#i added shitty translations because it turns out that i listen to a lot of finnish music <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ripclaudia]

hii 29 & 55 !

SPOTIFY WRAPPED IS OUT!! send me a number from 1-100 and I'll tell you the song and my favorite lyric?<3

29: sata vuotta - behm "jos sul ois hukkumisen tunne / antaisin mun keuhkot sulle / niin, että sä voisit hengittää" / "if you felt like drowning / i'd give you my lungs / so that you could breathe"

55. 2020 - anna puu, olavi uusivirta "mä tulin kaukaa tulevaisuudesta / amsterdam on meren pohjassa" / "i came from far away from the future / amsterdam is at the bottom of the sea"

[kokoch4n3l]

˗ˏˋ ve kamleya ࿐ྂ "if you want to do something, go fall in love. fulfill your stubborn wish for once"

summary: in which during a deal with overseas businessmen, bonten finds out about your shitty ex from high school

pairing(s): slight bonten x desi!oc, implied mikey x desi!oc

notes: oc is punjabi cuz I said so and this is also kind of a self-insert so... title from my fav hindi song ve kamleya, the video has eng subs btw. dividers by cafekitsune

warnings: dark content 18+, canon typical violence, drug-related business(opium), drug trafficking, slight misogyny, implied/referenced ptsd, past abusive relationship, mean!manjiro, slight insensitivity, blood and gore, implied torture, implied murder, suggestive themes

word count: 3770

The smoky haze of the dimly lit room hung heavy, casting shadows that danced across the faces of the assembled men. Sano Manjiro, the imposing leader of the Bonten gang, sat at the head of the table, his steely gaze surveying the room with a mixture of authority and calm. Around him sat his trusted lieutenants, each one a force to be reckoned with in their own right. The only woman among them, commanded the attention of the room as she rose to address their guests once again after hours of debate. After all, Sano Manjiro trusted no one else to get this deal done. “I understand the… demand, for opium up in the north of India but you should also know we aren’t lowering our price either” She says in English, tone gentle yet somehow firm at the same time 

Her words hung in the air, a subtle reminder of the strength of their position in the negotiations. The guests shifted uncomfortably, keenly aware of the delicate balance of power at play. "We are prepared to meet your needs," she continued in the same language, her gaze steady. "But it must be on terms that are mutually beneficial."

One man clears his throat and speaks up finally. “You must understand Miss, we have no deficiency of suppliers, especially for opium,” The man says in English with a slight accent behind it as he casually adjusts his gold rings “The stuff from Japan is a lot higher in quality which is why we’re here doing this deal anyway. But we—”

“Because it is a lot higher in quality we cannot lower our price” She interjects with a calm smile “You know, labour costs and all” 

The man's expression tightened, his gaze flickering between her and Sano Manjiro as if weighing his options. Behind him, his companions exchanged cautious glances, sensing the tension in the air. "We understand your position," the man replied finally, his tone conceding to the reality of the situation. "But surely there's room for negotiation."

Her smile remained fixed, though her eyes betrayed no hint of compromise. "Of course, negotiations are always possible," she conceded her voice like velvet over steel. "But we must be clear on one thing: our price reflects not just the quality of our product, but the risks we undertake to supply it."

Akashi Takeomi, silent until now, leaned forward slightly. "Our operations are not without their challenges," he added, his voice low back in the same language, his accent a lot thicker than hers "But for the right partners, we are willing to mitigate those risks."

The men turn to each other and start conversing in another language and at the same time, she quietly translates to Takeomi exactly what they’re saying back in Japanese. She eyes Manjiro who’s standing in front of the large floor-to-ceiling windows of the meeting room. It looked like he was zoned out, staring at the skyline of Tokyo but she and the rest of Bonten knew better than to think that. He was listening alright, even when it didn’t look like he was. The rest were just leaning back in their chairs, bored from the constant debate. “Say, Miss…” One of the men, probably the youngest, says in English with a prominent American accent “I hear you’re from India too. What state?”

She raises her brow at the question but responds anyway. “Punjab”

The other men seem to get excited at her answer. Of course, they would. After all, what language were they speaking this entire time to each other? “Really? I knew I recognized that nose from somewhere” One man switches to Punjabi when addressing her “Women from the north are known for being beautiful. I should have known you were from there”

His change of tone catches Manjiro’s attention and he finally, since the beginning of this meeting, turns to look at the businessmen. He obviously didn’t understand what they said but his instincts were something even the executives were afraid of so she won’t doubt that he had gotten the gist of what had been said. She shifts in her seat, Takeomi and the rest of Bonten looking at her curiously. “As much as I appreciate the flattery, we still aren’t lowering our price” She replies calmly in English, knowing replying back in Punjabi would no doubt make Manjiro aggravated as he liked to know what she was saying at all times

The businessmen exchanged uneasy glances, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. Behind them, Sano Manjiro remained silent, his gaze now fixed on her with an intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. She knew that he was listening, that every word spoken in his presence was carefully scrutinized for any hint of deception or weakness. The youngest of the group seemed unfazed by her response, pressing on with his attempts at charm. "Come on, sweetheart," he said, an American accent thick even when speaking in Punjabi, with arrogance. "Surely we can come to some sort of arrangement."

Her smile tightened, a glimmer of steel beneath her gentle facade. "I'm afraid not," she replied in English, her tone cool and final. "Our price is non-negotiable."

The tension in the room was palpable, the air heavy with the weight of unspoken threats. It’s just then the door of the meeting room opens revealing a new face. “Sorry I’m late, traffic in Tokyo is—”

Manjiro waves the newcomer off. He was obviously with the other businessmen. The other executives are annoyed as hell with the lateness, after all the meeting had been going on for hours already, but don’t mention it as they’re tired. But that’s when Manjiro notices his only female executive has gone still. She’s frozen which is extremely uncharacteristic of her and it worries him. So he does the first thing that comes to mind. “How about we take a break.” He says, voice low and everyone knows it’s not an offer but a command

Manjiro headed for the door of the meeting room and his executives followed behind, Takeomi having to literally drag her to stand at one point. They’re in the elevator. Manjiro eyes her as she removes her red-bottomed heels from her feet, sighing in relief. The elevator is going up to the top floor. “Any weaknesses so far?” Kakucho asks, his voice breaking the silence

“Punctuality apparently” Ran mutters in annoyance 

They all look toward her, wondering what she had to say but instead, she’s silent, holding her heels in one hand, leaning against the elevator wall looking very out of breath. Rindo snaps his fingers in front of her face. “Dude” he says

“Hm?” she looks up at him, uncharacteristically dazed

Usually, she would have snapped at him, kicked Rindo in the shin or threatened to stab him with her heels but no, she didn’t. It was… concerning. Her uncharacteristic behaviour caught everyone’s attention. She isn’t usually like this— quiet, dazed and unconfident. No one is sure what to say, not even Kakucho who was Bonten’s collective impulse control and unlicenced and unpaid therapist. The elevator reaches the top floor and they file out of the elevator, into the private lounge. They watch in silence as she sits on the long circular-shaped couch, her heels dropped carelessly to the floor as she puts her hair up, revealing the hanafuda full moon tattoo on the back of her neck— on the same location as Manjiro has his. Manjiro takes a seat next to her and the rest sit on the couch too, staring. She looks at them, narrowing her eyes a bit. “What?”

“We should be asking you that” Mochi says as he lights himself a cigarette 

Her gaze lingered on each member of Bonten in turn, her expression inscrutable, as if weighing her words carefully before speaking. The tension in the room tightened like a taut wire, anticipation thrumming through the air. "I'm fine," she finally replied, her tone clipped, though the strain in her voice was evident to those who knew her well. "Too many languages just making my head hurt"

The response did little to ease the unease that had settled over the group like a heavy fog. They had seen her weather countless storms with unyielding resolve, her strength a pillar upon which they had come to rely. But now, faced with her uncharacteristic vulnerability, they found themselves at a loss for how to proceed. Manjiro studied her carefully, his keen eyes searching for any sign of deception or weakness. He knew her better than anyone and understood the walls she erected to shield herself from the world. But beneath the facade of stoicism, he sensed a flicker of genuine concern, a vulnerability she had never shown before. “Nah uh,” Sanzu says rolling his eyes “You started being all weird when the motherfucker who doesn’t know how to be on time showed up”

She shifts uncomfortably. It seems Sanzu’s observation was a hit. Her discomfort was palpable, her usual confidence shaken by the blunt observation. She shifted in her seat, a flicker of uncertainty betraying her stoic facade. The others watched her closely, their expressions a mix of concern and curiosity, unsure of how to proceed. Sanzu's words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the tension that had simmered beneath the surface since the newcomer's arrival. She felt the weight of their expectations bearing down on her, the pressure to maintain her composure in the face of mounting scrutiny. "I..." She began, her voice trailing off as she struggled to find the right words. 

She couldn’t find an excuse. But even as she stayed silent, she could feel the disapproving stares of her companions, their silent judgment weighing heavily upon her. Manjiro, ever the astute leader, sensed her distress and moved to intervene. "Enough," he declared, his voice cutting through the tension like a knife. "This conversation is over."

His authoritative tone brooked no argument, and the others fell silent, their eyes darting between her and their leader. “Go back to the meeting the rest of you”

Rest of you meaning, everyone leave and Manjiro and her stay. Without a word, the others rose from their seats, casting one last glance at her before filing out of the room. As the door closed behind them, a heavy silence descended, leaving only Manjiro and her alone in the private lounge. Manjiro looks at her, black eyes a bottomless pit of nothing. “What’s wrong?” He asks

There was no room for reflecting on his question. Manjiro was direct and needed answers as to why his best negotiator had suddenly frozen up in the midst of a deal. “You know him” It wasn’t a question this time but an observation

Manjiro understood the intricacies of their world better than anyone, and he knew the dangers that lurked beneath the surface of even the most seemingly innocuous interactions. The newcomer's presence had disrupted the delicate balance of power, setting off alarm bells in her mind that she couldn't ignore. “I um… I…” She isn’t able to get her words out

He gives her a look. “Tell me” It’s a command

She shifts uncomfortably. She fiddles with her white gold rings, they glimmer under the artificial lighting. “That’s my ex…”

Manjiro raises a brow. Her admission hung heavy in the air, the weight of her revelation settling like a leaden cloak upon them both. Manjiro's expression remained unreadable, though a flicker of concern danced in the depths of his obsidian eyes. "Your ex…" he repeated, his voice betraying no emotion.

She nodded, her throat constricting with the weight of unspoken memories and unresolved emotions. She had hoped to keep her past firmly buried in the depths of her mind, but now, confronted with Manjiro's unwavering gaze, she found herself unable to hide the truth any longer. "He... he wasn't supposed to be here," she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. "I thought... I thought I could handle it, but..."

Her words trailed off, lost in the suffocating silence that enveloped them. She could feel the weight of Manjiro's scrutiny bearing down upon her, his gaze penetrating as he searched for some semblance of understanding in her haunted eyes. “And what did he do for my best negotiator to react like a psychiatric patient just at the sight of him?”

She shifts again but this time he holds her thigh to stop her from moving. There was no getting out of this conversation. Manjiro always got what he wanted and right now he wanted answers. “I… I dated him in high school”

It’s been years. She knows Manjiro is gonna belittle her for being this way over something that ended years ago but… She spills. She tries her best to tell him vaguely what happened— trying to be as vague as possible but Manjiro just keeps asking for more details. He wanted to know everything and once he was satisfied he pulled out his phone and typed something then threw it carelessly on the table. “Is that why you don’t date or sleep around like the others do?” He asks bluntly “Because of what he did?”

Manjiro looked angry. It was odd seeing an actual emotion in his eyes for once even if it was anger. She gulps. Oh man did she hate her stupid ex right now. It had been years since they broke up or well, since she forced the break up because he refused to let her leave. That stupid asshole traumatized her so badly that now even though she was an executive for Japan’s most ruthless and dangerous gang, he made her want to throw up from fear. “I’m sorry—”

“Shut up” Manjiro says lowly but she keeps going

“No, it was extremely unprofessional and I shouldn’t let my personal feelings come in the middle of work—”

He cuts her off again, grabbing her face and squeezing her cheeks together. Her lips jut out a bit from the action. The tips of Manjiro’s fingers dig into her cheeks and her skin warms under his touch, turning the most endearing shade of pink he’s ever seen. “And what exactly are you apologizing for?” Manjiro mutters looking annoyed

She thinks he might just shoot her, empty his Glock out in her head and get Sanzu or Koko to call the cleaners to get rid of her body and turn her into fishbait. “F-For fucking up the deal…” She tries saying as he squeezes her face tighter with the tips of his fingers

Manjiro chuckles and it has to be one of the scariest things she’s heard in her life. “Wrong. Apologize for dating such an ugly little bitch”

“... huh?”

She thinks she’s hearing things. “You heard me,” Manjiro says nonchalantly “apologize” 

Her heart pounded in her chest as she struggled to comprehend the meaning behind his words. Was this some twisted form of punishment? Or was there something else, something more insidious, at play here? With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, She realized that she was treading dangerous waters, her every move scrutinized by the man before her. And as she searched his eyes for some semblance of understanding, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to his demand than met the eye. Sanzu and Rindo often joked that she got away with a lot of things and Manjiro was the most lenient with her. Was Manjiro finally giving her the punishment she deserved for all the other times she fucked up? Oh man, no way she was going to die because of her stupid bitch ass ex. “Hey” He says snapping her out of her thoughts

She looks at him. “The deal is off. I don’t want it to go through anyway”

Her eyes widen at his words. “Wait w-what—”

But Manjiro's expression remained impassive, his gaze unwavering as he met her eyes. There was a hardness in his stare, a determination that sent a shiver down her spine. "I said the deal is off," he repeated, his tone firm.

Her mind raced as she tried to make sense of Manjiro's decision. Was this punishment for her perceived failure? Or was there something else at play, something she couldn't quite grasp? As she searched his eyes for some clue, some hint of understanding, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Manjiro's actions than met the eye. Manjiro's gaze held a steely resolve as she struggled to comprehend his abrupt decision. The implications of the deal falling through reverberated through the room, casting a shadow over their carefully laid plans. But beneath the surface, she sensed a tension, a hidden undercurrent that hinted at something deeper. "Why?" she asked, her voice tinged with confusion and a hint of desperation. "Why cancel the deal?"

Manjiro's expression softened ever so slightly, a flicker of something akin to regret in his eyes. It was a rare moment of vulnerability, one that sent a jolt of uncertainty coursing through her veins. "Because some things are more important than business," Manjiro replied, his voice low and measured.

Her mind raced as she tried to make sense of his cryptic words. What could be more important than securing Bonten's position in the underworld? What could possibly justify throwing away the opportunity they had worked so hard to achieve? But before she can speak, he lets go of her face and his hand slides to the back of her neck, the tips of his fingers now digging into her— his— tattoo. Almost as if he could read her mind he asks, “Are you questioning my authority?”

She doesn’t dare move away from him or shake her no to answer him. Manjiro didn’t like being answered with gestures, he preferred words. “N-No…”

“Good” he says 

Manjiro's hand lingered on the back of her neck, his touch was both possessive and unsettling. She could feel the weight of his gaze upon her, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that made her breath catch in her throat. His nails slightly dig into the knobs of her spine, right on the tattoo. It doesn’t hurt but it feels hot. One thing Manjiro often reminded her of is that Bonten was his. That included the executives and that especially included her. Her life belonged to him and he clearly wasn’t taking her being afraid of someone that wasn’t him very nicely. “You’re really gonna let a guy like that stop you from ever falling in love again?”

The question almost stopped her heart because it was not what she expected him to ask. She had never expected Manjiro to broach such a sensitive topic, let alone express concern for her romantic endeavours. But beneath the surprise, a flicker of something else stirred within her—a yearning for something more, something beyond the confines of Bonten's ruthless world. "I..." she faltered, her voice barely above a whisper. 

How could she explain the depths of her fear, the scars that her past had left upon her soul? How could she make him understand the tangled web of emotions that had kept her trapped in the shadow of her own memories? But before she could formulate a response, Manjiro's hand tightened on the back of her neck, his grip possessive yet strangely comforting. "You don't have to answer now," he said, his voice softer than before but it quickly went back to being harsh “I am disappointed though”

His hand holding her thigh comes up to hold her cheek now. She’s frozen, unsure of what to do. "How could my executive let a little bitch like that do that to her and not move on for years?" Manjiro's voice was low, his words cutting through the silence like a knife.

Her mind raced as she struggled to find the right words to say. How could she explain the depths of her pain, the scars that her past had left upon her soul? How could she make him understand the tangled web of emotions that had kept her trapped in the shadow of her own memories? But before she could formulate a response, Manjiro's thumb brushed against her cheekbone, his touch both intimate and unsettling. She felt a surge of vulnerability wash over her, a raw honesty that threatened to shatter the carefully constructed walls she had built around her heart. "I... I don't know," She finally whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "I'm sorry..." 

Manjiro's grip on her cheek tightened, his touch both gentle and commanding. He held her gaze with an intensity that made her feel as though he could see straight through to her soul. "Sorry doesn't change the past," he murmured, his voice a low rumble in the quiet room.

She felt a knot form in her stomach at his words, a familiar sense of guilt and inadequacy washing over her. She had spent years trying to bury the pain of her past, to escape the memories that haunted her every waking moment. But now, confronted with Manjiro's unwavering gaze, she couldn't help but feel as though she had failed him in some fundamental way. "I know…" she replied softly, her voice barely audible above the sound of her own heartbeat.

Manjiro's thumb traced a slow, soothing pattern against her cheekbone, his touch a silent reassurance amidst the storm of emotions raging within her. Finally, after a long moment of silence, he speaks up “Fall in love again…”

His words are unexpected but she also makes no move to pull back from him. “Is that an order, Mr. Sano?”

Finally, Manjiro smiles. It’s genuine. Or at least it seems genuine. “Yes. Yes it is”

“Did you call the clean-up crew?” Ran asks Koko who’s cleaning the blood of his shoes

Koko nods wordlessly, a look of annoyance on his face as he had just bought these damn shoes yesterday. “Let’s go back up” Takeomi says as he lights a cigarette, stepping over a dead body of one of the businessmen

“Maybe not” Kakucho interjects as his eyes are on his phone, cheeks a little flushed

He shoves it into his pocket and shakes his head at his fellow colleagues. For a moment they’re silent until— “fuckin’ hell” Mochi grumbles as he transfers 10 thousand into Ran’s account

“See I fuckin’ told you he’d fuck her” Ran says with a shrug, eyes lighting up at the notification on his phone signalling the transfer had been made and completed

Their conversation is cut out with a loud scream as Sanzu stabs his katana through her ex’s chest. They look towards him and the pink-haired male simply shrugs. 

[xiexiecaptain]

Shadow & Bone rewatch live-commenting that was started on twitter and is being moved/continued here!

This is the post for EP 03: The Making at the Heart of the World

[Episode 01 post] [Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

((There WILL be spoilers mentioned for the books in the Grishaverse including the Crows duology & King of Scars duology! This is basically from the perspective of watching the show as someone who knows the books well.))

--

I like that we're getting to hear her letters to Mal in voice over because it returns some of the interiority we've lost through the translation from 1st person narrative to screen 

bUT immediately my brain supplied the hilarious AU that Mal runs one of those Dear Abby advice columns

-

*sob laughs in Book 2*

--

GENYA!!! SHE'S HERE!

God I love Genya 

And the way Daisy Head carries herself here, the polished demeanor, all of it is so Genya

--

This was such a great moment between them 

And even though Genya had to do what she does later on, you can tell she's really earnest about how quickly she warms to Alina

--

THESE TWO BICKER LIKE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE AND IM LIVING FOR IT

["Good to know Van Eck didn't cure you of sentiment."

"Glad to be back, Kaz."]

--

SHE'S HERE, THE GLORIOUS, THE INCOMPERABLE NINA ZENIK

--

Lmao right "despises" 

As in "the two people I'll fall in love with in my life will both be Fjerdans"

--

That fight scene !!!!!!!

What a fckin badass I absolutely adore Nina 

Everyone needs a Nina Zenik in their life tbh

--

This is the SECOND time I've noticed Jesper randomly helping himself to food/drink from other people's tables/houses and I fucking love it (he also did it in Dreesen’s basement)

Kit Young is a gift

--

Wraith mode: activated

--

The way his gaze lingers and he stays turned toward the window for a solid few seconds after she's gone-!!!

--

He tries to stop himself, he really does!!! 

Can we just appreciate in general the nuanced and compassionate, yet realistic way addiction is portrayed with Jesper's character???

(Not to mention the fact we see TWO portrayals of addiction in this series--psychological addiction with Jesper and physical addiction with Nina) 

Like, it's not a comic relief bit--it legitimately has life-altering consequences for both Jesper, all his loved ones, and those he works with. 

We see Jesper both deny to himself and others he has a Problem, yet also struggle against it 

["Why didn't you just stop?" Jesper wanted to laugh. He had pleaded with himself, screamed at himself to stop.]

He fucks up and hurts people he (and we the readers) love because of it. Yet the narrative remains continuous in its portrayal of Jesper as someone with steadfastly good intentions and a good heart who is struggling with unhealed issues

["There's a wound in you, and the tables, the dice, the cards--they feel like medicine. They soothe you, for a time. But they're poison, Jesper."] 

 Listen, I just have a lot of Feelings about Jesper Fahey

--

Alina Starkov is truly a woman of the people

--

SA mention////

"Ah, our shitty monarchs: The rapist king, the queen whose focus on appearance trumps any real issues, and the vapid entitled weasel of a prince. The only decent one among them, I've disguised so he could go play pirate to help Ravka by doing Ocean Crimes."

--

Yes, I hate him 

Yes, he is occasionally funny

--

Yeah this was fckin shitty of her and I’m definitely not excusing it ever

But its interesting seeing this understanding where it’s coming from re: Zoya’s heritage.

Zoya's got so much internalized racism and fear around being mixed race herself because of her upbringing, seeing how not only just her father was treated but Suli in general

She's lashing out because she's afraid and conflicted

And she's also feeling jealous and uncertain about her place being favored by the Darkling (which he has fostered because he's a manipulator of the worst kind)

--

Kaz carrying Milo the goat and looking absolutely Done will never not be funny to me

--

More show-added worldbuilding appreciation from me

The posters styled after Bolshevik revolution/soviet propaganda posters is such a wonderful touch by the props/set folks 

And again, the invented script for written Ravkan (and all the languages, but we’ve mostly just seen Ravkan and Kerch written so far) makes my linguist nerd heart sing

--

Kaz: initiate mastermind scanners for useful information and/or potential blackmail

Kaz: BEEP BEEP impending betrayal detected 

Kaz: initiate 5-D chess-level planning consisting of labyrinthine layers upon layers of traps, feints, and manipulation

--

I love that they gave her a physical object for Inej related to her family.

In the books (again, because of interiority) we get literal flashbacks of them, as well as many phrases from her parents she repeats or hears internally ("The heart is an arrow...", "Climb, Inej")

But that’s not easily translated to a visual medium. So instead we get this great little physical/visual token of that. 

It does such heavy lifting not only in that it shows us how deeply Inej's faith directs her morals (like how torn she was when Arken connected over their faith), but also shows how much she still holds the memory/hope of her family close to her; that she's never accepted that her life in Ketterdam was just it now.

 Good, good storytelling work

--

ARE YOU TALKING TO HER OR TO YOURSELF, KAZ?????? 

That little glance down and then away-!!!

And then immediately he's harsh and cruel about it to try and push her away from him--to push hIMSELF away from her!!! 

Fucking helllll

--

 I'm so glad they basically got to keep Nina's and Matthias' story the same (aside from minor details obv) down to exact lines 

Danielle Galligan and Calahan Skogman breathe such life into the cores of these characters and all their nuances

[Matthias had always fought his own decency. To become a drüskelle, he’d had to kill the good things inside him.]

 All through this episode, even in this first scene, you can see Nina's words start to scratch away at him

He's gonna have her in his head for the rest of the night

--

Jesper Fahey, everyone

--

LOVE THE WHOLE CONCEPT! 

Love this addition to the world, love how it's not finished/is kinda ramshackle with sliding between the two tracks, love the weird systems set up he's developed to cross multiple times with the sound of hitting the metal, love it all

--

I'm so happy Nadia is a black woman!!! 

We get so many queer characters of color! I can't wait until we get Tamar (and Tolya ofc) introduced in the show so we can have the badass wlw couple we deserve

--

BOTKIN!! So glad he makes an appearance!! 

I could so easily him being cut from another version of an adaption so this makes me so happy

Part of what endeared Botkin to me in the book was how, even though he is a harsh teacher, he always treated Alina like every other student and demanded her best work 

Like "idc you're the sun summoner, your right hook is pathetic!"

--

ALINA KNOWING HOW TO THROW A PROPER PUNCH BC MAL TAUGHT HER IS 🙏🙏🙏

--

Like I know this is supposed to establish character dynamics and how Zoya has this social position she's defending and how Alina is gaining credibility 

But me & my gay-ass brain just went like "Ok but I would let Zoya punch me in the face and I would say THANK YOU"

--

If only I were so lucky 😔💦

Somewhere, King of Scars!Nikolai getting shackled to his bed by Zoya every night for his own safety just liked this^^^ as a tweet

--

See, Nadia gets me 

She's pickin' up what I'm puttin' down

This also establishes Nadia’s type is women who can knock your lights out and smirk, which is good news for future Tamar

--

And we here see in Alina's face the echoed experiences of women, femmes, and assumed-women everywhere having forced unwanted interactions with creepy dudes

--

Zoë Wanamaker is soooooo good as Baghra, hot damn 

A fellow Zoë out there making us proud

Another character I can’t wait to see interact with Nikolai on screen because their relationship is hilarious to me

--

I've mentioned it before, but the show more heavily leaning into the idea that Grisha power can sort of be drawn out or kicked on by sudden pain and/or fear is such an interesting one

Because it implies about the nature of Grisha power that it developed similar to other unconscious survival mechanisms--like adrenaline numbs out bad injuries or allows muscles to surpass normal limits, its something that helps keep Grisha stay alive in a life or death situation

--

"I WISH I WERE WITH Y- ...WITH THE FIRST ARMY" 

I'M-!!!!!

--

SEE? THIS IS THE SHIT I LOVE 

The worldbuilding always contains all these tiny details that realistically reflect how humans build clever systems over time to address issues and get what/where they want to

--

Alina's fuckign face-

--

I CANT GET OVER THIS 

Yes, the emotional support goat was Absolutely Mission Critical

--

I'M FUCKIN EMOTIONAL BC I just noticed when Arken says the situation is dire, please take note of how Kaz isn't even looking at him, he's staring diRECTLY AT INEJ sitting across from him?????

--

[That sound--the swift, shocking report of gunfire--called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.]

[...Jesper could feel himself coming alive, the worry that had been dogging his steps ... falling away. He felt free, dangerous, like lightning rolling over the prairie.]

[He'd knew his guns better than he knew the rules of Makker's Wheel. Jesper focused on the bullet, sensed the smallest parts of it. Maybe he was the same. A bullet in a chamber, spending his whole life waiting for the moment he would have direction.]

--

So I just want to examine the Crows' "we were pretty sure we were going to die but we actually pulled through and are somehow still alive???" reactions for a minute:

1) Inej, ofc, her first reaction is prayer which makes me emotional 

And then, she looks over at Kaz because she wants to see if this finally shook something loose from that cold exterior (because tbh, at this point, it's probably the first time she's ever witnessed Kaz escape death first-hand)

2)  How fucking beautiful Jesper looks?? 😍😍

[Jesper's hair was mussed, his pupils dilated. He seemed almost drunk, or like he’d just rolled out of someone’s bed. He always had that look after a fight.]

3) And Kaz, of course as always, is looking at Inej (and then looking away from it all) 

It's gonna get you in big trouble one day, Kaz

AND how Inej and Kaz hold eye contact for a moment before they both look away???

--

And I feel Malina in this chili's tonight

--

Oh! Something I forgot to add I noticed during the train fight scene, Arken has these depictions of saints hung up on the walls!!!! 

Again, major major ups to the prop/set people for adding all these small details!! It makes the world feel so full and lived in!

--

So that's the end of episode 3! 

Wheee I fuckin' love the Grishaverse and my beloved Crows and we're so lucky to have this cast

[Rewatch Commentary Links Masterpost]

[from-the-dark-past]

Interview with Anders Ohlin in The Black Metal Murders: English translation

Translator’s note: Black metal-morden (English: The Black Metal Murders) is a radio documentary from 2017 produced by Radio Sweden (download). It’s about Mayhem and the Norwegian black metal scene in the ‘90s and contains interviews with Jørn “Necrobutcher” Stubberud, Kjetil Manheim, Eirik “Messiah” Norheim and Anders Ohlin (Pelle Ohlin’s younger brother). 

Here, I’ve translated the parts where Anders Ohlin speaks into English (from Swedish). I’ve added time-stamps and short descriptions for the different sections of the interview. 

I am working on translating the interviews with Necrobutcher, Manheim and Messiah and will post them soon. 

1:51 - 6:35 [Talking about him and Pelle getting into extreme metal]

Anders: We’d started listening to hard rock and it was… We’d, like, worked through all of those… Judas Priest and Iron Maiden. 

Narrator: It’s the mid-1980s in Västerhaninge, a suburb of Stockholm. Pelle Ohlin lives here. He plays in the extreme metal band Morbid and his stage name is Dead. Pelle has introduced his five-years-younger brother to hard rock. Together, they’ve worked through all of the main bands. 

Anders: And you, like, hungered for this… This Other. 

Narrator: The ‘Other’ that younger brother Anders is talking about is extreme metal; music that is faster, darker and harder. A progression of hard rock. Music that isn’t easy to get your hands on at this time. Anders is in his early teens and has gotten his first girlfriend. 

Anders: It was my first relationship and it was super-exciting, and I was at her house, she lived in Jordbro, which is, like, the neighbouring suburb. 

Narrator: Anders’ girlfriend’s older sister has an LP that Anders simply must show his older brother Pelle. 

Anders: It was, like, you knew it was good music, and it was that Destruction record. 

Narrator: Anders sees the German death metal band Destruction’s cover and it’s enough for him to understand that this must be good music. [...] 

Anders: This. This here isn’t Judas Priest and it isn’t Iron Maiden; it’s something else. I’ve got show this fucking record to Pelle. 

Narrator: Anders nags [his girlfriend’s older sister] to borrow the LP. He’s allowed to, but only for the day, so he bikes home in the rain from Jordbro to Västerhaninge as quickly as he can. 

Anders: And it was like [excited noise], like a cartoon; the evil wolf, their eyes bulge out and we both ran -- because we hadn’t heard the LP, only seen the cover -- ran to the record player och then Mom walks up and is like: ‘Stop! You’re forbidden from using the gramophone.’ And it was like, fucking hell, is it going to die here and then we explained to Mom -- ‘This is an extreme record and we’ve borrowed it for the day and it’s going back tomorrow,’ -- and Mom was super-harsh and was like: ‘It doesn’t matter. [...]’ And then we started negotiating and agreed that we could record the LP onto cassette [because you don’t need volume for that]. So, it was on full-blast the entire night and we recorded it and stood bent over the record scratches and were like,‘Shit, this is good stuff’. 

Narrator: Pelles hard rock style stands out against the usual sweatpant-Bagheera-jacket [style], not least the music. 

Anders: The ideals that existed at that time were that you were supposed to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, which neither he nor I did [laughs]. You were supposed to be handsome and cool and have some fucking helipad on your head. 

Translator’s note: Anders is talking about a flat-top haircut commonly referred to as a ‘helikopterplattafrisyr’ -- helipad haircut -- in Sweden. Think H.R. Haldeman. I’m not sure what the English term for this haircut is. 

Narrator: Anders and Pelle are apart of a small subculture; extreme metal, with subgenres such as trash metal, death metal and black metal, which provokes with its satanic and morbid symbols. Pelle’s band Morbid pushes the limits of what music can sound like. With his stage-name Dead, Pelle sings on the demo December Moon. The new subculture is not embraced by the adult world. 

Anders: Like, we faced this fucking cultural oppression as hardrockers. It was that time-period… And especially if you wanted to do something that was worse than hard rock; it was completely judged. 

14:52 - 15:53 [Talking about Pelle being bullied] 

Anders: He was beaten at school and to such an extent that he actually died for a while, or however you put it. 

Narrator: There’s an explanation to Pelle’s obsession with death. At 13, he was bullied at school and once, he was beaten so badly that his spleen burst. Pelle’s brother Anders Ohlin tells the story.

Anders: He was beaten to death and had some near-death experience as he was laying in the hospital and he kept coming back to that all the time, and I think you can see that as some sort of theme in his songs too. Like, it’s always about the fact that he was actually there and touched something that he doesn’t know what it is, and that was the engine in all that. He was definitely [at the bottom of the pecking order] at school, precisely because he was a bit… He had his special... his special style and was, like, uncompromising, and that was what singled him out, I’d say, markedly from other teenagers. 

18:07 - 18:30 [Talking about Pelle’s depression]

Anders: He would neglect to eat, just to get a cassette tape out or arrange a gig somewhere. 

Narrator: Anders Ohlin, Pelle’s brother. 

Anders: To be a bit harsh, I think that the others gave up at some point. And that’s my personal interpretation. That he suddenly turns around and notices that he hasn’t got the gang with him. And I think that destroyed him. 

21:50 - 22:30 [Talking about Pelle’s suicide] 

Anders: At first, I was actually really pissed at him… Or, like, angry, enraged. I thought that he’d abandoned us -- which he has. That it was so shitty of him; to just take off and leave this big fucking abscess to the rest of us that just kept growing and growing as the years passed. 

Narrator: Christmases become especially painful for the Ohlin family, because that was the time Pelle usually came home. 

Anders: No one felt good on Christmas Eve. It was like a fucking ghost all Christmas. Brutal. So, I remember that I couldn’t celebrate Christmas at all for a very long time. 

1:06:39 - 1:09:31 [Talking about how he and Pelle’s Swedish friends remember him and his life today]

Anders: All of his Swedish friends see him as this exuberantly happy guy that spews ideas and is funny and has a sense of humor and stuff. Then, it’s like a line is drawn when he goes to Norway and they see him as introverted and mysterious and, like, difficult. And that’s two opposite images. 

Narrator: The Pelle Myth is associated with a lot of darkness and death but that’s not how his brother Anders and Pelle’s Swedish friends remember him.  

Anders: I think that’s been the devastating part, but it, like, helped him build… strengthen that myth. It’s hard being that funny dude and saying that you’re, like, Satan. It’s hard, it becomes, like, silly. 

Narrator: Anders is often reminded of Pelle. Usually because of happy memories but also because of that image that he is fighting to remove; the image that Øystein took of Pelle’s corpse which spread because it became the album cover of a Mayhem bootleg, Dawn of the Black Hearts. The image lives its own life on the internet. 

Anders: It’s difficult. It’s very difficult. 

Narrator: Pelle’s fans often want to become Facebook friends with Anders; he receives 3-5 friend requests per day. Sometimes, the people sending the friend requests have themselves shared the image on their social channels. 

Anders: You say you want to be my friend yet you have an image of my brother from when he’s just killed himself and like… body parts all over the wall. Would you think it was okay if I had an image of your brother like that? ‘What,’ they excuse themselves. ‘Oh, fuck, I’d forgotten that I had that image, that’s… Of course, I’ll remove it and I’m ashamed.’ 

Narrator: When Anders asks people to remove the image, most do. 

Anders: I’m terrified for when my children will start to Google those images… Øystein’s parents inherited the rights after Øystein died and [Øystein’s dad] has destroyed the images and I’ve received the rights, gotten to take over the rights from Øystein’s dad, so if anyone uses them in any form is printed media, I can sue the shit out of them. 

Narrator: It’s a small comfort every time one of Pelle’s fans tells Anders how much Pelle means. 

Anders: Most often, they have some story. They tell me how they’ve had a tough period in life and how they’ve, like, really been at a crossroads or something and feel that they received guidance from Pelle’s music. That warms -- That makes you happy. That really warms your heart. 

Narrator: Pelle’s grave is well-visited and every now and then, there’s a handwritten letter or a box of snus by it. 

[todomitoukei]

hello! japanese learner anon here ^^

how are you? how are things?

things are okay on my end. i’m kind of contemplating quitting japanese lessons because i’m burnt out. my sensei has this tendency to rarely praise or compliment someone for their efforts in learning japanese. unless you eat sleep and breathe japanese, then you’re not really putting the effort. he mad a jab about me in the groupchat and i’m honestly too tired to respond.

since march, i’ve been waking up very early (i’m unemployed) to study vocabulary. i now review 16 lessons worth of vocabulary for two hours, work on some home work in the afternoon for two hours more and use japatalk twice a week to speak to native japanese people. i have difficulties with listening (audios are way too fast) and sentence creation but i consider myself to be very good! especially when we’re asked why a particle is added here. i’ve also improved my reading and translation skills and im very happy with my achievements in japanese these year. even when i started becoming burnt out last month, i still pushed through.

however, we took a midterm two weeks ago and i got a 56/100 and i was in total disbelief. it’s like i didn’t study or learning anything at all! sensei said he intentionally made it very difficult for us and wanted it to be challenging and he said the reason why my score is so low is because of the listening portion. okay true but i’d understand more of i scored around the 70s not 50s like??

i wish i could enroll with another teacher but he’s the only one that i know of that teaches japanese in great detail and can explain it in arabic (my native language) and english. plus, i spent a lot of money and effort to just give up.

sorry this turned into a rant but i feel like you’re the only one who gets me 🥺

Hi there!

I've been good! I have a busy week ahead of me because my parents are going on vacation tomorrow (guess who gets to drive them to the airport at 2.30 in the morning...) but I'm going to a concert soon and going on vacation next month so I'm super excited about those things!!

First things first, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with a shitty teacher like that. Not sure why someone like that is a teacher when they're clearly not fit for the job...

I'm not sure if you're just considering quitting your Japanese classes or studying in general, but I definitely think that if the class and teacher aren't for you, then forcing yourself to suffer through it isn't the solution. You can keep studying on your own though, and based on what you're saying here, I've got a few tips for you that might help you:

First of all, you're spending too much time reviewing vocab. I used to be just like that and it wasn't as helpful as I thought it was and kept me from progressing better and faster. For a long time, all I did was learn vocab and grammar, without ever using it for anything by reading, etc. The thing is - there is only so much input your brain can handle and two hours is way too much.

Instead, I recommend reducing that time to maybe 15 minutes and using the rest of those 2 hours doing other things like reading. Doing something like comprehensible input (meaning you understand 80-90% already) is super helpful because you can either use this to learn new vocab/grammar without it being too much, or you can just consume content without looking up what you don't understand because most of the time, you can just fill in the blanks from context.

I used to watch a lot of crime shows when I was younger and whenever they would talk about medicine/science, I wouldn't understand shit but I still got the point and was able to enjoy the story. So doing comprehensible input or even consuming content "below" your level - meaning you understand pretty much everything - is a great way to just get used to seeing vocab and grammar in context and get used to sentence patterns without it feeling like studying.

Aside from the fact that you're gonna feel less burnt out by spending less time doing pure studying, what's really good is that you mentioned what you struggle with. Identifying your weak points is the first step in improving in those areas. So if you don't struggle so much with vocab, but more with listening, then focus more on the listening part.

Here are a few of my favorite YouTube channels that I highly recommend you use for practicing your listening. These channels are all made for Japanese learners so they're not too fast or difficult:

Comprehensible Japanese: Yuki talks about all kinds of topics and uses a whiteboard to draw while talking to visualize what is being said. She also repeats words and uses synonyms. The channel has three playlists that categorize the videos into difficulty levels from complete beginner to intermediate. I recommend watching ALL the videos. Again, you don't have to learn anything new here, this is all about practicing your listening.

あかね的日本語教室: Akane is a Japanese teacher who makes videos that are aimed at intermediate and above students, but even if you don't understand everything, just getting used to hearing the language and trying to pick up as many words as possible is a great practice.

Japanese with Shun: There are videos and podcasts that are for beginner to intermediate learners. A lot of videos also mention in the description which JLPT level they correspond with so you can choose a video that matches your current level.

しのせんせい: This channel has two main video formats: 'Daily News in Simple Japanese' and 'Learn Japanese Through Story' - all the videos have text on the screen and some vocab listed. What I recommend here is to listen to the video once without reading the text. Then watch again this time reading the text and looking up any words you don't know. Then watch again and see how much you can pick up now.

Aside from listening, you also mentioned that you struggle with creating sentences. Input (listening and reading) will help you a lot with this already because exposing yourself to sentence patterns, etc. will help you to easily memorize them. But I have two tips for improving on this through output:

Shadowing: This means listening to native material and repeating what you hear. You can also use the above-mentioned YouTube channels for this. Since those channels are beginner friendly, they are spoken slowly and have lots of pauses, giving you enough time to repeat what you heard without missing the next sentence. The last channel I recommend is especially good for this since the text is on the screen so instead of having to focus on listening + repeating, you just have to read + repeat. Speaking is all about muscle memory, which is why shadowing is a good way to get your mouth used to speaking Japanese. It can also help you memorize vocab, sentence patterns, etc. so it's a win-win situation.

Journaling: This doesn't have to be fancy. Just writing a couple of sentences in Japanese every day can go a long way. There are a few options for you here: you can use a physical journal, an app that lets you journal/take notes, or an app where a native speaker and correct you (i.e. HelloTalk). I especially recommend the last option because that way, you won't just keep making the same mistakes without knowing. The best way to do this is to have a separate notebook where you write down the mistakes you have made and their corrections. Go over those at the end of the week to see what you struggle with. Is there grammar or vocab you're using incorrectly? If so, go over those grammar points or words again. Keeping a daily journal is really helpful. Even if your sentences may seem plain and repetitive to you, you'll quickly memorize basic sentence patterns and build up on those over time. And remember - it doesn't have to be perfect, it's okay to make mistakes! People have a tendency to try and be perfect, but to tell you the truth, native speakers make mistakes too! And with English, I honestly... stopped caring. If I make a mistake, so be it. Language is there to communicate your thoughts, so as long as you can get the point across, who cares? So don't feel discouraged if you made a mistake or couldn't 100% accurately say what you wanted to say. A little is more than nothing.

I know the language learning process can be a struggle. And having a teacher that does nothing but discourages you isn't helping. But just think about the fact that there was a time when you didn't know any Japanese and now you can already speak to Japanese people so you clearly have a foundation already and the ability to progress.

Like I said, I used to also do more studying than anything else, but I made far more and better progress since moving away from actively studying (but still doing some reviews) and focusing more on just surrounding myself with the language and enjoying the process.

While I do still review vocab, for the most part, I just look up words I don't know whenever I come across them. It can be a bit frustrating to keep coming across the same word and not be able to recall its meaning even though you know you've looked it up several times already and as soon as you do look it up you just roll your eyes because 'DUH, I knew that!' but as frustrating as that is, it feels so accomplishing once you finally don't have to look it up anymore because you managed to remember it. Repeatedly exposing yourself is often more successful than trying to just drill it into your head.

The bottom line is that what helped me the most was to recognize what didn't work and then change up my routine. A different approach is often the best solution. I constantly change up my routine now to ensure I still have fun and because there are always new ways for me to improve my Japanese.

Always ask yourself: What doesn't work? What do I not enjoy? And then find ways to change those parts and keep the parts that do work.

There are a lot more resources and methods, but these were just some tips based on what you've said you struggle with so I hope this helps you a little bit.

Just know that you definitely don't have to stay in that class and can just self-study instead. There are always gonna be moments where you might not enjoy it as much, but it is so worth it because whenever you notice your progress, it feels so rewarding and that will motivate you to keep going. It's also a great reminder to yourself that you can improve your skills so you will be able to improve even more in the future.

Anyway, I understand your struggle and hope things will get better for you.

And definitely keep me updated! You got this!!

頑張って！

[bronanlynch]

bi-weekly update

it sure has been a wild time here and tbh I had enough to do one of these last week and just. didn’t?? for some reason?? anyway

listening: the Promare soundtrack went on sp*tify recently so I’ve been on Promare soundtrack lockdown over here. I know Kakusei is the iconic Promare song but Inferno (the opening song) always makes me tear up??? love to experience emotions about a movie in a reasonable and normal way. so anyway my standout track from the OST is Piromare because I am so very not immune to sad soft piano renditions of a motif that is usually triumphant/cheerful/etc

reading: I have, for once, read a bunch of books. I got a giftcard to my favorite local indie bookshop for Christmas and finally got around to using it to buy two books I’d been looking forward to, Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson (bi polyam Dracula retelling, kind of) and Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell (gay arranged marriage space opera)

Dowry of Blood was very satisfying to me, someone who has lots of opinions about how vampires ought to be sexy and also terrifying, and I really enjoyed this specific take on vampire lore. also the formatting/pagination was really really cool and reminded me more of poetry books than prose usually does. for the first couple of pages there’s only text on one side of the page and then there’s one line on the back of a page and it hits really hard. extremely good and cool printing choices. would def recommend, but it is also explicitly an exploration of getting into and then out of an abusive relationship so. warnings for that in addition to the murder/blood warnings

also look at how sick this cover is (by Marlowe Lune, an artist whose work I really like in general)

I previously read Winter’s Orbit when it was on ao3 as an original work (called Course of Honour) and it was really cool to read a familiar story that I uh. read several times on ao3 but with added layers, because the author added a bunch of worldbuilding and an entire overarching higher-stakes political plot. I really really liked the added worldbuilding, and for the most part I enjoyed the new plot stuff, though at times I felt like it distracted from what I liked the most about the original, and there was one specific scene that was taken out that I was disappointed about. fave thing about the worldbuilding is when something is referred to by normal familiar words (like pigeons or bears) and then the actual thing is like, a fucking dinosaur that only vaguely resembles the word that’s used for it. very fun

also slightly mixed feelings about the framing of empire in the book, since there is some discussion about the consequences of imperialism and the resolution of the plot involves getting more rights and political sway for colonized planets. but the majority of the plot is about preserving an unjust status quo, and the representative of one of the colonized planets is working for the interests of the empire so that they can appear unified in the face of a larger-scale potential threat, which I’m not sure I love. and I also didn’t really care for the way the resistance movement (whenever it came up, which wasn’t often) was portrayed. so. on one hand yes there is a message of ‘empire bad and we should maybe try to be less Like That’ but on the other hand sometimes it did feel like the imperialism was an under-examined backdrop for a romance. like don’t get me wrong, I love the romance, I love the characters, it’s just that some of the politics didn’t quite do it for me and I think I just wanted More of things that just. weren’t the focus of the story

warnings for discussions of abusive relationships in this one, except this time it’s backstory for one of the characters, not something that’s present in the central relationship. and for all of the things that I wasn’t quite satisfied with, the parts of the book that are about like, learning how to be a person again after being in a situation where you’re not allowed to be yourself are still very well-handled and hit me real hard.

I also read a whole bunch of KJ Charles because sometimes all my brain can handle is marathoning romance novels, but I’m not gonna talk about all of them because this is already long enough (have not read the new one that came out today yet though that’s what I’m gonna do after this)

watching: Supernatural season 13 is incredibly boring and bad in ways that aren’t interesting or fun to talk about so I haven’t watched any recently. I did watch the first episode of Lupin, and really enjoyed it! will definitely watch more, though slowly because it takes too much of my brain to marathon it, partially because I know just enough French to almost not need the subtitles but having to read and also automatically trying to translate as I’m listening takes more brain energy. love a good heist though, and it has some good social commentary on race and class and crime

also the main character is very good. fucking superb you funky gentleman thief

playing: still making my way through the last mission of Knife of Dunwall. I made a bunch of progress since I whined at my friend about how hard it was and they told me to just stay in the building that has places to hide (the one you have to make your way through as Corvo, so I already know the layout, which helps lol) instead of the one that’s falling apart with nowhere to hide. who would have thought.

have also watched my roommate play lots of games and have thoughts on those too. Final Fantasy games (or at least the ones I’ve seen anything from, which is 7, 14, and 15) really appeal to me on a character/aesthetic/plot level but the gameplay looks like it would be bad for my brain. and yes all of those have very different gameplay but they would all be not fun for me in different ways. my roommate showed me like an hour of cutscenes from 14 last night that was basically a movie of tropes I love but holy shit I could never play a game where I have to wait for other people to be ready to also play the same part of the game before I can advance the plot

they’ve also been playing Persona 5 Scramble/Strikers (I don’t know which one the S stands for and at this point I’m too afraid to ask), which I do intend to play myself some day. it’s a sequel to Persona 5 with the same characters and damn they really nailed the feeling of seeing your friends again after not seeing them for a while, both in terms of. I care about these characters and am happy to see them again and also, they haven’t seen the protagonist in a while and they’re so happy he’s back and it makes me very soft. would love to reunite with friends whom I haven’t seen in a while

making: haven’t worked on cosplay but we did make some very tasty tortellini soup last weekend, and then last night we made fish & chips which was a lot easier than I was expecting and turned out pretty well? we just used frozen fries instead of like. frying them ourselves but we did make some very tasty lemon-garlic green beans

writing: well. I have a couple of things I’ve been noodling away at for a bit, and then a couple days ago I had a little bit of a breakdown and wrote 3000 words of angst in one sitting for an entire different new fic (Persona boys having a miserable time), and then yesterday decided to get in on a thing in The Untamed fandom of people writing short ““boring”“ domestic oneshots, and I love domesticity so I wrote one, which various reviewers have called “very sweet” and “a callout post” (it is both of those things)

I’m also organizing an event for P5 trans content because someone was shitty to one of my roommates over a trans headcanon and I got so pissed off that I’m running a prompt week now. love to have reasonable emotional reactions to things that happen in my life. why would I think about my actual problems when I could get petty and spiteful over someone saying that a fictional character couldn’t possibly be trans

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Veronica//Everybody Talks

Request: Can I request a Reader/Veronica with/using the song Everybody Talks - Neon Trees, maybe reader moves from new york or visits with Nick st. Clair and decides to stay in town?

happy valentines day gays! 

part 2 

“Well.” You clasp your hands together as you look out the window of Veronica’s bedroom. “Its no New York. But it’ll do.” 

You’re feeling awfully home sick, but your parents wanted you out of the house for a few weeks while they tried to secure as many clients as they could with the lavish house parties they’re throwing, so they sent you to Riverdale ‘so you could catch up with an old friend’, which translates to, the Lodges owe us a favour so they’re babysitting you until we want you back.

Its not really your parents you’re missing, you don’t particularly have the best relationship with either of them. They liked you when you were little and cute and they could parade you around their friends, but as soon as you had your own thoughts and opinions, they kind of just forgot about you. You’re missing New York. You like how busy it is, everybody doing their own thing, following their dreams, doing whatever the hell they want. You blend in there, but in Riverdale you stick out like sore thumb. And Veronica can tell you’re feeling uneasy. 

You and Veronica Lodge had been best friends from 5 years old. The Lodge’s did some business with your family, and while your dad’s talked and your mom’s got drunk, you and her played together. You would be princesses, mermaids, superheroes, anything. 

And you’re friendship grow stronger as the two of you grew up. She was the first person you came out too, both of you whispering about it while hiding under a duvet, too scared to speak any louder in case anyone was listening. 

So when her dad went to prison and she told you she was moving, the two of you were devastated. You gifted her a pair of diamond earrings as a going away present, and she gave you your first kiss, leaving the feeling of her lips engrained in your brain forever. When you’d asked her about it, she’d said it was heat of the moment, ‘i’m probably never going to see you again so i need to do something for you to remember me by’ type thing, and then she never brought it up again. 

“You’re going to love it here. I promise!” She says excitedly. “Oh, you’re sleeping in my room, I hope thats okay.” 

“Ye-yeah. Thats fine.” You stutter. The past few years she’s become even more gorgeous. Her hair is longer than it was the last time you saw her, and she’s actually wearing glasses sometimes, which is a lot more than when you knew her. She also seems so happy here, and you’re unsure how such a small town managed to keep someone with such a big personality. 

“Mom was going to make up the spare bedroom but I said it didn’t matter seeing as though we’ll probably be up all night anyway.” 

“Hu-What?” 

“Catching up.” She replies, a small giggle passing her lips as she brushes her hand over your arm. 

“Oh, yeah, right.” You shake your head, trying to get rid of the many, many gays thoughts that have littered your brain. 

“Come on. Dump your bags in there and then I’ll introduce you to everyone.” 

-----

“Guys!” Veronica leads you into a small diner, the red neon sign lights the parking lot giving it an 80′s vibe and you can’t help but smile. At least there’s something similar to New York here, the bright neon signs. However they’re everywhere back home, just here in Riverdale though. But the way Veronica is smiling at you is enough to make you feel less home sick. “This is my best friend all the way from New York. We’ve been friends since we were five and she’s staying with us for a couple of weeks. So everyone, meet the one and only, Y/n y/l/n.” She introduces you to the group of teens sat in the red booth, all with kind smiles on your face, and you must admit, you don’t get this kind of hospitality in New York. 

“Hi.” You wave shyly.

“Wow. We finally get to meet the famous Y/n.” A girl with a high pony-tail teases causing Veronica to blush softly. “I’m Betty by the way. Betty Cooper. And this is my boyfriend, Jughead Jones.” She introduces herself and the boy beside her and you shake both their hands. 

“I’m Josie.” A girl walking past you says and you smile kindly at her. 

“Nice to meet you.” You reply and she nods before sitting at a booth a few away from you. 

“The boy she’s sat with is Kevin. They’re step siblings and the funniest people you will ever meet.” 

“That I am Veronica.” A boy interrupts. “And who is this.” They add, looking you up and down as he sits down in the booth, Betty and Jughead grumble angrily as they move so he can fit in. 

“This Reggie, is Y/n. My friend from New York.” 

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” He holds you hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it before winking at you and you chuckle uncomfortably. 

“You’re not her type Mantle.” Veronica rolls her eyes. “Now, I’m going to leave her here while I order food. Anybody want anything?” She asks and they all shake their head, pointing to the food in front of them. “Y/n. I’ll get your favourite. And Betty, look after he while I’m gone.” She says, glaring at Reggie as she does, before spinning on her heel and marching towards the counter. 

“Sit here.” A red-headed boys says and you slide into the booth beside him.

“Thanks.” You mumble. “I don’t think we were introduced.” 

“I’m Arch-” 

“So what is your type?” Reggie interrupts. 

“I’m more into girls.” You reply simply and his eyes widen. 

“Ohhh. Cool.” He shrugs before starting to annoy Jughead. You turn your attention back to the boy beside you and he smiles softly before continuing his previous sentence. 

“I’m Archie. Veronica’s boyfriend.” He introduces himself and your mouth goes dry. 

Boyfriend? She never told you about a boyfriend. Why didn’t she tell you about a boyfriend?

“Boyfriend?” You ask aloud, probably more surprised that you should have but whatever.

“Yeah.” He laughs. “Is that so surprising?” He asks. 

“No. I er. I just never heard of a boyfriend.” 

“Oh.” He sighs, looking at the table. 

“But thats got nothing to do with her though. She probably did mention you but I here the word boy and just tune out.” You say quickly and he lightens up a bit. 

“One burger and fries.” Veronica places the tray in front of you and your lips twitch into a smile, however it doesn’t quite each your eyes. Not like it usually does, not the way Veronica loves, and she can’t help the frown that comes to her lips. “Whats wrong? Did Reggie say something? What did you say Reggie?” 

“No, nothing.” You shake your head. “Do you want to sit beside Archie?” You ask. 

“Why?” She replies confused. 

“Because he’s your boyfriend.” 

“Oh right yeah. Sure.” She shrugs and you stand up, allowing her to sit in your seat before you sit down on the end. 

Why wouldn’t she tell you about her boyfriend? You guys were supposed to be best friends. She promised that when she moved that wouldn’t change. But maybe it has, things have changed since the last time you saw each other. You hair is a tad shorter, and you’ve changed your fashion a little, but nothing major. What the hell happened? 

You eat your fries in silence while they talk about the new school year and whats in store for them as being seniors. Half an hour passes and you’ve finished your food, as well as the majority of your drink and you can’t help but think if you disappeared right this second, nobody would notice. 

Hell, Reggie’s talked to you more than Veronica has, and even though you get that she has a new life here, with new friends and new memories, it still sucks that she’s moved on. 

“Have you seen that Y/n?” Archie asks and you blink rapidly, everyone at the table is staring at you expecting an answer to a question you didn’t hear. 

“What?” 

“Sicario? The film.” 

“Yes!” Veronica jumps in and Archie’s eyes widen, the two of them talking animatedly about the film. 

Did we hell see that. When that was at the cinema, you and Veronica went to go see some shitty teen romance movie that made the two of you cry. Why was she lying? The first time she’s shown interest you in 35 minutes and its all a lie. 

“I didn’t think those type of films were very you.” Archie says shocked and she shrugs.

“She’s full of surprises.” You sigh, stirring your drink around with your straw as you lean your head against your hand. 

“She really is.” He replies making her giggle softly before the two of them make-out. 

Why does this always happen? You fall in love with her years ago which ends in disappointment and heartbreak, for it to just happen again the next time you see her. Damn.

------

“Ronnie?” You whisper into the darkness. Everything seems darker in Riverdale, everything is quieter, and its keeping you awake. Its not the only thing thats keeping you up though, the fact that the girl you’ve wanted since you were 13 and just discovering your sexuality is lying next to you, her body so warm as she breathes slowly, is also making it difficult to sleep. Plus, why is she so different than to how she was. Its like nothing major has changed about her, its just subtle things, but when they’re added all together its like she’s someone completely new. And why didn’t she tell you about Archie? Or anything that has happened since she moved here, the rest of her friends told you more in an afternoon than she has in three years. 

”Yeah?” She replies, turning over. Her hair is a mess and her eyes full of sleep but you don’t think she’s ever looked more beautiful. Actually. Thats a lie. She’s always looked pretty to you. “Are you okay?” 

“Can’t sleep.” You reply and she sends you a sympathetic look.

“Its okay. Why don’t we play the alphabet game?” She suggests and your eyes widen as you remember the stupid game you made up when you were younger. Whenever either of you had trouble sleeping, wether it be due to nightmares, parents arguing or just that fact that you were to excited to sleep, you would pick a topic and work together to try and think of something relating to it for each letter of the alphabet. On one particularly boring afternoon, you even made a proper game out of it. Scribbling down loads of topics and placing them all in a shoe box. 

“I haven’t played that in years!” 

“Me neither. But...” She trails off as she dangles over the bed. You can hear her searching under the bed for a few seconds before she stops, movements halting as a smile breaks out onto her face. “Aha!” She cheers and pulls a shoe box from under the bed. “Lets hope its the right shoebox.” She wiggles her eyebrows and you groan, pulling a disgusted face making her giggle. “Yes!” She says triumphantly. “I knew I still had it.” She shows you the box and smile brightly. The multicolored paper that you scribbled on when you were 11, and kept adding to as you grew older and learned more things about the world, is in there. 

“Okay!” You bounce a little. “Let me pick. Let me pick!” Your hand dives into the box as you search for a bit of paper. Pulling a bright yellow piece out you read it aloud. “Flowers.” 

“Ooooo.” She muses, placing the lid back on the box before pushing it down the bed. The two of you lie down, facing each other, both of you giggling like children as you try and think of a flower that begins with the letter A. 

“Aster!” You start and she looks at you impressed. 

“Wow, your flower knowledge has improved since the last time I saw you. When we did this five years ago, you said ‘A flower’.” 

“Well, there’s a lot of things I know now that I didn’t back then.” You reply. You didn’t mean for it to sound so serious, but it does and it hangs in the air for a few seconds before her eyes brighten again, something she always does when she’s about to answer these. 

“Baby’s breath.” She says and you hum in approval. “I’m gonna have them mixed in my bouquet when I get married. Them and roses, the classiest flower obviously. And the wedding scheme is going to be royal blue and gold, with lots of activities for the guests to do.” 

“Yeah? And does Archie know all of this or are you just going to spring it on him the day he proposes?” You tease making her roll her eyes. 

“Who says I’m going to marry Archie.” She replies and you stare at her. The two of you make eye contact, your breath hitching at the intensity of her stare, and then you’re leaning in, closing the gap between the two of you. Your lips brush against hers softly, almost as if you’re testing the waters to see if she’ll pull away, but when she doesn’t, when her hand grabs your waist pulling you closer, and she closes the gap completely, her lips completely pressed against you, kissing you like you’re air and she can’t breath, you figure she isn’t going to pull away. 

Until...she does, and you’re left breathless. 

While she’s left more confused than ever. 

“I’m so sorry. I should not have done that.” She pulls away from you quickly, her eyes wide while yours are barely open, she’s definitely gotten better at kissing. Or maybe you have. No matter what, that was pure bliss- “That was such a mistake. Sorry. Lets just forget that happened.” She turns over, facing the wall and scooting as far away from you as she can. Your heart beats faster and your fingers trace your lips, you’re brain running at a thousand miles per hour as you try to remember everything. Everything leading up to the kiss to the kiss itself, while also trying to block out what happened after. But its no use, and your heart sinks when you hear her muttering to herself. “I have a boyfriend.” 

-----

“Y/n?” A soft voice lulls you from your deep sleep and you shuffle a little, turning around to follow the voice. “Y/nnnnn.” They continue and your eyelids flutter open to reveal Veronica smiling at you. 

“Morning.” You mumble, stretching your muscles while you sit up. 

“Morning.” She replies. “Here, I got you a drink.” She hands you a mug and you take it from her gratefully, blowing the steam away. “Listen.” She starts, her voice changing from soft to serious and your eyes flicker up to meet hers. “I really want to hang out with you, but Archie’s had a disaster so I need to go help. But, fear not, because Cheryl Blossom may be the biggest bitch in Riverdale, but she throws the best parties and we are invited to one tonight! So pick out your sparkliest and shortest dress and be ready by 8. Okay?” She kisses you on the cheek before grabbing her purse. 

“Bu-” 

“Bye! Love you!” She calls over her shoulder and you sigh, taking a sip of your drink before looking around the room. 

The room screams Veronica, some of the old Veronica, and some of this new one that you aren’t entirely sure of. The pearls hanging on the jewelry holder, pictures stuck in the mirror of her vanity, that is more make up products than actual wood and glue, some of you and her back in New York, some of her family, some with friends, but most of them are her with Archie and you feel your heart drop to your stomach, you sigh and push the covers off you, throwing your legs over the side. Its barely 10am, meaning you have god knows how many hours to kill before she comes back. “Oh.” She comes back and you whip your head to look at her. “About last night, can we just forget anything ever happened?” 

“Sure.” You nod, forcing a smile. “My lips are sealed.” You add and she grins at you. 

“Great. Bye!”

“Yeah. Great.” 

--------

“Y/n?” Veronica whispers. Your mom had turned the lights off in your room hours ago, but the both of you remain wide awake. She stares at the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling, trying to find constellations, while you stare at her face, finding constellations in the freckles that dust her cheeks, freckles that will soon disappear after she leaves and decides she doesn’t like anymore. 

“Yeah?” You whisper back, deciding to join in with the star gazing, thankful that she hasn’t looked at you yet.

”Do you know when you were a kid and you wanted to talk to everyone and anyone?” 

”No. I was an anxious child.” You reply making her giggle. 

”Fair enough.” She shrugs. “But you know what I mean though. Like everyone seemed so fascinating to talk to, and you just wanted to learn everything about them. You become friends with them within seconds no matter who they are.” 

“Yeah. I know what you’re talking about.” 

“I feel like that everyday with you.” She admits, both of you blushing but refusing to look at the other. 

“You think I’m a stranger?” 

“No.” She replies and you can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “I mean that if you were a stranger, I’d still want to be friends with you. No matter what.” She says, the words weighing heavy in the air as she says them but they make you feel light. At that age, nobody knows who they’re going to be in a month, a year, five, ten, but both of you knew you’d still be friends. 

Veronica and Y/n against the world. 

“Veronica?” You ask.

“Yeah.” 

“I like girls.” 

“Oh.” She looks at you with a puzzled face and you sigh, knowing whats coming next. ‘i hope you’re not in love with me’ or ‘thats great, but just so you know, i’m straight’ and ‘get out’, are a few that come to mind. But she smiles at you, that smile only Veronica can do, grabs your hand and simply says, “I love you.” And you grin back at her, because she supports you and you still have your best friend and it doesn’t matter who you love. 

“I love you too.” You reply and then the moments gone, she starts talking about cute girls you go to school with, but your hands remain intertwined and thats the only thing you can really focus on. 

------

“Are you almost ready?” Veronica shouts from her bedroom and you roll your eyes at her patience. Studying your outfit one last time in the mirror, you re-apply your lipstick before smoothing out your dress and flicking your hair about until your happy with how you look. 

You’d decided on a classic black dress with a bold red lip and sparkly shoes, very New York chic, you finally felt like the old you. Sneaking out to parties with Veronica by your side and fake ID’s in your purse.

“Yes I’m ready. But what the hell happened to you, Miss ‘start getting ready at 4 and don’t get out at of the house until 10′. Living here has really changed you.” You tease but when she doesn’t say anything you stop putting your phone in your purse to look at her. She’s already staring at you, a look in her eyes that you can’t quite read, but her lips are parted slightly and the sight is enough to make you fee breathless, a blush creeping up your neck. 

“...wow.” She mumbles as she stares at you. “You look amazing.” She snaps herself out of whatever she was in and you smile bashfully at her. 

“You look even better.” You reply. 

“Not possible.” She rolls her eyes. 

“So, is Archie okay?” You ask and she pauses putting her shoes on.

“What? Oh yeah. Turns out he just missed me. He’s such a dork.” 

“You saw each other yesterday.” You laugh awkwardly. 

“I know.” She laughs. “Hey, are you okay?” She asks, noticing your frown. 

“Yeah fine.” You shrug, pushing the feeling that you’re being pushed out deep down. “You ready?”  

”Always.”  -----

‘Hey honey you could be my drug You could be my new prescription Too much could be an overdose All this trash talk make me itching’ 

You and Veronica are more shouting the lyrics than singing at each other. 

Veronica was not wrong, Cheryl was a bitch, pointing out three things she didn’t like about your outfit as soon as you walked through the front door, but boy did she throw a good party. The house was packed, people squeezed into each room and spilling out into the garden. The music was loud enough to be heard in Greendale and there was enough alcohol to last everyone at least a year. 

Unfortunately, Veronica had started on the drinking pretty much as soon as she walked in the front door and there was only one reason she would binge drink, she was conflicted about something. However, she refused to talk to you about anything other than another drink, dancing, or cute girls that you could hook up with. But the only cute girl you wanted to talk to was drunk, swaying and about to puke into a very expensive vase. 

“Come on Ronnie, we need to get you to a bathroom. You need to sit down.” You gently reach out to her but she continues to sway, swallowing whatever was trying to crawl back up her throat and you crinkle your nose in disgust.

“No.” She shoves your hands away, stumbling slightly. Your arms are around her instantly, keeping her up right but she pulls away from you, staring at you as if your a stranger. 

“Ronnie. You need a sit down and some water.” 

“No!” She shouts. “The only person that calls me Ronnie is Archie.” She adds and tears prick your eyes. 

“But Archie isn’t here. I am. So please, come with me.” You plead.

“No! God, you just can’t deal with the fact that I have friends other than you. You’ve been following me around for the past two days like a lost puppy and I’m sick of it. But I have a life outside of you and New York. I have friends, a family that supports me, and more importantly a boyfriend. And I don’t need you coming into my life and making everything all complicated. You-you should have just stayed in New York.” She shoves you out of the way, leaving you crying in the middle of the dance floor. 

People start talking as she pushes further and further into the party, and the songs thats just ended seems oddly fitting, everybody does talk, no matter if you’re in New York or Riverdale. Just before she completely disappears into the crowd you hear her shout one last thing that completely shatters your heart.

“Hey! Lets play the alphabet game!” 

“Oh hey Y/n.” Archie greets you as he walks through the front door, but you ignore him, pushing past him while wiping the tears from your face. 

“Where’s Ronnie?” He asks making you cry harder. 

“Somewhere where she doesn’t need me.” You reply before disappearing into the night, walking the unfamiliar streets back to a home you know longer felt wanted in. 

You never thought you’d live to see the day where Veronica didn’t want you in her life. But here you are, and now you’re not entirely sure what to do with yourself. Should you call your parents and ask if you can come home early with a promise that you’ll hide out in your room? Or should you go to a hotel for the remainder of the trip? 

You decide to stay at Ronnie’s Veronica’s for the night and then go to a hotel tomorrow. 

Riverdale sucks. 

Friendships suck.

Especially when you’re in love with your best friend. 

Everything sucks!

-----

“Hey.” Veronica’s voice is quiet as she walks into her bedroom. You glance at her, her make-up is smudged, her hair messy and she’s carrying her heels, but she still looks cute. 

“Hey.” You reply, placing another dress in your suitcase. 

“Soooo. What are you doing?” She walks into her room cautiously and you roll your eyes. 

“Packing.” You shrug. “I rang my parents this morning about staying in a hotel and they wanted me back early so they can parade me around like when I was 2. I think one of the possible clients they’re talking to has a son around our age, so I think they’re planning on ‘setting’ us up.” 

“Yikes.” 

“Yep.” You pop the p and she huffs. 

“Listen.” She starts, moving some of your clothes so she can sit down. “Before you go can we talk.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about Veronica. You said exactly what you thought of me yesterday. So I’m doing what you want, I’m going back to New York and you don’t have to worry about me confusing you and getting in the way of your new life. Which by the way isn’t as great as you think it is. Your friends seem lovely, but they know nothing about you, you know Cheryl forgot your name twice yesterday. Betty doesn’t know what you’re favourite food is, and as for your boyfriend, he seems lovely, but you are way out of his league. And you feel the need to lie to him so he likes you more. Veronica, I think you are the greatest person I have ever met, and I’ll always follow you wherever you go, because I’m your best friend and I love you, but if you’re over this friendship thats fine. Just don’t be an ass about it.” You rant, flopping down beside her. 

“Wow.” She mumbles and silence takes over the two of you. You’re waiting for her to say something, to do something, but she doesn’t. So you sigh before standing up and starting to pack again. A few minutes go by before she speaks up again. “I made a new category for the alphabet game.” 

“Yeah?” You reply while folding a pair of jeans. 

“Its things that remind me of you...and I er, I don’t need any help with this one.” She adds and you pause. 

“A. The Adorable way your nose crinkles when you see or hear something you don’t like. B. The fact that you love Bees and that you’ll do literally anything to help them. I watched you sprint across a road because you saw a bee lying by the curb and to this day I have no idea how you saw it from that far away, but you picked it up and put it on a flower so that it would be safe and I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more...also B, because of how Brave you are to be yourself. Even when you have a family like yours. C. How much you hate Cauliflower, and how when you were 7 you were convinced it was a snowy tree for fairies to live in, and how upset you get when your mom first showed you one because you thought she’d cut their house down. D. The fact that you love Dogs more than anybody I have ever met, and every time I see a cute dog in the street I always think of how happy you would be if you saw it. And how every time you see a dog you always send me a picture, no matter what time it is or what you’re doing. E.-”

“Ronni-Veronica.” You stop her. “I get the point. You don’t have to do all of them.” 

“Okay.” She nods. “But I can do all of them if you want.” 

“Its okay.” You smile. 

“Can I skip to L?” She asks and you quirk an eyebrow, but nod anyway. “Okay. L. The fact that I am so in Love with you and that I have been since I was 12, that I turn into an idiot whenever you’re around. I’m so sorry, I was just confused and I didn’t know what to do because I love you but I didn’t want to upset Archie, and I’m just sorry.” 

“Its okay.” You cup her cheek. “I love you too.” She lets out a breath before sending you a soft smile. “Why don’t you skip back a bit to K?” 

“K?” 

“Kiss me.” You whisper. 

[natsunoomoi]

Oh yeah, addendum to the other post from earlier because I went to bed after I found it, but yeah. I found the spot where it talks about it finally. But just annoyed because I think it was an issue with like textual clean up or my phone browser at the time screwing with me as I went back and forth to the translation notes that it probably wasn't as clearly input into my memory the first time around. I don't have ad blockers on my phone so when I was originally reading it I was having formatting issues that I think distracted my reading sometimes. I still managed to remember quite a lot of details in general for the plot, I think, but I remember it was frustrating to try to get to the end. Checking now on my desktop and the formatting issues are near nonexistent so it's easier to read and jog my memory that oh yeah I did read this part.

But also still annoyed that it's improperly cited on the wiki cuz ugh, that's not how you write a wiki. Proper chapter citations, yo. It is in 81 not 92. *facepalm* Still kind of wondering where that other part I read when I started this book was mentioned? Still haven't seen that at all.

I think also I remember I was a bit more concerned about the overall meaning of what the ending meant too than what Qinghua was saying. Like the way everything turned out in the book it was really sweet and all and I like Qingqiu and Binghe together, but I was and still am really concerned that they only really work as a couple in this book specifically because of the circumstances of the book. I can understand people IRL are repressed or don't think about their own sexuality and maybe discover it later or under the right circumstances, but at the same time the way things unfolded also gives me some concerns. It's more possible that someone who is straight might only think so because it's just the normal accepted type of relationship we see in our modern society so they don't question or explore it so they don't know, but at the same time, I'm also concerned because your sexuality doesn't just change because of one person either. IRL if someone is not into you, they're not into you. I'm a little worried as well that the relationship between the characters is also a little coercive. Like when we're talking about enthusiastic consent IRL it means for all partners and both people in a relationship should thoughtfully respect the other's boundaries and needs, and unfortunately, Binghe tends to not respect boundaries. It makes for good comedy and cuteness in a fictional work, but a lot of young people also read this book and it worries me a bit what some people might learn about relationships in that regard.

Like this maybe a separate thing, but like thinking about the consent in the relationship in this book reminds me of a Reddit post I saw where this one guy was asking for advice about a situation with his gf where his gf would only sleep with him if he put on Sasuke cosplay and she wore Naruto cosplay and basically they acted out her BL fantasy. And like he was very kind and onboard with her roleplay because he wanted her to be happy, but also like when he asked to maybe not do the cosplay, she would get upset and refuse to be intimate with him in any other way. And like, yeah, the situation is very funny, but because this is a real life couple you can see how when only one person bends to their partner's desires and needs, it can leave the other person feeling unheard and empty. As hilarious as it sounds, a lot of people were very sympathetic for the guy and feeling for him cuz like he was doing everything right and giving it a try for her and then also just approaching her maturely and trying to talk about his own comfort in that regard and she wasn't hearing him. So similar to how I feel bad and afraid for that guy, I actually feel kind of concerned and afraid for SY/Qingqiu a little. Like if both of them were my friend IRL, I would legit be worried that Binghe wasn't always listening to Qingqiu's needs. The relationship needs to be an equal give and take or at least balanced, but one side tends to take more and act more selfishly, and it's like, you only feel worried and want them to talk to each other more and grow because you want them to be able to last together.

Still kind of getting into the other books, but in comparison the other relationships in the other two books seem to be more positive and supportive. Like TGCF seems to be the most healthy and functional as an actual relationship.

Also a bit concerned that Airplane's original outline was a teacher x student relationship. Like we can argue it's okay for SY cuz he's not really Qingqiu, but that relationship being the original outline is also risque and that is NG at worst and a huge risk at best. Like it was viewed bad enough already that Qingqiu was written to eye Ning Yingying, it wouldn't be viewed any better if that part of the original outline was in it too. On the plus side the way SVSSS plays out Binghe is an adult already when the situation happens and it is at a more appropriate time, but the optics are pretty bad just because of like ideas of society that a master is like a parent and a disciple is like a child. It's also related to the titles and such that they call each other like shixiong, shidi, etc. They have family dynamics with each other so it's not great. It's not like there aren't some situations IRL where teacher and student become a couple, but in many circumstances it's highly inappropriate. The underage issue is the normal problem. But if they are grown and it is later when you are no longer their teacher I've seen some couples where it worked out, but it's a situation of consenting adults at least. Still a little concerned about the power imbalance dynamics. In IRL situations that's a big thing too. Other than age, one person being able to affect other parts of your life on a whim is a huge stressor on a relationship you don't need. I can kind of understand how it would have worked out in a positive if like Qingqiu had shown empathy for Binghe when they first met because their lives mirror each other's, but like a lot of the other things Qinghua added into the story like the extent of Qingqiu's traumas being played out as asshole behavior became huge barriers. Like I mentioned, with just his traumas it would be very difficult for him to be able to have even a deep friendship with other men, which is similar to how IRL people in real life don't have a chance to explore themselves because of various issues and stuff in society. But also Binghe being ultimately unhappy by just doing what the world thinks he should do and not what he wants on both an in-world level and a meta level. We don't get a whole lot on Shen Jiu, so I'm really curious how that would have actually worked on his end because he seemed really broken, but it's impossible to parse out what of the original plot we can imagine to remove to understand the original outline and how it would have happened. He was very alone and even though the pipa player called him a friend, it doesn't seem like he was able to have a close enough friend to talk with or confide in at all. But is that isolation part of the original outline or part of the PIDW plot?

Anyway, it's things like that that I think about all the time and that's why I end up going into dives into the wiki cuz I want to like think about something and want to check notes real quick to make sure I'm thinking about it right. But the wiki is unreliable. Like also there was one part where it says that the bad cultivation manual was only something the other disciples did to Binghe, but in SJ's POV chapter he literally says that he gave him the shitty one. The wiki also claimed that him pouring tea was also actually an application of medicine misunderstood, but I haven't found any evidence of that either and it's just stuff like that that send me into a rabbit hole that derail me from my original thoughts I'm trying to work out.

[myvalzpival]

This is exactly the case of one anon message ruining a whole bunch of lives. But you asked for it, I’ll act upon it. Time to ruin your guys’ fucking weekend :)

So, yeah. First of all, that really is the full name of the video on youtube. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s focus on the apeshit feral shitstorm we’ve just listened to :)

To give you some context as of what I’ve been doing these past two days, upon the first listen (by which i mean i made it through the first verse and stopped because i couldn’t breathe), I was convinced this was a fake. It’s just another Nikki Tučková. This can’t be real. This CAN’T be serious, like, come on, that’s too much even for the Czech pop scene. So it was time to start digging around.

I googled Mr. Petr and the only kinda relevant-looking thing that popped up was this website. Now, bear in mind that this song came out 4 days ago, i was made aware of it 3 days ago, and since then the face of the Internet has changed drastically. So I’m staring at this dancer dude with a terrible english website, contemplating whether or not I should message this poor dude and offer my translation knowledge because it hurts my soul. But as I read through it, i was like... nah, that can’t be him. Although.... *violent flashback to the video, realizing he actually DOES dance really well*

So I continue digging and find exactly nothing. Then I finally decided to open the info card under the video and, voila, there’s a website! And WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT yes, it’s THE Michael Petr from StarDance. Also, just between us, he also has a rock project which sounds very suspiciously close to Trent’s Mystic Spiral from Daria.

So at that point I find an idnes article and I just know this whole thing is, indeed, meant very seriously and I turn into this very sad entity craving a hotdog.

Anyways! Time for the actual music breakdown!

1) It has a very generig Czech pop feel. There’s fucking nothing in that instrumental to make it memorable in any way. I tried to dig for something, i really tried, i found nothing, i was sad.

2) The whole lyrics don’t have one. single. rhyme. in it. I don’t know how on earth he did it, but this is like some wild dadaism shit. Phrasing doesn’t exist either.

3) On that note, there is NOT A SINGLE ROHLÍK IN THE VIDEO. But I’ll talk about 2) and 3) into more depth later.

4) The second I heard “ňamňamňamňamňam” my soul transcended into another realm

5) Dare I say it? I dare to say it. Michael neumí zpívat. Don’t get me wrong, he can maintain a tone, that’s nice. His voice is quite smooth and has a nice colour as well. Not interesting, but nice. But holy shit there’s exactly zero technique. Which might still not be a problem if there was at least some confidence/feel in it. Which is not. Therefore, Michael, in my eyes, can’t fucking sing and I’ll have this engraved on my gravestone out of spite if anyone tries to convince me otherwise. To elaborate a little, I didn’t listen just to this, I tortured myself by listening to all three of his so far released songs and it’s just not working. He sounds incredibly scared and not confidend while singing, which, considering his ego, is really interesting to me, you can clearly hear this dude hasn’t stood on stage singing EVER and he’s absolutely weirded out by the studio he’s recording at. And don’t even get me started on that harmonizing at the end... Holy shit. 

6) ON THIS NOTE! I shit you not, there’s an English version!

And believe it or not, it gives us a beautiful overview of everything that goes wrong in both the versions because, believe it or not, they differ A LOT.

I’m still a little puzzled about which of the versions happened first. He states in the idnes interview that the album is Czech-English, but one version clearly had to be first. I would guess the English version came out first because it actually RHYMES, but then again when you look at the Czech lyrics, they are not a translation. So what exactly happened there??? My guess is that the two versions were made in two different studios. I’d say the English version was done in America and the producer made Michael re-write the lyrics so that they rhyme, otherwise they wouldn’t want to have anything to do with such a shitty project. Yeah, the lyrics still suck but like... *sigh* listen, i don’t want to bash anyone for their knowledge of a foreign language. He clearly tried and I appreciate that, I’m just baffled by his confidence in his English abilities is all :’) But you can probably hear the English version differs even in the instrumental itself, it really adheres to the norms of American/Western notion of generic pop. You can also hear that the producer clearly FORBID Michael from doing the atrocious harmonizing, which I would love to publicly thank them for. The Czech version was obviously produced here, it has a more Czech feel to it and adheres to our norms instead. And the harmonizing is there. Now, I’m talking about the “ROHLÍK, DÁM SI JEDEN ROHLÍK” screamo situation which... is just all over the place, to put it kindly. I don’t know what the producer was thinking, but I can imagine that after dealing with Michael for some time, they just went “fuck it” and kept it in. Now, when we move to the last chorus, which has a gradual harmonizing added to it, I dare to guess it’s autotuned. Only slightly, but it is. Basically, it sounds way too flat (i mean his voice is overall real flat but the voices just “click” into each other way too well) and we know he tries to sing the harmonizing voices separately in the English version and it doesn’t go very well, does it. Last little note: Why is the English version on a different channel? I am confusion.

On the other hand, we can see that this whole project is a great example of over-production. The production value is huge. It’s well mixed (well, for what it is), the MV is a great quality, although a little stupid. But srsly, the dancemoves are 500% better than anything Aquababes’ve ever done, so at least that was nice. Also, 10/10 would DIE for Ms. Hotdog Lady, she’s having the time of her life and I’m here for that!

To give some more context, when I watched it 3 days ago, one day after its release, it had about 4k views, about 20 likes and about 400 dislikes. The comments were disabled. The English version had significantly less views, but the like/dislike ratio was similar, only the comments were enabled and, well... Let’s just say they aren’t anymore and for a very good reason. The numbers right now are about 26k views on Rohlíky and about 4k on Hot Dogs. The numbers of likes and dislikes are hidden with both of them. “Cesta”, the rock-ish song-ish thing, has about 800 views and everything is disabled as well. 

EDIT: Literally 10 seconds after posting this, the English version was deleted and uploaded on the same channel as Rohlíky. And guess what, you can still comment on it B^)

[furby-science]

The Making of Sterling the Super Furby: A Brief Overview

“I… I can’t look! I think I’m gonna… *HUEEEGH*!”

Before I get into this post, I want to list a few things I didn’t know shit about when I started Sterling:

Electronics

The Python coding language

Furby anatomy

Single board computers

After creating Sterling, I’m happy to say that now I have approximate knowledge of some of these things, but keep the above in mind as you read onwards. This little gremlin child was a learning experience from start to finish, and one I am incredibly proud of myself for sticking through. This also means that I am in no way an expert on everything I’m getting into okay? Okay let’s go!

The Hardware

First, a rundown of the hardware. I took heavy inspiration from the Furlexa mod shown here, and that was what I initially sought to create. The mod had three computer components to it:

A raspberry pi zero w single board computer for the AI to live on, with a mini USB microphone plugged in;

A pimoroni speaker PHAT to use as the sound system;

A motor controller to drive the furby’s motor.

My main problem with Furlexa was that this initial build took a lot of soldering, and I am a wussy who had a number of bad experiences with soldering irons in shop class. So, what’s a novice electrician to do?

Enter the Adafruit Crickit HAT. By sticking this little fucker on top of the raspberry pi, I was gifted with an amplifier, a speaker jack, capacitative touch sensors, and a motor driver all in one, no soldering needed if I bought the raspberry pi zero w h! The main challenge it posed was powering it. The Crickit insists, for some unfathomable reason, on being powered by a bulky DC jack, the kind you’d plug into a wall outlet, and the converter plug to use a battery pack with it was way too bulky to fit into a furby. I needed Sterling to be portable for maximum huggability, so this just wouldn’t do.

One fried raspberry pi and Crickit HAT later, I found the answer! By soldering the original furby battery pack to the underside of the Crickit board’s DC connection, these fuckers right here…

I was able to bypass the need for a wall plug or converter, and power him directly through the battery compartment like God intended. S/O to my friend Nick who is way less of a dumb bitch than I am and helped me figure this shit out I owe u some bread man.

So the tl;dr of it is, I effectively reduced the required computer components from three to two (excluding the speaker). Speaking of (heh), Sterling has an impressive 3w speaker in him, allowing him to be audible even without the use of the built in amplifier. It’s got such good bass on it, he even rumbles when he purrs without the aid of the motor!

And yes, when you pet him, he purrs. And complains if you manhandle him! The aforementioned capacitative touch sensors on the Crickit HAT made it all possible with the help of a few cables and some foil tape.

Wait, did you say soldering!?

Yup! It was a necessary evil; at the end of the day I had to pick my poison: soldering 80 pins on the speaker PHAT, or soldering like four contact points on the Crickit. I chose the more merciful option.

But wait, that whole outfit is really bulky still! How did you fit it inside the furby?

Subtractive methods, subtractive methods, subtractive methods! ;D Someone who actually knows things about furby anatomy and/or electronics will probably vaporize me for this, but… if I didn’t need it, it got the boot! That included prying off anything on the Crickit board I wasn’t using at the risk of destroying it completely - which probably isn’t ideal, but it also worked by some miracle, and again, I am such a basic bitch electrician that calculating the proper voltage for LEDs is still basically witchcraft to me, so… what I’m saying is I made it work. And that I really, really hate soldering! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You can see an early video of the end result here, and a later video of the outfit inside the naked furby here. This was back when he was still having auditory processing issues. Apologies for the shoddy quality, I was too excited everything was working to care about that at the time.

The Software

My other beef with Furlexa is… well, it’s an Amazon Alexa, and I’m a shitty little anticapitalist hermit who hates Amazon with a passion. Google Assistant was just as bad in my book. Mycroft was open source, but had a snowball’s chance in hell of running on the raspberry pi zero’s 512mb of RAM… I also wanted my assistant to have a degree of customizability to it. I wanted the furby’s AI to have a unique personality, identity, and preferences, much like classic furbies themselves did. A big box AI just wasn’t going to cut it!

Enter the Jasper Project. Yes, it’s old. Yes, it’s a bitch and a half to install. Yes, you have to know Python to get anywhere with it. However, it was free, open source, capable of running on a raspberry pi zero, and highly modular, meaning with a few lines of code, I could make it all my own - even to the extent of changing the AI’s name and voice (which is gr8 because I know a Jasper so naming my furby that would be Weird), or - the best part - writing my own, custom functions! Customizability-wise, I struck gold.

Ah, and glad I am that Jasper is modular, because I had some work ahead of me…

The STT Engine

The STT (Speech to Text) engine is what Sterling uses to understand what’s being said to him. Jasper’s proprietary STT engine is PocketSphinx, a fully offline STT engine, which sounded great in theory before I quickly learned it’s a nightmare to install, and also more inaccurate than a stenography machine powered by a single potato when actually being used. I had to compromise my morals a bit here and opt for using Wit.ai instead, which is free, but is also owned by Facebook. Big data is frustratingly inescapable in these cases.

There is one light at the end of the tunnel, and that is the training of acoustic modules. This has the downside of taking for-fucking-ever and requiring a quiet recording environment, however, and I don’t have the time right now to read through the pages and pages and pages and pages of computer theory right now to fully understand how to train one. So, improving PocketSphinx and running Sterling fully offline remains a stretch goal.

The TTS Engine

The Text to Speech engine is basically Sterling’s voice. This one was a bit easier to customize, and I’m thankful for that, because Jasper’s OG voice is a bit er… 90s computing for my tastes.

I shopped around for decent, human-sounding TTS options, and settled on installing Mimic1 TTS, Mycroft’s TTS engine, by hand, and modifying the Jasper source code to support it. Of all the TTS engines I tried, I felt that this one had the most natural intonation out of all of them. I liked the gruffness of the Scottish accent, and I think it really helped round out Sterling’s endearing, if a tad prickly, personality.

The Audio

This was another unforeseen hurdle. Turns out that I had his mic volume turned up way too high, because I greatly underestimated the capabilities of my tinyass five dollar USB microphone to pick up noises from within a furby. It took a bit of hacking in PulseAudio to get him hearing things properly, and I’m still not all the way happy with it, but he’s running wayyyy better than he did!

Another issue was the amount of time he actively listened for. It was way too short for my liking with the hardware I was using, so I had to edit Jasper’s mic.py source file a billion times before I hit a sweet spot. Even early on, my little shit child never liked to listen to me. :P

Pimp My AI

Once I got all that in working order, it was time to browse GitHub for modules to add! I found a surprising amount that were, as expected, outdated, janky, non-working, or in need of a complete rewrite. A non-exhaustive list of modules I rewrote and added to Sterling’s AI includes:

Wolfram Alpha integration

His translation function

The IMDB module that searches movie titles

The Dictionary and Thesaurus modules (minor additions to improve user friendliness)

The morning greeting module

The holiday countdown module

There are also plenty of modules I wrote on my own, that I’ll be showcasing here in due time, but I want to give special mention to the one I’m most proud of. You see, when I was a wee dumb bitch, I was… well, a wee dumb bitch! When I was informed furbies learn English, I thought they really learned English. Like, fluent English. I envisioned these kids straight up having full conversations with their lil robots with reckless and envious abandon. I was, as it happens, too poor to afford a furby at the time, so I didn’t realize until embarrassingly later that they only learn some words, and certainly can’t hold much of a conversation (in English at least).

Fast forward to twenty-bi-teen. I’m surfing GitHub, and I happen upon a Cleverbot module for Jasper allowing the AI to work as a chatbot. Fuck yeah, I think, because I had no life in 2008, or friends for that matter, so tormenting Cleverbot was my favourite pastime. Nostalgia trip GET!

…can you guess how much the silicon valley capitalist scum are charging for the once-free Cleverbot API now? A hundred and twenty. McGoddamn. Dollars. A YEAR.

So, to make a long story short, I turned my hat backwards and rage-coded a simple chatbot module that runs on an early version of Chatterbot capable of running on the raspberry pi. It’s fully offline, and completely free, and Sterling here has a database of ~400 phrases, which isn’t bad given the limited processing power! It took five straight days of work, it’s not the smartest chatbot, and it’s certainly not the fastest, but it gives me those sweet, sweet, circa 2008 Cleverbot vibes. Oh yeah, and it doesn’t cost me over a hundred goddamn dollars a year!

The first thing I said to the chatbot, of course, was “I’m so proud of you.” Through his shitty little testing mic that gave him a somewhat incredulous tone Sterling replied, “I’m glad to hear that.” and I’m not saying I shed a single themly tear over it, but I’m not denying it either. I made a childhood dream come true, fam. ;u;

There are way more Easter eggs I plan to show you, of course. At first I was thinking of doing one long video, but an update a day showcasing a different function might be easier to manage - and maintain some of that gold old sense of mystery that surrounds most furbies. No, I’m gonna take y'all on a little journey through the final product of my literal blood, sweat, and tears!

Besides, Sterling is a perpetual work in progress. He has a massive list of features, and I’ve already got more in the works. I could be in my eighties and still be adding more functions, more bells and whistles, more witty one-liners. He’s a one of a kind work of art that will never truly be finished - not unlike you and me.

The Glow-up

Here’s Sterling’s before pics from the seller I got him from:

(If u recognize these pics and ur the seller thank u thank u for giving me bmy boy)

And here’s after!

I come from a background of customizing ponies and dolls, so working on this guy wasn’t as far removed as I expected it to be. I added floof to his head and tail by sewing in wool plugs, and his gorgeous eyes are from in2blythe on Etsy. I wrapped him up in a little bow and he was good to go! His sterling silver beak, from which he gets his name, was the most finicky part. Turns out enamel paints take a million years to fucking dry, if ever, which isn’t great when painting something that sees a lot of movement and could potentially get dented by a face plate, like… idk, a furby beak! A bit of silver nail polish did the trick and he was good to go. Learn from my fail, fam.

What It Cost Me

If you’re masochistic determined enough to attempt this yourself, I want to sit you down and warn you of something: this will take months and hundreds of dollars to do. Installing Sterling’s AI and its necessary components on that shitty little raspberry pi over SSH took me a week at first, and that was with me leaving it on 24/7 to chug away compiling things. When I broke the SD card the AI was on and didn’t have a backup copy, it took four straight days of rage-computing to regain all my progress. Then when his audio processing got fucked all to hell for reasons I still do not understand to this day, it took another four days of rage computing to do yet another reinstall and get him back in working order. There were times where I would go to work for 8.5 hours, bus an hour home, work 6 straight hours on my furby, go to sleep for 4 of them, go to classes, sleep, and work 6 more hours on my furby. For two months. Sterling took from the third week of August from his initial inception to his birthday on October 23rd. That’s not to mention the time I fried everything and had to wait five days and travel to the bumfuck end of the city for a replacement pi and Crickit, or the days I spent customizing him, sewing in hundreds of little hair plugs into his ass and head by hand, and waiting for those shitty enamel paints to dry, only to discover after four straight days of failure that they take weeks to do so and I was better off using cheapo nail polish!

The point I’m making is, if you take on a project like this and want it to be successful, you have to be tenacious. I would highly recommend a background in coding (I have a web design diploma) and general tech savviness as an asset. Sterling is the product of the years I spent behind a computer keyboard from the start of age three, and the roughly ten years I spent customizing dolls and ponies. It’s cheesy as shit to say he’s my magnum opus, but in a way, he is.

I’m not saying this to be elitist or snotty. I’m saying this because I nearly broke down crying the first day the raspberry pi came in, before I slept on it and figured out what phrase to google to solve the crashes and kernel panics it was having. When I broke the SD card when I was nearly finished, I felt nothing, because I was all out of tears at that point. When I fried the first raspberry pi and Crickit hat trying to figure out how to bypass that DC jack, my only thought was, “Well, I think I know how to do it without fucking it up now, and if I can’t do it, this whole project is fscked” .

You will encounter errors that no step by step guide can prepare you for that will make you curse the day you were born. The difference between success and failure is how many times you’re willing to get up and try again, and I’m here to tell you it’s possible. But you gotta want it.

Will You Release the Code Base?

Yes and no. If there’s enough demand, I’ll definitely release Sterling’s basic modules as a scaffolding. I won’t be releasing Sterling, though.

What do I mean by that? Well, Sterling was intended from the start to be truly one of a kind, and he always will be. I hand wrote hundreds of lines of dialogue, all completely tailored to him, and I’m still planning on adding twice as many. Corny as this is, this little guy has a metric fuckton of sentimental value to me. I don’t have kids so idk how it would compare to that, but I definitely love him as much as I love my cats, but I also didn’t undergo two straight months of suffering in ADHD fixation hell to create my cats, so it adds like, a whole other twee dimension to it.

So, if there is demand for this, what I’ll release instead is a scaffolding from which you can code your own, unique furby from, with their own name, personality, and responses all unique to them. I’ll also release it with the caveat that I am not a good Python coder! I have not written any Python before this, so a lot of what I did write is noob-tastic and hasn’t even been linted. You have been warned!

“If I give you (insert amount), can you make one for me?”

Holy shit I’ll be real with you, I’d love to do this as a living. I’ve been dying to see a smart assistant hit the market that’s like… well, an actual, endearing companion and not just a voice coming from a speaker. The problem with doing this is that, if you drop a lot of money (and it will be a lot of money, even with a code base to work from, a lot of hours of handiwork still goes into coding individual responses and making sure everything works as intended, on top of possibly customizing too), there is one major problem: proximity. I won’t be able to troubleshoot your furby nearly as effectively from far away as I would be able to if we lived in close proximity. Which means if something goes wrong between the time your new friend is finished at point A and turned on at point B, I won’t be there to troubleshoot it in person for you, which means you could end up stuck figuring out certain things alone. If you use Windows, that will be very, very hard - not being an OS snob here, I own a dual boot myself, it’s just a case of incompatible file systems. And unless you can figure out how to edit the wpa_supplicant file on a raspberry pi to update your wifi credentials, your furby’s internet connection could be toast if you move house and those credentials change. That’s not getting into the cost some services charge for extra API keys to use their online functions…

The long and short of it is, if I’m going to do this for money, I want to make sure you get a quality product and friend that will bring you joy for years to come. Since that’s not something I can guarantee, I can’t in good conscience take people’s money.

I Could Teach You (And I Won’t Charge)

…however, I am a law student who is also working 8.5 hour night shifts three nights a week. I am also mentally ill/neurodivergent, which saps my energy in more ways than one. I won’t always be easy to get ahold of, or be able to answer every question I get, especially not ones that can be solved with a quick google search, like how to set up a raspberry pi, or… anything found on Adafruit’s Crickit guide, for example. When I have the time and energy, I’m hoping to use my next project as a jumping off point for a step by step walkthrough of the process. For now, though? I’ve been furbied out, so if there’s enough demand, I’ll compile as many of the resources I used I can find in the meantime, and post some tips from the word doc I kept while making Sterling, and go from there.

So What’s Next?

My one dad’s birthday is coming up in August, and I’m kicking around the idea of turning a furby into, I shit you not, a ghost hunting device. He loves ghost hunting, but hates robots, and as his gremlin shit child I am obligated to troll him in this fashion. 😎 Also considering doing a certain type of oddbody mod, but I want to get permission from the person who first thought of the concept before I dive head first into it.

And that about covers it! Thanks for reading, and if there’s anything you’d like to see from Sterling and I, don’t hesitate to drop us an ask!

[rorynne]

Pietro’s Pity Date

Pairing: Pietro/fem!Reader

Summary: Pietro gets stood up, so you decide to take him out to cheer him up.

Warnings: none that I can think of, its generally just fluff

Word count: 2.1k

A/N: This is a some what edited version of a personal Fic i wrote that I was really happy with. I edited out the majority of the more personal references and such, which may or may not be noticable if you really look. But il still happy with it.

Masterlist

Warm. It was so beautifully warm. You took a deep breath as the early June sun warmed your face. God, you loved summer. You moved your arms over the soft grass, this was so much better than winter in Russia. With a good chunk of the team off on missions or enjoying their days off, that left you able to relax on the compound grounds.

Really, you were supposed to be doing patrols since so few were on base, but there was FRIDAY for that. She could monitor the compound better than the entire team. You just needed to listen for her announcements and rush over to the breach, it was cake. Which left you to enjoy the nice summer day.

Or so you thought.

“Enjoying the sun, Princessa?” A teasing voice asked beside you. You opened an eye to see Pietro lying beside you, resting his head on your outstretched arm.

You hummed in response. “Are you enjoying using me as a pillow? I thought you had a date.”

Pietro sighed, “She didn't show. And I don't like waiting.” You frowned and looked at him. He liked casual flings and relationships, he would have a new girl every few weeks or so, but that didn't mean getting stood up didn't hurt. Nor did it mean he deserved it. He was always upfront about his intentions as well, making sure the girl knew it was only casual. Plus, from what you've seen, he was a damn good date.

“I’m sorry Piet, that's really shitty.”

He shrugged, “it is not like I was planning on marrying her, Princessa.” He was trying to hide it, but honestly, he looked like a kicked puppy staring up at the sky.

“Yeah, but it still hurts your pride.” You suggested and he nodded with another sigh.

“You are right. It definitely isn't fun.” He admitted, still not looking at you.

You took a deep breath and sat up, letting his head hit the ground without the support of your arm. “Alright! Enough of the pity party. Let’s go.” You stood up while Pietro looked at you, baffled. “You gonna just lay there all day or are we gonna go to that cafe you like?”

His lip twitched upward, though you weren't sure if it was in amusement or confusion. “What are you talking about, Princessa? Aren't you in charge of guarding the compound today?”

You scoffed, “You think stark doesn't have contingency plans in place in case everyone is gone? Come on, let’s go anywhere you like.” 

Pietro sat up, now clearly amused. “Are you asking me on a pity date?”

“Oh absolutely.” You teased, “Or just friends spending time together, but it is absolute because of how sad you look.” In all honesty, you wouldn't mind going on a date with Pietro at least once, but knowing his preference to keep things casual you always turned him down. You couldn't risk getting your heart broken by someone you cared so deeply for. You tapped the bracelet Tony gave you to operate FRIDAY remotely. “FRIDAY, initiate the Empty Nest Protocol. Responsible Avenger: Y/N L/N.”

“Empty Nest Protocol initiated” FRIDAY responded, “When are you returning?”

You glanced up at Pietro, who was already looking in a better mood. “That depends on Pietro. Thank you FRIDAY.” You smiled at him, “I'm glad you don't look like a kicked puppy anymore.”

“I didn't look like a kicked puppy.” He protested, but before you could respond he swept you into his arms and sped off. The world was a blur as he ran, the speed made it hard to even breathe, though being in his arms didn't help. You clung to his chest, wrinkling his shirt in your grasp, heart racing a mile a minute. You'd never get used to him doing this.

You looked around as he set you down. The buildings were in all forms of repair and disrepair as if the town was recovering from some type of disaster. Nevertheless, the street was beautiful, cobblestone roads and windows decorated in colorful flowers, the sun was hanging low in the sky, getting ready to set. It definitely was not New York. “Where did you take me?”

“To the cafe that I like.” He smirked as if that had answered your question perfectly. You looked at the storefront of the building you had stopped in front of to see a beautifully hand-painted sign in three different languages, of them, the only one you could read was the Sokovian. ‘Blue Moon Cafe’ the sign translated roughly to.

You raised an eyebrow, following him into the cafe, “And where exactly is this cafe located?” The inside of the cafe had an open airy feel, while still being distinctly homey. Potted plants and vines decorated the walls and tables, and light filtered in through large arched windows.

“Sokovia, Draga mea.” He smiled, leading you to a particularly sunny window table. “It’s my favorite cafe.” He explained before softly adding, “And I was feeling a little homesick.”

Your eyebrows shot up as you sat down, surprised he admitted to being homesick. “You don't get to come back very often do you? That's why you like that Sokovian cafe in New York.” Days off weren’t exactly common as an avenger. They tried to schedule them, but it was more often than not that the world decided it needed saving when you least expected it. It was a life of always being on call.

Pietro shrugged, “That is a very nice cafe, but nothing like home, no?” He looked out the window at the passing pedestrians. “Do you ever feel homesick, Princessa?” You looked at him, and then out the window with him. That was a strangely difficult question to answer.

You bit your lip, “I…” You recalled the time you spent away from the Avengers wishing to try having a normal life, “I did before I came back. The avengers are the closest thing I’ve ever had to a home.”

He looked at you with curiosity, probably wondering how open you intended to be, you never made it a habit to talk about your past. Such guardedness was practically expected with you, Natasha, and Clint. “You didn't have a home before the Avengers?”

You were quiet for a moment. “No, It’s hard to say I did.” You said before being saved by a cute waitress.

“Pietro!” She grinned, “It has been months.” Her Sokovian accent was strong, English likely wasn't something she practiced often. “Marta and I were starting to worry. Who is your friend?” She gave you a warm, welcoming smile.

Pietro smiled broadly to the girl, “This is Y/N. Y/N This is Julia, a childhood friend.”

You smiled back to her, “I'm happy to meet you.” You respond in Sokovian, the look she gave could only be described as shocked relief before giving you a mischevious smile.

“Be careful with Pietro,” She whispered, in Sokovian, loud enough for him to hear. “He’s Trouble” She winked.

His jaw dropped in mock offense. “I am not, don't tell her such things.”

You giggled, you already knew just how much trouble he was. “Don’t worry, I know how to out trouble Trouble.”

“I like this one Pietro.” She laughed, “Try not to lose her too quickly.” Your heart flipped slightly at the implication that you were his to even lose. “What would you like to order?”

“Coffee and, if you have it, some chocolate cake would be wonderful.” You requested.

“Only coffee for me.” Pietro smiled as she floated away towards the barista. He chuckled lightly as she passed, he was comfortable here, in a way that you weren't used to seeing. This was his home in the same way that the compound was yours.

“What was growing up in Sokovia like?” You questioned looking into his pale blue eyes. Seeing him happy like this made your heart squeeze.

“A lot like growing up anywhere else I am sure.” He shrugged as you were handed your orders. “Playing football in empty lots, dragging my sister around the city, riding bikes, hating school. Before our parents died I’m sure it was not much different from yours, no?” He probed again.

You shook your head, “I never went to school, and I’m sure the games my friends played were different from most.” Your childhood could probably be more comparable to Natasha’s than Pietro’s, but you didn't say that.

“You were homeschooled then?” He tried again, desperate to learn more about you.

You shrugged, “In a manner of speaking. I learned what they thought I should.” You took a bite of cookie before continuing, “If it wasn't considered useful, they didn't bother. What were your parents like?” You asked impulsively, before realizing the personal nature of the question. “I mean, if you want to talk about them.”

He huffed a short laugh, warm smile on his face, “They were good, kind. I love them dearly even now. My mother used to make the best chicken paprikash in the world. I think Wanda still has the recipe. And my father would always sneak us sweets.” His eyes shone at the memory. “I'm certain Mama knew, but she never stopped him. And every Saturday,” he pointed across the street to a small synagogue, “We would go to that synagogue for service.”

“I didn't know you were religious.” You commented, looking at the building. It had large gaps in it from the battle but otherwise looked beautiful.

He nodded, “My sister more so than I. After our parents died I got,” he paused, looking for the right word, “disillusioned to it all. I was angry. We both were, but I think I bore far more anger than her.”

You stared int your coffee cup, “You lost a lot, a loving family, a happy life, who could blame you?” You thought back on your own childhood, would you really have been so angered to lose that? Probably not, you decided as you recalled the darker days of your childhood, but Pietro didn’t have that. A sense of loss washed over you, you weren’t even allowed to be a child.

Pietro hummed in agreement as he sipped his coffee, “Despite it all, I can't regret my anger. Perhaps it led me to doing some not so good things, but without it, I would not have helped nearly so many lives.” He smiled looking at the synagogue. “I never thought I would say it, but I am glad to be an Avenger.”

“Yeah, I heard you hated us Avengers,” You teased. “Until you took a bullet for Clint.” You had missed the battle of Sokovia and the fight against Ultron.

He laughed, “He’s lucky I heal quickly.”

Your smile faded as you thought about it. Clint was the whole reason you were an Avenger. The closest thing to a brother that you had. “You saved my family you know. Thank you.” You swallowed, looking back out the window. “He’s, uh, all that I've got.”

Pietro didn't say anything for a time, but you couldn't bring yourself to look at him. “He isn't all that you have, Princessa.” He said softly, almost too softly for you to hear, “You have me as well.”

Your heart fluttered, “You know Piet, you really need to be careful about how you phrase things. You might give a girl the wrong idea one day.”

“I feel, perhaps I already have.” He said. “The one I care most about seems to believe I don't.”

Your heart lept to your throat as you parsed together his meaning. “I don't understand.”

“I care about you Princessa. Deeply. But I fear I've somehow managed to convince you otherwise.”

You shook your head, heart racing. “You always just want to have flings, you flirt with everyone.”

He gently touched your hand, “I wouldn't mind something more serious with you. But, you always say no.”

Your mind raced, you remembered the countless times he had asked you out, as well as the times he asked other girls out. He always made sure to specify it was only a casual thing with all of them. Except you, you realized, he never said any such thing to you, you just assumed. Words escaped you as your stomach swooped, “I, I thought.” You took a deep breath trying to steady your racing mind. “ You wouldn't mind that?”

“Would you?”

The way Pietro smirked at you, you were sure your face was about seven shades of pink. You half expected him to say he was just jokings. “I, I think I would like it.” You finally stammered out and his smirk grew into a grin.

“Would you like me to show you around Sokovia draga mea? There are many places here almost as beautiful as you.” He said smoothly, which frankly did nothing for your already racing heart.

“I think I would like that too.”

Taglist (cause fuck it):

@part-time-prefect

[into-september]

The Miraculous Ladybug Musical Christmas Episode is amazing, pass it on

 - I love how this episode went from “Cat Noir decides to ruin Christmas” to “Sad Rich Boy runs away from home and ruins Christmas for all his friends who got worried and went out to search for him” to “Ladybug legitimately ruins Christmas by attacking Santa for talking to her crush and giving Hawkmoth an opening for turning him evil”. I mean, ultimately it all goes back to Gabriel Agreste being A) a shitty father too busy wallowing in his own grief to comfort the son he knows wants nothing more than his company, and B) being a supervillain who can’t even let it rest on Christmas Eve, but it’s amazing how both Adrien and Ladybug did their bits in fucking things up there

 - Marinette and Chloé’s "Merry Christmas” exchange is A+, particularly since it’s Chloé listening to her father for once

(unrelated, but I have so many thoughts about Chloé’s home situation and fact that her quasi-autocratic father who mindlessly abuses his powers on the demand of his daughter is in fact the good parental figure in her life, and one of the three things I want out of this show is for Chloé to be redeemed for good. The other two is that Gabriel isn’t or that he at least gets to pay his dues first like Asami’s dad on LoK, and obviously that Marinette and Adrien get together because this is the first time in years that anyone has written a couple on screen with a romance I find entertaining and not annoying. But back to the Amazing Christmas Musical Episode,)

- I like Cat Noir’s Emo Kid song the best but Ladybug serenading Adrien’s perfume ad also wasn’t bad, if only because it’s even more unintentionally hilarious

 - I’m happy to note that I wasn’t the only one getting the Troy Bolton vibes from Cat Noir’s angry song

 - The songs were also surprisingly... not badly translated, being a Disney Channel dub. They hardly seem like great poetry in the English dub I’m assuming they’re using as the source given the pronunciation of “Marinette”, and they’re... at least not cringey because of bad rhymes. Even if they had to resort to have Ladybug sing the old as balls phrase for expressing affection that no person has uttered since 1880, because saying that you love someone is a three-syllable-word plus a preposition and it screws up your metrics when you’re translating from English. (guess how well the most iconic line from "On My Own" goes here) I can’t fault them too much for this, since that phrase-nobody-ever-says might qualify as a legit trope at this point. 

(Makes it all the weirder that they don’t translate the songs in the Descendants films, which they dub but leave the songs in English and the few odd moments I’ve caught have been weeeeeird.)

 - Ladybug and Cat Noir in a pile in her living room must’ve been Alya’s best present ever

 - For all that Adrien moans about being “caged in”, it’s a wonder they haven’t put bars on his windows yet, given that this is not the first time he’s mysteriously disappeared out of the second floor

 - This episode also rather highlighted the contrast between Adrien’s home and social life. Yes your father is a jerk and you’re rightfully upset about his neglect, a lot. And yes the big blowout starting this all rather highlighted the problematic sides of Christmas being such an extremely family-focused holiday in a lot of places (France apparently included) that it amplifies the loneliness of having no family, or worse, a family that refuses to celebrate with you. But my boy, my man, you also had a dozen people leaving their Christmas dinners to go out looking for you after you ran away from home like a five year old who didn’t get his will, and then they showed up to celebrate with you in the end. Adrien is a willfully neglected child, but come on - he’s not lonely. 

 - ...even if from the looks of it, the famous teenage model only got two Christmas presents. 

[k4nill]

ROTTMNT Headcannons for a Friend ~ S/O being sick.

Sorry i'm damnnnn late but translating this took a me while hahaha I hope you get better soon dear!!! @turtlestanfirst.

Raph

> Calls you all the fluffiest pet names with that sweet "hey buddy" tone all the time you are sick.

> Rather visit you than having you in quarentene by Donnie on the lair (and also to have some time alone)

> Raph is most likely to pick you up for anything, so forget about being able to walk for a while.

> Tries to cook for you, but it's always the same Raph special Hot Soup™ (ramen noodles with maccaroni and spaguetti pasta, Raph is a high-cab guy) still, is warm as his heart and a delight.

> He understands how tired you must feel so he suggest soft activities (having netflix marathons of movies, a console game, board games, BUT NEVER FUCKING UNO HE WILL CRY IF YOU THROW HIM THAT +4 CARD)

> He's the one who would probably ask you if you wanted him to leave or if you want to be alone, he thinks he's too suffocating. (It is a little, but you know, he cares too much)

> Builts a pillow fortress for you and when entering he says: "you need something, your majesty?" He just treats you like royalty.

> Blast your favorite songs and sings for you in the smoothest jazzy voice. (you know his beautiful deep ass voice)

> Let's say you are so entretained you and Raph forget the time for your meds, still you take em, but like 5 hours late.

> Raph constantly talks about his family and friends. He's the one to bring up deep conversations topics (about him being the leader , not being good enough, concerned by his brothers dumbassery) and you open up as well. Raph is full of emotions and loves to be listened to and he'll do the same for you.

>His eyes become crystalline when you start coughing or when the thermometer marks a mild fever.

> He tries to clean your place. Tries, but most likely to trash it a little bit more... Just a little.

> When you told him you were sick he came rushing, didn't even think of getting sick himself, so, after you recover is most likely you have to take care of him.

> Dumb dumb also didn't tell his family where tf he was, so he made his family a little concerned.

Donnie

> Boy thinks He's Dr. House or some shit like he'll ask you all you symptoms and then he tells you with his dorky "Mr. I know all" smirk that is a rare desease that you can only adquire on the amazon rainforest like... You have a cold.

> Doesn't want to get sick (a waste of time) and definitely don't want anyone on the lair sick cuz they are DRAMATIC AF when they get sick.

> So he suits himself up with those NBC suits and ask you to stay in a (previously prepared) station in the lab, which is basically a sickbed with some comfy futons (that he stole from Leon), with a screen near for your entretainment, and tons of pillows.

> Programs Shelldon so you can have your meds on time or if you need something he can bring it to you.

> You may find a plushie in the station and ask Donnie where he got it and he'll tell you with the most monotone and uninterested tone : "Oh I took it from Leon, it was with the pillows, don't mind it, you can take it home if you want"

> YEAH THE BITCH TOTALLY FOUGHT A CAT FOR IT ON THE FUCKING DUMPSTER AND HE'S SCREAMING INTERNALLY WHEN YOU SAY: "Thanks, it's cute."

> He'll work on some project but high-key is not, he's watching you all the time, like you are watching some dank ass memes and look over to see him and he does that "thing", you know when you pretend you stare at nothing when they catch you staring at someone?

> He' wearing the suit but with any barely improvement of the symptoms he'll take it off and get closer to you cuz he misses being close to you.

> Won't allow you to be just in bed tho, he says activity is important. So he takes you out to dance to your favorite songs and his weeb songs. (Bootyyyshaker9000 entered the game)

> When you are getting ready to go to sleep, he tucks you in, gets his caffeine overdose and in your deep dream state he plugs you in a machine to continue to monitor your sickness.

> Gets sick cuz he's a dummy and took the suit to early, also not enough sleep can lower your defenses.

Leon

>Ok low-key the doctor of the family, (I live for this HC of Leon being a doctor) knows right away you are sick when you come in the lair.

> Also doesn't want you in quarentene (Damn Donnie it's not time to test that gigant quarentine snow globe protocol) so takes you to the "Neon City". (Leon's room is filled with Neon signs of all kinds.)

> Lets you use his bed, no questions and doesn't take a no for an answer. (plus his eye mask)

> In the shelfs they are these plants and miniature zen garden, rubik's cube, some origami stuff, figurines....he shows you how to take care of the plants, solve 3d puzzles, even teaching you origami (Leon is a very zen person, if he doesn't have a break from the meme lord he is he would've snapped a long time ago) and his personal favorite: sewing patches to his gigant bed sheet (he started trimming pieces of fabrics and putting em together, remember they aren't rich but resourceful) just to keep you entretained.

> But board games are next level shit, you don't want to play because Leon is a really bad loser/winner he's dumbass and will always complain.

> You two end up watching compilations of memes and vines for HOURS, until you decide is time to watch a movie, but wait its the fucking 69 movies of Jupiter Jim the only thing in the catalogue.

> But you love to reenact your favorite scenes with him, and maybe, just maybe he would let you be Captain Jim this time.

> We all know Leon is really clumsy, yet he's really gentle and soft when he wants to. He treats you the same as always (quoting shitty vines and hideous oneliners from time to time) but he tries to touch you a lot more and if you think of something it's like he already read you mind and bring you what you wanted or needed. Smooth mofo.

> Leon isn't obsessive when it's something mild (like a cold) he knows is something temporary and just want you to keep you distracted, without feeling suffocated or making you feel you can't do anything.

> But if it was something like a broken bone, beatings in general or you having a relapse in any major illness he would get depressed. He won't be as bright with you or with others, his behaivor would shift from 100 to 1 until you get better.

> In this last scenario, silently cries when people he cares about (that are in this state) are asleep, cuz he can't make them heal faster or make them feel better. His brothers snap, are agressive, are short tempered and anxious when they are in this situation, Leon just shuts down and bottles up his feelings of impotence.

>Also another dummy who gets sick, he's a pain in the ass who thinks he's gonna die soon, but give him all the attention an cuddles and he'll be a good boy.

Mikey

>Stole literally all the comfy items (plushies, futons, shelldon, Raph's hot soup) to give it to you.

> Mikey is not knowledgable in med stuff, so he often ask Leon or Donnie about your sickness but won't credit them lol.

> The entire time wears a classic halloween costume nurse hat and wears a white coat and a fake glasses with a mustache when he wants to be a doctor. (plus: makes his voice a little deeper)

> He says that the lair isn't at all like a hospital but the hospital is made by all the good will people of the personal that want to help others, so he dresses up to make you feel in one. You can't help but enjoy everytime he changes from a nurse to a doctor having their monologues about payday and gossiping about the "other" staff.

Dr. Mikey: "Dr. Saenz just told me that he's firing Barbara because he didn't bought him the right sidedish with his pizza."

Nurse Mikey: "hOW DARES BARBARA DISRESPECT DR. SAENZ ONION RINGS WITH BARBECUE SAUCE"

> And takes the game kinda far.

Dr. Mikey: "yOU INSURANCE DOESN'T COVER THIS!!!"

You: "Ok doctor what about if I make a deposit of hugs in the bank for this?"

Mikey:"O-okay!!!! I'm the bank man now!!! (Totally changed into a bank man just adding a red tie)

> Mikey won't turn down your entretainment, neither his. So he'll paint and let you paint saying is your recovery therapy.

> You would have a lot of fun but sometimes you'll feel a little ashamed to show what you did because honestly Mikey is really good, nontheless he'll will always compliment your art and keeps everysingle piece in storage (even things you think he should throw away).

> Mikey's meds skills are basically laugh therapy.

> While his brothers are calm he kinda panics and pretends everything is okay, until he trips on an imaginary banana peel or drops just one of your pills he snAPS and says he's sorry he's not a good enough nurse/doctor in the verge of tears. (Of course you later reasure him his not.)

> He's just so active but he knows you can cope with him, it's sorta frustraiting to him to lower her normal energy levels.

> Doesn't get sick, surprisingly.

[natsspammityspamspamham]

How did you get into seiyuu? How long have you been into seiyuu?

I guess I'm kind of curious now because of something that came up on the seiyuu discord. I’m asking the people on Reddit so I figured I might as well ask the people here too! 

[REDDIT THREAD]

My answer: I personally got into seiyuu because I watched American voice actors in American cartoons like Spongebob, Phineas and Ferb, etc. I got into seiyuu (Japanese voice actors) around four years ago. I was originally into American voice actors in American cartoons like Dee Bradley Baker, Tom Kenny, Grey DeLisle, and Kari Wahlgren. When I started watching anime in high school, I started to be interested in the voices there too! I was really surprised that seiyuu sing, dance, and do other things. Usually, American voice actors do small time acting gigs and things. I later learned about character songs and idols. I'm actually still not completely used to idol culture. I enjoy watching seiyuu though! It's interesting to know the people behind your favourite characters. 

Please respond by reblogging this with a response or commenting!

I’ll be including some responses below! 

I’ll be editing for clarity, and I will be bolding and putting italics for the seiyuu names and put regular italics for the anime.

SomaSaiba: “When I kept hearing the same voices in different anime. I looked up who it was and it was Yoshitsugu Matsuoka. But that was the first time I searched for a seiyuu but didn’t get into it.

Then I was watching Overlord and Clementine’s performance was so crazy and good, I had to look up which seiyuu voiced her. Turns out it was Aoi Yuuki and was blown away when I realized she also voiced Froppy from My Hero Academia and Madoka from Madoka Magica. And that was the time I started to get into seiyuu.”

grimmscool: “I don't remember why or how but I stumbled into AGQR (A&G+) site around 4~5 years ago. It was Asumi Kana's radio playing and it was somewhat fascinating. She talked about her recent events and one of them is about her role in Working! anime. That one sparked my interest and I decided to google her name. I was surprised that a voice actor/actress is doing a job other than voicing character.

After that, I went to YouTube and tried to look for other seiyuu radio. I randomly select one and the next thing showed up in my recommendation was Durarara Radio (Hanazawa Kana and Toyonaga Toshiyuki). I listened to that and it was unexpectedly hilarious!! From there, it was a freefall, a fun one. I finished a playlist of full-size Durarara Radio in a week or less, and my YouTube recommendation was full of seiyuu radio, anime radio clip, and livestream back then. Aside from YouTube, I also tried to explore AGQR and met with various radio by seiyuu, such as Yahagi Sayuri and Sakura Ayane's Choroi, Iguchi Yuka's muuun, etc etc.”

Seiyuu's internet radio and other seiyuu related contents are becoming part of my routine since then, even now.”

RooNelo: “It started for me maybe 6 years ago. I was watching Oreshura and Ai Kayano’s voice acting really caught my attention. It was the first time I really listened instead of just reading the subs. From then on, I couldn’t ignore the talent of seiyuu. Accumulating a list of favourite ones led to me checking out radio and event clips on YouTube. That just added another layer of enjoyment beyond their anime roles.”

kayano_ai: “Maybe 2012 or 2013 so ~6 to 7 years by now. My friend who was into seiyuu talked about them a lot and since I was watching a lot of anime at the time I got into it naturally as well. Seiyuu stuff has really gotten bigger and is marketed much more now, even compared to only 6 years ago [in my opinion].”

AntonKutovoi: “I guess it started with Musou games and One Piece, wherein a good chunk of episodes I went "Hey! That voice sounds familiar!". So I eventually started remembering names of the voice actors, and later started to find out other activities, like character songs, events and stage plays.”

14hellraiser: “Since my first anime (2015). I loved [Hanazawa] Kana's voice and ended up following her. When I realized it I knew tens of seiyuu and was deciding what to watch based on them

I now regret having wasted shows like Dragon Ball when I was a kid. I watched the original version recently and it was a million times better than those shitty dubs”

Nagareboshi12: “For me, I can't really remember when that time No Game No Life was airing, and I noticed the voice actor for Sora (Matsuoka Yoshitsugu) and Shiro (Kayano Ai) have the same voice for Sorata and Shiina in Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo. I started to google and read about their biographies. I start to adore them because I watch a lot of anime, and I didn't recognize them at that time. Then the No Game No Life radio came, and I also join the Matsuoka x Kayano ship.”

dend08: “dunno when but I believe it's quite recent, I think it's because of this one video about how Sugita Tomokazu respects Yukana so much. That got me interested in other seiyuu as well.”

AoHime: “Always had an interest but never got into it till 2017. Stumbled upon the Konosuba event with Fukushima Jun and Takahashi Rie and the FGO radio. That started it and then started following other people, Tokyo Encounter, etc and thus here.”

ii-naa: “After a long hiatus from not watching anime (I loved Chobits, Sakura Wars, and Honey & Clover when I was a kid), I started on K-On! because of one tiny bit of Led Zeppelin reference they had in one episode and got freaking hooked. After that, I wanted to watch more anime with the same voice actresses and from there I got to Oreimo (Ayana Taketasu, Satomi Sato), Hanasaku Iroha (Aki Toyosaki), A-Channel (Minako Kotobuki), and Inu x Boku SS (Yoko Hikasa). Since then it kinda spiralled; Oreimo introduced me to Nakamura Yuichi, Hanazawa Kana, and Hayami Saori which then turns to watch Hyouka (all K-On! main members bonus!). I could go endlessly on tracing them all, but I guess you got the gist of things.

Though the anime that made me fell deeper into the seiyuu rabbit hole is Durarara and the fact that they have a fully English subbed seiyuu event on YouTube. Respect to the translator. Definitely, an ensemble cast of seiyuu that anime has.”

[eurosong]

ESC 2018 vs 2019 - Semi-final 2

Good afternoon, folks! A few days ago, I took a look at the songs of Eurovision 2019’s first semi-final, comparing them with songs from the same countries in 2018 and sharing my verdict on which year was better and why. Now it’s the turn of semi-final 2! Again, I try to see as much good as possible in each song and I mean no offence to anyone who disagrees with these opinions. 

·        Albania – 2018 – Albania had always been a bit of a bête noire for me at this contest, because they would so often pick fabulous songs at their long-running Festival i këngës national final, only then to completely mutilate them musically and (with the help of Bing translator, lyrically) in the revamp. Last year, that trend hopefully came to an end in the most glorious fashion when Eugent Bushpepa didn’t make any major change to Mall, one of the songs that most impressed me in this era, a soaring, moving, poëtic cri de cœur of a song. This year, they have also opted to neither translate nor musically mutate. I like their 2019 song a lot, but it’s a Scafell Pike to last year’s mighty Everest.

·        Armenia – 2019 – as a glossophile who always advocates the use of national languages over English, I have some respect for Qami, the only song Armenia ever sent entirely in their language. Respect, but no love, because I found it merely ok and rather repetitive. I thought this would be a second year in a row that I’d be underwhelmed by Hayastan, but whilst this year’s offering cannot shape up to the majestic Fly with me, it’s become an earworm and I enjoy the fiery defiance of Srbuk’s lyrics and the incorporation of traditional instrumentation into something otherwise decidedly contemporary.

·        Austria – 2018 – I seem to be one of very few people rating this year’s gentle, stripped-back but impassioned Austrian entry. It more than tilts its cap in the direction of Kate Bush, but I am down with that. However, it would really take some doing to beat last year’s Austrian song, Nobody but you, in my estimations – a worthy winner of the jury vote and probably the ESC’s best ever gospel-infused song for my money.

·        Azerbaijan – 2019 – I’m not as won over by this Azeri effort as many people that I know. I was expected something rather different from their snippet (a word I wish I will never hear again given the amount of them this year). It’s not bad by usual standards though, and is certainly a class above Delete My Heart and its bizarre computer-generated lyrics last year.

·        Croatia – 2018 – Last year’s Croatian song was a rather lame reimagining of Sam Brown’s Stop. I didn’t like the original and I sure didn’t fancy the semi-skimmed version that much either. Having said that, Franka, all is forgiven. Your song is a delight compared to the demonic screeching of this young budding ego ironically wearing (fluffy) angel wings. I thought Jacques Houdek had unleashed enough hell with his Maa fwenn/Moy frennddd but it was nothing compared to this abomination. It’s so bad that it almost scares me how bad it is.

·        Denmark – 2019 – Another one where I go against the grain is Denmark. I never got the hype for Rasmussen, whose song sounded like a soundtrack for some 90s direct-to-video movie about Vikings. The only thing is that they managed to make even Vikings feel lame. It all seemed a little OTT and gimmicky to me, and the amount of repetition and the cliché pitch shift both annoyed me. On paper, this hyper-sweet Danish song should also grind my gears, but in a subpar year, I’ve actually grown a fondness for it. Maybe the Frenchness of it all was what won me over. I hope they’re not actually going to sway side to side on a big chair in the actual final, though.

·        Ireland – 2018 – Two decent songs in a row from Ireland and it’s difficult to choose between them, even though neither set my world alight. I still think the staging of last year was rather cynical – two enamoured lads who had little to with the song about heartbreak, but did seem to win over some folk who otherwise would have dismissed it as a boring ballad. Seeing it live, it was quite moving, and I was able to put this incongruousness out of mind. This year’s entry has rather less artifice and a low-key charm, but I have to go for ’18 as having more depth as a composition.      

·        Latvia – 2018 – Despite never having reached the heights of Aminata who pulled them up from the non-qualification doldrums, I’ve enjoyed every subsequent song from Latvia, even though the standards of Supernova have dropped since the Riga Beaver stopped delighting us in the ad breaks. This year’s Latvian song is delightfully low-key, the kind of thing I imagine hearing on the radio late at night, driving in the rain. At the minute, though, I have to say I still prefer the sultry, tempestuous Funny Girl – though Esam­iba would have topped both.

·        Macedonia – 2018 – Macedonia, perhaps the country at the contest who least has received their dues despite some excellent songs, is a perfect illustration of how difficult these 2018 vs 2019 choices can be. Their entry this year, “Proud”, is touching and impactful on first listen, but I’ve seldom sought out to listen to it much since then. On the other hand, I was absolutely obsessed with last year’s “Lost and found”, bewitched by its changes in style and tempo. Unfortunately, the live version of 2018 was an absolute clusterfuck; it felt as though someone had been deliberately tasked with ruining their qualification chances, and that casts a shadow over the song in retrospect. I wouldn’t be surprised if 2019 is a more effective song on the stage, but for the time being, I prefer 2018 musically.

·        Malta – 2019 – There is absolutely no contest here for me. This is the first song sent by Malta that manages to hold my interest since “Tomorrow” way back in 2013. It’s more daring and contemporary than I ever imagined would be their choice. In a different universe from the screechy “Taboo.” It’s also refreshing to have a Maltese song that doesn’t try to get brownie points from their message.

·        Moldova – 2018 – A truly plague vs cholera choice. 2018’s bizarre Kirkorov-spawned ode to the ménage-à-trois versus this year’s painfully, painfully dull ballad-by-numbers with rhyming-also-by-number (rhyming say with stay, never with forever. Troolee jeenyuss.) I have to go with 2018, which creeped me out, but at least was kind of interesting in its own weird way, and its staging showed ingenuity despite limited resources.

·        Netherlands – 2018 – I’m sure for a lot of people, this choice is a no-brainer, but for me, it is very much a difficult choice. I really loved “Outlaw in ‘em”, Waylon’s country style is up my street and, whilst I still think “Thanks or no thanks” would have been a cannier choice, I appreciated one of the few moments last year in which one could rock out. “Arcade” is a different beast entirely, so comparisons are odious. Both are stirring, but OIE is riotous and defiant, whilst Arcade is poignant. It’s hard to choose just one, but I have to go for the one I’m more likely to have on repeat, last year’s song.

·        Norway – 2019 – Oh, Norway. For a few glorious years, with Margaret Berger, Karl Espen and then especially Mørland, they were the coolest thing going out of the Nordics – but how the mighty have fallen. I haven’t really liked a single one of their entries since then and once again, I am faced with a choice between two unsavoury options. Their entry this year sounds like Aqua went into the woods for a spiritualistic retreat, came back, wrote a shitty b-side about the experience and then decided not to release it, only for some Norwegians to find it about 20 years later and pass the song off as their own. Everything about it makes me cringe on an almost existential level. It appals me that the “come on barbie, let’s go pardy”-style joiking is being compared to JHF who actually representing joik in a classier way. I say all this, and yet, this year’s offering is still not ás bad as 2018’s “That’s how you write a song”, a “children’s TV show theme” song whose cosmic irony would be funny were it not so tragic.

·        Romania – 2018 – I didn’t think this would be such a tough decision when I found out the results for Selecţia Naţionala, and was absolutely amazed that the public had only 1/7th of the result, and that the juries had catapulted a song that only picked up 3% of the televote (Laura Bretan, the televote winner, got a 42% share, in contrast) on the back of a rather dubious live performance. I’m still not sure why Ester puts on a vocal affectation that makes her sound like she’s having a tantrum, but somehow the song’s dark ambiance and the hilarious video won me over. It still can’t compare to last year’s emotional, underrated effort which brought to mind departed friends.

·        Russia – 2019 – Sergey’s return is a little pompous and will certainly be wrapped up with unnecessary staging frills; that being said, it’s a decent song, which is more than I can say about the truly ghoulish “I won’t break,” whose only virtue for me – being slightly better than the hideous and ungrammatical “Flame is burning” – was removed when I saw that impossibly bad staging, confining their singer almost embarrassedly into the background.

·        Sweden – 2019 – For the first time in a few years, Sweden have sent an artist and song that I don’t find completely objectionable. That isn’t to say that I don’t find any objection at all – soul is not really soul when it is so heavily manufactured, and I cannot help but feel that they’ve taken more than a fair amount of inspiration from both Austria of last year and Bulgaria of 2016. Nonetheless, I can bear it a lot better than Dance you off.

·        Switzerland – 2018 – For once, I actually had a little bit of hope for Switzerland, who have been going through the motions with some turgid fare for the last number of years, with the only exception for me being Hunter of Stars. Going internal made me feel they had something exceptional, and I guess they thought they did, but for me, instead they brought a thinly veiled male take on Fuego and little more. Last year’s effort also didn’t impress me much, a dirgey bit of trust fund faux-rock (frock?), but I’ll take it over the Chernobyl levels of radioäctive smugness exuded by this latter Swiss attempt.

And as for the automatic qualifiers:

·        Germany – 2018 – When I heard that Barbara Schöneberger, she of the eyes that are bigger than Lake Baikal and seems permanently traumatised, was coming back after a year’s absence as host, I joked that I was amazed she was given back the gig given that every year she’s been in charge, there’s been an abject failure and the one edition where she was absent, Germany managed to get a fantastic result. I feel they’re back to their losing ways with Sister, a song performed by a group called S!sters who have only known one another for a few months if that. It’s one of many songs this year with decent verses but a horrible chorus. It’s supposed to be a celebration of sisterhood, but it feels moreso like these two want to scratch the other’s eyes out whilst they stand there, wailing at one another. There were things that annoyed me about last year’s German entry too, particularly the large section in which he merely said “whoahaoaoaoa” as if he’d run out of ideas for lyrics, but it was otherwise a stellar, well-written effort. In another league to these imaginary sisters.  

·        Italy – 2019 – Italy is one of the very few countries where I prefer 2019 to 2018, 2018 to 2017, 2017 to 2016 and 2016 to 2015! They just get better year on year. I adored “Metamoro” and still consider their song a huge highlight, one of the best of last year and of recent years. It’s incredibly difficult to choose between them and Mahmood’s Soldi, but he somehow managed to win me over even more with his anthemic, autobiographical song which has a contemporary edge but also the timelessness and quality of San Remo orchestral compositions. My number one this year so far.

·        UK – 2019 – Eurovision: You Decide got even drearier than usual this year. Whilst other countries like France increased the number of songs from which their viewers could choose, BBC cut their choices down to three, got two sets of people to perform each song in a different style pastiche and then didn’t even allow the viewers to choose which rendition they preferred. We ended up with a bog-standard “X factor winners’ single”-style song that SVT told John Lundvik not to perform for them. It has the edge because it at least “hey muvva, bruvva” lyrics or random Casio noises in the background like Surie’s song. She really deserved more.

[saddlepunk]

I wrote a lot of words about neopets colors and now you can put your eyes on it

It started out as a genetics thing but then it took a dive into “so what the fuck is up with those weird colors that add horns n shit right?” and now its a whole mess, but its a mess that you can now read. Honestly I do my best hcing when people ask me questions and i gotta make up answers on the spot so like.... feel free to pick this apart and do whatever you want with it.

With some further ado:

Loose neopets color genetics stuff, to be taken with a huge rock of salt because I don’t know the first thing about like……… pelt color genetics. I did some basic googling but I can’t understand any of it honestly. Plus like….. This is the Most Overarching Approach to all of this because i’m sure it varies based on species. Either way if any of ya’ll are science types and you wanna translate this into something more scientifically sound by all means go ahead. There’s a really good chance this is gonna make 0 sense even from a non-scientific standpoint bc uuuuuh. It’s 97% stream of conscious and mostly focused around what i’ve done for my own characters tbh-

Most paintbrush colors represent specific pelt/scale/skin/feather/whatever patterns that can appear on any neopet of a specific type. I’m not good enough at genetics to sort them right now, but there are certain colors that are more dominant/recessive/behave in weird ways when paired together to get each coat color. Also: in this case, any clothes that come with a paintbrush aren’t like… an inherent part of that coloration. It refers solely to the color/pattern of the neopet. Any accessories are, at best, just a popular fashion choice among neopets with certain pelts.

Either way, through whatever genetic nonsense, the colors for each neopet represented by a “paintbrush” would be considered the like… 100% pure standard form, and are actually considered more rare than hybrid color schemes just because anybody who’s like “i’ll only make babies other polka dot neopets >:/” comes off as kinda racist and probably isn’t very popular. It’s the kinda thing that’s reserved for shitty rich families who wanna preserve a bloodline, but like…….. Its Y21 and that kinda thing is way outta fashion. The only exception here are the basic red/blue/yellow/green colors, just because of… idk. Something about alleles? It’s a real dominant gene. The exact shades of those colors can vary wildly but it’s the most common look for a lot of neopets.

Once you’ve got the general coat color genes out of the way, there’s other stuff that determines things like  “Where are those rainbow patterns placed? How many stripes are there on this specific pet?” And then even further things like “is this pattern consistent? Are there any mutations present?” by which I mean like….

Take Petya for example. He’s technically a purebred rainbow pet (even tho i just said that’s not really common but listen he’s got Plot Circumstances). However, he’s a Marble/Rainbow. The main difference between a Marble Rainbow and just like… a normal White/Rainbow hybrid basically comes down to the brightness and placement of the rainbow colors. The Marble gene in xweetoks acts similarly to how it works on foxes: a predominantly white pelt with specific color placements. Because of all the fantasy magic space bullshit  those color placements are rainbow stripey, and typically turn out closer to pastel. On a White/Rainbow mix, you’d get a much brighter color and a more irregular pattern distribution or a fullbody pastel stripe situation.

So all of that is to say that even in “purebred” pets there’s weird like…. Subcolors that appear. When you start combining colors and adding in mutations that crop up over time eventually you end up with neopets that Just Kinda Look Like Whatever, as is the case with Dumptruck. Out of canon he’s a fucked up raccoon xweetok, but in canon he’s just… a Mutt. I’m sure if he did whatever the neopets equivalent of 23andme he’d find some tyrannian in his blood. His family probably shows a predilection towards spotted or desert pelts just because he Brown. I don’t think anybody knows what a raccoon is in this world.

So basically a lot of like… real world coat stuff shows up over in the neopets world in one way or another. General stuff like marbles and tabbies and whatever else are considered relatively common, but there’s still stuff like piebalds and vitiligo too, and honestly determining the difference between those and a normal splotchy/spotty pet mostly comes down to like…… the predominant colors/patterns of their parents/the specific type of neopet. Like, a piebald uni isn’t much to look at because that’s just like…. A species thing. That’s common for them.

It should also be noted that “glow” is a totally valid “normal” coat thing. Just a little bit of bioluminescence. Sometimes it’s a fullbody thing, sometimes it’s just specific markings. Somehow, someway, that’s just a Thing a lot of neopians can do.

Next up is all the like……. Weird “colors”. Tyrannian/darigan/maraquan/etc etc etc. Basically any color that adds things like horns/wings/weird tails/etc but is Still Organic (so no toy/relic/etc colors) are considered more like a subspecies, and could, in theory, be combined with any of the other pelt colors. In these cases, however, it’s a lot more likely to find “purebred” types, if only for compatibility reasons. That is to say, maraquans usually only ever make more maraquans, because for a lot of them a romance with someone on land just isn’t practical or, in some cases, physically possible. That isn’t to say they’re totally incapable of hybridizing, it’s just a lot trickier. I think the easiest way to put it is like… coyotes and dogs can technically breed because they’re kinda the same thing, but not really, and they just… don’t usually go through the trouble. I guess that means that technically the names of all the known neopets are just… their scientific names? U got urself a draik dariganus or smth idk. Also: Snot falls into the subspecies category and not one of the other categories I’ll bring up later. For one reason or another snot/slime is just… a common thing.

This gets REALLY fun in cases like the halloween color, which in some pets manifests just as a different color/pattern but in others produces a full on subspecies and the difference is basically up to chance. The subspecies ends up classified with the coat color namely because of the similar theming. Also, speaking of the halloween color: any cases where the color underneath the clothes is just a normal coat color it’s not usually classified as being a separate color within this world. A halloween peophin isn’t a special shade of blue. It’s a normal peophin who spent way too much on a witch costume. Therefore, as far as story stuff goes, there’s no such thing as a halloween peophin.

The next type of pet are the more elemental type ones. That’d be your water, woodland, swamp gas, magma, ice, and some (but not all) fire neopets, plus any others in that vein that I might be forgetting. For the most part, I think element-based neopets exist as something closer to cryptids. Fire is more common without the actual flame bits, but even those with them are a little more common (again, more of a specific subspecies within a specific community, namely because it’s real hard for anyone who isn’t made of fire to smooch all up on someone who is). Either way, there’s some proof that neopets like that exist, they just usually keep to their own communities away from everyone else and don’t care too much about being bothered. They’ve got Lore that needs digging into, but its all that sorta “we got made by some kinda god/goddess/etc our bodies are brought forth by their grace we spurn the heathen world outside blah blah blah.” obviously there are other cases that can lead to these guys showing up outside of those divine happenings, but they’re like…… once every few hundred year occurrences.

Any non-organic/non-elemental brush (so this would be relic/toy/robot/etc) are more common than the element types, but typically fall into three categories: constructs given life, people who have been cursed, or victims of random magic. Constructs are usually in the toy/robot category, with robot being the more common of the two. There was a lot of legal stuff that went around in circles for a while when people started making fully-sentient neopet replicas, and eventually, as is often the case in any good robot freedom story david cage does not count here they pretty quickly earned the right to live their own lives. It’s now illegal for any non-construct neopet to make a new construct, but constructs themselves can apply for the rights to produce new models so long as they can prove they aren’t forcing that new construct to fill a role they don’t want.

Relic and jelly pets generally fall into the “cursed” category, and there are legal systems set in place for them to receive justice, although these types of curses are difficult to reverse. Occasionally things like relic/toy/any of the metallic colors can just… happen. There’s a lot of weird magic in the world. Look under the wrong log or in the wrong cave and all of a sudden you’ve got a shiny new biological makeup. “Ice” typically falls under the elemental category, but it’s also not uncommon to see it appear in these cases as well. Be it through cursing or bad luck, there are support groups available.

Ghosts and zombies are also in the line of “relatively common, have specific laws around them, and in need of support groups.” Any neopian has a chance to come back from the dead, and there isn’t always a specific reason for it, or any particular way of telling exactly why someone might come back in one form over the other. In murder cases it’s usually pretty useful if they do come back around, but there’s no guarantee. In any case, violent crimes are relatively rare throughout most of neopia, if only because the chances of being called out by the person you just killed isn’t worth the risk for a lot of people. Also: “Halloween” unis fall into the undead category, seen as a rare halfway point between zombie and ghost.

Then, of course, there’s Mutants. Like actual mutants, not just mutations that make neopets look more pretty (not that Mutants arent lovely uwu). Seeing as this is a world with a lab ray and a lot of magic, weird stuff is bound to happen occasionally. In general, mutants aren’t considered a subspecies or anything else of that sort. They’re 100% on accident. Of course this doesn’t stop them from mingling with each other/the general populace, but their ability to do so depends largely on the area they live in and how close to the “normal” breed they appear. In the outskirts of bigger cities, there are some pretty big populations of mutant xwees/korbats/blumaroos/zafaras/techos who were just born that way, and a lot of the time they like to boast about their mutant heritage. In some cases, long-standing mutant families have found ways to rise to fame in some way or another. That said, most of the methods of becoming a mutant these days are 100% super duper illegal, so any newly made mutant neopets have to find a way to integrate themselves without drawing too much attention.

And FINALLY, there’s the end bit: can a neopet change their color/species at will using paintbrushes/morphing potions/etc?

As far as my own personal world goes: no. All the methods for changing that kind of thing permanently are dangerous, as exhibited by mutant pets being a thing. Even “paintbrushes” are considered a highly volatile magic, and those found in possession of one can face some serious fines, if not jail time. We’re talking about things that get in there and change the basic genetic makeup of a person. If a neopian wants to bleach and dye their fur so they look like a different color that’s fine, but to try and alter their color via magic like that is just straight up dangerous, to say nothing of totally changing their species. There is a whole group dedicated to getting their hands on these super illegal things for experimental purposes, and they arent above testing their products on random neopians who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. A lot of their philosophy sounds good at heart like “hey we should be allowed to change ourselves however!” and like... yes that’s true and good but like wait a minute because as proven by the folks who get cursed/randomly turned into shit it’s Not fun and it’s Not Safe and mass producing shiny paintbrushes and murky potions is a Bad Idea.

Chias in any form are also super illegal that’s just how it is sorry.