#i also missed day 12
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#um EXCUSE ME#how dare people be so mean to him#look how sweet he looks i cannot#and how dare he not think he's handsome#i also missed day 12#oops#anyway#never saw photo on left :')#michael jackson#day 13#idol challenge
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Pac: Oh, Nenê... How cute... 🥺💕
After dying to an atomic creeper in a cave and stressing over potentially losing all his items, Pac returns home to set his spawn and receives a sweet surprise:
His cat falls asleep on top of him and purrs when he goes to bed :')
#QSMP#Pactw#Pac#March 28 2024#I had the exact same reaction as Pac my heart frickin melted THIS IS SO CUTE.... AND THE PURRING.... MY HEART#I desperately wish Pac got to hang out with Madagio (in his cat-form)#because cats clearly adore Pac just as much as he loves them#Maybe in an alternate universe Madagio spent a day with Pac#And in that time he learned why Fit came to care for this man so much#I don't need more WIPs on my plate but I am Pondering the idea#If the cat-hybrid Cellbit thing was canon I could crack a joke about the ''cats clearly adore Pac just as much as he loves them'' thing#but alas#For real though lock Madagio in a room with Pac for 12 hours and he'll leave being grudgingly charmed by him#aghhhh#Anyways this is so cute#but also really sad#because how many times do you think Pac's been in his room depressed over his missing son / friends / roommate#only to have his cats burrow under his arm and nudge their way onto his lap?#Don't get me started I'm feeling Emotional about cubito Pac lately
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this blog is 11 years old now 🎉
I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual
#loz#wind waker#legend of zelda#toon link#aryll#I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this#and then my brother dragged me outside ☠ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe#arylls like big brother use a damn fork#<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018#also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak#r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery#and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus#i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk#im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again#he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient#im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i#thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me#i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better#why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6#i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE
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First (real) date 🤗
based on this text post
#finished my like 563498543th rewatch a couple days ago i miss them so much. just 12 days till lvlup#i miss stolitz tails#i miss them a lot#im simultaneously so ready for full moon but also not at all#also shoutout to everyone whos been waiting since OCTOBER for a new episode ive only been waiting like 2 months and i already feel insane#nillyart#nillyfanart#stolitz#stolas x blitz#stolas#stolas goetia#blitzø#helluva boss#hellaverse
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🕸
#i call this one “it’s in my nature to blast every single thing i enjoy with the goth ray”#plus i just like victorian style portraits#ok i know this kind of sucks ass but i was too excited and rushed through#i have been getting back into twenty one pilots as is a regularly repeating occurrence in my life ever since the fifth grade#i just experienced my first show in the pit back in august and i am serious when i say#a day has not gone by since in which i don’t think about it#their shows are genuinely life changing ESPECIALLY if you have been a huge fan ever since you were 12#it fulfilled dreams i had given up hope on ever coming true (forever thankful to my best friend for getting tickets ily)#Anyway#also i gave josh a bit of eyeshadow and eyeliner i jusr miss the spooky jim eyeshadow#tyler joseph#josh dun#twenty one pilots#twenty one pilots fanart#clique art
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i am a chronic "i need to watch that"-er, and i'm very lucky but also cursed to be surounded by excellent friends always recommending me excellent things. and i finally want to get off my keyster and actually WATCH them, but i have so many different serieseseseses i'm in the middle of that it's really hard to commit to one. so i made a watchlist of every series i'm either watching, beginning to watch, or wanting to watch. and then i decided to do the same with movies. and books i'm reading/want to read. and decided i should keep track of my art ideas and projects too. and this is great because with the shows especially, i've made a system where i watch one (or more if i have the time) episode of a show a day, and then make my way down and alternate between shows every day. and so far this has been working out great for me. but standing back and looking at my list is just making me say Oh, god. if you're wondering what's Eliza watching/reading/needing to work on, i have excellent news for you:
i'd also like to add that this is all on top of a continuation of last year's resolution in which i have thousands of golden age cartoons listed in a google doc, i roll a random number generator, and let it dictate the GAC i watch for the day. i am drowning
#my Letterboxd is @ducktracy if anyone wants to follow along i don't rate or review everything i watch but i've gotten better#about it in the past year#today was a Princess Tutu day and omg it's so cute#i also used to be an avid SU fan when it was new and kept up with the first 2 seasons or so--i want to go back and watch through it all to#give closure to 12 year old me. crazy it's been 12 years. and plus it'll be fun to watch it in an environment that is not 2016 tumblr SU#discourse. my parents got me The Shining and Carrie for xmas and i've really been enjoying The Shining i gotta add that to my movie list...#also Three Cabs is Three Caballeros. A LOT OF THESE ARE REWATCHES but revisiting for clarity like Ojamajo Doremi for example which ive#probably seen in full 4 times. i've been rewatching Klaus and im excited to rewatch The Nutty Professor and The Odd Couple#very excited to revisit EEnE with the cartooning appreciation i have now..#anyway. there's a lot#AND THERES STILL STUFF MISSING I HAVE TO ADD COW AND CHICKEN AGHHH
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[just after having helped River make a getaway from a heist of an astatine lace shawl — the rarest substance in the universe — without her even needing to ask beyond a simple “hello sweetie” scrawl in the sky] [Eleventh Doctor] “I can see its worth — but Alice is right! What’s so special about a lace shawl?” [River] “Ah, well, lace, you see, is the traditional gift for a thirteenth wedding anniversary…” [Eleventh Doctor] “Wedding anniversary? Whose wedding anniversary?” [River] “Spoilers…!” *winks* [Thirteenth Doctor, reminiscing] “I love River.”
HAPPY THIRTEENTH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO THE DOCTOR AND RIVER SONG!
Sources: Diary of River Song: The Furies, Diary of River Song: The Lady in the Lake, The Day of the Moon, Doctor Who Magazine Special Edition #33, The Wedding of River Song, The Big Bang, The Angels Take Manhattan, The Many Lives of Doctor Who: Without a Paddle, The Time of the Doctor, Forest of the Dead, Let's Kill Hitler, Diary of River Song: The Wife of River Song, Eleventh Doctor Year Two: Physician Heal Thyself, A Good Man Goes to War, Eleventh Doctor Chronicles: Broken Hearts, The Husbands of River Song, Doctor Who Confidential: When Time Froze
#river song#eleventh doctor#twelfth doctor#tenth doctor#thirteenth doctor#yowzah#edits by seaweed#words by seaweed#I know there's not a lot of 12 and 10 and 13 rep but oh well theres not as much source material. I got like a quote from them each#regular reminder that psychopath has no clinical meaning and is more of a reclaimed slur than a descriptive term etc#reclaimed language#ableist language#this is about them being messy (positive) together. ALSO river was promised Stevie Wonder for her 13th anniversary <3#I HAVE ZERO SOURCES FROM BOOKS WHAT im sure there are some perfect quotes from novels & short stories but well#I got episodes and audios and comics and magazines#did I miss posting a thing for 'fourteen years since fish custard' day a few weeks back? yes. yes I did.#am I trying to make up for it by celebrating a day that references a very specific comic that less people likely heard of? yes. yes i am.#maybe shoulda posted this at midnight last night. April 22 is almost over in the UK I think#okay I gotta go to work now! ima watch Wedding of River Song tonight
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some of yall werent around for the garwin era and it shows
#/lh!!! but like. i miss those days.#we were garlosing. we were garvaring.#where is yale ivy league chang vacker when you need her...#garwin summer.. 2nd place in the bkc last year. and some of yall think he didnt deserve to get to round 3? for shame#also fr if some rando 12 year old suddenly appeared and succeeded in my lifelong dream w/o trying#id want to bully her too.#kotlc
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revisiting this site every now and then to reminisce in how much it shaped me as a person and defined me as a literal child
#cuz i was looking thru old youtube playlists right#and i found this one video edited by wooly abt the time spicy went crazy over a kuroo x joe crackskip (hilarious btw)#(also i cant find spicy did they deactivate forever help)#but like something about the interactions. and seeing myself during that time. just hit really really really hard.#like that was a little girl. she was 12 or 13 or whatever and the people on this site were her entire world#and she'd wake up every morning and check her dashboard and send asks and break the post limit and that was like#a significant part of my childhood. and then one day i just stopped logging on.#and i never even realized it but i talked to some of these ppl for the last time and didnt even realize that that was the last time#the people who i swore id meet in person one day. i knew everything about them and they knew everything about me#and now theyre just memories. and i refuse to call that era of my life cringe because i wouldnt have had it any other way#sorry im really senti. i need to find people again i miss them#and now we've all grown in different ways. yk the meeting people twice thing? yeah.#when u all met me i was second yr middle school and now im second year high school#theres so much i had on this site. some days i want it back
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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Having to micromanage your entire physical battery day in and day out is so exhausting, especially when your ability fluctuates without rhyme or reason with every single day. I'm starting to have to reframe how I view and tackle my task lists because otherwise the grief and frustration becomes so much that I get nothing done. I'd love to complete the entire list today, but I'm gonna have to limit myself to ticking off two tasks just so I don't burn myself out to the point of being unable to do anything later...
#and even then thats no guarantee since i could feel super sick later without warning#OR maybe i feel superdupergood and can do them all no problem and THEN some#but then i also have to prepare for being bedridden after if i dont keep track of how much energy i burn#the event horizon of which ALSO changes daily lmfao#meanwhile people assume youre lucky or even privileged for this#as if being homebound for your safetys sake and spending most of the time being unable to really do anything#is anything worth envying. people assume youre resting when frankly youre just keeping your face above the water#i dont have a choice either. i gave up all my dreams and ambitions just for the sake of trying to survive for once#i WANT to have a life i WANT to have the power to be independent and not be at the mercy of others until the day i die#god sorry URGH its so hard to not feel sad and hopeless and almost bitter about this sometimes#its so hard not to feel alienated and embarrassed by the fact that you practically live in a different reality to people#people whose lives revolve around careers and working to the point where they cant comprehend you as a disabled individual#and what that means beyond the assumption that being chronically ill and overall impaired is a choice and moral failire#whether or not people are aware of that baseline assumption concretely#and i feel stupid and annoying for whining about this when i have so much to be grateful for#just. guhhhhhhhhh idfk. i SHOULD get started here but i can barely move out of bed#exhaustion is killing me i miss going on daily walks my house feels like a prison#i need to stop moping im already spiralling lmfao#trying not to close my eyes lest i pass out yet again despite having gotten more than 12 hours of sleep#cause apparently to my stupid body thats not enough to even stand up#silvi talks
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YAYYYY oc posting :) anyone remember old fnaf fandom days? handing you heavily revamped and redesigned ocs of Vincent and who TECHNICALLY counts as Henry before Henry was even revealed??? >_<
ik the pride flags are a little "modern" for 1998 but idgaf this is for fun and sillies. yapfest in tags my bad
#carn1eposting#art#fnaf art#fnaf ocs#fnaf oc#fnaf vincent#it feels criminal to tag that oml#i wasnt really on tumblr during og fnaf fandom days i was on dA instead. i miss you old dA. i miss you FuzzFoxy rp chatroom#this also counts as an au sort of? vincent is william's nephew in this au and also has a younger brother around michael's age (10-12 diff)#i had originally split vincent and xander (the brother) into like#so xander is kinda more the flirty sexy fanon pg and vincent's more the laid back/depressed “heh... you can't *smirk*” fanon pg#so ig i should add these tags#fnaf au#fnaf fanart#fnaf#fnaf redesign#other oc is almost fully original and doesn't TECHNICALLY belong to me. im more like his foster parent HAHA#his name is gary my bestie at the time (we're still close :3c) made him just bc we wanted to be silly and also we were in like 5th grade#his name is funny. bc i remember it was originally just “Gary Guy”. which was supposed to be a joke calling him “Gay Guy”. he's gay. idk#he was created before the name william was revealed and before henry emily was sort of a existing character in people's minds at the time#we had a separate oc for “phone guy” and it wasn't gary#whoahhhh lore i love lore i used to think about these guys all the time oml LOL#if i hear shit about gary being gay and vincent being a she/they nby and blah blah IDC suck my peanits it literally doesnt matter blow up
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It’s actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things “marketable” and it’s making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello
#I need to write a proper Spectra&Gus meta bc it’s been cooking me how people don’t Want to see the insanity in them#argh#d0 stuff#negative#d0 smashes the keyboard#like yes#Gus’s devotion and loyalty are extreme and these feelings make him do stupid things that he is absolutely aware of being stupid#but let’s not pretend that these feelings go both ways in their relationship#Spectra (for like. the majority of the New Vestroia except the maybe last 12 eps?) sees Gus as a convenient tool#like Yeah he is like. a person and all that but Spectra doesn’t Interact with him when it doesn’t concern his business so#and also yes. he gives Gus a level of autonomy that one might not exactly expect from how usually these relationships go but#one Has to question if it’s bc of his goodwill or bc he is safe in his knowledge that Gus would never leave him#which. fun and sick and makes them sooo compelling#I would also argue that Spectra/Keith don’t even miss Gus when he ‘died’ as a person at first#but as the second pair of hands for work#like it was quite funny to see Spectra give instructions to air only to be reminded that his minion died#but it does rise the question of why hasn’t it happened before or in any other situation#(which I must say I really dig because yes. Spectra has always been centred around his ambitions so ofc this is where it would hurt first)#but yeah. sth sth Spectra only starts his journey of Actually giving a shit about Gus and acknowledging his importance to him as a person#by the end of nv#you could still argue it was partially (or maybe wholly) motivated by convenience that Gus presents but#it really was the first time Spectra has personally expressed his tie to Gus gah#all of this to say#they are sickos; each in their own way; and I think we can really make this more sinister and insane than we’ve allowed ourselves#throughout the years so far#like yeah. can I see them as a happy couple? sure! but also can I see this as a very codependent (more so from Gus’s angle) relationship#that’s being sprinkled with Tons of manipulation from Spectra? also yes#actually sorry for this wall of tags idk what got me thinking about them again#but it’s so so biting the bars day bc these guys are so fun!! we just have to let them be and maybe read canon through less good intentions#ok uhhh
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Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.
#honestly? honestly?#last week i told the two (2) godawful egomaniac lab head Man In Academia bosses i quit and that we need to formalise it asap and i just#felt like a little feather about to float away on a breeze#maybe now i can do normal people things like eat and sleep and have a routine of some sort idk#i have been slowly losing it for at least 3-4 years now#i took a screenshot and last year i had no fewer than 14 fucking travel orders fulfilled#most of which consisted of like 12+ hour days on ships and docks#i'm just so tired man#not for reblogging obviously#i don't really wanna vent anymore or ponder them and the entire godforsaken institution but like#good riddance tbh#which is really really sad when you think about it! but here we are#it was just... no trace of future anywhere to be seen! entirely a Void!!#gonna post a beefy lesbian paladin real quick to push this post down lmao#but i felt like sharing because i know there's good and concerned people who follow me here and i both appreciate and miss you all#and lord knows some of you have been listening to me vent and whine for ages#am i going to miss some great people and the research community of my field? of course but also it was all just completely unsustainable
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My top songs (of the first half) of 2023 ✦ Boys Planet edition ✦
tagged by @lunetual @jikyu @leewonseo @lee-minhoe ty 💕
I've listened to over 300 new releases from over 100 different kpop artists this year so picking my top songs felt like an mnet-level survival show 😭 the irony that i never watched Boys Planet AND one of the songs is literally a Peak Time song is not lost on me ! 🙃 but i wanted to pick a trendy format so here we are 😈 anyways i included albums instead of songs that didn't make the cut since there's too many honorable mention songs that i have had on repeat this year 😭 but most of them are in these 22 albums (oo-li is on here twice and istj isn't out yet !)
if u like my gif template, here's the link ! pls credit me ty <3
tagging (no obligation ofc and if you've already posted will u tag/send me so i can see 🥺): @bahngentertainment @chrisbangs @coupsnim @dakbees @dive-in-the-blue @hannahbahng @hyunfelix @ingblr-s @jinniebit @kyubins @losergirlz @quokki @shorelinnes @starcatching @userjiung @userwoodz @wabisaba @woodziecup @yohanblr + anyone else who wants to share just say that i tagged u <3
#tag game#song recs#flashing tw#*ambiv.gif#ok i didnt have to go so hard but it's the holidays so i had a free day hehe#im actually very proud of my coloring for some of these gifs especially the BSS one .. had to borrow some mvs for the b-sides without vids#anyways yall shouldve seen the spreadsheet i had to use to get to 12.... also the biggest tragedy was number 13 was skz topline :((((((#one thing about me is that even tho i love my noise music i also LOVE my ballads :') and clearly i love my boy groups 👹#i tried to limit to 1 per album & artist except i can't do that to woodz so he got an exception asdfsdfjj OO-LI IS TOO GOOD IT'S UNMATCHED#i have so many other faves..... nct dream best friend .. nine (onlyoneof) beyOnd .. kep1er lvly .. holland number boy .. newjeans omg ..#epex sunshower .. enhypen bills .. dkb more than 100 reasons .. cravity groovy .. boynextdoor one and only .. blitzers macarena ..#billlie eunoia .. bae173 gt .. atbo next to me .. agust d haegeum .. (g)i-dle queencard .. cupid fifty fifty .. golden child weekends ..#ive kitsch .. jinyoung cotton candy .. kim jaehwan lucky! .. lee chaeyeon knock .. mark golden hour .. lun8 wild heart .. nct djj perfume .#sf9 puzzle .. stayc teddy bear .. purple kiss sweet juice .. &team firework .. tripleS rising .. viviz pull up .. xg left & right ..#.......just to name a few slkjdflajfdjlf DO U SEE HOW HARD THIS WAS :'( i DIED !!!#OK BUT IF I DID MISS UR FAVE PLS SEND ME IT I WILL LISTEN
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