#i almost cry when i think about all the potential a story like this could have

[katerinaaqu]

What's your opinion on how Telemachus was handled in Epic (so far) ? I'm curious 😀.

And what is different from his Odyssey portrayal ? Not counting the fanart that infantilizes him, I'm strictly talking about the musical itself.

Hahahaha you guys definitely wanna put me against a wall one of these days! XD But I absolutely LOVE this question! Hahaha okay here goes;

Absolutely I wasn't gonna talk about the fanart and all that is part of the designing process and arguably that is part of every person to do. They could easily choose the depiction more Odyssey-accurate and still use the musical sound so yes you do well to mention it because yes I myself wouldn't touch the design part in this ask

Anyways long story short; I don't like it.

Storywise it is overly-simplified and shows only one portion of his possible emotions; the one that tries to connect with his father. That part is genuine and I see where the portrayal such as the song "Legendary" came from. Arguably Homer himself also touches the subject of glory through one's deeds and I see where the musical came from when Telemachus says what he says but the song was too bbbly, too naive portrayal of Telemachus and in a way completely disregarded the true depth of sadness and depression in Telemachus.

In the Odyssey Telemachus never connected to his father because his father was never there. To the point where he was even doubting whether he was his son or not. He basically says that "everyone calls me that but how can I know? The dude was never there. Possibly never will be here again". His whole energy was the total opposite than Epic.

Epic portrays Telemachus in a manner that reminds me of Disney's Little Mermaid in "Part of your world"; a bubbly teenager who dreams to start his life or to be making a legendary name for himself like his father and in childish naive energy says "bring me all these monsters to fight them!" while in his childish naive nature was also making him afraid or worried to face the bullying of the suitors (the way the suitors were portrayed as if Jorge wanted to make them EVEN MORE evil also had me cringe like Antinous calling Penelope "tramp". Antinous called Penelope more or less "divious" because of her scheme against them but that was all. In here they are competing for her hand while calling her names without reason? Yeah right....). He seemed like the average teenager that needs the adult to get him to realize video games is not the life and that he needs to do something about his future! Does he also seem low-key sad? Yes. But just like Ariel in the Disney movie was pictured as a dreamer that wanted escape from his confided situation through bubbly and childish dreams.

Odyssey Telemachus was both emotionally and psychologically exhausted; his mother was taken down by grief and endless waiting and had confided herself in her chambers, trying her best to avoid the suitors that were at her home for FOUR YEARS, constantly crying at this point. Telemachus also saw his grandfather lose his mind in sorrow and his grandmother melting away by desperation and sadness and dying or potentially killing herself by it. The last thing he wanted was "to be legendary". In fact Telemachus gave me the exact opposite energy than a dreamer. He was very down to earth and his main goal was to get out of this nasty situation, trying to grow as a person to set himself free from this torment. He had so much in his plate that the last thing he wanted was to dream. In fact he gave me the impression of a person with no more the luxury of dreaming. He almost seemed crushed to the point of breaking himself almost like every other member of his family. (He gives me the impression of a person that after spent years of trying and fulflling their dreams now they are forced to work in a work they hate for survival and think that "dreams are for fools. No luxury for them!")

Like I said Menelaus described Telemachus as a spitting image of his father including his eyes, which is something I find the most important. Menelaus compared Telemachus's gaze to Odysseus; a man that fought a war with him! A man exhausted by the evil he saw and caused. Telemachus's profound grief was so intense that his look was equivalent to a man Menelaus fought a war with! He was the opposite of what we see in Epic! In fact we know that Telemachus was also very much silent and tried to keep a low profile so he didn't need to face the humiliation of the men that were literally plundering his wealth and harassing his mother and himself. The last thing he had in his mind would be to "be legendary". He was also plundered by the fact that not only was he doubting that Odysseus was his father per se but also he was in doubt that this Odysseus that everyone named his father would be alive or dead. He didn't know that. He was actually almost certain that Odysseus was dead but that part in the back of his head was not yet leaving him in peace which is why he needed Athena's guidance

Which brings me to the next part; Athena In Epic Athena appears to...give Telemachus the boost to fist-fight the suitors for some reason and mind you he still gets his ass handed at him! It made it seem as Telemachus's only problem was that he didn't have the guts or skills to fight the suitors and Athena gave him a solution! (potentially a message to stand up against bullies for teenagers? Perhaps but still I felt it massively undermined Telemachis's situation in the book) As I have answered to another person around here, Telemachus's problem was that the suitors claimed the law of hospitality and named themselves ODYSSEUS'S guests. Telemachus could not yet take over as king and he had no power to send them away. Plus he was plundered by doubt about his own inheritence. What Athena did was not to make Telemachus a fighter for he already was (we see how well he stands against them at the side of his father in the Odyssey) she came to encourage him to find out on his own.

Arguably the trip of Telemachus was a mirror counterpart of Odysseus's but instead of a trip that makes you lost like Odysseus was lost, it was a trip for self-discovery. Mind you, both the trip of Odysseus and the trip of Telemachus are cognitive trips; both characters learn in them and come in contact with places. Psychologically the trip allows Telemachus to escape this boarderline toxic grief in his home and explore the world. Also find out on his own information about his father. Now, arguably he never really finds out about his father's whereabouts for certain apart from Menelaus's vision but there is something he definitely gets out of his trip that is not talked about enough;

He finds out he REALLY is the son of his father and he gets information about what kind of man he was!

He hears from friends that fought with him how similar he looks to him; not just from his closed and secluded environment but of people outside his circle and his known people that he looks like him and they also give him information about him. No more the random comments the suitors he hated say or his sad mother who could either idealize his father to escape her grief or the loyal slave Euryclea who adored the family naturally like a mother; now it was also friends and known people of Odysseus that speak about him Telemachus is double-checking his information! Thus coming home much more confident on his inheritence and his own destiny and duty

Arguably the Odyssey is as much Telemachus's story as it is Odysseus's. Telemachus was in one way a spectrum of Odysseus; fighting a different type of war; losing himself in a different type of sadness. His story was a story of coming of age not a story of a goddess that teaches him how to stand up against bullies. Telemachus already does that in the Odyssey by calling the council. Arguably he was alays standing against the suitors but his position did not allow him to do something drastic! I think just like many things Epic missed this by a mile; reducing Telemachus's profound grief, sadness and uncertainty to an average teenage escapism story rather than the fact that Telemachus had no luxury or energy for escapism, Athena's advice for self-discovery to the average "raise your fists and fight your bullies" story ignoring the deep cultural details that led Telemachus to that tight spot in the first place and of course it completely abandoned the importance of Telemachus's trip which could be a subject of a movie on its own! (Quite frankly Telemacheia covers more chapters in the Odyssey than Odysseus's own flashback! It covers 5 rhapsodies of the Odyssey while Odysseus's story covers 3-4)

I hope this answers some questions! I will be happy to elaborate more.

[kittydragondraws]

Things We Could Get If We Got A Prequel That Took Place Pre Core Collapse

I like thinking about the potential you could have this this concept, I mean it's functionally a brand new setting but with a bonus of having familiar characters.

Beau Origin

Pre-Insanity Alice

"Kill All Humans Phase" Emo Teen Khan

Nori Being a Menace

Khan and Nori Meeting

Hearing Yeva Speak

Doll's Father's Name and Like... Personality

Intern Mitchell My Beloved

Ridley My Beloved

The Real Dr Chambers

Human Civilization on C9

[wilcze-kudly]

Aang is great because almost every ship you can put him in instantly becomes top-tier.

Like:

Kataang- they literally make me cry every single time I think of them. Their love story is wonderful and genuinely heartwarming. It symbolises healing and peace for both of them and the literal world. He showed her the world and he's her biggest supporter and she always defends him and they find solace in each other because they understand what it's like to be the last of their respective kind. And they're each other's hope and just... ahhh. They're so much more than the vanilla hero gets the girl ship people paint it as. Haters stay mad or smth.

Zukaang- the symbolism? They're the actual Ying and Yang of the show! The Rozin parallels? Them standing in a vortex of rainbow fire as two dragons (the blue one like Aang's tatoos facing zuko and the other one, red like Zuko's general colour scheme facing Aang) forming a heart shape around them? Zuko was literally searching for Aang and found his redemption in Aang and Aang made him a better person and Aang is literally the only person who genuinely experienced Fire Nation culture before the war and he clearly values it and he's helping Zuko bring peace to the world and the nation...

Taang- The og tomboy x soft boy dynamic. He's literally the person that helped her free herself from her parents and Air is the element of freedom? And she teaches him when to stand firm like the Earth? And I love when they do synchronised earthbending it's so satisfying and they work so well together. Toph having lost her face in one of Aang's nightmares is also a nice parallel to Ummi and Kuruk. (One caveat though: i hate taang being used as a "get Aang out of the way" side ship to Zutara)

Sokaang- they kinda come out of left field for me but the more I think about them the more obsessed I become. It's all about a teenage boy who has been forced into a role that demanded way too much of him finally learning to trust and rely on others. It's about Sokka finally living out the childhood that he was forced to grow out of. Sokka also has such a cute bond with Momo and more importantly, Appa, Aang's animal soulmate. The fics write themselves.

Sukaang- ok, I know Suki and Aang barely interacted in the show but like Hear me out.Suki is so connected to one of Aang's past lives. And she saved Appa, which would totally bond her and Aang (genuinely distressed that this was never discussed in canon). And they both value a sense of community so much, and Aang was one of the people who inspired Suki to leave Kyoshi to help others. Plus, there could be some amazing Rangshi parallels if Suki became Aang's bodyguard instead of Zuko's, which could be very plausible.

Azulaang- I adore this ship because I genuinely think Aang could really help Azula find her redemption. Hell, he was so nice to her in The Search and she literally killed him. Plus I've already laughed about how it would absolutely kill Ozai. The mental crisis Azula would go through due to fallingin love with Aang would be hilarious, and also the guilt over everything she's done, as Aang's kindness makes her realsie she was on the wrong side this whole time. He's one of the only people who can beat her at her prime and he doesn't seem to fear her at all, which is rare for her. Aang could give her the unconditional love she so desperately craves and needs.

Maiaang- genuinely adorable to me. Other than the obvious grumpy x sunshine trope, Maiaang has a lot of potential. Mai seems to genuinely like Aang in the comics, which is really cute. I also think Aang would be able to help Mai express her more positive emotions, other than just anger. Also something about the girl who was forced to remain silent and passive her whole life learning to finally let go and allow herself to just live with the help of probably one of the most active and expressive characters of the show has me by the throat. Plus, he got along great with her lil bro!

Tyaang- They're so similar and cute and bubbly! They'd have tons of fun together and I just know Ty Lee would teach Aang some gymnastics and he really enjoy it! I think he can also find Ty Lee's chiblocking very cool, since it is essentially a great way to deal with a conflict without causing permanent damage. Very airbendery. Speaking of which, Ty Lee is also very airbendry herself. I can genuinely see her finding herself in Air Nomad culture and be excited to help revive it.

Onjaang- i just find this ship so funny because imagine being a random schoolgirl in the fire nation and not only rizzing up a demigod but rizzing that demigod up successfully. This ship can also go so many ways depending on On Ji's reaction to that random cute guy who threw a cool dance party is actually the Avatar, so it's certainly interesting.

Yuaang- the ultimate cinnamon roll x cinnamon roll ship. But more than that, there's of course the Yue becoming the Moon Spirit and Aang getting lowkey possessed by the grieving Ocean Spirit. There's Yue appearing when Aang needed her most, while he's stranded in the middle of the ocean and helping him. They both understand sacrifice and responsibility, and maybe they could comfort each other through it. Also Aang being the bridge between the spirit worlds and Yue being a Spirit could lead to a very interesting romance, depending on how much the Avatar could interact with the Moon Spirit.

Jetaang- ok, Aang was just as infatuated with Jet as Katara was, right? And I think Aang was heavily affected by Jet's actions and behaviour. Also Aang really not wanting to hurt Jet while fighting him (twice!) was really cute. And Aang helping Jet snap out of the Dai Li brainwashing could be a really cool ship moment the more you think anout it.

Teoaang- Honestly their little one sided rivalry at the beginning of the episode was really cute. And I think there could be some interesting symbolism between them. Aang symbolising the old and Teo symbolising the new. They compliment each other like that. Teo comforting Aang by showing him that the critters of the temple are still alive and well is also sweet. And Aang admitting that Teo has the spirit of an airbender is so sweet.

Kuzaang- they're adorable. I loved the comic about them. Aang calling Kuzon "Hotman" is really funny. Aang helping Kuzon make a bigger flame with airbending is also really sweet. I especially like this ship in combination with Zukaang. It's such tasty symbolism.

Aang may just be the most shippable charater of this franchise, argue with the wall. He's so filled with love I have no choice but to multiship.

[heelluring]

— his regrets... • l.hs

wherein the sinner was once again hit by guilt but he guessed, it hurts the most when it hit the second time around [ part 1 ]

author's note ~ ! hi! so, i decided to write this since there are a lot of requests. i dont know if i ever gave the story any justice, i just hope i was able to deliver what i want to write. anyways, here you go. happy reading!

Heeseung stands outside the restaurant that both of you frequently visits. in the past, he'll drive to the restaurant while u're the one entertaining him through the passenger's seat. he'll call u pretty and will watch as a soft blush stain ur cheeks together with a subtle hit on his arms in attempt to hide your shyness. Both of you were happy that time, heeseung was happy, you were happy— when did everything go wrong?

oh, right. he cheated. he did the very same thing he promised he wouldn't do when you said yes to him. cheating with her older sister at that. what is he thinking, right? Heeseung also, didn't know.

And as much as he regret it, it wouldn't change a thing. He'll never feel your presence in his arms, again or feel how your lips fit so well in his.

It's been years since he saw even your shadows but you're still the one haunting his mind. After getting caught with his affair, he immediately ran after you but was failed. Came running to your apartment, but no one was there. Your landlord assured him though, he was told that your things are still in the apartment and that made him hope, maybe this will be a passing tumbles? Maybe he can still fix this?

He was definitely wrong. It was all but a delusion. You never came even if he waited for almost a week in that apartment just leaving whenever he had to go to work. But, you successfully avoided him. The next time he came, your apartment was wide open, your things were gone including you, and workers from the complex are now starting to clean the unit for the new potential buyers.

You successfully vanished through his life, didn't even get him a chance to see you before completely walking out of his life. The same time you left, so is heeseung's life started to crumble. He was called by the HR department one day, saying he's just there to talk. Though the way they have every evidence of his infidelity and disgusting rendezvous with Rina told him otherwise. That's just like a punch for him. Your crying and pained face draws on his mind, he can't think about anything but how hurt you were the day you found out. He was a jerk, a sinful man that doesn't deserve any forgiveness. If all, it just made another salt that was rubbed on his wounds. He was so stupid. How could he do that?

After all the things you did for him, this is what he decided to give back and thus, karma's out for him. Things happened so fast that when he came into realization, the company already sent a letter making him choose if they'll forcefully fire him or he'll just voluntarily resign. It doesn't matter anyways. His business was all the employees could talk about for the past few weeks, even if he gets fired or resigned, doesn't matter because people knew what he did and that goes the same with Rina. With no stable income, life was hard. Heeseung had a hard time applying in a new position. No one's accepting him, in the end, he became content with jobs that had nothing to do with his past career. Being a janitor or a delivery guy, he did everything and anything just to survive.

"Heeseung? what are you doing there? There's a lot of people since dinner already started, we need you at the back" Even being a waiter in your favorite restaurant was one of the things he did just to put food in his mouth. But he knew it wasn't just because of that. Heeseung wanted to be able to hold at least one small fragment of your memory that was still enclosed in this restaurant. Because, every time he sees that one special corner, he was able to be happy at least for a short period of time.

"Serve the new guests, it's on table 15" Heeseung nodded at that taking the menus on his arm before walking towards the table. It was a couple, the man was the only one he could see while the woman's back was facing him. A certain feeling took over his system. The woman looks familiar but that's impossible. Heeseung shook his head and his doubt, before putting on a smile.

"Good evening, and welcome to Chaconne. My name is Evan, and I would be your server for the night. Here's our—" His tongue was cut off when the woman looked at him. It was you, it was really you. Heeseung wanted to cry, to just get on his knees and say all the things he couldn't get to say all these years. But, who is he fooling? He knew that what he really wanted to do was to hide in shame and guilt. He always wanted to appear in front of you as a successful and strong person but instead, you saw this side of him. The one who's currently paying his dues with karma. You didn't say anything, just looking at him with sadness in eyes. He can't read that sadness as something different though. He knew that it was accompanied with pity, pity with someone you're just acquainted with.

"Sir? Are you alright?" The guy you're with asked. "Ah.. ah— yes. Yes, I am. I'm sorry for that, Sir. So here's our menu..." It was smooth, he was able to calm down. He needs to be professional, he can't afford losing this job and he also can't afford to make you uncomfortable. After a while, the guy who he knew called Jay called him again to take the orders. It was an understatement when we say heeseung can't take his eyes off of you that whole night. You look beautiful as ever, the only difference is that you look happier. Jay said something to you, and that made your eyes widen in bliss before giggling, hitting him softly with your hands. As a man, heeseung knew how Jay loves you. The way he looks at you, how he softly caresses your hand on his, drawing small shapes on its surface in process, how he smiles just to you was all he needed to know. Besides, it's the same look he's given to you. You look so happy, you might as well be glowing when you're with him. Heeseung on the other hand, can't do anything but be happy for you. You now feel at peace and secured, it's a long way from how miserable you have been with him and heeseung can't help but thank the one above for that. Even when you two finally finished your dinner, leaving gracefully with your chivarious man supporting you, heeseung can't help but to follow you with his eyes.

Oh how he wished, he was that man. Heeseung was not a saint. Of course, on top of being happy for you, he also felt bitterness creeping up his system. But it's all in vain.

"Hey, heeseung." One of his co-workers called when it was closing time handing him a dark blue colored envelope. "Remember the couple you served earlier? The woman told me to give this to you." His eyes widened, taking the envelope before saying his goodbyes to the other workers. He was in the park when he decided to open it. A can of beer, and a cup of ramen placed hastily on his side as he took the envelope out. It was elegant and sealed, he flipped it twice before carefully ripping through it when he made sure there were no written words outside.

Hey, heeseung. It's been awhile, years even. I know things didn't end well between us. I don't know if you're angry at me for the things I also did just to get back at you, and I won't blame you if you are. It doesn't matter though, I will still say sorry for those things. I was driven by my anger and pain, and because of that you lose your means to support yourself. I'm sorry Heeseung... for everything. For me, those moments were nothing but a memory, just a painful part of my past. I was able to move on and I hope that goes the same with you. You don't need to suffer, give yourself a chance again. Forgive yourself.

It's nice to see you again, Heeseung. You might not believe this but I hope you'll be happy, I am hoping for your best.

Heeseung didn't know he was crying until a tear stains the paper, the next thing he knew, his vision was blurry. "You were still saying sorry to me even though we knew I deserved it? Even wishing me happiness when I'm the one who took that away from you in the past. Y/n... how can you be so cruel?" His thumb brush on your signed name, as he whispers those words. How come, after all these years, you're still the one who can make himself feel understood. His whole system was numb, can't feel anything aside from pain. Is this the kind of pain you felt that night? Heeseung's happiness was with you but now, yours was nowhere with him. He feels relieved, yet there's a bittersweet feeling because this just means that he has to let you go, that this will be the last night he'll have a touch on your memories.

"Thank you... thank you so much... and i love you..."

heelluring, 2024

likes, reblogs, and comments are deeply appreciated ❤️

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#31: The Heart Rip (1.04)

gif cred: @kimwexlersponytail

Rick has convinced himself that Michonne leaving without him is the only way and yet when she does leave, it quickly becomes clear that going their separate ways is extremely painful for them both. It's in every way heart-ripping. And so while their figurative distance will remain a bit longer in this episode, we see that of course these magnets can't help but close the literal distance as Rick runs after her...

At first, when Michonne leaves the apartment she’s all stubbornly walking trying to seem like she feels resolved over leaving Rick. But then she stops and I know there’s a part of her so eagerly hoping she’ll hear that door open and Rick will have come to his senses. But that moment doesn't come just yet 😢.

They cut to Rick inside the apartment still frozen in place. And this is a big moment where the breathing tells the story because he has this labored breath as he starts to panic.

Michonne stays standing in the hallway as she fights back tears. But her tear can’t help but fall. And I just 😭. She cries, I cry. It’s the rules. Richonne going seperate ways like this when they're magnets is no easy thing and I know it makes them both feel horrible. ☹️

gif cred: @figmentof

Michonne turns around toward the door and her standing alone in that hallway is such a sad confirmation that it really isn’t her Rick in that apartment, because her Rick would have most definitely gone after her by now. Really Michonne wouldn't have even made it to the doorknob with her Rick.

gif cred: @perryabbott

I like that we get to see both Rick and Michonne’s responses to this pivotal and painful moment of potentially walking out of each other's lives for good. It sorta reminds me of the beautiful season 4 moment when Michonne sees Rick and Carl in that house in After.

That’s another moment where Rick and Michonne are on opposite sides of a wall and reacting to each other both with a similar shade of elation over being back together.

gif cred: notabadday

And now in TOWL, Richonne are on opposite sides of a wall with a similar shade of devastation over being apart. Both of them are experiencing that heart-being-ripped-out-of-their-chest moment that Rick will detail a bit later. 

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

I love that Michonne stands there for a good while just breathing and waiting. It feels like another act of belief in him that maybe just maybe he’ll still pull through. And it shows that while she’s walking away, every part of her doesn’t want to give up on him.

Meanwhile, the magnets in Rick have him already at the door knob as he hesitantly touches it but then refrains.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And then this breathing moment from him by the door is very notable to me because it’s very similar to the breathing moment he’ll have during a certain panic attack later in the episode.

And the way he’s panicking in both moments really hammered home the point to me that Rick is both terrified of losing Michonne and terrified of having her. He’s convinced himself he’s a poison thanks to the target Jadis and the CRM have on his back. And so even here as he hesitates by the door I always get the sense that he genuinely thinks it would be selfish of him to go after her because he knows that being with her can put her in harm's way.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

What’s interesting about Rick’s struggle in ep3/4 is it has to be so extra jarring internally because he’s lived his life the last 7 or 8 years not feeling almost any emotion and now here he is reunited with the person who literally makes his heart burst with emotion more than anyone else. And he’s wrestling with how he feels like turning his heart back on could be dangerous for her and him.

But I also appreciate how when Michonne leaves the apartment it’s not all just to get Rick to open his eyes, she’s also feeling the fullness of her own feelings and acting out of that. And again, I was glad that she gets to go through this not solely as someone aiding Rick along his own journey but as someone really dealing with a lot herself and it stirs up emotions for her too that she has to navigate through.

So Michonne waits a little while longer in the hall, decides she can’t wait anymore, and starts to head out. I like that she didn’t go back inside the apartment because at this point Rick needed to be the one to chase after her and show that he absolutely does not want the two of them to part ways. 

gif cred: @taiturner

I’ve seen debate on whether Michonne really was gonna leave or would she have ultimately come back. In my opinion, she really is leaving, just not hastily. Like I think she would be walking real slow to that car lol and might even wait a little after that just hoping he’d make his way to her. But if it became clear that Rick really wasn’t coming, she’d know he’d made his choice and she’d head home. (for the time being at least, because the way she's an A and the way she and Rick are soulmates I feel like at some Michonne might come back with a little army of her own to break him out of there) 

Rick struggles to collect himself as he breathes heavily by the door and Michonne is halfway down the stairs, so he will need to make a decision fast. Rick finally takes one deep breath and then he rushes out the door.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

His face when he opens the door looks like he feels like he’s making a decision against his better judgment since he thinks the best thing for the two of them is to part. But I was like Rick, going after your wife is the best possible decision you could have made. 👏🏽 Just like how more figuratively going after her all those years ago was the best decision he made. I’m glad he let his heart and those magnets in him lead the way here. 😌

gif cred: @nerd4music

When he leaves they pan over to the window where a CRM helicopter comes to destroy evidence of the crash. And just gotta say that window with the scenery is so pretty. TOWL’s cinematography in every episode is so aesthetically pleasing. 😍

So then Michonne stands at the entrance and stares at the walkers out front with just a clenched kitchen knife in hand. And I honestly think one of the few reasons she waits is because she still wants to give Rick a chance, cuz I know she’s not hesitant about these walkers outside. Like sis was about to go through a biblical-sized horde in ep 2 so these walkers can’t be giving her pause like that. Even if all she has is a lamp stick and a kitchen knife.

And sure enough, Rick is running to the rescue and I love to see him booking it to get to her.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

This running moment was giving epic love story. 😊 And I always say all versions of Rick love Michonne, including Dead Rick so of course he can’t let her leave. Been true since season 3. 💯

Just when Michonne is about to be affected by the blast from the CRM, Rick arrives just in time to throw himself on her and shield her with his body. I love how he does this act of protection without question. And the way they make eye contact and linger a little bit while he’s on top of her. Again, straight out of a love story and I’m here for it. 😊 Like it’s 0.5 seconds and still hot.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

And never have two people needed to get it on after shutting off that sexual side of themselves for almost 8 years. Similar to the episode 3 kiss, this moment just lets you know…they’re ready. 👌🏽

But that time is not now, even tho they do nearly get lost in their Richonne bubble with him on top of her like that for the first time in years.

gif cred: @nat111love

The glass doors have shattered and walkers are coming inside in droves so Rick looks back and then helps Michonne up so they can run upstairs. I can never exactly tell if they’re holding hands when they run upstairs but in my eyes they are. 😌

The scene ends with them in the background as we see Michonne has lost her kitchen knife...and not having her weapon will soon lead to some comedy between these two. 🤭

gif cred: @taiturner

I love that this episode all takes place in one location and what’s extra smart is that it takes place in one location without having to take place in just one room. So this is where we get to see Rick and Michonne explore the rest of the building as they try and figure out their next moves to get out safely. 

They try different doors and then one of my favorite moments is this moment under the red light when Michonne starts coughing and Rick immediately checks on her. Ooh it’s so good. 😍

gif cred: @machonnes

I appreciate that her coughing gives some continuity to the fact that Michonne had her lungs burned from the CRM attack. I’m glad that’s not just a forgotten major thing that she went through. And it’s such a small detail but I always like that she seems to turn to Rick just before she starts coughing almost like instinctually needing him and Rick is instantly right there reaching for her instinctually too. 🥰

I love the way the music gets all soft and the framing of it with her against the wall and him so close to her as he gently and lovingly asks, “Are you okay?” Michonne says yeah and then even more gently Rick asks, “Are you sure?” cuz you know he wants to be absolutely sure she’s good.

It will forever make me happy to see Michonne be treated with care and consideration by her man. You know the Grimes family care to check on each other even if it's just a cough. 🥰

gif cred: @machonnes

Michonne says, “Yeah. You?” And my heart will also always melt seeing Richonne take care of each other. They’re the sweetest. 🥹 Like even after all that fighting and nearly walking away from each other, it’s moments like this one where they check on each other that always make it clear that Richonne loves each other with everything in them. That’s their baby fr. 🥲

Then I really love the weightedness of this wordless moment when Rick hears her ask “You?” And he has this moment of just silently staring at her and then ever so subtly nodding. It’s so sweet and layered to me. 🥺

gif cred: @machonnes

Because one; Rick knows that on a larger scale, he’s not okay but he’s trying to be for them. Two; while he’s not mentally okay, he is more okay now that he’s back with her and I think in this moment he knows that being with her is what most feels right. It sorta reminds me of the ep 1 dream when she asks if he’s where he wants to be and he assuredly says yeah.

Three; it’s been years since someone cared about Rick like this and you can just see it be so foreign but appreciated that she also wants to know that he’s okay. 🥲 And four; I love how it feels like he gets lost in her for moment. That’s the Rick I know. 😌 And I love the way they’re swaying and holding onto each other. It’s a romantic visual.

gif cred: @machonnes

But y’all, Danai then demonstrated that she doesn’t just know how to write drama and romance cuz she's got a great grasp on comedy too. And she proves it in this next moment. 😋

Richonne is yanked out of their bubble yet again by approaching walkers so they run and have two different ideas of what they need to do next.

gif cred: @nat111love

Rick thinks they need to find a way out but Michonne thinks right now they need to hunker down somewhere til the numbers thin out.

Rick disagrees and he goes full CRM saying, “We do that we get trapped. We can’t breach from this high up. Even if it’s a defensible position.”

gif cred: @figmentof

Michonne is fed the hell up with this CRM-lingo and so she’s quick to respond telling Rick, “I don’t even have a weapon, Commando, so how are we supposed to get past all those walkers?” 😂

gif cred: @figmentof

And then she expresses clear disdain for his solider terminology with 'the defensible position' and it cracks me all the way up. 🤣

gif cred: @figmentof

Rick notes the shady nickname saying, “Commando, really?” Which cracks me up too. 😂 It was giving husband and wife who know exactly how to push each other's buttons lol.

And this testy marital banter is gold. I like how one moment they’re being so incredibly sweet and soft with each other and the next they’re ribbing each other. We got us a versatile couple, y’all. 😋

gif cred: @figmentof

And they know this fight ain’t over yet so until it’s fully resolved these little moments of opposition are gonna keep popping up. 

The building's walls start cracking so Michonne tells Rick to come into the gym area to hunker down.

gif cred: @taiturner

And y’all, as you know, this next superbly acted scene is where things get very very interesting and emotions rise even higher.

This gym scene is also where Michonne says my absolute favorite thing she’s ever told Rick. 🤩

And then Rick...well…

The Richonne hallway moment gave us a bit of love and levity, but in this next gym scene, we see Richonne hit their lowest point. 😥👌🏽

[sunshine-zenith]

I never been this invested in fairly oddparents before. Like I'm so nervous about what's going to happen with Dev and Peri by the end of the season because if they get separated that would be the worst thing for both of them or if Dev gets his memories erased, he won't learn from any of this.

So to distract myself, I'm gonna think of what would happen when this show is renewed for season 2 (and it WILL be if I have anything to say about it!) like:

Peri getting embarrassed by his parents for not acting normal when they're humans in public because it's like winter and they're still in their regular clothes when outside, so he has to poof them up himself.

Dev getting invited to join in on holiday festivities with Hazel's family because we all know that's not gonna happen with Dale.

More time with Hazel, Dev, Jasmine, and Winn as a group.

Even more wacky neighbor shenanigans with Peri involved.

Same, my dear Anon, saaaaame. I remember FOP being one of my favorite shows when I was little (I remember being in elementary school and somehow stumbling upon the first couple seasons online, meaning I could watch it whenever, and to this day I still laugh when I remember the “Where did you get that?”-“Uh…. Internet?” bit, but there’s something so special about these characters I grew up watching and their silly hijinx and sweetheart new godkid getting into serialized shenanigans

I seriously hope we get at least one more season (or even TOH treatment where while the crew is put in the unfair position of having to rush through their story to wrap it up, but at least they get to wrap it up *cries in Infinity Train*)

I want all of the above, especially Dev getting to hang around Hazel’s family and getting exposed to a completely healthy family dynamic, and seeing Hazel, Jasmine, Winn, and Dev as a friend group in O:BT was absolutely delightful (I’m still sad the original show fazed out Chester and AJ over time — give our main character friends and let them keep them!)

Some other potential stories that I’d love to see

Another episode about Hazel’s hair. Diana actually grew on me (metaphorically) by the end and I wouldn’t hate if she became a reoccurring character. Plus it was amazing seeing an episode about a black character’s natural hair without it needing to be A Special Episode. They made that joke about “relaxing” and it almost flew over my head but when I got it I had to pause the episode because of my delighted laughter

An episode where Peri (who finally has his own human disguise) somehow gets roped into solo babysitting Hazel, Dev, Jasmine, and Winn (because for some reason kids really like me and whenever I visit my sister’s family I somehow always end up at an arts and crafts table talking about Ninjago with a bunch of 3-7 year olds and I need Peri to go through the same I Need An Adult — Oh No I Am The Adult emotions)

More Hazel and Antony shenanigans — maybe she visits him at college and wishes she could experience college life herself (knowing the types of jokes this crew likes making, there should be at least one student loans joke that makes you cry as much as it makes you laugh)

For that matter, even if it’s a long shot, I would love an episode that features the Wells Siblings and the Turner-Cosma-Fairywinkle Siblings. One set could have the A plot and the other could have the B plot, or they could all get up to shenanigans together, idc I just know that there are so many obvious parallels between Antony-Hazel and Timmy-Peri (the nearly identical age gap, the close relationship that had a wrench thrown into it when the older sibling grew up and moved away, the way the younger sibling looks up to the older one, etc) that I need to see explored somehow. Plus, maybe we could even get Peri and Antony bonding — since he’s a fairy, the way Peri aged is probably super weird, but developmentally he’s probably close enough to Antony that they could be peers. Give👏Peri👏A👏Friend

Does anybody remember that episode from the original series that was a back door pilot for a Crash Nebula spin off. It was one of my favorites as a kid and I would love if they did something like that with Prime Meridian Love — it could start with Hazel and Dev learning their favorite manga getting an anime adaption and doing everything they can to watch it premiere in English (or the crew could have the majority of the episode in Japanese and even make a sub vs dub joke)

Listen Peri was OP as a baby, and I need them to bring that up somehow. I don’t know, the could have him lose his wand and have to fight whatever the bad guy of the episode is with his bare hands and show off his martial arts skills. I can just picture Dev and Hazel’s reactions and I need to see it and see their faces when they learn he taught himself how to do that as a baby

[pascaloverx]

Moonlight

Summary: You and Edward Cullen used to have a romantic relationship. But fate seemed not to believe in the possibility of a vampire and a potential she-wolf being together. Years after your separation, you return to Forks. Edward is committed to Bella Swan, and Jacob Black has his own pack. What happens when, upon your return, you begin to transform into a she-wolf and both Edward and Jacob seem eager to revisit the past with you?

Author's Note: The characters in this fanfic do not belong to me but to Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight universe. The story blends events that happened in the Twilight saga movies with invented ones. If you're enjoying the fanfic, please interact. Comments and kudos are welcome. This story will contain inappropriate language, a possible love triangle, scenes of violence, and romance.

FOUR SIX

FIVE

It had been nearly a week since Edward told you he was going to tell his beloved about you two. You were being consumed by guilt and, at the same time, a desire for him to be honest. But there was nothing you could do. As you try to push away intrusive thoughts, you snuggle even closer in Jacob's arms, who sleeps peacefully. Sleeping with him is so familiar to you that it's become a habit. Not that you two are having sex. You wouldn't mind, but it seems like Jacob is afraid to fully commit. Which you understand. And for now, the kisses, hugs, and nights spent sleeping wrapped in each other have been more than enough. As you run your fingers through Jacob's hair, his phone starts to ring. Amazingly, he doesn't wake up, so you think it might be a good idea to answer it for him. You pick up the phone and gently slip out of bed, leaving the room to speak with whoever is calling.

"Hello?" you whisper, trying not to wake Mr. Black or Jacob. You hear an unfamiliar female voice on the other end of the line.

"Hi, could I speak with Jacob? Can you let him know it's Bella?" the woman on the phone says. She sounds a bit nervous, but you're certain Jacob would be furious if you didn't wake him up to take Bella's call.

"Sure, I'll go get him and put him on the phone," you reply as gently as possible. You head back to the room where you and Jacob are sleeping and nudge him until he wakes up. It's almost a mission impossible because he seems to hibernate when he sleeps. But after a few tries, he finally wakes up.

"It's Bella," you say, handing him the phone. He seems surprised to get a call from her, probably because of the hour. But he answers her immediately. You can't hear what they're talking about because Jacob steps outside the house. You can only imagine that it's not good news.

"What did you do?" Jacob says first thing, sounding irritated as he accuses you. You stand up from the edge of the bed, confused.

"What do you mean, what did I do, Jacob?" You're on the defensive. There's no way you and Black didn't wake his father. But right now, you don't like the tone Jacob is using to talk to you.

"Edward told Bella about your dirty little secret. She broke up with him and now she's devastated. Damn it, you coming back here was the worst thing that could happen," Jacob says, looking at you like you're a monster. It breaks your heart. Jacob has always been your biggest supporter. Whether it was when you were younger and your father tried to push you towards Sam to force an imprint, or when you decided to leave Forks after your parents' death. Seeing him look at you with such contempt is tearing you apart inside.

"Are you sure you want to say that?" You ask, wanting to be sure before making a decision; after all, you owe that to Jacob. Your eyes fill with tears as you wait for a response. But all Jacob does is stand there silently. He watches you cry and says nothing. You take a few moments to compose yourself, then start packing your things. Hastily and without care, you pack your suitcase. You're not going to wait another minute for Jacob to apologize.

"Y/N, where are you going?" Mr. Black asks, wheeling his chair over to both of us. Jacob stands at the door of the room while you finish packing your suitcase.

"Away from your son, sir. You've been very kind to let me stay here, but I can't stay with him any longer. I hope you understand." You gently hold Billy Black's hand, saying goodbye to him. As soon as you pass by Billy, you head for the door of the house. Your car is parked in front, and you put your suitcase in the trunk as you feel the rain starting to form. As you get into the car, Jacob appears in front of it. You start to feel an overwhelming anger towards him. The pause between turning on the car and facing him seems eternal. It's as if he doesn't want you to leave but can't bring himself to say it.

"Don't go." That's all he says. You grip the steering wheel so tightly you feel like you might tear it off. How can he hurt you and still expect you to stay?

"If you don't get out of the way of the car, I'm going to run over you" you threaten him, as you feel resentment wash over you. Interestingly, he doesn't leave the front of the car. You look Jacob in the eyes, wanting so much for him to make it easier for you.

"Please, do not go." He pleads, as if he can't bear to see you go. But before you can do anything, his cell phone rings again. He doesn't even need to answer for you to know who is calling him.

"You should answer. It must be the woman you want to be by your side. Don't let me disturb this in your life anymore." You say, still hurt. Jacob seems indecisive, not knowing whether to answer his cell phone and let you out of his life or continue to convince you to stay. And then he answers his cell phone, while you go away.

Driving while trying to stop crying is a challenging task. Now it gets even harder when it's raining. You're trying to think of where to go, but you can't decide. Sam will kill Jacob when he finds out what happened to you two. And when he finds out about Edward, he's very likely to kill you and Edward. Maybe you should go home anyway. Jacob must be right. You ruined everything. And while you're hitting the road, Edward appears out of nowhere. You almost run him over.

"Have you lost your mind, Edward Cullen?" You scream as you get out of your car and go to Edward in the rain.

"I told her. I told her I still had feelings for you. I made it clear that I loved her deeply. But that part of me still belonged to you." Edward speaks loudly as the two of you are soaked by the rain. You look at him without reaction, because you didn't imagine he would be so frank.

"Obviously, she broke up with you. Anyone who admits that they belong to an ex, in good conscience, does not deserve to be by their lover's side. Go to her, tell her you made a mistake. Tell her that your past has upset you but that you love her. Don't make her give up on you because of me. I do not deserve this." You say as you feel a storm take over your heart. You don't believe what you're saying but you need to not be a mistake in anyone else's life.

"Why do you want to run away from me again?" Edward asks, knowing deep down that you really are trying to run away from all of this. The feeling you feel now is that you are sinking into quicksand.

"It's easier to run away than to stay here and face the fact that I don't know if I'll experience a love as great as ours." You finally admitted something that has been tormenting you since the first time you left.

"If our love was so great, stay here. Stay in Forks, stay with me. Rediscover what it's like to feel the feeling we both abandoned years ago." Edward's request seems bold. Rediscovering what you left behind is dangerous. It could be the start of a war between those who are his family and those who are your family. You sigh, thinking about what to do as you stand a few steps away from Edward.

"Don't regret this." You alert Edward, as you run into his arms. He holds you in a hug so tight that you feel like you're walking into a house. Not just any house, your house. You kiss him then, like someone who is thirsty. Since you arrived, you kissed him a few times but never with the feeling of coming back to him. He grabs you by the waist and pulls you up, making your legs wrap around his waist. With his vampiric speed, he quickly places you under the hood of the car as he continues to kiss you.

"Will you come home with me?" Edward speaks between the kiss, while you are too compelled by desire for him to understand that he is asking you to go to the Cullens' house with him.

"I'll go with you everywhere." You mumble close to his mouth as you continue to lose yourself in him. He squeezes your ass lightly and before you know it, you're in the car, taking each other's clothes off.

[ghostfanwriter]

💖🧰 Dirty hands pt 3 🧰💖

Part one Part two

💖 Pairing: Dbf!Joel Miller x Virgin!Fem!Reader

🧰 Synopsis: Joel keeps finding reasons to stay in Lincoln. And you worry about the day he leaves, but he makes sure to show you how special this whole thing also is for him.

💖 Features: 🔞, fluffy and domestic Joel, Joel fixing things for her, masturbation (m and f), soft — so soft — (kinda dom) Joel, praise, pet names, quick cumplay (for poor Joel's desperation), sprinkles of angst here and there (I hurt my own feelings sometimes).

🧰 Word count: 9.5k. I'm so no sorry about this.

💖 About this: It took me forever to find this story, but I'm so, so glad it came out how it did. This series is gonna be a bit longer than I planned, but I have some real cool ideias for the next parts. Hope you're in with me ❤️

🧰 Author's note: Life really got in the way of this series, besties, but I came out alive. I'm really happy so many of you are as engaged with this story as I am, I love them so much. I just want a domestic, fluffy, soft Joel for myself 😩🤧

Good reading, besties 🩷🫶🏻

'You're always up with the sun.'

Bill's sentence made Joel sleep with his curtains open that night. Even with all the reasons why his mind told him he shouldn't pursue you, even with the potential death trap he was jumping into.

He couldn't not think about you. He couldn't not want to be with you.

He couldn't treat you like he felt he needed to. Couldn't dismiss you or break your heart. He had to make this experience as good as he could for you. It was only fair.

He would feel horrible if you never wanted to meet anyone else ever again because an old man made you cry.

So even with all the reasons he had to just forget about your and leave Lincoln the next day, he chose to keep his curtains open instead. To let the sun wake him up, so he could see you first thing in the morning.

He remembered the day he arrived, when Bill was showing him his bedroom and he saw you hugging Frank on your bed. Your grumpy and sleepy face, your messy hair, your clothes.

It made him smile again, and this time he allowed himself to. He let the feeling that was blooming inside his chest to make its point, to show him that there was an option outside of the QZ. That maybe he could stay.

Could stay with you.

Sure, making Bill lower his guard shouldn't be easy. But he could work on that; show him that he didn't want anything wrong or inappropriate with you.

That he wanted to take care of you like you deserve. Care for you like you're his.

Have you as his.

As the sunlight filled his room, he woke up and washed his face, staring at his own reflection in the mirror, last night memories floating around his mind.

He could almost feel you again, your warmth against his chest, as your body contorted and you made such pretty sounds for him. Then your soft hands stroking him, curiously roaming over his stomach and chest, how good it felt to be so close to someone again.

Not that him and Tess had ever stoped to have sex. They still did it, but not as a way to share anything, not to feel anything. Rather as a way to dismiss the bad feelings they had. They just dumped all the negativity of their lives into one another.

With you he didn't want to release anything. He wanted to gather everything he could from you, to make you feel as good as he could, without thinking about what he'd get from it.

He wanted to know you were happy, satisfied, taken care of.

He shook the thoughts as he felt them placing roots all over his heart, knowing that when the day arrived and he had to leave Lincoln, you'd be the main pebble on his shoe.

Halfway down the stairs he could already smell breakfast being prepared. He had peeked in your room, and, having not found you, he knew you'd probably be the one in the kitchen.

And he was right. As he gets close to the door, he can hear you humming one of the songs you played on the piano the previous night.

The image of himself playing a guitar while you played the piano flashed in his mind again, making his eyes soften as he looks at you.

You're wearing yet another summer dress. One even prettier than the one from the day he arrived.

He swears you look prettier everyday.

You turn around, jumping when you see him watching you from the door frame.

"Oh — God." You gasp with a laugh, almost dropping the pan in your hand.

"Morning." He says, laughing.

"Morning... Joel." You say, your voice small. Suddenly, you can feel your cheeks warm up, and it feels like all the blood in your veins came to them.

You stare at him, remembering the night before. How he touched you — or how he made you touch yourself. How you touched him, how almost ethereal the whole experience felt.

Part of you was afraid to bring it up and learn it was all a dream.

All of you was embarrassed, awkwardly standing with a pan in your hand, staring at him, not knowing how to interact with him after the night before.

You take a sharp breath in when he rushes towards you, getting confused when he walks past you, turning around to find him quickly removing a pan out of the stove.

You put the pan in your hand down at the table and run to the one in his hand, your scrambled eggs burnt at the bottom.

"At least there's more texture to them now." He says with a laugh, and you look up at him, an embarrassed smile on your face. "Are you alright?" He asks.

"Yeah, I am. Just... Gonna have to switch pans now, and what's gonna be left of them isn't going to be enough for all of us, and this is gonna be horrible to wash, and—" Your rambling is cut by his soft and low whisper.

"Baby." He calls, and you look up, finding his eyes as soft as ever. "Not talking about the eggs." He says while staring into your eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm... Good. Different, in a way. I mean, I don't know how to talk to you, or not make this super awkward." You mutter.

"It's not awkward. Are you... Okay with what happened, or—"

"No, no. I'm fine! It's not like that, no. I... I loved it. I just... I just don't know how to... I don't know it just feels weird." You stutter, feeling like you're embarrassing yourself.

"A good weird, then?" He laughs.

"Yes, a good weird." You agree. "What about you?"

"Long time since I've felt this good, baby. Was just worried about you."

"No, I'm good. No need to worry." You say shyly. "Well, expect my breakfast is ruined." You laugh, and he stares you for a second.

"Ever heard of Chef Boyardee?"

"No." You respond laughing.

"Well, he's gonna save your breakfast. Let me just grab it real quick." He says, putting the pan down and rushing upstairs.

...

He comes back after a minute, two cans in his hands.

"I was afraid Boyardee was your alter ego." You say, reading the name on the can.

"I'd never dare to compare." He says, bringing his hand to his chest in a fake humble gesture.

He opens the cans, and you two start cooking together. He insists to wash the burnt pan, as long as you watch chef Boyardee up close as it heats up in the stove while you make some orange juice.

Bill stops on his tracks when he sees you two in the kitchen. Cooking, making juice, brewing coffee, talking and laughing.

He smiles seeing how happy you are, seeing maybe he didn't made the wrong decision when he let Joel in his house.

"Our baby's growing up. Weird to think about that, right? It was never a thought before." Frank whispers from behind him, hugging him and snuggling his chin on Bill's shoulder.

"She is my baby. And it ain't Joel that's gonna change that." He replies, caressing Frank's forearm.

"She's not ours, Bill. Maybe the day's coming when we need to let her go, make her life." He says.

"Well, she can make her life inside these fences. Definitely not with Jo—" His rant cut by your short lived scream.

"It's not burning!" You defend yourself.

"Not the ravioli!" Joel fake cries, laughing as you desperately stir the ravioli in the pan, smoke coming out of the sauce, almost catching on your face.

Bill walks into the kitchen, his always heavy steps even heavier to announce his presence.

"What happened?" He asks, his eyes wide when he sees you close to the smoke.

"Oh, daddy... Joel's a disaster in the kitchen." You laugh.

"I was just washing the pan, you were supposed to watch the stove!" Joel defends himself, laughing, lifting the pan to show it to you. "If you didn't burn this one we wouldn't be going through all this right now."

You've never seen Joel laughing like this, and happiness looked good on him. You liked how his nose scrunched when he laughed and how tiny his eyes got.

He honestly couldn't remember the last time he allowed himself to goof around, make jokes and just have fun.

"It's your fault! I never want you in the kitchen with me again." You say.

"Oh, you're finishing this?" He mentions the pan in his hand.

"No no no, that was your fault. You clean it." You say, turning back to your dad. "Sorry, daddy. Good morning, are you okay?" You ask, going to Bill and wrapping him in a tight hug that he's eager to correspond.

"Morning, my love." He whispers on top of your head as he squeezes you, his hand holding the back of your head protectively. His suspicious stare watching Joel.

"We're having canned ravioli for breakfast?" Frank asks laughing, slightly grossed out.

"Chef Boyardee." Joel playfully corrects him.

"We were gonna have scrambled eggs, but Joel burned them." You say and Joel laughs in defeat, shooting you a playful look. "So yeah, canned ravioli. Promise I'll cook us something nicer for lunch." You say, hugging Frank and kissing his cheek. "Morning, dad."

...

Your dads sit across from one another. You're across from Joel, your right foot is between his feet and he's running his boots lazily up and down your ankles. You can't stop smiling because of it.

"So, Joel. I was thinking we could start with the east side and work towards the gates?" Bill asks, breaking the comfortable silence — only broken before to compliment Chef Boyardee — that was set while you all ate.

"Sure. Just have some other thing l have to work on before the fence, if that's okay? We're still gonna have plenty of sunlight when I'm done. Should be quick." He says while still chewing, stuffing back his mouth right after he's finished.

"What other thing?" Bill asks, not remembering asking Joel to fix anything else that day.

"She told me about these broken doors on her bathroom cabinet. Said they're loud and don't close properly." He says, looking at you, his feet moving higher on your calves, soothing you.

"Baby, didn't I tell you I'd fix your cabinet?" Bill asks, angry to imagine Joel inside your bathroom, even angrier to imagine you going after someone else for help.

"You did. But you never fixed it. So I asked Joel and he said it should be quick." You shrug, playing along with Joel, his legs caressing yours in a reassuring way.

You didn't even know Joel was gonna fix something in your bathroom, you never told him anything about your cabinets.

Bill grunts, and Frank tries to soothe him with a sympathetic look.

You were the most important thing he had, and he didn't like the idea of you not needing him anymore.

"So, love, your dad and I were wondering, what do you think of a bonfire?" Frank asks, trying to dismiss the topic, and you smile.

"A bonfire?" You ask excited, your gaze going from Frank to Bill, and you catch a glimpse of Joel's smile on your way.

"Well, I have some spare wood, and we're gathering a bunch of things we don't need with all the fixings we're doing." Bill explains, looking at Joel, who nods. "Your dad just wanted to call it a bonfire." Bill finishes, looking at Frank, a fake annoyance in his face while he smiles at his husband.

"And you loved my idea, didn't you, honey?" Frank asks, trying to win his case.

"Oh, it sounds so fun." You giggle, and you can feel Joel squeezing your calves softly.

"A bonfire!" Frank says triumphantly. Eating another spoonful of ravioli. "This is actually really good, Joel!"

"Told you." Joel said laughing.

As soon as you're done eating Frank offers to wash the dishes and you and Joel go upstairs, Bill watching you both with concerned eyes.

...

"When did you see the doors were broken?" You ask when he walks in your room with a chest of tools, following him into your bathroom.

"When, baby?" He asks with a laugh, raising one eyebrow. Like you didn't know he was in your bathroom the night before. Like you don't remember having him in your arms, hoping that one day he'd be yours.

"No, I know when. I just mean exactly when. I never told you about it." You say, sitting on top of your toilet to watch him work.

"When I was looking for a product to clean the sink. This door made a terrible sound." He explains.

You watch as he kneels on the floor and starts unscrewing the door, cleaning and oiling its parts before screwing them back together.

"So, how's life in the QZ?" You ask when he starts working.

"Not much about it, nothing you're missing out on, for sure."

"Then why are you still living there?" You ask and he looks up at you, the crease between his eyebrows and the way his eyes wander around showing you he doesn't have a clear answer for that question.

"Not that simple, baby." He scrunches his nose. "Told your dad, we've got things there that you don't have here. Things we — grunts — need."

You smile seeing his face contort as he has to use more force to unscrew a particularly rusty part. You notice his arms flexing under his denim shirt, how strong his hands look, making his tools seem small in them. How he grunts when he makes a final effort to remove the screw.

Your heartbeat speeds up before you can stop it, and you only notice that he's staring at you when you hear him chuckle.

"And do they just give you those things? My dads say they used to have to work to gain money, and they'd trade money for things they wanted." You ask, trying to dismiss the blood burning your cheeks.

"Wasn't Frank in a QZ for a long time?" He asks.

"He was. But he doesn't like talking about it. Says I don't need to know about it." You respond. Even though Frank was way more laid back than Bill, he also had his ways to guard you from things he thought he needed to. "But I want to know about it." You add, seeing Joel's reluctancy in keep telling you about it.

"We also work there, not for money, but it's still a trade system. We can get food, medicine, parts, clothes. Whatever we need."

"Do you have nice clothes there?" You ask with more excitement than you wished to. You know it's futile, but you sometimes wish you had different clothes to wear. He chuckles before answering.

"I mean..." He mentions himself, and you turn your head.

"I think you look good." You say honestly and he smiles.

"Your clothes are much prettier than the ones there, baby. You're not missing out."

"You like my clothes?" You ask, your voice small.

"Love them. Never saw no one dress like you since this whole thing started." He whispers, sitting back on his heels and watching you with adoring eyes.

You look out the bathroom door, your bedroom door closed. No noise outside.

You bend down, kissing him softly on the lips. His left hand caresses the nape of your neck as he deepens the kiss.

"Wanna help me choose my dress for the bonfire?" You suggest when you break the kiss.

"My honor." He whispers over your lips, giving them a peck and letting you go.

...

You come back inside the bathroom with two dresses, both on their hangers.

"Okay, so we'll go by elimination. What do you think of these?" You ask, holding each dress in a hand. He's kneeled on the floor, fixing the cabinet, but he turns his torso, carefully analyzing the dresses over his shoulder.

"Blue one." He says.

"Yeah. This one's a bit too summery, too sunny." You agree, and he raises his eyebrows, nodding and humming before turning back to the cabinet.

"And what kind of jobs you do there?" You ask Joel while going back to your closet, picking the next option.

"All kinds you don't wanna know about, trust me. There's nothing about that place that's worth knowing, nothing good except those walls." He says.

You come back with the winner dress and another option, sitting on your bathtub's edge.

"Well, not when you're in it. Then there's at least one good thing." You say low with a smile, poking him with your foot, and you can see the shy smile that flashes in his face as he quickly squeezes your calves.

"Tess and I we... Leave the QZ from time to time, which you're not supposed to do, to look for things we can trade for other things. Not always for nice things, but we can always trade them again for something better."

"You're smugglers." Frank says out thin air, startling you. "Which isn't bad, I mean, the best stuff I had at the QZ came from smugglers." He adds seeing Joel's worried expression. "Tess told me about it. Told me about the kind of things you two give to guards. Not anything we need here, but maybe you'd know where to find some things for us?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure. Depending on what it is, it shouldn't be hard to find." Joel says.

"Oh! We were talking about having more fruits, right, dad? Strawberries, watermelons. Think you could find some, Joel?"

"Would have to look around, but it's not impossible." He says, making a mental note of finding you those as soon as he has the chance.

The thought of leaving Lincoln to look for things you want plays in the back of his mind, the scenario making him smile softly while looking at you.

"Speaking of Tess..." Frank interrupts his daydreams. "...she's on the radio. Wants to talk to you, seems important. She asked you to bring a pen and paper with you." He finally says what he came in to say.

Joel looks at you, a deep crease between his eyebrows, despite his overall relaxed expression. If you're really starting to know him, the crease means he's worried.

He gets up with a muted grunt.

"Oh, Joel! Which one?" You ask before he leaves.

He looks back and forth between the dresses, pressing his lips, trying to picture you in both of them. He likes how tight on top the blue one looks like, how flowy it looks on the legs.

"Blue again." He answers with a smile. "Be right back." He says directly to you before turning around, walking out the bathroom and thanking your dad for calling him.

Frank sits by your side, carefully walking around Joel's tools.

"What do you think of the blue one?" You ask him, caressing the dress.

"Hm, thought you wouldn't want my opinion." He says almost bitterly, despite his playful smile.

"Why? You always help me choose my dresses." You say, furrowing your eyebrows, his expression softening.

Deep down he felt the same as Bill.

You always needed them, always looked for them for guidance, advice, help, comfort, love. It hurt to think of you not needing them anymore, of losing you.

"Nothing." He says quietly.

"Are you upset because I asked for Joel's opinion?" You ask, and he realizes just how silly the feeling is. You're just picking a dress.

"Well I... Argh, I am, love. Can't lie to you." He hugs your side, squeezing your head on his chest playfully. "You don't need my help anymore, you're not my baby anymore." He says dramatically, making you laugh.

"Oh, no! I don't love you anymore, dude. Let go of me!" You playfully say, acting like you're trying to get away from him but ultimately snuggling even closer to his chest.

"I love you. I'll always asks for your opinions on my dresses." You laugh.

"Well, to be fair. The blue one is the prettiest between those two." He admits. "How are things between the two of you?"

"Great. He's so nice." You say with a silly smile.

"Can tell you look happier. And so does he. Never seen him laugh like I saw this morning." He says.

You remember his face when he arrived. Serious and suspicious of everything about the town. How you only saw him smile three times that day; when you two met, when you said you were going to bed and when he saw you with Frank.

But as soon as you think about that day your chest tightens.

Tess.

She came with him. For some reason didn't stay. Was she looking for something while he was there, or did she return to the QZ? Was she coming over? She said she and Joel were just friends, but what if they weren't?

You whimper softly, your stomach hurting out of a sudden.

"You okay, love?" Frank asks, pulling away to look at your face.

"Yeah, just... Do you know what Tess wants with Joel?"

"She didn't say, love. Maybe she just wants to know why he didn't go back to the QZ yet."

"Wasn't he going to stay here for a while? To help you and dad?" You ask, confused.

"Well, yes. But she didn't know that. He was supposed to leave yesterday." He said, caressing your arm with his thumb. "But he kept finding reasons to stick around. New things that need fixing, the car's weird noise, now the whole fence. I wonder what — or who — made him want to stay." He squeezes your arm and you smile shyly.

"But why does she care?" You ask, an unexpected annoyance in your voice.

"Darling... Joel and Tess they... They used to be a couple." He says, careful, like he could see his words stabbing you. "She cares about him. She's worried, she doesn't know us, maybe something could've happened to him."

"Do you think he cares about her too?" You know it's a stupid question. Of course he does. It's Joel.

But it hurts to imagine him doing to her the same he did to you. Sharing the same.

Frank gives you a sympathetic look, his eyes softening and his lips falling open, like he's thinking of what to tell you.

"Do you think I'm silly, dad? Do you think he's just gonna leave and never come back?" You ask, thinking about what him and Tess must be talking about.

"I don't know, love. I heard him and dad talk about some of the houses in here." He sighs.

Should he even be telling you that?

'Is he thinking about staying?' You ask yourself, your puppy eyes making Frank kiss your forehead lovingly.

"Only he can tell you that, my dove."

Sometimes you think your dad can read your mind.

You think about what Joel told you.

'We've got things there that you don't have here.'

Could he ever not live in the QZ? Would he ever want that?

"But can I give you an advice?" He asks softly and you nod. You're taking any help you can. "Slow down a bit. Don't think too ahead, don't nourish any hopes or fears about what's gonna happen." He says, looking deeply into your eyes. "Joel has his life outside, you can't forget that. I really, really, my love, hope you don't come out hurt of all of this. And the only way for it not to happen is you being careful. Don't engage in feelings he hasn't displayed to you."

"Don't create expectations then?" You ask, trying to make sense of his words.

"Yes, sweetheart. Feel your feelings, but don't ever run over them. Don't expect what you want to happen to turn out exactly how you wish." He adds. "Like about him staying. Don't expect it but also don't suffer thinking it's impossible before he tells you exactly what he's thinking. Don't put yourself through unnecessary pain."

Before you can say anything else Joel walks back in, a mix of annoyance and worry contorting his face, that softens instantly as his eyes find you.

"Blue one?" He asks with a silly smile and you nod, an even sillier one in your face.

"Blue one."

...

It's hard to follow your dad's advice.

Because it hurts too much to think of not seeing him anymore.

And that's exactly what you do for the rest of the day.

You watch him fix the fences with your dads while you hurt your own feelings, thinking about him leaving, about him with Tess, about him doing to her what he did to you. What you only did with him.

It hurts to think maybe he doesn't care about you the same way you care about him. Because you can't stop thinking about him. You're more attached than you ever thought you'd be to anyone besides your parents.

It hurts to think about him leaving you...

...forgetting about you.

He noticed how quiet you were during dinner — it was quite hard not to. And he found strange just how much he missed you, even though you were right in front of him.

How you didn't make any silly jokes or laughed at the ones your dads made. How you didn't give him your leg when he reached for it under the table, like he did during breakfast. How you wouldn't catch his gaze when he looked at you.

He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger in exactly what happened.

After dinner you kissed your dads goodnight and went straight to bed, no piano, no songs, no anything, despite their protests.

Maybe something happened while he was fixing the fences with Bill. He hadn't seen you since he left your bathroom.

"Is something wrong with her?" He asks your dads as soon as you go upstairs. They both shrug, and Bill can't help but wonder... Why does he even care?

You brush your teeth and lie on your bed, throwing a pitty party for yourself, feeling silly for engaging in such unrealistic expectations.

Joel had his life in the QZ...

...with Tess.

He wouldn't just give everything up for you, to stay in Lincoln.

It's hard to follow what Frank told you, to not feel bad, to ignore the discomfort in your stomach everytime you thought about Joel.

You quiet your thoughts when he opens your bedroom door — that you never seem to lock anymore —, finding you laying on your bed, almost curled in a ball, your back facing the door. Trying to keep your eyes dry.

He walks in carefully to not startle you, going around the bed to see if you're awake.

Your eyes start watering as soon as you see him.

"Hey, baby." He says softly, squatting next to you, keeping his distance. "What happened?" He didn't need you to say you weren't okay, he already knew that. He just needed to know what got you like that.

You don't say anything, aware that any words you said would make you cry.

"Can I sit with you?" He whispers, still not touching you.

You nod, moving your hips back to give him room to sit. You knew that no matter how much you tried to stay away, you'd feel him pulling you close, like there's a magnetic field between you two.

He sits down in front of your stomach and you pull your thighs closer to his back, keeping him close to you.

He moves his hand slowly, giving you time to push him away, gently touching your hair, pulling it behind your ear.

"Do you wanna talk?" He asks, his voice softer than ever.

"Do you?"

"I want to do whatever you want, baby." He whispers, caressing your hair, almost making you sleepy.

"I want you to stay with me."

"I can stay until you fall asleep. But I can't sleep here with you." He responds.

Not the stay you were thinking about. But it works for now, and you're glad he didn't pick up on it.

"Can you lie with me?" You ask shyly.

You weren't mad at him. You were just afraid to get too attached — even more than you already were, and to suffer too much when he left.

But you can't deny yourself what you're craving.

"Anything you want, baby." He leans down to press a kiss on your temple, bringing his hand to your hips, squeezing you gently and turning you around, your back facing him.

"Is this okay?" He asks, laying down sideways behind you, staying away and not touching you.

"Uhum."

He supports himself on his elbow and strokes your hair gently.

"Are you cold?" He asks, touching your cold arm, and you nod. He sits up and grabs your blanket by the end of your bed, covering you with it and supporting himself back on his elbow.

He's far from you, and you scoot back closer to him, pulling the blanket that's pooling between you two over him.

"Wearing my shoes, baby." He says, afraid of getting your blanket dirty. He kicks his boots away and and moves his body closer to yours.

Dropping his head on the pillow behind you, he slides his left arm underneath your head, letting you use it as a pillow. He hugs you and curl his legs, curling yours along. Fully spooning you.

In a way it reminded you of when you were a child and your dads would let you sleep in between them during a thunderstorm. How the same feeling of calm and safety takes over you.

You do your best to snuggle into him and find comfort in the new position, eventually relaxing into his arms as his right hand comes underneath your face, cupping your left cheek, pillowing it. You snuggle your face on his hand, kissing his palm gently.

You indulge in the intimacy you two are sharing. In how warm you got because of him, how his calloused hand feels under your cheek, how your bodies seem to fit in perfectly within one another.

How you can subtly feel his heartbeat against your back, how you try to match your breathing with his, enjoying the way his chest raises and falls behind you. How his smell invades your nose, how his hot breath sends chills down your spine, how his strong arms hold you so tight.

You stay tangled for a while before you gather the courage to talk to him.

"Joel?" You ask gently and he hums in response. "Can I ask you something... about Tess?" You almost whisper, afraid of ruining everything.

"Sure, baby. What about her?" He responds, his thumb caressing the skin under your eye.

"Are you two dating?" You ask but regret instantly as you feel him chuckle behind you.

He gives your face a light squeeze before turning it for you to look at him. You feel vulnerable with him being so overpowering, moving you so effortlessly, his body engulfing yours so nicely...

"Is it because she called me earlier?" He asks, a smile on his face as he brings you back to reality. You only nod, not sustaining his gaze anymore. "Do you think I'd be here with you if we were together? Think I'd do this to her? To you? Lie to you like that?"

"I don't know." You whisper, hating how weak your voice sounds, barely making its way out of your mouth.

"Baby, Tess and I we... We were a couple, haven't been for a long while now." He explains, sincerity spread all over his face.

"Did you do to her what we did last night?" You ask, your stomach turning to imagine him doing that to someone else.

Realistically, you knew he had. But it still hurt to think about it.

"No, baby. Not what we did yesterday. That I never did to nobody." He answers and you look away from his soft eyes. "I'm not lying." He squeezes your cheek gently, making you look back at him. "Yesterday it was all about you, making you feel good. And sex with Tess was about releasing frustrations, sadness, anger. Distracting myself." He explains. "I'd never dump those negative feelings on you. I wanna make you feel good, wanna see and hear you feel good. I loved doing it, but it wasn't about me. It was all about you." He says softly, his eyes wandering from your eyes to your lips.

It feels like you're melting in his arms. His words disarming you entirely, making you want to feel him again. To share that again.

"Can you kiss me?" You ask, hope coating your request.

"Anything you want, angel." He whispers as he lowers himself, gently connecting his lips to yours.

The tingling of his beard on your face makes you lean in further onto him, pulling him lower on top of you as you lie back down.

You open your mouth, kissing his lower lip, making him deepen the kiss, rolling his tongue around yours, and gently grabbing a fistful of your hair.

His tongue tangling with yours make your insides burn with need, and your hips instinctively roll against his crotch, making you moan when you feel his still soft cock inside his pants. His hand comes from your hair to your waist, holding you still.

"Baby." His voice sound deep and aroused as he breaks the kiss, softly panting as he talks to you. "We don't have to do anything. We can go slow, slower than we're going. I'd love to just lie down with you tonight." He stares softly at you, his thumb caressing your belly.

"I want you, Joel. Want to feel you before you leave." You say, cursing at yourself when you realize what you've just said.

"Not going anywhere, baby." He promises, furrowing his brows before kissing you again, deeper and more passionately, making you moan into his mouth, his hand exploring your curves and your stomach, its roughness erupting chills on its tracks.

You can't stop your hand from reaching for him when he grabs one of your breasts, gently massaging it through your shirt. He pulls back when you touch his crotch.

"You first, angel." He says, removing your hand and kissing your neck. Then your shoulder, your collarbone. His hand softly pulls on the hem your shirt.

"Can I?" You respond by removing it, laying back down, your back still facing him, your hand reaching back for his hair, running your fingers through it.

His hand finds your breasts again, kneading them before he lifts himself behind you, sliding underneath your right arm to place ghostly kisses first around them, circling his way closer to your nipple, looking into your eyes for any reluctancy before he moves any further.

Not finding any and feeling how you pulled gently on his curls, he licks around your nipple once, still looking into your eyes. When you moan, he takes it in his mouth, humming at its softness. You whimper at how his beard scratches your skin.

The new and soft sensation of his tongue on you makes your clit burn between your legs, that you're pressing against one another, looking for some release for the almost painful need you're feeling.

He squeezes your hips, gently at first, but more and more firmly as you pull on his hair, his lips sucking tightly around your nipple, opening and closing around it, like he's trying to drink from it.

"More, Joel. Please." You whimper, your head spinning as you drown in simultaneous under and over stimulation.

"Want me to touch you, baby? Wanna feel my fingers on you?" He asks, letting go of your nipple, his voice breathy and raspy, and you whimper in response. "Would love to feel you, baby. Know you're so wet for me already. Wanna make you cum on my fingers." He says while tracing kisses from your breast to the back of your shoulder.

"Yes, please. Yes, Joel." You say eagerly, desperately almost. Making him laugh amusedly and spread your legs, pulling your right one over his hips. Slowly running his hand from your hip to your mount, the mere warmth of his hand making you grind against it.

"So desperate, baby. Gonna take my time, make you feel so good." He pants on your neck, lowering his hand even more, drawing soft circles around your clothed clit, earning weak whimpers and moans from you. "Let's take this off." He says, pulling on your pijama shorts, and you lift your hips to help him.

He pulls your leg back over his hips and caresses you through your panties for a bit, running his middle and index fingers up and down your folds, teasing at your entrance, softly pressing on it.

He palms your folds, gently squeezing your pussy. "So good, baby." He praises, his lips never leaving your neck. He runs his fingers of the elastic of your panties, playing with it. "Is this okay?" He asks, his fingers carefully sliding underneath them.

Your moan is enough of a green light.

His rough fingers make their way under your underwear, ghosting over your mount, then your folds. Finally finding the crease between them, gently touching your clit before spreading your folds, groaning when he feels how wet you are.

"Dripping already, baby. We haven't even started yet." He teases, nibbling at your ear and making you giggle. He laughs behind you. "Goddammit, baby, I..."

He stops himself with a grunt before he says too much, before he lets out something he's been pondering on, a feeling he's not managing to prune as it grows roots inside him.

He circles your clit again, just his middle finger rolling lazily over it. He uncovers it from the skin on top of it, making your whole core burn for him, the rough textured of his fingers on such a sensitive spot making you pull away with a whine.

"Sorry, baby. Too much?" He asks, kissing your shoulder, and you whimper in response, getting close to him again. "It's okay. We won't ever do anything that doesn't feel good."

He goes to your entrance and draws circles over it, slowly pushing the tip of his middle finger inside you.

"This okay?" Comes out in a whisper on your neck.

You love how he's always making sure you're enjoying what he's doing. Always checking in on you.

"More, Joel." You manage to put out.

"Okay, but just one, alright? We can work on two later." He says and you nod. You just need something from him.

He french kisses and bites on your shoulder while he pushes in, your walls engulfing him. You moan when his finger goes fully inside you.

It's so much bigger than yours.

He groans as he spreads his palm over your pussy, squeezing it quickly before gently thrusting his finger in and out of you.

"You feel so good, baby. So tight around my finger." His breath fans on your neck, and you have to swallow back a loud moan when he curls his finger, just like he taught you last time, hitting an even deeper spot than you managed to.

"Shh, real quiet, angel." His thumb finds your clit and he caresses it lazily, his finger moving slowly against your walls, your hips moving to try and ease the burn.

You feel his erection against your ass and your hand looks for him, grabbing him through his pants, earning a grunt, moaning when you feel how hard he is.

"Wanna feel you cum like this, can you try that for me, baby?" He asks while he fasten his movements, each thrust deeper and faster, each curl tighter and each circle around your clit more desperate. His hips bumping against your hand while you try to work him.

"Joel." You moan softly when your body starts contorting around him, your core burning as your hips move against his hand. "Please, let me do it." You plead, struggling to open his belt with just one hand.

"Fuck." He curses while he lets go of you, desperately opening his belt and freeing himself. He helps you remove your panties before carefully pulling you back in his arms, spooning you. His left arm underneath your head as his right arm pulls your leg over his hips again, his cock pressing against your ass, his hips grinding against you.

You stroke him slowly, spreading his precum all over his length, giving a special attention to his tip.

Just like he taught you. His grunts a sign you've learned just right.

His hands return their work, one on your pussy while the other alternates between caressing your hair and kneading your breasts, and you can feel his strong arm contracting underneath your face as he moves.

He notices your hand around him and your breathing both getting more erratic, an almost painful look in your face.

"Relax, cum for me, baby, let me feel you. I'm right here, I've got you, just let it come." He coos, and you twist your hand around him, making him thrust into it.

Being so close, so tangled, so vulnerable with him overtakes you, and your orgasm builds like a wave, slow and steady before crashing against your core, making you forget everything that wasn't Joel.

His smell, his warmth, his hot breath on your neck, his sounds, his rough fingers, his hardness.

You bite his arm that's under your head in an attempt to quiet yourself as he engulfs you with it, holding you tight and close to him, whispering praises and curses on your ear, thrusting slower and deeper into your hand.

"There we go. Feels so good around my finger, baby." He coos while you contort under his embrace.

He grunts as you probably squeeze his cock a bit too hard while you cum.

"Even prettier like this, my pretty girl." He praises as he pulls out of you, your arousal leaking all over your leg and butt.

"Making such a pretty mess for me, baby, look at this. You're gonna feel so good around me, angel." He thrusts into your hand again and shows you his finger, glistening and wrinkled from being inside you for so long, coated in your juices.

He sucks on it, furrowing his brows and humming at your taste, an amused smile on his face. His hips buck forward while he laughs, looking adoringly down at you.

"Taste so, so good, my baby, goddammit." He pants, and you wanna see him do it again, so you let go of him and gather some of your juices, bringing your fingers to his mouth.

He's quick to suck around them, rolling his tongue around your fingers and giving you a peck on the lips.

He thrusts forward again and his cock slides against your folds, making you both moan. "Hmm. Thank you, angel." He smiles on your lips, spraying kisses on your collarbone and your throat, his hips moving at a slow pace, savoring how you feel against his cock.

"So soft. So wet for me." He praises, hugging you, squeezing your waist and your breasts, moving his hips with more intent. Your belly clenching when his tip brushes against your sensitive clit.

"You like this, baby? Does it feel good? Feels real good to me." He breathes on your hair, his voice deep and raspy.

His right hand comes back underneath your face, and you snuggle against it, weakly bitting his palm and indulging on its texture against your skin.

It all feels amazing. The contrast between his rough, calloused hands and his soft, wet and warm cock rubbing against your pussy making you see stars. He feels so, so good.

"Feels so good, Joel." You moan.

"Close your legs real tight for me then, baby." He instructs and you do, pressing your thighs together, feeling his cock pulse between your legs. "There you go, good girl. Making me feel so good, baby." He says as he picks up his pace.

He fucks your folds for a while, grunting and moaning behind you as his cock opens it's way through them, spreading them and brushing his tip against your clit. The way his strong arms keep you close to him make you start rolling your hips instinctively against his cock.

He changes his pace to meet your hips, setting a passionate and deep rhythm, and you can hear the wet sound of your bodies pleasing one another when you move just slightly harder.

When you start to really enjoy yourself he suddenly stops, laying you on your back and climbing on top of you. He spreads your legs, making room for his broad frames between them.

He looks so big, so strong above you. You run your hands on his arms, frustrated that he's still fully clothed while you're so exposed for him.

Not that he makes you feel bad like this. No... It feels actually strangely good to be fully naked under a fully clothed Joel Miller.

He notices you mesmerized by him and just stand above you, kneeled between your legs, admiring your own exposed body.

To think that he did everything he's done to you without having to remove a single piece of his clothing is impressive.

But you need more, you want to see him, to feel his skin against yours. If feeling his hands and his mouth feels good, you know you're gonna be lost when you feel his bare chest and stomach burning your skin.

You undo the first button on his flannel, and he laughs.

"You look so sweet, so pretty, my baby." He praises, fixing your hair and leaning down to kiss first your cheek — right besides your nose, under your eye — , then another one on your lips. A sweet and lovingly kiss. You use the proximity to finish undoing his flannel, moaning frustrated when you notice the shirt underneath it.

You pull on it's hem, and thankfully he doesn't protest, just standing on his knees and letting you remove it.

You moan when you lie back down and look at him. He wonders if he's wrong when he sees the way you look at him.

As he got older and older people seemed to want to see his naked figure less and less. And to have you looking at him like that... Set a whole new branch of roots inside his heart.

You run your hands up his sides and his chest, and he closes his eyes at the feeling of your warm and soft hands. It's been a long, long time since he felt like this. You cup his cheeks and he lowers himself on top of you.

Having him on top of you is everything you hoped it'd be.

He's soft, warm and heavy.

So deliciously heavy.

You moan at the feeling and he holds himself higher, afraid to hurt you, but you pull him back, even lower, needing his weight to crush you.

You can't even breath properly, and you love it.

You wrap your arms around him, running your hands on his back and squeezing his shoulder blades. He does the same, his arms snaking underneath you, holding you like he was afraid you could ever think of going away from him.

If it was up to you, you'd never leave this bed again, this position, this man. Every kiss he places on your neck makes you roll your hips and squeeze him between your thighs.

He lifts himself a little and guides his cock between your folds again, spreading them apart and thrusting through them, pressing his cock against you with his thumb.

"Fuck." He pants as he slides his tip over your entrance. "Can't wait to be inside you, baby. Never gonna leave you again." He says, biting your jaw softly.

The promise makes its way to your heart, the thought of belonging to him, being with him, taking care of him and being taken care of consumes you, making you roll your hips on him.

"Please Joel. I'm ready, I want to." You plead, holding his arms.

He laughs.

"No, baby. You may be, but she's not. Look at this." He says as he presses his tip on your entrance, making you clench instinctively at the invasion and whine in pain. "You need to learn how to relax for me. Need to get used to being close to me like this. I need you to be sure about it." He says as he kisses your hand that's squeezing his shoulder.

"I am, I want you." You say, feeling as he slides the very tip of his tip inside you, grunting at how tight you feel around him. He thrusts slowly, just the tip going in and out of you.

And you have to give it to him... It feels like a lot. Even just his tip requires a considerable stretch, and the thought of having him almost carving your insides to make room for himself makes you clench around him.

"Shit — grunts — fuck, baby. See? She needs more time, I don't wanna hurt you." He says as he lowers himself to press a sweet kiss on your cheek, right besides your nose, pulling his tip out of you and sliding his cock through your folds again.

You moan when you feel his now much wetter tip brush against your clit.

He pulls your left leg up, bringing your knee close to your chest, caressing your thighs, not stoping his movements. You whimper as his weight sinks you down onto the mattress, and you wrap your arms around him, digging your nails on his shoulders, pulling away when he grunts from it.

"Sorry." You moan, afraid you've hurt him.

"No, baby. C'mon, squeeze me, it means you're liking it." He reassures you, thrusting slower and harder, pressing his hips deeper on top of you and bringing your other leg up.

"I wanna see it, Joel." You breath, holding firmly into his shoulders, your brows furrowed as you push him away, looking down where your bodies are connected.

"Yeah, baby? I love seeing it too. You look so pretty all spread for me like this, all ready and wet for me." He pants, touching his forehead to yours, looking down.

His hips get more erratic with every thrust, his hands supporting him up and squeezing you as he lowers himself on top of you again.

"Gonna make me cum, baby. But I wanna see you do it again, think you can do it for me?" He asks, his voice low.

"Yes." You moan, focusing on how good he feels rubbing against your core.

"There you are, such a good girl for me." He praises, kissing your neck, fastening his movements even more. "Gonna feel so good cumming under me, with my cock for the very first time, baby. Give it to me, c'mon." He says, moving your hair away from your face and cupping your cheeks.

The constant and relentless pace he sets along with his praises becomes too overwhelming, and you bite his shoulder to not scream when you cum, clenching and convulsing around air. Crying out in pleasure, droll dripping down his shoulder, tears running down your cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. I know it feels so good, doesn't it?" He coos.

His hand that was on your cheek now supports your head up against him, caressing your hair softly, soothing you.

"Goddammit, baby. Can feel you pulsing on me." He says, staring down, watching himself slide through your dripping folds.

You only moan in response, letting go of his shoulder and kissing the deep mark your teeth left on it.

"Gonna cum for you, baby. You did so well for me, such a good — grunts — fucking girl. My... All mine." He stutters, not being able to form comprehensive sentences anymore. "Can't do it like this, no. Fucking can't." He pants before dropping to your side, stroking himself deep and fast.

You watch his strong torso as it raises and falls heavily, curses and senseless words falling from his lips.

But when he calls you... By your name, a breathy and passionate moan... You can't help it.

You reach for him, wrapping your hand around him.

"Fuck, just like last time, baby." He instructs before running his fingers through your hair and caressing your cheek with his thumb. "Such a pretty girl. I'm so fucking — grunts — lucky, angel."

His praise makes you fasten your movements, twisting your wrist around him and rolling your hand around his tip.

"Joel?" You call and he groans in response, looking at you. "Can I put it in my mouth this time?" You ask, using that goddamn voice to try and convince him.

"Jesus — no, baby. No mouth." He pants, fighting the words as they leave his mouth.

God, he loves how much you want to suck his cock. He fucking loves it.

You tighten your grip when you feel him pulse, craving more of the sensation.

"Shit — fuck. Like that, baby. Gonna make me cum for you."

When you feel him twitch and you see the first stream of cum spurt out his his tip...

...you forget everything he told you. You notice his eyes closed shut and lower yourself, opening your mouth in front of his tip, drawing a circle around his tip with your tongue.

He doesn't taste as bad as you remembered.

His hips immediately buck into your face, a gutural sound leaving his throat.

"I said no — grunts — fucking mouth, baby. Goddammit." He says, his hips thrusting up, his hand fisting your hair, but not pulling you away.

You keep licking around his tip while he cums, leaking into your mouth and your hand. You don't keep anything in your mouth, letting it all fall down on your hand and his crotch.

You look up at him and find his eyes on you. Instead of feeling shy, though, you smile, sucking around his tip for the first time, and he spurts one last time inside your mouth with a grunt.

"Fuck, baby. Felt so fucking good." He says when you feel him start softening in your hand. He fixes your hair lazily while you lick your lips, drinking what was dripping down your chin. "Doesn't taste gross anymore?" He teases, seeing how focused you are in drinking every drop of him that's on your face.

"Tastes better directly from you." You lie, only taking it into your mouth because you like how he looks at you when you do so, holding back a bitter expression when you taste more and more of his cum.

Although you have to admit... It does taste better than last time.

"Come up here, angel." He calls, pulling you on top of his chest. "You okay?" He asks while looking deep into your eyes.

You nod. Okay is nothing compared to how you feel right now.

You feel like you're floating, like you're in a transe, like jelly.

You kiss his chest, snuggling your face on him.

"Are you feeling better?" He whispers on top of your head, his hot breath on your hair.

"I feel so good, Joel."

"You do? And you're not gonna thank me, baby? I thought you had better manners than that." He teases, laughing softly underneath you, your body going up and down along with his chest.

"Thank you, Joel. Thank you too." You lightly tap his softening cock.

He laughs. There's the sillyness he missed during dinner.

The playfulness he knows he'll miss the most when he leaves you.

If he ever manages to leave you.

"Our honor, baby." He squeezes you tighter and kisses your forehead. You wrap your arms around him, feeling sleepy already.

When he feels you soften on top of him and your breathing get softer, he softly scratches your head.

"Hey, baby. Can't sleep like this. Gotta clean you up." He whispers, rolling you on the bed, on your back, and kissing your pout with a smile before going to your bathroom.

You admire his naked figure. His strong back, his broad — so broad — shoulders, his strong legs. He looks like a sculpture, like a God, almost.

And you'd be lying if you said you couldn't describe what you feel for him as almost devotion.

Your blasphemies are cut when he walks back in, already clean, with a cloth in hands. He climbs on top of the bed and spread your legs, caressing your thighs.

"So pretty." He praises when he cleans you, softly to not hurt you. Laughing when the cloth touches your clit and your body jerks up.

He finishes and kisses your belly, right above your mount, going lower and pressing a kiss on your folds.

"Joel." You moan.

"Sorry, baby. Don't wanna make a mess again." He teases you, lifting himself.

"Can you do it? Put your mouth on her?" You ask, a new spark of arousal hitting you at the thought of his warm mouth on you.

"Can't wait to, baby. But not today. No. Now the only thing you're gonna do is sleep." He puts his pants and his shirt back on before grabbing your panties and your shirt.

He dresses you back up and lie down behind you, spooning you again, his right hand coming underneath your cheek, pillowing it.

You moan at how good it feels to be so close to him. At how vulnerable you can be with him, knowing he won't move one finger unless you're okay with it.

You fall asleep faster than any other night since he arrived, only waking up for a slip second when you feel him carefully letting go of you. And you feel colder, but you know he can't sleep with you.

He presses a kiss to your temple, whispering something muffled before leaving your bedroom.

...

When he lies on his bed he seals his fate. He can't stay way from you. He doesn't want to.

The whisper on your cheeks more a confession to himself than to you.

"I think I love you."

It reverberates in his chest, a feeling he thought could never bloom again in his infertile heart. A feeling only you could sow on him.

Please, please let me know what you think about it. I love reading your thoughts, reblogs, asks and comments on this series 🩷

Hope you liked it, have a wonderful day, besties 🩷🫶🏻

My Masterlist 🩷🪷

Been a long while since part two, so I'm tagging some people that seemed to really like this series so far 🫶🏻

@pedritoferg @cleopatra99 @samsamsantos @thecaptainpandabear @blooodmoonbarnes @yourwinchesterbros @walkintheprk @cruelfvkingsummer @laiisleitte

[ekanatsume]

Keeping these here bc istg finding doksoo people is like seeing kdj not sacrificing himself

I dont really ship ship them but like the potential they have as a couple i-

If youre a doksoo person, please lemme know bc like i can n o t for the love of god find people who ship them. I just wanna cry about them like 😭🙏

[ID: Tiktok screenshots of Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint fanart of Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja overlaid with captions about their relationship. The art featured is by more than one artist, but predominantly by BlackBox. The captions read:

1. han sooyoung once said "me, waiting for someone for decades and decades... you think such a thing is even possible? you crazy fool,"

and then we are told about her endless waiting in kaizenix arc, and how she was fighting her best to stay awake for 13 years in the epilogue, for one person, for someone she thought she never waited for, and then it was revealed that she, again, waited for 4 years for certain someone to wake up from his sleep. she diligently visited him every day during his time in the hospital, making sure he's still alive and well even though his soul has scattered away.

2. orv ebook spoiler?

during kaizenix arc kim dokja wrote a love letter to han sooyoung where he told her "write a'story that's for me andme "alone." little did he know that han sooyoung Would do anything, LITERALLY anything to write a story for him alone. why aren't you by her side when she writes a story for you?

3. kaizenix arc shows how much kim dokja means to han sooyoung. she spent 50 years, literally a lifetime, waiting for him. she hold onto the promise kdj told her, where he said he would find her as soon as possible before they got thrown to kaizenix.

she fought her hardest not to forget him. fighting for 50 years, ALONE. for 50 years, she believed kdj would save her. and she believed kdj would one day read her book to save her. and she never blamed kdj for the 50 years she spent. God. it's a pity we don't talk enough about her struggle in kaizenix.

4. This has to be one of the saddest passages in the entire novel.

I will never shut up about doksoo and their captivating interactions. and how astoundingly excellent Sing Shong's writing is: the emotions, permeated the text, and picturing that particular moment visually came with it naturally.

I was moved to tears by her assumption that it was her fault that he started crying and her quick actions to comfort him because she didn't want to keep seeing him cry

Not to mention how Kim Dokja expressed his emotions, which is as uncommon as him not sacrificing his life for KimCom.

All he wanted was some reassurance; to be told, that he's done the best he could the whole time through

Hsy mghtve comforted him for the wrong reasons, but that completed the job nevertheless.

5. when you realize kim dokja's ■■ is "epilogue" and "eternity" while han sooyoung's ■■ is "neverending story". and towards the end we find out about hsy making a promise to kdj that she will write the epilogue, a story, for kdj until the end of time, for eternity, if that's the only way she could save him…

6. how did you read orv epilogue and think han sooyoung and kim dokja are platonic bc i genuinely thought they were canon after hsy's sacrifices for 13 years, and kdj openly saying he loves her story more than anyone else.

orv theme is basically your story = you

7. the fact that kim dokja had actually fulfilled his promise to read han Sooyoung's "boring" novel that has over 3000 chapters even before they both made promise with each other.. he kept his promise for over than 13 years, without both realizing that fact until hsy regained her memories as tls123, and kdj as od.

8. han sooyoung had seen kim dokja's life at its lowest when she first saw him almost lifeless at the hospital she held his hand, feeling the warmth of the hands that had given up of his life, and she cried. and the first thing. she thought of was how to save him. in mere minutes she decided to damn the whole world for him to live and survive she would never let kim dokja to be in that state ever again, not when she is there for him.

9. the whole twsa is a love letter from han sooyoung to kim dokja. she told him to never give up (ch533), encouraged him to find companions (ch75). described so many disgusting foods as delicious so that he could eat them with ease, and not to mention the whole reason why twsa existed was for him to have a reason to live and survive for another day. she wrote all of this for 13 years, so that he could live BEFORE and AFTER apocalypse. she saved him before anyone else could do it. her love is eternal. End ID]

Thenks to @princess-of-purple-prose I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ALT TEXT AAAAAA. Thenks for doing this ^^

[bibibbon]

MHA chapter 422 rant

For a MCs rising chapter this chapter definitely didn't revolve around the MC in any major way.

Izuku intropsection where, I have never heard of her! This is a major issue I have with how hori writes Izuku. Almost every character at least gets their pov probably said and presented in their rising chapters except of izuku whose own rising chapter felt like a true let down and disappointment to me

Inko is back! I guess. I was way more interested to what was happening to inko when izuku had to go through that whole painful process of losing his quirks and an arm and then regaining it but I guess she stayed in a default status and just crying for her son which understandable but i was expecting more from her. Heck I think I expected too much i thought that hori might do something with her character, something angst worthy. Heck I am seeing the dfo theorist and if it ends up being true then that would be cool angst potential but a horrible canon event considering that hori has stretched this far too long.

Izuku midoriya rising just for izuku to be a side character in this chapter. Like i said this is a rising chapter and we get almost nothing personal from Izuku himself no intropsection no nothing. This chapter was simply full of other characters reactions and trying to help him to get up and do his job which is sad. I don't know but how come no one in the story sees just how unethical and bad the situation is like that's a 16 year old boy running to his death basically on live television. Also Iam enjoying the izu and all might parallels yet Iam worried that this might actually be Izuku's last fight. Also aren't we gonna talk about AFO is attacking izuku with OFA's own quirks I just find it cruel.

Still not a huge fan of everyone needing to get their moments like this. Yeah my opinion didn't change I just felt like the moments and reactions were given to characters like asui and shoji and then we had to continue glossing over them. It feels Hella fast paced and at this point IAM not sure if hori wants to end or prolong the series🤷‍♀️. Also I had to check but can we talk about MOMO AND TORU LIKE !!!!

Melissa and Rody my favourites and Iam bias.

I wish we had more of ochako, iida and izu. Again another moment falls flat in there seires because we lack build up and development. I liked ochakos comment and the parallels with iida holding izu's hand and still holding it again but all of this seems empty because the original nerdy tiro that we had at the beginning of the series was scrapped for the boring todoroki, bakugo and izuku one. Heck we could of had an izucrew/dekusquad and that would of helped with the build up of this unlike what's going on now .

Bakugo didn't need to be mentioned in this chapter but he is 😑. As far as anyone can tell Iam not a fan of bakugo and I don't think he needed to be mentioned like the guy got his arc and whatever so why don't we just focus on the current situation instead of thinking about how we wished he was here with Izuku and all like it felt pretty useless.

In conclusion, it was an average meh chapter but I got annoyed considering the title being midoriya rising for it to not have any proper focus on midoriya.

Like I absolutely loved some of the character moments even though they lacked build up and were short AF but this chapter DOESN'T deserve to be called midoriya's rising.

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Rakes never cry

Paring: joshua x fem!reader

Genre: angst, regency!au

warnings: mentions of sex

summary: idk its just sad

words: 817

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask.

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Someone needs to tell Joshua that whatever he is seeing is wrong, that it’s not your form that is dancing with the man so closely on the floor.

It has been almost a year since he last saw you and he never thought that this is how the reunion with you would happen. But what rights does he have to stop you from dancing with this man you are enamored with, so enamored that you can barely shift your eyes away from him.

He thinks back to the time when it was him holding you that close, twirling you around the ballroom and hearing your beautiful laughs and talking to you in hushed whispers about some gossip he heard while playing poker with the other dukes.

Listening to you laugh when recounted an exceptionally funny story from his recent trip.

He thinks about all the nights he spent with you lying on a haystack at the back of his stable, smoking a cigar and talking about life and even though it was not the most ideal place to have heartfelt conversations, you both somehow made it work.

As he looks you, he notices how you at Jeonghan like he arranged in the stars in the night sky for you, like all the galaxy you hold your eyes were just stars burning with love for the man. He realizes that one year is indeed a long time, and a whole lot has changed in just a mere span of 365 days.

It took him just one afternoon to confess that he never loved you, that you were merely a fascination to him due to the off-limits nature of your relationship. It took him just one afternoon to throw away all those nights of laughter, all the evenings of passionate love making behind the theater while his friends were busy indulging in the new melodious shows with their betrothed or wives.

The thought of losing his status of as the nonchalant Casanova was too much for his foolish boyish mind to accept so he did what he was the best at he fled from the conflict. Never the one to think about consequences, or even about anyone but him, he could never fathom the great pain he caused you by leading you on and not only jeopardizing your probable engagement with other potential suitors but also make you the butt of all the apathetic gossip of the older women.

The minute he felt the presence of something brewing between the two of you that felt like it had deeper meanings than what he is accustomed to, he boarded on the first ship to Caribbean, to be as far away for you as he physically can. Only he never underestimated how strong the brewed feeling actually were.

Not one day went on his voyage when he did not think of you, even when he tried his very best to put the you named thought out of his head. Nights of intoxication and passion became a norm for him during his trip and new destinations and people kept him busy.

But still as he looked out of his cabin at the dusky setting sun, he felt the innate need to hold you close to him, to hear you voice calling out to him while he is beneath you making you feel levels of bliss you didn’t know you were capable of experiencing.

So, when he hopped off that ship on the coast of England the only name that echoed in his mind was yours. He knew he had made a mistake, but he had hoped that you would let it slide, that you would take him back into your loving arms like you always did.

But it seems like faith was reluctant to give him a second chance as he noticed you in the first ball of the season and realized that you had been successfully swept off your feet by someone else who was not him. As much as he would have loved to fight for you, he realized he had lost the battle even before it started, when he had left you stranding alone in the park with your bloodied torn heart on the palm of your hand and the emotions slowly bleeding out of your eyes.

Maybe he would have tried to jeopardize your relationship with Jeonghan, if not for the fact the man went ahead and collected all the pieces of your heart and sewed them together for you and filled those eyes that he hollowed out with the most beautiful galaxy that Joshua had ever seen.

Maybe if he had more courage, he would have tried to get you back but he doesn’t so he will stand here and toast you both and make sure his eyes don’t show too much emotions for he still has the reputation of a rake to hold up and rakes don’t cry.

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A/n; again i hope you guys liked it.

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

Im just gonna allow myself to yap about supernatural and see where destiny takes me. SIDENOTE IF U WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS WITH ME LITERALLY PLEASE I WANT TO PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME.

Okay first of all im starting with the start (s1+2). BEST LIGHTING TO MOOD EVER EVER EVER. Like you want dark scary monsters??? ITS THERE. I remember there being a reason they changed the lighting (smugly: yes i listen to the podcast) but i CANT REMEMBER. The characterisation of the macho eldest son coded scared eldest daughter Dean is unreal and parallel in epicness to repressed queer allegory something is inherently wrong with him little brother. The brief moments of emotional vulnerability. Dont get me STARTED on Dean's monologue in the s2 finale i'll start crying. It's crazy how rude john is to Dean like excuse me he raised your kid and now ur bitching about him? Try saying thank you for once. I think the only reason john actually said im proud of you was because he realised when azazel said it dean was like "ur not my dad" and to john it was a little "oh shit" moment. Sam has every right to be angry but every time he gets angry at dean something in me shatters a little because deans trying so hard for himself and sam and sam doesnt know who or how to lash out (emotional dysregulation baybee) so aims for deans jugular like nooo honeyyyy noooooo. This era was the best sam in my opinion.

Rest of the show down here:

Onto S3-5. Cant remember jack about season 3. Season 4 CASTIEL MY BELOVED MY LIGHT MY LIFE MY REASON FOR LIVING. Absolutely loved everything about Weird Cas and i wanted more of him why did they have to domesticate him. His and Deans dynamic was impeccable and yk something??? I wanted to see Dean in hell torturing people i wanted to see it on his face how much he hated that he enjoyed it and i wanted to see Cas' face at watching the righteous man lose. Like the best we got was Yellow Fever GOD I LOVED THAT bit when he was hallucinating the book and it said "you gonna cry?" Like so many people think thats a funny episode but it makes me so sad because he is DYING and from such a young age hes been told to stow it away, lock it down to the point hes HALLUCINATING IT. Cas falling for dean. Im sorry i just. They are the best love story. LUCIFER. He was scarier back then, but i do love later seasons lucy too. Something about the peeling skin and the "we will always end up right here" just slapped. ENDVERSE EPSIODE god so good can we just take a moment to think about it. Okay cool thanks okay. Demon blood Sam arc was fun but had unfulfilled potential. Cant give you specifcs rn its late and my brain needs to get this all out so if you know you know. The whole meta stuff with Chuck was eh until he was confirmed as god and then i was like duuude the faint strings of marionettes are glistening in the sunrise like how do we know --- im getting ahead of myself.

S6-11. I know, its a big chunk. But basically the whole thing could be renamed "Crowley's unrequited love story". Cas and crowley were the best duo i almost forgot like they are genuinely so funny together and i bet it would be great to be tortured by them UMM THE BETRAYAL i honestly loved Cas' episode the only thing i didn't like was how the reveal itself was done like... Idk just a bit... Kryptonite???? Anywho i Loved the tension between Dean and Cas DEAN LOOKED BACK. Um leviathans were my favourite monster but they became so dumbbbb after washing up liquid killed them. BOBBYS EPISODE ALWAYS MAKES ME SOB MY EYES OUT "i raised two boys and they became heroes" allow me to DIE. Also damn impressed a shot to the head didnt take him down but it was lovely to see Deans first world, first solid rock properly crumble around him (forgetting john okay he wasnt a healthy rock) . PURGATORY DEAN JDJSJDJDJD kill me please his fight or flight mode was SO. So sad we didnt get more of purgatory like i would pay to see more i would kill probably but we'll overlook that. Benny my beloved. They definitely all got together Cas included like who wouldnt at that point. Smth i didnt like is how wheneer they went back to purgatory, unlike how dean described it "360 battle 24/7" or some shit like that it was EMPTY. Like please,, i know the plot needs convenience BUT PURGATORY ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE CONVENIENT. But dean recrafting his own memories to make himself believe that he failed to save Cas rather than what he perceived as Cas giving up on him- hang on i dropped my jaw somewhere, gimme a sec i need to go find it-- LIKE. HHHH. The whole mind control shit going on with Cas because his ties to Dean had been severed (saw a post about that and loved it but cant rmb it) and HIM BEING THE ONE TO BREAK IT. The crypt scene mmmm i love. Want more. Mark of Cain dean was literally my favourite. A violent, mentally unstable man who also has bad mental health and is often covered in blood? Yes pls. Cas being with him every step of the way. I havent mentioned Sam in a while. Hes just kind of been there. Hate that he slowly became 2D. Far away in the background hes got his worried expression and is rocking, saying "Dean? Dean? Cas? Jack? Dean?" Like writers why did u strip his personality except for worry. Do Not get me started on the whole Amelia thing ill stab someone. But yeah cas saying he'll watch dean murder the world is my universe :). If someone said that to me id say "omg really?" And develop a huge fat crush (somehow). CHARLIE DYING WAS AN ABOMINATION When they brought back Eileen why not charlie like. Dont bring characters back at this point because theres all sorts of issues grr. Amara was cool af but i didnt like the whole amara x dean stuff because it was just weird. Luciferrrrr hes so girlypop i love him DEAN DIDNT KNOW IT WASNT CAS but thats only because lucy purposefully wore less clothes around him to distract him.

S12-14. Im running out of steam. MARYYY. It hurt to see Sam get along with Mary becsuse he never knew her as anything else while all dean wanted was a mom and that wasnt who she really was anymore. He loved her so much but couldnt break through that barrier of "it wasnt the perfect marriage until after she died" vibes. God that scene in s5 where its suggested dean saw +/ smelled what happened to Mary and he was literally backing himself into a corner BROKE me. Havent mentioned the Wayward sisters but please know they are so important to me they are my everything. Jack is also. Loved Kelly, very sad she had to die. Wanted Jack to be a baby but thats not good for television is it. But i love Jack so much hes such a sweetie who can kill with a thought. Alternate universe michael and Michael!Dean was epic af but michael dying like that was so anticlimactic gonna be honest i think they were just reaching for ways to lose Jacks soul. Garth GARTH!!! Hes so cute. I loved all those "hand recorded" episodes btw like ghostfacers and that one teen wolf type stuff. Dean hiding in his room is so me. Free Will Theory is so fucked up at this point ur sat there saying gods been pulling the strings this whole time and i supposed to be okay with it?? I so get why deans angry but i definitely think thats something Chuck emphasised (crappy excuse for crappy writing) to an extreme level because WHAT. Like dude. I cant even describe how out of character he felt at some times.

S15. Currently rewatching and cant rmb much of it. 3 characters dead in the first 3 episodes. They either kill off all side characters or we dont hear from them at all to tie up or shove away loose ends. I cant even talk abiut the finale please i cant rn im way too tired. It straight up didnt need to exist, it could've only been 19 eps. Cas. Castiel. He did want you my darling.

[questionableratatouille00]

ʜɪɢʜᴡᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ ᴄʜ. 4

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: In an effort to get the two of you to bond, Tony Stark sends you and the ex-assassin Bucky Barnes on a road trip together. The problem? You hate each other. The situation? Two weeks in a car together. The reward: three days of a resort vacation. And the problem? He's kinda cute.

Warnings (Entire Series): Enemies-to-lovers, cursing, sexual tension, angst, fluff, crying, fighting, violence, chaos, mentions/talk of trauma, discussions of mental health, and potentially more.

Warnings: Enemies-to-lovers, cursing, sexual tension, reader wears lipstick and mascara, heels, and a dress, mentions of death, insecurity on Bucky's part, crying (reader), arguments, blood, dancing, eating and food, reader throws a punch at Bucky, mentions of Bucky not doing so well, mentions of Bucky's trauma in general, and Bucky is probably written wrong. (Trying my best lmao)

A/n: Sorry the updates for this are so inconsistent- I can't commit to an update schedule. My requests are always open for almost every Avenger, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about the series! I'd like to build up my collection of stories before I set up a masterlist. Thank you for reading!

||Part 3|| Part 4 || Part 5

[Series Masterlist]

---------------------------------------------

𝑻𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔, 𝑻𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕

🄳🄰🅈 2, 🄽🄸🄶🄷🅃

You pulled him to the food stand, excitedly looking around the little square. People from well into their nineties to kids who couldn't be older than five were all dressed up. You and Bucky blended in incredibly well.

"What do you think you're gonna get?" You asked Bucky, intending to pay.

"Not sure. Might just get a burger and fries."

"That sounds good. I'm not sure what I want yet. Everything looks amazing."

When the family in front of you got their food and left, you quickly made your decision, and Bucky made his. Just as you were about to put your card into the card swipe machine, Bucky beat you to it. When you opened your mouth to argue, Bucky gave you a sharp glare, silently telling you to shut the fuck up.

“I was going to—“ You begin, but he cuts you off quickly. “I got it.” He paid quickly for the meal, before leading you off to a table. There were a bunch of circle tables set up in a rectangle. In the center, people danced in small circles or in sets of twos.

Setting the plastic baskets on the table, Bucky pulled out a chair for you. “What a gentleman.” You tease, and he just rolls his eyes.

The band played covers of old songs, and you couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky recognizes any of them.

Once the both of you wolfed down the delicious food, you looked around. The band was loud, so you had to talk at a slightly louder volume than normal. There were lots of couples, ranging from elderly couples slowly swaying together, to newlyweds quickly moving and bouncing to the upbeat music. You noticed Stacy, the long-haired brunette who worked at the Brandon Center. She was in her own baby blue 40’s dress, which paired well with her hair and bright green eyes.

She was standing at a table in front of her Aunt Brenda, and Barbara from the hotel. Her grandma and her great aunt live up here, you remember. She’d said so at the store. Barbara and Brenda were also dressed up, smiling and laughing at something Stacy said. Stacy was standing, but Barbara and Brenda were sitting together.

You looked to Bucky who was zoning out. “You alright there?” You asked, and he snapped his gaze up to meet yours.

“Fine.” He assured. "Dance with me."

"What?" You look at him, bewildered.

"Dance with me." He repeats, standing up before pulling you out of your chair by your hands. "Why are you--" He pulls you to the makeshift dance floor, before pulling you close to him.

"Shut up and dance with me."

"Y'know, that's a song." You felt it was important to note this.

"Weird." He states, before he glances past you, his eyes narrowing.

"If looks could kill." You commented, and he focused back on you. "Who're you looking at?"

"The douchebag who's been staring at you for the past eight minutes." When you turned your head to look back, Bucky stepped to the side, forcing you to swing your body to avoid being crashed into.

"You've been watching him?" You thought it was weird that the guy who hated your guts seemingly wanted to keep you safe.

"Shut up." He glared at you, before he continued to sway with you to the rhythm of the song.

"I thought you said you couldn't dance."

"I said that I didn't. Not that I couldn't." He muttered, before spinning you.

You instantly recognized the opening notes of 'It's Been a Long, Long Time', and you look to Bucky, who also seemed to recognize it.

You laugh as the two of you continue to sway to the music together, before the song ends. Bucky keeps his hands on your hips, your hands on his shoulders. “I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. You’re not that bad.” You grin goofily. “You’re not so bad either.” Bucky looked at you, a small grin on his face.

“Friends?”

“Something like that. You’re a punk.”

“And you’re a dick.” You shot back.

It was impossible to miss how all of the couples close to you glance at Bucky's hand, clearly metal against your red dress.

"They're all staring at me like I'm some kind of monster." He mutters darkly, beginning to pull away. You pull him closer. "Who gives a shit.”

“I do. Tony does. The Avenger’s PR team does.” He retorted.

“Okay, smart ass.” You rolled your eyes, before glancing around. One old guy was staring at Bucky, as were the surrounding groups of people. “We can go, if you want. My feet kinda hurt.” You lied, hoping that if you gave a reason to go, he’d feel better about agreeing. When he gave you a simple nod, you smiled. You lead him to the truck, taking him by the hand. Once you reached it, you stepped down off the curb, opening the passenger door.

“That was..fun. For you, right? Like, you’re doing okay?” You asked after a few minutes. Everybody in the tower knew about Bucky’s nightmares and night terrors. Whether it was from hearing him scream late in the night or in the earliest hours of the morning, or if it was from being the one to wake him up from them a few times. It was just something that nobody talked about. Noticing his expression, you began to worry. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” He grimaced.

“Don’t bullshit me, Barnes.”

“It’s none of your business. Drop it.”

“Is that what you tell Steve?”

Bucky’s eyes leave the road for a moment as he stares at you.

“Watch the road.”

“I am.” He grumbles. “And it’s still none of your business.”

“Buck, he wants to help you.” You try and convince him of this, but he’s barely listening. “Drop it, L/n.” He was holding on to the steering wheel so tight that the knuckles of his right hand were white.

“I’m not gonna ‘drop it’, Barnes! You need help and clearly you’re not getting it!” You shouted, and he responded by slamming on the breaks, letting you slam your hands into the dashboard.

He turned in his seat to look at you. “And how would you know? What, like you’re my goddamn best friend or some shit? You’re fucking not. We aren’t even friends!”

Of course you knew that you weren’t friends. Obviously. But you didn’t need the bitchy Bucky Barnes to remind you. Seething, you decided that you were done with this shit, and you didn’t care what Nat or Tony had to say about it.

“No fucking shit! Thank you so much, Sherlock Holmes! And for once, you’re actually right! I’m not your friend! Thank you for making that clear for me. In fact, I’m so grateful that I’ll give you what you've wanted since the beginning, you bitch!” You unbuckle your seatbelt, before pressing the ‘unlock’ button.

Hopping out of the truck, Bucky began to copy you. “You can’t leave!” He said, and his tone sounded like he was accusing you of something. You responded by sticking both middle fingers up near your chest. “Watch me!” You slammed the door shut, before walking back towards the town. You were too busy arguing with him to notice that he’d been driving the wrong way.

The air was cold away from the warm lighting and moving bodies of the tiny town square. Though you’d been lying before, your feet really did start to hurt now. You weren’t positive if it was because of the uneven road or just having on heels for a while.

You made it maybe fifteen quick steps away before you heard Bucky’s door slam shut. His shoes made noise against the road. Before he could say anything, you whirled around to face him. He stopped, five feet away from you. He opened his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it.

"Have you ever considered that maybe it's you? Everyone keeps leaving you and you keep acting surprised. It's because you push them away, James! You push them away!" Your voice becomes shrill at the end of your statement. "You push Nat away, you push Sam away, you push Clint away! Wanda, Tony, Pepper, Scott, Peter, Thor, Loki, Rhodey, Yelena, Kate. You shut them all out! You push Steve away! You pushed me away!"

He flinches at the mention of Steve. "You don't understand." Bucky called out, looking up and to the side.

"Then explain it to me then, Bucky. Explain it!" It was more of a begging shout than an angry one. "What, are you worried that he'll leave you or some shit? Cause he's not! I followed him halfway across the world for you!"

"He's the only person who's left! He's all I've got left, the last good thing I have!"

"Probably because you refuse to do anything but glare at everybody else! So you can go ahead and be by yourself! Serves you right!" You spin around, beginning to walk back to town again. You're too angry to check if he's still following you.

You find out once you feel a hand on your shoulder. Filled with rage, you spin around and punch him right in the face. You regret it immediately as you feel the stinging pain in your fist.

He lets out a loud 'fuck!' as he clutches his jaw. His brows furrow and he looks up at you, eyes wide and furious. You know you've fucked up. Quickly kicking off your shoes, you turn and race down the road, knowing that he was right behind you. Shit, shit, shit, you repeated in your head.

When you realized that running in a straight line wasn't the best idea, you veered off to the side, and you paused when you felt your bare feet halfway in dirt, your heels still on the uneven asphalt. However, stopping so suddenly in the dark caused Bucky to crash right into, sending you both tumbling downward. It would've been fine, had there not been a huge hill four feet away from the road.

The two of you fell down the huge hill, holding onto each other for dear life. You cursed Tony for choosing a route that involved tiny towns in the kind-of-almost mountains. When it was over, you both laid there for a moment. Bucky had landed on top of you, and you struggled to breathe. Shoving him off of you, you stared up into the starry sky. Something about it made you want to take back what you'd thought about Tony. At least the sky was pretty.

You got up at the same time he did. The two of you looked at each other, tense. You weren't sure if he was still pissed about the whole punching-him-thing. But God, the fall hurt. Your head hurt. Your back hurt. As did your legs and arms and face and literally almost every part of you.

"Fuck you, Barnes." Was all you said, before you began walking forward. You'd tumbled just far enough that you were basically in the forest, but you could still see the hill you fell from. You were insanely dizzy, but the pain of the bottom of your feet stepping on pine needles, sticks, stones, and other weird forest floor things grounded you. You followed the hill in the direction you assumed the town was in. Bucky did not follow.

You walked for maybe fifteen minutes, only tripping twice. You had a few scratches on your arms that bled a little bit, but the reason your left leg hurt so much was most likely from the huge scratch on the side of it. The actual cut went from just under your knee to the middle of your leg, but the long line of blood that flowed from it made it look like it went down all the way to the bottom of your foot.

When the dizziness and pain was too much, you gave in and sat up against a tree. You felt like Katniss Everdeen from the first The Hunger Games book.

God, today had been shitty. Well, the night had been shitty. You felt horrible, both physically and mentally. You regretted picking the fight with Bucky. You regretted forcing him to go to that stupid fucking dance anyway. You regretted even stopping in this stupid town. Tears welled up in your eyes as you reconsidered every choice you'd ever made. You sat under a tree, sobbing quietly, for what felt like years. Eventually you got tired of it, and you decided to just look up.

The sky was beautiful. It was the kind of dark, starry sky that had splashes of blue in it. It was like someone had water colored it. You knew you weren't going to die. You're an Avenger, goddamn it.

The sound of sticks breaking tore you from your thoughts. You believed it was a wild animal, at first. But even with the darkness, you could tell who it was. Bucky Barnes, the one hundred and six year-old Super Soldier.

"Don't act like you're not happy to see me like this." You called out as he stepped closer.

"Your mascara's smudged. Makes you look like a raccoon." He says quietly.

"Yeah. I know." You probably rubbed at your face more than once.

He was close enough that you could see his face. He looked..remorseful.

"Don't look at me like you're sorry. You're not sorry."

He said nothing, but you could tell he disagrees. He stood beside you, and he was quiet for a moment.

"Your leg is bleeding." He said, pointing it out.

“Oh really? I didn’t notice that half of my goddamn blood is flowing out of my leg, but thank you for letting me know.”

“It’s not half of your blood, L/n.” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry. For punching you.” You say quietly. “I don’t regret what I said, though. It’s true. They all..we all want to help you. But we can’t because—“

“I know.” He cuts you off. “I’m sorry too.”

“Do you have any idea where the truck is?” You ask, and he responds by pointing behind him. Great, you thought. You’d been walking the wrong way the whole time.

“You sure?” He nods in response. “The serum made my eyesight better. I can kind of see in the dark.” He explained. You nodded, sighing. You watched in confusion as he began taking off his jacket.

“I’m sure you’d make a wonderful stripper but I really don’t need you to prove it to me—“

“What? No. This is for your leg.” He begins to wipe up the blood, and you make a hiss-like sound once he applies a little too much pressure to the actual cut.

“Sorry.” He mutters. “It’s only gonna keep bleeding if you walk on it. I’ll carry you.”

“What? Hell no. No. I’ll-“ You’re interrupted by Bucky scooping you up and holding you against his back.

“I am not piggyback riding a Super Soldier. Period.” You protested, but he began walking, leaving you no choice but to hang on. “You’re the worst.” Mumbling that into his shoulder, you trusted that he was leading you in the right direction.

You made it to the truck, and Bucky sat you in the passenger seat. You drove in silence all the way back to the hotel. You finally got a look at yourself in the mirror, and you nearly laughed. You looked crazy.

When you finally got to the hotel, Bucky began to help you to the elevator.

You walked past Barbara, and she stopped you. “Are you alright there, sweetheart?”

“Oh, yes.” You lied. “I ended up getting a bit of dirt in my eyes.”

“Alright. You two make a beautiful couple.” She smiled.

“Oh, no—we’re not—uhm. No.” You rushed out.

“Oh. I’m sorry. Have a good night.” She said, beginning to look back at her desk. “You too.” You said quietly, looking down at your feet.

Getting up to the right floor, Bucky helped you into your room, and you grabbed the first-aid kit. You mentally thanked Kate and Steve, who insisted you bring it. It didn’t take much to clean up all the little scratches on your arms and legs, and even the larger scratch didn’t take much effort. You showered and changed as Bucky did the same in his room. You kept the doors between your rooms open, just in case either of you needed anything.

Finally comfortable in your pajamas, you sighed as you sat at the foot of your bed. You considered watching the TV that faced your bed, but your exhaustion won against it.

“You alright?” Bucky said from the doorframe, snapping you from your thoughts.

“Fine.” You mumbled. “Tired.”

He nodded. “Me too. I’m gonna..head to bed. Good night.” He turned, beginning to walk back into his room.

“Stay? With..me?” You hated how small you sounded. You felt like one of those girls from romance novels. Or from internet stories about celebrities and whatnot. You’d said it quietly, after he’d walked back into his own room. He hadn’t even heard you. Maybe it was for the best.

You didn’t really mind it once you crawled under the covers, flipping the light switch on the lamp next to your bed. Today hadn’t even felt real. And it was only the second day of the trip. Damn.

---------------------------------------------

(My apologies if your blog couldn't be tagged- I have no idea why it won't work.)

Taglist: @afraidofshrimp @laughterafter @cjand10 @kandis-mom @emmsybucky @mrsnotfeelingsogood @matchat3a

[mvmnbnv]

You seem pretty sensible so I'd be curious to hear your thoughts, if you're up for it?

Don't know about you, but I'm at a point where I'm just too stressed over all the things we've been teased about for s2 (whether Arcane trailers or LoL's game trailers, the merch). I see people fighting over Jinx&Vi and Cait/Vi all over the place and, though I want both to work out, I'm more worried about what the writers will do with Vi herself, outside of her relationships with them. Because right now, it looks like pain and more pain and it breaks my heart to see her like this.

I'm soooo worried about her and her arc. I've had this theory for the longest time that she prophetised her own trajectory with what she accused Vander of in s1, that she herself will become "comfortable living in someone else's shadow". Vi's character has been kinda stagnant since Arc 2 because S1 was mostly about building up to Powder fully becoming Jinx, and Vi's core motivation centered around saving Powder. In a way, her own path was for someone else, not herself.

With what we've got so far, it seems that the writers will do the same in s2 but her new motivation will be helping/protecting Caitlyn which I feel won't be nearly as impactful as it was with Jinx and worse, it might make Vi feel like she has no real agency of her own except pick herself apart for other people? It's not super compelling for a story arc.

Cait and Jinx seem to be getting arcs that really revolve around them and Vi is not really needed for either of those arcs. Cait is set on revenge, and Jinx has become a symbol for freedom. Those are interesting arcs that can truly change and develop those characters and I'm really excited for those. But Vi? Every glimpse we've seen so far has her linked to other characters (heck, her new skin apparently has her crying eating a cupcake ffs). She might become an enforcer for Cait, I fear she might be fighting Jinx for Cait also, and then she goes on a self-destructive path where she hallucinates Cait.

Which btw... On the surface, the pit-fighter clip seems super interesting, a culmination of everything that Vi is struggling with, all the pain she's endured finally catching up to her and swallowing her whole... On the surface you see how much Vi is suffering ... BUT with the small signs liking her spiral to Cait and their potential break-up... well it worries me that the spiral is actually mostly about Cait which would be complete BS, honestly. I hope they go way deeper than that because Vi deserves her trauma to be explored with care and be about HER, not about someone else.

My point is, from where I stand, it seems like Vi shifted from yearning/living for Powder to yearning for Cait and ... well I hope the writers went much further than that and gave Vi a story of her own that doesn't involve her being torn up between Cait and Jinx over and over again. And if they do that after the pit-fighter clip, the writers are heading to a place where Vi won't be stuck in other people's shadow and starts living for herself. I do think this is what they are going for, though.

With that said, I do have a good feeling that Vi will absolutely shine in Act 3, once the Noxus vs PnZ kicks in, because she is the unifying bridge between Jinx and Cait and thus Piltover and Zaun. I just hope it's not going to be misery porn until that point though.

Is that really too much to ask?

(pfiou, sorry for the rant, hope you have a good day/night though)

hello! thanks for being interested in the thoughts of lil old me!

honestly im probably where you are right now for a lot of reasons. And if im being honest i could barely even stand how they wrote vi last szn, and the points you brought up (i didnt know about the whole vi skin crying eating a cupcake tho) make me worried for her.

Last szn she was practically spineless when it came to jinx and it was so annoying to watch. jinx was at a point where she'd almost killed her and literally kidnaps her and drives her so mad she starts screaming and cursing at her by the end and you mean to tell me vi's just all "aaw powder its okaay" by the end??? uh no...if i was vi and spent all that time looking for you and trying to mend our relationship only for you to have almost killed me and be warmed up to the man that killed my dad...nah id be livid. theres so reason vi shouldnt be upset with her by the end, but instead shes just sad about it... like bro she should be angry for so many reasons. ofc shell always love her sister, and i want it that way, but she has every right to be mad at her.

and the way her character revolves around cait this szn from the looks of things is equally irritating. like vis depressed and losing her shit hallucinating cait and cait only...which already feels like a red flag in where they wanna go with her. what about powder and how she failed her in her mind? what about vander and how she possibly dissapointed him in her mind? what about her parents hell?? how she probably failed them too in her mind? there are so many different ppl for her to be thinking about that would give her agency but no...just cait...they were even going to put a cupcake on the back of her biker jacket, which everyone thought was cute, but i thought it was one, annoying, and two, super frustrating, which made me glad they didnt, but the fact they even thought about it is just...like theres no way in hell cait hasnt probably fucked her up emotionally with this whole crusade for jinx, but one of the thoughts that go through their head is that?? and the way they did her with jinx last szn makes me not hopeful in that regard if cait has hurt her. and amanda's thing for "unrequited love", or at least explaining how she listened to a song about it while writitng for them and that was the exact reason why she liked it...i might actually throw up...no hate to her directly but fuck...

my hope is that they acknowledge this as the character flaw that it is. my hope is that i end up feeling about her how i felt about armin from aot at first. he annoyed me at one point, but it was only because he was out of his element. once he stepped into what he was supposed to be doing, he became one of my favorites and i rooted for him every step of the way. vi is already my favorite but that fact makes me irritated with the way they write her. but back to my hopes for her i hope it isnt like this forever. ive made posts about it before but i want her to realize that she cant please everyone and do what SHE thinks is best. i want her to do things for her own reasons. as far as her living in the shadows, i dont think it will be forever. she's literally piltovers enforcer and arcane is about how we get to that point. she'll probably wind up doing something that makes them see her as their hero like how jinx did with zaun. it could even be done the same way where she doesnt give a flying fuck about the city but it just happens that she did something that they found revolutionary anyway. we see her and ekko fighting noxus in the trailer and her carrying someone on her back while rushing away from noxian arrows, so maybe it has to do with that. but yea i just pray for her character this szn

[psychiccent]

The Elephant in The Room: Frederica

I almost made this as a post for Shinkane week but wanted to keep the attention primarily on my fav Psycho couple. The Frederica/Kogami situation might be worrisome for some shippers, but I absolutely ADORE watching the interactions play out between these two characters. When analyzing, we can spot key differences in how both relationships are handled/developed by our PP Overlords.

It is safe to say that Frederica harbors an attraction for Ko... THAT aspect of the story, the writers have made no secret of. Poor Tenzing had to witness Frede pull out the big guns in their initial meeting, noting the arch of Frede's back/chest as she bent forward to interact with Ko. There is even a scene in the Sinners novelization wherein Frederica sets the mood for SOMETHING to happen between them using body language and a suggestive tone. During this scene, we learn something vital about the current dynamic that exists between these two: The attraction felt here is running on a one-way street, with no reciprocation in sight from Ko. What DOES Kogami end up doing in this situation? An obviously attractive woman, neutral in standing for now, is exhibiting a keen interest in getting closer to you. It's an easy way for the writers to establish the potential for chemistry and yet... Deciding that he doesn't know WHAT to make of all that Frederica is silently offering, Ko settles for simply ignoring the obvious and the scene ends shortly after. I believe this serves as another callback to Ko not being a casual fling type of guy. These interactions (and many others) help reinforce the idea that Kogami is not a man easily swayed by traditional beauty standards, despite the man's knack for letting his instincts reign supreme in most situations.

That scene was a bit of a missed opportunity, don't you think? There is another moment wherein Ko introduces Frede as someone from his home country, and we have another male gaze in the room posed to appreciate the obvious appeal that Frede brings to the table. In this scene, writers could have taken it a tiny step further (if this was truly their intent to establish SOMETHING here) and have the merc outright assume that Frede was Ko's woman. But no such conclusions were drawn, no implications of Ko enjoying his newfound company or missing home...nada. The same can't be said for Akane and Ko, whom have enemies nicknaming Akane 'JULIET' of all things, Shion sounding the alarm anytime those two are together, or the fact that Gino's reactions to their (Akane and Ko's) ACTIONS speaks volumes.

Kogami strikes me as a man with a desire for both understanding AND intimacy when it comes to potential partners, and the life Ko has led so far has not been ideal for cultivating that kind of love/connection. We see, through Ko and Frede's interactions that they function well as a unit/team but are still learning about one another. Whatever level of intimacy/understanding that Ko needs to share with his potential love interest is (whoever that may be *COUGHAKANECOUGH*), Frede is a far cry from being able to qualify in that particular category. Frede's dynamic with Kogami is, in my opinion, what a proper Inspector/Enforcer relationship SHOULD have been like between Ko and Akane (with less emphasis on the obvious attraction undertones, of course) and when looking at these two relationships from that perspective, the parallels we can observe are very telling.

I also can't help but mention that in supplementary PP content (I believe it was a game?) , it is stated that Ko is not a fan of having people/girls hanging off of, or otherwise pining over him... they even joke and say that it's the other way around and Akane is shocked to discover this "side" of Ko. I will take that with a grain of salt, but it certainly checks out with what we have seen so far, don't ya think? Is it impossible for Kogami and Frederica to wind up together? of course not, anything can happen! But color me surprised if that is the direction the writers decide to take.

[missnxthingg]

Just for Tonight | Xavier Thorpe

Summary: Xavier Thorpe might not be best friends with (Y/N), but when he sees her crying at the Rave'N, he couldn't help it but go talk to her

A/N: So might obsession with Xavier Thorpe and Wednesday might've gone too far. So this is my fanfic comeback - in another fandom. I still don't have a taglist for Xavier, but let me know if you want to be tagged in future potential fics. OH, AND PLEASE SEND ME REQUESTS FOR HIM! I wanna write, but I don't have inspos right now. (EDIT: If it wasn't explicit enough, I DO NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO REPOST MY STORIES ON ANY OTHER ACCOUNTS. If you wanna read my stories on Wattpad, you can follow me there [@missnxthingg])

Words: 2.5K

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Female!Reader

Warnings: Not proof read, so there might be some typos. I think there might be a few cursings. But other than that, just a little bit of enemies to lovers that we're all found of

main masterlist | main blog | taglist

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Xavier Thorpe hated (Y/N) (Y/L/N). That wasn't news to anyone in Nevermore. He hated how smart she was and how she seemed to be friends with everyone around her. He got easily annoyed with her mere presence in the room. But tonight, something different sparkled inside him when he saw her leaving the room crying.

She had been excited for the Rave'N since they announced a date. She got even more excited when Harry McGowan invited her as his date. Enid dragged her and Wednesday for a shopping spree, where she found a beautiful baby blue dress. Everything was perfect, until Harry dumped her right after they arrived at the dance for one of Yoko's vampire friends.

(Y/N)'s golden and happy aura dissipated immediately after those words came out of Harry's mouth. She ran out of the room with tears in her eyes. She just didn't count that Xavier Thorpe was sitting alone at a table, watching the whole thing unfold in front of his eyes. 

After a huge fight with his father, he decided he wasn't in the mood to invite someone to the dance as a date. Actually, he was only sitting there because Ajax would kill him if he didn't tag along. But when his best friend got occupied with his own date, Xavier was left sipping on virgin punch, that tasted more like cough syrup, on the dining table

So when (Y/N) ran across the room, something clicked inside Xavier's head. His chest got heavy and he immediately shot up from his seat and ran after her. She was crying alone in the corner, sitting on the floor close to the toilets.

He ducked in front of her, who now had her face between her knees, shielding it from anyone else to see her crying. But Xavier let a hand fly to her shoulder, making (Y/N) look up.

"Hey, are you okay?" His voice sounded softer than any of the other times he talked to her. Anyone could hear how worried Xavier was at that moment. (Y/N) looked up and found his piercing green eyes observing her with attention.

"No." She admitted, crying a little bit harder. "But I don't think you would like to hear about it. You can't stand me, after all."

"Come on, you're crying. I would never, ever, walk away from you like this." He said. "And I don't hate you, even if you don't believe it. Maybe you could try pretending I'm a friend to you."

(Y/N) stayed silent, looking at his face to decide what to do, until she nodded "Harry McGowan ditched me for one of Yoko's friends. Said she was hotter and that he didn't want to be my date anymore."

"What a fucking asshole, I'm gonna beat the shit out of him." Xavier's jaw clenched and he quickly shot up to go talk to Harry. But (Y/N) ran after him and held him by the elbow.

"No, Xavier! Please, it would be worse to end the night at Weems' office talking about what happened." She said and his eyes softened when he saw that she was crying harder now. (Y/N)'s eyeliner was smudged, almost ruining the soft, but pretty, makeup she was wearing.

"Do you have eyeliner with you?" He asked and she nodded, pointing to her purse. "Okay, let's go find a restroom."

Fortunately, the men's restroom was empty. Xavier took her by the hand and helped her sit on the sink to get a better vision of her face. He took a few paper wipes and started planning what he would do next.

"What are you doing?" She asked and he shushed her.

"Taking care of you." He said. "No pretty girl deserves to cry at the Rave'N."

"Suddenly I'm a pretty girl to you?" She asked. "You literally shouted how annoying I am for the whole school to hear countless of times. And now you're taking care of me?"

"I don't know, (Y/N)." He said, taking the paper to clean the smudge makeup spots on her face. "I saw you crying and I couldn't take it. I needed to see if you were okay."

(Y/N) could see how honest he was from up close. Xavier was concentrated on his job, fixing the makeup like the very detailed artist he is. So she simply decided to believe his words and let him do his job.

"You shouldn't cry, though. Harry's an idiot for thinking anyone else looks prettier than you tonight." He said. "He's just wrong."

"You think so?"

"Are you kidding me? Look at you." Xavier laughed. His pretty dimples showed on his face, making (Y/N) smile. "You look amazing, (Y/N)."

"Thank you." She said. 

Now Xavier had her pen eyeliner in hands and asked her to close her eyes. Doing this was easier than he thought it would be. It's like paiting details on a canvas. Soon he was done and (Y/N) was back to how she looked when she first crossed the entrance.

"Where's your date?" 

"Didn't invited anyone." He admitted. "I'm having a few problems with my dad and I wasn't in the mood for partying. Ajax dragged me here tonight."

"I'm so sorry." (Y/N) rested a hand on his shoulder and smiled sadly. "I'm here if you wanna talk."

"It's stupid. We're always arguing about his absence in my life. But he doesn't agree with me because he believes money is enough." (Y/N) saw his eyes brimming with tears and didn't hesitate in pulling him into a hug. Xavier was surprised at first, but easily melted into her touch.

"I think both of us needed this tonight." She whispered in his ear.

"I think we did." He replied, holding her a little tighter, afraid she would let go too soon. Xavier didn't know he needed someone to be there for him until that moment.

It's been a while since anyone hugged him. It felt so warm and nice, especially coming from (Y/N). So he rested his head above hers and sighed, trying to not fall into a heavier cry. This wasn't about him. He was there to comfort her.

"I'm sorry." He started, his head still comfortably resting above hers. "For being a dick with you all the time. You're not a bad person."

"It's okay, I was an idiot too." She said back, still holding him close to her. "You're not bad, either. Actually, I have to say thank you for comforting me tonight."

"It was nothing." He giggled during his crying. "No one deserves to miss the dance because of some stupid boy." 

"Then dance with me." She leaned back and looked him in the eyes. (Y/N) wiped the tears from Xavier's face, making him smile. And so, he offered his hand to help her off the restroom's sink.

"It will be my pleasure." He pulled her back to the room where everyone was having a good time. 

Of course, the duo walking into the room together brought a lot of attention to them. Most people were surprised to see them holding hands, not choking each other's throats. Xavier and (Y/N) danced to a lot of upbeat songs and some good classics through the night, making everything they went through that night disappear. But when a slow song started, things changed.

"I don't know how to slow dance." She admitted and Xavier's eyes softened.

"I'll teach you." He pulled her in, one hand resting on her hip and the other one holding hers. (Y/N) left her free hand on his shoulder, but still was very far away from him. "Come on, I don't bite."

Feeling her cheeks heat up, (Y/N) took a step forward and got closer to Xavier. He pulled her even closer a few seconds later, making it perfectly intimate.

"This is good." He whispered. "Now we just sway to the song. There's no secret recipe to slow dance.

"Okay." She smiled at him and started following his steps to the song. Xavier never felt so relaxed in his life and he didn't know why.

But when (Y/N) rested her face on his chest, he knew why he felt so relaxed. He was with her, after all. And suddenly, all the months filled with hatred and fights became clear to him: he only got annoyed because he liked her. Now that they let their guards down, it was easy to see it.

And oh, he was so close. Xavier could just lean down and kiss her right there. But he couldn't. He didn't want their kiss to be judged by everyone watching around. Not to mention that (Y/N) looked so peaceful with her eyes closed, swaying her body to the music.

"I thought my night was ruined, but you really turned it around, Xavi."

"Xavi?" He asked, a little surprised by the way she called him.

"It's a nickname, don't you like it?" She asked and he smiled.

"I do." He said. "It's just, I'm not used to it. But it's a cute nickname."

"Like the owner." She smiled up to him and Xavier could swear he would die right there. He just wanted to kiss her, but he didn't want to do it in a crowded room.

"Can I take you somewhere?"

She frowned in confusion, but trusted him to take her somewhere private. And they walked for a few minutes until reaching a small shed in the woods. (Y/N) knew it was his private art studio, but she had never stepped inside. It was like walking into Xavier's mind, one of the most different experiences in her life. They had their hands linked together, fingers laced and everything. He searched for some reaction on her face.

"This is my studio." He said. "I think that if we are being vulnerable tonight, this is the place where I am vulnerable all the time."

"Everything in here is amazing." She took a good look at some of his sketches pinned on the wall, admiring most of them.

"I have a drawing of you." He admitted. "Bigger than I'd like to admit."

Xavier uncovered a canvas and showed (Y/N) a big painting of her, focusing on her book at the library and scrunching her nose in concentration. He smiled to remember the day he sketched that, another bad afternoon she turned around just by existing.

"I was so fucking sad that day. I was pissed and wanted to be alone. But of course, my Miss Perfect was at the library." He said. "But you were just so concentrated in your book, looking beautiful as hell, and didn't even notice me in the room. So I just started drawing you in silence and it made me feel better."

"I look so beautiful in this one."

"You always do. I think that's your superpower." He giggled. "And it's my favorite painting here. I love everything about it."

"I think it just became my favorite too." She said with a big smile. "You never really hated me, did you?"

"I think it was just me failing on how to express my feelings." He said. "My communication only works through art."

"Well, if you're gonna continue drawing me, then you'll have to stop with the stupid fights over nothing." She poked his chest, teasing him with a pretty smirk.

"Never again, promise you." He extended his pinky and she took it with her own finger. "Thank you for the company tonight."

"No, thank you for consoling me tonight." (Y/N) said. "I really needed someone to take care of me at that moment and I'm glad it was you."

"Yeah, I'm glad too." He smiled. "You know, when I saw you crying, I just couldn't take it. I wanted to take care of you."

"You did, Xavi." She held his face between her hands and he glued his forehead to hers. "And I'll always remember this as the night you were there for me."

Xavier was paralyzed by her gaze, so he didn't talk for a few seconds until he said: "I really want to kiss you right now."

(Y/N) replied by pressing her lips to his in a gentle kiss. Xavier was mesmerized by how she tasted in his mouth, but easily grew fond of that new feeling. So he deepened the kiss by tugging her on the waist and pulling her closer to him. She parted her lips and he easily captured her tongue in a bolder move. She smiled into the kiss, but didn't stop it for a second. But after a long time slowly making out in the quiet night, Xavier had to pull away.

"God, you're so beautiful." He put a stray of her hair behind her ear and smiled wider.

"You said that like three times tonight."

"Just can't help myself." He joked, making her laugh. "Especially when you're out there serving looks in this amazing dress."

"Well, you're not far behind." (Y/N) fixed the bow he wrapped around his neck to substitute the usual tie. Xavier got to see every detail from her face by looking at her so close to him.

"Come on, I'll walk you back to your dorm." He extended a hand to her and she whined, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. 

"Don't want tonight to end." She whispered and he hugged her tightly. "Can we stay here?"

"You have to sleep, beautiful." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "And I'll be here tomorrow. We can have breakfast together and we can hang around here. What do you think?"

"I think that would be great."

He captured her lips in one last kiss and softly dragged her out of the shed. Most students were getting back from the party at that time. Xavier and (Y/N) took their time on the walk back, arms linked and casual conversation making everything nicer. 

When they got back to Ophelia Hall, Xavier was glad Thornhill was still at the party. So he got to take (Y/N) up to her room, where they shared a few more goodbye kisses when no one was around. 

"Thank you for everything tonight." She fixed the collar of his shirt and smiled. "When everything turned to shit, you made it all perfect again."

"I had an amazing time with you." He admitted. "I'm glad we get to be friends after everything we went through."

"I think we skipped a few steps on this new friendship." She laughed and he tagged along before pecking her lips again.

"Don't really care right now." He said. "We can be friends that kiss each other."

"I can take it." She kissed him again until they heard someone coming in the hall.

"Hey, good night, beautiful." He kissed her forehead and smiled down at her. "I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast.

"Good night, Xavi." She returned his gesture with a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep tight."

"I'll be thinking of you." He shouted from the end of the hall, making (Y/N) giggled.

"Me too." She shouted back before entering her room again.

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