#i also only knew her name and that she has been at the olympics and won some Grand slams because i am obsessed with sports history

[masonjarsmoments]

Disappointed and actually surprised that Casper didn't knew the most successful Norwegian Tennis player at the olympics was Anna Margrethe "Molla" Bjurstedt Mallory who won a bronze Medal at the Stockholm Olympics in 1912 and won the US open eight times.

As Casper she reached a career high of No.2 (what is crazy because in 1922 she was in the Wimbledon final and won the US open) she also is the author of the book Tennis for women.

[hairmetal666]

It's a fluke that Eddie ends up a gymnast. Wayne only signs him up for summer classes at Hawkins's tumbling gym to burn off his excess six-year-old energy. Nobody, lest of all Eddie or Wayne, expects him to be talented at it.

And now, somehow, he's at his first ever elite gymnastics competition. His coaches all said he was good, but he hadn't really had a frame of reference for what that meant. Not until now. Not until he's in 3rd place after high bar, right behind Steve Harrington.

They tumbled together, as little kids. Steve a tiny boy with an absurd pompadour, monopolizing the mats for insane tumbling passes and lording his high-end competition shirts over the other kids (none of the rest even wore actual gymnastics gear; they were six and it was Hawkins).

Now, he's a swaggering fifteen year old with the same pompadour and bad attitude. They're not on the same rotation, but as Eddie moves on from his floor exercise, Steve makes a point to ram into him.

Eddie doesn't react and maybe that would've been the end of it, but he ends up placing, and Steve corners him in the locker room.

"Come to congratulate me?" Eddie smirks.

"You better watch your back, Munson." Steve shoves him into the lockers.

"I knew you were an asshole, Harrington, but I didn't realize you were a sore loser."

Steve leans close, heat melting into Eddie. "You better count yourself lucky you've gotten this far. Not really a sport for poor kids."

Eddie bristles at this. Yeah, sure, his gear is secondhand, and he and Wayne learned how to sew to mend his competition shirts, gymnastics pants, and warmups, but they work hard, together, for Eddie to do this. "Don't worry about how I afford to be here." Eddie checks him as he brushes past. "Just fix those wobbly flairs on pommel."

The rivalry is hot and fierce and mean, made even worse by the fact that Eddie has an enormous hate-boner for Harrington. It's not, Eddie reasons, his fault. He's gay and surrounded by guys whose bodies are honed for a sport based on strength, endurance, and agility, Steve the most beautiful of all. So he looks, and he longs, and he hates Harrington with every fiber of his being.

Eddie's sure this would continue for their competitive lives, but everything changes the summer before their junior years of high school. They're at a training camp, the kind for world champion, Olympic hopeful types. Steve is practicing ring dismounts when he loses himself in the air, lands hard off the mat, destroys something in his knee. He needs surgery, the recovery time 6-8 months, if he's lucky to be able to compete again.

Maybe a year ago, Eddie would be excited by this development, but now it's kind of devastating. He doesn't bother examining why.

--

Steve comes back and he's--different. His first competition, he comes up, asks, "Eddie, hey, can we talk?" And, well, they've never been on a first name basis before and Steve is so so pretty, so he agrees.

"I just want to say, I'm sorry how I treated you back before. I was a real piece of shit and you never deserved it."

Eddie truly doesn't know how to respond, never foresaw this day coming. "Thanks. Uh--yeah. Thanks."

They stare at each other for a few seconds longer before Steve taps him on the shoulder and walks away.

It's not the only thing that's changed about Steve. There's this big group of feral children that follow him around everywhere now. Apparently, Harrington told them Eddie plays dnd and now they follow him around too.

He also. Has a girlfriend now. She's pretty; delicate looking. Her name is Nancy. And she's nice, or whatever. Eddie definitely isn't jealous. It's just. He's been with Steve in locker rooms for years, and he thought--well, he'd seen the way Harrington's eyes sometimes lingered on a bicep, a well-cut thigh, the intrigue of a pelvic v, and he thought--not that it matters, but he thought--

Anyway, Steve has a girlfriend.

---

They're at the winter classic, when it happens.

Eddie is doing good. Like. Really good. Like his routines, they're not flawless, but he's hitting the big skills and sticking landings, and stays in 2nd throughout the majority of the rotations.

It's not a huge shock when he finishes his final rotation, vault, and winds up finishing in 2nd. What is a shock, though, is that, when the scores go up, Steve is wrapping his arms around Eddie's waist, hoisting him into the sky. And, even after he's back on solid ground, Harrington doesn't loosen his hold.

And it's, like. Nothing, right? It's nothing because he has a girlfriend and, sure, maybe he's bi, but that doesn't stop Nancy from existing.

He's not going to think about it, is the thing. He knows it doesn't mean anything, so he isn't going to dwell. It's definitely not all he thinks about during the podium ceremony, or after when he talks to media, or even later walking into the empty locker room.

Or. He thought it was empty. But Steve is there, smiling, saying "you were amazing out there."

They hug again, and Eddie tries not to enjoy the warmth of Harrington's body, the comforting strength of his toned biceps. Eddie pulls back and Steve is--he's so close, gazing at Eddie's lips and--

Steve's mouth is hot and sweet, like he's wearing cherry chapstick, and Eddie can't--he thinks of Nancy; she's nice, doesn't deserve this, they should stop--

But he's sucking on Steve's tongue and Steve is making the sweetest sounds, hard against Eddie's thigh, and nothing else matters.

---

It goes on for months.

Eddie knows he needs to end it, vows to as soon as they're apart.

It all goes out the window as soon as they're together again. He can't get enough. It's Steve. How is he supposed to resist?

(He needs to. It's horrifying, what they're doing to Nancy)

---

The children who follow Steve around invite him to dinner after the first day of the USA gymnastics championships.

Nancy is there.

It's the worst three hours of his life. He can't look at Steve, can barely speak to him.

Nancy is beautiful and smart and kind and strong. She doesn't deserve any of this.

And when Steve drops by his hotel room hours later, Eddie greets him by saying, "I can't do this anymore."

Steve's shoulders drop, eyes squeezing shut. "Right. Yeah, I--Yeah."

"I like you, Steve. A lot. But I can't--you have a girlfriend. And I can't keep being whatever this is for you."

Steve nods, won't meet his eyes. "You're right. It's not fair to either of you. I--My parents expect--And I--I'm sorry," he whispers the last part.

Eddie smiles, heart aching. "Sweetheart. I get it. But. Figure out your shit, yeah? Maybe then we can talk?"

The smile Steve flashes him is a broken thing. "Maybe. Sure."

And that's it.

Eddie cries himself to sleep that night.

The next day, he wins first in the all-around.

---

He and Steve stop speaking.

Somewhere around, ohh, the very first time they hooked up, he caught feelings. So sue him if it kills him, seeing Steve at every competition.

They don't speak again until the Olympic trials. And isn't that ridiculous? Eddie at the Olympic trials. It's such an insane pipe dream, being an Olympian, that he doesn't actually have any expectations whatsoever.

So knock him over with a feather when he fucking makes it on the team.

And so does Steve.

The announcement rings out, and Steve is there, out of nowhere, pulling Eddie into his arms. And Eddie's so hyped, so excited, that he just shouts and hugs Steve right back.

He pretends the proximity, the musk of Steve's cologne, the tangy saltiness of his sweat, doesn't bother him, doesn't transport him immediately back to Steve's bed.

They're teammates now; he can keep it casual.

Right before they leave for the games, news breaks that Steve and Nancy have broken up.

---

The Team competition at the fucking Olympics is going well. They've had good routines, with no huge errors, stay consistently within the top 5 scores. But then they're on the last rotation, parallel bars, and he's the very last competitor to go. They'll win bronze if he can score above 14.933.

But

He's inconsistent on parallel bars, always has been, something deep and psychological he can't quite let go of, and now their medal chances are all on him.

He salutes the judges, jumps into his starting position--and his mind goes quiet. Muscle memory, skill, years of training take over--he's flawless.

Eddie sticks his dismount, and the place erupts. He doesn't have a score yet, doesn't know if he's done it, but the rest of the team screams like he has.

They pull him into their arms, but Steve is closest, his grip the tightest. Their eyes keep catching, holding, and Eddie can't really breathe but he doesn't think it's the anxiety or the excitement.

The score goes up.

Not only is it high enough for bronze, it puts them in silver.

Eddie has barely a second to process before he's being hoisted into the air, Steve's arms bracing him up. The crowd's going crazy, his teammates screaming and hugging him, each other, but all he sees is Steve beaming up at him.

He's slowly lowered to the ground, Steve's arms still around him. "You were perfect, baby," Steve whispers. "Never seen anyone like you."

He wishes he could stay right there, Steve beaming at him, but they won the silver--they won the silver at the goddamn Olympics--and they have to get medals, do interviews.

They don't have a chance to be alone together until they're back at the Village, where Steve is just waiting in Eddie's room when he gets back.

"Is this okay?" Steve asks. "I wanted to talk to you and Jason let me in, but I can--I'll leave."

"Please don't." Eddie swallows. "Stay."

Steve smiles, a little. "I needed to tell you that I'm sorry for what I did to you and Nancy. It was unfair to both of you. I love her, you know? But she's not who--I'm not in love with her."

"No?"

"No. I thought it would make my parents happy, settling down with a nice girl. But it turned out it didn't actually make a difference to them, who I dated. And she isn't who I wanted to be with."

"I'm proud of you for figuring out what you really wanted. It's brave."

"I wish I could've been brave earlier." He gives a little laugh. "Before I hurt you."

Eddie doesn't know what to say to that. He wishes the same thing.

"Um, which is also why I'm here." Steve plucks at the waistband of his Team USA Nike joggers. "I wanted to see if maybe we could try again? Officially this time?"

Eddie can't keep his smile from taking over his entire face. "Sweetheart, I would love to."

"Yeah?"

And Eddie just--after all this time, he just--pulls Steve into his arms and kisses him. The silver medals, still around both of their necks, clink together with the force, but neither of them really care.

Steve sighs, nuzzles his nose to Eddie's. "Missed you so bad," he whispers. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Eddie smiles. "But kiss me a while."

Eventually, they fall back onto Eddie's bed, which makes a horrible noise as their combined weight topples onto it, and they break apart to laugh. Steve smooths back his hair, wrapping a few fingers through his curls to keep Eddie close, even though he's not about to go anywhere.

"Can't believe we made it all the way here." Steve's looking at him like he hung the moon

"Cause we're taking medals home?"

"Honey," he laughs. "Because I'm taking you home."

[flemingsfreckles]

Pretend We’re Good

Niamh Charles x Reader

Synopsis: based off this request!

Warnings: toxic behavior from both Niamh and Reader, suggestive at the end, fighting, angsty

WC: 3.3k

A/N: this is the first time I’ve written for someone other than Jessie, but I follow Niamh as a player so idk thought I’d give it a go.

Also shout out to whoever this anon was, this song is a banger and has found its way onto my driving to work playlist which I am extremely picky about, so thanks for the indirect song suggestion! 🫶

Seeing the match announcement was one thing, actually showing up and playing it was another.

Playing England was good preparation for the Olympics, they were a quality team, you knew that, but that meant you’d have to see Niamh. That meant you’d have to mark Niamh on the pitch. It meant you’d have to give her a silly handshake before the game and wish her good luck.

You and Niamh had a complicated history. You played at Liverpool together for a season before she left for Chelsea. You had always had a flirty friendship as teenagers but it never amounted to anything.

Then when she left for Chelsea, it broke your heart. Which made you realize how strong your feelings were for the girl, bawling when she said goodbye and then again at home in bed. For hours at a time you would remain motionless on your mattress, wishing she’d come back. You had been a mess for a couple weeks not knowing how to handle losing your best friend and the girl you had seemingly fallen in love with. The two of you kept in touch but it wasn’t comparable to seeing her everyday, to being her travel roommate, to being her bus buddy.

Then you got a call a season later. A call offering you a spot at Chelsea, you barely thought about it, the club's reputation, plus being back with Niamh, you easily said yes, signing your name on the line to become a blue.

Niamh was your first call, she was ecstatic about you joining the club. It didn’t take long for the two of you to fall back into your friendship and with the friendship came the oblivious flirting.

“You two are insufferable. Will you just admit you want to makeout.” Erin had teased the two of you. Her teasing, while not appreciating in the moment, had forced you and Niamh to actually sit down and talk about your feelings. You both admitted to wanting more than just a friendship and you went on your first official date after.

The next two years with Niamh were pure bliss. You played well together, you’d spend your holidays together, you met her family and she met yours.

Everything was good, until you became unhappy at Chelsea. You were progressively losing playing time to new signings, only seeing the pitch as a sub, it was impacting you heavily mentally and hurting your playing time internationally as well.

So when you got the offer to move to the NWSL, you took it. You took it and you didn’t tell Niamh until the day you confirmed the transfer.

You had broken the news at dinner in your apartment and an argument had quickly unfollowed.

“I can’t believe you’d just leave like that!” Niamh stood from the table grabbing her plate, not offering to clear yours like she typically would.

“I’m not happy here Niamh!” Niamh would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t know you were unhappy. She’d heard you rant and complain about your playing time, your struggles in training, and she had been supportive thought it all. She just never imagined you’d go as far as to leave her, to leave her and leave the country, the continent behind.

“What? I don’t make you happy?” She screamed across the room at you.

“You do! You’re the best thing I have here!” It was all you could yell back.

The defender grew quiet, looking at you with hurt eyes. “But I’m not enough, am I?” She asked quietly.

“Niamh.” You wanted to scream at her that this had nothing to do with her, she was the only reason you had stayed at this team so long. You had been given other offers but you thought maybe, somehow you’d end up with more playing time again and you’d go back to being happy where you were but that day never came.

“No, you should go, enjoy New York. Go where someone or something is enough for you.” She slammed the door behind her leaving you alone in your apartment.

The next day, your final day at Chelsea, you showed up, puffy eyed from crying instead of sleeping all night. It was quickly picked up on by the other girls, especially when Niamh didn’t come in with you, and she didn’t show up to training.

You gathered everyone in the conference room before film review. You stood up, explaining that while you loved the friendships and connections you’ve made here, to better yourself as a player it was time to move on. As you spoke you noticed Niamh slip in through the door, she looked just as rough if not worse than you did. Red cheeks, bloodshot eyes, her hair was a mess, she wasn’t dressed for training. You finished your speech before quickly saying goodbye to everyone all the girls lining up to hug you and wish you well, all the girls except Niamh who remained seated in the back of the room.

You left the facility shortly after, taking all your belongings with you before hurrying home. You were set to leave early the next morning, your belongings to be packed up by hired movers, anything you shared to be left with Niamh. You packed up just the essentials, enough to get you through the first week of your move before you could get settled.

You sent Niamh a text, asking if she wanted to come over for a bit, thinking you could talk it out, but you got no response. The next morning you hopped on a plane, having no idea if you were even still in a relationship with the girl.

It took a few weeks until you heard from her. A drunken phone call after they had won the league. A phone call that part of you wishes never came. You could tell from her first words that she must’ve been hammered, standing outside a loud nightclub or bar. Her voice brought back all of the feelings you had managed to push down for the past few weeks. Her proclamation of love over the phone, begging and pleading with you to forgive her for her stupid behavior. She begged to have you back in her bed, saying she missed the intimacy with you, the connection. She begged for a chance at long distance, to still be the one you wanted.

You never called her back. You weren’t even sure if she remembered calling.

And now here you were, standing less than an arms length away from her as you both stood waiting to enter the pitch. When you had stopped next to her, she had looked at you, when you made eye contact she gave you a small “hello” with a look of guilt across her face.

The game was easier, it was easy to forget she was there. She just looked like any other England player. You were able to push her from your mind, putting you more at ease than you had expected to be being this close to the woman after all that had happened.

It was after the game where you found yourself in uncomfortable waters with her. You had shaken her hand last, avoiding all eye contact. When Niamh tried to speak to you, you quickly dropped her hand and then made a b-line for the locker room.

“Please wait.” Her voice pleading with you as you heard her follow you down the tunnel.

“Niamh, no.” You don’t even turn back to look at her. You couldn’t, if you looked at her your body might convince you to hear her out.

“I don’t need you back, I just want closure, you deserve closure, I didn’t give you that.”

“Do you want closure or do you just want to feel less guilty for what you did to me?” You spit back at her, turning around you watch as her already guilty looking face twists into one of anger.

“You left the country with one days notice! Don’t blame this all on me!” She shouts back at you.

You sigh, you couldn’t believe this was happening. You and Niamh, standing less than three feet from each other, face to face for the first time since she left your apartment. You couldn’t determine your feeling, half of you wanted to grab her, kiss her hard and make up for all the time you two had missed out on. The other half of you was ready to shove her out of the way, leave here and hope you’d never have to play the Lionesses again. “And you walked out! You didn’t even try Niamh!”

“I didn’t know how. I didn’t even know where to start! It was such late notice. I didn’t know what to do, I loved you, I still love you.” She’s making eye contact so intense you can’t look away. This is exactly what you feared. Unable to hold back from the girl you start rambling.

“I still love you too Niamh, you think I don’t? You’re the only reason I stayed Niamh, because I loved you so fucking much, I couldn’t leave you, until playing for Chelsea became so unbearable, I had to leave to save myself, I was ready to quit.” You feel the tears on your face, suddenly very aware that you were crying.

You had only expressed how miserable you were to Niamh on the day you told her your contract was signed. She didn’t know you were on the verge of quitting, giving up on your love for the game.

You notice some of your teammates starting to filter into the tunnel. You and Niamh both stop talking as they pass by. Catarina slows down as she walks by, you try and duck your face to hide the tears. She looks between you and Niamh, giving you both a sympathetic smile before she moves on.

“Quit?” Niamh's face matches the look of your empathetic teammates in the tunnel.

You nod, avoiding making eye contact with Niamh, not wanting her to see right through you. She could always read you, she knew, you expressed your emotions too well through your eyes.

“I didn’t know it was that bad. Why didn’t you tell me?” Niamh grabs your hand, you start to pull it away but the feeling of her hand in yours again makes your stomach flutter so you leave it. “I don’t know what I can do. But,” you feel her squeeze your hand. “I want you back, or I want you again, I’m not sure I lost you, ever I don’t know what we were doing for those few months. Please?”

“We weren’t together during those months.” Sure you never confirmed a break up but you had decided not hearing from her meant you were no longer a couple. But you also hadn’t started seeing other people, the feelings of Niamh still too fresh.

“No, I know, it’s just we never broke up.”

“Niamh, I don’t know.”

“Please don’t make me beg. Even if it’s just a night? Just dinner or drinks, I’ll pay, or we can go to my place and I’ll let you yell at me, or tell me everything I did wrong, or we can just sit, whatever, just one night, me and you can we pretend we’re good? Pretend we’re something again? Go back to how it was?”

“Niamh.” You breathed out. You knew you shouldn’t. You knew both of your behaviors were toxic, you leaving with little notice and her storming out and drunkenly calling you begging for you back. You two shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t, but you wanted to. You loved her still.

You wanted to have a night with her, a date, an afternoon, something! In reality you wanted her for the rest of your life. You missed her hugs, you missed the way she kissed you, you missed the way you’d sing in the car together despite both having less than excellent voices. You missed falling asleep next to her. You missed her body on yours. You missed getting up early to make her coffee or tea and bringing it to her in bed, the way she’d sit up to sip it with crazy bed head. You missed everything about her.

You missed her and this was your chance to have her again. Even if it was just to pretend, for a night.

Niamh must’ve been able to tell you were pondering. She didn’t plea with you anymore, she didn’t beg again. She just waited patiently, studying your face, the face she’s been longing for.

“Okay. One night, like we used to be.” You finally give in.

“Really?” Niamh’s face lights up at your answer. A smile across her lips. “Okay, I’ll pick you up from your hotel? Can we have dinner? Or just drinks? Or I don’t know.”

“That sounds good.” Drinks and dinner would be harmless, a good way for the two of you to talk, in public, keep it civil.

When Niamh picked you up she was dressed up. You thankfully had dressed up as well. Subconsciously when you packed, you threw in a nice matching lace set, which you had put on underneath a simple shirt and nice pants. She had gotten out of the car to open the passenger side door, something she did when you were together.

“Thank you. Thank you for agreeing to this.” She said one back in the driver’s seat.

“Yeah.” You clasped your hands in your lap, when you were together you’d have your hand on her thigh or her hand in yours, today you kept them to yourself.

“I was thinking dinner?”

“Yeah that sounds good, I haven't eaten yet.”

Niamh nods before starting to drive to dinner. She pulls into an Italian restaurant, one the two of you had frequented while together.

When you sat down Niamh ordered a glass of wine, before looking at you. “Would you like one?”

“Yeah that'd be great.” you order the same wine as Niamh. When the glasses come Niamh holds hers up, tapping it to yours before you both take a sip and fall into silence.

You break the silence first.

You apologize for leaving on such short notice. You apologize for not telling her that you were considering leaving. You apologize for not expressing how you were feeling, truly upset at Chelsea. You apologize for never calling her, for never reaching out. You apologize for everything.

Niamh just sits, listening to you, really listening. She doesn’t interrupt, she just sits, making eye contact when you look at her. You find yourself looking away most of the time, feeling embarrassed as you list all the poor behavior, all the places you went wrong.

When you’re done, you sit back looking across the table at Niamh. Thankfully your food had arrived just as you finished apologizing and you were able to occupy the silence by eating. As you start to eat, Niamh begins to speak. She hasn’t started to eat and she’s hardly looked at the pasta in front of her.

“Niamh.” You interrupt, it was rude but you wanted to ensure she knew she could eat. “Please eat, we can talk after, don’t let it get cold.”

She nods, picking up her fork and swirling it into her meal. You eat for the most part in silence. Niamh asks a few questions about your new place in New York, your new team. When you tell her it’s going well, you’re playing more, you are often in the starting IX she replies with “I know.” When you told her you scored in your first game with them, she replies the same “I know.”

You look at her. “You keep up with me?”

“Of course I do.” She says. “I watch your games, I keep up with you, you have me rooting for you all the way across the pond. I, uh, I have your jersey.”

“Really?” You definitely didn’t expect her to own a jersey of yours. You had a couple of her Chelsea jerseys and you knew she had a couple of your old Chelsea ones as well, you just didn’t expect her to buy a new one, for your new team after what happened.

“Yeah.” She sighs.

She then begins an apology list of her own. She apologizes first for the drunken call. She had remembered doing it. She apologized for storming out on you, she apologized for ignoring you when you said your goodbyes to the team. She apologized for not reaching out, something you were both guilty of.

“I do still love you.” She ends her apology with those words.

“I still love you Niamh.” You can’t help it, you loved this woman, everything about her.

You don’t get to follow up on what that meant for either of you as the waiter comes with the bill, Niamh grabbing it before you can, when you let out a pouting huff, she just gives you a glance.

“Please it’s the least I can do, plus I asked you to this.”

“Fine.” You cross your arms. “But I get the next one.”

“The next one?” Niamh’s face breaks into a small smile, just creeping on her lips. “As in, another time?”

“If that’s something you want to do?”

“Yeah.” She says. “Does that mean, we’re…” she points a finger between the two of you.

You knew it was maybe too soon to let her back in, too soon for both of you but you really didn’t care. Sitting here being able to see her, hear her, admire her, made you miss every inch of her. You wanted her back, you needed her back. Long distance would be something to figure out, but not right now, right now you had her in front of you, within reach.

You’re not sure what to call yourselves yet, so you nod. “If that’s something you want too.”

“Yeah.” The waiter comes back to the table to give Niamh her card back. You both thank him before leaving the restaurant and heading to her car. Niamh goes to open your car door, just just barely cracks it when you push it closed.

“Hey!” She turns back to scold you, coming face to face with each other.

“Hi.” You breath out practically whispering, this was the closest you two had been in a non-match situation in months. Your faces inches from each other. You look at her eyes, temporarily getting lost in their beautiful blue color. Your trance is broke by her blinking a few times. Your eyes fall to her lips and then back to her eyes. Niamh gets the hint and brings her hands up around your shoulders, pulling you slightly closer.

“Is this okay?” She asks, looking up at you with wide eyes.

You find yourself leaning in, pressing your lips to hers, they feel better than you remember, you can feel your love for her flooding through your body, your hairs standing on edge, its electric and soft and it feels safe. You were kissing Niamh. Your Niamh. The love of your life, the girl you had waited for, the girl who was with you through your teenage years and into young adulthood. This was your girl, she was yours, you promised to never let her go again.

You kiss for a second, your front gently pressed to hers as her back is leaned up against the car. It’s a passionate kiss, both of you pouring months of built up feelings into it. When you break away you can’t hide the smile across your face and by the looks of it neither can Niamh.

“I love you.” You say.

“I love you.” She then turns opening the door again, you let her this time and you get into the car. When she climbs in the drivers seat she asks where to.

“Yours?” You suggest. “I can think of a few more ways we can make up for lost time.” You give her a wink and Niamh gets the hint, quickly starting the car in the direction of her apartment. It only takes a few turns before her hand finds its way to your upper thigh, giving it a hard squeeze.

Sure it wasn’t the healthiest way of working out your problems together, but it worked, you both got your frustrations out, you were able to express your emotions, show how much you missed each other, how much you loved each other, and by the time morning came the two of you had decided you were back together.

Girlfriends, just long distance ones.

[angelholme]

Vladimir Putin & The Anti-Trans Cult

So lets just sum this up, shall we?

The UK, USA and all of Europe is at war with Russia, because we think Vladimir Putin is an evil bastard who is trying to take over Ukraine. We think he is one of the most evil men in the world, and anyone who is associated with him is also an evil bastard who can’t be trusted.

Very few people disagree with this, and it is the primary reason that Russia are not allowed to take part in The Olympics.

Are you all with me so far?

Good.

There is an organisation called The International Boxing Association.

It is run by a man named Umar Kremlev. A man who is widely criticised for having very close ties with Vladimir Putin (you remember him, right?), for being associated with a Russian state owned oil company and for there being “irregularities” during the elections of 2021 and 2022. He is, in short, a very suspicious character and did I mention him being very close to Putin (the guy who is the reason Russia aren’t allowed in polite company or The Olympics).

He is also the reason why The IBA aren’t permitted to oversee boxing at The Olympics — the first time an international authority was ever expelled from The Olympics.

And — if this wasn’t enough — he was the man in charge when a woman named Imane Khelif was disqualified from the World Championships for “undisclosed reasons” just after she defeated the previously undefeated Azalia Amineva — the previously unbeaten Russian contender.

The IBA — under the direction of a Russian man who is close friends with Putin, and who disqualified someone who beat a previously unbeaten Russian contender — claimed she had “high testosterone levels” but then said “they had not undergone testosterone testing” (so quite how they knew how high her testosterone levels were is curious — did they just look at her and go “No — too high”?), then they said DNA testing proved she “had XY chromosomes” except there is no evidence that she has XY chromosomes, and the only evidence that The Russian lead IBA is willing to provide is “confidential” and shows “a competitive advantage”

So — to sum up — The IBA, which is run by a Russian who is close friends with someone most of the known world hates, and who the UK, USA and Europe is at war with, and who is suspected of being incredibly corrupt, banned a woman from The World Championship for no apparent reason other than she beat a Russian contender who was going to go for the gold medal.

Are you still with me? Because all of this is merely prologue. Now we get to the good stuff.

The woman at the centre of all this — Imane Khelif — is about to go for The Olympic Gold in Paris.

Now given everything I have just told you — that she was banned from The World Championship by a corrupt organisation run by a man with ties to the Russian regime because she beat a Russian contender who was going to fight for the gold and so far there has been no evidence whatsoever to back up the reason she was banned — where do you think the press in the UK, USA and Europe would be on her performance in The Olympics?

Yes. That’s right. They want her kicked out of the contest.

The anti-trans cult is so fucking dedicated to the bigotry that they are willing to side with a man who runs a corrupt organisation, who is in bed with Putin, who has absolutely no proof to back up any of his claims and who banned someone because they dared to beat a Russian fighter just so they can continue to target a woman who has always been a woman and who can punch harder than another woman.

It’s fucking ridiculous.

[apomaro-mellow]

S1E09: Open Wide

S1E08

Eddie hacked up a cough so hard it was like he was trying to win a daytime television award. He was laid out in bed, covers pulled up to his chin and balled up tissues all over the place. Steve walked into his room, wearing a sexy nurse’s outfit and a stethoscope. 

“Is my patient ready for his sponge bath?”

“Lord have mercy”, Eddie warbled.

“What?” The mirage of Steve had turned into Dustin, looking confused.

“Where’s my sexy nurse?”, Eddie asked, delirious.

“Uhh, pretty sure it’s just been you and your uncle. I just came by to see if you were really too sick to play today and yeah. Anyway, I’m taking this”, Dustin said as he swiped a comic off the dresser and left.

“....I can’t believe I got robbed by a talking gerbil…”

-----------

“Remind me again why I’m taking Will to his dentist appointment?”, Steve asked.

“Because I have a broken leg”, Jonathan pointed to it, currently in a cast as it laid propped on pillows on his couch.

“I kinda meant like, me, specifically.”

“Because you lost another bet”, Jonathan reminded him, then he cast a look down the hall where Will’s room was and lowered his voice. “I gotta warn you though, Will’s kind of…afraid of the dentist.”

“Still? Isn’t he too old for that?”

“What can I say? He just is. So be like, I don’t know, gentle with him”, Jonathan urged.

“Yeah, yeah”, Steve waved it off dismissively just as Will came out of his room, looking just the same as usual.

Steve didn’t know what Jonathan was worried about then. But it became more apparent when they actually got to the waiting room and Steve checked Will in. The younger boy got this thousand yard stare and seemed to get paler with time. Then Will’s name was called and he bolted from his seat and out the door.

“Goddammit”, Steve sighed, following after.

--------------

Jonathan was lying on the couch, reading the TV Guide while flipping through the channels. Then he heard the door open and checked his watch. Will and his mom shouldn’t be back just yet. 

“Have no fear, for we are here!”, Dustin announced himself and El.

“Uh hi”, Jonathan waved limply. “Why?”

“Okay so, your mom’s abandoned you.”

“Gone to work”, Jonathan amended.

“And Will has also forsaken you.”

“Dentist appointment.”

“So me and El will be your nursemaids until one of them gets back”, Dustin beamed.

“And again, I ask why?”

“Is it not enough to want to care for our friend’s big brother?”

Jonathan looked skeptical. Dustin was known for having ulterior motives. It was only El’s presence that kept him from being completely cynical. And he said so.

“Dustin probably wants a favor but I know you El, are here for purely innocent intentions.”

El smiled wide, showing all her teeth. “Actually…”

“Oh god no”, Jonathan’s head fell back against the couch.

“Don’t worry about what we want!”, Dustin rushed to say. “Just sit back, relax, and treat us as the best butlers you’ve ever had.”

“Sure, what could go wrong?”, Jonathan sighed, resigning himself.

----------------

“Will! You. Have. To. Go!”, Steve yelled, each word punctuated with him attempting to pull Will into the operating room.

Who knew this kid had the grip strength of an Olympic athlete? Will clung to the door, uncaring that Dr. Lee was waiting for them inside, watching it all play out.

“It’s perfectly normal to be nervous at the dentist”, she said. “But it’s just your average check up, Will. One that we’ve done before.”

Will didn’t say a word, only shook his head fearfully. With a groan, Steve let go, hands going to his hips. “Kid, you’re way too old for this. You’re acting like they torture you in here. She’s just gonna touch your teeth a little and you get a lollipop at the end. Which actually sounds counterintuitive now that I say it out loud.”

“If it’s so easy, why don’t you do it?”, Will challenged.

“That’s a good idea”, Dr. Lee smiled brightly. “Come take a seat.”

Steve raised a brow. He hadn’t been expecting to have his teeth looked at today. But then he saw just how terrified Will looked and gave a heavy sigh and stepped towards the chair. Will was the least annoying of his sister’s friends. He could do this for him. And he had perfect teeth. What could go wrong?

“Alright doc, do your worst.”

--------------------

Dustin fluffed the pillow at Jonathan’s back, placed the serving tray on his lap and took the dome off, revealing three triple decker sandwiches with the works. Jonathan’s eyes got wide. 

“Um, when I said you could make lunch, I didn’t think you’d give me the Scooby Doo treatment.”

“I know what they do in the back of the Mystery Machine”, Dustin said knowingly. “And I know what you and Steve get up to in the back of his car.”

Jonathan’s head whipped so hard it could’ve fallen off. “Are you-”

“Blackmailing you. Nah, I’m saving that for Steve.”

El came in, milkshake in hand and placed it on a coaster on the coffee table. “It’s chocolate. Everyone’s favorite.”

“Thanks”, Jonathan said, although he was afraid to see the state of the kitchen after this.

“Anything else we can do for you?”, she asked.

“Back rub, run your bath, do a little run and get some”, Dustin mimed smoking, “for you?”

“Nope! No, none of that.” His days would be numbered if Jim found out he let his daughter go out on a pot run.

“You know what I think he needs?”, Dustin asked rhetorically. “A leg massage. It’s gotta be killing you in that cast.”

Without waiting for Jonathan to answer, Dustin went right for it. El did too, both too eager and Jonathan let out a yelp as they pushed too hard, the sandwiches flying and his other leg kicking up the milkshake. In the wake of the mess, lettuce, cheese, and ham in his hair, Jonathan glared at Dustin.

“I figured out what you can do for me.”

----------------

Steve took a deep breath as he lied back and stared at the ceiling. It had been about a year since his last check up, so technically he was due. And he knew how it’d go. The way it usually did like with his old dentist, Dr. Brown. Brown had been an old man but with sure hands. He was the silent type. Kept quiet throughout most of it until it was time to tell Steve to watch out for his molars but good job on the regular flossing.

Dr. Lee was not Dr. Brown.

She wasn’t as old for one. She looked no older than forty, and that was pushing it. Her hair fell in beautiful waves and was only pinned back slightly by her temples. Steve wanted to ask if she should pull more of her hair back but her gloved hands were already in his mouth.

“Mmm”, she hummed softly. “This is a pretty nice set you’ve got here. I’m almost jealous.”

“Uh-huh”, was all Steve could say with his jaw wide.

“Let’s get you a little more open”, she urged, voice going a little lower

Steve did so, ignoring the odd tingle in him right now. But then Dr. Lee leaned in even more and her fingers went deeper.

“There’s a good boy.”

What the hell?

It was then that Steve noticed Will had suddenly appeared by his side and it was only Dr. Lee’s hold on his jaw that kept him from jolting in place. Will was staring at his face like he was seeing right through him. Steve shifted a little, trying to fix himself in his pants but it was already too late.

--------------------

“Alright. All cleaned up”, Dustin announced.

“Pretty sure there’s still mayo in my cast”, Jonathan deadpanned.

“Don’t be a spoiled patient”, Dustin reprimanded.

Jonathan looked around, suddenly realizing that El was nowhere to be found after saying she was going to get the milkshake out of her hair. 

“Hey uh, where’s El?”

“Jonathan, I got these for you!”, Ell said happily, coming from his room, which already filled him with a sense of dread.

It all happened in slow motion as she came to the couch, stack of magazines in hand, slowly revealing the cover of one with a woman in a bikini. Dustin’s lips parted in a wide grin and Jonathan’s face went into his hands.

“I do not understand why you like to look at women’s swimsuits. Does it help with your photography?”, El asked as she held the stack out to him.

“Well now I have to blackmail you”, Dustin grinned.

---------------------

Steve and Will got back in the car, both of them silent, both with lollipops in hand.

“I’m going to take you to Benny’s. I’m going to let you get whatever you want, you can even undo all that dental work with a triple decker sundae. Just don’t ever speak of what happened in there again.”

“Not even the-”

“Nope!”

“I can’t even tell-”

“Do you want the sundae or not?!”

“....Deal.”

--------------------

Jonathan perked up as he heard the front door opening. It had been hours.

“There you guys are, what happened?”, he asked when Will and Steve came in.

“Nothing!”, both of them said.

Will avoided more questions by going to the kitchen but just got more confused when he saw the mess left there. “What happened in here?”

“Also nothing!”, Jonathan said quickly.

Part 10

[schlattsdoll]

fuckboi chapter one: in love with the morning light

minors dni

pairing: fratboy! jschlatt x fem!reader

warnings: drinking mentions, nicknames {pipsqueak} enemies to lovers,

notes: based on an actual mixer i went too yay!

word count:

it was another mundane day at the local college, sorority girls chatting away about what fraternities’ parties they planned on going too, football players talking about the upcoming game, and then there’s you. stuck in the middle with your small group of friends discussing party themes. charlie and ted, brothers of kappa beta, but you couldn’t forget their president, johnathan schlatt. the only member of the small kappa crew you didn’t like. he was attractive, sure, but he knew it, which made him all the more arrogant. all the girls fawned over him, instantly dumbing themselves down for a chance to go home with him. not you though, you saw through his façade and saw him for what he really was; an absolute fuckboy.

he sits down at your table in the common area, next to his vice president. "what's up pipsqueak?" jay addresses you as he pops a chip from ted's bag into his mouth. you groan at the nickname, rolling your eyes at the larger man. a signature smirk finds its way across his face while a hand runs through his chestnut locks, he continues to say something about that weekend's party theme, a KB- well any frat really- classic one at that, "beer olympics man! we haven't had a proper one in so long. c'mon everyone'll love it." ted nods in agreement, "schlatt has a point, it's a great classic theme for a reason, but how many other frats are gonna do that this week?" you chime in with a "make it more fun, make it so you pick partners out of a hat, then you're tied together all night. like literally, have string connecting people at the hip." "y/n, this is why we keep you around!" charlie smiled, rushing to make the flyer for saturday. "who knows, maybe she'll actual meet someone." schlatt chuckled as he drank his soda, leading to a swift kick from under the table from you. "i have class see you guys later." and you ran off to your next class.

you weren't in a sorority, and didn't go out much aside from when ted and charlie begged you to go to a party as it's winding down, or your roommate for that matter too. roxanne, or roxy as she liked to be called, had been your partner in crime since freshman year, and your sole confidant, telling her things not even ted and charlie know. she was a true friend, who pushed you to come out of your shell.

texting her about the party and what schlatt said to you, she quickly responded "i know you hate 'em but jay has a point. you might meet someone if you go when people are actually there." you hated to even hear the name "jay" and "right in the same sentence, but sadly he was, and so was roxy. deciding to put yourself out there, you texted her saying "i hate that you’re right. i'm texting teddy that we're going."

saturday night rolled around, you and roxy getting ready for the big night. she curls her hair while you style yours to perfection, thankful it’s cooperating with you. maybe tonight won’t be such a disaster after all, you think to yourself. as you two dig through your respective closets trying to find appropriate outfits for a frat party, you land on a black cropped cami, a pair of mom jeans and some beat up sneakers you didn’t mind getting dirty. “oh wait let’s match! so if we get paired together we look cute.” roxy said, grabbing the same top as you but in white.

as you made your way to the KB house, your stomach turned. you didn’t go out to large parties very much, and really the only people you knew were ted, charlie and roxy and schlatt unfortunately. you secretly hoped that roxy would be with ted so she can get over her crush on him, but also you wanted a chance to hang out more with your best friend in his natural habitat. walking up to the door, charlie is outside setting up a pong table. “hey! y/n, roxy, good to see you guys finally out!” he smiles kindly and hugs you both, then opens the door for you two. inside you’re greeted by a sea of people you don’t recognize. maybe not a sea, more like a large lake, but still your anxiety shot up.

ted is standing at the door, unattached from his partner who ran off with another brother. “ladies, pick your fate tonight!” he tells you with his usual dramatic flair. roxy pulls out the name and you see a j and hope it’s schlatt, but no, it was jack. “jack is uh, a little busy with kerri, my partner right now. i don’t mind taking his place roxy.” he offers to her. he presents a bit of string and ties it to the belt loop of her jeans. “i hope you’re good at pong.” roxy smiles back and secures herself to ted.

you unravel your paper and see a j as well. as you unfold more of it you see a longer name, oh no.

johnathan.

schlatt approaches you and smirks, that signature smirk you wanna slap right off his face.

“guess you’re stuck with me pipsqueak.” he ties himself to your waist. “gotta say, i’m shocked you came out tonight. don’t worry we’ll have fun.” he winked at you as you got ready for the worst night of your life.

oh how wrong you’d be.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

So I know Representation came out today. And any good fan would wait a week before reviewing it as we still have episode 23 to watch.

GOOD THING IM A DEGENERATE

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 24 Representation

spoilers below

-So as expected, Chloé didnt stay mayor long. But Apparently Ms.Bustier is running for Mayor and might win

-Oh its the Fencing teacher/ guy who was Darkblade. Well clearly Ms.Bustier is going to win

-And Adrien and Kagami are a power couple? But Adrien is watching the news report while they are in London. Something seems VERY off

-Ah, Gabriel is behind it. And Adrien HATES it.

-"By letting your father decide your life and selling your story through a fake narrative as usual." DAMN Plagg holds no punches

-Plagg appologized though.

-Kagami is also pissed about it

-HEY ITS FELIX/ARGOS

-Wait ... is that really my chaotic son? HEARTS ON WINDOWS.

-Thats adorable, WTF

-Okay so THEY got some development.

-Adrien deciding to just say f*** it. He is heading to paris and Telling Marinette he's chat noir!

-Marinette back in paris looks miserable. Poor baby girl. Also its a lovely dress.

-Marinette has been crying. I am going to kill Gabriel

-Marinette being strong for her friends to enjoy this dance. Thats really big of her.

-Unfortunately, Spotlight.

-Wait, how did Argos and Kagami get to Paris BEFORE Astrochat? Unless they left much earlier but even then. My bet is Argos made a sentimonster that would warp them places... but that seems like BS.

-KAGAMI KNOWS MARINETTE IS LADYBUG?! Since perfection. Damn.

-KAGAMI TOLD FELIX!?!?!?! FELIX?!?!?! Okay I am a bit salty about that

-OH S***! THEY KISSED. The Feligami stans are Eating today.

-Felix is dressed like Adrien? Oh I do not like where this seems to be going.

-And Marinette thought she saw Adrien and wants to go after him while her friends are thanking her for everything she's done. Way to ruin a good moment FELIX you ass!

-Side note, WHY is Marinette the only one in a dress? Like its a dance? Why couldnt everyone Have dressed up? Seriously, I know outfit renders are expensive. DID THE KITCHEN COST THAT MUCH?

-Marinette avoiding the Lesbian bee and accidentally interrupting the Bi artist and writer. Sure is Pride month in Paris.

-Okay this is just cruel. Marinette thinks she is having a break down over this. Side note. WHY ISNT ADRIEN ACTUALLY HERE YET? HE IS ASTROCHAT!

-Alya and Nino trying to comfort her. But she aint listening.

-Adrien and Kagami escaped and the parents are pissed

-Oh no Nathalie looks really bad right now. Poor thing. All she can do is watch videos of her true love Emilie

-He took the ring back, guess now that Nathalie is too weak to fight him. Which really brings up the question, WHAT HAPPENED in the last episode that Nathalie took such a turn.

-Gabriel is being a d*** as usual

-Nightormentor sounds like a cool name. And while I thought the color scheme is weird... its probably the best akumatized form Gabriel has taken. Sad but true

-AND OF COURSE RIGHT AS SHE LEAVES ASTROCAT ARRIVES. I know its plot convenience but thats bull s***

-"His father CANT have that much control of him" Oh if only you knew Nino

-And BOOM! Gabriel the bitch agreste arrives

-I am liking Rose so much recently. She is calling out EVERYONE

-So he basically has the powers of Sandboy mixed with Darkerowl

-the guy has the power to make you experience VERY intrusive thoughts. That is evil

-Chat noir is like "Hey ladybug gonna go beat up my father text me later"

-Dude Felix must be an Olympic speed walker

-Marinette is basically being nightormented without that bastard even being here. Felix, Kagami this is just a jerk move.

Duusu: "This is so sad" Felix: "Dont worry its for Our happy ending" Duusu: F*** yea lets keep it up

-Oh he made a sentimonster... wait. I know its not human but like a sentimonster MAKING sentimonsters. Feels even more f***ed up

-THEY ARE DOING A F***ING PLAY FOR HER!?

-OH MY GOSH! ITS THE STORY OF EMILIE AND AMELIE!

-Meanwhile, Chat noir is working through his daddy issues.

-Back to the play

-Oh this is interesting.

-Oh and we find out Felix's dad was a rich Cowboy. But also an asshole. (Oh right, this is a French Cartoon, thats why American's suck in this)

-Back to Adrien fighting his father

-This is Cathartic watching Chat noir beat Gabriel's ASS

-HE WAS GOING TO CATACLYSM HIS DAD! Adrien, my boy. Patricide adrien? Well Monarch is still alive, so I guess you think it wouldnt kill him. BTW, Monarch should have had ptsd from that.

-And Chat noir got hit, so his worst fear is... and cuts back to the play

-Oh the twins were infertile. Emilie returned to try and get medical help but still nothing.

-The peacock, that was the sentimonster reference

-Oh so THATS how Gabriel got Gorilla to guard adrien.

-Also yea, any doubt that they arent sentimonsters is dead now.

-ITS CHAT BLANC WITH BLUE HAIR!?

-Oh s*** that is f***ed up.

-"It will end if you give me your miraculous"

-"Take it." ADRIEN NO!

-Oh so thats why Felix's dad was an a**hole. Okay I will give this credit. That is something.

-Welp this explains why Felix might be a sociopath

-Felix revealing why he did what he did

-THE RESISTANCE! COMING IN CLUTCH

-THE TRAY!

-ALYA JUMPED ON HIS BACK.

-They got the akuma in a jar.

-Wait, Chat noir defeated an akuma without Ladybug. (sure he had outside help, but Ladybug has done that too). Good on him

-WELL S*** THAT WAS TRIPPY.

-Felix and Kagami asked for Marinette's help. so was that all the sentimonster doing so? I am lost

-Okay so, I may not LIKE exactly how they went about it. But I cant really hate them for what they did. They are just kids that want to pick someone they trust.

-Oh s***, Ladybug never cast miraculous cure. So Adrien has some perminant trauma from the fight with Nightormentor. He still sees the antichat visions (its not chat blanc, and its just reverse color pallet)

-Chat noir left. before he could tell her. Cause the nightmare messed with him

-WAIT DID TOMOE AND GABRIEL JUST LOCK THEIR CHILDREN IN STERILE ROOMS? WTF!

_________________________________________________________

Okay! This episode was A LOT.

Well there is no denying Sentimonster theory. Its confirmed. Its done. 100% GUARANTEE NO MONEY BACK.

It did explain a LOT about Felix and Adrien.

So I am still iffy on how it was handled.

Now this DOES NOT justify Felix's Actions. He was still an a**hole. And Kagami shouldnt have told Felix. Marinette is Ladybug. That was NOT her secret to tell.

BUT the play that explained what happened was very well done. It explained a LOT about the Graham de Vanily family and Felix's a**hole father.

I will say that I hated how tortured Marinette was during this. Felix and Kagami could have done something less cruel to lure her there.

I also greatly enjoyed Chat noir vs Nightormentor. very good catharsis and we have Adrien going through some additional mental trauma, inflicted by his father (I wouldnt call it Ironic, more of EXPECTED)

I give it 7.5/10

I will say its the most I have enjoyed the second half of this season since Emotion.

[omgthatdress]

In the books, Nellie was an Irish-American servant girl that Samantha befriends and teaches to read. Because Samantha is nine and has had a fairly sheltered upbringing, she doesn’t quite have the understandings of class structure that separates her and Nellie, she just sees a friend. Nellie opens Samantha’s eyes to the broader world beyond Grandmary’s mansion and helps her understand the social issues facing turn-of-the century America.

In Changes for Samantha, Grandmary has finally married Admiral Archibald Beemis, and Samantha has gone to live with Uncle Gard and Cornelia in New York City. There, she finds out that Nellie’s parents have died and she is living with her uncle Mike in the city. Samantha sets out to find her, only to find that she’s been abandoned and is living in an orphanage. Eventually, she helps Nellie and her sisters escape, and they come to be adopted by Uncle Gard and Cornelia.

I always thought that felt like an unreasonably happy ending for Nellie, given her social inferiority and that adoption was actually fairly taboo in the era of social darwinism and eugenics, but I also know that rich White progressives of the era LOVED doing shit like that, so I guess it’s not completely unreasonable.

Reading the summary of the book Nellie’s Promise made me sooooooo fucking happy. It gets into all those issues of social inequality and gives Nellie a lot more agency in being more than just a lucky orphan. I especially loved the parts about how Nellie was unhappy going to Samantha’s private girl’s school where she was learning nothing practical and only being trained in how to be a rich society wife. Nellie knew she needed a practical education so that she’d be able to secure a job in the future and fulfill her promise of taking care of her sisters. In the end, she’s able to enroll in a vocational school that fits her needs. I love it. I love it so fucking much.

Before I go any further, I should probably just go ahead and say that in this era, the Irish were still very much considered White. The definition of Whiteness in the 1900s was very different from what it is today (plz read The History of White People by Nell Irvin), and some people were Whiter than others, but the Irish were White. White*, if you will. They would be listed as White on all their legal documents, and weren’t faced with segregation the way that Black people were. The Irish were never slaves (they sure as shit were slave owners, though!) and don’t ever fucking compare anti-Irish discrimination to anti-Blackness and anti-Semitism. They are all their own unique things and playing the oppression olympics does no one any good. And YES I know about the history of the colonization of Ireland by England and anti-Irish attitudes in the UK, but I’m talking about American history. Anti-Irish American history and Anti-Irish British history are very, very different.

There’s a lot of raging ongoing debate about the extent to which the Irish were discriminated against in the US, and yes, there was discrimination. But literally EVERY immigrant group in the US faced discrimination and even violence. There’s a lot of academic debate about the whole “No Irish Need Apply” thing, but it was like that for EVERYONE. Italians, Poles, Greeks, Germans, Swedes, you name it, immigrants in general were all treated as unwelcome and less-than by the Anglo-Saxon Protestant powers that be at some point, the Irish were just another part of that. The idea that the Irish were somehow unique or special in their discrimination in America is a myth.

The point I’m making is that a lot of conservative Irish-Americans LOVE to make big maudlin claims of Irish victimhood and Irish slavery (THE IRISH WERE NEVER SLAVES) that somehow means they’re somehow exempt from having White privilege and taking personal responsibility to not be a racist fuck. That is pure bullshit, Irish-Americans have been White as fuck ever since JFK.

ANYWAY. All that being said, I love Nellie’s little outfit. It’s actually super accurate! A lovely little summer dress, perfect for visiting the ice cream parlor!

(The Museum of London, credit @in-pleasant-company​)

Again, like with Samantha, the hat should be more perched on the hair and held in place with hat pins rather than fitted to the head. But that’s probably beyond your average 7-year-old’s patience, so I guess I can give them a pass.

[itspdameronthings]

Never Letting You Go Ch10

Summary: Okay! Here it is!! Another filled chapter. Promise there will be some romance in the next chapter. Maybe do a mini one. In this chapter deals with Will meeting Jay Milles. Also deals with Santi's emotional state. Not giving too much away. Benny tries to help.

Warning: mentions emotional breakdowns. if this bothers you? skim pass that part.

 hearing his cousin’s voice after all of these years hurt his soul. His buddy was always Willthere when he needed advice on things. Taught him how to be the older brother. When Jay left to pursue his Olympic dream,and going to jail for the reason Will forgot about. Now he is on the phone. Went outside to chat so the others can't hear,” Now you call you no go for nothing scumbag! Hiddin from the world doesn't fucking help! I should know! Been there and done that! Benny needed ya! Not to mentionLittle Bit Remember her?! Fragile girl ya promised to look after Benny and I when we were in the Army?!” Jay tried to get a word in but it was no use! Till he yells,” I fucking get it?! Shit! Was in a bad place?! Was messed up after picking up that crazy hitchhiker ! Thought.. I loved her man! Reason for the call. I'm aware of the crazy mother situation. Wanna help okay? Maybe.. I can ya know stay with Benny and Little Bit so you can do what you were planning! Let me try to make things right? Ready to come out of hiding.” 

Hiding? Is that what Jay calls it? More like running. Will can't really blame him. Seen this behavior in Santi many many times. Reason why he took the FBI job. Thought he wasn't a good man for you. Finally he realized that you are his rock. Reason for living. Benny too. Which he never admitted to. Started to have feelings for him soon after the three of you got together. Took a breath,” Where are you? I can come over to pick ya up.” Taking a deep breath,” I'm at the diner across the street from your gym. “ 

Will comes back inside. Sees his brother on the couch. Sees Santi and Frankie is out of ear shot whispers,” Going into town for abit. Won't be long. “ Benny nods from his seat. Not before looking upstairs thinking about you. Hope you are resting. Little does your family know. You are about to sneak out. Opening the balcony door very quickly,and quietly. Walking slowly down the stairs only to see Will looking at you,” Where do you think you are going? If you are runnin away..” Taking a deep breath while fixing a messy ponytail while walking towards the truck,” Need to be with my big brother right now. Is that too much to ask? Go out like we used to. “ Reach out to pull your delicate frame into his strong arms. True he missed those times where the two of you went out . Talking about what's going on with them. Kisses top of your head,” Sure why not. Have to tell ya reason for goin into town.” 

“ Shittin me?! Jay ?! After how many fuckin years! Why now! “ Tightened the grip on the steering wheel while driving down the gravel road,” Wants to help okay? He knows what happened at home. Just give him a chance okay?” This isn't sitting well for you. His name has no bearing to you. Hurt when he left. No good bye nada. Never knew the real reason why he left after the Olympics. Knew he and his father had a falling out,but why ? Can't wait to hear his explanation.

Benny goes upstairs to see the bed empty. Okay, look in the bathroom. Followed by the rest of the house. Fear gripping him . Fearing that something has happened. Run downstairs to see the others. Panicking,” She's gone ! Can't find her! “ Santi tried to call the young man down just enough to hope he could get through to him,” We know she won't go far. Bet she is either with Sam ,or Will. Even at the pier throwing rocks in the lake. “ Frankie goes over to the side to text Will to see where you were. Few seconds later Will texted back. Wasn't Will was you. Saying that you are with him. Not to worry. 

“ She's with Ironhead. Not to worry. I'm gonna go to pick up the wifey and baby girl. I'll be back soon. “ Benny walks over to his friend hugging him,” Thanks man for helpin. I know Rose might not understand why ya don this dangerous thang.” Frankie smiles,” oh she will. Have to protect the ones we care about. As for your brother coming with me? Think that might be a possibility. “ 

Both of you arrived at the diner. In the window see Jay . After all of these years. Still looks and dresses the same. Jeans gray tee to match his mood. Will takes your hand to deliver some strength,” Would be okay hon. Try to hear him out kay? Besides, I'll order ya your favorite comfort food. “ First time today a smile brighten your face,* Love that big brother. Maybe… can you order something for the boys? Ya know? Peace offering? Especially… my Santi. Shouldn't have yelled at him like that. I… know he wants to protect me.” Taking a deep breath Will looks at you nods,” Think that would be a good idea Little Bit. Be just a moment, okay?” 

Jay looks to his left. Sees Will. Cousin who hasn't changed all too much. Even though he is more muscular. You on the other hand have changed so much. Not that awkward teen that wore black all the time. Looking like a beautiful woman, Benny is so lucky . Noticed you looking at him. Look at both sad,and anger. Goes over to both of you,” Look good Little Bit. Good to see you.” Look in your eyes caused you to yell loud enough for him to hear,” You have no right to call me that! Only ones I care about can!   That promise was broken! Will says I have to give ya benefit of a doubt. Be with your family.” Hearing this made Will smile. Cleared his throat,” She's right cuz. Now… tell us what happened at home “  Leading two of you to the table. Not missing a beat sitting across from both of you,” All I can say the crazy mama reminded me of that chick that wrecked me.” 

Santi is alone with his thoughts. Thinking about you. His precious baby girl. Hate to see that look of sadness in those eyes. Ones that could calm his very soul. Followed by your soft touches. Leaning against the porch railing watching the wind blowing the trees,but he doesn't know that Benny is watching from afar. Thinking about the same thing. Stands next to him. Cleared his throat,” She needs us more than ever ya know. Her mental health is so fragile. Can't see her break down again. Broke my heart when it happened last time. “ Santi looks at Benny ,”  Exactly what happened. She never opened up to me. Was it during a trauma?” Time for him to find out the truth. Truth about the one before that. One that still haunts him to this day,” Wasn't long after you joined the FBI btw I know why taking that job. Thought you weren't good enough for her. Never said anything. Her mom managed to find her when she was an intern. She was in the ER with heart problems. Baby girl lost it. Which Sam had to call me. Gemma in her state managed to lay in on her. That's when I arrived at her aid.  Poor baby girl was shaking like a leaf.after that moment brought her to the farm to help her .  Took her a few days to calm down. “ Santi started to understand. Heart tried not to break. Was surprised when Benny held him in his arms. Rubbing his back,” Let it out daddy. I'm right here. We will get through this together. “ Santi melts into his embrace. At that moment he didn't want to let go of the younger Miller. For the longest time he withheld his true feelings for him. Thought it was a phase. Would pass. Until three of you got married. Those feelings came back with a vengeance. Were moments he would spill his guts,but lost his nerve. Not gonna chicken out now. Softly sobbed on Benny,’s chest,” Wanna tell you something that I should have told you a long time ago. I love you. Not like a brother,but.. more like how our baby does. It finally hit me when you were in the hospital after your last fight. Wanted to be with you so bad! Even on our wedding night. Even when you had a nightmare when she and Will went off on an adventure together. Wanted to comfort you like she does.” Benny held him tighter. Those words filled his heart with joy. Took him long enough to tell him. Kisses his head,” took ya long enough to tell me. Was waitin to see how long you would tell me. I'm glad ya did. Don't want ya to be afraid to talk to me,and kitten. We are a family member? “ 

You and Will arrive home. Jay slowly gets out of his truck. Look around the property. Nestled two modern looking  farmhouses. Sam comes running towards her husband,” Glad your home my captain. Oh! See we have a guest?” Takes her hand in his large one,” Yeah, my cousin Jay. He will be staying with us While I go to help Fish. “ Jay comes over, you whisper,” I will keep my promise this time. Need ya to believe me.” Slowly walking away with a bag of food,” Hope you do. Now excuse me. Have to get home to my boys.” 

Walking up towards the porch,  see  a beautiful site. Your boys sharing a beautiful moment. Didn't want to interrupt till Benny sees you. Reches his hand out,” Glad your home kitten. See you brought food! Let's go inside “ Santi pulls you close to him kissing your forehead,” Sorry I upset you before. Old habits you know. See now I have to stay. Help you heal not like before. “ Hugging him tighter,” Glad to hear that daddy. Glad both of you finally shared a tender moment. Yes I saw both of you kiss just now. Wouldn't want to miss both of you share more than a kiss “

Tag list: @rhoorl,@laurfilijames @romanarose @musings-of-a-rose

[outsideratheart]

My Heart Belongs To You (Sofia Huerta x reader)

After the World Cup it seemed that the whole world had their eyes on you so when your manager told you that Chelsea had made an offer, it was like a dream come true. Even so you still told him that you had to think about it, moving to England meant moving away from Chicago, a place you then called home and it also meant leaving someone very import, that person, Sofia Huerta.

You are playing your best football at Chelsea, you had a starting spot and was fast becoming one of the best midfielders in Europe.  2021 would go down as one of the best and worst years of your life.

Chelsea won the WSL, the Conti cup, the FA cup and ended their season winning the Champions League, fans around the world called it the perfect season. However, in the final ten minutes of the champions league final you were involved in a freak accident resulting in a torn ACL and MCL meaning that you wouldn’t be able to play in the olympics.

The last time you were in the United States for was the SheBelieves Cup in 2020, almost two years ago but now it was time to go home.

You have officially been cleared by the doctors at Chelsea and have been given the thumbs up to join the USWNT in Chula Vista. Tobin agreed to stay with you in London until you had the green light then you would fly to the states together, another bonus of having one of your closest friends with you in England even if they did play for your rivals.

The USWNT has just arrived at the playing field when the notice somebody is missing.

“Hey Chris, Where’s Tobin? I thought you said she was arriving last night” Kelley asks.

Besides the coaching staff, Christen is the only other person besides Tobin that knows you are coming.

“Their flight got delayed and landed about hour ago but they are coming straight here” Christen answered.

Her response causes a lot of confusion amongst the group of players around her.

“They?” Mal asks.

“I said her, as in Tobin’s flight” Christen panics as she realises she has slipped up.

Much to her relief nobody questions it any further.

Players separate into their small groups passing a ball around whilst the coaching staff set everything up.

“Can I ask you something?” Sofia says taking a seat near Christen as the forward ties her cleats.

Christen nods her head, surprised that Sofia didn’t come talk to her the night prior. When Christen was in London she spent a lot of time with you whilst Tobin was at training or team events. The two of you would talk about anything and everything but what surprised Christen was how open you were about your relationship with Sofia and how much you still cared for the defender even though you were no longer together.

“How is she?” Sofia asks knowing that she didn’t need to mention you by name, Christen would just know.

“She is better now. I arrived in London a few months after her surgery, she was still on rest. She wasn’t our Y/N, I didn’t recognise her. I tried to cheer her up but nothing worked, that was until I talked about you, she was so happy when she found out you had been called up” Sofia smiles at the memory of her call up, even after not talking for over a year, you were still the person she wanted to call first but she couldn’t muster up enough courage to do so “She’s different Sof, you know how much playing soccer means to her and she got that taken away but I know that she will be ok, she is Y/N, nothing keeps her down for too long” Christen tells her former red stars team mate.

You and Tobin landed, went straight to the hotel, got changed and are now on your way to the training field. Nerves flood your body but the doctor assured you this was to be expected.

Walking to the field you and Tobin are in deep conversation about her Re-Inc stuff, so much so you didn’t realise the team had noticed you, that was until you saw Mal running at you full speed. You react just in time to catch her.

“Well if I knew this was the welcome I would receive I would have come back a lot sooner” you joke as you spin her around.

Mal was one of your closest friends in Chicago and she is amongst the people you have missed the most during your time over seas.

“I missed you Y/N, it hasn’t the same without you” She says as you put her down.

You and Mal walk to where Tobin is talking to the rest of the team. Each one of them welcoming you back with open arms, most of them taking a double take at your knee which is covered in a compression sleeve and a knee brace making it look a lot worse than it actually is.

The last person to greet you is Sofia and being the nosy people they are, the team watches the interaction. Whilst your relationship was never confirmed to the outside world, your club team mates knew your were dating as did your national team mates.

You wrap your arms around her a little tighter than you did everyone else. With your eyes closed you inhale deeply, oh how you missed the way she smelled and the way it always made you feel at ease no matter what was going on.

“I missed you” You whisper in her ear. Was it the right thing to say, maybe not but you had to tell her.

“I missed you too Y/N” Sofia replies softly.

The two of you stay their in each others arms for a few moments before Vlatko interrupts.

“It’s great to have you back with us Y/N” Vlatko tells you “How about you go get your cleats on and join us on the field” he pauses for a moment “that’s if the jet lag isn’t too bad, what time is it back in London?” He says looking at his watch.

“10pm” you and Tobin both say in unison.

You go the bench to get your cleats before joining the team on the pitch.

“At least you still know how to tie them” Sonnet says which pisses you off even though you know she is joking.

She runs off which gives you the perfect opportunity to get your payback. As she runs you clip her ankles causing her to fall flat on her face.

“Make sure you tie your laces Em” you say as you run past her.

You stand beside Kelley who puts her arm around your shoulders “The sass is back, oh how I have missed the sass” you simply shake your head, a smile on your face as you listen to what Vlatko is saying.

After ten minutes or so it is like you never missed a camp, the chemistry you have with the team is evident even with the new additions. What did surprise the team though is how well you and Sofia play together. Everyone knew you played together in Chicago but that was years ago, they didn’t expect you to be so in sync after all this time.

The team goes for a drinks break and Dawn takes the chance to do some checks on your knee.

“She is holding back” Mal says to no one in particular.

“What are you talking about, she is amazing, I mean I have seen her play on the TV but in person she is incredible” Trinity replies.

The team look your way when they hear your wince as Dawn moves your knee into an awkward position.

“Mal’s right” Alyssa agrees with the young forward “She is pulling her shots, trust me, I know when I am on the receiving end of her rockets and she hasn’t taken any today”

“I agree with Lyss, she isn’t fighting with me which she always does. There’s no aggression” Kelley says.

The team try to come up with a way for you to trust your knee now that is is healed. 

“She has been fully cleared?” Sofia asks Tobin who knows your recovery better than anyone.

Tobin nods.

“Ok, I have an idea but I’m not sure if you will like it and I know that Y/N won’t like it” Sofia says as she tells the team her plan.

You get called back to the group after taking some pain killers from Dawn, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by your ex.

The scrimmage continues, you make a run to the box waiting for Sofia to send in a cross just as she has done before but this time she doesn’t get the chance to as Rose takes her out. You feel your blood begin to boil but it soon settles when you see Sofia get up, no limp, no nothing. Still you are angry and believe in the saying ‘you reap what you sow’ so when you next had the ball and Rose came near you, you body checked her, putting her on her ass and then took a shot on goal, one that Alyssa had no chance of saving.

“There she is” Sofia says proudly as you quickly celebrate the goal.

“I know that Rose tackled you on purpose, how did you know I would retaliate?” you ask her as you walk back to your positions.

“You never used to let people come after me and get away with it” she says and she was right.

“Old habits, I suppose” you reply.

Sofia could look after herself, that much you knew but almost everyone in the NWSL knew that if they took out Sofia, they would have you to deal with.

Training is over a lot quicker than you had hoped, well your training was over. You walk off the pitch and back to the hotel with the team doc for a quick check up to make sure everything is as it should be.

When the team come back to the hotel, your absence is a hot topic.

“Do you think she is hurt again?” Sonnet asks.

Nobody knows for sure but they all hoped it wasn’t anything too serious. The team decide to go for showers before getting something to eat, by the time they come back down you are sat at a table with a plate of food.

Conversation soon began to flow, it wasn’t long before you start to get quizzed.

“I bet your parents were happy to see you at Christmas Y/N, what has it been two years?” Christen asks innocently, you couldn’t blame her she didn’t know that she was dropping you in it.

“Y/N didn’t go home for Christmas” Megan says “Me and Sue bumped into her parents in Seattle the day after boxing day. They said how much they missed her but were glad she won’t be spending Christmas alone”

Suddenly all eyes are on you but none burnt more that Sofia’s. When you look at her you saw hurt in her eyes. Who would you have been spending Christmas with if it wasn’t your family.

“I saw on instagram that you met up with Guro, is that who spent Christmas with? The two of you were awfully close when I visited Sam” Kristie says referring to your Chelsea team mate Guro Reiten.

Sofia is no longer looking at you instead she is playing with the food on her plate. You consider it a blessing in disguise when you called back in to the physio to continue your treatment.

“I didn't spend it with her. Come and find me when you're done and I will explain” you say in Spanish so that only Sofia will understand.

It is about an hour later when Sofia comes into the treatment room. 

After having your knee pushed to its limits you were in a little bit of pain so the physio gave you some pain killers, elevated your knee and put ice on it then turned the lights out as he left. 

So when she turned the light on you cover your eyes.

“Sofia Huerta, brightening my day since day one” you joke as you adjust to the light. 

She sits on the bed opposite you, not knowing what to say. 

“I’m not dating Guro” you tell her “we didn’t break up so that we could see other people. We broke up because you wanted me to focus on football and that is what I have done. My heart still belongs to you Sof, it always will”

“But Megan said” Sofia begins to speak but you cut her off.

You look away, adjusting the ice pack “I spent it alone” you say but you don’t look at her “I got cleared at the beginning of December, the plan was for me to come back in the first game of the year” you laugh at the memory, thinking back to how you thought things were finally getting better.

“What happened?” Sofia asked as you are still yet to make your Chelsea return.

“I wasn’t strong enough. I tried to hold off a team mate when I felt something pull in my knee, I was back on bed rest with my return put on hold” 

Sofia notices your change in demeanour. She nudges your good leg and you move over so that she can sit on the side of the treatment bed. You feel your body relax as she takes your hand in hers.

“I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone but Christen can be very determined. I knew that if I told her I was staying in London for Christmas she would volunteer to stay with me which meant that Tobin would stay too so I lied” you shrug your shoulders earning an eye roll from Sofia.

Sofia knows how much you love Christmas. You loved the food, the gift of giving presents, spending time with your family and watching the cheesiest hallmark movies.

“I wish you would have called me. I don’t like the thought of you spending Christmas alone” 

“It hated it. I was going to cook myself a dinner but I left it too late so I ended up ordering sushi, that I didn’t hate as much” you reply trying to lighten the mood.

Silence fills the room, the two of you not needing to talk as you simply enjoy each other’s company. You missed this, just being with her, it was like nothing had changed between the two of you.

When you look at your hands, more specifically hers, you see something that makes your heart skip a beat.

“You still wear it?” You ask in disbelief as you begin playing with the promise ring you got her for your anniversary.

Whilst a smile tugs at your lips, a frown grows on hers.

Your fingers were empty, no ring.

“You don’t wear yours?”

You unlink your hands as you reach into your shirt. You pull out a chain that holds a similar ring she gave you on your birthday.

“It was too hard seeing it everyday but I never take it off” 

The fact that you wore the ring but not on the finger she placed in on all those years ago didn’t sit well with the defender. It felt to her like you was hiding that part of you, the part that loves or at least loved her. 

“Hey, look at me” Sofia does as she’s told “you’re overthinking it. Would it make you feel better if I did this” 

You proceed to take the necklace off and place the ring on you right finger. 

“I still have your heart?” Sofia asks referring to the earlier statement.

“You do. When you broke up with me it hurt but I couldn’t be mad at your reasons because they weren’t malicious” 

“I wish I never did it” Sofia tells you.

“Sof” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Both anger and relief wash over you. If she would have told you this sooner you could have been together.

“I know I have no right to say that but I have wanted to tell you for a while”

Sofia begins rambling, something she has always done when she is nervous and you find it just as adorable as you did when you were dating.

“Sofia” you try to get her to stop talking but you fail miserably.

You kiss her mid sentence knowing that it will definitely make her stop talking. You plan on it being a peck but when Sofia deepens the kiss you don’t pull away. Nothing compared to the way you felt when you kissed her, the past seemed to become irrelevant and so does the future. The two of you are focused on the present.

“Why do we make things more difficult for ourselves” Sofia says whilst she tries to regain her breath.

“I didn’t make this hard, you did. I know I moved away but I told you I wanted to be with you and that I was willing to fight for us”

“I wish that—“ 

“Y/N are you ok?” Christen comes into the physio’s room fully unaware of the moment she is interrupting.

“She’s ok” Sofia beats you too it.

You see Christen eying you up, her gaze zoning in on your lips and you can only imagine that they are swollen given your make out session.

“Of course she is, she is with you” Christen says “Whilst I did want to come to see if you were ok, I have also been sent in to get you. We are going to play Uno and Kelley is demanding you play, something about the rest of us not being a challenge for her”

The three of you go back to the team. It is obvious that they have questions but they know you well enough to respect your privacy even though it is killing them inside.

“Before we start I have a question for Y/N” Rose asks.

You roll your eyes “I thought we were playing Uno not truth or dare”

When you sit down, Sofia sits in the seat next to you. A smile tugs at your lips when she pull her chair closer to yours, your hand sits comfortably on her thigh and you are relived when she makes no effort to move it.

“One question” Rose gives you her best puppy dog eyes to which you nod your head “you’re contract is up at the end of the season right?” 

Again you nod your head but you feel Sofia stiffen beside you. Clearly she has thought about this too.

“Are you going to resign?”

You shake your head. You look at Sofia who is hanging on your every word. You send her wink before turning your attention back to the table.

“You’re coming back to Chicago?“ Mal asks rather excitedly.

“She’s coming home” Megan says.

You give her a look. You were born and raised in Seattle but you both know that isn’t the reason for you returning to the Emerald city.

“You are?” Sofia asks you.

“Playing overseas was never part of my forever plan Sofia. I told you when I left that I would come back to you, you just didn’t believe me. You let me put my career first and I am grateful for that but I think it’s time I give my heart what it wants and what it wants is you” you whisper so only she can hear you.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

i know that only like 2 other people on this webbed site care about womens volleyball but what is everyones thoughts on vnl so far and olympic predictions 👀

i think china, italy, and japan are gonna qualify through vnls for the olympics. i cant make my mind up between canada and netherlands for the fourth spot, on the one hand canada is ranked slightly higher rn and have played the best ive seen them but also the netherlands match against china was really impressive

i think vnl quarterfinals is gonna be:

thailand - hosting so automatic qualification, theyre my fav team and im happy they get to host the final round but i dont think my girlies are gonna make it past quarterfinals, at least not this year (though their win against dominican republic was great AND they took a set from the usa even if their loss to korea was frustrating, something happened between weeks 1 and 2 and they came out stronger because of it also my girl wipawee is proving me right that this is her year)

brasil - currently ranked 1 and their bench and starters have been lethal. gabi is solid as always nyeme has been making so many great saves. also i love the way the crowds erupt when thaisa comes on court i never get tired of it. i think they can make it to finals if not taking gold

usa - i know they havent been dominating but they seem to still be testing out their younger players, like washington/drews/hancock all havent even played yet- drews aint even on the roster and shes usually a go to player for them. their loss to china sure was something and they lost to brasil for the first time in like 5 years but their week 1 team wasn't their strongest and we knew this, it certainly gave newer players/ their bench some good experiance. excited to see how they match up with poland and turkiye later this week.

poland - lavarini has been great for them also they have wołosz back and stysiak is a monster and i thought genuinely they had a great chance of making it to finals last year if texas ac hadnt sabotoged them

italy - (now that egonu an sylla are back) for sure they can do it also antrapova in their pocket is great and in general despite the stumbling last year their team is doing well this tournament like their win againt turikye was great and that was with their week 1 squad

turkiye - won last year and are in a great position having both karakurt and vargas- (i like their odds better when they use them as subs for eachother more than having karakurt play outside but santarelli obviously knows much much more than me lol) they havent swept as much as i thought they would but they are human. and if they are on their game then theyre unstoppable but 3-1 loss to italy and 3-2 to japan took me by surprise. still would never count them out theyre obviously making it through. excited to see their game against serbia tn

china - silver metalists from last vnl. yall know i love yuan xin yue and want to see her play but also wang yuan yuan has been great this week also zhu ting is back on the roster!!!!!!! as im writing this their ranked 4 so i have a good feeling about them

for the last team idk but it could be:

japan - put some respect on kogas name!! girlie has been fantastic this tournement and winning against turkiye is huge imo and theyre game against brasil was amazing even if they didnt win they fought hard those 5 sets. genuinely i think japan is more primed to win the mental battle of the game i have such high hopes for them

canada - if they can get back to their week 1 play style i wouldnt count them out even tho its unlikely

serbia - usually is an easy prediciton but theyre right now behind korea in the rankings.... but they dont have boscovic back and their squad seems to be pretty young and they fight hard so it can still be them

dominican republic - though they haven't been winning a ton so far they are one of my ult teams i love them dearly and i hope castillo joins them again soon cause she is my favorite libero

i dont really have thoughts on olympics as of now except for my qualification predictions

hoping a single other person wants to talk about this!!

[wrongcaitlyn]

Did Apollo help name any of his kids? Or did he have any especially memorable moments with Will and Austin when they were babies? Or even like doing his best moments to help Latricia, Naomi, or Darren (while they were still together) when they were pregnant?

ahhh omg this is such a good question! i think that for austin, latricia had the name picked out, and apollo completely agreed with it (also because he knew beforehand that the kids would be spending a majority of their time with their moms seeing as his schedule was jampacked already) - as for will, i think in canon it's really funny to imagine that will was named after william shakespeare (another apollo kid) so i'm gonna say that naomi and apollo both thought of that one together. also apollo wanted to have the pun "if there's a will, there's a way". i just think he would love thatLKDSF - and idk if this is popular hc or anything but i think andrew (will's middle name) is the name of someone on naomi's side, maybe her father or grandfather, and so they decided on that (seeing as i have canonically made naomi's parents dead in tyt, and i think she would be the person to pass down that name in his memory!)

as for kayla, she's the only kid who had her parents still together when finding out that darren was pregnant, so i definitely think that they talked about the name together and decided on it together (even though it would be incredibly heartbreaking if they hadn't decided on a name yet, and because darren and apollo broke up on bad terms right before kayla's birth, he had to look out for the media and read tabloids to find out what his own daughter's name was. but i value my own mental health so i'm going to say that's not the case, and that they decided on kayla beforehand!

this is especially meaningful because (and i totally didn't just look this up rn) kayla means "crown of laurels" and "god-like", which, coming from an olympic athlete and a popstar named after a god is very fitting! also because she was being born right before the 2004 olympics, so idk if this makes sense but i kinda see it as if they were manifesting darren still being able to make a full recovery/compete in the olympics...dskjf

also apollo likes how "kayla knowles" looks because of the alliteration (yes, the k is silent in knowles, but it looks pretty)

as for being around when the kids were young... apollo was pretty absent, unfortunately😭 i know that there's one thing i mentioned, where apollo was on a red carpet with naomi and will when he was really young (three, i think?) and so there was definitely that moment for will!

and i do think he managed to make the most time to be around will, just because his relationship with naomi had been "good" publicity, whereas drawing attention to the fact that he had a child with a non-celebrity was more "bad" publicity

and being around darren was an automatic no, so yeah, rip kayla & apollo relationship until she moved in😭

however i think he definitely tried to make as much time as he could for will and austin! unfortunately, his schedule was incredibly jam-packed, and so he didn't get as much time with them as he would have liked - also, the fact that he was still really young during that time! will was just born when apollo was 20, and he was constantly in the middle of press tours and concert tours and filming movies etc. (i'm also not saying he was a perfect father though, he was probably incredibly irresponsible during that time period. and i also imagine that with his father being.... yk. apollo prob thought being out of the picture completely would be better than messing up his kids, which is a fear that he continues to face even when he has to take them in)

i think that he probably imagined it all winding down eventually, and that he would one day be able to spend more time with those kids - especially once his relationship with darren became more committed, i think he really did plan to be in kayla's life as a present parent. and then everything crashed and burned, and it just didn't work out that way until a few years later :/

thank you for the ask!! i love thinking about apollo's early life, it's really like pre-character development lester, and it's so interesting to see how that would be portrayed in like. an actual teenager apollo instead of immortal god apollo!

[magdasabs]

Nathalie Björn about the football World Cup, the girlfriend and the dream of becoming a pathologist

As a warm-up for the soccer World Cup in Australia and New Zealand, we meet national team star Nathalie Björn, who talks about the blue-yellow golden chances, everyday life in Liverpool with teammate and life partner Aurora Galli - as well as the secret dream of becoming obducent.

It's a homecoming hero settling down with a cappuccino in the flourishing Josef Frank armchair. We'll meet at Soho House in Stockholm, the international members' club housed in a top-renovated old Methodist church on a discreet back street in Östermalm. Nathalie Björn is on a temporary visit to Sweden to forge golden plans with the rest of the Swedish national team squad.

- I want a gold medal. That's just the way it is, says the 26-year-old defender with a smile.

Nathalie Björn in a jacket from Tiger of Sweden. Necklace, Enamel Copenhagen

Nathalie has just been named Player of the Year after her second season at Everton, an award that feels extra honorable as it is her teammates who have voted for her. The big club finished in sixth place in the English Women's Super League, but instead of a long well-deserved holiday, it was just a matter of changing the Everton jersey for the blue-yellow national team uniform and heading home to Sweden for the preparations for the World Cup in New Zealand and Australia.

- It still feels good to get a short breather at home before we go on to the WC. I have a few days now where I can disconnect from football and feel normal before I recharge mentally for New Zealand and Australia.

Easy to forget that I'm actually living the dream

The Swedish national team has been among the top in the world since the end of the 90s and continues to be at the forefront even when the general development in women's football has caught up and more national teams have become increasingly better. In last year's European Championships, Nathalie and the rest of Blågult made it to the semi-finals where they went out against the host nation England. In this summer's world championships, they are hungry for revenge and have great chances for a medal.

- You are so strict with yourself and just want to move on all the time. It's easy to forget that I'm actually living the dream. I represent Sweden in front of packed stadiums, which I dreamed of when I was little. Stepping out of the players' tunnel in front of all the blue and yellow supporters and singing the national anthem together with the best players in Sweden is the best feeling in the world. Nothing beats the pride you feel then.

Playing against the roommate in the football World Cup

The fact that the football World Cup is played down under means that we in Sweden get to follow many of the matches for breakfast, sometimes with kick-off as early as seven o'clock Swedish time. The fact that Sweden ended up in the same group as Italy also means that Nathalie is face to face with her partner Aurora Galli , the Italian midfielder with whom she plays everyday at Everton.

Nathalie Björn and partner Aurora Galli. "It was love at first sight."

Photo: Nathalie Björn/Private

- She signed for Everton at the same time as me, but came to the club earlier because I played in the Olympics in Tokyo. It sounds so corny, but it was love at first sight. I had never had a girlfriend before. I knew I was drawn to personalities whether they were boys or girls, but I had only had boyfriends before. When I came to England I had just broken up with a guy and suddenly I met Aurora and felt it was more than just friendship. It was just such a strong feeling and so it became us. Now we have been together for a year and a half.

Everton FC is based in Liverpool, the classic working-class city in the north of England that gave us both The Beatles and the latest Eurovision Song Contest with Loreen as the winner.

- I like Liverpool. It is an old harbor town, so it is always close to the water, which creates a nice atmosphere. It is a nice town with many good restaurants and shops.

Nathalie and Aurora live in the Liverpool suburb of Huyton in a typical British two-storey red brick house.

- It looks exactly as you imagine. A British terraced house with carpet everywhere except in the bathroom, and a small scrub under the stairs like in Harry Potter where we threw in shoes and bags and all sorts of crap. Outside there is a small garden with artificial grass and a fence.

Nathalie Björn in a dress from Dagmar. Earrings, Pilgrim. Photo: Sanna Dahlén

British suburban life is set in stone, not least for an elite level footballer.

- I won't say it's boring, but it's the same thing all the time. The alarm clock rings just after eight, then we register the day's form via an app on the phones. There you enter how much you have slept or if you have calf pain. When it's finished and sent to the club, we fall asleep again and sleep for another hour or so. At ten o'clock there is breakfast at the training facility, which is ten minutes from home. Classic English breakfast with white beans in tomato sauce, toast, eggs, fried tomato and mushrooms. Afterwards, we warm up with various exercises before going out and practicing football for an hour and a half. Then we shower, eat lunch, work out in the gym, shower again and go home at two. We have a match on Sundays, then it could be the bus down to London and stay there one night in a hotel. We are closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. That's what life looks like.

Dreaming of a big house in Sweden

Nathalie and Aurora are, to say the least, a high-achieving couple who represent their respective home countries in football when they are not playing side by side in one of England's most storied clubs. Despite that, or maybe because of that, they talk about everything but football when they get home.

- It happens that we discuss football in the car on the way home from training, but when we get home we want to talk about other things. It's really nice.

In addition to the house in Liverpool, which the couple rents from the football club, Nathalie has just bought an apartment in her childhood city of Uppsala.

- I want to have my own home in Sweden. A fixed point. I'm so tired of living in a suitcase or in a guest room with mom or dad, especially when you're used to living on your own.

Nathalie grew up in the district of Årsta in Uppsala. Mother worked in elderly care and father was a plumber. The parents divorced early and Nathalie was an only child for a long time, but today she has younger siblings on both her mother's and father's side. It was her father who got her to start playing football at the age of four.

Nathalie Björn in a sweater from Adnym Atelier. Trousers, Baum und Pferdgarten. Earrings, Pilgrim and Glitter. Loafers, Vagabond. Photo: Sanna Dahlén

- He was an old footballer himself and made me invest in football instead of dancing, even though I still love to dance. Dad often visits England and has been to all the championships, except the Olympics in Tokyo when we played without an audience due to the pandemic. Mother doesn't have time to come as often, but she is there as often as she can. Both mum and dad are very proud of me. I really feel that.

In the future, Nathalie dreams of a big house in Sweden and another one in Italy.

- I'm not so much in favor of burning money on sports cars, but I want to save up and build my own house near my family and friends. The dream is to have a house in Uppsala and a house in Italy. Maybe in Tromello where the girl is from, it's a small village in northern Italy, an hour outside of Milan. The girl says you can't have two houses because it costs too much money, but we'll see.

Any plans for children lie further ahead and are not as straightforward as for the colleagues on the men's side who can let wives, girlfriends and nannies do the grunt work. Nathalie glances at how her older national team mates solve that part.

- Right now I don't want children, but one day. I have no idea how long I will play football. Caroline Seger is 38 and Hedvig Lindahl 40, so there is a lot of time left. It can be difficult to start a family during your career. If you could do like Elin Rubensson and have children and then come back to the national team, it would be awesome. Also, I'm with a girl, which can also prolong the process, so I have no idea. Regardless, it's marriage that counts first and foremost, my girl jokes. She is Italian and traditional. But there is no stress.

Nathalie Björn lives in a terraced house in Liverpool with her girlfriend and teammate Aurora Galli. Photo: Sanna Dahlén / Sanna Dahlén

Expected to have an opinion like a football player

The football world is more politically charged than ever. Last year's controversial men's World Cup in Qatar was more about politics than football and was marred by protests, boycotts and wild debates. When it became clear earlier this year that rainbow colored captain's armbands will also be banned during the women's soccer World Cup this summer, just like for the men in Qatar, the debate flared up again. Although the discussions make sense and it's never wrong to use your platform to highlight important issues, the idea of ​​football as a non-political arena can feel more attractive than ever. As a player, it is not enough to spend all your waking hours pushing your body and psyche to the limit in order to be the best, but you also have to have an opinion about rainbow bandages and the gender pay gap, and be fully educated about how small desert nations stand on human rights.

Nathalie Björn in the national team jersey. Photo: FREDRIK JONASSON / STELLA PICTURES

- You are always expected to have an opinion, especially as a female footballer, but sometimes you don't. Most recently, it was the rainbow ties and the prize money in the World Cup that people were talking about. Often you haven't even reflected on these political things and try to answer as best you can. Then it looks as if you are whining in the media.

Managing the media is difficult. British tabloid press is notorious and Nathalie steeled herself before moving to a country as football-crazy as England, but today she feels that British media are far more stimulating than the Swedish ones.

- You always hear that the British press is so terrible, but I feel that they are much nicer than the Swedish media. Even if we win, there will often be complaints afterwards, critical questions asked and negative views. Perhaps it is typically Swedish. We are celebrated in a completely different way in England.

Nathalie Björn in top from Viktoria Chan. Pants, Teurn Studios. Jewelry, Nootka. Slippers, Birkenstock.

Nathalie Björn in top from Viktoria Chan. Pants, Teurn Studios. Jewelry, Nootka. Slippers, Birkenstock. Photo: Sanna Dahlén

When Nathalie is not playing soccer, she wallows in blood and murder. Crime series such as Criminal minds , True detective and Mindhunter replace each other in front of the TV sofa at home in Liverpool and the interest in murder mysteries does not stop there.

- I studied forensic psychology to learn how the brain of a serial killer works. It was part of the course to attend a trial, so I brought Caroline Seger with me when we both played in Rosengård. It was a drug case where a guy had been smoking weed and we happened to be late. All eyes turned to us as we stepped into the minimal courtroom. The perpetrator and the prosecutors understood nothing: What the hell is the Swedish national team doing here? It was so stiff.

Dreaming of becoming a pathologist

The 26-year-old has a secret plan B for the day it's time to put the football boots on the shelf.

- I have a strange dream and it is to become a pathologist. I want to be able to say: Okay, this is the cause of death. I don't know if I want to be a pathologist, but I definitely could have been a nurse and then an assistant medical examiner. I've looked that up a bit, and it's only a three-year degree.

Nathalie Björn looks out over the grand hall at Soho House, bathed in the kaleidoscopic summer light of the church windows.

- But first I have to win the WC.

The Swedish national soccer team showed its support for Iran's women at an international match against France last fall. Back row from left: Nathalie Björn, Amanda Ilestedt, Zećira Mušović, Stina Blackstenius, Lina Hurtig and Magdalena Eriksson. Front row from left: Filippa Angeldahl, Elin Rubensson, Kosovare Asllani, Olivia Schough and Jonna Andersson. Photo: BJÖRN LARSSON ROSVALL/TT / TT NEWS AGENCY

[always-rolling-my-eyes]

Here are my thoughts on the DWTS Cast and Partnerships

Who I’m excited for:

-Stephen and Rylee - Mr. Pummel Horse Man! Before the Olympics even started I thought it would be cool if DWTS got a male gymnast for a change and after he went viral I knew he was a lock for the show. He’s clearly the early frontrunner and barring anything catastrophic, I can’t see them not making the finals because even if his dancing skills are subpar he will for sure be the People’s Prince and will be raking in the votes. I’m a little disappointed he didn’t get paired with Britt or Daniella, but I lowkey feel like Rylee is being primed to be the new face of the show to attract a new generation so, I’m not too surprised they gave her the ringer of the season. Plus, I’m looking forward to seeing what she can do choreography-wise with a competent partner. They’re my preseason winner pick

-Illona and Alan - Love her personality, love her attitude, love her confidence, love her. I am SO happy she is doing the show. I was worried they wouldn’t want more than one Olympian on the season but I am so glad that wasn’t the case. Not only do I think she is going to kill it but I also think she will be the most fun. I have high hopes for Alan, he’s usually pretty reliable when it comes to choreography. I don’t really remember anything remarkable from him over the years, but I also don’t remember anything super terrible, so I think he knows the potential he has with this partnership and he won’t waste it. I think she could be the closest to spoiling Stephen’s win and it’s crazy how possible an all-Olympian Final 2 is

-Tori and Pasha - Donna Martin graduates! Sorry, but my fellow 90’s kids will know exactly what I’m talking about. I cannot be the only person who can’t believe she hasn’t done this show before, especially considering how many other 90210 cast members have been on already (RIP Shannon Doherty 💔🕊️) I don’t think she’ll be a great dancer, probably more middle of the pack, but she does have Pasha as a pro, and that goes a long way in this competition. I think with Pasha’s ability to teach / choreograph to his partner’s strengths and being the perfect 90’s nostalgia vote for the demographic, I can see her going far…unless she’s super, super terrible 😬

-Reginald and Emma - Oh, hi Big Guy! I didn’t even like Family Matters all that much but I still can’t tell you how lowkey excited I was when I heard his name, and I think a lot of others will feel the same. I think he’s going to be lovable and sweet and another one who will hit this demographic right in all the nostalgia feels. And with Emma as a partner, well that girl has proven herself (time and time again 😒) to being a miracle worker, and as frustrated as I am that she always gets partners like this, I can’t say I don’t enjoy the partnerships because she is just so good with them. He’s either an early boot or going far and the show will have to manipulate his elimination

Who I’m intrigued by:

-Danny and Witney - All I know is that he’s a football player and they notoriously do well on this show, so I have to admit I am very interested to see what he can do and WITNEY’S BACK! The last time she came back from a break she was better than ever so I am very much looking forward to seeing her in the ballroom again and I think this pair will be a dark horse to look out for

-Chandler and Brandon - I have never heard of her before. Disney girl, Pretty Little Liars spinoff, that’s all I got when I looked her up. I think she’s going to be a great dancer and Brandon will do great with her, however, I worry about her coming in with what could potentially be a very young and small fanbase and I don’t think the producers will go out of their way to help Brandon, do I can see this couple being a sacrificial lamb to help move forward the producers agenda. Then again, I had never heard of Xochitl last season and she won the whole damn thing so, who knows 😂

-Phaedra and Val - THIS A’INT PHAEDRA! (RHOA fans will understand) She’s hysterical, works hard and knows what needs to be done but doesn’t take herself too seriously. I think she will be a great performer but perhaps some of the more technical dances might be problematic for her but I think her personality will shine through no matter what. Still hate Val.

-Jenn and Sasha - I don’t watch any of the Bachelor / Bachelorette, but I heard she had a DEVASTATING night on Monday, like oh my god. This last minute addition does feel a little bit icky, like ABC is trying to ease some of the blowback they got from fans and the media for how she was treated during her finale, but I hope she has fun and enjoys the experience…well, as much as she can enjoy is with Sasha as her partner. I have zero faith in Sasha’s abilities. Why DWTS feels the need to continuously shove this untalented, misogynistic, offensive gremlin down our throats I will never know but all I can hope for is Jenn gets a positive experience out of it

Who I’m ehh on:

-Joey and Jenna - Like I said, I don’t watch any of the Bachelor / Bachelorette so I still kind of have no idea who this man is. Jenna’s a terrible teacher, so unless he has dance experience already he is not going to be good, but Bachelor Nation will probably carry him to at least the middle of the season, but I am curious if they will split votes between Joey and Jenn. I wonder who Bachelor Nation would rally behind, Joey or Jenn? But the real question is, who would the producers rally behind, Sasha or Jenna? 🤔 Watch this space…

-Brooks and Gleb - I have no idea who this woman is. A Sports Illustrated model? Great, more mediocre, sexy dances from Gleb, just what I was hoping for. I think they’ll get to week 3, MAYBE week 4, until Gleb checks out and they’ll end up being a middle, unexciting elimination

Who I wish I didn’t have to acknowledge their existence:

-Dwight and Dani - Never a fan of SA allegations, so I will not be supporting. Sucks Dani has to deal with this because I know she is probably going to come up with some amazing choreography for him but 🤮

-Eric and Britt - YUCK. So problematic, I just…don’t understand why they would even cast this man…did they think there would be a chance Julia would show up in the ballroom? Who am I kidding, they would’ve settled for Emma, but neither is happing, that’s for damn sure. Why do they keep doing this to Britt? She deserves so much better (no female pro deserves to have to deal with this, for the record) DWTS is never kind to her but at least she’s getting a husband out of it

-Anna and Ezra - I don’t care. I just…don’t care. The ankle monitor just shows how low this show is willing to go which is especially gross when there are plenty of celebrities who have been campaigning to get on this show for years and she doesn’t even seem to want to be here. Ezra, I am so sorry, but maybe they’ll let you choreograph one of the pro numbers?

Me being petty:

SOMEONE CHECK ON SCHEANA (Vanderpump Rules fans will understand 😂)

[whatever-color-of-the-rainbow]

chess headcanons?? i love hearing your headcanons

First of all, thank you!! Second of all, I love Chess so much and I’m very glad that she’s who you asked me to do next

Two of her favorite movies are Beauty and the Beast and Frozen (not sure where the BATB one came from, but the Frozen one is because Celeste Rose played Anna recently)

Pheobe Bridgers girlie through and through

They had a crush on Cairo for like two seconds at the beginning of their junior year. This ended pretty quickly because she didn’t like the way Cai treated a lot of the other teammates, especially Kate. (Did I only come up with this headcanon so I could participate in Chai Day? Yes I did.)

Kate braided Chess’s hair for the sleepover.

She and Mattie would have been SUCH good friends.

Kate’s older sisters loved her.

She stopped actively posting on social media after her leg injury, and deleted most of her social media apps altogether after the Farrah incident. They were never super active on social media anyway, so they don’t exactly miss it.

They kept Instagram though, because they had a private spam account (called @/call.me.chess_17) that no one outside of their personal life knew about.

Despite the name, homegirl has no idea how to play chess. They also refuse to learn because it’s really funny.

As sweet as she is, she’s also super competitive. This surprises people…until they remember that she was almost an Olympian, of course she’s competitive.

She puts up a sweet and patient front with members of the team that she doesn’t like. But when it’s just her and Kate, she can rant the biggest rants about them. Kate lives for this side of her.

Straight B student

They have a tendency to push themself too hard, especially when they were recovering from the knee injury. That’s part of why she became so reliant on the painkillers.

This isn’t really a headcanon, but I’ve been saying this nonstop for almost two years now so I may as well include it here: Humpty Dumpty by AJR and crying by myself by yannick-robin mirko the most Chess-coded songs I’ve ever heard.

She’s not a fan of physical touch…except when it’s Kate. Then she loves it.

Her full name is Francesca. She hates it. Hence the Instagram username from earlier.

Her favorite gymnastics event is beam, and her least favorite is vault.

They’ve always been a little self-conscious about how others perceive them, and getting famous from almost going to the Olympics did not help.

She has three nicknames from Kate: Checkers (obviously), Checks (short for Checkers), and Cheese (from accidentally typing out “Chees” instead of “Chess” while texting one too many times).

People told her that she handled the whole not-going-to-the-Olympics thing really well. Little did they know, she was actually having a super rough time with it, but refused to show it because she didn’t want to be viewed as “broken”. In secret, she would spend the rest of her life wondering what could have been.

She and Eva would have been the most iconic duo ever.

They used to like going for a run every Sunday afternoon while listening to music (once again, usually Pheobe Bridgers). Obviously that got taken away with the leg injury.

Simone Biles was her first celebrity crush.

[twistsandtwizzles]

I Watched So You Don't Have To: Stars on Mars

You may have seen that Adam Rippon is one of the cast members on the new FOX reality show, Stars on Mars. I knew this information but had no plans to watch this show, until this week when I needed to turn something on tv that would take up 5% of my brain power or less. And this fit the brief exactly.

In case you are also mildly interested in what this weird show is about and what Adam is doing on it, but don't want to let it take up even 3% of your brain power, don't worry, I am here for you! Read on for a recap of Stars on Mars: Episode 1.

We open on William Shatner very dramatically telling us that twelve celebrities are going to participate in an “experiment” to find out if they can “survive life on Mars” (aka a month somewhere in Australia). The winner will earn the title of Brightest Star in the Galaxy and this made me laugh out loud because that’s it? They don’t even get any money? Just a title that is also found on a fourth grade science fair participation trophy?

Anyway, Shatner - who has very clearly not gone to Australia and is recording this somewhere in his house - tells us that this simulation will be 24 days long, and will show us which celebrities are the strongest, the brightest, the bravest, and who can handle the stress when the food runs out. We’re treated to a compilation of clips during this portion, then Shatner says, “This is: Starsssssss on Marssssssss” and the way I typed this quote does not do it justice.

We’re now introduced to the astronauts as they trudge across the surface of “Mars” into the “Hab” where they will be living. The first astronaut is Christopher Mintz-Plasse, aka McLovin’ from Superbad, and we cut to a talking head where Christopher says he’s been called McLovin for 16 years and is kind of tired of it; unfortunately for him it is what I will call him for the entirety of this recap.

We get a tour of the hab, which basically looks like every space movie you’ve ever seen, and we are introduced to the lady-voiced-AI thing that is going to be the main communication tool/voice-over element on this show. McLovin marvels that “a lot of money went into this” which, I’m not sure I agree, but okay.

Next in the hab: Ronda Rousey, “Champion Fighter” followed closely by Tom Schwartz from Vanderpump Rules who the VO tells us is “currently known for Scandavol.” Full disclosure that I have only ever seen five minutes of VPR so this man is a complete stranger to me - but I do live in the culture enough to know that his name is “Schwartz” and not “Tom.” Schwartz explains his show to McLovin, boiling it down to “people work in a bar and have sex with each other.” McLovin says, “Well, we’re not doing that here. I don’t think.”

Next up: Tallulah Willis, “Daughter of Bruce and Demi” and Adam Rippon, “Olympic Figure Skater” and the entire reason I’m even watching this show. Then Porsha Williams Guobadia, “Real Housewife” and another complete stranger to me (look, how can I find time for Bravo reality shows when I have to watch old figure skating programs on YouTube?); Tinashe, “R&B Recording Artist” who I know mostly as a regular Who? Weekly subject; Ariel Winter, “Award-Winning Actor from Modern Family” (she was the middle child); Marshawn Lynch & Richard Sherman, “Teammates and NFL Legends” who are introduced as a unit but it is unclear if they are playing as a team or not; and Lance Armstrong, “Cyclist” and look, I am not happy about his presence either.

Lance is greeted warmly by everyone in the room and Ariel gives a talking head geeking out about how Lance is a real astronaut. She makes the mistake of mentioning this to Porsha who does not appear to correct her. Unknown if Porsha was just trying not to embarrass Ariel, or if she has no idea who Lance Armstrong is either and thinks he could plausibly be an astronaut.

Shatner sends a message to the celebs explaining that every 48 hours a celebrity who is not “mission critical” will be “extracted” (he then helpfully clarifies that this just means “sent home”). He also explains that the “Base Commander” is the most powerful role in the hab as the commander is basically in charge of everything, and the commanders will be re-appointed every two days.

The celebs are instructed to select a Base Commander and we get our very first Adam Rippon Talking Head! Adam explains that everyone is figuring each other out and that no one wanted to be the first base commander. We cut to the celebs desperately pointing at each other and trying to peer pressure others into the role. Then they are informed that the Base Commander gets their own room, and Roger nominates Marshawn, who was worried about fitting into his bunk earlier. Marshawn accepts.

The first mission for the astronaut celebrities: to rescue their 12th crewmember who is trapped in a pod on the surface. Marshawn sends Lance and Ronda out for the rescue while the rest of the crew watches their progress via monitor. Adam excitedly says of the outdoor footage, “Oh my god, it looks like Mars,” and again, I’m not sure I agree, but I’m happy that he’s happy.

To no one’s surprise the rescue mission is successful and completely lacking in any kind of drama. Natasha Leggero, “Comedian,” is the final celebrity to join the hab.

Marshawn is instructed to divide the daily task list. He sends Porsha and Tallulah to sort the foods and rations (Lady Hab Voice pops up to note that there will be no resupply of the rations during their stay and I'm sure this will be a major issue later in the series).

After a few shots of people doing their assigned tasks we cut to Adam, finally, since he is the only part of the show I care about. He and Ariel are dusting “the patches” which are basically Mars-themed Scout badges. Adam Talking Heads that he assumes the patches are probably something they will earn on missions throughout the show. It is unclear if the show thinks this is some sort of amazingly smart deduction on Adam’s part or if it, like me, assumes that Adam has watched a reality competition show at least once in his life and simply took the very tiny step needed to reach this conclusion.

Adam tells Ariel that he actually loves cleaning and organizing, and she excitedly says she does too. Adam asks, with true joy in his eyes, if she likes folding things. She says laundry is her favorite. I do not understand these people.

We cut between some other small talk and talking heads. Marshawn and Lance argue about who is more of an athlete, and how Marshawn did not throw Lance’s doping in his face during this conversation I will truly never know.

Adam has clearly been tasked by production to explain the basics of this game in his talking heads, because he again tells us that they are “trying to figure each other out and learning to work together” since “that will be important the longer they stay in the game.”

A bunch of snippets of general “get to know you” convos: the group chats about how famous Tallulah’s parents are; Porsha and Natasha chat about their kids; Lance and Marshawn and Ronda chat about sports again; Lance feels weird about sharing a bathroom; Ariel admits to Porsha and Tinashe that she has confused Lance with Neil Armstrong. Then everyone goes to bed. Natasha says, “Goodnight honey,” to Adam and it makes sense those two would be fast friends.

An alarm goes off in the middle of the night and Shatner appears to tell them that “Martian Dust” is headed their way and has already knocked their comms satellite over. They need to go repair it, and if they do it they will earn a patch. Everyone seems totally wowed by this patch information so maybe we were supposed to think that Adam was a genius earlier.

Tallulah is chosen to be a mission specialist and is staying behind with Marshawn while everyone heads to the surface. “Let’s save this satellite!” Adam says. He looks great in this space suit.

Adam’s talking head is back with more general reality show basics, namely that even though they are stressed about this mission they have to focus and do a good job, because ultimately “the name of the game is that someone has to go home.”

The celebs walk out into a windstorm and Tallulah and Marshawn direct the crew in repairing the satellite. Adam says that “this is not what (he) signed up for” but Adam, I’m pretty sure it is. 

Once again this mission is successful and not all that dramatic, even as all the celebs tell us how stressed they all are and how hard this was. (Assembling an Ikea dresser looks far more difficult than this satellite repair job.) Natasha does say at one point that she was trying to stay out of the way in the “loser area” along with McLovin and Adam. 

McLovin says he thinks they all would have died if it was really Mars, and I suppose this statement is technically true but also it’s kind of like when I cut through an empty parking lot after my driver’s test and the examiner said, “if there were cars here you’d be running them over right now.” I would not have done that if there were cars there?? And these people would not be asked to repair a satellite on actual Mars. Anyway.

Marshawn and Tallulah are told to identify the three astronauts least critical to mission success. This is revealed by Marshawn calling the “Mission Critical” celebrities one-by-one back into the hab and handing them - hold onto your hats because none of us saw this prize coming - a patch.

The three least mission critical celebrities: Adam, McLovin, and Schwartz. McLovin says, “aw man, the three fragile white boys!” as they give each other a group hug. They are then each asked to explain to the Mission Critical celebs why they should stick around. 

McLovin says he didn’t participate in the mission because he was removing himself from the situation since there were too many people trying to do the job.

Adam says he’s mission critical because he’s one of the hottest people there and “I think that’s important for any kind of challenge that we do. I’m just being honest.” This earns a big laugh and applause from the already-safe crew, and someone says, “He’s right!” LOL.

Schwartz reminds them all that he was the one that actually made a major repair on the satellite and the group immediately says, “oh yeah” and lets him into the hab. He gives Adam a big hug and assures him, “You are very hot.”

So that leaves Adam and McLovin as our bottom two. The group decides that Adam is more mission critical than McLovin, which means our favorite Olympic-figure-skater-turned-astronaut gets let back into the hab, and that I have to watch this show for another week.

McLovin wanders to the extraction point and gives an exit interview from the suddenly calm Mars surface without his space helmet on, and it’s hilarious how soon after elimination the faux-Mars premise is dropped.

Tune in next week (or don’t) for some arguing and more “space” adventures that appear to include a fire in the hab and something to do with a bunch of water on the Mars surface that I have many questions about! The previews indicate that Adam will eventually get a headset to lead a mission at some point, so we'll how that goes. See you next time.