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welcometophu · 4 years ago

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Not Your Guardian Angel: Chapter 12

Marked Book 3: Not Your Guardian Angel

Chapter 12

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Pels looks up The Dog Shack on Saturday morning, trying to find something about them online. She learns that they’re in Unity (which she knew) and she finds the phone number to call, but while there are plenty of reviews online, she can’t find a menu or a way to order.

So she presses the numbers and makes the call.

“Hello, this is The Dog Shack. How many dogs would you like and what name should the order be under?” a voice sings out cheerfully.

“Just how many and what name?” Pels asks. “There aren’t any options?”

“Ah, you’re a first timer.” She can hear the deep breath that the speaker takes before blurting out, “Our dogs are all mini dogs on a white-bread bun, which are made fresh three days a week. Each dog comes with cheese, meat sauce, and pickled onion, with optional ketchup and mustard. We don’t have any vegetarian options, and the cheese is a shredded Vermont sharp because our owner doesn’t like New York sharps and thinks cheese sauce is a copout unless it’s made fresh and we don’t have time for that. The wait time will be about fifteen minutes for us to prep your order, and we take cash, credit, or school dining dollars at the counter when you come to pick up. Your order will be packed in foil first, then a biodegradable cardboard carton which we hope you recycle. Each dog costs only $1.50, and you can get ten for $12.”

“Oh.” Pels has no idea how filling a mini dog could be, and at that price they seem like they must be small. “I’ll take… four? And do you have fries or anything?”

“Do you want your fries topped the same as your dogs?”

“Sure. Can I get ketchup on the side for both?” Pels has no idea what she’s doing, but it sounds good anyway, and in the end it sounds like maybe she’s getting breakfast and lunch both for under $10 total, which is a good thing.

Fifteen minutes later she’s waiting in line at the small shack, and ten minutes after that she’s already finding a spot in the stands to sit while teams from four different colleges warm up on the track below. She opens the first cardboard container and takes out a piping hot mini dog and takes a careful bite, meat sauce and cheese dripping back into the container below.

She burns the roof of her mouth, but she thinks it might be worth it, because it really does taste so damned good.

“Isn’t that your friend’s friend’s girlfriend?” Dad murmurs, nudging her shoulder to get her attention.

Where…? Oh. There, standing at the lowest level right below where Pels sits, looking up at her. Cass has her hair in a high ponytail and is wearing a denim jacket with embroidered flowers along the shoulders, her hands shoved into the pockets. She doesn’t seem ashamed to be caught staring.

Pels lifts one hand, then gestures to the seat Dad occupies since to Cass it should look empty.

Cass’s body language is a clear huff of “well, fine” before she climbs the stands and cautiously takes the seat next to Pels. “You’re Nate’s friend,” Cass says.

“One of them,” Pels agrees. She gets the feeling that Nate knows everyone but doesn’t have a lot of friends, which seems almost as sad as knowing no one and having few friends. Maybe even more sad. “And you’re Dax’s girlfriend.”

Cass makes a small noise and pointedly looks down at the track, where Nate and Dax are stretching side by side, talking.

“Not much of a talker, is she?” Dad says.

Pels takes another bite of hot dog. If she’s not talking, she might as well eat.

Two dogs disappear for breakfast, and by the time the first races are starting she’s working on the fries. She burps and is pretty sure she’ll be tasting cheesy meat sauce for the next several hours; thankfully it’s a good kind of taste.

“Hey there.” Shane slides onto the bench on her other side, Jess just beyond him. His cane clatters against the metal, and his hand brushes against Pels’s knee as he reaches for it to set it back within reach. “Did we miss anything?”

“It’s a track meet,” Cass says sharply. “We’ll be sitting around and waiting all day for five minutes of running that will be over before we blink.”

“If that’s how you feel about it, we can just text you when the race is coming up and you can go do something else if you’d rather,” Pels responds before she thinks about it.

Cass closes her mouth, lips pursed tightly.

Jess leans across Shane. “I told Shane that you’d been watching practices, and that you were going to cheer Nate on today. So we thought we’d come lend our voices.”

Cass huffs. “I know why I’ve been watching practice. What’s your reason? You know Nate’s not—”

“It’s peaceful.” Pels cuts her off before she can get into a full rant. “And why are you so angry about it? Nate’s my friend. It’s nice up here, and it isn’t crowded when they’re practicing. I like coming up here to sit in the sun and work.”

Shane leans in close on her other side, his knee and hip pressed against her. “Ignore her. She’s always cranky. Don’t let her drag you into whatever’s got up her ass.”

“I can hear you,” Cass snaps.

“Then try being nice,” Shane counters. “Or go sit somewhere else.”

It’s different from watching practice. When more people wedge into the bench, Jess moves to sit in front of Shane instead, leaning forward as she cups her hands around her mouth and calls out to cheer on a runner that Pels doesn’t recognize.

“Hey.” Shane nudges her again, his hand covering hers where it rests on her knee. “Is this okay?”

Um.

The loudspeaker goes off, but Pels doesn’t process the words, all too aware of Shane’s hand on hers, and the way his fingers dip to thread between hers.

“Nate and Dax are heading to line up.” Shane points as Jess calls out both names loudly. Nate waves back at them, while Dax just looks up, brow furrowed.

Pels waves back with her free hand because it seems like the right thing to do. Her other hand is too warm, and her stomach is doing little flip-flops like maybe the dogs and fries were a bad idea. She still has half of them left for later, sitting on the floor by her feet. Maybe she’ll offer them to someone else, if her stomach doesn’t improve. She can’t decide if this is bad or not.

“This one is the 1500,” Jess says. “It’s short for a long distance runner. I think they’ll be doing a 5k today, too. I don’t know if this meet has a 10k; those are a little more boring to watch, since it’s basically a half hour of running around the track. They’re usually the last event of the day, while everyone else is cleaning up.”

“Dax said he’s running the 1500 and 5k today,” Cass says tightly. “The 5k is mid-afternoon.”

Shane squeezes Pels’s hand. “They’re going to kill it,” he says.

Her hand is warm. Not overheated, not on fire, just comfortably warm. And her stomach is settling, slowly, although it still feels like butterflies might have taken root. Or maybe bees. Yes, bees, buzzing around but also building a honeycomb sweetness that spreads through her limbs.

Who knew holding hands could feel so… nice.

The loudspeaker burbles again, and the runners resolve into a single line across the track. Nate stands next to Dax, tall and lanky, bouncing on his toes as he shakes his arms. Most of the runners look like Nate—thin and rangy, some shorter than others. Dax has a heavier build, with a longer torso and shorter legs. He looks out of place on the field, both in build and in the way he stands quietly with no outward energy.

A sharp noise sounds, and the runners all crouch in position, and with a popping sound, they’re off.

They crowd together, and for a moment it’s hard to figure out who’s who. Pels sees a mass of jerseys and tries to pick out the white with gold and purple trim that are Nate and Dax. She holds her breath as they go down the long, straight length, and as they enter the first curve she realizes that they’ve moved from across the track into a small pack in the two inner lanes. She finally finds Dax in the middle of the pack, his curls just long enough to bounce with every step. Nate is second from the front, edging away from the pack, just behind the frontrunner dressed in red and blue.

For the first time, Pels notices Nate’s running shoes, which are a vivid gold, shining with every step, matching the stripes on his jersey.

“Go Nate! Go Dax!” Jess screams, her hands cupped around her mouth like a megaphone.

Pels realizes she’s gripping Shane tightly as the first minute passes and the first lap completes. She glances at him, and he only smiles and squeezes her fingers gently as if to say that it’s fine. She holds on tight and turns her attention back to the race.

The runner in red and blue keeps inching away from the pack, but Nate keeps up with him, staying just a step behind, so close that Pels is afraid they could trip over each other. She can see the way the runner at the lead glances back as if to see if Nate’s still there, and he always is. They move away from the main pack, and Dax moves up, sliding into the third position at the head of the middle group. Two of the runners are falling behind, the pack leaving them as they keep running through the second and third laps.

As the final lap begins, the pack has stretched out, and the results look clear cut. The runner in red and blue picks up the pace again, his face flushed, and Pels imagines she can see the stridor of his breath.

From behind, Dax puts on a burst of speed, moving into the second lane as he approaches Nate. But Nate must hear him coming, because he speeds up as well, passing the runner who was in first before Dax can. They both go flying by him as if he’s standing still, and Nate crosses the finish line just ahead of Dax. They fall on each other on the other side, holding each other up and patting each other’s backs as the crowd screams.

Cass exhales roughly.

“That’s our boys!” Jess shouts, her voice hoarse from yelling. “Go PHU!”

That was possibly the most intense three and a half minutes of Pels’s life. As the adrenalin fades, she realizes she’s still anchored with Shane’s hand around hers, and the liquid honey in her gut has warmed her all the way up to her eyeballs. She’s light-headed; as she slowly disengages and stands, she wavers until Dad props her upright.

Shane grabs his cane, bracing himself to rise as well. He reaches one hand for her shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Of course. I’m just going to—” Pels is blocked in with Shane on one side and Cass on the other. She stands carefully so she doesn’t step on the food she has resting at her feet, and she can’t go down because Jess is in front of them.

No one is sitting directly behind them, and Pels carefully climbs up to the next row in the stands. “I’m going to go pee,” she says bluntly, and heads for the stairs. She thinks there’s conversation behind her, but she doesn’t stick around to find out what it might be.

They’re sitting in her usual spot for watching practice, on the opposite side of the track from the building. She makes her way around the perimeter, and by the time she gets inside she’s breathing more evenly. “What even was that?” she grumbles.

“Were you flustered by holding hands, or by the race?” Dad grins when she glares at him. “Holding hands, then. That’s called attraction, Pels. Which you feel for Shane. Your soulmate.”

“I don’t like it.” It’s a lie, of course. That warm honey sensation was nice, just confusing. And overwhelming. Maybe she does like it, but she hates it at the same time, like something’s just slipped out of her control again.

Being on her own she can control. When it’s just her—well, and Dad—she knows what to expect. This is throwing in all kinds of variables and turning her life from simple addition into calculus. And unlike some people who are math majors, she really doesn’t enjoy calculus.

She pushes open the door of the bathroom and waits for a turn at the sink so she can wash her face and push at her hair as if she can do anything about the curls. She fingercombs them, taking them from windswept to just slightly messy, and pats everything back in place.

“Here.”

Cass stands to her left, a hair tie dangling from one fingertip. When Pels just looks at her, Cass pushes her hand closer. “Take it,” she orders. “Do something about that mop or when the wind kicks up again you’re going to lose an eye from it blowing all over. Or someone else will.” As soon as Pels cautiously takes the hair tie, Cass stands with her hands on her hips, head tilted as she looks her over critically. “Your hair is such an odd length. Do you style it?”

“It doesn’t really hold a style, so I just pick a length and run with it, and try to remember to keep it from getting too long. I’m lucky it doesn’t frizz.” It’s more like ringlets as long as she remembers to keep it from going wild. Many ringlets. Shorter ones for bangs and gradually longer down the side of her face. She can just barely pull it back into a ponytail, but it does keep the bulk of it away from her face, which isn’t a bad thing. “Thanks.”

“Hmph.” Cass tugs the scrunchy out of her own hair, running her fingers through it before braiding it quickly and tying it again. “You need all the help you can get.”

“Rude,” Dad says.

“You don’t need to take it out on me,” Pels tells her. The bathroom is less crowded now, so Pels turns to lean against the sink next to Cass, figuring if someone needs it, they’ll tell her to move. “I get it. You’re cranky.”

Cass pulls lip gloss out of her bag and leans closer to the mirror, pursing her lips before carefully putting it on. “You don’t know me, and I don’t know what you think about me—”

“You don’t like Dax doing track.”

Cass straightens quickly, hand falling as she looks at Pels. No, not looking—staring. Pels feels as if Cass is trying to look through her and see her squishy guts on the inside. Pels crosses her arms and glares back.

“I’m right,” Pels says.

“So what if you are?” Cass counters.

“You could talk about it.” Pels shrugs one shoulder. “I mean, I already know you’re angry, so it’s not like you’ll lose any points if you bitch about it. And you’ve already got acting like a complete bitch nailed so far, so.” She shrugs again. “Just go for it already.”

“I just don’t understand why he has to take up another sport,” Cass mutters under her breath. She puts away the lip gloss and pulls out mascara, touching up her lashes. “He’s so busy with football in the fall, and with everything going on—” She cuts off. “I just thought that maybe we’d get a break this spring. That we could spend more time together. And now he’s got practice every afternoon and he’s spending extra time working with Nate, and he hasn’t got any time left for me.”

“So you’re jealous,” Pels says quietly.

“You do understand human emotion,” Dad observes.

It’s always easier to see something from the outside, especially something like this. Besides. Being angry because something’s out of her control is a feeling that Pels is intimately familiar with, and it’s not difficult to recognize it in Cass.

“Dax is really good at it,” Pels says slowly. “I mean, he and Nate took first and second in that race and made it look easy. When they started passing that guy, he couldn’t keep up. There was nothing anyone else could do, and it looked like if he’d tried, Dax and Nate would’ve passed him anyway. Aren’t you proud of your boyfriend?”

“Hmph.” Cass tucks her mascara away and leans on the edge of the sink, looking down.

Pels isn’t sure if sad is better than angry.

“I thought you were all tiny, sharp angles.” Cass’s voice is sharp, but muted. “Where’s this sympathy coming from?”

“Oh, I suck at people, and yes, I know what it’s like to be angry all the time. Which means you are a person I suck a little less at getting because you might not be small, but you try to keep a barbed wire fence around yourself,” Pels shoots back. She smirks because Cass’s scowl means she’s got it right. “Besides. I like Nate. He’s not trying to steal your boyfriend. I don’t think he could if he tried. I mean. Would any guy who doesn’t love you to the moon and back put up with your shit?”

Dad laughs loud enough that Pels winces. “Now who’s being rude?” He sounds proud of her for it.

Cass huffs. “Whatever. I need a coffee. Come on.”

Somehow Pels ends up with a coffee in each hand while Cass carries two as well. When they make their way back to the bleachers, Cass shoves one of her cups towards Jess. “Here,” she says, before dropping a small bag of sugar, cream, and stirrers on the bench next to her.

Pels gives one of hers to Shane, then opens her cup enough to inhale. It’s a small cup, which isn’t nearly enough caffeine in her opinion, but it is warm on her hands. She cradles it, enjoying the warmth more than the taste for the moment.

Shane adds cream to his coffee, while Jess adds both sugar and cream. As Shane sits back, he leans closer to Pels, and she leans into his warmth before she thinks better of it. Shane shifts his coffee to the hand further from Pels, then lifts his arm.

“He’s offering to keep you warm,” Dad points out.

“Oh,” Pels exhales. She slides the few millimeters closer to Shane, his warmth heavy against her side as he drops his arm over her shoulder and somehow tucks her even closer.

It’s not awful.

It might even be good.

Jess is screaming at someone in purple and gold that Pels doesn’t recognize, standing up and punching the air when they finish the race in second place. Pels keeps close to Shane to avoid being touched, relaxing as Jess settles down again.

Jess somehow seems to know more people on the track team than any of them, and she keeps up a running commentary through the afternoon. She even manages to pull Cass into conversation, begrudging as it seems. Pels uses the time to just watch them all, and eventually eat the remains of her hot dogs and fries, which are still somehow good when cold.

By the time the final race comes up, and Nate and Dax line up for the 5k, Pels can almost ignore the fact that her butt is cold and a little numb from sitting too long. She knows there’s only fifteen minutes more to watch, and around the track most of the teams are already cleaning and packing gear.

As they start, there are more than twenty runners on the track, spread out across, bunching up as they all try and make it to the inner lane. Somehow Nate and Dax are in the middle of the pack. Pels clenches her hands together tightly to see them there, walled in by bodies all around them. But both Dax and Nate seem relaxed, running easily through the first lap.

It’s not an exciting race for most of it. There comes a point about halfway through where some of the pack fall behind, maybe a half dozen racers trailing the rest. Another lap, and a few more fall away, until only a handful remain in a tight group at the head.

One of the racers makes his move with three laps to go, pulling away and putting several paces between himself and the pack. Nate moves up as well, taking the space between him and the pack, and Pels can see the plan clearly after the earlier race. When the final lap begins, Nate starts pushing around the outside, forcing the runner in first to speed up. Dax comes out of the pack, stride lengthening just enough to keep him close to the frontrunners along with one other racer. By halfway through the lap, it’s obvious that unless someone else makes a move now, these four are vying for the top spots.

When they hit the straightaway, Dax somehow seems to go into overdrive, head down just a little as he pushes past both Nate and the other runner. Nate glances at him, and joins him, loping a half step behind him, leaving the others in the dust even as he’s losing ground when Dax somehow sprints through the final run. Dax slows after he crosses the line, and Nate catches up, and together they walk around the ring, Nate’s arm slung across Dax’s shoulder.

Pels joins her friends in jumping up and screaming, because that seems to be the right thing to do.

Cass grabs her phone and fires off a text. “Come on. They’ll meet us at Teas Please, because no one ever seems to have anywhere else to go.”

Dad bumps into Pels, and she stumbles forward, hands reaching out. For a moment she’s afraid she’s either going to fall into Jess or over the bench and crack her head open on the one below, then Shane’s arms wrap around her, pulling her back against him.

“You okay?” he murmurs, breath warm against her ear.

Pels’s cheeks heat up. “Yeah. I’m fine,” she says.

Jess bites her lip and turns away. There’s an uncomfortable twist in Pels’s gut, like she knows she’s done something wrong and it wasn’t even her fault.

“Sometimes I’m a klutz,” she says, which isn’t the whole truth, but isn’t a lie either. Cass wasn’t there for the guardian angel reveal, and Pels isn’t sure she’s ready to be that out to the school about her Talent yet. “Thanks for the save.”

“If I hadn’t, Jess would’ve,” Shane says. He grabs his cane, and Pels thinks he’s favoring his leg as he inches down the row to the stairs.

“And that’s my fault,” she mutters. “Good job, pushing people around until they get hurt.”

“If you’d just—”

“Stay out of it,” she hisses under her breath, cutting Dad off. “Don’t try to help.”

“Whatever it is you’re talking about, rest assured that I wasn’t trying to help,” Cass says idly. “But you’re in my way, so just keep moving and we can get out of here.” She gives Pels a little nudge.

They make it out of the bleachers without further mishap. The teams have somehow already managed to leave the field, and Cass is half focused on her phone and half on walking, giving small reports on the status of Nate and Dax as they move along. They have to cross campus entirely to get to Teas Please, and Nate and Dax manage to catch up with them before they do so.

Dax picks Cass up and kisses her, one hand in her hair and one on her ass as Cass wraps her legs around him to hold on. Pels can’t figure out how Cass could possibly be insecure in that relationship.

Nate, on the other hand, wears his heart on his sleeve when he watches the way Dax greets Cass. Despite the smile he pastes on as they walk into Teas Please, Pels can see that he’s still wistful.

God, when she actually looks, apparently she can see people being emotional. She blames this entirely on Dad. She can barely handle her own emotions; she really doesn’t want to have to deal with everyone else’s as well.

Speaking of… Pels twists and looks behind herself. Where the hell did Dad even go? Is she actually being let out on her own?

“I don’t have your table.” Serina looks up as soon as they enter, her brow furrowed. There are bags under her eyes, and she pauses long enough to yawn before she grabs a stack of menus. “How many—” She counts under her breath, then nods quickly. “Okay. Six. I’m sorry, I can’t get the booth, but we can pull a couple tables together in the front. It’s like everyone who was at your meet came in here all at once, and there’s a group from UAlbany at the big back table, and I just—”

“It’s okay.” Nate lays a hand on Serina’s shoulder and she just stops dead, shoulders slumping like a string’s been cut. “Hey,” he says softly. “Have you been sleeping?”

She shrugs one shoulder. “Sometimes. Maybe. Mostly. I don’t know. It’s weird. Everything’s weird, y’know? I’m just kind of tired and over everything, and it’s a bit much, and I just need Carolyn to come back and then everything will be okay. I think I failed a test this week.”

Everyone’s still missing. It’s been a week, and there’s been no sign of Nikita.

And Pels just somehow… forgot.

Not entirely. She’s seen Rory seeming lost without Alaric around, and Kit looking much the same. But it slips from her mind in the times between, not affecting her the same way it affects them.

She feels bad about that.

“They’ll be back,” Nate says firmly. “I’m sure of it. Carolyn would never leave you and Kit behind.”

“Besides,” Dax says. “Orson’s not settled. I can still feel his unfinished business.” He taps the side of his head. “Which means Alaric has to come back, or I’ll kill him myself, then yell at his ghost.”

“Honestly,” Cass mutters. “Can’t we have one meal without drama?”

“Hey.” Shane catches Pels’s hand. “Can we talk for a minute? Before we go in?”

They’re already in, crowded into the space around the podium at the front of the restaurant. But Pels nods and lets Shane tug her back outside, as the others go on to claim space inside Teas Please.

“I forgot,” she says with a low sigh. “Nikita’s missing, and I forgot.”

“Are you worried?” Shane asks, and when she nods, he keeps going, “then it’s fine. It’s like grieving. It doesn’t happen all the time, and you have to keep living your life, too. She’ll be back. They’ll be back.” He drops her hand and takes a step back, leaning on his cane. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

Pels glances to her right and left. Dad’s still suspiciously missing, and she doesn’t know why. Being on her own is unusual. “Okay,” she says slowly.

“You went out with Jess.” Shane leans back, letting the front wall of the restaurant take his weight. “And I’d like you to go out with me. Just us. On a date.”

“I feel like you guys are trying to woo me,” Pels grumbles. “Like you set up some kind of a plan to tag team to tame the wild thing—” She cuts off as his expression twists into something rueful. “You did. You totally did.”

“Maybe a little,” Shane admits. “Still. What do you think? I just—I feel like we should give this a chance.”

This.

She doesn’t look down at her wrist, but she knows the ink is there.

Dad’s nowhere around, but she can still hear his voice saying, “He’s right. Just give it a chance,” or maybe, “going out with Jess didn’t kill you, did it?”

It’s funny how he impacts her life without even being present.

She sighs heavily, crossing her arms. “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Fine,” she repeats. “Okay. Yes. Fine. We’ll go on a date. That is not a group thing like this. You can even hold my hand since obviously touching you is not destroying my soul any more than it already has.”

“We don’t want to destroy your soul,” Shane says quietly. He carefully stands again, balanced with one hand on his cane and the other held out to Pels. She slips her hand in his and matches his pace as they walk in.

They may not want to destroy her soul, but they could. It’d be so easy, and Pels is so used to it. Every time she gets used to something it’s snatched away.

And this time Dad isn’t even here telling her that maybe it’s okay, that maybe this time everything will turn out just fine.

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#welcome to phu #welcometophu #not your guardian angel #phu marked #marked

3 notes · View notes

eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

Text

634.

Did you ever pretend you were someone else as a favor for a friend? >> I don’t recall ever doing that.

Do you think men prefer curvy women or skinny women? >> I think men have a variety of preferences, because men are individuals. Also, not all men prefer women in the first place. I can’t believe I’m saying any of this because like. people know this. Why am I wasting my fucking time.

Do you own a water gun? >> No.

What item most embarrasses you to purchase? >> I’m not embarrassed to purchase anything.

Do you know any actual dances or do you just move to the music? >> I don’t know any actual dances, I just freestyle it.

Do you eat pork and beans? >> I’ve done so, but I haven’t had it in a long time.

What is the last thing you refered to as legit? >> I don’t remember.

Or do you think that term is lame? lol >> No, I don’t think it’s “lame”. It’s just a fucking slang term based upon the shortening of a longer word. Christ. (I get peeved really fast about how superior people get about language, and it happens so much on surveys -- in both questions and answers -- that I’m at the end of my rope.)

Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? >> No.

Do you have anything hanging from the ceiling of your room? >> I have these fairy-light type things that suck as actual lighting but are cute enough that I’ve decided to leave them up anyway. They’re nice ambiance at night sometimes, when I don’t need to actually see anything.

The rear view mirror of your car? >> ---

Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents >> ---

which do you prefer, dr or dentist? >> I’d prefer to avoid both.

Do you know which side your appendix is on? >> I don’t remember. Right?

Do you have the fixins in your fridge to make a sandwich? What kind? >> Yep. Turkey and cheese with mustard and slaw. There’s also pickles but we got the spear kind by accident (as opposed to sliced flat) and I never feel like cutting them so I just skip them.

Are any walls of your room blank? >> Nope.

When was the last time you ate fruit? >> I don’t remember.

What color are your favorite shoes? >> ---

If someone was willing to tell your crush you liked them would you let them >> ---

Do you know the zodiac signs of your friends? >> Yeah.

Favorite dog ever, real life and cartoon >> ---

Do you own anything with fur on it? What? >> No.

Do you choose surveys based on their titles? >> No, I choose them based on the questions. Although sometimes I don’t look at the whole survey and then get stuck with ones that devolve into chaos about halfway down.

Your appendix is on your right side >> Oh, sweet, I was right.

what would be worse for you, unplanned pregnancy or cancer? >> Dude, if I suddenly turned up pregnant, I gotta say that’d be pretty fucking bad -- because, like, how. That’s the kind of divine miracle I really can do without. But to be fair, that can be taken care of a lot easier than cancer can, so...

What was the last thing you made from scratch? >> ---

Do you drink any hot beverages? What? >> Sure. Tea and the occasional quarter-cup of coffee.

Do you put Q-tips in your ear or just round the outside? >> I try to restrict it to the outside.

Have you ever popped another person's zit? >> No. I can’t even fathom wanting to do that. Eugh.

When was the last time you listened to a radio,NOT online? >> When we were in Sparrow’s father’s car.

Do you have any odious chores hanging over your head? >> Not anything odious. I just don’t have the motivation to vacuum, although I should.

What is the last thing you confessed to someone? >> ---

Have you ever told a friend to dump their SO? Did they? >> No.

Name two things you put whipped cream on? >> ---

Who is the last person who saw you with bare feet? >> Myself.

What do you think is the coolest piercing on someone else? >> I think most piercings are cool.

Colored tattoos or plain? >> Either.

Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? >> I have, but I’m not inclined to do that these days.

Do you know how to ride a bike? Do you own one? >> Yes and yes. Do I ever actually ride it? Heh...

What was the last pill you took for? >> It’s CBD oil. Just trying to help my brain out any way I can.

How many devices do you own that hook up to internet? >> Personally, three. Collectively, we have like 9.

Any best friends you only know online? >> What friends I have are online friends.

Do you ever talk to your next door neighbor? >> No. My sole communication with them is to bang on the wall when they’re being too fucking loud.

Do most of your friends live in houses, apartments or mobiles? >> ---

Did anything shock you today? >> No.

What is the thing you last stubbed your toe on? >> I don’t remember.

Favorite faux curse word >> It was always “shiitake mushrooms”, since like middle school.

Who do you tease most often and what about? >> Sparrow, just about random shit.

slip on or lace up shoes? >> Slip-on.

Thing you stress over most about the holidays >> I don’t stress about the holidays. I have nothing to stress over since I refuse to let people put stupid obligations on me.

Food you take a second helping of on Thanksgiving? >> Stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Would you rather spend Thanksgiving with friends or family? >> ---

Most disgusting bug >> Bedbugs, natch.

nastiest thing in your fridge >> I have no idea and at this moment I really don’t want to know. Hopefully nothing.

song you hate but keep singing anyway >> ---

cookies or brownies >> Cookies.

Do you own any movie soundtracks? Which? >> No.

How many pillows do you sleep with? >> Two.

Favorite outdoors smell >> Never really thought about it.

are you wearing a hoodie right now? >> No.

Do you ever sleep in your day clothes? >> I wear the same kinds of clothes to walk around the house as I do to sleep, so, yes.

Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? >> I used to prefer them close-fitting but my body issues push me towards looser-fitting clothes these days. I still have close-fitting clothes like jeans, but, you know. It’s a struggle.

Are your fave pants jeans? >> No.

Do you own any under things bought to impress the opposite sex? >> No. My underwear aren’t to impress anyone, they’re just the kind that fit me best.

Favorite thing you've ever painted >> ---

Do you eat applesauce? >> Yep, I love applesauce.

Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? >> ---

If you had a sister, would you prefer her older or younger? Why? >> ---

What is something you wanted to say today, but didnt? >> ---

What is the stupidest nick name you ever heard? >> ---

Where are your keys right now? >> Hanging on the key thing by the door. It says “REDRUM” on it, lol.

Is there any product you always buy at the dollar store? >> No.

Can you recite any prayers by heart? >> Yeah, because I grew up having to say it.

When it's your birthday, do you have the correct number of candles? >> ---

birthday cake alone, or cake and ice cream? >> I usually don’t eat birthday cake at all.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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lingeringchaosxstrikes · 7 years ago

Text

Saving Papyrus ch 3

Previous Chapter

***

PAPYRUS

“Sans, I still don't understand how Red disappeared like that,” Papyrus said following his shorter, older brother to Grillby’s. “Is it like you pranking through time and space?” They had been searching for Edge for about an hour now with no luck. Edge was fast, and had seemed to cover his footprints in the snow. Some of the townsfolk had seen him, but they had given the dangerous looking skeleton a wide birth. The brothers had agreed they should go to Grillby’s and get Red home and heal his arm once and for all.

“Probably like that Paps,” Sans said with a shrug.

“Healing and now disappearing. I wonder why their magic is so different from ours Sans?” Papyrus made a face at the bar’s door before sighing and pulling it open.

“Yeah, they seem to have a Skele-TON of differences from us,” Sans agreed with a grin.

“SANS!” Papyrus yelled as the two walked into Grillby’s. Red visibly jumped at Papyrus’s yelling dropping a bottle of mustard. His red eyelights had shrunk and he gripped his jacket tightly. Red eyeing them, slowly picked his bottle back up. Red relaxed back into his stool nursing what appeared to be his fourth bottle of mustard when he saw that it was not Edge but Papyrus who had yelled.

“Red! That cannot be healthy!” Papyrus lectured gesturing at the mustard bottles.

“So?” Red drawled raising a browbone.

“So! that’s a lot of mustard in such a short time- wait is it spiked!? IT IS. Red! You’re injured and in need of healing, you shouldn’t be getting intoxicated!” Papyrus huffed crossing his arms. He could smell alcohol coming off the short scarred skeleton in waves. He clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“Didja find boss?” Red asked ignoring Papyrus. Papyrus felt his eye socket twitch. He knew Red could hear him! He had been told his voice was quite loud by several monsters.

“No. Surprisingly there was not a trail of injured monsters or monster dust to follow like I thought,” Sans drawled contempt thick in his voice. Red smothered a laugh into his mustard.

"That is surprising. Suppose he couldn’t mustard the intent to harm this time.”

Sans froze looking at his counterpart whose red eyes were gleaming. An easy smile quickly formed on Sans’s face.

“Still we couldn’t ketchup to him,” Sans said.

“NYAH!?” Papyrus yelled. “Oh, my stars. Sans, Red, no.” Papyrus covered his face with his palms.

"I know how much you relish the idea of ketchuping to him,” Red said with a wink. Sans grinned.

“It definitely is a pickle of a situation,” Sans sighed dramatically. Red snorted.

“Hope you aren’t bunning too bad.” Red grinned.

“Sans! Red! For the love of the angel please stop!” Papyrus groaned.

“I mayo not know what to do when we find him.” Sans said taking the seat next to Red, Grillby sliding over a ketchup bottle.

“You butter think of something,” Red grinned.

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” Papyrus yelled stomping his foot. Both Red and Sans broke into laughter. Papyrus refused to smile. It would only encourage them. It wasn’t funny. None of this was funny!

“Nyeh heh heh,” Papyrus laughed softly despite himself.

“SANS!” A shrill voice yelled as the door to Grillby’s burst off its hinges. Red jumped his mustard sailing over his shoulder and onto the floor again. Papyrus blinked at Edge. That was quite impressive. He wasn’t sure he had ever been able to kick down a door. The bar patrons gasped and backed away as the tall skeleton walked in his red eyes glowing with murderous intent.

Wowie, Edge sure was strong when he was - oh dear, he looked very mad. Red looked frozen and his sockets were wide. Sweat began to appear at the top of his skull. “B-boss?”

Grillby let out a dejected sigh at the broken door and inched back from the bar some eying the angry and deranged skeleton that marched into his bar.

“Sans him? Or Sans me?” Sans asked raising a brow bone as Edge stomped in. "Taco’bout confusing.”

“OH MY GOD SANS!” Papyrus yelled. If looks could kill, Papyrus was sure Sans would be dust. Luckily, they could not and the great Papyrus was here to defuse any murderous actions Edge may have.

“Red.” Edge snarled, his crimson eyes boring into Sans. Sans stared back not looking away with a smirk.

“Y-yeah B-boss?” Red asked softly, sweat pouring down his skull. Edge tore his eyelights away from Sans and gave Red an intense glare making the shorter skeleton sweat even more. Edge then frowned and his expression became unreadable.

“You didn’t heal? You’re HP-” Edge paused and scowled as if remembering they were in a room full of very frightened bar patrons. “Come on!” Edge said. It sounded like a request to Papyrus but Edge’s hand shot out and grabbed the back of Red’s hoodie pulling him sharply.

“Ah! Shit! Boss, I’m coming!” Red yelled stumbling trying to keep up with the taller skeleton.

Edge quickly and non- to gently pulled Red out of the gaping maw that was once Grillby’s front door. Grillby shot Papyrus and Sans a concerned look. Papyrus cleared his throat.

“These are our, um, cousins! Yes, our cousins from Hotland,” Papyrus announced.

“As you can see they’re a little hot headed,” Sans said with a wink.

“Sans!” Papyrus groaned.

"You can put his drinks, and the door on my tab Grillbz. Paps and I need to make sure they’re uh cooled down,” Sans said. Papyrus gave Sans an anxious look as they made their way back to the house. Surely Red and Edge had gone there?

“Sans I’m worried for Red. Edge is a little. . .” Papyrus said and paused. “Extreme?”

“Me too,” Sans admitted softly and they walked in silence to their home. With a sigh Sans pulled the front door open. The other pair of brothers were arguing quite loudly. Papyrus wasn’t sure if he was relieved or even more worried.

“At least I didn’t kick down a friggin’ door like some homicidal maniac- ”

“You’ve ignored your injuries! You’re at half health Sans! And your solution is to go to the bar and get drunk? What the fuck is wrong with you!”

“I’m not drunk! And maybe if you didn’t break my fucking arm-”

“I’ll break your fucking skull-”

“Stop it!” Papyrus yelled. Both brothers turned and stared at him. Red had the decency to look ashamed and he looked down at his sneakers. Edge just stared at Papyrus as if he was an insect. Papyrus felt Sans’s magic stir next to him anxiously.

“You broke Red’s arm, Edge?” Papyrus said feeling his soul sink with disappointment.

“Oh, don’t give me that look,” Edge snapped. “I don’t care what you think of me. He deserved it.” Edge crossed his arms and leaned against the wall looking away from them angrily.

Papyrus felt a bitter taste in his mouth and shook his head. He was the great Papyrus. Edge was clearly in a very bad place to think that such violence was acceptable or ever deserved. But Papyrus was not going to judge. He was going to help Edge. Helping Edge, well, that meant helping Red too. It was a win-win and he was very great and surely capable of saving Edge and Red both, from Edge.

“You’re at half health?” Sans asked Red quietly.

“I’m fine,” Red snapped. Papyrus checked him.

*SANS (01010101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01100110 01100101 01101100 01101100)

* LV 2 ATK 2 DEF 1 HP 0.5/ 1

*He dares you to try and attack him.

*You are very worried about him.

Papyrus sucked in a breath. 0.5 HP was not good. He wasn’t sure what all those strange numbers meant by his name, but as his Sans didn’t have them he could only assume they meant that Red was a different version of Sans. Which of course, he already knew.

“Don’t check me,” Red said gruffly seeming to sink into his coat. Papyrus sighed. It was rude to check other monsters, but, it had to be done.

“Red, you need to heal,” Papyrus found himself saying.

“I told you, I’m fine,” Red snapped.

“You’re an irresponsible lazyass,” Edge snapped and he closed the distance between himself and Red so fast that Papyrus was curious if Edge also had the ability to ‘disappear’ like Red did.

“Ah, Boss what-” Red yelled and he made a distressed squeak as Edge stood before Red grabbing his upper arm. “Ow! You fucking asshole what are you doing!?”

“What you should have done hours ago,” Edge growled. Red eyes widened and one of his pupils disappeared the other red one standing out.

“Boss! Don’t! Don’t touch my arm! Get off me, you jackass!” Red said and he yelped as he tried to pull out of Edge’s grasp. Red snarled and began kicking Edge in his left femur repeatedly. Papyrus winced at a particularly sharp kick that made Edge growl and slam Red against the wall.

“Stop it!” Edge yelled and Red’s soul turned blue. Red froze looking utterly confused. Edge paused momentarily and glanced at Sans who had his hand stretched out. Papyrus sucked in a breath. Why was Sans helping Edge by using a blue attack?

Red’s sockets were wide and he shot Sans a look of betrayal. Papyrus cringed. It was for Red’s own good, right? Edge was trying to help Red, right? Red yelled out a slew of swears that made Papyrus blush. Bones certainly didn’t belong there, although he’d have to give Red credit for creativity.

Edge pulled Red’s jacket off. Red looked much smaller without it. His ribs could be seen through the red sweatshirt, and there was what looked to be a black collar around his neck. It looked like a dog’s collar.

“Get the fuck off me!” Red snarled. Edge ignored him pulling his left sweatshirt sleeve up over the break making Red hiss with pain. Papyrus winced in sympathy staring at the snapped ulna. Edge gripped above the break causing Red to yelp and his body jerked in pain. Red growled and pulled trying to get away. He didn’t get very far. His soul was still blue and being held firmly down by Sans.

“Sans! You asshole! W-what are you- Stop it! Boss don’t-”

“Shut up whelp!” Edge yelled. “On the count of three I’m going to set the bone. You’re an idiot, you know the bone needs to be set for you to heal.”

“Boss please don’t-”

“One.”

SNAP.

Papyrus gasped and closed his eyes as Red let out a horrible scream. That wasn’t to the count of three at all. When Papyrus opened his eyes Red had quieted and slumped dead weight against his brother’s chest. Red murmured something softly into his brother’s armor before his sockets closed. Papyrus figured Red’s low HP combined with the pain and the spiked mustard was too much for him.

“You’re alright,” Edge said in almost a whisper. It was surprisingly gentle seeing as it came from Edge. Edge held his brother with one arm, the other was occupied by still firmly gripping the broken ulna, setting it. Sans was next to Edge with the first aid kit and began to help Edge wrap the wound. When did Sans go get the first aid? Sans was so cool.

“I-is Red okay?” Papyrus asked softly.

“Passed out,” Edge said shortly.

“He’ll be okay bro. The arm needed to be set, there was no avoiding it,” Sans said scratching the back of his skull. Sans gave Papyrus a smile but Papyrus could tell it was fake. “Now he can heal properly. Once he wakes up we’ll get him some food and he should be golden.”

Papyrus nodded, feeling unsure.

“No Sans, he’ll be Red.” Papyrus said with a worried smile. Nervousness made him say it. Sans looked like Gyftmas had come early. Papyrus could have sworn his eyelights formed stars for a few seconds.

“Oh my god, bro! That’s hilarious!”

“Well I am very great. I can be humorous too,” Papyrus said clearing his throat trying to sound more confident than he felt.

“Bro, you mean humerus!” Sans said with a wink.

“Ugh,” Edge groaned. “All of you are terrible. Unconscious lazy asses included,” Edge snapped and he stood up holding Red almost bridal style. He carried his brother to the living room and gently laid him on the couch, taking care to not jostle the broken arm in its makeshift cast.

Papyrus couldn’t help but smile. It was nice to see Edge look almost worried about his brother. Papyrus knew there was good in this darker version of himself. He knew he shouldn’t say anything, but, good behavior should be encouraged, right? This was a pivotal time in Edge’s life. He was in a new place and at a place he could question his world views and make changes, Edge could grow as a person!

“Edge, I just wanted to say that I think it’s really good of you to take care of your brother like this,” Papyrus said beaming. Edge shot Papyrus a sour look.

“I broke his arm in the first place,” Edge snapped.

"Yes, well… but-but- you are correcting it,” Papyrus said trying to stay positive. It really shouldn’t be so difficult to give praise. Why was Edge making it difficult?

“Tch!” Edge scowled looking like he had been insulted. “Because I need him to heal faster so I can interrogate the little shit about that monster who died!” Edge yelled and he crossed his arms giving the floor a mutinous look. Papyrus’s soul froze.

“Monster who died?” Papyrus echoed softly. “A monster is dead?”

“Who?” Sans demanded.

“I saw a rabbit monster murdered by a bone attack by the ruins. The monster who did the killing vanished without a trace. I’m thinking teleportation. I can’t even take myself seriously entertaining the idea it was your Sans. I mean, come on look at him,” Edge said staring at Papyrus before giving Sans a look of utter contempt. Sans frowned at him. “So that leaves only one other suspect.”

“Um, you?” Sans suggested his sockets narrowed. Papyrus winced and swallowed hard.

“If I killed someone, believe me, I’d take credit. The lazy ass,” Edge said gesturing to the unconscious Red, “almost never kills. When he can actually manage to summon magic, he hits fucking hard. I want to know why he killed this time. So, no, Papyrus I wasn’t being ‘nice’ or ‘a good brother’ or ‘righting my wrong deeds’.” Edge’s red eyes flashed darkly, “I’m helping Red to earn enough trust for him to be honest with me about that monster’s murder. It’s called manipulation.”

Papyrus looked away feeling like a rock in his stomach was sinking further and further. It’s not true. Papyrus took a deep breath. You can’t fake concern like that, right? He didn’t have to be so gentle when Red was unconscious if he was trying to manipulate him, right? Red would have had no idea.

“If that’s true Edge, then I feel sorry for you,” Papyrus said shaking his head. Edge looked utterly confused.

"What?” Edge hissed.

Papyrus shook his head again. He needed to clear his head. Edge was in need of so much help, but, a monster was dead. Papyrus’s soul ached. He needed to report the murder to Undyne. The family would need consoling. The town needed to mourn, a valued member was gone. Papyrus wasn’t sure which member of the rabbit monsters had passed, as there were many rabbit monsters in Snowdin. He was sure after talking to neighbors, one would be mentioned to be missing. Papyrus’s soul sank even further. This was terrible.

There was a murderer loose and he was certain it was not Red. Undyne was trying to find the human, but Papyrus would have to try and find her. He did hope telling her the human was wearing a tutu had been a good idea. He didn’t actually want her to capture the human after all but he still felt very bad for lying. But a monster was dead, he had to find her and tell her. It was much more important than her plans to capture the human.

“Sorry for me!?” Edge growled interrupting Papyrus’s thoughts, “Why would you feel sorry for me? Shouldn’t you feel sorry for him!?” Edge snapped pointing at Red.

“No, sorry for you,” Papyrus said softly. Papyrus turned to Sans. “I need to report this to Undyne.”

“Bro, wait, come on, you don’t have to be the one to do that,” Sans said looking concerned. Papyrus forced a smile.

"No, it’s fine Sans. I can find her faster than anyone, I’ll be home in a few hours,” Papyrus said quickly and he walked out the door.

***

sans

“You know,” Sans drawled shoving his hands in his jacket pockets the moment the door closed behind Papyrus, “It takes a lot to get my brother to be disappointed in someone.” Edge rolled his eye lights.

“Does it?” Edge drawled and his eyelights flickered past Sans and he gasped, “By the stars! Sans look!” Edge said pointing over Sans’s shoulder. Warily Sans glanced over to seeing absolutely nothing.

“What...I don’t-”

“It’s the fuck I give about what you and your brother think of me! But where is Sans? It’s not there! nothing’s there! What could this mean?”

Sans scowled at the taller skeleton who gave him a shit eating grin. San’s took a deep breath and smiled. He stepped toward the taller skeleton.

“Look let’s get things straight edge. You can be a dick. I can’t stop that. But I don’t like you, I don’t forgive you for what you did to Papyrus this morning, I don’t want you here, and I’d prefer you go back to whatever hell that spawned you.” Sans’s smile widened and Edge scowled down at him.

“Was that a fucking pun!?” Edge demanded. Sans merely grinned and shrugged.

“Since I don’t ever, really, get that lucky you’re probably gonna be here for a while so let’s lay down some ground rules. You ever touch my brother again or break another one of your brother’s bones and, well, buddy,” San’s felt his eyelights go out,

“Y o u r g o i n g t o h a v e a b a d t i m e.”

Edge for a moment, looked completely caught off guard. Actually, the tall skeleton had stiffened and flinched, taking a step back from the shorter skeleton. Sans raised a browbone at the reaction. He didn’t think he’d spook the asshole, but apparently, he did. Interesting, he’d have to remember that. Edge quickly recovered and his shocked features shifted back to his usual scowl.

“A threat? Really? That was pathetic,” Edge drawled his sockets narrowing.

“I think of it as more of a prediction, actually,” Sans drawled his eyelights reappearing and he gave the taller skeleton a wink. Edge gave him a murderous look, but gave no other reply. Maybe he was still spooked?

“Well I’m bone tired. Think I’m going to crash. There’s blankets and pillows in the hall closet, you can sleep on the living room floor,” Sans drawled his smile widening. He didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with his brother’s murder happy alternate in the house but he wasn't sure he had much of a choice with how tired his bones felt. He never seemed to have much energy. He wondered if this was a trait he and Red shared?

“The floor?” Edge hissed looking positively outraged. “That is unacceptable. I’m taking Papyrus’s room!” He snapped and Sans sighed as he watched the taller skeleton stomp up the stairs and into his brother’s room slamming the door. Choose your battles Sans, let it go. Whelp, at least this meant Edge wouldn’t murder Red in the night. Or at least he probably wouldn’t.

Great.

He supposed he’d take the floor next to Red and Papyrus could have his bed. He teleported upstairs to grab two blankets and blipped back down. He walked into the living room and looked at his counterpart. The sharp jagged fangs. The red eyelights gone, sockets closed. The little scrapes and scars on his bones. Even unconscious Red looked tense. His phalanges were digging into the couch and his shoulders were stiff. What kind of world had these two come from? What kind of world could make a version of Papyrus like that. A version of himself like this?

Not a very happy one, in Sans’s opinion. How could it be? Sans looked away; it was rude to stare, even if Red was sleeping. He sighed before covering Red with a blanket. How did these two even get here? He had only ever theorized about alternate timelines, never mind how one would travel from one dimension or timeline to another. This definitely didn’t mean good things for the timestream. Sans didn’t want to even check. Did the anomaly bring them here? Was their world destroyed and they somehow ended up here? Sans covered his face. Too much to think about. Too much to worry about. Nothing good was going to come from this.

***

ReTsAG .D.W-

...

W.D. GASTER

Patience.

Patience is a virtue. Patience is a trait needed for science, you see. Hypotheses, testing, trial, and error. These require patience. But I’m sick of being patient. I’ve been patient for So. Long.

You were never patient, were you?

I didn’t think so. You’re such a mess, how do you even stand to look at yourself?

My patience is about to be rewarded. I’ve spent so long putting the pieces of myself back together. I’m incomplete. Data is missing. Parts are gone. The parts that aren’t gone are insufficient.

You see the parts I’ve found are broken; -I can’t get the pieces of me to fit back together.- The puzzle pieces are stretched, torn, changed. They won’t fit. They can’t fit. I’m something new.

They will put me back together. They will make me whole. Experiments S-4 and P-7. But they are not enough. I need more. I think, ‘Red’ and ‘Edge’ will work nicely, don’t you? We’ll call them UFS-4 and UFP-7. You know what? USS-4 and USP-7 might be needed as well. I don’t know about SFS-4 and SFP-7 you know their situation is...unique. The last time we went there it ended. . .poorly. Data was lost. We will leave them. But the rest….

Don’t give me that look. They are insignificant. All of the S-4’s and P-7’s in all of the universes. They are nothing. They are expendable. Experiments never meant to see the light of day, each and every one in every single universe.

“01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100001 01100010 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01010101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01100011 01100001 01100111 01100101 00111111”

Except for that one! Do not speak of that ridiculous excuse of a universe. -We do. not.- speak of that one. It is one of infinity and is meaningless. Like you.

I’m talking too much. I never talk this much. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to talk with my own mouth you know. Or form a coherent thought without you. And it’s their fault. I take a deep breath and stare ahead. Stare at them. S-4 slumped against the foot of a green couch. UFS-4 who they have dubbed as ‘Red’ slowly waking.

He looks directly at me, one single eyelight red and glowing. I stare back, and smile.

Soon.

Soon I will consume you one by one and become whole.

WhOlE

Next Chapter Place Holder

#my fanfiction #undertale fanfiction #Underfell Papyrus #underfell sans #Papyrus #sans the skeleton #gaster

2 notes · View notes

lysitheaioandeuropa · 7 years ago

Note

1-100 cute questions

:~)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?- more cereal than milk! it has to be crunchy and milk is fucking gross, even though i use almond milk instead

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?- FUCK yeah, especially if it's also sunny outside

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?- grocery receipts are the usual culprit. maybe i should make my own bookmarks!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?- rn i'm having sugar free white chocolate w half & half and 3 splenda

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?- i'm self conscious of my entire existence my friend

6: do you keep plants?- yes! she gave me and orchid and a bamboo plant a while back, and i have ian my aloe/succulent

7: do you name your plants?- lmfao yes, ian! she named the bamboo melman, and i never named the orchid. zack and sabrina are no longer w us unfortunately

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?- i used to write and draw a lot. i don't get a chance to do it as often now but i rly am trying more. i'll even try my hand at inktober this year but yikes scared bc i can't actually draw

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?- hell yeah bitch if i am in the mood for it

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?- all of the above? lmao. my back is most cozy but sleep paralysis, so a mix of side stomach like its a specific diagonal ass position on my bed lol

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?- "coming this soon"

12: what's your favorite planet?- FUCKING JUPITER BRO OMFG MY URL ARE TWO OF MY FAVE MOONS OF JUPITER TEST ME BITCH

13: what's something that made you smile today?- i don't think i've smiled today? maybe something michelle said earlier when we went to lowe's

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?- *takes pics of my current place*might have a little more aesthetic to it just bc location though. and if i live in a bigger city than orlando that means i have more money to REALLY fulfill my aesthetic wishes

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!- Recent work by planetary scientists has indicated that the deep atmospheres of Jupiter and Saturn may contain chunks of diamond floating in a liquid hydrogen-helium fluid. MEANING, it rains diamonds on jupiter

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?- permission crusted chicken, w angel hair in a lemon butter sauce

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?- i was going for a magenta over the summer and was p successful but my mom paid for me to not keep lightening and shit, that wasn't my money so idc lol rn its auburn-ish. i rly do still want a light blond/almost gray though

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.- the time i got incredibly drunk, like, throwing up and dying can't even walk drunk like wow i'm not like that lmao so when that happens it's wild

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?- i have multiple journals and a sketch book. the sketch book is whatever i feel inspired to draw atm and bc thats so rare i just be picking it up and going lmao. i hardly write anymore, these questions kinda keep me going

20: what's your favorite eye color?- light brown is vastly underrated tbh, like yeah green is cool but i have always been a sucker for hazel or just noticeably lighter brown eyes. i remember this one boy in the 8th grade had me swooning w that alone lmao and ofc my gf now its soo nice

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.- i no longer have it, but i had the same jansport since the seventh grade. i used to customize it and sew on letters or iron on, change it up ever so often, and got rid of it senior year of high school

22: are you a morning person?- i really am not, but everyone thinks i am since i'm up at 6am even the days i ain't got shit to do

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?- PLAY VIDEO GAMES. draw, do these questions, sometimes even brainstorm ideas about books i'll never write

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?- shit every single one of them? well nvm, yeah there is. jordan. that's my ride or die forreal and honestly i think she does know ABSOLUTELY everything there is to know about me. timmy too actually!

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?- hmm idk if it counts but this one "abandoned house" in the gables to smoke, and the rooftop of merrick park late at night

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?- bro i had these low top black and white converse that i got for christmas one year from this boy that rly liked me lmao i kept them for a hotttt minute, through college i think but had to throw them away when the sole finally gave out

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?- just mint is fine

28: sunrise or sunset?- sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?- just how she remembers and notices absolutely everything. i moved a pin in my room once and after not having been over for a week she asked me where it was as soon as she walked in

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?- yeah last night when i was home alone and i swear i thought i heard knocks on my bedroom door which would be impossible. fuck no i didn't open it

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.- i think socks are cool, they make my feet soft if i put them on immediately after showering & moisturizing. they protect your heels from getting too cracked as well. i don't care for white socks, but am a slut for black no show ones. i sometimes have to buy kids socks bc my feet are so fucking small that no show, still show. i like aesthetic socks! like the ones w cartoons and stuff like that. and knee high socks can be sexy, just maybe not on me?

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.- i don't be w friends like that? OH but this one night we went to see Laidback Luke at Space and then we went to Nikki beach to drink some more and watch the sun rise and we all rly bonded and i learned some shit about my friends i def ain't know before it was rly nice. there was a dog we met there named molly LMFAO

33: what's your fave pastry?- i like lemon and red velvet stuff. guava and cheese pastries are good too i miss them

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?- okay i didn't rly have any stuffed animals as a kid, but that boy i was obsessed with, omar, he gave me a plush lil puppy one year for christmas and omg i cherished it lmao. but then my dog got it and i was so sad :(

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?- FUCK YEAH I DO. i use them often, though not as often as before like i need to get back on track w being organized

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?- arctic monkeys, always

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?- clean!!!! i finished cleaning it completely today and wow i feel like a brand new person

38: tell us about your pet peeves!- messes stress me outtttttt, like gross unhygienic messes omfg

39: what color do you wear the most?- black bitch, next

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?- i have these 1/4 carat diamond earrings that i received as a christmas gift last year from one of my kids and it was just so sweet and i rly love them, they're the only earrings i wear now

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?- the zodiac series! and lord of shadows!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!- no i don't, not yet at least. i would like to find a rly rly nice one, maybe we'll go hunting for one next weekend. there are two rly good boba places i like though!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?- michelle maybe? and no gaze, we just noticed the starts were nice during that hurricane lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?- july 8, 2017 it was short lived limited to just that day lmao but it was nice

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?- some times? my instincts don't be telling me a lot tbh

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.- "what did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis"

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?- sea food? fucking pickles!! mustard too

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?- roaches, and possibly hell yeah

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?- i do! but i have apple music now so i do not buy music or anything any more

50: what's an odd thing you collect?- tickets. plane tickets, parking tickets, concert tickets, admission tickets, sometimes even receipts, if it has a nice enough memory attached to it i collect it

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?- nothing i can think of at the moment

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?- salt bae, all the "it" memes, the neo yokio memes, "i had to do it to em," x-files memes

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?- i'm familiar w rocky horror & the heathers, love beattle juice, haven't watched pulp fiction

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?- myself whenever i look in the mirror

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?- i don't rly be doing shit "just to prove a point" thats rly petty

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- love when their faces light up talking about some shit that gets them hype

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?- i rly don't fucking care for bohemian rhapsody like why is that a thing

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?- i am vodka aunt

59: what's your favorite myth?- I LOVE ALL GREEK MYTHOLOGY EQUALLY. norse mythology is cool too, as is celtic but i think greek is my fave

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?- poetry is hard to get into bc so much of it doesn't resonate w me or comes off as fake deep tumblr posts (i'm looking @ you milk and honey). howl by allen ginsberg is still my fave

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?- i'm always surprised to be getting any gifts at all, i don't think i have ever received anything "stupid." my gf used to love giving me food and candy though but like i'm fat so no. and i don't give gifts without putting any thought into it so i have never given a "stupid" gift either.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?- no, i drink ice cold water and coffee. sometimes crystal light which isn't rly juice to me i think its just flavored water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?- nigga YES! i just reorganized my entire bookshelf and my itunes is not as neat bc i'm behind but i also keep that rly meticulously done

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?- blue-ish gray

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?- my gf, lmao. thuy!!!! nick and andres too omg!!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?- not roses, it'd be an assortment of a ton of flowers, lots of pink and green and white

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?- i fucking THRIVE it's nice, scary movie and reading weather

68: what's winter like where you live?- it's FAKE AS HELL. i wish it just a tad cooler, like ten or fifteen degrees

69: what are your favorite board games?- i like scategories and the game of life. candyland!

70: have you ever used a ouija board?- those are caucasian activities no thank you

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?- great tea or tazo passion tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?- HELL YEAH and i'll note it down multiple times like written, typed, phone agenda, etc it's hard and i hate my shit memory

73: what are some of your worst habits?- procrastination is the worst i think

75: tell us about your pets!- i don't have any :( i would count zeus but i'm also deathly allergic to him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?- yeah!!!!! smh

77: pink or yellow lemonade?- "why not both?" probably pink more

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?- hate that shit they're so ugly and annoying and gross and hate how they talk like bro

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?- i never thought my mom cared about me tbh but she threw me a huge graduation/birthday party i cried.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?- they're a nude/beige, i didn't pick it but i'm also not painting over. its nice though

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.- this sounds nice in theory but i dont rly have the energy for it rn lol

82: are/were you good in school?- i was but i coasted, had i tried a lot harder and dedicated more time to it i could have been better

83: what's some of your favorite album art?-i can't think of any rly

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?- i have to add to what i have on my back, and have a few more i would like but am not sure about

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?- i do! i'm actually reading one now on tumblr, its called countdown to countdown and its rather interesting. i like twd comics, and am also reading the OoT manga. i rly love manga too actually, inuyasha was the first one i read that got me into it

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?- BECAUSE THE INTERNET, CHILDISH GAMBINO

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?- i've seen a ton of movies dude. i think spirited away or kiki's delivery service, or princess mononoke. ghibli movies w strong female leads. howl's moving castle too but it does focus more on romance. i should reread the book

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?- i'm not familiar enough w art to tell you! i think art is rly interesting though, and don't particularly care for modern art

89: are you close to your parents?- not rly, but am more so as an adult. i don't tell them my business or anything like that though

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.- seattle just really resonates w me and the more i talk about it the stupider it sounds. but i have been to quite a few cities, DC, atlanta, Tallahassee, miami, san diego, vegas, the list goes on. none of them made me feel the way seattle does. maybe bc i went alone? maybe the time period that i went? some of the memories attached to the city kind of suck now, lol, but still rly important to me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?- nowhere in particular this year, but i'm def going back to seattle next year guaranteed, maybe doing paradiso

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?- if its my own sauce then no cheese at all, otherwise olive garden def hates me

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?- i just wash it and wear it down

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?- today is felisha's bday apparently

95: what are your plans for this weekend?- uh idk, ig see my gf. i'm avoiding a baby shower but idk what we'll do instead

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?- i procrastinate on them a ton lmfao "remind me later" yeah bitch in like a century

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?- INTP, gemini, ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?- i don't think i ever have gone hiking

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- i'm sure there are a few but nothing i can think of off the top of my head. reflection by 5h actually lol

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?- FIVE YEARS INTO THE PAST and five years ago is a rly good time to go back to!!! i was 20 and going through suchhhhh a bad break up but i wish i could have gotten up and been a bad bitch sooner lol i love the stuff i experienced that year, went to my first edc and whatnot. 2013 was rough on me but i pushed through it! 2014 i made some bad choices that i would change, 2015 wan alright but i can do it better and i'm not even sure what 2016 was. i would have started teaching sooner had i known it was something i could do i think. i would have worked harder and been more responsible especially financially, though tbh i did pretty well. i'd just do adulthood a lot better and start off a lot stronger. I WOULD REDO THAT LOCKHEED INTERVIEW AND ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

#personal #inthemoodforlovee #asks

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joshuaferris · 5 years ago

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Last weekend we decided to leave the city and head to a cabin in northeastern PA on Paupackan Lake. It was my birthday, I had been locked away at home since March, and Philly’s protests were leading to a lot of stress. Recently I’ve been worried about the interplay between the movement for Black Lives and the COVID-19 pandemic. I don’t want the uprising to stop and I am worried about everyone in the streets becoming infected with the virus.

A Victoria sponge.

Samer made a very classic Victoria sponge cake with homemade strawberry jam from Lebanon. We ate some for breakfast and then made our way out of the city. I wanted to try some road food on the way, so I remember hearing about a famous hot dog place in Allentown. My friend Dennis told me to skip it and make our way over to Easton and try Jimmy’s Hot Dogs. It’s a cash-only place in a strip small, and I thought it was great. It’s pretty simple, you get a good hot dog on a bun with mustard and a full pickle spear. I skipped the onions. That’s the entire thing. If you like a good hot dog and are in Easton, PA, you should check it out. I had 2! The (very) big dude behind us in line ordered 9. Sam is sure that he ordered for a family. I’m skeptical.

On our way to the cabin at 111 West Shore Drive, I typed in the wrong address. I typed in something like 11 North Shore Drive. We pulled in to a drive that did not look like the picturesque cabin that we saw on Airbnb. It was more of a bayou setting. Trailers very close to the water, lots of trucks, and at least 2 dudes with rat tails and or mullets. Pulling up, I was a little nervous about how a gay couple in a Mini Cooper was going to be received. We couldn’t get reception, and I was a bit of a nervous wreck. A toned-down, Joe Exotic stopped to ask us if we needed anything, but we said we were figuring it out. Moments later, a cop pulled up behind us. I was convinced these dudes had called the police on us. Samer assured me that the police in this area were not that efficient, but I wanted to bounce as soon as possible. All I kept thinking was that we stumbled onto a meth operation, and this small-town police is running a protection racket. Admittedly, my imagination probably got away from me.

Wrong Location -> Correct Location

We drove until we got cellular reception and then realized we were 20 minutes away from Paupackan Lake. We made our way over and were so happy when we arrived. I was not working that day, but my lead for the last few years retired that day, and I was one of the emcees for his Zoom retirement party. The cabin had terrible reception, so we drove up to the volunteer fire department parking lot where we could find LTE with 3 bars. We celebrated Dave and I made a few jokes. It was a tough week to do any joke writing, so I think it was my B-game. Certainly not my A-game. Also, being funny on Zoom is brutal. There is absolutely no feedback. I really feel for every comedian trying to make it work right now. That being said, all reports said he enjoyed it.

Sunset on Paupackan Lake

Ok, back to my birthday weekend. On Friday night, we split a bottle of wine and watched the sunset from the dock. It was very peaceful and felt a million miles away from the chaos of the quarantine or the intensity of the anti-racist uprising happenings. We made cod, garlic scapes, and a tomato and mozzarella salad for dinner. It was so delicious. Falling asleep was delightfully comfortable and quiet. There were no explosions from fireworks, psy-ops, or ATMs blowing up. There were no lights from all of the city’s light pollution and my phone was on airplane mode in my bag.

On Saturday, Sam continued the birthday celebration by making me biscuits & gravy. This is my favorite dish from Ohio that does not exist in the east. I could pass on most Midwestern recipes, but this south to the midwest breakfast is so goddamn good. I love sausage gravy. How could you not, but the truth is, this best biscuits & gravy I’ve ever had was at the Portland, OR farmers market in 2009, and it was made with brown mushroom gravy. It was delicious. Sam decided to make a mushroom gravy. It was terrific and as good as sausage gravy. While he cooked, I meditated on the dock and was lucky enough to see a bald eagle skimming the lake’s surface.

The dock of our cabin.

We kayaked around the lake for about 2 hours after breakfast. There is a lot of marshland that you can skirt and see birds on Paupackan. On our way home, the wind picked up, and the paddle back was much more tiring than when we started. We spent the rest of the afternoon, napping and reading. Samer escaped to the hammock, and I really got into my book. I’m reading The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch. I am not a fantasy genre lover, but I am enjoying it.

A little dragonfly

For dinner, Samer made the best pork chop I’ve ever had. He made a sauce from red wine, apple butter, and apple cider vinegar. We paired it with a Cabernet Sauvignon and finished the birthday cake. It was a fantastic meal.

Waking up on Sunday meant that the weekend had already passed. Ugh, I loved the cabin. It’s difficult to describe how loved nature, the lack of connectivity, and the simplicity of everything. We decided to check out Lake Wallenpaupack before we left. That’s a vast and famous lake in the area.

We stopped by one marina and decided to check out the Lacawac Sanctuary on our way home, but on the drive, our tire went flat. We have drive-flat tires, so we limped to a gas station about 5 miles away only to discover our entire tire had completely blown out and was destroyed. We don’t know what happened. Maybe it was a little low, and the road’s curve hit it just right, but there was no saving it. I walked to the Advanced Auto Parts, where they told me the only tire guy open on a Sunday was M&J Tires. We drove another 8 miles on a flat and started getting nervous as we left the main road to see more Trump-Pence signs. If this guy didn’t have a tire, where in the hell were we stranded?

We pulled up to the tire shop and were met by 2 monster trucks flanking the entrance. No one came to meet us. I surmised the one person not fidgeting with a tire may be the customer in front of me. I asked her who was in charge and she pointed me to a guy named Mike in the back of the shop. He was not much for chatting and told me he’d be with me in 5 minutes. To an outsider, this scene may be overwhelming, but my life in rural Ohio prepared me for this. A big shop, lots of tires inside, outside, outback, on their sides, in racks, etc. and a dude who is not good with small talk or business formalities. I’ve got this.

At this point, we realized our cell phones were not getting any signal. Our Mini Cooper has a weird tire size, and my guess was that neither foreign cars nor gay couples with at least one foreign-born member frequented the shop. When Mike asked me about the car, I was frank, “I don’t know, man. I just drive it.” I knew I was setting myself up to get ripped off, but I was 130 miles from home.

Mike is a totally nice guy. He replaced my tire in a few minutes and then only charged me $45 for a new tire. I tipped well, and we made our way home.

I had a wonderful birthday, and it was so great to take the weekend to leave town. We maintained social distancing, enjoyed some nature, and utterly unplugged. I loved it, I appreciated it, and want to go back very soon.

My Birthday Weekend Last weekend we decided to leave the city and head to a cabin in northeastern PA on Paupackan Lake…

#Journal

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piilokarsastus · 6 years ago

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100 this or that

1. Coffee or tea? I don’t drink coffee so I’m gonna say tea even though I’m not too fond of tea either. It smells great but tastes like a disappointment. 2. Black and white or color? color 3. Drawings or paintings? paintings 4. Dresses or skirts? both are cute 5. Books or movies? I feel like I have to say books because it’s the more cultivated thing to enjoy but during these last few years I’ve only read a handful of books but watched weeks’ worth of tv shows. I do value literature slightly more as an art form, but I’ve come to notice that you can watch a bad film in 2 hours and laugh it off but a bad book is a prolonged disappointment. 6. Pepsi or Coke? I don’t drink either 7. Chinese or Italian? Chinese. As a European, Italian food is really just “food”, although pizza and pasta are kind of the backbone of my diet so... fuck it, changing my answer to Italian. Also gelato is life. 8. Early bird or night owl? night owl all the way 9. Chocolate or vanilla? depends, but if this is about ice cream, vanilla it is 10. Introvert or extrovert? I’m somewhere in between, slightly on the introvert side 11. Hugs or kisses? What is a kiss without a hug? 12. Hunting or fishing? Fishing 13. Winter or summer? Summer 14. Spring or fall? Fall, or as I like to call it, autumn 15. Rural or urban? Urban, with a profound presence of nature. I need to be able to walk in a forest by a lake or a river whenever I want, but if I see a tractor, I’ve walked too far. 16. PC or Mac? PC 17. Tan or pale? pale 18. Cake or pie? pie 19. Ice cream or yogurt? is anyone seriously going to say yogurt when ice cream is a choice? 20. Ketchup or mustard? I don’t use either 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? I don’t like pickles 22. Comedy or mystery? Mystery 23. Boots or sandals? Boots 24. Silver or gold? Silver’s prettier for jewellery 25. Pop or Rock? rock 26. Dancing or singing? singing 27. Checkers or chess? chess 28. Board games or video games? video games 29. Wine or beer? wine 30. Freckles or dimples? dimples 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? BBQ 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? body-weight 33. Baseball or basketball? basketball, although this is trivial since I don’t care about sports 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? crossword puzzles 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? clean, unless you can grow a proper beard 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? Is this what The Shape of Water is about? 37. Skiing or snowboarding? skiing (perkele) 38. Smile or game face? I’ve seriously got no idea what you’re referring to 39. Bracelet or necklace? necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? fruit, mainly because that includes berries

41. Sausage or bacon? Sausage. Bacon’s only really good when it’s crisp. 42. Scrambled or fried? Eggs, as a meal, are not a part of my life so I’ve got no opinion 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? Dark 44. Tattoos or piercings? tattoos although I don’t really care about either 45. Antique or brand new? that depends on the overall aesthetic but generally speaking I slightly prefer antique to modern 46. Dress up or dress down? up 47. Cowboys or aliens? why is this a juxtaposition that exists? 48. Cats or dogs? CATS 49. Pancakes or waffles? Pancakes 50. Bond or Bourne? Never seen Bourne 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? no preference 52. Numbers or letters? An interesting question. We mainly communicate with letters, but on the other hand, understanding abstract numbers has been an important factor in developing complex language. Also, there can only be as many letters as there are possible phonemes, but there are an infinite amount of numbers. 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? Harry Potter 54. Fair or theme park? theme park 55. Money or fame? Money. I’d like my name to be known for what I’ve achieved, but I wouldn’t want my face to be constantly recognised on the street. 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? dishes 57. Snakes or sharks? sharks 58. Orange juice or apple juice? Apple juice. Orange juice is my #1 enemy and I WILL fight it given the chance. 59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset, although there’s something magical in staying up till the sun rises on a summer night. 60. Slacker or over-achiever? I somehow manage to slack while over-achieving. 61. Pen or pencil? Pencil 62. Peanut butter or jelly? Both of these seem like very American things to enjoy. Neither of them is a part of my life. 63. Grammys or Oscars? I don’t keep track of either 64. Detailed or abstract? Both are beautiful 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? As much as I prefer drawing a few circles to writing a multiple-page coherent academic text, I have to say that I’d rather have my grade depend on my writing skills than on my ability to choose the least wrong answer and detect trick questions 66. Adventurous or cautious? Somewhat on the cautious side 67. Saver or spender? saver 68. Glasses or contacts? I don’t really have firsthand experience on either so I can’t say 69. Laptop or desktop? Laptop 70. Classic or modern? I slightly prefer classic but modern’s also great (and actually better when it comes to literature) 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? chef 72. Internet or cell phone? internet (I don’t really get the question since the two have pretty much been in symbiosis for the last 10 years) 73. Call or text? text 74. Curly hair or straight hair? I like natural hair. Chemically straightened or curled hair looks kinda ugly. 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? Over the years, my position has changed several times. Currently, I’m an evening showerer because it grants me 15 more minutes to procrastinate getting up in the morning. 76. Spicy or mild? Mild but not bland 77. Marvel or DC? I don’t care about comics but the few Marvel movies I’ve seen have been funny. The Dark Knight trilogy was also great though so I’ve got to give some points to DC 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? what is this adult language, I’m but a wee baby 79. Sky dive or bungee jump? Never tried either but I feel like skydiving would be more my thing 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? only had oreos 81. Jello or pudding? another question that feels very American 82. Truth or dare? Truth. 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? Roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? denim 85. Stripes or solids? solids 86. Bagels or muffins? I’ve only ever had sweet muffins so they don’t really compare 87. Whole wheat or white? whole wheat 88. Beads or pearls? I’m not really sure what the difference is since they’re the same word in Finnish but it seems beads come in many varieties and pearls are just... pearls. So beads it is. 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood. Carpet flooring is not a thing in Finland nor should it be anywhere. 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? Neutral 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? I’m torn between being a few years older to better connect with all the interesting people in my life and experiencing certain things about my early teens again/in a different way 92. Raisins or nuts? nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? both have their time and place. 94. Black leather or brown leather? brown 95. Long hair or short hair? whatever looks cute on you 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? yeah I wonder 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction is art, non-fiction is just otherwise interesting and important 98. Smoking or non-smoking? non-smoking 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? think before you talk 100. Asking questions or answering questions? Answering. I live off of getting to tell things about myself.

#Random info about me

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zed-air · 6 years ago

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On the Road: The Wurst of Times - 2018

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Ever since my first visit to Germany back in 2010, I’ve been a sausage nut. In subsequent years, I’ve taken greater pleasure eating them. When my family revisited Europe in 2017, I made a sausage adventure of it (see THE WURST OF TIMES - 2017).

I didn’t travel as extensively this year. My stops in Toronto and Ottawa were, sadly, frank free. I did however make a whirlwind one-day trip to Calgary. So, looking at Calgary and Edmonton, here are THE WURST OF TIMES - 2018 (Alberta edition).

- - - - -

Tubby Dog, Calgary

Pros: lots of variety, great atmosphere, conversation pieces

Cons: some menu items more fun than delicious, can be hard to eat

Cost: mid-to-high

Tubby Dog is legendary amongst Albertans of my generation, and probably the next generation as well. It’s a concert venue, a small arcade, and a purveyor of obscene, mutant hot dogs. I’ve eaten there 3-4 times over the last decade, and I try to visit whenever I come to town.

That being said, I always leave a bit disappointed. Not because I won’t get another fix for who knows how long, but because their pre-fab menu is actually kind of underwhelming. Tubby Dog’s claim to fame is in its bounty of franks overloaded with unorthodox toppings. More often than not, these make the actual experience of eating the dog problematic, but they also skew the flavours out of balance with each other. I’m all for weird toppings, you still need to be able to eat and taste the thing.

They do offer a “Choose Your Own Adventure” option (build your own), which I should probably stick to henceforth. Here (above right) is a loaded CYOA with cheese, bacon, and a few other items I can’t identify. That one belonged to my companion. Mine (above left) is their “Sumo” dog, with Japanese mayo, wasabi, pickled ginger, seaweed salad, and sesame seeds - all things I enjoy, but which are piled to such a degree that you can’t eat them along with the rest of the dog. As a result, you basically end up discarding the toppings, or eating them separately from the frank. Not ideal. If they just scaled-back some of the toppings, you could enjoy it all together.

Below was my second frank. I think this is a “Harlo” (bacon, cheese, mustard, relish). I wasn’t aware it used liquid jalapeño cheese (which I don’t enjoy) instead of the same grated cheese shown above, and it rather ruined it for me.

Tubby Dog - I’ll be back, but next time I’m building my own.

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IKEA

Pros: very cheap, veggie options, echoes Scandinavian polsen & pylsa

Cons: few options, tiny foodstuff, can’t build your own hot dog... at IKEA

Cost: bargain

In 2018, IKEA began offering a veggie dog at its cafeterias. This in itself isn’t newsworthy, but note all those interesting extra toppings. The veggie dogs come loaded with pickled veggies, as well as crunchy onions and some kind of sauce resembling Icelandic remoulade. In fact, the whole object sort of resembles a mutant Icelandic pylsa - a beloved foodstuff.

Sadly, most of the toppings were pretty flavourless, and the sausage substitute was more a rough paste than a solid wiener. I might try it again sometime, but I left underwhelmed. I wish you could get these toppings as an option on their regular hot dogs. Maybe that combo would produce stronger results.

Still, these were better than any of the ghastly hot dogs I ate in Stockholm.

______

Costco

Pros: very cheap, includes fountain drink, substantial foodstuff

Cons: can be greasy, can be old during slow periods

Cost: bargain

Arguably, the most dependable spot for a hot dog ‘round these parts remains Costco’s cafeteria. That being said, not all Costco sausage experiences are created equal - occasionally you’ll get one that’s disappointing. Trouble is, you don’t know which you’ve got until you commence chowing down.

I’ve been shopping at Costco for nearly 30 years - which is unusual in this area. I remember back when the only other customers were convenience-store owners, vending-machine proprietors, independent restauranteurs, and other resellers. Now it’s mostly suburban families. Times change.

In my youth, my dad would buy us their delicious Polish Sausages. This is back when the only items in the cafeteria were soda and two varieties of hot dog. It was a cheap meal that remained a ritual which we all enjoyed for years. Sometime in the late 1990s, before the menu began expanding, the Polish Sausages vanished. Fast forward a few years, Costco expanded their cafeteria menu, switched from Coke to Pepsi (tragic), and eventually re-introduced a Polish Sausage option. Since changing to Pepsi, I’m certain other menu items have changed origins, because most items taste different to how they used to.

The new Polish sausages (above) have a greyer hue, probably due to their higher black pepper and garlic content. I like both of those things, but I don’t like the end result so much. I usually stick to the standard hot dog instead (below).

The best part of Costco’s franks remains the steamed buns, which are an afterthought with most hot dog vendors but are arguably as important as the sausage to me. They’ve also increased their condiment options now. I usually add raw onions, because the sausages, though boiled, are on the greasy side. They also need some kind of sauce to cut the grease, Usually I’m stuck with ketchup, because they don’t have any decent mustards available. The radioactive yellow mustard they do offer spoils the experience by overwhelming all other flavours and guaranteeing prolonged heartburn.

Compare sausages below. With onions: hot dog. With mustard: Polish.

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IT’ Dog

Pros: pretzel buns, lots of options, also fried chicken available

Cons: bewildering options, can be hard to eat

Cost: high

The best hot dog I ate in 2018 was at IT’ Dog.

I’ve eaten at IT’ Dog in Garneau once or twice previously. Last time was back in the days when my dad was being hospitalized. Theirs aren’t traditional hot dogs, but rather Korean mutations of hot dogs. I remember enjoying the food, but that it was expensive.

I ordered this one while killing time waiting for my bus to work. When I saw it, I decided it was safer to stay and eat it straightaway rather than risk transporting a mess. I don’t remember its name, but it comes with bulgogi beef, cheese, green onions, topped with fried shrimp and encased in a pretzel bun. The pretzel bun is genius and delicious.

You can debate if this creation qualifies as a hot dog. I tend to prefer simple preparations. This is another one overloaded with wacky toppings, but everything tasted good. I should really try them again sometime when I’m not bound elsewhere.

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Fat Franks

Pros: convenient (when nearby), sometimes an abundance of condiments

Cons: stale buns, can be dodgy during slow periods, inconsistent

Cost: mid-priced

The worst hot dog I had in 2018, surprisingly, was from Fat Franks - a local Edmonton chain of portable hot dog carts strewn throughout the city, with a few permanent locations. You’ll often find them set up at farmers’ markets and outdoor events. It’s nearly guaranteed that the Whyte Ave location will be inexplicably closed should I visit, regardless of business hours. On average, their hot dogs are reasonably good. Sometimes they’re great, and other times not. The buns will nearly always be stale.

One day, I was driving past the Terwillegar Farmers’ Market, which I’d never visited previously. I didn’t realize the market wasn’t yet opened to the public. Given that we’d already detoured to investigate, my daughter and I wandered around the area waiting for the opening, because by then we’d already committed to getting a hot dog. Sadly, my eventual prize was the worst Fat Franks dog I’ve ever had. The bun was criminally stale, far more than usual. Worse still, I found a substantial piece of plastic in my food while chewing it - origins unknown. My daughter enjoyed her hot dog and couldn’t understand my problems. Better it happen to me than her.

I don’t think I’ve bought a Fat Franks since, but I’ll probably eat one again someday. I doubt I’d bother revisiting that market or vendor again, though.

#oskar zybart #blog #on the road #hot dog #wurst #polsen #pylsur #sausage #edmonton #yeg #calgary #yyc #tubby dog #it dog

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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428.

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Favorite flavor of popsicle? >> --- Do ladders scare you? >> Not usually. Would you ever lie about your past? >> I can’t imagine why I would want to, but who knows. Hot dogs or hamburgers? >> Hamburgers. Do you have any pictures of you and your friends in your bedroom? >> No.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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