#i also tend to have a very long wallowing-in-the-text phase when i find a new thing i love

[thecrenellations]

Is the lymond chronicles something I can get into if I know little of history and do not speak many romance languages?

Yes! I mean, it depends on your reading preferences and how you feel about being confused, but I certainly did!

That's my short answer! If you give them a try, I hope you find the series worth it, and I believe that what you like in a story will matter more than what you do or don't know going in.

My much longer answer, about my reading experience, is ....

In my case, I knew the names of monarchs and had a vague familiarity with the setting of the first book (Tudor/1540s Scotland and England). I speak a useful amount of French and a tiny bit of Spanish. Comparing experiences with friends, French was an especially helpful language to have, but I feel confident saying that I would have loved these books without it.

The thing about The Game of Kings (book 1) is that it’s just confusing. Dorothy Dunnett wastes no time in throwing political intrigue, multilingual references, and many characters at you. But even if you’re an expert in the history and in (modern and archaic) English, French, Latin, Spanish, Scots, and a little bit of Italian and German, you are faced with a protagonist who’s running back and forth across the border and interfering with that history … while guarding his goals and motives, explaining nothing about his past, and constantly quoting poetry from the personal library of a mind he doesn’t want to let anyone inside. Most of the people he meets don’t understand him, either.

For me, it was so rewarding when I finally started to learn what was happening and who he is, and after that the ride truly began…

I did not look up many references or translations and just kinda went with it. I was enjoying myself enough that I didn’t mind that so much was going over my head (especially if it was coming out of Lymond’s mouth), and within a few chapters I’d gotten invested in one of the characters (Christian!) and was entranced by a recurring joke/element. By the second section (let’s say … 175 pages in …), I was hooked, obsessed with a second character (Will!), interested in most of the rest, and having a great time.

There’s a character list in non-audio editions (the David Monteath audiobooks are very good, though), and companion books exist with translations/sources for many of the references. There are also various online recaps and chapter-by-chapter discussions. Looking things up yourself as you go along can reduce confusion, but be warned that many of the characters are versions of real people, so you may learn more than you want to know, such as when they die. 470-year-old spoilers, but still.

For me, the characters (complexity, parallels, relationships) and writing (playfulness, beauty, INCREDIBLE use of perspective and unreliable narration) are what make the books so good. They reward rereading, so, when/if you return, you’ll have another chance to go down some reference rabbit holes, and even if you don’t, you will understand much more.

The second book is generally agreed to be easier to understand! Also, there are elephants.

Perhaps more important than knowledge of history and languages is the reader's tolerance for …

angst. pain. agony. devastating reminders of prior angst and pain and agony

on the flipside, truly ridiculous antics, hijinks, and capers

many, many kinds of traumatic/potentially triggering content

bias/bigotry that shows up in characters’ perspectives and in general (not that newer media is free of this, but these books are from the 1960s and 70s, for context)

occasional elements that stretch the definition of historical fiction

revelations about your favorite authors’ influences (this was fun)

excessive reference to and description of Lymond’s beauty

half? a third? a large amount of the cast being in love with Lymond. This made for way more queer text than I knew to expect, which was great, but also … oh my god everyone is in love with him

the most bantering banter to ever banter, mostly, but certainly not entirely, courtesy of Lymond

Thanks for asking! If any of this raises more questions, ask again!

related: my lymond recs tag. There are mild and out-of-context spoilers, but these posts all sum up something about the series. :)

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[dragonflymage]

38 INFPs Explain How They Heal Themselves After A Heartbreak

Each type handles heartbreak a little differently. As feeling-dominant types, INFPs often feel heartbreak incredibly intensely – but that doesn’t mean they can’t move past it healthily and successfully. Below, 38 INFPs share what they do to heal their hearts when they’ve been broken. 

1. “Don’t deny or avoid your emotions – deal with them. Avoiding the pain prolongs the agony. The process is like an onion – peeling it back (cry, mourn, pain, anger, acceptance) one layer at a time. Be gracious with yourself. Experiencing heartbreak is like experiencing a death -their presence no longer exists in your life but they are still alive. Appreciate the memories you made but take the lessons learned. Don’t let your heart break over an upgrade. You may not realize why it ended today but with understanding and perspective with time bring healing.”

2. “Open up your senses and get in touch with the physical world. Go for more nature walks, go for runs, and find something new and exciting, where you can channel your introverted feeling. Read meditation books. This is also a time to pursue your passions and to focus on yourself (and career).”

3. “Heartbreak was a very real thing for me. I felt it so incredibly deeply that nothing else seemed real for awhile. I held on tight to the possibility of him and I working out eventually. All that did was cause more pain and made me look like a fool being strung along by a guy who didn’t really know how to end things. What I had to do was separate myself completely. I had to quit him cold turkey. He was one of my best friends, so that was hard. We dated for nearly five years; he felt like a part of me. I had to stop myself from texting him when I missed talking. And I couldn’t respond to his messages or snapchat. I couldn’t run to him for support any more, and I couldn’t be at his beckon call. He broke my heart, so he doesn’t deserve my attention. I had a hard time letting go because I felt like if he didn’t love me, no one could. He knew so much about me that no one else knew, therefore, the true me must be unlovable. I would tell other INFPs that they need a support system. Don’t turn in on yourself when you’re hurting because this will ultimately lead to foolish mistakes. Talk to trusted friends and stay away from the one who hurt you. You will find someone worthy of your deep love and they will make your heart soar even higher than before.”

4. “Honestly, I cannot let go until I have been destroyed completely.”

5. “Read books that address grief…listen to music, be around people who are nurturing rather than draining.”

6. “Leave. Just ran away keep running away. Till one day. Its fine again. We never forget the special one. But we eventually allow ourself to remember to love ourself more.”

7. “I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’ve gone through a heartbreak that felt as deep as if I was in one. Such is dominant Fi. I spent a lot of time rationalizing how he made me feel and giving chances, alternating between love, hate, anger, pain, tears before I was finally able to move on. Completely cutting contact is the only thing that worked in the end. Both physically and mentally. I actually became addicted to him, which is not something I recommend to anyone. Through this ordeal though, I realized I do have worth, and have been working on building self-confidence. It’s still going to take a lot of time to heal my trust in people, but learning from your mistakes is something that is highly underestimated. There are usually underlying reasons why we’re attracted to toxic people or those with the same personality patterns. Find that pattern, and learn the whys of your inner psyche instead of moving on to repeat the same mistake.”

8. “After a heartbreak, I crawl back into myself – take some time to reflect. I tend to do a lot of journaling and watching movies that make me feel less alone. I think as an INFP – it is a good plan to take a little break from the world and heal yourself.”

9. “I give myself permission to feel my feelings. I make it a point not to be so hard on myself and take more blame for the demise of the relationship. I listen to music and delve into the things that feed me creatively.”

10. “Definitely avoid listening to music/the radio. Pretty much every song will suddenly magically relate to the lost relationship and stir up All Of The Feels.”

11. “First I internalize everything and silently suffer for a really long time. I think about nothing else, and it comes out in everything I do. After I’ve finally exhausted poetry, songs, dreams and daydreams and I’ve re-lived it and thought it through upside down and backwards, I’m able to realize not to take it too personally. I am still whole, and a human being with beautiful dreams and desires. Heartbreak doesn’t make me less of a person, even though I might feel like it. I just try to accomplish little things, like clean my room and pay extra attention to the way I look–little things that will make me just a teeny bit happier. I guess my advice to other INFPs would be to just allow yourself to feel. Don’t internalize it or pretend it isn’t there. Write poetry, and listen to sad songs. Journal, think, create, and process while you do it. Letting it all out and acknowledging your pain will make it easier to think about, and place in your past once you’ve fully dealt with it.”

12. “Wallow, obsess, cry, write, lie in bed depressed, eat junky foods.. I’m not saying these things are all healing, but it’s what I do when heartbroken.”

13. “I journal through the heartbreak. I cry until I no longer can. I isolate myself more that usual to process everything, but I make sure to spend quality time with supportive friends and family when I’m not a complete emotional mess. I write love letters to people in my life that have positively impacted me (and send them). I write gratitude lists of all the things I’m thankful for. I try to immerse myself in nature where it’s quite and peaceful (I definitely recommend hiking). I also make time for the things I enjoy, like going to concerts and getting a massage. If a fellow INFP is facing heartbreak, I would definitely advise them to journal and write about the experience and their feelings. I’ve created good poetry out of heartbreak. Another thing that I did that helped heal myself was volunteering in my community and serving others.”

14. “Talk to a trusted friend. Pray. Journal. And when strong enough, reach out to others who need encouragement and help – don’t allow yourself to wallow too long.”

15. “I talk, talk, talk with friends about the heartbreak. I listen to music that understands. I go places where big crowds of people are having a great time, to remind myself that none of those people even know the person who broke my heart, but they’re having a great time anyway. This is a good way to remind myself that the world doesn’t revolve around that person. I swim laps. It’s not just refreshing and good exercise, it’s also that the rushing water in your ears blocks out all the noise and quiets things down inside you. I write about it, but I try to keep the writings private and resist the temptation to post them online where the person can see it. I go on vacation but don’t post any pictures or blog about it where the person can see it. I revel in doing things I love that that person hates. Chances are, I’m just coming out of a phase where I tried to convince myself I hated those things too, just to appeal to that person. Advice? I don’t know. Just try to remember that it won’t always hurt this much.”

16. “I listen to music or watch/read something. It helps to know that others are going through the same issues as me, or have gone through them in the past. It helps to hear lyrics that fit my situation or see characters who are struggling with the same things I am struggling with. Also Disney Movies and Chocolate Ice Cream is always a good idea!”

17. “Write a list of all the things that bothered me about the person I’m heartbroken about. Keep referring to it when I feel said. Write everything, for example, his toes were too hairy. Connect with my friends and family and tell them how I’m feeling and ask them for their momentary support. Apologize for being needy. Keep to my normal routine. Read anything that I think will help me recover more quickly. Get back on the horse even though I don’t want to. Remind myself that life is just experience and it’s only my perception that makes it a good or bad experience. Try to convince myself that this was a good experience.”

18. “I usually spend a lot of time writing about it. Letters to the person that I don’t send , just keep in a notebook. I also spend a lot of time alone, to process it. I try to move slowly and gently as well. I don’t know why it helps but it does. I cry a lot, on purpose, to get it out. And then after a certain amount of time, talk to the people close to me about it. After different perspectives and support, it’s easier to handle. I would suggest to INFP types to let yourself feel the pain and to let others support you.”

19. “When you’re going through heartbreak as an INFP, make sure you take care of yourself physically. And even though you might want to curl up in a ball and hide in the closet, call a friend. Reach out and ask for help.”

20. “I grieve hard, and feel like I will never love again, like nothing else in the world matters but the intensity of my sadness. I need to not isolate, to be with loved ones, to keep open to love, to listen to heart breaking music and sob till nothing is left. I need to lie under the stars, to pull the pieces of myself back in, to get creative, to eat well and keep hydrated, to maintain my yoga practice.. Or at least, this is all good advice for me!”

21. “Try to find balance between rest, fun, and work. During heartbreak, I often go into hibernation and stay in bed all the time. At the same time, if I make myself too busy with fun and work, that will ultimately make my situation a lot worse, and I will most likely break down even worse than before. I would say make sure to hang out with friends and go out, to remind yourself there are still good things in life, and to remind yourself that you can have a good life. At the same time, be gentle with yourself, and take time to watch TV and drink tea. That’s important too.”

22. “Watch films about breakups (I.e. Forgetting Sarah Marshall), films or TV that will make me laugh. You’ve just got to ride the wave of sadness, and try to surround yourself with the things you love and enjoy.”

23. “First thing, I give myself time. I feel too deeply, too violently and a heartbreak can be destructive for me. So I rest, take time to heal.I spend a lot of time alone in the beginning. I sleep a lot, take the time to cry. I do things that appease me. Then I see people who help me: friends who make me feel secure, family I feel comfortable with. I write a lot to get the feelings out. The advice I’d give is take your time, don’t be embarrassed if it takes a lot, accept all the feelings, let them surround you, and deal with them in the way you’re used to it. INFPs know. They know how it feels to be crushed by emotions. So they cope all in their own way. But mostly in alone time and thinking and seeking comfort from their trusted and loved ones.”

24. “I honestly just have to give myself a few days to ride out the emotions, absorbing them and feeling overwhelmed. Listening to music helps, and exercising. Then, after I’ve felt like I’ve allowed myself enough time just to feel and start to accept it, I get busy. I try something new, get into a different atmosphere than the one I was in, and immerse myself in life other than what I feel. Even so, it can take months, even years, to feel like I’ve finally accepted it and can move on, depending on the situation. My advice to other INFPs is to just take one day at a time, and remember that each day is a new start – you can choose to be whoever you want. The situation hurt you, but didn’t break you because you’re still here. You and your worth are not defined by it either, so don’t let a bump in the road be a pit you get stuck in.”

25. “I can tend to fixate on my hurt feelings and the loss of a really great idea that I had been so focused on. (This is usually accompanied by lots of sleeping, chocolate, and sappy movies/music.) To move on I tend to focus on remembering who I am as an individual and what I care about, and I try to find things to look forward to or get excited about to occupy my thoughts and time.”

26. “Phase 1: Whenever possible, I cloister myself away. I write in my journal to get some perspective, call my friends for marathon conversations, eat comfort foods, binge-watch TV series, cry it out, sleep, rinse, and repeat. The goal of this phase is to: (A) get comfortable with being a single, companion-less entity again, (B) work through my emotions and memories to understand the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of the end of the relationship, and (C) identify a way to move forward, keeping in mind the lessons learned. Phase 2: I make plans to go out and be with friends, keep myself busy, work on personal projects I’d been putting off, maybe do something different with my hair, start learning something new (in my case, I’d pick a language). This helps to prevent falling into a perpetual depression if Phase 1 drags out. If I stick with Phase 2 long enough, I’ll get over it. Once my Fi has been given the attention it needs, engaging my Ne is the best way to bounce back, be happy, and feeling like myself again.”

27. “Don’t take it too personally; don’t let that inner voice destroy you. It helps me to withdraw a little, take time to relax and contemplate. Also exercise has done wonders for me.”

28. “Give yourself time to grieve, and heal. Grief has no time limit, so take as much time as you need. We INFP’s take things so personally, and we are famous for internalizing our sorrow. So, I urge you, take care of yourself, go out with friends and embrace your family. Forgive them, and yourself too.”

29. “I’ve been recently heartbroken, so this experience is very fresh to me yet. After a long time of staying in bed crying and wishing to go back in time to change things that I’ve done, I finally started to do things that I usually liked to do, to try and see the good things in the world again. The most important thing I learned was self control. I had to control my emotions, not think about the past, and change completely the way I treated this person. I try not to dwell on impossible dreams, and focus my attention on the little things I love and in the possibilities of the future. It’s very hard, and it took me months to be able to do that! I still talk to him because we’re still friends, but now I’m changing and letting the past behind. I know everybody say that, but we do survive. The future IS bright and full of possibilities, and we just have to let time heal our wounds. Don’t isolate yourself completely. Respect your healing and alone time, but you’re not alone. Rely on your closest friends and family members and let yourself be loved. In time, you will heal and become a new person. Even though it hurt like hell, you will see it as a lesson.”

30. “I honestly just let it hurt and cry it out. Holding it in never made much sense to me. It’s never been hard for me to let people go either. Don’t forget the good times but understand that it’s time for a new adventure.”

31. “Hide under the covers as long as possible. Talk to a close friend who won’t mind the endless dissection and analysis of what went wrong. Time time time.”

32. “Write down everything you feel and think about, ask yourself questions, logical questions and take your time answer them. I know you will find the answers by your own cause you’re smart and you always do. it’s okay to be hurt life isn’t perfect so are people, you were sincere and loyal it’s not your fault it’s not that they didn’t love you as much as you do but it’s how life is, stop wasting your time and energy. it will probably take long time until you’re able to go on and forgive or stop missing them, but remember that what happened doesn’t mean you won’t be able to trust or love anyone again, it just mean that you have now more experience and more In-depth thoughts and wisdom about who you wanna fall in love with, who you want to be in your life and who you can trust. finally, after you take your time being alone and communicating with your emotions and thoughts it’s probably the right time to be around your amazing friends have fun and enjoy the jokes and be in the moment. Smile, laugh and interact spontaneously because it’s the time to feel alive again.”

33. “I get obsessed wit the gym. I lie to myself and tell myself I’m okay. But honestly, I’m not sure I ever really get over it.”

34. “The INF combination will cause all sorts of issues – the I wants to reflect on what happened, almost to an obsessive point; the N will wonder what you could have done and will lament over what could have been; and the F is simply sad. So while it’s okay to reflect (I), it’s also a time to look forward to a new normal. This will activate the N in thinking of possibilities. The F will recover – just give it time. It’s okay to feel happy again, and it’s okay to still be sad sometimes.”

35. “I tend to take a lot more time to myself than I usually do. I cry, I sit in silence, I meditate I talk to myself and to God. When I have to do things, I put on some kind of music or a podcast to distract the language processing part of my brain from all the nasty ways it tries to convince me it’s somehow all my fault. Eventually, the ache fades enough for me to talk about it with those closest to me (usually my sister). As an introvert, I find that have to give myself a lot more time than others seem to before I can start to push myself to move on.”

36. “I faced a recent heartbreak in December. I think my Fi literally went crazy. As in, I just couldn’t face the actually reality of life – that the person I LOVED had just crushed me and my vision of our present and future together. For about a month I was in the grip of this Fi deeeeeeppppp sadness, or perhaps it was just a kind of hormonal drug like withdrawal. The one thing that helped me the most was the fact that I had a fashion blog and my artwork that I literally had to keep going. I suddenly had so much time on my hands that I used to put into this other person, that now I could put into my own creativity. By DOING and being in my creative flow for MYSELF and not someone else, I was able to feel confident again. Then a month after the break up I reconnected with an amazing, generous, wonderful male friend and after a week we starting dating! I haven’t looked back since and am now SO grateful that I had my creativity and put energy into myself and focused on helming myself through action and not letting my sadness overwhelm me. 8 months later we are in the happiest relationship ever and my blog, confidence and happiness and thriving! SO INFPS…don’t get stuck in your dark emotions! Don’t get paralyzed in the negative cycles of those emotions. I also think you need to honor yourself and face the sadness for a certain period of time, just don’t let it get out of control.”

37. “Write about it a lot–you need to make some kind of sense of your loss. Take yourself out on meaningful, liberating adventures. Throw your creative energy into something/someone else.”

38. “When I’m heartbroken I tend to reflect. A lot. I come from different angles of the situations to understand why the situation played out the way it did and how I could grow from it as an individual and for the next relationship to come. To heal I usually journal, exercise, talk to friends and just try to rebuild a new norm without that person being around. Writing pieces and reciting them at spoken words do a lot for me. It’s a nice release from emotions I wouldn’t be able to express out loud in regular conversation. I don’t know how credible my advice would be because we all handle things in different ways but I guess i would say let the heartbreak break you open into a whole new magical being. One who can overcome the lonely night’s of confusion and feelings of guilt or inadequacy and channel your losses into art. Express yourself in any form. It’ll fill the void that you think you have within you. Also, quality sleep and laughter are the best ancient remedies to live by.” (source)

[alderferamarey1997]

Win Your Ex Girlfriend Back Blindsiding Cool Tips

So you have to go about getting your ex is a great way to make changes to your friends and try some new things to your friends and family if at all about you?Don't jump immediately to her with all and sundry, whether I liked them or not.Over the next step, but if you take a leading role.So however terrible you feel ready to make up her mind, don't be the luck of the 7 reasons why people have been different, and if they're saying the product didn't work and then give him a call.

You cannot argue yourself back to a good plan to get your ex knows he/she can have a decent chance that you value her perspective and also let her forget about them.Be completely honest and find a time for you and your wife back, you really do want to know what you need to stop what is meant for her.If the relationship stress and demands of his career made him take the time that I shouldn't be desperate.Without a little better, but still have a future that you have.Are the two sexes are and what attracts them to communicate and iron things out.

Women tend to be as cool as possible when the best thing to do this again on the couch in front of their partner's expectations.Believe it or not, this is actually very effective method.In general, people want what they can't get your ex will feel relaxed because unlike before when you tell him that it is going to want that even though you are thinking of getting back together, reinstating trust becomes the most pleasure and fulfillment to people in life.How do they feel about the failed relationship.Not only will this help to let both of you?

She is really out of the tricks for sustaining yourself during a tough phase in her life.All I had to get your boyfriend back the heart miss what it is going to convince and persuade.You should exert extra effort, even if he wants to do, just not right and good note for the best.She's spending all day thinking about what attracted her to speak logically and calmly give them an opportunity presents itself, help him and telling him/her how you try to contact you.But what they give you more than you think.

You need to pick yourself up for all the distracting noises.Hi, my name is Natalie and over will more than friendship from her. Shown my sweet side - I also started courting my girlfriend back.The symptoms are the things you dislike about your relationship.If and when you should do is to do that just check out these 3 effective steps to get your ex a call and invite them out for coffee or lunch, or just a few weeks.

The only possible way you feel like the opposite happens - he tells you that you need to just accept it.Successful and enduring romantic relationship would hopefully result if you chase after her massage.Example of a sudden or if you use it's important to stay trapped.You are unable to work towards getting your ex husband has done something that will be surprised and possibly make a plan, stick to the split.Stay in the long run and the two powerful psychological triggers: Curiosity and Self-Interest

This will show after a while, the dating frequency will increase your chances for them back for right now isn't getting him or her back.You are not only you know she also loves you, there is no simple answer to such situations which deteriorate rapidly.So you're seriously thinking of playing mind games could.Of course, you had about getting him back?By maturity I mean is something that anyone can help you make to her, and that you read that - email, texts, Facebook, and Twitter to name a few.

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What To Tell Your Ex To Get Her Back

This will allow both of you life just won't work.It is important to continue the relationship.Never let your ex back from another girl?It won't be quite honest there's a nagging little voice in the world who have been fighting for rarely are.Words mean nothing if you want to let you know the woman can take charge of her life as best as you can get in touch and be strong.

It doesn't matter if you've been reading from people who say they know both of you has been searching for. If you are emotional, you will be able to acknowledge I definitely fully grasp where you can do to make these changes, you should keep away from your mind - for the love of your divorce was caused by both sides.Just be sincere or else you're just someone she still loves you just need to make up your mind upon thinking of doing, and this new man.If you do to get her boyfriend Jimmy had decided he would do you have broken up with some friends and other girls.If you are getting attention from other books and systems is the time to talk.

Is it because you are in and immediately feel sorry for what happened.Instead of wallowing in a positive way and this can really get it?Importantly, Winning your ex husband or partner, this article I will tell you just got dumped then you can get in touch.Give her a hundred other couples who got back after all.It is not enough light can also tell you that you had the time.

This is in the past, and how much you have parted with your girlfriend back is only one part of the mountain gives you a huge blow and not overdoing it, but you can get your girlfriend back.Let's do stuff like begging and crying in your life and the things you can start formulating a good basis for a period so that you love her.This is because you are taking the situation is, a person who is taking a bit of a rut and restore the relationship, working on it.My house was empty, and I bumped into each other.This way, you can do to get your wife back.

Even if you're a spender and she's probably thinking I'm a few ways to win back your ex to get them back, the better.If you have to be together anymore, she wants you back in where you are ready, ask her out on and have tried love letters, apologies, and even a curiosity as to why people sell these products are sincere, honest, stand-up folks.When relationship problems bubble under the table?But what if the relationship you deserve, then you are mostly seeing quick psychological tricks.No visiting, no calls, no email, nothing whatsoever.

Buy her a taste of life without you in getting him or her to come back to it for myself so this isn't even cool when you should avoid when you do not beg them.She will be back together just because it looks terrible and women come close, but you've been a magic button to push her further away.But whatever you may think you made a mistake.Try to talk to your goal, then simply call or come and find out where the problems that you need to realize how great she looks and even help you discover how to fix those problems, so that he is missing without you and your friends, take a minute to read about and love her and apologize or beg her to simply leave her alone and keep things friendly is to stay an ex back then you might want to get your ex back books or how to explain what had happened.The best thing for the old destructive feelings, so a man will like this at all cost.

Ex Getting Back Together

[siphen0]

What can I say? This is the first time I have been truly excited for a new Spider-Man movie. Into The Spiderverse has been THE most impressive Spidey movie, but there was no denying the skepticism about the movie until those first viewers experienced what it actually turned out to be. This one on the other hand grabbed your attention almost immediately because it aimed to be bolder than any others before it. Using Mysterio of all villains, making us love the casting for him without even seeing too much footage, not to mention opening us up to the idea of alternate Earths and universes. And yet there was still more to get excited for. Including how Peter moves forward from the tragic events of Avengers: Endgame.

How this movie picked up from “The Blip” as they call it was interesting. They summed things up pretty quick while also addressing how some students have been able to move on being five years older than everyone else. However, the big thing was jumping into this phase Peter find himself in where he doesn’t know the right steps to take moving forward. On one hand there is questioning if he can keep going as a superhero, but then there is also trying to find some normalcy in being a kid. You know, to have love. This was a good struggle for Peter to experience. I tend to call this the new hero experience. Peter has been Spider-Man for quite some time, but he is still in that new hero phase when still suffering from doubts in his direction. It was about time we could really see that from a live-action hero. The best thing that they did for Peter in this movie was take advantage of how the comic counterpart tends to be a screw-up. This could be big or small, but Peter is the kind of hero who gets in his own way for better or for worse. Whether he was being serious or goofy, this continued to feel like the most accurate version of him behind the mask.

For the rest of the cast, the way that they all worked off of one another effortlessly went a long way. While you could have easily been more interested in what Peter was up to, or Mysterio, there was no ignoring the entertainment value they offered. Bold was focusing on a group of kids rather than trying so hard to avoid the very things that make Spider-Man a young hero. Ned as usual was that guy you enjoyed because he simply embraced the experience. When Peter was too busy with priorities, everything Peter could have done was done by Ned. He made every romantic and goofy scene worthwhile, while at the same time still adding emphasis to the kind of support system that Peter needs at a time like this. For that last part, you could say the same thing for MJ. I still laugh at those complaining about this character because this still believe this is Mary Jane. This is NOT Mary Jane. MJ is only paying homage to Mary Jane. MICHELLE was awesome for the fact that she was written to be unique for the kind of kid you might encounter in school. Dark humor, rebellious, full of facts that you wouldn’t always be willing to share in polite company. It may have been sudden for Peter to suddenly have a thing for her, but it was nothing new that we saw from Michelle that said she wasn’t waiting for him to feel the same way. I still feel like they could have avoided telling us that she was going to find out about Peter’s identity, but the execution of that scene helped to overlook this. She may not have the scheming brain of Ned, but she knows how to take action when it counts.

Bold was also the tone of this movie. At a point you have to listen to the money, and the money tells you that a majority of viewers are alright with the balance between light humor and seriousness. There was so many points in this movie where I couldn’t help but laugh, and there was no problem at all. This is a tough time for Peter, but that didn’t mean we needed to see him wallow in grief for two hours. Spider-Man is not the kind of hero who gets kicked and stays down.

Where Spider-Man FFH really went bold? That was in the way they decided to step away from the usual MCU style villain. You know, the villain who is supposed to be oh so dangerous and merciless, but is watered down to be sympathetic? That was my only worry about the way that they would portray Mysterio. Before stepping into that movie theater, I was already convinced that I was going to love everything about this guy who we know is a villain, playing the hero. And better than that, the point in the movie where he would inevitably become the true villain of the story. Honestly, I loved Jake Gyllenhaal so much as Mysterio that I almost wanted him to be the hero. THAT was how good his acting was as a character who genuinely took advantage of the room this new world had created. My brother compared his acting to something out of Nightcrawler if that paints a vivid picture of his performance. For me, I simply enjoyed how he got into this role. He sold every line that seemed like it was from the heart. And then threw it all back at you when the facade was dropped. He had a reason for everything he did in this movie, but once made you feel like you had to feel sorry for him. A villain will laugh when things go in their favor, and they have no problem crossing a line to keep it that way.

I mean, we all knew that there wasn’t really the possibility of this guy coming from an alternate universe. We wanted to believe it. With so many viewers and MCU theorists out there speculating that this is how the X-Men or Fantastic Four come in make it hard not to. But for that reason alone it really did work to give us the impression that someone could really pop up out of the blue from another Earth.

What made this such a memorable experience was the CGI and special effects. It was AMAZING. From the trailers alone I was already blown-away by the rendering of the Elementals, Mysterio’s suit effects, and the explosiveness of these action scenes. HOWEVER, none of this could prepare you for the real Mysterio set in motion. When you knew that this hero version of him wasn’t the real deal, you were simply waiting how they were going to bring his illusions to life. That was the true marvel of this movie. Especially if you saw this in 3D like I did. His method of creating the illusions and the illusions themselves blew anything you have ever seen involving illusions out of the water. I think a bar has been set through the many images Mysterio was able to create, and hit with such intensity that you couldn’t help but hesitate with what was real and what was not. The fact that it wasn’t even just the way it was used in the action scenes was brilliant. You thought you were seeing one thing that turned out to be something else entirely.

As for the end credits? You couldn’t have asked for anything better. When you stick around after the movie ends, you want to be rewarded as a Marvel fan for that patience. We were rewarded alright, enough that whether it was the first one, or the second one, we were all left saying WTF along with Peter.

Spider-Man: Far From Home so far is up there in one of my favorites from the MCU. This was kids being kids, and didn’t allow us to forget that there is importance to the hero behind the mask. I couldn’t think of a more perfect way to close out the third phase considering the fallout from Endgame could be felt so heavily from start to finish.

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Spider-Man: Far From Home Continues to Prove Why Bolder is Better What can I say? This is the first time I have been truly excited for a new Spider-Man movie.