#i almost yeeted myself when i saw him doing THAT face

[rjshope]

the things this Hoseok does to me [cr. namuspromised]

[unintentionaloracle]

Bleeding Heart [Fic]

Happy Halloween! Have a Jhea fic that has nothing to do with Halloween!

Description:

Rhea gets a visitor after getting attacked on NXT.

(Note: the brief bit of Sami slander hurt my heart to write ;_;)

“Rhea!” Jey shouted when he saw her at medical. He hurried to her side. She'd been cleaned up since officials found her, but he couldn't get her earlier bloodied state out of his mind. And she still looked so strangely fragile in the cot they had her in. A far cry from the confident Australian amazon who had his heart in a chokehold for almost two years.

Rhea opened her eyes and her attention turned to him. “Mmm...Jey?” She said, groggily, as Jey took her hand. “What are you doing here?”

“I was in town, baby. I was watching the show back at the hotel, and I saw what happened. So I rushed over. Oh, and Jimmy came, too. He's out in the hall. And Priest's on his way, too.” Jey explained, squeezing her hand.

“So you...came to see me?” she asked, apparently still processing that.

“Yeah, I didn't want you to be alone. What if they came back?” Jey said, squeezing her hand.

Rhea frowned. She started to sit up. “Then I handle them myself, like I've been–” She winced and yelped in pain, holding her shoulder. Jey gently rubbed her back before easing her back down.

“You were saying?” Jey said. “I know you can handle anything, but you shouldn't have to by yourself, Rhea.” He said, cupping her face.

Rhea frowned. “Don't you have your own stuff to deal with, Jey?”

Guilt stabbed Jey's heart like a knife. “I'm sorry about that. I was just trying to focus on the title like you said, give you your space to do your thing, then this crap with my family came up...” He sighed. “But what kind of man would I be if I saw my girl had gotten beaten bloody and didn't drop everything for her?”

For a moment, Rhea’s expression softened. “...I'm your girl?”

Jey’s eyes widened. “I–uh...Sorry, that slipped out. But I-I mean...” He took a deep breath and put his hands on his hips, pacing away. “I didn't want to do this here, because of this, but...I want you to be, ya know?” He went back to her side, sitting on the corner of the cot and holding her hand. “I've been down bad for you for like, ever. And I know nobody can own you, but...you've got me, heart and soul, you know? I-if you want! So, do you wanna be my–?”

Rhea grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him closer. “Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me that!?” She exclaimed before pulling him into a kiss, curling her fingers into his hair.

Jey pulled away. “So...that's a yes?” He said, voice cracking ever so slightly.

Rhea chuckled. “God, you're cute. Yes!”

Jey grinned. “Yeet.” He said, then grabbed her sides (delicately, due to the injuries), and continued to kiss her, kicking off his shoes as she invited him under the sheets to share her cot.

---

“So is Jey's little girlfriend gonna be a problem for us?”

Jimmy stared at Roman's text. Of course he had to let The OTC know what was happening! They never knew where Solo and the rest of the fake-ass Bloodline were gonna pop up and attack! It's why he came with Jey to medical in the first place. He took a deep breath and went to peek in on his twin again.

Please don't be banging, please don't be banging, please don't be banging...

Rhea and Jey were still just making out and generally being cuddly. It was all still PG. Jey even looked...actually happy, despite everything. He sighed with relief, then hid on the other side of the doorway again.

His phone dinged. Roman again:

“Well?”

Jimmy thought a moment. He knew the two of them weren't “official” before Jey dropped everything to come out here. Rhea had her own mess to deal with, and they couldn't afford Jey's attention getting split between The Bloodline AND the new, wack version of The Judgement Day.

Sure, Jimmy and Naomi could keep these things separate, only intervening with each other's business when they had to/the other asked for it. But they'd been married for a long time. Plenty of time to work that out. Jey, however? In a new relationship with a girl almost as impulsive as he could be?

But...Jey looked so happy. And he knew he'd taken a lot of Jey's happiness away this past year: costing him opportunities, not being there for him, dragging him back into the family drama...

...exposing his best friend as the no good lying traitor he always was...

Jimmy may not have been ready to apologize to Jey, but he was his little brother, at the end of the day. He had to look out for him...

“Nah, we're good, OTC.”

I can't hurt him again. Or take anything else from him.

Roman immediately responded:

“Good. And if we aren't, it's not on Jey. It's on *you*.”

Jimmy texted a quick “okay” before nearly collapsing against the wall in relief. He sighed.

“Don't say I never did anything for you, uce...”

[uceyliyahh]

UNDER YOUR TOUCH

Summary: After her difficult breakup, Tiana wanted to start anew with her life. That's when she realized her life would be better when she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 3897

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Tiana

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️

@paigereeder @empressdede @pinkwithhearts @biancasreign @highoffaries @jstarr86 @angiedawn02 @yana3sworld @zillasvilla @hunnidmilly @bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @xbriexx @fearlesschimera

XI.

JEY it was early in the morning as the weather was looking a bit rough today. I opened my eyes, rubbed them slightly, and saw Tiana sleeping peacefully on my chest.

I grabbed my phone that was on the bed next to me on the bed charging, scrolling through my notifications and noticing that Kehlani has texted me last night on some bull shit.

I'm tired of her harassing me and my girl. She was annoying. So, I blocked her again while continuing to scroll through my feed. As I was doing that, I felt Tiana shift in her sleep, seeing her eyes flare up, looking at me.

"Good morning mama." I said while playing with her hair.

"Morning, Papi," Tiana said in a raspy tone as she kissed me on the lips.

She got up from the bed as I put my hands behind my head, admiring her naked body. It was perfect, making me want to put a baby in that for real, though.

I could sense that she knew that I was admiring her as she turned around, "Josh, I know your eye fucking men right now, sir. Stop it." I chuckled at her while getting up and walking towards her.

"What? I can't admire my lady now?"

"Boy, I didn't say all of that move so that I can take a shower, " she said as I grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer to me.

"Joshhhhh," I planted kisses on her face as she continued to whine like a baby, making me pull away.

I smacked her on her ass as she walked away, disappearing into my bathroom. Meanwhile, I went to go lay back down in my bed, seeing that Bianca had texted Tiana.

Breezy sent 3+ messages

Breezy: Bestie you wanna go shopping today? Breezy: tell fat head ass Josh to bring you home so we can go Breezy: lmk girly

'Damn why the fuck I gotta have a fat ass head?'

I felt my phone vibrate as I read through the messages, and I saw that Jon had texted me about something.

Twin📌: Yo, Uce you tryna go hooping later on? Jey: Yeah, fasho I think Tiana got plans today with B Twin📌: ight, then how's is Tiana btw Trin wanted to know. Jey: she's fine well it seems to be that way I haven't ask Twin📌: Oh, ight you think her ex-boyfriend might show up again? because we know that his parents are going to get him off the hook. Jey: Probably so that's what B thinks Twin📌: aw ight then well I see you later Jey: Yeet.

I placed my phone on the bed, and seeing Tiana coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body was breathtaking.

"Mamas, B wanted to see if yall wanted to go shopping," I responded.

"Ohhh, I almost forgot about that gotta spoil myself you know," Tiana said as she was drying off her body.

I got up and went towards my hoodie, getting my wallet. I pulled out my black card and gave it to Tiana, and her face looked a bit perplexed.

"Baby? why are you giving me your card?" She questioned me.

"So you can spoil yourself when you go to the mall with B." She gave me back my card, and I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Baby, I can pay for it myself. You don't have to do all of that, papi." I gave her back my card, closing her hand in the process.

"Use it mama, you know I got'chu" she smiled at me as she kissed me on the lips before putting the card in her wallet.

"I promise I won't spend a lot."

I chuckled at her while nodding my head at her, she was adorable.

✧.* TIANA I was at the mall with Bianca doing some shopping. We haven't spent time together since I've been with Joshua, so I'm glad we could get together.

Her and I were in line getting something to eat after doing all of that shopping. Since Josh gave me his card, I promised him I wasn't going to spend a lot on it because he probably needed it.

After we got our food we sat down at the table chatting it up.

"Girl, you whooped her ass?" Bianca asked.

"Yeah, I did until Josh pulled me back. I wanted to do more damage because I'm tired of her ass." I said while rolling my eyes.

"Me too, girl. She's so annoying."

I agreed with her his ex-girlfriend was more delusional than Kai ass thinking that Josh would get back with her after what she did to him.

As we continued to eat our food, we heard some familiar voices coming from the other side of the food court. When Bianca and I turned our heads, we saw Kehlani and her friends walking and talking.

I guess they didn't see us so we didn't pay attention to them while continuing to eat our food.

"So Josh let you use his card for your shopping spree?" She began to say.

"Yeah, I didn't want him to give it to me at first but he insisted," I replied.

"Girl, that man loves you and would do anything for you." We heard chuckling as we saw Kehlani and her friends standing next to us.

Me and Bianca looked at each other and then back at them while giving them a stank face, "Girl, the fuck is funny?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just crazy how Jey is so in "love" with you, giving you his card. He used to do that for me," Kehlani said.

I just rolled my eyes at her while folding my arms in the process.

"Ion' really think he did. I believe that you're very much delusional, ma'am." I retorted.

I could tell by her facial expression she was upset at my smart remark but I didn't really care, and I really didn't have time to be playing games with a delusional ass girl.

I got up to throw away my food, including Bianca's food, while grabbing my purse and keys. Looking at the girls standing there, looking dumb, before we began to walk away, I felt her pull my hair, causing me to fall to the ground.

I've seen Bianca push her harshly on the ground as her friends tried to swing at her, which made me get up instantly, pulling one of the girl's hair and dragging her, banging her head on the table.

Everyone in the mall had their phones out, recording the whole thing as me and Bianca were whooping their asses, throwing them into shit, and seeing a little bit of blood coming out of one of them.

"yo' ass wanna keep harassing me and being messy, imma show ya something." I spat as I was punching Kehlani in her face, kicking her in the process, causing her to fall on the ground, holding onto her stomach.

That's when Bianca pulled me back from her, seeing all of them on the ground winching in pain I wasn't done I let go from her grasped while dragging Kehlani by her hair throwing her in the water fountain.

I grabbed my purse and keys while heading out the mall before the police came. I didn't have time for this shit.

✧.*

uceyjucey, trinity_fatu, zillafatu, and others like your post.

tianasworld: when he gives me his card so i can spoil myself. 🤭

uceyjucey: anything for you baby. 🤍 tianasworld: @ uceyjucey 🫶🏼 trinity_fatu: girrrrl that man loves you fr wish Jon do this for me. zillafatu: that's what happens when you have a good man. shehatekai: bro I did this for you tho...you trippin bro uceyjucey: @ shehatekai if you did she wouldn't be with me huh get outta her comments. jonathanfatu: @ trinity_fatu girl what is yo' ass talking about? why am I being dissed rn? 😭

Read all the comments.

Bianca and I finally made it home. I saw Jey's car in our driveway, which confused me because he didn't text or call me to say he was going to come over.

He stood next to his car, arms folded over his chest, looking at Bianca and I pull into the driveway as we got out of the car.

"Hey, baby, I didn't know you were comin' over?" I said as I gave him back his card.

"I mean, that's not why I'm over here, but yeah." He replied.

I raised my eyebrow at him a bit while folding my arms, "what are you talking about?"

He pulled out his phone showing me a video of me and Bianca beating up Kehlani and her friends at the mall earlier actually made me chuckle a bit I mean she did deserve it honestly got tired of her ass.

I looked up at him as he put his hands on his hips like a typical mom and gave me a stern look like one, too.

"Baby? Whatever happened to our talk last time?"

"Bubba she started it first okay I had too, I'm tired of her ass." I said pouting.

Jey chuckled at me, seeing me pout like a little baby. Then he grabbed me by the waist, making me wrap my arms around his neck.

We kissed a few times on the lips causing him to squeeze my ass as Bianca cleared her throat, making us stop.

"I don't wanna see that in front me y'all like c'mon." Bianca said.

Jey and I chuckled a bit as we walked inside the house together, and he grabbed my bags for me like a gentleman.

I made sure I locked my car before going in. As we all went in, Jey and I went upstairs towards my bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

He scooped me up by my thighs, walking towards my bed, sitting on it as I straddled him. We looked into each other's eyes, smiling.

"You're so pretty mama." Jey compliments me.

"Why, thank you, Bubba. You're very fine yourself," I replied while playing with his mullet.

'He's honestly perfect for me.'

'He got everything that Kai didn't have.'

"Also, I have something to tell you. I meant to tell you, but it slipped my mind," I continued.

"What's up mama?"

"Well, before I came to spend the night, Kai's mom called me, but I didn't answer. She left a voice message saying she wanted me to release the restraining order on Kai." I could tell that his facial expression had changed.

I mean I couldn't blame him because I wasn't going to be releasing shit his mom is delusional just like him and his father as well.

It was just weird, especially the fact that she got my number. I'm curious how she got my number.

"I wasn't expecting his mother to be delusional like her son." He said.

"I was saying the same thing, love. I just wish this could be all over and I could finally be at peace," I said.

"Mama, it's okay remember I got'chu baby." I just love the way he reassured me letting me know that everything was going to be okay.

'He's going to protect me.'

He placed a soft kiss on my lips gazing up at me, we continued to make out for a little while as my hands were playing with his mullet along with him squeezing my ass in the process.

"you better stop lil mama." Jey said in a raspy tone.

I tilted my head while looking at him innocently, "or what papi?" taunting him even more as he gazed up at me with his low eyes that were filled with nothing but lust grabbing my throat firmly.

"imma beat that shit in mama, and ion want no running either." He whispered, making my body shiver and hearing him say that to me.

I got up from his lap stripping all of my clothes off in front of him as he watched me with his lustful eyes, his eyes were trailing my body from head to toe licking his lips.

"Bend that ass over on this bed so that I can give you this dick ma."

✧.* OMNISCIENT After their session together, Jey and Tiana were downstairs eating dinner with Bianca and Montez while they watched a movie.

While they were watching the movie, Tiana's phone buzzed. As she looked down to see who was texting her, she saw that Emma had texted her.

Emma🩷 sent 2+ messages

Emma🩷: hey, Tiana I was checking on you to see if you were okay. Emma🩷: I heard you at a restraining order on him.

She read through the messages, beginning to text her back.

Tiana: Hey, I'm fine girl I was finna text you to see if you were okay I know it scared you. Emma🩷: yeah, it really did like honestly. Tiana: well, I did get a restraining order against him but his mom wants me to remove it saying her son is innocent. Emma🩷: what? That's insane I still cannot believe that his parents are acting like this after everything. Tiana: that's what I'm saying girl ridiculous Emma🩷: I've seen that you fighting in the mall? Who was that? Tiana: Joshua's ex girlfriend I just had to beat her ass I couldn't stand her harassing me anymore. Emma🩷: damnnn that's crazy but I'll text you later girl Tiana: ight then.

After chatting it up with Emma, her eyes darted towards Jey's direction. She saw him and Montez talking to each other, not even paying attention to the movie like she and Bianca were.

Hearing Bianca sigh deeply while rolling her eyes at the two.

"Men always gotta be chatting it up." She said.

"Yeah, they can at least enjoy the movie for a bit, then chat it up later," Tiana said while stuffing her mouth with food.

Bianca nodded her head in agreement while eating her food. Tiana kept her eyes on the movie. The scene that we were watching was intense, almost giving her flashbacks between her and Kai. She tried to brush it off so she would not think about it.

But she always let her mind wander.

FLASHBACK(WARNING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)

"Ms Jackson I cannot be with your son any longer he's not safe to be around," I said while keeping my arms folded.

"Honey, my son isn't like that at all; he probably didn't mean to, " she said.

I scoffed at her in disbelief. I couldn't believe that she was actually going to stand up here and defend her son, especially since she was in the same position I was in.

I got up, grabbed my purse and keys, and gave her one last look: "I cannot believe that you're going to sit up here in my face and say that he didn't mean to punch me in the face. That says a lot about your character, Ms. Jackson. Good day." After all of that, I left his parents' house, going back to the place I once called home, which is not a home anymore.

When I pulled up in the driveway I've seen Kai standing there waiting for me, he looked pissed but I couldn't care less I was ready to leave his ass for good.

I got out of my car, turned off the ignition while grabbing my purse, and walked towards the door he blocked me from going in.

"Can you move out the way Kai?" I asked trying to get through the door.

"No, not until you explain to me why the fuck did my mom called me crying because you said something disrespectful," Malakai said while he kept his arms folded.

"Nigga ion got to explain shit to you; now move out the way."

He yanked me by the hair as I fell onto the ground gazing up at him, he went down towards me grabbing me harshly by my chin.

"You wanna keep playing with me? She said you wanted to leave me."

"I do want to leave you because you're abusive and a cheater Emma was right I should've left you alone." I spat as I felt a sting on my face.

He slapped me harshly, grabbing me up by the hair while dragging me inside of the house. I was trying to fight him off, but it only made things worse as he threw me across the table, causing me to hit the back of my head.

Winching in pain, I could see him grabbing something out of his bag, which scared me.

I tried to hurry away from him, but he caught on as he hit me with his pistol, "you aren't going anywhere." grabbing me up again by my hair and pushing his pistol onto my neck.

"If you ever, and I mean EVER, think about leaving me or finding someone else, I will kill you." Malakai threatened.

I felt tears coming down my cheeks while looking at him in fear, there was nothing I could do he was crazy.

"You understand me Tink? Now go ahead and call my mother and apologize NOW!"

Without hesitation, I called his mother to apologize to her for saying what I said earlier, which was only to satisfy him and his wants.

'Fuck'

FLASHBACK OVER.

Tiana's thoughts were interrupted by her boyfriend, Jey, who was calling for her. She looked up at him, reading his facial expressions.

He looked concerned and worried, as he knew how she could be whenever she was in her thoughts or letting her mind wander.

"You okay mama? I've been calling for you for a minute now." Jey asked.

"Oh, sorry, Bubba. I didn't hear you, " she said as she saw him sit next to her.

Jey pulled her onto his lap, holding on to her waist, and rubbed both of her sides as they all watched the movie together.

✧.* After watching the movie together, everyone went upstairs to head to bed. Meanwhile, Tiana was in the shower, letting the warm water hit her body, causing her to sigh in relief.

She didn't know how stressed out she would be with this whole entire situation between her and Kai including with Kehlani running around talking shit, it really did take a mental toll on her a bit.

But she knew that Jey was going to be there for her regardless of the circumstances because she knew that he truly loved her and was about her.

He didn't care about his ex-girlfriend or her, either. All he cared about was Tiana. She felt the cold air coming through the shower, knowing that it would be Jey coming in to take a shower with her.

He closed the curtains behind him as he approached Tiana, wrapping his arms around her waist, causing her to jump a bit.

"My fault, mama. I didn't mean to scare you." He said softly.

"It's okay, you're fine." She responded.

Jey noticed that her energy was off, pulling her closer to his body. He planted soft kisses onto her neck, sensing that her body felt tensed.

He turned her around, getting her attention. He looked into her eyes deeply, trying to read her facial expressions, but he just knew what to do.

He placed his hands on her cheeks, cupping them as he pulled her in for a passionate kiss, which caught her off guard, but she would soon catch on while wrapping her arms around his neck.

They were both making out passionately in the shower as his tongue slowly slipped into her mouth while he snaked his hands onto her ass, giving it a good grip.

This was something that she needed a stress reliever, someone to make her forget about all of her troubles or issues she was dealing with or that was affecting her mentally.

And Jey was the person to do so.

Scooping her up by her thighs, he pinned her onto the wall as their lips never left each other as their tongues were fighting for dominance.

They pulled away for split second as he placed his forehead onto hers, catching their breath together.

"Are you going to let me take care of you, mama? " he asked, kissing her thick lips again.

She nodded her head, playing with his mullet, "You always take care of me, baby." She stared into his eyes deeply, maintaining eye contact with him.

SMUT WARNING Tiana's moans and whines filled up the room, hoping that Bianca and Montez didn't hear her as Jey was giving her long, deep strokes that she truly loved him.

She was lying on her side as her legs were around his waist while he pushed his dick deeper inside of her.

Watching her facial expressions turn up every time he did it which satisfied him.

"Fuckkkk Papi..." she moaned. She had never felt so full, especially when it came to him.

He felt her walls clenching around him, causing him to let out a soft groan escape from his lips.

"Shit, mama, you can't be clenching like that around me. Let me stretch you out." he continued to give her deep strokes while leaning over to her to kiss her on the lips.

She loosened up a bit, letting him take control. He pushed her one legs back towards her stomach, going in deep with every single stroke, circling his hips to hit her spot.

"I love you so much, baby. I'm hitting ya shit and I get to watch yo' pretty ass take it." He whispered in her ear.

Tiana rolled her eyes in the back of her head as she took it all in. She would normally run from him, but this time, it was different for her. She had to learn to take it and let him do all of the talking.

She was letting him take control of the situation.

"you seemed so stressed, baby girl. Let me take care of you." He grabbed her throat firmly, drilling her. The room continued to be filled with her moans mixed with his.

"Joshhh." She whined into his neck as she felt a familiar pit going down her stomach. She felt very overwhelmed by all of this, feeling her legs shake underneath him.

He wanted her to feel every inch of him as she couldn't handle it and tried to push him away, placing her hand on his stomach, but he slapped it away, drilling her deeply.

"Unt-Un, you're doing so well taking it. Keep taking this dick, Mama. Make a mess on me." He rubbed his thumb on her clit, which drove her insane.

He continued to grip her throat firmly, not trying to hurt her, as she felt her toes curling while his strokes got slower and sloppier.

Tiana felt her legs shaking violently as she came all over him and let out the loudest moan tapping on Josh to slow down.

"Take this shit Ma." He was determined to get his nut after hers.

Cursing under his breath as he continued to give her what she needed while sweating was dripping from his face feeling his dick twitching inside of her.

He filled her up like a Twinkie as a satisfied groan left his lips while rolling his eyes in the back of his head, pulling out of her.

SMUT OVER.

He gazed down at her, seeing her body trembling and quivering as he placed soft kisses on her body to calm down.

"you know I got'chu tink." He breathed out before massaging her thighs.

Tiana couldn't let out a word as she felt tired and defeated by him; he got a wet rag and cleaned her up before throwing it in the dirty bin next to her bookshelf.

He got inside the blanket with her, pulling her closer to his chest as he watched her drift into a deep slumber while kissing her on top of her head.

Under Your Touch.

A/N: ngl I'm glad Kehlani and her little ass friends got beat up especially Kehlani ass so annoying. I love how Jey take cares of Tiana.

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments.

Stay Ucey.

[yermes]

Well guys its almost mothers day and after being around internet practitioners I know that some of you have some SERIOUS family issues. And or cannot see your moms this coming mothers day (Im away from mine atm) But thats okay. Ill be your mom today and give you some motherly advice with the deck that my mother gave me (:

So welcome to my Norwegian household there’s tea and chocolate swirl banana bread! (Usually I would make lefse for a baking venture but my parents wouldn’t let my grubby lil whore hands take the lefse press) so we have banana bread.

Pick a meme

Pick a card

Queen of Swords 🕯️

In this deck this card represents a more water aspect of air. The sharp thought of insight, and sitting upon her throne above the storm. While she does represent the chaos of the storm she also represents the cleansing aspect which chaos can bring. While seen as cruel, chaotic, and destructive i argue that these are needed qualities for change and growth. You may be in the eye of the storm now but the wisdom you will gain from this will be useful for the next time you are in a more chaotic shittier storm. (Sorry queen I feel ya a bitch can’t catch a goddamn break.)

Ace of Pents 🍀

Representative of earth and material manifestation. The people huddle close to the card in safety. However, the physical also needs the none physical to manifest. Don’t get to hung up on the material when the nonmaterial is lack luster. However, whenever possible relish in the safety and fulfillment which the physical and the matron can offer.

Seven of Swords 🤡

Wow. If fuck around and find out was in the dictionary your face would be right next to that shit. Basically, you tried however, you didn’t do enough. The seven of swords is a young soldier took the enemies swords but he left a few and his enemies rise to pursue him. Whether you get away or get yeeted is up to you. Roll for speed and charisma and hope you land a 20 😩

Whether you get to spend mothers day with your mom, are away from your mom, have a bad relationship and or not with mom I hope I could give you a little bit of that good motherly vibes today

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Take a forehead kiss^

Now for a long drawn out lecturey story about my life with an eventual point to really give you that empress matron energy you’re missing.

As a Chaos Magician who has been a terror on the internet for a little less then a decade I look back and see myself being heavily influenced by the people I was around.

(If you’re thinking you’re a chaos magician and all you post is tarot readings?I just refuse to give advice to the same internet that tried to curse the fucking moon okay? Okay.)

And you know what I am still influenced to this day. Not in the same ways obviously. When I first started my lil girlfriend at the time brought me into this kik group chat full of practitioners from different mental well beings (IYKYK) to different walks of life and some of these people are still my best friends to this day. Eventually we moved to discord but there was an issue. One of the bigger personalities of the group straight up didn’t like me. And thats fine. But it always got malicious super fast and eventually they got booted from the group along with a few others. But I notice looking back how I bended and shaped my “Germ” personality online to walk on eggshells around them. Now thankfully I was just shaping my online persona to please them while being myself offline but it taught me a lesson about morality and “isness”. Basically. Nothing is. No I won’t elaborate bc whats the fun in that. But Morality can be extremely empty. After being around all these talented practitioners and becoming one myself I saw that at times “bad” intentioned magic can have positive out comes and “good” intentioned magic can have some extremely awful outcomes. When you do magic and practice need to at times you need to realize that it will always manifest in a very realistic way and realistic isn’t always #livelovelaughlight

So anyways. This asshole tried to curse me and since my “Germsona” was so cataclysmically different than how I am IRL. It couldn’t hurt me. They tried to curse Germ not me and since Germ was so different and so molded to this individual I could walk away without a scratch. Be safe out there kiddos and remember I will always be here to give you awful and cringe advice ❤️

Love Germ

The nana bread 😩

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Mortal of Gold - Part 3

(Yandere!C!Techno x GN!Shy!Reader x Yandere!C!Philza)

Anyone want my list of the characters as gods? There were a few characters that I couldn't think of like Ponk, so I just left them out. ANYWAY. Hi, how's it going? ALSO I CANT EDIT THIS DAMN POST AND THE SPELLING ERRORS ARE SO IRRITATING

Part 1 Part 2 TW: Mention of amnesia, memories being altered Send me a message via inbox if you wanna be added to a general or series tag list. Make sure to turn off anon, please. ------- “They weren’t born… A mortal?”

A light wind brushed over your features, causing you to give a small sigh and roll over onto your side in an attempt to block the light from hitting your lidded eyes. It was nice and quiet for once… “(Y/n)?” A distorted voice echoed softly, causing you to flinch a bit. You opened your eyes slightly to see a silky blackbird sitting on the sheets beside you, a few golden trinkets laying beside it. Upon seeing your eyes slide open, the creature hopped up onto its legs and began making soft cooing noises, “(Y/n)! (Y/n), you’re awake!” Glancing around at the surroundings you had been placed in, racking your mind for any sort of familiarity but failing to come up with anything at all, even who you were. You sat up, slowly brushing your fingers along your ombre silk clothing before putting your hands on the sheets below your body, frowning as you didn’t recognize the bed as yours. “Hello…” You murmured softly, reaching your hand out to the crow who eagerly jumped forward to nuzzle your hand. The feathers of the bird felt… Odd. They felt more like grabbing at misty fog, but with a light staticky cotton texture that caused a buzzing sensation on your fingertips, “I’m sorry, my memory… Seems to be a tad faulty… Could you tell me your name?” “I’m Chat, Dadza- er… Philza’s familiar! I was a gift from Mumza, oops... Kristen, the Goddess of Void and Death.” It chirped, its voice having multiple layers in your head, causing you to shake your head a slight bit, “No, they’re not married, only parental figures to the souls that pass on to the afterlife or those they saved sometime before they passed on… I believe they have more of a co-worker relationship.” You nodded slightly, pursing your lips at how the creature’s voice sounded in your mind. It was unsettling and caused shivers to crawl up and down your back, but at the same time, it was incredibly calming and had a soothing aura. How that worked, you had no clue whatsoever. Brushing off the unsettling voice of the bird, you decided to focus on the name that caused a light to go off in your head, “Alright… Philza… I think I remember that name…” “Yeah! Dadza- Eck… Sorry. Phil, he’s the God of Survival and Crows! He controls not only every crow in the mortal land, but he also controls whether or not someone will survive a situation. If there is no way that the mortal can survive, he will send a crow down and have them guide the soul of the mortal to him! Then he escorts them to Kristen! He has gained the name Angel of Death because he works for Mumza!” You decided not to question why the crow called Philza and Kristen Mumza and Dadza, knowing that you’d probably find out later, but by the sound of it Chat seemed to be multiple children, “Okay… Makes sense…” You mumbled slowly, nodding your head up and down. With a sigh you slowly brought your legs over to the side of the bed, only now becoming aware of how large the soft mattress was. Lowlands! (Hell) You could probably fit six people who were ten feet tall in it with room to roam! Pushing yourself off the bed, you also realized how high the beautiful bed was off the floor, Gods, whoever lived here was tall! Behind you, you heard a small chirp, and you saw Chat watching you curiously. With a small shrug, you decided to pick the familiar up and hold it in your cupped hands as you walked out the door, “Oooh! Dadza never carries us like this, and Technoblade does only when he’s about to yeet us out a window!” “Yeet?” You scowled in confusion as you walked through the arched doorway, your bare feet padding silently on the quartz flooring, “I'm scared to ask. Technoblade? Is he also a god of some things? He sounds familiar as well…” “That’s its word for throwing something. Well, it yells the word when they throw something or get thrown, so I assume it’s yelling in excitement,” A deep voice spoke from in front of you, causing you to gasp and lift your head from the crow. The telepathic chirping and squeaks from Chat in your mind quickly formed the name Technoblade, so… You had a feeling that your answer was on its way past his

lips, “I’m Technoblade, or Techno, the God of Blood and War. It’s… nice to see you finally awake…” He shifted awkwardly on his feet as you curiously studied him. His appearance could certainly be described as godly if anyone asked you. His long pink hair was mostly twisted and tied into a braid with bits of golden chain and a polished golden crown adorned with rubies, garnets and diamonds. Upon his pale skin, dozens of scars of varying sizes decorated his skin in different areas, but they were displayed in an almost proud manner. Almost. When he spoke, his dark pink eyes hidden behind cracked glasses searched your form for any sort of injury, “I’m… (Y/n)... I think. I don’t know if this bird is exactly trustworthy in its information… Do you know where I am?” Techno snorted as Chat gave an offended squawk at your statement, “That’s very fair, to be honest. You’re in the Tundra of the Upperlands, and this is my palace. No there is no snow, I believe the person who named this place has never looked into the name or word Tundra, but it’s been like this for too long to change it-” He paused for a moment as he noticed you looking extremely confused, “Ah. Right. Desert. Don’t worry about it.” “Oh… Okay…” You frowned at the tusked male for a moment before shaking your head, deciding not to question it much, “Now, uh… How did I get here, and why don’t I remember anything about myself? Or, about you and this Philza guy, I was told about.” You lifted Chat slightly toward Techno as a silent indication that Chat was the one who told you about Phil. “That’s uh… Phil’s field of expertise.” He rubbed the back of his head with his black-tipped fingers before adjusting his crown, “I don’t understand much of what happened, and Phil will tell you what you need to know that will keep you safe.” Hesitantly, he held his free hand out towards you making you realize that he was easily over seven and a half feet tall, “C’mon, I’ll take you to him and get you the answers you need.” His hand was extremely steady, you noticed as you stared down at it cautiously. Once you noticed that he didn’t seem to want to do you harm, you slowly shifted Chat into one hand and used your free hand to take the one extended to you, which you couldn’t help but notice, made Technoblade very happy, “Okay. Thank you.” The god held your hand in his calloused one for a few moments before beginning to lead you down the tan and white hallways that were turned a light golden hue from the rising sun. It was quite a long walk filled with a slightly uncomfortable silence, but you distracted yourself by looking around the palace curiously. It was obvious he was the God of War by how many swords hanging on walls and sets of armour he had placed on armour stands in the hallways. Eventually, he walked you through an archway that led into a wide-open room with multiple windows that had many crows perched on the windowsills, some chirping and singing some little tune in perfect unison while others shuffled around, seeming to do a little dance. You were quick to realize the whistling of one of the birds didn’t match up and noticed that it was coming from the man with the large white and green striped hat as well as massive black feathered wings dangling on his back, fluffing themselves up every so often. When you and Techno stepped in, the blackbirds started chirping loudly, losing the rhythm of the tune the winged man was whistling as Chat started telepathically squealing about… 2/4? Two out of four what? “Ah!” The hat-wearing male turned around and clasped his hands together upon seeing you standing up, “(Y/n), you’re awake. I was worried the injuries you sustained were enough to keep you out cold for a few more weeks. I’m glad to see I was wrong. I’m Philza, God of Survival and Crows, and I see you’ve met Chat and Techno. Pesky bird, I told it not to wake you...” You pursed your lips for a moment, analyzing the shorter god as the bird squealed out its protests. While he was shorter than Techno, he was certainly tall, standing roughly around six feet tall, his wingspan

probably double that for each wing! His blonde hair was long around his face but was pulled into a loose braid like Techno’s was, although instead of gold intertwined into his hair, it was silver. His outfit was made up of a loose green shirt and black pants, with a red heart-shaped pendant dangling off of a chain into the center of his chest. Why did that pendant… Look familiar? You slowly rose your hand up and clasped at the pendant around your neck, noticing how Philza smiled softly, “Technoblade… Said you could tell me why I can’t remember anything?” “You’re still wearing my gift, I see,” Philza gave a soft hum as Chat jumped from your hand and onto his shoulder, before gesturing for you and Techno to take a seat where he already had drinks and some form of cakes set out, but they certainly weren’t there when you came in. Upon seeing your confused blinking, he gave a soft laugh, “I’m a god, mate, magic is no difficult task for me, let alone creating some measly tea and desserts. Now, sit down and I will tell you everything…” - General - None Mortal of Gold -@generalalmond @binas-idea-vault @ohworm-writes

[dameronology]

the one with all the yelling {obi-wan x reader}

summary: after making a stupid decision in battle and having an argument with your best friend, a confession slips out that surprises both of you (or maybe it doesn’t)

this is a reupload bc i took it down for editing. as usual, this has lots of swearing in, just a pre-warning. enjoy!!

- jazz

They say that time slows down when you’re about to die - that your life flashes before your very eyes. You’re supposed to see the thing you love most, the people you value most. It was meant to be a final moment filled with a lifetime of emotions, of memories; regrets and mistakes; unfulfilled wishes and incomplete to do lists. The way it was described was hauntingly poetic, the sort of thing almost made you want to to experience it just so that you could understand what it felt like.

And, having witnessed a near-death experience in recent hours, you could safely conclude that everything in the aforementioned paragraph was a steaming pile of horse shit.

There was nothing graceful or cinematic about the way you had yeeted yourself across the battle-field, mud unceremoniously flying up around your ass as you kicked Obi-Wan Kenobi out of the line of fire. The blaster fire was inches away from your face - mere inches - and that, of all things, was when you figured the final moments might have come.

Instead, all you got was a hit to the shoulder and a mouth full of dirt. You were very much alive - but after coughing up an unflattering amount of earth and clambering back to your feet with all the grace of a beached whale, the same could not be said for your dignity.

At the forefront of things, you’d been trying to save your best friend’s life. That was all you could think about when you’d launched yourself discourteously towards Obi-Wan; he couldn’t die. Too many people - yourself included - needed him. And, you were certain that if you hadn’t been killed saving his ass, the sudden lack of reason from his presence in your life would have killed you anyways. The man stopped you from walking into traffic on the daily.

You weren’t entirely sure what to say to Obi-Wan. You were sitting on the end of his bed, fresh out of the shower and bundled up in an oversized tunic that belonged to the man pacing in front of you. For a man of many words, he was disturbingly quiet as he stitched you up and even more so when he helped you undress and get into the shower.

What sort of thing were you supposed to say in this situation? Sorry that I booted you up the arse and sent you flying six foot through the air? I had your best interests at heart, I promise.

‘Personally, I am rather pleased with the fact I am still alive.’ You broke the icy silence that had befallen you. Obi-Wan immediately stopped in his pacing tracks, head turning to face you with a bewildered look. Maybe that wasn’t the best conversation opener.

‘How could you…’ Obi-Wan went to say something but his words were lost. He’d witnessed you do a lot of stupid things but this one took the cake. This was stupid thing to end all stupid things. ‘Why would you - actually, I don’t even know what to say.’

‘I mean a thank you would probably suffice.’ You muttered. ‘I did just take a bullet for you.’

‘How could you have been so stupid?!’ He snapped. ‘You could have died!’

‘I was trying to save you!’ You reminded him.

Right. There was that - the alarmingly obvious thing that he’d been trying not to think about.

Obi-Wan couldn’t deny his feelings for you; you’d always been his slightly kooky best friend but maker, he adored you. Life as a Jedi could be dark but you were his nightlight - a soft glow to guide him to brighter things, to remind him that not all was lost.

He’d spent hours convincing himself that you didn’t feel the same. You were too busy running around with what Obi-Wan was certain was a singular brain cell, getting yourself into trouble and making questionable decisions. But, now that you’d quite literally thrown yourself into the line of fire for him? It was certainly a compelling piece of evidence to the contrary.

(Of course, you loved him too. You’d been in love with him since the day you’d met. That was a minor detail you’d chosen not to mention to him - avoiding the truth wasn’t the same as lying, right?)

‘I don’t need saving.’ Obi-Wan said.

‘Oh, please.’ You snorted. ‘You might be Jedi Master Kenobi of the High Jedi Council, Best Jedi To Ever Jedi and Regular Shagger of the Jedi Code-’

‘- you used the word Jedi a few too many times there-’

‘- but you are not bulletproof!’

‘Neither are you!’

‘But I’m alive, aren’t I?’ Your tone was suddenly soft. ‘I’m in one piece.’

‘Barely.’ He murmured. ‘You can’t do things like that.’

‘Well, I did.’ You would have raised your voice louder had your shoulder not been screaming in pain. ‘And stomping around like a pissy toddler isn’t going to change it.’

The most terrifying part - for both of you, truthfully speaking - was how quickly you had done it. You hadn’t even thought about it; you saw red and you launched yourself into the blaster’s path without even considering the consequences. The most important thing to you in that moment had been that Obi-Wan’s life was at risk and it had led to a sudden disregard for your own.

‘I’ll get better.’ You continued. ‘I’m only signed off for a few weeks and as soon as I’m on the mend I will be back in the field. It’ll be like nothing ever happened-’

‘- but it did happen.’ Obi-Wan cut you off. ‘I’m always going to remember that you risked your life for me without even having to think about it.’

Grabbing onto the poster of his bed, you pulled yourself up and slowly approached him. Obi-Wan almost backed away when his robe inched off your shoulders, revealing the nasty red gash just by your collarbone. The idea quickly slipped away, however, when you rested your hands on his forearms, hands slipping under his sleeves and intertwining your fingers.

‘What else would I do?’ You softly laughed. ‘It’s you, Obi.’

‘Would you have done the same for someone else?’ He asked. ‘For Anakin? Or for Ahsoka?’

You faltered slightly, grip on him loosening a tiny bit. ‘Of course.’

‘Y/N.’

‘What?’

‘Don’t lie.’ He suddenly jerked his hands away from you, spinning around on his heel so that you were suddenly facing his back.

‘Fine.’ You grumbled. ‘I would only do it for you. I would only blindly throw myself in front of a bullet for you. Not anyone else. Not a single soul. Does that make you happy? Does that inflate your ego enough, Kenobi-’

‘- that’s not what this is about.’

‘Then tell me!’ You let out a small groan of pain as you grabbed him by the material of his shirt, using every last ounce of energy to make him look at you again. ‘Tell me what it’s about because you are not making sense and I am the world’s leading expert in that field.’

‘It’s not about anything.’

‘Oh, bullshit!’ You whacked his arm, adrenaline worming its way into your tired body and finally allowing you to raise your voice. ‘I just saved your fucking life and you’re acting like a moody son of a bitch and accusing me of lying!’

‘It’s because I love you!’

‘Well, I love you too!’

‘Great!’

‘Fine!’

‘Wonderful!’

‘Brilliant!’

‘Well I’m glad we cleared that up!’

‘Me too!’

‘We should probably stop shouting!’

‘Good idea!’

You unballed your fists just in time to catch the material of Obi-Wan’s shirt as he stepped towards you, taking you by the waist and pulling you towards him. He crashed his lips into yours, knocking the air from your lungs as he did. You’d thought about kissing him many times - more than you were willing to admit, actually - but now that you were actually here, with a handle tangled in his soft hair and his warm lips moving against yours?

Nothing could have prepared you for this moment - for the declaration of love or the kiss or the way he was holding onto you, hands desperately gripping to your waist as though you were about to slip away into the darkness of the galaxy and leave him alone forever. Just a few hours ago, that had been a very real possibility.

You’d admitted to yourself earlier that you probably couldn’t have survived in a world without Obi-Wan Kenobi. Little did you know that he’d admitted to himself years before that he couldn’t have survived without you.

‘I love you.’ His words were softer now, barely a whisper against your lips as pressed his forehead to yours.

‘If I’d known that almost dying was all it took to make you tell me, I would have done it years-’

‘-Y/N.’ He groaned.

‘Sorry.’ You smiled softly. ‘I love you too.’

[luimagines]

In lieu of what happened yesterday with Wolfie... may I raise you with Bunny Legend?

He despises the form. Why, of all the things he could have been, had to be a bunny? A tiger or even a dog would have been better than that a fluffy, weak... pink mammal! It's not fair that Twilight get a cool one instead of him, which is completely stupid since he is one of the oldest, and far more seasoned in salt of the group. On top of that, how dare he stealing your attention like that!? How is he supposed to make a move if Twilight is always hanging around you as Wolfie? He wants you to be the only one to hear how he feels about you...

...And, maybe, is also because he is terrified of you turning him down, the ache in his heart would be worse than a stab with Twilight watching him get rejected...

But this is why he have been named as the "Veteran" and not something else; he has dealt with a lot of situation before with far less objects at his reach to help him, but he always manages to get through it. He's very cunning and is quick to think on his feet...

...Or at least, almost all of the time he is. Erring is most common when you aren't at your most calm, isn't it?

Legend admits that he acted out of desperation: you had him at his wits end! But it's hard to feel frustrated with himself when you are nuzzling your face on top of his head, little squeaks of happiness and a high pitch voice while you baby talked to him, gussing about his very soft fur and really cute vest. You even called him handsome! You never do that when he is in his human form, you don't even spare him a glance when he rolls his sleeves, making a big of a show of flexing his arms, stretching out and pushing out his chest and arms back, all so you can see how muscular he, too, is. But the only thing you do is oogle at Twilight-- as if he isn't enough of a menace to him-- and that idiot of Mr. Captain when they wrestle together, shirtless. He just wants your pretty eyes on him, those plump lips, cherry from how you are bitting them, shamelessly devouring the two men with your gaze...

...Ugh, just pay attention to him, okay!? He will shower you with all the love and adoration you deserve and more! So please, direct that intensity to him, and only him.

A poke to his furrowed brows broke him out of his mind. Legend cautiously looks up at you. He mentally kicks himself as he is met with your worried eyes, the last thing he wanted was for you to feel any type of negative emotions, so that glint spurred him on rubbing his furred cheek on your free open palm, wanting to change the expression out of your face. It seem to work, you opened your eyes more and even giggled a little before scratching under his chin with two of your fingers.

"Got lost for a second there, buddy?" You whisper. Even if your tone was soft, the vibrations travelled from your chest pressed against the back of his small form engulfing it in a warm and pleasant feeling.

Legend closed his eyes and let all of his weight rest on you, not that you minded, of course. Being the sunshine that you are, you giggled cutely once more and tugged him closer to you, to the point of almost being curled around him. It was a rare sensation; he felt protected for once instead of being the one providing said feeling, he must admit that it was quite comforting, but Legend will forego ever feeling like this again in exchange of you being safe forever, you will always be his priority.

"Hmm..." you pecked his head. "Y'know, you remind me of someone that I like a lot"

His long ears fell flat on either side of his head as his heart stilled.

Like a lot...?

You... already have someone that you hold dear?

You seem to miss how his body grow stiff between your arms as you continued in drowning him in affection. What used to be a delightfull experience, now, it hurts him more than any wound he have ever sustained in his life, more than any burn from fire lizards or the cold, prickly bite of exhaustion of his tired body as he dragged himself through every and more corners of Hyrule.

Your hands played with the small tuff of fur on his head, but Legend's mind was far too gone to properly feel the touch. In its place, his heart dropped and shattered, somehow still beating as he felt the fastening Thumping in his stomach. How foolish and naive of him, to ever believe that he got an opportunity with you. Even the people that you two are travelling with can barely stand him, and they are supposed to be the same person.

Is he really that despicable?

"It's actually funny."

Funny how stupid he is, isn't he?

"He came back a few nights ago, very upset."

Well, that guy clearly doesn't now a thing about suffering. He isn't the one getting his heart demolish while in the arms of the love of his life like him.

You pinched the tip of his left ear and softly lifted it up. "He came back with his hair the same shade of pink that you have! In my opinion" you lean down a Little, as if you were about to share a secret "He looks very cute like that. A shame He will never let me say that to his face..."

Pink? Like the rose tinted glasses he have been wearing all this time-- Uh? Hair?

Are you... Please, don't give him hope like that. He can't take another loss in his life, because if you don't mean it, he would be devastated for good.

He felt your body shifting a little before you let go of him to instead hook your hands under his armpits, slowly lifting him up then turning around his body so now the two of you can be face to face. His tiny nose twitched as you leaned in a poked the tip of your own nose to his pink one, rubbing a little before you leaned back again. Legend layed his pawns on top of your chest, eagerly following your movements when he saw you opening your mouth to continue, he didn't want to miss anything that you are about to say:

"He is a big dork, with an even bigger ego. Very handsome too and... Ugh, Legend, why you have to be such a cactus all the time?" You finished with a tinge of frustration in your voice.

In a normal scenario, he would have argued about that last statement, but he couldn't because of two good reasons: one, he is still in his dark world form, it would be very weird if this bunny you found in the Forrest acted as if it was personally insulted by your words. And second...

You actually like him.

Him, With all of his flaws and bad attitude, you still found and assigned a space in your heart for only him, Legend.

Just as how down he got, his spirit raised up again with vigor, his heart soared from the dark pit of grief that held it a couple of minutes ago taking its rightful place at the peak of the shrine dedicated to your whole being. He didn't even noticed that his skin was ice cold until a burst of heat shot from his feet to the tip of his ears that acted as a catalyst as he threw himself towards your chest, his body felt light as a feathe, he tried his best to fight off the desire to laugh or shout out this waves of overwhelming energies.

Oh, how your chuckles were like the tunes from the most rich instrument in the entire universe being played by the goddesses themselves, more revitalizing than any potion or fairy pond.

"Do you think I should say something, buddy?" You returned his hug.

Legend furiously nodded his head, not think if it will appear weird that he could understand you. You squeezed the tiny bunny between your arms before putting him at arms length:

"Thank you, buddy. Somehow, now I have the confidence to talk to that prickly bitch--"

"--A PRICKLY WHAT???"

...Uh oh.

Even the common noises of the Forrest fell silent at his outburst.

Legend didn't had a second to try and amend his mistake as, suddenly, his vision was thrown into a spiral; everything looked blurry and the wind on his fur was a clear indicator of how hard you launched him away from you. He felt slightly proud at you quick reaction time but...

...No amount of fur can soften the crash on the hard forrest floor, just his luck that he didn't fell on the conveniently batch of dry leaves right beside him. It hurt, not as how bad his heart was hurting, but painful nonetheless.

He just really hopes you won't tell the group about the weird, pink bunny that can talk, or else he won't ever heard the end of it from Sky and Twilight.

-----------

AND IT'S DONE CKSKFJEJCUC IT TOOK ME A LOT OF TIME JUST TO SAY "Legend tried to pull a Twilight and got yeeted out of existence"

I think that Legend has self esteem problems! With what happened in A Link to the past, it's hard to overcome a whole nation hating your guts when you only wanted to help.

You really just said "If no one will provide me with Legend simpage, I'll do it myself"

I'm grinning so much right now. I ended up biting my lip a bit harder than I intended to because I almost screamed at the end when he finally spoke up.

The whole time I was like "But Legend can speak? Why is that not- Oh that's why."

Also, describing how Legend tries to peacock as he stretches to catch the Reader's attention *chef's kiss*.

[shadowofahope]

NOT Gonna Happen

Warnings: Swearing? One bad word near the end.

Premise: Fight or Flight. Meet BTS or run away from BTS?

“Uh guys…. She’s rolling away.” Yoongi points to you and your attempt to escape the room. Hands grab your ankles to halt your getaway. “I hate all of you.” You groan up at Yeonjun, who still had hold of you. You give up, letting out a deep sight, wishing the ground would open from under you.

Ft. TXT

Authors notes: My honest to all the kpop gods, reaction to meeting these boys. YEET!

This is also a response to people constantly asking me, what would you do if you met BTS?

ALSO this is heavily un-edited. I'm really tired and I'm trying to write 3.5 stories at once! Wooooh, wish me luck!

masterlist

Today marks your 8th week working at BigHit, currently working with TxT on their new album and the chaos that always followed them. Walking down a hallway with one of the backup dancers you had become quick friends with, you felt at home in this monumental building. You are comfortable here, everyone making you feel at home.

“Pleasssssse” Sung-ho begs again. Hands on your shoulders, shaking you gently as he walks behind you. “You have to come.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” You whine back, swinging your staff badge back and forth on your neck. “You know I don’t want to meet them.

He tugs on your shoulders lightly forcing you to halt. Jumping in front of you, palms pressed together, eyes closed he starts begging.

“You promised you would come to one practice. Just this one. Please Please Please-”

Huffing in frustration, you screw up your nose. He silently waits for you to give in, as he knows you will eventually.

“Just this one.” You finally give in.

“Yaaay!” He cheers, jumping to your side.

In all the comotion you don’t notice the footsteps approaching you two from down a connecting hallway. Shrugging your friend off, you’re about to round the corner when you hear it. Instantly freezing.

“I think it’ll be safer to go over the choreo with the dancer one more time.”

“I agree, the timing still seems a little off. We should take a look at the schedules.”

“Sung-ho!”

Your friend smiles and turns to the voice that called him, turning his back to you.

“Hello, Taehyung. Jimin. Hoseok.” Sung-ho greets cheerfully.

“Do you have time to come with us to discuss the schedules for practice?” Jimin asks politely.

“Of course, I was just on my way to grab a snack with -” He starts to explain, turning to where you once stood. Hand hanging in the air, he’s dumbfounded.

“With-?” Hoseok questions.

“Apparently myself.” He turns back to the boys. How had you disappeared so quickly and to where?

He chuckled awkwardly at the idols, cursing you for putting him in this embarrassing situation.

They mirror back his awkward laugh, excusing themselves as they continue on down the hallway.

Your friend stands there for almost two full minutes, trying to figure out what in the hell just happened. He hears a rattle coming from the small storage room near him.

The door swings open.

“You did not just-“ He’s wheezing, trying to catch his breath.

“Don’t talk to me” You walk out of the storage room, in reality it’s more of a tiny linen closet. Upon hearing the idols voices, In sheer blind panic, you threw yourself into the closet and shut the door behind you.

Walking past your still wheezing friend, you push him playfully before continuing on towards the lounge. His loud cackles bouncing around you all the way there.

💜♾💜♾💜

You are sitting in a waiting room with TXT. You’ve made yourself comfortable on one of the couches facing away from the door across the large room, angled towards the wall full over mirrors for makeup and hair. Scrolling through your phone, while Kai and Taehyun talk about something animatedly behind you. You can see them every once in a while, flailing their arms, mimicking wild gestures.

You three had chosen to stay back while the other three needed to ‘stretch’ their legs and find something to drink. So when the door opens you don’t look up, expecting it to be the missing members. Your body lurches forward at the reflection in the mirror, panic spreading.

“Hyung!” Kai exclaims excitedly, bounding over to the 2 members of BTS that have entered the room. “What are you doing here?”

“Hello, we were looking for Jungkook. Have you seen him?” Namjoon asks, looking around the room.

“No, he hasn’t been through here.” Taehyun chirps next to his bandmate.

“Ok, I’ll try calling him again. '' Jin responds, pulling out his phone from his back pocket.

“What are you guys doing here?” Namjoon questions the younger idols.

“Oh, we are working on a concept for one of the singles off our album. Our producer -” Kai motions to the couch that you were on. Now being completely empty. Your slouching form gone, the room appeared empty as well. “Who apparently is gone now, was here helping us.”

Jin and Namjoon shared a skeptical glance at each other. Kai rubs the back of his head as he looks at his beandmember, giving him a confused tilt to his head, to which he gets a shrug in response.

“That’s the newer producer right?” Jin questions.

“Uh yea, that’s her.” Taehyun confirms, still utterly confused by your houdini act.

“We’ve heard a lot of great things about her, from all over, but we still havent seen her.” Namjoon concluded by nodding his head, in thought.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll meet her soon. It’s bound to happen.” Kai reassures.

The duos bid each other goodbye, BTS leaving the room and TXT walking back towards the empty couch.

“How did she-where did she-?” Unable to fully ask his question, Taehyun looks around the room again.

Kai rounds the side of the couch, noticing a hood under the coffee table.

“Noona?” He tries to hide his laugh but fails miserably.

You lift your head from the floor, removing your hood, peering up from underneath the coffee table at the younger. You glare at him, crawling out as he falls back onto his butt laughing, Taehyun joining him on the floor. Both now convulsing with uncontrollable laughter.

Flopping angrily back onto the couch in your previous position, you ignore their incessant chattering and laughing. Recounting you hiding again and again. Even when the other members returned and they explained everything that happened while they were gone, you chose to angrily scroll on your phone until their pestering and teasing died down.

💜♾💜♾💜

Pacing back and forth in a secluded lounge area, you waited with all of the members of txt. You were waiting to hear back from the execs about your concept ideas. The boys had worked extremely hard to come up with a fully thought out concept, you had backed their ideas the whole way as they presented them to the higher staff. Now you waited, anxiously.

Drumming your hands together while pacing you chewed on your bottom lip nervously. Each member stationed on the couch, lounger ottoman, facing you. Legs bouncing in anticipation, knuckles cracking you stopped in front of the large window, facing them, the outside world behind you.

“Look guys, regardless of what happens you did amazing.” You smile at them. “And I’m unbelievably proud of you. All of you.”

Breaking them out of their stoppers, they look up at your faces glowing, pride swelling in their chests.

“Soobin-ah?” A deep voice calls from somewhere unknown, and you freeze.

The members of TXT jump up from their seats, whirling around in time to see all the members of bts walking around the balcony area over to them.

“Taehyung-hyung,” Soobin greets politely. “How are you all doing today.?”

“Good, we just finished rehearsals.” Taehyung explains, once they were standing just on the other side of the couch to him. “Have you guys heard anything yet? We saw the concept art, we really liked it!”

“Nothing yet. We were actually just waiting. Noona was just trying to-” Soobin attempts to explain, motioning behind him to you. Seeing the skeptical looks on their faces, he turned his head to see nothing. You had completely vanished. With furniture and a structural wall surrounding you, there was no place you possibly could be hiding.

Confusion evident on his face as he looks over at Yeonjun. Eyes silently asking him where you had gone, the older only shook his head, eyes just as wide, he shrugged in response.

“Right, the elusive producer we keep hearing about but never seeing.” Yoongi responds comically. “Maybe she isn’t real? But a ghost!”

Spooking Jin and Hoseok alike, they give him an alarmed glare.

“No, we promise she’s real.” Soobin persuades, his voice coming out in almost a plea.

Trying to affirm your existence to their Hyungs, Gyu becomes overwhelmingly curious. He walks over to the spot you had been standing, a deep frown settled on his features.

He does a full 360, in an attempt to understand where you could have gone. Upon turning around he notices something. Stifling a laugh and breaking into a full blown smile, he subtly waves Kai over, when they make eye contact. Kai nonchalantly makes his way over to him, Gyu mumbles something to him and he looks in the direction that Gyu was nodding. Trying to hide his own laugh, the two youngest members stand snickering, waiting for the members of BTS to walk away before exposing you to the group.

Once the groups bid each other goodbye, they both break out into hysterical laughter.

“What guys?” Yeonjun jumps at the unexpected hollering. But neither boy can speak, too consumed by laughter they both point to the semi open window.

“She didn’t” Taehyun launches himself over the ottoman in front of him rushing to the window. Soobin and Yeonjun right behind him. The three of them look out to see your figure hopping down from the last branch of the tree outside.

With lightning speed and zero hesitation, you had climbed out of the already opened window on the second floor. Stepped from the ledge onto a tree that's long, thick branches were supporting itself against the building. Then walked to the center of the large tree and climbed your way down.

Mass hysteria broke out between the 5 members.

“That’s it. We have to make her meet them.” Soobin exclaims, wiping a tear that fell down his cheek.

“Guys, I think I have a plan.” Yeonjun smirks. So they all huddled around to listen.

💜♾💜♾💜

Today was supposed to be your day off. But upon receiving a text from Soobin, saying they needed you there urgently for their concept proposal, you raced straight there. So there you were standing in the hall talking to an exec in a black oversized pullover hoodie and workout leggings. Today was about comfort over professionalism, well it was supposed to be.

But when you had finished your pleasant chat with the exec, he started apologizing profusely about something he couldn’t say. Trying to hide his chuckle, his eyes dart over your shoulder. Before you could press him about his comments, you were spun around and hoisted off of your feet. Draped over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes. In alarm you manage to struggle enough to see your kidnapper, Yeonjun.

“What are you dooooooiiiinnnng?” You whine, struggling more.

He says nothing, but turns down the hallway to the dance practice rooms.

“Put me down shrek.” You quote. Wiggling even harder to escape the ironclad grip on you.

“There’s no point Noona, just accept it.” A sweet cheerful voice, butts in, shoes coming into view as you tilt your head up to look.

“Really Kai, they have you in on this too?” You slump in defeat. “Fine, but don’t you dare fart.”

Your capture lets out a chuckle before entering the dance room. The other three members you can kind of see. Or at least their shoes. Your hood keeps flopping down and making it hard to tell.

“Guys seriously, why are you-” You begin as blood starts rushing to your head. Making you slightly dizzy.

“Hello Hyungs.” Yeonjun greets politely. Panic rising, you tilt your head to the side to look into the wall mirror, there you see all 7 members of BTS sitting on the floor, along with the other members of TXT standing around you. “This is Y/N-Noona, the real, not a ghost, producer.”

Realization hits you like a ton of bricks, as snickers and muffled laughs resonate behind you.

“Yeonjun…..” Your voice is a little shaky. “You did not just introduce me to BTS ass FIRST?!”

Everyone in the room breaks into rounds of full belly laughter as you are hoisted back over the shoulder, feet planted on the floor.

Turning shyly to the side, you make eye contact with each member of BTS. Your legs crumble beneath you, muttering ‘I could have lived my whole life without this’ angrily. You lay on the ground face down, hood over your head as more laughter ensues.

“You had to meet them at some point, even backwards!” Gyu exclaims between heaves of laughter, clutching his stomach .

Waving your hand blindly towards the members of TXT you bark “That’s it! We are no longer friends. Done, Forever, never again!”

Apologies begin to flow toward you but you ignore them. Eventually you ignore any comment that comes your way, still plastered to the floor, the 12 men begin to talk about other things. Completely unaware of you.

...Or so you thought….

“Uh guys…. She’s rolling away.” Yoongi points to you and your attempt to escape the room. Hands grab your ankles to halt your getaway.

“I hate all of you.” You groan up at Yeonjun, who still had hold of you. You give up, letting out a deep sight, wishing the ground would open from under you.

[krreader]

BTS reacting to a sasaeng trying to touch/take photos of your baby bump.

pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: mentions of physical assault genre: angst ; fluff word count: 2.5k+

a/n: I hope the reality would be the boys yeeting these sasaengs into another universe, seriously. but for the sake of the story, here. thanks for the request @sakuroseuchiha​, and I’m very sorry it took forever ♥

kim seokjin

“What is this?” Jin entered the bedroom and practically pushed the phone in your face, his breathing heavy and his cheeks flushed, clearly upset.

You looked at what he was showing you, but then quickly averted your gaze and continued folding the laundry as if what he was showing you didn’t matter.

“(Y/N)!” he rarely got angry, not like this. And you knew that he wasn't angry with you.. maybe only for not telling him about what had happened today. He grabbed your upper arm and turned you so that you had to look at him, “Why didn't you tell me about this?”

“I didn't want you to get angry.. like now,” you sighed deeply, “I wasn't hurt, I walked into the nearest store and they didn't follow me inside because the shop owners were kind enough to help me and keep them out. All they got was a blurry photo.”

Your husband's mouth dropped, his eyebrows furrowing, “How can you be so nonchalant about this?”

You snorted, “What do you want me to do, Seokjin? Do you want me to sob my eyes out because some sixteen year old girls wanted to become Twitter famous by posting our unborn child on their Twitter account? If I were that weak, then marrying you wouldn't have been a good idea in the first place,” you pushed his hand away, “I'm fine.”

Maybe, but he wasn't. He was so tired of this bullshit.

And you only found out just how tired he was when you wanted to go grocery shopping the next day and were face-to-face with a man that introduced himself as your new bodyguard that your husband had hired to make sure that situations like those wouldn't happen anymore.

You had meant what you had said, you were fine, but knowing that someone that size was following you around and making sure that no harm would come to you and – even more importantly – to your unborn child – made you feel a lot more at ease.

min yoongi

Yoongi cursed and thanked BigHit at the same time for existing.

On one hand, he hated himself for ever having signed up with them, because now you and his unborn child were in danger because of him, but at the same time, he was so grateful that they tried their best in protecting the three of you to the best of their abilities.

One of the staff members had managed to gain access to a secret forum used only by sasaengs, where they shared private information about idols that nobody but these idols, their families and the company should know about.

And during this 'undercover work', she discovered a thread dedicated to you and Yoongi, or more specifically, your unborn child.

She found out that they had found out where you had planned to have your delivery and wanted to be there to take pictures of the two – or in the end – three of you.

You and Yoongi would have had no idea about this. You would have had no other choice but to endure it and later see these very private photos online, but thanks to her, you were able to switch hospitals last minute and were able to handle this matter privately.

That female staff member said she was merely doing her job when you and Yoongi thanked her later, but your husband made sure that she didn't just get a raise, but a promotion on top of it.

You both owed her a lot.

jung hoseok

“Look, daddy!” Hoseok beamed happily as he watched his son point upwards to the head of the giraffe, “Soooooo biggy!”

“If you want to be that big, you need to eat all the vegetables that mommy puts on your plate from now on, okay?” he tickled the little boy a little, engulfed by his beautiful laughter, that he didn't realize what was happening behind him.

You were standing a few feet behind them, wanting them to enjoy a father-son moment, while also watching the buggy. However, unlike your husband, you weren't smiling. Your eyes were focused on three girls to your right who had been following you for the past fifteen minutes and were now debating on whether or not to go up to your husband and say something.

And you really didn't mind if they said hello when it was only Hoseok, but your child was with you and you didn't want to involve him in that life. Not yet, not if you could avoid it.

However, you had been wrong all along. You thought that they were whispering among themselves to figure out a strategy on when to go up to Hoseok. 

But that wasn't the case.

They were waiting until they were sure that he was busy enough with your son not to notice what they were doing.

Which was pull out their phones, all three of them, and then point the camera at you.

Even though you knew it wasn't actually you, but the baby bump that had begun to form. A story that had only been rumors up until now, but you were too far along now to hide it any longer.

The moment you realized what was happening, you pushed the buggy forward until you were at your husband's side and said: “We need to go. Right now.”

With how alert you were, he instantly became too, started looking around and realized what was happening.

He put his son in the baggy, then took off his jacket and placed it over your shoulders, before he pushed the baggy with one hand and you gently forward with his hand on your lower back.

So much for keeping the secret about baby number two a little longer.

kim namjoon

Namjoon had been an idol for long enough to know when someone was obviously staring at him out in public.

And you had been with him for long enough to know when he was uncomfortable. He constantly shifted in his seat, glanced around and nervously bounced his leg up and down.

Eventually you reached over the table and put your hand over this, “Come on. Let's ask them if they can fill our drinks in take-away cups and go home.”

You had wanted to enjoy the possible last peaceful coffee shop date that you could have before your daughter would be born, but when married to Kim Namjoon, a peaceful date outside was almost never an option. And normally, when it had been only him and you, he hadn't minded as much. But now he was scared for his child.

And as soon as the two of you got up, his biggest fear became reality, when a girl walked by and spilled her – thankfully – cold coffee on you. More specifically, on your baby bump. Accidentally, as she tried to make you two believe, but you knew better.

Even more so when she started bowing, apologized and then immediately wanted to rub over your baby bump with tissues to clean your clothes.

Namjoon was alert in an instant, but you were faster and grabbed the wrist of the girl, smiling at her, but your eyes were so dangerous that the girl gulped down.

“Thank you, but I'll do that myself.”

“I..- I only..-”

“I said I can do it myself,” you grabbed your bag and then Namjoon's hand, “Let's just go home.”

Sometimes he forgot just how much of a mother you already were before your baby was even born. 

Nobody like that was allowed to touch your baby, not now and not ever.

park jimin

Jimin had been so naive to think that the pregnancy would be a peaceful one for you. He had let his guard down after month seven, after nothing bad or weird having happened.

And that was a huge mistake.

You were due in a few weeks and he wanted you two to have one final romantic night out before the baby would be born, meaning dinner in the restaurant of your choice, then going for a walk at the Han River, then going home and.. well..

But your night was cut short when you couldn't even make it to the restaurant. As soon as Jimin had parked the car and helped you out, a swarm of fans, which were sasaengs through and through, because they were the only ones who could have found out where you'd be eating tonight, came running to you.

He realized it in time, managed to push you back into the car before their grabby hands could touch your baby bump and managed to push all of them back enough to shut the car door.

Their attention shifted from you to him and they all started to touch him and pull on his clothes. He tried to push them away from him so that he could go around the car and get in himself, but there were simply too many.

All the while, you were sitting in the car, desperately banging on the window and begging them to stop, trying to open the door to help your husband, but he was blocking it from getting opened.

There was no way he’d let you back out there.

You reached into your purse and wanted to call the police, but since you were in an underground parking lot, your phone didn't have any service.

At that point, you were sobbing your eyes out because of how scared you were for Jimin, but then someone from the building, maybe guests of one of the restaurants or people that worked there, saw what was happening and helped Jimin pull the girls away from him, one after the other. 

They told him to get in the car and he did so without hesitation, reversing and then driving away without looking back, eternally grateful for these kind strangers.

“It's okay,” he tried to calm you down while driving away.

But it wasn't okay. Not when he had scratches on his face and hands, not when he was close to tears himself.. not when you realized all that stress caused you to suddenly go into labor. 

kim taehyung

This day had started out so well.

The weather was so perfect that Taehyung and you had spontaneously decided to go on a little road trip.

With you having passed the worst of your pregnancy phase and being able to actually walk and eat without throwing up every hour, it was now the perfect opportunity to just drive around and find a really cute spot to hang out, maybe have a picnic or coffee/tea.

But you should have guessed that it wasn't as easy as that, because Taehyung's super hardcore fans had never been ones to just leave him alone.

You had been driving for a while and you had become thirsty, so the two of you had searched for a very cute café and found one that was so aesthetically pleasing that you forgot about your surroundings for a second and just.. enjoyed it. Like every other normal human being would.

Your husband had gone inside to grab the drinks, so he wasn't there to stop what was happening.

“What the hell?!” you instantly pushed the chair back when you saw a hand reach down to your belly to touch it, then jumped up, “What do you think you're doing?!”

Unfortunately, there weren't too many people around to help you, only an elderly man and a young couple that, by the looks of it, hadn't even graduated high school. They wouldn’t be much help.

“Please, we just want to touch it. This is from Taehyung, directly from him, we just..-”

“I'm going to give you a fair warning,” your husband pushed himself between you and the girls, pointing his finger at one of the girls chest, “You come this close to my wife or child again, I will call the police and I'll make sure that your future is ruined. Do you understand?”

“But..-”

“No. No but. There is a line and you just crossed it. So this is my final warning. Leave now, or I'll call the police.”

The two girls glanced to the side to find the shop owner already standing there with her phone, ready to call the police if Taehyung said so.

You doubted that people like that had much planned for their future, but the threat of police and a possible lawsuit involving thousands, if not millions, if Taehyung had his way, scared them enough for them to scurry away.

You only allowed yourself to breathe again when they were out of sight, your husband immediately cupping your face and checking to see if you were harmed.

“I'm fine,” you shook your head a little, “I'm fine.”

“Shit,” he pulled you against him and kissed the top of your head, “I'm so sorry, (Y/N). I'll be more careful from now on.”

jeon jeongguk

This had been a massive scandal from the get-go. Not only were you and Jeongguk not married when rumors started to form that you were pregnant, but he was also 'way too young' to have a kid now and 'not in the right place in life yet' to be a father.

BigHit had kept quiet through it all, knowing that those weren't just rumors that people spewed, but the truth.

You were indeed pregnant. An accidental pregnancy that had shocked you and your boyfriend to the core, but after countless of nights crying and worrying, you've not just accepted it, but were looking forward to your baby.

The first few months were easy, a comeback had overshadowed the rumors and whenever they were doing interviews, BigHit made sure to tell the journalist not to ask any personal questions, or they'd be kicked out of the panels – they really had no mercy in that sense.

But there came a point where you just couldn't hide it anymore, unless you were to stay at home every single day till the day of the delivery.

And well, you didn’t.

You waited until Jeongguk was gone to leave, knowing that it'd be easier if it were just you, had taken precautions and worn a hat and a face mask... but these sasaengs, man.

You couldn't take fifteen footsteps until you heard screaming from a distance and a group of seven people charging at you with their phones up in the air, ready to take photos of your baby bump and expose it to the world.

Since you were still close to the entrance of your neighborhood, the security guard reacted perfectly, grabbed you by your upper arms and pulled you back in, closing the gate to Hannam Hill just in time and turned you around so that the girls wouldn't see your baby bump properly.

They were left standing and screaming at the fence, reaching through it like crazy zombies.

Rather scary, actually.

“You need to be careful, Ms. (Y/L/N),” the security guard warned as he walked you back to your apartment, “You can't just go out like this without precautions.”

“I just wanted to buy something for the baby,” you said sadly with slumped shoulders, “They have this limited Disney collection at Spao.. I just wanted to get something for my daughter.”

He let out a heavy sigh and watched you enter the building extremely upset.

Maybe it wasn���t his place, but when Jeongguk came home that night, he told him about the incident, wanting to make sure that he’d talk to you and make you understand that you couldn’t just go out like that without some sort of security.

And well, let’s just say Jeongguk’s father side really jumped out that night. He had you sit down on the couch and lectured you for nearly an hour without you saying a word.

[heyitsyn]

Prince Iwa-Chan

Oikawa!Sister x Iwaizumi Hajime

a/n: it aggravates me that my mans bara-arms-iwa-chan is so UNDERRATED!!!!

requests open!!

like look mom, im in love

ofc youre an oikawa

tbh, i dont think iwa wouldve been comfortable w you when yall first met

lets say youre a year younger than tooru

its a well-known fact that theyve been friends since they were really young so you, being oiks’ baby sister, was also part of your little trio

like lets say they met when they were 6

that would make you about 5

since yall have an older sister, you were exposed to the girly girl stuff like dolls and princesses

ngl, tooru was too thats why hes so flamboyant

but seems his fashion style refutes that

ya didnt hear that from me

anyways

tooru had already developed a deep fascination w volleyball bc he saw it being played during the 2000 summer olympics

but you remained w your sister and continued letting her treat you like a princess

im not really sure how old his sister is but lets say she was about around middle school when you were 5-6

however, tooru still made you play w him even though you didnt know how but you didnt care bc you were close w your brother so you would play ball w him

then came along iwaizumi hajime that tooru met from school

he found out that this boy also liked volleyball and tooru yeeted them both home so they could go and play at the back yard

you peeked from your window and you just thought iwa was the most handsome boy youve ever met

ofc, you just bolted down the stairs to where your brother and his friend was

oiks saw you standing by the door w a red face and him, being still a child and not understanding crushes, thought you were sick

he went to you and beckoned hajime to follow him inside

tooru sat you down and asked if you were okay but you just kept staring at hajime

he figured that you were just confused as to who this person was

‘oh! iwa-chan! this is my little sister, y/n! y/n, this is my classmate, iwaizumi hajime!’

cue iwa hitting him at the head

‘i can introduce myself perfectly fine, bakakawa!’

iwaizumi hajime,,,

iwaizumi hajimeee,

iwaizumi y/n

that thought made you turn even redder and you squealed in embarrassment before running back to your room

lmao what

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

he be getting the oikawas though

iwa was actually concerned but oiks waved it off

‘don’t worry, iwa-chan. shes weird like that. lets go toss the ball!’

so that was kinda how he met you

now, since hajime basically lived in your house by how much him and your brother hung out, youve slowly mellowed out and gotten to be friends w him

despite your hatred w bugs, you still went w them to explore just bc you wanted to be around hajime

lmao tooru youre now irrelevant

hajime didnt mind and he always made sure you were okay with the adventures of the day

even though you were only like a year younger, he cant help but baby you bc of your much smaller height than him and overall cute baby face

one day, they both came home from school all sweaty bc they raced home

‘iwa-chan! you can settle in the living room while i go shower!’

‘don’t call me iwa-chan, bakakawa!’

‘then stop calling me that!’

he sat down on the couch and started doing his homework when he heard you come home from school

lmao how do little japanese kids go back and forth from school to home at the age of 6

idek how to cross the street

‘tadaima’

‘oh, okaeri, y/n’

you perked up at his voice and you ran to the living room, seeing him

‘iwa-chan!’

he grunted and you threw yourself to him in a hug

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

part 2

tbh it doesnt even faze him anymore since you do this to him every time

he continues doing homework and just wraps one arm around you and starts patting your head

‘tooru-nii?’

‘shower’

‘okay’

then silence

but its the good kind of silence

you and iwa just sit there with you snuggled up on him while he continues to add numbers

then it was ruined

by the pterodactyl oikawa tooru who comes flying down the stairs and glomps on to iwa’s other side

‘y/n-chan! stop hogging iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine, tooru-nii!!’

you pout while iwa turns and gives him a glare

‘shut up, bakakawa! and stop calling me that!’

‘aahh!! you were mine first, iwa-chan!’

‘i was never yours! be quiet!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine forever! we’re going to get married so butt out, nii-chan!’

‘HAH?!’

once everything calms down, yall actually start your homework and work

‘anything happen today, y/n-chan?’

oikawa always asked that question bc he believes its his duty as older brother to be caught up in your life

thats actually annoying bruv

‘hmm, me and the girls in my class were playing princess tea party today and a boy asked to be my prince.’

‘WHAT!’

oikawa is 7 now and he faintly has an idea about crushes and his father made him promise that he would protect you from nasty boys

‘calm down, bakakawa’

iwa mumbled, continuing his homework but also paying attention

‘WHAT!? NO! WHATD YOU SAY, Y/N-CHAN! YOUR BROTHER IS THE ONLY PRINCE YOU NEED!’

‘i told him i already have a prince’

oikawa was so smug and crossed his arms

‘hm, serves them right-’

‘prince iwa-chan and i are going to get married and live in a castle so there’s no room for anybody else’

iwa had to double check and turned red really fast

like who was this iwa-chan

wait, what his name?

his name has iwa in it

is he iwa-chan?

y/n’s prince iwa-chan?

was he really iwa-chan?

‘NO! YOUR NII-SAN IS YOUR PRINCE! IWA-CHAN CAN BE YOUR KNIGHT OR SOMETHING! BUT IM YOUR PRINCE!’

you glared at tooru and shook your head

‘no. iwa-chan is my prince’

you were so shamless about this fact

lmao i want your confidence

from then on, youve called iwa as your prince

like his name on your phone is literally prince iwa-chan

then when you were in middle school, you’ve started calling iwa as haji-senpai

there wasnt even a large event that spawned this

well,,, actually,,

youve noticed that iwa hated the nickname ‘iwa-chan’ a lot and he hit tooru many times bc of it so you stopped calling him that bc you didnt want him to be mad at you

so you started calling him senpai bc he was technically an upperclassman

when you first called him this, iwa was lowkey shook

‘haji,,,, senpai?’

you nodded from your spot on the couch, not looking up from your homework

‘see? i can only call iwa-chan, iwa-chan! OOF!’

that was iwa hitting tooru at the face with his pencil case

‘y/n, you dont have to call me that. we’ve known each other since we were little so you dont have to call me by an upperclassman term’

you shrugged

‘i know. but you dont like it when you’re called iwa-chan, do you?’

‘not if it’s by this trash’

he jutted a thumb to the fallen tooru

‘so,,,, iwa-chan is fine?’

your eyes sparkled at the permission of being able to freely call him that without worry

he gulps at your face and turns away to hide his red face before nodding

‘my prince iwa-chan!’

‘no! my iwa-chan!’

‘shut up shittykawa!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

keeping up with the oikawas

this nickname will forever be stuck

since you went to the same middle school, you were known to be around your brother and iwa and even staying behind for practice to walk home w them

it became a bit of a joke to the team of you picking up your prince

one day, a teammate called iwa, ‘prince iwa-chan’ and he almost busted a fuse

was ready to square up bc only his babie can call him that

but when you came through the door

‘prince iwa-chan! your princess is here!’

he turned all soft and squishy and pats your head so gently that they couldnt believe this is the same boy who is the ace

you were interested in volleyball so you were kinda friends w the team but you didnt really care for the sport, mainly focusing on your academics

thats how it really was for you three

they focused on sports while you studied

oh my here comes highschool

oikawa and iwa were already known throughout the FREAKING PREFECTURE bc of how TALENTED THEY ARE AT VOLLEYBALL

and you were already known by your pretty face and your cute personality

basically genderbent oikawa

and just wanted to stop you from reading by telling you that you are beautiful and you are a KWEEN and you are a GODDESS and confidence is the most beautiful thing to wear and best of all, it’s free!!

ofc, youd have to go to aoba johsai bc your brother was there

‘y/n-chan! you need to go where your brother is! you love him, don’t you?’

‘sure, tooru’

you actually went to seijoh bc you would see iwa 

you didnt hear that from me

your first day, boys (and gals) were already flocking towards you when they saw you walking with iwa and tooru

still being the overprotective brother since day1, oikawa was just snarling at anyone getting close to his baby sister

lmao what baby

hes only like a year older

but iwa was being terrirorial protective bc he finds it as an obligation as tooru’s best friend and your childhood friend

when oiks wasn’t paying attention and being drowned by his fangirls, iwa was your bodyguard

there was this one boy who started walking towards you as yall were going to your class but hajime placed an arm around your waist and pulled you closer

‘oh? i’m only at the first floor, iwa-chan. don’t get all clingy now’

lmao, girl hes trying to show that boy that hes your unofficial mans and will cut off his family jewels if he tries to even BREATHE in your direction

umm,,, iwa’s not yandere in this one yall

iwa just rolls his eyes and makes you walk forward until yall are at your door

‘i’ll see you later, iwa-chan!’

‘yea yea. i’ll pick you up’

he starts to walk down the hallway but you poke your head back out and shout

‘i miss you already, prince iwa-chan!’

he turns red all over and freezes for a 0.0002 seconds before raising a hand without turning around

now ladies and genitals

this is when iwa-chan starts to catch feelings like he catches them spikes

your cute smling face and saying his dumb nickname that he actually loves was like a recipe for a stroke for him

it has come to the point at the mere thought of you would make him all flustered and red

it tripled over when this happened:

puberty was kinda late for you and you actually just woke up looking like a goddess one day and you were like, lmao what

your chest just ballooned up and your height just skyrocketed that your skirt was now very short

ew i dont know what i would do in this situation

you were self-conscious about this and was kinda scared 

obvs, you would scream for your mother and she and your father and brother bolts up to your bedroom thinking there was a whole michael meyers in your room

but when you explained that your uniform doesnt fit anymore, she starts making appointments to get you fitted for another one

but you had to wait for a few days

so you went to school looking like a whole snacc

more of a snacc than you did before

when iwa saw you, he had a literal nosebleed in the middle of campus and runs to the bathroom to get all cleaned up

why in the name of asahi do you look like that?!

when you saw your prince look at you in horror and run away, you cried

you were already very self-conscious and him doing that just topped the cake

cake that tooru doesnt have

oop imsorry

tooru reassures you that he had a nosebleed and he was just sick and ran to not get any blood on his clothes

but you just walked away with your head down low

it didnt matter to you if this caught all the student body’s attention

that their precious oikawa y/n, little sister of the oikawa tooru, was a walking perfection goddess Venus

all that you cared about was iwa’s opinions bc he was your prince and your best friend

girl, accept that you actually like the mans

this was the worst day of your entire life and you went straight to your locker to get your gym clothes out and wear it for the day

it was tight but at least it covered skin

and it still attracted enough attention to be catcalled and whistled at

it felt violating

the entire morning, there was more attention and more people flocked over to you and guys were staring at you as if you were a piece of meat, not a girl

‘harry potter is a boy! not a piece of meat!’

sorry i cant help it

you were so uncomfortable that you called your brother during lunch time to come pick you up for lunch bc you were too scared to walk alone after being catcalled during your walk to your class

tooru sends out iwa to go help you as an apology from this morning and he just runs to your class bc you were in trouble and he was going to protect you!!

go iwa-chan!

he finds you sitting on your chair, looking down at your desk as there seemed to be boys piled up on top of each other, trying to get your attention

first world problems, amirite

‘OI!’

that angry grunt but at 2x bass boosted

hearing his voice, you were still embarrassed from earlier but you were so relieved

‘iwa-chan!’

iwa pushes people away and he grabs your hand to pull you up before wrapping an arm around your waist, protectively

‘if i see you idiots making her uncomfortable or even trying to touch her, i will destroy you’

protection and the feeling of safety is my fave

he leads you out of there to the stairway where him and his teammates were eating

he held your hand tightly and you squeezed it, trying to show that you were grateful

even if they were still male, your brother was there and if something happened, they were both strong enough to take them on

besides, its just mattsun and maki anyways

tooru saw you and he hugged you before leading you to the 2 others

‘guys, this is y/n, my sister. that’s mattsun and that’s makki.’

you slightly smiled and raised a hand in greeting

‘yo’

‘hello’

to be safe, iwa made you sit a step down from him so that if something happens, he could protect you

idk how but you do you boo

‘i can protect her too, iwa-chan!’

‘shut up, shittykawa. youre literally sticks and bones’

‘so mean! iwa-chan, you’re so mean!’

you giggled, head leaning down to rest on iwa’s right thigh since you were full and tired and he runs his hand through your hair

mattsun and makki shared a look before asking

‘are you dating our ace, y/n-chan?’

at the mention of dating, you both turned red and you sat up

‘OF COURSE NOT, MATTSUN, MAKKI!’

iwa shouts but his red face and ears betrayed him

‘iwa-chan grew up with us so he’s naturally like that. we’ve adopted him into our family!’

oikawa explained but you looked at him and he gave you a knowing look

oh he noticed everything

the lingering looks during practice

the bashful smiles during hang outs at home

unnecessary touches during the walk to school

oikawa may be annoying but he’s observant and he is smart

after that fiasco, the two boys were a little wary of letting you walk home alone so iwa offered to take you since he was already making more progress and didnt need extra practice while tooru wanted to practice more

‘iwa-chan, can we go to your house this time?’

he turned to look at you curiously since you never ask to go to his place

‘i miss your mom and ive been meaning to go visit her. so can we, iwa-chan?’

you squeezed his hand and showcased your pleading look making him agree

‘fine’

his house wasn’t a frequently hung out spot since your house was closer but you were still familiar with his home since his mother was fond of you

‘tadaima’

mama iwaizumi peaked from the kitchen and greeted him home before squealing at the sight of the youngest oikawa

‘oh my, y/n-chan! hello!’

‘hello, auntie!’ 

she gave you a big hug and you returned it with a laugh

iwa just standing there to the side with a smile bc his mom approves so all is good in life

‘you’ve grown so much, y/n-chan! so much prettier too!’ you turned bashful at her compliments.

then she leaned forward to whisper in your ear but made her voice loud

‘say, has my son finally ask you to be his girlfriend?’

omg mama iwaizumi really ships it

iwa turns red and complains to his mom about being in his business too much

‘don’t be so timid, hajime! y/n-chan could be taken from under your nose any minute now!’

‘dont you think i know that’ he mumbles but very lowly so that no one hears him

but you decide to tease him more

‘no. but i’m waiting for it. i’ll tell you once he does, auntie!’

fed up with the teasing, he grabs you and drags you up to his room to change into comfortable clothing

you sit on his bed while he rummages through his closet for a sweatshirt and sweatpants

‘here! change into these!’ he shouts, still flustered and refusing to look at your eyes

youre an oikawa and you lived to tease so you stood up, tossing the clothes to the side and wrapping your arms around his neck

ooo gurl you want iwa to die today, don’t you?

he gets even redder and scowls

‘oi, y/n, what are you doing’

you shook your head

‘nothing. i just miss my prince iwa-chan. you were so brave for saving me today, prince iwa-chan’

the nickname used to not affect him that much but now, he watches the it fall from your cherry lips

‘say my name’

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘iwa-chan?’

he gently shakes his head no

‘my real name’

‘iwaizumi hajime’

you say, distracted at the way his mouth moves

‘and what’s yours?’

‘iwaizumi y/n’

you breathed out

he growls softly before taking your sinful lips

wowza jesus took the wheel bc he stepped on that pedal

we going straight 100 mph up in this bih

iwa really said, ‘skip the confession. imma go straight for my babie girl’s lips. also, proposal who? let’s go get married in vegas!’

it wasnt even been literally 15 minutes until you came bounding the stairs wearing hajime’s signature grey hoodie with his seijoh sweatpants and calling for your auntie to announce you were now dating are going to get married

‘WHAT!?’ 

she screams and comes running from the kitchen, holding a ladle

you flashed a grin while iwa shows a small smile with red cheeks from behind you before telling you that you were both too young to get married

‘i told ya you would be the first to know’

after dinner, you call your brother and hes like, ‘okay, since you’re not at home i’m assuming youre at iwa’s’

‘omgomgomg, nii-chan! i just had dinner with my boyfriend’s family! they accepted me!’

‘BOYFRIEND?! DOES IWA-CHAN KNOW!? HOW COULD YOU BREAK HIS HEART?!’

oikawa just has that special type of voice that even without being on speaker phone, it sounds like he is

iwa laughs at his friend’s worried questions

‘better hand over your princess to the prince, grand king’

oikawa screamed

i hope i did my mans justice 

[local-ground-apple]

May I request scenarios of Diasomnia and Pomefiore taking care of their child s/o? Sort of similar to the one you did for when Silver, Rook, Kalim etc being turned into children ❤️❤️❤️

Hope you will enjoy it~! ❤️❤️❤️

🐲 Malleus thought nothing could surprise him anymore in his long life, yet when he saw your small form, he had to admit he hasn’t expect you to turn into a child anytime soon,

🐲 tries and will find a solution quicker than Crewel or Crowley,

🐲 at first, Malleus is lost. The whole situation is new to him and he doesn’t really know how he should take care of you or what he could be doing with you, until you get back to your normal form,

🐲 he did ask Lilia for help,

,,Y’N, what would you want to do?” ,,You’re a prince” “Yes, indeed” “Teach me how to dance”

🐲 Malleus furrowed his eyebrows, a bit taken aback with your sudden request, but soon a soft smile graced his lips. You were truly adorable as a child and he absolutely wouldn’t refuse you anything,

🐲 needless to say, you stomped on his feet a lot,

🐲he carries you on his shoulders almost all the time and you refuse to get down from them. You just wanted to touch his horns, but you really liked the feeling of being so tall and the view up there was truly amazing, 

🦇 the only one who actually knows what he’s doing,

🦇 at first, Lilia gets a bit emotional, as all those fond memories he had created with Silver when he used to be a child flooded him. You two ended up looking at pictures from Silver’s childhood, 

🦇 won’t stop cooing how adorable you are and he will certainly take a million of pictures much to your dismay (enough to create a whole album just with the photos from two days you spent as a child)

🦇 Lilia saw this a perfect opportunity to cook especially for you. Before this ancient fae burnt a whole kitchen down or accidentally poisoned you, Silver appeared with edible food and saved you from Lilia’s questionable dishes,

🦇 you had a lot of fun with Lilia, since you two organised a sleepover. Eating pizza, building a pillow fort, eating unhealthy ammounts of sweets, pranking Sebek - you truly had the best time of your life and you two even invited Malleus to join you (Silver fell asleep halfway through). 

🦇 fun ended when you told a “spooky” story and Lilia being Lilia decided to pull some ancient, fae book with terrifying stories that made Silver suddenly more than awake,

🦇 needless to say, you, Silver, Malleus and even Sebek ended up sleeping all together in the pillow fort with Lilia that night, refusing to turn off the light,

⚔️ Silver refused to let you touch his sword. Actually he hides it before you, so you won’t get hurt by accident. He hides everything that is sharp,

,,No, Y/N, you’re not going to climb that horse” “But, we always go horse-riding on Tuesdays!” “Yes, when you’re an actual adult”

⚔️ so instead you decided to go to sleep, 

⚔️ you both spend a lot of time napping together. Lilia often sees you two sleeping peacefully underneath a tree in the forest, while animals are all around Silver who has clovers in his hair (all thanks to you)

,,Can I braid your hair?” “...” “please?” *sigh* “Yes, sure”

⚔️ your braiding-hair skills certainly got better, even Vil would be impressed,

⚔️ when he’s asleep, you often sketch Silver trying to capture his beauty. Lilia finds your drawings purely adorable and he always coos how cute you are. Of course, Silver has no clue that you have a whole stash of drawing of him and you wish to keep it that way,

⚔️ Lilia of course offers his help, even if it mostly consists of him telling you all the embarrassing stories from Silver’s childhood

⚡ panics on the inside and on the outside. Can’t and won’t calm down anytime soon,

⚡Sebek hides any dangerous weapon from you and tries to babyproof the house as much as possible,

⚡tries to be quieter with you, as Sebek thinks children generally aren’t fond of loud sounds (oh how wrong was he). Somehow you managed to be louder than him, when you decided to throw a tantrum, 

⚡takes you with him literally everywhere. May it be his sword training, actual classes or just his night patrol, Sebek refuses to leave you unattended,

⚡ you ask him to read you and he gladly complies. Sebek switches from actual history textbooks to some fairytales, but you don’t mind this duality. Just hearing his soft voice reading you something before sleep is more than enough to calm you and lull you,

⚡you often fall asleep in his lap, 

💜a child, huh? Something truly unexpected. Vil is the first one to put his initial shock and disbelief aside and he immediately starts working on potion to turn you into adult again. He really wants to dedicate himself to it and at first Vil is engrossed in his work,

💜at first. Soon, you get rather bored and you begin to disturb him. Vil wanted to yeet you to Rook, he truly did, so he could focus on making a potion for you. Yet, after certain hunter told him for the umpteenth time that professor Crewel is taking care of it, he started considering taking a break,

💜your absolutely adorable puppy eyes finally convinced Vil to spend some time with you,

,,Can I style your hair?” “Absolutely no” “Please?” “I said no, but we can throw a small fashion show, hm?

💜 you two throw a small fashion show, but perhaps, a raid on Vil’s closet would be a more appropriate word. You tried a lot of his clothes and Vil taught you how to do poses,

💜 you two sneaked out to Heartslabyul to taste some strawberry tarts baked by Trey (even though Vil certainly was on a diet),

🏹 oh là, là. Room won’t shut up about how cute you are. He constantly coos how lovely you are. You quickly get tired of this bullshit,

,,Could you stop!” “My, my, mon lapin, tu est trop mignon~!”

🏹 Rook lets you style his hair,as well as wear his hat, 

🏹takes you on his regular Leona-watching-from-the-bushes-event and you enjoy your new, stalkerish role perhaps a bit too much,

🏹Rook obviously refused to take you hunting, yet you followed him either way and you ended up convincing him not to kill a hare, but to adopt him,

🏹 Vil certainly wasn’t pleased when you showed up with a hare named “Five” 

🏹 your puppy eyes and pouting face is enough to persuade Rook to do whatever you wish. Literally, he won’t be able to refuse you 

🏹Vil told him not to give you any sweets, but one look of your puppy eyes and Rook is melting. He will sneakily give you chocolate when Mr.Schoenheit is not looking,

🍏 Epel has absolutely no clue how to take care of you. Absolutely, he’s just lost, 

 🍏 but he tries his best to keep you from dangerous, sharp things that may result in you hurting yourself,

,,I’m not a baby, I can slice the bread myself” “Y’N, you’re literally a child”

🍏 however, Epel let you help him bake some apple cookies and you two ended up having a flour fight (yes, you started it on purpose), 

🍏 you two become partners in crime. Sneaking out at the evening to Savanaclaw, eating snacks past bedtime, violating practically every, single rule Vil imposed on you two and finally raiding Rook’s stash of sweets - there’s just plenty of things you both managed to do together, 

🍏 Epel plays a loooooot of board games with you - literally every, single game he managed to find in Pomefiore, while you both sip on hot chocolate with marshmallows,

🍏 he is elated, when you turn to your original form. Sure, he had a lot of fun taking care of child version of you, yet he much more prefers your older self (mostly because he can finally kiss you)

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Headcanon for Being the Gen Z Child of Dean, Sam, & Cas

TW/CW: Gen Z humor should be a warning in and of itself lol but basically just dark humor and mention of getting bitten by a monster.

Requested?: Yes, another amazing request from @princesswagger17 , “Can you maybe do a headcannon for Sam and Dean and maybe Cas too for what it would be like to be thier Gen Z kid?”

A/N: As an older Gen Z I hope I did this justice lol. Requests are open! Hope everyone is well, love to all!

Dean:

    - If there’s anything you and Dean have in common it’s your pop culture references. Unfortunately, you guys don’t always get each other’s references.

      *Loud noise comes from the door of the bunker being slammed shut which interrupts your and Dean’s conversation about an older pop culture reference he made that you didn’t get*

      You: *already on edge* Stooooop I could’ve dropped my croissant!

      Dean: *utterly confused* You’re not even holding a croissant??

      You: Okay, Boomer. *laughs all the way back to your room*

    - You: *walks in on Dean and Sam arguing about whether you pour the milk in the bowl before the cereal*

      Dean: Ah my favorite offspring, (you started this ongoing joke a while ago) you know the correct way to pour your bowl of cereal is by pouring the milk first and then the cereal right?

      You: First of all, I’m your only offspring. Second, you guys use milk with your cereal? I’ve been using bleach.

      Dean & Sam: *Concerned™*

    - Dean always feels a mixture of concern and “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” when you mention that you’re running on “like three hours of sleep, no will to live, and two burgers.”

    - You: *bursts into the room carrying your phone* Dad! Dad! I have tea! I have scalding hot tea!

      Dean: What? Well, don’t be running with it you’ll spill it and burn yourself. *Looks up finally* (Y/N), you don’t have tea. You have your phone.

      You: *facepalms* No look, *shows him some news article that he would find fascinating on your phone*

      Dean: How is that tea?

      You: I’m surrounded by idiots.

      Dean: Did you just quote Scar from Lion King?

      You: Sure did. That guy is such a mood.

    - You: *drops your last fry on the floor of the diner* Well fuck me, might as well go yeet myself off a bridge.

      *Sometime Later*

      You: *gets bitten by a monster* *in a light and calm voice* Oh look at that, I’ve been impaled.

      Dean: *While racing over to help you fight off the other monsters* What the hell, (Y/N)! You drop a fry on the ground and act like it’s the end of the world but get bitten by a monster and it’s just a minor inconvenience?

Sam:

    - Sam: *starts freaking out because you got hurt on a case or something*

      You: Woah Dad, why are you panicking? This isn’t a disco.

      Sam: *rolls his eyes at your ability to avoid the seriousness of the situation with humor*

      Dean: *somewhere off to the side while hacking some monster in two* damn right this isn’t a disco. Wouldn’t be caught dead at one.

    - *during a case and you guys finally find out what the culprit is*

      You: Alright, we know what this thing is, how do we yeet this bitch from existence?

      Sam & Dean: *dumbfounded*  

      Sam: Did they just say yeet? What is yeet?

      Dean: Idk do you think it’s like yet but with an extra e?

      You: Okay Boomers.

    - Every now and then when you and Sam are researching for a case, you’ll send him a bunch of links for different articles and hide a rick roll link in there just for fun. He doesn’t find it very funny but Dean always laughs his ass off.

   - *you, Sam, and Dean are all driving along a country highway or something*

      You: *as you all pass a pond with ducks and geese surrounding it* Look at all those chickensssss.

      Sam: *double takes to make sure he saw correctly that those are in fact geese and ducks* (Y/N), are you feeling alright? Those aren’t chickens.

      You: Ugh, Boomer.

Cas:  

    - Cas: *opens a door and almost hits you with it* Oh (Y/N), I’m so sorry!

      Dean: Wow Cas, watch out you could’ve killed her.

      You: *blankest face possible* I wish...

      Cas & Dean: *concerned Dad noises*

    - Cas found your constant use of finger guns amusing and has also started doing it much to the annoyance of Sam & Dean.

    - Cas is often confused of your use of different terms such as mood, oof, same, etc. He was not aware that an apple rolling off the table was among the range of humans' moods and emotions.

    - Cas: Okay, it’s my turn for a supply run. Does anyone need anything?

      You: A will to live would be nice but I hear those are in short supply lately so I’ll settle for a case of Monster Energy drinks.

      Cas & Sam: *concerned af*

      Dean to Cas: *straight face* That’s a mood, I’ll take a case too but make mine beer.

      Dean to You: Is that how you use that word? Did I do that right?

      You: *high fives Dean* Sure did! Nice execution.

Masterlist

Everything Taglist:

Dean Winchester Taglist: @akshi8278​

Sam Winchester Taglist:

Castiel Taglist:

[robbiedaymonds]

3x04 madwife analysis (aka freakout)

So when I started watching s3, I decided to only watch Laura’s scenes for many reasons. I didn’t exactly like any Madwife references beyond the first episode and I wasn’t expecting anything big.

But boy was I wrong as fuck!

I realized, before I started writing this, that we’ve gotten a lot of Madwife in s1 and s2, but almost all of it was from Sweeney’s PoV right? His feelings, his yearnings, his puppy-dog eyes. And now, we’re seeing Madwife from Laura’s point of view and the angst is overwhelming.

Let’s begin.

First off, it seems like Laura gave up the coin and went to purgatory/hell to try to find Sweeney right? At least, once she realized in 3x03 what was going on, she changed her tune. She talked to that old lady about Sweeney. She hilariously brushed off any sort of “relationship” between the two of them in a laughable, memeable way. 

And then my friends.....

the old lady says “You were just talking like maybe he’s someone special.”

And what happens? We see Laura, looking mournful and guilty even, and then...AND THEN! 

A MOTHER FUCKING MADWIFE MONTAGE OVER A ROMANTIC/ANGSTY SONG!!

I’m not even joking, I almost died. I was like “Am I really seeing this?! Is this really happening?!” And lord when I rewatched that part and listened to the lyrics, it hurt my god damn soul.

And then, Laura quickly changes her tune and tells the lady that no, he’s just the guy who killed her, but her face says otherwise.

Okay, BREATHE. Take a moment if you need to.

Second off, a small moment. Laura’s humming this tune that we heard in 3x03. Laura figures out the title is “Requiem of Balder”. !!! For those who don’t remember, Baldr is Odin’s son and briefly was mentioned in connection with Sweeney when he was doing his big battle as Lugh near the end of his life where he killed Baldr (or Odin), when he was talking to Mr. Ibis. This is cool because it not only links Laura with Odin and her destiny to kill him, but also Laura and Sweeney in a roundabout way.

Third, let’s just say, the moment I screamed and paused the show: the blood. Laura’s dust on the ground and some guys find Sweeney’s mutilated :( corpse. They take him away and the tomb he was laying on was covered in blood. His blood. One dude stays to clean it up and starts hosing it off which makes the blood start to slide down the sides of the tomb and what happens? The guy steps on the grigri potion that Samedi gave her to give her life.

And my friends, we watch with held breath as MAD SWEENEY’S BLOOD mixes with LAURA’S POTION and starts to glow with golden veins. And wouldn’t you know it, Laura gets yeeted out of purgatory and winds up, naked and alive, lying on the floor where the mixture had...mixed.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!

I know most of the fandom had this idea from s2 onward. Sweeney’s blood was the key to Laura’s potion. But the implications is that Sweeney had LOVE IN HIS VEINS because, remember Samedi said the final potion ingredient was two drops of blood infused with love. *SCREAMS* I can’t even eloquently say how much this destroyed me in a good and bad way. The fact that it meant Sweeney kept up his bargain: he was paramount in making Laura live again. T___T His love (whether it be specifically for her, or just his ability to love in general) was paramount in making her potion work.

The poetry of it is just unparalleled.

Okay so Laura wakes up and asks where Sweeney is (she uses his GOD DAMN NAME and let me tell you I just about ascended to the pearly gates myself) and is told he’s gone. Like...gone gone. The subtle emotions on her face are indescribable. She’s guilty and sad, there is grief and confusion there. She says it’s “her fault” that he’s dead and that she should have been able to bring him back, but couldn’t. She’s so damn sad, you can’t help but feel for her. I don’t know if “her fault” was because she ran him away after they had magic~sex~ with the Lao or because she couldn’t save him...maybe it was both. 

In any case, Laura facing her feelings and dealing with consequences of her actions and decisions is a big step for her. (Also can we celebrate that she’s alive again?! I hope she doesn’t squander this second chance, but I doubt she will. She has a plan and it’s to kill Wednesday so thank god.)

Also, we have Laura picking up Sweeney’s coin, which is, for once, covered in his blood rather than tucked away in her chest. That moment was sort of sweet and understated and I think will have something to do with Doyle finding her, but we’re not here to talk about that. The fact is, she didn’t leave it. She still has Sweeney’s coin, even after she willingly gave it to him.

Lastly, we find Laura eating, sitting in a cemetery. I feel like she’s at home in places of the dead now, even though she’s alive. I love the motif and the implications of what that means. Anyway, the guy brings over a box and in it is Sweeney’s ashes. Laura takes it almost delicately and we get some gorgeously  heartbreaking shots of her hands stroking the sides and we get the line “Somehow all of him fits in here.” RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON’T YOU. And then, as if I’m not in enough pain, they show another snippet of a flashback with that same ghostly romantic song, a shot of Sweeney sitting in that field. I think that’s important to note...THAT is the moment she thought of. When she was at her lowest and Sweeney told her to suck it up and keep fucking fighting, no matter what.

I think that says a lot in that moment. Now that Laura’s alive, she could easily return to a normal life, but that moment spoke a lot into her future. She’s going to keep on with her mission to kill Wednesday. Sweeney died trying to do the same and since she couldn’t save him, she’s going to kill the god instead.

And of course, there’s the symbolism of Laura being dropped off in the dark near a glowing hill. We know Laura always saw Shadow as a glow in her B&W dead vision right? So she’s standing there, glow in the distance....HUGGING THE BOX TO HER CHEST. She’s hugging Mad Sweeney to her chest, looking a little lost, just one sad girl trying to kill the Allfather, and she’s walking toward the light. OOF. It hurt big time, y’all. I can’t even.

Anyway, I feel like there may be a moment where Laura buries the box and officially says goodbye to Sweeney, but I also can’t help but think of all the emotional connection there is with the simple fact of her holding onto it. She could have dumped it into a river after she left the cemetery, but no she took it with her, her sole possession besides a golden god-coin, a box of ashes.

There’s a lot to unpack, and I haven’t even scratched the surface. I’m still digesting and I need time to process! Feel free to add your thoughts, let me know how y’all are doing. 

[gooddaykate]

You Ain’t Woman Enough

Frankie Morales x Reader

Word Count: just under 4400

Tags: Pining, Fake Dating because Frankie has an annoying coworker, cursing, my roughly unedited terrible writing, I don’t think there’s anything else?

A/N: Okay, y’all. I wrote a thing. It literally would not have been finished without the constant support of @rzrcrst​. I’m just going to put this here and yeet myself into the void. Let me know what you think. Or not, it’s whatever. Gif credit to @pascalplease​ (let me know if you don’t want your gif used, sweetie)

The bar was crowded and loud, but you still heard Frankie’s quiet curse as he pulled his cap further down over his eyes.

“You good, Frankie?” you asked with a nudge of your shoulder.

He huffed and curled in on himself more. “You remember me telling you about that girl I work with? The one who works the gate?”

How could you not? He had complained about Kelly almost as long as you’d known him. 

When Frankie and his baby girl had moved in next door six months ago, you were fast friends. He had moved to the Rockies to be closer to his parents. He got a job at the small airport to fly the puddle jumper planes for the celebrities that came and went in Aspen. It was easy to fall into a camaraderie with him, talking shit about the people who came to play in the ski town you both worked in. It was just the two of them, and it was easy to offer help. Whenever he needed someone to look after his baby, you were the first to step up. He was quiet and kind, and always willing to lend a hand in return. He’d helped fix leaky faucets and a broken water heater. You hadn’t shoveled your own drive since you’d started watching Rosie for him.

You’d lost track of the number of times the two of you had sat in one of your living rooms just talking after Rosie was down for the night. You quickly learned that you could trust each other with the truth, so you shared everything. You talked through your quiet fears together. He knew about your relationship with your family and how you felt you needed to be close enough that they could visit, but far enough that they wouldn’t. You’d learned about his brothers, Pope and Will and Benny, and his time in Delta Force and the ptsd that it had given him. He had held your hand when you told him about the college boyfriend you’d had, the one you still had an open order of protection against. He had told you about how he used to cope with the ptsd, how he’d lost his pilot’s license, and the divorce that came with. You were angry for him, but mostly Rosie, when he told you that her mom had decided she didn’t want anything to do with her, either, and left her at his friend’s place while he was out of the country. On one particularly quiet night, Frankie told you about another brother and a trip to South America and how nothing had gone like it was supposed to.

The two of you were as close as two friends could be. You didn’t have any secrets between you, apart from one. It was easy to fall for Frankie and Rosie both, and you knew you’d keep that to yourself for as long as you knew them.

Kelly was a constant talking point and source of frustration for Frankie. You had never met her, but to hear him talk about her was enough. She  asked him out every time she saw him and constantly touched his arms and back and shoulders. One time she even took his hat off and ran her fingers through his hair. When you asked him why he’d let her do that, he mumbled something about just letting it be and changed the subject. Most often, he would end his rant about her with a ‘this isn’t fucking Wings.’ You’d usually just smile and move on. But Frankie hadn’t talked about Kelly in a couple weeks.

You raised your eyebrow at him, and he pointed. “Blonde in the red sweater.”

“Oh, holy hell. That’s Kelly? Does she live in the village?”

“No! She lives down in Aspen.”

You watched her as she scanned the bar, presumably looking for an open spot. Sitting in the darkest corner table would hopefully be your saving grace. When she passed over a couple seats at the bar and a few empty tables, something occurred to you.

“You don’t think she came up this way just to find you, do you?”

“Knowing her, I wouldn’t put it past her. Fuck.” Frankie took a large breath in and started talking. “Look, there’s something I didn’t tell you. I was hoping it’d never come up, but here we are. I got her to stop asking me out a couple weeks ago by saying I had been seeing someone for the last six months. And I may have mentioned it was you because I’ve got pictures with you and it was easy. And I know this sucks because we’re friends and all, but if you could just, I don’t know, hold my hand until she leaves? Please?”

You were stunned silent for a moment, and he couldn’t meet your eyes. Before you could respond, Kelly’s eyes found Frankie and she started making her way over.

“Shit, she’s seen you.”

You leaned in and took his hand. “I’ve got you, Frankie,” you whispered as you brushed a chaste kiss across his cheek. “Whatever you need.”

He raised his desperate eyes to yours in a quiet thanks, and you tore yours away from him to watch Kelly walk to your table. She was conventionally beautiful, with long blonde hair falling in waves down her back. Her jeans were so tight they looked uncomfortable and the red sweater she wore was cut low enough that you knew it was never intended as anything heat retaining.

You turned back to find Frankie’s eyes on you, eyebrows pulled low in concern. Without thinking, you raised your free hand to his face and smoothed the crease between his eyebrows before bringing it back down and cupping his cheek.

“It’ll be fine, Frankie. What’re friends for?”

He didn’t get a chance to say anything before Kelly had draped herself over him, making you jump and move your hand away from his face.

“Oh my god, Francisco! I didn’t know you’d be here! What a coinkydink!” She gave him an exaggerated wink and moved her body away from him, but kept her hands around his bicep.

His whole body was tense and his tone was clipped when he responded.“Yeah, well, I told you I was getting drinks with my girlfriend tonight, and that’s why I couldn’t go out with you. This is one of very few options, Kelly.”

“Oh, right. Well who’s got little Rosalina tonight if your neighbor is here with you?”

“We got a sitter,” Frankie all but mumbled.

Her eyes widened. “Wow, it’s the royal we, now?” she asked with an air of mocking incredulity.

She still hadn’t looked at you, or even acknowledged that you were there, apart from her emphasis on knowing that you lived next door to him. You gave his hand a squeeze and spoke up.

“Has been for the last couple of months, actually.”

She finally turned to look at you, a purse on her lips and heavy disdain in her eyes. You flashed her a smile and introduced yourself.

She held her hand out loose and palm down, like she expected you to kiss it. “Kelly.”

You gripped her hand and gave it a firm shake. “Oh, I’m well aware. It’s good to put a face to the many stories I’ve heard.”

Kelly dropped your hand and draped herself across Frankie’s shoulder again, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

“Francisco! You talk about me at home? What does little Rosalina think?”

Frankie was three stages of red and trying to peel her off of himself, but she kept latching on. “Kelly, Rose isn’t even a year, she doesn’t think about you.”

She let him go and pouted, like she was the baby. “But if you talk about me-”

“I don’t talk to my daughter about you.”

You had to cover up your laugh with a startled cough. Kelly’s eyes turned to you as she sat down in the third chair at the table.

“So you’re the girlfriend, then?”

You laughed and squeezed Frankie’s hand. “Yeah, I guess you could call me that. I mean, he certainly does.”

“The prospect of seeing her makes it easy to get up in the morning.” He chuckled. “You know, besides having an infant in the house.”

Kelly hummed and rolled her eyes. “Right. So, Francisco, tell me, why is it just you and little Rosalina?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Kelly, that’s deeply personal and none of your business.”

Frankie brought you entwined hands up to kiss the back of yours. “That’s okay, cariño. I don’t mind.” He put your hands back on the table and turned to Kelly. “Her mom and I were in the process of getting divorced before Rosie was actually born. We just,” he trailed off and looked at you. You gave him a soft smile and squeezed his hand for him to continue. “We just weren’t right for each other. About a month after she was born, I took a trip to South America, and when I came back a week later, I found out that she decided she’d rather not be a mom, either. She left Rosie and the completed divorce paperwork with my buddy’s wife and took off. I haven’t actually seen or heard from her, since. After that, it was a stupidly easy decision to move back up here. My parents live in the village, so they could help out with their granddaughter and I’d have a support system that was more than a pair of brothers. One of whom beats people up for a living.”

He shrugged. “It was the best decision I could’ve made.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

He smiled. “I moved back to Colorado and found her.” He squeezed your hand again. “I wasn’t looking for it, but I fell in love again. I was lucky. And I couldn’t be more thankful for that.I love her almost as much as I love my daughter.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you had to remind yourself that this was for show. Obviously Frankie didn’t actually love you, he was just telling Kelly that he did. As far as she knew, you’d been dating for six months. Of course you would have said you loved each other.

You figured that it would be easiest to just give the partial truth, so you smiled. This was the easiest part you would ever have to play. “I’m definitely the lucky one. He moved in next door and it was completely impossible not to fall in love with them. I’m still sure that I’m going to wake up and it will all have been some kind of dream.”

Frankie turned to look at you, and the amount of love you could see in his eyes made you suck in a breath. “Te quiero con todo mi corazón.”

You knew you had to swallow down the emotion that brought up, but damn, if that didn’t bring butterflies to your stomach. It was just too much, having Frankie talk about your nonexistent romance. The feeling of his hand in yours, every brush of his leg, all the lovely words he used to describe a love you didn’t share. You just needed to get away for a moment.

“You’re the sweetest. Right. Excuse me for a minute.” You leaned over to kiss his cheek, and met Frankie’s eyes with a sad smile and a silent apology.

Once you pushed your way through the mass of people hovered by the bar, you leaned on the counter and looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror.

“What the hell am I doing? Why did I agree to that?” You hung your head low and let out a heavy sigh.

The door opened and the loud sounds from the bar interrupted your thoughts. When you straightened up to leave, you took one last look in the mirror and noticed Kelly standing behind you with her arms folded across her chest. When you made eye contact, a slow smile spread across her face. The look in her eyes made you shiver before you turned to face her.

She took a step closer. “Let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? I know you’re in love with Francisco.”

A startled laugh bubbled up out of your chest. It took a moment for you to respond because you weren’t sure if she was serious. “Of course I’m in love with Frankie. It would be impossible not to be completely in love with him and Rosie, both.”

Kelly raised one eyebrow and smirked before continuing. “Oh, I know that’s true. But I also know that you and Francisco aren’t actually dating. You’re just his neighbor and occasional babysitter. You can drop the act.”

You blinked in surprise, eyebrows shooting up your forehead. “Excuse me?”

“I know Francisco isn’t seeing you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not following. How’d you come to that conclusion?”

Her eyes still hadn’t left yours, and it seemed like she wasn’t even blinking. “You know, when Francisco first told me that he was dating you, I was massively jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a huff. “You don’t say.”

She ignored you and kept talking. “But I started watching him. I came up to Snowmass and asked around. I’ve watched the two of you together. I’ve seen you with Rosalina. I know you’re not a couple. I don’t know why Francisco thought he needed to make up some girlfriend and then pawn it off on someone who he clearly has no actual feelings for.”

You were horrified. “You’ve been watching him and Rosie?”

“Oh, I just needed to see who my Francisco was spending his time with. Now that I know that I don’t actually have to worry about him having feelings for you, he can go back to being my Francisco. I can’t believe you’re still carrying a torch for him when he clearly doesn’t care for you.” She backed away and looked down at her fingernails. “I mean, come on, you’ve clearly been in love with him for longer than I’ve been watching.”

Kelly’s face was smug, like she knew she was in your head. But you were focused on the more important part of her little speech.

You started out slow, to make sure she caught that you’d understood her. “So, just to be clear, you’re admitting to actively stalking Francisco Morales and his daughter.”

“What, that’s not-”

“That’s what you’ve just said. You said you started watching him. That you have watched his home, and his daughter, and who they’re spending time with. You’ve asked about him in the town that he lives in. You made a trip out of the way of where you live, just feign accidentally running into him and to corner me. Did you go to his house before you came here?”

“I am not stalking Francisco. That’s not what this is,” she spluttered.

“Oh? Then tell me exactly what this is, Kelly.”

She opened and closed her mouth like a fish, trying to come up with something. After a few moments of letting her flounder, she finally stepped forward and pointed her finger in your face.

“We work together! I’m not stalking Francisco! Even if that was true, you have no proof,” she seethed through clenched teeth.

A scary sort of calm washed over you. You had experience here. You could help Frankie and Rosie both.

“Get your finger out of my face, Kelly.” It took her a couple seconds, but she did drop her hand. If looks could kill, you’d have been dead three times.

“How careful were you to stay hidden when you were spying on Frankie’s home, Kelly?”

“That’s- I don’t-”

“That’s okay, Kelly. I have security cameras around my property. And we can certainly find testimony of the people you talked to. And I’m sure the airport staff would vouch for how uncomfortable you make Frankie on a daily basis. It’s easy enough to request a restraining order. Do you suppose that’s enough proof?”

Kelly’s eyes were wide and the fear you could see brought a slow smile to your face.

“We could probably even issue a protective order, since you have actually admitted to me, one of his child’s caregivers, that you’ve been actively stalking her and her father.”

Her eyes were panicked, and before anything else could be said, she was out the door. You took a deep breath and leaned back against the counter.

“What the fuck.”

A stall opened, and you startled. A young woman stepped out holding her phone. “I recorded that whole conversation. Do you want me to send it to you?”

Your brows furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

“I recorded what she was saying. Do you want me to send it to you?”

“Oh, uh,” you ran a hand down your face. “Yes, please. How much did you get?”

Her smile was sheepish when she handed you her phone. “Well, I hit record when she said she knew you were in love with him. I thought it was going to be a drunk girl confrontation that I could laugh about with my friends. Now I’m just kind of glad I’m a nosy bitch.”

You chuckled as you typed your number in. “No kidding. Thank you for having the insight to record, I guess. I don’t know what will come of it, but if he does decide to pursue something, we may need you to give some sort of statement.”

“All good. I figured. Just keep my number for if you need it.” She placed a hand on your shoulder and sent a comforting smile your way before leaving the bathroom.

You took a shaky breath and headed back to your table.

“What the hell did you say to her? She just took her bag and left, didn’t even say bye.”

You sat down and took his hand in yours. His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “You don’t have to do that anymore, she’s not here.”

“Frankie, what I’m about to say isn’t something nice.”

He interrupted you with a laugh. “I’d be surprised if you did have anything nice to say. She’s a lot.”

With a sigh, you looked down at your hand in his, and brought your free hand up to cover your entwined fingers. “No, Frankie. It’s really not good. Kelly…” you trailed off, unsure whether to sugar coat or just come right out and say it.

“Sweetheart, just talk. It’s me.”

Your eyes met his and you made your decision. “Frankie, Kelly has been stalking you and Rosie.”

The color drained from his face. “No. Kelly’s just a nuisance. She’d never go that far.”

“Frankie, she just cornered me in the bathroom to tell me that she knows we aren’t dating because she’s been watching you. There was another woman in a stall and she recorded it. She’s been watching me with Rosie and asking about you in the village.”

“Oh god, my baby. Would she have hurt my baby?”

His eyes were desperate again, but this time, holding his hand wouldn’t help. “I don’t know, Sweetie. I don’t know. You wait here, and I’ll pay our tab and we can go home so you can hold Rosie. You’ll be able to put your baby to bed and then we can talk about this more, if you want, okay love?”

Frankie’s eyes were glazed over with tears and he looked almost catatonic when you got back to him.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s get you up so we can start walking home. Just a few minutes longer and you’ll have your baby girl in your arms. It’ll be okay, Frankie. I’ll help you however you need.”

The short walk back to your houses was quiet, your arm around his. Every time you looked at Frankie’s face, you saw the fear in his eyes, and you knew that he was imagining the worst-case scenario when you got home. He was afraid that he was going to walk in and find his daughter missing. A part of you was also afraid you were going to find that.

When you walked into the door to see Taylor sitting on the sofa with Rosie on her lap, you let out a sigh of relief. You could see Frankie visibly relax, his shoulders releasing some of the tension he’d let build up on the walk home.

“Oh, you’re home early. Is everything okay?”

Rosie’s chubby hands were reaching for her father, and he moved to take her into his arms. You sent a subtle shake of your head to her, and she nodded.

“Well, Mr. Morales, she was an absolute delight, as always.”

Frankie only hummed in response, Rosie tucked into the crook of his neck, lightly playing with the curls at his ear.

You gestured over to the door and reached for your wallet. “I don’t know how much he pays you, honey, but this is all the cash I’ve got.”

Taylor looked at you with wide eyes. “I wasn’t even here for an hour, though! You don’t have to do that.”

You put both twenties in her hand and then raised yours in surrender. “Oh, no, shucks, it’s in your possession, now, you can’t give it back.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Okay, then. Thank you.” She turned to where Frankie was standing. “Bye, sweet Rose. Anytime you guys need me, let me know. I just love her to pieces. Have a good rest of your evening, Mr. Morales.”

Frankie just nodded his head at her and went back to loving on his daughter.

“Thanks, hon. Have a good night. Drive safe,” you whispered as she walked out of the house. You locked the door behind her and turned back to Frankie. “You want me to hang out here for a bit?”

“Please. I’m going to put her down here in a couple minutes.”

You sat on the couch and tried to busy yourself on your phone, but your eyes kept drifting back to Frankie. He had Rosie resting on his shoulder just quietly rocking her in his arms. Her eyes were falling shut, but was fighting sleep because she’d startle awake every so often. Once she was out, Frankie looked at you. “Okay, I’m going to put her down. I’ll be right back.”

When he came back out to the living room, he sat down next to you on the sofa. “Okay. You said something about a recording?”

“Yeah, there was a girl in one of the stalls. She thought it was going to be something funny she could share with her friends so she started a voice recording.”

“Let’s hear it, I guess.”

You put your hand on his knee. “Frankie, we don’t have to listen to this right now. We can go over this in the morning, if you want. I don’t want you to lose sleep.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m already not going to sleep well. I’d rather just listen now.”

“Okay, sweetie,” you sighed. You opened the text and pressed play.

The tail end of your nervous laugh sounded and your stomach dropped. You’d forgotten that about what else Kelly had said. You just had to hope that Frankie focused on Kelly like you had.

“‘Of course I’m in love with Frankie. It would be impossible not to be completely in love with him and Rosie, both.’”

As Kelly continued talking in the recording, you just watched Frankie’s face. You usually didn’t have a hard time reading him, he was someone who rarely hid his emotions, but right then he just looked impassive.

“‘I mean, come on, you’ve clearly been in love with him for longer than I’ve been watching.’”

You could feel your face heating up.

Frankie reached over and paused the recording. “Is that true?”

You closed your eyes. “Frankie, I-”

“Dulzura, please. You have to know. How could you not?”

You looked into his eyes, but you still couldn’t make out the emotion in them. “Know what, Frankie?”

“Cariño, everything I said tonight,” he trailed off. He took his hat off and ran his hand through his hair. “Do you even know how much you mean to me?” he whispered.

“Of course. I help out with Rosie. We’re friends.” Just saying that out loud brought a lump to your throat. There were tears in your eyes threatening to spill, so you looked up toward the ceiling.

Frankie reached out and took your face in his hands, tilting it back down to look at him. A tear fell and he brushed it away with his thumb. “Dulzura, you mean so much more to me than just friends. Everything I said tonight was true. I wasn’t looking for love when I moved back here. I wanted a quiet neighborhood where I could raise my daughter near her abuelos. But love found me anyways.”

You could feel your lip quiver. “Really?”

Frankie smiled and brought his forehead to rest on yours. “Te quiero con todo mi corazón, mi amor,” he whispered.

“I love you, too, Frankie. With all of my heart.”

He brought his lips up to place a kiss on your forehead. “You sure you want to do this, cariño? You know all my baggage. You know how tough it will be.”

You let out a watery laugh. “Francisco Morales, you are the easiest man to love. You are kind and selfless. You’re stubborn. You love that baby of yours so, so much. It was so easy to fall for you. I’ve loved you since that first night we sat and talked right here.”

“Funny, that’s the night I knew, too. And the first night I bitched about Kelly.”

You groaned and looked down at your phone. “It can wait, cariño. It can wait.”

You looked back up at him and smirked. “You haven’t even kissed me, yet, Francisco.”

Frankie hummed and brushed a bit of hair away from your face and smiled. “You’re right, I haven’t. You are so beautiful, cariño.”

He leaned in close enough that your noses brushed. “May I?” he whispered.

Your answering ‘please’ was barely audible, but he closed the distance anyway.

Frankie was right. He loved you, so everything else could wait until morning.

[rhenuvee]

So Bloody Clueless [George Weasley x reader]

Summary: Fake dating things :P

Warnings: swearing :0

*I realized I’m an idiot for not doing this sooner so tell me if you’d like to be tagged in my future fics. I write for 3 fandoms so please specify which one!*

P.S: If I see another HP promotion in Spanish or any other language I will yeet your comment out the door :) I warned u bots.

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“You want me to what?” you asked for the fifth time. 

“You heard me, I want you and George  to pretend to be girlfriend and boyfriend.” said Fred with just as much enthusiasm as the previous four times.

This was unfortunate. You and the twins have been friends since you sat together on the train in your first year. Over time you started developing feelings for the younger twin. It was weird now that you think about it, but you couldn’t deny it. You don’t get butterflies when you see Fred. 

“And why should I let myself be an advertisement?” you asked sarcastically. Fred sighed dramatically as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Becaaaause our lucky guy Georgie here has a chance with Angelina,” he explained. “Besides, if he blows this, he’ll be a poor single soul forever.”

You suddenly felt a little down hearing those words. You never knew that George and Angelina were becoming a thing. You wanted to yell out, “No Fred, he wouldn’t be a poor single soul because I like him.” Oh, but the embarrassment you’d face if George ends up only liking you as a friend.

But you thought again, this would be the closest thing to having a relationship with George, if he ended up catching up Angelina’s attention. Of course he would! He’s George Weasley!

“O-okay fine- but just for today!” you managed to get out. 

“Great, Angelina told me she and Alicia and Katie would be in Honeydukes.” said Fred.

“They went to Honeydukes without me?! Those-” 

“You can argue later! Now go and be in love!” said Fred cheerfully and shooing you two off.

“But I-”

“GO!”

------------------------------

It was awkward. You felt stiff and sweaty. Your hands felt clammy when George suggested to hold hands to look more ‘couple-like.’ But boy you just looked like weirdos. Did George notice your clammy hands? Probably.

All of a sudden he stopped walking. You turned your gaze to his direction and realized he was staring at Zonko’s joke shop. He had a big smile on his face, and it didn’t stop when he turned to look at you. You in turn was taken aback from seeing his handsome smile and tried to look in other directions, trying to play it off.

“C’mon (y/n), let’s go!” he shouted while pulling you into the store with excitement. 

“Whoa George slow down!” you shouted back.

It wasn’t your first time at Zonko’s, you’ve been there before to accompany the twins. The store was just as colourful and lively as you remembered. You felt glad seeing George all jumpy in his favourite store as he scanned the products even if he’s seen them a thousand times.

You decided to look at what they had on your side of the shelves. Frog spawn soap? You smiled imagining Fred’s scaredy-cat face, wouldn’t that be a way to get back at him?

George noticed you were staring at the product and went to your side to see what was up. 

“Ah frog spawn soap, and who might this be for?” he asked bending down to your height.

“Your twin.” you replied.

“Oh- well in that case, we might as well take their whole stock!” said George triumphantly. You giggled at his grand gesture.

“I’ll pay for it.” he said about to take the product.

“No way.” you said quickly stopping his hand.

“Why not?” asked George genuinely confused. You bit your lip.

“It’s nice of you...” you admitted quietly. “but we’ve already got two amazing pranksters in Hogwarts.” George smiled cheekily knowing one of them was him. You were glad your response worked as a compliment and a good reason for him not to buy it.

“I mean, if you say so.” said George flicking his hair in an exaggerated way. You giggled and rolled your eyes.

“Don’t get cocky.” you said shoving him lightly as you both walked out of the shop.

------------------------------

It was great, it was good that going to Zonko’s was able to loosen you two up. He would wrap his long arm around your shoulder or waist. You would hold onto and lean on his arm while walking. Both of you would make silly faces and joke around at who knows what. But even this had to come to an end.

You could see Honeydukes in the distance. Your eyes went droopy and you felt down remembering that this was just an act. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little jealous of Angelina- but at the same time who wouldn’t? She was pretty, smart, on the Gryffindor quidditch team, and got along with George just as well. The whole package.

“Are you okay, love?” George asked snapping you out of your thoughts. You froze at the term of endearment he’d call you since you’d been friends. You can’t help but think there’s a hint of romance in the nickname. You took a deep breath.

“Yeah I’m good, Georgie.” you said smiling up at him. He frowned knowing that wasn’t it. He wanted to press into it and ask you but you had already reached Honeydukes.

“Wait.” said George abruptly while stopping you by grabbing your wrist.

“We need names.” he said. You cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

“Names?”

“Yes, we need a unique name so we seem like a more believable couple.” he explained. You nodded you head.

“Okay, what do you suggest?” you asked while trying to thinking of some yourself.

“How about darling? Nice and simple.” he said. You blushed at the thought of George calling you darling. But you quickly thought of a response yourself.

“That’s too generic.” you said.

“Generic? You have a go then.” he ushered. 

“How about sweetheart?” you asked.

“Sweetheart is just as generic, sweetheart.” he teased. You rolled your eyes.”

“Sugar, sweetiepie, cupcake- that’s three, ha!” said George who seemed very proud of his three word answer.

“Oh please everyone in Puddifoot’s probably uses that on a daily basis.” you retorted. George was at first hurt but he laughed at you witty response.

“Gumdrop? Honeybun? Pumpkin?” you said in a tone as if it was the obvious choices.

“Hold on, do I look like a honeybun to you? And those are just as bad!” he said laughing halfway through his sentence. You guffawed and held your stomach imagining George as a honeybun.

Soon, name suggestions became utter randomness. You and George were yelling out random foods, not caring at this point. Yup, you were like two complete drunks.

“Waffles!” 

“Fried rice!”

Meanwhile in Honeydukes, it wasn’t long before the girls saw you and George clowning around outside the store.

“Are they okay...?” asked Katie tapping the other two to direct their attention to you. They made disgusted and confused faces.

“Um...”

“Maybe we should go and see what’s up.” said Angelina turning to lead the girls to pay for their sweets,

“I hope they aren’t arguing or anything like that..” said Alicia with a small hint of worry.

“TOMATO SOUP!”

“FISH FILLET!” 

You both could be called maniacs and get away with it. George and you were laughing so much you had to hunch and lean on each other for support. What was going on...

After fish fillet, you started to calm down. Both of you tried catching your breaths, but still with wide grins on your faces. All you could hear was the sound of George’s breathing.

How weird it felt, how weird and giddy your heart felt looking at him in such a state where he appeared genuinely happy. How weird it was that you two unconsciously seemed to walk slightly closer to each other. 

George took one last breath before bringing his arms around you. He looked at Honeydukes and quickly went back to you. 

“You know what, fuck it-” 

And with that he didn’t hesitate to lean in and smash his lips against yours. His lips felt warm, his arms holding you around your waist felt so loving. You looped your arms around his neck to bring him closer. You could feel him smile a little, still from your stupid food argument you were laughing at a few seconds ago.

“What in the fish fil- what the fuck is going on?!” shouted a voice from behind. You and George jumped and immediately pulled away from each other, a bit embarrassed that you were caught snogging. It was Fred.

“George, (y/n), what are you doing?” asked Fred with a concerned expression. Both your hearts were beating fast, it was weird seeing Fred so serious. After a few moments which seemed like forever just standing there, Fred broke the silence.

“Okay, I can’t hold it anymore, I’m kidding.” he said with his arms up in surrender and a smile forming. What? You and George looked at each other really confused. Suddenly the three girls came out cheering nonsense for you and George.

“Woohoo!”

“We did it!”

“Yeah get some you two!” 

“Hey- ALICIA!” you yelled as you heard her since she was the second phrase. She giggled at your reaction.

“What’s going on?” asked George looking at the four of them.

“You see dear brother, we have set up a scenario where you and (y/n) could go on a date.” explained Fred.

“But why wou-”

“Because you both are SO BLOODY CLUELESS!” they all shouted at the same time. You and George were taken aback. Everyone in Hogsmeade probably heard them.

“Let’s leave them be, but I better not see you snogging when you come back.” said Fred pointing a finger. And with that, Fred and the girls headed back to the castle, leaving you and George alone again.

“Well, I won’t wait any longer, (y/n) would you like to be my girlfriend?” he asked. You decided to tease him a bit.

“Hm, I don’t know my tomato soup...” you said trying not to laugh.

“Well we did snog, my fish fillet.” he said doing the same. You almost chocked. Then you both leaned in and locked lips for a brief moment, until George pulled away to say something.

“Okay, this is getting weird, why don’t we just stick to love and darling?” he asked chuckling. You giggled.

“Yeah that sounds good... and of course I’d love to be your girlfriend Georgie.” you cooed. He smiled at your words, it made him go fuzzy inside.

“Let’s head back then, darling.” he said taking your hand.

“Wait-” you said running.

“Love where are you going?” he shouted.

“I hate your brother and the girls setting us up like this, and I hear there is a frog spawn soap just dying to be bought at Zonko’s- so let’s go!” 

[cuinnamonbun]

HC!! Imagine how funny it is that the brother think MC is suicidal or insane when they just speak out on their intruitive thoughts ☠️

The Brothers When GN!MC Says Their Intrusive Thoughts Out Loud

Lucifer

It was the ass-crack of dawn and he’d just finished a sizeable portion from his mountain of paperwork

He went into the kitchen for some coffee to freshen up when he saw MC there already sipping on their own cup

They seemed to be staring off into space, only giving him a nod as he muttered a good morning

It was a peaceful silence until MC decided to say some outta pocket shit

MC: Wouldn’t it be really fucked if I died in the Devildom not because of some demons but because of consuming excessive amounts melancholy coffee? That’d be pretty wild

MC....what

Lucifer only looked at them with exasperation before leaving the kitchen, mumbling that it’s too early for this shit

Mammon

For once, Mammon is calm enough that he’s not racing out of the house to go scam people or steal some valuable antiques

They were just chilling on MC’s bed side by side against the wall as he scrolled through Devilgram while MC is just daydreaming

It was all good vibes dude, Mammon even played some lofi music while they were chilling

Until MC decided to ruin it without even realising

MC: Dude....what if some random demon breaks in the House of Lamentation when I’m home alone and in the shower and he tries to kill me? Can you imagine fighting someone when you’re bare naked and completely drenched? I bet that demon’d get a great show before ending my existence, huh?

Mammon did a double take as he gaped at his human

HUMAN. FUCK KINDA DRUGS U ON???

Now he will never allow Lucifer to let them stay home alone (or leave them alone ever really)

MC has now found themselves a helicopter parent and a 24/7 bodyguard

Leviathan

He’d invited MC over to play this new video game he’d just bought from Akuzon

But MC was pretty groggy when they came by and decided to opt out lest they throw Levi off his mojo and hold him back

So now they’re just sitting next to him watching as he killed his enemies with ease, progressing through the levels with barely a sweat

The last guy that Levi had to kill before he could move on to the next stage had his spine broken by the game’s protagonist

Of course, it sparked some thoughts in MC’s brain

MC: Damn if my spine just snapped right now, would I feel it? Or would I just be immediately paralysed and die?

Levi had to pause and gape at MC for almost an hour before he went nuts

Levi: WHYYYYY IN HELL WOULD YOU THINK THAT????

Now MC has to calm this ball of crippling anxiety by ensuring him that they didn’t mean to say their intrusive thoughts out loud

poor Levi, you’d better comfort him as best you can MC

Satan

They were both watching some of the stray cats at the back of the house eating the cat food that Satan had brought

It was peaceful, neither of them were talking since it was still early in the morning and MC had just gotten out of bed

They were absentmindedly petting one of the kittens as they ate by their feet when they foolishly opened their mouth

MC: What if I just...picked this kitten up and throw it as hard as I can against the wall?

If Satan wasn’t awake then, he was awake now

He pulled the kitten away from MC before turning to them in a fit of rage

....which (just barely) sizzled out when he noticed just how sluggish they look

Ah, then it clicked in him. He’s read about this; they were having intrusive thoughts

He understands of course, he has had some of his own too but...as a precaution, he will no longer allow them anywhere near his cats

Asmodeus

They were having their bi-weekly spa night together in his room

Usually MC would be pretty amped up during this time but given how much RAD assigns them homeworks, projects, assignments and tests, they were pretty burned out by the time Asmo was pampering them

Asmo didn’t mind the quiet, he already has his playlist out and he knew how tired MC was so just relax, darling and let him take care of you ;)

He was applying the clay mask on MC’s face when they suddenly opened their eyes to look into Asmo’s

MC: I wonder what clay mask tastes like. Do you think I’ll die if I just...eat a dollop of it

Are you really MC or has Beelzebub somehow taken hold of your body?

Asmo would be so concerned

Asmo: Darling! Don’t do that, if you’re hungry we can go and grab some snacks from the kitchen, but don’t go around and eat skincare!

It would be an hour-long lecture about how skincare is expensive and how you shouldn’t eat it no matter how much the company advertises it like it’s food before he drags them downstairs to get some snacks before resuming their spa-night

Beelzebub

They were down the kitchen doing their midnight snack run

It’s not something that they planned to do together, but sometimes when Beel is down in the kitchen hunting for food in the middle of the night, MC would join him

Beel was scrounging for food in the pantry while MC was eating some ice cream on the countertop, leisurely kicking their feet back and forth

Of course he emerged with a whole roasted duck

He was cutting into the duck as he ate it because he is a well-mannered boy even as Gluttony :)

The way he cut into the meat with ease and then devoured the whole thing in minutes somehow sparked something in MC’s mind

MC: Can you imagine if I get kidnapped by a Hannibal-like demon and instead of devouring me like how you’d expect an animal to, they just elegantly eat me like I’m some five-course meal at a Michelin-grade restaurant. That’d be pretty funny

Beel had to stop eating to gawk at MC

This poor man’s brain was processing what the fuck they just said before he went full blown concern

Beel: MC!! Don’t make me think that!!!

Now MC has another (unofficial) bodyguard tailing them wherever they go and ensuring that they’re never alone whenever they go out

Belphegor

The two of them were in the attic, taking a well-deserved nap after a tiring day at RAD

Or well, MC is attempting to at least

They were just so tired to the point where they just couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard they tried to

The constant tossing and turning by MC really irked Belphie so he just wrapped his arms, legs and tail around them to keep them from moving

This just forces MC to lie still and stare up at the ceiling as their fatigued yet overly hyper mind started thinking all sorts of things

MC: We are literally pieces of meat on a rock floating through space, and our lives are ruled by little pieces of paper, so technically....I could throw myself off the side of the cliff and life would still continue on as we know it

Okay, now Belphie is wide awake (or...half awake?)

Is this human just too fatigued or are they just insanely suicidal

He would grumble and hold onto them tighter as if to prevent them from running off and actually yeeting themselves off of a cliff

Belphie: For the love of Hell, please just go to sleep you insane human