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pillow-anime-talk · 1 year ago

Note

Nsfw 41 for ango from BSD for fem reader

Maybe their married idk

# tags: scenario; current marriage relationship; hot romance; smut; ango as a workaholic; nsfw

warnings: mention of sex and sexual acitivities, oral sex (female receives), fingering, desk sex, kisses everywhere, squirting, no condom, creampie, a bit of dirty talk, pet names

includes: female reader ft. ango sakaguchi {bsd}

authos’s note: i am sorry you waited so long, but i started working in mid-august, and i am also on an internship and i just don’t have much free time to write stories :(

41. “Of course. I am yours. Only yours.”

It was a quiet afternoon; September was a transitional month between warm summer and rainy and windy autumn, so today was a sunny day, and at the same time a gentle rain had been falling since the morning, which watered the plants in a natural way and also was a nightmare for women who had washed the windows or hung up the laundry at balcony the previous day.

However, you were proudly walking in the middle of the sidewalk with an dark blue umbrella in your hand. On the way, you only stopped at a bakery for two oatmeal cookies with dark chocolate, and then you got to the well-known building without any major problems. In this huge place, guarded by two security guards, your husband, Ango, worked. You had known each other for over a dozen years, and you met at university, when you chose the same field of study. At the beginning, your acquaintance was based on quick ‘Hellos’ and ‘Goodbyes’, but during one integration trip you became a little closer to each other and at the same time became friends. Then, during your second year of studies, you became a lovely couple and a few months after writing your diploma theses, he proposed to you. Your relationship was textbook and problem-free, and your arguments consisted of very domestic things like: taking out the trash, dirty dishes in the sink, and hair in the bathtub drain.

Everyone at Ango’s work knew you well, so they greeted you with a smile and a slight nod of the head. The woman behind the reception window didn’t even have to ask for your name or last name, she only nodded, saying that your husband was in his office and filling out the documents that had recently been delivered to him. You thanked her and wished her a peaceful afternoon – since it was almost 5 p.m. – and then headed to the right floor and then to a room you knew well. You knocked three times as was your custom and then went inside.

When Ango saw you, he merely tocuhed his glasses with a slight smirk, inviting you to sit right on his lap. You hadn’t really seen each other since last night, as your partner got up quite early and after a quick see you later kiss (while you were still asleep), left your cozy apartment twenty minutes from downtown.

“... I brought you a cookie, honey.” You giggled gently, placing the paper bag on the wooden desk right next to the stack of large books, papers and the black monitor.

“Thank you.” He replied, his soft smile was still visible. “How was your day, love?” And this simple question consumed you for the next half hour.

{ ･ﾟ✧ }

At some point, between eating a delicious cookie and drinking a cup of tea from the coffee machine under the window, and a short conversation on the phone with Hana – the woman from the ground floor, from the reception desk – that everyone had already left the office, you were seated on hard, slightly too cold wood, and your bare buttocks slid across its surface, soaking it from time to time.

Your husband’s tongue brought you to the brink of orgasm without any problem, and his hands gripped the skin of your thighs and calves. From time to time you felt his fingers pushing against your hot walls, and soft moans escaped your lips, muffled by your own hand. A feeling of uncertainty and at the same time excitement and joy bubbled in your mind and heart. At some point, your orgasm was so close that you tightened your legs around your husband’s neck, apologizing to him after a while.

Your pussy was throbbing, and although oral sex was an amazing alternative to regular one, at that moment you wanted nothing more than to have your beloved, long-term partner’s cock fill you to the very back of your uterus and fill you with cum until the last drop. At that thought, a few trickles of your juice wet Ango’s two fingers and his chin again.

“...Tell me what you want.” He said from between your legs and you just tilted your head back, biting your bottom lip between your teeth. “What’s going through your pretty head?”

“Ango…” You muttered, breathing raggedly. “Please stop. Enough of this. Just fuck me already.” The desperation in your voice was palpable and visiable. The dark-haired man only raised the right corner of his mouth. “Please...”

“You’re mine, right?” He raised an eyebrow slightly and you immediately nodded. Perhaps too fast and too chaotic, which could look comical from a third-person perspective.

“Of course. I am yours. Only yours.” You assured the twenty-five-year-old, and he smiled more clearly. “Ango, please. Baby.”

A few moments passed, too long for you, before your husband lifted his body and then rested both of his hands on the sides of your buttocks. He leaned down slightly to kiss your lips, swollen from biting, and you moaned once again that evening, feeling not only the taste of coffee without sugar and milk, but also yourself. Your hands immediately tangled in the unnaturally soft hair and your thighs tightened around the man’s waist. You felt his erection against your pussy and you almost died when his right hand cupped one of your breasts. Your bra was far away from you, as were your pants and lace panties. Ango was still in his clothes, although his belt was loose and his shirt had lost its white buttons.

“Make love with me.” You said shyly. Your voice was like a small cat begging for some attention. Your husband just chuckled under his breath, kissing you once again on the lips and then on the forehead before sliding his pants down to his ankles along with his black boxers. His cock glistened with precum, making your pupils big. “Ango...”

He ran the wet tip of his dick over your entrance a few times and you almost screamed at how much he was tormenting and toying with you. It only took a moment for you to melt between his fingers, but luckily after three seconds his cock entered you without any problem. You never needed lube, the overwhelming arousal gave you enough lubrication.

The room became stuffy as your breaths mixed together and your bodies hit each other, causing the desk to creak. You felt your pussy pulsating from the inside and your clit slapping against his pubic mound. Your husband’s cock was fucking you as good as ever, and the fact that you were having sex at his place of work added a strange but interesting edge to it all. Everything around seemed exciting.

A few moans, gasps and grunts later, the desk was getting wetter and wetter, your juices dripping onto the wooden floor, slightly lighter than the furniture. Your teeth bit into the skin of your husband’s neck while he tightened his grip on your waist, ass and thighs, sometimes your neck and hair as well, although he wasn't a fan of pulling them. He hit your g-spot with the greatest precision and didn't spare you a few hickeys, which after a few minutes proudly decorated your breasts and cleavage.

When you felt the distinct slap, you squirted like clockwork, making your pussy tighten even more on your man’s cock. He let out a long growl and then rested his forehead against yours – they were both sweaty and red, just like the rest of your faces: ears, nose, cheeks. He moved inside you a few more times, causing a few drops of cum to fall onto the wood between his legs, and then he sighed, tired.

“... We have to clean up.”

“Yes. We have to.”

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jackfrombaskinrobbins · 2 years ago

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daredevil fam x teen!intern!reader [pt. 1]

CLICK HERE FOR PT. 2

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

word count: 1.5k

request: yes / no

original request: DYING over your matt post– i'm a sucker for casual family hcs with teen readers, it's always the cutest !! could i request something similar like the whole team (nelson, murdock, & page) taking care of an intern? just a teen who usually takes care of filing ends up wandering into the whole found family dynamic they have set up? thanks !

dynamic: daredevil fam (nelson murdock & page) x teen!intern!reader

characters: reader, matt murdock, foggy nelson, karen page

a/n: hiii tysm for this request!!! i love found family hc's too -- especially with daredevil bc i feel like i haven't seen many :( if y'all ever have more daredevil requests like this i would be more than happy to write them!!

taglist: @nutellani @thecloudedmind

(fill out this form if you'd like to be on my taglist!!)

-----------------------✰----------------------

your school had an internship program.

basically, during the last few weeks of the year, everyone in your grade was matched up with a company to go be interns!

and sometimes that led to summer jobs which was cool

anyways so you were pretty excited

you had been looking forward to getting your assignment for a while now.

you had told the people who assigned the internships that you were interested in law, and you were holding out for a good assignment

but you were kind of worried because a lot of people were interested in law as well

so finally the day came

and you were confused to see someplace called “nelson, murdock, and page” listed there

like who the heck were these people

even worse, a couple of the really egocentric & mean kids got internships at landman & zack.

LANDMAN & ZACK

and they were really rubbing it in.

“y/n, where did you get assigned?”

“uh.. nelson, murdock, and page.”

“huh, never heard of them. i got assigned to landman and zack!!! aren’t you happy for me?”

blech

anyway the first day that you were supposed to go came finally

the one upside to being assigned to nelson, murdock, and page was that it was fairly close to where you lived

like only a block or two!!

you honestly weren’t sure what to bring so you kind of overpacked

well not crazy but still

you probably wouldn’t need three packs of pencils AND two staplers

but hey, this was new york! anything could happen.

you took a deep breath as you walked in, and as you approached the door, you could hear what sounded like an argument inside.

“listen karen, i’m not gonna take it anymore! the shamrock shake is gross!!”

btw i agree with that statement not that it’s relevant but still its nasty spearmint is blech

oop back to what i was writing

“foggy, you’re wrong. it’s what really makes spring for me!!”

“hey, you two. there’s someone outside.”

and just like that, the two who were arguing turned to face the door.

you gave a sheepish wave, embarrassed that you hadn’t just walked in.

“aw, no way!! are you the intern? uhm… your name… uh..” said the shamrock shake hater

“y/n.” said another man, the peacekeeper, it seemed.

you had remembered the internship assigner telling you one of the lawyers was blind

and judging by the red glasses, this was the one.

“yeah, that’s me. you must be murdock… i think.”

“call me matt.” he said, extending a hand for you to shake.

then the woman, (shamrock shake lover), also extended her hand.

“i’m karen. it’ll be nice to have someone new around here!!”

“yeah”, said the shamrock shake hater, “nice to have someone to do all the filing!”

“oh.. filing?” you asked, brow furrowing.

you could feel yourself deflating a little bit.

“don’t worry, there’ll be plenty of interesting stuff for you to do y/n.” matt spoke, a small smile on his face.

“foggy, how about you show them how to do it?” karen said right after, pointing at shamrock shake hater.

foggy, now.

“aw, karen!! you know i’m no good at filing!!”

“that’s a lie. you just pretend to be bad at it to get out of doing it.” karen replied, and matt nodded.

a big dramatic sigh from foggy

“al-RIGHT, al-RIGHT! jeez. c’mon y/n. seems like we have work to do!!”

you couldn’t help but laugh bc these people were ridiculous

in a good way

at least for now!

turns out foggy WAS good at filing

and apparently you were too!!

he made a game out of it to see who could unlock the cabinet & put the folder in the right spot first

and not to brag, but you always won :)

he even bet his lunch that you couldn’t beat his time!

“don’t mess with them, foggy. i think they’ve shown they can run circles around you.” karen laughed as he challenged you

and yet he still did it!!!

and you won!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!

so you had a delicious sandwich & chips for lunch courtesy of foggy nelson :D

the rest of the day was pretty nice too

like most of it was filing but matt told you about some of the cases they were working on

and karen was so sweet like y’all were gossiping fr

she told you about all the crazy stuff that happened at the firm

and honestly, you were so glad you had been assigned to this firm

because were the people at landman & zack having this much fun???

no i don’t think so!!!

plus it helped that they all hated landman and zack too

foggy told you all about how stuffy and uptight everyone was there

so it was kind of a relief!

-----------------------✰----------------------

I HAD TO DO THIS IN TWO PARTS SO HERE'S THE SECOND ONE

CLICK THIS FOR PT. 2

#daredevil #nmcu daredevil #nmcu headcanons #matt murdock x teen!reader #foggy nelson x teen!reader #karen page x teen!reader #nelson murdock and page #nelson and murdock #matt murdock #karen page #foggy nelson #marvel #mcu #marvel headcanons #mcu headcanons

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sanddusted-wisteria · 7 months ago

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An update on my fics

hey wow it's been 4 months

Nearly six months on both longfics lmao. I've been busy and will continue to be busy, unfortunately. Grad school is a different beast entirely to undergrad (be careful taking 3 grad classes in a semester. 2 heavy ones can really make you regret it), I need to prepare for job interviews and PhD program applications, and this summer I've been wrangling an internship and research work.

Even so tho, my MTAS brainrot is far from dead. It takes a lot of time and effort, but I still have a lot I want to do with the My Time verse and my OCs, both art and fic. So here's a quick update on where I am and what the plan is with my fics and fic series going forward, and some previews of what I have so far (on a separate post bc this one's already too long lmao)!

TL;DR: busy, but still writing! WIP snippets on the next post.

[Long post and rambling belowwwwww]

Earth and Sky

Currently my primary focus. E&S has evolved a TON since I decided to rewrite it. How much? Well...

[Drafting = first draft is in progress; Revising = draft is plot-complete, set aside for future editing passes]

In fact, I haven't even outlined the ending chapters since I recently had a change of heart in the kind of resolution I wanted. I got stuck on it enough that I decided to forego outlining anything for now and playing that one more by ear. I think any more time I spend tweaking these outlines might put me off this fic altogether :P

As someone that started writing with nameless/generic builders, writing for an OC is a different kind of challenge. I'm working to try and strike a good balance of focus on Wis vs Qi vs them together, and making Wis a very human, if not enjoyable character. Still, I think that this is one of those projects that if I can get right, it will be VERY right. It'll just take a bit to get there first :>

At minimum, I'll wait until most if not all of the chapters in the first third/quarter are done (chapters 1-16) to start posting, though hopefully I'll also have a solid idea for how some of the later chapters will go as well. Those are the really (internal) conflict-heavy chapters and I want to make sure it won't come out as shallow :P But I am excited to show you what I've got cooking!

A Cosmic Garden

This is the broader series for Wis and Qi. E&S will be the biggest fic, but it only goes up to a little beyond MTAS's Act 2. Beyond that, my plan is to write some side stories that go into Wis's Lore(tm), namely her origins as an Old World clone and her interactions with other Wis clones around the Alliance.

Why side stories? Well, a) any plot involving Wis as a clone is relatively spread out across the timeline of MTAS's story, since it's actually not that closely tied to her "main" storyline (being the first clone I made when the clone story was just kind of just a bullet point on their lore descriptions, it's less involved), b) it therefore doesn't really affect the story of how she and Qi get together, and c) I know that people might be far more interested in just the romance story with Qi (which is totally okay! I understand, I'm pretty much in the same camp with OC-centric stories a lot :P)

As for the equivalent of MTAS's Act 3, this won't be one cohesive fic, but a small series of smaller stories, since I don't really have too many ideas for a fully fleshed out telling of Act 3 that doesn't just walk through the main missions without much deviating from that. Some of those stories include:

A series of conversations between Qi and Miguel post Act 2

A Nia/Mi-an story

A silly little oneshot of Qi and Rosie interacting (tentative)

The original idea that Strangeness and Charm sprouted from; Wis and Qi conducting a methodical study on non-sexual intimacy (tentative)

The finale of the MTAS main story

A Builder, a Researcher, and a Rooftop

Currently on pause. For now, there's just too much OC brainrot for fics and on OTAS that I just need to get out. Don't worry! I'm absolutely not abandoning this one. I just can only really focus on one big project at a time lol. We're close to the end of this story's act 2, though not much of the remainder is written. In fact, chapter 34 is already done, but not chapter 33, so I can't quite post it yet. I think after I get the first part of E&S done (or I suppose whenever I feel like picking it up), I'll switch gears to at least get to the end of Act 2. Act 3 will need some reevaluation...I've hemmed and hawed over it forever, but I do want to finalize the plot for that one, and also potentially get started on that as well.

Others

To the...5 people that read my Grace/Wis miniseries, I really do still want to get that done a;sdlasdralsdrkj It's been hard since my thoughts on how Grace and Wis interact after Act 2 have changed a lot. But even so, I hate to leave it hanging there, so I've started working on it again. It's already outlined, I just need to get it filled in.

Someday I should come back to Quiet Moments in Sandrock... My art's gotten a ton better since then and there's a few ideas I still have leftover that I never got to. Unfortunately I need to make room for it somewhere in the 13438525 other art ideas I have that I can only do like 1 per week at MOST asdlrkasdasdrjksdrj

Sitting on the back burner forever in my writing folder is a fusion of Junji Ito's Uzumaki and MTAS... An MTAS version of Uzumaki's story works SURPRISINGLY well, and Wis and Qi I think make for stronger protagonists in this setting than Kirie and Shuichi in theirs if I do say so myself lol. It's fully outlined and everything, but that's gonna forever be on the back burner until either my longfics get done or I figure out how to write horror, whichever comes first 😂

So all in all...still cooking! Thank you if you read all this, and thank you for your patience, especially if you've been closely following any of my in progress fics. Hopefully once the interview and application cycle is out of the way this fall, I'll have more brain capacity to really plug away at all these and share with you all! :>

#long post #shady's fics

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thehumanexperience8b · 4 months ago

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November 1st, 2024: Halloween!

Happy Halloween, LOVELY!!!

This was the first year that I haven't gone trick-or-treating. I have RESPONSIBILITES, and a real job now! I never continued my work on the farm, I can start working there again in summer of 2025 I suppose according to the internship program. At first work at the kitchen was hard. My anxiety disorder caused a lot of... disorder! But after two days, which I was told where probably the worst days of the year to start training, I contacted management to see if I could switch to another department. My hiring manager told me maybe I could give it another try, and just focus on one thing at a time. So now I make grinders! Following the footsteps of my mom who worked at Subway apparently! And I think I made a new friend! Well actually, I really enjoy the company of all my coworkers. That's probably the main reason I didn't leave, because the two boys who trained me the most (shout-out to Kevin and Nate!) where very understanding and helped me to feel like I wasn't in the way. I also formally met this guy who worked in the deli department, his name is Evan. HELLO EVAN! If you're reading this..! (I gave him a link to my blog.. or maybe I didn't. I'm writing this in the past by the time you're reading this.) Very interesting guy, we have so much in common! And don't worry, I made sure all my coworkers knew I was insane before I started having actual conversations with them. Sorry not sorry! I'm going to be myself and I hate small talk! Still hard to believe I even got hired in the first place. My best friend told me that everyone she knows tried working there, but she was surprised I got hired. Backhanded compliment much?! Just kidding, it's okay! She's right, I don't have much experience other than my farm job. She says it was my personality that got me hired. Everyone always says my personality is the best thing about me. Well, I guess what else can you ask for??

Here's some photos from these past couple weeks. I just got my hair curled in those photos! Autumn is my favorite season! I'm a little sad I couldn't really celebrate Halloween in the magickal way I wanted to, but I was also so excited to be working, so it's okay! Welcome to November!!!

#halloween #october #november #autumn #love you!

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fuck-you-upmusicbracket · 2 years ago

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Am I Awake? (They Might Be Giants)

When I get through this part/Will the next one be the same/Will I be wondering/If I'm awake?/These are not the clothes I had on when I went to bed/And something else besides my hair is growing from my head/And when I close my eyes it looks the same as when I open them again/Am I awake?

"Man I don't know what exactly about this song gets me so hard but it just makes me wanna get up and stim and think about my blorbos and their trauma. it also just speaks to me as a person with memory and identity issues, it really outlines the dissociation and confusion i feel when i don't remember something and/or can't grasp what i'm feeling. it also has a sort of inception vibe to it? or maybe groundhog day? The strange vocal samples and frantic drums and fast bpm with the really slow vocals on top is just soooo good. really really good song"

Montreal (Penelope Scott)

It's not that it's a bad plan, no the plan fuckin' slapped/I was so excited, you don't know how bad/I wanted all of it, the coffee job, the weather, the apartment/But I don't want anything anymore/I don't know, I guess I just got bored/It doesn't matter where the trolley goes this time/Because soon enough the summer's gonna take my fucking life

"I was in college, away from my home for the first time in my life. I had plans, I thought I knew where I wanted to go in life. Then the depression hit. I wanted to lie in bed all day and stare at the wall. I didn't care what happened to me, I let a good internship fall by the wayside, I took up self harm again, I got very close to offing myself. Fortunately I managed to get back home before I went through with it, but I'm still not as good as I was before, some years later. This song speaks to exactly how I felt in that dorm room".

#fuck you up bracket #tournament #polls #they might be giants #penelope scott

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enaistyping · 5 months ago

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September 23, 2024

Today was extremely productive for me!

I was able to lock in to over 4 hours of coding today (which is not super normal for me), so I am extremely proud of myself for putting in an extraordinary amount of effort into something I love! Once I was able to work on just coding today, it reminded me why I love it so much; which is something I really needed. Recently I have been really doubting my skills and love for computers, but after today I really got my spark back.

In addition to working on school projects, I finally decided to start working on LeetCodes. I haven't used it before, but I think it will be great practice and I'm super excited to try it out. (This is probably something I should have started much sooner, but at the same time, it's never to late to start!)

Tomorrow I have an internship fair, hosted by my university. It should be a great experience to talk to recruiters and learn about companies I could intern at in the future. Last year I went to my universities internship fair, however it was online, so it was much easier to talk to the recruiters when they weren't face to face... I am planning on finding somewhere to intern soon, as I'd like to have an internship by next summer.

Finally something academic related that ISN'T computer science related (since I know I have some followers from langblr). Today in my German class I got to write an essay, which I LOVE to do. Our essay prompts were related to relationship vocabulary, so I got to write about my boyfriend. It was so fun and I wrote so much but was still the first to get out of class (which I was proud of). I absolutely ADORE writing in and using the German language. I am still considering a minor in German, but I am not sure if I will have the time or energy to do so. This is also my last semester of German (if I don't chose to minor), which I am quite sad about. However, I will definitely continue to practice and study on my own out of school!

>> Take some time to take care of yourself this week and know that you are loved ! xx

#codeblr #coding #comp sci #college student #study motivation #programming #python #studyblr #langblr #linux #german #germanblr

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secondgenerationnerd · 1 year ago

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Pretty good answers :) got some more if that’s ok?

1: who’s the strongest & weakest in omega?

2: how long have they been a team?

3: for Christmas, what’s the best gift they ever gotten?

4: who puts the Star on top of the tree when with their own families?

5: what’s their favorite Christmas movies?

6: what’s their favorite thing to do during the winter?

Ooooo

1. In terms of powers, Jon’s strongest and Lian/Damian weakest.

Interms of ABILITY I’d actually put Jon at the weakest. I think he relies on his powers too much to make up for any lack of skill, compared to Damian or Lian, who are able to keep up with their powered friends, or Mar’i, who was raised around the Batfam and can fight with or without her powers.

In terms of intelligence, the twins at the top with a combined IQ of 386. Colin is only at the bottom compared to the others, but don’t let that fool you. He’s the smartest when it comes to knowing the streets.

Basically, they’re all the best in one area and the weakest in another.

2. They formed when Lian (the oldest) was 13, and Mar’i (the Youngest) was almost 12, so factor that in when reading any of my fics

3. Oooooo

Milagro—Mar’i met her fashion idol at a gala (wearing one of Milagro’s designs) and managed to get her a summer internship with her. Milagro kissed Mar’i in her excitement 😂

Irey/Jai—light sabers. Like the really high tech ones. They’ll wear their Hanboks and act like they’re in a KDrama

Colin—first year they were a team, all their parents planned a surprise for him. His teammates got him fun presents, but the parents? The parents helped him get his friends nice presents, then got him furniture and clothes that were all brand new. Just for him. He hugged each of them and kept crying because he wasn’t expecting the love.

Damian—A little before Christmas (I made his birthday the same as mine, December 10th) but his favorite gift was adoption papers from Selina

Lian—Singing with her dad, after getting a new song book and guitar. It made her feel really safe and close with him

Jon— a copy of his favorite Ma Recipes. She wrote them each by hand for him and gave it with a kiss

Mar’i—she found Kor’i’s old stocking the first year on earth. Dick hung it up and, on Christmas morning, it was filled with all Kor’i’s favorite things….including the perfume she always wore. Mar’i was so excited

4. Ooo colin is always invited to everyone house and has turned into Abuse to put the star on a tree

Mar’i, again first year, didn’t fully understand when they said “Star goes on top” so she flew to the top. Usually it switches up every year between all the bat kids. Damian helps Bruce set up and light the menorah

Milagro usually puts the star on top, with Jaime lifting her.

Lian and Roy absolutely, without a question in my mind, fire an arrow into the ceiling with the star hanging over the tree

Irey and Jai also switch up

For Jon’s family, it’s usually Ma

5. Every year, without fail, they watch Klaus on Netflix. Omega also has one day they turn in Hallmark movies and just….exist.

6. Oooo depends.

Milagro (Texas girl through and through) despises the cold. She spends most her days inside knitting or embroidering. Damian is usually with her if he’s not training. He also learned to knit thanks to her and they enjoy just watching telanovelas together.

Mar’i is fascinated by the snow so she’s usually out and about. Jon takes her ice skating every year (which she’s awful at but he’s actually really good)

The twins, Lian, and Colin? Out side having snowball fights.

There has been a snowball fight amongst all omega while their families were around. Full powers, complete chaos, and the most fun they’ve ever had

#mar'i grayson #irey west #lian harper #damian wayne #jai west #milagro reyes #jon kent #colin wilkes #omega squad

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thalassiosira · 2 years ago

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I know I post so sporadically here, but lil life update! :

graduated uni in May !!

broke up with my (now ex) bf but feel good about it

spent the summer in job hunting hell

got my first Big Girl job (well an internship) and started in September

still kinda burnt out from uni but recovering

Now that I’m a bit more settled in with my internship (which hopefully turns into a permanent position when my contract ends) I’m ready to start learning again! I’m looking at self-study courses again and also browsing masters programs which I plan to apply in the next year or two! yay exciting

#mine #studyblr #university #studyspo #environmental science

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supercantaloupe · 2 years ago

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lying face down on the floor

didn't get my internship. autism swag too strong for the kennedy center i guess i mean why else would i be rejected from three separate internship positions already. they couldn't handle me (<- trying to act cool about losing an opportunity in her dream job/field)

but it does mean i can go to spain this summer. which. i mean. spain is cool. excited to go back. and i love getting to travel and play. even if i do have to pay for the trip (on a scholarship, but still) myself instead of doing a job and getting paid for it.

although it is technically a mission trip with a korean church group's youth orchestra so i have no idea if i'll like. have anyone to hang out with or relate to. idk i guess i'll just bring a book to read while everyone's in bible study or whatever. not like i've had much luck in the past making friends with anyone whilst traveling even when they're my peers...except when i went to italy with my own youth orchestra in high school...i always get along better with other music people but like. idk. i don't see myself getting super buddy buddy with a bunch of kids and i have no idea who there'll be in terms of other adults to associate with either. idk. i'll enjoy the scenery and food at least

i need to look for a new job for the summer now tho. probably retail or food service. which. will probably be soul sucking. but. i need something to do and some way to earn cash. and it's just until the end of august...at least i have the fellowship lined up for next fall thank fucking gd. if i didn't. idk. i'd just melt into a puddle of goo or something

oh and i have to cancel my gig with another local orchestra too. i was supposed to play EH on scheherezade for a concert in june with them but it's during the spain trip so. i feel bad about cancelling on them but at least it's with a month and a half of warning. plus i offered to lend/rent them my instrument cause i don't need it for my trip. that way at least they can have someone cover the part without me and maybe i can make a little bit of money from it...not much tho i don't have the heart to charge a lot

well i went over to see the apartment again and got a few more things sorted out there. i'll be switching to the smallest room rather than the biggest now which is fine cause i don't need a big bedroom and the rent is cheaper and very reasonable for this city. i get extra storage and desk space in the basement too since i have the smallest bedroom. and i'm buying a bunch of furniture from an outgoing tenant including bed desk chair and dresser for relatively cheap too so i don't need to get or move any big pieces like that myself, convenient. i'll probably move in first week of may and boy am i looking forward to it. i want undergrad to be over already i am so tired of being here

oh also dan texted today to tell me he's sick! fucking wonderful! he said he got someone from the conservatory to cover which i think he means for tonight's rehearsal? honestly i don't even care at this point if he's out for the concert tomorrow i or his backup contact will cover the first parts for him but i will go literally fucking insane if he's still out of it by sunday. he says it's just something he ate and he should be fine by tomorrow but You Can Imagine Why I'm Not The Most Confident. i mean fucking hell i haven't even met the second player he got for my trio yet...we're supposed to rehearse tomorrow afternoon for my recital sunday morning. and brother i feel like an e string about to snap

#i wanna talk about me #also i still have all my finals to work on.#i think. i might. just. take a nap though.#like yeah i Really Need To Get Work Done but. i am so fucking tired man #the movies were right that everything really can everywhere all at once #i know that's not what the movie is about but. whatever. i'm going the fuck through it right now just give me this

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epiclevelup · 3 days ago

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26-02 (7:48, Metro)

Been some days. Had a nice weekend, going to the lake with my girlies. We had a nice night in, read tarot cards, set up a makeshift double bed and had a sleepover, and then went to visit a nice lakeside town the next day.

On my birthday, flower guy proposed to call, and we did the next day. It was very nice, and we were on the phone for two hours until I got to my russian friend house (with whom I also had a sleepover). However, I have since felt the conversation dwindling. A bit because I don't feel like it's escalating to anything more serious or smth, and a bit because I have the impression he's always dodging the (very few and definitely not very prying) personal questions I ask him here and there. Honestly, this is making me feel like I should probably just let the conversation (and him) go, although I am sad to do so. So now our convo is at a point of stall, and I think I'll leave it like that. Maybe just send him some meme on ig or smth, just to feel like I left making the last move.

I've been feeling particularly tired these last few days, and also feeling suspiciously warm. Worse thing, I feel like I'm just really unproductive. I need to do better.

On another note, yesterday I invited italian coffee guy to an event. He said maybe (sounded more like a no) but

(20:49, bus)

but he did invite me to another event next week , which happens to be where my longing is. So I'm kinda excited for that, ngl.

On worse news, no reply from flower guy + got rejected for the summer internship. I think it's a sign from the universe that it was not the right opportunity for me, tbh. But still, I thought my interview went really well, so I am kind of confused. But well, that just means I need to pour in my effort into applying to even better opportunities. In my life it's always been true that, when something doesn't work out, it's because something even better is around the corner, which I would not have been able to pursue had the first thing actually worked out. I guess this apply to both work and relationships.

On some good news, I did see some exciting internship opportunities, and will try to apply by tonight to some, and by tomorrow to the others.

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flirting-with-psychology · 2 months ago

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REFLECTIONS Answer the following questions:

What is the single best thing that happened in the past year?

2015: The beginning of the fall semester when I grew a lot more confidence

2016: Studied abroad

2017: Graduated

2018: Moved into the B Flat

2019: Got a boyfriend

2020: Got a car

2021: Got my vaccine

2022: Went to the premiere of Good Night Oppy which I worked on

2023: Went to the Taylor Swift Eras Tour concert

2024: Maybe the solar eclipse

2. What is the most challenging thing that happened to you in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24?

2015: Getting over Marble maybe

2016: Getting over Hawaii

2017: Making my 4500 film

2018: The music videos I did

2019: Deciding whether to date my now boyfriend

2020: The entire pandemic

2021: Still the fucking pandemic

2022: Trying to figure out my future with my boyfriend

2023: Dealing with Captain’s wedding

2024: Losing my job

3. What thing did you learn the most from this year?

2015: Hawaii and Marble

2016: My film class

2017: Also my film class

2018: My film jobs and internships

2019: Starting a relationship

2020: I guess the pandemic

2021: The Nasa footage (or google)

2022: My job

2023: My friends or social media

2024: My chemistry class

4. What is the kindest thing you did this year?

2015: I don’t think I’m the one to ask, you’d have to ask people who perceived kindness

2016: Same

2017: Same

2018: Same

2019: Same

2020: Wore a mask

2021: Got a vaccine (though it was mutually beneficial)

2022: Helped my parents with stuff? Helped my friends move?

2023: Didn’t say anything stupid to Captain

2024: You would have to ask people. Also I definitely did say something stupid to Captain last year

5. Did you lose any close family member this year?

2015: Nope

2016: No

2017: No

2018: My great aunt died

2019: No close ones, but my grandma’s dementia is getting so bad she doesn’t remember who I am

2020: No

2021: No but my grandma is pretty far gone

2022: No

2023: My grandma

2024: No

6. Pick three words to describe 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24.

2015: A learning experience

2016: Single, senior, band

2017: Senior to graduate

2018: Almost an adult

2019: Another year older

2020: Covid, long, stagnant

2021: Covid, jobs, vaccine

2022: Friends, film, trips

2023: Taylor Swift, DnD

2024: 30, barely surviving

7. What did you do in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24 that you never did before?

2015: Got further than I ever had in my love life

2016: Studied abroad

2017: Moved into a house with roommates

2018: Moved in with male roommates, did an internship

2019: Got a boyfriend

2020: Bought a car

2021: Got a job in my field

2022: Went to a premiere of a movie I worked on

2023: Spent Christmas with my boyfriend’s family

2024: Sewed a corset

8. Did you keep last year’s resolutions? What were they?

2015: Here we go. Put one happy moment from each day into a jar: YES. Go to the gym regularly: Doing better but still could use improvement. Get a summer job: Yes. Make an effort to eat breakfast: Haha nope. Make an effort to look pretty: About the same as last year. Talk to people more and appear more confident: Yes. Find things to be excited about: Not as much as I want. Find a boyfriend: NOPE. Write more: Not really. Read more: Maybe a little. Have adventures: Some, but not as much as I would like. Initiate things: Yes. Use “I” more: Yes. Be less mean to myself: Yes. Overthink less: No, still working on that. Be proud of myself for trying my best but accept not being perfect: I guess. Take responsibility: More. Be positive and enthusiastic: Still working on it. Carpe diem: Not enough.

2016: I can’t remember lol

2017: I can’t remember what I wrote. Here’s what I’ll do: write my 2018 resolutions so that when I reblog this next year I will know:

2018: Be more adventurous: Maybe? Overthink and strategize less: HA not really. Get a film job: Yes. Eat more vegetables: Maybe a little but still not enough. Go to the gym, like, ever: Yes. Read more: Kinda. Finish my Harry Potter spellbook: Not yet.

2019: Get a boyfriend: Finally did! Be more spontaneous and adventurous: Kinda? Sometimes? Lose weight and eat better: Nope. Read more books: Nope. Finish my Harry Potter spellbook: Not yet. Learn how to work hard: Not really. Spend more time with my friends: Kinda. Love myself, and be someone I love: Not really. Carpe diem: Sometimes. Keep doing the moment calendar and journal: Yes. Earn more money than I spend: Nope. Travel: Yes. Discover new music: Yes. Try new creative things: Yes. Believe in myself: Not really. Learn to be a leader: Nope. Watch more movies: Some. Think about other people: Tried to. Learn how to make mistakes: Kinda.

2020: Get a new job: No. Lose weight and fit into my dresses again: Noope, the opposite. Read more books: A couple. Spend more time with friends: Haha, nope, although I did zoom with them some. Go on dates: Not really. Keep doing the moment calendar and journal: Yes. Try new creative things: Yes, I tried dice making. Take risks even if they cost money: Yes, again the dice making. Make more money than I spend: Actually yes with the stimulus. Make jewelry: Some, and opened and etsy page. Get back to people in a timely manner: So-so. Be more punctual: Nope. Finish my harry potter spellbook and keep up with my character book: Nope. Learn new things: Not enough. Be the kind of person I wish I could be: No. Be more open to ideas: No. Post more pictures online: No. Don’t be such a control freak: Not even a little bit. Worry less about what people think: Kinda. Laugh more: No.

2021: Get an interesting job: Yes. Get my own apartment: No but I moved in with my boyfriend. Get a covid vaccine: Yes, 3 of them. Lose weight: Lol no. Keep doing my sticky notes and moment calendar: Yes. Be less hard on myself: Kinda. Survive: The year’s not over but yes so far.

2022: Finish moving in: Yes, after a scare with a fire in my neighborhood that prompted me to finally get all my stuff together. Get back to normal: Covid wise, yes, for the most part. Lose weight: Not really. Do more crafts: I think so. Read more books: A couple but not as many as I wanted to. Do well at my job: Yes. Hang out with my friends more: Yes. DM a short campaign: No. Keep doing my sticky notes and journal: Yes.

2023: Keep doing my sticky notes and journal: Yes, the one I always achieve. Actually lose weight: No. Stick to my dice workout rewards program: I did do them but not as consistently as I wanted to. Finally finish my Harry Potter spellbook: Finally did!. Be on time for work: Nope. Cut out the time I waste getting ready for bed: Nope. Do more creative projects: Sorta, I can’t remember how it compared but I did some!. Read more books: Yes. Make the Detroit: Become Human jacket: Yes. Spend time with my friends: Yes. DM a one-shot: No. Make friends at work: Sorta but not ones I can really hang out with. Clean the apartment: No. Save a decent amount of money: The opposite.

2024: Continue doing the daily moment calendar and question journal: Yes. Read more books: Yes. Complete at least 3 dice workout challenges: No, just 2. Get in shape before I’m 30: Sadly no. Make friends at work: Sorta, but then I lost my job. Run a DnD one-shot: Not yet, maybe in the future. Put more effort into my appearance: Yes, at least with my outfits and a little with makeup. Save money: Nope, the opposite. Be more confident: About the same. Make a renaissance festival costume: Yes, I sewed a corset. Find some healthy meals that are easy and good enough to make regularly: Nope, pasta all the way. Clean the apartment: Once or twice. Be more social: About the same. Try out for a musical: Yes, but I didn't get cast. Be a better girlfriend and friend: About the same. Be more punctual: Nope.

2025 resolutions: Keep doing the daily moment calendar and question journal. Find a job in a career I'm interested in. Lose weight. Complete 3 dice workout challenges. Be more confident. Be 30, flirty, and thriving. Experiment more.

9. Did you travel to any interesting places in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24?

2015: Went to Las Vegas for my birthday and California with the band and Kentucky to see Paul McCartney.

2016: Went to Italy, went on band trips to California and Texas

2017: Went to London with my mom, went to New Orleans for my cousin’s wedding and hooked up with my 6th grade crush, went to Wyoming for the solar eclipse

2018: Went to Las Vegas for a film shoot

2019: Went to Israel

2020: Went to Harry Potter World in Orlando with my boyfriend

2021: Nothing too exciting but went to Colorado Springs for thanksgiving

2022: Made up for some lost time with trips to St. Louis, Chicago, San Francisco, and New York

2023: Spent last New Years in Breckenridge, went to las Vegas with my friends from band, visited my boyfriend’s family in Chicago

2024: Went to Austin for the solar eclipse, Chicago with my boyfriend, and a couple other places where the people were more interesting than the place

10. What would you like to have in 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25 that you lacked in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24?

2015: A BOYFRIEND HAHAHA

2016: Still a boyfriend lmao fml

2017: Still a boyfriend but one that I feel satisfied with. I’m not sure if I’m there with Guacamole. Also he’s not even my boyfriend yet

2018: Still a boyfriend lmao

2019: An interesting job (finally got the boyfriend!)

2020: A job, an apartment, and a vaccine

2021: A fucking break from this damn pandemic

2022: Clarity

2023: Clarity, a better body, confidence

2024: A job I'm interested in pursuing

11. Do you even believe in new year’s resolutions? Why or why not?

2015: I think they are a good idea, for reflection as much as goals.

2016: Maybe. Idk

2017: Yeah it’s a good idea

2018: It’s always good to try to better yourself and it gives you motivation to do it

2019: It’s a good idea for goals

2020: It’s good to make goals and remind yourself what to work on

2021: Yeah it’s a good idea

2022: It’s good to make goals

2023: I believe in making goals and I like traditions

2024: It's fin to do and make goals

12. Do you believe that 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24 had an reoccurring theme for you? If so, which theme and why?

2015: No more than any other year really

2016: More like my entire life has a recurring theme of being single af

2017: Not really

2018: Boys I like having girlfriends

2019: Macy’s

2020: Covid

2021: Still covid

2022: Making up for lost time in the pandemic

2023: Taylor Swift

2024: It recurred 2021 with looking for a damn job

13. Do you feel like 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24 went by too fast?

2015: No

2016: It went a little fast, especially now that I’m about to graduate

2017: Not really

2018: Not really, but maybe my youth went too fast

2019: It went by too fast for how much I accomplished

2020: It went by way too slow

2021: No but my youth is going by too fast

2022: I think it went a normal speed but yes my youth is going by too fast

2023: Yeah, it went by fast without accomplishing much and now I’m almost 30 and not ready

2024: Yes

14. Did you fall in love with any new artists during the year 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24? List them.

2015: I fell back in love with Taylor Swift

2016: Collabro

2017: Anastasia the Musical cast, and Hamilton is growing on me

2018: A bunch of musicals

2019: My musicals playlist on spotify has Rent, Dear Evan Hansen, Legally Blonde, Galavant, Hamilton, A Star Is Born, Frozen 2

2020: Fell more in love with taylor Swift, and Come From Away

2021: Olivia Rodrigo

2022: Jake Wesley Rogers

2023: Ghost

2024: Chappell Roan

15. Brag about two of your accomplishments in 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24.

2015: I made a couple cool music videos, and I lost some weight after increasing my gym attendance.

2016: I made a short film, Pancakes, with a full crew. I got straight A’s in the spring.

2017: I graduated and I made another short film

2018: I worked on two film shoots and I got promoted at work

2019: I stayed in touch with friends I made on a film shoot, and I got a boyfriend

2020: Bought a car and was the costume designer for a TV pilot

2021: Got a temporary job on a documentary, got a full-time job in my field

2022: Had a movie I worked on premiere, got a friend group

2023: Made Connor’s jacket from Detroit: Become Human, finally finished my Harry Potter spellbook

2024: Made a Mollymauk costume, aced my chemistry class

16. What was your favorite movie that came out this year?

2015: The Martian

2016: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

2017: Coco

2018: A Star Is Born

2019: Rocketman

2020: None of them were really memorable

2021: Again there were none that memorable

2022: Good Night Oppy

2023: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes or Dungeons and Dragons

2024: Wicked

17. Fill in the blank: In 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25 I will ____________.

2015: Get the confidence back that I had in the fall

2016: Graduate college

2017: Start looking for film jobs

2018: Find myself

2019: Find a new job

2020: Survive, please

2021: Rebuild

2022: Lose weight, finally finish the Harry Potter Spellbook

2023: Lose weight

2024: Find a job

18. If you could fly anywhere in the world in 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25, where would you go?

2015: Italy, and I plan to!

2016: London, and I plan to

2017: Scotland or Ireland, and I don’t have any plans to

2018: Maybe that Israel birthright thing

2019: Maybe Ireland or Amsterdam

2020: Wherever has the least amount of covid. Of course that probably means they wouldn’t let me in

2021: An alternate dimension that doesn’t have covid

2022: Maybe Amsterdam, we had planned loosely on that before covid

2023: Somewhere in Europe (but I probably won’t until 2025)

2024: Amsterdam and I plan to

19. What was your biggest regret of 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24?

2015: Worrying about the future when I had something good rather than just enjoying it

2016: Not trying enough in making friends and making the most out of it

2017: Maybe not getting quite enough out of college

2018: Forgetting or never quite learning how to work hard. That and not asking a cute guy out in time

2019: Not buying that moonstone necklace

2020: Gaining weight

2021: Maybe being mean to my dad

2022: Being unfair to my boyfriend

2023: Gaining weight and being hurtful to my boyfriend

2024: Not focusing on figuring out a career before I got desperate

20. Do you think you’ll be having a better 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25 than 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24?

2015: I hope so

2016: I hope so

2017: I hope so

2018: I hope so and I think so

2019: I sure hope so

2020: I fucking hope so

2021: God I fucking hope so

2022: I hope so but I don’t want to get my hopes up too hard

2023: I’m not sure

2024: I hope so

21. Did you make any new friends this year? Lose any friends?

2015: I got closer with some friends :)

2016: I made some new band and film friends. One of my friends from freshman year died.

2017: I almost lost a friend but now we seem to be friends again. I also made some new ones

2018: I made some new ones, and kinda stopped being friends with some of my old roommates

2019: I think I got closer to some friends

2020: I met a few online playing among us, and I probably lost my roommates

2021: I met a couple people from the film shoots and DnD

2022: I got closer to some friends

2023: I think I made a couple new ones, and I stopped talking to a few

2024: I made a couple in my chemistry class

22. What was the biggest adventure of the last year?

2015: Hawaii, I think

2016: Studying abroad

2017: Moving out and starting to adult

2018: The film shoots

2019: Dating my boyfriend

2020: Harry Potter World

2021: Venturing back into the world

2022: Gradually getting back to normal

2023: The Taylor Swift concert

2024: The solar eclipse trip

23. Did you get cake on your birthday? Presents? What you wanted?

2015: Yeah I went to Vegas which was cool! Got cake and alcohol and presents

2016: I did not get cake but I got IHOP. I got presents, and the football team won the game that day sending us to the PAC 12 Championship

2017: I got pancakes, presents, and maybe I’m starting to get what I wanted?

2018: I got chocolate mousse and presents and I didn’t even know what I wanted

2019: I got cake and presents including one thing I wanted

2020: I got bundt cake and a few things from my wish list

2021: I got fondue and shopping and presents

2022: I got chocolate fondue and presents

2023: I got fondue the day before and wine-soaked pears the day of, and I got a couple things I had been wanting

2024: I got cake at my party and presents from a few people. I did not get what I wanted which was a hot body

24. How much did you change this year? What’s different about you?

2015: Not too much has changed but I think I’m prettier, more confident, braver, and value bravery more.

2016: I’m lazier, gained back the weight that I lost last year, and lost some of the confidence from last year. Wow…

2017: I’m not a student anymore

2018: I maybe lost some of my hope in my love life and felt more set in my ways

2019: I don’t have as much FOMO but I’m also getting more frustrated with my life

2020: Gained weight, got more anxiety

2021: Maybe became more forgiving of myself, started running out of fucks to give, but also still worried about running out of time

2022: Got more relaxed about covid, hung out with friends more

2023: Stopped worrying about money (unwisely), started gaining the FOMO back

2024: I didn't change a whole lot but I think I got more resigned

CONFESSIONS

Bold the statements that are true (2015) and cross out (2016) and italicize (2017) and I’m running out of formats so CAPS (2018) and *star (2019) and ~tilde (2020) and =equals (2021) and +(2022) and #(2023) and $(2024)

In the year 2015/2016/2017/2018/2019/2020/2021/2022/2023/2024 I confess that I….

KISSED SOMEONE I HAVE NEVER KISSED BEFORE. #+=~*DID SOMETHING I REGRET. $*Painted a picture. #+*Dyed my hair. Got a new haircut I thought I’d never get before. Wrote a poem. Graduated from High School. Graduated from College. Applied for Graduate School. $+RAN A MILE. Ate much healthier. Ended toxic friendships. $#+=~*GAINED A NEW FRIEND. Gained a new best friend. *Visited a foreign country. $#=~*LIED. $#+=~*HAD A FIGHT WITH MY PARENTS. $+*HAD A SECRET/KEPT A SECRET. Realized my homosexuality. =~REALIZED MY BISEXUALITY. (OR AT LEAST QUESTIONED IT) Realized my pansexuality. Realized my asexuality. =~*Broke a promise. *Slept under the stars. =~*STAYED UP TILL SUNRISE. ~*PUSHED SOMEONE AWAY. $#~*Got in a fight. SLEPT WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER. $#+~*ATTENDED A PARTY. Got dumped. Got a new piercing/tattoo. Learned that I wasn’t cis gender. Drank underage/used illegal substances. $#+*ATTENDED A CONCERT. $#+*ATTENDED A MUSICAL. $#+=~*TRAVELED TO ANOTHER CITY. $*Broke someone’s heart. $*Hiding something from someone. $#+=~*MADE SOMEONE’S DAY. Cheated on a test/homework. Physically cheated on my significant other. #+=~*Emotionally cheated on my significant other. ~Quit a job. =GOT A NEW JOB. Learned to hate someone I thought I never would. Learned to be more patient. Saw the supermoon. +~SAW THE METEOR SHOWER.

#new years #survey

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