#i also love that patrick sticks up for her when it gets to the like FIFTH time they bring it up hahahah

[fansonfansonfansonfans]

Angela Giarratana Ashley Geronto being bullied in AOAOAOA Ep 71

[ghostfacesvalentine]

Princess treatment only - MultiMuse x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Multimuse x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Not many, some mentions of killing, but nothing graphic. Kind of fluffy

Type: HC’s

Request: N/A

Word Count: N/A

Prompt: Some HC’s as to how the muses would give the reader the princess treatment.

Notes: I don’t know where I was going with this, but this is mainly fluff, maybe sometime I’ll spice it up. I just had to get my writing juice brewing. Not proofread at all just go.

Jason Voorhees: Honestly, would treat you like a princess regardless. Will pick flowers for you when he’s outside. Always lets you borrow his flannels. Always walks in front of you to make sure there’s no danger, but looks back constantly to make sure there’s no danger behind you?? lmao. You won’t ever have to lift a finger when you’re with him. Literally at your beck and call. Will try his best not to kill in front of you, but sometimes it just ?? happens lol. Tries to be soft when touching you because you’re literally the most perfect thing that has ever crossed his path.

Michael Myers: Is your literal bodyguard. Will follow you anywhere and everywhere, you might as well call him your shadow. Lets you hug him and climb onto his lap whenever. Won’t hug you back yet, working on it. Nobody comes near you, no exceptions. Sorry. Stares at you most of the time. Can’t say it, but you’re literally flawless to him. Will use his body as a shield for you. Would kill anything for you. Eventually learns to put his palm against your cheek and that’s his second greatest accomplishment, the first being bagging you, literally and figuratively.

Tiffany Valentine: You won’t ever have to worry about a thing when you’re with her. Always gets her hands dirty for you. Lots of cheek and neck kisses. Praises your looks all the time. She will always brag about you whether it’s what you do, how you look, anything and everything. She would always make sure you have the latest clothes. She’d make sure you always had your staple make up pieces available. When it comes to killing, she’d get creative, that way you guys will never have literal blood on your hands, especially you, never you.

Billy Loomis: Lots of nicknames. Kinda only has a soft spot for you. Can never ever tell you no and stick to it. Won’t hesitate to kill anyone who makes fun of him for this. Drives you everywhere. Ties your shoes. Always makes time for you. Will help you pick out your outfits and tell you which one he likes and which one he doesn’t. Will wear the bracelets you make him. Anything in his closet is yours, help yourself. Always touching you, holding your hand, holding your waist, you’ve infatuated him enough to have him carelessly cover you in soft kisses, laying his head on your shoulder. Kinda creative with dates tbh.

Stu Macher: You will forever be his princess. Will carry you across puddles. Lots of cheek and forehead kisses. Would learn how to paint your nails for you during class. Always makes sure you have a good grade on your exam, whether he has to swap out the papers after class or make sure you get the right answers, you can absolutely count on him. You don’t have to use your brain around him, no worries. Thinks you look adorable in his sweaters, especially oversized. Loves when you sit on his lap. Prioritizes you over anything and everything. Even if you don’t like horror movies, Stu would absolutely find something else for you to watch.

Patrick Bateman: Honestly, when he falls in love with you, it’s princess treatment only. Will give you a skin care routine and help you follow through with it. Kind of makes you feel dumb, but not like a stupid dumb, more like a ‘oh dear sweet baby you are a little dumb but pretty, but dumb, let me help you’ Same thing if you fall asleep with your makeup on, Patricks on the way with the micellar makeup remover. Will speak up for you if you don’t like a service, he won’t be mean about it unless he has to. Always makes sure you’re hydrated (also part of your skin care routine). You will be a housewife/girlfriend. Feel free to splurge, you are his trophy princess after all. Will take you anywhere you want. Will make things up for you if he has to be at work late.

Leatherface: I don’t ever see a scenario where Bubba does not treat his s/o like a princess. It’s like part of the deal. Either way, expect wild flowers all the time. It’s his favorite thing to do for you. He even makes you a vase and makes sure your flowers are always fresh. Will literally die and kill for you without any hesitation. At his knees for you. Bubba will crawl to you across pins and needles if you asked him to. He’s always making sure you’re comfortable and safe, never hungry or in your mind for too long. Melts at your touch. Would learn how to dance just to dance to your favorite songs. Always gets awestruck with you.

Harley Quinn: Will absolutely take you anywhere you want, no matter how random it is. Always dazed when looking at you. Keeps pictures of you all dressed up in her bag or car or wherever she goes. Selina gave her a heart shaped locket once and yeah, you guessed it, the cutest picture of you is in there. Doesn’t hesitate to shoot any man for you. Leaves your face covered in red kisses. She would do anything to make you laugh. Anything you want, it’s yours! Just point at it.

Poison Ivy: Pamela will always spoil you, regardless of how you act. You’ve heard of people growing gardens for their s/o, she would grow forests for you. She’s the most gentle with you, gentle caresses and soft kisses. Paints your nails, brushes your hair while adding flowers into the locks. Always admires dressing you up and putting make up on you. Almost never wants you to leave. Slow dances with you. She’d do anything to keep you out of danger. You think Michael is a good bodyguard? Pamela is the bodyguard.

Bruce Wayne: hhnnnngh. Ok. No but you are the Princess Wayne. Spoiling you rotten goes without saying. Anything your little heart desires is yours. Helps you get dressed. His favorite is helping you with your stockings. Gentle kisses everywhere. Brushes your hair. Lifting you up constantly when there’s a crack in the pavement. Always the driver. Your safety is always first, always. No because whatever you want means whatever you want, which is why there are hello kitty plushies scattered across the Wayne manor. You’ve somehow managed to get your own cozy theater in there too. Princess treatment also means Bruce having to lay back just a teeny bit on Batman just to guard you too while you sleep.

Jason Todd: nmmnnmf YES. I don’t see him treating his s/o any other way. Lots of pet names. Loooves to help you get dressed. Sits you on the counter as he cooks. Never lets you out of his sight. Anything you want it’s yours. Always buying you cute socks and letting you wear his clothes. Forehead kisses. Oh man it’s so disgusting how much Jason loves his princess. Always taking pictures of you, no matter the angle. Would 1000000% tie bows into your hair if you asked.

Billy Hargrove: Honestly if he’s in love with you, princess treatment is granted. Always giving you his jackets, especially when you wear skirts or dresses out. Lifting you over mud and puddles. Subtle kisses on the head while you’re out. Body guard mode activated. He kinda becomes your shadow, appearing out of nowhere and greeting you with a kiss on the forehead. Ties your shoes without asking. Wiping any tears or smeared makeup off your face. Winks at you all the timeee.

Steve Harrington: Kind of similar to Stu, he always makes sure you pass your class. Poor princess doesn’t use her brain in school, too busy trying to stay awake. Always gives you his jacket, even if you don’t want to wear it, he’ll wrap it around you. Finds any excuse to carry you or pick you up. So affectionate. Kisses on the cheek, lips, forehead. Sometimes he will miss and kiss your eye but ugh it’s so fucking cute. Only has eyes for you. Tying your shoes, putting your socks on, literally just dressing you in general is a must. Literally will take you wherever you want, whenever. Drops everything when you call. Such a sucker with the nicknames for you.

Steve Rogers: Ugh another one. Think of him as a body guard who you get to kiss and sit on his lap. Always drops everything to make sure you’re okay. Cannot take his eyes off of you. So smooth with the reassurance. Kisses on the forehead constantly. Always tucks you in. Would help you bathe if you asked. Pulls you onto his lap every time you both sit down. Whatever you want, you’ll get. If he can’t do it, he’ll find a way. Cups your face in his hands when you cry, kisses your tears away. Ugh he’s your literal teddy bear, if you don’t like to be smothered? Pick another muse.

Bucky Barnes: Similar to Steve, he’s your shadow, but he’s a little more … upfront with it. He’s constantly wrapping an arm around you, eyeing anyone who’s eyeing you. He’s so gentle if you’re sensitive. Kissing your cheek is his favorite. Always lingering his fingertips around your crevices. Makes sure you’re never hungry. Always up before you are. Lets you sleep in. If you fight, he will never raise his voice at you. Ready to carry you if you’re too tired to keep walking around. Slow dances with you just because. He’s always worried for you, making sure you’re okay, you’re not sick or hungry. Pet names with him are a must.

Loki Laufeyson: Okkkk and in what situation did you ever think loki was not going to give you the princess treatment??? You are literal Princess Laufeyson. Though he, and Sebastian maybe, are the only ones who can probably, maybe, say no to you, if you pout enough maybe he’ll come to a compromise with you. He never wants to upset you though. Would literally wipe out a small world for you. Or a few. Ok even betray anyone for you. Always cleaning your smeared makeup, fixing your hair, wiping you because you spilled your drink. He’s so devoted to you, im going to throw up. He devours you with his eyes from a distance, you’re never leaving his sight.

Cloud Strife: Ugh ok. Literal bodyguard, as he’s hired to be at times. At your beck and call, though he’d never admit it. Such a sucker and can never say no to you. Though it may take time, he can start calling you ‘baby’ ‘sweet girl’ ‘love’ he’s so infatuated with you and doesn’t know how to handle it. Your safety is his priority. Always listens to you ramble on and on. Brings you flowers for no reason other than he was thinking of you. He’s such a sucker for you. Follows you everywhere.

Sebastian Michaelis: He’s probably the most tame out of everyone but that doesn’t mean he’s not a sucker. There are rules he’s willing to bend for you, literally willing to kill anyone that has the slightest interest in hurting you. Always makes sure you’re fed and if you want a sweet treat, he’s on it. Listens to you talk, even if it’s silly. Dances with you almost every night. He’s so graceful with it. Dressing you and feeding you is his favorite but he might throw in a few teases “poor sweet baby, you haven’t woken up yet to tell your left foot from your right” as you rub your eyes with the wrong shoes on. Of course he’s willing to help, even if he has the idea that you do this on purpose, he's more than happy to oblige.

Spencer Reid: Though his job wouldn’t encourage it, he still drops almost everything to answer you. Always finds a way to share time with his job and his attention to you. Reads to you all the time, whether in person or over the phone. He’s always making comparisons of you being the princess in most fictional stories that you both come across. He’s so gentle with you. Caresses your face all the time. You lay your head on his lap or sit on his lap as he reads away. Always making sure to keep up with your well-being before his own. Would 10000% pick up a habit of writing you little notes or picking flowers for you or taking Polaroids or something to remind you of your everlasting presence in his mind.

[ghostgirl-22]

i like the idea of patrick giving art hickeys. art lies to the other guys on the team, says they’re from various girls but everyone knows the truth. maybe patrick even tells them when art isn’t around

I like that idea too actually, thank you for sharing anon<33

(Whoa im not even gonna edit this…good luck everyone!)

CW: 18+ !NSFW! The S/m part of bdsm, if you squint

—-

Art bruises easily. It really shouldn’t be something that turns Patrick on…but it is. He bruises so, so easy. Every time Patrick thinks about it, his dick gets a little hard. Fingerprints on his waist, bite marks his shoulders, hickeys on his throat. He’s not sure if Art really believes him anymore when Patrick says he’s not doing it on purpose.

God.

It’s so fucked up but he barely has to do anything, barely has to bite, barely has to squeeze and little pink-purple marks bloom vividly everywhere. The bruises don’t even stick around, they’re fading almost as easy as they come. Turning pale pink as the blood beneath them disappates before they turn white and disappear. But when they’re there, when they’re fresh, it’s so fucking delicious.

Especially because Art is so goody goody, so strait laced, so careful and controlled and put together. Patrick kinda loves just unraveling him. Sex so good that it makes him forget how to behave himself. Forget they’re doing it in public, forget his grandma is down the hall, forget all decorum. Mostly he forgets to make Patrick stop sucking visible evidence that he’s not a perfect angel into his skin.

Sometimes it’s so obvious… like the other day in class when their English professor noticed “fun night last night?” And then his ex girlfriend noticed. She scrunched her nose up irritated. Patrick can’t help it, he was giddy watching Art try to hide it the rest of the day. Skin all flushed, anxious that everyone was aware of what he’s been up to.

He gets so anxious for it, tells Patrick he’ll mark him back if he doesn’t stop. Patrick promises he will. But it’s not his fault…Art is just so fragile. Especially when he’s… pressed up against the wall taking Patrick’s cock because he couldn’t wait for the bed. Or when he’s on his knees in the back of the movie theater swallowing as much as he can while Patrick’s running his popcornbutter covered fingers through golden blond curls. Patrick doesn’t even mean to mark him. Not really. He just kinda wants everyone to know that this is his.

Patrick’s favorite thing is when their teammates tease Art about it.

It’s one of the last nights of an away tournament and most of the varsity team has gathered in Everett Moore and Lindsay Jefferson's hotel room, because Lindsay happens to be number one singles player and team captain (and he also happens to come from the richest family on campus. One doesn’t necessarily have to do with the other but Patrick knows he’s technically a better player. Hell, Art might even be better but that’s neither here nor there). When they meet up, someone usually sneaks in alcohol or weed and they watch movies or play music, while shooting the shit and discussing previous and upcoming matches and opponents.

They’re all spread out across the room, on the floor, on the beds. The tv is on with the volume low, red solo cups all over the place and two bottles of rum and three two liters of Pepsi are on the dresser. Along with three nearly empty boxes of pizza and a stack of unused paper plates.

As a team they often pick on each other, it’s not just Art. But Patrick’s favorite is when the attention shifts to Art because he gets even more interesting than he already is.

“Donaldson, that one looks fresh?” It’s Scott Jefferson, Lindsay's little (by 10 months) brother, normally everyone blows him off because he’s the youngest on the team. But Lindsay is amused.

“It does look like a new one, who’s been kissing you?” He chimes in.

Art waves it off. “Uh it’s not that new… you just couldn’t see it under the um… my uniform.” He lies. Because it is new, brand, brand new. Patrick did it last night when Art crawled into his bed because the air conditioner wasn’t working and it was too hot. Then it got hotter. They had to take a cold shower after. Art was all pouty when he noticed it in the morning.

“This one is fading, time for a new one,” Alex Kim, who’s right next to Art on the floor, touches at what Patrick knows is a sensitive spot. Art squirms and shifts his shoulder up towards his ear. Alex bites down on a smile and scoots closer to him.

”I thought Shannon broke up with you,” Everett points out, from his spot next to Patrick on the bed.

“She did, I’m— I’m seeing another girl. She’s—“Art gestures vaguely. “She doesn’t go to MRTA.”

“Where does she go?” Someone else asks.

“Yeah who’s this mystery girl, she’s a bit of a freak isn’t she? Marking you up,” Patrick chimes in, grabbing another slice of pizza and then settling back on his spot on the bed.

Art glares at him and then rolls his eyes. “Piney Brook, the all girls school.” He says and he takes another drink.

“What’s her name? One of us might know her,” Alex asks. He’s trying to poke at the hickey and Art shrugs him away. Patrick knows Alex is one of a handful of their teammates who would fuck Art if he got the chance. And maybe it’s because Patrick’s jealous, maybe it’s because he’s a little possessive (he can’t stop leaving little marks all over Art after all) but he told Alex about it, Alex and his doubles partner and roommate, Corey. Corey who cant keep his big fucking mouth shut to save his life. So everyone already fucking knows. But they love to tease Art anyway. See if he’ll admit it.

“She’s- she’s new, I doubt any of you losers would know her,” Art continues to lie.

“Is she here now? Or did you cheat on her?” Callum Harrington pipes up. “Cause that definitely wasn’t there yesterday.”

“He’s a fucking cheat,” Alex teases and Corey snorts a laugh.

“I didn’t cheat,” Art’s cheeks are pinkening, god, Patrick can feel himself getting hard, he’s gonna give him another one. “What about you, Harrington? You had a big one a few weeks ago.” Art says, deflecting.

“When my girl does it, she lets me borrow her make up to hide it. But mostly it’s me sucking hickies on her neck,” Callum says.

“Please, look how pale he is, he probably gets kissed and then it’s turning red,” Everett points out.

“Or poked,” Alex teases, nudging him. Art hiccups, nudging him back playfully before he takes another drink, determinedly not looking in Patrick’s direction.

“You want another hickey, Donaldson? I could give you plenty.” The openly gay kid Jesse Newman asks.

That makes a couple of them laugh and Jesse smirks in Patrick’s direction.

“Guys, come on,” Art says, uncrossing his legs. “Can we talk about something else, I don’t want to um… she’s really private.”

“Private but she’s claimed you publicly,” Lindsay smirks.

“I just… I do bruise a lot. Wait um— you mean this right?” He touches the hickey. “I actually just slept bad that’s nothing.”

“Oh I bet you sleep bad a lot,” Jesse says.

“I do kinda,” Art says, shyly.

“Does he, Zweig?” Lindsay asks.

“Oh absolutely,” Patrick smirks and a few of the guys chuckle.

Art is clearly relieved when the topic shifts away from hickies to Jesse’s birthday party. He’s still flushed for the alcohol, drinks way too much and lets Alex massage a cramp in his calf. All while making these soft little relieved moaning sounds that no one else probably notices but are driving Patrick crazy. Sounds Alex will probably run home and masturbate to. And he wonders why Patrick needs to mark him. He probably thinks Patrick’s not paying attention because he’s talking a lot but he’s always paying attention to Art.

It’s when someone inevitably rents a porno off HBO and Lindsay and Everett get pissed because they’ll likely be in trouble with the coaches, is when the party ends. And Patrick’s guiding Art back to their room, Art is silly drunk and horny. Doesn’t even pretend to get in his own bed. Just climbs in with Patrick. And he sighs contentedly, his body all sticky wet with lube and come as Patrick licks and nibbles at his throat, a new one already blooming.

[amymbona]

I need to be Tashi's long forgotten girlfriend that's not so forgotten. A girl that she used to date in Stanford after she broke up with Patrick and hurt her knee, before she married Art. A girl that had nothing to do with tennis, studied arts and always kept a notebook and a pen in her pocket.

A little lady who was such a sweet, soft thing for Tashi, never once raising her voice at her, docile and gentle, but also very indifferent to the world around her. Locked in her own tiny reality that she only allowed Tashi to be a part of. Tashi had found a completely new world with her, full of nothing but love and tenderness, no fake feelings or overexaggerated pity. Just a little bubble of two girls that make bracelets together and hold each other while falling asleep.

She hasn't seen you after Stanford, actually unsure why. You must have changed your phone number and moved states, perhaps you moved to the very other side of the world, for all she knows. But even now, years later, she can't help herself and think about you when Art is eating her pussy like a good lap dog. She taught you how to do that as well, and you used to be the most shy and tender little thing, afraid to suck too hard or stick your tongue too far, too afraid you would cause her any pain. That's why she's constantly pushing Art further, literally begging him to be violent with her. To bite and claw and suck and pull just so she could remember the warm softness of your plush lips.

You were such an ethereal being, perhaps too unreal. Perhaps you were just a fragment of her imagination, something she made up to help overcome the grief surrounding her injury and the loss of her boyfriend. The gentleness that she had received from you was such a gift. Nobody has treated her the way you did until you disappeared. Perhaps people were right. Perhaps Tashi is an awful human who doesn't deserve a single good thing in her life.

Years later, she meets Patrick in New Rochelle, bumping into him in the hotel lobby. The two bicker for a while, unable to act like two adults, until she notices a gold shining thing on the finger of his left hand. With a smirk so sharp that could slice her throat, he admits to have married a wonderful fairy, sweet little thing. That night, after her husband admits to wanting to retire, she irrationally threatens to leave him if he loses against Patrick in the next day's match. But feeling too guilty, unable to possibly divorce her lover, she goes to sleep with Patrick in exchange for his next day's loss.

Her whole world crumbles into smithereens when she sees Patrick stroll towards the court, hand in hand with a familiar, beautiful face. She's raging, absolutely livid, unable to believe that such an ugly ass man has married the most precious, delicate human to ever walk on this Earth. You haven't changed a bit, at least not overall. Your hair is a bit longer than she rememebers it and your lips are painted an unusual shade of red, too dark for your complexion. But the hearts in your eyes, now directed at Patrick, they still shine the same way that they used to when you glanced at her.

She basically runs towards the locker rooms, hoping not to bump into you, and there she quite literally gets on her knees and begs Patrick to win. Promises that she will buy him whatever he asks for, promises to let Art be his because she knows that Patrick has always loved Art and Tashi has always loved you. She cries too, allowing Patrick to laugh at her and make her look like a fool. At that point, she's absolutely pathetic, completely desperate for her sweet love, and she'd even let Patrick publically humiliate her if it meant you'd be the one wiping her tears away in the end.

It's always easier to win than to lose, so it's no surprise when Patrick completely demolishes Art. He leaves the blonde boy literally sobbing and the craddles him in his arms, promising that everything is going to be okay, that he'll take care of him after he retires. But is Tashi happy? She's unsure. You left her, after all, made a ghost of her presence. So for the first time in her life, she feels like a complete failure, hurriedly shuffling towards your and Patrick's hotel room, knowing your husband is too busy with her own.

You open the door with a soft smile, looking like an absolute goddess and greeting her like an old friend. As if nothing this absurd has happened ever before, you let her in and kiss her forehead. Tashi basically falls into your arms and holds onto you as if you're a dream that's going to disappear. She breathes in the gentle smell of your body and floats in the warmth of your skin. You're real, her sweet girl. You're real, holding her and calling her yours.

[yuzuvrse]

Can we have some of ur mouthwashing headcanons for the tulpar crew? (Can be about anything btw) The brain worms are getting hungry again I fear… 😞

-ig ill be 🪷 anon if it’s not taken yet?

HELLOOO BABYYYY sorry this took so long i was dying bc of my finals </3 but anyways welcome 🪷 anon to the family!!!!!! these hcs ended up so unserious LOL

the crew got banned from playing uno after anya nearly flipped the table when daisuke put down like five +4 cards in a row now they just stick to sorry!

swansea hums to himself when he's working, it's usually like old songs but recently daisuke's pop songs have been getting stuck in his head. (i think it would be unbelievably funny if swansea starts singing like the brainrot versions of songs js bc daisuke keeps playing them. yk like the 'oh the weather outside is rizzy, and the fire is so skibidi' LMAOSKJDSK

daisuke doesn't really have a specific music taste, he listens to a mix of everything. doesn't know how to answer when people ask him what his fave genre is so he tries to act cool and says he only listens to rap music.

anya had a wattpad phase. i can't explain further i can just FEEL it.

curly is actually a decent dancer. his mom sent him for dance classes as a kid and he has a good sense of rhythm. jimmy makes fun of him for this though so he doesn't ever mention it.

jimmy has rewatched american psycho probably more than 117 times. he watches it and he's like:

(i am currently watching + reading it for the first time and patrick bateman is literally jimmy to me.) more content utc!

anya is terrible in the kitchen. like seriously do Not let her in there or the house will burn down just from her boiling water or smth. it's okay tho i will be her housewife <3 (i can't cook either) she is also very good at tetris for some reason. she's a little forgetful so she usually writes things that she needs to remember on the back of her hands but by the end of the day they're all smudged smh. but also she always has perfect nails!

curly is one of those guys who's just naturally good at things. yk when people are like 'oh yeah i never practice' and it pisses you off? he's one of those guys. ik ppl say he's british but he's so american to me??? he was definitely the jock in highschool that every girl crushed on but he never even realised.

swansea is a dog person. he's chill w cats but he definitely prefers dogs. he likes how loyal they are, and i can see him having a massive dog like a st bernard at home waiting for him. but if his kids ever brought back a kitten or smth he'd be the one to be all 'you guys better take care of it bc i won't' but then you see him becoming besties with the cat LOL.

daisuke LOVES the beach. literally a water baby. he's very good at surfing, and always ends up with a tan that makes him look even more handsome bc it compliments his dyed hair so nicely. i think that he grew up in a big family w lots of cousins around where he would be one of the older kids, so he's very good w children as well. he somehow knows the best way to entertain them and keep them out of trouble. (primary school art teacher daisuke are you guys seeing my vision?!?!?!)

jimmy gets nightmares and thus has difficulty sleeping. he lies whenever curly asks him about it but those dark circles say otherwise. this might be random but i also think he's good at singing. in another world he could have been a sleazy rockstar but instead he went to space. are u guys seeing the visual of jimmy laying back in bed strumming his banged-up electric guitar... i hate this mf.

anyways that's all for now! i had a lot of fun w these hehe <3 hope you liked them!

[artdcnaldson]

ok ok ok so i have a thought for pats sister au, i mentioned it a while ago cuz someone was talking about something similar

this isnt like that smutty and slutty, but i need them to also just be a little bit happy. and as much as i love love love mean art, i do need him to be a little bit sweet to her now

but im thinking now that he's like fucking her at every chance he gets, that means hes spending a lot of time with her in general. including parties!!!! they start going together instead of just leaving together. not officially or anything because it would undoubtedly get back to pat, so they're just going with a few mutual friends and pretend its a group thing. its also easier for art to pretend like he doesnt just want to be with you and only you. maybe this party is at a sorority instead of a frat, so art lets his guard down a little. there arent as many guys who art knows, meaning even less guys who might happen to know patrick. and hes not too concerned with all the girls considering girl code or whatever.

so he lets himself party more than he usually would, lets himself drink that extra drink (truthfully a few extra) and stand just that bit closer to her (very much closer, practically leaning against her), he even dances with her, something he's never done with a girl. they lean in close when theyre talking, anyone who didnt know them would assume they were a couple, or at least well on their way to becoming one. TIHI!!!

its a pretty rowdy party, art is shocked he thought the frat parties got out of hand but this was wild. before either of them realize it, theyre both wasted, having the time of their lives, but definitely drunk. their friends have started heading home, but they decide to stick around and keep the party going. his arm is around her, hand on her waist slowly but surely wandering down to rest on her ass, accompanied by the occasional squeeze just to make her fidget. hes letting her get close to him. its nothing too suspicious though, no kissing or outright sexual touch, with the right words it could be explained away as friendly, in case patrick should hear about it.

BUT art is drunk, and drunk stanford art is a party boy, i believe this in my heart and core. he is getting reckless, forgetting about patricj and that he's supposed to keep discreet. he is doing shots, hes making her do shots, hes making any- and everyone do shots with him. and im thinking its one of, or both of, 2 things.

hes taking a shot and then spitting into pats sisters mouth

i see this happening like spontaneously, maybe there's only one shot left in the bottle and art has the genius idea that you'll just share it. she doesnt get what he means but he'll just show her. takes the shot, leaves it in this mouth, grabs her jaw and brings her real close to him. she thinks hes going to kiss her, but he pries her mouth open instead, tilts her head back, and spits the shitty liquor right into her mouth. hand tight around her jaw to keep her in place, eyes on hers, just like when he spits in her mouth fr

OR/and later in the evening

2. tequila body shots

this i see happening as just a sudden idea art has. and hes insisting its a great idea, and he'll even let her start so it doesnt seem like hes just trying to get her naked. so he lays on like a sticky, honestly downright nasty, bartop. he takes off his shirt and ugh he just looks so fucking good. pats sister is getting so possessive with all these girls around ogling at her man lol, shes all too eager to mark her territory. so the way weve always done it where i live is tequila poured in the belly button, salt in a line up the chest and lime in their mouth so you have to kiss them to get it. ive learnt from going to international school that thats apparently not universal? let me know about that cuz confusing? how else?

anyway. she takes the shot off of him, taking her time lick up his chest and even longer to get the lime from between his lips. its not like people are really looking at them, but even if they were those two are too drunk to notice or care. when its her turn hes really making a show of it, gets her to take her shirt off, but lets her keep the bra (its practically see-through with all the lace anyway), but he insists that she has to unbutton her jeans because he also wants salt before the shot or whatever. hes making something up, he just wants to see what panties shes wearing and see if he can smell her sweet pussy. he knows she wet, he can tell. hes just as bad as her, if not worse.

then when the party is ending they're definitely going back together, theyre probably too drunk to even try to have sex. just sloppy and stumbling everywhere. they end up passing out in arts bed together, he only just managed to get them both into some of his clothes and decent for bed, boxers for him and just a shirt and panties for her. in the morning they wake up cuddled close. its the first time theyve slept in the same bed, the first time theyve cuddled, its the first time theyve slept in the same room since art first took her virginity. and now they'd spent the night together without having sex at all. it kind of changes things for them... but not too much :)

-🐞

GODDDDD THIS HAS LIVED SOOO RENT FREE. I'm fucking dead it's too beautiful, too perfect. Also body shots are The Same for me as well so ur so valid <3

You're surprised when the invite comes through your phone— when Art asks for you to come with him to a house party hosted by some sorority girl in one of his classes. He heard about it, heard that they can be fun, wants to see you there.

And, god, you pretty yourself up so much for it— a skimpy little tank top that he can see your bra through, a tiny little denim skirt, sweet, sparkly makeup that catches in the fucking strobe lights set up around the living room. You’re nursing a cocktail of pink lemonade and vodka, leaning against his side as he downs another fucking glass of jungle juice. He’s definitely on the wrong side of drunk, or else he wouldn’t be all over you the way he is.

And you’re fucking living for it, the way he keeps one hand slung around your waist, tugs you closer against him so you’re practically one fucking entity. He puts a fucking glowing test tube shot to your lips, eyes lighting up as you eagerly swallow it down. He could spit directly onto your tongue, in front of everyone and you’d fucking let him.

So he does. He downs a tequila shot, grabs your chin and you’re all wide eyed and eager as you look up at him. He spits it into your open mouth and you swallow it down, nose wrinkling at the taste. You like sweet things— fancy champagne, mixed drinks that are mostly juice. But you smile at him once you’ve swallowed down the tequila, giggling and buzzy.

But auuhghghgh body shots :((( he’s such a lecherous little perv, he gets off on the attention from you so bad. Wants everyone to see how bad you want him, how possessive and needy. Sucking the liquor from his naval, tongue flat as you lick up the line of salt you’d carefully tapped up his torso. He watches how your lashes flutter as you lick along his skin, the salt course on your tongue complimenting the sweaty taste of his skin. Maybe you linger there a little longer than what’s comfortable for anyone else watching. You take the lime from his mouth biting down so you can suck the juices from it.

It’s a little clumsy— you’ve never done one before, but you’d practically bouncing on your feet when you ask him to do one from you. He practically drops you on the table, fumbles his way to pulling off your shirt, tosses it somewhere neither of you will ever fucking see again.

He lines up the salt between your tits, in the pretty valley between the pink lace. You squirm when he pours the tequila into your belly button, he watches it slosh and spill as the muscles of your abdomen tremble. You bite your lip as he unbuttons your skirt, tugs it down just until he sees the pretty lacy pink of your panties, a perfect match to your bra.

God, you wanted him to fuck you so bad— you were practically wearing a sign around your neck that said it. He taps out a line of salt, licks from the waistband of your panties up to your naval, and sucks the liquor from it. His tongue laves at you— a long line between your belly button up to the hollow of your throat.

The rest of the party falls away— it’s just you and Art and you’re honestly pretty convinced he’s going to just fuck you on the table— stake his claim, lick into your mouth until all you know is salt and tequila and citrus and spit.

He bites into the lime and you taste the juice as it sprays into his mouth and drips back onto yours.

You hear people, absently, far in the back of your mind. You’re so fucking gone— you’re embarrassing yourselves, both of you. Art tugs his shirt over your head after the mindless, three-second search for your tank top comes back fruitless.

“Wanna go home?” He asks, his breath hot and his words clumsy against the shell of your ear. Home. Yeah, his dorm pretty much is home to you at this point. His hand’s in your back pocket and you’re waving a tipsy goodbye to your friends, clinging onto Art as you start the trek back to the dorms.

He presses you against a tree halfway back, kisses you hot and urgent and needy. Then again in the stairway up to his room— pins you against a set of windows, smiling and laughing against your mouth as some unfortunate soul catches him with his fingers between your thighs.

By the time you get back to his dorm, you’re basically buzzing with need, want, giddiness, affection. Art can’t get hard because he’s so fucked up, ends up giggling about it against your shoulder, mouthing against your salty, sweaty skin with wet, open-mouthed kisses. He collapses into the bed, tugs you against his side and falls asleep with his face buried in your hair and warm, possessive hands on your body.

You’re both asleep in minutes.

[makeyoumine69]

Neglected

Pairing: Patrick Bateman x fem!OC; CW: SMUT, FFM (kinda), established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, breeding kink. Links: [MASTERLIST]; Song Rec: Jordin Sparks - S.O.S. (Let The Music Play); A/N: Sorry I've been away for so long, my gaming hangover is hitting hard, so I decided to post one of my drafts I'm writing for myself with my OC named April. Also, don't mind me using x reader tags since x OC tags seem to be dead. Anyway, ignore it if it's not your stuff. Love you all!

Panting, April tugged at the tie that bound her hands and wouldn't let her move. "Stop...please...Bateman...don't do this...not like this!"

But Patrick just chuckled and spread her legs, almost ripping her panties off and thrusting into her dripping slit in one swift stroke.

"Fuck," he growled, pulling out completely and then thrusting in again, longing for screams. "My little fairy... has such a tight pussy..."

The woman moaned loudly in response, so Bateman had to stick his finger in her mouth to shut her up and allow her to use it as a pacifier. Just as Patrick was about to lie on top of her and pin her to the bed, the door to their yacht suit swung open and Vanessa, his uncle's girlfriend by the way, stepped inside.

"Oh... what a scene," she murmured, putting a finger to her mouth, obviously enjoying the sight. "Mhmm... can I join you?"

Almost instantly, April pulled away from Patrick as she tried to cover herself, expecting her husband to tell Vanessa to go away, but instead he stopped in his tracks and examined the blonde with undisguised interest.

"I'm not surprised...I can tell you've been thinking about this all evening," he crooned, ignoring the way April writhed beneath him. "Uncle Vic doesn't satisfy you quietly enough?"

Vanessa leaned against the door. "April's such a lucky girl," she snapped, twirling a stray curl around her manicured finger. "So lucky that she can't even understand it...and that means she doesn't deserve you."

"Oh... really?" Patrick asked mockingly before he put his big palm over April's mouth to silence her objections. "You think you can do better?"

Wiggling like she was lying on burning coals, April was about to bite Patrick's finger, but then the man plunged his thumb into her mouth again, a gesture that was something very personal and intimate for both of them. Confused, she blinked several times and looked at him - the confidence he radiated was breathtaking - and she couldn't help but stop fighting him when his lips curled in a way that he was about to blow her a kiss.

"Let me handle this, honey." He whispered so only April could hear. "And then we can continue."

Meanwhile, Vanessa tapped her foot impatiently, the red nails of her hand almost scratching the wooden door. Such insolence only spurred Bateman to prolong the pause, as he relished the way he could keep women on the edge of their nerves.

"You know what," the man began, his face grimacing in disgust. "You can take your flat ass and get out of here right now and maybe... just maybe... I won't tell my uncle about this episode." 

Vanessa froze in shock, the gleam in her big green eyes fading. "Excuse me? What...what did you just say?"

Scowling, Bateman took a deep breath, fighting the urge to unleash his fury on this pathetic bitch. "I said...if you don't leave right now...I'm going to fucking kill you!" Patrick almost screamed and before he could get up from the bed, the woman was gone.

Groaning in annoyance, the man went to the door and closed it, then returned to April, who was lying on the bed crying.

"You...you really sent her away?" She asked in disbelief. "I thought...I thought you would allow her to join us."

Bateman stroked her cheek before kissing her lips. "What a bullshit," he chuckled softly, drawing an invisible line along her bound forearm, "I need you, April...only you," he purred, licking her lips and nibbling at them barely sensibly. "Now...I want you to be...my obedient little fairy...would you be good for me...would you do anything for me?"

April gasped, his words stirring something strange in her, something she thought was impossible for her to feel, "Yes...sir...I would." 

"Good girl," Patrick murmured, his voice a gravelly purr as his fingers traced the tears on her cheeks before sliding down her trembling body. "That's what I like to hear." He cupped her chin gently, lifting her face to meet his gaze. "I'm all yours. Always remember that."

Patrick's touch became more aggressive as he repositioned himself between her legs. His cock, still slick from earlier, found its way back into April's tight warmth with brutal ease. 

Biting her lower lip, the woman bucked her thighs up from the fullness he gave her without mercy. "Pat-Patrick...a-awww..." her voice cracked and she almost clawed at her skin, trying to free her hands. "Sir...s-sir...it's so deep..."

Bateman rolled his hips against hers, pinning her under his heavy frame as he slammed into her, the slap echoing off the walls of her yacht suit. This woman, moaning directly into his ear, was his everything in every possible way, and if he were to breed her, she would be irrevocably bound to him. His love, his obsession, his greatest sin.

"No one else...can make you feel the way I do..." he growled low against her neck, emphasizing each word with a hard thrust that made her gasp in response. "You belonged to me..." he reassured her in that cold, yet soothing tone, filled with twisted satisfaction. "You're all I want!"

As Patrick shifted their positions so that they were now on their sides, he drove deeper into April's yielding form, fucking her sideways. Then he slipped a hand between her legs to vigorously stimulate her clit as he continued his relentless pace, her body writhing with conflicting sensations - as embarrassment turned to arousal - creating an unsettling yet unmistakable chemistry.

"I'mma  c-cum..." April cried out, leaning back against his massive chest, tensed and covered in sweat. "I...f-fuck...I'm cumming!"

"Yeah...give it to me," Patrick spurred her on, thrusting even faster into her wet cunt, their mixed fluids spilling out with a wet, shameless sound. "Let it go...let it go like a good girl you are..."

His soft praise added to the fire of their passion, causing her body to quiver, but as he nibbled at her earlobe, she lost it completely as her orgasm washed over her like a tidal wave, crashing everything in its path. The tightness of her inner, velvety walls around his pulsating dick was too much to handle, though Bateman did his best to last longer, wanting to fuck out every little shock of her climax.

"God...you're so perfect," he squeezed her breast through the damp material of her dress. "You're gonna give me a child...I fucking swear..." Bateman whispered into her ear as he choked on his breath, almost reaching his peak. "Remember...my word..."

Closing his eyes, the man snuggled up to her with tremendous force, nearly shattering her bones as he rode out his own release, spurting his warm seed deep into her womb, making sure not a drop was wasted. April could feel every vein on his dick throbbing inside her, or it was just her clouded mind, for she couldn't even remember where she was.

He owned her, on every level and even beyond.

Spent and exhausted, they both collapsed on their backs, panting and gasping for air. Only after a few minutes did the man remember his tie wrapped around her wrists, and with an almost genuine tenderness, he released her hands and kissed them one by one. With her eyes closed, April just sighed and lay on his chest, seeking protection and he was only too willing to give it to her. 

His fairy, so small, so helpless. Intoxicating.

As they lay there for a while, Bateman looked up at the ceiling, listened to the waves crashing outside the yacht and absentmindedly painted little circles on his wife's bare back, who didn't even realize she was drifting.

But after almost a few minutes, April woke up lying on Patrick's solid chest, his breathing steady, but somehow she could tell that he was not asleep. "Patrick?"

Bateman shifted, leaned in closer and kissed the top of her head. "Yes, dear?"

"Do you remember our wedding?" April asked, looking up at him. "Are you...are you happy you married me?"

"Of course I remember our wedding, April," he replied softly, his voice like silk over steel. "It was a grand affair...fitting for us."

Her question about happiness made him pause. His happiness didn't conform to conventional notions, but April didn't need to hear that truth. Instead, he leaned into the persona she needed.

"I wouldn't have married you if I weren't sure you were the one," he continued, sincerity in his tone. "Our lives aren't perfect, but we fit together in ways others can't understand." His fingers lightly traced her cheek, a gesture that teetered between tenderness and possessiveness. "We're bound together... by more than just marriage," Patrick whispered darkly against her forehead. "You complete me."

As April clung to him, seeking comfort in these spoken reassurances, Patrick felt a twisted sense of satisfaction. Manipulating love into dominance was an art he had mastered to perfection.

"I guess... I can say the same about you." The woman murmured and yawned, hugging him tighter.

Resting his chin on her head as if offering comfort, Patrick allowed one more phrase to slip from his lips, almost tenderly. "You make me who I am...Now rest, tomorrow we go riding."

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[your-unfriendlyghost]

sodapop patrick curtis thoughts on my desk by the end of the week or ur DONE /j

How I feel about this character

  Uh like he’s perfect and should be my wife i think

  Nah but fr Soda’s one of my favorite characters ever. He’s sweet and all, but he’s so much more than that. Pony says he’s movie-star handsome, that he can go from gentle one minute to “blazing with anger” the next, that he gets drunk just on living, and understands everybody. Soda’s a Kerouac-style “mad one”- “mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes Awww!”

He’s a guy who’s sensitive but strong, a “bawl baby” who’s tough, he’s probably got ADHD and dyslexia, the school system failed him. His folks died and left him holding his brothers together by a thread. He’s pretty but not pretty enough for Sandy to stay. He might end up dying in Vietnam, and thank God that isn’t canon, but it’s still there. He’s happy to live life simply, behind a white picket fence with a wife and kids- hell, he’s thrilled to. But that’s not gonna happen, at least not for a while, because Soda is a tragedy. But he loves his brothers and his friends so much that he becomes a beacon of hope despite it all.

  I love Soda. Honestly, this barely scratches the surface of how I feel about him. I haven’t even touched on the adrenaline junkie stuff or the ways he’s sometimes so relatable to me that it hurts. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Steve, and sometimes Evie. 

  I’ve found I’m a friends-to-lovers enjoyer, so Stevepop scratches that part of my brain lol. To have someone who’s got your back through thick and thin, aware of your flaws but in spite of them- well, ain’t that the dream? The angst of it being the 60s makes it interesting to me too, because there’s a lot of ways to handle that. Man, when I first read the book I didn’t get the hype for them at all, but idk. It clicked. I get it now. 

  And then Steviepop is my roman empire lol. It’s all I love about Stevepop, but Evie adds even more complexity. I like her a lot and I love writing her, and I love writing her with characters who I also love. There is absolutely no canon anything to back this ship up. But dammit that’s the point of fandom.

  I will say though that I like exploring Soda’s dynamic with Sandy, but I don’t really ship them. I think the fact that Sandy left him (and I mean cheated on him, even if that can be read ambiguously) implies that there’s something about him that could be undesirable, romantically. I don’t mean cheating is good or that people deserve it, just that in this case, the idea that Soda’s an imperfect boyfriend adds layers to a character who is mostly just positives. We’ll never know Sandy’s POV on it, and I don’t think Soda will either. Sandypop to me will never have closure. That’s what makes it hurt so much. That’s what makes it relatable

My non-romantic OTP for this character

  I mean honestly? Steve. I know this isn’t really fair, since I like Stevepop and all, but idk, there’s no one else who I think it could be. 

  Steve’s a character who’s cocky and troubled and prone to assholeish-ness, but even he loves Soda. He knows about Sandy and gets angry on Soda’s behalf at Pony for mentioning her, which means Soda can tell him- angry, tough Steve Randle- about sensitive stuff. And Soda, who I think is a little in love with everyone he meets and could have anyone he wants, sees this bastard and sticks with him. He sees the parts of Steve that Pony can’t. Parts that make him worthy of being his best buddy.

It’s been said before, but no matter how you look at it, romantic or platonic, they’re each other’s person. I don’t think I could put anyone else in this slot.

My unpopular opinion about this character

 I have a few lol.

1- I see a lotta fics and takes where the whole “drunk on living” thing is a lie Soda feeds Ponyboy, and while I like that take, I do also think it’s totally possible and even plausible that Soda really doesn’t drink and Pony’s view of him (in that aspect) is right.

  I dunno, I mean, I know firsthand what it’s like to just get drunk on adrenaline/excitement. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, and the rush from it is better than any other high I’ve had. Thrill rides make me act as stupid as someone drinking- when I’m excited, I lose all ability to filter thoughts or fight impulses. I’ve done all sorts of dumb moves- climbing onto tables, singing loudly without knowing or caring if it bothers people, play-fighting my buddies so hard we both get genuinely injured, standing up in a convertible going down the freeway... (This is obviously anecdotal and not real evidence or anything, but like, duh. This is an opinion piece lol.)

  I guess what I’m saying is that there’s a lot of interesting things that can still be done with a Soda who genuinely doesn’t drink. (Or at least not much.)

2- I love darker takes on Soda. I love when people dig into his addictive personality, his temper, his relationship with his looks/self image, all that stuff. I love his flaws, and I especially love when they co-exist with his earnest sweetness and genuine sensitivity. In a few of my fics, I’ve explored some slightly darker Sodas- Sodas who are impulsive, pent up, semi-narcissistic and occasionally manipulative. I haven’t delved deep into it or anything, and I usually keep his character wholesome, but I love it when other folks don’t. 

3- I actually really like the Vietnam War storyline. I mean it hurts, but it seems plausible. I hate the idea of him dying there, but I like exploring the idea of him being drafted. Hell, maybe he even enlisted. The military is known for being a good way to earn enough money to pull one’s family out of poverty, and this paired with the flawed ideas of masculinity and strength of the time lead to a really interesting version of Soda’s future.

  I’m real glad it isn’t canon though.

4- This isn’t technically unpopular but brown eyed Soda will always be canon to me. I like Rob Lowe’s Soda a lot but man….he coulda used brown contacts, yk? /hj lol

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Well I still think it’s a crime his emotional monologue got cut outta the original version of the film. Thank God for the full novel version, but man, still.

Woulda also have been cool to see him mentioned in That Was Then This is Now, but I get that SE Hinton wasn’t trying to make an Outsiders sequel really.

Idk, Soda served his purpose, I think. 

tl;dr- I love him

[mostlyinthemorning]

Around Schitt's Creek in 80 Days 2.10

2.10 Ronnie's Party

Johnny and Moira meet with a key demographic; Alexis struggles with her new job; David offers emotional support to his boss' daughter.

IMDB Rating 7.6

Best line: If anyone knows how to put a lactose intolerant in the hospital, it's our Jocelyn.

Alexis's scary adventures:

Alexis: "I was very hands on David. I came up with all the flavors by myself."

David: "Even the one that poisoned all those people?"

Alexis: "David, the factory in Guangzhou assured us it was lead free."

💅

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, when it comes to love, you can’t let the little things get in your way. Like I once dated this Sultan’s nephew who was forbidden to talk to me or even look at me, and we made it work for like, half a regime change.”

Celebrity name drops: Fran Lebowitz

David's clothes: unknown (l) and Saint Laurent (r)

Moira's wig (so approachable!)

Video:

Bonus content:

Fic rec: Marriage of Convenience Store by ICMezzo

David and Patrick Rose-Brewer are brand new husbands (they aren’t) who co-own Rose Apothecary (they don’t), and all their business paperwork is completely on the up and up (it's not), because Patrick is excellent at dealing with difficult conversations (he isn't) before things turn into giant messes (which they always do). Also, for some reason there are hamsters.

See you tomorrow!

[blixabargelds]

can u summarize superstars main characters please ? new to this au and i am tuning in

hiii yes ofc it’s being written alternating between gale and johns pov, im writing gale’s which is why you see sm of that. my bestie elo is writing john’s and they’re internet shy which is why you don’t see that jgkgkj

gale is a lil shy, pretty quiet, joins the band after seeing one of their shows bc they need a new bassist and him n john are in love almost immediately lol. he cannot play bass. rosie teaches him :3 he’s got pretty intense anxieties around keeping the people he loves safe after his mom died when he was younger. he’s a bit of a demon in bed. he’s a really hard worker n gets good at bass pretty quick. he can’t write lyrics but he’s incredibly good at picking out patterns that sound good, working with song arrangements, approaches music like a lot of things as a formula to be worked out meticulously. he lives w john in johns apartment. he’s pretty dependent on him, bc he’s practically a runaway and has no money, which isn’t usually an issue but definitely becomes one at a few points. he finds it hard to open up but once he places his trust in someone he’ll come out his shell. rosie is kind of his best friend.

john’s the frontman/ singer/ shouter in there band. he’s very good at writing lyrics. can’t really play any instruments. he’s a kid from a broken care system, never knew his parents. has a shady criminal past with curt but he is a very sweet guy. he’s got the biggest heart out of all of them. walking disaster. uses humour to cover up a lot of hurt, and to keep a Lot of secrets. he’s absolutely head over heels for gale. can be incredibly bossy in band practise, and in bed (gale likes that). has a lot of self destructive habits, a lot of self worth issues. will do literally anything for the people he loves and i mean Anything, but will do almost nothing for himself. him and rosie dated when rosie was in college, which is mostly fine and sometimes pretty messy. we kind of accidentally reinvented richard hell with him.

curt is the drummer. he’s johns best friend from way back when, they’ve done some shady business together in the past. his dad was a criminal, a violent man, but someone curt weirdly looked up to in a lot of ways as a kid. he was strong n didn’t take any shit. curt def separated himself from his family when he got a little older though, realised his dad was running business thru some boots and braces types and curt didn’t want any part in that world. he’s fiercely loyal to his friends, honestly the best person you want on your side. frequently the voice of reason in the band. very cool headed. saves gales life at one point, has definitely saved john’s before. musically he’s an absolutely rabid drummer, like whiplash sticks bloody etc. he’s also a lil basic. or maybe just very straightforward. like his favourite band is black flag. nothing wrong with that but he does roll his eyes at rosie when rosie asks him if he’s heard the latest release from someone no one ever in the world has heard of.

rosie is the guitarist. rosie is. ahhh. insane. lol. he’s patrick bateman. he’s jesus christ. he is a musical genius, he’s got classical training, can play like 10 different instruments, he went to julliard. his parents are seriously upstanding citizens who wanted him to be a classical prodigy but their overbearing attitudes drove him toward punk and distancing himself from them. his mother is Nuts. rosie is endlessly kind and also cold inside, he’s the best friend you want and also the grim reaper. he’s sooo sexy. he does not call women back ever. he had a big breakdown in college. he’s like a lil cracked. but also outwardly so steady and so put together. i have to study him under a microscope. he will play the harp for 6 hours straight until his fingers bleed to avoid having one thought.

fun minor characters include; sandy (rosie’s ex who keeps cropping back up. rosie’s mom Loved her. she’s probably rich enough to not care about voting but she thinks trump is just hilarious), ulrich ([redacted]), Big Tom ([redacted]), and marge. sweet marge gale’s childhood sweetheart who’s always there for him even when they never really see each other anymore.

[patrickjanebrain]

Patrick Jane's Problems with Authority

On the show there are two specific situations you can expect Jane to get excited about. The first is when he comes across a performer or another con artist, someone who is also in the craft of fooling people. No matter how skilled or clumsy that person is, Patrick is always intrigued. He likes to view the competition. He always perks up when he smells a scam. It’s endearing. 

The second situation is when Jane encounters a petty tyrant available for him to take down. It doesn’t matter how small the throne they sit on, if they’re in any way unworthy, he views it as his honor to kick over that chair and laugh.

It’s not just once in a while. It’s every time. Every tyrant. Every politician, principal, CEO, security head, or society snob. They don’t have to get in Patrick’s way or insult him (or Lisbon) either, although if they do, he strikes like a mongoose. No mercy.

Patrick Jane hates authority. He really does. He especially hates unearned authority, blowhards, and tyrants, but he does not recognize any authority over himself at all. As he tells the sheriff in Red Alert (3x13): “I’m not below or above, I’m to the side.” He sees himself outside the hierarchy, an authority to himself and the only authority over himself. If he cooperates at all, it’s only because it’s in his best interest to do so. Sometimes, even when it is in his best interest, his impulse to be a pain in the ass wins out over practical concerns.

As far as Lisbon goes, she doesn’t control him, and his affection and care for her is the only reason he occasionally lets her put the brakes on him. Not because she’s his boss (she is, but he doesn’t acknowledge it), but because his messes get her in trouble, and he doesn’t want her to suffer. 

Outside of the people he interacts with regularly, Jane has three basic approaches to people. 

AUTHORITY FIGURES

Any person in authority, he automatically begins to try to poke at their achilles heel. He’ll make little mocking digs or outright humiliate them. He’ll question their leadership ability or just embrace his naughty side:

See that flourish? Jane artistically adds it after he paints the last letter in “SNYDER SUCKS"? That’s a fuck-you flourish. The vandalism is enough to get him the principal’s attention (which Jane needs to expose the fact that he’s been illegally surveilling minors in the bathrooms). The message is one of (Patrick’s usual) disdain. The flourish, though: that’s for every kid who’s had to deal with this self-righteous, hypocritical prick. He’s sticking it to the man, almost literally. 

He just loves to do this. It’s not work for him, it’s a privilege. 

REGULAR  PEOPLE

When Jane questions average people who are not authority figures and who have information to give, he’s sort of a neutral version of himself. He can still be bratty, but it’s not in any way malicious. Sometimes he has to stir people up to get an answer or idea, but there’s nothing personal in that. He doesn’t want to hurt them or help them. He’s just doing his job, and often that’s making trouble to cause a distraction or get someone to reveal something. 

Jane was trained from birth to view regular non-carny people as marks, and it’s still a habit. He doesn’t get involved, and he doesn’t feel guilty about how he interacts with them as long as he doesn’t really hurt them. 

THE VULNERABLE

This is the facet of Patrick Jane’s character that is the most interesting to me: his care and tenderness with people who are hurting or are weak in some way. I’ve read commentary online from people questioning whether Jane is a psychopath or a sociopath, but I don’t think that you can view how he interacts with children, injured or sick people, and anyone who is vulnerable and call him incapable of empathy. He’s capable of enormous empathy.  

He has a personal understanding of grief and pain, and when he sees it in others, he softens. He doesn’t hug people, but he will give them careful, useful advice. Occasionally he will do little favors, like a quick hypnotism to help them break a bad habit, or show them his real self and what he’s learned through suffering. 

Interestingly enough, he will change his approach when he sees someone get downgraded from authority figure to a vulnerable person. He does this with Bosco once he’s injured, and he also immediately drops his desire to toy with the coroner, Dr. Steiner, who has shown him outright disdain in the past (and present!). In The Red Mile (3x18), as soon as Jane comes to understand that Steiner is sick, he goes out of the way to give him what he knows he needs: a front row seat to an adventure, breaking the rules to catch the bad guy personally. He also gives Steiner the great gift of sitting with him and distracting him while he’s committing suicide, though it clearly costs him to see death come and take another person he’s grown to like. 

Jane takes pity on Lorelei Martins after he understands what Red John has done to her, even though she tried to hurt him and engineer Lisbon’s death. 

It’s easy to see Patrick Jane as cool or funny or even cruel, but the reality is that he has experienced a ton of loss and trauma and that’s permanently altered the way he relates to people and how he sees them. Ultimately, I think the reason that he has so many problems with authority is because his father was very abusive and controlling. Every petty tyrant Jane takes down is a proxy for his father and a win for his younger self. He is taking back control for all of the times he couldn’t when he was vulnerable and had no other options.

[farmerbebop]

The sun was shining too bright for me to be worrying about my deadline so I guess I'll use this rare occasion to make a pinned post.

When I started blorbo posting it was simply because "If even I, who knows next to nothing about British and American TV series, can see that Patrick McGoohan was criminally underrated, then maybe this blog has a reason to exist."

The only thing I ever learned about blorbo posting is from the Columbo fandom. They have fun, and they love their blorbo. As the kids say: Love and peace on planet earth.

But McGoohan is a challenge and will never stop being one. His public image, both in front and behind of the camera, isn't that of someone who would be pleased with blorbo posting. I don't know how other blorbo bloggers feel, but I just wish I can hold a conversation with my blorbo that doesn't bore him to death or anger him to the point of throwing me out of the room.

Judging someone who talked about his nervous breakdown like it was just a cold isn't something I like to do, especially online. So if I have to talk about McGoohan, I always get quite nervous. I can only say that I regret we didn't get to know him as much as we would like to and I really wish he was still here with us.

I know many of the decisions he made, he made it for future generations. It's my privilege to say that my blorbo's gift to the three-year-old running this blog has been her greatest pride as a blorbo blogger. And her hardest and most honourable task is not to mess it up.

I actually didn't create this blog to please McGoohan (the ladies can testify to that, lol). And I think I make fun of him more than I should. But I hope he knows that life as a blorbo blogger isn't easy when your blorbo is Patrick McGoohan and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be too hard on me.

And just in case anyone is wondering what the hell I'm doing on here, here's a short guide to my blog.

my stupid vid My McGoohan fancams are what I personally consider the funniest part of my blog. But they can be somewhat serious too, I think.

my lousy photoshopping This can mean just about anything. McGoohan as The Little Prince. McGoohan in Ingmar Bergman's films. Anything that I made with photoshop. So I have some more tags to categorize it.

mcgoohan at the museum What I love to do the most in photoshop is putting McGoohan into paintings. I don't know why. Maybe because it easily hides my lousy photoshopping skills. Or maybe because my blorbo is as beautiful as a painting.

mcgoohan album covers What can I say? “But you don't really care for music, do you?”

mcgoohan fashion Let's be honest, don't you love a beautiful blorbo?

mcgoohan posters I sometimes try not to misinterpret McGoohan's works, I don't know if I succeed though.

no context mcgoohan Mostly just McGoohan sitting or standing somewhere. But I love it nonetheless.

mcgoohan for kids and mcgoohan anime Well, it's exactly what you would expect it to be.

mcgoohan arthouse One day I'll retire from blorbo posting and go back to watching arthouse films.

mcgoohan stickers They are not as cute as cat or bunny stickers, but they stick all right.

the prisoner redux or anything redux means my lousy photoshopping for that particular series/movie. But when there are so many McGoohans in one post I get tired of tagging and I just give up.

I think that's enough of my lousy photoshopping.

wild mcgoohan in his natural habitat McGoohan as God intended him. Trying to not give away too much information in interviews.

mcgoohan lore McGoohan in someone else's words, including his daughter's. Needless to say, my words should not be trusted. You'll know them when you see them.

my gif McGoohan gifs, mostly for losing tumblr polls. Also for making this blog popular with the ladies on here.

village poetry If there's one thing that McGoohan might like about this blog, this is probably it.

village soundcloud Blorbos and song lyrics go hand in hand - Tumblr proverb.

mcgoogoo and me Just me rambling about my McGoohan dreams and my hard life as a blorbo blogger.

my lousy shitposting It has something to do with McGoohan I'm afraid. But it's fun.

I know this blog has become quite predictable and it's filled with half of my life's story. But if McGoohan was really who I think he was, that would be the least of his problems with my blog.

And finally, my hiatus is a running joke that I'm getting worse at, I hope.

[generisydtoo]

Why I draw Sakura with brown skin

(Bc people frequently ask)

Disclaimer❗️: I’m not saying my design is better or a “fixed” version of her canon design. I like her canon design, and I also like mine and other people's designs of her with brown skin :)

For reference, here’s how I mostly draw Sakura:

My main reasons are:

I started off really wanting to know how she would look if she had a skin tone that resembled Kizashi (her dad), especially since there’s not a whole lot of skin tone diversity among the Naruto characters (esp the main cast). In terms of looks, the only thing she got from Kizashi was her hair, so I wanted to expand on that!

Aesthetics/artistic liberty. I love how pink looks with brown skin; pink and brown is such an underrated combo. I've seen people say that she resembles a cherry blossom more with fair skin but personally, I think she resembles the entirety of a cherry blossom tree with brown skin. I hope that doesn't sound too corny, lol.

Personally, I headcanon her ethnicity to be Japanese and Black. One of the people I reference for her design is Naomi Osaka (especially with her pink hair and Kishimoto's drawing of her and Sakura), who is Japanese and Haitian!

Bonus (Hair):

As for her hair, I draw it curly bc of how her and her dad’s hair stick up. Their hair seems to naturally defy gravity, and in Kizashi's case, it's to the point where it can form and hold a cherry blossom shape. When I was younger and saw it for the first time, I thought it was the coolest thing, and interpreted it as curls lol.

I see people call Kizashi’s hair “Patrick Star” (which is amusing, lol), but I also wish they’d also acknowledge it being a visual allusion to his daughter’s name. He seems like a person who tends to "love out loud" (which could be where Sakura gets it from); I can see him using his hair to do that with his family (with his hair being a visual allusion to his daughter). I’d go out on a limb and say that Kizashi’s hair is one of Mebuki’s favorite traits about him but maybe that’s a conversation for another day.

Here’s my interpretation of Kizashi. I kept some things fairly the same, but I translated others to how I interpreted them, particularly his kinky-curly hair. I think the curl pattern allows the cherry blossom style to naturally hold its shape well!

So for anyone wondering about my designs, I hope this answers your question. If you have any other questions or comments, feel free to comment them! Just make sure to keep it respectful :) .

[presidenthades]

Here’s the behind-the-scenes for Lavender Ch. 7!

Usual disclaimer that these thoughts aren’t necessarily canonical to the fic verse until/unless I write them into the actual story.

Aemond being the first to refer to Aegon as the new king makes me feel a lot of feelings, especially after S2. In this verse, even though Aemond thinks Aegon is farrrrr from perfect, he still sticks with his brother.

Harrold is still secretly Team Rhaenyra even after Viserys disinherited her, so he looks to her for cues. If Rhaenyra had decided not to support Aegon, I think Harrold would follow her even if that means civil war. The rest of the Kingsguard might splinter just as in canon.

This fic allowed for some fun thought experiments about the HOTD line of succession. If the king’s word is law, then Baelon/Elenar is the rightful king, and everyone (including Rhaenyra) supporting Aegon is committing treason. But readers were overwhelmingly in favor of Aegon becoming king. So does that mean “the king’s word is law” only matters if we like what the king is saying? 🧐 Maybe it means that our real-world arguments about “the rightful king/queen” don’t really matter, because we’re all just going to argue in support of our preferred character no matter what we actually believe. Most of the people advocating for “the king’s word is law” aren’t actually absolute monarchists in real life, and most of the people advocating for “male primogeniture is the custom/law” aren’t actually misogynists in real life. It’s all fiction. Anyway, that’s my soapbox for the day lmao.

Smallfolk be rooting for Aegon like he’s their favorite sports team. ⚽️

Luce’s instinct is to reach for the poker when the door opens, because Larys has been hanging out with Jace wayyyyyy too much. (And as Jace later reveals, Larys was hanging out with Jace right before Aegon arrived.) Next time Larys showed up, Luce was ready to just bash his head in and figure out how to hide the body later. 🪦

Luce is a Jacegon cockblocker in every universe ahahahaha.

I love that Aegon’s first reaction to hearing that Luce is married is that a) she married not-Aemond and b) Aemond’s gonna be pissed. Truly a bro.

Even while nursing a baby, Jace insists on following protocol and kneeling to the new king. Girl needs a vacation. I also made a point of having Jace be the first to address Aegon as “Your Grace.” Of course he hates it and almost immediately tells her to stop it.

Note how Aegon never calls the baby “Baelon” in his dialogue or internal monologue, and Jace never calls him “Baelon” either. They know their kid isn’t keeping that name. Jace has probably been secretly calling him “Elenar” the whole time.

Elenar is very much a Velcro baby/mama’s boy in this universe. Jace takes care of him 99% of the time, and she is peak caregiver. Little buddy isn’t going to lower his standards after her lol.

I love Jace’s speech about Viserys’s death. She helped mastermind it/nudge Alicent in that direction, but she’s never going to explicitly admit it, even to Aegon. Then, in the same breath, she implies that Aegon better not pull a Viserys on their son one day, or else. Such romance. 😍 Of course Aegon is immediately turned on lmao. He makes a point of disarming himself so he doesn’t spook Jace, and then I included the “I find it stimulating” line as a nod to Aegon’s speech when he fires Otto in S2.

Elenar didn’t get Aegon’s in utero singing in this verse, so he doesn’t recognize his daddy right away. 😢 As far as Elenar is aware, Aegon is a threat to Elenar’s monopoly on Jace. 😡 Or maybe he just hit Aegon out of reflex. Idk. Elenar has impeccable timing every time his parents get frisky.

One commenter said that they hear Sir Patrick Stewart’s voice whenever Elenar has “dialogue.” I have decided this is canon.

“He owes someone a lot of money.” Aegon remembers his promise to make Lord Celtigar pay reparations to the one-legged man. #SmallfolkKing

Jace knows that Aegon will get overwhelmed if he’s inundated with political things, so she filters out what she deems is most important for him to deal with, right now. Aegon is lucky she’s trustworthy. She also knows he gets hangry, so she has pie ready for him before they get to business. She sorts through what Aegon HAS to do (e.g. attend Viserys’s funeral) and what can be delegated (e.g. planning the funeral). She knows what Aegon has the capacity for, and she works with what she has.

Usually a coronation is a big state affair which requires lots of planning, so it gets pushed out. Seven is a symbolic number in Westeros, hence the seven month waiting period.

Jace all but admits to Aegon that, if circumstances became truly dire, she would’ve agreed to sleep with Larys. This confession is a very big deal because,if her husband were less in love with her, he might forever suspect her of adultery under the “right” circumstances. “Womanly virtue” and “chastity/fidelity” are essentially the same thing in this setting. But Jace hates lying so she tells Aegon. And Aegon, malewife that he is, appropriately places his anger on Larys instead of Jace.

I don’t think Larys’s primary goals are to sow chaos or get feet pics. Those are ways for him to amuse himself and to demonstrate his leverage over people in power. He likes that he, the crippled second son of House Strong, managed to get the king’s ear and encourage Viserys to almost destroy his own family. But he also knew Viserys wouldn’t live forever, so Larys was thinking of what to do once Viserys is gone. Despite his scheming, Larys is just a man who experiences lust, and his type is young, vulnerable women thrust into positions of power. Jace is his type, and becoming close to her helps him get even more power/influence (she’s the mother of the future king). If Aegon hadn’t come back, or if he’d died in the trial, Larys may have eventually wrangled himself into the role of Jace’s second husband. From there, it’d be easy for him to become the Hand. And maybe Elenar suffers an accident, and if all of Viserys’s sons are also dead, then the Iron Throne eventually falls to Jace…and any children she might have with her second husband. 👀

It was tricky figuring out the consequences for Alicent. Aegon’s inability to pardon her and expect everyone to forget what she did is an example of how kings can’t just get what they want all the time. Alicent is a pious woman, so she feels compelled to confess to the crime of husband-slaying/kingslaying. Harrold also wouldn’t let the matter go without it being punished somehow; Harrold loved Viserys too. Jace knows it’s more politically and legally stable to enact a punishment rather than sweep it under the carpet. But she and Aegon acknowledge that Alicent simply did what they would’ve done if they had the opportunity, so it feels wrong to truly punish her. Hence, Alicent is confined to drafty Castle Driftmark, where Rhaenyra has to regularly check in on her, close enough for her dragonriding children to visit. Oh no! Anyway.

Are Alicent and Rhaenyra going to be a romantic thing now? I left it open to interpretation. They are definitely friends again at the very least. Their history in this universe isn’t as fraught as in canon, so there is still room for the HMS Rhaenicent if that’s what readers want to interpret!

“You will be a fine king” is a twist on what Alicent says to Rhaenyra in S1E8. Aegon’s waited his entire life to hear his mom say it, and she finally did. 😭

Now that there’s a Velaryon queen, there’s a bit of a Velaryon Ascendancy at court. It’s why royal marriages happen, after all. Rhaenys finally gets a taste of ruling because she’s helping Jace, and Jace is the one really conducting business for Aegon.

Jace experiences caregiver burnout this chapter. Not only is she a full-time mom to a newborn, she also has to perform the duties of a queen consort AND help Aegon with his duties. She’s good at helping Aegon delegate but she can’t help herself delegate. 🥲

I really wish I could get a sketch of the scene where Aegon runs mostly naked through the castle corridors while carrying a screaming baby. 😂 Servants had a lot to gossip about that day.

Aegon hid his goodies at Sunspear so they weren’t looted. Jace gets to wear the pearl lingerie he described in his letter, after all. 🤭

Aegon’s passing thought to give the dagger to Daeron ends up being a VERY good decision, as we see in Chapter 8.

The child’s drawing that Aegon finds was indeed made by him. 😢 Viserys is an antagonist in this verse and very awful to Aegon. But deep down, Viserys did love Aegon—definitely the little Aegon in his memories, at least. I imagine that Viserys occasionally looked at that drawing, felt regret about his scheming, then put it away and made himself forget any affection he might have for Aegon.

Did Aegon destroy two very important historical artifacts (a king’s journal and potentially a copy of Daenys’s Signs and Portents) without a second thought? Yup. Will he regret that one day? Maybe. But he’s an “act first, think later” kind of guy, so.

See Chapter 8 commentary here.

[manicplank]

This might be a weird ahh prompt, but I was wondering how the Pizza Tower fellas would react when they enter in a giggling/laughing fit. You know, those in where you try to stop laughing but fail miserably (It happened to me recently at 5 AM so yea-)

Also I love your blog so much bye <3

I know exactly what they're talking about and I love it

Laughing fits

Peppino: He probably heard or saw something really stupid and can't stop thinking about it. Every time he almost stops laughing, it pops in his head again, and he bursts out in laughter. He'd be on his hands and knees with tears in his eyes. As soon as it goes quiet, he thinks about it again and screams with laughter.

Gustavo: Giggles a lot. Laughs until he can't breathe, catches his breath, then starts laughing again. His jolly little laugh turns into wheezing as he gasps for air. He ends up rolling around with his hands on his belly, kicking his little legs around.

Mr. Stick: Starts laughing at whatever he finds funny. His laughter is contagious, even to himself, and it just leads to even more laughter. Imagine Waluigi going "he he he he HA HA HA". It's hard not to laugh at that. He kicks and stomps his feet trying to cope with the silliness.

Pepperman: I imagine he has a dumb laugh similar to Patrick Star's. He painted something stupid and can't get over how dumb it is. He'd probably end up falling and rolling around. It's not even funny. He just has no sense of humor.

The Vigilante: Instead of his normal laugh, he's wheezing. He heard someone fall over drunkenly at the saloon and just couldn't hold his laughter in. It gets funnier every time he thinks about it. Funniest thing he's seen in a while. He might also be a little bit drunk.

The Noise: He's absolutely laughing at one of his own jokes with Noisette. He's laughing so hard that it's silent. He's rolling on the floor and slapping his knee. He tries to collect himself, but as soon as he does, he bursts out laughing again.

Noisette: Laughing at the stupid joke Noise told. She's on the floor curled up. Her stomach hurts from laughing, but she just can't stop. She's wheezing uncontrollably with gasps for air interrupting, she also laughs so hard she snorts. She tries to stop laughing but repeats the joke and loses her shit again.

Fake Peppino: He saw someone slip and fall. How silly! He laughs in reverse. When he laughs, his body moves like a cat who's about to throw up. He can't stop laughing! He gets the goggles for the rest of the day. Everything makes him laugh.

Pizzahead: Gets laughing fits quite often over the smallest of things. He finds The Noise especially entertaining as he can be incredibly clumsy. Once Pizzahead starts laughing, he can't stop for at LEAST an hour. He laughs so hard that he probably gurgles. He has the tendency to scream when he laughs, too.

Pillar John: He's a relatively silly guy despite how miserable he looks in the tower. His hatred for Pizzahead has its advantages. When Pizzahead gets hurt, it's HILARIOUS. He can't stop laughing, especially when Pizzahead scowls at him for thinking it was funny. The look on his face makes John laugh so hard that the tower shakes. (People in the tower thought it was an earthquake.)

Gerome: He doesn't laugh often. In fact, he has a broken sense of humor. There was one time Pizzaface slammed face down on Pizzahead and flattened him. It made Gerome laugh SO HARD that he fell on his back and needed help getting up. He still chuckles when he thinks of it.

[solar-halos]

okay i watched speak no evil (2022) and it was just as frustrating as u all promised. here are my thoughts

1. patrick seemed a bit more unlikeable in this one?? like even at the beginning when he was supposed to be in prime Manipulation Mode. idk maybe i’m biased to the 2024’s british-ness though

2. i also watched this one with my brother and right from the beginning he was being a certified complainer about the acting. i liked it though bc it felt less scripted in a way?? like idk they truly did just seem like an awkward little family that was excited to have new friends

3. i liked ciara here haha. im sorry im so awful with names (as u could tell by my last speak no evil rant LOL i couldn’t even remember ant’s name). i liked her in the 2024 version too, she was very (outwardly) bubbly and sweet, but i like how in this was she lowkey was not monkeying around. like louise said their house was small and she went “sorry we’re not made of money :/ get fucked idiots.” if anything i feel like patrick was the one getting all 🥺🥺

4. speaking of abel… why did they change his name to ANT in the remake?? like okay. maybe they were worried about a name like abel sticking out but like… i don’t know. they’re eccentric i feel like they could pull off having a kid named that

5. the stuffed animal scene!! lowkey think i prefer the twist of it being in the car the entire time bc it made everything so much more pointless but in a good way. like. yeah of course everything they did was for nothing bc whether or not the stuffed animal was in the car the entire time they still would have met the same fate bc the parents have no BACKBONE. if that makes any sense

6. okay… i think in europe nudity isn’t really that big of a deal and stuff, but i still was like literally so shocked that louise let the whole “patrick sleeping next to my daughter NAKED” thing slide. like even in the 2024 version where he was (minimally) clothed and ciara went into her whole sob story i still was so upset that louise let it slide bc the fact of the matter is that they still shouldn’t have had agnes in their bed. i do think that “where were you?” line ate downnn though

7. with that being said, the parents seem to love each other a lottt more. i actually did like how in this version they heard agnes asking for them but ignored her, maybe that’s why they didn’t try arguing with ciara and patrick that much about it (but even then… girl. patrick was butt booty naked. how the fuck was that not something we lingered on)

8. so many of the scenes were shot for shot with the remake, except for the last leg of the movie. i won’t talk about how the americans changed it into a thriller instead of unnerving dark cautionary tale and blah blah blah but i am gonna say that i prefer the american one ONLY BECAUSE there was an attempt to fight back. like im not asking for this big action-y scene where they crack skulls and shank their captors. im just asking for them to at least TRY. the biggest example that sticks out to me was when patrick left the car to go piss and the husband literally just sat there and stared at they keys. i feel like if we tried to grab them but then he got smacked around by the wife (or even if the wife stabbed him w the scissors she had!!) it would have given everything more tension while still making u frustrated that the husband didn’t just try to stick it out even though it was a losing battle

does that make sense? lol like maybe he could be lunging for the keys and ciara stabs him but he’s still trying to squirm into the drivers seat. but he’s not fast enough. and we as the audience know he’s not gonna be fast enough—especially when patrick notices something is wrong—but we’re still screaming at the screen anyway to tell him to hurry the fuck up

9. they drowned abel!!!! :o

10. as u can prob tell i’m not very smart so when i watched the 2024 version and ant showed agnes the shed of all their victims i lowkey didn’t understand the specifics. like i knew that they were tryna kill the parents + take agnes but that was only bc of context clues. so when this scene came on in the 2022 version i felt like i could enjoy the creep factor much more as it showed the progression of their victims

11. i lowkey did not understand that scene where their car got stuck. like i guess they ended up calling patrick but personally if that were my family my dad would be like “hold up… im pushing the car forward” which would arguably be a worse plan than leaving ur wife and children in the vicinity of literal murderers but. yk. if me and my family were in this movie there wouldn’t BE a movie bc my dad does not fuck w the white man

12. lowkey louise was so robbed of agency in this movie. no wonder she started stripping without knowing what was up, in her pov her husband was acting strange and then her daughter got ripped away from her she literally had none of the desperation her man did to escape!!

13. the babysitter being a part of this. yall can’t tell me that what they’re doing isn’t some sort of cult-y community thing bc wtf. the same could be said for the 2024 version i suppose but i think the most american thing about this was we went “oh a brown immigrant man assisting in murdering and abducting children…? we have to scrap that” (which just to be clear i am glad we did scrap that. it’s just interesting seeing what other countries are doing esp since this movie was only made 2 years ago)

14. them stripping and getting stoned to death wtf!!!! again i don’t have a problem with this ending trust me. i love how dark it is. i just have a problem w the fact that they didnt TRY to do anything even though they knew patrick and ciara didnt have weapons. when they took agnes away louise started hitting at things instead of ciara and patrick, and my brother took a real big problem with that (he called it a temper tantrum lol) and yeah it made me roll my eyes too but i didn’t mind it bc at least she was given SOME fire. but idk maybe im just too american it seems like every time ur like “i just wish they would have pushed back a lil more” film critics are like “classic americans… not everything needs a big action scene to be considered cinema” like trust me im not asking for that. even when patrick threw like two (2) punches at the husband it would have been so much better if the husband got a blow in. not bc it would have turned the tide but bc they’re all already in too deep that a lil punch wasn’t gonna fix anything by a long shot

15. oh! my brother pointed out that at the end when they were getting stoned to the death the same italian opera song came on to parallel the beginning

16. okayyy i think that’s it