#i already get stressed when people message me on my days off about work stuff

[unbeeliever]

I think it really sucks that if you want to be a singer or actor, it's seen as part of your "job duties" to deal with people coming up to you in your time off and wanting your attention. Even if you're having a bad day, or just want to hang out with friends, you have to be "on duty" at all times, and that would get really tiring really fast.

[btsficsandsuch]

Taste of His Own Medicine

You suddenly have to leave to go back to your home country for a few months. Yoongi decides to ignore you so you decide to show him how it feels when he realizes you’re gone.

“Hi Yoongi.”, you said after letting yourself in the studio. You received nothing more than a grunt. “I brought you some food.”, you said trying to lure him over to the couch. “Not now Y/N. I’ve got a lot going on.”, he said without even looking at you. You were starting to get frustrated. Sure you wanted to spend time with him but you also had something really important and time sensitive to tell him. You knew he was already stressed and cranky and your news wasn’t going to make it any better. “Yoongi please come have dinner with me. I really need to talk to you about something.”, you begged. He slammed his hand on the desk and spun his chair around startling you., “What part of not now I’m busy are you not understanding? Sometimes you can be so frustrating Y/N. Please just get out and leave me alone.” You didn’t say a word and just grabbed your bag storming out of his studio slamming the door behind you.

Back at your apartment you were doing your best to calm your nerves. You couldn’t believe that he had the audacity to speak to you like that and even after you haven’t spoken or seen each other in three weeks. You felt that you were more than patient and understanding when he got into moods like this with his work. He always did this to you where he’d ignore you and if he did pay attention to you he was short with everything you did and said. You finished zipping up the last of your bags and placed them by the door along with your plane ticket. Something had come up and you had to fly back to your home country which was the reason for your visit to Yoongi’s today. You were going to tell him that in the morning you had to fly home and you’d be gone for at least two months. You had hoped to eat dinner together and cuddle a little since it would be the last time you’d be with each other for a while. Instead you were yelled at and called names.

The following morning you woke up and checked your phone secretly hoping for a text or a phone call or anything from Yoongi giving you a reason to call him and hear his voice before leaving for the airport but nothing. “Fine then. If he doesn’t care I won’t either.”, you thought slamming your phone down on the desk. You showered and got changed just finishing up when you got a notification that your ride was waiting outside. You grabbed your bags and took one last look at your apartment you’d be away from and closed the door behind you.

Once at the airport you remembered why you hated flying so much. The crowds of rude people, the loud noises, the having to rush no matter how early you are. You hated it. Your first flight went smoothly. You arrived at your layover destination and decided to grab something to eat while you waited to board your next flight. While eating your sandwich you remembered that you had turned your phone off before the last flight and pulled it out of your pocket to power it on.

Once up and running you waiting for any notifications to pop up. There were two texts from your mom, one from your best friend, and one from your boss. Then you saw something that concerned you. 11 missed calls and close to 20 texts messages, all from Yoongi.

Yoongles: Hey Y/N, I’m on my way home. Did you need me to stop and get you anything? I seriously can’t want to get in bed with you. I need a hug more than anything.

“Odd he wants to pretend like he didn’t snap last night.”, you thought before continuing to read.

Yoongles:Y/N where are you? I thought today was your day off.

Yoongles: Babe seriously you never go this long without responding.

Yoongles: Y/N why is a bunch of your stuff gone? Did you leave?

Yoongles: Listen I know I’ve been difficult lately but you know I love you and you mean everything to me.

Yoongles: Y/N please answer me. I’m really worried right now. Whatever happened we can fix it.

Before you could continue reading your phone started ringing again. You saw Yoongi’s name pop up. Part of you wanted to just ignore him but you did feel kind of bad knowing that he was in distress. You decided to answer,

“Hello”

“Y/N! Where are you? I’ll come to you. We need to talk”

“Umm I’m actually at the airport waiting for my connecting flight back home.”

“What?! You’re going back home? Like forever?”

“No I’ll be gone for at least the next two months. Maybe a little longer.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? You seriously just packed your stuff without saying goodbye.”

“Actually I came by your studio yesterday. Remember? I had found out yesterday morning that something has come up and I need to go back home for a while. I brought you food and asked you to talk to me. You ignored me and then yelled at me and called me annoying and told me to leave so I did.”

There was a long silence before Yoongi spoke again, “No this isn’t happening. I really don’t get to see you for at least two months? I can’t live like that.” You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, “Well maybe this will teach you not to take our time together for granted and to not treat me like that. They’re about to start boarding so I have to go. Take care of yourself Yoongi. I’ll see you when I get back.” With that you hung up not giving him the chance to say anything else. You knew it was harsh but he was also harsh towards you and you wanted him to regret his actions as petty as that might be. Maybe he’ll see what it feels like to be on the receiving end of feeling ignored. A taste of his own medicine.

You shut your phone back off and made your way to the gate boarding your next plane. Your next flight thankfully went quick and you landed back in your home country. You were going to be staying with your parents. Finally arriving at your parents house you quickly went up to your old room and laid in bed exhausted from the day of travel. You turned on your phone so you could charge it and set your alarm clock when you heard a bunch of notifications which you figured were all from Yoongi. You were correct. He had tried to call you six more times and sent you a bunch of texts,

Yoongles: Y/N I’m really sorry. I was such a jerk. I never should’ve asked you to leave.

Yoongles: Please let me know when you’ve landed so that I know you’re safe.

Yoongles: I’ll stop bothering you. Just please let me know you’re safe and okay. I’m laying in bed alone and I really miss you. I love you.

You sighed. As much as you wanted to completely ignore him you knew he’d be a nervous wreck all night if he didn’t know you were safe and you didn’t want that.

You: I just got to my parents so I’m safe. Get some sleep Yoongi. You really need it. I’ll talk to you another time.

Over the next couple months Yoongi texted you and called you more than he had in the last six months. You didn’t completely ignore him but you definitely tried to give him that taste of his own medicine.

You were able to get everything situated back home and got prepared to make the trip back to Seoul. You had decided to keep it a surprise from Yoongi telling him that you were still probably going to be gone for a few more weeks.Thankfully the trip was quick and easy and you were now making your way to his studio. You knocked on the door but all you heard was a muffled Go Away. Rolling your eyes you knocked again, this time louder and harder hoping to get his attention.

It worked because a few second later the door swung open with fury and standing there was a disheveled Yoongi. He looked like he hadn’t slept the entire time you were gone and he probably ate just enough to barely keep him alive. “What do you wa-?”, he stopped mid speech when his eyes met yours. Instantly he lunged forward wrapping his arms around you burying his face in your neck. Before you could say anything you felt his shoulder start to shake and not long after you felt warm tears landing on your neck. Gently you pushed him away to get a better look and saw that he was crying.

“Yoongles, why are you crying?”, you asked wiping at the tears. This was only the third time he had ever allowed you to see him cry and it was heartbreaking. He was taking this a lot harder than you ever thought he would.

Quickly you pulled him into his studio and sat him down on the couch trying to comfort him. After he was able to calm his breathing he leaned onto you snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, “I’m so sorry Y/N. I never knew how hard it was when I shut you out. These last couple months have been awful.” You kissed his forehead, “It’s okay Yoongi. I’m here now. I’m sorry that I just left like that but I wanted you to see how it felt even though it was painful for me too. I worried about you every day while I was gone.” He chuckled, “Yeah well I cried pretty much every night. I don’t know how you did it all these years. I promise I’m going to be better about spending time with you and I’ll watch my mouth.” You smiled while pushing the hair out of his face, “Good because next time I go home I just might not come back.” Yoongi shook his head at the thought.

You watched him walk over to his computer closing all of the systems and powering it off. “What are you doing?”, you asked confused. He started putting on his coat and walked over to take your hand, “We’re gonna go get something to eat and then go home. We have two months of cuddles to make up for and I’m not waiting any longer.” You smiled taking his hand and walking out of the room with him happy that you finally get to relax in his arms like you wanted from the start.

[vxiphoid]

RAINY REVERIE

❨ summary ❩ obey me › things they would do to cheer you up. hearts and minds have a tendency to break when there are too many thoughts in your head at once, how would they help?

tags ✧ nb!reader, established relationship, reader is going through it😞, slightly suggestive in lucifer’s part?, IM SORRY IF YOU HAVE A CAT ALLERGY (mammon), idol slander, bathing together, itty bitty angst in belphie’s.

amanuensis’ message ⊹ i tried to make the reader a bit different for each brother because people deal with being upset differently… but hello?? theres like 130 of you now, tysm for all of the support, i love you all sm sm :(<33

⌜ 2.5+ ⌟

obey me masterlist

LUCIFER

♫ wishful thinking - benee

╰ he understands more than anyone how stressful school or work can be. doesn’t help that rad piles more shit on as you advance. he’s offered to give you a message, pressing small kisses in his wake before smearing oil onto your skin.

“you did so well today.” lucifer praises gently against your skin, thumbing the junction between your shoulder blades. you sigh contentedly as he massages into your muscles with ease, his fingers brushing your skin in gentle strokes to help ease out the knots and tension that have accumulated over the day. you inhale sharply at the contact, and a small smile quirks up the corners of your mouth when you hear him hum happily at your reaction. “your hands feel good, not that i don’t like the feeling of your gloves, your hands just feel better. i like your hands on me.” you murmur, leaning further back into his touch, basking in his affectionate caress. there was a stutter in lucifer’s movements as he stiffened momentarily before relaxing once more, but it didn’t deter his hand from its progress. “well, i know that… i figured i take my gloves off a lot in your company since you like the feeling of them so much.” he murmurs, sounding slightly embarrassed by his own statement as he continues to massage at your shoulders. he makes sure his thumbs are positioned correctly on either side of your spine, his touch feather light. “i thought this was pure?” you ask teasingly, peering over your shoulder. lucifer gives you an unamused look, pushing harder into the small of your back which elicits another soft sigh from you. “this is pure. you’re tainting it.”

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MAMMON

♫ (your cat) don’t stand a chance - mustard service

╰ last thing he wants is you going to bed angry or upset in any way. even if it isn’t his fault he still feels like he needs to spoil you to make it better? so, he gets you something. in a box, a big box. yk nothing bad, just something he prolly shouldn’t have bought…

“heeey, pretty… so i know you’re having a really bad day ‘n shit but how would you feel if i brought you a cat?” mammon asked, stiffly pushing open his bedroom door with his shoulder, a light looking box in his arms. you eye him, hard. “what’s in the box, mammon.” the mewls of protest from within spoke for itself. when you bursted into his room clearly pissed off, mammon was already on his way out, kissing you and promising he’d be right back he just needed to grab some stuff. by stuff you didn’t think he’d be at the pet store buying a kitten, especially this breed. maine cats are expensive, he even went out of his way to buy toys and the necessities. you thought you would have been mad about it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be as the little baby ran around trying to catch a feather you swung around. the kitten finds rest in mammon’s mess of hair, likes to be carried around in hoodie pockets, and makes biscuits with it’s beans on your back. you couldn’t be mad at all, both the small fur ball and your boyfriend cleared all the stress you had. mammon lied down beside you in the floor, watching you jerk around the stick for the kitten to tail, he rests his head your shoulder. “you feelin’ better?” you nod with a natural smile and he kisses your shoulder. “good.” you say nothing, instead you pull him close and cuddle together on the floor, the kitten pawing mammon’s head before curling up for a nap. you smile, holding out your pinky. “don’t tell satan?” mammon takes your finger, pressing your thumb with his. “‘course not.”

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LEVIATHAN

♫ honey - red hearse

╰ levi was already dressed for a midnight walk when you came in, he figured you needed one too just to clear your mind. helps you put on your shoes and jacket while you rant about how horrible your day was, kisses your cheek while you two leave the house.

your boyfriend treats this like any other day, not in an ignoring way, no. he figures he’d rather listen to your rant then try to see the other person’s (asshole) side. in plus, if you get it all out of your system, you won’t be so pent up. he buys you your regular drink and holds it for you while you express your anger with your hands, bringing the straw to your mouth when you need a pause. “—and it wasn’t even my shift!” you huff, sipping your drink when levi brings it to you. “thank you, i love you. anyways, this bitch—“ you could go on and on for hours and he wouldn’t get tired of hearing your voice. eventually he’d tug you into one of those 24 hour cafes and request an outdoor seating area, preferably where there isn’t people. when your rant seemingly comes to a close, your forehead meets with levi’s shoulder with a heavy sigh. he kisses your crown, “d’you want anything off the menu? they still serve breakfast if you want any.” he smiles when you nod. “thank you for listening, i know that was a lot. ‘just been stressed.” his hand slips into yours, kissing the back of it. “i’m here for you whenever.” and he means it. you know that levi would give you literally anything in the world, he’d do anything for you and the little things only add to how precious he is.

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SATAN

♫ structure - odd sweetheart

╰ satan is a ticking time bomb when he’s mad, he may look okay but one minor inconvenience will send him over the edge. the plus side is that he knows most of the methods that could calm anyone down. those methods are watching really bad shows and their cringy acting.

the click of the spacebar signaled that you paused the show for the ninth time tonight, the silence loud between you and satan as you both stared at the blinding screen. his expression mirrored yours; slightly gaped mouth, squinted eyes, and meeting a glance before they returned to the frozen show. “she didn’t just kiss her husband to be’s brother after having a one night stand with their father…” he said quietly in disbelief. “on her wedding day.” you mumbled, forking around your takeout noodles in its cup. satan opened his mouth and you fed him some, treating yourself quickly afterwards. “y’all would watch anything at this point, kill your producer!” you and satan have been bingeing this horrible romance show for so long you completely forgot what time you even started watching it. its so ridiculous, not worse than idol, but still horrible. satan, on the other hand, was just glad you were enjoying yourself after a soiled day. you catch his eye and grin slightly, “what?” he shrugs with his mouth, turning back to the show. “nothing.” “mm, you want something, what is it?” you prodded again, leaning forward and giving him an inquisitive stare. you were sure you weren’t getting an answer by the way he was twirling his fork, so you leaned into him, brushing his hair away to press a kiss to his jaw, that caught his attention. “thank you, satan. for cheering me up.” you whispered to him sweetly. his lips curled up at the edges. “anything for you, love.” your eyes dart back to the screen after what you thought you saw actually happened. “she’s making out with their dad now?! go back, go back!!”

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ASMODEUS

♫ bad behavior - austin mills & remi wolf

╰ he knew that as soon as you walked into his room silent something was wrong. he just got out of the shower and you hugged him. you hugged him tighter than you usually do, and he noticed. he’s never seen you so deflated, tears filling your lash line. fortunately, asmo knows the perfect way to calm you down.

“okay baby, do you want hot pink or pink?” your eyes flick between the two headbands from your spot on the bathroom counter. you know they’re basically the same color, but it doesn't stop you from trying to guess which one is cuter. “hot pink.” you say finally, nodding in the direction of the headband in asmo’s right hand. “correct answer, you weren’t allowed to choose anything else.” asmo slips on your fuzzy headband and you snort as he carefully adjusted it on your head. “why’d you ask then?” you tease. asmo shrugs, leaning in closer to press a quick kiss under your eye. “so we can match!” after your emotional feeling day, your boyfriend suggested you join him in his skincare to take your mind off of everything for a bit. you agreed immediately, happy at the opportunity. you’ve been so stressed lately, working part time at a small coffee shop near campus while attending classes full time, and not having time to spend quality time with your boyfriend made you feel like you had let him down. you were grateful he was offering to help you out though. asmo’s finger hooked under your chin, using a silicone spatula to smear on a cool peel off mask onto your other cheek. you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist and he grins, pecking your lips before getting back to work on your mask. little whisps of champagne hair escaped from his headband, his tongue sticking from the side of his mouth while the mask between his brows crinkled in concentration. asmo always did this whenever he focused particularly hard, so you didn’t interrupt him even if he did start to ramble about something or another. you couldn’t get enough of watching him make himself so at peace with his surroundings. your lips meet his palm gently, and he quickly got the paragraph hidden behind such a small act. “you’re welcome, baby.”

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BEELZEBUB

♫ grey luh - berhana

╰ beel knows that even himself needs a bit of time alone before he’s ready for any interaction so he let’s you have you’re time. while he waits, beel prepares a bath of pure relaxation. scented candles, various different bath bombs, and even one of those bath tables.

you groan exasperatedly as beel lifts you from the warm embrace of your duvets, “i know, i know, i’m sorry. you can go back to bed in a minute…” he assures you, his voice soft and droopy. you’re about to protest but he shushes you by kissing you softly on the lips. “i know you need this.” with that you stop your whining and hum quietly, accepting a loving defeat. you were already starting to nod off against beel’s chest til your nose caught whiff of vanilla and the cold tiles of the bathroom under your feet as he set you down. the bath was filled with crystal clear water, a blue tint shimmering over the liquid due to the relaxing lighting. there were candles and various oils and body washes littering the shelves of the bathtub with a scent that was both sweet and refreshing at the same time. it was almost overwhelming in its complexity but it was also perfect because beel always made sure everything had an effect that would make you happy, calm, relax. “your week has been stressful so i wanted to make you something even it it isn’t a lot.” you smile brightly up at him, eyes shining with love for him despite still having bags underneath them, which he brushes away with another tender kiss. you already began to strip, your bones were aching for warm bubbling water on your skin. “just relax, okay? i’ll take care of you and we can go back to bed after dinner.” you pause just as you dip your leg into the water, “you’re not joining me?” beel blinks at you owlishly, mouth opening and closing a few times as if trying to find words, “you wanted me to join?” you blink back at him, confused until he finally says something intelligible again, “yes? why wouldn’t i want you to join me?” he smiles at you, a small and gentle curve of his lips that you couldn’t help smiling back at him. he wastes no time settling down behind you, your body immediately melting into his, the heat radiating out of him and warming you up like never before. “better?” he questions, hand rubbing your back soothingly, his other arm wrapped snugly around your waist. your head rested on his shoulder, arms loosely wrapping around his own torso. “absolutely. thank you.”

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BELPHEGOR

♫ valentina - dreamer isioma

╰ usually naps off his anger or sadness, basically letting it build up silently, naps do help him but he knows that naps won’t erase anybody’s pain in, like, two hours. belphie makes you a little care package; essential oils, sugar scrub, candles, sweets, blanket, plushies, melatonin gummies for the sleepless nights, headphones, etc… it was a rare sight seeing belphie out of bed and productive, instead your roles being swapped.

the attic’s stairs creaked as belphie ascended to where you were curled up on his bed. he approaches slowly, stretching his neck out a bit to check if you were sleeping. fortunately, you were not. “hey, babe? i got you something…” belphie muttered. you turned your head slightly, the glow from your d.d.d illuminating your face. belphie sat down next to you, laying out what was clearly a care package on a bedside table. the colors were subtle, a nice slightly desaturated blue with white accents for bows on the bag, few constellations littered the design. “you didn’t need to waste your money on me, belph.” you sigh, holding his face in your hand, belphie leans into your touch. “it wasn’t a waste. you’ve worked so hard.” he smiles as he kisses your palm. “plus, nothing’s a waste if its for you.” there was some static in the room, it made the atmosphere even more intimate. belphie rests his head against yours, taking a deep breath in. you smelled nice, and belphie felt immensely calm. “do you want anything else, hun? i could cook dinner…” belphie trails off, rubbing circles onto your arm. he feels you shake your head, “you’re more than enough. i’ll open the gift in a second, promise, just need you.” belphie kisses the top of your head, resting his cheek on top of it. there was static again, the feeling only growing more prominent as he pressed a kiss to your temple, “i love you.” you turn slightly to face belphie, placing your lips against his, they were soft, sweet, and tasted like honey and vanilla. you felt the tension plaguing your body ebb away, you relaxed into your lover. belphie pulls back, pressing another chaste kiss on your forehead, “i love you the most.”

[mt-oe]

its finals season (again..) and huge projects for classes right now. can we get a stressed reader x modern mizu where reader is like actually tweaking out? like I mean pulling our energy shots, shivering hands, 'gotta lock in', hysterically crying on snapchat video and sending it to their groupchat for moral support type of tweaking out and the reader is going BANANAS over all the final papers, and studying for finals and mizu helps comfort reader?? i hope this would be a silly little write but also helpful to anyone going through finals season right now. much love! xoxo <3

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dears!

To start this, I am absolutely sorry for being gone for so long. I had my thesis defense, practicals, laboratory works, deadlines, and my finals all in the span of two weeks AND I fainted twice, got sick twice, and nose bled a LOT.

I was chugging 3 cans of energy drinks a day, eating one meal per day, sleeping minutes less than how long I showered, and smoked quite a lot. Someone even caught me sleeping on the fire exit stairs (istg so embarrassing ;;). Honestly makes me wonder how I'm not six feet under by now.

To those who are going through their finals, please don't follow my lead. Vomiting at 3am from how dizzy you are while some Sepultura song plays in the background is NOT the experience you'd think it was. Try to plan when you'll tackle your work and get some sleep as much as you can, on your free time, on your commute. I swear, answering tests are SOO much easier when your vision isn't spinning or tunneling.

Chose to do this request first to remind you all to take care amidst your finals (or as a reward if your finals are finished, good job dear!).

Hope you enjoy! Mwa mwa <3

warning: not proofread, my corny jokes, she/her for mizu, implied afab reader

Blue orbs watched as you cracked open another can of Red Bull. A small grunt leaving your throat as the fizzy caffeinated drink went down your esophagus. Was this your second? third..no wait..fourth?

Damn.

How are your blood vessels surviving this onslaught of caffeine you've been shoving down your system? She had no clue. But what she did know was that you've had enough. This wasn't healthy at all. Your lips were already as pale as the palms of your hands which were trembling to the point where you couldn't stop writing because that meant you'd feel the quivering of your hands even more.

The two of you had decided to slave off at Mizu's apartment for your finals. It was mostly Mizu dragging you there since your friends have been bombarding her to take care of you since she had the closest to what was considered a free schedule. T'was something about you freaking out and crying over the finals. She didn't have a Snapchat account so she didn't know.

Usually, she wasn't even interested in these stuff, but when Akemi showed her a picture of you with a thumbs up, holding a can of Monster, dark circles under your bloodshot eyes, tear streaks on your face, with the caption 'Boutta pull another Kay Chung tonight', concerned didn't even begin to describe what she felt.

Boutta pull a Kay Chung?

What or who was this Kay Chung anyway?

She knew you were a hard worker, probably one of the most studious people she knew, so she already expected you to be busy studying. What she didn't expect was the mess you were in.

The moment she stepped into your unit, cans of energy drinks, bottles of energy shots, cups of coffee, and random paper strewn randomly littered your apartment. The only source of light was your window and a small dim lamp you had.

Was that cup noodle container growing mold?

Ew.

It was like the Capital Wasteland in here, and she was the lonesome wanderer, awaiting the dangers to come.

And you were a radiated ghoul hunched over your desk with the emptiest gaze she has ever seen. Your head in your hands, as you scrunched your eyebrows together, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with your equation.

Now she understood the bombardment of messages from Akemi and the others, and damn was she grateful for the heads up because you looked like you were at death's door and death... Death just thought you looked too pitiful to let in.

The two of you were now sitting on Mizu's carpet, books, papers, and gadgets on the smooth wood of the coffee table. In her mind, she thought a bit of companionship would comfort you like it usually did. But she was wrong.

The shaking grip you had on your pen and the occasional 'what the actual fuck?' or 'the hell?' already told her that you were too locked in to relax even just a bit. You looked like you were losing it.

Her eyes peered over your review sheet before she raised an eyebrow at how scattered your handwriting looked, numbers and symbols italicized to the left and to the right as if they were dancing and your solutions scattered. Add this value here..derive the formula there..problem 3's solution is somehow on the back of the paper even though problem 5 was solved on problem 1's spot. It looked like a shit show.

"What...problem is this for? You did it wrong." Her tongue clicking as a slender finger encircled a formula you derived wrong, making you look at her with a mildly bothered look. Your eyes tiredly scanned your review sheet, looking away to the side to blink the heaviness of your lids away, then looking back at it before letting out a strangled sounding groan, shoulders slumping back onto the sofa as you covered your eyes with your hands before looking at your own solutions again. "I don't fucking know..maybe it's for..umm..for..fuuuuuck," you sighed defeatedly, realizing that you couldn't understand your own handwriting either.

You wanted to strangle yourself so bad right now or like, strangle your professor until they give you a passing grade. Maybe the threat of arson would scare the university admins into passing everyone for the semester???? The prospect of being a sugar baby is starting to sound better than trying to finish this degree.

It wasn't like you were an absolute idiot. You could solve these problems no problemo. However, your vision was already lagging and tunneling. Whenever you tried to read the problem or your own handwriting, it was like your vision was hyper-focusing on one spot and the areas around it were...spinning or it'd focus on everything else EXCEPT the ones you wanted to focus on.

The amount of caffeine you had consumed wasn't even helping anymore. Instead of waking you up, you just felt jittery like a hyper-charged toy. Before you were sleepy and slow, now you were still sleepy but faster.

And when was the last time you even ate anyway? Was that moldy cup noodle your last meal? You didn't even know anymore at this point. You could barely feel anything aside from the fear of your impeding academic doom. Not even hunger was strong enough to stop you.

Mizu's eyebrows furrowed at how miserable you looked before sighing and pulling a sheet of paper out of her own notebook. "Here," she sighed out, sitting beside you and scanning each problem you had printed out before re-writing each question you looked like you struggled with. Her eyes occasionally glanced at you, unseen worry rising with every hitch of your breath and every twitch of your eyebrow as you looked at the questions she rewrote.

"Mizu..I don't want to do those all again," you groaned frustratedly, ruffling your hair own hair aggressively, strands falling to the carpet below. A hand held yours firmly, preventing you from tangling the ends of locks even more. "I'm going to teach you, dumbass. We can't have you failing and dying at the same time," she huffed, grabbing your calculator and placing it in front of both of you. She leaned closer to you, hand on your waist to pull you closer before taking the pencil and pointing to the first problem she rewrote.

"I'm not going to repeat my explanations, so listen well,"

...was what she said.

However, Mizu was a big softie when it came to you. Every time she caught you spacing out or having a hard time in general, she took her time and explained it to you again, even explaining it slower, simpler, or more detailed as needed. She really made sure that you understood the principle of the problems and the process of solving them, handing the pencil and calculator to you to make sure you actually understood her.

After a while, you were slowly starting to understand you earlier mistakes, and with her help, you were able to finally solve the review sheet. Thank god for hot smart women.

A look of amusement crossed her face as she watched you slump back onto the sofa with a loud sigh of relief. Shaking her head with a small lop-sided smile, she took the pen again before grabbing your laptop and searching for similar problems. "Here," she said, turning the device towards you. "Solve these. I'll be back in a bit."

You looked at her in confusion before letting out a tired groan. The exhaustion was starting to let itself be known through the heaviness in your lids. Another problem set was the last thing you wanted to do right now.

Oh wait.

Fuck, you still had to edit your methodologies and results, and you haven't even started on the discussion yet. Oh god...

'Better get started, I guess,' you thought with a defeated sigh. Muttering a string of curses under your breath, you picked up your pencil and calculator and began solving yet another set of hellish questions while the dark-haired woman stood up and walked off somewhere in her apartment. Silence filled the room aside from the aggressive scritching and scratching of lead against paper and the sound of clacking from your calculator.

Every now and then, Mizu would come back with something to comfort you. May it be a cup of water, a bigger pillow, a hair tie, or to charge your phone for you. She didn't really speak though, fully wanting you to focus on your work.

It was like her quiet little way of telling you that she was here and that she cared for you.

Amidst your problem solving, the smell of something being fried hit your nose, making you look up. It was a bit oily, but at the same time, homely and savory. Your stomach growled slightly at the smell, reminding you of that uncomfortable feeling of hunger that you were somehow able to ignore during your study sessions.

Just as you had finished writing your answers, Mizu came out of the kitchen with a bowl of rice and a plate of what seemed to be fried fish. Kinda burnt but maybe that's a charm point...or something. At least she tried.

She set it down on a clear space on the coffee table and gently urged it towards you. "Here," she mumbled, looking at you expectantly. You stared at the food she prepared, snorting a bit at the charred skin, some bits missing which obviously stuck to the pan while she was frying it. "Err..Mizu...?"

"Don't mind how it looks just..just eat, okay?" she groaned, sounding a bit embarrassed, a bit of pink dusting her cheeks. Her eyes looking away as her hand went up to cover half her face. You couldn't help but laugh a bit. Mizu? Embarrassed? God that woke you up, didn't it?

The sound of your laughter made her feel even more embarrassed but at the same time relieved. Your laugh was so fucking cute. She was glad that you were starting to sound a bit more like your usual self. Hell, you were smiling now. A big improvement compared to the face of misery you were making earlier.

Eventually, your laughter subsided upon the realization sinking into you. She really did all this just to take of you. Dragging you to her apartment, tutoring you, fetching things for you, cooking for you...

She really does care. Doesn't she?

Your hands picked up the chopsticks before breaking into the soft flesh of the food in front of you, picking off the bones before taking a bite. It was salty, the char even made it a bit bitter, and for god-knows-why, even a bit spicy?? But it tasted so good to you. Heavenly, dare I say.

As you continued to eat, bite after bite and scoop after scoop, the shakiness in your hands slowly calmed down. You couldn't help but look up at your friend who was now checking your answers, the ghost of satisfaction making itself known through the barely visible smile she had. "Mizu..."

She looked over at you, raising an eyebrow to indicate that she was listening. "Thank you for uh..taking care of me," you said shyly, giving her a small smile. A low chuckle escaped her throat as she shook her head slowly as if in amusement. "At least you're not shaking like a leaf anymore," she joked, followed by you letting out a small 'hmph!', making her chuckle yet again.

Though she wouldn't tell it to you right now, she'd be more than happy to take care of you anytime you wanted or needed it.

The sound of your pen tapping on the paper filled the room again as her eyes narrowed at your answers, checking it carefully. After a while, she handed the paper back to you, looking very much satisfied. "Looks good," she said, eyes watching the proud smile on your face. "How 'bout a reward?...Some rest I suppose?"

Your smile faltered at the sound of rest. "I can't...my manuscript is due in a couple of days and I haven't even finished editing my methodologies and results," you explained, opening the files for each of your chapters. "The data isn't even tabulated in the required format. It looks like shit."

She stood up from her spot and sat next to you, placing a hand on your head to pat it gently as she looked at the screen. Her eyes narrowed again while you scrolled up the file for her before she sighed. "Yeah, it does look like shit," she agreed before suddenly grabbing your laptop and setting in front of her. "Go and take a nap or something. I'll do whatever I can to...whatever this is."

"But Mizu, this isn't even your field. I can't—" She cut you off with a finger to your lips before gesturing towards the sofa behind the both of you. "Nap," she ordered firmly. You sighed before standing up and laying down on the sofa. You knew there was no use arguing. When Mizu makes up her mind, she's deadset on it.

Her eyes scanned your figure for a moment, taking in every curve of your body and the way your face relaxed. Then, she took off her jacket and draped it over you, before giving you a small loving pat. Before you could even open your mouth to protest, she immediately shushed you and turned to your manuscript, scanning over it.

Your eyes observed the way her eyebrows furrowed and the way her eyes darted from word-to-word. The sound of her typing and clicking filling the room, oddly relaxing you.

It didn't take long for you to drift off to sleep. And for the first time since hell week started, you finally relaxed.

No frustration, no stress, just...sleep.

You did nap for hours longer than expected though.

Don't worry.

Your methodologies were now updated, results properly formatted, and ideas in bullet points for your discussion were laid out in a new file. Even your references were fixed.

Damn, you really wanted to smooch Mizu reaaal hard after this.

[sakumasmut]

Enstars x Reader NSFW Month Day 10

Himeru x Bunny!Fem!Reader

late again, but I promise it’s worth it. Lily when you see this, hope you enjoy (and maybe be inspired to write a continuation wink nudge)

tags/warnings: breeding, vaginal sex, mating cycles

ao3

The coming of spring meant several things. Sunny days, floral breezes, gardens and parks full of color, and an uptick in sneezing from the unfortunate souls with pollen allergies (poor Koga was wearing a mask every time you saw him). For those with more primal instincts, the warmer weather meant it was the start of mating season. For the bunnies in Ensemble Square, it was time to either avoid contact with everyone and quarantine themselves, or get busy until all their cravings were satisfied.

You assumed heats were a necessary evolutionary trait thousands of years ago, but in the present day when your main source of stress was working an office job in a capitalist economy, your part-rabbit body throwing a hissy fit over not having a mate just made things even more stressful. The current situation you were in was a prime example of what problems the mating season could bring to the table, kneeling in front of a newer producer and comfortingly stroking their arm as they quivered in their seat.

“Stay here until the taxi arrives.” You spoke calmly to them. They were shaking and flushed red, not having expected to go into heat in the middle of work. “Once you get home, stay there until all the symptoms go away. Don’t worry about work; I’ll take care of it, m’kay?”

“Thank you, senpai.” They quietly sobbed, squeezing and rubbing their long ears to soothe themselves.

They were extremely lucky you happened to notice them hunched over in the hall and escorted them to a safe room before their vulnerable position attracted the wrong type of person. Mating season clouded people’s senses, you knew that too well. Married hybrids usually mated during March, to get it out of the way, but for single people, it was mostly just a waiting game until your body decided it craved a mate. You hadn’t gotten your heat yet, but you felt prepared to lock yourself in a room and call a taxi the moment you felt any sort of onset, to avoid ending up in the exact situation you were helping your coworker out of. For now though, you felt as fresh and (relatively) not horny as ever, and so said goodbye to the younger producer once their lift had arrived, escorting them to the car before rushing off to the meeting you were already late for.

“Sorry I’m late!” You quickly spoke as soon as you pushed the door open, the only person in the room looking up from the sound of your voice.

“Don’t worry, Himeru got your message.” The idol replied cooly, demeanor as nonchalant as ever. “The emergency situation you were dealing with, is it alright now?”

“Yes, yes, it’s all good.”

You were glad Himeru was an understanding person. It was a quality you liked about him, among other things. Maybe you were biased since you had worked with him for a few months on his solo jobs, but he always treated you kindly. You did notice he was harsher with his rowdy unit mates, but it only made you giggle more than anything, seeing him as the sort of person who gave as much respect as he received.

“If it’s not rude for Himeru to ask, what was it you were preoccupied with?”

“Ah, just some rabbit related stuff. You know how spring is for us.”

He frowned and knit his brows together as he looked you up and down.

“Producer, you aren’t feeling…ill, are you?” Himeru asked, “Himeru wouldn’t want you to be in a public place if you’re experiencing such symptoms.”

You flushed, realizing his misunderstanding. “No, ah, it’s not me! I was helping a younger rabbit who went into heat!” Being all red in the face and running into the room covered in sweat didn’t help with your case, as you could tell from his unchanging expression.

“Trust me, I would not be anywhere near here if my heat started! It usually starts pretty late in the spring, so I’m safe for a while.”

He nodded, expression relaxing at your assurances.

“It would certainly pose a large problem if it did. Though, if you ever find yourself in an unpleasant situation like that, Himeru would be glad to assist you in any way possible.”

“Huh?” You blinked at his words. What did he mean by that? Surely he meant that you could rely on him during emergencies, right?

“Now, shall we talk about your latest proposal?”

“Ah, yes!” You smacked yourself on the cheeks to rid yourself of those thoughts. “Here, I have the paperwork. Look over it and tell me what you think!”

xxx

You certainly weren’t lying when you said your heats came rather late into the season. People always complained about getting them early in March, but at least when they got them, afterwards they could go about their lives freely with no worries about getting sucker punched by their bodies. For you, spending a good two months worrying about the possibility that it’d come earlier was always a source of stress you had to push in the back of your mind, until finally it did come on a sunny May morning.

You woke up in a sweat, despite having taken a shower the previous night, and everything felt warm, way too warm. Funnily enough, you were meant to meet up with Himeru that afternoon, just as you did last month when you dealt with your coworker going into their own heat. You remembered what he had said about helping you if you ever found yourself in this situation, and thinking about the idol’s words made your horny mess of a brain wander to very obscene thoughts, which you had to smack yourself on the head to rid yourself of. No! You weren’t thinking clearly! You did struggle to understand what he meant, until you considered he likely referred to helping you with calling out of work and telling your clients you’d be unavailable. Having someone do all that for you rather than struggle with forming coherent sentences through a slog of calls sounded great right about now, and so you dialed him up once you managed to grab your phone. He picked up immediately after the first beep.

“Good morning, producer. Do you need Himeru for something?”

Just the sound of his alluring voice was making your body heat up. Stupid horny brain.

“Yeah, sorry this is sudden, but I need help with my heat.” You muttered, before realizing how it sounded without context and backtracking, “I meant—I need help with work, because I’m in heat! I need to tell my clients that I’ll have to reschedule, and you said that you could help, right?”

There was silence on the other end, and for a second you worried that maybe you had offended him somehow, before he responded with an “Understood, Himeru will inform everyone he needs to.”

You thanked him gratefully, and recited a list of people for him to message or call about your situation. That was a big weight off your shoulders, and now you could sink into bed and deal with your heat…all alone…

“Producer, can Himeru help in any other way? This time of year must be quite exhausting for your kind.”

Indecent thoughts of him came flooding back, of scenarios where Himeru could help you in ways your body needed the most…

“Perhaps you’d like him to bring you food and other supplies?”

“T-That’d be great, thanks.”

You hung up after giving him your address, and flopped yourself back onto the sheets, skin feeling sweaty and mind replaying how his voice sounded against your ear, wanting to hear it again after only a few seconds. The professional in you was already regretting saying yes to his offer, asking what kind of producer would invite an idol to their house in the middle of their heat, but the other part of you who saw him as a friend, perhaps a bit more, did really want the company. It would still be a while before he got here though, especially since he promised to do some of your work for you, and you wondered if your impatient body could even last until then.

A wave of desire washed over you, making you shudder. You tugged one of your long ears over your face, rubbing circles soothingly on the pink insides as your legs kicked your blanket off the bed. Your body was way too hot, yet no amount of ice would cool it off, only another person’s own heat enveloping your own would make it go away. You began to grind your hips against your pillow, whining into it, trying to pretend it was another person’s body—specifically a certain blue-haired idol. If you shut your eyes, maybe you could pretend he was already here in your house, comforting you with his presence.

You wondered how it would feel grinding against his thigh, imagining his yellow eyes watching you with immense interest. Yes, you could envision it so well in the blank space of your hormone filled brain. His hands would rest on your hips, holding you in place so you couldn’t climb off as you bucked against his leg. He’d see the wet mess pooling from your crotch area, dripping onto his pants, but rather than chastise he’d praise you, encouraging you to keep humping his leg until you came all over him.

You whined to yourself, the friction between your thighs and the pillow only making you feel a dull ache. You kept trying to chase an orgasm, anything to make your tensed up body feel better, but with only air for your cunt to clench around, you couldn’t bring yourself to. The buzz of the doorbell snapped you out of your daydream. How many minutes had passed? Were you so immersed in the scenario in your head that time had flown without you realizing, or was Himeru just that fast in getting to you? Your legs were shaky as you stood up, each step making your body wobble forward. You doubted you’d be able to leave the bed if you fell back onto it. You opened the door, and as expected Himeru was there, holding a plastic grocery bag.

“Good morning, producer.” His eyes scanned your form, and you did your best to stand upright without shaking. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I-I’m fine. Come on in.”

You tried to look composed as he entered, trying to keep your ears upright and hoping that he couldn’t sense the pheromones your body was releasing. If he could, he didn’t give any indication, expression as blank as ever while he placed the bag on your kitchen counter.

“Himeru admits, he doesn’t know much about your situation. But he tried to get things that could help.”

He took out some snacks and drinks, ones that you immediately recognized as your go-tos in the break area of the ES building. You smiled softly, touched that he would remember your preferred foods.

“Thank you. This means a lot.”

“It’s not a problem. Is there anything else Himeru can do for you while he’s here?”

He kept asking that same question, if he could do anything for you, and the short answer was that he could. But you were too scared to make the first move, in case he actually wasn’t interested in going further than your relationship as an idol and producer. Surely he’d cut ties with you if he didn’t mean it that way, and not seeing him again would hurt more than the rejection. Your body heated up again, as if begging you to voice your desires. You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from audibly whimpering, something Himeru noticed.

“You look quite feverish, perhaps you should go back to your bed to rest?”

“Y-Yeah, maybe I should. Let me just put these away first…”

You took a step towards the counter to take some of the food away, but immediately stumbled. You braced yourself for the impact, but Himeru’s hands moved quickly to catch you. One hand grabbed your shoulder while the other circled around your stomach, pulling you up against his chest. A moan couldn’t help but come out of you at the warmth of his touch, cutting through the sexual tension like a knife. You froze up when you realized what you did, the silence following making you almost certain he heard it.

“S-Sorry, I’m just so…” You stammered, trying to come up with excuses. “out of it.”

His hands were still on you, the mere contact making you want to collapse into his chest. You really didn’t want him to let go, you wanted to imagine his arms wrapped around you forever, so you wondered when you were going to be hit with reality and have his arms release their hold, expecting him to excuse himself and leave you to deal with your heat alone again. Except, they didn’t. They stayed on your body, and you swore he even pulled you closer.

“Meru?”

“…Forgive Himeru for being unprofessional, but I can’t bear to leave you in this state.”

You looked up at him in surprise, only now noticing how hungry his gaze was as his eye bore directly into you. He moved the arm that was around your waist underneath your legs to scoop you up into a bridal carry. All the snacks went ignored as he brought you into your bedroom, having decided to have a taste of something else. You squealed as he dropped you onto the mattress. You would be embarrassed by how messy your bed was if your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest from the sight of Himeru leaning over you, face so close to yours you could hear his breathing. You truly felt like prey, his prey.

“If you want me to leave, tell me so now.”

His voice was husky, looking at you with a deadly serious expression that made shivers run down your spine. His presence was intoxicating, you couldn’t let him leave now. You needed him here, with you, to satisfy you. You kept your lips shut as you stared straight at him, and your arms uncrossed themselves from above your chest to rest on either side of your body.

“Stay. Please.”

His expression softened at your resolution, and he reached a hand out to stroke your long ears gently, gliding his fingers upwards along the fur. You whimpered, thighs squeezing together. Himeru noticed, and gently placed a hand on one knee to pry your legs apart. A wet spot on your crotch area gave away your arousal, and he hummed.

“Poor girl. May I take these off?”

You nodded, and he carefully pulled your pajama bottoms off, exposing your soaked pussy. He pressed a finger against one of your swollen lips, already glistening with your juices. You trembled as he brought it to his mouth, making eye contact with you as he licked it clean.

“So wet already…your body must not want to waste any time.”

He didn’t either, as his gaze momentarily left your body to focus on the buttons of his pants. Seeing the tent that had formed in the short time it took to bring you here filled you with a sense of satisfaction, eased that he was enjoying this as much as you were. Once you saw his erection pop out from his boxers, your body seemed to clench even tighter in anticipation, unable to resist the idea of having it stuffed inside you. Your instincts told you to get onto all fours, knees spread wide to present yourself to your mate, and Himeru cooed at your eagerness.

“Good girl. Such a good bunny for me.”

His words went straight to your cunt, feeling it throb even before his dick was anywhere near it. Being reduced to the bunny in heat you were, his bunny, just felt right. You weren’t a producer right now, you were a helpless rabbit that was begging to be bred. He parted your folds with two fingers, coating them with your slick and rubbing it on his length, lubing it up as you squirmed impatiently, your tail’s movements giving away your excitement.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I-I…”

Even now, when you were so close to what your body craved, your lips refused to move. He leaned in close to your ear, close enough that you felt them brush against it when he spoke.

“Do you want me to mount you?”

Fuck.

You whined, babbling affirmative noises as he chuckled at how his words left you quivering in anticipation, lifting your rear high into the air to ask him to take you already. The warm feeling of something pressing against your entrance followed. He pushed himself in slowly, much too easily with how wet you were. Every nerve in your body was focused on the feeling of his length sinking completely into your wet cunt, all the way to the hilt, before slipping back out. Even in your wildest wet dreams you never thought he would be making you feel so full, so complete.

The noises you made were all quiet, either cut short by them catching in your throat or muffled by the pillow you were burying your face into. If he were going any faster, surely the squelch between your union would make a wonderful sound, but at his current pace the only sound in the room was his breathing and your muffled whining.

Himeru’s hands kept your hips steady as he pushed in and out of you, each thrust making the butterflies in your stomach flutter. Being filled by him just felt so right. This was what you were craving, cock stuffed inside you, body weight pressed down to make sure you couldn’t escape. Yet despite how your body trembled, how your legs were spread so wide for him, Himeru was still taking it slow, trying to make sure he wasn’t pushing you too much. It was still relieving your desire, but the slow jolts of pleasure weren’t enough, you needed something more primal to satiate yourself.

“What’s wrong?” He hummed, rocking his hips back and forth, “Is Himeru’s little bunny still needy?”

“Hah~ Meru…” You whined. “Faster, please, I want to feel you deep inside me~”

Who was he to deny you when you sounded so desperate underneath him? He pulled his cock out almost entirely before sinking balls deep inside you, making sure to do it harshly enough that your toes curled when he did. A louder whine escaped you, and it found itself joined by more as he slammed himself into you over and over again. Your short tail brushed against the skin of his stomach, flicking back and forth with each thrust. He reached out to take it in his hand, and you mewled when he lifted it up.

“So you’re sensitive here.” He hummed, gently stroking the white under-fur with his thumb.

“A-Ah, w-wait, mmh~”

Your eyes nearly rolled back in your head, knees wanting to give in from his touch, but he made you keep your hips upright, your back falling to a downwards slant as your arms gave in. You cried out when the first orgasm of your heat finally came, and through it all he just kept fucking you into the mattress, his own grunts of effort filling the air as he focused on the feeling of your warm walls trying to milk his cock.

“Bunny, you’re so tight.” He grunted. “You’re going to make me finish, too.”

“Inside, do it inside!” You whined, pushing your hips back towards him. Being in heat meant you were the most fertile you could’ve ever been; if he came inside you, surely it’d end with carrying his litter. But instead of being terrified of the idea, in the haze of your heat you wanted nothing more than for him to fill you up with his kids, as many as he wanted. He seemed to hesitate, noticeably slowing down.

“I-Himeru shouldn’t do that.”

“Hah, Meru, please!” There were nearly tears in your eyes as you turned to look back at him, pleading. “Breed me, knock me up, just give me everything!”

Your voice was so desperate, your body so eager to take his seed, to become his breeding bunny…he couldn’t help himself, his movements becoming more erratic as he growled out your name. He didn’t seem like he was going to pull out anymore, that was sure.

You mewled as his cock continuously pressed against the entrance to your womb, as if trying to coax it to open a bit further for the oncoming delivery. You chanted his name, the only noise reaching your ears your pitiful “Meru”s until he finally let out a loud groan, eyes shutting tight as he came inside you. The warmth flooding into you made your body and brain equally fuzzy, leaving you unable to think as you both came down from your highs.

“Did that satisfy you, bunny?” Himeru murmured against your ear, lips brushing over them and almost kissing them. He was still inside you, and you were sure he could feel how you clenched tightly around his cock at his words, wanting to feel it grow hard again.

“My my, seems like it didn’t.” He tisked, lifting your hips up high and forcing your shaky knees to support the weight of his hips pressed flush against your ass with a half-hearted whine. “You’re making me work overtime, producer. So all I ask is that you reward Himeru appropriately.”

If the reward he wanted was to make you swell with kids, well, it was practically already fulfilled. After all, he wasn’t going to leave his bunny alone after only one load, was he?

[hackedmotionsensors]

So yesterday I was having a very stressful day (which...is probably bad that I'm less stressed today bc I still have a LOT of work to do in literally no time.....freelance....kinda sucks lmao)

It caused me to stress cry twice. I was stress drawing for like 12 hrs. I felt like I was getting a lot of mixed messages from the director and a whole mess of stuff that was really making me crazy.

So I cried really hard at around...like 930 or 10p. I eventually stopped working after that figuring that idk fifty three full panels in one day when my original panels were 73 and I'm only on my original panel 28 (AGAIN A LOT OF MIXED MESSAGES MEANT I HAD TO ADD A LOT MORE WHEN THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DEALT WITH AT THE THUMBNAIL STAGE....ANYWAY)

So. I stopped working. I was really stressed. And I also kept hearing something chewing or scratching outside my windows. And I have major ptsd from when we had rats in the attic. So I went outside to investigate. Just to make sure the grates were still where they were supposed to be. We have a lot of fruit trees so it could have just been squirrels going after my persimmons (something I ALSO don't want THOSE ARE MINE!!!!)

I go outside. I have my little flashlight. I don't see anything but I hear something else that sounds like the hose is on. But it sounds like its on in the back part of the yard. Which is very very dark and a lot of big trees and grape vines and all sorts of plants that make it impossible to see (also where the rats were originally hiding).

So I go to the faucet to turn off the water. Which also wasn't easy bc the plants had grown around the faucet (how is my 80 year old land lady getting to it?!) I go to turn the water off.....the water is already off.

What the hell am I hearing? So I follow the hose back to the darker part of the yard, I go under the overhanging wisteria that has loads of vines hanging down and I don't want my hair to get caught. I step into the dark part of the yard.....and reflecting back and stock still

is a fucking raccon.

And like an idiot....I get really scared and bolt. The only thing is....I forgot about the vines that hang down and one of the wisteria vines snags MY FUCKING FACE. It caught me right on the bridge of my nose, going right over my eyes. LITERALLY IT WAS LIKE THIS

My head LITERALLY got pulled back lmao. I embarrassed myself in front of the raccoon and all the creatures in the yard I'm sure.

I never found out what was making that noise in my yard (tho I assume its either the raccoon or the raccoon was hunting whatever was making the noise). I never figured out why it sounded like the hose was on.

I learned a valuable lesson that THIS IS WHY LATIN PEOPLE DON'T ~~INVESTIGATE~~ shit. The white woman side of me won out and fucked up.

I'm okay but i have a few little (very little )scrapes on my face under and near my eyes. I'm kinda lucky I didn't actually damage my eye. I had no idea these vines were that strong

[bg-brainrot]

To start, I’m a huge fan of your writing! Seriously, I’ve been reading your stuff since maybe October or November? I always look forward to updates, and I genuinely think your writing is of top-notch quality. Thank you for sharing your stories with us on the internet. ❤️

I saw your post saying you were in game development, and I wanted to ask what are some good ways to network and work with game studios? I’m actually an artist working in the animation industry now (this is an alt account to save posts for my brainrot lmao), but would love to transition into games sooner or later, just not sure how to find good info or leads? There’s only so many animation studios producing major work so it’s easier to scout info, but the world of games is daunting to say the least, even if I’ve been a gamer my whole life.

Any insight helps, but totally understand if you don’t have a straightforward answer to this question lol. You rock, and hope you’re having a good day!

Ahhh first off, thank you so much for reading my fic <33 You best believe I recognize your username when you like my posts and I appreciate it every single time. C: Second, thank you for asking a question!!! I am unreasonably excited to answer it!

To answer your question, I have a few tips, but I will say it will definitely depend on where you live what resources are available to you (it sucks, and it's honestly a huge downside to this industry :') ). Some tips below, sorted by, like availability ~

Networking from anywhere:

Join Discords! There are a ton for general game developers, a ton for people in specific fields, a ton for specific demographics within gaming, a ton for recruiting or for connecting with mentors-- and honestly, it can seem like a lot, there are a ton of people, a lot of them might already know each other, etc. but everyone is super friendly and super willing to help.

Join GameJams! I cannot stress this enough, but one of the biggest things that will help someone transition into games from another field is experience making games (I know it sounds counterintuitive, but bear with me haha)-- but making games, even if they're small games you make with a group over a weekend, shows directly applicable experience and looks great on a portfolio! GameJams are an easy way to find a group, set aside time, and make a game before you even join a studio. Bonus note: animators are *always* in high demand for those.

Reach out to people whose work you like directly! This is by far the most nerve-wrecking (to me at least), but reaching out to people, like cold-emailing, cold-LinkedIn messaging, is just such a good way to get to know people. As awkward as it is for you, people who like what they do will always be excited to answer questions and help set you on a path forward (like me! I receive messages myself and each time I get excited that someone even bothered to reach out tbh). If you're super lucky, you may even get a mentor out of it!

From in-person locations:

Join local indie dev meetups! I've done this in my area, and each and every time everyone is so willing to talk, to connect, and to give each other advice. The best part of these meetups is that they tend to be very informal, and you may even find teams looking to expand.

(Disclaimer, this one is expensive and genuine connections can be difficult given the sheer number of participants, but it's not impossible) Attend conventions/game dev events! Even at GDC, people from all types of industries attend to try to get their foot in the door, speak with recruiters, get portfolio advice, and learn a bit more about how the industry works. A quick word of warning for this one: be wary of the type of convention! For example, GDC is great for growth and connections, but attend something more press-oriented like PAX or more creator-oriented like TwitchCon and you may be disappointed at the lack of opportunities to just sit and talk. Smaller conventions can sometimes be more helpful to actually network as well.

Attend any local universities/incubator programs game showcases! Again, hyper-specific to this being in your area, but often people will take time to show off their game, host in-person game jams, and more-- usually you'll find these around major universities, major companies, and even places like video game museums. All great places to meet and get to know some mentors or even recruiters.

and some general tips for animation specifically that you probably already know as an animator in another field but are always worth mentioning:

Make sure that you know what type(s) of animation you want to get into (Technical animator, rig specialist, gameplay animator, etc.), which studios rely on which animation types (some studios have one generalist, some split up their animation pipeline very thoroughly, some have only 2D animators, some 3D, some a mixture of both), and which game engines they use-- the more programs you know, the better, of course. I've seen 2D animators spend many a personal hour learning 3D animation for the sake of getting on a game they want to work on, so the sooner you learn the better :')

Again I want to stress the gamejam, but if you don't want to talk to other people or it's difficult to find one, I would recommend at least trying to make your own small game. The reason being that, while animators in general are super highly sought after in the industry, the more you know about game development itself the more sought after you will be! A good animator is fantastic, an animator who knows why their animation breaks as soon as it's in engine is even better (and the best way to figure that kind of debugging is really from trying, failing, iterating!)

Beyond just reaching out to people, find animators you like in the industry and see if they're involved in any mentorship programs, are giving any talks, maybe already have some talks online (old GDC talks end up on YouTube sometimes), or even have guides on how they got their start in the industry. It's definitely not a clear cut journey for anyone into gaming, so there's no one-size-fits-all, but it can give you a gauge for how others in your position got there!

PHEW, I think that's it! I hope some of this is helpful, feel free to like, ask for clarification as I know I can ramble, and thank you again for asking! You rock and hope your day is excellent :D

[popcornforone]

MARCH

From the Marcus Pike Fan Fic Diary

Masterlist

February

How are we already in March? Must be time for another diary entry from our writer about her exploits with Marcus.

Synopsis:- Marcus is working away on a case & you just want to chat to him on a Saturday night.

Word count:-1900

Warnings:- DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Phone sex,masturbating, innuendo, talk of piv & oral, sexual video, swearing, drinking, pining. remember this is a diary so from the readers point of view.

Thanks as always for the read peoples. All feedback is always welcome. I hope you enjoy.

I hate it when Marcus is away. It not that I don’t like doing my own thing, but I miss the cuddles. I love that I can watch what I want, can eat what I like at a time that’s good for me & not have to worry if he’s going to randomly message going he needs dinner, or planning something & then him last minute saying actually. But I miss his little smile. I miss little suggestive winks. I miss the way he makes me cum. I miss the taste of him spilling down my throat. I just am missing him so bad.

I know it’s only 10 days & it’s important for his job & career but it’s just a huge hole in the bed next to me. I can starfish all I want, but I’d much prefer to be sinking into the mattress with my feet on his shoulders as he asks me if I can take more. Don’t tell Marcus this, I mean you’re a diary so you won’t, but I use his pillow to sleep on when he’s not here. I always make sure the bedding is fresh for when he is back but no I want to smell my man. I have needs & his scent helps me with some of them.

It’s not like we don’t see each other though. We face time & text & send photos to each other, but he’s often tired & a little grumpy. Works stressful when he’s home let alone working on something else where.

I knew he had Sunday off last week so I asked him to have a chill Saturday night & get ready for a phone call. I wanted his soothing voice to send me asleep. But I also wanted to see if he was up for something.

First call he doesn’t answer at 10pm. Maybe he had already fallen asleep. But the second call he answers.

“Hey sorry was in the middle of cleaning my teeth baby”

“I hope you didn’t swallow”

“No swallowing toothpaste isn’t that good for you” I am glad it’s not face time. I rolled my eyes. I wanted to see if things could get spicy. But clearly he was being practical. Yep that was my man there, not taking a hint unless it’s bleeding obvious to him.

“How was today?”

“Good, we think we might be on the red eye on Tuesday if we’re lucky. Latest is still Thursday night which is meant to happen” I can hear a tap turn off in the back ground & the bathroom light button click. I know he’s got ready for bed. I am already in bed. I need to clean my own teeth once the call is over but it won’t take me long. I’ve got a glass of wine on the bed side table which I’m sipping. I’m also in just my dressing gown, & I know I have something to pleasure myself with after hearing my man’s delicious voice.

“What about you beautiful, what did you do today?”

“Saw my mum took her shopping, she wanted a new handbag, she treated me to lunch & then I decided to start sorting out junk in the study”

“junk?”

“Yes junk” I giggle”you know all the stuff we said we’d sort out when we moved i together nearly 18 months ago that we didn’t need or were duplicates”

“Please tell…”

“Don’t worry don’t worry” I hear the panic in his voice “I didn’t touch the comics or anything that wasn’t mine, that’s still for you to sort”

“Oooh thank god…” I hear a sigh of relief down the phone & hear him sit on the bed “because”

We then say in unison “some of those comics are limited print”

“I know Marcus I know, you need to have them valued for insurance purposes” we talk about this every now & then. I have a couple of original art pieces that I got insured last year, after they had just sat in a corner & told Marcus he could do his comics & collectibles at the same time but he said he’d need to go to a specialist. He’s never been.

“So what are you going to do on your day off?” I ask as I sip more wine.

“I want to go to that new art exhibition that’s here…” Marcus has always loved weird art & he knows I appreciate it but not to his tastes it’s a bit to gloomy what he likes, not what you should put up in the house, not that we could even afford it. I let him talk about a few other things too.

“Well on Sunday im going to write in my journal & then I’m going to get on with building those Lego flowers you got me for Christmas, I can’t kill them can I” he giggles down the phone at me.

“Oooh no you can’t murder those. Thank god. I recon you could try tho”

“Would you have to investigate & come home if I did?”

“100%”

“Then I’ll go commit some crime” we both laugh & then sigh. The silence between us on the phone for a few seconds is just perfect. Hearing him breathe is a joy.

“Marcus…”

“Yes baby” I smirk as his voice seems deeper for some reason. I’m going to try something.

“What are you wearing?” I lick my lips as I say it.

“My jammies… you know the blue & black striped ones…I’ve also…” he then goes on to talk about if it’s okay to wear socks in bed or not as his feet feel cold. I’m a little bit gutted. I know he takes things literally but I wanted more or maybe something sexy. Also Marcus only wear his Jammies when he’s away incase he’s woken up at 3am to go look at something. He’s shy at times & doesn’t want any work colleagues to walk in on him hanging out, or with his naked arse in the air. What a peach they would see. I sigh a little which he picks up on.

“Was that the wrong answer?”

“No I just… I wanted something more adventurous.” I’m always honest with Marcus.

“Okay so then what are you wearing baby”

“Well…”I then untie my robe “say the words baby & I’ll start to moan for your listening pleasure”

“Why are you hurt?”

“Marcus!”

“What”

“Is your line tapped?”

“No”

“Well I’m just taking my robe off & am going to enjoy myself in bed” I slip the robe off. “Imagine if we were face timing baby” I whisper “you wouldn’t be seeing my face”

“Well erm…” I can tell he’s flustered & trying to work out how to say some spicy stuff. “Ermmmm… I”

“It really is a good thing we aren’t looking at each other” I smile trying to reassure him that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to.

“No I… I’m just having a moment” the phone line falls silent for a second before Marcus speaks. “Does the bed still smell of me”

“Yea baby”

“Then sleep on that side when you have fun later, I want my side to be a little damp” he’s getting into it even if shyly.

“Do you think of me?”

“Yes baby” he’s dropped his voice it’s getting sexier.

“In the shower?”

“Why do you think I’m always so clean when I come back from a job?”

“It’s not as good as me though…”

“Oooh fuck no!” Is his abrupt response “I might moan & fist harder but it’s not like your bending over in the shower is it”

“I always like to wash your chest, lather you up, caress those broad shoulders…”

“& then drop to your knees like the naughty little slut you are”

“I…” I was not expecting Marcus to get into this so quickly. All it had taken was a few back & forth & he was now calling me a slut down the phone. “Do you like me on my knees?”

“I like you in any position, begging for me”

“The way you face fuck me…”

“…oooh when I can’t tell if it’s spit or my cum or shower water…”

“Getting clean is always such a dirty task”

“Oooh baby” I hear him moan.

“Yes baby, my fingers in my cunt, my lips at your base, in your pubes, steam building up in a hot shower, you gripping my chin thrusting away”

“Down your throat, good thing you had your tonsils taken out, they’d be so swollen” as this conversation goes on, I’ve starting pleasuring my clit, I’ve not used my vibrator yet I think I will need that when the call ends.

“Marcus, tell me I’m a good girl”

“No…” he’s panting”you so naughty, good girls wouldn’t be masturbating on the phone”

“& what does that make you…?” I gasp, arousal is seeping.

“A very bad boy, a bad boy who wants to get on the next flight & wishing his penis was satisfying you instead.”

We moan down the phone at each other getting off to each others seduction.

“I need your mouth”

“So do I”

“69?”

“Oooh baby i’ll get on a plane to you”

“Naked?”

“If it meant quicker pleasure yes”

Eventually we both finish out sexual discussion. For a man who was shy to start with Marcus got into it. He screamed my name as he obviously climaxed & spilled into his hand.

“I think I need a shower” he says breathily “I’ve made a right mess”

“Hmmm” I reply back, I’m contemplating do I clean my teeth now or do I hang up & use the vibrator. “I’m so glad you got into that Marcus”

“I am too, we should try that again sometime”

“Maybe next time we do face time in”

“& me see your pussy gushing without me being able to taste it?” He scoffs “that’s not playing fair.”

“Well finish this case quickly & you can come home for all the shower sex in the world.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that sexy” I know the face he’s pulling even without seeing it it’s a soft but sexy smirk.

“I’m gonna go clean my teeth & actually go to bed now Marcus” I say “thank you for everything baby”

“For once I’m gonna ask you to spit not swallow, it’s not my cum that will be foaming at your lips” I gasp. Marcus finally got my line from earlier.

“I only swallow what’s good for me”

“Oooh you’re so good being bad”

“Night Marcus I love you”

“Not as much as I love you”

Yea that was a fabulous time on the phone to my Marcus. Someone so shy then got so into being so naughty. & I think I unlocked a sexual beast, because once my teeth were clean there was a text on my phone. An encrypted video. With a message underneath.

“Because your vibrator won’t be enough” & the video in question was Marcus handling his throbbing penis, angry & wanting to be buried somewhere soft & warm. It gets me off on both Saturday night & Sunday morning.

April

[moonjxsung]

Hello, I know you’re probably getting a lot of messages and I don’t want to add to your stress so please feel free to delete.

I really just wanted to check on you and see if you’re okay? It’s okay if you’re not. I’d say it’s pretty understandable right now if you’re not feeling okay. This sucks and it’s terrible, but it’s important to process your feelings rather than holding it in when you feel ready. And I hope you already know this, but in case you need the reminder, what that man did to you was not your fault. If you need to talk about what happened, please reach out to your friends and family (or whoever makes you feel safe) and if you think it’s needed, therapy can be really helpful with processing assault and giving you the tools to help move forward. I used to be really scared of talking and especially to a therapist, but sometimes a stranger is weirdly helpful. Okay, sorry I’m rambling…

I think what I’m trying to get at is it’s really easy for something like this to stamp out your beautiful light, but don’t let it. It’s easier said than done, I know. But try not to let that horrible man take away your sense of self and safety.

Sending you so much love and energy to continue to fuel your light 💕 always here if you need to talk.

xx

Hi angel, thank you so so much for this kind message, I’m genuinely read it several times now and it’s brought me so much comfort especially because I’m super sick today, I really needed to hear all this 🥹🫶

Truth be told I’m doing just okay, I feel like it’s still replaying in my mind since a week ago when it happened and I’m already being expected to move on from it in my real life, but then there’s the contrast of so many lovely people like yourself who allow me to be sad about it and I just wish it was like that in my day to day life, too. I think it feels like a very specific point of “before the incident” and “after the incident”, where unlucky things seem to be piling on top of each other in my everyday life since it happened. It almost feels like I’ve opened some portal to a slew of unlucky things happening and that was just the cherry on top of it all- I lost one of my cats, I was assaulted, I’m getting my work stolen on other platforms, my parents are dealing with some personal stuff, my sister lost her job, my health is deteriorating… I keep asking myself why I feel like I’ve experienced one whole year of misfortune in the month of January alone, and I know things can always be worse, but I’m not mentally prepared to deal with any more of it. I’m just tired and I wish people in my real life would take things a little easier on me.

Luckily I have a great support system within my family and I’m doing my best to keep reaching out to them and talking about it so I don’t bottle anything up. I’ve also spoken about possibly returning to therapy just to have an outlet to get things off my chest. But overall I’m mostly just grateful for you guys on here, it’s overwhelmingly gratifying to have such a great support system and be able to share things with you all, and receive such lovely messages like this one. I will always lean on you guys the same way this blog is a safe space for you and I never take any of this for granted. I think January’s pretty much settled, but in February I want to make good things come to fruition and just be more positive and I promise to share what I come up with from this pain. Sending you all my love as always and I hope you’re doing just as amazing. You can always talk to me as well and I hope you know this is always a safe space for you. ❤️🫶👼⭐️

[guppygiggles]

hello ! (sorry if this sent twice! Tumblr glitched!)

Thank you for replying to my asks at all- I appreciate any form of contact in reply!

If I maybe said or expressed anything that was off putting about things in expressing ideas about Avery & all- Im so sorry!! I may be overthinking or misreading things (a good part bc im still burnout and a bit stressed probably😅) but wanna make

sure you know that if anything did come across like that- you know im being sincere and listening to you!!

That's all super interesting about the world Avery came from and the life forms it may/may not have!!

The little creature is adorable and anything you create from these ocs are super interesting to hear about! I love hearing about the new characters and info you post! So thank you for telling me more so l can also understand more! It's nice to learn! ...and maybe learn how to send more affective teases to see if they'd fluster a certain Cloud or better yet...a Casp-Lee, if you will- {sorry for the silly play on words lol} ehehe)

I hope you are doing okay though!! I keep contemplating making a blog to talk more as me/my OC & actually DM’ing you directly!! but I worry I would be bugging you and the whole little tickly tumblr community a bit! But I hope you’re having a good day and getting some more down time since it seems like you’ve been working so hard/ busy!! Lots of good vibes and silly teases sent your way~✨

-Firefly Lee 🎇

No no, don't apologize! 💙 Nothing wrong with your ask at all, I just can't help infodumping about Avery and his world... haha. //// I'm so glad you liked the little critter, though!

Geee! //// Trust me, your teases are... plenty effective on me. 😵‍💫 If there's anything you DON'T need to apologize for when it comes to me, it's a play on words... 💙

WAAAAAA!!! 💙

Not forced, obviously, but I'd be thrilled to interact with you and chat if you wanted to!! You wouldn't be a bother to me at all!! I obviously can't speak for the whole community, but I personally say the more the merrier when it comes to people expressing themselves through art or writing! I'd love to have you, I'm sure we all would!

Yes, I am still very busy, sadly! 😵‍💫

I actually decided to stop doing tickletober for that reason... I probably should've made a formal announcement, but I guess this is as good a time as any. I had so much fun with it, but the main thing I really wanted to challenge myself to do was complete a sketch every day... and then I realized that even before tickletober, I was pretty much already doing that, haha. I don't see that stopping any time soon, either... I still have more ideas than I can even draw, especially now that Damon is here, and I'm getting ready to bring in another OC soon! I wish I had time to draw my lore stuff and do tickletober, but unfortunately I don't have time for both.

Anyway:

Thank you so much for this ask, happy Monday, I hope you had a great weekend, and feel free to message me any time!! 💙

[sugar-sweet-tea]

Two posts in one day?! Wow I’m so generous lol. I’m kidding this was definitely long overdo.

🔥Hazbin Hotel🔥

One of my favourite fandoms.

And incase you couldn’t tell.. I really like agere content. So! I finally mustered up some courage to publish this fic. Again, it was originally on AO3 but I’m not gonna deprive you guys of this. I hope you like it! And I feel like I’m one of the only people who don’t actually hate this character.. and actually kinda like him a lot and imagining him and writing him as a little. I don’t condone anything that he’s done and yeah he’s an asshole but he’s also small right now lol.

Baby Jail lol

This fic is also inspired by the amazing art of @leila54yks3 so definitely go check them out and their art because it’s honestly 100/10.

They make amazing agere content, especially Hazbin Hotel and one of their art pieces is what this fic is written off of. Try to see if you can find it on their page.

And yes I did get permission :)

And please feel free to talk to me about this kind of stuff (agere Hazbin Hotel) if you want, I love to talk and to listen!

And go check it out on AO3 too if you like my writing :)

Without much further ado! Fanfiction :)

It was 12:03.

Angel was late.

The good thing was that he knew he was already late and ran as fast as he could. The bad news was that he knew Valentino would not care for his excuses and punish him just the same.

Nevertheless, that didn't make having to get to work any less stressful. He'd rather waste 5 minutes of his time instead of 10 or 15.

Angel had gotten caught up with talking with his friends at the hotel. And when he finally noticed the time, his heart sank. He had to quickly rush to get ready before essentially bolting out the door.

By the time he actually got to the studio, it was thankfully only 12:10.

He hurriedly entered the building before finding it strangely quiet and not busy. Angel looked around a bit confused as to why he wasn't being yelled at for being late.

That's when he noticed what was missing. Everyone was just waiting around and talking to each other. It was strange to see them not yelling and just talking normally. Strangely enough, this only furthered Angel's assumption that something was wrong.

"Hey uh, any news in where Val is?" He asked one of his costars.

"No idea. He's been absent all day." One of them answered him.

Angel wasn't sure wether to be happy or nervous.

Happy that he might not have to deal with Valentino's wraith today. But anxious that he might have to make up for the time lost tomorrow.

He eyed Val's dressing room.

He wanted to go in there. Just to see if he was in there. As far as he could remember, this has never happened. He's never just randomly canceled the shoot without saying anything or having Vox spread out a message.

He couldn't stop the thoughts that plagued his mind surrounding what might be happening. And despite his better judgement, he started making his way to the door anyway.

Gulping nervously, he gently put his hand on the door knob. Thankfully no one really payed attention to Angel as he slowly and gently opened the door.

The room was relatively dark, strangely uncharacteristic from the moth that loved the light.

“V-val?” Angel’s voice echoed around the room. That’s when he noticed the faint sound of what sounded like.. whining?

Whining and.. crying.

But somehow, it didn’t sound like any adult Angel has ever heard cry. No. This sounded a lot more.. childlike. Almost like a baby.

“What the fuck? What’s a baby doing in hell?!” Angel exclaimed surprised. He quickly started to use his hands to look around the room for the source of the noise.

Then finally in one corner of the room where sat a pile of clothes, sat a little baby moth.

Said moth that had little baby wings that looked like they wouldn’t even be able to carry him. With little droopy antennas and a tear streaked face.

The little moth whined while making grabby hands towards the spider.

“Holy shit!” Angel yelled, jumping back from surprise at the little moth. Unfortunately this only caused the moth to cry even harder. Big, fat tears rolled it’s way down his little cheeks.

“Waaaaaaaaaaa!” Val cried even harder.

Angel, panicked and still quite unsure what to do.

Sighing and figuring that there wasn’t much he could do right now, he decided to pick up the moth.

“Shhh shhhh it’s ok. I’m sorry I scared y’a.” Angel gently rocked the little moth side to side to calm him down.

“Shh calm down bud it’s ok shh shh” he kept shushing him till the moth was reduced to small whimpers again.

“Now to see what happened…” Angel thought to himself.

Angel looked around the room before spotting a mysterious bottle on the floor that had a baby pacifier on it.

“Baby potion?” He read outloud.

“Ah.. potion baby” he said holding up Val.

The little moth couldn’t help but giggle.

“What am I gonna do now?” Angel thought out loud.

He wasn’t sure what to do with the baby moth demon in his arms.

How long would Val stay like this?

What would happen to him with his contract?

Oh Satan..

What would happen if the other Vee’s found out?

Angel sighed before looking at Val. The baby moth was playing with the fluff on his chest.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad.. and you’re kinda cute like this.” Angel gently booped Val’s little face causing the baby to break out into giggles.

Angel smiled.

[elvisabutler]

so i originally was thinking to myself "conceal don't feel" about my feelings about this year and basically gushing about all of y'all but everyone has been doing it and look, look, i'm trying to be better about not coming off as an aloof person when i'm really the sort of person who thrives on at least little tiny hellos from people who i know like me. despite being as old as i am i'm secretly always that shy 12 year old who has her people and wants more people but sucks at talking, alright?

anyway! none of that is the point. the point is that i haven't been in fandom for about 5ish at least years? like don't get me wrong, read fic, watched shows but me writing fics and interacting? good heavens no. and i think the last time i wrote fic was 2011 ( ironically also an rpf-ish fandom, there's something to be said about that maybe ) and so when i went into elvis i wasn't expecting much. but then i watched it and like- i had been a causal fan of elvis before- my parents were both born in the 50s so they're just about that interesting age to where my mom wished she could have been elvis's girl ( her older sisters too so clearly it's genetically a thing on my mom's side haha ) and my dad thought he was cool. point being i always knew of him and he was some at least tiny part of my life and that's part of the reason i wanted to go see the film. plus i honestly wanted to se ehow plastic looking they made austin look because baby those posters did him no justice.

and then i fell head over heels. watched it 5? times in theaters maybe 6, once with my mom who fell head over heels for austin butler which was not something i had on my 2022 bingo card and yet! and realized that oh heavens the fandom was mostly on tumblr let's boot up the old account and make a side blog and write a fix it fic ( that i am trash and still haven't finished ) and then @floralcyanide made their discord and eventually let me join and the rest was history?

not going into a lot of detail but i really cannot overstate how much this fandom and how genuinely sweet it is came to me at the right time. i've been missing having a solid and consistent creative outlet since i got married but especially since i had my daughter. and then in comes the elvis movie and austin butler and elvis in general and lord help me it's been a whirlwind. filled with stuff i'd never write and just a lot of fun times.

i wanna say thank you to all my favorite people who i either read your stuff or you read mine or i drool over your gif work or something else seeing y'all in my notifs always brightens my day just a little.

@superbatson @powerofelvis @headfullofpresley @venus-haze @cryingabtab @infatuatedharleys @areacodefan @star-shard @purejasmine @burninlovebutlerr @pearlparty @troubleinapinksuit @imperialmarchingthroughthegalaxy @karamelcoveredolicity @foreverdolly @powerofelvis @fantuhsise @flwrs4aust @she-is-juniper @elvisstyles @butlerstyles @missmaywemeetagain @bisexualwvtson @carnevol @mamaspresley @sassy-ahsoka-tano @butler-on-beale-street @dreamersparacosm @lindszeppelin @pennyroyalcreep, @slowsweetlove @blainesebastian and @ anyone else who regularly likes my stuff or engages with me i see y'all and i adore y'all. if i missed y'all don't take it personally i'm so tired today it's a wonder i remembered my own name.

and to my queens of graceland @aconflagrationofmyown @ab4eva and @butlersxbirdy y'all already know my love and to my other daily my life would not complete if i didn't say hello to y'all @blurredcolour, @eliseinmemphis and @bcofl0ve i love you guys. and @succsessions don't think i'll ever forget that one time you messaged me out of the blue when i was so stressed and wrote Some Tags ( tm ).

i'm gonna make it my mission to get to know some of y'all more in 2023 because truly i love this fandom so much and if it wasn't for this creative outlet appearing out of thin air, i think i'd been in a bit of a rougher spot than i am today and really i wanna just talk and interact more. and i promise y'all i don't bite if you're scared to talk to me, i'm an actual puppy, ask anyone who talks to me for longer than two minutes.

but basically happy new year y'all hoping all of our 2023s are fantastic and i love everyone in this bar so much. does that meme date me, i feel like it does.

[morvantmortuary]

not a big deal in the long term but still frustrating health stuff underneath:

so I’ve been stuck at home all day with the worst outbreak of eczema I’ve ever had!

on my face!!

I’d only ever gotten it in very small amounts before, usually something that I could dab vaseline on for a couple days and it would fade, or maybe bigger patches on my thighs during the summer, but never on my face :’D I woke up this morning and my eyes were almost swollen shut from itching in my sleep, I guess. not to mention the skin cracking like glass at the corners of my mouth.

they say it’s caused by stress, which I kind of get bc I have my first meeting with my full committee on friday, and I’m already feeling behind, and we’re two weeks from the end of the semester and I only have a year left of funding

on top of this, as I did my research trying to figure out what I could do to alleviate the symptoms, eating for eczema and eating for adhd/autism are apparently super incompatible!! most of my safe/comfort foods are apparently eczema triggers, and most of the foods you’re supposed to eat for eczema are either things I’m allergic to or things that it’s hard to make consistent sensory-wise. all my usual things I depend on to keep myself hydrated/dopamine boosted/not stressed out are, if not off the table, at least likely to make things worse, which doesn’t help when I’m trying to lower any anxiety that might be keeping the itch cycle going. it kind of doesn’t help that a lot of the eczema spaces I’ve seen on social apps and stuff seem to me kind of regurgitating a lot of diet culture/neurotypical assumptions in some of their rhetoric, which. does not contribute to me being able to relax if this is something I suddenly have to deal with to some degree long-term.

I was lucky enough to get a telehealth appointment with my doctor tomorrow, so hopefully she’ll give me something to take that can alleviate THE ITCHING my symptoms and make it so I feel a bit less like blotchy pink nosferatu. but it’s one of those things where I’m having to try really hard not to get more stressed when I was already lowkey constantly anxious about my work not going at the pace I wanted it to, with this check-in meeting at the end of the week with my whole committee that I haven’t seen in months, and now a whole lot of the things I’ve incorporated into my routine are suddenly something that might exacerbate my discomfort. which sucks!!

and for some reason I have cramps, which is also not helping!!

I’m lucky my bosses are understanding and letting me work remote right now, and I’m trying to ignore the overwhelming urge to take my cat and go stay with my folks for the last two weeks of the semester just so I can have some of the day to day stuff taken off my plate. but I don’t want to test my bosses’ patience that much, and that’s not an instinct I can sustain long term (at least probably not wherever I work next, which uhhhh may also be contributing to my constant anxiety humming in the background ngl.)

I have like three people I’ve been meaning to answer/message back, I’ve read everything and I promise I’m not ignoring anyone!! it’s just a little rough over here rn, like physically

oough what I wouldn’t give to see the hearse or the mustang outside my apartment rn. I just. would really like a break!! :’D

[nickhembery]

2023 wrapped

Let's try to sum up the year.

First, the TLDR: a long, drawn out groan of "fuck".

Second, what actually happened.

Remember that blog from a while back where I had six goals and if I did them all then I'd customise my mechanical keyboard? That didn't really work out. The treadmill I bought was a bit of a lemon and had to be sent back. It was one of those machines that's not really built to be used, it's designed to sit in a corner and have the owner look at it and say "I should use that sometime", but they never do. It's documentation all pointed to it breaking down pretty quickly with the amount of use I'd put it through. Not in the documentation was that it switched itself off after 40 minutes without warning. Based on that, I sent it back and got a refund, minus the shipping cost because the refund label I was given wasn't enough for the damn thing's weight. Oh well.

The writing didn't go so well either. Stress ground that to a halt. Two things happened to spread that over the year.

First, I got solar panels installed on my roof. That's a good thing. They're cool and they've cut my energy bill down a lot. But to put the panels in I needed scaffolding in place. It couldn't be put up and put down on the day of installation because a) different companies handled the panels and the scaffolding, and b) in case something went wrong. In my case something minor did go wrong. One of the installers got lazy and instead of securing the main power cable to my outside wall, he zip tied it to guttering downpipe. As I explained on the phone when I complained, this makes a mess of liabilities if I ever need work done on that pipe. Fortunately, a couple of guys came out to fix the cable problem. But no one came to pick up the scaffolding... for three months.

Remember I mentioned that different companies handled the panels and the scaffolding? Well, I could only talk to the panel company as they hired the scaffolding company. It took a lot of phone calls, emails and Official Complaints to find out what happened. The scaffolding company ran into financial trouble and didn't tell anyone for a while. To keep the money coming in they kept installing scaffolding in properties and didn't bother collecting any. They had scaffolding to spare and knew that no one would dare/be able to take down the stuff left behind. Eventually, once the panel company found out what was happening they got the scaffolding company to start coming out and collecting again.

The reason this was a big problem was the scaffolding shut off access to a few things. Two of my windows, and my neighbour's garage. It's a bit of a pain trying to explain all the problems with the scaffolding company hired by the panel company over a text message. But... one day they finally showed and took it away. Stress over. Except.

Except, that day, the very same day, there's an all-hands meeting with work. Everyone tunes into the conference call to hear the news. The company's in trouble. Layoffs in the US office, redundancies in the UK office. The layoffs had already happened by the time of the meeting, the redundancies would be announced after call. When the call ended, I decided to give it ten minutes before declaring myself safe. I got the notification at about the seven minute mark. It was, indeed, fuck.

So, in the US they did layoffs. You're called in, you're told, you leave. No argument, no appeal. In the UK we do redundancies. That's a process about a month long where people are 'at risk' of redundancy and no one is officially fired until the end. For some, there are groups who have the same or similar titles, and the high ups have to decide who in the group to get rid of. For others, like me, you're a one of one, and you'll be gone, unless you can convince them to keep you on. This isn't even the shitty 'interview for the job you're already doing', it's argue that your job should even exist. In my case, the documentation about the redundancy said the plan was that my duties as proofreader would be split up between the writers. Mood: Pickard face palm.

So, got that news. That night I ordered a big box of grease in the form of a pizza for dinner and ate it all while feeling sad. The next day, I got to work. The amount of people at risk of redundancy in the company was so big that there were too many for the HR people to speak to, so we were split into sub-groups based on departments, and those groups would need reperesentatives to come to meetings with HR and then dissiminate the information back to their group. I volunteered to be a rep at is a) meant I was getting all of the information and b) meant I could channel all of anxiety about the process into being a control freak. I made spreadsheets, I kept masses of notes, I wrote up every single meeting. Half the questions I asked in the meetings I had come up with rather than people in my group.

About a quarter way through the redundancy process time frame, I got a meeting with HR to make my pitch. It was really pretty simple: You Need Me. The writers make mistakes, in grammar, in spelling, in simple facts. They don't have the time to research things properly so just it wrong sometimes, and asking another writer to check it won't work out because they won't have the time either. But, I needed some carrot with the stick so offered a solution. My utilisation was down, so I could go on part time hours for a while until things pick up again. They were receptive in the meeting, and asked for a written pitch. I wrote it, read it over, edited it, read it again, then sent it. They accepted. My job was saved, well half saved.

It was a good thing too, as my backup plan feel through. Just before the redundancy process had started, I interviewed at a science journal to do proofreading there. Say what you will about the business model of journals (it's all a bit predatory), but it would have been a big step up from marketing. It was really nice to be taken seriously as a contender for the role, but in the end they decided to go with someone who had basically done the same job at another journal before.

Back to the job stress. I had a half a job. Better than zero job, but still. Finances were tight. I had just enough to pay my bills each month, but that was it. I was not going on holiday or even replacing that crappy treadmill. I got very lucky with the situation. If I hadn't gotten the raise in January the cut to my pay wouldn't have been viable at all. I didn't mention the raise. Man, this is all over the shot, isn't it? Short version: company introduced system to get promotions for most roles, left me (and some other unique jobs) out. So I wrote my own job description for the promotion system in specific way so that they would have to promote me. I gave them plenty of chances to stop me. And the promotion went through in January with a nice raise. And then in May that raised pay was cut in half.

Being on part time isn't all it's cracked up to me. What do you do with all that spare time? Well, you stress out that the rest of the job will be taken away from you, that's what. I played a lot of video games, watched most of the MCU and watched most of Star Wars. The only thing from the MCU I haven't seen is Ms Marvel, I watched every other movie and show. I watched all of Star Wars except the Resistance show set around Episode 7. Only people who have seen all seven seasons of Clone Wars, all four seasons of Rebels, The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett understand what's going in Ahsoka. It's like a soap twenty years long and suddenly plot threads from the entire run are all coming together.

Amongst all the TV watching, I gardened my garden. When I bought my house, there was decking in the back garden. But I quickly discovered that the decking was no good, it was rotting. Far too gone to Ship of Theseus it, I tore it all out, dug out the posts, lifted the gravel that was underneath the decking, lifted the second layer of gravel that was under the first, broke up some random paving stones that were in the corner, and cleared the whole area down to the mud. That took months of work. I filled my car three times with wood for disposing of and filled a four-tonne skip with the gravel and rocks. After the garden was clear, I got fresh gravel and membrane and covered it all over.

When November came around, I did NaNoWriMo again. I wasn't aiming for the full 50k though. It had been months since I'd tried writing and really I didn't have enough story to need that many words. So I went for writing every day. Late in the month I got sick, my first cold in four years. That knocked me pretty hard, so there was one day where I only managed 98 words. But I did manage to write every day, and a couple days into December I finished the first draft of the book I've been working on since 2019. It's gotten away from me a bit, it's 322,000 words long. I may try to cut it down to one big epic novel, or I may keep the length but split it out into a series of novellas. We'll see how editing goes.

That brings us to about now. Christmas is soon, and for the first time we're skipping presents. I'm actually relieved, I had no idea what to get anyone. Last day of work is tomorrow, then it's Christmas break.

This year has been stressfull. I'm seeing more grey hairs in the mirror than before. But it could have been a lot worse.

2024 is actually looking up. Going to do an editing pass of the mammoth novel, got a plan to do it in 100 days. Through a confluence of events, including metaphorically finding bodies stuffed in a cupboard, I'm going to be back at full time at work, so money will be okay again. I've got a plan to keep myself organised for the year, it involves a whiteboard and a physical diary. I'll do another blog later to explain that.

[real-sun-wukong-fan01]

Gotta confess that u talking about de xreader thing made me sad.

I know that each person do whatever they want, so u can hate self indulgent things if u want, and I can read those stuff if I want too, no one can stop both of us.

But there's some really nice stories/arts that people treats like //garbage// for being canonxreader, instead of canonxcanon or ocxcanon (acting like many those oc's weren't self inserts too??? but like "secret" self insert to not be judged). There's some genuine fun stuff, but every single work like these are just "cringe" to people, and people go far to the point of saying it directly to whoever is producing those things to shame them and their public (I literally saw authors turning off the anon option for this).

Some people (actually lots of people) who find comfort in those kind of fic (I mean, if u feel like trash everyday it's nice to daydream with the idea of being appreciatted by your fav character) gets ashamed for liking these things. So we hide it from close friends, just to get reminded by strangers online that we're ridiculous, so we have to keep hiding it from friends cause we don't want them to laugh at our comfort thing.

Like literally, isn't just romance in this "genre", there's some platonic things that I saw solitary people writing when in need of a friend, some fatherly character for people with dad issues. List goes on. Of course that romantic fics are the most famous one, but isn't like this doesn't happen in "normal" fic too!

The "isekai" anime genre isn't famous in Japan for nothing, it's literally escapism, real life people escaping from reality by projecting themselfs on characters.

ASMR channels with roleplay are famous for a reason! (like better sleep I know) It's many content with a story focused on YOU.

God, even simply roleplaying like in rpg it's having fun living another life.

It's more a vent message than enything else (I know that u hate romance in general, specially with your hc of aroace Wukong), but yeah, I think it's sad for me and other people when we're doing our thing in search for comfort, and then suddenly having a bunch of people laughing and shaming us in our own space.

I wasn't going to send u this, but I know that ur voice has actual power in this fandom, because it was after u creating this blog that Aroace Wukong got actually popular (even with many jttw fans already saying that he seems to be super uninterested in romance and sex before)

Sorry that this was so long. It's really a vent thing here.

Ok maybe it's because it's late that i don't understand if it's directed at me or not, but! You're right! everyone has their own opinion on things, and if someone likes canonxreader or anything similar (that is not proshipping), they are free to do so.

I, personally, do not like it, never liked much self inserts like reader or ocs in canon, but it's my personal opinion, you can always see me talk and enjoy my moots talk about their lmk oc that interact with canon.

On AO3 specifically, i always use the filter to avoid all the things i don't want (usually it's shadowpeach, x reader and Tripitaka x wukong), but i never complain since i can't expect people to stop doing something they like or find comfort in.

sometimes i do get stressed about it because it's really HARD to find something that isn't that, something even remotely similar to canon it's hard to find or something like sun wukong centric (or maybe it's me who sucks at finding it), but it's the heat of the moment, it's me who normally changes emotions by the smallest things, especially anger, but i have never wished that those things to get taken off. Yes it would be more comfortable for me, but not for others.

those people who complain about it just don't understand really, they are just self centric most of the time. (MOST of the time.)

i advice to everyone to just use the filter or scroll when something appears and you don't like it, please. It makes people's day easier.

just try to look less and less for an argument, really. When it's about THESE types of thing, that i wish people would ignore them more than anything, block even, that's a great option.

not mean to invalidate your vent with my talking and talking about myself! just wanted to explain why i said "what the fuck" to the sun wukong x reader !! since i think it's why you sent me this, or not. Again it's late and i have my period I'm kinda on the verge of going insane

But! You're completely right.

[timeoverload]

I had a good day for the most part. Yesterday I felt like I couldn't catch a break so it was nice that it wasn't as busy for me today. I was able to get caught up this morning and I even had time to get a burrito for breakfast. Normally I have less than 10 minutes to run to the cafeteria in the morning and I don't get to enjoy my food because I have to inhale it.

I only had 1 bad thing happen at work. I found out who was trying to call me last week. Of course it was a debt collector and I had to tell them not to contact me there. I am pretty stressed about my financial situation but it's my fault for being unable to keep on top of stuff. I have been irresponsible. I don't want to get in trouble again. I'm already working with a debt consolidation company as it is and I will probably have to call them at some point. It's very difficult for me to get anything done on the days I work because my brain is fried by the time I get home. It's usually too late to call anyone if I need to. I need to start asking to pay for things right away if I can when I have appointments so I don't get so overwhelmed later. I wish I didn't have so many medical bills to keep track of because that's the only thing I'm having problems with. At least my credit card is paid off and I haven't wanted to use it. I'm probably going to spend a lot of my weekend on the phone because I need to get shit figured out even though that's the last thing I am going to want to do. I should be able to pay a lot of my debt off but I'm not sure how much I will have left after that. I'm tired of feeling like I have people breathing down my neck and calling me all the time.

I have never felt so disorganized in my entire life. I went to leave for work this morning and I caused a mini avalanche in my room because I have so much stuff piled up. I wasn't even mad about it and I just laughed because it's so absurd. Sadly I have gotten used to not being able to walk in here and not being able to find anything. I haven't felt like doing anything about it now that I'm home. It probably will stay like that until the weekend because I don't have the energy to deal with it right now but I know it needs to be taken care of soon. My back has also been bothering me a lot today and I just want to sit because I have been on my feet all day. I wish I felt better too because that would make my life so much easier but I feel bad pretty much every day.

I also think I would feel better if I wasn't constantly worried about our relationship. I am not blaming anyone for my problems. It does affect me a lot though and I can't help it. I've realized that it's very difficult for me to focus on anything when I'm in love with someone. I know things will get better soon. I am trusting you. I'm not sure what I am supposed to do though. I don't know if I'm supposed to say something or not because it feels like you don't want me to. I am so confused and I wish I knew what I was doing. I'm so afraid I'm going to do something wrong and upset you. I don't want to lose you.

Thank you for sending me nice messages today. I appreciate it. They made me smile. 💖💖💖

I am very tired right now and I don't have much else to say. I will try not to worry about stuff anymore tonight. I need to get something to eat at some point and I have stuff I need to do before I go to bed. I hope I'm not up too late and that tomorrow is a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too!!! :)