#i also haven't been using my rant in the tags tag so i have a few tag essays that r lost to all 15k of my posts now oops

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[aliusfrater]

I so agree with you on your panic room post like the dehumanization and humiliation alone is sickening and as someone new to the show I've seen people and fanfiction when they make this as sam getting darker or being monster while whole episode he is just begging dean and also tells ruby that he just wants dean to trust him and when people say Sam manipulates dean by using puppy eyes always gets his way is just wrong because in whole show i think this is only time we see sam properly verbalise his issues that dean always takes the wheel and he trusts him because he is his brother and wants that reciprocated and dean just so cruel this whole episode in the beginning he calls sam 'weak desparate pathetic ' and fandom like yeah sam is the one self righteous and monsterous sorry for this tangent lol but i just this episode reveals such crucial struggle of sams character and most people only see last part of dean lying and say this is why he started apocalypse

i think the crux of it is that the audience quite simply lives within the box that is the same dichotomy of monstrosity that both dean and the narrative subscribes to. edlund and singer themselves hold similar fascist beliefs which is reflected in the way they direct and write; they too, subscribe to the ideal of us vs them/innocent or hunter vs monster as well as the narrative relevant structures that surround and perpetuate them. in 4.21, when sam is attempting to negotiate being looked up in the panic room, while dean insults him in between promises of protection and that the circumstances are for his own good, sam is lit by red lighting—similar to the car scene in 3.06 when a demon attempts to talk him up with the concept of leadership—representing an acknowledgement of monstrosity. sam's identity is being compartmentalised through the dichotomy of monstrosity; sam, his monstrosity, is encroaching upon sammy, dean's little brother to be protected and saved (and dean calls sam sammy while dean speaks down to sam before closing the latch and leaving sam in the panic room to 'dry out' as dean puts it) and sam's inclination towards monstrosity does indeed give dean the right to take sam's life as per 'save him or kill him' and as far as dean, bobby, sam, and much of the audience (and their concept is how monstrosity works or is dealt with) is concerned. the dehumanisation of the circumstance regarding the general state of the panic room is, i think, part of this; it's representative of exactly how compartmentalised sam's identity is regarding his monstrosity. like, 4.21 "then at least he dies human," / "most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill." even 5.14, "that's not him in there. not really." / "i know." quite frankly i think his addiction is conflated with his independence as well as his relationship with ruby (especially when the role she plays for sam and how their relationship works is considered) and therefore, is also conflated with his monstrosity. like, 4.04, "use the knife!" 4.21 "it's not something you're doing it's what you are," + dean comparing sam's escape and relapse to his leave for stanford in 4.22; thesis it was never particularly about the blood. anyway, i feel like there's Much of dean's character especially relating to the way his and sam's relationship works, especially in conjunction with the aspects of the original john-dean-sam dynamic that is relevant in 4.21, that you could get into if you extract yourself from dean's conflations of many factors of sam's arc for season four that's ultimately missed by much of the audience observing through dean's perspective. there's definitely a way that lines up with many of sam's motivations to portray sam's monstrosity, the agency it inspires within him, and culmination of both of these ideas into his addiction relating to the aspects of the dichotomy of monstrosity as well as his nonrole that he breaks the boundaries of which all lead into his independence (the examples you mentioned + others like 5.05 "dean, one of the reasons i went off with ruby... was to get away from you. [...] it made me feel strong. Like I wasn't your kid brother.") and the straying of him + a post-hell dean from the dynamics of their relationship (which post-hell dean was looking for while he felt like he was losing control over himself!) but it is impossible to do so from within that box. i genuinely believe that you have to spectate the imaginary structures that supernatural imposes upon itself if you're really going to understand how sam and dean's dynamic works. the audience suffers from a chronic ignorance of sam's perspective i fear <3 (this even applies to people who are generally charitable to sam as a character usually because sam himself has a tendency to compartmentalise his own perspective in favour of dean's) welcome to the fandom lol

[punk-sharkz-zero]

i hope every person who makes fun of food allergies has a warm pillow on both sides and has wet socks forever and ever. I hope they have a paper cut and then get lemon juice on it.

[makorra-scarf]

Im not aure if you're still active, it's fine if you're not, but I'm still upset makorra didn't happen. They had so many cinematic cues it's upsetting. Sincerely, someone who recently rewatched LOK.

Hi hi! I'm not super active on this blog anymore, but every once in a blue moon I'll reblog stuff lol.

I'm also still sad about makorra ;_; the setup was there and everything, it's honestly confusing and frustrating just from a cinematic standpoint.

I've been cooking an LOK rewrite in my brain for a long time, and maybe one day I'll post it, haha. There's so many things in the series that I wasn't satisfied with, so I think it could be a fun project (not that I'm a professional or anything haha).

Thanks for the message! (Your avatar is very cute btw!)

[miss-bunny-penny]

i'm really excited for next season but sadly C4S4 is the first season since C4S2 that i won't be able to get to level 200 on on my main. actually last two seasons i bought the level up skin and didn't this time but last two seasons it wasn't relevant because i leveled up to 200 even without considering them. worth noting that on my switch/work account i got several gold style skins this season while last season it only got a couple of the wildscorch styles. my main and switch accs are around the same level lol. ohwell i dont even really care that much not getting gold kado, if i never got gold mizuki i'd kms but gold kado is whatever. having gold piper mae and antonia on both of my accounts is really cool to me

[bookwyrminspiration]

trying to figure out what a sign you don't know means is hell on earth actually I think it's impossible

[martyrbat]

oh tracy chapman we're really in it now....

[strange-creature-222]

OUUGHHH THIS IS MAKING ME THINK SO MANY THINGS OH MY GOD/POS

@lilywithcatears you should read this pls pls pls

I found myself thinking of Jekyll today and wondering if it causes him physical pain to have to fake a smile. To what extent is Henry Jekyll, pleasant doctor and sophisticated upperclass gentleman a painful mask he has to wear and does the discomfort ever feel physical?

I was at the local aquarium today (this is the perfect time of year to go because it's open but there are no tourists so it's never crowded and admission is cheap) hanging out and doodling on one of the benches while I watched the fish. I had on headphones to listen to an audio book and to provide a buffer between myself and anyone who might try to talk to me and I had been looking forward to relaxing for a couple of hours when a family walked up and the father waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention. The minute they started asking me questions about what I was drawing I was filled with what I can only describe as intense dismay.

Obviously the family being present isn't in of itself an issue, it's a public aquarium, it's aimed at families and parts of the aquarium are geared specifically at children, but the family noticed me drawing and stopped to talk to me.

I reiterate that this was not something they did wrong, they were just being friendly, but I was really not prepared to have a conversation and I found the whole ordeal to be...well an ordeal. They were interested in what I was drawing (a sketch of Henry Jekyll because he's been on my mind off and on) and just the thought of having to explain who this character was, hoping they got it, and having to potentially explain why I was drawing him felt overwhelming.

And it was, they did not know who Henry Jekyll was, they were vaguely aware of Jekyll and Hyde but weren't the type of people to read classic literature and had never heard of the musical or actually seen for themselves any movies featuring the character. The mom commented that he looks like "a Disney villain from back in the 90s" which...fair assessment, I can't pretend I don't see why she would have thought that. The older kid was probably the most interested and wanted to see more of my drawings which made me really uncomfortable but I let him look through my sketchbook anyway because his parents kept saying he was interested in drawing and he loves art and I felt too anxious to say no.

I made small talk with the parents for a while, all the usual, "what's your name, where you from, what's your job?" (I hate those questions, they are usually the least interesting things about any people, myself included) and I wondered if this is what Henry does on a regular day. Has ordinary conversations with reasonably nice people and feel completely like a fish out of water the whole time. I felt pretty terrible about it too, I didn't have any hard feelings or resentment but the whole time I was thinking "Stop touching my things, go away, please fucking leave so I can get back to my audio book and my drawing. I just wanted to sit with the fish for a few hours because it's supposed to be quiet here this time of year."

No one ever seems to catch on that physically talking to people is an effort for me. I've gone my whole life and no one has ever noticed that I'm anxious or uncomfortable in situations where I have to speak out loud because I've gotten good at faking small talk and I know how to make my voice sound pleasant.

It's strange because I express myself easily enough in writing and I like messaging with people over text but the minute I have to be verbal with people I don't know I feel like I'm putting on an immense effort. I have to consciously choose a tone, figure out what words I want to say, be ready with an explanation in case I'm asked questions and I have to do all of it in real time on the spot. It feels like improve, like I'm constantly doing an improve routine and I know most people would say "Just be yourself!" But myself doesn't want to be doing this at all. Myself wants to be drawing and looking at fish. Even as a child I was never very social, I liked to doodle or daydream or build with my lego sets. I got reprimanded a lot for being too quiet. So I made myself more talkative and learned how to hold conversations. I learned to blend in but it's so tiring at times and I can swear when it's at its worst it feels almost physical. The discomfort becomes a suffocating "texture" on my skin and in my brain and I have to keep pretending like I don't notice it because every time I try to articulate how I feel people don't understand it. It's just not a thing they experience.

So I just keep "acting normal," and wonder if there's something wrong with me, like I'm operating on a different frequency from the people around me and I'm the only one on that frequency so other people don't even know it exists. It's...incredibly isolating at times. Even my partner doesn't seem to hear the world as loud as I do or experience the "texture" it's just a strange THING that I'm stuck with by myself. I wonder if it was the same for Henry Jekyll? Except instead being of too quiet he was too loud, too boisterous, threw tantrums, didn't know when to stop rambling about anatomy and weird gross medical facts. So he learned how to cover it and move through life pretending to be interested in everyone else but keenly aware they could never share his interests because his favorite subjects were too grisly and if he started talking about diseases he'd put everyone off. I head-canon Jekyll loves what he does, but he doesn't love it for reasons a doctor should, he doesn't care that much about healing the sick, he cares about conquering illnesses, he likes to learn about symptoms, he enjoys the disgusting viscera of his work. But he can't let on that this is what he enjoys about his work because that's not noble or heroic, it's something most people would find creepy of him. So he buries it and pretends he cares about curing the sick. He pretends he enjoys talking to people who don't know anything about who he is or what he does but they think they do because they are aware of doctors and understand that medicine exists. All the time he loathes it, it exhausts him and he can't even indulge in activities he enjoys to blow of steam because he enjoys things like brawling, doing drugs, and fucking. All things a man of his status shouldn't be seen doing. There's an image people associate with Henry Jekyll and it's an image he can't afford to tarnish...

but it's not really HIS image, it's just a buffer he keeps up to make himself more palatable. I wonder if that ever hurts him physically, if the mask ever feels like a "texture" muffling him.

there are times when I feel like it's no wonder he wasn't repulsed by Hyde when he first saw his reflection. Because I can only imagine by the time Hyde showed up he was already completely burnt out on being Jekyll.

[yuyu1024]

Dating app

Pairings: San x Y/N

Genre/tags: stranger to something more

Warning: 🔞 mdni, angst? smut, dirty talk, cursing, pet names (baby and noona), unprotected sex (be safe everyone), small age gap, phone sex?

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 4.9k ish

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

A/N: another San one shot. This one is from my draft from few weeks ago. Just finished it.

Masterlist

----------------------------------------------------

It has been two years since you last dated. Your ex broke your heart and trust in men. Which also affected your self-esteem BIG time.

But here you are now, years later trying. With a little help of technology.

"If you find a match... just swipe right." Your friend tells you while you speak with her through loudspeaker. "But of course, check his profile first and use your instinct."

"But what if... I don't get a match?" You nervously say as you button your pajama top.

"Then no match... you can try again tomorrow... the next day... and then the next day... until you find a matches and pick whoever you want to talk to."

"Talk?" You grab your phone that is laying on top of your bed. "We... need to talk?" You sound nervous

"Girl... of course! How should you know a guy if you don't talk to him?"

"I thought... we just... text...like... like in the beginning..."

"Oh well... if you message someone... and find him okay... you need to tell him your situation.. that you are shy and it takes time for you to receive calls..."

You flop you face down your mattress while sitting on the carpet. "I think guys will find me weird and boring." You mumble.

"For some guys.. maybe... but there are guy who find these things cute or interesting.. so... it's okay."

"You're so nice to me, Unnie."

"I'm helping you... because you are my friend... and you are like a younger sister for me..."

"Thank you!"

"Don't mention it... just stay calm and don't rush... and if you need something to make you brave, take a few shots of soju... knowing you... you might not even open the app tonight." She teases

"You know me so well." You laugh

"Okay... goodluck!"

***

An hour later after scrolling through the app. Swiping left more than you imagine and almost giving up, the notification sound of a DM made you almost drop your phone on your face.

"Shit!" You hiss as you see the red dot on the corner of your phone. Contemplating if you'll read it or not.

But then you saw his profile picture. "Fuck it! I'll read it!" You say. Or should we say its the soju that's talking.

🖤: hi

And after you read his message, a new message comes in.

🖤: how's your day?

"He's asking about my day?" You wonder. "Hmm... atleast his not asking for nudes or anything." You chuckle at your remark

💖: my day was hectic but survived it.

💖: you?

He reads it immediately

🖤: not that great.

🖤: but I did go to the gym to workout

🖤: i feel a little better

You pause after you read his message and click on his profile.

"Ohhh... he's... younger than me." You mumble

🖤: did that make you check my profile?

"Shit."

You try to type an excuse so he would not think that you are one thirsty ass woman

🖤: don't worry. I won't judge you.

You sigh as you read his message. "Let's just be honest..."

💖: I checked your profile because I was curious about your age.

🖤: does age matter to you?

💖: i don't think so...

💖: it's just that, I haven't dated a guy who is younger than me.

🖤: hmm, I see.

💖: how about you? does age matter to you?

🖤: no.

Then there is a few second gap between his next message

🖤: I messaged you first remember?

You two messaged each other for a while. You guys talked about simple things only at first. The common questions; favorite food, movie, drinks, places to go, snacks, music and hobbies. It even went on you talking about one guy you tried dating before using the app.

It even sounded that you were ranting to him because of how awful that blind date. That you don't have a choice to go since it was referred by a family friend.

You texted so fucking long that it reached to the point that you don't even noticed the time. Weird enough, you don't even feel sleepy even after taking four shots of soju earlier.

Not gonna lie, you even look excited talking to this stranger all of a sudden.

🖤: are you not tired yet?

"Crap!" You cover you eyes with your pillow. "I talked too much... he must want for me to stop replying..."

💖: oh, sorry. I must be keeping you awake. Sorry for being talkative.

🖤: it's okay. I'm not sleepy anyways.

🖤: i'm just worried you wanted to sleep but you try to keep me company.

💖: no... i'm good. :)

🖤: you don't have work tomorrow?

💖: I don't. I'm off tomorrow.

💖: going to a friend's wedding

🖤: i see.

Then you see the dot moving at the bottom of the screen. He is typing but it's taking quite a time.

"What is he typing...?" You murmur, curious

*pings*

🖤: can I please get your number and call you?

You jolt up your bed and gaps "what?!"

This is what your friend is worried about. Your introvert ass and you issues with talking to strangers at phone.

But then come to think of it, you have talked to him for hours now. Like since seven to now almost midnight. And you seem comfortable with him. However he is still a stranger.

Shit. Now you are all over the place! You don't know what to reply

🖤: please?

🖤: i want to hear your voice.

"Crap. Crap. Crap... crap!" You get up from your bed in panic and went to your bathroom to wash your face and then run outside your room, to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. "You are such a weirdo, y/n!" You say to yourself

🖤: you must be panicking coz a stranger is asking for your number

🖤: if you are not comfortable giving it... I understand.

You read his messages as you tap your foot nervously while holding the glass of water on your other hand

"I need to be honest." You tell yourself. "Yeah... I need to.."

💖: I'm so sorry. I not yet comfortable to give it and talk through voice call. We just met.. or should I say, started to connect.

💖: I hope you understand.

💖: and sorry for being weird.

🖤: I understand. :)

🖤: and no... you're not weird.

You put the glass of water on the counter and then melt on the floor as relief rush through your whole body

*ping*

🖤: i'm going to bed now. I have to get up early later. Thank you for accepting my DM and chatting with me. I hope we get to know each other more.

🖤: and also...

🖤: here is my number XX-XXXX-XXX

🖤: call me when you're ready.

****

The next day, you left in the morning to get to your friend's wedding. You had woke up early, dressed up nicely, fixed your hair and put make up on which more than you usually do. However, you missed your alarm! You woke up 15mins after which is a pretty big deal since you are very much slow when it comes to getting ready. Plus the traffic on the way is a cherry on top.

You are just glad you didn't missed seeing her walking down the isle. Or else she will kill you if you missed it.

"Y/n, thank you for coming." Your friend says as you two hug.

"Oh gosh! You're one beautiful bride!" You say as you hug her tightly. "Congrats to the both of you..." you say, smiling to the newly weds

"Unnie said you were late..."

"I was... I didn't expect the traffic on the way here."

"I heard there was an accident... my cousin too almost came late because of it." The groom says

"Oh... that's unfortunate. I hope no one got hurt in that accident."

"Yeah..." you agree

And then as you continue to chat with your friend, her husband and a few other old classmate from college, your phone vibrates from your bag. Someone must've texted you. But you chose not to check it as you are still busy chatting and you think it's not that important anyways. However, a few minutes have passed and it started to vibrate nonstop.

"It might be important. Just answer it... it's fine." One of your friend says

"Ahm... yeah... I am meeting a friend so..." you cautiously explain

"Oh. You're not going to the reception?" The bride ask

"Sorry... there was a conflict in my sched today... I said yes forgetting the time of your wedding..."

"It must be important... it's fine.. atleast you were present in my ceremony..." she smiles and hug you. "Go... we can do another celebration... with our group next time. After I come home from my honeymoon..."

"Sure! I promise I will be there. Congrats again."

After the hugs and goodbyes with everyone, you hurry your way out of the place. The sound of your heels are echoing off the walls because of the marble floor.

You pick up the call while catching your breathe as you go down. "Hello?"

"Finally... you answered." A low, rapsy voice says across the line.

"I'm sorry... I was talking to my friends and the newlyweds."

"Where are you?"

"I'm just about to get out of the hotel."

"Okay." You hear him breathe a smile. "I can't wait to continue what we left off last night."

Fuck. You can feel your cheeks go hot and red as you hear the man across the line. Who would've thought that the guy you were messaging through the dating app last night, the same guy you said you can't give your number yet is actually talking so sexy to you right now. In the middle of the fucking day.

How? What happened last night?

*****(last night)

You read his text. His number.

💖: ok. Thank you for understanding.

💖: goodnight, San.

🖤: goodnight, y/n

That was supposed to be it. Goodnight and goodbye for now.

But then the stupidity in you kicked in or the clumpsy fingers or whatever.

You were trying to save his number in your phone. You were supposed to long press it, copy and paste into your phonebook and save. However you didn't pressed long enough that it actually just tapped it and dialling it. Weird right? That's not how it should be coz it should have a pop up asking you if you want to call.

BUT the dating app... yeah... it just went through

You did end the call one ring in when you realized what just had happened. Nonetheless you stopped it.

💖: sorry.. I didn't mean to dial.

💖: again, goodnight.

Exhaling all the nerves out of your system when you didn't get a reply. Meaning he is asleep and didn't noticed it. Phew!

You then drag yourself back to your bed to actually try to go to sleep since you need to be fresh for tomorrow.

Pillows in place, blanket over you and lampshade off. You close your eyes already and begin to catch your sleep. When all of a sudden your phone rings.

Without opening your eyes, you grab your phone and answer. "Hello?"

"Did I woke you up?"

Your eyes widens as you hear a deep and unfamiliar voice. You check the number and you curse under your breathe when you saw that it's him.

"Do you want me to believe that you just accidentally called me?" He say, sounding like he is glad you did call him. Coz one, he finally got your number and he didn't have to actually wait

"I swear... I didn't... I... I was just... trying to save it. I didn't know how.. Its my first time using this app... s-so..." you stutter as you explain

He breathes a laugh, "it's okay... No need to explain."

You didn't speak after. You are trying to process the situation now.

"Are you uncomfortable hearing me? Or talking to me?"

You shake your head. "No..."

"Then... why are you suddenly quiet..."

"Well... because..."

"Well?"

"You sound hot..." you blurt out.

He releases a very hearty deep laugh. He's caught off guard by your compliment.

"Do I now?" He says, "you're not bad as well... you sound the way I imagined you sound..."

Imagine. He... imagined you?

"Annoying?" You ask

"No... you sound beautiful."

Your cheeks heats up. Fuck. He sounds hot through the texting but damn he sound more hot talking and with his voice.

"I thought you were going to sleep already... w-why did you call?"

"Hmm... I can't help it. I went to the bathroom to shower and then when I get back to my bed... I saw the notification." He pauses for a second and then adds, "my heart fluttered when I knew it was you."

"You're so good at doing this huh..."

"Doing what?"

"This... making my heart skip a beat with your words... and now... your voice and the way you speak."

He chuckles again, "you are way more honest and open talking than texting...I like that." He says, "But baby, I think you're labelling me as someone who goes to this dating app and flirt with everyone, anyone who replies or DMs me..." he clicks his tongue, "I'm not like that... like you... I'm just new to this. A month ago new."

"Really?"

"I promise."

"How come?"

"I don't know... it's not my thing."

"Then what made you do it?"

"Hmm..." you hear shuffling across the call. He probaby went to bed or moved around his bed. "A friend told me to try... he got tired of being my wingman."

Now its you who is chuckling. "My friend too... that's why I opened an account earlier."

"Interesting..." he breathes, "what are you doing now?"

"Laying in bed..."

"And...?"

"Talking to you..."

"That's it?"

"Yeah...why? what else am I supposed to do..?"

"You're adorable." He smiles

"Hmm... you?" You innocently ask

He was silent for a few seconds. "What answer you want to hear?"

"W-what? I don't... understand..."

Then while you wait for his answer, you hear his breathing change. He took a deep breathe and it sound shaky.

"I can be honest with you... but baby... I don't want to scare you away..."

Your head begins to spin by a weird thought that popped in your brain.

"What is it?"

"Do you really want to know?" His voice went an octave lower.

"Yes..."

His lips curves into a smile, pleased that you said yes. "I'm actually... touching myself... more specifically... I'm pumping my dick."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

"W-why?" You can't hide the shakiness in your breathe. It's not that you are flabbergasted by what he is doing and him telling you for real. But, you are being affected.

It's been two years since you dated. Meaning its also been that long since you had a dick in you. And this... him, San, talking to you like this and describing you what he's doing is making something purr under those white panties that you are wearing.

"What you mean why?" He asks, realing you back from your thoughts. "I am talking to you... and your voice is turning me on."

"Don't be silly..."

"I'm not... I can let you hear it if you want... or maybe... show you if you don't believe me..." the way he said those words sounds very teasing and tempting. "You're suddenly quiet... c'mon tell me what you want... I don't mind."

Pressing your thighs together whilst bitting your lower lip, you try to think before you speak. You need to be rational with this. You just fucking met this guy through a dating app hours ago and he's already offering you to see him touch himself or atleast make you hear it.

It's wrong. Very wrong. But...

"Ughhh...." he groans. You can hear him take quick breathes and fight a moan through his lips.

"Are you close?" You ask. Your voice is almost a whisper

"No... not yet..."

"Does it feel good though?"

"Yeah... but I probably will come sooner if..."

"If what?"

"If we both do it..."

Squirming under your blanket, you are very tempted. You can already feel a pool building up in your core by just the way he speaks to you now. You are that dry in that department.

"Y/n... are you touching yourself?" He asks

"Hmmm..." you hum as you're so shy to answer.

"What are you touching..? Don't be shy... tell me..."

Your mouth opens to speak but a needy groan escapes your lips. "I'm...nnnghhh... my tits..."

"Are your nipples hard?"

"Ngghhh... yeah..."

"Fuck..." he hisses. "You sound so sexy... so needy..."

"Ahhh..." you turn to your side, squeazing your tits with one hand while your hand is still holding on the the phone

"Put it on loud speaker baby... please yourself...and listen to how my dick sounds like... wet with pre cum and imagine it... pounding you..."

What the fuck is going on... this started sweet and casual talk only but then just as when the clock strikes midnight, you are now phone sexing with a stranger.

"Are you wet already?"

"V-very..." you breathe as your fingers are now in your panties and circling slow and sensually over your clit. "I'm not good at this... I don't know if I can make myself cum..."

"Do you want my help?"

"How...?"

"Let's meet... not now but... maybe tomorrow? If you are okay with it."

And fuck, you agreed.

****(Present)

"Found you."

You yelp as you hear his whisper from behind you. Almost dropping your phone in the process.

"You scared me!" You say, hands on your chest

Looking up to see, to finally see the guy you just had phone sex or whatever it is called last night, is actually standing in front of you now.

He is wearing a all black fit shirt underneath his cool looking brown leather jacket. And damn, he looks fine as hell. He already looked handsome in his profile picture and a few headshots in the dating app but in real life? His shoulder is wide, he is taller than you, his plump pinkish lips, his beautiful freckles and his voice. He's not human. He is more of a goddess.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to scare you." He puts down his phone and slid it in his pocket which you mimic. "How's the wedding?"

"It was amazing..." you answer, "almost didn't make it but... I ran as fast as I could."

He frowns and then looks at your shoes, "In those heels?"

You glance at your feet and then raise your gaze to his face. He looks not pleased but then with a hint of worry. "Yeah..."

"Is your feet fine?" He then goes down on his knees and suddenly touches one of your feet. You panic and get embarassed.

"Hey... what are you doing?" You hiss, holding onto his shoulder, tapping. You are asking him to get up. "Please... get up..."

"Why are you being acting funny?" He smiles

"Funny? Me? No!" You turn your back on him and start walking ahead.

"Baby," he calls and then holding on to your forearm, stopping you from walking. "Where are you going? That's not the way to where we agreed to go..."

"Oh..."

He is smirking. He is enjoying how flustered you are. "You're so adorable..." he mumbles. And then his hand slides down your forearm until it reaches your hands. He locked his fingers with yours as if, that is where it should have been in the first place. "Just follow me... okay?"

"You know... this is very out of character for me..." you quietly say as you two walk. "I usually say no... or run away... from creeps."

"So you think... I'm a creep?" He arches a brow, glancing at you

"A little...." you shyly answer

"Hmm... I understand..." he chuckles. "I acted a little out of character too... you know... masturbating and coming so intensely just from your voice and moans through the phone..."

"San!" You squeal and try to cover his mouth your hands. "Seriously? Why are you saying that so loud?"

He moves away, teasing you as you can't reach his mouth to cover it. "Why are you embarassed of what made you feel good?"

Blushing you look away. A little embarassed. Not because you didn't like what you guys did last night. You enjoyed it so much, thats not queationable. But it's just that, you have never been this open about sensual or sexual things. Even with your exes. Yeah you fuck with them but thats it. No talks like this before or after. Like sex is just a routine. (Also not that you had a handful of exes as well.)

But then look at this stranger, he... he is already doing a complete opposite of all your exes from the beginning to the last. He's very vocal and you are not used to it. Nonetheless, you like. You are just.... shy.

***

"Fuck!" You gasp as he pushes you against the wall and started making out with you like its his last day of living in this world. San is a beast. A hungry beast!

"I'm sorry.... if... we are skipping... a few step... in getting to know each other." He says in between kisses. "I can't help myself... the moment I saw you from afar... I am already drooling..."

"Ughh!" You throw your head back, eyes shut and mouth open as his lips trail down from your jaw, neck and to your collarbone. Whilst his hand is busy squeezing your ass under.

"You can tell me to stop... whenever you feel uncomfortable... okay?" He asks before sucking your skin, leaving a red mark. "Answer me, baby."

Opening your eyes, you see him staring at you with such desire and yearning. "Okay..." your voice is weak already. Nothing even happened yet. You two are just kissing and grinding at each other.

"Good girl..." the satisfide smile on his face, ugh, so hot.

He lifts you up, gripping on your thights, proceeds on carrying you inside his apartment. You arms wrapped around his neck and forehead, leaning onto his.

"We are definitely moving pass the dating stage huh..." you say

"Don't worry, baby. We have time to date... just right now... I cannot wait to please you."

Smiling while bitting your lip, "stop calling me baby. I'm not a child." You playfully tell him

"What do you want me to call you then?" He gently puts you down his bed and goes on to kneel in front of you. "Darling? Honey? Babe?"

You wrinkle your nose, shaking your head. "No..."

"Then what?"

"Hmmm.... noona?"

He raises both eyebrows, looking a bit surprised by your choice. "Is this about our four year gap?" He asks as he removes his jacket off and then throws it somewhere

You shrug your shoulders, "maybe..."

"Okay.... I can call you noona... but in one condition...or a few."

"And what are they?"

"I know we just met... but I don't fuck around baby..." he begins as he slowly lifts your skirt up to your thighs. "Delete the dating app... delete your account... or any fucker who you tried dating you in your phone. Coz...from now on... you are mine... okay?"

He dives his head under your skirt, spreads your legs and went straight to your clothed core and begins to kiss you. Right there, in the middle.

"Oh!" You inhale a sharp hiss as you feel his soft lips touching you.

Chills run up from your spine and your heart starts to beat faster than a horse. This is new and this is thrilling.

"You haven't answered me yet..." he gets up, moves closer to you and take you by your chin. His two fingers lightly touching and making you look up. "You're mine now... got it?"

You open your mouth to speak. "Y-yes..."

A smile spread across his lips and cheeks. "Good..." he leans lower and forward, hovering you. "And I'm yours... noona." He whispers.

Showered by gentle kisses right below your ears and neck is making you go insane. But him calling you noona, with that deep ass voice, you are leaking down there already.

"Kiss me..." you whisper, eyes shut. "Kiss me more..."

Your back is now the bed and he is on top of you. He obeys your wishes while he satisfy his hands with massaging your tits. He is pinching your nipples hard even under that cream blouse you are wearing. He even likes to rub his thumb over it from time to time.

"San..." you say, pulling away your brusied lips from his. "I need you to fuck me now... please?"

"Okay..." he gets up on his knees and then you start to undress as he begins to take his shirt off.

He is ripped. Dang, you hit a jackpot!

"Liking what you are seeing?" He sounds cocky but you don't give a damn.

He can be cocky all he wants coz he is one of God's greatest creation. Especially that thick, throbbing dick. It's perfect. You just know it.

"I don't have condoms with me nor in my bathroom... is it okay?"

"I don't care. Just get in me!" You jump forward at him and crash your lips to his again.

This time, both of you are skimming your hands from all over each other's body. Making sure you both touch every curve and every turn ons to make this session more intense.

"You're so fucking wet." He smirks. He is cupping you down there. "This laced panties need to go..." he then goes to rip it off you. Intense but so fucking sexy. "It's as wet as I imagined it to be..."

"Aahh!" Your mouth drops the second he inserts one digit in.

"This is how fingering works, noona..." he whispers, kissing you by the jaw. Each sound of each kiss echoes into your ears. "Does it feel good?"

"Yes!" Hips starts to move along with his rythm. "Aah!" You squeal as he adds one digit. "San!" You hug him, holding onto him tight. "Please... I need you in me... I want to feel you now..."

Slowly he pulls out his fingers, spreading all your juices over your pussy and then wipe the rest onto his veiny cock.

"Lay down..."

You do as he says and as soon as your head rested on the pillows by the headboard, you spread yourself wide open for him to see you. Everything.

"My little pussy." He says, aligning his length in your entrance. "Fuck... just feeling you by the tip is driving me insane..."

He eases himself in. It burns. But its not a painful burn. It's something you can't describe besides fire, heat, burn or whatever.

"Ngghhhhaaa... holy crap!"

He is pounding you so hard, so strong that the bed, his bed, is actually moving and creaking. His hands are on the headboard, eyes locked in watching you unravel as you reach your turning point.

"San!" You gasp, putting your hands on his chest. "I can't... I can't keep it any longer... aah!" You shut your eyes as you feel something in your stomach, ready to burst. "Aaah! Fuck! It's so good!" You pant.

"Look at me...." he breathe. He is sweating and his ears are so red. "Look at me when you come... I want to see you loose it. Noona... look at me."

Your mouth is open in an O. Taking short and quick breathes as you prepare yourself to let out the loudest moan you've been trying to hold onto all this time.

And then, just a few more dig into you. "S-san..." his name is the only thing you could let out. Your legs and hands are shaking. It felt like you've ran a 15k marathon in a span of 20mins. You are weak as fuck. However, he is not done yet.

Your eyes are barely open but you still manage to watch him go on, reaching for his peak.

"Noona..." he calls, lowering down so he could give you a smooch. "Your moans are music to my ears..." he say. "And you're still tight after all that...?"

You smile weakly and tease him by clenching more causing him to hiss, biting his lip and whimper softly. He sounds cute whimpering, whining for your tightness.

"I'm now close..." he lightly puts his weight on you, hugging you and burying his face on your neck. "Shit...ahh... ahh... ugh!"

Warm liquid coats your walls and fills it to the brim. Like literally. You can feel him pump in you like there's no tomorrow.

"Holy shit." He chuckles as he get ups to look at the mess he did. "I guess... no sleeping in my bed tonight..."

"What?" You get up and saw the pool of cum coming out of you and him. "Oh no... I'm sorry!"

"Sssh...." he pushes the hairs off your face and kisses your lips for reassurance. "No need to worry... a bed is nothing compared to what you gave me..."

"This is so wrong..." you mumble all of a sudden. "I just had sex with you..."

"And?"

You press your thighs together, hiding you exposed pussy from him. "I just can't believe it."

"Do you regret it?"

You look away, shy. "Of course not..."

"Then why do you act like you do?" He kisses you on the cheek, making you look back at him.

"Are we going to be official? Like...go on dates? Like... you know..."

"A couple?"

You nod.

"Like I said... you're mine now. That means... no one can take you but me..." leaning again for a kiss but this time its softer and have a hint of reassurance to it. "You're my noona... my girl."

[vankaywie]

pairings : bigby wolf x gn!reader

tags : fluff , stinky bigby , uh I don't know

summary : helping bigby groom himself !!

an : SOMEONE REQUESTED I SHOULD MAKE A FLUFF OR A SMUT FIC OF BIGBY BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT !!! also hiii, i am so sorry if I haven't been posting for so long, i had a writers block and basically lost motivation to do anything. i sincerely apologise😭 sorry if this is inaccurate bigby, i haven't played twau in a while and my memory sucks. also sorry if this isnt smut, i kinda wanted to do fluff... (theres an unfinished bigby smut in my notes) ANOTHER APOLOGY!! sorry if this sucks because i just wrote this and it's currently 4am..

you've noticed bigby has been itching his chin alot, he was probably getting uncomfortable on how long his messy stubble is. bigby has been incredibly busy these past few weeks so his hygiene was... a mess. so you took it upon yourself and decided to help him.

bigby comes home exhausted, immediately sitting on the couch to relax... he didn't even realise you were sitting next to him. "oh fuck—" he flinches slightly. "I didn't see you there, bub.."

a frown forms on your face. "bigby... you stink."

he raises a brow. "i am?" he sniffs himself.. good god that stench. "fuck—"

you forced bigby to take a bath, helping him wash his hair and his back, using your cherry blossom shampoo on him and your lovely soap so for once he'd smell nice. after that, you let bigby dry himself with a towel as you look for the razor.

"you're not going to shave all my stubble off, are you?" bigby chuckles, towel wrapped around his waist, his hair still soaking wet.

"oh, i will if you don't dry your hair and then get your ass on this chair." you threaten him.

he grumbles, drying his hair with a towel and sitting down on the chair infront of you. grabbing the cheap electric razor on the sink, turning it on. you gently hold bigby's chin, turning his head on an angle so you can start trimming his stubble. as you trim him, he looks at your face, admiring you.

your cheeks flushes as you feel his gaze. "don't stare..." you whisper, making him grin.

"and why shouldn't i?"

"it's distracting.."

finally, you were done. he checks himself on the mirror, satisfied at the results. "nice one, doll."

you smiled softly, putting the chair and the razor away. "thanks, bub. I've also washed some of your clothes, they're probably dry by now so you can wear 'em."

he placed a hand at the back of your head, slowly pulling you closer to place a kiss on your forehead. "you're the best."

bigby decided to have a drink at holly's bar, the trip trap bar. he was extremely stressed. but then grendell's ass started bitching at bigby, ranting about how much of an asshole bigby is... but then... "and that bitch [name] looking right pass me, then ushering me out the fuckin' door. who do they think they are to fuckin' kick me out?!" grendell groans.

the unbothered bigby suddenly whips his head to glare at the man, quickly standing up and walking towards grendell. "i wouldn't call them that." he growls, his hazel eyes turning bright yellow, hinting his transformation. "it's happened before and it doesn't end well."

a fight begun, both grendell and bigby transforming, beating the hell out of each others. bigby was clawing at grendell's back, and grendell was trying to shake him off. eventually, grendell threw bigby across the room, the wolf crashing down at the tables and chairs at the corner. "fuckin' pause!" grendell yells, panting.

bigby growls, sitting up from the floor and glared at the monster infront of him. "what?"

"why the fuck do you smell like flowers and shits?!—"

[uchu-no-bashira]

PLEASE, let me nerd out with my OG Gyomei moots.

Mod here! Long read/rant about he big guy under the cut. Tagging @himejima-san @otomesass @the-axe-and-flail IDK ANY OTHER OG GYOMEI PEOPLE, SORRY-

You know what I love about Gyomei? And bear with me, because I'm not the best writer and it's so hard for me to be normal about this man and talk about him without stimming profusely - ANYWAY.

As a person who read the manga front to back and read about the descriptions of Gyomei's breathing style, movements and fighting style on the wiki, it is so exciting to see him animated, and it confirms all f the head-canon's I had about him fighting!

Sorry if I get a little nerdy or whatever, but I absolutely love, that I was right about one thing. ONCE HE STARTS, HE CANNOT STOP. Also, his weapon is NOT JUST DEADLY TO DEMONS! He is also a danger to HIMSELF! I mean, obviously, but just think about that! It's so cool! He has to simultaneously listen to the reverberations of his chain, get a mental image of his target and attack with INSANE accuracy, All while dodging his own axe and flail.

If you go frame by frame - yes, I did because I'm a nerd and have been waiting for this moment for like 2 years or whenever the Hashira meeting episode was first aired - you can see Gyomei using the chain as a BATTLING ROPE!! THAT IS SO COOOOOLL!! (calm down mod. deep breath) THIS MEANS, that he has to maintain a constant flow of momentum. And let's face it, he has the lower and upper body strength to do it! WHICH ALSO EXPLAINS WHY HE'S SO BIG!

I wondered, from the moment I read about his flash back or any of the little tidbits about him, why he wend from being thin to being extremely Jacked. One, it's because he believes a robust lower half is essential to maintaining stability, power etcetera - and he's right, because you're (supposed) to lift any and everything with your legs.

And, if you keep watching, he uses his chain, axe and flail as Nunchaku! Meaning the more momentum he has, the deadlier the attack. AND, you'll se him do a jumping side spin, which means he is JUMPING OVER AND DUCKING EITHER CHAN THAT HE IS USING. One, to not get hurt, Two, SO THEY DON'T GET TANGLED! Because you'll see him use his neck as well.

I IMPLORE ALL OF MY OG GYOMEI STANS - if you haven't already - TO GO BACK AND WATCH THAT SCENE FRAME BY FRAME. Because it is truly amazing and I just... Ahh~ I love him and his strength and resolve! And he did it so fluently! When we saw Tengen do some of the same (no shade because Tengen is fucking amazing too) He was screaming to the top of his lungs against Gyutaro.

Gyomei just did it, like he 'bout that life. UGHSRLGL;S I cannot. There are so many other things I'm missing, but that was the one that made me do the flappy hands, internal scream combo.

[nobodysdaydreams]

More Hatchetverse Theory: Sycamore High and the Timberwolves are connected to the Hatchetmen and the Tree-People

Starkid's Hatchetverse has retriggered my hyperfixation, and by golly if you think I'm not gonna share every unhinged theory...you're wrong. I’ll tag them “#hatchetverse theory” to make it easier. So let's dive in.

One thing I haven't seen anyone talking about is the fact that, based on what we know about canon, Sycamore High School likely shouldn't exist.

Hatchetfield is a "tiny town". There doesn't seem to be a reason for them to have two high schools, especially when Sycamore seems to not even have enough staff and students for most extra curriculars and programs (in TGWDLM, Paul mentions they don't have a theater program).

So why does Sycamore High School exist? Well, one thing I noticed was that SYCAMORE High as well as its mascot, the TIMBERwolves, have tree related pun names. And what a coincidence, trees happened to be big in the hatchetfield universe, particularly when it comes to the hatchetmen and their hatred of the LIB and magic/“the gift” in general. They did plant a forest of magic tree people after all. And, since they hate the LIB so much, they likely wouldn't want their children attending high school at one of the black altar locations, which just so happens to be Hatchetfield High. That gives them a motivation to build an alternative school.

Sounds like a pretty solid theory to me, but then there's also the fact that the residents also seem to have an odd attitude towards Sycamore High. It's not hated by Hatchetfield High with the same level of hatred they give the Clivesdale Chemists, but they still don't like Sycamore, and the students hate the idea of transferring there. Which seems odd. You'd think it would be the other way around since Hatchetfield High is the school with the black altar. Unless being around a black altar makes the students hate Sycamore, and I could probably do a whole different rant on how the LIB's influence is messing with the perceptions and behavior of the people of Hatchetfield, particularly at the altar locations or when someone uses or has used the black book, but maybe I'll save that for later.

However, if you really wanted to take this theory to the extreme, it could be part of the reason why Paul "doesn't like musicals." Musicals and music are the primary way Pokey expands his influence in Hatchetfield, at least in TGWDLM. That might be one of the reasons Sycamore doesn't have a choir or theater program: not just due to lack of students, but strategically to keep Pokey's influence out. Paul went to Sycamore High, which isn't a black altar (and indeed, might even be designed to counteract or resist the LIB), therefore he's more put off by music and musical performances in Hatchetfield, though he doesn't really know why.

I also suspect this isn't the only instance where the name of locations around town have significance. This has already been seen several times, particularly with the black altar locations.

For example:

The Starlight Theater: has a star theme similar to "the Church of the Starry Children"

CCRP (COVEN Communication Research and Power): Literally has the word "Coven" in it.

Lakeside Mall: Used to be the old mill (which would be located near water, also "mall" and "mill" are one letter off).

And trust me, I have my theories about Clivesdale as well, but again, maybe that one is better for another time.

I hope you enjoy Starkid fandom!

[minniiaa]

Sorry if this seems repetitive but I haven't been active on social media in yearsss

Is it true that there's a lot of lawlu hate on tiktok and Twitter? I'm so confused because there used to be so much love for the ship back in 2017/2018 from my perspective (Amino era).

The short answer: yes and no. Let me start by saying I'm not the best person to answer this since I purely consume on twitter. I made my personal twitter in 2007 like it's everyone I've ever known irl and has nothing to do with shipping or hobbies and I follow approx 0 accounts related to anime, manga, or lawlu. I just looked up lawlu a few times and browsed and suddenly it's my whole fucking timeline and there’s no going back and now I have a lawlu twitter (This makes me very happy).

So if anyone else has an opinion on this that is more in the community, please feel free to comment away. Otherwise, below are my observations.

First off, there IS a ton of love for the ship. Most of what I see is beautiful art (they got the nsfw ayo), memes, fanfics, and headcanons just like tumblr. There are tons of comments of people swooning over these posts, Lawlu IS one of the most popular OP ships after all.

There's just a vocal minority that are very against the concept of shipping and in that subset there are those who are very against Lawlu. There people out there that will literally list accounts to block that ship lawlu or write lawlu DNI in their bios. The same can be said for other ships, it's not just this one it’s any they deem a ‘pro ship’ (problematic ship) and Lawlu is generally considered one of these. Below as is an example:

The biggest issues I’ve seen with Lawlu are the following 1. luffy is aroace and cant be shipped period 2. law groomed luffy and the age gap is gross. IMO I think most of these people are just infantilizing Luffy as some goofy autistic kid that doesn't know what love and sex are when in reality he's very self-aware and happy does not equal stupid. Also he's 19 he’s not underage. He met Law twice when he was 17, one of which was saving his life as a doctor and Luffy was unconscious most of this time. Let's not forget Luffy's a war criminal kicking the asses of people 4x his age in a pirate world, age doesn't really work the same as irl.

BUTTT Not that any of this matters because you can ship whoever the fuck you what because guess what? It's ~fiction~. I could rant about how people can ship whatever the hell they want all day but I'll save my breath for now. (my opinion of course)

Also there are just mentally ill people who enjoy telling others to kys if you like something they like do. Lawlu shippers are just their chosen target demographic. Creators get foul messages in their inboxes, rude comments, just general hater behavior. Twitter is just a firey cesspool and all fandoms have 'fans' who do nothing but hate. We live in an age of negativity where being a hater is the cool thing to do.

HOWEVER, I see more people posting about why those people are wrong and stupid than the actual negative tweets but maybe that's because I actually support the ship and the algorithm sees that. Not sure how twitter works, nor do I want to know about that dumpster fire there's a reason I came over to tumblr.

As for tiktok, I don't really consume a lot of tiktok so I can't speak on it besides seeing cosplayers and cute animations/art. I'll leave that to the tiktok people to look into.

For argument's sake, I went through the lawlu tag and picked some lovely tweets to share with you so you can see the toxicity for yourself. Sadly only 10 images per post but I think you get the point. Thanks for the ask hope this was informative. :)

[sapphoshands]

I’d be curious about your Agatha thoughts (gives you a corn chip) because I too have feelingsTM about the “discourse” but I just wanted to say thanks for being a fun person to follow who has also been consumed by AAA brainrot but in a FUN way…like can we just enjoy fun things? Oy.

ONE CORN CHIP, you have poked the bear successfully (and thank you for saying nice things; i am glad my breakdown is enjoyable all around hahaha)

okay a couple people have actually poked me about this soooo. snark activated. rant unlocked. disclaimer, i have mostly been avoiding the tags so i'm sure this has been litigated elsewhere, but a few things annoying ME:

people saying the show last night is the wrong kind of queer. because. look. we are all just queer, okay. the show is queer. the show is SO MANY kinds of queer!

also did we accidentally erase the first five episodes because i don't know what show you [generic you] were watching but there has been intense lesbian activity on my screen since 'agnes' first sat down on her couch.

i also will be v sad if agatha and rio don't get at least one smooch, but we have three eps left? a third of the show? so i'm not exactly throwing a fit yet!

even if they don't smooch, their relationship has been such a joy to watch on screen and is so intense and involved and complex and fully-realised. like, we might not get a kiss, because i sure don't think we're heading for a happy ending, but... it's not like a kiss is what legitimises the whole thing, you know? IT'S THERE.

agreed that it's unfortunate we had a short ep last week and a long one this week, but i don't understand people who are saying we were short-changed last week specifically in agatha's trial. because. it is agatha's show. this whoooole thing. it is about agatha. all of it. all along. and it's not like a) she doesn't get the spotlight in everyone else's trial, or b) we didn't get enough character development for many many fanfics.

plus we got a long ep this week specifically so we could get more agnes and more agatha. i'm surprised they got away with putting so much agnes in the ep but oh my god i loved every second of it. kathryn hahn the manspreader dykespreader that you are.

fan hat off, notes hat on, i don't know what i would've cut out of the billy section. maybe a couple minutes of hospital time? couple minutes of bohner? not a lot of fat there! lots of stuff that's almost certainly going to have meaning to agatha's story!

some people will say cut the boring boyfriend but look. look. i am genuinely emotional about the interrelational queerness in this show now. i think this is a spectacular example of how stories that are overdone in pop culture generally can get a whole new life and vibe when they are seen through a diverse lens. this commentary on witchiness, queerness, otherness, coven as found family... it's saying some things, and it's not beating us over the head with them. we needed the queer billy backstory to make those work. plus, we're unlocking all new agatha feelings through billy and so the show has to give us some billy so we know why agatha has those feelings!

maybe i sound like too much of an apologist, and let's be real, i'm certainly not going to be rewatching the first two-thirds of that ep anywhere near as much as the entire rest of the season (so far). i'm not telling anyone they had to love it. i will also say, i've seen some reviewers talking about how this was the best ep so far and i REALLY side-eye that (and now i trust them much less). but i enjoyed the ep, way, way more than i expected. i almost kind of give a shit about billy now, and i absolutely give a shit about agatha's feelings about billy.

that said, it's not an attack to not have rio in the ep (when jac schaeffer has literally said they were rationing her). and neither rio nor billy are the most important parts of agatha's story. but they're both building towards it, in my opinion. we haven't lost anything by getting a little billy; we've immensely deepened the world of the show and agatha's character.

so there is one corn chip worth of thoughts! and now, back to writing fic.

[lovemyromance]

ACOTAR FANDOM RANT incoming:

Y'all will never see me commenting on a properly tagged anti-Elriel post just to start a fight or even point out something the OP misconstrued or concluded (however incorrectly).

Ok I've done it maybe like three times, and it was probably back from when I was brand spankin new to this fandom's insanity and didn't understand the rules (learned Very quickly as a result of a bad encounter with the you know who's), or because someone copy pasted my post to "prove me wrong" (they didn't)

I've only been active in this fandom since like February 2024, and I have yet to block anyone, block any tags, or even follow any tags.

I see just as many anti-Elriel posts as I see Elriel posts.

Let that sink in.

I don't "go looking" through the anti-elriel tags, but when you don't follow anything - you get a whole lot of everything in your "for you" page.

I see so many flat out wrong interpretations of canon text or people posting about how during "Gwyn & Azriel's dagger lesson, he let her use Truthteller" or "Elain is secretly so in love with Lucien that she self harms instead of using his gifts"

and you know what I do? I exercise my self-control, and scroll. None of my business.

Clearly, I am not someone who is interested or even out lurking in anti Elriel posts for a fight. And yet, I have so many antis commenting on my posts - getting mad - then blocking ME.

Does that make sense? They came onto my page, to tell me I was wrong, and then got mad when I very logically pointed out the flaws in their logic, and then blocked me.

Facts:

I don't go out and start fights on anti-Elriel posts.

When someone comes to my posts, and starts a fight, I am very respectful of that person. You'll see me calling their interpretation wrong - but you won't see me saying anything about them personally, or calling them names or slurs or anything of that nature.

I do not belittle others

I do not dismiss anyone's trauma

I do not diminish anyone's accomplishments

I am respectful of real people's boundaries

I have never brought up tasteless and crude arguments just to "win a fight"

And if anyone thinks otherwise, then go ahead, feel free to prove me wrong. Receipts are all up there. To this day, I haven't deleted a comment, post, or reblog. I have like 80 posts a day, surely if I have behaved poorly in any way, I would've slipped up by now and you'd be able to find it.

But I know I haven't.

Even when people didn't read my post or understand anything I was saying before coming into my comments to fight with me. Even when someone said my trauma doesn't matter. Even when someone said I was "anti SA victims" (which is really funny, because that was after I reluctantly pointed out that I was unfortunately ALSO an SA victim)

I have never, ever, said anything like that to anyone in this fandom. That's just not who I am.

So then why - WHY - do people think it's okay to send me anons that threaten to find me and get me to "stfu about elriel you fucking c*nt" and tell me to go off myself and if I ship Elriel I'm an abuser?

Genuinely - why is that necessary? Why does someone feel the need to type that out, read it back, nod to themselves like "oh yeah that's good". And then send it to a real person??

What do they think I'm going to do? What purpose does that serve? It's very clearly a troll or some Elucien/Gwynriel that doesn't like what I have to say - but why is this the reaction?

Having a preference for a fictional ship does not make you a bad person. I have not once engaged with ANY EL/GA and called them "anti - SA" or "pro - r*pe culture" if they were fighting with me on my post. I think they're crazy sometimes - don't get me wrong - but I'm not out here thinking someone who ships Elucien is anti-women.

That is crazy. If you think having any preference for a ship makes some a "BAD PERSON", respectfully please log off. Get out of this fandom because you are part of the reason it's gotten so bad.

Stop attacking real people over fucking fictional characters. It's not okay, in any context. And I'm tired of it.

Turning off my anons for at least a little bit, sorry to the ones I haven't gotten around to.

[66sharkteeth]

I am SO sorry about that other anon good lord, who do they think they are??? You're a human being with feelings and emotions and hardships!! Or a shark I guess in your case, but my point still stands.

I, too, have been a long-time fan of your comic. CoB is my favorite webcomic and I've been loyally following and reading the updates since... end of s1?? It's been a while. BUT despite that, I know that you're still a person at the end of the day, and that sometimes you just need to get shit off your chest. It's far healthier to vent and get things off your chest than it is to bottle it up.

I haven't paid attention because I'm following like 500 different tumblrs, but may I suggest tagging your rants? That way, if people don't want to see it, they can just blacklist the tag, and you can keep getting things off your chest.

>>> Also just a reminder to everyone that YOU CURATE YOUR OWN ONLINE EXPERIENCES. The tag blocker and unfollow button is there for a reason. If you don't like what someone posts, either block the tag or just unfollow them. It's not that hard.

Sorry to that anon in that I didn’t mean to send any hate their way. I appreciate what you’re saying but I understand their point. I made this as a space for fans and I shouldn’t be using it for personal baggage. I’m just going to try to avoid using it like that from now on, so hopefully a tag won’t be necessary but I’ll make sure to do so if I do fall in that hole again. I hopefully just find a better outlet, but I just always appreciate being heard here, even if only by a few people. Even just a like on one of my posts tells me someone heard me and sometimes that’s just all I need. This was just kinda the only place I can get that since Twitter and IG would attract too much attention, and well, my private accounts… just feel like screaming into a void that just echos everything back and confirms everything I’m venting about. I’m gonna try to avoid venting here from now on and do my best to just keep it a positive fan space, but I appreciate all the support up til now whenever I’ve been having a bad night