#i also just feel annoying and like how i show love isn’t what people want or need idk i’m too tired to make sense | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saerins · 11 months ago

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°୨୧ INEVICABLY, UNDENIABLY

+ gojo satoru x f!reader | wc 3.3k | content: fluff, modern au, friends to roommates to lovers, timeskip thing; from high school -> adulthood, alcohol, implied sex, children, marriage, gojo is mostly clingy and annoying and we love him for it, the years and age correspond to his actual birthdate, take this as my birthday fic for him <3

summary: despite seemingly having it all, gojo satoru’s goal has always been the same all these years you’ve known him—all he wants in life is you, and only you. during his birthday this year, gojo counts his blessings.

2006; seventeen.

the day you agreed to be satoru’s partner in homeroom class is the day you signed away your sanity. not because satoru’s hard to get along with or that he’s rude or slacks off, but because it’s hard not to fall for a boy with such pretty eyes and even prettier lips who likes to say the most beautiful things.

getting to know satoru is like taking a deep in the clearest, coldest ocean after an entire lifetime of being dipped in molten lava. he’s annoying, refreshing and eye-opening all in one.

satoru shows promise in the first lesson, doing fairly well at cooking and sowing, although afterwards he just falls off because you end up having to teach him how to properly use alcohol in his cooking so he doesn’t burn himself or that you’d end up patching his fingers up since he accidentally pokes himself a lot more than the average human would.

still, it’s not his fault he isn’t naturally talented in the home economics department. he is in sports, you find out, after a few months of being in the same class as him.

“hey, y/n.” he’s leaning back on his chair, depending on its hind two legs for support. it’s become his habit during class to bother you whenever the teachers aren’t in.

you were assigned the seat diagonally behind him, and it’s become a habit for you to ignore him—mostly because most of the time, it’s nonsense that falls out of those lips, especially after you’d gotten close. it’s his sign of affection, you realise.

“hey y/n, i’m being serious this time, i need to talk to you,” satoru whines, pouting and sighing in that over dramatic way that only he can.

that’s also not the first time he’s tricked you into acknowledging him so all you do is look at him, a smile appearing that you failed to suppress, and bring a finger to your lips, signalling for him to hush.

unperturbed, satoru smirks and gets to scribbling on a piece of paper, folding it (annoyingly and quickly) into a swan before handing it to you. he winks at you, and you’re immediately driven not to give him satisfaction by reading it. instead, you bow slightly and stuff it in your pencil case, making satoru pout again and giving yourself the sweet taste of victory.

the rest of your sophomore year in high school, you find yourself growing closer to satoru, an unfamiliar feeling growing inside of you. you find that you like knowing what makes him tick, and even the way he says your name, or even watching him ace every kind of sport and then having him blow a teasing kiss to you after each win.

“y/n, i’m so jealous of you, how’d you manage to get gojo satoru of all people?” one of your classmates whine, swooning endlessly over him.

you only laugh it off, deigning to think too much of it.

it’s weird; he’s most of the schoolgirls’ crushes, but you’ve never considered him to be yours. maybe it’s just a fleeting feeling that will go away with the test of time.

yeah, that should be all that is.

2007; eighteen.

“why not? we’re practically going to the same college.”

with time, you thought that maybe satoru would become a little more sane. like how growing into adults, you slowly shed the ridiculous dreams you had as a child. but he’s not, if not—he’s even more insane.

“we haven’t got the results yet, satoru.”

“i’m pretty sure we’ll get in though.”

“and what’s your basis for that?”

“i’m never wrong about these.”

as always, satoru lives in his own little bubble and you can’t help but to sigh. in his head, both of you will get into that same college you applied for and he has it all planned out: “we get into college, sign up for whatever classes, and then rent an apartment together—genius right?”

that was satoru just moments ago, elbows leaned over the grocery cart as he grins at you, beaming like a dog waiting for their owner’s approval. now he’s still doing the same, except you’ve flicked him on the forehead before turning your attention to the aisles because apparently, he says he hates the food at home and would rather have what you’re cooking.

he’s made it his life mission to invade your meals over the weekend, squeezing himself into your family, bonding with your sibling and your parents and only then did you realise what you forgot in the first place: satoru is one of the most charming people to ever walk the earth. your siblings constantly ask about the next time he’s coming over, and your parents are just waiting for you to announce that he’s your boyfriend—which he’s not, but he sure likes to make it seem that way.

another thing you notice about satoru thanks to your now-weekly grocery runs: he likes to wander around way too much, and complains afterwards when he finds you after losing you.

“y/n!”

it’s like routine by now; the way satoru rushes over to you, putting his arm around your shoulder and sticking his cheek against yours, telling you how he almost died because he thought he lost you—like the drama queen he is. by now, all you can offer him is a ruffle of his hair before you carry on like normal, as though your heart isn’t beating right out of your chest from that simple proximity.

because satoru, despite his generally icy look, is always warm; his body heat, his cheeks, the way he looks into your eyes all the time, even his fingertips when they brush against you.

you think he’s especially warm when he falls asleep beside you after watching a late night movie, his head nuzzled in your neck, hands somehow rested over your own. your favourite thing about the friendship, though, try as you might to deny it, is how satoru’s hands always find yours when he walks you home, fingers lacing around your own as if it’s second nature.

ever since then, these routines have become a staple, and perhaps even does your growing feelings. the inexplicable one.

2008; nineteen.

satoru was right.

both of you did get into the same university, and the same course, with different minors so at least there’s some differences. so of course, satoru did not let the shared apartment idea go. though, of course, thanks to your initial hesitance on the matter, the only available apartment is a 4-bedroom, entirely too big and hence you’d convinced satoru to just rent the other bedrooms out for extra change.

and no, satoru does not need extra change because his family’s loaded (which you realised you didn’t even know before this) but at least this would allow you to not dwell on whatever you’re feeling too much. university is going to be stressful enough without the added consideration of your possible feelings towards satoru.

then enters geto suguru—your new roommate who, thankfully, steals enough of satoru’s attention so you have some breathing room. turns out, they’re like two peas in a pod. but while you and satoru major in business, suguru majors in psych. so that still means satoru’s around just you most of the time.

some routines change; like how movie nights are shared amongst the three of you in the living room instead of just you and satoru in your room. or how during grocery runs satoru still runs up to you when he finds you again except this time, an exasperated suguru is beside you sighing at him, always a “how do you stand this guy?” rolling off his tongue. the most surprising one for you might be how meals include suguru now and satoru’s the one who does the cooking now, and funnily enough, he’s absolutely great at it. no ounce of hesitation as he flips the pancakes, or stirs the fried rice—no whining about how it’s too hard because he’ll get burns on his fingertips and has to ask you to tend to his wounds.

but some change in a different way. they leave no room for someone else, like how satoru always finds your hands to hold on to, keeping you within a reach too close to pass as just friends but both of you refusing to label it anything else anyways. it leaves no room for other people to butt in and whisk either of you away.

and for now, at least, both of you are okay with just that.

2009; twenty.

participating in different activities and clubs inevitably mean that you and satoru wouldn’t be attached at the hip most of the time. and of course, while that leads to satoru becoming even clingier when you’re both home (not that you’re complaining when it’s nice to feel wanted from the very guy you’re completely not having a crush on), both of you are in separate social circles.

satoru occasionally has his friends over, the ones you don’t really know that well. the one where you can only remember names like haibara because he’s extra friendly and yuki because she’s one of the prettiest people you’d ever seen and nori because she’s a mix of the two. you’re nice, and cordial to all of them, although you can’t really say the same for satoru.

occasionally you and suguru invite your friends over, because nicely enough, you both have the same interests. it’s mostly shoko and nanami, a med student and law student respectively, but both of which satoru loves to annoy to no end. lucky for you, shoko is strangely naturally tolerant of his antics and nanami shrugs it off as white noise.

“y/n, surely you’d rather spend time with me rather than that blondie?” satoru always asks, pouting as he looks at you over his shoulder during breakfast—a constant whenever you have plans that involve nanami.

it’s kind of cute.

“mmm, that’s a secret,” you’d always tell him, knowing that satoru’s pouts won’t last all day anyway. it’ll relegate to an excited grin whenever you’re back after that.

you’d never really had to face your feelings, then, until all of you gather one night, before the holidays officially start. you should’ve known that something would be different this time, especially when there’s alcohol involved. naturally, in the circle you sit in, satoru asks people to scoot over, purposely sitting beside you, as close as he can, close enough that your arms and knees practically brush.

it’s just for a simple game of truth or dare, and it’s innocent enough until someone asks nanami and he says truth, and his truth is that out of everyone he knows, he’d most likely date you. beside you, while everyone else is whooping at the declaration, satoru clicks his tongue in annoyance, though he says nothing about it. and you’re not really emphatic about it until someone dares nori to kiss the guy she wants to date the most and she kisses satoru, deep and slow, in front of you, haibara letting slip that she’s had a crush on satoru for a while now.

satoru’s five shots in and tipsy and he was imagining that was you and maybe that’s why it lasted for five seconds before he pulls away.

and when it comes to satoru?

as though noticing his dilemma, suguru gives an amused smile as he states his dare, “kiss the girl you most wanna marry.”

he doesn’t waste a single second in pulling you close and kissing you, his alcohol-tainted lips pressing against yours, daring tongue teasingly prying open your lips, chuckling as he feels you kiss him back.

“not most,” satoru corrects right as the both of you pull away, his forehead still pressed against yours and both of your half-lidded pair of eyes still staring at each other.

“what?” you’re almost breathless, forgetting that everyone else is watching.

“the only girl i wanna marry.” and you think he’s never looked more handsome, genuine smile plastered on his face and pretty blue eyes threatening to pull you in.

while everyone moves on, satoru doesn’t—he keeps you there with him, telling you for the first time in four years since he’s known you, “i love you.”

the next week, after you get home for the holidays, the first time being away from satoru in a while, you manage to find your old pencil case, the folded paper swan satoru folded for you all those years ago still inside, somehow forgotten.

curious, you finally open it, finding his message enclosed inside, bringing a smile to your face.

i’m gonna marry you one day.

2010; twenty-one.

dating satoru is like finding a new hobby that you’re effortlessly good at.

despite living under the same roof, instead of finding out the ugly, you find the good in each other. even with suguru in the mix, you all live harmoniously like you have been since the start. except now, satoru likes to sleep in your room, both of you fooling around and occasionally forcing suguru to tell you to pipe down.

satoru is still full of surprises, sometimes pulling up with his car as though both of you don’t sleep under the same roof, telling you that he planned a date and to dress nice. he buys you flowers even if you’re not particularly fancy of them and surprises you by buying things that simply reminded him of you.

dating satoru is like finding out that the right person for you will always think of you and your feelings, no matter the circumstance. the way he makes sure to tell you if he has to hang around nori, or the way he asks if you need anything when he passes by the grocery store alone, or going so far as to memorise your cycle so he knows exactly what to show up back home with.

by the time it’s your one-year anniversary and his birthday comes and you ask him what he wants, all he can answer is “you” and for the first time, you can tell he isn’t trying to be annoying or cheeky or flirty—satoru is surprisingly simple and his answer always has been and somehow always will be just you.

2013; twenty-four.

you still remember the day satoru got down on one knee, his handsome smile even more radiant under the golden hour glow, those still-beautiful blue eyes gleaming even from beneath his bangs.

just an intimate proposal with your closest friends, both shoko and suguru helping to distract you in order to create a successful surprise, while nanami and haibara helped with the decorations and photography.

thanks to them, you’re laughing now, at your wedding reception, looking at all the ways you nearly found them out that day, exactly one year ago, in the form of pictures. and thanks to the best man’s toast, you find out that suguru’s always known about satoru’s feelings, and just how deep his emotions for you ran.

“i won’t forget how much he whined about y/n getting close to nanami. that was probably the one time his whining got so out of control that i wanted to stuff a pillow over his face,” suguru divulges, garnering laughs around the hall, including from you, as your new husband pouts and squeezes your hand.

thanks to that, nanami finds the need to disclose during his speech, “i have never intended to date nor had such thoughts about y/n. my truth during that game of truth or dare was simply the result of a process of elimination—” and haibara cuts him off to give a more fitting speech, fits of laughter all across the room.

that day, you steal glances at satoru, wondering how you got so lucky to be with someone who loves you so much and continuously proves so with every passing day.

“satoru?” you call to him softly that night, as you both find yourselves completely bare in the bedroom of your new apartment, one to yourselves.

his piercing blue eyes flick up to meet yours, relishing how it feels like inside of you, every time as though it’s the first. “yeah?” it’s breathy, because he’s about to lose himself.

“i love you, satoru, and only you, forever and ever,” you tell him, finally knowing that in this life, it will always be gojo satoru for you, and that it’s the same for him too.

he only chuckles, pulling you close, “forever me and you, baby, only us.”

2023; present day.

“wow, more than ten years, i think i need to give you a trophy for that, y/n.”

satoru groans, rolling his eyes. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

beside him, suguru laughs at shoko’s comment. this time, the six of you find yourselves at a round table in a seafood restaurant during satoru’s birthday, talking about how it’s you and satoru’s tenth year together too.

“i’m not too much, am i?” satoru teasingly asks you, although you only shrug in amusement before drinking your glass of water as an excuse not to answer.

you’ve always been like that, but it’s part of what satoru likes about you. scratch that, he’s loved every part of you since he met you. it’s like it was meant to be; or so he likes to think. there’s an undeniable pull that always lulls him back to you. to satoru, there’s never been question that you’re the only one for him, maybe that’s why it’s so clear-cut.

“you’re just so head over heels for me, huh?” you ask him, a smug grin on your face, the conversational context something he’s missing since he’s been zoning out in his thoughts.

since the first time he saw you, he’s been drawn to you every second of every day. maybe that’s why he did all those stupid stuff like pretending not to be able to cook and ‘accidentally’ burning himself to get you to tend to him, or purposely pricking himself with the needle and asking you to put a plaster over it just to feel you close. even those times at the supermarket when he purposely loses you so he can find you again and see your helpless smile and feel the way you rub his head affectionately afterwards.

maybe it’s stupid too, how he had to silently admit he knows how to cook all too well because he didn’t want suguru to taste your cooking when he first moved in. it was something satoru felt he wanted to himself, something he wanted to keep between him and his future wife. or how a wordless stare between him and suguru during that game of truth or dare was all suguru needed to know that satoru wanted to make you his at that very second, afraid that kiss between him and nori would make you hesitant.

he shouldn’t have underestimated you though, because you know him better than most people do. there were never any pointless arguments or unrecoverable friction.

as they sing happy birthday annoyingly loud like best friends do, chanting for him to make a wish—his hands find yours again as they always did, he can honestly say that there’s no other way he’d rather live his life. you’re made for him and he has you and the little mini yous at home so really, there’s nothing that he has to wish for.

except, maybe, one thing, if he could be selfish.

in this life, and every other life, he’ll want to be with you and only you, forever.

#jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #jjk fluff #gojo satoru fluff #gojo fluff #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #૪ aeri’s fics !

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athenamikaelson · 3 months ago

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Klaus Mikaelson x Reader!Soulmate x Elijah Mikaelson PART 10

Word Count- 7.2k

Warnings- Swearing, blood, violence, death, Damon’s ass/Damon BEING an ass, shitty Google translate, spelling mistakes(I'm wayyy too tired to edit this rn)

A/N- some of this is not canon just because I love a character too much and she deserved better in the show.

“Are you just going to keep sulking in here,” I ask from my position in Damon’s doorway.

Damon answers me back with a loud groan mixed with what I believe to be a growl, “Tell me again why you’re here. And why I haven’t killed you yet?”

If I had just met Damon I would be scared of what he just asked me, but after these past weeks of knowing him, I’ve realized most of his threats are half-assed. So I just shrug and walk into his room.

“My mother and brother are away for the week visiting family, leaving me home alone. And, well, I don’t feel like having “he who shall not be named,” come and kill me in my sleep. And you haven’t killed me because you don’t want to. I’ve called you many bad names to your face, and yet I stand here, unharmed."

“Here you stand annoying the hell out of me. Again.”

I roll my eyes and sit on the edge of Damon’s bed. Damon still hasn’t moved from his position under the covers.

“Damon,” I turn over my shoulder to look at him and he lets out yet another groan to acknowledge he’s listening, “I’m going to be honest with you.”

“Nothing new there,” I hear him say under his breath sarcastically.

“You’re kind of embarrassing to watch right now,” I turn to see him fully glaring at me now, “You’re how old? Like five thousand years or something like that? It’s time you grew up.”

“Says the high schooler.”

“Says the man in love with a high schooler,” I bite back which has him shutting up momentarily.

“You don't know anything,” He says as he finally sits up in his bed. His white sheet falling down, revealing his naked chest. I quickly avert my eyes, not because I’m attracted to him but because seeing Damon half-naked would be like seeing my annoying ass distant cousin naked. No, thank you.

“Don’t bullshit me, Demon-spawn,” I point an accusing finger at him resulting in him glaring at me some more.

“I know you have feelings for Elena, everyone and their bloody mothers knows. And as much as I like Stefan, I also don’t think it should be something you need to feel bad for,” I think momentarily and tap my chin in thought, “Well, okay. Maybe a little bad because she’s 17 and you’re like 1,000 and she’s also your little brother’s girlfriend,” I catch Damon’s deadly look and stop rambling, “Moving along…What I’m trying to say is that we can’t control who we catch feelings for. And honestly, Elena’s pretty and nice as hell so I don’t blame you there. But what we can control is how we choose to express those feelings.”

Damon just stares blankly at me and I feel like I’d be better off giving a toddler this speech.

“What you’re doing right now, sulking and getting mad at everyone around you for something that is out of our control isn’t helping anyone. It’s only making things worse. Elena’s my best friend and I know she’s scared out of her mind right now but doesn’t want to say it because it'll cause more stress for the people she loves. What she needs right now is all of us. After tonight is over and Elijah’s elixir brings her back then you can go back to your hissy fits but right now,” I stand up and face him, planting my hands on my hips in a power pose, “You need to get your ass out of bed and get a fucking grip.”

Damon and I hold each other’s glares for a straight minute before he huffs, throws his blanket off of him, and gets out of bed. I have to fight a smirk as I get overly proud of my pep talk.

“I’m really starting to miss when it was just puke coming out of that mouth of yours,” Damon growls as he walks to the bathroom and pulls down his boxers without a second thought. My eyes fly out of my head as I get a full look at Damon’s white ass. I quickly turn around and gag.

“Dude! Seriously, warn a girl!”

---

“I don’t remember you being so…talky,” Damon’s voice yells from over the water of his shower.

I frown as I think about his comment and sit back down on the edge of his bed facing the front door and not the bathroom. Not wanting to get a face full of his behind again, or worse…ugh.

“I…don’t think I’ve ever been talky. There has never been a reason for me to be,” I say back to him not really caring if he hears or not.

A moment later I hear the shower water stop and his footsteps padding around behind me.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean,” Damon says from next to me and I slowly turn hoping he’s at least half decent.

Thankfully, he has covered his behind with jeans and is currently slipping a shirt over his chest.

I think about his question and then shrug my shoulders, “I’ve never really had friends to talk to, and whenever I had tried talking to people they just hadn’t cared. So I never really saw the point in talking.”

Damon stops fixing the buttons on his shirt momentarily to look at me. His eyebrows are drawn together and the look in his eyes isn’t one I think I’ve seen from him before. Something about it almost seems kind of…human. But within another second it’s gone and his lip upturns into a smirk.

“People are a waste of time anyway. The only good thing about them…,” He takes a step closer to me and leans down so he’s in my face, “Is there blood.”

I huff as I stand up and push past him heading towards the door, “And here I thought I could actually have a half-decent conversation with you. My mistake.”

I start walking through the halls toward the living room where Elena, Stefan, and Elijah are. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Damon catch up to me so we’re walking side by side.

“You’re kind of annoying,” He says and I have to fight the urge to not punch him.

“Gee, thanks,” I go to walk faster but he catches up to me again.

“What I mean is…,” He pauses for a moment trying to find his words, “You may be annoying but that doesn’t mean what you have to say is pointless or something that shouldn’t be heard. Screw anyone who tells you otherwise…or just kill them.”

I look at him with a confused look matching the confused feelings I now have, “Thank you? I think.”

“Don’t mention it,” He leans down and glares at me, “Seriously, I will kill you if you tell anyone what I just said.”

I suck on my teeth and then nod my head, “And there’s the Demon we all know and loathe.”

“Right, back at you, Pukey.”

I watch as Damon’s eyebrows furrow as we get closer to the living room and as we enter he speaks up, “Then why are we letting him break the curse?”

I follow Damon into the living room and see Elena and Stefan sitting together on a sofa and Elijah standing before them. Elijah’s eyes lock onto mine and I acknowledge him by sending him a small smile which he just returns with a nod. Okay, Rude.

“We can kill him today. With Bonnie,” Damon says and I realize we’re talking about him. At the mention of him, I begin to clench my fists as a surge of anger rises through me but stop myself since I don’t feel like accidentally cutting myself in a room of vampires. I take my seat on a loveseat next to Elena, who sends me a warm smile before turning towards Damon.

“No. Bonnie can’t use that much power without dying.”

“I’ll write her a great eulogy,” Damon’s words have me turning in my seat and glaring at him. So much for my speech getting to him.

“It’s not an option Damon,” You tell him, Elena.

Stefan sighs, “Alright, how do we break this curse?”

“Well, the ritual itself is relatively straightforward. The ingredients, so to speak you already know,” Elijah answers.

“The moonstone,” Stefan says.

“A witch will channel the power of the full moon to release the spell that’s bound within the stone. After that Klaus, being both a werewolf and a vampire, will sacrifice one of each.”

“And where do I fit into it,” Elena asks him.

“The final part of the ritual. Klaus must drink the blood of the doppelganger…to the point of your death.”

Elijah’s words have both Stefan and I taking deep breaths.

“And that’s where you come in.”

Elijah goes to the shelf behind him and opens a little wooden box, “This is an elixir that I acquired some 500 years ago for Katerina. It possesses the mystical properties of resuscitation.”

“So I’ll be dead..”

“And then you won’t.”

Damon the grouch speaks up, “That’s your plan? A magical witch potion with no expiration date,” He turns to Elena, “You want to come back to life, what…What about John’s ring?”

“Those rings only work on humans. The doppelganger is a supernatural occurrence. Odds are…the ring won’t work.”

“I’ll take those odds over your elixir. What if it doesn’t work Elena?”

“Then I guess I’ll just be dead.”

Damon shoots his brother a look, but knowing Stefan, he’ll go with whatever Elena wants. Even if he doesn’t agree. Damon realizes this too before shooting another glare at the group before leaving the living room back to where we originally came from.

“Do we know if Klaus has everything he needs to do this? Does he have a werewolf?”

“Klaus has been waiting over a thousand years to break this curse. If he doesn’t already have a werewolf my guess is by tonight, he will.”

—

I watch from my position on the couch as Stefan follows his brother outside. That’s going to be a fun conversation.

Elena approaches Elijah, “You’d think he’d understand why I’m willing to do this.”

“Why are you?”

“I’m the key to breaking the curse. Klaus is here because of me. If I don’t stop him, then he’s gonna hurt people. It’s that simple.”

I frown sadly to myself and fight back the watering that has started in my eyes. This isn’t fair. None of this is.

“You know, there’s a possibility this elixir won’t work. I don't want to mislead you.”

“I know the chance I’m taking.”

The tense atmosphere is broken by a door slamming shut and a woman yelling from the foyer.

“Jenna, Jenna!”

“Get out!”

I quickly rise from my seat and go to follow behind Elena to check on Jenna, but a hand grabs my own, pulling me back.

“Wait here,” Elijah’s stern voice says to me as he drops my hand and follows behind Elena. I watch his retreating figure and shake my head. Who tf does this guy think he’s talking to?

I run towards the foyer and freeze when I see Ric standing there. Or Klaus, I guess. My breathing gets faster and I’m debating on whether to swing on him or pass out.

“Jenna, put the cross-bow down, okay? It’s me.”

Stefan joins us and Elijah comes to stand in front of me, not before shooting me a disapproving look.

“What’s going on,” Elena asks the two adults.

“It’s me, Elena, I swear, okay? He let me go. Klaus let me go,” I frown at Ric’s words and look to Elijah to see if he can tell if Ric is telling the truth or not but his face is completely still.

“Prove it,” Damon who has now joined says.

“Okay, uh, the first night you and I spent together Jeremy walked in right when-”

“Ok! It’s him,” Jenna exclaims as she drops her weapon. Ew. Everyone in the room throws glances at each other before turning back towards Ric.

“Why did he let you go,” Stefan asks.

“He wanted me to deliver a message. The sacrifice happens tonight.”

—-

“Katherine was there,” Ric says from his position on the couch. We all moved back into the living room to keep discussing our plans for tonight.

“She’s under compulsion. Damon snuck her vervain but she can't leave until Klaus tells her she can.”

“Where is Damon,” Elena questions, and I get a bit unnerved. Not knowing where Damon is is not an ideal situation.

“I saw him go upstairs,” Jenna says.

Elena stands up and goes towards his room and I go to follow her but Elijah grabs my upper arm, “I need to speak with you,” I begin to argue back as he pulls me into the next room.

“Dude let go of me,” I hiss at him and he drops my arm and stares blankly at me.

“Do not dude me, Elskan,” Elijah says with that stupid monotone voice of his that makes me want to wrap my hands around his throat.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do Elijah,” I whisper yell to him so the others don’t overhear us, “And stop with that stupid nickname.”

Elijah narrows his eyes at me, “You are making it incredibly hard for me to protect you.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” I roll my eyes sarcastically, “I didn’t realize you actually cared, since you’ve been acting like you don't.”

Elijah’s narrowed eyes morph into ones of confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“Seriously! One second you’re making all these promises to protect me and being all nice and stuff and then the next moment you won’t even acknowledge my existence.”

“It would be impossible for me to not acknowledge your existence, Y/n. There is not a single moment where I am not searching for you. This situation,” He gestures between us, “Is not something I take lightly. And keeping you safe is now my most important mission in this life. So I apologize if I have hurt your feelings whilst doing that.”

I’m frozen as I listen to Elijah and he takes a single step towards me. He reaches his hand up and brushes a stray hair behind my ear.

“You have no idea how long I have waited for you,” His words have me frowning in confusion as he brushes his finger across my cheek, “But, I fear that if I let myself get too close then it will only put you in more danger and I would rather dagger myself before ever letting that happen.”

My chest and my brain don't seem to be working properly as I just stare wide-eyed at the man in front of me. I try to think of something, anything really to say but I can’t seem to get my mouth to form a sentence.

A loud bang comes from upstairs and Elijah gives me one more look before exiting. I feel like I’m on autopilot as I walk towards the noise, catching sight of Ric and Jenna running towards it as well. I make my way up to Damon’s room and gasp as I see Stefan with a very big piece of wood through his stomach. Ric tries to grab Damon but the ladder pushes him off him before walking out of the room.

“Okay, Jenna, downstairs in the basement are some blood bags,” Ric tells Jenna who is standing in front of me, “Go get them, now. Go!”

Jenna leaves as Elena rips the wood out of Stefan. I walk over and kneel next to them as Elena holds and tries to comfort her hurt boyfriend.

“I’m so sorry,” Stefan groans out.

I frown, confused, “Why is he sorry? He’s the one who got stabbed?”

I’m ignored for a moment as Elena shushes Stefan until he passes out and with tearful eyes, she looks over to me, “Damon he…he fed me his blood. Y/n, I don’t want to be a vampire”

'My chest practically caves in on itself as I hear my friend's small sobs and shake my head in denial, “No…no. There has to be another way. There has to be Elena,” I stand up and look at her once more, “You’re not going to be a vampire.”

—

I storm through the halls and down the stairs until I see Damon in the living room pouring himself a glass of whatever alcohol he has on hand. That anger from before rises at the idea of what he just did.

“You selfish bastard,” I storm over to him and I see Elijah try to stop me from the corner of my eye, only to receive my hand in his face. And as Damon turns around to look at me he receives my fist in his face.

Damon hisses as my fist flies across his cheekbone and I fight back tears at the pain in my knuckles. I’ve never thrown a punch before but I didn’t realize it would hurt this much. Jesus.

Damon looks back at me as if my punch did nothing to him, which it probably didn’t and I expect him to charge at me, and I’m assuming Elijah does as well because he moves next to me. But all Damon does is stare at me, raise his glass to his lips, downs it, and then exits the living room.

“You’ve never thrown a punch before have you,” Elijah’s voice has me turning my gaze over to him.

I look at him sheepishly, “Is it that obvious?”

Elijah stares at me and from his face I think he's trying to debate whether to be amused by me or scold me, “A bit, but I applaud you for the effort,” Elijah’s eyes dart towards my hurting hand and he picks it up with his own and inspects it.

“You’ll have some bruising but thankfully there appears to be no breakage.”

I let out a pained hiss as one of his fingers brushed against my middle knuckle. He instantly stops and looks at me.

“I can heal you if you’d like,” He asks me and I remember back to when he healed me the first time. It feels like another lifetime ago.

“I’ll be fine,” I dismiss him and he nods but doesn’t drop my hand. He does reach his other hand up and uses his thumb to wipe a stray tear off my cheek.

“I’m sorry about Elena,” I quickly remember why I punched Damon in the first place and go to question about the elixir but he shakes his head as if he already knows what I’m thinking, “It won’t work any longer. Damon made sure of that when he fed her his blood. When Elena dies she’ll wake up as a vampire."

I shake my head in denial and feel the tears reach my eyes again, “No... Elijah. There has to be another way! Please tell me there’s another way.”

Elijah’s features form to one of sorrow as if he can feel the pain I’m in, “I’m sorry, Elskan. I truly am.”

I shake my head and bite down hard on my lip to try to stop my tears. Elijah reaches up his hand though and frees my bottom lip from my teeth with his thumb.

“Come here,” Elijah says as he pulls me into him and wraps his arms around my body. The smell of something masculine, almost smoky, surrounds me as he rests his chin on my head. After everything that has happened, if I were to die like this in his embrace, I don’t think I would regret it.

—

I wipe the remnants of my smeared mascara as I look at myself in my car mirror. After Elijah left the Salvatore’s saying he had some loose ends to clean up before tonight and to not get myself into any more trouble, I went to check on Elena.

She hugged me for about ten minutes straight and I just rubbed her back as she cried into my shoulder. And I may or may not have cried along with her, feeling heartbroken for my friend.

Elena and Stefan then left together to go spend her last day as a human together, which is as bittersweet as it is heartbreaking. And after bidding Jenna and Ric a goodbye I found myself driving to the Mystic Grill. That’s why I am now sitting in it’s parking lot trying to collect myself and trying to keep myself busy for what is to happen tonight.

I open my car door and hold my bruised hand tentatively as I push through the front door to the Grill. I had seen a “Help Wanted,” sign here the other day and if I hopefully survive the night I’ll need a job for the summer. Not being a trust fund baby really sucks ass sometimes.

Matt Donovan sends me a warm smile as I walk past him. I'd never really talked to the guy other than the few times in class where he’d ask to borrow a pencil or if I could help him with some math equation, but he always seemed sweet. Unlike the stupid jock stereotype, I’ve gotten used to seeing in this town. After being told by Elena what happened to his sister and that now he lives by himself as a 17-year-old because his mom’s a deadbeat, I feel bad for the guy.

I let out a low groan as I stop my walk towards the bar which is currently occupied by the demon overlord himself. I debate to myself if I should just turn around, but a hand on my shoulder shocks me.

Ric stands there with his hands raised up in apology, “My bad Y/N. Didn’t mean to scare you. Just wanted to check on you and see how you’re doing.”

I look at Ric and sigh, “I’m just glad you’re you again.”

Ric nods his head in agreement, “Ya, me too. I didn’t hurt you while I was Klaus right?”

I shake my head, “No Ric, and even if you did it wouldn’t have been your fault. You had no control over yourself.”

Ric sends me a warm smile and nods, “I feel kind of violated, to be honest.”

I snort at his joke, “I don’t blame you.”

“I need a drink,” Ric says as he walks with me up towards the bar and my knuckles start to burn as I stare at the hair on the back of Demon’s head.

“I’ll have the same as him,” Ric says to the waiter as he sits on Damon’s right and I sit down on his left. The waiter then looks at me for my drink order, “A Shirley Temple, please. And a job application?”

The waiter, a half-decent-looking man, smirks as he pulls out a pad of papers from behind the bar and hands them to me before going back to making drinks.

“Job searching, Pukey,” Damon asks from beside me and I stare forward not looking at him.

“Ric,” I call to him and he turns to look at me, “If Damon’s here who do you think is guarding the gates of hell?”

Rics snorts out a deep laugh and I can see Damon scowling from beside me. The waiter comes back and gives Ric his bourbon and me my Shirley Temple. I accidentally grab it with my injured hand and try to cover the hiss I let out, with a cough.

“How’s your hand,” Damon asks from next to me. I’m surprised that his voice doesn’t sound completely sarcastic.

I turn and glare at him, “How’s your face?”

Damon sends me a smirk and gestures to his unmarked face, “Perfect.”

I roll my eyes and take a sip of my Shirley Temple ignoring whatever the two men next to me are talking about. That is until a voice that has my heart doing a fucking backflip in my chest calls from behind us.

“Gentlemen? Why so glum,” A deep British voice asks and I could’ve sworn goosebumps went up my arms at the sound. What the fuck?

All three of us turn to match the voice to the face and…Holy shit.

A tall dark-blond man stands about a foot length from me. At this distance, I can see the different shades of blue in his eyes and the small freckles that decorate his perfect nose.

I hear Damon groan from behind me and I’m not sure why as I’m too busy ogling the pretty man before me.

“Klaus, I presume.”

I blink. And then I blink again. And then once more as I’m frozen staring at Klaus. The Shirley Temple in my hands starts to shake as I can’t take my eyes off the man.

“In the flesh. Thanks for the loner, mate,” Klaus smirks at Ric and if I wasn’t in total shock right now I’d defend him. But the man I’ve thought of killing for the past week is standing right in front of me and I was counting how many fucking freckles I could see on his goddamned nose. There’s thirteen.

Shut tf up Y/n?!

Klaus hasn’t looked my way once and although I should be glad about that a part of my lower stomach drops at the fact.

Damon stands from his seat and goes to face the man, “Any reason you stopped by to say hi?”

“I’m told you and your brother fancy my doppelganger. Just thought I’d remind you not to do anything you’ll regret,” Klaus’ warning doesn’t seem to sway Damon as the ladder lets out a laugh.

“Thanks for the advice. I don’t supposed I could talk you into a postponement by any chance, huh?”

Klaus lets out a chuckle and I swear my heart just skipped a beat. What the fuck Y/n?!?!??

“You are kidding,” Klaus asks and then turns to Ric, “He is kidding, right?”

“No, not really.”

“I mean, come on, what’s one month in the whole grand scheme of things,” Damon asks and I realize that he’s doing this because he doesn’t want Elena to die with vampire blood in her system.

“Ya, I mean one month is like,” I pretend to count on my fingers, “Like thirty days. I don’t see why you can’t wait that long. You’ve already waited over a thousand years, what’s thirty days?”

I ask the man and this finally has Klaus acknowledging my presence. But honestly, from the way he’s looking at me, I wish I would’ve kept quiet. His eyebrows are drawn together and his lips curve upwards into what I hope isn’t a snarl. Damon must’ve noticed the look too because he moves in front of me blocking me from Klaus’ vision and him from mine.

“Let me be clear,” I hear Klaus’ deep voice say, “I have my vampire, I have my werewolf. I have everything I need. The ritual will happen tonight. So if you want to live to see tomorrow don’t screw it up.”

I catch sight of Klaus’ back as he strolls away.

“Would I be a bad person to say I kind of hope his werewolf was the Jules’ chick,” I see Ric shoot me an “Are you serious” look and I shrug, “Hey, she was the one who tortured me. I still got the little knife scare on my leg to prove it.”

Damon doesn’t say anything as he sits back down and sighs.

“You’re gonna screw it up, aren’t you?”

“You think if I took his werewolf out of the equation she might…get over the fact that I tried to turn her into a vampire?”

“Nope,” I say popping the p.

“I think it won’t matter, because you’ll be dead.”

“But without the werewolf he can’t preform the ritual tonight which means I would have bought her one month before the next full moon.”

Ric shakes his head, “But you’ll still be dead.”

Damon leans into him, “Are you gonna help me or what?”

Ric looks at him for a moment, “What do you want me to do?”

I slurp up the rest of my drink, throw a five onto the counter, and jump up as the two men next to me watch me wearily.

“Alright gentlemen, dream team time!”

Ric raises an eyebrow while Damon shoots me a look of disgust, “I don’t know what the hell that was, but you’re not coming along.”

I frown as I grab my application and follow behind the two men, “Why the hell not? I want to help.”

Damon whips around to me, “Look kid, not happening. There’s already too much shit going down and I can’t be babysitting you, making sure you don’t get killed on my watch. So go back home and we’ll see you tonight. Capiche?”

Damon turns back around and walks to his car. Ric sends me one last smile and a shrug of his shoulders before following behind. I watch the two men drive off and I sigh as I stand in the middle of the parking lot. Anger and sadness building in me, when I realize just how useless I truly am.

—

I try to give Elijah a smile as he opens the SUV door for me. But with the mood I’m in I think the smile comes out more like a frown than anything else. Elijah must notice this too as he reaches his hand out for me to take. I debate it for a moment, 1. Not being a big fan of PDA, and 2. Stefan and Ric are with us and I don’t want them to be angry with me. But then I remember that my best friend is going to die tonight so a little PDA isn’t that huge in the grand scheme of things.

Elijah seems elated as I place my hand in his and he guides Stefan and I through the woods toward the creepy ass witch house where Bonnie, Jeremy, and Ric are.

“The sacrifice is completed in stages as the full moon sets,” Elijah explains to us. I feel his hand squeeze mine in comfort and I squeeze his back, “First the werewolf is killed, then the vampire’ and finally the doppelganger. Once Elena dies, the curse will be broken. Klaus will become a hybrid.”

Stefan comes to walk next to us. His eyes go down to Elijah and I’s intertwined hands briefly before looking back up to me. When I send him a weary smile, he sends me a small one in return calming down my nerves.

“So when do we attack,” Ric asks from behind us.

“Elena’s death will activate his dormant werewolf side. He’ll be vulnerable during the transformation. That’s when Bonnie comes in.”

“And you’re sure Bonnie will survive this,” Stefan asks and I’m thankful at least one of the Salvatore brothers has a heart.

“If she can deliver him to the brink of death I’ll finish the job myself.”

Stefan and Ric nod.

“Could I talk to Elijah for a moment,” I ask the two men who share a look before nodding and moving towards the house.

Elijah turns towards me, “What is wrong, Elskan?”

“Are you going to be able to do it?”

Elijah frowns and shakes his head, “What do you mean?”

“Elijah you’re going to be killing your brother. I know siblings are a pain in the ass,” I think back to Theo and thank whatever higher being is out there that he left town this week, “but even when you hate them…you still love them. I’m not judging you for what you have to do. I’m just asking, are you ready for what you’re about to do?”

Elijah’s face is solemn as he processes what I asked, “Klaus wasn’t my only sibling,” I frown as he continues, “There once was a time when we were all together. But Klaus ruined that when he dumped their bodies in the middle of the Pacific.”

I let out a strangled gasp at Elijah’s confession. His pain evident on his face.

“Elijah…I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Elijah steps forward and holds the side of my face with his free hand, “You’re so good. So…pure. I didn’t want to strangle out the light you have inside you with my demons.”

“Elijah, you’re not the only one with skeletons in their closet. Trust me. But I want you to be honest with me. I need you to be. If this,” I gesture between us, “whatever this is. Is going to work. I’d never judge you. I know sometimes I can be a lot but that doesn’t mean I don’t anything but happiness for you. I don’t know what this means but you make me feel something I’d never felt with another human being.”

Elijah stares at me and something in his eyes tugs at my chest, “What is that?”

“Safe. You make me feel safe, Elijah. And I know I’m not some supernatural immortal and I can’t throw a punch to save my life. But, I want to make you feel that way too. However, I can.”

I start to get embarrassed as Elijah stares at me silently and I really wish I would’ve just kept my mouth closed.

“ᛁ ᚹᚨᛚᛚ ᛚᛟᚡᛖ ᛇᚢ ᚢᚾᛏᛁᛚ ᚦᛖ ᛋᚢᚾ ᛖᛗᛈᛚᛟᛞᛖᛋ, ᚦᛖ ᛟᚲᛖᚨᚾᛋ ᛞᚱᛁ ᚢᛈ, ᚺᚢᛗᚨᚾ ᛚᛁᚠᛖ ᚺᚨᛋ ᛚᛟᚾᚷ ᛋᛖᚾᚲᛖ ᚷᛟᚾᛖ ᚨᚾᛞ ᛁ ᚨᛗ ᚾᛟᛏᚺᛁᚾᚷ ᛒᚢᛏ ᛗᚣ ᛋᛟᚢᛚ. ᛒᚢᛏ ᛖᚡᛖᚾ ᛏᚺᛖᚾ ᛁ ᚹᛁᛚᛚ ᛋᛏᛁᛚᛚ ᛒᛖᛚᛟᚾᚷ ᛏᛟ ᚢ. ᛖᚡᛖᚱᚢᛏᚦᛁᚾᚷ ᛁ ᚨᛗ ᛁᛊ ᚢ,” Elijah says in some old language I can’t place.

“What exactly did you just say to me,” I ask, expecting the worst.

Elijah smiles and places a kiss on my temple, “I feel safe with you as well, Elskan.”

“I’m going now,” Stefan interrupts us and I move away from Elijah shocked.

The sense of warmth and peace I just had completely washed away as soon as those words left Stefan’s mouth.

“You should get inside Y/N. Bonnie needs you,” Stefan says to me making me frown. But I nod as I walk through the threshold of the house. Elijah follows me as I stand next to Ric. After a moment Bonnie and Damon walk up the basement stairs and out the front door. I frown as Ric and I follow them and Elijah squeezes my hand once more before dropping it as he passes through the threshold. Ric and I are pushed back though.

“What the hell?”

Ric yells from next to me, “Bonnie! What is this?”

Bonnie turns back towards us, “I can’t put anyone else at risk. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t do this! What if he goes after Jenna,” Ric asks angry.

“Jenna safe locked in at the Salvatore’s.”

“Damon?”

Damon sends us a look, “Sorry buddy. She’s right.”

I look to Elijah for help but from the look on his face he doesn’t seem surprised.

“You knew.”

Elijah turns to me one last time, “I meant what I said about protecting you. If I have to kill my brother to do that, I will. I’m sorry, Elskan. I will see you soon.”

I watch silently, as he turns his back on me and disappears into the woods. So much for trust.

—-

I watch as my history teacher paces in front of me. Jeremy’s unconscious body lay on the couch next to me and Elena's estranged bald father who looks like Charlie Brown watches us wearily. If you had told me I’d be in this situation a month ago I would’ve called you crazy and set up an appointment for you with my therapist mother. But here I am. Yippee.

I stand up, and both of the grown men watch me, “Just using the bathroom. Wait…Does this place even have a bathroom,” I ask but groan when I get no answer. I’m about to make my way out of the room when a piercing pain slices through my chest.

It only takes one scream from my lips before Ric is at my side. His mouth is moving but the sheer pain I’m experiencing makes it so I can’t process his words. I watch with teary eyes and sobs coming out of my mouth as Ric lifts his hand from my chest and his eyes widen. The crimson liquid coating his hand is the last thing I see before the world goes black.

—

3rd Person POV-

Bonnie screams out her spell as she crushes Klaus’s body. Fire burns around them as the once powerful Original lay in agonising pain. From the shadows, Elijah stalks towards his younger brother.

Elijah stands above him. A mask of anger covers his face as he leans down to stare at the man he once called a brother and a friend.

“Elijah?”

Klaus stares up at the man he once saw as his protector, and for the first time in centuries, Klaus feels true fear.

“Hello, brother.”

Stefan and Bonnie watch from afar as Elijah plunges his arm into his brother’s chest. Wrapping his hand around his still-beating heart.

“In the name of our family…Niklaus…”

“I didn’t bury them at sea,” Klaus’ desperate voice halts Elijah momentarily before shaking off what he believes to be a trick.

“I know about Y/n,” Those four words have Elijah pausing, “I know what she is to you. And I know she's the same to me.”

The hand that was once clenched around Klaus’ heart slacks as Elijah stares at his brother in horror.

“You’re lying,” Elijah snarls.

Klaus shakes his head, “I wish I was, brother. But I’m not. And if you kill me what do you think will happen to her. Are you really going to take that risk?”

Elijah’s once cool face breaks and turns into one of horror as he looks at his hand that is in his brother’s chest.

Stefan noticing this lapse of judgement speaks up, “Elijah, don’t listen to him.”

“Elijah,” Klaus says, “Think of her.”

“Do it and I’ll take you both out,” The Bennet witch threatens.

Elijah looks up to her, “You’ll die.”

“I don’t care.”

Stefan and Bonnie watch in horror as Elijah speeds himself and his brother out of the flames and into the night, leaving only silence and heartbreak.

—

“Why are we going to this again,” My brother asks from the hallway outside my room as I fix my black dress in my mirror. My hands freeze for a moment as they land on the spot on my chest that was bleeding just the night before.

-Flashback-

I woke with a gasp and before I could get a second to breathe I felt someone grasp my shoulders into a hug.

“You’ve really got to stop freaking me out like this,” A soft voice says into my ear.

I pull back and my eyes widen to see Elena with glossy eyes staring back at me.

I shake my head confused, “What happened? Did the ritual happen? Who died? Are you a…,” I pause before finishing my last question.

Elena sends me a smile and shakes her head, “They found another way.”

I feel a smile break out onto my face and I go to sit up to hug her but a sharp pain in my chest stops me.

“Don’t move ok. Just lay still,” Elena coaxes me back onto the coach I’m lying on.

“What happened?”

-End of Flashback-

In Elena and Ric’s spark notes version of the night, about 20 minutes after Stefan, Bonnie, and, Elijah left for the ritual I fell down to the ground in pain, screaming and yelling, and when Ric went to check on me I had blood spilling from my chest. Right above where my heart is. Ric said there was so much blood he couldn’t find where it was coming from but after holding pressure on it for another ten minutes the bleeding had stopped and when he moved his hands from my chest I had no wounds that showed I had been wounded.

Alaric told me he was surprised that I was still breathing after losing the blood that I did. He also told me that while I was unconscious he found Damon slipping me some of my blood. And if I wasn’t as sore as I was I’d have bitched him out. I’ll just put that on the back burner for now. As well as figuring out what the hell is wrong with me. Bonnie said she couldn’t feel any spells or curses on me so at least that’s a plus. I guess. Also, I haven’t seen Elijah in over a day. Honestly, I don’t know if I could face him right now anyway. I’m pissed that he betrayed us, but there’s a part of me that is happy he didn’t kill his brother. A part I’m not telling the public because right now I’m off to a funeral for Elena’s dad who did die.

Elena told me he had Bonnie do some spell that switched his life for hers. And as much as I disliked the guy, I got to give it to him he showed up in the end. RIP Charlie Brown.

“We’re going because Elena’s my friend and her dad died, Theo. Try to not be an asshole for the afternoon please,” I say as I meet my brother at the front door of our house. My mother and he came back early last night because she had to get home for some work thing. Typical. But that also means I get to be with Theo for the day and after almost dying yesterday, I realized that I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to say goodbye to him, and today could’ve been my funeral he’d be going to. A chill runs down my spine at the thought and I fight back a set of tears.

“Okay, I promise. I’m sorry,” Theo says as he notices a tear fall down my face.

I smile at my little brother and pull him into a hug.

“I knew you missed me,” I can hear the smirk in his voice as I laugh into his suit jacket.

“Ya, whatever loser let’s go.”

—

I watch with tear-filled eyes as Elena places a rose on her biological father’s grave and then walks over to her parent's matching graves and places roses on them. Theo stands next to me with a solemn expression on his face, Jeremy is next to him, Bonnie, Caroline, and Tyler stand behind us, and Jenna is on my left as she holds Ric’s hand. I turn to look over my shoulder and I catch Damon’s eye as he stands against a tree. And for the first time ever I almost swore he smiled at me. Damn, maybe he’s dying too.

—

“I’ll be in the car,” Theo says to me and begins to walk away but not before bringing Jeremy in for a bro hug. I watch as my brother safely gets to the car and then I begin to walk over to Elena but see her already crowded with our friends. My gaze goes towards Damon who stands facing the graveyard and I frown.

“I have a bone to pick with you. You can’t just go and put blood into people’s mouths while they’re-” I say as I approach him.

“I’m happy you’re ok, Y/N.”

Damon’s interruption and the sincerity in his voice make me halt as I approach him.

“Wait…I think I’m hallucinating because I could’ve sworn you just called me by my actual name,” I walk up to him and jokingly smirk, “You dying or something?”

“Tyler Lockwood bit me.”

Oh. Fuck.

Translation-

“I will love you until the sun explodes, the oceans dry up, human life has long since gone and I am nothing but my soul. But even then I will still belong to you. Everything I am is you.”

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vasquez-rocks · 6 months ago

Text

i know most ppl haven’t seen it yet but wanted to write something abt how annoyed some of the critical discourse abt I Saw the TV Glow is making me. MAJOR SPOILERS below the break, be warned!!

so idk i’ve seen so many reviews of the film positing that it’s about the dangers of obsessive fandom and overidentification with fictional characters, esp vis a vis real life self-actualization/coming out. (like, essentially every review has some of this in it, from what i’ve seen.) and, like: i don’t think that’s wrong, but i also think it’s massively underselling what schoenbrun is doing here. the metaphor of the show’s bleed-over is so smart because works in both directions at once.

like, in one direction: when maddy asks owen to come into the show by burying himself alive, you can read it as her asking him to abandon his real-life responsibilities, and the material facts of his real life body, in favor of a fantasy life where everything is already fixed. she’s inviting him to skip over the hard, messy work of transitioning and to sink even deeper into the analgesic obsessions he uses to numb his dysphoria. in this interpretation, it’s, like, the equivalent of overprioritizing “transition goals” instead of actually medically/legally/socially transitioning if that’s what you want, living forever in the ideal instead of taking difficult steps to change the material. (also, uh, if you don’t think she’s literally correct about the nature of reality, she is in fact asking him to kill himself. there’s that.)

BUT! it also works the other way. when maddy tells owen that the show is real, that their lives are just the buried dreams of dying girls in another life, she terrifies him by confronting him with something he’s always known about himself: he was supposed to be a girl. what she proposes is radical, dangerous, seemingly unhinged, and based on a childish fixation: all the things scared closeted trans people worry transition is, basically. on a more figurative level, too, the feeling she’s telling owen is real – that his real life is just a dream within a dream, that his home is not his home, that he belongs somewhere else, that he is supposed to be SOMEONE else – is something so, so, so many closeted trans people have felt before, myself so much included. when he sobs in the shower, yelling “this isn’t my home!” at his dad, i felt a sense of identification stronger than i’ve almost ever gotten from art before. when maddy finally calls him isabel, it’s the gentlest thing i can imagine.

in this read – which i do love, while thinking the other one is simultaneously true – it’s less “come sink deeper into delusion with me instead of dealing with your own life” and more “it’s going to be terrifying, but that childish dream of being a girl you once held wasn’t childish, and it can be real if you’re courageous enough.” he says he runs away from the football field because he thinks maddy’s not mentally well; it takes very little analysis of subtext to figure out he’s running away because he’s afraid of how much he wants what she’s offering. and, of course, the idea of the visible world being an illusion laid atop the world in which one is one’s truest self is a classic trope of trans cinema going all the way back to the matrix. (also: while i’m pretty death-of-the-author-pilled in most media analysis, it kinda seems like schoenbrun themself has interpreted the film in this way, as they’ve spoken at length in interviews about how, to them, transition felt like asking to be buried alive.)

all of which is to say: i think the film IS commenting on fandom, obsession, overidentification, and the ease with which queer people can sink into art as a way to dissociate from real life. but i think it makes the film so much more cynical and so much less tender to treat it as the ONLY read of the film’s relationship with the pink opaque. art, especially the sort of slow, metaphor-laden art schoenbrun makes, is best when it is complex and productively contradictory. the pink opaque is a problem, and an escape, and a fantasy, and it’s real, and one day isabel is going to wake up.

#i saw the tv glow

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donutz · 3 months ago

Note

sebastian with a reader who gives him a ton of resources and asks if they can buy a kiss from him O-O

Buying a kiss from Sebastian

You aren't that delusional right?

— A big ol smooch. Mwah. Delicious fishy skin oh so yummy.

Warning: Shy reader, but not the stereotypical 'Y/N'; Stutters, I'm sorry I'll try to make it realistic; THIS IS NOT A BIG DADDY AND SHY Y/N TROPE.; Sorry I just wanted to warn you; I don't use Y/N anyways, I use Reader as if there's a difference😎; There's no kiss on the lips☹️; Buttt there's a teasing Sebastian; 'Bad' words; Non-human reader, they just have the ear fins; They have green-like skin with four yellow eyes! Two fakes ones underneath their original ones; They also can disguise as a human

After dying over and over again, you became acquainted with Sebastian. You saw him in the shop and even saw him when you were dead. You’re not sure on how the dying thing works but…

It doesn’t really matter as long as you get to see Sebastian.

You’ve gained feelings for him, even though he isn’t very.. Human. His little insults can be annoying but I guess it’s um. Reasonable? Yeah that’s something you don’t enjoy all that much.

But his voice and his tone is something that you like. You may have a strange taste but who doesn’t like a 10 ft tall man that has aquatic features?

… Probably every other normal person…

But some mermen can be attractive! You feel like a little kid crushing on cartoons.

Sebastian seems very closed off and distant from humans. Maybe because humans are the reason he’s this way?

That’s understandable.

I don’t think I would like humans at all if I looked like that either. It’s not like he’s ugly it’s just… It seems like he was human before being that way.

Anyways

Maybe since he doesn’t seem okay with other forms of affection— You could get him a gift! It’s unexpected, can be taken as platonic, and a way to get closer to somebody! Perfect!

Though what should you get him?

Hmm…

You don’t know any of his likes, favorites, nothing really.

Oh!

But he has a shop!

You could uhh. Give him some items for his shop!

And then…

Ask for a kiss!

… Is that too forward? Well he might like you back!

He might… Like you back..

He doesn’t really give many hints on his feelings towards love. Especially towards you, minus the lessened amounts of insults he throws at you.

Oh that could be a hint! He stutters sometimes too! But he did that before he truly knew you…

Ugh, too many ellipses.

Oh sorry I didn’t mean to break the 4th wall.

Agh hem.

As the loop starts again, you decided that the gift could be items. Items to give so he can hold it for his shop. Then a smooch!

A smooch?

Yeah a kiss. Totally. He’ll definitely give you a kiss with those… Rubber… Lips…

Okay maybe a kiss on the hand can suffice.

Exiting the submarine you prepare to give Sebastian a ton of items in return for a kiss!

Are you really that delusional?

Yes!

You end up finding flash beacons, flashlights, medkits— Actually maybe you should keep that one.

Y’know, just incase a good pers—

… Mmm…

People?

Just in case good people pops up.

Hate that thing.

Oh wow a lantern.

When it comes to the monsters and just being in this place in general, it’s like your whole personality switches.

When it comes to Sebastian you’ll be all shy. But when it comes to just Urbanshade, its creatures, and Hadal Blacksite… You’re more mad and irritated.

Sometimes you even say bad words at the creatures.

Oooo.

Saying bad words even though you’re a grown adult.

How, “NO YOU CAN’T SAY THAT”!!

Y’know?

When people infantilize shy characters?

Y’know?

☹️

You get pretty close to door fifty, having many helpful sources to give to that— man…

You hear an expected voice..(Oh how spooky)

“Hey. Come here”.

You look at an invisible camera pulling off that— Roblox man face or something- I don’t– I don’t know.

Speed walking over there in excitement, you hold a smile on your face. Your beautiful smile lines showing.

Damn, you really like him huh?

You crawl through the vents waiting with anticipation. Possible praise? Or even a smile?

You can’t wait.

Reaching the end of the vent, you immediately look up, bumping your head. It’s a good thing you have that head gear. You might’ve gotten a traumatic brain injury and five dollars.

… What.

A- Anways, you rub your head looking down.

“Oh damn. Well based on that head bump I already know who it is. Hello my favorite prisoner”.

“Hey Sebastian, yeah you’re so funny. Making fun of my h- head bump. Die”.

“Hey buddy I was justt messing arounddd”.

“M-hm- Mhm.” You let out pained noises. Getting out from the vent, you stretch out your limbs. Hearing a few pops

“Eww… Yuck, I hate those sounds.” Sebastian commented.

“Yeah they’re kinda weird about humans”.

“They suree areee”…

After a few seconds of silence, Sebastian speaks up.

“Soo, you gonna buy anything”?

“W- Well maybe, I– shiver, I actually have some gi- gifts for you.” Clearing your throat you physically cringe at the stuttering. It makes you seem.. I don’t know.. Fanfic material or something.

“Gifts”?

“Yea! Gifts.. T- To show you my um… G- Gratitude for- sigh, for giving me those items”.

He chuckled, “It’s not like I give you them for free or anything”.

“Yeah but sometimes you give me discounts”.

“Oh yeah huh”?

“So I— I wanted to give these to you, S- Sebastian”..

“You’re very stuttery today aren’t you”?

You look up at him while getting the things out of your bag.

You let out a shivery laugh, “Y- Yeah, I’ve never really um.. Given someone gifts before a- and it’s.. Spooky– down here”.

Sebastian could tell that was an excuse.

I know that was an excuse, it’s obvious you’re this way because of your little crush or something.

You hand Sebastian the items, his two claws engulfing yours. You wish these stupidly thick gloves were off your hands so you could actually feel his claws.

“And shaky”.

“Oh! Um”..

“You sure you’re okay?” He asks with concern. Putting away the items, he’s not sure why he even asked.

“Yeah I’m okay! It’s just um. Th- Those aren’t f- free.” Even with the small amount of built confidence, you were still very nervous.

“Oh of course they’re not. What is it? Do I have to give you some data or something? If you’re asking for cash then–”

“N- No”!

He’s surprised by the sudden and yippy-like voice.

“I uh, I don’t want data or cash”.

“... So, what do you want”?

“A. A uhm. Uh”.

“C’mon spit it out already”!

“A kiss!! Yeah a small kiss or something”..

Oh yes I love awkward moments, what about you?

“A kiss?” Sebastian repeats.

You nod, not even being able to speak right now. You’re looking at the ground with hands together and thumbs rubbing against the hard leather. If you weren’t sweating you definitely would be now.

“Y’know it would’ve made more sense if you said that before giving me the items”?

“Sebastian I’m serious”!

“Okay okay, yes you can have your kiss”.

You look up quickly, a quiet crack in your neck from turning it so fast.

You may think that you’re blushy and flustered one right now. Well that’s correct, if you can even blush.

Buttt you’re not the only one with a rapidly beating heart.

Sebastian’s trying to hide it, to not seem all vulnerable in front of somebody. Not just a human. Showing that you’re vulnerable is a sign of, I guess.. Weakness.

“But how can you even kiss me with that diving helmet”?

Oh yeah you forgot about that.

“O- Oh, yeah uhm- let me take care of that”.

That sentence peaks his interest, if you were to take that off then he’s sure your head would pop.

“W- Wait I was just joking—!” He reaches out to you to stop you, putting his right claw over your head gear.

Even though you’d be just fine with the pressure, you were shocked he even stopped you.

“Oh uhm. Sebastian. I’m not fully human, I can handle the pressure with or without the gear”.

Whattt??

His face scrunches with confusion and shock, stunned.

You take off the head gear, but don’t worry, you’ve managed to disable that explosion thing. Just temporarily, they haven’t noticed yet.

You hold your gear in your hand, looking up at Sebastian.

You smile, showing off your yellowish, blueish teeth. Your ear fins sway slightly, up and down.

“Yeah I’m not really uhh, human. Fully anyways.” You set your gear on the ground—

“A- And I’ve taken care of that blowing up device. S- So don’t worry”.

God he reallyyy hopes that nobody walks in right now.

“Th- They can’t hear me either so, I’ll be fine temporarily. I’ll soon have to turn it all back on so they don’t suspect anything”.

Wow.

He thought you were kinda dumb to add onto your shy personality.

Damn.

That’s um.

Surprising.

You can feel his stare on you. It’s not very uhh, it’s not a good feeling.

You look back up at him, putting a hand over your forehead as if it were a visor.

“Do I not look good or-”

“N- No! That’s not why I’m staring. It’s just.. Surprising. I couldn’t really get any hints on how you weren’t a human”.

“Ah, well that was on purpose actually. I- I’m not sure if you really do scents but– I gave myself a more human scent and covered up the dark green skin with a more human one”.

Woww, yes you’re sooo smart.

He keeps on staring at you.

“Anyways, what about that uhm.. That kiss..?” You mentally cheer at the least amount of stutters in the much bolder question.

“O- Oh yes”!

Oo! A stutter!

“Well I doubt you would kiss me on the lips”.

“O- Oh I don’t m- mind— Ughh, I don’t mind kissing you anywhere really. Just a kiss itself is fine”!

“Oh really?” He teased.

“Y- Yes.” You whisper.

“Well, how about a kiss to the palm, yeah? Not too forward and nearly just the right amount of romance”.

“Yeah that’s fine”!!

Your somewhat wobbly legs move over to Sebastian. He slightly moves his right claw to your face, casting a shadow over your head because of how big it is.

You grab both sides of his hand and lean over to his palm, giving it a quick—

Smooch!

To the palm. Even after the kiss you still stay there for a few seconds, before backing away with your hands behind your back.

You hurriedly put your head gear back on before quickly stuttering out—

“T- Thank you f- for the k- kiss! I enjoy- gulp, enjoyed it”!

Rushing out of the shop, you let out a huge breath.

As if this was some show, the camera would pan to Sebastian’s scrunched up face, his lip(?) quivering. He’s happy that he’s cold blooded, or else he’d be blushing very, very hard right now.

He holds up that same palm, and puts it to his lips(??).

Letting out a shaky breath.

Guys guess how much words..

1773!!! I'm so good at um. Long fanfics yeah😛😛

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cthonic-bunny · 1 year ago

Text

2. Personal Synastry and Composite Experiences and Observations

Do not interact if you are a minor. (18+)

Venus in 1H synastry: This one is full of compliments. You both love staring at each other, and telling the other how attractive they are. The house person can be the perfect example of what aesthetic the Venus person’s dream person would follow. The Venus person can try to embody that aesthetic more than they did before so they can show they are a good physical match for the house person. “You would look good with me.” Bonding over shared music taste(s). I think the Venus person will want to romance the house person even if that isn’t something they normally do. Venus could love how the 1H person displays their feminine side. Venus likes to ask for pictures and selfies from the house person, and can create a dynamic where you send one another photos regularly. The house person likes to look at photos from the Venus person to gush about what they look like, because they are also supremely attracted to Venus (I think Venus just has a more natural way of expressing that desire). Also as the house person who identifies as a woman, venus’ compliments and pursuit of me has made me feel more feminine than I ever have in a romantic dynamic. Even my mannerisms are coincidentally more feminine and gentle in Venus’ presence. Venus definitely increased my self esteem.

Mars in 1H synastry: I think you two could make very good gym partners together because you love each other’s bodies. Some people say this is a “s*x on the first date placement,” and I concur. You find each other sexy! You compliment each other’s physical appearance and bodies often, and very much so during the act. The Mars person is very very direct with the house person that it’s almost overwhelming or intimidating. Being the house person, I did often feel like they had just wanted me for my body or that’s what they found to be the most interesting part about me until the interaction progressed. If there aren’t other good “soft and sweet” placements in the synastry chart or in the composite, this could be a pretty annoying placement. The Mars person did admit to me that they would bring up sex or something that would irritate me just to get a reaction because they didn’t know if they stimulate me outside of those vibes. If you’re in a relationship with someone else, or show interest in other people, the Mars person can want to fight your partner so they can be the one next to you LOL. This placement also involves a lot of staring. Being touched, even regularly, by Mars turned me on more than other people ever touching me the same way even if I liked them. Mars can love to grab the house person’s face a lot during sex. Maybe for some people who are into it, Mars can want to consensually slap the house person during sex. The Mars will like to be publicly “disrespectful” about you, because they want to mark you as theirs or will for real fight for you. They can see you as someone they want to protect, or you trigger some protective instinct. They might be a lot more physically stronger than you. Sending each other pictures of your body’s changes. You both like how the other defends themselves or bond over your argumentative or aggressive sides. As the house person with the Mars person being a man, I find his masculinity so attractive it hurts. He has slowly changed my perception on what I want a man to look like 😩

Sun in 11H synastry/composite: You guys get along almost immediately. This is a low maintenance friendship, because the vibes make up for all the times you don’t see each other. You just like how the other one approaches friendship. Very open-minded. Probably met through mutual friends, and these friends probably didn’t immediately notice certain similarities you have to one another. Once they see you guys link though, they can be surprised they never noticed it before. You guys may have automatically assumed, even if flirting was involved, that this interaction would remain generally platonic more than anything. People who are not in your friend group can also notice you two becoming friends immediately, because for some reason it stood out. As the sun person, I really liked listening to the house person’s dreams. Hearing the house person speak about how they handle their interpersonal relationships made me value my boundaries more and reminded me to focus more on myself than giving too much of my energy to other people. Essentially you can help each other dismiss certain people pleasing tendencies in one another. You don’t have to try to please one another either, your authentic self is enough to give each other pleasure. A natural sense of familiarity between you two. It’s funny hearing about each other’s quirks. You are encouraged to show your eccentricities around one another. Instant bestie vibes! You can feel like evil twins together in some cases LOL

Venus in 11H synastry: Honestly, in some cases, I feel like you may have met this person because they were previously involved with a friend or ex-friend. The friend you’re attracted to, but don’t need to pursue because you also get the same joys and benefits from your friendship. Friends with benefits. Friends to lovers. You may have started dating or flirting online for a while before meeting. I think this is another sign of shared music taste and interests. As the Venus person, I first grew some sort of interest because the house person posted a video of themselves online playing guitar and I found that super attractive. Maybe the Venus person can be an online supporter or promoter of the house person’s creative outlets. Never meeting in person but having a lot of the same mutuals you both know in real life, and then meeting in person later on by yourselves, maybe in a “date” setting.

Moon in 9H synastry: Here, the house person can introduce the moon person to different religions, or likes to talk about religion with the moon person. The house person can held guide the moon person on the importance of higher education or on the acquisition of knowledge. Long distance relationship. Wanting to be together but you somehow met once you two no longer lived in the same city. The moon person can feel like the house person is one of the smartest people they have met, and can feel somewhat intimidated by the house person because of it. You two can feel really free in one another’s presence. You can talk about anything. You two can turn casual conversation into something philosophical together. Sharing your personal philosophies with one another. Having drastically different life circumstances that have shaped you, but also having some foundational similarities. The moon person might be contradictory to the house person’s beliefs, but this can just stretch curiosity. It can also make the house person analyze different gaps in their previous opinions on certain organizations or institutions. Disagreements on certain topics doesn’t seem to escalate into arguments, but rather into informed discussions. Feeling out of reach to one another. I have seen a post referencing how the moon person can feel like the house person is out of their league, and I think this can stem from, in some cases, not being intelligent or well-rounded enough to stimulate the house person long term. This can just be a feeling and not at all be the case, because the house person learns a lot more from the moon than the moon realizes. You guys can spark the other’s adventurous side. You guys maybe only get to meet while the other is vacationing in your area. The Moon person can unconsciously inspire the house person to teach others about their speciality, such as getting you into blogging about an interest you talked to them about.

Composite Virgo Mars: Having to schedule when you two can have sex (maybe it’s long distance for a period of time). Arguments aren’t aggressive, but rather a hyper-analytical discussion that can be equally as irritating. Cleaning each other after sex. Being attracted to the other person abdominal area. When you guys start taking action towards advancing your connection, you stop eating out of nervousness. Maybe your fights stem from making one another nervous rather than a real issue itself. Bickering when you’re not with one another more so than when you’re in person. Having high expectations of one another once you become intimate partners. Wanting to come off as perfect for the other. Being extremely attentive with one another and immediately responding to any shift in energy because it can make you nervous. Really wanting to know what the other person is thinking and feeling in times of silence or during sex. Different sources have made this placement out to seem “sexually repressed,” but that is not always the case. Maybe circumstances can suppress the frequency they get to go at it, but if time permitted it could be on sight all the time. Not wanting to do anything that upsets the other or makes them uncomfortable, so lots of checking in on each other during the act to see if it’s mutually enjoyable and adapt accordingly. After sex with this person you might get extremely productive in your own personal life! Their presence in your life encourages you to get your life together and not be “messy.”

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simplyluunaa · 6 months ago

Text

˙⊹ ੈ✰[Love Languages]✰ ੈ⊹˙

-ˏˋ. rules + masterlist ˊˎ-

Fandom: Danganronpa

Characters: Makoto Naegi, Aoi Asahina, Byakuya Togami, Celestia Ludenberg, Chihiro Fujisaki, Hifumi Yamada, Junko Enoshima, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Kyoko Kirigiri, Leon Kuwata, Mondo Owada, Mukuro Ikusaba, Sakura Ogami, Sayaka Maizono, Toko Fukawa, Genocider Syo, Yasuhiro Hagakure

Warnings: !!NOT SPOILER FREE!! Non-despair AU! Other than that, none!! Just fluff!

Other: Non-despair Junko, he/him pronouns for Chihiro, may have a few misspellings lol

A/N: First post!! Hello, people reading this!! Reblogs, likes, and follows are always appreciated! Constructive criticism is also welcome!! Also, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to make this established relationship or like a mutual crush thing, so I tried to make it so it could go either way. Plus this is like my first time writing ANY of these characters, so please excuse any mischaracterizations or anything, I tried my best!

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Makoto Naegi

His love language is Quality Time

I feel like he’d be big into conversation

Doesn’t matter about what this man just likes to yap

If you are also talkative the two of you annoy the fuck out of everyone else because do you two ever stop talking??

But even if you’re quieter, he will talk enough for the both of you

Likes to watch movies and shows with you!!

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Byakuya Togami

His love language is Giving Gifts

He wouldn't be that affectionate of a person side from this I fear

Plus he always brushes it off if you ask

But he was thinking about you!! <3

He’ll legit buy anything that reminds him of you or he thinks you may enjoy

Man is made of money ofc he’s gonna spoil you while also acting like he hates you

Just how he is I’m afraid

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Chihiro Fujisaki

His love language is Quality Time

I feel like he’d be very much into baking with you

Idk man feels like a baker

Also, he’d be the best person to talk to about your interests because he will listen and do his best to remember every detail!!

Do the same for him!!

May or may not install Alter Ego on one of your devices so you can spend time with them while he isn’t around

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Hifumi Yamada

His love language is Giving Gifts

If you like a game or anime…be prepared

He will buy you just so much merch

Figures, posters, shirts, hoodies, plushies, everything

If you’re especially fond of a specific character he will draw them for you!!

Maybe even write a short Doujinshi with a favorite ship of yours if he has the time

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Kiyotaka Ishimaru

His love language is Acts of Service

He wants to be the Prime Minister, of course, he likes to help!

Like, I don’t know, I just have this thought like…

He’d so help you study, and like clean up your room for you

Also, I feel like if you have long hair he’d definitely brush it for you in the mornings

Maybe that’s just wishful thinking though idk

But also if you do something for him to lighten his workload??

He might cry, just sayin'

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Leon Kuwata

His love language is Physical Touch

I just know this man desperately needs to touch everyone around him all the time (no I’m not projecting hush)

Like, he’s always touching someone, like an arm around his friend's shoulder or playfully ruffling someone’s hair

He’s just that kinda guy

He’d also for sure put his arm around your waist or shoulder whenever you’re around

Also, he’d probably grab your face occasionally to just squish your cheeks and tease you

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Mondo Owada

His love language is Acts of Service

He’s a big strong man!! Of course he’s gonna do everything he can for his partner!!

No, but for real, he will do anything you ask of him AND MORE

He’s just a big softie!! And a gentleman!!

Opens doors for you, pulls your seat out for you, if you two are close enough will let you wear his jacket if you get cold

Especially if you're a girl!!

Diya raised him right!!

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Yasuhiro Hagakure

His love language is Physical Touch

Ok, this one is probably gonna be short cause I do not know a whole lot about this man

I feel like he’d be laid back about it, like with Leon

He’s just a touchy person, even with his friends

So expect him to just grab you and pull you into a hug, or ruffle your hair, stuff like that

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Aoi Asahina

Her love language is Physical Touch

You cannot convince me she wouldn’t always greet you with a hug

Like I just know she’s always touching you in some way

Holding hands, or her arm around your waist or shoulder

Even if you two are for some reason not touching, she’d still be incredibly close to you

If you let her she will just stand behind you and rest her chin on your shoulder

She does not care who’s around!! She wants to cuddle you she will do so!!

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Celestia Ludenberg

Her love language is Giving Gifts

Celestia has made a whole lotta money from gambling, so you cannot tell me she wouldn’t spoil you.

You and her cat ofc, can’t forget about Grand Bois Chéri Ludenberg

Also, I’m split between thinking that every gift would be accompanied by a grand gesture, and thinking it wouldn’t be uncommon to just find wrapped gifts on your desk or something

She’s probably very nonchalant with giving gifts (most of the time) but if you get her anything unprompted?

She melts

Like it doesn’t matter if it's expensive or not, it's just the fact that you're giving it to her that makes her go kinda mushy

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Junko Enoshima

Her love language is Acts of Service

But like…in a very strange and roundabout way

Like even without the despair, she’s still…Junko, ya know?

She’ll trip people who are rude to you, help you cheat on homework, forge documents for you

Ya know, normal bestie things!!

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Kyoko Kirigiri

Her love language is Quality Time

I mean, it seems obvious, doesn’t it?

I think she wouldn’t want to push conversation, just being together is enough for her

She’d like to go on walks or drink tea together

A lot of long comfortable silences with her that’s for sure

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Mukuro Ikusaba

Her love language is Physical Touch

I feel like this is less about affection and more about wanting to keep you safe though

Like, she’d wanna be near you just in case someone (Junko) tries to hurt you.

Which opens up a lot of opportunities to touch you!!

She’d probably be kinda shy/indifferent to it at first, but after a while, she softens up and allows hugs and such

Would have her hand on the small of your back nearly at all times

Also is the kind to pull you out of danger/away from dangerous people

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Sakura Ogami

Her love language is Quality Time

Drink tea with this girl RIGHT NOW!!

She’d definitely want like an hour of just uninterrupted time with you every day

Also feel like she’d be big into taking long walks with you, maybe at night or when the sun is setting idk idk

Also very much feel as if she’d want you to work out with her

But if you don’t work out, she may or may not bench press you sorry

Or like have you sit on her back while she does push-ups

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Sayaka Maizono

Her love language is Giving Gifts

Girlie makes a ton of money, she is SPOILING you!!

Buying you outfits, jewelry, expensive makeup, cute plushies!! Anything you want!

Would probably try and take you out on a shopping spree but doesn’t wanna be interrupted by fans

But she would give you her card and tell you to go crazy!! Maybe idk

If you give her a gift? Especially if it’s something you made?? Girl is melting.

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Toko Fukawa

Her love language is Acts of Service

She does stuff for you, but always vehemently denies it

Helps you clean up your room, just to say she was just looking for something

Or makes you food and just says she made too much

If you're someone who tends to overwork yourself, she’ll stay near you while she writes to make sure you take breaks and eat and drink water and whatnot

Which probably also helps her to remember to do those things!!

Win-win scenario!!

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡⟢Genocider Syo

Her love language is Physical Touch

Tries to make out with you in public

Will also grope you without warning

Sorry but if you want her to stop you gonna have to do something about it

However, even with all that she can also be really sweet at times

I feel like she’d thrive on cuddles

Even if she does feel you up while doing so

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qirongshusband · 7 months ago

Note

Can you do toji x male reader who is a bunny hybrid? Maybe also a pillow prince?

⋆˚࿔ Spoiled Rotten. 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Of course!! I’ll try my best to! You are my first request so thank you very much! I apologize if this isn’t what you wanted this is my first time writing about hybrids/animal like characters so😓..

MENTIONS — Male!Reader, Blood(not his or yours!), Pillow prince, Oral/BlowJob, showering with Toji, teasing, love bites, slight edging.

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

your pov!

It was a normal day like per usual, you were sitting on the couch enjoying your favorite snacks while watching your favorite TV show. You were all snuggled up cuddling the blanket waiting for Toji’s return, you missed him. He was gone on a job request for a few days now..you missed his caresses, his touch, when he would pet you, rub and play with your ears. You missed it all..after all you were very needy for him and his touch. He was the first and only man who treated you right, your other exes were..something!

All you knew is that you just wanted to be comfortable in your man’s arms but sadly he wasn’t there..there was the next best thing though! A pillow..! Yeah..a pillow. One of the pillows on the couch, it was really soft and comfy so you decided to cuddle up onto it along with your fluffy blankets. You were about almost done with the bag of your favorite snack but you were still hungry but didn’t feel like getting up to go get more..you knew Toji wouldn’t be home for a while but you thought to text him anyways, ‘Hey baby! Do you mind gettin’ sum’ more snacks on your way home? Pleeeaasses( ´∀｀)!’ And with that you pressed the send button.

It looked a bit late and you were feeling a bit sleepy, you really did try to wait for Toji each day he was gone hoping he’d come over next to you to let your ears and kiss your forehead like he usually does when he greets you. Unfortunately though..you ended up falling asleep on the couch hoping you’d be waking up into his arms or at least something from him!!

Toji’s pov.

“Ya’ sure ‘is gon’na pay a lot?” Toji looked at Shiu with an eyebrow raised. The job Toji had got sent on paid a lot but he was unsure if the people who were paying him were going to give him the promising amount. The job was so..simple? Easy. Almost suspicious but he did it anyways, he sighed with a light shrug, “alright then. I’ll b’ back.” He said then walking off onto do the job he was ordered to do, after all he kind of trusted Shiu, he was the one who gave him jobs occasionally so he just did it. Plus he could use the cash..he was broke as shit.

He was a bit annoyed that he couldn’t lay next to you and hold you though, as much as he hates to admit feelings such as these he loves you. He adores you. You’re cute to him, you’re everything to him and hell he would kill anyone for you. He’d do anything for you, as he kept thinking about you he felt a small blush creep upon his face and quickly snapped out of it as soon as he saw the target, the person he needed to eliminate. The sun was setting down quite quickly as he didn’t notice how late it was, Toji had felt his phone vibrate but he didn’t look at it he’d have to look later.

— timeskippin’ this part bc I don’t feel like writing a whole fight scene! —

He sighed and looked at the dead corpse below him, he didn’t even break a sweat when fighting them. He had his worm, ‘Megumi’ consume the dead body. After his cursed worm done so he made sure to absorb it again. Hiding it inside his body..honestly no one knows how the curse even partnered up or listened to him, it just does. No one knows but him..Toji had looked up and noticed it was dark out, probably around 9 o’clock? It was late and he needed to get back to you but first he needed to get back to Shiu and the people who asked for him to do this job.

He had walked all the way back to the plaza and into the dark alleys meeting up with Shiu and those people once again. Toji looked at them with a little bit of blood on his face and a little on his shirt. “Jobs done.” He spoke in a deep tone, obviously he was some what tired he had a long day and just wanted to get back home, he showed proof that he finished the job and they paid him as promised, Tojis aged scar on his lip curled up as he smirked. He put the cash inside of his pockets as he looked back at Shiu, “Ya’ knoooowww..you should treat me to some Yakisoba or sumthin’.” Toji said resting a hand on his hand onto his hip and the other on his side.

“I know you wouldn’t even covered your half even if I tried too. No way, Fushiguro. I’ll see ya’ next time, or never. Who knows.” Shiu said with a neutral tone walking off, he was gone. Toji scoffed and rolled his eyes, he remembered he had gotten a vibration on his phone but never checked. Surprise surprise..it was from you, hours ago..damn. Hours? He must’ve been BUUUUSSYY.

He mumbled out the text you sent him out loud, he chuckled softly as he liked your message and went to a corner store to pick up some of your favorite snacks. He knew you so well so he already knew what you liked, He left the store after paying, people gave him slightly weird looks..probably because of the blood stained on his clothes and face. But that didn’t matter, not right now. He just wanted to make it home to you, he was also tired and just wanted to sleep..to sleep with you in his arms.

— out of POV —

After the short trip to the corner store he was finally back in the apartment you both shared, he opened the door to notice you sleeping on the couch curled up cuddling and snuggling up with the blankets. Toji’s face softened, he smiled a little before placing the bags onto the counter and closing the door behind him. He then walked towards you and gently nudged you, “Hey, baby. ‘M home. Ya’ sleepin?”

“Mmh…” you groaned, slowly fluttering your eyes open but they quickly opened with them lighting up, you slowly wrapped your arms around him not noticing he was dirty, you didn’t mind it though. “Toji..I missed you so much!!” You smiled and kissed his cheek as you looked into his greenish-blue eyes.

“Mm. Sum’ one missed me.” He said with a slight smile before speaking again, “‘m gon’a go shower. You wan’a go back to sleep?” You shook your head as you tugged onto his shirt before saying, “I wanna shower with you..but I don’t wanna move can you hold me?..” you asked with a sweet pleading voice as you looked him into the eyes, he grinned once more before nodding and picking you up. He held you close to him as the both of you were now in the bath room, he sat you on the counter as he undressed you being carful with you. “‘M sorry I took so long to come back home..was busy with a job. I got payed a shit ton though.”

He said in a soft tone before turning on the shower and adjusting the temperature to the way you like it, Toji slid his blood stained clothes off tossing them onto the floor..of course you knew what type of job Toji did but you didn’t care..you only really cared for him you didn’t give a shit if he was a jujutsu sorcerer killer or any if the sort. He treats you right and that’s what matters to you, before you could speak he like, “did I ever tell ya’ how perfect ya’ are?” Completely catching you off guard you swore you felt your heart beat faster as your face became flushed.

“‘Mmm? Is my lil’ bunny quiet on me? I meant what I said, darling.” Toji walked back towards you and picked you up with one arm. He gave a quick peck on your neck before stepping in the shower with you, wetting your body with the nicely tempered water, just the way you like it. You looked over your shoulder and grabbed a loofa and a bottle of nicely scented lavender body wash..you applied it into the loofa before trying to clean off the blood stains off of Toji’s rough skin, the red stains slowly faded as you kept cleaning him off, you happily did it. You wanted to be with him and try to help him in some way, he began to rub and gently scratch your long fluffy ears, you squeaked from the sudden touch before hiding your face into his chest.

“You can’t just..do that..” you pouted as you said in an embarrassed tone, you whined as he continued to pet and rub your ears. “Mm’..why not? I thought ya’ loved physical touch baby.” He faced you soft kisses on your flushed cheeks trailing down to your neck, you felt his gaze upon you and you didn’t dare speak a word. You were too nervous too..he made you feel things you’ve never felt before. “I love you, sweetheart.” The nicknames he would call you would make your heart melt and you spoke once more to him in a stuttering nervous tone, “I love you..too..Toji.” He let out a low chuckle before grabbing a fresh wash cloth hanging on the metal bar, he applied the same soap you used on him onto the cloth. He began to wash your back and torso until he moved onto other places such as your arms, legs, hands, neck, etc. anywhere he felt like he needed to care for he would with no hesitation do if it’s for you.

After the both of you were both done cleaning each other you were both clean and not dirty anymore, thankfully! You both were still under the shower head letting the water hit the both of you gently, Toji had leaned forward and gently applied his chapped lips onto your soft luscious ones..the kiss was slow and gentle until you felt him nibbling on your lips causing small little purple bruises on them, as he then slid his long tongue inside of your mouth shoving it in overlapping your own, he held you up against the wall as he kept his eyes open observing your movements..your squirming, soft moans, and the twitches your body would make. He enjoyed this moment.. he pushed the kiss on to last more longer kissing you more deeply but making sure he was slow with it, it was kind of sloppy but did he care? No, no he did not. He did not give one shit.

He just wanted to focus on making you feel good..that was it. He then stopped the kiss as the both of you slightly panted after the kiss was done. Your pupils being completely focused on him, your soft little whines filling his ears up like his favorite melody was playing. He loved hearing you and he wanted to hear you more, he turnt the water off as he stepped out the shower holding you close to him, Toji then threw you on the bed wet and all. He didn’t care if the bed got soaked or damped, he just wanted to hear you and please you. He was too pent up to let this slide, he didn’t even care about himself he just cared about you, he needed to hear you. “H—hey wait—! It’s almost midnight..don’t you think we should w-wait for to—“ he interrupted you mid sentence by saying, “I’ll be quick.”

You laid there as he was on top of you, he singled you to relax and that he wasn’t going to go rough, he wanted to take his take and be gentle with you. “The way that yer squirming for me..you enjoy this..aren’t ya’?” You nodded as your bare body was laying against the soft fluffy blankets and pillows, Toji began to trail kisses all over your body further and further down until he reached your happy trail, he was breathing directly over your crotch, he tapped your leg making you spread them open, giving him a view of everything, “good boy.” He muttered under his breath as he kissed and bit down onto your thighs leaving hickeys and love-bites all over them..

You were whimpering and whining due to each time his teeth and fangs bared into your skin…not able to draw blood or hurt you but enough to make you squeeze your plush soft thighs around his head..you wiggled your hips and moaned softly, you wanted more..everytime you kept thinking of the more you wanted the more your cock twitched. Toji noticed and smirked, he knew you liked when he did everything during times like these..when he was in control. When he did everything, when he pleased you like there was no tomorrow. He brought his lips to your twitching cock as he kissed the tip before putting it into his mouth as his mouth was being coated by your pre.

His hand traveled down to the lower part of your shaft as he slowly stroked it with his rough calloused hand, his mouth would sink deeper as your cock would disappear into his mouth. He continued to stroke you meanwhile his tongue swirled around the tip of your cock as it caused you to whine, his saliva was leaking down onto your cock and his hand as he continued to keep going. A knot was building up in your stomach, the sensations you were feeling were driving you mad. The orgasm building up,

Your toes had curled up as your back arched, his other hand was on your stomach as he pushed his hand down on you keeping you still. He took your cock out of his mouth as he continued to kiss and lick the tip as he stroked your cock. He moved his hand a bit more faster causing his grip around your sensitive leaking cock to go more tighter, he was sending vibrations and hums onto your cock causing you to be more sensitive. Your moans turning into shuddering panting harsh breathes.. “s—stop—..teas—-teasin’!..please please…I’m..I can’t take it..I need..I need to..c—come!..” you whined you with tears filling your eyes, your bunny tail twitched as your fluffy hair was a mess, as long with your ears.

The pupils of your eyes that were once circular were now heart shaped, the amount of lust filled the air was insane..but Toji loved it. He loved seeing you in this state, begging, needing, wanting more..desiring more out of him. You needed that sweet release only he could provide for you. He grinned once more, that evil, sexy, fucking grin..he chuckled as your dick went deep inside his mouth, the slurping noises filled the room along with your loud sloppy moans. Just as sloppy at the head he was giving you, he continued to jerk you off faster and more rougher as he kept on deep throating you, you felt a wave of heat hit your body as you gasped loudly, eyes widening and finally releasing all of that pent up pleasure into his mouth..Toji gagged a bit as he swallowed all of your cum, a little bit dropped off onto his chin as he pulled back and sat above you.

“Such’a good boy. Did ya’ enjoy that? Hmm..my dear prince?” He asked you in a teasing tone and then realizing you were passed out cold, the pleasure was too much for you and you couldn’t stay awake any longer, it was officially midnight anyways it was understandable why you were our cold. He grabbed the blankets and covered you with them as he held you into his arms holding you into his embrace kissing your forehead. “So cute..I love you, so much.” He whispered softly as he then fell asleep right next to you..

︵‿୨♡୧‿︵

#gay #jjk x male reader #male!reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #smut #x reader #toji smut #jujutsu toji #jjk toji #toji fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji x reader #toji x you #jjk smut #gay smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic

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chaoticace2005 · 9 months ago

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Reasons the Mothman should die, collectively written by the residents of the Hazbin Hotel:

Coding for Characters: Vaggie, Charlie, Pentious, Alastor, Niffty, Husk, pretty much everyone

TW: References to abuse

He’s holding back Angel’s progress. (Vaggie, is killing really necessary?) (I am concerned about going after a Vee)

I’m hungry (ALASTOR!)

Ms. Angel gets nervous when on the phone with him.

His coat is tacky.

He’s a bug! And bugs must be DESTROYED!

So Angel stops feeling like he has to be so damn fake. This is getting on my fucking nerves.

HE LICKED CHARLIE!!! (Vaggie, wait it’s okay.)

Color scheme sucks. Purple AND red?!

He makes Angel sad, NOBODY should make Angel sad.

Those obnoxious glasses just make him look stupid.

He’s a manipulative, abusive prick.

ANGEL DIDN'T KNOW BOUNDARIES WERE A THING?!?!?!?!?!? (Honestly that explains a lot.)

NOBODY deserves to be in an abusive relationship.

Too many arms. Nobody needs that many. (...Angel has that many?) (Well maybe he shouldn't.)

Ms. Angel keeps coming home all messy!!

He’s ruining hearts for everyone. Me and Angel already have enough. At least those are on our bodies, what’s his excuse?

Hearts should not even be ASSOCIATED with Valentino, THIS IS NOT LOVE.

I can do without all the sexual depravity. While I am in Hell this is NOT one of the reasons.

If I have to hear that ringtone one more damn time-

The Eggies found some of his films. They should never be exposed to such horrors. Now I have to explain what “a sex” is.

Makes picture shows that are a disgrace to the idea of “entertainment.”

He’s making a bad name for Uncle Ozzie. This is NOT “lust.”

So we don’t have to listen to another one of Angel’s pornos. (Agreed, it’s quite horrifying!!)

So Ms. Angel isn’t tired when she gets home and can save the kinky stuff for then :) (Niff, really?)

So the kid stops coming home with bruises and cuts that I fix up at 3 am. (Husk, what the fuck?)

Because what the FUCK Valentino?

He keeps forcing Angel to do drugs. (HE WHAT?! Like crack??) (That but also I’m pretty sure whatever comes out of him is an aphrodisiac.)

I want to use his antenna as a backscratcher

Has that whole red color thing going on. Only I am allowed to wear red :) (Al, your text isn’t even red.) (My what?)

What is up with his red spit and smoke? Seriously disgusting.

The red stuff from him may be what allows Velvette to create her “Love Potions” which funds Vax’s stupid endeavors (Do you mean Vox?) (Who?)

FOR MY COLLECTION :D (…yeah okay.)

Really is making a bad name for Overlords. And not in the fun way.

Angel’s shown trauma signs of abuse in our meetings. Im pretty sure it’s Valentino.

Make a doll out of his fur so I have a main villain for roach puppet shows!!!

His only purpose is to keep Veks occupied but considering Vixen’s inane attempts to catch my attention it isn’t working.

So Angel can have his soul and he and Husk can run off into the sunset together like in a fanfiction!!! (Ah, yes that would be nice.) (WE WHAT?!) (Oh Husker, denial doesn’t suit you.)

So Angel can get a good boyfriend THAT’S NOT ME to stop these bullshit allegations.

So Angel can admit his feelings to Husker because our cat surely isn’t going to be the first to do it. (ALASTOR I SWEAR TO GOD!)

Who knows how many other people he’s abusing.

Seems to give Vicks confidence. He has enough of that as is. It much more fun to destroy him.

He makes Angel sad which makes Cherri sad!

HE HIT ANGEL!!!

Called my dear Rosie an "old hag" NOBODY CALLS ROSIE AN OLD HAG.

Angel is a good friend and deserves so much better.

I’ve forgotten what moths taste like.

He keeps trying to get Angel to move out :(

Told the kid he had to lose weight. What the actual FUCK. (Ill kill him.)

He’s annoying and looks quite stupid. How has this not been added yet?!

He’s making a bad name for Spanish speakers everywhere. (Yeah it’s embarrassing.) (Wait… what?)

He’s making a bad name for pansexuals everywhere.

He’s making a bad name for wing-holders everywhere. (HE HAS FUCKING WINGS?!) (Oh, yeah, I didn’t tell you?)

Too tall. This is ridiculous.

Won’t admit he’s blind so he’s become even more of a public safety hazard.

If I get one more transmission of him and Box commiting lascivious acts someone will be eaten. I don’t care who. What the purpose of these are I don’t know. Advertisement? (I think it’s to make you jealous boss.) (Ha! Jealous of what? Mediocre sex with a pathetic excuse for a businessman with a TV as a head?)

Because Angel deserves fucking better.

945 notes · View notes

cocoreallylovesraiden · 9 months ago

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MK1 characters and sick! reader

(johnny cage, bi-han, smoke +liu kang & shang tsung)

not proof read not thought out not nothing i am SICK and this is my OUTLET (again this is not serious, just goofy stuff)

Johnny Cage

- sick equivalent of “it’s not uterus it’s uterUS”

- Especially if he doesn’t have much going on in his schedule? It’s like there’s two sick people in the house

- He has ZERO issues laying in bed all day with you- until he decides on a group excursion to the living room couch where you will… continue to lay there! Exciting.

- Depending on how sick you are he’d be more serious, if it was just a little cold and nothing to worry about, expect to have some movies in the back while you doze in and out of his incessant chatting

- (I personally think he can’t cook well) so your favourite takeout is ordered and put into one of those fancy ass bowls to make it look like a home cooked meal. Bless him.

- Wearing matching ugly pjs like the worlds bleakest slumber party

- Says he doesn’t care about getting sick from being close to you, but makes jokes about your ‘heebies’ getting all over him if you ask for any physical contact (he will over enthusiastically oblige)

- If you’re seriously ill, he would be at a loss, especially when his usual demeanour can’t seem to cheer you up.

- Since i imagine his relationship with his parents isn’t the best, he’d probably call one of your family members to ask how to best care of you, and take it from there

- He wouldn’t treat you like a glass vase though, still cracking jokes while he attends to your needs; but in a way where you can tell he’s trying to mask how vulnerable he feels in his care for you.

- Calls you his sicky wicky honey boo boo sugar tits pumpkin pie

- Definitely gets the man flu once you recover no question about it

- As you lay in bed, sweating from your fever with this huge piece of man meat hugging up on you, all you can hear in the back of your head is “BAAAAYBBUHHHHH…. IT HUUURTTSS…” (congratulations! You can see into the future!)

- Also would call his assistant to ask for help. What are they going to know? They just do his accounting!

Bi Han

- You are sick? Have fun not being allowed to do ANYTHING. No chores, no training, no oily food, no Netflix- NO NETFLIX?

- He claims that extended screen time will only agitate your condition.

- He takes it upon himself to care for you; making easy to digest food, offering to help you shower when you feel physically weak, buying all sorts of medicines, etc.

- it would be easier to send someone to do some of these tasks (aside from the showering.) but no. Out of the kindness of his heart? Yes, of course. He loves you dearly. But also because he does not trust anyone to be as competent as he is.

- As the grandmaster gives you several containers of traditional Chinese medicine, you can only wonder if some pharmacist is sponsoring him. If you dare complain they taste horrible, he will GLADLY take a pill or a bit of powder just to show you were being a wuss

- Nags you for not being careful, and at first it’s annoying but you figure out eventually it’s because he’s worried and this is how he shows his love and concern

- During the day he has to be off at work, and as the hours pass those around him see his shoulders tense higher and higher. You’ve eaten lunch, right? You’ve taken your medicine?

- But don’t worry! Once you show the SLIGHTEST signs of recovery, it’s back to the grind.

- You can sniffle and puppy eyes him all you want, but once he deems you fit for daily life, we are back for business! No more Mr Marginally Nicer Bi Han!

- That being said, once you’re back to smiling and laughing, he will admit that it’s nice to see you back to your usual self.

Smoke

- feels horrible that you’re sick, but secretly proud of his immune system for staying strong; now he has an excuse to show off his hospitality skills!

- sort of like bi-han, expect instead of professional fussing you get excited pampering, gets to the point where you have to ask whether or not he should be at work instead of here

- “Work? Taking care of you is my work!”

- Uses this as a chance to freshen up memory on his hometown; making foods, remedies and tricks he remembers his mother doing for him as a sick child.

- If you ask him more about it, he will gladly go into detail- telling wonderful stories even if he occasionally gets emotional through them

- Cleans your face with a damp cloth and uses it as an excuse to get all close with you- again! He has a strong immune system, so nothing to worry about.

- While he’s off at work, he leaves you notes around the house to remind you that he’s thinking of you and hopes you feel better soon- if you collect all the notes, he becomes embarrassed and acts like he doesn’t know who wrote them

- Comes home and snuggles with you, mentioning even if you did have a fever, it was nice because outside was so cold and you were so warm.

- A little tone deaf, but he’s… got the spirit?

- Secretly upset once you get better because you’re less accommodating to his needy/ clingy behaviour, but it’s also great that you can communicate with words and not pained groans!

- You are WAITING for the day he gets sick. There’s no way you’ve gotten the flu 4 times, and he hasn’t. He sleeps in the same bed as you when you’re sick! Kisses you!

- How did they raise kids to be so strong where he’s from?

BONUS

Liu Kang

- you don’t get sick.

- flu season? he makes you take traditional medicine to prevent it.

- cold? you’re funny. around him? Liu “Set Off Fire Alarms With His Flaming Biceps” Kang? Haha.

- food poisoning? he Knows if the food is off, and won’t let you get the chance to eat it.

- Papa is going to make sure influenza season hits a new low this year

- Seriously, medical insurance companies are terrified of him.

Shang Tsung

- very creepily offers you an elixir and asks you to drink it.

- (Here is the part where I say: but you know he won’t hurt you, so you take it. But, you don’t know. He’s looking at you reeeaaalll funny)

- Notices your glare and takes a moment to re-do his sales pitch, this time a lot less devil-binding-contract and more… human…like?

- turns out, the elixir was just a failed experiment on shape-shifting. he sheepishly offers practical medicine while you roll your eyes.

Kung Lao

- is also sick.

- You both are idiots.

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sorcerersandskillusers · 1 year ago

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Card Meanings in the new, The Day I Picked Up Dazai art.

Ok so im currently still in shock that were getting new day I picked up dazai content so bare with me, but onece again Asagiri has included playing cards in his art so of course I have to break down what they mean.

Lets start with side A (the right side):

First we see a joker:

While Gogol is the obvious fit for the joker, the card also describes Dazai extremely well. He is almost always acting like the fool in any given situation, even in the mafia he loved to be as weird and funny as he could as well as tease and annoy the people around him, something jesters famously did.

In fact, his dynamic with Mori is very close to how a king and a jester used to work, where the jester was the only person who was allowed to openly mock the king and would usually heckle him. They also played a key part in psychological warfare, which we see Dazai specialises in.

I think the whole; wit, intelligence and unpredictability kind of speaks for itself.

Next card is the four of spades:

This one is also really fitting, it shows how after the day I picked up Dazai side A, Dazai settles into his little routine of going to bar lupin with Oda as well as how he finally has someone who he can trust and be comfortable around. Finally, it is a clear message of optimism, something Dazai never shows before he meets Oda.

Next the two of hearts:

This one is pretty obvious, it's Dazai and Oda spending time at bar lupin. It actually fits so well, there's not much I can say about it other then how it shows the love and care Dazai and Oda had for each other (platonically)

Now for Side B (prepare to cry)

The first card is the three of spades:

Whyyyyyyyyyy... why Asagiri. This one is also fairly obvious but it has multiple meanings. It most clearly represents Dazai suffering in side B as he has to run the mafia without odasaku and live in utter loneliness while destroying all the connections he never got to have for the sake of a friend he never got to meet.

“It was hard,” muttered the young man. “It was really hard fighting Mimic without you in the organization. I had no choice but to take over for Mori and make enemies of everyone around me to expand the business. Everything I did was for this world’s—”

It also represents the moment on the platform where he nearly tells Odasaku the truth and goes with him to bar lupin, the horrible decision to abandon everything for Odas future

The next card is... the ace of spades:

The ace of spade has many meanings, most of which involve change or transition, but by far its most famous meaning it death. I really don't think I have to explain this one, Beast Dazai having the card of death has a pretty clear meaning.

But the ace of spade does have a secondary meaning, and this one is a little more hopeful, as it shows Dazai passing the safety of this world onto Atsushi and Auktagawa.

Finally, (it's a bit hard to see) we have the ten of diamonds:

I want to focus mostly on the highlighted part because it's what really applies to BEAST Dazai, he lived his whole life to create a world where what matters most to him, that Oda gets to be happy and write his books, becomes real. This card doesn't apply to Dazai directly, more to the fact that he made succeeding in his mission his only priority and discarded everything else.

Bonus round Odasku card; the king of clubs

the only card thats seen on Oda's section and one that clearly represents Odasaku as a character.

"King of clubs represents a dark man, who is loyal and kind. He is a good businessman, shrewd with money and investments, but isn’t selfish. In fact, the King of clubs is a very devoted father, husband and citizen. In a broader sense, the King of clubs encompasses idealized qualities of a fatherly figure. This card is universally considered as a very good omen."

I feel like this sums Odasaku up very well, the devoted father and loyal friend parts are just him to a t.

(this is also the card I think best represents Fukuzawa)

Right, I think I got everything, if you disagree with this or find something I missed, please reblog or comment with whatever you want to add, or send me an ask. I love discussing, and hearing other people's views as long as they're respectful.

If you add something, please add it in the post not the tags, so I can reply to it (or in the tags if that makes you more comfortable)

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urinarythreatinfection · 4 months ago

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Hello~ I was wondering if you could do a headcannon for a Crocodile x reader who has worked with him since Alabasta. As of late, after forming Crossguild, he's realizing that he has feelings for her and it pisses him off.

It's good I reread this because I almost starting writing you having feelings and it annoying him. Anyway I know headcanons are usually formatted different and worded different so I just tried to copy what i've seen. Sorry if it's weird, it's my first time. Be gentle 🥺. If i did something wrong just tell me. Also my first ask that isn't me squeee!

Crocodile the love struck (reptile) fool

Crocodile x fem reader. Crocodile isn't happy that this is an x reader because he's a control freak. 821 words.

You’re a hard worker, a competent worker, and a loyal worker. Those are facts, viable facts that could be proven in the fact that you work just as hard now as you do in Alabasta despite having less incentive to; despite having the opportunity to leave him when he was in Impel Down. It’s why he’s so in denial about these unwanted feelings at first, then angry that he has them. Things are already so hectic, he doesn’t need anything else to be out of his control.

• It started with your smile, as cliche as it is, the one you wore even though work can be anything but fun.

• He found it irritating at first, work is something to be taken seriously, but came to appreciate it.

• First because it meant you enjoyed your job well enough, something he likes since it means more loyalty.

• Now that he's formed Cross Guild, it's because it brightens his own day; and to the point where now it’s like some sort of drug.

• One where if he doesn’t get it he gets on edge, making work even duller.

• It’s embarrassing, a fully grown old man like him getting cranky because doesn’t get a smile from a pretty girl he likes. Pathetic.

• It ends up putting him in an even worse mood when he notices it.

• Another thing that annoys him is how much he likes your voice.

• You’ve even started having to repeat things to him because he was too focused on how nice it sounds and feels to hear you talk to him.

• He wouldn’t be surprised if you thought he’d gone senile at this point��

• Thankfully you don’t show it if you do feel that way.

• Something he does wish you’d show is distaste for when any of the other men talk to you.

• He knows it’s mostly good work ethic communicating with them well, it helps now that you’re allied with other people, but sometimes he wishes you’d sneer at Mihawk or scoff at Buggy rudely.

• Show that you dislike talking to them, hate talking to anyone that isn’t him.

• There are the childish thoughts again…

• He’s 46 for gods’ sake, someone who’s killed both with his own hands and from his indirect actions.

• Not some schoolboy getting fussy that his crush is talking to someone else.

• Maybe feelings like “fussy” would be better though, would be safer for you; because they’re not always so childish.

• He wants you all to himself, you’re his anyway.

• You worked with him in Alabasta, waited for him while he was in Impel down, and work with him again in Cross Guild even if the work is more taxing; and less rewarding.

• You stayed with him, so loyal for him, so it makes sense that you’re his

• He wants to shower you with things you’d like, not just to dress his pretty girl up, but to guilt you into staying with him.

• To give him more of an excuse to be protective over you than just having feelings.

• What a terrible thing to think, but he’s never been a morally correct person.

• Either way, it’s not like he could actually do anything to hurt you.

• He’s tried, you can become a serious weakness for him.

• But everytime he tries there’s always an excuse.

• “She’s too useful.” “She’s a good worker.” “l still need her for this.” “It’d be a hassle.” “She makes my work easier.” “I’ll do it once I get my power back.”

• Though those are viable reasons that stop him, they aren’t truly the core reason.

• The reason is because he loves you, and it drives him mad.

• As mad as when you smile for others, or your hands brush together, or you call his name while looking up at him with those pretty eyes he wants looking nowhere else.

• You’re so beautiful, he loves you.

• He wishes that the feelings would just go away with time, with the fatigue he gets from working days straight.

• But they don’t, and they only get stronger.

• Especially when you do things to make even the smallest things easier.

• Making sure his cigar drawer is always full, bringing him water, telling him the time when he loses track of it.

• When he notices you telling him the time while looking sleepy yourself, he almost grabs you to pull you into his lap.

• Hold you, cage you into his arms and give you a kiss with all the emotion he’s been building up.

• But he can’t lose control, so he doesn’t.

• He just sends you off with a “Thanks, get some sleep yourself before you pass out on the job.”

• Once you turn, you can’t see the way his eyes follow you with a warmth he didn’t even know he had.

• And once the door is closed behind you, you don’t see the way he puts his head in his hand with a “Fuck.”

#one piece #crocodile x reader #headcanon #crocodile #crocodile one piece #headcanons #anime only #female reader #he's so kya core #Fluff #Fluff but he's a lil creepy about it #one piece x reader

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pleasingforharry · 2 years ago

Text

Quiet!YN Gets Jealous

college!harry x quiet!yn

SUMMARY: Based on this Ask - Hey! Can we have more of college harry? Im literally obsessed with him😮‍💨 maybe something about y/n getting jealous with angst or she does something that pisses h off but they make up? Anything tbh!

WORD COUNT: 12.4k

WARNINGS: Angst and smut

it’s back. did some changes here and there. hope you enjoy it (again)

Harry liked Y/N a lot. She knew that. And even though being in a relationship didn’t stop girls from trying to seduce him, Harry still continued to look the other way when they approached him. He only wanted Y/N. She knew that.

So, why the fuck was she so jealous?

Harry was popular, and even now that he was with someone, that didn’t change his social status. Everyone wanted to be around him because he was just a great person overall. But Harry made it known that certain parts of himself were only reserved for his girlfriend. And Y/N knew that.

So, why the fuck was she so jealous?

They’ve had many short but heated arguments about it. How every time Harry wasn’t with Y/N, he was accompanied by some girl who had attached herself to his side. And how Harry always brushed it off because to him, it didn’t mean anything. He loved Y/N and couldn’t get her off his mind. So, girls could continue to try, however, nothing was going to change.

But to Y/N, Harry was okay with girls having their way with him. She felt as if she was sharing her boyfriend when she wasn’t around.

Every time she would bring it up, Harry would kiss her long and lovingly, letting her know that it was nothing she needed to worry about.

So, why the fuck was she so jealous?

And those thoughts led to the couple's most recent argument. Y/N wanted to surprise Harry at his frat house with ice cream from their favorite spot, More Scoops, after her classes. She hadn't told him that her last class had been canceled, which met she would have extra hours with him. She was overjoyed about it and wanted to see him as soon as possible.

She asked her platonic uncle, Coach James, who was also Harry’s soccer coach, to pick her up and drive her there because the walk would have taken up valuable time.

“I’ve never seen you so eager to get to some boy’s house and eat ice cream with him, kiddo. I feel like I should meet him formally, huh?” Coach James chuckled as he held the bag of ice cream for Y/N. She slid out his truck and turned to give him an annoyed look.

“You see him all the time at practice, Uncle James,” Y/N took the bag from him and shut the door as he rolled the passenger window down.

“I know, but I just always wanted to say that,” He exclaimed. “Have fun, kiddo. See you later.”

“Thanks again,” She waved as he drove off.

Y/N made her way up to the frat house and knocked on the door. She was surprised to see that some random guy had opened it for her.

“And who are you, beautiful?” He smirked, moving out of the way to let her in. Y/N remained frozen in place, not wanting to give him the opportunity to check her out as she passed by.

But Niall was quick to intervene and save her. “Marsh, do something better with your life. Goodness,” he scoffed as he smacked him in the back of the head.

“Damn, I was just being nice,” Marsh groaned before stalking away, grumbling under his breath. Y/N internally relaxed and smiled, relieved. Niall let her in and shut the door behind them.

“Hey, what are you doing here? Isn’t Harry supposed to get you from class later?”

"Yeah, but my last one got canceled, so I came to surprise him," she nodded as she proudly showed him the ice cream bag.

“He’ll love it,” Niall laughed, gesturing for a high-five. “And we’ve got a busy house today, so yell if another version of Marsh bothers you. I’ll come save you again,” He winked at her. Y/N smirked and thanked Niall before skipping to Harry’s room.

He wasn’t wrong when he said it was busy because there were people everywhere. There was no party going on, but each roommate had about a thousand friends, and headquarters happened to be the house her boyfriend lived at.

It was definitely an adjustment.

Y/N finally made it to Harry’s room, but before she knocked, she heard voices on the other side.

“Yeah, practice was a fucking nightmare yesterday. My hamstrings are killing me.”

“Really? Want me to massage them for you?”

“Ha ha, yeah right.”

“No, seriously. I kinda wanna know what soccer thighs feel like. They look so tight and firm, but soft at the same time.”

“Something like that.”

“So, may I?”

Before she could listen to any more, Y/N swung the door open, her gaze darting to her boyfriend and the last person she wanted to see with him. Peyton.

Out of all the girls that Harry knew, Peyton was the closest to him. They'd been friends since freshman year, and she's always had a crush on Harry. He was aware of it because she made it abundantly clear, but he never felt the same way. She was like a sister to him, and he preferred her as a best friend than his girlfriend.

Peyton was annoyed at Harry for it, but she kept trying and wouldn't give up on them. Yes, Harry knew that she still liked him and should have communicated that there was a line that couldn't be crossed, but she was his best friend. It was difficult to keep her at arm's length when he never had to do so before.

Harry was laid out on his bed, and Peyton was in his swivel chair, but rolled by his side. Y/N was slightly relieved that there was some kind of distance between them.

“Hey, baby. What are you doing here?” Harry asked. He sat up from his bed and motioned her over with open arms. “I’m supposed to get you from class in like two hours.” He was a little taken back that she was in his room and not in class, but nevertheless ecstatic to see her.

“Canceled,” was all she said, not moving from her spot as she continued her stare down with Peyton, who had a short smirk on her face. “Hello.”

“Hey, Y/N. Haven’t seen you in a minute,” she spoke sweetly. “H and I were just talking about you.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he knew what Peyton was implying but executing in a taunting way. “Valentine’s day is coming up, so I was thinking about date ideas,” He corrected her, leaning over to push her shoulder, which she chuckled at. “Don’t be an asshole.”

Y/N nodded and fiddled with the ties of the plastic bag. She didn’t know what to say as she still wanted an explanation for what was about to happen if she hadn’t walked in.

“I heard you guys out there,” she mumbled, now uncomfortable with eye contact and glancing down at her twitching feet. Peyton sniffled a laugh and looked over at Harry. He knew what she was trying to accuse him of and that an argument was slowly stirring.

“Okay? So, now you know I need my baby to come and soothe my aching legs,” He jokingly whined, hoping to avoid it. “Come.”

“Why? You were about to let Peyton do it for me,” She shrugged. “I’ll get out of your way. Have fun.” She turned on her heel and stepped towards the door.

“Y/N, wait,” He stopped her. “We all know that wasn’t going to happen.” She scowled as she peered over her shoulder at Harry.

“Did she know that, though?” She motioned to Peyton. The girl was spinning in his chair, letting the couple duke it out. She only listened in smug amusement. Y/N made it too easy.

“Yes, because you are my girlfriend and she isn’t.”

“Shame,” Peyton muttered under her breath. Before Y/N could snap a remark at her, Harry got to it first.

“Get out, Peyton,” He pointed to the door.

She shot her hands up in surrender. “I’m joking, H. Swear.”

“I don’t care, don’t say shit like that. Get out.”

“You knew I was joking, right, Y/N?” She desperately sought to her for help.

“Don’t talk to her; you’ve already upset her. I will physically throw you out if you don’t leave now,” Harry barked. Peyton sighed and stood up.

She and Y/N exchanged dark looks that said a thousand words. As it was just Peyton, Y/N had no intention of backing down from her glare. She tilted her head to the side and smiled. “Ice cream?” She lifted the bag in between them.

“No thanks,” Peyton scoffed before walking out and slamming the door as a last statement.

When the couple was finally alone, Harry held his breath to cautiously watch his girlfriend. Her shoulders dropped as she realized how tense they were. Without looking at Harry, she moved to his mini fridge and stocked away the ice cream. She suddenly wasn’t in the mood for it anymore.

“Why’d you get ice cream? Special occasion?” Harry spoke first.

“Not really, but I killed my speech in Public Speaking and felt great. My last class got canceled so I thought ‘what better way to spend those two hours than with my boyfriend and ice cream’. Tried to get here as fast as I could to surprise you, and you know the rest,” Y/N explained, sitting across the room from him, on top of his desk. Her arms crossed as she stared at him.

Harry nodded, “Well, first off, I’m proud of you, baby. Congrats on a great speech.”

“Thank you,” She brushed him off quick.

“And thank you for coming to surprise me. I’m so happy you’re here.”

Are you? She wanted to comment, but bit back her tongue.

Harry tapped his thighs as Y/N blinked at him. He knew what she wanted to discuss, but he didn’t want talk about it. He attempted to divert the subject by asking about the ice cream she bought.

“What flavors did you get us?” He motioned to the fridge aside her.

Y/N just shook her head and laughed. “Can we just talk about it because I’m really concerned?”

“Why? I told you nothing was going to happen,” He shrugged. “Now come here and kiss me. I’m really concerned about my lack of kisses today,” He quipped.

Despite her intent to keep her strict demeanor, Y/N really missed him and was just glad to be with him. Her eyes rolled as she pushed off his desk and walked over to him. As soon as he could reach her, he snatched his girlfriend into his arms with a wide smile on his lips.

“My baby!” He cooed and threw her behind him on his bed, before quickly climbing on top of her.

“Harry!” She squealed out. He wasted no time in attacking her face with kisses. Some were wet and slobbery, traveling from her forehead to her cheeks to her lips to her chin and to her neck. “You’re so gross,” She groaned, trying to wipe away his saliva.

“Are you getting rid of my love?” He gasped. “Y/N L/N, what the hell is wrong with you?” Y/N laughed and held his cheeks before enveloping him in a long passionate kiss. He moaned within it and slyly rolled his hips against her in arousal.

When she pulled away, she smirked, “Forgiven?”

“Definitely,” He nodded, and they both laughed.

Y/N let the subject slide for a while, not wanting to bring it up as they were loving on each other for hours. She felt too good to just suddenly ruin the moment, but wasn’t going to ignore how Peyton was a constant problem, along with Harry’s other mild friendships with the girls on campus.

The couple was finally eating the ice cream she brought over, sitting on his bean bag chair and having pillow talk. Harry had Y/N straddling his lap as he kissed her between every few mouthfuls of ice cream. He leaned further into the bean bag chair, taking in the view in front of him.

She was in his shirt after being stripped naked—and well taken care of—a while ago and her nipples puckered from the cold taste of her treat. She had finished her cup and twisted to the side to throw it in the basket beside his desk.

She surprisingly made the shot and Harry cheered dramatically, using that as another excuse to kiss her everywhere. “You’re a future basketball star, baby. I know it,” He exclaimed.

“I made one easy shot, dove,” She laughed, now able to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Still, I think you as a basketball player would be hot as fuck,” He groaned at the thought, bucking his hips up into her. She giggled and brought their lips close but not into a kiss.

“You think everything I do is hot as fuck. You have a constant hard on,” She teased him.

“It’s called a love boner, smartass,” He laid a hard slap to her rear. “And yes, I do think so. Call me obsessed.”

Y/N shared a long loving stare down with Harry. Her gaze followed the length of his face before returning to his eyes. He was hers, but it didn't always seem that way.

The events of earlier, and times just like those, circled back to her mind, causing a noticeable frown on her face. Harry watched and one of his own fell on his lips. He ran his hands up her back, under his shirt, to get her attention. “Baby, what’s wrong? What are you thinking about?”

She shook her head.

“Come on, tell me. I can see it’s bothering you,” He pushed it.

She sighed and looked away as she didn’t want to see his reaction. “Peyton.” That was all she needed to say to sum up everything that was stuck in her head. It wasn’t just Peyton, but every girl that wanted him.

“Y/N,” He groaned, bringing her closer and kissing her cheek. “I’m sorry baby, but what do you want me to say about that? You know I can’t control them. I can only control myself, and I feel like it’s obvious that I’m doing just fine at it.” Y/N exhaled a sigh. Her hands were placed between them, and her fingers twitched nervously.

He released one of his hands from under her shirt to round to her front and up her face. He caressed her cheek while his thumb rubbed along her lips. Y/N smile sincerely for a moment, knowing he was trying to help her through her nerves so she could speak.

“Harry, this is a constant issue, and I just feel like I’m missing something,” She faltered. “There are always girls here at the house, which you can’t help so I try not to worry about that. But specifically Peyton, she’s always in your room. And I’m just worried about what goes on when I’m not here.”

Harry paused his finger. “Are you implying that you don’t trust me, Y/N?” He lifted a challenging brow at her. Y/N suddenly wanted to shrink up into a ball, simply from his expression. He was starting to get pissed. Trust was always a word that lingered over their heads.

Y/N simply shrugged and glanced away from his intense stare.

“I don’t know. I mean, yes, I do, but—“

“Why is there a but?” He interrupted her. “Why can’t you just trust that nothing will ever happen between me and any of them?” He brought his other hand to grab her face and force her to look at him. She had no choice but to stare back. “I don’t think you’ve realized that anytime I’ve been asked to fuck them or kiss them or do anything with them, none of those things have actually ever happened. Maybe because I don’t fucking let them, Y/N. I don’t want them.”

Y/N believed him. She really did. But she was dripping with insecurities. Everything she wanted, those girls had. And Harry had access to them. She became an overthinker that it made her forget everything about simple trust.

“So, if I never walked in, you wouldn’t have let Peyton massage you? Even though she’s your best friend and you guys used to do that kind of stuff all the time?” She asked. Harry immediately shook his head.

“Nothing was going to happen, baby. If you would’ve listened for a little longer and let me answer her, I would have said no and explained the boundaries we needed to set." He responded, irritated that he had to explain himself. Or that she had to pose the question at all. He was officially pissed.

“But why does she think she could do that? Why is her comfort level that high with you still?” Y/N shot at him. “Maybe you’re not making it known to every girl here how serious your relationship is. I just wonder if you have doubts about us or if you really want a full-on relationship with me. I’m sorry, dove, but it’s just what I think about.”

Harry paused, his face becoming unreadable. Y/N watched as it contorted to confusion, hurt, worry, sadness, then straight anger. Betrayal. “What the fuck did you just say?” He seethed, gently removing her off of him so he could stand up. Y/N followed, hugging herself, as he walked across the room.

“I’m not saying you are a bad boyfriend or anything, I just think that you sometimes miss the freedom you had before me,” Y/N shrugged.

What Y/N watched made her want to shove every single word she said back down her throat and to the depths of hell. She regretted everything.

Harry’s hands clenched and he sucked in a long breath. His eyes went dark and lost all the green that used to look at her with acres of love. That sight was gone and probably for a long time.

One of his hands dug into the side of his hip as it didn’t know where else to go. He turned away from Y/N, looking anywhere but her. He wanted to throw something or yell out a dictionary of curse words to let out the stinging feeling of anger boiling inside of him. But, he didn’t want to react like that in front of Y/N, though. As much as he was filled with betrayal and wanted her to see that, he would never act out with her around. So, she needed to go.

“Get out,” Harry ordered, his voice stern, trying to hide the rasp in his throat. It made her eyes widen.

“Wait, I didn’t—”

“Baby, I’m trying...” He sighed and shook his head, “I will only say it nicely one more time. Please, get out of my room,” His hand twitched as it pointed towards the door. Y/N waited a moment, her hands grasping each other. Harry’s eyes didn’t soften like she thought would happen if she waited. He was telling her to leave. He didn’t want her there anymore. Maybe a little space is what they needed for now.

“Okay. I’m sorry, I’ll go,” She whispered as she scurried away from him. But before she completely left, she heard the words she thought would never leave his mouth. “Y/N, we need to break up.”

Her whole body froze as her heart dropped to her trembling feet. They somehow brought her to Harry as she held his shoulders to get his attention.

“Harry? What?” She wavered. “What are you saying? Are you... wait I swear, I didn’t mean it.”

He closed his eyes and grabbed her hands from his shoulders to lace them with his own. He squeezed her hands softly. “Y/N, I don’t know. I think I overestimated myself. I’ll never be able to prove that all I want is you,” he huffed, still shaking. “I am so tired of trying to convince you that I can be trusted. You aren’t going to chance your views on me, so why am I continuing to waste my time?”

“Dove—”

“I’m done fighting in a battle I’ll never win at. I’m tired, baby. I can’t do it anymore,” He sighed, rolling his head in different directions. He slipped his hands away from her to turn his back to her. Without saying another word, he pointed to the door.

Y/N stood there, unable to process what he said to her. She suddenly dropped to her knees, and her head fell into her hands. She wasn’t crying, though. Nothing was coming out. She was stuck in a shock.

Harry glanced behind him and saw her quivering body on the floor as if she was dry heaving. She didn’t realize he moved until she felt him reach under her arms. He helped her back to her feet and used a single finger to lift her chin.

Her eyes were glossy as she sniffled and panted uncontrollably. “Dove, I’m sorry. Please, don’t say that. I trust you, I really do.”

"But, baby, you don't. I'm certain you don't. And that's fine, but I genuinely think this is something you need to resolve with someone else because I’m at a lost." His tone was monotonous. He moved his finger to her hair so he could brush it behind her ear. "I can't help you anymore. I tried, but I failed."

“You didn’t fail, Harry. I promise that you didn’t,” She shook her head, ignoring him repeatedly mumbling but I did.

They stood there for another solid minute, bickering back and forth whether he failed her or not. Harry grew tired.

“Y/N, I need you to leave now, okay? I just don’t want to be near you, right now, baby. I’m sorry,” Harry spoke, running his hand down her arm.

“Are we really done?” She dared to ask. “Please don’t say yes.”

Harry rolled his lips inwards and looked up. Y/N began to shake again as she covered her eyes with her hands.

“I’m sorry that there are girls who won’t stop approaching me, but I have only so much control over that. I don’t know how to change their comfort level with me, because they blatantly ignore what I say. But I can swear to you, and you can even ask them yourself, that nothing has ever happened. I wouldn’t let it, and I’m sorry that it isn’t enough to convince you.”

“It is, I believe you. I do. I’m sorry, Harry,” Y/N tried to muster up a smile.

He only shook his head. “Y/N, I love you, I really do. I don’t regret a second of what we had, but baby, right now, I don’t want this. You can’t trust me, and I know that isn’t entirely your fault. But I don’t know... I just feel hate. It’s not fair, and I don’t understand why it’s towards you, but it’s there.”

“W-wh-Harry what?”

“I hate both of us. I hate myself for not doing what you needed me to do. But I hate you for not listening to me, Y/N. And right now, I need you to leave.”

I hate you.

Y/N didn’t want to show up at Harry’s soccer practices to take photos as the team’s photographer anymore. She wanted to avoid him at all cost, because if she saw him, she’d lose it. But Coach James would know something was up and blame it on Harry, so she went anyways.

I hate you.

That day when she left Harry’s room, she didn’t cry, only mumbled questions of why. She asked why’s for everything. Why did she say those things? Why couldn’t she trust him? Why was she so insecure? Why did she hurt him? Why did she never stop and actually listen to him?

They were constant. She couldn’t focus. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t function. She couldn’t. Harry really made up the happiness in her life. And now it was all gone.

I hate you.

She hated herself too.

The first few practices after their break up, Harry only nodded at Y/N when she arrived. Her eyes would dart anywhere else as she already felt a knot in her throat. She subtly sucked in a slow breath to exhale out and relax her shoulders. For the remainder of the time, Harry kept his attention away from her as he knew he was the reason for her uneasiness. He felt really bad, so the least he could do was not taunt her.

But it was the next practice when Harry finally spoke to her. It was when they had their water break and Y/N was pacing near the path that led back to campus. She was contemplating if she should leave. It was hitting her hard, really hard. So, Harry snuck over to her to help. He still cared for her, that was never going away.

“Hey, b—Y/N,” He caught himself. Her eyes never left her camera as she played with the buttons to control her overwhelming feelings of stress. “Can I talk to you, real quick?”

She was surprised he was speaking to her, and even though it hurt to be around him, she wasn’t going to give up the opportunity to talk as it might be her last. She nodded and moved her eyes to his water bottle by his side. He still used the one with stickers sprinkled around the length of it. And her initial was still there.

“Honestly, I have no idea what I want to say, I just needed to check on you. How’ve you been?” He shifted his weight to his other leg. “Thank you for still being the team’s photographer.”

“It’s fine, and I’m fine. Just been—well, doing a lot of thinking, but when I get down, it’s nothing a little ice cream can’t help with,” She said playfully, but Harry still stared at her worriedly. So, she moved on with a cough. “I’ve gone to the lake behind More Scoops more recently to take pictures. It’s a lovely setting, no matter the hour,” She answered. Harry frowned at that.

“You’ve been doing all of this alone?”

She shrugged, “I don’t have friends. Your friends were my friends, so...”

“Y/N, you can still come to the frat to see Niall and everyone. They miss you, and I’ll stay away so I’m not a distraction. You are their friend without me,” He pushed her shoulder as if he was offended she would believe otherwise.

“Thank you,” was all she should said for him to drop the topic because she knew she still wasn’t going. Just being at the frat house was going to make her think of Harry, whether he was there or not.

The ex-couple stood together in silence, finally staring at each other. Y/N saw the gentle green in his eyes again. She thought they’d never come back, nor would he let her see them.

She wanted to ask him a thousand questions, mixed with a thousand more sorrys. But it wasn’t an appropriate time as she could tell he still wasn’t ready to forgive her. She still had more thinking and growing to do.

Coach James called the boys over, so Harry motioned behind him, not knowing how to properly depart from her without kissing and exchanging ‘I love you’. So, she helped him out.

“You can go, Harry.”

He opened his mouth to response, but suddenly shut his lips. He only nodded and jogged away.

For every other practice, Harry never spoke to her. He would sometimes glance at her during their breaks, but didn’t approach her like he did that one time. Y/N still had to take pictures of him so Coach James wouldn’t be suspicious, but he already knew something was wrong. Usually, Harry would pay more attention to Y/N than the ball when she came to his practice. And now, he could count on his fingers how many times Harry tried to get her to look at him. Zero.

He became a little ticked off because he believed Harry was the cause for Y/N permanent frown. Every smile was painted over a frown, none of them were genuine anymore.

Coach James waited until after practice to pull Harry to the side and question him. He had his arms crossed and shades over his eyes when Harry came out the locker room.

“Styles, come here,” He yelled for him. The group immaturely teased Harry for being called out, hitting him in the back as he moved through them. He only rolled his eyes and ran to his coach. Y/N had left as soon as he dismissed the boys to the showers, not even exchanging goodbyes. She darted away with her camera hanging sadly around her neck.

“Yeah, coach?” Harry was a little confused because nothing bad or amazing happened during practice.

“What’s going on?” was all he asked, rocking slightly. “I’ll be unbiased.”

Harry blinked in thought, wondering what story he wanted his side on. But it suddenly hit him so he awed with comprehension. Then, he laughed. "That's not possible. You’ll always see her as your niece.”

“Right now, she’s the girl that photographs my team. And you’re one of my players that I’ve seen a noticeable difference with,” He shook his head. “Now, tell me what’s going on because she sure as hell won’t.”

Harry groaned, before turning to face the turf field. As did Coach James, and they stood side by side. He didn’t want to be the first to say anything, but he knew Y/N could keep her mouth shut if she really wanted to.

“She doesn’t trust me, and I didn’t know what else to do to reassure her. I just grew tired of the fighting, and I need to prioritize myself sometimes,” Harry explained, rubbing the back of his neck. Coach James only nodded and looked over at him.

“I see,” He said. “So, you broke up with her?”

“Yes, sir.”

Coach James hummed and brought his attention back to the turf field. “Well, I can’t be mad at you because like you said, you need to prioritize yourself sometimes. And you tried to work through an issue, but in the end, had to step back. So, you aren’t in the wrong.”

Harry knew that, but to hear it from Coach James wasn’t all that comforting. He kind of wanted to hear that he did something wrong so he could finally feel bad about breaking things off with Y/N. But each day, he knew what he did was for the best.

“Okay.”

“You’re free to go. Thank you for telling me. See you tomorrow.”

Harry suddenly frowned at Coach James, parting his lips to speak. He lifted a brow at Harry’s hopeless expression and raised his shades to look at him clearly.

“Why can’t she trust me?” Harry asked, begging to get an answer from someone. “I really tried.”

“I know you did, Harry. You did your best.”

“But why?”

Coach James shrugged, and it only made Harry angry. Why couldn’t he get a fucking answer?

“I told her I hated her,” He admitted. Coach James’ face didn’t change.

“Did you mean it?” He asked instead.

Harry shrugged. “I loved her so much, sir. Even though I continuously explain myself to her, it wasn’t enough. She wouldn’t completely believe me when I told her that all I ever wanted was her. And I hate her for that.”

Coach James shared a few encouraging words to Harry, before excusing him to leave. Harry didn’t feel any better, only confused. And he wondered how Y/N was feeling too.

Y/N had finished her classes for the day, so she went to the dining hall for some food. She saw it as an instant mistake when she noticed Harry and his roommates at a near table. But he seemed happy as he laughed loudly with the rest of the group, and that brought a sad smile to her lips. He was okay. At least one of them were.

Niall happened to catch Y/N walking around in the corner of his eye and waved at her. The rest of their eyes turned to her, and she suddenly felt vulnerable. She didn’t want them to see her because like she predicted, would get his attention.

Harry frowned in confusion as the boys sitting across from him were looking in another direction. He shifted in his seat to follow their line of vision, but when he realized who it was, he only gave her a brief glance before turning back around.

I hate you.

Y/N’s lips began to quiver, so she shortly waved back and made a beeline to the other side of the dining hall. It had been a long time since she was there alone because she never ate without Harry. He always enjoyed being with her, and Y/N enjoyed it even more. God, she missed him.

She had heard footsteps coming up behind her, and she assumed it was someone going to the bathroom as she sat near the doors, but that person was there for her. Niall.

He sat across from her and smiled. “Hey, Y/N. Mind if I join you?” He asked.

“What about—”

“Don’t worry about them,” He said. “They’ll think I’m shitting and eventually leave.” Y/N actually laughed for the first time that week. Niall reached his hand out for her, and she sadly accepted it. “Can’t let you eat alone, now could I?”

“Thank you, Niall.”

There was a moment of silence as Niall sighed. He glanced over his shoulder in the direction of his friends, then looked back at Y/N. “He wants to be here with you. He hates when you’re alone. So, I’m just doing him a favor,” He shrugged it off. “But you’re also better to eat with than those idiots. Who gets pizza with broccoli on top?”

“Isaiah,” they both answered together, before laughing. Y/N tilted her chin down and rolled her lips inwards to contain her smile.

Harry glanced in the direction Niall had left to go to the bathroom, and where he secretly watched Y/N go to sit alone. But it had been almost twenty minutes and Niall hadn’t returned nor did Y/N disperse from there to leave.

“You guys ready to go?” Sage asked, getting up from his chair with his tray. The rest of the boys nodded and joined him. Harry followed behind, shuffling extra steps in search for Niall... and Y/N.

But before he walked any farther to the other area of the hall, Niall appeared with stretched arms. “Hey, fellas.”

“Oh fuck no, were you in the bathroom that whole time?” Flynn gasped as Niall took stalking steps towards him with his hands out, as if he didn’t wash his hands.

“Sure was!” He smirked, before chasing all of them out the dining hall. Harry watched with a shake of his head. Before he followed them out, he searched a little longer for one more person. But she was already gone.

As much as Niall didn’t want to, he had let Y/N leave, wiping tears on her sleeves as she begged to be alone.

Y/N paused, her hand resting against the frat house's door. She shouldn’t have come, but there she was. Two days had passed since Niall's brief pep talk, which had left her wanting to collect her thoughts. And now she was back at the taunting frat house. She knew Harry wouldn’t want to see her, but she had to try.

Some random guy had let her in, but wasn’t nasty like Marsh. He was friendly and told her that Harry was in his room, as he had been all day.

She was taking her time down the hallway, shaking her shoulders to let the nerves out. The thought of being rejected as soon as he saw her was lingering in the back of her mind, but she pushed through and continued to walk.

Y/N reached Harry’s room and instantly grew sick when another voice accompanied him behind the door. Her shoulders slumped and her legs were ready to pivot away, but her voice did otherwise. “Harry? It’s Y/N.”

The noises behind his door suddenly silenced, and Y/N became exceedingly nervous. Heavy pads of feet, which she immediately recognized as Harry’s, reached her and then the door swung open. And so did Y/N’s eyes.

He was there. His hands over his head as he held the doorframe above them, stretching the length of his naked torso. He wore his signature navy colored sweats—they had a matching pair—that hung low on his hips to reveal his v-line.

If Y/N wasn’t worried about who had seen the sight that used to only belong to her, she’d be drooling.

Harry sighed as he watched her shyly examine his body. When her eyes traveled back up to his and she realized he had caught her, she turned her head towards the stairs down the hall. “Hi,” she mumbled.

“What do you want, Y/N?” He huffed.

“Are you busy?” She whispered, motioning behind him. His naked chest wasn’t helping the anxious knot in her stomach. All of the boys were together playing videogames in the living room, but he was upstairs with someone else in his room. It wasn’t a good sign.

Harry glanced behind him before looking back at Y/N. With her eyes looking down, she didn’t see the smirk spreading on his face. “Maybe, depends on what you want.”

She nodded and sucked in a brave breath. Just say it. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay?”

“And I—” she fondled with the stitches along her jeans, “Um... I just wanted you to know that I didn’t mean what I said.”

Harry continued to eye Y/N intensely that she was burning on the inside. She felt her pits begin to sweat, and the thickness of the air wasn’t helping her breathe any better.

“Yes, you did, Y/N.”

“No, I didn’t. I shouldn’t have said that. I trust you, Harry.”

He rolled his eyes and took a step towards her so he could shut the door behind him. “You’re only saying that because you want me to forgive you. And honestly, Y/N, I’m still not ready to.” Her throat closed up and her eyes warned to water. She dug her nails into her palm to control herself. “You never trusted me and we argued about that constantly. I’m lost and I’m confused. You confuse me. And I’ll never understand why you never wanted to believe me.”

“That’s not true, I did believe you,” She sniffled so low that she could barely hear herself.

Harry chuckled, “Did you? So, were you not there for half of our arguments? How naïve do you think I am, Y/N?”

She rolled her lips inwards and shook her head. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. It was inevitable as her vision became a blur. She didn’t trust her voice to hide how close she was to breaking down.

This was a bad idea. She needed to leave.

“Y/N, you assume that I want every girl that even looks at me. I always have to defend myself because you jump right to conclusions.”

“No, I—”

“Shut up! Let me talk!” He snapped at her. Y/N did just that, but it was too late. Harry was over the conversation. “Never mind, you are still as stubborn as always. I’m done. I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you. Just leave.”

She wanted to fight for him. She wanted to stay and talk things out. But the look of hatred that stuck on his face as he glared at her was too much to handle.

Her breathing became shaky as she nodded and whispered an okay. She made her way to the stairs, feeling his eyes hard on her back.

Before she could make it to the end of the hall, Harry called out for her. She touched the wall to steady herself and looked back.

“Yes?” She asked with a hint of hope as she stared at his genuine smile.

Before she was completely crushed.

“There is a girl in my room, and I would tell you what we’re doing in here, but it’s not like you’d believe me, right?” Y/N’s eyes widened. “Like I said, I’m tired of explaining myself to someone who will never listen.”

The door was shut to his room before she could react. She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until her throat begged for air.

Y/N raced down the stairs, ignoring the boys’ calls of her name, and out the front door. She ran as fast as she could to anywhere but that stupid fucking frat house. Her legs wouldn’t slow down, and she didn’t want to.

Her heart was heavy. So heavy. She didn’t know what do to or where to go. If she went back to her dorm, she knew the boys would find her there, and for the first time in a long one, she didn’t want to be found. She wanted to be alone. And quiet.

Y/N scooped her spoon full of ice cream and let the cold taste numb her throbbing heart. She was at a lake nearby the campus. It was a good hiding spot because no one knew she went there besides Harry. And she was for sure he wasn’t looking for her. He was busy.

She lifted up her phone for the tenth time to skim the messages across her screen.

niall: where are you y/n? i’m at your dorm

niall : i’m worried about you

niall: he didn’t mean it

niall: y/n it’s okay

niall: just let me know you’re alright

No.

Y/N set her phone back down on the grass and sighed at the sky. It had been almost two hours and the day was soon to end. Y/N had no intention of leaving, hoping that the day could take her with it to yesterday. She didn’t want to move on with everything else. She wanted to pause in that moment.

Alone. With ice cream. And the painted sky. She grabbed her phone to take a picture and smiled at the results. It was beautiful, why would she go home when she could be here?

While still in her hand, her phone began to vibrate. It was the hundredth time, and Y/N was getting pretty aggravated, She knew it was Niall without even looking at the contact name.

“Hello?” She asked with a rasp in her voice from all the crying she did earlier.

“Y/N? Oh my god, where the fuck are you? I’ve—”

“Niall, please. Just leave me alone.”

“No, you need to tell me where you are, right fucking now. I’m serious, Y/N. I swear on everything—”

“Behind More Scoops there is a trail that leads to a lake,” was all she said before hanging up her phone and dropping it back to her side.

She really didn’t want to see anybody, but Niall wouldn’t leave her alone.

It only took him seven minutes to race to where she was. He was panting loudly as he plopped down next to her. He fell back and yelled.

Y/N sniffled a laugh and glanced over at him. “You okay?”

“You’re the actual worst. I’ve been so worried and here you are—eating ice cream by a lake,” He snapped, hitting her in the thigh with every word. She laughed again and hit him back.

“I needed to get away,” She shrugged.

“I know you did, but you didn’t need to be alone,” He snapped back. “You never had to be. This whole time, we’ve all been trying to comfort you, but you push us away. Stop doing this alone when we’re here.”

“I like being alone.”

“Well, I don’t,” Niall argued back. “Fuck Y/N, what happened today?”

She shook her head, not wanting to relive that moment again. Niall silently understood and didn’t push it for a few minutes.

“He needs you, Y/N. I don’t know what that idiot needs you to say to him, but please keep trying.”

“I did.”

“I know, but don’t give up on him because he hasn’t given up on you. He’s on the verge of forgiving you, I can tell. I know both of you want to be together, so save each other,” Niall sat back up to look at her seriously. “Save him like you did the first time. He needs you more than ever.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

Niall sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Y/N, listen to me,” He grabbed her hands to hold in between the both of them. “I don’t want the Harry ‘before you’ back. Yes, I missed him at first, but after I met the Harry ‘during you’, I never want the old one back. That is the best version of Harry there is, Y/N. Not the one before or after you, the one during you.”

“It’s too late, Niall,” Y/N looked away towards the water shimmering in the lake. “I messed up bad.”

“It’s not, though. You are doing everything just right. It’s working. I talked to him after you left and I could see it in his eyes. He fucking misses you. He knows you’re sorry and wants to trust him. He’s just being a stubborn fucker, so I need you to pull him out of it. Just one more time, Y/N. I know he’ll break,” Niall pushed her shoulder.

She gave him a hard glare, before hitting him. “How are you so sure? He would’ve have hurt me like he did earlier if he wanted me.”

“Are you willing to finally trust him?” Niall asked.

“Of course, I am. I always did, I was just insecure. But he’s right, I had no reason to because nothing ever happened. I’m just an idiot.”

Niall shook his head. “First off, you’re not an idiot because he should’ve taken your words into consideration if he cares so much about you. If you wanted those girls at arms-length with him, he should’ve found a way. So, stop beating yourself up so much, okay?” Y/N finally smiled.

“Thank you, Niall.” A weight had been dropped. Niall got it.

“Now, if you want to really trust him and to finally get over your insecurities, then mean it. Let him know what needs to change and compromise. Get it through his thick fucking skull that you guys can work this out. “

Y/N sniffled and covered her eyes to cry in her hands. Niall reached over to rub circled around her back. “I’m sorry, I don’t—”

“Don’t apologize, you’re hurting. Let that out, it’ll help.” Y/N nodded and leaned into him. “He’s going to listen this time, Y/N. He wants to listen. Trust me. He’s hosting a party at the frat right now. He hasn’t done that in a long time. We need your help.”

“I’m scared, Niall. He hates me.”

“Not as much as he loves you. God, Y/N, Harry is so fucking in love with you. He needs you bad.”

Y/N opened her eyes and looked up. She gazed at the dusked sky. “I need him too.”

Y/N was at a frat party. She never attended those. Especially without her roommate by her side, but she was so desperate to find Harry that she pushed through.

The house was loud and reeked of alcohol and sweaty bodies dancing against each other. Y/N needed to find Harry and fast.

Her low voice tried to excuse her way through the crowd, but no one even acknowledged her presence; a good and bad thing.

As the host, she knew Harry wouldn’t be locked up in his room, so that made it a little more difficult to find him. She asked around at first, but no one seemed to know where he could be.

She had made it to the backyard when she finally found him.

He was against the wall of the house, talking to an unfamiliar girl. Y/N was relieved from the distance between them, and that Harry was shooing her, every time she tried to reach for him. He was facing Y/N, so she could see the disinterest in his eyes, and she hoped that would help her get him alone.

She pushed through more people who seemed to be deliberately making it difficult to reach him, which furthered her determination.

“Harry!” She yelled, but the speaker hanging above him deafened her voice. She groaned and hurried her feet as she watched the girl motion her hand down his chest and to forbidden territory.

What felt like forever, Y/N finally reached the two, and when Harry noticed her furiously approaching them, his eyes widened. “Y/N?!” He gawked. Y/N clenched her teeth as she shoved the girl’s shoulder to get her attention.

“What the fuck?” The girl gasped as she whipped around to face Y/N. There wasn’t a noticeable height difference, so the girl’s met eye level. “Who do you think you are, bitch?”

Y/N knew she couldn’t take this girl as she had no fighting experience, but in the moment she didn’t care. She only took bold steps towards the girl so their chests touched.

“Stay away from him,” she growled darkly, trying her best to keep up her brave persona. But she was dying on the inside. Why the hell did she do that?

“Excuse me? Who even are—”

“Stop!” Harry moved in the way to break up something that was bound to happen. He grabbed the girl’s arm to yank her back so he could step in between them. Y/N felt a pang of pride as Harry stood in front of her with his back to the girl. “Y/N, what the fuck are you doing here?”

The girl huffed loudly, “Do you know her?”

“Yes, and we’re leaving,” Harry looked at Y/N as he spoke to the girl. He pointed to the house and Y/N nodded, before walking away.

She felt Harry close behind her as he muttered under his breath. She was a little ashamed of her actions, causing a scene like that when the girl technically did nothing wrong. But winning Harry in the end made it feel okay.

“Do you want to explain why you’re here and what the fuck happened back there?” Harry asked as they walked down the hallway to his room. Y/N’s shoulders tensed from his fatherly tone, so she shook her head. “Well, you’re going to tell me anyways, so figure the answer out.”

Y/N paused at the entrance of his room, remembering what happened the last time she was there. She suddenly grew hot as a layer of sweat formed along her forehead. The hurtful throb of her heart was back, and she needed out. Anywhere, but there.

“Hey, you okay?” Harry asked, moving to stand in front of her. He heard how hard she was breathing so he took another step closer to get her attention. “What? What’s wrong? Look at me, baby.”

Darting her eyes up at him, she shook her head rapidly. Finally face to face with him again, Y/N wanted to break down. She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Harry, I’m so fucking sorry. I—I’m sorry for not trusting you because I had no reason not to. This is all my fault. You can’t control every single girl that likes you, and I should’ve—”

“Wait, you’re talking so fast, calm down,” Harry laughed, but Y/N shot him a dark look that he instantly stopped. “I’m sorry, go on.”

Y/N sighed as she remembered to slow her words down. She was still heavily shaking. “I want to be with you forever, Harry. My life before you is nothing compared to what it was when I was with you. That feeling I get every time I’m around you is so euphoric that I feel so selfish for only wanting to have it for myself.”

Harry only blinked at her. So, she kept going.

“I’m so fucking stupid, I wish I never said those things. I swear I didn’t mean it, you’re an amazing boyfriend and I know you only wanted me. You were doing everything just fine, it’s all me. Everything is my fault.”

Y/N started to hyperventilate, overwhelmed with her spilling words. Harry became concerned as her eyes filled with tears and her voice grew raspy. He reached out for her, but as much as she yearned for his missed touched, she put her hand out to stop him.

“No, I’m fine. Let me finish.”

“Y/N—”

“Harry, I miss you so much. And I don’t deserve you back, but I’m begging you to forgive me. If you want to start off slow and maybe just be friends, I’m so down for that. It’s completely fine. You need to trust me again. I get it.”

He sighed, “Y/N, I’ve always trusted you, and I still do.”

She only groaned and covered her eyes. “Don’t say that, I feel like even more shit.”

“I’m sorry.”

She dropped her arms and looked back at Harry. His arms were crossed, still willing to listen to her, and she was going to use the opportunity to the fullest.

“I’m insecure, okay? I know that, and I’ll work on it. I just... I love you so much, and I’m possessive, and I don’t know how to control myself, so I take it out on you,” Y/N finally admitted out loud, surprising both herself and Harry. “It was a horrible thing to do, but I promise, I’ll talk to you. I’ll communicate, and I—I don’t even know. Just... I’ll do better. I’m gonna do so much better. I’m truly sorry, Harry.”

He tilted his head to the side as he stared at her. His tongue rolled over his teeth, and Y/N was dying in anticipation.

“This whole thing... this is the most I’ve ever heard you apologize. You never do that,” He mentioned.

That wasn’t what she expected him to say, but she accepted it. “I know, I’m gonna work on that, okay?” He nodded and swayed. “I’m going to do better, please don’t give up on me, Harry. Fight for me again, I won’t let you down.”

The words he had said to her continued to cause constant pangs of hurt in her heart. “Please don’t hate me, Harry.”

His eyes suddenly softened as his lips parted. “Fuck Y/N.”

“If you really don’t want to forgive me, then I’ll learn to accept that. But, I’m begging you to not hate me.” Before she could say anymore, Y/N’s hand covered her eyes to hide the tears that spilled out the corners.

Harry took another step so that their chests finally touched. He held Y/N’s jaw and that was enough for her to break down completely. She continued to apologize and Harry simple smiled at her. God, he fucking loves this girl.

“Y/N?”

“I’ll do better, Harry. I’m sorry, I really am,” she cried, looking back at him.

“Will you let me speak?”

She shook her head and continued to cry. “I don’t want to know your answer. I can’t do this. Just know, I’m sorry. I have to go.”

Y/N escaped his hold, before racing towards the stairs. She needed fresh air so she could breathe properly. Her head was spinning and she could drop at any moment.

But what she didn’t expect was a familiar call of her name. Harry ran quicker than Y/N and grabbed her waist, pulling her into his warm chest that she missed all too much. His lips reached her ear as he laughed.

“I’m the athlete here, baby. You can’t outrun me,” he joked, pinching her sides.

“I need to go. I shouldn’t have come,” she shook her head, trying to wiggle out of his grasp.

“No, we’re going to talk about this. You said it yourself that we are going to start talking.”

“I can’t tonight, Harry. This is too much.”

“You’re being stubborn, Y/N. It’s annoying me.”

Y/N turned in his hold with her doe eyes, looking up at him. His thumb brushed her lips as he smiled at her.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.

“I know that, baby. You told me that already,” he chuckled, before leading her down the stairwell. She expected him to take her back to his room.

“Wait, where are we going?” She asked as he wrapped an arm around her while he pushed through the crowd.

They made it to the front door when he decided to answer. “You’re overwhelmed, it’s a hectic and loud party, so we’re going to your dorm.”

“Oh,” She nodded.

There wasn’t much exchanged during the ride. Harry had grabbed Y/N’s hand sometime during the drive and rested their laced fingers on her thigh. His thumb brushed the back of her hand as he hummed under his breath.

Every time he glanced at Y/N, her eyes were trained on the passenger window. He could feel how stiff her hand was, and it had a slight shake. She was so nervous, so Harry brought them to his lips.

“It’s okay, baby,” He whispered in the silent car, before pressing a long kiss to the back of her hand. “We’re going to be okay.”

Y/N sniffled, still not looking his way. But from the dark sky and the luminated lights of the buildings they passed by, he could see her reflection. And the most hopeful smile sat on her lips. Harry kissed her hand once more, before bringing them back to her lap.

When they made it to Y/N’s dorm, Harry led the way with their hands still together. She allowed him to drag her to her suite, before shutting the door behind them. His hand slipped from hers so he could approach her desk, examining the space he hadn’t been at for a while.

“Sorry, it’s messy. Didn’t think you’d stop by,” She tried to chuckle, but it sounded like a rough sigh. Harry only shrugged as he walked to stand in front of her with wandering eyes. They finally fell on her, and she felt on display. Even though she was completely clothed, she crossed her arms over herself to hide whatever he was looking at.

“I missed it here,” Harry said. “You moved our picture,” He motioned to her desk, noticing the missing frame as soon as he walked in.

Y/N’s eyes widened. “I did, I’m sorry. I just thought that—”

“Stop apologizing. You don’t have to explain yourself,” Harry interrupted her, swiftly pinching her side. Y/N squealed, before frowning at him. “I just happened to see that it was gone. I don’t have to know why you took it down if you don’t want to me to.”

“I’m sorry,” She repeated for the thousandth time. Harry rolled his eyes, which made her want to repeat her words again. So, she moved on and asked a question. “Can we be friends?”

Harry cocked a brow up at her. “Friends?”

“I mean, I don’t know if you want... well, a relationship with me again. But I’d really like to be your friend again,” She swayed nervously in her spot.

Harry snorted while running his hands down her arms. “That’s considerate of you.”

“I just want to try again, Harry. I feel really bad for hurting you.”

“I’d like that too, because I, too, am sorry for hurting you,” His hands found hers again. “I’m trying to understand how to firmly create a distance. I just don’t want to come off as an asshole, ya know?”

Y/N nodded, “Everyone loves you. It’s not your fault.”

“It is, though. But I’m going to work on that,” He brought her knuckles up to his lips and continuously switched to kiss both.

Y/N hesitated to ask her next question, but she was desperate to know. “Do you still hate me?” She asked cautiously.

“Will you learn to trust me?” He lifted a brow at her. Her eyes instantly widened as she rapidly nodded. Harry laughed and reached for her cheeks to stop her. “Then, no I don’t. And I’m sorry I said that to you.”

A pile of relief spread across her as all the stress shed off her skin. She wanted to cry. And she did. She had a full on melt down.

Harry continued to hold her cheeks while he wiped her eyes as tears wouldn’t stop streaming down. She repeatedly apologized for being a mess, and Harry only nodded with a loving smile as he looked down at her lovingly.

“You’re so sensitive, baby,” he chuckled. “It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” she sniffled as Harry’s thumb closed her eye to wipe another tear. “I can’t stop. I don’t know what’s happening.”

Harry caught Y/N completely off guard by kissing her nose before nudging his against hers as a ‘butterfly kiss’. Her eyes were widened as she stared back at him, bewildered by his bold move.

It only made her lip quiver again.

“Y/N—“

“Shut up, stop. You’re making it worse,” she complained through more sniffles. “I need to leave.”

“We’re at your dorm, Y/N,” he laughed heartily. “And I’m trying to calm you down so you’ll stop crying. I don’t like seeing you cry. Even though you still look very pretty.”

Y/N was overwhelmed, and downright confused. Did he love her again? He was being very affectionate after wanting nothing to do with her not too long ago. It made Y/N think that he wasn’t affected by her anymore. He didn’t feel anything towards her as he touched and caressed her.

His feelings were somewhere else.

“What are you thinking about now?” Harry asked. Her tears finally stopped, but the sadden look across her face worried him that more were soon to come.

“Is there someone else?” She dared to ask.

Harry’s hands continued to hold her cheeks as his thumb trailed along his favorite features of her face. “What do you mean?”

“Another girlfriend,” she gulped. Harry lifted a brow at her, and her hands came up in surrender. “Oh shit, I didn’t even consider that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw myself back at you like this.”

“Y/N,” He laughed.

“No, It’s completely fine, if so, Harry. I’m happy for you,” She lied right to his face with a forced smile. But he could see right through her.

Harry slowly smirked and dropped his hands from her face to cross his arms over his chest.

“Are you?”

“Yes, of course. She’s lucky to have you,” She nodded. “I really fumbled, haven't I?” She tried to joke, but it only made her lips quiver again. Harry nodded, trying his best not to laugh in her face. She was so cute.

“You did. I was an amazing boyfriend, Y/N.”

She didn’t response at first, only fiddling with her fingers. She wasn’t expecting to be in a new situation. Harry was now taken. And not by her.

“Well, congratulations,” She said, stringing with lies. “Uhh, can I just ask for a favor? You can honestly just ignore me and do it anyways because I have no—“

“Y/N, just say it.”

“It’s just that I’m there all the time, so I don’t know... it might be a little awkward. Not that it matters because you can do whatever—”

“Goodness, woman. Speak,” Harry planted his hands on her shoulders and shook them. “Spill it.”

“More Scoops. Will it be okay if you don’t go take her there? Like on a date? It’s just that it used to be our—the spot we went to.” She somehow got out, looking anywhere but at him.

“Y/N—“ Harry was done messing with her.

She assumed he spoke her name in offense and gasped. “Oh fuck, that was such a stupid question to ask. God, Y/N,” she scolded herself, slapping her hand over her forehead. “Oh my god, please pretend I didn’t say that. Of course you can get ice cream with her. What the fuck is happening to me? I need to go.”

Harry stopped her immediately, leaning down so they were eye level. “Baby?”

“Yes?”

“Stop trying to run away,” He smiled at her.

“I’m embarrassed, I’m sorry I said that. Just forget it, okay?” She pleaded. Harry grabbed her jaw to turn her head towards him so their eyes had to meet.

He wiggled his brows at her, “Guess what, baby?”

“What?”

“There isn’t another girl. Never has been, lovie,” He admitted, standing back up straight.

“But you said—“

“Wanted to hurt you a little. I apologize.”

Y/N blinked, before nodding slowly. “But the other day in your room. That girl.”

Harry instantly cringed and shook his head. “Yeah, that was weird of me. We were working on an assignment together, and I ordered pizza, which I somehow got on my shirt. I was in the midst of changing into a new shirt when you arrived. It was just horrible timing, and literally nothing else happen,” He explained. “Again, I just wanted to hurt you, but I went a little far. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, it’s okay. I deserved that. And you succeeded. Congratulations.” Y/N stuck her hand out for Harry to shake. He threw his head back to laugh, making Y/N frown.

“Stop validating what I did, Y/N. You can be mad.”

“No, I can’t. You are single, and it’s none of my business what you do in your room. If anything happened, you aren’t in the wrong at all. Don’t worry about me,” Y/N rambled, hating each word she spoke.

Harry placed his hands on his hips. “Well, good thing we don’t have to be worried about an if because there wasn’t one at all. Wasn’t thinking about her like that. I never did, never will. I don’t want any girl on this fucking campus, lovie. Are you finally understanding me?”

“Oh, that’s cool. The single life is nice, I guess. No need to settle down, I get it,” she rocked back at forth. Harry sniffled a laugh at her oblivion.

“Let me change my statement. “I don’t want any other girl on this campus. Know why?”

“Why?”

Harry grabbed Y/N’s cheeks and leaned close enough where their lips barely touched. His voice dropped to a whisper. “Because I’m really into this stubborn, insensitive, arrogant—“

“What?!”

“But amazing smartass. And to add to my luck, she also happens to be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. She’s all I want.”

Y/N eyes lit up. “Really? Am I forgiven?”

“Of course you are, baby,” He shrugged. “I just need you to learn to trust me, is all.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.”

“I know you are.”

Y/N hesitated her next question. “Do you still love me?” He smiled widely and wiggled his nose against hers.

“Never stopped, Y/N. I can’t stop. I’m obsessed with you.”

She sighed. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Maybe so, but fuck it. I love you, baby.”

“Can I hug you?” She asked shyly. Harry chuckled and easily lifted her up in his arms. Y/N immediately relaxed in his grasp and wrapped herself around him. “I’m going to be a better girlfriend. I mean, well, if you’ll have me. You don’t have to. We can take this slow. It’s up to—“

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“I’m gonna kiss you now, and when I do, we are going to go right back to the way we were. Okay?” Harry smirked.

“But did you hear me? I’m gonna do better. For you, and for myself. I trust you, Harry. I do,” She said, tangling her fingers in his hair.

“Good. And I believe you, baby.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How many more times are you gonna say it? I’ve already forgiven you.”

“Are you sure you want to? I don’t want you to hold in any anger you have against me. Just get it out, I can take it,” She sighed.

“You’re adorable.”

“Ew, no I’m not. Loser,” Y/N blurted, before her hand immediately covered her mouth. Harry knew how much she hated being called adorable. It was always used in a teasing way back in grade school. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“There’s my baby. I missed her.”

Harry brought her close to capture her lips with his. They both sighed within it and Harry moved to her bed to lay her down. He settled himself between her legs and caressed her face. He stared down at her with his teeth sunk into his bottom lip.

Y/N looked back up at him and shyly smiled.

“I love you so much, Y/N L/N.” Before he could let her answer, Harry brought their lips back together for a long, very long kiss.

Eventually, their make out session caused their clothes to strip off their bodies. Harry’s hands touched Y/N everywhere as he was desperate to make up all the wasted time he could've had her skin against his fingertips.

When Y/N’s lips grew tired, Harry situated her to lay down on her side, in front of him. The covers were rested loosely against their hips, their entire top half exposed to the cold. “I got you, baby,” He whispered in her ear as she subconsciously pushed her ass against his hardened cock. The plush of Harry’s lips earlier had caused arousal between her legs.

His hips sharply bucked back in response, a deep moan graveling from his throat. One of his hands grabbed Y/N’s top leg to lift and push to her chest, keeping her still, while the other traveled between them to get a hold of his cock. Sensitive to the touch, he moaned against Y/N’s ear and thrusted in his hand.

Harry lifted his head to see Y/N’s eyes tightly shut and lips parted as she anticipated what was coming. She was spread open and dripping for him. “Ready, baby?” He asked, kissing her cheek. Y/N nodded and opened her eyes to look down as both of them watched Harry line himself up. He pressed his tip to her entrance, before letting go to turn Y/N’s head in his direction. Her eyes met his and he smiled while slowly pushing into her.

Y/N immediately gasped, wanting to look at where she was being filled up. But she couldn’t move her attention away from Harry’s face. Her arm reached behind her to find his hair, her fingers pulling at his curls.

Harry moaned loudly, catching himself by biting his lip and hiding his face in the crook of Y/N’s neck.

“Fuck, you feel so good around me, lovie,” He groaned, starting at a slow pace. Y/N head pushed back into the pillow, her eyes rolling in pleasure.

“Harry please,” She whimpered. His hand was still holding her leg up so he had more space to thrust into her. His cock disappeared into her, before slowly sliding out and pounding back into her—allowing her to feel each stretch his cock did to her walls.

His free hand eventually found her breasts that were jumping wildly. He grasp one of them and squeezed before doing it to the other.

Y/N wanted to cry. From the relief, from the pleasure, from the love. She felt his love again. Nothing was hateful as he pushed his cock into her and moaned her name in her ear. When he whispered, “You’re the only one I want to feel around me like this forever,” her eyes welled up.

She tightened her grip in his hair, afraid that he might disappear if she wasn’t holding onto him.

Harry’s head lifted again to watch Y/N. He stared down at her with his jaw agape and releasing raspy moans. She couldn’t speak as his thick and lengthy size reached her stomach. And with his slow pace, he would push into her and keep himself deep inside her for a few seconds. She could feel everything, and it was so good.

“You’re clenching so hard, baby. Look at your leg, lovie. Look at it shaking. Does it feel good? My cock so deep inside of you?” Harry pressed his lips to her ear so she felt his hot groaning breath.

Y/N glanced down at her shaking leg that Harry continued to hold up. It was trying to close as he kept her spread. “Harry,” She whined for him again.

“It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you, baby. I always will.”

She suddenly felt a tear form in her eye. “I’m sorry,” She whispered, closing her lids shut. Harry noticed her wavering voice and slowed himself down to focus on her.

“Y/N, it’s okay. We’re okay, right? I love you, baby. Don’t cry,” He said, before leaning down to kiss all along her face. Y/N nodded and sniffled. “Open up, let me see your pretty eyes, baby. Let me know you’re okay.”

She slowly opened her eyes at looked over at him. He was smiling between every kiss to her face. Harry knew what would help her, and as he changed the angle of his thrust, he hit a certain spot.

Y/N gasped as she grabbed onto Harry. “Oh my... fuck Harry.”

“I know, right on your sweet spot, huh baby?” He chuckled as her hips moved on their own. His pace grew faster as he could sense both of their releases. Her walls were tight around him and became slicker with every thrust.

“I’m close,” She said between a loud moan. She laid her hand on top of Harry’s, which rested on her breasts.

“Yeah? You’re gonna be a good girl and come on my cock?” He asked with a slight growl. Y/N nodded. “You’re so good to me, baby. I need to feel you come so bad. I’m gonna be right behind you. Can’t hold it any longer when you feel this good around me.”

Just from his words, Y/N was able to come. Her head threw back as she moaned through her orgasm. Harry continued to pound into her, chasing his own. He brought his mouth back to her ear so she could hear every noise that left his throat.

“Fuck, I’m coming, Y/N. Fuck, fuck, oh fuck!”

Releasing deep inside her, both Harry and Y/N moaned from the pleasure. They were panting loudly as they came down from their highs. Harry found her lips again to embrace her in another long kiss.

He eventually had to let her go so she could use the bathroom, and he could clean up. But when they were back on her bed, changed into pajamas and seconds away from sleep, Harry held Y/N against him.

“I’d like to ask you officially to be my girlfriend again, even though I don’t have any Ring Pops,” He said, referring to how they started dating the first time when Y/N exchanged Ring Pop rings with him. She laughed softly and nodded.

“I would love to.”

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