#i adore them and would kill for them to have their own spinoff

[lisannastraussisanangel]

I’d love to see any Laxus + the thunder legion headcannons, especially for ever and bickslow i feel like they’re such underrated characters and deserved way more screen time and actual backstories

I've got you! I could talk about them for days!!

Evergreen is so spoiled. Being the only girl in a group of men means you get treated like a queen (especially when having lady problems)

Freed, in particular, cannot handle listening to her whine about cramps and will do anything to 'appease the beast' (his exact words)

The team has a running gag about not liking Bickslow. Obviously they love him, but if they can make a joke about him being the worst they are gonna

Other members of the guild were stressed when they watched them roast Bix for the first time

Bickslow plays along too and his main goal is to be as annoying as possible. If Freed doesn't rub his temples in frustration, then Bickslow's failed

The entire team has one braincell. Laxus and Bickslow have never even touched it. Freed and Evergreen are the only users

They all live together! Evergreen lived on her on as a teen but joined the boys when the guild disbanded

They have movie nights. It's once a week and rotates who picks the movies. None of them like the same movies but they all agree Bickslow's taste in movies is awful

Bickslow knows this and picks god awful movies on purpose

If Evergreen is in a bad mood, they are all in a bad mood. Doesn't matter what the reason is

Evergreen is the biggest bully (playful) in the team. No one is safe, but she tends to go after Laxus the most nowadays (he's just so easy to make blush)

Evergreen is their 'lady expert'. Any issues with a woman gets run by her whether she likes it or not

She also beat all sexism out of them pretty early into joining the team

[not-goldy]

Do you think Jikook's bond (whatever it is) is a goldmine to HYBE and they are trying to profit off it?

Thanks for such an intelligent question, having had one such mentally stimulating ask in a while.

Is Hybe overtly exploiting the chemistry that BTS has and that each pair has within the band, absolutely. I mean that bit should be so easy to wrap your head around.

Romance, bromance is one of the top selling genres of all time. The idea of BTS having a super strong fated bond between them is so commercially viable literal movies and songs have been written about them. 7 dates, bullet proof, and their recent Kdrama series etc to be exact.

And ships sell. I've said this since day one. The commercial viability of ships is just an offshoot of the commercial viability of bands as discussed above.

So yes, within that context, Hybe definitely would gravitate towards the two members with the most chemistry, who also happen to be two of the most liked members of the group, two of the most popular members and the most influential members of the group.

You don't go to war with your weakest soldiers.

Jikook is a very strong ship. We all know that.

They've had the most running in the group with some of the ships rising and falling over the years in terms of chemistry and popularity.

There's a lot to do with a pair like that. Reality shows, travel shows, documentaries, memoirs, tell all, cooking shows.

I watch a lot of reality TV and it's not hard to see how Jikook would fit right into that realm.

If BTS was love Island 🏝 Jikook would get their own spinoff after the season ended.

Fans love them, they get the most votes, the camera adores them and producers have so much they wanna do with them.

Am I making sense???

Going off with the Love Island analogy, just because Jikook are fan favorite, and the crew likes to follow them every where with a camera, and they are getting a spin off show of just the two of them don't necessarily mean their bond is fake that they are only existing for fan service or that the company is exploiting them.

There's just so much to do with them. They are fun entertaining adorable and a pleasure to work with.

So to answer your question I'll say yes and no.

Yes, they definitely a Goldmine for hybe in as far as content production goes.

No because they get to kill two birds with one stone. They can make money off of them, but also they create a safe space for Jikook to have that longevity to explore and nurture their relationship. They love being together. They love doing what they do. Hybe simply allows them to live their dreams and relationship much longer.

I've always said, if any queer pair in kpop were real you'd find them in a ship because ships would be their perfect cover for it. And we've seen jikook use this card very often to get out of trouble. Everything they do would be chalked down to fan service no matter how egregious they were. It can be invalidating and frustrating but In a way, it's also safe for them that way.

If I got paid to cozy up to my girlfriend, travel the world with her, eat as much as we can, hike, experience all and any culture- yall could call us anything you want I'm taking that offer🤣🤣🤣🤣

But we gotta give credit where credit is due because to me it's Jungkook that lay the foundation for all of this to be possible when he put of his first GCF with Jimin and later Jimin lay on top of him on a couch talking bout how they ought to do it again and how he would even model for him if filming is what he wanted to do.

I think they gave Hybe the idea of what it can do with them.

You can tell these things are things they both naturally want to do and have already done. During Run, they come up with a team name, they work well together, during rehearsals they stay behind and work on their routines tweaking it a bit, they come up with cooking shows to do, stay up all night doing nothing.

They are by themselves very creative and adventurous.

So like I said, I don't think this is hybe mining them but more so amplifying and giving them the production value to do what they already have been doing which they love, fans love and the company loves.

I'm sure if any other pair had this same organic pull towards eachother and wanted to be around eachother all the time too hybe would be just as curious and invested in them but as it turns out there isn't.

We are not stupid, we see them. And we see how some members act like they can't wait to get out of set when others keep it going even after they yell cut.

We see them all.

[golden-earcuffs]

I just want to reflect how much the Loki show ruined Loki as a character for me and how much disheartened I was with it.

I had always wanted a spinoff on him, which explored him more. And the Loki show did anything but that.

Do you guys remember how Loki was in Infinity War for like 5 minutes, yet Tom Hiddleston was at almost every media interaction the cast had? The same thing happened in the show as well. They used him to market the show, then sidelined him in his own show. I think that was unacceptable, because they used Loki as a bait to promote a character that I held no emotions for.

Sylvie.

The argument that one does not like Sylvie because they “hate a strong female character/a character with complex arcs” is so pathetic. I don’t think I would’ve liked Sylvie even if she had the most elaborate arc in the MCU (which she doesn’t) because it just wasn’t meant to be about her.

I wanted to see Loki’s story, his journey, and if you take this moment to interject with the statement that “she’s Loki too, just different”, then I say that I wanted to see our Loki, the one who was broken when he found out that he was the monster parents told their children about at night, the one who had plethora of iconic dialogues while fighting the avengers, who was killed only for us to realize that he wasn’t.

Everytime I said that we needed a Loki spinoff before it was announced was not because I wanted new characters, it was because I wanted to see more of the character that was already there, very much beloved by the fans. I wanted them to explore his character in a deeper sense and maybe dip a little into mythology as well.

I think Loki was one of those characters that neither needed a love interest nor was ready for one. I don’t ship him with either Sylvie or Mobius, because it feels like neither of them genuinely like Loki for who he is.

Loki had far more compelling things they could have explored like his jotun heritage, his trauma from the time with Thanos and his magic that is the only memory he has of Frigga instead of his love life.

The whole show felt like it was written by someone who wasn’t the least bit interested in Loki and barely looked into him before creating his female counterpart.

It feels like a disrespect for the fans who were connected to Loki on an emotional level.

Why am I saying this now, after like 2 years since the show came out?

I don’t know, after hearing the news about season 2 releasing in October, I just feel so upset. Tired. I hate this show much because it made Loki so irrelevant to me. A sidepiece in his own show. He went around in ugly costumes and all the regal vibes I had from him just disappeared.

I still remember a time when Loki was on the top of my favorite characters, and I loved him so much. I still do, but I’m not sure if I’ll watch the 2nd season and my 13 y/o self would hate me for this.

I’ve gotten detached from his character and I hate myself for it because Loki was someone whom I adored more than anything else in the fandom world.

Loki is that one character who is loved by the fanon but absolutely despised by the canon.

[spinecouture]

book of carol spoilers inside

FIRST AND FOREMOST: this is my opinion. you don't have to like it. this is a very opinion heavy post, with jabs at the writers and even some at norman (sorry pookie).

here is my issue with daryl kissing isabelle. or really anyone for that matter: it completely disregards and contradicts his character he has spent over a decade building. going as far back as the beginning of season three, when carol makes that joke "wanna screw around?" after he helped with her shoulder. daryl shows discomfort and despite not explicitly saying no, he clearly is not interested in getting busy with anyone.

i'm not even against caryl shippers. if you want them to kiss, cute. connie? adorable. but there is a reason daryl hasn't ever made a move on them, or anyone. even when carol pushes for daryl to ask connie to dance, daryl doesn't explicitly say he doesn't want to, just that he had work to do.

another glaring detail: the words 'i love you' do not leave daryl's mouth until the very end of the walking dead. he has known carol for years, and we only hear it once. that's not to say daryl doesn't love anyone, because clearly he does. but it's about trust. this man is heavily emotionally damaged, far before the outbreak. trusting someone enough to show vulnerability is an ongoing theme for daryl. you see him slowly become more comfortable with things like physical touch, comfort, forgiveness, over the seasons. but never, ever, does he feel like he can be romantic with anyone.

the only time this changes, is in season 10, when we find out about leah. i refuse to dwell on her as a character for a long time, as i simply dislike how they wrote her and her relationship with daryl. but i will say, he killed that woman without a single ounce of hesitation to save maggie, and we barely hear about her again after. overall, his arc with leah comes off forced, rushed and honestly? a way for the writers to prove daryl fucks.

it definitely feels like these writers in the spinoff read a small bio of daryl's character, saw how the audience foamed at the mouth for him and ran with it. and norman isn't off the hook, either. he knows this character, lives and breathes this character. so why would you change so much after years of perfecting him?

those are just a few reasons a romantic relationship between isabelle and daryl does not make sense, subtracting the obvious distaste me and many other viewers have for her as a character. the way they have written this nun as a character is not bad, persay. the issue comes in when you throw her at daryl, a man who woke up a million miles away from his family, who already hated that he was leaving anyway, and has never shown an ounce of comfort towards anything romantic besides leah (who was low-key a bitch anyway???).

now, i want to make it clear that i have not watched all of the book of carol leaks, and probably won't. i will more than likely read reviews and articles, watch some clips and come to my own conclusions. these twd spinoffs in general kinda piss me off, but that's a topic for another time. i think it is entirely possible this kiss between him and isabelle is something of a goodbye kiss, a thank you kiss, or something else. i think it could make sense to write it as him being exhausted and lonely, missing his family that he's not 100% certain will be there when he gets back, and he kisses her impulsively. it doesn't feel like something daryl would do, but that would be better than him deciding he loves her and wants to be with her...

i dunno. i don't even wanna get into what norman said about beth because that is so problematic and confusing i don't even wanna acknowledge it.

feel free to share your thoughts or call me a psycho for writing all of this .

[theragamuffininitiative]

Hi! I’ve seen your tags but I don’t think I’ve seen a post about it, so may I ask what your cowboy story is about?

Hellooo!

I need to go fix a lot of my tags bc I couldn't remember what I have posted about it, but mostly I did a few posts during Yeehawgust and that was it. XD

Ok so.

Several years ago I was binging episodes of Bonanza (I was also depressed ok), and stumbled across one called "The Avenger" which introduced this soft-spoken, genteel drifter who shows up just in time to stop some of the main characters from being executed for a crime they didn't commit. When they finally ask him why he cared enough to endanger himself with the real criminals, he explains his father was wrongfully killed and he's seeking the men who did it - yet the episode shows him going out of his way to avoid killing, even when up against some of the men he is after and him being a deadly-excellent crack shot.

We aren't given the man's proper name in the story, but he's from a town called Lasater, Kansas, and so Lasater is what the townfolk call him.

The episode was intended to spin off its own series, about Lasater, and another show, Outlaws, featured an episode starring the same actor with loosely the same story. This man was given a name, but it was imho a silly name so I stuck with Lasater. (I think he was loosely inspired by the Zane Grey character Lasater, which is probably why they gave him another name later.) In any case, the spinoff never happened, and Lasater's story remained unfinished.

But I loved him. I have rewatched that episode multiple times since. The character is just so....??

He befriends and protects a young boy in town. (He has a real soft spot for kids in particular, and in the Outlaws episode he allows an older boy to become his partner after similarly protecting and befriending him.)

He spoils his horse.

He's a loner by mission but you can tell he really likes people and enjoys having company.

He wears his hat adorably back on his head like a little kid.

He's really concerned with cleanliness, it's noted in both episodes lol.

He's kind and refuses to be provoked by hotheaded men.

He is moved to empathy for but not swayed by the damsel in distress.

He has a sense of humor drier than the desert.

He's dangerous in a calm sort of way.

He defeats the bad guys by compassionately but firmly convincing a scared woman to tell the truth (and then of course there is a shootout but he actually has very little to do with it).

I loved the character and the hints of his story (his lawman father hanged by outlaws, his town burned, his mission to bring the villains to justice - that justice being a jail and a court trial) so entirely, that when I found out the episode had entered the public domain, I dug in to write the rest of his story.

In my continuation, Lasater and his new young friend Sonny are on the trail of the remaining outlaws (it would have made a good mini series, but not a long-standing one probably, so I can tie up all the loose ends in a novel lol), and the trail leads them to a small town that wants nothing to do with trouble, but where they must make their final stand against the murderous gang. I get to turn a few more tropes on their head (like what roles Lasater and Sonny play in the climax, and a love interest who is not a love interest) and... Yeah. Couple of cowboys came and stole my heart.

Ended up writing it for last year's NaNoWriMo project and I'm trying to get up the time and energy to begin rewrites.

For now, the story is still called Lasater, Kansas. It may get a proper name someday. 😂

Thanks for asking!

Please enjoy some low quality gifs I made of Lasater's tv appearances:

[themagnadefender]

I'm watching Grimm and the found family dynamics are killing me. Also Trubel I love her so much why was she only in 30 episodes I needed a spinoff with her I adore her so much, her and nick>>>> I wish we could've gotten so much more of her, she deserved to be there for the whole show, she was always so alone 😭 and then when nick took her in she was so loyal and badass what a babe

cannot put into words how over the moon i was to see this!!!! 😭😭😭 thank you so much and so sorry for the word vomit ahead lol

but i toooootally agree, trubel deserved more screen time and we deserved more of her!! her own show would have been /mwah. while i did loooove the setting of portland and of course the cast of grimm, i think giving trubel her own little gang and expanding on the world would have been so fun. UGH. but hey, im just happy they brought her back at all <3 happy to know that there is someone out there in the world who GETS it

and i totally agree!!! her and nick's relationship was one of the best in the show, and for it to have come in as late as it did and still work SO well was fantastic. i think the thing about nick and his refusal to be the Lone Grimm Stereotype was one of the BEST parts about his character, but you do see him have his lonely moments as a grimm because no one can really relate to that even if they know about the wesen community. because the only other grimm he knew out there was his mom, and she just had her own mission to tend to and couldn't stick around for long so even though she was alive, he couldn't even talk to her about all the shit he goes through.

until trubel!! and same for her, like you said she was so alone and had been through SO much, until they found one another. and not just solely because of their relationship to one another but because he also introduced her to all his people, too, who she cared about and who cared about her in return. there is simply nothing like a character who has had to fight their whole life to survive and has felt like they had to do it all on their own, finally being given a soft place to rest and being allowed to just relax and feel safe 😭 like idk what episode it was but after she got back from being kidnapped by chavez and co. and she says, "i just knew if i could get to you, i would be okay." like 😭😭 yeah!!! 😭 she never had a safe place in her life until she met him, and then nick became that for her. and we got that vulnerability but that she was still allowed to remain a badass in her own right, beating people up and threatening them and all that good stuff!!

TRULY a character of all time. am forever going to be obsessed with her. every scene with her was iconic. she is everything to me. also so glad they gave her a motorcycle. as much as i loooved that she got to take aunt marie's truck, i think her going from juliette's bike to a motorcycle with a bunch of superhero features was exactly what she deserved <33

[alecmagnuslwb]

also on the shows ask - iirc you watched the flash? if you'd be up for that :) or one of the other CW superhero shows

Send me a show/movie/fandom

Okay, so admission time I have watched portions of all the CW DC shows, but I never actually finished any of them (unless you count Smallville from back in the day but that's it's own thing.) So, I'm gonna answer this as an amalgamation of what I did watch of the CW DC shows :)

my favorite female character: Iris West, I LOVE her still, I always kept up with her goings ons. Laurel Lance, I quit Arrow when they killed her. Anissa Pierce, an amazing adaptation of a comic character I love.

my favorite male character: Cisco Ramon was SO FUN, The Flash's Wally West I adored and Leonard Snart, I exclusively started Legends of Tomorrow for him. Khalil from Black Lightning, I would have loved to see his spinoff get picked up.

my favorite book/season/etc: Black Lightning, Supergirl and The Flash had stellar first seasons.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): The first time Constantine show up on Legends, I remember loving that episode. The season one Flash finale was also an incredible hour of superhero television.

my favorite cast member: John Barrowman was in that universe and I've loved him since Doctor Who, he's a delight in person when I've seen him at cons.

my favorite ship: Anissa x Grace from BL, I wish they'd done more with them, but loved them nonetheless. Brainy x Nia from Supergirl, I never actually got to their episodes, but a friend who loved the show always kept me apprised of them and I cared so much.

a character I’d die defending: Cisco. I loved that dude, he could do no wrong in my eyes, he could date all the cool lady villains he wanted. When he got powers he could have turned into a supervillain and I would have said good for him.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: I do not care for the CW version of Oliver Queen at all.

a character I grew to love: All the versions of Wells and Eobard Thawne turned out to be very fun as time passed. Rip Hunter also grew on me, but that admittedly could have been the loving the actor from Doctor Who bias.

my anti otp: I think no woman should be stuck with the CW version of Oliver.

[bl-recs-and-reviews]

Watching/Rewatching/Planning to Watch List

I got tagged by @excessivelyobssesed​ thanks! sorry it took me so long to do it, my head is all over the place, but it made me super happy that you tagged me :D

Watching:

I... I-I dont know anymore. Too many. It’s the BLs fault. Also the life crisis. I need a distraction. But it might be too many... I start to forget the plots too fast...

The Warp Effect (yt) - not bl. guy travels ten years to the future and has to solve the problems of his friends/acquitances linked to polaroid pictures. It’s P’Jojo so it’s crazy shenanigans mixed with serious and relevant topics being out in the spotlight. I’m really liking it.

Never Let Me Go (yt) - bl. low class bodyguard x lonely young master. after the death of his father the young master wants a friend/someone to trust of the bodyguard his mom found for him.

History 5 (viki) - bl. might drop it. I haven’t given the second episode a chance yet. I don’t really get the plot yet. we’ll see.

The New Employee (viki) - k bl. intern x boss. gay intern falls for his boss who’s flirting with him in a very elegant way. it took a while but I’m sold on this one. It’s so good.

Midnight Series: Midnight Motel (yt) - not bl (yet). Off, Louis, Jan and Monf are killing it. And the plot is interesting. we’ll see what Dirty Laundry brings. (still waiting for the gay chickens)

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (iq) - k bl. a lot of cringe in the beginning. but despite everything I’m into it now. also I love reincarnation and curses that have to be overcome with the power of love. the tenderness is a plus.  

Candy Color Paradox (viki) - j bl. opposites attract in this japanese manga adaptation of two scandal magazine staff who fall in love as they discover each other. not the worst, not the best. good enough for me. 

609 Bedtime Story (wetv) - bl. parallel universe bad boy player falls for cute guy and now have to save his life. OhmFluke. surprisinfly the plot is one of the reasons I’m here.

Between Us ( iq | yt) - bl. UWMA spinoff with WinTeam as mains. I’m obsessed. I have zero need for the side couples despite how cute they are. I’m invested on WinTeam. 

Gap the series (yt) - gl. that has me hooked. office romance with so many flaws but the chemistry is amazing, and despite it’s flaws the plot is solid enough for me. I just love looking at them loving each other. 

Happy Ending Romance (gaga | viki) - bl. writer got blacklisted and now lives (as a couple) with another popular writer that decided to take care of him. he's approached by guy who tries to convince him to publish a new book. this is here because I believe I will finish it soon. mainly to get it off my list. but I will! ...I hope..  

I Will Knock You (gaga | yt) - bl. weirdo gang leader caught in 90's aesthetics and another weirdo that tries to tutor him (and is always caught up in situations he doesn’t want to be in) weird but funny. it’s recently been picking up pace. I’m glad I didn’t drop it. I find them adorable.

Koi to Dangan - not bl. technically watching it. straight japanese crazy shenanigans. I should countinue with it. If I find the time.

My School President (yt) - bl. school president is moronosexual and doesn't know how to flirt. I never thought I would be so much into a high school romance again. they own my heart. It’s one of my current faves.

My Tooth Your Love (wetv | viki) - bl. great job taiwan :) this ended recently. I have to watch the last episodes before it goes into the list of shows I never finished by one or two episodes. 

Alice in Borderland (netflix) - not bl. it’s a second season so I’m trying to watch one episode a day. and failing. I hope I finsh it. a gamer hermit gets transported into a parallel tokyo with his friedns where they have to play life and death games to survive. 

Remember Me (yt | gaga) - bl. watching this ... somehow. it was nice sometimes and annoying others. I think it finished this week. I have to finish it so I can forget about it forever. 

Recently binged / finished:

Tsukuritai Onna Tabetai Onna - gl. two women bonding over their “unusual” love for food. it’s cute and comforting. I really liked it.

Choco Milk Shake (yt) - k bl. it was cute and weird. it’s a great thing to watch with your brain turned off.

Oh! My Assistant (viki) - k bl. meh. entertaining. glad it’s over. forgettable (for me). 

To Sir, With Love (yt) - bl. historical drama rich family heir fells in love with commoner. in the background his mother is killing everyone who discovers her son is gay. it was amazing. best brothers relationship ever. 

Plan to Watch:

this is just a preview, there’s so many more, until I watch the first episode of a series my curiousity always get the best of me

Till The World Ends

Island

Cutie Pie 2 You

Weak Hero Class 1

Me no Doku Sugiru Shokuba No Futari

Alchemy of Souls (the gifmakers are baiting me and I might bite)

Ai Long Nhai (I’m curious about it)

10 Year Ticket (maybe)

Why You Why Me

Soredemo Ikite Yuku

Hit Bite Love (apparently there’s controversy?)

Individual Circumstances

The End of The World With You

Wish You Luck

Wish Me Luck

A Shoulder to Cry On

My Beautiful Man the movie

Middleman’s Love

Bed Friend

and mainly eveything that picks my interest... I always end up dropping a lot xD

and this is only a part of it.... imagine if I added the western stuff...

i'm tagging @isaksbestpillow and @gunsatthaphan and everyone that sees this, feel free to tag me :)

[sunbeamsandmoonrays]

I fell off The Walking Dead a long time ago but omg this spinoff with daryl and the girl who signs are they together? It reminds me of my otp from The Eternals I'm still mad that no sequel with them has happened.

Omg aren't they adorable? So a couple things [putting under a cut because of spoilers]:

Connie (the girl who signs) is a character from the main show who was introduced in season 9. I believe I've seen screenshots of interviews with the showrunner at the time saying that they were supposed to be romantic, but unfortunately it didn't become "official" due to "timing". (The actress, Lauren Ridloff, left the show during season 10 and fully came back in season 11 so she could film The Eternals.) I have watched all of TWD, and even with her absence, I feel like they could have still done a romance plot with their characters. But at some point during season 11, I think the 3 main spinoffs were being planned, and Daryl getting with Connie probably would have gotten in the way of Daryl's Eurotrip spinoff.

Speaking of Daryl's spinoff - I haven't watched it, but I do know he does [spoiler] have a love interest in it. They actually just kissed in Sunday's ep. But [another spoiler] they're going to kill off said love interest (or she may have already died idk). And I also know Connie is mentioned?? If that actually is a hint for the future or just a regular ole namedrop, I'm not sure. But unless Connie somehow ends up in Europe, too, I feel like it will be a while before Daryl and Connie share the screen again (if they ever do).

I'm sorry I had to be the bearer of bad news! But if you ever attempt to watch TWD again, I will say Donnie was the highlight of the last few seasons (especially after my faves Rick and Michonne left). Their interactions were so cute and wholesome - he learned ASL for her! Got a little ASL booklet and everything! In the zombie apocalypse! And his dog loves her! I'm just gonna pretend that they DID end up together for my own sanity lol.

Thanks for the question, Nonny! You can ask me TWD related questions anytime!

[sweetness-and-the-sour]

So, a couple things I wanted to say. 1. Would you like to be friends? Because I loved this reply! I absolutely adore when people go on tangents about things they find interesting, especially if it's a shared topic. I'm gonna try to touch on everything you said but fair warning I have ADHD so this might turn into a novel.

Five's DNA enhancement, one of the most interesting/horrifying parts of the comics. The idea of Five having the DNA of every killer in history (if I remember correctly) embedded into him and having to fight that strong of a bloodlust constantly is wild to me. However, I agree with you about Show!Five killing the board for his family. Mi amiga! My heart! The devotion! Comic!Five eating AJ did slightly scar me though. Glad they didn't keep that. Honestly with how gritty/graphic the comics are, I'm surprised they never approached the topic of Five....ending things on his own terms, if you will.

I give big props to Mr Aiden Gallagher because I honestly forget that this is actually a teenager and not a man almost in his sixties. Especially the scene of him singing during the wedding reception (the effect felt like a mix of Frankie Valli and Sinatra) The exploration of Delores as Five's companion was another wonderful thing in my opinion. (My little cousin found Aiden's nickelodeon show during covid and we watched it together. So being married to a mannequin might not be the weirdest thing the poor boy has ever had to film xD)

Allison....'sigh'. I really want to like her so much sometimes. But the GASLIGHTING. Sister, you've lost two marriages, a child, your throat got cut because of your actions andddd what do you choose to do the minute your "backup plan" shows interest in another girl? Full-on looses it. I can understand wanting to be wary of the Sparrows but she acted like Luthor is a toy that she didn't want until another kid asked to play with it. (I love Emmy, I'm well aware this is the writing. Just wanted to say that real quick) But Luthor deserves his own agency, not to be a contingency plan.

I'm not even gonna get started on everything between her and Vanya/Viktor. It would be too much. I ask to remain with the Salon dance scene and that's that. Comic her was just so angry, all the time. Also scary powerful, if you got to read the spinoff where she made a clone of herself. That was a messed up storyline.

When I mentioned Luthor and Five being Twins, I was going more for the Fraternal angle, so I don't think their appearances would have mattered much but that's just my opinion. I love the brothers being together. The roadtrip, the pub scene, Diego and Five talking about working at the Commission. Fantastic scenes. I have the Pilot script but I've not read it yet. Hopefully do that soon.

JAYME AND ALPHONSO. I loved them so much. Jayme, my Queen. "Are they all perverts?" Perfect, no notes. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO GO?! Alphonso's powers still confuse me but still a funny dude. They gained points by beating up racists at the pizza shop but lost some for the fight with Diego. (He was with Stan! Don't fight with the man's kid around. Basic etiquette people!) And Jayme, darling, yes, Grace is a robot but your brother is a CUBE. Do you really have room to talk?

Mr Pennycrumb....poor puppy. (Having Death from Supernatural play Chet made me so happy though)

I actually have a Hotel Oblivion keycard from the comics. But I did love the design of the hotel in the show. It felt almost like a meetup spot for time travelers if that makes sense. I didn't know they planned to go to Japan but that would have been really interesting. Art deco appeals to me some days, especially 70's style homes with the pit in living rooms. But Modern can be nice as well.

I feel like alot of fans agree that season 3 should have been fleshed out more. It's still a wonderful season! But so much was going on and the potential for storylines just fell sorta flat I suppose. (Also Lila lying about Stan....I really didn't like.) I get that the whole family really has no understanding of non-toxic relationships but I loved Lila before that. Now, Diego has lost someone he was growing to love as his child and I'm scared that Stan will be forgotten in favor of their new baby.

I'm probably forgetting half of what I wanted to say but seriously, thank you for your reply and I would love to talk more about TUA or anything related if you would be down for it. I hope you have a wonderful day! Its August 1st. 7 more days people! Whoo!

Hi! I just wanted to say I really like your blog and the ideas you have for TUA. I have a question if you don't mind? If you've read the comics (I just got to read You Look Like Death and....my head hurt alot after) is there anything you wished they had kept from the comics for the show or vice versa? Personally I wish they had kept Luther and Five being twins in the show. I get why they chose not to do so but come on.

Five doesn't get his dog and then he also doesn't get his biological brother? I love the Pub scene from season 2 and it would have fit really well for them to learn it (just my opinion)

Thank you and I hope you have a lovely day! :)

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy my ideas!! I love asks lmao so no problem at all!

I have read the mainline comics and a few spin offs (the Diego & Vanya band AU one comes to mind??) but I'm a show main sadly. I like the comics as an informant to the show, so generally I prefer how the show depicted things.

I do want to briefly (edit: it was not brief... i am so sorry) talk about the Five DNA thing because that's one of the things I love in the show.

in the comics Five is genetically altered by the commission

this only works in the comics for me because every character is an asshole, Five especially (he literally prefaces this moment by bragging that he's fucked a lot of women). So for Five to have this excuse? to show horror at the very idea? that's a redeeming quality.

but in the show, they make every character likeable to an extent (recall that in the comics Allison rumours Luther into loving her), so this wouldn't have the same impact because it just makes Five less of his own person - removes the agency from his actions.

Five in the show is someone forced into a corner, and his actions in accepting and carrying out his job as an assassin, as well as his willingness to kill innocents and his own brother throughout s1 show how his experiences have made him desperate and ruthless in his pursuit of love and happiness.

it's a psychological exploration/study.

which to me, is infinitely more interesting. Five doesn't kill the board because his DNA dictates he will, he kills them because he chooses to. He is not cruel because his DNA dictates it, he is cruel because his experiences have made him that way.

and I think overall, this approach is adapted very nicely to fit the tone of the show, as all the same beats are hit. Five has been made into the Commission's killing machine against his will, and he is resentful of it,

but that doesn't mean he can undo the damage done, his psyche is forever attuned to this line of thinking no matter how much he hates it he doesn't know how to break the cycle of violence inflicted on him,

but because Five hasn't been genetically altered, he is fully responsible for his actions and he has to live with that.

the DNA altering in the show would feel like a cop out to me. and also the interesting aspect from the DNA altering is that he is essentially made into a psychopath (most famous serial killers are - Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, etc.), which means removing his empathy.

because despite his dislike of the non-consenual genetic surgery, comics!five doesn't have empathy.

and show!Five is interesting because he has so much empathy, yet he remains a killer. he is never given the opportunity to use that for good.

without that empathy we wouldn't get scenes like this where he admits guilt,

and in all honesty, isn't it more interesting that the best and most prolific killer in the show possesses a large amount of empathy?

idk sorry I got sidetracked - I've seen a lot of people who say they prefer the DNA plot of the comics and I just feel like it's very contradictory to what a lot of people love about Five.

anyway, the only element of the DNA plotline that i'd want to see adapted further is the non-consenual surgery itself

largely because I love Five!whump and despite comics!Five claiming it was painless it's fairly obvious to see that it wasn't (and I love when this is expanded on in fics so much - no time, no time, dear brother o' mine is an amazing read because it deals with this)

but I also think it would do a good job at reinstating the commission as the villians they are rather than the weird, nebulous thing it currently sits as (Five would never entrust Herb or Dot to the Commission it's so ooc and it's canon??? Dot and Herb were both 100% in support of the commission's ethos, even if Herb was a bit shit at his job. Dot literally was in charge of the apocalypse and saw Five arrive & at no point thought that this was fucked actually).

plus, we already know they waited until Five was hopeless, alcoholic potentially passively suicidal, weak both physically and mentally, desperate. all likely to better control him.

what's to say they didn't also pick up him just in time to prevent his death? 45 years in a polluted wasteland can't be good on the body - and I don't about the general population, but most of the people I know in their 50s aren't fully grey. the stress was probably killing him all on its own.

they could have seen his death and gone back a few years/months/days to recruit him. but then that would mean they still have to fix whatever illness was killing him, and how do you do that? surgery.

perhaps that's how they recuit all of their agents. maybe that's how they get away with it not disturbing the timeline, take someone who was going to die anyway, and then force them into a debt of gratitude for saving their lives. idk.

I also think AJ was criminally underused. He's supposed to be the big bad of the commission, his character was originally adapted into the Handler but then they decided they wanted his design in the show or something.

I think his role in the comics is much more interesting, as a person who selected Five from a line up of assassins already in the commission and gave Five personal training, and assigned him to the JFK case,

I think he could have been adapted a lot better than he was, and like the surgery, he could have steered the commission back towards the villains they were always supposed to be - instead of The Handler (as amazing as Kate Walsh is to watch on screen I love her) we could have had AJ manipulating Five throughout s2.

as for Five & Luther, I don't mind them not being twins, because honestly their genetics are so different (Aidan is 20 something and he's probably going to stay at 5'5" while Tom is like 6'5", plus hair colour, skin tone, bone structure etc.) and we already know that they weren't planning on making them twins from the pilot script (Five is born a singleton to a polish teenager I believe).

I do think it would have been fun to repurpose this plotpoint for another pair. of the Umbrella's I actually think Five and Viktor pair quite well as they both have similar heights, hair colour, they both have that square jaw too. but I also think that this could have been an interesting way to give depth to the sparrows - Jayme and Alphonso could have been the twins.

Pennycrumb was... a let down? I don't think he should have been a big part of Five's character, but I also don't think he should have had 0 affect on it either.

otherwise??? honestly Hotel Oblivion was wayyy more interesting in the comics than in the show. I would have preferred something more in line with the comics but I think they were afraid of the classic horror elements and the classic superhero elements.

like the faceless bus boy guards

the hotel rooms, seemingly ordinary, being prison cells

the prisoners having enough freedom to move around the hotel and have relationships with each other but not enough to feel safe hanging around the hotel

i just.. i wish more of this had been incorporated into the show.

also.. art deco buildings.. my beloveds

this could have been the hotel Oblivion..

like ik they planned to go to japan to film s3 and that got fucked over by covid but like.. art deco is such a good aesthetic for a horror setting compared to the japanese style hotel we got (i've heard it called hotel orientalism as well so, theres that too).

if I had been in charge I would have had s3 focus on the mothers, develop their stories & why the umbrellas were given up for adoption & then linked this all to the 43 being the 16 instead. have the reveal be not that theyre dead but missing, non existant. because the children were taken by hargreeves to power Oblivion. if we somehow keep the kugelblitz then we use that as a distraction as to where and why all the sparrows keep going missing, and eventually the umbrella's numbers start to dwindle. until Oblivion is discovered and we find that every hotel room corresponds to a member of the 43 - maybe even have the brellies/sparrows numbers correspond to their door numbers somehow, or floor level.

idk I'm not a good writer but thats a bit of how i feel about the comics being adapted into the show..

sorry idk if i even answered your question? thank you again for the lovely ask!

[thebowerypresents]

The Smile Thrill Adoring Forest Hills Stadium Crowd on Friday Night

The Smile – Forest Hills Stadium – July 7, 2023

Do we need another project from Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood? It’s not the world’s most original question, as the spinoff efforts of Radiohead’s head and heart are prolific. But I’m guessing it popped up for some a couple years ago, when the Smile came on the scene. To them I say: What is need? Do you need sprinkles and nuts on that Mister Softee cone? Or a third cigarette? No. Would you like to experience enhanced, if not repeated, pleasure? Even some that, say, gilds the lily? Emphatic yes.

Yorke and Greenwood’s music has a familiar through line, but each manifestation stands on its own. The two, along with percussionist Tom Skinner of Sons of Kemet, have made in the Smile a close cousin to Radiohead but one with gutsier immediacy. That’s due, I suspect, in large part to Yorke, whose jazz background and virtuosity on the drums provide them fertile new ground. On Friday, before an enchanted and loyal crowd at a hot and humid Forest Hills Stadium, the band explored it, opening with “Pana-Vision,” off their debut (and only full-length) album, A Light for Attracting Attention (2022). They were joined by saxophonist Robert Stillman, who opened the show with a lovely solo set that dipped in and out of abstract, free and ambient tones. The night got moving with “Thin Thing,” the riffs climbing, falling, moving sideways and all ending in a beautiful decrescendo of sorts. 

At some point, Yorke suffered for fashion long enough and rid himself of his denim jacket, simply attacking the set, including “A Hairdryer” — preceded by a gorgeously dark improvisation, with Greenwood bowing his bass. “Under Our Pillows,” an unreleased song, found parallels in the staccato time signatures of “Thin Thing” but with more Yorke-style longing and an eerie, atonal end. Other unreleased material made it in, too, like “People on Balconies” and “Colours Fly,” both featuring Stillman. The set-closing “You Will Never Work in Television Again,” the big hit, unsurprisingly killed: “All those beautiful young hopes and dreams / Devoured by those evil eyes and those piggy limbs,” hurled Yorke.

The encore felt like coming home, Yorke crooning over acoustic guitar to a nearly silent stadium crowd on “Free in the Knowledge,” and Greenwood joining in on piano. “Bending Hectic,” the penultimate song, was a favorite — slow, layered and scuzzy that grew terrifyingly immense by its close. The show ended with a 2009 Yorke song, “Feeling Pulled Apart by Horses,” which moved across a synth-y, slinking beat that sent us off into the night. And yes, I did need that. —Rachel Brody | @RachelCBrody

Photos courtesy of DeShaun Craddock | dac.photography

[foxymoxynoona]

MY WRITING

All of my stuff is hosted on AO3 or you can read a lot of it here on tumblr. Thanks for checking out my works!

Check out my update schedule here 

Over the Falls

→ Poolboy Jungkook x Rich Divorcee OC

Read on Tumblr | Read on AO3

Jungkook sees a lot of things as a pool tech. It’s…  fine. It pays the bills between mornings on the water and evenings  rocking out with his garage-band. His favorite thing to see on the job has been Grace Birch –older but a hottie, wealthy but nice, and  unfortunately very married. At least until Grace learns what her husband  has been up to behind her back. Now that she’s free, Jungkook finds  himself wondering: what does it take for a guy like him to catch the eye of a woman like that?

After the Applause

➝ Single Dad Jimin x OC

Read on Tumblr | Read on AO3

Jimin doesn't know how he would have made it this far without the support of his thoughtful, generous neighbor. Hanbyul has lived next to hottie Jimin and his adorable daughter for years now, long enough to remember the wife he was so devoted to and lost far too young. With each safely ensconced on their side of the brick wall of the Parks' grief, it may take an enterprising little scientist to set the stage for a second chance at love.

To Kill A King

➝ Historical Fantasy Prince Jin x OC

Read on Tumblr | Read on Ao3

What's more charming than Prince Seokjin? Nothing, obviously. Except maybe the rotating palace guests who each smile and bow and charm in an attempt to hide their true motives. Fortunately Seokjin has a close circle of friends (well, servants) who watch his back and endure his humor and help him navigate the tumultuous seas of heartbreak, love, and an arranged marriage, not necessarily in that order. If only they had helped him keep a closer eye on his bride-to-be's handmaiden, who arrives with her own agenda... or maybe it would have been better if he had noticed her less? One thing is certain as this royal drama of the heart plays out: there are many people competing to kill a king.

Asunder

Book 2 in Legends of the Red-Lions series, Prequel but can be read first ➝ Warrior Taehyung x Mage OC in Fantasy World AU

Series Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Read Chapter One on Tumblr

As son of the Thane, Teahyung’s life is blessed, his family respected, and his life as a warrior charted from the moment his father claims leadership. As Taehyung’s “blessed years” stack, glued together with violence and tragedy, his life begins to feel less like a gift from the gods and more like a burden. Do the gods really want what’s best for him? Does he really want to be like his father? And when the woman he loves marries his best friend, is he really supposed to just accept it? How is he supposed to choose, Karmen or Jungkook?

My Matryoshka

Book 3 in The Secret Song Series ➝ Idol Jungkook x Russian-American OC

Series Masterlist | Read on AO3 Jungkook and Sasha are grateful for the newfound stability of their relationship as careers seize the spotlight. Sasha has a thesis to focus on in a hostile academia environment. Jungkook is eager to share his maturing identity with the fans, the world, and his hyungs. But with so much looming change, it’s easy to feel like the golden days have already passed. Can they be enough for each other through it all? And really, who could have predicted what one little full sleeve tattoo would cause?

Some of these are OT7 series, some of them are member-focused books that have spinoffs featuring other members so I want the worlds organized together.

Birdtan Sonyeondan Series

Masterlist coming early 2023 along with Book 2!

Lone Blue Egg

 ➝ Penguin Hybrid JK x Bird Hybrid OC (complete, words 101,880) Jungkook is a simple man. He goes to work, he hangs out with friends, he worries about finding a mate to take home for his hometown breeding season. Maybe he spends a little more money on cam girls than is fiscally responsible but he has niche tastes. Maybe he feels a bit adrift, but he's a young penguin hybrid, supposedly in his prime, far from his crèche. At least he's good at one thing: taking care of his precious egg. A comfort egg, not a real egg, he's not a real penguin, just a man with penguin DNA and behavioral tendencies. Just like Yoongi isn't actually an owl, even if he does stay up all night and sometimes hoot to fuck with their roommates. But this is a real love story, even if a slightly odd one.

Read on AO3 | Read on Tumblr

The Legends of the Red Lions

OT7 BTS Fantasy AU, books in series focus on individual members

The Avvar are old and the Red-Lion clan goes back to the earliest days, when Tyrdda Bright-Axe refused to join Thelm Gold-Handed in crossing the Waking Sea to plunder the Golden City, the alleged seat of the Old Gods. Instead her people split from the Almarri and became the Avvar clans, settling in the Frostback mountains and the forests and along the coasts and burrowed into nature and found new ways to commune with the gods --sometimes through struggle, sometimes through strife, and many times through victory. There have been many exceptional Avvar over the generations. Thanes, Augurs, Skalds, Warriors, Healers, and Hunters. It is rare though, in one generation, for there to be so many Legendary characters. It may begin to feel like the gods are planning something.

Series Masterlist

Book 1: The Lowlander (Warrior Jungkook x Noble Elf OC) Complete Book 2: Asunder (Taehyung x Mage OC) In Progress + Drabbles (Ongoing, multi-member)

The Secret Song Series

➝ Idol Jungkook x Russian-American OC ➝ Working on side stories for other members as well

Jungkook lost his heart pretty much as soon as he saw Sasha Prazdnikova in Little Bean coffee shop, and hers didn’t actually wait much longer. But life as an idol isn’t easy, and life as an idol’s girlfriend isn’t any easier, especially when Sasha has her own career –as well as her own personal demons from a painful childhood of abuse and trauma. Their love, respect, and support for each other is clear, but is it enough to hold them together through the years? How can a relationship survive when your love story has to be sung through secret songs?

Series Masterlist

Books so far:

Book 1: Little Bean (Done)

Book 2: Flux (Done)

Book 3: My Matryoshka (In Progress)

SSP & JK: The B-Sides (drabbles and one-shots)(on-going)

RM: Mono to Stereo (Namjoon-focused collection)(on-going)

V: The Man (Taehyung-focused collection)(on-going) More books, short stories, and drabbles to come

Amended

(complete; 670,676 words) ➝ Police officer!Jungkook x Childhood Friend Single Mom OC

Getting into a bar fight is the least surprising part of Isabella's return home. She sure doesn't expect to run into her childhood friend turned high school enemy, now not just surprisingly a law-abiding citizen but a police officer. Things seem to be going great for him, but Isabella is struggling with more than a bar fight. A single mom with a sick grandmother, an alcoholic mother, an abusive ex, and a short fuse herself, matters are not helped that Jungkook seems to be everywhere. All the time. Especially every time Isabella messes up. Can she really believe him when he says he just wants to help?

Series Masterlist - Includes links to main story as well as many one shots following both main and side characters

Meadow

➝ Alpha Wolf Shifter JK x Omega OC (complete; 558,096 words) Despite being arranged two decades ago, the start of Bronwen and Jungkook's marriage is a difficult one. Misunderstanding, resentment, and a struggle to control unfamiliar instincts threaten to mire them both in a miserable, unhealthy situation. Before they can even begin to reconcile their new intertwined fate, though, Bronwen begins to suspect there's something else holding them back: a lie that threatens everything she's been raised to believe.

Read on Ao3

A Bouquet of Flowers ➝ Ongoing collection of one shots related to Meadow Read all on AO3 |

Read on tumblr:

- Min Yoongi Meets An Animal - Original Character Min Je-Ni (Yoongi's grandmother) drabble: An Arrangement - A Run in with Eun-Kyung - Jungkook's Rut

Sugar Fairy

➝ Bunny!Hybrid JK x Leopard Hybrid OC (Complete; 228,523 words)

Bunny Hybrid Jungkook is at that age... he needs a mate, and it's making life miserable for everyone in the family. The obvious solution is to bring home a girl. The obvious problem is that while it's love at first site for Pippa when he walks into the adoption tent, Jungkook is far more into the sexy cat to her right. Will there ever be peace in the family again?

Read on Ao3

Bite-Sized Sweets ➝ Ongoing collection of Sugar Fairy one shots Read all on AO3 | Read on Tumblr:

- Namjoon Handles Jk's Rut - Need to X-Post: Namjoon & Narae adopt - Need to X-Post: Dae and the dress story

Stories of any length that focus on one member.

A Nice Walk Home

➝ (non-idol) BF Jin x Reader (2283 words) Read on AO3 | Read on Tumblr

-See To Kill A King above.

Dad Yoongi Drabble Collection

➝ (non-idol) husband Yoongi x Reader No rigid story structure, just connected vignettes from the life you and Yoongi navigate together raising your two little ones.

Read all on Ao3 | Read on Tumblr:

A Quiet Morning (3042 words)

Can I Interest You In Some Cookies? (4963 words) 

Are We Ready For Ice Cream? (4878 words)

*Coming Soon*

- Features heavily in “Tell Me What Changed”

An Unexpected Exhibit

➝ (non-idol) rival Namjoon x Reader (5387 words) (G) Read on AO3 | Read on Tumblr

- Features heavily in Sugar Fairy and Amended - See RM: Mono to Stereo under Secret Song Series

Jimin Held Out His Hand

➝ Fairy Lord Jimin x Reader (about 5000 works depending on your choice; two ending options) Read on Tumblr | Read on AO3

After the Applause (See WIP above) 

- Features heavily in Meadow

Spoilers

➝ Pediatric Nurse Tae x Single Mom OC (complete; 32,680 words)

Read on AO3 | Read on Tumblr

It wouldn't be fair to say Jayden is the only pediatric patient Nurse Tae adores, but he's definitely one of his favorites. And Jayden's mom Sydney is the sort of parent who makes a shift in the PICU ward enjoyable, but that's neither here nor there, because at the end of the day, Taehyung is a professional. He has a job to do, a job that is to take care of the children and their families during their stressful stay in the PICU ward. Catching feelings is definitely not allowed.

Regretful Eternal & Yours

➝ God of Death Tae x Goddess of Memories Reader (complete; 4990 words)

Read on Tumblr | Read on AO3

- Features heavily in Sugar Fairy - See Asunder above

Tell Me What Changed 

➝ Fuckboy BFF JK x OC, Special Guest Hoseok (Complete; 261,365 words) Drabbles ongoing, Read on the story masterlist page below

Read on AO3 | Read on Tumblr

Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood --actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he's in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much... not that. Which is fine and doesn't matter! Until Jimin's impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can't believe what happens next.

Sea of Indigo

➝ Pibull!Hybrid ex-fighter JK x Human Female Reader (Complete; 240,156 words)

Read on AO3

Pitbull Hybrid Jungkook has finally been freed from the fighting rings, and now finds himself at Marigold Sanctuary & Transition Estate, a place for healing and self-discovery for rescued hybrids. It's stupid, dumb, cheesy, and hell-bent on helping Jungkook "heal" and "find himself" and "decide the course of his life." And right at the center of it is Y/N, a nurse who's got everyone bamboozled that she's like some awesome person. She's not that great. Jungkook hates it here.

+ - Drabble: After You Left or Read on AO3 + A Beautiful Beyond: JK and Y/N Have a Baby or Read on AO3

Insatiable

(complete; 25,149 words)(it’s filthy I am so sorry) ➝ Wolf Hybrid Twin JK(s) x Hyena Hybrid OC

Read on AO3

Emi the abandoned hyena hybrid is at the shelter for two weeks before Seokjin can't stand seeing her so sad for another day. He adopts her, determined to give her a happy home, despite the fact hyenas are matriarchal, demanding, and sexually needy. Several of his friends have hybrids, but it seems too good to be true when Namjoon's wolf hybrid Gukka takes an instant liking to Emi. Unfortunately, so does his idenical twin brother, Jae. And Emi doesn't know how to choose.

DRABBLES

JK X Fan OC Meet at a Concert a little Y/N drabble request, 3k words

Ashtoreth ; Tattooartist!JK x Camgirl reader old drabble/abandoned short story

Features heavily in Asunder

Banner/bars made with photo from Pixabay on pexels

All works are my original work and copyright to me 2020 and beyond, I do not allow translations of my work or reposting anywhere, thanks. If you see something of mine outside of tumblr or ao3, please report for infringement.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

if you're up for it out of the ones you know how would the other non-comics Edwards rank? (Unburied, HQ Show and whichever else you've seen?)

this is going to be considerably more hinged because I just straight up haven't seen a lot of the cartoons that Riddleboy has popped up on and generally have less feelings about them; the comics are where I really get crazy get stupid about him. but let's talk about a couple highlights! no ratings, they're all good little bastards.

John Glover (Batman: The Animated Series)

he's not my FAVORITE favorite but like. come on. he's a good little Riddler! he riddles like crazy! and I like BTAS rogues on principle, I love that they can definitely murder people but stay classy about it.

I usually prefer Riddlers who are driven to riddle by a desire to fuck (with) Batman, but I actually REALLY respect that this guy originally just wanted to murder his shitty former boss. that guy sucked and he did deserve to get disemboweled by a mechanical minotaur in an enormous labyrinth that Eddie apparently spent a year building on his own dime!

I'm also kind of indebted to his existence because Eddie in BTAS spinoff comics is just. my favorite little guy. him!

Dave Franco (Young Justice)

I'm gonna keep this quick because there isn't a lot to say: this Riddler kind of sucks but is also pretty much spot-on. like he's irritating but the whole narrative knows he's irritating; sweet baby Dick Grayson seems fucking exhausted the second he shows up and all the other villains at Belle Reve bully him like a bunch of cunty middle schoolers. I'm a simple man; I love when even the other villains want to kill this man on sight. his design also kind of sucks; like there are so many elements here that sort of work but just aren't that remarkable altogether? he looks like he does other bad guys' taxes.

having said all of that I do genuinely adore that in his first episode he's the only guy who manages to break out of Belle Reve during what was planned to be a mass breakout, especially given that the aforementioned bullying would strongly suggest nobody even told him that was going to happen. I love when he's the slippiest boy! escaping things is sort of a riddle; let him have that.

also, hey, I have to say this: it's just. so weird that he's Dave Franco. he's not bad in the role at all but. why.

Jim Rash (Harley Quinn: The Animated Series)

speaking of animated shows that know he's annoying and just roll with it!!

I like the Harley Quinn series quite a lot for a lot of reasons, mainly because it's not precious about the DC mythos and will frequently just do some buckwild shit with very established characters with absolutely zero hesitations. the Riddler is the opposite of that; this show knows exactly why and in what ways he's supposed to be an insufferable little freak and they go for it full throttle. don't love the bald + question mark tattoo look but he's gay so it balances out.

Hasan Minhaj (Batman Unburied)

yeah there's no normal way to explain this one, this version of the Riddler crawled deep inside one of my brain wrinkles and is still sitting there chirping like a cricket. I can't even explain why but if I think about him too long I begin frothing at the mouth. I think about him a profoundly abnormal amount and I feel great about it. he's only in four episodes and managed to rot a hole in my psyche in significantly less than that. I just think he's neat. he's awful. he's pathetic. he's my little meow meow. I don't want anyone to fix him. I'll cry if he gets worse. I want to see him implode. I've said it before and I'll say it again, whatever happens in season 2 of Unburied is going to make me truly unbearable as a human being.

[tlbodine]

The Horror Genius of Five Nights At Freddy’s

I’ve been playing FNAF: Help Wanted VR on my Oculus Quest lately (a birthday present to myself -- I know I’m late to that party!) and it’s reignited in me my old love of this series. I know Scott Cawthon’s politics aren’t great, but I don’t think there’s any malice in his heart beyond usual Christian conservative nonsense -- and I think he stepped down as graciously and magnanimously as possible when confronted about it. Time will judge Scott Cawthon’s politics, and that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I want to talk about what makes these games so damn special, from a horror, design, and marketing perspective. I think there’s really SO MUCH to be learned from studying these games and the wider influence they’ve had as intellectual property. 

What Is FNAF? 

In case you’ve somehow been living under a rock for the last seven years, Five Nights At Freddy’s (hereafter, FNAF) is a horror franchise spanning 17 games (10 main games + some spinoffs and troll games, we’ll get to that), 27 books, a movie deal, and a couple live-action attractions. 

But before it exploded into that kind of tremendous IP, it started out as a single indie pont-and-click game created entirely by one dude, Scott Cawthon. Cawthon had developed other games in the past without much fame or success, including some Christian children’s entertainment. He was working as a cashier at Dollar General and making games in his spare time -- and most of those games got panned. 

So he tried making something different. 

After being criticized that the characters in one of his children’s games looked like soulless, creepy animatronics, Cawthon had his lightbulb moment and created a horror game centered on....creepy animatronics! 

The rest, as they say, is history. 

The Genius of FNAF’s Horror Elements

In the first FNAF game, you play as a night security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a sort of ersatz Chuck-E-Cheese establishment. The animatronics are on free-roaming mode at night, but you don’t want to let them find you in your security room so you have to watch them move through the building on security camera monitors. If they get too close, you can slam your security room doors closed. But be careful, because this restaurant operates on a shoestring budget, and the power will go off if you keep the doors closed too long or flicker the lights too often. And once the lights go out, you’re helpless against the animatronics in the dark. 

Guiding you through your gameplay is a fellow employee, Phone Guy, who calls you each night with some helpful advice. Phone Guy is voiced by Cawthon himself, and listening to his tapes gives you some hints of the game’s underlying story as well as telling you how to play. A few newspaper clippings and other bits of scrap material help to fill in more details of the story. 

Over the next set of games, the story would be further developed, with each new game introducing new mechanics and variations on the theme -- in one, you don a mask to slip past the notice of animatronics; in another, you have to play sound cues to lure an animatronic away from you. By the fourth game, the setup was changed completely, now featuring a child with a flashlight hiding from the monsters outside his door -- nightmarish versions of the beloved child-friendly mascots. The mechanics change just enough between variations to keep things fresh while maintaining a consistent brand. 

There are so many things these games do well from a storytelling and horror perspective: 

Jump Scares: It’s easy to shrug these games off for relying heavily on jump scares, and they absolutely do have a lot of them. But they’re used strategically. In most games, the jump scares are a punishment (a controlled shock, if you will) -- if you play the game perfectly, you’ll never be jump-scared. This is an important design choice that a lot of other horror games don’t follow. 

Atmospheric Dread: These games absolutely deliver horror and tension through every element of design -- some more than others, admittedly. But a combination of sound cues, the overall texture and aesthetic of the world, the “things move when you’re not looking at them” mechanic, all of it works together to create a feeling of unease and paranoia. 

Paranoia: As in most survival horror games, you’re at a disadvantage. You can’t move or defend yourself, really -- all you can do is watch. And so watch you do. Except it’s a false sense of security, because flicking lights and checking cameras uses up precious resources, putting you at greater risk. So you have to balance your compulsive need to check, double-check, and make sure...with methodical resource conservation. The best way to survive these games is to remain calm and focused. It’s a brilliant design choice. 

Visceral Horror: The monster design of the animatronics is absolutely delightful, and there’s a whole range of them to choose from. The sheer size and weight of the creatures, the way they move and position themselves, their grunginess, the deadness of their eyes, the quantity and prominence of their teeth. They are simultaneously adorable and horrifying. 

Implicit Horror: One of the greatest strengths to FNAF as a franchise is that it never wears its story on its sleeve. Instead of outright telling you what’s going on, the story is delivered in bits and pieces that you have to put together yourself -- creating a puzzle for an engaged player to think about and theorize over and consider long after the game is done. But more than that, the nature of the horror itself is such that it becomes increasingly upsetting the more you think on it. The implications of what’s going on in the game world -- that there are decaying bodies tucked away inside mascots that continue to perform for children, that a man dressed in a costume is luring kids away into a private room to kill them, and so forth -- are the epitome of fridge horror. 

The FNAF lore does admittedly start to become fairly ridiculous and convoluted as the franchise wears on. But even ret-conned material manages to be pretty interesting in its own right (and there is nothing in the world keeping you from playing the first four games, or even the first six, and pretending none of the rest exist). 

Another thing I really appreciate about the FNAF franchise is that it’s quite funny, in a way that complements and underscores the horror rather than detracting from it. It’s something a lot of other properties utterly fail to do. 

The Genius of Scott Cawthon’s Marketing 

OK, so FNAF utilizes a multi-prong attack for creating horror and implements it well -- big deal. Why did it explode into a massive IP sensation when other indie horror games that are just as well-made barely made a blip on the radar? 

Well! That’s where the real genius comes in. This game was built and marketed in a way to maximize its franchisability. 

First, the story utilizes instantly identifiable, simple but effective character designs, and then generates more and more instantly identifiable unique characters with each iteration. Having a wealth of characters and clever, unique designs basically paves the way for merchandise and fan-works. (That they’re anthropomorphic animal designs also probably helped -- because that taps into the furry fandom as well without completely alienating non-furries). 

Speaking of fan-work, Scott Cawthon has always been very supportive of fandom, only taking action when people would try to profit off knock-off games and that sort of thing -- basically bad-faith copies. But as far as I know he’s always been super chill with fan-created content, even going so far as to engage directly with the fandom. Which brings me to....

These games were practically designed for streaming, and he took care to deliver them into the hands of influential streamers. Because the games are heavy on jump-scares and scale in difficulty (even including extra-challenging modes after the core game is beaten) they are extremely fun to watch people play. They’re short enough to be easily finished over the duration of a long stream, and they’re episodic -- lending themselves perfectly to a YouTube Lets Play format. One Night = One Video, and now the streamer has weeks of content from your game (but viewers can jump in at any time without really missing much). 

The games are kid-friendly but also genuinely frightening. Because the most disturbing parts of the game’s lore are hinted at rather than made explicit, younger players can easily engage with the game on a more basic surface level, and others can go as deep into the lore as they feel comfortable. There is no blood and gore and violence or even any explicitly stated death in the main game; all of the murder and death is portrayed obliquely by way of 8-bit mini games and tangential references. Making this game terrifying but accessible to youngsters, and then marketing it directly to younger viewers through popular streamers (and later, merchandising deals) is genius -- because it creates a very broad potential audience, and kids tend to spend 100% of their money (birthdays, allowances, etc.) and are most likely to tell their friends about this super scary game, etc. etc.

By creating a puzzle box of lore, and then interacting directly with the fandom -- dropping hints, trolling, essentially creating an ARG of his own lore through his website, in-game easter eggs, and tie-in materials -- Cawthon created a mystery for fandom to solve. And fans LOVE endlessly speculating over convoluted theories. 

Cawthon released these games FAST. He dropped FNAF 2 within months of the first game’s release, and kept up a pace of 1-2 games a year ever since. This steady output ensured the games never dropped out of public consciousness -- and introducing new puzzle pieces for the lore-hungry fans to pore over helped keep the discussion going. 

I think MatPat and The Game Theorists owe a tremendous amount of their own huge success to this game. I think Markiplier does, too, and other big streamers and YouTubers. It’s been fascinating watching the symbiotic relationship between these games and the people who make content about these games. Obviously that’s true for a lot of fandom -- but FNAF feels so special because it really did start so small. It’s a true rags-to-riches sleeper hit and luck absolutely played a role in its growth, but skill is a big part too. 

Take-Aways For Creatives 

I want to be very clear here: I do not think that every piece of media needs to be “IP,” franchisable, an extended universe, or a multimedia sensation. I think there is plenty to be said for creating art of all types, and sometimes that means a standalone story with a small audience. 

But if you do want a chance at real break-out, run-away success and forging a media empire of your own, I think there are some take-aways to be learned from the success of FNAF: 

Persistence. Scott Cawthon studied animation and game-design in the 1990s and released his first game in 2002. He released a bunch of stuff afterward. None of it stuck. It took 12 years to hit on the winning formula, and then another several years of incredibly hard work to push out more titles and stoke the fires before it really became a sensation. Wherever you’re at on your creative journey, don’t give up. You never know when your next thing will be The Thing that breaks you out. 

If you want to sell a lot of something, you have to make it widely appealing to a bunch of people. This means keeping your concept simple to understand (”security guard wards off creepy killer animatronics at a pizza parlor”) and appealing to as wide a segment of the market as you can (ie, a horror story that appeals to both kids and adults). The more hyper-specific your audience, the harder it’s gonna be to find them and the fewer copies of your thing you’ll be selling. 

Know your shit and put your best work out there. I think there’s an impulse to feel like “well, nobody reads this anyway, so why does it matter if it’s no good” (I certainly have fallen into that on multiple occasions) but that’s the wrong way to think about it. You never know when and where your break will come. Put your best work out there and keep on polishing your craft with better and better stuff because eventually one of those things you chuck out there is going to be The Thing. 

Figure out where your target audience hangs out, and who influences them, and then get your thing in the hands of those influencers. Streaming and YouTube were the secret to FNAF’s success. Maybe yours will be BookTube, or Instagram, or a secret cabal of free librarians. I don’t know. But you should try your best to figure out who would like the thing that you’re making, and then figure out how to reach those people, and put all of your energy into that instead of shotgun-blasting your marketing all willy nilly. 

You don’t have to put the whole story on the page. Audiences love puzzles. Fans love mysteries. You can actually leave a lot more unanswered than you think. There’s some value in keeping secrets and leaving things for others to fill in. Remember -- your art is only partly yours. The sandbox belongs to others to play in, too, and you have to let them do that. 

If in doubt, appealing to furries never hurts. 

Do I take all of this advice myself? Not by a long shot. But it’s definitely a lot to think about. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go beat The Curse of Dreadbear. 

[masterweaverx]

RWBY Parents from Best to Worst

That’s right, everybody, I’m a-going to rank how terrible these people are to and for their kids! For the sake of covering as many parents as I can, I am defining ‘parent’ as either ‘legal guardian’ or ‘the one that gave birth to you’, and excluding relationships that are explicitly something else. That does mean that we’re going to miss out on some very important people, though, so before we begin, let’s have some Honorable Mentions!

Yang Xiao Long and Winter Schnee: Professional Momsisters

“That’s why big sisters come first, to protect the ones that come after.” I don’t know who said that to these two, if anybody actually did, but it’s a quote that most definitely applies to them. Not only would they take a bullet (or a sword, or a fireball) for their younger siblings, they took the time out to give them affection and training that they needed when their own parents weren’t quite doing the job. If I absolutely had to rank one of them as the better momsister, I’d say Yang, but that’s really only because Yang had less to deal with overall; a depressed single dad not being able to pull himself together just doesn’t stack up with an abusive powermonger, a self-loathing drunkard, and all the institutional bigotry and pressure of Atlas. Plus, you know, Winter went into the military for a bit. Still, pretty good track record considering!

Klein Sieben: Doing the work of seven good dads

Look, there is only one reason Klein wasn’t listed before the momsisters, and that reason is that he is technically the hired help (and could therefore become the fired help). He is, hands down, a better surrogate parent than Yang and Winter, providing guidance and care to all the Schneeblings and very effectively undoing the damage Jacques Gele (HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!) did to them. And he even helped out Willow! If he was allowed to do more, he would absolutely be My Real Dad of the year.

Qrow Branwen: “The only one that gets to be sad in this house is me!”

Qrow has a lot of flaws. Like, so so many flaws. As Yang said in a noncanon spinoff, he’s cool but not exactly a role model. Thing is, you don’t have to be a role model to be a good parent--you just have to make sure your kids (or nieces in this case) get good advice and the opportunity to grow into the best versions of themselves they can be. And when Qrow’s not beating himself up or drowning his sorrows, he’s actually very good at helping Yang and Ruby. Honestly the only reason he’s not on the actual list is because he’s technically not a parent.

Uncle Copper: Adopting a blind kid automatically makes you cool

So here we have a character that appeared in a single flashback in the novels, but from what we do know he was pretty likely to be a good guy. Like, raising a blind kid is hard enough; raising a blind kid in a desert after their actual parents got nommed by sand is so, so much more difficult. And yet, this guy said ‘If nobody else is going to adopt this kid I will!’ and by all measures he was a very caring and loving guy. Also, shout-out to the tribe, who took Fox in after Copper got killed by some maniac (and also killed said maniac). Fox has had a rough life, but it’s been filled with supportive people. Not everyone can say that.

Starr Sanzang: She put up with Sun

Sure, she’s only had one scene in one novel, but Starr showed patience and caring and... probably did a lot to make sure Sun stays as aggressively cheery and patient as he is. Plus she’s got a dojo in Vacuo now... okay, I’ll be honest, I don’t know nearly enough about her to really assess her. Still, as far as cousins go, Sun Wukong could do a lot worse. And there are the implications of their motifs to factor in...

Rhodes: If you’d done even just a little bit more--!

So, reasonably, what would you do when you see a little girl enslaved with a shock collar? Would you (A) get the girl out of there, (B) arrest the woman doing it, (C) try to get the girl therapy, or (D) all of the above? If you picked (E) secretly train the girl in swordplay so she can join a huntsman academy when she comes of age, then congratulations! You’ve given her hope! Good for you! And what if she snaps after five years of literal torture, kills her abuser, and then turns to you for comfort and/or approval? Welp, obviously she’s an irredeemable criminal and you have to bring her in, crushing all the faith she had in you and herself.

Seriously Rhodes, dropped the ball hard on that one. I’m only mentioning you because you had such a serious impact on Cinder’s development.

Brother Gods: Creating and destroying entire species

Like, okay. Look. These are the two that made humanity, so an argument could be made that they’re humanity’s parents. But, by the strict and arbitrary rules I have selected, they aren’t parents. And even if they were, they would be just the worst sort of parents possible. Darkbro is bad enough, what with viewing only strength as valuable and creating the Grimm and, you know, annihilating humanity that one time, but he’s at least honest and honorable. Not like the cryptic Lightbro, who doesn’t bother making sure people understand him, who doesn’t even keep his own promises to his brother... I get that they’re basically overpowered children. Yeah, they are. Still... kinda terrible.

So, now that that’s all done, let’s get to the actual list! After the break, so you don’t get stuck scrolling a lot. RWBY parents, from best to worst, are as follows:

23. Saphron and Terra Cotta-Arc: Two moms are better than none!

If I’m rating all the parents, and I am, then I have to acknowledge their flaws. And... these two don’t have any! Okay, fine, they used Adrian in a criminal scheme that one time (and that was literally just asking him to cry on command) and maybe Terra’s overworked and, to be fair, parenting a young kid is a lot different than parenting a teenager. But not only did they support their kid, they helped out all the kids that needed to room with them for a while! Saphron may also qualify as a momsister, depending on how well the Arcs managed their massive-numbered horde of kids. Look, the point is: Excellent parents. Bam.

22. Yatsuhashi's Parents: Their slipups weren’t their fault

When your kid can wipe your memories and you don’t know about it, you’re bound to get a few mistakes down the line. Luckily for everyone, after the whole incident with Hiyoko Yatsu came clean, and his parents made absolutely sure that he understood (A) that having such an ability was a big responsibility and (B) that even though he really screwed up he was NOT evil. Given the man that Yatsuhashi is now, I’m pretty confident in calling them great parents--even if they only appeared in a book flashback.

21. Coco's Dad: He exists!

That’s... honestly all I really know about him. He’s mentioned once in the books, and Coco has a few brothers. I’m kind of just assuming he’s a good parent from that, even if he didn’t figure out how to help Coco with her claustrophobia. So... yeah, shrug, Coco’s got a dad.

20: Ghira and Kali Belladonna: Actually marvelous people

Loving. Caring. Mentoring, protective. You may be asking why these two aren’t lower on the list, given that they are absolutely great for Blake, and I’ll have to admit that they only really made one slipup--letting Adam talk with Blake.

And okay, look. The thing about people like Adam is that they don’t start out showing their true colors. It’s always a slow, gentle broil. Blake was young and stupid, Adam was cute and edgy, and these parents want their daughter to be happy. So not twigging on what Adam really was--or at least not being able to properly convince Blake--that’s entirely understandable. And they did instill her with a strong enough moral code to leave when enough was enough, and they absolutely welcomed her back with open arms. Frankly, if the lower-listing parents didn’t exist, I would happily say they are the best parents in the show.

19. Pietro Polendina: He took Penny’s death flags

When you carve out part of your literal soul to bring your girl back from the dead, you get MAJOR parenting props. And even beyond that, Pietro is an absolutely caring and supportive father to everyone’s favorite bundle of sunshine. Even when she’s put in the rough position she was in, Pietro did his best to help her out. His one big flaw, though, is being overprotective and a bit presumptive. He does want Penny to live her best life, but he also can be just a touch too quick to say he knows what’s best for her. To his credit, when he’s called out on it, he does mend his ways. And he’s at least better then the GENERAL...

18. Salem and Ozma: Good parents, surprisingly!

Sure, Salem decided that world conquest was a good idea and wanted to put down anybody that wasn’t directly from her bloodline. Sure, she psychologically manipulated her husband when he had doubts. And, being fair, it’s highly likely that her four daughters were killed in the crossfire of her and Ozma’s little tuff. But! That was likely an accident, she’s been shown to still clearly mourn their passing, and before that point she absolutely loved and adored the girls. Ozma gets points for being a generally good person who fell in love with her before she became unstable and, honestly, was just trying to help his girls escape... and hey, he blames himself for their deaths. As does Salem.

Just because they’re kind of directly responsible for a LOT of Remnant’s woes doesn’t mean they aren’t good parents!

17. Will and Meg Scarlatina: Estranged but loving...

Yes, I know Rooster Teeth hasn’t officially confirmed that Bill is Will. I still believe though! Also it makes for a great picture, in any case.

Look, you can be the best and most loving parents ever--and from what we saw in the novels Will was definitely loving--but if you split up, your kid is going to get a little stressed. And hey, it’s not like these two were terrible people! Velvet’s just got a lot going on because of things entirely out of her control. Parents are people too, but sometimes the stress of one situation will leak out into another. Just... give people time to adapt.

16. Nicholas Schnee: The man, the legend, the titan!

Nicholas Schnee is the rockstar success story of Remnant. Some guy from Mantle put in all the work to make the SDC, and honestly from what little we know about him he was probably a great guy! But if we’re registering parental goodness, well... he wasn’t quite smart enough to warn Willow away from abusive gold diggers, and he’s not present when the story starts. So, yeah, even if he was a good parent otherwise--and I think he would be--he kinda... didn’t put in the work to prevent Willow breaking later. Still. Not deliberately terrible!

15. Li and An Ren: Don’t die in front of your kids, folks!

Seriously, it traumatizes them, especially if there’s a Grimm assault going on at the same time. Oh, double-especially if you reassure them that everything will be fine literally the second before the roof collapses on your head. And... well, okay, you couldn’t help your son and some random girl being the only survivors...

In all seriousness, that whole situation was absolutely out of their control. And before their deaths they were shown to be loving, wise, giving good advice to Lie Ren and helping him understand what the right thing to do was. Honestly, if they hadn’t died in front of him he’d be a lot better, mentally speaking. His trauma is not their fault. Plus Li went out distracting the big Grimm so Lie could run. No greater love hath man, indeed.

14. Summer Rose: Loving mother, ticking trauma bomb

When she was around, Summer Rose was probably the best mom Yang and Ruby could ask for. Sure, everyone could be exaggerating a little on how great a person she was--fond memories and grief can do that--but even taking that into account, she was probably a great and wonderful woman to be raised by. And hey, it turns out the reason she vanished was to go confront basically the Devil Herself so her kids wouldn’t have to live in a world where she existed! I can totally get the logic behind that.

And to be fair, “I’m going to do this on my own so nobody else suffers” is a pretty common character flaw among the RWBY cast. There are entire arcs where each character learns to overcome it. Still, wandering off on your lonesome without telling anyone was not the smartest move, Summer. Especially if you expected to die--which, you know, Devil Herself, high probability. And you know, if you had died, that would be bad enough, but now Ruby’s practically certain to have to fight your grimmified self. At least she figured out what happened to you before Salem decided to hammer in the trauma button, so she’ll be a little more ready, but... seriously.

13. The Arc Parents: Look, you try juggling eight kids!

To be fair, neither Arc parent has appeared on screen, but we can derive some of their traits from their kids. Jaune’s father said women like confident men. Jaune’s mother said strangers are friends you haven’t met yet. Jaune’s sister moved out of the house and (it’s implied) was happier for it. Jaune himself took his family’s ancestral weapon and ran off to Beacon to become a hero without any training whatsoever....

I get the impression that these two are not horrible parents, but they aren’t really stellar ones either. They slip up, don’t understand their children, give some really bad advice (as well as really good advice), and... look, it’s kind of middle of the road here. The Arcs could be wonderful people that just weren’t ready for the complexities of raising eight kids. I come from a big family myself, I know it can be stressful. And their kids turned out well anyway, so...

12. The Mother of Pyrrha Nikos: You taught your girl too well

Hero complexes are funny things. And Pyrrha Nikos... in retrospect, she was really hiding a lot of insecurities under that facade. Laying it all at this woman’s feet is unfair, I’ll admit, a lot of that came from being The Mistral Champion. But... with stories and fairy tales of heroes, it’s not hard to imagine a genuinely loving mother making sure her daughter knew right from wrong, always knew to act with mercy and protect the weak, and made her hardline into being a hero at the cost of her own... sense of self. It wouldn’t even be something either of them noticed, really. Good people can make bad choices sometimes.

11: Ilia's Parents: Oh god, can good people make bad choices...

So the idea of getting Ilia up to Atlas for a better life, that rocks (if you assume the propaganda to be true). And I’m certain her parents absolutely did what they did out of love. But what they did, you see, was tell Ilia to hide a very important part of herself from anybody who could find out, since it was likely she would be kicked out of the school she was in if people found out she was a faunus.

Which actually, did a lot of damage.

I mean look at Ilia now! She has trouble expressing herself until she explodes, she follows a crowd instead of her own morals, she broke down in tears when she finally did the right thing... Conceal Don’t Feel is never good advice, and these two went on and said ‘Honey, because of racism, you have to hide the fact you literally change color when you have emotions.’ Oh, and then they died offscreen--again, not their fault, but boy howdy did it give Ilia a complex.

10. Taiyang Xiao Long: Slumped at just the wrong time

Honestly, Tai as he is now is a wonderful dad. Supportive of his daughters in their time of need, able to lift their mood with a tasteless joke or two, frankly if we were assessing just how they were in the moment... I’d still be a little critical of his refusal to talk about the girls’ mothers, but hey, that’s minor. Compared to, you know...

Okay, so this needs serious addressing. Taiyang cannot be blamed for falling into a depressive slump. People can hurt, and need time to heal. That said, his depressive slump is at the root of Yang’s many issues, and frankly if she hadn’t had to pull herself together for Ruby she would be a major mess. It’s a bad situation all round, even if it’s not his fault.

9. Willow Schnee: “Kids, don’t wind up like me.”

Drowning her sorrows isn’t the best way to handle being stuck in an abusive marriage, but it was the best way Willow could think of. And, yeah, that really cut into her skills as a mom... but despite that, she did her darnedest to make sure her kids had what they needed to free themselves. Heck, once Jacques was out of the picture, she even pulled herself together and risked her life to save them! A broken women, to be sure, but not a shattered one.

8. Neptune's Mother: She exists!

Being fair, there’s not a lot to go on here. We know Neptune’s mother is a lawyer (insert evil lawyer joke), that their family are famous swimmers, and that his brother caused his hydrophobia by tossing him into the water. It does paint a bit of a picture, though, of everyone having expectations for Neptune that he was not able to live up to. Pretty poor parenting, if it’s true.

7. Nora Valkyrie's Mom: Come get your girl!

Literally the only factoid we have about Mama Valkyrie is that she abandoned her to the Grimm. We don’t know when this was, and it’s feasible it’s a case of ‘Oh No I Lost Track Of My Daughter In The Panic!’ But given we see young Nora scavenging for scraps of food... I’m not optimistic on her parenting skills.

6. Raven Branwen: "I wasn’t part of your life, how could I ruin it?”

Raven is just not a good mom at all. And, surprisingly, she seems to know it. Or that’s one interpretation of her character. The thing about Raven is that she plays her cards close to chest. We still don’t know why she left her daughter, and we only have inklings about the reasoning behind her behavior once they reunited. In the end, though... she did concede to Yang, she did apologize for something, and there’s a very deliberate indication that a lot of her behavior is a mask to both others and herself. So, terrible mother, for the moment, but self-aware.

5. Salem's Father: Explicitly noted as cruel

We get a bit more about Salem’s father from ‘Fairy Tales Of Remnant’, how he became possessive of the last remnant of his wife and locked her away in a tower. From what we know of him, that’s all he did--lock her away and not let her go. Still makes him a terrible dad. And with this, we transition firmly into the most definitively abusive parent figures. Everyone before this might have the excuse of not realizing what was going on or having their own damage, but now we’ve got parents actively deciding to make their kids’ lives worse.

4. Jacques Gelé: HE DOES NOT GET TO BE CALLED SCHNEE!

His children are property, to be manipulated and traded for the benefit of the company he married into, and any defiance is to be quelled instantly. He is manipulative, scheming, abusive, and frankly the worst sort of scumbag to ever wear a white suit. He does have the single redeeming quality of only leaning into the punishment if it benefits him; nobody would ever accuse the man of being needlessly cruel. His name is Jacques, and you will hate him... especially on the rare occasions he actually has a point.

3. The Marigolds: There’s no peppy tagline, they’re just mean

There’s not a picture of these jerks on the wiki, so you’ll have to make do with the woman that is no longer their daughter. See all that empty space around her? That’s about as close as they ever got. May spells out how much they hated her for having a heart, and how little they cared about her as a person, in one epic line. And even if they have other redeeming qualities (unlikely) we can tell they’d probably still be terrible parents because of how sleazy May’s cousin is. Honestly, for once I’m glad some characters don’t get pictures. They don’t deserve to be remembered. They aren’t even the cool kind of evil, they’re just... gross.

2. Marcus Black: Look if you train your kid to be a killer...

...you’re going to have to expect them to kill you. I mean, you basically ripped apart Mercury’s legs, man. He had to get cyberlegs. Also, you used your semblance to steal his. Which, given that semblances come from aura, and that aura is a manifestation of the soul, is kinda... that’s a deeply personal and intimate violation. Sure, you got your assassin kid. And can we talk about the fact that Marcus was an assassin? It’s not a pretty job. I guess I can see all the abuse--physical and mental--as a good way to train up another assassin, but... geeze, if that’s your goal, why did you use your own kid?! Why not hire some angsty teenager?! Yeah, no, Markus Black stood high on my list of parental monsters... and was only toppled by the arrival of one other.

1. Madame of the Glass Unicorn: She only appeared in one episode and she rocketed to the top of this list, that should tell you something

Let’s be clear here: What Madame did to Cinder is bad enough. It was literally slavery. Enforced by a shock collar. And because the collar looked like a necklace, she pulled it off in front of I don’t know how many clients. Granted, said clients were racists, why else would they be customers at a ‘We Do Not Serve Faunus’ hotel, but keeping her torture just out of the public eye very clearly shows both that she knew what she was doing was illegal and that she was clever enough to avoid detection.

Oh... and then there are her birth daughters.

With Cinder, she was abusive to a dangerous degree. With her daughters, she was permissive, not only allowing but encouraging them to bully their adoptive sister. The whole point of parenthood is to teach your children how to become the best version of themselves, but Madame didn’t even bother to instill a semblance of morality in these girls. She used them as extensions of her will, and they obliviously played along because that was all they knew.

You’d think the biggest monster on the show would be the Grimm woman, but no--it’s some random lady with a hotel.

[blossom-hwa]

hi! i really liked your sungyoon fanfiction, light the pyres—apocalypse aus are great. very nervous to ask for your 4th anniv event but could i perhaps get kang yeosang + the title "3 of hearts?" (if anyone reading here knows what show it's from ily!)

hi love! light the pyres is actually one of the works I'm most proud of so it makes me so happy to hear that you liked it! thank you for your request - I'm not sure what 3 of hearts it from lol (maybe one of my followers does), but I hope you still enjoy this!

4 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/The Boyz/Golden Child/Ateez member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

I guess this could be seen as a sort of spinoff of Kingdom (read the series here) - I haven’t posted the next parts yet, but this takes place in the Queendom of Hearts, which is where Checkmate is set :D like Kingdom, it’s heavily inspired by Marissa Meyer’s book “Heartless” - the story of a queen who went mad over love >:)

Uh so TXT Yeonjun is technically here but please don’t take my characterization of him as anything even close to who he is irl.... just think of it as me taking just his name and slapping it on a character I made I’m sorry

~

Title: Three of Hearts

Pairing: Yeosang x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 1.6k

Triggers: mentions of blood and death (semi-graphic)

~

They said you were born under the three of hearts, a spell of kind fortune, a card of good omen. "Your child will be beautiful," the diviner said when she placed you in your mother's arms. "They will love deeply, and in return, they will be loved greatly."

It was a blessed birth for the Kingdom of Hearts, whose rulers, though loved, had not been able to secure an heir for many years. Already the conception of a child was a miracle - to have you born under such an auspicious card only heightened the excitement, cast even more light on a day already filled with laughter and joy. Your parents showered you with love, and as the years passed, you grew in blissful happiness, surrounded by those who adored you. And truly, it seemed you were the three of hearts personified - for with you were two boys, Yeosang and Yeonjun, your best friends, who followed you everywhere you went. 

It was inevitable, then, people whispered, that at least two of you would fall in love. 

At the age of six, seven, ten, even twelve, you could ignore this. You could play the innocent card that came so easily to those born under the three of hearts, bat your eyes and cock your head and ask “What do you mean?” in reply to the questions people asked - do you have a crush? I’m sure you do. It must be on one of the boys you’re always running around with, yes? But as you grew older and the question of to whom you would extend your hand in marriage became increasingly important, your eyes began to fixate on soft blond hair and warm brown eyes, smile widening in the presence of a deep, gentle voice accompanied by the loveliest sparkle in his eyes. 

The traits of a certain best friend and heir to the Kang family fortune. 

He offers a courtship under the flowering wisteria tree just under your window, pale cheeks tinted with blush as he stutters his way through a short confession. Your heart warms, lifts, bursts with joy as you accept with a smiling nod, rejoicing that you have found a match who will love you as much as you love him. Three of hearts, you think giddily - I will be loved as much as I give it.

The stages of courtship seem to pass by all too slowly and at the same time, all too quickly. Caught up in a whirl of fine clothes and presents and ceremonies, you fall asleep every night eager to wake at dawn, if only to see Yeosang’s face the next day. Every moment with him seems too short, and every moment with him feels too long. 

One afternoon under the wisteria tree, you complain of this. Yeosang laughs at your indignation, though when you go to hit his shoulder, he catches your fingers with soft, warm hands, before kissing your forehead gently. “It will be all right,” he murmurs, pulling away just enough for you to see the sparkle in his eyes. “We’ll have a lifetime together, after this.”

A lifetime. Born under the three of hearts, destined for a life of love and happiness, you believed it. 

So much, in fact, that you forget to watch out for the second best friend at your side. 

It never occurred to you to take caution with Yeonjun. He was your best friend. Even upon the announcement of your engagement, he only ever smiled and congratulated the two of you, knocking your heads together teasingly when you got too mushy for his taste. Yeosang even asked him to be one of the groomsmen when the wedding date was set. 

So you never notice the way Yeonjun’s gaze always lingers on you a little too long, the way his eyes darken whenever you place a chaste kiss on Yeosang’s lips. You do notice that he spends more and more time away from you, away from Yeosang as the wedding approaches, but it’s easy to put it down to affairs of the Choi family that you simply aren’t privy to. Perhaps something has gone wrong. Yeonjun would tell you about it in due time, wouldn’t he?

On the night before your wedding, you and Yeosang dance together under a sea of sparkling stars, white engagement outfits shimmering under the night sky. The people cheer. Your parents wipe away tears. You almost cry, too, wrapped in the warmth of Yeosang’s arms around your waist, his eyes smiling into yours. 

You part ways with promises of tomorrow and a lifetime hanging on your lips. When you finally fall asleep, it is to dreams of a beautiful future, complete with Yeosang by your side. 

Instead, you wake up in a world where he is dead.

They say the servant who found the body went mad afterward. You don’t blame them. When you saw the body covered in its rips and stains of red, it felt like a part of your mind simply disappeared. Scrambled. Something. All you could see was the body splashed with blood, unseeing eyes wide open and glassed with the sheen of death. 

And there’s no time to grieve, either, because the next day, the Choi family storms the castle with shouts of a coup and rebellion on their lips. 

All you can do is stare into Yeonjun’s stony expression as he orders the execution of your parents right before your eyes. 

He finds you in your rooms a week later, a beautiful prison of silk and satin that they took away so you wouldn’t hang yourself before he came. His eyes soften upon seeing you, but when he reaches out a hand, you slap it away. 

Only one word leaves your lips. “Why?”

Love, he says. Love for you. Love that burned fierce, hot, so unlike the soft warmth of Yeosang’s hand, love that burned so bright it couldn’t stand to fall second to the gentleness of Yeosang’s smile. His heart burned for you, beat for you, enough to plan all of this, enough to ask, even now - 

“Will you marry me?”

The wisteria tree outside your window is in full bloom under a bright, cloudless sky. A mockery of the day Yeosang asked for your hand and you gave him your heart. 

In the absence of blades and bullets, no one should underestimate the power that fingernails can do to raw skin and bone.

“You worthless, worthless human being,” you snarl, even as guards drag you back from Yeonjun’s bleeding face. “Worthless - worthless - I will never marry you -”

“You will,” Yeonjun snarls back, now a safe distance away from the blood caking your nails. “You will or you will die.”

You don’t die. You almost do, jamming the lock on your door and smashing the fortified window with a superhuman strength you believe Yeosang and your parents have lent you for one night, just one night before leaping into the branches of the wisteria tree, crashing to the ground in a heap of branches and flowers and glass. They nearly catch you - an arrow pierces your shoulder and another streaks so close it almost cuts off your ear - but you escape. And hide. For days, weeks, months...

Until you return with a sword and murder in your eyes, slashing through every guard on your way into the castle until you come across Yeonjun sitting upon your father’s throne, the crown of your family on his head. 

“Would you?” he whispers, the tip of your sword positioned over his heart. “Would you, truly?”

A blank smile curves your lips. “Of course,” you whisper. “Just the same way you would.”

They crown you queen with triumph in their eyes, songs of a royal who avenger their lover’s death when a jealous suitor got in the way. You listen to it with stony eyes and teeth gritted behind your lips, especially when they speak of the three of hearts, blessed above all, destined for a life of love -

There is no love left in your heart that wasn’t taken away with the death of Yeosang and your family.

You execute the Chois. You execute their allies. You root through the kingdom, imprisoning those with even a semblance of a relationship to the man who killed your love, who took the blessing of your card away. The songs die away, replaced by whispers of a queen gone mad with the loss of their love. Triumphant shouts of a blessed three of hearts turn into murmurs of a curse, a new meaning to your card - perhaps not one destined for love, but one whose life will end in tragedy. Pain. Suffering.

They are wrong. Your life was full of love, love that you gave on your own and love that was given by those around you. It was the cause of your happiness and the reason for your suffering - love killed Yeosang and your family, just as it killed the last bit of humanity in you. 

The words of the diviner mock your grief. 

“Your child will be beautiful.”

Not as beautiful as he ever was. 

“They will love deeply.”

Where did that get you? 

“And in return, they will be loved greatly.”

Where did that get him?

No longer do they speak of the three of hearts as a blessing, as a sign of blissful omen. Instead, they speak of it as a curse, a curse of love, a curse of madness, a curse of tragedy to follow at every bend. 

Good. They’re right.

The love that the heavens wrought never brought anything more than pain, anyway.