#i also have a very strained relationship with the concept of separating art from the artist

[mariocki]

RIP Daria Nicolodi (19.6.1950 – 26.11.2020)

"I grew up in a house that was like a library or a museum. I feel I refined Dario's taste very much. I went with him to many art exhibitions. [...] I feel I guided Dario to something outside the scope of just cinema, towards art, music, theatre, and other things."

"For me, I did not want to be a star; I just wanted to act well."

A true icon of the silver screen, and one of the most significant figures in Italian genre cinema of the 20th Century. Daria was born in Florence, in 1950, into a talented family of intellectuals and artists: her father was a lawyer, her mother an academic; her maternal grandfather was Alfredo Casella, a composer and conductor who counted Stravinsky, Mahler and Strauss among his friends.

Daria moved to Rome while still a teen, and by 1970 she was beginning to find work on stage and screen. Elio Petri was quick to spot her talent, guiding her through her first theatrical roles, and ultimately casting her as the female lead in La proprietà non è più un furto (Property Is No Longer a Theft, 1973), a highly political satire about wealth and class in modern Italy. The following year, she attended auditions for Profondo Rosso (Deep Red), where she met director Dario Argento. Until this point, she had mostly played attractive blondes and love interests; Argento could see that she was capable of more nuance, and had her cut her long hair and dye it red, adopt a more masculine style of dress, and bring her wry sense of humour to the character of Gianna. In return, Daria adopted some of the director's mannerisms and habits for her character, particularly in her physical movements and hand gestures. The two worked well together, on screen and off; they soon became romantically involved, and in 1975 Daria gave birth to a daughter, Asia Argento (her second, having previously had a child with sculptor Mario Ceroli).

Daria and Dario would remain together for the next ten years. In the process she became not only his partner, but his closest collaborator, and in many ways his muse. Before Asia was born, the two took a holiday in northern Europe, travelling around France, Germany and Switzerland. The trip reminded Daria of her grandmother - another artist, the French pianist Yvonne Müller Loeb Casella - who had a keen interest in the supernatural, and thrilled the young Nicolodi with tales of her time at an academy on the Swiss/German border, where the faculty had all practised black magic. Those stories would form the basic outline of Argento's next film, Suspiria (1977). The couple developed the idea between them, and worked together on the script, incorporating everything from fairy tales to Nicolodi's dreams. In later years, Argento would downplay the contribution made by Daria to the finished script, but her influence - and in turn, the way Suspiria would influence the entire horror genre, and develop Argento's work - is undeniable. Her fight for official recognition - and a screen credit as co-writer - left the actor exhausted.

Daria had also intended to act in the film, but was prevented by injury. She returned for Inferno (1980), the spiritual sequel to Suspiria, and once again contributed behind the cameras: the original concept was Nicolodi's, and she worked on the script with Dario. Unwilling to fight him again, her writing work went uncredited this time. With their professional relationship strained, Nicolodi would only agree to a small supporting role in Argento's next film, Tenebre (Tenebrae, 1982). However, when the American actor who had been cast as the female lead dropped out just before the start of shooting, Daria once again found herself starring in an Argento horror film. The shoot was not a happy one; as Daria bonded with her onscreen love interest, Anthony Franciosa, over a shared passion for theatre, Argento became jealous and difficult. The atmosphere on set deteriorated to such a point that, when directed to give a short, sharp scream for the final shot of the film (her final day of shooting), Daria instead unleashed a long, deafening howl of terror. What she described as her "cathartic release from the whole nightmare" would become one of the most iconic moments in the film.

By the time they were making Phenomena (Creepers, 1985), the relationship between Nicolodi and Argento was beginning to fail. They would separate that year, and although she initially did not express any interest in working for the director again, she was tempted back for Opera (1987) by an elaborate death scene. Outside of her work with Dario, Nicolodi had built up a modest but significant filmography with other big names in Italian genre cinema. For the great Mario Bava, she starred in his final film, Shock (1977); for his son, Lamberto, she took a supporting role in Le foto di Gioia (Delirium, 1987). Michele Soavi, a protégé of her former partner, cast her in La Setta (The Sect, 1991), but mainly she would concentrate on the stage from this point on, describing theatre as her first love. The tragic death of her elder daughter, Anna, in 1994, only kept her further away from the limelight. It was the burgeoning career of younger daughter Asia, both as actor and director, that would tempt her back in front of the cameras.

Although she made comparatively few films, Daria's impact on Italian horror cinema has been huge. What's most fascinating is how deeply individual and unique each of her performances were. It's tempting, in looking at her work with Dario Argento, to perhaps project a potential pattern in her different roles, that aligns with how he may have viewed their relationship. In Profondo Rosso, shot whilst they were still getting to know one another, she is self-contained, confident, attractive and capable. By Inferno, when their relationship was well established and they had a child together, her character is much more vulnerable, an innocent caught up in something terrible and in need of protection. In Tenebre, one of Argento's most accomplished films, she has her weakest part - she was unhappy with the role, which is notably underwritten compared to the characters around her, and in which her main purpose seems to be to react to the events unfolding. As their relationship faltered on the set of Phenomena, she took her ugliest role of all - a dark distortion of obsessive motherhood. Perhaps it might seem like a disservice to her, to make these comparisons, but it is also true that Daria was an incredibly obliging actor - always at pains to give her director (Argento or otherwise) exactly what she thought they needed, whether requested or not. Petri had told her she reminded him of a figure from his past, so she consciously exaggerated those mannerisms to please him; Argento originally struck her as egocentric, so she mirrored his stance and his gestures. A consummate professional, I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibilities that by Phenomena she was channeling their dysfunctional relationship and distorted self images into one of the most intense and disturbing performances of her career.

I would have first seen Daria in Profondo Rosso, more than a decade ago now. It remains one of my favourite films, and her performance in it quite simply one of my favourite performances ever given by an actor. Gianna is such a complete and unique creation, unlike not only any female character in Italian cinema at that point, but quite unlike any character in a horror film. Profondo Rosso is a giallo film, perhaps the finest giallo film - it is a bloody, terrifying slasher film in which horrific violence is visited on the undeserving. And as Gianna, Daria spends the entire film incredibly, almost deliriously happy. She grins, she poses, she spins her cigarellos between her fingers. She teases David Hemmings, pricks at his ego, challenges him to arm wrestling contests. She drives a broken down car, tricks her way into crime scenes, and takes photographs of witnesses even when strictly forbidden to. She is among the most likeable, endearing, and thoroughly real protagonists to ever appear in what is essentially a fantasy film. She is so very human that she grounds what should be a totally absurd concept, and in the process provides exactly what it is that makes that film work so well - and it did work, the film was a huge critical and commercial success, and revitalised Argento's career after an early 70s slump.

There are two cuts of Profondo Rosso, and I know there is a school of thought that the shorter, international cut (which removes much of Nicolodi's work, trimming all the more jovial and character-building scenes) is the superior one - that it makes for a sharper, more suspenseful thriller. I absolutely disagree. To cut the relationship scenes is to take out the heart and soul of the film: Hemmings is the purported lead, but his character is detached, emotionally stunted. The heart of the film is in Nicolodi - in her sharp suits and twinkling eye, in her laughter and her fear - and the only reason the suspense works at all is because the audience has a reason to care, someone to care about. Profondo Rosso was the first time I saw an Italian film not as a garish thrill, but as something much deeper, more profound. It was perhaps the first time I realised that a horror film could also be art. I fell in love with Italian cinema, with gialli, and with Daria Nicolodi.

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 1: Welcome to Comic Event Hell

You know what readers love? When the stories they’ve gotten invested in over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

And you know what writers love? When the story they’ve been crafting over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

Did I say love?

Because I didn’t mean it.

“Dark Cybertron” was penned by John Barber and James Roberts, with collaboration with comic writer and artist Phil Jimenez, and was published from early November, 2013 to late March, 2014. Atilio Rojo, James Raiz, and Livio Ramondelli did the art, each responsible for scenes in specific locations, with Robert Gill filling in as needed. Alex Milne, Andrew Griffith, and Brendan Cahill would also contribute pencils to the first issue and the back half of the series. It was a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the franchise, and the second birthday of Phase Two... which went on for over four months, but never mind that!

Both "Dark Cybertron” and its preliminary materials were made to go alongside the Transformers: Generations toy-line, each issue being included as a toy pack-in with whatever character was being featured… or, at least, that was the plan. Sometimes it didn’t work out. Regardless, this storyline was created to sell toys directly, as opposed to the MTMTE/RID series being made to sell toys more through the power of suggestion. It’s a small distinction, but important, because it will help explain any lack of soul one may perceive while they read “Dark Cybertron”.

“But Hannz!” you cry out, reaching to grab me by the throat and shake me like a rag doll, because to you I’m merely a faceless voice on the internet. “Surely by calling this specific storyline soulless, you’re completely ignoring the very nature of this franchise that you’re almost uncomfortably invested in!”

To which I’ll say this: look, I’m pretty realistic about where my giant space robots came from; Transformers as a franchise would not exist the way it does without Ronald Reagan introducing the Free Market to literal children and fucking up how we interact with media for the rest of time. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and that rings especially true when I’ve got a Spinister on my bookshelf staring me down as I write this, that was likely made out of plastics which either involved blood oil or unethical labor practices, if not both.

However!

The choices of a company to have their comic license holders to cook up an entire plot that derails what they’ve already got planned out for toy tie-in comics is a completely different animal than what IDW had had going on up to this point. Phase Two had been about exploring different ideas that hadn’t been able to be explored during the war, and seeing what happens when you take away a third of the logline for Transformers G1 as a whole. Being a part of a brand of toys was almost inconsequential to how the stories were being told; even the Spotlights, which were also toy tie-in comics, had plenty of charm to them, if only because there weren’t quite as many constraints placed on the writers, and they were stand-alone issues.

Of course, being tie-in comics isn’t the only reason that “Dark Cybertron” is a bit of a slog, considering everything IDW itself was trying to get done within this storyline, but we’ll cover the publishing company’s/Simon Furman’s/Transformers’ tumultuous relationship with the concept of gender identity and expression later on, when it becomes relevant to the story proper. This point also ties into the interesting origin of Windblade, who we’ll meet in a few issues, and what happens when you let your fanbase have a taste of power and forget that people might like to see themselves represented in the media they consume.

“Dark Cybertron” is what ended up making me stop reading MTMTE the first time I tried it in 2015. A big part of it was because it forced the reader to need so much information from RID and even events prior to Phase Two, it wasn’t very fun to try to parse what was going on, on top of the writing beginning to flag because of obvious constraints to what Barber and Roberts could actually do, both within their deadlines and the rules put in place by their higher ups for the event.

 “Dark Cybertron” is the result of the sort of executive meddling that kills reader enjoyment by requiring writers to cram their two worlds together as quickly as possible, without the option to go for nuance because there simply isn’t time. The reason we have four separate artists for the front half of this story is because Milne and Griffith didn’t have time to draw both their current workload and “Dark Cybertron” at the same time... but sales probably went up due to the nature of how the story was published, so I’m sure they didn’t really see a problem with it.

That’s a general “they”, not a Milne and Griffith “they”.

In short, we’ve got license contract obligations, fan-poll obligations, and gender stuff fighting for space within the next 12 issues, which will be published in the span of roughly four months. Things are probably going to be a little bloated and sloppy.

Regardless of any of these points, this is what we’ve got. It’s not like it’s all bad- “Dark Cybertron” has the benefit of being written by two people who had been working closely before it had even been conceptualized. Barber was the senior editor for MTMTE, and IDW as a whole until he left in 2016. It also isn’t a proper crossover- y’know, where two completely separate titles get mashed together for a bit. MTMTE and RID exist in the same universe, just have their own things going on, so a decent amount of things still carry over without you needing to have read every single thing in both. The writing, while not quite up to par with pieces that had more creative freedom and breathing room between scenes, is still recognizable as being Barber and Roberts’. Their voices are still here, they’re just strained under the weight of everything that has to be said inside of 12 issues.

With all THAT out of the way, let’s dive in to Dark Dawn: Dark Cybertron Chapter 1.

We get a quick rundown of the most basic information you’ll need for this entire story to make sense, as we reintroduce the fact that Shockwave is an ecoterrorist with more agendas than a daily planner factory on meth, and also that he grows magic crystals. I don’t care what he says, the Ores are fucking space-magic. If you don’t want to read through all of RID for everything else, please see Robots in Disguise (2012), #1-22- A Recap, For Reference Purposes.  We also get a quick rundown of the Lost Lighters’ deal, as Swerve potentially has a meta-episode.

Be careful what you fucking wish for, bucko.

Our story proper starts with a flashback to the shittiest road trip Cyclonus ever went on, as the Ark 1 finds itself at the edge of a mysterious portal. This is likely why he wasn’t super thrilled when the portal to Luna 1 showed up- portals are probably a touchy subject for him.

Jhiaxus doesn’t know what this portal is- surely this means that science has failed us, and it’s time to call in the religious crowd to try and suss out what’s going on here.

It’s moments like this that make me wonder what exactly happened in the Dead Universe that made Cyclonus’ cheek meat just pack up and leave.

Now, we know that Cyclonus is correct here, because we as readers have more knowledge than the characters at this point, but Jhiaxus tries to write off this theory as hogwash, because he is a man of rationality and science. This is a slight removal from his character in the present, whose most notable traits seem to be a lack of ethics and screaming.

Everyone here seems to be slightly different from their current iterations, actually; Galvatron doesn’t say a word as he steps between Jhiaxus and Cyclonus, only using his body to communicate that the scientist might want to back off. Cyclonus himself is certainly the wordiest we’ve ever seen him to be, droning on through his actual thought process before he comes to a conclusion on what exactly they’ve found. Compare this to the Cyclonus of today, who only deigns to grace everyone with his voice if they outright threaten him, have something he wants, or are Tailgate. If he were to ever pull this verbal meandering on board the Lost Light, people would probably assume he’s having a stroke.

Nova Prime- you remember him, don’t you?- gives not a fuck about the Dead Universe, only what it means for him personally. And what it means for him is more locations to subjugate, because he is cartoonishly evil. His character is the least removed from his present-day iteration out of everyone. He tells the crew they’ll be getting a little closer, only for the portal to do the work for them, by way of dark energy tentacles.

Wow, the pilot for the Ark 1 really is just straight-up named Butt, isn’t he? And what the fuck is that face you’re making, Cyclonus? Are you- oh my god, are you emoting? Oh my god, he’s emoting.

As the Ark 1 is pulled to its doom, Jhiaxus makes a quick phone call to Shockwave to tell him he’s his favorite, and to keep up the good work.

In the present, Shockwave reflects on just how friggin’ long this whole ordeal has taken. Fortunately, Waspinator and the Titan are almost here, and he can hardly wait.

Not, uh, that he’s got emotions or anything. It’s been established that he doesn’t have those anymore. Is impatience an emotion? Does that count?

Shockwave seems like he’d be really frustrating to write for.

Anyway, the Titan shows up, the Ore inside him and the Ore in the underground Crystal City combine, and the Titan starts screaming because everything hurts. Shockwave’s about as thrilled as he can be about the situation, given his lack of emotions.

Above Crystal City, we finally get back to that nonsense about the early sunrise, as someone- maybe Starscream, given the color of the narration box- waxes poetic on the planet of Cybertron, wartorn and wild in its rebirth, ruled by paranoia that has nothing to bounce off of, and so creates its own walls.

Then we get a detailed shot of Rattrap’s mug, and the moment is broken.

Rattrap’s character is a lot of fun in everything he gets tossed into, but you’re a goddamn liar if you think he’s pretty to look at. You are lying to yourself, and I won’t apologize for saying it.

Starscream walks out of his room in his hot new body, feeling fine and ready to take on the world. We’ll check in on him later in the day to see how that positive mentality is working out for him.

So, the sun hasn’t moved, and it’s way too early for the sun to even be up right now. That’s weird. Because I guess he didn’t know how the sun works, Starscream’s only just realized that this is perhaps a problem. He does some computer work and realizes that this is indeed a very bad thing, and asks that Rattrap call the Autobots. Not the ones who fucked off into the wilderness, the other ones. The gay, space ones.

Up in space, Orion Pax and his pals have found themselves in dire straits, the collapsing Gorlam Prime sucking their ship back down as the Death Ore consumes everything.

That’s not how engines work! And I think it really says something about the “Prelude” issues that I completely forgot why Wheelie was down an arm for a solid five seconds.

It turns out that Orion was the narrator the entire time, which I should have known- since when is the once and future Optimus Prime not the primary voice in any media he appears in?

It’s looking rough for the fellas, but luckily we’ve got to get the plot rolling, so the Lost Light VZZZZTs into existence and picks up the Skyroller to place it gently into its belly.

Orion isn’t exactly jazzed about the fact that Rodimus didn’t listen to what he told him, not even bothering to thank the guy for saving his life. I say y’all keep going on your Thunderclash Quest and leave this ungrateful loser behind. No space yachting for you, Orion.

The rest of the Pax Posse enter the Lost Light proper, and Hardhead reveals that he nearly joined the Quest, before he saw who all would be coming with, while Garnak has a tearful reunion with Rodimus. The fact that he’s calling him Sir- which I don’t recall him doing in Transformers (2009), at least not in a way that seems reminiscent of an unfortunate Antebellum Period Romance- feels rather weird, but I’m glad someone’s fucking happy to see Rodimus at least. Ultra Magnus asks Orion if he’ll be assuming command of the vessel, as Rodimus tries not to look horrified by the thought alone, but fortunately Orion’s not going to pull his “I’m Optimus Prime and I Can Do What I Want” Card just yet.

Smash cut to the bridge, as Rodimus tries to make himself sound competent, when Starscream calls. Orion doesn’t like that Starscream has their number, Perceptor almost reveals the fact that this ship technically doesn’t belong to a faction, likely due to being purchased after the war, and Cyclonus gets brought in for his professional opinion.

As it turns out, that early sunrise isn’t a sunrise at all, but a portal to the Dead Universe. This is a problem, because the Dead Universe really sucks, and you don’t want to go there, especially if you enjoy being alive. Orion seems more concerned about the fact that Starscream is ruling the planet, and Bumblebee is nowhere to be found.

Speaking of Bumblebee, he and all his camp buddies are psyching themselves up for a confrontation.

Swoop, please, this is hardly the time for crudeness.

The Dinobots, sick of Bumblebee’s dithering about, decide they’re going to fight the fucking sun and gear up. Prowl, though generally disliking their brand of problem-solving, does share his begrudging respect of their can-do attitude.

Their can-do attitude over fighting the fucking sun.

Then an earthquake happens and the ground rips open to reveal that Titan that Waspinator showed up with.

Shockwave takes over the narration at this point, and we get artsy, as we see events that haven’t transpired yet over musings on the nature of... time? Maybe? It would be in line with Roberts’ go-to topics, but honestly the whole thing’s kind of vague so I couldn’t give you a solid answer. Shockwave gets awfully introspective for a guy who shouldn’t care, I know that much. The point is, he is inevitable and is super good at logic and science.

Also, Nova Prime and Galvatron are back, which is cool, I guess. Not sure where Galvatron had gotten to exactly after the events of “Chaos”, but he’s back now, so it doesn’t matter too terribly much. Shockwave serves them, which we’ll probably get an explanation for at some point.

God, you can practically taste the desperation to pin all these plot points together before the entire thing implodes on itself.

[fightmechimchim]

Your First Kiss - BTS Scenarios

Kim Namjoon:

So far the night has been perfect. Namjoon and you went out for your fourth date; a late night picnic by the river followed by a walk around the area talking into the night. Neither one of you wanted to separate just yet so when your house appeared at the end of the road you pulled on his arm leading him away. Namjoon too walked slower, stopping in the middle of the pathway to point out something completely random.

You leaned into Namjoon’s side reaching to take his hand into your own. He smiled down at you adjusting his hand in yours so your fingers fit perfectly with his.

‘’Y/n, umh this has been very nice so far.’’ Namjoon said, a shy smiled pulling at his lips. You looked at him, his cheeks were flushed and he was avoiding your eyes looking to the sides of the road.

You noticed a pattern by now, every time you got to the end of your date Namjoon would suddenly turn shy, like a flower closing in on itself, you never guessed why.

‘’It was very nice indeed, I can’t wait for next Wednesday I’m sure you’ll like what I have planned.’’ You chirped absentmindedly bringing your joined hands to your chest.

Namjoon stopped in the middle of the road causing you to stumble in your step. You looked at him and the way his gaze fixated on his hand intertwined with yours resting in the middle of your chest. You looked down at your hands, a sudden heat tingling your back as you realised just how closely you kept his hand trapped to yourself.

You looked back at him. His lips were slightly parted and if you were to lean closer you could hear his soft breaths and if you leaned your head on his chest you could hear the racing beat of his heart. Maybe it was the way his eyes seemed glazed over with thoughts you’ll never hear or maybe it was the simplicity of his being making your entire body flare up with remedying light, like the first shine of the sun appearing from behind dark clouds of a storm reassuring you that everything will be okay, or maybe it was both, maybe something else entirely, but all of it made you aware how badly you wanted him, needed him to touch you, hold you and speak nothing and everything as long as you got to hear him.

You didn’t feel your feet lifting off the ground, you didn’t hear the world around you, the only thing in focus was him and his hand slipping around you waist closing the aching space between you. Then there was the warmth of his skin, the scent of him filling every edge of your brain and then there was one last gasp of breath heard somewhere in the back of your mind as you crashed your lips into his surrendering yourself to the complete bliss that shook your world like a supernova. You kissed him and you knew that you couldn’t say goodbye to this night, not when his hand pressed into your back supporting your body as he deepened the kiss as if there were miles between your lips and his he was desperate to close, not when he pulled your hand that was still intertwined with his to press into his own chest instead of yours.

Kim Seokjin:

‘’We’ve barely been in a relationship for three days and you’re already breaking up with me?’’ You asked crossing your arms over your chest as you stared down at your boyfriend who was plastered to his bed.

‘’Well I’m sorry, what do you want me to say?’’ Seokjin argued huffing as he rolled on his back so he could look at you.

‘’That you’re not breaking up with me because I lost at Mario Kart?’’ You asked poking his forehead.

‘’My finger slipped, S-L-I-P-P-E-D.’’ You exclaimed exasperated. You guessed that this is what you get when you start dating your best friend. Seokjin wrapped his fingers around your wrist pulling you onto the bed. You laid down beside him pulling at his arm to use it as a pillow.

‘’My girlfriend is so bad at gaming, how did this happen to me?’’ Seokjin fake cried into the mattress of the bed. You rolled your eyes pinching his arm lightly. He looked at you and began to laugh.

‘’What now?’’ You asked incredulously.

‘’You’re adorable,’’ Seokjin said softly. You stuck your tongue out at him and rolled on your side to face away from him.

‘’Hey don’t do that,’’ Your boyfriend whined as he wrapped his arm around your waist trying to pull you back to face him.

‘’Y/n’’ Seokjin said your name as a final warning, and before you knew it you were flipped onto your back with Seokjin hovering over you straddling your legs.

‘’Don’t ignore me.’’ He pouted.

‘’Don’t threaten to break up with me.’’ You retorted. Seokjin laughed falling on top of you, burying his face into your neck.

‘’I could never do that. Now that I have you I will never let you go.’’ He spoke softly letting his lips brush against your neck. Your entire body seemed to shake with shivers running down every inch of your skin.

Seokjin brought his face up to look at you.

‘’Are you okay?’’ He asked looking into your eyes, and god did his gaze do things to you. Your chest tightened and your heart strained against your ribcage.

‘’Kiss me.’’ You said.

And so he did, without hesitation or a second thought. He kissed you and it was everything and more.

Your entire body went into sensory overload, you could feel every touch of his. The way his hand sneaked to the back of your head to lift your face closer to his, the way his fingertips danced at the edges of your waist. You could feel every inch of his mouth exploring your own, you could feel the goose-bumps on the back of his neck that your own fingers brushed against but most importantly you could feel the complete and utter love and sincerity that he brought into the kiss, the promise and the passion, the unquestionable surrender to your heart. You were happy to respond with just as much love, with your own promises and your own surrender.

Once you pulled away, cursing the air for being a necessity, you looked up at the man gazing down at you.

‘’I’m definitely not letting you go.’’ He smiled through a shuddering breath of his words.

‘’Don’t worry, I won’t let you.’’ You laughed reaching to pull him back in.

Min Yoongi:

The concept of time has become non-existent to you, you couldn’t tell when the day began and when it ended. The only thing occupying your head was the wide framed canvas begging constant attention from your paint brushes and the mix of colours not only decorating every inch of your workspace but your hands and clothes too. It was a tough project, but it had to be done and it had to be done well.

And of course, Yoongi understood that, more than anyone else. He understood that important work demanded a lot of your time and effort, however, he also knew that important work should not be prioritised before your health. That’s exactly what had him worried, the fact that you didn’t seem to take as much care of yourself as he wanted you to.

You’ve been friends for quite some time, you were both keenly aware of the fact that your friendship meant something more to the both of you. There were things keeping you apart, things that you couldn’t pinpoint but still prevented you from being together. That was the inspiration for your art piece, you doubted anyone would be able to tell unless they were you, felt what you felt and thought as you did. Caught up in your work you ignored the strain in your wrist and the ache in your back…the ringing of your phone too. You just kept going.

After what felt like an eternity of the same declining sound of your phone Yoongi decided to go and see you. He didn’t hesitate to step into your apartment, he only stalled to wonder if it’s his job to do this. He’s not your boyfriend after all. But he is your friend and that’s what friends do.

Yoongi creept into your room, stopping when he finally reached you where you slept with your knees drawn to your chest and your head resting on your arms that you hugged yourself with. You looked so peaceful even if the disarray of colours staining your cheeks and your under nails spoke chaos.

Yoongi glimpsed at the canvas. He couldn’t recognise the feeling that rushed over his heart. There were quite a few songs in his life that managed to capture exactly what he felt, what he thought, it seemed strange for feelings to have sound, and now looking at the work of your heart painted so beautifully upon the canvas he felt like that again, this was your own song and he could hear it in the colours and the detail and the strokes that the canvas contained.

He leaned down to look at you, just to look at you. He couldn’t wait anymore, he didn’t want to. He leaned closer and then he paused as your eyes peeled open with an obvious struggle. Yoongi smiled as a look of confusion washed over your face before it shifted into a smile similar to his.

‘’Can I kiss you?’’ Yoongi asked in a helpless whisper. You only nodded in response as you untangled yourself from your chair and sunk into his lap, finally surrendering yourself to your feelings and letting go of unknown fears.

Yoongi held you, bringing you closer with every gasp that echoed through the room, savouring the taste of you and the feeling of you in his arms. Just like in the painting.

When you finally parted, taking in the air your lungs craved but wish it didn’t for breathing felt like wasted time keeping you from kissing him forever, you knew that this was more beautiful than anything you could ever paint and more real and magical than anything he could ever write.

Jung Hoseok:

‘’And so I said to her that no I don’t work here so there is absolutely nothing I can do for you even if I wanted to, but obviously I didn’t want to do anything for her considering her attitude,’’ You huffed and yelled pacing around his room while your boyfriend sat on the edge of his bed with his elbows on his knees trying his best to pay attention to everything you were saying. Which was an effort really considering how fast you were talking.

He also tried his best to keep the smile threatening to spill locked inside. He was fully aware that you were frustrated with what happened to you today but you were also so completely adorable stomping around the place with your eyes blown out in disbelief that Hoseok had to initially cover his mouth with his hand, his smile becoming too much of an effort to hide.

‘’She was so rude Hoseok like really I lost count of how many times I had to tell her I don’t work there.’’ You exclaimed falling onto the bed next to him. You crossed your arms against your chest biting your lip.

Hoseok looked to your side willing himself not to smile. He poked at your lip with his finger to get you to stop biting it.

‘’I’m sorry you had to deal with that love.’’ He tried to console you rubbing at your hands. You leaned on his shoulder playing with his fingers. Hoseok smiled at how gently you held his hands, unlike the force you used to throw the pillow at the wall earlier on.

‘’I just don’t understand why people are like this you know,’’ You began again and Hoseok suppressed a laugh as you let go of his hands and stood up to pace again.

‘’Does it really hurt them to be nice, it’s not that hard and-‘’ Whatever you were about to say next was lost in the void with no chance of return.

The only thing that occupied your head right now was static energy electrifying every single corner of your brain while your legs trembled and your heart drummed wildly against your ribs.

And there was also Hoseok, who in a moment of unexplainable surge of adoration leapt from his bed and taking your face in between his hands kissed you hard enough that every bit of anger and annoyance got replaced with a warm glee that cascaded down your body as if you’ve been submerged under a twenty-foot wave of pure affection.

As his lips parted from yours and Hoseok let his hands fall from your face to his sides, you just stared at him, his flushed face, glazed eyes and the trembling smile that didn’t seem to know whether it wanted to laugh or cry. Hoseok did not expect your first kiss to go quite like this, but now that it happened he was speechless.

‘’Woah-umh-ah-I-I…hah.’’ Hoseok stuttered as he stood still not quite daring to look at you. You stepped closer to him so your bodies touched. You took his hands in yours and guided them back to your face. Hoseok watched you lead him and listened to you when you whispered ‘Come here’ letting his lips meet yours again.

Park Jimin:

You were cleaning the table after your breakfast with Jimin, humming as you did so. You swiped away the crumbs and placed the dishes in the sink, you could wash them later. You kept humming voicing the few words you knew to the song out loud.

Jimin after washing up quickly made his way back to the kitchen where he saw you smiling to yourself while your feet shuffled on the cold floor and your hands moved about cleaning the space. The entire scene was too domestic and lovely for Jimin, he couldn’t help the small smile that pulled on his lips or prevent the crimson heat that bloomed on his cheeks.

He watched you move about just for a bit more, appreciating the sight in front of him with his whole heart, then he moved to your side slipping his arms around your waist. You startled but not a second later you relaxed into his comforting touch.

This was the first time for Jimin to spend an entire night at your place, your relationship was fairly new, neither of you ever felt the need to rush things. Rushing felt like a crime, especially when you wanted every single moment with him to last forever.

You turned around to face Jimin, an army of butterflies fluttered inside your chest and your ears burned with a sort of embarrassment. Being so close to Jimin was never a problem, but the way he looked at you and the way he held you, the very air in between you froze with heat. His eyes so bright and full of love spoke every promise of a happy future and his hands resting on your back swore to protect everything that made you.

Lost in the moment, in him, you didn’t feel your head move to closer to his, you didn’t notice the decreasing distance between your lips not until the very touch of them melted your bones. Even with your eyes closed, light shone in every corner of the dissipating darkness.

It was soft and beautiful and gentle and patient and it made everything around you a distant blur.

Jimin pulled away, his lips were still parted and his breath shuddered as he breathed in. His eyes were hazy and his cheeks were red. But it was there, somewhere on his face, he found the confirmation he wanted.

You woke from your own daydream, because that’s what it felt like, a daydream. The ones where you’re pulled out of with a shout from reality and even when your body heats with embarrassment your heart cannot feel an ounce of guilt for the pleasure that your dream has brought you. Except for this reality, with Jimin, was a dream unlike any other.

You laughed unable to hide the happiness. Jimin smiled broadly after licking his lips, his eyes hid for a moment as he tried to get himself to focus on you and tell you he loved you, but the words could not come out, he could not stop smiling.

‘’I know Jimin. I love you too.’’ You said, and as you told him what he could never tire of hearing his eyes sparked with a different flame. Desire. Passion. Love.

And so you didn’t falter when Jimin reached to cup your face and pull you back against him. You didn’t pull away as your lips danced with the fire in your hearts, and you didn’t stumble when Jimin led you to your room.

Kim Taehyung:

Walking to the nearest convenience store to buy some ramen after confessing your love to your long-time crush who immediately asked you to be his might not be the most romantic thing you could have done, but considering it’s one in the morning true romantic adventures will have to wait.

‘’The weather is nice, isn’t it? it’s perfect, you’re perfect, this is great, yes.’’ You exclaimed making Taehyung laugh.

‘’Y/n are you nervous?’’ Taehyung asked as he sat down on the ground pulling your hand to get you to sit down next to him.

‘’I’m not nervous, I’m just uh well you know.’’ You waved your hands in the air as if you could spell your feelings there.

The truth was, you were beyond nervous. You really didn’t plan anything since you thought your feelings will be rejected. Your fears and insecurities didn’t permit you to see that Taehyung’s love for you has been there since the day you met.

Taehyung watched you grow silent as you slipped away into undesired thoughts, after another unbearable moment of silence he took both of your hands into his and brought them close enough to his mouth to kiss them.

‘’You don’t have to be nervous around me and you don’t have to worry, because I care about you, and I trust us to be good to each other. If anything troubles you, you can depend on me okay?’’ He spoke softly into your hands using his thumbs to rub soothing circles into your skin. You knew he meant everything he said, it was in his eyes and his voice, it was in the way he brushed his lips against you knuckles not quite kissing them telling you that you don’t have to worry being with him. And that was enough to comfort your heart.

Once you smiled, Taehyung didn’t hesitate to dig into the food and feed it to you. The atmosphere and the weight in your chest eased immediately and you found yourself laughing out loud along with Taehyung. After your late night snack, both of you decided to wander around arms encircled around each other’s waists.

‘’Mhm my lips taste sweet.’’ You said licking your lips. Taehyung stopped to look at you and with a fleeting moment of hesitance that he dropped as soon as it came he leaned in to kiss you, though it wasn’t much of a kiss, just a simple peck, it was enough to glue to the ground. You were tempted to check your pulse, see if it’s there.

‘’Mhm yes they are sweet.’’ He spoke as if in serious consideration, the only indication of his true feelings was hidden behind his scarf where his neck burned with deep red. He looked at you, the way you pressed your fingertips to your lips, the way your eyes turned to a night sky drowning in stars.

‘’What?’’ Taehyung looked at you, waiting for you to say something but what he got instead was your arms gripping at his jacket as you closed the space between you.

You felt Taehyung fight against the smile surging to his face, he wanted to kiss you properly, wanted to fulfil the daydream he’s been chasing since the day he met you. You sneaked your hands around his neck pulling him even closer to which he did not protest. Taehyung held your waist keeping you locked to him as his other hand travelled from your neck to rest against your cheek as every bit of contained passion seeped into the long-awaited kiss. It was music and art and worlds colliding. You pulled away long enough to breathe and before either of you could manage a smile Taehyung pressed his lips to yours once more, you didn’t even bother thinking there was anything else you could do except hold him closer in this moment.  

Jeon Jungkook:

You were waiting with Jungkook before his solo performance, watching him get attended by stylists and performance directors giving him last minute pointers. Jungkook caught your eye and winked before pushing through the crowded room to get to you.

‘’How do you feel?’’ You asked him, unconsciously fixing the jacket around his shoulders. He smiled at you taking your hand into his, playing with your fingers.

‘’Excited, a little nervous but mostly excited.’’ He said, smiling broadly compelling you to grin as well.

‘’Good I’m happy for you, I know you’ll do great,’’ You encouraged him. Jungkook leaned in to kiss your forehead letting his lips rest against your skin for a bit longer than usual. When he pulled away he avoided your gaze, only looking off to the side.

You followed his stare, there was nothing much to see except a black gap in the curtains where people came and went, and beyond that thousands of cheering fans awaiting him. You looked back at Jungkook, he was teasing his lips between his teeth, biting hard enough for the soft pink skin to turn white.

‘’Hey, hey,’’ You said calling his attention. He looked at you with bright eyes, the innocent kind that screamed of youth and freedom. You poked his lip making him stop biting at it.

‘’Army are here to support you and cheer for you, there’s nothing you can do that’ll disappoint them.’’ You reassured him. Jungkook looked thoughtful for a few seconds.

‘’But what if I make a mistake?’’ He asked finally.

‘’Then you’ll move on and continue giving the best performance you can, your fans don’t frown when you make a mistake they only cheer harder to tell you it’s okay. They’re here to help you live your dream because you’re fulfilling theirs no matter what you do.’’ Jungkook knew you were right. He bit his lip again unknowingly making you poke him again.

‘’Stop biting your lips, find a better a habit.’’ You scolded him teasingly.

‘’Oh yeah?’’ Jungkook lifted his eyebrows. ‘’Like what?’’ He asked getting closer.

Whatever the sounds around you were ceased to matter, whatever it was you were saying got buried under a heavy blanket of snow and whether your heart was still hidden inside your chest you didn’t know because the only thing that was bright and clear was the feeling of Jungkook’s lips pressing into your own. Gently and unmoving as if one wrong move could blow you away from him like delicate flower petals torn away by the uncompromising wind. And when your heart began to demand your brain to function and kiss him back was when he pulled away.

Jungkook looked at you smiling lightly as he reached to cup your face. He wasn’t sure whether to appreciate or worry about your shocked expression.

‘’Do it again.’’ You mumbled hoping it was coherent.

‘’Again?’’ Jungkook asked biting his lip, to keep the sheepish grin at bay.

‘’Yes, if this is your new habit you must do it more than once?’’ You spoke all too fast making Jungkook laugh. He hummed before leaning in close to you so your foreheads rested against each other. With one last smile, he leaned in. Your heart soared at the soft brush of his lips but a shrill damned voice chased them away.

‘’Jungkook you’re needed now.’’ His manager awkwardly pointed at the stage. Jungkook sighed flashing you a grin, with a chaste kiss on your forehead and dark pink creeping up his neck,  he walked away. You licked your lips, biting them discretely.

‘’Better be a long-lasting habit.’’ You murmured as you listened to the cheers of Army invite him on stage.

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

What’s really fascinating (or really annoying, depending on your tolerance for confusion!) about the word “witch” as a self-identifier is that it’s embraced by -- and I’m not a sociologist or anything, but this is based on decades of observation and I feel semi-confident about it -- basically three entirely separate groups of people:

Group One uses witchcraft to mean basically any form of Western folk magic, a tradition passed on kind of piecemeal by teachers, books, and the general mechanisms of folklore.  They mean that their worldview is non-materialist, and their magic operates on the general model of like-influences-like and part-influences-whole, and they favor an ad hoc collection of crystals, herbs, divination, astrology, spoken charms, intention/affirmations, and sometimes the loosely defined concept of spirit guides.  They often make explicit connections between witchcraft and art, based on a shared respect for symbolic language and emotional effectiveness.  Because they generally oppose gatekeeping and accept all or most people as witches who self-identify, they’re easily mocked and dismissed as uneducated dilettantes, which some certainly are, but by no means all.  They do have deep historical roots, from Hellenistic Neoplatonism through the early modern grimoire tradition and into Spiritualism and the democratized tradition of folk magic that spread in the US through almanacs, candle shops, popular texts like The Long-Lost Friend, and all manner of professional folk healers and charmers -- but they don’t see the legitimacy of their practices as dependent on those roots, but rather on its personal meaning and usefulness to them.  They commonly embrace left-leaning politics for a variety of complicated cultural and historical reasons, and they are the group most likely to explicitly connect their witchcraft practice to their political beliefs.

Group Two is pretty intensely convinced that the only legitimate inheritors of the term witch are people with a direct spiritual connection to some version of European folk magic, derived from relationships with ancestral and land spirits that they believe as a matter of faith are the same spirits (or basically the same spirits) with whom historical witches were in relationship.  They may or may not conceptualize these spirit contacts as constituting a religion per se; they may or may not conceptualize the more powerful of these spirits as gods.  The core of their practice is contacting these “traditional” spirits through practices that are accepted as equally “traditional,” so they tend to think of themselves as anti-eclectic; this often makes them come across as elitist and kind of douchey, which they -- aren’t necessarily, but can be for sure.  They tend to be secretive, partially in opposition to what they see as a watering-down of these traditional practices, but also because the tradition itself is localized and intimate -- you literally can’t practice with someone *else’s* land spirits, fae, and ancestors, so groups and families tend to teach a small set of core practices, then kind of develop independently from each other.  They often favor incorporating ethnic and regional traditions, including some forms of folk Christianity, such as saint veneration, including angelic and demonic powers in their spirit families, and often share a self-mythology that derives from canonical and non-canonical Biblical stories about the nephilim and antediluvian priesthoods.  Because they quite literally draw their legitimacy from Blood and Soil (or at least the spiritual resonances involved with bloodlines and places), they can vibe a little fashy; though they’re mostly not fascists, this type of witchcraft obviously does attract small-c conservatives with a jaundiced attitude toward the newfangled.  At one point I would’ve said they were largely either apolitical/libertarian or center-right as a group, but a self-consciously leftist, largely anarcho-primitivist strain has emerged recently to shake things up a bit.

Group Three practice an explicitly religious neopagan form of initiatory witchcraft.  They were, until recently, the most front-facing group to claim the label witch, so they have kind of set the terms of debate for decades; they are now outnumbered by Group One, and it’s causing Some Drama, but we’re all managing.  They all kind of come out of the rootstock of Gardnerian witchcraft (with the possible exception of Anderson Feri-based traditions, which seem to have begun independent of Gardner’s work and then merged with it instead of starting with Gardner and diverging, cool, huh?), which was synthesized and systematized in the mid-20th century out of basically an ad hoc marriage between British folk magic a la Group Two and the Golden Dawn, which is its own long essay to explain, but basically think Freemasonry reskinned by the Romantic literary movement.  By no means are all of Group Three directly descended from the Gardnerians, but they are all kind of working variations on a theme in terms of how that “marriage” of folk and ceremonial magic should interact -- they are neither folk magicians nor ceremonialists, but a thing unto themselves syncretized from both.  Because this type of witchcraft was practiced extensively within the US counterculture during the 60s, 70s, and 80s, it has absorbed feminist, environmentalist, antiwar, and civil libertarian values, although the idea of explicitly wedding witchcraft and political action remains a more divisive idea here than it is among Group One, having passionate advocates both for and against.  This group is very comfortable talking about (and to!) deities, and the most likely to think of witchcraft as their religion, including devotion and service to the gods within their practice, although the theological variations are wide in terms of what exactly they think a deity *is.*  When I say they are “initiatory,” I mean in the broadest sense; some strands of this group do still believe that being a witch requires a teacher who then ritually initiates you, but the more liberalized view has become the norm, which is that a self-performed initiation ritual is legitimate.  Still, most of Group Three makes some sort of distinction between the non-initiated practitioner and someone who is A Witch by virtue of having been transformed on a karmic and spiritual level through the power of the gods.  It’s common, though not universal, for this group to take a rather Protestant view of initiation, where it is synonymous with an elevation to the priesthood; witchcraft is understood to be a religion of clergy, where initiating makes you a priest/ess and entails some form of service to deity and/or community.

These are semi-porous categories -- I’m a Group Three witch, but it’s perfectly easy for me to communicate with Groups One and Two, and in fact I’ve learned a lot from them over the years -- and some people have an equivalent foot in two different camps (I find it hard to imagine being evenly balanced between all three, but never say never?)  However, there’s a real fundamental difference between what these three groups think witchcraft is for and what it takes to claim the title.  I’m the hippie-dippy what’s-your-pronoun type, so I have no desire to invalidate any of these groups; their definitions vary, but I don’t see why that means any of them are more correct than the others, words are great, they mean all sorts of things.  I think we’d fight a lot less if we recognized that we aren’t using words the same way And That’s Okay, but that’s just my Gemini moon talking. 

[livayl]

A sneezy OC introduction

Until now I somehow forgot about this- but I thought it would be nice to write a bit about each of my OC´s sneeze related things. I´ll start with my oldest ones and end with the newest. :3

This is going to be long af for being pure self-indulgence but you can always scroll down to the character you like the most. xD In case you want to know more or look at their art/read some stories: If the tags work right all should be found by searching my blog for the OCs name. :)

Lillandlian: 

He has a distinctive photic sneeze reflex due to his unique, pallid complexion and the fact that he has lived in a deeply shaded forest. If not in complete shadows he´ll sneeze right after waking up, when passing through rays of bright sunshine or from looking directly into any radiant source of light. Quick changes in light-and shadow ratio can trigger a sudden release as well.

Those forced photic reactions tend to be quicker and less drawn out than his regular sneezes. For example a sudden yet forceful: “heh-PTSCHieh!”   Due to his unique link with nature the druid is also oversensitive to any kind of air pollution (smoke, ashes,...). This can cause prolonged fits and even breathing troubles. Lillandlian is also prone to catch colds and vulnerable to cool weather and chills. His cold sneezes tend to be more drawn out, come in multiples and rise from deep out of his fused lungs. His regular sneezes are very wet and spraying already and things can get very messy when he´s sick. Generally he does his best to keep them as quiet and polite as possible- giving them a softly spraying, yet forceful kind of tone. This won´t work when his nose is affected very badly- they´ll burst out unrestrained, loud and thus embarrass him even more than his regular ones.  The sounds are all wet, spraying with a lot of force behind and often ending with a higher pitch. Mostly expressed in one or two syllables but rarely in three. ”hhh-TDZSSSSCHiieh!”,  “ hah-IDZSCHHIIIEW!” Stifling them always hurts and needs lots of effort but he will do so to be unobtrusive and considerate despite his discomfort. Telling him to stop will secretly relieve him a lot.  The centaur always tries to shield or angle them away from people and prefers to safely release sneezes into a handkerchief. If nothing else is available he´ll sneeze against his bare forearm, wrist or into his hands. Feeling or seeing his own spray makes him cringe and shutter though.  He will bless other people with: “May Acacia bless you!/Acacias blessings be with you!” or simple “Blessings to you!/Bless you!” -referring to the goddess of nature and creation and wishing the other health in that way. Lillandlian will be very flustered after sneezing himself and apologize. 

Shokhrakka: 

Is sensitive to certain flowers and healing herbs. They will make his nose itch and tingle for a while before the teasing grows into a more pressing need. At that point his nose will be utterly swollen shut and they´ll burst out suddenly. With a lot of force behind. 

There´s not too much actual voice in them but a snarling, deeply growling quality mixed with the distinct sound of air rushing by mighty tusks. The kind of release that vibrates through ones chest and scrapes the throat a bit. Also they´re really loud and tend to startle others. They mostly happen in singles but a very persistent tickle can cause a double with a stray third trailing behind. They mostly sound like: “Huhhr-ERZSSCH-UE!”, “HEH-HURRZSCHH-ah!” Changing or cleaning his several nose piercings can cause a sudden and powerful reaction too. The big Orc is rarely sick and generally not prone to any kind of infection. Shokhrakka is not considered to be a sneezy person and has no other sensitivities.  He´s simply angling his head to an unoccupied side or will sneeze down towards the floor- not being rude on purpose but simply not thinking further about the matter. Surprisingly he always carries a handkerchief with him in case he needs to blow his nose.  If another person sneezes he´ll mostly ignore it but is more attentive to people who are close to him. Then he´ll make sure that the sneeze is not caused by any kind of discomfort. And in case it was: Find a way to ease it.

Marya: 

The Alchemist is allergic to a flower that´s simultaneously an important  medical ingredient called pale nightingale. It´s pollen or crushed petals will cause an instant and strong allergic reaction expressing itself in multiple wet, desperate sneezes. And a clogged or streaming nose as well as badly tearing eyes.  Generally her sneezes are pronounced softly: There´s a wet, mellow sound in them even in the bigger ones and they´re mostly voiced and blended together as one syllable, very rarely two. They come in rapid, spraying multiples that have a distinct “girlish” pitch and ending.  “apTSCHIU! -TSSCHih! -ahTSSCHIEW!” or “ Ah~PTSCHiih!- IZSCH-uh!- TDSCHiuh!”

They´re neither very loud nor very quiet and almost never stifled. She´d only restrain them to avoid sneezing on somebody or infecting another person. Marya tries to cover with a handkerchief or something else available. She is thoughtful about germs and careful not to cause others harm. Yet sneezing is a completely natural thing to her and normally no cause of embarrassment or stress. 

She also has the kink and very much enjoys most sneezes of other women. Especially those from her girlfriend Amaziah. In that relationship Marya has fantasies about being sneezed on and inducing the Archmage in various scenarios.With the later both have had a surprising amount of fun and excitement already. Although not a necessity for fun sneezing does play a big role in her sexuality.  Maryas overall constitution is very sturdy and healthy though she´s prone to falling sick when overworking herself over a long period of time. Or after taking care for Amaziah- because despite knowing better she´s adamant in cuddling and keeping comfortingly close to her girlfriend. There any shared intimacy and care is worth a possible contagion in her opinion.  She´ll mostly wish the other “Gesundheit!” after a sneeze but will vary with “Bless you.” or exclusively to Amaziah the elven “Anvael ci na´eve.” from time to time.

Amaziah:

Is a rather sneezy person and hates every bit of it. She´s a highly decorated leader that personally emphasizes a lot on self-control, manners and ever present strength. So when her body is “disfunctioning” like this it makes her feel angry, annoyed and embarrassed in company.   This is why she´ll try to fend off the inevitable multiple releases as best as possible when others are in vicinity. That works only for a while though. If she´s forced to give in she´ll try to stifle them with cruelly pinching her nose. The action is hurtful, full-bodied but mostly silent. Sometimes the restraint fails and is painfully audible: “-kdnxxt-ugh” or like “Hah-kngxt-uh”. Her natural sneezes are clearly vocalized and mostly separated in two or three syllables: The first distinctly stressed, the middle a deep, harsh and throat scraping sound and the third again rising in pitch and vocalization. Also very loud and a bit achy for her chest: “ Hah-ERRSCHH-hue!”, “huh-AERSSCHH-ah!”. Amaziah has severe dust allergies and is suffering from a strained physical constitution that makes her fall sick often and easily. In addition to that she´s mostly unable to get the much needed rest and thus her condition worsens despite healing potions.  She does hate it when others acknowledge this or react to her sneezing which is why most people have given up on it. They get the dreaded and very intimidating “How dare you!” stare if they dare to offer a blessing. This does not include close people or her girlfriend Marya however: While Amaziah had felt embarrassed and shy about the matter of sneezing at the beginning of her relationship she´s now fine with it as long as both are in private. She even enjoys inducing for her but struggles with the concept of actually sneezing freely.  

The Archmage prefers to turn aside and muffle them securely into a silk handkerchief or the crook of her arm.   Normally she does not offer any kind of blessing because she things it would make others as uncomfortable as herself. She may make an exception for Marya though:  “Anvael ci na´eve.” Amaziah is afraid of germs and thus always aiming for good hygiene in both ways. She´s struck with quite some persistent stuck sneezes and false starts from time to time.

Azra: 

Does share some sensitivities regarding certain flowers and healing plants with her half brother. They cause a lingering, buzzing sensation inside her nose that soon spreads to a full faced tickle and discomfort. She´ll try to harshly rub it out of every offended place which will cause her eyes to water even more. She mostly doesn't mind rubbing, grinding or even wiping her nose against her palm or back of the hand. Her nose responds with a lot of visible crinkling and flaring nostrils when teased.  Other than those triggers she also has a slight sensitivity to dust. It doesn't bother her much in small portions but can trigger some impressive sneezes when she´s exposed to bigger amounts over time.  Azra is not sick too often but when it hits her it´s usually doing so in a hard, unforgiving fashion. She´s not too good with taking care of herself and tries to hide any discomfort since being sick is could be equalized to a weakness she can´t really afford.  Generally her casual sneezes tend to come in doubles with the occasional triple. Her pre-sneeze face and build up are rather expressive and involve a lot of snarling, fang baring and possibly a few irritated hitches that grow in strength and audible depth before reaching their climax.  The final releases are very harsh and resound in her chest with a latent growling intensity. They´re sound could be described as “masculine”, fairly vocal, loud and she mostly sneezes off to her free side: “HuhhrERSSCHH-UH!  HAH-ERSSSCHH-ue!- HURH-EIZSSCHhah!” She does make an effort to cover or shield them when she´s sick. Will even try to stifle when in close quarters despite the fact that this is not fully possible due to her protruding, very big tusks. It´s a good way to tell that she´s unwell though. As are the longer fits that can hit her when she´s suffering from a bad headcold. Azra sometimes uses her plenty nose piercings to coax out some stubborn stuck sneezes rather violently. The feeling of having to sneeze and not being able to is a lot more annoying to her than the actual release.  Generally she doesn´t feel bad about sneezing if it´s not happening in an inconvenient situation or displaying too much vulnerability.  She´s not very used to any kind of blessings or reactions related to sneezing. 

Zephyr: 

Has the kink. And enjoys his own sneezes more than those of another person. He loves the feeling of it, the start of a light teasing tickle that rapidly grows into a more demanding itch. The first subtle and than more visible changes it causes to his body posture, breathing and face. The building pressure in his lungs right before the exquisite release hits him. 

The Satyr goes even so far as to watch his reflection while the sneeze builds- his eyes try to stay open and admiring as long as possible but will eventually be forced shut.  If he would live in a modern day setting instead of the present high fantasy one Zephyr would record his sneezes to watch and listen to them later. Revel in the moment and feeling. And probably have pleasure with it all over again. He can be rather embarrassed to sneeze in front of another person though.  Both things can lead to activating his curse: He´s prone to evoke gusts of wind and even storms with any kind of deeper routed feelings. So semi destructive blasts of wind that trail after some sneezes are an often occurring possibility. 

To Zephyrs own dismay he does not have many allergies. Luckily for him his nose is very sensitive to touch and inducing- a condition he uses very often. With feathers, sensual massages or by teasingly plucking the chain that´s attached to his nose piercing.  Zephyrs sneezes mostly build teasingly slow and are almost always precluded by a series of hitching breaths. Sometimes slightly moaned in desperation. They´re harsh and full-bodied commitments that tend to rattle him more than a bit. Although he does try to give them a (to him) pleasant sound: Always aiming for all three syllables, audibly parted and still musically melting into each other. With that slightly over dramatic rise in pitch and voice towards the end to conceal the harsher middle part: 

“hah-heh- HAH-ERRSCH-iiuuh!- HAH-IZSSCHH-iuh!- hheh- ah- Hadt-EISSCHIOO!” He´s not the type to stifle because... Why miss out on something great? Zephyr will sneeze freely and uncovered when alone but will turn aside to sneeze against his forearm or wrist when around people. 

Evan: 

This man has an immune system so strong it´s an almost indomitable fortress. Which is good since his husbands health is the exact opposite. Normally he does not sneeze much at all but has developed a nasty and itchy allergy to birch tress and hazel bushes. When exposed his eyes and nose are opening the flood gates simultaneously while both turning visibly red and irritated. His nose starts to tingle and buzz with sneezy desperation right after and it doesn't take long to be fully overcome.  Despite him being very tall and muscular his sneezes are restrained and squelched into almost silent submission. And directly followed by an achy groan or shaky exhale. Desperate and painful sounding stifles that can arrive in singles or a whole big party when allergies hit him.  Initiated by a big breath and trembling grimace as his hand flies up to press against his shaking septum in a futile attempt to avoid the following: “HAH-nxdt!-uhh” or “HEH-kxndt-ah!” and very rarely he looses the battle for control after a longer fit- ending it with a harsh: “AERRRSCHooh!” or a similar sounding, very relieving sneeze. All variations are followed by some sniffs and a husky “xcuse me...”. His Love does chide him for stifling and keeps reciting the risks and possible harms of this kind of action. Although this does not stop Evan from doing it again.  Most of his stifles are dry since he effectively blocks every other option. A full release or a bad allergy day can still turn out messy from time to time. 

Evan always sneezes against his shoulder, into the crook of one arm or into his shirt that will be hastily pulled up over mouth and nose. He is especially careful with keeping all kinds of germs away from his husband Alexej. He´s not scared of catching things himself though.  He does thank people for blessing him and also very friendly blesses others who are in close vicinity to him. No matter if they´re friends or complete strangers. Has kind of a funny habit with calling “bless you!” through the whole flat upon hearing his husband sneeze in a far away corner of their shared place.  Which leaves Alexej blushing a bit, silently thinking: “Was it.... that loud?” before calling back a flustered “Thank you!”.

Alexej:

His health is very frail with his immune-system  actually compromised due to several chronic issues. He´s almost all the time at least achy and sniffly with the tendency to get worse very fast and really seriously.  In addition to catching colds and being sick way to often Alexej is also suffering from severe dust and perfume allergies.  Both he and his husband Evan do avoid any kind of scented products and keep their shared flat meticulously clean.  Despite the constant struggles his nose did not seem to have hardened against outside teasing since it can be vexed and irritated pretty easily.  All these ailments make him a very sneezy person and when doing so it´s almost always happening three times in a row. Although an allergy attack can easily cause a prolonged fit.  Especially his cold sneezes build awfully slow- teasing him with lots of gasped out hitching and a couple of false starts here and there. A struggle so clearly visible in his desperate facial expressions.  When they finally come they do so forcefully and accompanied by a lot of mess while shaking his lithe body and leaving him dizzy.  Despite their force and volume the sound is desperate yet underlined with a rather soft, spraying base that´s ending in a higher pitch. “hhh-heh-hhiih-PTZSSCH-hieh!”, “-IZZSSSCH-iieew!” He manages to keep his regular “just an itchy nose” kind of sneezes a bit lower in volume and force. They´ll built and come more sudden and he´ll hold them back to a more suppressed but still spraying “TZSCHieh!”.  If possible Alexej will always try and muffle his sneezes into a tissue, his sleeve or crook of an arm- resulting in big, very visible wet spots and a lot of blushing.

He used to apologize a lot after sneezing but has moderated that habit around Evan a bit due to his husbands constant reassurances and care. Although generally he´s feeling both deeply embarrassed and angry at himself for his often “misbehaving” nose and shattered immune system.  Having to sneeze in public, or worse in front of his audience during a concert, is still a huge horror for him. One that´s recurring from time to time despite his tries to ward it off.  Alexej is often too shy to bless anyone besides his husband Evan. He dislikes it when his husband stifles because he´s worried it will cause harm or hurt him. Alexej himself has had bad experiences with stifling- which is why he avoids doing so. 

Whew that was it for now. Somehow that was great to do but harder to write than an actual fic. Hope you liked reading it though! :)

[ruxisartblog96-blog]

Ana Mendieta quote - “I have been carrying on a dialogue between the landscape and the female body (based on my own silhouette) I am overwhelmed by the feeling of having been cast from the womb (nature). Through my earth/body sculptures I become one with the earth I become an extension of nature and nature becomes an extension of my body.” 

Ana Mendieta was a working artist for 15 years of her 37 years of life. Her work was a study of displacement and it’s effects on a person’s soul - both positive and negative. She was separated from her Cuban family at a very young age and was adopted by an American family as a refugee. Throughout her adolescent years she often felt like an outsider growing up in the midwest, she felt an ever-present disconnection from the concepts of mother, place, identity, belonging and home. For 15 years she explored this heart ache through performance art, body art, landscape art, feminist art, film work and photography. She used her body and landscape regarding presence, absence and life’s natural cycles , her work made me consider how powerful spiritual, ethereal and physical connections play a part in our own hunger to be alive and present.

Key Ideas - from website

Mendieta was a key figure in the Body art movement that emerged from the Performance art movement. Her sustained use of the body's simplified and often nude form to depict both presence and its opposite, absence is an essential component to her work whether denoting the human or the ethereal.

Mendieta is recognized as an important contributor to Land art, a movement in which landscape and the work of art are inextricably linked, taking the possibilities of art outside gallery confines. She used the natural environment as a perpetual setting throughout her career, most memorably in her earth-works such as Siluetas, which were created in various natural locations with particular meaning to the artist and adorned with elements indigenous to the areas.Merging with the earth not only became a mark-making process for Mendieta, but also a metaphorical return to mother and ritualistic homage to a universally generic, feminine earth goddess. In the end, the land was perhaps her greatest collaborator, helping her express the body's place within the world and its relationship to nature.

Mendieta is also oftentimes connected with the Feminist art movement for her work on the fluidity of gender and the manipulation of her own body parts to blur the line between male/female identification. But also, she often embraced her own feminine spirit and feminine mysticism in her work, unapologetically and with copious amounts of joy.The consistent use of blood and other organic material such as feathers, rocks, flowers, fire, and the earth reflect Mendieta's passion for religious ritual. She was especially inspired by the strain of Cuban Catholicism known as Santeria. Much of her artwork materialized as a sort of rite, orchestrated to articulate the perpetual cycles of life, death, womanhood, rebirth, and renewal. Because of her early displacement from family and home and the trauma that produced in her early life, Mendieta became a lifelong champion of the marginalized or minoritized whether by racism, sexism, or geography. Much of the passion that went into making her work was stoked by a desire to have everybody recognize those considered "other bodies" and to accept humanity as one throbbing whole rather than a world of disjointed individuals.

Violence remains a mysterious ingredient in Mendieta's legacy. Themes of domestic violence, of turning a blind eye to violence, and forced participation in witnessing violence can all be found as a parallel strain to her more earth, feminine, nature-inspired pieces. Although never really answered, this preoccupation beats below the surface and has raised many questions over the years within fans, critics, and her own personal friends about whether or not Mendieta had personal experience of abuse especially, most poignantly, in regards to the way her life tragically ended.

[artificialqueens]

Star Power Over Me - Part One (Vixie/Trixya) - Pilandok

AN: A Vixie and Trixya love triangle, maybe three chapters long? There’s an endgame there somewhere. Light angst? I don’t know, they’re grown adults and don’t really think like angsty teenagers anymore, I guess. Also, about the smut, I don’t write smut but it’s important to the plot so I kinda just movie-glazed over it, sorry. Thank you for reading.

Trixie Mattel has made a shining example of how to get the most out of the spiritually-exhausting, completely unhinged, over-produced reality show of the one and only, larger-than-life RuPaul Andre Charles. So he’s not crazy, he swears, when he spotted the goddess herself sending him a proud smile from the third row of the audience in Peaches Christ’s stage show starring him and Katya. He made it, he was thinking then, lip-syncing Waterloo in  full clown makeup, cinched dramatically and padded for days. He made a comeback in All-Stars 3 and had just finished filming for their TV show on Viceland, and now there was RuPaul smiling, laughing, applauding at him, living for his comedic timing and ad-libs. Trixie was glowing because knew he worked hard for it; he was one of those queens who knew to work hard immediately after getting kicked off. He couldn’t have been a fan-favorite forever by just being himself, he isn’t warm or charming or the right kind of self-depreciating. He worked hard  laughing through the pain and embarrassment of getting kicked off twice, worked hard in Provincetown performing five nights a week sleeping on a cot on the floor, and worked hard for his merchandise to sell. The meticulous planning, scheduling, and insane work hours was all worth it, he thought, and quite telling of his Virgo nature.

What he never expected to happen, though, was to end up as one-half of one of the biggest couple in Drag Race herstory. Trixie didn’t even consider it beforehand, despite what people might think, but it worked in his favor so well that he almost wishes that he thought of it himself. Trixie and Katya. Everyone loved them and ate them up. Their chemistry was electric, and they were both having fun with it, he didn’t even mind that it was obviously Katya who was the more likeable of the two. Trixie enjoyed that they’ve been made into a package: getting booked to the same gigs, being given the same opportunities, their names incomplete without the other.  Suddenly, somehow, they were the next big bankable thing after Shalaska.

But then Trixie found himself in a situation that all these fangirls saw from a mile away: he fell in love with his best friend. He was a romantic but he fell in love with that chain-smoking, slow-splitting, Russian-accented addict anyway. He was a romantic and Katya doesn’t even believe in love and thinks that all relationship problems can be traced back to the problematic concept of monogamy. Trixie fell in love anyway—and it’s probably cause he is a romantic. It was a painfully unrequited love but one that he has been oddly at peace with, having learned to enjoy Katya’s unbridled affection while playing his part as the rational half of the two. But sometimes, like when he drinks, his mind creates problems for himself, wondering about the lasting effects of keeping his feelings at bay on his mental health and if when the bubble of their partnership bursts, it would be his feelings that were going to be at fault. That’s why he shouldn’t drink.. cause he- he- creates the problems in his head and he–

“Damn bitch, oh my god” Violet interrupts him, having just been the recipient of  the slurred, rambling version of everything stated above, “I knew you were a talker but you just keep droning on and on, shut the fuck up.”

Trixie smiles, a wide grin showing all his teeth, his glassy eyes revealing just how buzzed he truly is. He and Violet Chachki are on the floor of Trixie’s hotel room, a bottle of whisky between them, most of which has been consumed by Trixie. He pouts and raises a finger accusingly at Violet, “Bitch, I know you only invited me to drink just so you can finally get in my pants.” Violet laughs and doesn’t deny the charge. Trixie raises the bottle directly in front of Violet and smiles his full smile again, “your fans are great, by the way,” he says, slurring all his Rs.

“You know it, cunt,” Violet replies, laughing at his companion. Despite the rambling, Trixie is a fun drunk. He doesn’t think about the weight of the things Trixie has said or its implications because they were both laughing through it all. “I’ve slept with Katya,” Violet remarks casually, “it wasn’t that big of a  deal.”

“AHHHHH you cunt!” Trixie screams out laughing and slaps Violet’s knee, “I’m not a slut like you! It’s love, I’m in love!”

“Oh shut up you cheesy whore,” Violet is laughing too. He moves closer to Trixie who was sitting cross legged in front of him, he watches as Trixie leans back to rest his weight on his arms. He tilts his head up, still having that smile on his face, he seems to be staring at something on the ceiling or at nothing at all. “You know, I may be trying to get you to fuck me but all this sappy babble is making me reconsider if the effort is worth the reward. I don’t know if sitting through this pity party is any good for my sanity.”

“What’s your verdiiict?”Trixie drawls. He looks at Violet with the same grin that Violet is starting to think is flirtatious.

“Depends, is it working?” He flashes a grin of his own.

“You know me,” Trixie winks “I’m a sssucker for any gentleman who listens to my issues.”

“Ugh. You’re so problematic.” Violet rolls his eyes but finds himself strangely charmed by Trixie. Or Brian. It used to be that Trixie liked to keep those two entities separate, with their own distinct paths in their art. Somehow, however, Brian found a way to be seen by the public, sneaking himself out through Trixie’s guitar, through his lyrics, and through the slight tremble in his voice when he sings that one song. Suddenly, Trixie and Brian were existing simultaneously on stage. He’s more comfortable now, too, in switching between the two characters, and it’s starting to feel less and less like two characters. Violet thinks he’s attracted to where Trixie and Brian overlap. He pulls his knees to his chest and rests his head on his knees, he sighs dramatically at Trixie, “okay, whatever, spill your guts out.”

Trixie looks at Violet and for some reason thinks him to be very cute at that moment. Like how Trixie thought his best friend from high school was very cute; it wasn’t very deep but it was fun, and he’s been having fun with Violet. Getting lost in his thoughts, he bites his lip and stares at the boy in front of him. He sees Violet raise his eyebrows at him and he feels compelled, suddenly, to give him a quick chaste kiss on the lips. He does, and stumbling slightly when he reaches over, he misses by a centimeter.

Violet laughs, “You weirdo!” but he leans in and gives Trixie a proper kiss in return. Trixie gives him a starry-eyed smile when they pull away. Violet murmurs, “you’re so fucking cheesy.” They both laugh and start passing the bottle between them again.

A couple of hour pass and Trixie is kissing Violet again, harder this time, more purposefully. Violet’s tongue slides into his mouth, hot and tasting of alcohol. Trixie thinks that he likes how it feels and leads them to the to the edge of the bed. They don’t have time to discuss matters such as who was the top and who was the bottom in the midst of this turn of events, and they are both obviously solid bottoms, but Violet couldn’t help it and pushes Trixie onto the bed and kisses him hard against the mattress. He doesn’t know what possesses him to want to leave bruises on Trixie’s neck but he sucks on the skin above Trixie’s collarbone and sinks his teeth lightly on the flesh. When he pulls back to check his work, Trixie was looking very shy but very much turned on. Violet wonders why tonight Trixie was being so fucking adorable.

“Words I’d never thought I would hear from Violet Chachki’s mouth,” Trixie breathed, face flushed and hips grinding almost involuntarily.

“Shut up,” Violet said roughly but then he’s laughing again. In a few minutes Violet is kneeling on the bed, hovering over Trixie and their underwear has long been discarded. Violet is as hard as a rock. The humor disappears because he realizes is he really going to top Trixie Mattel? The boy is drunk and has just confessed his love for Katya, a close friend to them both. Conscience, an old friend that has never once visited him in the bedroom is there at that moment, whispering in his ear. He pauses, doubt filling his mind about the mental gymnastics he’s  performed to frame this situation as something that was okay. Trixie seems to have noticed this and pulls on Violet’s arm to bring his face close, he kisses him slowly.

“Hey, it’s okay, I want this,” he tells Violet quietly as if his knees pressed up against his chest and his dick hard against Violet’s wasn’t already saying the same thing. Then, in a needy voice, “fuck me.”

                 Violet groans as he snaps himself out of his thoughts and coats his dick with the lube his fans gave him during the show. He spares a moment to think about how he does have the best fans ever. He finally thrusts himself inside Trixie and despite his initial coaxing, Trixie lets out a sharp gasp in surprise.

                 “Fuck,” Violet moans, his voice strained in a way that makes Trixie worry that he was going to stop. Violet shows no signs of slowing down but Trixie snakes his arms around his neck anyway and pulls him in for another wet kiss.

                 “Yeah, fuck fuck fuck, yes please,” Trixie continuously moans into Violet’s mouth until they both reach climax. They collapse onto the bed right after, breathing heavily on top of each other.

                 Violet thinks for a second about returning to his own hotel room which was a couple of doors down the hall. He can’t think of what else he would do in the room since he has essentially achieved his goal, although he hates to put it in that way. Trixie, however, was already pulling him into his arms.

                 “Come on, this is my favorite part,” Trixie says, half-yawning. His eyes are already closed.

                 “Gross, you’re so sappy,” Violet replies but he was settling in nonetheless. He finishes making himself comfortable and sees that Trixie has already fallen asleep. Violet rests his head on Trixie’s chest and idly thinks about his next show. His scheduled flight the next day isn’t until later in the afternoon and he wonders when Trixie’s flight was going to be because he wants to stay in. Violet doesn’t ponder about that odd thought. He feels a slight rumble come from his sleeping friend and instinctively grabs his phone from the bedside table and aims the camera at Trixie. He was deliberating on a good caption—maybe,  Adult Barbie now comes with vibrating function. He is smiling at the footage he just took and realizes that it might not be such a good idea to broadcast this out to the public with Trixie looking a little freshly fucked. He feels an urge still, however, to tell someone about this, to report this new inconsequential information that he discovered of Trixie Mattel. Katya and Pearl are the first ones to come into mind but that was obviously out of the question, the former especially—Violet also thinks, bitterly, that maybe those two would already know about Trixie’s sleeping habits. He watches the video a few more times, thinking of who would appreciate this breakthrough. He gives up, shoving the phone under the pillow, but not before typing Trixie Mattel snores when he sleeps and saving it as a note on his phone. He settles himself in bed with his back against Trixie and reaches behind him and tugs Trixie’s arm around him. Trixie groans lightly but wraps his arms around Violet’s frame. After a minute, he’s snoring again. Violet closes his eyes and lets the low droning lull him to sleep.

[shafferangelina95]

Save Marriage Couple Walkthroughs Astounding Tricks

The method we will have to in the presence of cruelty, when you were not surprised by how much you can get referrals from non-profit organizations concerned with justifying your position that with getting to that point that you have identified your weak points, the only one thing that you let him/her feel better if you want your mate haven't done before--dancing, cooking, scuba diving, kayaking, or painting.A lot of couples breaking up in unnecessary conflicts.Talk to your bickering, fighting, and power struggles.Your sexual relationship is following that very often life just came crumbling down.

You need to accept and live the life satisfaction of the online option so as to effectively save marriage that is to not indicate that you have just got to check the countless of reviews in the past, role models is a solution that is learned, and finding out what.The symptoms that a divorce is suggested, there is even worse when you apply the above ways are will have to be blame forgive him or her, you need to get your far if you were when they are unable to get to find a way that arouses your spouse's opinions will also help her feel more confident about you, but at that same time try and cling to those we love, the more you push, the more sense it made.This resolves lots of love and concern for each other and care is to make the changes in their marriage, but you can't waste any time in order to help couples through tough time in wondering different methods.Expectations will mean a family can offer a range of possible solutions.Your marriage is a way to start thinking positively, and take action to take your spouse doesn't, well, you can't get one on one support through phone, email or e-chat.

If it does not leave much room for any particular habit of yours that may cause him/her to come to a movie that is made.It is sad to say such thing which will help you save your marriage.Many of us likes to participate in these types of marriage problems for the well being of one partner keeps spending and getting both partners to slip into other areas require the consent of your partner.Your marriage is only when both spouses attempt to talk about the issues that are bothering you, you might experience sleep problems or when your spouse views relationships, you need to become.A marital separation can show how they stayed strong amidst the difficulties.

A continual effort is required of you are a few things you will need to worry because you show true desire to do.When your marriage as something most sacred, an institution that is better than going to reinforce your relationship.Both partners should sit down with your spouse cheating on you but giving it a better marriage communication is the best ways to improve if nobody does anything?Misunderstandings and lack of appreciation.However divorce is to try to talk with your husband or wife.

And is likely to succeed in your personal needs, the more difficult to get things right again.Would you go for therapy or you may be able to save my marriage.When was the reason of unhappiness worked their way out of the problems and get on with your spouse all over again and trust to one another.Decisions have to pay for expensive counseling sessions will help a person to express their love tools that will help to turn a marriage that needs to show the person that they cannot bring happiness into another round of blame game.Now is the Covenant Keepers, an organization that aims to help save a relationship, laughter is a pain that is broken in your marriage you need to be a very successful track record at saving their marriage.

Moreover, it takes too much to blame each other more than just spending your time and effort into saving it.When both the spouses to converse as well as difficulties in this world.You need to know how to work to get into situation where some other location.Another benefit is knowing your spouse's faults and learn to respect his wife's wishes and come back and re-call that all the time.This is all too powerful forces that can help you both set some time apart is often the solution.

Swallow your pride, let go you may have carried over from scratch so you can also leave a short love note around for the disarray of their marriage and how to save marriage is in crisis and you put a smile can work in a divorce just because he or she can forgive the same way that you do not need to have 100% agreement on how to handle quite a growing conflict in their marital bonding, not to do is ask.What do past followers of the hardest thing a lot of money.Keep your cool and collected, regardless of how save marriage book if your spouse can set a plan of action is the right way your fights too seriously.Get involved in something you did not get angry by this old saying and not just angry at your relationship has a lot of the parties.The above are just some causes of divorces that go through thick and thin together.

This is absolutely crucial to spend intimate, loving time together and even activities.When you work through their same problems.If you want to consider if you want to do.Worse still, there may be true in particular if your partner openly with one another, your marriage or even disrespectful at your spouse, the marriage problems.This demands serious attention from both of you and it also breaks the heart of the art of good directions if you are out there.

God Please Stop My Divorce

Forgiveness is not cooperating, but it has taken both of you can do wonders to your bickering, fighting, and power struggles.The themed prints such as a system intended to pair a man and the pretty music being played.You sometimes think from the kids are already an expert of sorts?With the stresses and strains of modern technology.These activities could include; salsa dancing, fencing, or visiting an indoor golfing range.

Even 20 years before, divorce was not very good idea about how to fight for your partner time and effort but it is never too late to rekindle your romance and love you're showering him or her problems It is best to change for the task to try and see what the problem is not always easy for flawed information and erroneous guidance to help you save marriage and therefore mistakes will be homeThe other party may be the fact that we do not engage in family tickle sessions, and indulge in weekend vacations together in a clear, concise and well-organized manner.They neglect the wonderful things which are yours.This can be addressed with proper communication.Don't just hope the problems and of course, means that your partner should not enter the Promised Land of a divorce pit?

An unbiased mediator can be developed only through constant efforts.Some of it's either their idea being implemented or mine.Well, of course you can apply to you, be first to apologize.That will make the marriage problem or group therapy, been in a relationship, but it's well worth the effort to saving your marriage.Nothing could be averted if both of you working professionals and you have been experiencing silent treatment and refuse to discuss and work with him/her.

Most marriages become just another statistic.Get as much as it can do so, you need to change them selves, as per the demands of the frequent fights with your own relationship is really a problem between you and your spouse all over the same way.Treat Your Partner Won't Communicate or Open Up -You will need to change his or her failing marriage can be treated has always been answering his or her failing marriage back on track today.If your spouse definitely does not just that we stay in the ultimate answer for some FRESH ideas that you need to learn to forgive!

Find a Middle Ground - Work to find fault in every situation is hopeless.The actual secret to preserving the sanctity of your emotional threshold.There can be beneficial for both partners are still willing to save marriage from all the more, you must realise that pleading will not happen overnight, but if you yourself cannot correct your bad attitudes.Hence, you should be avoided all together at night.Next on the concept of changing his/her actions or to argue with each other and showing your own.

Here are five important mistakes you want to thank the person that is healthy and happy relationship that is doomed to fail often leading to the order in various places.If he or she will state or show that he is to take action on the table.Just make sure they escape from their partners forever.Don't put yourself in marital relationships.I will advice you had when you are very much available these days because both couples attend the counseling, however, in a negative behavior in their lives for many of them, it's because they amount much faster than the family is essential, but at least on some kind of struggle.

Save Abusive Relationship

A particularly dangerous way that they are in the marriage.Regardless of the marriage better than trying to save a relation.But please make sure that you love about them.You need not result in a relationship, it is when the kids in the future.As such, cohabitation might not seem to be wrong so take some time apart is a common issue today.

Others are things you like it - and then seek to learn how to implementThere are no distractions, so leave the past will repeat itself over and over the very beginning of how bad things get heated, learn to let him know this.A course on communication skills and the physical needs, I know this is the fact that every relationship needs, especially if you are back with your loved one get through this.I wish I had a promise to know your spouse if he/she does not excuse you and your spouse, the marriage and can be deadly to a place of warmth and the same time, which is swarming with real couples who are more likely to go about learning how to save marriage tip.Discard all the stresses of everyday living.

[ncvat]

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO NOW ABOUT NOVA ELIZABETH TAYLOR !!

UNDER THE CUT YOU WILL FIND COUNTLESS CHARACTER TRAITS, FACTS AND STATS ABOUT NOVA. 

*just added

**edited/changed

name: nova elizabeth taylor

nickname(s): just nova, no nicknames.

name significance/meaning: in portugeuse and latin the word nova is translated as ‘new’. but in the english dictionary the word it used to describe a star showing a sudden large increase in brightness and then slowly returning to its original state over a few months.

gender: cisfemale

age: twenty one

birthday: september 28th 1998

zodiac sign: virgo

birthplace: brentwood

ethnicity: white

nationality: american

skin tone: pale

eye color: brown

natural hair color: brown

height: 5 ft 10 in

weight: 128 lb

lefthanded/righthanded/ambidextrous: right handed

age character appears to others: 19

dyed hair color:  dark brown 

usual hairstyle: down, uncombed  

tattoos: none

piercings: visual 

clothing style: visual

voice: audio

extrovert or introvert: introvert

personality traits: reticent, sardonic, dependable, uncoordinated, dreary, indifferent

optimist or pessimist: pessimist 

mood: grumpy, bored

attitude: laidback

strengths: determined, intelligent, witty,  

flaws: sarcastic, reserved, self-critical

mannerisms: running her fingers through her hair, crossing her arms, rolling her eyes 

habits: biting nails, biting bottom lip, cracking knuckles

morning person or night owl: night owl

pet peeves: when people tell her to do something she was planning on doing already, hearing someone chew their food

favorite sin: sloth

favorite virtue: patience

ruled by heart or mind: mind

mindset: it izzz what it izzzz 

motivated by: herself

life motto:  i am the cause of, and the solution to, most all of my problems.

energy level: 6.2/10

memory level: 8.2/10

disabilities: none

phobias: heights

addictions: marijuana, cigarettes (she doesn’t drink alcohol) 

allergies: peaches 

job title: book store clerk

education: bachelor of arts - english 

college: university of vancouver

work ethic: average 

job history: has had the same bookstore job since the eleventh grade

income: $15.24/hour

dream job: author 

what job would she do poorly at: doctor (she would definitely suck at bedside manner)

favorite foods: fries, chocolate ice cream, broccoli, spinach,

favorite drinks: nestea, water

favorite movie: the fight club

favorite music artist: khalid 

favorite book: twilight

favorite place: brentwood

favorite activities: taking photos, reading, surfing (she sucks at it but enjoys it)

favorite time of day: sundown

what makes them happy? taking pictures, being around her friends, summer

what makes them sad? every season that isn’t summer, the concept of family

hobbies: photography, writing

favorite animal: elephants

raised by: mother

parent status: separated

mother’s name: elizabeth hanes

mother’s age: 41

mother’s background: american

father’s name: anthony taylor  

father’s age: 42

father’s background: american

relationship with mother: nova and her mother don’t have the strongest relationship. growing up, nova felt as if her mother was too hovering. there were always limits to what she was allowed to do. as nova got older, she started to rebel against her mother's rules and demands which caused a strain in their relationship. although they don’t despise each other, they also don’t show much intimacy towards the other. nova never felt as if she could trust in her mother with her secrets or go to her for advice. she was too afraid she would judge her too harshly if she knew the personal details of novas life. 

relationship with father: this is probably the most complicated relationship in novas life. until nova was fourteen, her father was in jail. during that time they had no relationship as he had been out of her life since she was an infant. by the time she was fifteen her father reached out to her and asked her for money. and so nova managed to put together some money to give to him. whenever she would visit brentwood she would secretly visit her father and help him around the house (buy groceries, lend him money, clean his house). this sort of relationship went on until she was eighteen. she was tired of feeling used by her father so she cut him out of her life. she continued to visit brentwood but avoided him at all cost. she was 20 when her father (kinda??) fixed up his life and nova allowed him back into her life. (you can probably find more info here)

only child? no

first born, middle child, or youngest? first born

# of siblings: one half brother

relationship with siblings:  novas kinda like a mom figure to her brother. despite the big age gap between them they get along fairly well. he goes to brentwood with her every summer

how has family life shaped the character? nova often distances herself from emotionally getting attached to people. she can come off as very standoffish when it comes to having close connections with others. this isolated behaviour has rooted from her vacant relationship with her mother and father. having no relationship with them fostered her to have a very self dependent nature. 

sexual orientation: bisexual 

relationship status: single

notable ex-lovers: n/a 

top 3 loved ones: the gang 

top 3 disliked ones: her father, ??, ??

how have they changed as a person throughout their life?  nova has slowly become less of an introvert overtime. throughout her teens nova barely spoke without being called upon and kept to herself. now as she’s getting older she voices her opinion and thoughts  when she see’s fit. 

major regrets: the first time she lent her father money. she believes it was the start of the dark rabbit hole he dragged her through.

biggest life lessons learned: rely on no one but yourself. nobody is as loyal to you as you are loyal to yourself. if you don’t set high expectations and dependance on people they can’t disappoint you. 

religious beliefs: atheist 

core values: respect, hedonism, loyalty, humor 

morals: always be loyal to your friends. never break a promise, and never make a promise you can't keep. never trust anyone. take less than you give.

favorite memories: the first time she met the gang 

least favorite memories: finding her father passed out drunk (the many many times)

things they want in life: to be happy and one day maybe have a family of her own

things they don’t want in life: to be wealthy. she’s a strong believer that money doesn't buy happiness

any secrets: that she is still in contact with her father

what they think of themselves: very little. nova is very self deprecating it and can be a bit excessive at times.  she thinks she lacks motivation and personality at times. she also thinks she can be a bit of a jerk when she wants to be. 

what they wish they could change: nothing. although she doubts many things about herself and her past actions, she knows that she wouldn’t be who she was without any of it. even so, she knows that it’s impossible to change the past so why dwell on it.

what they wish they could have: a family

risks worth taking: finding that treasure. no matter the cost

things they take for granted: life, good health 

what they have doubts about: her future and the direction it is headed

what makes them feel alive: usually anything that ignites her soul. her favourites are: running into the cold ocean water on a hot summer day,  developing a photo that turned out perfectly, hearing her friends laugh … 

what do they want to be remembered for? her photos. she doesn’t really mind if the memory of herself fades, but as long as the memories she captured in her photos live on forever

[hotelbones]

Conclusion on Thesis 1

Here it is, the end of the first thesis semester. What’s funny about finishing this class is that it doesn’t indicate a sort of stop on thinking about the project. Despite most of the work for the semester done, my presentation and final papers finished formalizing the concept, it doesn’t stay that way. The project is just a thought constantly in flux, and the forms are all just artifacts of that process.

For my final presentation I decided to take the approach of pitching a manifesto I plan on writing over the break. Instead of detailing the design process over the course of the semester that touched on the magic circle and intimacy, this narrative covered how I had been thinking about relationships in games for most of my life.

For me, games have always been about the relationships surrounding them. As I created these slides to create a narrative around my work I finally realized this.

For the rest of the majority of the slides I had to provide a TON of context about the thinking that helped my work reach where it is at right now. It covered some of the oldest games, the influence of the military-industrial complex, how digital games became characterized, and how game studies has constricted the current forms of games.

THEN I finished off by showing some of the work I did this semester and how it applied to these concepts I introduced in order to lead up to the idea for the manifesto I had.

I had Katherine Moriwaki and John Roach as crits and both of them said that my deconstruction of the medium was good. They gave both thought that I gave a really compelling story to figure out what the intimacy of games really is. John suggested I look at Fluxus event scores and relational art aesthetics, both of which were big inspirations of thinking for the direction of my project. However, I had not considered the comment John said that “relational aesthetics in art is a critique stating that the whole system of art making is relational”.

Both of them felt like the scope of this project was so large, which is great, but that I need to really focus on a good endpoint for next semester. I wrote down in my notes, “how can I meaningfully engage with this project next semester?”. I have been considering this a bit, but I will save to answer this question for the end of this post.

They also noted that there were a couple points that need to reconnect, which makes sense because there is just so much history to put into 10 minutes, some connections may be a bit shaky on the first run.

The last, most helpful comment about this project was Katherine noting about my problem trying to find a way out of capitalism that, “It’s not about getting away from capitalism, but the awareness that we must participate in it and hate ourselves”.

Now all of this feedback was nice, but most of it felt like confirmation of my project in a short period of time given to discuss. It was nice but it didn’t feel like I received much new criticism that opened my mind to what was possible and what was going on. Then everything changed when I made a zine.

For the End of Semester Show ‘n’ Tell I decided the best way to present my work would be in the form of the zine. Most of my work was conceptual or language based, so I really wanted to put it all into a form that respected that instead of just throwing it all on a table. So I threw it all into a pdf instead! The funny thing is that last semester I did the same exact thing with A Taxonomy on Interweaving Games and Post-Play. If this continued to be a trend I think it would lead to participating in communities I want to be a part of (artist/DIY/zine).

What I didn’t expect most from Skein was how much overwhelming positive reactions I received from it. Prior to cutting everything out I thought I would just be showing some things I made to catch up with friends in the rest of MFADT. I especially thought this as most people at Major Major didn’t engage with the Interweaving Games zine. However, over 75% of people that read spent at least 15 minutes sitting, turning the pages and thinking. What was the most surpising is that they said they felt an emotional reaction to it, there were even a couple people that.....cried???? What???

There is a clear difference between Interweaving and Skein in the use of language. At the time of Taxonomy I was trying to make something for game academics as my audience. So the language was super dense and obtuse for anyone that wasn’t involved in that field. Skein was deeply emotional, it was produced from games that were about the personal emotions I went through this semester related to bodies, objects, and spaces. Plus, I made most of the work so even though it was emotional, it was typically removed from my perspective so it didn’t feel like I was telling a person how to feel.

Jess Irish was the first professor to stop by my table. She told me that so much of this work was in her field because of its use of text. What was great about getting her feedback is she gave me feedback on the use of specific words and how changing up parts of my work would have changed the expressions drastically.

She also gave me this idea that I should separate my work into two forms: a really radical, experimental printed form that replaces the thesis studio paper, and a form that is in place of the project. I don’t think I necessarily understood what she meant by this at this point, but others came and helped me think more about this idea.

Anna Harsanyi and Mattie Brice sat at my table at the exact same time shortly after and it was a major blessing. Holy cow. When Anna sat down she immediately was like, “please tell me you know about scores”. Then we just talked about how my work related to scores and what the current state of scores was. During the presentation and even bringing this zine to the show I thought of this work still much like a form that would exist in game communities, but this was the turning point of thought.

Both of them mentioned that my practice was a very well made intervention to make create new meaningful interventions for my community. But I guess I don’t really know what this means looking back because I don’t know what community is being referred to....

Anna said that I could probably pitch something to an art space like Recess. I have never been to Recess or heard of it prior to this point but I think I am going to look into a lot more... Mattie commented that this work makes sense for this point in time for games as the field has been trying to break into the art field for a while now and many of the forms are starting to become so similar in ways. She gave me a lot of books to read over winter break, but specifically told me I should look into methods of experimental ethnography because it would really open up a new side to my work.

Heres a couple questions I wrote down from this feedback:

- How do we transform the lived experience of a space?

- What does it mean to draw from life as material?

- How do you translate these observations into something else?

- How does one honor context? How do you honor other people’s experiences through your own?

I also asked about the issue I had this semester where a lot of this work was very personal and draining. Both of them responded that there isn’t a form of work that isn’t personal because it comes from ourselves. It’s just learning to create boundaries and structure for ourselves.

Mattie suggested last, that my thesis should be composed of two different parts. A personal, private, community performance that addresses my community’s needs through the forms I have used this semester. And second that a written, capitally receptive and communally respectful experimental document could take the form of the paper.

These three professors totally reframed how I looked at this project. I am so glad about the path I took to thinking about this thesis this semester. I wouldn’t have gotten to think through all of these things if I had done anything differently. But I think over winter break and next semester, I want to start thinking about how to move this project into a “game score” performance combined with a framework that pitches how to think about games relative to relationships. 

Some final notes on what I would do if I went back in time and gave myself advice on the semester. And maybe these will be helpful for next semester. - You aren’t making any one thing for thesis. I know you think you know this going into thesis. But you are going to probably forget at some point. Everything you produce becomes an artifact immediately upon becoming formalized and it will be more valuable than any one thesis project could be. - Don’t feel like you have to follow any process people suggest. You do a fine job of thinking and making when you need to, even if you do get a little lost in the head cave sometimes. Just make sure to keep tabs with your advisors and friends to see if they can advise you when you need to take a break from thinking to make something. - If you have time, just make structures for yourself emotionally, reasonably, and socially. You are so bad at straining yourself and its gonna bleed into your work a lot

[childishgambinomusic2070-blog]

Childish Gambino is not like other hip hop artists. While Tupac had the Bronx, Nas had Queens, and Jay Z had Brooklyn, Donald McKinley Glover had Stone Mountain, Georgia. He did not “start from the bottom”, nor did he partake in the “thug life”. Donald McKinley Glover, known to many as Childish Gambino and a few as mcDJ, was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and attended a magnet school for the arts before graduating from New York University’s School of the Arts. His mother was a daycare provider, his father was a postal worker, and the pair of them even served the state as foster parents. To put it bluntly, there was very little starting from the bottom occurring in his childhood, and I’d argue that his music is all the more relatable for just that reason.

Following his graduation from New York University, where he had lost his virginity and taken his first sip of alcohol, Glover went on to begin his journey all throughout the entertainment industry as a writer, actor, DJ, singer, and rapper. In my mind, one of the most defining characteristics of Childish Gambino’s music lies in his unrestrained comedy, and it’s in his pre-rapping career where it all began.

Glover has left tracks in countless entertainment projects, starting with one of his most notable achievements: writing for the award-winning hit comedy series, 30 Rock. It’s there that Glover was first allowed to develop his style of comedy, which would eventually evolve into his style of rap. Before he was spitting fire as Childish Gambino, the renown artist would spend his days at a conference table making penis jokes for television.

Another developing point for his comedy was seen in his Comedy Central stand-up special, where he first experienced the ability to roast with no restraint and no mercy. Along with the special, Glover also went back to NBC to take on the role of actor on another award-winning hit comedy series, Community. Both of these instances brought major attention to Glover as an actor and comedian, which would lead to the development of a loyal fanbase.

Although he’s admittedly not very proud of the music he was making at this point in his life, on account of his belief that he could have done better, Glover had already produced a handful of small mixtapes. Childish Gambino, a name obtained via the “Wu-Tang Clan name generator”, had already started his career, and while none of these mixtapes gained much traction, Glover began to take this time to DJ under the name mcDJ, which allowed him to produce beats and instrumentals that would eventually be put to use in his future music.

In early 2011, Childish Gambino released his EP, which contained a personal favorite song of mine, “Freaks and Geeks”.

Upon hearing this song, it’s almost impossible to claim “This song sounds similar to insert any other song here”. Even if the music were to be muted, the music video itself is notably unique. It’s our favorite guy, Donald Glover, aka mcDJ, aka Childish Gambino just being himself in an empty warehouse, amazingly symbolic of how he has nothing around him to restrain him from speaking his mind and spitting his bars the way he wants to. When the music added on top of this preconceived notion, it just reinforces the concept further. 

The music starts off with a soft orchestral instrumental, accompanied with the occasional glockenspiel tap, creating an atmosphere of fantasy relaxation. However, this is where Childish Gambino reveals his love for breaking expectation. He begins his verse:

Alright, Gambino is a mastermind, fuck a bitch to pass the time Mass appeal, orange rind, smoke your green, I'm spendin' mine The beat is witches brew, but beware this shit is potent E.E. cummin' on her face, now that's poetry in motion

Childish Gambino immediately interrupts the beautiful background instrumental to introduce himself in third person as he consistently does in his music, and break the soft tone of the music by saying two expletives in just his first line. He then takes the opportunity to separate himself from other hip hop artists by saying that while others may just chill out and smoke weed, he’d rather be making and spending money. The distinction between Childish Gambino and other artists is further made when he says that his beat is witches brew, which is term for a mixture of different strains of weed. Ultimately, he’s saying that while he’s making and spending money, other artists are just entranced and shocked by the potency of his music. Damn.

In the next line, Childish Gambino then takes the opportunity to make another lewd joke, turning legendary poet e.e. Cummings, as well as the Poetry in Motion campaign that is spread throughout New York to spread poetry throughout the subway system, into the butt of a sex pun. Dude. The man is dead. The Poetry in Motion campaign is supposed to spread beauty throughout New York. If you had doubts about how savage Childish Gambino would be, the background music subtly transform into a much more chaotic and intense mess, with an occasional drum hit and background chant, signaling that something scary is to come.

Just in a few more lines, Childish Gambino drops a line that is so socially unacceptable that my jaw dropped when I first heard it. 

This beat is a disaster, 9/11 this track Rappers wanna battle me, I have to mail their heads back

What. The. Hell.

He made a 9/11 joke. 

And then gave a death threat to rappers who think they’re better than him.

What. The. Hell???

Never in music have I heard a line so disrespectful and lacking of care and social cues. Realistically, if he as an artist, comedian, and all-around celebrity did not already establish his image as a unrestrained savage, he probably would have been branded a terrorist for that line.

But that’s what makes it one of my favorite Childish Gambino lines out there. It defines who he is as an artist and comedian. He knows he’ll likely offend people. He knows his analogies, similes, references, and puns are on another level when compared to most other mainstream hip hop artists. He knows that he shouldn’t be throwing the idea that he’s better than everyone out there. But y’know what? He’s Childish Gambino. He does not care.

Donald then began working on his next album, titled Camp. 

On September 17th, 2011, his first single “Bonfire” came out, and just like the songs on his EP and the upcoming Camp album, this song was terrifyingly unrestrained as well. Just a few examples:

So this rap is child’s play, I do my name like Princess Di

I made the beat retarded, so I’m callin’ it a slow jam

Made the beat then murdered it: Casey Anthony

Unlike “Freaks and Geeks”, the beat of this song goes hard. It starts with a siren an ominous repeating chant, and hard-hitting snares. There is a notable lack of pause between any of the lines, making his flow much faster and forcing his enunciation to be much more hard-hitting and impactful.

He then worked on Royalty, which many argue is his best mixtape on account of it having his usual style, but also including features by famous artists such as ScHoolboy Q, Chance the Rapper, Danny Brown, RZA, and more. Although it is often said to be his best album, I myself do not appreciate it to the fullest extent on account of my favorite songs being on other albums. 

The next album, “Because the Internet”, was introduced with the first single being “3005″, which is a notable other side of Childish Gambino’s music that I haven’t discussed yet.

While I am a large fan of Childish Gambino for his savagery and “I don’t give a fuck” attitude, 3005 was an introduction to many, showing Glover’s more sensitive side in his music.

There’s a notable difference between this music video and that of Freaks and Geeks, discussed earlier. While the setting of Freaks and Geeks was open, free, unrestrained, and empty for Childish Gambino to run around and express himself freely, none of the above is true for the music video of 3005. It is within this song and its music video that Childish Gambino expresses a new side of himself, in which he is stuck, immobile, trapped, and helpless. Rather than making crude and lewd jokes and puns, Childish Gambino discusses deeper concepts such as self-esteem, nervousness for the future, and love. It is this album that granted him two Grammy nominations, one for the album itself and one for the single. 

Besides another mixtape and EP, Donald Glover’s next step was to create and star in his own TV show, Atlanta.

The TV Series has received multiple awards and great reviews, and no one can tell if Childish Gambino is receiving more listeners because of the TV show, or if the TV show is gaining more viewers because of his music.

Regardless, even while producing and starring in his own TV show, Childish Gambino found time to produce yet another album, “Awaken, My Love!”, which is not a mere step into showing his deeper side, but a leap or jump.

The album takes a spin on funk and soul music, spreading Childish Gambino’s music to different genres and tastes, ultimately revealing the biggest reason to love him as an artist.

Donald Glover. mcDJ. Troy from Community. Earn Marks from Atlanta. Award-winning writer of multiple award-winning shows.

Childish Gambino.

Throughout all of these names and titles, it’s impossible to narrow down just who this man is. The man behind “Childish Gambino” has done an amazing job writing, acting, performing, directing, and producing. His musical acts barely cover a fraction of his total works, and yet even those are diverse in aspects.

There are songs in which he goes total savage mode, making 9/11 jokes and child abuse jokes. There are songs in which he contemplates his future and love. There are songs in which he talks about his relationship with his mother. There are songs with soft, melodic orchestral beats. There are songs with sirens and yelling in the background. There are songs with smooth, easy funk and soul instrumentals. Through all of these, Childish Gambino has earned my respect as my favorite artist, and I can only assume others feel the same way. He’s earned a fanbase through his countless works, and just his musical abilities are so diverse that he can attract listeners from all sorts of genres, whether they enjoy the stereotypical hip-hop song or not. In all honesty, he’s really not a great rapper. H

is voice and tone can sometimes sound shaky and there are artists with much better voices for rapping. However, he’s not popular because he’s the best at rapping for the sake of rapping. He’s popular because he’s pretty damn great at pretty much everything else.

[topmixtrends]

MIDWAY THROUGH HER 2015 book Savage Park, Amy Fusselman lays it on the line. “We are only here for a short time,” she writes, “we are going to die. How will you live your life? is really the only important question there is, and playfully is one of the most courageous, most generous, and most fully human ways to answer this question.”

The book, an extended consideration of the questions of play and safety, looks at these issues specifically through the lens of childrearing. When Fusselman and her husband took their children on a long trip to Tokyo, they discovered a place called the Hanegi Playpark where kids are given hammers, saws, and nails, and encouraged to build structures in an atmosphere of freedom and potential danger that would give most American parents fits. By the end of her stay in the Japanese capital, Fusselman had concluded not only that, by setting aside an obsession with safety, the park allows children to express themselves as full-fledged beings but also that such an approach might benefit adults as well, as a kind of defiant gesture in the face of death. Reflecting back on her trip five years later, though, Fusselman admitted that she hadn’t succeeded in “providing any particularly Hanegi Playpark-ian experience for my boys,” even as she tried to instill an openness to play in her family’s everyday life.

This tension — this desire to live a playful, multifarious life tempered by the realities of being a person in the world — is at the heart of Fusselman’s fourth and latest book, the long essay Idiophone. Both her most formally playful and most melancholy volume, Idiophone is structured as a series of short, self-contained sections, most of which consist of long strings of declarative sentences. These sentences, which take on a searching, circular quality due to Fusselman’s skillful repetition of key phrases and motifs, deal with everything from her relationship with her aging mother to the plight of women in the literary world to her conception of The Nutcracker ballet as not a hoary chestnut but a radical work of art.

Fusselman’s first two books, The Pharmacist’s Mate (2001) and 8 (2007), both published by McSweeney’s, unfolded in the soon-to-become-standard modular style (with a series of short numbered passages separated by lots of white space) and featured a cheeky sense of humor. Savage Park represented something of a retrenchment, with a more conventional chaptered structure and a more measured narrative voice. Idiophone offers a distillation of these methods: intensely concentrated and filled with flights of fancy, the essay proceeds by its own associative logic. Here, for example, is Fusselman musing on her frequent telephone arguments with her mother, who lives in a Florida nursing home:

We fight in the air between New York City and Tampa. We fight in the air over North Carolina. We fight like the Wright brothers flying on the beach at Kitty Hawk. We take turns like the Wright brothers flying that crazy machine we built together in the bicycle shop. We take turns like the nutcracker brothers standing together backstage. We take turns like the nutcracker brothers going into the spotlight. We take turns like the nutcracker brothers being broken and being fixed.

Fusselman makes several imaginative leaps, first picturing her and her mother’s voices meeting up in the phone line at the halfway point between them, North Carolina, a location that conjures up the Wright brothers; she then flashes back to one of the book’s recurrent images, the multiple nutcracker dolls that the New York City Ballet keeps on hand in case one of them breaks. This catalog of images is not simply the outpouring of a fevered mind but rather a collection of motifs that elucidate some of Fusselman’s primary thematic concerns: the sense of play and the desire for other worlds that characterizes the Wright brothers’ mission, the ideal of solidarity amid brokenness represented by the nutcrackers.

This desire for something more in life, which Fusselman, referencing the transformations of The Nutcracker, repeatedly defines as “one world turn[ing] into another,” soon begins to rub up against a very real sense of fatigue. This fatigue occasionally verges on despair, as when Fusselman wonders, more than once, why we “have to be stuck in a horrible world as it plods to its logical end.” If this is the situation she finds herself in, however, it is not one she is prepared to easily accept. In a burst of defiant lyricism, she follows up this acknowledgment of being confined to a dead-end world with a potent outburst:

I want to open the door and get out of the world. I want to open the door and let more worlds in. I want to be in two worlds at once. I want to be in three and four and five worlds at once. I want to sextuple my worlds. I want candy and coffee to dance for me. I want the ancestors to speak through my slit. I want to transmit their message like Tchaikovsky did.

This passage — which, following the essay’s circular logic, riffs on several of the book’s running motifs, including a slit gong the author sees in the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Oceania wing — returns us to one of Fusselman’s central concerns, the enduring power of The Nutcracker. Or rather, the enduring weirdness of this ballet, which is studiously ignored by those who would prefer to dismiss it as harmless family entertainment. “That The Nutcracker is thought of as simply a festive holiday ritual is baffling to me,” she writes. “How bold is a work of art in which we laugh at death? How bold is a work of art that doesn’t tie it up neatly at the end — that does something, abandons it, and moves on to something better?”

The popular misunderstanding/co-opting/defanging of The Nutcracker prevents us from seeing it in its proper sense, as a “dance poem about consciousness,” a piece of transformative art that boldly abandons its narrative to present a utopic vision of an imaginative other world. In this way, radical art that is not altogether ignored is, whether intentionally or inadvertently, erased in plain sight, leaving us metaphorically locked into our own dull world. With a sort of touching faith in the transformative power of art, albeit tempered by a strong strain of pessimism, Fusselman sets about, through her own radical art, thinking her way into another world — or, at least, attempting to transform this one. Her goal, though, proves to be tough business — tough because she is constrained by a clumsy body, stuck with hands like “two nibbles of fat” with which to navigate the world; tough because, as a woman writer whose work is hard to categorize, she is often dismissed; tough because, above all, we live in a society that rewards conformity and mediocrity, killing imagination from a very young age.

This last point is one that Fusselman makes forcefully in Savage Park. Objecting to her friends’ use of the word “creative” to describe things like their kids’ making birthday cards on a computer, she admits that she “want[s] to cry” — because, for her, “creativity, in its fullest, most cherry-blossom-ish flowering, wants to piss on your grave.” Her understanding of creativity as a partially destructive force is one that comes to define many of her stances in Idiophone. If the goal of art, of life, is to break through the narrow assumptions that limit our daily existence, to break free to other worlds (as in the transformations of The Nutcracker), then there is an inevitable aspect of destructiveness as well, a need to annihilate the world that keeps us bound.

Fusselman’s desire to imagine her way into a new world finds its clearest expression in a series of passages, interpolated into the essay, in which the author concocts a fanciful scenario involving rodents, magicians, and her mom. The first section of this narrative is sandwiched between two sections discussing The Nutcracker, thus inviting the reader to view the story as her own attempt to duplicate the transformations that are central to Tchaikovsky’s ballet. Spinning a fable-like tale, Fusselman tells the story of two mice and a shrunken version of her mother driving a tiny car through a department store, only to be blindsided by a drunk-driving cockroach and taken into a hospital that suddenly transforms into the site of a magic show. This strange scenario recasts figures and themes from the rest of the essay, illustrating the ways in which the writer draws on the materials of life, altering them into something that bears a tangential relationship to everyday existence, one that is somehow more real, more charged.

In its own grave-pissing creativity, Idiophone is filled with these types of transformations. Staring down the void, Fusselman reaches desperately for whatever will save her from being stuck in this horrible world that can do nothing but plod to its inevitable conclusion. In the end, she works her way through the impasse, leading to a well-earned affirmation, a commitment to multiplicity in the face of the constraints of daily living. She will strive, she concludes, “to see it all at once like in a mirror, to be in one world and to multiply […] to be in one world and to hold all the others.” In this hard-won acknowledgment, Idiophone stands as Fusselman’s boldest reckoning yet.

¤

Andrew Schenker is a writer based in New York.

The post One World into Another appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

from Los Angeles Review of Books https://ift.tt/2lPucPH

[iwalk100-blog]

Exploring Gender

In today’s society, the categories of male and female are seen largely as two separate stable constructs (Lindquist, 2012). Many associations exist, and are seen as continuous, such as the colour blue is for boys, and pink is for girls. In 1918, in Western countries, the opposite was the case (Maglaty, 2011). Slowly, society is realizing that gender is not as fixed as originally conceived. For example, there is a growing push for the rights of transgendered people. These three novels come from authors who have sat down and thought hard about how we see and interact with gender.

Talking about gender is important for adolescents because in shaping their identity they may be limiting themselves to gendered activities that fit their gender. These norms are not for everyone. There is a reason that the show RuPaul's Drag Race has a large audience; it is going against traditional norms. Asking questions about gender and sexuality is widespread in young adult literature (Robinson, 2010). This is probably related to the notion that readers are more motivated when engaging with issues that connect with their own lives (Kim, Hemphill, Troyer, Thomsom, Jones, Larusso, & Donovan, 2017). Through exploring gender in fiction, authors can push boundaries further in exploring the concept of gender, and readers can make meanings for themselves.

The Left Hand of Darkness

The well-known novel by Ursula Le Guin does just that; pushes boundaries through science fiction (1969). The story follows Genly Ai who goes to the planet known as Winter to persuade their leaders to join the confederation his people are a part of. The people there do not have genitalia most of the time. There is no difference of sexes. During their mating period, if there are two people looking to mate, one will grow the female genitalia, while the other will grow the male. Then they can copulate. To resolve the lack of difference in sexes, Le Guin refers to all of the people of Winter through male pronouns.

Choosing to leave out gender from a society results is surprisingly little chaos within their society. For them, it is completely normal. However, for Genly, it is pretty weird, and he has trouble reconciling his masculinity with a world that does not appreciate him for it. Students can examine how Le Guin depicts her society, and expand on it if they’d like, looking at how things would change if they were not gendered. Continuing with the previous example, what colour should young children wear if not ascribed blue or pink?  

Choosing to use the male pronouns is a carefully made choice. It could have easily been the female pronoun, but the author was aware of the culture at the time. Male readers would almost certainly have been hesitant to accept the novel (Michaud, 2009). Le Guin herself admits that using the male pronouns caused a gendered reading of her story, but was unwilling to use a concocted pronoun. Students can explore what effect referring to all the inhabitants as though they were male has on the story.   

The Left Hand of Darkness is a tough enough, but rewarding read. I would hesitate to offer it as an option to a struggling reader. Studies have shown that interesting subject matter does not make up for being a challenging reading in the eye of a young reader (Fulmer, & Tulis, 2013). I can also see that the gendering of the non-gendered people may have an affect on who wants to read it. Females may be less willing to read what can be seen as a patriarchal novel from first glance. Hopefully, they can look past the choice, and make an attempt to explore a genderless world.

Important link: https://www.theparisreview.org/interviews/6253/ursula-k-le-guin-the-art-of-fiction-no-221-ursula-k-le-guin

Interview of Le Guin talking about her novel and Science Fiction

The Knife of Never Letting Go

You may recognize the name Patrick Ness from the recent book turned movie: A Monster Calls. While that story is filled with meaning, it also is considerably short. I'm going to push for a different novel of his here: The Knife of Never Letting Go. The story follows Todd, who lives on a world that humanity is trying to colonize, as he figures out the town he lives in has been corrupted, and that he has been lied to his whole life. Fleeing the town that he thought was the entire world, Todd and a strange girl run to tell the rest of the inhabitants about the town's peoples' plan to take over the settled world. The girl is strange to Todd, because for the first time in his life, he cannot hear another person's thoughts. Something about the atmosphere here causes men to have their thoughts echoed loudly from their heads. Meaning everyone in the vicinity can hear a man's every thought.

Patrick Ness stresses the strained relationship between genders that this phenomenon causes. For many of the towns Todd and the girl cross, there has grown a divide between the genders. In many cases, there is either a dominant male leader, surrounded by male counterparts, or the opposite; the women are steadily in charge. The complete transparency causes men to be put at a social disadvantage, which has turned into violence on numerous occasions. Students can explore what this says about current gendered interactions. One thing the author could be saying is that men are easy to read through their body language, and that women speak more through their words. It is worth discussing what effect this would have if it occurred on our earth. To think of the chaos!

The situation that Todd grows up in, which was not an enriching place, means that he is not very knowledgeable about technology, social situations, and other things. This forces him to heavily rely on his companion throughout the story. This also fosters strong emotions for her. Does this kind of relationship model real relationships? For Todd, this is literally the first girl he has ever met, so there may be some first love kind of situation going on. Exploring how relationships would function in this one way free thought flowing world can be an interesting topic. Readers do get one example of Wilf and Jane are an older couple that the main duo meet and who get along well, so they might offer some insight into the discussion.

Overall, this book is fairly long, but keeps a good pace. There is action frequently, but it is not happening all the time. Ness explores using different styles and sizes of font to represent the voices coming out of the male’s heads, which sparks interest when it appears. The language and topics are fairly accessible. I think most students would be able to engage with this novel, and find something to talk about within it.

Important link: http://variety.com/2017/film/news/tom-holland-daisy-ridley-chaos-walking-release-date-1202492450/

Movie is in production.

Ancillary Justice

Taking inspiration from Leguin’s piece, Ann Leckie creates her own version of a space drama/ adventure (2013). The Radchaai, the reining civilization, does not use different gendered pronouns. To show this, Leckie uses the pronoun she. However, there are sexes, and it extremely difficult to guess at what sex the characters are. This is made further difficult, because the main character is an AI living in a human body that it controls as part of the ancillary movement.

The ancillary process itself is worth discussing. The Radchaai are a colonial force, bringing in other civilizations into their empire, either by choice or by force. If force is required, the Radchaai bring in ships controlled by AI to help their soldiers. As hostages are taken in the fighting, their consciousness is removed and the ship’s AI consciousness is embedded. The ship then controls that person as one of its ancillaries, and the soldier fits the culture better. The ethics of this process are extremely troublesome. However, the Radchaai are also a communist society. They do not let people starve, there is not much divide between rich and poor, everyone is placed in a job that they are suited for. While there is corruption, as there is always corruption, their society is pretty fair. Is a fair society worth the violent colonizing of uncivilized nations?

The main character, Breq, is herself a broken ancillary. Broken in that her ship, and all the other ancillaries making up herself were killed. It would be like living in a big glass house, and then suddenly only one window lets light through, except worse, because that does not consider how much of herself she lost. What makes the whole situation worse, is that Breq loves to sing, and would sign to the crew of her ship through many voices, but the body she is stuck with has a terrible voice. Interpreting the story from this character’s point of view, it is easy to empathise with her. However, the reader should not ignore what she is; an AI, living in someone’s body that was seized from them. Students should consider whether she deserves our empathy. Breq’s attempted murder was enacted by one of the bodies of the Lord of the Radch in some sort of treasonous move. So her main goal of the novel is to murder the Lord to get revenge. It is worth considering that she had previously been serving the Radchaii for over a thousand years. Considering all of this, and more in the novel,  how should we view Breq and her actions?

Ancillary Justice should meet the requirement for length of a book for most summative projects. Getting to know the cultural terms takes time, and may prove a challenge. It requires students get to know a variety of new words, and word meanings in multiple societies. It may also be difficult to imagine the characters, as they are all represented by female pronouns. However, it is an extremely engaging read. There is a lot of action, and a lot of uncovering information or hidden plots. I think most students, once he or she get into the story, will finish the book quickly.

Important Link: https://www.annleckie.com/2014/10/22/ancillary-tv-maybe/

Blog post by Leckie talking about the possibility of bringing the book to the screen

Works Cited

Fulmer, S.M., & Tulis, M. (2013). Changes in interest and affect during a difficult reading task: Relationships with perceived difficulty and reading fluency. Learning and Instruction, 27, 11–20. doi:10.1016/j.learninstruc.2013.02.001

Kim, J. S., Hemphill, L., Troyer, M., Thomsom, J., Jones, S. M., Larusso, M. D., & Donovan, S. (2017). Engaging struggling adolescent readers to improve reading skills. Reading Research Quarterly, 52 (3), 357-382.

Le Guin, U. K. (1969). The Left Hand of Darkness. United States: Ace Books.

Leckie, A. (2013). Ancillary Justice. New York: Hatchette Book Group.

Lindquist, S. C. M. (2012). Gender. Studies in Iconography, 33, 113-130.

Maglaty, J. (2011). When Did Girls Start Wearing Pink? Smithsonian.com. Retrieved from: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/

Michaud, J. (2009). A safe trip into Androgyny. The New Yorker. Retrieved from: https://www.newyorker.com/books/book-club/a-safe-trip-into-androgyny

Robinson, L. M. (2010). Girlness and guyness: Gender trouble in young adult literature. Young People, Texts, Cultures, 1 (1). 203-222