#i adore every little interaction between these two bands

[screamsinsilver]

absolute belovedests

[suplicyy]

Hii, i saw your requests are open, so i'd like to make one, headcannons. Tsukishima, kuroo and lev timeskip x male reader, it can be gn reader too, where they're dating very famous actor or singer reader, they don't have problem of their partner being famous, but they get jealous some times.

Sorry if i'd made a mistake on my writting, english is not my firts lenguage.

All Eyes On Me

Timeskip!Haikyuu boys x Famous!Reader

— Summary: They date a very well-known actor/singer, who has recently been very successful and consequently receiving more fans, which makes them a little jealous.

— Characters (timeskip!): Tsukishima, Kuroo, Lev.

— Fluff | Male!Reader

Tsukishima Kei

You were the lead singer of a band, but when it split up you decided to pursue a solo career. And sometimes it even seemed to be more famous than when you were in the group, to be honest.

To put it in context, Tsukishima started dating you at the end of your old band, so he was able to see your entire solo career process up close.

During this period you were depressed, because the band members had gone their separate ways due to conflicts between them, so he was the one who supported you and gave you the strength to continue your dream at this moment.

And you are so grateful for all his support at this time, that you even wrote and sang a song especially for him. Every letter, every verse, was all dedicated to him.

And coincidentally this became one of your most famous songs, so much so that it started to go viral again on all social networks. And that was also how people started looking for who had made this divine melody, and came across your ig.

Not only were you a great songwriter, but in addition to having a mesmerizing voice, you were also, in fact, very beautiful. This resulted in a lot of success and, of course, many passionate fans.

With the two of you choosing to reveal your relationship only to those closest to you, most people didn't know you were dating. But Tsukishima was starting to regret not telling the whole world that you were his.

The last straw was when you received flowers from a secret admirer in your studio; and you had even assumed that it was Kei who gave you the gift, but you dismissed your doubts when you asked him about it.

He was very jealous. Of course he didn't admit that to you, but his attitude said completely otherwise. And this was confirmed the day after you received those flowers.

Tsukishima and you generally didn't like to have dates in busy places, due to the fact that you were both introverted and preferred the tranquility of your home, in addition to the fact that you always had fans who recognized you.

Of course you adored all of your fans, but the constant interactions could get tiring from time to time.

Returning to the subject... you went for a walk on a pleasant afternoon to a coffee shop that had recently opened.

What you didn't realize was that a paparazzo had sneaked into the place, sitting at a table further away from the two of you, but still keeping an eye on your actions, waiting for the perfect moment to take an exclusive photo of you on a date with a "stranger".

Perceptive as always, of course Tsukishima noticed the person's presence, but he didn't talk about it with you.

He saw this as the perfect opportunity to give you a sweet but lingering kiss on your lips.

Which gave the photographer images that would yield an entire week of the most talked about topics on social media.

Kuroo Tetsurou

With the release of a new album after 3 years on hiatus, the group you are part of has become one of the most popular today.

And with the emergence of new songs, you were one of the members who gained many fans in the process.

During the period when the group was inactive, you met Kuroo through mutual friends, and it was almost like love at first sight.

In less than a month you were already dating, but you only revealed it to your social circle, which means the rest of the world had no idea you were in a relationship.

So of course Kuroo would be jealous to see so many fans talking about how attractive you are, or how a TV presenter blatantly hit on you in the middle of the recording.

But of course you never paid attention to that, you only have eyes for your only love (which is clearly him), and you made a point of making that clear to him every day.

Even though you assured him that everything was fine, he still felt slightly jealous.

But he promised himself that one day the entire Galaxy would know that you were his, and of course, that he was all yours.

One day, you and your group were invited to participate in an exclusive interview with a renowned reporter.

She was well known for liking to talk about her interviewee's personal life, so of course you wouldn't be able to escape all the questions she would give you.

But you weren't worried at all, it seemed more like you were confident.

"So [Name]... a lot of your fans always wonder if you're in a relationship since you're pretty private, so it seems like they're curious about it!" "Oh yes, I don't really like exposing my personal life, you know, I've always been known for being the more closed type." you say in a polite tone, which makes the reporter laugh slightly at your response.

"Well... so does that mean you're already committed? Or maybe you're looking for romance?" you laugh a little embarrassed at his question, but soon compose yourself with a proud expression on your face.

"Actually..."

You show your hand to the reporter, then point to the golden wedding ring lightly hugging your ring finger.

At that moment, everyone knew that you were already committed, but many didn't know that your beloved was none other than Kuroo Tetsurou.

Lev Haiba

You are an actor who recently completed a triology of a very famous action film.

Your great acting mixed with your appearance worthy of a Renaissance painting helped you to win the role of antagonist in the movie.

Furthermore, it was in this environment that you managed to meet Lev, the love of your life who has been with you for 2 happy years.

You were once asked to participate in a photo shoot along with several famous actors and models, which included Lev and his sister.

That day you struck up a conversation and discovered many things in common, and in the end, Alisa encouraged the tallest one to ask for your number, which you immediately agreed to.

Everyone was already aware about your relationship, as Lev once accidentally told about you in an interview.

But it's not like you were worried about what would happen due to the revelation, you loved him too much and would do anything to stay by his side, and he thinks the same.

Even though everyone respects your relationship and the two of you live a peaceful life together, Lev still can't contain his jealousy, especially given the current situation.

Due to your angelic appearance, you were called to be a protagonist of a romance film. The actress who would be your romantic pair in the movie was also very handsome, and some people on the internet who were oblivious about your relationship with Lev assumed that the two of you were attracted to each other.

You really wanted to deny the rumors, because you were completely faithful to your loved one, but the film's management told you to wait until the recordings were finished, so as not to cause a scandal.

He knew you loved him, but seeing other people say things they didn't know about you made him sulk all day.

But then he had an idea.

You were called at the last minute to take part in a photo shoot for a men's fashion magazine.

You were aware that you would have to take photos with someone else, but at no point was it revealed to you who that person would be. But when you saw a familiar silver hair peeking out over the curtain that clearly couldn't hide his bizarre height, you knew exactly who it was.

Even after doing the photo shoot and it was coincidentally released a week after that rumor that you were dating the other actress, he still confesses with a straight face that he begged the magazine to allow you to participate in the photo shoot with him.

And he also shamelessly asked for a photo of the two of you to be placed on the cover of the magazine.

— A/N: Apologies again for the delay!!! Some urgent things happened here at home and I needed to reserve most of my time to resolve them, so I ran out of time to finish writing this😓

[tkaulitzlvr]

Plz write about reader accidentally kissing someone else. Thanks in advance!

MISTAKE - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: a fan puts you in an awkward situation, tom getting the complete wrong idea, putting a divide between the two of you as you try to explain yourself, tom thinking of a different way to resolve this.

content: angst, angry sex, a little fluff at the end.

a/n: thank you for the request i hope u like it, i had sm fun writing this!! sorry it’s so long i got carried away…😭😭

“oh my god i love you so much!” another fan says, tears streaming down her face as i sign her autograph, sending her a warm smile and moving onto the next.

tom isn’t too far behind me, signing other fans autographs and taking pictures with the rest of the band, this being the standard before and after every event. we had just wrapped up the 2008 EMAs, getting ready to leave, not before acknowledging his fans. with me being his long term girlfriend, aside from the occasional fan who would hate on me purely out of spite, i had become quite popular amongst his fanbase, signing autographs and interacting with them turning into a regular occurrence, but i didn’t mind it. these people had given tom the success he has, and i couldnt thank them enough, taking pictures and speaking with them, even if it is only for a few seconds, being the least i could do.

and to say that tom likes how much his fans adore me is an understatement. he treats me like his prized possession, his face beaming with pride as i speak with every fan i can, occasionally turning around to see him smiling back at me, so much love in his eyes that my heart could melt at the sight. he wore two headbands, one black and the other grey, his long dreads tied up in a ponytail, losing his usual flat cap and opting for a dark brown t-shirt that read ‘tokio hotel’.

i however, wore a long black dress, the bottom split at one side, the material hugging my figure perfectly, paired with some black heels, my hair straightened and makeup caked on, excessive amounts of jewellery around my body. i was surprised tom hadn’t made any moves on me the whole night, the public eye never really stopping the PDA from him. he didn’t shy away from telling me how beautiful i looked before we arrived, promising that he would show me once we were back at the hotel room, and i knew exactly what that would entail, the details better left unsaid.

my body begins to feel slightly tired after being at the award show for hours, the amount of fans that i’m yet to speak to not going down. i approach the next one, already a little weirded out. he looks around my age, maybe a few years older, a strange smirk on his face as his eyes rake down my body, undressing me with his gaze. i already feel uncomfortable, unsure of what to say as his eyes stop at my cleavage, not even uttering a word.

“hey! how are you, is there anything that you want me to sign?” i eventually say, the guy quickly looking upwards, as if he hadn’t been checking out every inch of my body seconds before.

“can i get a picture?” he says simply, his tongue poking out as he slowly licks his lips, not breaking eye contact with me.

my insides are churning, the thought of him checking me out making me want to throw up, internally praying that tom could be beside me right now. i quickly look over, seeing him too immersed in signing fans autographs to glance in my direction, the high pitched sound of girls screaming his name leaving him a little distracted from me, understandably. i plaster a forced smile on my face, trying to be done with this guy as soon as possible so i can move away from him, already feeling super on edge.

“of course!” i say, moving closer to the barricade as he pulls out his phone.

he moves his hand, reaching it outwards as i assume he is going to put a friendly arm around my shoulder, not minding this as it’s something a lot of fans do. instead, his hand stretches towards my face, turning it so that it is facing him instead of the camera like it previously was, placing a kiss onto my lips before i can even register what is happening.

the second that i process another person’s lips are touching mine, a person that isn’t tom, i frantically pull away, my breathing fast and heavy as i quickly turn to face tom. he is already looking at me, having just witnessed the entire thing from a few metres away. he is pissed. his jaw clenched, eyes hooded, chest heaving up and down as he completely ignores the girls shoving paper and pens at him, begging for an autograph.

i ignore the guy, knowing that if i speak my mind to him in this moment, i’ll deal with a pretty big scandal. instead, i rush over to tom, tears clouding my vision, trying to push them back as i force a smile, walking over as he steps back from the fans, facing away from the crowd.

“we’re gonna talk about this once we get back. don’t think that you’re getting off the hook, what the actual fuck?” he whispers, his teeth gritted. “now you’re gonna act like everything is fine until this whole thing is over, yeah?”

“but tom i-” i begin, desperately trying to explain myself.

“i don’t wanna fucking hear it. you’ve done enough, don’t you think? now smile.” he mutters, quickly turning back around to the crowd, wrapping his arm around my waist and planting a kiss onto my cheek as if nothing has happened.

the fans go wild, screaming loudly, the paparazzi loving this, knowing that pictures of tom and i are something that the world goes literally crazy for. flashing lights blind my vision as i try to blink the tears away, doing so successfully, putting my emotions aside for the sake of tom’s career, desperate to get out of here so that i can explain myself, tom clearly getting the wrong idea.

“kiss her properly tom!” someone within the crowd of paparazzi shouts, tom flashing them all a smile, pecking my lips as the cameras go wild, taking advantage of the opportunity. i can tell that he is pissed from the way his lips touch mine, his hand around my waist, the other hanging loosely by his side, no love in the kiss. but he doesn’t let anyone else see that. to anybody else, it would look completely normal, like a couple with no problems, not as if tom had witnessed me kiss another guy with zero context. his hand grasps mine, interlocking our fingers, taking me over to an interviewer beckoning us over, this the part i am dreading most.

she smiles warmly at us, speaking into the microphone, tom still holding my hand, squeezing it slightly, this not to comfort me, but to remind me to act normal.

“so guys, how are you both? and, congratulations to you, tom, and the rest of tokio hotel for winning an award tonight!” she says, pointing the microphone to tom as he smiles before speaking into it.

“we’re doing great. it feels so crazy to win another award with the band, we couldn’t have done it without our fans, so thank you, all of you.” he says, smiling warmly at the camera as the interviewer takes the mic back.

“and, as tom’s girlfriend, how does it feel to be here with him tonight, and, i’m guessing there’s gonna be big celebrations later on!” she laughs, winking at me when saying the last part.

“yeah, it’s amazing. i feel so honoured to be here with him and the rest of the band tonight, i’m just so proud of how far he’s come, and i’m so thankful to be on this journey with him.” i nod, smiling and looking into his eyes as convincingly as i can, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

tom leans into the mic, the interviewer pointing it in his direction. “and to answer the second part of your question, i don’t think we’re gonna be doing much sleeping tonight.” he smirks, winking in my direction as i laugh lightly, smacking his arm and rolling my eyes playfully.

as angry at he is right now, he is good at not showing it as even i question if he is acting anymore, his affection so natural that it doesn’t seem forced.

the interview drags on for at least another ten minutes, asking questions about our relationship, to which we answer the best we can, appearing to convince the interviewer and crowd pretty well. she ends it by thanking us, wishing us a great night as we walk away, big smiles plastered on our faces as we head to take more pictures, paparazzi again demanding us to be as intimate as we can, tom and i obliging, followed by more interviews.

“tom can you please just listen to me-”

“i don’t want to hear it, just get in the car.” he says, opening the door for me and climbing in, sitting silently with his arms crossed as the car falls silent, the driver taking us to the hotel room.

the entire ride home is silent, tom completely ignoring me as he won’t touch or even look at me, his head resting on the window, jaw clenched and his entire expression angry. i try to hold his hand, moving my fingers and attempting to intertwine them with his, but he shrugs them off, refusing to say a word.

we stop outside the hotel, the driver opening the door for us as we both say our thanks, stepping out of the car. tom walks ahead, not waiting for me as i struggle to keep up, only catching up once he buzzes for the elevator, both of us stepping inside, tom standing on the other side, looking downwards at his feet and refusing to make eye contact with me.

“baby please just let me talk, i can explain.” i plead, my voice a little shaky, slightly scared of his ability to so naturally act like he is in love with me in front of the cameras, but once we are alone, he can turn from caring to cold in seconds.

“what, you can explain kissing another guy right in front of me? can you fucking hear yourself?” he scoffs, tutting as the elevator opens. his hands are in his pockets as he lifts his body up from where it was slouched against the wall of the elevator, walking ahead of me once again, using his key card and entering the hotel room, finding the rest of the band already there. they had left earlier than us, already finished with their interviews as the band had done their collective ones earlier on, tom and i only needing to stay to do our separate ones.

“hey guys.” tom says, saying nothing more as he walks into our shared bedroom.

bill furrows his eyebrows in confusion, and i send him a small smile, mouthing ‘i’ll explain later’, before following where tom had gone. the bedroom is dark, tom not in there, but the balcony doors are open. i can make out his figure through the darkness, smoke coming from his mouth as i look towards the lit cigarette in his hands, hesitantly joining him on the balcony which overlooks the city.

he takes a quick glance at me, looking forwards and ignoring me as he had since the incident had happened.

“you gonna keep ignoring me? or can i explain?” i ask, trying to stand a little closer to him, testing what my boundaries are.

“nothing for you to explain.” he mutters, bringing the cig to his lips, inhaling and watching the smoke exit his mouth.

the cold breeze of the night causes me to shiver a little, my strapless dress not helping me out as i rub my hands up and down my arms in an attempt to warm myself up.

“i didn’t fucking kiss him. jesus christ do you think i’m some slut who can’t contain myself? i haven’t cheated on you throughout our whole relationship, tom, and i definitely wouldn’t do it in public like that.” i sigh, the tears already beginning to form in my eyes as i can see that he isn’t in any position to hear me out, his mind already set on what he thinks he has witnessed.

“what so i was fucking hallucinating when i saw him kiss you?” he scoffs sarcastically, putting his cig out and looking into my eyes for the first time, his full of rage, a lit fuse ready to blow. he shakes his head when i stay silent, walking back into the bedroom.

i don’t give up yet, quickly following him into the room.

“he asked for a picture. i wasn’t even looking at him, i was looking into his camera. he grabbed my face and kissed me. he forced me onto him, and i pulled away. so can you stop being so fucking stubborn, ‘cause i’m tired of this shit. i shouldn’t feel bad when you’re too childish to hear me out! so fucking grow a pair and-”

my heated rambling is quickly cut off my tom firmly pressing his lips against mine, walking me backwards until my back harshly collides with the wall, a gasp leaving my mouth as i do so.

“fucking shut up.” he mumbles against my lips, his hand reaching behind me as he quickly pulls the zipper of my dress down, pushing his tongue into my mouth and kissing me with so much hunger that it is hard to remember why we were even arguing in the first place.

but the harshness of his kiss tells me that he is still irritated, taking out his anger on me in the best way possible, his hands reaching for the top of my dress, pulling it down my frame without removing his lips from mine, letting it hit the floor, leaving me in only my black lace panties.

he moves his hands to underneath my thighs, lifting them up in one smooth motion, wrapping them tightly around his waist as he walks us to the bed, his tongue still exploring my mouth, only fuelling the need to feel him inside me, the burning in between my thighs getting harder and harder to ignore.

he lays me on the bed, wasting no time in climbing on top of me, my hands scrambling to removing his t-shirt, lifting the material up and over his head. he moves his knee in between my thighs as he unbuckles his belt, the hunger mixed with pure lust causing me to grind on him, brushing perfectly against my clit as i sigh out in pleasure. tom has his tongue pressed to the corner of his mouth, almost mocking my desperation.

“getting off on my knee, you’re that needy? baby you need to use your words. i’ll give you what you want, you just need to say the word.” he teases, pulling his pants down and throwing them somewhere on the floor, leaving him in just his boxers, our underwear now the only thing separating us.

he climbs back on top of me, moving his knee as i whine slightly, a little frustrated at the loss of contact. he buries his head in the crook of my neck, biting at the skin harshly, soothing the slight pain with his tongue after, sending a chill down my body, my breathing becoming erratic as he begins to grind down on me, knowing exactly how to tease me.

“you know what you want.” he whispers against the skin of my neck, before carrying on placing slow and wet kisses there, knowing he will leave marks afterwards. “just say it. say what you want.”

i feel him smile against me, enjoying the way i wither beneath him, completely at his mercy, so desperate to feel his dick inside me.

“i need you…inside me.” i breathe out, my fingers moving to the inside of his boxers, fiddling with the waistband as i just want them off, tired of his teasing.

“was that so hard?” he asks, kissing me roughly as he moves my hands away, tugging his boxers down and moving to my panties, pulling his lips away from me and using his teeth to pull them down a little, loving the way my breath hitches in my throat when he does this. he replaces his mouth with his hands, swiftly taking my panties off, leaving us both naked.

“don’t think i’m going easy on you. i’m still pissed about earlier.” he begins, positioning his tip at my entrance. “i just knew i’d be able to get you all worked up doing this.”

he stops, looking into my eyes as our faces are inches apart, before moving into me, stretching my walls as he gives me no time to adjust, bottoming out inside me and almost completely pulling out, snapping his hips once again.

“fuck- too much.” i whine, the pain overtaking the pleasure as i squeeze his bicep, my eyes watering as my teeth sink into my bottom lip.

“i thought you wanted this.” he taunts, slowly moving out of me again, before thrusting into me again, a restrained groan escaping his mouth. “can you not take it, hm?”

all i can do is moan in response, trying to caress his chest as he begins a fast rhythm, showing no remorse as he moves in and out of me at a rapid pace.

“mm, no touching.” he says, taking both my arms and placing them above my head, using one hand to hold them in place, whilst the other begins to toy with my clit, the pain quickly subsiding as i am lost in pure ecstasy.

his tip brushes over my g-spot, a loud moan emitting from my parted lips, my eyes screwing shut, unable to take the pleasure as it hits me faster than ever.

“oh my god, there…right there, please tom!” i cry out, biting my lip to try and contain my moans, remembering that the rest of the band are right down the hall, not wanting them to hear any of this.

“here?” he teases, angling himself so that he isn’t just brushing over the spot, his tip is directly hitting it over and over again, my release fast approaching.

“that guy…” he begins, pressing his hand on my lower stomach, the print of his dick moving in and out of me now visible. “he couldn’t fuck you like this. only i can, mhm? say it.”

i am so lost in pleasure that i don’t even register what he is saying, my eyes rolling to the back of my head, legs going numb as they instinctively wrap around his waist, bringing him closer into me, allowing him to drill into me even deeper with each thrust, hitting angles that i had never felt before. i don’t comprehend his words until i feel his thumb touch my bottom lip, dragging downwards until it releases with a pop.

“fucking say it.” he demands, grunting lowly and moving in and out of me even harder, my legs feeling a dull ache between them as the knot in my stomach only tightens, my release fast approaching.

“only- fuck! only you can do this.” i manage to breathe out, my words so incoherent that they can barely be made out, so lost in pleasure that i am beyond the point of caring.

“i’m close baby.” tom says, connecting his lips with mine once again, our mouths sloppily colliding as small moans are muffled within the kiss. i can’t even tell him that i am close too, but the way i clench around him gives him enough of an idea.

his dick twitches inside of me as he pulls away, his mouth hanging open whilst his head falls back, a choked moan escaping his mouth as i feel his cum coat my walls, this triggering my own release. my ability to speak is quickly lost, a high pitched moan leaving my mouth as i let my release take over, my vision clouding up as the pleasure becomes too much, tom clearly not looking to stop as he chases another release, my eyes squeezing shut as i quickly become overstimulated.

“too much…” i whine. “cant take it.”

“should’ve thought about that before you let me catch another guy kissing you. i’m not stopping till you fucking understand only i can do that.” he replies, flipping us over so that i am on top.

“ride.” he says, placing his hands on my hips as mine rest on his shoulders, his lips moving to my collarbone.

“i can’t.” i sigh, tears clouding my vision as i fall onto him, completely exhausted. my legs ache, my inner thighs sore from him not letting me adjust, my throat dry from the sounds he made leave my mouth.

he sighs, guilt taking over his expression as he begins to feel a little bad, his hands reaching to rub my back.

“you did so good schatz.” he says, pulling out of me as i whine from the loss of contact, my body hot, forehead glistening with sweat. “you okay? did i go too hard. sorry, i was just angry, if i took it too far you have to-”

i cut him off by gently pecking his lips, reassuring him. “it’s fine, tom, i’m okay. i’m really sorry about tonight.”

“it wasn’t your fault. sorry i was such an ass about it.” he apologises, tracing random shapes along my back. “i think it’s best i don’t leave your side in public from now on, yeah? i swear to god if i see that asshole again-”

“don’t worry about it, it’s okay now.” i laugh, taking his hand and playing with his fingers, my breathing slowing down. “i don’t think he’ll be coming to anymore events that we’re at, you should’ve seen how humiliated he was when i pulled away. fucking loser, i don’t understand what else he wanted me to do.”

he chuckles slightly, tightening his hold on me and planting a soft kiss on my forehead. “let’s get you cleaned up.”

he takes my hand, laughing at the way my legs shake as i struggle to walk, taking me towards the bathroom and running me a bath, showering me with kisses for the rest of the night.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 6

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 28.5k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: The last one ended in quite an intriguing note, didn't it? Hope this one answers some questions but I can't promise there's not gonna be more to rise by the end of it lol. Very much excited to see how you lot react to this one, I absolutely adore reading you reactions every time! It's a little roller coaster from now on I'd say... Enjoy!

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(27/07/2012 16:10) Holy shit Alex! The Olympics opening ceremony?! Congratulations!! You and the guys did amazing!!!

Alex was on a high, his hands had been shaking ever since they had been told they were due on stage at the Olympic Stadium in fifteen minutes, his heartbeat thud in his ears even after having come back to the box they had been assigned to watch the rest of the ceremony; so when his phone buzzed and he saw Ella's name on his screen, he thought it was all a figment of his imagination.

But ten minutes later, when he ended the call with Andy Nicholson who had called to congratulate them, Alex had seen her name still swimming between the mass of messages he had gotten. He paused for a few seconds, his finger hovering over her name while he asked himself if he was actually seeing correctly.

When he went on her chat, he was met with the multiple texts he had sent back in February and she ignored, a bitterness came up his throat as it was still lingering even after it being months since it had happened, but just below those forgotten texts was the one she had sent him over twenty minutes before.

It was the first text he'd gotten from her after a little more than five months of no contact, no calls, no texts, no 'just watched this movie and you are gonna love it!', no 'the guitars in this song are something out of this world', not even a text when the 'R U Mine?' music video had come out just a week after she had run off set.

He missed her and he had thought of texting her every day for the first month but he was a coward and had no idea what would've been the best way to approach her since he really had no proper clue of what had happened and, if he was being honest, the blatant avoidance from her part had hurt his ego and a part of him was waiting to see if she'd be the one to reach out.

So, as his attention was taken over by Arielle, he let the days go by and waited for a chance in which they could talk again and maybe take the opportunity to clear the air. But one month turned into two and there was no effort from her side.

Arielle was a constant in his life by then, but the presence of the girl hadn't completely diminished the thought of Ella, not when he still wanted answers because the lack of clarity behind her complete switch of behavior was eating him up inside.

He had given Matt's comments that night a thought but in his mind it really didn't make sense, because to him it all had been just innocent banter with Arielle and, having experienced Ella's honesty the more they opened up to each other during that week-long tour, he knew Ella would've told him if it was that which had upset her.

Yet Ella hadn't and that led Alex to come to the conclusion that it must've just been too much for her. He had been too eager when showing his interest in her and, whilst she had been accepting of it at first, it must've built up until she just couldn't take it and reciprocate it.

There also was how she had dialed down her behavior towards him when his coworkers were there and, in a desperate attempt to think of answers on his own, Alex thought that maybe someone had commented something that just completely threw her off and made her cut it all off suddenly.

And as the weeks passed, and he gave his hypothesis a thought, he also reckoned it must've been something to save herself any heartache. Because, after all, they both knew Alex was going to leave and maybe cutting him off completely and ignoring whatever it was she felt towards him would be the best option in order to not get hurt by time and distance. Not everyone could take it and he knew just how cruel that could be.

So he didn't blame her for making that selfish decision, but he couldn't help feeling a bit disheartened about the sudden change of it all with no hint of a heads up, with no explanation at all. And there it went again, the pang in his chest when he thought of just how many things they had spoken about and how it felt so weird that she wouldn't speak to him about it.

In those months of radio silence, Alex had heard about her from the rest of the band, who got texts from her or would call her from time to time but it was not the same. So he wasted no more time, typing a response as fast as his shaky fingers could and ignoring the calls of his girlfriend to get in a picture with the lads.

(27/07/2012 16:22) Ellie! Thank you! xxxx How have you been?

(27/07/2012 16:23) Wonderful, Alex :) Say hi to the guys for me!

(27/07/2012 16:23) Will do xx They're pushing me over to get pictures, talk to you later alright? x

(27/07/2012 16:24) Sure! Talk to you soon.

He pocketed his phone as he walked towards his friends, everyone cheering as he stepped beside Matt.

Flashes had blinded him all night, the combination from the lights and the alcohol had made his head dizzy so as soon as he got home, he showered and fell right asleep. He'd had a busy night, he felt on cloud nine with his best mates and his parents beside him, his girlfriend there as well to witness one of their biggest accomplishments.

He was still elated the morning after, meaning that, after he kissed Arielle goodbye as she went to meet up with some of her friends, he remembered how he had gotten the chance to talk with Ella after so long so he took his free time to ring her up.

Of course, he was so distracted that he forgot it would be much earlier for her than for him. Her phone rang on her night table, waking her up. She only managed to grab it with her left arm, extended as far as she could and when she saw it was five in the morning, she slowly woke up from the fear that something might have happened.

Her eyes hadn't opened to see who it was before she picked up, "Hello?" her voice was groggy from sleep, and she cleared her throat right after the greeting left her lips.

"Bloody hell," Alex cursed quickly, wincing at his mistake. "I forgot it's still very early for you Ellie. Sorry." He whispered like that would help in any way.

Ella chuckled, amused at how mortified he sounded, "S'Alright. How are you? How crazy was yesterday?" A yawn escaped her lips at the end, so suddenly she didn't have time to conceal the sound of it.

A smile broke out on his face, he was eager to tell her all about it and stay on the phone with her for hours on end if she let him but just as he was going to start narrating how the night had gone, a deep groan from the other side of the call made the words get stuck in his throat.

Right after the groan came the shuffling of sheets and a question from someone he didn't know who it was that had him frozen in his place, "Who is it, babe?" Said the man who was with her, the pet name had felt like a slap across the face for Alex.

She had snorted, the way Alex had gotten used to hearing daily months before, and she replied playfully, "Just a friend who forgot about time zones, baby. Go back to sleep." Right after that, there was a faint sigh and a second or two of the sheets ruffling around before she talked back to the singer this time, "Are you still there?"

Alex could only clear his throat as he gathered his thoughts, "Yeah, erm, yes." He pinched himself to snap out of it, and to start his recount of the previous night's events, forcing himself to sound chipper. "It was mental! The stadium was packed and, bloody hell Ella, I swear I had come to terms with it and was not nervous about it when we were rehearsing but you should've seen me fifteen minutes before it was our time to perform, I was fucking shaking."

She cooed, "Oh Alex," She pouted to herself as she scratched her boyfriend's hair, smiling when the man resting on her chest hummed in satisfaction. "But you did amazing, I promise! We were just watching the ceremony, and when you guys were announced I was fully shocked. Bre told me she was in London but she never told me you were performing on the fucking Olympics!" She whisper-shouted the last part, making Alex chuckle.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We sort of couldn't tell anyone we were actually performing, Bre was surprised when Matt told her an hour before we got to the stadium."

She hummed, "Well I can forgive her then. You did The Beatles great justice as well, that cover was amazing and the whole show with the cyclists was just stunning."

"It was," Alex agreed, "Was shitting it because imagine if we butchered a Beatles song in the UK, in front of the Queen and the millions of people watching everywhere."

Ella laughed too loud, making her boyfriend flinch, "Sorry" she whispered to him and then continued, "Well, thankfully that didn't happen. You'd be exiled from your country." She continued giggling softly, "That would be just as bad as actual treason."

They both laughed for a little bit until the giggles died down to sighs. She wouldn't deny that she had missed talking to him, and she didn't like admitting it to herself but she was just very glad his voice wasn't making her feel like at the start of the year. It gave her the hope that maybe this time they could just be friends, now that she had finally let go of whatever she felt for him.

"We're going to LA next month," Alex broke the silence, his voice had a hint of doubt as if he was scared of what she would answer. "We're staying until mid-september 'cause we're gonna record the next album over there."

"Oh really?" Came from her, with just the right amount of excitement, "You're gonna start recording already?"

"We are. I have some stuff written down already and some chord progressions, I wanna see how we can complement it with the lads." He held his breath, not really knowing how it was that she'd continue to react.

Ella cooed and let out a small "Yay!" Even if at first it had been hard hearing their music after everything that had happened back in February, she hadn't been able to avoid it for that long. So she was actually excited to hear whatever they would come up with, knowing how good 'R U Mine?' already was.

"Well, Turner, you're gonna have to let me know when y'all get here so we can all catch up, I know just the place to take y'all." She warned, her voice teasing him as if he'd get in trouble if he didn't let her know like she was asking.

"Fair enough, I will let you know," the singer promised. "I'll let you go back to sleep now, sorry I woke you up so early, Ellie."

She just let out a faint giggle, just a polite one so he wouldn't feel bad about it, "It's all good, Alex, don't you worry."

"I'll talk to you later then, darling." Alex's breath caught in his throat instantly, upon realizing he had just called her by the pet name he hadn't used in so long.

But Ella didn't flinch, it was like it had flown right past her head, "Bye Alex, talk to you later." and with that she ended the call.

Ella blew air out in relief when her insides didn't flip at him calling her darling so, she dropped her phone back on the night table and turned to cuddle closer to her boyfriend, fully at peace knowing the singer's effect on her seemed to be long gone.

Alex, on the other hand, felt something bubbling inside of him because it all kept playing on his mind. He kept hearing the man calling her 'babe' and her calling him 'baby' and just the faint notion of her having a boyfriend made him feel uneasy.

The mystery man got a face when Arielle came back to his flat. Alex had mentioned to her how he had gotten to chat with Ella on the phone, throwing in his new discovery subtly to see if his girlfriend had any information about it.

He was taken aback when Arielle dropped her bag on the settee and turned around with a knowing smile. "Oh yeah, they are so cute! I thought you had her on Instagram?" she had a slight frown while pulling up Ella's page to show Alex.

He shook his head, "No, erm, I only got it a few months ago remember? You helped me open it."

She let out an elongated "Ohhhh," as she clicked on Ella's page, "Well you should've asked me for her page silly, I thought you already had her there since she's your and the guys' friend."

He pulled out his phone and handed it to her, Arielle gave him her phone so he could see Ella and her boyfriend together. But his eyes were met with a very different Ella, one he almost didn't recognize, and he felt goosebumps break on his skin at the same time his body lit up on fire.

On the bottom of her page he could see her typical analog shots, of bits and pieces of cities and artsy photoshoots with models taken by her, but as he slowly scrolled up her page there were tons of picture of her in motorcycles, wearing leather and, in a particular one, not much more than a bikini and her cowboy boots.

That picture was the first one that caught his eye but he wasn't going to start ogling Ella's Instagram and get all flustered about it in front of his girlfriend so he scrolled further up until he stumbled upon a picture of her and her boyfriend.

He knew what he felt was jealousy because how could he not? When she stood there with her back to the camera but her face turned to the side, and the man's hand was in the back pocket of her jeans as he kissed her cheek, which had ended with her scrunching up her nose in response. He missed that face much more than he'd ever let on.

Alex could feel Arielle's eyes on him so he forced himself to smile fondly, "Yeah, they're cute."

Arielle grabbed her phone back from him as she slid his phone towards him, "I know right? Have you told Ella we're coming next month?"

He nodded, locking his phone right after hitting 'follow' and then he walked towards the balcony that was in his room—he needed a cigarette. "I did," he nodded as he grabbed his Marlboro reds from the coffee table in his living room, "She said to let her know when we're there, she wants to take us to this cool pub she found."

A bright grin appeared on Arielle's face, "Oh I'm so excited to see her again, she's so lovely isn't she? You know she got me that big Coke campaign? The one that got me invited to that event that got me an agent?"

He paused in the middle of the hallway, "Oh really? Well, that's very nice of her."

"I have to buy her a few drinks as a thank you for it." Arielle finished while she turned on the TV, Alex took it as a sign to leave her to it.

Once he got to his room and out to the balcony, he wasted no time to unlock his phone and scroll through Ella's pictures.

Her hair was darker now, she'd dyed it fully black and she looked amazing with it. Her ears looked like they were now adorned with multiple piercings but it wasn't just her ears that had jewelry, she had a septum piercing now. The thin gold piece of jewelry subtly poking from the bottom of her nose. She looked so different but still as stunning as ever.

In about five minutes of scrolling he had also found out that she'd gotten a bike, and both she and her boyfriend seemed to drive around California in their free time. There were pictures of her driving in the back of her boyfriend's bike surrounded by a large group of bikers and she'd captioned it 'nothing better than driving down the coast with your biker friends and the sunset in the background.'

There were pictures of her and her boyfriend in Tennessee, one in particular that made him take the longest drag out of his cigarette. Her boyfriend was sitting on the grass by a wooden fence, his legs spread as she sat in between them. Her brown cowboy boots on and a little white dress, her boyfriend had a cowboy hat that was hiding them kissing in the picture. The caption read, 'he's a cowboy like me.'

Another picture that made his blood boil was one that had captured her ass being groped by one of her boyfriend's hands. She was wearing some really small high waisted shorts that hugged her bottom perfectly and he wanted nothing more than to be in the place of that man. He let out a long sigh when he read 'he says i'm a handful'.

But then he scrolled further up and he lost his breath again at the picture of her in a bikini he hadn't really gotten to properly see before. She was wearing a silver bikini and her black cowboy boots as she sat on her bike, one of her legs was up as she rested her heel on the seat. She had her hands set a little behind her ass so she was leaning backwards with her head slightly thrown back, her face was half covered by a cowboy hat but it couldn't fully hide her closed eyes and her open mouth. It looked like she was moaning and Alex was losing it.

Fuck.

He went to the bathroom then, his pants too tight after he'd seen the picture and he didn't know what to do. It was either a cold shower or a guilty wank.

He was quick to jump in the shower, the water cold as it hit his chest and his face, but as he closed his eyes he found the picture engraved in his mind, meaning he wasn't finding a solution in the cold shower.

He came rather fast, a few minutes it took him as he imagined the noises she would make. Replaying her voice saying 'baby' and imagining how she'd sound moaning that in his ear. But afterwards, as his consciousness came back to him, he started to feel bad. His girlfriend was right outside, while he fucked his fist to the thought of someone else.

This is the first and last time, he promised himself.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had gotten a call from Matt's phone about a week before the band was due back in California, they had started it by yelling out her name and she'd chuckled at their volume. The lads had told her that they were landing in Los Angeles on Saturday the 18th, meaning she had to wait a week to see them all again.

She had missed them quite a lot so it hadn't been a hardship to know she had little time to prepare herself for their arrival. She was mostly excited, getting to see them all again, as well as Breana who she hadn't seen in a month—and she was missing her best friend a lot—, and to see Arielle again too.

As soon as they had landed, Bre had given her a call and they had settled on meeting at the pub Ella had been talking about at around seven in the evening.

So there she was, shoving her boyfriend's bike keys in her purse before locking her fingers with his and walking through the establishment's doors. She was surprised to see them there already, as she was only five minutes late to their agreed time, but the excitement multiplied then.

It was a fairly loud place, but the ambience was spectacular. They always played the best music and the walls were filled with band posters, tour memorabilia and little trinkets that were framed on the walls to commemorate different big artists in history. She loved coming to the place, especially on karaoke nights, which unfortunately wasn't happening that day.

"Well, well, well, fancy seeing y'all here." Ella greeted as she approached the large booth and they all jumped to their feet, her name being cheered by them all.

The difference from her right then to the start of the year struck Alex harder in person. The gold on her ears and poking out the bottom of her nose contrasted beautifully against her tan skin, and her leather jacket was a fine new addition to her look. He was glad to see she was wearing a pair of cowboy boots, one he hadn't seen before but it made him smile seeing she hadn't left that behind.

She let go of her boyfriend's hand to go hug everyone. She went from Nick to Jamie, Alex, Arielle, Matt and finished with Breana who she clutched a tad tighter as she claimed, "I missed you so much!"

Breana replied, "Missed you more," before she went to Ella's boyfriend and gave him a friendly hug, "How have you been, Jules?" the nickname for him falling easily from her lips as she'd met him a handful of times before.

The man had smiled, hugging her back, "Amazing, Bre. How was your trip?"

"It was fucking lovely, you two have to come with me next." the model winked at Ella, making her roll her eyes as she blushed.

She hummed, "Maybe... We'll see." and before she could sit down beside Breana, she introduced her boyfriend to everyone. "Guys, this is Julian, my boyfriend. Julian, this is Nick, Jamie, Alex, Arielle, and Matt."

Of course his name is Julian, Alex though. Not being able to shit on his name because he shared it with one of his favorite musicians.

Julian had gone to shake everyone's hands as Ella sat down beside her best friend. Her cheeks hurt already at everyone being so nice to her boyfriend. Alex took a good look at him when he shook his hand: he was tall—about six feet he could say—, his shoulders were broad, and even if he didn't look extremely bulky, he seemed like he made it a habit to work out, his skin was tan and it complimented his wavy dirty blonde hair but it was Julian's green eyes, though, what made him want to roll his eyes. The man was good looking, and it made Alex want to punch him even more.

"Saw you guys playing at the Olympics opening ceremony, that's massive! Congratulations." He smiled at the musicians as he took a seat beside Ella, his arm snaking around her waist and she scooted the tiniest bit closer to him with a loopy smile on her face.

And he's nice too? Fucks sake. "Thanks man," said Alex with a tight lip smile, tilting his half empty glass towards him before gulping it down.

Matt wasted no time before he started teasing Ella, "So Ellie, been pretty busy then?"

She rolled her eyes playfully, "I actually have been. Focus Creeps have been doing lots of productions for artists and bands since your videos were posted and now we have another PA. I'm kind of mentoring her, which is still surreal to me that I am but yes."

Matt pouted in fake pity then, "Poor girl, she must be tired of you."

Ella scoffed and everyone laughed, including Julian. She turned to pinch her boyfriend's waist, "Why are you laughing?!" She scolded him and then turned back to call out the menace Matt was, "You are a bully, Helders." She shook her head with a frown on her face, which dissipated when Julian left a kiss on her cheek. Her face melted into one of pure bliss with a big tight lip smile.

Alex wanted to gag.

"You love me Ellie." The drummer stated with a shrug.

Ella ignored him and turned to Breana, "I really wonder how you can stand him."

"You and every one of us, Ellie." added Nick with a snort, making everyone laugh.

Ella asked them all what drinks they wanted, seeing as most of their glasses were almost empty on the table, the ice watering down whatever alcohol they were drinking. Julian and Breana had gone with her to get everyone's drinks and when they came back, it wasn't long before they fell back into conversation.

They had been including Julian, which made Ella very happy, and an hour later they had found out lots about him. He was Californian born and raised, a photographer that worked for a well acclaimed magazine, sometimes writing pieces for them as well. He also worked as a freelance photographer and videographer, he had been hired for a bunch of different jobs: from weddings that had made him travel to many places, to filming documentaries on crab fishing in Alaska.

Everyone was so entranced by that last story, that it made Ella all hot and bothered. Every time he would tell it, she always grew hypnotized by him and the way he would explain it all, especially by the way he would use his hands. So when he was done and the conversation had moved onto another topic, she leaned into his ear to have him subtly follow her to the bathroom.

Julian smirked, knowing exactly what she meant and what she wanted to happen. The girl stood up, excusing herself and made her way to the bathroom, and Julian stood up a few minutes after her.

They had been rather quickly, or at least that's what she thought as she walked back to the table with Julian following a few steps behind her. She had gone ahead and sat back on the booth whilst her boyfriend had gone to get her another drink, and that's when she was met with the fact that they hadn't been subtle at all.

The first and most obvious clue was that her red lipstick was gone and her lips were puffy. Matt had elbowed Breana softly, pointing his chin towards Ella and smirked.

"Had fun Ella?" Matt asked vaguely with a very suggestive tone.

She frowned and felt her cheeks heating up but tried to play dumb as she downed whatever was left of the vodka and sprite she'd left on the table. "Huh?"

Jamie had caught up exactly onto what Matt was saying so wanting her to just fully admit it, he pushed, "Oh c'mon Ella, your lipstick is gone."

She knew her cheeks were pink but she couldn't care that she'd been caught so she shrugged it off, "The heart wants what it wants."

"And it wanted to give a blowjob?" inquired Arielle this time with a knowing smirk on her face.

Ella nodded at her with a smug expression, "It did." She admitted, no longer giving a shit.

They all hollered and that made Ella laugh. Julian came back to the table right then, a smirk on his face as he sat down and put her drink in front of her. He didn't know what the ruckus was about but he didn't really care when he was on cloud nine and very satisfied in every meaning of the word.

"Thanks babe." Ella said to him and took a sip of her beverage, thankful that she had asked for a double vodka and sprite this time. "Oh they know, by the way." She let him know with a sheepish smile.

Julian laughed then, throwing his arm around her shoulder, "Told you to put your lipstick back on, didn't I honey?" They all laughed as Ella shook her head but found comfort in her boyfriend's hold and her drink.

Breana couldn't help but ask, "So did he return the favor?"

She took another sip of her drink, basking in the coolness of the liquid running down her throat. "We'll resume things when we get home." She winked at Breana who responded with a shriek and Julian squeezed her thigh under the table.

What the fuck? Who is this and where is Ella? Alex kept thinking. She didn't seem like her usual self, it was all so out of character that he wondered what had happened for her to be so blunt and open like this.

Jamie interrupted Alex's thoughts when he said, "Right let's change topics then, before they start shagging on top of the table."

They erupted in laughter, Alex faking it to not be obvious about his distaste on what was unfolding before him. And then a song came on that actually worked perfectly to change the subject. "Oh I love this place, their music is always on point." Julian commented.

'New York City Cops' by The Strokes was coming through the speakers, Julian Casablancas' voice mixing with the chatter around the place and the clinking of glasses.

Jamie smiled then, glad to see they were finding more things in common with the lad, "You like The Strokes?"

He nodded, "No band like The Strokes... no offense guys."

He has a good taste in music too? Alex had to try his hardest not to roll his eyes.

"None taken. There truly isn't any like them." Nick waved him off.

Ella tapped the table frantically with the pads of her fingers when she remembered something they had told her. "Oh my god! Tell him how you met them!"

"Wait, you have met them?!" Julian inquired with his eyes wide open.

Alex nodded, "Yeah man, they're amazing. We met them after the NME awards in 2006, they took pictures with us after we won Best British Band and Best New Band. I still can't believe we've met them, they were the reason we started this band—or well, the reason I wanted to start a band."

"That's fucking amazing! I'm jealous now, damn." He added with a chuckle, making everyone smile back at him.

Yeah well, not as jealous as I'm of you and whatever happened in the bathroom with your girlfriend, mate.

About thirty more minutes went by before Julian turned to whisper something in Ella's ear. She smiled fondly, gave him a kiss and whispered something back to him before giving him his keys. He stood up, saying he sadly had to go but he'd had the best time meeting them all, and telling Ella to phone him when she wanted him to pick her up right before he left the table.

Ella was all heart eyes as her eyes followed his steps towards the entrance, and when Julian turned back around to blow her a kiss and wave her goodbye, she mirrored his actions.

Breana cooed at them, "Aren't you two cute?'' She hugged Ella to her side and squished her cheeks with her free hand.

"Stop it." The PA whined with her eyes almost closed, her words barely audible as her cheeks were still being pressed by Bre's hand.

Nick settled his drink down before starting a conversation up, "Now that he's gone we can properly gossip."

That made Ella chuckle, "What do you want to know?" She rubbed her face as she was now free from her best friend's hold but still felt her fingers on her skin.

Arielle was quick to ask the first and most important question, "First of all, how did you two meet?" which everyone was really dying to ask.

Ella sighed, "Well that's half cute, half embarrassing." She finished her drink before narrating. "So it happened at this country pub I had driven past one day, I decided to just go alone one night to check it out. I was drinking some whiskey the bartender had told me was really good and wasting my time watching some college football they had on, when he sat down beside me and started talking to me. He's lucky he's cute or else I would've told him to fuck off because I just wanted to be alone." She chuckled as she reminisced.

"I was sad that day, I don't remember why though." She was lying, she remembered exactly why, as it had only been a week after whatever happened with Alex. "We must've been talking for about half an hour when they put on some music and people started swing dancing. He stood up and grabbed my hand saying we should dance too. I told him I had no idea how to and he said to just follow his lead."

She shook her head and her smile got brighter as she continued, "Fast forward five minutes later he had me in his arms, and told me to kick one of my legs up. Of course I did it wrong but he was so cute correcting me. Next thing I know he had thrown me up slightly and somehow my leg was around his neck and that's how he got me to completely turn to the other side, still in his arms."

Ella tilted her head for a second to point at Breana as she said, "The next half of the story involves her, and I'm still mortified about it."

Breana snorted at the memory, and the PA kept going, "So later that night, I was texting him and Bre at the same time. I had just gotten around telling Bre the bit with the leg when I accidentally sent him what I was going to send her..." Ella blushed hard and she paused, too embarrassed at the memory to even say it out loud.

At the cliffhanger, Jamie pushed her to continue, "Go on then, what did you say?"

"I don't even wanna say it out loud." Ella hid behind her hands, but Breana was quick to respond for her.

"She said 'One of my legs has been on his shoulders already, wouldn't mind having both legs up on them.' You're welcome Ella, now continue."

Ella gasped, letting her hands fall from her face, "I actually hate you."

Arielle had her hand covering her mouth, every single one of the lads were shocked as well. Matt was the first one to talk though, "Bloody hell, Ella! What did he say?!"

Her cheeks were red as she looked up to everyone, "He just said 'Well I wouldn't mind that either' and the rest is history. We went on a lot of dates, called each other every day if we were not hanging out together until one day we decided we already were acting like a couple so we might as well make it official."

Nick was the next one to go, "How long have you been together then?"

"It's been a little over four months." She replied quickly, knowing exactly the day off the top of her head.

Alex let his thoughts leave him before he could process them, "Not long after we left then?"

Ella avoided his gaze, playing with the straw in her empty glass, "Nope, not long after."

Alex nodded, taking the information in. It all seemed so unlike her, especially after what she'd told him about her relationships; she wasn't one for starting something with someone she'd just met and that's exactly what she was doing here.

Everyone at the table had felt the air shift around them at that last question and answer, but thankfully for everyone, Alex's girlfriend was none the wiser to the whole situation and she was a romantic so she felt like she had to know something else, "Have you said the L word yet?"

That loopy smile was brought back to Ella's face at the question, "Yes," she said shyly.

Breana gasped then and hit her arm, "What the fuck?! You haven't told me this!"

Ella turned to her, grabbing her best friend's hands, "I know, I know. It only happened a week ago so I was waiting for you to come back to tell you."

"Do tell then." Breana insisted, not really having the patience to wait until they left and she could call her so that Ella could finally tell her in private.

"Fucks sake." She cursed under her breath, seeing all eyes on her. "We were at his parents house and I had just met his sister, who has the cutest little baby. They had gone to buy dessert and left me and Julian with the baby. I was holding her and she kept blabbering on and on, and I kept acting as if I was talking with her when he just leaned into me and kissed my cheek and told me 'I love you so much'."

Breana shrieked, "Oh my god!!! Are you joking?!"

"I'm not," Ella's cheeks hurt from how big her smile was and Arielle was cooing at the story too, "I thank everything out there that we were sitting or else I swear I would've dropped the baby out of shock."

"Did you say it back?" asked Alex, sipping on his whiskey.

And curiosity killed the cat.

Ella nodded enthusiastically, "'Course I did, I adore that man." It was so easy for her to admit, and she would scream it out loud as many times as she could if she had the opportunity to.

Alex nodded in response, he was having an internal debate: he was happy that she was happy but he didn't like that it was someone else that got to be like that with her. And for that he felt so selfish.

Breana and Arielle let out long 'awh's in unison, Nick scrunching his nose at Ella before saying, "Look at you in love, it's disgusting." a fake tone of endearment on his voice.

"Right?" added Jamie in the same tone.

"You are about to get married," she pointed at the bassist first and then to the guitarist, "And you just got engaged, so don't talk shit when you're the same."

"Well I didn't just suck my boyfriend off in the bathroom, so I can definitely talk shit." Jamie was quick to reply back, making her roll her eyes.

"Can't you just let a girl have some fun? Jeez." She exclaimed before she got back up, "Anyone want a refill?" They took a fair few seconds to reply to her, she was much more straight forward now and it was leaving them stunned.

She went off with Breana again, this time Matt following right behind. But right when they got to the bar and she was waiting for the bartender to finish serving the three ladies beside her, Matt told her some news that almost made her heart stop.

"Have Ben and Aaron told you we're having you record a little documentary for us?"

She turned to the drummer faster than she realized she could, "What?" Her frown was deep, her eyes searching his to find any clue that he was just joking.

But Matt wasn't joking, "Yeah, you're gonna be at the studio with us for a few weeks during this month we're staying. I think we're coming back after the holidays to continue recording so you're joining us then as well." He explained the best he could with the little confirmed information he had.

Her mouth opened to talk but the words got stuck in her throat, "I–, erm. They hadn't told me anything, but um, yeah I'm gonna ask them on Monday."

"Brilliant!" The drummer replied before letting the bartender know what drinks they wanted.

Once they got back to the table and they had given everyone their respective drinks, their conversations resumed. They had pinballed from the Olympics to Nick's upcoming wedding planned for exactly a year from then, to some celebrity gossip they had heard around at the Olympics to the pictures taken that day and that's how Ella had ended up saying:

"You two are actually adorable," her gaze stuck on Alex and Arielle, the couple just smiled at her. "I've seen so many pictures of you everywhere, I'm so happy for you guys."

Arielle brought her hand to her chest and cooed, "Awh thank you, Ella."

Ella took a sip of her drink, really needing the liquid courage to ask her first question, "How long have you been together then?" Her tone made it seem lighthearted and like she was just making small talk but this was it for her, the last thing she wanted to know before fully putting the matter to rest.

Arielle turned to Alex, looking directly into his eyes for a few seconds like the answer was right there and then turned back to Ella, "So it started that night when we filmed 'R U Mine?' remember?" She asked Ella, and the PA could only fake a tender knowing smile as if that night hadn't been awful for her for that same thing.

"He left right after, but I was going to the UK with a friend a couple of weeks later so we met up over there and," She blushed slightly and grabbed the singer's hand on top of the table, rested her head on his shoulder and shrugged, "It all just happened, I suppose. So it's been about three months hasn't it?"

He hummed, squeezing her hand. "I reckon three, yes."

"Awh, adorable." Ella replied with a sweet smile, she felt relieved by the sense of closure. Yes it did sting a bit how fast he had changed her, not even 48 hours after they had gone on a date back then and how he had decided to make the girl he'd switched her for his girlfriend; but the hurt lasted for a few seconds, she felt free then. The whole situation had somehow brought her Julian, and she was very much grateful for that.

"You didn't tell me how that talent recruitment event went, Arielle. Was it good?"

Arielle gasped then, "Ellie, you're a godsend for that! After the Coke campaign I got the invitation for it and I'm signed now!"

Ella clapped her hands, "That's fucking amazing! Congratulations!"

And that's how they spent the next three hours, talking about everything that they'd missed in the past months they hadn't seen each other. Until Julian had called Ella to check up on her and tell her he was already done at his parents' house, and he could come by picking her up in the next twenty minutes.

She accepted her boyfriend's proposal, it was nearing midnight and she was spent. She promised to see them all soon again when she got a text from Julian saying he was outside, grabbing her purse from beside her and pocketing her phone before hugging everyone goodbye.

From the table they had the perfect view of the street, meaning they got to see how Ella basically threw herself onto Julian's arms, him catching her and clutching her tight as they swayed for a few seconds. He pulled back to shower her face in kisses, and ended it all with a chaste kiss on her lips. When Ella pulled back she grabbed the helmet from his hand and put it on to leave on his bike.

"Ugh, I love them." Bre was the first one to talk, making everyone nod in agreement as they watched them drive away.

"They're like one of those hot biker couples you see in movies." Arielle added and Breana hummed.

Nick nodded, "They are."

Alex rolled his eyes automatically because they actually were, and he hated it. But then his girlfriend's voice brought him back to where they were and after that, all he could recall was drinking the night away.

What he hadn't seen was that Bre caught his annoyed face and that only made the model want to fight the singer in the very spot. She was aware of what had happened, after she had managed to scoop it out of Ella many weeks after that eventful week in February, and she couldn't blame her for keeping her distance from the man. He had been an absolute asshole, so for him to be acting all bratty over Ella being happy and in love with someone else, like he didn't have his very own girlfriend sitting beside him, had Breana fuming.

The audacity this dickhead has, she thought.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It had been true, what Matt said. Ben told her she'd be spending the following fortnight at the studio recording the band like she'd done twice before. Only this time, she'd have to permanently try to get footage of their time in the studio—whether it was them fucking about or actually making music.

She'd let out a big sigh when Ben left her sitting at her desk, emails to respond looking at her face as she made peace with what was coming. It's just gonna be like hanging out with them and having fun, she told herself to ease her nerves. There was something about being alone with them again—with Alex—that was making her feel uneasy, slightly scared of how awkward it may be or how uncomfortable it could feel.

Just breathe.

That's what she told herself as her boots scrunched on the dirt, her steps firmly taking her up to the front door and she knocked. A lovely man with a long gray beard, called David, let her in, showing her the way and she thanked him with a smile.

She was rather surprised by the look of it all, the studio seemed so laid back and much like a little southern cabin in the middle of the desert. It was a stark contrast to the studios she had visited before but the place being so casual made her feel more comfortable.

In her left hand, she was carrying a cup holder in which she had five cups of coffee. She was hoping the gesture would serve as a good sign that all was good by her and she planned to keep it that way. She would try her hardest not to make it awkward.

She took a deep breath before she opened the door and was greeted by the band and their confused expressions which only lasted a few seconds. When they realized it was Ella they erupted in cheer as if they hadn't seen her just last week.

She giggled, "Good morning guys, you're very energetic today." She let her bag drop from her shoulder onto a settee that was set next to the door. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought you coffee."

Nick sighed and went over to hug her, "No, you're actually a lifesaver. Planning a wedding through the phone is a nightmare."

Ella cooed but a chuckle cut it short, "Awh Nick," and after they hugged, she lifted the cup holder to read which one was Nick's. "Here you go." She handed the bassist his coffee and then turned to the rest of the band.

"I got them as I remembered you liked them. Hope your orders haven't changed much since February."

Maybe mentioning February hadn't been the best idea because the room fell silent for a few seconds, but they had felt like an eternity.

Fuck.

Thankfully, Matt decided to be the menace he always was and made the tension lift up from her shoulders by chatting back, "Not the best PA, are you?"

She rolled her eyes, "I haven't been here for five minutes yet and I already wanna strangle you."

He winced, "Sorry Ellie, not really into getting choked myself but nice try."

Her sigh was loud and it made them laugh. She just decided to hand Jamie and Alex their coffees, to which they thanked her for, before grabbing hers and taking a gulp of her now warm beverage.

"Well," she started, setting her cup down on a coffee table in the middle of the room, "Get on with what you were doing, act like I'm not here."

Matt was quick to tease her, "Brilliant, just what I wanted to do."

She scoffed, not impressed by his antics. She was regretting asking superior powers for a brother when she was a kid because Matt was definitely like an older brother to her now and he was more annoying than she'd expected one to actually be.

"I will actually fight you Matthew, so shut up."

Matt cackled, "Would love to see you try." And before she could bite back, he started playing a beat on the drums that drowned everyone else's voice.

She kept to doing her own thing, turning the camera on and recording them. It was interesting seeing it unfold before her eyes. The way Matt kept coming up with different drum patterns to which Nick jumped in with his bass.

There was a moment in which Nick came up with the start of quite a catchy bass line and Jamie was quick to tell him to keep going whilst he grabbed a guitar to add to it. Soon enough it felt like the instruments were playing with the other as if chasing each other's chords and melting into one lovely melody that had them all nodding like that was it.

Matt started forming a beat around them and Alex stood up to grab his guitar and tried with different chord combinations to jump into it. Alex kept writing down the bass tabs and the guitar chords they were using in a journal he had, which seemed to have songs he'd written as well because he was quick to flip through the pages and sing a few lines to see how they would fit in the song.

Ella could see him scribbling around the pages as he kept singing whatever came to mind and building up the song.

When the zeros line up on the 24-hour clock

When you know who's calling even though the number is blocked

When you walked around your house wearing my sky blue Lacoste

And your knee socks

They stopped for a few minutes, Alex still sitting in his chair bopping his head to what they had just created, still playing in his head. She kept the camera on him and his concentrated face, the way he would quickly write around the pages on his journal had her intrigued.

This was a moment that she knew she'd feel glad she caught on tape in a few years, just because she had a feeling that whatever they were starting in the studio was going to be bigger than they'd ever anticipate.

The band had grown somewhat infatuated by the origins of the song, stuck on different ways they could take the main melody. They had settled already that it sounded like a perfect chorus so they'd build the song around that.

When James Ford got to the studio, it was like he had stepped into a vortex since he got sucked into the process so quickly that he had barely been able to properly say hello to Ella.

After an hour and a half of non-stop brainstorming that Ella had been hearing as background noise while she read through some emails and scheduled calls with clients, they decided to take a break. Everyone left, or that's what she thought as she typed away, until she was startled by a sneeze.

"Jesus, fuck!" She lowered her macbook screen, her eyes wide from the scare. "Oh– Bless you, Alex."

He smiled at her, a shy one that seemed a little tense. "Thanks Ella."

Alex watched her as she nodded with a shy smile on her face as well, lifting her screen back up to continue working. He wasn't doing much more than sorting through his journal and making mental notes of which of the songs he'd written he wanted to try and bring alive in this record, but he was distracted now.

He was very aware of her presence and she was too. She could feel his gaze burning on her but she was too nervous to even look up, she knew she didn't know what to say or how to act so she'd rather avoid it.

But the tension grew thicker and he hated it, the only solution he could find for it was to try to make small talk.

"So... How was your week, Ellie?" The singer asked slowly, as if treading an unknown path.

Her fingers froze hovering over the keyboard, "It was good, erm, a little busy but good."

He felt the way she was starting quiet and close away and maybe staying quiet would've been better but the words just came out of his mouth to try and make the old days come back, when they could talk about everything and anything for hours.

"Bre told us she was doing a shoot with you on Wednesday, hope that went well."

She gave him a genuine smile then, because the shoot had actually been lovely and it had gone better than she had planned it. "It was perfect, the sun worked amazingly with us. I have to get them printed soon though, so I can send the scans to Bre and she can add them to her portfolio."

"Was it on film?" Alex asked before he could process, he just wanted to keep the conversation flowing but what a stupid question that was because he knew she only ever shot on film.

She let out a giggle to hide her disbelief. Had he really forgotten she only shot on film? "Yes, I only shoot on film, remember?" It came out sassy and she hadn't meant it but she couldn't take it back now.

He laughed nervously, "Yeah, I know. Sorry, very stupid question."

Ella only smiled reassuringly, "It's okay."

The beats of silence were almost as loud as their heartbeats. Alex felt his pumping heart sounding in his ears and Ella did too, both hoping the other couldn't hear it too.

He started fiddling with his pen, "Was it themed?"

She shook her head, "Not really, we just played with how well the sun was positioned and did some shadow photography."

Alex hummed, not really knowing what to say next. Ella bit her lip, seeing through the corner of her eye how he looked to be fighting within himself. She felt bad for not trying to make things better.

"Has the past week been too hectic?" Her question sounded shy, both of them were acting so sheepish and whereas Ella's behavior had always been that way, it was weird seeing Alex anything other than confident.

He hesitated before responding, "Not really? I mean we had to go 'round quite a lot but it's the typical occurrence when we come to the States. The second week and on is much easier."

"Well, thankfully that's over and done with. I suppose you're relieved to be in the studio, finally." She decided to just close her laptop and give him her full attention.

Her actions made him breathe in relief as it felt like she wasn't trying to hide behind the screen anymore.

"Yes, to be fair. Feel like it's been too long since we've made something new, properly. When we recorded 'R U Mine?' it went by so quickly 'cause it took us so little to get it done—so, erm, yes. We were itching to be back recording."

She smiled sweetly at him then, "You guys look very in your element here, I was keeping it cool for the sake of the process but I was blown away by how easily you just– well, the way you can just do all that."

Alex laughed softly. She's so cute, was all he thought and it only made his smile grow. "Thanks Ellie, it's a thing that just happens because of how long we've been making music together. We bounce off each other now."

She had run out of things to say, her eyes focused on him but her brain struggling to find anything else to talk about.

Why is this so hard now? She hated it.

Luckily, she was saved by the bell—or rather by the rest of the band and James coming back from the kitchen, their loud chatter filling the hallways as they walked back to the room.

"Ellie, you have to see what I've found in the other room by the keyboards." Matt pointed at her and she was slightly afraid. One was never safe when it came to his spontaneous ideas.

She stared at him unsure of what to do, "Erm..."

The drummer started making his way back out of the room, waving at her to join him. "C'mon! Bring the camera." He added from the hallway.

She had to quickly grab the camcorder, her steps fast to catch up with him. The screen flashed a red 'rec' on the corner right as she walked through the threshold of a room she was seeing for the first time.

He walked in first and then stopped in the corner where most of the keyboards met and pointed towards what he'd found.

She deflated as she saw a little vintage coin machine that read 'Check your sex appeal'. On the bottom it instructed one to put one's finger on the sensor, deposit a quarter and then they'd give the score. With an eye roll she turned to Matt, "I thought you were gonna show me a spider or something." She had seen multiple lying around the place, unbothered.

"If it was a spider, I would've caught it and thrown it over your head." Matt replied with a cynical smile on his face.

Ella scoffed, "Sometimes I think you hate me."

He chuckled, opening his arms and approaching the girl to hug her. "You know I love you, Ellie."

"Yeah, sure, sure." He was holding her tight on purpose, to bother her some more. He really was like her older brother. The camera shook in her hands as she struggled in his hold.

He let go of her with a kiss on the cheek, "Have you got 25 cents?" He asked, seeing that it was needed to make the machine work.

"Yeah, in my purse." The drummer didn't even waste a second before he quickly went back to the main room to retrieve it. He was back in about ten seconds and she fished for her wallet when he opened her purse for her. "Does it even work?" she asked, seeing as the machine looked old—the red light on the 'sensor' was very dim, it was hard to read the 00 on the corner.

He shrugged, holding up a quarter in his fingers. "Let's try."

"Yeah, we need everyone to be here though. This cannot go without witnesses." She was recording it all but she wanted everyone to be there just so they could all have a laugh.

"Oh yes, go ahead. I want everyone to see how you lose."

"We shall see about that Matthew." She walked back to where the rest of the group was and called them over.

When Matt saw everyone enter the room behind Ella, he smirked. "Yous ready?"

They all nodded, Jamie rolled his eyes at his friend's excitement over such a dumb thing but he wasn't expecting any less from the idiot that Matt Helders was.

For some reason, he paused before slotting the coin in. "No, actually..." he offered the coin to Ella, "Ellie please do us the honor."

The PA sighed, wanting to do anything but go first in the stupid thing but she wanted to get it over with sooner rather than later. She grabbed the quarter from him and he took the camera from her, making sure to catch what she was going to do.

She pressed her pointer finger on the supposed sensor, and slid the coin in. "If this thing doesn't work, I'm gonna laugh in your face, Helders."

It took a few seconds for the red light to glow, the drummer smirking at Ella as if to rub it in her face that it actually worked. Everyone was watching them amused, the bickering was quite entertaining to them all and they were happy to be around Ella again.

Another few seconds passed before the machine beeped, startling the girl. "Jesus!" She dropped her hand and when she saw the 62, she shrugged not even caring to see what that meant on the list below the sensor.

Matt cackled, getting another quarter from her wallet and giving her the camera back to walk up to the machine as well. "Okay Ellie, are you ready to lose?"

"Get on with it Matt." She made sure to capture him perfectly even though she wasn't sure they'd use that footage on the documentary.

Repeating the process, Matt waited for the beep to reveal his score and when he got 134, he cheered. His arms up in the air like he had just won the championship to something.

He walked over to Ella teasing her about her brutal loss when Jamie wandered over to the coin machine and burst out laughing.

Everyone turned as the guitarist laughed and Nick went over curious to see what was so funny. When he read the list below the sensor, he joined Jamie in laughter.

"Helders, mate, I'm not sure you won at all there." Nick managed between chuckles.

Ella quickly walked over to read the list, making sure the camera caught it too and she cackled. "134 you got, didn't you? Mr. Total couch potato."

That only made Nick laugh harder, Alex and James started chuckling at Matt's face. The drummer walked over to see the list and he scoffed. "What the fuck? That score system doesn't make fucking sense."

Total couch potato - over 130

Semi sexy couch potato - 115-129

Sexy couch potato - 100-114

Sexy but firm up your good body - 85-99

Great body and sexy - 70-84

Super body and sexy - 60-69

Fantastic body and sexy - below 60

"I got 62 by the way. Just in case you forgot." Ella made sure to rub it in and Helders waved his hand dismissing her.

He shook his head in disbelief, and went over to her wallet to get another quarter. "We're doing this again."

"But–" She went to argue but was cut by Matt grabbing her right hand and pressing her pointer finger on the sensor and dropping the coin in. "For fucks sake, Matt." She cursed, moving the camera to face Matt's annoyed facial expression and when the machine beeped, showing her a glorious 60, she burst out laughing.

"Now's my turn." He pressed his finger on the sensor and inserted the coin.

Everyone quieted down as they waited for the beep and when it rang in their ears, showing a 129, Jamie read "A slight glow up, semi sexy couch potato." making everyone erupt in laughter again.

"Okay, whatever." Matt said loudly and defeated in between everyone else's noise, "It's broken, obviously."

Ella sighed, after her fit of laughter, focusing the camera back on the drummer. "Told you Bre was doing charity work with you." Nick snorted at that, nodding his head just to add to the fire.

Matt gasped, throwing his hand over his heart, faking being wounded by her very words. "Bitch." He said as if he had just been betrayed.

She chuckled as he left the room, still shaking his head, "Oh I'm so glad I caught all that on camera."

Nick threw his arm over her shoulders and kissed her temple, "You are brilliant, Ellie."

She smiled so bright, her eyes closed, and leaned her head on the bassist's shoulder in contentment.

When she opened her eyes, she was instantly met by Alex grinning at her and she smiled back at him.

The two weeks she'd have to stay there would be long but she hoped they'd get easier. She could only hope for that.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

All of her hopes had drowned a week later. She thought she had made progress in that first week since when she left that Sunday, it felt like the tension was wearing thin. They could now joke around like everyone else and it wasn't met with brief silences that felt like cuts to their throats.

That was until the Monday of the second week arrived, and she was dropped off at the studio by Julian. As they got closer to the place, she was praying that whoever was standing outside wasn't Alex but the universe loved laughing at her face so Alex was exactly who was outside, smoking calmly with his eyes firmly on Ella.

She sighed under her helmet before she took it off and got off the bike. She gave Alex a tight lip smile, "Good morning, Alex." She could feel the awkwardness rising once again.

"Good morning, Ellie." He replied, grateful for how the cigarette was helping him relax even in the slightest.

Julian took his helmet off then, shaking his head to fix his hair, with a bright smile. "Hey Alex, good morning."

Alex lifted his hand up to greet him, "Morning, man."

Ella sighed and turned to her boyfriend, fixing his hair before she said bye. "You'll pick me up later yeah?" Her hand was cupping his jaw and Alex hated seeing the look of adoration in her eyes.

"'Course." Julian said with a smile, his right hand coming up to grab Ella's hand that was on his face and kissed the palm of it. "Love you, have fun okay?"

Ella smiled even harder and nodded as she leaned down to peck his lips. "Love you, see you later."

Ella turned to start walking towards the studio when she heard Julian calling out to Alex, "Turner! Take care of my girl, yeah?" His question was up in the air as he put his helmet back on.

She blushed as she turned back around to laugh at her boyfriend. Alex let out the smoke from his lungs and nodded, "Always."

Ella felt like someone had gut punched her then, Why does this have to happen to me?

Julian nodded and revved the engine, blowing Ella a kiss before driving away—leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

They both watched as the bike got smaller in the horizon and once it disappeared from their sight, she cleared her throat. "You going in yet?"

He nodded, "I'm almost done." taking one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it to the ground.

As they walked up to the place, he couldn't hold his tongue back, "So is he gonna drop you off everyday now?"

There was a subtle tone in his voice that didn't settle well with her, "Just today." She answered quickly with a forced smile on her face, letting her feet take her faster up the steps and towards the door. She didn't wanna overthink about the way he'd ask but it was already planning to play on loop in her mind.

Maybe she was making it worse in her mind but the awkwardness was palpable at the moment, and she just couldn't brush it off and ignore it.

When she opened the door everyone was there at the kitchen by the entrance making breakfast, when they saw her they greeted her sweetly. She was so grateful for them all being there already, just so she didn't have to spend time alone with Alex after that.

Surprisingly though, after they had all had breakfast together, the day rolled off smoothly and she'd only interacted directly with Alex a handful of times. The band had gone fully back into finishing a song they'd named 'You're So Dark' and slowly rolled into the making of another one that they hadn't titled yet but the chorus kept on with the phrase 'i want it all' so she'd refer to it as such.

She ignored the way Alex sang the words 'space age country girl, stone cold miracle' and the not-so-subtle looks he took at her every time it rolled off his tongue.

By three in the afternoon, she'd excused herself to take a skype call with Ben, Aaron and a new client. She'd gone to the room furthest away from them and even though she knew the walls could keep her voice from getting to them and ruining any recording, she'd still tried to be as quiet as she could.

That's why she was surprised to see everyone gone when she left the call. She wandered around the place, really taking time to admire every corner of the one-of-a-kind recording studio. She could see Queens of the Stone Age memorabilia, a portrait of PJ Harvey smoking a cigarette perched on one of the sofas in the studio hanging on the wall.

The array of different kinds and brands of guitars drew her in like a magnet. She had no idea how to play one but they all looked stunning and she wished at that moment she knew how to play at least one simple song.

"I never asked you if you knew how to play." The sudden appearance of Alex's voice scared her. She jumped in her place, turning slowly with a hand over her heart.

"Alex, for fucks sake." She cursed through her teeth.

He smiled softly, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

She sighed, "Where is everyone? I thought you'd all left."

He shrugged, "They said something about getting food. Left before I could put down the guitar."

"Oh that was probably Matt's idea." Leaving Alex behind had to be his brilliant idea, she rolled her eyes at how he'd completely missed how that would turn out for her.

Alex nodded, "Most likely, yeah."

They stood there quietly—Alex resting against the door frame, Ella's fingers dancing over the guitars' necks.

"Did they leave long ago?" She crossed her fingers mentally, hoping they'd be back soon.

He only shook his head and with that she deflated, "They left about fifteen minutes ago."

Ella let out a humorless chuckle, "Great."

It looked like he was trying not to open his mouth, and she almost just told him to spill it all but she truly didn't want it to happen. Whatever would come out of his mouth would only make the situation ten times worse and she was still feeling unsettled by the question he'd made before coming into the studio in the morning.

She decided to sit in one of the chairs, slumping forward as she cradled her head in her hands. A headache already bubbling in the back of her skull, she rubbed her temples with her fingers. In the background she heard as Alex took a seat on the big settee by the door, one that faced her directly.

Alex cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat, he was getting the courage to ask everything he wanted to know. "So how has it been then?" His question was so vague she hummed in confusion—she had been with them for a week straight, what could he mean by that?

And then he shuffled in his seat and tried again, "With him, I mean. How's everything been with, erm, Julian?" He said his name with a struggle, like it hurt his throat to let it out.

"Very good, thanks. We're doing great." She fake coughed, straightening in her seat uncomfortably.

Alex nodded his head continuously, "He seems like a good guy... Interesting lad."

"He is. Wonderful, very interesting too, yeah." Her smile was so forced and it pained him to see.

"He really likes traveling doesn't he?" At that point he didn't even know what he was doing, he was just talking out of his ass.

"Oh yes, a lot. He has the best stories from traveling around for work."

He hummed, "Do you ever travel together?"

Ella chewed on her bottom lip before answering. "Sometimes. We tend to stay in California for work but there's times we travel together whenever I have to go somewhere with Focus Creeps and he's free or we're both able to go on a little weekend holiday."

"Really? Where have you been?" Curiosity killed the cat, he reminded himself. He was very aware of that but his mouth was going faster than his brain.

"We went to Mexico for our first month. We've been to Alaska and New York, but most of the time we take trips around the west coast." She recounted her drives with Julian to the different states along the coast they called home. "He's actually gone to Tennessee with me quite a few times." She added quickly.

"Oh yeah, I sa—. I, erm, suppose that was nice." His tongue tangled when he realized he was about to expose himself, but she hummed.

She knew he had seen, his secret instagram account handle was very not subtle and she'd gotten surprised when he followed her right after that call about the Olympics. "It was. Lovely to see him in my hometown and with my family, really. He fits right in."

He hated how she said that, like it was something that was written in stone. "Right, yes."

She didn't know why, but her brain just wanted her to scream a little detail that knew would ruin things even more. It was probably the thought of it hurting him, the way it had all hurt her back at the start of the year and she felt weirdly in need of some revenge. "We actually go to Belmont Park quite often."

A surprised "Oh." escaped his lips. That fact stung him like alcohol on a fresh cut wound, and that's when Alex noticed the situation hadn't hurt him as much before as it had in that very moment. The fact that she went to a place that so vividly was him and her with someone else felt like the biggest type of betrayal.

"Do you?" The question sat bitterly on his tongue.

It had been a mistake even mentioning it. A double edged knife as it all came like an avalanche over her. "Yeah, it's a lovely place during summertime." It reminded her why she never did revenge, it would always hurt her right back like she was doomed with automatic karma.

He sighed, sorting through his memories. "I remember that place quite fondly."

Ella panicked then, the need to remind him where he stood was strong inside her just to keep him from saying anything stupid that might make her spiral. "How's Arielle?" She spat the question like the words were burning her tongue.

He froze in his place for a second, his brain stopping the reel of Ella and his time in the coastal amusement park to replace it for the American model who was his girlfriend. "She's alright." He shrugged, not really caring to think much for detail. "Busy with casting calls and modeling gigs, but good."

She hated how the first thing her brain did was compare herself to Arielle, making her chuckle dryly. "Good thing she's a model right? Can travel around the world with you." She wanted to slap herself then for exposing her very biggest insecurity when it had come to her and Alex back then.

But Alex was too distracted by the new batch of questions flooding his mind to even notice what she'd just said. "I guess, yes."

"Of course it is, you're always in the presence of your muse." She was trying her hardest to push him to plainly tell her how much he adored Arielle just so she'd kill the shadow of hurt creeping back onto her but he didn't.

His gaze stayed fixated on her for a long few seconds, her breath caught in her throat seeing him zoned out with his eyes firmly on her. Ella cleared her throat and that's when he came back to reality. "Sure, my muse, yes. Lucky to have her always by my side." His reply was so meek it made her want to scream at him.

What do you want from me? She wanted to ask, over and over, until he gave her a fully honest answer.

"I'm just curious..." He started again, after half a minute of silence with eyes fixed on the floor. "Isn't it weird?"

Again he went with the vague inquiries, she frowned looking at him. "What?"

Alex looked up, feeling her burning gaze on him. "I dunno, just how fast you started it all with Julian." His words were weak, almost like he knew it was a mistake to have even said that out loud.

She was ready to start getting defensive but she'd give him another opportunity to explain himself before she could explode if it was needed. "What do you mean?"

He sighed, trying to word his thoughts in the best way possible, "Well, you know, I remember you telling me about how falling for someone you'd just met wasn't your thing."

"I said and did lots of things then, didn't I?" Her words came out heated, Ella was growing tired and she kept wondering what the hell was he trying to get from her.

"Do you regret them?" He was quick to ask, like that sentence had been a direct attack towards him. The question was looking for a deeper answer.

"Maybe." She tried to sound determined but it came out more like a question. She truly didn't regret anything that had happened or that she'd said because it all ended in the growth of herself as a person but, fuck, she just wanted him to hurt so he could drop the subject and whatever he was trying to achieve.

He only hummed in acknowledgment, making her feel like she had to further prove herself.

"He changed everything I had ever thought in a matter of weeks, I just know I love him and he loves me so that's more than enough for me. Time doesn't mean much to me anymore."

"Right." Alex nodded, his gaze staying on her for just a fleeting moment before it dropped down to the floor.

Ella continued then, finding more things she wanted to say, "No matter how long you've known people for, they always turn out to be someone you don't expect so I wasn't gonna lose an amazing person because of my fear of getting hurt." She was trying to find his eyes, just so he knew she meant every word that left her lips but he wasn't brave enough to make eye contact as she said all that. He felt like he was getting poked in his chest with a sharp and pointy knife. "I mean, you said it, didn't you?"

That's what got him to look up instantly, "What?" the singer asked, confused.

Alex's voice as they walked around Las Vegas came back to her very clearly, like the moment was happening at that very second: 'That's true, but don't close yourself off to the chances. Someday you'll meet that one person who'll change your mind about that and they will sweep you off your feet. Often heartbreak is necessary along the way, it shows you what's the right way you deserve to be loved.'

"That someday I'd meet a person who'd change my mind about all that time bullshit I used to swear by, and how they'd sweep me off my feet. That's exactly what he did." Ella recited his words back to him.

And the very moment came back to him like an ice cold water bucket being poured over his head. His words had come back to bite him on the ass. "I guess I did." His voice sounded defeated. "Yeah, erm, that's good. Good." Alex had no idea what he had tried to achieve with all that but, fucking hell, he felt like he had ruined everything.

They stayed quiet for what felt like a century but it had only been a minute. Their breathing sounded too loud and the beating of their heavy hearts was very present in their ears.

When her phone rang, she couldn't help but sigh in relief but her shoulders slumped when the name 'Jules <3' shone bright on her screen.

"Guess we summoned him." The PA joked, trying to lighten up the mood but he gave her the most humorless laugh that made her internally cringe. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? She asked herself, as if the whole situation had been her fault and not Alex's.

She stood up and pointed at the door to tell him she'd pick up and talk by the kitchen, he nodded dully and watched her go in the reflection of the window. He had fucked it all up and he knew it.

He could hear her in the distance and he hated the isolated zone the studio was in because the lack of city bustle meant he could hear everything she said.

"Hi babe!" Her greeting was chipper, she sounded relieved. "Not yet, the guys have gone out to get some lunch and then I guess they'll stay a few more hours until they're done." She paused for a few seconds but he couldn't make out whatever her boyfriend was saying on the other side of the line. "Yeah, they're great. You'd love to see them recording, it truly is magical." Alex smiled, as he could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"Oh?" Ella sounded surprised and he wondered what Julian could've told her. "Jules, are you fucking kidding?" She sounded breathless and elated. "No baby, not nice to hear when we're more than an hour away." Alex hated hearing her calling someone else that pet name. "Well I cannot wait to be home then." There was a small pause before she let out a sweet little giggle that melted Alex's insides. "What did I do to deserve you huh?" Alex rolled his eyes thinking about how Julian didn't deserve her but he couldn't say much, because he didn't deserve Ella either.

"Something new to try?" Her voice had turned suggestive then, and he hated that his brain started going through the endless possibilities of what that could mean. "Fuck, Julian." That had come out like a choked up whimper and Alex had had to shut his eyes close hard to focus on his thoughts not going there but then she said, "Yes, you fucking tease." almost out of breath and just that made the singer's thoughts start going in a forbidden direction. "Well if you had a car maybe we could move it forward but unfortunately you don't, so..." That made him freeze though, as he instantly imagined them two together in the back of a car and it was a visual he absolutely loathed.

"I fucking love you, you know that?" Her words were determined and they hit him like a truck. "Okay babe, cannot fucking wait to be home already." Another giggle that made Alex want to die echoed through the place and just as he was about to start plugging his ears to not listen anymore, she ended the call with a "See you soon then, love you."

He had to hurriedly grab his journal, scribbling around a new page when he heard her steps coming back in his direction.

When Ella entered the room again, she gave him a side smile. She went straight to her purse and grabbed her lighter and cigarettes, "I'm gonna go for a smoke, be right back."

"Alright." Alex nodded as he kept his eyes frozen on the white page that was slowly filling up with words that seemed to be just flooding out of him. The sound of her boots mixing with the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hallway replaying in his mind as the ink ruined the paper.

I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake

Snap out of it

Under a spell you're hypnotized

Darling, how could you be so blind?

If that watch don't continue to swing

Or the fat lady fancies having a sing

I'll be here, waiting ever so patiently for you to

Snap out of it

I've heard that you fell in love

Or near enough

It sounds like settling down or giving up

But it don't sound much like you

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After that extremely awkward Monday, when she'd felt Alex's gaze burning on her back as she left the place in the back of Julian's bike, the week had gone by extremely slowly. She loved the band but she felt like she was suffocating under the heavy tension between her and Alex.

So when it reached Friday, the last day that she'd be recording them for the rest of the year, she felt like she could breathe more easily.

Matt had been an absolute nightmare though, ringing her at six in the morning so that she could be at the studio by half past seven.

"Matt, I will castrate you when I see you later," was the first thing she said when she picked up.

The man on the other line snorted, "Oh I'm so afraid." The heavy sarcasm in his voice only made her roll her eyes. "You have to be here early today, sweetheart. Last day and all." He sounded like he was hiding something but she was too tired to care.

She groaned, "Sure, I'll leave in a few. Bye." She didn't even give him time to reply because she instantly hung up the phone and sighed.

Her hair was damp when she'd gotten on her bike forty minutes after she'd ended the call, but it was dry from the wind by the time she got to the studio. She took off her helmet and brushed her hair with her fingers to then ruffle it. She checked on one of the mirrors of her bike and she shrugged, her lipstick still perfectly on and her hair just tamed enough.

She walked through the doors and made her way to the room they were always at. When she got there she didn't even look up before she dropped her bag and helmet on a chair. "Last day I have to see you idiots all day, thank fuck!" She joked but when she was met with an unusual silence, she turned around confused and that's when her jaw dropped.

Josh Homme was sitting right there in the middle of the room and everyone else was trying to hold in their laughs. Her cheeks tinted bright red, like her lipstick, and she wanted to disappear.

But the musician chuckled, making her feel slightly better. "Lucky." Josh started, continuing the joke, "This is my first day, have another week to go with them." He stood up with his hand out to greet Ella, "Lovely to meet you..."

She cleared her throat, blinking fast to try and come back down to reality but she was shocked. "Ella." She barely managed to say and Josh nodded, shaking her hand.

"Lovely to meet you Ella." He said again and her eyes went to all of the lads in search of answers.

When none of them gave her anything other than amused smiles, she looked back to the legendary musician in front of her and smiled brightly. "Very lovely to meet you, Mr. Homme."

The man waved her off, dropping her hand, "Oh please hun, just call me Josh. We're all friends here, no formalities."

She giggled, "Right, yes."

Ella tried to remain cool as she fell back into her usual routine, taking the camera out and capturing everything she could without disturbing their process. Matt sat next to her in the big settee twenty minutes later, watching Alex and Josh talking about 'Knee Socks' which was apparently the song Josh was gonna be in, and he elbowed her to tease her.

"Big fan of Queens of the Stone Age then?" The drummer whispered.

She turned to face him with an expression that screamed it was obvious, "Who isn't?"

Matt nodded, "Well, I did tell you to come early."

She scoffed, "Yes but you didn't mention Josh fucking Homme coming here today, idiot!" She whispered aggressively and she was grateful for Alex having started to play the guitar so the chords were louder than her voice.

"Details, details." Matt replied like it was nothing and she rolled her eyes.

"I cannot believe I'm actually gonna miss seeing y'all every day again." She admitted, fake defeated to keep up her act.

He clicked his tongue, "Of course you will, you love us."

"As I always say, unfortunately." She added in the same way, with a tight lip smile.

He opened his mouth to reply but Alex called him over and he could only get up quickly on his feet to see what they were gonna do then.

She had grown mesmerized by the creative process they had as they saw them work with Josh. James got there an hour later and it felt surreal, she truly felt like she was seeing actual magic happen and it hit her when she heard the brand new bridge for the song. It sounded heavenly and bold at the same time.

She knew when the album would come out, she'd have a different perspective on it for the sole reason that she was witnessing all those turning points in the making of it. And she was sure that just from the fact that she was experiencing all of it first hand, it would become her favorite album of theirs.

When they had all gotten hungry at around ten in the morning, Ella had ordered something for everyone and when the food had arrived, they all gathered around the wooden dinner table in the kitchen to chat shit and eat before resuming their work.

Josh was so easy to be around and Ella loved that one of the people she'd always admired as a musician was also a lovely person in real life. He had thanked her for the food and given her a side hug before they all cleaned up and went back to the recording room.

Ella made sure to record as much as she could but when the battery died and she had to wait for it to charge, she put her earphones on and started listening to some music.

Matt and Jamie sat chatting in a corner of a room while Alex, Nick and Josh hovered over Alex's journal to work through some lyrics. Ten minutes passed as she sorted through her emails when Alex sat beside her and she barely noticed.

He poked at her arm to not scare her again and she turned slowly to him, "Hey," she greeted timidly.

"Was Josh Homme a nice surprise?" He asked like her reaction hadn't been enough of an answer.

Her eyebrows rose on her face as she nodded enthusiastically, "Of course, yes. I still can't believe he's just–" she paused to find the perfect word but she failed so she just subtly pointed at him and finished by saying, "There."

Alex chuckled, "What are you listening to?" He had seen her bopping her head as she typed and he was curious to know.

"Black Sabbath." She showed him her phone screen, "War Pigs. Stunning guitar riff." She added, like it was one of those texts she used to send him of the songs she was obsessing over whoever week or day and which detail was her favorite of it.

He'd heard it before, of course, so he nodded but she took off one of her earphones so he could put it in and listen with her. Once the bud was in his ear, she played the song back from the beginning and he found himself trying to think of the chords in his head.

A song like it was one that he'd love to have on this album, it was the vibe he was going for when he pictured what the record would sound like in his head.

When the song finished he took off the earbud and handed it back to her. "Brilliant guitar riff. I wanna try and play it."

She thought he meant to play it maybe later but no, he got up immediately and grabbed his Gretsch duo jet, placed a pick between his teeth as he pulled the guitar strap over his shoulders and started playing with the chords until he started getting closer and closer to it.

Josh was quick to recognize the song, "War Pigs, classic."

Alex nodded as he stopped and then started it back up again. "I wanna use it in this record, I think."

"Domino won't hate you for having to get the licenses for it?" Asked the American singer, amused.

"Nah, I'll get it somehow even if they don't want to." Alex replied very confidently.

"Atta boy." Celebrated Josh, "You'll have to give it an Arctic Monkeys twist though, make it fresh." He advised, not only so that the song would be good but for the sake of the credits of the song he was trying to make.

Alex called to his bandmates then, "Oi, Nick, Jump in this one with me. Jamie, let's play it together first and then we can start changing the chords each at a time."

A few hours later, they had a wonderful take on the War Pigs guitar riff and the band seemed to be in love with it. They recorded it and labeled it the first demo, Ella had managed to catch that recording process and she was beaming as she saw it happen.

She'd felt like she had contributed there, it made her heart swell in a strange new way. She was about to scold herself for feeling so proud about it when it was so insignificant, when Alex went up to her and gave her a brief hug.

"Thanks for that Ellie. Good thing we have you here at the studio with us, isn't it?" His hand dropped after squeezing her right arm, her left side pressed against him.

She smiled brightly then, shrugging it off because she had only played him a song he already knew, it wasn't a massive contribution. "It literally was nothing Alex."

Alex clicked his tongue, "Yeah, don't really think so." disagreeing with her, making her smile bigger.

Right there and then, it felt like it was all falling back into place at least for a few seconds and they could both take a breath of fresh air.

"Would it help you feel better if I just said you're welcome?" Her smile could be heard in her voice and it made him unbelievably happy.

He nodded, "Definitely."

"You're welcome, Al." She replied easily and he beamed at her, it was the first time she called him Al in a long while, it made his stomach flip.

"Right," The singer started, still grinning. "It's your last day with us here until next year so just leave the camera, enjoy it."

Her brows furrowed, "But the documentary—"

He waved it off, "It would be a maximum of forty five minutes, Ellie and we still have January through June to record so don't worry. There'd be plenty of footage in the future."

She hummed, "Okay boss, whatever you say." She joked and he chuckled.

The day ended far quicker than she expected it and soon enough she was saying goodbye to the band, James and Josh. They all watched her drive away on her bike as the sun set in the horizon, the ends of her long black hair waving in the air.

In the third and last week that the band had spent in the studio, which Ella hadn't been there to record, the 'War Pigs' inspired song had been born and fully developed.

It only made sense that if the song had seen its creation because of Ella, it had to be the one to home all those lines Alex had written about her.

Alex sang into the microphone as the red light on top of the booth indicated it was recording. His eyes closed as he pictured her and himself walking around LA, Las Vegas and San Diego—all the pictures and the conversations, the drinks and the fleeting touches shared.

Arabella's got some interstellar-gator skin boots

And a Helter Skelter 'round her little finger

And I ride it endlessly

She's got a Barbarella silver swimsuit

And when she needs to shelter from reality

She takes a dip in my daydreams

My days end best when the sunset gets itself behind

That little lady sitting on the passenger side

It's much less picturesque without her catching the light

The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes

As Arabella, oh

As Arabella

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

Arabella's got a '70s head

But she's a modern lover

It's an exploration, she's made of outer space

And her lips are like the galaxy's edge

And her kiss the colour of a constellation

Falling into place

My days end best when the sunset gets itself behind

That little lady sitting on the passenger side

It's much less picturesque without her catching the light

The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes

As Arabella, oh

As Arabella

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

That's magic, in a cheetah print coat

Just a slip, underneath it, I hope

Asking if, I can have one of those

Organic, cigarettes that she smokes

Wraps her lips, 'round a Mexican Coke

Makes you wish, that you were the bottle

Takes a sip of your soul, and it sounds like...

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The band's stay at the golden state had reached its end. The three weeks they had planned on staying were up but before it was time for them to leave Ella and Breana had planned a little farewell dinner. Breana would be staying in LA this time, so when she told Ella to help her organize it for the lads before they left, she just couldn't say no to her best friend.

It didn't take much organization, just a phone call to the restaurant to make a reservation and a text in the group chat to make sure the band knew where to be on Sunday the 9th at seven in the evening.

Ella was there ten minutes before the clock announced it was seven, she stood by the mural to the left side of the restaurant's door smoking a cigarette. She had just lit it, and absentmindedly took a drag out of it seeing as Julian took a few steps to stand in front of her and take the stick from her fingers.

The filter was stained with the red of her lipstick and it made her boyfriend groan, she laughed as she let the smoke out upwards, taking a peek at the moon. Julian left a trail of kisses up her throat all the way up to her chin, his lips hovered over hers but he left her breathless when he lifted the cigarette to take a drag of it and then place it back on her lips.

"Tease," she muttered with the burning stick between her lips.

The scruff of a car's brakes made them turn around, a yellow cab stopped a few feet right beside them. They were about to get back to what they were doing when one of the back doors opened and out came none other than Alex Turner.

He looked amazing under the dim street lights, the cream button up he was wearing contrasted perfectly with his black trousers and blazer. The small heels of his chelsea boots hit the pavement and composed the perfect background noise to his entrance.

Alex cleared his throat, hoping his frown wasn't as hard as it had been a minute earlier when he had seen from afar the show Ella and Julian were putting for everyone walking around the block.

Julian stepped aside to let Ella greet Alex first. "Hello Ella," he hugged her briefly but tight, she reciprocated one handed as she kept the hand she was holding her cigarette with away from him. Alex shook Julian's hand, firmly. "Nice to see you again, Julian."

Julian nodded, "Nice to see you too, Alex. How was your time in LA? Everything sweet, everything nice?"

Alex gave him a forced side smile, Ella turned to rest against the mural again and continued smoking—she tried to relax but she was internally panicking, begging to any high power that the rest of their friends showed up soon so the three wouldn't have to wait too long alone.

"Everything was great, already can't wait to be back to keep recording." From his voice she could tell he was distracted, and Ella kept her eyes closed but she felt him staring.

But why wouldn't he? She looked dashing dressed in all black. A little black slip dress on with high heeled stilettos, a leather jacket on and a small prada purse hanging off her shoulder. The dress had a slit, showing off her 'Divine Feminine' tattoo perfectly.

He was too caught up to even notice Julian had caught him staring.

"She's stunning, isn't she?" Her boyfriend had asked proudly, and Alex had gone cold.

He tried to play it cool though, nodding as he took his cigarettes out and picked one to light up. "She's always been."

If Julian had gotten jealous from that, he didn't show it as he nonchalantly then proceeded to walk towards Ella. He dove his hand into Ella's jacket pockets and fished a cigarette for himself, placing it between his teeth and staring at his girlfriend silently asking her to light him up.

She did, her movements graceful and experienced and Alex caught the small 'thank you' Julian gave her before he started smoking.

The American man had waved him over, "C'mere man, we're not gonna bite."

Alex let out a bland chuckle that made a puff of smoke leave his mouth. His steps were slow as he moved closer to them, and he wished Arielle could've canceled that late night shoot so she'd be there with him. He didn't want to be a third wheel, much less to Ella and her fucking boyfriend.

It had been a painful eight minutes he had to endure of small talk that ended with Ella narrating how it had been to spend a whole day with Josh Homme and Julian watching her talk mesmerized. Their fingers were interlocked and Alex had had to watch Julian play with Ella's fingers as he listened to her.

Just as Alex was contemplating fishing his pockets for a third smoke, ruckus broke out behind him and he recognized it instantly. He could breathe now that Breana and Matt had arrived, and when Alex fully turned, he saw Jamie and Nick exiting the cab as well.

Everyone greeted each other and once that was done, Ella walked ahead of the group into Craig's. She'd chosen the place not only because it was gorgeous and the food was delicious but because loads of famous people tended to go there so they truly wouldn't be bothered if anyone recognized them.

It wasn't long before they were seated and, to Ella's incredible fortune, she ended up seated in the middle of Alex and Julian.

Before they ordered any food, they were asked for their drinks to which they'd all agreed on a nice bottle of cabernet. Their waiter had uncorked the bottle effortlessly and served everyone a perfect amount to start with.

Chatter rolled easily as they drank more wine, their orders then taken and underway in the fancy kitchen of the place.

Their flight was taking off at noon, meaning they had to be at LAX at around nine in the morning. The band was promising to be the most sober ones just to make their next morning easy for themselves.

When their plates got to their table, they all dove in. The variety of dishes was astounding and it impressed them even more how regardless of how different each one was, they all were remarkably delicious.

Alex watched through the corner of his eye as Julian gathered a forkful of his salmon dish to feed Ella.

"Babe, you gotta try this." He'd said after a blissful hum he let out when he got the first bite of it. His hand a few inches under the fork to avoid spilling anything.

Ella was quick to open her mouth to accept the food and once it reached her tongue, she let her red lips wrap around the fork. Julian pulled back the piece of silverware as he stared attentively at her reaction and when her eyes closed in delight at the taste, he smiled bright.

She waited until she was finished with her bite to speak, "That's really fucking good."

Alex wanted to roll his eyes, how was it that even surrounded by other four people he still felt like a third wheel. His fork screeched as he gathered his rigatoni alla vodka.

Conversations continued as everyone slowly worked through their food, not really minding it going cold because they were all just basking in each other's presence.

"Helders, you're giving me my best friend back, finally. Thank you very much." Ella teased as she remembered that Breana was planning on staying in LA the whole time they'd be gone.

The drummer sighed, squeezing his girlfriend's hand under the table. "Yeah, not really my choice to be honest. She'd always be by my side if it was for me."

"Awh look at you, maybe you are romantic after all." The PA cooed, a little pout on her face at the sight of them.

Matt let out a small giggle, "Of course I am, idiot."

"Well it's hard to picture with the stories I hear." Ella trailed off, making Jamie and Nick look at her curiously.

Matt smirked, "Like what you're told?"

"Pretty vanilla to me, honestly." She played, making Matt laugh a little too loud.

"Okay, kinky bastard." The teasing made Ella sit straighter as she flushed, Julian smiled proudly next to her. Alex just wanted to disappear, he would beg to hear anything else but what she got up to with Julian in the bedroom.

To Alex's relief, she wasn't in the mood to share any stories. "Guess your hand is gonna have to do for the next few months." The faux pity in her voice was so heavy it had Matt glaring at her.

"It will, and those scans you're meant to send me." He made sure to remind her as she'd promised him and he had really liked those previews she'd shown him on her phone.

Nick sighed, exasperated at the turn the conversation had taken. He really didn't want to think about his mate wanking to pictures of his girlfriend while he was eating the best scallops he'd ever had. "Can yous fucking stop? I'm trying to eat."

Ella laughed, "So very sorry, Nick."

The bassist huffed in exaggerated annoyance, "You better be."

Once everyone finished their food, the waiter had been fast to pick the plates up and ask if they fancied anything else. Soon enough, a new bottle of wine was on its way and, just as fast as it had arrived, they were finishing it.

They each had been drinking more red then than at the start of the night so the bottle didn't last more than twenty minutes.

Ella hummed then, seeing as most of their glasses were empty—Alex being the only one to have a sip of it left. "Anyone fancy a bottle of champers?" Her question was thrown in the air and they all slowly agreed.

She turned to Julian, mumbling something that only Alex got to properly hear. "Don't have any rings on me though..."

Alex's right hand reached over for his wine glass and just as his fingers rounded it, he heard Julian say something to him.

"That ring's sick man, mind if I have a look at it?"

Alex was confused but he nodded nonetheless, putting his glass back on the table to take the ring off and hand it to the videographer. He only took a look at it for a quick two seconds before he put it on his own pinky finger.

"Looks great doesn't it?" He lifted his hand up to show Ella and she nodded. Alex frowned, what the fuck is he doing putting my ring on?

Julian made him snap back to reality when he took it off and mumbled a quick, "Would look better on you though." And before Alex could even have time to process that, he got up and walked around his chair to kneel in front of Ella.

The singer's eyes almost popped out of his head and Breana's gasp was loud enough to grab the attention of not only their whole table but the ones around them. Suddenly, the restaurant started to quiet down as everyone's attention turned to the dirty blonde down on one knee in front of his girlfriend.

"Ella, honey, you are by far the sweetest most wonderful thing that has happened to me." His voice was so sweet as it reached her ears and she knew it was only the start but she was already swooning. "I wish time had been kinder to me and let me meet you before but the fact that you even are in my life now is enough to feel like life didn't cheat me. You take my breath away with everything you do, everything you say and everything you are. My heart bursts at its seams just by thinking of you and every time I get to see you." Her heart definitely felt like it was failing her from how much she loved the man kneeling in front of her.

"You are my perfect accomplice, I cannot imagine doing life with anybody else. Every night, I wish upon every star I'm able to see in this polluted city that I'll be able to be yours forever. And I can only hope I'm lucky enough to have you feel the same, to know that you want me to be yours until the end of times." A small sob escaped her, tears pooling in her eyes threatening to spill at any moment. "And I think about asking you to marry me every night when we go to sleep and I see that sweet little pout next to me, the way you cling to me is a feeling I don't ever wanna lose. I don't ever wanna lose you." The tears were falling, wetting her lips which were stuck in a beaming smile. "I want to witness you and what you become, worship every single bit of you and all you do. In this life and the next, if you'll have me. Ella, my love, would you marry me?" He finally asked and the giggles escaped her as more tears ran down her cheeks.

"Yes!" She exclaimed breathlessly, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." She chanted as she cupped his face. Julian kissed the inside of her palm and then grabbed her left hand to put the ring on. It fit perfectly. Once it was on, they sealed the moment with a long kiss, Ella holding Julian's face with both her hands like she was afraid he'd disappear if she didn't have her hold on him.

Alex was so fucking confused, he felt like he was gonna puke everything he'd had that night. He felt himself sweating cold, and he was sure he was as pale as a white sheet of paper. Everyone around them was hollering, Nick and Jamie wolf whistling as Breana cried while she clapped and Matt had the brightest smile.

Their table neighbors cooed and clapped as Julian rose to sit back down, his lips red from Ella's lipstick. Alex looked around in shock but the only one who caught him was Matt, his smile faltered slightly at the sight of his friend but then he chuckled. The whole thing had fucked him over.

Soon their waiter came back, but with a bucket filled with ice homing a massive bottle of Champagne. Champagne flutes being carried by a waitress right behind him.

The young man smiled at the couple who'd just stolen the show and set the bottle in the middle of the table. "We're beyond happy to have witnessed this new step in your beautiful relationship so we wanted to give you this to celebrate." The lady behind him set the seven tall glasses on the table before they both proceeded to serve the beverage. "The chef wanted to congratulate you as well with some lovely dessert which I'll be bringing out in just a moment."

Ella cooed, her hand on her chest. "Thank you so much! You are all so sweet."

The pair nodded with a smile before they left and once everyone in the restaurant settled back again, Ella and Julian shared another quick kiss. She wiped on his bottom lip when she broke the kiss, leaning back slightly with the brightest smile on her face.

Alex was still malfunctioning so Matt took it upon himself to get an explanation out of the couple.

"So, what was that?" His question seemed amused, not really believing in the veracity of the proposal as they had literally used Alex's 'death ramps' ring. That detail only made him want to laugh harder.

Ella shrugged, whispering her answer. "Well y'all did say you wanted some champagne so mission accomplished."

Jamie cackled, "You cheeky bitch."

"That's me." Ella replied, winking at him. But then she sighed, absolutely elated. "We have done this many times before, must've gotten engaged at least half a dozen times in loads of places around the country but, oh my god, he went off with this one." She turned to Julian and scrunched up her nose to him. "I fucking adore you."

Alex's confusion then turned into anger. What the fuck? All he could think was how easy it was for them to make up such a deceiving situation but the thing that had him seething was the fact that they had just decided to do that with his ring. What the fuck are they on about? He kept asking himself over and over.

Julian stole a few pecks from her, tinting his lips redder than they already were. "Adore you even more."

Alex was about to lose it, he could only think about going for a smoke or two but he'd have to wait it out a little longer or he'd be way too obvious.

The champagne was heavenly, the bubbles running down their throats perfectly. They resumed their conversation like nothing had happened but then some nosey people started coming over to the table as they made their ways to leave the restaurant. Most of them were sweet, telling them 'congratulations' before they told them some cringe joke about the honeymoon and they'd leave with a wink; but the young couple that had just approached their table had asked to see the ring.

Ella had tried not to laugh, covering it up with a cough. She showed off her left hand, the 'death ramps' ring snuggled around her slender finger and matching perfectly with her red nails.

The unknown girl had frowned, confused at the ring choice and Ella giggled. "That's his most special ring. A family thing really, so it's very special he's proposed with it."

The strangers only nodded with a forced smile that had everyone at the table biting their tongues not to laugh—everyone except for Alex, who was growing angrier, because apparently it was Julian's family ring now.

He had to hold back a scoff, choosing to just down the champagne he had left and excuse himself to go to the bathroom.

No one really noticed the haste in which he left the table except for Matt, who followed his path with an attentive gaze. Everyone else at the table was too busy listening to the bullshit details of Ella's very much fake upcoming wedding.

"Bright pink flowers and a purple dress? You are insane." Nick shook his head at the deranged shit she was saying.

"Wait until you hear about our rainbow triple layer wedding cake." Ella added and the thought of it made everyone laugh harder. She only hoped no one was eavesdropping and taking what she was saying seriously because then they'd think she was insane.

Alex threw cold water on his face to get him to calm down. It was fake, they're not engaged, they did not get engaged with your ring. You have a stunning girlfriend that you love very much, you told her you loved her only two days ago. Ella is happy with someone else, you're just friends—that's all you'll ever be. He kept telling himself all that like he was a religious man reciting his favorite holy book verses.

Once Alex got back to the table, he found everyone taking bites of a big apple crumble with vanilla ice cream on top.

Ella waved him over excitedly, "Al, come here! You need to try this."

His ring on her finger flashed under the lights in the restaurant. How he wished he'd been the one to give it to her.

He sat down on his seat on her right side, and instantly was surprised by Ella feeding him a spoonful of dessert. He didn't know what he was expecting but she didn't take the spoon away for him, making Alex have to do the rest for himself. He set the utensil on top of his cloth napkin that was still on the table where he'd left it before running off.

He nodded, relishing in the sweetness of the dish. His brain took him back to the day they shared funnel cakes at Belmont Park and he smiled fondly. He remembered the excited smile on her face as she waited for his reaction to the food and he couldn't help but compare it to how she was looking at him at the moment.

"S'really good." Alex agreed and she nodded back.

"Right?!" She turned back to grab another bite with her own spoon, "You're very welcome guys, I will be expecting an award later."

Jamie smirked then, taking the opportunity to tease Ella. "We'll leave it to Julian to give you your prize, Ellie."

Her breath hitched making her cough and Julian laughed beside her, he brought a hand to her back to rub it soothingly whilst she kept coughing with a hand over her mouth. Alex wanted to die right there, why were his friends like that?

"Oh she will. Whatever she wants tonight, she gets it." Julian agreed, "Shall we try that leather thing you ordered the other day?" He suggested, making Ella's eyes widen. Next to her, Alex was staring at his lap with the same expression.

She pinched Julian's waist, "Fucks sake, shut up!" She shouted in a whisper, the last thing she needed was the lads finding out how she was in bed when she knew they'd just tease her endlessly about it.

Matt was quick to try and pry for more information, "Oh Julian, do tell us what that leather thing is."

Alex wanted to interfere before anything else was said, Please do not tell us, Julian.

He opened his mouth to start explaining but Ella's hand flew over his mouth to avoid anyone getting an explanation.

"Yeah, you're not getting anything from him," she started with a threatening voice, her eyes swimming around the table and then she turned to her boyfriend to finish her ultimatum, "If he wants to use it tonight."

Julian nodded obediently but licked the palm of her hand that was still covering his mouth just to get on her nerves. Ella scoffed and then used her napkin to clean her hand, Alex stole a glance at her and she looked so happy regardless of the teasing that it made him want to leave already.

Breana smirked at her best friend who was sitting right in front of her, "You're really hot Ellie, has anyone told you that?" Ella smirked back at her, if there was anyone who was her loyal cheerleader, it was Bre.

"Only you all the time, my love." She blew the model a kiss which she reciprocated.

Matt hugged Breana by the waist, bringing her to his side possessively and pointed a finger at Julian. "Oi, get your girlfriend to stop flirting with mine."

Everyone started laughing, the giggles filling the air around their table. Ella winked at Breana and then turned to Matt to bother him a bit more.

"You just know I could steal her from you easily."

Matt scoffed but when Breana agreed with a "She could." He rolled his eyes.

It was his turn to mortify Ella, "Can we get another round of applause for the soon-to-be married?" The drummer asked loudly to the rest of the restaurant and when the place erupted in claps and cheers, Ella hid in Julian's neck.

Her and Julian had to look around mouthing 'thank you's to the people around them. Minutes passed and when finally no one had their eyes on them, she glared at Matt. "You're a fucking menace, let's just get the check already."

Ten minutes later, they had paid and were outside waiting for their taxis. The head chef had gone out to personally congratulate Julian and Ella and she had started to feel bad for deceiving everyone at the restaurant like that. The champagne and dessert had been worth it though, but the guilt set in when before they left, one of the waitresses gave her a lovely bouquet of roses.

Once outside, Ella had felt like she could breathe again. She took one rose out of the arrangement she was holding in her right hand and gave it to Breana. She thanked her with a loud kiss on her cheek which made Matt get in the middle of them to keep Ella away from her, as he'd said.

The lads were all leaving in the same cab back to the hotel, meaning Bre would share the taxi with Julian and Ella.

"Are you staying over?" Julian asked his girlfriend's best friend, knowing he was gonna stay at Ella's.

Breana let out a sarcastic laugh, ""Yeah, absolutely not. I'd like to get a good night's sleep, thank you very much."

Ella rolled her eyes, "We're not that loud."

Bre disagreed instantly, "Yes you are. Don't even try to fight me on this one unless you want me to record a voice note of it next time as proof."

Alex was grateful he'd decided to light up a cigarette the second they stepped outside, he was lost in the nicotine filling his system and texting Arielle to avoid listening further into the conversation his friends were having.

He could hear the commotion behind him after Ella had finally whispered to Breana in her ear what it was that she'd ordered. Alex ignored the gasp the model let out, and how loud Matt had gotten as he was trying to find out too, to read whatever Arielle was saying about the video she was shooting.

Soon enough the cab that was taking the guys arrived and they all started hugging around. Bre wouldn't let go of Matt as Ella walked around hugging everyone goodbye. The PA was feeling weirdly nostalgic even if she knew they'd be back in LA in no time.

Jamie and Nick both squished her in a hug, she was gonna miss them so much. "Gonna wish on every star the months go by fast, I'm gonna miss you so much." They reciprocated her words, promising they'd be back as soon as the holidays were over.

Alex dropped his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it before opening his arms to her. They swayed with their holds tight on each other. "Gonna miss you." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"Me too." Ella replied and let go of him. She took his ring off her finger and gave it back to him, "Sorry for stealing it for so long, hope you enjoyed the champagne at least."

He chuckled, putting the ring back on his little finger. "I did, thanks Ellie." What he hadn't enjoyed was the way his heart dropped at the proposal, and the way his brain seemed to hold onto Julian's every word despite every try at forcing himself to think about anything else.

He was going to go insane.

Smiling brightly, "You're welcome," she said lastly before she left to walk towards Matt and Breana. When she got to them, she poked Bre on the ribs. "As much as I hate him, I wanna say goodbye." She joked.

The model left her boyfriend with a loud peck on his lips and proceeded to hug everyone else goodbye, following after Julian who was now saying bye to Nick with a typical bro hug.

Ella hugged Matt, "Don't take too long to come back yeah? She's gonna be insufferable if you're not back the second it turns 2013."

He laughed in her ear, giving her a squeeze before they both let go of each other. "I will, I promise."

They'd had to basically push Matt into the cab after that, because he could not stop kissing Breana goodbye. They could see the exasperated look on the driver's face but Alex promised him they'd give him a big tip for the inconvenience.

Julian, Ella and Breana waved them goodbye as the car left and then they sighed when it went out of their view.

Ella snaked her arm around Bre's waist and she started walking, "Let's go, my love."

Julian followed after them, chuckling. "I love how the second I'm alone with you two, I end up being the third wheel."

Bre giggled, "Get used to it Jules, she was mine first."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Alex thought being back in the UK would be the cure for it all. Being away from LA, surrounded by his family and friends and walking through the familiar streets around the city of London would whisk away the thought of Ella.

How wrong had he been.

It had been almost two months since they'd left Los Angeles, the month of November just starting, the weather getting colder and colder on the way to the holiday season. But not cold enough for him to endure the actual madness the Halloween week had caused him.

He'd gone to a Halloween party he'd been invited to with his friends and his girlfriend but nothing interesting had happened there, everything that had gone wrong was purely Ella's fault.

Despite Halloween being on a Thursday, Ella had partied from Wednesday to Friday and Alex only knew because she'd posted pictures to her Instagram that had left him gasping for air.

On Wednesday she had posted multiple pictures of a photoshoot she seemed to have done with Breana. They were both dressed as witches only they only had lacey lingerie bodysuits under a black velvet cloak that barely covered them. They had pointy witch hats on their heads in some pictures and their fingers were halfway covered in some kind of black ink that tied it all together.

The pictures looked stunning, there was no denying Ella's amazing photography skills and creativity when it came to setting a perfect shoot, but the one that had fucked with him the most was one where Ella seemed to have Bre's hand around her neck.

In the picture Ella was laying on the grass, surrounded by black candles lit alive and pages that displayed weird imagery. She was staring at the camera whilst Breana's arm seemed to rest between her boobs so her hand came to wrap around Ella's neck—her pointer finger was lifted and pressing on Ella's bottom lip. The red lighting setting the mood even more.

When Alex saw that as he unlocked his phone and scrolled through instagram, he choked on his coffee. The liquid splattered all over the kitchen counter as he struggled to set the mug down before finding a napkin to clean everything up.

It was like something ignited inside of him, something that he'd tried so hard not to let catch a single spark after coming back from California.

He'd spent a good fifteen minutes staring at the pictures, his eyes stuck on Ella, making him wonder why she wasn't in front of the camera more often. She was meant to be the focus of the frames. He could prove it with that singular picture.

His mind obsessed over how much he wanted to take Breana's place in the pictures, especially that one. He wanted to have her underneath him like that, at his mercy with his hand around her throat—completely surrendered to him.

It was Nick's knock on his door that startled him back to reality, he quickly dropped his empty mug in the sink and locked his phone before opening the door and letting the bassist in. He told him he'd go for a quick piss before they left.

When he got to the bathroom he could only think of the pictures, he had to splash his face multiple times to get the thoughts out of his head. Get a fucking grip mate! He told himself as he tapped his cheeks repeatedly. He sighed, he was going to go mad.

Later that day, when he was too many tequila shots in after a football game they'd been watching had finished in a tense round of penalties, Alex found himself unconsciously scrolling through Instagram and looking for Ella's page.

He found a new picture posted: Breana and Ella dressed in the witch costumes and with cocktails in hand. Bre was helping Ella light up her cigarette with her own that was sticking out from between her teeth.

Alex groaned as he scrolled back down to find the picture he couldn't stop thinking about, only the alcohol loosening his senses up enough to feel his dick twitch in his pants the second he laid his eyes on it.

Fucking hell...

The next night, he remembered being in the kitchen making some popcorn for him and Arielle to snack on while watching movies when he stumbled across yet another picture of her halloween celebrations.

It was a mirror picture this time, taken by Breana who seemed to be dressed as the opposite to her best friend—a regular angel, dressed in all white. In comparison, Ella was wearing nothing but a black corset and a garter belt underneath holding up her sheer thigh high stockings, on her back were a pair of black angel wings that completed her costume. Her long black hair fell in waves over her shoulders but not hiding the swell of her breasts that were on full show thanks to the tightness of her corset.

He cursed under his breath feeling incredibly flustered at the sight, the insistent beeping of the microwave was disrupting his efforts to gather himself. He poured the popcorn in a bowl and hastily made his way back to his room. The movie wasn't even fifteen minutes in when he had pounced on his girlfriend in search of some relief, and he was glad to feel her reciprocation. He'd sighed when he had finished, relishing in the dissipation of his pent up frustration.

That only lasted for a day because he was once again drowning in filthy thoughts about Ella. He was tipsy, dressed as a bloody washing machine to match his girlfriend's costume as Florence—it had been his idea to make the pun work as a costume, Florence and the (washing) Machine—, when he'd gone out for a cigarette and scrolled through social media without even being focused on it. He'd just wanted to distract himself from the noise of the party he was in but the picture Ella had posted only ten minutes before shook his ground.

He hated it because Julian was in it dressed as Hugh Hefner, holding Ella's waist tightly and smiling brightly, yet he fucking loved it because she looked stunning. Playboy bunny, of course she had to dress up as one.

Her legs on full show, only covered by sheer black stockings, the bodice she was wearing hugged her curves perfectly, cuffs on her wrist, a tuxedo collar with a bow tie around her neck, and the bunny ears perched on top of her head. But what made him gasp for air was the fluffy tail on her ass, she just looked so fucking irresistible he almost ran to the bathroom to alleviate himself.

He'd left the party relatively early with Arielle, after she just couldn't wait any longer to get home from all the things he was whispering in her ear. He'd been eager to start it all the second they walked through the front door of his flat, hands working as fast as they could because he could feel the thought of Ella chasing him as he got off with Arielle.

It was like she was haunting his every thought.

Not even after their activities had he been able to catch sleep. Arielle was spent, softly snoring beside him but he just couldn't rest. He got up and hid in the bathroom, his phone clutched in his hand to succumb to temptation, to the thought of her.

He had taken a screenshot of the picture, cropping Julian fast before he could do anything else. He'd tried his hardest to stay as quiet as possible as his fist pumped his hard cock, shaky breaths leaving him with each stroke to the sight of Ella in that damn costume.

He thought how he'd not be able to wait much to fuck her in it, he was sure that if he was with her that night he'd have her bent over the kitchen counter the second they got home. His hand print would certainly be marked on her ass by the end of the night and her neck littered with love bites because there was nothing he wanted to do more than to mark that pretty neck up as he pounded into her from behind.

The thought of his hips rocking against hers was more than enough to tip him over the end, imagining he was letting his cum drip all over her ass and her lower back. What a sight that would be.

He felt calmer after that, but as he cleaned up he started to grow restless. What the fuck are you doing? He asked himself, looking at his reflection in the mirror, he was disappointed in himself for having just wanked to a picture of Ella for the second time, but mostly because the satisfaction was stronger than his disappointment. He made sure to delete the screenshot from his phone before he exited the bathroom, the last thing he needed was his girlfriend finding out he was cumming to the thought of somebody else.

He thought then, when Halloween week was over and November claimed its very first week, it would be back to normal for him, as normal as it could be. She had been posting her usual pictures: shots of different parts of the city of Los Angeles, candids of strangers around her, pictures from her usual photoshoots which mostly caught Breana front and center of the camera. His innocent scrolls through Instagram were just that, innocent and appreciating of her talent, but a fateful afternoon in the very middle of the month had him cursing into the air.

She looked drenched, head to toe, but only wearing a two-piece lingerie set that made his eyes roll back into his head. He groaned as he started getting hard in his sweatpants. She had suspenders that clasped on the top of her knickers and those thigh high stockings that looked marvelous on her. Her legs looked longer with the stilettos she had on and the oversized blazer that was hanging off her shoulders somehow made her look hotter. She had him in shambles.

'He says I'm his muse' she'd captioned it and Alex wished he could tell her she was his too. Despite wanting to punch Julian for having Ella, he mentally thanked him for such a stunning picture of her.

That had been the third time he'd made a mess in the bathroom to the thought of her, this time in the shower just like the first time and letting himself make as much noise as he wanted to since he was home alone. He was afraid of letting himself moan Ella's name, wary of the things that would unravel but when it fell from his lips as he came, he'd never felt something sound more right in his life.

He should've really listened to himself back then and stopped himself from moaning her name because by the last month of the year, he'd lost count of how many times he'd come undone while chanting her name. The walls echoing her name back to him every time he needed relief, which was almost every time she posted.

To a picture of her naked silhouette on the beach against the golden light casted by the dying sun. A picture Julian had taken of her naked in bed, the sheets barely covering her body. A picture Breana had taken of her sucking her middle finger staring at the camera, her hollowed cheeks on perfect show. A picture just centered on her tits which were barely covered by the two glasses of vodka cranberry she had, one on each hand and over her nipples.

He had lost count of how many times he had screenshotted and deleted pictures from his phone to not get caught. He found himself looking through her instagram more times than not. It was bad, he was down bad.

It had been Matt who had caught onto him, it only had taken him a few times to catch up onto his pattern.

The first time had been when they had all been over at Alex's to watch an American football match they had been anticipating, that's why it had been so weird to Matt when Alex stood up and left in the middle of a play that was gonna end up in a definite touchdown for the team they were rooting for.

Alex had gotten a notification on his phone, opened Instagram only to find a picture that had made him choke on the sip of beer he'd taken. He tried to put his phone down and watch the game but his eyes were almost glued to the picture Ella had just posted.

It was her in front of the camera with her boyfriend behind her, holding her bare tits for her. His hands covered her breasts from the camera as she glared at it with a threatening stare. Her red lips were enticing with a lit up cigarette hanging from them. 'Bras are overrated'. He was embarrassed of how fast he'd liked the picture, considering unliking it to maintain his reputation intact but it was too late, Ella probably had already gotten the notification about it.

He was quick to just up and leave, hearing the commentator's talk in the background about how that play was decisive for the future of the team in the season on the road to the Superbowl. He couldn't be arsed about the fucking game anymore, not when his jeans grew painfully constricting by the second, the longer that he stared at the picture.

He made sure to close both his bedroom door and his ensuite door, groaning in pleasure as his fingers closed around his cock. He thought about himself holding her that way, the way he would pinch her nipples, play with them, twist them around, knead her tits and mark them up until she was cuming underneath him. His thoughts only focused on how much he'd love to make her lose herself entirely just by him playing with her breasts.

His movements were fast, trying to picture her moaning—just like he always did. 'What a privilege must it be to hear those pretty sounds' that was a thought that permanently stayed in his head and that time it wasn't the exception. He'd want to explore every inch of her skin, see which spot in her neck would have her squirming around and whining for him not to stop.

He could almost hear her begging him to suck harder, to not stop.

"Fuck– Ella–" his words sounded strangled as he came.

Five minutes was the time he'd taken and the time it had taken the game to almost finish. There were only thirty seconds on the clock and it was the last quarter of the game. It was good that his team was winning by seven points or else he'd actually be disappointed to see them leave.

Matt frowned at him, "Where'd you go?"

"Had to use the toilet." The singer replied way too quickly and aggressively.

The drummer knew instantly he was lying, Nick and Jamie noticed too but they were too invested in the game to care. But Matt was nosey so he kept his gaze on his best mate as if that would give him the truth, but it didn't.

Alex ignored him completely, keeping his eyes on the television screen and not once reciprocating the stare. Matt hummed, intrigued. He was sure he'd find out what had happened eventually.

Matt's eyes went back to the end of the game and when it was over they celebrated their team's victory by four points. Alex offered to bring them all new bottles of beer and once he was gone, the drummer pulled out his phone to pass the time.

He had a few notifications piled up, the one about Ella's new picture having been posted only 7 minutes before was there below a few new texts he'd gotten from Breana. He was quick to answer to his girlfriend, not being able to connect the dots about Alex's behavior.

A few days later, when they were all at Nick's, Matt had caught Alex being weird again. Only this time he had a certain idea of what could be happening.

Kelly and Katie had been going on about the wedding planning and how they had found a lovely florist and now they needed to start looking for the bridesmaids dresses and Kelly's wedding dress. Matt had joked about how Nick would be getting a quick day to shop for his tux and then they'd put all of their focus on the stag party.

The sizzle of the wood burning on the fireplace was loud but not enough to overpower their laughter, Alex almost missed the buzzing in his pocket.

He had been talking to his girlfriend, as she was coming back to London to spend the holidays with him and his family. He was nervous but excited, mostly excited—to have her back and see if she could cure his fogged up brain which had been claimed by Ella in the past three months.

Not even their raunchy phone calls would take the multiple images of Ella he had in his head and he was starting to feel bad. He could only hope that being able to have Arielle back beside him would sweep the thoughts away.

She had been texting him her flight information, going on and on about how nervous she was to spend the holidays with Penny and David, to which he had been telling her it would be alright. His parents had always loved having his girlfriends over when it was holiday season, and they both really liked her. It would be alright.

He had expected another 'won't I be bothering you all?' or maybe a 'how many presents should I take?' when he pulled out his phone from his pocket but he'd gotten that notification, the one that was his doom and blessing at the same time.

'Ella Hayes just posted a picture'

He sighed, bringing the brightness down on his phone so no one around him could catch what he was seeing. It wasn't like they could, he was sitting in a chair in the corner of the living room, barely interacting with anyone other than the moments he'd join them all in laughter. They knew he was texting his girlfriend so they weren't asking about it, Matt had already teased the information out of him earlier.

Alex stood up and absentmindedly asked anyone if they wanted a refill, to which only Jamie and Matt asked for another bottle of beer.

He nodded before scurrying away to the hallway that would take him to the kitchen. When he was halfway through it, he opened the app and found himself at a loss of words at the sight.

He set his empty bottle on top of the kitchen island and looked up at the ceiling almost like asking someone up there for help. He rubbed his face with his left hand, knowing what was going to happen. There was not even time for him to double think it, or feel too embarrassed about it because with another look at what she had posted, he was gone down the rabbit hole she sent him to.

It was Ella's car—he could see the mirrorball with the cowboy hat hanging from the rearview mirror—and it had the door open. Ella was seated on the passenger seat, her long legs stretched so that her stiletto-clad feet were resting on the windowsill of the door.

All he could see was her legs, her long tan legs and he was gone. He couldn't not do it.

He didn't even hesitate to exit the kitchen and walk further down the hallway into the guest bathroom.

He cussed under his breath staring at the picture like it could come alive. He could see how the leather skirt she was wearing was barely covering her so the bottom of her ass was on show and pressed over the seat.

Feral. He felt like he was going feral.

He had thought about kissing up her legs, marking them up from her ankles all the way up to her inner thighs. If he thought hard enough, he could hear her panting as he got closer to her heat. He came so fast just thinking about the ways he'd edge her and how good she could sound begging him to help her like she needed to. She'd taste so sweet, he was sure and his mouth found itself dry at the thought of tasting her.

He'd had to bite his lip to not make noise, his insides hurt at the fact that he couldn't call out her name, but he'd rather not be caught. He didn't care if he had taken too long to make his friends wonder what he was doing, he could only think about how good that had felt.

He made sure to check himself so it wasn't obvious, the flush on his cheeks could be given to his drinking so he didn't think much about it.

The people in the living room finally heard the opening of the fridge and the clinking of the bottles as Alex made his way back to them.

"Took you long enough," joked Jamie as he was handed his bottle. "Cheers mate."

Matt was handed his and he couldn't help but interrogate his friend who had a pretty elated look on his face. "Where did you go?"

Alex panicked, shrugging his shoulders. "Erm... Arielle. I was talking to Arielle."

The singer's voice was trying to sound firm but he knew him like the back of his hand. So Matt just nodded, his brows still furrowed in confusion, "Arielle... Right." He knew that face, he had it himself every time after he'd call Breana late at night and she'd dirty talk him into orgasm. Alex had just gotten off. Dirty fucker, thought Matt.

A few minutes went by, when Matt's phone pinged. He unlocked it and cussed, "Jesus fucking Christ."

"What?" Nick asked with a chuckle.

Matt looked flustered and brought his beer bottle to his face for his cheeks to cool down. "Remind me to thank Ella tomorrow. Holy fuck."

Alex tensed, there was no way he was talking like that about Ella's picture surely.

His questions were answered when Kelly asked him further, "Why?"

The drummer stood up and handed her his phone, "She takes the best pictures of Bre, I swear."

Alex let go of the breath he had been holding, Fuck, that was close.

Kelly whistled lowly, "Lucky man, Helders. She's fucking fit."

Matt smiled proudly, "I know, I know."

The phone was passed around and Katie gasped, "When am I meeting Ella? I want my pictures taken like that, fucking hell."

When the phone reached Alex's hand, he nodded agreeing with everyone else. Bre was leaning back on a windowsill, her head thrown back so it wasn't captured on the frame; the room completely dark but the golden hour lighting bathing her body which was covered only by a white lingerie set. "You should go to LA with us next year, Ella takes the best pictures."

The rest of the lads agreed, and Jamie further suggested Katie joining them in LA as Alex handed Matt back his phone.

The singer's peace was interrupted when Matt, a few seconds later, coughed as he'd choked on the mouthful of beer he'd taken.

Everyone asked him if he was okay as he continued to cough, "Fucks sake." He cursed, trying to get oxygen back into his lungs. "I cannot believe it's the Ella we know that keeps posting these pictures."

Kelly had heard loads about Ella so she was intrigued to see, she asked to grab Matt's phone and he handed it to her easily. He looked at Alex, who caught his gaze but averted it quickly—Matt had clearly seen his like on the picture, a picture which had only been posted some minutes before when he was 'talking to Arielle'.

"That's hot," Kelly said quickly, making Nick laugh at her bluntness, "What? She is!" She then turned the phone to show Katie and Jamie, "Are you gonna tell me that's not hot?"

"Fuck yes, it is." Agreed Katie instantly.

Matt encouraged them to look at the rest of her pictures then, remembering she had posted some that had left him wondering if it was really the Ellie he knew. "You should look at some of her other pictures, they are insane considering how shy she used to always be."

And that's how Kelly and Katie had started scrolling through her pictures and marveling over them.

"This is Ella? The one that went to Vegas with yous and Bre?" Had asked Kelly, completely at loss for words.

She remembered how coy she had been when they talked on the phone during that trip, after the boys had found out about her and Nick's engagement.

Matt nodded with a smirk, "Yep, that's her."

Jamie quickly added, "She's gotten with this lad, and now she's just her filthy self in the open. Good for her actually, he's fit, nice lad."

"Oooo," wondered Katie, "Are there pictures of him?"

Matt cackled, "Yeah, he makes a few appearances on her page."

When they found one they gasped, "Fucking hell!" Katie grabbed Jamie's arm for him to see, he didn't have social media so she was sure he hadn't seen any of the pictures.

It was a picture of them on a bike by the beach, she was in a bikini and he was shirtless. They looked incredibly good together, like the protagonists of a movie. Jamie smiled at it, they looked so happy. He was so happy for Ella.

"They look good together, don't they?" the guitarist asked his girlfriend, who was almost drooling.

"They're both fucking fit! Are you joking?" Katie exclaimed.

Alex wanted to leave the room, he didn't want to start thinking about those two together once again. Not when he had just done that to her latest picture a few minutes before.

"Right, Al?" He only managed to hear from Matt.

He had gotten lost in the thought of Ella, again. "Sorry, what?"

"I said that they make a great couple." Matt wanted to push his buttons, just to see if he'd break.

Alex smiled, it was so forced that Katie and Kelly looked at Matt searching for answers about his distaste for them. The drummer only smirked harder and then turned back to stare at his friend, wanting to hear him say it.

"They are. Very good couple." The singer agreed, painfully.

And right then, Matt started narrating the fake proposal to Kelly and Katie. Alex rolled his eyes, letting his head hang, staring at his 'death ramps' ring as Matt's voice filled his ears.

But the moment that had fully confirmed Matt's suspicions was when they were over at Alex's a few days before New Year's Eve.

The lads were all sat in the living room, chatting about how Christmas had been. Everyone was really interrogating Alex about how it had gone for Arielle to spend Christmas over with him and his parents. The conversation had turned after about ten minutes, Jamie and Nick chatting loudly as Matt and Alex were caught up by their phones.

Alex was just distracted, his girlfriend was texting him from time to time as she'd gone out for the day with her friends. Matt was talking to Ella and Breana though, in the groupchat the three of them had.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:22) I have some scans that I just found and I've decided this will be my Christmas gift for you Matt.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:24) You know where to send them, Ellie xx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:25) Please tell me you're not in public, i don't want to get blamed for your indecency.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:25) I'm at Alex's. send them over x

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:26) He's gonna wank in his guest bathroom, how much do you wanna bet, Ellie?

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:26) Not even gonna bet, he will do it. I'm 100% sure.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:27) Am I really gonna be kept waiting? You've already talked Miss Hayes, email them.

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:28) Someone's eager...

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:28) Babe I miss you and Ella takes the best pictures of you, of course I am xxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:29) Miss you more, honey. You're gonna love these, everything is red ;) xxxx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:31) Aw cute. Don't start sexting here please, I will like to not be traumatized x

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:32) Shut up, you're dirtier than me and Bre combined x

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:34) And proud of it! (Just sent them, enjoy idiot xx)

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:34) Matt, don't leave yet, I'm trying to convince Ella to post at least one of the ones I took of her that day.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:35) What are the options?

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:35) Just sent them to you.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:37) Ellie, these are fucking amazing. At least post them to brag about Bre's photography skills. You're teaching her well xx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:37) See!!!! That one where she's doing the strap of her heel is my favorite.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:38) But it's just been Christmas, maybe I should post something more festive?

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:38) Babe if you don't post it, I will go into your account and do it for you.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:39) It'll be a christmas gift for people's wank banks. I'm sure julian will greatly appreciate it xx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:39) Wank banks?! Stop it.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:39) Yeah your boyfriend's for a start. And I'm sure there's a long list after him.

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:40) Honey, I said convince her not keep her from it.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:42) Matt you're such an idiot, but okay I will post it only for you Bre. Any excuse to brag about my girl xxxxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:42) Yay! love youuuu xxxxxxx

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:43) And for Julian???? Also stop trying to steal MY girlfriend.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:43) Hahaha sure for Julian too. And I will never xx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:45) Okay Matt, you can go enjoy those pictures now xxxxx

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:45) Thanks hot stuff, talk to you later? xxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:45) Definitely ;) xxx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:46) Disgusting, bye. Enjoy your wank.

Matt chuckled, he wanted to do nothing more than to leave and enjoy the scans Ella had sent him but he wanted to confirm his suspicions first.

He had joined Jamie and Nick's chat to appear distracted but he truly had all of his attention on Alex.

Five minutes later when both of their phones vibrated to the notification, Matt had to force himself to act as if he hadn't noticed.

Alex had frozen in his seat, his finger clicking on it and he sat up straighter when he opened the picture. He felt like Ella was purposely torturing him. A groan was stuck in his throat when the picture loaded.

Ella was leaning on the wall, wearing a red sheer robe. She was slightly bent down with her leg lifted upwards so she could do the strap of the heels she was wearing. Her hair was covering up her face, so her body was the main focus of the frame. The robe fell open on her legs so her 'Divine Feminine' tattoo was on full show and over it there was a garter band holding a dagger to her thigh.

'Femme fatale, taken by my favorite girl @breanamcdow xxxx'

He was trying to play it cool, Matt would give him that. But he only held up for two minutes before he excused himself saying, "Erm, I'm gonna go phone Arielle." He pointed behind him in the direction of his room as he stood up, he looked absolutely flustered.

The drummer wanted to laugh, and his other two friends noticed. They asked him what was happening, and he just dismissed them saying it was nothing. Internally he was laughing his ass off, Alex was still so fucked up over Ella—he found it comical.

He couldn't even let it go for the time being until Arielle would come back, because she was staying over at her friend's.

He was cursing as he moved around, locking both doors he'd gone through. It was like a routine by then, but it didn't feel like it. Lately, cumming to Ella's pictures felt more rewarding than fucking his girlfriend and it was killing him inside.

The fact that he couldn't even find pleasure in someone else, someone he should be, haunted him.

It was hard to recall ever being this bent out of shape by someone. He had never been this bewitched by a person he hadn't even gotten to properly kiss. He had loved before but whatever he was feeling now burnt.

He was branded by the thought of her.

When he'd come back, fifteen minutes later, Matt was elated. He knew it, he fucking knew it. The look on Alex's face was almost screaming it out loud for everyone to know.

Matt was intrigued, the question of how many times had he done that popping into the forefront of his brain. And if he wanted to know the answer, it was too many times. So many that Alex had lost count, so many that when he fucked his girlfriend saying her name felt utterly wrong—as if every bit of him belonged to Ella instead of Arielle.

He was frustrated to say the least. In not finding any comfort in the person he was supposed to, and he used to find it in Arielle but that was before he had seen Ella again.

She had come back into his life with a curse. He was sure she unknowingly had put him under a spell.

As the days passed, he had forced himself to try. To try really hard.

Try being the key word.

After New Year's day, when he'd woken up to a text from Ella wishing him a lovely new year and telling him she couldn't wait to have them all back, he had almost folded. Almost. And he was relieved by the fact that he could feel he could hold back a little bit longer, if he focused enough on not being affected by her.

But then as the first week of the year came to an end, and they only had a week left to go back to LA, Ella posted something that completely unleashed him.

She had gotten a new tattoo, a hand tattoo. 'Pure Desire' it read in big cursive letters in the middle of the top of her right hand.

The picture was what had made him let out a rough groan from the deepest pit of his chest.

She had her freshly tattooed hand around Julian's neck, her fingers tight around his throat and the tattoo on perfect focus in the middle of the frame.

'What a pretty little necklace'

Alex absolutely lost himself that night.

When Arielle came back, only twenty minutes later, he kissed her passionately. Arielle had moaned into his mouth filled with joy at the pleasant surprise. She'd dropped her bags on the floor and worked quickly on the buttons of his shirt, leaving his chest on show for her when the fabric dropped next to her purse.

They had moved fast to the bedroom, Alex kissing and bruising every bit of her neck and chest after they got on the bed. Arielle brought his face back up to kiss him fiercely before they could go on further, his hands worked on freeing her from her clothes trying his hardest to not interrupt the kiss, which was barely a proper one as their teeth clashed and their mouths hung open to let out their shaky breaths caused by the friction of their hips rocking against each others'.

Alex worked on automatic pilot, quickly undressing himself and putting a condom on. He grabbed his dick and teased her entrance, Arielle clung to his shoulders with her nails digging on his back while she moaned into his ear. He cursed, as he wasn't able to hold back any longer.

He filled her up completely in one swift motion, Arielle's head thrown back in pleasure as he bottomed out. He used to love seeing her falling apart under him from the very first moment he slid inside of her but now the view wasn't doing much for him. His brain kept asking for one person, one who was an ocean away.

He felt so disappointed that he gave into his thoughts so easily, letting his brain become clouded by the fantasy of it being Ella in his bed. He swore he opened his eyes back up and it was her. Ella, under him, cupping his jaw and begging him to go faster.

And who was he to deny her of anything?

Alex picked up the pace, grabbing one of Ella's thighs to lift her leg over his shoulder, and he felt himself grow harder inside her when a loud whine came out of her mouth.

She sounded so sweet, just like she always had. He left a trail of open mouth kisses from her chin down to the valley of her breasts, he used his tongue to tease her nipples. Sucking bruises around them, softly biting them to make her moan louder.

Ella lifted her hand to his mouth and made him suck her fingers, his saliva slowly dripping down her digits which were then quickly pressed to her clit. She started rubbing it in soft motions but when he brought his own hand up to make her rub harder on it, she started feeling herself nearing over the edge of her orgasm.

He felt her clenching harder as his pace sped up and to the sound of their skin slapping, their curses, their moans, joined the thud of the headboard hitting the wall. He groaned into her ear as he felt himself being milked by the tightness of her walls.

It only took his "Cum for me, darling." for Ella to give into the heavy pleasure and come undone. Her fingers tangled in his hair as her back arched and she trembled under him in a powerful orgasm, he felt himself spilling into the condom—his thrusts faltered and lost rhythm as he came.

He cursed into her ear, "Fucking hell," groaning as he rode out their orgasms. He sighed completely overcome in pleasure, "Ell–," he started but as he opened his eyes and saw Arielle looking completely blissed out under him, he felt himself wanting to be sick. "Arielle," he was quick to change and she giggled.

She fucking giggled under him, way too distracted by the euphoria of her orgasm to even catch his mortified expression.

Arielle opened her eyes, holding his face and pressing multiple kisses to his lips. "I love you," she said, and he felt his heart dropping. He only hummed and stood up.

He didn't feel anything at all when he pulled out of her. Not when he went to the bathroom and discarded the condom. He looked at himself in the mirror and wanted to scream. He could not do this to Arielle any longer, she deserved better than whatever the fuck the situation had turned into.

He grabbed a cloth to clean her up, at least he would be nice to her before letting her go. There was no way he could continue the relationship if he knew his heart was set on someone else. He just couldn't.

He let her cuddle into him, as if he wasn't dying inside from disappointment in himself. She was on cloud nine, that had been the best sex they'd had in a while. She'd thought, what a wonderful way to start the new year.

If she had only known.

The next morning he had felt compelled to make some breakfast, he wanted to let her down easy—as if it had been a one night stand and not a relationship that had gone on for seven months.

She was eating the omelet he'd made, sipping on her coffee happily when he'd turned back from the stove, and he'd looked at her with a frown. It was the second time he'd actually looked at her that whole morning.

"Arielle, I, erm–," he started, not even having the correct words to say what he wanted to say, "I don't think this is working anymore."

She had snorted, waiting for the punchline of his joke but when she was met with absolute silence, her eyes jumped back on him. "What?"

"I, erm, I don't think we should be together anymore."

A loud scoff came from her, what the fuck? "I don't get it..."

He frowned even harder, was there another way to interpret what he had just said? There was no way he couldn't have been clearer.

"I don't think we should keep this relationship going." Alex repeated and he felt so heartless, he could see the more he repeated it, the more her heart was taking a hit.

"Stop," Arielle pleaded. "I fucking get what you said, but why?" She sounded so desperate to find sense in what was happening. It all felt like a fever dream.

He had no clue what to say, "It's me." He plainly added, not wanting to use the cringe phrase that worked oh so perfectly well for the situation.

Arielle let out a humorless laugh, "What the fuck was last night then? Did you know you were doing this? You wanted to get one last fuck out of me?" Her words were poisonous, trying to cause him at least half of the hurt he was causing her.

But despite her pushing to get something out of him, the singer could only let his face fall. "No, I didn't. I–" He felt bad for her, it truly was entirely his fault but if he admitted what was truly happening, he knew Arielle could blame Ella and he couldn't have that happen. Not when Ella hadn't done anything wrong. "I'm so sorry, Arielle. I really am."

She groaned frustrated, the fork dropping on the middle of the plate made him wince, just as the screeching of the chair she was sitting on did.

She'd rushed to get dressed, pack all of her shit up and leave his place. She tried her hardest to do it all quickly but to not forget a thing, she didn't want to see him for a while.

When she was done, about an hour later, Alex was nowhere to be seen.

"Coward." The model muttered as she walked through the door.

When Arielle got outside, leaving the building in which he lived that she planned to never see again, she waited for a taxi she'd called. What she hadn't noticed was Alex walking back to his place, a couple blocks away, seeing her there standing under the gloomy sky.

He felt like such a shitty person, even more so when she dropped her case in the boot of the cab and got into the backseat with a haste. He saw her wiping her cheeks before closing the door. The car drove by and he didn't even look at it, he just walked back home with his gaze on the pavement and a cigarette in between his lips.

When Alex made it through his front door again, it felt like something in the air had changed. He felt free for a change, like his heart could leap in his chest without a trace of guilt.

But later that day, when Breana posted a picture of Julian and Ella to her own page, he felt the sharpness of a needle poke his chest. Seeing them happily dancing under the streetlights had his heart twisting with hurt.

The heartache he got from seeing her happy with somebody else was only stronger now that he was alone.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Oh Alex... He's such an idiot. I hope you enjoyed, I'm really excited to share all that's coming next! Cannot believe we're already in Part 6 though, time goes by too fast. Thank you so much for reading everyone, I still pinch myself when I see people interacting with my stories and you all saying you enjoy them means the absolute world to me. See you soon for the next one xx

Taglist:  @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​ @andrearroe​ 

[sweatytyrantobservation]

What kind of horses do you think Guts's new Black Swordsman party would be?

What horses I think the new black swordsman party would be!

The long awaited answer to your ask, anon.

Sorry for the wait. I was having to catch up a lot between life stuff. I wanted to get them all right. 💔

Anyway, here's what I think;

Guts- Latvian warmblood

Specifically, the dark brown/Bay. I think it's very guts.

Casca- Argentine Criollo

Listen, I know put guts as a crillo in the band of the hawk horse post, but there's two sides to every breed. the other side being a horse that's slightly more aloof I guess (not in a nasty way I absolutely adore casca) but aloofness in horses is more of a not so interactive, in their own little world sort of thing.

Puck- Tennessee Walking Horse

Very playful horse breed. On my top 10 as most friendly, I thought it fit puck

Isidro - Shetland Pony

Menace, never seen a shetland that isn't a beast.

Farnese - Pure Spanish Breed (PRE)

usually have a healthy degree of forwardness, react well to light and subtle aids, and are usually obedient in a concerted effort to do everything right. basically farense horseified

Serpico- palomino thoroughbred

Specifically, a palomino. He can't be anything else do you hear Me. Thoroughbreds are very loyal, dedicated horses.

Schierke - Welsh cob

All round, I think, welsh cobs are even-tempered breed. They are intelligent, friendly, and trustworthy. Also I think a black and white suits her.

Ivalera- Connemara Pony

calm and sensible disposition. That's the kinda vibe I get from her

Roderick- Friesain

Rubbing my hands together like a fly

desire to please and incredibly calm. Rarely spook if any at all.

Magnifico- marwari horse

Fancy horse, fancy man. He's specifically that colour too, the rare coat, palomino

I hope you guys like my choices, there's two more I gotta add to have the whole party so I'll link it down below

Fuck tumblr for only allowing 10 photos per post

Part 2 here

[dirtyvirgotarot]

What Will The Next Function You Go To Be Like? A Pick-An-Image SHUFFLEMANCY reading! 🌟

🤍This pick a card is all about what will happen at the next function, or party, or whatever you're getting all dressed up to go to! This is a SHUFFLEMANCY reading, so instead of divination tools like cards, I'll be using a specially curated playlist, and use the shuffle button to divine via mood, genre and lyrics! Take what resonates and LEAVE THE REST! I'll talk to you in your respective pile! ~~~~~~~ Pile 1 (The Record): Your Song: Candlelight by Moon Hooch Lighthearted and carefree, for some, it might be a concert or a small band playing that you're going to, if not a full-on party! I feel, though, wherever this is might have an air of sophistication. This ain't no frat party. Get ready to have an amazing time! I feel you won't be alone, you'll go with at least two others to this function, and you'll be really feeling yourself! Spinning, dancing, you're going to look amazing, and you know it. Self-love and self-care are recommended always, of course, but indulge while you get ready! Use that nice body lotion, put on that cologne, you'll be seen as the person you want to be seen as! I don't immediately sense any romantic potential, this party will be a you moment, if not you and close friends! It'll be a bash to remember, lots of amazing memories and most importantly, a major boost in self-confidence that will stick with you! If there is any sort of flirting in the air, it's playful and fun, and not too serious, you're really going to be in your own headspace, and not worried about anyone else. Dance the night away! 💃🕺👯🎶 ~~~~~~~ Pile 2 (The Dress): Your Song: Candlelight by Relient K ♥ Lyrics A daaaaatee! Omg, you're going to go on such an amazing date! If you do not have a S/O, then someone extremely close to you is going to take you out, a one-on-one hangout, just the two of you! This person thinks of you oh so very highly, and has you on a pedestal. You certainly love them too, of course, but I think this date is going to show your friend or S/O's true colors when it comes to you and how they feel about you! I can certainly even see some friends to lovers situations happening here. It's going to be a significant event emotionally, a strengthening of bonds between two wonderful souls! It might not be the fanciest outing, but I see walks around town, going to an ice cream parlor and eating outside while chatting, laughing and having good conversation, all while you look absolutely darling to them. They won't be able to take their mind or their eyes off of you! 🔗💞🕯️🧑‍🤝‍🧑 ~~~~~~~ Pile 3 (The Girl) Your Song: all the good girls go to hell by Billie Eilish ♥ Lyrics

Ohoho.. Juicy! You're going to have a great time. I feel like this might be a typical party, perhaps a college/frat party, lots of people are there. Someone is going to show up at this party that did you real wrong, and they aren't looking so hot about it when they see you. They'll see you and have a guilty face, and for good reason! Don't interact much or start anything, but you absolutely have the right to look, act, and BE better than they are. Enjoy your time, and have fun, but you'll find yourself catching glances at this asshole to see what they're up to. A bit of petty energy, but petty is fine as long as you keep it in your mind! ;) Be polite and cordial if you get into a conversation with them, always take the high road. In the end, it's giving them their karma, their just deserts. Try not to let it stay on your mind the entire night, find a group of friends that can help you forget about their presence for a bit, but be prepared to feel their kicked puppy energy. Keep them at a distance, you are not worth their bullshit. They're messy, they're fucked, they don't deserve your attention, so don't give them much, if any! Just mind your business, and wear your adorable little devil horns in private. 😈💅🍷😇 ~~~~~~~ Pile 4 (The Headbanger): Your Song: Every Night I Dream of Dancing by Andrew Huang ♥ Lyrics Awww... You and a friend or S/O are going to have some time to yourselves. I have a feeling maybe distance or obligations has been keeping you two away from each other, but if you haven't already, you're going to be making plans soon! It'll be a long-term visit, days of maybe road-tripping, going to beaches, even just dancing on your kitchen floor, or heading to bed while it's raining and getting frisky under the comforter. Life is hard for you and your friend or S/O as well right now. I can sense the feeling of fighting against obligations and distance and timing to be able to breathe, to get out and spend some time with each other. You miss this person, and they miss you, and this next outing is going to be the breath of fresh air you both need! A much needed boost of motivation to maybe work on and improve your scenario so such problems happen less! You'll return from it feeling like nothing can hold you down, or hold you back from being with this person! Even if you both live together, or are with each other every day, something has been holding you back from going out for some fun, going on a date, or just having a few days together. It's gonna happen soon, and you'll both be smiling and cuddling and rejuvenating your spirits! 🚫⌚😩🏄🚗✨🫂 ~~~~~~ General Afterthoughts and Notes for All Piles: OMG THE TWO SONGS I HAVE WITH THE TITLE 'CANDLELIGHT' WERE PICKED! I can definitely sense a lot of matters of the heart with this reading, different yet unified under that one root theme. Whether it's self-love, true love, betrayal, or companionship, these events certainly have to with candlelight. Think of each of these readings as a candle at different points of it's life-cycle. That is truly what it felt like to me, not in order, granted. Pile 1 was a candle that had been lit a little while ago, but not too long ago. Pile 2 was the freshly lit candle, burning bright and tall! Pile 3 was the completely melted, fizzled out candle, and Pile 4 was the worn, very melted, yet still flickering with that gentle flame. How beautiful is that! Light a candle, and feel the tranquility as you watch it live out it's beautiful life, just like you are! 🤍 Thank you for reading! If you liked it, be sure to stop by my Tumblr and my Youtube page for more in-depth readings! If you would like to tip me for this reading, I do have a Ko-Fi page! :D Stay tuned for more fun readings, and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day! -DV 💜💚

[angelily-vine]

Nevermore's Starlight Ch. 4

Wednesday Fanifc x OC (Aria Amor)

A/N -- This one's probably one of my favorites for reasons I can't discuss just yet ;) I hope you all enjoy! (also, gwen tn has made me so feral and panicked)

Summary: The girls are planning their weekend together and Lillian has a bit of a surprise for them.

“Violets and Nightshades”

“In three days? The nineteenth?” Lillian asked.

“That’s this Saturday, right?” Morticia inquired, tracing circles on her desk.

Lillian happily nodded and gave the raven-haired girl a pleading look.

“I’ll go with you if Aria and Larissa come along,” Morticia grinned, looking at the both of us sitting next to them.

I look to Larissa to see her response to the proposal. She returned my watch with her own, wordlessly asking for my permission.

Whatever you want to do.

An ‘Are you sure?’ expression enveloped her face, her head tilting to the side.

Giving her an approving nod, Larissa happily accepted Lillian’s invite to join her and Morticia’s weekend plans.

“What do you even plan on doing?” I questioned.

“It’s a surprise,” Lillian smirked.

I roll my eyes at her discreet avidity. 

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’ll be lots of fun.” Morticia smiled, resting her hand upon mine.

Lillian raised her eyebrows as she surveyed the small interaction between us and for whatever idiotic reason, her smirk grew when she glanced at Larissa.

“Hello, hello, pretty ladies!” Gomez sweetly greeted us as he walked towards our group and leaned against Larissa’s desk. The two offered each other a kind smile.

“Hey, Gomez!” Lillian beamed.

“Shouldn’t you be with your own little buddies, Gomez?” I more so request rather than ask.

“In all honesty, I like being with you three more than with those dunderheads.” He admitted with a precious grin.

It’s now the fifth week of school and two weeks ago, Larissa, Lillian, Morticia, and I were invited to a secret society called the Nightshades.

The Nightshades, founded by a long-beloved hero of outcasts, Goody Addams, were used to fight against humanity and fight for the equality of outcasts to normies. This renowned club holds meetings every week or so to update members on the political status of outcasts and movements which occurred in town and worldwide and discuss other items of outcast rights.

However, there were also the occasional skinny dips, parties, and casual hangouts among us members.

Gomez had been invited as well, which wasn’t much of a surprise, seeing as he is an Addams himself. Being a part of the club together, alongside other fellow students, Gomez grew closer to the three of us and partially became an unofficial part of our group. He also warmed up to me after the both of us made the swim teams and he’d always begin a conversation.

Nonetheless, it was still primarily the four of us and Gomez stayed with his other group of friends.

“Aria,” Gomez spoke, fully catching my attention. “Aliya asked if you planned on going for track later this year.”

“Track?”

“Now, I reminded her that you were already choosing soccer and that you’d be even busier with school, art, band, and whatever other clubs,”

“Possibly,” I interject, getting a surprised look from all four outcasts around me.

“Really?!” Morticia gasped, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

She sends me a smile and a playful gleam in her eyes.

“My previous schools didn’t have a swim team so I chose to do track in place of it. I rather enjoy both sports, so why not?” 

Considering it now, I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about going for track. I really do love it as much as I do soccer and my other hobbies.

With that divulgence, Lillian jumped up and squealed and Larissa’s smile grew wider, as did Gomez’s.

“I absolutely adore how amazingly capable you are!” Lillian shrieked.

“Oh, please,” I mumble breathlessly.

“It’s true! You literally are just absolutely wonderful at everything!” The other three nodded in agreement.

I despise it, however, Lillian’s praise and their silent consensus brought out a small smile.

“Thank you, dear.”

After the praise finally came to an end, they began to discuss other matters and how their days had gone.

During lunch and dinner, Lillian constantly whispered to one of the older students at our table and she wouldn’t tell Larissa nor Morticia what she was up to. Anytime they’d ask, Lillian would either say it was nothing or avoid answering overall.

“Oh, so, that’s your boyfriend?” I chime in.

Lillian choked on the juice she was drinking and Larissa and Morticia started laughing. I give Lillian a small grin as I pat her back.

“Good Lord, no,” She shook her head in between her coughs.

Even after my own attempts to find out her scheme, Lillian never caved in. 

The week went by exceptionally quickly and somehow, it was already Saturday morning. Being woken up by an overly excited Lillian who shook me awake wasn’t exactly the ideal way to start the day.

“It’s Saturday!” She sang happily.

“Get off me before I slap you.”

Lillian swiftly threw her hands up and chuckled, then proceeded to skip across the room and into her bathroom.

“Remember, we’re leaving for the woods at six tonight, so don’t disappear for too long, honey pie!” 

“Lillian, it’s six in the morning. We have twelve hours, if not longer, knowing how long it takes for you and Morticia to get ready.”

Ignoring the faint ‘whatever’ coming from her bathroom, I get up and slowly make my way toward my bathroom.

Getting ready for the day, I choose to wear a pair of mom jeans which were a bit baggy at the bottom, and paired it with a black tank top. I preferred to wear a more relaxed and thin attire today because it’s been offly hot this summer and I planned on being out for the entirety of the day.

Despite the fact that the girls and I had all collectively planned to hang out later tonight, Larissa invited me to join her on her morning stroll. 

Since that particular night after dinner, Larissa continued to ask for me to accompany her on walks usually after school or to classes, or even after Nightshade meetings. It became a common occurrence between us. 

Truthfully, walks with Larissa were remarkably therapeutic and gratifying. Mostly, we’d walk in silence and relish the still serenity between us. But when we did converse, our discussions were exceedingly pleasant. She never compelled me to talk of anything I showed any discomfort to and there were never times of awkwardness or affliction. Her smile almost never falls when we’re together.

“Good morning!” The blonde cheerfully greeted me as I strode away from my dorm room and toward her, closing the door behind me.

“Good morning,” I respond softly as she wrapped her arm around mine and we began to walk down the stairs.

As we gradually walked around campus, Larissa spoke of how frustrated she was about a science assignment, her growing annoyance over Morticia’s overbearing flirtatiousness, and other arbitrary matters.

“I mean, I understand some here and there, and flirting really is quite amusing, but good Lord!” She exasperated, as we strolled into the woods.

I stifle a chuckle from her genuine aggravation.

“Am I being too much? Maybe she just does it without even realizing it, or I really am just overreacting.” She whispered, mainly to herself.

“If it really does bother you, then you should speak to her about it. Don’t invalidate your feelings. It does nothing good for you or anyone else.” I spoke, attempting to soothe her distress.

Larissa looks at me with a sweet smile and said a ‘thank you’, and we continued our walk through the woods in silence. Nearing one of the lake’s piers, Larissa freed her arm from mine and eagerly jogged toward it.

“Come on, Ria!” She giggled, taking a seat on the edge.

Rolling my eyes at the nickname and her unnecessary enthusiasm, I make my way to the white-haired girl who had a content smile on her face. She’d already tossed shoes and socks to the side, and her feet and legs were in the water.

“Wanna know something random?” She asked.

“Hm?”

“My hair’s not entirely white.”

“What?”

“It’s actually a blonde. It’s blonde extremely close to white. My mother tells me it’ll soon fade into a silver-white like hers. Regardless, when I let it down and let it shine in the sun, that is when you can see the pale yellow.”

“So, does that mean I get to call you Blondie?” I ask sarcastically.

“Ha, ha, funny. I swear if you do, Aria,” She said as a warning, but her tone was joyful and genuine.

“Why exactly did you care to tell me this, Larissa?” I question.

She shrugged and her bright smile lingered.

“I like telling you things, talking to you. Despite your serene and cold front, you’ve come dear to me. We may not know each other particularly well, and we only just met a couple weeks ago, but you’ve become a very special person to me in ways you do not know.” She admitted shyly with a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

I was speechless.

No one but my parents had ever admitted something so kind and loving to me. I’d never even thought I’d mean something so precious to someone else.

The silence that fell between us as I tried my best to comprehend and take in the blonde’s words wasn’t necessarily awkward, but it wasn’t like the quietness we normally shared.

Larissa’s eyes drifted from me and looked upon the lake and watched the water’s soft ripples, examining the plants and its animals. A smile is still evident on her face.

Our silence lasted for quite a bit, and for the first time in a while, I grew tired of the reticence. I wanted to hear Larissa speak again.

Scrutinizing the lilypads, I spot familiar purple flowers.

Violets.

Violets are very stunning flowers, and though they may be considered one of the most basic, I find them to be a favorite. Not just because of their appearance and its gorgeous color, but also the various things and meanings they symbolize.

Leaning down, I pick out the most prominently glamorous ones and handed them to Larissa without a word.

She looked at me, her smile widened and her cheeks grew a rosy pink.

“For me?”

I nod and she carefully takes the violets from my hands, her touch abiding a bit before she pulled them away to fully probe and admire the flowers.

Averting my eyes from Larissa, I turn back to the lake and stayed quiet. To my surprise, I feel a soft pair of lips quickly press against my left cheek.

“Thank you,” She uttered, pulling off her glove to wipe off the lipstick mark she left on my cheek. “They’re absolutely gorgeous.”

Larissa then continued to speak about how much she loved the flowers and began to tell me about what her favorite flowers and plants were. Somehow, the subject then drifted to our ways of fashion, then to other random fancies and hobbies we shared, as well as those which contradicted each other. 

The conversations continued during the walk back to our dorms.

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?” She asked, interrupting herself. 

I shake my head.

“Are you hungry? We can stop by the quad and eat. Or pick up food and bring them to your dorm, I can bring Morticia out of bed, and the four of us can eat together.” She suggested. The look in her eyes revealed that she wanted all of us to eat in the comfort of our dorms.

“We can pick up food and eat together.” 

With that, Larissa smiled and took my hand, still holding the violets in the other, eagerly leading us toward the quad.

Upon arriving at my dorm, Lillian practically pounced at Larissa and engulfed her into a tight embrace, repeatedly thanking the both of us for finally bringing food.

I set the containers down on my desk to take out and set up the foldable floor table Lillian bought during her first time going down to Jericho last week. After Lillian was finished bombarding Larissa, they both brought out floor cushions and prepped the food on the table.

“I’ll go and get Morticia and put up these flowers,” Larissa said.

Lillian nodded as she sat down and patted the cushion next to her for me to sit on.

Larissa was taking longer than anticipated and Lillian was growing impatient. She tried to begin eating a couple of times, but a feeble slap to the back of her hand stopped her.

The blonde smirked at me and I know that she had something to say and that she wouldn’t say anything unless I spoke.

“What?” I question in an aggravated voice.

“Where’d Rissa get those flowers, Ria?” Lillian sneered and started poking my shoulder.

“The lake,” I answer, waving her off.

“The lake, huh?” 

I hummed, done with her mindless questions.

Lillian examined me with a skeptical look on her face, squinting her eyes.

“Uh-huh, okay.” She muttered in an unconvinced tone.

When the other two finally arrive, Morticia walks in with a frown on her face and Larissa rolls her eyes at the raven.

“What’s wrong with you?” Lillian asked with a chuckle and lifted an eyebrow.

Morticia grimly sat down on the opposite side of the table, in front of Lillian.

“I wouldn’t let her read another chapter before coming to eat,” Larissa answered for her, looking a tad annoyed with her roommate’s childish acts.

“I was getting to the best part, Rissa!” Morticia disputed.

Larissa shot her a glare which had Lillian laughing at the sight of the two.

“Why don’t we just eat,” I suggest.

It’s too early in the morning to start any asinine bickering.

Lillian desirously nodded, and the obverse duo in front of us wordlessly agree.

With the werewolf stuffing her face, and the quarreling roommates in front of me, the four of us dined in silence. Well, that was until, Lillian gulped down her food and began to converse, attempting to ease the slight tension in the atmosphere.

“Don’t be upset, Tish. Rissa and Ria brought you your favorite tea!” She grinned.

Morticia slightly nodded and sighed.

“Thank you, Aria,” Morticia softly bumped Larissa’s arm with hers. “Rissa.”

“Mhm,” I murmur in response, looking at Larissa to see her reaction to Morticia’s attempt to smooth things over.

Larissa glanced up at me before she turned her head to Morticia who gave her an apologetic smile. The shape-shifter’s gaze softened and returned to the raven’s smile.

“Of course, Tish.”

For a moment, I look back and forth between the two before going back to my breakfast and coffee. Failing to notice, Lillian stares at me with concern in her expression, eyebrows slightly furrowing. She gently elbows my arm and finally catches my attention.

What?

‘Are you okay?’

Yes, I’m alright.

‘Mhm…’

Our muted conversation and facial expressions bring confusion upon the girls before us.

“Are you two alright?” Morticia asked with a small chuckle.

“Yep,” Lillian grinned. 

Before any more discussion could go on, there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” I call out with no interest to see who it was.

The door opens and reveals a smiling dorm advisor.

“Hello, girls!” She greeted.

“Hi, Ms. Caddel!” Both blondes voice in unison.

“Just the two I was looking for!”

“You need Lillian and Larissa?” Morticia asked.

“Mhm. They talked to me about a particular animal they would love to see and to our luck, I found a family of them near the lake. I’d love to take you, ladies, there if you want to see them.”

Lillian and Larissa excitedly smile at each other. They get up and rush to the equally enthusiastic woman.

“Will you two care to join?” Ms. Caddel was invited.

I look to Morticia who gave a shrug and I turn back to the three at the door.

I do love animals, but I’m not in much of the mood to go on another hike and listen to Lillian and Larissa ramble about how cute they are.

“We’re good.” I proclaim.

“Are you sure?” Ms. Caddel queries.

“Yes,”

“Will you two be alright here, alone?” Larissa questions.

“Yes, Rissa, we’ll be fine,” Morticia reassures.

“Alright, well, we may take a little while, and if we finish after lunch ends, I’ll go into town and pick up some food for you girls. I know you four like to eat together. We’ll be back soon!” Ms. Caddel promises.

The three left and Morticia and I finished our breakfast without any conversation.

After Morticia finished, she gave me a smile and had a familiar playful look in her eyes. Before I could question her next move, Morticia gets up and pulls me up from the floor and out of the room, making sure to close the door behind us.

“Morticia,” I began to object before she starts to trot to wherever she had planned on going.

I stayed quiet when I realize she was heading to her and Larissa’s dorm. When we got there, she sat me down on her bed and closed the door. Examining the room, I spot the violets I’d given Larissa, resting in a purple-tinted glass vase. It sat on her desk, bathed in the sunlight emitting from the enormous window which also led to the dorm’s balcony. 

I envy the fact that Larissa and Morticia had a balcony all to themselves. One that they could walk out to at any time. It would be a more than perfect spot for me to play at.

I give Morticia a confused, annoyed, and slightly insulted look from the crossed boundaries and stochastics of what just occurred.

“Don’t look at me like that, Mon Cheri.” She says, picking up the book beside me.

“What the hell was that, Morticia? And will you ever quit with the name?”

The young psychic sits beside me and offers a falsely-innocent smile.

“I just wanted to read my gorgeous love story,” She descended on the bed back and got into a comfortable position. “And no.”

I roll my eyes at her and shuffle to a corner of the bed, laying against the headboard, making myself comfortable.

“Could you at least tell me what Mon Cheri means?” 

“Mm,” She looked up at me from her novel with a perky, inquisitive expression on her face. “Nope.”

“Then, will you tell me why you forcefully dragged me here?”

“I wanted you to come with me.” She said, going back to her narrative of two star-crossed lovers.

“Why?”

She didn’t answer. The only thing Morticia was concentrated on and the only thing she seemingly wanted to focus on was her book.

I throw a pillow at her to regain her attention.

“Hey!” She scoffed.

“Answer my question.”

Instead of giving in, she grabs another pillow and flung it at me. I catch it and I toss it back to her. She started laughing and she hurled yet another pillow at me. 

One bolster after another, we’re both whacking each other with pillows with child-like smiles on our faces. And out of nowhere, she stops and begins tickling me as her legs cradled my hips.

“Morticia! Stop it!” I dictate, suppressing the laughter coming up from my chest.

“Come on, let me hear that pretty laugh of yours, Mon Cheri!” She giggled, still fondling my stomach.

At some point, I could no longer hold it in and my laughter and smile filled the shared room. Then, it was Morticia’s turn.

I maneuver her below me and I start tickling her in the same way she did. Almost immediately, the room was then replenished with the raven’s protests and giggles.

“Okay, okay!” She surrendered.

“Will you answer my question now?” 

She nodded and I get off her, returning to my spot on the bed.

Subsequently, she regained her breath and laid on her stomach, propping herself up with her elbows. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for her riposte. 

“I just wanted you to be here with me.” She muttered.

I exhale, rolling my eyes in disappointment.

“All that just for you to say you only wanted me for my presence?” 

Morticia gives a guiltless smile and shrugged, rolling over to return to her book.

I throw a pillow at her and lay my head against the bedpost.

“I hate you.”

“Whatever you say, Mon Cheri,” The raven cooed, her eyes glued onto the pages of her novel.

The rest of our time together was spent in an enjoyable stillness. Morticia eventually handed me another one of her books to busy myself so I wasn’t just lazing around on her bed. Together, we read our relatively different narratives in tranquillity, spread across the luxurious mattress.

“And what are you two up to?” Lillian questioned as she and Larissa walked into the dorm with a smirk.

“Reading about the riveting love stories of Juliet and Shanna,” Morticia responded dramatically.

“Omg, a woman love woman book?!” Lillian gasped in excitement.

“Two different women in two different books, Lillian.” Morticia sighed and Lillian’s smile morphed into a frown.

Larissa quickly made her way toward her desk and cautiously took out the violets from their vase and laid them down. With her perfectly sculpted hands, she took out a small bag from her pocket and filled the vase with soil, and prepped it for the violets. When she finished, she placed the violets into the watered soil and quickly walked into her bathroom to wash her hands and rid herself of the dirt left over. 

Larissa came back and laid down beside me. The blonde analyzed the book in my hands and I kept my gaze on the endless words on the pages.

“Is that worth the while to read?” She asked, resting her head on her arms.

“I guess so,” I look away from the novel and turn to her. “Did you have fun with Lillian and Caddel?”

She replied with a nod and a tired smile.

“What did you three go to look at anyway?” Morticia questioned, staring up at Lillian who sat next to her.

“A profusely adorable family of beavers.” 

“You were looking at a family of beavers for a little over three hours?” Morticia catechized, a little hypercritically. 

“Absolutely.” 

Morticia let out a small chuckle before resuming her reading. 

“Are you alright Rissa?” Lillian asked with worry washing over her pale features.

Larissa gave a mere hum in response.

“Take a nap, honey,” I say, more so as a demand rather than a request.

Hearing a faint sigh, the taller blonde gets up and slowly makes her way to her own bed which was suited with a muted-yellow and beige comforter set. Lillian followed Larissa and laid down beside her, also tired out from their hike and animal watching.

Heedlessly, soon after Larissa and Lillian had fallen asleep, Morticia fell asleep, and I fell asleep. This mid-day sleepover was unplanned, yet necessary. We were all mutually wearied from this past week.

We woke up two hours before we were meant to start our way to the woods for Lillian’s surprise hang-out situation. So, after fixing ourselves up a bit, we went down to the schoolyard to have lunch with Ms. Caddel. Afterward, we started our way to the woods. 

Morticia, Larissa, and I followed Lillian down a path and into a small clearing. There, she had us wait for a bit as she ran off to ‘pick something up’.

“What if she turns and ends up eating us.” Morticia joked.

“Funny.” I roll my eyes.

Larissa wordlessly sat on top of a fallen tree and stared at the both of us with a certain look that I couldn't make out.

“Are you alright, Rissa?” Morticia asked.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Larissa smiled.

Morticia and I look at each other in disbelief at her statement.

Before any further discussion could be made, there was the faint sound of a motor and wheels running over the forest grass growing closer.

In no time at all, Lillian appeared in front of us, sitting on a Honda ATV four-wheeler, and a big smile reaching from ear to ear plastered on her face. Her bangs and waves frizzed up from the wind.

“Ta-da!” She squealed.

Larissa and Morticia are left with their mouths slightly agape and I look at Lillian with an unamused expression.

“Come on, Ria, I know you like it.” She cooed.

I cross my arms against my chest and stare at her.

“Where the hell did you even get that?” 

“I have my connections,” Lillian raised her eyebrows. “I can only have one other passenger. Who wants to go first?”

Preparatory to any of my dissent against going first, or even at all, Morticia volunteers me.

“Go on, Ria,” She insists, “I have to speak to Larissa, anyways.”

And with that, Lillian hops off and drags me toward the four-wheeler. 

“I do not at all appreciate the number of times I’ve been forced to go places and pulled by my arm today.”

Lillian chuckles and lets go, subsequently lending a hand to help me get up on the all-terrain vehicle. 

Once we’re both on and she ensures that I wrap my arms around her waist, Lillian starts driving the four-wheeler down the previously grazed path. She was going at a relatively slow pace for a bit before speaking.

“I’m gonna go a little faster now,” She says.

She lied. She didn’t go a little faster, she went a lot faster. 

It caught me off guard and the moment we went down a little mound which made my stomach turn, I let out an unwelcomed yelp. No doubt, a yelp that Larissa and Morticia were able to hear. To that, Lillian laughed and went even faster.

“Lillian! I swear to all the heavens on earth, if I hit a tree branch, I’m going to impale you with one!” I warn, unhappy with the brash new speed and close to careless driving.

“Rodger that, princess!” She grinned.

The rebellious blonde continued riding at the same inordinate pace and apologized if her hair ever hit my face. She cheered throughout the excursion and at some point, my mind finally eased into things and I was able to silently enjoy it as well, with an indefinite smile on my face.

The fresh air that the wind carried was relaxing and relieving. For the moment, every ounce of worry or anxiety was blown away and I felt nothing but pure bliss. Despite the fact that my grip tightened around Lillian’s waist as she continued to increase the speed.

Leaning my head back, I take a deep breath and enjoy the rare and indelible present.

When we finally returned, there was an evident hint of tension between Larissa and Morticia, yet we were still welcomed with smiles and excitement to ride.

“We heard a little horrified scream from a certain somebody,” Morticia teased.

“It wasn’t a scream, it was just a diminutive shriek.” I groaned, joining Larissa who sat still on the fallen tree.

“Mhm, whatever you want to believe, my dear.” The raven smirked as she accepted Lillian’s hand and sat on the ATV.

“Have fun!” Larissa smiled, waving them off as Lillian began to drive down her path.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Larissa?” I ask, breaking off the short-lasting silence.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve seemed off, for the past week. Are you okay?” The look on her face makes me question whether I should take my words back.

Larissa lets out a shaky breath and her eyes meet mine.

“I’m just a bit tired, Ria.” Her smile never falters.

She’s lying, and I know that she is. But if she hasn’t already told me what was wrong before, she won’t now, and I’m not going to force her to confess anything. It’s none of my business.

“Alright.”

Another moment of silence fell between us before Larissa spoke up.

“Is it alright if I lean against you?” She asks timidly, fidgeting with her hands.

I think on for a bit, and eventually, I respond with a hum, signaling a yes. Larissa scooted closer to me and gently laid her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for the most part. There were no words that were meant to be shared, and the only things that were heard were the sounds of the woods and the acclamation of Morticia and Lillian. 

I look up at the sky and watch as the sunset slowly faded into the resplendent, early night sky. Larissa might’ve fallen asleep for a bit, but when she awoke she stayed where she was and stared at the forest ground at our feet.

By the time the other two came back, Larissa already sat up straight, excited to finally have her turn.

“I’m surprised Larissa’s excited. If anything, I’d expect you to be into this over Larissa.” Morticia admitted as she took a spot beside me, softly brushing against my shoulder.

Putting forward a smile, I continue to look up at the stars, which are slowly appearing in the dark of the sky, surrounding the glowing moon.

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Morticia whispered.

I hum in agreement, assuming she meant the sky.

In no time, Larissa and Lillian’s outbursts of delight and elation could be heard.

“How’ve you been doing, Mon Cheri?”

“What?” I turn to the moderately agonized raven-haired girl beside me.

“You’ve been so busy lately. Not only with school and the Nightshades, but with volleyball, swimming, band, and art. There’s also the Poe Cup and managing how we’re going about that. It seems as if you haven’t been able to catch much of a break. You seem tired.” 

It’s true. I haven’t been able to catch much of a break since the second week of school, but I hadn’t thought anyone would notice that or how exhausted I was.

But it was Morticia. When it comes to the people she cares for, she knows when something’s not right.

“I’m fine, Morticia. I get my sleep, I drink all the water I need, and I eat all my meals.”

“That doesn’t relinquish the prostration of your mind.”

I have no words for that admission.

Morticia was right. Morticia was almost always right, and I hated that about her. I hated how well she could read anyone, no matter who you are. I hated how she could almost always read me. She wasn’t always successful, but she sure as hell had her moments, and this was one of her moments. 

“I just want to make sure that you’re at least allowing yourself a few moments of peace every once and a while.” Morticia tenderly smiles.

I nod, taciturnly appreciating her solicitude, and look back up at the stars.

The stars.

My gorgeous stars.

They are my peace. They hold my tranquility and my chaos. My stars are what I look up to when I can no longer look at anything or anyone else.

[sweepseven]

Cirque du Soleil Corteo review

What a way to end the year! After two years apart, I managed to fit in seven different Cirque shows in 2022. Seven shows but eight performances, since I was physically compelled to see Kooza twice. That’s a hell of a year under any circumstances, and in a pandemic world it feels all the sweeter.

My final two shows of the year were Drawn To Life, the new Disney resident show, and Corteo, which I haven’t seen since 2018 and was thrilled to see make its post-pan return. Initially I was going to post both reviews at once buuuut as always I have no sense of brevity when it comes to this stuff, it got ridiculously long, so it’ll bet two separate ones after all.

So! Corteo is up first, because it’s easier! Act by act below.

Opening: Oddly there was no animation - the band members came out to wave and chat with the crowd a bit (a deviation from the norm, in my experience - I’d never seen any Cirque band speak outright to an audience), and then the show kicked right off. No wandering characters like in the past, no one reading a book on the edge of the stage, no one lacing their shoes, or otherwise going about their little lives. As soon as the show began in earnest it became clear that the sound was very unbalanced. I suspect the venue was partially at fault (the XL Center in Hartford is rough) and it improved a bit in the second half, but the opening did unfortunately suffer for it. I wonder how immediately clear it was to a first timer that it’s a funeral.

Chandeliers: Maybe not quite a hot take, but a lightly warmed one nevertheless: chandeliers is kinda boring. They make an absolutely beautiful image and they’re an excellent welcome into the nostalgic world of Mauro’s friends and life experiences, but there’s only so much an aerialist can accomplish with all those beads in the way. They did the best they could with their apparatus, but David Repullés’ Volo Volando was a bit disappointing too (more on him later) and that didn’t help.

Trampo beds: Also not my fave act, but the energy is impossible to deny. Not much to say here. It’s kids jumping on the bed and it’s fun and cute! There ya have it.

Cyr wheel: Okay now we’re talking. I am just weak for this act. It’s the first proper look at the labyrinthine pattern on the stage (which I would love to figure out one day, like why is it there, why was it chosen, I love it) and the choreography is a fantastic example of Cirque doing relatively simple things with such immaculate perfection that they might as well be doing the most difficult tricks in the world. You’d still be equally impressed. Every single movement was identical between artists, everyone got a moment to shine, and with all five wheels at once the stage feels suddenly so small and intimate. And Anneaux... god. One of my all time favorite songs. Still not great in David’s hands, but good enough.  

Suspended pole: The crowd lost it for this one, and for good reason. Such incredible control. And the male angels watching the act!! I wish we got more of them throughout the show, but it was still neat to see it. Loved the guitarist’s deft switch from guitar to accordion.

Golf: I adore this little act. Short and sweet, not too clowny, Victorino’s there... what’s not to love.

Marionette: Such a magical moment. I don’t know who our Mauro was, but I do know he’s Colombian thanks to his soccer team choice during this act. I am forever impressed by how the artist manages to disentangle the lines so perfectly every time without ever looking at them.

Hoops: Out! Which was weird because she was there for Klezmer Moment, but we never got the full act. Honestly the first half felt so packed that I didn’t feel her absence even knowing how lovely her act is. There was no replacement act tonight. 

Helium Dance: We pushed Valentyna!! She floated right over to us and it was clear no one else could reach her!! It was a very magical and special moment, up there with other strokes of interaction luck like dancing with Fleur. She gave us a “thank you, madame,” waved her handkerchief, and went on her way. 

Korean plank: I love this act. It’s relentless, it keeps you guessing, it takes risks, and best of all it does so much to flesh out the broader world of the show.

Paradis: Sette Ricordi you beautiful song, you. This act was tight beyond belief. Not a single slip, complete comfort and control from both flyers and catchers, just clean clean clean. 

Juggling: Remains adorable. I can’t remember whether the August Clown always helps out with this act? Either way, he was in there with a little supporting diabolo action on this night and it was very cute. 

Ladder: I love this!! So much!! This act is what Corteo is all about. These simple, heartfelt interactions between strangers that you somehow feel you still know intimately. The little Eiffel Tower robot dogs or whatever tf they are were too cute, such a fun extra touch of magic. The White Clown took something out of his pocket and fed one a little snack. And finally my question of whether the ladder artist dies is answered: I would argue yes. When he reaches the Angel, she gives him a wrist strap and he floats away with her, up and back through the side curtain. She was waiting for him and finally he came. <333

Aerial straps duo: Similar to suspended pole and paradis, just utter technical perfection. The glitter gets me every time. The audience loved it. 

Tournik: I felt it was a little short this time around! Maybe I’m misremembering. But yet again everything was crisp and clean as could be. Honestly I can’t remember the last time I saw such a perfectly executed show, and ending with this just sealed the deal. 

Finale: Mauro leans forward in the final moments, pedaling his bike with purpose and anticipation while his friends and family wave from below. It’s a warm, bittersweet, and encouraging approach to death. Isn’t that exactly how you’d want a loved one to move on? By appreciating his life but anticipating the afterlife enough to leave it behind with purpose and optimistic eagerness? I’m emotional just remembering it. I couldn’t help but cheer the very final “alla-vi-ta!” along with the band. 

Characters: Again, I don’t know who our Mauro was but I know I liked him very much. He was another element that was done a disservice by the unfortunate sound - when you could hear him, he was saying such beautiful things to add color to the characters, setting, and story! But it was intermittent, and anytime there was music or other conversation he was difficult to make out. Same was true for the Whistler, who I think was just on dreadfully low volume the entire night. It left him with little of the command and authority the character usually possesses, and instead he came across as just some guy trying to yell. I was particularly affectionate towards Victorino this time around - he is undoubtedly Mauro’s deepest and truest friend of all. Valentyna and Grigori were fun as ever, though Grigori didn’t have much to do outside of Teatro Intimo, which I am pretty neutral about except for what it adds to the setting and feel of the show. I also very much liked the White Clown this time around - every movement was measured, sharp, and purposeful, but in a warmer way than I’ve seen him in the past. I’ve seen White Clown behave like a manager, like a guide, and now like a facilitator, and I really enjoyed it. It made for a warmer, friendlier White Clown than I’d seen before: not trying to manage the transition from life to death with clinical precision (which I have also quite liked), but rather someone easing a friend from stage to stage of life. He was playful and familiar towards Mauro, who clearly felt similarly: he complimented White Clown’s “costume” and said it reminded him of the moon. A lovely example of the details that make Corteo Corteo. 

Music: I was on the opposite side of the stage from my first viewing, which means I was with the bassist and female singer’s main spot on one side and (I believe) the keyboardist and brass player on the other. Sofia Montaño brings a warmth and accessibility to her role that I very much enjoyed. You feel very welcomed by her performance where other female leads might have felt more ethereal. David Repullés, on the other hand, is perhaps the weakest male baritone I’ve heard in Corteo. I want to give him a certain amount of grace because of the obvious sound issues - how can you fully blame a singer for his volume when it’s totally out of his control? But there were other moments where it was clear his actual vocal quality wasn’t quite what we’ve gotten from other singers. That one long note in El Cielo Sabrá was a notable example of the role being just out of his reach. He was really working for it, but cut it short, and similarly his performance overall seemed to fall a little short. I assume the band was very good, but key moments that are deliberately musically chaotic, such as Nos Dejó, were unfortunately utterly decimated by the sound quality. 

Overall: I loved Corteo, I love Corteo, I will continue to love Corteo. It’s unique and human in the most wonderful way. 

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Boo! 👻 I have a crush on you 🎃🍁

Summary; There's a new tradition at Hawkins. Halloween-themed love notes sent anonymously in a variety of spooky shapes, and messages inside.

This year y/n wants to send one to her crush Eddie Munson certain he's never noticed her before...

Warning; Angst to Fluff, confessions, sweetness. Cute with a spooky theme 🎃🍁

Likes, comments and reblogs are much appreciated. I do not give anyone permission to copy my work.

Happy September everyone ❤ Hope you enjoy this cute Lil story. 🎃🍁

🍁🎃

She didn't think he noticed her, she wasn't a cheerleader or in the school band, in fact she didn't draw that much attention to herself.

Y/n worked on the newspaper with Nancy who was her closest friend in school along with Freddie and liked to keep to herself, she wasn't confident enough to admit her crush to Eddie Munson in person.

However with Autumn's arrival and Halloween very, very soon she planned to tell him anonymously.

The school was doing an event similar to Valentine's day but for Halloween where students sent anonymous cards- love notes with a variety of Halloween puns, phrases and cute sayings.

She had already picked her one for Eddie it was pumpkin orange coloured and had bats on it similar to the ones on his arm with tiny love hearts in between each one.

🦇 I'm Batty For You 🦇 the inscription insode of the card reads and she wrote a small message for him too.

Nerves fill her stomach. As it's getting closer to the cards being handed out at lunch. No one knew she was sending the card except Nancy and it was nerve wracking.

The students sending the cards finally came in looking bored and doling out the cards in a fast manner.

She saw Eddie take his looking at it in disbelief then his features softened and he smiled tracing over the little bats.

Heart racing she makes an excuse to Nancy and moves closer to the Hellfire Club table to see what's being said. Dustin waves at her and she waves back pressing a finger to her lips in a shushing motion.

"Dude? Who do you think sent it!". Mike asks trying to peer over at it as Eddie snatches it away annoyed.

Gareth smirks smugly.

"Bet we know who he wished sent it... His dream girl Chrissy". He teases and y/n stops still her heart slowly tearing.

Chrissy. Of course, he would want it to be Chrissy. The pretty, popular queen of Hawkins high.

Chrissy was his dream girl and he would be so disappointed knowing that y/n had sent it instead.

Hiding her tears she rushes out of the cafeteria just as one of the students delivering the notes drops one down on where her usual seat is with Nancy...

Eddie scowls listening to Jeff and Gareth teasing him about Chrissy.

"Shut up dude, the crush was in middle school, I'm not interested in her anymore. I like someone else".

For some reason, the news shocks the others and he rolls his eyes. Heart warming as he reads the words written.

🦇 I'm Batty for You 🦇

I notice you every day but I've always been too shy to tell you about my crush❤ I hope this makes you smile Eddie and just know that I think you're amazing.

Love your admirer.

He wants it so badly to be y/n because he had written one for her too. Eddie was never one to get sucked into cheesy shit like this but it was Halloween, hopefully, his Final senior year and he had to tell y/n how she felt.

She was beautiful, so pretty and kind, sweet. He always noticed her and adored her beautiful smile, pretty eyes and endless kindness.

Never once in their interactions though very brief did she ever treat him like a freak. So yeah, his cynical heart softened in her presence and he fell for her.

Come to think of it where was she? Wasn't she just at her lunch table with Nancy and the other students who worked on the newspaper?

The note he sent her hasn't been touched and he frowns in disappointment. She hadn't seen it. Where was she?

Dustin followed his gaze.

"Oh, y/n came to talk to us but I think something spooked her Eddie, she left when those two mentioned Chrissy".

Eddie's heart sinks. Did she hear what those dumbass friends of his said? Jesus H Christ, he glares at them and Gareth gets a look of dawning realisation on his features.

"Oh. You like y/n".

"Yeah, no fucking shit Sherlock". He gets up rushing to the table with Nancy, Fred and a few others and snatches the card before they can say anything as he rushes out to find her.

She heads deep into the woods. It was quiet and peaceful here which meant she could cry in peace here and let out all her emotions.

Of course, Eddie liked Chrissy she was so stupid.

Suddenly she's brought out of her reverie by Eddie himself crashing through the trees and skidding to a stop beside her catching himself on the wooden bench.

"Eddie?". He's clutching her note in his hands and smiles at her.

"Hey, sweetheart, been running around looking for you. Wanted to ask you something".

Shit, did he figure out the card was from her and was here to turn her down gently.

"Eddie, look I know you like Chrissy and don't feel the same, Chrissy is your dream girl and it's fine I..." He kneels down in front of her and fishes another note from his jeans.

"Open it. It's for you princess". Heart racing she takes it and opens the envelope revealing a light pink card with a cute little ghost on it.

Boo! I have a crush on you 👻

Oh my god oh my god she feels her breath hitch and happiness fills her.

She reads the words inside.

Hey princess, usually I don't care for stuff like this but it's Halloween themed and that's fucking metal right?

I've been falling for you for a while now sweetheart and I want you to be mine.

From the Metalhead who's crazy for boo.

Ps. Jesus H Christ that was corny as shit huh? Be mine princess. ❤

Beaming she looks up at Eddie who strokes her cheek.

"I loved your card sweetheart and I want you. Definitely not Chrissy, I haven't liked her like that in years. You're the one for me".

Feeling a whole lot happier she leans forward at the same time he does and they kiss.

It's magic and they both come apart with goofy grins on their faces.

"Yes, I'll be yours, Eddie". He presses a kiss to her forehead and together they head back to the school hands entwined.

[yoonpobs]

love language | myg

pairing: min yoongi x oc

genre: FLUFF, that's it

warnings: this is just so cute and self-indulgent lol

words: 5, 123

summary: how min yoongi loves you

“You know there isn’t a point in inviting me out for brunch to only sigh and stab your overpriced meal with a fork right? I already see you enough on a daily basis and I think I’m exceeding my _____ quota for the month.” Jimin says dryly.

Usually, you’d quip back with an equally brute remark of your own but there’s something far heavier lingering at the back of your mind. A territory you weren’t quite sure how to navigate and vocalise. Jimin picks up on your silence and stamps it as odd behaviour because you were far more … hands-on when it came to your retorts but today you’re dead quiet.

Jimin leans forward on his elbows to give you a concerned look when you still silently assault your meal with the fork in your grip.

“… is this even _____?”

You look up and your expression is unimpressed. Jimin raises his arms up in defense before retreating to the comfort of his plush sofa chair—a product of allowing him to choose the venue for your dire brunch that and the cost was your empty wallet and every last bit of your mental health.

“What do you think of Yoongi?”

The question throws Jimin off not because he has no idea who that is—but because you were shy and timid. A soft-spoken person by nature that liked keeping to yourself and that was a huge juxtaposition in terms of your friendship with Jimin because he was everything you were not. He was loud, the biggest person in every room, and the person that everyone knew on campus.

Your friendship was an unlikely occurrence even for your lecturers when they’d glance at you from the hallways or when your peers would eye you oddly when they’d see Jimin partaking in every extra-curricular there was available and while you chose to do your own thing, far away from the action and where you were safely kept in your own bubble.

Jimin is surprised because you were already very private, and as your best friend, he didn’t take any offense to that when you didn’t share matters of your life with him. He already overcompensated for the fact that all he did was talk about his personal life—which you didn’t mind either. It was a healthy balance and a give and take that the two of you found a pattern with.

So for you to bring up the name of your boyfriend—which Jimin only knew because he caught a glimpse of a name with a heart and a text with the word ‘date’ attached to it—was definitely out of character.

“Yeah. This definitely isn’t _____,” Jimin says, “I’d like her back, please. I need someone to have no backbone so I can trample on her without her ever complaining.”

You glare at him even harder and stab the lettuce on your plate harder.

“You know what? Forget it …” You mutter, pushing your plate away from you.

Jimin levels you with a wry look and reaches his hand out to stop you from being overdramatic with your actions. Since you weren’t the best with words, you naturally compensated for being a little excessive with your actions in hopes for other people to be able to pick up on your hints. And as your best friend—Jimin knew that you were bottling something inside and wanted him to pry.

“You know this trick isn’t going to work on me, right?” Jimin points out, “And as much as I call myself the self-proclaimed genius between the two of us I can’t read minds so you’re going to need to elaborate on what you mean by ‘what do I think of Yoongi’.”

You scowl and fiddle with your fingers when Jimin gives you a look that tells you that you should speak up or forget about it. Sometimes you hated the fact that Jimin was confident and assured of himself, never avoiding confrontation while all you did was dodge it. Another reason why your friendship was unlikely but somewhat necessary.

“As my friend … what do you think of Yoongi—” You mumble, “—for me.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow at your soft tone.

“For … you?” He parrots your question back.

Your ears burn and you feel stupid enough asking Jimin about his opinion on Yoongi when you already felt flustered even mentioning his name to anyone that wasn’t yourself.

“Jimin …” You whine.

“Don’t Jimin me,” He snaps, “You know my hearing is bad.”

You roll your eyes and cast your eyes downwards to your abandoned plate as you pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you’ve picked up from Yoongi. Though you can’t really say that you picked it up from him since it was also a nervous routine of yours but knowing that Yoongi shared that in a different way made it feel like you got it from him.

Jimin sighs.

He wasn’t being harsh on you—in fact, this was him encouraging you to open up because while he was all hard and edges, and possibly overbearing at times; he respected you and loved you as a friend. You were never mean, rude or disrespectful and even if the two of you were fundamentally different in nature, you co-existed peacefully and were able to share little things in common that made the interactions between the two of you fruitful.

And he knew that speaking of your relationship with Yoongi was hard not because he was treating you horribly (at least he hopes so) but because you had the tendency of solving all your problems yourself. Even ones that were far out of your range of capability, and as someone who has received an abundance of help and advice from someone as soft-spoke as you—he wanted to be able to reciprocate somehow.

“Are the two of you okay?” Jimin asks.

You nod your head.

“We are … I just—well …” You mumble, “I just want your opinion.”

Jimin raises his eyebrow because he didn’t want you to feel like he needed his approval for you to date Yoongi. He trusted you and knew that you were smart enough to let the people you felt the same way about in.

“Babe, you don’t need my opinion. You’re the one in the relationship with him and as long he’s not being manipulative, abusive or an unwarranted jackass then I have no right to interfere in your relationship.” Jimin frowns.

You sigh.

“No, no … it’s not like that,” You shake your head, “I just wanted to know what you think of him … as a person.”

Your request is odd for multiple reasons, but mostly because of the timing because it seemed like a question you’d pose before the two of you made it official but this question came eight months into the relationship.

“I don’t think I can give you an answer _____. My interactions are limited with Yoongi as it is and I can’t give you an objective answer without sounding like a complete asshole if I judge him based on the way he looks.”

“Why would you sound like an asshole?” You furrow your brows.

Jimin shoots you a deadpan.

“Min Yoongi is the poster boy of the average college girl’s wet dream and he checks all the boxes of fitting all the stereotypes of a brooding, mysterious jock with a secret that he hides only for a girl to swing into his life and change his outlook completely. He’s quiet—quieter than you—and downright intimidating. It doesn’t help that you don’t want me hanging out with him just yet—which I totally respect by the way—so that just adds to his aloof aura.”

You blink at Jimin.

The description of Yoongi based on his outward appearance is … apt. But not what you were looking for. You knew that when you first saw Yoongi at band practices was when you first decided that you were scared of good-looking people. Albeit Jimin was also insanely attractive but he had an atmosphere around him that made people feel comfortable. Not that Yoongi actively made people uncomfortable … but he radiated major celebrity vibes that it was intimidating to get close to him.

Until small talks happened to shared giggles and him eventually asking you out informally, a context outside of your band practices that you saw glimpses of Yoongi that no one else did. He was soft, understanding, and though a little bad at expressing how he feels … but he was Yoongi and you liked him.

You might even love him, but there are times where you’re hesitant about your relationship.

“I think I love him.” You squeak.

Jimin’s eyes widen, another surprise for him for the day because you’ve just ignored his very superficial description of your boyfriend, which he half-expected you to be mad at. But for you to say that you thought you were in love with him was just a reaction he was not expecting at all.

“You—okay?” Jimin scrunches his eyebrows, “I’m happy for you, I really am! But … that doesn’t explain why you need my opinion?”

You breathe out and will yourself to look at Jimin’s face, even with the burn of your cheeks.

“You’re my … best friend, Jimin.” You say softly.

Jimin’s eyes ease on your timid features before he reaches out a comforting hand to grab onto your own, nudging you to look into his eyes. Even though Jimin was outgoing as it is, the reason why you stayed friends was that he took the time to understand you and adapt to you even when he didn’t need to. He knew that you were just shy and he never berated you for it, which is why you wanted him to know how you felt—because what he thought was important too.

“_____, love,” Jimin whispers, and you offer a weak smile, “I’m happy for you. Truly. Being in love is a beautiful feeling and I don’t need to be in love with a person to tell you that because love exists everywhere. It exists in the small things that make you smile or giggle when you come across it, and it exists in the way you do the things you adore and achieve your goals. But you don’t need me—or anyone’s—validation to love Yoongi. Love is so personal and so collective at the same time but it’s yours.”

You swallow and hope that you don’t cry in the middle of this posh and overpriced place, and it’s partially because Jimin sounded so earnest when he was talking to you but also because of the ruminating thoughts that plague your mind that made you suggest this brunch in the first place.

“I think I’m in love with him and he doesn’t feel the same.” You sniffle.

Jimin’s grip on your hand tightens momentarily along with his jaw, but he doesn’t want to act irrationally just yet.

“Why do you say that?” He asks tenderly.

You sniff and the tip of your nose turns red and Jimin wants to pat you on the head to comfort you, but the two of you are in public and he knew you hated being vulnerable in general—especially in the public eye.

“It’s just—it’s just—” You stutter, “You know how shy I am and how hard it is for me to … ask for things …”

When he hears your soft tone as your eyes dart away from his face, possibly embarrassed, he rubs a soothing thumb across your knuckles and listens to you intently.

“But I really try with Yoongi … because I want him to know how much I-I like him,” You whisper, “And every time I tell him how much I like him he just … he just smiles and looks away. Like he doesn’t—doesn’t feel the same.”

Jimin absorbs your words before he smiles softly at you. He understood how difficult it must’ve been for you because this was your first official relationship with someone who looked very closed off, to begin with, but based on your very short and rapt descriptions from time to time, Jimin could say that Yoongi wasn’t a bad person.

“Have you considered that he shows his love a different way?” Jimin asks.

You look up at him confused.

“Huh?”

Jimin chuckles before offering you a small tissue, and you meekly accepted it as you dab at your waterline.

“We all have different ways of giving and receiving love, _____.” He tells you, “No person loves the same and no one feels the same type of love. We are all different because that’s in our nature. And like I said—I don’t know Yoongi well enough to say that he has a specific type of love language but if he’s stuck around for this long … it has to mean something, right?”

Your brunch with Jimin leaves you with something else to think about.

Perhaps you were a little shallow—narrow-minded if you will. But you trusted Jimin, and you decided to see what he meant. You knew that you didn’t have the stereotypical love of shows or movies because while it did depict some form of reality, it was heavily sensationalised and exaggerated. But you never considered that Yoongi had a way of his own, one that was personal and unique to him.

Yoongi never made you feel like you weren’t enough. But the lack of the words that sit on your tongue also made you feel like he didn’t feel the same. It was never what he did, but how you felt. It was irrational, but he was objectively a very attractive person. In more ways than how he looked but the way, he treated others.

He’s mellow and gentle. Words never harsh but sharp enough to make people think. He’s efficient and kind when he wants to be and you see the way he treats his friends and staff at restaurants, even if he’s a little quiet too. The two of you were somewhat similar, but you felt so much for him that you somehow overlooked that one part—that maybe he was quiet in the way he loved too.

But you didn’t want to get your hopes up because while you weren’t … horrible. You weren’t anything spectacular either. You did decently in school, had a decent friend group that mainly consisted of you, Jimin and his other best friend, Taehyung—who told you that you were as much of his best friend like you were Jimin’s—and your bandmates that you shared with Yoongi.

Yoongi was quiet but collateral. He excelled in school, topped his classes two terms in a row, and produced impeccable music on the side. He was charismatic when he had to be an extremely introspective that you sometimes felt lacking when you hear him speak about the world and people.

Maybe that’s why he just smiles and looks away because Yoongi is too kind to break your heart, and his eyes tell the truth.

Maybe that’s why he doesn’t—

“______?” Yoongi calls your name and snaps you out of your daydream.

“Huh?” You respond dazedly and he just smiles at you, gentle as always before he nudges your shoulder slightly forward to place a—pillow?—in between your back and the chair that you were sitting on in his apartment.

“I’ve read somewhere that this helps with your posture.” He tells you, “You said you were having lower back pains so this may help.”

You blink at him and then at your assignments sprawled on his dining table, before turning your head to spot the pillow that you remember gifting him as a small present months back, behind your back, and in between you and the chair. The tension in your lower back does feel alleviated, and you turn back to Yoongi to offer him a gentle smile.

“Thank you, Yoongi.” You say softly.

He smiles at you and the simple gesture makes your stomach flutter with butterflies and your heartbeat a little faster. It’s crazy that the simplest of acts could turn you into mush and that he’s had your heart captive. The word sits on your tongue but fear wins over again.

He brushes stray hands of hair that falls by the side of your face, away, before gathering it with his hand at the back of your neck and tying it with a rubber band that you remember leaving at his place a while back.

“How can you see with your hair in the way?” He scolds, but it’s light.

You scoff, giving him a glare but it’s playful too. It does feel better like you have a clearer vision of the work that you were doing.

“Don’t be mean …” You mumble.

Yoongi laughs and it’s your favourite sound after the bell of your favourite bakery.

You like this look on him, eyes crinkled and mouth open in a gummy grin that you were the cause of. The will to say the word becomes harder, the way he leans in to peck you on the lips makes your mouth move on its own accord.

So before you can justify your actions, you say—

“I love you.”

The words are out and it seems to linger in the air because of the silence. You’re mortified, one because you had just blurted it out in the most unromantic setting ever, but secondly, because Yoongi is just … looking at you again. Like he always does when you tell him how much you like him—a soft smile, but this time his eyes are trained on yours.

The fire on your cheeks feels all the hotter when you know there’s nowhere to hide, or no way to retract your words because you didn’t want to. You loved him—and his silence only solidifies your guesses on the unrequitedness of your love.

“I-I’m sorry!” You yelp, covering your face with your hands, “I-I didn’t—I know that you—I didn’t mean to say that!”

Yoongi continues to look at you and he’s inching closer to you until your locked against your chair, his arms resting around your back as his other elbow leans on the table when he brings his face closer to yours.

“You love me?” He whispers and his breath is on your lips.

Even as you’re overcome with the fact that you do indeed love him, and that he doesn’t feel the same. You can’t bring yourself to deny it, not when your heart has always been for him and your words a reflection of your own heart.

“Y-Yes,” You mumble, eyes looking away, “I’m sorry …”

Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and pulls away from you. The warmth of his body suddenly gone and it reminds you that you may have overstepped. That he realised that you were in too deep and couldn’t just leave you. It scared you, but the silence scares you more.

“Why are you apologising?”

You gulp, looking away but Yoongi nudges your chin to look at him gently. His eyes are still confused, but kind. The look that usually comforts you only makes anxiety settle in the pit of your belly.

“I know you don’t feel the same … it’s okay. I understand. I’m a little … hard to love … I know. B-But it’s okay. You don’t need to say it—at all. I can … I can deal with it. Just please don’t leave me.” You whimper.

Yoongi pulls away completely as if he’s been scathed. You don’t have anything else to say but you’re appalled to find your vision getting blurry and the lump in your throat getting unbearable. But you try not to cry, especially when Yoongi looks torn.

But he doesn’t do what you’re expecting and tells you that it’s over, but instead, he returns into your space, making you forget about your embarrassment and cups your cheeks ever so gently while looking at you with ardent eyes.

“Please don’t cry …” He whispers.

And you hate that you do. You cry because he’s holding you so gently and his hands feel warm against your cheek. You cry because you love him and he doesn’t feel the same. You cry because all your cards are out on the table and he’s seen it all.

“I-I’m sorry.” You choke.

Yoongi’s eyes soften before he leans in, pressing a gentle press onto your lips that has your tears in the way as a barrier. You’re still choking on your sobs but his kiss feels comforting and painful at the same time. You want to push him away but you’re selfish—you love him and the feeling of him holding you close like he may feel the same.

When he pulls away, he looks at you again with a gentle, yet intense gaze.

“You’re not hard to love,” He murmurs, “It was so easy falling in love with you because you’re my person. You’re the person that I look forward to seeing every day and the person that I think about the most. Please don’t ever say that you’re hard to love because falling in love with you was the easiest thing that I’ve done in my entire life.”

Your eyes widen, especially when he looks you directly in your own. Your eyes are a little puffy and you’re sure it’s an unattractive sight.

But Yoongi thinks you’re beautiful. He always does. He thinks you’re beautiful when you see him after your classes. He thinks you’re beautiful when you broke the plate you wanted to give his mother as a gift. He thinks you’re beautiful when you’ve just woken up and he thinks you’re beautiful when you’re laughing with his friends and your bandmates.

“I—I—you … you love … me?” You rasp.

Yoongi still has a soft hold on your cheeks, and he feels the wetness of your tears stain his hands but he’s unbothered. He’s more bothered about what you said. The way his heart clenches makes him feel like he’s not done enough. That he could do better to never be the reason for the sadness along with your tears.

“I love you. I do. So much.” He whispers, “You’ve made me feel the kind love that I never thought existed.”

You sob harder and you feel a little pathetic crying in his arms because … how could you have doubted him? You feel relieved and happy, and a little frustrated because you were insecure on your own terms. Even now that you know he loves you—you’re sceptical because he’s Yoongi and you’re you.

Yoongi tugs you into his arms and caresses you with the warmth of his hold, hand patting your head gently. He feels mellow and close while he allows you to cry a little longer. The silence isn’t suffocating anymore, but your mind runs wild with insecurities that you can’t help but—

“Do you really love me?” You ask softly.

Yoongi doesn’t let you go, but you feel him nod and hum against your head.

“I do.”

You nibble on your lips and clutch his t-shirt.

“Then w-why … why do you just smile and look away when I tell you how much I like you?”

Yoongi stays silent for a while, but you don’t take it as a bad sign. Even with your small arguments with him from time-to-time throughout the eight months you’ve been together, Yoongi has never once raised his voice at you or acted irrationally. In fact, he’s always stayed a little quiet for a while, as if he was thinking of the appropriate way to handle the situation before he spoke.

It only made you love him more.

“I’m sorry.” He apologises, and you feel like shit when you realise you made him apologise to you for no reason but he continues before you can pull away—grip tight around your relaxed figure.

“I’ve been in love with you for months,” His confession makes you gasp, the time that he’s mentioned only makes you a lot more confused, “I … this is the first time I’ve felt this way.”

You stay silent as Yoongi rubs gentle figures on your back, breathing into your hair as you rest your cheek on his chest.

“I’ve always been a little … quiet.” He tells you, “And maybe that’s why I felt so drawn to you because we were so similar. I saw you and thought that you were a beautiful person. That your kindness wasn’t empty promises but actions and your smiles weren’t forced but comforting.”

You feel your eyes water again because of Yoongi’s truthful words. Damn your boyfriend for being able to wax poetic.

“I’ve always found it hard to express things with words, despite writing songs like people eat their meals. My mom always told me that I was a doer rather than a sayer.” He jokes, and you find yourself giggling a little when you think of Yoongi’s mother.

A strong woman, her tongue was as sharp as her sons and you definitely see where he gets his wisdom from. She was louder spoken, confident—and yet she was gentle and kind. A person that drew people in.

“I do things for you because I love you, ______. I love you in a way that can last forever because I want it to. I want to love you in a way that you’ll remember and always think of me when you see the physical pieces left by the footprints of my affection.”

It should’ve been cheesy but Yoongi has a way with words to make you blush and your heart flutter.

His words register in you, and you feel blind to not have seen it the entire time.

Even before this, when he placed the pillow behind you to support your lower back—or when he tied your hair back so you could focus better. Or the time when he drove all the way from his hometown back to campus because you were performing a solo piece for band, then drove back to see his parents.

You remember the song he wrote to you for your birthday, accompanied by a book that you’ve put on your Wishlist for months. The memory of his gentle hands removing the face mask from your face when you’ve fallen asleep and tucking you into his bed pricks your mind.

Looking back—you remember feeling absolutely loved and adored. Even if you didn’t explicitly think of the word ‘love’—but you felt safe, comforted and accepted. And you realise that love isn’t one-dimensional. Love is everything that makes you feel complete.

When you look up at him, he’s still offering you the same gentle smile he does when you told him how much you liked him—to when you said you loved him. He still looks the same, smiles the same, and feels the same. It’s you.

“I’m sorry.” You wail.

His eyes widen but you don’t cry. You feel dumb, blind almost because he’s been nothing but loving towards you but it was you who had your doubts.

“Baby, please don’t apologise.” He runs a thumb across your cheek.

“I just—I can’t believe I accused you of not loving me when all you’ve been doing is—when all you’ve done is treat me amazingly. I feel so … stupid.” You groan.

Yoongi smiles at you and rubs his thumb in between your furrowed brows.

“You’ll get wrinkles if you frown all the time.” He tuts.

You glare at him through puffy eyes but hold on to him tighter.

“I really am sorry.” You mumble.

Yoongi hums.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve been more—explicit.”

You frown, pulling away.

“No Yoongi.” You say, “You loved me in your own way and I felt every bit of it. I just conflated the need of being reassured with words and being reassured in your gestures. I shouldn’t have doubted you and projected my insecurities onto you.”

"And it's not your fault for feeling insecure. I'm your boyfriend and I want to be able to reassure you in every way I possibly can. If you need to hear an I love you I'll shout it on top of the highest roof I can find—if you want to be held then I'll hold you and never let go."

Your heart flutters and you bask in his gentle words.

Yoongi wraps a gentle hand around the nape of your neck before bringing you closer, lips hovering right above your own before he closes the distance. His lips are warm and soft, and he doesn’t rush the kiss as if he was dealing with porcelain glass. But he knew you weren’t fragile and easily broken—but he still knew that you were someone that he wanted to care for, for a long time.

He kisses you and it feels right. It feels like you were returning home after months away.

When he pulls away ever so slightly to look into your eyes, breath still fanning on your lips—you feel welcomed.

“When I think of love I think of you. When I think of happiness your face appears in my mind. And when I think fo you, I think of what I can do to make the environment we have a little better for you. I love you, _____. And I’ll spend as long as I can reminding you.”

“Yoongi …” You blush because you didn’t know how romantic he could be when he wanted to.

“I’m serious, _____.” He looks at you seriously, “You know what my mom said when I brought you over?”

You raise an eyebrow because while you remember the meeting being absolutely pleasant, even if you did fumble and break the gift you brought. His mother only smiled at you, the same one that marks her son's face—and said that it was okay. It only meant that you should come again to compensate. Her tone was light and comfortable, and you immediately felt the tension be alleviated from your shoulders.

He takes the tilt of your head as his cue to continue.

“She said that she’s never seen me as expressive as I was when I was with you,” You snort at his exasperation, but you see the honesty that pours out, “Hyung even said that I’ve gotten soft.”

You roll your eyes when he tugs you closer by your chair until your legs were dangling by the side of his hips. Your arms are wrapped around his shoulders and Yoongi still smiles at you like it’s the most natural thing to do.

“But I like you soft …” You smile.

“And I love you with me.” Yoongi returns.

You blush, and you allow him to hold you close.

And in his arms, do you realise that some things didn’t need to be said.

[ellsbclls]

you write hurt/comfort so beautifully, it makes me want to have tom comfort me like that ): do u think you could write something where he's taking care of you after a long day at work?? and if it's a little nsfw i wouldn't mind but u dont have to do anything ur not comfortable with. again L O V E ur work!!

thank you so much 🥺 i guess i just try to portray a type of love i think everyone deserves! but also thank you for giving me this idea because my mind went rampant. i also don’t know why the reader is a musician, but just roll with it i guess idk what happened there??? 

i hope this tickles your fancy! nsfw, so extended warnings will be under the cut! please do not interact if you're a minor!!

extended warnings: cue fingering, and some messy, needy sex in the bathtub 🛁✨

The steam rising from the bathtub makes light work of your weary muscles, menthol vapors kissing up your spine, soothing the knots scattered across the length of your back. You were in dire need of this, after the plight of a day you’d endured. A couple of hours in the studio had quickly spiraled into a six hour-session, with nothing to show for it but a lousy sixteen measures of brass ensembles — and by the good grace of your talent and patience, the artist has requested you drop in for their session again.

The thought makes you want to drown.

Instead, you opt to curl into yourself, softly pressing your cheek into your knee, watching the spindles of warmth waft up from your well earned bubble bath. In retrospect, the weight of your day didn’t fall solely on this new client — if you’re being honest, they actually had a lot of potential. You wouldn’t mind having your name tethered to a couple of their hits — but Tom had just returned home from a three month long shoot, and you’ve only been graced the luxury of his presence for less than 24 hours. Any time that isn’t being spent with him feels blasphemous, but since he has yet to return from his unknown whereabouts, you seized the opportunity to flush out as much irritability as possible before he returned.

You didn’t know just how tired you were until you were woken up.

A half an hour passes before you’re tousled from your dreamless slumber by a docile touch, familiar digits scaling the curve of your spine before they take a detour at the nape of your neck, carefully parting stray strands of hair to either side of your frame.

“Tom?” You hum, dulcet tones wafting through the steam akin to a dream as it ebbs from the rim of your subconscious.

“Yes, darling?” He muses, entranced by the frothy remnants of your bath soak as he dips his fingertips into the water.

“I missed you today.” You melt into his touch, allowing your head to fall to the side and survey his attire. His hair is all tousled, chestnut locks sprouting from the bottom of his backwards strewn baseball cap, and those honey-dipped hues you adore so much are creased with concern. You want nothing more than to soothe them away with the pad of your thumb, and so you indulge yourself, reaching over the edge of the tub as you continue to ramble. “I started the day already praying for it to be over with, and somehow, every single inconvenience fathomable decided to fall onto my lap. I mean — who the fuck needs seven different french horn tracks in an overture? A real band barely needs one.” Tom’s nodding along to your ramblings, but you both know that he doesn’t fully under the lengths of your frustration — just as you’ll never truly understand the inner workings of his own career. “The only thing keeping me together was the thought of coming home to you.”

“I’m so sorry, my love,” He coos, and continues to caress your back, working out all of the knots that the steam couldn’t relieve. “If it’s any consolation, I was only running late because I had to stop and buy some pancetta on the way home.”

“Don’t apologize. I assumed you would be back since all your stuff is still here.” You tease, mirroring his bemused smile, letting his world seep into your slowly booting brain. “Pancetta…” Not many people knew this, not even Tom before his first attempt, but the boy could whip up a mean bowl of pasta. You remember floundering across the bed the night before, identical to a little kid throwing a tantrum, moaning over just how badly you were craving carbonara. Silly of you to think that he’d take your melodramatic request in stride. “Are you-“

His enamored gaze is answer enough, but he pairs it with a chaste kiss to your forehead that has you nuzzling into his touch. “Only the best for my lil’ lady.”

You show a mere fraction of your appreciation with a swift, flurry of kisses over his cheekbones, pulling him closer by the downy bundles of his hoodie. Lovedrunk giggles and contented sighs bounce off the tiles before you’re both submerged in a comfortable silence, one that leaves the both of you free to shamelessly examine the other, one clad in their comfy, weatherworn disguise while the other dawns nothing but an enchanted smile. Even with the disparity between your attire, you both end up with flushed cheeks and dopey grins.

Hours, days, years seem to press on until you break the silence with a silly question, one that you ask in hopes of hearing his gentle, candied voice once more — or even better, his laugh. “What would you do if I was as big as a thumbtack? Would you still love me?” You query, a childlike sense of wonderment tinting your sugar-coated sigh.

He takes a second to ponder your questions, taking it into far more consideration than you had in bringing it to fruition. You can’t stifle the tiny puff of air that leaves your lips, the semblance of a chuckle, and Tom, with his wild brow and theatrical ways, whips his head in your direction, sending you a cautionary glare. “I suppose I would…” He starts, only to tap his finger against his bottom lip, drawing the suspense to its boiling point by the time you shove his forearm. “But then again, it doesn’t matter what size you are, there’s no limit to how much I love you.”

“Hmm,” you manage to vocalize. Your heart is now a star, an incandescent ball of fire caged beneath your ribs, and if he hasn’t gathered it by now, then he can bask in the warmth of your smile and know that for him, for him it is the sun.

You have to admit that you got ahead of yourself. One moment, you were binding your lips in a bruising, indulgent union, urging him to bask in the lovelorn rays of light he summoned, but only managing to pull him into the bathtub, fully clothed and unsuspecting. What was once your lukewarm oasis is suddenly a swirling cauldron of spearmint, teatree, and now unmistakable notes of him, sloshing against the edge of the tub as his frame struggles against the latent tide. There’s bound to be one hell of a mess waiting on the bathroom floor, but now that he’s settled in your grasp, you see no reason to fret just yet.

“Y/N.” His voice is deadpan, which can mean one of two things — he’s either overwhelmed with joy, or exhibiting a great deal of restraint in not drowning you right then and there. You choose to cancel out the latter, and offer the best attempt at innocence your babydoll eyes could muster, peering at him through your lashes with a teeth-rotting gleam.

“What?” You ask simply. His eye starts to twitch, and you only double down on your facade. “I just wanted to be closer to you.” Wading through the newly shallow body of water, half of its contents now dispersed across the tile floor, you make light work of his soggy hoodie, sloughing it over his head as he grumbles beneath it, giggling when it catches against that razor-sharp jawline of his.

“Well, you are very close now.” You notice how his voice drops down an octave, and you’re embarrassed to admit just how quickly the coil in your stomach tightens at the sound of it, how it already aches to be pulled taut. 

Tom seems unsuspecting enough when he captures your lips once again, his brims as delicate as baby’s breath against your own, tentative as they glide in a sultry dance. He doesn’t need to coax a confession out of you, the truth is already there, nestled in your urgent, needy pressure, in the whimpers threatening to spill into his lips. He’ll indulge in this little game for a moment longer — where you pretend that you aren’t desperate for his touch, and he pretends that he isn’t just as desperate to provide it — but once you fumble into his lap, clumsily grasping for more, and more, and even more of him, his resolve begins to crumble.

“I need you.” you whisper into the hollow of his mouth, golden-tongued and virtually earnest, coaxing a trembling sigh from the back of his throat.

He hums back, contented, basking in the intoxicating warmth of your silhouette, tracing the curve of your breasts with his knuckles. “Long day, my love?”

“Mhmm,” You demonstrate your point with a wistful sigh,  enveloping his great hands with your smaller ones, coating them in languid kisses until there was no skin left untouched.

You’re just too fucking cute, he muses. He can never say no to you, not even in jest.

Two of his slender digits roam the valley of your stomach, knuckles ghosting over your navel in their listless descent before they venture between your thighs, surveying just how badly you really need him. He dips his middle finger between your folds, tender and slick with your arousal, and emits a husky groan as he traces a steady line between your entrance and the spot just below your clit, ghosting your little bundle of nerves with each taunting caress. “You’re already soaked, my love. This all for me?” He coos, nudging your jaw with the tip of his nose, pressing a wet, open mouthed kiss against the column of your neck.

“All for you,” You sigh, digging your nails into the broad planes of his shoulder. “Please, Tom, please touch me.”

He finally spares you, thumb sloppily circling your clit as he plunges two digits into your opening, welcoming the lithe intrusion with a warm, velvety embrace. You slump into his embrace, nipples straining hard against the soaked fabric of his t-shirt, and raggedly whimper as he starts to work you open. The reminder of your nude form plastered against his clothes, albeit soaking wet, summons another pool of wetness to your core. You’re flooded with thoughts of delectable anguish — of denim kissing your hips, dragging against your bundle of nerves, as he ravages your bare little cunt, proving that you’re so desperate for his cock that you can barely wait for him to undress.

“Is this all you needed, baby? My fingers? You wanted me to stretch this pretty little cunt out?” He can’t stop the filthy words tumbling from his lips, especially not when your tiny mewls of pleasure are flooding his ears — you’re just so soft and pliant under his touch, so eager to be filled to the brim, it’s intoxicating to know that you’ll take anything he has to offer you. “I’ve got you, baby. I’m gonna give you everything you need. Gonna have you spilling all over my fingers and then — fuck! — then i’m gonna fill you up with my cock. How does that sound?

“Y-yeah,” You’re rutting against his palm at this point, grinding down to meet each thrust, to feel impossibly closer, fuller, ambling toward an orgasm that is already barreling toward you. As he finds a new angle, the pads of his fingers nudge against your g-spot, and the heel of his hand careens over your clit with such a delicious pressure that your thighs begin to quake. “‘M so close.” You whine, prompting him to punctuate each thrust with a curl of his fingers, dragging your orgasm from the pit of your stomach.

“Then let go, baby. Let go for me.” You need no further persuasion, your eyes squeezing shut as you teeter off the edge, with nothing but a raspy, desperate string of obscenities, clawing at the slope of his shoulders, and bathing his hand in sultry waves of nectar as it spills from your weepy little hole. His fingers are trapped between your fluttering walls, working you through your climax with nimble, tentative thrusts, stretching each wave of pleasure out until you’re trembling over little ripples.

“That’s it, that’s my girl.” You feel so small beneath his gaze, teeming with endless pools of adoration, like you’re a freshwater clearing and he’s parched. It nearly distracts you from his fingers as they slip from your opening, but each receding wave of bliss is tethered to him, so you groan at the loss of contact. Your walls flutter hopelessly around nothing, chasing the delicious stretch of his digits in their absence, but you’re instantly qualmed by the sound of his zipper being pulled down, no doubt freeing himself from the waterlogged confines of his jeans.

“Can I?” You sink your hands into what little water still remains in the tub, hooking your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans, but he swats your shaky hands away, adamantly shaking his head as a small frown of confusion forms between your brows. “You don’t wanna take ‘em off?”

“This is about you, my love.” He whispers, his free hand smoothing over the small of your back, stroking the patch of dew-ridden skin with his thumb. “And right now, all I wanna do is keep my promise.”

“You’re so good to me,” You whisper just above his lips, leaning back into his touch, peering between your bodies to survey his ministrations. You’re still a bit dazed from your first, earth-shattering orgasm, but the prospect of another has you buzzing with excitement, and Tom knows that look well enough to speed up his course of action.

Pearly veneers sink into the swell of your bottom lip at the mere sight — his cock is beyond compare. Even as its impatiently pulled through the opening of his jeans, it’s put on a mouth-watering display as he leisurely pumps himself, smearing tiny pearls of precum across his flushed, leaky tip with each upstroke. He’s far too enticing, far too pretty with his rosy cheeked, droopy-eyed charm, to resist, and you’re quick to replace his hand with your own, curling your fingers around the base and mimicking a couple teasing pumps before guiding him to your entrance.

Tom spreads his legs a little wider to accommodate you, the sensation of wet denim rubbing against your thighs, knocking your legs farther apart, causes a soft whimper to fall from your lips. It doesn’t take long for you to align the head of his cock with your entrance, teasing him with a couple of lascivious drags through your folds before you sink onto his length, reigniting the remnants of your last orgasm as inch after delicious inch prods your tender walls apart. By the time he bottoms out, you’re nothing but a trembling pile of limbs, and his lips seek out your own just to muffle your staggered breaths with a burning kiss.

You allow yourself a couple of seconds to adjust — no matter how or which way you take him, he still pushes up every crevice of your insides, demanding every square inch of your velvety heat. A wild flurry of crimson blossoms across the high planes of your cheeks as Tom nuzzles his forehead against your own, brushing his nose against yours, coaxing a melodious string of giggles from your chest while you scrunch up your nose. He presses a chaste kiss to the corner of your lips and smiles against the spot. “You look so pretty like this, my love. With that gorgeous smile of yours, and that pretty little pussy squeezing my cock.” You feel like you’ve got whiplash, trying to come to terms with how obscene he can be under such tender movements. “Just wanna turn you over and bury myself inside. See how tight you feel when you’re folded in half.” His hands reach down to rub gentle, circular motions into the small of your back, and you can’t help but pulse around him at the juxtaposition.

Once the uncomfortable stretch of his girth melts into pleasure, you finally start to work yourself over his length, and you swear you can feel every gorgeous ridge and vein of his cock as you rise up to the tip, only to plunge back down with a impish yelp, setting a clumsy, needy pace that certainly gets the job done. You don’t really find your rhythm until Tom helps you out, sinking his fingers into the supple curve of your ass, orchestrating a hard, punishing pace as he drives up into your sopping cunt, meeting you in the middle with each thrust.

All at once, the bathroom is washed in a crude symphony, the combination of your heavy panting and slapping skin intermingles with the shallow splash of water as it laps against the edge of the tub, punctuating the sinful drag of his length, and how the tip pounds against your furthest wall as you impale yourself onto him. You can feel another orgasm start to build, and since Tom has made it his solemn vow to not only study, but master, every little, scrumptious detail of your body, he senses it as well. 

“You got another one for me?” He asks between labored pants. His own orgasm is starting to peak over the horizon, following in the blazing trail you’ve set, you can tell by the way a thin sheen of sweat starts to build against his hairline, and his brows almost meet in the middle, as if the feeling of your pussy pulsing around his cock is unfathomable. He uses the grip he has on your waist to take control, using one hand to scale up the breadth of your back, and as his palms leave a blistering trail up, up, up your sides, he pulls you flush against his chest, attempting to plant his feet against the floor of the bathtub, 

He needs the leverage to piston his hips up into your own, to pound into your greedy hole at an unyielding pace — to keep his promise — and as you start to feel the tell tale edge of your climax cresting over your weary frame, you spoil his shoulder with sweeping, butterfly kisses and flood his mind with sweet, sweet nothings, luring him to the brink with the same dulcet tones you know drive him wild.

His hips stutter into your own, and before the words can even exit your lips, you’re dragged to the edge of bliss with a couple of rough, uncompromising thrusts that have you wildly spasming around his length. He joins you almost immediately, throbbing against your sensitive walls as he fills you to the brim, driving the mixture of your arousal further into you as he fucks you through your orgasm. 

Once he pulls out, he’s quick to wrap you up in a soothing embrace, planting kisses over every acre of skin he can get his lips on, but you’re too focused on the trail of cum leaking down your thighs to really indulge him, curiosity getting the better of you as you gently weave your arm between your bodies and collect the wetness on your thighs. You swear you can feel the rumble of his chest once you pop your fingers into your mouth, humming around the sodden digits, making a spectacle out of the addicting elixir pooling on your tongue, but his glimmer of reinvigorated stamina is put to rest by the sight of your drowsy, half-lidded stare.

“Why don’t we get you dried off? Then I can start dinner.” He hums against your cheek, punctuating his suggestion with yet another chaste kiss. It’s genuinely like he can’t get enough, and neither can you as you sleepily nod.

“Will you wake me up when it’s ready?” You sigh, teetering on the edge of slumber once more.

“Of course, my love.”

[kaitsawamura]

you’re beautiful

; summary

It’s the end of summer and you notice Kirishima has acquired some new tan lines you’ve never noticed before. Spoiler alert, it’s a turn on.

; stats

18+ only, minors do not interact

Pairing: Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader

Rating: M for Mature

Tags: not proofread lmao, implied established relationship, loving smut, porn with a little bit of plot, sex without a condom, size kink if you squint

Word Count: 586

Links: BNHA Masterlist

; author’s note

Full disclosure this was inspired by a TikTok art piece but I cannot find it for the life of me. If someone has seen the TikTok in question where the artist posted the WONDERFUL piece of Kiri with tan lines, please send it my way so I can link it here. Otherwise, enjoy!

EDIT: a wonderful tumblr user found the link! The TikTok can be watched ; here ;

Kirishima Eijiro with tan lines from his mask.

Kirishima who can’t understand the look you give him one day at the end of summer when you realize what’s happened.

Kirishima who smirks and says “What are you doing?” as you climb into his lap and put your hands on his cheeks, thumbs gently ghosting over the two-toned pattern on his skin. “Your mask. It left tan lines,” you murmur as you lean in and place featherlight kisses where you hands have traced.

Kirishima who flares his nostrils in response and grips your hips, large fingers massaging the flesh. You kiss one cheek, then the other. You lips hover first over the corners of his mouth and then connect with his. “You’re so beautiful,” you smile into his mouth and you can feel his sharp intake of breath.

Kirishima who whispers “Say it again.” and when you do suddenly breathless at the knowledge that being called beautiful means something to him, he’s pulling you, flipping you, guiding you to lay back on the couch.

Kirishima who now suddenly can’t get enough of you, hands roaming, under your tank top to your breasts, down your stomach, under the waist band of your cotton shorts, into your underwear. He lets out a groan when he slips a finger through your folds. You’re a mess already. You buck your hips into his hand. “Can’t wait,” you say, “Need you inside me.”

Kirishima who doesn’t need to be told twice but sits you up to pull your tank top over your head then moves to hastily pull down your shorts and underwear. You’re grasping at his own shorts, tugging until he removes them and his boxers as well. 

Kirishima who knows he should have prepared you but is now in such a love/lust haze that he slides into you without a second thought.  You gasp as he fills you, your walls clenching his cock.  You can feel every part of him, every ridge and vein.  It always takes you by surprise how good it feels, the little flashes of pain that never hurt enough to be anything but pleasurable.  Your arms wrap around him, barely touching across his muscled back and broad shoulders. 

Kirishima who loves the sounds you’re making, your cries so in sync with each thrust of his cock in your dripping cunt.  But he wants to hear it.  Just one more time.  You’re both so close.  “Please, say it just one more time.”  You can barely open your eyes but you do, taking in the adoring expression on his slack-jawed face.  Your hand reaches up to cup his cheek as he ruts into you. 

Kirishima who can feel the trembling in your thighs and so reaches down between you to thumb at your swollen clit as you muster the wherewithal to moan out “Kirishima, you’re beautiful.”  All it takes is one more swipe of his thumb across the sensitive bud between your legs for you to crash, eyes rolled back, over the edge.  Your lips chant his name and your mind chants home home home as he cums inside of you, filling you with his seed. 

Kirishima who practically roars with his release. 

Kirishima who, after cleaning the two of you up, holds you so tightly to his chest, his chin on your head.  Your fingers trace his chest and his run lines up and down your arms.  His breathing has calmed and his heart beats steady in his chest. 

Kirishima Eijiro who loves being called beautiful.

[madaboutmunson]

The Eddie Munson Tape Dates Judas Priest - British Steel

Warnings : Fluff, friendship, swearing, air guitar, if I've missed anything let me know 💚

You flipped the selected tape over in your hand, "Well I sure hope it's not Breaking the law or Grinder" you say a little horrified.

"What about rapid fire?" He teases from the other side of the trailer rustling around in the cupboards

"Oh he's a comedian tonight?" You say getting up from the couch towards the kitchen.

You are immediately met with two bowls of snacks being thrust into you hands, "I'm a clown for you every day of the week!" He smirks, filling his own arms with drinks and snacks, and bustles you out back to where you were sitting.

He fills up the coffee table with the items he's carrying and then yours, finally taking the cassette away from you and putting it away neatly on a nearby shelf and retrieving a vhs tape and holding it up, "Metal Gods" he says with his eyes twinkling at you, before scampering over to the player to put the video on.

"Metal God's? A concert?" You say excitedly.

"Sure is, virtually hot off the press too. Iron Maiden's Live after Death" he grins back at you still fiddling with the vhs player.

It was so incredibly adorable how much Eddie enjoyed sharing his special interests with you, and whilst you didn't love all the music he was into, it was always worth it, just to see how the music moved him. It was like it injected him with life, and seeing that made your heart soar.

"Iron Maiden, huh? We've listened to these before I remember" you say recalling your first date, well the first date you knew was a date before you got there anyway, you smile to yourself. A night that could have easily ended very differently if it hadn't been for Eddie's quick thinking.

You stroke the deep scar on your arm, a weird dull sensation forms within your forearm. The look of Eddie's face as you'd clung onto him for dear life, swims into your head. You grimace and squeeze your eyes shut to prevent any tears from forming. 'He's here now, and you're here now. Everything is ok', you repeat to yourself.

You hear the vhs tape clunk indicating it had fully been rewound, interrupting your trip down nightmare memory lane. Eddie presses play and walks over to the sofa.

it's like he can sense it in the air, "Everything alright my angel?" He says as he spins around and drops down beside you on the couch. His arm above you ready to wrap around your shoulders.

"Yeah I was just thinking about that song, and the row boat, and then my brain decided to remind me about all the pit stuff" you say awkwardly.

You'd been practicing, and trying really hard to be more open with Eddie, especially with your darker thoughts. He'd asked you so many times to just 'talk to me about it', which usually punctuated a disagreement or weird interaction you'd had between one another.

He takes your hand in his, "Well that's just not gonna happen again, Babe. So I understand thinking about it, but it shouldn't ever worry you again. Those things are long dead." He lifts up your arm and like a.mind reader kisses all the way along your scar, looking up at you the whole time, and finally utters "My hero" and smiles.

"And you mine" you say snuggling into his chest letting his arm drape around you. As you both sit back into the couch he kisses and pats the top of your head, and you hear and feel him sigh lovingly, whilst the trailers and as at the start of the video play.

You hear the crowd before you see them, a war time speech plays over the top of them and the music starts, the stage in darkness...Pyros explode the stage into illumination and the band members rush out onto the stage.

"Wait...I know this one...live to fly, fly to live" you try saying along with the song, looking back at Eddie for reassurance. You hadn't realised immediately but the abrupt opening had launched you forward, away from your comfort zone, onto the edge of your seat.

He's giggling a little, "Yes, babe. You know this one for sure" you shake your head at him and go back to the screen, observing the musicians.

They all had varying degrees of long hair, one, the bassist, extremely close to Eddie's. The second observation was all their outfits might have been the tightest clothing you'd ever seen.

The lead singer sporting a huge belt buckle drawing your eyes to an area leaving little to the imagination you try desperately to look at anything else, and thank the camera people when the shots were above his waist.

You decide to ask some questions to distract yourself, "What's the bassist's name?"

"Oh that's Steve Harris" Eddie answers drumming his fingers on his knee, eyes glued to the screen.

"I think he's stolen your hair cut, babe" you smirk at him.

Eddie nudges you playfully, you take a glance back at him. He's still reclined in his seat and requests you back under his arm. You shuffle back to oblige, but then Bruce shouts out "The Trooper" and your eyes and head snap back to the screen.

You hear Eddie laugh, "You're hooked" he leans forward in his seat next to you his arm brushing against yours as he clasps his hands together on his lap.

His laughter stops and you can feel his eyes on you, "Do I need to stop the tape, Babe?"

"No it's just amazing, I mean look at Steve here using his bass as a gun." You say gesturing towards the screen. Sure this music was loud and raucous but it was also very smart, something you hadn't considered before. The Trooper in particular as a thundering beat and bass line, the timing of which was reminiscent of the galloping hooves of horses. It was the kind of music that could paint pictures.

You feel Eddie move his face right next to yours, like he's lining up your eyes next to one another. He lets out a "Hmmm" and moves away slowly.

The fucking belt buckle returns on screen.

"AH HA!! CAUGHT YOU THIS TIME" he's cackling wildly, "You absolute pervert"

"I have no clue what you are talking about. I was simply admiring a fashion accessory" you say trying to retain a scrap of dignity, "But you know, now you've caught me. I can look all I want right?" You say turning to him.

He furrows his brow a little, "I guess.." he says with a pout.

He keeps looking at you and then the screen, "You know what maybe we should watch something else" he says concerned.

You can't hold it in anymore, and burst out laughing, "Alright, sorry. I did look, hands up to that, but that is absolutely the belt buckles doing. The only reason I looked again, was because I thought how much better it would look on you."

A smile creeps across his face, "So I should get that outfit then, wear at my shows and stuff?" He asks.

"Absolutely fucking not!" You exclaim, which sends him rocketing back into the seat with laughter.

"Why...why not, honey?" He manages between giggles.

"I like my freedom Eddie, I do not want to have to go to prison, for ending an audience member for looking at your belt buckle for too long" you grin at him, nudging him playfully in the side.

"The new honest you, is something else babe" he says sighing as his laughter slows down.

"Can we get back to the culture now?" You say gesturing at the screen.

You had said it as a joke but in fact the in next batch songs there were direct cultural references you knew, the flight of Icarus, both a piece of mythology and a painting by an Old Master. The the time of the ancient mariner based on a poem, but it was unbelievably theatrical, at one point sounds of creaking wood and the stage fills with floor mist.

You look over at Eddie intermittently, and his eyes are wide, gently muttering the words. you are fairly sure that whilst he loves the music, it was no secret he had a love for the theatrical too, and this show was colliding those worlds together.

You look back to the screen and the ancient Egyptian backdrop is lit up and accompanied by a creepy laugh. Later in the song there is a beautiful guitar solo, something you didn't think possible for music like this, but just as you were enjoying it, you jump out of your skin.

"What the fuck is that?" You say pointing at the giant Egyptian mummy flailing about on the stage.

"That's Eddie." Eddie smiles at you, as your eyes go wide.

The next song has a spoken word introduction and Eddie knows every single word, and when the guitars kick in you notice his hand gently tapping against his leg to the rhythm.

"Eddie? If I wasn't sitting with you now. How would you be watching this video?" You ask smiling at him, you can almost feel the tension in his body next to you. Like he's holding back.

"Oh I dunno, maybe a little air guitar or something" he tries to shrug it off nonchalantly.

"So why aren't you doing it now? You obviously want to" you say tapping his hand.

"I dunno maybe I thought you'd think it was lame or something." He says avoiding your eyes.

"What about if you showed me and I dunno, I joined in? Then you wouldn't be doing it alone?" You gesture an air guitar in your lap, but your hand positioning makes it more ukulele sized.

"Ok....sure.." he says uncertainly. You find a space in the living room and Eddie joins you, his hands in his pockets. You frown.

"So what, like this?" You gesture a bigger air guitar this time and nod your head to the beat.

"Kinda..." Eddie says with a smile, "Here..." He swoops around behind you and re positions your hands, "Ok now the face, make a face like someone just said something mean about you" you make a sad face, "Er...no...what about if someone said something mean about me, then?" You face becomes one of fury.

"Whoa! That's it babe." He puts his hand at the back of your head, "Now bang your head like this" he pushes on the back of your head a few times. He steps back from his "masterpiece".

"Alright! That's it!" He joins in with you and you can see how happy his face is just running around the living room, jumping on things and sliding across the carpet on his knees like a kid.

It is the kind of exuberance that is completely contagious and you can't help but join in.

"I have an idea" he says running up to you breathlessly, "Go stand on the counter and then sit on my shoulders"

Normally you'd question the sanity of an idea like this but you are just too caught up in the moment, "Ok" you say and off you go.

You and Eddie stagger around the living room like a double decker air guitar robot. Eddie shouting out the lyrics and you joining in with anything you can remember.

"What in all hell is going on in here?!" You hear as the trailer door swings open and the lights turn on.

Eddie turns to the voice and as you are attached to his shoulders so do you. You wave meekly at Eddie's Uncle Wayne.

"...air guitar..." Eddie tries gently, both of you frozen in place.

"You can hear you pair from the entrance to the trailer park!! You're lucky we didn't get another noise complaint! And for god's sake can you get down from there" he is trying to reprimand you both, but you can see a hint of a smile.

Eddie backs you up to the counter which this time you just use as a hand ledge, rather than standing on it in front of Wayne.

"Sorry for the noise Mr Munson, we just got carried away" you say apologetically to Wayne.

"Well alright, apology accepted" He says turning down the TV, changing the channel and helping himself to the table of snacks.

"Come on" Eddie whispers to you walking you outside of the trailer.

"Bye Mr Munson" you wave, he gives you a small nod and a smile.

As soon as you are far enough out of ear shot you say quietly, "Fuck sake, I always seem to mess up here. He probably, rightly, worries I'm gonna get you in trouble."

Eddie smiles at you, "He's just making a show for the neighbours. He likes you well enough"

"That was a show?? Has he thought about going into acting or law enforcement. I was so scared" you say genuinely, clutching at your own collar.

"You'll get used to it. He just has to show some of people round here hell do something about it is all. That way they leave us be" he wraps his arms around your waist.

"And you know soon enough they'll link all the noise and bad behaviour to when you or your car are here, and I'll be back to angel status again with you as the very bad influence" he chuckles.

"Hey no fair, you get to be the favourite at both houses?" You say surprised.

"Look, I can't help me if folks just love me alright? I'm a lovable type of guy" he says making a little devil face at you, his fingers poking through his hair for the horns, "I could be more lovable if I got myself some tights and a huge belt buckle though right?" He teases.

"Why you little..." You say laughing, raising your hands up ready to launch a tickle attack onto him.

[anabsolutetrainwreck]

can you write something about the reader being a singer and harry’s family going to see her live for the first time ?

you’re so golden || h. styles

warnings: famous!reader, no covid

word count: 1.3k

summary: you’ve never been as nervous to perform as you were when your boyfriend’s family was in the audience...

This was your second time performing at the O2 Arena in London. The first time was on your second tour and you were sure you’d never felt nerves like it. But the show had gone wonderfully. It was two hours of pure serotonin. Having fans scream lyrics you’d written back to you was one of the most exhilarating feelings you’d ever felt coursing through your veins. And after your first show at the O2, you assumed the second would be a walk in the park. Your nerves for the show had died down immensely. That was until your darling boyfriend, Harry, informed you that his mum and sister had purchased tickets. Now you were even more nervous than you had been for the first show. 

You and Harry first met in 2018 at the BRITs. He’d won the British Video award, whilst you had snagged the British Album award for your second album. Mutual congratulations were exchanged after your managers introduced the two of you. It was only at the end of 2018, after your world tour had finished, that you became something more than friends. And when your fans began to notice lyrical parallels in both yours and his songs towards the end of 2019 when Fine Line was released, they were sure the two of you were dating after seeing so many paparazzi pictures of you on dinner dates and hanging out in the streets. What really pushed it over the line though, was when they connected a sweater you were wearing in a picture you’d taken with a fan to a picture of Harry in 2016, coming to the conclusion that you were wearing his sweater. And, finally, when you were listed in the writing credits of She and Falling, they were sure the two of you were an item. Neither of you had necessarily confirmed it, but you hadn’t made the effort to deny it. 

With the added pressure of Harry’s family seeing you perform live for the first time, it was also the first show of your entire tour. You’d start in London and finish in Tokyo. Your third album had been well received, the fans adored it. And, as soon as the promo and press stuff was out the way, you were on the road again. Which brought you here, sat backstage at the O2, waiting for your cue to go on stage. Your show had sold out, meaning 20,000 people were watching you perform. When you heard your name being called, you got up to head onto the stage. 

The screams of your name lit something up inside of you, a large smile working its way into your features. Your bassist, Delilah, smirked at you. You loved your band, they were your best friends. “Good evening, London,” you grinned, standing in front of the microphone in the centre of the stage. “How are we all feeling tonight?”

You were met with screams from your fans. You smiled, something they never failed to make you do. You introduced your first song as your band began the intro to the song. As you were singing, stopping occasionally to let your fans sing the lyrics without you, you couldn’t help but skim across the sea of screaming people in an attempt to spot Harry and his family. And finally, as the first song came to close, your eyes landed on Harry, Anne and Gemma in the crowd. Harry was busy talking to a fan who was sat beside him. Gemma cheered loudly as you made eye contact with her, forcing an amused grin onto your face.  

As the evening progressed, you couldn’t help but get lost in the electric atmosphere. Joking around on stage with your band and interacting with the audience was one of the many lights of your life. You were eternally grateful that you’d made it; you were doing what you adored as a career. “Now, before we wrap it up, I have one final song to perform. It’s a song I wrote in 2018 after I met someone very special. So, if you know the words, sing along. This is February,” you said, beginning to pluck the strings on your guitar. 

The crowd screamed so loudly, perhaps the loudest of the evening. This was definitely a fan favourite. It was common knowledge that this song was about Harry, having met him in February of 2018. Amongst themselves on Twitter, had made a rule to stay silent during the chorus of the song, isolating your voice across the arena. Something about Y/N and only Y/N singing to Harry. It was sweet really and you loved how much your fans banded together on social media to pull off little things like that. And as soon as they figured out that Harry was attending your show, they were all the more determined to make it happen. And, as you began the chorus, the arena went deathly silent. Your amplified voice rang across it and you couldn’t help but look to Harry as you sang. Like you were singing to him. 

The rest of the world, it felt, just slowly drained away and all that mattered to you was Harry. He stared back, his eyes full of what could only be described as such immense pride. It was only when the song finished you were pulled back down to the present. “Thank you to every single one of you for being so perfect tonight! I love you all so much!” you yelled, blowing kisses to the cheering crowd.

You took a bow, your band following suit. The lights faded and you vanished into the blackness, the fans still screaming. Even when you left the stage, still sweaty from some of the livelier songs, the buzz did leave your body. It took about five minutes for Harry to meet you backstage. “You were so incredible,” he whispered, kissing your forehead as he wrapped you in his arms. 

You grinned up at him, your eyes full of admiration for the taller man. Shortly afterwards, Gemma and Anne emerged. This only left you to be swept up into another hug by the two women, who had become somewhat of a second family to you. “Is tomorrow’s show sold out?” Anne asked. 

You nodded. Your next show was also at the 02. Your tour management team added an extra day due to the tickets selling out so quickly. “That’s a shame. I want to see you do it all over again!” she grinned. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Oh, thanks, Mum,” Harry said, though he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. 

“You ought to take some notes from Y/N,” Gemma added, smirking. 

“Wow,” he laughed. “All my life I’ve known you… betrayal hurts, guys. I’m human too, you know?”

The three of you laughed at his pout. It slowly moulded into a smile, “You were amazing though, love.”

You smiled gratefully at them, “And you weren’t underwhelmed or anything?”

That was your main worry. Harry had been talking about how brilliant your shows were, so Anne had told you. The night before the show, when she’d been round at yours and Harry’s flat for dinner, she was explaining how excited she was to see you live after all of the footage she’d seen of you performing. And you’d been worried for the 24 hours that followed that conversation that she had her hopes up too high for your show. “Underwhelmed? Of course not! You were wonderful, Y/N,” Anne assured you, squeezing your arm. 

“You were so golden on stage,” Gemma grinned, glancing between you and her brother.

He rolled his eyes at her, “Okay, well now you’re just stealing my lyrics.”

[cutesuki--bakugou]

Anything

Rating:  Explicit

Warnings: Rough Sex (Vaginal), Rough Oral Sex (blow job, face fucking), Spanking / Whipping (with a drumstick), Obsessive Reader, Toxic / Power Imbalanced Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, Suggested Dubcon / Reluctant / Compliant Reader

Words: 10,418 

Pairing: Drummer!Bakugou Katsuki x Superfan!Fem!Reader

Quirkless, Punk rock band AU

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Tags: @lady-bakuhoe​, @gallickingun​, @mirakumiruku​, @wakaoujisenhime​, @sunnieskies02​, @hisoknen​

Art in banner by me.

This was incredibly frustrating. Finally, after years of admiring and being an incredibly dedicated fan, you were standing in front of your favorite punk rock band. They were just a few feet from you, so close that you could reach out and touch them. How badly you wanted their full and undivided attention was near suffocating, and yet, it was so difficult for you to find the courage to speak at all. You had given them your name after you had been brought backstage for the meet up, which was a perk of the insanely expensive VIP tickets you and your friends had purchased. 

That’s all that you had been able to say. Your friend, however, was absolutely bursting with questions. You were very close to her, but damn, you wished that she would just stop talking long enough for someone else to get a word in. All day you had been brooding over what you wanted to ask, what you wanted to say to these men that had been such a huge part of your life for the last few years. Their music had inspired you, made you cry, pumped you up so much that you’d jump around your room and just jam out. But, more than that, they had saved you. You didn’t know how to explain it, or even how it happened in the first place, but you had truly begun to feel like their existence is what you lived for. 

Was that unhealthy? Probably. But who could blame you? You loved every single one of them. All five men were like your best friends, and you felt so close to them from your time following them on social media and attending their concerts. You knew them like the back of your hand, from birthdays, to favorite food, drinks, hobbies, past or current girlfriends, and you had even found out their personal telephone numbers. Had you ever called them? No, of course not. That would be creepy. 

Midoriya Izuku, the band leader and lead singer, was being the most engaging as far as answering questions. Unlike their punkish attire and aesthetic, he was like sunshine, incredibly friendly and soft with his curly green hair and freckled cheeks. He was adorable, able to make all the little fangirls scream and squeal with his grin and a cheeky wink. 

Todoroki Shouto, lead guitar and backup singer, was the quiet pretty boy of the group, breaking hearts with his intense and piercing stare. That wasn’t to say he didn’t have a soft side to him, but more than anything, he was extremely dense, and his genuine confusion was what made him so desirable. 

Kirishima Eijirou, second guitar, was another ray of sunshine amongst the black clothes and punk piercings. He loved to get the crowd riled up, his endless energy and cheery personality infectious. Out of everyone, he was the most openly friendly without a hint of shyness and treated everyone like he had known them forever. 

Kaminari Denki, bass guitar, was the group idiot. He was nice, but often did and said things that could get the group into trouble or make a fool of himself in the public eye. Funny and playful, he could make anyone laugh, either from a joke or from just being a silly fool. 

Although you adored them all, one of them had you in his grip, like your heart had been locked in a vice that grew tighter every time you saw him. The fifth member, Bakugou Katsuki, was your absolute dream man. Rough, arrogant, mean, and foul mouthed, he was the bands second in command, drummer, and backup singer for moments that required his deep and gruff voice. God, he was everything you ever wanted in a partner. Boyfriend. Husband. Whatever! You wanted him so badly that you dreamed about it constantly, picturing yourself in those strong arms or having those calloused hands on your body. Much to your misfortune, he was the most private on social media, so there was still a lot about him that you didn’t know. 

That was one of his most attractive qualities to you. His mystery and his silence. What was he really like? Was he this grumpy and off putting with those close to him? Did he have a gentle side of any kind?

You wanted to know everything about him! But, standing here in front of the entire band, you were frozen, not able to make a squeak. Even your eyes were locked on the floor, unable to look up at them in fear that you would gawk a little too intensely. Or start crying. One of the two would happen, probably. 

Your chance to interact with your heroes was slipping by with each moment, however, and you didn’t know if you’d ever get to have this chance again. What did you want to say? What questions had you thought about? You had a million of them, all you had to do was just say one. Something. Anything! 

“Bakugou-!” 

The name slipped from your lips in a sharp snap, which tapered off at the end with a tremble. Just as the sweet name left your lips, your eyes darted up, catching the confused and irritated crimson glare of the blonde drummer. At first, you were taken aback by his current appearance, still flushed and sweaty from the concert performance. His blonde spiked locks were wild and unruly, bangs stuck to the sweaty skin of his forehead and cheeks. He was so handsome, all messy and hot--

“U-uhm…” Your friend that stood beside you gave you a nudge in the side, though she was unable to pull your gaze away from Bakugou, who’s annoyed snarl made your heart begin to race. “[Name], I was about to ask something else…” 

“What’d you want to say, you damn shitty extra.” Bakugou barked at you, ignoring your friends' whine at being interrupted. “Don’t just bark out my name and then stand there like a fucking moron.” That gruff and demanding voice was intoxicating, making you involuntarily clench your thighs together and clutch at the fabric of your skirt.

“I… I was wanting to know. Uhm,” Your eyes darted across his face and his chest as you tried to think of what you had been wanting to ask him. You couldn’t remember for the life of you, but as your gaze landed on the piercing he had on the bridge of his nose, a thought popped into your head and curiosity flourished instantly. “How many piercings do… do you have?” 

Bakugou’s eyebrow cocked in initial confusion at the question, before returning to its usual furrowed position. “The fuck? That’s kind of personal, ain’t it?” 

“I’ll tell you how many I have.” You weren’t sure if the teasing, flirtatious sound of your voice was purposeful or not, but just hearing yourself made the tips of your ears flush. “Five types… Nine piercings total. I bet you beat me on that, hm?” 

“Tch, that’s fucking nothing, you little punk poser. I have nine types, thirteen total.” Bakugou shoved his hands into the pockets of his loose shorts, pulling the fabric down just enough to show the skin of his left hip and a peak of his boxers. One of the stated piercings gleamed in the light once exposed, and it took all your willpower to not hyper focus on it. “Not like you’ll ever know them all or see them.” 

“I bet I could guess.” “You’d fucking fail, moron-”

“A-ah, let’s not!” Midoriya interrupted, giving a nervous laugh and a wave of his hand to pull your attention off Bakugou. “We’re not here to talk about such personal things, you know! Right, Kacchan?” 

“I don’t give a fuck,” Bakugou shifted his weight from his right foot to his left, giving an annoyed click of his tongue. “I’m not in the mood for this bullshit.” 

“Why?” You once again spoke without thinking. “Because you missed your cue during Collide?” The accusation immediately had Bakugou’s eyes widening in surprise before he scoffed, glaring crimson daggers at you.  

“Well aren’t you just a fucking super fan.” 

“I try to be.” Although you knew that he wasn’t kind to you, the fact that he noticed your extreme interest in the band made your cheeks flush, looking down at the ground between your black combat boots. The t-shirt you had paired with your skirt was your favorite that you owned of the bands merchandise, and just seeing it as you gaze down over your chest made your stomach bubble nervously. Was it really that obvious? Was it weird to him? Did he like it? 

“Ah, well, anyway!” Your friend piped in again, taking a step closer to Midoriya with a sparkle in her eyes. “Deku! Please, tell us about your girlfriend!” 

Midoriya instantly went into his flustered state of rubbing the back of his head, his stuttering and embarrassed gibberish cracking with his exhausted voice, leaving you once again off to the sidelines. With a small, quiet sigh, you fiddled with the hem of your skirt, more questions burning on the tip of your tongue. In your down casted vision, you saw Bakugou’s feet shift, and there wasn’t a second thought in your mind about looking up at him. Your gaze immediately locked with his, which was still a dark and threatening glare. 

Your heart instantly skipped a beat, the heat in your cheeks growing hotter. Had he already been looking at you? Why was he glaring so intensely? You didn’t think that he would get upset with the mention of his mistake that you had pointed out, but perhaps he had gotten embarrassed? In truth, you hadn’t meant your statement to be argumentative in any way. You were more concerned about him. Messing up during a performance was a big deal, and though most people might not have noticed, you were curious if it was eating at him or if he just doesn’t care. 

Then, he made a move that you didn’t expect. With a quiet click of his tongue, he began to make his way out of the room, only stopping at the door when Kirishima spoke up. 

“Woah, man, where are you going?” The redhead interrupted Midoriya, who also looked at Bakugou curiously. 

“I work a lot harder than all of you assholes during a show! I’m sick of fucking standing around, and these losers aren’t even interesting. I’ll be in my room.” Before anyone could stop him, the door slammed shut with his exit, and you turned your attention to Midoriya as he sighed. 

“A-aha, I’m sorry about Kacchan! He’s uh… he doesn’t like meetups much.” 

“That’s a shame…” You mumbled under your breath, already missing his presence. You could still feel that glare on you, so threatening and dangerous. This had been your chance to really make yourself stand out from the crowd and show him how genuinely interested you were in him, and you wasted it. You cared about him more than these other women that fawned over him like brainless zombies. You were perfect for him. You knew you were, without a doubt, and you wanted him. 

It was true that the rest of the band members were close to your heart, that you admired all of them as your heroes. But Bakugou… You had just ruined your chance to talk with him and get to know him. 

There wasn’t anything else you could do.

“Is there a bathroom I can use?” Your question once again popped out of your mouth during the middle of a conversation, though instead of stopping it, Kirishima smiled at you sweetly. His kind face and gentle touch to your arm to lead you away from the group so he could talk to you had your heart racing, almost too scared to take a step in fear that you’d trip with how distracted you were by his face. 

“Yeah, babe. Go left down the hall, you’ll see it marked. Don’t get yourself into trouble, m’kay?” 

B-babe? Aahh, why would he call me that? He’s too sweet for his own good. Cheeks flushing, you gave a small nod, thanking him quietly before heading out of the room, taking a final quick glance at the group behind you to catch Kirishima giving you a playful wave. Of course, by the time you stepped outside into the hallway, Bakugou had already vanished. Using what you had remembered of the route to get to this room from backstage, you hadn’t seen anything that was labeled as a changing room for any of the men. So, you went left down the hall as you had originally been instructed, glancing at each door you passed to see if there were any names scribbled on the dry erase board many of them sported. 

Your heart nearly stopped when you finally saw it. Bakugou Katsuki, written in red marker with a shitty doodle of what looked to be a hand holding up the middle finger, along with the words “fuck off”. Before going in, you took a moment to press your ear up against the door, listening closely to see if there were any signs of life. There wasn’t a single sound or hint of movement, so gathering your courage and glancing up and down the hall for danger, you took hold of the doorknob, your heart beginning to race as it moved without resistance. 

With a quiet click, the door opened, not making another sound as you cracked it just enough to look inside. The lights were on, and your suspicions that he hadn’t been inside were confirmed. Feeling a bit discouraged, you considered just going back to the room to finish off your time with the rest of the band. That would probably be enough to satisfy your longing for them, right? The others could be great company, and maybe Bakugou would come back before you left. 

But, deep in your chest, you could feel the need to be with Bakugou alone to talk to him one on one. You wanted his attention more than anything, and you knew that there wasn’t going to be another chance for you to see him this close again any time soon. No, you couldn’t run away. You had already come too far to back out now. What’s the worst he could do? Kick you out? Call security to have you removed? Call you names? Press you up against the wall and threaten you? 

Ah, well, maybe that wasn’t all that bad. You’d probably melt in his hands and collapse on the floor in a blushing puddle of tears if he so much as touched you. 

Gathering your resolve, you pushed yourself on into the room, walking lightly and glancing this way and that to make sure he wasn’t just laying on some furniture or something to take a nap. Feeling confident that he wasn’t in the room, you shut the door behind you with a light click, taking a few timid steps into the room. Almost instantly, you were completely engulfed by the scent of his body spray, which you had only been faintly able to pick up while in the group. It was such a powerful scent, bold and intense, just like him. How quickly just the simple scent of him made your core burning hot was a bit staggering, feeling your knees already growing weak and your chest growing tight. 

This is harder than I thought… Just from smelling him like this I feel like I’m going crazy. And he’s not even in here! I should leave before I get too distracted… But… This is his stuff! 

Beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed being in the presence of Bakugou’s possessions, your teary gaze scanned the room methodically, surprised to see that the room was actually very well kept. With his brash personality, you more expected Bakugou’s personal space to be a wreck, but the only thing that was really out of place was a small pile of clothes tossed aside next to a suitcase. A desire to be close to Bakugou driving you, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation as you made your way towards it, squatting down. Right on top was the tank top he had just been wearing, still soaked with his sweat. It was the most recent thing that had touched his body. It still had his essence all over it. How could you just leave it there? 

Picking it up, you brought the shirt up to your nose, inhaling deeply. It was absolutely delicious, your body quivering from the excitement and adrenaline beginning to pump through your veins. You were actually holding one of Bakugou’s sweaty shirts in your hands, one that he had just performed in! This was absolutely real. It wasn’t a dream!

Becoming overwhelmed with your feelings for him, you flopped back to sit on your butt, spreading your legs open. Since you were wearing fishnet hose with decently large holes, you had direct access to your already soaked pussy, the little lace thong easily moved aside. Now, all that existed to you was the scent wafting off his shirt and your fingers eagerly stroking your sex, alternating between stroking your clit and digging two of your fingers inside you. The cloth of the t-shirt pressed up against your lips and nose, you panted and moaned softly against it, imagining that you were right up against his chest, his fingers teasing your cunt. 

You were so engrossed in your fantasy that you could even hear him taunting you, that deep growl of his voice in your ear. 

“That’s right, babygirl. You like when I finger that slutty pussy, don’t you?” 

“You’re so fucking wet, you little whore. Dripping all for me.” 

“Getting horny just from the smell on my clothes? You dirty fuck.” 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” 

The sudden rattling boom of a familiar yell startled you out of your pleasant daydream, turning your moan into a squeal as you nearly jumped out of your skin. Spinning around, you were met with the wide-eyed shocked crimson glare of your dream man, who was standing halfway in the room, as if he had stopped in his tracks upon seeing you. All you could do was sit there in shock, still holding his shirt up to your face as your other hand tried to pull your skirt down between your legs, as if to hide your sin. 

“I,” Stuttering, you tried to gather yourself, clenching your thighs together tightly. “I, uhm, Bakugou, it’s not- How’d you… get in?” 

His shocked expression contorted into one of confusion, then into annoyance, his brows furrowed deeply as he startled at you. “Are you fucking kidding me? You didn’t lock the door, ya dumb cunt.” Walking the rest of the way inside, he slammed the door shut loudly behind him, startling you again enough to scurry back against the wall, your knees pulled up to your chest protectively. “What the fuck are you even questioning me for? You’re the horny bitch sitting on my floor sniffing my fucking clothes and touching yourself.” Without having to look back at the doorknob, Bakugou gave the little lock a twist, setting the latch firmly in place. 

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you could only stare at him, your eyes captivated by that fierce glare. How hot he made you only intensified now that he was back in your presence, and more than that, the asshole was even shirtless. His flawless muscular figure made your mouth feel dry, as if any and all liquid your body could produce was pooling between your legs. It was everything you could do not to start touching yourself again, clutching onto his shirt with both hands tightly. “I… I’m sorry. I just… I-” 

“You’re just a damn psycho fan, aren’t ya?” Reaching up to give his hair a quick ruffle, Bakugou started making his way towards you, his ruined and ragged skater shoes squeaking against the smooth wooden floor. “I’m surprised you didn’t rip your shirt off during the fucking concert and throw your bra on stage.” 

“I’m not stupid like those girls… I have dignity. And I don’t want a bunch of other people seeing my tits anyway.” Your voice lowered down to a meek whisper by the time he stood in front of you, both of his hands on his hips, as if he were about to scold you like an angry parent. With him so close, your eyes glanced over every inch of his bare torso, drinking in how absolutely flawless he was. What was even more enticing was the piercings he had so proudly boasted about not long ago, a pair of them placed on his collarbones, nipples, and hips. 

“Tch, dignity?” Bakugou scoffed, a sly smirk crossing his lips. “‘Dignity’, the little slut says, as she sits on the floor in my dressing room fucking herself to the stench on my shirt. Pathetic.” 

“What are… Are you going to kick me out?” 

“There’s a lot that I could do to you,” Bakugou’s smirk turned wicked, his lips curling up to show his gums. “But how about you tell me what the fuck you were doing in here?” 

“I just… I really wanted to get an autograph or picture with you. You’re my,” Your breath caught in your throat, not wanting to let it slip that he was your absolute dream man. “You’re my favorite band member.” 

“Then what are you doing with my clothes?” 

An intense burning suddenly rushed to your cheeks with a new round of embarrassment, and with it came the stinging sensation of tears building up in your eyes. What had you been doing? You had just wanted to talk to him more, to get to know him better, and just spend time with your hero. And yet, you had let yourself get completely overwhelmed by a burning desire for him, one that was just too strong to ignore in the moment of solitude with his possessions. You knew that you had a very intense crush on him, but that bad and that… gross? You had told yourself over and over that you weren’t like the desperate women who would do anything filthy to get his attention, yet here you were, sniffing his clothes and touching yourself. 

“I… I don’t know what I was doing.” Your voice quivered as you avoided looking at him, trying to blink the tears away. “That was really gross of me. I had just… wanted to see you in private. I wasn’t getting a chance to talk to you, to any of you, and… I just wanted my chance.” 

“You wanted your chance, eh?” Bakugou brought a hand up to his chin, rubbing it as if he were in thought, contemplating his options. “So much that you’d sneak into my room, to wait for me or try to corner me?” 

Swallowing the lump that had grown in your throat, you coward down back against the wall, wishing that you could just shrink away in shame. Your impulses had completely ruined your chances. He had to think you were a total freak by now, he’d never want to even give you the time of day. 

“Ya know,” Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest, taking a half step closer to you. His posture and presence over you was so aggressive and domineering that you couldn’t find it in yourself to move, only pulling your legs up tighter to your chest to try and get further away from him. “You talk all big, saying that you’re not like those other extras out there that’ll drop their pants in seconds for me. That you have ‘dignity’. But I don’t think that’s true. I think you’re just like those other sluts out there, a stupid whore that is driven by nothing but her cunt.” 

You gave a small shake of your head, trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs and the swirling in your stomach from how he was treating you. You couldn’t believe it was turning you on so much. “No, I… That isn’t what I wanted.” 

“I think it is. You’re disgusting. Nothing but a filthy super fan and a stalker. Why don’t you just admit it?” 

“Because… It’s not true. I love you, but not… It’s not all like that.” 

“If you loved me, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” The change in tone caught you off guard, his voice no longer accusatory and vicious. Instead, his growl was almost soothing, as if he were trying to calm your frantic thoughts of failure. “You’d do anything to stay in the same room as me. To just be able to fucking look at me or get a shitty autograph, hm?” 

“I would… yes.” Your heart racing, you tried to blink away the tears still prickling in your eyes, but they were persistent. “But if you want me to leave, I’ll… do that, too. I shouldn’t have come here like this in the first place…” 

“You regret it?” Bakugou moved his hands back to his hips, his fingers resting against the pristine shape of his hips with such rugged and confident posture. You were so conflicted on your feelings, and that question only made your throat grow tight. Did you regret it? All your actions up to this point had gotten you here, alone in his room with him, and no matter what the interaction was or may end up being, just getting to be here was a dream come true. 

But what would you do? Would you really do anything he asked of you? Anything? In truth, you didn’t think that you had the courage and you would just annoy him until he kicked you out. What would he even want from you in the first place? You weren’t innocent enough to not have noticed the bulge beneath the zipper of his shorts, pressing up into the fabric. Was this entire situation, having you cowering on the floor in front of him like this, actually turning him on? Did he… like you, then? Was he attracted to you? 

“I asked you a question.” Bakugou snapped when you didn’t answer him, leaning forward a bit to glower down at you with that typical snarl. 

“I don’t… I don’t regret it. I just don’t want to upset you.” 

“Aw, don’t want to upset me, eh?” With a click of his tongue, Bakugou’s snarl stretched into a smirk. “Poor little stalker, scared to upset me. Don’t worry, babygirl. Just do what I ask, and you won’t upset me.” 

“Really? You’re not upset?” 

“Not at all, babe. But you have to do what I say. You’ll do anything for me, won’t you?” The condescending growl of his voice was lost to you, only able to latch on to the pet names and hope of getting back on his good side.

“Yes.” 

“Because you’re not like those other girls. You're my number one fan. Aren’t you?” 

A new burning of heat and tears flared up, unable to stop the happy smile on your lips. “Yes. Yes! I am! I love you so much-”

“Get on your knees.” 

Smile faltering, you were confused by the demand, looking up at Bakugou through your gathered tears. “What?” 

“Get on your fucking knees.” Bakugou snapped again, the gleam in his glare almost… sinister. Still, there was something in you that begged for you to comply, and just like your impulses earlier, you couldn’t ignore it. Squeezing the fabric of his shirt tightly in your hands, you slowly shifted yourself up onto your knees as demanded, though the space between him and the wall was limited. Worried about your face being too close to his crotch, you sat back mostly on your legs, but he was quick to correct you. 

“All the way up on your knees.” 

Nibbling at your bottom lip, you pushed yourself up to be kneeling, your eyes glancing and looking everywhere but at the crotch of his baggy blank punk shorts, which reached his knees and ended in tattered fabric. The chains on both hips rattled lightly as he shifted his weight to his other foot, and that slight sound pulled your eyes to look at them, and thus at his crotch. At this angle, you could truly see how strained he was, the form of his cock clearly visible. The heat in your cheeks grew fiercer just thinking about what was just a few inches from your nose, and what was worse, the smell of him was overwhelming all your senses. He must have just recently reapplied his spray after sweating like mad for hours on end, but even his natural scent was enticing. 

“What are you looking at, babe?” 

Bakugou’s voice broke you out of your stupor, bringing you to look up at his face. “Nothing… Just, well…” Your voice tapered off, unable to find it within you to ask him. He obviously had a boner, but what the hell did that mean?

“Open your mouth. Keep those pretty eyes on my face.” His commands had grown softer, as if he were purring at you to keep you compliant. Opening your mouth as told, you peered up at him through your lashes, tilting your head back a little. The way his smirk grew had your skin tingling, but that isn’t what had all your attention. Your focus was on his hips, listening to the rustling of fabric and watching the movement of his arms through your peripheral vision. “Good girl. Now stick out your tongue. And don’t move.” 

Slowly, your tongue lolled out, and the low groan he gave in satisfaction of your obedience had you opening your mouth wider. As you sat there waiting for him, you could feel the saliva beginning to dribble down your chin and along the length of your tongue, gathering in a slick pool before dripping off the tip of your tongue to the floor. 

Suddenly, you felt a hard and hot presence slap against your tongue, making you squeak and recoil back. Though, before you could get far, your hair was in Bakugou’s fist, yanking you back up into position and peering up at him in shocked fear. He was visibly agitated, but his smirk was still wide, teeth bared. 

“What do you think you’re doing, slut? I said don’t move. You told me you’d do anything I say.” 

Trembling now, you pulled your gaze from his to look at his hips, pressing your lips together tightly as you gazed upon his erect cock. As he held it steady with his free hand, you couldn’t help but take in every detail, from the girth and length, the prominent veins and ridges, and the frenum barbell piercing nestled just under the blushing head. It was truly the most attractive cock you had ever seen in your life, and a fire began to rage in your core as you realized that was what had just hit your tongue. 

Bakugou’s cock… He… He wants me to suck him off? What if I’m not good enough… I shouldn’t! 

You could feel the heat of your essence beginning to dribble down your thighs, your poor excuse for underwear and hose completely soaked through. You could feel the throbbing all the way into your stomach, and it was impossible to deny that you were the horniest you had ever been. But this isn’t what you had expected or wanted to do. Was it? 

“That’s what you said, isn’t it?” Bakugou pulled your head a bit closer, giving you a few rough smacks to the cheek with his impressive cock. “You would do anything for me.” With your lips still tightly closed, he ran the tip of his cock across them, smearing his precum along your skin. “So be a good girl and give my cock a little kiss. Be sweet, now.” 

Although the demand was embarrassing, the pressure of his grip on your hair and his cock literally at your lips made you feel like you truly didn’t have a choice. He was in control of all of this. He could do anything he wanted. He could get you arrested, even. You had to do what he said, not only for your own benefit, but because you adored him. So, you placed a tender kiss right beneath the head, your eyes fluttering closed. Abandoning the t-shirt in your hands, you reached up to softly caress his cock, using your grip to move it up to give you more access to the underside. Your kisses were quite timid at first, but as one lingered against the underside of his shaft, the pulsing you could feel against your lips made your body ache. 

Eventually, your kisses became more passionate, even giving light suckles and little kitten licks, teasing the piercing and the sensitive head. Hearing him groan with the attention pulled your eyes up to look at him, a bit surprised to see that his cheeks were quite flushed, and his smirk had faded. Was he really enjoying this? 

Bracing himself against the wall with his free hand, Bakugou only further crushed you with his overwhelming presence and dominance, making you pause in worry. “Good girl. Now open your fucking mouth.” 

The instant your lips parted wide enough, Bakugou simultaneously pulled your head and pressed his hips forward, shoving his cock into your mouth, the tip stopping at the back of your tongue. Squeaking and groaning in surprise of the forced entry, you clutched on tightly to his thighs, only just having noticed that his shorts had fallen around his feet. His boxers had simply been pushed down out of the way, but the elastic kept them up on his hips for now. You were unable to move, his grip on your hair too tight to pull back. He didn’t want you to do the work? 

“That’s it, baby. Keep that mouth nice and open for my cock. You don’t gag easily do you?” You could hear the feigned concern in the question, and the only answer you could give is a furrow of your brow, new tears prickling in the corners of your eyes. “Oh well. Guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” 

It was then that Bakugou began to thrust his hips, fucking your mouth slow and shallow. You were actually surprised that he started out so cautious, but you could tell that the pleasure was beginning to grow quickly. “Fuck babe, you’re such a good little slut for me.” Ever so slightly, he began to thrust faster and deeper, until the tip of his cock was hitting against the back of your throat. You were lucky that you didn’t have a strong gag reflex, as you knew that anyone who did would have already puked all over him. But you could take it. You could take it for him, to let him have his way with you just to stay with him a little longer. 

Though, you were finding that it was difficult, breathing in through your nose and trying to distract yourself from the burning in your jaw. Each thrust had your nose touching his pelvis and his balls slapping against your chin, which was coated in drool that dripped freely. It was so difficult to handle him, in fact, that you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your cheeks, only further displacing your already ruined makeup from crying earlier. You were a mess already, but the fire within you didn’t falter. If not for needing to grip onto his thighs to keep you balanced, you would be touching yourself again, the craving for your own pleasure just as suffocating as the dick in your throat. 

Still, your struggles were worth it. You got to watch Bakugou’s expression, his brow no longer furrowed in anger but in pleasure, his eyes glazed over with the undying need for release. His face was flushed and sweat was already beginning to drip down along his skin, his body still affected by the intense performance he hadn’t finished not even an hour ago. The way his body moved, muscles tensing and rolling beneath your grip on his thighs. He was so gorgeous. 

You had expected him to finish in your mouth, but after some time of fucking your throat raw, he stopped, holding the back of your head as he dug his cock as deep in as he could. You groaned and whined from the pressure, wishing desperately for relief while pushing on his thighs. With his own groan and hiss of pleasure, Bakugou pulled out of your mouth slowly, his smirk returning as he took in the sight of you. “You should see yourself. Filthy. Keep your tongue out.” When he finally removed himself completely, you took in a deep breath, gasping and panting to try and recover from the brutality you had to endure. Your tongue, however, stayed out as he demanded, allowing him to rub the underside of his tip against it. 

“You’re fuckin’ hot, you know that? So fucking sexy. I bet you have a nice tight little pussy, too.” After a few rough slaps of his cock against your tongue, he took a step back, stepping out of his shorts as he did so as well as his shoes, leaving him in nothing but his boxers. “Stand the fuck up.” 

Swallowing hard, you took the moment of getting to your feet to wipe your chin of the mess of liquids, but you didn’t get much time to steady yourself. Snatched by the arm, Bakugou dragged you over a few feet towards the couch, grabbing you once again by the hair and forcing you down over the armrest. The couch was quite tall, so with your upper body pressed into the cushions and your hips snuggly in place against the armrest, you could barely touch the floor with your tiptoes. It was another uncomfortable position, but you ignored the pressure on your belly as your ass was suddenly exposed to the cold air of the room, your skirt flipped up out of the way. 

“Fuck you have a nice ass.” Gripping your backside with both hands firmly, Bakugou squeezed and spread you open, taking in the pleasant view. “What a fucking punk poser you are with these shitty fishnets. They don’t even do shit.” Digging his fingers into the holes along your crotch, he gave a rough yank, ripping the fabric open to give him easy access. “Holy fucking shit, you should see how wet you are, babygirl.” 

You whimpered at the feeling of his thumb stroking along your sex, the slick that coated your skin giving him no resistance. You could feel it, all over your inner thighs and aching cunt, but now your favorite person in the entire world could see it, too. He could see how wet he made you, how getting tossed around by him made you feel. 

I… I didn’t agree to all of this. I know it isn’t right. I didn’t want it to go this far, but… How can I stop him? Why would I stop him? He’s… I love him so much! I want him to touch me, even though I know I shouldn’t--

Your thoughts were cut off by your own gasp, your body tensing and legs bending at the knee involuntarily at the sudden pleasure that rocked through your body. You knew what it was, his tongue hot and eager against your clit as he ate you out. The sounds of him lapping at your cunt and grunting in delight at the taste of you had your mind spinning, the pleasure devouring your body. Not wanting to be heard by anyone outside, you moaned and gasped into the fabric of the couch cushion, digging your nails into it as you did everything you could to not writhe out of his grip. 

You were so sensitive to his touch that you could feel everything, from his nails digging into your hips to the way his tongue piercing slid across your clit. It was as if he knew exactly how to use it to be able to drive you completely insane, the hard metal sending shocks of lightning through your body with each stroke and flick. 

“Ba-Bakugou, ahh-!” You tugged and pulled at the couch cushion in your grip, digging the toes of your boots into the floor. “It’s too much! Wait--!” 

“Too much? Don’t be such a fucking wimp. You’re my little slut, aren’t you? You can take anything I give you.” As he stood back up, you looked up at him over your shoulder, having to peek through your messy hair to see him. That wicked and excited smirk was back, and you were only able to watch as he gripped your ass in his hands, sliding his cock between your cheeks to coat himself in your essence. “And I know what you want me to give to you. You want my dick inside you, babygirl?” 

Immediately, you stomach rolled nervously, eyes on the tip of his cock and the precum dribbling from it. You were on birth control, there wasn’t necessarily anything risky about that, but there was something else that pricked at the back of your mind. If you did this with him, then you knew that you could never settle for another man. You would want him forever, as you always had, but would you ever get a chance like this again? Would you ever even see him again after today? 

It doesn’t matter… I’ll do it! 

“Yes! Yes, Bakugou, I want you.” You were surprised as he leaned away from you for a moment, though what he was doing was quickly made clear as he came back into full view with a drumstick. The way that it was beaten and chipped told you that it was one he had used that performance, and the other was probably close by, set to be discarded or handed out to fans. 

“And why do you want me?” Bakugou dug the stick into your hose, giving a sharp yank to further rip the delicate fabric and expose more of your ass to him fully. “Just because I’m your favorite of the band?” 

“No!” You couldn’t help but become defensive. “I… I care about you more than that!” You bit down onto your bottom lip as he began to run the tip of the stick across your skin towards your cunt, mind racing with thoughts of what he was going to do with it. You could still feel and see his cock between your cheeks, hot and pulsing, and you were honestly surprised that he could hold out to tease you this long. Just seeing you like this, bent over and so submissive, was enough to keep him going long enough to torture you a bit. 

“You love me? Even though I’ve slapped you, pulled your hair, and fucked your throat until you went hoarse? Even though I have your ass bent over the couch and haven’t given you any more than a few minutes of pleasure?” Suddenly, he brought the stick down hard onto your ass, making you yelp out and tremble beneath him. The pain was so good! You wanted that again, and you received it without having to ask, a moan slipping from your lips. 

“Yes! I’ll love you no matter what you do to me! Always! I love it when you throw me around and use me like this! Please, use me more! I’m your little slut, Bakugou--” You were silenced as he leaned over you, his palm pressing into the side of your face and pushing the hair roughly away from obscuring your flushed and teary features. Now with your full attention, Bakugou smirked, narrowing his eyes at you. 

“No, no, my pet. Call me by my name.” 

The heat that rushed to your face made even his burning palms feel cool, trying to blink the tears away as they rushed down the side of your nose to soak into the couch. Was he being serious? He wanted you to call him by name… by his first name. Something that he never allowed anyone but those close to him to do, and you had seen him on more than one occasion snap at people when they did it. He was huge on respect and feeling dominant over others, so to him, his given name was sacred. 

“Ka… Katsuki…” You couldn’t speak any louder than an airy whisper, though his reaction was enough to tell you that he enjoyed it. Smirk growing, Bakugou sat up from over your back, his fingers curling into your ruined hair as he began to rut his hips against you. His cock stroked slowly against your ass, his tip teasingly pressing into your cunt before slipping up back between your cheeks. 

“Again.” The drumstick still in his free hand, he brought it down hard onto the already abused and welted cheek, right as your voice had begun to leave your lips. 

“Ka-ah! Katsuki!” With another whack, your body instinctively tried to shift away from him, though all it did was off set his cock. His tip slipped into you, making you pause, both from the feeling and from the irritated growl that left his chest. 

“What a naughty little bitch, trying to get me to fuck you before I say so.” 

“N-no, it was just--” 

“-- Well if you want it so fucking bad, I’ll give it to you!” Abandoning your hair and the drumstick, he gripped your hips tightly in both hands, sinking his cock into you with one quick snap of his hips. “I’ll show you who fucking owns you!” 

You didn’t have time to think or respond as he began to fuck you, fast and hard. Already, the pleasure was overwhelming, rolling through your body like electricity. It was perfect, everything you had ever imagined and more. The way he filled you up to the absolute brim, not leaving a single inch of you untouched, had the coil in your core tightening so quickly that you couldn’t even think about how to restrain it. You were going to cum very quickly, and you had never wanted to so badly in your life. 

“How does my cock feel inside you, slut?” 

“G-good,” You struggled to choke out a response behind your moans, which squeaked with surprise as he picked up the pace. “It feels good!” 

“You want to cum all over it, don’t you?” 

“Yes!” 

“Beg for it.” 

At first, you couldn’t even comprehend what he was asking you, your mind growing hazy to everything but the pleasure. “I… please!” You reached back, clutching onto his hand tightly, digging your nails into his skin in hopes that it would keep him latched to you. “Please! Please let me cum, Katsuki! I want to cum all over your cock! I love it!” 

When the pleasure stopped, all you could do was sit there in shock, the emptiness you felt as he pulled out of you making your stomach sink. Had you said the wrong thing? Before you could really ask him, you were grabbed by the elbows and lifted up off the couch, your body flipped so you were sitting on the armrest with your legs now loosely hooked around his hips. In the next moment, his strong arms were around your body, one hooked around your hips to pull them snug against his own while the other supported your upper body. What shocked you more than that was the fierceness of his lips against yours, kissing you with intense passion and aggressiveness that you couldn’t help but to give in. 

Wrapping your arms around his torso, you moaned and gasped softly into the kiss, his hips once again rutting against yours to stroke his length against your clit. For a moment, things seemed to feel different than they had during this entire experience. It wasn’t as if he were using you anymore, doing everything entirely for his own benefit. Instead, his touch was attentive, caressing you and moving your body into position without force. Even the way he kissed you was quick to change, from dominating your mouth to a more tender sweetness. You didn’t ever want it to end, but you allowed it when he pulled away, gazing up into his piercing crimson gaze as he pressed his forehead against yours. 

“I want to see that pretty face when you cum.” The growl against your lips was teetering on threatening, as if he were warning you to not even think about turning away or hiding your face in his shoulder. “I want to see how good my cock makes you feel, baby. So cum all over it like a good girl.” As he began to sink his cock into you slowly, you couldn’t control your reactions to it, Your eyes rolling back and fluttering closed as he bottomed out inside you, even biting down onto your bottom lip as you whined. 

“Yes, Katsuki--” Your voice hitched as he began to thrust into you again, his cock reaching even deeper inside you that it had been before. “--Please watch my face… See how happy you make me!” 

“That’s right, you slut. That’s because you belong to me, don’t you? You’d do anything for me.” As he fucked you, he relied on your grip on him to keep you up, both of his hands moving to grip your hips again. As the pleasure began to boil, you dug your nails into his back, your voice spiking as he became rougher with the added pain. 

“Yes! Yes, anything! I’ll be your little slut forever, Katsuki! Just please don’t stop!” It was impossible to tear your eyes away from his even if you wanted to, but it was more than just the fact that they were intoxicating. He may have wanted to watch your face for the visual expressions of pleasure, but he didn’t realize that his demand to keep your eyes on him gave away more than he probably had expected to. There was no anger or frustration that you had seen before. Instead, he seemed absolutely overwhelmed with the pleasure himself, just as you were, and the flushing of his cheeks paired with his upwards furrowed brow gave him almost a… desperate look. Like he was pushing himself to make sure he was fucking you as well as he possibly could. 

Was he feeling some self-consciousness about all of this, too? Or regret for pushing you to this, unwillingly at first? You didn’t know, and you knew in the end he wouldn’t tell you if you asked. 

“Fucking hell, babygirl, your pussy is so fucking tight,” Bakugou pressed his forehead against yours again, wrapping his arms back around your waist to hold you closer, both to the edge of the armrest and his body. “You’re the best fuck I’ve had in months. I hope you’re ready for my cum all over that pretty face--” 

“No!” You moved your arms to wrap around his neck instead, one hand pressing against the back of his head with fingers tangled in his hair. “Come inside me! Please, Katsuki, I want you to fill me up! It’s okay--” Your voice cracked with a cry of pleasure, your encouragement pushing him to fuck you harder and deeper. 

“Then cum for me, bitch. Cum all over my cock.” 

With that command, you couldn’t hold the coil still any longer. It shattered with his movements inside you, each rough hit of his tip against your cervix only prolonging your orgasm and sending wave after wave of harsh pleasure through your body. Trembling, you squeezed onto him tightly, clutching a fist full of his hair and kissing him roughly, moaning and sighing softly into the kiss as he didn’t give you a moment to breathe. Within moments after your climax, his thrusts became slower and erratic, before he was finally able to release. 

Groaning and cursing against your lips, Bakugou kept his gaze locked with yours, not giving you any room to move or pull back as he came inside you. How hot it was coating your walls made you shiver, squeezing his hips with your thighs and pulling yourself in closer. It was an incredible high, and as you both came down from it together, you both loosened your grip on each other. 

For a moment, you stayed connected, your head on his shoulder with your forehead pressed against his neck, able to feel his pulse against your skin and his chest heaving against yours. Had all of this really just happened? You were pressed up against your crush, his arms wrapped around you with one large hand stroking up and down your back softly. It was so strange compared to his aggressive demeanor just moments before. You knew that it should have made you happy, but instead, all it did was confuse you, and you felt a new wave of tears rush down your flushed cheeks. 

Able to feel your tears run down his chest, Bakugou gave a click of his tongue, prying you off him with little pressure. In the same moment, he slipped his semi flaccid dick from within your still aching cunt, pulling his boxers back into place to cover himself. “Fucking crying again? Seriously?” 

Steadying yourself on the armrest with your hands, you kept your gaze downcast, squeezing your legs together as you could feel his cum beginning to leak out. “I’m sorry, Bakugou, I just--” 

“--Katsuki!” 

His loud correction made you jump, looking up at his face in shock as he glowered down at you. His cheeks were still flushed red, but you were unsure if it was from the exertion of what you had just done or from something else. Reaching over, Bakugou wiped your cheeks roughly with his thumbs, before giving you a bump to the bottom of your chin, as if telling you to cheer up. “I already fucking told you, psycho fan. Katsuki.” 

“Right. I… should I leave now?” 

Unsure of what to do with yourself, you stared up at Bakugou expectantly, fiddling with the hem of your skirt. With another click of his tongue, Bakugou bent over and snatched the forgotten drum stick up off the floor, taking a few steps away towards the vanity that was neatly organized with what you assumed he wore during a performance. Picking up what looked like a marker, Bakugou wrote something on the thick end of the drumstick, before presenting it to you. “Here.” 

Feeling your throat begin to close up as nerves began to take hold of you, it took you a moment to even find the courage to look at the stick, scared of what he might have written on it. Of course, it was probably just his autograph, which he had promised you at the beginning of all this. There wasn’t much time to look at it, though, before Bakugou huffed, shoving it against your chest and forcing you to grab it. “Take the damn thing!” 

Body still feeling quite weak, you squeaked as you fell backwards onto the couch from his push, clutching the drumstick tightly. You could see the tips of Bakugou’s ears flush as he scoffed, pointing towards the door that led out into the hallway. It was… cute. 

“Will you get out! Fuck, you’ve wasted enough of my time for now, go back to your friends!” 

For now…? 

Sitting up, you took a moment to fix your hair and wipe your face again, using the edge of your shirt to help you. “Do I look clean enough?” 

“You look just as fucking hot as you did when I first walked in. Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.” Walking over towards his pile of laundry, Bakugou picked up the shirt he had caught you with, tossing it at you and hitting you in the face. “And take that shit with you! You like it so much; you can have it.” 

Clutching both of your new prized possessions close to your chest, you hopped up like an excited child, smiling wide and squealing as you hopped towards the door. “Aahh, thank you, Katsuki! Thank you! I’m… sorry again for intruding…” 

“Yeah, and I’m sorry for the welts on your ass. Now fuck off!” Bakugou barked again, trying to rush you out for whatever reason. Stepping outside, you couldn’t help but take a moment to lean back against the wall when the door shut, breathing heavily and blushing fiercely. In truth, you weren’t sure what to make of that entire endeavor, thrown into a confusing mix of shame, embarrassment, arousal, and longing. You shouldn’t have done that, and yet, you just didn’t want to leave his side. 

“Got a little lost, didn’t ya, babe?” 

The squeal that left your lips was quickly doused by the t-shirt in your hand, jumping and nearly slamming yourself back against the wall in shock of the unexpected voice. Standing across the hall was Kirishima, whose presence you were surprised you didn’t notice immediately. The mischievous smirk on his lips quickly widened into a pleasant grin, uncrossing his arms and pushing himself off the wall to stand up straight. Had he been waiting for you to come out?

“You skipped the bathroom, you know! It’s down that way. I decided to come look for you before we were forced to call security guards, but I guess Bakugou found you first.” 

“A-ah, sorry! I… saw him go in his room and I just wanted an autograph.” Holding your treasures close to your chest, your stomach rolled nervously as Kirishima leaned in closer, his eyes locked on the visible part of the drumstick. 

“Aahh, I get it! Bakugou can be kind of a jerk, I’m surprised! But uh… if you want to convince anyone else that you were just getting an autograph, you should really go to the bathroom. I’m sure Bakugou didn’t give you a mirror, but you look like you had a real good time.” You could hear the tone in his voice lower from friendly to flirtatious, and you quickly tried to fix your hair. 

“H-he told me I looked fine!” 

“To him you probably do. May I?” Still grinning with a friendly disposition, you glanced at both of Kirishima’s hands as he held them up in an offering of help, before nodding timidly. He began to run his rough fingers through your hair, fixing it back into a state of normalcy with a tender touch that was so opposite to what you had just experienced with Bakugou. “You’re cute. I can see why he was so into you right away.” 

“That isn’t… normal for him?” Your eyes glanced over Kirishima’s exposed muscular arms and sides, the deep cut in the arms of his tank showing all the way to his hips. You thought you saw his smile turn sly out of the corner of your eye, but you couldn’t be sure. 

“Nah sweetheart. Bakugou might be a lot of things, but he doesn’t go for random chicks.” Seemingly satisfied, Kirishima also used his thumbs to wipe your cheeks and under your eyes. “Such a messy thing.” 

“Thank you, Kirishima… I’m… I’m really sorry for causing you trouble.” Your heartbeat grew heavier as the redhead in front of you didn’t step back, towering over you just as the blonde had. “I’ll go to the restroom and then... Back to the group.” 

With a chuckle, Kirishima nodded, tapping the end of the drumstick a few times. “You do that! I’ll meet you back there, just going to have a few words with our drummer. Careful with this stuff, yeah? Someone might just try to take it.” 

“I will…”

“Go on, then, scoot.” With a nudge, you were pushed forward down the hall gently, only taking a moment to look back at the pleasant smiling man behind you. He was so different from Bakugou and yet they were the closest friends in the band. You knew that Bakugou was going to tell him everything, and you could only hope that it was going to end up a positive conversation. You hated the thought of Kirishima spending the rest of the VIP visit looking at you in disgust, or even the possibility of him putting you down in front of everyone. 

Flustered, you scurried down the hall into the bathroom, slipping into a stall. After pushing down what was left of your hoes and your drenched thong, you plopped to sit, relieving yourself as you held the t-shirt and drumstick close to your chest. Though, it dawned on you that you hadn’t even looked at what Bakugou had written on the stick, so growing curious, you held it with both hands and spun it slowly to look over every inch. The ridges, dents, and splints in the wood were marks of every beat Bakugou had played, a solid crack down the middle representing just how powerful he was. 

In truth, you felt like that drumstick. You were always a splintered person, emotionally broken and splintered off from the world. And yet, Bakugou had touched you with his passion. But did that mean that you were truly broken now? Could you ever be used again by any other person, or would you snap into pieces the instant your heart tried to find its beat again? 

Eyes tearing up, you tried to blink them away, carefully running your finger along the crack until it met with a smudge of black writing. Unlike what you expected, there was no autograph. Instead, the words “Call Me” were scribbled in the black ink, along with a series of numbers. 

Is that… his cell phone number?! It’s different from what I had found… Those must have been fakes.

Reaching down into your boot, you pulled out your phone, having placed it there for safe keeping, though you were surprised it stayed in place the entire time in Bakugou’s room. Without an ounce of hesitation, you created his contact and started a message, sending it so quickly you didn’t even consider the consequences, though his words did ring in your ear loud enough to make you think he was right beside you. 

“Now you better fucking leave, and I expect you to do what I say.”

He said to call him, but… texting is the same, right?

Me 10:45 pm: Katsuki? 

Bakugou 10:47 pm: hey babygirl. ever been to an after party? 

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

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Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.