#i also have food i dont share out in the main apartment and my roommates are super good about it none of us touch eachothers stuff but

[moodr1ng]

re last post while im being chatty (sleeping pills do that to me): i have a kinda strange relationship w my knuckle tattoos. when i was 17 i was in a pretty rough spot in life. though i wasnt in The Absolute Worst Years, things werent going great on pretty much any front. i was failing out of school at the time, i saw no future for myself, i felt like i had fucked up all my options beyond any redemption. i lived in a "bad neighborhood", in a social housing apartment where i shared the one bedroom with my sister and my mom slept in the living room. i had like, two irl friends and one of those friendships was quite toxic and codependent. my mental health was abysmal and my parents were at the end of their rope with what to do with me. nobody even believed id manage to graduate high school anymore. i had no money except what i could glean from art commissions on tumblr and whatnot. i was perpetually broke and so were my friends (we shoplifted quite a bit at that time). i always knew my mom and i didnt exactly have much money but i was really feeling it then, and more than that, i felt like this prophecy was hanging over my head, that i would too end up like my parents: an underpaid worker in a shit job with seemingly no upsides or ways to move forward.

yet i had an inkling that one day i might get out of this; that i might one day escape this and 'rise above my station', 'make it' in some way. i pictured myself as someone who did make it: an older version of me, who i pictured very clean-cut and acceptable-looking, maybe wearing a suit or something. i hated that version of me; the sellout. i looked at that future me and thought: dont you dare forget about me. dont you dare forget about all of us here - not just my family but everyone i loved, and the people in the same neighborhoods and the same situation. i guess it was a moment of class awareness and solidarity. i thought: ill never let myself become a clean-cut, law-abiding, middle class sycophant who looks down on people like me.

so i got commission money for the cheapest tattoo machine i could get, some $50 crappy machine i got off ebay that came with needles and inks, and i sat at my kitchen table one afternoon with an internet friend on a skype call and tattooed my own knuckles - right hand tattooed with the left hand and all. i chose "DIRT POOR". i thought: there. not only can i see it, everyone can. i can rise up as much as i can in the world. but there will always be this neon sign on my hand that says: i came from here.

and i stuck with that for a very long time. i loved those tattoos. when i stopped loving them (because theyre kinda ugly, and i dont like explaining them to people, etc) i still loved the meaning behind them.

but then i actually 'made it'. i mean, not really. i didnt truly make it. i dont have a job, my main income is disability benefits, but im blessed that i also have my etsy shop and a roommate who helps with rent and a very cheap apartment, all of which means i have an income thats almost minimum wage and benefit from a lot of government aid, and through that ive set aside sizeable savings. i dont have to worry about paying for my food or home or clothes or other necessities, and i can go for drinks with friends or order takeout or buy myself little eccentricities just because i want to. i certainly didnt turn out clean-cut and proper in a suit, but i got to a place that 17 year old tattooing himself on a dirty kitchen table thought hed never get to.

and now that im here the tattoos feel.. silly. shameful. the people who ask me about them are most often panhandlers - and when i translate what it means to them i feel like such a poser. like, dirt poor? really? but im not dirt poor. im doing fine. if i dont get into the extensive backstory of the tattoos every time, i just.. look like someone trying to look rougher than i am. i feel like im appropriating a struggle that is no longer mine. and i dont even like the tattoos anymore and havent for a long time, and now the message itself doesnt feel worth having them.

like id forget where i come from if i didnt have it etched in my hands? like i even needed that reminder anyway? in the end, i got these because i didnt trust myself - because i thought my class solidarity was disingenuous, opportunistic, based only in my current circumstances. but ill never forget how i grew up. the message is already in me. i never needed a reminder. my past will always be a part of me.

so, anyway, ive been thinking of getting the tattoos lasered off. im far from being sure i wanna do it, though almost only because of the price, but ive been considering it often. i still feel a bit like its a betrayal of my 17 yo self. but then again, i think if he saw me now, 10 years older and in the position im in now, hed probably get it. hed see i havent really changed, not in the important ways. i think in the same way i need to forgive my past selves, maybe they too need to forgive me for moving on from them. so i really might get the laser, if not soon, then someday.

if i do, ill still have other hand and finger tattoos, so it wouldnt change much if i get new knuckle ones. if that does come to pass - im thinking "GOOD LUCK" this time.

[hoes4lino]

ʜᴇᴀʀᴛs ғᴜʟʟ ᴏғ ʟusᴛ 🎀

WARNING ⊂✦⊃ This story contains nsfw content; minors please don’t interact, please beware of what you consume online.

Summary: y/n and Jisung decided to became roommates once college started, everything went smoothly until Jisung brought his best friend Minho to the apartment to stay a couple weeks.

Genre: Roommates to lovers | Fluff x Smut

Word Count: 1.7k

“Y/n~~~ I promise you, he would just stay here for a couple months. He would also do chores and besides he is bringing CATS!!! YOU LOVE CATS CMON’” Jisung said while kneeling in front of you begging you to let Minho move into your shared apartment for few months.

“Fine… but only because he is bringing his cats in” you breathed out before Jisung stood up to give you a tight hug “ILYSM��� He squealed into the hug “H-hannie- I cant breathe” you said patting his back, “Hehe sorry I got too excited” Without wasting any other time he ran to his room to share the news with Minho.

You sat on the living room couch, nervous about having to live with Minho for a couple of months, yeah you knew him, you would go out to parties with him and Jisung and both of you go to the same college, however, as much as you knew Minho you knew about his flirt player personality. He would flirt with anything that moved but thankfully he has never do such thing with you; but if you were honest to yourself you were lowkey jealous at the lack of attention he gave you. He would look at you like his little sister, and you hated it, you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t crave for his attention in a non friendly way. For his lustful eyes staring at your body like you were his prey, for his hand caressing your body as if you were the most fragile flower he has ever touched, you shoved your thoughts away as you decided to prepare a welcoming dinner for Minho.

You put your airpods and played some music as you started chopping the vegetables, you were in your own world. Music running through your body, ignoring all your surrounding, you start moving your hips side to side as Pocket Rocket by cochise starts to play, following that silly tiktok dance that was stuck on your head. You were feeling yourself until you felt a soft breath on your neck, giving you instantly goosebumps, you stopped the music and turned around seeing Minho, with a dark facial expression you have never seen before, making the butterflies on your stomach go crazy.

Minho took a deep breath “jjamjangmyeon, my favorite” he licked his lips, eyes staring deeply into yours, a grinned adorning his face “YAH LEE MINHO, DONT LEAVE ME HERE UNPACKING YOUR STUFF ALONE” You were both interrupted by Jisung’s screams from upstairs, “GOING” he screamed back.

“Don’t prepare me dessert, I already have my own dessert on mind” He winked and grabbed a bottle of water which was his main goal before he got distracted teasing you; <th𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙡> you thought to as you moved your gaze back to the food.

Dinner time arrived and you and the boys were peacefully eating while talking, you guys were drinking some soju making your conversations a little bit tipsys. “Minho you have no idea when y/n was dating that bastard, it was hell for me” He dramatically threw his head back crying “This two bitches fucked every night like fucking bunnies” Jisung said while a hip-cuff left his mouth, you rolled your eyes and chuckle “All those nights were wastes of time, that bitch wouldn’t let me reach my high, I had to finish the work by myself” You said in disbelief remembering those embarrassing nights, you took another bite of your food ignoring Minho, who’s gaze was fixed on you with a smirk plastered in his face, “What a guy with few values, a woman pleasure comes first” He whispered, the whisper was low that you could barely hear it but loud enough for you to catch his intentions, you cough and excuse yourself to your room, leaving the two boys alone in the living room for the rest of the night.

The first month was hell to you as expected, Minho teasing you day and night, making your desires for him grow bigger. He would intentionally expose his thighs to you and rub them with his veiny hands up and down, making you squirm at the sight. While watching movies he would purposely sit besides you and snuggle on your neck, shivers going down your whole body. You knew what he was doing and you weren’t going to fell for it, you decided to play hard to get even though your heart just wanted to jump under him and let him touch every single part of you, ofc aroused by his actions you would touch yourself at night and moan his name, this became part of your daily night routine, your obsession grew so big you would touch yourself in public whenever a dirty thought of Minho fucking you popped in your mind.

Jisung and Minho were at the college campus doing some volunteering work, this meant you would have the apartment for your own for a couple hours, you decided to take a shower. You probably spend 3 hrs in the bathtub enjoying yourself, without someone knocking on the door telling you to come out, it was only you and the bubbles that covered all your body.

Finally you decided to leave the bathroom, walking into your room, you were putting your underwear when someone swung open your door “Y/n, have you se-” Minho stood up there eyes wide open analyzing your body, “YOU FUCKING PERVERT” you scream trying to cover yourself with your towel, “ME? You are the one who moans my name at night” Minho huffed, smirk plastered on his face, “You have no idea how bad you have messed up my sleeping schedule” He closed the door behind him walking slowly towards you.

You started backing off until you back hit the wall behind you, Minho guided his hand to cup your face, caressing your lips with his thumb, “Fuck y/n you have no idea how many years I have been craving for these” He gently brushed his lips against yours, he pulled back and look into your eyes “Can I?” Your words scrambled in your brain, not processing the situation with clarity, all you were able to do was nod like an obedient puppy. Without wasting time Minho slammed his lips into yours, you could feel the kiss was sincere, it was more like a cute confessing kiss than a hungry lustful kiss, as you two keep tasting each other lips Minho decide to deepen the kiss making a soft gasp leave your mouth, opening access to Minho’s tongue, you bit his bottom lip making him moan, you could feel a smirk growing on his face, he slowed started to travel his mouth down on your neck leaving wet kisses all over your expose neck and collarbone, “Oh darling~” he said biting your earlobe “You know I like to mark whats mine” he said softly sucking on your skin behind your earlobe, butterflies attacking your stomach at the feeling, if it wasn’t for Minho grabbing firmly your waist you would melt on his feet.

Unexpectedly he lift you laying you down on the mattress of your bed, the sensation of the soft cold material touching your skin made your shiver, Minho removed his shirt leaving his exposed bare chest on your sight as he placed underneath him, he grabbed the towel you were holding to cover yourself, he looked at you with eyes of consent, you nodded, removing the towel from your body, “Honey I knew you were so beautiful but fuck, seeing you bare under me, makes me feel like the luckiest guy ever” he stared planting wet kisses all over your chest, nipples and belly, soft moans leaving your mouth, “If my kisses drive you that crazy I wonder how you will take my cock” He chuckled “Let me treat you like my princess” He started sucking harder on your neck and chin leave dark purple hickeys, he looked at his masterpiece proud as he gently started guiding his hand to your wet core, whimpers leaving your mouth as you felt his veiny hands teasing your pussy, he chuckled “Once I give you my cock it will be the end for you, you would need Jisung’s to help you walk from now on” He teases you, his words making your cunt go crazy.

He downs himself a little your core now facing his face, he blew on it to see your lewd reactions, Minho enjoying the view he started sucking your pussy while his hand rubbed your clit, his eyes never leaving yours “Never thought a month was enough time for me to make you my slut” He giggled sending vibrations into your core, making you reach your high “Min I-m close” you whimper, legs shaking as Minho continue licking your pussy with his wet tongue, as you reach your high.

Minho stood up chuckling, he loved the view of your exposed body, he guided his hand to your breast and gave them a squeeze, you arch your back at the sensation, “Honey… I need help down here” He looked down at his boner, that you could see through his jeans, you were in love at how he could look so cute when asking something not so innocent, he sat down on the bed as your made your way to take his pants off, as soon as you removed his clothes his dick sprung free, you gently grabbed the base of the cock and started jerking it off, you gave his tip kitten licks, making him give soft moans.

“Stop teasing me you whore” he grabbed your hair and made you look him at the eyes, his lips wording “Suck me off”, Eyes never leaving yours, you started bopping your head up and down, adding some pressure on your tongue so he would have a tight feeling, your hands massaging his balls, was driving him to his high, as soon as he felt himself reaching his high he stopped you, “Can I-” without letting him finish you smacked your lip’s against his, kissing him hungrily, “Yes Min, make me yours” You say between the kiss, “Fuck, I love you” he chuckled, he switched places placing you again under him, his tip teasing your slit, you couldn’t help but moan his name, begging him to please you, couple seconds after teasing you he entered you, once his cock was full inside you he gave you time to adjust yourself waiting for your signal to start thrusting, “P-please” you breathe out, not wasting anymore time he began thrusting you.

His dick hitting that one spot that made you see the star, his soft moans making you leave this earth, he lowered himself a little bit so that he could play with your breast, sucking them as if they were his meal. Minho thrust began to felt sloppy meaning he was about to reach his high, he guided his hand to you clit rubbing it, so you could reach your high first; your vision went blank as you cum on his dick, thrust later he spread his seed inside you.

Minho collapsed on top of your body, not dropping all his weight on you as he didn’t want to squeeze you, he switched places, placing you on top of him, he kissed your forehead as he slowly removed his member out of your dripping cunt, “I don’t know if this is the right time to tell you, I wanted to this since we both met in high school” He giggled, his hands rubbing up and down you back, “Seems like dreams do come true” you laugh off, as you cuddle him, you eyes slowly closing until you heard the main door open, “Y/N, MINHO, I BROUGHT FOOD” Jisung screamed as he was about to open your door, “IM CHANGING RN, GONNA BE OUT IN A COUPLE MINUTES” you yelled back, both you and Minho look at each other and laughed at the situation, not knowing how to explain this to Jisung, “Guess theres no time to rest” He chuckled at you as he stood up to put his clothes back on.

[benvoliio]

university is slowly accumulating a stash of food you dont want to share in your sock drawer

[muwur]

long distance headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for daichi, suga, hinata & tsukki

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.5k words

a/n: hello yall this is my first post! nobody asked, but i just started this haikyuu reader insert blog, feel free to check my page n see wazzap. also requests are open pls come fhorfjepfiwf;

daichi

✧ after high school, he stayed in miyagi while you went to tokyo, about 5 hours away, for college

✧ texting or calling whenever u can!

✧ you be like “heyyy”

✧ then he clap back with a “go focus on your lecture”

✧ “im not in lectureee”

✧ “you gave me your schedule so i know you’re in the middle of class”

✧ “...”

✧ makes sure you’re awake on time for your classes and calls you if he thinks you’re oversleeping (and hes usually right, this man just KNOWS)

✧ “morning y/n, i think you need to get to class soon”

✧ “mmrghhhghhh” *checks time* “holy sHI-- i forgot to set my alarm. IMMA BE LATE. THANKS DAICHI I LOVE YOU ILL TALK TO YOU LATER BYE”

✧ definitely skips out on some nights out with his friends to video chat you. you catch up, talk about future plans, reminisce, complain about not being able to hug one another, etc. occasionally one of you falls asleep on call, particularly after a long day or week. if he sleeps, you make sure you screenshot his sleeping face and start a picture collection  

✧ you hit him up when you get drunk lMAO

✧ “daiichiii, i miss youuu, i needdd youuuu AND i needa peeee---” “hey daichi, this is y/n’s friend. y/n’s pretty out of it now but they’ll be okay! we’re heading back to our place right now” “im gonna pEE IN THIS CAR”

✧ daichi coordinates with your friends to make sure you arrive home safely, use the bathroom, and get tucked into bed. he thanks the universe you have good friends. if it weren’t for them he’d probs have a heart attacc. sends you cute, reassuring voice messages for you to wake up to the next morning with hangover tips he learned from suga

✧ always checks in with you throughout the day, every day. able to pick up on the slightest hints if you’re feeling unwell and calls you immediately to try to make you feel better

✧ makes plans to visit you! you get really excited to introduce him to your college friends (who, after meeting him, tell you not only is he a hottie but is such a kind guy, fosho a keeper. they also ask if he has any cute friends)

✧ either holding your hand or has an arm around you most of the time.

✧ you spend all day together outside and wandering the city, then spend the night back at your place (sorry roommate, but we’re gonna have to kick you out for a lil bit--)    

sugawara

✧ you finally secured a job! unfortunately, the company required you to work for a year at their main facility, which was a 4 hour drive away from miyagi

✧ if suga wasn’t needed in miyagi for his teaching job, he would’ve tried to come with you

✧ after unloading your things in your new apartment and before parting ways, suga was like

✧ “everything’s unloaded everything from the car?”

✧ “yes maam”

✧ “do you have enough snacks?”

✧ “we just went to the grocery hun”

✧ “did you bring enough underwear?”

✧ “gDI yEs I dID”

✧ “:c promise to call me often”

✧ “<3333 of course���</p>

✧ good morning texts before y’all leave for work! you send each other cute pictures when you’re getting ready for the day (suga with bedhead, brushing his teeth? suga with his tie half done?? sign me up)

✧ always texts you when something reminds him of you, usually sends a picture along with it

✧ “the store was having a special on oranges today! this one reminds me of you”

✧ “why”

✧ “it just looks so cute~”

✧ will immediately call you if you send him any sort of message that worries him

-“hello? y/n what’s wrong, why is there blood?? speak to me, you haven’t replied in 5 minutes”

✧ “ohhh my bad, i’m just cleaning up don’t worry! i didn’t explain, but the picture i sent you isn’t blood, it’s ketchup i spilled on myself lolol”

✧ poor man nearly fainted from worry

✧ would pay you a surprise visit, making sure to plan it carefully so he knew you weren’t busy with work or plans. brings you gifts of your favorite snacks and a scarf that matches one of his own for the upcoming winter

✧ plans out that weekend for y’all, mans did his research beforehand. together, you toured the city and the surrounding nature, took lots of selfies (and many candids of you), and taste tested lots of foods before returning to your apartment and collapsing into your bed with exhaustion

✧ but y’all not too tired for cuddling n a lil something else >.>

hinata

✧ sure, being a couple hours away was hard for some... but y’all in different countries right now

✧ calls you immediately when there’s any inconvenience that occurs in his life, no matter how minor, thinking you’ll know how to fix it (or at least give him the reassurance he needs)

✧ “hey y/n...”

✧ “what’s wrong? you sound worried”

✧ “i broke my bike, what do i do”

✧ “you what? are you alright?? how? where are you? it’s midnight there, honey”

✧ “i was biking back to my apartment after staying late to practice! i didn’t wanna hit this turtle, so i swerved into a pole and now my bike’s wrecked :**”

✧ “ahh, are you okay?? you’re not hurt are you :(”

✧ “no, im okay... but im tired and i have two miles to go ;(((”

✧ “;( im sorry babe but you gotta walk home. we’ll get you a new bike. ill stay on the phone with you until you get back. tell me about your day <3″</p>

✧ talks about you all the time to his friends! introduces you through video chat to them! “look how pretty and cute y/n is!”

✧ together you work out your time differences and busy schedules so you can chat whenever possible

✧ he lets you know whenever he bought something for you, but never shows it to you because he’s excited to see your reaction in person when you reunite

✧ always asks you to send him pictures of yourself, he wants to see what you look like everyday he’s missing you in real life

✧ you surprise visit HIM. he’s so happy he could cry. shows you around every place he loves, shows you off to everyone he knows, holds your hand the entire time and never wants to let go, is practically glued to you not that you mind  

✧ you spend your last night together lying in the grass, hand in hand, looking at the stars and sharing sweet kisses  

tsukishima

✧ y’all went to separate universities. while he stayed relatively close to miyagi, you went across the country to okinawa, which was about a 3 hour flight away

✧ he sees all the couples around campus n becomes lowkey bitter, texts you immediately about gross pda like hand holding that he secretly wishes he could do with you “these people in relationships are too happy, i didn’t ask to see them gawk at each other all day” “u just miss me lmao”

✧ once overheard a convo on a shuttle at school that went like :

✧ person 1: “ugh, he’s so cute”

✧ person 2: “why dont you go out with him??”

✧ person 1: “i dunno, his dorm’s down the street, i can’t really do long distance”

✧ nANI (by the way, this is a irl conversation my friend overheard, oml)

✧ tsukki nearly choked on his morning coffee

✧ bothers texts you in class bc he’s bored and in need of your attention

✧ “hey tsukki this prof’s lectures are rlly dense, i needa focus, ill text u after”

✧ “but arent i more interesting than rocks”

✧ “trust me, id even rather watch some dino documentaries with you than be here”

✧ *read*

✧ likes to chat with you most nights as he lies in bed before going to sleep, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to your voice through his headphones. usually just talking about how your days went (as if you weren’t texting all day) or just casual talk and banter

✧ you remind him to make sure he’s taking care of himself and eating well

✧ “who are you? my mother?”

✧ “no but you’re about to be single”

✧ surprise visits you, tells you it was yamaguchi’s idea when it was really his own and yamaguchi was just teasing him about it  

✧ you show him around the city, sharing what you know about its rich history and culture. you visit most areas you both wanted to see before calling it a day

✧ your roommate conveniently spends that night over at their friend’s they just wanna give you alone time, which y’all very much needed. you make it a note to repay your roommate somehow.

✧ sweet lovin that he’s been missing, then some spooning as you sleep    

a/n: just wanna tackle these about 4 characters at a time but if u wanna see this headcanon w/ other characters feel free to hmu w/ an ask <3<b> also sorry if i text type a lot and that im inconsistent with my apostrophes, let me know if that’s something you want me to fix! 

[solaneceae]

MY HUMAN!EGOS AU

i got a surge of inspiration and started creating my own versions of the egos! its still a work in progress but i love them to bits and im really excited to share them

JACKIE

grew up in an abusive household, emotional and sometimes physical abuse

parents screamed at each other all the fucking time, father was an alcoholic

Left home as soon as he was able to live by himself (16)

he’s 22 now

poor

trans boi, on T, wears a binder cuz he can’t afford top surgery

lives in an apartment with two roommates: Max, a philipino sound designer and independent musician (they/them) and their girlfriend Nilanjana (Nana), a buff training coach from indian descent

Jackie is in a queerplatonic relationship with them: they cuddle and kiss on the forehead during movie nights and all that cute shit

he has a part-time day job to pay the rent and bills: he gives self-defense lessons

he drinks his respect women juice

vigilante at night. gets hurt a lot. his roommates think he fights in an illegal fight club for extra cash and are worried about him

wants to save people and spread positivity wherever he goes

but he has the wrong way to go about it

basically he does the PMA thing wrong and thinks any kind of negativity is bad and tries to force himself to be happy all the time. 

not healthy, someone help this poor boi

anger issues, undiagnosed ptsd and ADHD

antsy boi! stimmy boi! He’s always bouncing on his feet or humming a tune or fiddling with his hair

aromantic asexual

pure of heart, dumb of ass. seriously, he’s such a dumb, but he does have street smarts

vitiligo!!

light blue eyes, dyes his brown hair lime green

extrovert, loves people

the kind of guy to record himself doing parkour and post it on tiktok

team hot cocoa

for the love of god please don’t give him coffee, he’s enough of a jitterbug already

wants a dog. prolly needs an emotional support one.

plays the drums. Fished a beat-up set somewhere, would like a proper one

fights with his fists and a wooden staff

no special powers, just self-taught fighting skills, natural flexibility and talent at acrobatics and rigorous training

MARVIN

he was born with green cat eyes, the physical representation of his extremely potent magic. parents were freaked out, and basically hid him away

had no control over his powers as a baby, would wreak havoc around him. think Mob from Mob Psycho 100

the upper side of his face was badly burned when he lost control of his powers as a toddler, so he wears masks to hide the scars. the cat one is just the one he wears most often

“hey, nice mask!” “it’s a prosthetic.” “...oh.” (it’s not that bad really, he’s just really self-conscious about it)

he was homeschooled his whole life and generally wasn’t allowed to go out much, so his social life/skills are nonexistent

his parents are famous fashion designers

they’re super rich and travel the world and send him a ridiculous amount of money every month

they say it’s for work but the real reason is that they couldn’t deal with having a “freak” as a son but couldn’t abandon him without getting bad PR

so instead they just took their distance and left him to live in a big-ass mansion by himself as soon as he was old enough (10 years old)

they dont really care what he does. last time they called him was when he was 13

last time they sent him a birthday card was when he was 18

now he’s 24

(and at this point he makes me think of bruce wayne lmao. he needs an alfred)

since he has money and home, he doesn’t need a job, so he just stays cooped up in the property and almost never leaves, he orders his food and groceries to be delivered to him

he’s basically a hermit at this point. and a huge nerd

he tries to use his natural magic as little as possible, (hello trauma my old friend) so he still has flimsy control over it

instead he dabbles into wicca and the occult to do stuff

A bookworm, quite serious, dresses like a hipster art school student. he wears SAROUEL PANTS.

glasses!! Big round rimless glasses!! soft!!!!

long brown hair, messy bun, dyes the tips dark green and purple 

disaster gay

“sleep? what’s that? i only know coffee”

has three cats he rescued himself: Spades, Jasper and Poppy

has a huge greenhouse linked to the main building. he likes gardening a lot, whether it’s for his craft, for cooking or just because he likes seeing plants flourish

HOW THEY BOTH MET / IDEAS AND SHIT

Jackie tried to take on a whole ass drug ring and bit more than he could chew at the time so he got beat up pretty bad. He managed to escape with his trusty grappling hook and swung around a bit before crashing through the glass ceiling of the greenhouse while Marv was tending to his plants, in the early morning.

Long story short Marv is in a panic because a complete stranger (also the only human being he’s interacted with in months) just flopped in front of him and is probably dying and he wants to call an ambulance.

jackie: *beaten black and blue and coughing up blood* jackie: oh hey how’s it goin’ marv: *distressed nerd noises* marv: oh my god who the fuck are you but also are you dying in my house im calling an ambulance- jackie: uh yeah no please dont im kinda doing illegal stuff also i cant afford it marv: marv: wh-

also what if marv calls the family’s doctor since jackie won’t go to a hospital, and it’s fucking Schneep henrik: what the fuck did you do this time marv: it wasn’t me! jackie: your family doctor scares me marv: that’s why they hired him

maybe after that jackie keeps coming to see marv and marv is like “ugh you again-” and he always come to marv whenever he gets hurt, to get patched up by schneep. he broke the ceiling two more times basically they become “hey ron hey billy” vine, its just a habit at this point.

Marv is a rich boi that doesn’t know anything about life. at this point i realize he’s like a mix of Elsa and Rapunzel, and Jackie is kinda Flynn xD Jackie just… aggressively becomes Marv’s friend despite the magic man’s reluctance, and shows him the world. love me some smart grumpy nerd/dumb happy jock friendship

jackie: im your friend now marv: wh- jackie: *drags him outside* LETS GO CLIMB A BUILDING TOGETHER-

Marvin but he’s never been in a grocery store in his entire life because he just orders super expensive pre-made meals to his house or cooks his own veggies, and he’s just amazed at the first one they go to

like “wHAT, IT’S A ROW OF FREEZERS! Remind me to install one of these at my place!”

and Jackie, who just came here for bread and milk, looks at him fondly but also is very concerned. Also he doesnt question marv’s masks, he just thinks they look cool

@tabbynerdicat it’s my bois! @lilakennedy because i know you like those two, and your love for them motivated me to develop them first

[nicotineandtears-blog]

The Prologue.

It's been 2 nights since my whole world came to an burning end. I had lost all 14 of my friends within the matter of a few hours and I had no idea it happened. I found out after they decided to vote me off the island. Why? That’s the burning question in my head.

That may sound stupid and like an excuse, but I promise you, it's not. I don't know what I did, I dont even know what Im being accused of all I know is theyre upset with me and dont want to speak or see me. But I guess before I get to that part I should explain some backstory.

It started last year. I came to college to sort of become “my own” as my mom would say. Did I want to move 8 hours away from all of my friends? leave my family? No. All of my friends were 20 or 21 and going to the university in my hometown. They all were starting their careers and we all shared the same dream. My friends and I spent more time together than we needed to. We were inseparable. But me, being the 18 year old baby of the group, with my mother in my ear, I moved 8 hours away with no friends.

I hated my life, and when I say hate, I'm not being dramatic. It seemed as if no one understood me. I didn't have friends who shared the same ideals and dreams as me (which is actually very important FYI), I had no family, the food was horrible, it was about 15 degrees colder at all times and the beds were extremely small. But anyways, I hated my life. Till one day I decided to get in contact with an old friend from middle school. I saw she was attending the same Uni and I thought it would be cool to reconnect. Which it was, when I went to her dorm room, I instantly felt a connection and group dynamic between her friends and roommates.

That night was the start of a beautiful nightmare.

We all became so close within the matter of months. Me, Jenna, Briana, Donna, Dionne, Joe, Grace, and Rachel. These are the main characters of the this story and my daily diary entry and for privacy reasons I chose not to use their real names. There was 15 of us in total but those are the main ones you need to remember as I vent on here. But anyways, yes we all became a very close knit group, laughing every chance we got, getting dinner together every night, studying together, hanging between classes, walking to classes, going out on the weekend, or even staying in on the weekend. We were always together.

At first it was really hard for me to blend in with the group because they all went to high school with Jenna. Grace and I went to high school together (and eventually got really close but we will get there) and actually requested to be roommates with each other, we just weren't that close on a personal level at first. We were both very quiet and reserved people and didn't like to be public about our feelings. But with the majority of the group having gone to high school together, it was hard to blend easily. They had all these inside jokes and memories. They knew each other so well.

It's not that I was jealous of that, cause I wasn't. I missed my friend group. I didn't want to start over and blend with these people. I barely knew them. I was so different from everyone else. I didn't like secrets and it was apparent that this group had A LOT of them. They hid secrets from each other so easily it was 2nd nature. It was hard to accept and be apart of that. I dont show my feelings very well, I don't like expressing when I'm sad, mad, or something offends me. I have a thick skin and nothing gets to me. It's the way I was raised and brought up. 

Group chats was also an adjustment. This group ran and operated under one thing. Group chats. They had group chats for everything and that's how they all communicated. If only a few of us were going to the student union, there was a group chat about that. If someone annoyed the majority of the people in the room, someone would make a group chat specifically about that annoying person. The members of that group chat would then make fun of the person being talked about it right then and there. (DISCLAIMER; Im not innocent of this by any means, I did everything that I will explain about this group but it was an adjustment and chipped away a piece of who I really was as I made it my normal) I hated group chats in high school. I hated all the notifications and how many conversations would go on at once. It seemed like nothing could get done. And that's exactly how it happened with this group. So many messages that it was easy to miss plans.

If someone was left out of certain plans it was the end of the world. Even it was posted in the group chat, talked about for 45 minutes, and made a solid plan, if someone missed the messages, wasnt online, or couldn't make it, we were horrible friends and they would make a scene about it. (This is what I mean when I talk about sensitive)

Now, I was desperate to find where I belonged. At that time, I had no where or no one. So I made sure that I belonged in this group. I changed my views and ideals on things. I put my dreams on hold. All to fit into a group who then later chewed me up and spit me out without a second thought. But I was so blinded by wanting to be accepted, I actually made it in and they became my normal and I became theirs.

Before I move on to a new topic, there is something you should know. The group, one of their favorite pastimes was, shit talking. They shit talked about absolutely everything and everyone, including members of the group. If someone annoyed them, if someone wore an ugly color, if someone looked at us funny, etc. You get the point.

From the moment I entered, I knew there was something off about them and there was shadiness within the group. 

I did my best and actually became really close with Jenna again. We were both a mess and didn't want to be in that boring city, if you could even call it that. It was like we were in middle school again, fan girling over stupid boys, making stupid jokes about anything and everything, and spending hours on end together. It was nice to have one of my close friends again. I felt normal and it was like a piece of home. But It was very apparent that other people in the group didn't fuck with her as heavily as I did hence a shadiness that I mentioned earlier. I tried my best to stay out of it. But it got messy a long way. But my point is, they talk so much shit, even about each other.

Now I had a hidden paradise within all of this high school drama madness was, Taylor. I met Taylor at freshman orientation, we were in the same group and we partnered up in a game and dominated together without knowing anything about each other. That's when we knew we were meant to be together. The best part of Taylor was he loved guys just as much as I did. So we were a match made in heaven. We were competitive, stubborn, funny, smart, driven, insensitive, and both loved men. After orientation, I expected to never really see him again, we exchanged each other's numbers but I didn't expect to become close. I never do with those kind of encounters. But turns out we were destined to be together and once again faith did its job. We ended up just a few doors down from each other in the same dorm hall and on the same floor. What are the odds of that.  We saw each other everyday and I honestly never got tired of his presence. We think alike and hes is very blunt and honest about everything. He didn't like to express how he felt and he didn't like secrets. So we got along very well. (Now I am actually roommates with him in a house) 

He was my escape and my little paradise. I could tell him anything and he would either agree with me or give me his honest opinion. I think what I like most about him is that he reminds me of my true self. Even though I didnt realize this until recently. He reminds me of the old Valerie. 

I tried to bring him around the group but they hated him. Taylor is complicated for people who don't have a complex mind. He is too smart for his own good, he literally knows everything about everything, and at times it could get really annoying, but it's charming, he doesn't show emotion and he's very robotic. He doesnt like to be wrong, but does anyone? You could say that Taylor and the group were the same but the group does not admit when they're wrong and anyone who isnt in their inner circle, is irrelevant. They were right and never wrong. But Taylor, he was hardly ever, ever, ever wrong but when he was, he owned up to it. So Taylor was hated for how strong of a person he was, something I was afraid to be around these people.

This group was the death of a girl I use to call Valerie. No thats not my real name. (I refuse to use real names.) I ruined myself and everything I believed in and tried to accomplish, but I'm definitely not innocent in all this either. I destroyed my friendship with them without even meaning to. Its hurt me more than I expected. Their is an emptiness inside me, I feel alone. My whole life for the past year is now gone except for a few pieces. Its like it never happened and they never came into my life. They vanished so quickly and I didnt get the chance to even say goodbye. But after some thinking and long deliberation, I came to the conclusion that they damaged me just as much as I damaged them.