#i already saw alfred TOO MUCH during the scenes and then this one scene happened and GOD

[kingslionheart]

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. That's why bad things happen to me. It is about the sins of my father. And my sins.

[kitaychan]

29, 14 and 10 for the asks? :)

10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I think I wasn't expecting Nerium Oleander to get too much interest because of the rating and the collection of mature tags it has 🤔🤔 so it's been a nice surprise

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Probably White flame, since the whole world building there revolves around magic and nature, I think it would be pretty

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Oof I think I have a bunch of cut scenes from Nerium Oleander but those might see the light later, so...

There's this "alternative ending" for Not a talker but a stalker (it's not really an ending but I thought it was too informative so I cut it off)

Heads up for some heavy topics though, since that fic is not happy at all and it would be set after the actual ending I left (kinda) a character deaths is mentioned as well as the aftermath of it, which is pessimistic to saya the least.

The knocking on the door didn't stop and the beating of Yao's heart never resumed. When the door was torn open two men dragged him away, into the hallway as a bunch of strangers stared at him in awe, some even dared to peek inside only to walk away quickly, whispering and averting their gaze.

The police were called and he was restrained after the bleeding was stopped, damn Alfred and his useless attempt at killing him.

Ivan couldn’t comprehend what had happened, he never saw Alfred around Yao and the blonde's words were contradictory. Yao’s room was filled with the camera flashes again. Not even in death was he allowed to have some privacy.

Ivan had been questioned, mocked and insulted in the short span of time of an hour, his head plagued with a headache. Alfred was a ghost, the police claimed there was no cameraman Alfred in any records. The man in the room didn't have an ID and no one seemed to recognize him even when his face was all over the news.

Ivan was thrown into a spiral of legal procedures and mediatic harassment. Some people -his family- believed he wasn’t capable of such a thing, for others Alfred was a collateral victim, a secret lover of Yao that he in his obsessive behavior had killed out of jealousy.

During the search, they also found a broken lamp, and a mess of blood. Ivan had been searched, looking for bruises, scratches or cuts, anything to prove he was guilty of attacking him. There was plenty of evidence, everyone deemed him as the killer.

It didn't matter, guilt was all Ivan could feel for a while, guilt at not helping Yao in that alleyway, guilt for not understanding his pleas of help, guilt for letting him at the mercy of that man, and guilt for not driving faster.

He had witnessed everything and just as the people in that nightclub, the guardian by the gate and the neighbors, he did nothing. They all stayed away and let the wolf slaughter the lamb. He was late, arriving when Yao's existence had already been wiped away and all that was left was his dead body to pick up. How fitting, he had always been a vulture.

We are the same. Alfred's words were like a broken record on his mind. He was guilty. He had killed Yao. He had killed him the moment he lay sight on him, vultures circle around the injured, around the rotten and agonizing. Ivan had merely sped up Yao's death by looming around him, he put a red sign for Alfred to notice. They weren't the same, Alfred was hunting, a symbiotic relationship is what he seeked of him. You point the weak while I go down to feast, even if Ivan had followed Alfred, he'd end up the same, caged. Stuck in a cell where the silence was unbearable and the shadows would take Yao's form to torture him. He knew there was an answer to his predicament, something that could take him from this limbo and end his suffering but Ivan was a coward. He could not gather enough will to kill himself or rather he didn't want to grant Alfred his wish.  They weren't together after all, but Ivan didn't feel alive either. Is this what Yao felt? Is this why after all those years he was calling him, why he kept his number? We were doomed from the start. Every once in a while, the magazines and newspapers would shine their lights towards a certain individual, a nobody, whom by luck or the lack of it, would end up tangled in the web of a scandal. Today was Ivan's turn. Tomorrow, who knew?

Also fun fact but even when I liked the whole predator pray theme here I couldn't take it seriously after I used symbiotic relationship because my mind would think about Venom 😅😅

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

It Was an Accident....

Whumptober 2021: #17. Field Care 101, #18. The Doctor Is In, #19. Stabbing, #21. Blood Matted Hair

Fandom: Batman, Batfam, Damian Wayne

Word Count: 1718

TW: accidental violence against a 10-year-old

“Help! Please, somebody help!”

Jason just happened to be passing by the open entrance to the Batcave when he heard his youngest brother’s desperate cries floating up the stairs. The sound stopped him dead in his tracks as a cold chill ran down his spine. Damian may still be just a kid, but he tried so hard to make everyone else forget that fact. He hid behind his patronizing snarky attitude and never let others see his vulnerable side. So, if his sobbing pleas were any indication, something must be terribly, terribly wrong…

Tearing down the stairs of the Batcave, Jason stumbled to a halt when he saw what had caused the commotion. Damian was kneeling on the training mat, tears streaming down his face, grasping his twin’s hand for dear life. A katana towered over her tiny form, one end protruding from her stomach and the other end pinning her to the floor. Even from this distance, Jason could hear her ragged gasps as she struggled to catch her breath. He was by her side in seconds, noticing a second katana laying discarded just out of reach of her hand. Damian looked up at him, his face twisted in anguish, “We were practicing. She was supposed to block my advance, but an alarm went off and she became distracted. Todd…. Please help her.”

Jason opened his mouth but flinched as he looked down to see his sister weakly grasping his fingers. “Not Dami’s fault…. I should have- have paid attention.”

Jason squeezed her hand back, trying to muster up a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. It was an accident. It was nobody’s fault. But don’t worry, we’ll get you fixed up real soon.”

He gently pulled his hand out of her clutches and hurled himself at the intercom on the wall. He wanted to remain calm for both of the twins’ sakes, but the sight of his sister’s tiny body lying in a growing pool of her own blood was too much for him. Slamming down the button, Jason frantically screamed, “We need emergency medical assistance in the cave! Dick! Alfred!..... BRUCE! Get your asses down here now!”

Dick materialized next to him in seconds. He knew if Jason called for Bruce’s help, something dire had to have happened. And it appeared his assumption was not wrong. As he tried to grasp the scene before him, Dick’s gaze rapidly shifted from his sister to Damian to Jason back to his sister to the sword embedded in her stomach to his sister again, each change of focus leaving him gaping like a fish out of water.

Alfred arrived next. He had seen many terrible things both during his time in the military and since Master Bruce had started his nightly crusade, but the sight of the pale, wheezing form of his beloved ten-year-old charge laying at his feet was one of the worst. Without a word, he knelt down and began examining the wound around the blade. Checking her pulse, he was relieved to find it strong, if slightly irregular.

A flutter of a cape announced Bruce’s arrival. He had just been preparing to go join Tim on patrol, so he was currently in his batsuit minus the cowl. He immediately fell to his knees next to his daughter, his face pinched in a pained grimace. He began stroking her hair where it was splayed haphazardly across the mat.

Damian tried to explain what had happened. “Father, it was an accident. We were just sparing like we always do but she looked away for a moment. I did not –”

“Not now Damian.” Bruce coldly snapped as he refused to look at the trembling boy.

Damian’s already teary eyes grew wide at this harsh rebuff and Dick pulled him into a hug. For once, Damian didn’t resist. “It’s okay. He’s just scared. He didn’t mean it.” Dick murmured into his hair, but Damian remained stiff in his arms.

Glancing up, the young girl once again managed a soft, “Father…. It’s not Dami’s fault… Don’t blame him.”

Bruce just nodded at her slightly, lips pressed into a firm, hard line. Looking up at Alfred, he asked, “Well?”

“We’ll have to carry her to the medical facility before I can do anything. However, the sword seems to be pinning her to the floor so it will have to be removed before we can transfer her.”

All the boys immediately blanched at the idea of being the one to remove the sword, a fact that did not escape Alfred’s notice. With a sigh, he took charge of the situation. “This has to be done as quickly as possible since there is a good chance she will begin to bleed profusely once we remove the blade. Master Jason, go to the other room and get all my supplies set up.” Jason grunted and hurried off to do as he was told.

Alfred picked up the towel that was lying next to the mat and tossed it to Dick. “Master Dick, when I pull the blade out, I need you to press this into the wound as quickly and as tightly as possible.” Dick nodded, biting his lip slightly as he stepped away from Damian and moved closer to his sister.

“Master Bruce, as soon as she is no longer trapped, you need to carry her as quickly but as carefully as possible over to the medical facility.” Bruce began to say something, but one stern look from the butler shut him up quickly. Damian noticed that he had not been given a job to do so he just silently moved out of the way as his family prepared to try to fix his mistake.

As everyone got into position, Bruce soothingly whispered to his daughter, “Okay, my little one. I am sorry, but this next part is going to hurt. I need you to stay as still as you possibly can.”

She gazed up at her father through half-lidded eyes, “S’okay …. It doesn't hurt anymore….” Bruce and Dick exchanged worried glances but silently prepared themselves.

On the count of three, Alfred pulled the sword from the girl’s stomach in one swift, fluid motion. Her body spasmed as her agony-filled scream echoed throughout the cave. Dick slammed the towel into the wound as a fountain of blood sprayed into the air. In seconds, she was a moaning, shaking mess in Bruce’s arms as he bolted to the medical facility.

Damian slowly sunk to his knees on the bloody mat. Each one of his sister’s screams or sobs from the other room was like a physical punch to the gut. He had done this to her, accidently or not. He was the cause of her suffering. She was the one person who had been by his side every day of his life. She was the one person who truly knew everything he had endured both with the League of Shadows and with the Bats. She was the one person he could trust without hesitation, and yet he had done this to her.

As another wail tore through him, Damian folded over until his head was pressed firmly against the mat, not caring as her blood soaked into his hair. He pressed his hands tightly over his ears attempting to drown out her cries and the frantic voices of their family as they tried desperately to save her. It did little to block the sounds and he was soon rocking back and forth on his knees, tears streaming down his face, silently begging for it all to stop.

And then it did. Damian had thought the noise had been torture, but he soon realized it was nothing compared to the sudden uncertainty of the silence. He froze, terrified at what this newfound stillness meant. Damian felt a hand gently rest on his back and then Dick was pulling him into his chest. When his brother quietly murmured, “She’s going to be alright.”, Damian let loose a heart-wrenching sob.

After holding the small boy for a few minutes, Dick helped Damian stand and he walked him into the other room. Their sister was lying on the bed, stomach wrapped in thick bandages, oxygen tube in her nose, IV in her arm. Though unconscious, her face was still pinched in pain but at least Damian can see her chest steadily rising and falling.

Jason was in the corner of the room, pacing back and forth, fingers subconsciously twitching at his hip. Normally when he was this agitated, he would just shoot his problems, but he knew in this situation, his guns were useless. Alfred was cleaning the bloody instruments on the table next to the bed, but he gave Damian a small smile and nod when he entered. Bruce was holding one of his daughter’s hands and staring unblinkingly at her face. Everyone always joked about how little the twins were but seeing her lying here like this, he thought she had never seemed smaller, more fragile.

A soft sniff behind him alerted Bruce to Damian’s presence. As the young boy approached his father’s side, his eyes were trained meekly on the floor. “Father, I am so sorry for injuring her. I did not mean to, but it was still my blade, my hand that did this. I am willing to accept whatever punishment you deem is appropriate.”

Bruce sighed and pulled his son into his chest, arms encircling him in a hug. Damian stiffened in surprise. “It’s okay, son. It was an accident. And…. I’m sorry for how I treated you earlier.” He glanced at the sleeping form in the bed. “I was scared for your sister, but I still shouldn’t have brushed you off like that. She was right. It wasn’t your fault.”

At these words, Damian collapsed into his father’s embrace. He still felt responsible for his sister’s current state, but he felt a wave of relief wash over him with the knowledge that his father was not angry with him.

Eventually, Damian gently pulled away from his father so he could approach the bedside. As he grasped her hand tightly, he watched his twin’s face soften slightly, as if calmed by his presence. In that moment, Damian swore that he would never let anyone hurt his sister like this ever again.

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

It Was an Accident

Fandom: Batman, Batfam, Damian Wayne

Word Count: 1718

TW: Accidental Violence Against a 10-year-old, Whump, Blood, Stabbing, Angst

Note: Third-Person Reader

“Help! Please, somebody help!”

Jason just happened to be passing by the open entrance to the Batcave when he heard his youngest brother’s desperate cries floating up the stairs. The sound stopped him dead in his tracks as a cold chill ran down his spine. Damian may still be just a kid, but he tried so hard to make everyone else forget that fact. He hid behind his patronizing snarky attitude and never let others see his vulnerable side. So, if his sobbing pleas were any indication, something must be terribly, terribly wrong…

Tearing down the stairs of the Batcave, Jason stumbled to a halt when he saw what had caused the commotion. Damian was kneeling on the training mat, tears streaming down his face, grasping his twin’s hand for dear life. A katana towered over her tiny form, one end protruding from her stomach and the other end pinning her to the floor. Even from this distance, Jason could hear her ragged gasps as she struggled to catch her breath. He was by her side in seconds, noticing a second katana laying discarded just out of reach of her hand. Damian looked up at him, his face twisted in anguish, “We were practicing. She was supposed to block my advance, but an alarm went off and she became distracted. Todd…. Please help her.”

Jason opened his mouth but flinched as he looked down to see his sister weakly grasping his fingers. “Not Dami’s fault…. I should have- have paid attention.”

Jason squeezed her hand back, trying to muster up a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. It was an accident. It was nobody’s fault. But don’t worry, we’ll get you fixed up real soon.”

He gently pulled his hand out of her clutches and hurled himself at the intercom on the wall. He wanted to remain calm for both of the twins’ sake, but the sight of his sister’s tiny body lying in a growing pool of her own blood was too much for him. Slamming down the button, Jason frantically screamed, “We need emergency medical assistance in the cave! Dick! Alfred!….. BRUCE! Get your asses down here now!”

Dick materialized next to him in seconds. He knew if Jason called for Bruce’s help, something dire had to have happened. And it appeared his assumption was not wrong. As he tried to grasp the scene before him, Dick’s gaze rapidly shifted from his sister to Damian to Jason back to his sister to the sword embedded in her stomach to his sister again, each change of focus leaving him gaping like a fish out of water.

Alfred arrived next. He had seen many terrible things both during his time in the military and since Master Bruce had started his nightly crusade, but the sight of the pale, wheezing form of his beloved ten-year-old charge laying at his feet was one of the worst. Without a word, he knelt down and began examining the wound around the blade. Checking her pulse, he was relieved to find it strong, if slightly irregular.

A flutter of a cape announced Bruce’s arrival. He had just been preparing to go join Tim on patrol, so he was currently in his batsuit minus the cowl. He immediately fell to his knees next to his daughter, his face pinched in a pained grimace. He began stroking her hair where it was splayed haphazardly across the mat.

Damian tried to explain what had happened. “Father, it was an accident. We were just sparing like we always do but she looked away for a moment. I did not –”

“Not now Damian.” Bruce coldly snapped as he refused to look at the trembling boy.

Damian’s already teary eyes grew wide at this harsh rebuff and Dick pulled him into a hug. For once, Damian didn’t resist. “It’s okay. He’s just scared. He didn’t mean it.” Dick murmured into his hair, but Damian remained stiff in his arms.

Glancing up, the young girl once again managed a soft, “Father…. It’s not Dami’s fault… Don’t blame him.”

Bruce just nodded at her slightly, lips pressed into a firm, hard line. Looking up at Alfred, he asked, “Well?”

“We’ll have to carry her to the medical facility before I can do anything. However, the sword seems to be pinning her to the floor so it will have to be removed before we can transfer her.”

All the boys immediately blanched at the idea of being the one to remove the sword, a fact that did not escape Alfred’s notice. With a sigh, he took charge of the situation. “This has to be done as quickly as possible since there is a good chance she will begin to bleed profusely once we remove the blade. Master Jason, go to the other room and get all my supplies set up.” Jason grunted and hurried off to do as he was told.

Alfred picked up the towel that was lying next to the mat and tossed it to Dick. “Master Dick, when I pull the blade out, I need you to press this into the wound as quickly and as tightly as possible.” Dick nodded, biting his lip slightly as he stepped away from Damian and moved closer to his sister.

“Master Bruce, as soon as she is no longer trapped, you need to carry her as quickly but as carefully as possible over to the medical facility.” Bruce began to say something, but one stern look from the butler shut him up quickly. Damian noticed that he had not been given a job to do so he just silently moved out of the way as his family prepared to try to fix his mistake.

As everyone got into position, Bruce soothingly whispered to his daughter, “Okay, my little one. I am sorry, but this next part is going to hurt. I need you to stay as still as you possibly can.”

She gazed up at her father through half-lidded eyes, “S’okay …. It doesn’t hurt anymore….” Bruce and Dick exchanged worried glances but silently prepared themselves.

On the count of three, Alfred pulled the sword from the girl’s stomach in one swift, fluid motion. Her body spasmed as her agony-filled scream echoed throughout the cave. Dick slammed the towel into the wound as a fountain of blood sprayed into the air. In seconds, she was a moaning, shaking mess in Bruce’s arms as he bolted to the medical facility.

Damian slowly sunk to his knees on the bloody mat. Each one of his sister’s screams or sobs from the other room was like a physical punch to the gut. He had done this to her, accidently or not. He was the cause of her suffering. She was the one person who had been by his side every day of his life. She was the one person who truly knew everything he had endured both with the League of Shadows and with the Bats. She was the one person he could trust without hesitation, and yet he had done this to her.

As another wail tore through him, Damian folded over until his head was pressed firmly against the mat, not caring as her blood soaked into his hair. He pressed his hands tightly over his ears attempting to drown out her cries and the frantic voices of their family as they tried desperately to save her. It did little to block the sounds and he was soon rocking back and forth on his knees, tears streaming down his face, silently begging for it all to stop.

And then it did. Damian had thought the noise had been torture, but he soon realized it was nothing compared to the sudden uncertainty of the silence. He froze, terrified at what this newfound stillness meant. Damian felt a hand gently rest on his back and then Dick was pulling him into his chest. When his brother quietly murmured, “She’s going to be alright.”, Damian let loose a heart-wrenching sob.

After holding the small boy for a few minutes, Dick helped Damian stand and he walked him into the other room. Their sister was lying on the bed, stomach wrapped in thick bandages, oxygen tube in her nose, IV in her arm. Though unconscious, her face was still pinched in pain but at least Damian can see her chest steadily rising and falling.

Jason was in the corner of the room, pacing back and forth, fingers subconsciously twitching at his hip. Normally when he was this agitated, he would just shoot his problems, but he knew in this situation, his guns were useless. Alfred was cleaning the bloody instruments on the table next to the bed, but he gave Damian a small smile and nod when he entered. Bruce was holding one of his daughter’s hands and staring unblinkingly at her face. Everyone always joked about how little the twins were but seeing her lying here like this, he thought she had never seemed smaller, more fragile.

A soft sniff behind him alerted Bruce to Damian’s presence. As the young boy approached his father’s side, his eyes were trained meekly on the floor. “Father, I am so sorry for injuring her. I did not mean to, but it was still my blade, my hand that did this. I am willing to accept whatever punishment you deem is appropriate.”

Bruce sighed and pulled his son into his chest, arms encircling him in a hug. Damian stiffened in surprise. “It’s okay, son. It was an accident. And…. I’m sorry for how I treated you earlier.” He glanced at the sleeping form in the bed. “I was scared for your sister, but I still shouldn’t have brushed you off like that. She was right. It wasn’t your fault.”

At these words, Damian collapsed into his father’s embrace. He still felt responsible for his sister’s current state, but he felt a wave of relief wash over him with the knowledge that his father was not angry with him.

Eventually, Damian gently pulled away from his father so he could approach the bedside. As he grasped her hand tightly, he watched his twin’s face soften slightly, as if calmed by his presence. In that moment, Damian swore that he would never let anyone hurt his sister like this ever again.

[ellana-ravenwood]

“You’re not my real mom !” - Batkids x Fem!Reader (Batmom)

Synopsis : A story about those few dreaded words : “You’re not my real mom”, said by the batkids, to you, in a the heat of a moment. And the aftermath of it all... 

This has been in my draft for ages. I hope you like it :) : 

my masterlists : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

DICK 

It happened so fast. In a quick moment of anger. 

A flash, a bang, words said too quickly to truly realize their meaning. 

Dick was frustrated because he felt you didn’t understand him, his point of view. And you were trying to explain to him that it was not okay to...

You know what ? 

You couldn’t even remember what he did. As if whatever it was, it was all wiped out of your memory when he pronounced those bone chilling words. 

You only remembered you were “scolding” him, just like parents do when their child did something he wasn’t supposed to. You rarely told Dick off, even when he would burst into fits of anger. 

You always told him : “When you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son, I love all of you.” 

And you meant it. Often, you or Bruce would take the brunt of his anger, without batting an eye. After all, that child went through a lot. It was totally normal for him to lash out at times. 

He saw his parents died right in front of him. It wasn’t a trauma that would be solved that fast (Bruce was proof of it). “The magic of love” couldn't simply cure someone who was so deeply hurt. Although it helped, over time. 

Yes. Time. 

It would take time, and support, for Dick to heal. And you were here for it. Here for him. 

But there were times, you had to say something. 

Usually, it was when he was being too reckless. 

Your son could be overzealous, and go too far. And you were so worried about his safety and wellbeing...Very rarely, you’d have to “scold” him. 

And you couldn’t even remember what you were lecturing him about that evening (even if you had an idea it was about being a little more careful). All you remembered was...

“You’re not even my real mom ! You can’t tell me anything !” 

And him turning away from you, crossing his arms and refusing to look your way. Which was good anyway, because you were an instant mess. 

“Ok”, you managed to say, wondering how the hell you were able to get the words out. And then you left. Feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. And your heart slowly breaking. 

Bruce found you two later, both clearly feeling down... 

Dick stayed quiet the entire time they were on patrol, and Bruce instantly knew something was wrong. He wasn’t there during your fight, and he only arrived when you were already gone, surprised that you went to bed so early in the night, and didn’t stay with your son downstairs until it was time for patrol... 

The man didn’t push the boy, waiting for him to open up if he wanted to. And as usual, Dick did finally speak up. In a weak voice, as they were surveying the city from a rooftop, he said :

“I told her she wasn’t my real mom...” 

“Ah.” 

Bruce felt the urge to go back home and console you, knowing that you were certainly a mess, right now. But he had to take care of his boy, too. 

And oh, oh Dick looked so crestfallen and sad as the meaning of his words slowly etched into his mind. 

“I told her she wasn’t-she wasn’t-but she is I just-I-I don’t know why I said that-I...” 

The little one was on the verge of tears, and Bruce understood why. 

He probably understood more than anyone else. 

He told Alfred “You’re not my dad !” more than once, and remembered how even the stoic butler looked, whenever he said it. 

He remembered the hurt in his eyes, the resignation too. The “very well sir”, said in a neutral manner, but the stiff way he’d left the room. 

It took Bruce a while, to finally realize that Alfred WAS his father. That he raised him, most definitely. And was always there for him during the hard times. 

That he even helped and supported him, when he came back after disappearing for years, saying : “I’m going to dress up as a bat and wipe crimes from Gotham”. ...How many parents would be that understanding, eh ? 

Alfred knew Bruce. And always tried to do his best for him. So whenever Bruce would yell at him that he “wasn’t his father”, it hurt. 

Bruce knew it. He noticed how Alfred’s entire demeanor would change. He’d see a light go out in his eyes. 

“Very well, sir.”, a small bow, and the stiffness of his body as he left...

And Bruce remembered. 

The guilt and the pain he felt himself, as he regretted ever saying those words. As he knew they were going to hurt, which is why he said them in the first place.

It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt his adopted father, oh no. It was that sometimes he just...He just felt so angry ! Like everything was unfair ! And he missed his parents so much ! 

It was a force stronger than him, he wanted Alfred to leave him alone, and pushed him away...”You’re not my dad !”. So yes. Bruce understood little Dickie. He understood you, too. He knew how you must’ve felt, he saw it enough happening to Alfred. 

Once you’d get home, he would take care of you. But right now, he had to care for his son. 

Right here, on one of Gotham’s rooftop, the scary and mighty Batman slowly kneeled down, and took his boy in his arms, holding him tightly. 

Dick didn’t need more to throw his arms around his father’s shoulders, and hold him strongly too, with all his nine years old strength, sobbing slowly. 

Bruce drew soothing circles on his back, and whispered : 

“It’s ok, it’s going to be ok. It’s ok. Calm down, things are going to be ok.” 

Your husband lost count of the time passing. Were they there, holding each others while Dick was sobbing uncontrollably, for ten minutes, or for ten hours ? He didn’t know. And he didn’t budge.  

His son needed him. Just like once, he needed Alfred... 

Dick fell asleep in his arms, and that night, Bruce came home early. 

Not like he was going to stay out anyway, knowing you were probably devastated, all alone in your room... 

************

Dick fell into a deep sleep, and didn’t budge one bit even as Bruce came down the building, rode home, and put him into bed. 

Bruce’s guess was that all the pent up feelings truly exhausted him. Also, he knew that crying could be tiring. And freeing, in a way. 

Putting the boy’s blanket all the way up to his chin, Bruce laid a kiss on his forehead and then rushed to your shared bedroom... 

You had cried too, but you were not asleep. 

Your eyes were puffy and red, and your cheeks marked with your tears. You seemed surprised, when he came in, and looked at the clock. 

It was only midnight ? 

“Hello, my love.” 

He sat down next to you, and from the way he ran his fingers through your hair, and caressed your cheek, wiping the salty tears from it...You knew he knew.

He knew how devastated you felt. How those simple words that would mean nothing for many, truly wounded you. 

He knew how much you loved that boy, how as soon as your eyes laid on his little face that terrible night he lost his parents, you felt like he was going to be your son one day. 

He knew how much you’d sacrifice for that kid’s happiness, how far you’d go to keep him safe...And so, how hurtful him telling you you weren’t his real mother must’ve felt.  

There was no need for words. 

He knew what to do. He laid next to you, and you just cuddled up to him, letting him wrap you up in his warm embrace. 

He drew those same soothing circles on your back than he did on Dick’s. And whispered : 

“He didn’t mean it. He truly didn’t. He loves you, you know. I love you too.” 

You fell asleep to his words of love and reassurance, finally letting go after hours of not being able to sleep, reenacting the terrible scene in your head over and over again, making yourself feel worst each times. 

************

You woke up around 4 am, with Bruce’s arms wrapped around you.  

He was asleep and escaping his grasp (without Alfred’s help) took you a little bit..but you managed to leave without waking him up. 

He did groan a little at the loss of your warmth, and grabbed your pillow to hold it against his chest. Which was extremely cute, and oh how glad you were to be the only one to see this side of him. 

You went down to the kitchen and... 

Dick was coming from the other door, opposite to the one you took.

The kitchen had three access. Two doors facing each others, and one on the third wall. The door you took was because you got a little lost and did a detour through the drawing room. Dick, however, came from the door you should’ve come from too, which was the one you accessed from the West Wing third corridors, which was directly under your bedroom, and Dick’s. 

The boy probably stood up a little after you, and while you got lost in your own home (again), he took the normal way and...

Boom. Here you both were, arriving in the kitchen at the same time. 

There was a small silence. Awkward. And...

Your heart tightened. 

Dick was sort of cowering backward in fear. Fear of what ? 

Oh. But of course. 

“He didn’t mean it.” 

Bruce whispered to you many times, before you fell asleep. And the way Dick looked at you, worry in his eyes...He was thinking you were mad at him. And the regret in his pupils was as obvious as that fact. 

“Ice cream ?” 

You ask him. His eyes widen a bit, and you can almost see the gears in his brain trying to piece everything together. You’re...not mad at him ? 

Of course you’re not. You felt sad, and lost, and hurt, yes. But never did you feel any hint of anger. Of course not. 

You take out his favorite flavor from the freezer, and settle a bowl in front of one of the high stool around the counter. 

At that time, Dick was so tiny. A very short little bean. And he’d stay small for a long time, only having a sudden spurt when he was around fifteen. 

He climbed onto the stool, and watched you as you gave him some ice cream and a spoon, and then sat down next to him to eat some as well. 

The silent was slowly turning less awkward. 

Slowly, and unsurely, Dick picked his spoon up and looked at you. And completely missed his mouth, the ice cream spreading on his cheek instead. 

You turn around to look at him, ice cream on his cheek, and he’s clearly embarrassed, as a tint of color slowly rises on his face. 

You don’t really know why, but something snaps in you and you start laughing. And laughing. And laughing. 

Because honestly, the kid missing his mouth as he picked his spoon up full of ice cream, is kinda funny right ? And also, all the tension and stress you felt suddenly broke with this simple, silly thing. 

Unsure at first, Dick just looked at you. But your laughter quickly spread to him, and soon enough, you both were bursting out in laughter. 

Anyone not knowing what happened, would probably think you were both crazy, laughing that hard for no apparent reasons. 

Instinctually, you ruffle his hair and Dick gasps. You really weren’t mad at him ?!

You realized what you did, and slowly, both your laughter subsided. There was a small silence as Dick stared at you, and you stared back, and then : 

“I’m-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean it !” 

He says in a small voice, and he can’t add anything else as you just pick him up and hold him tight against your heart, and you say : 

“I know.” 

And it’s all he needs to realize you’re not really mad at him, and although he messed up and hurt you, right now, you were both on the path of recovery... 

Next morning, Bruce woke up alone in bed, which greatly distressed him as usual (he often woke up first). But a gut feeling was telling him that...

He found you asleep with Dick in his bed, holding him tightly. 

************

After that event, you sat down with him, so you could have a serious talk about the underlining issue this raised. Talk about something important. 

“Little bird, you know I love you, right ?” 

He nods, but still cannot speak quite yet, doesn’t have the energy to. 

“I want you to understand something. Something vital. Are you listening ?” 

He nods again, his eyes fixed on you. And he’s listening, oh he definitely is. 

“It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to lash out. It’s ok to not be alright. It’s ok to make mistakes.” 

He nods, a little slower than before, and you can see his eyes slowly becoming wetter and wetter. 

“It’s ok. It really is. I’m here. And I love you. Even when you don’t want me around. Even when you push me away. I’m here. And I always will be. Ok ?” 

He nods one last time, unable to hold his tears, and then his little arms latch around you, and he refuses to let go for well over an hour...

Oh. Sweet, sweet boy. 

Your son. 

************

Even now, at age twenty seven, Dick still often think about this day. And the regrets are as burning as they were back then. 

He often thought about it. 

Whenever you did something for him, went out of your way to make him happy, or were just there for him, always...

He’d have a flashback of this day, and feel nothing but regret and anger at his younger self. 

And then you’d read him like an open book. Know exactly what he was thinking, and would slowly shake your head, and say : “I know I often said that, but I will say it till the day I die if I need to :  when you came into my life, you changed everything. And I love all of you little bird. Not just when you’re joking around and smiling. But also when you get angry, and lash out. You are my son. I love all of you. Even when you’re a little bit of a jerk.” and you’d wink at him, making him chuckle and feel a surge of affection toward you. 

Kind of like the ones you’d feel sometimes. A sudden urge to hug your family, to tell them what they mean to you. Both you and Dick understood since a long time that with the life you all lead, you never knew what could happen, and should never waste a “I love you” if you felt like saying it. 

Well, the apple never fall far from the tree ? 

Yes. Because you were his mom. And nothing would ever change his mind on that. Ever. 

JASON 

"Well Jason, you did it you idiot !” 

He says to himself in the mirror, and oh he could’ve punch himself if it was possible. He took his desk chair, and threw it across his bedroom, letting out a scream of frustration. 

He went to his desk, and threw everything that was on it on the floor. He then went to his book shelves and...

There. Your book. The one you wrote for him. 

Jason fell to his knee, holding his head in his hands, crying softly. 

Yes. Yes he did it...He ruined this one chance life gave him to have parents. 

He hurt one of the person that meant the most to him, one of the person he loved the most...His mom. You. 

Because you were his mom, no matter what he told you, in that moment of anger as you scolded him after he did something dangerous during one of his patrol. 

He hadn’t been allowed to go out for long, by then. And Bruce had already scolded him before for the very same thing, so when you did it too, he had enough and...it happened before he could think about it. 

He was angry, about the lack of trust and about the sermons, and his brain tried to hurt without even thinking about it. Triggered by years of living in the streets, where he had to think quick and act right away, and then suffer the consequences. If he wasn’t fast enough, it could be the end of him... 

A gut reaction triggered by years of being all on his own, having to fend for himself. His brain went into overdrive, “hurt” is what it set into motion. 

“You’re not my mom !” 

And that was it...

As he saw your face fell, and his father’s face turn angry, he knew. He knew he messed up. He messed everything up, as usual !

“Jason !” 

Bruce called, but Jason wasn’t about to stop. He ran out of the cave, right to his bedroom. Oh, oh but if only he stayed a little longer. He’d realize that his father wasn’t angry, just hurt as well. 

Hurt to see the woman he loved being hurt. 

Not angry. Ah but being in pain could sometimes look like you are mad ? And Bruce hadn't been able to hide his frown as he heard Jason’s words... 

“Let him be, Bruce.” 

You say in a weak voice. You knew Jason, you knew sometimes he needed to cool down on his own. That he could be impulsive, but always came around. 

Ah. But that time, he needed everything but to be alone. 

Because, as he thought he ruined his one chance at having a real family, he thought... 

“Better to leave before they throw me away !” 

He knew he could never bear to face you and Bruce, as you’d certainly tell him you were “un-adopting” him. Jason saw it happened before. Someone thinking their adopted kid was “too much”, and sending them back. 

It was awful, of course. But it happened. For real. And Jason knew that life could really suck...But her couldn’t bear to face you as you’d send him away. 

Worst, what if you just send Alfred and that was it ?

No. Jason would leave before you could do that. He couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t. 

Filling his backpack with some clothes, and snacks, he opened his window and slid down the gutter all the way to the ground, and then ran away into the night. Tears trailing down behind him, as he left behind the one place in which he ever felt safe, warm, and loved. 

In the meantime, you and Bruce were unaware of that, and slowly falling asleep in each others’ arms... As usual, Bruce was there for you. 

************

“Jason ? I thought I wouldn’t see you anymore after you got adopted by dem fancy fellas. Are you here to get some work ?” 

“No.” 

“Really, why did you come then ?” 

“I didn’t, I’m just passing by.” 

“Nah, don’t believe it. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy !” 

“TAKE IT BACK !” 

As he ran away, Jason went back to a place he thought he never would need to. A few intricate alleys, in the Bowery, under the main city. 

The Bowery, a filthy underground neighborhood, hell on Earth for many. Although things did improve when Batman started his work a few years back. 

“Wow there tiger, relax.” 

Jason came in this specific area for only one thing. Retrieve a few items he left behind, thinking he would never need it again because he was leaving behind this life. 

He had a hideout, not far. In which he hid some materials to survive in the streets. He thought he probably had to go back to stealing cars’ tires...Although maybe he should change it. Thinking of what happened last time he did this hurt his heart. 

He knew that next time he’d get caught stealing tires, the person wouldn’t end up adopting him...Anyway, he didn’t want any other parents but you and Bruce. 

And he messed that up so bad, by being so mean to you ! 

“Listen, it’s not because you got all fancy schmancy that you can talk to me like that. Remember who’s boss in this part of town.” 

Batman did a lot of good to the city, but also, by getting rid of some big players in the “crime business”, he allowed small time thugs to climb up the ladders...It felt, at times, like there always was someone to replace whoever Bruce just put behind bars... 

The man who was talking to Jason, used to be a small time criminal. Turned boss, when the Batman kept arresting all the people above him. Jason used to “work” for him, bringing him watches or jewelry that he’d exchange against cash. 

Damn. He never thought he’d ever see him again... Oh and he definitely didn’t think this through. 

As the new boss, who’s name was Johnny Clancy, told him that he’d forever be a “bad boy”, Jason saw red and...getting mad at a crime boss was a bad idea. 

Before he could even think about an escape plan, Jason was surrounded by dangerous armed men. 

“How dare you talk to me like that ? Mmm. The Waynes adopted you right ? Mmm. They’re loaded. Probably would pay a fortune to get you back uh ? And to think they’re gonna give me a lot of cash to get a little runaway brat back haha. Because that’s what you did right ? You ran away ? As you always did before mm ? You know, I observed you Jason Todd. I saw you run away from anyone getting close. I saw you.” 

Jason’s heart didn’t need anyone to push and squiggle the knife he felt in around some more. He had just lost his family. Did he need more reminder that he always fucked up ?! 

“They won’t give you any money, they don’t want me anymore...” 

But Johnny didn’t believe him, of course. He told two of his thugs to grab the boy, but Jason, by instinct, dropped them to the floor with a few well placed kicks and punches. 

And that was enough to unleash Johnny Clancy’s wrath.

See, he was a new boss. He had to assert dominance. And an eight years old kid making a fool of him and his gang ? That wouldn’t go. 

So what if he had to off a child ? Anything to keep climbing up, and leave the Bowery’s slums. 

************

“Have you seen Jason ?” 

Bruce asks you, a few hours after your fight with him. 

“What ? No, I thought he was with you ?”

“No, he skipped his training and I thought he might be with you, apologizing for what he said yesterday ? You know, sounds like something he would do.” 

“I haven’t seen him since, you know. I thought he was avoiding me...” 

“He would never.” 

“Bruce...” 

“He would never, my love. I know what he said hurt you, but I’m sure he’s regretting it right now. You should go see him, he’s probably sulking in his bedroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if you meet him up the stairs as he comes down to say sorry.” 

“Bruce...” 

Your husband comes to you, and takes your hands in his. 

“You know him. He’s impulsive, and a little abrasive sometimes. But he’s a sweet child. And he regrets his bursts, you know it. Tonight was just tough, we both scolded him, he’s not used to it.” 

“You’re right.” 

“Of course I am, I’m-”

“I swear to God if you say “I’m Batman” I’m going to smack you.” 

Bruce smiles softly at you, glad he managed to at least made the tension go away a little. He pecks your lips quickly, and watches you as you leave to go to your son’s bedroom. 

He was about to go down the Batcave, when you came back, panicked : 

“He’s gone ! Jason’s gone !” 

Ah. Bruce knew that placing a tracker in his children’s molars was a good idea. 

************

“HOW HARD IS IT TO CATCH A FUCKING KID ?!” 

Jason runs as fast as he can, without looking back. He managed to break the line of thugs coming at him, and escape in-between to of them who didn’t pull their guns out quite yet. 

They were shooting at him. With no hesitation. 

Johnny was set on proving he was an unscrupulous boss. To earn everyone’s respect. So what if he had to shoot a kid ? It’d send everyone a message. He’d back off from nothing ! 

Jason turned in an alley and...Damn it ! He must’ve taken a wrong turn at some point, it had been a while, since he roamed the Bowery’s alleyways...

He was faced by a wall, stuck. And they quickly caught up to him. 

“Wooouh, you’re fast kid. And you’re sneaky. Too bad you’re such a brat, I bet you could be a nice addition to our-”

Johnny Clancy never finished his sentence. In fact, he never could properly speak after that night. After getting his jaw broken into a thousand pieces by the Batman’s fist. 

Bruce had come down from nowhere, with...you in his arms ?! 

This was the first time Jason saw you wear the costume he saw a few times in the Batcave. He thought you wore it only to go to the JLA’s watchtower, to hide your identity. Not that you could actually...fight ?! 

And wow, you definitely could hold your own ! You made a few disarming pass, taking the guns away from all the men before they could even react, and letting Bruce finish them off with well placed kicks and punches. 

Oh and that night, the Batman unleashed his rage and unforgiveness full force. How dare they touch his son ?! 

You didn’t have anything to envy from your husband either, however, as you worked through Johnny’s gang rather fast too. 

That night, the both of you exterminated (figure of speech, of course, neither of you ever killed, that was the one big rule...but there were never a rule against breaking a few bones) Johnny Clancy’s gang, who dared to even think of hurting your precious son. 

Jason, holding his backpack tight against him, couldn’t believe his eyes. You two came to save him ? But...why ? 

He messed up. You’d surely not want him around anymore ! 

Once Bruce dropped the last man, you rushed to Jason and before he could utter a sound, took him in your arms. 

“Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re safe baby, I’m so glad you’re...” 

Your voice broke at the end, and you chocked, the emotions too strong and squeezing your throat. 

Jason didn’t understand. And through his surprise, he managed to say : 

“I thought-I thought you’d never want to see me again, and that you wouldn’t want to be my mom anymore.” 

You hold him even tighter, as you feel Bruce get down on his knee and bring the both of you in his arms. 

“Oh sweety, never. Never.” 

You say, not letting go. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...” 

Your son manage to choke out, before sobbing profusely and holding on to you and Bruce. 

“I’m just glad you’re safe...it’s ok, it’s ok it’s already forgotten...” 

And it was. As soon as you saw that Jason-That your SON, was missing, you forgot he ever told you “you’re not my mom”. You forgot and it truly didn’t matter anymore, as all you cared about was to find him, and make sure he was safe. 

“Jason, oh my little Jason, I’m so glad you’re safe...”

Wether it is a conscious things or not, he returns your embrace fiercely, holding tightly as he looks up at you. It almost feels like he wants to make sure you really are there. And won’t go anywhere. Like everyone else did in his life. 

Jason was tired of losing those close to him. Those he cared about. Sometimes, he’d push them away, by fear of getting attached again just for life to rip them away from him. So he held onto you, as you held him back. 

Tightly against your heart. 

“Mom...” 

This was the day Jason Todd realized something very important : He wasn’t alone anymore. He had parents who loved him, and he loved them back. 

So much. 

And they’d never let him go. Never. 

************

Years later, this love he had for you and Bruce, turned out to be the very reason he became “Red Hood”. 

From that day he told you : “you’re not my real mom !”, he felt like he belonged. Like finally, the people he loved loved him back. Like he was cherished. And then Bruce didn’t avenge him. He let Joker get away. And you let him do it. You, the people he trusted and loved most in the world, betrayed him...

He felt like he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth Bruce breaking his one rule to avenge him. He wasn’t worth it...He didn’t matter enough. 

Jason felt so angry. For years. He wanted to hurt you, to hurt Bruce. To show you what it felt like. What HE felt like. 

But Jason has always been a strong one. You knew it. You told him enough times : “you’re a fighter, my Jason. You went through so much, and always came out of it. You lost a lot on the way my little one, but you never give up. You never give up...” 

You never give up. 

Love. 

It’s what drove him to become the Red Hood. It’s what drove him over the edge. What gave him so much pain. 

Rather, the feeling of not being loved. The thought all you and Bruce said to him, about how much you cared and loved him, was a lie. 

Yes. The thought that you lied about loving him, is what broke him. What made him find every way possible to truly, truly hurt you two.

You never give up. 

He was so angry. But he never could quite give up on his family...that’s why he didn’t stay with the Al’ghuls. That why they didn’t keep him. 

He could never forget you and Bruce. Move on. 

He could never. 

Jason was a strong lad. Strong enough to see past his hate and need of revenge. His pain. His deep trauma. 

It took a while. But the change came from him. He’s the one that gave you another chance. And it allowed him to realize...nothing was a lie.

And you got your son back.

Because you showed him. You showed him nothing was a lie.

When his dad never gave up on him even as he killed more and more people, and even as Jason saw him completely erase people who used to be close from him as soon as they killed once. When you refused to let him go. When Bruce kept going back, even as he knew Jason would fight him and try to hurt him. When you pleaded with him, even when you knew his answer would be the same... 

Jason never gave up. 

But you didn’t either. 

“You’re not my mom”, are words he never meant. Not even once. Not even when he was the “old” Red Hood, the one that killed mercilessly any criminals, and that was trying to be exactly what Batman wasn’t. 

“You’re not my mom”, even at his worst, at a time he suffered greatly, Jason never meant it. He never did. 

And ultimately, it’s this filial love, and the love you and Bruce had for him, that brought him back out of the dark pit the Joker pushed him in...

TIM 

Tim knew that his overly pragmatic mind sometimes could make him sound tactless. That he had trouble, sometimes, expressing himself properly. 

He knew that what he said, although it could be the factual truth, could be perceived as not being very nice... 

He knew, yet sometimes, he couldn’t help himself. 

“But you’re not my mom.” 

He told you that day, as you asked when was the “mother/child day” at school. 

Tim’s school had a day each year, during which every mother would come and do different activities with their kids. You did it with Dick and Jason, and it was always great fun, and amazing bonding time. 

By then, Tim had been with you and Bruce for over a year now. And he did, see you as his mom. However, he was a little too set, at the time, on rules and specifics. In the “mother/child day” rulebook, it “specifically” said that the actual child’s mother had to come, not the nanny or anyone else. 

In Tim’s mind, although he did see you as his mom, he thought the school wouldn’t. For him, the way the rules were written, were clearly stating his birth mother had to come. And the official adoption papers were not processed yet. Those took quite a while. 

He had been living with you for over a year. He called you and Bruce “mom and dad”. He truly considered you two his parents. But the official papers were not done quite yet. So to him, in the eye of the law (be it a silly school rule), you weren’t his mom quite yet. 

So when he said : “but you’re not my mom”, that’s what he meant. Of course, you misunderstood...

How could you guess that Tim was thinking that only his “birth mother” could take him, because officially right now he didn’t have a mom, just “guardians”...

His mother was dead. Has been dead for a while, now. And even if she wasn’t, Tim knew she’d never come at this event...She wasn’t the caring type of mother. Not like you. Which is why it really bummed him out that those rules were so clearly stated like that !

What Tim misunderstood, is that this specific rule had been added to the rulebook because many family would send their nanny, or a big sister, instead of the mom. Because Tim was of course in Gotham’s Academy, full of rich families, in which the moms were very busy...

Which is why such a day existed. Some kids spend quality times with their mom only on this school day. Nowadays, everyone made an effort to come (the fact you appeared, the famed (Y/N) Wayne, a few years back, with Dick, and it made all the papers’ headlines, might’ve influenced others to participate too).

To tell the truth, Tim was very disappointed that you couldn’t go with him, and was considering asking the principle of the school to do an exception to the rule and allow you to go with him.  

He was already fomenting a plan in his head to convince the headmaster to let you come as his mom, and as usual when he was planning things out, he completely disconnected from reality. 

And therefor, didn’t see how your face “closed”, and your eyes turned sad. The boy was typing away on his computer, as if nothing had just happened, as if you didn’t feel your world crumble as he flat out told you you weren’t his mom...

Of course, it was all a misunderstanding. He meant it as “officially”. Not about his actual feelings. 

For some reason, the way he said it so nonchalantly hurts you more than when Dick and Jason yelled at you that you “weren't their mom”. Because at least, in your eldests’ cases, you knew it was in the heat of the moment. 

That it was because they felt frustrated and sad. 

But Tim just told you : “But you’re not my mom.” matter of factly, and moved on. And it hurt. 

It hurt so much, because that boy...You loved that boy, of course. And considered him your son for sure. Part of your heart, now. Part of your family. And he felt so far, right now...so far... 

You left the room and he didn’t even notice. 

Did he really not see you as his mom ? Was he just calling you “mom” to imitate his brothers ? ...You didn’t know, but it hurt. 

It hurt so much. 

************

You found Bruce in his office, doing some paperworks for Wayne Inc. When he saw your face, he immediately smiled, your presence lighting his whole world...But then he saw your expression, and he frowned. 

“What happened ?” 

************

“Mom ? MooOOooom ?” 

Tim had been looking for you for the past hour, but wasn’t able to find you. You weren't in all your favorite places ! Did you leave the Manor without telling him ? It was unlike you. 

Finally, he found you. You were in a room that was rarely used, but which was conveniently close to Bruce’s office, and had a couch. 

Laying on top of your husband, you were fast asleep as Bruce was going through his paperworks, letting you holding onto his waist as he kept working. 

When he saw the boy come in the room, he smiled at him. And it was hard, not to smile at Tim, seeing his own big wide smile. 

Tim was missing a few teeth, that fell not long ago, and it was absolutely the cutest, when he smiled widely. He looked so happy, eyes sparkly and genuine smile. It felt wrong to Bruce, to think that this sweet boy didn’t see you as his mom...

Maybe it was all a misunderstanding ? Wouldn’t be the first time. Although, Bruce knew how sometimes Tim could be brutally honest, and say the facts in a matter of factly way that could be very harsh on the uninitiated. 

Your son was holding a cardboard sheet almost as big as him, and looked very excited about something. He slowly approached you two, and said, whispering, yet the excitement was clear in his voice : 

“Has she been asleep for long, dad ?!” 

He called Bruce dad. Without an hesitation. And it felt so genuine. Like he was relishing in the word rolling off of his tongue. And it was often the case, with Tim. His parents, when they were still alive, never really noticed his presence... 

And sometimes, it could be even worst to have parents who acted as if you didn’t exist, than caring parents who passed away. Bruce realized this. 

“No, she just closed her eyes.” 

Bruce answers, looking at you. And oh he couldn’t possibly know how soft his expressions as as he gazed at your sleeping face. 

“Oh...” 

Tim was clearly disappointed. His shoulders fell down, and he looked on the floor, looking defeated.

“What is it, champ ?” 

“Well, I wanted her to-Oh ! Mom !” 

The rumbling of your husband’s chest as he spoke is what woke you up. Not the actual sound of their voices, just that low vibrations reverberating in his chest. 

You opened one eye, then the second, and was greeted by your youngest son’s face being very close to you. As Tim saw you were waking up, he kneeled down next to the couch, settling his piece of cardboard next to him, and approached you very closely. 

His smile and sweet expression filled your vision. And you felt even more hurt, as you saw him so happy to see you, to know he didn’t really think you were his mom. 

It was clear he cared for you. And loved you, and being with you. But to him...You weren’t his mom. And that was so painful. 

“I got a plan mom, I got a plan !” 

A...Plan ? For what ? You don’t even have time to ask him, and, still a little hazy as you just woke up from a short nap (that you took after crying exhausted you), you raise a little from your husband. 

You exchange a curious look with him, as you see Tim spring to his feet and get a hold of the piece of cardboard that is almost as tall and large as him. 

He turns it around and...

Your heart drops. 

It’s a lot of very detailed drawings, maps and words about...about...

“This is how we’re going to convince the headmaster of my school that you’re really my mom, even if officially you’re not yet !! I thought we could start with logic first, and then go down the path of pathos if he really doesn’t change his mind !” 

What ? Your brain is trying really hard to comprehend what’s happening, although it is starting to put two and two together. 

“The rules say that the mom HAS to be the one who comes, and the way they wrote it suggest that they wouldn’t accept someone who isn’t yet official. But I think we could convince that, in our heart, we’re already an official family, right ?!” 

Tim looks at you, and then at his dad, a little worry in his eyes (what if for them, he wasn’t their son yet because the paperworks weren’t finished and officials quite yet ?!?!). Bruce cannot help but smile, and nods, feeling his heart melt (a rare occurrence). 

And you. You have exactly the reaction he expected you’d have. You sit up, put the cardboard aside, and drag your son into a tight hug that makes him giggle and exclaim : 

“Hahaha mom wait I can’t breaaaathe !! Mom !!” 

But he hugs you back, knowing that this means yes, you do consider him your son already, paperworks or not, and you will probably follow his plan to convince the school to-

“Mom ? Why are you crying ? Mom ?” 

You can’t explain it to him. You feel silly, but also so emotional and touched. You thought he didn’t think of you as his mom. But he did. Oh he did, and was actually worried about technicalities of rules and...So sweet. That boy is so sweet. 

Carefully, Tim dries your tears, and look curiously at his dad, his eyes clearly asking : “Did I do something wrong ?”

You’re still unable to speak, as you hold onto him, and Bruce ruffles his son’s hair saying : 

“She’s just too happy, champ. She’s just too happy.” 

CASSANDRA

"You, not my mom !” 

She screamed. You never heard Cass raised her voice before. And yet, here, she screamed at you. And then closed her bedroom door right on your nose. 

And you felt it in your heart. That specific pain that you wished you’d never feel again. That kind of hurt you wished you’d never feel ever again. 

It happened just liked it did with Dick and Jason. You were “lecturing” her about putting herself in needless danger, and she felt frustrated at the fact you “didn’t trust her”. 

It wasn’t true of course. You did trust her. And you knew she could hold her own. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, and scold her if she really scared you... 

It was pure instinct. You couldn’t stop yourself from telling them off when you felt they went too far. You did it with Bruce too. 

Once, he threw himself in the way of a bullet to save you, and once he recovered enough...Oh you were so mad at him. 

It’s not that you wanted to take that bullet, of course. You knew it was also instinct that made him move to save you. But in truth, you would rather take a thousand bullet than lose any of them. Bruce, or your children. 

And sometimes, it was hard for them to understand this. To get why you were so worried, when you accepted fully their night activities. 

Why you monitored the batcomputer, if it was to scold them when they put themselves in danger ? 

Ah but they didn’t understand that you only got “mad” when they put themselves in NEEDLESS danger. Pushing themselves too far that one night, being careless with something, ignoring their own safety to finish a task... 

You couldn’t help but be afraid. And your fear turned into you scolding them. And sometimes, on each sides, things boiled and...

“You, not my mom !” 

The meaning was clear. As Cass slammed her door right in your face, you knew not to push it further, not to tell her anything more. 

Maybe you should’ve ? Should’ve open her door, and continue lecturing her so she’d understand her life was valuable ? 

Cass put herself in danger more than any other member of your family, because she was raised as a weapon and thought of herself as an “expendable”. You weren’t mad at her for this, of course not (but oh, David Cain probably should never cross your path, it wasn’t pretty, when you were truly angry). 

You were just worried. And unfortunately, being a parent was complicated and sometimes, your worry turned a little overbearing for your kids. 

This was a mistake every normal caring parents made. Wanting what was best for their children, sometimes not realizing they’re going too far. And you ? Your family wasn’t normal. 

Your children were vigilantes. Your worries were tuned up to the max.  

Being a parent was hard. And sometimes, both you and your kids were frustrated. It happened. In any family. 

It was resolved rather fast, most of the time. A little conversation, understanding and indulgence, and boom. Sorted. 

However, there were times when things would go a little too far. Wether because one of you was tired, or didn’t feel well etc etc...

Tonight, was such a time. 

“You, not my mom !” 

Cass didn’t even register what she said. She was just mad and frustrated, and said the first thing that came into her mind. Her hand slammed the door shut before she could even think about it. 

And here you were. In the corridor. In front of your daughter’s door. 

Hurt. And feeling as devastated as you did when her brothers told you the same thing. You would think, after a few times of this happening, it’d be easier, right ? Well. No. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. 

As usual in those instances, you went to seek comfort in the arms of your husband. 

************

Cassandra didn’t feel ok. 

In fact, she felt absolutely terrible. 

She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt that bad. 

When she went to look for you and apologize for her behavior, she found you in her dad’s arms, crying, and it made her run away...

She couldn’t face you, knowing she truly hurt you like that. 

The worst thing is, she knew she would hurt you by saying those words. Yet she still did it. It was as if she couldn’t control herself. It was like an ugly force took over her, and made her say those words. 

But she knew. She knew she’s the one who ultimately decided to say them. She’s the one that pronounced them. Under the anger. 

Anger. 

The ugly force. 

She turned around in her bed, holding onto the plush toy you gave her shortly after her arrival. You said “every child should have one” and that this one made you think of her. 

It was a fox with bright colors. And it still smelled like you. 

She was about to fall asleep, when she heard a knock on her door. 

“Can we come in ?” 

It was her older brothers. 

Dick, Jason and Tim. 

It was rare, to have them all in the same place nowadays, what with how busy they all were. Dick with Bludhäven, Jason with the gods only knew what really (the gods, and you and Bruce...but sshhh, that’s a secret), and Tim with college applications. 

So Cass immediately understood that they heard about the fight she had with their mom. 

And she felt a rush of shame come over her. She felt sad too, because maybe they’d be mad at her ?

Cassandra didn’t think she could bear to break your heart, and have her precious brothers mad at her all in the same day. 

She almost told them to leave. But she didn’t have the strength. 

They surrounded her, and their presence was so...soothing. 

And then they spoke. They each told her the story of the time they told their mom those few dreaded words. 

“You’re not my real mom !” 

They told her how awful they felt, and how they knew they hurt their mom. They told her that...well, they did have the best mom ever. 

You never held any grudge. Ever. Especially not against your own family. 

You never even mentioned again the fact they told you this awful thing, you never even mentioned once this, under any circumstances. 

Her brothers stayed with her for hours, talking about their feelings on the matter. Telling her it happened. That everyone wasn’t always on their best behavior...

It was hard, for Cass, to not be “good”. She did so many awful things when her biological father raised her to be a weapon, she felt like she had to catch up so much on those years of “badness”. 

She often felt like she was evil, and could never caught up to everything. Like she was doomed, and could never become good. 

On that, Jason told her she was wrong. That everyone could change, and no one was born truly evil. Environment, and the way you’re raised, matter. And what she did...wasn’t her fault. She was forced to. If she really enjoyed doing this she’d never become a Batgirl. She would never be part of this family. 

She often felt like she was a bad daughter. 

On that, Dick told her she was wrong. He too, felt like a bad son, when he “replaced” his parents with you and Bruce. He too, felt like a bad son when he would get so mad while you would do anything to make him happy. He too, felt like a bad son...on so many occasions. But he grew. And thanks to you mainly, he realized he was just human. Mistakes are human. And it’s not being a bad son, to sometimes feel so hurt that you lash out. That your trauma are so strong, things sometimes are tough. 

She often felt like she couldn’t fit in, and would never fit in. 

On that, Tim told her she was wrong. Him too, felt too different. He already had parents, they were alive, he just wanted to help, he didn’t have any friends...But in this family. In this family, everyone fitted in. Because you made it so. Bruce made it saw. You both accepted any flaws, and differences your kids might have. You loved them unconditionally, they all knew that by now. 

And Cass...Cass didn’t want to hurt you. 

They knew that, too.

It was an accident. In the heat of the moment. She didn’t mean it. Of course, you are her mom. Of course...

It felt good, to have her brothers there for her, when you couldn’t be. 

************

Later that night, after her brothers left, Cass slowly exits her room and take the known way to yours and Bruce’s. 

You are both there, and she knows her dad stayed because you felt bad. He always stayed with you, when you were feeling down. And vice versa.

Cass always told herself that, later, if she ever found a significant other, she’d want her and them to have the same kind of relationships than you. You and Bruce set up a rather high standard for whoever would come into her life. 

But that was another story. For now, she was opening the door slowly, scared of waking you up. But you were awake. 

Bruce was asleep, deeply. As usual when he felt your warmth against him. But you were not. Cass could see you slowly and absentmindedly caress your husband’s hair. It was soothing to both of you. His silky smooth dark hair were soft in between your fingers, and helped you get your mind off of the pain and focus on the sensation, while for him...Well, it put him asleep, when you did that. 

The door creaked a little, and you abruptly turned your head towards it, ready to fight and...You instantly recognize your daughter, even in the dark of the room. 

She doesn’t need to talk. You manage to roll over Bruce, who then by instinct roll too, and therefor you create a little spot for your daughter to climb in bed with you. 

You turn around in Bruce’s arms, and slowly wrap them around your middle, instead of your shoulders. You turn towards Cass, your back against Bruce’s chest, and tap the small spot you managed to create next to you. 

Cass understands, and climbs in, facing you. She lays her head on her arms, as you do the same. And then she mouthes : 

“Sorry mom...” 

And that’s all you needed. You gesture for your daughter to cuddle up close, and she does. By instinct, Bruce lets go one arm off of you, and grabs his kid to bring her closer. He is still asleep, but it wouldn’t surprise anyone that his subconscious holds onto the two most important women in his life like so. 

And there she is. Cass feels safe. And warm. And she hears your heart beat softly. And she knows it partly beats for her. 

And partly for Bruce. And partly for Dick. And partly for Jason. And Tim. And Damian. And Duke. And Alfred. 

It beats for your family. 

For her family.

Family. 

She has a family. 

And you are her mom. 

Her biological father never hugged her, never told her everything was going to be alright, never... 

Cass never felt safe and warm. 

Like she did, right now, held by both you and Bruce. 

“Family...”

She whispers, as she slowly falls asleep. And you’re the only mom she ever wants to have. You are, her real mom. Always have been, always will be. 

DAMIAN 

Damian didn’t really think this was a big deal, at first. 

Just like his father, he often made the mistake to think that people around him will simply understand his true meaning. 

When he told you : “You’re not even my real mom !”, he obviously didn’t mean it. He was angry because you told him he couldn’t go out on patrol for a few days, as he was grounded for skipping school and going to work on cases instead. 

“But school is boring, I already know everything ??” 

“It’s the principle of it, Damian. You can’t just do what you want whenever you want, this is not how it works. I don’t feel like we’re extremely strict parents, so when you betray our trusts like that, it has consequences.”

Bruce kept out of the argument, ready to jump in however if you needed him to affirm  that yes, actions have consequences and although you two are pretty lax with your son on many fronts, he still has to listen. You and Bruce made clear rules when you first adopted Dick, because you realized your lifestyle was anything but normal, but it didn’t mean your children could just do anything they wanted. 

Neither of you wanted them to turn into privileged little brats. Or to think they were above everything. And you were right, by skipping school so much, and lying about it, Damian did betray your trust. 

Understanding actions had consequences was a big step that took a while, with Damian. Unfortunately, he grew up in an environment that indeed taught him he could do whatever he wanted, no matter if he hurt people on the way... 

Unlearning all this, was tough. And you understood that. Which is why you let things go a lot, with him, and only slowly told him about things. Gradually teaching him about your values and principles. 

However sometimes, like in this case, you needed to be firm and strict, because otherwise he’d just keep doing it knowing it had no bad consequences, and you didn’t want him to simply not go to school anymore...School was important for his social development, you realized it as he made friends and...

And simply, an eleven years old kid couldn’t just roam around all day as he saw fit. That’s it. And so here you were, trying to explain this to him. And that’s when he said it. 

He scrunched up his nose like he always did when he was angry, and then, turning his head away from you, throwing his Robin boots at the back of the cave. 

“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not even my real mom !” 

And then he bolted out of the Batcave, leaving you behind, with a broken heart and feeling guilty...What if he hates you, because you were too harsh on him ? 

Bruce, that night, did not go out on patrol either, and stayed with you. Of course, he did. 

************

The fact he still listened to you and didn’t go out, made him thought you knew he was just angry and didn’t mean a word of it. 

To him, it was so obvious he thought of you as his mom, and that he said this just because he wanted to have the last word, that he honestly didn’t think much of it. 

Sure he was frustrated and angry, just like any kid was when their parents said : “no” to them. But he didn't mean it... 

He didn’t really see you of the entire day. Finally, he decided to go see his father to ask him what was up. 

“Father ?”

“Yes ?”

“Is-is mom ok ?”

“Well, what do you think ?” 

“She doesn’t seem ok.” 

“Do you know why ?” 

“Did you do something to upset her ?” 

Normally, Bruce would feel vex at this statement. What, did he really do things to upset you that often ? Yes and now. Sometimes,  he would get on your nerve, and vice versa. It happened, in relationships.

But it was never anything major. Not anymore at least. Because now, when he had his “dark days” and could be a total jerk, you knew how to handle him. You knew not to take his bullshit. 

Yes. Normally, Bruce would pout like a child, at the fact his son thought that his mom was feeling down because of him. But not today. No. 

Because he knew that what made you sad, was something important.

Unfortunately, Damian inherited from him his bad habit of thinking others will understand his meaning. 

Like, when he tried to push you away at first so you wouldn't get involved in his crazy life, what he really wanted was for you to get closer...Or when he told you that he was fine at times, all he wanted was for you to hold him and take care of him etc etc...The first time he told you “I love you”, wasn’t with words, but by not going on patrol one night, to stay with you. And he thought you’d immediately understand that he truly loved you...Truth was, it wasn’t as obvious to you (or anyone really) than it was for him. 

And Damian had the same problem. Doing things that he thought would obviously tell his meaning, his real feelings, when really...No one but him would get it. 

Although you became quite good at deciphering your husband’s true intentions, you could still misinterpret things sometimes. 

And yesterday night, when you grounded your son and tried to teach him a life lesson...You definitely didn’t see that he didn’t mean what he said and just wanted the last word. For you, he was seriously meaning it. And that’s why you were avoiding him a little, because it was too hard to...to... 

Damian’s words truly hurt you. You often were scared he could never see you as his mom (even if he did call you mom now and clearly cared for you) because of how he grew up. You’d never give up on him, of course, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt when he pushed you away or pretended to not care... 

Damian thought it was obvious, that his actions actually reflected how much you meant to him. That without you, he’d be lost and honestly wouldn’t want to live in a world where you weren’t. 

But it wasn’t obvious. 

Bruce sighed, and then smiled : 

“Since when is she acting odd ?” 

“This morning. She didn’t kiss me goodbye when she went to work !”

It felt like such a serious issue to your boy, in that instant, that Bruce wished you were there to see his reaction. You’d instantly know he didn’t mean it, when he said you weren’t his mom... 

But you couldn’t quite face him. You didn’t really avoid him or try to hurt him by not saying goodbye. Of course not, you were an adult, and you definitely knew that doing to others what was done to you is pointless, and mean. And why hurt someone the same way they hurt you ? You’re no better than them uh... 

“Can you think of anything that might’ve upset her ?” 

“I spilled my milk a little, but cleaned it after. I didn’t let Alfred do it like last time. I woke up a minute late, too. Jason hasn’t called in two days, but he was there yesterday afternoon. Dick said she messed up her pumpkin soup but he was just joking and she knows. Tim fell asleep at the breakfast table. You clinging to her this morning apparently made her late, I heard Alfred say it. Um...Cass um...Cass didn’t do anything bad really...None of those things sound like it would upset her though ! She really looked sad this morning, not like herself at all !” 

Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It was pretty cute, how Damian often acted as if he didn’t care about anything, yet no details would ever go past him. Especially not when it came to his family. He always noticed, when one of them felt down in any way, and tried to help (in his own way). 

Hell, he probably woke Tim up and told him to sleep more and take care of himself. Called Jason and told him to call his mom. Scolded Dick to not make this kind of jokes again. 

This was just the Damian that was privy only to them. A sweet child, who unfortunately often had trouble expressing his true feelings. 

Just like his father. 

Damian would often brag about his siblings, and how awesome they were, to his friends (notably to Jon, who didn’t have any siblings). But he’d never tell them right in front of their face. 

Bruce tried to help Damian see what was wrong, and said : 

“What about last night ?” 

“Ugh ? What about last n-OH !” 

Damian replayed the events in his head, and remembered his anger and frustration. But most importantly...What he told his mom. 

“I have to find mom ! Where is she ?!” 

Damian looked absolutely panicked, which was quite unlike him. Bruce answered : 

“She’s at work, she had a meeting with her editor. She should be back soon, though.” 

And on that note, Damian ran out to do god knew what, as Bruce shook his head and...Well, he just knew things would turn out alright. 

************

Alfred almost fainted, when he saw Damian tear off his beautiful flowers from his garden. He almost ran out, and had a very “get off my lawn !” moment...up until he realized that the boy was probably doing this for a reason. 

Oh. Oh his poor lilies.  

Hopefully, this really was for a good reason. A very good one. One so good, that it would stop him from strangling his grandkid, hopefully...

************

When you came home, Damian was waiting for you at the front door. He had a bunch of lilies in his hands (that you were pretty sure were from Alfred’s precious garden) and he looked absolutely frantic. 

He ran to you, almost threw the flowers in your arms, and yelled : 

“I’M SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN IT !! YOU ARE MY REAL MOM ! I WAS JUST ANGRY ! I’M SORRY !!” 

You were a little confused as to why he was yelling, but before you could continue he took a drawing out of his pocket and added : 

“THIS IS A DRAWING OF YOU ! I MADE IT FOR YOU !! YOU ARE MY MOM ! YOU REALLY ARE ! PLEASE FORGIVE ME !! I’M SORRY !! DO NOT BE MAD AT ME !!” 

Still confused as to why he was screaming, you bend down to look at him eye level, settled the flowers on the floor, and said : 

“It’s ok Damian. It’s ok. We all get frustrated sometimes...I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, but it’s ok. It happens.” 

Damian’s face showed great relief, and he leaped into your arms, yelling : 

“I LOVE YOU !!” 

You winced as he screamed in your ear, and said : 

“Why are you yelling, little one ?” 

Damian took a step back from you and said : 

“BECAUSE I HAVE TROUBLE EXPRESSING MYSELF AND JASON TOLD ME THAT SAYING THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE WAY MIGHT HELP !! AND HE’S RIGHT !! I LOVE YOU !!”

Damian told you he loved you before, in certain moments. When he got really hurt, when you were really hurt, if he felt really sad...It was always a moment full of emotions. And it was still rather hard for him to say the words. 

It didn’t really surprise you that Jason would have such a technique. Yelling his feelings. Yep. Sounds like him alright. And it did seem like it worked for his little brother too. 

Only you and your close family would know, because you were the only ones to truly know him, but those two were more similar than others would think. And it wasn’t because they already killed before. Oh no. On the contrary. 

“I love you too, my little one...” 

You say, as he goes back for another hug, clearly relieved you’re not mad at him. From this day on, he swore to himself that he would really try to tell others’ what he truly felt, even if it meant yelling it at them. Because other wise...otherwise it’d create this sort of terrible situations, in which his mom thought he didn’t think of her as his mom ! 

He couldn’t have it, anymore. Many “I LOVE YOU !!” were heard in the Manor, from that point on. 

DUKE 

“You know you can tell me anything, right ?” 

Duke doesn’t know why this time, this made him snap. 

Today was the anniversary of when his parents got “jokerize”, it had been two years already...And not one step closer to cure them ! He was so frustrated, sad, and lost. And you noticed. 

Duke tend to try to keep things inside. Not that he didn’t want to bother anyone, more like he just thought he HAD to handle things himself. Like it would make him stronger, and therefor, he could protect those he cares about. 

He could protect them, unlike when he could do nothing but watch as his parents fell into madness...He couldn’t bear the thought of this happening to you, Bruce, or any member of this family ! Not again. 

He couldn’t bear it...

“You’re not even my mom ! Stop acting like you are !” 

Are the words he heard himself scream at you as you asked him if everything was ok, and if he needed to talk. As you were caring, once again, and he just couldn’t...he couldn’t stand it ! Not today.

Not today. 

He immediately saw on your face the way you shut down, and took one step behind. The way your face “closed”, and as you said : “I understand.” and left the room, your body stiff and your face inexpressive (which was very unlike you), Duke felt it. 

The guilt. 

Right away.

When those dreaded words were said by all your other kids, they were young. They were all under the age of ten, and the immediate consequences of their actions didn’t truly registered. 

But Duke. 

Duke was almost eighteen. And he knew. He knew he hurt you. 

He felt the need to run after you and apologized, but there was something stopping him. 

After all, it was true right, you weren’t his mom ! His mom was still alive, and she could be cured one day ! HE ALREADY HAVE A MOM ! 

So what if you always cooked him his favorite meal, or knew exactly what his favorite food was ? So what if you would go out of your way to grab his favorite burger from his favorite joints when you knew he felt down ? 

So what, if you were always there when he was sad ? Cheering him up with comfort food, kind words, and just your presence ? 

So what if you knew exactly what would make him feel better, which movie to put on to put a smile on his face ? 

So what, if you spend entire night right by his bedside when he got really hurt, or when he was sick ? 

So what if you’d listen to him at any time of the day or night, and always took time to give him your thoughts on the matter, and truly, truly listen to what he was saying instead of waiting for your turn to speak ? 

So what if you’d make him laugh, smile, feel loved, even as he felt so alone and isolated, especially after he discovered his powers ? 

So what if you never made him feel like he was different because of it ? 

So what if you opened your house’s door without a second thought for this unknown teenager who was also a meta ?!

So what...so what...so what if you obviously cared a lot, and if you...if you... 

He already had a mom. And she might get better one day. 

He couldn’t have two moms. 

...

...

Right ? 

What would happen when his parents would be cured ? Forget all his feelings for the Waynes ? So it’d be easier to pretend he wasn’t part of the family, right ? 

It would be easier. 

Yes. 

But it was too late. 

It was too late... 

He ran after you. Caught up with you in the corridor. Tears in his eyes, he said : 

“I’m sorry, please don’t go...”

And fell into your arms. Almost eighteen years old, yes, but still needed the support of a mother. Of his mother. 

And you were there. You’d always be there, no matter what happened in the future. And he needed you, especially in that moment of frustration, where he really missed his parents, and was starting to lose hope to ever find a cure... 

And you were there.

Who ever made a rule that you could have only one mom anyway, right ?

BRUCE 

They did tell him “you’re not my dad !” too. And for him, it was as terrible as for you. If not worst, on certain aspect. Especially since he had a hard times truly expressing his feelings more often than not. 

He knows how devastating it can feel. He knows it even more, because not only did he feel it as they told him “you’re not my dad !”, but he also felt it as he told Alfred “you’re not my dad !”. He knew the feelings from both sides. 

It enhanced everything. 

Of course, in general, Bruce always felt things more than anyone else around him. He was born like that. Hypersensitive. That’s why he worked so much on hiding his true feelings, and appearing detached and cold. 

It’s much easier, than to always being overemotional. Of course, it didn’t mean he felt nothing. On the contrary, he felt everything. He was just better, nowadays, at pretending he was okay. At pretending he didn’t care. 

Ah. But you existed. 

You. 

The only person that could always see through his bullshit, and know when he was lying and fake smiling. 

Between the two of you, there has always been something. Even before you were together. It was an irrational and irresistible attraction. 

An unbreakable bond. Always supporting each others. 

You have no idea how you’d live without him. And he couldn’t even fathom a world without you. It’s a world he wouldn’t like very much...  

Even during the worst times, and oh you went through a lot together, you knew at least...at least you’d have warm arms to fall asleep in. At least, you’d have each others. 

Bruce had known pain so strong he sometimes wished death would just take him away. And then you came in. Ready to put up with his shit, and to not give up on him even when he gave you every reason to. 

And oh, oh he gave you back everything times a thousand. You knew he’d never let you fall. Not alone. 

Whenever something hurtful as your children telling you two you weren’t their real parents happened...It’s when you truly realized how vital you were to each others. 

When you fell, Bruce was there to catch you. 

When he fell, you were there to catch him. 

Better to fall together, than to stand alone. 

__________________________________________________

And here we are :). I hope you liked it ? Don’t hesitate to leave a little feedback and reblog if you want to ^^. I’m a little afraid I disappointed y’all for some reasons haha. I couldn’t explain. Self-confidence crisis hahaha. I finished writing that late, and exhausted after a hard week, maybe it plays into account ? Anyway, I really do hope you enjoyed your time reading this :). And thanks for reading, of course ^^. 

[wesavegotham]

Batman vs Robin #2 is out today, let's see where this story goes after the first issue failed to excite me.

Beware that I'm going to spoil the entire issue, so if you don't want to know what happens, don't read this post.

To start off, this issue did some things better than the first one and other things...not so much.

After Zatanna showed Bruce a place where they will find answers last issue he and Alfred land at the house of secrets:

(Not sure why there is an editor's note reminding us of something that literally happened at the end of the last issue though)

After a greeting from the caretaker of the house, Abel, it shows Bruce and Alfred how Damian got possessed, starting with a flashback to the final of the Lazarus Tournament arc in Robin:

What I liked about this was the moment Bruce tried to catch Damian to keep him from harm because we finally got something from Bruce we didn't see last issue: concern for Damian's wellbeing.

But otherwise, if you already read Robin (2021) there isn't much new information for the reader here and that's a problem with the entire issue. If you read Robin and World's Finest you already know most of the stuff Bruce learns in this.

Waid tries to justify the necessity for this flashback by explaining that Damian didn't tell Bruce everything that went down on the island because of...reasons, but it still feels a bit redundant. Anyway.

In the second room the house shows them what Mother Soul did after her previous demon was killed:

Waid ties the origins of the Lazarus Pits to the elixir Nezha's father used to bring back Nezha in World's Finest...which is fine I guess, just not something I feel we needed?

Once again, it's good that Bruce is shown to care about Damian more than last issue, but the reader already knows Bruce is dealing with Nezha. This mystery Bruce has to solve is no mystery at all for the reader. Which makes it a bit boring.

After that they meet another occupant of the house, Cynthia:

Honestly, I don't know enough about the Sandman universe to have much of an opinion on the characters in the house. But it is nice to see Bruce knowing immediately that she isn't really Talia because he knows her perfume. I take that as a hint that Waid isn't one of the writers who try to reduce Bruce's relationship with Talia to a short fling that had little meaning to Bruce.

So we find out why and how Damian opened the tomb and the answer is....stupidity? Like, come on, you would think after all the magical artifacts Damian had to steal during his year of blood shown in Robin: Son of Batman that he wouldn't just blindly follow a weird artifact pulling him towards something with so few concerns.

Also...erm...remember the last few issues of Robin? That showed us Flatline giving the heart she ripped out of Damian's chest in Robin #1 to Lord Deathman? Who gave it to Mother Soul who needed it for something related to Nezha, who came to her in a dream long ago according to her? Plus, we saw the scene of Damian arriving at the tomb at the end of the first World's Finest arc and at the end of Robin #17 and Damian didn't have this star shaped key. Some things are not adding up here.

Then again, hopefully that's intentional, since we learn that Damian had control over the house of secrets all along apparently? Does this mean he had control over Zatanna too and made her direct them there? Idk. Anyway, maybe this means that Bruce was given incorrect/incomplete information on purpose and there is more to Damian opening the tomb than we were shown here because that explanation was really disappointing.

Also, if Damian was really stupid enough to open the tomb because of reckless curiousity then...no, I don't think he's smart enough to outthink Batman. He didn't show much intelligence in his fight with Bruce in issue one either.

I always thought the Batman 666 suit was ugly and dumb and putting it on a 14 year old Damian didn't make it better. Putting Damian in a batsuit doesn't make him appear more threatening. It just makes me facepalm.

No, putting the adult sidekicks in front of him doesn't help either. Quite the opposite. This is a kid in an ugly Batman costume. With a bunch of older people serving as his Robins now apparently.

Can Waid please define the rules and limitations for Nezha's posession? How many people can Nezha posess at a time? What prevents him from posessing Batman or simply everyone on earth? What does the possession do and what does it not do? Like, earlier in the issue a posessed Damian didn't seem to approve of what they did to Black Alice:

So he still seems to have some compassion left in him. But he wants to kill Bruce? How does this work exactly? It's all too vague for my liking.

Anyway, the issue ends with the reveal that:

...this seemingly isn't Alfred at all, but Nezha instead, watching every step Bruce takes.

But if that is the case, why did he interfere when Damian tried to kill Bruce in the batcave? Did Nezha want Damian to fail for some reason?

I guess I'm genuinely intrigued to find out if all of these inconsistencies are itentional or not. But if it turns out that they weren't...well then this issue was a bit boring. At least if you read the stories this spun out of.

But it was nice to see Bruce care more about Damian here than in the previous issue, which had really kept me from getting invested in yet another Bruce vs Damian conflict. A story like this one simply doesn't work if the protagonist doesn't show care for the posessed person he's forced to fight against.

[analviel]

Idea: ReverseRobins!Damian wakes up in the body of canon!Damian.

Details:

>In both worlds, Tim is Red Robin and Jason is Red Hood.

>Tim in Reverse Robins don't kill people, he maims them, with the belief that without limbs, they're unable to hurt people and can focus on regaining their sanity that way (he died by killing himself after being turned into Joker Jr). "They can regain their minds without their limbs. Especially without their limbs."

>And unlike Lazarus!Jason, his main emotions isn't anger, but apathy. Doesn't care for anything that isn't his Mission. If you get in his way is the only time he'd give you attention.

>Rr Jason took on the name of the Red Hood because it won't be traced back to the Bats (same reason canon!Tim wore Red Robin).

>Damian's reaction to Tim's death hadn't been to retreat, but to lash out. It was a... very bloody few months for Gotham and Bludhaven.

>Rr Tim never went out of his way to try to kill Rr Jason because he, just, doesn't care. But Jason tried to stop him once from brutally maiming someone and the consequences was... bloody, to say the least.

>Rr Tim kind of totally blackmailed Bruce into being his official guardian after both his parents died in Haiti (because Bruce wasn't there to slap the poison from Jack).

>Rr Damian finds it very weird that Jon is younger than him here.

>Because there were already other kid fighters before Rr Tim entered the picture, and he never expressed interest in specializing in combat, Rr Tim had been the sort of Oracle of the Rr Bats, doing most of what Alfred does in the cave so the old butler can focus more on maintaining the manor and also just lightening his burden. He only has Robin sometimes and is mostly trained for mid to long range (because unlike Damian, Steph, and Duke, he didn't come with street fighting experience and since he never pushed, Bruce was fine letting his sort of son do his thing in the background, primarily trained in dodging -Not that it helped him with Harley's mallet, Damian bitterly thinks).

>When ReverseR Tim came back from the League though, he knew how to fight close combat (a Chinese war sword I think is the name of the weapon I'm thinking) which is the main reason the Bats didn't recognize him immediately.

>ReverseR Stephanie was paralyzed and started handling the comms and the medical stuff. She's a med-student but probably has more know how than doctors twice her age. She was Batgirl first then became Spoiler when she pass it on to Cass. Because "Spoiler alert, there's a guy coming up to your ten and Penguin is having his unboxing of some sick weapons".

>Jealousy did get in the way of Rr Damian and Tim's relationship but it had gotten better. The last time they saw each other before Tim was ambushed by the New villain Harley Quinn on the way back home, Damian had thrown him out, tired of people trying to make him feel better after something happened to Jon. (I'm tempted to deage Jon as his canon was aged up.....).

>Rr Jason uses guns and it's allowed because his big brother is Damian.

>Just as Dick set the tone for the following Robins, Damian did the same for his Robin (Hoods). Just as Thirteen Jason had been a much happy and peppy kid than Nineteen year old Dick Grayson, Thirteen Tim is much more like Bruce than Nineteen Damian, so the friction mostly came from there. Also Ra's liked Tim a bit too much so there's also that....

>Rr Damian is absolutely the aloof helicopter parent. Which does sound contradictory, but he makes it work. Rr Damian and Rr Jason have their own version of Dick and Tim's relationship closeness. (The flaw in this is that he's like Bruce in that... if he believes its good for you, he can convince himself he doesn't need to get your consent. He knows better.)

>Rr Jason and Cass are very close but disagree quite a lot. You can always find them bickering. From who's the older one to who gets shotgun in the Batmobile, to things like morals and which classics actually deserve to be burned.

>Talia tossed Jason in the Lazarus but Rr Tim had been healed by Ra's.

>Rr Tim had been tortured same amount of time as Tim Todd, and he also had that chip. Only difference, he'd also been programmed into following Joker's orders to the letter. "Kill him JJ!!" "No! Tim, don't be a killer."

Tim can't kill Bruce. He also can't kill Joker.

There were only three 'hims' in that room.

"Kill him JJ!"

The only reason I want Damian to be there at the scene, like, just a few seconds late, is because I want flashbacks. Then again, he can also just watch the same recording Bruce probably tortures himself by watching too.

>Pre-Jason death was Bruce, Alfred, Dick, and Barbie. Pre-RrTim death was Bruce, Alfred, Damian, Duke, Cass, Steph.

>Young Justice happened too but Tim just had Superboy and Impulse wear cameras and comms. Tho Tim still met Bart personally in civilian. And steadily drawn out eventually for him to appear in person more.

>Not really Bat related, but Kon has a much better reception with Jon excited for a baby brother.

>Rr Dick is A.DO.RA.BLE. And kept far, far away from Rr Tim.

>Rr Barbara is the third Batgirl after Cass becomes Black Bat and Jason is Red Hood.

>During the Bruce is dead (in the Reverse Robins-verse), there is no Battle of the Cowl (duh, no matter what world Tim still wouldn't seek it out without sound and desperate reasons and Damian had literally spent his whole life assurinb his stake on it)(it still happened in canon-verse tho), but I don't know if I want RR!Damian to Possess canon!Damian before, after, or during it. They fully believe that Rr Bruce is dead until Rr Jason's path cross with Rr Tim and Tim.... hmmm, he genuinely doesn't care, so I wonder how and why he's going to drop a hint. This time, Tim knows because he'd seen some ancient records in the League but Tim didn't really pursue that. He wants something from Jason in exchange, and after that hint, Jason then goes on his trip around the world for proof he barely believes is there but can't help but hope. He does not tell Damian because he's not going to give the blood son possible false hope. And also I'm not sure the difference in how Damian would've handled the Robin debacle since Dick wouldn't take it from his big brother, but Kid Dick is a very angry vengeful little shit that really wants to go kill Tony Zucco so.... Jason was probably guilted/forced into passing it on for the kid's sake and there's just a tiny, tiny bit of bitterness.

>And i also want a scene where canon!Tim and Rr!Jason share a commiserating look after having to deal with this shitshow of a family and their respective predecessors' shit.

To elaborate: Timeline is further along in canon. So Reverse Robins are still around dead/lost!Bruce while canon!verse is sometime after they've retrieved Bruce and Dick is out of the Cowl.

[hollandorks]

hello! the opening to this chapter was honestly one of my fave parts of motn so far!! i’m such a sucker for fluff or just cliche sweet things of any kind and the fact that they fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed but woke up entangled makes me feel all fuzzy inside :’)

“He wasn’t hers. But he was alive. And that would be enough.” these lines are so simple but i love them so much?? like it just perfectly shows how she feels about him; she loves him so much that all she wants is for him to be safe (and also she just went through a traumatic experience during which she didn’t know if he’d make it out alive but it’s fine LOL)

“She very carefully scooted backward out of his embrace. It would be weird if he woke up to them like that, wouldn’t it?” GIRL NOO he’s sooo in love with you he would love waking up to you like that 😭

the whispered “hi”to one another are so precious to me 🥺 i love that he didn’t respond to her asking if it was weird. i also love her being distracted by his abs while changing his bandage HAHA like sooo true

i also love her realization that alfred saw them sleeping in the same bed and her being mortified whereas alfred is probably so proud of himself for somewhat orchestrating that LOL

her cleaning everything because she’s feeling too much?? too relatable. when i’m stressed i deep clean my entire room and go for a long runs and i literally can’t function until i do those things. she’s just like me fr loll

ngl i started to get nervous when she went to meet lena!! i didn’t think you would make something bad happen to her again so quickly but god i was nervous! (thank u for not having her kidnapped again or anything in this chapter LOL <3) i’m glad she went to talk to her though!! i really hope lena stays safe 🥺 i wonder if there might be a moment in which lena is endangered but y/n is able to save her (in a way, redeeming herself for not being able to save marie 🥲) spoiler for spider-man nwh but if ur familiar with it (assuming u are because ur pfp/url are iconic tom holland references HAHA) the way that andrew garfield’s peter redeemed himself for gwen’s death by saving mj! that’s just a tangent my brain went on and although i hope no more girls get taken it would be an intense moment for sure!!

i love how during their conversation, she gets a bit mad at lena. she’s still so upset about marie and the fact that she couldn’t save her :( and she’s mad about the fact that bruce almost died for her because of those men :( i love how desperately she wants to solve this and have the whole operation ended. she really is just like bruce.

ALSO! i love the mentions of the upcoming gala because i have a feeling that our favorite billionaire is gonna go and take a certain somebody as his date 👀 we love a good gala scene

her horrible lying to alfred when he totally already knew she was lying about going to the store for tampons?? so good

BRUCE WATCHING THE FOOTAGE!!!! this had me so shook for some reason (i mean like, it had her shook too!) he must be so upset watching that back and hearing her tell him to leave her to die :(( the “blazing expression on his face”! you know he just can’t stop thinking about the fact that she told him to leave her. he hates that she said that and he doesn’t know that she feels the same exact way about him almost dying for her agh!!

“Press her fingers into his skin so she could feel the reassuring warmth of his aliveness. Touch him until he saw just how much she loved him and how much she hated that he had almost died for her.” THESE SENTENCES. dying. no words. i just love it

loved his immediate freakout about her going back to the iceberg lounge. he’s so protective and it’s adorable. i’m so glad she’s letting him pay off her debts now. sugar daddy bruce wayne moment!! 😻 (i’m sorry for that💀) i mean, it’s unfathomable that she’d go back now anyway because she just like can’t after the other night, but still!! i love that she (nervously) joked about him only doing it because she saved his life and him just seriously assuring her that that’s not the reason why. he’s so serious when it comes to her safety ahh 🥺

i do wonder what the penguin’s reaction will be to her debts being completely paid off. like ofc he’ll know it’s by bruce wayne. idk if it’ll just be inconsequential (he is the type of guy to not care as long as he has his money but like… he’s still sketchy…) or if this might lead to something occurring?? lol idk where my mind is going with this!!

her just blurting out the truth about why she told him to leave 💀💀 AHHHH bruce is probably gonna be so stressed about that :( i can’t wait to see his reaction!!

also! if u do like the songs that remind us on motn i will literally send u one every chapter because i do in fact have a bruce wayne playlist (i have brAIN ROT💀 from this movie)

i think iris by the goo goo dolls is SUCH a bruce song and ESPECIALLY with his feelings towards her in motn 🥺

anyway, i really loved this chapter and i’m so excited for the next one! and i hope you feel better soon!!

🖤

***CH 22 SPOILERS***

I'm a sucker for the fluff and cliche too!! Sharing a bed (or there's only one bed) is one of my all-time favorites.

Love that you noticed those lines 🥺 I'm really proud of lines like that and I adore when people notice them.

And again....this fic is idiots to lovers and I stand by it.

I too would be distracted by his abs. Every time I watch the movie I'm watching his muscles, so. It's valid.

I also relate to focusing on other things (cleaning or otherwise) when feeling too much. Is it healthy? I'm not sure. But I do it.

Yes I've seen nwh so I get the reference!! (And yes I went through a Tom Holland phase and I'm still not totally out of it!)

Love that you noticed the similarities between her and Bruce!! 🥰

What was I just saying about favorite cliches?? Gala scenes are included! 👀

Can't get over you pointing out your favorite sentences. It literally makes me smile so big!! 🥺

😂😂 sugar daddy bruce wayne. I mean, that is kind of the moment. That's what's happening pretty much 😂

And yes the songs!!! I love people sending me songs!! And that song is perfect. Like we already know Bruce listens to music like that too. So it's perfect. 🥺

Thank you, slowly but surely feeling better!! ❤️

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Smiler

Warning: Flufffffffffffff Word count: 2,1k   Summary: Damian Wayne doesn’t smile. Ever. So when he suddenly starts to do so after reading text messages and receiving calls from an outsider his siblings get suspicious. Shenanigans ensue. Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader

Requested by the lovely-dove(l)y(?) Anon again: My second request is Damian is getting random phone calls during the day where he just smiles and walks away to answer it ( it’s the reader on the phone) and everyone is really confused so when he sneaks out they follow him and meet her

A/N: Again SKSKSKSKSK So much fluffffffffffff (a bit less than the other one, but still, I think it’s fluffy), also I decided to end this with the same sentence as the otehrs one because of the similarities and because it just kinda fits I think. 

Damian Wayne was never a smiler. Certainly not before he came to the manor nor after. If he ever smiled it was either through Schadenfreude or it was plainly fake. Everybody knew that: his father, his siblings, the media, his teachers, just everybody. Seeing Damian smile was like an evil omen, and you felt the urge to get your ducks in a row, just in case he’d kill you in a few minutes, mainly if his smile is directed at you. It was like having a lion look at you and fletch its teeth. So imagine how Dick felt when he had Damian smile while they were having a fight. One second he’s screaming at him about what in Imbecile he is, the next second he looks down at his phone laying on the coffee table and smiles. And not one of his evil smirks that you get when he knows you’ll get hurt or embarrassed in some way soon, or one of those fake smiles Bruce had got him to give the high and mighty at Galas, No. It was a real, genuine smile. One he had never seen before. “Damian?” he couldn’t help but try to get his attention back but found himself regretting it when instead of explaining or sharing what made him smile, he immediately went back to insulting him. The next time that happened was shortly after one night of patrol with Damian, Tim and Bruce. The latter sent the two boys home and to bed and decided he’d stay out a bit longer on his own and contact Jason if he needed help. And when the two of them came back into the cave, Tim spectated something completely stunning. While he decided to stay in the suit and sat down at the batcomputer to keep on working, Damian informed him that he’d go shower. But before he disappeared into his father’s office and consequentially into the manor, he walked over to a locker-like shelf in one of the corners near the batcomputer where they sometimes stored their phones and wallets during the patrol. He let the construct scan his hand, alerting Tim to look into the direction with the ‘blob’ sound it made when it opened. And then he saw it. A smile, a real genuine smile like the one Dick had experienced only a day earlier. Tim wasn’t able to see what he was looking it, only knowing that he had only stored his phone in the locker, but he knew it must have been something incredible if it could make Damian smile as simple as that. For a moment, Tim considered asking, considered finding out what in the world could make this happen, but before he could do anything, Damian - and his phone - had disappeared up the stairs.

After that, it started happening more and more often. It wasn’t limited to small glances at Damian’s phone and then a smile, no, now it was him staring and typing (obviously texting with someone) for minutes at a time, keeping smiling or letting small smiles out every now and then and, which stunned them the most, the moments when his phone vibrated and he smiled before leaving the room to answer it. The fact that he smiled? Almost impossible. The fact that he actually took the call? A straight-out miracle. Damian almost never answered his phone, be it over text or call, unless it was his father, Alfred or if he knew it was important and was spammed enough by whoever wanted him to answer. Now, in theory, it might have been, in fact, Bruce who was calling him - even though that wouldn’t explain the smiles - but a key piece of evidence that disputed that was the fact that more than once Bruce was inside the room when it happened. So that eliminated him as a subject. Alfred was out of the question for obvious reasons and Damian’s siblings weren’t even on the list. So who could it actually be? It had to be an outsider, right? “Maybe it’s Jon? Or Billy?” Tim suggested as he sat on the Batcomputer and talked to his siblings who were on patrol. Damian had been grounded for the day earlier because he almost punched a lady in the grocery shop and Bruce was with the league. “Nah, I don’t think so,” Steph replied over the sound of punches being thrown and a man groaning until there was a ‘thump’ and it was silent again. “Yeah, me neither,” Dick agreed, “I mean he’d sell Billy for a single cent and even if he confesses that he’s actually friends with Jon, he wouldn’t smile at or because of him to save his life.” “Right, well that’s all I had,” Tim shrugged and typed away on the keyboard while half-mindedly listening to his siblings discusses the matter over the coms. He was about to stand up, and make himself a cup of coffee when something in the corner of his eyes caught his attention. “Guys,” he smirked and sent them all a screenshot of one of his surveillance monitors, “You are not gonna believe that.”

“I’ve got my eyes on the prize,” Jason whispered happily while sitting on his parked bike, dressed in his civilian clothes, and spectating a very suspicious Damian walking through the streets of Gotham City in a black hoodie and black pants as if he tried to impersonate any wannabe robber in a Hollywood movie, the hood drawn over his face. “Anything suspicious yet,” Steph asked, he tone still slightly annoyed with the fact that she wasn’t the one to follow Damian because she was on patrol and had to leave it to Jason and Cas. “For Damian? Not really, nothing unusual yet. Isn’t the first time he sneaked out and it sure as hell won’t be the last time.” Jason watched as his little brother looked around as if he was being followed - which admittedly he was - but Jason and Cas, who was taking the roof-route, even though she too was in her civilian clothes, were careful enough not to let him catch them. “You see that?” Cas asked him and the two of them watched as Damian got his phone out, smiled a little, stuffed it back into his hoodie pocket and entered a small café, not the kind of place that Damian would usually go into. “Now that is… interesting,” Jason muttered to no one in particular and quickly gave Cas a nod who came jumping down from the fire escape of the building a few feet away from him. He got off of his vehicle and put on some shades and a baseball cap to keep himself somewhat incognito, before crossing the streets and entering the establishment himself, making sure to keep out of Damian’s sight and slipping into a booth in the corner from where he could see his brother’s back turned to him. A few minutes passed before anything happened- except for Cas who slipped into the seat opposite him in silence, and they started to wonder what Damian was doing there. It looked like he was waiting for something to happen, or rather someone if you took the untouched steaming cup in front of him into account, but he didn’t seem impatient or annoyed or any of the other things he usually was with even the smallest things. They couldn’t see his expression or his face, but he once again pulled out his phone when he received a call and even with only his backside in view both Jason and Cas could make out the bright expression that painted his face. He turned around in his seat and Jason laid his chin into his hand, elbow on the table, to hide as much of his face as possible, and Cas turned as far as possible without looking unsuspicious. Because of this Cas missed what Jason was able to see. She missed the girl that stepped into the cafe with her phone against her ear. She was around Damian’s age and wrapped into a trenchcoat along with a scarf that looked just a little bit too much like the one Damian had bought a few weeks earlier on a fair Dick had dragged him to. Back then he hadn’t explained himself, only scoffing at his siblings’ comments about it and they all just made up their own theories. that it maybe was a gift for Steph’s upcoming birthday, or that it was maybe supposed to be something to strangle someone with. The girl looked around the café and her already shining eyes got even more bright when they landed on Mister grumpy who had stood up at this point. she lowered the phone and almost jumped over to where Damian was standing, falling into his open arms, giggling quietly. “What the-” Jason muttered, prompting his sister to follow his gaze only to almost freeze on the spot when catching the sight. The girl and Damian managed to tear away from each other’s arms and slip into the booth that Damian had occupied earlier. She took a sip of the drink Damian had ordered for her and seemed to thank her from what Jason could read from her lips. He couldn’t read Damian’s lips with his brothers back turned to him, but whatever he said made the girl blush immensely and shyly turn her head away, causing a strand of her y/h/c hair to fall into her face. Cas and Jason couldn’t stop staring at the two of them, the whole scene so surreal. It was Damian Wayne they were seeing there, the ‘Don’t touch me I’ll bite off your fingers one after another’ Damian Wayne. And he had hugged this girl like his life depended on it and now, this was maybe the weirdest thing yet, he reached over the table to brush the hair out of the girls face, but instead of pulling the hand back again, he cupped her cheek and she practically melted into his touch. “Jason, don’t-” Cas tried to hold Jay back when he stood up and started to make his way over to the other booth, but he didn’t let himself be stopped so the only thing Cassandra could do was to go along with it. The girl who sat facing their direction caught sight of them first and seemed - understandably so - confused when the extremely tall man with the shades and baseball cap and the girl that she could swear looked familiar walked right over to them and stepped beside their table. That was when Damian noticed her distracted eyes and followed them only to let that look of being caught flash over his face before he quickly hid it under a facade of annoyance. He pulled his hand away from the girl’s cheek, but left it in front of her on the table, ready to grab her hand at any given moment. “What are you doing here, Todd?” he asked, clearly not fooled by his disguise, before turning to his sister, “And you Cain? I expected this from an imbecile like him, but I had higher expectations in you.” “Damian who are-” the girl tried to ask, but was interrupted by Jason. “You’re one to talk Brat, I very clearly remember the old man grounding you so guess how surprised I was to see you here.” “Wait, Dami you’re groun-” “This is none of your business Todd, leave us alone,” Damian scoffed and balled the hand that wasn’t near the girls into a fist. “Hmm,” Jason acted like he was thinking about it, but it was clear for everyone involved that it was nothing but an act, “Nah, I don’t think so.” Much to the dismay of a by now very, very annoyed Damian he pushed him further into the booth to the windows and let himself fall onto the couch-like seat beside him, now directing his attention to Damian’s friend. Cas send the girl a sorry smile before slipping into the seat beside her. “Todd? What are you do-” Damian wanted to ask, but Jason shushed him. “You don’t want Bruce to find out you sneaked out?” he asked and was validated by the silence that followed from his little brother, “Well then, I guess this is gonna be an interesting evening then, mind introducing me to your-” he seemed to search for the appropriate word, “-Companion?” The girl was utterly confused by now and switched looking over the faces of the people surrounding her only to land on Damian’s when he took ahold of her hand and pushed it like he was trying to silently apologize. “This is Y/N, she’s my girlfriend. Y/n, this idiot is Jason Todd, unfortunately, my older brother, and Cassandra, my sister,” he introduced and the eyes of everyone involved widened. “You have a lot to explaining to do young man…”

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

Can you write something where the shyest boys finally kiss their crush at a party in a human au. But then some other mischievous character catches it on camera. Then they try to show it to everyone to tease them? (Not really maliciously more playfully. More like a trickster.) Sorry, but I am a sucker for shy characters since I am shy myself.

So my shy boys in my human AU are Japan, Canada, Russia and England (I'd put Romano but he's just a lone wolf who tends to bite when he's disturbed. Metaphorically.)

A/N: I HIT ONE OF MY NOTIFICATION POP UPS AND IT FORCED ME OUT OF THE FIRST DRAFT! I had to redo Japan and Canada's scenerios •́ J ,•̀

Human AU: Shy Boys kiss their crush! On TAPE!?

Japan:

He wasn't really enjoying the party Alfred was throwing. The only reason he was there was over the fact he promised to record some footage for a homemade music video, and he knew his crush was going to be there.

At some point he found himself watching his crush as they danced away with their friends. Was it kind of creepy? Yes. Did Kiku realize this at the moment? No.

He just about jumped out of his skin as his crush made eye contact with him, and his heartbeat quickened as they started dancing towards him.

"Hey Kiku! I thought you didn't like parties?"

"H-hai! I do not usually partake in such events, but I promised Alfred I'd get footage for one of his YouTube videos..."

His crush's head tilted, not hearing him through the loud music and talking. Even with him shouting he wasn't loud enough. So naturally he had them follow him to the porch.

He could have sworn that every star in the night sky was reflecting in his crush's eyes as they were waiting for him to repeat his anwser.

"I have to admit to some urges that have been occuring..." (Not what he was hoping he'd say)

Kiku cringed at his wording, and cursed himself for cramming so many english classes in before he transferred to America. He only calmed back down after hearing his crush laugh and egg him on to continue.

"I... kisu si te ii desu ka?" (Can I kiss you?)

Even though he was rather nervous, he was pretty close with his crush. During their lunches they asked him to teach them japanese so they can help him with translations. Even after two years they still had trouble with it.

"... What about a kiss? oh! Did you kiss someone at the party!"

His face turned red, and he shook it rapidly.

"No! You!"

"What do I have to do with a kiss and you- Oh!"

Kiku covered his face as his crush slowly caught on to his question. Soon enough they had taken his hands away, and lightly pecked his lips.

Flash.

That looked like the flash of a camera. Sure enough Alfred and England were standing at the doorway, polaroid camera in hand. Al being his usual loud self.

"I saw you bring them out here and just KNEW something was going to happen! Didn't I tell you, you had it in you! Now the whole class must know of your bravery!"

By the time Alfred finished his speech, Kiku was already after him. Sadly he was no match for Al's speed due to tripping over everyone, and everything.

Canada:

It wasn't like he was exactly shy, but he didn't have many friends since not many people in his class had much in common with him. His only real friend was his crush, so of course he was terrified to ruin that friendship. Though the constant jokes the others at the party made didn't help, since most of it revolved around them dating.

He was also getting more and more frustrated with the amount of attention his crush was getting. Some of it they welcomed with open arms, some of it not so much. The thing that really annoyed him was seeing Alfred himself flirt with them.

This was the final straw that gave him the courage to walk up to him, and accuse him directly.

"Why are you flirting with my date?"

"Date? I thought you said they were just a friend?"

Mathew had turned his head towards his crush, and planted a light kiss on their lips.

"There. Now we are!"

Matt's face went pale as he realized the scene that was playing out got the attention of some party goers. Phones already recording in case a fight broke out. Leaving no possibly way to get everyone to delete those videos.

Not realizing his crush had a hold of his hand to prevent any conflict, he tugged them out the door, trying his best to shield his face.

Once outside they both sat on the stone slabs of the sidewalk. Matt's crush clearing their throat to help stop the akward moment.

"You know... If you wanted to kiss me, you should have just asked..."

"Oh maple leaf! I am so sorry! I didn't even know I had it in me!"

His crush shook their head, chuckling, then leaned in for another kiss.

"There. Now we're even."

All matt could do was repeat their words with a dreamy sigh.

"Now we're even..."

Russia:

Ivan was already pretty shy, but he really wanted to hangout with his crush. So he let them rope him into going to the party Francis was having. It was a small party, so it wasn't all bad. Other than no one wanting to talk to him due to his lack of English.

His crush was certainly doing plenty of talking through out the night though, and they eventually pulled him aside to ask him something.

"Hey, Ivan? You okay? You don't look like you're enjoying yourself much".

His crush knew to keep sentences as simple and short as possible since he struggled with English. But he still managed a good enough response.

"Da. I am... Not good at the parties. Not one person, speeches? To Ivan..."

His crush smiled, reaching up to playfully ruffle his hair, earning a small giggle.

"You mean to say 'no one speaks to me'. I'm sorry. It can be hard, da?"

He nodded at them. Giving a smile knowing his crush at least tries to conversate with him. But there was something else on his mind. The more they talked, the more he seemed to stare at their lips. He was struggling more and more with hiding his blush. Eventually his crush took it as a sign he was overheating and they dragged him to the bathroom to splash water to his face.

"It is too warm for a turtle neck and scarf! Your face is very warm!"

Ivan shook his head, face getting redder from the embarrassment.

"Nyet!"

His crush gave a look of confusion, and Ivan took this as a sign to try and explain.

"You do much of the talking. I... Do much of the seeing. Nyet. I do much of the-"

He gestured his gaze to his crush's lips, unable to convey his message and when it still didn't sink in for them, Ivan did the next best thing out of pure frustration.

He kissed them. It felt like forever, but it was cut too short as the sound of a gasp interrupted them. Breaking away he spotted Francis standing at the door that was left wide open. A phone with the light on, signalling it was recording them.

"Oh ho ho! This is quite the confession! A love that goes beyond language barriers is just as strong as love itself!"

Ivan couldn't seem to follow Francis' words, especially because he was more concerned with the phone footage.

"You take video for just us, da?"

Francis gave a smirk and took off without another word. Ivan wasn't dumb when it came to body language, and he took off after him. Taking no time at all to corner Francis, scaring everyone else as the two of them bickered over the phone.

"Throw out the phone!"

"I will do no such thing!

"I will throw you instead!"

It took his crush snagging the phone and deleting the video for everything to finally settle back down.

England:

He was kind of popular in the sense everyone knew him as the punk kid who could play the electric guitar. But so did others students so he wasn't exactly special. So yeah, he was wicked shy and insecure about how everyone viewed him.

But his crush seemed to treat him differently, and honestly? He was secretly hoping that meant they really liked him. Maybe even more than liked!

The best part is, he wasn't even expecting his crush to show up at some random person's party. He, himself, was only there to help a band entertain. But there they were, his crush, dancing and bopping along to the music.

He found himself making a lot of eye contact with them, and when the first break came around, he bounced off the makeshift stage. His crush immediately walking over to him to pester.

"That was amazing! I didn't know you played so well!"

Arthur pulled at his bangs.

"Thanks love. It means quite a lot coming from you. Especially because you didn't expect to see me here, of all places..."

"Actually I-"

Before they could continue, they were dragged off by some of their friends to be introduced to someone. He decided to follow, wanting to know what the fuss was about. And of course his crush's friends were trying to hook them up with... Francis...

He gave a verbal sigh, watching his crush shift uncomfortably as Francis did his best to act all suave. His crush looked back at him with pleading eyes. This gave him an idea.

He walked over, slinging an arm around their shoulder, speaking up and over their conversation.

"There you are darling! I've been searching the whole bloody house for you! Oh, hello Francis. I didn't see you there!"

Things got intense, and before anyone knew it, Francis and Arthur had gotten into a fist fight. There wasn't a particular winner, but Arthur certainly left the fight with the only bruised lip. Sitting at one of the spare couches, his crush tended to the bruise.

"I can't believe you did that! Are you nuts? Why do you two fight anyway!"

"I'm sorry love... It's just... He gets in the way is all".

"In the way of what? Some male pride?"

"...you"

Silence filled the space between them, only to be broken by the chaste and airy kiss from his crush.

"I didn't know..."

"Part of me didn't want you too..."

Neither of them knew someone had recorded them until the day they returned to the college. Someone had thought it was funny to make a "fancam" of Arthur "fighting for his loved one". The only words his new lover could mutter was:

"At least no one is going to have to ask us if we're together now..."

[lovecinnatwist]

So I know you wrote a star sapphire Dick au, but I raise you a star sapphire Jason au—he always seems to love everyone around him a lot more than they seem to love him and he just wants to be loved so badly poor baby

Hello Anon! I loveeee this idea! You didnt specify a pairing so I've made it gen. Let me know if you have a pairing in mind. I've left it open for ideas.

All are welcome to slide into my DMs with ideas for star sapphire!Jason.

Lanterns Lead Home

The first moment of consciousness Jason Todd has after being beaten to- not death apparently- is warmth. 

The fuzzy feeling of being held by what must be twenty different pairs of hands pulls him back as he wakes. Every broken sob and desperate scream that wants to rattle free of his chest melts away into nothing. The air itself seems to vibrate with something sweet that he can’t put a name too. Every draw of breath fills him with kindness until he can recall the feeling-

love.

Tender touches chase away the bruises and scars until he can’t remember if they were ever there. Soft and caring caresses cup his cheeks and soft lips kiss away his tears. It’s too much and something that he’s been without for so long. For a moment he thinks of Catherine. Who she had been before the drugs. The thought of her breaks something in his chest. He cries and what seems like dozens of voices echo out validations. They sing back welcoming calls to release and let go.

So Jason does but he’s still floating. Still in the warm embrace of what he realizes must be his sisters. They must be because they call him that over and over and over again. A cup of something sugary comes to his lips and he gulps it down greedily. It coats his insides sweeping through him like a scolding saccharine syrup.

Consciousness starts to slip again but insistent slaps to the face jolt him awake. 

‘ Not yet. ‘

He knows what the words are but his ears don’t actually hear them. The woman over him has blue skin and gorgeous eyes that see into everything he is. He wants to turn away from it but she holds him steady. There is another cup. She makes him drink and this time Jason feels like he’s suffocating. 

He swallows more cups until he feels like he's at his limit. Then the hands are moving him and the rocking motion makes him feel sick. He passes from one hand to another until someone is bringing him to his knees in front of a huge glittering basin. 

“ Purge Ja’s Purge and be reborn. “

He feels dizzy and sick. Like he’s still rocking. He clenches onto the cool surface ahead of him. He tries to collect himself but memories start surfacing like bile in his throat. He remembers everything in startling detail. It all flashes before him until he flies forward and purges. 

He shakes and shudders through it. The loud cheers after every heave grounds him in support. Many hands hold him to stop him from falling in but no one stops him from emptying everything that he is into the quickling filling basin. 

He trembles and they replace that one for another. He can’t believe there’s more to give but everytime he feels peace a vile memory twists up and sends him face first into the bucket. By the time he’s thoroughly wrung out and empty- gentle hands pull him up. He doesn’t fight as he’s taken by many hands to a cool pool that bubbles against his skin. It fizzes and sizzles but doesn’t burn as his body is submerged. His eye lashes flutter. 

He gets a vague glimpse of blue skin and pinks and then someone tells him to hold his breath. 

He does and goes under. Everything goes black. 

Most Pink Lanterns don’t need to go through the rebirth. At least that is what Ja’s has heard from the others. The ring finds them before anything bad can happen. Usually during high emotions of love or joy something Ja’s has felt little of. Or well maybe that isn’t quite right. 

He does love, he loves everything. He loves hard, fast, passionate and ferociously but sometimes it feels like there isn’t any left for him. Sure he’s had people care for him, but to choose him first? To love him first…. Wilis loved money, then Catherine loved the drugs, then there's Bruce who loved the Crusade and Alfred… well Alfred could never love him more than Bruce. 

It had been that that drove him to Ethiopia in the first place.

He remembers everything in startling clarity now. His birth, his life, his death and of course both rebirths. It’s hard to forget the feeling of splitters digging into your fingertips and the taste of mud as you dig yourself out of your own grave. Who knows how long he had been wandering Gotham in a fuzzy haze? No one found him, no one had been looking for him. At least that's what he thought until he saw a pink glow.

The star sapphire. His star sapphire to be precise. 

Lost in the memory he gently touches the gem. It’s a wonderment, meeting the sisters of the lanterns corps and of course… getting permission to be- well who he's always known himself to be, Ja’s as they call him.

It had been freeing to be allowed to be nurturing. To be allowed to be tender and to care. Despite the changes that he’s gone through he feels more like himself than ever before. Like his body suddenly fits and he is grateful for the Zamarons for allowing him the ceremony. They honor his pronouns, as they all honor and celebrate femininity as its essence and not as sex or gender. Ja's has learned nothing if not the suffering of smothering his divine feminine in his last life. 

Now he is free.

( He tells himself that's why he hasn’t gone home to Gotham. Not because the existence of the third Robin Bruce has replaced him with. )

He does a good job at ignoring his old life and memories for the most part too. The few indulges he allows are watching digital transmissions of different versions of pride and prejudice with his sisters. Even in space nothing seems to beat human literature, something that Ja's gets to share with the others. He learns how to love deeper. Not only himself but more importantly everyone and everything. Mostly in the emotional sense… while the others- well Ja's isn’t quite ready for the sexual sense yet. 

Like many of the Pink Lantern Corps he has yet to meet his soul mate. 

The thought flutters low in his stomach. While he could easily show someone their love in his ring, the power didn’t work for star sapphires themselves. They simply had to wait for the pull and circumstance when they would feel the electricity in the air. Other members in the corps said that the feeling is indescribable. Like swallowing lightning or crashing into a planet with nothing to cushion the fall.

Though unfortunately, most of his sisters felt that with every good looking creature they came across. 

Ja's takes a drink, lounging about in the Green Lanterns station. They’re taking a short interlude before heading back home. One that the others are taking full advantage of.  It’s kind of embarrassing how the revealing costume and reputation of his corps makes others stare. He hears the whispers and feels the eyes on him just as clearly. 

It’s stupid because he isn’t even the best looking of them all. In a universe full of aliens most lanterns find humans rather dull. He hears the giggles as the others flirt. That’s all it is sometimes, flirting. While other times- Ja's turns the blind eye to Nadia’s wink as she disappears with a lantern down the corridor. He doesn’t flush long familiar with their games. Still a little part of him feels empty.

If only he could give as freely as they did. 

The chair next to him creeks making him sigh. Great, another lantern trying their luck. Couldn’t they tell he just wants to finish his drink in peace? He turns around to give the person a piece of his mind, anger already hot on his tongue. 

That is until playful green eyes fall on his. Ja's immediately tries to escape but Ryner grabs his wrist.

“ Well if it isn’t my favourite Star Sapphire. “

Ja's knows there’s no way he’s going to be able to pull the other off without causing a scene. He gives one more futile tug while Kyle just raises an unimpressed eyebrow. He groans just as the lantern orders himself his own drink. 

“ What do you want Ryner? “

The green lantern only lets go when he’s sure Ja's won’t run. Which is funny considering the fact that he's always running. Whether it be from bad guys, suitors or most times his sisters. It’s something that comes from growing up on the streets. The only place he’s ever felt safe had been… warm memories of the manor and Bruce's smile tug at his heart.

“ What makes you think I want something Ja’s? “

The very clear inflection of his voice Ja's wants to say. The other human has always made himself a pest whenever their corps comes to visit. It’s probably because they are both humans and around the same age. Not that they’ve really spoken about how they both ended up here. 

He doesn’t answer Ryner and takes a sip of his drink instead. The playful smile on the green lantern holds no matter how long Ja's ignores him. 

“ So I'm going down to Terra thought maybe you’d like to come? Apparently Batman could use some extra hands. “

At the mention of Batman Ja's interest piques. It’s rare to hear about anyone from his former life. Of course he does look through mission logs from time to time. It’s public access in the lantern corps library after all- but otherwise it's uncommon for Bruce to ask for help. The last thingJas's saw was Batman, Nightwing and Robin rescuing Hal from a villain he didn’t recognize. 

Ryner is either ignorant to his inner conflict or ignores it. 

“ It’ll be fun. You know Bats never lets us in his city. Could be nice? We could get a burger afterwards. Maybe catch a movie. “

It sounds like a date. Ja's would think it’s one too if he hadn’t told Ryner exactly how he feels about those things. He’s a nice guy, not bad looking from what he can see… but still he needs- well he wants the spark. 

He meets the boyish smile with a frown but it does nothing to make it go away. He shouldn’t. He’s done pretty well ignoring both earth and the bats. Still the big huge heart in him wants. He wants to see Bruce again and help him. 

A tiny part of him wants to go home and pretend like his dad still loves him even though he’s gone and gotten a new kid. One who’s probably in Ja’s room with all new clothes that are fitting of a good son. A loved son. 

Ryner bumps shoulders with him pulling him out of his head. His ring had begun to flicker a bit from the emotional distress. The other human places a hand over it to block the light and Jason let’s him. It’s a distraction. 

“ C’mon Ja’s Earth isn’t like you remember it. Let me show you a good time? “

That stupid hopeful smile and the shy way Ryner really looks at him hurts. He’s weak to things like this. People actually caring about him. He’s practically starving for it. He swallows down his protest. After all it would probably be nice to see his family again. They probably wouldn’t even recognize him. He could go and help and then maybe take up Ryner on his offer for a burger. 

Something light. Something Casual. 

“ Fine.. That sounds ok- I’ll go. “

Ja's wishes he could ignore the stupid happiness radiating off of the other lantern. 

“ Swear to God Ja’s this is going to be so much fun- You aren’t gonna regret it. There’s this one place that serves burgers like the size of your head and the art on the wall is just so hilarious- “

Ja's rolls his eyes as he finishes the last of his drink. 

“ Shut up Ryner and don’t make me regret this. “

The green lantern mims zipping his mouth shut and Ja's laughs.

Turns out he’s actually right as well. 

Jas's hasn’t been to Earth in years and it really shows. The place looks different. Even Gotham in all its dirt and grime feels foriegn to him. He joins the other lanterns in their job of catching and sending the aliens back to a prison at the corps. It’s fun with the little quips the Green Lanterns seem to toss back and forth between one another. Jason isn’t used to it but it’s a vibrant kind of energy that leaves a smile on his face even while he’s fighting. 

With the group supers the battle is over quickly. Quick enough and Ja's finds himself disappointed. He doesn’t know why but ever since they’ve been back in Gotham he has been positively vibrating. It’s new and exciting and maybe it’s because he caught a few glimpses of familiar capes and blue. 

When they all land on the roof for briefing Ja's feels like he’s about to burst from the excitement. 

This time when Ryner bumps into his shoulder it isn’t quite as annoying and he bumps back. It’s playful and light which seems to be the mood with them all. That is until Batman comes down with his dark dramatics.Jas's goes stone still at the sight of him. A blue and Black shadow follows behind before the bright colors of Robin pop up the edge of the building. 

It’s- strange to him. Like being on the wrong side of a mirror. He takes in what he can see of Bruce’s face from under the mask. The worn lines seem just too deep to be on the man he thought of as his father. Even Dick’s posture feels different and the new Robin… Well Ja's wishes he could say he feels anger but if anything he just feels- strange. There’s also something else. It’s slow and thrumming in his mind like he’s running on outdated software. His entire body itches all over and all he wants is to get closer. He needs to be closer. Close enough to touch, feel and just make sure they're real. That they are who he remembers and not just a figment of his imagination-  

Ryner nudges him and Ja's hisses under his breath. 

“ We gotta go. Didn’t you hear the man? “

Ja's had not heard him. The soothing quality of Bruce’s voice always made it hard to focus. The dark timber of it has always been more relaxing than menacing in his opinion. Just- being so close to them but not with them feels so strange. He knows he has to go over there. It’s been years and he probably doesn’t even fit in space left. There's anxiety at the thought, to go home he'd be willing to cut away any parts of him that he needed to. He swallows. It’s a sad and small mindset, something that he’s supposed to be better than by now. 

“ Heard him say what? “

Someone clears their throat and now there’s all eyes on them. Apparently they weren’t being as quiet as they thought.

“ That your help has been appreciated but you are not welcome in my city. “

Hearing it and knowing it are two different things. While Ja's always knew how Bruce felt about metas and supers, actually being told to leave is equal parts hilarious and frustrating. The itch that has been nagging him turns into an entire rash. He takes two steps forward but Ryners hand stops him from closing the distance. He shrugs off the touch, it doesn’t feel right. 

“ Yea? And who decides who comes into Gotham. Last I checked I have a birth certificate sayin i’m Gothamite and that means I can come to this cesspool whenever I want. “

He spits the words in the accent to prove a point. He’s giving away too much- too much information. He knows how Bruce obsesses over identities. It's not like the corps where everyone knew everything. A few people look around and Jas's suddenly feels even smaller. Ryner pulls him back and he can’t get himself to move. He just stares at Bruce hoping- wishing that the man will know it’s him. That he’ll close the distance and hug him and hold him. That he’ll smell like home like he always did when Jason could fit on his lap. 

Because as many sisters as he has now he only has one living father, brother and grandfather. He only has them and Jason wants so badly to be told that he could have them again. Space has never felt like much of a home. As much as the others made efforts they’re versions of love and his are different. He clung to the idea of meeting a soul mate and being full but now that he’s actually in front of Bruce he just wants to be here. With his dad. 

The shush on the roof is eerie. Ryner pulls harder and this time Ja's stumbles back. 

“ Ja’s lets go. “

The hardness of his voice spurs him into action. Bruce doesn’t move. He doesn’t move an inch and it hurts so badly he thinks he might die. When the lanterns take off he hesitates for just a moment. His eyes find Dick’s hoping for…. He doesn’t know what. When their eyes meet his heart pounds and his blood rushes in his ears. The blankness he gets back makes him flinch.

His eyes flicker to the Robins and the innocent wide eye stare is just- too much. He feels like a spectacle. His eyes flutter around and soon he realizes just how out of place he is. Not like he ever fit to begin with. 

Shame rolls over him. He staggered back a few steps. No one moves and his throat goes dry. He turns and flies after Ryner in mortification.

[forevercloudnine]

batman forever riddlebat ship meme

(This one was inevitable. God, do I love this movie. @heroes-etc​ gave me questions from this ship meme.)

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

The obvious answer here is Edward because he is... clearly and pathologically insecure in his identity and requiring outside approval. You could argue he gets over this once he adopts his flamboyant supervillain identity, but as soon as he steps out of it to be Edward Nygma again he’s as self-conscious as ever. On some level his Bruce cosplay at the Nygmatech party is probably supposed to be a dig at his former idol, but it’s pretty transparent that he’s paranoid about not measuring up, especially once Bruce actually walks in.

As for what makes him feel better, two obvious high points of his self-esteem right off the bat (lol) are when Bruce is giving him positive attention in his intro scene, and directly afterwards when he’s murdering his boss for ragging on him.

Of course, neither external validation or murder is, like, a permanent solution to insecurity. Obviously. If they ever got together Bruce would probably make him go to therapy, which would be incredibly hypocritical because, as Dr. Meridian points out in this movie, that’s not exactly something Bruce is doing. Although in Bruce’s defense, if you count the novelizations as canon for this continuity, the psychiatrist Alfred hired for him as a child basically wrote him off as a lost cause that was going to inevitably self-destruct at some point in adulthood. So I can see why he’d think therapy isn’t for him. 

"Young Bruce may seem quite the stalwart, but there’s still a child beneath that veneer of calm acceptance [...] The day will come when that veneer crumbles, and the boy reacts to the memory of his ordeal. Such matters may be postponed, but not indefinitely. And the longer this one is delayed, the greater the damage will be to his psyche.”

“Still,” Alfred pressed. “How do you think this will all come out? Off the record, if you prefer.”

Another pause. “I am not terribly optimistic,” the stout man admitted. “But I assure you, I will do my best.”

Alternatively, Bruce just lets Edward borrow his clothes and calls it a day. It’s less time consuming than therapy and both the movie and novelization demonstrate how into that Edward is.

He was murmuring to himself, “We’ll probably be dining at Wayne Manor together.” He envisioned Bruce sitting across from him, and began to launch into a narrative [...] “Yes. Yes. A Party in my honor? I should have rented a tuxedo. What?” he couldn’t believe it, “One of yours, Bruce?” He gave it a moment’s thought and then shrugged. “Why not? We are the same size.”

3. Who is the most romantic?

 Uh, not Bruce! Batman Forever is the most thoughtfully romantic he gets in the entire series, and even here his only two dates ideas are “whatever Gotham social event my secretary tells me I need a date for” and “coming on to my date in my alternate identity to see if she loves me enough not to cheat on me with Batman.” Also, he vacillates between staunchly refusing to do any flirting at all and dishing out the least romantic pick-up lines possible.

You say “bad writing,” I say “totally in character for a hot rich guy who knows that this is as hard as he has to try to get into someone’s pants.” Bruce might love his partner with the intensity of a thousand dying suns, but he’s still sending Alfred to buy all their Valentine’s Day presents. His idea of a romantic evening for two is finally trusting someone enough to tell them his secret identity. If he’s done that already, or they already figured it out, then his playbook is over. That’s clearly the only romantic fantasy he’s ever allowed himself.  

(I was going to say he does this once every movie, but he actually never does this in Batman & Robin specifically because he doesn’t actually care about Julie Madison. She proposes to him and he gets her name wrong while shooting her down. Add that to the “Bruce Wayne isn’t romantic” box.)

The ridiculous amount of magazine cut-outs populating Edward’s apartment indicates that he probably has a very vibrant and extensive set of fantasies involving Bruce, which is hinted at a couple times in the novelization.

Edward would certainly know him when he saw him. He’d spent enough time anticipating the moment, after all [...] Finally he was going to be meeting Bruce Wayne face-to-face, and he had every moment of the encounter scripted [...] He’d rehearsed it to perfection in his mind for weeks upon months.

In the grand scheme of things... in the fabulous, sweeping, intertwining destinies of Bruce Wayne and Edward Nygma, such a slip would not even rate a footnote.

He becomes suddenly and painfully aware that if Bruce Wayne walked away without Edward Nygma by his side, then that would be it. It would be finished. All these weeks, months... indeed, a lifetime of planning... and it was crumbling under him just like that.

Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean his fantasies are all romantic in the traditional sense of the word. This is a man who was charmed by Harvey holding a charity circus hostage with some kind of graffitied missile warhead. Tonally, there’s not even that much of a difference between his crush collages and his riddle death threats.

What’s weirder, using a magazine cutout of someone you hate to make a pop-up card of their face, or using a magazine cutout of someone you love to replace the anatomically correct heart in the cardiovascular system diagram you keep in your apartment/arcade/makeshift laboratory? Probably the former, since it was made with the express purpose of Bruce actually seeing it. Although presumably Edward was planning on taking Bruce to his apartment at some point? And in the novelization, he actually drags Bruce into his cubicle to look at his Wayne Shrine.

He grabbed Bruce’s arms and shouted “No, don’t leave me! I need you!” [...] Bruce was thunderstruck as he was pulled partway into Edward’s office... and then he caught sight of the shrine. 

Edwards’s head bobbed eagerly. Now, finally, Bruce would understand the depth of Nygma’s devotion to his idol. He would see how important he was to Nygma.

Notably, the only thing that upsets Bruce about the fact that one of his employees has a serial killer wall dedicated to him at their work station (@heroes-etc: realistically.... IS this the first time this has happened? i doubt it.) is the fact that the shrine includes a picture of him taken directly after his parents’ death, which is obviously a huge trigger for Bruce’s PTSD.

Wayne’s gaze zeroed in on the picture of himself as a young man. 

The eyes of Wayne the elder locked with Wayne the younger, and when he slowly turned his scrutiny back to Edward Nygma, Edward could feel the temperature in the cubicle drop to subzero.

Later, once Bruce isn’t being actively reminded of the most traumatizing day of his life, he reflects that he could probably relate to Edward’s specific brand of crazy, and hopes that it’s not too late to try again (it is).

He paused momentarily at Edward Nygma’s cubicle, thinking about the intensity he’d seen in the man’s eyes the other day. Nygma’s ideas might have been a bit odd, but that sort of passion—if properly channeled—could accomplish miracles. That was something Bruce Wayne certainly knew better than anyone else. Perhaps after this fiasco was the time to take Nygma aside under less-pressured circumstances. Start again...

With any other character, I would call bull on their being this unphased by someone being obsessed enough with them to build a stalker shrine, but, like. It’s Batman. He probably has a stalker shrine to Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman in his cave somewhere. When they start dating, Edward mails the weirdest magazine cutout valentines to his office on the regular, and every time Bruce has to assure his staff that it’s not a ransom letter and it’s just “his boyfriend being romantic.”

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

I mean, by most people’s standards, any one of the things that Edward does in front of Bruce could easily be the most embarrassing thing to happen to them in their lifetime. But for the most part, Edward seems blissfully free of that kind of self-consciousness. He accidentally introduces himself to Bruce as “[extended moaning sound] Bruce Wayne” and shakes it off without even registering his mistake. Even when he feels like Bruce has rejected him and his project, his emotional state is more shocked, saddened, and angry than it is ashamed. He does apologize to Bruce, during the scene where they first meet, for holding on to his hand too long during their handshake. And by “handshake” I mean that Bruce extends his hand to be shaken, and Edward just grabs on and holds it without any motion whatsoever for the entire first half of their conversation. Which might be the only time he ever apologizes in the entire movie. So I’ll say that was his moment of embarrassment.

Bruce only really embarrasses himself in front of Alfred, but Edward does manage to trick Bruce into getting scanned by his mind reading device at the Nygmatech party. Being tricked in general would be pretty awkward for Bruce, since this movie goes out of its way to show the audience how SMART and CLEVER and KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT BRAINWAVES Bruce is at every opportunity. But being tricked into getting your mind read is about a million times more embarrassing than just running into a wall like some kind of Looney Tune. Obviously having access to Bruce’s mind allows Edward to figure out that his former boss/current obsessee is Batman, but also it’s just got to be super weird in there. Bruce is a bizarre man.  

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Whether he’s idolizing Bruce or plotting his destruction, Edward is still seeing the subject of his lifelong obsession as a larger than life exaggeration of the real man. Some of that pedestal would probably survive into the beginning of a romantic relationship, but by the time they got serious Edward would have had to recognize that Bruce has both positive and negative traits. He would also have had to grapple with the fact that the man he once assumed would make everything in his life better is a lot of work to be around, especially in this movie’s continuity where the trauma of his family’s death and his guilt over allowing enemies like Joker to die are genuinely affecting Bruce’s day-to-day functionality.

(A lot of things, Chase.)

Edward’s introduction scene demonstrates that he doesn’t see Bruce as having these kinds of problems. His Escapism Wish Fulfillment Device TM is clearly a very personal project for him, since he, you know. Is kind of already living in a Bruce-centric fantasy world.

When he’s pitching it to Bruce, however, he states that he doesn’t think someone like Bruce would ever need to escape reality (which could just be ingratiating flattery, but he barely seems aware of what he’s saying at the time because he’s too busy staring with his mouth open at Bruce putting on glasses).

(Side note: an interjection from @heroes-etc​

Anyway, moving on.)

Obviously we know he’s wrong, since Bruce escapes his reality every night by dressing up like a bat and scaring people. Normally that’s just subtext (or me being cynical and creating subtext), but Batman Forever introduced a hot psychiatrist who is constantly poking at Batman for being a power fantasy created by a traumatized mind to cope with intense feelings of helplessness in childhood. 

 The novelization makes it clear that it’s not the illusion of perfection that Edward is attracted to, however. The picture of Bruce in Crime Alley is what kickstarts Edward’s obsession, not because Bruce seemed flawless but because he seemed to be going through similar pain as Edward (whatever Edward’s pain even IS in this continuity). So I think recognizing Bruce’s issues would be less of a dealbreaker and more of a point of connection, were they to get serious.

He saw, there in Bruce Wayne’s face, an intensity that mirrored his own. An anger, a frustration at the hand that fate had dealt him. There were no tears on Bruce’s face. Instead there was a smoldering intelligence that Edward intuitively sensed was on par with his own. 

There was something in Bruce’s eyes, something in that gaze. There was Bruce, in a moment of raw emotion, his parents just having been cruelly taken from him. And there was no self-pity. Just cold, hard anger.

[...] Ed still had the newspaper with him when he was walking home from school. Not that he needed it to read; the contents were safely locked away in his skull, thanks to his photographic memory. But he wanted to clip out the articles and pictures about Bruce Wayne. He found the young man fascinating, as if he had discovered a soulmate of sorts.

For Bruce, on the other hand, getting serious presumably just means attempting to include Edward more and more in the found family he builds in the latter half of the 90’s Batman movies. Alfred approving a love interest is not quite as tantamount in this continuity as it is sometimes (Micheal Gough Alfred is pretty laid back), but Bruce is still spending all of his non-Batman, non-socialite time with his butler. So if Edward wants to hang out with Bruce, he has to either get on Alfred’s good side or prepare for a lot of “romantic quality time” where his boyfriend’s dad is glaring at him from the background.

Dick is less important to get on the good side of, since he and Bruce argue all the time in these movies (apparently one of the proposed scripts for Batman & Robin was Bruce kicking Dick out of the house and making him go to college, where Dick would cope with his dad-related anger by bullying his psychology professor Dr. Crane into becoming a supervillain. I personally feel like I deserved to see that Scarecrow origin). So if Dick doesn’t like Bruce’s new boyfriend, it’s just one more thing for them to be catty to each other about.  

Alfred’s niece Barbara Wilson on the other hand (who is adorable as a fusion of Barbara Gordon and Julia Pennyworth, do not @ me) would be absolutely vital for Edward to win over, because her opinion could easily either make or break his standing with her uncle. Also Bruce decided to adopt her within five minutes of meeting her, so he’s obviously fond.

19. Where do they go on their first date?

Edward’s fantasy sequence in the novelization makes it obvious enough that he would really, really like to have dinner at Wayne Manor. Hanging out at someone’s house isn’t really a traditional first date, especially if one of you is a billionaire who could have taken you literally anywhere, but clearly none of that matters to Bruce, because that’s exactly the first date he invites Vicki Vale on in Batman (1989).

It’s pretty painfully awkward (“You want to know the truth? I don’t think I’ve ever been in this room before”) until Bruce gives up on the formality and takes her down to eat the rest of their courses with Alfred in the kitchen.

I feel like his first date with Edward could probably go the same way, with a few major differences. One, Edward would have been super enthused about eating in the fancy dining hall, and Bruce would have only suggested finishing their meal in the kitchen because Edward clearly wanted to see As Much Of The Manor As Possible. Two, when Alfred offers to stop embarrassing Bruce and leave them alone for the end of their date, Edward would have insisted he stay and break out the baby albums. You cannot convince me that Alfred is not a scrapbooker. Actually, does what Edward’s doing count as scrapbooking? Maybe they could compare notes.

[fancyfade]

so ive been debating editing chapter 3 on my fanfic to make 1 scene line up more from canon. (chapter 3 is this one, where the characters deal with the aftermath of battle for the cowl, Tim finds out Damian’s Robin, and Dick and Damian move to the penthouse)

I’m debating making the Tim finding out Damian’s Robin scene a little more canon compliant along what happened in Red Robin (link) for a few reasons, the main of which is in the scenes that I’m writing next (like... chapter 47 lol), Tim and Dick do have to talk about what transpired when Dick made Damian Robin. Potential reasons for change

In my fic Tim kind of just left on his own without a push, but I’m not sure if Tim would have left on such bad terms if there wasn’t the complication of Damian antagonizing him and him feeling as if Dick was picking Damian over him (even though in the comic we saw Dick trying to de-escalate and get Tim’s back, it still felt that way to Tim)

I dislike the way some of this was handled in the comic and I can’t really comment on it in my fic if I just retcon it out

it seems fair-er I guess if Tim is allowed to have flaws just like Cass and Damian and Dick all have flaws in this fic. i know many tim stans think otherwise, but punching a ten-year-old victim of child abuse in the face out of anger is wrong.

the con side is obviously this involves Damian getting hit and that kid has been through so much already. I’m really trying to figure out how it works with character dynamics vs like. give the poor kid a break-ness.

anyway if I did decide to replace the current chapter 3, this is what it would be replaced with (only the first scene, the second would be the same). If you are a reader of the fic feel free to leave your comments. I would do an “oh and I edited chapter 3″ note before the relevant stuff was mentioned if I go through with this, I wouldn’t like expect everyone to know what happened. Some of the dialogue is not like exactly like in canon (cuz thats boring and also to match with what I wrote the first time) but the feeling/ beats should be similar

Gotham’s finally had a bit of lull in the violence, and Dick is just wondering how he’s going to do this.

He’s accepted that Damian’s his responsibility – seeing the kid shot in the chest made that perfectly clear, as much as he would’ve liked it to be otherwise. He felt like he was way too young to be watching out for a kid in any capacity other than cool older brother, especially a kid who’s as difficult to get along with as Damian. He was a great fighter, of course, and he knew it – Dick’s not sure he’s ever heard the kid be humble about anything. To make things worse, Dick feels like he’s constantly stuck in the middle between Damian and the kid he actually views as his younger brother – Tim, who Damian tried to kill. Evidence in point:

“Robin?!” Tim asks once he’s gotten back on his feet and Dick's explained his plan – away from Damian, who's still recovering from surgery.

“You made Damian Robin?!” Tim asks again.

Dick sighs. He’s in the cave, in a Batman costume he feels doesn’t fit right at all with the cowl off, and Tim’s still in his regular clothes. He has no idea how to explain this to Tim – no idea how to make him feel like he’s not being replaced. Dick never wanted to be the one doing the replacing – he remembers how much it hurt to find out that Jason was Robin from the papers, and that was after he officially stopped being Robin. Tim never quit – and Dick’s not about to make him – but he has to come home to the guy who tried to kill him getting his name.

“Tim, I know this looks bad, but Damian needs this.”

“Remember when we thought Bruce was going to retire after Crisis?” Tim asks. “Batman and Robin was supposed to be us. You and me. Not you and the psychopath that tried to kill me.”

“Tim, you’re not my sidekick, you’re my partner – ” Dick takes a step towards Tim with his hand out, prepared to offer sympathy, but Tim shakes him off angrily.

“Obviously not!”

“And Damian needs me way more than you do. If we don’t keep an eye on him, he’s going to kill again.”

Tim scowls intensely. “That should really not be an endorsement for being Robin, Dick! He’s a killer! He belongs in jail!” Tim swallows a little and then lowers his voice out of shouting range. “Dick, he didn’t try to kill me because he for some reason thought it was the only way to stop me from doing something bad, as far as I can tell he just wanted to replace me. We’re talking about someone with absolutely no sense of right or wrong.”

“Of course he doesn’t have a sense of right or wrong. He’s a ten-year-old child who was raised as an assassin from birth!”

“Lots of our villains have really sad or sympathetic reasons for doing crime, that doesn’t mean we team up with them.”

“Are you serious?” Dick asks. “This isn’t the same, Tim.”

“How not?”

“Well for one,” calls Damian's voice from the stairs, and Dick can't help but cringe and think not now – “I'm a lot better than them.”

Dick's cringe only intensifies when he turns around to see what Damian is wearing. His new Robin costume.

Tim's hands clench into fists the instant he sees Damian. Dick knows he has to de-escalate things quick before Tim and Damian have another fight.

“Damian,” Dick says, trying to keep himself carefully neutral-sounding. “Shouldn't you be resting?”

Damian lifts his head up slightly so his nose is in the air, and walks down the stairs almost normally. There's only a little hesitation in the twist of his torso, a little stiffness of his right arm.

Either he's zoned out of his mind on painkillers or depressingly good at masking his pain for a ten-year-old.

“Please,” Damian says. “I was trained in the League of Shadows. Do you really think an over-the-hill ex-Robin could put me down?”

Tim's fist clenches further, and so Dick says, letting a bit more urgency slip into his voice, “Damian, shut up. Now.”

Damian puts his left hand on his hips and looks intentionally at Tim. He adds, “I'm not Drake – ”

He's barely got the word out before Tim leaps forward and punches him in the face. Dick's out of his seat, grabbing Tim to hold him back, who is still distressingly struggling against him, like he wants to keep up the assault despite the fact that Damian fell to the floor.

“My name is Tim Wayne!” Tim shouts as Dick is still holding him back.

Damian gingerly sits up. Dick prepares to release Tim, prepares to stop Damian if he has to, if he decides to get revenge. But he doesn't. He just briefly braces his right side with his left hand before wiping the blood off his face.

“I let you get that shot in, Drake,” Damian says, again dropping intentional emphasis on Tim's original last name.

As he does, Tim struggles forward.

“Tim, back off!” Dick says, because Tim still isn't cooling down –

“I want you to feel good about yourself,” Damian continues.

Tim seems to relax his stance slightly, so Dick, possibly in an error of judgment, lets Tim go. But Tim doesn't try to attack Damian again, he just shakes Dick off and starts stomping away. “You want me to back off? Fine.”

He's going for the exit.

If he leaves –

Dick can't chase him. He's not sure that he can leave Damian alone –

“Tim, wait!” Dick says, taking a step forward. “Bruce is gone. But I still need you.”

“For what?” asks Damian and damn it is there anything this kid isn't going to try to ruin?

“Shut up, Damian,” Dick says again, even though as far as he knows he's just going to wind up pushing Damian away too –

And Tim leaves.

Dick turns to look at Damian. The kid's already back to his feet, like nothing happened, and Dick takes a step forward to inspect the injury – though he's really more worried about the gunshot wound than Tim's punch. Both Tim and Damian had wound up injured pretty badly during the chaos that gripped Gotham in the rumors of Batman’s death. As his new and not-improved version of Batman, Jason had tried to kill them both, which Dick is way less than pleased about. He’d been kind of hoping that they could talk Jason down, but this seems like a line he doesn’t know if Jason can ever un-cross. He shot a ten year old in the chest.

Damian grabs Dick's wrist as he reaches out.

“Are you all right?” Dick asks.

Damian scoffs. “You're worried about Drake? I've been hit harder sparring my mother.”

“I was thinking about the gunshot.” Alfred had said the primary damage was blood loss and a punctured lung (well, traumatic pneumothorax, but Dick knew what he meant) and given the kid a minimum of four weeks downtime to heal.

It's hard to tell due to the domino mask, but Damian adopts the position of a kid who's rolling their eyes, head slightly tilted to the side with a loll. “It's not enough to impersonate Batman, now you want to impersonate my mother?”

Dick doesn't know how to approach the mother thing, so he doesn't even try. He just explains the logic for being Batman – (and there is logic behind it. It's not like he wanted this). “Someone has to step up and convince Gotham things can get back to normal,” Dick says. “And serial killer Batman wasn't going to cut it.”

“Did you at least take care of him?” Damian asks.

Dick knows that Damian isn't actually worried about Jason's wellbeing, so he says, “Do you mean 'did I kill him'?”

“Tt. Obviously.”

“Obviously not.”

Damian presses his lips together in a thin line.

Dick might as well get this out of the way now. He's going to have to sometime. “Alfred wants you out of the field for four weeks.”

“That's preposterous!” Damian shouts, and as he shouts, he coughs. He rubs his chest quickly and then glowers at Dick when he sees him staring.

“Damian, you could have died.”

“I didn’t.”

Jeez, doesn’t this kid have any sense of his own mortality? Though, Dick supposes, growing up around Lazarus Pits and a centuries old grandfather might make that impossible.

“I’m not a fool, Grayson, I know I’m not capable of healing instantaneously. I’ll take a break for one week,” he offers, like it’s a huge concession on his part.

“Four weeks,” Dick says.

“What about you?” Damian asks. “Didn’t you get injured?”

“Not as badly.”

“Are you taking a break?”

“Someone needs to convince Gotham that Batman’s not dead,” Dick says. Also, he doesn’t want to take a break. He doesn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. Losing Bruce. Failing Tim.

“Tt. Then I don’t need one either. I’m younger. I heal faster.”

Dick actually has no clue whether that’s true, because he’s not a doctor, but he knows that people usually say kids heal faster.

Dick swings his arms a little, trying to feel them out. They’re still stiff, and as they move, a jolt of pain shoots through him. Even when he’s not moving, his shoulder is still sore. He knows that he might get injured going into the field like this and that it’s not a smart decision – last time he went into the field while still healing, he wound up blowing his secret identity to Blockbuster.

He decides that at least if he’s going into the field, he won’t tell Barbara and Alfred about it. Okay, so that’s probably not the smartest of his plans. Most plans that you have to hide from people who care about you aren't smart.

“I’ll take a week long break with you,” Dick concedes. “And we can see how fast you’re healing.” The second part is a lie, of course. He's not going to supersede Alfred's orders on medical matters.

Dick sighs a little. He figures that while they’re both on bed-rest duty, though, he can try to figure out how to set things up so they can operate effectively once they get a clean bill of health.

“How do you feel about not living in the manor?” Dick asks.

“Kicking me out already?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I wouldn’t be living here either,” Dick says. It’s true. He’d rather not feel like he’s living in all of Bruce’s old places, wearing Bruce’s old costume, … replacing him, essentially. He needs a place he can clear his head.

“Where would you live then?” Damian asks skeptically.

Dick shrugs. “The penthouse, maybe. Bruce already made a bunker nearby, so we could operate out of there pretty easily.”

Damian narrows his eyes. “Why do you keep saying ‘we’?”

Because you are ten and not ready to live on your own. But Dick just says, “Well, you’re Robin now, right? That means you’re pretty much obligated to team up with Batman.”

“Batman isn’t here, Grayson. He never will be again, no matter how much you play dress-up.”

Charming kid. Like Dick didn’t already know that.

“You know I operate effectively alone, right?” Damian continues. “I don’t need to be hand-held and babysat like all of Father’s previous partners.”

Dick figures that it’d be a jerk move to remind Damian he just almost died and therefore really shouldn’t be on his own. Instead, he says, “Well, Alfred’s staying with me, so unless you want to get all your food and clean the house by yourself, you have to put up with me.”

“Tt . I don’t need a servant. I’ll just eat at restaurants.”

“On who’s money?”

“In the event of his death, my father’s assets should have transferred to me. His blood son.”

Oh boy. Dick rubs his face. “Does this have to be a thing, Damian? No one’s doubting your capacity to take care of yourself but I think it’d really be easier if we were operating out of the same building. “

A long silence on Damian’s part. “Fine,” he says eventually. “I’ll allow you to stay at my penthouse.”

My penthouse. Of course. But Dick takes it. “All right,” he says. “Let’s move in.”

[prepare4trouble]

I think I figured it out. Or if not, I think I've found myself a head canon that means I can live with the Vikings finale; specifically with the end of Ivar's story in the Vikings finale.

I know I'm a few months late to the party and probably everyone has already been over this before and drawn their conclusions, and maybe there have even been interviews with the cast and crew that have told us what was going on in Ivar's head during his last scene, but if there are, I haven't seen them so until I do, this is what I think and I'm sticking with it.

This may seem really badly written and all over the place, but that's just because I'm thinking as I type, right now I have the bare bones of a head canon and I"m going to flesh it out and try to get my thoughts straight in my head.

So, the first time I saw that last episode, I hated the conclusion of Ivar's story but I think what made it worse was how fucking pointless Ivar's death felt on that first viewing.

But the more I have thought about it, and I've watched it a couple more times since, the more I have started to see the logic to it. I said in another post that it made sense within the narrative; it was necessary for the story that they were trying to tell. At that point, they were telling a version of the beginning of the end of the Viking era, the beginning of the end of the old Gods and the spread of Christianity across Scandinavia, and the last of the Vikings that fell into legend. Ivar was one of those legends, and for the story to be complete, he had to be gone. He wasn't the kind of person that would get into a boat and sail off in search of adventure, like Ubbe did, and he certainly wouldn't have settled down and given up the Viking life like Hvitserk later does. If he were the type that was even a little bit tempted to do that, he would have pushed harder to stay in Rus, even if it meant only seeing his child from afar. He would have stayed with Igor, who desperately didn't want him to leave. But he didn't, because he couldn't. No matter where he went in the world, or what happened to him, something always pulled him back to Kattegat. That look he gave Hvitserk when he was talking about leaving Rus and Hvitserk asked him where they would go. That "Duh, where do you think?" look, said it all.

So yeah, if they wanted to end the show with him out of the picture, they had to kill him, or else that era wouldn't end, and the story, and specifically Ivar's story would have felt incomplete. So maybe if I'd been writing the show, I'd even have killed him off too. But maybe not.

Or maybe I'd have done things differently earlier in the series so that Ivar's death felt more like a natural point in the story and less like a massive slap in the face. Or maybe I'd just have done it so that he didn't just stand there on the battlefield and wait for that random Saxon to stab him. Maybe I wouldn't have had him be so afraid in his final moments, maybe I just wouldn't have had him cry.

But I'm three viewings in now, and I think I know why it happened like it did. I think Ivar was reading the battlefield, as he always did. He was a brilliant strategist, and to use the slightly clunky chess analogy they went with in those last few episodes ("I'm going to take his queen", anyone?), he was always thinking several moves ahead of his opponent. He knew what moves Alfred was going to make, and he could force moves by his own actions. He would have been several steps ahead of everybody else on the battlefield, and he knew that the Vikings were going to lose. Hell, he probably knew that when he spoke to Alfred before the battle. He also knew, as he showed when he correctly predicted what the response would be to him deliberately injuring the Saxon soldiers, that he understood how Alfred thought, and so he knew that the moment he, Ivar, fell on the battlefield, Kind Alfred would call a halt to the battle.

In a way, it's not dissimilar to what Ragnar did, sacrificing himself to achieve his goal, but while Ragnar's goal was to raise a huge army to take revenge on the Saxon kings, something he had learned back in Kattegat that he didn't have the power to do in life, Ivar's goal was smaller, yet no less important.

Ivar wanted to save Hvitserk.

The Saxons had spotted Hvitserk and started to attack him one after the other. He was weakening, he was injured, and if it had continued, he was going to die. That's why, when Hvitserk staggered to his feet and went to fight again, Ivar stopped him, told him to stop fighting. And then, he tells him, "I could never kill you." For a while there has been this assumption that one brother was going to kill the other and right now I can't remember where it came from; whether it was something that the Seer told one or the other of them, or it was just something that Hvitserk dreamed up for himself. Either way, it's something from the times of belief in prophecies and fate, which are strongly linked to the Old Norse belief system that, at this point in history, we are leaving behind us.

So when Ivar presses his forehead to his brother's and tells him, "I could never kill you," I think he realises that by continuing the battle, knowing that they are going to lose, he would be responsible for Hvitserk's death. But also, by making a conscious decision to not 'kill' Hvitserk, even Ivar, staunch believer in the old ways that he is, is turning his back on some aspects of his beliefs.

And then there was Ivar's speech a couple of episodes earlier, the one about how, hundreds of years in the future, people, probably all over the world, would be proud to learn that his blood was in their bodies (or however he put it, I'm on a bit of a roll here and I can't take a break from typing to go back and check the dialogue) Now personally, I didn't like that speech. To me, it felt like too much of a nod to the modern audience. It took me out of the story for a moment and into the present, where people do DNA tests and find out their genetic histories. But that's neither here nor there, the point is, that knowing he was going to be a father, Ivar felt that no matter what happened, he had achieved the immortality that he craved. He would live on, not only in stories and legends, but also in the long line of descendants that he had never expected that he would have.

So, as much as I hate that he walked out onto the battlefield with a giant metaphorical 'stab me' sign, screaming that he can't be killed and that he's going to live forever, while simultaneously doing absolutely nothing to stop the Saxon soldier that stabbed him. But as much as I hate that it happened, I think I understand why he did it.

I still hate it, though. I still hate how scared he was; scared enough to actually tell Hvitserk that he was afraid. It was almost as though he had realised a moment too late that he didn't want to die. I hate that everything he went through in Rus, all the ways that it changed him for the better, felt wasted. But then, maybe if he had never been through what he did in Rus, he would still have been the same selfish Ivar that declared himself a God and murdered anybody who dared to oppose him. That Ivar would have fought on no matter what the cost. That Ivar would not have cared if Hvitserk fell in battle. So maybe when he said that his whole life had been in preparation for that moment, maybe he was right.

But I don't know. Most likely all of this is just me trying desperately to justify what happened. And I think that id my interpretation is even a little bit true, it should have been made clearer in the show without having to watch it a few times and then sit down and think about it for ages. Ivar's death, even on the first viewing (because let's face it, most people don't watch things over and over like I do), Ivar's death felt more like a satisfying conclusion to Ivar and Hvitserk's story, and not just a tragedy and a massive downer of an ending.

Or, more likely, this was all obvious and I was just too stupid to realise it right away.

[listentothelittlebird]

TW: dissociative episode

This was a whole scrapped oneshot, mostly because I couldn’t fit it in properly... I misread something on a wikipedia page and somehow ended up with “Jason revisited Ethiopia sometime during the Red Hood and the Outlaws, and had major PTSD”. I’m fairly sure I was sleep deprived at the time... (I’m honestly happy with how this one turned out, but it was just out-of-place with the rest of the other oneshots)

This is a “deleted scene” from my series on ao3, Code Bat! 

It was a quiet, peaceful night, until the comms crackled to life.

“N,” Oracle called, “RH entered Gotham an hour ago. The new Super he befriended brought him in, but he hasn’t moved from his location since. Can you go check on him?”

Nightwing frowned. Jason was in town? 

He was happy to have a chance to see his Little Wing, of course, but this was an unplanned visit. Usually he would at least radio in ahead, and dramatically announce his return by searching for them during patrol time.

Something was wrong.

“R and I are still dealing with the drug ring,” Batman grunted, “We’ll be with you as soon as we can.”

It seemed even the Bat himself was getting worried.

“I’m turning in for the night. BG’s headed towards RH right now. Let me know how he is, alright?” Spoiler paused, before adding, “I can pull an extra patrol or two, if he needs you guys for company. I’m not an official fam’ member, but I’m more than ready to help.”

Nightwing would have hugged Spoiler if she was standing next to him.

Batgirl was already at the rooftop when Nightwing arrived. She was crouched directly in front of Jason - in his Red Hood outfit, skull-like helmet still on his head - and staring. Nightwing had learnt to read Cass’ body language, and right now she was practically screaming concern. She straightened when Nightwing touched down.

“Unresponsive,” she signed, “Alive, but not there. Like the victims we saw last week.”

Nightwing sighed, a rush of air escaping his chest. It was relief mixed in with new pain, because something had happened to his brother for him to shut down. Something had triggered this.

“RH is dissociating,” Nightwing reported to the comms, “BG says he’s unresponsive. B, once you and R are done, get the Batmobile here.”

“We’re on our way,” came Robin’s tight response, crisp and serious but betraying the slightest of quivers.

In the meantime, Nightwing busied himself with removing Jason’s helmet. His face was blank, devoid of his usual snarky grin or unimpressed eye-roll. His chest was rising and falling in slow, mechanical breaths.

“We’ll take care of you, Little Wing,” Nightwing laid a hand gently on his brother’s shoulder, smiling warmly, “Take all the time you need, okay? We’ll be here.”

There was not so much as a twitch to acknowledge his words. Dick’s gut clenched tighter, even having expected the lack of response.

Batgirl had drifted away, standing several steps back. At Nightwing’s questioning glance, she murmured haltingly, “Scary.” She raised her hands to elaborate.

“No body messages. Nothing. Cannot tell what he is thinking, or if he is thinking. I’m scared for him. With other victims, it’s bad. With family...” the next motion was not proper sign language - she made a heart with her hands, then split it. 

It hurt to see family like this.

Nightwing gave a sad, quiet smile in response, and the way he turned back to eye Jason was enough to convey his agreement.

-

Jason came back to himself slowly.

He was never truly gone, not quite. Not for a while, he thinks. 

He’s… not sure about much. Just that he had been able to tell Artemis and Bizarro that he was going to pull a few strings in Gotham to get them a permanent base. 

He remembered fumbling out an address for a safe house that he had, which would be able to last his two teammates for more than a week. He remembered Biz dropping him off in Gotham. He remembered sitting down on the filthy rooftop.

He thinks Batgirl came, then Nightwing. He thinks they helped him into the Batmobile, and he thinks he saw Batman and Robin. 

He… can’t quite recall what happened next. It was like his memories were grinded to a pulp and then drained of substance, leaving behind the crusts of barely-coherent scenes. Flashes of what had happened.

He was in the Batcave, then he was being walked up the stairs to the Manor, one large arm wrapped around his shoulders, one large hand gripping firmly onto his elbow. 

There was the rustling of old paperbacks, distant and distorted, like hearing through water. 

There was Bruce, blue eyes focused on him, gazing at him and murmuring something soft.

“...here for you. You’re safe, Jaylad.”

He felt a sliver of pressure on his face.

Jason blinked. His hand rose to the spot, to where the mildest of pressures were, a calloused hand cupped against his cheek. He blinked two, three times, Bruce’s face morphing into the most genuine of smiles, even as the smell of the library and faint tightness of hunger greeted him.

“B?” Jason croaked, his voice hoarse from something more than dryness. Bruce was still quick to supply him a cup of water. The hand had yet to leave his cheek. Jason, still thrown off and trying to piece together his scattered mind, leaned into the hand even as he downed the glass.

There was a reason his throat felt scratchy. He had been screaming. Screaming at…

By the time Bruce had plucked his empty glass from his hand and set it down, Jason had jolted violently, as the realisation of how he got here, on exactly why he had returned back to Gotham, hit him like a train.

Ethiopia. The rebuilt warehouse. The living nightmare of his latest Outlaws mission.

“B?” Jason’s voice was desperate now. Logically, he knew Bruce was right there. Trying to convince his tortured mind though, as it finally came to terms with what had happened, was not as simple. 

“Dad? Dad…” Jason’s hands reached blindly for Bruce’s arms, scrambling to tighten clenched fists into the fabric of the man’s sweater. Bruce pulled Jason into his chest.

While Jason tried and failed to quell his breakdown, Bruce had maneuvered himself back onto the couch, Jason sat half in his lap and half on the couch. Jason’s arms, tight around his father’s shoulders, loosened as he let out a shaky gasp.

“We - we had a mission,” Jason rambled before he could stop himself, “Artemis was looking for something, and we were helping her look, and-“

“Jay,” Bruce cut in gently, “Don’t force yourself. Please, son.”

Jason, his forehead pressed to Bruce’s shoulder, shook his head even as he barreled on. He had to get this out before his walls went up again, before it became too blissfully peaceful to even broach the subject.

“I- fuck. We went to Ethiopia,” Jason gave a hollow laugh, even as Bruce sucked in a sharp breath of air, “It was fucking hell, B. Pretty sure they were just doing the generic torture shit on me, but they didn’t even need to do anything, really. The location was enough to…to-“ Jason’s voice cracked. There was something wet leaking out of his eyes.

“It looked exactly the same, B. I checked after - it was the same place. It was-“ Jason’s voice gave out for real, then. 

Bruce pulled him tighter, holding his son close as he cried himself dry. Bruce was just glad that Jason had been able to come back to Gotham, that his son was here for him to comfort - was willing to accept that comfort from him still, even after everything that had happened.

“You’re here,” Bruce hushes, when Jason’s sobs had died down to sniffles. He gave the boy - he would forever be a boy in his eyes - a squeeze around his broad shoulders. “You’re here.”

Jason sniffed again, and squeezed back, tight and desperate.

Later, Alfred would enter, guided by his butler senses to bring a meal for Jason. Later, his siblings would check in on him, and Dick would pile everyone into the living room with a movie marathon and a sleepover. Later, Jason would figure out a permanent base of operations for the Outlaws.

For now, it was just a father holding his son, both undeniably grateful to be alive.

-

Jason led Biz and Artemis to an underground bunker at the outskirts of Metropolis. They were right under Superman’s nose, which was both exhilarating and concerning.

He did not fancy meeting any one of Bruce’s colleagues. 

On the other hand, if Superman did stumble upon them someday soon, Bizarro would finally get to meet someone like him. Well, someone who might see him as family, at least. Jason had heard from Tim that Superman was a big-hearted family man that had taken in Kon-El the moment he had trusted the clone.

He hoped Superman would take Bizarro in. The big guy deserved someone else besides him and Artemis.

Speaking of…

“Say, since we’re gonna be working with each other a lot more from now on, can I get insurance that you won’t take a swing at Wonder Woman while I’m in the collateral damage zone?” 

Artemis glared at him, but Jason had weathered Bat-glares, and this was nothing compared to the man. His helmet was off, so she could see his smirk, his red domino stretching as he raised an eyebrow. 

“I’d have thought you’d be on better terms with the lady. I mean, she’d gladly offer you any support you need,” Jason pointed out.

Artemis huffed, “Themyscira should have done more to aid my tribe. They still have yet to do more to aid my tribe. As Diana is a representative of her people, my grudge is against her tribe, and not her personally. Truthfully, Diana saved my life, and I am grateful for that.”

Jason hummed contemplatively. “Well, you should be a bridge between the two tribes,” Jason thought aloud, “Just saying, you basically became your tribe’s champion by getting back the Bow of Ra. If anyone could get them more aid, it’d be you.”

He could tell that the Amazonian needed time to think on his words, so instead of continuing. Jason splayed his arms, “Besides, sweet-talking gets you places!” 

It was implied that such was how he had gotten their base, but the circumstances were probably far from what Artemis assumed. All Jason had needed to do was talk over conversations during dinner and Bruce was showing him possible locations even before patrol rotations had begun.

Artemis latched onto the new topic, regarding their new base with a satisfied tilt to her head, “What were those connections that you managed to find? Gotham is one place in Man’s World that I have yet to understand.”

“Eh, you learn to deal with the city’s fuckery. Like I said, I just had some old strings that I could pull to get us here,” Jason shrugged, and paused for a moment. Everything had been moving a mile and minute, from when Jason had first met Artemis to when they and Bizarro became a team.

He had neglected to tell them his name. Not that Bizarro needed his name, since he even called Artemis Red Her, but Artemis herself had always referred to Jason as Red Hood or Red.

“Jay.” 

At Artemis’ questioning glance, Jason huffed, “It’s my name, I guess. Close enough.”

It was the name the Titans, Roy and Kori, knew him by. Artemis and Bizarro were shaping up to be his second round of Outlaws, and he wanted them to have his trust, too.

There was a weighty glint in Artemis’ eyes. “It is an honour to work with you, Jay,” she stated solemnly.

Jason cracked a grin, “Aw, c’mon, don’t go all mushy on me. Let’s go get Biz before he ransacks the whole pantry.”

He turned to head in Bizarro’s direction, his loud rummaging making Jason glad he had chosen to put them significantly low underground. Artemis trailed behind with a warm smile.

[the-girl-in-the-box]

Not Today III

A/N: Hello everyone!  So, a little bit of foreshadowing has begun, and we have a brief insight into the relationship Aethelind has with Alfred! I really wanted to be sure to explore that relationship, since it will be so integral to the plot later on. So, a smaller chapter, focused on a smaller scene, but no less important to the plot! Next week, much of our cast will return for the feast. Skål!

Summary: When Ivar takes the throne of Kattegat, Lagertha flees to Wessex along with Björn, Ubbe, Torvi, and the Bishop Heahmund. There, they seek the aid of King Alfred. This aid comes in the form of his sister, Aethelind, who agrees to travel to Kattegat and try to reason Ivar, who she spent some time with during their youth, when her grandfather King Ecbert hosted Ragnar Lothbrok in their castle. Now, she is the only hope for Lagertha and her supporters to retake Kattegat from Ivar the Boneless.

Masterlist

---

The servants all knew to stay away when Aethelind and Alfred were having one of their disagreements. That, or they knew if it went on for too long, to go get their mother. The struggle with these two was found in the conflicting parts of their father they each embodied. And, truthfully, Alfred did want to help the Vikings who had turned up on his and Aethelind’s door. He just…

He knew what they were capable of. He knew the destruction brought to the shores of Wessex by these Northmen. They weren’t safe, and couldn’t be trusted. But at the same time, he remembered the kind eyes of his grandfather’s close friend, the curiosity in the eyes of that man’s son. He couldn’t quite make the two go together, sometimes, in his mind. Perhaps that was why his sister was now pleading with him to assist the Vikings. She had gotten it all straight.

But then, he realized the same men in her villa, Björn and Ubbe Ragnarsson, had killed both his grandfathers, and he suddenly couldn’t bring himself to see them the way she apparently did. He couldn’t understand her heart for them. They had betrayed their grandfather, Ecbert. How could she know they wouldn’t betray her, too?

He had voiced that question, and that, he knew, was the cause of her absolutely bewildered look. Clearly, he’d messed up in asking that. He could tell by her expression exactly what was going through her mind.

“You let fear control you too much,” she finally said, after a few moments of simply staring at him. Perhaps he hadn’t known exactly what, then. “Our father would be absolutely appalled at this. There shouldn’t even be any discussion. You and I both know he’d jump to assist them.”

"Our father destroyed their settlement, Aethelind,” he countered, and then her expression turned pointed, unimpressed. He’d known what she meant, and dodged it, not wanting to admit she was right.

“Our true father,” she said lowly. “Athelstan.”

Ah, yes, thought Alfred. The closest friend of Ragnar Lothbrok. And what good did that friendship do him?

“He was betrayed by the Vikings,” Alfred pointed out. “We know one of them killed him. Grandfather told us this before he was killed by them, too.”

“Grandfather was found dead in his bath, you don’t know the Vikings killed him,” Aethelind argued.

“I know they brought their Great Heathen Army here, and when we returned, Grandfather was dead. Don’t be naïve, Aethelind. He turned Ragnar Lothbrok over to Grandfather Aelle. The Heathens came, went to Northumbria, came here to Wessex, and both our grandfathers died while they were here. What else can be assumed by this?”

“They never came here on that trip.”

Alfred sighed. He should have known that would have been kept from her. The truth of these sorts of matters could be jarring, he knew that, and so he understood why she wouldn’t have been told- especially as she’d continued speaking of that boy, even as he helped lead the army that killed their grandfathers.

“They did,” he confessed. “It’s why we left, right before Grandfather Ecbert passed. He knew they would come, and sent us away for safety. They killed him in his bath, and that’s why we returned to find him gone.”

Alfred watched as she seemed to grow cold, distant from him. That was never good. She was angry. Her brows creased together, her eyes hardened, and she let out a slightly bitter laugh.

“And no one saw fit to tell me of this?” she questioned, voice low. “No one thought I should know that Vikings came and killed both our grandfathers? Why? Was I deemed to be too fond of one of them to be trusted with this information?” Even though her voice hadn’t changed overly much, wasn’t too hostile in nature, Alfred flinched. This was almost worse than when she yelled. “You didn’t even see fit to tell me this, Alfred?”

“You… were too close to both sides of the conflict,” he said, and from the way he spoke, it sounded to her as if he were trying to soothe her. The idea was like salt in the wound he’d just reopened. “And it was difficult news to bear anyway. I thought to protect you by never saying-”

“No, you betrayed me by never saying,” she interrupted. “All this talk of how the Northmen will betray me, and you already have. And what harm could have been done anyway? I already sympathized with the Northmen. The worst case already was the case. If anything, you might have won my sympathies back! Yet now all you have done is solidified my convictions.

“And if nothing else, I know our father would have helped them. Our father left Wessex to be with them in Kattegat. He loved Ragnar Lothbrok. Despite all their differences, even when it came to faith, our father was the one at his right hand, even until his death. If he were here, he would advise that we send aid at once. I, for one, wish to uphold his legacy. I wish to be friends to these people, even if you find it ill-advised.”

Alfred regarded her with a very interested expression. He knew, of course, that she was right, but the way she was talking… “You sound just like him,” he said. “At least, how Mother says he sounded. His love for the Vikings… It’s as if you have inherited it from him.”

His comment seemed to lighten things a bit, though the mood became heavier in other ways, and she smiled a little. “Perhaps you have too,” she suggested. “You simply need to see them in a better light.”

“A better light?” Alfred asked. “What other way is there to see them?”

“Spend some time with them,” she suggested. “And perhaps, speak with our mother about them, and about our father’s relationship with them. She’s told me much of how it used to be, how they helped our grandfather take Mercia. How he, in turn, gave them land here to settle on to farm. How they lived there peacefully. All stories have more than one side to them, Alfred. Perhaps you should learn theirs.”

“Is that what you’ve just done? Spent time learning their story?”

Aethelind nodded, and sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose. “It’s terrible. What’s happened to them… It’s nothing I would wish on anyone. Björn and Ubbe’s brothers have betrayed them- Hvitserk and Ivar. They took Kattegat from under Lagertha, who was apparently its rightful ruler. He murdered their other brother, Sigurd. And even more, Lagertha and Björn knew our father, very well. They loved him, and were loved by him. If you don’t want to help the others… can we at least agree to help them, Alfred? They are no ordinary Northmen. They were friends of our father’s.”

He sighed once more, his brows drawing together thoughtfully as he looked to the table. “Alright,” he eventually agreed. “Lagertha and Björn… I will agree to help, though I cannot say yet in what way. The others are your guests, and I will not take ask you to turn them away. In the meantime, while we work on a plan to offer them aid, I will order a feast to be held to welcome them tonight. Hopefully, this will ensure them of our good faith. And, in accordance with your request, I will… spend some more time with those who our father did not know- Ubbe and… what is the other’s name? The woman with him?”

"Torvi,” Aethelind supplied. “She’s his wife, yes. She seems to be very sweet so far. I wasn’t sure she trusted me overly much, when we first met, but multiple times throughout their explanation, she advised them to go more slowly, to give me time to process what I was learning. I like her.”

Alfred nodded a little, and smiled. “Ubbe and Torvi, then. I will try to know them better, to please you, dear sister.”

Aethelind smiled at her brother, and nodded. “Thank you,” she said. “I will be trying to know them all well, especially in the event we must work more closely with them toward anything. It is imperative that they be able to trust us, not only that we be able to trust them. If we’re to accomplish anything, we must trust each other. We must become with them how our father was with theirs.”

Alfred chuckled softly, an amused smile on his face. “You are very passionate,” he commented affectionately. “They are blessed to have you on their side. I might have turned them away, otherwise. And yet, here you are, arguing for their good. I wonder what else you may try to talk me into, the longer they’re here?”

“Nothing too drastic, I shouldn’t imagine,” she teased. “Though, I’m not sure… Björn may be unmarried.”

Alfred nearly choked, his eyes widening exponentially. “That will not be happening. I am saying no to that right now. You will not be the wife of Björn Ironside. No.”

Aethelind giggled at how easily Alfred had fallen for her joke, a wide grin splitting her face, and he sighed. He should known better by now than to take such a comment seriously. As all their family were rather serious, he couldn’t be sure where she’d gotten such a penchant for mischief. But, it was amusing, and it broke the common monotony of daily life around the castle. He couldn’t be too upset about that, could he?

“One of these days I’ll learn to stop falling for your little tricks,” he told her, and she only laughed more.

“Oh, where would be the fun in that?” she asked. “No, if there’s something I can always rely on you for, Alfred, it’s falling for my ‘little tricks’. And, for coming around to the right way of thinking about things.”

“Or, more accurately, for supporting you. Even in the strangest of your endeavors- of which I’m sure this is one. Helping Vikings reclaim their village. Grandfather Aelle must be turning in his grave, right now.”

The smirk Aethelind wore made Alfred realize that didn’t upset her in the slightest, as did the comment she made.

“I don’t quite see the harm in that.”

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