#i also think he just gets more exhausted and stops resisting the military as much but that's not really relevant to this character | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

liddolwhynot2000 · 4 years ago

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Moments Levi shared with his beloved baby daughter- Kutchel

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aka Levi giving all his 💕Uwu's💕 to his baby girl

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Dadaaa

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It's Levi's day off, and even though he tries his hardest not to look it, he's eager to run back home. He's determined to not waste a second of being off duty.

He's missed his family- you and your calming presence. The stability that he falls into at merely being in the same vicinity as you, is difficult to resist-even for a man like Levi.

Your gentleness somehow meshes well with your child's rowdiness, always laughing and wreaking havoc in the house. He wants to hold his baby brat, even if she'll try to pull his hair out for it.

So he hurries back home, but of course, he has to get past your little guard first. Standing with his cloak still in his arms, Levi craned his neck down to stare at the tiny creature sitting on the floor, blocking his path to his beloved wife. Said creature, wearing a blue dress, is his adorable one year old daughter.

The baby doesn't bother to spare him a glance, too busy babbling as she plays with her blocks. Levi's fine with it, it took him a while but he's learned to accept that babies don't care about, well, anything.

He ponders lifting her up and cradling her in his arms for a cuddle. But, considering the ferociousness with which his daughter is bashing two blocks together, he decides that he values his ability to hear.

Kneeling down, he sets his cloak on the floor and sits in front of her, waiting to be noticed. Kutchel looks at him, her big black eyes innocently blinking at him. She shoves a block into her mouth and gurgles, recognising him.

"Do I have your approval to go to your mom now?"

"Ba da guuu"

"Is that a yes or a no?"

More random babbling. Tiny hands busy themselves with trying to crawl away, so Levi pats her on the head and gets up to go to his wife. He doesn't notice his baby pausing mid crawl to pout at him, wanting him to stick close.

He also doesn't see her little face cutely scrunch up, thinking of ways to stop him and bring one of her favourite humans back to her.

''Daadaaa."

Levi freezes, his heart immediately melting. He can't stop himself from turning back to his child, not when she calls out for him like that.

He cradles her in his arms, unaware that you're watching from the kitchen door, committing the sight to memory.

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Conversations

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You've been with Levi for so long now-so much of your life has been spent with this wonderful man and you have no regrets whatsoever.

You do, however, have secrets. Not serious ones, but pure ones. Small, precious memories you've kept to yourself. They're you're little secrets- events that you look back on with fondness.

Events Levi doesn't know you saw happen.

You remember, when you were exhausted from giving birth, how lovingly Levi talked to your newborn daughter.

'Hey brat, you better keep it down now. Your mom just fell asleep- don't yawn. You're already not listening to me-'

He thought you were asleep. If it weren't for your stitches, you would have giggled and alerted him to the fact that you were listening.

You remember all those times you were never woken up by Kutchel crying-because Levi would wake up before you.

'Go to sleep.'

'oooooh'

'I said; Go. To. Sleep. Don't smile at me-- hey stop laughing-'

You caught on to it very randomly, and the memory warmed your heart to this day.

Levi often had silly little conversations with baby Kutchel, when he thought you weren't in hearing range.

'Yes this is the right way-no what do you mean I can't fold shirts like this-you're pouting you obviously don't agree.'

'Kid- I don't know why you like Eren so much-but this works because he can be an unpaid babysitter-no? Fine, I guess I can pay him a little. Okay fine, I'll pay him more then a little.'

'Do you like this dress? Me neither. How about this one-these socks are awful why the hell do you have these-'

'Yes tea is better then coffee. Coffee is for soulless creatures like Mikasa-Hey, don't cry dammit, why do you have to like the brat that glares at me so much huh? You tiny traitor.'

'So I'm taking you to that military ball tommorow-and I expect you to cry enough that I have an excuse to leave. You cry, I leave and then you get as much milk as you want. We good? Good. Don't tell your mother.'

'You threw up on that military police soldier-I'm proud of you brat. Now, let's aim for throwing up on Erwin. Or at least trying to rip his eyebrows out. I feel like the rumour of them being fake might be true.'

'I know you can't talk much, but make a vow to me that you will, never, ever say yes to anything your Aunt Hange asks of you. Trust me, it's for you own good.'

'Kutchel- stop that-I will pay you to stay still. Here, here's all the money I have, which isn't much. Take it and stay still- why the hell are you still wiggling, you need to put your socks on dammit-'

And so much more. It warmed your heart to think of how beautifully he had bonded with her from the start. And you can only be glad you get to see their entire journey together.

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Cloak

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Levi is a man who values cleanliness above all things-he's made sure his house is so clean that all the rooms are sparkling. Despite having a baby in the house, who had recently learned how to walk and subsequently wreak havoc everywhere she wants to, he still tries his hardest to stick to those standards.

So that's why, here he is, pathetically trying to wash clothes, with a clingy toddler who has made it her life's mission to ruin his life. How is she doing this, one would ask. Well, making sure that he can't even put the damn clothes in the basket was one.

'Kutchel-no-stop it, give that back.'

Levi's a little ashamed of himself, just his hands moving to grab his swords are usually enough to strike fear into the heart of his enemies. Yet, here they are, incapable of winning a tug of war with his one year old brat.

He's really, really glad that Hanji can't see him right now.

He manages to get the shirt out of Kutchel's strong grip, causing her to pout and flail her arms with a whine. Levi refuses to give in and snatches the next piece of clothing before she can. He gives her a stern look.

'No.'

With that, he dumps it in the basket. Kutchel doesn't appreciate it, sitting down and pouting at him cutely. It doesn't last long, because she busies herself with the clothes again. At least she isn't snatching them from his hands this time, and only picking on the clean pile.

He gets up to get some more detergent, smiling to himself at the sound of happy gurgles. Once he comes back, he catches sight of Kutchel, and nearly drops all the powder.

His child is exactly where he had left her, except she's now wearing his Survey Corps cloak. Her black hair, much like his own, is messy and the hood is too big for her tiny head. She looks up at him, and smiles in the face of his horror. On one hand, it's pretty damn cute. On the other hand-

'Oh hell no-'

He starts to take the cloak off of her, ignoring her cries of indignation. His child won't have anything to do with the Survey Corps. Ever.

Too bad 15 year old Kutchel Ackerman had every intention of stealing his title from him- but that's a story for another time.

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Clapping

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Levi has self control. Plenty of it, actually. One could easily argue that, after Erwin, he's one of the most composed individuals in the military.

He's dealt with all sorts of people-rude, snobbish, arrogant bastards who think they stand a chance against him. His expression never waivers, even as he insults them to the point their ancestors are crying in the graves.

But what's happening right now, it makes him lose his precious self control. His face, so used to being that of an expressionless grumpy old man, is scrunched up in anger. Levi does not like what's happening.

Not one bit.

Levi can deal with people trash talking him, he never falters despite all the accurate short jokes. He can deal with people bashing Erwin without flinching-because even he's wanted to kill the man once and can't really blame others for wanting to do so as well.

However, what Levi can't deal with in a calm and rational manner, is -

'The fuck did you just say?'

'I said, your daughter is just a dumb brat.'

Yeah, this Military Police Senior Officer is dying today. Levi hopes Erwin is ready to deal with an irate Nile

'Shut the fuck up-I'm the only one who gets to call her a dumb brat.'

The Officer moves to speak again but Levi silences him with a soul burning glare. Levi turns to his brat. Kutchel is sitting on the carpet, wearing a tiny, cute red dress you had bought for her on sale. She's surrounded by numerous toys, gifted by his comrades.

'Kutchel-'

The baby pauses in her play time, which is chewing a stuffed bear, and turns to look at her papa. The officer looks confused.

'If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.'

There's a pause in the room. The officer looks surprised, although he thinks Levi just proved his point. Kutchel looks to be only a few months old and Levi has just monotonously stated a sentence that is usually sung. There was no way the brat would actuall-

Kutchel squealed in delight, pressing her hands together slowly. Once she notices her papas approval, she starts clapping happily.

Levi smirks, while the officer sweat drops.

'See that, bitch? No' dumb brat' does that at 9 months old.'

Of course, Levi still had to beat the guy up a little after that. No one picks on his baby but him.

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Sorry

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'Eat it.'

Levi pushed the spoon towards Kutchel, who refused to open her mouth.

He had seated her on the table, ditching the highchair. A bib was secured around her neck, and the brat was clearly hungry.

Except since she had eaten three bites, she refused to eat more. Levi was slowly getting more and more frustrated.

'What's your problem? I know you're hungry.'

Kutchel stared at him sadly, and his irritation thawed at the sight. His child was usually pretty well behaved when it came to food. She usually liked eating fruits and vegetables, but for some reason, kept rejecting her baby food.

Levi frowned, before deciding to taste it himself. Maybe if he ate one in front of her, she would want to eat it too-

Levi paused.

He slowly ate, resisting the urge to throw up. He grimaced and awkwardly avoided eye contact with Kutchel, feeling sheepish all of a sudden.

There was judgement in her eyes- something he couldn't blame her for.

The hell sort of crap had they been feeing her? It tasted awful. No wonder she wouldn't eat it.

Sighing, Levi shoved the bowl full of food-that-must-not-be-named away. He lifted Kutchel into his arms.

His brat pouted slightly, her small arms wrapping around his neck. Poor kid was hungry, as evidenced by her discontent expression.

Levi smiled at her lightly, tucking her head into he crook of his neck.

'Sorry Kutchel-let's go to the bakery and get some pastries. And when we get back, I'll even mix some chocolate in your milk. Just don't tell your mother okay.'

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A/N: Heyooo. Just randomly thought of Levi being a dad and this came to mind. These are actually only some of the moments I thought of, I have plenty more in mind. Maybe I'll write those out too. Hope y'all enjoyed this! ❇️

#Attack on titan #AOT #Levi ackerman #Levi as a dad #Papa levi #Levi x reader #Baby Kutchel #Fluff

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firewoodfigs · 3 years ago

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Hi!! Could you do "It was a hospital bed, and A slipped in carefully to lie beside B all night" for a Royai fic from that prompt list? Thank you!! ❤️❤️

hello anon!! thanks for the prompt aaaah I had a lot of fun toying with it in between work and the other shenanigans that have been cropping up this week <3 I hope you don't mind the somewhat unusual ending ahaha I dimly recall writing a few other fics indirectly responding to this prompt (here and here!) so I wanted to try something slightly different from my usual fare 👉🏻👈🏻 part of this was also originally from a two-shot I'm working on, tweaked to fit the prompt hehe. I hope you enjoy!!! 🥰

+++++

Riza can think of a million reasons why hospitals are awful.

First, the food. She’s not sure if it’s as nutritious as they make it out to be; there are times when she wonders if it’s even edible. She’s had worse, of course - hospital food isn’t as bad as ration bars - but she’s quickly getting tired of eating plain yoghurt and bland porridge every day, for every single meal.

Second, the stench. Riza hates that every inch of the place smells like a victim of obsessive cleanliness; she has to resist the urge to upchuck every time the door opens and the smell of chemicals and antiseptic filters in like an unwanted guest.

Third, the fact that she’s sharing a room with a man who, at this point, is behaving more like a cat on hot bricks than a disciplined soldier is quickly driving her insane. She’d readily agreed to be his caretaker, of course; Riza doubts there’s anyone else capable of dealing with his antics and ever-growing anxiety. But after hearing him sigh and toss and turn in his bed for the fifty-eighth time that night (she’d counted, because she was bored out of her wits, and there was nothing else she could do other than sleep or stare at the ceiling, per doctor’s orders), Riza decides she’s just about had enough.

She looks at him from her bed. He’s presently engaged with twiddling his thumbs, thinking out loud.

Riza sighs and rises from her bed quietly. She brings the IV stand along with her - an unnecessary inconvenience - and carefully slips into his bed once she’s made sure that the tubes and wires connected to them are tangle-free.

“I never pegged you as an opportunist, Lieutenant,” he murmurs, despite her best efforts to be discreet. “Sleeping with your commanding officer while he’s blind?”

“You could always court martial me later, sir,” Riza deadpans. “Now scoot over.”

Luckily, he obliges without much retort.

“Your wish is my command.”

Riza huffs. She adjusts the thin, scraggly piece of linen that the hospital justifies as a blanket - another downside of this shitty place - and makes sure he’s probably covered, warm.

“Three words,” she mutters.

“Eight letters?”

“Twelve, actually.”

Roy raises a brow. “What could it be?”

“Would you like to wager a guess, sir?”

“Not really.”

“You’re an idiot,” she says. Roy laughs, and it’s a tiny little sound that is so discordant with his current mood, but it’s at least genuine. “Now go to sleep.”

“Alright, alright.”

He stops fidgeting, for a while. Riza closes her eyes and attempts to fall asleep - and she actually does, for a while - at least until she hears the sheets rustling again, the movement and tension coming from beside her. She groans softly.

“You should sleep, sir.”

She feels him stiffen. Roy smiles sheepishly, looking right through her like she’s not there. It still unnerves her how this is probably going to be their new normal: him without his sight. Her as his eyes.

“Sorry.”

Riza frowns. An apology is not the answer she wants. What she wants is for him - or them both, actually - to sleep and rest and properly recuperate so that they can have a speedy recovery, so that they can get out of here as soon as possible.

“Bad dreams?” she asks, because it’s the exact same thing that’s been haunting her. (She’s lucky her throat makes it impossible for her to scream or kick up a fuss; she’d hate for Roy to stumble blindly through the room in what he probably thinks is an act of chivalry and/or heroism.)

He shrugs.

“Then and now,” he offers. His smile fades, and he lapses into an unexpected moment of vulnerability. “Hard to differentiate between day and night nowadays, too.”

And because Riza doesn’t know what to say, she simply brushes her knuckles against his.

Roy returns the gesture, drawing indiscernible patterns on the back of her hand with his bandaged one.

“Well, it’s almost midnight now, sir.”

He lets out a small laugh, but it’s painfully hollow.

Riza shifts slightly. It’s a bit of a tight squeeze - hospital beds are clearly not meant for two persons (or anything inappropriate) - but it doesn’t bother her all that much. She just wishes there’s more she can do, to comfort him. Make him feel a little less gloomy.

“It feels like I’ve been sleeping for years.”

“If it helps reduce the incidents of you falling asleep during office hours, then you should get more sleep now, while you can.”

Roy turns, like he’s searching for her, even though there’s not much closer she can be at this point. He exhales shakily. She feels his hand trembling against hers, and responds with a gentle caress. (She knows he’s still feeling guilty, probably berating himself internally about their predicament, about what transpired beforehand. And to be fair, there’s a part of her that’s still angry about all that's happened underground. They’ll probably have to talk about it, at some point, but probably not now — not when they’re both still drugged up and only half-lucid.)

“Humour me, Lieutenant.”

“What?”

“I can’t sleep,” he confesses. Dimly, Riza notes that his voice has taken on a somewhat petulant edge — like a child complaining about their bedtime, but she doesn’t comment on it. Being nearly bedridden for a week is enough to drive her nuts, too. “I’ve tried counting sheep and all that shit, and it’s just — it’s not working.”

Riza sighs. She’s tired, yes, but she’s also aware that she’s probably not going to get any sleep at this rate. She tries to think of ways to stave off his restlessness. Reading is one — she can probably bore him into sleep with a Xingese recitation (she’s gotten pretty good at that lately), but she’s technically not supposed to be talking much. Alcohol is another, but neither of them are supposed to be drinking (and besides, the only form of alcohol available in hospitals isn’t meant for human consumption). Maybe chess, then. She’s not particularly keen on playing a game of chess, now (because she just wants to sleep), but she thinks it’ll help exhaust some of his boundless energy.

“We could play a game of chess, if you want. Breda was kind enough to drop a vinyl board here in the afternoon.”

“I can’t see —“

“I’ll tell you where I move my pieces.”

He frowns, clearly not liking the idea. “You’re not supposed to be talking much, Lieutenant.”

“I’m fine,” she insists, turning to pour a cup of water for herself before continuing. “I won’t have to speak much — unless you’re being a nuisance or a cheat or a fraud.”

He laughs. “I’ll be none of those things, Lieutenant.”

“Good.”

She sets up the board on his bed and helps him sit up. Riza lets him play white.

“It’s your move, sir.”

“You’ve made yours?”

“No. You’re playing white.”

“Tough. It’ll be more embarrassing if I end up losing.”

Riza smiles. “Well, we don’t know that yet, sir.”

He opens with pawn to e4. She helps him move his pieces and parrots her movements back to him. Pawn to e4, too. Pawn to d4. Same here. A closed game, not quite like his usual aggressive style of playing.

Riza watches as he frowns with intensity. It’s probably more a test of memory than strategy for him at this point. She wonders if there’s a way he can adapt to chess, to the military’s utilitarian (and frankly unsympathetic) demands now that his sight’s impaired.

(Life is so unlike chess, Riza thinks, in spite of Roy’s silly metaphors that postulate otherwise. The rules are never fixed, and the universe is always rife with uncertainty. It’s not like chess, where you can predict your opponents’ moves if you get good enough. Neither of them had expected that he’d be here right now, losing sleep and contemplating life over a chessboard while blind.)

He clucks his tongue, reciting a series of movements from memory. The Blackmar-Diemer. Riza smiles indulgently.

Still as aggressive as ever, sir.

Of course.

The game quickly becomes a round of blitz, and though he manages to open his lines and mount a rather decent attack, it’s clear that he has trouble recalling after the eighteenth move. It's still an impressive feat, though. Better than the average layperson.

“Check,” Riza announces, conversationally. Technically, she’d had the advantage, both on the board (and in real life). It shouldn’t really count, and besides, checkmate isn’t her objective — it’s to get her commanding office to sleep.

“Well-played,” Roy hums. He’s strangely still in his bed as he closes his eyes, rubbing at his temples — presumably to ease off an oncoming migraine. It happens a lot, when he’s in deep thought, when he’s over thinking. Thinking too much for his own good. “I need to work on my recall, I think.”

“I think so too, sir.”

He laughs, but the sound is again empty, foreign. It is so at odds with his usual smirks and unbridled laughter (when he’s laughing at someone else, or a joke made at somebody’s expense), like there’s an ache beneath the surface that she cannot reach.

Roy turns slightly, bumping into his dethroned king as he adjusts himself on the bed.

She blames the sudden, uncharacteristic urge to cry on her drugged-up system.

(Riza doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to how uncommunicative his eyes are. He’s always regarded each and every one of his subordinates with respect and meaning and gratitude, but he’d simply looked over the unit as if taking inventory when they had come by earlier.

But she’ll make do, Riza thinks. She has to. She’s always known him in a way nobody else has, in a deeply intimate way, like a book she’s memorised by heart.)

They fall silent for a few minutes. His lips part a little - she knows he’s about to say something - but it snaps shut again, like he can’t bring himself to say the words.

Riza simply waits for him, like she always has; holding onto his held breath like it's the last thread of hope. She leans into his touch a little closer than necessary.

I’m right here, even if you can’t see me.

Roy smiles.

“I hope I won’t forget your face, Riza.”

#royai #royai fanfic #royai fic #sorry my lunch break is almost over so I gotta go back to work LOL but I will come back and edit this later AHAHAHAH #my new brand is 'excessive usage of chess metaphors' and man. it shows.......#lovely anon <3 #have a great week anon!!! mwahmwahmwah!!!!!!#reblogs and comments are always appreciated :")

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asset35-maya · 3 years ago

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Reed900 meet-cute: disciplinary action (3/3)

“Be yourself.”

“What?”

“Just be yourself now.”

Gavin and Nines exchanged incredulous looks. They were approaching the end of the disciplinary workshop. Wasn’t the whole point to not be themselves?

Simon smiled in his usual mild manner. By now they had learnt it could only mean trouble.

“I’ve read your files. Neither of you know how to mince words. Neither of you are gentle.

Your Homicide colleagues consistently complain about your hostility and lack of respect, Detective Reed. And you, Agent Nines. You have a history of being rough with everyone you encounter on the field. Even civilians.

I can see you’ve both been on your best behaviour the past three days. Not sure who you’re trying to impress...”

Simon glanced between them, still smiling sweetly.

“But you can be yourself now.”

He took a step back and waved at the group to begin the last activity:

Jenga.

Giant Jenga.

Pairs vs pairs, with one person blindfolded and the other giving instructions.

Gavin groaned as they found themselves facing Allen and Sixty. The two grinned back, well aware of their competitive advantage. Who could be better coordinated than two SWAT teammates turned lovers?

Definitely not Gavin and Nines.

After a twisted ankle and three fallen jenga towers, Gavin ripped off his blindfold and rounded on Nines.

“Your directions suck.”

“My directions are fine. It’s not my fault you can’t comprehend them.”

“It’s literally your fault I’m picking the wrong blocks!”

“My communications modules are the most advanced-”

“Shut up and switch with me. I’ll give the instructions. I outrank you anyway.”

Nines took the blindfold coolly.

“I don’t need your instructions. My perception and cognition software is more than enough.”

He shoved past Gavin to get to the tower of blocks. Sixty was waiting for him, smirking.

Nines proceeded to ignore all of Gavin’s barked commands… and fared just as badly as the human had. When their opponents decided to indulge in a makeout session after a particularly spectacular collapse, Nines faced him angrily.

“Stop distracting me!”

“Not that advanced, huh? This is why you should listen to your superiors.”

“Superior? How insecure do you have to be to pull rank in the middle of a bar game?”

Easily inflamed as ever, Gavin barged up to the android.

“The fuck you say to me, plastic? INSECURE? I’ll show you insecure!”

Nines’ LED went bright red. He put his hands on Gavin’s chest and shoved the human out of his personal space.

A scuffle began.

A much needed adrenaline surge after three days of inane indoor activities.

An outlet.

An irrational sense of relief.

A heavy blow to a steel midsection. An uppercut that only narrowly missed a jaw that was broken twice before. A mechanical hand catching a calloused fist.

It ended with Gavin pinned to a wall. There was silence as the other cops stopped tinkering with their block towers. Allen sat down with a sigh and Sixty climbed into his lap to watch the fun.

“Whatcha gonna do, big guy? Snap my neck? They’ll have you shut down in no time.”

There was only a deep growl in response. Gavin struggled against the iron grip.

“That all you got? Try showing off with something you weren’t built with!”

Nines released him immediately and slackened against the wall beside him. He stared at his own hands in shock.

With the return of blood flow to his wrists, Gavin released that he had just put himself in very grave danger. For the second time in his stupid life, he had tried to fight a military grade android. His head suddenly felt sore where Connor had given him a concussion a year ago. It started to sink in that his volatility was a serious problem. He was a danger to himself. Feeling faint, Gavin leaned against the wall.

LED spinning a calm blue, Simon strolled over from where he had been mentoring another group.

“Oh good. That’s what I was waiting for.”

The two merely looked at the blond android, eyes unfocused, chests heaving.

“I honestly thought the SWAT lovebirds would be the pair to implode first, but no matter, this is still a teachable moment. Gather round, everyone.”

The others approached cautiously. The pair looked like they would relapse into violence any second.

“You must have all realised that my activities have little material value themselves. You must be wondering what any part of my workshop has to do with police discipline… Allow me to explain.

Day One served to profile each officer beyond the complaints made against them. I then matched pairs based on the closest personality dysfunctions. Day Two was used to build a working relationship within each pair, and Day Three, today, was the stress test. The intent… was definitely to give everyone a taste of their own medicine… but also to let you all see how exactly your toxic behaviours could have developed… using your partner as a mirror.

Detective Reed and Agent Nines. Let’s unpack what happened here. You’ve gotten to know each other fairly well by now. You recognise each other’s competence and drive. You’ve shared laughs at other people’s expense. You even empathise with each other’s seeming lack of emotional intelligence. I think you might even have taken a liking to each other, no?”

Gavin and Nines chanced a glance at each other. There was a mutual feeling of foolishness. Simon went on.

“You both were on your best behaviour… until you succumbed to your superiority complexes and quick tempers. The only thing different from what usually happens at work was the person on the receiving end. This time, it was someone who could take it… and maybe even someone who deserved it. Detective, it’s been long since someone gave back insults as good your own, no? And Agent Nines, isn’t this is the first time a human has even tried to resist your use of force?”

Sixty had stopped listening and was trying to move Allen’s attention back to himself. The older man had the audacity to shush the android in his lap… and then the second squabble of the day begun. Simon smiled indulgently and held up a finger.

“I’ll be with you two in a moment, gentlemen. Let me wrap things up for this pair.

My point to the both of you is… you might go around thinking you’re the big bad wolf, but there’s always another wolf just around the corner. He might even be bigger. So there’s no pride to be taken in putting down the sheep around you. It’s embarrassing, really. So stop it. My sincere hope is that you will both remember what happened here the next time an impulse to terrorise an innocent colleague arises.

But if you simply must be a wolf… I suggest that you find your pack, for a lone wolf is a danger to himself and everyone around.”

Simon turned away and reached for Sixty’s hand to interface. He then began to break down the reasons for the mutual over-dependence between the SWAT android and his captain.

Gavin and Nines remained slumped against the wall. Even the RK900 seemed exhausted after the emotional rollercoaster they’d been on… from irritation and anger, to shock and bewilderment. Several moments passed and then Gavin suddenly reached within his jacket pocket and produced his phone. He held it out sideways to Nines.

“What?”

“He said to form a pack.”

Nines hesitated, but then quickly touched a finger to the device. Gavin glanced down at the new contact. It was saved as “Alpha 9Z”.

He looked up with a half-smirk, half-snarl on his face and found the same expression mirrored on the android’s face.

#reed900 #gavin reed #rk900 #dbh fanfic #dbh rk900 #dbh nines #fic post #dbh #dbh simon #Reed900 disciplinary action AU

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ivy-loves-chocolate · 4 years ago

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'Ello! Pardon my inactivity but I do have a request for thee, could I have an Albert Wesker x Reader where both he's teaching the reader some new combat moves (even though her job doesn't require doing so) and while they're training she manages to pin him down which results in him "rewarding" her? Apologies for this being long!

Albert Wesker x F!Reader

Warnings: smut

Ever since they started dating Wesker wanted to teach y/n some self-defence techniques, because he wanted to make sure she is safe without him and it was also part of his job. Staying almost everyday after hours, training the mew recruits, RPD became his second home. If he feels he is capable of, he goes to the gym as a method to relive some stress. Not to mention, he realised how much he missed the presence of another human being until his lover came to train with him.

It was late, not an usual hour for training, but Wesker likes the privacy. Since he doesn’t spend much time at his own house, he didn’t made his own gym, so he either goes to RPD or the one from Umbrella.

It became a routine for them. Even if her job doesn’t require combat training she is grateful for this opportunity. Wesker is an incredible fighter and teacher and has a lot of patience with her. Over time they advanced and now they fight to pin each other to the ground.

The size difference was noticeable, but that wasn’t necessary a bad thing. Albert was taller and stronger belittling y/n maybe without intention. He taunted her on purpose just to piss her off so she could lose focus, then putting her on the ground was easy. He didn’t fall with all his weight on her, he didn’t want to crush her. Dirty thoughts crossed Albert’s mind as he saw her underneath him, squirming and groaning to get free form his release. Albert was sitting on top of her, resting his weight on her chest while griping her shoulder, holding one of her arm in place, with one hand and the other was on the ground. Her arm was uncomfortably staying between his shoulder and the arm that was gripping her shirt, the other was on the ground. If she was quicker she could’ve grabbed his leg and stop him from continuing the move. Albert was near her ear and couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease her a little more. He was holding his hands keeping her in a more powerful grip, from which it was impossible to escape.

“You would’ve been robbed 3 times by now.”

“Not everyone is a trained policeman with military experience.”

He let a deep chuckle inside her ear and released his grip.

“We’re going to do this one more time, then we can call it a day.”

“I don’t understand why we need to do this, it’s not like someone will attack an accountant out of the blue.”

“I think i explained you this. I want to you to be prepared for anything, even if there aren’t many crimes going around. You should thank me.”

“For teaching me, or for the low crime rate?”

“Shut up.”

Wesker chraged towards her and this time without any restraint. When his fist was about to hit her face, she lowered herself at his chest level, placed one hand on his lower thigh and the other on his back and lifted his leg up spinning him around, then dropping him on the ground. A very confused Wesker was now laying on the floor, processing what happened. He was sure she will fail this time, but when he came back from his confusion , pride and joy conquered his mind. His girl did it. Y/N saw he was dazed and she kneeled next to him worried he might hit his head too hard.

“Did i throw you too hard?”

“No, i received stronger hits.”

“Are you that impressed then?”

“Yes.”

Y/N left out a small chuckle and gave him a small kiss on his sweaty forehead, putting back in place a few strands of hair.

“He looked so good when he’s like this” she thought while running her fingers through his blond hair, admiring his exhausted form. His cheeks were red, his breath heavy, in other words, he wasn’t the perfect guy anymore. Sometimes his impeccable appearance pissed her off. Everyone has bad days, but not him. Moments like this were a treasure to her.

A small moan left his mouth when y/n grip tightened on his scalp.

“You like pain, don’t you?” Y/N was surprised when she felt his long, thick fingers moving on her inner thigh. Wesker was squeezing her flesh and was going painfully slow up to her clothed core.

“Big boy was pinned down and now he wants attention?”

“I don’t mind”

She moved the hand from his scalp, caressing his soft white skin down to the elastic band of his shorts, playing with the laces while extending his agony. She playfully inserted a finger inside, just as deep as the elastic band was, and kept pulling it. She took a glance over her shoulder and could see his erection growing.

“Do you want some comfort down there, big guy?” She said while teasing the area just above the growing member with her fingertips.

Wesker let out a shaky “please”, the other hand moved alongside to pull the tank top, enough to reveal his hardening nipple. It didn’t take long for her lips to make contact with the skin, while the other hand went deeper to explore his hot member. She grabbed it and began to stroke him gently, her fingers barely touching around his girth, while her tongue drew circles around his nipple. Wesker was struggling to pull off her leggings so he could slide a few fingers inside her. Y/N noticed and helped the poor man. In a few seconds she resumed her actions, this time half naked while Wesker was working fanatically her core. The idea of being caught excited them both, and they didn’t have any intention to speed things up. The room was filled with their dirty moans.

Wesker was making scissor motions with his fingers inside her. She needed to be well prepared to take him whole. Y/N increased the speed as well, going up and down to his ball sack, then up again. His shaft was soaked in his own precum, and his nipple was red and swollen by all the sucking.

“Say, do you want to spice it up, Y/N?”

“What do you mean?”

“Sit on my face.”

She immediately removed her leggings and panties and rested her wet core on his face, feeling his hot breath on her lips. His tongue began to spread her folds and feel the salty liquid that was dripping on his tongue. He raised his hips a little to allow y/n to remove his clothes too, revealing his hard member. The chill air made it throb, but it was soon engulfed by her hungry mouth. Well, how much she could because he was really long and thick. She covered his tip with her tips, then she proceeded to go slowly down his length taking more and more until the tip hit the back of her throat. The she stopped and pulled back, only to go down again, accommodating with the length. Meanwhile, Albert had his big thumb pressed on her clit and his tongue deep buried in her hole, licking around the contracting walls. Precum started to leak down her throat and he began to throb in her mouth. Y/N removed herself and Wesker whined in protest, trying to put pin her down again.

“Haven’t learned your lesson?”

Y/N stand up and turned around so she could sit on his cock. She was well warmed up and near edge, so with a quick thrust Wesker filled her insides. Y/N felt so full that it was unbearable. His shaft constantly hit her spot and tears began to drip down her cheeks from the overstimulation. Wesker was close too, she could feel him throb inside. She threw her head back, her vision went dark for a few seconds and all the tension that was building in her abdomen, stomach, and chest was released as she came hard on his cock. Her contractions helped Wesker reach his release too, he grabbed her flesh so hard that it turned red under his fingers so he could hold her in place. Y/N collapsed on his chest with his shaft still inside her.

“I will beat you up more frequently.”

“Oh dear, you’ll have to try harder from now on.”

“Don’t you like rewarding sex?”

“I like sex in my bed to be honest.”

He had a point. With all the adrenaline and arousal gone, self consciousness made it’s way in their minds. They were in the RPD, late, and anyone could enter the gym. Wesker pulled out, a mixture of their cum and sweat combined dripping down her thighs. He took a towel and cleaned around her core and helped her stand up. After a quick kiss on the lips, they both headed to the locker room. Hopefully, they haven’t met anyone on their way there, nor on their way to the parking lot. It was indeed a quiet city.

#resident evil #albert wesker #smut #fic

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tsarisfanfiction · 4 years ago

Note

Sentence Starters:

Can we stop for a moment? I think I need a break.

Coz I don’t think Scott’s ever uttered those words in his life!

Water Rescue

Fandom: Thunderbirds Rating: Gen Genre: Family/Hurt/Comfort Characters: Gordon, Scott, Virgil

Ahaha, probably not something he’d say if he had any choice in the matter, no! That being said, five months after you sent this and I’m finally prodding this far back in my inbox (see, I get around to prompts eventually!). I might even have some idea why he might be saying it. Maybe.

Now... can I even find the original prompt list for this... Oop, apparently it was on the wrong blog, but found it eventually!

Injured Sentence Starters

“Can we stop for a moment? I think I need a break.”

Gordon hit the edge of the pool and caught the side of it, pulling himself vertical and looking over at his eldest brother, who was clinging to the side and looking absolutely exhausted. It wasn’t an admittance Scott ever made lightly, but while he had his pride - especially in front of younger brothers - he did have some level of common sense.

The tongue-lashings Gordon had delivered in the past when he’d pushed himself beyond his limits in the pool and ended up cramping and in need of rescue himself might have also, finally, sunk in. You couldn’t save someone else if you were in trouble yourself.

He eyed Scott anyway, because he was looking a little pale and he suspected he’d still pushed further than he should have done with their water training, but didn’t hesitate to agree.

“We can take a break,” he agreed. “Get up on the poolside and take a breather.”

Chlorinated water plastering his hair down even more effectively than the handfuls of hair gel employed every morning, Scott nodded. He really was looking pale, now Gordon was looking at him properly, and he lingered back in the water as Scott turned and grasped the edge of the pool with a white-knuckled grip. Biceps rippled, Scott’s arms tensing in preparation of the pull, and then Gordon was surging the foot or so between them and catching his brother as his grip failed and he vanished beneath the surface.

Yanking Scott back up, Gordon trod water as he patted his brother’s cheek. His eyes were closed, face drained of all colour, and in the back of his mind Gordon retracted anything he’d thought about Scott learning not to overdo it. Then again, he should not have been exhausted to the point of fainting from what they’d done so far.

He frowned.

“C’mon, Scott,” he urged, fingers slipping down to press against the pulse point beneath his brother’s jaw. It was still there, slightly thready but not enough to be a concern. Wet fingers in front of a partially open mouth registered steady breathing, so with a scowl he returned to tapping Scott’s cheek insistently. “Wake up.”

There was a cough and a splutter, and he grasped at the side of the pool again, allowing his own legs a respite from treading water as Scott blinked his way back into consciousness.

“Gords?” His name was a little quiet and unsteady, confusion lacing though in the background.

“You fainted,” Gordon told him bluntly. Scott blanched, as though he wasn’t already pale enough, and Gordon’s suspicions rose. There was something his brother wasn’t telling him. “Training is over.”

The sigh he got in response wasn’t surprised, rather resigned. Gordon tightened his grip as Scott reached for the side of the pool again.

“You’ve been dunked enough,” he said a little sharply. “I’m going to swim you back to the shallow end and we’ll get out there.”

“I can-”

“Absolutely not.” Sometimes, Gordon couldn’t believe his brother’s stupidity. “Come on.” He kicked away from the side, bringing Scott with him; despite his words, his brother didn’t fight his hold. It didn’t take long to get them back to the shallows, where both of them could stand easily on the bottom. “Out.”

Scott grasped the side again, muscles rippling as he pulled himself up. Gordon took no chances, boosting him from the side until he was clear before bringing himself out alongside.

Any attempts his brother might have made to escape were scuppered by a hand on his wrist, keeping him by the poolside.

“Do I need to give you the water safety lecture again?” he demanded. “You do not push yourself to the point of collapse in the pool. Ever.”

“I know.” Scott looked slightly unsure, and Gordon paused. “I was fine, Gordon, I promise. I don’t know what happened.”

Gordon didn’t like the sound of that at all; it made sense insofar as the fact that he also hadn’t noticed anything was wrong until immediately before, but if Scott was fainting for no apparent reason, then that was potentially something a lot more serious.

“You didn’t forget to eat earlier, did you?” Scott shook his head. “Sleepless night?” That headshake was less certain, but knowing his brother’s sleeping habits, that didn’t unduly surprise Gordon. Still, it was concerning. He reached out for Scott’s pulse point again.

Scott didn’t pull back.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked, feeling the thrumming pulse under his fingers. It was stronger than when he’d been unconscious, but still wasn’t quite right.

“I’m fine,” Scott promised. “Whatever it was has passed.”

“I’ll be more convinced once I’ve got a scan on you,” Gordon muttered. Scott baulked at the idea, but he held firm. “Scott, if you’re ill, we need to know.” Just the idea of his brother having another fainting spell in the air, at the controls of Thunderbird One, or even in a danger zone...

No, Gordon couldn’t let that happen.

“I’m not ill.” On the plus side, Scott clearly felt fine enough to be a terrible patient. That being said, it wasn’t a particularly high bar; keeping him pinned down if he was coherent was always a challenge.

“If you can stand up without a headrush or fainting again, I’ll consider believing you,” Gordon pointed out, bringing his hand back from Scott’s throat and making his way to his feet. “Think you can?” He held out his hands for Scott to take. His stubborn brother didn’t accept the help, so Gordon snatched his wrists anyway.

It turned out to be a good move, because Scott swayed slightly - not much, but more than he’d ever do if he was completely healthy - as he reached his full height. Gordon narrowed his eyes.

“Infirmary or den?” he asked, less because he wanted to give Scott an out and more because the den was closer.

“Den is fine,” Scott replied, predictably. Well, if he wanted to play it that way.

“Den it is,” Gordon agreed, and raised an eyebrow at Scott’s suspicious look. “What? I gave you the choice, didn’t I?”

The noise Scott made in his throat was just as suspicious as the look, but his brother didn’t reply. Gordon grinned at him and led the way, not letting go. Scott stumbled after him until Gordon ducked underneath his arm. The stairs were, in Gordon’s opinion, too much of a risk, so he dragged his brother towards the elevator and tried not to think about the trail of water they were traipsing all through the house.

Hopefully Grandma would understand.

Still, he snagged a towel in passing and slung it around his neck until the elevator spat them out upstairs. It was deployed on Scott upon arrival in the den, because the sofa cushions were only water resistant and Grandma got very upset if wet bodies sat on them for any length of time.

Scott grumbled protests that he was capable of drying himself, which Gordon ignored entirely, before sinking down entirely too gratefully onto the nearest sofa. Gordon hurriedly got rid of the worst of the water from his own body before he threw himself onto the sofa next to Scott.

“Virgil,” he called, prodding at his wrist comm and leaning sharply out of Scott’s reach as his brother reacted. “Could you bring a medscanner to the den?”

“What happened?” A grease-covered Virgil appeared in miniature, scowling up at him in concern. “Weren’t you and Scott doing water training?”

“Until Scott fainted,” Gordon agreed, ignoring the hiss of his name from said older brother and extending his arm so that it was out of Scott’s reach. “As you can see, he’s lively again now, but-”

“You have no idea why?” Whether Virgil was finishing his sentence or just guessing, he wasn’t sure, but either way it was correct.

“Yup,” he agreed. “So if you could..?”

“I’m on my way.”

The call cut out just as Scott managed to grab his wrist.

“Gordon.”

“What?” he asked. “You thought I was going to just leave you here while I fetched it so you could escape?” From the frustrated look on his brother’s face, that was exactly what big brother had been hoping for. “If you didn’t want Virgil involved, you should have picked the infirmary, bro.”

He was fairly sure the growled words under Scott’s breath were ones from the military-dictionary, and not the Grandma-approved one.

“Love you, too, bro.” He pushed himself upright again and gave his brother another once-over. Scott really did look fine, and the chances were high that it was a random one-off - probably his sleep schedule catching up with him at last - but Gordon couldn’t shake the unease. “Look, Scott. Just humour me, okay? If the scan doesn’t show anything then that’s fine. I just want to be sure.”

Scott sighed, reluctance oozing from every pore, but he didn’t argue.

“I’m fine.”

Well, he didn’t argue much.

“That’s for the scanner to decide.”

Booted feet all but running across the floor cut off any retort Scott might have been building, and Virgil appeared. Somehow he looked even more grease-stained than his hologram had, but Gordon was more interested in the medscanner he was clutching.

Scott endured it with bad grace.

“How long was he out?” Virgil demanded. Gordon shrugged.

“A few seconds,” he said. “Thirty, tops.” It wasn’t long, but it was long enough.

Virgil’s hum seemed to agree with him as the scanner beeped. Three pairs of eyes focused on it.

Nothing wrong.

Well, technically it was flagging up some minor exhaustion - no doubt from the training - and an advisory about sleep and electrolytes flashed up, but there was nothing dramatic.

Virgil scowled at Scott. “Electrolytes,” he said. “And sleep. I’m grounding you for twelve hours, and it’ll be longer if you don’t spend at least half of them in bed.” He brandished the scanner when Scott’s mouth opened. “Preferably all of them.”

Brown eyes glanced to Gordon, ignoring the protests coming from their big brother. “Get him to his room while I fix something up.”

“F.A.B. Come on, Scotty. Bed time.” He slipped off the sofa and grabbed Scott’s arms. “Up you get.” Blue eyes glowered at him in frustration, but with the dreaded g-word hanging over him, Scott was reluctantly compliant. Already he was steadier on his feet, to the point that Gordon was happy to risk the stairs up to the bedrooms.

There were, thankfully, no more incidents, and Scott sank down onto his bed with another glare. Gordon joined him, uninvited but equally not dismissed, and they sat shoulder to shoulder as they waited for Virgil.

The family medic didn’t take long, appearing with a sports bottle in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

“Drink all of it,” he instructed, pressing the bottle into Scott’s hand. Big brother made a face but obediently took a few gulps. “Once you’re done, get into pyjamas and go to bed.” The water was placed on the bedside table, alongside a pill. “If you can’t sleep, take that.”

Scott’s shoulders slumped but there was no protest. Then again, Gordon probably wasn’t the only one who had thought about the what-ifs of a repeat on a rescue. Scott was many things, but sometimes he could see the same dangers the rest of them were scared of. Not always, but sometimes.

“Gordon Cooper Tracy!”

Oops. Grandma must have found the trail of water. He glanced at his older brothers, who both looked vaguely sympathetic - a first, but then he’d had good reason this time - but offered no support.

“I’d say that’s my cue to leave,” he said, dragging himself to his feet. He pressed a hand to Scott’s shoulder. “See you in twelve hours, Scotty.”

There was no agreement - then again, Scott staying in bed for twelve hours seemed less likely than John willingly going to a party - but there was a small quirk of his lips into what could be a smile.

“Thanks, Gordon.”

Gordon huffed. “No more fainting during water training. I’m getting fed up of having to drag you out at the end.”

“This was the first time!” Scott protested, but Gordon didn’t bother answering that; the other occasions might have seen him still conscious, but they’d otherwise been no better. Instead, he gave a jaunty wave to his eldest brother, and offered Virgil a sloppy handover salute - big brother was his responsibility now - before slipping out of the room to face Grandma.

Scott was in good hands.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds are go fanfiction #tsari writes fanfiction #gordon tracy #scott tracy #virgil tracy #thunderwhump #drabbles #janetm74 #water rescue

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helenazbmrskai · 4 years ago

Text

title ‹ Christmas bribery ›

pairing ‹ soldier!seokjin x oc ›

genre ‹ Christmas/holiday au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst but barely there ›

summary ‹ This is the first time you can’t go home and celebrate Christmas with your family so your mom makes sure you don’t spend the holidays alone happy to learn that Seokjin, your mother’s best friend’s son is taking his annual leave near the 22nd of December from Military services. This story is about the biggest Christmas bribery of the century. ›

warnings ‹ swear words here and there, bad puns? ›

word count ‹ 6.2k ›

notes. I’m here to deliver a light read to set the mood for the holidays and I hope all of you will enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the process of writing it. In this Christmas collab, I had the chance to meet with these amazing people so I’m sharing this story as a gift and as a thank you!

this is part of the Christmas fic collab that was suggested by @kooala please check out the masterpost and enjoy every story we share!

”You did what?!” I feel dizzy due to the sudden movement of my body jerking up in a sitting position, crisscrossing my legs under me as my hand holds up the phone to my right ear a little bit more pressingly after hearing the breaking news. That she tells me with a singing tone sounding so excited but I can’t seem to share her sentiments as the bewilderment decorating my voice is in sharp contrast with the silence that settled on the cosy apartment like a thick feather-filled duvet. Nibbling on my thin lips I locate the single gingerbread scented candle on my desk still illuminating the interior of my messy bedroom the flames licking up the walls and disappearing near the ceiling, creating pretty shapes and lights over the dull paint, it helps me regain my composure before I realise that mom is not yet finished talking.

”Well he needed a place to stay and busses won’t go out because of the upcoming storm his apartment is in Daegu and I’m sure he’ll be tired from the flight.” Flicking on the lights I take in the sight, clothes piled up on the chair’s armrest whilst dirty plates littering every usable surface, fuck, if my room looks like a pigsty I don’t want to imagine how the other rooms are looking right now.

I was so immersed in doing great on my finals that I don’t think I cleaned the space up for a while.

I should start doing my laundry so I have something to wear as I already look to be out of clean t-shirts inspecting the pile of unwashed jeans and other garments, momentarily embarrassed to see I’m also out of room to place new dirty clothes on top of all these.

”What are you implying mother?” Pursing my lips, I honestly start to lose her train of thoughts as her rant goes on and my eyes wander over the state my apartment is in after stressful weeks but knowing her ways she’ll start with building on my conscience until she realises that I’m no longer an unsuspecting five-year-old girl and she’ll pull out the big guns and dust off her bribing skills.

Whatever her plan is, she always makes me go accordingly no matter how much I try to resist or protest and I feel a knot form in my throat at that. If this is about my non-existent dating life again that she called me to discuss in the dread of the night, I swear I’m gonna flip a table or something.

”You remember Sunha’s eldest son?” Answering back with a question as she often likes to do, doesn’t throw me off balance as it used to.

I’m long ago accustomed to getting her ways to twist the conversation to her favour so I’m ready to fire back my reply in the same form matching her up. ”How is your best friend’s son has to do with any of this?” Utterly confused by the mention, that must lace my tone since she lets a lightsome laugh bubble up in her chest I can picture her dimples are showing in full display because of it.

”Did you even pay attention to a word I said?” She sounds more amused than accusing, letting me know that she actually doesn’t mind how my head gets airy sometimes, her playfulness earns a groan from my side of the line, it’s getting pretty late and I have not enough brain cells left for her mind games.

”Spit it out, mom. You know I love you but I had a rough week so spare me of your wicked schemes.” I breathe out the words orbs closing involuntarily as I rest my head against the door frame. Where was I going anyway?

Maybe I should go for a hot chocolate before bed.

It’ll be weird not seeing my family for the holidays but I don’t want my mom to worry about me so I made sure to be extra cheerful all the time when she called only ignored her attempts of reaching me like one or two times as I had to study for two last exams and now that I can finally relax the exhaustion seems to catch up to me. I’m fine being on my own, making food and seasonal sweets while I watch tv without any interruptions, sounds like an excellent plan for Christmas, not caring how loud my music is or how bad my singing voice is under the shower.

No family means sweet alone time awaits, no one will tell me to go to sleep and I didn’t need to worry what kind of a present I should purchase at least for a little while.

”Do you remember Seokjin or not Y/N? This conversation will last longer if you don’t cooperate with me.” I can practically see her eye roll directed at me in front of my eyes despite she’s twenty miles away from here, wishful thinking on my part that she’ll let this conversation go if I ask her to stop beating around the bush.

”I don’t know. Maybe?” A fragment of my memory is triggered by hearing his name, and a scenario appears out of nowhere that was a few years ago in Sunha’s second marriage ceremony as I stand in a pastel lavender dress.

Mother was otherworldly happy for Sunha that day she dragged me with her as she chatted away mixing with the guests until we settled down to our table - when the cake cutting took place - that consisted of the bride and groom themselves and close family members like Sunha’s sons and his significant other’s daughter and, of course, my mother and I was present too.

I remember sitting down and just looking ahead aimlessly when I locked gazes with a handsome man his posture was immaculate and he seemed happy for his mother but couldn’t hide how restlessly he fidgetted in his seat, his eyes couldn’t settle watching only one thing, he even looked skittish as he jumped in his seat when the girl sitting on his left tried to catch his attention. Our eye contact lasted less than five seconds and his presence remained for thirty minutes at most as he apologised to her mother and everyone at the table since he had some urgent affairs to attend to.

I probably looked shocked for the reason that mom whispered the words into my ear when he left so suddenly to make sense of things. ”That’s Jin, her eldest son he serves in the army he probably couldn’t get a full day off because of his duties.” After humming in an understanding gesture I fixed my gaze onto the cake slice in front of me.

I remember that man clearly but with purpose, I don’t elaborate further than that, so she doesn’t have the compromitting piece of information to latch onto and make it a bigger issue. She would be elated to know I do remember Kim Seokjin, well, he’s hard to forget in the first place, he smiled only once as his mother hugged him at the table and even if it lasted for less than a second the expression was captivating. Howbeit if she tells me that she organised a date with him I’m going to slam my head to the closest hard surface I can tell. He’s so out of league and dating someone with such a dangerous profession at that, it’s not going to work, doesn’t matter how much I find him attractive and charming.

”It doesn’t matter I guess. You two could get to know each other eventually as he’ll stay at your apartment.” She drops the bomb before disconnecting the call, she doesn’t even wait for my protests this time around. A groan leaves my lips while I look around the house promptly throwing my phone to land on my bed in the means of letting out some of my frustration. I need to get going and make this house presentable again, that hot chocolate needs to wait I guess.

from: unknown number

[7.22 AM] Hi it’s Seokjin. My plane will take off at 9ish can you send me your address?

Grabbing my phone from the kitchen counter I open the message from the unknown number the device almost slips through my fingertips as I rake my eyes over the content hesitant about how to reply I turn to my friend who so generously offered her help to tidy up my living space a little before my unrequested guest arrives. With a broom in her hand, she looks back at my weird facial expression.

”What is it? It’s him?” Gaun asks abandoning her cleaning tools to read the message as well peaking over my shoulder in order to do that. ”He sounds so uptight even in text. Brr.” She shakes her shoulders in simple displeasure that earns an eye roll from me, it’s not that he’ll send hearts when our encounter was years ago for like five seconds. Honestly, I’m surprised that mom and Sunha were able to talk him into this in the first place.

”He’s a soldier Gaun and on the contrary, we don’t know each other he has no reason to be friendly.” Gnawing on my lower lip I click on the message to reply, typing a few lines before I deleted it and rewrote it before hitting send.

[7.34 AM] Hey of course. Call me if you don’t find your way.

[7.34 AM] *google map link attached*

from: Seokjin

[7.35 AM] I will thank you

”Let’s hurry up we don’t have that much time.” I place the phone back on the counter resuming my cleaning and Gaun starts to swipe the floor where she left off all the while I can hear the washing machine work in the distance.

I could feel my heartbeat in the pit of my stomach when the doorbell finally rang and at the other side of the door, there’s Kim Seokjin in all of his glory, that handsome soldier I got a sneak peek at his mother’s wedding wearing a formal suit and tie combo that he pulled of so nicely. I wipe my hands with a towel leaving the leftover plates in the sink as I rush to open the door for him.

”Hi.” I greet him with a friendly smile plastered on my face, I have to tilt my chin upwards to meet his eyes, he’s even taller than I remembered and he’s wearing his military uniform. My hold on the doorknob tightens how unfairly handsome he is with his hair parted in both sides leaving his forehead uncovered his uniform is well fitted and compliments the curves of his waist and thighs the cherry on top is his platform jet black boots that matches with the colour of his hair that I love so much.

A well trained German Sheppard sits near his foot with his tongue out as soon as I crouch down to pet him so focused on the animal that I almost don’t catch Seokjin’s timid ’hello’ in return, the dog’s tail starts to wag furiously seeing my face at his eye level he throws me off balance as he marches forward for more pets.

”I’m sorry he’s not normally like this.” The handsome boy offers a hand to help me up with a sheepish look, I accept the extended hand with a faint blush ignoring the pain that shoots up to my ass because of the impact with the floor. His hand is bigger than mine as it gets fully enveloped in his warm ones.

”Mom didn’t tell me you have a dog,” I chuckle lightly as I pet the dog’s head one last time unsure what to do with my hand that he no longer holds. ”I mean, she didn’t tell me much just told me you’ll come today.” His unique laugh sounded nice ringing in my ears, it made me smile up at him as he playfully shook his head. It’s weird how relaxed I feel around his presence when I was shaking with nerves just moments prior, and I’m still not entirely comfortable with him but his whole aura has a calming effect on my body. I don’t think I’ve ever met with someone that makes me feel so at ease when it’s basically our first meeting.

”Yeah, well, I think we both got played by our mothers.” I have to agree on that one with him. Realising that we’re still standing in front of my entrance I beckon him to come inside stepping out of the way so he could easily slide his luggage beside him his dog’s paws leave imprints on the clean floor but I don’t mind it as he looks so excited about everything inside sniffing and exploring while Jin tries to make him behave scratching his neck when his dog doesn’t seem to listen to a single word.

”Sorry he’s making a mess.” Seokjin apologises seeing the muddy paw marks after connecting our eyes for a few seconds he follows the steps into the kitchen. ”No Cookie that’s not food for you.” The young soldier immediately runs after his companion when he tries to steal the cinnamon rolls from the kitchen counter and I can’t help but laugh at the sight as he scolds the dog.

This is going to be an interesting holiday season I can already tell.

”I can’t believe this fucking jar.” I contemplate to smash it against the counter after spouting several curse words when a hand landed on mine directly on the jar’s lid, I feel Cookie’s fur brush against my exposed leg having enough evidence to know who’s this arm belongs to and I turn around in a moment of weakness. Jin’s hair rests on the top of his head in a messy style sweat dampening the ends.

”Need some help?” His eyes hold a childlike glow in them as he brushes his fingers against mine replacing my digits with his and the lid pops easily in his hands.

I can’t say this display of physical strength doesn’t make him even more attractive in my eyes I barely pay attention to the fact that he stands so close I can feel his chest meet mine as we breathe handing back the opened strawberry jam.

”Thanks.” I hastily turn to avoid his gaze even though that doesn’t offer much advantage as he leans closer pushing his chest against the line of my back watching as my hands spread the jam over the walnut biscuits.

”Want a taste?” Feeling bolder than usual I face him again holding up a finished treat to his mouth, Jin makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat but parts his lips obediently letting me slip the food between his teeth.

”I’ll leave as a stuffed chicken if you keep feeding me these delicious treats.” Despite the indication, he doesn’t seem against the food I offer as he tries to steal one more from the plate but I pull his hand away curling my fingers around his wrist.

”Let me finish before you devour my hard work you pig.” I roll my eyes watching his childlike antics, he seems to take pleasure in riling me up from time to time. It’s been two days since he and his companion Cookie arrived and things just worked out smoothly Jin is a nice person with horrendous jokes but he does help out a lot around the apartment he even fixed my broken ladder so we can decorate the Christmas tree that he insisted we need to purchase when I told him I was not going to go all out and celebrate this year. After all, I was supposed to be here on my own.

He’s so used to training at headquarters that he leaves every morning to run for an hour before he comes back all sweaty and satisfied finding me eating my breakfast or drinking my coffee it doesn’t matter what’s in my hands he always needs to get the last bites from it. He’s really not good for my heart.

”Since you’re doing the sweets how about I make us lunch today?” Jin asks excitedly resting his head on top of mine gently careful not to put too much weight on me, my heart speeds up at the sweet gesture not trusting my words so I nod instead. One of these days I can’t wrap my head around his intentions, he looks so nonchalant as he does things like resting his head on me or patting my knee when we watch tv together with Cookie curled around us on the couch.

”I can’t work like this.” I use the excuse to separate our bodies, is it just me or the kitchen is getting hotter by every passing second, or it’s just my cheeks heating up due to his body moulding perfectly with mine. It doesn’t help either that I remember he’s sweaty under his shirt after his daily exercise smelling nice when he probably shouldn’t have. I busy my hands to glue the biscuits together with the jam moving slightly to the side a little further from Jin’s warm body, he doesn’t say anything else as he decides to leave the kitchen Cookie stays for the sake of finishing his meal before going on a quest to find his owner leaving me behind with my thoughts.

I wrap things up quickly after that, placing the treats in the middle so Cookie can’t reach it and clean up the jam stains before retreating to my room.

It’s a pleasant surprise to check my phone and see that my mom tried to reach me an hour ago, she’s up uncharacteristically early. Too curious to find out what she wants I dial her number without a second thought, it’s been three days that she called and that time she told me Jin will stay at my place until he has to go back to the army. Whenever I think about that a frown seems to climb its way up to my expression I got used to seeing him around the house that I tend to forget he won’t be around when the new year comes and it’s scary to think about how attached I feel to him or rather how lonely I’ll feel once this is all over. He’s a busy man in general and serving under the Military’s name means he can’t be here when I need him, it would be as painful in the long run as a long-distance relationship would be. Not that I assume he’s interested in me that way.

”Hey mom sorry I didn’t hear your call. Is everything alright?” I press my phone to my left ear, closing the door behind with the help of my foot before sitting down at the edge of my bed. Seokjin’s low hum and the sound of pots and pans indicate that he started soon after I left the kitchen, it’s early to start lunch already but Jin is always restless like that.

He needs to find things to do or fix because he gets bored easily, he told me that when I picked up on his punctuality that he always has to move like a clockwork at the base he developed a habit of making use of himself and he needs to constantly do things to keep his restless energy at bay so he can sleep well at night.

He wakes up exactly at six in the morning every day even without setting up his alarm. I think it’s endearing when he thumps his foot absentmindedly even if he’s watching a movie he’s interested in, legs spread wide in a comfortable position on the sofa, his body just never relaxes completely.

”Yes dear I called early to say Merry Christmas to my baby!” I giggle in response hearing her excitement conveyed through her voice. ”I hope you enjoy your Christmas present.” Her tone turned suggestive and my laughter died down, heat rose to my cheeks and my thoughts spiralled to Seokjin’s direction.

”What’s that supposed to mean?” I glance at the door listening for the noises to make sure Jin can’t hear my flustered tone, he’s still in the kitchen and that helps me relax a little until my mom’s knowing hum filled the silence in the conversation.

”Are you getting on well with Jin right? He’s a real sweetheart so treat him nice ok?” Can’t help but all the more agree with her, he’s very considerate and funny, I think he’s the one who’s treating me nice even though I supposed to be the host, he helps out a lot and good company to be around. He sometimes misplaces my things like moving plates to a higher shelf when he knows I can’t reach it there without his help and he cracks terrible jokes that I secretly like very much and Cookie is the apple of my eye already, I think he listens to me more than he listens to Jin at this point (there might be a tiny connection that I often give him special treats during his owner's absence) and I found it hilarious as he sulks on the couch calling his dog a ’traitor’ when he decides to rest his head on my lap instead of Seokjin’s.

Little things like that make me like Seokjin more and more with each passing day.

”I’m treating him just fine mom he said he gained weight since his arrival blaming it on me, don’t worry and enjoy the holidays with dad, after all, it’s the first time that you two could celebrate with just him after so long.”

”Will do darling. I hope you’ll have a wonderful time as well I know that finals were stressing you out so I hope that you are able to relax now.” We deemed the conversation finished after wishing each other happy holidays again and for once I feel like I can mean my words as I feel relaxed around a certain someone.

”Want to place the star on top?” Jin shoved the decoration piece in front of my face whilst I placed food on the coffee table to feast upon as we watch classic Christmas movies until we can’t keep our eyes open since it’s the first day of Christmas.

”I’m not stepping on that ladder you fixed, it looks like a death trap.” Eyeing all the nails and patches on the poor thing.

”If it can hold my weight so can yours.” Jin states the facts, placing the star into my opened palm with a mischievous grin. ”I’ll hold you so don’t be a baby and decorate with me, it’s not as fun doing it alone.” That pout, dangerous and he knows that I can’t possibly say no to that when he asks me so nicely with that adorable full lips of his.

”If I fall I’m dragging you with me, just saying.” I keep our eye contact to get my point across with a meaningless glare, the corners of my lips twitch to morph into a smile hearing his happy chuckles using that moment to turn to the ladder taking the first step up the stair the scent of Jin’s aftershave hit my sensitive nose feeling his hands curve around my hip squeezing my sides to reassure me he’s here to catch me. I can blame my wobbly legs because of the shaky ladder or on my fear of high places but I can’t fool myself that the delicate shake that overpowers my body is because of the excitement I feel as I daydream about his hands on different parts of my body. It feels nice to be held by him.

”Hold on for deer life then.” A fond smile appears on my face hearing him laugh on the pun he just told me, forget my inner turmoil in the meantime placing the star to add the last piece before we declare it’s complete.

I almost can’t mask the look of disappointment I feel when he lets me go once my feet are planted on the ground the star placed on top.

”Told you it’s safe. I’m here to keep you in one piece, sugar.” His hand landing on the top of my head, caressing my hair for the time length of two outdrawn strokes before he lets his fingers fall beside his body to prop around his hips observing the tree with so much excitement that he failed to see my blush due to the pet name that probably just slipped out without any meaning behind it.

”No Cookie it’s not yours love.” I catch him before he can bite a big chunk out of our late night dinner as we’re not paying attention, it created an opportunity for him that he would’ve been foolish to disregard.

”Cheeky pretty thing just like his owner, huh?” It slips out as I pet Cookie’s head kneading the soft short furs around his ears that he knocks our heads together in beaming excitement because of the affection.

”Cookie really likes you Y/N.” The affectionate gaze he looks at me with knocks the air out of my lungs, it sounded like for a split second that he means he likes me too. Wishful thinking I remind myself before looking away clearing my throat to get things started plopping down onto the couch with a big huff leaving my lips.

”I’m starving, get your fat ass over here so we can watch Grinch.” I beam at him acting like his previous comment doesn’t hit hard as I pull my plate closer taking a bite out of the grilled chicken.

”How rude-olf of you!” He fakes his crocodile tears but as his ass hits the fluffy blanket nearly ripping my hot cocoa out of my hands it doesn’t seem like he’s feeling an ounce of hurt over my words. It’s silent for a while as we bash under the Christmas lights our faces illuminated by the tv munching on our food and sweets laid out before us Cookie resting on the rug near our feet.

”It’s been a while since I had such a nice Christmas.” Jin sighs burrowing his face onto my shoulder I can feel his breath fan over my skin the movie is long forgotten as I let his words sink in. Tired to fight the urge I tilt my head to rest it against his the moment appears to be too intimate for strangers let alone friends. ”You smell nice too.” I feel his nose around my neckline turning further into me as he inhales the scent of my hair, maybe it’s because it’s getting late but I let the feelings wash over me.

”Did you drink from my mother’s ’secret Santa’ labelled punch or something? I told you she’s a witch when it comes to alcoholic beverages.” I laugh lightheartedly and Jin follows suit hitting my left thigh when his laugh makes me laugh harder that results in my stomach twisting in pain from all the giggling even so as he starts to tickle me to take his revenge. He manhandles me with ease as he pins my wrists with one hand over my head ticking my torso with the other straddling my hip so he can restrict my squirming under him.

”You’re stronger! That’s not fair Jin.” I whine under his crushing weight, cheeks flushed from the exercise and his close proximity an innocent smile lits up his entire face as he regards me under his form, the Christmas lights are illuminated in his dark orbs creating a pretty image of him. Hair sticking to every questionable direction full lips stretched to house his angelic smile warm radiating from his body so close to mine.

I wish this moment could last forever.

”What are you thinking about?” Tilting his head in question he looks into my eyes with a fierce expression, I gulp not knowing to say the truth or come up with something on the spot. I decided it’s time for the truth.

”That I..” My sentence gets interrupted by Cookie’s barking I haven’t realised that he around the time we were occupied left his spot and watched us with curious eyes. He licked both of our faces as soon as he had the attention and Jin got up from the couch to pet him as Cookie nudged him with his nose to show him his empty bowl.

Maybe it’s a sign that I shouldn’t. Right. What was I thinking? Seokjin is never home he serves the country all the time, married to his work to the extent that he has no time left for himself, he doesn’t have the capacity to form a serious relationship with me and he’s probably not looking for love either.

It’s for the best that we separate after the new year.

I formed a plan after almost confessing my love for him to avoid any other scenarios like this in the future, to be honest, I hated it but there’s no other way for me to get over him quickly even if my heart told me I should enjoy my little time left with him I choose to ignore his attempts at spending quality time with me.

If he asked for a movie night I told him I was busy or tired I took my meals to my room telling him that I need to pick up my studying schedule for the next semester, I had the most ridiculous reasons and I’m sure he figured me out after the second time I dismissed our plans and I can’t say seeing him hurt over my words and futile attempts at lying doesn’t felt like I was stabbed with a dozen knives into my heart.

I should have stopped myself before I got too deep because now I’m hurting both of us even if he’s only mourning for a lost friend.

A scratching noise interrupted the flow of my thoughts I tiptoe all the way to the door looking around before my eyes land on a restless Cookie. He reminds me so much of his owner but he normally stays with Jin I wonder what is he doing here scratching on my door. Is he out perhaps?

”What’s wrong? You seem sad.” I crouch to his level so I can caress his fur and his tail begin to wag instantly when I pull back Cookie grabs my sleeve with his teeth careful not to hurt me before he pulls me out of my room. I try to regain my footing but he pulls me harder until my door shuts behind my back.

”Cookie. What’s up with you suddenly?” I ask him even if I know there’s no reply to wait for I observe his body language before realisation lit up in my round orbs. ”You want me to follow you somewhere sweetheart?” Hearing that he let go suddenly making me lose my balance and collide with the floor cushioning the hit with my butt just like the first time I met him when he nearly run me over with excitement. He tumps his foot as he walks away hardly leaving enough time to catch up to him. He sits down in front of Seokjin’s door, or precisely the guest room he occupies for a short period I remind myself. My eyes soften after noticing it’s his way of showing that he doesn’t want us to part in bad terms. He’s smart.

I take in a deep breath mulling over if I should talk to Jin but looking at Cookie’s hopeful eyes I can’t possibly turn around and ignore this anymore. Jin deserves a better explanation than just accepting the fact one day I ghosted him.

I raise my hand to knock on his door when I hear his voice, he’s talking to someone over the phone since I didn’t hear the front door opening or closing that would mean we have a guest and I don’t think he would invite someone here without discussing it with me, no matter if we are in speaking terms or not.

”I don’t know what happened. I thought we are good but then the next day she didn’t want to do anything with me. I’m confused.” Is he talking about me? To whom? I know eavesdropping is bad but I can’t make my body pull away from the door as I listen intently. I don’t hear what the person from the other side says only Jin’s answers that I’m able to make out as I press my ear to the smooth surface.

”Of course I tried talking to her mom! What if I said or did something that made her hate me? I don’t want to leave like this, we had so much fun. I don’t want it to end this way.” Jin groaned frustratedly while listening to his mom, hearing his voice so worried and tense talking to his loved one about me that knows me very well, I feel ten times worse for ignoring him without giving him an honest explanation.

”I like her mom, but maybe it’s already too late.”

Retreating to my room in sheer panic when he cuts the line to afraid to be caught to rationalise the words I overheard. He likes me too.

All this time I thought that my feelings are not reciprocated whilst in reality I’m just a big coward, I hid behind the fabricated words that his profession is something that doesn’t sit well with me and he has no time to have a girlfriend, but I never tried asking what he wanted. If he wanted to give us a chance or not.

These thoughts plagued my mind until I fall asleep that night, however, tomorrow will be something different.

”Good morning.” I greet Seokjin as he walks out with only his sweatpants on eyes puffy from sleep, he’s so startled by my voice that he jumps at least five centimetres above the ground and the chuckle I let out witnessing his fright confuses him more.

”Uh, good morning.” He replies, at last, passing my form to pull out a mug probably for his morning coffee but I have his fill in my hand while mine is placed on the counter next to my hip. ”The ghost of Christmas visited you last night or something?” Jin watches my form suspiciously but accepting the steaming cup of coffee with a soft ’thanks’ rolling off of his tongue.

”Something like that. Can we talk?” I meet his gaze shyly picking up on my nervous habit as I nibble on my lower lip his eyes soften up.

”Yeah, let’s sit.” He prompts and I nod following his figure to the dining table where we sit on the opposite sides of it. We drink our beverages in peace for a few minutes before I lick my lips nervously opening my mouth to talk.

”I like having you here Jin. This Christmas with you was wonderful even your bad puns are surprisingly funny.” The man in front of me giggles at that, hearing that I had fun with him dismissed some of his insecurities and he looks more relaxed sitting before me sipping on his drink occasionally, waiting.

”I’m sorry for ignoring you it was very childish of me and you deserve an explanation. If I’m being honest you scare me.” His eyebrows shoot up at the mention and I’m eager to make things clear. I don’t want him to take my words literally. ”Or maybe it’s me. I don’t know. But what I do know is that I like you a lot. It scares me because you’re a soldier and you’re never home and I would be so worried wondering about if you are safe.”

”Even if I say all of that I couldn’t make myself to unlike you because you’re funny bad pun or not, caring and affectionate and too good for this world...I just really like you.”

Shying away from his intense stare I choose to observe the rim of my mug watching the dark liquid swirl in my cup when a finger tapped on my chin to look up. The brightest smile adorned Jin’s face that is so close our noses almost touch.

”I normally hate to say that our moms were right all along but right now I’m just glad that they made us spend this Christmas together.” Seokjin’s forehead knocks against mine as we laugh, nodding subtly to avoid more damage as my smile spreads wider I notice how Jin’s eye keeps looking between my eyes and lips and I can’t wait for him to finally reduce the short distance closing my eyes to fully appreciate his finger caressing my jaw, cupping my face letting our breaths entangle for a short second before I get to taste the coffee on his lips.

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darthlorddiamond · 4 years ago

Text

Just a Mistake

Request: Could you do one for Hux were his really into the this girl who's bigger, and she kinda plays hard to get, and something happens that makes her confidence go down, and he tries to help build it up for her? Maybe like a first kiss, or something? No rush, of course. I mean, if your not comfortable writing that, that's fine too. ❤️❤️❤️ for @loveroffandoms16

Words: 2,703

Reading Time: 11 min

Category: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: None

Check my Masterlist for more.

______________________

Just a Mistake

We have known each other for quite some time, although at that time we were just two young students who didn´t know very well what they were doing.

The first time I saw Armitage was at our generation's presentation on day one at the Academy. He was a very quiet and quite serious boy, who found it difficult to have friends. For my part, I was always a person with a very good gift of speech, and many people used to approach me to ask me about the studies or to know my opinion regarding certain topics that we would discuss later in class. It could be said that both, he and I were opposite, however, for some strange reason that I still cannot understand very well, we struck up a rather strange friendship that grew over the years.

Due to my physical complexion, somewhat short in stature, and a little bit curvy, my superiors decided that my work couldn´t develop well on the battlefield, so they dedicated themselves to training me in areas related to the development of military strategies. The truth is that, at first, I was quite in disagreement with the tasks that were being assigned to me, but as the months went by I began to find it quite attractive, while Hux, at being Captain Brendol's son, our teachers had in him very high expectations of leadership and Armitage focused exclusively on demonstrating that he was capable of achieving anything that was put in front him.

During the final year of the Academy, Armitage and I became quite distant, each one focused entirely on getting the positions that each wanted and our friendship was greatly diminished along the way. I must admit, that during our first years at the Academy, Armitage was a kind of platonic love to me, however, I never said anything because I didn't think someone like me would be attractive to someone like him.

After our graduation, we were assigned positions within the First Order in different locations. Armitage began the development of a military base that would outshine the others and I was assigned the Special Strategies Command Center within the Supremacy. The years passed, I never heard from Armitage other than those regarding the advances of the Star Killer Base, so little by little I put aside those nostalgic feelings of the Academy and immersed myself deeply in my work until the day of the conclusion of the Star Killer Base came. All the High Command of the First Order were called to inhabit that cold planet, which would serve as a central military base.

The reception upon our arrival was quite formal, the troops introduced themselves, greeted, we toured the entire base, a small reception was organized inside the Command Bridge, where a few glasses of alcohol and laughter were present, and it was there, in the midst of all the multitude of generals, captains and lieutenants, that I saw him again. He was standing, with his hands behind his back, his impeccable uniform, and his gaze dancing on each of the attendees without saying anything at all.

I felt a hollowness in my stomach, without a doubt the years had been quite good for him. For a moment I stopped paying attention to the talk of the people around me and I fixed my gaze on him, I wanted to speak to him, but I didn't know-how. I could feel a knot in my stomach getting bigger and bigger, so I decided that it would be best to get closer to him to see if he still remembered me in the first place. I was very anxious, the closer I was to him, the more I regretted having made that decision, but my pride would not let me take a step back, I had to.

Once in front of him, I could see how he only lowered his eyes to saw me, and without saying anything, a small smile was painted on my lips, which was replicated in his mouth. After that night, everything in my life changed.

I applied for my permanent transfer from the Supremacy to the Star Killer Base, became a member of the council table, and began to work side by side with Armitage on everything I did: requesting troop training reports, organizing missions and follow up on all matters related to the Resistance. Also, our friendship was recovering, some nights, Armitage would sneak out to my quarters to share a glass of wine and a cigarette, while we remembered, with laughter, our years as cadets.

I must admit that working at the Star Killer Base isn´t an easy thing, the demands of time and responses were much greater than what I was used to, above all, any type of work or communication that was related to Commander Ren was a very tired, especially for Armitage, who after being in some meeting with him ended up exhausted.

As the months went by, our relationship became more and more intimate, we could find comfort in our presence and the truth is that perhaps we only trusted each other. At first, I thought it was my mind playing a joke on me and that the romance I felt for Armitage in our school years was only flourishing again because my imagination, but I could swear that sometimes he had details with me that gradually became closer. I tried to ignore his stares on the Command Bridge, his attempts to hold my hand when we were alone, and even avoided him a couple of times when I felt his face was too close to mine. Part of me wanted to believe that maybe something was happening between us, but another part of my mind swore it was just my mind.

One afternoon, Armitage came into my office with a bunch of papers in hand, which he slowly deposited on my desk. "I have a mission and I would like you to carry it out..." I turned to saw him "A droid, model BB8, is found somewhere on the surface of Takodana..." Armitage began to smoke while I took the papers that he had put on my desk and began to read it "It´s crucial to find and recover it, since it has valuable information on the Resistance” Armitage continued smoking while I continued reviewing the documents “How long do we have to locate it?” I asked him looking askance over the papers "Immediately" at that moment I understood that this mission was linked to the assault of Takodana and Commander Ren, "Perfect, give me a couple of hours to prepare the action plan, as soon as I have it I´ll give it to Captain Phasma so she can prepare the troops" Armitage nodded and got up from his place heading to the door "One more thing..." he turned to look at me "After handing the plan to Captain Phasma..." a beautiful little smile was painted on his lips "Would you like to come to my quarters for dinner?" I let out a small laugh "I don't know, I'm not so sure..." I said with a slightly doubtful tone "Come on, don't be so difficult!" was the last thing he said before leaving my office.

The next morning the mission began in Takodana, the troops had deployed in the way I had organized them. Relatively it had to be a short and simple mission, how difficult could it be to find a droid?

Big mistake, I should never have made so many assumptions.

"It doesn't surprise me in the least that the mission failed..." General Pride got up from his seat in the meeting room and began to walk around the table, I could feel my throat dry and one of my legs began to move without I could control it, Pride's gaze was cold and it was still fixed on me as he continued his tour of the room, I knew what was coming, there was nothing I could do about it.

Slowly Pride came up behind me and held the back of my chair with both hands. "What surprises me, is the fact that we were trusting that someone like you could carry out such a task..." my hands were sweating and I felt a huge hollow in my stomach due to anxiety "What do you mean by someone like me General?" was the only thing I could say, the atmosphere felt tense, I could feel how the gazes of all those present in the room were on me, including Armitage's.

Pride cleared his throat and walked around the room again to position himself in front of me on the other side of the table. "I mean it's obvious that someone like you..." he raised one of his hands to point to my whole body, it was clear what he tried to insinuate "Someone with your physique..." I could feel tears beginning to form in my eyes, but I tried to contain it as best as possible, I wasn´t going to give him the pleasure of humiliating me in that way "Well Captain, someone with your body build has never been in the ground, that's why it's not surprising that the mission failed..." a mocking smile spread across his face as I just clenched my fists under the table "Someone like you only knows what it´s, in theory, a search mission, but you don't know the physical effort involved…” Pride put his hands behind his back.

I felt humiliated, ashamed and somewhat outraged, no one said anything, my stomach ached with rage, with impotence, I felt so much anger that a tear escaped my eyes, Pride was only looking at me from the corner of his eye, savoring every moment "You can retire Captain, it's time for the true men of combat to talk about how to solve your error” I didn´t wait a single second more, I immediately got up from my place and left that room.

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to go. To my office? No, I needed to be alone, so, even though my workday was not over yet, I immediately went to my quarters, once the door was closed, I burst into tears - Someone like me... - I couldn't stop listening to the words of Pride in my head. I felt dirty so I got undressed right away and walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

The water in the shower helped me a little to dull the sound of my sobs. I´m so stupid! How could I think someone like me could perform a task like that!? I failed, not just to the First Order and Commander Ren, but Armitage, who was the first to trust me to do this task. I didn't know what to do, I was completely heartbroken. How is it that someone like me had gotten to where I was; how is it that the troops could trust someone like me; how is it that someone... How is it that Armitage... How could he look at someone like me?

Several weeks have passed since that terrible meeting. The only way I found to feel a little better and alleviate my supposed "incompetence" was to isolate myself from everything and focus exclusively on my work, I spent days and nights locked in my office without paying attention to anyone. My self-esteem was shattered, so I unconsciously started eating less and showing up late at night in the training room, away from the eyes of others, away from their criticism, their comments on my appearance.

As the days went by with my self-destructive routine, my body began to feel the consequences, I felt more tired than normal due to the demands of work and training that I was carrying out, I could see that big dark circles had begun to mark under my eyes and the usual rosy color on my cheeks was gone. On several occasions I had run into Armitage in the corridors of the base, however, I had completely ignored him, I didn´t dare to face him, I felt quite ashamed for having failed him in the mission, but I felt a thousand times worse for having thought that something existed between the two of us.

One of the many nights that I was in my office the door opened. In silence, but with a sure step, Armitage approached my desk and remained standing there for a couple of minutes, it was obvious that he was waiting for me to say something, ask something or do something, but I couldn't, I was completely frozen, I felt too nervous to say anything, I felt embarrassed enough to even see him.

"This is enough..." he said, almost like a whisper "You have been locked in this office for weeks without eating or sleeping well..." my gaze was fixed on the desk, while he advanced around it until he reached where I was sitting, I was feeling very nervous, what could I say to him? "You've been avoiding me for weeks..." I immediately turned to see him, my mind had made up an idea where we would eventually have to talk, but I always thought that when that moment would come he would complain about the failed mission, not about us "Armitage, I'm so sorry..." a couple of tears escaped my eyes "I never thought that Takodana's mission was to..." his body leaned quickly over mine, his hands gripped the armrests of my seat and his lips landed on mine.

The force of his kiss was so explosive that I couldn´t do anything to avoid it, his lips were so soft and his movements showed a kind of domination over me. I completely lost myself in the moment, the only thing I wanted at that instant never end "I don't give a damn about Takodana..." he whispered on my lips before kissing me again. He raised one of his hands to hold my the back of my neck and deepen the kiss, a fact that made me moan a little giving him access to my mouth, which he began to explore with his tongue. After a couple of minutes, we both left to get some air.

His face had drawn a blush almost the color of his hair, his eyes were still fixed on mine, while the hand that held my neck began to gently caress my cheek "Armitage, I never thought..." I stammered a little, I wasn´t sure it had happened that it just occurred "How is it that someone like you could fixate on someone like me..." I lowered my gaze to the ground, Pride's words were still present in my head.

Armitage brought his hand to my chin to lift my face, a couple more tears were present, he slowly approached me "I don't..." he kissed my lips "care anything..." he kissed one of my cheeks "about what..." he kisses my forehead "the others say..." he kissed my lips again, prolonging his touch a little more than normal. Recharging his forehead with mine, a smile played on my lips as I felt the warmth of his breath brushing my face and flooding my chest with a feeling of excitement and happiness like never before.

I jumped up from my seat and pounced on him, our bodies were completely united while his arms surrounded me and mine clung to his neck. I buried my face in his chest and Armitage covered the top of my head with kisses, we stayed like that for a few minutes until he broke that comfortable silence "How about we continue this in a more comfortable place..." I raised my face to look at him "We could go to my quarters, if that's okay with you" I drew a smile on my lips and moved my body a little away from his, without breaking our embrace, raising an eyebrow and with a slightly playful tone I replied, "I don't know, I'm not so sure ..." Armitage gave a small laugh and came closer to kiss me again "You really like to play hard" he whispered on my lips as I could feel a smile on his face.

#general hux #general hux x reader #general hux imagine #general hux smut #general hux x reader smut #star wars smut #general hux fluff #general hux x you #armitage hux #armitage hux x reader #armitage hux imagine #armitage hux smut #armitage hux fluff #armitage hux x you

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summahsunlight · 4 years ago

Text

All For You, Part 10

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.6k+

Pairing: Poe Dameron X Pilot!Reader

Summary: Your life in the Resistance was not easy, being married to Commander Poe Dameron and a skilled pilot yourself. When you unexpectedly get pregnant, your life is forever changed. Raising a child on base is hard, but never having parents of your own as a child, you are determined to love your little girl and give her the best life. Poe is equally as devoted to you and your daughter, vowing to keep you both safe from the impending threat of the First Order.

Taglist: @thescarletknight2014, @elmoakepoke, @xxidontwikeitxx, @liadamerondjarin, @marvelofwitch, @blushingwueen, @april-14-blog, @agents-assemble, @paintballkid711, @softly-sad, @badbitxhbuckybarnes

Taglist is still open! Just let me know if you want to be added! I haven’t really proof-read this, I just really, really, really wanted to get some out there to you guys! Happy reading🥰❤️

Kes Dameron might have been a large man but you knew him as one of the most gentle souls in the galaxy. It did not surprise you that he melted instantly upon meeting his granddaughter. Emmy seemed completely at ease in her grandfather’s arms. “You forget how tiny they really are,” he said with a smile, his warm eyes filled with absolute affection for the little one he held. “I might be biased because I’m her grandpa--but she is the most beautiful baby in the entire galaxy.”

Poe chuckled, noticing that Emmy’s feet popped out of the swaddle. He leaned over and gently tucked them back in. “It’s okay to be biased--you’re her grandpa.” But, if Poe was honest, he agreed with his father--Emmy was the most beautiful baby.

You glanced at your husband and father-in-law doting over that small baby, and you smiled to yourself. Growing up you had never felt even an ounce of the love those men had for your daughter--you knew right then and there that she was not only the most beautiful baby but also the most fortunate baby in the galaxy.

Emmy began to get fussy and you realized that it was time to feed her. Taking her from her grandfather, you went to a more private place to give Emmy her lunch, leaving Poe and Kes alone for a few moments.

“So, she hasn’t changed her mind,” Kes said once you were out of earshot.

“No,” Poe said, shaking his head.

“Even as the Republic falls apart?”

“She insists that we should raise Emmy.”

Kes ran a hand over his face. He’d had these conversations with Shara--he never imagined his own son was going to have these same conversations. “A military base is no place for a baby, Poe.”

Poe sighed. He knew that, he’d been fighting with you since you told him you were pregnant about this. He was exhausted of having this fight. “I know, Dad, she just doesn’t want Emmy to feel abandoned--or unloved.”

His father smiled, sadly, at that. “There is no chance in hell that the little is ever going to feel unloved. According to the Princess, she was quite upset that her father was away for a few days.”

“Had her mother thinking she hated her.”

“No chance of that happening.”

“I told Y/N that--she wouldn’t listen to me.”

You returned then with the baby, slightly fussy in your arms. “Poe. I tried to put her down for a nap--it doesn’t matter if I sing that damn song to her--she just wants you.”

Poe stood up and gathered the fussy little girl into his arms. “Come on, Emmy, we talked about this,” he cooed at her as he made his way to her crib. “It’s okay when Mommy puts you down for a nap, her voice isn’t that bad.”

Kes laughed, softly, at the glare you threw his son. However, there was no denying that Poe’s warm timber when he sang was easing your daughter to sleep. In no time Emmy was sound asleep in her crib, making soft mewing noises while she slept.

And that’s when the commlink went off, summoning both you and Poe to command. You anxiously looked at the baby, sleeping, How could you leave her?

“Go on,” Kes said, assuringly. “I can watch her. I raised Poe didn’t I?”

“Kes, are you sure?”

“Sweetheart! She’ll be fine! Let’s go!”

Before you could even say a word, Poe had pulled you out of your quarters. “Poe! I can’t leave her, she’s only a few days old!”

Poe chuckled as you quickly were dragged behind him. “She’s been fed, changed, and is napping. She might not even know that we left. Besides, my dad is there. He knows how to take care of a baby. She’s in good hands.”

You felt a lump forming in your throat. “It’s not that, this is the first time we’ve both been away from her! What if she thinks we left her behind? What if she thinks we’re not coming back?”

He stopped and turned to look at you, seriously. “Oh baby, she’ll learn quickly that we’ll always come back to her, that we haven’t left her behind and we certainly didn’t leave her behind all alone.”

Sniffling, you nodded your head. “I...I know... it’s just...it’s hard, Poe. My parents never came back for me and they left me all alone.”

Catching the tears that fell from your eyes with his thumbs, Poe pulled you in for a quick hug, a quick reminder that you were loved now and not alone. And, as you began to make you way towards command once again, you knew that neither was Emmy.

-------

Leia kept Poe behind after the briefing. Poe figured it was because she wanted to assign him another mission--it wasn’t.

“Your father is worried,” the General said. “He doesn’t think the baby should stay here.”

“Yeah, I know,” Poe sighed, heavily. “But I can’t convince her to let him take Emmy back to Yavin.”

She understood, she knew your past--Leia nodded, solemnly. “I told your father that I allow the baby to stay here as long as it’s safe--right now there is no indication that the First Order even knows where our base is. But, if things were to change, Commander, Emmy needs be brought to safety.”

He set his jaw and agreed. Poe would be the first one to tell you that Emmy needed to go if things were ever to get so out of hand that her safety was in jeopardy. “I’ll fly her there myself, General.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Leia smiled at him, gently. Everyone on the base had fallen in love with the baby, herself included, and she��didn't want to be the one responsible for anything happening to that child. “Wish I could promise I didn't need you for anymore missions.”

Poe shrugged. “Comes with the job, ma’am. I know that Emmy doesn’t understand it now, but someday she will, someday she’ll understand that I’m doing this for her.”

She was touched by his intense love and devotion to his daughter; it only made her long for her own son. Clamping down on her emotions, she reached out and pat Poe on the arm. “I think she will, Commander.”

“I never knew I could love someone so much until she was born.”

“Your parents said the same thing when you were born.”

“They did?”

“Oh yes, just before you went to live with your grandfather.”

Poe cast his eyes downward, looking at his scuffed boots. He recalled his mother saying they fought because people were suffering, his father often told him he fought so his son wouldn’t have too--Poe wondered what Shara would have to say now. His father had apologized plenty of times that they didn’t do enough. “My parents wanted a better galaxy for me--I want the same for Emmy.”

Leia gently pat him on the back before ordering him to go spend time with his father. Poe tossed her a small smile and was gone. Sighing, she turned and looked out the window of her office. She wanted a better galaxy for that baby as well.

------

Kes stayed for three more days.

Emmy seemed to enjoy being held by her grandfather just as much as she did by her father and you concluded it was because they both threw off so much body heat that she was nice and snuggly warm. Poe scoffed at the idea; Kes laughed.

It was harder saying good-bye to Kes then you originally believed it was going to be. You had half-expected him to come here and demand that you send Emmy back to Yavin with him, but Kes had kept silent. It wouldn’t be until much later that you found out that it was Poe that had convinced his father not to say anything.

After Kes had said his good-byes, and made you both promise to take care of his granddaughter--he boarded a transport and headed home.

Poe was uncharacteristically quiet after his father left.

You didn’t question him about his silence until after Emmy was in bed for the evening. “Are you okay, Poe?”

“Guess I’m just sad that we aren’t on Yavin.”

“What do you mean?”

Sighing, Poe glanced at you with sad eyes. “I just pictured us settled down on Yavin when we eventually had kids. This isn’t what I wanted for either you or Emmy.”

You went and sat on the bed with him, snuggling into his embrace once he opened his arms to you. “How can you say that? Home isn’t always about where you rest your head but the people you’re with. As long as we’re together, as a family, we’re home, Poe.”

Taking a deep breath, Poe closed his eyes. “Promise me, sweetheart, when the time comes, when it’s too dangerous for Emmy to be here, that you’ll take her to Yavin--that the two of you will go someplace safe.”

“Poe--.”

“Don’t argue with me. Please. Just promise me.”

“Why are you insisting that I promise you this?”

“Because, I would never forgive myself if something happened to you, to Emmy. So please, please, just promise me.”

You saw the pain that flashed across his features as his eyes opened and he looked at you, desperately. Your heart broke; he just wanted the best for you and for your daughter. Your fingers ghosted along his strong jaw as you let out a gentle sigh. “I’ll promise you this... if you promise me to always come back to us.”

He rested his forehead against yours. You had no idea that he’d already promised Emmy last night that he would always come back--so he made that same promise to you now. “I will always come back to you, sweetheart. Always.”

Running your fingers through his soft curls, you sighed. Even if they were hollow promises, you both felt better and slowly drifted off to sleep together.

#star wars fanfiction #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #star wars imagine #poe dameron #all for you #200 followers celebration

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yodamn · 4 years ago

Text

Comfort

This is something I just thought up, enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------

Thank God for your parents. Them having other children after you gave you the perfect amount of experience to handle the situation you were in. Your younger brothers, specifically, have helped you unknowingly.

There in front of you stands a Clone. But not just any clone. Marshal. Commander. Cody. THE Marshal Commander Cody. You aren't one of his brothers, you're just an officer delegated to Communications and occasionally getting one very finicky control console to work who, despite not being sentient, only works for you. Thanks Dad for teaching me some of your Mechanical Know-How. But anyway...

Marshal Commander Cody. SIC to General Master Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi. A highly skilled man. Trained to be able to take droids, or people, down extremely easily. Even though some people look down on clones not ONE person can say something bad about Cody in front of his face. Hes intimidating. He commands respect from COUNTLESS clones and he.

Hes got the same look your little brother gets after a really bad day at school.

Eyes glazed with just enough water to seem wet but not to the point of tears, blank stare through time and space. His posture isnt different but he probably is used to having to hide in his helmet. The ever so slight quiver of his bottom lip, most people wouldnt even notice. But you do. You always do. Its the exact same expression. And you can read it like a book. That faces says that he really just wants to be hugged tight and told its gonna be okay and go to sleep but hes not gonna ask for it. Hes hiding it well but youre used to seeing the signs. Sometimes your little brother, Gil, doesnt know how to ask when he needs help. He pushes people away. And your parents do their best, but they've got four other kids and their jobs, they don't catch everything. So then it becomes big sister to the rescue. Who had the time, patience, and energy to help.

And it seems like noone else notices whats happening to the Marshal Commander. You pay attention to the briefing of course but also keeping an eye on Cody. After the briefing youre just close enough to hear Cody dismiss himself as well, saying that he needed to get some work done. At that the plan is set into action. First stop? The Officer Lounge. You grab a cup of caf and put a lid on it. You stop by the officer barracks and grab the nice blanket your mom sent in a care package and swiftly continue towards the Clone Barracks.

There are horror stories told about the Clone Barracks by officers. That they'll eat you alive. That once a new recruit wandered in and was never seen again. Stupid things. But that doesnt mean walking into a hallway of barracks where you really stick out isnt scary. Their gazes are burning into you at all angles, curiosity, confusion, the occasional glare. You finally found the Commanders door. Looking both way you knock first. No answer. You know hes in there because the light of the pad beside you is on. Indicating someone is inside. You knock twice more with the same result. A sigh leaves your lips and you weigh your options.

Open the door yourself and possibly get yelled at. Potentially invade his privacy. Or leave and forget any of this happened. The second option seems more appealing. But then you remember why you came. Seeing his face in your memory. The look of pain in his eyes. Seeing your little brother in him, despite the commander being three times his size and much more intimidating than your dorky little brother. Taking a deep breath to steele yourself you gently and slowly open the door. Hes sitting on his bed. Head in his hands. In the dark. Just like Gil. And a gruff voice calls out.

"What do you want"

"Commander Cody?"

Apparently not the voice he was expecting because his head shot up.

"Can I help you? Is there something you need? I'm sure that-" you cut him off with a wave of your hand.

"No! No I dont need anything, its just," you sighed, no going back, "At the briefing today you seemed a little off, I thought you might need a little pick me up?" You offered with the still hot caf held out to him.

"I brought you some caf, and my extra blanket, its weighted and it always helps me so if you wanna borrow it..." You trailed looking away and then back to see him still staring at you.

"But! Thats-thats only if you want to, you dont have to I just, it helps me and I wanted to..." you stuttered and rambled while flailing your own free hand around.

"Thank you"

You stopped and stared at the man. The look was back. And oh how it hurt.

"I-Thank you, that's very thoughtful" Cody furrowed his eyebrows and scratched the back of his head. You extended the caf to him again, he took it and just held it in his hands.

"How-how did you know? How could you tell?" He asked, oh so softly. Running a hand down your cheek you gesture to the bed next to him and he nods and scoots over.

"Uh, well" you start and sit on the cot, you place the blanket down next to him and think back to Gil, "I'm the oldest of 5 kids in my family, and my parents try their best. But they dont always catch everything, what with having five kids and my mom and dad own a business and other family issues" you explain.

"Sometimes I step in to help, I dont have to. But I care, and they are important to me", you smile thinking about your younger siblings. Your parents were always so adamant about you not having to help. But at one point your grandfather got sick, had to come live with you. You wanted to step in to alleviate the stress. You lean back against the metal walls and looked at Cody.

"And you, sir", knocking your hand against the plastoid of his armored arm you shift to fully face him, "You had the same face that my little brother makes when hes had a really tough day and just wants to talk about it"

Cody chuckled taking a sip from the caf.

"Sorry if its not all that good, its just the caf they supply officers and I also dont know how you like your caf so..."

"No, no its fine, thank you" he whispers, he's so tired. You can see it in the way his eyelids flutter. "I can't really talk about what I do, it's confidential" hes slouching where he sits, soon you can see his head slightly bopping up and down. Resisting the pull of sleep.

"That's fine, you dont have to" you reassure patting him on the arm, you lightly rub your thumb in the crease between the armor and his blacks.

"Can you tell me about yourself then? Whats your favorite caf? Do you like bolo-ball?" You ask quietly, you move to sit in front of him on the floor. By slowly lowering your voice you should be able to get Cody to relax and fall asleep, it works for your. The big commander humms and slowly explains that he likes his caf with sugar but never can find any so he drinks it black mostly. He, like most of the clones, are loyal to the Corosaunt team. His voice getting softer and softer with yours as he went on. You hummed sweetly and looked at his armor. That can't be comfortable to sleep in.

Tapping your finger on his knee plate, and unfortunately reeling him back out of the sweet embrace of sleep. You ask if you can remove his armor, following that you didn't have to if he didn't want you to . Cody nods drowsily and croaks a yes out. You perch on your knees and begin to fumble with his leg armor.

"Please Cody, tell me more about Waxer and Boil" you prod gently while slipping your fingers into the magnetic locks. You had a nurse friend who had often had to remove armor from the clones due to them being unconscious. He had complained about how sometimes the locks would stick and explained how to get them unstuck. Not that you needed to know at the time, but it was useful right now.

Cody rambled on about Waxer and Boil and how sometimes Obi Wan would loose his lightsaber in battle.

He pouted, "Its rich because he always, always says 'The lightsaber is your life' to Skywalker..."

You giggle and stand up, he sighs and goes to lay back on the bed. Drunk in exhaustion. You had removed most of his armor, him removing things you couldn't.

He inhales and looks back at you, having sat back down next to the head of the bed. Cody lets out a sigh and continues to ramble, at this point his words are getting mixed up and jumbled. He had begun to explain how he got upset at all the paperwork he had to do and battle plans to make and military personnel to kiss up to, but you stopped him.

"Thats confidential remember?" You whispered, brushing a stray hair away.

"Thas right, you" he clumsily pointed up to you, "youre a good person"

Smiling you grab his hand and bring it to lay on his chest, "Thank you Cody, so are you" you softly pet his hand.

He turns onto his side and ever so slowly you see him slip into a peaceful sleep. You stand and lightly laid your blanket over him. It was muscle memory. Remembering all the times your parents had to work late or were focused on helping a sibling or relative that was sick and you had to put the others to bed. You tucked Cody in and gingerly lifting his head to move his pillow under him. After making sure he was covered you laid a kiss on his temple. Youre eyes snapped open and you tensed your back.

Why did I do that? You looked down at the man and he was still peacefully sleeping. Shaking your head you sighed, stupid muscle memory. You moved the cup of cold caf further on the nightstand next to his bed just incase her flailed an arm and he knocked it over. You brushed hair from his eyes once more before moving towards the door. Opening the door just enough for you to slip thru you turn down the lights and leave, shutting the door on your way out. Turning you bump into Obi Wan.

"Oh! Im so sorry General" You quietly stutter before moving past him.

"Oh please, I shouldnt have snuck up on you" he assures, "I must say thank you though, I noticed what you did"

Flushing you nod and continue out of the barracks.

The next day you wake up and go through all your duties. You had to make the control console work three times because it decided today wasnt a good day. Some shiny bumped into you in the mess, spilling all your food over you. You had assured him it was fine. All of your clothes were dirty so you had to continue the day with slightly gravy soaked clothes. Over all the day wasnt very good, and you just wanted to go to sleep.

You walk into the Officer barracks stripping down your uniform and tossing it. You washed all of the sticky feeling off of you, changed, and went to just pass out. Once you reached your bunk you see a piping hot caf on the nightstand and her blanket folded on her bed. Laying neatly on the blanket was a card. Opening it showed a simple message.

'Thank you, if you ever need anything dont hesitate to let me know

- Marshall Commander Cody'

You smile and curl up on your bed with the caf and your blanket. You can tell this is the begining of a beautiful friendship.

#clone wars #star wars #clone troopers #the clone wars #commander cody x reader #commander cody

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neverendingstories00 · 4 years ago

Text

Past The Point Of No Return (Ch.3)

Summary: Safin takes you on a tour of your new home and offers an interesting proposition.

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: n/a

A/n: Guys, sometime needs to take my labtop away. Safin is 100% going to be the death of me. I cannot stop thinking about this pyscho man PLEASE rearrange my guts. Anyways, school is starting for me tomorrow (today since i’m posting this at like 2:30am). I’ll try and get Ch.4 out asap since that’s where the drama is gonna rise. Also, thank you for all the support and comments! I’m gonna respond to them all tomorrow, I promise. I love ya’ll and enjoy the story!! ❣️❣️

Previous Chapter | Masterlist

Three days had gone by. You refused to leave your room after Safin’s temper tantrum. Three days in isolation weren’t the worst thing in the world even if you had no idea where you were. The room Safin had given you was elegant and bigger than your old flat. It was like if Japanese Zen had met modern times. A living room with endless books and plants connected to a bedroom and large bathroom. You felt like you were in a fancy hotel. Inside of the bathroom was a freestanding club that outlook a rock garden. Of course, you had tried to break the glass or crawl out one of the closet vents, but everything had been locked shut. At one point, you had felt the room had been made just for you (which it probably had been). Safin must have had a lot of time on his hands to be able to construct it. The books that were on the shelves were the same books you owned a home, the candles were all lavender and cherry blossom, and even the small amount of clothes he had offered and gotten your sizing in were accurate to your taste. It was oddly amiable, but alarming that he knew so much about you.

As you finished making your Feng Shi bed, you heard a gentle knock at the door. With years in the military, you had recognized footstep patterns. Safin had light but quick footsteps, his boots always making a clicking noise.

“Good morning Y/n.” He says, his cold accented voice slightly muffled behind the door. “I wanted to come and apologize for my uncivilized manner a few nights ago. I didn’t realize that you would be in such a sensitive state. I believe adjusting to new surroundings can be quite difficult. The way I acted certainly didn’t help with that. I did not mean to frighten you.”

Rolling your eyes, you didn’t even want to respond. If you could survive on your own in the wilderness for a month, then you could survive in a lavish bedroom in the middle of god no’s where until-

Oh right. There weren’t coming.

“It truly bothers me that you feel the need to isolate yourself in that room.” Safin. Instead of sounding condescending, he seemed genuine and even beseeching. “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink.”

“I’m fine, thank you though.” You coldy reply, seeing it as a facade. Safin was an anarchist, insane and cruel. “You’re a solid actor though, I’ll give you that.”

Safin sighs but doesn’t give in to anger or defeat. “For what I did to you, you have every right to upset at me. I’m upset at myself. I’m sorry for scaring you into isolation, my dear. It was not my intention.”

You refuse to respond, crossing your arms as you hear him let out a loud sigh. Safin looks at the nearest object to throw in frustration but stops himself for her.

“Y/n, I need you to understand that under no circumstance, that I will ever hurt you. You are a resident, not a prisoner. I want to show you my..” He freezes. It’s not a home, it’s a lair. But for y/n’s sake, it was there home. “I mean, our home. It will be short, and I will get you something to eat. After that, I will not bother you if you accompany me for just one hour.”

Two sides of you were battling with each other. The younger and more stubborn part of you wants to say a snarky remark and tell him to kindly fuck off. But the wiser and more calm side of you says that your starving and need to get out. You don’t sympathize with his actions and hate him more than anything in the world. The man threatened to hurt your friends and family if you didn’t obey his commands. But If he was going to hurt you, then why hasn’t he killed you yet? What was the point of keeping you there, knowing that you could possibly kill him with anything? Safin has stalked your whole life, from your clothing sizes to your military history.

You freeze as your fingers fiddle with each other. Letting the villain win always bothered you. But he offered you food and freedom for an hour. He had better kept to his promise. Looking at the door, you break the silence. “I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

He responds, “Take your time.”

Walking over the closet, you look at the outfits organized by monotone colors. Everything seemed the same as you searched for something that wasn’t oversized on you. Eventually, you came down to wearing a black turtleneck, light grayish blue kimono jacket, and olive peg pants with black boots. The clothes were oddly comfortable and looked more expensive than your shitty flat. You hated wearing tight and revealing clothes, so it was doable. Looking in the mirror before you leave, you see your eyes. They’re tired from crying and sleepless nights. Your body had no energy as your stomach rumbled and throat thirsted for water. The last person you wanted to see was Safin, but you truly had no choice.

Opening the door, you see him standing in front of it with a straight posture and hands behind his back. A subtle smile appeared on his face, seeing you walk out.

“You look lovely, y/n.” He compliments as you walk side by side. He thought you could pull anything off and still looking amazing. You looked at him and nod, a silent response of “thank you”.

As you walk down the hallway, Safin noticed y/n limping more than walking. He made sure Serrano and his men had there asses yelled at. They had done everything they weren’t supposed to do; treat you like an animal, hurt, and embarrass her. No wonder y/n hated him, he thought she was going to be a prisoner or some toy for Safin to fiddle around with. As much as Safin yearned for her beauty, he saw her talent and intelligence. She would be useful in many ways.

In an attempt to be a gentleman, he held his arm out for her for support. Y/n, being the woman she was, silently and polarity declined this offer. Safin found it darling that she was so stubborn, refusing the help of others even if she needed it. Seeing you limp and silently groan made Safin’s stone cold heart drop. He wouldn’t be a gentleman if he didn’t help this sweet, little y/n. In a devilish move, Safin tucked his arm under her hand, linking them both. Her clutched fist dangled in his tight hold, wanting to resist. Seeing her [y/s/c] burn up, Safin softly smiled at her. She eventually gave him as her fist unclenched, softly leaning onto him.

The hallways were long and large, lit by hidden lights. From what you could tell, it seemed like an abandoned Russian military site that had been reconstructed by Safin. It was all concrete and void of any color or life. The Architecture was Raw, brutalist, extraordinary. Taking you up a dark hallway, Safin showed you a bright hallway, full of mustard yellow art. Leading you under a dark tunnel, it revealed a large, empty room. In the middle of the room was a large low black table with cushions, and that was it. On the sides were rock gardens full of shrubs and bamboo. You could hear a running river disconnect the gardens from the concrete gray floor. A few guards stared at you for linking arms with Safin. Seeing them whisper made you look down. Safin had noticed and looked at the men, who had fear in there eyes as they stood straight.

Safin explained that his room was where he and Serrano (or other co-workers in his words) would discuss their ordeals. He saw the light in y/n’s slowly disappear, seeing her thoughts run to something else. There wasn’t really much to show considering that Safin was the only man who inhabited the submarine pen. The soldiers and Serrano resided on another part of the island. He didn’t want to bore y/n but wanted to make sure she was adjusted with her new home.

“Are you enjoying everything, my dear?” He asked, Y/n looked up and nodded in response. She looked exhausted and upset, trying to hide it. Her once glowy [y/s/c] skin was turning lifeless and grey. Safin could see that you were miserable and depressed. He knew being trapped in the submarine pen wasn’t ideal, he had been doing it for years and was ever so alone. Having the company of a woman was something he desired more than anything. Over the years his man had brought him women, but they refused to lay with because of his scars. Safin hated seeing the once joyful and bright light he saw in you.

No words came out of your mouth. You once again nod in response, forcing a faked and sad smile. Safin heart breaks seeing you so silent and upset. His grasp tightens on your arm, to squeeze some reassurance into your dying soul.

“My dear, please speak to me.” He gently cooed, looking into her [y/e/c] orbs.

“I’m fine, just please continue…” You sigh in frustration.

Not knowing what to say, Safin simply continues. It had been years since he had touched or even been close to a woman. Having you here with him was a dream come true. He hated having you sleep all by yourself that was in the opposite quarters of him. All he could imagine was y/n’s soft cries into her pillow from giving up on life. He knew what would hopefully cheer you up. Walking up a spiral staircase, Safin opened the door for you to exit. Upon exiting, you were greeted with a beautiful view. Safin allowed you to walk to the edge to admire the breathtaking view. Not one cloud was in the bright, blue sky. The top of the submarine pen was covered in the island’s rich plants. You truly were in the middle of nowhere, you could have been in the Medaterrian or off the coast of Africa. The Island was so beautiful on the outside, yet so depressing and ugly on the inside. The sun shined onto your skin as you felt the gentle breeze through your hair.

You stand on the edge, seeing that the only island in the distance was you. You were surrounded by miles of water, along with the world’s most feared Anarchist. “It’s so..”

“Breathtaking.” He breathed, standing right behind you. You turn around, somewhat scared by how close he was. Your [y/e/c] met with his milky orbs. His face was grey and dark, his sleek black hair, and dark navy clothes were so dark except for his eyes. He had an usual and exotic face. But his eyes were beautiful and mesmerizing. “Just like you, my dear.”

You huff, rolling your eyes. What had been a nice moment turned into Safin trying to subtly flirt, or so that’s what you thought. “Can you please call me y/n?”

A small frown appeared on Safin’s arms. He’s confused about why you don’t enjoy his attention. “Why not, my sweet?”

“Because I’m not your partner,” You clarify. The way those words rolled over his lips made you squirm and your cheeks burn.

“Whatever you say, my little dove.” He smiles, holding you close. A disgusted “ugh” escapes from your mouth. The time you had outside makes you feel somewhat better. Feeling the sun and wind against your skin felt so normal in your little fucked up world.

Safin tried to pull you closer to him, but you pull away. Even if he was trying to be a “gentlemen’, he was still an anarchist who wanted to kill millions and overthrow the government. All you knew was that you weren’t going to fall in love with him, ever. You shrug him off, looking away from him.

“How did you find this place?” You ask to break the silence.

“Me and Serrano discovered this place when I had left Spectre,” He explains, looking around the gardens before back at y/n. “It was an abandoned communist Submarine Pen. Nobody inhabited it, so I simply took it as my own. I was based in Okinawa before I denounced, so I took slight inspiration from the gardens.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Denounced Spectre?”

“One of my targets resurfaced, a young woman. A woman who I spared...who I loved,” Safin stated, “I had let them go and let them live a comfortable life. She promised herself to me, but loved another man...and birthed his child when she was mine. Spectre wanted her alive, I wanted her and her whole family dead. When they didn’t let me kill all of them, I killed every agent I could. All of them.”

Chills had been sent down your spine. When Safin didn’t get his way, he used violence. You never knew Spectre’s downfall, but all along it had been his man. No wonder Bond was able to take them down; it was all because Safin had practically murdered half of them in a rage since he couldn’t kill his ex-lover’s family. Your thoughts began to race. If you didn’t do as Safin pleased, would he truly kill you? Who could have ever loved someone such as Safin? Too many questions came to your mind.

“So, that’s what you do.” You noted, raising your eyebrows. “Kidnap women and force them to fall in love with you?”

Safin’s face scrunches up with anger, “No, she was different. She was a whore. I never hurt her. I spoiled her and loved her. She betrayed me. But you...” He looks at you with his expressions softening. “Are different. Out of all the women I have encountered, you y/n...are different.”

“That’s all you men come up?” You snort, staring right into his eyes. “Say that were different and then only use us for our bodies? You’re different, Safin. If you don’t get what you please, you act out. You use violence and kill.”

Safin looked at y/n, seeing the smirk on her face. She knew how obsessed he was with her, the anarchist obsessed with the cyrptographer. Safin had no intention of killing you and couldn’t bring himself to kill the woman he was madly in love with. Instead of becoming upset, he saw through you. All y/n was doing was poking the bear, refusing to give into Safin. Safin knew her antics all too well.

“Your hands are not clean either, y/n,” He debated. “Three hundred and thirteen men is a large kill count for such a young woman…”

In your short time in the military, you had achieved one of the highest kill counts in your ranking. Everyone knew you as the girl who never missed. From surviving alone in Serbia and crawling out of building rubble in Iraq, you were respected and feared. But that had been in the past when you still were young and had sanity. Now you were older, wiser, and even more broken. The military had changed your life drastically.

Safin truly knew how to dig under your skin and make you upset. He wanted to see you weak and feel stronger. You refused to let him. A small voice in your head kept telling you, “ Don't play his game. Play yours.”

“ Safin, you’re the most accomplished stalker I’ve ever met” You chuckle. He’s oddly smiling like nothing was wrong.

“A beautiful bird cannot freely fly in a cage.” The anarchist response, a small smile on his face. He relinked your arms as you walked back inside of the submarine pen.

Safin saw y/n, once acting up again. Seeing her make small “hmphs” and look away softly made Safin chuckle. He kept telling himself that with time, she would fall in love with him. Y/n was a young and stubborn woman who didn’t go down without a fight. Once Safin had her, he wasn’t going to let her go. Y/n was all Safin’s now. All the anarchist ever desired was to have company in his lonely lair. Not only someone to love but someone he could talk to and even work with. Y/n was the woman of his dreams who he had yearned for. She had to fall in love with him. She didn’t have another choice.

Safin let her slide away but still kept their arms linked. A part of him wanted to carry her to there next location, but he knew that she would probably punch him. In his spare time, Safin spent hours preparing the submarine pen for Y/n’s arrival. The bedroom was designed to fulfill her needs, but that wasn’t the only place that was meant for her.

“Close your eyes,” He says as you arrive at a large door.

You look at him and raise an eyebrow, immediately protesting. “Your going to trap me in a room where I cannot escape, aren’t you?”

“You are a guest, not a prisoner.” Safin reminded. You roll your eyes, deciding to go alone. Closing your eyes, Safin’s opens the door and leads you in. Taking small steps into the room, you can bear water running and birds chirping. A light that wasn’t artificial was projecting onto your skin. Opening your eyes, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

You were inside of a large glass atrium that had an open ceiling, showing the sun and cherry blossom tears. Their sakura petals fell into the garden, a few landing on your clothes and hair. Like all of the other gardens in the submarine pen, it was inspired after a Japanese Zen Garden but with color. There were Cherries, Bamboo, Camellias, Lavender, and a range of other flowers. Out of all of the places in your cold and unwelcoming home, this place had shined the brightest. It brought a true smile onto your face. Letting go of Safin, you walk down into the shrubs and are greeted with a small pond and a chabudai with a teapot and two cups.

“Would you like to have some tea?” Safin offers. You turn around and nod, a smile still on his face. Your not smiling at him, but the beauty of the garden. Before, the flat you had lived in was too small to host a garden (you also lived in the heart of Chelsea). As a substitute, your garden was a bunch of homemade terrariums and flowers. It felt like ethereal heaven.

The two of you sit down in the garden. Safin loves to see you so memorized with all of the plants. He had been in your apartment a few times when you weren’t there. He didn’t know how you managed to live in such a contained space. He had noticed all of the flowers and candles you had kept around and tried to replicate it best. He wasn’t doing something for himself, but his y/n.

“ Your smile is like the flowers in the spring.” He compliments. You look at him as you admire the diverse range of flowers that surround you. “It’s divine.”

“Oh..” You say as you feel your cheeks burn. This man was not going to stop until he got what he wanted. Safin went from kidnapping you to giving you a beautiful garden, along with subtle flirting. You weren’t really into dating much and never were hit on, even if you were a young woman. “Um, thank you..?”

He pours you a cup of Chai tea, and the two of you sit there, drinking in silence. Safin refuses to take his eyes off of you, admiring your every breath you take. Seeing you look at the flowers, fiddle with the cup, and small strands of hair fall into your face as you push them behind your ear. Everything about you was so magical to Safin. No matter what, Safin was going to make y/n fall in love with him. The two of you had enjoyed your tea in peace. Out of all of the madness, being in the gardens brought you peace.

Safin had let you enjoy the moment until he asked the question that he had been pondering about. “Do you love me?”

You nearly spit your tea out. Safin had been subtly flirting with you, but hearing him say the world love made you nearly choke. His face looked surprised, waiting for an answer. You had barely been around this man for a week, and he was already claiming he loved then. Then again, he did stalk you.

“I..um..no?” You spit, furrowing your thick eyebrows. The question had caught you completely off-guard.

Safin smiles, nodding at the response. Although upset at your answer, he knows that you will eventually have to give into him. Safin always got what he wanted, no matter the cost. “Fair enough, you will come around with time.”

The younger and more stubborn part of you would have loved to throw the tea into his hideous face and beat him. But it wasn’t so simple. Safin was a dangerous and mysterious man. The reason Europe was probably going to go into a civil war was because of him. M16 was probably going to have it’s a downfall because his blood became tainted on your hands. Not only were your friends were at risk, but so was your family. Safin had made a threat that if you didn’t comply, then he would...hurt them for you to love you. You couldn’t love a man that would hurt your family and drag them into your mess.

So you did the selfless act. You, a young woman, sacrificed yourself to Safin so your family could be safe from him. You would comply but at a price. No matter the cost, you wouldn’t give Safin exactly what he wanted.

Y/n was giving him the silent treatment again. Her face scrunched up as she looked away, annoyed.

“More like a thousand years.”

“Listen to me, my dear. I will strike a deal. Every night, I will ask you at dinner if you love me. Tell me no as much as you want. I don’t care how long it takes for you to come to your senses.” Safin proposes his plan. He sees y/n’s sudden interest with his “idea.”

“And when I do?”

“The next day will be your wedding day.”

Your jaw almost drops to the ground. Safin was an insane man; you already knew that. He was delusional enough to think that you were going to love him, but marry? That was a whole other level.

“You told Q in Athens you wanted to fall in love before you married, so I have given you however long you need.” He reassures. “But I know it will happen.”

You look at him with pure hate in your eyes. Words could barely process in your mind. You clench your teacup so tightly that you don’t even care if it begins to burn your palms. Safin had a smile on his face. He stood up and walked over to you, helping you up.

“I can get up myself, thank you very much,” You grumble as you walk ahead of him. Safin catches up and walks right beside you, seeing your anger. He pulls you closer than he did last time, tightly holding onto you. He knew that you weren’t going to protest if your family and friends were on the line. As you walk back to the bedroom, you feel relieved since being with Safin is emotionally exhausting. You mentally declare that he is one of the most insane men you had ever come across.

He stops in front of the door. A pissy “goodbye” leaves your mouth before Safin takes your hand, spinning you around. Your faces are even closer now. He smells like an expensive cologne with his haunting, big green eyes. The scars on his face aren’t burns, but horrid cuts that mutated his whole face. His hands were cold and rough from all of the scars. Safin doesn’t speak at all and just looks at your face in a creepy manner.

You feel his fingers brush against your skin as he puts a camellia behind your hair. Safin backs away, a smile on his face as he adores you. Out of all of the gloom in his life, y/n was ever so bright. She had been caught off guard when he placed the flower in her hair. His beautiful bride to be.

“I thought it would go well with your hair,’ He purrs as his fingers stroke it. “Anything would look lovely on you.”

Holding back at eye-roll, a soft sigh escapes your lips. “Thanks…”

“I hope you enjoyed our time together. The garden is for you and only you. Feel free to wander as you please. After all, this is our home now.” He slowly backs away, seeing your eyes watch him disappear down the fall. “I will be pack to pick you up for dinner at seven. Goodbye, my sweet y/n.”

Once he disappeared, you retreat back to your room and slam the door. You see yourself in the mirror with a bright flower in your hair. The hair you had combed had been touched by Safin, making you cringe. As much as you hated him, this new place was your home. This would be your life from now on, whether you liked it or not. Your family and friends’ lives were on the line. It wasn’t such a horrible life. The submarine pen was void of all life but lavish. If being in love with Safin meant your mother and sister would be safe, then so it be. You couldn’t believe you, a simple cryptographer, was the Anarchist’s, true love. Sighing in the mirror, you ask yourself a question that will never be answered.

What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

#rami malek x reader #safin x reader #safin #rami malek #no time to die #james bond #my writing

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tundrainafrica · 4 years ago

Text

Title: Heroes or Victims

Summary:

"As Hange stared down at the man whom she believed was very much deserving of the title “hero,” she was reminded that he was just as much a victim as everyone else."

Hange reflects on emotions, relationships, war philosophies, and a future while taking care of a severely injured Levi.

Written for @levihanweek, Angstober 2020. Prompt: trapped/escape

Link to cross-postings: AO3

Notes: Here is my offering for LeviHan Week, Angstober 2020. Prompt: trapped/escape. I went a little overboard with the word count. Either way, I hope you enjoy. ;)

Credits to my betareader @scribusdomina

Any soldier who died in the field was presented as a hero of the walls. The stories told within the walls evoked images of violent charges, loud and emotional screams for their motherland and quick deaths.

Those soldiers were brave, honorable, and patriotic.

There is no better way to die than falling off one's horse battered and bloody, dreaming of the motherland.

It was a terrifyingly effective piece of propaganda that the lower class within the walls of Paradis welcomed with open arms and consumed too quickly. People saw the garrison and military police as equals to the brave soldiers who die a quick death in the battlefield, their moment of honor yet to come. Ironically, the survey corps members who actually died quickly in the battlefield were rarely afforded that same respect.

For that reason, and for many other reasons, those who survived past what could have been their first death and eventually became the veterans of the corps, ended up completely rejecting this train of thought.

As the numbers of the survey corps members dwindled, the war against titans morphed into a war of attrition. The survey corps did not have the hundreds of people to spare and those within the survey corps at Hange's command were trained to hide in enclosed spaces to preserve themselves until the enemy tires out. A war that starts with a brave charge ends with quick deaths and a quick end to the war, giving no time for the soldiers to ponder the losses and their purpose in the grand scheme of things.

The shift towards preserving life gave birth to a new type of thinker --- the battle hardened soldier. Levi and Hange having survived the longest through the bloodiest wars with the most cruel bouts of survivor's guilt, were at the forefront of this paradigm shift.

Every single person who died out there for the crown and for the people who lived within the walls were more victims than heroes.

Those words in particular rang louder to Hange as she stared down at the man whom she believed was very much deserving of the title “hero”. At that moment though, as he lay injured and vulnerable, with the beginnings of a fever, Hange was reminded that he was just as much a victim as everyone else.

Levi had always been trapped. He grew up in the underground city under Wall Sina, forced into a life of crime and violence just to survive. From what she remembered, he did not join the survey corps out of his own volition either.

Hange brushed Levi's bangs out of his face and reapplied the wet cloth on his forehead.

She shuddered as she listened to Levi's soft whimpers. His face was a mess. She guessed he had a few broken ribs, probably some internal bleeding. He needed to get to a doctor and even if he did survive, he could be left with a permanent disability.

While the rich kid who disobeyed her parents and willingly joined the battle, just came out blind in one eye with a few bruises and scars. Hange let out a pained sigh as she thought of how unfair it all was. She had experienced enough comfort growing up and could have gladly taken some of that misfortune off his shoulders.

Levi's history was a stark contrast to hers. Hange had come from a comfortable background and despite her parent's protests, had committed to joining the survey corps out of sheer curiosity on what existed outside the walls. To her, military service was an escape, an escape from the safe, comfortable yet predictable future her parents had set out for her.

"Now that I think about it, I was free to do whatever I wanted. I had the choice to live within Wall Sina, the choice to defy my parents and join the survey corps. So I shouldn't be regretting anything…" Hange lightly tapped her eyepatch. The pain had completely faded and as she put pressure on it, the only thing she felt was the phantom pain from the memory of the explosion and glass flying into her eye.

She looked back to the sleeping Levi, trying to gauge how much pain he must be in, given the gravity of his injuries. She ended up laughing at her own naivete. She had experienced her fair share of injuries. They were all painful yet none of them really evolved into a full blown hospital stay or an injury leave.

Back then, an explosion like that would definitely have put him on injury leave for at least a month.

As Hange reminisced on their old expeditions outside the walls, she gave a sardonic laugh. "Worst timing eh? Can't even take you to a hospital for decent healthcare. We have a war to fight and you're stuck in bed."

"No… time… for care. We need… to fight...”

Hange instinctively looked down when she felt something warm on her fingers. She watched, amused as Levi tried to find the most natural way to wrap three fingers around her hand. "I'll go to your other side so at least it's your good hand wrapping around mine."

"No… Just sit near...."

Hange scooched closer to his hand and Levi settled for putting his right hand on top of hers. Levi's hand twitched a few times, possibly in protest to his attempts to squeeze her hand. She grasped it lightly and felt the hand on top of hers relax as she took on his burden. Somehow, his face seemed to relax more.

Hange lay down beside him on the forest floor, careful not to jostle his injured hand as she held it. She rolled over to her side and studied his bandaged face once again.

Ever since Levi had become a captain of the survey corps, he was constantly moving, constantly thinking. The weight of everyone's expectations on humanity's strongest was a heavy burden to carry. She had seen him fall asleep multiple times in Erwin's office or more recently, in her room next to her. He usually slept for three hours a night, easily awoken by the slightest sound, but there, right next to her, he looked like he had fallen into a deep sleep.

"Why now? How are you able to fall asleep now?" Hange asked softly with no expectations for an answer. By then, Levi's breathing had already evened out and Hange instead kept herself occupied, by mimicking the slow and steady breaths of the man next to her.

Somehow, she managed to fall asleep,too.

Heroes or Victims

Levi's fever only worsened.

He wasn't awake yet but Hange feared that he could be in pain.

Hange searched the forest for familiar plants. She was no botanist but she had studied enough to know what could be used to alleviate pain, stave off infections.

Whether she would be giving it in the right doses and processing it correctly was the better question. She had seen the people in the infirmary do that same method multiple times as she supervised the treatments of injured soldiers who contracted fevers from wound infections. She was hesitant at first to even attempt such treatment on Levi without training but she had seen how a high fever deteriorates into chills, slow breathing, then eventually death without the right treatment. She decided for herself that it was a gamble she had to take. Hange only hoped that she remembered everything accurately enough that she wouldn’t end up poisoning him.

As she waited for the leaves to steep, she turned her attention to Levi. The wet cloth she had placed on his forehead was heating up alarmingly fast and Hange found herself shaking as she wiped down his body with cooler water.

She recalled her own experiences in an attempt to placate her fears.

When was the last time she had felt that much heat come out of someone?

Maybe during her days supervising the injured survey corps members in the infirmary?

Did they survive?

Back then, they had the safe, sterile environment of the infirmary. There, at that moment, it was just both of them in the middle of a dark forest. Her own attempts only served to worsen her already growing fears. Despite the high fever, Levi was sleeping like a log.

"Why do you look so fucking peaceful?" Hange teared up. She would have preferred to see Levi in a fitful sleep. Pain meant he was still there. Hange had learned, having watched countless soldiers die in the infirmary, that when the breath of the patient slows and they start to feel cool and clammy, it means certain death. Also, a peaceful sleep introduced the possibility that he might never wake up.

Hange resisted the temptation to shake Levi awake, risking further injury. Instead, she settled for putting her hand on his good one and squeezing hard enough to feel something back. She focused on the fact that he was still hot to touch. It meant he was still very much alive.

"Don't you fucking die on me."

Heroes or Victims

Hange needed someone to talk to but at the same time, she was relieved that it had just been the two of them.

The ordeal with Levi's fever shooting up had left her exhausted, her eyes red and her nose running. As the poultice she had put together that night did its work and the fever started to subside, Hange had to stop herself from giving the injured Levi a good kick for all the stress he had caused her that night.

Hange woke up as soon as she heard the rustle of cloth next to her.

He's starting to come around.

It was early morning and Hange wanted to use that time before the sun's heat became unbearable to wash the sheets by the riverside. She carried Levi a few feet towards the river bank, rested him on a tree and covered him with his green cloak.

The sheets were stained with blood and sweat and Hange made a mental note to change his bandages after cleaning out the bed sheets. Watching the blood stains disappear as the sheets flapped in the water was somehow calming. It gave the young commander enough time to reflect on the events of the night before, her own emotions and the fact that she was still lacking sleep. As the last bouts of sleepiness left her, the pent up emotions of last night started to take over.

"Levi, you asshole!" She screamed as she angrily pulled the wet sheets toward her. The sheet flailed as it fought between both her strength and the river carrying it westward. She needed a break. Emotions had built up inside her the night before with no decent outlet as she concentrated all her energy on keeping Levi alive.

"You fucking asshole!" Hange pulled the sheet out and threw it down into the water again.

The cold water that splashed towards her face somehow helped her cool off. Hange let the sheets flow along with the river, only holding on to them with the tips of her fingers. "It was fucking terrifying. You had this fucking face last night. You looked so peaceful. Like you wanted to sleep forever. Do you not want to live anymore? Is your life so shitty that you decide for yourself that 'hey maybe dying might be the better?’”

At that point, Hange did not know how much of what she said she actually meant. He could have heard it. Maybe he didn't. Hange though allowed herself the luxury of releasing everything that was bundled up inside her to the one person who would have understood her either way.

"Life was shit. The dreams were good,” His reply was toneless and too rooted in their bleak reality.

Hange looked back to see that Levi was staring at her. For a while she wondered how much of her tirade he had heard but as she pulled the sheets out of the river and walked towards Levi, she found herself more interested in what Levi had just said.

"Do you feel trapped?" Hange hung the sheet on a low lying branch then crouched down beside Levi.

"Trapped?"

"In life I mean. Like in this hellhole. You looked so free last night. For a while, I thought I was the selfish one for trying to keep you alive."

“I don’t know…”

Hange had to admit. It would be a difficult question for someone especially while recovering from a brush with death. She silently scooched closer to him and looked up, using that clear sky above her as a blank slate to organize her thoughts. She could at least use that extra time to predict an answer like she usually did.

What did I know about him? Admittedly, the two of them did spend a lot of time together but given their line of work, there was always something to discuss. They never had the free time to sit around and just discuss each other's histories. Everything Hange ever knew about Levi, she learned through the bouts of information he volunteered about himself in between sharing thoughts on the latest developments. Hange had taken the liberty to fill in the gaps herself on his personality using empathy, deduction, and pattern recognition.

She was reminded then, that although she knew Levi's personality and could easily predict how he'd react to most situations, she only knew so much about what his life was like before they met.

"Then let me ask something else." Before she even noticed it, Hange had softened her tone. The desperation and anger of a while ago was gone as it looked like Levi was going to survive.

"Hm?"

"What did you dream about?"

Heroes or Victims

The world is a cruel place. That was something both Levi and Hange had concluded a long time ago.

The stark contrast between Levi’s dreams and the reality they lived in only made Hange feel worse for even taking out her frustrations on him. They had both experienced hell but Levi’s life had always been hell. From what she understood, he had grown up in abject poverty. He had experienced the worst the world had to offer--- starvation, discrimination, abuse. He had lost everyone he had ever loved. Only recently, he had lost everything he had known and suddenly was placed in a position of responsibility, forced to keep thinking, to keep moving.

Hange reflected on all these as she cleaned out his wounds. She couldn’t help but notice that Levi had stiffened up, possibly an attempt to control whatever natural reaction his body would make to the pain of the herbal poultice spilling into his deeper wounds. His attempt to hide the pain only served to intensify Hange’s guilt.

“It’s painful, huh?” She bit back tears. “I’m sorry. I was selfish.I didn’t wanna be trapped here alone but yeah, I still have family alive. You have nothing and here I am being entitled, getting mad at you for almost dying.”

“Hey,” Levi said. He weakly grasped Hange’s wrist while she cleaned his wounds. “I’m not trapped. I never was.”

“How can you still say that after all the shit life has thrown at you?” Hange asked as she wriggled out of his weak grip and gently laid his hand on his bare chest.

“I had my mom. Then when she died, I had Farlan, then Isabel, Erwin, then my squad…When I lost them, it hurt like a bitch, every single fucking time.” Levi suddenly looked away from Hange.

Hange could tell from the slight crack in his voice that he was blinking back tears. She put her hand on top of his and squeezed, hoping that was enough for him to realize that he did not need to stop himself from showing emotion.

Levi did not give in to his emotions though. The only sign that he was even about to cry a few seconds ago was that his voice had gotten softer. “But when I feel like shit, there’s always someone there to remind me that life was never just a hell hole. When this war is over, I like to imagine, life could get better. We could maybe live together, you can continue your stupid experiments, I can open a teashop.”

“Then we’ll fight over your black tea budget and how badly I clean the hallways,” Hange joked.

Levi’s mouth quivered into a smile and he closed his eyes. Hange watched as the sleeping effects of the herbal disinfectant took effect. She caressed his cheek and noted how his skin was still warm to the touch but not as hot as it was the night before.

When this war is over, I like to imagine, life could get better. Levi’s words echoed in Hange’s head. She closed her eyes, picturing the future he told her about a moment ago. It would take decades for the people within the walls to realize the futility of war and the vulnerability of the soldiers they had for so long revered. Either way, she let herself imagine spending a war-free future, stressing over mundane problems with the one she loved.

Before Hange left to scavenge for lunch, she allowed herself a few minutes to just stare at his sleeping face. She wondered if he was dreaming of that same future he had told her about. The subtle smile of a while ago had not disappeared from his face yet and somehow, he looked more peaceful than he did the night before.

Hange smiled. Maybe he was dreaming of the both of them. “You’re my escape, too,” she whispered.

Just in case he was.

#levi ackerman #hange zoe #levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #attack on titan #fanfic #levihanangstober

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moskaisley · 5 years ago

Text

migraine pt. 4 | tension

gif cred: @thestarwarsdaily

rating: mature

word count: 5.7k HOO BOY

warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST EVERYONE IS ANGY, cursing, descriptions of vomiting and a panic attack, mentions of death, mentions of trafficking

a/n: I KNO THIS TOOK A LONG TIME .. AND I'VE BEEN STARING AT IT FOR HOURS. THANK U ALL FOR BEING SO SO SO PATIENT AND THANK U TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO LEFT LOVELY COMMENTS ON BOTH TUMBLR N AO3 <3

I really really appreciate you guys. As someone who doesn't consider herself a writer by any means, it's nice to know that people enjoy the stories I tell. I had a LOT of trouble with this, but the rest of the story is planned out so I'm hoping there won't be as long a break in between chapters again! we've got about 3 parts left :))

summary:

"Maybe you don’t hate him as much as he thinks.

Maybe you miss him as much as he misses you. Maybe you also long for him in the late hours of the night, replaying moments of your lives together over and over and over in your head. Maybe you didn’t regret taking this job. Maybe, just maybe, you will forgive this broken man and let him in your heart’s home once again."

Wherein wounds are reopened, split, and burned alive.

parts 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6

ao3 link / masterlist

Detective Ira Volskaya was a shady guy. Incidentally, he was also your client.

He couldn’t have been much older than you were, but years of police work and crime stopping have weathered him into a brooding, suspicious man with greying hairs and droopy, tired eyes. You and Mando ended up far away from the city center of Coruscant, Volskaya insisting that collection took place in an abandoned warehouse. Judging by how secretive this all was and how strict the detective was on his instructions, you figured that this little exchange wasn’t “in line” with Security Force policy.

As Mando spoke with Volskaya, you helped unload Khan’s slab onto the docking station for his men to take away. Once they had it down the ramp, you walked over to them, catching his attention.

Taking a puff of his cigarra, he narrows his eyes and nods at you, “She wasn’t with you last time.”

“She’s just–”

Mando’s head darted between the two of you, hesitating.

“A coworker,” you cut in sharply.

The detective pursed his lips in suspicion, but left it alone. Instead, he turned to the briefcase at his feet, handing it over to Mando. As he double checked the amount in the case, your eyes caught Ira’s men loading the carbonite slab onto a speeder. Your mind drifts back to something Mando said on the Slipstream.

“he’s wanted for running multiple sex trafficking rings throughout the galaxy…”

You look back at the detective, “What’s going to happen to the rest of Khan’s operation?”

“We’re hoping that his capture will cause a fracture in his little empire. Break up the chain of command and let it die out.”

Volskaya takes another drag and sighs, smoke curling off his lips, “But with the new intel that’s come in, there’s a chance it’ll create a power vacuum. A lot of people wanted him dead. Someone new could easily take his place.”

Your stomach twists as you remember Aayn’vida trembling on the bathroom floor. There are probably still thousands of girls like her, just as scared and helpless. It makes your mouth go sour.

As if sensing your discomfort, Mando shuts the case abruptly.

“It’s all here. Let’s go.”

You kept repeating to yourself that nothing would satisfy you more than to get off this planet and move on from anything that had to do with Khan Horne. But there was a scathing pull at the back of your mind that tugged with each step closer to the Crest. Your gaze darted between the case in Mando’s hand, the slab on the speeder, and Ira Volskaya’s retreating figure. Furrowing your brows, you rub your fingers on your temple; collecting never felt this complicated. What’s gotten into you? You got your money and the job is done, so why was your brain screaming at you to stop Mando from closing the ramp?

Someone new… a power vacuum.

“Wait.”

Mando’s gaze turned to you, fingers hovering over his vambrace.

Fumbling over your words, you say something along the lines of stay put and that you’ll be back in a second. Turning back to the warehouse, you jog away from the ship and call,

“Detective!”

He spins on his heel back to you, face twisting in confusion.

Squaring your shoulders and huffing your breath, you say, “Give me a list of everyone who was involved in Khan’s organization.”

He eyes you quizzically, “I thought bounty hunters didn’t ask questions.”

“I’m not asking as a bounty hunter.”

“Then what are you asking as?”

“Someone who can get to them faster than the Security Force can,” You swallow hard, courage pulsing through you, “Someone who can help.”

The detective raises his eyebrows at you, impressed. And then he smiles, throwing his cigarra to the ground and stomping out the ashes beneath his foot.

Din Djarin was not good enough for you. He didn’t deserve you. This much he knew.

So he let you go.

He really thought he did the right thing. It escalated too quickly after the cockpit and he found himself falling hard. What started as relief for sexual tension turned into softer touches, shining smiles, flirtatious jokes that drove him over the edge.

And then,

“Do you ever think there’s more to this?”

He digs his nose into the crook of your neck, arm slung over your bare waist. Half-asleep, dizzy from your warmth, he relishes in the feeling of your body next to his.

“More to what?”

You let out a gentle sigh, “This life. Hunting. Living out of a tiny, broken ship hopping from planet to planet.”

“Hey, the Crest isn’t that bad.”

You slap him lightly against his chest, “You know what I mean.”

“What did you have in mind?”

A cottage. The ocean. Family.

All in the afterglow of a kiss that tasted like peaches.

Din had a feeling you’ve always wanted more, but this was truly the first time you spoke honestly and truly in length about it. Bounty hunting was rarely ever a sought after profession, and though you were good at your job, he knew it wasn’t something you ever planned on continuing. Twisting a peach pit in your fingers, you admit to him that your life would’ve been completely different without it. You would’ve taken over your father’s orchards and lived in your beautiful family villa, selling fresh fruit to nobles and townspeople alike. Your voice grows wistful as you recount sweet summer days spent chasing your older brother through the fields or weaving baskets with your mother.

“I wore sundresses, Din.”

He smiles against the soft skin of your neck and squeezes your thigh gently, “Sounds pretty. You should wear them again.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“Very much so, yes.”

You let out a giggle, shoving him gently. He only held you tighter. A beat of silence passed between you before Din’s hand moved to interlace with yours, face suddenly contorting with unease.

“What happened?”

“What always happens.” Your shoulders rise and fall with a heavy sigh, and you grip his fingers tighter. “I was seventeen when Imps occupied our valley. They wanted to clear the farm for military barracks; when my father refused, they burned everything to the ground in the middle of the night. My brother and I escaped with a few other refugees.”

“And your parents?”

“Firing squad.”

“What about our brother?”

He feels your nails dig further into the crevice of his hand.

“He was stupid enough to join the Resistance. I don’t know where he is, but I’ve assumed the worst already.”

His heart twists in remorse at the hurt in your voice. Removing his hands away from yours, he pulls you in closer, stroking your hair with his calloused fingers and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. In all your years of partnership, Din had never known the full extent of your past, only that you started young doing hits for spice cartels and eventually ending up in the Guild. Before, when he tried to ask why you started so early, your answer was always brief and bitter.

“There was only so much a girl could do to make money, Mando.”

The conversation never went further than that. But now, in light of your vulnerability and candor, your questions about the future suddenly made sense. It was never supposed to be this way; your life since adolescence had been solely dictated by fear and the need to survive. When you spoke about it, you sounded exhausted. With the decline of the Empire, how could he blame you for wanting to be more than a war-torn orphan turned ruthless hunter?

The more he thought about it the more it tore him apart.

Because suddenly he was 11 years old again, watching the carnage of his hometown disappear over the shoulder of a Death Watch soldier. Jarring visions of blood and empty eyes melted in between with hazy memories of happy trips to the market and bedtime stories. It felt like whiplash. The echoes of blaster fire and falling debris were loud enough for him to wake up shaking in a cold sweat. The pounding of his heart sounded a lot like cannon fodder and it was loud enough to give him the headaches you suffered from so often. He was ashamed to say that the only time he really remembered his mother’s face was when she was dead on the ground. But to his horror, in his nightmares, he began to see you instead of her, body lifeless and eyes devoid of any life. Everything he’d been ignoring since his youth, crushed and hidden after swearing the Creed and following the Way of the Mandalore, was suddenly washing over him like ocean waves in a storm. Because, unlike you, this life was so devastatingly simple and comfortable for him. It was almost sacred; he was bound by a near holy doctrine and devoid of emotional attachments. That is, until you came and found home under his skin. He was grieving for you before he even lost you. It was unbearable, filling his lungs and suffocating him until he was gasping for air–

“Are you okay?” Your drowsy voice whispered beneath him.

He swallowed hard and pulled you closer, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Go back to sleep, sweet girl.”

Any semblance of a normal life was lost on him. Din knew he couldn’t give you peace he didn’t have. He wanted to, though.

He wished he could gift you every star that shone in the sky.

Fuck 80%. He’d give you galaxies.

And yet, he still pulled a blaster on you and left you alone – too caught up in not facing his own demons. Din didn’t realize how much of a mistake it was to let you go until he was half-dead, bleeding all over your old bunk. A job went terribly wrong that day. He was ambushed on some godforsaken jungle planet and running on two hours of sleep, dreams plagued with visions of you crying at the foot of the Slipstream. He was so used to having someone cover his blindspots that he made a colossal mistake that nearly cost him his life. No one had his back that day, and was there no one to stitch him up and call him an idiot.

Existing without you was rougher than he thought it’d be since you’d seeped into every corner of his little life. He couldn’t pass a fruit stand without glancing over for your favorite peaches. When he’d wrangle with tougher bounties, he cursed at how much easier this shit would be if you were there. In the Razor Crest, you’d organized the kitchenette a certain way that Din couldn’t find a pot without tearing it apart, and then he’d wrack his brain to figure out how you organized it so neatly in the first place. He felt a chill when he passed your empty bunk. One day, he found a bottle of your headache medicine in the refresher cabinet. Din kept it. Just in case.

You were everywhere and yet, you weren’t.

You ran together for so long that others noticed your disappearance. Even Xi’an.

“Where’s your little puppy, Mando? She lost?”

He said nothing.

The Twi’lek moved closer, running a hand up his chestplate, “Or did you leave her behind, too?”

“Don’t,” he seethed. The victory in her eyes was disgusting.

Mayfeld’s teasing voice cut in, “Competition, Xi’an?”

“Hardly,” She gave him a vile smirk, “Did she whine like a bitch when it finally happened?” Din was quick to seize her hand away from his body, twisting her forearm near the point of breaking.

“I said. Don’t.”

She only laughed. He wished you were there to wipe that smirk off her face.

It was then that he decided to come and find you. As it turns out, bounty hunters don’t make great parents. The child had just barely survived again, and Din was getting desperate. He’d already lost track of how many times the baby was put in danger, and though he’d been able to keep him alive all these months, Din was definitely not a parent.

After picking up the most lucrative, non-Guild job he could get, he flew straight to the one person he could truly trust in the universe.

When he saw you tensely poised at the cantina, ten paces felt like ten parsecs.

The first thing he noticed were the strands of grey peeking through your hair and the dark circles beneath your eyes. You were by no means an old woman, but you weren’t getting any younger either. In the state that he left you in, three years had aged you and your fiery spirit. Your once lively, spitfire demeanor was now cold and tired.

In the beginning of this little reunion, Din was half convinced that he’d made a terrible mistake trying to make amends. He was desperate to be in your good graces. He needed to apologize. beg you. Grovel at your feet. Atone. Do penance. But you’d seem to shut down every time he tried, denying his pitiful apologies and forgoing any pleasantries. The Mandalorian was lost around you.

And then you got shot.

At that point, Din was positive you were marching straight out of his ship and jetting away in the Slipstream the second this was all over – not before kicking his ass, of course. All the guilt that had consumed him over the years nearly drew him to insanity as he took your limp body from Aayn’vida’s arms, cursing in Mando’a and imploring you to stay awake. Wiping the tears from your eyes and tending to your wound, his thoughts were hysterical. How could he do this to you? Put you through all this trouble only to get shot? And for what? A chance to –

“Din?”

The name fell so softly from your lips.

“Din, my head– it hurts so much.”

His mouth goes dry. He lets out a shaky breath, overwhelmed and eyes bleary.

“Sssh, lay down. You’ll be okay, cyar’ika.”

The Mandalorian only ever dreamed about you saying his name again. Upon your reunion, he noticed immediately how unnatural “Mando” sounded in your mouth, even if he’s heard it thousands of times. It stung when you refused to call him anything else. So hearing it whispered in the walls of the Razor Crest again made his heart beat violently in his chest and gave him the smallest sliver of hope.

Maybe you don’t hate him as much as he thinks.

“I saw Xi’an again.”

Initiating small talk felt physically painful, but he tried anyway. After Jaemai, you seemed to be a little more comfortable speaking freely with him. If you were still angry, you kept it hidden well. Besides, it was hard to be upset with a cute baby on board.

“Really?” You responded with casual interest, attention mostly focused on the child in front of you while Din piloted the ship.

“Yup,” he said, “She… uh...betrayed me and tried to kill the kid.”

“Sounds like her. Where is she now?”

“Prison.”

He doesn’t miss the cheeky grin that spreads across your lips. You softly chuckle and take the baby in your arms, cooing to him, “Good riddance, huh? That scary blue lady is gone for good, yeah?”

The kid gurgles in delight when he’s lifted up. Mando watches you lovingly play with the child, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He doesn’t remember you being so good with kids, but then again, that was a rare opportunity in itself. The thought of you with kids of your own makes his cheeks flush with warmth.

“Where did you even find him?” You ask, bouncing him up and down in his crib.

“Arvala 7. He was the asset.”

You look at him now, puzzled, “The asset? He’s a child!”

“He’s wanted by Imps.”

“Huh.” You hold the child closer to you now, rocking him in your arms. “And you saved him.”

He hummed in confirmation. A beat of silence passes by.

Mando notes the way the kid stares at you with warm, loving eyes, “He likes you.”

“Yeah?” You look back to the green baby raising him high in the air. His excited laughter is sweet in your ears and you giggle with him.

“Mando’s probably a mess when it comes to you. Probably forgets to feed you, doesn’t he?”

He rolls his eyes, but he’s heart flutters all the same.

Lowering the child back into his pod, the child fusses as you try to get him to settle down. You took the silver ball that was laying in his blanket and placed it in his hands to divert his attention. Din faces back towards the console while you sink into the co-pilot’s seat. Your old seat.

From the corner of his eye, he sees you pulling a data pad from your pack on the floor and plugging in a storage drive. You scroll through droves of information silently while Din keeps his gaze trained on the passing lights of hyperspace. But his curiosity only grew, and he was tired of straining his eyes to slyly look at whatever you were reading.

“What are you looking at?”

Your eyes don’t meet his, instead continuing to scan over the information before you. “It’s all the people who kept Khan’s ring running.”

“You got this from the detective?”

You nod.

“Why?”

A long sigh escapes you as you power down the datapad and slip it away.

“I guess you can say I’m retiring.”

Din’s body is quick to turn to you, “What do you mean?”

“You heard Volskaya, someone is just gonna take his place. There are still plenty of people like Aayn’vida. People who need help.”

Beneath his helm, his face twists in reluctance. He asks, “And you’re gonna do it alone?”

You furrow your brows at him, as if the answer was obvious. “Looks like it.”

Din straightens up in his seat, stomach turning uneasily. The air in the cockpit was suddenly suffocating, and he sensed your growing ire as you pressed your lips together.

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

You roll your eyes.

“You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“Your judgy thing!”

You point an accusing finger at his form, “The one you do with your face and your shoulders.”

“You can’t even see my face.”

“Mando.”

“Alright! It’s just–” he grits, struggling to find the words, “It seems...dangerous.”

“You say that like it makes a difference,” your voice cuts in, sharp like a blade, “do you not think I’m capable on my own?”

“What? No, I–”

Kriff, why is it so hard to talk to you? Din lets out a huff, scolding himself to get it together.

“Listen, we both know you’re more than capable of handling yourself. But this? This is big shit. Not some bail-skipper or petty thief. You go after them and they’ll be on you for the rest of your life.”

“What life, Mando?” you snapped, “When I was her age, I could’ve easily been one of those girls. Bounty hunting wasn’t a life, it was survival. This is something that’s important.”

“Y/N, you’re gonna get yourself killed.”

“Why does that suddenly matter to you?”

You both wince at the sharpness of your words and you turn away from him, suddenly embarrassed of your own outburst. Harsh silence blankets you both as you keep your gazes trained forward. The tension in the air is heavy and thick.

Your tight voice cuts through the quiet with a single question.

“Why did you bring me here?”

He feels like he’s gonna be sick.

“I–”

A giant crash abruptly resounds through the cockpit, causing the three of you to jerk forward. Alarms uproar through the ship as the two of you scramble into position at the console. Your fingers find the buttons easily, pulling up the radar and scanning the area for the threat.

A comm chimes in, “Give us the child, Mandalorian! It’s no use trying to run.”

“It’s a gunship, coming in from behind us,” you quickly inform, “Shit! The shields are weak, we need to get out of here now.”

He nods in agreement, gripping the controls again and lurching the ship forward and speeding off. Your attackers follow in hot pursuit, blasting your ship again. A hit lands, shaking the Crest violently again, earning a strangled cry from behind you.

“Y/N! The baby!” Din grunts, veering the ship back on course.

“Right!”

You nearly leap from your seat, securing and shushing the panicked child as you close his pram to keep him from falling amidst the chaos. Coming back to the co-pilot’s seat, you curse as you read through the multiple alarms flashing across the ship’s interface.

“Our shields are down, Mando. We need to end this.”

He curses under his breath, weighing their options. They didn’t have enough fuel for a hyperspace jump, nor the time to make any proper calculations. His gaze darts to the green planet approaching up ahead and bites the inside of his cheek. A crash isn’t ideal, but it solves the issue of being stranded in dead space. Another jolt and crash rock the ship forward.

“Strap in,” He barks at you, “We’re shooting our way out and going for an emergency landing.” You nod, securing yourself in your seat and preparing yourself for battle.

“It isn’t the worst planet to get stuck on.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that we’re stuck.”

The two of you stood at the foot of the Razor Crest which was currently smoking and leaking fuel into the forest floor. Though you’d survived the gunfight above, the ship had taken serious damage. The shield generators were nearly destroyed and the repulsor grilles were shot, making it impossible to fly the Crest without spinning off course. Normally, with the help of a mechanic, the job could be done within a matter of days, but you were both stuck in a thick forest with the next town over being at least a day’s walk. Repairs could take at least a week with the spare parts that were already kept in the ship, and travelling into town could easily make it two, assuming they’d even have what you need. This posed 2 issues:

Every day you stayed idle, the higher the risk of another hunter (or worse, an Imperial) turning up and kidnapping the child.

Din had yet to feel the wrath that had been building up inside you for the past three years. If the hunters didn’t shoot him, you definitely would, and you wouldn’t miss.

He takes his gaze off the ship and observes your surroundings. All things considered, it was a pretty nice place. The forest was lush, rife with tall trees and bright flora. The air was fresh and cool, and the whistles of birds carried through the treetops. He was somewhat grateful; you could have easily been stuck in a scorching desert or some awful jungle. Past the clearing–which had inadvertently been made by the ship crash– there was a lake, crystal clear and stretching for miles. If the circumstances were any different, maybe you would have enjoyed yourselves, stopped and admired the scenery together.

But they weren’t.

The fact of the matter is that there’s something acrid that permeated the air between you. Sometimes, he could catch it in the way you looked at him, how your eyes flared with sharp, visceral rage and piercing through his beskar like a hot blade. He saw it in the cantina at your reunion, and he felt it twist his heart during your last exchange before you landed.

“Why does it suddenly matter to you?”

Discussing the rift between you wasn’t a conversation he was eager to have. The attack on the Crest only delayed the inevitable, and now, shipwrecked on an unknown planet, he waited anxiously for the years to catch up on him. Your irritation with him didn’t die when you’d landed; it might’ve actually gotten worse. Every furrow of your brows, every curse under your breath only reminded Din of how much you were dying to say, and it only amplified his dread. But being the practical person you were, you remained focused on survival first, setting up camp and laying out a plan for repairs in the morning. Going into town would have to wait, as you weren’t sure what state the ship would be in after its initial mending. You stayed silent in the hours you both tended to your respective duties and it wasn’t until the late afternoon that he felt your presence once again.

He was in the middle of counting ration packs when you said, “We need firewood. It might be cold tonight.”

Din nodded, but as he watched you begin to walk away into the woods, he couldn’t help but spill the words bubbling in his throat.

“About what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to offend you,” he stood to his full height, “You’re–you’re right. It’s not my business anymore.”

You didn’t respond to him for a moment; your expression, frozen and unreadable. Your gaze tears away from him to look down at the toes of your shoes, and he hears you let out a dejected, breathy laugh as you shook your head.

“You know what I don’t get?” You ask, cynicism dripping from your lips, “You never answered my question on the ship.”

Din clenches his fists, nausea suddenly returning to him.

“Khan wasn’t a hard job. You could’ve easily caught him without me, so why? Why did you bring me? Why did you find me?”

“I couldn’t go into the terminal without attracting attention.”

“No, but you could’ve waited for him to move. Tracked him somewhere else,” your tone grows more clipped by the second, “I know you. You’re the best in the parsec and you would’ve found him. I might’ve gotten shot, but there were way harder quarries than him.”

When he still doesn’t answer, you march forward, fuming with indignation.

“For once, can you just tell me the truth?”

Din’s heart was nearly bursting out of his chest, anxiety rippling through him as he confessed.

“I need help,” he croaks, nearly cringing at the weakness and desperation in his tone, “with him.”

He beckons over to the child, carelessly toddling along the floor. Din watches your expression soften with pity as you watch him play.

“I don’t...I don’t know what I’m doing,” He continues, “I’m so confused and–and lost. I worry about him all the time. He’s always in danger. I’ve tried to give him a home, somewhere safe. But the Empire won’t stop until they find him.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re the only one I trust in this universe.”

Din waits for your answer with bated breath, drinking in every reaction. You looked pained, fingers finding their way to the bridge of your nose, pressing hard and you squeeze your eyes shut.

“And I’m supposed to trust you in return?”

Once again, he doesn’t respond, fearing that he’d only make the situation worse.

“You know I can’t do this.”

You cross your arms, hugging your body as you turn away from the kid to face him. He feels his heart sink, distress clawing away at him. I need you; I can’t lose you again. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

“Could you at least think about it?”

“I can’t,” you say sternly, “I’m sorry about the kid, but I know you can figure something out. I’m not the right person, and you need to find someone else.”

You are. More than right. More than I deserve.

“I don’t know who else I can turn to.”

“Mando, you don’t understand,” your voice turns angry once again, “I can’t live everyday not knowing if you’re gonna stick around or not.”

“Things are different, Y/N. I’m not going to leave.”

“Why? Because you have a baby to take care of, you’re suddenly willing to stick around? What happens if things get serious? What is keeping you from walking out tomorrow? A few weeks from now? Are you gonna leave me without a ship this time? Shoot me if I don’t cooperate?”

Stop stop stop stop. He raises his voice, not in ire but in desperation, “This isn’t about us, this is about him!”

“It’s always going to be about us!” Din is stunned to silence as your eyes turn glossy and red with tears, “And after everything, I–I can’t trust you. I mean–kriff– you left me in the worst way possible. You only offered me a job because you knew I wouldn’t have listened to you in the first place, didn’t you?”

His shoulders go rigid, head dipping in shame.

You scoff, sucking in a deep, shaky breath before you go on, “We can’t act like nothing ever happened and just push it aside for the kid; it’s always going to be there. Every time we speak, every time I look at you I–”

You cut yourself off, hesitating to finish your thought. Running your fingers through your hair, you tug at it at it as you let out yet another frustrated huff, “I spent three years of my miserable life trying to figure out what I did wrong. If you can tell me right now what was going through your head that day, then maybe I’ll consider staying. But if you can’t, you need to find someone else.”

The words are there, but get caught in his throat. He’s terrified; speaking them aloud might just rip him in half, but if he doesn’t, he loses you a second time. But they don’t come; they linger and fester and rot on his tongue, and he can only clench his fists harder at his own cowardice.

The way you look at him is soul crushing.

“I thought so.”

You pick up your pack and sling it over your shoulders, skulking into the woods without another word.

You didn’t come back for hours. Night fell across the forest as Din paced outside the Razor Crest, playing out your conversation in his head over and over again until it made him dizzy. His gut was filled with dread as each minute passed by, and he couldn’t figure out if he wanted you to come back at all. It wasn’t until he heard a soft whine from the floating pram that he realized that so much time had passed. Din nearly forgot to feed the child his own hysteria.

“Hey, little womp rat,” he sighed, gently picking him up, “She’s right, huh? I really am a mess.”

The baby’s big glossy eyes stare up at him as if sensing Din’s unease. His tiny hands grab at the thick cloak around his neck, pulling himself upwards and nuzzling his face in between his neck and his pauldron. Is he… comforting me?

Something forms at the base of his throat as he croaks a gentle, “Thanks, kid.”

But this quiet moment of peace is interrupted at the cracking sound of a stick. He stills, listening further as footsteps grow louder and louder. His blaster is out and aimed behind him before he can even think to look. He whips around, clutching the baby closer to him only to see you abruptly dropping the chopped wood in your hands to the floor. The baby begins to cry at the sudden shift in movement.

He relaxes, letting his arm fall to his side but not holstering his blaster. Instead, he gently bounces the child in his other arm in an attempt to soothe him.

“It’s okay. It’s just Y/N,” he says softly. When Din looks back to you, you’re still frozen on the spot. His brows furrow beneath his helmet.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You stutter, “Can you put that fucking thing away, please?”

He looks at the child, and back to you. A flare of irritation ignites in his chest.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Every time you point you point it at me, I expect you to pull the trigger.”

Oh. Shit.

Guilt pierces through his chest. He quickly slips it back into his holster

“I’m sorry I didn’t know it was you,” he apologizes. You’re still unmoving, looking at him as if he’d just burned you.

“Y/N, you know I would never–“

“But you were going to.”

“Not even then.”

As Din begins to walk forward, he notices the way your body shakes violently. His hand gingerly goes to rest against your arm to comfort you, but you tear yourself away from him, wrapping inward as you seethe.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.”

The look in your eyes makes Din’s blood run cold. Your pointed stare was piercing and hot and raw. It seared and flared with white hot wrath. Your breathing was ragged, chest heaving up and gasping for air. There it is.

The visceral rage and contempt you held for him had finally surfaced. It festered and boiled over, consuming you to the point where Din thought you would’ve killed him on the spot. But then, revulsion contorts your face, and you quickly shove past him, leaving him paralyzed in your wake. You disappear behind the Crest, and he hears you dropping to the ground.

He winces at the sound of you heaving the contents of your stomach into the lake.

Din sets the baby down into his carrier, and quickly rounds the corner of the ship to see you on your hands and knees at the edge of the water.

He’s speechless. The only words he could manage sounded disgustingly miserable from his vocoder.

“I’m so sorry.”

You sniffle as you drag yourself up from the ground. You don’t turn around to face him.

“You don’t have to tell me why you left. Even if I deserve an explanation,” you say, voice strained and pathetic.

“Because when this is all over, I don’t ever want to see you again. Keep your money and your jobs. I don’t care if it pays enough for ten lifetimes. If you ever try to find me, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”

taglist:

@bella-ciaao , @tiffdawg thanx loves <3

#IM NERVOUSUSOSUSUOS #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian/reader #the mandalorian fic #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin/reader #baby yoda #pedro pascal #am i too dramatic #can u tell the leo jumped out #i will say #it gets worse before it gets better #migraine #my palms r sweaty #srry im 36 minutes late

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imagines-for-the-fangirls-soul · 4 years ago

Text

Return to Me - Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Five: Homeward Bound

A/N: I’m so sorry this is so late! There’s been a lot going on in my life (mostly good things) and I’ve just been busy and not been in the mood to write. I hope you’re all still invested in the story, though! Let me know what you think and please accept my apology. Also, this chapter is a little bit short but I’m absolutely exhausted right now.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader Word Count: 2,943 Synopsis: The reader returns to Naboo on the next step to making things right, while the Resistance works out a way to garner more support.

Tag List: @xeniarocks, @too-many-baes, @araceli91103, @idocarealot, @treblebeth, @treestarrrrrrrr, @thescarletknight2014, @cspr-2, @ibikus, @mellow-f1, @mrsdaamneron, @trustme3-13, @missjess71, @ella-solei, @minelskede, @gleigh42, @usuallyweepingnacho, @givemethatgold, @and-claudia, @constantdisgrace, @wordsinwinters, @readingvogueonprivetdrive, @trshbb, @kaitlynw011, @ihave2muchtimeonmyhands, @fairytalesforever, @thanos-jeep, @mixedfandxms, @pastelbunny1501, @emotionalcal, @danicalifxrnia, @getyourselfaunicorn, @spider-starry, @jimhalpertcanbuymelove, @angelicaxhouston, @roserrys, @blushingwueen, @americasass-romanoff, @commondazy, @throughparisallthroughrome, @ms-dont-care , @bubblegumcat229 , @barnesdameron

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“A bodyguard?” You stormed back to the command center so quickly, the door opening almost hit Finn in the face. You stopped it an inch from his face and mouthed an apology before turning back to Leia. “I don’t need a bodyguard.”

“Y/N,” she said with a tired sigh, “You have been gone a long time, there will be a large target on your back. Especially with what you plan to do. The moment you open your mouth to speak against the First Order, they’re going to want to get rid of you. You need protection.”

“I can protect myself. I did for--”

“For the months you were gone?” Leia asked, standing. “I don’t think you really want to go there, Y/N.” You tried to hold your ground, but the steel of her glare had you faltering.

“I”m sure Rey has more important things to do,” you said, your voice much weaker than before.

“Rey has a special connection with Ren, just like you. She’s the perfect bodyguard. Besides,” Leia said with a tut, “She’s the only one who wanted the job.”

Her final sentence was meant to silence you, and it worked miraculously. It felt like a slap in the face. You looked around the room, a room of people you had loved and fought beside for years, and none of them cared whether you were dead or alive? You couldn’t help the burning in your eyes when you looked to Poe. He was deliberately looking elsewhere.

“Fine, General. This is your war, and you know best.” Bhavisama was back. Your voice changed as you spoke, and when you turned out of the room, you threw back your shoulders and regally marched out of the room, not looking back.

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“Did you have to say that part?” Karé asked once you had left.

“She needs to know the truth,” Leia said simply.

“But is it really in our best interest to cut her off just as soon as she’s back?” she asked. Poe finally looked away from the spot he had chosen to stare at when you entered, and focused on Karé. She had a point.

“I think Y/N knows the damage she has done in her running away. She expects a little bit of penance,” he said.

“So it’s okay that we lied and told her no one else wanted to protect her? That she can think you don’t care about her?” Karé asked with a shake of her head.

“Look, Leia knows best. Y/N needs to be with Rey, and I have to stay here,” he said, folding his arms in a way he knew was childish.

Leia looked between the two of them until she was sure their riff was over before bringing the next piece of business to their attention. With you back, and your promise to vocally fight for the Resistance, their next step was to figure out how to address the galaxy. There was plenty of damage they could do by showing the destruction that the First Order left in their wake everywhere they went, but they had to be selective in showing off their wins. Flashy, but not too proud. Specific, but not revealing.

“What about our trip to that village on the other side of Chandrila?” Snap asked. “That might send the right message.” A smile spread across Leia’s face as she nodded.

“That’s perfect. And it’ll throw suspicion from our base. They’d never guess we’d shoot a propaganda video on the same planet we had taken root on.”

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“Look, she’s stuck with us, alright?” Nové said, sitting down next to you on the ship that was taking you back home, back to Naboo. “And as far as bodyguards go, we could have a lot worse.”

“I know,” you said, shaking your head. “It’s just so much has changed.”

“That’s the way things always are,” she said with a gentle frown, “But some things stay the same,” she said, taking your hand in hers. You smiled at her.

“Now, what do we have in mind for my royal return?” you asked.

“Well, the thing is, I’m not sure you’re going to have the most welcoming ceremony. You’ve been gone for a long time.” You nodded your head solemnly. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t look fabulous. And don’t worry,” she said, taking in the sight of your face, “Naboo is loyal to those loyal to her, our people have already turned their backs on Broden for what he’s done. Once they see that you’re home and ready to fight, they’ll find their love for you again.”

“Thanks, Nové.”

“You’re welcome. I’ve laid out a dress for you. Think you can manage without me for a couple of minutes?” she asked with a smirk. You decided to not bring up the months you had been on your own and instead nodded. Nové excused herself to go over a few things with Rey, giving you a chance to get ready for Naboo, both physically and mentally.

The warm blue waters were the first thing to greet you as you arrived on Naboo. With new changes in security, the hangar was no longer accepting any incoming ships that weren’t working directly with the military. It wasn’t uncommon for ships to make a water landing in Naboo, but it was a surprise. A royal ship hadn’t landed in the lakes surrounding Theed Palace in years.

The landing was rocky, but in a way you enjoyed. It felt like being back on the speeder boats you had cruised around in on Varykino. Your enjoyment quickly faded when you realized you were going to have to face your mistakes once more.

Nové came back into the room a second later, making sure that you were ready. She could read the anxiety in your face and didn’t ask how you were feeling. You fidgeted in your dress slightly and took in a deep breath. It was now or never, and you had done plenty of hiding already.

There wasn’t a welcoming committee when you exited your ship. Instead, you were met with a small group of soldiers. Like when you arrived on Chandrila, they asked you a few questions and examined your face, making sure that you truly were Bhavisama.

Once they were satisfied, you were ushered into the palace. The entry point was on the opposite side of the palace so there was another five minute walk in silence as you made your way towards the throne room.

Standing in front of the heavy doors, you took in once last breath before nodding to the guards. They opened the doors in what felt like slow motion, and with watery eyes you laid eyes on your parents. They had been notified of your arrival and were looking eagerly at the doors. When you stepped into the room your mother was the first one to break. She smiled as she let out a gentle sob and ran toward you.

Never in your life had you seen your mother run. She was always a woman of grace and poise, and running would not have fit her title. But she raced towards you and wrapped you in the tightest hug you had ever received from her. You thought that there might be a leak in the ancient ceiling until you realized it was your mother’s tears.

You hugged her back.

“I’m so sorry,” she said once she finally pulled away. “Oh, my Y/N,” she said softly, stroking your cheek. “I was so worried we had lost you forever.”

“Me too,” you said with a shrug. Osira laughed gently and nodded her head before wrapping you in her arms again. Over her shoulder, you saw your father. He hadn’t approached the two of you fully, but he had taken a few steps closer. You looked up into his eyes and saw the nerves behind them.

When you broke away from your mom you turned to face him. Even his posture was uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know how to act around someone he had known their entire life. You wanted to be angry with him, but he looked so uncomfortable, he was starting to make you uncomfortable, too.

“Thank you,” you said after a long pause, “For keeping Naboo safe while I had to step away.”

“O-Of course,” he stammered, surprised by your words. You looked at him for a little longer, but when it was clear he wasn’t going to say more, you rolled your eyes and turned back to your mom. She sighed and took your hand in hers.

“Let’s get you caught up on everything you’ve missed.”

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“If we’re going to show off what we’ve done on Chandrila, why do I have to go to Naboo?” Poe asked. He was hating the way he had been acting the last day or so, seeming like an entitled teenager, but he didn’t like to be pushed around. Especially when he was being pushed towards someone he didn’t want to have contact with.

“Because we need to start rebuilding our base. Y/N’s plan to voice her support for the Resistance is all well and good, but we need to strengthen it. She’s been gone for a long time, but so has the Resistance. We’re only just starting to make progress again, it wouldn’t hurt to remind the galaxy of that.”

“I agree,” he said, nodding his head, “But why am I the one who has to do it?” he asked.

“I thought you enjoyed being the poster boy for the Resistance?” Leia asked with a smirk.

“It can get in the way of things sometimes,” he said, only mustering a tired smile to match hers.

“What is it getting in the way of now? Ignoring Y/N?”

“I’m not ignoring her.” BB-8 gave a beep that said otherwise. “Can you blame me?” he asked, looking to both the droid and Leia.

“No,” she said, taking a step closer to him, “But you know you aren’t going to stay away from her forever.”

“Maybe I will,” he said, “She said she doesn’t see a future together anymore.”

“Within the galaxy we’re living in now,” Leia said, looking at him in a way that kept his eyes locked on hers, “We’re all fighting to change it. I thought you were, too.”

“I am,” he said with a sigh.

“Great. So you’ll go to Naboo and present the footage of the First Order attack, and stand by Y/N’s side as she pledges her support to the Resistance.”

“And then after?” he asked.

“I don’t pretend to know what the two of you did after a mission,” she said, finally making him smile a little. “Maybe just talk.”

“Maybe,” he said tiredly.

“I’ll take it. You’ll head out tonight.”

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“Clearly he didn’t want to see me before, why is he here now?” you asked.

“General Organa sent him here. She wants the both of you in this message,” Rey said. You sighed and nodded your head. The ton of Rey’s voice told you that she wasn’t messing around. There was no getting out of this, so you were just going to have to suck it up and push through it.

“Fine, when is he getting here?”

“I’m already here.”

You and Rey turned towards the door of the conference room and saw Poe standing in the doorway. His body language was not dissimilar to your father’s earlier.

“Hey, Poe,” Rey said with a smile.

“Hey. We all set up in here?” he asked, taking in the podium that had been set up for your announcement.

“Not quite yet. They’re still working out a few bugs.”

“What’s the issue?” Poe asked.

“Naboo went completely off the grid after Y/N left,” Rey said. “They did everything in their power to block off any communications in and out of the planet, save a few. They’re trying to undo all of that now but it’s taking longer than expected.” Poe nodded his head and stood there silently for a few moments. Rey looked to you, expecting you to start up the conversation, but when she saw that neither of you were talking, she groaned.

“I”ll go see what’s keeping them. You two get reacquainted while I’m gone,” she said, smiling at the both of you as she left. You opened your mouth to stop her, but she was out the door quickly. Poe laughed at her quick escape and shook his head.

“I didn’t expect to see you,” you said quietly. He looked up at you and walked towards the table, taking a seat as far away from you that it wasn’t awkward. “After today I didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me.”

“Well, after Taris I didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me,” he said. You looked down at your hands and nodded.

“Poe, what else was I supposed to say? Was anything else going to get you to leave?”

“No,” he said after a pause. “I went on a mission, I don’t give up so easily.”

“I’m not a mission, Poe,” you said quietly. “But I’m back now.”

“For now, you mean,” he said. You rolled your eyes.

“I told you, I’m not running anymore.”

“Yeah, well--”

“I mean it,” you said sincerely. “I’ve lost too much to keep letting the First Order win and win and win. I came back to fight with the Resistance, but I also came back for you, Poe. I was wrong on Taris. I should have gone with you. Out of all the mistakes I made, I regret that one the most.”

He was silent for so long that you were almost certain he wasn’t going to say anything, until he stood up. He moved to the seat next to you and pulled out his Holopad. He got to work pulling up the footage that he was going to present to the galaxy.

“What is this?” you asked.

“It’s a village on the other side of Chandrila. Not much there. A couple factories, a school, homes you wouldn’t want to step foot in unless you absolutely had to.”

“What was the First Order doing there?”

“Well, it’s our fault, really. There was a man that worked in one of the factories. He was helping us smuggle in supplies. Things were going great for a few weeks when in the middle of the night we got a distress signal from him. I flew out there with Jess and we found the First Order attacking the entire village he lived in.

“We tried to save as many as we could, but once the Resistance fully got there, there wasn’t much left to save. Our contact was gone, along with eighty percent of his village.”

“They were just civilians?” you asked.

“Yeah, just a bunch of factory workers that had no idea who any of us were. Just got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“And you have footage of it?”

“Leia installed these new things in our gear. They record pretty much everything we do on our twenty-four hour basis. It usually deletes after a day or so, unless we save it. The footage is . . . well, let’s just say it’ll do exactly what Leia is hoping it’ll do. It shows the side of the First Order they’ve been trying to keep hidden for so long.

“But, you don’t have to watch it,” he said after a pause. “It’s really brutal stuff.”

“I want to see it,” you said gently. “I need to.”

“No more running,” he said with a gentle smile. You looked into his eyes and nodded your head.

“No more running.”

“Alright. It’s all yours,” he said, handing you the Holopad.

The entire time you were watching the horrific video, you felt Poe’s eyes on you. He didn’t speak for the entire time it played, but when you looked up at him with teary eyes he spared a small smile for you.

“Leaving you on Taris,” he said, taking in a deep breath, “Is one of the things I regret most, too.”

You reached across the table and gave his hand a squeeze, holding it in yours until Rey came in with the rest of the crew, ready to shoot your video for the galaxy.

#poe dameron #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #star wars imagine #sw #sw imagine #sw fanfic #sw fanfiction #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fanfiction #star wars #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction

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damn-stark · 4 years ago

Text

All That’s Left Ch.9

Star Wars au

A/N- ;) the calm before the storm...or is it??? Let me know your thoughts?!

Warning- Angst, some fluff, talks of PTSD, Poe being Poe ;) long chapter.

Pairing- Poe Dameron x reader

————

Hours felt like days. Days felt like years. The blond woman that you now knew as Amber, and her group of survivors were taking all of you from state line to state line. Once in the state of Colorado, now in a place called Salt? Lake city in Utah. Earth had the craziest names. Just like the weirdest people. Apparently asking for reassurance if they had found Finn and Chewbacca was an off topic question since all they answered with was weird looks and even more questionable silence.

Something felt off. Not only that, but Han Solo's warning about strangers made more sense as you sat in a car full of them.

Not only that, but, and maybe this problem was a little more irrelevant compared to the weird group, but Poe felt off. Distant. He wasn’t talking. Like at all. And this man can talk. He didn’t even talk to you. His eyes were always forward, his warm brown eyes reflecting the white cold winter snow outside the windshield. His head was resting on your shoulder; and maybe that’s why he hadn’t been talking, because he was sleeping. But you soon figured out during your long trip that he wasn’t. He was just simply quiet.

Something was off with Poe.

The only good thing that was happening was that your visions of...Ren, were not happening. And it was because Poe was next to you, unknowingly to him being the comfort you needed, but even he couldn’t make your nightmares disappear completely. He only provided comfort when you were awake—but that’s why avoiding sleep has been the right move. Even if this very long and soothing car ride was making that impossible.

The good thing is that you’re here. Or that’s what Amber announced. Wherever here is.

All you saw was an ugly big wall. Nothing but a wooden wall and snow. Usually when one hits the wall, they’re also welcomed by whatever camp is built. But not here. The driver kept going and going until it hit another wooden wall—Who the hell is building these walls?

“We’re here! Haven.” Amber announced cheekily, shifting her whole body around in her car to face the group of you. “A sanctuary for all kinds.”

Poe lifted his head to question her, her overly excited mood, unfaltered by his rather grumpy question. “Do you guys have the whole damn city or something? We drove for what seemed to be hours inside these walls.”

Ambers grin widened, seeming to brighten the car with just her cheery mood. “No, not yet. But we’re close. That’s why we pick up people we find on the road, so they join and keep building our community. That’s why we picked you up too.”

Poe scoffs, “well as honored as we are. We can’t. We need to go somewhere else.”

Amber stayed silent for a moment, her eyes drifting to the driver as her fingers dug into the leather seat, her face expression faltering before she looked at Poe again, answering his comment with the same enthusiasm as before. “That’s what everyone says, but they end up staying.”

Poe shows her a feigned smile and nods. “Okay. Sure.”

Suddenly the car door opened from the side you were sitting at, making your whole body jump at the unexpected action. The guy that opened the car door coming to an even more surprise with his clean attire. Without you realizing the car had come to a last stop in front of a brick building and Amber had gotten off in a hasty move. Only to stand by the building and wait for your small group and you to get off and slowly join her. Finally being able to stretch your legs that you swore had turned into stone from how stiff they were from being in the same position for hours. And you would have found more relief in finally being able to fully move, finally feeling like you could breathe in fresh air, but the sight of the street you were on shocked you to your core.

As far as you could see, the street was filled with nice houses, all clean and intact, trees and clean streets welcomed you. People. Families! Walked alongside the sidewalks like if the world they were living in was normal. Like if infected monsters weren’t outside ready to eat anyone who they could get. They smiled without a care in the world. They all looked clean and fancy. Not the type of military attire fancy like in the first order or resistance attire fancy, but like fancy in the way you see in movies with all those rich people. Only difference is these people here were dressed in warm clothing to block out the cold that was currently going. Overall it was just odd to see...maybe due to the fact that over the past ten years there hasn’t been much stability in your life like theirs. It’s always on the move. Never somewhere for too long.

“I am sorry to do this,” Amber spoke up with a twisted face, “but you guys are going to have to all stay in one place. It’s temporary! But for now while we make sure none of you are a threat to our people, we have to place you together and in a place where it’s going to be guarded. I am terribly sorry, but please understand it’s just precaution.”

Yeah, cause we all just didn’t spend hours in the same damn car! If any of us were going to try anything it would’ve happened already. Whatever.

“It’s okay,” Rey responded for the group with a sweet grin, “we understand. We’re okay being placed together.”

Amber grabbed Rey’s hands and cupped them, smiling again as she continued talking. “Thank you. We’ll get you all when it’s time for dinner. We’re having a small feast here. We’ll get you all when it’s time.”

Rey nodded as a response, watching as Amber let go of her hands before walking off. Letting the “guards” take you to the room. Which by the way wasn’t just one single room. It was a whole apartment. Kitchen and everything. It was from what you could see clean, just like everything else in this place. It had multiple rooms, all with clean sheets and full closets. None of that broken beds like in the cabin. Or sheets like from your tents. It was if you were being honest, incredible.

You smile and throw yourself on the bed, feeling a small bounce once your body makes impact with the mattress, feeling the warm, soft blankets under your fingertips as you run over the top, expressing a soft satisfied sigh at the simple feeling. “If this is supposed to be a cell, then it’s the best cell. I think I could die happy now. This feels amazing.” You express with a grin, obviously just a joke, but it wasn’t something Poe took lightly.

“Don’t joke like that.” Poe scoffed.

Immediately you lift your head and quirk your eyebrow. “Poe. It was a joke.”

Poe pushed himself off the doorway and just commented something under his breath. “Yeah sure is.”

First he doesn’t talk to you for hours and then he says this? What happened in that patrol with Ben before you all got picked up?

“I’m going to take a shower.” Poe announced, sounding almost like he was dreading to even talk, his face just really expressionless. His eyes completely avoided you as he walked past, throwing a quiet comment at Rey’s concern.

“Don’t fall in there.”

“Won’t.”

He was just tired. Right?

——

Sophisticated...this is exactly the word you would use to describe this whole stinking town and this fancy given outfit. At least all your grime and sweat was washed off your body and hair. Now you were a completely different but clean person. Someone who could barely recognize themselves in the mirror in front of them.

The signs of years worth of exhaustion were marked under your eyes, but that was something you wouldn’t ever be able to wash off. It would be neat if everyone could, right? Just say “I'm tired of these under eye bags!” And just wash it off with a splash of water. Alas you couldn't. A girl could dream. You were stuck with them, just like you were stuck wearing these ridiculous clothes. Clothes that left you wanting to be stuck inside instead. Not only because you were shy to walk out and show everyone. But because the damned sleeves didn’t cover your obvious bite mark on your hand. It would totally raise suspicion from those that weren’t part of your squad if they saw your mark. It would most likely cause an unnessaccary scandal. Then you would most likely go nowhere. Basing solely off on how weird these people were acting.

How you wish now that you were normal. Or at least able to hold Poe’s hand in public...that way you could hide your stupid scar. But no, you had to hide your relationship and well even if you didn’t, he was acting weird. He would most likely push you away if you touched him—hopefully you could talk soon. This not talking behavior is stupid and a little painful, so hopefully talk soon. After this weird feast.

Now what you had to do was walk out of the bathroom. That was easier….not really—you slowly open the bathroom door and turn off the lights and peek over the side of the door to see that Poe was sitting on the barstool by the counter Island, his attention on some book. Good; Ben and Rey were not in sight, but most likely waiting on you close by.

Quietly you step out and swallow thickly, already biting the inside of your cheek at how nerve-wracking this was feeling. “Please.” You say out loud, gaining everyone's attention. “save all your teasing for later...or actually just don’t say anything at all.” Finally stepping into the open space, Poe turned his head and that’s when you noticed that his jaw was not covered by the beard that had been growing too thick and too dark by the day. His jaw was clean and looked sharp, he looked cleaner and almost...no, HE did look younger without the beard. He looked great. Not like he didn’t look good with his beard on, because he did. He looked fucking great.

But there was something about him with no beard that made you get all flustered and feel your cheeks burn. Made your stomach do flips, and have an urge to kiss him grow dangerously tempting. Hopefully he didn’t notice…he smiled when he saw you, but let’s hope he didn’t catch on to you admiring him. Hopefully it was something else that made him smile and quickly look away before anyone noticed.

“Finally.” Ben huffed as he stood up from the couch, “you took forever.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “Sorry that the water felt like a liquid blessing, Ben. You know it’s just been awhile since either of us have been somewhere as clean as here.”

“Yeah, well it didn’t cost you anything to hurry up.”

You mouth what he said in a mocking manner, making Rey laugh and stand up from the couch as well, her attention going to you. “Well I think you look great y/n.”

“Thank you Rey.” You smile softly, “you look amazing too.”

“Amber is waiting for us outside. We were just waiting on you.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Ben opens the door and as expected, Amber was outside waiting. Wearing different clothes than the one she was wearing before but with the same smile on her face.

“It’s time. I hope everything has gone well.” She says, leading you all down the stairs as you all finally walk out, quietly but very intent. Not only to her, but her people, those walking the street towards where she was guiding you and those who had been outside the building you were just in. Was it wrong to still suspect them? They did provide a home with things that didn't have to be put inside since it’s a cell. But they did. That and well they had yet to do anything bad. But that has yet to be proved—“I know that the dress code is something weird, but this way it helps people get more comfortable here and feel like some part of their life, as small as it is, is normal.”

Rey being the only one to not keep her hanging, responds, “it’s understandable. The galaxy is crazy.”

Amber nods, “yeah. But hopefully one day, everything gets restored and put back to normal. At least a small part of it.”

You sigh at her words, falling back and tuning out the rest of her rambling, feeling Poe’s gaze linger on you, but share none of his concern or anything at all verbally. Just quietly watch you as you walk towards the music and the crowd of happy people. And happy kids.

You blink and feel like your jaw drops. It’s been a while since you’ve seen kids. It almost felt like they were just a legend now. With everything that went down with this virus, kids were rare to see—apparently not here though. Here they were running and laughing with no worry—As they should. They’re kids that shouldn’t worry about none of the dark stuff happening outside their walls. Hopefully soon those walls were going to be torn down and no one was going to have to worry about the monsters. Just about how everything was going to be rebuilt.

“You okay?”

You tear your eyes away from the view of the small kids and turn to Poe’s voice. Regardless of his silent behavior, expressing his worry—“Yeah. Just admiring the place.”

Poe hums, “yeah, it’s...different.”

“Is this like your base?” You question, stopping and watching as Amber left your group to wonder alone now, getting left by the multiple wooden tables that had chatting and laughing people around them. Everyone doing their own thing. Some eating, others talking, dancing to the music as night began to fall, watching and smiling. Overall a dreamlike sequence. It was so weird. A good weird.

If you didn’t have to leave, you wouldn’t mind staying.

“Not really,” Poe answers you. “It’s a lot smaller. Not as many kids or people actually. More serious and full of war shit. Nothing like this.” His eyes wandered the crowd, continuing to walk after Ben and Rey as they went towards the food area, both just like you keeping an eye out for anything strange, or your missing crew members. “I don't think you’ll like it.”

You shrug, “you don’t know that. If anyone is as good as you, then I think I’ll fit in.”

Poe’s eyes land on you, the corner of his lips lifting somewhat before it fell back to a frown. “Can we talk later?”

Oh. Well. That’s not terrifying. Nothing good happened when someone said those four words, especially not when they looked as serious as he did now. Maker. What did he want to talk about?

You offer him a tight lipped smile and nod. “Yeah….no problem.”

——

Maker.

Thank you a lot Poe. All because of those words, their was no time to enjoy what these people had to offer. You couldn’t even enjoy the food that tasted like actual heaven—that could be exaggerated due to the fact that food was scarce before, but there's no other word to describe the food. And maybe there would have been other adjectives to use. But Poe’s words were anxiously eating at you.

The only thing you did and could really notice was that maybe these people weren’t as dangerous as you suspected. Just a little awkward. Cautious. A nerve settling fact unlike Poe quietly walking behind you, his boots crunching on the snow proving the only noise that he made. Not until you finally spoke up after ten minutes of waiting for him to do so.

“We’re getting closer…” you sigh, “to your base.”

Poe hums, his pace a couple feet behind you, making it hard to read his face. Not like you needed to read it that much, he’s had that serious, long face all day—well except that one single moment at the apartment after he saw you all dressed up for the first time.

“But I don’t want to go without Finn or chewbacca. I—”

“What if we took you to the first order instead?” Poe interrupted, making you instantly stop under the lamppost, lifting your head to then slowly turn to meet his gaze. Noticing his eyes were on the ground. “Ben said—”

You scoff, “Ben said? Poe, don’t tell me you’re listening to him, whatever he did say, don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know anything.”

“But if he’s right about this?” Poe quickly interjected, his eyes lifting to meet yours. “When we went out to patrol, what if he’s right? What if your brother is telling the truth. We have to risk it if it means you getting to live.”

You shake your head and shoot him pointed look. “First of all, no. I’m not giving myself to the first order, or my brother. Even what he said was true, I can’t. The first order is not a good place, it’s dark, and manipulative. They don’t want what’s good for the galaxy. We can’t trust the First Order, or Armitage intentions. We can’t switch sides.”

Poe huffs, shaking his head and placing his hands on his hips, his eyebrows furrowed and his glare directed to you. “It’s not about switching sides, y/n. It’s about keeping you alive.”

“No.” You repeat in a stern tone. One that even surprised you. “I told you already, if it means that I have to give my life up, I’ll do it. My immunity has to mean something Poe. Giving that to the First Order would mean nothing, everything that happened, the people that I cared about that died because of this would be all for nothing.”

This was it, wasn’t it? His weird behavior. Because Ben put this in his head. They both knew your choice. They both should understand your choice. Especially Poe, if no one else understood, it was supposed to be him.

“Please tell me you understand that, Poe, that you respect my choices.”

Poe sighs, running his hands through his hair and briefly looking to the night sky before looking at you again. His anger somewhat simmered down, but not completely. “I do. I do. It’s just, do you really want to die all to provide a cure? You don’t even want to try and live?”

“Not if it means giving it to the first order. They’re monsters, they won’t do the right thing. Trust me.” You carefully walk towards him and cup his cheek, offering him a assuring smile as you continued. “I have to do this. For people like Zorii, Ben’s dad, my sister. So you and everyone else can live without fear that any day some ugly monster could end their life in an instant. I have to do this. And I know it’s going to hurt, but please respect my choice. If not anyone else, please let it be you. Because I did tell you before, and you accepted the risks.”

Poe’s face falls, his eyes soft and saddened, his tears held in and well hidden as he rested his forehead on yours. The words he expressed soft with the same hint of sadness. “I think I’m starting to regret my choice of risking it all,” he sighs, his hand cradling yours on his cheek, whilst he brings it down to kiss your bite scar, proceeding to slowly move your hand back to his cheek and easing into the touch; “maybe life isn’t all about taking risks. Not when it comes to this anyway.”

There's something about the way he expresses his words that makes your heartbeat pick up, to feel a knot in your stomach. Were these words said before a breakup? Was he doing that now? It was going to happen. But it didn’t mean you wanted it to happen. At least not yet. Not when he unknowingly was what was keeping you sane and grounded. Should you say something? Stop him?

No….if he was going to do it. Then...so be it.

He continues with his eyes locked on yours. “Because the more time passes by. The more,” He pauses and his adams’s apple raises before he slowly lets it fall back. “The more that last goodbye is starting to hurt.”

You nod, “I know.”

Poe shows a small soft smile, leaning his face closer to your own. Not caring if Ben or Rey could be around to catch how close you were. Unlikely that they were since they were still at that...feast. Regardless Poe didn’t care at all, leaning so close that your lips brushed against his, feeling and seeing the warm breaths come out of his nose. Swearing that you could hear his heartbeat under his layers of clothing, just like swearing that his words were just whispers of the wind as his mumbling almost blended with it.

“Y/N, I—”

He promised.

Before he could finish his sentence you pressed your lips on his, feeling his jaw cold and smooth after his new clean shaved look under your fingertips. He tried to hold back his smile, but it was impossible the moment you began to deepen the kiss. His hands slowly slid down to your hips to pull you closer, while his head moved back and his teeth lightly bit down on your bottom lip, all before he fully pulled away and showed you that smug smile of his.

You mirrored his smile and stroked his jaw with your thumb; “You know i'm liking this clean shave you have going on.”

Poe smirks, “yeah? Now my beard won’t scratch you.”

You scoff, “Poe.”

He chuckles and takes you in for another long kiss, beginning to feel warm on the cold winter night. “Can we please go do it on a bed? While Ben and Rey are gone.” You comment as you pull away, his smirk deepening before he took your hand in his.

“Fine, but if they catch us. It’s your fault.”

You huff. “Sure, whatever.”

“Also,” Poe adds cheekily. “I haven’t told you yet, but you look fucking amazing.” He wraps his arm around your shoulders and kisses the side of your head. “You look beautiful.”

You giggle and lean your head on his shoulder. “So do you.”

——

Quietly, very quietly you pick up your shoes off the ground and tiptoe to the door. It’s not that you kept quiet for Poe’s sake, not because you wanted to leave him sleeping on the bed while you snuck off, like some late night booty call, because one, you weren’t, two the sucker was inside the bathroom inside his master bedroom. Why the necessity to claim such a big room? Who knew? All you did know was that you hoped that neither Ben, or Rey were outside in the living room to see your attempts at sneaking out of your secret boyfriends room. It would be awkward and terrible if Ben found out right when you were all so close to finish this mission.

What would he do if he did find out? Skin Poe and you alive or glare at you to death? Hopefully neither.

However, you press your ear on the door and wait for a moment with a held in breath, moving your hand away from your chest to let it hover over the doorknob, very slowly and lightly pressing your hand over the metal, and beginning to twist it when Poe’s hand slammed on the wood, scaring your every nerve.

“Where are you sneaking off to?”

“Oh my stars,” you breathe as you rest your head on the door and again hold onto your chest, breathing in a shaky breath before turning to face him. “You’re an ass, first of all I was almost dying of anxiety because I was scared if Rey or Ben would be out there, and then you come and scare me even more.” Poe chuckles and let’s his hand rest above your head and on the wooden door, his eyes clearly revealing a happy gleam to them.

“Stay a bit longer.” he suggested softly, his free hand cradling your cheek. “Just a little bit. I can’t keep you til morning, but I can keep you with me a bit longer. Please.”

You sigh and ease into his touch, already offering him an apologetic look. “Poe, you know we can’t. Plus we still need to find Finn and chewie.” You offer him an assuring smile and cup his cheek. “I’m sorry.”

Poe looks down to the ground for a moment and nods slowly, pressing his tongue on the inside of his cheek, the happy gleam losing light. “Yeah, I understand.”

“Don’t.”

He looks up and furrows his eyebrows. “What?”

“Don’t do that face. I feel bad already and you looking all sad just makes me feel worse. You know if I could stay longer I would. I don’t think you’d be able to keep me away.”

Poe let’s out an amused huff of air and let a faint smile tug at the corner of his lips.

“But,” You continue once he stays quiet. “I am going to say this. I’m happy you’re doing better, you know after Zorii and what not.”

Poe inhales deeply and slowly lets out his breath. “Yeah, little by little. You’re definitely helping though.”

“Pfft.” You breathe out, feeling your whole face burn up at his purely innocent comment. “I haven’t-I haven’t done anything.”

“Sure you have.” He shares as he lifts your chin with his knuckle, his lips pulled into a soft smile. “You don’t know how much having you by me helps. You may not be able to say a lot, but it’s the quiet and small gestures that count. Thank you for that and for being there when I got angry, you didn’t have to accept my apology or treat me the way you did, but you did. Thank you sweetheart.”

You smile wide and lean in to press a small kiss on his lips, his face lighting up at the gesture and only faltering for a second. His lips parting again but instead choosing that silence was the better option.

“You’ll tell me if something’s wrong right? I mean you haven’t talked a lot about what happened after you helped Ben. I just want you to know you can trust me with anything.”

You swallow thickly and frown. “Yeah, I know. It’s just—” it would’ve been the perfect time to tell him of the visions you had seen, but you didn’t want to worry him. Not when he had to worry about the whereabouts of Finn and his droid. You know he was worried about that, even if he didn’t reveal such worry. “It's just I haven't really thought of it.” You lied. “I’m doing okay.”

He hesitates to respond but he does so with a short nod, his eyes searching yours intently. “Okay...well.” He pushes himself off the door and drops his hand to his side. “Leave me alone then.” He said mocking being hurt by your choice to leave. “see if I care.”

You snort and lift yourself on your tiptoes to press a kiss on his lips. “Don’t miss me, Dameron. I’ll be down the hall.”

Poe smirks and steps to the side as you begin to open the door, your smile glued on your face as you think of your night and the person who had everything to do with making even the smallest moments great. Your heart skipping a beat at the simplest thought of him. And just when you were going to look over your shoulder to comment on one last thing, the view of Rey in front of you made your heart drop and feel as if all the blood on your face had just flushed away.

“R-Rey.” Nice try for subtlety. Shit. “Hi.” You quickly close Poe’s door and press your back on the wood. “You’re back.”

Rey smiles nervously, her eyes shifting from the door and to you before she clears her throat and speaks up. “I knocked on your door and you didn’t answer. I poked my head inside because I thought you weren’t there. But you’re here. Are you okay?”

Your eyes widen and look over her shoulder to check for the tall man that had to be around. Luckily not behind her. “Y-yep. Just needed help with something.” Help? Really? Yeah with your shirt and shoes in your hand and a simple tank top on your body. Poe is probably laughing behind the door. “Something wrong?” You queried.

Rey nods and plays with her fingers, her whole demeanor displaced in an awkward manner. “I was looking for Poe and you actually.” She pauses and looks at the door. “Is he in there?”

You scratch the back of your head and nod. “Yep. Yep.” You slide the side to let her get to the door, feeling your heart hammer in your chest when the silence covers the both of you. Just when you were about to go to “your” room, Rey turns around to face you again, her smile more mischievous.

“Are you and..Poe, together?”

Was it possible for someone’s heart to actually stop? Like really stop?

Because if it were. That would be your heart now. No rhythm to signify you were actually alive whatsoever. Just dead. Like the corpses that roamed the earth.

“N-no.” You stammer, laughing nervously and shaking your head. “No. No. I just needed help!”

Rey chuckles and quirks her eyebrow. “You’re funny, you know that. You can tell me, I’m not going to judge you or prevent you from dating him. I’m no one to do anything like that.”

This was happening. This was actually happening. So much for keeping this a secret.

You shake your head and run your fingers through your hair. “Is Ben here?”

“No.”

You gulp and open Poe’s door, knowing he was eavesdropping on your conversation, seeing him run a hand through his curls and feigning that he was just going to open the door, his eyes widening at the sight of Rey and you in front of him. A feigned smile growing on his lips. “Hey, Rey.”

Said girl smiles wider, her eyes bouncing from Poe and you. “So are you guys together?”

“Y-yeah.” You nod, inhaling shakily, “but.” You breathe out. “You can’t under any circumstance tell Ben. We’re being serious, he’s got this weird rule for me. And if he found out, I don’t know what he would do.”

Rey nodded in apprehension, not questioning either of you.

“I’m being serious, Rey. Promise me you won’t say anything.”

“I promise, y/n.” She assures you. “Well, now that I have the both of you here, I have some news to share.” She grins, “we found Finn, Chewie and BB8.”

“Really?” Poe asked excitedly. “Where are they?”

“It seems that Finn wasn’t out with the rest of the community, because some girl named Jannah had invited him to dinner. Chewie and BB8 were with him too.”

You sigh in relief and finally smile, only having to roll your eyes at Poe’s comment as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “That’s my man. Couple days here and he already has a girl. He learns well.”

Rey shakes her head and mirrors your reaction. Only she didn’t scoff like you. “So what? You’re going to get a girl now too?”

“No, why would I?” He smiles cheekily, pulling you closer to him. Taking full advantage that Rey knew to show his affection that would have been avoided if she didn’t. “I have my girl right here. I don’t need anyone else.”

“Cute.” You remark.

“I’ll say.” He then looks over to Rey, “what are we waiting for? Let’s go see my droid.”

——

“Chewie!” At the sight of the furry sentient, you run up to him and jump into his waiting arms, his hold securing you against his warm fur and body, temperature contrasting the winter wonderland outside. “I’m so glad you’re okay!” Said Wookiee, roars softly in response, his comment that you barely got to understand just as welcoming and nice as yours had been. “Of course I missed you!” You show him a happy smile as you pull away from the embrace, managing to catch as BB8 rolled to Poe in a speed faster than Lightspeed, beeping happily at the sight of his owner.

Finn steps back and away from Poe and BB8 letting the pair have their precious time reuniting, the small droid chirping away and telling Poe every single detail of his adventure after they got separated.

You giggle at the sight, watching..or more like admiring Poe listen to everything his droid had to say and the grin he had on his features. It’s not until Finn catches your attention do you pull your eyes away and quickly wrap the man in a tight embrace. “I'm so happy you’re okay, I thought you were lost or these people had done something to you.” You explain, feeling as he tightened his embrace around you, chuckling as a response to your comment. “They were so...weird when it came to answering about you.”

“No, were all okay. I just think they weren’t really sure of our names. Amber hesitates when she has to say my name. I have to remind her of who I am.” He pulls away and puts his hands on your shoulders, “I’m happy that you missed me though.”

You scoff, “yeah, I got tired of seeing Poe’s face all the time.”

Poe stood to his given height and glared at you, teasing you nonetheless. “Sure you did.”

“I’m really glad you’re okay, Finn.” You reassure the man in front of you. “We thought we had lost you, glad that’s not the case.”

“Missed you too, y/n.” He smiles, completely breaking away to once again share his excitement of reuniting with his best friend. Both acting as if neither of them had seen each other in years—It was understandable their excitement, but it was just funny to see. They were like two excited little kids. It was reliving as well. To see Poe happy. He deserved to be this way after what happened. They all did.

“Y/N?”

You break away from your thoughts and see Ben standing by you now, his eyes downcasted and his whole body seeming to be frozen to the snow. Only it wasn’t because he was cold, but because he was nervous. That much you could tell.

“Yeah?”

Ben scratches the back of his hand and exhales deeply, beginning to walk and follow by your side as your group moves forward and back to the security and warmth of “your” shared house. “I just want to say,” he stammers nervously, “that I’m sorry.”

His words catch you by surprise, your feet still moving forward but your mind totally blanking, or exploding. Either or, you were still surprised by his words. Once he noticed your shocked silence, he continued. “You didn’t deserve me saying anything that I said to you. You’re not a burden. I was just mad and said shit I didn’t mean. I’m sorry.”

You begin to bite the inside of your cheek as you slowly nod, really letting his words sink in before you talked. “It’s….okay. I’m used to words like that.”

“But it doesn’t mean you have to continue hearing them. I had no right to say anything.” He interjected quickly. Again he ran a hand through his raven black hair, his brown eyes lifting to watch you, a softer look expressed within. “Also, I want to say. Thank you. You saved me, without you Ren would have killed me. I appreciate what you did deeply. Thank you.”

You breath hitches and you stop in your steps, the horrible memory of the spoken man and what you did flashing in your mind like a torturous reminder. Ben notices and stops a bit away from you, his eyebrows knotting in concern. “Are you okay?”

Your eyes flicker to Poe who is talking away with Finn, his arm around said man, thankfully not noticing you and Ben falling behind.

“It’s just.” You begin shakily, not knowing why out of everyone he was the one you confided your (Other) secret to. “After I…after it happened. I’ve been seeing him. Having nightmares. It’s always the same. Lately they’ve calmed down.” Because of Poe, but that fact had to be hidden. “But they—they hurt. Not in a physical way. But mentally and emotionally. They don’t let me sleep and sometimes I can’t tell what’s real or not. It’s-it’s messing with me.”

Ben swallowed thickly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he decided what to say to you to bring you comfort. Even if he suffered through the same PTSD, only with the death of his father—“I understand.” He revealed softly, “after my father died, I haven’t been able to be the same. It can be draining. I didn’t think it was going to affect me that way, but you’ve seen that it has.”

Your lips part at his revelation. Not at all expecting his confession. Not knowing that because of your talk, a dark motive sparked in his head.

“But.” He continued. “I know it will get better. I promise you. I can help you through it if you want?”

You smile softly and shake your head. “I’ll be fine. I just need time. But if you need my help...I know what it feels like losing someone.” You sigh and feel your eyes water at the incoming thought. “Having to watch them turn...I lost my sister that way too. I know it can be painful and I’m sorry that you had to go through that.”

Ben breathes out deeply again, his eyes falling to the snow before he looks at you, “thank you y/n. Really. I hope we can be friends.”

“I thought you said no attachments?” You tease.

Ben smiles. A genuine smile. “You can have friends, I guess. Regardless I said you couldn’t and you broke that rule the first day.”

You chuckle and nod. “Yeah I did.” You both continue to walk after your friends, enjoying each other’s company after your much needed confessions. “But yeah,” Carefully you lock your arm around his and rest your head on his shoulder. Or at least try. This man was tall. “We can be friends.”

Ben smiled shyly, the dark thought almost becoming a decided and firm choice after this sweet and short shared moment. Like if someone was influencing him. Like someone was feeding him what he wanted to hear, convincing that regardless of your choice he had to save you.

He couldn’t lose you like he lost his father. You couldn’t suffer the same fate as your sister.

Ben just couldn’t lose you.

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