#i also think it's particularly interesting that this piece is coming out in the wake of marriage equality in thailand

[flanaganfilm]

Mr. Flanagan, I’d like to ask a question and I deeply hope that it does not offend or upset you. I am strongly considering canceling my Netflix subscription due to their new password sharing policy. However, Midnight Mass is one of my favorite shows of all time and I know it isn’t available on DVD, and I’m also profoundly anticipating your take on my favorite Edgar Allen Poe story. So I wanted to ask your take on people accessing your work through, uh, other means. If it’s something that’s offensive to you or will harm you or the other people who work so hard on these shows, I’ll happily keep my Netflix just so that I can keep supporting your work. I respect you far too much as an artist to do otherwise.

Again, I really hope I’m not upsetting you by asking this question. Thank you for everything, and I hope you’re having a great day!

(NOTE 6/4/2024: I'm editing this entry because, well over a year since it was posted, some journalists dug this up and used it to create click-bait headlines that are misleading, out of context and artificially combative. While I was of course disappointed over the years that Netflix opted not to release my work on physical media, I never experienced any hostility or aggression in those discussions, and I sincerely regret the manner in which this post was used in the press this week.)

Hi there - no offense taken whatsoever, in fact I think this is a very interesting and important question.

So. If you asked me this a few years ago, I would have said "I hate piracy and it is hurting creators, especially in the independent space." I used to get in Facebook arguments with fans early in my career when people would post about seeing my work on torrent sites, especially when that work was readily available for rent and purchase on VOD.

Back in 2014, my movie Before I Wake was pirated and leaked prior to any domestic release, and that was devastating to the project. It actually made it harder to find distribution for the film. By the time we were able to get distribution in the US, the film had already been so exposed online that the best we could hope for was a Netflix release. Netflix stepped in and saved that movie, and for that I will always be grateful to them.

However...

Working in streaming for the past few years has made me reconsider my position on piracy.

In the years I worked at Netflix, I tried very hard to get them to release my work on blu-ray and DVD.

It became clear very fast that their priority was subscriptions, and that they were not particularly interested in physical media releases of their originals, with a few exceptions.

While companies like Netflix pride themselves on being disruptors, and have proven that they can affect great change in the industry, they sometimes fail to see the difference between disruption and damage. So much that they can find themselves, intentionally or not, doing harm to the concept of film preservation.

The danger comes when a title is only available on one platform, and then - for whatever reason - is removed.

We have already seen this happen. And it is only going to happen more and more. Titles exclusively available on streaming services have essentially been erased from the world. If those titles existed on the marketplace on physical media, like HBO's Westworld, the loss is somewhat mitigated (though only somewhat.) But when titles do not exist elsewhere, they are potentially gone forever.

The list of titles that have been removed from streaming services is growing.

I still believe that where we put our dollars matters. Renting or buying a piece of work that you like is essential. It is casting a vote, encouraging studios - who only speak the language of money - to invest more effort into similar work. If we show up to support distinct, unique, exciting work, it encourages them to make more of it. It's as simple as that. If we don't show up, or if they can't hear our voice because we are casing our vote "silently" through torrent sites or other means - it makes it unlikely that they will take a chance to create that kind of work again.

Which is why I typically suggest that if you like a movie you've seen through - uh - other means, throw a few dollars at that title on a legitimate platform. Rent it. Purchase it. Support it.

But if some studios offer no avenue for that kind of support, and can (and will) remove content from their platform forever... frankly, I think that changes the rules.

Netflix will likely never release the work I created for them on physical media, though I'll always hold out hope.

Some of you may say "wait, aren't The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor available on blu-ray and DVD?" Yes, they are, because they were co-produced with Paramount, and I'm grateful that Paramount was able to release and protect those titles. (I'm also grateful that those releases include extended cuts, deleted scenes, and commentary tracks. There are a number of fantastic benefits to physical media releases.)

But a lot of the other work I did there are Netflix originals, without any other studio involvement. Those titles - like Midnight Mass, The Midnight Club, and the upcoming Fall of the House of Usher - along with my Netflix exclusive and/or original movies Before I Wake and Gerald's Game - have no such protections. The physical media releases of those titles are entirely at Netflix's discretion, and don't appear to be priority for the studio at this time.

At the moment, Netflix seems content to leave Before I Wake, Gerald's Game, Midnight Mass, and The Midnight Club on the service, where they still draw audiences. I don't think there is a plan to remove any of them anytime soon. But plans change, the industry changes.

The point is things change, and each of those titles - should they be removed from the service for any reason - are not available anywhere else. If that day comes - if Netflix's servers are destroyed, if a meteor hits the building, if they are bought out by a competitor and their library is liquidated - I don't know what the circumstances might be, I just know that if that day comes, some of the work that means the most to me in the world would be entirely erased.

Or, what if we aren't so catastrophic in our thinking? What if it the change isn't so total? What if Netflix simply bumps into an issue with the license they paid for music (like the Neil Diamond songs that play such a crucial role in Midnight Mass), and decide to leave the show up but replace the songs?

This has happened before as well - fans of Northern Exposure can get the show on DVD and blu-ray, but the music they heard when the series aired has been replaced due to the licensing issues. And the replacements - chosen for their low cost, not for creative reasons - are not improvements. What if the shows are just changed, and not by creatives, but by business affairs executives?

All to say that physical media is critically important. Having redundancy in the marketplace is critically important. The more platforms a piece of work is available on, the more likely it is to survive and grow its audience.

As for Netflix, I hope sincerely that their thinking on this issue evolves, and that they value the content they spend so much money creating enough to protect it for posterity. That's up to them, it's their studio, it's their rules. But I like to think they may see that light eventually, and realize that exclusivity in a certain window is very cool... but exclusivity in perpetuity could potentially limit the audience and endanger the work itself.

[uhhhh-em-draws-stuff]

So Spider-Man AU won!

Red Hearts is the daughter of the head scientist Bridget Hearts at wonderlabs, a lab specializing in genetic mutation. Her mother wants her to follow in her footsteps in the scientific world, but Red has no interest in science. She wants to pursue art but isn’t allowed to, so she sneaks out at night to use spray paints across the city. Bridget isnt an abusive mother, rather just strict and emotionally distant. Red is enrolled at a science specialized high school even though she has no interest in it. There she met her best friend. Chloe Charming. Chloe is the daughter of the NYPD captain charming and Ella charming who was friends with Bridget in high school. Red has been secretly harboring feelings for Chloe for months now and refuses to tell her, convinced they aren’t returned. As of this point Chloe feels nothing but good friendship for Red.

One night while staying late with her mom at her lab, an escaped spider bites Red on her upper left arm. Red smacks it away and doesn’t think anything of it until she gets home and immediately passes out on her bed face first. She wakes up in the morning and notices she can see without her glasses. Then she walks toward her mirror and notices something is different about her appearance. Her arms are much more muscular than before and she has definition in her abdomen. “oh that’s new” she says. She spends much of her morning trying to control her sudden strength and stickiness, weirdly enough. Red makes it to school in one piece, barely, causing Chloe to worry.

Over the next few weeks she creates a suit and starts dealing with small crimes in her area, to captain charming’s dismay. She creates a persona known as “the red spider”

Meanwhile with Bridget, she is trying to genetically engineer ways to enhance brain performance, but she tested it on herself too early and turns her mind into a Jekyll and Hyde like state with “Bridget” and “The Queen of Hearts” the queen of hearts quickly becomes the red spider’s #1 enemy.

One night the red spider saves Chloe from being mugged in an alley. Chloe starts saying how she can’t shake the feeling that she knows her. The spider refuses and says she must be confused. Chloe slowly rolls up the bottom of her mask and the spider let’s her. She stops just above her nose. She leans in and kisses her in the pouring rain. A few moments later she pulls away and stammers a goodbye and runs into the night leaving a confused Red behind.

The kiss stayed on Chloe’s mind for days, why did she do that? Who did she even kiss? Whoever it was her father despises. She also feels strangely guilty. Feeling like she betrayed Red, but she doesn’t like Red like that? Right?

Afte one particularly bad fight with the queen of hearts, Red manages to swing to Chloe’s bedroom, seeking bandaging, knowing she has to reveal her identity to Chloe. She slips in through the window, Chloe staring mouth agape from her bed. Red slowly pulls off her mask and looks up at Chloe. The two stared at each other for what felt like forever, until the moment was broken by red wincing and clutching her torn up stomach. Chloe rushes over and helps red pull down her suit to her waist and sets her down against her bed. She heads to the bathroom and comes back with a cloth, water, and bandages. She starts to clean the blood and grime off. Once a good amount was cleaned Red noticed Chloe looking at her newly there abs.

“Is THE Chloe charming checking me out?”

Chloe turns the color of Red’s hair and goes “WHAT? NO! ….those are just…new, is all”

Once red is all bandaged up, they lay in Chloe’s bed, side by side. Chloe sighs and says “so we have some things to talk about” Red turns to her and goes “okay I’m sorry i didn’t tell you but I didn’t want you to get hurt and about the kiss, I’ve liked you for like ever and I would’ve let you kiss me even if you didn’t know it was me, but you do now, so I don’t really know what that means for us but-“ the blue haired girl cuts her off with a kiss, placing her hand on the side of Red’s face.

“If you couldn’t tell, I like you, too”

“Oh, really? Couldn’t tell after you kissed me twice.”

A few weeks later the red spider and the queen of hearts have another particularly heated battle. In the last move, the queen throws her cards and the spider creates a reinforced web to bounce them back at her, hitting her square in the stomach. As she lay on the ground, her mask slipped off. The spider slowly approaches the figure and realizes the figure looks familiar. As she reaches her, the cold shiver of realization goes down her spine. Her mother is the queen of hearts. She just HURT her mother, possibly fatally. She rips her mask off and kneels next to her.

“Mom, hey, you’re gonna be okay”

“Red? Wha..what are you doing here?”

“Mom I’m the Red spider. I just hurt you, I’m so sorry please hold on I’ll get help-“

“Red, there isn’t time. I’m going, we have to face it”

“No no no no no no no mom you’re gonna make it, just let me get help”

Bridget grips onto her daughters hand with the little strength she has left.

“Red. Listen to me. I’m dying. Right here. There are some things I want you to do.”

Red nods signaling for her mother to continue.

“I’m leaving wonderlabs to Maddox, I know it was never your dream. You still have a share in the company but all of the stuff I do is left to him. I’m sorry I tried to force science on you, I just wanted you to be successful.”

Bridget takes a shakey breath.

“Keep in touch with chloe, she’s a good girl with a promising future. Maybe one day she’ll work at wonderlabs. I’d love to have her brain there.”

Red feels the tears welling up in her eyes start to fall.

“I love you, Red. I know I didn’t say it enough but I do. So please get out of here so you aren’t wanted for my murder. Go, I love you.”

And with that Bridget was gone. The queen of hearts, the head of wonderlabs, her mother. Gone.

Red flees the scene. She cleans up and prepares to face the press that night. Her funeral was the next week. She was asked to say a few words. She got to the podium and started sobbing immediately before she could say anything , she stepped down and let Maddox talk instead.

The city doesn’t see the red spider for a while after that.

After 6 months, the spider comes back, but something in her air was off, it was more reserved, less chatty, less there, but the city was glad to have her back either way.

Behind closed doors the spider cries in the arms of her girlfriend almost every night, plagued with nightmares and guilt she can never share.

[str4ngr]

fluff 5 and suggestive 1 with megumi pls

give me some luck !

m. fusiguro. | my drug, my addiction.

cw: fluff, foul launguage, established relationship, canon-divergent, gn, civilian! reader. wc: 572. notes: i love him, also, suggestive will be posted seperately, probably in a couple days!

Every morning was the same; routine. Wake up together, get ready together, eat together. But today was different.

Work called, pleading you come early to make up for an empty seat on a project meeting you weren't particularly interested in taking. Neither was your boyfriend, who was glaring you down as you scrambled around your apartment. You were late, so was he, not that it was stopping him. His arm wrapped around your waist, tugging you in,

"Hey, I've got a mission today."

"Yeah, honey, when don't you?"

You laugh, raising a brow at him. He rolls his eyes, tugging you close as he leans in. Kissing his cheek, you try to pull away, thinking that was all he wanted, a little morning fix. But he doesn't let you, sharp eyes pouring into yours. His fingers tapped against your blouse, expectant. Megumi's arm didn't relax, holding you closer. You smirk smugly,

"You gotta' talk, Megumi."

He huffs,

"Come on, doll, it's a special grade today,"

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, swooning as he coyly batted his lashes at you. Megumi couldn't help but adore the playful smile on your lips, burning the light of his world into his memory for him to carry with him. Your eyes stared up at him innocently, brows raised in expressive curiosity and humor. He loved it, loved how you showed all the emotions he struggled to piece together so fluidly. Smiling, enjoying the meaningless banter, he leaned closer to you, breath fanning down your collar.

"I need some luck, yeah?"

"Mm... and I thought you were so skilled?"

You teased back, smiling as the two of you chuckled, his hand patting your back pleadingly.

"And I thought you would wanna give me a little—oomgh."

"Megumi!"

You laughed at his... interesting choice of sound effect, still held tightly against him. It didn't matter that the clock clicked because, between the two of you, no amount of time could make each other's company anything but the best. You knew you would get some scolding for clocking in late, as if you weren't going out of your way to come in early, but it didn't matter. Not when he was standing in front of you with that stupid half-smile. You wanted to grab his face, pepper him with kisses, but thats too easy and no fun. Grinning up at him, you chuckle,

"what the hell is that?"

"No comment. Please, baby, just give me one more kiss?"

Megumi pleaded, groaning when you just laughed again, pulling away from his gentle arms to grab your purse. Bumping your hip into his, you couldn't help the laugh that bubbled from your lips, making Megumi's phony pout break into an adoring smile. You two still stood at the front door, ready to get to your designated jobs, the rush hour of the bustling city audible through the walls. But it all fell away, like the sound of your laughter was a music sweeter than the honey you always put in his breakfast. His hands run up and down your back, wanting more of you all over again. His eyes glazed over your face, demanding as he tried, leaning forward, to get your lips to meet his skin again,

"C'mon!"

"Better watch out, or Nobara and Itadori are gonna find out how desperate you are~"

He laughs, leaning close, your noses brushing together,

"As if they don't know I love you."

notes: gege could never stop me from loving you. ty for the request!!

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

I saw your headcanons of a poly relationship with Hanma and Kisaki... and a sudden thought I couldn't stop thinking about slowed on my mind: How would it be a poly relationship with Hanma AND Ran?

I think these are an interesting duo to talk about, like how would they be in the same room? Would they get along?

So I wanted to ask for some headcanons about a poly relationship with Ran and Hanma, if that's okay with you please🙏💗

This ones done a little differently since Ran in the canon doesn't like Hanma so it's more of them both being in a relationship with reader then all 3 of them being together. But it still creates a pretty interesting dynamic...

(There's also some nsfw ones at the end but they're clearly marked so feel free to skip those!)

The dynamic is basically Ran going "this is my girlfriend, reader and her boyfriend Hanma" 

Oh they loathe this situation and each other but play nice for your sake. They love you more then they dislike each other. 

Try to out do each other often, if Ran goes to hold your hand then Hanma will go to sling his arm over your shoulders

You always wake up with two pairs of arms wrapped around you.

Rindou is pretty interested in this and likes watching the drama between his brother and Hanma. Kisaki just sighs.

They share a lot of pictures and videos they take of you since they both benefit from this

They have rival pet names for you, Ran's "princess" vs Hanma's "sweetheart"

They'll go from both happily smiling at you to glaring at each other when your back is turned.

Hanma doesn't even particularly know why Ran hates him he just plays along with the rivalry (plus he doesn't like sharing you)

They both team up and beat up any guys that try to hit on you or are rude to you though.

There's a date agreement, where they both agree not to bother each other when they're taking you on a date, it works surprisingly well.

If you give affection to Ran then Hanma insists you give him some too. You frequently end up sitting in between them, cuddling with both of them. 

Hanma likes to play pranks on Ran and absolutely will wake him up on purpose. (Ran changes the locks on your shared apartment the day after until you talk him round). 

You put them both down as emergency contacts but quickly realise that was mistake after the time you fainted and Ran kicked the hospital door off his hinges to see you quicker while Hanma climbed in through the window???? (You put Rindou down after that, you trust him more in these moments).

You have to wear one piece of jewellery they got you each or they'll get jealous.

Nsfw

"He may be longer but we all know I'm thic-" *you threw a shoe at his head before he could finish*

They frequently have contests to see who can make you moan louder or come undone faster.

Both can get very possessive while having sex, frequently tilting your head so you make eye contact with them instead of "him" and liking it when you moan their name instead of "his"

Better have good stamina because they're not satisfied until they both get to finish inside. 

They frequently set up a camera so they can watch again later

[nobodysdaydreams]

More Hatchetverse Theory: The Reasons Why Hatchetfield Hates Clivesdale (It's Worse Than You Think).

Well my Hatchetverse theories have been taking off so I'm just gonna keep the good times rolling (the hashtag is "#hatchetverse theory"). Read below for an unhinged rant.

So there have already been a fair amount of theories about Clivesdale and why the residents of Hatchetfield hate it so much. I'll start by reviewing one of the most popular theories: that Clivesdale and Hatchetfield mirror the black and white, and that Clivesdale is associated with the "white" while Hatchetfield is associated with the "black".

The evidence is pretty compelling:

Clivesdale is the "sister city" of Hatchetfield. Webby is the sister of the LIB

The townspeople hate Clivesdale with a violent passion, and people have already pointed out that this mirrors Wiggly's hatred of Webby. Meanwhile, the people of Clivesdale don't seem to hate Hatchetfield. They raise the bridge in TGWDLM out of concern, but they don't seem to aggressively dislike Hatchetfield and mourn them when they are gone. This again seems to mimic that attitude Webby and her brothers have with each other.

The names of Clivesdale and Hatchetfield have similar meanings. "Clive" means to "Split or to chop" and "Dale" means "Valley". Hatchets are used to chop things. The towns are literally "split apart". I talk about the names of some of the town's other landmarks here.

The fight between the Clivesdale and Hatchetfield High football teams is emphasized a lot, to the point where the news covers it more than the murders of the teens in NPMD, and warns that a "losing streaks coming", but says that hopefully they can "get them next year". This could signify how the war between the black and white seems to occur in several realities.

Clivesdale and Hatchetfield have other similarities too, like how the Hatchetfield Honey Festival (a cover for an evil cult sacrifice, according to Nightmare Time) parallels the Clivesdale Cherry Festival (which no one is interested in, according to a newspaper prop from the musicals, but that's the Hatchetfield news, so it might be biased reporting).

But even if we assume this theory is true, I don't think the LIB would make the residents hate the town merely because they hate their sister and her town. This is because there are two other potentially terrifying reasons why the LIB would want the citizens of Hatchetfield to hate Clivesdale.

The first, which I haven't seen anyone talk about yet, is that Hatchetfield is an island. To leave it, citizens either need to leave by plane, boat, or bridge. And where does the only bridge off the island lead? Clivesdale. The LIB make the residents hate Clivesdale so that they won't leave Hatchetfield because it likely means they'd have to go through Clivesdale, which many residents say they'd rather die than do. One piece of evidence that supports this theory is the way the LIB try to entice the residents of Hatchetfield to stay in "Drowsytown":

There are many times when the LIB refer to the Black or being under their control as being in "Drowsytown" (and I can make a whole other post about the LIB and sleep/nightmares and Drowsytown symbolism another time). But, this is significant, because when citizens "wake up" from the LIB's control, their followers and the LIB themselves specifically ask them to stay "Down in Drowsytown" (also possibly a metaphor for "Hatchetfield's Downtown", they do sound similar). In Nightmare Time, the sniggles also sing about how they can't leave Drowsytown.

The other reason the LIB want the citizens of Hatchetfield to hate Clivesdale so much is a bit darker, and stems from a combination of Clivesdale being the only way off the island and the deep seated hatred the people of Hatchetfield have for Clivesdale, particularly in NPMD.

I have a separate post on this, but Max Jagerman hates Clivesdale so much that when he dies, he declares that he's going to destroy the whole town Clivesdale, and in "Go Go Nighthawks!", the students declare that they are going to "kill Clivesdale". At first this seems like the usual Clivesdale hate, but then one might consider the facts that Clivesdale is one of Hatchetfield's only links to the outside world, and the LIB seem to have a vested interest in conquering said world.

Thus, when the citizens of Hatchetfield say they hate Clivesdale and are going to destroy everyone there, they are not just referring to the citizens of Clivesdale, or the White/Webby of the "Black and White", but the mainland, the rest of the world, and everyone in it.

Think about it. If the LIB convinced the citizens of Hatchetfield that joining them or doing what they wanted would destroy Clivesdale, most of them would join them in their world domination quest with no questions asked. The LIB also sing in NMPD "why help you with the Jagerman when we could help the world?" which when combined with Max's earlier threat about destroying all of Clivesdale, and the fact the LIB make sure they still have control of Grace at the end of NPMD, seems pretty concerning, because it appears to imply that the LIB would only help the kids with Max if they had the guarantee that they'd still have a way to conquer the world, but again, this is just a theory.

Then there are two other relatively unexplored aspects of the dynamic between Clivesdale and Hatchetfield that we just don't have very much detail on, but I'll share what I got.

The first is the names of their mascots: The Nighthawks and The Chemists (I already made a post about the Sycamore High Timber Wolves).

The "Nighthawks" seems pretty self explanatory, it fits with the whole "Nightmare Time" "Eternal Night" "Black" "Drowsytown" theme quite nicely. Also in NPMD, when singing about Max, the students sing "like a nighthawk he preys" and the nighthawks are called predators.

The "Clivesdale Chemists" is more obviously an odd mascot, but harder to figure out since we don't have much lore on Clivesdale. "Chemists" could mean "Alchemists" could mean "Witches", but it's still unclear what the significance could be there or what the history is between Hatchetfield and Clivesdale and how it mimics the history between Webby and Wiggly. (The Witch in the Web song and Wiggly's repeated statements about hating Webby and wanting "wrath"/"revenge" are the only clues we have on that for now. Also the Cross and Holloway rivalry).

The second is the existence of the Nantucket Bridge.

It provides compelling evidence for the first part of my theory about the LIB using the Clivesdale hate to keep everyone in Hatchetfield/Drowsytown/the Black. If the people of Hatchetfield hate Clivesdale, they won't use the bridge.

I googled the word "Nantucket" and found a few meanings: "island", "far off land" and "sandy, sterile soil tempting no one". Make of that what you will.

It is confirmed in TGWDLM that Clivesdale controls the Nantucket Bridge (or at least half of it), because they raise it when Hatchetfield becomes infected with Pokey's apocalypse. Interestingly, this is the only time they seem to do so and they do so in response to what seems like just reports of a meteor crash into a theater and the occurrence of random flash mobs (not the scariest sounding thing that's ever happened in Hatchetfield so idk).

"Bridge" could also be referring to a gateway to the Black and White from earth, or bridge between the Black and White in general. Keeping along with the word theme, the body of water under the bridge is called the "Nantucket Channel", and the use of the words "Channel" and "Black and White" could refer to television, but that association is a bit more out there than the other ones, which have more evidence.

There are a lot more spin-off rants I could do with this, but I'll leave it here for a while. I hope you enjoy Starkid fandom!

[lafiametta]

Im so glad im not the only one still stuck on anora x igor😭😭 love them sm

As for a 1 word prompt i think hug could result in something sweet or even unexpected, but i could also leave a word-vomit here and maybe you’ll feel inspired by one of them:)) so let me just

ride, dinner, dance, call, sweatpants, beach, couch, deli

Haha, thank you for all the prompts! I’m going with the first one, but I may come back to some of the others because they’re so good! :)

She wakes a little before two and shuffles into the kitchen. It’s quiet, so Vera must be out somewhere. There’s a quarter of the Honey Nut Cheerios left, which she eats while absently scrolling through TikTok. None of it’s particularly interesting, so she flips over to her texts. There’s one from Vera (“went 2 nico’s. get more tp at the store thx”) and a string of messages from Lulu, detailing some kind of crazy shit that went down last night involving two of their new dancers, a stolen g-string, hair-pulling, and a broken bottle of Cristal.

The last one, sent an hour ago from a contact she put into her phone as Hunchback Weirdo, is in all-caps, as if he didn’t fully trust himself with punctuation.

COME BY AT 3 OK?

She holds down the text and sends a thumbs-up reaction. He’s been coming by her house every Sunday at three for the last month and a half and he doesn’t really need to text each time, but she knows he likes to check with her to make sure it’s alright.

They don’t ever stay at the house that long—normally she just grabs her jacket and meets him on the porch, then they head in the direction of the beach. It’s only a few blocks to the boardwalk, a wide expanse that somehow feels just big enough for the two of them to walk side-by-side. It was awkward at first—neither of them really knew what to say after everything that had happened in his grandmother’s car—but after a while the quiet grew easier, and they learned how to talk in ways that seemed safe. He talks about his grandmother a lot, and about growing up in Russia. Ani’s childhood stories are far less heart-warming, so she avoids them, instead detailing all the things Vera—or Vera’s shitty boyfriend—had done to piss her off that week, along with anything fun or outrageous that had happened at work. She’s got a job at a new club now, secured through a glowing reference from Jimmy, and like any place full of drunk men and insecure women, there’s always drama.

They don’t ever talk about what happened in the car.

She thinks about it sometimes, the memory pulling deep and hard in her chest, a strange mixture of shame and sadness and gratitude that she doesn’t know where to put. Being around him makes it a little easier, which is why when he comes by she always goes with him, despite how fucking strange the whole thing really is.

A minute after three there’s a knock at the door—Ani’s already in her jacket, fingers flipping back the deadbolt.

It’s warmer out today, a tiny promise of spring, but the wind is brisk and tugging against her hair and cheeks, and she sinks deeper into the bulk of her jacket. Igor’s only in a black hoodie; she doesn’t ask him if he’s cold.

Along the boardwalk, there are older men in rumpled suits and women in headscarves sitting together on benches. A kid runs along the beach, trying to get a kite to lift into the air. For a moment, they’re walking close enough that their fingers brush together and Ani quickly stuffs her hands into her pockets, doing her best to ignore the unsteady feeling in her stomach.

By the time they get down to Coney Island the feeling has subsided enough that she lets him buy her a pretzel, which she eats piece by piece against the metal railing overlooking the beach while he smokes.

She’s already told him about Nico, how he had clogged their toilet two days ago and then fucked everything up more by continuing to flush, the whole thing overflowing and ruining their bathmat.

“Fuckin’ idiot,” she mutters. “I can’t believe my sister lets him fuck her.”

She laughs a little, although it’s mostly a sigh, and then lets the silence settle around them as they stare out at the mostly empty beach. He hasn’t finished the cigarette yet, so she reaches out for a quick drag.

“So how’s Garnik doing?” she asks as she hands it back, not realizing until she asked that part of her was actually curious. She wasn’t surprised he hadn’t mentioned Vanya or the Zakharovs at all, but it seemed a little weird he never said anything about the two Armenians, who he probably still saw all the time.

“Garnik?”

“Yeah, Garnik. His face still look like a fuckin’ raccoon?”

Igor shrugs, then drops the cigarette butt to the ground and stomps it out with the toe of his sneaker. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know how your boss’s face looks?”

There’s a tiny shake of his head, and he turns to lean back against the railing. “I don’t work for him. For any of them.”

The words cut through her more strongly than the wind, leaving only questions in their wake.

“Since when?” she asks.

He turns his face to finally look at her, those blue eyes trained on hers in a way that always felt like she was something worth looking at. She had hated it at first—the intensity behind it—but now she’s wondering what it was really trying to convey.

“Since we come back from Vegas.”

For a moment she’s uncharacteristically speechless. He hadn’t worked for them since Vegas? He had quit his job—for what? For her? No, that made no sense. What was she to him? She had been a problem he had been sent to fix, a rock in someone else’s shoe, and then she had fucked him and cried all over him and run away. And now? She still has no fucking clue what they are. But she had thought she had been left alone to handle all of it, and he’s telling her that she’s not alone, that he walked away to meet her on the other side. And he’s here, with her, knocking on her front door every Sunday, trading stupid stories with her as they follow the path along the beach, looking after her in a way she hadn’t really understood until this moment.

He’s standing here, next to her, the March wind whipping against the fabric of his hoodie.

Ani steps closer until she’s right in front of him, her arms reaching out to tightly curl around his back. She remembers the feel of him, the warmth, and leans in, her cheek pressing up against the top of his shoulder. There’s a moment of hesitation—she hopes it’s only out of surprise—and then his arms wrap solidly around her, drawing her into the hug.

“Hi,” he says, the sound soft, like laughter.

“Hey,” she says, like she’s saying it for the first time.

[send me a one-word Anora x Igor prompt]

[foggycrusadepenguin]

Sometime you just have clowns so much on your brain you see two cats and it's suddenly the only thing you can think about.

There also this which I have I just had to do, they only had one ship art and it's just to hilarious not to.

But it also sprang ideas which is always fun, sooo here I go.

It all starts when Buggy is around twenty two he is in the north he just suffered his first mutiny but he is dandy not like his ex crew at least who he saw being eaten after they left in him his little lifeboat so duck them anyway.

He has a bit of money, his juggling and little clown act gave him a little more money and he deserves a treat, a alcoholic treat so to the bar he goes and he is having a great time.

He drinks a bit to much but everything is great...

So great he doesn't notice the rather notorious leader of the Donquixote pirates that is having his own good time with some booze and pretty ladies.

Of course this is until his great luck comes into play and he may have done something rather flashy that may have inquired the joker ire.

To which things may have taken a interesting turn when Doflamingo tried to cut him into ribbons which earns him a funny result thanks to Buggy devil's fruit.

I thinks it would have sparked a new interest for Doffy towards the clown (Or more like what he can do with the clown, Doffy probably would be over joyed being able to split Buggy to pieces with his strings and Buggy would probably like the bonuses of having a little affair with Doffy particularly the he won't kill me card)

So that's the start of a there relationship (if you can call it that, I actually have a few more ideas for this but no patience to write it out so maybe later)

Relationship that would actually end with him meting Corazon in the flashiest way posible.

So it all starts after a rather rough night with Doffy one which Buggy enjoyed a lot and a Corazon searching for his brother.

So he goes to Doffy room just to find a dismembered body laying on the bed, bits and pieces everywhere and he is in his second in command this can't bother me mindset, he can't let Doffy see weakness and it would be the worst his brother has made him do to try and test him.

Which is why he starts cleaning the room ignoring the lack of blood (maybe the boy was cut post Morten) he would do his job, he would stop his brother from doing this again.

It's when he grabs the head to throw it out that he finds black eyes opening blearily before the head yawns and he is pretty sure his heart stops.

So he does the most sensible thing throws the head away, trips and smashes against the floor.

Meanwhile Buggy is just waking up from his nap and woah does Doffy look different this morning, just to be thrown like he was a ball, which rude.

Doflamingo comes back to his room just to see it all unfold and he finds it hilarious.

Finds it even more hilarious when he notices they get under each other skin.

Which ends up of course with him pushing them together whenever Buggy visits the north.

And that's the end of this times little rant, I had a au idea that kind of follows this but more detailed but I'm feeling lazy and I just found the idea of how Buggy meets Corazon and Doffy being the first Corabug, not shipper he doesn't ship them he just likes there disdain of each other,influencer hilarious and wanted to share it.

Apart that Doffybug? Is just really under appreciated, I like weirds ships sue me ╮⁠(⁠＾⁠▽⁠＾⁠)⁠╭

Anyway have a nice night, day or whatever!

(⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)/

[freedjustinemywife]

Thunder legion hcs but some of them get weirdly specific bc i think abt them too much

(Part 1??)

- Originally Bickslow and Freed lived together as roommates, Evergreen lived in fairy hills and Laxus had his own penthouse. When Fairy Tail disbanded they began living together while they were in Blue Pegasus as it was just easier, and they never stopped (im running off the hc that theyre all living together for most of these)

- Freed is the cook of the raijin tribe, they used to have a cooking rotor but it slowly became just Freed cooking every night

- Evergreen CAN cook basic meals but hates doing it so just, wont. Back when there was a schedule she asked Freed to do it instead and he usually agreed because he enjoys cooking

- Bickslow also can cook, but likes to experiment quite heavily and will not be convinced to make a normal meal. Got banned from cooking after he served shrimp pasta with ice cream

- Laxus can cook you a damn good grilled cheese, but thats it. Only cooks when people are feeling like grilled cheese

- Bickslow is a painter, not-quite Reedus level but still good, they like to paint from the imagination more than from reference which ends in very interesting (and only mildly disturbing) pieces

- Evergreen likes to garden, its something she started when she was young because her mother told her fairies like to care for nature. Their apartment is filled with various plants that she keeps and cares for, and while she could use magic to help them grow she prefers doing it by hand

- Freed enjoys playing a lot of musical instruments, hes best at violin and has been playing since quite young along with piano, but can also play gutair and bass as of more recently. Also has a collection of books in the apartment, originally all stored in his room before he ran out of space

- They have a schedule of getting up at about 7am at the latest most days, its not heavily enforced day to day but they stick to it on missions, if not getting up even earlier depending on the job

- Off-mission though? Nobody is actually getting up at 7am. Bickslow doesnt have a set time to wake but tends to actually be an early riser, he enjoys the mornings so he usually gets up a bit before 7, occasionally to do some painting or stretch ect

- Freed wakes up at 6am sharp and gets straight out of bed, no yawning or stretching or anything just stands up and walks away

- he is also the one attempting to enforce the 7am rule (sorry king) but bickslow usually joins in if only to annoy people

- Evergreen prefers to sleep in a bit more where possible, usually till half 8 or 9 if she can get away with it, then spends way to long in the bathroom doing her hair, makeup, and picking an outfit

- Laxus normally gets up at 10 and is impossible to wake before that, youd have to kick him awake and hes still grumpy afterwards

- Freed is French (I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL) and comes from a military background, specifically a noble house that specialised in military trading and training in France (i have an entire backstory mapped out for this freak if anyones interested drop me an ask)

- Bickslow grew up in the circus, hes always been naturally flexible but its where he honed that ability as well as learning some acrobatics, however it burned down when he was a teenager and the puppets (“babies”) he keeps around are the result of friends who died in that fire

- Evergreen is Scottish and grew up mostly raised by a single mother, her father was around for a few years but was generally a horrible man, a drinker and abuser who eventually left her mother alone. She also has a brother a few years younger than her who she helped to raise and is still close to

- Freed is the tactician of the thunder legion, comes along with being a leader but hes usually the one coming up with the plans

- Speaking of, hes someone who prefers to have a plan before a fight where possible, particularly as his magic is one where its difficult to construct quickly, especially if he wants a high powered jutsu shiki. So while he can think quickly on his feet hed rather have a plan mapped out

- Evergreen is the one who’s best at thinking quickly, if they end up in a situation where a snap decision needs to be made shes confident enough to make it and order her teammates around without second guessing herself

- They also all understand the importance of teamwork and its the main reason they’re so effective (as seen in the battle of fairy tail) their close bond allows them to work extremely well together, even if they tend to argue sometimes

- When Bickslow dislikes someone they have a habit of showing it on his face, usually by pulling a disgusted expression

- Ever does this too in a more subtle way, usually exchanging a glance with one of the thunder legion if shes not liking what somebodies saying. She WILL be gossiping about it later

- If Freeds not interested in a conversation he just silently walks away when youre not looking, people have gone 10 minutes before noticing hes left before

- Laxus just leaves mid-sentence though, doesn’t even think about it just walks away

- None of them can drive anywhere for various reasons, Laxus obviously gets extremely motion sick so is out for the count right off the bat

- Bickslow was banned due to being deemed “a danger to himself and others” after he got too many speeding tickets and crashed the car into a postbox

- Evergreen literally applies makeup while driving, shes blasting the radio while doing lipstick without looking at the road and its terrifying

- Freed is who people THINK would be the most responsible driver, and while he’ll get you to your destination safely, he also has a bad habit of ignoring the speed limit and accidentally running red lights. Unlike Bickslow however hes somehow managed to avoid getting any tickets

[alexanderwales]

Book Review: The Ministry of Time

I picked up The Ministry of Time when I was in Berkley. It was prominently placed, it had a bold and colorful cover, and I'm a sucker for time travel of any kind. When I brought it up to the counter, the cashier told me that it was one of her recent favorites and really brilliantly realized for being from a debut author. The inside cover promises "an ingeniously imagined, hilarious romp through time, space, and the human heart".

As a veteran of time travel stories, I think they fall into two basic camps. The first camp is the thinky camp, interested in the time travel elements, the layers of cause and effect, the twists and turns that history or characters might have undergone for want of a nail, branching universes and stable loops, the raw matter of causality itself. The second camp is mostly interested in history, whether that's alternate history or historical characters. These are stories where the premise is that modern warship gets transported back to Ancient Greece or whatever and then we just do not interact with time travel in any meaningful way until the end of the book, if that. Sometimes (maybe even often) time travel stories straddle these two camps, but when I read a time travel story I usually immediately clock it as being one or the other.

For the first three quarters of its word count, The Ministry of Time is so firmly in the latter camp that I thought it would just stay there. The basic premise is that the titular ministry has pulled people through time and set them up with "bridges" who are essentially civil servants that live with the temporal "expats" and get them acclimated to the near-future modern world. Our protagonist "bridge" is a British-Cambodian woman, while her "expat" is Graham Gore, a member of the doomed Erebus and Terror mission to explore the Northwest passage. He's very loosely based on a real man about whom so little is known that his character is invented from whole cloth, but there's quite a bit of historical grounding.

Kate & Leopold was a 2001 film about a modern woman who works at an advertising company (Meg Ryan) and gets embroiled in a love affair with an aristocrat from the late 1800s (Hugh Jackman). It's a romcom, and I thought about it a lot when reading this book, which turns out to mostly be a slow-burn romance. It hits a lot of the same beats. Gore is a man out of time and we milk this for entertainment value as we watch him acclimate to the modern world in various ways, seeing the things that he loves and the things that puzzle him. He's also a gentleman from a simpler time, and his nobility stands in contrast to the boorishness of the modern male. A lot of this is stock: I don't read many romance novels, but "man from the past" is a whole genre, whether he's come through to the present or the female protagonist has been sent to the past. I am pretty sure that the first book of Outlander is this, but I only watched half of the first season of the TV show.

(The other piece of media this reminded me of was the Norwegian show Beforeigners, which hits the "past is a different country" and "refugees from the past" theme a lot harder, at least for my money.)

The Ministry of Time does all this far better than Kate & Leopold did. Part of this is simply the writing quality, but there's also at least a little engagement with ideas of colonialism, the horrors of the past, how we assimilate into the dominant culture, and what that means. Gore is well-realized, and our protagonist has a lot of complexity to her, which brings some brushes with identity and living in the wake of someone else's trauma (particularly because the protagonist, like the author, is mostly white-passing half-Cambodian). It's just that this isn't the sort of time travel novel that I like, because it feels like the core premise, traveling through time, gets set to one side while we focus on the relationship between the past and the present, and how fuckable guys from the past are. I appreciate that there's some depth to the female fantasy on display here, but I don't find this particular female fantasy all that interesting on its own. When I realized, about twenty pages in, that this was primarily going to be a well-written romance, I could feel my enthusiasm for it waning.

Aside from the romance between these two, which is the largest chunk of the book, we have a few people from other eras. They're not given nearly enough depth for my taste, but they serve their purpose well enough, and help add another dose of "actually, the past was kind of shit", which I think any work that is flirting with romanticizing the past needs. The two main ones are Arthur, a gay man from World War I who doesn't get enough screen time, and Margaret, a lesbian who comes from the 1600s. I think there's probably a lot to say about identity and queerness, especially because modern notions of these things are not historical, but as with many things, the novel touches lightly on them and then flies off to the next thing like a timid dragonfly.

The best thing about the book, and the reason I kept looking forward to it, is that the prose is really really good. On almost any random page I open up, I can find a passage that delights me. There's a real art to the metaphor and how it's employed, and I really enjoyed most of it, even the ones that maybe made me scratch my head a little bit. Things like "sparrows gusted along the curb" or "I looked into Margaret's face, the sultry peach color of her mouth and her acne glowing with unprinted newness" or "sheepish, excitable expressions, like children caught drawing on the walls". On the prose level, I was a big fan.

The setting for the novel is near-modern London, a city that's suffering the effect of climate change, with blisteringly hot days where they can't do much more than lay on the floor and wait for the heat to pass, and occasional flooding. The ministry itself is a bureaucratic monolith in a way that feels like it's a piss take, but it doesn't go terribly far toward saying anything here. There's a genre that I'm trying to coin a name for called bureaupunk or bureauporn where we focus on huge organizations with matrix management and endless meetings and paper trails, and how that all feels to live with, but this doesn't quite go to that level, even if it gets close. (The ur-example of this is The Laundry Files, for a future post.)

On the plot level ... I hesitate to use the word "sucks", but I had a lot of problems with it even before we get to the last fourth of the novel where it shifts gears from being a slow romance.

To start with, why are they forcing this man to co-habit with this woman in a way they acknowledge to be scandalous from his perspective? Why didn't they select a bridge that would ease him into the 21st century? Why co-habitation rather than, say, a bridge having regular check-ins or something? Actually, why is all this time and effort being expended on getting these people to acclimate to the 21st century in the first place? The novel doesn't really seem to want to engage with this either, and the answers, to the extent we get them, are always pretty vague. Uncharitably, the bulk of the novel is just an excuse plot to get this woman with this man and have them fall in love.

It's not until the last fourth of the novel that it really starts to pick up steam, at least from a plot perspective. There's a mole in the ministry, there are mystery people from the future, there are plots and plans firing off, people are revealed to not be quite who they said they were ... and I enjoyed this part a lot less, in spite of it being ostensibly more toward the type of thinky time travel fiction I'm a fan of. There are two major reveals, and I didn't think that either of them landed, in part because of how weakly they tied into the thing that the novel had mostly been about, which is this central romantic conflict. It's also in this last fourth of the novel that it becomes a type one time travel story instead of a type two one, but the time travel mechanics are never explained, it never matters, and the whole story is worse for it. There's something that a lot of time travel stories sometimes do where they say "well it's time travel, it's confusing, no one really knows" and I fucking despise it because it's lazy shitty writing. Even if you don't have perfectly consistent rules that make sense on a physics level, you need to have rules that make sense on a narrative level, and usually the kinds of authors who write passages like that don't have either.

Prose aside, I think I didn't like this book. I like some of the stock time travel stuff, like a man from the past discovering Spotify, and a woman from the present reveling in a man from the past. I thought the sentence level stuff was great. I thought that some of the recurrent themes of identity and running from the past were interesting, especially the stuff about power dynamics and fitting in with the governmental overstructure ... but I didn't feel like the novel hit all that hard, aside from a single passage midway through the book. The author has some thoughts on growing up with this Cambodian heritage, but I don't think I necessarily got all that much understanding on top of what I could have gotten from trying to write a character like that myself. I got the sense that the author was putting a lot of herself into the novel, sometimes to a degree that felt embarrassing to read, in a way that the novel is explicit about. Sometimes that was embarrassing in a good way, raw and real, and other times it was just confusing, elements of her life put onto the page without enough introspection or background to understand it.

The romance is good and compelling though, I'll give it that. If you like romances, and don't really care about time travel, you might like it.

[sybaritick]

cal sybaritick's

bloodweave fic recs 🧙🏼🧛🏻

I'm pretty sure that over the past few weeks I've read nearly every single Astarion/Gale fanfic on Ao3, and I have great taste, so I am uniquely qualified to recommend them to you. Here is a non-exhaustive list of my favorites!

Overhear More in Changing by ZiGraves

E / 9.6k words / body swap, blood drinking, handjobs / complete

Astarion has the misfortune to wake up inhabiting a body not his own. It’s alive, breathing, warm. Hairy. Oh gods, no. It’s Gale’s.

not only is the power-issues-tinged porn here extremely hot to me, but this is also the best and most interesting depiction of body swapping that i have ever read, with so much great detail on how it would actually feel to experience

Left to your devices by Experimental

E / 4.2k words / teasing, dubious consent, developing relationship / complete

While camped at the Grymforge, Astarion does a murder, and thinks a gift will magically make it all better. Trouble is, he may be right.

a snapshot-style fic of a clever interaction between the two of them, and I enjoyed how it handles the comparison between Astarion's vampirism and Gale's condition that so many have noted

A Cave Edge, A Black Bowl by an orphaned account

E / 2.2k / extremely dubious consent, sensory deprivation, humiliation/degradation / complete

Gale has this bad habit of shutting himself off after a particularly long day and Astarion hates it. All high and mighty he will saunter off towards his tent and engulf it in Darkness, draping it in Zone of Silence. It infuriates Astarion to no end, and so he sets out to let the wizard reap his due reward. Getting into his tent would be effortless. (The first thing he hears are soft, almost whining pants, followed by a high pitched moan.)

this just pushes all of my buttons SO well. gale as a consummate submissive using magic to be his own dom, so to speak... and his insulting astarion for interrupting this little display, "you're wretched," hating it so and yet still clearly getting off to it... delicious!

That Wounded Animal by wxntr

M / 6.4k / character study, manipulation, angst with a happy ending / technically incomplete, but can easily be read as finished

His foolishness is what made him deserve it. That’s the reason Astarion latched onto when the familiar sickness rose in his throat as he spun his pretty web. When guilt or shame creeped in at Gale’s wide, adoring eyes and smile, Astarion reminded himself that if he wasn't the one to take advantage, someone worse would. He was doing Gale a favor, even. The weak would be taken advantage of, and Astarion refused to be the weak. A progression of scenes following Astarion's manipulation of Gale, and the complicated feelings that accompany it.

a rec like this means a lot coming from me because normally I struggle with sad and soft pieces in fics, but this is extremely well done. I'll just quote what I said in my comment on the fic: "the way you write this so that Gale's very weakness is what makes Astarion weak to him! the fact that Gale has the capacity to believe in Astarion's potential goodness despite everything, hell, to believe in anyone's potential goodness, that Gale continues with earnestness regardless-- that is what breaks Astarion's resolve. The fact that anyone can possibly live like that (like Gale does, wearing his heart on his sleeve)-- it's agonizing to someone like Astarion who has seen it proven time and time again that a relationship can only ever be transactional, that there must be the user and the used. That of course Astarion has seen sincerity and naivety before and has brushed it aside easily, but it's the time spent with Gale, the slowly getting to know him, so much longer than he would have for the victims he was forced to bring back to Cazador-- that's what gradually gets to him. And so gradual too, the way you write it."

Unraveling [series] by chogiwonderful_you

E / 17.3k words / undernegotiated kink, cnc, mental health issues & neurodivergence, discussions of past sexual assault, very unhealthy relationships / technically incomplete, but can easily be read as finished

The book reads you as much as you read it. Gale really should have remembered that.

this recommendation comes with the caveat that, as it was written during early access, the author's interpretations of the characters don't truly line up with how I see them now. However, there was no doubt in my mind I was still going to recommend it just for what it is-- the fandom aspect be damned. Everything, down to Gale's guilt about his behavior to him being like "in some sense the mental aspect of this is more erotic to me than the sex to the point where i almost feel separate from my physical body" is so Very Real in a way I feel fanfiction often isn't. Also, the depiction of what I would describe as Gale's hypomania, and later panic attack, is extremely well done.

En Prise by positivejam

E / 20.5k words / manipulation, D/s, petplay (vibes), humiliation/degradation / incomplete

It’s not often Astarion sees his own hunger reflected in another’s eyes. So yearning for a look in the mirror, he can't help but stare. Gale is downright ravenous. He can smell it on him: like some combination of lust, adrenaline, and desperation. Exactly for what, he isn’t sure. But desperate men make for good companions and better bedfellows, so he sinks down next to the wizard with a smile. “Like recognizes like, little mage. You are starving, and I am feeling uncharacteristically charitable. Perhaps we can help each other out.”

if you know this pairing, you know this fic, but I could not possibly leave it out. It is very well written! It is super hot! It's dripping with nasty D/s vibes! Read it!

first date by revoleotion

M / 1.7k words / sincerity, discussions of past sexual assault, angst with a happy ending / complete

It's not Gale's first time. Part of him wishes it were. It's not Astarion's first time. Perhaps that can be a good thing. Astarion and Gale share a drink together. A drink, and a little more.

like I mentioned above, I am usually not the audience for this genre/style of fic, but this author handles the way they discuss their trauma very well-- that they are still a little guarded and awkward, not perfect communicators, not perfect partners.

[reviewdiaries]

Nancy x Ace and the conundrum of pain in 4x12

Alright kids, buckle up for one last time. Don’t worry I will absolutely be back next week for more, but this is the last one where we still have some story left to discover, and I am all up in my feels about this.

There are definitely storytelling choices that I feel are ahem, slightly misguided, but as ever I’m focusing on the Nace of it all, and despite another painful episode of heartbreak, angst, and shouting, I genuinely think we’re making progress. And gosh there’s a lot to unpack from this last episode - it gets long under the cut.

We finally know what the sin was, and we’ve seen them get their memories back. But I still think there’s something else at play here. Because we had heart eyes adoration. We had heartbreak and pain. We had breakups and desperate longing and despair. But then we suddenly shifted to indifference in the wake of that phone call and Nancy’s trip to the Yacht Club. Which either is terrible writing, or it’s some other puzzle piece at play here that we have yet to see. I’m still clinging to the latter. I think there are a few more revelations to come, and I don’t think Nancy and Ace are operating with their full range of memories and emotions yet - hence the anger, indifference, and general out of characterness we’ve been getting.

These last few episodes have served a really interesting purpose though, untethering Nancy and Ace and allowing them to stand on their own. It’s highlighted how much Nancy needs the support of those around her - forcing her to acknowledge her feelings and how important this found family of hers is. But it’s also given Ace the space to breathe, to try and work himself out, to learn to trust himself, to stand up for what he needs and wants, and how he functions as an individual instead of just constantly in service to others. That’s been hard to watch, but it’s been important.

The Nancy and Ace we saw at the start of this season were amazing, yes, look at the yearning! The pining! The heart eyes! But as a couple they were going to run into problems really quickly. They weren’t managing to communicate well - Nancy has slowly been learning not to close herself off since way back in season one where suddenly she wasn’t the only one invested in solving the Tiffany Hudson murder. And Ace has always been supportive of her, quietly there ready for when she finds the words. But they have always struggled to actually communicate effectively, particularly when things are going badly. Nancy takes everything as a rejection and abandonment, Ace actively puts his needs to the bottom of the pile in favour of protecting those he loves. This isn’t healthy, and it isn’t the foundation of a good relationship. And we want them to have a good relationship, we want them to last, because even now for me, they are still endgame. 

They have needed to have that time and space to work some of their own issues out so that they can come back to each other on a more equal footing. To be able to say absolutely I want this, I deserve this, and we can do this together. 

And it’s always been up to Ace to come back. He is the one who walked away, who committed the ultimate abandonment as far as Nancy is concerned. He’s the one that said stop, no, we’re not doing this. And partly as respect for his wishes, and partly because he’d basically just put a fist through her heart by saying that and then leaving, Nancy has stopped. She’s been devastated, broken, looking for something easy that doesn’t hurt as much, but she has respected his wishes. Which is why it’s up to Ace (hey Ace you’ve done some really excellent growth and learning to stand on your own and have your own boundaries and needs, time to put that into action) to come back. To admit he still loves her, he still wants her, he still wants to make this work.

Do I think the writers are waiting until the absolute eleventh hour and really making this pivot a hard one to pull off? Absolutely yes, dear god this feels a little unnecessary. But I do still think we’re getting this pivot. Nancy and Ace have needed to have that space and individual plot lines to come back together as a stronger whole.

Which is why this revelation about what actually happened the night of the boat trip hits that much harder. This is the very first time we’ve seen Ace beg Nancy to come, to be there. She’s the first person he calls. He just needs her there because something awful has happened and she is his safe space. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

This is huge, life altering vulnerability from Ace in a way we have never ever seen. In all the tragedy, she is his first thought. Not to fix anything, not to make it go away, just to be there with him, hold his hand and smooth his hair away from his cheek and hold him steady in a world that feels like it’s falling apart around him. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And any other night, Nancy probably would have made a different decision. But she’s emotionally wrecked from her mum’s memorial. She is adrift in grief and fear because those first weeks after her mum died are a haze of darkness and pain, and on this anniversary night she feels the closest to that pit of grief than she’s felt in a long time, and it would be so easy to tip back into it. Shut her eyes and let it consume her.

And Ace is there and he’s panicked and desperate and she’s never seen him like this - never been allowed to see him like this. He is vulnerable and trusting in a way she has never witnessed. 

GIF Credit @thatonekimgirl

And she just wants him to be ok. She can’t bear the thought of him going through a fraction of the pain she experienced with the loss of her mum. The guilt, the despair, the anger. She wants to spare him as much pain as she can because she loves him. It’s never about thinking he isn’t strong enough to hold it, it’s not about selfishly trying to keep him as he is. She is, in that moment, so full of love and desperation that she would do anything. And she’s not thinking straight, she just wants him to be ok. Isn’t that all we want for the ones we love?

So she leaves him. Breaks every speed limit getting to the yacht club, just wants it done, wants to take the pain away, smooth the lines from Ace’s brow and wipe the tears from his face. Heal the pain bracketing his mouth as he bites his lip trying to keep the grief at bay. He knows he did the right thing, but it still hurts, still feels like it carved out a piece of him to leave someone to a death like that to save his father. And he’d do it again, even though it would kill him a little more, there’s no way he would change what he’d do, no way he wouldn’t save his father every time.

She isn’t thinking, not really. Panicked by the vulnerability, the fear, the pain, the tidal wave echo of her own grief. She can’t take that away, hasn’t even thought to, can’t imagine herself with the grief hollowed out of her bones. But she can do this for Ace, help him, save him. Doesn’t think through the consequences. Doesn’t think through what else might be taken. What this house of cards might look like when it begins to crumble down. This isn’t Nancy thinking clearly, this is Nancy acting purely on instinct - fear, grief, pain. Her own and Ace’s. And if she can’t be with him at the very least she can take away this burden, ease it for him, shoulder some piece of the load. 

But he’s right to be angry once he understands. He’s right to call her out on it. She had no right to do what she did, particularly without telling him what she was going to do. There’s no way he would have let her. And maybe that’s partly why she didn’t say anything to him before she left. Because she didn’t want him to talk her out of it, didn’t want him to have to understand what loss feels like. What regret eating you away from the inside can do to a person. 

This is where my comment from last week comes into play though. Ace has been so bad at standing up for himself, for calling Nancy out before this season. We’ve had odd moments - the Aglaeca and how angry and scared he was to be caught up in a death curse. But he’s always kept his feelings quiet and bottled until the odd moment where they explode out (see 4x02 and the passive aggressive snark and withdrawing we get from Ace). But last week we saw him standing up to Nancy, arguing, fighting, getting what he needed. And it’s left a muscle memory path for him to follow so we get not one but two fights this episode. And sure, I’d much rather there were heart eyes and curse breaking, but honestly? The fighting gives me hope. It tells me there’s still something there, there are still messy tangled feelings mixed up in all of this. And it starts to offer a more solid foundation, an equal footing for them to build off. 

To say the things they’ve kept bottled up inside, to actually call out what’s upsetting them. That it hurts that each of them seem to have moved on even though neither of them actually have. That it hurts to be around each other, to be so tied up in each other because they can’t bear to be apart. That they’re afraid, so so afraid of what might happen next - of losing each other, of trying and failing, of the possibility not living up to the reality.

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

And the sucker punch of realisation that Ace has that Nancy isn’t moving on or as put together as she’s seemed. That they’re both still such a mess over each other and putting on a front that is far too effective because they’re both too blinded by the pain.

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

But the real pain, because this episode is just a heaping plate of pain after pain, comes with that final confrontation at Icarus Hall where Ace finally calls Nancy out for what she did. Because it feeds into everything he already fears, that he isn’t enough as he is. That Nancy would do something to change him, to remove his pain, his grief, the painful experiences that ultimately are part of him.

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

But with the darkest low points come a turning point, because Nancy needed to be called out. She needed to be told her actions weren’t acceptable, no matter that they came from a place of love, of trying to protect him. She has to have this moment of understanding, of Ace putting it in terms that she could understand so that she can see the damage that has been done. 

GIF Credit @livelovecaliforniadreams

They can’t start anything without getting this poison purged, without fighting their way to the truth, no matter how badly it hurts, to start from somewhere clean and whole.

Whilst I know most would rather pretend that kiss at the end didn’t happen, I would like to make one comment on how it evokes Ace even when he’s not there.

Tristan comes to Nancy filled with emptiness, not knowing who he is, something she can entirely relate to - she’s just been rightfully chewed out by Ace who has broken her heart into even smaller pieces than previously thought possible, and walked away again. And then Tristan tells her exactly what she has only ever wanted to hear from Ace - that he feels connected to her, and he kisses her. And she tries, gosh she tries to get into it. Her hands go into his hair and then jerk back out when it’s not the expected softness of Ace’s hair. She tries again and still can’t. You can see on her face that this isn’t the fireworks and mind melting best kiss of her life. This isn’t even close. But then he says “But I know I can’t walk away from you” and it immediately taps into that memory. The heartbreak is on her face and it’s not Tristan she’s thinking of then, it’s another kiss in this space, and another person’s hair, and someone she desperately wants to stay, to choose her, who has walked away from her and broken her heart so many times over these last few weeks. There’s a breath of relief when her phone rings and offers her a way out of this. Because she thought this would be easy, that this would be better, good for her. And all it’s done is serve to highlight that there’s no one but Ace for her.

So we leave them with one episode to go, broken but healing, finding parts of themselves they hadn’t realised existed, and slowly coming back to their love. Always their love, it’s tangled into everything, and we’re finally going to see that play out next week.

On a personal note, this season has been a curious one for me. I’ve overall really enjoyed it, and I think a lot of that is down to doing these analysis posts. It’s forced me to go back over the episodes in miniscule detail, and to really examine what’s happening and why. Believe me there were weeks where I finished my first watch and wanted to post this gif and be done with it.

GIF by lecoeurasesgifs

But doing these posts has pushed me to unpick what the writers have been trying to do in a way I wouldn’t normally have engaged with. So thank you for feeding the meta beast. 

I can really understand why people have found this season frustrating, there have been a lot of shall we say interesting choices, for lack of a better word. Part of that is down to the completely broken system we have where shows kinda have to act like they’re about to get cancelled at any moment, which inhibits really thoughtful, interwoven long form storytelling, or they do what Nancy Drew have done and desperately hoped they will get to keep telling these stories and then have to pivot if they’re given any sort of warning that it’s over. And in this case, means we’ve had to have a hard pivot which has shafted a lot of storylines and left a lot of fans (myself included at points) wondering what the hell is going on.

That said, I’ve still really enjoyed the journey. Not just of this season, but the whole show. It’s given me a found family to root for, supernatural shenanigans, thoughtful and well plotted storytelling, and a romance for the ages. Yes I still think we’re going to get that, despite all the roadblocks in these last few episodes. It’s been my spoopy little comfort show through some really difficult years, and I am going to miss it hugely. Thank you to anyone who has read and engaged with these posts, it’s been such a joy both writing them and then talking with people afterwards about them. We’ve got one more wild ride to see how Horseshoe Bay and the Drew Crew will be left, and I cannot wait.

[doubleddenden]

Okay I had a whole thing typed that was my review for the new Pokémon dropped in Indigo Disk, but tumblr ate it, so take 2

Starting with my favorite, Archaludon. It's a dragon, a kaiju, also a stapler remover, also a bridge with power cables inside. This is a really cool design overall and fixes what I dislike about Duraludon, and it's fun to play with. 9/10

Hydrapple fixes what I dislike about Dipplin, but does make Flapple and Appletun a bit obsolete. Regardless, it's a fun idea and concept- I love that 7 Syrpents (which I guess aren't individually pokemon on their own? Slowbro Shelder situation I guess) make up 1 pokemon. It's silly but fun. 8/10

Also these two are neat because the concepts tie into New York/ Unova if we look at it through lense of Archaludon's Sky Arrow Bridge being based on Brooklyn Bridge and Rainbow Bridge, and Hydrapple clearly being a Big Apple reference. Very creative

Onto the paradoxes

Raging Bolt is interesting. I prefer Raikou, and I'll be the first to admit that I do not give a shit about how many cultural or historical references are in a design, if it looks like shit its a shit design. But this design is pretty okay, and because of that I can appreciate ALL of the inspirations that went into its design.

First off, with the Beast Paradoxes drawing inspiration from dinosaurs, we have Raging Bolt as the Thunder Lizard- aka Brontosaurus. That alone is meat, but it's still pretty mammalian compared to Walking Wake- that's because there's references to something called a Questing Beast. In Medieval times, before the age of cameras or fact checking, a description of an animal far far away- such a giraffe- can get twisted abd distorted via several games of telephone until we get to a creature that combines the lower body of a leopard and deer and the neck and head of a snake- aka the Questing Beast. Raging Bolt plays a bit with all of these ideas in a pretty unique and fun way. 8/10

Iron Crown- admittedly the Justice Paradoxes suffer a bit from the same "just make it a robot" mentality that plagues other Violet Paradoxes, but the Swords of Justice got the better end of it, I'd say. Iron Crowns in particular actually fixes what I hate about Cobalion by adding segments to the legs and thus making them feel less like bipedal knees on a quadrupedal animal.

It's signature move, Tachyon Cutter, also looks so cool in action by making the horns HUGE and GLOWING. That's awesome imo. 8/10

And now the new paradoxes we knew were coming

Gouging Fire, Entei's Paradox. I'll say that I like it, although this is the least changed of the Beasts and is basically just Entei in a fancy hat. Hey, that's fine though.

The dinosaur Entei is based on is some kind of ceratopsian blend. I personally thought they'd go in that direction with a triceratops design, so I was close. The head dress piece actually gives me Ho-Oh vibes, in particularly the gold and greens, which could be purposeful and root the Beasts Paradoxes back to the Beast's master, Ho-Oh. Fun design, 8/10

Iron Boulder. This one imo is more of the "robot" angle but done in a very good way. I like Terrakion best out of the Swords to begin with, but only at certain angles in 2d (they murdered him in SV. Murdered. He looks like a cross eyed frog now.) Iron Boulder takes the bulky build of Terrakion and makes it work better in 3d by incorporating spherical and cone builds along its body and head.

It definitely looks the LEAST like a psychic type out if any psychic type I've ever seen, but that's fine. Like Iron Crown with its twin horns and Iron Leaves with its 3 blades, Iron Boulder has a cool looking sword move- his turns his two larger horns into ONE MASSIVE GLOWING BLADE. THAT'S REALLY COOL! 8/10

And now. The Boy

Terapagos is a cute design that becomes more elegant, refined, and Stellar as it becomes stronger. While I'm a bit disappointed at how they handled it in story after a year of build up, I do think the designs after it's base form are incredibly detailed and creative.

The type patterns on its shell actually shift and change smoothly to other types, and the Terastilized form is even more incredible by representing every type plus a hat version of its original form. Beautiful, yet imposing, and a tad silly. The dome is an interesting take that I believe might represent the world or perhaps even a larger turtle- the design could reference one of many World Turtle mythologies and possibly have it represent a planet in space, or maybe a Turtle floating in the ocean, perhaps it's even a reference to the Tale of Urashima Taro. If Terapagos was available in Blueberry Academy- which I think it started out that way in planning- it could even represent the Terarium itself. Perhaps a deeper story was originally planned but dropped- like the castles and gigantic tree of Crown Tundra.

Regardless, base form is a 6/10. Its cute but kinda pointless. The other forms though are 8/10 though for incredible execution, wonderful and pleasing use of color, and overall just being great.

This batch of new Pokémon is way better than Teal Mask's, let's be real. For the paradoxes, I'll say the Future ones got better after Iron Leaves, while Walking Wake was the peak for the Beasts. Ogerpon wins for cutest legendary with the best build up, but Terapagos definitely wins for best design. This batch is an everall 8/10

[crowrave]

Picking Up the Pieces (Don’t Think They’ll Ever Be Repaired)

The gang finally rescues Crown from the Ravenna dungeons. Angst ensues.

Just a pretty short whump fic! Was mostly just exploring the sheer amount of trauma that the dungeons probably gave the player :3

⚠️ Warning(s): implications of torture, blood, cannibalism, mentions of death ⚠️

(I swear the story isn’t as bad as the warnings make it out to be most of these are only mentioned briefly RAGHHHH)

(Also don’t forget to let me know if any tags need to be added or removed for warnings!! And maybe tell me what you think of this fic, too! /nf)

Story under the cut!!!

Blood. That’s all they could see staining the walls.

The color of crimson drowning every corner of their view.

They weren’t sure how much of it was from the lowly souls that got trapped before them. Maybe all of it was their own.

The pathetic food they gave them wasn’t enough. The taste of their former roommate’s flesh satiated them far more than the rations ever did.

That loud man outside liked to yell. He liked to hurt, too.

It was never able to escape his grasp. At the very least, he didn’t seem all too interested in mocking it. It’ll take any relief it can get.

……..

Everything hurt. Or, well, they think it does. They can’t quite tell what their senses are telling them anymore.

It remembered.. something. Just a glimpse of a memory. It can’t help but feel like it’d be better off not knowing anything anymore.

But alas, they did. Of that friend person they likely once knew so dearly. They remember his touch. The way he always held them close after a particularly rough experiment.

They remember him screaming, once. They can’t quite recall why.

The human, monster unfortunate one squirmed in its sorry-excuse-of-a-bed. The slab was cold. Eroded.

The feeling reminded them of pain, so much pain, when Tucker used to cradle them in his arms-

…it doesn’t quite understand. Why it was chosen to suffer such a fate.

Why? Why not someone else? Why is this hell theirs to live?

Sometimes, it would wake up. Its fading consciousness would force it to surface and suffer through another day.

It feels like its mind is breaking. Maybe it shattered the day that Glass User— Julius, wasn’t it?— crashed through it and shredded it into a million pieces.

It doesn’t think it wants to know why anymore. Maybe it’s best it stays unknown.

They think they can hear a faint shout from the man in the hallway by their cell. They can feel their head pulse with a dull ache as they force themself to get up.

Time for another day.

——————————————————————————

….It woke up. The first thing it could feel was the soft flicker of flames gently caressing its face.

..it doesn’t know if it should or even could feel worried over how hollow its senses were. It could just barely sense the heat burning its skin.

It felt… warm. Nice. In such far contrast to the usual freezing cold on the dungeons they were used to.

It wasn’t quite sure when it began to reach out towards the fire. The longing for warmth and comfort felt like drowning it in its own mind.

………

Suddenly, something grabbed them. It forced them away from the comfort of the heat and smoke.

The hand was warm— so warm— they pulled the limb closer to them. They didn’t want to let it go so easily.

There was skin. Flesh. They haven’t felt such a thing in so long. They were hungry— so hungry— one little bite wouldn’t hurt. It reminded them of Morden. Of Tucker. Maybe they’d be able to see the both of them again in the afterlife. They’d drag them down to Tartarus with them if they had to.

The hand gripped their face. It forced them to look up at the limb’s owner.

…..Morden?

Then, the voices began to ring through their ears.

They weren’t of the man they were accustomed to listening to. There were multiple. Shouting, too.

Filled with concern, worry, horror, fear, guilt, anger, regrets, a mind so full one could never think any less-

There was a call. A shriek, even. It was coming from Morden.

Morden. Morden. Morden, Morden, Mordenmordenmordenmorden-

They missed him. Oh, how they missed him so much. He’s here. This must be a dream. An imagination. A cruel fantasy conjurer up from within their mind.

But their doubts can’t help but give way to hope as he cups their face in his hands. Real hands. Soft, shaking, and oh so gentle.

They lean into his touch. His warmth. His caring, worried gaze feels as if it melts the freezing cold of their cell.

“We found you,” They think he says.

“We truly, finally found you.”

[aotearoa20]

Part Three Part One/Part Two/Part Three

Finlay slammed the door behind her with entirely too much force and not a care in the world. That was the last of the radioes in Admin destroyed but the fucking shape. She’s have to check the ones in flare’s control room but she did not have high hopes. They were alone. Part of her was almost relieved. She shuddered as she pictured the damn thing getting fleshy tendrils into the support ship and hitching a ride back to the mainland. God knows what it would do there.

Outside Muir was still wailing, she hoped something would put the poor thing out of it’s misery soon. If nothing else, rushing around the rig like rats in a maze would be far easier if they could actually cross the deck. Every time she crossed from underneath it seemed more and more of the walkways had fallen into the ocean and the… the thing only seemed greater each time she went passed the drill. More foreign and more familiar. It made her thoughts heavy just to think on it

Another sound caught her attention. A sort of laboured wheezing almost like an angry gear box. She turned to see an odd light flickering from under the door of the store room she’d just left.

“Ah what now?” she muttered, hand running absently along the table for something to grab hold of. There was nothing but a pile of scattered papers and a stapler. She picked it up regardless.

The noise petered off. She stood at the edge of the room ready to run if Rennik’s ugly mug or some particularly glowy flesh tendrils shot through the door. What she did not expect was a lanky englishman with a bow tie to come bounding out, talking a mile a minute.

“Hello, have you seen Amy and Rory? I lost them, there was a phase shift, it really should’nt happen.” He spoke without stopping, walking wide eyed around the room.

Maybe she was dead. Maybe the damned thing had skewered her, like it had poor Archie, when the doors opened and this was the batshit dream it was using to send her quietly off into the night.

“What are you on about?”

“Amy? She’s tall and Scottish?”

“Oh aye?”

She’d have preferred the taunting images of her son that flood her vision every once in a while. Better last thought than this babbling fool.

“Like that!” He cried grinning, “Only Ginger. And Rory he’s… not ginger? and also her husband.”

“Who are you?”

He tossed her a wallet. She’d laugh if it were funny. Cadal Safety Inspector was written in bold letters on the piece of paper inside. Her heart suddenly picked up, waking her up from her daze.

“Where’d you come from? Did they send a recovery ship?”

“Yes.” He said. After a beat.

She hadn’t heard it dock. God, they had no idea what they were walking into. They were like a damned plague ship at the minute. How had he even gotten this far in without noticing?

“Fuck.”

She took a step away from him, eyes narrowed. And how’d he get in the store cupboard? That room did not have any other entrances than the one he’d just come out of. And he was not in there half a moment ago. She strode forward and peered inside again.

She must be going mad.

It’s a police box.

“Interesting.” Finlay did not jump. But when her head snapped around to see him come up behind her, she may or may not have brandished the stapler in a less than intimidating way, “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Carol Finlay”

He stood entirely too close to her, just staring. There was something off about his eyes, they seemed too deep. It made her skin crawl. Or perhaps that was just the bubbling flesh reaching further into the store room. It was a bad idea to turn her back to it.

“What?” She ground out and the man tilted his head to the side before speaking.

“This rig falling into the ocean, judging by the size we must be at least 50 miles from shore and,” He stuck his tongue out for a second, “There’s a gas leak. Maybe two.”

“Oh? that’s just wonderful,” she muttered.

“Most people would be relieved to hear their rescue is imminent.”

“Wha - you want me to be more grateful?? You - ”

“ - why?”

Finlay licked her dry lips, “Well, for starters every time you say ‘rescue’ you look into that broom cupboard like a fucking madman.”

“ - Something back home you don’t want to be brought back to?” The look she gave him would have even Rennik withering away, but the man leaned closer and kept her gaze, “Something here you don’t want to bring back home.”

“Who. Are. You.”

The man smiled, “I’m the Doctor”

“Doctor of what?”

“I dabble.”

Oh she had had just about enough of this. Shoving him away she wandered out of range of anything that might shoot through the door.

“And that’s mighty encouraging. Don’t I love going to the hospital and the lad comes in saying hello I’m doctor of whateverthefuck, let’s see what I can do you for.”

“ - who is that?” The Doctor interrupted again, and she very nearly slapped him.

Another wail washed over the rig though and she froze. Who? How would he know it’s a who? Sure she could hear something of a person in the creatures wails but that’s only cause she knew the man. It sounded like a beached whale.

“Its Muir,” she said slowly.

“Muir?”

“Aye he… he was one of the deck hands. He’s a joker but he does good work,” she shook her head. She hadn’t know him well but she knew him long. Had gotten used to seeing his face around the canteen, used to here him running his mouth every time she was outside, “We hit something with the drill and it infected him and some of the others. Changed them, killed most of em’ - or at least I hope it did- but Muir - what’s left of him…”

She let the sound speak for her. The Doctor nodded slowly. Suddenly he clapped his hands together and stood still. Something changed she couldn’t put her fingers on what. He’d always smiled when he spoke before now he just said softly, “There’s no support ship.”

“I figured.”

“But I will get you out of here, and anyone else we can find.”

“What with your wee box?”

“Yes,” he nodded again, so seriously, “is there a tannoy system? Call whoever you can, I’ll find the Ponds and we can get out of here.”

She glanced back at the room and didn’t move, “That thing wouldn’t fit everyone.”

“Oh trust me it’s bigger on - “

“And anyway it’s no going anywhere.”

“Why not?”

“Cause it’s covered with the stuff.”

“What?” He rushed into the store cupboard. She watched from where she stood as he began flapping about, waving a glowing metal gadget around like the madman he probably was, “Nonono, this can’t - you can’t just.”

The shape had curled itself around the base of the door so it could not be opened, thrumming as it always seemed to do. The wet, iridescent sheen seemed to flicker strangely though. Not the cool white light it usually emitted in the dark, it glowed gold.

At one point he grabbed the thing, pulling his hand back just as quickly. Finlay was already rushing forward. He did not notice the tendrils erupting out of the flesh as he stared at the dappled glow about his finger tips. She only just managed to pull him out of the doorway in time. There was the sound of snapping wood and the Doctor twisted out of her grip.

“Oh no you don’t!”

The little gizmo in his hand flashed and whirred and the police box began to sigh like before. Finlay watched in wonder as it started flickering. Like the whole thing was just peeking in and out of existence. The walls around them seemed to shriek and she backed away on the ground as the shape tried to curl tighter. The whole room seemed to shrink and contort and the wheezing became juttering and laboured.

There was another noise like tearing metal and the shape erupted into dozens of golden threads. The Doctor leapt to his feet barely managing to close the door in time and even then a few glittering stands shot through the door and embed in the desks around them. The silence that followed was deafening.

The Doctor, swallowed hard before turning to her, “Well… that shouldn’t have happened …”

[igniferrus]

I can't believe the BBC's The Adventures of Merlin peaked at S01E04 "The Poisoned Chalice."

OBVIOUSLY I love the absolute absurdity of Merlin and Arthur trying to die for each other after knowing each other for like a week. Just for the vibes and for the Merthur implications, however; this episode is the one that does the characters and their interpersonal relationships the most justice, in my opinion.

Now with a read more, because this got out of hand, fast.

We start with the Gauis and Merlin father-son relationship, with them bantering in the hallways about work. Gwen and Merlin get to giggle together at the feast, and then we see their bond as Gwen worries over Merlin (and her blaming herself when he 'dies').

Merlin is also a wonderful sunshine boy in this episode. The weight of his destiny hasn't worn him down yet, he's still riding the high of finally understanding the reason he was born as he was. He perks up when Arthur tells him he's going to the feast, he treats the guests as guests (no immediate suspicion, trying to impress Kara/Nimueh), and we get to see some of his best cheeky moments - like calling Gaius out for making up a proverb, telling Kara he runs the castle, pestering Arthur about his smelly clothes and the food fights, and, of course, when he wakes up mock scolding Gaius for hugging Gwen, and then claiming not to be alive but his own ghost. He's still a silly boy, especially when he wakes up and says he doesn't remember what happened after drinking the wine.

But what I think this episode does particularly well is the Pendragons, especially Arthur.

We get Morgana ready to cut a bitch immediately when things go wrong at the feast, but also see her compassionate side when she allows Gwen to go tend to Merlin. Her relationships with Uther and Arthur are phenomenally well done. Uther scolds her (off-screen) for wanting to bash people about the head with ladles at the feast. But she also gets to stand up to him and show her displeasure at his choices.

When Uther rants at her after Arthur leaves, she agrees with his every point, sarcastically. His ordering Arthur to stay "worked like a charm" and "[her] lips are sealed" when he tells her to knock it off. She calls him out for oppressing Arthur and not letting him make his own choice, telling Uther "[He] can't chain [Arthur] up every time he disagrees with [Uther]" and "Arthur's old enough to make decisions for himself"

But Uther wins this argument (or is at least conceded to), because he asks Morgana if he should allow Arthur to make his own choices, if that means Arthur will die. And Morgana has no answer for him. Which is especially interesting as Morgana was the one to push for Arthur to go.

There is a lot to be said for Morgana and Arthur's relationship in the show as a whole, and this episode too. I could probably write a whole post about them just using The Poisoned Chalice. But I'll keep it to two main points here.

The first, and most important one, which I think is overlooked in a lot of people's take on their relationship, comes from a short line in a transition scene. There is a total of six pieces of dialogues, split between Morgana and Gwen, as Gwen fills Morgana in on the Merlin situation, which includes this bit:

MORGANA: Don't worry, I'm alright. How's Merlin? GUINEVERE: If Arthur comes back with the antidote in time, he'll be fine. MORGANA: Then he'll be fine.

Just like that. If Merlin's health relies on Arthur succeeding it is a forgone conclusion for Morgana. Arthur will not fail. She has enough faith in him that she is no longer worried about Merlin's fate. I don't think enough people consider this angle of their relationship. She knows who Arthur is. He is a good, capable man of honour. He will do what needs to be done. She never says this to his face, and actually implies the opposite when she thinks he won't go and rescue Gwen in a later episode, but that's sibling banter and desperation, baby! She's his older sister, she can't be seen hyping him up. Even when she gives him the chance to talk about his success at the end of the episode, she frames it as "bragging." C'mon. He just traveled to a place where few people come back from, defied his king, and still managed to save a man whose life was already deemed "worth less" that the cost of saving him. It's not bragging, it's a true achievement.

There has also been plenty said for Morgana being a guiding figure at first. When Arthur is stuck with indecision about going, when Uther has gotten into his head about this quest being an abandonment of his people, it is Morgana who encourages him to go, saying his people want and deserve a king who will do what is right. Which is all Arthur ever wants to do, despite the way Uther raised him.

Which brings us to the Uther and Arthur relationship. Uther prohibits Arthur from doing what is right. Calls into question his judgement ("jeopardise the future of this kingdom"? Realty, Uther?). Arrests his son. Locks him in the dungeon. Does his best to throw away all that Arthur sacrificed for to teach him a lesson about not doing things the "right" (Uther's) way. Continued to lie about Arthur's birth and magic, when given the perfect opportunity to come clean.

And yet.

Uther loves his boy. He wants to kill Bayard with his own hands, if it was true that he was going to harm Uther's son. Rants and raves to Morgana and Arthur leaving (and disobeying), putting himself in danger (could never say he's worried to his son's face, though). And in that moment, uses the exact justification he told Gaius wasn't good enough. When Merlin accuses Bayard of poison, Gaius claims "he's just a boy" and should be given leniency, which Uther refutes, saying Gaius should have taught him better. But when it's Uther's own (older) son, "he's just a boy" Morgana, not old enough to make his own decisions.

And at the end? When Uther does tell Arthur he's proud of him, despite it all? Arthur pulls this face, almost a kind of grimace. Like he doesn't know what to do with this information. How often does Uther say this? Not enough, obviously. Uther is a tyrant, a hypocrite, a terrible parent, and a father who cares so very deeply about his child(ren). The love is there, but it is not enough to redeem him. This, along with Beauty and the Beast (especially part two) are some of my top Uther episodes. Because they show how much he loves his boy, and it doesn't change anything. It cannot help either of them now.

Finally. Arthur Pendragon. My main man, in all forms, across all media.

He is at his best in this episode. In every conceivable way.

Aside from the excellent insight into his relationships with his family, in a way with more depth and nuance than most episodes, we get to see the Best Arthur, both physically and mentally.

As a man, he excels. He shows up for the diplomatic aspects of the position as Prince. His teases and needles Merlin, but it is less mean spirited than some episodes portray him. The silly hat is hilarious, but I also think putting Merlin in Pendragon red, with the family's crest emblazoned on his chest was a smart move. This is a new, incredibly untrained servant, with no idea of the decorum of the court. It wasn't Merlin's fault, but he really put himself in a bad light during the tournament by accusing Valiant and not being able to back up his claims, and he did recently confess to sorcery to the entire court...... Arthur all but putting his name on Merlin definitely would have afforded some protection if Merlin's trouble had been a little less dire. Calling Merlin an alcoholic may have been a bit harsh, but impugning Merlin's intelligence had already worked once in getting Uther to let him go, so I see why Arthur would stick with what works. Especially if defying Uther regularly gets him clapped in irons himself.

People routinely call Arthur honourable, and he really shows it in this episode. He tries to drink the poison himself to protect Merlin, after all his other attempts fail. He refuses to allow Merlin's sacrifice to go unrepaid. Even when he hears about how dangerous the quest will be, and that few who try it make it back alive, he says "Sounds like fun." There's no reality where Arthur doesn't want to go. Not even Uther pressing on Arthur's sore spots makes him want to abandon the quest, it just makes him wonder if he should. Also. On a time-sensitive quest that is more likely to kill him than not, he still stops to offer help to an apparently battered servant. It was the wrong choice, but the honourable one none the less.

He's so incredibly clever, too. I talked about my interpretation of his choice of Merlin's outfit already, but the scene with Gwen in the dungeon is so well-written. He's already in trouble. Uther has all but sentenced Merlin to die, twice. Once by forbidding Arthur from leaving the castle, and again when he crushes the flower to teach Arthur a lesson. The guards have to know this, along with the fact that the prince is out of favour enough to be in the dungeon for a week. And yet Arthur uses their perception of him, as a spoiled arrogant prince, to help Gwen smuggle the flower out. It is an exceptionally well-laid and executed plan. He has been studying to be a king (and kill) from birth. By necessity, Arthur is a skilled tactician. He wouldn't lead the army if he wasn't - Uther punishes failure harshly.

Arthur also gets to show off his physical skills in this episode. My man is STRONG and SKILLED. He carries Merlin from the hall to the physician's chambers. I don't know how long of a walk that it, but we've seen there are plenty of stairs up to Gaius' tower, and Arthur gets there without being out of breath. Incredible. Plus, in the cave, Arthur supports his entire body weight with one hand while hanging off a ledge AND waving a sword around to fight off a big spider. In chainmail. This man is Strong As Fuck. I don't think I could hang for very long, even using both hands, much less fight a monster.

We also get to see Arthur's skills with a sword. I've mentioned somewhere before that I understand Merlin was the protagonist and therefore got to be the hero most of the time, at the expense of Arthur. But damn. The cockatrice is the main reason why people don't return from this quest, a single drop of its venom is deadly. And Arthur takes care of it without a single thought. It lunges, he rolls under it, and then he THROWS HIS SWORD and spears it. How much did he have to practice to be able to throw a sword with accuracy, and enough power to be lethal? Absolute unit of a man. He fights off the spider mentioned above, and then climbs the cave wall to freedom. His arms must be so jacked. The only thing he can't carry is the weight of his father's disapproval.

This is also the only episode where we get to see Merlin and Arthur working perfectly together as they were meant to. In other episodes, Arthur is unconscious or unaware of Merlin's magic; or at the end, he is simply an audience to Merlin as the reveal at Camlann doesn't give them enough time to have a healthy Arthur and Merlin team up. Arthur only watches Merlin-as-Dragoon at the battle proper, or is too weak to do anything after.

But in this episode, Merlin, fever-ridden, dying, miles away in Camelot, is still able to provide Arthur magical aid in the cave. He lights the way, showing Arthur the spiders and the route to the exit. It is one of the few times Arthur is exposed to "good" magic. Could you imagine a world where the best swordsman in Albion and the most powerful warlock to walk the earth get to fight side-by-side? With Merlin providing magical support and Arthur the physical aspect? it would have been amazing, but this is the closest we come to it.

It also adds an interesting dimension to the idea of Merlin and Arthur being two sides of the same coin. Merlin's connection to Arthur despite the distance, knowing what Arthur is facing, should have been explored more. We only see it again when they are separated at Camlann, and Arthur wakes, seemingly knowing something isn't right with Merlin. Absolutely underused concept.

This has ended up criminally long, and didn't even cover everything I thought about during my rewatch of the episode. Thank you if you took the time to read all this.

[songsofbloodandwater]

Ask game! 5, 11, 19!

5. Do you have a favorite spell that you find particularly powerful?

Excluding healing arts (because I personally wouldn't consider them 'spells'), I think the most 'powerful', rather, shocking effect I've gotten was with one specific cleansing method I tried, not really expecting much of it, but with surprising results. In the weirdest way possible. I kid you not, I ended up waking up in the middle of the night to unknowingly summoned spirits manifest in physical form. That kind of weird. It's become my favorite way to remove unwanted spirits and things from the home ever since.

11. Do you have a favorite book or resource that has influenced your craft significantly?

Book, I don't think so. I do read witchcraft books but they're not deal breakers to me. What I read more often, and do end up adding up to become important references in my practice, are articles in anthropology, history, or similar publications. As a researcher, I'm more in sync with that kind of sources and they're easier for me to read and understand (and importantly, put weight on) than most 'witchy' books I read. Less mass-marketed, regurgitated, commonly misappropriated filler, less pseudohistory, more substantial data, in it's proper very specifically stated context and with all which that context entails taken into account in the writing and described, with further similar quality references at the end for me to continue digging. Those are things that I can actually work with. Picking one article to be my most influential source at the moment feels impossible to me, there isn't one. It's how all the little pieces from different sources (including many being personal experiences) add up to form the bigger picture that has meaning and influence to me.

There are good books out there, of course there are. But I don't really get 'influenced' by them because I was already brought up with a lot very clear answers to my questions, and those answers don't tend to agree a whole lot with what I read from other people. I read grimoires and 'classics' as what they are, an often embellished glimpse of what somebody else was thinking or doing at the time. I might compare ideas, practices, beliefs and conclusions, but I don't have a book (or books) that I can point to and say "this is where I got my beliefs/practice from!" or "this was my starting point". I would be pointing at my family's elders instead. There are books that I've found fascinating because they seem to have come to similar conclusions to my own but from a completely different angle, and from very different paths, but I don't think that's what the question was referring to? (is it really influential if you were already doing or thinking the same thing?) I consume a fair amount of books, articles, podcasts and videos from other practitioners, but frustratingly to me, most of the time what they talk about is either (a) while still interesting, exciting even, to hear and contemplate, old news to me, (b) factually wrong or misinformed and thus painful to hear, (c) simply something I already have formed ideas about and therefore something I simply have to disagree with the other person on. I deeply enjoy option (a), I also enjoy (c) because it puts my brain to work and challenges my beliefs in a healthy way, but I dread (b), and it breaks my heart when the hit comes from someone I respect. The influential break-throughs, twists and turns I take at this point are coming from personal experience, UPG becoming VPG, and various forms of communication with my Spirits, Deities and Ancestors.

19. What advice would you give to someone just starting their witchcraft journey?

Besides the obvious answer for me being "begin with your Ancestors" and seeking ancestral spirits in general, I'd say it's also important to figure out where your strengths lie and to nurture those gifts first. Sometimes people online make it seem like you have to know everything and be able to do everything to be a "real witch", and that's simply not true. It's even a harmful thing to believe. For starters, acknowledging that certain practices will absolutely be closed to you or out of your reach from the get-go, and there's certain things you will never be able to do for multiple reasons, is not an option, it's a fact, is a need. But even further, there's certain things that you simply will not be the best at, or not even be good at. And that's perfectly normal. Focus on your gifts instead. What can you do. What comes natural to you. How you can develop a full working skillset from the talents you were given at birth and the strengths you already have.

Thanks for asking!