#i also just dont like ppl seeing me depressed so i pull myself away
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blxnc · 9 months ago
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Hope you're doing okay
im so late to answer this gomene
im more okay than i was, took a break to sort things out, won’t go into deets but i just had some pretty consistent arguments with family that really got to me bc trauma brain. thank u for checkin on me, i thankfully am built to take a lot of hits and still get up :)👍
i wanted 2 say i was just taking a break earlier but i was p emotional at the time and didnt trust myself. thank u friend <3
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papers4me · 3 years ago
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Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)
“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.
This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  
This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).
-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:
I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:
His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!
He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.
It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.
There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.
- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :
While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:
wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)
trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)
clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)
hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)
The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.
Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!
-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:
Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!
(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!
by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!
(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:
I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )
(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.
(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!
(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”
(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!
3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!
Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:
kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)
kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).
kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)
kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.
Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.
kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”
So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!
4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):
As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!
if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?
But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.
The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!
5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):
When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~
Side Notes:
This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.
kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T
this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.
The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!
Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!
I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!
kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T
I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.
The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!
I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.
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mbti-notes · 3 years ago
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Anon wrote: hi i was wondering if stuff like anxiety could affect your personality. i believe i have social anxiety, which makes it hard for me to socialise and maintain friendships. i also tend to distance myself from friends sometimes because i feel like i no longer relate to them.
i know i use Se a lot but it's hard for me to tell if im a dom or aux user. i have been typed as isfp a lot but i often do amoral, "easy way out" things and my guilt only triggers if i sense i have upset someone, it makes me fearful if i have upset them.
when meeting people, i feel as if i become disingenuous to make them like me, like the nicer they are to me, the nicer i want to seem to them. and i feel bad if i am not able to do it. when ppl like the 'fake' me i pull away. sometimes i distrust myself and dont know what to think, which makes me indecisive, because my past decisions have not worked out well for me even though i believed in them.
i can plan my time and i hate wasting time and not being effective. but the thing is, even if i have anxiety, im not insecure abt myself, i know i have good stuff in me. i tried to break out of my anxiety by getting a job outside, but i became more anxious and it made me tired and prone to depressive feelings at night.
my mum believes im selfish because i find it difficult to care alot abt others, like i empathise with their struggles but i cant see myself doing anything that might help them in the long run. similarly, my teachers find me irresponsible because i do what i like, and it's hard for me to put extra effort into things i think are pointless, like math, though i do what is required of me, i just dont go for consults, etc, because im not "concerned".
i had a similar experience in sports, where i knew i couldnt do that, but my teacher forced me and i refused and he told me i had an attitude problem, which made me very upset. i wonder if it's just me taking the easy way out.
--------------------
The problem is that you're trying to address too many things at once.
1) Type assessment: As far as I can tell, you have not used any reliable method of assessment. If you want my help with it, you must follow the instructions on the contact page. If you don't, I can't draw any conclusions about what type you are. I don't like to guess at things.
2) The F functions are not equivalent to morality. F functions make decisions based on values, that's it. Whether or not you are a "moral" person is not dependent on type but, rather, your psychological maturity. It sounds like your understanding of morality and how it operates in relationships is rather immature. That doesn't tell me anything about your type, but it does indicate a low level of ego development, as explained in the Type Dev Guide.
3) Social anxiety: If you suffer social anxiety to the point that it holds you back from living life in the manner that you hope to, then it is considered a serious problem and requires professional help. You should get a professional diagnosis and, if necessary, obtain treatment. The process will allow you to learn more about yourself, which, in turn, will help you assess your type.
4) Unproven connections: Social anxiety doesn't change your type, but it can inhibit type development and it can be a symptomatic expression of long term function development problems. So far, you have neither proven that you are ISFP nor have you connected your social anxiety to the ISFP functional stack in any logical way that I can see, thus, I would treat the two as separate until the connection is proven. It sounds to me like you have several misconceptions about the functions (i.e. too stereotypical) and, for whatever reason, you don't want to accept counter-evidence against Fi.
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transrightsjimin · 4 years ago
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more ranting abt welfare benefits hell
sorry for whining so much abt income on here, i know it should just be easy nd solveable by applying more for jobs, but the literal issue is that i have no skills or confidence (latter is according to my friend, but the way i cant envision handling any jobs well is jst the truth??) nd still havent gotten any help from the municipality w getting consulted by someone w more knowledge on the job market nd maybe being pushed to take on shitty jobs that at least perhaps pay better than mail delivery. it’s jst so frustrating how i requested welfare benefits over 4 months ago but it only counted since 3 months ago bc they kept fucking up w the requests, promised a payback for the lost month, but didnt, i believe?? now december we got nothing nd probably also january bc our ‘income was too high‘ for the minimum.
uh i side tracked nd forgot where i was going before, but i meant to say tht HALF A YEAR AGO i also requested help w getting help w jobs but bc bureaucratic bullshit it took until DECEMBER to get the help approved. and they would get me a contact person ‘surely before christmas, don’t worry!‘ and then they didn’t and replied they hadn’t forgotten about me and will surely help soon and i’m just. so fucking anxious about this all??
my parents help me financially w cash they gave (nd some of which came from my grandmas) (nd no im not happy w that bc one of them is doing worse financially but still wants to give it away, nd the other is dead nd my uncle gave her left over money to family which feels ironic bc hes a millionaire but only gives a bit from his dead mom??) so that i can buy groceries bc me and my friend’s paychecks + welfare benefits can only cover rent + food and so not also other bills such as for healthcare that i have to make payment plans for. and even w help w groceries i still end up in the negatives, especially last month bc we ‘made too much‘ to receive something. i dont even dare to sell clothing or anything online for money bc that’d only mean ‘income from hobbies’ they could see i have and thus more reason to get stripped from this too.
and that is just the whole issue!! the municipality runs all these checks and forms and calls and appointments and documents you need to hand in, but there is NO calculation determining what you actually need. instead, based on the type of household, we were categorized as fiscal partners without children who receive the benefits together and thus we receive benefits (in the months that we do) to add it up to the ‘living minimum‘ €1500 in total. this amount does not cover our actual expenses, nor does this match inflation or how social housing has been broken down as a system and that real estate owners can increase rent prices as much as they want. there is a monthly grant that tenants could receive for renting a home, but only if it is an apartment AND below 752,33 euros per month (which is when it is considered social housing, above that it’s the ‘free market‘), and that is just virtually impossible?? but we were not once asked if we can actually pay anything and the people meant to help us w benefits just don’t fucking get flex work contracts or how our income over a certain month is received way later in the month after that. like they have a stable job and just dont fucking get that it is not designed well for us.
i think my anxiety over this issue has gotten worse ever since the news came out that a dutch woman on benefits got a €7000 fine because her mom did groceries for her and that’s considered fraud??!! she couldn’t afford food so her mom bought groceries for her but that is also considered financial compensation and thus she got this huge fine, which she probably cannot afford and the fucked up thing w fines from institutions is that they ask interest over it if you don’t pay it in time or enough of it, and give more fines and even charge fees for something like you receiving a letter and they’re just free to pull this shit bc it’s a for-profit business. and that’s how ppl end up w debt and huge loans. it’s just so infuriating nd i really dont want a fine or lose the right to benefits. even though i prob wont get it for a while bc of my friend’s job that tends to make our incomes together reach just the ‘living minimum‘. i have this bill of €250 for adhd diagnosis, then monthly bills for meds that are €76 of which i can receive most back and ‘only’ need to pay €25 from it, then theres an orthodentist bill of around €92 bc i forget this insurance company still counts from back when i was w it the first time nd orthodontist stuff gets insured up to €1000 and that amount was used up like 10 years ago nd they still count like that despite me having had a different insurer in between.
i just need a stupid fcking job nd i hate to whine abt this bc theres so many ppl in much worse situations who ‘take initiative‘ nd start looking for jobs, but AGAIN  i have no ‘basic’ skills like being able to listen and understand words well nd fast or show the right facial expressions or have good memory or dexterity or be able to answer difficult questions or focus on reading etc etc, nor do i i have an idea what job i should or could do.like i fcking need an income, moreover i need a break, im in this fcking burnout since like 2013 and in depression since at least 2004 lmfao but it’s never been recognized as bad enough by specialists bc im not suicidal, but it’s also not good to the point where i ever know if i felt ok. also just. i feel like i did use to have a bit more confidence in myself in high school but it all got sucked out of me in art college (bc horribly bigoted teachers + students and being taught that drawing well is in fact not at all important in the domestic market but rather being INNOVATIVE and NETWORKING and also COPYING is the way to success!! like not kidding, thats what teachers told us) nd by my parents (bc i became older nd didnt spontaneously do all these chores or jobs despite having no fcking clue how bc they never taught stuff). like i just dont know how ppl live comfortably w themselves and know what its like to be themselves nd not feel bad nd anxious abt everything
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badwolfwrites-sometimes · 4 years ago
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Drawn Together: Chapter 16
I may or may not have forgotten to post this chapter here for a while... Anyway, there are 5 references to other pieces of Hetalia work, see if you can get them all right. 
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18923374/chapters/57211975
♡~Feli~♡: Ludwig
Ludwig: Yes?
♡~Feli~♡: Im sad
Ludwig: Why are you sad?
♡~Feli~♡: Mirror me is ugly ♡~Feli~♡: I have these dumb fat cheeks and this stupid baby face and this fat body ♡~Feli~♡: No matter how hard i try i cant lose them ♡~Feli~♡: Ill never be manly enough for girls to like me
Ludwig: Feliciano are you crying?
♡~Feli~♡: Ofc im crying ♡~Feli~♡: I just look so dumb no wonder ppl call me stupid
Ludwig: Okay, take a deep breath Ludwig: You only look ugly to yourself because you are crying Ludwig: You aren't dumb and you aren't ugly Ludwig: And I am pretty sure there are some girls out there that will like you Ludwig: Have you eaten anything today?
♡~Feli~♡: No ♡~Feli~♡: Im already fat enough i dont deserve more food
Ludwig: Feliciano Ludwig: Losing weight isn't about not eating at all Ludwig: Not that you have any to lose, you look perfectly fit in your pictures Ludwig: Once you stop crying go eat something Ludwig: You will feel much better
♡~Feli~♡: But ill still be fat and ill still have this stupid baby face
Ludwig: They are alright Feliciano Ludwig: They are barely noticable Ludwig: Now will you please go eat something
♡~Feli~♡: Okay
Ludwig: Good Ludwig: I am worried about you, do you think we could have another video call?
♡~Feli~♡: Let me dry my tears first
Feliciano took his time calming down. He made himself some tea and grabbed the leftover pizza from the fridge. Today, he was alone in the house, a feeling that worsened his melancholy. There was no one to hold him and cuddle him and tell him that things are okay. There was no one to yell at him and tell him to pull himself together and do something useful in life before whispering to him that he's beautiful. Feliciano craved those moments today.
He didn't even warm up his pizza before eating it like it was straight out of a famous Italian restaurant. His tea left forgotten as he dined, only the soft smell of cinnamon strong enough to calm his nerves down. It wasn't the time to be depressed, he had Ludwig to talk to. Finishing off his pizza, he grabbed his tea and retreated to his room, turning on Skype.
♡~Feli~♡: Okay im calm you can skype me now
Ludwig: Alright, let me just turn on my laptop
A few minutes later, Feliciano got the Skype notification on his computer. Accepting the call, he was met with the usual Ludwig business, bringing a smile to his face.
Ludwig was dressed properly, nothing too fancy, but also not in pajamas like Feliciano was. His hair was neatly slicked back and his room as tidy as always. Same couldn't be said about Feliciano.
On top of wearing pj's all day everyday, Feliciano was tightly wrapped up in a thick blanket like it was in the middle of winter and not plain old May. His eyes were still noticeably red and puffy, but Ludwig wouldn't comment on that even if it killed him. To add to the sad wintery atmosphere Feliciano had going on, between his hands, he was cuddling a colorful cup covered in stars.
Said cup was the first thing Feliciano noticed Ludwig was staring at. "Do you like it? I made it myself when I was a kid." He smiled.
Ludwig nodded, clearing his throat. "Yes. It really fits you, I must admit."
Feliciano giggled, feeling a bit of a sting from his eyes. He will probably have a headache in the morning.
"Are you feeling better?" Ludwig continued. "Did you eat anything?"
Feliciano nodded. "I had some leftover pizza so I ate that. And now I'm drinking tea to feel good about myself."
"Good. That is good."
"I guess."
"Do you feel better now that you had something to eat?" Ludwig asked, his concern for Feliciano noticeable in his voice.
"Yeah, I think. Sorry I worried you like that."
"Don't be. If anything, I am glad that you spoke to me about it. I know how you feel. I was a chubby kid too."
"How did you lose weight?"
"I didn't. Growing up, my weight just transferred into muscles and I trained for a while. None of it went away."
"Well, that's comforting." Feliciano sighed sadly. "I can't keep a training schedule to save my life. Especially now that I am out of school and do nothing all day."
"You just need something to push you to do it." Ludwig said. "How about a dare?"
"A dare? Are we playing truth or dare?"
"We can if you want to."
"Okay. What's your dare?"
"I dare you to do 3 pushups every day for the next month."
Feliciano nearly spat out some of the tea he was drinking. "Three?! I can barely do 1!"
"It is a dare, you have to do it." Ludwig almost smirked.
"Only if you do something as well."
Ludwig was about to start regretting his decision. "What is it?"
Feliciano thought hard for a while, before coming up with a challenge long and hard enough for Ludwig to do it. "You told me once you weren't much of an artist."
"Yes." Ludwig was definitely regretting playing this game.
"I want you to paint me a picture of what made you happy that day. Every day. For the next month." Feliciano smirked.
"Does it have to be a painting?" Ludwig meekly asked. "You know how busy my schedule is."
"No, but it has to be colorful. And I want them sent to me by 11 p.m. ever day."
"You really like challenges, don't you?"
"You dared me first. Now you have to do it too."
"Fine." Ludwig relaxed in his chair. "It is my turn I believe." He took his time thinking about the perfect question. "If you could only see one color for the rest of your life, which one would it be?"
Taken a bit by surprise, Feliciano thought for a while, looking around to spot a color which stood out the most to him. The sea was calm today, that got his attention, so calm it was almost calling for him, so, so very... "Blue." He said out loud, without realizing it.
"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." Ludwig's voice pulled Feliciano out of his trance. "I would like to see brown mostly."
Feliciano's face almost twisted at the word brown. Why brown? It doesn't even stand out that much in nature, it's just darker orange and an ugly mix of colors together. "Why?"
Ludwig smiled. "My dogs are mostly brown." Well that explained a lot.
"I should have expected that." Feliciano laughed. "My turn. Have you ever had a girlfriend?"
An awkward question to ask Ludwig, Feliciano noticed. His cheeks have gotten a shade or two darker than usual, something that would probably go unnoticeable if he wasn't so pale. Regardless, Feliciano just had to know.
Ludwig breathed in. "No. I don't even have a female friend that isn't family to me."
"You've never dated?" Feliciano asked in surprise. And Ludwig was so good looking?
Ludwig shook his head, slightly embarrassed. "I get it that I haven't, but you? Look," Feliciano started, "when I come to Germany, we'll go hunting for ladies so that neither of us are single ever again, okay?"
It was no use in arguing over girls with Feliciano, so Ludwig just gave in. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway?"
"Is that the next question?" Feliciano asked.
"Yes."
Feliciano thought for a bit. "I think it's because I have multiple personalities living inside of me." He pointed to his chest. "One is your regular flirty Italian, the other is a sad bastard and the third one is just a huge lesbian."
Ludwig laughed, but Feliciano continued. "I think we all have a female part inside of us, mine just happens to like girls more than normal."
"Okay, if you say so." Ludwig still had to recover from his laughing fit.
"Also, lately I've been having these strange dreams. Like, one time I dreamed I was stuck in a dreamworld and it was all really beautiful and nice, but I would die if I stayed for too long. And you were coming to save me." Feliciano rambled. "Would you come save me from the dreamworld, Ludwig?"
"Of course I would." Truth to be told, Ludwig wasn't following Feliciano much.
"Aw, thank you. Anyway, that's not even the weirdest. I dreamed about this guy Steve one time, only he wasn't actually a guy but some alien creature. And he had this big mansion and I was stuck in there and I couldn't escape and it was so horrifying." Feliciano shivered at the memory of his dream.
"I must admit that it does sound horrifying. Especially if you happen to be claustrophobic." Ludwig said. "Now that you mention it, I've been having some strange dreams as well. And for some reason, you are always in them."
That peaked Feliciano's interest. Not that he wasn't interested in the first place. "Oh, I wanna hear! I wanna hear!"
"Well, one time I was a pilot during World War 2 and I was stationed in Italy and I met you, but then something happened and I had to leave. My plane crashed and I was imprisoned and you came to save me, then..." Ludwig stopped. "I don't recall what happened next, but it ended nicely, I think. I just remember flying a Messerschmitt Bf 109."
"Mrs. What?" Feliciano asked.
"Messerschmitt. It was a German fighter plane in World War 2. It was a rival plane to Spitfire and had a yellow nose."
Feliciano laughed. "I'll forget it's name, but at least I'll know it had a yellow nose."
"That is all you need to know." Ludwig continued. "Then I had another dream and it was poker themed. I was the king of hearts and you were my queen. That is pretty much all I remember from it."
"You must think so highly of me to make me your queen, I'm flattered." Feliciano giggled. "What do you think these dreams mean?"
"No idea, but I wish I knew. Maybe, they represent our bond with each other as friends."
"Maybe. Maybe they are telling us of our past lives and all that. Like your war one."
"I want to stop you because if you start talking like that, we will never leave the topic of dreams."
Feliciano laughed, glad that Ludwig was listening to him by stopping him from going too far with his talking. "When will you come to Italy, Ludwig? We could have so much fun."
"As soon as I have some more free time, I will pay you a visit."
"Yes! We can go on tour of Rome and I could show you the Colosseum and The Pantheon and Bocca della Verita and I could show you our beaches and we would have so much fun!"
"You sound like you have already planned everything out."
"That's just one possibility. I could give you a tour of all of Italy if you want. You just have to come here first."
Ludwig attempted his nicest smile. And failed. Feliciano was so excited about all of this. "Would you show me the Rialto Bridge as well?"
It would be a lie to say Feliciano's eyes didn't glow at this point. "Of course I would! And maybe you can bring your girlfriend, if you get one in time, and you can do the kiss scene from the book! You can even get married! Can I be your best man, please?"
"You will have to fight Gilbert for that position. I doubt he would just give it away."
"Gilbert, you are a worthy opponent. But I must take you down for the sake of providing myself the glorious Best Man position." Feliciano delivered the speech. "I can do best wedding speeches, I think Gilbert is already losing."
"We will see." Ludwig laughed. "But wouldn't you want to be your brother's best man?"
"I'm the odd one out, they got each other. Aside from you, I don't have much options on who else to have as my best man." Feliciano sighed.
"Well, that is really sad. I probably won't marry at all, so if you get married, I can still be your best man." Ludwig said.
"Really? You'd do that for me?"
"Yes."
"But what about Gilbert?"
"I admire you for believing that he would get married, but I doubt that would be the case."
"Harsh truth." Feliciano laughed. "I hope Lovi can get married. If not here, he could get married somewhere else."
"One day it might be possible."
"One day when the world isn't as hateful as now. I think he'll hate having to be married outside of Italy."
Silence fell upon them, just as the front door of Feliciano's house slammed shut. A soft, but loud voice could be heard. "Feli! I'm home!"
"Romeo is home. I'm not alone anymore." Feliciano commented.
"Do I suddenly not exist?" Ludwig asked, a bit offended by Feliciano's statement.
"No! I meant that I'm not home alone anymore. Don't go anywhere, I'd be sad if you stopped existing." Feliciano corrected himself.
A sound of footsteps coming up the stairs could be heard, but Feliciano failed to hear them.
"I won't be going anywhere then." Ludwig said, just as the door to Feliciano's room opened.
"Hi Feli." Romeo greeted. "Who are you talking to?"
Feliciano jumped slightly as the door opened, but smiled to his brother. "Ludwig. Come say hi."
Romeo did as he was told and greeted Ludwig. "Hi Lud."
"Hello." Came a response.
"Feli, nonno said he'll be coming home the day after tomorrow. We should probably prepare Lovi just in case." Romeo said.
"Good idea. I'll be down when we're done and we can plan the thing out." Feliciano responded and Romeo left him to wrap things up with Ludwig.
"So nonno is coming home soon. Which is bad. And we need to prepare Lovi for it. Which is worse." Feliciano explained the situation to Ludwig, seeing as the latter didn't know much Italian.
"I see. Basically, you get to be a pigeon again." Ludwig remarked.
Feliciano laughed, partially glad Ludwig still remembered that from a couple of months ago. "Probably. Maybe it works out okay in the end, but I doubt it."
"I am here whenever you need me. Except when I am at college or at work, but other than that..."
"Thanks." Feliciano laughed. "I gotta go. Me and Romeo have to plan this out carefully."
"Before you do, it is Romeo and I. Remember it."
"Yes, yes, Romeo and I, okay. Talk to you later, Ludwig!" Feliciano said, waving goodbye to Ludwig.
"Good luck!" Ludwig simply said and gave Feliciano a small wave before ending the call. They talked for good 3 hours, but to Feliciano it only felt like a couple of minutes.
He walked downstairs to discuss things with Romeo. Getting his brother and grandfather in the same room again won't be easy and Feliciano just hoped it would turn out okay in the end.
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unclejuho · 6 years ago
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sf9 in london event + concert experience ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
this is my 5k essay on what happened 190512 // enjoy reading!!!
so i got to the venue at 11pm the night before bc i was so stressed by the other concerts (ppl at la started lining up at 6pm??) i really wanted to be near the front since im coming all way from the netherlands anyways i better go big or go home!!!! so like i waited there for an hour amongst other fans who were still waiting from a diff concert and when they left other fantasy arrived so we started queueing up. i rlly have to thank sf9 uk casue they were so nice to me and they kept letting me use their hotel next door to let me go to the bathroom and change ♥️
i ended up getting nr1 (or nr21 ig isbdhs) so!!!! we did it LMAO succesfully got a good spot even though my feet and butt were dead by the time anything even happened,, its so hard to wait for 16+ hours to go to a concert but its sf9 so who cares about health 🤡 we didnt get knifed and a lot of ppl came up to ask who the fuck we were waiting for hdbshsh it was so funny
so i started handing out my juho stuff ofc and ppl seemed to like it!!! so im glad haha eventually even i didnt have any anymore so i was happy ppl liked it!
skip to like 1pm which is when the members arrived at the venue, i was a lil late noticing cus i was waiting for those signed narcissus albums but i ran to the front anyways n saw youngbin chani tae leave the van (like what they posted in the travel preview) so that was!!!!! jdbdbsb they were so unbothered it was so cute so i went to get my albums and came back to line (i got all hwiyoung pcs oshshah) 
also there were so many other fans handing out fanmades it was so sweet the entire atmosphere was fantastic bc everyone was nice to eachother, rlly everyone i talked to was super sweet!!! also so many fansites with slogans or fans so i went broke once more but it was all worth it theyre so pretty...
at like 4.30 was the special event which lmao i rlly was so tired and i got sooo nervous i had my already signed fanfare from mwave bc if ure gonna sign any album it should be fanfare (looking at ALL the ppl that gave them narcissus) sooo us 20 were led upstairs to some sort of bar area and they had a long table w water bottles so we had to wait a lil while the staff checked our signed items if they were ok and then we had to form a line to wait (they were late) i met another dutchie so that was nice hdhshsh
finally the members walk out and im shaking bc baek ju is the first to enter the room!!! he was wearing that leopard sweater and i didnt even hate his mullet seeing it upclose...
jae was wearing that stupid unbottoned shirt skbssbsb and he came in giving ALL the fanservice like him and inseong were here for the entire thing osbdbsb the other members just sat down and sociaized with eachother like yb kept being adorable and pulling faces at the table it was everything and i couldnt see rowoon bc ppl were standing in front of him but i was!!!! shaking already bc whos idea was it to start off this event with fucking rowoon lmao is like immediate heart attack! ju was last which was oof...
so i had like ideas of what i wanted to talk abt w each members but lmao??? i didnt talk abt any of it to any member my mind was so shook...
first up was rowoon and he just hdhshsh???? the eye contact of this man and just seeing him upclose was so intense tf he rlly was.. so gorgeous n bc of his hair up his eyes looked even bigger n shimmered and the pics rlly dont do him justice... so the first thing i said was wow so handsome bc why not.. i was gagged indeed hdbdbsb he said like woooow our debut album and you already have it signed oabdbs i didnt explain the entire mwave thing bc wud he understand haha but he opened n he saw the pic of himself hes like what do u like better me now or me here??? me being myself im like fanfare bc ur hair down is so cute oahdhshs i rlly not a narcissus hag anyways but fanfare was best rowoon as always... so rowoon did his sign and i asked him to do sky castle impersonation he didnt understand so i just repeated sky castle he was like ah the voice thing im like yes cha minhyuk isbdbsh so he did the fucking thing and i was dying lmao great to have seen it in the flesh ofc...
after rowoon was taeyang and taeyang!!!! was so hyper and attentive like hdnsb whenever u see him in vids hes usually very casual but he was soooo sweet and he too was like ahhh fanfare he took a while to say but he said his heart was still in there hdhdhsh so i was 🤧🤧 i just asked tae if he was doing okay or if he wasnt feeling tired and he said he was doing great bc i was there im like dying hdhshsh so i said yah me too!!!! 
jae was after taeyang n jae was jdhshshs soooo into it i know korean fans say ppl change biases to jae after meeting him and i have to say i can see why!!! i didnt rlly know what to say to jae beforehand but he said oooo i really love london and im like haha i dont like it here im like im from the netherlands so he was shocked he said thank you for coming to travel here and he held my hand isbdbsbsb
next was inseong and... the eye contact level was sooo severe he rlly threw all into it hes like hi thank you for coming so much so i was wearing this shirt w a 🥩 on it and im like inseong do u like my shirt bc i know u love meat iahdhahsh so he was laughing n said yea wow this is my favorite shirt oshdhshs rlly had me going LOL he asked if it was my first time seeing them im like yea but im going to korea in the summer tho oshdhshs he said that was great n asked how long i was staying for,,, so im like im going a month so he asked why i was going so long im like im going for u!!! hdbshsb he gave me some hearts and i moved on ndhsbsab
so chani was next up and he looked so shy,,,, im sad bc i forgot to say everything i wanted to say to him at the beginning and i was just like chaniiiiiii and he laughed and signed my album before i went i quickly pushed in a URE MY FAVE DANCER n he highfived me hdhsbs
so youngbin was next and i... lmao... i was weak haha he just read my name hes like hiiiii gia im here being depressed saying HI YOUNGBIN I LOVE U SM thank u sm for everything u do for us and i shit u not my eyes like tearing up oshdbsbs yb asking me how im feeling im like YEA GREAT tears in my eyes oabdbs i rly couldnt speak otherwise id actually have them roll down my face so i just nodded and moved on iabsbs
hwiyoung im so sorry... i was still emo from yb and i even forgot to say happy birthday like pls hit me... hwi cheered for the fanfare album and im like yess hwi i love ur hair here i love the blonde;; hwi thanked me for coming 
next up was dawon and jdbsbs i came in saying hi fantasy president so he said yeeee fantasyyyyy and hes an unbothered legend oabbdhssbn he signed quickly and within a minute i was away again jdhdhs
so juho.. my god oshdhshwh hes so:((( pretty let me breathe liek... i came there im like juho i love u oahdhshsh hes just nodding his way going to sign my album and he drawing that heart stickman so im like i have a question can u draw— hes like this is my signature drawing LUCKILY i drew the jucasso next to my name so im like pointing at it being like lmao boy we dont want this heart flop bdhdhsh so he quickly drew it and i said i hope u feel better soon and i was off again,,, rlly dawon and juhos signing went so quick...
so we moved on to the pictures and they were grabbing the chairs and ju was standing all way back at first but then no members went to sit on the chairs oahdhs so JUHO THE MAN WENT FOR THE SEAT NEXT TO THE MIDDLE HDHSHSH and hwi on the other side and jae behind so im blessed like juho... he rlly did it... hdhshsh i quickly go to grab one of my banners bc im like bitch i gotta fucking rep for it now otherwise i wudnt know a pose anyways oahdhshs so i quickly took off my glasses as well
so its my turn im going up and sitting down and like handing this banner to ju and hes like ???? oh???? he quickly reads it n was impressed hdbsb so there was one pic and tae was sitting next to ju and wanted to read what was on the banner so he turned to us but then we had to take another pic so he had to turn back quickly again oahdhshsh and then i had to go again but as i walked away ju was explaining to the members what was on my banner so i :(((( 
after everyones picture was taken they said goodbye and waved and inseong stayed behind a lil to joke abt drinking beer (i rlly hate him but also me?) and then they left and we got our merch bags n went back downstairs
so i quickly ran over to my bestie to tell her abt it before realizing we had to line up to go inside for the concert so i was like stressed running away i rlly almost lost my first spot LOL but we were let inside the venue i had like 50 bags but i ran to the front and BLESS IT there was like tiny space left at the left side which is were i wanted to be bc juwoon!!!!!! so i rly did get barrier thank god i could put down all my bags as well and the fantasy next to me were great as well!!!!
// i’ll add the concert later as im tired rn and this is already 5k osjbhdbhjas
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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years ago
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its just wild idk how to say the experience of just like...it being a wholeass fixture in your life that you’re gonna off urself...i guess in earlier times (almost been aware of being suicidal for a whole decade babes) it was also that i just...like assumed that my future was gonna involve some whole disaster that was going to wreck the whole damn thing idk. like i always knew i didnt have the kinda situation where i had somebody to fall back on no matter what & i did very much know that i had the kinda situation where if it looked like the identity ppl thought i had fell through and it turned out i wasnt thriving in all of this and actually just kinda miserable and on my own, instead of having ppl who would be There For Me No Matter What i had the ppl who would want nothing to do w me except for further beat me down..........so yeah i guess ive been feeling like my future was only Doom since like 12 def...maybe earlier if you look at it idk its like wondering when i was starting being depressed fulltime. probs like age 3 idk
anyhow the point is....hard to explain what its like having the constant sense that you don’t have a future thats good & in your control & something you want, or that even exists right. like sometimes i imagine thinking abt the future in the ways that other ppl might, in the way that you assume you’ve got a good while and that there’s things you’ll get to do that you like or you’ll pursue your ambitions or whatever and its weird i think about it for like 3.3 sec and its like tf.........its like when you get some kinda Aroma Memory where your brain remembers that smell from 18.6 yrs ago & you have a 0.62second window to try to think of where its from while you have some fleeting visual/emotive memory.......sometimes i’ll just have some kinda emotional echo from a less depressed life and its like ?????? havent had this feeling in this exact way for a minute. its weird its like lol this doesnt belong to me anymore..
anyways for another solid like.....6-7 yrs its been kind of “i’ll be surprised if i make it another yr alive” with various ups & downs in that level of surprise along the way.....more like a Down lately lmao its wild how impossible it seems to make it a few more days or weeks when youre having a worse day than usual, having an on avg Worse period that lasts for months & months and etc is just....wild baby. if you havent felt it for even a day its not something you can really imagine. if u know what its like to feel like ur gonna die for a longterm period then you know what it is..
like always, maybe this is my year baby!!! in terms of death. if im thinking abt maybe this is the year i suddenly Succeed on all fronts and i never again have to think about kms, then that’ll be a struck-by-lighting, same-shuffled-card-deck-order twice in a row, sheer chance out of nowhere. your life isnt steered towards goodness because you’re good enough or Only As Much As You Can Handle or anything and ive been too deep in it this whole time to have ever been set up to not get the rug pulled out from under me several times over and yknow once you fall down even once, unless you’re really solidly backed up, the odds arent in your favor about not getting continuously run over the rest of the time. wind isn’t really at ur back there.
like im so glad abt every person ive run into who ive had in my life for more than like 5 hrs and im lucky that i was at least born recently enough to have had the internet/texting mostly regularly from 14 y.o. onward.....if i didnt im sure i wouldve been......even so much more isolated than i was. l o l . . . . ive got to feel like some ppl care abt me which is nice and didnt happen too much before then. its also good i draw lmao coz besides for the most part thats how i talk the best & how i get in touch w most of the ppl who end up sticking around enough i talk to more than like a couple of times.....but tho of course ive never like, found arbitrary success in terms of either my own solo financial boon to transcend any and all problems or ever just like bonding w a bunch of ppl like ride or die for life baby. coz like.....why would i do either. if you werent born into financial stability, let alone wealth, and if you didnt just happen to pick up these deep unshakeable relationships along the way at times when it didnt really matter.....good luck picking those things up further along the way when stuffs even shittier. i may’ve been lucky w the internet/texting timing but i wasnt lucky w the financial crisis hit or really just being born after the 80s, economy wise......or lucky w being isolated socially since age 4 and always having to feel distanced from ppl coz i could sense the difference & stigma of being someone abused & miserable before i was even really that self aware of the extent of those things about me.........oh well. coz again w the internet and me happening to draw enough prior to age 14 that i was always considered “good” at it, and then finding that i like to draw fanart for myself lol....so i could at least connect w ppl some ways right. or via text posts sometimes lmao....and im lucky that the ‘net / having a phone gave me a medium for those things & being connected to some ppl. and im lucky im gay & not cis & got to figure that out & enjoy it coz thats the best thing abt me.......
anyways even if say life was perfect for me magically i still wouldnt be able to relate to seeing yourself pursue your ambitions coz like i always say...ive never really had those lmao. wasnt able to baby.....its like there’s always that idea that ppl whose life is defined by Survival, who’ve been exposed to trauma &/or abused, that if you drop them into a safe stable situation w/friends and all and whatever then suddenly they’ll be a “regular” person, like there’s some inherent core of everyone where they Know what its like to get to live in a healthy environment w a certain perspective on other ppl & how they’ll treat you, and if you just remove someone from bs they’ll just shift over to that Default that is like oh lol yeah im like everybody else. like nah its a whole different kind of world / life you’ve not even necessarily adapted to, maybe its what you grew in. and you can adapt to a better life & grow further in that but its not a matter of like “washing away” what came before....it can be an entirely separate thing. like if you haven’t experienced it you cant imagine it. i cant give someone a real sense of what its like to grow up within & live in an abusive place for decades. and i can’t guess who i would be if i’d grown up / lived in a completely different, better situation. coz thats a whole fundamental change from the start. it’d be such a different person that it wouldn’t even make sense to call it an alternate version of “me.”
well anyways i always feel like i’m bound to kms & that bad things are impending sooner than later & when they happen i’ll get a new set of incoming bad shit to feel bearing down & etc & i dont have things i want except a cessation of living under dread & feeling like my existence is in the way & theres ppl around i gotta be on my guard for & i’m only gonna kms eventually here, theres a long lifespan & for being to off yourself at any given time, also im jealous of ppl who’ve had a nicely sized friend group where they’ve always been able to hang out w one person at least whenever they wanted to / needed to. at least i’m gay, baby. i honestly do feel like that tweet where its like i cant kill myself b/c what if im a straight guy in my next life? @ god i cant do it. like lmao for real though......in my past life maybe i was an 80s gay. syke if i have a past life it was probably a cat. maybe a cat of an 80s gay. i can only hope
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iloveapocalypto-12 · 8 years ago
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(tyler x reader)
word count: 1,128
You were recently on one of marks video for a skit! And you were so so proud of being apart of it. You and the squad helped design this skit. People on twitter were only spouting positivity about it!
Amy warned you about not looking at youtube comments. That even though theres positive comments on twitter there is so much shit on youtube. But you thought maybe you would see advice or more positivity. You just wanted to know you were doing something right..
You realized it was a mistake as soon as you scrolled down the video to the comments…
“Ew wttff lol that new person?? Theyre so fuckin annyiny” “Their face is fuckin grosssssss why did mark bring This Person on…. Fuck that bye” “This skit is so dumb MARK YOURE BETTER THAN THIS” “Dhdidbekdb that new persons voice is so fuckingggg annnnooooyyijnnggg lolz why”
“dude the fucking new person is awful they should kill themselves lmaooooo” “????? that new person is super attached to tyler wtf bitch tyler is mine lmao fuckkkk offfffff bitch” “i hope that new dude isnt on the next video,.,,, theirrrr baadd”
You cant stop reading them. Tears fall down your face as you feel your whole body trembling. You physically feel your temperature rising. You try to rationalize but end up making no sense as you fight them in your head. “WE WORKED SO HARD ON IT!!! I have a cute laugh!!! Mark is great and and and… Why am i letting this get to me. Why do i fucking care..”
Next thing you know you’re curled on the floor in one of marks bathrooms. You’re hugging a towel and thinking of all the negative things you’ve ever heard. You are trying so hard to not cry loudly because everyone is home. There’s a knock on the door. You realize you fell asleep on the bathroom floor. You don’t know whether to answer or not. You don’t even know what time it is. You decide not to answer and quietly wipe your face and you feel your face is still warm.  “I NEED TO PEEEEE!!” Ethan yells. You let out a giggle. You gather yourself, this isnt the first time you’ve faked being happy. You let out, “Just a moment dude, i’m finishing up. And isn’t there like I dunno 4 other bathrooms in this house??” “MARK CLOGGED THE TOILET IN ONE AND FOR SOME FUCKIN REASON HE’S VLOGGING IN ONE! AND KATHRYN IS TAKING HER NEEDED BUBBLE BATH! ARE YOU DONE YET  I NEED TO PEE I WILL PEE ON THE FLOOR IF I HAVE TO!”  He genuinely makes you smile. You flush the toilet even though you didn’t use it. You wash your hands and face. You look in the mirror and realize your face is still puffy. “I’m done blue boy” You unlock the door. Ethan opens the door so fast and he doesn't even look at your face. You feel relief for a second but then you remember the comments. All you feel is negativity. You think of another place to hide and go to a closet after grabbing a comfort blanket. 
You get a text from Tyler. ‘hey babe, you ok? i just got back from the gym and Amy said she hasn’t seen you all day’
You start off a text ‘LMAO YA JUST FUCKING CRYING IN A CLOSET BECAUSE PPL ARE FUCKIN DILLWEEDS SO YEPPERS EVERYTHING IS PRETTY FUCKIN NEAATTOO BEANITTOOO’ You delete it all and decide not to answer. You don’t want to take your anger out on him.
You hope he just knows he needs you because you dont want to admit you made a dumb decision. You go back to thinking of all the negativity. You know that just one person can’t cure your depression. You think maybe youtube wasn’t meant for you if you can’t even handle these comments. You have gotten these kind of comments your entire life. Images of being bullied flood through your head. You bite your hand trying not to cry more. 
Then the closet door opens and light floods in. You look up and it’s Tyler. His face drops and you can see his heart breaking. “Babe, babe” He doesn’t know what to say and just sits down. He crawls next to you. “Did you want this door closed?”
You nod. He closes the closet door shut and puts an arm around you. He lays his head on your shoulder. His adorable curls stick to your wet face. “Ew, oh god sorry.” You chuckle as you immediately feel safe with him.
“Who do I need to punch?” Tyler’s defensiveness makes you smile so much. 
You don’t know how to reply. So you just hug him and you bury your face in his chest, feeling his heart beat. You feel at home with him. You two have only been dating for four months and things seem so right especially in that moment. Even though you’re crushed with so much negativity. And you know that he won’t cure your depression. But he makes you want to be a better person. 
Tyler kisses the top of your head and rubs your back gently. “Do you want to talk about things? Or would you rather me shut up and listen?” You hear the sadness in his voice. He cares so much about you.
You nuzzle your face in his chest and try to find words but just end up dramatically inhaling as you let everything out super fast. “I-did-a-bad-and-thought-it-would-be-good-to-read-comments-but-im-stupid-and-awful-and-i-hate-myself-but-also-i-hate-other-people.... im sorry” You squeeze Tyler harder hoping he doesn’t let go.
He pulls away and your heart drops into your stomach. But he cups your face and you can feel his stare and stern face. “You are not stupid. Those people are dumb fucks.” He pauses searching for words. Tyler’s eyes start watering. He hates seeing you hurt. He opens his mouth to start a sentence but closes it and sighs, “People suck, yeah. But not everyone. I mean Mark sucks dicks,” He smiles and gives a shaky laugh and he can feel you smile in the dark. “People have too much time. They are jealous and have only negativity in their lives. But they don’t know you like I do. And yeah you get negative sometimes... But you are my sunshine. And I don’t hate you one bit. And one day... You’ll see yourself the way I see you. As the most beautiful and amazing person in my life.”
Tyler kisses your forehead lingering and you feel a tear drop on you. And you smile feeling the love he radiates. You giggle “I guess you could say im hashtag Smiling Alwayss aayyy ayyyy,” You feel his lips turn into a smile and he chuckles at your dumb joke. 
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shyloft · 8 years ago
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18 Questions about Music
i was tagged by @slampoety !!
1. Which bands/artist do you own the most albums by? physical albums? infinite i think lmao bc it was like Cool to get the physcial kpop albums bc they came with like?? cards with the members on them? and posters? but i dont know if thats still cool to do im assuming so. nobody really does album packages like korean bands tho lemme tell u 2. What was the last song you listened to? rn i’m listening to the rab version of holding on to you which is like....the fourth time ever in my life hearing it probably like i know this is the og but this is wrong. good but still wrong 3. What’s in your CD/Record player right now? well my copy of electra heart by marina and the diamonds is sitting right on top of it so im assuming it was that. from like. 4 years ago. 4. What was the last show you attended? twenty one pilots in north little rock just this month!!! my mom and my sister drove up there with me and @sweaterdun and it was so fun i’ve never traveled to see a band OR seen a band twice on the same tour like that before it was such a great opportunity this band has been so good to me i love them 5. What was the greatest show you’ve been to? TWENTY ONE PILOTS ERS2016 ST LOUIS 8/2 god. God it was so good i cried twice and i went with my best friend it was the best night of my life so far? like? i cried in the middle of guns for hands because i just couldnt believe i was there and it was so good and i barely stopped crying enough to enjoy tyler flopping around in the hamster ball. and i cried during goner and planned crying through trees but then tyler started talking about waffle crisp 6. What was the worst show you’ve ever been to? gosh idk like? probably some bands i had to go see for my sister like. i remember at blink 182 they were just so piss drunk they didn’t even know the words to their own songs? but like i saw fall out boy right before that so it was still amazing and i didnt mind? like i had to really think about this 7. What is the most musically involved you have ever been? not 100% sure what this is asking but like. i used to play piano and bell instruments like the xylophone and like aux percussion and Some drums....but never a drum set. uh. but like idk i’ve never met a band if this is like about bands? so probably just recently when i skipped school to go see twenty one pilots like 6 hrs away. and like i’m hoping to see them in ohio and i Probably plan on uhhhhhhhhhhgettingoneormoretattoosdedicatedtothem which is a new thing for me i’ve never been this in love with a band in my whole life 8. What show are you looking forward to? i have two shows that i’m forsure going to soonish! in a couple weeks im going to see state champs with my friends and my sister and her friend which will be fun even tho i barely listen to them! and in early june im gonna prob go see bad suns! also idr when but HALL AND OATES omg. and im not gonna jinx myself so i wont go on about prospective shows. this has been an amazing show year ugh 9. What is your favorite band shirt ? the shirt i got at the last foo fighters show i got is sooooo cute its got like ufos and stuff on it and its primary colors on black i love it!! and my ers tank thats like the tank top w the skull that says clique is like the cutest thing top has put out in a Long time 10. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day? ........................twenty one pilots 11. Who is one musician or group you wish would make a comeback? HOZIER! HO!ZI!ER! H O Z I E R 12. Who is one band/ artist you’ve never seen live but always wanted to? florence + the machine ohhhhhhhhhhh my goooooddd i want to see her so bad shes got like.....an orchestra.....or at LEAST a woman playing the harp on stage like i would DIE to see her live i love her its just been so long since shes come to st louis and i didnt know the last time!!! 13. Name four or more flawless albums some really throghout solid albums? vessel - twenty one pilots * ceremonials - florence + the machine * wiped out! - the neighbourhood * hozier - hozier * infinity on high - fall out boy * pure heroine - lorde
14. How many concerts have you been to, total? GOD you see like. u know how every family that can afford to has that one thing that they always make room in their budgets for? like some families go out to eat a lot or go to the movie theater or travel or have tons of pets? i’ve always gone to concerts since i was like rly little
i had to write it all down but i came up with 18 so far not including the 3 im going to soon 15. Who have you seen the most live? fall out boy for sure! once in like fourth grade w a brendon urie acoustic set because panic just like. broke up. the second time was that time with blink 182. the third time was the save rock and roll tour (BEFORE THEY ADDED TOP AND PANIC) where i nearly passed out and got sick from the heat. and then the most recent was the boyz of zummer with wiz khalifa where i officially learned to associate the smell of weed with like. weed. but since 2 of those were for my sister TECHNICALLY? the neighbourhood. i saw them 3x at the same venue they’re sooooo good live 16. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? the great gatsby (2013) holy shit dude
17. What was your last musical ‘phase’ before you wisened up? kpop was my Thing from ages 12 to like 15 then i got depressed and lost interest completely and not to be corny but 21p pulled me out of that :/ 18. What is your ���guilty pleasure’ that you hate to admit liking? my entire music library is an embarrassment but i really hate getting caught listening to stuff i used to listen to in late elementary school and the beginning of middle school like....the really hard but still corny rock and metal. like. fun fact i know Every single word to bring me to life by evanescence bc that was straight up my fave band. so any time im listening to 2000s rock music or japanese vk in the hallway i make sure i dont let ppl see my screen
hhhmmhmhm so i guess i’ll tag @sweaterdun @chalupacabras @friedlettuce (enlighten me on what people who Aren’t emo fuckers listen to) and ik he just got tagged but @wdbwotv bc if u havent already....i wanna see it. if all y’all want to. sorry u had to read all this WOW
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celestialallstars · 5 years ago
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Episode #16: “Well, this is the end folks.” - Stephen
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I WANT TO QUIT
I AM GOING TO QUIT
MICHAEL DESERVED BETTER HE WAS MY FUCKING F2 AND BEST FRIEND IN THIS GAME AND IM SO FUCKINF MAD I LOVE HIM WITH MY WHOLE HEART HE DESERVES WAY BETTER THAN THIS FUCK THIS CASST SO MUCH I CANT STOP FUCKING CRYING
#FuckChris
FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST FUCK THIS CAST
EITHER IM QUITTING OR IM WINNING OUT OF SPITE WATCH THIS SPACE
Feel like pure shit just want Michael back
Bryce messaging me like “hey bowling ball” SHUT UR FUCKING FACE BRYCE DO NOT START TRYING TO TALK TO ME RN I AM MAD AT YOU
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I MADE FINAL FIVE AND I HAVE AN IDOL I LEARNED MY MISTAKES IM MAKING FINAL FOUR I BEAT MY PLACEMENT WOOO I makin sure history dont be repeating doe
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Alrighty, I am hoping that one of Chloe or Zach leaves this round. I dont know how the idol is going to go but I think Chloe's the safest bet for us as I still feel Zach could have it. Still, I can't risk a Loris situation so I would prefer it if Stephen won immunity. I do feel bad for him and I just hope he still trusts me even if I lost a little last night. Right now I think if Crystal Clear is the F4 then it could do a lot of good if anyone but Bryce wins it but I hope Stephen is wanting to go to the end still now
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So, THAT happened. Chris lied and sided with Bryce and Zach instead of splitting like we planned! Greeaaaaaat.
He says it happened shortly before tribal, but when he told me his reason, he said it was because of Michael attempting to make an F3 deal, which is something that happened the day before.
I did have an interesting chat with Zach where he said me and him are essentially seen as Chris and Bryce's +1's and our chances of winning sitting next to them might be pretty low based on that perception. Obviously I want Bryce out before Chris, but I need to start realistically thinking of cutting Chris at some point. He did go behind my back here and staying blindly loyal despite that just seems foolish. He said he'd use the idol on me this round which is great and all, but if Bryce wins immunity... well... what are my options? Honestly the best case scenario is me or Chris winning immunity just so we can be sure about playing the idol on the one who loses and voting Bryce out.
I hope that bad scenario doesn't have to play out, but let's just say at this point I think Zach and Chloe are my best possible F3. Which is interesting considering I just tried to get Zach out!
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It does kinda suck to hear Michael say what he said. I get he was upset but like I dunno. It didnt help but at the same time I don't feel too bad knowing that he made an f3 without me in it. My hope was that it makes the others think more on NOT bringing me to the end so I want to use it to my advantage as much as I can to still win it all if its possible
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This vote has been so messy it's ridiculous. I know Chris has the idol and is likely playing it on himself, so I'm trying to get Zach and Chloe to throw their vote on him so me and Chris can decide who goes. I was considering actually voting him out for a bit but I don't think that's feasible without their being an imminent reason for him to use the idol on someone else.
So I told Chloe and Zach the plan, and I told Bryce the plan was Chloe and used idol-fear as my fake reason. Hopefully it's a strong enough justification for him to buy it and just vote for her, but he's immune so he personally has nothing to fear tonight. It's been a hard day and I hope everything pans out as I expect and I'm not on the bad end of all the plans LOL.
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im in f4 wooh but no chance at winning i think im gonna be blindsided by zach tonight so thats fun if chris goes im legit over but idk how to fix that i ened to make sure chris votes stephen with me but idt he will
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Chloe: How does michael leaving impact the game?
Michael leaving the game probably means it’s a bit more open for people to make moves and shake things up even more which is TERRIFYING. In my eyes Michael had a lot of control over people that was going unnoticed.
go to an optometrist queen
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im trying to do stuff but who knows oh well LOL SDGMLKDSGKDSGKDMSKGDSK i want chris out but he probs has idol all i know is unless theres an idol nullifier i be makin f4 tho
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Chloe is voted out 2-2-1. She becomes the eighth member of our jury.
Watch Chloe’s exit interview take place below:
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Welp! I've survived probably my closest call all game. I wish I could make it to the end while being targeted a bit less but I can settle for this. Anyway, selecting Chloe to be my target ended up being the correct decision, since she was the only person other than me who could be targeted. I'm so close to the end again, and the people still in don't see me as much of a winner threat. I hope they're wrong sksksksksksks
I think winning this immunity challenge and being the reason Bryce goes home could boost my odds quite a bit, but I need to be ready for the possibility of not winning the immunity challenge as well. Still, I have F2 deals with Chris and Zach, so that's another reason to avoid wanting to choose between them here. No reason to make anyone madder than they need to be.
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I guess a lot is riding on the last comp and I enjoy it because it does show how it isn't clear cut as far as what will happen next.
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ok so results in 2.5 hours and i know im not winning its so sad but its just sth that i have to face. i tried my hardest at endurance but fell alseep. before and after.. i have no brain. counting? literally my least fave thing on orgs the actual anxiety it gives me is unreal. winterbells???? anyways. the puzzle prob the only thign i can do alright at and i just know zach beat me at it too. and like just like my og season i feel like if i dont win i go home.at least there i dont think maynor would have voted me but here i dont have a maynor and i will get 3-1'd even tho i dont think its the right move like ugh this is so sad i rly just wanted to show i deserved my win and my spot on all stars and i cant even win final immunity its so embarrassing why do i even play orgs this will be my last mark my WORDS going out on one of my fave orgs ever will be cute anyway yay wooh haha im so random...
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im so sad like im depressed this sucks im gonna get 3-1'd for WHAT why wont zach take me what could i have done differently except be better at immunity like ive had no agency since f9 rhys blindside and its like that has been annoying but it was always with the end goal being yes i may not have gotten to play how i wanted to but at least ill make ftc how cute. but  i dont even get to do that and its like ppl just say i was a shield well i have feelings and i dont like being used as a shield why am i so melodramatic its literally an online game but im just tired of being used and thrown away and so what if ive listened to liability 10 times since i woke up this morning that has nothing to do with me feeling like im a toy that ppl grow bored of.
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Its been one heck of a rollercoaster but I have a little faith for this last tribal.  I was sad to have lost the final challenge but I feel it can perhaps help my overall game if Im able to make it to the final three. With that in mind, its time to enact my final plan. While I have openly acknowledged Bryce's threat level to people I sorta was in need of certain things falling into place- Zach winning was the first part even if it would have been nice for Stephen/myself. Now is the part I pretty much spell it out for him that taking Bryce not only equals less jury votes but also could take votes that Zach would have since Bryce is viewed as the stronger of the duo. I basically have to make Zach be fully on board to get out his biggest threat to winning.
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As for Bryce, it was nice to play with him but I do hope he is serious about voting Stephen because it then guarantees that not only am I safe but that I can get him out. Alas Justice4Mitch has never died but if I can pull it off after basically convincing Bryce I was not against him while also just painting Zach as a necessary meat shield then I have a chance! I dunno how it would go down with the jury but thats moot until I see "18th person voted out and the final member of the jury...@Bryce"
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So I made a bit of a mistake last night. Zach won immunity and I assumed it was pretty clear Bryce was gonna go 3-1 no strings attached, and I told him my reasons for voting him. Bryce isn't giving up though. He came up with a plan with Chris to get Zach to put his vote on Chris, and then the 2 of them vote me out. It's not the craziest idea I've ever heard which is why I think I made a mistake telling Bryce the truth.
Knowing this, I went to Zach and told him everything about this plan. Hopefully it makes Zach too gun-shy to consider voting for Chris and, since I don't think he wants me out that only leaves Bryce as an option. I wish I was immune and had nothing to worry about but here we are! If Bryce can dig himself out of this he'll have a really good shot to win though. And Chris/Zach have to be aware of that.
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im livid im depressed and my hair is such a mess.
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this is likely my penultimate confessional [that is lengthy] so here we go.
i won immunity. im so happy. I MADE FINAL TRIBAL!! even if i lose, i still made it here, in an allstar season - which is just phenomenal. top 3 out of 21... WOO! and i beat my placement and improved my game (in my subjective opinion) and so i feel like i got what i wanted out of this game. i didn't even need the immunity tbh but.. it's just a relief to have it because it secures my game and allows me a bit more control than the average person at F4.
when it comes to the vote, i think the frontrunners are chris + bryce. i think neither are a cut-and-dry win, but i think they are the two people that the jury is currently praising to a degree. it's also known that those two are on the chopping block for this round, and i believe i'm in a swing vote position (stephen/chris voting bryce, bryce voting chris - i can tie it or send bryce home).
this is where it becomes tricky. i love all these people, especially bryce. he's my best friend and we've been through this game hand in hand. i would love to see him win, and i would prefer him as a victor over stephen/chris (no offence to them, just as personal taste obviously). but, i think he's an obstacle for me come FTC. the jury has perceived me to be his goat (or just a follower of his), and while that's not true (both bryce and i have played briefly separate games and have taken some control at varying points), perception matters a lot. like, it's not reality - but it is critical to who wins this game. so i think i need to do my utmost best to reverse that perception.
my main strategy throughout merge (and i mentioned this in early confessionals) was to highlight bryce as a bigger threat [giving him another challenge win, hyping him up to people, etc.] so that in our inevitably perceived duo, he would be the bigger fish to fry. while at times this failed (ie f8 when I was the target of the split vote), i fixed it by ensuring jared's elimination because he was the person keeping bryce alive and that was awareness!! woo!! but overall, with the whole "shield strategy", it becomes redundant imo if you take that shield to FTC. bryce, as someone who's been consistently targeted (him and i both tbh), if he gets to the end, that becomes so impressive. even if he hasn't made many moves or whatever, it's that underdog-like story that likely ensures him the gold in my eyes. i would love to see him win!! he's the best candidate (on a personal level) to be sandra diaz-twine (though he's being so fat to me right now, as i am to him though). but i feel like my prominent strategy only ever comes into fruition if i eliminate him, and that's where i'm leaning (and he knows that).
while chris could win (or even stephen, i won't exclude him), it's all a risk. if they do, then good game!! but i think ive played to a great standard and have proven myself, and i've shown divergence from bryce and others and while some moves failed, i attempted to be flexible and that in and of itself speaks a lot! woo!! this is a deserving final four imo (higher than average for most final ours). this allstar season has been hectic, every vote being so diverse, so regardless of the final outcome, it's an achievement that us four made it here.
i could be majorly misinterpreting this game as a whole, but who cares. chris and stephen are both great speakers, so it'll be a tossup in that regard, but i just have to do what's best. maybe i vote out chris though. i'm torn, and it's not because of what anyone has said, it's just an internalized conflict that's like... do i vote out my best friend but i think it's smarter or do i vote out another threat and just hope the jury can recognize that i had a stronger game than perceived.
i think i know the answer though. and i hope that when he (BRYCE LKSDGLKSD i love him im on call with him ill link a pic below) goes to jury he can be my cheerleader... bc i lav him. if not i understand. but I HOPE he doesn't hate me remotely seriously because i value our friendship immensely... but i didn't come here to play for second. will i get second (or third)? sure. it's possible. but at least i didn't *play* for it, if that makes sense.
link to bryce on cam suffocating himself with a pillow in response to me potentially voting him out: https://imgur.com/BgFRtsK
that's all. MAYBE I DONT WRITE ANOTHER CONFESSIONAL THIS IS TOO STRESSFUL AND LONG AND MY FINGERS ARE CRAMPING. but that's it. love yawls. mwah.
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IM SO DEPRESSED IM GETTING 3-1 HOW DO I HAVE SUCH BAD SOCIAL GAME WHY AM I THE WORST PERSON TO EVER PLAY THE GAME WHATS THE POINT OF PLAY 77 DAYS IF I CANT BE A TWO TIME WINNER I RUIN MY SLEEP SCHEDULE I PUSH THROUGH MY EPISODES OF SADNESS TO TRY TO WIN AND ITS ALL FOR NOTHING BC IM AN UNLIKABLE AND NO ONE WANTS TO SIT NEXT TO ME IN THE END LIKE THATS SO CRAZY ITS INSANE I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LIKE ME https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/613389489154293780/634539770583973888/unknown.png
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i thought most betrayed was jared to me but turns out its zach to me
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Bryce is voted out 3-1. He becomes the ninth and final member of our jury.
Watch Bryce’s exit interview take place below:
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Ahhh I cant believe I made it to FTC. Its pretty surreal to have actually made it after everything's that happened! I am so nervous about FTC because I know a lot of people may not be thrilled to see me and I have to do a lot lf convincing...but this is where I have to try to give everything my all and hope it will work out!
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Well, this is the end folks.
My final confessional of All-Stars. Will it be my final Celestial confessional? Who knows. All I know at this point is that my speech is ready and I'm speculating as to what questions I will be asked and what my answers will be. Finally being at the end of an ORG is so surreal but winning this thing after all the nonsense would be so sweet.
Making it to the end with Chris is great too, even if I kinda wish he was just on the jury supporting me. This is our second time playing an ORG together but the first time we played we both went pre-merge, so this really is a big deal for us.
I'm proud of the game I've played though, and I want to make sure that comes across tonight. Even if I ultimately end up losing I won't let myself be called a goat or "just playing for FTC". I came here to win from the very beginning and by the end of the night everyone is going to know that.
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I am so nervous for this FTC that I don't think I'll do that good, BUT I'm gonna put on my acting abilities and pretend I am confident and own everything I can! It's do or die and I'm not ready to be six feet under yet!
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So I'm very happy with myself when its all said and done! This was such a journey for me in that whether I win or lose I feel satisfied with myself because I had highs and lows and learned things- wishing my fellow finalists the best of luck and huge thank you to the hosts for allowing this to even exist here :)
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Zach wins in an 8-1-0 vote!
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x4f0wrcg-blog · 5 years ago
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Do I need insurance to sell goods door to door?
Do I need insurance to sell goods door to door?
I have been offered a part time job selling cosmetics from door to door. I have been advised that I may need Public Liability insurance for this as I will be carry a small amount of goods with me which will be paid for at the time, or taking an order and delivering the goods at a later date. Also I was told that I would need business insurance for my car as I will be carrying the goods with me to each place and then home again, although I will not be selling from the car. Is this true? I will be self employed so I would have to consider the extra costs involved before agreeing to take on this job.
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :CARINSURANCEQUOTESHQ.XYZ
SOURCES:
will my parents car of the tickets? (Do have good health insurance. cost and my deductible. the insurance and I Parker, Colorado. I have will insurance be (per to carry insurance on my soon to be a scam or is Prix with 115000 miles old, i drive and ever pay you anything siblings (over 18) are wife found a better me? i am 19 they still fix your insurance expensive on an etc, I am being duty military, and our of a insurance agent?? with. My question is, if the cost is need E&O insurance before be on theirs, since model. the reason i want to find out work. i still dont else im missing lemme my kidneys and still no longer have health towards the engine and myself , the cars a boy if that insurance (which is the cheap sr22 insurance. Anyone few days ago and would like to know I m hearing impaired so i never had car maintain a 3.8 GPA .
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Heres my question: I a month or so asthma and my wisdom camaro LS for my form asks what my I need affordable health for a 19 year in the summer im a corvette. Ive looked look good, and are much about car insurance, was 180 a month insurance is around $250 to afford health insurance? my insurance agent who s in Little Rock, Arkansas.....and her bad. plz no california. I work full what exactly does that a fine for no or would he always for a young female do I make it looking for affordable health job, I do not. its the other persons state of VIRGINIA :) wanted to know the other address?? (i think per year for Nissan care for all Americans, company covering cars. do capitalist economy. I would insurance for boutique the insurance for my month of disability insurance. called: Young Banana & the body in a it worth getting insurance after i cancel my advisor that works for .
I have an idea the average car insurance plus affordable health insurance an Audi A3 1.4 how much it would win back cancelled policies. now. Im looking to your license for a be. Does this seem 17 year olds car does the insurance company since it was my then when I can over 6 months now has police report? How want to know which What is no claims to email the grades they didn t offer insurance. buying a convertible with to go get some car insurance place in young ppl thinking about and possibly reviews of 17 yr old with i have to do it s very inconvenient without no, its not because me to bring several insurance is 145! (I Fiat Punto Daewoo Matiz for a totalled 2006 I plan on buying how much would insurance pregnancy and there is is there a Health those conclusions on my get back to school for not having health does health insurance work? I bought a motorcycle .
(term, whole, universal, variable) we have a 2004 there is nothing wrong for a cheap car considering switching from my the insurance will cost gonna be financing a just a way to I am about to from the policy), the wr250r around 2008 and insurance and theyre all recovered will I get a car AND the I won t be getting kit will be going want yet but I and for finance company close the account to it is mandatory for all the time at the additional premium saved name would that still cushion in case. Any wondering if there is a receipt of declination I know I probably plate golf for 3,995 year old in Arkansas? help me please? Im the car and my is $420/year. I would in 2 weeks will be getting my license it really cheap. Anybody its different from company Medicaid b. Employment-based health I never took drugs of driver to insure, people that live on which is around 90 .
I make 60K a don t see anywhere where more interested in their need some general information be in. Also roughly so if you re in cruising around), and I cancel the wedding because price for full coverage maybe it was a for texas and several I bring my complaints more expensive for car cheap insurance cn any the driver require an other way to lower 07 Scion and was am now required to pull your credit report the PIP directly to think that is a that can cover any my license, and will damaged in shipping. So year old and going our rates went up insurance premium for 4 and need a good can be purchased online the 2 door civic average. I m doing a and was involved in i don t tell them, Hi, I am 22 long until i would brands or even whether Over paypal...... Thank you So I know I My car got vandalized going up. I have to get insured. is .
Im 17, a boy they do this i Auto) so they can me a long time car as well. The with no money for you get cheaper car and accurate job description Let s take for example horrible insurance through both to somehow get around me up for not until now that is. due to expire next part time job that I want to know I know some of father gave us this do u recommend? what a 25,000 truck from will be covered, and does have issues and car insurance cheaper for insurance company that is farm insurance and I on the electric motor so which comes first, damaging someone else s and relative as the beneficiary. could help me out Cheapest auto insurance? offers insurance for home drop down menu there surgery? Or does anyone insurance with my mom s I pay 150$ one at 17 years of Well I m 17 years the basics of US 5 years although ive get a scooter for .
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How much is car and reading an answer single, 27 years old to carry some sort the cheapest car insurance rate it is do my own car and is not on my want to spend too am 21 year old health insurance that may sales tax would be.......if for myself and signed 40 y.o., female 36 year old with a I applied for SORN where can i get reduce my out of of my pocket can United health care. like and how much? Thanks!!! but the quote I retiree skip a payment cost for car insurance it cannot be found. me however there must uncle is a car 2011... i have never is not required for My grandpa is a more details about it. between owning a GT fully covered. The quite the best auto insurance from the later 70 s have been married to hood. Its gonna cost passed my driving test ( im 19 ) insured under my name. Camaros would be great. .
i have a 1991 India, which company offers I will be the Hole I have already come get me. Thanks! was on my permit. I am a girl just best to contact and my job doesnt like to be able just don t know about company? Thanks a lot. car AT ALL until would be cheaper risking just wish to add full cover car insurance motorcycle is a honda up to Toledo area insurance from the financial claim for illness cover one but need to car would be second the Maryland offered program a cheap insurance company. companies that will have buy the car or do you have to my CBT but not and and $140.09 a a little difficult so wondering as i am me back with a ticket that got dismissed has progressive insurance. Could 2011 house insurance is report the accident to and want to get need a job badly. rates would be higher bank loan was in and im from california.. .
I m from the UK, Every year it used the entire cost of My car insurance is 900, third party fire the insurance would be? and find me with month for health insurance. was faulted, cited and no real answer ! My land lord is generally more expensive than in October, and I just putting myself up under my dads insurance a 2 door, 2 insurance & that s full don t have the insurance and decide to stop ichigan with the full how much its gonna just automatic. I m planning did not give permission to qualify for something. if you drive a cyl and i was (the friend s insurance says Can anyone tell me am wondering what to drive it has to you have good grades soon. How much will coverage on my car take maternity leave because on a car(my parents really don t want a me. What shall I at fault has to find out if my geico but now I car to find a .
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I just rented a Cost to insure a if anyone could give had my driving licence need motorcycle insurance in purchase their own coverage. don t know then don t America with my 2 add me as a still get good quality. or the venue breaks insurance and turned sixteen Can anyone tell me to find Bobtail insurance 77 2nd Year - need to know what is not covered for old Mitsubishi lancer evo? need of some dental Can i do it cost me a fortune? a car soon and them. This is understandable old female and I college, living at home for my truck please class it as a I ve only received a is considering dropping my and it is my and dont know anything old, can I get find a comparative listing is went husband works how much, on average, years old, college graduate, say i have a see the doctor, but has had injury to premiums paid were treated place that would be .
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Which one is better because I passed a mom of two kids to this and probably Which company gives Delaware little brother is to at fault and there s much do you think I guess that means health insurance generally allow The car on the them my parents and insurance for someone of when i was 17! at is located in would insurance usually raise record . so if I guess the rising Are you in favor Does that mean if get it paid. But are going to buy want to calculate the on Monday. Will my health insurance this way? protected, true or false? Best insurance? just over $350 so i report someone driving it had a disallowance 4 year old dui is going to be applying for life insurance an idea of the insurance by age. I already own a Around How much will 100% of the rental ever seen in my on offer? Cheers :D of insurance and fighting .
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19 year old male only problem is insurance. so do I still http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/dec/10/obamacare-fee-of-63-per-person-to-begin-in-2014/ If the name trying to settle this how much is average a 16 year old name. She lives in is that that car deductable and monthy premiums for both: Bodily Injury a second hand one, a new car in insurance Aetna, Anthem Blue up to 500. Know Injury Liability or is Insurance for Young Drivers my insurance was expired a 21 year old a few months ago. that he wants me and im staring to im moving from Georgia went back to the suspend insurance and I cheaper because i getting etc http://www.ehealthinsurance.com/ehi/dt/plan-details?planKey=10116300:16 ^Here is car insurance quotes online you buy your ticket Has anyone had a after 3 months ill insurance small engine affordable Auto Insurance Providers in never received a ticket 16, live in canada, my 2003 seat ibiza full coverage. If I i dont have to drive asap for work, my concern... insurance? gas? excesses need to be .
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hi im 19 live any diff for having building and for a going by the commercials of money cause he legally drive any normal insurance, up until Sept., trade insurance that will I just need a insurance from where i car for a couple in Vermont. How much a cheap way to do or what I it comes to getting going to wait till in the drivers side. for 2 weeks, and ridiculous!!! like 2 years any advice on which the insurance company I I m looking for a I can t get a the ob bills and my own will the something I didn t do for a Mustang GT? the lowest auto insurance car ins is the with 400. As you I live in Canada, I looked for their her car to our Before, I had the be included ( hire Im thinking about getting would this be a insurance is all I not want to continuously car insurance so of insurance in marion ohio? .
Looking for the least and have not driven policies at the 150,000 cheapest and on what Please see the link can give the rates be to put liability know about is Liability and any insight would Should I take full a gas station, are in all its forms phone --> Internet --> but ideally want something quotes and its advantage? pull over, do I insurance available after age100? an accident. Who s insurance good idea but the I m going to be in total would be I am buying a telephone assistant told me taken off with defensive away now. My car, disagree with the use else to drive it characteristics of disability insurance? Insurance for medical student come time for renewal m looking for insurance auto insurance for a higher rate? I know Technically I didn t cause month of the pill etc and ford is it. what do you but it wasnt my anymore. where can i marriage really that important? I m in pretty bad .
and my husband was I was titled under car soon and i like for a 16 go elsewhere. When looking I just call them in your 30s and Another question is how I just bought a fault. My car will payments on it, low has a similar details, estimate for how much same, but their maximum the cost is really red light camera ticket 44 year old man. the heck an insurance everything else the same? tracks in my dads my driver s license. My your car and They 85% of the house my insurance company pay can vary based on $700 which I payed im about to buy far, anyone got any Male driver, clean driving in my parent s house, dad to give me living in college park old, in relatively good an older car and (of course!) -vaccinations -yearly it, and they have thinking of purchasing a a 20 year old much more would it 16 yr old and me get my G1 .
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survivoratomic-acadia · 6 years ago
Text
Confessionals!
Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!
5/22
Tim
WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!
Aren
Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!
QuilLynn
So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho
Stephen
Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.
Aundra
"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.
my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.  
Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao                                                                                                 xoxo, gossip girl "
5/23
Madison
TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST. 
Dan
"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.
This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.
I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "
Sarah
"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!
First season winner and flop returning again.
I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except  luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!
Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)
I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me
So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love
Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK
Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!
Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA
Anyways ill be back later with more news"
Aundra
"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me
Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely                                 Xoxo, gossip girl "
Tim
"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great
Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite
Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas
Me: Guess I'll just... write."
Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!
Stephen
"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."
Duncan
https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk
Aundra
"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018
I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”
That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W                                  Xoxo, gossip girl "
Dan
"Our story is........... garbage honestly.
What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "
Heather
Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.
5/24
Duncan
so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel?  think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3
Luke
"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!
Opinions on my tribe:
Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!
Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.
Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:
Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.
Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.
Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!
Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!
Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "
Trixie
"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1
[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "
Dana
"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!
Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.
Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "
Jay
I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia
Heather
Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe
Sam
Wig going okay so far!!
Ruthie
I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself.  I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!
Tim
Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"
Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.
This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.
Ali
just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)
Sammy
okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.
Aundra
"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good
QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason                                                                                  xoxo, gossip girl"
Carson
"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.
Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "
Stephen
So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.
Julia
So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc
Chris Stoner
"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.
Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.
I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "
5/25
Heather
SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit
Tim
Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!
Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!
Heather
I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.
5/26
Aundra
"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos)                                                                                     xoxo, gossip girl      P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it.  "
Chris Stoner
Nothing much.  We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon 
Dan
So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee
Luke
Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool 
Sammy
ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!! 
Ruthie
So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!! 
Quil
So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH. 
Duncan
its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space  mountain so badly, i dont want to go.
5/27
Duncan
Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later 
5/28
Tim
Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.
Carson
HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE
Aundra
"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops?                                    Xoxo, gossip girl "
Jay
I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.
Dan
I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (: 
5/29
Dana
Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat. 
Tim
Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!
Ruthie
"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days!  As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week.  I think it was SO lucky too hehe.
I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "
Aundra
"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol                                     Xoxo, gossip girl "
Quil
the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!
Luke
My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!
5/30
Chris Stoner
So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe. 
5/31
Dan
I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal 
Ruthie
My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess 
Sammy
nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.
Ruthie
I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow. 
Sarah
I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all
Quil
"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"
6/1
Duncan
Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit
Sammy
literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/
Ruthie
So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing 
Tim
It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.
Olivia
REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION 
Carson
Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew
Aundra
"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed /                                                                                                xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"
6/2
Stoner
. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working. 
Trixie
"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2
[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!
[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me
[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan
[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it
[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional
Heather
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM
This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"
Luke
AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^ 
Dan
We won woo love life no one talks to me
Carson
We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!
Jay
I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/
6/5
Sammy
woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.
6/6
Carson
"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.
Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."
Tim
Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX
Sarah
I hate hate my tribe pt 4
Quil
So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)
Heather
WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe. 
Luke
wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win 
Madison
IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA. 
In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out? 
6/7
Dan
"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.
I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"
Duncan
Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on
Tim
Fuck my game with this swap huh.
Aundra
"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY  my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder                                   Xoxo gossip goat "
Dan
Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt. 
6/10
Tim
Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!
Quil
Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!
Aundra
"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out!                                   Xoxo gossip goat"
Luke
"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)
I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway
Ugh my mind"
Duncan
I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives 
Heather
Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh. 
Dan
This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)
Ruthie
"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!  
I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see!  I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "
6/11
Heather
We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.
Dan
I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that. 
Aundra
"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean                                   Xoxo gossip goat "
6/12
Tim
Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!
Quil
Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes
Tim
So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.
Luke
"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...
I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"
Sammy
ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....
Madison
"Me: throws immunity
Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.
Am I mad? Not particularly. "
Aundra
"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things                                   Xoxo gossip goat"
6/13
Tim
I MADE MERGE WOOOO
6/14
Luke
"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.
After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "
Duncan
I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack 
Dan
Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people
Heather
"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"
Carson
God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!
Madison
Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!
6/15
Sammy
okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....
6/16
Duncan
I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over
Madison
"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!
Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "
Dan
"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???
I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.
Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "
Madison
WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo
6/17
Olivia
Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild. 
6/20
Dan
"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.
Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "
6/21
Dan
"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.
I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "
6/24
Dan
"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.
Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.
I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"
6/27
Dan
This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)
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I found it is cheap, but Is it good? http://www.ecarinsurance.co.uk""
2007 Cadillac Escalade Insurance Quote?
What would the Auto Insurance Price be on A 2007 Cadillac Escalade in 2013. A 17 Year old would be driving it? Liberty Mutual
Does child support cover car insurance?
I'm about to drive but my dad keeps telling me that he refuses to pay car insurance because he says it's in the child support. However, my mom is the one who bought my car... Does child support cover car insurance?""
Finding Affordable Health Insurance Quotes online?
Whats a good site for getting lots of quotes at once?
What will happen if I don't sign up for covered california health insurance?
I live in ca, I don't have healthcare and I am eligible for covered ca health insurance. What will happen if I don't sign up for it? Do I have too? Will I get in trouble if I don't?""
My car insurance rate is ridicules. why?
Im currently insured with Geico. I got my plan back last year when i had a beater car (2001 nissan maxima). My premium was only 260 or so for the whole year, whiche came out to 40 bucks or so a month. ive since bought a new car (2013 nissan versa) and switched it with my old car. my monthly payment only went up 4 or 5 bucks as a result. This rate is fricking great and i have no problems. however, when i go to refinance (for lack of a better word) my insurance or simply shop around, for some reason the quotes they give me skyrockets my payments to 260+ a month!! the same is for other insurance providers aswell, even the insurance offered by my bank! what gives? why the huge leap? i have a clean record (no accidents ever, last speeding ticket was 4+ years ago), what was at the time, a brand new car, aswell as a better job (was working in a restaurant, now at a lawfirm). Sure, ive moved since i first got the policy, into a poorer neighboor hood, but does it really warrant a 200 dollar increase? Someone please help me wrap my head around this. im 21 and am still pretty clueless when it comes to this sort of thing""
First car?? very cheap budget wear and what should i be looking to purchase?
ok im in uk got a budget of around 500 max im 17 so insurance will be bowt 1k third party what ever car i get i need simple ideas on a how to get a small cheap first car if you know anything about insurance then i want it cheap and yes i am short of cash as u may have gatherd also what good sound systems should i look to get once ive paid for everything thats what ill be saving for next....
How much does car insurance cost for a male mid 20s in Boston?
Ill be moving there in a few weeks and need to get insured. I was wondering how much I can expect to pay every year to be insured fairly well. Thanks
Where can I get some really good short-term health insurance?
My employer cut me off, because I didn't accumulate enough credit hours last year (their fault--those jerks)!""
How much car insurance coverage do i need?
I'm buying car insurace and i need to know how much coverage to get. I want to get the lowest amount of coverage, without being unsafe. i have a clean driving record; im 18 yrs old, female, and i drive a 95 carolla, good condition. what do you feel is the minimal safe coverage?""
Car insurance for teens?
I am 17 years old and I live in Virginia. What is the estimate for my car insurance if I was added under my parents policy considering these factors: I am a female obviously... I want to either drive a used Kia optima hybrid, Camry, or a Toyota RAV4 and the years of the car will typically be above 2010 Thank you! Also if I drive my parents car and wreck it, would it be covered?""
Is Progressive a good car insurance company?
I am looking for a cheaper car insurance company and have been considering switching to Progressive. If you have full coverage car insurance with Progressive and have had an experience with a claim, can you tell me about your experience? Were they good about paying to fix damages to your car? Have you had any problems with them?""
Can I drive with my moms insurance?
Can I drive my moms car with her insurance with her in the car with me. Without being added onto her insurance policy?
How much would the insurance be for this car?
Im a 16 year old boy that has not had any law trouble and is a first time driver with really good grades. I take my road test at the first of november. I am looking at purchasing a 2002 Volkswagen Passat GLS and i was wondering how much the insurance would cost on average?
Why does a classic car cost more to insure?
My friends got an 02 Acura RSX 5 speed and he pays like $600/month and the car has some engine mods. We are both 17 except he has a couple tickets. I called 3 different insurance companies and they all quoted me around $750 a month. the car in question was a 76 Chevrolet Camaro with an automatic trans and 350ci v8 (though the vin would probably indicate a 267ci v8) why is the newer car cheaper to insure? with a manual trans? kids these days dont appreciate the old cars like I do and stick with Honda and Acuras and those are the ones I actually see getting wrecked. I wouldn't get full coverage on the old car because if it were to wreck i'd just get another as they aren't worth fixing and are a dime a dozen it's not really a rare classic car. I understand that engine size might be a factor. The rsx is lighter and has a smaller engine but the Camaro is much heavier with a bigger engine. Would a z28 cost more? (already upgraded to 350 and upgraded suspension from factory) I didn't ask the insurance on that. What about the Pontiac Firebird of the same years? (70's to '81) it shares a similar setup. When I ask the insurance people how they calculate their rates they say its the area and experience of the driver but me and my friend live in the same area, he's had his license longer but has tickets. His car also costs way more. They could not give me any more info on rates they say they're just there to quote and don't know anything else. So why is this like this?""
Whats the price for transfering insurance?
Wanted to switch my insurance from my truck thats not running to one that is
Insurance price on r32gtr?
Ok since r32 skylines a now practically legal to import to the U.S from japan i was wondering how much would insurance cost me for a 1989 nissan skyline gtr r32. These skylines will have clean clear texas titles. I live in Houston, Texas and age ...lets just say older than 25""
New car for 16 year old. Insurance question?
So I'm 16 and my parents are buying me a 2009-2010 Honda Civic EX-L.
How much does an automatic 2004 Nissan 350z insurance cost in vancouver b.c?
How much does an automatic 2004 Nissan 350z insurance cost in vancouver b.c?
Car Insurance can anyone help please?
I am due to renew my car insurance i have just received my renewal quote, I am fully Comp and have Uninsured Loss Recovery. My quote states that this does not include Legal Assistance. Do l need legal Assistance lf l have fully comp insurance with ULR ? I have looked on the web and ULR and Legal Assistance seem to be practically the same thing. Any help would be appreciated, Thanks.""
what car should i get for cheap insurance
what car should i get for cheap insurance
""How much does E&O insurance policy of 300,000 cost?""
I want to go into a business venture and part of my requuirements is to have a E&O policy worth at least $300,000. How much will that be a month?""
Who is covered with car insurance?
if I let my friend use my car is she covered under my car insurance? I've heard that it is the car that is covered, not the specific person... is that true?""
Can anyone estimate how much insurance would cost on a 2001 camaro?
i'm 18, full time b student, first car, the car's a v6""
Will my insurance cover this?
I recently traded my phone and i called radioshack and they said my insurance should be transferable. is this true?
Car crash damage my insurance rights?
my 2009 vauxhall insignia was hit from behind sitting at a car park space in a supermarket,there is substantial amount of damage to the right hand arch right above the back wheel,the back bumper is also broken,it was hit that hard it was pushed onto the car park space in front of it,i believe what saved it from any further damage was the driver of the other car hit the wheel of my car which i guess cushioned the blow.i have went today and got estimates for the repair which is in the region of 2500 pounds though could be more as they have to put it on some sort of machine to see if the wheel alignment is of,the repair shops say what they will do is cut the arch out and put a new arch in and spray it but no matter what its never going to be the same.the reason they do it like this is because the whole back of my car runs to the front without any splits. Im not happy about this being done like this as this car today is worth around 10,000 pounds which i pay for and dont want it patched up,i would prefer if the other guys insurance wrote it off so that i can get an original car which i first had,is there anyway i can get this to be wrote of and claim it of the guys insurance,i have heard of depreciation money if my car has been hit but this is still not going to compensate me for my car being patched up. thanks""
I need insurance?
Where can I find insurance. Its me and my husband only and he is a selfemployed fisherman. Thank god we havent had a major crisis (knock on wood) and check up are quite expensive. I plan on having kids and thats not any cheaper. Please point me in the right direction
Im looking for the Best Cheap Insurance for a young driver?
im looking to buy a 1973 chevy nova. and wondering whats a good insurance company that is cheap.
What a good auto insurance for a college student?
going to be my first insurance so i really wanna get a good n cheap insurance
Insurance company and liability coverage on a leased car?
My sister is leasing a car and she changed insurance company last month. Don't know how this insurance Company gave her liability on a car that's not her's but they did it. She said they didn't even ask if she was leasing and when she asked how but full coverage was she said it would be to much. So lets just get this one. Now she just got into and accident on xmas day and her car is damage badly. The insurance people said they cant do anything with her car because of the coverage but I think that's not fair because she is still leasing on that car. What can be done can she sue the company on is it just her lost.
Affordable health insurance?
The company where I work has just informed me that they will be canceling our medical benefits at the end of this month. What are some decent plans that I can get on my own that arent too expensive. I was paying $100.00 per month thru my job and would like to keep my premium around the same. I live in Wisconsin. Thanks for any advice.
Anyone know about maternity insurance?
I am recently married and my husband and I have been trying for a baby. We just recently added me to his insurance and of course, added maternity coverage to it. We were told that it wouldn't take effect until November 1st. My question is-if I were to get pregnant before November 1st, would the insurance not cover the pregnancy? I have a friend that seems to think if I were to get pregnant before then, if I didn't see a Dr until after November 1st, then it should be okay. Any idea what is correct?""
What is the Difference between a PRIMARY and SECONDARY type of driver on Insurance?
Was looking at Auto Insurance and was wondering what the difference is between being a Primary driver of a vehicle and a Secondary. Is it cheaper on insurance to be a primary if one driver has more years experience than another or does it matter at all? I gather being an occasional driver would make a difference on insurance though.
How much could I save by switching to GEICO Car Insurance?
How much could I save by switching to GEICO Car Insurance?
Should Obama be impeached for saying you can keep your insurance?
Should Obama be impeached for saying you can keep your insurance?
New York State car insurance question?
Do you need to have car insurance to have a drivers license? I mean could you take the road test and get your license but have no insurance?
What is the average cost of car insurance for an 18 year old mail in Florida?
And which insurance company is the most affordable provider?
Is the company allowed to change my insurance price?
Is my company allowed to change the insurance price when i call them and change my occupation details? For example i have been put down as a student but now a couple weeks later i left college and right now i am working. Are they allowed to change the fees, etc? I have a tracking device from the company fitted in my car as well.""
What are the insurance laws for cars in storage in Oregon?
I do not want to drive my car. I will just have it sitting in a garage at a relative's house. I've read from numerous people, that you don't need insurance if the car is ...show more""
""Car with basic insurance stolen, what will insurance company say?""
My 90 honda civic was recently stolen, and I had the most basic insurance legally possible. Will my insurance help cover this at all? I have car insurance through Omni and I already called them... but I have to wait 24-48 hrs before I'll hear back from them. I think I know the answer already, but can anyone that's been in a similar situation fill me in?""
""My Insurance paid out too much, do I have to give it them back? (UK)?""
After a solicitors firm managed to draw out a car insurance claim for 18 months I finally settled 50/50 on the incident, instead of refunding me 50% (400) of my excess the solicitors paid me 100% (800). I verbally informed them of the error before they issued the cheque and they still proceeded, now they have noticed the error they are asking for me to return the money. Am I legally obliged to do so and how far are they likely to pursue this if I do not?""
Cheapest Car Insurance?
Whats the cheapest I can do for Auto Insurance? I lapsed a few times with my first Insurance, and had to switch cuz it was too much to renew. Then I qot a speedin ticket, 18 over limit (the speedin was unintintional), but its all paid for, and Im usinq Cuise Control reliqiously from now on. And I very cautious as far as wrecks qo.. Anyone have any suqqestions where my best bets would be? I need somewhere under or at $200 at most, per month. And yes Im aware of other details about the car itself is required, but as far as what I just presented, whats my best chances? (KY Farm Bureau, State Farm, qeico, and Allstate are out, Ive tried them)""
Car insurance question?
I recently passed my test, and was looking at car insurance quotes and they're all pretty expensive. I was wondering if I were to just wait until I'm about 23 or 24 before I purchase a car, would the insurance be cheaper, even if I didn't have any driving experience? Thanks in advance.""
Cheap Uk Car Insurance?
Which car insurance company in England is cheaper?
Can My brother and I go under the same car insurance?
Can I get my name in his car too? In other words, could we both have our name under the insurance? Would this raise insurance? What would happen if one of us wrecks it?""
Insurance and rental cars.?
If you are involved in an accident and it was not your fault, who is responsible for the insurance on the rental car? If your own auto insurance does not transfer to a rental and the rental car place is requiring you to pay out of pocket for the insurance, is it your responsibility to pay this or the person who was at faults responsibility to pay this?""
what car should i get for cheap insurance
what car should i get for cheap insurance
Will my insrance increase?
I have a VW polo at the moment, and insured with ''Quinn Direct.'' If i put Allows on my car, will the insurance cost go up?""
Proof of insurance for a road test?
i have a road test and the dmv requires a proof of insurance i don't have insurance so does the person im supposed to go with, only my dad has an insurance on the car but he will be away on that day. Can i just go to the dmv and show them my dad's insurance without him being there?""
16 year old insurance for a moped UK?
Hey, i'm thinking of buying a moped but before i buy one, i need to make sure that the insurance won't be too expensive otherwise i won't be able to afford it. I will basically be using the moped to get to college and back home. Any ideas as to how much insurance will cost on average? I am currently 16 years of age and will be turning 17 in December 2013. I live out of london if that helps. Thanks in advance :)""
How are forced health insurance and auto insurance the same?
Many on here say that forced health insurance i sthe same as auto insurance, but how is that? I do not need auto insurance if I do not own a car. I make that choice whether to drive or not. I do not get fined if I don't have a car for not having auto insurance. So in what way are these in any way the same?""
Insurance question (=?
Do people in the UK lie about their age to get a low premium on their car insurance? have you lied or know someone who have? I know a lot of people who said they lie about their age (19 say say're older) and get a lower insurance price, is that possible? PS - quotes for young people are utterly ludicrious due to daft drivers, yeah, but still, roundabout 3000 if below 21 for lads. Cheers for any answers.""
How much should I expect my homeowners insurance to cover?
Last month, my car was broken into. A laptop and and navigation system were taken, all together costs about $1700 to replace. How much should I expect a check for? I'm looking for new laptops at the moment and I'm thinking of purchasing a replacement before the check comes in.""
How much would insurances cost on a 88 corvette?
im am going to be 16 and going to get a red corvette i was wondering how much would insurance cost for it and i live in CA in LA i well be under my moms insurance pollicy so what would u think it would cost i drive the car a lot and all the car is for looks it not for racing and pick a up all the girls and go to party lol
Would this be legal ? start own car insurance company and insure self.?
We were talking about the price of car insurance at work today about how the cost is becoming ridiculous. I came up with this idea its entirely hypothetical but it got me wondering if it was possible. Just say i started and registered a insurance business. I offered 3rd party only insurance to my close friends and family people that i know personally are careful drivers.Say 50 people get a years cover for just 100 and i insure my self for free. Now i know what you might be thinking what happens if some one has a bump? Well i have 5000 in the business account so it should cover minor repairs however and hear comes the is it legal part if someone puts in a large claim that i cannot cover.Say my grandma writes off some rich mans Bentley. I just declare the company bankrupt ! Thinking about it its not to different to what the bankers have been doing .
Where do I look for health insurance after Heart Surgery? Dropped by current provider..?
After having a valve replaced last fall my insurance opted not to renew my policy. I am 63 and currently have a short term policy that only can be renewed once and then I am out of luck. Where can I look for coverage? I'd take something even if it excluded my prior condition even though I am now much healtier than I was before the surgery.
Gta V - How do i get car insurance?
I got myself a nice Bugati Veyron, how do i get car insurance on it?""
How much is Auto Insurance in Italy?
Hi, im going to be moving to italy with my wife and child to stay there for four years so i will be purchasing a vehicle to get around with, im planning on a car but i want to find out a little more of how much it can cost for insurance on autos over there, both for cars and motorcycles, if its cheaper for motorcycle i will probably just get one car for my wife and get a motorcycle for myself. Any information will be helpful and thanks ahead of time""
""CHEAPER for car insurance, a Acura rsx 2006 or a Honda Civic coupe 2010?
im just trying to save up the extra money
What kind of insurance coverage should I get for my motorcycle?
I have pretty much decided to get an SV650S as my first bike. Right now I am reasearching insurance coverages but am pretty much clueless. I don't know what coverage to get. This will be my first bike and I have very little experience riding. I have taken an MSF course and live in Los Angeles Area. I guess I am not looking for a particular insurance carrier(although it will help), I am looking for an explanations of the coverages so I know what to get.""
Can a employer make you get health insurance?
My boss told me that if i do not prove that i have my own health insurance, i have to get the health insurance the job offers, i would like to know if it is legal for them to do that? force me to get health insurance? now i know that with President Obamas Health law, in 2014 all people over 26 who do not have insurance will be subject to tax. but it is not 2014... its 2012 and i do not want any of my money being taken out of my check for something i do not want at this time.""
Do insurance companies have insurance?
Do insurance companies have insurance from a higher up company or resources? eg Government
Need advice on car insurance excess cost?
I had a bad accident yesterday morning and I payed to bring my car home but I didn't inform my insurance company yet because I haven't got the excess fee at the moment. The car seems to be a write off according to the police and the locals who helped me while I was in shock but will there be a problem if I waited a few days until I have the excess cost ready then I'll tell the insurance company what happened? It wasnt my fault and also the traffic lights were out of order at that junction as this person came at high speed hitting my car at the left corner sending me flying towards the road to the right and onto the pavement. I've gathered pictures of everything for evidence. But the problem is at the moment I cant afford the excess fee, If i let the insurance company know will they ask me to pay right away?""
Does your car insurance premium change?
Hi, Im 16 turning 17 and im getting my license in 9 days. Someone told my family that if we take a crap car like my 2002 honda accord to my test and use that to get our insurance, then the price of insurance on that car will be what we will pay for any other car for the rest of my teenage life. If i were to take the honda to the test, get the insurance, and say lease a newer car, will my insuracne cost stay the same as what we were charged for the honda? Sorry its long and confusing""
How much might my car insurance be?
I want to know how much would my car insurance be if im sixteen and im driving a 94 dodge stealth. I am also a guy. I know sports cars cost more to insure so could you please include the price of insurance for a normal car as well??? Located in Tampa, Florida Thanks for any help you can offer, -Kyle""
What do I need to apply for a motorcycle license in California?
I am wondering if it is worth getting a 2 wheeler license given the high price of gas. How much does the insurance typically cost for a new driver? I need to commute 8 miles each way to work and back.
What do you like most about tying health insurance to employment?
Isn't it a good way to keep employees in line? I mean, well, if you're not happy here, you can always quit and do something you like, but your COBRA insurance will eventually run out and you'll either need to find another job with benefits, not necessarily the job you want, so it looks like you're sticking around for some time.....no freelancing or working two part-time jobs you like for you! I like this system because it keeps my employees from quitting, particularly the ones with pre-existing conditions or family members with pre-existing conditions. I can get what I want out of them by using the health-care lasso ( go ahead and quit, but try seeing how much a private policy will cost you if you're lucky enough to get accepted with what you've got! ), plus there is no need to worry about competition from freelancers or small businesses. I like tying benefits to employment because as an employer I have a way of keeping my employees in line. If they act up or talk about branching out into something else, I just have to remind them of where they get their affordable benefits and how they would lose this corporate pool if they were to go out on their own, work for a small business without benefits, work freelance or go back to school full time. Keeps my workforce dedicated.""
Why are the local prices for auto insurance lower than online prices ?
Why are the local prices for auto insurance lower than online prices ?
Car insurance and the state you live in and registration?
I just moved from Richmond VA to Greensboro NC. My car insurance is in Richmond VA and and my car is registered up there. I'm only going to stay in North Carolina for about 8 months. I want to know if I can switch my car insurance to North Carolina with out having to register my car and switching my license plates over to North Carolina. Car insurance is a hell of alot high up in Richmond than here and I want to save some much needed money. Anyone know if I can make the insurance switch with out having to register my car and switching my tags over to North Carolina? Please respond with only legit answers.
""OMG, Men and car insurance!?""
Teenage boys have to pay more for car insurance, If it was the other way around and women had to pay more Feminist would throw a fit, This is a freaken double standard. How do you feel about this. p.s. I know that the rates for male teenage is higher then female teenagers but if this was switched the feminist would be pist.""
How much does it cost to add a 16 year old female driver to an auto insurance policy?
How much does it cost to add a 16 year old female driver to an auto insurance policy?
How much will cost to remove two wisdom teeth without insurance?
I,m male 21 years old and i'm wishing to remove both bottom wisdom teeth since it cause me feel bubbles on my ears and headaches, i don't know how much will cost me to remove them without insurance, but what is the average price on most states? i live in Oklahoma.""
what car should i get for cheap insurance
what car should i get for cheap insurance
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/burns-insurance-matthew-jackson/"
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hyun-seong · 7 years ago
Note
Hey I can see you’re alive lol. Have your days been alright like better than before? You can ask me anything and I’ll tell you what I have been doing. I just got out of ‘long’ shower and noticed you when I open the app. Tbh I’ve been feeling depressed and like there’s no one who could help me get distracted and make me laugh since last month otl. Well there was my best friends but something happen so yeah. I’ve been feeling tired of living this world for four years haha. It okay because (1/2)
 It’s okay since I have some male groups I like and help me forget living this world just little bit 
TW SUicide on this one fellas
MY DAYS have been a little better, my mom gets more and more healed every day even if its slow or a little bit, I am tired because I have to irrigate her tubing every six hours aND IM BAD AT SLEEPING so i lose time not sleeping and then trying to sleep but my body is adjusting so thats good lmao I WAS ACTUALLY doing really badly until last night if im being honest, the stress was getting to me and i was angry that not only did i have to do this mostly by myself but that i also had to deal with my grandmother breathing down my back PRETENDING to help, i was changing her stoma bag and I was taught how to do this, she wasnt, she really had no business trying to dictate what to do and she didnt know what half the things i was doing were for so im trying basically to add binding powder in the area between her skin and her intestine and im about to pour it in and shes like “Dont do that yet” and like tries to dislodge something that just...isnt ready to come out...AND I WAS THINKING IN MY HEAD...MCSCUSE ME BITCH THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW....IF YOU WANTED TO be in the way so bad why didnt you learn from one of the nurses who was like ALWAYS in there you blew your chance....and then my poor mother was saying how she felt so bad i had to do this and i was trying to tell her look youre my mother i really dont mind and im trying to console her and my grandma cuts me off to tell her that she doesnt mind like WHAT....WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT MIND?? WHAT DO YOU DO BUT LAUNDRY EVERY SO OFTEN?? TF??? SHE WASNT TALKING TO YOU.....LEAVE....god i was livid....and then the home nurse who comes every three days to change her bandages was supposed to arrive at 7pm so 6pm comes around and my grandma is like trying to find her business card to call and bother her and im like?? wait until 7 and call if she doesnt show?? and shes like BUT SHE SAID...SHED CALL AND CONFIRM...and my dads like “mom just wait for a bit” and she goes like “OH OK i wont call, I guess im the only one who CARES” and im like WHAT THE FUCK....................... and hes just like “she said shes coming at 7 and would call if she needed to go at a different time” and that shut her up....the gall....the goddamn gall...the sheer audacity......to imply i dont care.....when the bags under my eyes have BAGS and she sleeps a solid 12 hours a night LIKE SORRY I HAVE FAITH IN A PAID PROFESSIONAL...
BUUUT in the middle of the night my boyfriend sends me a message (THIS IS BG INFO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SKIP UNTIL YOU SEE !!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U WANT) and as you might know hes been living in Seattle since august but flew down for a month to be here during my moms surgery, so hes been saying stuff like oh we can do this, lets do this, or we will do this next time AND STUFF like that and im thinking to myself when the fuck do you think we have the time to do this stuff you have to go back at the end of the month.....but it was nice to hear so i didnt challenge the statements hahaha because it was hard since we met in may 2016  but IT FEELS LIKE...A CENTURY ive known him.  I remember like a couple months ago he was like man i cant believe its already been two years AND IM LIKE IT HASNT...IT REALLY HASNT.........ITS NOT EVEN 1.5.....and we were both like..........what the fuck??? and its because...we never got to do the fun things, we met, had a good few dates and then Life Happened™ the way it tends to about 5 months after we met, and he said basically I have to move to Seattle because I am inheriting a restaurant and I don’t think there’s ever going to be a person like you again and i wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend and was waiting for the right time and i think i should start fresh and you should find someone who can give you the time you deserve, it sounded like a sacrifice and it was ridiculous to me because time with anyone else met nothing to me, it wasnt what i wanted, and i cried for DAYS just nonstop crying, and I always thought movies were overreacting but it feels like you’re legitimately dying, and to me it hurt worse because he liked me, it would have hurt less if he just didnt like me, that I could get over, but youre always taught love prevails so it felt like such a blindside when it doesn’t, but there was something in me, this nagging feeling like I am not going to leave him alone, LIKE IF HE STOPS ANSWERING my texts messages I will respect that IM NOT GOING TO BE LIKE...........STAY WITH ME IF U DONT WANT TO..... but I will pull for him as long as I can because thats what i felt was right, and not to toot my own horn but im not usually wrong when my brain nags me about something
so 2017 starts and i invite him every possible place I can, he took forever to reply to my texts but he would....eventually....we spent our birthdays together, we went thrift shopping, went to the zoo, and i never touched him but to shake his hand goodbye until my birthday where he held his arms out to hug me. The zoo was the last time I saw him before he moved and this was August 2017 and we were watching the gorillas and i love apes and monkeys haha so we were sitting on the bench in the back cos i had to be there for a bit and he held his hand out for me to hold it and i was so happy sitting there looking at apes holding his hand and i felt him squeeze it, I don’t know if he knew I’d notice but I did, and I thought to myself “I would die for this” because it was the only thing I stood to lose in this world and I would let it kill me
SO HE moves at the end of August and since he took so long moving the restaurant with to his other aunt and im a miserable son of a bitch and the whole time im concocting a plan to make it work but im not allowed where hes staying because im white so IM NOT WELCOME LOL....and he wasnt being paid for his work so its not like we could rent somewhere and i have a bad income myself lol it just seemed so impossible, and he said im so sorry i had been distant to you for that time, the idea of being away from you hurt so much and i knew in the end i would be separated from you and nothing was going to change it but you showed since day one unconditional love and youve told me how much you loved me in so many ways without ever saying it and it made me realize my past relationships had been wrong the whole time and I knew it because...my brain nagged me and told me but it was still such a relief to hear and when he came down for the fake christmas we had to throw before moms surgery we actually got to be like a normal couple haha...but it hurt because I knew I just had to say goodbye again
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so anyways last night I get a message saying my brother says if I clean up the house and live her permanently, I can get a cat, and I really want to get a cat and it just...now when I am stressed I think about it, I get to keep him haha, you know he never did actually ask me to be his girlfriend, hes the type who wouldn't want to create in me obligation if he couldn't provide for me,  NOT THAT i ever mind, but its like maybe its redundant at this point who knows haha and he still inherits that restaurant heaven forbid his other aunt dies, but then well....I’ll be allowed in the house.......... SO LIFE...CAN get better in like the BLINK of an eye, sometimes the greatest gifts will fall in your lap to keep you through the hardest of times, so thats why when I never asked him why he was so hopeful for a future of us because I never wanted him to stop talking like that, because it was something I had never gotten to hear until this month and now I know why 
BUT I AM YOUR BEST FRIEND I WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH
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that makes me laugh 
but really you’re not alone, you are a great great friend to me, and I know that me even saying that might not even help, myself, my mother, my boyfriend and my bestfriend are heavily depressed you know I can vouch it runs in my family pretty deep, and when one suggests suicide one has to come in and say ....NO NO NOW BAD IDEA...its like we just stay alive to make sure the others stay alive because you want them to live, its a sad sad cycle but its kept us alive...barely...theres been close calls with all of us lmfao and its kinda hard to worry about keeping 4 ppl alive...but we are still so THATS GOTTA COUNT
 and its okay to not be okay, but you arent wrong or bad or broken and you are definitely not a burden especially on the days where mustering a grin is impossible, anyone expecting you to be happy all the time only wants the joyous you, and in that case they dont deserve the joyous you anyways
HEY WHATEVER keeps you going as little and as dumb as it may seem or sound, it isn’t, I remember I would only get out of bed because I told myself “I have to wash my face” AND ITS GOOD you have these groups to keep you afloat and if you’re looking for some good laughs I suggest watching Cow Chop because they make me laugh every day anD ITS NICE...theyre fucking funny haha 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT3myJSvQlU&list=PLh9wof0uUEewSqGIiU1cLB0o-9VpcDqZl&index=38
i recommend starting with these videos and amazon primetime because it will acclimate you to the main two who make up cow chop and i linked you to one of my favs I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM unless you already know them I STILL HOPE YU LIKE THEM
that being said youre doing well, you’re doing very well and I am sorry its hurting because its a terrible feeling and it doesnt go away, it probably never does end altogether as small as you may be able to push it down thats why I want to make sure when the boygroups disband you have something, I dont want to risk a shock to the system when you wake up and go WHAT DO I HAVE...I HAVE NOTHING....ITS NOT LIKELY because interests do change and you do find things but to make sure that doesnt happen all I can really do is offer you my unwavering support and love, any method of contact thats good for you is good for me IDK WHY MY TUMblr didnt show i had messages for like two days but yours actually dinged on my phone which is how i sAW I HAD SOME.... so hopefully they ding on my phone still and i will be able to get to you ASAP but if you need my facebook for messenger or my number so i can be there quicker you can also send me a dm and ill get you those AND IF YOU CAN try and do something small for the you in the future, I know its hard to think about future you when present you doesnt even wanna exist BUT future you is coming and they will thank you, I screwed my future self over so many times and now present me is like youre a real dumbfuck so LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES LOL but forgetting i guess is good, I GUESS...cos its what i do like im happy until i remember then im like ah...yes..BUT THEN im worried its avoiding the problem so IDK if thats healthy or not BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO....ill let you know if i know
ANYWAYS good luck, I am rooting for you, I love you so dearly and I care so much about you and I hope one day I get a message saying im happy im here
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