#i also appreciate that they were always private about their relationship previously

[domitablefocus]

Personal headcanon that Solas and Lavellan share a ✨️tender✨️ kiss because his face hurts.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

Ep 26 Commentary

Alrightyy I've mustered up what's left of my brain for a belated ep 26 commentary post. IRL responsibilities are getting a bit away from me so I wasn't able to spend as much time on this as usual; apologies if the haste shows through! Consider this more reaction than meta.

As always, spoilers under the cut:

A carry-over comment, but I really do appreciate the Li Lun/ZYC scene in ep 25 for how it solidified ZYC's resolve and reminded him of where his heart is, what he believes in, what he chooses to defend. Such a load-bearing and pivotal conversation for both characters in opposite directions of development. It also makes ZYC's return to the Bureau triumphant in a way, despite all the preceding trauma, despair, and hopelessness. WX embraces him in relief that he's safe and in comfort for what they've all just been through, and for us, it's doubly meaningful as a sort of homecoming after a confrontation that only we have witnessed. It's also interesting, the cutaway as they hug, the things we have been made privy to and the things that are kept private from us.

Ouuughh the lines voiced over as ZYZ and ZYC meet eyes for the first time since all that transpired in Tianxiang Pavilion. It gives such a deep sense of wordless understanding and intimacy. I'm reminded of when the show did that for Ranyi and Miss Qi's final lines.

As I mentioned previously, a lot of subtext became text in this episode, which was quite exciting (and also extremely adorable the way ZYC was like "I think I've said too much" /// afterwards). I didn't expect ZYC to convey his understanding of ZYZ to him so soon, but that really goes back to something I love about ZYC: that he doesn't really waste time expressing something once he's come to an emotional conclusion. Maybe there's something to be said there about how he knows, after the loss of his family, how important it is to say the words when you have them to the people in front of you while they're still here.

If ZYC's words and his tears offered to a catatonic ZYZ in ep 23 were an expression of star-crossed and conflicted love, this parallel scene is just an utterly unrestrained confession, the stars be damned.

Also, tbh I never found ZYC's reactions to ZYZ to be unfounded or unreasonable, even when misguided in the beginning (and necessarily so, given the narrative and premise) or at times harsh (which I also found much-needed for ZYZ to hear, and delivered with obvious sympathetic anguish). He was clearly reflecting and actively revising his own preconceived notions this entire time, feeling for ZYZ the whole way through, and I do think he's demonstrated realistically and impressively the full extent of empathy perhaps as far as it can possibly stretch without personally experiencing ZYZ's life himself and while still living and feeling for his own. But to see ZYC so ready to address his previous flaws, to admit them and correct them, to go beyond them and to reach out so plainly for ZYZ in front of him now that he has that personal experience—the relationship between them has transcended the initial set-up of two opposing characters meeting in the middle. The show has gone that extra step and made their perspectives one. And given that I didn't personally find that step to be narratively necessary, so to say, (as in, even without it there's not truly a narrative obstacle because I already believed ZYC loves ZYZ despite everything and we've already seen the lengths he'll go to not to kill ZYZ), it feels like a choice in every definition of the word. Like a development motivated by love all the way down.

WX gets the least traumatic cloak-draping scenes out of the three of them, thank god.

Oh shit I forgot about fixing the Wilderness I'm so glad they didn't lmao.

Ahhh the crossroads moment at a literal (kind of) crossroads right before entering the Bingyi Clan's forbidden area. ZYC suddenly wanting to go alone or back out, stuck weighing the danger to everyone's lives, who they can and can't save depending on his choices. It makes me think of what happens when we let intense love in and it comes with intense fear, makes us freeze up. Suddenly, the stakes are in sharp relief, and the courage to move forward isn't so simple anymore.

"修好了，你也別死" ("Once it's fixed, don't die either.") Head in hands. ZYC's voice here, his expression, that desperation. Yeah I think this episode was so draining because of how all pretense is being stripped away and all that's left is ZYC's profound love for everyone, so raw and vulnerable that it hurts to watch, especially knowing he won't have it easy trying to keep everyone alive.

Kind of love how freely ZYC cries and says the vulnerable things in front of all his loved ones. Like. That's truly his family, his people, his heart.

ZYZ please. Imagine ZYC's grief without you. Please just stay.

Yay 12 seconds of angst-free bickering right before (as someone else called it) the trolley problem

Ok so, I'm not sure how common this interpretation/reading of the following scene is, but it's been rattling around in my head for a while now so I'm just gonna include it here. If y'all disagree, pls disregard! Basically, when ZYC first turned to PSJ and thanked her, I was terrified for a moment that he would ask her to stay. Because on one hand, ZYC would never, but on the other hand, imo there's a lot of (I think deliberate) ambiguity baked into the scene. In ZYC turning to PSJ right after we're told "one of your friends or all three of them," in him starting the series of goodbyes with the character he has the least onscreen development with, in the finality of what he says to her but also the lack of clarity on just who this is final for, in PSJ's expression and WX's reaction, in the dramatic turning away at the end. Like, until he turns away from her, I think there's room for interpretation on what he's decided to do, and as someone who's grown quite surprisingly invested in the ZYC-PSJ dynamic, I'm kind of morbidly interested in this reading of events.

What might be going through PSJ's head at ZYC's words, if at this moment she hasn't yet realized his self-sacrificial intent? Does she think she's going to be asked to stay? Does she assess the situation, conclude that she's the person ZYC is least close to and perhaps the one least able to contribute in whatever comes next as the only human here, and begin resigning herself to this outcome? Are the tears in her eyes the sole indication of her conflicted unwillingness to die here that makes it through because as he's talking, she's evaluated that this is the best possible scenario for them all (esp for WX) and will commit herself to his decision even if it also breaks her heart to be chosen this way?

I may be taking this and running a bit far with it, but I just think the ambiguity of this one brief moment can create such angsty implications between the lines (as if we needed more angst...) and despite their scarce onscreen interactions, I'm kind of a sucker for the "extremely noble (to the point of tragedy) knight choosing to acknowledge and follow and dedicate their silent loyalty to a leader they deeply respect" dynamic, even if it is understated with all the other relationships going on in this show. Given how reticent PSJ is, it makes a meaningful impact on me every time she displays concern for ZYC, so you know it crushed me to watch her desperately and irrationally (the most pragmatic of them all!) try to shoot at him with her arrows while knowing there's no way it'd work. The way she was the first to act, the sound of nothing but the ice and the stretch of the bowstring. I really do love their platonic bond much more than I expected to.

Oof. The freezing. I don't want to sound like a broken record but I loved TJR's acting here because I think it's so easy for this scene to look awkward as he's stuck facing forward and pretending to freeze haha. His microexpressions as he realizes ZYZ is behind him, as he tries to chase him away with his words, as he's probably burning from the inside out with all that ice. That last tear as his gaze turns hollow. A+

I also love ZYZ's lines about not believing he can't overcome ZYC's powers like yeah this is a newborn demon with no inner core and ice powers that he taught him lmao

Okay, that's a wrap for my thoughts on this ep! I was originally going to include ep 27 reactions here too, but seeing as this is getting a little long, maybe I'll roll 27 into my thoughts on ep 28? We shall see!

[kinzis-writing]

Sweet Nothing | Tee Higgins

Summary: Tee and Y/N appreciate the simple pleasures of being together, no matter what the world puts them through.

Pairing: Tee Higgins x Fem! Reader

Requested: Yes | No Based on this request!

Warnings: mentions of hate, private relationship, reader is well-known as well, suggestive content?

Note: I apologize if you did not want the reader to be "famous" or well-know, I just felt it would fit better with what I wrote. I can always re-write if you do not like it, just let me know! 🫶

*Not edited*

Word Count: 3.2k *not including song lyrics*

I spy with my little tired eye, tiny as a firefly A pebble that we picked up last July, down deep inside your pocket, we almost forgot it Does it ever miss Wicklow sometimes?

“Hey, do you need any laundry done? I was going to throw a load in, and I didn’t have a full one.” Y/N asked as she entered the home gym, where the two often worked out together. It was something that they liked to do, but Tee did it for longer and every day, while Y/N only did it twice to three times a week.

Tee thought for a moment, taking a break from lifting weights. “I have that jacket and jeans that I wore on our trip, if you don’t care to throw them in. I’ll get the rest.” He spoke softly sending his girlfriend a thankful smile before getting back to what he was previously doing.

Y/N turned around to go get the outfit that he was talking about. During his offseason, he had taken Y/N on a trip to Ireland because he knew that she had always wanted to go there. It was the best week of Y/N’s life, just being with Tee in the silence and privacy of a nice quiet vacation. They got to bathe in each other’s company and not worry about the media putting their relationship down or fans of either for that matter.

She threw the clothes in the washing machine, but not before cleaning out the pockets of all the clothes. There had been many times when she had accidentally washed money, keys, and so on since she did not check the pockets of clothing items. Everything was clear until she reached the pocket of Tee’s bottoms, she carefully pulled out a small pebble, looking at it in awe before throwing the pair of pants into the machine and starting the cycle.

“Hey, babe!” She called as she made her way to their shared master bedroom of the home. Tee had officially asked her to move in before they left for Ireland, and she had agreed to take that next step in their relationship. She also knew that Tee’s workout was done and that he would be in the bathroom, either showering or had just gotten out of the shower. “I found this in your pant pocket.” She spoke when she walked into the bathroom and showed Tee the small stone in her hand. They probably weren’t supposed to take things from there, but it was a memory and to be honest, both had forgotten that they even brought it home.

A smile grew on Tee’s face as he noticed the little pebble, “from Wicklow?” he questioned even though he knew the answer. “You were so happy that trip, we were so happy and free that trip.” He corrected while thinking back to the best time together. When you two didn’t have to worry about anything but calling your family to assure them that you were okay.

Y/N thought for a moment, “I bet if it was a living breathing thing that it would miss it’s home in Wicklow.” She spoke her thoughts. That was something the two always did with each other, there was rarely secrets, unless it was surprises. “I know I miss it.”

Tee gave her a reassuring smile, “It will get better.”

They said the end is coming, everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings outside, they're pushin and shovin, you're in the kitchen humming All that you ever wanted from was sweet nothing.

A week later, Y/N and Tee were back to their regular schedules. Tee had practice, interviews, and meetings. Y/N had interviews, studio recordings, Teasers to release, and a few other things on her schedule. This day, Y/N had two interviews back-to-back. Except one interviewer had decided to get out of line and ask some rude questions and made some rude comments about her relationship with Tee. Which only led her to go on Instagram and read through the comments on Tee’s and the Bengals newest Instagram posts.

She hated it when he caved and looked at the hate messages, but she needed to find an argument for what the interviewer had said. Yet, it was impossible. Sure, the two had some loyal fans who appreciated them no matter what or who they dated, but most of their fans were jealous of at least one of them. She thought about the interview and the comments the entire drive back to her and Tee’s shared house.

She had cursed herself when she noticed Tee’s car in the driveway, meaning that he had beaten her home. So, there was no way that she was going to be able to pull her “I’m okay” card, seeing as it caught her off guard. She had taken a few deep breaths before grabbing her bag and making her way in the house, she was hoping that he would not hear her come in so she could go calm down for a minute before having to face him.

“Hey, baby!” Tee greeted from the room he was in when he heard the door close and lock. “How was your day?”

One of the many things you loved about Tee was how much he cared about you. He always put your needs before his and you knew that there was no one else better. “Okay, I think I am going to rest a bit.” She muttered hoping that she was monotoned and the proof of crying wasn’t showing.

“Woah,” Tee called when he noticed her walk past the living room but had caught her tone. He read her too well, and he honestly knew her too well to fall for any of her tricks. “Come here, what happened?”

Y/N waved it off. She knew that mentioning what happened today would make Tee feel guilty when he had no control over egotistical hosts and what his fans and Y/N’s haters think, as well as vice versa. “I’m fine, just a rough day.” She assured walking into the living room.

“Talk to me.” He reasoned to try to make her feel better.

Y/N sighed before throwing her purse on the coffee table in the living room and plopping down on the couch beside her boyfriend. “My first interview went fine. The second interviewer was rude.” Y/N explained to Tee as he listened to what her day had consisted of. He knew that she didn’t let things get to her, but when they did, they could be overpowering. “He asked what song I would write when you cheated on me because all professional athletes cheat. He then proceeded to tell me that a relationship between a singer and professional athlete will never work out. I honestly think he booked me on his show just to dog us.”

Tee gave her a sad smile before pulling her into his chest and let her rest there, “You can’t listen to people like him. You are the best woman out there for me, and nothing is ever going to change that.” He assured placing a soft kiss on her head.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N mumbled as her eyes became teary again, “After he got in my head, I looked at Instagram and twitter comments.” She admitted as she wrapped her arm around his abdomen and blinked her tears away. “On twitter, your mom was defending us and you. But it still gets to me sometimes.” Y/N was forever thankful for having a loving relationship with Tee’s mom. Not only for Tee but also for their relationship and everything that his mother had been through. She deserved to be worry free about her son’s relationship and she loved that the two trusted each other.

“I know, baby.” He assured placing another reassuring kiss on her forehead before pulling away a bit. “You still need to know that whatever they say isn’t true. You’re my girl and you always will be.”

With that, Y/N felt herself drifting off into sleep. Her body was exhausted from worrying about the hate and the comments that the couple was getting. Around two hours later, Y/N had woken up by herself on their living room couch, the smell of food and loud humming coming from the kitchen made her smile to herself a bit. Standing up and stretching, she yawned before making her way into their shared kitchen to where he was finishing up dinner. Since they were both on a similar diet, seeing as they supported each other to that extent.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Tee teased when Y/N had walked into the kitchen. Her perfectly curled hair had turned a bit frizzy from where she had fallen asleep on him during their prior conversation. “I finished the house chores and dinner will be done in a minute.”

Y/N gave him a thankful smile, “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that.” She spoke as she took a seat at the island on one of their bar stools.

Tee shrugged as he held up the box of stuff that he was making, “I used one of those pre-prepped meal kits you buy for us all the time.” He explained before laying the instruction back on the table beside him.

In moments like these, Y/N was so thankful because unlike her other boyfriends, Tee wanted nothing other than her.

On the way home, I wrote a poem You say, "what a mind" this happens all the time.

The next few days had flown by, and the Bengals had just played a game and won, which was why Tee and Y/N were in the car driving back to their place. Joe had ended up having a celebration at his house and the couple had shown up. Y/N didn’t mind, neither of them had been drinking that night and driving at night was calming to her.

“Okay, but what about something like this, “unexpected, this thing we fell into like, so connected. You can at a time when my heart was selective, didn’t have to choose, my love was accepted.” I wanted to get your opinion because I just came up with that idea for a song and- “Y/N trailed off not knowing where she was taking the conversation.

“You want to know what I think?” Tee asked wanting to know if she wanted an honest answer. Y/N nodded willing to take any criticism coming from her boyfriend. “What a mind you have, you came up with that in less than 24 hours and it would be amazing on your next album.”

Y/N was used to Tee’s compliments by now. It happened all the time because he never let her go unnoticed or never forgot to let her know how proud or in love, he was with her. Y/N tried her best to keep up with Tee when it came to assurance to make sure that he knew that he was just as special and important as he tried to make her feel.

“I love you, so very much.” Y/N spoke softly as she interlocked their hands together.

“I love you too.”

Cause they said the end is coming, everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're pushing and shoving You're in the kitchen humming, all that you ever wanted from me was nothing.

A few days later, the couple laid in their shared bed that night just talking. They talked about anything that was on their minds or anything that they felt the other should know. These were the conversations

that Y/N knew the world would say were pointless. Yet, they meant everything to the couple and that was what mattered the most.

“I was thinking…” Tee trailed off making Y/N turn her gaze up to him. She could tell that he was hesitating if he wanted to say what he had originally planned.

Y/N moved her hand up from his bare chest to right under his jaw, while his hand slid down to her mid-forearm. “About?” she urged in a quiet tone to not disrupt the conversation between them.

“Marry me?” He asked quietly that Y/N almost missed what he had said. She looked at him with her mouth parted a bit, not expecting it to come out that easy. “I know it isn’t an ideal proposal and I had a big thing planned out for Christmas but- “

“Yes,” Y/N cut him off making his place his attention on her. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Tee smiled before leaning over and grabbing a small box out of the bedside table. He easily opened it and slipped the diamond ring on Y/N’s left ring finger. Once it was placed, he put the box on the side and pulled her into him. Before pulling her into a kiss and moving to hover over her.

“I love you.” Y/N spoke quietly not to break the intimateness between the two.

“I love you more.” Tee promised before pushing their lips back together so they could spend some quality time celebrating the fact that they had gotten engaged in secret while sharing their sweet nothings that the world would never know about.

The next morning, Y/N had woken up before Tee and decided to cook breakfast for them. As she got the ingredients out for their healthy breakfast, her eyes kept on glancing down at the rock on her finger. It was clear that it cost a pretty penny because of how big it is, Tee had no shame in spending a decent amount of money on designer jewelry, bags, and so on.

While cooking, Tee had gotten up and caught her humming in the kitchen this time. It seemed to be a tune of a song that she was due to record in a couple of days. He knew how her anxiety made her run through the music and the lyrics many times to ensure that she would not mess up when recording.

“Good morning.” He came up behind her and whispered, wrapping his arms around her waist. Setting his head on her shoulder to get a better look at her. “Sleep good?”

Y/N nodded a small smile gracing her face, “Better than normal.” She spoke truthfully. Leaning her head back as she spoke. “How much did this cost?” she asked quietly as she finished up breakfast wrapped in her fiancé’s arms.

Tee shrugged knowing you wouldn’t like the price. He had gotten it custom made when he had noticed you browsing previously, but he always acted like he never paid attention. “Not enough.” He replied instead of giving an actual number for the price.

Y/N placed the food on two separate plates and handed Tee his, to which he thanked her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before going to the table. “I feel like you’re saying that because you know you spent too much.” Tee didn’t reply, but memories about the two of you played through his mind. When you two met, you didn’t even realize that he was more than likely going to be drafted into the NFL. He had been to one of your shows, by accident, seeing as his best friend’s little sister liked her and it was when her career had first started. Ever since you two met, there has been an instant connection. Being friends and then becoming more, Y/N had never wanted anything from him, the same way he didn’t want anything from her.

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors and smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other and the voices that implore, "You should be doing more" to you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it.

It was almost Christmas time, which was when Tee was going to originally propose. There had been many articles, posts, and even some discussion in a few podcasts if the couple was already engaged. Y/N knew that it was bound to happen when she wore her engagement ring but moved it to the middle finger during interviews. She was in no way embarrassed of Tee or how he proposed, she just wanted to keep the happy moments to themselves for a bit longer. Of course, her closest friends knew and so did Tee’s.

With the rumor of them already being engaged or fixing to be, came a lot more hate this time around. People were realizing that one of their favorite professional athletes was about to be officially off the market, and others were realizing it would be harder for break-up songs to be written. Coming with the hate were also articles and news media discussing how Y/N could never settle down because the listeners of her music would abandon her because of her finally getting a happy ending.

“I don’t think the relationship between Higgins and Y/L/N will last. She’ll need some new songs to write, and he’ll pull stunts that all professional athletes do. They’ll get bored and they’ll both be single. We just hope it’s before they actually tie the knot.” A few guys spoke in the video that Y/N had been tagged multiple times. Some of the comments were defending her, while others were tagging her just to nag about her. It was true that she had surpassed Tee in hate comments recently.

Tee walked in as you shut your phone off. You were too exhausted to cry, but it didn’t hurt any less. Y/N was growing a backbone when it came to her relationship, but it was hard considering she still cared too much about what other people thought. “I don’t understand why I can’t handle hate.” Y/N spoke as Tee took a seat right beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “I guess I’m just too soft for it all.”

Tee placed a gentle kiss on your head, “It gets to everyone sometimes.” He mumbled making sure to give your shoulders a little squeeze. He knew that Y/N had trouble handling hate and he wished there was a way to make everyone treat everyone kindly. Sadly, that would never happen. “the ones that say things like that are unhappy.”

She nodded when he said that knowing he was true. You had to be unhappy yourself to try to tear other people or other relationships down. Along with jealousy being a big problem when it comes to two people being together.

They said the end is coming, everyone's up to something I find myself running home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.

Y/N had finally admitted that she was engaged on an Instagram post, on Christmas Day. Many people were saying that Tee had proposed on Christmas Eve or the day that she announced she was engaged. She had decided to let her management take care of her Instagram after her last post, at least until her new album was released. This would give her time away from social media and she had also cancelled every interview that was before her album release. She agreed to still go live on certain socials to engage with her fans but taking a step back from monitoring any comments.

All the hateful words that were being said, were far from Y/N’s mind as she tucked away from her social media’s and stayed off YouTube. Also keeping the tv channels on music or cartoons instead of the news. All this had improved her mental health so much, not being able to see anything unless she wanted to.

“My momma is coming to stay for a few days.” Tee told Y/N as she walked into the Master bedroom where he was putting his laundry away. The little things that help her mentally are always what he did.

Y/N nodded, “Okay. You want me to set up the guest bedroom?” She asked as she went and joined him so they could get the job done quicker and together.

“Already did.” He replied as they both finished the job of their laundry.

It’s the small things that kept their relationship alive. The small gestures, the small touches, the small looks of adoration, the small conversations. The things that people wish, pray, and hope for in a relationship and they both get to have that.

Y/n had come to realize that the world and haters would never understand their relationship. Not the way that they do and even the way their friends see it. Their relationship was full of sweet nothings that the world would never understand. And Y/N was beyond thankful for their sweet nothings, because that was her home and Tee would always be her home.

[larkingame]

Larkin's Relationship to Mormonism & the Children of Cain

Hi Friends, it was brought to my attention that there were some concerns with Larkin, its characters and the Children of Cain. I wanted to address some things first, clarify and talk about certain aspects, and talk about steps moving forward. 

Recently someone brought up the idea that the concept of the 'Children of Cain' is not a new concept. In fact, it's an idea conceived and embraced by the Mormon Church as a harmful term for black people. It was used to ostracize and embrace ideas that are overall harmful to People of Color across the board. This was used to justify and encourage countless crimes against not only black people, but indigenous people and other people of color and supported a racist rhetoric that still persists to this day. 

In context of the story—the Children of Cain call themselves that based on Lore relevant to Vampires, something that seems silly in the face of the actual racism that people faced previously and still face today. 

 While much of Larkin (and the Abrams Family) is based on the early days of the Mormon Church, the cult of personality of Joseph Smith and the offshoots of the Church of the Latter Day Saints, and is in part meant to be a critique of those institutions, this is something that I completely overlooked when I first conceived Larkin. But just because I was ignorant of something does not excuse me from taking responsibility for it and the harm I've done with it. So I want to take this opportunity to whole-heartedly apologize, accept that I've done wrong and move forward with and demonstrate changes that'll be made today and in the future.

First and foremost, I'll be changing the name of the Cult the 'Children of Cain' were previously supposed to represent. It was foolish of me to do this, but when putting Larkin originally together I hadn't put much thought into their title other than in the context of the Bible—I thought it flowed well, and had a nice ring to it without doing much research in parallel to the concepts and themes I wanted to discuss in Larkin. I'll also be reworking some of the texts and concepts around the cult in a new version of the game. 

That being said, I'll be privating both the public and alpha versions of the game until they can be reworked and have any of these harmful terms and ideas removed. I’m also going to pause Patreon subscriptions for the moment until this new version is ready, as I don’t feel comfortable making money off of something that brings other people harm. 

I appreciate that this was brought to my attention--and I want to reiterate that I have an open-door policy, and while I strive to not do anything to cause anyone harm or make anyone uncomfortable--if that is ever the case, please do not hesitate to reach out to me in the future--as my dms are always open. 

I want to apologize once more for any harm I've caused in this process, especially to any members of the black community that I've hurt with my ignorance of this topic and my actions.

Thank you. 

[chuncao]

Murim

Joongdok Modern AU 

Yoo Joonghyuk was a famous pro-gamer who rarely got time to come back home. After months of not seeing his family, he finally had the chance to go back to see his sister. However, when the two met up, Yoo Mia kept talking about this one novel - TWS. She even pestered him to give it a try. The novel apparently was quite famous as it had its own webtoon and animation adaption. 

“You wouldn’t regret it, I swear..” Yoo Mia said. 

With that, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to give the novel a go. After all, he wanted to have something in common with his younger sister, who he can only see once or twice a year. At first, he thought that the novel was typical like those of the same genre but as he progressed through the story, he found himself slowly getting attached to the characters. He was particularly fond of the character DKOS who were always willing to sacrifice himself for the others. His companionship with the main character - Yoo Yoonghan was admirable too. Speaking of the main character, the man was somehow weirdly familiar to him. 

As if he was possessed, Yoo Joonghyuk managed to finish the more than 3000-chapter long novel in less than 2 weeks. It was a considerable feat considering the fact that he wasn’t that much of a reader himself. For nearly 2 weeks, his head was filled with the scenarios of TWS and that one particular character - DKOS. Yoo Joonghyuk felt a deep connection to the character to the point that he cried his eyes out when DKOS decided to sacrifice his life for his companions’ happiness at the end of the novel. In a daze, he tried to search up everything about DKOS on the internet, buy every single merchandise available and read every fan theories about the character. 

Much to his dismay, the fandom didn’t really appreciate DKOS since the man was only considered as a ‘minor’ character. They were far more obsessed with the relationship between the main character and the female lead. Yoo Joonghyuk, on the other side, found those characters boring. The fact that people could overlook DKOS for the cheap romantic relationship upset him quite a lot. 

As he was feeling flustered by that fact, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to rant on his private SNS account. Previously, he only used it to upload pictures of his cooking and small daily stories but now, he also made posts about DKOS. Sometimes it was about how great a character DKOS was, sometimes it was him complaining that the author should have given the character a happy ending. No one really paid attention to his posts, but he felt content just by being able to express his feelings for the character. 

All of a sudden, a user named “Dokja” started to comment on his posts. At first, the person questioned his analysis of DKOS, wondering if the author really portrayed the man as such a noble character. Feeling offended, Yoo Joonghyuk did his best to defend his favorite character. It took them a lot of comments and even direct messages to settle the score, but before he knew it, the two of them had become online friend. The user provided him with a lot of useful insight regarding the novel and he wasn’t obsessed with the main characters like the others in the fandom. Yoo Joonghyuk enjoyed talking to the other, which didn’t happen much considering his character. 

—

Kim Dokja was a writer first and foremost. While he wouldn’t consider himself to be famous, one of his works - TWS - was gaining attention nowadays. While Kim Dokja was grateful that his work finally got noticed, he didn’t expect people to label it as a “romance novel”. The novel was an action one with romance being the subplot but somehow, the relationship between the main character and the female lead really blew up. 

“Can’t believe people find romance written by a virgin interesting.” 

Han Sooyoung would always laugh at him whenever he complained about it. 

One day, when he was scrolling through SNS using his private account, Kim Dokja came across a particular fan of his. The fan seemed to pay no attention to the main characters, instead they had taken liking to a minor character - DKOS. The character was only created for the sake of plot convenience, so Kim Dokja was surprised to see someone actually adore the man. He tried to leave a comment in the post to test the other’s reaction and just like he expected, that fan defended DKOS as if their lives were on line. They spent a lot of time arguing and debating but Kim Dokja didn’t really feel uncomfortable talking to the other. When he took a look at the fan’s account, he saw a lot of cooking pictures and short posts acting like a diary. Their wordings were curt but affectionate at the same time. Somehow, Kim Dokja imagined the other person as a quiet-looking girl who loved to cook and enjoyed spending time with her loved ones. It may sound absurd but kdj felt for a girl who he never met before. 

“What the actual fuck Kim Dokja? I thought you had a crush on Supreme King?” 

Han Sooyoung stared at him in disbelief as he tried to ask her for advices. 

“No, YJH is like my idol, you know? Who would want to date their idol?” 

YJH was a famous pro-gamer who kdj had adored since forever. The protagonist of TWS was actually loosely based on the man too. “You are a simp, Kim Dokja.” Han Sooyoung gave him a judging look when she knew of the fact. 

“Anyway, you are telling me that you like a girl who you have only chatted with? And you aren’t even sure that they are a girl?” 

Han Sooyoung said as she mindlessly chew on the sunflower seeds. 

“I know it sounds stupid but-“ 

“What if she was a middle-aged man who likes to pretend as one of those high school girls? Kim Dokja, the internet is full of shit.” 

His friend deadpanned. She had a point. Kim Dokja didn’t really know know much about the other person except for the fact that they liked DKOS. The two of them mainly talked about TWS with some other topics in between. For example, Kim Dokja did know that the girl had a sister and she adored her a lot despite not being able to spend much time with her. 

He knew how the girl may sound rude but she was actually caring for those around her. Or how she loved murim dumplings and never ate food cooked by others. She had never made Kim Dokja feel uncomfortable and that alone was enough for Kim Dokja to fall for her.

After much consideration, Kim Dokja decided to ask the girl for an offline meetup. At first, she hesitated, saying that her schedule might not allow for it. However, after checking her work schedule again, she finally agreed. For the first time in his 28-year-life, Kim Dokja had a meetup with a girl. It wasn’t a date per se, but he still felt nervous nonetheless. 

Kim Dokja arrived at the meeting point 30 minutes earlier so he still had some time left to prepare for his heart. As he was trying to calm his heart, a message arrived.

"Sorry, something comes up at work. I will arrive 30 minutes later than our agreed time." 

The message was from the other girl. Kim Dokja, being the coward he was, actually felt relieved for having more time to collect himself. As an effort to stay calm, Kim Dokja decided to open Star Stream to watch YJH. Today, the man was having a match and were it not for the meetup, Kim Dokja would have stayed at home and watched it from start to finish. By the moment Kim Dokja entered the stream, the match had already ended with YJH's team being the winner. The man was now answering an interview but he somehow kept looking at his pocket watch as if he was short on time. Did he have something to do after the match?

Not really interested in the interview, Kim Dokja decided to watch clips from the match. YJH, as amazing as ever, led his team to victory effortlessly. With a calm face and collected voice, the man gave out orders and directions for his team members to follow through. Kim Dokja had to admit, a focused YJH was really hot.

As he was too immersed in watching YJH's clips, Kim Dokja didn't notice a figure approaching him. The man, dressed in full black, kept looking up and down at his phone. After a while, he approached the spot where Kim Dokja was standing.

"Hello, are you "Dokja"?" 

Kim Dokja recognized his private's user name. He felt his heartbeat quicken but something didn't feel right. The voice was way lower than that of a young woman. 

 "Hello?" 

 The other person asked him again, this time with a hint of annoyance. Wait, why did it feel so familiar. 

 "Yes, I'm Dokja. You are Murim, ri-" 

As Kim Dokja looked up, the sight of someone who he couldn't be more familiar with filled his eyes. It was the same man who he just saw in the screen moments ago. His phone might still be playing footage of the man going through a particularly hard match. The one stood in front of him was none other than YJH himself. 

 "I'm Murim, nice to meet you, Dokja." 

Yoo Joonghyuk, with his ethereal-looking face, gave Kim Dokja a small smile. Oh no, what had he gotten himself into? Kim Dokja felt like he might faint right at the spot. Who would have thought the fan obsessing over a minor character of his novel was in fact the idol he had been admiring for a long time? Someone please tell him that this was just a dream.

[feralsciencenerds]

Out of both colress and Maxie, who is the one who confesses first and makes the first move? (Fluffy hcs are welcome too!)

OOC// Okay, that first one I'll definitely post an artwork for ASAP! But I'll do a few little headcanons now so you at least have something to read haha This... Might be pretty long whoops. I could talk about this absolutely endlessly, but for now I'll just pick the things that are floating at the top of my head. Thank you for your question!

Despite the fact that Colress and Maxie do butt heads frequently, they work surprisingly well together. Maxie is practically the only person Colress will accept advice from, and while Maxie's not quite as well learned in the field Colress works in, that different outlook on things is frequently exactly what the research needs. Similarly, Maxie isn't particularly great with technology, and of course, Colress is always happy to lend a hand with that. They offer fresh insights on one another's work, and while that doesn't always go perfectly, it is exactly what they need. They also absolutely let one another info dump about their interests.

Colress is extremely possessive over Maxie, and while most see that as a red flag (as they probably should), Maxie's actually very into it. He finds that possessive nature incredibly attractive and is very drawn to it. Colress is none the wiser about this, and it's probably best he doesn't know, because he would likely tease Maxie relentlessly about it.

Speaking of teasing, it's practically Colress' favorite activity. Originally, Maxie despised him for it, but he's come to somewhat appreciate just how brutally honest Colress is with everyone, including him. If he actually gets annoyed, Colress is usually able to tell and will back off, which isn't something he does with most people. Maxie's actually started to tease him back most of the time, so they'll just break out into playful banter at random occasions until one or both of them gets bored.

Despite the above, though, they do share a lot of softer moments. Colress is frequently aloof and rather disconnected from reality, but towards Maxie, he certainly has a softer side. He tends to be especially cuddly at night and in the early morning. He's also no stranger to some PDA, which was originally a problem when they were still trying to keep their relationship a secret, but is now a well known phenomenon in Team Magma's hideout. Colress' personal favorite thing to do is to stand behind Maxie and wrap his arms over his shoulders so he can pull him close against his chest. This is sometimes accompanied by some light swaying~

Colress usually has his hair slicked back, but when it's not, it's rather soft and surprisingly long. Maxie quickly found himself very endeared to early morning Colress, who had not yet had the time to put the gel in. He could sit for hours just running his hands through Colress' hair, and though the blonde complained heavily about it at first, he's found he actually really quite enjoys it.

They are completely terrible for one another. Colress' influence in a previously semi-reformed Team Magma has caused multiple very illegal things to happen, and Maxie's been a part of them all the way through. They're kind of this unique blend of toxic where the people who are most affected by it aren't the two of them, but others around them... Let's just say they do their best, but their best is still not great for the poor people of Hoenn.

Maxie is extremely emotional, and while this usually results in him blowing up at people, it's just as likely that he'll cry in private. Colress is the opposite. Generally speaking, he keeps his emotions under lock and key, which means the only time they come out is when there's so much pressure on the box that it breaks. When this happens, he tends to completely isolate himself because he doesn't want people to see. They are extremely good at comforting one another.

Neither of them are morning people, but Maxie's convinced himself he is for the greater good of Team Magma. Colress, on the other hand, needs to practically be shoved out of bed, and barely functions until he's had his morning coffee. He's made it a habit to cling onto Maxie and complain when they have to get up, but will eventually relent.

Speaking of coffee, Maxie likes his black as the night sky, whereas Colress wants his own to be practically only milk and sugar. He's got a rather extreme sweet tooth, and Maxie finds it incredibly funny.

Colress has always been extremely flirty with Maxie, even before they were together. He finds flustering him incredibly endearing, and even to this day continues to do it. He himself is practically impossible to fluster, but when it happens, it's surprisingly mostly in more domestic situations, rather than anything raunchy/flirty. Little things that make him realize that Maxie loves him simply randomly get to him at times.

Colress' love language is physical affection and gift giving. He'll head out on long walks while doing some of his personal research and while he does, collect cool and pretty rocks he thinks Maxie will like. Maxie, by now, has an entire box full of random stones Colress has brought him, and he appreciates every single one of them. Maxie's love language is quality time and physical affection. This frequently leads them to watching documentaries while cuddled together in bed while one or both of them info dump about their respective favorite things.

Maxie is one of the most organized people you will ever meet. Colress, on the other hand, is... Not. His coat probably weighs 3x what it originally did from the amount of stuff he's always carrying in it. Pens, paper, a random screwdriver, keys, paper clips, nuts and bolts, a laser pointer, some random rock for Maxie, a fidget toy... The list goes on. Maxie has, on multiple occasions, tried to get him to empty his pockets, but somehow, the next day everything is back in them. Despite the chaos, Colress always seems to be able to find everything perfectly. At least his room is kept relatively tidy.

They're disasters your honor <33

[sarith-kzekarit]

Hiya! Thanks for all your comments/tags on my Sarith arts! Would it be okay to ask how his story went in your campaign? I’ve heard so many cool ones over the years!

Hi!! I'm a perfectly normal amount of insane about Sarith and am always on the lookout for more content of him and OOTA in general (I've found very few other fans, sadly). I love your stuff, including your Sporeblood comic, and it always makes me really happy to see anything you share. :)

Anyway, I'd be happy to share some info about our Sarith!! I'm our group's DM and we are currently in the second half of our OOTA campaign, where Sarith is alive and well.

His background (that my party is aware of):

Sarith belonged to a lesser noble house of Menzoberranzan. They aren't a ruling family.

He attended Melee-Magthere and prefers stealth and ranged fighting.

Due to certain experiences, he privately questioned Lolth's propaganda early on and doesn't subscribe to her ideology.

Partially out of a desire to spend as much time away from Menzoberranzan as possible, he pursued a career in cartography. His job was to explore across the Underdark and map out new areas. He's very passionate about his work and once stabbed a man for ruining a map by marking it with a knife.

So far, the above points are unique to us and not in the module.

(MODULE SPOILER) This is how he ended up in Neverlight Grove. In our campaign, he and a traveling partner discovered the previously-unknown myconid colony. Sarith gained a strong appreciation for it and deliberately didn't mark it on his map. During their stay, the myconid Stool grew attached and followed him when his journey continued.

(MODULE SPOILER) Sarith and his partner were infected without knowing it, and it was only a matter of time before one turned on the other. Sarith lost control first and murdered said partner in front of witnesses at a trading post. He doesn't remember the act.

Sarith was arrested and taken to nearby Velkynvelve, where he met the party.

The story so far:

Early on, Sarith was sullen, guarded, and distrustful, but he was fiercely protective of Stool. After observing their relationship dynamic, the PCs told Stool what a father was and how to refer to Sarith as "dad" in Common.

Sarith's health was slowly deteriorating throughout the early campaign, and he made significant efforts to hide this weakness out of fear of being left behind or killed off.

He cooperated with the party for survival, but he also went out of his way to refuse any attempts to help him personally, expecting that he would owe the others something in return.

Despite this, the PCs were determined to befriend him, and slowly but surely managed to break down his defenses. His personality began to shine through: that of a shy, quiet man who preferred being in the wilderness over being around people, and who would ramble passionately about his interests if you could figure out what they were.

As he grew to trust the party enough, he started encouraging them to travel to Neverlight Grove, which he considered to be a safe haven. It would have plentiful food and water to sustain them, and was mostly unknown by outsiders.

(TW terminal illness) As they got closer, Sarith got sicker, and he was prepared for the grove to be his final resting place; this way, at least he would die free, Stool would be returned home, and the people he'd grown fond of would be safe from their pursuers.

(MODULE SPOILER) Thankfully, the PCs were smart and picked up on the hints I sprinkled along the way. They were wary of all the strange behavior, kept a close eye on Sarith, and sent a very small PC-only team to investigate deeper into the grove. After experiencing The Horrors™, the party fled and vowed to find a cure for Sarith.

With more knowledge of exactly what they were dealing with, the PCs found small ways to help manage Sarith's symptoms until he could be properly treated by healers at a major location.

(MODULE SPOILER) As the party got closer to reaching their goal of the Surface, Sarith began to fear what would happen to him when they reached it. There was no place for him in the world above, nor did he have a place in the Underdark. But to everyone's surprise, the least likely person stepped up to offer him a home: the dwarf Eldeth, who he'd previously had a lot of tension with during Part I of the campaign. She had gained a lot of respect for him in the past months (especially from one particular event) and now considers him "one of us."

(MODULE SPOILER) During the Intermission - which the PCs spent on the Surface - Sarith and Eldeth stayed in Gauntlgrym and grew surprisingly close. The PCs insisted on keeping in touch via letters, and when the time came for them to be summoned by King Bruenor, Sarith was fully prepared to follow his friends back into the Underdark.

Present day:

Though Sarith is no longer terminally ill, he did develop a chronic illness as a result of the internal damage done to his body. Old habits die hard, and he's doing his best to hide this so he can be useful to the party.

Two of the PCs are currently in the process of courting Sarith into a poly relationship. It's going well. :)

I love this man so much and have a lot to say about him, but this is by no means exhaustive lol. I'm actually writing a private fanfiction for OOTA (which may or may not ever see the light of day) exploring his character and various themes more in-depth...

Anyway, thank you for asking!!

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

forget me not // george weasley

Summary: Your parents aren’t very pleased when they find out you are dating George Weasley, so they decide to take the matter into their own hands.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: angst

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Also, thanks to @allyjoe755​ for proofreading this!

main masterlist

You knew people were judgmental, which is why you and your boyfriend decided to keep your relationship private. George came from a modest household where clothes were passed down from one brother to the next, whereas you came from an affluent family.

You knew George's interest in you had nothing to do with your family's wealth; he constantly demonstrated his affection for you and had previously said he didn't care what people thought if they saw you going around the school hand in hand. You weren't interested in school gossip, but the news spread quickly, and you were trying to keep George out of the picture for your parents.

The fact that you were placed in Gryffindor rather than Slytherin already caused them disappointment and embarrassment. Your father made sure to let you know in a letter during your first year at Hogwarts when he got the news of how you tarnished the family name. Coming from a long line of Slytherins, you had wrecked the family lineage. Another factor was the way they spoke about the Weasleys; whether you were at home for the holidays or the summer, it was impossible to avoid snide remarks about the family.

You loved George, and the last thing you wanted was to see him hurt, especially not because of your family.

However, luck was not on your side. Everything came crashing down over Christmas break, even after you had successfully kept your relationship a secret for almost a year. George insisted on writing you letters, wanting to stay in touch with you throughout the holidays since he knew you couldn't come to the Burrow. You were hesitant at first, and you were about to turn down his offer, but the moment you made eye contact with him, you caved.

There’s no way you could say no to him. This man had you whipped, and you weren’t ashamed to admit it.

While you thought you were sneaky, your parents were astute enough to notice that you weren't writing to any of your friends. They were thrilled to learn you had a boyfriend, expecting him to be Draco Malfoy or another Slytherin with a well-known family name.

It's unnecessary to mention how disappointed they were when they got their hands on George's letter before you.

You being sorted into Gryffindor? That's alright; they can deal with it. After all, it was a situation over which they had no control.

You dating a Weasley? They were having none of it. And it was something they could correct.

Your friend gave you a side nudge in an effort to catch your attention. It was the first day back at Hogwarts after the holidays, and dinnertime in the Great Hall.

“George Weasley is staring at you,” your friend said quietly as if she was sharing a secret with you.

You shifted your gaze to where hers was fixed. There was no doubt that one of the Weasley twins was staring at you. Quite obnoxious, actually. He smiled and waved his hand slightly when your eyes met. You frowned at the ginger boy’s strange behavior before returning your attention to your friend.

“What's wrong with him?”

“Maybe he fancies you,” Sophie pondered.

You laughed. “As if I would ever stoop so low.”

“Oh c’mon, Y/N, you have to admit he’s pretty handsome.”

You wrinkled your nose and cast a short peek at the younger twin before returning to Sophie. "So you’d date him then?"

“I would, but it’s not me he fancies.”

Sophie didn’t bring the subject back up again for the rest of the meal, which you appreciated. Although, that didn't stop the strange feeling that had taken over you since you met George Weasley's piercing brown eyes.

As you made your way to the common room, you heard a voice calling your name from the other end of the hallway and noticed a tall redhead figure approaching you.

“Yeah?”

“What happened? You stopped responding to my letters. Did your parents find out about us?” You looked at him, perplexed. He was babbling things that you couldn't understand.

He seemed to notice your perplexed expression and inquired, “What's wrong?” He reached out his hand to your face, and you backed away, causing the boy in front of you to appear hurt.

“I thought we agreed on stopping hiding after we got back?” He asked sadly, “At least that’s what you said that was what you wanted in the last letter you sent me,” he said sadly. “Have you changed your mind?”

You took a look at the boy in front of you. You weren't particularly close to Fred and George Weasley, thus it was difficult for you to tell the twins apart. Your first guess was that you were talking to George because, according to Sophie, he was the one who was staring at you earlier during supper.

“George, right?” You spoke for the first time since he approached you. Your words caused a puzzled expression on his face, although you couldn’t understand why. “Look, I'm not sure what you think there is between us or what might happen, but I'm not interested, alright? So I'd really appreciate it if you could stop staring at me so brazenly because it makes me feel rather uneasy.”

“What?” His voice sounded tense and on the verge of breaking. His pained expression made your stomach churn, giving you a queasy feeling.

“You're just not my type—but I'll tell you what, my friend Sophie thinks you're cute, and I think you two would be great together.”

You'd never had many admirers, and you barely drew the attention of any guy, so you'd never had to turn anyone down. It didn't bother you because it meant you wouldn't have to deal with confrontation and break their hearts like you were doing with George right now.

“What are you talking about, Y/N?” You were certain that you saw a tear rolling down his face, but it was gone as soon as you saw it. “You can’t be serious.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be mean. I'm just telling it like it is.”

Fred wasn't having any of it. He'd been sitting on his side of the room for the past two and a half hours, just watching his brother mope. George had been acting this way since your conversation. Now, don't get him wrong, Fred loved you; you weren't just his brother's girlfriend to him, you were one of his best mates, but he wasn't going to sit back and watch you rip the inner light from his brother.

“Y/N,” the elder twin called your name, making you turn around. When you saw the redhead, you rolled your eyes.

“Again?” you sighed. “I thought I made myself pretty clear earlier.”

Your response made the ginger boy frown. You'd always been brilliant at telling the twins apart, never mixing them up, not even when they tried to play tricks on you and confuse you, so you mistaking him for George now was pretty odd.

“I’m Fred.”

“Well, Fred,” you said, emphasizing his name, "what do you want?"

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you and George, but –”

“Nothing happened between me and your brother. Honestly, what’s the matter with you guys? I’ve already told him I’m not interested in him.”

“Well, if you wanted to break up with him, you could have done it a little ni–”

“Break up?” you inquired, bemused. “We never dated in the first place.” You were emphatic. This entire situation was starting to irritate you.

“Y/N, you and George have been dating for nearly a year; what are you on about?” Fred wasn’t sure if you were trying to mess with him or not, but the words you were saying made no sense to him.

“What are you on about? Until today, I had never spoken to your brother. What's the matter with you people?” You walked away from the twin, shaking your head. He had a dumbfounded look on his face that quickly turned horrifying when he realized what was going on.

“Come again?”

George needed to know if he had heard his brother properly. Fred arrived hurriedly, spewing incomprehensible words that his brain was still trying to process.

“I think someone has erased Y/N’s memories of you,” he explained again, this time more calmly, but still trying to catch his breath after the sprint from the corridor where he'd been talking to you to his dorm.

“You mean they cast the obliviate charm on her?” George frowned, confused. “Why would anyone do that?”

It’s true that George was desperate for an explanation of your recent rejection that he would take anything, but he felt like his brother was just messing with him.

“I don’t know, mate. But it would explain everything. I mean, I was talking to her, and as far as she knows, she has never dated you,” Fred explained. “And she looked genuinely confused.”

“And who would do such a terrible thing to her?” George inquired, still skeptical of his brother's theory.

The only person who knew about your relationship was Fred. One night, George told you that you could tell Sophie if you wanted to; considering she was your best friend, he assumed you would confide in her with the secret, knowing she wouldn’t blab. However, you refused. “The fewer people who know, the better,” you said. You were very cautious, always sneaking off and never being affectionate in public. It drove George nuts at times, to see you around the castle, knowing he couldn’t hold your hand or walk you to class.

The Yule Ball was one of his worst nights—and one of yours, too. You knew from the start that you couldn't go together and felt horrible since you felt like you were the problem, depriving George of a normal relationship. You didn't want to spoil his night, so you assured him he could ask anybody he wanted and that you wouldn't be mad—you felt like you didn't have the right to. But your boyfriend refused. "It's you or no one," he said. George's devotion to you warmed your heart, and you occasionally wondered why he chose you.

“Who cares who did it?” Even if his theory lacked support, Fred knew he was correct. “Why don’t we focus on undoing it?”

“Because we don’t know if someone cast the spell on her in the first place,” George said defensively, and his brother couldn't figure out why.

“I know,” he stated. “Stop seeing flaws in everything.”

“I’m not –” To calm himself, the younger twin took a long breath. “I’m being realistic here, Fred. What you're saying makes no sense.”

“You are just mad that I’m the one who realized what’s wrong,” Fred attacked.

Fred's words were meant to bruise his brother's ego, but George stood impassive. “She just came to her senses and realized she can do much better. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

That was all he said before exiting the room.

One of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat. And Fred Weasley wasn’t a quitter. Success requires hard work and perseverance.

George might have given up, but he wasn't going to. He wasn't going to fail you. There was someone out there who had tampered with your memory, removing his brother from every single one of your memories. And Fred would not allow that crime to go unpunished.

The problem was that he had no notion where to begin. It wasn't that Fred wasn't intelligent. He was, in fact, incredibly intelligent, but that intelligence was mainly directed toward developing products for his and George's future joke shop and devising creative pranks that would land him in detention for months. So he didn't know how to break the obliviate charm.

He did, however, know someone.

“Someone erased Y/N’s memory?” “Y/N Y/L/N was dating George?” Hermione and Ron both asked questions at the same time, with the same tone of astonishment in their voices, but whereas Hermione’s voice was tinged with concern, Ron’s was filled with skepticism.

Ignoring his little brother's question, Fred put all his attention on the young witch. “Do you know how to break it?”

Hermione closed the book she was reading and placed it on the coffee table in front of her. She pursed her lips and tried to think of the best way to deliver to the redhead the news.

“It’s not that simple,” she exhaled after a long pause.

Fred’s face fell, “What do you mean?”

“It is well known that the obliviate charm can be broken through torture, but—”

“We are not torturing her!” Fred interrupted her. His face and words were both filled with horror. He couldn't believe Hermione would even think of using the Cruciatus curse on you.

“We aren’t,” Hermione said as a matter of fact. “We could damage her body and mind beyond repair.”

“So?” The redhead demanded sharply. He wanted the solution, not to be riddled with impossibilities.

“That’s the thing, Fred. Torture was the only method of complete recovery, and it has severe side-effects.”

“Is there no counter-charm?” Ron inquired, clearly interested in the subject.

Hermione shook her head.

“What about the memory potion?” Proposed the younger Weasley.

“That’s to improve someone’s memory, to boost their mental cognition,” Hermione explained.

Both Weasleys looked helplessly at her. She sighed and proceeded to explain further. “It helps you to recall things, not things you forgot, but things you’re learning. That's why Professor Snape won't let us drink it during our exams”

“But that might work, right?” Fred inquired, hopefully.

Ron squinted his eyes at his brother. “Why are you the one here and not George?”

“What?”

“You appear to be quite enthusiastic about the whole affair. Why are you so concerned?”

“Are you trying to imply something, ickle Ronniekins?” Despite the use of the nickname Fred’s voice lacked amusement.

Ron simply shrugged.  

“Memory potion is not meant for that and it’s unlikely to work,” Hermione intervened, trying to diffuse the tension between the brothers.

“So her memories are gone forever?”

“They could always return on their own if something triggered them?” Hermione offered, but her voice sounded unsure. “I’m sorry, Fred.”

“Are you absolutely certain you don't want to come?” Sophie inquired, for what felt like the hundredth time. You gave her the same answer you had given her the previous time she asked.

It was Hogsmeade trip weekend, and your friend insisted on you coming with her, but you weren’t feeling it.

You’d been feeling strange all week. A sense of.... emptiness had crept over your mind and body, and you couldn't place its source. And you weren't about to give up the comfort and coziness of your bed anytime soon.

“May I borrow the silk kerchief you wore for Hilda’s birthday party last year?” She pleaded with you with her eyes, and she managed to crack a chuckle out of you. You knew how much she adored that article of clothing that you were considering gifting to her at this point.

“It’s in the bottom drawer.”

She jumped a little in enthusiasm. “Thank you! You are the best.”

“Y/N?” You turned to look at your companion because of her perplexed tone of voice. “What’s this?” She inquired, holding a heart-shaped pendant in her palms. Your brow furrowed at the sight of the piece of jewelry you hadn't seen before.

“Where was that?”

“It was in your drawer,” your friend explained as she handed it to you.

You carefully examined the piece of jewelry in your hands. You'd never seen anything so lovely before. You brushed your fingertips over the flower shapes on the cover, and a chill ran through your entire body.

When you turned it over, you could read an inscription engraved in cursive. ‘Today, Tomorrow & Always.’

Your confusion reached a new level when you opened the pendant and found a picture of yourself and George Weasley on the inside.

The moving image depicted a memory that you were unable to recall. You watch inquisitively as the woman in the image—a carbon copy of yourself— looks adoringly at the young man and proceeds to kiss his cheek, to which the boy replied with a wider grin.

“Is that you with Weasley?”

You were so preoccupied with the couple in the image that you missed your friend's words. You couldn't take your gaze away from it, relishing the curiously pleasant sensation it gave you.

Warmth.

Familiarity.

Comfort.

Safety.

It was strange how many emotions an image you'd never seen before could elicit.

“Y/N?” Sophie inquired, a little more concerned this time.

You closed the pendant and fastened it in your palm, got out of bed determined, and still in your pajamas, you headed to the dorm door.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to do something.”

When you left your room, you were unsure where you were heading. But, without knowing how or why, your feet led you to the Astronomy Tower.

You'd been there before, in fact, countless times. You liked the tranquility it provided you, resting your arms on the railing and gazing at the stars at midnight. Now, in the winter and in the daytime, you could appreciate everything covered in snow. It was a beautiful view.

You could tell you weren't alone when you reached the top of the stairs.

“Hi,” you said softly, making your presence known. The boy tensed at the sound of your voice, but he didn't make the effort to turn around and face you. He kept leaning on the railing, watching the wintry landscape.

It didn’t stop you from speaking again. “Haven’t you gone to Hogsmeade?”

Again, you were met with silence.

You cast a quick glance at the pendant in your hand before returning your focus to the redhead, who was still staring toward the horizon.

Trying not to be hurt by his indifference, you tried again. “George.” It was the first time you pronounced his name, and it appeared to register with him because he turned back to finally meet your gaze. “What’s this?” You finally asked, holding out the pendant in your hand for him to see it. You needed answers, and he was the only person who could provide them.

“I gave that to you for our six-month anniversary.” His voice didn't quiver, but the pain in his words was clear. “As a promise that we would always be together.”

“I– I don’t understand,” you stammered, “I don’t –”

George remembered your chat the first day following the Christmas holiday, as well as his conversation with Fred a few days before, and taking in your confused expression, he began to think that maybe his brother wasn't so wrong after all.

“You really don’t remember?” His voice was low, and he moved a few steps closer to you, yet leaving a large space in front of you because he didn't want to cross your limits.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to remember, or what I forgot in the first place,” you muttered helplessly. In the face of the situation's powerlessness, you can notice tears welling up in your eyes. “What is going on with me?”

“Y/N, I–”

“I haven’t felt like myself since I got back; I feel like I’m broken and –”

“You are not broken, Y/N.”

“What’s this?” You shook violently the pendant in your hand, “And why does it have a picture of us together?” Angry tears streamed down your cheeks, wetting your cheeks and blurring your eyesight, but you didn't care. “And why can't I remember?”

The redhead stared at you helplessly. His own eyes threatened to spill the tears that were welling up in them. It hurt George to see you like this and not know how to help you, and it hurt, even more, to know that he had spent the previous weeks believing you had moved on from him and that pretending you didn't know him was your way of getting him out of your life.

When actually you had been hurting all along. Your memories of him had been blocked. Erased. It hurt him to think about the possibility of those areas of your brain being sealed permanently, and it hurt him; like he was being burned alive.  

“I think someone cast the obliviate charm on you to make you forget about me,” George felt so dumb saying this theory out loud. A theory he didn’t even believe a few weeks ago.

“W–What?”

“When Fred mentioned it, I didn't believe it, but that's the only explanation.”

“Why would someone do that?”

“I’m not sure, Y/N/N. I–”

You halted him. “What did you just call me?”

“Sorry, force of habit.”

The boy looked down at you with a grin. He had made it his mission to distract you while you were studying.

A strand of your hair cascaded down your face, and he hastily tucked it behind your ear. It was a straightforward act. One he'd made a thousand times before, yet it still made you blush.

“Aw, are you blushing?” he teased.

“No, I’m not.”

“Does Y/N/N have a crush on me?”

He was the only one who called you that, not that you'd let anyone else. But you had grown on the nickname coming out of his mouth. You ignored his antics and proceeded with your study, but he reached in and softly took your hand in his.

“Admit it, you like me a lot.”

You raised your head from your task and returned his grin. “You're so sure of that, huh?”

He hummed in response.

“I don’t know, I think I like Fred more; he is, after all, the more good-looking twin.”

He exclaimed in mock offense. “You hurt me, love.”

You laughed at his antics. “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot.”

You rolled your eyes at the corny statement but smiled at him anyway.

You closed your eyes and cried out, and a sharp agony shook your brain. You grasped your head in an attempt to numb the pain.

“What’s wrong?” George rushed to your side, his voice worried. He checked you over and over again, looking for any signs of injury.

You take a few deep breaths in and out, trying to relax. You open your eyes to greet George's anxious brown ones when you feel the pain has subsided.

“I– I think I remember something.” It was meant to be a statement, but it came across as more of a question. “I’m not sure, I’m so confused.”

George softly grabbed your shoulder, attempting not to disturb or alter you further. "How about we go to the common room so you can sit?"

It was just now that he realized you were just wearing your pajamas and the temperature at the tower was really low.

You just nodded and let him lead the way.

“Are you alright?” He asked once in the safety of the Gryffindor common room. Because the rest of the school was on their weekly trip to Hogsmeade, you were the only ones there. Under other circumstances, George wouldn’t have missed the trip, this being one of the highlights of his week, but after everything that had happened between the two of you and despite Fred's persistence, he decided not to go.

“I don’t know what happened.”

“You said you remember something.” George knew better than this. He wasn’t a great student, but he had his share of knowledge and he knew if you really had been obliviated, you weren’t going to get your memories back just like that. But he couldn’t help but feel hopeful, and this was shown in both his face and his voice.

“I think so?” You weren’t sure you were able to explain what was what you just experienced. “It came in like a flash when you called me that.”

“Y/N/N?”

You nodded.

“What was it that you remember?”

“We were in the library,” you explained. “You were annoying me, not letting me do my homework.”

George cracked a faint smile. “Yeah, that sounds like me.”

Silence fell in the room. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't pleasant either. You couldn't think of anything more to say, and George was frightened of saying the wrong thing and pushing you away. Things had moved towards something positive between you in the last few hours and he didn't want to spoil it.

He had accepted the fact that you didn’t remember anything that had happened between the two of you, but you seemed somewhat receptive, and if you let him, he would narrate everything that had transpired between the two of you, down to the smallest detail. And, if he's lucky, you might fall in love with him again.

[fairyofsilence]

2. FORMING BONDS | OBSESSION SERIES |

Pairings: Yandere!Namjoon x Reader, Yandere!Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 6.7 K

This is part of the obsession series, you can find my main masterlist here.

Warnings (for this chapter): +18, stalking, anxiety, cursing, mentions of blackmailing, toxic relationships, mentions of murder, mentions of sex work, trauma bonding, childhood trauma is discussed, innapropiate therapist/patient relationship (your therapist should never discuss their private life with you), emotional cheating, recording of sexual acts without the persons knowladge, explicit sexual scenes; short sex scene, choking, mentions of aftercare, Jungkook is a voyeur.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment, please proceed with caution.

Summary:Your husband adores you and he would do anything for you, but little do you know, so will the man who's watching you from the shadows.

Taglist (for this series): @minshookie29, @multifandombishthatlovekth, @kimlineownsme, @marslena, @apriljoon, @investedreader, @darkuni63, @gotnothing-todo, @silversparkles11, @ksooed, @pineapplestemkth​ (If you like to be added, just comment under this post or send me an ask requesting to be added❤)

A/N: Hello, I know I’ve been gone since practically forever, and I’m really sorry about that, but I had a terrible writer’s block during the summer, I will just stare at my screen and hope for the words to come out of my head, but finally, I somehow managed to finish this chapter, I’m posting this while being half asleep so please ignore any mistakes, I’ll be editing this over the weekend and working on chapter 3, so please look foward for that, any type of feedback it’s appriciated by me btw, so don’t be shy hehe, I hope you have a good day and thank you for reading!❤

If you were to ask her about her job, Haneul would say that she wouldn’t consider it to be difficult at all.

It was perfect for someone like her, she was fresh out of college, it paid her enough to make ends meet every month and her boss was so incredibly kind and sweet to her, in the past year the both of you had grown closer than she would’ve expected, you were quick to put so much trust on her, you’ll always tell her how much you appreciated her work and praise her for how efficient she was, maybe that’s why Haneul always feels so bad when she must go behind your back and report to your husband of your daily activities at work.

She never meant to betray your trust like this, and she was almost a hundred percent sure that what she was doing its illegal, but when Kim Namjoon himself showed up to her apartment, bringing two suitcases filled with cash and promising to pay for her student debt, while also helping her move to a better side of town, she couldn’t help but to agree, this happened after her first week of working for you, she didn’t thought she’ll be staying for long, but then what started as an agreement became a reason to blackmail her, when she tried to break off their deal, he just dismissed her by telling her that if she tries to break off their arrangement he will leave her with even a worst debt than she was previously on, and that was all it took for Haneul to tuck her tail between her legs and keep on showing up to work, shame and guilt eating her up every day as you continue to see her as a good and hardworking girl only for her to turn around and do the most unethical things behind your back, but it was her life over yours, that’s how Haneul tries to console herself whenever she feels the guilt start to eat her up once more, you could start over, your husband can afford to buy you a new life if you wanted to, but Haneul? She had nothing, this job was all she had, and she’ll be damned if she ends up losing it, so with a heavy conscience and she picks up her phone and types out the message she desperately wishes she didn’t have to send, but nevertheless, she ends up doing it, and receives an answer far too quick for her own liking.

“From: Haneul

To: KNJ

First person scheduled for today cancelled, new patient just went in, I will send his file after Mrs. Kim is done for the day. Sent at 11:26 A.M”

“From: KNJ

To: Haneul

Keep a close look on him like we talked about, you know I hate it when she has male patients, I also want the footage from the security cameras from that session. Sent at 11:27 A.M”

Haneul often wonders what you could’ve done in your past life to deserve such a crazy man like your husband, but she always ends up without an answer, because she doesn’t think you could’ve done something so bad that would make you end up with a man like this, Haneul doesn’t think anyone deserves to end up with a man like Kim Namjoon as their husband.

“From: Haneul

To: KNJ

Yes sir, I’ll be keeping you updated. Sent at 11:28 A.M”

His last message sent shivers down her spine, if there was something that Kim Namjoon had done ever since they met, it was knowing exactly how to make her fear him.

“From: KNJ

To: Haneul

You better. Sent at 11:29 A.M”

Haneul gulps as she puts her phone down, turning the security cameras back on as she takes a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

Your husband has become the reason for her nightmares and yet you live blissfully unaware of his sick nature, as she types into her document, Haneul wonders if she’ll ever tell you about how much control over your life your husband actually has, but she also remembers that as long as she depends on you, there’s nothing she can do other than silently watch you living a lie next to the man who has trapped you into a false reality, she often wonders how would you react if the perfect world Namjoon has created for you suddenly crumbles, Haneul shakes her head and starts typing once more.

She doesn’t even want to think about the things your husband would do if that day ever comes.

Unironically enough, the answer to her question was currently inside your office.

Drumming his fingers along his thighs, Jungkook feels a drop of cold sweat forming on the right side of his forehead, dripping all the way to his jaw, he licks his lips as he silently watches you work just like he has done so many times in the past, but this time is different, instead of facing his large monitor in the shivering cold and darkness of his own room, Jungkook is looking directly at your face, paying very close attention at any minuscule action you made in the past couple of minutes, controlling himself to not open his mouth and drool at the mere sight of you, that wouldn’t make the good first impression he has planned for years now, there cannot be anything that can mess up his only opportunity to get close to you.

Jungkook has been waiting for this moment for so long he can’t believe it’s finally happening, he has already lost count of the number of times he had to stop himself from reaching out to touch you, to hold you closer to him, to finally have you all to himself, he’s been struggling to remind himself that you were not ready for that yet, but hopefully, that will change soon. You were exactly like he had expected you to be, for Jungkook, watching you was always a pleasing experience, he has learned your quirks and cute expressions from how long he has been watching you, but god, your mannerisms looked even more cute up close rather than on a far distance or from a pixeled screen, years of having to blend into the crowd for him to only get a small glimpse of you, and now he was getting a front row seat on what he would consider the most entertaining show of all time: Watching you live inside the perfect bubble your husband has created for you. You have no idea how much Jungkook is going to enjoy bursting that bubble for you.

Unaware of everything that’s going through his mind, you peered at Jungkook over your glasses, only to find that he was already looking at you, mischief written all over his face, and when you moved your eyes onto him he smiled a little wider, his cute nose scrunched and your heart beat a little too fast for your liking, you decided to return your attention to his chart, which seemed fairly empty, only his most basic medical information was shown and that made you come to the conclusion that this might be the first time he has gone to therapy, closing the metal folder, you put his chart in your lap and give him a reassuring smile, setting the timer on our smart watch to get your first session finally started.

“We’re officially starting our first session as it now Jungkook” You intervene your hands and tilt your head to the side while maintaining eye contact.

“First, I would like to remind you that everything you say in this and if you decide, our next sessions, are extremely confidential and I cannot speak about anything that we discuss in this room, the only time I am allowed to inform about our sessions to anyone else is if I, as your therapist consider that you could harm yourself or that you could put other people in danger, if you have shown up today is because you have read the email I sent you prior to this session, correct?” You reach to your small table next to the individual couch you’re currently sitting, grabbing a small notepad and a pen laying right beside you, Jungkook nods as you open the notepad and begin by writing his name beside today’s date.

“Yes Dr. Kim, I did read the email you sent to me” He also confirms vocally while watching you write his name, the furrow in between your brows making him smile for a moment, so cute, Jungkook thought.

“Perfect, thank you for answering, I hope you don’t mind reminding you that our first sessions might seem a bit slow but I believe it’s best to slowly built up our relationship as patient and therapist, I feel that it’s the best way for not making you feel as if you have to rush into talking about certain topics you’re still not ready to discuss with me, as your therapist I am fully aware how it must not be easy to trust someone so quickly, and I am willing to wait until you feel comfortable enough to talk about certain things” You return to make eye contact as you finish writing down the basics and Jungkook nods along everything you say, giving you a shy smile after your last words.

“That’s very kind of you Dr. Kim” His eyes are starting to look a bit glossy, and the sight of that makes you grip at your pen tightly, there have been countless of patients who have cried on their sessions, especially when it was their first time, why are his tears affecting you so much?

“You don’t have to thank me Jungkook, I’m only here to help you” You shot him a small polite smile and contain the biggest urge to reach out and grab his hand to reassure him, but he notices, the way your hand twitches the same way when you want to reach out for your husband’s hand, and Jungkook couldn’t be more thrilled about it, not believing how much he has affected you in such a short amount of time, this might be easier than what he initially thought. You ignore the sudden urge and continue with the session once more.

“We can start by you telling me the reason why you have decided to see a therapist, you don’t need to go into details if you don’t want, you can answer however you want.”

“I wanted to see a therapist because I think I’m ready to let my past behind me” Jungkook rubs his palms against his thighs and you can tell how nervous he is, you maintain a neutral expression as you write his answer down.

“Not letting your past rule over your present it’s not an easy thing to do, you’ve already done one of the hardest steps in a healing journey, which is accepting that you need to change in order to grow” Jungkook gives you another shy smile and you can’t help but to smile back at him, even though a small voice inside your head tells you that you shouldn’t be doing it but you couldn’t help it, he looks lost, even though you could see that he was physically strong, Jungkook seems to avoid getting the attention on himself, his clothes, his attitude and the way he carried himself told you that much, you don’t know what kind of urge was suddenly overflowing in you but all you knew was that you wanted, no, needed to help him at all cost.

“Can I- Could I start with my upbringing? Is that too much for our first session?” His timid tone it’s heartbreaking, and while it pangs your heart, you maintain a stoic expression and answer his question.

“You can start telling me with what you feel the most comfortable Jungkook, you can trust me on that” Jungkook nods to himself as he plays with his hands, he closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath before looking at you again, you make a motion with your hand to let him know you’re listening.

“My mother, she died when I was very young” His voice suddenly became a little bit more deep, and it send shivers down your spine.

“I’m very sorry to hear that Jungkook” He doesn’t seem to register your words as he focuses on the small table that separates the two of you, the topic seems to be rough on him, giving how deep in thought he seems to be, you try to make him come back to you by asking: “Could you tell me how old you were?” Jungkook’s attention returns to you after your question and the coldness in his previously sweet stare takes you aback for a second.

“I was 6” His answer makes you wish you didn’t ask but you know you must keep going regardless of your compassion towards him.

“Do you remember how it happened?, where you were when you received the news?” You write his previous answer and try to avoid eye contact to not show any emotion to what his next answer might be, but nothing can prepare you for what his next words are.

“I was the one who found her” His voice quivers and you quickly turn your head to look at him only to find him already staring at you, he doesn’t wait for an answer as he keeps talking: “She was murdered, it was client of hers, never knew who he was, she had a lot of clients so I never bother to remember any of their faces” Jungkook cuts eye contact to look over your office window, you couldn’t stop yourself from blurting a question after he was done talking.

“Clients?” You were confused and Jungkook realized his omission made you feel out of context, he quickly filled you into what he was talking about.

“My mother was a prostitute, I’m the son of one of her clients actually” You’re speechless after his confession, you know firsthand the effects of growing up knowing that your mother was a prostitute, and that you were a product of her job, but Jungkook not only had those issues, his mother was also taken from him at such a small age, your self-control seemed to be put to the test today, because you wanted to comfort him, to let him know he wasn’t alone with his pain, but you couldn’t do that without reveling things about yourself, and that was extremely unprofessional, you knew better than to cross those lines, but doing it once wouldn’t hurt, right? You pride yourself for being extremely sufficient with helping your patients to get better, wouldn’t this help Jungkook? It must if you had this immense urge to tell him, you weren’t being unprofessional, in fact, you were doing the right thing, weren’t you?

“You think that this event it’s what’s stopping you from getting better?”

“I don’t think, I know it is” Jungkook chuckles and crosses his arms while leaning back into the sofa, you raise an eyebrow as you put your hands in your stomach.

“How do you view me as a person Jungkook?” Your question seems to take him by surprise, but he responds after a moment.

“Professional, kind, hardworking” You let out a small smile at his short but sweet description of yourself.

“And if I told you that the person you just described when through similar things as you did, would you change your mind?” Jungkook looks at you even more confused than before so you decide to let him know the aspect of your life you’re not fond of speaking about it “Our mothers shared the same profession Jungkook” His pretty doe eyes are wide in shock and even his mouth opens a little bit, you can’t help but to giggle at his reaction and that seems to make him snap out of his brief state of shock.

There’s a small moment of silence before Jungkook speaks out again.

“How do you do it?” Jungkook ask in a hushed tone, if you weren’t playing close attention to him you probably wouldn’t have heard him.

“How do I do what?” You had a faint idea of what he was trying to say, but you wanted him to voice out his thoughts, for Jungkook to acknowledge what his fear is.

“How do you live with the shame of it? I feel like every  time I’m walking down the street, somehow people just know, and I can almost feel them judging me, even when I know that her actions weren’t my fault, I feel like I can’t open up with anyone because they wouldn’t understand and they would judge me because of this, I feel so ashamed all the time and I really don’t know how to make it stop” His confession cut deep into your heart as you felt deep within you each and every single one of his words, the resemblance between the two of you was becoming more prominent each time he revealed something about himself, and you couldn’t help but to project into him, you knew the struggle he was going through, better than anyone else, you could see it in his eyes, the desperation and the frustration on people judging you over something you had absolute no control over, your heart hurts for him and you feel the frustration building up in you, as you watch him patiently waiting for an answer from you, you decided that this was beyond just a professional relationship, he needed from you, Jungkook needed guidance, friendship, he needed everything you were willing to give him, and you intended to give him your all.

You lean forward as you maintain eye contact with him, he mirrors your actions as he plays with his fingers, impatiently waiting for what you are about to say.

“I don’t think that my answer it’s what you are expecting to hear” Hearing the truth sometimes does more damage than it helps, you know it well, Jungkook stops his movement all together and the words coming out of his mouth are not what you expected.

“I don’t want you to respond with something you don’t agree with just because it’s the professional thing to do, Dr. Kim, I want to hear your opinion from your own experience” Jungkook straightens his posture as he speaks and the look on his eyes it’s so intense it makes you cut eye contact and lean back into your chair; you don’t think your answer thoroughly before speaking again.

“The shame never leaves, you only learn how to live with it” You expected for Jungkook to blow up the way most of your patients do whenever they don’t receive the answer they were looking for, but he surprised you once more as he looks at you with hope in his beautiful brown eyes.

“Could you help me learn how to live with it, Dr. Kim?” He asks in a low timid tone, and you give him the brightest smile he’s ever seen on you.

“I would love to Jungkook.”

After being forced to practically become your shadow, Haneul has become more observant than she’s ever been before, she has come to notice even the smallest changes on you, and the main thing that set alarms going off inside her head was when not only you accompanied the new patient to the front door, but also how you hugged him and kept on having a small conversation until he finally left, her eyes open so wide to the point she thinks they’ll pop out of its sockets, Namjoon was going to kill her, on more than one occasion he has told her to not let you touch any patients, specifically male patients, and with him already being on the edge because of the new patient, there was no doubt that he was going to be furious about this when he sees the security camera footage, Haneul was in deep shit.

She was shaking by the moment you turned around to return to your office, briefly glancing at her only to stop when you realized just how pale she was, a frown between her brows and a lost look on her eyes told you that something must not be alright, so you carefully approached her until you were in front of her desk.

“Haneul? Is everything okay?” Your clueless question makes Haneul want to rip off her hair.

No, nothing is fucking okay because you can’t just do things like that without me getting my head chopped off, God, why can’t you just listen to your creepy husband for once?

Ignoring her less than friendly thoughts, Haneul takes several deep breaths to compose herself and shots you a sweet smile before answering.

“Everything’s fine Dr. Kim, please don’t worry about it” You seem to believe in her answer as you give her an acknowledging nod before making your way to your office once more.

It’s only after hearing you close the door that Haneul reaches out for her phone, searching with hurry Namjoon’s contact to let him know everything she just saw, she rewrites several times due to her shaky hands.

Haneul might have bad luck, but she considers herself lucky that she won’t be in the receiving end of your husband’s wrath. The mere thought makes the hairs on her arms to rise in fear, shaking her head as if that would take away her thoughts, she continues to write the text that would become the first of many. After working with you for almost a year, Haneul never would’ve thought that a pretty boy would be enough to lure you away from your devoted husband, but then again, you were only human, and she will never judge you for distancing yourself from a man like Namjoon, in fact, Haneul thinks, Jungkook becoming your patient might be for the best, if she only knew about Jungkook’s true intentions, she’ll probably fear him just as much as she fears the man who has left her on read. Haneul gulps as she watches the ‘typing’ text go on and off for a couple of minutes, preparing for the worst, but when she only receives an “Okay” from Namjoon, she realizes that the short cold answer scared her more than a lengthy angry paragraph would.

Haneul knew she shouldn’t had accepted this job so quickly; it seemed far too good to be true. As she stares at her disorganized desk, Haneul wonders how she could had gotten herself stuck in the middle of such a sick relationship when all she expected from this job was to get coffee and take phone calls. Haneul sighs tiredly as she reaches out for her coffee mug.

If only she had listened to her old-fashioned mother who wanted to set her up to become a housewife, she would’ve saved herself the trouble she was currently in. What was previously a thought she dreaded has now become something she longed for.

The only thing that keeps Haneul from going insane it’s pretending that this was just a bad nightmare, that she would wake up and that everything will be alright, but Haneul really doesn’t know how much she can’t play pretend anymore.

Maybe she should book an appointment with you, but judging by your last interaction with a patient, she doesn’t think you’ll stay in business for long, not that your husband would allow it at least.

Being with Jungkook always left you longing for more.

Quickly after your second session the same week after the first one, you realized one hour a day simply wasn’t going to be enough for you.

It started innocent enough, going to a café and walking together in the park, the place never mattered to you, it was spending time with him that made you happy, although you did try to limit yourself to only spend one hour with him without being inside your office, just two people who’ve been through the same shitty struggles and finding comfort within each other.

But your problem started when you stopped limiting yourself.

You started to tell yourself that one hour simply wasn’t enough, and that it wouldn’t hurt to spend more time with him, so one hour turned into two, then it turned into three, and before you knew it you were cancelling appointments for the sake of spending more time with him, a man who wasn’t your husband, a man who understood and comforted you in a way no one had ever been able to do before, not your best friend, and not even the love of your life, but him. Jungkook has quickly made his way into your heart due to his gentleness, how he carefully listens to everything you have to say, the way he brushes off your tears whenever your emotions get the best of you, the way his hand lingers until it finally reaches over to hold yours, it would be shocking if you didn’t end up growing fond of him after spending so much time with him, and while a small voice inside your head kept on whispering how wrong this was, how you were somehow betraying the trust your adoring husband has put on you, you always chose to ignore it, focusing on what Jungkook needed instead. Your husband will understand, he always does, it’s why you love him so much, he would be understanding when you tell him how sweet Jungkook is, how you guys just hit it off so well that it almost seemed like you’ve had known each other forever.

The problem is, you never mention any of this to Namjoon, in fact, you can’t even remember the last time you had a proper conversation with him, the realization and the guilt hits you like a truck, but you brush it off as you grip your coffee cup a little harder, focusing back to Jungkook’s voice as he tells you about the latest videogame release he was looking forward to, his excitement putting your mind at ease,  Jungkook notices the sad look in your eyes, but he also notices the way it fades after you look at him, and he can’t help but to smile as he relishes on the fact that he’s making you put your husband as a second priority, making you forget who was supposed to be the only man in your life.

He smiles proudly as he looks at you, the adoring look on your eyes tells him that you would be ready for him in no time, all he needs to do now it’s sit back, and watch your marriage crumble right before your eyes without you even noticing it.

Namjoon notices everything about you.

He notices when you’re about to get sick and takes care of you before it can escalate, he notices that when your period is about to begin you cry onto his chest because you don’t want him to leave the bed, he notices when you’re feeling sad but don’t want to bother him with your feelings, always there for you to hold you into his chest and let the world keep going while you hide into his warm embrace.

But Namjoon hasn’t been able to notice any of this in the past few weeks, all because you spend day and night out with that boy.

He was furious when he saw the camera footage from the first session you had, the two of you just seemed way to invested on each other, but when you came home that day, you were smiling from ear to ear, and when he asked you about how your day went, you simply responded with “One of the best days I’ve had in a while”, and his chest hurt when he realized you weren’t talking about him.

He’s been trying to put a little more trust on you, you seemed to be fond of this kid for some reason and it was cute enough at first, but you got attached way to quickly in his opinion.

He knows that you started to see him outside of work, and that was enough to put him on the edge, but he decided to test you, see how far you’ll go just to spend time with him, and Namjoon took quite a hit once he realized just how invested you seemed to be on this patient of yours.

He felt as if he was dying whenever the private investigator came back to him with a folder full of pictures of the two of you, eating, laughing, and crying together, hugging each other with such an intensity that could even be capture in a photo, Namjoon couldn’t believe that he was watching his wife slip out of his arms so easily, and the worst thing was, he felt like there was nothing he could do other than to watch her pull away from him, the misery of her putting him aside for someone she hasn’t even known for so long.

Everything came crashing down tonight, as he got off from work to come home earlier than usual, wanting to surprise you with the largest bouquet he’s ever given you before, you’ll come back to your senses and the kid would have to back off, everything would return to normal and you were going to be okay, because your marriage is that strong.

But Namjoon was not welcomed by your sweet smile and loving embrace, he was greeted by a cold and empty home, with his wife spending a Friday night out with another man, a day that has been solely dedicated for him, and Namjoon just snaps.

Trashing the bouquet against the wall, he angrily makes his way to his home office and closes the door with a loud bang.

Ever since meeting that boy, you started to get more distracted at work with your other patients, you have not answered any of your friends worried text about your wellbeing with something that wasn’t “I’m busy”, you have barely look at him ever since that stupid kid came into your office, he doesn’t know what he has done to you, but you almost seemed bewitched by him, Namjoon knew you were a caring person, he knew that you always gave your best to all of your patients, but even your friends have realized that this was different, and you not showing up tonight was the final push that made him take the harsh route, he never likes to hurt you, but he would rather for you to suffer now and get over it quickly than for you to get more attached to that boy, he has to end this sudden infuriation of yours, and he must do it now.

You come home late again tonight.

When you opened the door to your home, you were surprised to find the lights in an extremely low setting, to be fair, it was already past midnight, but whenever you get home late, Namjoon always waits for you in the living room, glasses on with a book in his hand and his comfy clothes on, it’s a cute sight to be welcomed home but now it’s nowhere to be seen, there’s only some flowers spread out in the floor, making a complete mess in the living room, confused and taken aback by this, you leave your purse and coat on the hanger and make your way upstairs to find where your husband might be.

He wouldn’t be asleep, he never likes to go to bed without you, he’s definitely not in your bedroom, but when you look over his office door, you see that the lights are on due to the small space between the door and the floor, you then make your way to his office, not bothering to knock as you just open the door, but the sight that greets you makes you shiver.

Namjoon rarely drinks.

He’s never been a big fan of alcohol, you can count with only one hand the rare occasions that you’ve seen him drinking, he often said he didn’t saw the point of getting drunk, so therefor it was only natural that he stayed away from any types of alcohol, so to find him like this, with a drink on his hand while a half empty bottle that had only served as decoration before is on his desk, you can’t help but to feel worried, you quickly made your way to his side and stare down at him as he continues to focus on the drink in his hand.

“Namjoon?” You tried to gain his attention by talking to him and you can’t help but to frown when he ignores you “Honey are you alright?” Namjoon smirks and takes a deep breath before setting his glass next to the bottle on his desk, he turns to look at you and you can’t help but to feel worried as you take a good look on your husbands face for the first time in weeks, and the first thing you notice is how his entire body screams exhaustion, Namjoon looks tired, it hurts to see him like this, you wrap your arms around him whilst sitting on his lap, he quickly welcomes your embrace and buries his face onto your neck, taking a long, deep breath as his hands rub your back, your heart feels heavy once you realized that you haven’t hugged him like this in a while, and it hurts even more when you realize it’s all your fault.

“What’s wrong baby?” You run your fingers through his hair, and he lets a dry chuckle after your question, he pulls his head out of your neck and looks at you for a moment before he speaks.

“How was your day darling?” Normally, you would be thrilled to answer his question, but the tone in which he was asking you this now made you frown, he sounded sarcastic, and Namjoon has never spoken to you like this before.

“What do you mean?” You try to play innocent as you realize that his question has a double meaning, he raises an eyebrow and one of his hands reaches your hip, which he grips on tightly while he maintains eye contact with you, the angry look on his eyes makes you gulp unvoluntary.

“What day is it?” The lack of a term of endearment, and his unexpected question takes you by surprise, what could he possibly mean by that?

You don’t answer right away, but after thinking just for a moment you came to the realization that today is Friday, and you weren’t home to receive your husband at the front door.

Namjoon waits patiently for your answer, and you feel horrible when you realize just how much you’ve been neglecting your husband for the sake of spending time with one of your patients.

“Oh, Namjoon, baby I’m sorry” He’s so mad but he can’t be angry at you for too long, especially not now when you’re looking at him with tears in your eyes, he places a hand on your cheek, and you greedily accept his affection towards you.

“I’m not mad at you love, I’m just confused, and a little hurt if I’m being honest” He’s being anything but honest right now, if you weren’t so invested in that boy he would’ve already killed him with his bare hands “Why are you spending so much time with your patient darling? What’s going on?” His voice cracks and the guilt has finally catch up with you, tears roll down your face as you place one of your hands on the back of his neck.

“I just- I really don’t know” Your tears are enough to make him fold, he brushes off your tears and gives you a small smile before talking.

“You know it’s wrong now, do you?” You feel like a child as you nod “And you know that whatever kind of friendship you have with this patient needs to stop, don’t you love?” It takes you a little bit more time than with his last question, but you end up nodding your head anyway, Namjoon smiles wider after you answer and pats your cheek, which makes you giggle.

“I’m really sorry…” You try to apologize again but he doesn’t let you, interrupting you with several quick pecks that make you laugh, and when he stops you can see that he’s smiling too.

“It’s okay love, besides” Namjoon gives you a wicked smile as his hand makes it’s way to your crotch “You know you can make it up to me in different ways”

You should’ve known you wouldn’t even make it to the bedroom, Namjoon wasn’t exactly patient when it came down to have his way with you, so it really didn’t surprise you that you were currently being fucked in the hallway, a small piece of furniture was the only thing that was keeping you away from falling into the ground, your pants were discarded somewhere in Namjoon’s office, you were both still practically clothed but he was a men on a mission, and his mission was to show you just how much he had missed you this past couple of weeks.

His soft hands grip tightly onto your hips as you claw your nails onto his back, Namjoon hisses and starts thrusting even harder, making you moan even louder, he buries his face into your neck to place sloppy kisses as you reach out to take one of his hands away from your waist and placing it on your neck, Namjoon lets out a deep growl at your actions.

“You couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t you my love?” Namjoon says into your ear “Always have to be a good little whore for me” He presses down onto your neck, and it only takes a couple of more thrust for you to be on the edge of an orgasm.

Namjoon knows your body like the back of his hand, and when your bottom lip starts to quiver and your legs begin to shake, he knows you’re about to come, so he keeps on thrusting hard and fast until you climax, holding onto his shoulders for dear life until he reaches his own, he puts his head on your chest as you’re both panting, taking a moment after such an intense orgasm and you can’t help but to let a small out of breath laugh when you think how ridiculous you must look right now, Namjoon chuckles and leaves several kisses on your chest before reaching out to your neck and then your lips, giving you a sweet peck before his hands reach for the back of your tights and picks you up easily as you giggle.

“Let’s go take a bath, huh?” Namjoon says before placing a kiss on your forehead, you nod as you cuddle into his chest, carrying you in his arms, he makes his way into your bedroom, having a small conversation as he walks, and you’re both blissfully unaware of the small red blinking dot coming from the end of the hallway.

Jungkook leans back into his chair as he stares into his screen, he has done this countless of times before, the closes way he’s ever had to be somewhat intimate with you, but after these last couple of weeks, Jungkook knows that’s about to change soon, his plan has been successful so far, he only needs a little more time so he can finally have you by his side, so he can finally call you his.

He exits the security camera as he watches you and Namjoon leave the frame, Jungkook looks down at his hand as he smiles and takes a deep breath after such an intense orgasm, he reaches out for a box of tissues he keeps on his desk for this occasions, as he cleans himself up, Jungkook can’t help but to think about how beautiful you looked when you were so lost in pleasure, he wonders if you would let him do the same things you let your husband do.

It's fine if you don’t, Jungkook thinks, he’ll just have so much fun breaking you down until you submit to him that it won’t matter if you let him or not.

He’s going to have you, regardless if you agree or not.

<previous | next>

[nothorses]

Interview With An Ex-Radfem

exradfem is an anonymous Tumblr user who identifies as transmasculine, and previously spent time in radical feminist communities. They have offered their insight into those communities using their own experiences and memories as a firsthand resource.

Background

I was raised in an incredibly fundamentalist religion, and so was predisposed to falling for cult rhetoric. Naturally, I was kicked out for being a lesbian. I was taken in by the queer community, particularly the trans community, and I got back on my feet- somehow. I had a large group of queer friends, and loved it. I fully went in on being the Best Trans Ally Possible, and constantly tried to be a part of activism and discourse.

Unfortunately, I was undersocialized, undereducated, and overenthusiastic. I didn't fully understand queer or gender theory. In my world, when my parents told me my sexuality was a choice and I wasn't born that way, they were absolutely being homophobic. I understood that no one should care if it's a choice or not, but it was still incredibly, vitally important to me that I was born that way.

On top of that, I already had an intense distrust of men bred by a lot of trauma. That distrust bred a lot of gender essentialism that I couldn't pull out of the gender binary. I felt like it was fundamentally true that men were the problem, and that women were inherently more trustworthy. And I really didn't know where nonbinary people fit in.

Then I got sucked down the ace exclusionist pipeline; the way the arguments were framed made sense to my really surface-level, liberal view of politics. This had me primed to exclude people –– to feel like only those that had been oppressed exactly like me were my community.

Then I realized I was attracted to my nonbinary friend. I immediately felt super guilty that I was seeing them as a woman. I started doing some googling (helped along by ace exclusionists on Tumblr) and found the lesfem community, which is basically radfem “lite”: lesbians who are "only same sex attracted". This made sense to me, and it made me feel so much less guilty for being attracted to my friend; it was packaged as "this is just our inherent, biological desire that is completely uncontrollable". It didn't challenge my status quo, it made me feel less guilty about being a lesbian, and it allowed me to have a "biological" reason for rejecting men.

I don't know how much dysphoria was playing into this, and it's something I will probably never know; all of this is just piecing together jumbled memories and trying to connect dots. I know at the time I couldn't connect to this trans narrative of "feeling like a woman". I couldn't understand what trans women were feeling. This briefly made me question whether I was nonbinary, but radfem ideas had already started seeping into my head and I'm sure I was using them to repress that dysphoria. That's all I can remember.

The lesfem community seeded gender critical ideas and larger radfem princples, including gender socialization, gender as completely meaningless, oppression as based on sex, and lesbian separatism. It made so much innate sense to me, and I didn't realize that was because I was conditioned by the far right from the moment of my birth. Of course women were just a biological class obligated to raise children: that is how I always saw myself, and I always wanted to escape it.

I tried to stay in the realms of TIRF (Trans-Inclusive Radical Feminist) and "gender critical" spaces, because I couldn't take the vitriol on so many TERF blogs. It took so long for me to get to the point where I began seeing open and unveiled transphobia, and I had already read so much and bought into so much of it that I thought that I could just ignore those parts.

In that sense, it was absolutely a pipeline for me. I thought I could find a "middle ground", where I could "center women" without being transphobic.

Slowly, I realized that the transphobia was just more and more disgustingly pervasive. Some of the trans men and butch women I looked up to left the groups, and it was mostly just a bunch of nasty people left. So I left.

After two years offline, I started to recognize I was never going to be a healthy person without dealing with my dysphoria, and I made my way back onto Tumblr over the pandemic. I have realized I'm trans, and so much of this makes so much more sense now. I now see how I was basically using gender essentialism to repress my identity and keep myself in the closet, how it was genuinely weaponized by TERFs to keep me there, and how the ace exclusionist movement primed me into accepting lesbian separatism- and, finally, radical feminism.

The Interview

You mentioned the lesfem community, gender criticals, and TIRFs, which I haven't heard about before- would you mind elaborating on what those are, and what kinds of beliefs they hold?

I think the lesfem community is recruitment for lesbians into the TERF community. Everything is very sanitized and "reasonable", and there's an effort not to say anything bad about trans women. The main focus was that lesbian = homosexual female, and you can't be attracted to gender, because you can't know someone's gender before knowing them; only their sex.

It seemed logical at the time, thinking about sex as something impermeable and gender as internal identity. The most talk about trans women I saw initially was just in reference to the cotton ceiling, how sexual orientation is a permanent and unchangeable reality. Otherwise, the focus was homophobia. This appealed to me, as I was really clinging to the "born this way" narrative.

This ended up being a gateway to two split camps - TIRFs and gender crits.

I definitely liked to read TIRF stuff, mostly because I didn't like the idea of radical feminism having to be transphobic. But TIRFs think that misogyny is all down to hatred of femininity, and they use that as a basis to be able to say trans women are "just as" oppressed.

Gender criticals really fought out against this, and pushed the idea that gender is fake, and misogyny is just sex-based oppression based on reproductive issues. They believe that the source of misogyny is the "male need to control the source of reproduction"- which is what finally made me think I had found the "source" of my confusion. That's why I ended up in gender critical circles instead of TIRF circles.

I'm glad, honestly, because the mask-off transphobia is what made me finally see the light. I wouldn't have seen that in TIRF communities.

I believed this in-between idea, that misogyny was "sex-based oppression" and that transphobia was also real and horrible, but only based on transition, and therefore a completely different thing. I felt that this was the "nuanced" position to take.

The lesfem community also used the fact that a lot of lesbians have partners who transition, still stay with their lesbian partners, and see themselves as lesbian- and that a lot of trans men still see themselves as lesbians. That idea is very taboo and talked down in liberal queer spaces, and I had some vague feelings about it that made me angry, too. I really appreciated the frank talk of what I felt were my own taboo experiences.

I think gender critical ideology also really exploited my own dysphoria. There was a lot of talk about how "almost all butches have dysphoria and just don't talk about it", and that made me feel so much less alone and was, genuinely, a big relief to me that I "didn't have to be trans".

Lesfeminism is essentially lesbian separatism dressed up as sex education. Lesfems believe that genitals exist in two separate categories, and that not being attracted to penises is what defines lesbians. This is used to tell cis lesbians, "dont feel bad as a lesbian if you're attracted to trans men", and that they shouldn’t feel "guilty" for not being attracted to trans women. They believe that lesbianism is not defined as being attracted to women, it is defined as not being attracted to men; which is a root idea in lesbian separatism as well.

Lesfems also believe that attraction to anything other than explicit genitals is a fetish: if you're attracted to flat chests, facial hair, low voices, etc., but don't care if that person has a penis or not, you're bisexual with a fetish for masculine attributes. Essentially, they believe the “-sexual” suffix refers to the “sex” that you are assigned at birth, rather than your attraction: “homosexual” refers to two people of the same sex, etc. This was part of their pushback to the ace community, too.

I think they exploited the issues of trans men and actively ignored trans women intentionally, as a way of avoiding the “TERF” label. Pronouns were respected, and they espoused a constant stream of "trans women are women, trans men are men (but biology still exists and dictates sexual orientation)" to maintain face.

They would only be openly transmisogynistic in more private, radfem-only spaces.

For a while, I didn’t think that TERFs were real. I had read and agreed with the ideology of these "reasonable" people who others labeled as TERFs, so I felt like maybe it really was a strawman that didn't exist. I think that really helped suck me in.

It sounds from what you said like radical feminism works as a kind of funnel system, with "lesfem" being one gateway leading in, and "TIRF" and "gender crit" being branches that lesfem specifically funnels into- with TERFs at the end of the funnel. Does that sound accurate?

I think that's a great description actually!

When I was growing up, I had to go to meetings to learn how to "best spread the word of god". It was brainwashing 101: start off by building a relationship, find a common ground. Do not tell them what you really believe. Use confusing language and cute innuendos to "draw them in". Prey on their emotions by having long exhausting sermons, using music and peer pressure to manipulate them into making a commitment to the church, then BAM- hit them with the weird shit.

Obviously I am paraphrasing, but this was framed as a necessary evil to not "freak out" the outsiders.

I started to see that same talk in gender critical circles: I remember seeing something to the effect of, "lesfem and gender crit spaces exist to cleanse you of the gender ideology so you can later understand the 'real' danger of it", which really freaked me out; I realized I was in a cult again.

I definitely think it's intentional. I think they got these ideas from evangelical Christianity, and they actively use it to spread it online and target young lesbians and transmascs. And I think gender critical butch spaces are there to draw in young transmascs who hate everything about femininity and womanhood, and lesfem spaces are there to spread the idea that trans women exist as a threat to lesbianism.

Do you know if they view TIRFs a similar way- as essentially prepping people for TERF indoctrination?

Yes and no.

I've seen lots of in-fighting about TIRFs; most TERFs see them as a detriment, worse than the "TRAs" themselves. I've also definitely seen it posed as "baby's first radfeminism". A lot of TIRFs are trans women, at least from what I've seen on Tumblr, and therefore are not accepted or liked by radfems. To be completely honest, I don't think they're liked by anyone. They just hate men.

TIRFs are almost another breed altogether; I don't know if they have ties to lesfems at all, but I do think they might've spearheaded the online ace exclusionist discourse. I think a lot of them also swallowed radfem ideology without knowing what it was, and parrot it without thinking too hard about how it contradicts with other ideas they have.

The difference is TIRFs exist. They're real people with a bizarre, contradictory ideology. The lesfem community, on the other hand, is a completely manufactured "community" of crypto-terfs designed specifically to indoctrinate people into TERF ideology.

Part of my interest in TIRFs here is that they seem to have a heavy hand in the way transmascs are treated by the trans community, and if you're right that they were a big part of ace exclusionism too they've had a huge impact on queer discourse as a whole for some time. It seems likely that Baeddels came out of that movement too.

Yes, there’s a lot of overlap. The more digging I did, the more I found that it's a smaller circle running the show than it seems. TIRFs really do a lot of legwork in peddling the ideology to outer queer community, who tend to see it as generic feminism.

TERFs joke a lot about how non-radfems will repost or reblog from TERFs, adding "op is a TERF”. They're very gleeful when people accept their ideology with the mask on. They think it means these people are close to fully learning the "truth", and they see it as further evidence they have the truth the world is hiding. I think it's important to speak out against radical feminism in general, because they’re right; their ideology does seep out into the queer community.

Do you think there's any "good" radical feminism?

No. It sees women as the ultimate victim, rather than seeing gender as a tool to oppress different people differently. Radical feminism will always see men as the problem, and it is always going to do harm to men of color, gay men, trans men, disabled men, etc.

Women aren't a coherent class, and radfems are very panicked about that fact; they think it's going to be the end of us all. But what's wrong with that? That's like freaking out that white isn't a coherent group. It reveals more about you.

It's kind of the root of all exclusionism, the more I think about it, isn't it? Just freaking out that some group isn't going to be exclusive anymore.

Radical feminists believe that women are inherently better than men.

For TIRFs, it's gender essentialism. For TERFs, its bio essentialism. Both systems are fundamentally broken, and will always hurt the groups most at risk. Centering women and misogyny above all else erases the root causes of bigotry and oppression, and it erases the intersections of race and class. The idea that women are always fundamentally less threatening is very white and privileged.

It also ignores how cis women benefit from gender norms just as cis men do, and how cis men suffer from gender roles as well. It’s a system of control where gender non-conformity is a punishable offense.

[k-s-morgan]

Hello, may I know your thoughts on the headcanon that the chesapeake ripper kills were always somehow a romantic overture for someone he was currently wooing? That hannibal needs inspiration by the form of someone he’s currently interested in to have the desire to make his displays? This hc bothers me because i always assumed the wooing aspect of his kills is something only Will inspired in him. Like… i just don’t enjoy the thought that hannibal felt deeply enough for another person to want to make artistic tableau’s for them. I always thought that previously it was only for his own private amusement/satisfaction and he never really had a specific audience in mind when making them. Or really expected anyone to understand his kills or appreciate them… that is until he met will graham.

Hi! Funnily, this is the first time I heard about this headcanon, even though I've been in this fandom for many years. I disagree with it completely, but of course, if people like it, it's fine. Things like this are called headcanons for a reason, and I don't think this one goes against the show, at least not directly.

As for my thoughts, I agree with your take 100%. Will is unique in every way for Hannibal: the first person whose understanding Hannibal craves, the first person he falls in love with. He might have had infatuations in his life (like his aunt, if this part of the books is true for the show), but they never grew into love.

Hannibal wants an equal, and from his words to Bedelia, he rarely considered that he wants one before meeting Will. Bedelia reinforces that Hannibal wants someone worthy, too, and her words show that she's not aware of Hannibal having any significant love interests before:

Hannibal: For the first time in a long while I see a possibility of friendship.

...

Bedelia: [You want] someone worthy of your friendship.

The word “worthy” rings true for Hannibal. She can see it.

Hannibal: Yes.

Bedelia: You spend a lot of time building walls, Hannibal. It’s natural to want to see if anyone is clever enough to climb over them.

I assume that for Hannibal to want to woo someone, he'd have to consider this person worthy of his attention. From his own admission, he hasn't met such person in a long while. The Ripper has been killing pretty consistently, so at least some of the kills weren't inspired by anyone.

Hannibal is ready to die for Will. He destroys his life and reputation for Will; he sacrifices his freedom, the thing he values most, and nothing demonstrates that he ever did anything remotely like this for someone. Alana has known him for a very long time and she only mentioned that he had an affair at some point. She never indicates that Hannibal had a long-term relationship or interest in someone, and from Hannibal's reactions, he's discovered this genuinely loving, obsessed side of himself only after meeting Will because he seems to be on the path of self-discovery.

We also have Will's profile of the Ripper, and he never voices an idea that the victims are a gift to someone.

Will: [Such death is] reward for undignified behavior. These dissections are to disgrace them. It’s a public shaming.

Hannibal: Takes their organs away because in his mind they don’t deserve them?

Will: In some way.

Technically, Will could be wrong, but nothing in the show indicates it. We also have Pazzi watching Hannibal draw Primavera over and over again, clearly getting inspired by it and then killing his victims in the same way, Ripper-style. No indication of this being a result of his infatuation with someone.

The Ripper is just one of many personas of Hannibal. The show focuses on it because these kills are always a performance, so they are state-level famous. We know Hannibal keeps killing people all the time, just under other names, so to me, the Ripper is his way of indulging himself. He's theatrical, he loves beauty, and his whole philosophy is built on "eat the rude" as well as "My own modest actions pale beside those of God." The Ripper is the persona he chose for expressing these sentiments openly. I don't think any specific people inspired him or that the victims were a courting gift - he was just being himself by murdering them the way he did, and he couldn't do it often because he didn't want for attention to him to escalate. It was a rare treat he allowed himself, especially when he wanted to organize a feast.

[ingravinoveritas]

Girlll, I had to come to you for this nonsense... I know you'll appreciate it lol This is regarding the new picture of David and Georgia in LA: I saw someone say they ""love"" Georgia's 'David' tattoo and they ""love"" that she tries to show it off in every picture.... like huh???? is it just me or is that not weird??? That tattoo has always given me the vibe that it's like a subliminal "the boy is mine" message LOL like babe, we get it, he's your husband. I don't need to see your weird branding to know that David comes home with you at the end of the night... I figured, ugh, marriage would have been enough but apparently not lmao I mean, Iisten, I'm kinda bias. I've always kinda thought spouse/partner name tattoos were tacky, no matter how long you've been dating or married or together because you ever know what's gonna happen and usually they don't look good either. And I guess if it makes her happy, fine, but I just feel like the spot she got it in is so deliberate; the outside of the wrist rather than the inside so everrryyyone can see it. Come on now... If it really was for her because she loves the man and *gag* always wants his name with her or whatever corny ass reason you get a tattoo like that, why wouldn't she put it somewhere she could always see it? or in a spot where it's maybe more private? And you know what I just thought of, the font is big and bold too, not even like delicately done, which makes it even worse and makes me double down on the thought that she only got it just so other people would see it and know he's "hers" Realistically, the only way I'd give it a pass is if David was a filthy Mf'er and told her it would be hot to tattoo his name on her 🤷🏻‍♀️ other than that, it's kinda screaming an insecure "he's mine" but that's just me. (Does anyone know when she got the tattoo? Early on or after they were married? I'd google it myself but my god, I can't devote anymore energy to this eyesore 😂) Cheers babes xo

Hey Anon! I do appreciate you coming to me with this, as I was actually talking about this very subject with a few other people this week who shared similar sentiments. So you are not at all alone in feeling as you do about Georgia’s tattoo/her showing it off.

That was actually one of the things that stood out to me most about the pictures Georgia posted (other than the obvious, a.k.a. David’s beauty, of course). The very deliberate angle at which the picture was taken and how she held her hand, to display the tattoo of his name:

One of the things that is worth noting is how this all started, because from what I know, Georgia got the tattoo before they were even married. The reports I’ve come across indicate that she got it in the Spring of 2010, which is only months after they first began dating.

Like you, Anon, I have no problem with Georgia having the tattoo if it’s because it makes her happy or if David made the suggestion (which I very highly doubt). But the fact that she got this tattoo so early on in the relationship really does seem like a red flag to me--a need to stake her “claim,” as it were, as if being pregnant with his child and then subsequently married to him wasn’t enough.

So when I think about the circumstances around it, it seems like the tattoo is not really about him--it’s about her. I’ve written previously about my hypothetical head canon of David and Michael having complementary tattoos, but the way I see tattoos like that is them each having a piece of something that, when put together, make up a larger whole. Something where neither half is fully realized without the other. That’s the kind of “couple” tattoo I can get behind--something specific to the people in the relationship, that doesn’t need to be put in a conspicuous place for public consumption, because it is private, and special.

It’s also interesting to me that when we think about the possibility that Georgia is in a competition of sorts with Michael for David’s affections, that she as his “favourite” wife has to keep making these bids for attention in various ways, whereas Michael...doesn’t. I’ve talked about Michael being possessive of David, but with Michael, his being possessive is about David and wanting to protect him...whereas with Georgia, her being possessive is about her, and wanting to protect her standing and position as his wife.

(The post above is just one of several examples of this, and Georgia most notably made a similarly possessive post the night of the NTAs last year. Even though all anyone was talking about was Michael and David...)

Relationships are complicated, of course (which is why it’s probably not a good idea to get your significant other’s name tattooed in the first place, but I digress...). I understand why it would be easy to see Georgia deliberately flashing her tattoo as her “showing how much she loves David.” But we also have to remember that, by her own words/admission, Georgia stalked David into a relationship in the first place. I realize there could be sarcasm that I am missing, but after a while, some “jokes” start to seem more like the truth in disguise. And that coupled with the tattoo just makes you see things a bit differently.

(Also, I can’t help but wondering what our perception would be if the sexes were reversed--if a man got a tattoo of a woman’s name barely a month into dating and pushed a woman into a relationship. Would we be okay with that? And if not, why is it seemingly acceptable for Georgia to do it?)

Anyway, those are about all my thoughts on the subject. I think you are pretty spot-on in your assessment, Anon, and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to share it with me. Thanks for writing in! x

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

Merlin has been gone for two years, Arthur has a meeting with the Lord Emrys to help with the changing laws:

And he has never bitterly regretted sending Merlin away more

Part 2(final part)

Angst,

SO

I'm gonna say... about 6 months before Uther dies, Merlin's magic is revealed to Arthur.

He really does NOT react well.

Arthur doesn't let Merlin get a word of explanation in, before he hits him on the head so hard he's unconscious before he even hits the floor.

When Merlin wakes up, what he can only assume is MUCH later, he's wearing cold iron shackles, he's been blindfolded, and gagged.

He just listens at first, still dazed and certainly concussed.

After about twenty minutes he's more aware, and realises... he's outside, in a forest, and he's on his own.

~

It’s been two years since Arthur abandoned Merlin in the woods beyond Camelot’s border.

He’s been King now for about a year and a half.

He went back three days later and tracked Merlin for a few hours, before coming to the conclusion that he'd gotten away safely, and heading back to Camelot.

He always tried to justify it to himself as protecting Merlin from Uther, ignoring the fact that Merlin had managed just fine on his own for years.

But really that was just an excuse. All he saw in the moment was a liar and a traitor. Really he should've had Merlin executed so... he's still a good person. He did the right thing.

He hadn't told anyone else the truth (perhaps because he knows they would hate him for it). Instead he told them that he and Merlin had argued, and before Arthur could get to the bottom of why his manservant was so irate, he stormed off in the middle of the night, and told him he wasn't coming back.

He stuck to that story the whole two years, though he's fairly certain they at least suspect he's lying. Gaius definitely does.

I imagine Gaius, only a few days after Merlin's disappearance, taking Arthur aside one night, and demanding to know if Merlin was dead. If Arthur had killed him:

"No! No of course not. He... we had a fight. It's like I said. He left in the night and told me not to follow him, that he wasn't coming back. I plan to respect his wishes."

Gaius releases the bruising grip he'd had on Arthur’s arm and takes a step back, his expression unreadable as he stares at the Prince.

"I...why would think I killed him?"

"Despite the fact that he most certainly could've defended himself against you, I always found it troubling how willing he was to let you execute him, should that be what you wanted."

Arthur has no reply to that, what would he even say? Would Merlin really have willingly walked to a pyre? If Arthur had only asked?

Gaius goes to walk away at that, but just before he shuts the door behind him, he pauses, and without looking back, says:

"If I find out you have killed my son, Sire, for who he is, there will... there is a large group of people who would see that justice is served. Myself included."

Everyone notices the change in the relationship between Gaius and Arthur since Merlin had left.

Arthur, with the knowledge that Gaius knows. Knows the truth and had guessed what he'd done. He couldn't face that.

They barely spoke to each other, Arthur avoided the physician wherever possible and words of encouragement and kindness were no longer aimed his way from the gentle old man.

His relationships with the others deteriorated as well.

They either thought he was telling the truth, and resented him for both being cruel to Merlin, and letting him go so easily.

(After years of Arthur treating Merlin terribly, no one is really surprised that Merlin had decided he'd had enough and left.)

OR they thought he was lying, hiding something, and resented him for not telling them the truth, and potentially doing something unforgivable to Merlin.

All but Gwaine are still polite to him, showing him the due respect of a Prince, and then a King, but not of a friend.

After a series of hijinks, Arthur comes to the terrifying realisation that magic isn't all bad.

Really I think, he's known all along. But admitting that magic wasn't pure evil made what he did to Merlin even more unforgivable.

He begins making moves to legalise it. It's slow and difficult, and he meets resistance at every turn.

BUT he also has the surprising support of Gaius, and his knights, and Gwen, and Morgana.

Still, none of them treat him like a friend, not the way they used to, but they're helping him along the way. He hadn't realised how many people close to him opposed the ban, until he started dismantling it.

Hope rises in him, over the months, as he realises that once he's legalised magic, he can find Merlin, and bring him back. The first place he'll check is Ealdor.

He's... scared of that. Scared that he won't be able to find him, but more scared that he will. That Merlin will hate him. That Merlin won't care that he's repealing the ban and won't want to come back.

Arthur doesn't think he could bare that.

Mostly because he knows that it would be entirely his own fault.

After the ban is finally lifted, there are huge celebrations. If the King is seen to be searching the crowds, as if for a familiar face, no one mentions it.

A few days later, a group of Druids come for an audience with the King, and are met by Arthur in the courtyard.

After quick introductions, and pleasantries, the leader begins to speak:

"Once and Future King, I first want to extend my gratitude for this warm welcome, and promise that you have the Druid's full support in lifting the ban. We hope for a peaceful future, full of cooperation and compassion."

Arthur nods and smiles slightly at that, but before he can reply in anyway, the Druid speaks again:

"Our leader, the leader of all Druids and all magic of the world, would like to convene with you, and discuss the specifics of any future agreements between our two worlds."

Arthur is surprised at that, but hides it well. Leader of... all magic? Sounds... powerful:

"Of course, I readily accept. They may bring themselves forth, I will make time for a meeting whenever they so choose."

"Your majesty, My Lord Emrys already awaits you in the throne room-"

(The Druid smiles at Arthur's barely concealed shock at his words, both at the idea that someone had snuck into his castle undetected, and at the mention of Emrys. One of the the few conversations he'd had with Gaius had been an in-depth explanation of who Emrys was, and his and Arthur's destiny (the physician had failed, of course, to mention Emrys' true identity.)) 

The Druid continues gently:

"-He's not one for public appearances."

"I.... of course. Will you and your group be attending? Or would you like to be shown to your rooms immediately?"

"This is a matter to be discussed privately, between the two of you, My Lord. Myself and my group have a camp just beyond the city walls that we will return to. Thank you for the offer of hospitality, we appreciate the kindness greatly."

With that, the Druid gives another short bow before turning and leaving through the castle gates, his group following closely behind him.

Arthur takes a deep breath, briefly glancing at Sir Leon, who stands at his side, and instructing him to inform the council that any remaining meetings for the day had been cancelled.

Leon gives a stiff nod and stalks off. He had been the best at hiding his disdain for his former best friend, but it still shone through occasionally, and Arthur's heart clenches as he thinks that he really can blame no one but himself for the deterioration of everything in his personal life.

With another deep breath, he re-enters the castle, and heads towards the throne room, trying to psyche himself up for meeting the supposed Leader of All Magic, who had managed to sneak his way into the heart of the castle, without anyone noticing or raising the alarm.

He pauses briefly outside the doors, and instructs the guards to not let Anyone in, without the King's express permission.

They nod, and with that, Arthur opens the doors and enters, shutting them quietly, before turning around to be faced with a near empty throne room.

He furrows his brow as his eyes settle on a single man, his back to Arthur where he stands gazing out a window, onto the courtyard below.

Arthur can't see his face, he can't see much of him to be honest, he's shrouded in a floor length blue cloak, hood up and covering his head.

The King stares only for a moment before raising himself to his full height, clearing his throat, and speaking:

"Lord Emrys? It's my honour to welcome you to Camelot. Thank you for coming."

The man turns his head slightly at that, though not enough for Arthur to see any more of his face.

"Your honour?-"

He huffs a small laugh at that, though it sounds dry and sarcastic, as opposed to genuinely humoured.

"- we shall see about that."

His voice comes out strangely, obviously magically altered, and Arthur has to stop himself from gulping at the many voices echoing around the otherwise empty room.

They sound sort of... familiar? But he pushes that feeling down and takes yet another deep breath:

"Of course. I've been told a great deal about you. That you have always been an ally to Camelot, and have protected both me personally, and the Kingdom, from the shadows, never asking for credit or requesting recognition. I thank you for that, my gratitude knows no bounds. You had no reason to protect a kingdom that previously would have seen you burn, though I swear to you, that is not how things work now."

Emrys let's out a chuckle at that, this one somehow even less humoured than the last

He gives a small nod, before saying, almost to himself, though Arthur hears anyway:

"Yes, we shall see."

His voice is no longer disguised, and Arthur once again pushes down the feeling of recognition blooming in his chest. He's sure he knows that voice.

("It sounds like.... no. It isn't. Stop hearing things that aren't there. You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak." runs through his head.)

Arthur is unsure how to continue the conversation from there, but before he has to force some sort of response out, Emrys finally turns, and lowers his hood.

Arthur takes a step back and gasps, his eyes wide.

Merlin's hard eyes stare back at him, his expression completely blank. He looks very different, but is still recognisable as Arthur's former manservant.

"...Merlin?" Escapes Arthur's mouth, so quietly he can barely hear it himself

At this, Emrys let's out a deep sigh, sounding almost resigned, as he cocks an eyebrow and replies:

"No one's called me that in two and a half years. You know, I used to hate the idea of people calling me Emrys instead of Merlin. Now, I find that I feel the exact opposite.-"

He tilts his head slightly, looking briefly puzzled as he maintains eye contact and mumbles:

“-Or perhaps it’s just you.”

At this Arthur gulps, and really looks at Merlin... or Emrys.

He's bulked out a little, no longer skinny and sickly looking, he fills his clothes (good quality, blues and silvers and blacks, intricate patterns and fitting well) in a way he never had before. His hair has grown out long and curls around his ears. His beard has grown in a little.

(Think, the living and the dead) :

His hands, which now have druid markings tattooed all over (they're also just about visible above his collar, though they don't go very far up his neck) , are clasped tightly in front of him, his fingers adorned with a couple of rings.

Nothing he wears looks especially expensive, Merlin had never been one to dress up, but they are good quality, and screamed "Druid" and "powerful".

"You're Emrys? Why did you never say??"

Merli-... Emrys tenses his jaw at that, his face showing slight anger as opposed to the boredom it displayed before, but before he can answer, the gang bursts in all at once.

Arthur can hear the guards yelling over the top of the door banging against the wall, and the footsteps of eight people rushing into the room.

"I tried to stop them sire but they wouldn't- Merlin??" From Leon has Arthur letting out a frustrated growl.

The King sweeps his eyes over the rest of the group as they all stare in surprise at Merlin.

Gaius is the only one who doesn't look surprised, he is instead smiling, and steps forward to offer Merlin a hug, which he accepts with no resistance as a small smile graces his face.

Merlin speaks quietly, but everyone can hear him:

"It's good to see you Gaius. I've missed you. When this is all sorted I've got so many things to tell you, to show you."

Gaius pulls back and grins even wider,

"All in time, dear boy. You're looking very well. I'm glad you've finally revealed yourself as the Lord Emrys."

Merlin blushes slightly at that and looks down:

"I haven't gone by the name Merlin in almost three years Gaius, Camelot has been the only place to not know me."

Merlin steps back, and glances quickly at the others, before settling his gaze on Arthur, who is looking a little like an animal caught in a trap. Merlin's eyes harden once again, and he schools his face back into disinterest and boredom:

"As I was about to say before, My King, I didn't get a chance to explain myself to you before I awoke, shackled and blinded and cold, with a rather nasty head wound, in the middle of a forest. And quite frankly, after that, I wasn't prepared to stumble my way back to Camelot and try for a second time. Though perhaps I should be grateful you simply knocked me out and dumped me, as opposed to burning me?"

Arthur looks to be in physical pain, but doesn't look away from Merlin, not even as the others gasp and mutter and stare and glare at him.

"Shackled? You.... I knew you were lying you monster. How could you?!" From Morgana is the first thing loud enough to be heard.

It's Gwaine who speaks next, but Arthur still doesn't look away from Merlin:

"You bastard. What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He goes to draw his sword and step towards the King, but Elyan holds him back:

"No, Gwaine. It isn't our place. This is Merlin's fight, and he knows we all stand with him."

At that, Merlin finally looks away, an ever so slight smile escapes as Elyan nods to him, and becomes the first of the group to move to stand behind Merlin, facing the king. The others follow shortly after.

They stand in a group just behind him, the fury rolling off them in waves.

Morgana steps forward and takes one of Merlin's hands in her own. Staring Arthur down, she speaks, her eyes flash gold as a sharp wind whips through the throne room. No windows or doors have been left open:

"Would you have done the same to me, brother-mine? Would you have beaten me and shackled me and left me in a forest to rot?"

Arthur steps back in complete shock, the group behind her and Merlin are also shocked, but take it in their stride.

Merlin squeezes her hand in a silent "I'm sorry, I'm with you, I'll teach you, you're safe."

Arthur doesn't really have the words at this point. He's speechless and in shock and almost crying.

He had always known that his first meeting with Merlin would be difficult, but he wasn't expecting everyone who had ever been important to him to be there as well, stood opposite him, hating him.

The wind dies down as Gwen places a hand on the other woman's shoulder from behind. Merlin looks towards Morgana first, and offers a comforting smile to her teary face, before looking behind him to the others.

"As much as I appreciate the support, and as much as I love, and have missed you all, I think me and the King need to have a private meeting on the matter. Personal problems aside, I need to see to the continued safety of my people."

It’s quiet, reserved Percival, who speaks up:

"Like hell are we leaving you with him now we know what he did." The others nod at this, but Merlin replies gently:

"I'll be fine, I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. Go, I'll find you later."

At this, he turns once more to Morgana:

"There is a group of Druids camped just beyond the city walls, go to them, take Gaius. They will help you until this is all resolved, and then I can teach you myself." he says with a smile, and at her nod, he glances at Gaius, who steps forward and leads Morgana out the room, closely followed by a hesitating gaggle of knights.

Gwen is the only one who remains, as she takes Merlin’s hand briefly in Morgana’s place, and snarls at Arthur:

"Monster."

-before following the others out of the room, and shutting the door behind her, leaving the throne room once again empty of people, bar the Forever King and the Immortal One.

Merlin speaks first, looking back to Arthur, unwavering and determined:

"How do I know this is all real? The change in laws?"

"I... what? What do you mean real? Of course it's real. Merlin please, can we just-"

Merlin turns away as he interrupts him, and walks back towards the window, to look upon the courtyard, where countless innocents had been slaughtered:

"Pretending to change the laws so you can lure my people to your city, before starting another purge, sounds like exactly something Uther's son would do. I will not put my people in danger by encouraging them to come here, before I can be sure they are truly safe from the Pendragon line."

Arthur's heart breaks even more. He really had damaged the relationship between himself and Merlin more than he ever could've imagined. Merlin had seemed to make it his life goal to assure Arthur that he wasn't his father, that he could follow his own path and create his own legacy. Before Arthur had ruined everything.

"I would never. The law is changed. Sorcer- your people, are safe. Merlin will you please-"

Merlin turns and interrupts again, looking Arthur directly in the eyes, obviously not prepared to let the conversation turn personal.

"Promises made to beings of magic are... powerful. There is magic in words, swear to me that my people are safe from persecution, and I will believe it."

"I...yes. I swear it. People with magic will no longer be unfairly persecuted in this kingdom as long as I am king, I swear it, in the name of Camelot."

Merlin’s eyes flash gold, and Arthur feels as though the words he's just spoken have been branded onto his soul. In a way, they have.

Merlin looks once more out of the window, and replies quietly, but darkly:

"I will hold you to that, Arthur Pendragon."

~

THE END!

This two-parter has been finished!!

As per usual, I only write drafts, so if someone wants to write this up all proper, then go for it, credit and tag me✌

[madara-fate]

If Kishimoto really wants people to believe that Sasuke loves Sakura and that they have such a good marriage then he's doing a piss poor job at it. You don't see people arguing if Minato loved Kushina or not or if Dan loved Tsunade or not. You don't. The fact that there are so many people arguing whether Sasuke loves Sakura or not, and many people believing he doesn't is just proof that Kishimoto failed somewhere or else there wouldn't be this much controversy surrounding this matter. It's either Kishimoto implying Sasuke does not love her, either Kishimoto intending to portray his idea of a good realtionship/loving husband through SS and failing miserably. Sasuke did not look happy when he saw Sakura in Gaiden first time after 10 years of absence. He couldn't even bother to send a letter to her and Sarada to let them know he was alright and thinking about them during this period. And no, please don't come at me with that bullshit excuse that he didn't keep in contact because he wanted to keep the secrecy of his mission and did not want any private information to leak and that's why he was only keeping in contact with the Hokage or whatever. No one says that if he ever bothered to write them he had to go into details about his mission. He could've just told them he's alright, that he misses them and hopes they're fine and that would've been great too and wouldn't have compromised his mission in any way. The man has space time abilities for fuck's sake. He could've easily teleported to see them and then go back to his business. In my opinion Kishimoto wrote SS in this ambiguous way to appease both the SS haters and the SS shippers. He knew SS fans were going to be happy with whatever he threw at them even if it was the absolute bottom of the barrel and he knew the antis were gonna have a good time using Gaiden to further tear the ship apart. This man is either terrible at writing romance either a huge troll who enjoys pitying his readers against each other. Or maybe both. And I assure you, I don't even hate SS, despite what I have written so far, nor do I ship something else. And Sasuke is also my favorite character. I'm indifferent to this pairing and maybe that's why I can have a more objective opinion on it than its shippers or its haters since I'm not biased due to personal feelings of either distaste or love for it. SS can be seen in both a good and a bad light, but to be honest the balance is more inclined towards the bad light.

This is just more of the stuff that I've heard plenty of times before. I'll firstly preface this by saying that I'm very highly critical of Gaiden because it included pointless drama for the sake of pointless drama. It's execution was horrendous to say the least, but I'll always still appreciate the message that Kishi was trying to relay. However, I will always take issue with those who defend the notion that Sasuke doesn't love Sakura. Hence, the following.

You don't see people arguing if Minato loved Kushina or not or if Dan loved Tsunade or not. You don't. The fact that there are so many people arguing whether Sasuke loves Sakura or not, and many people believing he doesn't is just proof that Kishimoto failed somewhere or else there wouldn't be this much controversy surrounding this matter.

Minato wasn't drowning in hatred due to a supernatural phenomenon which cause him to push away love in favour of the darkness. Dan wasn't made to undertake a preposterously long mission while intending to keep everything about it confidential. Why on earth do people think they can just compare any random relationships to SS's and go "well look at this couple! Why couldn't SS have been more like them?". Well here's your answer - Because their situations were nothing alike. But why do people constantly believe that those relationships are the only models for what a loving relationship can be? The struggles that Sasuke and Sakura faced during Gaiden were not due to issues with each other, but rather, they were shown facing hurdles which they overcame together. They were perfectly happy with each other, and not once did their dedication to one another ever falter during Sasuke's mission. Just because the couple faced hard times does not mean their bond is any weaker. On the contrary, the fact they they faced those hard times together and came out of them just as strong if not stronger than before, is a testament to the strength of the relationship.

You wanna know what I don't see? I don't see people questioning Neji and Hinata's relationship despite Neji trying to kill her during the Chuunin Exams. I don't see people questioning Hiashi's feelings towards Hinata despite essentially disowning her because he deemed her to be a failure. I don't see people questioning Gaara being the Kazekage despite him previously being feared as a killing machine who slaughtered many innocent people, by the very same villagers who now respect him as their leader. I don't see people questioning why Kabuto was trusted to become the head of the Orphanage and taking care of the future of the village, despite being a notorious war criminal. No, but of course people will question SS right? Despite them just being another example of the same theme.

It's either Kishimoto implying Sasuke does not love her, either Kishimoto intending to portray his idea of a good relationship/loving husband through SS and failing miserably.

Kishi flat out said, that the love between the Uchiha family is the real deal. He's not implying anything, and if he truly failed at depicting this, then SS wouldn't have consistently proven to be the most popular canonised pairing for years following the manga's ending.

Sasuke did not look happy when he saw Sakura in Gaiden first time after 10 years of absence.

And you think that's indicative that he doesn't love her? Are you serious? The entire time, Sasuke was very clearly shown to be aggravated because people who weren't supposed to be at his and Naruto's secret meeting place kept showing up. He didn't look happy when first meeting Naruto either, despite not seeing him for just as long. So what? You think that means he doesn't care about Naruto either? He was aggravated that Sarada was there because she was supposed to be in the village safe from all this, he was annoyed with Naruto for allowing the kids to follow him in the first place, and yeah, he didn't jump for joy when seeing Sakura because again, she was meant to be watching over Sarada in the village. One of the biggest incentives for his secrecy was to keep Sarada safe, and everything that was happening then, was the opposite of that.

He couldn't even bother to send a letter to her and Sarada to let them know he was alright and thinking about them during this period. And no, please don't come at me with that bullshit excuse that he didn't keep in contact because he wanted to keep the secrecy of his mission and did not want any private information to leak and that's why he was only keeping in contact with the Hokage or whatever. No one says that if he ever bothered to write them he had to go into details about his mission. He could've just told them he's alright, that he misses them and hopes they're fine and that would've been great too and wouldn't have compromised his mission in any way.

You can call it a "bullshit excuse" all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that this is the reason that was given. But it's like people just refuse to acknowledge the fact that Sasuke admitted that he had made a big mistake, and refused to allow Sakura to apologise because he knew that he was the one at fault:

I mean what? Do people think that Sasuke has to be perfect or something? Is he not a human who makes mistakes just like everyone else? Sasuke knew that he took his secrecy too far, he hadn't anticipated the adverse affects his absence would have on Sarada, and he apologised for his mistake. Why? Because he cares, for goodness sake it's not hard to comprehend. I seriously would have never thought that people would actually question whether or not he loves his family. Why would Kishi promote a loveless marriage in his manga aimed at young boys? It just boggles the mind. If Sasuke didn't care about them, he wouldn't have thought he did anything wrong by his lack of contact with his daughter. I emphasise with his daughter because Sakura was still somewhat in contact with Sasuke as she was kept informed of what he was doing.

In my opinion Kishimoto wrote SS in this ambiguous way to appease both the SS haters and the SS shippers.

Why would Kishi care about appeasing the same fans who harassed him so badly following the manga's conclusion, that his editior had to respond in broken English and basically tell those entitled children that the story doesn't belong to them? I'll reiterate that there's nothing "ambiguous" about their relationship, nor is Kishi implying anything. Gaiden made it crystal clear, that the love between the Uchiha family is the real deal, there's nothing ambiguous about that statement, there's nothing ambiguous about Sasuke giving Sakura the forehead poke, and there's nothing ambiguous about Sasuke flat out clarifying that his heart is connected to Sakura's.

[nichelleyoung]

LEGAL NAME: Nichelle Amani Young

NICKNAMES: Nichi, Chelly, Niche

DOB/AGE: October 30, 1989 / 35

GENDER: Cis Female

PRONOUNS: She/Her

SEXUAL ID: Romantic Heterosexual

HEIGHT: 5′3″

PHYSIQUE: Slim/Slender

BIRTHPLACE: San Diego, CA

NATIONALITY: American

ETHNICITY: Unknown; Black American & White

OCCUPATION: Freelance photographer

LANGUAGES: fluent in English, knows some Spanish from school

GLASSES/CONTACTS: Both but mostly uses contacts TATTOOS/PIERCINGS: 3 piercings, 1 in each ear + 1 septum ring; 3 tattoos, 1 inner right wrist (Scorpio symbol), 1 left ankle (Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas), 1 lower back (lotus flower)

ALLERGIES: Pet dander

OTHER HEALTH ISSUES/DISORDERS: Claustrophobia & agoraphobia

ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Scorpio

CHINESE ZODIAC: Snake

HOGWARTS HOUSE: Ravenclaw

FAITH/RELIGION/PHILOSOPHY: Spiritual

POSITIVE TRAITS (3): Kind, easygoing, trustworthy NEUTRAL TRAITS (3): Introverted, quirky, curious

NEGATIVE TRAITS (3): Morbid, jealous, weak-willed

PET(S): N/A

HOBBIES & ACTIVITIES: Listening to audiobooks Watching TV, Movies & YouTube Drawing/sketching Art, particularly tattoo artistry & animation styles Listening to music Bicycling Fooling around on photo editing programs

LIKES/FAVORITES: color– Purple, silver & black foods/cuisine– Pizza or sushi movie genres– Gothic fantasy, fantasy, sci-fi, comic book, mystery & some thrillers flower– Gladiolus snacks– Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos, Pringles, or pineapple slices music genres– Rock, alternative, metal, acoustic, 90s hip-hop and R&B season– Autumn & Winter book genre– Mysteries, comics, manga and graphic novels animal– Fennec fox candy– Just about anything with chocolate quote– “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.” –Robert Frost

[abandonment tw, claustrophobia tw, agoraphobia tw]

Nichelle was abandoned shortly after birth; to this day, she does not know who her birth parents are/were. Due to infertility issues, the parents she has sought children of their own by other means and fostered-to-adopt Nichelle as an infant, officially adopting her by the time she was 1 year old. Prior to adopting her, she had been known as ‘Baby Amani’; her parents legally named her Nichelle Amani Young.

Her father is a famed, beloved and long time Hollywood actor with TV, film, producing and a few directing roles under his belt. Following an incident with the paparazzi and hyped up fans, Nichelle was diagnosed with claustrophobia and agoraphobia. Controlled crowds make her uneasy, and being in crowed spaces for too long, or close by to large numbers of people for too long result in her having severe panic attacks. Additionally, being in small/tight spaces tend to make her feel crowded, unable to escape and often result in panic attacks and meltdowns.

Following the incident and her diagnosis, her family discussed and ultimately agreed that, going forward, she would only attend private or the highly important events and screenings with her dad/her family. Nichelle also opted to distance herself, physically, from the immediate and regular limelight by moving out of Tinseltown and to San Francisco–a city she’s loved and adored for more than half of her life.

While she carries disdain and some bitterness toward the paparazzi, she has always had a love and appreciation for the art of photography and the storytelling that can come with it. That love became a passion, which led to her career choice. She had worked for a few photography studios, gaining more experience and knowledge under her belt before branching out to become a freelance photographer. Occasionally, she contracts with local businesses, media/magazine companies, and agencies in need of photographers for sporting events or modeling gigs. Her more steady bookings, however, have been weddings, pregnancy, baby & family, holidays and other special occasion shoots.

Nichelle was previously in 1 serious relationship that led to a brief marriage. She filed for divorce after 2 years from her opportunistic, cruel and self-serving ex-husband, during which she learned she was also pregnant. Their divorce was finalized before she gave birth to a baby boy, whom she was granted full custody of; her ex only has visitation rights at this time. Thankfully, her opportunity-seeking ex-husband was denied the alimony he sought, believing that Nichelle would be loaded due to her parent's fame and wealth (both of whom had the good sense to withdraw her trust when she became engaged).

There had been times in her life–particularly in her early adult years–where she thought heavily about her birth parents. She considered seeking them out, just to find out more about them and whether or not they were even alive still, but on top of a very public divorce + the incident wherein she’d been swarmed by the paparazzi and feared for her safety scared her into doing any investigating without drawing more attention to herself or her family.

[theangryjikooker]

I'm just a JK fan who appreciate his bond with every member and I'm not into shipping anymore, especially shipping real human beings and making up dream scenerios about them. I have a good reason for that. Previously I used to ship celebs and in all cases, none turned out to be what I expected. Some were never real, just PR. And some who were real, but were nothing like I imagined. An example: I used to ship Robert and Kristen and thought they had this amazing beautiful romance because they looked so in love on camera and even behind the scenes. I was shocked to the core when it was revealed that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with the director of Snow White.. and some years later came out as a lesbian. It taught me one thing: We. Know. Nothing. It does not matter if it's behind the scenes, candid and what appears to be sneak peak into private moments.. we.know.nothing. We will never know the context, we will always create our own context and we will be dead wrong. Because we don't know the reality.

As mentioned I enjoy the sweet moments between the boys. But I am not going to assume anything about celebs ever again. I can appreciate without being intrusive, aussumptive and delushional.

Your blog was so refreshing among all those "They are 100% real and married, and all members and everything revolves around this ship. RM and Suga have nothing better to do in their life but give hints to ships, and even after knowing each other for 8 years, every single touch and gaze is some great meaningful romantic geusture and not just the boys being comfortable with each other. Lol! Even if anyone was real, I highly doubt every single geusture is romantic. Imagine if someone did this to us and our real life partners.."

Thanks for your kind words, anon, and also for sharing your perspective!

I personally don’t mind the practice of speculating because at least with Jikook, neither of them have openly condemned the practice, and neither of them have confirmed being in a relationship with other people. I’ve said this before, but as soon as they do (if they are, in fact, with other people) I’ll no longer ship them out of respect for them and their partners, but I’ll still enjoy their friendship.

Or if they pull a Taehyung, I’ll probably just stay on Twitter and continue to retweet things with them but will no longer participate in speculation about their closeness, etc. It’s why I don’t actively ship Taehyung with anyone because of what he’s said before. Taejin is actually my favorite satellite pair, but I will never talk about anything going on with Tae and the rest of the members because he’s previously been outspoken about shipping.

And I know there are others who are probably like, Why bother shipping them at all then? since there are those who believe that shipping is inherently disrespectful. I can see where they’re coming from, but I do genuinely enjoy Jikook’s connection to the point that I feel like they sometimes raise questions regarding the extent of their closeness. At least that’s what it looks like. As long as I’m not disparaging them or trying to claim they’re factually Together when I’m in no position to make those claims, then it’s no harm, no foul.