do you all say?

He explains what exactly happened (because I don’t remember from being so drunk) and ends with that he no longer wants the two of us hanging out alone. We both look at each other and I turn to Kevin. 

Me: You do realize we dated before she and I met you and Randy right? 

Kevin: No...

Bonham: Yeah we did for almost two years before we met you guys but by the time we’d met you two we were just really good friends. 

6. You and Bonham are sitting in on QR’s second album, QR II. When lunch rolls around, you and Kevin leave with Rudy and Drew while Bonham and Randy hang back so he can work on his solo in the last song and they can see if they can come up with the finishing touches to their new song “Saviours”. When you come back you hear anguished screaming coming from the room where you left them, followed by Randy saying, “Yeah, that’s beautiful, you’re doing great hon!” Startled, Kevin opens the door and you all see Bonham in the booth, screaming, and Randy sitting outside commenting. “What’s going on in here?” Drew shouts. “Oh we forgot to tell you, Ron (the producer) thought Saviours could be better if we added war cries over the drum fill.” How do you, Kevin, Rudy, and Drew respond?

Me: Thank god! I thought we’d be walking in on something we shouldn’t. 

Rudy: I expected that thought to come from Kevin, not from you. 

Drew: You’re nasty. 

Kevin: That’s my girlfriend. 

7. Your band is working on a video for “Nostalgia” and you’re all dressed as various life stages. Erik is the baby, Bonham is the kid, Linus is the teenager, you’re the adult, and Daryl is the old man. Bonham’s just got through with makeup, and she’s got pigtails and a tutu and rainbow thigh socks and a giant lollipop, and when she comes out, Kevin and Randy (who are hanging around) see and snicker a bit. “What?” Bonham asks. Kevin says, “you look ridiculous; pigtails and tattoos don’t mix.” How do you, Randy, and Bonham respond?

Bonham: Fuck off 

Me: I think she looks cute with pigtails. 

Kevin: Well, where’s your costume. 

Me: I’m wearing it. 

Randy: You’re dressed normally 

Me: Yeah, I’m not overly dressing up to be the adult unless they make me. Which they probably will. 

8. You get home one day and Kevin and Bonham are yelling at each other. You don’t know what it’s about, but it’s really heated, and when you get inside, you see that when Bonham opens her mouth the next time, you see that she’s been at it so long her mouth is bleeding. Kevin notices too, just as he sees you. How do you two react, what were they yelling about, and how does she respond?

Kevin stops immediately and goes, “Are you ok? I’m going to get you some ice and a towel.” I come up and steps and ask what’s going on. Once Kevin comes back she swats his hand away, “I don’t need your help.” But he insists and gives it to her. They were having a heated argument over not giving Rudy the credit he deserves with QR and that one day he would leave the band. 

9. You and Kevin are visiting Bonham and Chuck in Colorado, and he’s driving you all to dinner. Bonham’s got control of the radio and is playing Aerosmith’s Walk This Way. When the line “hey diddle diddle it’s the kitty in the middle” comes up, Chuck sings, “hey little kitty with your pretty kitty tiddies”. Bonham just kind of sighs. How do you and Kevin respond?

Me: Could you stop that Chuck? It’s very annoying. Sing the correct words or don't sing at all. 

Kevin: Oh come on, stop being a buzzkill. It was funny. 

10. It’s been a while since the plane crash, and Bonham’s been hanging around with you more than usual. One day when she’s not around, Kevin says to you, “We have to talk about Bonham. I don’t know if I want you hanging around with her anymore.” “What do you mean?” “You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed what’s going on. Ever since Randy died she’s been super sexual toward you and I have a feeling she’s going to do something to you when i’m not around. I’m going to confront her about it later.” What do you say and what happens when Kevin confronts her?

Me: Kev, relax. It’s her grieving process. I don’t think you remember me telling you but we dated for a couple years before we met you and Randy. And now we’re really close friends. She just needs someone to lean on for a bit. She’ll be fine then. 

When he brings this up with her, she gives him an offended look and goes, “I would never. She’s your girlfriend and I respect that.” 

11. You’re hanging out with QR and Bonham and Chuck one day when Chuck says “Y'know for rock stars you guys are all pretty cool. I thought you’d be narcissistic and vain.” Bonham laughs a little and says, “Nah, Kevin’s got enough vanity for all of us.” Kevin looks offended and says, “How dare you compare me to a counter.” How do you, Chuck, and the rest of QR respond?

Me: Kev, you’re an idiot 

Chuck bursts out laughing. 

Rudy and Drew roll their eyes. 

Randy: Kevin, Vanity is also means a person who is full of themselves...you have a lot of that. 

---------------------

1) You, Kevin, and your singer are in your singer and your apartment. You and Kevin are in the living room and your singer is in the kitchen. All of a sudden the door bangs open and Brit comes storming in before flopping down on the couch and screaming into the cushions, “I want to die!” Your singer pops her head around the kitchen wall, “Hey Brit. Rough day?” You roll your eyes and say, “Might want to try knocking next time...not that you ever do.” Kevin looks between you, your singer, and Brit, “This is a usual occurrence?!” How do you, your singer, and Brit respond?

2) While at an awards ceremony for your band and QR, Axl says something really bad about Kevin and it escalates to your singer being held back by security. Axl gets up in her face and screams, “I’m going to fucking kill you bitch.”  Your singer struggles against the security and screams back, “Yeah? Why don’t we go right fucking now?” You, Kevin, and the rest of QR see Axl visibly shrink back as security lets your singer go. How do you, Kevin, Rudy, Carlos, and Frankie respond to this screaming match? 

3) Your singer is working at her day camp job and you, Kevin, and Randy come to visit her. She’s with an almost three-year-old the entire day and when you get there, the two of them are having a yes/no argument. Kevin looks at them and goes, “Uh...hon, what are you doing?” Your singer turns to him, “What does it look like? I’m having an argument.” before she goes right back to arguing with the two-year-old. How do you, Randy, and Kevin respond?

4) You’re working on a second album with Crüe and one day you, Tommy, Nikki, and Mick come into the room to find your singer and Vince arguing over the pronunciation of motorcycle. “It’s motorcicle!” Vince yells at her. “No, it’s motorcycle. Everyone pronounces it motorcycle.” How do you and the rest of Crüe respond?

5) You’re band and Crüe are working on an album together. One day, you, Vince, Nikki, Mick, Randy, and Kevin are sitting in the recording booth when Tommy and your singer burst in. Tommy keeps singing, “You won’t do it, you won’t do it.” Your singer whirls around on him and goes, “Oh yes I will!” She walks up to you and pulls you into a kiss. She then turns to Tommy, “There. Happy now?” She then storms out of the room before you can say anything. How do you, Randy, Kevin, and Crüe respond? 

6) You and your band are working on another album with Crüe. One day you and Nikki come into the recording studio to find your singer and Mick cuddled up on the couch with Mick’s head on your singer’s shoulder and her head on top of his. Nikki giggles quietly and takes out his phone to take a picture. Without even opening her eyes your singer goes, “If you take a picture and wake Mick up I swear to god.” Nikki takes the picture and Mick stirs a little but doesn’t wake up. What does your singer say and how do you and Nikki respond?

7) Your singer has brought you over to her dorm room before you’ve started your band. You bring along Randy and the three of you plus your singer’s college friend Ryan are shoved into her dorm room. The walls are really thin so she has the door closed so that her roommate doesn’t hear you talking or the music going. She leaves the room to use the restroom and closes the door behind her before Ryan opens it back up. She whisper-yells, “Close the fucking door I don’t want to wake my roommate.” How do you, Ryan, and Randy respond?

8) You and your singer are on QR’s Metal Health tour with them. You and Kevin are talking to Rudy when all of a sudden you hear running and your singer jumps on Rudy’s back. “Hi, Rudy! Someone gave me some really good tasting stuff and now I’m full of energy and I just want to hug you!” How do you, Kevin, and Rudy respond and what was your singer given and who gave it to her? 

9) You and Kevin are sitting on the couch when your singer comes home from her teaching job. She has huge tears in her eyes about to brim over and when she gets upstairs she flops down on the couch and puts her head in Kevin’s lap before screaming really loudly. How do you and Kevin respond? 

10) Your singer is a big fan of Halloween and every year she plans a huge party. Partially for Kevin’s birthday because it’s two days before Halloween. One year while you’re decorating for the party she pulls you aside and shows you the birthday present she’s giving him. She shows you a tiny Halloween themed onesie and says she wants to surprise him. How do you respond and what happens once he opens the present at the party? 

11) You’re on tour with QR for Metal Health and you stop in your singer’s college town. While at one of the local bars, you run into one of her really good college friends Ryan. She hugs him and starts catching up and the entire time you and Rudy notice that Kevin’s getting jealous. Eventually, he goes over to her and drapes himself on her. She ignores him for a but before swatting him away. Frankie looks at you and Rudy and says, “Is that a normal occurrence between the two of them?” How do you, Rudy, and Carlos respond and what does Kevin say when he comes back? 

@osbournebemydaddy your move Bons

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

“IM TOO HOT (HOT NIPS)”

Summary: Endeavor (and his bara tiddies) devise a nefarious plan to get ALL MIGHT-SENPAI to notice them

Notes: i was talking to @anemiaman about this art i saw of shirtless endeavor with smoke coming off his nips and decided to write a fic where every line about endeavor mentions his Cursed Tits in some way so now its here,, , it sfuckin here,,, 

*****************************************************************************************************endeveor rubbed his smoking nipples whiel cakcling evilly from behind the doorway. “my archenesis, that hot piece of ass ALL MIGHT-SENPAI, will HAVe to notice me now!” he cried triumphantly and hornily, his burning boobies heaving in excitement. “for i have hideen myself so cleverly behind this dor, and then i will EVEN CLEVERERLY pop out from BEHIND it and KILL hiM! i am almost as smart a rick and mroty fan! BWAWHAHHAHA !111!!!”

for years and years endevor had wanted to surprass all might and yet no matter how much pec flexing endevor did, his tits were never as rack-tastic as all mights so the only thing 2 do was to fuckin kill him and claim his tits as his own. that was wat endeovr was planning to do. 

someone came thru the door (then came on his tits ;)))) so endevor got slammed against the wall. His massive stripper tiddies protected him from dyying cuz those tits were #2 thicc 2 quit.

the people who came thru the door were peasant michael and azawa and they were talking about things. endevor leaned forward so he could here them and the weight of his massive meaty man-tits almost slammed him thru the ground but he didnt.

“HOLY MCFUCKIGN BALLS IN MY MOUTH SHOUTA-CHAN!!11” mic shrieked arousedly. “ARE U HYPE AF FOR THIS WEKEND??!??”

“no”

“AWWWW CMONNNNNnNnn” mic whined seductively. “ITS ALL MIGHTS SUPER SWEET 69TH BIRTHDAY PARTY!”

endevoers ears and also nips perked up. ALL MIGHT-SENPAI was having a birthday party,,,,  and ditnt even inivte him!??? tears rollled down endveors gigantic gazoombas and sizzled on his hot nips. what kind of archenemisis DID something like that???!?! endevors dick swelled infuriatedely and angery smoke started steaming from his nipples. he almost burnt the dor and murdeered everhone but he decided to hide and listen so he culd heer more about hte party so he wispered to his boobers to calm down.

“be strong my chidlren” he whispered as he tenderly cupped his own tits. “be strong for daddy”

mic wizowscki and aizawa were stil talking.

“I SURE AM EXCITED TO GO TO ALL MIGHTS BIRTHDAY PARTY AT HIS EXACT ADDRESS 666 BIG BOOTY BOULEVARD TOMORROW AT 4;20 AM” mic yelled happily

izawa was bitterly smoking a vape and shaking his head. three ded flies fell out of his hair. “mic what did i tell u about toshi” aizawa said annoyedly.

“YOU SAID HES A 5 DOLLAR THOTTIE”

“and wat did i tell u about thotties?”

mic hung his hed in shame. “WE AINT LOV NO THOTTIES “

“YOURE DAMN STRAIGHT WE DONT” aizawa cried, slapping mics flat ass. “i dont WANT to go to his slut party. hes probly gonna whore it up like usual in his sexy little outfit,,,, with thsoe ten pound hands,, and those chiseled ass cheeks,,,, ungnngfff thicc,,,,”

mic and aizawa were silent for a minute in appreiceation of toshis thiccness. endevor couldnt keep a slight moan from slipping thru his stupid bitch mouth at the thought of ALL MIGHT SENPAIs big beefy man hands on his hot and tender milk sacks and he got CAUGHT!!11!

“ENDEOVOR!!!?? WAH T TEH FUCK ARE U DOING HERE” mic yelled confusedly.

“yeah you guy fieriy looking-ass motherfukcer this is a school not a fuckboy convention” aizawa snrarled.

“WE AINT LOV NO THOTTIES BITCH” mic added yellingly, crossing his arms.

aizawa crossed his arms 2 but in a pentagram bc hes goffik. “get out of here b4 we lay down the smak on ur ass and not even int the kinky way”

endeover did not want the smak on his ass in a non kinky way so he slunk away with his tits pressed to the ground seemingly in defeat, but with a plan festering awaey in his sick and twisted little mind.

the next dey was the party. every1 was gettin turnt, especialy all might who had drank 4 whole glasses of sugar free apple juice and was feeling a little crazy. “THIS PARTY IS 3 LIT 2 QUIT” he cried. “WHY? BECAUSE I AM G O N E, YO!!!!1!” the rest of the party guests clapped polietely and went back to non-sexily dancing to the kidz bop version of kanye west songs. mic tried 2 grind on aizawas phat booty but all might shoved them apart while shrikeing at them. “L;EAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!!!” he shrieked. “HEROES WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE! PREMARITAL TWERKING IS A SIN!”

memewhile, endevror smirked evilly within his bottom seckret (most ppl would call it top sekret but lets be fucking real here u guyes) hiding place and rubbed his frothing nipples with nefarious delight. “uhuhehehhehuhheuehhueh” he cackled viciousley. “it is almost time for our,, G R AN D ENTEREANCED DUN DUN DUNNN!!!!!1! ALL MIGHT SENPAI will NEVEr ssee it ccccumming!”

all might was giving a speech and cryeing. “well bros its been a funky fresh time tonite and i lov u all so much for comig 2 my super sweet 69th birthdey party but before we can break out the WILD PARTY GAMES like musicel chairs, we hav to eat the CAKE!!!!”

“THATS MY CUE!!1!” thouht endeover hornily as he sprang tits-first out of the giant cake like a disgustig shit dolphin. “SU RRPRISE yoU FUCKS! iTS ENDEAVAR!!!” he cried triumphantly.  he winked and licked his teeth with his tonge. “sup toshiWHOREY” he sed fuckboyishly as he flexed his fat rippling tiddies. ALL MIGHT SENPAI was looking so fresh 2 death in a “dont mess with texas” crop top and jorts that endevor nutted lava arousedly.“I have come to RU I n the BORTHDAY PARTY!”

all might checked his watch “read.”

endeavors eye twitched and so did one of his nips. “YOU CANT SAY READ WE’RE HAVEING A VERBAL CONVERSATION U CHERRY FLAVORED FUCKFEST”

“read.”

endvoer was so angrery that he burst into flames and BURNED uP ALL OF THE CAKE with two streams of lava that sprang forth from  his massive girthy horse tits. “Read THIS SENPAI” he roared unsexily. “now u hAVE to notiece me!”

all might yawned. “read.” he turned away from endevor to talk 2 the party guests. “any1 else feel like taco bell? it smels like burning tit hair in here” everyone agreed that taco bell sounded good and left endevor and his sizzling salami sacks alone with the bunrt cake as kidz bop kanye west continuued to play in the backround.

endevors bara tiddeis saggged sadly in defeat and and he fuckin died and also all might adopted all his kids

 the en d.